#trans exclusionary gay man

[redditreceipts]

lesbian subreddits: "yes of course we affirm anyone and everyone to call themselves a lesbian, even if they are a straight male that never even considered transitioning! That's just a ✨trans butch lesbian✨! Also saying that you don't want to suck her girlcock makes you a bigoted terf nazi and you deserve to be banned forever by our mod team which is entirely comprised of heterosexual males"

meanwhile gay male subreddits:

Why can't lesbian and bisexual women have what they have 😭 why is it on the women to always include men, but it's never expected of men to include women?

[oliverdaisy]

Who's interested in booking today 🙃😊

[daylightelise]

it's my first time here how do I look on this? 🥰❣️🌹

[juicykiyanavi]

Can i show you 6.5inch more on your dm🍑🍆🍆

[funkycarabiner]

transphobes stay mad cause I have better things to do w my time than get on the internet and hate entire minorities over one of them allegedly calling me a name one time

[carrieeesblogg]

Can I be your baby?😍🤭

[aliciacolon69]

[stump-water]

seeing another (i think?) gay transsexual man call himself butch made me sob my lights out in a very long-needed way today

[oliverdaisy]

Reblog if you love trans

[decolonize-the-left]

I've noticed a rise in radfems/TERFs in feminism tags and more specifically trying to rebrand as The Real Feminism or True Feminism since it's "for the girlies" or whatever.

I am begging you all to help me bury them.

Because as a teen who grew up during the peak of exclusionary "bi/pan/aces aren't vaild" and "kill all men" era where the concept of misandry THRIVED I'm telling you this feels extremely similar.

And radfem/terf ideology got mainstream from those sentiments being so popular and so easy to tap into. It was framed as being righteous since men were oppressors.

"Women are good and men are just mean oppressors! Look at everything they've done!" is such a common sentiment in those circles.

It also completely lacks critical feminist thought.

And we're STILL dealing with the affects of it over a decade later.

.....So let's talk about JKR since she's currently the Figurehead and favorite of the movement that's trying to rewrite feminist history.

It's 2023. It's a year before a US election where Project 2025 and Trump would happily create a road for trans and queer folks to be imprisoned if not worse.

Which is I'm sure why JKR has been photographed and interacting with multiple members from The Heritage Foundation, people whove spoken for them, and people who attended theyre meetings. She even enjoyed watching Magdalen, who who she credits for becoming a TERF.

But do you know who Magdalen is? Or what else she was saying? What about any of the other people in the photo? Do you know the scope of what JKR was internalizing and how bad it was? Do you know she has ties to conservative anti-abortion groups?

Do you know what The Heritage Foundation? Probably not and they're the worst so let me tell you why it's such a huge red flag for her and other so-called TERFs and radfems to be associated with them.

Because I can tell you right now she heard a lot of things from those people and there is no fucking way in hell that it was just about queer people or just some sex-specific concerns. And it wasn't just passive bigotry.

Anyone who doesn't conform to the idea of a white, straight nuclear family (re: single mothers, leftists, immigrants, gay couples, etc) is made out to be an enemy of the state.

Anyone they can justify as a "national threat." Yes, they call us all a national threat on their site, their book, and the pamphlets they pass out to politicians. The details are listed on their website including the Mandate For Leadership which is their instruction guide for the next president.

I'm not exaggerating when I say it calls for genocide, prison camps, and eugenic cleansing.

Several people in that photo don't even support abortion, a basic women's rights that JKR claims to care about deeply.

JKR was consuming white supremacist dogma under the guise of feminism.

And she's not willing to admit or correct it which is where the problem lies. She won't even admit to herself that she was fooled or that it's bad or hypocritical.

My concern is that she is not the only person who's fallen for it and there are more everyday.

So it's very important to me y'all learn how to filter out what Actual Feminism is in this age where literal fascism is attempting to take its place.

Firstly,

Real, actual feminism will be welcoming to EVERYONE

Because the patriarchy doesn't only affect women or cis people or white women and it's an insult to every previous feminist icon to say otherwise.

Feminists have been fighting for decades to unite people under the concept that Patriarchy is a system that will be brought down with allyship and solidarity.

They've been fighting so hard and so long to prove that everyone deserves the same rights as men.

That women are just as capable as men and shouldn't be stopped from entering fields of study and sports dominated by men. They've been fighting to prove that women are just as capable and smart as any man is, that men would benefit from it dismantling patriarchy too.

Women fought side by side with the queer community to get Roe v Wade passed in 1973. You know why? Because despite what radfems and TERFs will tell you trans women benefit from protecting and standing up for bodily autonomy.

Do not let bigots tear drive a wedge between two groups that experience gender based oppression and would benefit from the same exact rights.

We have changed history together and they're terrified we'll do it again.

A screenshot from the largest feminist organization active right now, The National Organization of Women.

Notice how the T is included. They even posted this video two years ago when LGBT and specifically trans rights started really coming under attack in 2022.

Trans women are women.

Trans men are men.

ALL women deserve rights.

Every gender deserves equality and fairness.

And feminism is for all of us or it is for none of us.

Because nobody deserves to be treated the way patriarchy treats us.

[fandomsandfeminism]

Every time I sit down to read about queer history, I'm always struck by how deeply sexuality and gender and gender expression used to be interwoven. (And for many of us still are.)

These days, I see people arguing that straight cis drag queens and GNC folks aren't "actually lgbt+" (one of the limits of using lgbt+ rather than queer), and acting like trans/nonbinary/genderqueer folks are a wholly separate group than lesbian/gay/bi/etc folks. People, lgbt+ people, talking bad about xenogenders and neopronouns because they are too weird, just for attention, giving us all a bad name, etc.

But this separation between gender, sexuality, and presentation is *new*

Looking back at history, especially within US and Western Europe, and either you were a heterosexual man/woman who presented accordingly, or you *werent.* That was the divide. If you transgressed on any 1 of those things- you were transgressing on ALL of them.

Being gay/bi inherently called your gender into question. Being gender nonconforming immediately reflected upon your sexuality. There wasn't a divide between these concepts. They were one and the same. You were *normal* or you were queer. And of course, not all gay/bi/lesbian folks were crossdressing (how else did one stay in the closet?) , and not all people in gender nonconforming clothing had a sexual interest in the same sex. But these ideas were constantly melding together. To be a man was to be straight and dress "like a man." To be a woman was to be straight and "dress like a woman." They defined each other.

In much of the country, you could be arrested if you weren't wearing at least 3 pieces of "correctly gendered" clothing. That's the rule that got a lot of folks arrested in gay bars- regardless of sex or gender. Even after same sex dancing was technically legalized, crossdressing would get you beaten and arrested by the cops. Cops would "inspect" bar patrons to ensure they were dressed in the "correct" clothes when raids occurred.

And that's not to say that the community was ever fully free of assimilationist/exclusionist factions. There have always been groups, generally of cis/gender-confirming gay, lesbian, and bisexuals who argued in favor of respectability and fitting in and showing a willingness to leave the crossdressers and drag queens and butches behind if it meant they could keep their white collar jobs. If it meant social tolerance and safety for *them.*

But we should be able to recognize that the heart and soul of queer Liberation is in unity and embracing the weird, not shunning it. That we are strongest when we stand together.

I don't think it's WRONG for us today to distinguish gender, sexuality, and presentation as different aspects of identity. But I think we should be very very careful to not let that nuance lead to exclusionary or over-compartmentalized thinking about queer issues.

[genderkoolaid]

Your bastardization of the words "lesbian" and "butch" have only made it harder for trans and nb butches to identify with the label openly. Now pray tell how "non-men loving non-men" is enby-exclusionary? Do you hold that same sentiment about "non-women loving non-women"? Can a cis woman who has identified that way for most of her life come out and say "I am a gay man" whilst still identifying as a cis woman? Sounds pretty fucking stupid, right?

I can just tell your most used app is tiktok lmfao. Read up on queer history and maybe I'll come off anon

oh my friend this isn't an actual debate. i just found you funny because you keep saying very silly things very confidently. i do not care if you come off anon lol

[genderqueerdykes]

Do you think, as a trans gay man, I can ID with the term bear/bear cub? I really like the term but I feel like I don’t really belong in the MLM community because I’m trans :/

you absolutely can!

trans bears are a very important part of the community!i know the mlm/gay community can seem very hostile at first and there are some folks who are obnoxious about bodies, but you belong in the gay male community if you are a gay man, regardless of your agab!

you are absolutely in the right to identify that way! good luck, i hope you start to feel a bit better soon, i know people can be rude and exclusionary, but trans men and trans bodies belong in the MLM community. trans gay man bodies are a gay man's body.

take care, stay safe! we love bears (<--- fellow trans bear)

[cock-holliday]

While I do think the internet has the unique opportunity to amplify brain-poisoning, I wish discourse wasn’t so heavily split into “online vs irl” when it’s much more an issue of…exclusionary politics and idpol hierarchy brainrot.

“This doesn’t happen offline” the problem is, it does. Because people who captain themselves the arbiter of validity on tumblr dot org are possibly also going to be a self-righteous dorkass at your DEI training, or when organizing lesbian night at the bar, or being president of a queer org on campus, or running LGBT orgs people rely on for survival. Many of the most exclusionary queer spaces were made offline first. Offline spaces organized by young folks from online spaces with no grasp of offline history are going to be just as rife with “terminally online” takes as any website.

Your local steel mill line is both likely to be violently homophobic out of bigoted ignorance AND supremely immune to microidentity politics because it means absolutely nothing to Joe Factory, who will shrug and go “hey man whatever makes you happy.”

Your liberal arts college is both likely to be aware of the niche politics of queer identity and will have heard of and be welcoming to your set of neopronouns AND will find new and cruel ways to be bigoted while smiling in your face because their flavor of queer is celebrated by the city mayor and so LGBT-phobia (please don’t say q***r) ended with marriage equality.

LGBT community that refuses intersectional lenses will always be rife with bigotry, both directed at minorities within this space and indirectly hitting people they think belong (ie assigning masculinity to Black queer women due to racism but then also exhibiting butchphobia/antimasculism at all masculine women, man-hating directed at cis men to “punch up” being weaponized against trans folks, etc)

Cishet society is still not safe for LGBT people, but has gotten better in some areas and worse in others as visibility has increased. Which means micro-infighting potentially is a non-issue in a space that is tolerant to other (more visible) forms of queerness, AND if there is a problem there with family friendly gays and lesbians then they will absolutely take issue with polyam genderfluid aces.

“In real life” has near nothing to do with it. If your space, online or in real life, is neither radically intentionally inclusive or tolerantly indifferent it’s gonna be bigoted—intentionally or not, queer or not.

[aliciacolon69]

[autismvampyre]

i feel so fucking bad for my fellow young queers nowadays. so many are being radicalized by the right because we are so disconnected from our past and history and it fucking sucks man

i remember being 14 and just being so lost and uncomfortable in my own skin and getting wrapped up in fucking exclusionary discourse on fucking instagram of all places. i remember not liking myself and being vulnerable and feeling left out, and all these other online queers took me in and said "its fine, you're normal, but we have to fight the not-normal queers to be accepted" and i believed them because who else would i trust?

the idea that there's a wrong kind of gay or trans or queer is so antithetical to what this community is supposed to be about. we're strange, we're outcast. it's so sad to see infighting knowing that its just successful propaganda meant to divide us.

truth is, bigots don't care if you're the "right kind of queer" or not. they still hate you for existing and pandering does nothing but hurt the only community that actually cares. we have to leave behind the mindset that we can only be accepted if we change, because the people who only accept us when we're the "good kind of queer" never fucking respected us in the first place

we're here, we're queer, and we don't have to be "the right kind" to be allowed to exist