#traditionally feminine so i want to keep that but not other things idk

[yakisabajanai]

,,,

[shynetyme06]

1 - 23 :3

cracks knuckles okay

1. how would you describe your art style? uhhhhhhhh, maybe "safe" is the word rn. whenever I think of my art style, what comes to mind is just how little I've been pushing things with it. I wanna change that ;D

2. what's your favorite thing about your style? I realize I like to use semi-realistic proportions, its cool how comfortable I've gotten with drawing faces and bodies

3. what's your least favorite thing about your style? It's so static man. same thing I said for the first question, I don't think anything really looks bad, but it just is lacking in creativity in comparison to the older art that should be looking worse than what I do now. I prefer my older stuff ;D (looking at you inktobertale2021.. where did it all go wrong)

4. favorite thing to draw? regular ol people. human characters are def more in my comfort zone, which explains why I keep hitting skeletons with the humanization ray (also I prefer to draw feminine characters)

5. least favorite thing to draw? I can't even say I rlly dislike it cuz of how rarely I even do it, but I am procrastinating so hard on learning backgrounds..

6. warm colors or cool colors? cool colors are my fav, but i find it easier to work with warm ones (I used to put a cool overlay over all my warm toned drawings hgdhfg)

7. show us a WIP behold, the wip ever. this drawing... was supposed to be posted on august 2022. and then, it was supposed to be posted on dec 21st, dream and nightmares birthday. (atp if I do end up wanting to finish this idea again, I'll probably just scrap it and start over)

8. what's the most fun and least fun parts about your process? most fun is flat color and rendering. (though I rarely do the latter anymore) and for least fun, tbh a lot of the sketching part tends to be difficult for me, sometimes its cool tho

9. show us a finished piece alongside the original sketch example from when sketching was fun

10. how many different sketches do you usually have until your piece is finished? I think I do need to make more of at least thumbnail sketches tbh.. I usually just make one and keep editing it, trusting the process. (and that fails like 70% of the time. woww wonder why sketching isnt fun for me-) 11. show us the last thing you drew, be it a finished piece or a small doodle can this count,,

12. show us an old drawing first deltarune drawing. here's the redraw I later made of this :3 (also old hsgdhgf)

13. how long do you usually take one a piece? depends. I'll have like 276478923 wips started, and then I get a random idea that I just have to do right at that moment, and I'll get it done in like 1-4 hours. meanwhile old sketches start to rot and maybe if its lucky I'll revisit it before my motivation dies and my style is too different to wanna continue from where I left off 14. digital or traditional? digital all the way, i've gotten too dependent on the transform tool + liquefy ;D (and many other things tbh but I'd be here all day if I tried comparing them more jhdjdf)

15. if digital, what program do you use? procreate, the layouts on other drawing programs scare me

16. favorite media to work with when drawing traditionally pen on paper (am I understanding this right wdym media-)

17. what do you love getting compliments about? I like when people enjoy the humanizations I come up with, and also original designs in general 18. are you satisfied with the attention your art usually gets? hmmm yeah

19. how often do you draw? very often, I just don't have finished things to share most days

20. a piece from this year that you're really proud of :3

21. something you would like to improve on the dynamicness (well, the lack of it) of everything, as said before

22. what inspires you? Ink sans and a ton of creators in this fandom (also animated shows and movies, I love animation)

23. what's something you hope people notice when looking at your art? idk tbh, just notice it at all and I'm happy :>

[glambots]

Adding to the other ask-I feel kind of bad for Sun and Moon in that situation. The others have merchandise, vouchers, and more importantly interests and understanding more in line with Gregory's age. Sun and Moon don't have that sort of advantage.

In this case Freddy has a major advantage since he knows Gregory's specific interests and, lets face it, Gregory already has both a pseudo-parental bond and a sort of trauma bond with Freddy.

Monty and Roxy are sort of in second place given they have an understanding of preteens and teenagers and their interests seem to aline more with Gregory's. Sure Gregory probably isn't all that interested in Golf, but they're still both more inclined to 'boyish' hobbies, they can probably learn if they really want to.(Roxy slightly behind Monty since she's equal parts feminine hobbies(make up, fashion) and masculine hobbies(Driving, roller skating)

Chica is in a bit of a third place since she is, again, designed for kids Gregory's age even if she's the most traditionally feminine.(also I'll clarify, when I say feminine or masculine I refer to traditional ideals of the ideals. If Gregory vibes with traditionally feminine things I'm not exactly going to complain. That'd be the pot calling the kettle black wouldn't it?) She does seem to be closer friends with Freddy than Roxy and Monty are which would probably be in her favor at least a little.

Then there's poor Sun and Moon who are

Made for kids much younger than Gregory, so naturally their interests and hobbies aren't going to initially be as close as the others.

Made to either supervise several children at once or keep them safe while sleeping. While this nurturing role is incredibly endearing to us, to Gregory would likely find the overbearingness annoying at best.

They both follow rules and are unlikely to bend them without good reason. Gregory looks somewhere from 12-15(Idk all children look the same to me) which is usually the age range where you want to know why rules are in place and how much you can bend them before they break. Sun and Moon aren't made for handling that sort of thing beyond Explain -> kid wanders off to go play.

Sun and Moon don't seem to have the same inherent proficiency when it comes to doing things like interpreting complex emotions in other people, interpreting social queues, or diverting from rules/schedules without explicit prompt. (Which I sympathize with because I can't do those things either.)

Just feel bad for Sun and Moon in in this case since Gregory is just not the DCA's area of expertise. He can learn, of course, but it's still a lot more of a learning curve for them than any of the glamrocks. Especially Freddy.

An interesting addition!

[melohax]

Random thoughts on Aubrey, Basil and gender roles

This is such a tiny detail to talk about but... this pic really highlights how Basil looks and acts in a distinctly feminine way, imo.

Ingame, the way Basil always wears a pink flower on his left side and the way Aubrey wears her little pink bow the same way too...

I wonder if it was on purpose? Like maybe Basil wanted to his hair to match with Aubrey? Or maybe Aubrey herself was the one to be all “It’d be really cute if you wore a pink flower on your hair the way how I wear my bow. We’d be twins!” or something like that.

I find the little contrasts between him and Aubrey pretty neat. Aubrey is short, undeniably girly and into feminine things but she’s the physical powerhouse of the entire group. Even though she gets visibly tearful and easily flustered, her go-to emotion is anger and people fear her physicaly strength.

Meanwhile, Basil is a boy who’s extremely physically weak. He’s in constant need of rescue both in dreams and the real world. The first time the fight mechanic is even introduced to the game, it’s because Basil needs to be rescued.

Even during the boss fight against Basil and his gardening shears, he does pitiful damage against Sunny’s weak, unarmed, noodley hikikomori physique.

In all these regards, Basil has a much more traditionally feminine role in his friends’ lives.

It reminds me of how in Headspace, the women’s bathroom at Last Resort (that initially only Aubrey can acess) has a layout and decor that looks like Basil’s real world bedroom but in bathroom form. It’s like Sunny’s subconscious associates him with Aubrey and inherently feminine things.

It also makes me think about how unique? Basil’s role is in the friend group in general.

Basil and Aubrey probably used to fit a traditional “best friends” label much more than Sunny and Basil did but somewhow, Basil fixated on Sunny instead and Sunny built his dreams around Mari and Basil.

Sunny quietly fixates on Basil so much he can remember everything Basil’s ever said word for word and can even predict what Basil would say as a 16 year old. On the other hand, Basil’s emotions come across as way more needy and desperate to the point that we get those dreaded “yandere!Basil” interpretations from the fandom 🙃

Basil acts like he wants to be the caretaking type that makes Kel wash his hands and keep Sunny safe but he himself might be the one who needs to be looked after the most.

Basil’s friends seem to be aware of this to some degree, too. Basil is the person the group as a whole seemed to “coddle” the most in that they were all particularly gentle with him compared to how they usually acted towards each other.

Mari and Hero seemed to be very considerate of him. Hero is noticeably even softer in his words (and lack of actions) towards Basil than he is with everyone else and that’s kind of a feat considering Hero is already such a warm mom friend to everyone.

12 year old Aubrey was quick-tempered and the type to tease but she didn’t do that with Basil. Instead she did things with him like gushing over flowers, cuddling with him in Sunny’s bed and encouraging everything he likes.

Even Kel (who used to be pretty insensitive as a kid) is still shown to have been more gentle in his interactions with Basil than he was with everyone else. Present-day Kel takes this up a notch with how eager he is to be of service to Basil.

So Basil ends up in this unique position where even though he’s obviously part of the friend group, he’s also the one the rest of the gang handles with a special sort of care. He’s basically an old school damsel in distress, with the stereotypical femininity and physical weakness and everything.

IDK I just really like the way the game plays with the gender roles and stereotypes of the characters. 😗

[yuyupowers]

aristocrat!seonghwa

aristocrat!seonghwa x fem!reader

genre: fluff

trigger warning(s): patriarchal society mostly. let me know if there’s anything else!

author’s note: none of the pictures are mine!!

for reference, i’m using british peerage (hierarchy). there are five ranks: baron, viscount, earl (count), marquess, and duke - the highest being duke, and the lowest, baron.

second son of a duke

i imagine seonghwa to be someone who values tradition

unlike hongjoong who finds who finds the numerous aristocratic mannerisms pointless, hwa believes upholding these (rather stringent) rules is a sign of respect

perfect gentleman pt.1

excellent in swordsmanship, horse-back riding, and hunting

well versed in poetry, literature, art, and finance

(can maintain a conversation about politics but honestly it kinda goes over his head)

a bit on the shyer side, but a decent conversationalist

good at keeping the flow and mediating in case anyone becomes a little too heated about their opinions

definitely cares about his and his family’s image

naturally caring and tends to dote on those close to him

(translates into excellent manners)

holds the door open, offers his hand when stepping out of carriages, makes sure to walk on the side closest to traffic, diverts conversation when things are too “distressing,” wouldn’t be caught dead alone with a woman that wasn’t related to him or his fiancée/wife

and surprise, surprise !!

this is where you come in

you’re the second oldest daughter, fourth child out of six; born to an earl

hwa’s family had the highest title bestowed upon aristocracy

whereas your family accumulated more wealth and land than the park family

and since both you and hwa were prime marrying age™, your parents decided upon a mutually beneficial marriage

the first time you met seonghwa was under the watchful eye of both your parents, when the park’s invited your family for dinner

tbh, you were pretty relieved when you met him

“prime marrying age” was different for men, so you were just glad he wasn’t some old geezer

and he seemed like a decent person !!

a well put together gentleman, and his image was only consolidated throughout dinner

all in all, you didn’t have much to complain about from the initial impression

though it was kinda annoying when your little sister would not shut up about how he was the handsome man she’s ever met

even if you agreed

and didn’t she say that when she met woo?

anyways

after the first meeting with the park’s, both your parents set up multiple occasions for you two to meet

whether that be evening walks, picnics in the park, etc,,,

you learned a great deal about seonghwa 

how his favourite is black, how he loved the stars and that his favourite planet was mars

how he loved kids and doted on your youngest siblings (much to your sister’s glee)

how he enjoyed spending a quiet afternoon with you reading dickens, discussing afterwards the contrast between carton and darnay

how he was always considerate of your feelings and opinions

you liked to think you were a decent judge of character and thought overall that seonghwa was a kind and caring person

but you also noticed a few characteristics that-

you wouldn’t say it was off-putting or anything but,,,

it might bother you in the future

see, you were pretty good friends with hongjoong

and while you weren’t as extreme,

(you didn’t sneak out weekly to hang out with a bar maiden that you definitely did not have a crush on)

you certainly agreed with him on certain points

like hwa, you thought that abiding by certain mannerisms = display of respect

but unlike him, you didn’t care all that much about your image

okay, that was a lie.

you couldn’t say you didn’t care about your image

(social ostracization isn’t exactly fun ya feel)

but you thought it was,,,exhausting

it’s one thing to be respectful, but it’s another thing to say things you don’t mean

to fake humility

to undermine people that are supposed to be your “friends” or “one of you”

to be perfect, when “perfect” was such a subjective term anyways

it just felt so fake and that left a bitter taste in your mouth

even now, you could see all the efforts seonghwa made to constantly keep his image of a “perfect gentleman”

with perfect mannerisms and perfect answers and perfect-

yeah, it kinda frustrated you

not to mention how obedient he was?

of course you didn’t fault him for being a dutiful and filial son, but his loyalty blinded him

and it wasn’t like his parents were bad people !!

no, you’d say they were much kinder than the average noble family

especially considering their status

but when they made important decisions for their son without consulting him,

(because they were more experienced, because they knew better, etc,,,)

and he accepted whatever decision they handed to him?

well,,,

nevertheless, despite being his fiancée, you, by this point, had realistically had known seonghwa for a couple months

and you didn’t feel like it was your place 

(at least not yet)

to point this out

so the two of you continued your cordial but emotionally distant meetings

that is until “the incident” (as hwa fondly likes to call it)

okay, so-

one day you paid hwa a visit and the two of you decided to take a walk in his family’s garden

chattering about this and that

a lovely time !!

it was a bit overcast, but it didn’t look too threatening

so the two of you ignored the clouds looming in the horizon and wandered deep into the garden

big mistake

the weather took a turn for the worst, and soon it was pouring

by this point seonghwa was a little panicked

he knew that for women, getting ready could be excessively long and tenuous task

(courtesy of his little sister’s complaints)

and now !! you were getting rained on !! because he didn’t bring an umbrella !! just in case !!

!!!!

he turns to you, ready to shield you with his jacket and lead you back to the manor

but he’s at a loss by what he sees

he had expected you to be upset, to huddle closer to him, to,,,idk, maybe reprimand him for this thoughtlessness??

but instead, he finds you staring up at the dark sky, eyes shimmering with barely contained glee with the biggest smile he’s ever seen from you adorning your lips

he likes your smile

and if he was already confused (he was), he was about to become even more so

because the next thing he knows, you’re hiking your dress in one hand and grabbing his in the other, running through puddles of water and mud and everything in between, laughter falling from you like the rain

up until this point, you had been acting like the perfect (you hate that word) lady

polite, demure, charming-

in public settings, you only spoke when spoken to, with a voice that was purposely soft and soothing

you chatted with his mother and sisters about traditionally feminine things over tea with impeccable manners

whenever you two met, you were always prim and proper; never a strand of hair out of place

but here you were, getting not only yours but his clothes soggy and muddy, laughing without a care about how pleasant it sounded or how loud it was

seonghwa liked to think he wasn’t a judgemental person-

he wasn’t repulsed or anything by your sudden change in demeanor

just.

really confused

and when you looked back, you could tell,if his expression was anything to go by

but your grin only grew wider, because you could work with this

he wasn’t enjoying himself per say; a bit too confused and bit too stiff to do so

but he wasn’t horrified or disgusted

okay maybe he was a little grossed out; he liked to be clean thank you very much

you could work with this.

and so over the next few months, you showed him things he never dreamed of doing

some of which he liked, some of which he didn’t

some he was willing to try, some, less

like sneaking into the restricted section of the library (he’s never been so scandalized in his life)

or visiting the kitchen in the middle of the night so you could teach him how to make some basic recipes (which he surprisingly enjoyed)

or meeting hongjoong

(“of COURSE it matters if they got the colour wrong?! lord help me you’re the most insufferable person i’ve ever met-”)

and the more the two of you explored, the more he,,,real he became.

and vice versa.

gradually, the mask of perfection he worked so on hard to maintain was slipping before you

don’t get me wrong, he’s still kind and caring and a gentleman

but sometimes he would whine and complain when you encouraged him to do something he was less than enthusiastic about (usually something that involved getting him messy)

or he made The Face™ (the disgusted one) to you and when he didn’t like something or someone

or he would be stupidly stubborn about some random fact that you KNEW was wrong but he just WOULDN’T admit if even when you showed him proof

(“seonghwa for the last time toads don’t give you war-” “LALALA I CAN’T HEAR YOU” “eye-”)

once, he even playfully stole the strawberry from your cake

(big mistake. he’s never doing that again. he never knew a woman could move so fast or be so scary.)

it made you so, so happy because the two of you were finally getting to know each other

actually know each other

then one day, while the two of you were reading underneath a tree at the park

“,,,hey love?” (hwa)

“yes?”

“why are we doing this?” 

“what do you mean, dear?”

“i mean,,,i’m not complaining, but i guess,,,why did you decide to show me this part of you? the part that runs around in the rain?” hwa

you don’t reply right away

instead, you shut your book and idly stared at the willow swaying over the pond, wind running its fingers through its drooping leaves

after a few moments of silence

“,,,i wanted to know you and what you believed in. actually believed in.”

seonghwa tilts his head slightly to the side

“love, i hardly think my convictions have changed”

“but do you know what your convictions are?”

and you know when you hear something that resonates with you?

something that strikes deep in your core and makes you rethink everything you’ve know?

yeah,,,this is one of those moments

now it was seonghwa’s turn to set his book aside, falling deep in thought

after an unnaturally long stretch of silence, you began to panic a little

because ?? maybe you misread the situation and got a little too comfortable-

cause i mean you were questioning his core values, which is something he takes very seriously

o god you messed up didn’t you o crap you need to apolog-

“will you help me figure it out?”

“,,,huh??”

“will you help me figure out my convictions?” he asked

and you swear, you’ve never seen such a smile from seonghwa

one that conveyed a plethora of emotions, ranging from honesty and vulnerability, to confusion and loss, to lightness and warmth

it filled you with an unnameable feeling

like something sliding into place, fitting perfectly; like it was always meant to be there, filling you with comfort

shyly intertwining your hands for the first time, you looked up to meet his gaze with a pattering heart and a smile matching his own

“,,,of course.”

[ace-of-sspades]

Trans masc tips.

just because I’ve been researching and figuring a lot out and I wanted to share.

Disclaimer for this whole thing. You’re identity is valid regardless of how you present and really masculine and feminine things don’t even exists. Gender is a social construct. But here are tips to present more traditionally masculine, at least in my experience and for my body. Also I am non-binary so I don’t really try to pass as a man, just as not a girl, and I am 17 and not out to my family so I’m sure that will effect my advice.

Clothing

- Cloths that are tight around your arms/wrists or ankles at the cuff. It makes your limbs look bigger. Like sinched pants or rolling your sleeves.

- In general stuff that’s tight on the shoulders and baggy around your waist

- Tucking your shirt in can help make your figure look more square

- Darker shirts are sliming and help eliminate any shadow from your chest. Also they hide binders better

- Baggy pants, especially around the thighs. Try to avoid skinny jeans.

- In general layers!! And things with high collars.

- Wearing stuff across your brow line!!!!! Like a hat worn flat across your forehead or a bandana. It makes your face look more angular. This is a saving grace.

Make up

- Okay I know it sounds counter intuitive but it can really help. I suck at make up and these things have helped me so you don’t have to know what your doing. Also you can use a bronzer a darker foundation or even brown eyeshadow, all of it works.

- Contour your jaw!!! It’s barely every noticeable even if you use a lot of contour and it makes your jaw look so much sharper. If you have a butt chin even slightly, adding some there helps a lot, and at the corners of your jaw under your ears.

- Okay so these next tips take more subtlety. But contour your nose, just along the sides and under the tip. It helps give your face depth.

- Also put some in the crease of your eye near your nose, just a little because too much here will look like eyeshadow.

- You can also do your cheek bones and your temple but be careful because if you put too much it’s very noticeable.

- I have thick and dark eyebrows already so I don’t usually do anything to them but mascara does make them look thicker. I recommend using clear mascara or sometimes I’ll rub my black mascara on my arm to get the majority off and then use it on my eyebrows just to give them more volume. It can be tricky to do this without making it obvious. Also putting some darker eyeshadow over them can fill in any gaps and make them look thicker.

Voice

- This is tricky but sometimes I get dysphoria over having a too feminine voice, I really want an androgynous voice and here’s how I’ve at least made myself feel better about it. Idk if anyone else can tell a difference but still.

- I know nothing about singing or pitch or whatever but,,, singing in the car to songs with male vocalists really helps. It’s not even about harmonizing, and I suck at singing but even just talking the words helps. Plus if you feel weird practicing alone in your room or while you talk to someone this is a perfect fix because odds are you already sing when your alone in your car and no one will hear you.

- The most important thing is try to emulate the quality of the vocalists voice. Like say the words the way they do, over time this gives you more control over what your voice sounds like. A lot of male voices echo more or are heavier sounding and this is a way to get your voice to do that.

- Try to lower your voice if you can, it can help to say ahhh and then go deeper and try to speak at that level. But don’t try to lower your voice and scream because it h u r t s.

- Also trying your best to sit up straight and take a deep breath before you speak helps quite a bit.

- Your vocal cords are muscles, so the more you practice the easier it’ll be to control the quality and depth of your voice.

- Finally, don’t damage your voice to make it sound more masculine. I’ve done it before, I’d yell really loud to a song and be happy when my voice is horse after but it does damage your vocal cords so try not to.

Body language

- Take. Up. Space!!! Sit with your legs wider and your shoulders back. If you cross your legs do it with one shin over the other thigh not at the ankles.

- Walk in two lines not one. Like try not to put one foot directly in front of the other when you walk. Also your best to keep your shoulders and hips straight and even.

- Standing try to keep your weight even don’t lean on one foot.

- Keep your hand movements deliberate and try not to fidget.

- Also real quick, work out tips. Focus on your shoulders and arm!!! Tricep, pecs, lats, deltoids, biceps. Adding as much mass to these as possible will help immensely. Also working forearms will help make your veins more prominent.

Hair

- If you can’t cut it short that’s okay!! Tying it back in a messy low bun helps a lot. Before I cut my hair I did this all the time and I felt like hozier

- Also curtain bangs! If you’re closeted they still are perceived as totally feminine. But if you wear a beanie or a hood they give you the appearance of short hair.

- If you can cut your hair, try not to fall into the trap of “I must shave my head”. Some people can totally pull it off and obviously if you’ve always wanted too go for it! But it might not help you pass. Short hair exposes your jaw line a lot more. And AFAB jaws are normally a lot softer than AMAB jaws. I recommend cutting your hair in stages, just to see what looks best.

- Jaw length or mid ear length works as masculine too! And it can help add depth to your face. I have a pretty soft jaw and my hair currently looks kinda like JD from Heathers and it works pretty well.

- Hair is honestly very tricky and there’s really no way to get a completely masc hair cut. But in general longer on the top and shorter on the sides works well.

- Honestly my biggest tip for teenage trans masc folks is to find a hair dresser/barber that doesn’t cut your hair to look feminine. Like the family hairdresser you’ve been going too since you were 5? They definitely have an idea of what you should look like and will add their own touch. And if you’re not out to your parents it’s hard to come out to a family hairdresser. My recommendation is do some research and find a place nearby that cuts men and women’s hair, that way you don’t have to worry about passing enough to get into an only men’s barbershop, but they’ll still know how to cut men’s hair. Either way definitely go to someone new, and if you can ask specifically for a men’s hair cut.

Anyway there’s my tips. Feel free to add, and sorry this is kinda a long post lol. I’ve been compiling this for months and I hope it can help someone.

[ftm-radio]

ugh names are stressful and I hate making decisions bc then I just constantly think about what if I did this other thing so I'm gonna ramble about names and indecision for a bit

(spoiler alert y'all can/should keep calling me Jack or JT or Jackalope like you already do lol I'm not changing my name again I'm just thinking out loud)

so I'm Jack. legally. and that makes me happy! I love that name, love being called Jack, love introducing myself as Jack & can't wait to do it more often when I go back to school and have to interact with strangers again regularly.

but there are days like today where I almost wish I still used my old name. I call it my deadname for ease and bc that's just the term we use, but it's.. not really dead — it's one of my middle names now. It's quite feminine, given to me in honor of a great(?) grandmother I never met, and I came up with a shorter form of it to use that felt more gender neutral when I went to college and started exploring my gender.

originally, I planned to keep that name because there weren't any others that spoke to me and I knew I was indecisive and would probs have a horrible time trying to choose a name, AND because I thought it would be badass to be my authentic not-female self while rocking a traditionally feminine name and confusing/surprising people. (oh and i also probably definitely was influenced by my desire to not hurt my parents' feelings and not wanting to have to make people adjust to a new name bc oh no I can't inconvenience ppl!!!)

but then I actually worked to find a new name because I realized I really wanted that change (and ppl being "inconvenienced" isn't my fuckin problem)

there are male versions of my old name. I could have picked something similar but with a decidedly more masculine flavor (ending in a -o instead of an -a, or lobbing off the -la at the end.....). I didn't like those names though, and I wanted a bigger change than one or two letters being changed or knocked off the end.

but it's like.... idk it feels like a missed opportunity? like living my life under that other name and being a man(+) almost in defiance of it is a path I turned away from, and now I'll never know how that turns out and how it would have affected the way others perceived me and how I might have affected others and made them think differently about stuff like names and gender and whatnot. idk.

I'd planned on being this badass dude with a gender nonconforming name and I guess sometimes I feel like im... not as cool for going with a regular masc name in the end??? even though I know it's dumb/silly to worry about how ~cool~ I seem when the only thing that matters is if I'm happy and comfy at the end of the day lmao

idk, idk. maybe I still have a lingering attachment to my old name bc in a lot of ways I still feel like I'm the same person who used that name, like I still look like them & sound like them. maybe with time (and some testosterone pleasepleaseplease) I'll like.. grow up more and look back and realize that yeah that other name definitely isn't me anymore & I would've wanted to change it eventually no matter what.

AND honestly when ppl use the other name for me on accident or bc they don't know im trans I.. Don't Like It. lol. and I'm not sure if it's because I've asked/told folks to use Jack and I don't like that they mess up or because the other name Literally makes me feel ick when I'm addressed with it. maybe it's a bit of both.

maybe I just like the idea of the other name, or of gnc names in general. maybe the solution to this not-regretful-but-kinda-bummed-out? feeling is to make OCs and give them gnc names lmao. I was planning on doing that anyway so.......

if you read all of this apologies for the hopping around & disorganization, but feel free to weigh in with your thoughts about names n shit if you want!

reblogs, replies, & asks are all welcome ✌🏻

[theleftovertaco]

The Boys in Lingerie

OK FIRST EVEN VAGUELY SMUTTISH POST 

Basic warnings in order please don’t interact if you don’t want to see this. Use basic judgement. You know if you’re too young to read something

Once again, I try to keep it house, gender, and year neutral so anyone can fill in the blanks where they wish, guys, gals, and nonbinary pals alike

We have standard lineup- Fred, George, Draco, Neville, Harry, Ron, Oliver, Cedric, and now Charlie and Blaise have been added!

ON TO THE FEMBOYS IN LINGERIE

Fred

You and Fred had messed around before with kinks and lingerie

He always liked how it looked on you, how the lace hugged you perfectly

Freddie is a very forthright person, if he wants to try something he will tell you in advance, and so he talks to you about him wearing some

You agree immediately and the two of you find a magazine to order some because there is no shop that sells that in Hogsmeade, unfortunately

He finds a pair of pink panties and chooses those because of course he does and when the box arrives (he has to avoid George’s questions about what's in the box) 

He puts them on and then sends you a notes asking you to come to his room while no one else is there

And when you find him

“Baby boy, you look amazing.” He smirks and spins in a circle before leaping on the bed, you following close after

George

George wandered into a strange shop in muggle London when you and him were exploring during Christmas break

He found a sex shop where they sold a lot of lingerie and before he got yelled at by the shop owner to “get out, you tosser!”

He couldn’t get the lingerie out of his head 

He didn’t think about you wearing it, well maybe a little. No he actually thought more about the cloth on his own body

So about a couple weeks after seeing those and getting back to school he plucked up the courage to ask you (he was a Gryffindor, dammit, he shouldn’t be scared)

“How would you feel if I... wanted to wear panties?” “Sure, love, sounds good if that’s what you want.” “Wait, that’s it?” “Yea.” “Ok good, cause I kinda already ordered them.” 

He darts into the restroom to put them on and then comes out to show you and holy fuck

He’s in this pale blue pair of flower lace bikini panties and walks out looking just a little timid and you fucking jump him 

Draco 

Draco saw a pair of Pansy’s underwear during a game of strip poker and while most of the other guys were ogling her, he was thinking about how the silk would feel on him

He buys a pair, but then they just sit at the bottom of his trunk for about a month and a half

Then he wears them once or twice around the common room under his trousers before he even thinks of telling you

He writes you a note during History of Magic (its not like Binns will notice anyways): “Can you come to my dorm after classes today? I want to show you something.”

So you go thinking its gonna be some gift his mum sent again but you enter the dorm and see him in a pair of silk black panties 

“Honey, you look fantastic!”

You may or may not have torn them off of him 

He may or may not have had to buy another 10 pairs

Neville

Neville sees a girl in a thong in one of his dormmates old magazines and he just gets a little spooked

Because his immediate thought isn’t about you in them

It’s about him in them

So he panics

Slowly but surely, as your relationship progresses he gets a little more bold, in general, since you make his confidence skyrocket when you’re around him

So he wears them around during the day and when he pulls you into a empty classroom you’re a little scared about what he’s gonna do because of the timid look on his face

But he pulls down his trousers to show the pastel yellow thong he’s wearing and he slips on his old cat ears

You let out an audible groan

“Kitten, you look beautiful.”

He blushes and looks down in embarrassment just a little

“Nuh-Uh, don’t you dare look embarrassed kitten, come here.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Harry

You and Harry had a very honest relationship

He is a rather frank person and is not afraid to tell you want he wants in a relationship, but of course, you know that right out of the gate

Plus after the heels debacle, he knew never to try and hide what he wanted to wear from you

So when he discovers your collection of lingerie, he straight up asks you if he can try them on

“You sure?” “Yes please.” “Yeah ok go ahead, sunshine.”

He grins and snatches his favorite pair, a red set of satin underwear that barely cover anything

“You ready love?” “Of course sunshine, come on out!”

He steps out and you are speechless to say the least

He looks amazing and you pretty much drag him over to sit on your lap while you kiss him

So now he wears panties all the damn time because why not

If he likes it and he’s confident wearing them, you’re all for it

Ron

Ron is still a bit wary about wearing lingerie

He’s been wearing more stereotypically feminine clothes, but wearing panties is a whole other game to him

But you suggested it, and he was willing to try

It takes him a bit to warm up to the idea of lingerie

Ron has you walk him through it, what would be comfortable, what wouldn’t be, and he settles on a pair of black satin ones “They’ll be comfortable, promise!” “If you’re sure...”

You do a trial run where he just kind of lounges around the common room wearing them underneath his normal clothes

By the end of the day he’s hooked on it and you are too

He likes the softness of them

Ron has always felt like he had to be strong, and measure up to his brothers masculinity, but when he’s in the lingerie, he feels like he doesn’t have to conform to that

Anyways yes he likes the panties

Oliver

Oliver saw a pair on you once under your sweatpants when you were cuddling

“Oh, what are these?” “My panties???” “They’re pretty... do they make them for guys?”

Bro was straightforward

So you buy him a pair “I trust your judgement love, buy whatever you want!”

So he ends up with a pair of red silk ones that feel amazing 

He wears them whenever possible

About a week after he starts wearing them, Angelina somehow finds out and the Gryffindor quidditch team dares him to ride on the broom in only his panties

So he tries it... before immediately slipping off and falling on his ass

“Stupid fabric.”

He manages to stay on the second time, and well, now you have a few candid shots of your boyfriend riding a broom in lingerie

Not that you’re complaining

Cedric

I need to stop calling Cedric Pretty boy, but does that mean i will? no

Pretty boy loves you in lingerie

The fabrics are always so pretty

And he has never been shy about this, so he just asks you if he can try on a pair of yours

“Yeah, of course pretty boy go ahead.” he kisses you on the cheek and runs off to find a pair

He puts on a pale yellow satin pair of briefs 

And walks back into your dorm

“Fuck, pretty boy!” “You like it?” “Baby, I adore it!”

Cedric begins wearing them around campus

He likes how his thighs look in them, and soon he starts wearing them under his skirts

If he bends over, you can see it pretty easily, he knows exactly what he’s doing

He tries to rile you up

Fucking tease

Charlie

Charlie is a very muscular person 

It isn’t that he doesn’t like traditionally feminine stuff, he just never thought he had the build for it

It takes a while for him to change his mind, since contrary to popular belief, he is actually pretty insecure

“Don’t you think I’d look strange in them, stocky kid in girls underwear?” “Well, it’s  not just for girls, and no you would not! I happen to think that you would look beautiful!”

He likes that word. Beautiful

People have always described him as handsome, cute, but never beautiful

So he agrees

Maybe it’s something about wizarding Romania that’s more accepting but when the lady at the shop you go to sees that the panties are more fit for Charlie, she winks at the two of you and says to “have fun with those”

So he puts them on and holy shit 

He understands it now

He feels beautiful

Blaise

Blaise likes being pretty lets be real

He doesn’t really give a flying fuck what people think of him

So he jumps on panties real quick

Finds the prettiest pair of emerald panties he can find and he loves them almost immediately

He likes putting on a short skirt and makeup on to top off his whole vibe because why not

Another thing about Blaise is that he is a fucking flirt 

With everyone, not just you

And while you trust that he would never cheat on you or betray you, if he gets a little too flirty with anyone else, all you have to do is creep your hand up to the satin undergarment and give it a little tug to remind him who he belongs to

You, bitch, it’s you

Ok that’s it for now idk what I’m doing next so if you want me to write something please send me an ask. Also I rarely write suggestive/smut fics if you know ways that I can make this better please for the love of god let me know.

This feels like a good time to say that this is the final set of characters. I have 10 right now, and if I keep accepting more people I’ll just end up doing 20 characters every time. I love doing these but I don’t have the time or energy to do every single character, it just would not be good for my mental health. That being said, if you want a specific headcanon of a specific character, please SEND ME AN ASK so I know that you want that directly. I would be more than happy to write it for you.

[fae-fucker]

Zenith: Chapter 76-79

Chapter 76

Andi has a nice little poetic nightmare. It’s irrelevant. The next morning has the girls preparing for the ball, complete with dresses and makeup.

Some things to note include Lira saying that in Adhiran religion (which is global, I guess), one has to mourn for three days before “letting” the souls of the dead pass on into ... everything.

Andi tries to say that it’ll take time to heal from it all, but Lira is having none of it.

“It will take time to move past what happened on Adhira,” Andi started, but Lira held up a hand.

“My three days of mourning have passed. Lon’s and my aunt’s, too. Now we, and the others who lost loved ones during the attack, must give the lost spirits to the stars, to the trees, to the wind.”

Which basically means that she’s done feeling bad about the unexpected and brutal attack on her home planet, so that’s convenient. Well, if one of our main characters doesn’t care about her people getting senselessly murdered, then why should we?

She also lets us know that her aunt has fixed up the Marauder and brought it here, because of course. Lira wants to arrange for Lon to be transferred to the Marauder, and though she has a logical reason for it (taking him home personally), it’s only a setup so we know why he’s on there at the end of the book when Andi’s bleeding out and needs a universal donor.

Spoilers, I guess.

Andi’s mother, Glorya, intercepts Andi as she tries to leave her crew to their makeover montages, just so we can move into a scene where her mom is brushing her hair and babbling on about gossip and vapid high society stuff.

But Andi, of course, gets lost in a flashback that’s so amateurishly written it’s honestly embarrassing and only highlights Shinsay’s helpless reliance on flashbacks as a storytelling device.

Observe:

Her words faded away as memories took their place. Andi lost herself to them.

The whole flashback is written in italics for some inexplicable reason, even though it would’ve been fine as just regular text since we’re clearly told what’s happening now and what’s a memory.

Also, there’s one bit where the memory “fast-forwards” to a different one. Shinsay, this isn’t a fucking movie. This isn’t a screenplay. What the fuck are you DOING.

The flashback and the mother’s inane babbling are all there to illustrate how vapid and brainless Glorya is and how she only ever cared about her status and not about her kid. Glorya pretends that everything is back to the way it was but Andi curses her out for abandoning her when she needed them most and how “the way it was” was actually always shit.

I mean it’s fine. It’s all right. I see what they’re going for, it’s melodramatic as all fuck but it works for what they’re trying to do? I can see this as being a realistic way for an emotionally neglectful family to look like. I wish it was more nuanced and wasn’t just shoe-horned in here (Glorya doesn’t show up before or after this bit, this is the only time she’s ever present or even mentioned in this book in any meaningful capacity) for the sake of making Andi’s friends look better and for her to not have anything that anchors her to Arcardius, but like, I won’t say this isn’t realistic.

And then Shinsay can’t stop themselves and it’s back to silly time:

“Really, Androma...” 

[...]

“That is not my name,” Andi whispered. She allowed the darkness to come up into her voice, the mask of shadow and steel to sweep across her face. “My name is the Bloody Baroness. And if you or Commander Racella ever so much as utter a single word toward me or my crew again, I will personally strip the skin from your body and wave it like a flag from my starship.”

Glorya let out a soft squeak. Andi snarled with all of her teeth.

Guys I can’t breathe this is too fucking funny. And not in a good “woo vindication!” sort of way, but in a “they really put this right after an emotional confrontation about parental emotional neglect/abuse huh?” way. They really thought this was ... badass? Revenge? Andi, sweetie, you’re, like, traumatized? Presumably? I can’t really tell. But maybe get some therapy?

Do Shinsay think this is somehow a win and that Andi’s threat means she’s fully released from the hurt and pain her parents have caused her through their neglect? It’s honestly written as if Andi just confronted her mother and her own hopes of coming back to her family in this one short scene, and then upon realizing her parents never loved her, she scares her mom a little and then is all smug and satisfied at the end.

That ain’t how it works, darlings.

Then the annoying Marketable Space Pet runs in and starts biting Glorya’s toes and she runs away shrieking like a defeated Disney villain.

Way to undercut your own drama, Shinsay.

The chapter ends with Andi thinking about how her crew is her True Family for the bajillionth time. Because we’re all idiots and Shinsay wants us to remember that.

Chapter 77

It’s the evening of the ball and Andi thinks about how she missed Bavista, which is apparently your generic coming-of-age ball held at Arcardius for every 16-year-old. I’m guessing it’s a yearly thing? The book never clarifies. Not sure why the fuck it’s here tbh.

Actually, it’s a pretty good demonstration of how the worldbuilding in this book is presented so here, have at thee:

She could still remember seeing the otherworldly dresses and suits float by her on the feeds as she watched the girls and boys glide into the A’Vianna House in the Glass Sector. They seemed light as air, full of pride, bursting at the seams with excitement. Once inside, they would be greeted by members of the Priest Guild, who would award each young person three items.

The first was a vial of water from the Northern Ocean, symbolizing strength. For growth, they accepted a single leaf from the oldest tree on Arcardius, known as The Mother, which was said to have been planted when the Ancients first arrived. Lastly, they were given a single floating pebble, no larger than a child’s fingernail, chiseled from the very gravarock where the Cortas estate was. It represented the wisdom of rising above.

Is this relevant to anything? Does this help you understand this world or its inhabitants? Does it tell you anything of the culture of Arcardius or its youth and what’s expected of them? No? It’s just a really generic list of things thrown together using Mystical Proper Nouns as glue? Weeell heeell.

Also what does “it represented the wisdom of rising above” mean? This is utterly generic and means fuck-all, that’s what.

Anyway, Andi’s admiring herself in the mirror. Her dress is very sexy, trust me, I can’t be bothered to include it so just imagine your favorite My Immortal outfit description. It does include sword holsters at the back, which are Andi’s favorite part, because she’s a strong independent woman who don’t need no man. She never actually uses them or brings the swords to the ball so ... Idk what the point of this was.

We also get some shit about how Andi actually LOVES dresses and being pretty but she never admitted it to anyone. But don’t you worry, this badass space criminal LOVES all things girly, because that’s feminism! Can someone check in on Shinsay? I’m not sure they’re getting enough air with their heads so far up Sarah J Maas’ asshole.

Admitting to herself that she looked pretty was something Andi kept private. She didn’t want to give her crew the satisfaction of knowing her true thoughts about fashion. How even though she was a fierce, hardened criminal, she could still appreciate the joy of a beautiful, impractical ball gown.

Huh. And here I thought they were your family. That’s weird that you’d keep this information from them, especially considering all of them seemed pretty excited to be prettied up in the last chapter. I guess they’d really just haaate the idea of sharing this joy with their captain, huh? Why aren’t you admitting this to them, Andi?

You’re saying shit about how “even though” you’re a hardened criminal, you can “still” appreciate beautiful gowns, like those two are somehow contradictory. Are you, mayhaps, ashamed of having this traditionally girly interest? Hmm! Interesting. Why could that be, I wonder? Why would having traditionally feminine interests or even caring about one’s appearance be seen as something inherently shameful or embarrassing, as inherently contradictory to being fierce and “hardened?”

This is all just so *clenches fist* feminist.

Forreal though, somehow Shinsay managed to take their entire made up GALAXY and make it subtly and not-so-subtly sexist. Good job, morons. Really girlbossed that one, huh?

The only bit I like about this whole mess is this:

The dressmaker had also accented her gown with a sparkling necklace full of jewels that Andi didn’t plan on giving back.

This is the one and only space pirate-y thing Andi does -- sorry, considers doing -- in the whole book and honestly could’ve been used to build her character more, but it’s just a one-off joke here. Wasted.

Valen comes to fetch her and we get some subtle foreshadowing.

“Valen the Resurrected.”

He stopped to look at her, brows raised. “What?”

She shrugged. “It’s what the press is calling you in all the feeds.” Valen let out a deep chuckle.

[...]

“Something tells me things are about to change for the better,” he said. “I’m ready to see it all happen.”

Andi wondered what he would do now that he was home with a whole planet at his disposal.

He deserved to have some fun.

Is it bad that I’m rooting for Valen to destroy everything? And this isn’t my villain-fucker coming out, I just want this poor bastard to absolutely annihilate Andi and her gang of acolytes.

Chapter 78

Andi and Valen arrive at the ball. It’s all very pretty and space-y and aesthetic. There’s a bunch of aliens everywhere. Andi sees a woman with funky eyes and assumes it’s a body mod, because I guess she knows the genetic characteristics of every species by heart and can tell when something is real or not.

An old classmate of theirs comes up to talk to Valen and congratulate him on being alive, then Andi reminds him of who she is just to be a smug asshole and the guy fucks off in a panic. She’s just so cool and badass, you guys.

Then it’s time for Valen and Andi to dance, and of course General Cortas looks like he’s about to lose his marbles because these darn kids! >:(

The chapter ends on Andi noticing Dex pouting in the distance.

“Relax,” Andi whispered. “Let’s give them something to talk about.”

She flashed him a wicked grin as the music began.

And as Valen spun her into the first move of the dance, Andi saw Dex standing on the fringes of the crowd, an expression of longing clear on his face.

Chapter 79

This chapter is exactly 298 words of Dex moping around about how he’s actually not over Andi at all when he thought he’d done such a good job of repressing his feelings, and how he should be the one dancing with Andi instead of Valen. If you’re surprised, you’re clinically dead.

[gatesofember]

i absolutely didn’t mean to imply that you’re not trans, i’m so sorry if that’s what it sounded like. i guess what i’m saying is, at least from my perspective, is that you don’t identify specifically as a transman. to me, afab transmen and afab nb people have very different experiences! of course you are no ‘less trans’ than me or anyone else, but we’re all different. just like the experiences of a lesbian and a bi woman are going to be different, even though they’re both very valid sexualities and neither is ‘less lbgt+’ than the other. but, there are just going to be some topics that resonate differently with certain people, you know? the type of transphobia and dysphoria trans nb people deal with is different than what transmen deal with, the same way lesbophobia (both internalized and from others) can be different from biphobia, and so on!

as for tagging, i guess i’m not sure? i suppose ‘trans pregnancy’ or ‘pregnant trans character’ should get the idea across fairly well.

That is a very good way of explaining it, and I agree. My experiences are different. I don’t feel much of any top dysphoria, I prefer they/them but I’m generally ok with she/her pronouns, and there are feminine things that I enjoy, like...idk, floral patterns? (But ofc men can enjoy those things too!) Occasionally I can tolerate “traditionally feminine” things being attributed to me or I even attribute them to myself. Pregnancy just is one of the things that I can’t tolerate. I guess my point was that feeling extreme dysphoria about pregnancy is not a defining characteristic of trans men, nor is it something that all trans men share, but it is something that you and I share. But you’re right, the way we experience it could still be different. Maybe for you it’s more like “I don’t want to carry children because I’m a man” whereas for me it’s more like “I don’t want to carry children because I want to rip out my uterus and just have literally nothing down there.” Also I’m asexual and it’s possible that my bottom dysphoria is half about my sexuality. So I don’t mean any disrespect and I hope that what I said didn’t come across as me playing victim or anything because it occurred to me that the way I was speaking sounded kinda like “I’m so discriminated against...pls pity me...I’m baby 😭” and that was NOT what I meant to do. I know I keep saying I’m new to this, but that does not mean you should feel obligated to baby me.

I’m still very open to listening more, but my current conclusion is that isn’t something that is inherently unethical; it’s something that varies from person to person. You’re right that some people might find it extremely triggering and I should be more careful and responsible when talking about it. In this case, I think that tagging things that people could find triggering is a more appropriate response than total censorship. Something that harms one person might be important for another person to read, and appropriate tagging and content warnings seems like the best way to protect one group without ignoring the other. So I just want to say I hear you, I’m taking your criticism to heart, and I will keep what you have said in mind in the future. I appreciate you taking the time to talk to me and being patient with me!

[blackbutler-readerinsertsandjunk]

You dont have many requests for Mr. Charles Grey?? I'm shocked! That guy is too awesome 👌Well,if requests are still open and you don't mind, may I ask for an imagine or sth for him with a ditzy but super intelligent inventor fem S/O who works directly under the Queen and invents a variety of stuff,from medical to outright weaponry.Maybe the Queen sends her on a dangerous mission and Grey has to protect her but she wanders around and gets in trouble?Idk,mais Monsieur Charles Gris est un amour 💖

Mais oui, il est très très très beau et charmant!! Je l’aime beaucoup!!! ❤️

CHARLES GREY

Oh, he adores her, but… but why does she have to go off on her own like this?! Ugh. She’s making his job so much harder! Of course, she’s very lucky he’s here to keep her safe. When all’s said and done, he doesn’t really mind taking care of her like this. It gives him the chance to be the big manly protector, which is quite clearly a plus as far as he’s concerned.

He pretends not to be interested in anything she happens to be inventing at the moment, and will often act annoyed when she prattles on about her current work. But the truth is, he’s amazed that a woman can be so smart and good with her hands to create all these things. He secretly loves listening to her talk about whatever she’s working on. Surely, Her Majesty couldn’t have found someone more capable to work as her inventor.

Whatever trouble this woman manages to get herself into, Grey will most likely end up bursting in at just the right moment. Although it’s not usually intentional, especially when someone he cares about is in danger, he has this strange sense of timing. It makes his entrance all the more dramatic and a huge relief to (Name). She’s surely in good hands with him and if she didn’t know that before, she does now!

She should be prepared to thoroughly grill him and patch him up. Grey is very concerned with appearing traditionally masculine for the Victorian era, and he overcompensates mainly because (whether others have the same opinion or not) he thinks he physically has very soft, borderline feminine features, so he has to make up for it by acting tough. This leads to him hiding any wounds he might have received while rescuing (Name). Once she manages to get it through his thick head that nobody else is around, so he doesn’t have to keep up appearances, he’ll probably relent and let her fix him up. She can expect plenty of grumbling about, “I could have done this myself” and “I’m not weak; I don’t need you to take care of me” and so on.

… The best way to shut him up is a kiss. As much as he wants to keep up that strong facade, he very much enjoys being treated gently in private. It’s something of a treat, and to have affection lavished upon him like that will soften him very quickly as long as there’s nobody else around to see it.

Obviously, whenever (Name) needs to travel anywhere in or outside of England, Grey will request that he be the one to accompany her! Not only does he truly want to keep her safe… he definitely relishes those intimate moments where they’re all alone together.

[dykerory]

for the character ask thing can you do sara, nate, and ray?

Sara Lance

favorite thing about them: I love how much of a jock she is honestly. Like this is network television so every female character is pretty traditionally feminine but sara is a *little* less so? 

least favorite thing about them: the stans who act like this is the sara show starring sara and no one else

favorite line: any time she goes into team mom mode and has to yell at the legends it’s always hilarious

brOTP: sara and mick! i feel like they really just get each other and they also have the exact same taste in women which is hilarious

OTP: i mean i guess avalance since they’re canon but i absolutely ADORE sara/kendra 

nOTP: i am not the biggest fan of c*ptain canary. I just never thought they had much chemistry romantically. 

random headcanon: i just queued a gifset of ADHD sara which i HEAVILY fuck with, and @sophiainspace wrote a fic where she has bipolar disorder and i honestly really vibe with that as well

unpopular opinion: sara is great but let’s not focus on her to the exclusion of other queer characters on the show, especially queer characters of color

song i associate with them: i’m gonna be real with you guys i’ve only ever made a playlist for mick so most of these are off the top of my head. 

favorite picture of them: absolutely any time her arms are exposed.... i gay 

other two under the cut because i don’t feel like making separate posts 

Nate Heywood

favorite thing about them: head empty, heart full

least favorite thing about them: briefly got possessed by marc guggenheim in seasons 2 & 3 but he’s better now 

favorite line:  how the hell can i keep track of the stupid shit that comes out of his mouth. probably in here i come again when he tells zari that time loops are the perfect opportunity for shenanigans 

brOTP: nate and charlie! love these two dumb thots. never read a book in their life god bless them

OTP: steelatom! i love steelwave but you saw that shit they pulled in Romeo v Juliet i can’t NOT choose them

nOTP: idk nate is such a bicycle. probably honestly charlie because then it’d be like “oh you’re just not over amaya” and it’d be gross

random headcanon: that’s a whole ass trans man 

unpopular opinion: idk he’s not as bad as some people say he is 

song i associate with them: i’m just going to hit shuffle on a playlist and say time after time by cyndi lauper 

favorite picture of them: when he was like carrying the egg in the harness? that was some cute shit

Ray Palmer 

favorite thing about them: the way the world reshapes itself to fit his optimistic world view like he just redeems everyone he comes in contact with through force of will alone 

least favorite thing about them: married a WOMAN and LEFT US. no one has done the dishes since he left things are getting dire 

favorite line:  when he was like i’m rayge i’m a punk now and mick was like i want to DIE

brOTP: i don’t know, everyone is pretty much in love with this guy no one is just a bro. maybe like amaya? 

OTP: as rachel said, my name IS atomwave atomwave and i’m abstinence until i fucking die 

nOTP: no one i can think of honestly.  

random headcanon: once swallowed a marble as a kid and didn’t tell anyone because he thought he’d get in trouble 

unpopular opinion: i miss ray but he wasn’t the only moral center on the team and they will be fine without him 

song i associate with them: *throws dart* Hot n Cold by Katy Perry 

favorite picture of them: every single second he had a mustache in that one episode. high art. 

[fandom-will-be-my-fall]

Spill your heart out about Walter.

Okay so I basically got this question in what, January?? but I’m answering it now since I just rewatched the movie and have inspiration, sorry for the late reply Anon

Okay so, to start off this post with some keyboard smashing because that my primary go-to for expressing my emotions

sgklhfsgjksdlgdghkjlgjhOHUFLUSKHDGSLIDRGKJGKFSDHGlhjglksdhkglshglllllfa. knjcthxiudhusmnvsoidhéytbvonjyxclkkvbr. haeylicfvshdkgikc

HANDSOME BOY. HANDSOME. ‘NUFF SAID.

I could legit stare all day at his beautiful face… look at him. Enchanting sky blue eyes… fluffy, wavy brown hair, cute round cheeks, lovely smile… those hidden freckles that you can hardly spot and only in certain screenshots but nevertheless they’re there to raise the cuteness factor… ALSO HIS LASHES. MAYBE IT’S NATURAL?? MAYBE IT’S MAYBELLINE?? WE SHALL NEVER KNOW

Here you may be able to spot the freckles if you squint hard enough. I have 77 screenshots but this is the best example I could find.

Secondly… well, he’s a sticc. A short sticc at that (though still slightly taller than me bc I’m smol), but a sticc regardless! And that seems to be the most attractive cartoon body type for me. Don’t judge me, I just have a thing for twinks, I’m… twinksexual or whatever.

Look at him! He would fit through my doorcrack.

(Maaaybe the reason for me liking sticcs so much is partially the fact that I like the idea of a boyfriend I can protect and support, physically and emotionally. I’m mad at the universe for not letting me scoop him up in my arms bridal style and smooch the HECK outta him.)

I’ve encountered a few posts that claimed he’s got cake but, come on. That concept has canonically been proven to be false, even by Lance. This man is flat and you can pry this opinion off my cold, dead hands.

Speaking of hands! I like his big ol hands. Nice shape. They look soft. I wanna hold them.

According to a DVD commentary, and the visual facts, he has no shoulders whatsoever. Back in Venice Killian was able to restrain him effortlessly with only one foot on his chest, even as he kept struggling ans squirming and generally put in as much effort as he possibly could. Before then, he claimed the database was the first thing he has ever caught in his life.

Conclusion, our boi’s very much NOT athletic. Which makes sense for a scientist, braining all day and stuff, and because he probably barely even eats, or sleeps which are by the way both pretty concerning implications but anyway.

STOP BEATING UP THIS POOR FRAGILE LAD FOR GOD’S SAKE. Makes me want to protect him even more. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but you get what I mean.

Now, on to the actual reason I’m so head over heels for him, a.k.a his personality.

He is one of the sweetest, kindest, purest boy characters I have ever seen in fiction, if not THE number one himself. (All my other cinnamon roll crushes are, or have been a villain at some point and WILL resort to violence if provoked.) Look at him, his pacifism… is unbreakable. He’s dead set on making the world a better place, by peaceful ways, and helping humanity. If that’s not a quality to be cherished then IDK what is.

And he’s just such a refreshing character. He likes pink, K-dramas, glitter, kittens, things that aren’t traditionally “masculine” (but is never made fun of those things in particular in the movie) and I love that. Nothing’s sexier than a man who’s, despite society’s shitty standards, openly and unashamedly himself!

His femininity is, if anything, just another turn-on. (This didn’t intend to sound sexual… but oh well.) I love his little hand gestures and mannerisms, dorky ramblings, the way he says “yep” popping the “p” at the end, all the small yet significant traits that were incorporated into his character. Bless you, SiD creators, bless you.

Have I said that he’s a genius?? Which is pretty obvious but c’mon, he graduated at 15!! He can modify human genes!! He successfully turned a man into a pigeon on the first try!! (The serum wasn’t the first prototype but we can assume he didn’t experiment on living humans with the previous ones.) And he’s still just 20!! Like what is that if not hella fucking impressive???!??

His inventions, to the untrained eye, may seem “stupid” or “childish” but alas! The observer couldn’t be more wrong! Because despite the odd designs and themes they’re all highly effective, as we have witnessed in the battle against Killian. And he is extremely creative for coming up with such ideas! Told you he’s brilliant!!

Which makes me all the sadder about how much they underappreciated him at the agency. In his words, nobody ever listened to him, or gave him a chance. They just left him and his “weird” ideas next to the men’s bathroom and called it a day. How could they be so blind? Didn’t they see the potential in his inventions? Oh well. Maybe I’m just being a smartass bc I have more knowledge, living outside that universe. But I’m totally right.

And I was honestly ready to throw hands with Lance for hurting the boi even further. (I’d stand no chance whatsoever, but still.)

Oh no baby please don’t cry.

He did cry in that scene though… you could see a tear rolling down his cheek and if it wasn’t for the machine beeping… He did have a pretty rough day afterall. But HEY, if we dwell on it too much the scene loses its comedic effect!! A guy gets sad over a stupid soap opera, har har har!! Now let’s move on, keep it fast and snappy for the kids, don’t let them overthink it!! Can’t have any emotional breakdowns onscreen. Keep it lighthearted y’know. Then let’s kill a random side character and have our dear protagonist almost die twice.

(Well jokes on you Blue Sky! I’m no kid, but a devoted fangirl who can and will overthink any material of my fictional faves at any given opportunity.)

You know what else I love about him though?? His love for animals!! And pigeons, especially Lovey!! He loves her so much, gives her gluten free breadcrumbs, nuzzles her, the first thing he does when he finds out Lance can talk to the pigeons is ask if she loves him too!! Like… That’s so pure and wholesome.

This here. THIS RIGHT HERE. BROTP forever.

(Not gonna lie, I used to be crazy for pigeons for like, an entire year or something. Not as in looking up all the facts there are about pigeons as I do nowadays with cartoons, but I’d feed them regularly and write my little observations on their behaviors. Did you know they sometimes scratch their neck with their leggies like dogs do?)

I think I’ve summed up mostly everything I love about this nerd. Oh wait, almost forgot the sass!! I love how sassy and smug he can be sometimes, in like, a really harmless way but it’s still a very nice characteristic.

Since I’ve ran out of coherent things to say, here’s an incomplete list of things I want to do to Walter Beckett. Put at the end of this post so those of you who were only here for the analysis part and not the selfshippy gushing don’t have to read further:

kiss he

like seriously

just kiss he a whole lot

cover his whole face in kisses

one kiss for each of his freckles. a finishing kiss onto the tip of his nose. then repeat the cycle

hug him. hug him like the world is ending. hug him so tight he can barely breathe

then ofc let go and apologize bc I would never hurt him on purpose

cuddle him

hold him close, let him lay his head on my chest

run my fingers through his hair

listen to his breathing

discover that he’s fallen asleep on me and smile fondly, then soon drift off to sleep myself so we can wake up entangled in eachother the next morning

fuck he

pin him to a wall and snog he

make him go cherry red

fluster he

compliment him. praise him. appreciate him. he’s a prince, a hero, an angel, a wonderful human being and he needs to know this

feed pigeons together

listen to his scientific ramblings and bird facts

write him love letters and give them to him. maybe read it aloud myself if I’m feeling brave so I can see his reaction in real time

serenade he

be the love of his life, and have him be mine

just… soft things, man

cook something for this malnourished sticc

make him small handmade gifts

they’re nothing like his gadgets but I tried

draw he

have him be my muse in general

not like he isn’t now but it would be lovely if he was real too

carry him bridal style

be the feral cryptid that lurks in his house when he isn’t around

sing along to cheesy pop-song together really badly

watch cheesy rom coms

flirt with eachother clumsily until we’re both laughing at our awkwardness

or, alternatively, shower him with compliments until he literally cannot handle it

have sleepovers together

give him hand kisses

be of emotional support

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #291

“clothes trailing from the backdoor, to the bedroom, and i don’t even know your name.”

What was the last health scare you had? So I got blood tests done recently to check multiple things, and I got pretty nervous when my doctor stood beside me going through the numbers and what they meant. I was afraid she was going to tell me I had diabetes (runs in the fam, and my diet hadn't been great) or something, but I was fine. What is your favorite food to cook? Something in the microwave lmao. Do you listen to bluegrass music? Ew. What was the last novel you read about? Well it' s part of a series so it'd be hard to explain briefly... but dragons. That'll do ig, lol. If there is a tree right outside your window, what kind is it? There's a small one. Idk what it is. What is your favorite filling for a piece of chocolate? Caramel. What is your favorite thing to draw? If you take a look at my work history... I apparently love drawing meerkats screaming for one reason or another lmao. Do you like abstract art? Not very much. There are of course exceptions to this, but it's definitely not my favorite and sometimes doesn't even feel like "art" to me. Would you ever want to be a painter? No. My Painting course in school taught me it's too damn stressful, the idea of messing up. Even though it's technically fixable. There's just a lot about painting I don't like. I'd much rather draw and color traditionally. What is your passion? Some of my biggest consists of gay rights (or really just equal rights as a whole), meerkats, pacifism, photography, just art in general, stuff like that. I feel things very deeply, so there's really a lot. What fascinates you? NATURE!!!!!!! SO MUCH ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Do you have art on your walls? In my room, I have three of my meerkat projects on the wall with my meerkat collection, and my Pyramid Head/Halo of the Sun overlap drawing is with my Silent Hill stuff. What kind of collection would you like to start? I have a decent amount of stuff, but I really would love to pump up my SH collection. It has SO much merch that I would die for, stuff is just mad expensive. If I was to start a new collection, bitch I need Markiplier stuff so bad, I'm too awkward to ask for that shit for holidays 'n stuff. ;;_;; Do you enjoy the sound of birds chirping? I sure do. If you had the money, would you travel the world? I feel like I'd go to less locations than most people you could ask this question, but I'd definitely go places, yeah. If you could travel the world, which country would you want to go to first? South Africa. Make my meerkat dreams come true. :') Do you get drunk? I haven't before, and I don't actually aim to when I drink (which is very rare) and I'm apparently no lightweight, so I doubt I ever will. Don't feel like I'm missing out, honestly. Do you get high? Nah. Have you ever used a prescription medication to get high? No. Does sunlight make you happier? Guys. This is science. I used to hate the sun so much, but it's good for you. Open your windows on a clear day; your body will thank you. It takes getting used to, but please, don't coop yourself up in the dark. Do you live a boring life? My life is excruciatingly boring. Like not to sound depressing, but half the time I wish I wasn't even alive because I'm so bored lmao. Have you ever gotten soap in your mouth for cursing? Do you think that’s right to do to kids who curse? No, but it's been threatened upon me. I don't support it, no, but then again I don't believe in traditional "profanity." My hypothetical four-year-old could say "that fucking hurt" in our own household, and just a simple word indicating (s)he was really in pain wouldn't faze me for a blink. I do believe out of respect though, that you should educate your children when "profanity" isn't allowed, like in school and such. You don't shove potentially toxic shit into your kid's mouth to teach them something. What age do you think is appropriate for kids to start watching horror movies with lots of gore? This definitely depends on the child. Are they spooked easily? How mature are they? Do they understand what's not to be replicated? It would vary with the film, too. Do you have any wind chimes outside your house? How many? No, but I'd love to. Wind chimes are great. Do you have a flat stomach? Would you ever wear a belly shirt to show it off? I hate my stomach more than I do any other part of my body, so guess. Would you ever get a sleeve or a half sleeve on your arm (we’re talking about tattoos)? omfg hell YES Do you think your biological parents love each other? They're long-divorced and Dad's been remarried for a long time while Mom only has negative shit to say about him, so like... What's one movie you’re dying to see but haven’t had the chance to see yet? *Dying* to, I don't know if one exists. Birds of Prey probably tops my want-to-see list, though. Harley moving past Joker? Girl you fuckin go ilu. What’s the biggest promise someone’s ever made to you? Did they keep it? To never leave me because of my illnesses. Nope, he sure didn't. Does thunder & storms scare you? Nah, not usually. It's funny, I was TERRIFIED of them as a kid, especially if I wasn't with my mom, but now I find them beautiful and sometimes even relaxing. Now, wind, I fucking hate wind. I associate bad winds with tornadoes, so fuck outta here w/ that. Google, Bing, or Yahoo? Google. Do you sing in front of people? NO. Who are you the most uncomfortable around? Groups of older men. Are your parents overprotective? No. A recent creation that you’re proud of? I took family pictures for a repeat client recently, and I'm really happy with how some came out. Who’s your favorite comedian? Living, I'm unsure. It was John Pinette. What makes you squeamish? Vomit and fecal matter top the list. Do you have any online friends that you wanna keep, but not meet? Maybe a couple that I don't know too well? Should cloning ever be allowed to happen? No. I see a lot of potential problems with that should it become a serious thing. Who would you live with if you got kicked out tomorrow? Probably my dad. What’s a pet your parents never let you have when you were a kid? A snake. I was eventually allowed though obviously, and now Mom loves Venus, though she won't hold her. Who do you wish you could change, if anyone? It's not my job to change anyone else. You have to want to change. Has your house ever been broken into? No, but my childhood home almost was by a gang. My older sister and her best friend were home alone at the time. Thank fuck they didn't get in, but they left a gang flag on our porch. Would you consider yourself a good flirt? I have no idea. What color do you wear most often? You mean to tell me black isn't the only primary color in people's wardrobes? Do you like your hair? Disregarding the fact it gets oily way too fast, yes. Have you ever driven while under the influence? No, I would absolutely never. Did you enjoy your last kiss? Yeah. Would you ever take boudoir photos for a significant other? (or have you?) Considering I literally love boudoir, I would if I didn't hate the fuck outta my body and would be too embarrassed to ever do it. What is your biggest guilty pleasure? Maybe makeup guru channels lmaooo. What is a movie that you thought you would hate but actually ending up enjoying? I'm unsure. I don't really go into watching a movie I think I'll hate, especially when I watch so few movies to begin with. Do you like where you live? I'm not a fan of the suburbs, but it's a better place than where we were. Are you a jealous person? I'm learning that apparently I might be, at least sometimes. Is there anyone you want to fix things with? There are a few. Last time you walked further than a block? I couldn't tell you. I walk a few feet (that's not an exaggeration) and am in pain because of the muscle atrophy in my legs. Is it easy for you to accept loss? NO. NUH-UH. NOPE. Do you get dessert normally while out to eat? No. Who was your first kiss? Jason, my first "real" boyfriend. Have you ever found a stray dog & found its owners? Not that I recall. Would you ever tell your mom about the things you’ve done sexually? Not everything, no. When was the last time you told someone you love them? Last night. Who was the last person you talked to last night in person before bed? Ma. When was the last time that you were genuinely happy? Good damn question. Have you ever dyed your hair? Plenty of times. Have you ever fallen asleep with the last person you kissed? Yeah. When was the last time you changed in front of someone? I don't know; when you hate your body enough, you'll do a lot to avoid that. Last person you kissed, have you cried in front of them? Yes. Ever dated someone who was gorgeous but they had a conceited personality? No. A conceited asshole is the last kind of person I'm dating. Would you prefer a kiss on the cheek or neck? Well I mean what's the vibe lmao Do you like to cuddle? Yeah, if we're a close couple and it's not too hot. Have you ever suspected anyone of cheating on you? Nah. Could you ever be friends with the person who hurt you most in life? I wish we could, but even if he was willing, I don't think "friendship" is possible between us. What is something “cheesy” that you own? Ha, I have this feminine-looking "she believed she could so she did" wall decor thing... I can't remember if I bought it or if it was gifted. What is something that gets your creative juices flowing? MUSIC!!! What drink are you most likely to order at a bar? Some kind of margarita. What is the most interesting class that you took in high school or college? Mythology, I guess? When was the last time that you’ve ever played Spin the Bottle? I never have to begin with. If you were an adult film star or a stripper, what would your stage name be? I can't even try to entertain this question. Even if I WANTED to be one, I would never be hired. I couldn't seriously think of a name. Have you ever wanted to be a cheerleader? No, not even when I was one as a kid lmao. Have you ever been dumped? What was the reason for it? Yeah. The first one, he couldn't handle my depression anymore. With my last partner, we kinda had a mutual agreement that to save us from potential later heartbreak, we needed to work more on ourselves right now. What was the last R-rated movie you watched? Hm. Idk. Have you ever asked someone out? Yes. Have you ever had lice? No. What is the most childish thing that you still do? I mean, with RP, you could argue that I still "play pretend." Have you ever watched a movie you knew you shouldn’t? As a kid, I'm pretty sure I was not supposed to see whatever Scary Movie film it was when I did, aha. Have you ever wanted to try LARP (Live Action Role-Play)? Nah. I'm awkward enough explaining I just write it. If you could go back in time and erase one thing you said or did, what would it be? The "thanks for sending me to the hospital" message to Jason. Has your boyfriend or girlfriend ever embarrassed you? Jason did before, if we're counting past partners. Have you ever thought about cheating on your partner? I never thought of that in any relationship, no. Have you ever been caught checking someone out? Not to my recollection. Not that I even do that much. Have you ever cried because you missed your parents so much? Oh, absofuckinglutely as a little kid. I had BAD separation anxiety from my mom. Have you ever posted something on social media that you regret? OH BOY HAVE I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have you ever ding dong ditched someone? No. Which is worst: Snakes, scorpions, or spiders? I adore snakes. Some spiders scare me, especially if they catch me by surprise. Scorpions aren't native here, so I've actually never come across one, so I'd probably be more curious than frightened. Is there an attic and/or a basement in your house? An attic, yeah. Have you ever been bitten by a tick? Has anyone not? Well, I suppose this depends on your environment. Playing outside in the country as a kid a lot, and especially walking through tall grass to reach fishing spots with Dad, I've had lots. I'm terrified of parasites so those were never fun times. What color is your mom’s car? White. Have you ever had a bird or a squirrel in your house? No. How high off the ground is your bed? The average, ig. What is the cutest breed of dog? That's such a hard question, but I think I tend to lean towards pugs, though I don't support breeding them or any other type that is a medical catastrophe. What is something other people say you’re good at but you think you’re not? Holding a conversation. I call BS. What does your bedside lamp look like? It's a creamy color with a floral design. It was already here at the house when we moved in. Do you like your neighbors? I don't know them. Does your room need to be cleaned? I need to finish decorating it... and dust the dresser. What was the last bug you saw? Ugh, a fucking ant. This house has had an ant problem before, and now they're showing up in my room here and there. Do you place any value in gender roles? Literally zero. Are your platonic relationships just as valuable as romantic or family ones? Well, I suppose it would depend on the person. How strong is that platonic relationship? Are you in love? Do you want to be? I don't think *in* love anymore, no; I reasoned myself out of that. I think most people WANT to be in the name of companionship, and being a pretty hopeless romantic, your wild guess would probably be right. Would you be happy with a life without romance? I'd live. Are you religious? Do you think your religion is ‘correct’? No. If you aren’t religious, do you wish you were? Why? Nope. Religion only ever brought me confusion, pain, and frustration. Are your choices fated or of your own free will? I am very much a believer in free will and that you sculpt your own fate. Was your childhood happy? For the most part. What are you missing from your life? Excitement. Would you fight for your country? Do you feel a sense of loyalty to your nation? No. And if my country did something fucked up, I wouldn't stand with the masses just because I live here. What’s the latest YouTube channel you’ve discovered and binge-watched? Snake Discovery, like, hardcore. Does it snow where you live? Every now and then, but it's super rare for the snow to stick, and it's maybe even rarer that we get a good or fun amount. Do you think your hair looks better long or short? UGGGGHHHHHH I AM SO MUCH HAPPIER W/ SHORT HAIR. Do you enjoy editing photos on your phone? Not really on my phone, no. I don't have good image quality on my phone, so editing tends to make it worse. What’s your favorite thing to do on your phone? Play Pokemon GO if I'm actually in a place with spawns. Which season do you wish would last longer? Sigh, autumn. At least here, the colorful phase is pretty short. It's like... green leaves one day, a beautiful display for a week, then the trees are bare. It's still my favorite season, though. Do you have neat handwriting? Yeah. Did you dream of becoming famous as a kid? Nah. Do you get on Facebook every day? Pretty much. What was your favorite girl group when you were growing up? Spice Girls, duh. Would you ever consider naming a child after a family member? No. I've got nothing against people who do, but I've just never seen the appeal of it at all. I would want my hypothetical child to have their completely own identity.

[theshinsun]

A-Z for honesty hour because I'm an asshole. :D

A - If I’m in love.

...yes. I never thought I would be again, I thought I’d been too hurt and jaded to feel this way again, but against all odds, I’m back to being 17 in full force.

B - Who the last person I talked to on the phone was.

The only one who ever calls me is my mother. And customers at work.

C - How long it’s been since I’ve kissed.

damn, almost a year now… not since my last relationship ended back in October-ish. even then, it was mostly casual pecks idk if we ever seriously made out tbh.

D - If I have a preference for boys or girls.

already answered (twice) but I'll keep going… I've got a definite preference of guys over girls, but I'm also a bi disaster and sometimes it doesn't make a lot of sense why this person is instantly attractive to me while that person isn't. certain aspects of femininity do appeal to me, but weirdly other aspects seem to be a turn-off and I can't always put my finger on what or why. ...that caveat does not apply to masculinity though, even if it's traditionally "masculine" features on a feminine-presenting individual I am 100% down every time.

E - How many holes I have in my ears.

two and a half? I got a third piercing at some point halfway up the lobe but it got infected and scarred over I think. the holes I do have are also stretched (I'm up to 0G now) and I've been meaning to get some more.

F - Give me any options, like ‘hot or cold?’

wasn't given any options, so I guess I'll go with hot or cold lol. I prefer hot, I'm one of those weirdos who loves summer because of the heat and I'll usually take a hot food/drink over a cold one.

G - The last person I said ‘I love you’ to.

my mom, over the phone just now.

H - The last person I hugged.

my roommate. we're not always super touchy-feely with each other but I've been feeling kind of down and she noticed.

I - The last time I felt jealous, and why.

I'm not usually a very jealous person, but the last time I really felt that way… I'd recently broken up with my ex, and they were sitting on someone else's lap and I… felt things. part of the reason I realized I may have made a mistake.

J - Are you insecure. What about?

K - What my full name is

already answered, my first and middle are Jacob Brooks, I'm not putting my last name out there sorry I don't trust like that.

L - If I have siblings.

already answered, I've got two, an older brother and a younger sister.

M - If I forgive betrayal.

I mean, I forgive but I don't forget, ya know? like I'll accept an apology if it's sincere and welcome the person back and never bring it up again, but I'm probably gonna be cautious around them in the future, and not trust them as readily as I would have before.  

N - If you want to know how I treat my friends.

if I call someone my friend it means I really feel close with them, and I treat my friends basically like my family. I try to always be honest and supportive of them, bc I love and appreciate them and just want them to be happy. 

O - If I like my school.

I love my school. the campus is beautiful, the teachers are fantastic, and I just love being there and learning and growing in my classes. I'm really sad this semester is probably going to be mostly online because I really feel like I belong in those studios and on that campus and I miss it.

P - What kind of music I like.

already answered, and it mostly boiled down to all over the fuckin place, so this time… band recommendations, here we go. no you have no say in this.

here, have a clump of random favorite bands off the top of my head: mother mother, bad suns, nothing but thieves, hozier, shearwater, the neighbourhood, steam powered giraffe, rainbow kitten surprise, the oh hellos, gregory alan isakov, caravan palace, mystery skulls, khai dreams, autoheart, muse, silversun pickups, thousand foot krutch, two door cinema club, twenty one pilots, blue october, jukebox the ghost

Q - What the last party I went to was, and when the next will be.

I'm not a partier at All, but I did have a bunch of friends over for the 4th (okay I say a bunch but it was like four people from our usual less-socially distant circle). I have no idea when the next get-together will be, it's kinda hard to plan those kinds of things lately.

R - For me to tell 10 of my curiosities.

the phrasing of this question is weird but I'm gonna assume it means things I'm curious about? let's go with that.

travel. I haven't ever been out of the country and I'd like to see other parts of the world at least at some point in my life.

tattoos. both getting them and learning to do them, it's a niche branch of art that I'm just fascinated by and I might like to do it as a career if I knew more about it.

same thing with being a florist. I'm really drawn to it as a concept and I'm super curious how it works, but I have no idea what kind of… qualifications and whatnot I'd need for that.

 surfing. I'm surrounded by the lifestyle and now kind of own a surfboard, I just want to know what the appeal is.

this may be a bit tmi, but I'm really curious what it's like to have a dick. I don't suppose I'll strictly ever know, but I still really want to… probably one of the biggest things to clue me in that I'm definitely trans is the literal penis envy ngl. 

I've always kind of had a fascination with the ocean, and I'd love to go like, scuba diving or something someday, to see it up close and personal.

I think everyone has the impulse thought of shaving their head at some point. maybe someday I will I don't quite have the balls to do it now.

I've gone this long in my life and never wielded a sword? a travesty. I don't pretend to have the grace to actually know how to use one, but I've like, never even held a real one and the idea interests me a lot.

this one might be slightly morbid curiosity, but I don't think I've ever been like, properly drunk or high before, like I've been tipsy but I've never been wasted, you know? the idea kind of scares me and I don't think I'm going to go out and remedy it, but it's still there, and even if I know it's not a good idea, I do still wonder what that's like.

same vein, maybe even a little darker, but I've got at least a little morbid curiosity about like, death and real danger. again, not planning to act on it At All, but the thought is still lurking in the back of my mind like what if…? you asked for honesty.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

S - 2 habits.

bit of a new habit, but I have a whole ritual of disinfecting groceries when I bring them home, and then disinfecting the door knobs and counters. I don't know if it'll persist after the pandemic is over, but it's already ingrained in me and I don't feel comfortable if I skip it or do  it differently.

I apologize for things that aren't my fault. it's such an instinct at this point to say "sorry" when I'm uncomfortable or anxious that it doesn't even register anymore, even when people tell me not to be sorry, I'm still gonna say it, sorry.

T - 5 things I love unconditionally.

already answered so here's 5 more

my family. if I haven't got my family I haven't got anything, we've got each others' backs and I won't turn on them for anything

my friends. same deal, I owe so much to my friends, I love them, and that won't change no matter what they decide to do or be.

sleep. I love sleep so much, even if it's just an involuntary nap, though for someone who loves it so much I sure don't get enough of it

spotify. I know it has problems, I know there are probably more streamlined/cheaper music streaming services out there, but at this point, I've sunk too much of my time and energy into this one and I'll never give it up

my ocs. I don't talk about them very much on this platform, but I have them, they're my children, and I love them even if they're assholes and never easy to write/draw. 

U - How many texts I send daily.

already answered, the number varies, and sometimes swings drastically between like, 5 and 35 on any given day.

V - 3 big dreams.

graduate art school. it's gonna be a serious undertaking and probably take several more years and a lot of loans at this point, but I'm still determined to get there someday.

someday I want to write a book. I know I've said that before on a different prompt, but it wouldn't be a list of dreams without including this one that I've held onto since childhood. 

this one's kind of vague, but someday… I want to not be afraid anymore. like I want to finally be in a state of mental/financial security so I can live my life without the fear of what's coming next. 

W - An idol.

it's probably really basic to list a youtuber, but I've still gotta go with Chase Ross. the guy was an inspiration and a major source of information and support for me early-on in my transition, and even watching him now I still want to approach life with the pure positive energy and confidence that he has. 

X - If I’ve done something I regret very much.

yes. a couple things, really… some of which I don't think I'll ever be able to make up for.

Y - If I like my town and why.

my current town? yeah, it's got its problems but it's also beautiful and full of life and art and unique energy and I miss the days before the Corona End Times when I could actually go out and enjoy it.

Z - Ask any question you want.

??? I did not receive any specification for this one, and given that I didn't skip even the duplicate answers and this is ridiculously long, this one I'm gonna SKIP.

[shitpostingfromthebarricade]

hi i sent the ask about wondering how the hc of jehan being nb began, and i’m not always so great with words, so i think it may have come off a lil bit wrong. i was asking bc i just keep seeing people portraying jehan in dresses and skirts and small and skinny and going “uwu my lil nb baby” and it just felt kind of wrong to me. i’m not arguing against the hc or anything i see absolutely nothing wrong with it i just felt like it was really wrong and i get really upset over these things cuz (1/2)

i’ve always struggled with my gender identity and i don’t really know who i am or where i fit and idk what i’m saying really but seeing things like that just make me so uncomfortable and they feel almost like someone came up and slapped me in the face themselves. tbh idk what i’m saying anymore but ya i just wanted to clear things up because i felt like i was a little harsh/ignorant with my original ask. (2/2)

So first things first: you weren’t harsh or arrogant, and especially when you are stepping into the waters of advocating for yourself it can feel really uncomfortable.  I am so proud of you for speaking up for yourself and how you feel represented.  Gender is such a difficult topic to grapple, and I think a lot of people who don’t comfortably identify within the binary find peace in accepting that gender is both a construct and a journey, and your answer and feelings may change throughout your life, and that’s okay.

What you describe here is a really complex topic: woobifying trans people is an enormous problem in the trans community (even the queer community, if we also want to consider the trend of commodifying “gay best friends” and other objectifying stereotypes), as is falling into the trap of often presenting nb people as looking a particular way or another (frequently as you describe: skinny and androgynous--nothing wrong with presenting this way, but the nb representation that does exist often weighs inordinately in this direction).  

I think another issue here is, though, that there is a common headcanon for Jehan’s appearance that exists entirely independent of eir gender identity, y’feel?  Jehan is frequently presented as nb and androgynous, but I’ve seen plenty of situations where ey’re still presented as a man...and look the same.  I think it’s hard to separate the character and the gender identity because, well, a character is a personality that we then assign labels to that we feel do or do not fit.  Were they real, it would be up to them to determine what labels they find accurate or inaccurate.  Unfortunately, neither Jehan nor Vicky are available to provide clarification in this particular case.

Consider Enjolras, or Grantaire, or Bahorel: most of the fandom have a pretty particular idea of how they look, right?  And that appearance often remains the same regardless of gender headcanons (for example, I HC that Bahorel is he/him nb, and I also HC that he looks like Jason Momoa: they’re not mutually exclusive).  Nonbinary in particular has extraordinary potential for diversity given that it’s any presentation that does not fall strictly into the narrow categories of “man” and “woman.”  

Regarding clothing: I think that also goes along with bucking gender norms.  One does not have to wear clothing traditionally reserved for one gender or the other to be nonbinary (read: you are still valid if you are AMAB and not interested in wearing skirts or dresses, or AFAB and want to continue to wear them), but it’s also not something off-limits.  It is also not something reserved for trans people: cis people who want to also frequently break these gender norms.  The example that comes to mind most immediately is this super-fly look, but also I want you to please consider that I personally currently live in a culture where men frequently have long hair and wear hot pink sarongs anytime that they’re not working in the fields, and no one would ever doubt their masculinity: gender is a cultural concept, as are the performative acts that represent it.  As such, I don’t see the portrayal of Jehan wearing a skirt or a dress as being inherently infantilizing or femininizing.

I agree that I would love to see more diversity in appearance and representation, and I agree that we as a society should be more cautious about how we discuss trans people and characters (I remember this being a major topic of discussion during Druck too).  I also believe, however, that people are allowed to present however they want, regardless of their gender identity.

I wish you the best of luck on your journey of self-discovery, and I invite you to please reach out to me if you ever want to discuss this further!