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i dont trust monogamists unless its two trans people who are CRAZY crazy yandere obsessed with each other. those are the only good ones
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Horny blog you know the deal.
18+ to view, 20+ to DM.
If we're not mutuals, I'm not gonna be horny in DMs. This kind of thing requires consent. Send asks, reblog with tags if you want to get your shit off real quick.
DNI: Sissy blogs, minors, pedos
More info below, keep reading beautiful
About Me
This is a safe space for all trans, non-binary, full stop. I don't tolerate any transphobia or non-binary erasure
25 year old, black nb transfem (she/they/it), poly, pan, burnt out programmer with an estrogen addiction, very original.
If you're in Chicagoland, I'd be interested in making friends ^_^
I'm discovering that I'm a werewolf puppygirl now sooo yeah
My bdsm test
100% Degradee
100% Switch
96% Rope bunny
95% Masochist
94% Degrader
94% Rigger
93% Primal (Hunter)
89% Monogamist
84% Dominant
83% Submissive
83% Brat
83% Sadist
83% Pet
A couple of my top kinks:
Denial
Choking
Spanking/Pinching/other mild pain
Petplay: see above
Pred/Prey: I know prey when I see it
Edging
Overstimulation
Chastity: 11 days (7/16/24 - 7/26/24)
Denial: 0 days
Limits/Hard No:
scat/piss
sissy stuff
misgendering
raceplay
Weirdos, freaks welcome, just be respectful
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Polyamory is queer.
(For context, we are queer. We are a system full of trans, altersex, m-spec, a-spec, and gay headmates. We are not allies, we are literally LGBTQIA+)
This is something that bugs us very much, and we want to talk about it, because it is something we firmly believe in. Hear us out. Don't jump straight to arguing.
The definition of queer, nowadays, is someone that falls outside of the societal norms of sex, gender, gender expression, and attraction/relationships.
This includes people that are intersex, altersex, on the transgender & non-binary spectrum, gender non-conforming/pronoun non-conforming, a-spec, m-spec, gay, or otherwise experience non-normative attractions (queerplatonic & alterous attraction, autoattraction, etc.)
When discussing the rights of those with queer attraction, sexes, and genders, multiple topics consistently come up.
-Marriage equality and legal partnerships. -The rights to be seen in public (either as yourself or with your partner.) -The rights to be loved and accepted by friends and family. -The rights to be allowed work and housing. -The rights to adopt or have children. -The rights to be welcomed into cultural spaces without judgement (such as religious spaces.) -The rights to reliable healthcare.
All of these are things we should continue to fight for. They are basic human rights. The fight for our rights is what brought us together as a community.
You know who else struggles with those same issues? Polyamorous people. Ethical non-monogamists.
Polygamy is not legalized in a majority of locations. Polyamorous people cannot legally marry more than one of their partners. (See legalized locations here. Read about legality of it in the USA here.)
Being polyamorous can lead to being shunned by a community, slut-shamed, and even lead to acts of violence being performed against someone. It is treated like a dirty little secret.
If someone comes-out as polyamorous to their family or friends, they will often lose those people. They receive nearly the same commentary used by homophobic and transphobic people - calling it "sin" to love and desire people the way they do, and that its not in Gods plan. Being told they can change and that they don't have to be this way. Telling them to get rid of their partners because its immoral. They often feel forced to stay in the closet about their polyamory. (As described here.)
Polyamorous people get shamed at their workspaces, or may even struggle to find jobs. If they discuss their relationships with co-workers, or employers see photographs of them kissing multiple partners, they are often deemed "promiscuous" and "bad rep for the company." It can also affect housing, health insurance, and other things that partners may share. Even in situations where a partner is hospitalized, often only one partner is welcomed to visit them in their hospital room, while the others either have to stay back or lie about their relationship with the hospitalized individual. (Check here and here for further detail.)
The treatment found in workspaces and housing also applies to polyamorous people who wish to adopt - they are often declined and deemed unfit for adoption if their polyamory is discovered, just as people in same-gender relationships are declined adoption. And polyamorous people who have biological children, too. It is treated as an inappropriate setting to raise kids around, as if they are performing a kink, fetish, or sexual act in front of the child. (See here for more details.)
Polyamory is treated like a purely sexual thing. You know how people in same-gender relationships are treated as though their relationships must be purely sexual, and thus, inappropriate around children? That is exactly what happens to polyamorous people, too. Yes, some same-gender relationships are based around sex, but thats not always the case. That same logic applies to polyamory.
Polyamory can be romantic, queerplatonic, alterous, sensual. It doesn't have to be sexual. It can be, but it doesn't have to be. And even if a polyamorous individual is behaving promiscuously, why does that deserve judgement? They wouldn't be doing it in front of non-consenting individuals (like children.) And even if a polyamorous person does something inappropriate, that shouldn't reflect on the community as a whole. Just like how a monogamous person can do something inappropriate, without it reflecting on monogamy as a whole.
Polyamory is treated as purely a choice, which is highly inaccurate. Some ethical non-monogamists view it as a choice, because they are ambiamorous. Most purely polyamorous people, however, do not feel like they have any control over their desires, and would find monogamy restricting and unfit for their way of life. (Read here for perspective.)
For reference, in the USA, about 5% of people are in ENM relationships. That's approximately the same amount of people that are gay and m-spec in the United States. ENM is a marginalized minority, just as all other LGBTQIA+ identities and experiences are. They should be included in queer discussions. They are queer. They have been part of the queer community from the start.
They are a marginalized orientation. Marginalized orientations belong in the queer community. And before you argue that its only sexual and romantic orientations, hear us out - those describe who you are attracted to, and in what way. Relationship orientations describe how many people you want to be with and the structure of it. The two go hand-in-hand.
Every segment of the queer community is latched at the hip, forming a line. Sex relates to the topic of gender. Gender relates to the topic of sexual & romantic orientation. Sexual & romantic orientation relates to the topic of relationship orientations.
Polyamory and same-gender relationships have a history together. This can be seen in concepts such as free love. And much like how transgender and same-gender relationships were normalized in some BIPOC cultures (and erased/overtaken by Western colonization), polyamorous relationships were also normalized in many of those same cultures as well.
As a community, we need to start including polyamory within our discussions, within our fights, within our protests. Even in the fight for "marriage equality," polyamorous relationships get completely shunned from the discussion. (See here.)
"Love is love" applies to them, too. Lets come together as a community, not tear each other apart.
And before you bring up cishet polyamorous people, please remember, cishet people can be queer too. Cishet people can be intersex. Cishet people can be altersex. Cishet people can be a-spec. Cishet people can have queerplatonic and alterous relationships. Being cishet and being queer are not mutually exclusive.
Also keep in mind, this is the exact same discussions people used to have on non-binary, a-spec, and intersex people. The idea that they were not belonging within the community, even though they were always present. Little by little, different aspects of the community have come out of the woodworks and requested a safe space amongst the rest.
#lgbt#lgbtq#lgbtqia#lgbt pride#body diversity#educate yourself#diversity#education#educate yourselves#polygamy#polyamourous#polyamory#polyamorous#polyam#polyam pride#polyam relationship#polyamarous#polygamous#equality#equal rights#queer pride#queer community#queer#lgbtq community#pride#relationship#marriage#marriage equality#adoption#adoptive family
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introduction & info
hey! you can call me d (haha) or disaster, whatever you'd like. this is a side account for me to be shamlessly horny.
i follow & like from de******d***e <3
needless to say this is an 18+ blog and minors should not interact, ageless/under 18 will be blocked :3
DNI: minors (obvs), zoos, pedos, any kind of bigot etc. all the obvious stuff.
info: 19yrs, 5'6"-5'7", chubby/fat, trans man, he/him, 9 months on t, pre-op, t4t, currently ID as a gay man (anyone is welcome to look but i prefer DMs/asks from other mlm/nblm transmascs <3)
happy to flirt and give/recieve compliments but i'm in a monogamous relationship and not open to hookups/partners/play partners/DM-ing sexually <3
if you wanna see my pics & vids that tumblr won't like, check out my reddit, twitter, or fetlife! if u want to see my nsft art check out my ao3 or insta! if u want to support me and see vids check out my fansly! send me messages on my pleasepraise.me!
more info abt me & this blog:
i'm a verse switch!
> i prefer bottoming like 99% of the time, just because i really like penetration. but dom/sub is pretty 50/50 :3
bdsm test results from 10/01/24:
100% Switch
98% Rope bunny
94% Rigger
92% Submissive
92% Degradee
91% Dominant
87% Exhibitionist
87% Degrader
79% Brat tamer
77% Brat
68% Experimentalist
64% Owner
63% Non-monogamist
59% Masochist
59% Pet
53% Voyeur
48% Sadist
44% Master/Mistress
44% Primal (Prey)
37% Slave
30% Vanilla
28% Primal (Hunter)
0% Ageplayer
0% Daddy/Mommy
0% Little
likes! (non exhaustive)-
lingerie (wearing/partner wearing)
degredation (specifically slut shaming, dom or sub)
praise (dom or sub)
bondage & shibari (rigger or bunny)
biting/marking/possesiveness (dom or sub)
exhibitionism (feel free to ask for pics! and please tell me if my blog made you horny/wet/hard or if you got off to my pics!)
puppyplay (dom/owner, maybe sub)
monsterfucking (i esp. love werewolves and minotaurs >.<)
free use (sub, maybe dom)
CNC*
somno (sub only)
hard nos (there isn't anything wrong with these kinks!! just not for me <3) -
intox (sub only)
pregnancy/breeding
detrans/misgendering
forcemasc (makes me dysphoric as a gnc guy </3)
watersports
scat
gore
ageplay
fauxcest
feeding/weightgain/etc
anal (for now)
preffered terms for genetalia:
tdick, tcock, cock, dick, cunt, pussy, boycunt, boypussy, hole(s) <3
tags: #disaskter for asks, #horny text for horny/kinky text posts, #soft text for non-kinky text posts about cuddling and whatnot, #my pics for photos & videos of me, #personal is usually for random non-horny rambles, #d's art for my artwork, and i'm gonna be tagging posts about my irl love life as #r :3
if you're just here to get off (which is epic, i love people getting off to me), you may want to block #vent
anons: 🐻, 🪦
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my ideal modern day top cat reboot (not just tc and/or the gang serving as side characters in an ensemble cast in a hanna-barbera crossover cartoon) would be like,
tc and benny are the same as they always are (selfish hedonistic get-rich-quick schemer and his naive childhood bff enabler)
dibble is a private investigator (like he's always wanted to be) who is tc's other childhood friend (boyfriend) whose investigations somehow always end up intersecting with tc's schemes even when he's not actively investigating tc. i cant decide if i want him to stay human or not tho (dog dibble au my beloved miss u baby)
trans lesbian choo choo my beloved. weird and emotional, and constantly talks about her girlfriend lola glamour (theyre so t4t)
non-committal flirty serial monogamist gold digger fancy fancy, based on a mix of his cartoon personality and comic personality. like if fujiko mine were a catboy, who will sometimes betray the gang but they barely really hold it against him. tc doesnt, anyway
oblivious math wiz brain who is probably nonbinary but he's got finances to go over so he doesnt really care about that right now.
former-hellcat butch biker lesbian spook *giggles* i cant decide whether i want spook to be a she/her lesbian or a he/him lesbian, but very top cat begins/comic based characterization
roxy from the scrapped reboot finally gets to join the gang :) she can have jellystone brain's personality since he's not using it. she also has something extremely gay going on with spook
then side characters would be like,
myra and sheldon live in the city and periodically get involved in tc shenanigans! myra is very much so a neurotic worrywart who is constantly freaking out over the ways her twin brother's schemes can backfire. sheldon didnt really have a solid characterization in his book so maybe he can have jellystone fancy's personality?
kitty glitter from top cat and the beverly hills cats can be recurring because i like her <3 to me shes so lupin-iii-sadgirl coded
lola glamour gets to appear now and then and gets to be so annoyingly sappy pda with choo choo. has a lot of mentions and cameos though cuz shes still a star and shes dating choo choo who adores her childhood best friend turned lover <3 <3 <3
dibbles ex-wife periodically shows up and tc hates her soooooo much which is ironic because theyre kind of parallels. foils. the same but different. i would emphasize them being so similar and in fact that she reminded him of tc is why he married her and she does not like that one bit. self indulgent but i really dont care <3
i think they should have two kids (fred and daniel, based on comic dibble's names) just because i think it'd be funny as fuck. am i making him even more like zenigata? sure but my justification is dibble is a little league coach and camp counselor which is stereotypically things dads do to connect with their kids :P
jazz and beau can be recurring antagonists with their own gang that being dark parallels to tc's gang. teehee.
trixie from the first movie can be a recurring character too but only if shes an irredeemable antagonist in jazz's gang. the rest of jazz's gang consists of pantera from top cat begins, rocky from the comics, and skratch gets to exist separate from spook.
i guess griswald could be recurring since he had two eps and in the comics there was a recurring antagonist who was a bulldog but i dont care enough about griswald to expand on that idea
- oh wait he can be the actual cop since dibble is a PI now. duh. he literally became a police dog in one ep so it works.
cop cat from the comics can be griswald's partner although i think he needs a better name than "cop cat" ... maybe fuse him with officer prowler so he gets a cooler name. idk
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Redid my pfp just in time for Pride Month with a flag I haven't gotten the chance to celebrate yet. It's no big secret that finding yourself is the greatest joy in the queer community. Sometimes, we do that by learning new things, and sometimes, we do it by taking things back about ourselves.
I did both this year.
I identified comfortably as a trans man for about five years, and it was only until a cold winter's evening early this year that I turned to my friend with benefits and said "I think I might be genderfluid" after a sequence of events that was most certainly not for daytime television. I adopted the label with little to no difficulties, and life continued on as normal.
Then, my partner at the time and I broke up. I was still reeling from a recent unrelated assault, and even though I was the one who ended the relationship, it didn't make things any easier. That same friend with benefits, who'd always known about my partner due to me being a practicing non-monogamist for about two years, was in my corner the whole time. I couldn't have asked for better company during those times. One thing led to another, and we admitted our love for each other, deciding shortly after that no one else would be joining in anytime soon.
I don't regret my time as a binary trans man or a non-monogamist. If anything, I cherish those years, as they left me with appreciation for ways of being and ways of loving that I may have otherwise never fully understood.
I guess there's no moral to the story other than sometimes you're going to say the right thing, then keep going and going until you find it's the wrong thing. That's the beauty of being queer. The world has spent eons being wrong about something it never even tried to comprehend, I can be wrong for a few years about something I've always been trying to comprehend.
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Old version under the cut
#semissplatters#semisshots#art#digital art#furry artist#artists on tumblr#furry art#oc art#fursona oc#fursona#sfw furry#furry#furry oc#furry original character#gay furry#pride month#lgbtq#lgbtqia#trans pride#lgbt pride#queer pride#queer#genderfluid#pride art#transgender#genderqueer#gay pride#happy pride
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introduction posts
You can call me buck and I use hy/it pronouns. I am a GNC Butch intersex Abinary Transfemmasc and a Lesboy who is Bi Sapphic-Achillean T4T. this i my Coining/flag making blog before you think of following me I do support all good faith labels and I also believe in people reclaiming slurs used against queer people Like Dyke,Fag,Tranny etc… I'm also a mixed BIPOC jew I'm in support of Palestine and I am anti-zionist.
My DNI list
Zionists
Bigots
Anti-good faith labels
TERFs (Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminists)
SWERFs (Sex-Work Exclusionary Radical Feminists)
Aphobes (Prejudiced against asexual/aromantic people)
Racists
Homophobes
Transphobes
Pro-lifers
Disrespectful or hateful individuals
Ableists
Fatphobes
Anti-BLM rhetoric
Climate change deniers
Conspiracy theorists
Anti-vaxxers
QAnon supporters
Religious extremists/fundamentalists
Stalkers/harassers
Interact List
16. Queer artists and creators 17. Mental health advocates 18. Anarchist/anti-authoritarian thinkers 19. Indigenous rights activists 20. Environmentalists/eco-feminists 21. Harm reduction educators 22. Sex educators 23. Childfree/anti-natalist supporters
24. Polyamory community
25. Kink/BDSM practitioners
26. Gender non-conforming individuals
27. Transgender trailblazers
28. Butch/masculine lesbians
29. Bearish/masc queer men
30. Drag queens/kings
31. Ethical non-monogamists
32. Relationship anarchists
33. Feminist pornographers
34. Queer gamers/geeks
35. QTBIPOC community
Thin Ice List
11. Those questioning identities in bad faith
12. Allies who keep making the same mistakes 13. Willfully ignorant individuals 14. Concern trolls and sealioners
15. New acquaintances who seem potentially problematic
16. Aggressively centrist "rationale" thinkers
17. Edgelords taking things too far
18. Corporate brands with shady practices 19. Mainstream media outlets
20. Radical feminist gender critics
21. Religious apologists
22. Diet culture and fitness influencers
23. Pick-me/"cool girl" types 24. Conservative LGBTQ+ individuals
25. Men's rights activists (MRAs)
26. All Lives Matter supporters
27. Anti-Islam sentiments
28. Zionist apologists
29. Immigration restrictionists
30. Tradwife/feminine revivalists
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introduction !
hey guys. i stopped using this account. i use @noahboah002 now.
my name is noah and im a trans male :3
sub/bottom
this will be short and sweet since im not exactly sure what to put on here
sorry for any double reblogging, im not good at keeping track of what i reblog
dms/asks are closed
yes’s/kinks!
somno, little bit of pet play, cnc, praise, spanking, bondage, overstim, edging, begging, light degradation, humiliation, a little bit of voyeurism,
no’s/dislikes!
piss, scat, detrans, inc*st, ageplay, raceplay
do not ask for pictures of my face, do not ask where i live
dni
basic dni criteria, transphobes, homophobes, zoophiles
I am allowed to block anyone who makes me feel uncomfortable
bdsm test results!
100% Rope bunny
100% Submissive
86% Exhibitionist
84% Voyeur
82% Experimentalist
74% Slave
69% Non-monogamist
65% Vanilla
61% Masochist
55% Pet
rice purity score!
49
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Hi! I'm Wave, I'm 20 (he/him only).
Pleaseeee DNI if you are under 18!!
I've been on Tumblr a long time but never had an n/sfw account so please bear with me, I'll probably be an inconsistent poster too. But basically just a place for me to collect the uhhh interesting things I think about. Asks are open :D
Very much figuring things out as I go so I may update this later! Also I use queues just FYI.
About me:
- absolute idiot (affectionate)
- I enjoy reading, writing, and hiking which takes up most of my free time
- I work a lot
- I'm an Aries (this is starting to feel like a dating bio lol)
- Transman + Queer
- I do have a fandomish sideblog, but I post a lot less nowadays
And all the N/SFW stuff about me is below the cut but elect to ignore it (no pictures just discussion of kink).
Top kinks:
- Hickeys, hickeys, hickeys
- Somno (receiving mostly)
- edging/overstim
- Punishment/rules
Limits:
- watersports (I don't mind discussing it but don't actively engage)
- anything close to foodplay
- detrans + trans fetishism
- intoxicated sex
- Hard CNC
== Results from bdsmtest.org ==
94% Brat
93% Rope bunny
83% Non-monogamist
83% Masochist
82% Submissive
72% Primal (Prey)
71% Switch
69% Rigger
66% Degradee
63% Dominant
59% Pet
57% Brat tamer
57% Voyeur
56% Degrader
52% Experimentalist
50% Primal (Hunter)
48% Slave
47% Sadist
35% Owner
35% Vanilla
29% Exhibitionist
16% Master/Mistress
0% Ageplayer
0% Daddy/Mommy
0% Boy/Girl
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tidbits abt allyson from ze old blog. under a cut now.
allyson is a capricorn, her birthday is january 6th!
as a result of breaking her knee and femur during her confrontation with michael in 2018, she had to get a knee replacement. her left knee and leg as a whole aches in the cold, and limits her physical activity, which was a struggle to deal with especially in the first 1-2 years after michael disappeared.
there was once a time when she was the star of the haddonfield high school track and field team, and aspired to run marathons. after helping kill michael and leaving haddonfield, she’s finding her passion for it again. she also very much wanted to start training for triathalons, but that aspiration is in the past. right now, she’s very into low impact exercises such as yoga, walking, and swimming.
she loves beer and IPAs, specifically in combination with hikes. she can’t hike as much as she used to because of chronic pain.
i just know karen was the type of parent who wanted allyson to be involved in different activities, and as a result allyson knows how to play the trombone.
she cut her hair into a bob shortly after halloween 2018 because she couldn't stop thinking of the way michael pulled her hair. she cuts her hair herself and has gotten better at it throughout the years. it's been important to divorce herself from michael in any possible way esp considering her and judith myers’ resemblance too... (see below)
allyson also identifies as non-binary and goes by she/they. she does have a slight preference for masc people but also has such an unhealthy attachment style that she tends to be into anyone who shows her attention, especially as a trauma response. she’s very into flirting, and has historically been a serial monogamist. but - i do definitely think her and vicky were, at the very least, not platonic; and imo, cameron elam was an egg (aka a trans woman who had not come out of the Egg just yet. lots to unpack abt that but that’s how i feel and headcanon them!).
post-ends, she’s finishing up her bachelors in the hope of becoming a psychiatric nurse, likely somewhere in chicago. she has no family left besides laurie, who she is currently no-contact with not entirely out of animosity, but to maintain a healthy boundary from her past to her future.
some canon divergences: i do see her as having a much more active role in killing michael, at the very least. she is he one who slits his wrist after freeing laurie from his grasp. she also struggles with michael having very intentionally left her alive after having so many opportunities to kill her, and struggles to trust anyone after being kidnapped by sartain, after being groomed by doug, and after the truth of corey came out. vulnerability is super difficult for her, especially around men who are not frank hawkins.
#abt: allyson.#im love her. probably TOO much. my emotional support hated female character (one of them at least)
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some things about my allyson that i WILL put in a proper about page once i’m not on my shitty 2009 work desktop computer:
allyson is a capricorn, her birthday is january 6th!
as a result of breaking her knee and femur during her confrontation with michael in 2018, she had to get a knee replacement. her left knee and leg as a whole aches in the cold, and limits her physical activity, which was a struggle to deal with especially in the first 1-2 years after michael disappeared.
there was once a time when she was the star of the haddonfield high school track and field team, and aspired to run marathons. after helping kill michael and leaving haddonfield, she’s finding her passion for it again. she also very much wanted to start training for triathalons, but that aspiration is in the past. right now, she’s very into yoga, walking, and swimming.
she loves beer and IPAs, specifically in combination with hikes. she can’t hike as much as she used to.
i just know karen was the type of parent who wanted allyson to be involved in different activities, and as a result allyson knows how to play the trombone.
allyson is 5′9.5″. very important to add. she cut her hair after michael grabbed it in 2018 and still cuts her hair herself, but she’s gotten better throughout the years. considering her and judith myers’ resemblance - i’ll embed the comparative pic once i find it - she typically dyes her hair darker. at one point she had pink ends post-2018.
allyson also identifies as non-binary and goes by she/they. she does have a slight preference for masc people but also has such an unhealthy attachment style that she tends to be into anyone who shows her attention, especially as a trauma response. she’s very into flirting, and has historically been a serial monogamist. but - i do definitely think her and vicky were, at the very least, not platonic; and imo, cameron elam was an egg (aka a trans woman who has not come out of the Egg just yet. lots to unpack abt that but that’s how i feel and headcanon them!). allyson is pretty fem(me) but in a queer way imo.
post-ends, she’s finishing up her bachelors in the hope of becoming a psychiatric nurse, likely somewhere in chicago. she has no family left besides laurie, who she keeps an emotional and physical distance from for a long time post-ends despite reconciling.
some canon divergences: i do see her as having a much more active role in killing michael, at the very least. she is he one who slits his wrist after freeing laurie from his grasp. she also struggles with michael having very intentionally left her alive after having so many opportunities to kill her, and struggles to trust anyone after being kidnapped by sartain, after being groomed by doug, and after the truth of corey came out. vulnerability is super difficult for her, especially around men who are not frank hawkins.
oh, and also - allyson adopts a rottweiler whose name is rosie, who probably also distrusts men.
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Brain Curd #187
Brain Curds are lightly edited flash fiction - practically first drafts - posted daily (haven't missed one yet!) and sometimes written with the express intention of being terrible… but, you know, in an endearing way. Please like and reblog if you enjoy - the notes keep me going!
“So get this,” Lily said to Sarah, leaning back on her booth seat.
“What?”
“I’ve got this friend, right? Let’s call her… Salsa.”
“An odd name.”
“Well, it’s an alias. Anyway, she’s a serial monogamist - probably dated more guys than I’ve dated girls - but she refuses to have sex with any of them!”
“Salsa?”
“You wouldn’t have met. Now, the kicker is, her rotating cast of exes is starting to have something in common with each other - you know, other than dating her.”
Sarah rolled her eyes and started looking through the menu.
“And it’s very funny, because she is adamant, and I mean adamant, that she’s entirely, one-hundred-percent heterosexual, but her exes keep coming out as trans women! And dating each other! Isn’t that funny? Especially since she never told a single one of them that she was also trans!”
“Are you done, Lily, or should I order my lunch to go?”
“Now I’m going to tell you something that may shock you, Sarah. You’ll want to be sitting down for this.”
Sarah sarcastically patted the seat around her to check its build quality. “Yup, that’s a bench alright.”
Lily took Sarah’s hands and maintained uncomfortable eye contact. “Sarah…” She said in a serious yet comforting voice. “You’re gay. I was talking about you the whole time. I just thought you should know.”
Sarah pulled her hands out of Lily’s. “You don’t know what the heck you’re talking about!”
“Oh, don’t I?”
“No, you don’t. I’ve got a date lined up with a new guy tonight. I think he might be the one.”
“You know who else is ‘the one’? Neo. From The Matrix. Which is famously a lesbian trans allegory.”
“Oh, shut up.”
“But in all seriousness, I really doubt this guy is ‘the one’ if you don’t even know his name.”
“Know his name? Of course I know his name.”
“What is it?”
“Uh… well, look, I remember his middle name, okay? It’s Jacob.”
Lily smugly drank her mocha. “You don’t even know his first name.”
“He just goes by Jacob, okay? I only heard his first name once at the beginning of class before we met.”
“Tell me about him.”
“What’s there to tell? He’s a guy.”
“Exactly. People who are attracted to men, believe it or not, find them interesting as individuals, not as archetypes.”
“Why would you know, if you’re a lesbian?”
Lily shrugged. “This is what my research has told me.”
Sarah shook her head and got up from her seat. “Whatever, Sigma Freud. Why don’t you pick apart my subconscious on your own. I’m going to pick up a sandwich from Starbucks on the way to class instead.” She picked up her purse and strolled toward the exit.
Lily raised her cup. “When you see Jacob, tell her I said hi!”
Passable. is finally out of the closet! Episode One: The Virgin is out now on NotSoCheezy.com as the first Writer's Block - a collection of Brain Curds with the whey squeezed out. And with the pilot complete, we're ready to move on to Episode Two - and a teleplay format (it's a sitcom, after all). Stay tuned!
#NSC Original#brain curd#brain curds#writing#creative writing#writeblr#flash fiction#author#writer things#writers#writers on tumblr#writers of tumblr#writerscommunity#women writers#female writers#queer writers#daily writing#Brain Curd 187#Passable.#Passable. Promo 6#Lily#Sarah#sitcom#gay#lgbt#lgbtq#lgbtqia#queer#trans sitcom#pilot episode
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Check it out
== Results from bdsmtest.org ==
99% Submissive
94% Exhibitionist
92% Slave
91% Rope bunny
90% Experimentalist
85% Degradee
79% Non-monogamist
76% Voyeur
75% Masochist
67% Pet
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Futurelit Vol 5: Grace Byron
This time around, I had the absolute pleasure of chatting with Grace Byron, the Brooklyn-based columnist, writer and filmmaker and all-around brilliant, benevolent creative spirit whose recent book release party for NB Carrie Bradshaw (read it here via Epigraph Mag!) at Babycastles solidified my love for her and her work.
This interview was the first time I had the opportunity to conduct a classic interview over the phone instead of over text chat, or as I like to call it for reasons I’d gladly explain to you over a glass of wine, “The Tony Hawk Method.”
This resulted in a truly gorgeous conversation that flows synaptically and always takes surprising directions (Twin Peaks, the afterlife, and a tender moment involving Coldplay that occurs towards the end---when you see it then you’ll understand!). It also brought me right back to the days at my editorial internship where I would transcribe hours of interviews, but in a good way this time. I took great pains to not only get the content and diction right, but to convey the undertones of our exchange that made it so vibrant. Which, interestingly enough, makes it take on the visual form of a text chat.
Check out our conversation at the jump, with gorgeous illustrations by Becky Ebben:
You do a column called “Trans Monogamist” for the Bushwick Daily (I binged that…it’s really dope) and your latest project is NB Carrie Bradshaw (which is out now!). So I’m curious, what sort of came first: your interest in the format of an advice columnist/relationship columnist, or your love of Carrie Bradshaw?
Actually--I didn’t start watching Sex and the City until January 2017, which everyone is sort of super surprised by, and honestly? Me fucking too. Not that it’s a perfect show, but the aesthetic signals that it’s something that I should have seen a long time ago. It took me a long time to get to it. I had heard a lot of the negative stuff, which there is a lot of, and rightfully so. There’s this one terrible bisexual episode where Carrie’s just like, “I just don’t know….he’s bi .” And I’m just like… “Girl, so what.” The point is, the column writing came sort of naturally. I had a column a few years ago at my paper called Queer Art Vibes before I had even seen Sex and the City. And I was mostly writing about art, and capitalism, artists, and things I was finding interesting aesthetically. The last column that I wrote was after I had a break-up, and it was called “How To Date an Anarchist.”
Oh my God
And it got like, no comments. Because most of the columns that I was writing were about trans identity and stuff. I got all these comments like, “Why can’t people just make up their minds about gender?” And I’m just like, that’s completely irrelevant to what I’m talking about. So this column got no comments at all. There’s this huge anarchist population at Indiana University. It just closed down this month, but we had this huge anarchist bookstore that was this huge draw for the punk scene.
It was a column that didn’t make sense for where I was writing. But then as I was watching Sex and the City, and as I was doing a lot more dating my last year in college, I was thinking “yeah, this is really important to talk about.” And I started thinking of dating as a political and aesthetic and emotional practice. It’s more using this pop culture phenomenon to let people understand something about what it’s like to be trans and dating. It’s not like it’s me and my three friends that are all going through the same things. Or it’s not like me and my straight girlfriends talking about how our experiences are different. Or me and someone who is nonbinary even talking about how it’s different for both of us. But I do like that element of friendship in it, that element of comradery. But I think it’s interesting now that shows act like there’s this group of 4 friends and they’re all the same. And that was never my experience? You know, there’s always a nonbinary person, a lesbian person, and...maybe a straight man.
LOL the token straight
Right. At least that’s my college experience, where I’ve never had a group of friends that were all the same. There were always at least one other gay or queer person. It’s a helpful lens to think about dating, and think about dating how much it’s changed since the early 2000s. A column is a dispatch from the front lines, like “this is what happened this month! How’s it going with you?” The book [NB Carrie Bradshaw] has a little bit of a more narrative arc to it. But in the columns, there’s no resolution. -----keep reading below------
Right, and that’s what I like about it. There’s endless thinkpieces about dating apps, queer dating, etc, and it’s so frustratingly depersonalized. It’s very strange how the discourse tries to force dystopia instead of actually having a comprehensive view of how people feel. There’s a lot more truth in the way that you present dating than how someone tries to dissect it in a thinkpiece.
Yeah, thinkpieces are weird. I love to read them, but I also don’t know how helpful they are a lot of the time. Especially when they try to draw a definitive statement. In some things, sure, that makes sense.
Like in a college thesis, where you’re forced to come to a resolution for your life, pretty much.
What was your experience working at a college newspaper?
Basically, I came to college, and I was on the media floor--and basically what I thought that meant was cross-genre. But in reality, what it meant was journalism. And then I thought, you know, okay, it’s fine. I thought it was interesting. And so I almost went to join the newspaper as a writer and interviewer, I did a few articles. But a rule was that if you were a writer for them, you couldn’t be interviewed. And that was my biggest problem with it--I knew I wanted to do art. I knew that I wanted to get press. I didn’t want to prevent that from happening.
Right after I came out my freshman year, this guy on my floor was like, “do you want to talk about being gay at IU?” And I was like uh….sure! It was weird because it was my first time being interviewed for something real, and I was talking about being gay. But I was also trying to sneak a pitch for my website while doing it, I was like...go watch it! They promptly cut that out of the interview, though.
Good effort, tho.
I didn’t love that environment. I wasn’t taken with it. I started volunteering at a local radio station where I did stories about lots of things. That was much more interesting and fulfilling than the college newspaper. And my friend was like, “do you want to be columnist--we need one.” Not because I was special or anything, because they really needed one. And I was like, “sure.” So I started writing these extremely leftist columns, like “capitalism is the devil, and here’s why : )”
And I wrote one that was like, “nudity in art isn’t porn,” which isn’t even an extreme opinion. But I started getting all of these comments like, “Counterpoint: nudity in art isn’t not porn.” I was just like wow, I can tell that you really read this column….
People just read titles a lot of times.
Yeah for sure. Our campus was filled with a lot of views of all extremes, and not just anarchists. We also had a militant white supremacist population on campus. There were a bunch of protests from that group over the course of years--it wasn’t just one year, or just this year, which was definitely the worse than the years before. I also got tons of hateful comments from white supremacist groups on my articles. So I was just one of the people on the receiving end of those comments.
But as far as my involvement in the newspaper group itself, I think I only attended one meeting. I didn’t really feel a sense of community at IU that a lot of people there felt. I think a lot of people looked down on what I did because it was so personal. It wasn’t like I was talking about music, or like I was talking about hard-hitting stories. So I wasn’t really a part of the “IU JOURNALISM COMMUNITY.” But it wasn’t like I really wanted to be. I would still sometimes get people who appreciated my work, that came up to me and said “I love this, I love what you’re doing,” but they were usually queer people.
Which is definitely the desired reaction, which is awesome. Talking about your webseries “Idle Cosmopolitan” -- what was your favorite audience, or your favorite venue that you showed it to? And what was that sort of reaction and vibe like?
I wasn’t at all of the screenings. It showed at Bloomington at Planet Nine--which is this small VHS rental/DVD rental video place that kind of reminds me of Ghost World or something. I wasn’t there, but a lot of my friends were there, since it was my home for so many years. I assume it went well. From the pictures, I saw that it went well, at least.
It showed at Sarah Lawrence, which I know very little about how that went. I wanted to be there, but I was scheduled at work. Which is a whole thing about how I’m not a full-time artist. I say that I’m a freelance artist, which means that I make MAYBE 50 bucks a month off of my art. If it’s a good month! So I can’t always go to everything that’s happening. It’s an interesting part about being an artist in this landscape. People expect you to be global, and there’s only so global you can be if you’re working class. Which I think is important to be transparent about. It’s not always fun to be transparent about that, but it’s important.
Exactly, you want to be honest about it, but you want to portray yourself as larger-than-life-to get attention, and at least the semblance of clout (whatever that fcking means). But being an artist, you’re a part of a community, and you want to treat that community well. You don’t want to stunt and act like you’re making a living off of your art when you’re not.
It’s not cool to lie one way or the other. It’s not cool to portray yourself as a poor person if you’re not, and I’m not super poor or anything, but I’m not living off of my artwork, and I make a decent living off of my work as a childcare worker. But yeah, you shouldn’t lie because you’re fooling yourself and making art seem elitist.
There’s the lie by omission, in a way. A lot of people are internet famous, or have a certain persona that makes people say “Oh, I want to be like this person, who so clearly lives off of their artwork.” When in reality, it’s probably a side hustle at best.
Or they live with their parents. Or they have rich parents.
It distorts people’s dreams and plans--it’s important to be responsible about that.
Totally. One show I was at physically was at Secret Project Robot, at this festival of poets, and my videos were showing between poets that were reading their work. So that was interesting---I was the only video artist at the show. And as many things as I have tried--I have written poems, but I’ve never called myself a “poet.” So I thought that was kind of cool to have that multimedia experience, to see my videos projected really large in front of a big crowd of 20 or 30 people. Which doesn’t seem like a lot, but it’s actually a lot. I remember thinking wow, the crowds are gonna be so big in New York. And they are! But 20 or 30 people is a lot for DIY art. Even if you’re successful, or internet famous--it’s hard to gather a crowd wherever you are.
And it was really cool because people who were actually in the video got to see it, which was cool! Chariot is in it, and he was there, so that’s cool.
There was one livestream and q&a in the UK, which was really cool. And that was my favorite, because the moderator was super smart and always asked good question about the fantasy genre, and its intersections with queerness. It was refreshing instead of questions like-- “Why are you gay? Why is this here?” It was a good convo to have beyond the surface level.
It’s awesome that I saw so many showings of your series was in Indianapolis, in Indiana. You may not see a big crowd--DIY art isn’t an Ariana Grande concert--but What you do see is how it sort of transforms the room, and creates a living space, a community. 20 people is a community. Especially in Indiana.
Right, there’s very established artists and documentarians where the only place they have more than 20 people show up is in their hometowns. Even world-renowned documentarians may struggle to get an audience. Which is awful. But I think that one thing that is happening in the real world is that there are plenty of people I look up to, who are famous, whose twitter gets pretty very few likes! And they may have a huge amount of followers! And I’m like--why am I getting more likes than world-renowned feminist scholars? I think that’s happening in real life too. These people are having talks and showings of their work and sometimes DIY work is a different experience and maybe draws more people than these professional pieces, and there’s a community of people who can see themselves in that as artists.
I agree, it definitely changes the dynamic for people are used to when it comes to art, you think there’s the artist and this huge invisible wall and then there’s the observer, and it breaks down that dynamic.
Right, it changes the power dynamic. The artist isn’t a preacher. What we’ve seen in DIY venues is, everybody is sitting in chairs. The artist is in the front, but everyone is on the same level. There isn’t a stage to walk down from.
I think people are only starting to observe this change, and aren’t sure what to call it yet. Some people see changes like this as the death of something, like the death of some kind of empire of how art works. But especially with this project, I think I’ve not only been an optimist, but a realist in the sense that it’s for the better. So many people are screaming “death to media! Death to print!” and I’m just over here like, “You’re a Baby Boomer, please don’t talk to me.”
Ha! Right. These media aren’t dead, but they’re definitely dying. But I think they’re going to be dying for a while to come. People broadcasting the death of all of these things---like, they’re not dead yet. The Met is gonna be in trouble, but the Met is gonna be around for the next 100 years. The Met’s not just gonna crumble.
Going back to “Idle Cosmopolitan”--I love how it’s a series of very short films. And by short, I mean like, slightly longer than a Vine length. And some people may come across that and immediately compare the series to Vine culture, but my immediate thought was comparing it to poetry, with a lot of tightly-wound content being fit into a small space. So I was wondering how poetry influences your visual work, or how visual work influences your poetry, etc.
That’s interesting. I actually originally applied to go to college for poetry. I never called myself a poet, but I did think about it for a while. When I do write poetry, it’s usually about nature, and viewing nature through the lens of divinity and power dynamics. Which I think is definitely a big part of my video work. The “Queer World” in my piece is a forest. Somebody was talking to me recently, and said that “I think it’s interesting that the queer world is a forest. Do you think of urban spaces as, like, not-as-queer spaces?” I hadn’t really thought about that. But whenever I think of that sort of the afterlife, I don’t think of cities. And what’s our other option, really? Nature. An ocean would be a terrifying destination for the afterlife. I think that poetry is super important, I think when I’m writing anything, I tend towards a lyrical, poetic style. I love hard facts, but I was never super into Hemingway. I always loved the Great Gatsby. Not that I like showy, hyper-stylized stuff; I hated the Great Gatsby movie. But the suggestion of artifice, the suggestion of things like that, I think is really interesting.
There’s ton of talk about heaven and nature and sin in “Idle Cosmopolitan.” I’m sure it comes from a long line of being raised in Christianity, and having read all of the Christian classics. And as a kid, I was obsessed with the apocalypse. Once, I was between 6-9 I remember looking at clocks in restaurants and thinking, “Could this be the hour of the end?” I remember being super into Revelations, and the ghost stories that my friends and I would tell each other, and often confusing them as the same thing.
I think that’s a form of poetry true, a strange, mental form of poetry. I think the afterlife is poetic, because there’s no concrete that you can provide.
I think in terms of modality, I think I’m always writing in the form of the poetic, even if I’m not writing a poem. Even my column--it’s not a how-to column, it’s not a safari.
It’s not MTV Cribs!
Right! Definitely more reflections.
I always thought of videos sort of in musician terms, like “this is my new album---Idle Cosmopolitan.” This is the tracklist, and each has a poetic name, etc. And each year, there’s a self-image overhaul….well, there’s no image overhaul for me this year, but especially in college I was into that idea, where I wanted to amp myself up every year.
But this iteration, for me, was trying to marry these poetic ideals with my own lived experiences, to make it sort of autobiographical, but still have a flourish. I mean, I was watching Twin Peaks when I was working on it.
Yeah, I can definitely see that influence in there. Where there’s that magic-realism, but it’s so mundane. The suspension of disbelief is so well-dissolved into it.
Right as I was starting to write this, I just finished the season of Veronica Mars---I’m not sure if it directly influenced it…
But it was there
Yeah, and watching Twin Peaks: the Return. What I thought was interesting about it was its formal elements. There was this sort of suspension of disbelief present for both the characters and the audience. So then you’re just like, “Yeah, queer spirits! That makes sense!” So, it’s that magic realism that is super appealing. And also the fact that it’s episodic. One of the things about David Lynch that I’m really into is the episodic nature of his work. There’s this loose play with time and narrative, and it’s an experience.
I think what Lynch talks a lot about, especially in later seasons, is agency. But in Sex and the City, for example--Carrie isn’t a bad person, but she’s not necessarily a good person either. She has affairs, runs around doing whatever she wants, she tries to take a break from dating and has a guilt complex where she feels bad about her actions, and also places guilt on other people--it’s complex, which I think is interesting.
Like chaotic neutral, but a little more complex than that?
Yeah, definitely. I’m obsessed with people who are chaotic neutral. I don’t think I’m chaotic neutral, but I’m fascinated by that those people exists.
I’m a super-intense Virgo, Type A, Blair Waldorf type. I definitely pride myself on hard work--which could be problematic--but I have that crawl-my-way-to-the-top sort of vibe.
This character in the webseries, they’re sort of neutral. They’re a relationship writer, but it doesn’t seem like a main part of their personhood. The only thing that they seem mad about is when their boyfriend breaks up with them, which is fair. But they don’t seem to be making many choices, and there’s something very sidekick about that.
I was in this space in my life where I was having to make all these intense decisions--deciding to move to New York, having to make all of these choices about who I wanted to be as a person. The character is the exact opposite, where there’s no movement. There’s a movement in narrative, a movement in place, but it kind of happens to them.
They get a letter, a pep talk from Fate--and they’re just like, “Sure, whatever, I don’t care.” Then they enter the queer world, and they’re like “Alright.” And then the Blue Spirit is the one who was like, “No, this wasn’t actually a good choice.” And they’re like, “Okay, sure.” They never really doubt people’s motives.
There’s a sort of guilt about making choices that Type A people have. Inevitably, if you’re a type A perosn, you’re going to hurt people. Even if you’re not actually hurting them, you’re going to make choices, and choices affect people. There’s winners and losers. So what does it mean for the sort of stoner archetype, this chaotic neutral archetype, when they don’t make choices?
I’ve never been a chill person, so I gravitate towards writing characters that are like that. Because I’m always wondering….what does that feel like?
Right! I feel like it takes a lot of effort to be chill, which isn’t chill. It’s kind of a self-consuming concept. I’m not gonna say it’s the only real binary, but…
Haha, right! Ok back to influences. Actually, as far as the soundtrack goes, I’ve gotten a lot of feedback where people say it reminds them of Sex and the City, and that it’s derivative. Actually, one person said that the soundtrack reminds them of Rugrats….
Stop!!!
Right!? Well, it’s jazz, but it’s sort of this chaotic jazz.
It’s a typical theme song in a lot of ways, but it’s disarming. Which I like.
Some people said it makes them anxious.
It offsets the perceived chill in the series, which signals you to look harder.
Watching it back, I was like...something is wrong. Narratively, there’s something up. But I’m not sure if that thing ever gets hashed out or resolved, it just sort of hangs like a dark cloud.
Which is what’s so great about poetry. There’s always that lack of resolution. People always get angry at that, where they want to feel satisfied...where’s the sequel at??
Do they get the girl or not??
Yeah! It’s how we’re taught to view life. But especially with creative people, it’s paradoxical--they only thing that makes them (us) feel satisfied is poetry, that sort of form that leaves things unresolved.
Totally.
How has the internet shaped your writing?
The internet is definitely fucked up. It was created by the military, and is now owned by billionaires. That’s already strike one. But let’s assume that the internet is also provides a space that provides more access for more people. But it doesn’t provide equal access for everybody. It provides equal access for a relatively small amount of people. You have to afford a computer, internet access--and even if you go to the library, you have to afford to be there.
But let’s say it does level the playing field in that way---even still, people don’t have more of a chance of getting their art noticed because of it. It does mean more people can put their stuff out there, but it doesn’t guarantee more viewers, or more fans, or some utopia.
The internet has become this neoliberal promise of equality. This reveals itself in every aspect---who dominates media, who dominates internet celebrity, etc. This doesn’t discount the fact that there’s fantastic DIY spaces based on the internet, but there’s a lot being overlooked.
The internet as a structure is racist, sexist, homophobic, and transphobic. Even if we go back to technology like photography, for example, it was a technology developed to best depict white faces. It’s so great that the internet creates a platform for people, but that includes creating platforms for neo-nazis on 4chan, for alt-righters to doxx people. The web is pretty fucked up, and it amplifies our greatest strengths, like community. Especially the trans community, which is so important. But it also amplifies our problems, and reveals where we need to grow.
I don’t think the internet is the devil, but I think it makes it harder for people to feel like human beings. It mirrors capitalism, and degrades human beings in so many ways where we’re expected to become a brand, which is always tied to capitalism. We’re forced to reduce ourselves to something bite-sized, which is troubling me as a person and as an artist.
When did u start writing and being creative?
I was always drawing. I was super into Pokemon and all the Nintendo games. I was into anything cute and well-designed, like Zelda, and anything involving world-building. I was super into maps, and at a young age, I thought, “I wanted to do that.”
At a young age, I wanted to be a pop star. And I made the boys in the neighborhood be my band. Now I’m thinking that was sort of a strong signal of me being gay, haha. Boys---you’re gonna be in this band, and I’m gonna sing Breakout by Miley Cyrus.
I started getting really into bands. I was really into Coldplay, and I wanted to be Chris Martin.
STOP, ME TOO
I really liked “Clocks.”
ME TOO, when I first heard that, I was like, Now….that’s what I call music.
I also really liked “Lovesong” by Sara Bareilles, which is entirely different, but I was also like...that’s what I call music. Also Paramore and Deathcab, and I was like…..this is also Music. I still love all this stuff
I still listen to all this stuff pretty much on the regular, even though I laugh about it Yeah! And at the time, all of these things were coded as feminine. Even Coldplay, which was, not a boyband, but kind of more healing.
Right, like ~emotional boys~, ~soft boys~, this sort of soft masculinity before it was talked about and memed.
I went from wanting to be a popstar, to wanting to be in bands, to wanting to do comics, and then I was like...I want to be painter! I did a lot of paintings, and then I wanted to be an actor. I was fixated on stardom, on theater. I was in all the plays of my freshman year.
Then I moved schools, and this guy who didn’t even like me and stopped talking to me, but I liked him---I wrote this psycho-opera about him. It was all songs about him, and it was super awkward. I recorded an album about him. He started being nice to me, and then I was just like…...here’s an album…
I was like, that was fun, but then I started to getting into Wes Anderson. And Woody Allen, but #WORST. And then Godard, which was better. Then I started making movies. And I saw 30 Rock, and it confirmed what I wanted to do.
I love how you go from Godard to 30 Rock
I know!! I was very all over the map. Then I started watching more experimental films and wild stuff, so it’s been a journey to where I’m at now.
The wrapping up portion, something I ask at the end of every interview...this is actually the first interview I’ve done that’s over the phone, an actual physical conversation. And the form of how I’ve conducted each interview has really affected it.
How would you describe the future of literature in a tweet-length? Or a sort of verbal tweet length, also tweets are longer now so….yeah….
Smaller.
#nb carrie bradshaw#lit#futurelit#publishing#books#writing#spilled ink#becky ebben#idle cosmopolitan#trans monogamist#queer#grace byron
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Polyamory PSA
One Penis Policy is UNETHICAL. Period.
If you're comfortable with your wife/girlfriend dating another woman but uncomfortable with her dating another man - dig deep within yourself and ask yourself why!
If you feel your "primary relationship" will be threatened by another man (or another penis because trans and nonbinary people exist!) but you're not threatened by woman (or trans/NB people with vaginas) it means you see women as less than. It means you see WLW relationships as less than or not valid. It's rooted is sexism, misogyny, and bi/homophobia.
Work. On. Yourself.
Dictating WHO your partner can date when practicing Polyamory is a sign of insecurity. If you're feeling insecure in your relationship, address that issue with your partner and within yourself. It's a sign that you do not trust your partner's autonomy or judgement in picking partners, and ultimately do not trust the foundation of your relationship with them.
Much of ENM/Polyamory is discovering and unlearning all the dumb beliefs we've somehow obtained over the years that simply will not serve you or your relationships.
It's ok if you have more work to do. It's not ok to use that as an excuse to behave unethically.
On Another Note:
If you claim to be Ethically Non-Monogamist or practice BDSM and you're not Pro-Choice, then you obviously lack understanding about Bodily Autonomy and Consent - 2 very important core factors in practicing these lifestyles.
Until you understand these 2 key points --- Bodily Autonomy and Consent You should not be part of these communities.
Period.
#ethical non monogamy#polyamorous#abortion is a right#polyam dating#polyam life#polyamory#poly relationship#one penis policy is unethical#abortion is a bodily autonomy issue#consent#pro choice#bd/sm lifestyle
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DNIs be like...
😤 Don't interact with ME if you're a...
Narcissist
Anglophile
SMURF
Hydrophobe
Gigot
Aphid
Pro-Fanity
No-Mage
Monogamist
Tradwife Exclusionary Radiator
Anti-Septic Cream
Insect Supporter
Trumpeter
Fugitive
Gatecrasher
Pondscum
Bull-tamer
Or if you like IRREDEEMABLE MEDIA! 😱 Such as...
Beauty And The Beast (Promotes bestiality - GASP!)
Pirates Of The Caribbean (Promotes piracy! Also, the ride it's based on is PROBLEMATIC!)
Star Wars original trilogy (The villain is black! And all the heroes are white! Well, except for Lando. Ignore him.)
Lord Of The Rings (The orcs are clearly meant to represent black people...after all, they're complete savages!)
Transformers (Appropriation of the "trans" suffix, therefore transphobic.)
Gremlins (Promotes "anti-MOGWAI" sentiments.)
Anything with J.K. Simmons (His initials sound too much like J.K. Rowling.)
OK, OK, I'll be serious now... 😂
I could give a detailed spiel of why I find DNI lists to be stupid and ineffective, but I think these two posts sum it up best...
Besides being inefficient, another reason I dislike DNIs is because they often include...really stupid and specific things, promoting fandom purity culture. Also, in this day and age the meanings of words ending in "ist" and "phobe" have been significantly watered down. So, who actually meets the criteria on your CARRD? What if you mistakenly labelled somebody an istaphobe purely for liking a piece of media that contains some questionable elements? Isn't that a form of bullying? I thought you didn't like "bullies or meanies"... 🤔
In short, it's better to accept that there is no foolproof way of creating a "magical barrier" online against sex offenders, unpleasant people and those you disagree with. It's better to learn to be street-smart online rather than childishly expect a DNI to keep you safe.
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