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gejo333 · 1 year

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Midnight Cravings

Miguel O’Hara x Pregnant Reader

Summary: Your craving for sweets is crazy during your pregnancy. But Miguel being the caring father and husband he is only allows you to eat healthy.

Needed one more day for Chapter Two of “El Destino.” To apologize here is a sweet and funny one-shot.

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You leaned on the kitchen counter happily enjoying the day as you pop another piece of chocolate candy into your mouth. Being only in your first semester, you were slightly surprised by how big your bump has gotten. A chuckle escaped your throat by the thought of being surprised when your husband was a giant himself. At least compared to you.

Before you could pop another sweet candy in your mouth, the bag was snatched away from you.

“Heyy! Give that back!” Your lips quiver, tears threaten to come out as you stare up at your husband.

“No cariño. These chocolates aren’t healthy for you and the baby. If you’re hungry I made you some healthy snacks to munch on.” With his other hand he opened the fridge and grabbed a container putting it in front of you.

“But Miggy.” You whined as you kept up the sad act. Miguel dumped the candy into the trash. He walked to you and pulled you into a loving embrace. He took your chin and lifted it towards him as he leaned down to give you a sweet kiss.

“I hate seeing you this way. But it’s best to eat healthy so you and our baby get all the right nutrients.”

“I know. But the craving for sweets can be so strong sometimes and I can’t help myself. It annoys me that you won’t let me indulge. But I know your looking out for me and the baby and I love you for that. I’ll try to be better.” You go on your toes to give him another kiss, which he gladly accepts.

“Thank you for understanding, mi amor. I have to go to HQ for a bit. But please call me on the watch if you need anything. I’ll be right over. See you in a bit.” He kissed you again before fiddling with his watch to open a portal. He turns around to look at you one more time before going into the portal.

…

During the rest of the day, now hitting nighttime you busied yourself with some tv, laundry, and yoga. You tried to eat some of the snacks, but every time you took a bite of fruit or vegetable your tastebuds begged something sweet to grace your tongue.

Sadly the only candy you had was taken from you by your husband. You grumbled to yourself about your husband. You loved him to the moon and back, but it wasn’t fair that he wouldn’t let you indulge your cravings.

It was starting to get late as a yawn escaped from you. Miguel wouldn’t be back for a few more hours. Since the beginning of your pregnancy, Miguel doesn’t go into work until noon to either get chores done or spend a late morning with you.

You got ready for bed and got yourself comfortable in between the covers. As soon as your head hits the pillow your mind drifts off into dreamland.

…

You woke up to a semi-silent room. Only the soft snores of your husband filling the room. You turn to see the clock on the side of your bed. It was half past 1. Turning to the other side, you smile at the peaceful state your husband was in. Your heart filled with joy when he was able to get a good nights rest.

A small groan left your lips as the sudden craving for something sweet rushed over you. You gently moved your husband’s arm from around you and replaced it with a pillow, hoping he wouldn’t wake up and notice your absence.

After a careful scare of him slightly moving, worried he woke up you tip toed out of the bedroom and into the kitchen. You went towards the freezer as you remembered there was a tub of mint chip ice cream.

You grabbed a spoon and take a huge scoop, quickly putting it into your mouth. The contrast of the cold treat in your warm mouth was comforting. A moan escaped from your lips from how delicious this ice cream was. So distracted by munching on your treat you didn’t notice the figure standing behind you.

Your body jumped slightly when you felt arms wrap around your waist. You internally groan as your husband had woken up. God damn him for being a light sleeper.

“Amor, what are you doing in the kitchen so late?”

“Eating ice cream.” Your worlds muffled by the spoon in your mouth. You felt his head rest on your shoulder as he left a few kisses on your neck. You felt him sigh.

“Your not going to stop are you?”

“Nope!” Another muffled reply from you. You stopped stuffing your face and slightly turn your head to look at him. You place your hand on his cheek.

“But I promise to still eat healthy and minimize my cravings.” You smiled.

“Thank you.” Miguel kissed you on the lips. “Mint chip. My favorite.” He hummed in between kisses, which made you chuckle.

“Mine too.” You added placing one last kiss on his lips.

“Cariño, who is giving you these sweets?” He asked. You internally groan as you wouldn’t be able to lie to him.

“Gwen, Hobie, and Pavitr.” You say quietly hoping he doesn’t hear, but the ‘I’m going to murder those three,’ smile appears on his face. You chuckle at his reaction to your response. You just hoped those kids would see the next day after Miguel was done with them.

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Hope you enjoyed! 💕

#miguel o'hara #spider man 2099 #spider man: across the spider verse #miguel x reader #oneshot #oneshot requests #gwen stacy #hobie brown #pavitr prabhakar #pregnant reader #miguel o’hara fanfiction #miguel o’hara x y/n #atsv miguel #miguel o’hara x you #cute #silly

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a1307s · 10 months

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Ice Pop

(Jason Todd Smut)

[Art is not mine! Credit to Crow Kid]

Requested by: dogma0325

Keys:

Y/N: Your Name

Word Count: 4262

Warnings and/or Pre-notes:

Cursing

Semi-public sex

Oral (female receiving)

Fingering

Degrading

Begging

Creampie

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"Lady Wayne?" Alfred calls, pulling my attention away from the case file I've been looking over for Bruce.

"Hm?" I hum out, glancing at Alfred across the kitchen before turning back to my work.

"I made ice pops for the boys and you. Would you mind giving them out for me so I can start dinner?"

"Why'd you make ice pops?" I ask, getting up and heading towards Alfred. Sat on a tray in front of him are big ice cubs packed full of different fruits, each with a popsicle sticking out the bottom.

"You guys do not drink enough water so I'm hoping this will help."

"We drink plenty of water," I answer back, picking up the tray.

Alfred sighs, turning his attention to me. A deep frown is present on his face making his aging stand out even more on his face. "Lady Wayne, please tell me you don't actually think that."

"Of course not," I tell him, following it with a laugh. None of us are good at taking care of ourselves in any way, much less in our water intake.

I walk out of the kitchen, popsicle tray in tow as I head towards the second story of the manor. It doesn't take long to run into one of the boys. Damian is doing God knows what on the staircase. He's prancing around the steps, his katana in hand as he swishes it around. "What's up, Short Stack?" I poke at him, making sure to leave plenty of room between us.

"Practicing inclined swordsmanship," Dami answers, following it with a click of his tongue.

"That makes complete sense," I lie between my teeth. What is up with this kid? "Maybe let's not play with swords on the stairs though," I tell him, holding out one of the ice pops.

Damian takes the pop, pairing it with another tongue click. "I'm a trained assassin. I think I'll be fine practicing on the stairs."

I hum before hopping up the stairs, passing him on the way. "A trained pain in the ass too," I mumble to myself once he's out of earshot. I walk down the hallway, stopping outside Dick's room. I gently knock, which is responded to quickly with the door swinging open.

"Hello!"

"Hello Y/N," Richard answers, glancing down at the tray in my hands. "Did you make popsicles?"

"Alfred made us ice pops. He says we don't drink enough water," I explain, holding out another pop.

"Hey, Tim?" He asks, ducking his head back into his room. "Do you want a popsicle?"

"Fuck ya!" Tim answers, quickly joining us at the door frame. "Thank you, Y/N," the younger boy says, taking a treat from the tray before disappearing back into the bedroom.

"Thank you," Dick repeats, also taking an ice pop before disappearing too.

That was pretty easy. I thought it would be more of a struggle to find everyone. With the manor being so big and the cave downstairs being even bigger, sometimes it's a struggle to find people. Maybe I'll get lucky, and Jason will be in his room too. I let the thought push me toward Jay's room. Once outside, just like Dick's room, I knock. Unlike Dick's room, I don't get an answer. "Jason," I call, knocking on the door again. There is no answer, so I decide to peek inside. The room is empty, with no sign of Jason at all.

Maybe I'll get lucky, and he'll be in the bat-cave. If not, then he just won't get an icicle. I make the short walk down the hallway to Bruce's study. Once again, I knock just in case. You never know if Bruce has a business partner in there or if they're work or league-related so it's best to be prepared. After a few seconds, the study door opens, and Bruce's grizzly bear form takes up the space. "I brought you a snack!" I chirp, raising the tray some.

"Thank you for the ice-pop," Bruce says, a soft smile covering his face as he picks out which one he wants. "Jason is down in the cave if you want to give him his or I can take it down."

"No, I'll take it down. I'm soaking in my break time from the Riddler case."

Bruce chuckles some before stepping aside so I can walk through. I squeeze through the gap, making sure not to drop the last two popsicles. The older man closes the door behind me before sitting back down at his desk. I take my time walking through the room towards the clock, looking over all the bookcases pilled full of books. I mess with the clock, getting it to unlock as I look over some of the titles. I need to come snoop through here for a good read once I finish my book.

The clock pops some as it swings open, the old wood worn and stressed from constant use. I slip through, making sure to close it behind me in case Bruce gets a visitor. The cave echoes as I walk down the metal stairs, my slippers sliding a bit as I walk. You'd figure by now I'd wear shoes with more traction, so I don't slip on the constantly soaked floors. Oh well.

"Jason!" I yell, walking down the last few stairs before standing steadily on the cave floor which is also soaked. Go figure. Who'd guess that a cave in the 'rainy city' of Gotham would always be wet and cold?

"Y/N!" Jason yells back, his voice echoing some off the walls.

I turn my head in the direction of his voice. Jason is tucked under one of the bat-cycles, working away on who knows what. He's always tinkering on something; The bikes, the bat-mobile, the bat-plane, something. I make a quick - but careful - pace towards the makeshift garage where all the bikes are stored. The 'garage' is more so a fancy shed than a garage. The left of it is stocked full of motorcycles. The right on the other hand is Jason's work bench that's always packed full of tools and different parts. The front of the shed - other than the door - is a wall of glass windows. You can see the left from the computer but it's harder to see the right. It's even harder considering the bat-mobile is usually parked in front of the windows on this side, like it is today.

"I brought you an ice pop," I tell him, setting the tray on the workbench before leaning against it. The edge of the bench digs into my back a bit but it's worth getting the pressure off my feet. For once it's not overflowing with random shit.

"Did you?" Jay asks, shifting some to get out from under the bike before deciding not to. He pulls on something, causing the metal to clink against the floor. "That's not good," he mumbles to himself more so than to me.

"Probably not," I answer back, crossing my arms over my chest and smiling some.

"Ya, ya, ya," he grumbles, sliding himself out before shifting to a sitting position. His eyes glance over me before settling back towards the bike.

Ever since the failed mission last week Richard swears there's been tension between Jason and me. On my last mission, I got shot a few times which has benched me from on-field missions. It's part of the reason I've been looking over case files for Bruce. Jason swooped in and played hero, which ended in a feverish kiss. We've both ignored it; not because of me though. I keep trying to talk about it, but he just brushes it off. Since it doesn't seem like he cares much I've settled on it just being heat from the 'you almost died' moment. It's nothing more than that, a misstep that happened because emotions were high. Though Richard swears up and down that, we like each other. Maybe so, but Dick likes drama so he can be a pot-stirrer sometimes.

I watch Jason tinker a bit more, making sure not to stare at his shoulders too long. Jason is an asshole most of the time, but even assholes can look good when their mouths aren't running. Especially tall assholes with a physique that reviles Bruce's. "Are you going to eat an ice pop?" I ask, glancing towards the computer stored in the cave. I can't see much of it, but I can see the top of someone's head, probably Tim's or Bruce's.

"Are you going to harass me about it until I say yes?"

"On behalf of Alfred, yes."

Jason half sighs, and half chuckles before standing up. "Well, I can't say no to Alfred," he says, walking towards me. Jay stops in front of me, less than an inch between us as he reaches behind us to grab a popsicle off the tray. A mixed smell of leather and oil rolls off of him, filling me up with fuzzy warmth. "Is the other one for you?" He asks, pulling his arms back in front of us, both ice-pops in his hands.

"Mmhmm," I hum, glancing down at his hands. I am not petite by any means of the word, but I feel small when around Jason. Anyone would feel small around the brick of a man.

Jay hums back, popping his treat into his mouth before holding mine out to me. I should be an asshole and push him to acknowledge the kiss. The thought rolls around my head for a second as my eyes flicker from Jay's face to his hand. I bend my head down some, taking the pop into my mouth as he still holds it. I make a show of it, wrapping my hand around his wrist as I slide down some. I keep a hold of the pop, loosening his grip on it before lifting my head back up; the icicle still wrapped up in my lips.

Hood's jaw is set tight, eyes drinking me in for a couple of seconds before he turns on his heels and walks away from me. Ya, Richard is definitely wrong. I push the event out of my head, focusing on the stuff I've been reading about Riddler, figuring the new environment will help my thought process. I roll over the information, absorbing the melting ice, occasionally pulling it out of my mouth so my teeth don't get too cold. The curse of having sensitive teeth. The room is mostly quiet, though, occasionally Jay drops something, cutting through the silence and causing Tim to pipe up and ask if we're okay.

Maybe I should recommend checking out some of Riddler's old hideouts. He's on the run again after attacking one of the Joker's men. I don't see him finding a new hideout on such short notice. Maybe he's staying with Two-Face, they're pretty close. Though I think Bruce already checked out-

"Can you stop that?" Jay asks sharply, pulling me out of my thought process.

I pull the ice out of my mouth again, causing it to pop louder than I meant to. "Can I stop what?"

"That," he hisses, eyes throwing daggers at me. "You're being annoying."

"Oh, I'm sorry," I mumble, going back to my treat but making sure to be as quiet as possible as I enjoy it. I wonder if the Riddler just fled town? Probably not, if he hasn't before, I don't see him doing it now. Maybe we should just interrogate Two-Face about it. Even if Bruce cleared all of Two-Face's hideouts, that doesn't mean he doesn't know where his buddy is.

"Y/N," Jason husks out, his voice a lot closer to me than it was before. I look up from the floor to be met with Jason once again barely an inch away. "You should go back upstairs."

"Why?" I ask around the ice-pop, cranking my neck some to look into Jay's eyes.

He rolls his jaw some, his eyes hard as they stare down at mine. "You're being a distraction," Jason finally answers, taking the popsicle out of my mouth and throwing it on the workbench. "Go upstairs."

"Hey! You just ruined my treat," I whine, dropping my hands to my hips as I glare at the taller ex-robin.

He rolls his eyes, starting to walk away as he mumbles to himself, "Maybe I wouldn't have ruined it if you did that to my-" The sentence is cut off as Jay sits back down on the floor.

If I did that to his what?... Oh... Oh... No, I did not... I didn't get into Jay's head. I mean, I teased a bit, but I didn't think it was that bad. I barely did anything. Well, unless me 'annoying' him wasn't normal annoyance and was that kind of annoyance instead. Was it?

I hum, pushing myself off the workbench, and start heading towards the door so I can test my theory. "Maybe if you'd ask like a big boy I would," I mumble as I slide past Jason, quickly slipping out the door after the words are out. I leave the door open, giving me the chance to sneak a peek at how he's reacting. Jay's head shoots up at my words, his eyes glancing from my descending form and the project in front of him.

"Y/N," he calls, quickly climbing to his feet and chasing after me. His big hands wrap around my shoulders, pulling me back. "What did you say?" he asks, shifting himself so I'm trapped between him and the bat-mobile.

"What did you say?" I repeat, shoving my hands into the back pockets of my pants.

Jason stands there, hands still heavy on my shoulders as he stares down at me. "I... didn't say shit," he finally pushes out, taking a quick glance at my lips before staring back at my face.

"I didn't say anything either then."

Silence falls between us, the only sound being Tim tapping away at the computer and occasional yaps from the bats hanging from the ceiling. "You... you are a fucking tease," Jay finally whispers, his fingers featherily light as they skip down my arms.

"How am I tease?" I ask, making sure to sound cocky. I'm finally going to get him to talk about the kiss. I win.

"Sitting there blowing a popsicle... Looking at me with doe eyes..." Jay's hands jump from my arms to my waist, still light as they dance across the waistband of my jeans. "Spending the last week walking around with almost nothing on. Pretending it's so there's easier access to your bandages," he mumbles, his fingers working at undoing my pants.

"Jay, I was just trying to get you to talk about - Oh!" My words are cut off by a soft moan as Hood dances his fingers across my clothed pussy. My hand falls back to his wrist, wrapping my fingers around it tighter than I did earlier as the other one slides around his shoulders to latch onto the back of his neck.

"Oh?" He repeats pupils dilated, hiding some of the green as he watches my reactions. His fingers are still light as they circle my clit, down to my hole, before circling back up again. My legs close some, the feeling of Jason's forearm muscles being pressed into my thighs. "You know, since bringing you back to the cave, seeing how cute you looked all bandaged up and planted in that hospital bed-" he starts, tilting his head down and whispering in my ear, "- all I've thought about is how amazing it would be to serve you. Living on my knees so I can please you. It must be so painful to get yourself off with five bullet holes littering your stomach. Tell me, can you bend enough to finger yourself, Baby?"

"Jay-"

"I asked a question," he says, shifting his head over so that our noses are gently pressed together. "Yes-" he starts, sliding his fingers under the right side of my panties, "-or no?" Hood finishes, switching his touches to the left side of my underwear.

"No," I breathe out, releasing his wrist to join my hand on his neck alongside the other one.

"Hmm," he hums out, placing a quick peck on my lips before lifting his head again. Jay drops his hand from my pussy, wrapping both of them around my thighs to lift me. I whine from the lack of friction, getting a chuckle out of him. He's careful not to press against my stomach, avoiding causing pain to flower from my healing wounds. Jay's lips are light as they slide over my neck and his hands heavy as they set me down on the hood of the car.

"Jason you can't, we can't-"

"I can, you just have to let me," he mumbles, sliding his hands to my back and dipping down my pants. His hands are warm as he pushes my pants off of me, and gentle as he lifts me to pull them down my legs before discarding them to the ground. "Let me taste you, please?" Jay whispers, placing a kiss behind my ear before trailing down my jaw and neck again.

"But Tim's in the cave," I whine, shoving my hands into his hair and letting my fingers get tangled in it.

"So?" He asks, sliding his hands under my shirt, hooking his thumbs on the hum to push it up as his hands rise.

"Ow, fuck don't do that," I hiss when Jay slides over one of my wounds.

"I'm sorry," he murmurs, pushing my shirt over my head and letting it fall onto the hood of the car. Once my shirt is off, Jason's mouth is instantly attached to me. He makes quick work, sucking and kissing any skin he comes in contact with as his hands slide back down to my thighs. The chillness of the car aids in the need that's building. My thighs are peeled apart, and my panties are soon descending my legs as well.

"I cannot wait until you're better."

"Why is that?" I ask, my fingers tugging on his hair as his fingers ghost over my clit.

"I want to hear you sucking on me like you did that popsicle," Jason says, stealing another quick kiss before he falls to his knees. "Take your bra off," he orders, glancing up at me before looking back at my cunt, "I want to see your tits as I enjoy your pussy."

Reluctantly, I remove my hands from his hair, unclasping my bra and tossing it on top of my pants before planting them back on his head. Jay's eyes stay locked on my tits as he makes long, slow licks over my clit. His hands are rough as they grip my thighs, stopping me from locking them around his head. "You taste so good," he whispers, poking his tongue into my pussy before latching his mouth around my clit.

Jason enjoys himself, watching my boobs move around as he sucks and licks at me. It doesn't take long for the knot in my stomach to tighten and soon enough I release onto Hood's tongue. He hums happily to himself, taking his time licking my mess up. "Bruce is going to be pissed when he sees the mess you left on his car," he teases, followed by a soft chuckle.

"Jay," I whine, tugging on his hair to try and get him to crawl up my body.

"Y/N," he whines back, further teasing me but doing as I want. "You're acting like a whiney little thing. What happened to the badass that teased me with a popsicle? Not so badass anymore, huh?" His fingers dip into me, curling occasionally before he pulls them back out of me. "Are you a needy brat? The spoiled Wayne baby that's not used to being told no?" Jay's fingers speed up their pumping as he degrades me, kisses being littered across me as he speaks.

"Jason, please," I whine again, dropping my hands to his waist to try and pull him closer to me.

"Please what, baby? What do you want?"

"Please?" I try again, drawing out the word.

"'Maybe if you'd ask like a big girl I would' give you what you want," he says, throwing my words back in my face.

"Fuck me, Jay," I mumble, working my hands at his belt and pants to try and undo them. I do manage to get them undone and waste no time sliding my hand in. I softly paw at his dick, impatiently waiting to hear him make the noises he's been forcing out of me.

"What a needy little thing. Less than ten minutes ago you were oh so worried about Tim seeing us and now look at you. You're naked propped up on a car, begging me to fuck you as you give me a handy. It turns you on, doesn't it? It turns you on knowing at any second someone could see me filling your pussy." I hate to admit it but he's not wrong and he knows it, which makes it even worse.

Jason chuckles a bit as he pulls his fingers out of me. I pout at the emptiness left inside me, which gets me a deep, slow kiss from the anti-hero. "Don't pout baby, I'll fill you back up in no time," he promises, wrapping his arms around my legs again to lift me. Jay props me back on my feet before turning me around and bending me over the hood of the car, being careful not to push the metal into my bandages.

The cold metal sends shivers through me and causes my nipples to harden almost painfully. In no time his fingers are sliding back into me, continuing to gently push me towards my orgasm. The jingling of Jay's belt fills the space between before his fingers are lost, and his tip is pressed against my hole to mess with me. He gently pushes his head against me, pulling back before it goes in. "You're teasing," I finally whine, shimming my hips back when he places his tip against me again.

Jay chuckles but lets me get the extra inch from my movements. "You teased first," he reminds me, placing his hands on my hips. The roughness feels nice against my smooth skin as he tightens his grasp. He uses his hands to keep me in place as he slides the rest of the way in. The stretching sends continual waves of pleasure through me, rewarding Jay with a soft moan. His hair softly tickles me as he leans down to litter my back with kisses, using them to fill in the time he's given me to adjust.

After a minute, Jason slowly pulls out before bottoming out in me again. His pace stays slow and soft as he uses me. The zipper of his pants rubs against my thighs every time our hips clash. "Jay, I need more," I whimper, trying to buck my hips back but his hands stop me from doing it.

"You don't need more, you want more," he answers, a smirk forming in his kisses. Despite the teasing, Jay gives in, keeping his pace slow but thrusting into me harder. I can feel myself tightening around him and his thrusts getting sloppier. "You're such a fucking tease," he mumbles as his pace quickens. "Filling my work room and my head with the sounds of you slurping and sucking away on your stupid treat."

"Jay-" I say, trying to get his attention as he thrusts push me closer to the car's grill than I'd like.

"I know, baby," he mumbles against my shoulder before pressing a kiss to it. Jason's hands slip from my hips to my stomach, gently cupping my wounds and making sure not to add any pressure to them. "I'm so fucking close," he murmurs, his thrusts still inching me up the hood. His hands bump into the front of the car, adding slight pressure to my stomach before he adjusts his placement.

Jason's thrusts gentle a bit as he slips one of his hands down to my clit, starting to rub circles into it. Mews fall out of me, mixing with Jay's heavy breathing. "I'm sorry," he mumbles against my ear as he pulls me back by my waist, shoving himself as far in as he can. His fingers keep circling my clit as he fills my womb. "Fuck, fuck, fuck," he murmurs once my release comes and I tighten around him still tucked into me.

We stay like this, Jason buried into me, his hands rubbing circles into my hips as he litters kisses across my back and I still hunch over the bat-mobile, my legs threatening to give out from under me if we don't move soon. "So, about our kiss the other day?"

Jay lets out a deep laugh, smashing another kiss into my shoulder blade before slowly pulling out of me. The mix of our juices leaks down my legs, Jason's fingers rubbing it around my thighs. "Maybe we should worry about cleaning you and the Bat's car before we discuss that and this." Touché Hood.

#young justice #young justice oneshot #jason todd #young justice smut #jason todd oneshot #jason todd x reader #jason todd smut #redhood oneshot #redhood x reader #redhood smut #redhood

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justkending · 4 months

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Mr. & Mrs. Hunt (7/7)

Mini-Series Summary: Two of the most stubborn people in the group partnered together for an undercover mission are also the two people with the most hatred for each other, so what could go wrong? Or is it, what COULDN’T go wrong?…

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger Reader (Enemies to Lovers) (Fake Marriage Trope)

Word Count: 1800+ (shorter but sweet;)

A/N: This is the last chapter of the mini-series! I've loved a break from all my other WIPs and am surprised that I was able to complete this even if I wasn't sure where it was going 🥲 Thank you all again for the support, comments, and sweet love you've sent my way, and I hope to have more free time to write this summer now that I'm on break!🥳💞

Next Chapter

Y/N’s POV:

Four months have gone by since our mission. And to say things are different would be an understatement.

We kept the game of hating each other going on long enough for Steve and Nat to both lose their bets. And then we each did a little betting on the side with the two on how fast we could make the other reconcile. Bucky and I both were $200 richer after that.

The team was shocked at the new friendship, but after some consideration and after coming clean to Bucky about my reasoning for how I treated him, I felt a weight off my chest. That weight grew lighter and lighter with each person I confided in, making our explanation of no longer having a feud unimportant.

My story was a reason for how I acted the last almost five years with Bucky, but it wasn’t a valid one. I was happy to have moved past it and frustrated that it took me this long.

Comfort in having Bucky as a genuine friend was a gift I starved myself of for so long, and I’m happy to know that I’ll have it from here on out.

“If Sam asks, I didn’t do it,” Bucky sped walked into the room and tried to act casual as if he had been in the space the whole time, standing next to me at the kitchen island as I cut up fruit for my snack I'd become hyper fixated on recently.

God bless the billionaire who could keep all fruits, in season or not, on hand.

“Got it,” I nodded unphased, never taking my eyes from the cutting board before me.

“Have I told you thank you for never questioning my antics with Sam?” The smile in his voice is evident, and I turn to see the proof of it stretched across his features as he looks down at me.

“You've established your appreciation once or twice since we’ve become friends,” I laugh, looking back at my work. “Grab me some blueberries from the fridge, will ya?”

As he moved and started opening the fridge, perfect timing, Sam turned into the kitchen with steam practically blowing out of his ears.

“What did you do?” he grunted as he stomped in, fists at his sides.

Bucky turned from halfway in the fridge and gave him a confused look. If there was one thing I learned about him while on the mission, he was a great actor.

“Y/N or me?” he asked, pointing between us with the carton of blueberries in his hand. “Do you want an apple too?” he asked casually, one already in his hand as if Sam wasn’t seconds from shooting him from existence with Redwing.

“Sure, why not?” I hummed, dropping the knife and wiping my hands as I turned to Sam. “What are you going on about?”

“I know it wasn’t Y/N, Barnes. She’s been on a mission the last two days and just got back this morning. This was a premeditated hate crime.”

“Whoa. I’m intrigued now,” I laugh, and start placing the cut strawberries into a bowl I had out and take the apple Bucky hands off to me.

“You want to tell her about your fun, little prank?” Sam turns his annoyance to Bucky with crossed arms, and Bucky flips on the water to wash the berries in hand.

“I would have to know what you’re talking about in order to tell her.”

“Don’t play coy, Barnes,” he points a finger his way, and his eyes could laser through vibranium if they wanted.

“Help us out. Give us context,” I carry on, very intrigued with what it is Bucky had done, and start cutting the apple up.

“As if he doesn’t already know,” Sam grumbled, walking in further. “You know how I had to buy all new long sleeve thermals because my clothes don’t fit anymore?”

I hummed and smiled down at the fruit. “Getting too swole in the gym, as I heard you tell Steve. Trying to match his bench press will do that, trust me. I know,” I raised an arm and flexed for extra measure, and he rolled his eyes as Bucky laughed and placed the cleaned blueberries on the counter.

“Tell me why all my new shirts don’t work…” Sam looked to Bucky with a cold, calculated stare.

“Would work be the correct term?” Bucky poked. “Would you say shirts ‘work’ or ‘fit’?” He looks at me with the tiniest smirk on his lips. I shook my head, trying to soften the smile growing on my own.

“You sewed the end of my sleeves shut so my arm wouldn’t go all the way through!” Sam shouted, pulling the shirt from his back pocket and holding it up.

Bucky let out a ‘pft’ sound and leaned against the counter by me. “Who’s to say I even know how to sew?” In truth, I knew he was using me as a barrier when Sam eventually fell over the edge and gave into his fantasy of choking him out.

“Shut up!” Sam growled. “You stitch yourself up on missions half that time because you hate having the nurses do it. Obviously, you know how to work a needle and thread.”

“Needle and floss most of the time, actually,” he shrugs, and that does it for Sam.

“I’m gonna beat your ass!” Sam stomps hurridly to the counter, but Bucky goes on the other side, estimating his moves.

“Have to catch me first!” he said with a wicked grin, and Sam wasted no time running after him.

As Bucky escaped the room and Sam followed behind him, I heard a “That’s what you get for hiding all the remotes in my room while I was gone, dick!”

_______________________

A few days later, after I got a stitch ripper and helped Sam get his thermal shirts ‘working,’ I asked Nat and Wanda to join me on a girls' trip to buy a new winter wardrobe now that the seasons had officially started turning in New York.

When we returned, Nat was called to talk with Fury, and Banner asked Wanda to be a second set of eyes for something in the lab.

I was left grabbing my bags by myself in the den, and just as I was about to tumble to the side with the last overstuffed brown sack, Bucky came around and caught me. His hand wrapped around my waist as the other grabbed the bag that would have been my doom.

“Thanks,” I groaned as the weight of them pressed into my wrist from the handles.

“What happened to all those gains you got matching Steve’s bench press?” he laughed, taking at least three bags before I waved him off, taking the others myself.

“I gave up on that challenge a long time ago. I’ve lost the muscle mass, unfortunately.”

“You didn’t lose it. Just transferred it,” he winked, curling the fourth bag I fought him taking.

I rolled my eyes and nodded my head toward the hall with our apartments. “You do have a vibranium arm. That gives you more of an advantage than you give credit for.”

“Just be happy this advantage is working for you and not against you,” he kicked the back of my knee as he followed behind me. “Find anything good?”

I turn back and see him glancing in the bag like the snoop he is.

“If I tell you, are you going to sew my sleeves shut?” I hum, turning a corner down the hall from my door.

“Only if you hide all my remotes and then log out of all my streaming services, so I have to put them all in one by one,” he whistles a jazzy tune. “Stear clear of that, and I’ll be nice.”

“Ooo,” I cringe, turning and looking at him as I put my thumbprint on the door to unlock it. “He got you with the minor inconvenience prank. Those are the worst.”

“Minor was an understatement. Hence the retaliation.”

We both go inside, and Bucky places his bags on the couch while I dump the remaining ones on my bed.

“Thanks for the help,” I smile, stretching from the long day out, and shrug off my coat as I settle.

“No problem,” he replies, but I don’t hear him move to leave, so once I throw my coat off completely, I turn and give him a look. He’s watching me intently, and I feel almost bare under his gaze.

“Was there something-”

“Can I ask you something?” he cuts me off, and his mood shifts.

“Um, yeah. Sure. What’s up?” I turn to him and give him my full attention cause it seems serious.

He hesitates at first and almost looks nervous as he contemplates how to ask me whatever it is.

“Are you doing anything tonight?” he looks around my room towards the living space.

I follow his gaze, trying to see if I’m missing something. “Plans that I can think of... No. Why?”

“I was wonder- well. I was- I was wondering if you’d want to maybe- I mean, if you’re up for it, of course, possibly maybe, watch a movie or something?” he gets out, and oh my God. I’ve never seen him fumble over his words like this before.

“Watch a movie?” I recap as I blink out of the idea that Bucky is 100% nervous. “You and me or with the rest of the team?”

He lets out a small chuckle and rubs the back of his neck.

“You and me. If you’re ok with that,” he answers, looking at me bashfully.

“I’d be up for that,” I smile and my stomach does a little flip even if I’m not sure where he’s going with this. But the teenage girl who never got to experience this before is doing cartwheels. “What movie were you thinking?”

He seems to have a permanent smile now because of my answer, and I can’t lie and say the one on my face doesn’t hurt a little from how wide it is.

“Lady's choice. I’ll bring one of those fruit bowls you like to make and maybe-”

“I made some cookies this morning. I hid them in the pantry because we all know Tony and Sam would have finished them off before I had a chance even to smell them from the oven,” I rush out.

“You’re baking tends to have that effect on many people around here. I kind of miss when I was the one and only recipient of it,” he laughs. “Even if I wasn’t lying about gaining a few pounds.”

I roll my eyes at that and start to walk to the door, stopping to put a hand on his shoulder. “We both know that your metabolism is far too magical for that to be a long-term problem.”

“True, but I’m not against testing that theory,” he shrugs, bumping my shoulder with his own as he walks with me.

I stop right before reaching the door and turn to him with a grin and blush I cannot control.

“Bucky, is this a date?”

As if he’s so sure of himself now, the nerves melt off him; he says, “I was hoping we could count it as one this time. Considering all the others were fake, even if I don't count most of them that way...”

Marvel Tags:

@thejourneyneverendsx @death-unbecomes-you @mythos-writes @srrymydood @xa-dia @redhairedfeistynerd @morganclaire4 @connie326 @captain-asguard @mollygetssherlockcoffee @teenagedreams-bucky @shower-me-with-roses @livstilinski @basicallylool @starryeyeseunbyul

My Lovelies Forever:

@natura1phenomenon @lauravicente @kakakatey @traceyaudette @notyourtypicalrose @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce @sandlee44 @thorne93 @thefaithfulwriter1 @essie1876 @greyeyedsmile14 @capsiclehan @xostephanie @averyrogers83 @awesomenursingstudent @gh0stgurl @cs-please @jjlevin @rainbowkisses31 @deannotmoose @their-bibliophile @kitkatd7 @willowbleedsonpaper @mariaenchanted @snffbeebee @couldabeenamermaid @rebekahdawkins @alyispunk @billyseye @hallecarey1

Bucky Barnes Tags:

@chloe-skywalker @charmedbysarge @jbarness @bellamy-barnes @katiaw2 @aikeia @stopjustlovethemcu @enchantedbarnes

Mr. & Mrs. Hunt Series:

@jackiehollanderr @mrs-bucky-barnes-73 @theroyalmanatee @wintrsoldrluvr @alexakeyloveloki @bxckybxrnes24 @lillianacristina @selella @heletsmelovehim @lovelybaka @julvrs @mostlymarvelgirl @heletsmelovehim @learisa @bubblegumbeautyqueen @that-d-bitch @rabbitrabbit12321

#bucky barnes mini series #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x reader insert #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x mini series #justkending #marvel mini series #bucky barnes x avenger reader

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averysmolbear · 11 months

Text

A/N: This is very self indulgent and self ship coded. As always I hope that you enjoy it anyway. It’s just complete fluff as well (which seems to be my specialty). It hasn’t really been proofread so there’s bound to be some mistakes in here. Sorry about that. The reader isn’t explicitly stated to be female but keep in mind that with it being self ship coded, it was written with a female reader in mind. There’s some pet names in here as well, in case that’s not your cup of tea.

You hugged Taishiro’s arm a little tighter, causing your pro hero boyfriend to let out a chuckle as he looked down at you. You shivered a little as the chilly morning air felt like it was cutting right through the sweater you were wearing. He placed an arm around your waist and pulled you closer before pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head as you let yourself snuggle into Taishiro’s side. He was somewhere between his slim and full fat forms and to you that meant he was perfect for cuddles.

“Feeling a little chilly, cupcake?”

You looked up at Taishiro and shook your head. When you saw him looking at you with an eyebrow raised and a slight frown on his face, you knew that you couldn’t lie about something like this with him. “Maybe a little,” you softly said with a sheepish smile, snuggling in closer to him.

Taishiro laughed softly as he pulled you even closer, happy to let you use him for warmth as the two of you wandered around outside. “Coming to the orchard was your idea. I was perfectly fine with running to the store for snacks and spending the day curled up on the couch together.”

You rolled your eyes and shook your head. This was one of the rare days that you had Taishiro to yourself and you were going to take full advantage of every moment of it. “No, it’s fall. That means we need to come pick apples so I can make a bunch of stuff when we get home.”

Taishiro held up the empty basket in his other hand with a grin. He, of course, wouldn’t argue about getting to make some freshly baked treats with you. Plus if you were happy, he was happy. Taishiro just wanted to be able to spend the day with you. “Then let’s go fill this up, You know I won’t say no to fresh baked treats.”

Shortly after making it back home with more apples than you had expected, you had made your way straight for the kitchen to wash the fruit and to start prepping for the baking ahead. Taishiro, for his part, gave you space for the moment. He knew that when you got into the kitchen, you could be a bit of a whirlwind and while he didn’t mind, he figured that he would let you get the prep work done before he tried to pop in to see if you needed any help.

He wasn’t sure how long you had been in the kitchen but it had honestly started to feel like it was just too long and he had to check in on you. Taishiro watched for a moment from the doorway as you bounced from task to task. He was starting to get a bit concerned when he realized that one of the things you were trying to do was chop some of the apples so he carefully walked up behind you, placing his hands on your hips.

You jumped a little and let out a sigh as you felt his arms wrap a little more fully around your waist. “You do realize that I have a knife in my hand right now, right? I could’ve hurt myself!” You glance over your shoulder as you speak to see a blushing Taishiro looking down at you with a sheepish grin.

He shrugged before reaching into the bowl of chopped apples to steal a couple of pieces with a wider grin. “I thought you might need my help. Let me finish chopping those up for you. Is it for the pie filling or something else?”

You let out a sigh before handing him the knife, nodding. “Well it’s for the pie and the homemade applesauce I want to make to use in an apple bread.” You watch him carefully for a moment before you catch Taishiro frowning at you a bit. “What?”

Your boyfriend kissed the top of your head softly before nodding to the empty bowl in front of you. “Why don’t you work on the crust for the pie while I finish this? I promise I’ve got a handle on it. You can trust me, cupcake.”

You nodded, feeling your face heat up a bit before you started to work on the rest of the pie. Soon you were giving Taishiro direction to get him started on cooking the pie filling, laughing a bit as he would sneak a taste or two to make sure it was right as you prepped the pie pan with the crust you had just rolled out. Taishiro even made sure that you got a chance to taste the filling to make sure he had done a good job.

Once the pie was in the oven, the two of you worked together to make something that vaguely resembled a chunky applesauce.Taishiro was soon pulling out his phone to look up how to make candied apples with you gathering the ingredients in the pantry. You were probably indulging him a little too much but the two of you were having so much fun that you couldn’t seem to resist.

With the candied apples cooling, you pulled the pie out of the oven and turned to see your boyfriend grinning at you as he looked from your face to the pastry in your hands. You shook your head with a soft laugh. “You’re going to have to let it cool off before you even try to steal a slice.”

Taishiro chuckled and shrugged his broad shoulders with a wide grin. He wasn’t surprised that you knew he was already thinking about getting to try some of the apple pie. “What about the bread you were talking about making?”

“Tomorrow,” you said as you started to gather up the dishes to wash them.

“How about I make a run to that ramen restaurant down the street to pick up dinner while you clean up?” Taishiro knew that you liked to keep the kitchen in a very specific manner and he didn’t want to get in the way. When you nodded, he happily ran out to get the two of you dinner. He remembered your favorite order after all. He was even thinking about stopping to pick up some of your favorite tea from a shop nearby as well as an extra little surprise.

You cleaned up the kitchen quickly while he was out. Slicing up the pie, you placed a couple of slices on plates for the two of you. You set them on the kitchen table, smiling as you saw the wide grin on Taishiro’s face. Settling on the couch with him, the two of you ate dessert first.

“We need to do this more often,” Taishiro said between bites of the pie.

All you could do was smile and nod, knowing that you would take every moment like this with him that you could get.

#tessie writes #toyomitsu taishiro x reader #taishiro toyomitsu x reader #fatgum x reader #fat gum x reader #self ship coded fanfic

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lightsoutletsgo · 6 months

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hello mimikins i am here asking u to ship me w a driver pls and thank u. i am an '03, finishing up year 3 of my super cool and smart science bach degree. ummm i dont know how to describe myself. i like to think im funny and sarcastic and people probably think i talk to much. ok have fun i love u congrats on 500 :P

BEAR!! okay I knew as soon as I saw your request who I was gonna pick fr (I picked him even before our little rant earlier) mwah mimikins 🤍

LOGAN SARGEANT ᝰ.ᐟ₊ ⊹ - calls you sweet girl, pretty girl or baby - loves your eyes so much! like honestly finds himself getting lost in them mid-conversation and then being like "huh? sorry baby what did you say?" - his love language is a mixture of quality time and physical touch. he's happy to spend time just existing with you when you're both doing your own thing, but he also loves cuddling with you and holding your hand - loves loves LOVES when he gets to treat you as his passenger princess! we're talking seat warmer on, blanket, little snack box, charging cable in your favourite colour, cute cosy slippers for your feet and he's the bf who has a "passenger princess" sticker on the passenger seat sun visor mirror

logan loves helping you study! he happily cuts up little fruit pots for you or makes your favourite snack and rewards you with a bite and a kiss when you get the right answer. whenever he can, he picks you up from class after a test and always asks you how it went. he'll cuddle you and tell you you did a good job regardless of the outcome. he's great at helping you stay focused and he will sometimes kidnap your phone so you're not tempted to get distracted.

he loves that you're sarcastic and dry sometimes because it reminds him a lot of oscar's sense of humour so he's used to it. he doesn't mind sometimes being the one you make fun of - he knows you don't mean it, plus! if he pouts about it, he knows you'll kiss him until his pout disappears. loves taking you to drive-in movies and driving to the beach to stargaze. he's actually a real softie and romantic at heart. he loves going on dates like bowling or to the arcade! anything where he gets to hold your hand or be a gentleman or do something for you, like win a huge giant teddy - he finds his heart still skips a beat every time he facetimes you when he's away and you're cuddling the bear dressed in one of his hoodies sprayed with his cologne as a substitute until he comes home.

he never thinks you talk to much! in fact he likes that you talk a lot because he's quite quiet. he loves listening to you mumble to yourself while you're revising and studying and he can't help the way he smiles when he listens to you talking to yourself when cooking or focusing on something. logan finds though that sometimes, late at night when you're curled up next to him, your hand clutching his tightly even in your sleep, he's the one talking. he talks to you about his plans for the future, how glad he is he met you, how much he loves your smile and how happy you made him that day. he swears one day he'll tell you when you're awake but he's still working up the confidence to do it! it's okay though, you know... you caught him one night when he thought you'd fallen asleep and now you try and stay awake that little bit longer just to hear what he will say to you.

"logan?" you call as you open the front door, the weight of today's classes and tests pushing down on your shoulders, "kitchen!" he calls out and from further inside the house you can hear your playlist of nostalgic childhood bops drifting down the hallway. you drop your bag in the hallway and kick your shoes off, just wanting to forget the day already. as you enter the kitchen he looks up at you, a huge grin spread across his face, "how was your day baby?" you just shake your head, unable to find the words. sensing your angst he moves around the kitchen island, "want a hug?" you sigh and nod, your head dropping to lean against his chest as he wraps his arms around you, his head resting on top of yours as he sways you along to the track playing in the background. "well... I'm still proud of you sweet girl." he pulls back to look at your face. placing a soft kiss to your scrunched forehead and sighing with relief inwardly when the tension there melts away. "can I offer you a suggestion to cheer you up?" you nod and he leads you over to the counter excitedly, "I got some of that pizza dough and sauce and toppings and stuff and I figured we could make pizzas and then watch a movie?" you smile at him, "sounds perfect love!" he backs you up against the counter and places a hand either side of you, effectively trapping you, "you are perfect baby."

#mimi's 500 celebration ₊˚⊹ ᥫ᭡#sweet moots ₊˚✧*:･#bear 🐻#the charles to my carlos #mimi.writes #f1 x reader #logan sargeant x reader

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the-chosen-fanfiction · 1 year

Text

Jesus | Blinded To The Truth | Platonic

Dialogue prompt: “You really like making things difficult.”

Requested: Yes

After inviting you to listen to His meditation at Synagogue, your childhood Friend Jesus makes the boldest of claims.

“Hey, you’re cheating!”

“I am doing no such thing!” you quip, throwing the small ball towards Rafi in the hopes he will not catch it–

–He catches it with his left hand and you huff, preparing yourself to get it hurled back at you in return. However, Rafi tosses it with a firm movement of his arm towards Jesus, Who misses it by a hair. The ball falls to the grass and Rafi cheers, causing you to roll your eyes. Aaron lets out a sigh of defeat.

“I win!” Rafi exclaims.

You place a hand on your hip. “Fine, you win. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I am going to get myself some snacks to comfort myself at this incredible loss.”

“Nah, (Y/n), you are just being sarcastic now even though I know quite certainly that you are upset.”

“I’m not! It’s Rosh Hashanah, I will not allow myself to sulk over something like a game.”

Jesus chuckles at your response and runs a hand through His hair, sighing deeply. “You did better at this game than I did, (Y/n),” He reassures you. You smile at your childhood Friend, Who heads over to you. “I will join you for that comfort snack, okay?”

You nod in agreement and both of you head for the nearest platter of sweet treats. You scoop a whole load of honey onto a slice of apple and give it to Jesus. He thanks you with a word of gratitude and waits for you to get one for yourself as well.

“Hey,” Jesus begins as the pair of you bask in the sunlight, enjoying the fruit. “I am going to give a Torah reading tonight at the synagogue. Would you like to attend as well? You’re a good friend of Mine, so I would appreciate it if you were to–”

“Of course!” you say without hesitation, “I knew that You were a Rabbi now. Your mother told me about Your ministry.”

Jesus hums. “I don’t think she told you all of it.”

You frown in puzzlement. “What do You mean?”

The Nazarene gives you a look. “You’ll see.”

Trusting Him enough to not ask, you decide to not press any further.

“Time for a rematch?” you suggest, nodding at Lazarus and Rafi, who are still gloating in their victory.

Jesus nods in agreement, polishing off the honied apple. “Let’s go.”

In spite of the heat outside, the synagogue is cool and dark, apart from some light drifting in through the small windows above. The village of Nazareth has gathered and you’ve taken a seat with two women who introduced themselves to you as Martha and Mary, whom you’ve started to mingle with in anticipation of Jesus’ reading. You’re curious to see what He will choose to read.

The crowd’s chatter falls silent when Rabbi Benjamin walks up to the pulpit and stretches his arms in a way to lead everyone into prayer. You bow your head and close your eyes.

“Blessed are You Lord our God, King of the universe. Who has kept us alive and sustained us for another year. Who bestows kindness, restores and redeems. Praise to You, Adonai our God, sovereign over creation. Who has chosen us from all the peoples. May Your blessings be all who seek You earnestly. Bring joy to Your land and gladness to Your city. In Your mercy, bestow on us a prosperous year, a bountiful harvest, and the promised arrival of Meshiach. Your anointed One, the Son of David.”

The congregation replies with an agreeing ‘amen’ as the sound of the shofar fills the room in a few quick puffs of noise. Goosebumps litter your skin at the sound like it does to you every time, and you smile, watching Jesus across the room.

“Thank you for the call to repentance and rest.” Rabbi Benjamin comments. “And now, for the reading and interpretation we have with us Jesus bar Joseph. He was one of my students in Torah class and we’ve heard reports–” he turns to Jesus, “Some of them very positive, of His rabbinic journeys.” Jesus and Lazarus chuckle a bit, “Jesus.”

Jesus heads for the pulpit and smiles. “Thank you, Rabbi Benjamin. Ah, please.” He gestures for the person carrying the scroll to lay it out for Him.

“You know, it’s not easy to share in front of Nazareth’s most pre-eminent Rabbi, but I will do My best. And I’m certain that if I miss a word or two, one of you at least will speak up, huh?”

A few of the men make sounds of agreement, Lazarus leaning against a pillar with his arms crossed. “Oh, don’t worry.”

“I wonder who it will be,” Jesus murmurs in amusement before turning to the scroll.

“A reading from the scroll of the prophet Isaiah.” Jesus announces, then lifts His eyes upwards for a few silent seconds. He unfurls the scroll and takes the yad to point at the text He is reading to follow along.

“The Spirit of the Lord God is upon Me. Because the Lord has anointed Me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted; to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovery of sight of the blind. To the opening of the prison for those who are bound; to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favour.”

With bated breath, you watch as He steps away from the scroll and rolls it up, handing it back to the assistant before taking a seat in the chair placed in the middle of the room. For a moment, He locks eyes with Lazarus, then with you, until He opens His mouth to speak.

“The fulfilment of this Scripture as you have heard it is today. This is the year of the Lord’s favour. This is a year of jubilee. A year the poor, the brokenhearted, the captive and the blind are offered redemption.”

Your heart stutters inside your chest. Are you hearing this correctly?

Rabbi Benjamin’s posture stiffens.

“Here. Now.”

Jesus pauses for a few moments, and Lazarus speaks up. “We are here with You,” he remarks, “Keep going.” He seems just as interested in Jesus’ words as you are. “Not bad for a carpenter’s son, yes?”

You cannot fight the small laugh that escapes you, and Rabbi Benjamin gives you a sharp look.

“I mean, especially Joseph…” Lazarus continues, “May he rest in peace…”

Rabbi Benjamin has a stern look on his face when he speaks up.

“Jesus, please explain why You stopped the reading before Isaiah spoke of the day of vengeance of our God? Especially during a time of such oppression.”

A few silent moments as you keep your gaze focused on Jesus, anxious what He will say. You have never heard this interpretation before, and you’re only hoping that Jesus will not say anything that could get Him in trouble.

“The day of vengeance is in the future. I’m not here for vengeance. I’m here for salvation.”

Rafi and Aaron’s brows furrow, as does Rabbi Benjamin’s. “You’re here for salvation?” the Rabbi mutters, “What are You saying?”

Over her shoulder, Mary looks at you with a delighted look on her face. Your expression resembles confusion as your heart hammers inside your chest. “It’s Him…” Mary whispers, “He is trying to say that He is… You know…”

You swallow thickly. Thinking of the rumours that have been going around about Jesus, and now… Could He be…

“You know what I am saying.”

Your heart skips a beat.

“And this year of jubilee, this year of the Lord’s favour, is not about release from financial debts. I’m here to provide release from spiritual debt.”

“We are the chosen seed of Abraham.” Benjamin darkly sounds, “We don’t have spiritual debt!”

Jesus purses His lips and looks away.

“Jesus,” Aaron starts. “We’ve been hearing about the signs and wonders, and now this? Are You claiming to be more than a Rabbi? More than even the Baptiser?” Aaron has the exact same question as you.

The room is tense and you lean closer towards Him, not wanting to miss a single word.

“No doubt one of you will quote me the Proverb; ‘Physician, heal yourself’. The things we heard You did in Capernaum and in Syria, do here in Your hometown, yes?”

“Why not?”

“I get it.” Jesus counters. “It’s always easier to accept hard truths and even greatness from strangers than from those you know well, especially those you knew as awkward teenagers or even as adults as some of you saw earlier today. Laz here would make a more believable prophet.”

You grin as the two chuckle, until Jesus’ smile falls.

“But this brings up an important truth. No prophet is acceptable in his hometown.”

Around you, people start to mutter amongst themselves.

“Be careful with what You call Yourself.” Benjamin growls.

“This should be easy to prove!” Aaron says, “Dinah and Rafi, you say you saw it, yes?”

Rafi nods. “Yes! Yes, we saw it, but… He did not claim this…”

“A true prophet from Adonai would not deny His own people signs and wonders.”

Jesus takes a sharp breath. “Listen carefully. When a great famine hit Israel during the days of Elijah. Three years and six months. There were many widows, yes? And we know how the Father cares for His chosen people, especially widows. But Elijah was sent to none of them… Not one.”

You drink in every single word He says, your mind spinning with questions and clarity at the same time.

“Instead he was sent to a widow in Sidon, in Zeropath. A Gentile woman. Martha, what happened?”

Jesus turns to her and for a moment, He locks eyes with you. It is as if He can read your mind - your soul - and He nods. He nods to answer the question bouncing around in your skull, and you have to prevent yourself from gasping.

“She gave up her last flour and oil for one more cake and gave it to Elijah.”

“Why would she do that?”

“Elijah told her the Lord said to do so.”

Jesus turns back, “Yes. The Lord said that He would make it so that her flour and oil would never run out. And she believed. A pagan Gentile in a pagan land. And she was hungry enough to know that she needed God and to obey Him. And so, God sent Elijah to multiply our food forever.”

He shortly pauses to let the words sink in.

“What about Elisha, and Naaman? There were many lepers in Israel during this time, but none of them were cleansed except Naaman. Only a Gentile, a Syrian soldier and enemy of the Lord’s people. But he was so desperate, he trusted Elisha, and his leprosy was cleansed.”

The tension in the synagogue rises with every word that falls from His lips, and your throat runs dry at the expression many hold on their faces; deep, unadulterated offence.

“You may be the chosen seed of Abraham, you may be the people of the covenants, but that will not bring you My salvation.” Jesus’ eyes are shimmering with both sadness and persistence, “If you cannot accept that you are spiritually poor and captive, in the same way that a Gentile woman and a Syrian leper recognised their need–”

He pauses, the words getting stuck in His throat as He pinches together his fingers to emphasise the message. Across the room, you see Aaron shake his head slowly, and Rafi’s expression is conflicted.

“If you do not realise that you need a year of the Lord’s favour… Then I cannot save you.”

You can hear a pin drop as the hostility in the room advances, your heart almost leaping out of your chest in fear as Aaron slowly stands, his brow knit together in rage.

“Who do You think You are?!” His voice drips with malice.

“This is what Hannah talked about.” Martha says in front of you, making your chest tight with anxiety for His safety. “That He even called Himself the Messiah!”

Rabbi Benjamin takes a step in Jesus’ direction. “Are You claiming to be the Messiah, or are You merely claiming to speak for the Lord as a prophet?”

Jesus, turned away from the Rabbi at first, slowly pivots in His seat.

When He opens his mouth to answer, your face pales.

“Yes.”

For a moment, you lock eyes with Lazarus, who looks from you to his sister Mary, who has a certain sparkle in her eye that makes you convinced that she believes, too.

And so do you.

Something within your spirit puts you on edge in a way you have never experienced before. It reels inside your gut in a strange way, as if everything in your soul is teetering on the edge of interfering, but that same spirit holds you back from doing so, convinced that He knows how to handle this all.

“You are a false prophet!” Benjamin accuses.

Mother Mary gasps in shock and you put a hand on her shoulder to comfort her immediately. Lazarus reaches over to put a hand on the elderly Rabbi’s shoulder. “Woah, that is quite a thing to say! Jesus, maybe we should leave.”

Aaron interrupts: “Lazarus, you’re His friend, you cannot be involved! You know what the law of Moses says–”

“We are all His friends, Aaron,” Lazarus counters. “We cannot say things like this!”

“Jesus, stand up at once!” Benjamin orders, but Lazarus tries to fan the flames.

“Rabbi, please. Rafi, come with Jesus and me, we will leave, and you can all continue the service.”

Slowly, Jesus rises from the chair.

Rafi clearly draws his own conclusions. “Rabbi Benjamin has asserted false prophecy and I cannot argue it.”

Lazarus will not have any of it. “You said you saw the miracle!”

“He’s saying only He can save us!” Rafi bites.

“He did not use those words–”

“–It’s what I meant.” Jesus quips, earning Him a glare from Lazarus.

“Jesus, you’re not helping!” Lazarus pleads.

Deciding to intervene between your bickering childhood friends, you stand and make your way down to them. “Rafi, are you deaf? And blind? Have you not heard the stories of the miracles? Have you not tasted the wine?”

Aaron scoffs. “Those are just rumours! You’ve got no evidence, and people can say whatever they want. As long as enough people tell the same story, you’d believe anything, wouldn’t you, (Y/n)? Always so gullible…” He shakes his head almost pitifully.

You let out a noise. “And you, not even considering the words of a Man you know to be trustworthy, even though He makes things so clear right now! You really like making things difficult!”

Jesus puts a hand on your shoulder and you turn to Him. He smiles at you softly, His gaze containing a certain kind of warmth that fills you with rest. It is the briefest of moments, but intense nevertheless.

Rafi points a finger at Jesus, breaking the moment of eye-contact. “He’s saying we are not the Holy One’s chosen!”

“Now, He did not say that!”

Rabbi Benjamin’s voice is like ice, full of fury, unlike anything you've ever heard before. It makes the hairs of your neck stand on end. “In words, the book of Moses; ‘But the prophet who presumes to speak a word in My Name that I have not commanded him to speak, that same prophet shall die.’...”

As Lazarus leans closer, he lowers the volume of his voice. Jesus’ mother seems distraught and anxious. “Rabbi Benjamin, I beg of you… Not this…”

“Lazarus,” Jesus calmly hums, “It’s fine…”

“Jesus they’re going to–” Jesus leans closer to His friend and whispers something in his ear for a few moments. As soon as He pulls back, Lazarus stares at Him rather nervously.

“Yes?” Jesus acknowledges, and Lazarus reassures Him.

Before you can speculate, Lazarus locks eyes with you, and nods towards Jesus’ mother Mary, whose eyebrows are furrowed in fear of her Son’s safety. You immediately understand the hint, rushing over to her and crouching down to take her hand in yours. She gives you a grateful glance, but it soon focuses back to her Son, Whose safety she so desperately fears.

“Jesus…” Benjamin utters, “If you do not renounce Your words, we will have no choice but to follow the Law of Moses…”

You can hear your own blood rush inside your ears as the strain within the synagogue reaches its breaking point. The Messiah steps closer to the Rabbi, His eyes filled with heartache.

When Jesus speaks, it is the straw that breaks the camel’s back:

“I AM the Law of Moses.”

Benjamin staggers back, gasping in indignation. Before you can truly process what is going on, Jesus is grabbed into His tunic by Rafi and Aaron, who shove Him towards the exit. They yank off the tallit that is still draped over His shoulders and Mary reaches out. You can barely hold her back to keep her from harm, but Lazarus soon assists you.

Before He is pushed outside, Jesus has a moment of intense eye-contact with His mother, but then, He is forced out.

As Jesus is led out of the synagogue by the angry mob, Mary starts to sob. You can barely look at what is happening, your entire being frightened and shaking, but you cannot follow the crowd to see if there is a way to save Him. All you can do is comfort His mother, who accepts your embrace as you pull her into your arms. Her form trembles in agony.

“Jesus promised that He’d be alright,” Lazarus reassures both His mother and you as everyone pours out of the synagogue, “We will meet Him after sundown on the outskirts of Nazareth, where His father is buried. Mary, you know the place, right?”

Slightly calmed by the words, Mary nods meekly, but her demeanour remains distraught. And who could blame her? Although she trusts that her Son’s word is true, and that He will be alright, a mother’s instinct is ever so strong.

“It will be fine, Mary,” you whisper, yet still filled with questions. “Is this all true? Is He truly the Messiah?”

Mary nods, her lips trembling as fresh tears brim on her eyes.

“He is.”

Your mind spins with everything you feel in this very moment - confusion, happiness, relief, fear. “Then why do they not accept Him? I don’t… I don’t understand. The signs and wonders…”

Mary slowly shakes her head, sniffling a bit, seemingly calming down. “I do not know,” she whispers, “But what I do know is to trust Him on His word.”

“Always, Mary,” you reassure her, “Always.”

You remain in the synagogue until the sun has fully set.

#the chosen #reader insert #the chosen x reader #x reader #chosen x reader #angel studios #the chosen jesus #jesus x reader

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mooodyblue · 2 years

Text

take my pressure to the moon, astronaut | austin x plussized!reader

summary: it's valentine's day and austin wants to treat you right, only for it to backfire due to the anxious thoughts in your head.

warnings: nsfw mdni p in v, mentions of body image issues, mentions of not wanting to eat, read at ur own discretion 🙏🏼 probably missing some warnings idk

wc: 2.2k

a/n: i had nothing planned for today but alas. had a breakdown last night, got an idea at midnight and stayed up till 3 am just to finish this in one sitting. i told myself how i wished there were more plus sized!reader fics that weren't just smut and here i go writing more smut. but it's valentine's day! please be mindful of the tags. stay safe and happy valentine's day my friends <3 title is from 1/6 by sunmi 💗

masterlist

you always hated valentine's day. but it was different this year considering you were with austin now.

previous years, you'd find yourself in the clearance isles the day after, stocking up on your favorite snacks and then have your own late celebration. however, you'd never admit that to austin. you'll still be checking out that clearance isle though.

you didn't think you'd actually get to spend the day with him considering his busy schedule. he'd specifically asked for the day off just to treat you today. you were pleasantly surprised when you woke up to breakfast in bed, made by austin. it was nothing fancy. the tray had a plate of waffles, fruit, toast, eggs and of course, your beloved iced coffee that had mostly milk and creamer in it because you hated the taste of coffee. it's the little things that austin remembers and it's one of the main reasons he won you over.

he set the tray next to you, smiling proudly. "just call me gordon ramsay!"

you looked at the tray, a surpised expression on your face. "oh, austin! this is so-"

"but wait, there's more! hold on." austin left to the room only to return shortly, a small bouquet of roses in hand. "happy valentine's day, baby." he handed you the roses and placed a kiss on your cheek before sitting next to you, moving the tray to your lap.

oh, you could have just cried right then and there. "i didn't even get to do anything for you." you frowned.

"don't worry about it, trust me." he chuckled. he took a piece of fruit from your bowl, "now eat! i have a fun day planned for us." he said, feeding it to you.

after breakfast, you washed up and sat down at your vanity to do your make up. austin joined you in the bedroom, propping himself up on the bed and scrolling through his phone as he waited patiently for you to finish.

"what do you have planned? should i be scared?" you joked, working on your eyes.

he looked over at you, "scared? maybe a little." you widened your eyes, snapping your neck at him. "i'm just kidding! don't worry about it. 'm gonna take you to go buy a new dress for dinner tonight, then i was thinking we could....."austin continued to list off your plans for the day, but all you could do was focus on him mentioning dinner. knowing him, he most likely booked a table for the two of you at a restaurant. a public restaurant.

"...ashley told me about this amazing place in beverly hills......" you weren't even paying attention anymore. the thing is, your weight never really bothered you. it didn't bother austin either, he loved you no matter what size you were. but for some reason, you suddenly felt self conscious at the idea of eating at a public restaurant where you could easily be photographed mid bite, just to end up on the cover of some headline about someone at your weight dating austin butler.

crazy enough, you'd never eaten in public with austin. no fancy dinner or lunch dates, maybe an occasional date at a cafe, but you'd usually just get a drink and nothing else. you refused to eat in public, it was a genuine fear that you had.

"you still with me?"

you looked at him through the mirror, going back to applying your eyeliner. "yeah, sorry."

dress shopping was rough on you, especially knowing someone could easily photograph you trying on unflattering dresses and dresses that were a bit too small on you. you'd gone through five dresses already and you ended up hating them all, it was frustrating. you wished he didn't have plans on taking you out to dinner tonight cause it definitely would have made shopping a little easier.

"austin, i don't like any of these." you said through the dressing room door. "and the last one you gave me didn't even fit, it's embarrassing."

"hold on, i'm still lookin'" he went through another rack, lips perking up at a red dress that was just your size, perfect for valentine's day. "try this one on." he tossed it over the door and stood by the wall, waiting for you to come out.

the dress did fit and you were surpised at how good it looked on you, smiling softly at your appearance in the mirror. you walked out of the stall, showing it off to austin. "what do you think?"

"oh baby," he whistled and motioned for you to turn around, giving him a show. "i'd have you right here in this store if i could." your cheeks warmed up at his words, feeling your self esteem get a nice boost. "you're buyin' that one. can't wait to show you off tonight."

those words kept lingering in your brain, how he was going to show you off. it scared you slightly. you had no issue being photographed with austin, although annoying at times cause y'know...privacy. but why were you suddenly so bothered by it? you refused to bring it up to austin. you know he worked hard to get these reservations and you didn't want to ruin his plans for you.

on the way to the restaurant, you felt yourself get even more nervous, anxiety bubbling up in your chest. you really didn't want to do this. austin would understand completely, but maybe you'll push through just for him.

unfortunately, you were seated directly across from a window, perfect for someone to snap photos of the two of you. the restaurant was also filled, which didn't help at all. "i told 'em to put us in the corner." he sighed, looking over at the window. "i think we'll be alright though."

he'll be alright, but you? who knows. you just smiled and nodded, looking down at the menu and looking for something not messy, something that wouldn't have people questioning your eating habits the next day.

everything on the menu worried you, there was no safe option and you were definitely going to be laughed at on social media no matter what you ordered. you gave up and went with a pasta.

you weren't giving much to the conversation, just nodding along and taking sips from your wine. austin could tell something was off and you knew. "you alright?" before you could answer, the food was brought out and you looked down at it, questioning whether or not you should eat it or take it to go. "y/n?" he knew the moment you looked up at him.

you really tried not to cry or even tear up, it was all just frustrating for you. you wanted to eat the pasta in front of you, but your brain wouldn't stop giving you all these scenarios of what people would think of you.

austin pushed plate over to your side and stood up. "scoot over."

"what are you doing?" you asked, looking up at him.

"just-" he gestured with his hands for you to move. you moved your plate to the side along with your body as he sat beside you, shielding you away from the people there. it was a little awkward having you two sit on the same side, but it was kind of sweet. "will you eat a little bit? just for me?"

you looked at him then back down at your food, picking up the fork and taking a bite from it, covering your mouth with your hand anytime you chewed just out of habit. you could tell it made austin slightly sad, but he was just happy to see you eat.

he decided against dessert which made you feel slightly bad. "are you sure you don't want dessert?" you frowned.

he placed a hand on your lap. "i have something at home."

you only ate half of your food, too anxious to eat but well enough to eat enough to make austin happy. you'll eat the rest for breakfast tomorrow, anyway.

his hand didn't leave your thigh on the whole ride home, occasionally squeezing it and caressing your soft, delicate skin.

"i'm sorry." you muttered.

"for what?"

you looked down at your lap, watching how austin's hand gripped at your thigh. "ruining dinner."

"you didn't ruin dinner." he sighed. "i'm just happy you ate. i'm proud of you, baby."

you gave him a warm smile, but there was still that slight feeling of dread for ruining dinner.

the moment you got home, you put your leftovers in the fridge. as you turned around, you were met with austin leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed as his arms darted up and down your body. "austin i-"

"don't." he walked over to you, wrapping his arms around your waist. "i wish you could see yourself the way i see you."

"oh, austin...." you rolled your eyes.

"listen to me." he moved his arms to cup your face, "you're gorgeous. you're the most beautiful human being i've ever laid eyes on. you have no idea how bad i wanted to rip that dress off of you and take you right there in front of everyone to see."

your cheeks got hot, a familiar sense of warmth running through your body.

"gonna fuck all of those nasty, little thoughts out of that head of yours. i promise you." he growled, crashing his lips onto yours. he caught you off guard, stumbling and having your back meet the fridge. your hands cupped at his jaw, letting his tongue slip through your mouth. his hands traveled all over your body, stopping at your breasts as he squeezed them through your dress. "love your tits so much." he muttered in between kisses.

you felt him hard against your thigh, only making you crave him even more. "fuck, austin-" you gasped.

you moved your hand to give him some pressure, only for him to slap your wrist away. "don't worry about me baby, let's focus on you." he pulled away from you slightly to bend down and hook his hands under your thick thighs. you let out a slight yelp as he lifted you up and brought you to the other side of the kitchen, slamming your back against the wall as he continued to explore your mouth, tasting the sweet, wine still on your lips from dinner.

you tried to pull yourself down, pulling away from his lips. "i'm too-"

"shut up." he met your lips again, coaxing you out of your thoughts once again. he began hiking up your dress to just above your dripping, wet cunt, tsking at the lack of underwear. he pulled the zip down of his dress pants, pulling himself out of his underwear and finally freeing his hard cock, glistening with precum as he wrapped his hand around himself, moving his fist up and down a few times. "see what you to do me? fuck."

you wrapped your legs tightly around his waist as your arms went to neck. "oh my god, fuck me. please." you begged.

he wasted no time and eagerly inserted himself into you, throwing his head back at the warm, right feeling around him. "feelin' so good around my cock, baby. keep those legs around me." he slammed in and out of you, watching as your breasts bounced along with his thrusts, the straps of your dress slipping with every move of his hips. "love this body of yours baby, takes me so fucking well. can never stop thinkin' about you."

there was something about knowing how you made austin feel, all of your insecurities from before suddenly feeling pointless. you wanted to appreciate your body more, after all, austin loved it therefore you should love it too. you were always so amazed at how much he loved your body, how he explored every part of it during sex, squeezing and kissing in all the right places. and now being fucked against the wall, his strong arms holding you tightly against it as he groaned into your neck, praises leaving his mouth left and right, you couldn't have asked for anyone better.

"oh my god, austin. austin, austin, austin." you moaned, throwing your head back as he hit your sweet spot.

"yeah, say my name baby." he slammed a hand against the wall as he moved his hips faster, nipping and kissing at your neck. "god, you were made just for me."

the sounds coming from the both of you were pornograpic, the sounds of your moans and juices filling the entire kitchen. you felt yourself getting closer, your orgasm bubbling inside you quickly. he knows it as he feels you flutter around his cock, earning a grunt from him as his own climax was approaching. "oh my pretty baby, love you so fuckin' much."

"aus, i'm gonna-" you whimpered.

"me too, c'mon. gonna fill you right up." his thrusts began to stutter, slowing down as his orgasm hit, moaning as he felt your walls clench right around him. "that's right, so perfect for me, good lord." he panted.

he kissed you again, pulling away and touching your forehead with his as the two of you caught your breaths. "marry me." he said breathlessly.

your eyes widened. "what?"

he let out a breathy laugh. "you heard me."

you didn't know what to say. there was so much to take in. he still had you pinned up against the wall, his cock was still inside you and he just came inside of you, now suddenly you're being proposed to. you let out a laugh, "i can't believe you just proposed to me with your dick still inside of me."

"still waiting for that answer."

you hummed, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. "let's do it."

taglist: @flwrs4aust @father-of-2cats @ellie-24 @dilfelvis @shantellescrivener @orngdrv @pennyroyalcreep @18lkpeters @purejasmine @ranaissinglw

#austin x reader #the gif makes me giggle

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actualbird · 1 year

Note

this sounds rly weird to say but stick with me - i wish luke would get ill in canon. obviously he has a terminal illness which would weaken his immune system and while it’s great he’s physically fit i mean SURELY he’s way more susceptible to getting seriously ill from a cold/the flu, right?? idk i think i just want to see him being taken care of bc he deserves it but also i do like the idea of him being taken care of by the nxx and them looking out for him when he gets seriously ill from a virus/bug etc etc

i got this ask Before main story 9 dropped but only after did i wanna answer it because i totally feel u.....

i feel like tot doesnt let luke get smaller ails in canon because hes already dealing With The Big One Thats Killing Him (any more wld be overkill?). and though it's also true that neurological conditions dont necessarily always affect the immune system, it's still a dang shame cuz like u, i'd adore a story where it's the others taking care of him when hes down with a bad case of the flu....and given recent main story events, i reALLY WOULD LIKE TO SEE THE TEAM HELP LUKE WITH A LOW-STAKES AIL :(((

in true luke fashion, he'd probably keep it under wraps and make excuses until his absence at an nxx meeting cannot be ignored and they crash his apartment to see him in a MISERABLE little pile of blankets trying to remedy this by himself

mc: why didnt you tell us!!!! >:O

luke: it's not a big deal :( it's just the flu and already called aaron for doctor's advice and meds and everything, i can take care of myself

vyn: have you been hydrating?

luke, nervously: ..............yyyyyes?

artem, looking in his fridge: theres nothing in here but peanut's treats, what have you been feeding yourself?

luke, still nervously: ffffood?

marius, finding a pack of sliced bread near his bed: dude, have you just been eating bread???

luke, increasingly nervously because hes fighting for his life out here: i cant stomach anything else for some reason!!!

mc: uh huhhhh, you seem to be doing a Great job at taking care of this yourself :/

luke: ;-;

cue the team helping out: helping in cleaning the place up (when luke is miserable his place gets even Messier), cooking simple foods (artem's soup to the rescue), etc etc. luke would be So apologetic during the whole thing, constantly apologizing for being a bother, which is both depressing and grating to hear. mc almost wants to take two piece of sliced bread and sandwich luke's face in them to tell him "STOP SAYING SORRY!!!" but she knows thatll probably make him feel worse, so she restrains herself

for all luke's apologizing, he does feel better with the team helping out. but then he feels bad about feeling better (because HOW DARE HE....AFTER HE INCONVENIENCED THEM ALL!!!) and it's this terrible ouroboros of shame

eventually, mc sends the other boys out on a grocery run to help stock luke's fridge with fruits and other good snacks-for-sick-person, and alone in luke's apartment she sits next to him.

mc: hey, tell me the truth. you knew you were doing a cruddy job at looking after yourself, you knew you shouldve asked for help. why didnt you?

luke: ...i dont...like it...i dont like you or the others seeing me like this

mc: pathetic?

luke: i mean, yeah. but i meant....sick. i dont like you guys seeing me sick. because of, yknow.....being sick and useless and helpless, it feels like a prelude, and everyone else is burdened picking up the pieces around me.

mc: oh

luke: yeah

mc: hm. youre an idiot

luke: ????

mc: i cant speak for the others, but i can tell you that i surely dont mind seeing you like this if it means i can help. dont you always tell me to rely on you more? how about you return the favor, luke. let us help, sometimes. let me help.

and we all know shes way too good at setting up a winning argument.

by the time the others get back, luke is a more cooperative patient and a less-apologetic one. in the back of his mind, he figures it cant hurt to let himself feel okay getting help every once in a while.

#tears of themis #if theres no comfort in main story then homemade is fine...#luke pearce #tot rosa #asks #anon #tot luke #xia yan

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poppyandzena · 4 months

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Poppy: "Spawn is an adult you guys, you need to stop treating saying I'm doing child abuse because they were an adult." Also Poppy: "Anyways yes we had a schedule for Spawn. People with ADHD work best with schedules, this is proven!! Spawn just couldn't complete it cause they were dicking around." As someone with ADHD, while schedules can help, it's not the end all, be all. I would say most of all it requires some flexibility and understanding. Poppy insists that schedules are proven to help people with ADHD, therefore it's good that they forced a schedule onto Spawn, and yet even when they talk about it they talk about how the schedule didn't work for Spawn and... well, blame Spawn for it not working. Almost as if they have disabilities that make their life a bit harder to keep to a schedule or something 乁( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ㄏ When I was a child, my 'schedule' for the day was basically this: school, come home and do homework, do three chores (written down on the fridge for me to complete because I legit couldn't remember when I was verbally told what chores to do the night before), and after that I was able to do whatever I wanted. I don't think regimented schedules help someone with ADHD, I think having certain things scheduled (such as a few chores, homework since it was important for school, etc) while also allowing for downtime is the best way to go. Even as an adult, there are certain things I try to keep to a schedule (certain days dedicated for chores, all bill due dates are written on a calendar and checked off as the month goes on, specific errands like groceries) but I also understand that some days I'm gonna wake up, have a bad brain day where I can't really do everything I want to do (and sometimes I can only really do one big thing a day), and I give myself the grace and understanding while also keeping in mind what is most important to get done. It's a balancing act. It's delicate. It's hard work. Every time I see the way Poppy talks about Spawn I just hope more and more that they're doing so much better without her... and I hope Poppy never gets to be in contact with them ever again.

I have ADHD and anxiety. Flexibility is best. I forget to eat more than I eat in general. My mental health improves when I'm given more control of my surroundings and my choices. My work gives me enough framework without dominating my life like I'm a sim without autonomy.

Us ADHD people work in what I call loopholes or cheats. I hate brushing my teeth so I brush my teeth in the shower to get it all done in one place. Or if I can't shower before I go to work, I have little disposable toothbrushes and sugar free gum in my desk. I hate the act of eating or preparing food. So instead of screwing myself over by making something I won't finish, I drink V8 100s since they're cheaper than the Naked brand and contain vegetables and fruits I wouldn't bother preparing on their own. I don't even own a bin for my food waste since I know I will procrastinate taking out the trash and stink up my home, so food waste is sent to the trash chute. I keep non-perishable snacks in reach so my blood sugar doesn't completely bottom out when I forget to eat.

Spawn is doing fine living without Zena and Poppy--not because they were "never disabled." They are very disabled. You know what disables you further? Having to do endless lists of labor that last for hours, sometimes without a working AC and little food in your body as your parents shame you for not "doing it quick enough." Being made to skip meals because you "missed your time." Having YOUR sports drinks consumed when you need those to keep your sodium up. Being barred from going to the bathroom for hours at a time. Being shamed for staying in your room but being screamed at by Zena for existing within ten feet of them. Having the internet cut off on purpose and then having to grovel to turn it back on when you need it to look for a job, as your parents bitch at you for not having a job.

#poppy #poppy and zena #zena and poppy #poppy diabolique #ladydiabolique #poppy & zena #zenaandpoppyonyoutube #zena #spawn

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redriotinggg · 7 months

Text

Mikans at Midnight

inspired by this post by @pinkcrittertomb <3

also posted on my ao3

Sanji exhales loudly as he collapses against the kitchen counter. He’s finally done deep cleaning the kitchen. For the millionth time since he began his task, he curses out Luffy, who somehow managed to get into the last dredges of syrup that Usopp brought back from his village and made a mess of both himself and the kitchen. Sanji and Usopp had swiftly doled out a proper punishment for the greedy captain that would likely do nothing to prevent such an event from happening again.

After hours of cleaning and meal prep, Sanji is positively exhausted and would love nothing more than to pass out in his bunk for a few hours of sleep before he has to wake up and make breakfast for the crew. However, he’ll have to wait for a bit longer because his work is still not finished.

Nami is on watch tonight and he has to bring her a snack to tide her over and he refuses to make her wait any longer than she has to. Sanji allows himself to rest for the length of time it takes for him to finish a cigarette before he gets back to work.

He hums to himself as he whips up some of her favourite snacks: a parfait with the mikans from her beloved tree, a batch of shortbread cookies with a vanilla glaze, a bowl of assorted fruit, and a pot of Earl Grey tea.

He smiles, thinking of Nami as he leaves the kitchen and heads to the crow’s nest. Sanji admires everyone on their minuscule crew (even that damned moss-brained swordsman, though he’d never admit it aloud), but Nami truly is something special. Not only is she beautiful beyond compare, but she is unbelievably intelligent, kind, headstrong, and resilient. He is honoured to be on the same crew as someone as amazing as she.

Sanji gets nervous and giddy around her as he does around most women, and he enjoys having her attention. But he’s been working hard on not making her uncomfortable after she told him that she dislikes his flirtatious advances. He would hate to make any woman feel unnerved by him, especially not one whom he considers a friend. He wants Nami to not only think of him as a crewmate and chef but as a friend and someone she can rely on. But Sanji knows that he has to earn that trust. And he will do so one snack at a time.

The smile falls off his face as he climbs the rigging to the nest and hears the sound of someone crying. He is quick to close the distance before he opens up the hatch and makes his way inside.

“Nami-swan, are you alright?”

“Oh, Sanji. I didn’t hear you coming.” The navigator is quick to turn away from him and wipe her eyes. “Thanks for the snack, you can just leave it there.”

When she turns back and sees Sanji sitting across from her and making no effort to leave, Nami resorts to anger. “I thought I told you to fuck off!”

Sanji takes her outburst in stride. “Forgive me, Nami-swan. I don’t mean to overstep, but I couldn’t possibly live with myself if I left you here alone knowing how upset you are. I’ll leave if you really want me to, but maybe I can lend an ear? I’ve been told I’m a good listener.”

Nami studies Sanji as she ponders his offer. The sight of her wet eyes and blotchy face breaks his heart.

“It’s just…” Nami begins tentatively. She glances at Sanji before looking away again, staring up at the stars. She tightens the blanket around her shoulders. “Cocoyashi is finally free. I’m free now. My years of having to work for Arlong are over. But that didn’t fix everything.” Tears begin to fall down her face once again.

“Belle-mere is still dead. Nojiko spent most of her life hating me, and now I’m here at sea and we can’t even work on becoming sisters again. I lost most of my childhood to those assholes who treated me however the fuck they wanted. No matter what I do now, I’ll never get that time back. All the things I did to survive… I can’t take them back.” She inhales shakily. “I’ve spent my whole life hating pirates and now I am one. Who am I now? I barely even recognize myself.”

Sanji pours some tea into the mug he brought and gently presses it into her hands, catching her eye as he speaks.

“I think that’s the best part of getting older,” he says quietly. “We live and learn and decide who we want to be. Take the things that serve you and leave the rest. You said it yourself: you’re free now. Free to choose who it is you want to be. It doesn’t matter how long it takes for you to find that out. You’ve got your whole life ahead of you. And it’ll be a long, happy life if I have anything to say about it,” Sanji vows. “I never would’ve seen myself becoming a pirate, either, but being on this crew? Well, it doesn’t seem so bad.”

They sit in silence for a little while before a harsh sob wracks Nami’s figure. “I miss her,” she weeps. “I miss my mom. Why did she have to die?”

Sanji opens up his arms and Nami falls onto him, sobbing into his chest. He takes the mug from her grip and holds her close, whispering assurances into her hair.

“I’m sorry all that happened to you. I wish I could take all that pain for myself,” he says.

“Regardless of what you may have done, I’m sure your mother and sister are proud of you. I’m sure they’re glad that you’re alive and doing what you want with your life. The pain may never go away, but it’s a reminder of the love between you all. You and Nojiko will always be sisters no matter how far apart you are.”

Nami squeezes him tightly as she continues to cry.

“Thank you, Sanji,” she says when her tears have subsided. She pulls herself out of the embrace, accepts the handkerchief the chef passes to her and dabs her eyes. “I’m glad you were here.”

“Of course, Nami. I won’t have all the answers, but I’ll always be willing to listen and do what I can.” Sanji pushes the tray of food closer to Nami. “Here, have something to eat.”

He removes the lid from the tray, looking at Nami in alarm when she lets out another quiet sob.

“Damn it, Sanji, are you trying to make me die from dehydration?” she snaps, though it lacks its usual heat. “Bringing me the food that reminds me of my mom when I’m missing her. You bastard.”

“Shit! I’m sorry, Nami-swan, let me go get something else for you!”

Nami stops him with a hand on his arm. “No, no. This is perfect. Thank you.”

Sanji lights up a cigarette and is quiet company while Nami eats her snacks. She finishes her parfait, half of the cookies, a cup of tea, and some of the fruit before she puts the lid back on the tray. Sanji opens his mouth to speak up but she beats him to it.

“I still have a couple of hours of watch left. I’ll eat the rest before my shift’s done, I promise.”

“Do you want me to take over for you?” Sanji offers.

“No way, you’re exhausted. You need some sleep. And I’m not in the mood to deal with a hungry Luffy first thing in the morning. I’ll be okay.”

When Sanji doesn’t immediately get up to leave, Nami sighs heavily and leans her head on his shoulder. “Ugh, I hate crying! Now my sinuses hurt.”

Sanji blinks past his surprise and wraps his arm around her shoulders as he tries to force down the blush radiating from his cheeks. “Y-yeah. I don’t know how that Long-nose does it so often.”

Nami chuckles. “Maybe the length of his nose helps somehow?”

Sanji hums thoughtfully. “Maybe. Either way, he’s a freak of nature,” he states, the both of them laughing quietly at the sniper's expense.

“Thank you for being here for me, Sanji,” Nami says when they’ve calmed. “I really appreciate it.”

“I’ll always be here for you, Nami,” Sanji promises. “If you ever need someone to talk to or something to eat, I’m here.”

“What if I need this?” Nami plucks the cigarette from Sanji’s lips and takes a drag before placing it back in his mouth. She cackles at the sight of his cherry-red face.

“I-I-I don’t think I can allow that, Nami-swan! You shouldn’t poison yourself with these things!” He tosses the cigarette overboard for good measure, even though he needs about ten more, right now.

“And neither should you,” Nami says stubbornly. She sits up and stretches, turning to Sanji with a contented smile. “I’m okay now, so get out of here and get some sleep! I won't forgive you if my breakfast isn't top-notch like usual.”

“Are you sure?” Sanji shrinks under the glare she sends his way. “Alright, alright, I’m gone. Have a good night, Nami-swan.”

Sanji is halfway down the rigging when Nami leans over the edge of the nest to call down to him. “Oh, and Sanji?”

“Yes, dear?”

The serene smile Nami sends his way almost sends Sanji tumbling down the rigging. “Belle-mere’s mikans taste best when you’ve made something with them.”

With that, Nami hides back in the nest, the sound of a pencil on paper disturbing the silence of the night.

Below, Sanji’s hands hold the rigging in a bruising grip while a goofy smile spreads on his face alongside a heated blush. He holds onto this feeling and memorizes it, storing it deep in his heart. He vows that he will do everything in his power to keep that smile on his navigator’s face.

#sanji #nami #black leg sanji #cat burglar nami #one piece #I LOVE THEM SO MUCH I WROTE THIS LIKE A WOMAN POSSESSED #i didn't even know how badly i was craving a sweet moment between these two until I started writing this so thank you #i hope you like it despite the cringe title #i will write more of them someday but pls accept my humble offering for now #red's writing

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thetravelerstale · 2 years

Text

Self Care Day ft. Scaramouche

Guess who actually took the time to treat themselves to a little at home spa night? I'm feeling proud of myself for once. Anyways the entire time I couldn't stop thinking about how cheesy it'd be for Scaramouche to actually partake in self care with his partner so have a very self indulgent boyfriend Scaramouche bothering you while you take care of yourself

You were extremely particular about your bedtime routine, it was the one thing in your life you seemed to be able to control and it helped you unwind after the particularly stressful days. Your boyfriend, the ever perfect Scaramouche, didn't seem to understand what was so great about smearing your face in junk only to wash it off later and spend an hour massaging your aching joints or soaking in a bubble bath. In fact, Scaramouche was so clueless he probably honestly wasn't sure if this was just a routine for yourself or some sort of ritual that happened to make you a less cranky person when he wakes you up in the morning. He's seen the person you are without your proper rest and let's just say there's little else that terrifies him after that one morning.

While you didn't force your crazy routine onto him, you did ask that he respect the fact that this was what made you feel good about yourself and it was one of the only coping mechanisms you had that was actually healthy. He agreed to not be rude about it when you moved in, and he's kept his word, not a single bad comment came from his mouth, most nights you'd catch him staring at you from the bed and you'd just wait for something, anything, but he'd just quietly return to the book he was reading. Tonight however, his curiosity got the best of him and you suddenly had a very cute shadow following you around the house as you prepared for your nightly self care time.

He was quiet as you put two towels in the dryer to warm them up, and followed you to the kitchen, his deep ocean eyes overflowing with curiosity as you grabbed some sunsettias and apples, cutting them up into slices before getting the chocolate and caramel dippings from the fridge and spooning some of each out over the fruit slices. You had an amused smile as you saw his hand slowly inching across the counter to your tray of snacks and you picked up an apple slice, holding to his mouth for him to eat, laughing softly as his cheeks reddened before he ate the treat.

While he did eat it, his nose scrunched up and he stuck his tongue out. "Too sweet," he says and begins brewing his nightly tea, the more bitter the better in his opinion, he'll leave the sweets to you. Once you had finished your snack, you headed to the bathroom to start your bath, expecting Scaramouche to just go to the bedroom and read until you were ready for bed. You found it kind of cute how he couldn't fall asleep until you were with him, once he has said that it was the other way around but you knew he couldn't relax until you were holding him. A sudden knock brought you out of your thoughts. "Uh Scara use the other bathroom." You called out as you had just settled into the boiling hot water.

"Are you in the tub already?" He asked from the other side which caught you if gaurd.

"Yeah?" It sounded more like a question, he smiled and let himself into the bathroom, a steaming cup of tea in one hand and his latest book tucked under his arm as he came and sat beside the tub, smiling. He didn't say anything as he set his cup beside him, back towards you and he started reading, from the angle you were at, you could easily read over his shoulder. "Scara."

He simply hummed in aknowledgement, bringing his cup to his lips without looking from his book.

"What are you doing?"

"Reading," he says but you can see part of a grin on his face if you leaned forward enough.

"I meant what are you doing in here?"

"Observing, am I disturbing you? I can leave if it's a problem." He hadn't looked away from his book but you can tell his attention was on you.

You just smiled, reaching out and patting his head, laughing at how he tried to swat it away before you could get him wet. You soaked in the tub, closing your eyes after a moment and just listened to the sound of pages being flipped, the occasional snort or hum from Scara as he found something funny or mildly interesting. You had figured out a while ago that Scaramouche read just about any book he could get his hands on, he wasn't all that interested in a particular genre and once even admitted that he could care less for a story's plot, he just read because it was another form of observation to him. He liked seeing into people's minds, finding out their personality, what made them tick, he was strange like that but overtime you found it endearing, especially when someone did something that contradicted their goals or went against their morals. Scaramouche would lose his shit over it and you couldn't help but find it funny.

"You're not asleep in there are you?" His voice was teasing, you could hear the grin on his face.

"No, just relaxing," you open your eyes to find him suddenly turned towards you, book presumably on the floor as he had one hand outstretched to your face as if he was about to touch you. He froze, cheeks burning bright red at being caught.

"I uh..." he looked away quickly, eyes scanning the room in an attempt to find some excuse. "I should... Go... Get your towels. R-right! You're about to get out anyhow.. I-I'll be back." He was quick to leave the bathroom and you couldn't help but laugh at how cute he was when he got flustered like that. You sat up, getting ready to leave the now lukewarm water, rinsing the soap off of you before there was another knock. "I have your towels... Um, j-just come to the door and I'll hand them to you when you're out."

What a gentleman, you thought before draining the tub and carefully stepping out, opening the door just enough for him to shove the towels into your hands before shutting the door again. You wrapped one towel around your head and proceeded drying off with the other before putting on your pajamas. Once you left the bathroom, Scaramouche grabbed his book and tea and headed back to the kitchen to make himself another cup.

You headed to the bedroom and into your little corner where all your creams, oils and face masks were and begun your skincare routine. You heard the door open and watched in the mirror as Scaramouche headed to his side of the room, setting his fresh cup of tea down on his bedside table along with his book before heading to his closet to change. You took a few peaks at him in-between putting stuff on your face but thankfully he didn't notice. Once done he grabbed his cup and dragged his chair over to your corner and sat down, deep blue eyes scanning the contents of your table with interest. He didn't really understand what any of this stuff was for as he naturally had seemingly flawless skin, however.

"Can I try?" He asked, setting his cup down on the only free spot he could find and pointed at the moisturizer you were currently rubbing into your skin.

"You don't really need it though, and it's all crazy expensive so I don't wanna waste it." You hadn't intended to sound so stingy, but one glance at his face showed you had hurt his feelings. You sighed, here he was taking a genuine interest in something you found comfort in and you just told him you didn't want to waste the product like it was your life savings on the line. He hadn't said anything, just sipping his tea and watching, maybe he understood the logic in your statement, but that didn't make you feel like any less of an asshole for being so rude.

"How about instead of this, you can try the lotion? It does pretty much the same thing but it also helps with aching joints," you offered the bottle to him and his expression brightened once more as he put a tiny amount on his hands and began rubbing it into his elbows and shoulders. "It doesn't work right away but trust me you'll feel it in the morning." You smiled as he looked at the other things you had laid out. "This stuff is for my hair, if you want, I can put some in yours?"

"You don't mind?" He asked, just wanting to make sure he wouldn't be wasting anything.

"Yeah, come on we can do this on the bed!" You were excited now as you gathered your things and a brush and sat on the bed. "Here, sit in front of me and I'll do the rest." He say as told, grabbing his book and read while you put stuff in his hair. Some of it made him scrunch his nose up, the smell wasn't all that appealing. How had he never noticed this stuff in your hair? As you began brushing his hair, he felt strangely relaxed. Shoulders sagging, he leaned back slightly closing his eyes and just enjoyed the moment. He almost wished he had never cut his hair now since it didn't take long for you to brush his hair out.

"Wait... Could you keep doing that?" He asked after you had set the brush the down. You looked at him confused.

"But I got all the tangles out."

"I know just... it felt nice."

You smiled and got the idea, leaning forward enough to kiss his cheek, ruffled his hair a little. "Sure, just let me put up this stuff." You put your things away and got comfy on the bed once more, laying down now and Scaramouche instantly cuddled into you. You ran your fingers through his hair and he hummed, closing his eyes.

"I think I understand what you meant by all that stuff making you feel good about yourself now. It made me feel good too." He smiled and looked up at you, "Think I can join you again tomorrow?"

"Of course, it was fun having you there." You lightly scratched his head almost like he was a cat and he just melted into your touch, closing his eyes once more, only this time, he drifted off to sleep.

#genshin impact #scaramouche #genshin scara #scara x reader #comfort #self care

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pleb-the-original · 5 months

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(So my laptop says its Bat Appreciation Day so I was inspired to write a little something. This is Nipha the plague demon.) Spillover

You'd think with how much time I spend in India I'd get to know the place more, but I always find myself in the same spots over and over again. Always a fruit tree, sometimes mango, sometimes bananas, the occasional palm. I peek through the thick leaves at the banana bunch I've been keeping watch of. Perfectly ripe and yellow, just in time for the harvest season. My eyes slowly trickle down to the whole reason I'm here. One banana; freshly nibbled. I can still smell the bat that decided to snack on this one. A strong carrier, its scent is palpable yet barely different from mine. It takes a trained nose to notice the subtle differences in the smell of nipah. Mine smells older, more worn and aged like a fine cheese. This bat was clearly recently infected. It's smell is stronger and more distinct, akin to the normal ripe smell of the fruit that it has latched on to. Lost in thought for just a moment, I catch myself reaching out to the banana. My consciousness returns as I pull my paw back. I look away, their beautiful yellow is too tempting. I can just feel the delicious mush in my mouth as I try to hold back. I have a job to do. Snack time would have to be later. I can't compromise this. Luckily, it seems I don't have to wait much longer. My ears perk up, a rustling in the trees. I float up into the air above the tree to see if I can catch a glimpse of them. My wings jitter for just a moment as I catch a glimpse of them. A couple humans; teens at that. Perfect. They're talking amongst themselves. It seems they broke into this orchard. As if my job couldn't get any easier. My ears flick with the crunch of each leaf underneath their feet. Finally, they stop at my tree. I lower myself down to their level and hover halfway inside of a leaf. Their appetite is almost as palpable as mine. The leader, every group of teens always has one, reaches out for a banana. Wait, that's the wrong one. A small burst of blue sparks bursts from my hand as I wave it to the right. A gust of wind spins the tree just as the kid was about to ruin everything. He steps back. His face contorts as the bananas spin for just a moment. Then he sees it. My ticket to another job done. I can see him reaching for it, the hunger just about overriding his brief bout of confusion. He plucks it straight from the tree with barely a glance. He doesn't look at the peel long enough to see the small bite mark hidden from his gaze. Now, I don't know about other demons. But for me personally? There's nothing more satisfying that seeing a human as they write their own doomed fate. His satisfaction in the delicious treat rivals mine as I witness the disease work its way into his blood. I reach a hand out, letting the sickly green of my magic flow out. It coalesces deep inside the kid as I start to smell him reeking of that very scent that I share. He throws the peel on the ground laughing with satisfaction. A few of the other kids start grabbing the bananas but I pay no mind to them. My prize starts walking off. At this point I should be following him, helping the nipah fester and spread. But I stay back. After the other kids finally catch up to him, I make myself solid again. I deserve a treat for a job well done. I pluck another perfectly yellow banana from the tree. I don't even bother peeling it, the skin adds extra texture for my fangs. The pristine sweetness of the banana oozes its way into my fetid mouth. My blackened tongue coats itself in the mush as stand there reveling. My job is far from complete, but I've never been against celebrating early.

#writing #creative writing #writeblr #demon #bat appreciation day #oc

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cottoncandyopinions · 3 months

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I remember when I was a kid, this is around when I was 8-10 years old, my parents would ban me from eating the things I liked because they thought that would make me eat less, and ultimately make me skinny.

But that kept backfiring. I was a kid that, with a few exceptions, just really liked food. Green veggies weren't an issue, asparagus and green beans were outright treats for me. I adored fruit and would reach for it before candy and sweets.

So like, they just kept paring down my "permitted" meals to be less and less appealing. "You can't have bread on your sandwiches anymore, use these healthy wraps with veggies" and I would fall in love with the spinach and sundried tomato flavored wraps.

"No mayo or mustard, you can use oil and vinegar" and I proceeded to do that happily because I liked the sour taste of vinegar.

"You can only use one thin sliced piece of meat, the rest has to be veggies" and I had no problem making my wrap essentially a salad wrap with a little vinegar and the meat permitted to me.

"No more meat. No more oil and vinegar. You can only put beansprouts and a spoon of hummus in your wraps." I think they were sure I would hate hummus, but I actually ended up loving it. I wasn't huge on the beansprouts, but I still had hummus and the wrap I liked, and I didn't dislike them any more than cabbage.

After that didn't work, they made the size of wrap I was allowed to bring smaller and smaller and smaller. I remember looking at other kids during lunch, with my quarter of a beansprout wrap and little bottle of water, while my peers ate full lunches. I wasn't allowed to bring a piece of fruit, too much sugar.

Just the way it weighs on you sitting there, eating barely anything, knowing I wouldn't get a snack after school like my peers did, that this is all I had to eat til dinner, when my parents would serve me a plate that matches the amount of food I gave preschoolers for lunch when I worked with kids... And being able to see that I'm the fat kid, I'm bigger than anyone else here... But I'm also the kid that had never had a little Debbie cake, that never had snacks, never allowed to drink anything but water. And I felt like my parents must be right. I mean, I was always hungry! Clearly that means I was a fat pig and this was for my own good!

It wasn't long after that they told me that eating lunch at all was bad for me, that I'm already too big so I should just skip it.

I couldn't get away from how different I was from everyone else. I remember getting to hang out at a friend's house and the ordered food, and they asked my (8 y/o) friend what they'd like to get from the restaurant. That was shocking enough, but then they asked *me.* My father didn't start allowing me to pick my own meals til I was 16 years old, and even then if I didn't pick something he approved of he would still pick for me anyway.

They never took me to the doctor over this. To find out why I was the fat kid despite obediently under eating. They waited until I was 14 and started yelling at me to get it checked out. They would never tell me insurance info so I could find someone to go to though. I was clearly "adult enough" by then so I guess I was supposed to just know what to do and who to call by then.

I guess that's a lie, that I obediently underate. I did but mostly because that's the only option I had. I felt like it was my fault I hadn't made any progress? Why? Because when the church they sent me to had a pizza party, I ate so much so fast that I vomited. And then I went back out to eat more because these chances were rare. I didn't know that this was normal behavior for a kid being treated like I was, once again I thought it justified my parents, that I was a fat uncontrollable cow unless they intervened.

Every time I was in an environment where I was offered food, I overate to the point of making myself sick. Of course, no one worried or thought it was weird. I mean. I was the fat kid right? Of course I had no self control.

If I'm honest, I believed them totally and completely until an experience I had when I was 15. I got into a free academic summer program where I got to stay on a local college campus during the summer with other kids my age.

The meals were all buffet style, all you can eat, and I wouldn't even see my parents for weeks. On top of that, it was very active with a lot of walking, so I'd be using more energy too.

So I ate a lot. I made myself sick the first night, like I usually do. But despite that, there was just as much breakfast the next morning. And just as much lunch. And just as much dinner.

I still had to fight off my shame. Even when I calmed down and stopped making myself sick, and ate only til I was full, it was double if not 3x what my parents would permit me to eat. I felt disgusting every meal, but that primal part of my brain that knew it wouldn't last still pushed me to eat my fill.

At the end of that summer, for the first time in my life, despite being left fully to my own devices with no guidance on my eating habits, I'd lost weight.

And that's when it dawned on me. Years and years of feeling constantly hungry. Constantly exhausted. Using the energy I had to get good grades at school then crashing afterwards. Wondering why I never felt good. And then all of that going away within a week of being away from them and eating what I wanted.

That started to open my eyes to the fact that they'd been wrong. That what they'd been telling me to do wasn't good for my body.

It feels terrible to say, but after that I started stealing money from my father. He kept a lot of cash on him, would just have 800 bucks in his pocket. So I'd slip a 10 or 20 here and there. I'd skip class and walk down to the dollar store, stock up on shelf stable foods, then hide them in my room at home.

I'm not pretending that saltines, peanut butter, and canned ravioli were good things to be so prominent in my diet, but I did feel so much better once I started doing that.

It's silly to make this post. I saw something on twitter where people were being weird about kids asking for food, and I kinda went on a journey.

I've never really met anyone who's upbringing around food was like mine. That's a good thing, it's an awful thing to do to a kid.

But it does feel very lonely.

#Fatphobia #Trauma #Child abuse #Vent #Eating disorder

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