#townspeople we’re like oh we’re so fucked

[pippersmcgee]

i had such a beautiful effortless dream of new potential OCs. thank u brain. this never happens so I know I must savor it and not let them go to waste

[earthstellar]

still re-watching Rescue Bots, still having a good time lmao so an analysis post was inevitable

Chase: “Attention, ants: You seem like reasonable and well-organized creatures. Obey the law and cease this vandalism.” 

One second later: 

bonk 

he’s doing his best, 10/10 I love it when bots don’t understand Earth creatures 

uh oh I’m overthinking it again: 

implications for how the bots perceive organic lifeforms and organic intelligence 

honestly it’s actually interesting that they usually assume (at first, anyway) that any Earth animals have roughly the same intelligence

they assume any living thing on Earth might be sentient; if humans are, then why not anything/everything else, until proven otherwise? 

there are potential implications here for how they inevitably see humans or just organic complex lifeforms in general. 

we’re not humans to them, we’re organics. 

when you realise they tend to group ALL organic life together into one general category, their tendency to assume ants, dogs, etc. all have human-like cognitive capacity suddenly makes a lot of sense.

it’s only after a bit of initial adjustment and trial-and-error that they actually start to distinguish humans from other organics. 

we distinguish more between individual species, but they don’t. we’re all just organics

and because the bots are good people, they don’t want to fuck up and potentially assume incorrectly in regard to any organic species’ potential for sentience. 

linguistic choices when Cybertronians speak about humans vs animals: words matter

it’s interesting to pay attention to who they call humans vs. people, and when those specific words are used interchangeably to them and when they aren’t. 

“these are our humans” versus “we have to keep the people safe” 

“we live among humans” versus “these townspeople are weird” (lmao) 

it’s just something I like to pay attention to, but the word choices the bots use for referring to people/humanity is worth noting 

Chase calls the ants here “creatures”, which is also worth noting! 

the bots aren’t so far out of the loop at this point that they’ll assume injects are the same as human beings-- thus there is clearly some kind of categorical difference to them between different types of organics at this point

but he doesn’t call them “insects”, he calls them “creatures”-- further hinting at how unfamiliar Earth still is to the bots in general, in a very subtle way

it might also be that Cybertronian language(s) may not distinguish to this degree or in this kind of way, as even though Cybertron does have native animal lifeforms, there are also Beastformers and other animal-like people and various other creatures native to their home planet which we might then categorise or interpret differently from what they would. the problem would go both ways, to at least some degree 

so this type of distinction for organic lifeforms, or possibly just ones on Earth, may actually be either culturally and/or linguistically difficult for Cybertronians to define or differentiate in the way humans would 

insecticons vs. insects: easy differentiation, or not? 

but Chase still assumes the ants will understand him and respond in some way accordingly, which is almost certainly at least partly down to Chase not wanting to be rude to a species that might understand him 

and remembering that Rescue Bots is part of the Aligned Continuity, insecticons don’t have a very positive presence in TFP; it could be that Chase might be aware ants are a kind of insect, or that the category of insect exists on Earth, but may perceive calling someone an insect as being a potentially heavy insult or accusation of some kind of wrong-doing 

and since Chase clearly thinks the ants may be able to understand and respond to him here, of course he wouldn’t want to potentially insult them by calling them insects, since to him that may have different implications and he clearly wants to respect the ants

we don’t know a lot about that much native animal/insect life that may have existed on Cybertron in the Aligned Continuity, all things considered, so it’s hard to say if this would even be an easily distinguished category for them; organic insects vs. cybertronian insects might be fairly distinct, but would it be, from their point of view? 

consider the existence of not just insecticons but possibly also beetle type beastformers etc. 

to Cybertronians, what we would consider animal lifeforms would quite possibly be more closely associated to people who can also turn into those animals and retain sentience while doing so 

in which case, it makes a lot of sense that Chase, being unfamiliar with ants, may have just naturally assumed that perhaps these ants were just as sentient as an insect type beastformer in alt-mode, even if he is aware that organic lifeforms cannot transform in the Cybertronian sense 

EDIT: just thought about this aspect, too: 

“freedom is the right of all sentient beings”: if you don’t know who’s sentient or not, err on the side of caution 

the Rescue Bots are aligned with the Autobot faction 

famously, across most Transformers media, a large part of the moral core of Autobot ideology is the idea that all sentient beings have inherent rights to freedom (in various forms) and personhood, as per the famous quote from Optimus

it makes sense that any Cybertronians who side more with the Autobots would uphold this ideology as much as possible, in so far as that freedom does not cause harm 

as far as Chase is concerned here, the ants may very well be sentient, as he doesn’t know and can’t really tell at first one way or the other-- but their actions are causing damage, and therefore he attempts to kindly but firmly intervene 

thus respecting their assumed sentience by taking a polite and diplomatic approach to asking them to cease and desist 

in Season 3 Episode 5, Chase does the same thing when the town starts to flood, in relation to the fish in the river: “All citizens without gills and/or fins must evacuate this area.” To them, the fish are citizens too. Because they’re sentient organic people until proven otherwise, and they don’t know yet either way. 

(How “citizen” is defined for Cybertronians may also vary. Are all lifeforms in an area automatically considered citizens on Cybertron? Possibly. We don’t know how they may categorise lifeforms on their homeworld in this way.) 

because when you can’t tell if a lifeform is sentient or not, it is the Autobot way to err on the side of caution and assume sentience until proven otherwise, for moral and diplomatic reasons.

which Chase does perfectly in this scene, and repeatedly on various occasions throughout the series. 

---

idk I’m just having a lot of fun on this Rescue Bots re-watch marathon, lmao 

[Source: Rescue Bots, Season 3 Episode 7] 

[onceuponastory]

love me, too - sam wilson x reader

I hope we kiss goodnight It might just end my life - kiss goodnight by i don't know how, but they found me

Plot: One night in Delacroix, Y/N and Sam sit together on his sister's porch swing. Sam is preoccupied with Sarah and Bucky’s growing romantic interest in one another… whilst Y/N is preoccupied with her romantic interest in Sam. Pairing: Sam Wilson x Female!Reader. Also hinted Bucky x Sarah (Bucky has a crush). Warnings: A small mention of alcohol, and just a lot of sickly sweet fluff. But as always, if I miss any triggers, let me know. Notes: This is for @flufftober Day 7: Porch Swing. I love writing Sam fluff, he's the best, and I adore this story, so I hope you all love it too! 💖 Not beta'd, so any mistakes are my own.

“Y/N, when are you going to stop torturing yourself?” Bucky asks from beside her as he takes a swig from his beer. Y/N frowns. She went outside to sit on Sarah's porch swing for a moment of relaxation and solitude. She came to Delacroix for a break from the city and to unwind. Of course, seeing Sam, Sarah, Bucky, AJ and Cass was the main reason, but she can see why they love it so much whenever she’s there. It’s so peaceful, and the townspeople are so welcoming. So when Bucky joined her and told her he needed to ask her something, she definitely was not expecting such an intense question to leave his lips.

“Jeez, deep much? And besides, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“That’s a lie.” Another swig. When Y/N stays silent, Bucky rolls his eyes. “Really? You’re not going to talk now?”

“I don’t know what you mean.” She lies again, which Bucky once again picks up on immediately.

“Mhm. Sure. I may be an old man, but I’m not stupid.” He raises a brow, staring at her and just waiting for her to break. When she still doesn’t take the bait, Bucky sighs. “I’m talking about how insanely in love with Sam you are, and how you still haven’t told him yet.” Y/N gasps, swatting at his arm. Bucky may be one of her best friends in the world… but he’s also a complete pain in the ass.

“Shut up!” She hisses. “It’s none of your business when, or even if, I’ll tell him. Besides, did you really come out here just to pester me on my dating life?” Y/N asks. Bucky shakes his head. 

“Nope. Sarah wanted me to ask you if you want some ice cream.” He smiles, and Y/N raises a brow.

“Oh, you wanna talk about my dating life? How about your huge crush on Sarah, lover-boy?” Bucky’s face goes scarlet, and Y/N’s burst of laughter fills the air. “I knew it!” She gasps. “You’re absolutely not one to talk about me not telling Sam. When are you going to tell Sarah?”

“I-I don’t know!” He stammers. “Anytime I go near her, Sam stares daggers at me.” He groans, and Y/N nods. She’s definitely been witness to a few of those looks. If looks could kill, Bucky would be in serious trouble. “Look at us. Best friends, and each in love with one of the Wilsons.” 

“And we’re both terrified to tell them the truth.”

Bucky chuckles. “How about we just both agree to tell them whenever we’re ready? …Whenever the hell that is.” He suggests, and Y/N agrees. “Perfect. I’m gonna head back in, you coming?” Bucky asks, and Y/N shakes her head. 

“I’ll stay here for a bit. See you later.” As Bucky departs, Y/N settles back into her seat, staring out at the sunset, and the sky’s vibrant pink and purple hues. God, it’s so beautiful out here.

For a while, she’s alone with her thoughts, until:

“Hey, you. Buck said you were out here on your own. What’s up?” Sam asks, sitting down beside her. 

“Of course he did. I’m gonna fucking kill him.”

She looks over at Sam, who grins back at her, turning his body to face her. As she wonders what it would be like to be wrapped in his warm embrace, she can already register her heart beating just that little faster. Despite the cooler chill in the air as autumn makes its way in, being with Sam like this makes her feel all warm and cosy inside. Well… that’s how Sam always makes her feel. Initially, she thought you felt this way towards everyone, including friends. But then she realised that nobody else makes her feel so content, or can make her laugh as hard as Sam does. Nobody else would let her call them at all hours of the night for a chat, even if it’s about mindless nonsense. 

Nobody ever cares as much about her as Sam Wilson does. 

And god, she loves him so much.

“Hey yourself. I could ask you the same question, you know.” Sam chuckles, a classic Sam Wilson smile that sends her heart into a flutter. She hopes his reply is something like: 

“I just wanted to see you.” or “I have to tell you something.” Unfortunately though, it’s not that. “Oh my god, I just had to get away from my sister and Bucky flirting with one another. It’s driving me insane.” Y/N rolls her eyes, suppressing a groan. Here it comes.

Ever since she arrived, Sam has been complaining about Bucky's crush on Sarah, and Sarah's reciprocated feelings for him. And since he can’t take his frustrations out on either of them, he's dumping it all on her. Of course, she understands he just wants to protect his sister, and despite knowing Bucky’s a good guy, it’s natural to worry. At first, she was thankful for his complaining, since it gave her a chance to think about something that wasn’t her crush on Sam. Now, though, it’s driving her crazy.

“Are you listening to me?”

“Yeah.” she murmurs, and Sam raises a brow. 

“You sure? You look….” He murmurs, and she rolls her eyes.

“Well Sam, there’s only so many times you can hear about Bucky and Sarah staring at each other.” She points out, and he nods.

“I know, I know.” His words make Y/N breathe a sigh of relief. Finally, it's over. Until: “I just don’t get it! Like what could she possibly see in-“

“Oh my god, Sam, please stop.” She groans, leaning against the back of the swing.

“But- “

“No! That’s all I’ve had to put up with since I got here!” She exclaims. “And I understand you’re nervous, but Bucky’s a great guy and Sarah will be fine. She's raising those two boys by herself, I think she can handle your best friend.” In hindsight, she should’ve calmed down and thought about what she was going to say next. But after spending so long bottling things up, she’s ready to erupt. “This was supposed to be a relaxing trip, and I wanted to tell you how I feel about you!”

“What do you mean?” Sam asks, his brow raised and his voice suddenly more serious.

“I was going to tell you I love you!” She gasps. Her admission shocks them both, and her eyes widen. “Oh fuck. Oh shit. Oh, fuck.” 

“Oh. Oh.” Sam murmurs. The embarrassment comes then, almost drowning her under its weight. It’s too late to turn back now, to protect her heart before it shatters completely.

So, since she’s already digging herself a giant hole, she might as well keep going.

 “Fuck, Sam, I have been in love with you for… to be honest, I lost count.” She chuckles awkwardly. Sam doesn’t laugh. Or smile. He just stares at her, which makes Y/N’s anxiety kick into overdrive. “I don’t mind if you don’t feel the same.” She lies. Honestly, it would tear her apart, to give so much of her heart to one person, her favourite person in the entire world, and receive nothing in return. “I just couldn’t go another day without telling you.”

“Y/N.” Sam speaks, his voice a lot softer now. He scoots closer, so much so their bodies are almost touching. “I’m sorry.” And then, Y/N truly wants the ground to swallow her whole. She tries to stand up, ready to leave and to forget this ever happened… until: “I wasn’t finished.” Sam chuckles. He takes a deep breath. “I was going to say I’m sorry for being so focused on my feelings and not paying attention to you.” He finds her hand, squeezing it reassuringly. Y/N feels the warmth radiating from his touch, and she slowly starts to calm down. “And I’m sorry for being an idiot.” He continues, and she raises a brow.

“What do you mean?”

“I didn’t tell you how I feel about you.” He answers, and her mouth drops open. Sam leans in, cupping her cheek. “I love you so much. You’re the most gorgeous woman I know, and I’m so glad you love me, too. Although, I don’t think anyone could love you as much as I love you.” A deep heat settles on her cheeks, and Sam chuckles. “Y/N?”

“Mhm?”

“I really want to kiss you.”

“I really want you to kiss me, too.” Smiling, Sam leans in close, pressing his lips to hers in a soft kiss. It’s perfect, like one of those rom-com kisses where the music reaches a crescendo and you feel it throughout your entire body. It’s better than anything she’d wished for. 

They sit there for the rest of the night, wrapped in each other’s embrace. Watching as the sun disappears below the horizon, and as the stars and moon appear. “I love you, you know that?” Sam asks, and Y/N giggles.

“Yeah, I think you mentioned that once or twice.” But she still can’t stop grinning like a fool. A total, lovesick fool. Sam kisses her temple.

“Well, you better get used to hearing it more and more, because I’ll never let you forget it.”

“Good.” She smiles, leaning in for another kiss.

“I am sorry for being a pain in the ass, though.” Sam repeats, and Y/N chuckles.

“You don’t need to be sorry. You’ve more than made up for it anyway.” She grins, raising a brow, and Sam kisses her temple.

“Did I ever tell you I love you?”

“Once or twice, yeah.” She giggles, and Sam grins. 

“Well, I’m going to keep telling you. Because I do love you Y/N, and I never want you to forget that.” Y/N smiles, pecking his lips. 

“I could never forget you, Sam. You’re stuck with me for the rest of your life.” She teases, and Sam’s grin grows even wider.

“Sounds perfect.” He smirks, leaning in once more.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

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[graciereyy]

The Siren And The Samurai Chapter: 1

Happens after events of last episode! POSSIBLE SPOILERS.

*warning! This will have alot of possibly triggering stuff just like the actual show so be advised.*

Mizu awoke from the yell of the boaters.

“WE’RE CLOSE! GO GET THEM!”

She moaned in complaint from the loss of comfort in her sleep. “Sir, we are close to London and getting closer by the second. Im sorry to wake you, but you need to be up here.”She deeply exhaled.

“Oh alright.” She gathered her things and went outside, the cool breeze made her calm. They were right, London was close-by. A rush of excitement filled her, she could just imagine killing those men already . “are you guys going to stay here? Because i need that irish fuck here, so i can go to him when i need him.” One of the boaters grinned.

“Yeah, we’re going to stay a while. We have quite some business to do here, you dont need to worry about a thing.” She hummed in confirmation then fixed her bangs. “What are you doing here anyway?”

“Business.” She looked behind her and sighed in relief. “Oh look we’re here.” She was happy to get off this damn boat after so long, it felt like she was stuck in a hole forever, but not anymore, more subtle excitement rushed into her body, She was so ready to leave and get off the water and go back on her way. “Hm, its still dark out..” she mumbled to herself. She turned back to the men “so can i just explore? I need some direction.”

“Hell yeah, have at it boy.” One of them said as the other ran to tie the boat to the port. “Just make sure your able to get back.”

“I will.” She mumbled. She took a deep breath then turned around to leave the boat for a while. When her foot touched the port she felt a release in herself. She slowly made her way into the smaller downtown part of the city, it wasn’t like japan at all and she wasn’t used everything being so different, especially when it came to clothes. The women wore these restrictive looking things on their torsos, elegant looking but also looked kind of uncomfortable; With long layered skirts.

While the men wore vests and ugly looking pants. She felt kind of judged just wearing her kimono, the townspeople probably never seen clothes like hers just like she hasn’t seen clothes like theirs but she didn’t really care about that, as long as she wasn’t being looked to as inferior unlike a certain almost bald samurai she was fine.

While she did think about him she didn’t really know how to feel about him. She doesn’t have the time to find out right now, not like he ever actually liked her anyway. She sighed as she made her way to what the townspeople call “The Plaza” its a circular part of town with a stage in the middle, the golden lanterns lit it up beautifully. it looked like the main place a festival would be, which piqued her interest only by a little. Well not until the guy on stage announced one of the singers.

“ Unfortunately theres someone going to be performing in the morning that isn’t very expected or wanted, tomorrow morning THE SIREN is going to perform..” most of the crowd booed while some didn’t even know how to react themselves. Mizu was one of them, she was so confused by it. Why were they called the siren and why weren’t they liked? She just decided to go back to the port.

When she was pretty close to port she saw a strange looking girl with long brown hair, even longer than her own with it getting lighter at the very ends, but also short; reminding her of a tiny mouse. But something else caught her eye about the girl, her clothes looked promiscuous compared to both hers and the the townspeople, her skirt was layered but shorter, a few inches above her knees. her corset had a floral pattern with transparent puffy sleeves. She noticed her staring and their eyes locked, her brown eyes just engraved into Mizus head.

She just ran away and back into the boat. She cleared her throat and deepened her voice “im going to check on, Abijah.” One of the boaters nodded in response. She made her way to the cell while tapping on the wood of the boat, trying to annoy him. Out came a sinister chuckle as she was noticed.

“Ah, little miss Mizu. Ive been waiting for you…” he cooed.

“Ah huh. Okay.”

He grabbed the metal of the cell and twirled his hair sarcastically, as he said “ I’ve been so very lonely down here by myself Mizu.. cant you let me out now?.” He cooed in the tone of an innocent girl.

“Yeah no, you can stay down here for now. You’re going to be here as long as i need you then im going to kill you.”

he growled quietly. “Just gonna use me like im a common whore? Okay fine have your own way then.”

[renee-mariposa]

No I need a full post about this. The Dead Don’t Die was extremely boring and not all that funny. I wasn’t in on the jokes, so they felt like a waste of time. I couldn’t tell what The Bit was, so it couldn’t make me laugh. There were a few absurd moments but again there was often no punchline, starving the joke of humor.

All of the characters were so strange! There were so many moments that felt important but ultimately were never brought up again. The characters could’ve saved this movie! But because nothing about the characters was important to the plot, the story, the jokes, or the Theme, it was all boring and a waste of time.

A part of me felt like so many of the characters could be queer: the weird guy at the gas station with a crush on the Wu-PS driver, the kid at the detention center. I don’t really think this filmmaker could make a movie with queerness as a theme but I do wish some of the characters could’ve been queer

So much time was spent on the scenery but the scenery wasn’t that interesting. I’ve been in towns like the one the movie was approximating. The scenery can be thrilling! It can be sobering, it can be dread-inducing, it can be awe-inspiring, it can be peaceful. The camera and editing didn’t capture any of that.

And the town. A tiny town in ?Appalachia with 700-some-odd people doesn’t look like the one in the film. And that’s fine, except it kinda felt like the Director was trying to call upon the atmosphere of a town like that: the forest, the old houses next to the worn-down road, the rusting cars being overtaken by vines. In my experience, the overwhelming atmosphere of the people in a town like that is abject poverty. Widespread meth use. Mold covering the siding on the houses. All of the elderly who have survived are obese (or thin and cancer-stricken) and suffering greatly from untreated diabetes. Obviously, the movie doesn’t have to take place in reality. It isn’t obligated to depict anything realistically. But I think they wanted “quaint little town in the south” and didn’t put in the work to sell that.

And the fucking “the government and Energy Companies are lying about polar fracking being the end of the world” shtick was such a waste of time. If he wanted to make a movie about The End Of The World, just focus on the small town! Just show that to the townspeople, the town is the world. They’re cut off from the outside and everyone dies.

Oh and why are the only survivors the three kids and the homeless guy? What is the point of that?

All I’m saying is, it didn’t feel like there was a clear vision of what they wanted the movie to do or say. The location didn’t make sense, because they half-assed the setting introduction; I had to call upon my assumptions and my assumptions didn’t line up with the “We’re all comfortably middle-class in this town” depiction. The bizarre characters didn’t land because, in my experience, the rule of law in small communities in the south is “conform or be cast out”, and there were few to none punch lines regarding the bizarreness. The jokes didn’t land because the punch lines were unclear. The Theme didn’t land because 1. What theme?! Please someone tell me what the theme of that movie was 2. If the theme was “things are making us into zombies” then nothing in the movie supported that theme! Soliloquy in the last 30 seconds does not a theme make.

Anyway it was a lazy 1.5 hours: meandering, boring, and only a couple of laughs

[livvyofthelake]

tell me why the hell this piece of shit idiot movie thinks it can get away with killing everyone completely meaninglessly. i don’t mean the guy with the son who got his throat slit and i don’t mean arthur’s mothers i mean the entire. fucking. masses of people that just get slaughtered apparently endlessly. at this point who’s even left for him to fight for i mean seriously you’ve killed all his friends except the fiveish we know by name. you’ve killed all the women he was willing to die to protect. you’ve killed so many faceless townspeople and members of “the rebellion” whatever the hell you want that to mean. and none of it means anything, none of it fucking matters other than to show how Powerful and Evil the king is. now i thought this movie was supposed to be about charlie hunnam and a stupid ass magic sword. he has had ONE scene where he uses that sword to kill bad guys. we are well past the halfway point of this movie. i’m not even mad anymore i am just so deeply thoroughly disappointed that so many doubtless talented and hardworking people spent their precious time on earth being a part of the production of this miserable excuse for a film. you want me to believe king arthur is disaffected by the deaths of hundreds of people in his name and only cares about the three you named. you want me to believe he’s going to become the king and save everyone for. oh my god. for a girl. who by the way does not have a name just we’re clear. he’s storming the castle for a girl. and we can’t even kill the guy that murdered all his friends at the safehouse or whatever they’re calling that cave. we can’t even kill that guy. he’s not going to kill that guy. for what. because “any harm done to him will be returned tenfold to the mage and the little boy” or whatever? you are going to save those people. tonight. that is your plan. no one would even KNOW if you killed the messenger. fucking kill him i’m serious this is what’s bothering me. all of these people, his allies, his friends (not the ones we know by name of course) were SLAUGHTERED and the thing that i’m meant to believe he cares about is saving the girl. who by the way is magic. and i would assume very capable of saving herself not that a misogynist like guy ritchie would think of that. anyway. i’m annoyed. i feel sorry for everyone that worked on this movie it must be so absolutely soul crushing to work so hard to make a career in this industry and get a job on what’s supposed to be a big fun blockbuster type movie and spend months of your life working for this studio on this movie only for it to be so miserably callously disgracefully awful

[s-s-s-sideblog]

it’s literally just summer. that’s what it is. what do you mean two years ago i was extremely lonely and had nothing to do and an unstable home life and was filled with self hatred and then reading fanfiction about steve from stranger things getting railed within an inch of his life (among other things) genuinely changed my life. and also now that they’re filming again i’m reminded of the grip this silly little show has on my life which is so!! silly!! and i’m trying not to be embarassed because for the first time ever i have a solid friend group that doesn’t primarily consist of people who regularly engage in fandom culture. i think it’s the paradox of like. now that i’m socially accepted it’s harder to be weird because i actually have something to lose if people think i’m strange and off-putting. and also i have in fact spent nine straight weeks with people i don’t know well so i’m masking like 24/7, either by literally pretending to Be Normal or by putting up with the sensory nightmare that is my current living situation.

also i don’t currently have an ongoing piece of media that i’m extremely interested in and can talk about. like not even in an autistic way i just need something to engage with meaningfully because modern family reruns are no longer cutting it. and books are good but they make me sad and montreal makes me sad because it reminds me of loneliness. it reminds me of scream-crying at my dad in the airport because our flight got delayed and i didn’t know how to handle things like that yet. crying a lot, actually, because i love my dad but he doesn’t get it and no one does and actually i’m going to die alone because i am fundamentally unable to love someone wholly!! oh except for maybe my childhood best friend who i was waiting for to wake up one day and realize she was in love with me too but instead she ditched me for the first man who was nice to her. and now we don’t talk and i see her tumblr posts still and sometimes they’re just batshit insane and make me wonder what kind of person she’s become. and actually i think i’m just isolated because i’ve seen almost no one except my coworkers and the fucking townspeople since may. but also sometimes when my friends say they love me i don’t believe them. and lily told me i was a beautiful soul when she was drunk and i went to bed and cried because i was convinced that if she Knew The Truth she’d change her mind (what even is The Truth??). and that i held my breath and squeezed my other friend’s hand when i saw someone i didn’t want to see and she made and offhand comment about me being scared of him and i’m not, not really, not of him, i just know that we’re not so different and everyone did hate him once they Knew The Truth and even though everyone says i’ve never done something as horrible as he has so i shouldn’t worry i don’t know if that’s true. and christ what does it say about me that i cared for him? (loved him? wanted him to love me? did i even?) that i saw myself in him? that i kinda thought i was being used but i let him do it because i liked the attention? that this fucking mealworm of a man is always in the back of my mind, like a devil on my shoulder, like a snake waiting to strike? what the fuck does it say about me, this borderline psychosexual obsession? i think it says that i’m still secretly convinced that if i hate him enough i will kill the part of myself that is like him. but i don’t hate him, because i don’t really truly hate many people, but also because i don’t hate myself. because i know there’s a world where i didn’t get better and i turned out like him and i would want the world to have sympathy for me so it makes me feel sympathy for him. himhimhimhimhim jesus christ it’s embarassing to think this way about a man i knew for less than a year. but also shaming myself will only make it worse, like when you punch a non-newtonian fluid. there’s no wrong way to feel. there’s no wrong way to feel. i’m not hiding anything. i swear i’m not. sometimes i wonder what i’m hiding without meaning to, though.

[confrontthefamiliar]

A blessed new moon Scorpio

I have no god I thought

But I meant I have no man

And I’ve still yet to find out how I can

Still just be not a fraud

I learned 3 old friends started working for the state

What the fuck

When we gonna get some fucking allegiance

My life’s a whole pledge of allegiance now

To humanity I guess

Sometimes I pledge nothing

I just try to stay alive

Time is shrinking again and I start to feel a fondness for this year

Like oh I love myself

She did such a good job

Climbing all day then meeting a boy at the lake

Beautiful tahoe summer

I commemorate the beauty

And memorialize the fun

And try to let go of all the sadness

All that snow

And I try to think about the gold in the rocks

The orange powder of rock

The sweat of the rock and your hand

The ropes holding your life

The way you hold onto your life

And then let it go like sand

Alpine towns are so trendy this funny girl tells me

I thought she was going to be more like this other girl who I think hated me but I could never tell

But then she was actually more like a hilarious clown

This other girl says

Truckee is so bro-y

I like Nevada City more

Me too I agree

The best part of this town is how much we all hate it

I gotta really hang out more I thought

I get so worn out

Like old clothes

I watch my body age like old clothes

Do I really need a new place or am I freaking out

If I’m a freak isn’t that what I’m supposed to do anyways

Wouldn’t that be better if people freaked out more

Like in the office

Or on an escalator in a suburban mall

Or waiting in line for coffee

Or on the subway

But I guess that happens all the time on the subway now

People freaking out

It’s quite funny

When you’re happy

To think about freaking out

But when you’re sad it’s so scary

Mac Miller was on the play list

So I played him until I cried

I’m still happy

I’m only crying because he’s dead

For that sheer loss of genius so young

That effort in a boy

I’m so grateful for his music

and I probably needed to cry

Like Julian at the smoke shop said

I gotta soften up

My will is so strong

It’s true

I get everything i want

Don’t you

But what about the money

Two sides every time it’s so funny

Maybe why u always catch me running

I like to see a million sides

And live a million lives

Scorpio season starts and I immediately feel strong

Like all the cells in my body regenerated

All my breath is squeaky clean

I trust myself

And I also don’t care so much about myself

I just know I gotta do what I gotta do

Doesn’t matter if the worlds going to shit

We all have our own worlds anyways

I trip in the city

City people are just like townspeople

No different really at all

Still carrying community

We’re all family

But I get worried the new guy can’t build houses like the old guy can

What good would he be in a disaster

Hard to tell what he could do with all his money

But at least he’s not depressed and he’s very funny

[whogavemoththerighttohyperfix]

Small things I love in “We Dont Talk about Bruno”

There’s gonna be a lot on this list also I’m doing it for all the other songs too!

How Mirabel completely trusts Pepa and Felix to ask about something

Idk I just love the idea that she kind of sees them as a second pare of parent ,

She isn’t gonna tell the outright but she trusts them to care

It’s nice

FELIXs GREY HAIRS, ITS AMAZING THE DETAIL

How he slightly shakes Mirabel to get his point across

The sun reflected in Mirabels glasses

Pepa shoving Felix back my pushing his face but she just lightly pushes Mirabel sholder

Pepa basically shooshing the two to make them stop

How the clothes and earrings move

Pepa shoving her hands on her hips

When pepa gets in Mirabels face she takes a confused step back

“BUT”

The whole “we dont talk about a certain person except that’s all we talk about” thing is so realistic I love it

Pepas hair

THE OUTFIT CHANGE TO THEIR WEDDING OUTFITS

Felix trying to catch up to Pepas movements before just ducking under her arm

Pepas face when Felix starts to sing

How pepa is doing bru is grin before being interrupted my Felix

“THUNDER”

How Felix just smiles as pepa gets annoyed

She just does this sometimes and he loves it about her

The little fingers up her arms <3

THE DANCING HOLY AHIT I LOVE IT

Mirabel shaking her shoulders the umbrellas having the columbian flag in them

Mirabels face when they start to come up to her

Felix just casually spinning Mirabel

Dolores voice, I love her

How Dolores is constantly holding Mirabels hand

The way Dolores wiggles her fingers

The swish noise when she moves her head

Also if you notice the sound in this scene is pushed to the max

You can hear headturns the swooshing if clothes footsteps MUCH louder than before

It’s a nice touch

Bruno being in the background

The little jump they make

“Ch ch ch”

Mirabels constantly confused face

The two dancing with their skirts

THE FACIAL EXPEESSIONS

whenever Mirabel is about to go in the direction you can see Bruno Dolores pulls her away

Dolores climbing on top of a drawer just for a dramatic shot

The way Mirabel acts confident for a second before backing down

Bruno’s little dance

The transition from Dolores to Camilo

THE AMAZING USE IF CAMILOS POWERS

the way Bruno’s shapeshift form is overly exaggerated and nothing like his usual self

It’s also got me thinking does Camilo turn into his version of her the person? Like now the actual person just their memory of them

THE WOOSH WHEN HE CHANGES OH MY GID

the rats I love them

How Camilo is jumping around the entire time

Also how extra he is

I’ve made another post about this but I love how gentil he is with Mirabel in his songs, the others aren’t violent but they throw her around a lot, and even when he catches her it’s really gentle and he puts her down so carefully

HER WALKING THROUGH THE HALL K LOVE IT

How the townspeople are upset with him for things that how would he even cause?

Like sir how did Bruno make you bald of fat???

How they circle around her and the little bellyroll

Isabella’s future being “perfect” and how Mirabel scoffs at her for it,

Camilo being extra as fuck in the background

The way Isabelas hair moves I love it

How the only way we can hear abuela is cause we’re hearing it from Dolores,

Dolores little spin

The pain in her voice I love it sm

The way the flowers move in the movie in general it’s so pretty I love it alot

How even though Isabela doaent want the wedding it still has to be perfect

“HeY sIs”

Mirabels verse, i don’t know what it is about it but I love it so much

The noise of the vision in her bag

“ISABELLA YOUR BOYFRIENDS HERE”

HOW IN THE END ALL THE VERSES COME TOGETHER SO PERFECTLY, THEY ALL SYNC SO WELL I LIVE IT

THE ANIMATJON KF THEM SETTING THE TABLE

HOW YOU CAM SEE MIRABEL IN THE BACKGROUND

ITS AMAZING

Also it’s kinda sad how they’re doing it right infrount of Bruno basically

I KINDA WISH THE YOUTUBE VERSUON WAS ON SPOTIFY I LIKE IT MORE

The pain on Mirabels face when she watches Luisa

How realistically she puts the pieces totgehe ya know

It doesn’t take her a billions year for tension and it doesn’t immediately skip to when it’s fixed

I just like how they did it

THE FANILY CIRCLING MIRABEL ,

ITS LOVELY

HOW FISHLADY TURNS TO DOLORES AND BEHIND THE SCENES SHE ACTUALLYPUTS THE BOWL DOWN

Their different dancing style and how Luisa is just crying

“HES HERE”

The way they show the vision, we already know it’s Mirabel but they still make it so shocking

“Don’t talk about Bruno, why did I talk about Bruno? Not a word about Bruno. I never should have brought up bruno!”

The entire thing is good donr even lie

This one is kind of short since I’ve already done so many analysis on it

I’m definitely doing all the other songs so I’ll add the links when I’m done them!

|| The family madrigal || Waiting on a miracle || surface pressure || we don’t talk about Bruno || what else can I do || dos orugitas || all of you ||

[banjokazooiey]

Helloooooooo! May I please request a Kakyoin x female reader who have their first time together? If this makes you uncomfortable, please ignore it! I love your writing! Your Kakyoin dating hcs were so cute 😭

*blushes and waves hand* y’all flatter me so much fr.. just a heads up for everyone I do NSFW stuff!!! u can request a lot of stuff no biggie, if you’re interested my pinned post has more info.. but vanilla stuff like this is always amazing and fine! but, let me end your wait, for my offering is here: First Time + Kakyoin HCs!

Kakyoin swears on his life he had something more ‘romantic’ planned for your first time; in fact, it was your first times together with each other and anyone in general; but regardless, the way it transpired, you wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

It was an indoors day, no doubt. Outside, rain was pouring, pounding against the windows of your apartment. Every now and then, there would be a streak of lightning, and the boom of thunder. When you woke up to it, you immediately told Nori to come over. It was video game day with your boyfriend.

He came over with some snacks- pop, chips, sweets, just general junk food. He was always so thoughtful, that’s one of the many traits you loved in your Noriaki. You’d already set up the Switch, fluffed up some pillows and blankets on the ground so you guys could properly cuddle (the couch wasn’t big enough).

Sitting down on the floor, back against the couch, he spread his legs so you could climb between them, your back leaning against his chest. In turn, he wrapped his arms around you, holding his Pro Controller. You had started a Stardew Valley save file, and you guys were already pretty far in; you’d gotten married (Nori might’ve teared up), finished the Community Center, and finally had just upgraded to have a nursery in the house.

You guys had gone about in-game day, watering the crops, talking to the townspeople, etc. Before you knew it, you had to race back to the cabin to sleep. When both of you entered the bed to sleep, a text box came up.

‘Should we have a baby?’ It was directed toward you, as if Noriaki had been saying it. Immediately you cooed, hitting yes. “Nori! We’re gonna have a baby!”

“O-oh, yeah?” His voice cracked. That was suspicious enough, but when the text box ‘Should we have a baby, Noriaki?’ came up, you looked down to see his hands trembling. What the hell was wrong with him?

And then you felt something hard against you. Inadvertently, you froze.

Nori picked up on your lack of action before glancing down to see he’d gotten a boner. Embarrassed, and frantically blushing, he immediately stood up and walked a few paces away. “I-er, I should, um, go, I’m sorry-“

“Noriaki.” He paused; you rarely said his full name, and your tone was pleading. Slowly, he turned around to face you.

“Do you.. wanna..?” You blushed, heat pooling in your abdomen at the thought of actually having sex with him. He was your favorite person; and incredibly chiseled and handsome; who wouldn’t want to fuck him?

“I don’t want you to feel pressured!” He exclaimed, a hand flying to the back of his neck to sheepishly rub there. “But, if.. if you wanna..”

You stood up and grabbed his hand, leading him to the bedroom with you. When you laid down on the edge of the bed, he hovered over you, hands hesitant on where to go.

“You can take off my clothes..”

That made his cock twitch. He nodded, lithe fingers sneaking under your shirt to brush the skin before grabbing the hem of your shirt to pull it over your head. Fuck, you weren’t wearing a bra. He let a little breath out, a hand going to one breast in order to knead it. His thumb and index finger moved to gently pinch the nipple; that got a cute little noise out of you, so he did it to both.

That made you moan.

“Noriii, don’t be a tease. I want you. I need you,” you whined. “I’ve wanted this for so long.. please?”

“Someone’s impatient,” he teased, now a little more confident. He slipped his fingers into your pants to gently pull them down, panties soon following. The wet spot made him feel like somehow he got harder; spreading your pussy lips with his fingers, he hummed. “Good, you’re already wet enough for me.”

Where did this sudden boost of confidence come from? How did he know what to do and say? Porn.

Quickly pulling his shirt over his head and pulling his pants and boxers down, his mouthwatering cock sprung out. It was longer than thicker, but still big. It seemed he actively trimmed the red pubes surrounding it, they were nicely groomed.

He was too horny to be self conscious.

Grabbing your hips, he pulled you a little closer. “Are you.. sure?”

“Nori, fuck me.”

That’s all it took for him to guide his cock in, slowly pushing into your warm pussy. It was a tight fit, and it was uncomfortable at first; you asked him to just let yourself get used to him for a second, and he was immediately receptive and let you start to feel better. It slowly morphed from pain into pleasure, and that’s when you gave him the clearance to start thrusting.

He was slow and shallow at first; for one, to not hurt you, and for two, to get used to such an overwhelming feeling of bliss. Considering his cock had only been in his fist before now, it was a big difference; but definitely not an unwelcome one.

Then, it became a little harder. The moans and whines that spilled out of your mouth encouraged him, and one of his hands tightly grasped yours while the other slowly rolled against your clit.

Then he really started picking up the pace. You wrapped your legs around his waist, unable to keep in the joyful moans emitting from you. He was hitting all the right spots, and was really good rubbing your clit; he was drunk on you, grunting and letting out small noises of pleasure himself.

You didn’t get to warn him before you came, but it was only a second before your warm walls convulsed around him, squeezing and milking him for all he was worth. Almost immediately, seed shot out of him, coating your insides with the sticky, white fluid. He gave a couple thrusts as both of you came down from your high before he fell onto the bed next to you.

Both of you were panting, just coming back to reality before meeting each other’s eyes and laughing for a minute.

“Fuck, I’m sorry. I wanted to make it nice for you, and romantic.. but.. I couldn’t help myself.” Noriaki nervously chuckled.

You grabbed both of his hands, twining your fingers together. “I like how this turned out, though. Maybe next time we can last longer than a couple minutes, though.”

Snorting, he nodded before grabbing you and pulling you closer. (He was still inside of you, but neither of you cared enough to separate.) Nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck, he gently kissed the skin there. “I love you.”

You combed your fingers through his cherry red hair. “I love you too, Nori. So.. um, maybe we should go have that baby?-“

He got hard again.

He didn’t hit yes to the baby for another hour or two.

[your-daily-biaswrecking]

I dunno if it's too late to make requests (and u can ignore this message if it is) but I have this idea that I'm completely incapable of writing, I was hoping for maybe..some kind of fantasy scenario where human reader meets fae or siren Taehyung once while they were both children and, maybe they kinda pinky promise to marry one another, only for her to have forgotten about the whole ordeal with time, maybe assuming it was all just her imagination, and years later into her adulthood he comes back, having never forgotten the reader? You can change this however you see fit in order to make it more your style, and smut isnt necessary of you don't want to add it in..😅 💕

You had heard about the stories. Heard about him. Perhaps that’s why you walked into the woods so late at night, with a full moon lighting your way. To see if they were true, or because you already believed them and wanted to see him. The woods, however, were empty and what an unsuspecting fellow would call normal. Undismayed, you sat by the big Oak tree until you felt your eyelids be weighed down from the weariness. For you were only eight and the night was growing older than you. From that point on, you were not sure if you dreamt of the boy or if he shook you awake, but you remembered the interaction like it was yesterday.

“You’re waiting for me.” Not a question but you still took it as one.

“No, I’m waiting for the fairy.”

The boy chuckled. He laid down next to you, eyes sparkling in the dark as if they were luminescent. “I like you. You’re pretty. It’s only why I appeared.”

You thought about all your classmates and your cousin’s friends. None looked like that boy. “I don’t know you.”

“Oh.” He shuffled closer until he could reach to extend a hand to you. “You can call me Taehyung.” You took his hand, introducing yourself as well. “I’m new here. Did I by any chance bother you or your folks? I apologize.”

You shrugged, looking away, still trying to catch a glimpse of the alleged creature that playfully appeared here and there to tease the townspeople. “You’re not bothering me. I don’t know about anyone else, though…”

“Haha.” The boy laughed in a forced way yet it felt genuine. Like he had indeed enjoyed your remark but laughter wasn’t a sound he could make by his nature. “I really like you. You’re very pretty,” he repeated. “Do you want to stay here with me forever?”

You eyed him from your peripheral vision. “You mean like… marry you?”

He frowned for a beat, analyzing your words. And then his face lit up— quite literally. “Yeah!” he chirped. “Yeah, something like that.”

You had never been proposed to before. Sure, you knew about all the boys that had a crush on you at school, and you knew about how cute you were because your parents and their friends always told you so. But Taehyung was better than all of them combined. “Okay,” you replied easily.

The young boy seemed so happy, reached out to grab a piece of your hair. And after a couple of sparks appeared, the strand had been cut off and was trapped between his fingers.

“Hey! What—”

Taehyung brought the strand to the side of his neck, pressing it against his skull, and with a couple more sparks, it was connected with his own hair. Standing out from his locks yet looking like he had grown it himself. “Now we’re married,” he said, speaking the word as if it was foreign to him.

“No,” you immediately interjected. “That’s not how people get married.”

“It’s not?”

You shook your head. “We need to walk down the aisle and have the pastor say I pronounce you husband and wife and kiss.”

“Kiss…” Taehyung gave it some thought. And then he snapped his fingers. “That’s right. We need to kiss.”

“And we can’t get married yet because we’re just children,” you continued to speak your wisdom to the confused boy.

“So when can we?”

“Hm…” You rubbed your chin because you had seen people do it on TV when they tried to think hard. “When we’re old. Like, old like my aunt! She is getting married next month.”

And the boy nodded obediently. “I can wait that long.” For your weird kind of ceremony. For his, you needn’t wait at all. All he needed was… a kiss. He leaned in, lips pursed and going straight for yours. And you gasped, getting up and running away, out of the woods, far from the boy you had just promised to marry.

You never saw him again. Which is why you were inclined to believe it was all just your childhood imagination going wild. Sometimes you got a very sudden urge to think about him, like he was mentally intruding on your life. But the older you got, the less you believed in fairies. And you got old… old like your aunt. And it was your turn to get married now.

Waiting in the dressing room alone to stare at your reflection in that mirror and take a few last, deep breaths before walking out for the nuptial rite, you didn’t expect to be disturbed by a strange and deep voice.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

Upon turning around, you saw a man. A novel man. Handsome and somewhat scary as he glared at you and charged towards your spot. “What?” you choked out before clearing your throat. “I- I don’t think you’re supposed to be back here.”

“You’re about to walk down that aisle and have the pastor say I pronounce you husband and wife and kiss that man?” he spoke in a breath, pointing to the door.

You were frozen, looking into his shiny eyes as if you were entranced. Not sure how to react in this odd situation, yet something about the man intriguing you. “Um… yeah?”

“You can’t!” he gasped. Eyes so wide and pleading you silently. “We were supposed to do that.”

“I’m sorry, who are you?”

“I’m your husband.” It wasn’t what you were expecting him to say, not in the slightest, but he seemed so confident of it he almost convinced you. “You’re mine, you can’t marry another man,” he insisted.

And right when you were about to open your mouth to tell him he was being insane, tell him you had no idea who he was and that he needed to get out, he called your name. Called your name in a way that was so fitting for it, like he was the only one who ever should be saying it. You paused, and you frowned. And you looked at him better. The man reached behind his neck and brought forward a strand of hair that didn’t match his own. Didn’t match because that was your hair. That dream… that dream hadn’t been a dream at all.

“I waited for you,” the boy-turned-man whispered, voice sounding as sad as his eyes looked. “I waited for as long as you needed. How can you do this to me?”

Your face was numb. And you shivered, shaking harder the more you let the realization sink in. “Tae- Taehyung?” you gulped. “You’re real?”

The man rushed to you, grabbed your face with both hands gently, fingers stroking your cheeks as if he knew tears were about to fall. “Of course. Who ever told you otherwise?”

You were lost for words, just staring into his eyes that were communicating more than you ever could. The boy from the woods had returned for you, just as promised. And now that he had you, he felt ready to finish what you two had started. This time, when he leaned in with his eyes closed and his lips on a straight line towards yours, you didn’t flinch, you didn’t pull or run away. Maybe it was the shock. Maybe it was just what was meant to happen. He kissed you and everything instantly changed. The bond completed. A bond unlike the mortal rituals you try to parody— that was a bond connecting your souls instead of a verbal agreement that could easily be broken by the human instability. And when he pulled away, you knew it, you felt it; you were indeed his and he was yours. Forever.

“Oh my God,” you mouthed. The feeling crushing you and making your mind race faster and faster. “Oh my— Fuck!” You were his and he was yours now. Forever. What would you do now? There was another man still waiting outside to marry you. “Fuck, fuck!”

“It’s alright,” Taehyung whispered, holding you tighter. Like he knew exactly what you were thinking about or could feel exactly what you felt. Perhaps he could. “Don’t worry. None of that will matter in a bit.”

He scooped your legs, lifting you up with ease you were certain no human being could possess. And he jumped out of the window and landed perfectly, even though that window was so high up. And you were in the woods within a blink of an eye, even though those woods were miles away. By that big, old Oak tree, where it all started. He was right, your meaningless mortal problems already appeared like so; you were with Taehyung now and it all seemed to make more sense than anything ever did in your life.

“You look so pretty,” the man spoke, drawing you back from your thoughts. “Like a fairy.” He chuckled, this time his laughter sounding better than the last. And then he kissed your cheek, and your neck, and it felt like each peck was gifting you whole years of life. “I’ve missed you. You never came to visit.”

“I’m sorry,” you breathed, flustered.

“It’s okay.” He was calm, looking at your eyes that you didn’t even know yet that they shined like his. “We have eternity ahead of us to be together.”

“Eternity?”

He chuckled again, music to your ears. And he leaned in to bite your bottom lip playfully. “Don’t you know, honey? Time flows strangely when you’re married to a fae.”

Masterlist

[vvitchering]

Tbobf finale thoughts real quick:

I have like 5 mins to write this before I have to get up for work so let’s go

I can’t figure out if I hated this or not

Like yeah they did end up with the same “oh they’re going to have to wrap this up REAL quick and dirty” pacing issue I’ve been worried about

But they didn’t even give us much good character stuff to smooth over the plot/pacing

Liked Din being loyal to Boba to the point where he’s willing to die but it would have been nice to have acknowledged WHY that is.

There were a lot of emotional gut punches in this episode that ended up being more emotional love taps due to lost or forgotten context and that’s….bizarre for a show as obsessed with flashbacks as this one is.

Like the only reason I even knew Cad Bane and Boba had previously established beef is because I glanced at a tumblr post about their unfinished duel from the clone wars show. That’s not the kind of fan knowledge you should be working off of…

Genuine question: how many of y’all even knew who Cad Bane was? If my brother hadn’t forced me to watch a few seasons of the clone wars I’d have had absolutely no goddamn clue who this joker was. (And I think a good percentage of Mando / TBOBF viewers may also be like me and aren’t big Star Wars buffs outside of these shows, so they’d have zero context for this interaction)

Lost opportunity to have the Tusken lady in black and the kid come back to help Boba. Yes I’m still upset about that, I was planning on dying mad about it.

Just…so very little of any of this finale made reasonable sense……..I’m gonna have to watch it again and do a play by play because it’s so jumbled in my head after one viewing

Luke really did put that infant in a ship and send him off to god knows where care of who the hell knows because he was angry he picked the beskar huh

Who’s the true baby here mr skywalker

This has been and will remain a “Luke Skywalker can fight me in the Denny’s parking lot and I’d win” house

Pacing aside since there’s not a lot to be done about that, this ep could have still been good if they’d given us even an ounce more context for some of these interactions.

It really feels like the writers were just stalling for time with this while finishing up Mando S3 which is a huge shame because this could have been GREAT as like an hour Boba Fett special or something. Trim the fat, do better with the Tusken story line, get rid of those GOD AWFUL mods, focus on what these events mean to BOBA (and Fennec), we could have had a real tight and punchy story.

Seriously fuck the mods everyone here hates the mods who’s idea we’re they

Blah blah other stuff happening I don’t even care about this nonsense at this point beyond watching my favorite little imaginary people run around on screen

Grogu should have taken the lightsaber too. Just for extra “piss off Luke” points.

I know Din didn’t take his helmet off this entire time because Pedro couldn’t actually be there to film, but I would have liked a nice helmet-less reunion scene with Grogu. Or a face reveal with Boba. I just miss Pedro’s handsome face ):

Boba did look really good this ep though 👌 and we’re almost back to his Mandalorian s2 levels of badassery in combat which was nice to see.

Bobadin shippers we won today

IM SO FUCKING GLAD COBB ISNT DEAD HOLY SHIT this was really the only thing I ever cared a little bit about djskdjsjjd

How’d he get there though

Did the townspeople bring him in? And for what? Did they know Boba had a bacta tank????

Or did Boba and co swing by and pick him up after the fight and bring him back? How’d he survive that long if it was an injury bad enough to take him out/keep him out/require the use of a bacta tank????

Oh god please don’t give him a whole ass robot arm like the fuckin mods I’ll scream. Give him a nice discreet job like Fennec’s. Please don’t make my boy cringe.

Anyway see y’all at Christmas time for Mando s3 💀

[mooooooosicals]

Bad summaries of Hatchetfield songs:

TGWDLM:

The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals: here comes the... well I wouldn't call him a boy. More like six foot tall office lad.

La Dee Da Da Day: musical townspeople do what musical townspeople do... harass the protagonist

What Do You Want Paul?: the number that you don't want to get stuck in your head during sex

Cup of Roasted Coffee: convincing braindead customers to buy shitty coffee with hips and harmonies

Cup of Poison Coffee: oh. oh they're evil now. ok. cool.

Show Me Your Hands: the acab song. it should have been a tap number, fuck you.

You Tied Up My Heart: kinky shit in the basement.

Join Us And Die: ma'am I appreciate the c#5 but this is a Wendy's

Not Your Seed: Alice has an appetite for nachos. And shooting her father dead.

Show Stopping Number: old man does what old men do best, tie up their former students in their basement and shake ass

America Is Great Again: I dare you to show this to That One Family Member. I dare you.

Let Him Come: I'm thoroughly disappointed with the lack of jokes in the fandom here. Missed opportunity.

Let It Out: dance, funky office man, dance

Inevitable: well shit, that's depressing. cool lighting, tho.

BLACK FRIDAY:

Wiggly Jiggle: capitalism, but make it cute and a little bit unsettling

What Tim Wants: thank you, Tom, very nice vocals. But sir I just met you I really don't give a shit.

CaliforM.I.A.: admit it, the best part of this song is Hannah dancing in the background

What Do You Say?: high school reunion but with more 🎵spice🎵. And choreographed thrusting, for some reason.

Our Doors Are Open: capitalism with a bouncy time signature

Feast or Famine: February 2020: the song

Monsters and Men: Johnny Mac n Cheese my beloved... and uh... who are these guys again? Sorry I got distracted by the fact that mac n cheese man is back.

Deck The Halls: pov: you're watching Black Friday for the first time and have not a damn clue what's going on. Wait Santa's a pedophi-

Take Me Back: oh look, the traumatized couple sings! And... fucks-

Adore Me: MILF becomes a murderous MILF, even better

Do You Want To Play?: Other fandoms took one look at this song and said "fReE rEaL eStAtE"

Made In America: really good song for a really unnecessary plotline

Black Friday: teenager sings while being choked. That. That makes no sense.

Monsters and Men (reprise): so now they have powers all of a sudden? Did I miss something??

If I Fail You: again, Tom, pretty vocals, I don't give a shit

Wiggle: townspeople shake ass and moan for an ugly ass kids toy

What If Tomorrow Comes?: the child sings and then goes boom. we think. we're not sure.

NIGHTMARE TIME SEASON 1

Nightmare Time Theme: everyone is evil now, I guess

The Hatchetfield Ape-Man: ya like jazz?

The Blinky Song: Blinky is a shitty boss and the Sniggles need to unionize

Snoozle Town: I feel like we've heard this song before-

With A Thousand Eyes: TTO is in the HFU?!?!

Forever And Always: oh my god we're so in love uwu owo 🥺🥺

Time Bastard: woman. Pretty woman. Pretty woman singing.

Peanuts!: this song is probably therapy after that mindfuck of an episode.

Jane's A Car: we should make this song a Rick Roll in the fandom. How can you even take a song about a sad man wanting to fuck his car seriously anyway?

The Witch In The Web: little girl plays a ukelele but like. with magic.

The Web I Spin For You: spider lady sings and makes me gay

[grumpyhedgehogs]

Custody Battle

An outline for an atla fic that I will probably never write but was fun to make anyway.

when Zuko first becomes the Fire Lord, all the other nations are, of course, not super excited that the previous Fire Lord’s SON is on the throne. I mean, seriously Aang, didn’t we JUST fight a war to get rid of this guy’s father? why would we expect his son to be any different?

He is, Aang says. You’ll see.

The Earth Kingdom is the first to get a visit from Fire Lord Zuko after the coronation. even without super secret scary police agents ready to brainwash ppl at a moment’s notice, they have quite a large army. lots of guards. lots of pointy weapons on show when Fire Lord Zuko steps inside the gates. He is wearing the yellow and green clothes of the Earth Kingdom peasants. Nobody knows how to tell him he should probably change. 

Are those swords made of stone? Fire Lord Zuko asks. That’s amazing. Can I see how you do it? Are they heavier than Dao? How do you carry them around?

Uh. Says the Earth Kingdom. They’re more for show than anything else. We fight with regular steel, not that a firebender would care.

Bending can be taken away, Fire Lord Zuko says. Steel lasts. Sorry about my dad btw.

Yeah he was kind of a dick, the Earth Kingdom says.

Yeah he banished me when I was thirteen, so like. I get it. Fire Lord Zuko says.

How old are you now? The Earth Kingdom asks, not really wanting an answer.

Sixteen. Hey can I spar with someone with a stone sword, says an extremely young and polite Fire Lord whose father abandoned him as a child. There a rumors about his scar.

 Fire Lord Zuko stays for a long time; he likes to mingle with the townspeople. He gives out way too much money and he sits with the wounded soldiers--soldiers his father sent men out to kill, soldiers who probably would have killed Fire Lord Zuko in a second only weeks ago--and he tells stories to children in the street and gives them sweets and offers to help them find their mothers if they’re lost. 

Hey can we have our Fire Lord back now, says the Fire Nation. It’s been like, a month. 

No. Says the Earth Kingdom. He’s ours now.

We kinda need him, the Fire Nation says.

We kinda don’t care, the Earth Kingdom says. And if you try to take him back it is officially war again. So there.

Hey Southern Water Tribe, could you help us out, asks the Fire Nation. We don’t want to start a war again.

Oh sure, hang on. The Southern Water Tribe says. Sokka says he’s cool so we’ll send our chief out to get him. 

Hey I’m here to take you home, says Chief Hakoda. Get in the ship.

Okay, says Fire Lord Zuko, oblivious to the battle between the Earth Kingdom soldiers and tribesmen behind him. Wow, I haven’t thought of the Fire Nation as a place that wants me back in a long time. Oh hey, your ships are made of wood. How do you build them? Can I see? I could help with rigging, I sailed around the world looking for the Avatar for three years.

Aang only came back like, a little while ago, Hakoda says.

Yeah, I wasn’t actually supposed to find him and come back home, says Fire Lord Zuko. How are Sokka and Katara?

Hey Southern Water Tribe, where’s our leader at, says the Fire Nation. We hired you guys like three months ago, come on man.

No idea. Haven’t seen him, says the Southern Water Tribe. 

Fire Lord Zuko says he’s never worn blue before.  He has to have help figuring out a parka and he looks like a disgruntled turtleduck the whole time. He gets into snowball fights with kids and lets them tackle him into the snowbank. He’s pretty good at fishing. Their hearths are never cold. 

Southern Water Tribe we know you have our Fire Lord the Earth Kingdom won’t shut up about it. The Fire Nation says. Give him back. 

Suck our collective dick, says the Southern Water Tribe.

Northern Water Tribe? Asks the Fire Nation. We are literally begging at this point.

We’re staying out of this. Says the Northern Water Tribe. But the Southern Water Tribe is out sister tribe anyway, so like. Suck our dick too, I guess.

Avatar, says the Fire Nation. They won’t give our leader back.

I told you he was cool, says Aang when the nations have a meeting (it is a ransom for Fire Lord Zuko and no one wants anyone else to collect the money. Although the Northern Water Tribe is willing to take it). But also we did just finish a war so like. Please don’t start one again.

We want joint custody, say the other nations.

Absolutely not we had to go through this guys dad and his sister to get him back, says the Fire Nation. Give up or shut up.

Hey, say the Kyoshi Warriors. We stole the Fire Lord when you weren’t looking. Later losers.

Oh for fuck’s sake, says the Fire Nation.

[shtern-and-art]

In The Dark – a cryptid AU about Bad and Skeppy – part 1.

All text is captioned under the cut!

BACKGROUND

Story is set somewhere in the 90s – neon colors and the brink of major improvements in lgbtq+ status at least in US.

The place we’re in is a small nameless town near the forest, and let’s say it’s the US, but in my mind it has an old European country feel to it too. At least in the small old towns like this. With old buildings, and paved roads, and steep roofs, and everything.

The forest is very dense and not much light gets in the deeper parts of it, so it’s called The Dark Forest which may sound quite unoriginal. But no one really calls it that. With how many weird things happen in that forest, among the locals, it is mostly referred to as “bad forest”. To the point that it’s basically the common name for it now.

SKEPPY

Skeppy is a Thing. A supernatural thing. The sort of thing that, unlike most spn things, hangs out around humans a lot. Socialized thing. Because, due to his spn nature, he has a compulsion/tendency (and desire) to create small mayhem and chaos around himself, disrupt communities. And also because he’s a changeling and initially was brought up by people.

But the way he is, he can’t stay living in one place/town for too long, always having to bounce before people clock him, or stuff gets too intense.

He’s name is still Zak, it’s the one his human parents gave him. However, he officially changed it to something different in all records after leaving home at 18, cuz names are important for creatures, and having his real one out there might be dangerous.

Generally, he still goes by Skeppy.

Skeppy can consciously do minor mimicry and illusions (by light bending)/cause light dissociation/confusion in people and creatures around him/do other minor mind tricking fae stuff.

He is drawn to nature and shiny things, although nature can be just a potted plant, and a shiny thing – anything from a gemstone to pieces of broken glass. Skeppy doesn’t know this yet, but I’m pretty sure he can find more valuable gems and metals by pure instinct. But he never explored it properly, and he just thinks that he likes collecting pretty rocks. Skeppy has at least 3 of them on himself at any time.

Evidently, he is not fully aware of everything about himself, and he didn’t have much contact with other creatures like him.

He is just. Living his life. Going from city to city, trying to have a good time.

THE STORY

Skeppy comes to a new little town near the forest. Forests are good for him, even if he still prefers to be around people.

And he’s just chilling, trying to settle in and shake things up a bit, roaming the woods to kick up old local rumors about a werewolf.

Speaking of, the town has a LOT of old rumors with the fleur of a little-town-near-the-woods creepiness to them. Like a werewolf, yeah, and crazy cults, and people making sacrifices in the woods, all that jazz.

But it’s all alright, all quiet now. All those things are always told by an uncle of a cousin of a grandpa’s friend, and, you know. Older people. Not a lot of townsfolk believe in these stories nowadays.

So Skeppy freely roams for a while: both the town, and the woods.

BACKGROUND

Local tree logging business is starting up again – twice removed cousin of the old owners brother’s son inherited the company. He’s fresh out of college, and came to bring Industry and Movement back to the little town he visited couple summers as a kid.

Some decades ago the wood export was what kept the town moving and bustling. It chipped away at the forest for many decades, bringing jobs and new people and everything.

But something happened back then, some shady business: perhaps money laundering gone wrong, or some out-of-town mafia dealings that came with the trades. That’s what the papers said at least. For a while, there were complaints of not safe work environment, and lawsuits flying, and rabid animal attacks happening on the outskirts of town (that’s where the werewolf rumors started).

But it’s been quite some time since then. It’s all settled now, old news, and the new generation doesn’t care much, and the twice removed cousin of the old owners brother’s son can start everything anew.

There’s hope and change in the air and the factories are getting upgraded.

THE STORY

So yeah, Skeppy roams the woods, and townspeople nowadays are starting to roam deeper in the woods too! Both because the woods came closer to the town again, and because people tend to… forget. Some young people, at least, who have nothing to remember or fear in the first place. Having all their hormones to fly, and baseball bats to swing, and beer cans to shoot.

The deeper woods are dark, there are a lot of good old trees in their prime time for logging, that make a lot of dark shadows to lurk in. And those are very nice for Skeppy, who can easily fuck with packs of teenagers and with elderly berry pickers. He can make them see things, and believe things, and prop up some fake cultist memorabilia on clearings and wolf fur in the bushes near the pass. And then he’d chat up the middle-aged workers at evenings, and watch it all unfold slowly, rumors spreading across town, giving Skeppy that little, small glow of joy, which that freaky, but harmless trickery always brings him.

It’s all going well and good, even better than expected! Even with that weird forest spirit Skeppy always felt lurking deeper in the woods. That thing was alright. Just there, watching. And Skeppy didn’t do anything too bad or disrespectful, he was pretty sure.

So, when the watching becomes following, and following becomes stalking and threatening, it… doesn’t feel right. Deep in the woods, deers and rabbits keep watching Skeppy’s back, and the trees are so tall it feels like the forest floor is the bottom of the ocean.

When stags stroll through the dark to you, carrying dead animals’ bodies on their antlers, that’s a pretty bad sign, right? Almost as bad as when the shadowy figure, that kept clop-clopping around you for the last couple of weeks, starts chasing you through the trees. And Skeppy just started setting up another “pagan ritual” site near the old berry picking trail!

Turns out, the forest spirit is a dang forest demon or something! And is also an asshole, who doesn’t want Skeppy (with his little True Detective stick figures and mayhem) on his territory.

(This is pretty much where the comic happens! And, yes, Skeppy also being a creature doesn’t mean much. Because Skeppy is too annoying, and too human-like to take seriously.)

So yeah, the Asshole In The Woods chases Skeppy out of them, but Skeppy doesn’t skip towns after that, oh no. He is a stubborn bitch, and he’s already settled, and he even found a small job… and unsettling and leaving is incredibly easy, yeah, but he DIDN’T DO ANYTHING WRONG. The Asshole In The Woods will see, he’ll understand. Skeppy is good at trick- well, talking himself out of trouble. Almost as good as he is at getting in it.

So, obviously, Skeppy keeps coming back to the woods whenever he can. And if the shadow demon asshole doesn’t come out to run him off immediately, he busts out his fake werewolf furs, props occult stick figures around, puts up tents like people were camping nearby, insults the trees, and duct tapes leaflets from local businesses on the them… Because irritating other creatures is just as fun as fucking shit up for people.

And this little turf-war settling is the most fun Skeppy had in a long, long while (possible death aside).

They meet up pretty regularly, getting various irritation and scare levels from each other. And the asshole shadow forest demon is creepy and all, but despite the big bad wolf attitude he never actually tries to kill or maim Skeppy. Or so it seems. So, it’s all going well. Yeah. Just better to lay off all the occult trolling, since it seems to make the forest asshole guy especially mad and uncomfortable.

(Basically this is the early trolling period, with Skeppy being annoying and pushing the boundaries, very close to how their videos of the time went).

And, again, Skeppy didn’t meet a lot of other cryptids, and the ones he found didn’t stick around for long. Because Skeppy is too much of a little shit, and “a low-tier human bootlicker”, anyway. So yeah, maybe Skeppy IS a little bit lonely. Been lonely for a while, now, hitchhiking around the country, never staying anywhere long enough to let people get that something is wrong in the air around him, or form any kind of lasting relationship. So what.

At least this asshole will not rat him out to anyone, or run away into the night with all Skeppy’s money. Probably.

So what’s the harm if sometimes they just argue instead of trying to one-up each other in magic trickery?.. Nothing bad will happen if, from time to time, they’ll just talk instead of shouting about who’s right and who should leave. It’s alright. It doesn’t even matter. No one in the town or spn world knows or cares about any of that. About both of them.

So they hang out more often. And if each time the forest asshole looks a little less scary, and more often takes his human-like shape, well. Maybe it’s just for convenience? Anyway, it’s easier to roll your eyes and turn your back on a fuming person, than a pissed off all-encompassing shadow, so Skeppy isn’t complaining. Especially if the person-shape is so nice to look at, too.

And Skeppy doesn’t know who exactly the forest asshole is, but in the town it’s always “bad forest this” and “bad forest that”. So, in Skeppy’s head, it becomes “Bad’s forest” – because he’s “the Bad in the Forest, heheh, get it, get it?”

Bad does get it. He isn’t as impressed as he should be by Skeppy’s genius puns and naming abilities though.

Speaking of Bad. He seems to be not really aware of what’s been going on in the town for the last couple decades. He tends to mostly hang out in the minds of forest animals, help them out a bit. Or nap. Nap a lot – days, weeks, years at a time, dissolved in the shadows. Unless someone (like can shooting teenagers, tree logging companies, or Skeppy) come around to bother his peaceful, dissociated, and at times even thoughtless existence.

Bad doesn’t mind though. Or so he says. The sleeping, that is. The people, them he really minds, people from the town especially. He really wants to be left alone by them. Discovering that Skeppy wasn’t from these parts of the country was one of the reasons Bad started to warm up to him.

The other major warm up was the first time Skeppy helped Bad scare off the messy annoying kids that were littering in the woods. But he convinced Bad to do it in a long winded, silly and fun (for them, not the kids :D) way. And after a while, teamed up like this, spooking and chasing people off, stopped being an irritating chore, and instead became something Bad looked forward to. Maybe even, put off his shadowy slumber for.

It’s been a long, long time since Bad actually wanted to stay awake like that. Wanted to do something, consciously, to talk to someone. That’s why he’s a “little rusty with all this communication thing”, he admits to Skeppy.

Bad never tells him how horribly bitter, and sad, and alone he was for years and years, huddled in the shadows. How he hid from that sadness, and from the people and their voices, and from the sound of their footsteps on the leaves. He ran away from them – in the soft, inhuman minds of the animals, and restless dreams, where his mind and sense of self stretched, and scattered across the forest, forgetting itself, and just living with all the living things. Of course, Bad doesn’t tell Skeppy about that. He always had his animals, and the secret springs, and little kids tying wishing charms on the branches of the old trees… Bad is fine. He just wants to be left alone.

Or at least wanted to. Because now, after staying awake for so long, it seems that he wants other things too. To troll snotty stuck up teens and kids. To learn more about new technology. To play with the shadows on the edges of clearings, and listen to the music player left behind by one of the kids he and Skeppy chased off.

And one day. One day sunbeams are dancing around the edge of the clearing deep in the woods, and Skeppy is lounging lazily in the grass, playing with his pretty glass shards, making light refract and reform through them, sending dozens of sun bunnies crawls and jump between the peaceful trees. That day Bad feels like his skin is warm, not cooled down by the shadows. And with that warmth – on his face, and in his chest – Bad finds that he can talk about it. That he can say it.

Bad tells Skeppy that back in the day, some decades ago (time is difficult for him to take note of)… that back then. He was a human. But he isn’t now, not anymore. Now he is part of the Forest. Kind of.

Because, see, something bad, really bad happened back then, and Bad got possessed by the, well. The spirit of the forest.

And he was living like this ever since.

Masterpost / first meeting /part 1 / part 2 / part 3

[bamf-jaskier]

Okay so I’m going to try and do a comparison of some of the major scenes between Geralt and Yennefer in Bottled Appetites vs The Last Wish. 

Warning: this is a very long post and I tried to keep it as short as possible but Geralt and Yennefer is the relationship that is mainly focused on in both the short story and the show so there’s..a lot of content here. 

Now, before I really jump in it’s important to note that the show is basically the spark notes version of the book, there’s a lot of missing content in the show mostly because the book just has so much more complexity so for a brief timeline:

Jaskier is injured

Talks to Chireadan 

Meets Yennefer

Take Bath Together 

Yennefer mind-controls Geralt and send him off to go fight some council members

THEN this is where the show and book differ 

In the books, Yennefer’s mind-control has more obvious consequences and Geralt gets into legal trouble and there’s a whole scene with some town leaders threatening Geralt and Jaskier. (Although it is important to note Yennefer in the books has a back-up plan to save Geralt)

As well when Geralt goes to stop Yennefer in the books from capturing the Djinn  she portals away with Geralt and they hate-crash a Noble’s party before having a conversation and fighting the Djinn again, Geralt makes his third wish and then they have sex 

So basically the townspeople sub-plot is removed in the show and the Djinn fight is streamlined into one-scene instead of multiple. Now understanding that, let’s get into the scene comparisons. 

Geralt Meeting Yennefer:

The Last Wish:

“You parried my spell,” she finally said. “You're not a sorcerer; that's obvious. But you reacted exceptionally fast. Tell me who you are, stranger who has come in peace. And I advise you to speak quickly.”

“I’m Geralt of Rivia. A witcher.”

Yennefer leaned out of the bed, grasping a faun—engraved on the pole—by a piece of anatomy well adapted to being grasped. Without taking her eyes off Geralt, she picked a coat with a fur collar up off the floor and wrapped herself up in it tightly before getting up. She poured herself another mug of juice without hurrying, drank it in one go, coughed and came closer. Geralt discreetly rubbed his lower back which, a moment ago, had collided painfully with the wall.

“Geralt of Rivia,” repeated the sorceress, looking at him from behind black lashes. “How did you get in here? And for what reason? You didn't hurt Berrant, I hope?”

“No. I didn't. Lady Yennefer, I need your help.”

“A witcher,” she muttered, coming up even closer and wrapping the coat around her more tightly. “Not only is it the first one I’ve seen up close but it's none other than the famous White Wolf. I’ve heard about you.”

“I can imagine.”

“I don't know what you can imagine.” 

She yawned, then came even closer. “May I?” She touched his cheek and looked him in the eyes. He clenched his jaw. “Do your pupils automatically adapt to light or can you narrow and dilate them according to your will?”

“Yennefer,” he said calmly, “I rode nonstop all day from Rinde. I waited all night for the gates to open. I gave your doorman, who didn't want to let me in, a blow to the head. I disturbed your sleep and peace, discourteously and importunately. All because my friend needs help which only you can give him. Give it to him, please, and then, if you like, we can talk about mutations and aberrations.”

She took a step back and contorted her lips unpleasantly. “What sort of help do you mean?”

“The regeneration of organs injured through magic. The throat, larynx and vocal cords. An injury caused by a scarlet mist. Or something very much like it.”

The Show:

Yennefer: And quite a bit more. You’re immune.

Geralt: You must be the mage.

Yennefer: Yennefer of Vengerberg. 

Geralt: Hm. Chireadan didn’t mention that, uh…

Yennefer: What did he fail to mention?

Geralt: We need your help.

Yennefer: “We”? [Geralt looks to Jaskier who gives a feeble wave.] Just a friend, I hope? [Geralt looks back at her.] Your heartbeat, it’s extraordinarily slow. You’re… a mutant.

Geralt: A witcher. Geralt of Rivia.

Yennefer: The famous White Wolf! [Standing up she steps close to Geralt.] I thought you’d have fangs or horns or something.

Geralt: I had them filed down.

Yennefer: [chuckles] First time I’ve seen a witcher up close. [She circles him, looks him over.] What little spells can you cast with your hands? Call it professional curiosity.

Geralt: Please, Jaskier here needs immediate attention. And then, if you’d like, I’ll indulge your curiosity all night long.

Yennefer: It won’t take all night. But I’m sure we can find a way to fill the time.

Geralt: [holding up the small sack with the pot’s shards] He was attacked by a djinn.

Yennefer: A djinn?

Geralt: Whatever’s wrong with him, it’s spreading. [Yennefer takes the sack and inspects the contents.] Fix it and I’ll pay you. Whatever the price.

Yennefer: You’ll have to do better than juice. [to the undulating figures] "Ragamuffin"!

In the books there is no orgy sequence, instead Yennefer has been mainly just been fucking with the merchant Beau Berrant, who in the show is the Mayor of Rinde. The apple juice sequence occurs in both adaptations and Geralt goes to Yennefer. In the books, Yennefer is alone in Berrant’s bedchambers, in the show she is in the orgy sequence. If you read the passages, they share the same bare bones. Yennefer tries to bespell Geralt, he is immune, she comments on his mutation, Geralt asks for help. 

Yennefer and Geralt have the same flirtatious overtones in both adaptations. Honestly I don’t have much to say here because it parallels relatively well as far as characterization goes. I will say I prefer the book’s prose but I also understand that the show has more simplistic writing and wording. 

Anya Chalotra has fantastic energy in playing Yennefer and the tension between the actors in this scene are quite apparent. 

Bathing Together:

The Last Wish:

She entered the bath-chamber just as Geralt, sitting naked on a tiny stool, was pouring water over himself from a bucket. He cleared his throat and modestly turned his back to her.

“Don't be embarrassed,” she said, throwing an armful of clothing on the hook. “I don't faint at the sight of a naked man. Triss Merigold, a friend, says if you've seen one, you've seen them all.”

He got up, wrapping a towel round his hips.

“Beautiful scar.” She smiled, looking at his chest. “What was it? Did you fall under the blade in a sawmill?”

He didn't answer. The sorceress continued to observe him, tilting her head coquettishly.

“The first witcher I can look at from close up, and completely naked at that. Aha!” She leaned over, listening. “I can hear your heart beat. It's very slow. Can you control how much adrenalin you secrete? Oh, forgive me my professional curiosity. Apparently, you're touchy about the qualities of your own body. You're wont to describe these qualities using words which I greatly dislike, lapsing into pompous sarcasm with it, something I dislike even more.”

He didn't answer.“Well, enough of that. My bath is getting cold.” Yennefer moved as if she wanted to discard her coat, then hesitated. “I’ll take my bath while you talk, to save time. But I don't want to embarrass you and, besides, we hardly know each other. So then, taking decency into account—”

“I’ll turn around,” he proposed hesitantly.“No. I have to see the eyes of the person I’m talking to. I’ve got a better idea.”

He heard an incantation being recited, felt his medallion quiver and saw the black coat softly slip to the floor. Then he heard the water splashing.

“Now I can't see your eyes, Yennefer,” he said. “And that's a pity.”

The invisible sorceress snorted and splashed in the tub. “Go on.”

The Show:

[Later, in the bathroom, Geralt takes a bath while Yennefer keeps him company]

Yennefer: Fishing for a djinn seems an extreme measure to remedy sleeplessness.

Geralt: When extreme measures seem reasonable, yes, I’m desperate.

Yennefer: And yet you didn’t ask me to help with that.

Geralt: Looming death kind of jumped the queue. Now I’m wondering if I can afford you. Have I accidentally agreed to indentured servitude? [Yennefer notices his scars.] Go ahead, ask about them. Everyone does.

Yennefer: Everyone else is boring. [She undresses and steps into the tub.] Turn around.

Geralt: [Tries to look at her in a mirror, but Yennefer moves it with magic so he can’t see] That’s cheating.

Yennefer: Nobody smart plays fair. Tell me, are all witchers similarly blessed? [She sits down so they’re back to back.] Come now, you promised.

Geralt: Hm. I haven’t conducted a survey, but I’d hardly say we’re blessed.

Okay!! Now I can get more into the characterization differences because oh boy are there some here. First, Yennefer mentions Triss in the books which I would have loved to see in the show but the main thing here is how they objectify each other. In both adaptations, Yennefer notices Geralt’s scars when they begin to bathe together but in the books, Yennefer uses it as a way to pry more into the biological functions of Witchers whereas in the show she uses it as a way to talk about their shitty childhoods. 

This ties into how the show, instead of focusing on the more biological aspects of Witchers, focuses on the tragic backstory of the characters. Of course, Lauren is of the mindset (like much of fandom) that Witchers are more animalistic while Sapko really pushes the idea that Witchers are creations of science so it makes sense the show wouldn’t want to talk about Witcher science as much. 

As well, in the books, Geralt is rather respectful to Yennefer, promising to avert his gaze and she ends up turning invisible so she can objectify him but he can’t objectify her. It places Yennefer in charge and the obviously more powerful force in the room. 

In the show, Geralt tries to take a peak at Yennefer and they sit back to back, establishing them as equals. And this is no mistake. In the books, Yennefer is quite a bit older than Geralt, she is powerful mage and Geralt is just a guy. Yennefer is the one in power in their relationship and that is obvious in every aspect of their relationship. 

The show made Geralt 32 years older than Yennefer. They push a narrative of Yennefer and Geralt being on more equal footing (or even at times go as far as to make Geralt seem the more mature and older one which we will see later with Yennefer not being aware of the Wish). 

This reverses a lot of the show/book dynamic where instead of Yennefer being the dominant one she is on equal footing with Geralt. Of course, this is likely due to Henry Cavill being around 37 and Anya Chalotra being around 23. Hollywood is allergic to the older woman/younger man dynamic that is seen in the books so making Yennefer seem younger is not a problem specific to The Witcher but with Hollywood at large.  (Not to say it isn’t still bad to see this perpetuated in the show because it is)

Yennefer mind-controlling Geralt:

The Last Wish:

“He's asleep,” said Yennefer. “And dreaming.”

Geralt examined the patterns traced on the floor. The magic hidden within them was palpable, but he knew it was a dormant magic. It brought to mind the purr of a sleeping lion, without suggesting how the roar might sound.

“What is this, Yennefer?”

“A trap.”

“For what?”

“For you, for the time being.” The sorceress turned the key in the lock, then turned it over in her hand. The key disappeared.

“And thus I’m trapped,” he said coldly. “What now? Are you going to assault my virtue?”

“Don't flatter yourself.” Yennefer sat on the edge of the bed. Dandilion, still smiling like a moron, groaned quietly. It was, without a doubt, a groan of bliss.

“I already knew what you were like,” she continued, “after exchanging a few words with you in Beau's bedroom. And I knew what form of payment I’d demand from you. My accounts in Rinde could be settled by anyone, including Chireadan. But you're the one who's going to do it because you have to pay me. For your insolence, for the cold way you look at me, for the eyes which fish for every detail, for your stony face and sarcastic tone of voice. For thinking that you could stand face-to-face with Yennefer of Vergerberg and believe her to be full of self-admiration and arrogance, a calculating witch, while staring at her soapy tits. Pay up, Geralt of Rivia!”

She grabbed his hair with both hands and kissed him violently on the lips, sinking her teeth into them like a vampire. The medallion on his neck quivered and it felt to Geralt as if the chain was shrinking and strangling him. Something blazed in his head while a terrible humming filled his ears. He stopped seeing the sorceress's violet eyes and fell into darkness.He was kneeling. Yennefer was talking to him in a gentle, soft voice.“You remember?”

“Yes, my lady.” It was his own voice.

“So go and carry out my instructions.”

“At your command, my lady.”

“You may kiss my hand.”

“Thank you, my lady.”He felt himself approach her on his knees. 

Ten thousand bees buzzed in his head. Her hand smelt of lilac and gooseberries. Lilac and gooseberries…Lilac and gooseberries…A flash. Darkness.

The Show:

Yennefer: If you wake him before he’s healed, the spell won’t take. That’s no way to treat a friend, Geralt.

Geralt: You want the djinn, but the amphora’s broken. The djinn’s already long gone. [Suddenly the candles around the sign flare up.]

Yennefer: [rubbing perfume onto her wrists] Do go on. Tell me how stuff works. The djinn is tied to this plane and its master. How many wishes did the bard express before he lost his voice?

Geralt: You need Jaskier to make his last wish so you can capture it.

Yennefer: So that’s… two then.

Geralt: The djinn will fight you. If you try and bend it- [He breaks off, clears his throat then inhales.] Ah… That scent… Lilac and…

Yennefer: Gooseberries. [Geralt exhales sharply.] Tough to get in your head. You have a strong will, but you can’t contend with me. Sorry I couldn’t be direct, I knew you’d fight it. [She leans up to kiss him, bites on his bottom lip until it bleeds.] And I do love a good old-fashioned trap.

Geralt: [slurring] A good old-fashioned… nap. [His eyes flutter shut.]

I mentioned how the show is a spark notes? Well, in the books Yennefer finds out through interrogating Geralt in the bath how many wishes are left. As well, in the books Yennefer is much more physically violent, again asserting the idea that she is the dominant one in the relationship and that she is in charge. 

Honestly, the show softens Yennefer quite a bit in this scene. While she does bite his lip, it’s slowly and not particularly violent. In the books, she is compared to a vampire, grabbing his hair, pulling him down. 

It all ties into the softer, younger version of Yennefer we see in the show vs the books. She is not as aggressive in the show and also not as dominant. Again, this could be due to the actor’s age difference but I also think it ties into Hollywood’s avoidance of placing women in a position that is above a male character. (Especially with Henry Cavill as Geralt, he would be unlikely to play a more subservient role to a woman purposefully considering some of his past statements about Me Too). However, having Yennefer as less aggressive also might make her more relatable to the audience and have her be more likable. At least, that could be what the writers were going for but I’m not psychic and I couldn’t tell you for sure. 

Geralt trying to save Yennefer from the Djinn:

The Last Wish:

“Yennefer saw him, jumped up and raised her hand.

“No!” he shouted, “don't do this! I want to help you!”

“Help?” She snorted. “You?”

“Me.”

“In spite of what I did to you?”

“In spite of it.”

“Interesting. But not important. I don't need your help. Get out of here.”

“No.”

“Get out of here!” she yelled, grimacing ominously. “It's getting dangerous! The whole thing's getting out of control; do you understand? I can't master him. I don't get it, but the scoundrel isn't weakening at all! I caught him once he'd fulfilled the troubadour's third wish and I should have him in the sphere by now. But he's not getting any weaker! Dammit, it looks as if he's getting stronger! But I’m still going to get the better of him. I’ll break—”

“You won't break him, Yennefer. He'll kill you.”

“It's not so easy to kill me—”

She broke off. The whole roof of the tavern suddenly flared up. The vision projected by the sphere dissolved in the brightness. A huge fiery rectangle appeared on the ceiling. The sorceress cursed as she lifted her hands, and sparks gushed from her fingers. 

“Run, Geralt!”

“What's happening, Yennefer?”

“He's located me…” She groaned, flushing red with effort. “He wants to get at me. He's creating his own portal to get in. He can't break loose but he'll get in by the portal. I can't—I can't stop him!”

“Yennefer—”

“Don't distract me! I’ve got to concentrate…Geralt, you've got to get out of here. I’ll open my portal, a way for you to escape. Be careful; it'll be a random portal. I haven't got time or strength for any other…I don't know where you'll end up…but you'll be safe…Get ready—.” 

... (description paragraph skip)

“This way!” shouted Yennefer, indicating the portal which she had conjured up oh the wall by the stairs. In comparison to the one created by the genie, the sorceress's portal looked feeble, extremely inferior. “This way, Geralt! Run for it!”

“Only with you!”

Yennefer, sweeping the air with her hands, was shouting incantations and the many-colored fetters showered sparks and creaked. The djinn whirled like the bumble-bee, pulling the bonds tight, then loosening them. Slowly but surely he was drawing closer to the sorceress. Yennefer did not back away.

The witcher leapt to her, deftly tripped her up, grabbed her by the waist with one hand and dug the other into her hair at the nape. Yennefer cursed nastily  and thumped him in the neck with her elbow. He didn't let go of her. The penetrating smell of ozone, created by the curses, didn't kill the smell of lilac and gooseberries. Geralt stilled the sorceress's kicking legs and jumped, raising her straight up to the opalescently flickering nothingness of the lesser portal.

 The Show:

[In the bedroom]

Yennefer: [still chanting in Elder]

Geralt: [as he enters, Yennefer lifts a hand in his direction.] Don’t! I’m here to help you.

Yennefer: [lowers her hand] I don’t need your help. You’re free. No longer under my spell.

Geralt: And yet here I am.

Yennefer: You seem to want to meet your end.

Geralt: As do you.

Yennefer: [groans] The djinn isn’t weakening. The bard expressed his last wish, but it’s- [screams] it’s getting stronger! Go!

Geralt: That’s because I’m the one with the wishes.

Yennefer: You? You’re the djinn’s master?

Geralt: Yeah.

Yennefer: Well, what are you waiting for? [She screams as her bones crack.] Make your wishes!

Geralt: Becoming the vessel for the djinn will have you lose control, not gain it! Can’t you see what this is doing to you?

Yennefer: True transformation is painful.

Geralt: Release the djinn! I’ll give you my last wish!

Yennefer: You heroic protector… noble dog, permitting my success so long as you command it yourself. Fuck off! I’ll do this myself!

Geralt: Damn it, Yennefer! Tell me what you want!

Yennefer: I want everything!

[In the bedroom, Yennefer’s eyes have gone red, her voice distorted]

Djinn: [speaking through Yennefer] Make your wish! You can have anything you want! You could choose not to be a witcher. What do you desire? Immortality? Riches? Fame? Power?

Geralt: I wish… [The rest of his words are drowned out by the wind. Yennefer falls forward and the wind calms down. Geralt pulls up his sleeve to reveal the third cut.]

Yennefer: The djinn… Wh- Where did it go? [The house groans and creaks, and the two look to the ceiling as it crashes down.]

Yennefer still craves power and wants for everything in the show. In the books, she is more established and wants to try and control the Djinn. This is why when Geralt comes back for Yennefer, both versions express surprise at why Geralt would come back to help after they cast a spell on him but Netflix!Yennefer tells Geralt to fuck off on the basis she doesn’t want a man controlling her life (tying into the Strong Female Character Trope) while Book!Yennefer wants Geralt out of danger first and foremost.

Of course, much of this in the show is likely a response to try and subvert the “damsel in distress” stereotype and while the books have Yennefer as the dominant one and in control, showing that she in not in distress, the show has her explicitly point this out because she is not established as the dominant one as much as in the books. 

The show constantly is more overt with its themes that the books which are far more subtle. 

Yennefer is mad at Geralt and then they have sex:

The Last Wish (Warning this is rather long and I even tried to shorten it without removing content!!):

“You moron!” Yennefer yelled, trying to scratch out his eyes. “You bloody idiot! You stopped me! I nearly had him!”

“You had shit-all!” he shouted back, furious. “I saved your life, you stupid witch!”

She hissed like a furious cat; her palms showered sparks.

Geralt, turning his face away, caught her by both wrists and they rolled among the oysters, seaweed and crushed ice.

“Do you have an invitation?” A portly man with the golden chain of a chamberlain on his chest was looking at them with a haughty expression.

“Screw yourself!” screamed Yennefer, still trying to scratch Geralt's eyes out.

“The wish, Geralt! Hurry up! What do you desire? Immortality? Riches? Fame? Power? Might? Privileges? Hurry, we haven't any time!” He was silent

“Humanity,” she said suddenly, smiling nastily. “I’ve guessed, haven't I? That's what you want; that's what you dream of! Of release, of the freedom to be who you want, not who you have to be. The djinn will fulfill that wish, Geralt. Just say it.”

He stayed silent.

She stood over him in the flickering radiance of the wizard's sphere, in the glow of magic, amidst the flashes of rays restraining the djinn, streaming hair and eyes blazing violet, erect, slender, dark, terrible…

And beautiful.

All of a sudden she leaned over and looked him in the eyes. He caught the scent of lilac and gooseberries.

“You're not saying anything,” she hissed. “So what is it you desire, witcher? What is your most hidden dream? Is it that you don't know or you can't decide? Look for it within yourself, look deeply and carefully because, I swear by the Force, you won't get another chance like this!”

But he suddenly knew the truth. He knew it. He knew what she used to be. What she remembered, what she couldn't forget, what she lived with. Who she really was before she had become a sorceress.

Her cold, penetrating, angry and wise eyes were those of a hunchback. He was horrified. No, not of the truth. He was horrified that she would read his thoughts, find out what he had guessed. That she would never forgive him for it. He deadened that thought within himself, killed it, threw it from his memory forever, without trace, feeling, as he did so, enormous relief. Feeling that—

The ceiling cracked open. The djinn, entangled in the net of the now fading rays, tumbled right on top of them, roaring, and in that roar were triumph and murder lust. Yennefer leapt to meet him. Light beamed from her hands. Very feeble light.

The djinn opened his mouth and stretched his paws toward her.

The witcher suddenly understood what it was he wanted.

And he made his wish.

... (time skip)

Yennefer, slightly flushed, knelt by him, resting her hands on her knees.

“Witcher.” She cleared her throat. “Are you dead?”

“No.” Geralt wiped the dust from his face and hissed.

Slowly, Yennefer touched his wrist and delicately ran her fingers along his palm. “I burnt you—”

“It's nothing. A few blisters—”

“I’m sorry. You know, the djinn's escaped. For good.”

“Do you regret it?”

“Not much.”

“Good. Help me up, please.”

“Wait,” she whispered. “That wish of yours…I heard what you wished for. I was astounded, simply astounded. I’d have expected anything but to…What made you do it, Geralt? Why…Why me?”

“Don't you know?”

She leaned over him, touched him. He felt her hair, smelling of lilac and gooseberries, brush his face and he suddenly knew that he'd never forget that scent, that soft touch, knew that he'd never be able to compare it to any other scent or touch. Yennefer kissed him and he understood that he'd never desire any lips other than hers, so soft and moist, sweet with lipstick. He knew that, from that moment, only she would exist, her neck, shoulders and breasts freed from her black dress, her delicate, cool skin, which couldn't be compared to any other he had ever touched. He gazed into her violet eyes, the most beautiful eyes in the world, eyes which he feared would become…

Everything. He knew.

“Your wish,” she whispered, her lips very near his ear. “I don't know whether such a wish can ever be fulfilled. I don't know whether there's such a Force in Nature that could fulfill such a wish. But if there is, then you've condemned yourself. Condemned yourself to me.”

He interrupted her with a kiss, an embrace, a touch, caresses and then with everything, his whole being, his every thought, his only thought, everything, everything, everything. They broke the silence with sighs and the rustle of clothing strewn on the floor. 

They broke the silence very gently, lazily, and they were considerate and very thorough. They were caring and tender and, although neither quite knew what caring and tenderness were, they succeeded because they very much wanted to. And they were in no hurry whatsoever. The whole world had ceased to exist for a brief moment, but to them, it seemed like a whole eternity.

And then the world started to exist again; but it existed very differently.

“Geralt?”

“Mmm?”

“What now?”

“I don't know.”

“Nor do I. Because, you see, I…I don't know whether it was worth condemning yourself to me. I don't know how—Wait, what are you doing…? I wanted to tell you—”

“Yennefer…Yen.”

“Yen,” she repeated, giving in to him completely. “Nobody's ever called me that. Say it again.”

“Yen.”

“Geralt.”

The Show:

[Yennefer and Geralt portal into the room inside the manor, where they first met.]

Geralt: Yennefer? [He gets to his knees and shifts the hair of her face.] Yennefer. It’s me… Geralt.

Yennefer: [She opens slowly her eyes, shoves Geralt away and rises.] I know who you are. What did you do? You stopped me, didn’t you? I nearly had it.

Geralt: You had shit all. I saved your life.

Yennefer: And I saved yours! You let the djinn escape. Who knows what havoc it’ll wreak now that it has no vessel at all?

Geralt: No more havoc than you. Djinns are only dark creatures when held captive.

Yennefer: How can you be so sure?

Geralt: When did you last feel happy when you felt trapped? And if you were going to portal us to safety, you could’ve taken us out of this shit town!

Yennefer: A fine critique if you could make a portal yourself. And it wasn’t a shit town, it was a fine town till you came along. I had a plan!

Geralt: [chuckles] And that was going swimmingly!

Yennefer: It was. Like a drowning fish. [They kiss and begin to have sex.]

I tried to keep it short here, but the show combined multiple scenes from the book here. I do love the fact that they kept the shit-all line, it’s a favorite. Of course, many people have likely noticed the HUGE difference between the show and books. In the books, Yennefer knows what the wish is and she’s aware Geralt tied their destinies together. 

The show keeps Yennefer in the dark about the wish (likely as a way to manufacture tension on the mountain and have it be dramatic tm) and this just further places her as the not-dominant one in comparison to Geralt. I will also say I love how in the books, Geralt gets a flashback through Yennefer’s past and her trauma. It would have been interesting to see that in the show. 

This final scene suffers so much in the show by being so shortened. We don’t see Yennefer and Geralt have a long conversation about the consequences of the wish or what they might do next, they just exchange a few lines about the Djinn which makes the sex scene seem more sudden than in the books. 

Of course, I will give props to the actors for the sexual tension they are able to generate in just a few lines as they move closer to each other (granted this tension is ruined as soon as the music starts playing and Jaskier shows up, making the sex scene humorous instead of impactful). 

The last lines in the book passage where Yennefer asks Geralt to call her Yen just breaks my damn heart and I would do anything to have seen it in the show. The way the books showcase two very traumatized people finally finding each other is just so lovely and I don’t understand the directing decision to have the tone of the scene switch so quickly in the show from serious and impactful to light. It takes away a lot from the characters. 

In the end, the show has Yennefer in a less dominant position in the books and also has her act younger in a sense. This could be due to the actor’s age difference or Hollywood’s allergy to dominant women but despite this, the actors bring a lot of chemistry to the screen (especially in the first meeting/bath scenes). 

I would have liked the show to give Yennefer more agency in regards to the wish, especially considering that is her character arc in the show, but I did appreciate how many scenes paralleled each other and I believe at the end of the day, the show was able to preserve enough of Yenralt to make it a believable pairing in the show and I can see them improving the dynamic they have already established throughout the first season in season 2.