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#tomorrow for sure. i will get them done tomorrow for SURE.
yellowbrokenblue · 2 days
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His favourite employee
CEO!Harry x secretary!Y/N
cw: smut, feral dom!Harry, degradation
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It was 11pm. Hours past the time she was supposed to be home already. In a normal life she’d be tucked up in bed, ready to go to sleep. But instead she was here, her laptop open, cramming in as much as she could before she was back in the office at 8am tomorrow morning.
But she had to. She simply had to.
The look on Harry’s face tomorrow when he realises how much work she’d managed to complete would all be worth it, even if it meant doing overtime he wasn’t aware of.
“Y/N?”
Crap. She hadn’t even heard the door open. She’d dismissed the footsteps in the hallway as the buildings janitor, but her boss walking through the door had given her a fright.
“Oh! Uhm… Harry, hi…”
Harry chuckled, “Calm down, Y/N. Don’t look so frightened. It’s only me.”
Only him.
Only him was the understatement of the century. Harry Styles was the pinnacle of man. Gods best creation. You didn’t get any better than Harry Styles, it just wasn’t possible.
“What are you doing in here so late?” She asked him.
“I forgot my apartment key.” Harry said, “But I should be asking you why you’re in here so late, you were supposed to finish three hours ago.”
“I know…” She said, “But I just had so much I wanted to get done.”
“Is that right?” Harry asked, “Hm.”
He put his keys in his pocket, walking over to her desk and taking a seat on the edge of the table.
“You seem to do a lot for me around here, Y/N.” He said, “Isn’t that right?”
“I’m just trying to do my job.” She smiled in return.
“What you do for me, Y/N, is far beyond what I ask of any employee. We both know that.”
The room felt like it was one hundred degrees hotter with him sitting this close to her. Her breathing had gone too fast, and she was sweating buckets. Simply from his presence.
“I just have the companies best interests at heart. I have your best interests at heart.”
He raised an eyebrow.
“I don’t think that is the only reason, is it?”
“What do you mean?”
“You think I don’t notice, but I pick up on everything. I know you’re the first one in every morning, patiently waiting with your eyes on the door waiting for me to walk through. You’ll make any excuse to come and see me in my office, and you’ve taken on some of my personal assistant roles just so you can pick out my lunch every afternoon.”
She swallowed.
His eyes were stuck on hers. And she was sure he could tell that her heart was beating out of her chest.
“Of course, I can’t forget the cute little outfits you wear every day, Y/N. Not to mention that you’re always in a skirt.” Harry said, quieter this time, “And correct me if I’m wrong, but I can’t help but assume that is wishful thinking for that to be if something were to happen between us… It would give me…” Harry’s hand reached for the hem of her skirt, his fingers sliding underneath, “Easy access.”
Her breath hitched. Four years working for Harry’s company and he had finally touched her. This was all she’d ever wanted ever since her interview when she was 20 years old.
“Don’t look so nervous, Y/N.” He said, “I know how it feels to lust for someone. To spend every waking moment thinking about their body, to imagine them whenever you’re with someone else, just wishing it was them instead. To picture them when you touch yourself.”
Harry’s hand was sliding further up her thigh underneath her skirt. Her legs were pressed together with as much force as she could muster. Harry couldn’t know how wet she was in this moment, it would be embarrassing.
His thumb grazed the elastic of her panties.
“Tell me, Y/N.” He whispered, sliding off of the desk so he could talk directly into her ear. Her whole body shivered when his lips brushed against the skin of her earlobe, “Who is it you think about when you touch yourself.”
“Harry…” She breathed, “What are you-”
“Answer the question, Y/N.” He said, “You’re always a good, obedient girl when I ask you work related questions during office hours. And I expect the same from you outside of working time, even if we are in the office. Now, I’ll ask you again. Who do you think of when your hands are buried in your wet little pussy.”
She inhaled a sharp breath, not expecting the sudden change of his language. Her heart was racing, and his thumb was itching closer and closer to her desperate cunt.
“You.” She gasped, “You, Harry, I think of you.”
He smirked.
“Have you ever thought of me when you fucked another man?” He asked, “Have you ever said my name when you fucked someone else.”
His thumb brushed over her throbbing clit over the fabric of her panties.
“Oh!” She moaned, as his thumb pressed against her.
“Tell me.” He said again. “Tell me you think of me when you’re with other men.”
“I think of you all the time, Harry. Any time I’m with someone.”
“Do you sit in the office all day, doing the little jobs I give you, just imagining you were in my office instead?” He asked, “Do you ever imagine yourself bent over my desk, Y/N?”
He knelt down in front of her, and began to peel her underwear down her legs.
“I find that so hot, Y/N. The fact you sit and type your emails, just wishing my dick was inside you.”
“Harry…” She breathed, feeling his skin on hers.
“Pull your skirt up.” He said.
She looked at him, not quite believing her eyes. Harry was kneeling in front of her, pulling her soaked panties off her legs, looking like he wants to devour her.
“Who were you emailing?” Harry asked, sliding the panties off her legs completely, before looking back up at her.
“What?”
“Your emails are open on your laptop. Who were you emailing?”
“Just the electrician to fix the lights in the bathroom…” She said. “And then I was going to email the postal compan-”
She was caught by surprise by Harry placing his lips on her thighs, letting out a loud gasp.
He kissed up her thigh, towards her aching core.
“You’re so wet.” He hummed. “Who knew my words could turn someone on so much.”
Her breathing sped up, her hands shaking while they gripped the sides of the chair.
“Show me where you want me, sweet girl.” He said, pulling his head away. “Where do you want me to touch you?”
She shakily took her hand off of the side of the chair, moving it towards her throbbing pussy.
“That’s it, Y/N. Touch yourself where you want me to touch you.”
Her hand traveled towards the heat between her legs. This was embarrassing, she knew that. But at this point she didn’t give a shit, she’d do anything if it meant she could have a small part of Harry as an end result.
Her finger touched her clit gently, resisting a moan.
“Now touch yourself.” He said, “Touch yourself the way you to when you’re lying in bed at night thinking of me.”
That sentence alone made her want to combust. The things this man were doing to her with his just words were insane.
“Do it, Y/N. Do it if you want me.”
She listened. Of course she fucking listened.
She placed two fingers on her throbbing bud and began to move them in slow circles. She’d always start slow, moving her fingers at a steady pace to create intensity, and when she grew hungrier, she’d speed up the pace.
Harry watched her fingers move against her clit, covered in the wetness of her arousal. His dick was rock hard in his pants as she watched her head throw back against the chair with a loud moan.
“That’s it, Y/N.” He said, “Oh, you have no idea how this makes me feel… Watching you jack yourself off like this…”
“Oh! Harry!” She moaned, her hands moving faster.
He was almost drooling watching her. Between her fingers in her pussy, the moans coming from her mouth and that look on her face, he was loosing it all together.
“Stop.” He said bluntly.
Her hands stopped moving, and she looked at him. Nervousness was present all over her features. She went to pull her skirt back down, but she stopped him.
“I think it’s time for you to finish some of these emails, huh?” He smirked.
He teased her while he spoke, running his hand from the bottom of her thigh all the way to half an inch below the ache between her legs.
“And while you get your work done like the good little employee that you are… I’ll sort out your payment.”
His eyes stared hungrily at her dripping pussy.
“And maybe if you finish the email, I’ll let you cum.”
“Harry, please.” She moaned. “I don’t think I can do this.”
“My sweet girl. If you don’t type out that email you won’t be cumming at all. And if you don’t cum then I’m going to get you to sit your cute little ass on that chair and watch me jack off on your desk wishing that my cock was inside you instead of my own hand.” He said, “Now, we don’t want that to happen, do we?”
“No.” She replied.
“No, sir.”
“No, sir.” She corrected herself, swallowing.
Harry’s attention turned back to her pussy, his lips kissing up her thigh.
“The emails, Y/N.” He reminded her.
He slowly heard the keys be pressed on the keyboard, her legs twitching as his mouth moved further and further upwards. However the cry that left this girls mouth as his tongue came in contact with her clit was a sound that would be engrained in his memory for the rest of his life. Fuck porn, all he needed to jack off from now on was the memory of the sound she made as she fell apart at his touch.
“Harry. Fuck.”
His tongue moved in circles on her clit, pressing down hard.
That was until he heard the keys stop moving. So he stopped moving too.
“If you stop, I stop. You know the rules, honey.”
“Harry, please.” She begged, “Need you so bad.”
“I said you know the rules.”
“Please, Sir.”
“Type, Y/N.”
The keys moved on the laptop again. But she wasn’t entirely sure that the words being typed were actually words at all. But as soon as the keys started to move again, Harry kept his word, returning to his own work.
He moved faster, his mouth attacking her sweet pussy at a rate he didn’t think he’d ever went at before. Licking and sucking at her perfect clit while one hand palmed the erection in his pants to try his best to ease some tension.
His tongue moved away from her clit and he replaced it with two fingers, rubbing circles on her swollen bud while his mouth attacked her entrance, fucking her with his tongue.
“Fuck.” She screamed, “Fuck, I’m so close. Please, I need to cum. I’ve finished typing the email. Sir, make me cum, please.”
He kept going. He didn’t give a fuck if she’d finished the email or not at this point. The only thing on this man’s feral mind was to make her cum all over his face. He wanted to taste her sweetness while the sounds of her crying his name filled the office they were in.
When she soon cried out that she was cumming, he made careful care to make sure he was lapping up every sweet juice from her pussy. He was so feral over this woman it was becoming a problem. His dick was so hard he felt like he was going insane.
“You taste so good, my sweet girl.” He said, “Do you know how it makes me feel to hear you scream my name over and over again? Makes me so fucking hard, Y/N.”
He stood up and took her hand and pressed it against the bulge in his pants.
“I think it’s time we deal with this, hm?”
She nodded in agreement.
“You’ve been such a good girl for me already, let’s keep this up, okay? You’re going to go into my office, and by the time I get in there I expect you to be stripped and waiting for me, understood?”
She nodded, eyes wide as she looked up at him. However wasted no time going into his private office.
Fucking Harry in his own office had always been a fantasy of hers, and now it was finally coming true.
Harry on the other hand couldn’t think straight. The amount of lust and desire he had in this moment was clouding any thoughts he had apart from how badly he wanted to fuck her right now. When he made his way into his office he was completely stopped in his tracks by her. Her clothes were sprawled over the floor of his workspace, and there she was, leaning against his desk like someone sent from his own personal dream girl wonderland.
“You have no idea how long I’ve waited for this.” He said as he walked over to her, “I have wanted you naked in my office for so long, Y/N. Every time you come into work and let me see these gorgeous tits through one of your revealing little dresses or shirts it makes me so hard.”
He took one of her breasts in his hand, placing his lips against it, while he snaked his other arm around her waist to pull her closer to him.
He sucked several deep marks over both of her breasts, mumbling about how hot she was, and how perfect her tits were.
He began to mindlessly grinned his erection against her while he kissed her naked body, groaning into her skin.
“Harry.” She moaned. “Please. Please fuck me.”
“You want me to fuck you, huh? You want my dick?”
She nodded, desperately.
“Turn around and bend over my desk.” Harry demanded, unbuckling his belt, and sliding his pants down his legs.
He watched as she bent over for him, her perfect little ass in the air just for him.
“Oh look at you, Y/N.” He said, “Bent over my desk for me like this. So obedient, hm? An obedient little whore.”
He took his rock hard dick in one hand, pumping it a few times to get himself ready.
She moaned at his words.
“Do you like that, Y/N? When I call you a whore? Are you my little slut, Y/N?”
She moaned, desperate for him.
“Yes, Sir.” She cried, “I’m your whore.”
Without any warning, Harry pushed his dick inside of her, moaning as his cock pushed into her cunt.
She cried his name louder than ever before as he tore her open. He was so fucking big that it was slightly painful, but she didn’t care. It was the best pain she’d ever felt in her life.
“I’ve never fucked anyone as tight as this, Y/N. But I’ll loosen you up in no time with you bent over my desk like this.”
“Harry you’re so big.”
“But you can take it,” He said, “Be a good little slut and take my cock like a good girl.”
He groaned as his cock pushed all the way into her, giving her a few moments to adjust to his size.
“Wanna stay like this forever,” He groaned, “My fat cock buried in your sweet cunt.”
She moaned loudly.
Harry took both of her hands, using one hand to hold her wrists behind her back, his other hand holding onto the desk for extra support.
“I’m gonna start moving now. But you can take it, can’t you? A good fuckin’ slut for me.”
She cried out when his hips started to move, her head falling backwards with her wrists still restrained behind her back.
“Oh you’re so tight, Y/N. Gonna fill your pussy up with cum in no time.” He groaned.
“Oh… God, Oh fuck, yes!” She moaned as the speed of Harry’s hips increased, crashing against her in a desperate, rough manner.
He dropped her wrists, and her hands grabbed onto the desk, and instead grabbed a bundle of her hair, wrapping it around his hand, pulling her head backwards. She cried out with pleasure as he fucked her harder, the whole office filled with nothing but the sound of their skin hitting one another, and their bordering pornographic moans.
“Fuck, Harry.” She cried, “I’m so close.”
His mind was foggy. The only real thing in his mind right now was the feeling of his dick inside her, how he wanted to feel her cum on his cock and how he wanted to fill her pussy up with his release. He was feral for her.
“You make me crazy, Y/N,” He groaned, “‘M gonna fill you up with my cum.”
“Keep going, just like that.” She moaned, “I’m so close.”
He knew as soon as she had reached her orgasm. Y/N cried out with these heavenly moans as her walls clenched around his cock, cumming all over him.
The tightness of her made Harry unable to hold on for much longer, reaching his own release, moaning into her shoulder as his cum dripped down Y/N’s legs, his cock still inside her.
“Harry…” She moaned.
“I know, gorgeous. I know.” He said, “So fuckin’ perfect, you know that?”
He pulled out of her, ignoring the state of mess that the office was now in.
“How am I supposed to go to work normally when I know I’d rather be fucking your pretty little cunt every day, hm?”
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qwimblenorrisstan · 14 hours
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I always see so many drabbles and posts about yandere!141, and how they would sabotage reader’s work or income or relationships to get them all to themselves, but what about the other way around?
No one would suspect you, a field medic, to be responsible for much other than patching wounded men up and soothing those already too far gone. Your had your eye on the 141 for a while already, operated alongside them during missions, grown closer, and decided that you would claim them before whatever cruel fate awaited them in this career did.
It wasn’t like you’d done it directly, anyways.
Sure, you might’ve let Price off a bit earlier than you should’ve with the sprain to his ankle and knees, he would surely wear them down, and you weren’t exactly surprised when he collapsed mid-mission, ACL torn, tendons ripping and breaking one knee. Injuries too severe to get back in the field.
Ghost had the displeasure of encountering a Molotov that “the enemy” had thrown through a window, one he hadn’t noticed until it was too late, and his body was too covered in burns to be considered operable enough for him to stay in the military.
Poor Gaz, who’d been captured by the enemy (who somehow knew where he was, though they shouldn’t have…) and tortured with isolation and starvation for weeks. He was so delirious and paranoid when he was finally recovered that he was deemed a risk in any mission.
And Soap? You hadn’t even played a part in that, simply watching as Makarov had put a bullet in his skull. The Scotsman had barely survived it, now having random episodes every now and then when his battered brain would start seeing or hearing things that weren’t there.
Who had made the final decision for all of them to be honorably discharged? None other than you, the most fit medic to do so, considering how close you’d been with them before the incidents.
And who volunteered to act as a nurse for the boys while they lived together in a house somewhere rural with rolling fields and fresh air, who better for the job than you, who could heal their injuries with little kisses to them, and maybe even get them attached enough that you’ll stay beyond the time you’re needed?
No one noticed or seemed to mind within the house when one of the boys would slip into your room in the middle of the night, whether for more medicine, a massage, simple cuddles to soothe their unrest, or something more.
And you weren’t complaining a bit.
(might make this a full fic tomorrow if I have time??)
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samofmine · 2 days
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i have this hc that if sam and dean need to part ways for some reason or if they're away from each other for too long they won't stop texting/calling each other, to the point it annoys everyone.
like, dean will be on the car with jody after just leaving the bunker and he'll call sam and tell him something he forgot to say before they left and its obviously just an excuse and jody rolls her eyes.
"you just saw him 3 minutes ago. did you think he disappeared?"
she expects a laugh but dean becomes tense and well, okay. not really something to joke about around him. she watches him grab his phone again to send a text and she wont even pretend like it's for someone else.
or sam will be at the grocery shop and call dean to ask what is the brand of frozen pizza he usually buys (they get the same every time but he has to be sure). and then he calls again to let him know he's done and will be home in a few minutes.
dean texts him stupid jokes as well, because if sam isnt there to hear them at least he can read them and not miss out on how funny he is. sam only replies to them with lol or 🙄.
sometimes when it's the middle of the night and they are each in their own rooms and sam gets too anxious about whatever crap they're currently facing and he can't fall asleep, he calls dean to hear his voice tell him something he forgot to say or to ask a question about whatever they have to do tomorrow.
sometimes dean wakes up from a bad dream and calls sam just to remember what's real. he doesnt say anything, and sam is used to it already, so he tries to comfort him "it's okay, de. it was just a bad dream. you're okay. we're safe."
when sam has his nightmares, he's always reluctant to call dean but dean always hears him waking up, even when he doesn't scream, so he calls him instead. he never addresses the nightmares, just keeps talking about random stuff until sam's heart slows down enough
they never really got used to sleeping alone, but of course they don't go knocking on each other's bedroom door and letting themselves in. that would be weird.
they fall back asleep with their phones on their ears more than once.
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ambiguouslady42 · 2 days
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Pairing: Hajime Umemiya x Fem! Reader
CW: Oral (f/m receiving), food play, vaginal sex, creampie, mention of a scar.
Summary: You go on a strawberry-picking date with Umemiya. Later, you decide to make chocolate strawberries and the rest is history.
WC: ~2K
Tags: @pixelcafe-network, @awkwardchick87, @jellyfishsart,
@missvulpix212, @hayatoseyepatch, @peachsukii
@entirelysein-e
MINORS DO NOT INTERACT.
Strawberry season is coming to a close. You dislike the summer sun, but your Ume loves seeing plants be happy and blooming. He surprised you today by picking strawberries at a local farm. The batch he grew for you disappeared quickly into whatever sweet delights you created. He loves that you’re able to find every possible way to use what he grows. With the varieties of strawberries (about 9, to be exact), you knew this was the perfect date for today. He could help you choose the best ones to use for today or for tomorrow. As you’re picking your strawberries, your hands are slowly grazing his as you’re choosing which strawberries you’re going to take home tonight. 
Both of you are reaching for the same strawberry and your hands just bump into each other in this instance. There is no need for an apology because you’re both giggling because you think so alike. You take this opportunity to kiss his cheek. He loves the small affections that you give him. A kiss on the cheek, a soft kiss on his hand whenever he holds it, and the gentle embrace you give him when he’s not expecting it. 
With your strawberry basket in hand, you are satisfied with the bundles of strawberries you picked out. Red and luscious, you’re thinking about what you can make tonight. As you’re both getting home, you decide to slip into something more comfortable. You decide to go for the button-up night dress, it’s freeing to wear after being outside in the fields. Your handsome man is wearing a white T-shirt and pyjama trousers. Anytime that he could wear that white t-shirt, you catch yourself gazing at his strong arms. Whenever he stretches, you like that you could see his exposed torso. He’s looking at you with those crystal eyes; you could gaze into them and get lost in them forever.
Despite the heat, you are feeling decadent. Thinking about what’s in your pantry, you remember you have baker’s chocolate that would go perfectly with these sweet strawberries. You’re heating the chocolate and making sure you’re not burning it. As you're using the spatula to stir carefully, your Ume decides to sneak up on you and wrap his arms around your waist as you're working on your decadent treat.
“You can’t have any right now until I'm done with ALL of them”, you say in a teasing tone.  
“I’m not here for the strawberries, I just wanted to feel you close to me right now,” he says softly as he’s holding you tighter. 
“Isn’t this what someone says if they want something?”, you ask him coyly. 
“Maybe, perhaps.” He begins to gently tug on the night dress to expose your left shoulder. He’s slowly peppering you with soft kisses on your shoulder, trailing towards the nape of your neck. You know that he’s touching one of your weak points, but you will not relent.
“You… have…. to wait. I’m nearly done here.”  Your response tells him that you’re going to relent to him. 
“How much longer?” He begins to work his way to the right side of your neck and peppering kisses on your right shoulder. You feel that you are melting to his touch. His nose begins to nuzzle on the back of your neck. He can smell the faint hint of sun lotion and your sweet scent. It’s even sweeter than the strawberries you picked. 
“There, last one!” You quickly turn around and kiss him. He holds you just a little tighter. You run your fingers through his white, soft hair. You love the way that it curls outward. You permit yourself to show him hungry he makes you for his touch. As your hands are rummaging through his perfect hair, his hands begin to explore your body. His hands gently lift your night dress, and he places his fingers on your hips. He begins to twirl his fingers on the elastic of your underwear. You begin to laugh in between the kisses and try to grab his hands from further touching you, but he uses this as an opportunity to hold your hands. He pauses kissing you to pepper your hands with the affection you desire. 
The softer kisses are always preferable at times. So tender and sweet to the touch, you feel the electricity coursing through your body. There’s still a small ache in your sex that desires to feel him everywhere. He takes this moment to return to holding you and he lifts you on the kitchen counter. He has you cornered and he embraces you as he now wants to explore your body through those soft kisses. 
“Ume…I…need you,” you whisper to him.
“I know, my beautiful sunflower,” he tells you in between his kisses.
He decides to undress you right in this space. Every button that he unbuttons, he rewards you with another kiss. You know that you’re his, but each time feels more special than the last. As he reaches the last button, he feels hungrier for you than he was earlier. Your nearly exposed body and underwear are right in front of him. At times you feel self-conscious because of the stretchmarks and the scar on your right rib. He doesn’t mind; he’ll always find you beautiful.
This time, he chooses not to tease you and begins to fully expose you on this kitchen counter. You begin to feel shy and wrap your arms to hide your breasts. He slowly walks towards your decadent dessert and picks two of them up; He takes a bite and knows that this sweet strawberry was prepared perfectly. However, he knows that he is eager to taste you instead. He walks towards you and feeds you your creation. As he does, he grabs your hand, so you can hold the strawberry. As he hands it over to you, it exposes your breast to him. He begins to gently suck on your nipple. You can’t decide which feels better, the taste of your decadent dessert or the sensation that your Ume is making you feel. You become distracted and are moaning rather than eating. 
He stops to look up at you. As gentle as his gaze is, he leans closer to whisper, “I want you to finish eating your strawberry before I make you cum.” The whisper alone makes you moan, but within seconds, he’s trailing his way to get in between your legs. You feel his hot tongue playing with your clit. You proceed to continue eating your strawberry. The taste of the chocolate and the juicy sweetness of the strawberry combined with this sensation make it much more euphoric than you can imagine. As you finish the entire strawberry, you feel the urge to come building up. He proceeds to place one finger in between as he’s playing with your clit with his warm tongue. You’re leaning further back into the counter space. 
“Ume…my love…right there…” You feel like you want him even more. You long to feel his girthy cock inside of you. “My…love…I’m going to need more of you. This…isn’t going…to…” You can’t bring yourself to finish the sentence as you’re coming. He proceeds to kiss you between your thighs and kisses his way back up your torso, trailing his tongue around breasts, and choosing to give you kisses on your neck. 
“Mmm, I think my sunflower needs just a little more…would you agree?” as he looks at you with dishevelled hair. 
You feel speechless as he walks to grab a plate of your strawberries. He hands them off to you before he proceeds to carry you to your bedroom like a bride. He gently places you on the edge of the bed. You proceed to eat a strawberry as you’re watching him turn around and take off his shirt. You see the muscles on his back and the slight scratches that you left from the last time. 
You get up and feed him a strawberry this time. You proceed to hand it off to him this time as you get on your knees to take off his pants. Ume is trying to concentrate on the sweetness of the fruit as you’re licking his exposed cock. You lick it and you slowly begin to kiss the tip of his cock before taking it in. The sweet taste of the fruit lingers as you are sucking his cock. You love that his cock at this point tastes like the fruit that you prepared earlier. You feel hungrier as you place your hands on his hips. His hands are rummaging through your hair and he is slowly beginning to thrust himself further into your mouth. He wants to save his cum for somewhere else. He makes you stop and lifts you to kiss you. You love how you can taste him and he can taste you with each kiss exchanged. The plate of strawberries is in the centre of your bed.
“I have an idea, how about I feed you some strawberries…as I’m making love to you?” He asks as he’s kissing your shoulders once again. 
You know that he will take care of your needs in the bed. You long to feel him inside of you. You nod and agree with his proposal. He gently places you on your side of the bed. The plate of strawberries is next to you now. He proceeds to position himself to enter you from the side. He gently begins to thrust into you. His arm reaches out to the strawberry as he proceeds to feed you. You begin to giggle because you can’t decide again which is more pleasurable, him or the taste of the strawberry. For each thrust, you’re able to bite into the fruit and finish it quickly. He kisses your back as you proceed to reach for another piece. The sensation of his cock inside of you as you’re eating is delightful. He begins to hold your leg up as you feel his pace quickening. 
“Mmmm…darling! Right there. Please…don’t stop.” as you’re grasping your hands into the sheets. 
“Do you… want to feel… me deeper inside of you?” he asks you in his softest voice. 
“Ye…s…Ume, I…want… all of you inside of me.” It’s becoming more challenging to concentrate on making coherent sentences. Your Ume knows that you’re nearly at the finish line. He decides to lay you flat on your stomach. 
“Please…I need all you.” You beg him. 
“Don’t worry, sunflower…you’ll be able to feel all of me.” He tells you. He covers your back with kisses as he places his cock back inside of you. You feel his cock going deeper and you feel yourself wanting to scream. He sweeps your hair to the side to make sure he can see the right side of the neck and shoulder. He is gently placing kisses as he is going deeper and slower than he previously was. 
“When…you’re ready…please finish inside of me. I need to feel all of you tonight.” You command him as you’re releasing another moan. 
“As you…wish.” He responds to you by picking up his pace. He pins your hands to the bed as he fully claps them. His cock went deeper and faster. His balls are now slapping against you. 
“Umi…I love…you so…much. I want to be…yours…” you say so quietly.
With this, he begins to cum inside of you. You feel the warmth of his cum between your legs and he continues to keep his cock inside of you. He showers you with kisses and draws hearts on your bare back with his fingers. He slowly pulls out.
“My sunflower, you were magnificent tonight. As sweet as these strawberries, if not sweeter,” he whispers to you before giving you one more kiss. 
He proceeds to grab the plate that is still next to you. He can fully savour the labour of your love.
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ikilledyvette · 2 days
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(Part II of my seriously condensed 9-1-1 fic is here! Hope people enjoy, even though it's all a bit rushed!)
Part I
Sunday afternoon, Father’s Day. It’s always a hard day for Bobby, but usually, working helps him get through it. Today has been ... worse, and not just for him. Bobby finds Eddie on the couch, staring blankly into nothing. Bobby sits down beside him, a silent invitation to talk. Eddie doesn’t always take him up on it.
Today, Eddie says, “He hasn’t called,” and Bobby reminds him the day isn’t over yet. Eddie asks, “What if he doesn’t call?” and Bobby reminds him about tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that. 
“Every day you’re both alive is another chance to make things right,” Bobby says. “Don’t give up on tomorrow just yet, Eddie.”
Buck comes by then, and Eddie takes off to give the two some space. Buck says, “So, I had dinner with my parents the other night.” Bobby asks how it went, and Buck says, “Yeah, not great. They had, uh. A lot to say about me, you know. Going through a gay phase, or something. Wanting attention. Getting too old for, I don’t know. Making stuff up, I guess.”
Bobby nods. Cautiously, he says, “Sounds to me like they still don’t know you very well.”
Buck huffs a quiet laugh. “Yeah. Thing is, everything they said ... it’s all stuff I’ve thought too, you know? Like, I’ve always done stupid things to get people’s attention. Their attention, Tommy’s. Yours. And if ... if what I’m feeling, who I am, is ... is real ... how could I have not known before, right? And I, I do know how I feel about Tommy—I like him so much, Bobby, you don’t even know—”
Bobby knows. Everyone knows. Buck’s joy is not subtle; it shines through him, a thing to behold.
“—but sometimes I still—” Buck breaks off and sighs. “Well, maybe that’s why I reacted so badly last night. Cause sometimes, I worry they’re right.”
“They’re not,” Bobby says immediately.
“How do you know that?”
And Bobby hesitates, not sure Buck is going to want to hear this right now. But still, he says, “Because I know you, kid.”
“Yeah,” Buck says, smiling a little. “You do. Bobby, I’m. I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to—”
“I do. Cause that night we talked about Tommy? You didn’t ask me to, to explain myself, or suggest maybe I wasn’t thinking things through. You didn’t need me to prove anything. You just accepted it, Tommy and me. You accepted me.” Buck shakes his head. “I told this to Maddie once, but sometimes it’s easier to lash out at the person you know is always going to forgive you. My parents, that’s not them, never will be. But you, uh. You’re safe.”
Bobby swallows a little at that. He wants to be that person for Buck—but Bobby know he isn’t, can’t be. He’s the reason his family is dead; he’s the reason so many people are dead. 
“I know I hurt you,” Bobby says. “If I hadn’t left the way I did, Gerrard would never have been captain, and—”
“You think this is about Gerrard? Maybe you don’t know me as well as you thought.” But Buck’s voice is teasing, lessening the sting. “Yeah, I mean, working under Gerrard was ... rough, for a lot reasons. But that’s not ... Hen was the one mad at you for that.”
Bobby is aware. Hen had forgiven him pretty quickly, but her attitude towards Bobby on his first day back had been ... cool, to say the least. Bobby understands why, had prepared himself for Hen’s anger, potentially Chimney’s, too. They both went through a lot, working under Gerrard the first time around. Bobby had expected them to be upset.
He’s not sure why he hadn’t expected Buck to be.
“I’m not mad about Gerrard,” Buck tells him. “I’m mad that you lied. You—you were saying goodbye all day, only we didn’t know, I didn’t know. And you just—you were just going to leave?”
“I didn’t want—”
“You didn’t want us to change your mind,” Buck says, now visibly upset. “You—you said goodbye, Bobby. I didn’t realize it then, what you were doing, but—if you were gone, if you left, and I could have done something to stop it, stop you from, from—"
And Bobby realizes suddenly that Buck isn’t just talking about Bobby quitting.
“Hey,” Bobby says. “Listen. I’m not going anywhere, okay?”
“For how long?” Buck asks, and it’s not mockery this time. It’s pleading. Anxious. Young. For as much Buck has been through, for as much progress he’s made over the last seven years, Bobby is struck every now and then by how young Buck still is.
“That’s not up to me,” Bobby says and points up, skyward, at the man upstairs. “And listen, Buck, I won’t deny I was ... I was in a pretty dark place a couple of months ago. I should’ve been more honest about that. But I’m here, and I mean to stay here as long as I can. Okay? I’m not going anywhere without a fight, I promise.”
Buck inhales, a deep, shuddery breath, and Bobby hugs him, and Buck hugs Bobby back. 
“I’m sorry,” Buck says again. “I think, maybe. I think I’ve just been really scared.”
Bobby hugs him a little tighter and says, “I’ve got you. I’ve got you, kid.”
Footsteps on the stairs interrupt them a few minutes later. “Not to break up this long overdue moment,” Chimney says, “but Buck, you’ve got another visitor.”
Buck turns with a little dread, expecting his parents and not sure he’s ready to face them just yet—but it’s Maddie. This time, it’s Bobby and Chimney who disappear downstairs to give the Buckley siblings some space.
Maddie tells Buck that their parents are flying home. “I told them to go,” she says. “And not to come back.”
“Chimney told you,” Buck realizes, resigned and more than a little annoyed.
“Of course, he did,” Maddie says. She’s slightly exasperated but mostly worried. “Why didn’t you?” 
She thinks he’ll say something about not wanting to ruin Maddie’s relationship with their parents or Jee Yun’s relationships with her grandparents, and Buck does lead with that. But mostly, Buck’s ashamed of how he petty it was, bringing up Daniel. “I didn’t want you to think that I, I resented him,” he says. “I really don’t, Maddie. He was just a kid, and he never got the chance to grow up and, and I wish I could’ve given him that chance. I wish I could’ve met the person he would’ve become.”
“I know,” Maddie tells him, and reminds him that it’s not his fault; it was never his responsibility to save Daniel. Buck says he doesn’t blame their mom for slapping him after what he said, and Maddie, steely, says, “Well, I do. For that, and also for how they talked to you—no, it’s not okay. What if Jee grows up and realizes she likes both boys and girls someday? I don't want Mom talking to her like that. Do you?"
Buck recoils a little, and Maddie nods. “Would you be okay if Mom ever hit Jee Yun?” she asks. “Even if she said something terrible? Even if she deserved it?”
“She could never deserve it,” Buck says, knowing what Maddie’s doing but unable to keep quiet, not when his sister looks so upset, not with the ghost of Doug so heavy in the air. He hates to think of how many times Doug must have told Maddie that she was to blame for everything he did to her. “But Maddie, I don’t think Mom or Dad would ever—”
“Maybe not,” Maddie says, “but that doesn’t make them safe. They screw up, and they always feel bad about it, but they never really apologize. They never put in the work. They just ... make excuses and expect that we’ll forgive them, but I think I’m done with that now. I’m done with relationships where it’s only my responsibility to try harder, to smooth things over, to say the right thing, to always forgive. Maybe someday, if Mom and Dad actually work on themselves, but for right now ..." Maddie shakes her head. "Enough is enough.”
Buck gets that, he does. But he admits he isn’t sure he’s ready to cut off his parents yet, isn’t sure he wants too. He still wants to keep trying, and Maddie says that’s okay. What matters is, they still have each other. And she won’t try to change his mind if he doesn’t try to change hers.
Buck offers her a pinky swear. Maddie smiles and hooks her finger around his.
*
Meanwhile, downstairs, a phone rings.
“Christopher?” Eddie says, and takes a few steps, turning away from everyone. 
It is Christopher. He calls to wish his dad a happy Father’s Day, but also to say he loves him, and while he’s not quite ready to come home yet, he still wants to come home, and maybe soon.
“I miss you,” Christopher tells him. “I don’t want to miss you anymore. But you have to stop lying to me.”
“I can do that,” Eddie promises.
“And go back to therapy.”
Eddie laughs. “Already on top of that one, bud. Maybe ... we could go together, sometime, when you come home?”
“Yeah,” Christopher says. “I’d like that. I love you, Dad.”
“Love you too, Chris,” Eddie says. He hangs up, takes a breath before turning around, and announces, “Christopher called!" as if everyone—including Maddie and Buck, leaning over the balcony—weren’t badly pretending not to eavesdrop.
Everyone cheers and rushes Eddie. 
“What did I tell you?” Bobby asks him. “What did I tell you?” Hen asks, too, and Eddie says, “Yeah, yeah,” to both of them, with wet eyes and a shaky, hopeful smile.
“This calls for champagne!” Chimney announces. “But since we’re all on duty ... cheap coffee and leftover Ding Dong, Gerrard is Gone cake it is!”
—All in all, it’s the best Father’s Day the 118 has had in a long, long time. 
(And that's it! Apologies, fellow Tommy fans, that he didn’t make it into Part 2—but you know. If Tommy’s at the fire house, who’s flying the plane? Actually, Tommy’s too busy babysitting Jee Yun, and—to both Buck and Chimney’s horror—introducing her to all the worst Star Wars movies. She loves them.)
Tag List @lavenderleahy @v88sy
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indig0trolls · 13 hours
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TINY BUSTS - ALT KIDS PT. 1
Decided to post them separately after all since I dont see getting the rest done til the wee hours and i need to focus on other things tomorrow.
34$ Each! [ONE] [TWO] [THREE] [FOUR]
Please try to limit yourself to one to make it fair to others, and if you buy from this half, do not buy from the second half when it goes up until its been up for at least 24 hours.
Tos under cut, please be sure to read it!
TERMS OF SERVICE
You MAY change the design/species of any design i've made after youve bought it, but you must leave credit with INDIG0TEA for the design, and the design itself must be recognizable.
Gender/sex/etc is ultimately up to the buyer.
You may NOT resell the design for more than you paid for it, unless it comes with extra art either made by you (listed for your current or historical commission rates), or commissioned by you. Gift art/free art does not count towards the value of any design I make, ever. Additionally: You may not ever ask for, recieve, or offer full resale plus non-currency add ons (such as, but not limited to: art, characters, merchandise, games, game currency, etc.). Yes, even if the offer as couched as "free art/commission/character". Partial resale may be negotiated only for designs whose original buying price was 30 or more dollars USD, and split dollar amount may be for no less than 2/3 of the list price to prevent people trying to workaround this TOS to encourage other people to accept their offers. (For example: Partial resale on a 30$ design may be a maximum of 20$ partial + non-currency add on.) This is to prevent overoffering/artificially inflating resale value. I am willing to make exceptions to this clause, but you will have to speak to me directly to ensure my TOS is being respected.
If the design is gifted/traded at any point, all financial value up to that point is lost and it may not be resold until further art is made/commissioned for it.
You may not include my designs in resale bundles. Period.
You may not EVER feed ANY of my art into an AI interface of ANY kind.​​​​​​​​
If you resell, trade, or gift this design, please inform me that it has been traded/resold/gifted so that I may update the TOS to reflect that and so future buyers cannot be scammed.
You may not resell, gift, or trade this design (or any of my designs) to anyone on my blacklist, which is linked below for your convenience. Doing so will result in immediate blacklisting/blocking of your accounts.
You may not ever edit the original artwork(s).
You may not repost the original artwork to deviantart, instagram, or other social media/portfolio sites.
You may not use this design for the creation of license-able media such as (but is not limited to): books, animated shorts/shows, Vtuber/twitch streamer sonas, comics/webcomics, and video games (free or otherwise). If you would like to use this design in anything like this, we can negotiate a one time licensing fee which covers use in all of the above. This can be anywhere form an additional 150-500$ depending on your intended use.
You MAY use your design for any other purpose, so long as you are not profiting financially off of my work nor passing it off as your own.
You are allowed to store it in your deviantart sta.sh, post it to tumblr profiles, or upload it to websites like toyhou.se with proper credit. However, you may not reupload to toyhou.se, to keep the ownership log intact, and to keep the original tos consistent.
For my personal comfort, you may not delete original TH listings from toyhou.se and resell it separately. This is again to keep the ownership log intact, and to keep the original tos consistent. If the person you wish to resell it to does not have a toyhou.se, I have plenty of invite codes I can give out as necessary.
You MUST credit to INDIG0TEA the first time you post art of them to websites other than toyhou.se
Violation of many of these terms will result in permanent blacklisting/banning from buying or owning designs by me in the future.
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prophecyofgray · 8 months
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sometimes life is just not doing a Task and then feeling guilty about not doing it but continuing to put it off and then getting trapped in a cycle of guilt -> misery -> procrastination -> more misery -> not doing anything not even fun stuff cuz ur too guilty but also too miserable to do the damn thing. and then u have to drag urself kicking and screaming to the task and go HEY. DO IT. and then u do it and everythigns fine again <3
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benevolenterrancy · 4 days
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Congrats, now all I'm going to be able to think about all day long is Chifeng-zun being stunned into silence by the sight of Meng Yao's braids, the same as if he had never left. His hand reaches out and clenches in mid-air, while Jin Guangyao stands shell-shocked and panicking, or blissfully oblivious to how Nie Mingjue's world is tilting on its axis. He could be mad, the rage that almost let him call the Unclean Realm home making Hensheng thrum: because what right does Nie Mingjue have to want him now, when he finally has a place he belongs? And why does want to quit it all for him?
Anyway, now you can share in my brain worms~
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In that moment, something was communicated
unfortunately, neither knew exactly what it was
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cerise-on-top · 2 months
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more team up tickles for shadow company and kortac but it’s just Reader getting attacked?
I wrote a Shadow Company fic on accident. Sorry. I'll post something for KorTac tomorrow, if I remember to do it. But even then, it'll only be Horangi and König. König because I love him, and Horangi because I've written team up tickles with him and König before.
Shadow Company Team Up Tickles
It’s not that unlikely that some of them would take a little bit after Graves. Some of them would be confident and cocky. Some of them would become rather touchy. Some of them would become playful. It’s not that uncommon for the Shadows to goof around a little bit. They’ll playfight plenty, and tickle fights are not unheard of either. Sometimes the Shadows make plans regarding who’s going to be their next victim. Usually it’s Graves, but sometimes their goofy boss joins in on the fun. However, today you seemed a little more on edge than usual. Although nothing in particular may have happened, you were still a little pissy. A few Shadows have approached you already, trying to soothe your anger with hugs, cuddles and kisses. Angry as you were, you turned them down. So naturally, more drastic measures needed to be used against you.
You were in the training room, silently seething as you stared at the punching bag. Could you really let out your anger like that? Or would it only be a gateway into something worse? You weren’t sure. With earphones in your ears, you opted for finding the right song instead. Something aggressive. Some form of death metal would do. Distracted by the device in your hand, you ignored the majority of the world, as you had been all day now. With a sigh, you could feel the anger rising yet again as you were unable to find the correct song to set the ideal mood. Had it been up to you, you would have thrown your phone on the floor and smashed it into a thousand bits and pieces. The music you were currently listening to wasn’t nearly aggressive enough. You needed something to rip heads off to.
A tap on your shoulder and you turned around. Met with a cocky smile, you were not quite in the mood to return it, you found yourself face to face with Phil, a few Shadows entering the training room behind him. Although you would have loved nothing more than to ignore him, you took out your earbuds.
“Looking a bit stressed there, sugar.”
“Phil, I am this close to killing someone. What is it?” Holding back a sigh, you counted the Shadows behind him. There were three. 8-4, 7-2 and 2-3. The three that tried to cheer you up today. You were fairly certain they were up to no good, even if you weren’t quite sure what they were going to do. Regardless, you wanted nothing to do with it.
Phillip slung an arm around you, pulling you closer to him. “Just needed to cheer you up a little. Can’t have you sulking around all day, after all. Give us a smile and we’ll leave you alone.” There was quite a bit of strength to him, you likely couldn’t pull away from him if you tried.
“Nothing to smile about in my life. I’ll be fine, just leave me alone. I’m just gonna blow off some steam tonight and by tomorrow I’ll be back to my usual self, I’m sure of it.” On the one hand, you wanted to lean into him. On the other hand, you wished you could have just weaseled your way out of his grasp. In the end, you opted for staying completely still, letting Phil do as he pleased.
8-4 walked up to you, gently taking your hand in theirs and placing a kiss on top of it. “We’re gonna leave you alone once we’re certain you’re not gonna blow the place to smithereens. For now, just relax, we’ll take care of everything.”
7-2 was wearing her usual, cocky grin. Oh, she thought she was so much better than you. She had something planned. They all did. If you spent any more time with them, that’s when you were going to blow up the company and everyone in it. 2-3 seemed shy, as per usual. Had you not been so angry at nothing, you would have assured him that everything was going to be alright. Not that you understood how someone as anxious as him was such a capable soldier anyway. Sweet as he was, you couldn’t believe he was such a good leader.
Now it was 7-2’s turn to speak up as she made her way towards you. Standing still right in front of you, she put her hands on your hips. “Sweetie, you’ll be leaving this room with a big smile on your face, I’ll personally make sure of it.”
“And how are you going to do that, bastard? I woke up ready to murder someone.”
Slowly, she ran her fingers up your sides, tenderly holding onto your ribs. “I have my ways.” That twinkle of mischief in her eyes did not go unnoticed by you. And all of a sudden, it hit you.
“Don’t you fucking dare, asshole,” you snarled, baring your teeth. As much as you loved her, as much as you loved all of them, you couldn’t believe just how stupid all of them were.
“Oh, I think I will.” Her eyes showed nothing short of madness as she held onto your wrist. She was considerably taller than you, considerably stronger as well as a result. No matter how much you fought, no matter how much you struggled to break free, she slowly brought your arms above your head. “You’ve insulted me for the last time today. You’re gonna apologize to us all, won’t you?” Even as you tried to kick her, she did not budge.
Phil released you. “2-3, your turn. You’ll be starting off nice and slow. Maybe you can get our beloved little Shadow down onto the ground. You have two minutes. Make them count, soldier.”
“Fuck you! All four of you! I’m going to get my revenge on all of you once I get out of her fucking grasp. You dumb brute, I’m going to make sure to give you nightmares!”
You could merely watch as 2-3 placed himself behind you. He put his hands under your shirt, waiting another few seconds. “I’m sorry, but you kind of deserve this today.” And with that, he skittered his fingers over your sides. You jerked away from his touch, closer to 7-2. 2-3 was gentle, you wanted to punch him for it. Although you squeezed your eyes shut, you did not giggle. No, you were much stronger than that. What kind of soldier would break after the first few gentle touches? As he drew circles on your tummy, it quivered a little bit. No matter how close you pressed yourself to 7-2, he always found a way to get you there. When he ran his fingers across your back, you hid your face in 7-2’s shoulder.
“Damn, if you wanted a hug so bad, you could have just said so.”
“Shut- Shut up! I’m concentrating here!” That cunt honestly had the gall to hold both of your wrists in one hand, snaking her arm around your waist and squeezing your side rapidly. Unfortunately, that was enough for you to push her away, falling right into 2-3’s arms. As you stepped back, he placed a leg behind yours, making you trip. Although he may have caught you, he still lowered you onto the ground, making you even more vulnerable. Naturally, 7-2 took this as an invitation to straddle you. However, other than that, she did nothing. None of them did.
“Good job. 8-4, would you like to have a go solo? We’re all going to to wreck our little grump together afterwards.”
“Don’t you fucking dare humiliate me like that,” you growled, spewing poison at those snakes. They had the antidote to it, however, as they didn’t even flinch.”
“I’m gonna hold our little sugar cookie down, you do as you please, alright?” No matter how much you thrashed, no matter how much you tried to buck her off, 7-2 stayed right on top of you.
8-4, that bitch damned to an eternity in hell, kneeled down next to your feet, taking off your shoes. “You know, all of that could have been prevented easily. Just be nicer towards us next time and we’re gonna be nice to you too! Even though I think we’re being merciful towards you right now, we’re just making you smile, love!” And with that, they started scribbling away at full speed, never even once considering your feelings.
You tried to kick, you tried to thrash, but it was no use. Biting your lip so hard, you drew blood, you started to smile.
“Aw, darl, you’re looking mighty adorable with a smile on your face. It suits you!” You didn’t even notice as Phil knelt down beside you. “Just let the damn break, we’’ll all be happier if you do.” And with that, he dug his fingers into your armpits. You almost screamed when he did that. Clamping down your arms, curling your toes, it was soon too much for you and you actually started laughing. Grabbing Phil’s hands, you almost always missed. And when you did grab one? Bastard held your hand for a few seconds, giving it a few reassuring squeezes before going back to tickling you. “Look at you, you’re so cute. We should get you good like this more often.” He cooed. As much as you despised that fact, he sounded as though he was being honest. But then again, he wouldn’t be torturing you like this if he didn’t enjoy it.
Another two pairs of hands joined in, one tickling your ribs and your stomach, alternating between those two spots, and the other going for your other foot. One pair of hands was gentle, drawing small circles on your soles, gently caressing it, the other pair was rough, drilling into your ribs, vibrating there and being rather unrelenting.
“Will you apologize now?”
“You should laugh more often. We should do this more often!”
“I’m not being too rough here, am I?”
“No, if anything, you should be rougher. Hold the toes back like this and scratch like that.”
You screeched, tears welling up in your eyes. The sensation was overwhelming.
“PLEASE STOP!! I’M SORRY!! IT WON’T HAPPEN AGAIN!!”
And with that, all eight hands ceased their onslaught at once. Panting, you just lied there, eyes closed.
“You better not have pissed yourself.”
As much as you would have loved to retort with a “shut up”, you stayed quiet. If you had been rude, you might have had to go through this again.
“You cheered up now?”
“Yes, I’m… I’m sorry.”
You were being sat up and held against someone’s chest. Judging by their scent, it was likely Phil. Wrapping your arms around him, you hid your face in his shoulder. Although he may have been an idiot at times, your commander still stood for safety. He could always make the others go away, should he feel more merciful now. Another hand rubbed your back.
“We didn’t go overboard, did we?” You didn’t respond.
“Oi, fuckface, you do realize that just about the entire base would help you get back at us, right? You better keep that revenge close to your heart, I wanna get a good fight out of you next time.” Cunt. And yet you loved her for being so stupid. And yet you loved all of them, despite being the greatest morons on the planet. They were your morons, and you were theirs.
“Do you want me to bring you a snack? Maybe some water? Wouldn’t want you to be too exhausted, after all.”
“No, it’s fine. I’m fine. But thank you.” Snuggling more closely into Phil, you slowly calmed down.
“Let’s get you to bed, shall we? Do you want me to carry you?” His voice was teasing, but you knew Phil would have carried you to bed if you said yes. It was tempting. Being in the arms of your strong commander sounded nice. But then again, a small snuggle pile with all four of them sounded ideal right about now as well.
You ended up heading to bed either way, surrounded by all four of them. Although they may not have joined you with sleeping immediately, making sure you were alright for the majority of the evening, they did eventually. You loved your boyfriends, your girlfriends and your partners. Although they were bastards, each and every single one of them, you could always count on them. On the battlefield as well as on base.
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i have twenty four pages left to typeset and i am So Close but So Bored
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arttsuka · 3 months
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So, please don't send me anymore asks right now, I don't think I'll be able to finish them 😢
I won't be home for the foreseeable future so I won't have most of my art supplies with me
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Yes all these, I can't just take them all :(
Btw I won't be closing the ask box or anything
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suncaptor · 4 months
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yeah this cannot go on i need to take something like my chest is exploding i can't calm down it's 7am i feel insane insane insaneeeee
#though I HAVE successfully testing that ldn gives me an insane amount of (anxious) energy when i'm on a 3-4mg dose but then i get foggy and#empty at 4-5mg i think#i'm not sure if i should go down to like 2 or try to find the window between#i wish i just had like. a year to get meds right and heallllll so badly#but i can't afford going all the way down and having more relapses#i feel like i'm having aheart attack rn it's so bad it's so acutely painful#and it's so weird bc it's so empty#too like last month i was so full of everything and especially uh attachment fear but now it's just like pain empty screaming pain#i think it's the not eating food enough thing#i mean I DID eat MANY crackers today. rolls eyes#not enough hhh#i know theres so much i have to get done but like ic annot do anything i can't even message anyone i can't i need to get sedated#i don't know if i should try having MORE ldn or ritalin (probably not bc it doesn't sedate me like adderall)#or just hydroxyzine or muscle relaxers#hydroxyzine is looking like the most likely option#bc i still associate muscle relaxers too much with trauma i can't take them they scare me#i feel like i'm dying#i don't think you guys get how fast i'm typing rn like i am going fucking insane if i die of a heart attack for real it would suck huh#no i KNOW this is panic i KNOWWWW i'm panicking but i also feel like i'm going to throw up and die forever it's so bad i feel so so bad lik#i don't think people get how bad everything is i need it to all calm down and stop i need it to get better i am not okay holy shit#you know what everything in my life might not feel fixable and i am letting all my professors down but I can probably take incompletes wors#comes to worst i need to take hydroxzyine sleep and then cave and buy some food tomorrow#like what's happening now i#there FEELS like there's a SHAARP HOOOK in my CHEST IMAPLING ME#if i sedate myself enough i might be able to communicate with people for real instead of burrowing my head into the ground forever and ever#yeah okay i'm taking hydroxzyine#i feel like the problem with antihistamines now after last year is [redcated]#trying to convinc emyself this is not a suicide attempt or self harm i just need to calm down hahahahafih;aeifahe;wifahewifae#that's what they're PRESCRIBED for#i think i want benadryl instead though bc it's shorter and it also makes me head clearer i wonder if i have any i think it's not here thoug
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raiiny-bay · 8 months
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unfortunately i'm obsessed with project zomboid again
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apocalypticdemon · 12 hours
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finally did my goddamn dishes. and that wasn't all i managed to do today. fuck yeah.
had a meeting for thesis prep. bmv trip. rough plan for friday's discussion lecture. cooked dinner for the first time in like 3 weeks. read ~50 pages of academic text for 2 classes and a paper revision.
feels like i didn't do enough but. considering that yesterday i managed... going to classes and nothing else! and monday i was only capable of doing the required meetings i had, this is a pretty good day!
#it's been. a tough few weeks. i couldn't focus at all last week. only got work done on the weekend. yesterday was........ tough.#monday wasn't as rough but was equally exhausting#so! proud of myself that i got. stuff done. big stuff even!#started keeping a task/reward journal to help out too :)#so every night i'll write out some tasks that need to get done the next day#and as i finish them i check them off and give myself silly little stickers to track what i managed!#so i get like. 1 sticker per 10 pages read (bc i usually need a break every 10 or so pages rn) 1 sticker in a diff color for chores.#1 for teaching stuff (laying out a lecture plan/finishing the lecture/doing a dry run/doing the lecture) 1 for meetings etc etc#it's helping bc i have a dumbass brain that doesn't give me dopamine for completing tasks anymore#it all gets lumped into 'yeah i did the bare minimum bc that's what i need to do. that's not special-#-no reward for you! you didn't really *do* anything. just scraped bare minimum!'#turns out that's bad for you lmao to get No Rewards#so i have a journal now! so i have hard proof that shows that i've Done Shit.#and i think the last two weeks i've been 1. underfed 2. overtired and 3. on the verge of burnout#so i haven't been able to do much. but a major stressor is gone now! (the bmv trip...)#and it like. immediately lifted a veil from my brain. 0-60 in like 40 minutes flat.#i hadn't realized how stressed about that i'd even been. it was taking up so much of my brain's metaphorical CPU.#so i'm hoping tomorrow i'll be able to do what i was doing two weeks ago. just plugging along at my usual pace#instead of just barely dragging my carcass forward#so! anyway. update that was unasked for but you sure are getting#i fuckin did stuff today! fuck yeah!#it is now an hour past my bedtime i'm gonna crash tf out. bedtime. sleepytime. good night
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danielnelsen · 11 days
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i know it’s just that i’ve started act 2 and im progressing a lot of the plot right now, but it does come across as very funny that astarion is establishing a committed relationship with me right after congratulating me on doing all these morally dubious gaining-dark-powers things
the actual reason was because i didn’t make him drink that woman’s blood, but our last few conversations have been ‘wow i see you’re embracing your darker side 👀… how about we talk about ‘us’ now’
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toytulini · 1 month
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its clean its fucking clean i cleaned it
#toy pic post#undescribed#40gal#then dad dismissed how much fucking effort it took whether intentionally or not and i got so angry cos i already was having to#outsource reward chemicals or whatever the fuck to chocolate covered pretzels and a soda#and i was so overwhelmed from exhaustion and overstimulated to be fucking graciously regulating my emotional responses to him saying#Stupid Shit that i just got so angry i had to sleep#but i was. really determined. to manuafacture some kinda fucking reward. so i played viddygame until i fell asleep#bc that seemed like it would be better for my brain than straight up rage napping#anyway. i will. attempt the 90gal tomorrow. todayrrow. im going to. get up and get a snack and then brush my teeth and go to bed for real#bc i just cant stop fucking Horse Sleeping. i guess#so close#still much to do. i have to do the 90 and put the plants back on top of the 40 but its already so much quieter in here#which is good for me not being driven insane by. the sound of my failure to do a task.#shit i still need to dose fertilizer as well. i will try to do that before i go back to sleep#but i was too fucking angry to be thinking about Ratios of Liquid without exploding so its good i didnt attempt it earlier probably#anyway.POSTIVES: ITS CLEAN. I CAN SEE IN THE TANK AGAIN. THE PLANTS I SHOVED IN THE TOP ARE GROWING CRAZY#EVEN IF THEYRE A BIT UGLY AND LEGGY. I DIDNT FIND ANY DEAD FISH. THE KUHLIS CONSTANTLY SWIMMING UNDER THE ALGAE SCRUBBER#WAS A LITTLE ANNOYING AND INCONVENIENT BUT ALSO. CUTE AND ENDEARING. I LOVE THE STUPID NOODLE ANIMALS#i got a lot done today even if it wasnt all i wanted and many of the tasks were tiny. it got the big fucking task done that was hanging ove#over my head for weeks and making me feel intensely guilty. and now its so QUIET. like the 90 is still loud sure! but its just One of them#now!#the fucking palpable relief
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