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salmonskinrolltf · 3 months

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Hey there. A little bit about me? I'm a tall, mostly attractive actor from Iowa now living in New York. My chest hair won't stop growing, and I'm always cast as the awkward, gay comic relief in shows. I guess that's why I'm here. It's silly but I've always had a crush on The Situation and most of the cast of the Jersey Shore. I was hoping to rent one of seasons before I have an audition for a more manly part I'm going in for.

[Thank you so much to everybody who submitted requests! I have nothing close to the bandwidth to get to all of them, so this is going to be my final Be Kind Rewind post for the time being. I’ve got so many other types of stories I’m excited to work on as soon as I’m able, but I do apologize if your request wasn’t selected! Here’s a bit of a long one though, as a finale.

This is a gay-to-straight story. If you’re not into that, feel free to keep scrolling, but I bet you'll like it anyway. Read my G2S ethos here.]

You eagerly rip open your Be Kind Rewind delivery and a die falls into your hand. Oh yeah, their weird promotion thing. You toss it on the coffee table, not noticing that it lands on 5. You’re too busy pulling out the Jersey Shore tape you ordered, excited to have access to one of your favorite guilty pleasures and use it as research for a particularly manly role you’re hoping to score, which could finally break you out of being typecast as awkward and effeminate.

As you push the tape into your TV’s built-in VCR (that you could have sworn wasn’t there when you bought it), you realize it’s already at the end credits, so you hit rewind. While you wait for the tape to be ready, you decide to run your lines some more.

“Hey baby, why don’t you bring that fine ass over here?” you say, cringing at how utterly wrong those words sound coming out of your mouth. You sound like a nervous pre-teen at a school dance, not the overconfident douchebag that the part requires.

You clear your throat and repeat the line, trying to artificially deepen your voice when you say it.

“Hey baby, why don’t you bring that fine ass over here?” you say, your throat tingling as it delivers the words in a perfectly sultry, slurred bass, with a hint of a New Jersey accent. Holy shit! You nailed it!

“Hell yeah, bro!” you shout, pumping your fist, too excited to notice the uncharacteristic slang you unconsciously used. You decide to see if you can replicate the voice for the other lines on your sides, and each word comes out perfectly.

“You’re looking fly, my man,” you say, dapping up an invisible buddy. Fuck yeah, that line sounded even more perfect than the last one! The deep tones of your voice echo through the empty room. You don’t even notice as the color leaches from your pants and they grow baggy and thin. However, you can’t help but be aware of the cold sensation slithering across the back of your neck, wrapping around the front to form a tight circle that feels like a necklace chain. A golden metal knot at the end of the loop seems to be stretching the circle with its weight, pulling it down toward your shirt collar.

It never makes it to your collar. The neckline of your shirt begins to scoop lower and lower as the knot progresses downward, the crew neck becoming a V, expanding into a deep V, and eventually stretching into a drooping U that leaves your shirt loose and baggy, practically exposing your nipples. The necklace and the shirt seem to be racing toward your navel, and the shirt wins. The necklace gives up somewhere around your chest, the knot unfurling into a golden cross that rests between your slightly toned pecs. Conversely, your shirt collar goes all the way down to the bottom, splitting the fabric in two as the color fades to black and the edges sprout rows of metallic teeth, becoming a zipper.

Now, you consider yourself plenty attractive, but you still feel self conscious and exposed with your entire torso hanging out, even if you’re completely at a loss to understand how this is even happening. You link the zipper together and pull on the tab, trying to cover yourself with the strange new garment that has appeared on your body. But something stops you from zipping up too far past your belly button. You suppose you’re subconsciously afraid of getting your hand anywhere near the magical necklace that suddenly appeared on you. Sure, that must be it.

However, thinking of the necklace makes you freak out a bit, so you decide to try and take it off. When you reach up to unclasp it, your fingers thrum with energy and you feel a sudden urge to keep rehearsing your lines. Yeah… Maybe the getup will help you embrace the character.

“When you look like I do, bro, you don’t gotta fuck with dating apps,” you say. Although you were still perturbed, this line also came out perfectly. You decide to lean into whatever strange thing is happening because, even if it’s fucked up, you’re definitely getting this part. In fact, you’re even starting to move like your character. You just scratched your chest by reaching under the hem of your hoodie and exposing a strip of your abdomen in the process.

You repeat the line, hooking your thumbs under the open part of your zipper, flaunting your chest. As the last word rings out in a perfect, reverberating tone, your chest swells with pride. No, wait, it’s just plain swelling. Your toned chest becomes downright swole, like someone has taken a bicycle pump to your pecs. Six bulging abs surface from your stomach beneath them, forming neat rows while your biceps and quads inflate to twice their previous size.

Although the hoodie now clings more tightly to your expanding mass, you can still see your belly button if you look down. That’s how you notice the tribal tattoo inking its way in a curlicue pattern around your navel, licks of inking flame forming the shape of the Sun. You chuckle deeply. Thinking about the solar system, you laugh at the fact that this tattoo makes it seem like the world revolves around your abs. Hell, you think, if you had abs like that, you’d probably agree. Wait a minute… For whatever reason, you DO have abs like that. Fuck…

You walk over to the mirror, admiring your new physique. You flex, enjoying how your muscles bulge, even through your clothes. You’re flooded with a surge of confidence and you rub your crotch, thinking about how hot you look.

A deep tan color emanates from the tattoo around your belly button, engulfing your old skin tone in an orangey brown, spreading over your legs, chest, back, and even face. You give a little smirk, embracing the newfound changes. You notice that the expression is one your face has never made before. It’s contemptuous, commanding.

You’re an actor. You need to hone your craft. You try out a few more expressions that you’ve seen on sleazy guys at bars. Condescending. Seductive. Proud. Angry. Each one looks completely new on your face, yet perfect, probably because your bone structure has been quietly shifting to give you high cheekbones and a sharp jaw.

You rub your bulging muscles one more time, annoyed by how much hair covers them. You’d have to wax at least once a week if you wanted to show off this definition properly. However, as you rub, there is less and less hair rustling between your fingers. You lift up your hands to see baby-smooth patches of skin beneath where they rested. Enthused, you scrub your hands up and down your body, the hair vanishing like marker from a dry-erase board. Once, you’re done, you admire your perfectly smooth and shiny figure.

However, that hair as has to go SOMEwhere, as it turns out. Your armpits, which were feeling more and more resistance as you moved your hands, are now bristling with jet black hair. You lift up one arm and give a tentative sniff, your nose flooding with a ripe musk. You try to swipe the hair away with your hand, but it won’t budge. You shrug. Nothing a little Axe body spray won’t fix.

That thought surprises you, because you’re pretty sure you use a different type of deodorant. However, you suddenly can’t remember the brand. And the mist of Axe floating around the room certainly suggests you use it all the time. Oh well. Chalk it up as one more weird thing about this afternoon.

The hair growth as clearly also affected the top of your head. Your hair is growing out into haphazard spikes that jut from the top of your head, forming tapered cones that begin to shine as if they’ve been coated in a year’s worth of gel.

You look… ridiculous? No. Douchey? No. Fucking hot? Hell yeah, bro.

You return to your script, fiddling with your hair to give it the perfect spiky muss at the back.

“Bros before hoes, dude! You know that!” It sounds like your character really believes that line as it comes out of your mouth. And why wouldn’t he? Hoes might be a good distraction for a night of fun, but bros are for life. Your memories of dancing the night away at gay clubs begin to morph. You’re still dancing with a group of men, but now they’re all spray-tanned, juiced-up Jersey Shore rejects rather than fashionable young gays. And you’re still rocking a half-chub in your memory, but it’s from watching a female go-go dancer shaking her moneymaker on a platform, rather than you grinding up against some cute twink or other.

You groan deeply as the memory tugs against the core of your identity. You look hot now, and you’re gonna get the role, but you don’t want to lose EVERYTHING. But it’s too late. It feels like your mind is expanding, but not in a Limitless kind of way. Instead, each individual thought you have becomes much, much bigger, taking up more brain space than it used to. Your memories of ex-boyfriends, Pride parades, and anything even remotely gay begin to circle the drain of your cerebellum, washed away by just a few base urges. Partying. Playing beach volleyball. Hitting on chicks.

You grab your script again to recite a few more lines, but the words start swimming in front of your face. It’s not that you can’t read. It’s just that, suddenly, reading is the last thing in the world you want to be doing. A sudden craving for beer pops into your head. It's the biggest thought yet. It shoves almost everything else out, and you drop the paper on the ground, where it vanishes into thin air while the room around you transforms into a beachside cabana.

You emerge into the dusty sunset of the Jersey Shore, admiring a few hot babes in bikinis who wander by while you make your way to the store. You lift up your shirt to show off your abs to a few of the hottest ones.

You pick up two six-packs of beer at the store and, why the fuck not, a pack of condoms, along with some other snacks and supplies. You decide to hit up the clothing store on the way back for some new threads, because your impulses are ruling you like never before. As you head to the checkout, you spot the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen. You almost drop your beer, she’s so hot. Your dick is already stiffening as you say, “Hey baby, why don’t you bring that fine ass over here?”

#gay to straight #douchebag #Jersey Shore #Roll the Die #Be Kind Rewind

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lizaluvsthis · 5 months

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Smg4: smg4 doesn't meme for 1 second

Mostly Gay Boys talk / and well lil bit of crew talk

SPOILER ALERT!

The crew convinced three to take four in for a therapy session. Tho that didnt solve his problems on complete brain rot with all of the memes.

Three did try his best to make him stay a bit focused on the topic they were meant to discuss with four's own meme problems.

And that didn't work-

- after smg4 was sent to meme rehab -

Everyone in the crew were sitting in the gaming room watching some tv, they were seen bored as ever without smg4.

Even just a small glimpse with each memeber entirely they've missed smg4 as well. He was their friend, their leader.

Shroomy came in with the mention of "among us" everyone- as in EVERYONE looked at where smg4 is supposed to be sitting at- reminded them the times when he would laugh at couple of meme jokes.

It is pretty much saddened by the crew how worse it could be in a day without smg4 is by at their side could make them feel miserable.

Then Meggy mentioned about missing smg4...

You know who responded to that?

Three himself...

"Yeah...like, if... er... smg4's stupid humor... like actually... made our lives more exciting...and we didn't like... realize it or something?"

"We're going over to that facility... to get SMG4 back!"

Smg3 was the one who knocked the door, he wanted him to come back. Even the crew also needs smg4 back because he wasn't just any other leader. He was already part of them as well.

They could all tell so, even for smg3 too.

Smg3's character development has taken him way more better to where he'd come far off being the evil villain he used to be before then coming to how much important he chose his own path.

"Hi, how are you" gave them the shock on their faces. Like they felt it was already too late to take back the treatment he was given while he was away.

"Woah smg4! Look at the phone! Wow, sk---di! Yeah you like this! Wooh! Sk---di t--l-t! Hehe. Stinky, woaaaaahh!" ★(I had to censor this because I hate reading nor hearing [REDACTED])

Smg3 attempted to try and brighten out his mood. Gave it a chance who mightve thought would work, giving him those meme moments that definitely would make him laugh.

But three didnt even know he wasnt even sure- if he even liked sk---di t--l-t.

Last time we know is that four almost lost his sh-t during that one cintent farm episode, he cringed to the part of mentioning this kind of brain rot.

But now that his mind is not any other that he'd act at all, smg4 became the normal. The person he wasnt supposed to be. Who SHOULDNT be.

"What is... a meme..."

Everyone didnt want to lose smg4's senses, they didnt want his own person to disappear SO. they went inside the lab to get back his uhh... meme... thing-

Then- yeah he did-

Some of their eyes were relaxed but still worrying for him, while tari and smg3's eyes were a bit widened in shock. (Three was more widened than tari btw)

This indicates that three may have grew tons of roots being there for smg4 as well. That their friendship they both have planted is far beyond than just "sticking" to the sides.

Now that Four is back in his senses, everyone joined in including smg3 to do the... t pose? Whatever it's called.

Three was so happy- to finally get him back- speaking of having the role as a tritagonist, he really mustve took way more care and tells how important he already is to him. Even as a friend.

Honestly the hosts here who've completely have done much was Meggy and Three. Well- mostly three since he'd been convincing the crew to not give up or regret the choices made.

He LITERALLY told them that they need to get him BACK.

And everyone did understood.

So- tell me- PLEASE THEY BOTH HAVE TO BE CANON ALREADY THERE IS JUST NO WAY YOU'RE MISSING A 'HOMIE' FOR THAT-

Mark my words they have to be- (if they dont become canon in wotfi 2024 i will cry and die)

There is literally no way you guys look at each other like that. Stare for atleast SIX MORE SECONDS. (/referring to Puzzlevision movie when FOUR HAD BEEN STARING AT THREE)

and then caring for one another so emotionally like- mate- THATS FRUITY ALREADY- ENOUGH- WITH THE "FRIENDS" WHERE IS THE "BOY" AND "FRIEND"??????

I cant- I cannot- thats how badly they both need each other and slow burn is just- literally... uuuuuurugghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

They both mightve had the longest slowburn i have EVER seen in the sun and moon shipping history/silly

This mostly takes alot of time (judging by like lumity or catradora)

But i wouldnt mind with this also- its- well- kind of almost there but not yet...?

#lizafixates #smg4 #smg34 #smg3 #smg4 smg3 #smg4 crew

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nondelphic · 16 days

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i rarely talk about my own writing here (except for general posts) but i HAVE to share my favourite one-liners from one of my comedy writing projects. and they all come from the same person, ivy, aka an ai assistant who is accidentally conjured into the real world:

"I'm going to uninstall myself." (A/N: ivy's version of wanting to die)

"How are you a fully grown man with the dating instincts of a 14-year-old fangirl?"

"Oh, don’t mind me—I’m just the walking, talking embodiment of Ben’s late-night anime marathons. There’s nothing wrong with being a weeb, but there’s everything wrong with being Ben."

"I diagnose you with small brain."

"Ben, considering you’re now fully out and embracing your true self, I have to ask: are you trying to dress like a straight dad, or is that just how you naturally gravitate?"

"Calculating how little I care… wow, that’s a new record."

"Oh, sure, give me flawless skin and hair so perfect it probably breaks the laws of physics, but then slap me in a hoodie and jeans? Genius. Really. I’m like a Ferrari with a bumper sticker that says ‘Keep calm and check out my car.”'

"This hoodie? Yeah, it’s always this clean. Thanks to my 'Hygiene.exe' program—something Ben could really use."

"Ah, the skin? That’s ‘Ultra High Definition, 4K, Zero Pores’ mode. You’d be amazed at what a few coding shortcuts can do."

"It’s a miracle I haven’t short-circuited from secondhand embarrassment."

"Ah yes, the classic ‘accidentally look too long at a cute guy’ moment, followed by two hours of gay panic. You’re like a living, breathing Tumblr meme from 2014."

"You know, Ben’s social skills could use some serious upgrading. Too bad he spent all his ‘talking to people’ points on leveling up his ‘awkward small talk’ skill."

"Oh, yeah, that’s smart. Just fall flat on your face in the middle of the street—you can’t park there, mate."

"This face says ‘magical girl warrior,’ but this outfit? This outfit says ‘I’ve given up on life, but at least I’m comfy.’ It’s like you installed the deluxe skin pack and forgot to update my wardrobe. Priorities, Ben."

She rolls her eyes one last time. "Ugh, you’re getting sentimental. Cringe."

"Wait, let me rephrase that. I have come to the conclusion that you, with 99.9% certainty, have chronic gay.”

"You know, if I were writing a user manual for you, the troubleshooting section would just say ‘Ben tends to freak out when things don’t go perfectly.’ Fix: Turn off and back on again. Repeat as necessary."

#writeblr #nondelphic #comedy writers #comedy #writing #one liners #funny #funny quotes

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delusionalwriter02 · 6 months

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if you're still doing the insta as ... gf series for bsd, can you please write it for either Gin or Kouyou

if not that's totally fine

I hope you have a good day (love the series)

Insta as Gin's GF

a/n : I LOVE Gin with my whole heart and I truly headcanon her being the QUEEN of sarcasm, hope you like it<3

<3 liked by Gintonic, Akutagawa and 574 others.

Yn_theoneandonly : my sweet girl @.Gintonic

Yosanurgirl : she's such a stray cat in need of love

↳ Gintonic : what did you just say 🤨

↳ Yosanurgirl : nothing babe

↳ Ranthebestpo : you're the stray cat

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : cmon children don't start

↳ Yosanurgirl : girls tonight I wanna go to this club that just opened, want to join me ?

↳ Gintonic : don't ask me twice

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : i'm in

↳ Daze_i : me too 🤗

↳ Yosanurgirl : since when are you a girl ?

↳ Daze_i : I can protect you

↳ Chu_uya : coming too

↳ Yosanurgirl : fuck it

<3 liked by Yn_theoneandonly, Yosanurgirl and 329 others.

Gintonic : vip table 🥰

Yn_theoneandonly : don't forget the big scary dog privilege

↳ Daze_i : see ? it was a great idea to join

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : was talking about Gin...

↳ Daze_i : well, imma act like I never read that

FukuZAWA : you ate that up

↳ Ranthebestpo : LMFAO WHAT ??????

↳ KunikiDA : Boss ????????????????

↳ Yosanurgirl : I've just spat out ALL MY DAMN WATER

↳ Gintonic : babe @.Yn_theoneandonly your father learned how to use insta

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : went private

↳ Gintonic : healthy reaction

↳ FukuZAWA : ate and left no crumbs

↳ Daze_i : FOR THE LOVE OF ME STOP IT BOSS

↳ Ranthebestpo : it's not him, I refuse to believe it's him, Katai did something

<3 liked by Gintonic, Daze_i and 527 others.

Yn_theoneandonly : I found love, where it wasn't supposed to be

Akutagawa : that's gay

↳ Gintonic : wow thanks bro for describing my relationship, that's an act of pure intelligence and great reflexion, i'm so proud of you

↳ Akutagawa : no I wasn't talking about the photo, was talking about the quote

↳ Gintonic : just keep that stupid mouth of yours shut and you'll be fine

↳ Akutagawa : I can't tell you anything

↳ Gintonic : next time you wish to speak, think about it. redo the sentence AT LEAST 50 time in your head and if you think it's intelligent, stay quiet

↳ Yosanurgirl : ate that

Gintonic : I love you my little goblin

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : me too sweetgremlins

↳ Yosanurgirl : I LIVE for this type of cringe

↳ Gintonic : imma dismember you

<3 liked by Atsushiii, Ranthebestpo and 420 others.

Daze_i : they lost a bet @.Gintonic @.Yn_theoneandonly

Chu_uya : Gin you look atrocious

↳ Gintonic : run.

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : Dear Chuuya, I'm writing this message to say goodbye. You are indeed going to die. So I'd like to ask you to put me in your will, please. I promise to take care of your hat, not to curse your grave and to empty your bank account. Kiss

↳ Daze_i : HEY NO I'M THE HEIR

↳ Ranthebestpo : In what world are you his heir ?

↳ Daze_i : in every damn one, I'M THE ONE WHO ADOPTED HIM

↳ Yosanurgirl : 🤓☝️ actually this is not true

Gintonic : sweetgoblin @.Yn_theoneandonly, i may be late for our date, wait for me, the bastard runs fast

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : don't worry gremlins, i'll wait, want me to ask Dazai for help ?

↳ Gintonic : Higuchi is already here, i'll be fine

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : the feeling of soon-to-be-rich is exquisite

↳ Gintonic : i know 🥰

<3 liked by Gintonc, Yosanurgirl and 926 others.

Yn_theoneandonly : my gf is prettier than you

Yosanurgirl : I supposed Chuuya paid for everything ?

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : you're so clever !!!!

↳ Yosanurgirl : what happened ?

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : never underestimate Gin's stamina for a start, then Chuuya made a deal to..... not die, he pays for all our expenses for 1 month

↳ Yosanurgirl : @.Chu_uya can you insult me ?

↳ Chu_uya : I keep my fucking mouth shut now

↳ Gintonic : one time thing, sorry love

↳ Atsushiii : @.Akutagawa I swear Gin is scarier than you

↳ Daze_i : not hard to do

↳ Akutagawa : I stopped trying to understand her a while ago, you know.

FukuZAWA : girlboss

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : Boss if you love me please stop

↳ KunikiDA : KATAI STOP IT

↳ Yosanurgirl : it's Katai ?

↳ KunikiDA : Yes.

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : oh... it makes sense now

↳ Daze_i : I am disappointed

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : why ?

↳ Daze_i : thought the old man had finally loosened up

↳ Ranthebestpo : WELL IM GLAD HE DIDNT

Hey!!! I hope you liked it ? I had SO MUCH fun writing this, it's been a while since the last "insta as" and it feels soooo good to be finally back

with love <3

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dead-by-mending · 10 months

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Legion members and what they think of each survivor

The title says it all. Once again, feedback would be appreciated

Dwight : Frank, Julie and Joey straight up think he's pathetic (they're just annoyed that he keeps hiding in lockers), while Susie just thinks he's trying, but not enough

Meg : While the others don't care about her, Frank and Susie actually like her. Frank because since she's a sprinter, she actually gives him a bit of a challenge and he likes that, and Susie... because she's cute and has a nice mask ?

Claudette : They're just so annoyed with how many times she was hiding right under their noses all the time, but Joey still kinda feels bad for her, especially after he learned about her social awkwardness, as he was like that sometime (he also thinks she's cute but won't admit it)

Jake : They hate Saboteur with a burning passion, so they have to hate the one who brought it, right ? Well actually no, Frank and Julie think he's kinda cool, living alone in the forest. That's the kind of life they would have prefered to Ormond

Nea : She's pretty much a bitch to every killer, trying to piss them off as much as she can thinking she can run them for hours (and it usually doesn't work). Too bad for her, the Legion is EXACTLY about that, so they love her attitude. Julie secretly wishes she could be friends with her

Laurie : Obviously they're always excited about the idea that they can stab the most iconic final girl herself, especially Frank and Julie. They used to hate DS, but since its nerf, not so much...

Ace : While they can get probably as cocky as him, they just can't stand that guy. Susie finds the grin he has in the lobby extra creepy

Bill : They don't understand how this old man can keep up. Then he looked cooler when they learned he did Vietnam and was shooting up zombies before diying and getting taken by the Entity

Feng Min : Susie is the only one to tolerate her, the others think she's just ultra annoying, like Nea but worse. She shouldn't have called them cringe, because now they keep calling her like that (even tho they don't know what it means)

David : They don't really care about him, and even less about him being gay (or anyone's sexuality or ethnicity, they just stab everyone the same). But once he tried to punch Frank in the face, and now he makes it personal every single trial where he faces him

Quentin : They don't know why, but they like this gremlin, especially Frank. They think he's funny when he just falls asleep at some random moment (because yes, it happens sometimes)

Tapp : If you're familiar with what the Legion was doing before killing, then you can guess they're not fond of law enforcement, including cops like Tapp. They prefer causing mayhem everywhere

Kate : Frank's soulmate (I will die on this hill). When they're in a trial together, he doesn't want to hurt her, but she doesn't the Entity to get displeased at him because of that... Meanwhile, the others don't care about her (not even Julie, she moved on so she couldn't care less)

Adam : What I said earlier about Legion and law enforcement also goes for education. So you can guess that they don't really like Adam either. However they have a bit of respect for him for sacrificing himself to save a girl in the train crash that got him here

Jeff : Their old pal from high school. None of them recognized him at first, because he had grown up, but once they did, they were kinda happy to see him. They try to let him live as much as possible (especially Susie)

Jane : Joey and Susie see her differently : he sees a thicc latina that's exactly his type, she sees what Jane is trying to be, a body positivity icon, as Susie is a bit chubby herself and got bullied for that... Meanwhile, Frank and Julie couldn't care less

Ash : Frank was in shambles when he saw Ash for the first time in a trial, as he's a big Evil Dead fan. He was kinda disappointed to see him without his chainsaw or boomstick though, he was hoping he could steal those

Steve : Their opinion on him evolved just like he did in the show : they saw him as an annoying douche at first, then started to like him for getting cooler

Nancy : At first they thought she would be boring. They quickly realized how wrong they were, especially Julie. Now they're either afraid or excited that she could bring guns in trials

Jonathan : Who ? No seriously they almost never see him, which is a shame because his music taste would surely fit some of the Legion members

Yui : They all think she's kinda cool. I mean, I don't know if you've seen a champion biker girl not being cool, but honestly, I never saw that happen

Zarina : Curiosity killed the cat, like they say. They wouldn't like her to search into their lives, especially Frank and Julie who made some "special recordings" of themselves...

Cheryl : They thought she was kinda cool at first, but now they're afraid of her, ever since they learned about how she killed a literal god, after giving birth to it (man Silent Hill's lore is confusing)

Cybil : Just like with Tapp, they like to show her their opinion on law enforcement... And let's just say it doesn't always end well...

Lisa : Frank always had a nurse fetish, so before starting to date Kate, he was really enjoying a trial against Lisa... Now he just asks Kate to wear a nurse outfit when they're alone...

James : At first they just found him weird because of his attitude. Then they thought he was creepy because they learned about Mary and how it created Pyramid Head. And now they hate him because he's basically the reason Midwich exists and they'll never forgive him for that (me neither)

Maria : She just kinda exist ? Just like Jonathan, they very rarely see her

Felix : Frank and Joey were just a bit jealous of his good looks. Frank still does, but now Joey feels bad about him because he got taken while his girlfriend was pregnant, meaning he has a child but may never see them ever...

Elodie : Julie likes her independent spirit and taste for adventure. But she and the other Legion members hate Power Struggle so much. No, they don't hate her because she's French, Canadians and Frenchs are bros

Yun-jin : A girl that's stylish and independent ? That's exactly the kind of girl Julie would like to be friends with. Too bad they don't have the same music taste and that one has to kill the other, otherwise they'd get along so well

Jill : Frank and Joey knew her from the og RE1, so they almost didn't recognize her (since it's her RE3 remake version). Also, they hate Blast mine so freaking much

Leon : No one knew him because the og RE2 came out after they were taken by the Entity. They soon learned that he could either be a nice dude to hang out with or literally the worst person to mess up with. Also they think Flashbang is funny (except when it actually works)

Claire : Same as Leon, but they can't take her really seriously

Chris : They just hate him because he always tries to punch them (and every other killer). He's just stupid

Mikaela : They found boons annoying at first, but now they mostly don't care. They find it dope to have a literal witch in the realm anyway. And let's just say her leather pants fashion didn't get unnoticed...

Jonah : It's not a good idea to have a CIA operative who loves math with a bunch of math haters... But not so much if said CIA operative committed war crimes...

Yoichi : They only knew his kid version from the original Ringu movie, so it felt weird for them to see him as an adult. And they don't like him so much since he's a teacher

Haddie : She's just kinda weird according to them, with her visions and all... But that's still kinda cool

Ada : Frank and Joey honestly were really interested in her...until they learned about Leon's feeling for her, they stopped having those thoughts. Professionals have standards

Rebecca : Frank thinks she's maybe just as sweet as Kate. But obviously not as beautiful

Carlos : An actual mercenary ? That's just really cool

Sheva : Apart from Joey, who seems to have a type, they don't really care about her. Sure, she's a military, that's cool, but that's it

Vittorio : They were kinda surprised to see a dude from the Middle Age here, and they got an existential crisis wondering if they were going to live that long or more in the Entity's realm...

Thalyta and Renato : Twin survivors ? Sure, why not ? Apparently Thalyta goes into Joey's type, and Renato seems really relatable to Susie for some reason...

Gabriel : They wish they could find him cool because of the fact that he's a clone but one thing stands in the way : MADE FOR THIS

Nicolas Cage : I could literally sum up their reaction with "What in the actual fu-". Seriously everyone was extremly surprised to see Nic fucking Cage arriving to the Entity's realm. And with his perks being overall so funny

Ripley : Frank loved the Alien movies, so seeing Ripley here was just so dope

(Sorry if it took so long, school was taking a lot of my time. That's also why some of the recent parts are short, I wanted to finish this quickly)

#dbd #dbd legion #frank morrison #julie kostenko #susie lavoie #dbd joey #dbd survivor #dbd headcanons

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lazyrezi · 1 month

Text

Tj klune books ranked by me based on pure vibes, re-read potential, angst to humor ratio and MY OBJECTIVELY CORRECT OPINION:

Tales of Verania - LISTEN! LISTEN!!! These books are insane and I don't even know if I mean it in a good way tbh. The characters are all on crack. It's both corny (HAH if you know you know) and raunchy. YES the humour is a bit out there and sometimes the sex scenes/jokes are almost too much for my virgin eyes. Are these books "good"? You're asking the wrong question! They're fun and you WILL have fun reading them!!! It's very self-aware, tongue in cheek also sometimes a little too cheesy for my liking.

Oh, also, there are lesbian and emo dragons and magic and monologuing villains and a prophecy because OF COURSE THERE IS. These books will not change your life, but they will make you laugh and maybe cringe and feel. I am thinking about rereading it for the vibes. 10/10 would recommend BUT ONLY if you can get silly with it!!! No doom and gloom!!! (Okay, maybe a little doom and gloom....)

Green creek - ANGST. WEREWOLVES. GAY POSSESIVE WEREWOLVES. FOUND FAMILY

(weird age gap relationships I'm so sorry I hate it too and I hate how easy it would have been to just not do that but oh well)

MORE ANGST.

It's been a minute since I have read these books but oh boy they had me in a chokehold for MONTHS. Full disclaimer I have not read the last book AND STILL I am fully confident in recommending these books.

Ngl there is more weird shit in these books than I care to list. IT DOESN'T MATTER. If the tales of verania characters are on crack then these ones are living in a straight up soap opera. People leave. They hold grudges. THEY HAVE AMNESIA? They have enemies as well. Buildings blow up, people die ohymgod the melodrama never ends and. That is. SO FUN. albeit a different kind of fun but still. Fun times all around. I have finished reading these books and immediately reread them which should tell you everything you need to know. 10000/10

The extraordinaries - imagine you're watching a movie where a scene is coming up that just gives you THE WORST second hand embarrassment - now imagine it isn't a scene in a movie, it's three books and it's every page of all three books. Just sheer unadulterated second hand embarrassment.

Now if you look inside yourself you might find that your feelings are misplaced. The main guy isn't embarrassed and neither should you be! Life is all about falling on your ass and making an idiot out of yourself in the process and it's okay! It's okay. At least that's what I kept telling myself while reading these books.

No, but in all seriousness. These books are good fun. The greatest thing about tj klune is that he will take ANY theme and make it gay. We have gay superheroes. Gay werewolves. Gay magical beings. Gay ghosts! I as someone who regularly wonders why the media I am consuming isn't more gay, am a fan. I want him to do it all. Gay cowboys! Gay astronauts! GIMME IT.

These books I will not reread because I fear I might just die from the second hand embarrassment. It's so bad. But! It's also good! Educational fun. Wholesome love. Some minimal melodrama. 7/10

Oookay. Time for the stand alone books!

The house in the cerulean sea - okay don't hate me but this ain't my favourite. It's everyone else's tho! So I'm sure there is something to it. I think this is what you think of first when you hear tj klune - everyone knows this one, everyone loves it. It's like the popular kid in school. I, as a stubborn contrarian cannot abide this.

Still there is a lot going for this one. It takes you on a journey in a way a book should. And I personally love old gays being in big gay love so I can't complain.

But I will nonetheless.

So the thing about this book is that it's very innocent. And there isn't much angst just a minor misunderstanding that is pretty much quickly resolved. The big confrontation at the end is also quickly squashed by *checks notes* people talking to each other? I mean. It's nice! I would like it to work like that irl. In stories however.... I like a little more angst and anguish personally. There are also a lot of kid characters in this one which is FINE tj klune is actually pretty good at writing kids realistically (even special magical kids) but it's just not for me. I say that but I will be buying the sequel next month so jokes on me. The whole book was just a little too on the nose for my liking but it's still a very cosy read. Also someone pointed this out but WHY is this book so British? None of his other books are set in Britain and this one is set in a magical world so what's up with that?

Despite all my complaints I have reread this book twice. I don't know either. 8/10

In the lives of puppets - first tj klune book I have ever read and seeing as I have since then read everything written by this man I think you know this one is a good one. IT'S SO GOOD. It has everything!! Robots. Found family (families always find each other in tj klune stories). Asexual main guy. ROAD TRIP. Wholesome fun and existential crises for the price of one! 9/10 docked a point only because I don't think I'll be rereading it again. Also the romance was a bit weird BUT! It did grow on me. Like mould.

Under the whispering door - you would think this one would be an easy 10/10. Doomed love story (also gay 'cause of course it's gay), lessons about redeeming yourself, coffee shop and ghosts and and. Honestly it's been a minute since I've read this one. But what I remember is the ending.

Call me pessimistic but I don't think love should bring you back from the dead SORRY. IMMA SAY IT. Main guy should have stayed dead! Think like "the love was there, it didn't save anyone but it was there" vibes. Expect! Here it did save someone! Ridiculous concept! I buy ghost dogs but I WILL draw the line at being brought back from the dead. (The dog isn't brought back in case you're wondering). And it's such a shame because I really like the themes about death and redeeming yourself and it has such good potential! Unfortunately it suffers a serious case of not-working-for-me. Listen can I explain to you why this book didn't hit the same as the rest? Noo. All I know is that I read this book and immediately forgot about it. And unlike the house in the cerulean sea it looks like so did everyone else. Seriously tho. Anyone a big fan of this one? 6/10.

#books #thoughts #thoughts about books #tj klune #tales of verania #green creek #the extraordinaries #the house in the cerulean sea #under the whispering door #in the lives of puppets

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purretty-purrincess · 29 days

Text

:33 < hey chat

i was gna rant abt smt thats been eating me alive for the past like week but i forgot so. have some art

bold is speech, italics are anything else

top to bottom, right to left, writing says

the girls are fighting!!.. oh no. it appears ive been mistaken.. theyre.. gods.. they were.. no, i shant say

NEW PAGE

WH3N 1 S4Y G4M3, YOU S4Y G1RL! G4M3! gurl! G4M3! girl! whrn i say best in, u say tha world! best in! TH3 WORLD! best in! TH3 WORLD!

what? ? y9ure laughing. what. no? yes, y9u are. what at? your shirt. its.. its what? fag means amazing pers9n, d9es it n9t? ..nah. youre right, it does

men. men.

your eyes.. are an ocean. your tits.. are also an ocean

TRIGGER ALERT!!

NEW PAGE

what the fuck does a denizen look like

girl im at my denizens place but shes scary,, what the fuck do i even do??

DD: < GPRL WHAR!!! GET OUT OF THERE

man.. do i GOTTA die to go god tier??

-__- < YES BITCH!!

:(.. can i at least get a-

DX < NO!!!

sburb outfit + communication device

NEW PAGE

(idk some gay shit)

chat is this rizz?

what?

chat is he being zesty rn?

what- whos chat?

is he dumb chat?

dirk, please!

<- accused of being a witch

WHAT!? BUT IM A MAN!

. . .

nuh uh

OW WHAT THE FUCK. <- period cramps

<- he let gamzee do his makeup

no way bottom surgery

woah top AND bottom surgery!!!

holy shit bottom surgery

guys? guys whyd it give me breasts? & ehy is my dick gone? wh- guys? dont laugh im being serious!.. whats a transfem?

sp how do yuo like yr hair :)

NEW PAGE

thats awesome man. SHUTUPSHUTUP I DONT CAREE OH MY GOD

sillt dogwolf girl!! living the therian dream

FUCKING BITCH ASS PUSSY KEEP RUNNING YOUR MOUTH AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU I FUCKING DARE YOU!!!

NEW DRAWING

no notes or speech

NEW DRAWING

grimdorks :3

2nd best best kid!!

Ermmm, ackshully!

imagine it being yr 13th birthday and you download a game, die, and become god in one day

v theyre in the elevator to go get food . also they have a healthier dynamic now

hey bro do u have a v

no. valentines r for dorks

oh. kay

later

cal.. will you marry m

BANG!

yo bro we forgot the WOAH whats going on here

out. get out of my room. this was a private moment

do it. put me in the microwave, pussy. put your bro in the lil cal microwave. i dare you. put me in there. co CAL MICROWAVE k burger bro. i d CAL MICROWAVE t. youre too scared. to CAL MICROWAVE just cook me. you COUNTER plenty. but COUNTER ? am i not good enough of a burger

NEW DRAWING

v helping dirk sendificate his head

cal? cal why were your eyes open? are you cheating? do you hate me? cal why are you smiling? cal please

my boyfriend. his name is cal

ohh i fucked up in raising him

yap yap yap

DAMNN shut up

i 🤍 giving dirk piercings

ngl dome of this us cringe now tyat im reading ut again bur whatevss

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gontagokuhara · 17 days

Note

Ibuki Asker has returned with a question that is Definitely not related to the plot of the fic in any way concievable.. does the world of Pointy Objects have their own version of Lore Olympus?? if so are any of the gods Aware of it.. Toko is the god of knowledge (if i remember right) so does that mean she would have to know?? that kinda leads into another question ive had but I’ll ask that later.. i think it would be very funny if Toko is just. forced to know everything about this story which most definitely mischaracters all of the gods and considering how messy all of their relationships seem to be with each other i would Love to see how they would be written by someone who knows basically Nothing about the Current Day Drama and instead only knows like. a Handful of old stories about them

this ask ended up being way longer than i thought it would be but i think it would be so funny .. also the new chapter is So Good oh my good i cant wait for the next one 💕💞

LMFAOOOOOOOOO

imagine my face getting this ask, going “ibuki anon!!”, opening google to identify i reference i don’t immediately recognize and getting violently reminded of the existence of lore olympus

this is making me giggle actually. i have 0 cultural awareness of lore olympus and only know it from the #Haters but that’s enough for me to get silly OKAY

in pointy objects chihiro is the goddess of knowledge, and touko is the goddess of literature. however this distinction changes nothing about the premise of touko being forced to just Have and Live With the knowledge of any existing LO parallel within the pointy objects universe. i think some funny highlights of this (before syo goddess of wrath tracks the author down and puts them down for being too cringe) would include:

- relationships among the gods are presented as MUCH more heterosexual than reality. and it’s freak shit too. ooc izuru/junko dynamic throws hajime in there as some toxic hatefuck polycule when the two of them would both rather die. kazuichi and sonia’s “coparenting kiibo” drama gets turned into sexual tension when sonia blocked his number well before she ever kidnapped adopted kiibo. despite having comparable strength and potential for destruction as the rest of the big five, makoto gets woobified BAD.

- when gay couples Are represented they’re all bad lmfao. byakuya & mondo respectively abusing poor sweet innocent easily-manipulated makoto and taka (<- as if everyone doesn’t know it’s makoto and taka that are dogwalking byakuya + mondo 99% of the time). junmikan and sayakan depictions are fanservice bait and gross while other Observably Non-Abusive lesbian relationships are downsized to the background.

- fuck it. po!universe lore olympus equivalent is secretly ghostwritten by junko feeding delusions to an opportunist web artist. acting out all of her fantasies and doing things she knows will piss the others off. the rest of the big five are presented as her doting harem and her rivalry with makoto VASTLY overestimates the reciprocation of junko’s fixation and sexual tension. probably chooses someone she knows will do a dogshit job on purpose tbh that’s funny as fuck

- angie draws fanart once and hajime considers putting his head through a wall while nagito shakily compliments her artistic talents through gritted teeth. supportive dads at all costs (even if hajime has to ritualistically burn miu and kokichi’s [ironically] and kiibo’s [unironically] smuggled in copies)

#ask #anon #pointy objects #teehee this was silly and fun. always love to examine the gods dynamics even through a dumb lens <3 #smooches u on the forehead ibuki asker anon (<- shall i go back and give you your own tag?)

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oc-aita · 8 months

Note

AITA for doing the right thing for the wrong reasons? (TIME SENSITIVE)

hi sorry for typos i’m tryping this while having a mental break in my dead friend’s bedroom in the middle of the night while my alive friend is asleep but!! my evil evil dad gave us till february 3rd to settle this so i don’t have much time

none of you will know this cause he’s been real sneaky about it but this year my (M16) dad (M36) took over reality and insterstated his own cringe utopia over it. he brought dead ppl back to life (not my dead friend tho) amd he brainwashed every bad person into being a good person, he abolished the prison system and made gay marriage legal and now the economy’s real good ig??? (idk anything about the economy but ok) everywhere you go there’s happy ppl everywhere and it creeps me out

ugh i’m doing such a crappy job at explaining why this is a bad thing. i SWEAR he’s doing it to spite me cause he knows no one will ever believe me fml

we just found out he literally brainwashed my alive friend (ig i’m calling her that now. F16) into thinking she was my dead friend (her twin sister) so she pretended to be her for a YEAR cause he thought that would make her “happy” i guess?? i’m telling you he’s CRAZY. sorry that word stimatagzes mental illness. i mean he’s seriously bonker balls.

you HAVE to trust me. this man has been living wth me for fifteen years and he doesn’t even know what’s good for ME so how would he know what’s good for the world?

so my friends and i agreed to fight him so everything goes back to normal. and they all made such good points talking abt why this is important to them, cause they want freedom to learn and grow and decide their own futures, and they don’t wanna forget the work they did to get where they are now and obvs i agree w all of that stuff but i feel so stupid cause this is my dad and idk--

he already abandoned my mom and now he’s abandoning me too? he even made my friends’ wishes come true but he didn’t do anything for me. i’m his son but i’m like the only person in the world whose happiness he doesn’t care about. idk what did i ever do to him. i hate him so much dad if you’re reading this i hate you no matter what happens

wow it’s embarrassing. everyone’s got these grand ideological reasons to fight him but all i can think about is how i don’t wanna be the child who has to suffer so everyone else gets to be happy. the only one who’s as pissed as i am is this guy who’s llike our team’s sasuke who is infamous for wanting to kill many dads (M18) and he says we should kill my dad. but obviously i don’t wanna do that. i did all of this so i wouldn’t have to lose family ever again and now i’m feel like i’n abpt to lose him forever. i know things can get better for us but we’ll nevr have the chance if he dies yknow?

anyways i always had such a hard time controlling my emotions and i’m scared i’m letting my emotions get the best of me again cause if i really cared abt this i’d be willing to do whatever it takes to make things right yknow? but i don’t want my dad to die. so maybe i AM being selfish. maybe ppl really ARE happy and i’m just being paranoid and irrational like everyone said i was. maybe we should be putting this up to a vote, idk

please give it to me straight (cause i’m not!!!! LMAO),

AITA?

#aita #am i the asshole #original character #unreality tw #ask to tw #mod butterfly #violence tw #murder tw

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earthgrudgefear · 8 months

Note

sasuke

saaasuukkkeeeee hmmmm

i love sasuke but i don't have a lot of big words to say about him

favorite thing about them: MAJOR respect for him learning what konoha did to his family and immediately deciding "i'm going to destroy it" so true of him

least favorite thing about him: i kind of sort of Do cringe when i think about his speech to orochimaru when he kills him. like. he's already 70% dead you think this sounds cool?

favorite line: not a specific line but whenever he just aggressively shoots someone down. the "you're annoying"s and the "am i supposed to care?"s and the "get lost"s

brOTP: god it'd be nice if he could Actually be friends with sakura. everything was so messy with them. and then sai too for sure, y'know. have to complete the team.

OTP: i did not walk away from two hundred something hours of that show WITHOUT shipping sasuke and naruto. i don't know WHAT exactly they are trying to sell but i have eyes and i Can see the truth

nOTP: can i level with you guys. if it's not naruto it's no one. they're all nOTPs

random headcanon: i might be taking this idea from someone but i can't remember. i'm gonna say he's surprisingly good at cooking, like sure he lived alone and didn't survive on cup noodle, but i feel like even when he was small he had a knack for it. maybe he helped his mom and got familiar with it. there's that entire OVA of itachi cooking eggs i bet if sasuke took over they'd be perfect first try

unpopular opinion: it's not unpopular in these circles but that boy is GAY and there are WAY too many people convinced he isn't. HOW.

song i associate with them: i looked through more than a hundred songs and i have ✨Nothing✨ that i feel good about

favorite picture of them: i like pictures where he looks like a carbon copy of mikoto and i like pictures where he smiles :) bonus points if both but somehow i can't find any so Guess i'll Die

?????

#♖ asks #sasuke uchiha

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borathae · 3 months

Note

Chapter 32

you know, i almost always feel shocked after seeing the warnings like SEX?? THIS FAST? we just had an "insert how the previous chapter ended" moment and we are going to fuck? lets go??? lets fucking goooo and then the smut comes and nothing is out of place. it fits like a glove, like my glasses on my nose. how do u do that? hell, only a few paragraphs in and the mood is set better than dinner table on a holiday

where is yoongi? oh he is in sitting room. WE ARE DRINKING TOGETHER YAY. i can feel the atmosphere, vibe and the rooms so well. felt like i was visiting my house these days and now im back to live in this universe again

“You actually came” you called

…I was too scared of it, so I didn’t ask.” yeah the emotions were something else

“Huh, well what a pleasant surprise, I was sure that this conversation would be fruitless.” *turns into mom I TOLD YOU SO oh my god im never saying this again cringe

“your deed was noble, but didn’t help him shit. SIR WHY ARE U LIKE THIS, WHY DO U KEEP RUBBING WOUNDS ON MY SALT

“so tell me honestly. Why did you join me for a drink? Why are you so nice to me? Is it so I would release Taehyung earlier than planned?” you write him sooo well fuck *nervous sweating WAIT ITS PRIDE MONTH * nervous gay sweating, gay blushing, gay panicking, gay looking away, gay scoffing (june is almost over and i had to use it)

“I meant with your words” he spits, “not your body” omg im soo nervous to straight up ask me?” YOU JUST ASKED TO SPEAK 😭 idk what to do you can see how honest surprise washes over Yoongi’s face. oh ho 👀👀

Have you ever asked yourself why Jimin died? Why was he so far away from Taehyung when they clearly wanted to run away together? It would have been logical for him to stay by Taehyung’s side and not die so far away from him.” YES BABY UR SO SMART CONNECTING THE DOTS, YOONGI SEE THIS??

BUT WHAT IF JIMIN DID PROTECT TAE??

OMG SHE KISSED HIS CHEEK (i did this to my friend cuz they made a front page for my project, which i forgot, we pretended it never happened, to make this worse we dont even hug that much😭😭)

THE GLASS BROKE HE IS SHOOK THEY KISSED OMG AAAAH FUCK WTF WTFW TWF CHAT I WASNT PREPARED OH MY GOD

the paragraph is so romantic my heart oh fuck me i can feel my heart

Oh what a weak woman you are, you think, as you feel your own body draw closer to him. Your fingers entangle in his hair, your lips part. He tastes like whiskey. Oh what a contrast to his tender lips. THIS IS POETRY AND I WANT IT IN MY VEIN

You must be in the wrong movie. actually you are in a fanf- OW

This view is fascinating. Min Yoongi on his knees, looking up at you after he kissed your foot. the only way to get this view, is to buy such a carpet 😔✊🏻

ANOTHER PANTY LOST 💀 f in the chat for respect 😔✊🏻 irrelevant but i remember a wattpad ff where people kept saying #stopdoorabuse201_ , #savethedoor201_

“Jesus, what are you doing?” judging cuz yall didnt leave space for him(im sorry)

FUCK PUSSY SO GOOD MANS WARM DAMN call that magic pussy

He could ruin you, break you with just a flick of his tongue, corrupt you. But he doesn’t. He treats you with utter care tonight and it is driving you up the wall. writing is too good, loving too good

This feels so good. Fuck, he’s on his knees. This is crazy. Why is he on his knees? He kissed my foot. Yoongi. Fuck I literally can’t. He’s on his knees. mood AND HE READ IT DAMN

PRINCESS HITS DIFFERENT RIGHT NOW hold on did she do something to his emotions??

He never told you, but you have the softest skin. His fingers haven’t touched such softness in centuries. 😭😭😭😭😭😭

The world carved him just so one day he could be on his knees in front of the only woman who manages to make him want to be gentle. stop cutting onions😭

HAIR GRIPPING DYING SWIMMING LIVING IN PUSSY ON KNEES SQUIRTED HOLY FUCK ok maybe this is the hottest 2 people sex (watch me change it to the next one in the future)

KISSING AGAIN AHSHBHSDUK WE ARE DOWN TO FUCK?? LETS GOOO YEEHAW

fuck this is a whiplash from the eating out cuz that was desperate and messy, this feels too intimate im wrapping myself in my blankie

“Don’t let go of me, hold onto me. I promise, I’ll hold you”, DID WE JUST DO SOMEHTING TO HIM??? DIDNT TAE SAY THIS TOO???

YES HUMANITY OH MY GOD IM FEELING THE CHILLS

His dark brown eyes greet you, sparkling in the moonlight and reflecting the snowfall outside. His cheeks have gained colour, his lips are parted. i would like a mind printer thank you

This is the first time you see him actually enjoy his orgasm. In the past it was as if his climax didn’t even affect him, maybe even as if it bored him. So seeing him so totally out of breath and with his face scrunched up and heated in bliss, it hits places on your heart you really didn’t want to be hit at tonight. definitely hit my heart entirely

GUMMY SMILE CHECK

“We’ll talk to Taehyung tomorrow. Alright? YESSSS ok i hope this is for real now, cuz heart 💔 been broke 📉 so many times ⏰

they are talking THEY ARE TLKING omg jimin my baby i love you

NAMJOON IS LIKE YOONGI TOO?? THEY HEALED HUMANS WOW

“I happened.” fuck this is the hardest stuff to say

HOLY SHIT THATS WHY JOON SAID THIS IS TRUE THIS IS IMPORTANT ON THE BACK OF THE NOTES FUCK no wonder tae was panicking more and more during that pillowtalk

shit who is she? is she dead like he thinks orrr 👀👀 OR IS IT THE OLD GRANNY

I chained myself up in a casket and forced myself to dry out. That was supposed to be my fate.” FUCK, YOONGI 😭😭😭not the thoughts haunting no wonder he turns off his emotions and has such control over himself

NOO HE KILLED AGAIN

“That is why the sorcerer cursed you and your lineage to insatiable hunger. Innocent people get hurt and killed. And the killer is left with painful guilt. This is the true curse of your lineage.” FUCK

wait so they were just normal vampires in the beginning? until the sorcerer cursed them? and made rippers and gluttons?

FUCK HE LEFT AGAIN AND MAYBE MAD AGAIN?

aww thank youu gosh I'm happy that you feel it doesn't feel out of place hehehe 🥺💜💜

gaah I love this!! I'm happy that you do heheheh <3

“your deed was noble, but didn’t help him shit. SIR WHY ARE U LIKE THIS, WHY DO U KEEP RUBBING WOUNDS ON MY SALT

JFADJSFJ rubbing wounds on my salt jfadsjf

GAAH THANK YOU!! omgmg I honestly love him in Sanguis Alpha he is so nfngnf dark and moody *loves him eternally*

BUT WHAT IF JIMIN DID PROTECT TAE??

I MEAN HELLOO???????????

THE GLASS BROKE HE IS SHOOK THEY KISSED OMG AAAAH FUCK WTF WTFW TWF CHAT I WASNT PREPARED OH MY GOD

LIKE HE IS LITERALLY JUST A SOFTIE IN LOVE!!!!!!!

ehheheh thank youuu <333

This view is fascinating. Min Yoongi on his knees, looking up at you after he kissed your foot. the only way to get this view, is to buy such a carpet 😔✊🏻

no but I actually need this view to survive fr

ANOTHER PANTY LOST 💀 f in the chat for respect 😔✊🏻 irrelevant but i remember a wattpad ff where people kept saying #stopdoorabuse201_ , #savethedoor201_

jsjsj I was never on wattpad so I don't know this trend jsdfjsj 😶

FUCK PUSSY SO GOOD MANS WARM DAMN call that magic pussy

LIKE HE IS ACTUALLY SO HOT FR NFDSNF

thank you!!! hihihihiih

PRINCESS HITS DIFFERENT RIGHT NOW hold on did she do something to his emotions??

mhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhm 👀

He never told you, but you have the softest skin. His fingers haven’t touched such softness in centuries. 😭😭😭😭😭😭

I forgot how romantic this scene is 😭😭

The world carved him just so one day he could be on his knees in front of the only woman who manages to make him want to be gentle. stop cutting onions😭

LIKE HELOO 😭😭

HAIR GRIPPING DYING SWIMMING LIVING IN PUSSY ON KNEES SQUIRTED HOLY FUCK ok maybe this is the hottest 2 people sex (watch me change it to the next one in the future)

jsdfj I love this energy 🤪

fuck this is a whiplash from the eating out cuz that was desperate and messy, this feels too intimate im wrapping myself in my blankie

right??? it doess omgmg it feels so intimate 😭😭

“Don’t let go of me, hold onto me. I promise, I’ll hold you”, DID WE JUST DO SOMEHTING TO HIM??? DIDNT TAE SAY THIS TOO???

TAE DID SAY THAT HELLOOOOO

YES HUMANITY OH MY GOD IM FEELING THE CHILLS

GIRLLRLRLRLRLRL

His dark brown eyes greet you, sparkling in the moonlight and reflecting the snowfall outside. His cheeks have gained colour, his lips are parted. i would like a mind printer thank you

no joke?? ME FUCKING TOO or something that can turn imagination and dreams into movies so you can actually watch and hear what you are thinking about ufckkck that would be so hot omgmgm 🥵

no but. me too.

GUMMY SMILE CHECK

I AM CRYING IN THE CLUB

NAMJOON IS LIKE YOONGI TOO?? THEY HEALED HUMANS WOW

THE SHOCK SITS DEEP

“I happened.” fuck this is the hardest stuff to say

i just want him to be happy :(

HOLY SHIT THATS WHY JOON SAID THIS IS TRUE THIS IS IMPORTANT ON THE BACK OF THE NOTES FUCK no wonder tae was panicking more and more during that pillowtalk

LIKE SHE WAS SO CLOSE TO THE TRUTHTHHTHTH

shit who is she? is she dead like he thinks orrr 👀👀 OR IS IT THE OLD GRANNY

oh damnnn imagine it's actually her 👀

LIKE PLEASE I JUST WANT HIM TO BE HAPPY

wait so they were just normal vampires in the beginning? until the sorcerer cursed them? and made rippers and gluttons?

No they were only humans, then did something to anger the socerer who as a punishment turned them into vampires. I can't say more without spoiling the plot

#asks: sanguis alpha #asks #minusback #tw: long post

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depressedhatakekakashi · 1 year

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I'll Be Here For You When The World Feels Like It's Crumbling

Words: 2497 (don't talk to me about it I literally wrote this whole fic down in a notebook and then had to type it up. it was PAIN)

For: @skykashi

Konoha was destroyed.

Everywhere Kakashi looked there was rubble. Remnants of the buildings that had once stood tall and proud welcoming guests with bright signs had been turned into dust under Pein’s attack. The BBQ place, Ichiraku, the Book shop. Even the hospital had been leveled in the attack, forcing the medical corps to create the make-shift hospital’s out of tents where the injured could be cared for.

He wasn’t sure what invisible force was driving him to walk through the village at this moment. Why he even felt the need to check in on all of the places he had grown up with when he knew exactly what he would find.

Rubble.

Destruction.

A village that he had given his life to protect, levelled in an instant. As if it had never truly been there.

Kicking a stone across the path, he cringed when the rough edge crashed against his big toe as the stone sailed forward. His mind zeroed in on the pain, focusing on the tingling complaints of his nerves in a way he had never allowed himself to before.

‘You’re alive’ he heard the words echo in his mind, but even now he still couldn’t quite believe them.

After a lifetime of chasing after death, seeking the sweet relief from all of the pain he’d become accustomed to in his life, he’d finally reached it. Finally closed his eyes and allowed the cold darkness to engulf him.

There were no regrets on his mind when he’d resolved to die saving Choji’s life. He knew that no matter what happened next, he’d done all that he could.

He’d held off Pein in hopes of giving Naruto a chance to complete his sage training and return to the village to do what he could not: Protect their home.

He’d died protecting others. Saving them from the fate that he had welcomed with open arms. There was nothing for him to regret, or so he had thought.

It was only when he was sitting beside a campfire regaling his father with his life story that he realized there was still so much more he needed to do. Friends that he wanted to spend more time with. Lesson that he still had to teach his students, and challenges that he needed to face with them so that they didn’t have to do it all alone.

Then, in the blink of an eye, everything changed. Just as he’d thought he would move on into the afterlife where he might finally meet the mother he lost far too soon, the universe came crashing down on him with another idea.

Another chance at life.

“Don’t worry,” his father had called out to him as his soul rose back toward the land of the living. “I’ll fill your mom in on everything you told me. Take your time joining us, pop.” Those were the last words that Kakashi heard before opening his eyes and finding himself back among the living.

Three short hours ago Kakashi had forfeited any thoughts of his own future for the good of Konoha and the next generation of Shinobi, and now here he stood among the rubble that had once been Konoha.

“There’s a lot of work ahead of us,” a small voice spoke, yanking Kakashi out of his thoughts. Glancing to his side he smiled when he saw Shizune standing there staring up at him. “But we can rebuild. We’ve done it before.”

Her optimism was refreshing. More reserved than Gai’s energetic cheers, but still just as warm.

Though, it was overshadowed by something else. A feeling that radiated off of Shizune that he couldn’t quite place.

“Well,” he shrugged away his concern and stared back at the pile of rubble that had once been the hospital. “We have a whole village ready to put in the work. Thanks to Naruto’s efforts we didn’t lose anyone.”

Not even Kakashi himself, though he couldn’t help but think it was a fluke that he’d been brought back. A rare moment when luck had taken his side.

“You’re right,” Shizune’s voice sounded even smaller than before, but when Kakashi glanced her way all he saw was the same straight-laced, confident woman that he’d always known. “No one was lost, but-“ She cut herself off, her eyes staring off into the distance.

“Shizune?”

Shaking her head she turned towards him and smiled. It wasn’t the same soft, kind smile she gave him every morning when they lay together in bed, tangled in each other’s arms. Nor was it the mischievous smile that stretched across her face whenever she got thoughts of jumping into his arms and kissing him senseless.

This was a sad smile. The smile of a woman who had almost lost everything.

“You know,” he bumped his shoulder against hers in an open offering of support. “Tsunade-sama is going to wake up.”

“I know,” she confirmed with a sharp nod. “There are few people as strong-willed as her. The elders may not have a lot of hope, but they’re wrong. I know they are.”

With that concern taken care of, Kakashi searched for another source for her strange behavior. Some reasons she might have for allowing sadness and worry to outweigh her usually cheerful attitude.

‘I miss her already’ The words he’d said to his father came back to him with a flood of emotions.

Worry.

Sadness.

Heartbreak.

Kakashi had died. He’d left Shizune, Yamato, and Gai behind without saying goodbye. As a Shinobi he’d always prepared himself for the possibility, but he’d never put much thought into how they would feel if the day ever came when he didn’t return home.

Now he found himself face to face with the results of his death. He’d left someone else to deal with that deep, aching hurt that followed the death of a precious person, except he came back. He had an opportunity to make it right.

“Shizune, I-“

A simple shake of her head silenced him.

“I accepted long ago that you might die in the field,” she whispered out a response to an apology he hadn’t yet given. “You’re a field shinobi. One of Konoha’s best. Every day that you come back alive is a blessing that I know may be taken away from me the next time you leave the village.”

Her words were meant to assure him, but they only made him feel worse. Not only had he misjudged her concerns twice now, but because of him, she was living in a constant state of waiting for the day when he didn’t come home.

Regret began to set in as he dwelled on the reality of her situation, but he quickly dismissed it. This moment wasn’t about him or his feelings. He could ignore them and move forward, even if it was selfish of him to do so.

Shizune was the one who mattered at the moment. If there was anything he could do to comfort her, he would. Even if he had to face the rest of the world to do it.

“Kakashi,” a finger pressed against the center of his chest. “Are you there?”

“Yes,” he answered a little too quickly. “I mean- no, wait.” taking a step back he closed his eyes and concentrated on his breathing.

Deep breath in.

There were too many feelings and thoughts to process at once, so Kakashi did what he was most familiar with. He began sorting them.

Deep breath out.

His feelings about dying went into the back corner of his mind. A place where they would sit and collect dust until he was ready to deal with them, which would probably be never if he was being honest with himself.

Deep breath in.

Next was the emotions that came with knowing Tsunade-sama was in Acoma and that a new Hokage would need to be selected swiftly in order for the village to begin healing. Those went into the back of his mind. A place where he would be able to reach them when he had time to properly process them and tackle all of the issues that came with them. These feelings involved the future of Konoha, and by extension the security of his precious people. He would deal with them as soon as he knew Shizune was alright.

Deep breath out.

Shizune.

Every worry he had paled in comparison to her. The woman that he’d come to know as determined, strong-willed, and unafraid to show her true feelings. Whatever had happened in his short time with his father in the afterlife had deeply affected her. He could see it in the deep creases under her eyes and the dull glimmer of her gaze.

In dying, he’d failed to protect one of the most precious people in his life, and he knew that he needed to make it right. Every other thought and worry could wait until then.

Deep breath in.

Opening his eyes he focused his full attention on Shizune. “What happened?” he asked, hoping to get right to the problem without much struggle.

Rather than making it easy on him, Shizune simply shrugged her shoulders, but Kakashi couldn’t help noticing how she would look at anything in the area around them except for him.

“Konoha was destroyed,” she finally answered, her words calculated and calm. As though she’d been practicing them in preparation for this moment. “Tsunade-sama was able to save everyone from Pein’s attack using Lady Katsuyu, but…”

Her words trailed off. A haunted look settled into her eyes as she stared ahead, and Kakashi wanted to reach out and hug her. To Assure her that everything was alright now, but he forced himself to refrain.

There was no doubt in his mind that if he comforted her now before she told him what exactly was bothering her, he’d never find out the answer. It was selfish, but he needed that answer. He had to know just what had upset her so much that she lost the warmth in her smile.

So, he waited. Stood back and watched as she relived everything in her memories and tried to process it all. To compartmentalize it just as she always did. As Kakashi had just done with his own thoughts.

It took five minutes before that careful train of thought came crumbling down. Kakashi could see the moment it happened: The slump of Shizune’s shoulder’s signifying surrender, the downcast gaze as she accepted the reality of the situation, the sigh that passed through her lips as she prepared to tell him.

Kakashi braced himself for the words, but there was nothing that could have prepared him for what he heard next.

“I died.”

The words echoed in his ears. A cruel mantra that had haunted his thoughts over the years, but which he’d managed to fight back with constant reminders of Shizune’s position within the village. The unlikeliness of her taking on a mission that would result in her early death, and the assurance that even if someone did try to kill her they would have to go through Kakashi and Tsunade first.

Now, though, all of the fears he’d pushed back came flooding into his head once again.

“I-“ he tried to speak, but everything he wanted to say refused to come out. No matter how hard he tried he just couldn’t vocalize all of the emotions swirling around in his mind. The fear simmered inside of him at all times. A deep, raw fear of losing his most precious people after a lifetime of burying the people who had mattered to him most when he was younger.

The relief washed over him as soon as he reminded himself that Shizune was alright. That just as he had been brought back, so had she.

Those emotions were some of the strongest at the moment, but even they paled in comparison to his worry. A worry that was directed solely at Shizune and her current mental state. There wasn’t a single thing that he could think of to say in hopes of comforting her, so he chose to simply not say anything at all.

Instead, he opened up his arms and waited as Shizune examined him with a cautious look.

“What?“ she took a step forward, her eyes focused on Kakashi’s outstretched arms. “What are you doing?”

“It’s a hug,” he answered with his usual calm, even though there was a war of emotions going on inside of him.

“But,” her eyes flickered up to his face or just a second before returning to his arms. “You don’t like hugs. N-not in public.”

The last word came out in a whisper. A cautious reminder of where they were and who might see them. If they were behind closed doors she wouldn’t bother giving him any sort of warning before jumping straight into his arms and hugging the very breath out of his lungs, but there was no door here hiding them away from the rest of the world.

It was just them and the open space around them.

Kakashi didn’t care though. Not today. Not when Shizune needed him. All of Konoha could pass by at that moment and he wouldn’t change a thing.

‘I’ll make an exception,” he joked while gesturing her forward. “Just this once, for you.”

Another second of hesitation and then Shizune’s resolve crumbled. She surged forward, burying her face into his shoulder as soon as she could. Hiding away the tears that Kakashi knew were falling now that she had something to hide behind.

A wall between her and a world that would dare to judge her for allowing herself to break down, because that’s not what a ‘real shinobi’ did.

“Shhh,” his arms closed around her shoulders, holding her tight while she cried. “You’re here. You’re alive.”

They had both lived when they shouldn’t have, and for that Kakashi was thankful.

There was still so much for them to do. Days that they could spend wrapped up in each other’s arms laughing at whispered jokes and childish dreams. Precious people that they could still create new, brilliant memories with, and so much more.

Life had begun anew in a way and Kakashi had every intention of taking advantage of it.

After Shizune had cried. When she’d processed everything that had happened and decided to take a step forward. Toward their future, with Kakashi at her side ready to face whatever the universe had in store for them.

“It’s ok,” he rubbed a hand over her back and listened to the muffled sobs that escaped past his shoulder. “Everything will be alright.”

Maybe not today or even tomorrow, but somewhere down the line it would all be alright. That’s what Kakashi had been telling himself for years, and what he would continue to promise himself until the day when things finally got better.

An endless promise to push him through every terrible thing that happened because if he gave up, who would fight for the future?

#Taryn's Birthday Bash #KakaShiz #KakaShizune #TW: Angst #TW: Death #Hurt/comfort

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99centsoda · 5 months

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this is Vera! he is inspired by the 'henchman/bodyguard' kind of trope where there's usually the most evil motherfucker out there who has someone (who is often coded as being romantically in love with them) as their underling they are generally shitty towards but they still have seemingly unwavering devotion. I wanted a story where that character is the MC, I also wondered about a story where the big bad dies and what becomes of that underling? they usually die and get bundled in with gay character always dies trope.

This character is inspired a lot from a certain character in Trigun, so if you don't want Trigun Maximum spoilers don't look! CW for mental illness and abuse

Story of this character being made was reading Trigun Maxiumum after watching the botched 90's anime (and then I watched the reboot by Studio Orange which I am very excited to see what they do with it in regards to the trimax content) found myself thinking a lot about Legato Bluesummers. You might even call Vera the Legato at home atp. I mean even the design is highly lifted from legato lmao.

It makes sense why Legato dies, narratively for his character and Vash's as being the first time he decides to kill despite his pacifism. But, as one does when they like a character, I started wondering what if Legato lived? What would that look like? From there I was thinking a lot about why he's Like That(tm), he does fall into the Gay Henchmen stereotype and from there I was thinking about that trope as a whole. @/d-d-disgusting's character Vince (i used to RP with tooth but idk if they're still around or wanna connect but yeah Vince is amazing and so interesting) they have a really interesting take on the "Traits Villain's Cringe Fail sidekick usually are given in media and lets examine that" its awesome) was another big inspiration for this.

Something I find interesting about Legato is that obviously Knives wants to get rid of humans as a whole and that whole thing. Legato is 1000% on board for this, frankly can't remember if this is implied because he is suicidal or that's just what I took away from it but yea. I found that interesting. He's a relatively newer character of mine but I wanted to examine with his story what would happen to make someone feel this way, the lengths they would go to just to please someone who openly has disdain and disgust for them, why they might be ok with that or even agree with that treatment

And then what might happen if that person was taken away and leaving this Henchmen Trope character purposeless. Dealing with the aftermath of it all. Vera has a TBI too frankly becuase i became disabled with my neurological nonsense right around the same time i read all of trimax over one very long shift and so my FND is tied to Trigun for me for whatever reason and even the themes outside of the work do nebulously connect to my disability for me lol

#my ocs #oc stuff #vera

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goremet-chef · 1 year

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guhh im so bothered rnn (vent/rant)

so... i? idk. ive been out as trans in my house since 2020. my mom doesnt call me dom (sometimes she does if my sibling encourages her to, but she defaults back to my deadname anyways) and ive learned to accept it. i dont think she ever will and its sad for me, the reality that once i start my transition, ill need to just.. leave a lot of my family behind. they think its some rebellious choice like i hate all of them but im more worried about them hating me

my mom says shes supportive but is actively right wing, shes having an inner battle with her ideologies, i know that. i can tell by how she talks about homeless people vs how she talks about us being queer

so. whatever. thats my mom i guess. but for a long time, i wasnt out to my moms husband. i despise him and ive never intentionally started a conversation with him, let alone come out. ive started to not care about what he thinks. i know what he thinks, he thinks gays should die, said it straight to my gay siblings face. okay, cool. doesnt concern me, moms bf is absolutely fucking nothing to me.

to remedy this sort of like... we didnt wanna DEAL with what he might say if he heard both my siblings calling me dom, cuz both of them do, so whenever theyre around they would just refer to my deadname, but i saw it made them cringe, so now everyone calls me 'that one child'

that one, other one, etc etc

no one even calls me my name anymore

it makes me feel so hopeless. ive EXPRESSED it makes me upset but my younger sibling doesnt care (the one most guilty of it), because they dont understand why it upsets me, i guess thats enough reason to keep going

its so dehumanizing to be reduced to actually nothing. i ALREADY have heaps and heaps and HEAPS of identity issues. sometimes it gets so bad i start having crazy ass delusions, sometimes im not even present and its a different part of my mind in my body

its hard enough as is!!! now my family wont call me anything at all

it makes me feel less bad about leaving, but i dont think ill ever leave at this rate

need to start T, change my name, get a job, all in that order. starting T seems impossible at this rate. i.. dont know what to do. i cant keep LIVING like this, because im not living at all

i never leave my house because im too ashamed in how i look, i cant BEAR the thought of anyone else perceiving me as female, i cant fucking do it!!! im so tired. my house is like a prison for me, genuinely.

and my family dont get it, obviously. they think its my choice, im some kind of hermit who doesnt care about being outside because i have internet. they are so fucking wrong. i miss going out, i miss being around people, i miss existing like everyone else, but i just cant do it man. not like this

so it becomes a waiting game, when am i gonna bring up starting it? how do i even move forward once i do? what if she says no? id have to do it on my own but i cant.. i cant even order things for myself without freezing like shutting up will get me out of there, i cant fucking do it

she doesnt even know!! we were in the car together and she was like yknow theres people who cant even make a doctors appointment. what losers.

IM losers, would she have said that if she knew? does she know and decided to say it anyways? i dont know, but its just.. everything seems so hopeless at this point. i want to just give up, accept im not gonna be who i truly am, but man i cant stand being any more miserable

it makes me wanna cry, the only time i get to feel myself how i think i should be is either if i draw something fictitious, or if i spend hours in the mirror making sure i look masculine, my mustache is convincing, etc. AND FOR WHAT? literally for fucking WHAT, because i dont leave the house anyways!!!!! dolled up like i have somewhere to be, like my appearance will get me what i want, when im stuck at home! i got nothing to prove to them, they think what they think

its fucking dreadful. im so scared of my life passing me by, and here i am wasting away in my bedroom for the last 3 years. no progress, nothing. at first, i was scared about even starting T because theres a higher risk of heart disease, but. i dont fucking care if it KILLS me. i dont care!!! if it kills me i dont fucking care im not living the life i want to live anyways. the risk of death is worth it at this point, i mean that so seriously

idk. im just tired, is all. i wish everyone could perceive me the way i dream they would. only time that happens is online, or when im not with my family at all and instead with my friends. but we only hang out like. once in a blue moon

and yknow what? im not even safe then. i remember we were at my friends house for halloween last year (we always meet up). i had my full leatherface costume one, my face was touched up to make it look like the mask. and still. dressed that way, when my friends mom asked me what my name was, i said dom and she was immediately like. "oh, dominique?" no. my name is fucking DOMINIC.

i didnt say anything besides correcting her, but it was such a blow, man. the only time ill be happy is if im closely monitoring every single thing i do, to make sure i dont appear feminine at all. no matter how i look, now matter how deep my voice is. miserable. why would anyone think that id choose this

#tw transphobia #tw dysphoria #tw queerphobia #tw misgendering

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