#two hours later because I didn't schedule because of the split

[sunnymoonxx]

❝what was rule number #2 again❞ I.| bucky barnes x reader

pairing: tfatws bucky x reader summary: messing around in banner's lab, the night before your mission wasn't as good an idea as you thought, and you begin to question your actions the moment you step out of it. things worsen when you realize the super soldier serum isn't immune to an unknown contagious disease. warnings: sex pollen, no warnings this part, the II one? hahaha

a/n: I may have insulted the reader a few times in the beginning, so I apologize for that. but let's be honest, we'd do the same. I decided to split this fic into two parts because if I wrote it all into one part, it'd have 10k words. I'm not an english native speaker, so forgive me my sins and bad grammar if you find something.

m.list

You weren't stupid. But you also weren't exactly smart. If you were, you would've minded your own business, stayed in the gym, and went through the plan for tomorrow's mission. Maybe even go to bed a little sooner, to be ready for the next day's alarm. But Banner was away for a business trip, and seeing his lab silent and alone didn't exactly sing you lullabies to sleep. That's why you found yourself standing in the heart of it at 3 a.m., in your pajamas, praying everyone was asleep. It was well known around the compound that Banner's and Stark's labs were a faraway island, and anybody with a brain would circle around them. But you were an excellent swimmer and sharks didn't scare you.

10 hours later, you realised why Banner turned green every time someone even glared the glass door of his science play room. You were a fast swimmer but not exactly a bright one. The only bright thing related to you was that you were easily struck by it. And the glowing pink flowers in Doc's terrarium took you down faster than the sharks. It was bright pink with purple shadows. It reminded you of passionflower, but it was bigger. Way bigger, and you weren't sure if you were hallucinating, but the feeling of the flower's filaments moving was too strong. They were moving in waves, then circles, then each moved in its own way. It was mesmerising.

It was too late before you realized you moved the flower out of its enclosure to get a closer look at it. The smell hit you hard, filling your brain with colorful fog. You smelled a dash of cinnamon, mixed with ginger and lavender. You couldn't miss the powerful vanilla and pumpkin filling up the room. You didn't realize how bad the consequences of smelling Doc's flower would be until you came undone under your fingers nearly seven times. And it still wasn't enough. The scheduled time of your and Barnes' meeting was quickly approaching, and your skin didn't feel less on fire than it did two hours ago.

You managed to get out of the sweaty mattress and put some clothes on you, loose ones, hoping that your skin could breathe a little. You prayed some air would cool you down, clear your head, and slap some sense into you. It was now obvious why Banner was so determined not to let anyone close his lab. He was experimenting with aphrodisiacs, and you, unwillingly, became one of his lab rats. Thoughts didn't stop multiplying in your head until one landed steadily on its feet. Tony has been visiting Doc's labs the last few weeks, five minutes on the dot after curfew. You knew because you were always stationed on your balcony, which gave you a clear view of the other building, and its glass windows didn't hide much. It only became pitch black when Tony came in, and Banner didn't even flinch when he heard the door shut.

Chuckle left your lips when you connected the dots, ignoring how amusing you must look for Barnes, sitting right next to him.

"Something funny?" he asked, not dropping his gaze off of you. You were now on your way to the target's last seen place, being lucky enough to get a ride in Tony's self-driven car. You wanted to drown him in kisses because you can only imagine the suffering if you had to walk all the way from the compound to the other side of the city. Your skin was still on fire, your hair was sticking to your neck, and salty drops chased each other on your skin. You certainly were an amusing sight to Bucky. Or a terrifying one. You wished he got used to it by now. After all these years of fighting against each other, then with each other, and now forced to fight by each other's side, he saw you through worse conditions. But as far as he knew, you were locked in your room all week. You had no reason to look like you had an early meeting with the reaper.

"Just, thinking," you mumbled back at him, forcing yourself to keep your head rested against your seat, begging your body to not betray you for looking back at your partner. Your body fighting the chemicals in your body, you could only imagine how it would end if you stared at Barnes for more than five seconds. Worse, let alone if you touched him. You read about aphrodisiacs and scientists' failed attempts to know what you were going through. You were prepared to die before touching Barnes.

You were secretly jealous. It wasn't fair of you, but Barnes' serum running through his veins protected him from anything related. You almost abandoned your morals, but the pain you were going through justified it. You had no idea how you were going to focus on the mission, communicate with James, and, if it came to it, fight the target. You could only focus on the heat between your legs and how touch-starved you were. And your, undeniably, attractive coworker wasn't helping the case.

You and James had a complicated history. Both born in the 40s and dated for a while before he fell from the train. Years later, he comes to kill you for Howard's successful experiment on you. Immortality would definitely suit HYDRA and their planned assassinations. James, back then, the Winter Soldier, failed to capture you, so they decided your family's fate. And your friends. Then, years later, Howard's. You forgave him. All of it. Because you knew it wasn't him. But when he came back from Wakanda, with no traces of HYDRA in him, and didn't spare you a glance, you couldn't forgive him that. Seventy years of tolerating the actions HYDRA made him do, and he couldn't even look at you. It broke your heart but rather to act like a cunt than a weepy baby, begging for attention that will never come.

"Well then, do it fast. We're almost there." You hear his grumpy voice, making the butterflies in your stomach double their count. The decades-old memories of you together overwhelmed your brain like a tsunami. You couldn't swim out of that. The way his tongue circled your clit as you played with his hair at the theatre restroom. Or when he made you ride his face with Steve in the house. The way he pounded into you against the wall so you wouldn't forget him when he gets shipped out the next morning. And the way he had to cover your mouth that night at the bar, celebrating his unit's rescue. Now he was sitting millimetres away from you, and he wouldn't have done any of it. You still hoped, subconsciously, he'd dick you down like he did all those years ago. But that was a fantasy. Very vivid, real fantasy.

"Yes, sir," you let out, closing your eyes, tugging on your shirt so your fingers wouldn't accidentally slip in between your thighs. You didn't wanna make a scene. Even tho at some point, you knew you would.

You didn't catch James' hungry gaze when he heard those words slip from your mouth. At the back of his head, he reminiscent the amount of times it was him, slipping out of it.

It took you exactly 17 minutes before you got yourself out of Tony's car. You accidentally grinded yourself on his leather seats, causing you to accidentally moan, and of course, Barnes caught it. He'd never miss that sweet sound leaving your lips. At nights, he wished he'd made you sound like that, even louder. But that was ages ago, and you were over him. It was the only thing that made sense to him.

Five minutes into your romantic stroll to the target's office, the wetness in your panties got worse. You figured the more you moved, the less it hurt, but the pleasure doubled. And the Avengers training lessons didn't exactly cover how to act if you're orgasming every five seconds just because your thighs rubbed against each other.

Correction, you didn't actually cum. It was more of a frustrating edging that made you wanna rip out your hair. You were sure Barnes had already figured something was off or had at least suspected something. The suppressed moans and the tugging on your crotch weren't exactly subtle.

"Alright," he stopped walking, a few meters away from a huge building. It was surrounded by a deep forest, straight from a horror movie. "he was last seen inside. If Steve's correct, we should..." You kept nodding, not actually paying attention to what he was saying. It was the way his metal arm moved when he talked and the way his fingers curled while explaining the plan. You never got the answer to your question if he could feel through his amputated arm. He had to, you thought. You heard him groan every time someone pulled it too hard. You were embarrassed how much it roused you when you heard him whimper in pain, but it was also one of the things that circled your head when you were alone in your room.

You'd imagine, would it feel different. It would definitely be cold, rougher, you suspected faster. And with the serum running in his veins, he'd definitely last longer. That, you were one hundred percent sure, for it was Natasha's moans you heard for over two days after she and Steve finally hit it off. But Nat was also a super soldier. Bucky would probably tire you out by the 2nd round. But you were willing to risk it.

"If you're not gonna be listening to me, then you can turn around and go back." Was the first thing you heard after you forced yourself out of Bucky's hand around your throat fantasies. It probably wasn't the best idea, but seeing Bucky frustrated and annoyed by your incompetence made you feel things. And you wanted more.

"Whatever you want, Sergeant." You smirked, walking past him towards the building. His smell punched you in the face, making your walls clench around nothing. Fuck. Your self-control was harder to put in check. You were sure in a few minutes it'd be non-existent.

"Whatever is your problem today," you heard him behind you. You didn't look at him, focusing on keeping a steady pace towards the building so you could finish the job, get home where you could fuck yourself to oblivion. No one, but your fingers were currently available. And even they couldn't sometimes do the job you needed. But you knew whose would.

"I'm talking to you." Your heart dropped when his hand landed on your shoulder. Your skin got warmer again, and the pulse between your legs was impossible to ignore. You didn't know if you wanted to kill him or fuck him.

Ideally, both.

Turning around, you found the strength to twist his arm, finding out it was his human one, making it easier to push him back. He looked so taken back that it was amusing. But not amusing enough to stop the aching of your cunt.

"Touch me again," and I won't answer for the consequences. You wanted to add. But you didn't. Instead, you stared back at him, praying to god you'd drop dead or something would happen to stop the throbbing pain. You wanted to push your pants down and do something about it, but Bucky's presence wouldn't let you. It would, seventy years ago.

God, the number of times he made you rub yourself in front of him, fuck yourself while he watched. Couldn't he do it now? You'd happily obey.

"You've been acting distant ever since morning," he said, taking a step closer. "I just wanna know what's wrong," he said, lowering his voice at the end. You were sure it was just the stupid plant making you see things, but Bucky's dark eyes were hard to miss. Or the sweat on his forehead. Or the way he clenched his jaw when his eyes dropped to your lips.

Your heart sank. Holy fuck.

You couldn't help but laugh. It was, after all, comical. You looked manic but that didn't bother you. You felt so many emotions at once that you struggled to choose one.

"What the hell are you doing," you heard his voice interrupt your laugh. You were out of your mind. Your legs weak and sweaty, your cunt covered in your wetness, your head filled with migraine, skin on fire, and thoughts surrounding only one thing. And now, cherry on top, you realize Banner discovered an aphrodisiacs that make the super soldier serum its bitch. James motherfucking Barnes joined the lab rats of Banner's sex research.

[mikaleialt]

Coming Back to You | Minah Lee

Minah Lee x Reader

Cw: angst, smut, fluff. MDNI. MERRY CHRISTMAS @taruusmoon. <3, also I was waiting for Minah to poat the perfect picture for this pic and she finally did, look at how fucking hot she is!!!! And happy birthday to my girl Minah Lee.

"I'm just saying that I wish you could make time for me, even for just 10 minutes!"

Here you are again, you've been arguing with your girlfriend, Minah for the nth time this week. You two were supposed to be on a date today, but she ditched you last second because she "forgot" that her team had a scheduled meeting earlier on the same time of your dinner reservation at this restaurant.

Now you're both here in your apartment, 4 am in the morning, fighting like a wedded couple once again. Minah just got back from their "meeting" which you found out that is actually a party from the fact that your girlfriend reeks of alcohol.

"Babe, you know that we've been busy with the show right? We all need to be better, do you hear what people call us? We weren't even acknowledged by the other contestants, they were just calling us 'Bada and her students'." You scoff at your girlfriend's alibi, seriously you can't even comprehend how she could say that while slurring over her words, completely obvious that she is drunk.

"You don't have time? YOU DON'T TIME?" You couldn't contain your anger anymore, "YOU DON'T HAVE FUCKING TIME, BUT YOU HAVE TIME TO GO DRINKING AND PARTYING WHILE I WAS WAITING AT THE RESTAURANT FOR 2 FUCKING HOURS?!" Tears are streaming down your cheeks, when Minah sees this, something inside her snaps almost like her system sobers up immediately.

"Baby I—" you cut her off "Let’s break up" You said it, you finally said it.

You didn't let Minah say anything else as you already walked out off your apartment, leaving her behind.

That was 4 months ago, you moved back to your parents in Busan after your break up, you didn't even bother going back to your apartment for your things, knowing that you're just going to see Minah once again.

2

But fate has a different plan for you. You've blocked Minah on every single social media you have, and even her phone number, but you're still somehow in touch with her leader, Bada as she is also your dance mentor. So when you received a text from her, inviting you to attend the On the Stage: Busan concert of SWF 2, your mind is split in two.

You balanced out the pros and cons of your options: You want to go to show your support to your dance teacher, but you'll see your ex again; but you can go there and show that you hold no ill will towards her, but you are also not ready to talk to her again.

You sighed in frustration as you picked up your phone and typed in your response, you just hope that you won't regret this later on.

Now here you are, sitting amongst the crowd as the teams of Street Women Fighter 2 performs on stage. You are thankful because you get to watch the performance live and you didn't get to see Minah for the most part, trying to focus on other dancers like the international crew, Jam Republic and Tsubakill, and a some dancers you're close with like Harimu from 1Million and JJ from Deep 'N Dap.

You were screaming, cheering on everyone's performance, but that is until one of the audiences' most awaited performance: Bebe's Global Artist Performance.

Cockiness (I like it) by Rihanna started playing as the stage lights illuminated the 7 girls on the center of the stage, they were all wearing a burlesque inspired outfit which really suited each one of them. You looked at the big screen and the camera immediately focuses on the person you've been wanting to avoid the most

Minah did her iconic intro once the music start and everyone around screams. You wanted to divert your focus on the other members but after seeing your hot ex girlfriend dance in that outfit, you felt your heart flutter for the first time again, almost forgetting the fact that you guys broke up a few months ago.

Not too long, the concert then concluded, all the SWF 2 teams says their goodbye to the audience and finally made their way to each to their changing rooms.

As you are on your way out of the arena, your phone buzzes from your pocket, indicating you received a text message. You fished out your phone and seeing the notification was from Bada

"There's an after party tonight, wanna come?"

You are in the same situation again as when you are invited by Bada to attend the concert. You balanced out your options once again. With the concert only you can see Minah, but you can't interact with each other which you are grateful for, but going to the after party would mean that you will be seeing and interacting with your ex-girlfriend, and that is too much for you.

You were about to type in your answer, when a familiar voice calls out to your name.

"Y/N~!" You looked at the direction where you heard the voice and saw the tall woman running towards you.

"Unnie I—" before you could even say anything she immediately pulled you to the van where the rest of team Bebe is already at, making you seat next to Lusher who is sitting next to Minah. Guess you don't really have a choice.

Just great. You thought to yourself, the rest of the Bebe girls are all talking to each other with you occasionally joining in but you couldn't really say anything else, not when you literally feel the presence of Minah near you. You are thankful enough that Lusher is seated between the two of you.

Or so you thought...

"Y/n-ie can we switch seats, I don't like seating in the middle" You looked at the poor Lusher, she's getting pale due to the uncomfortable situation. Reluctantly you let her switch seats with you, but as soon as you sat down once again, your body tenses up as soon as you brushed your arm against Minah.

She looks at you and offered a bittersweet smile before looking outside the window, minding her own business. The light from the streetlights outside cascades on Minah features, you can't help but stare at her, her now black hair that used to be dyed orange suits her better, and you can see that she wears a subtle dark eye makeup, similar to the make up she wore on their performance.

You were in a trance as you stare at her until you heard snickering behind you, Kyma, Che-Che and Sowoen were right behind you, laughing at how awestruck you are at Minah. Minah heard this also and looks at you before looking at the girls at the back.

The giggling stops as you all arrived at the party venue, the rest of the teams are inside already. Once you got in, you noticed that the members from the other teams also have their own plus one, some are their close friends, while some seems like their partners as you noticed Babysleek’s husband is also here.

The party went on, people drinks and get drunk, some dances and grinds to each other on the dance floor, and soon you too finally let loose and starts partying.

It was way past midnight now and the party is still at its peak, ‘though some are already passed out aka mostly the youngest of each team except for Haechi and Rena who are still partying like wild animals on the dance floor. You however starts to gets dizzy as the song Meddle About by Chase Atlantic blasted on the speakers, the alcohol finally getting through your systems as you now feel quite high from drunkenness. Nevertheless, you still kept dancing on the dance, grinding on the person you now failed to recognize due to the alcohol.

Unbeknownst to you the girl you are shaking your ass on is none other than Minah, her hands are on your waist as she guides your hips to match her rhythm. “Fucking hell, Y/n you’re driving me crazy” she whispers against your ear. Only then do you recognize the voice but instead of flinching away, which what you would probably do if only you were sober, you lean in more to her touch.

Your back against her chest, as you sway your hips against hers, her hands loosely wrapped around your waist while your left hand sat above it, meanwhile your other hand is reaching for her face, trying to keep her head close to yours as she whispers sweet nothings to you.

“You are so fucking beautiful…” She takes in your scent as she presses her lips on your neck before dragging her tongue against your skin. An inappropriate sound escapes from your lips and you can feel your ex-girlfriend smirks against your neck as soon as she heard it.

Her hands traveled down to your pants and started touching hour aching pussy through it. You leaned your head back more, you almost forgot that you two are still in the middle of the dance floor, thankfully everyone is drunk enough to simply ignore what you two are doing.

~~~

“Fuck…taste so good”

Here you are now, your pants now draped below your knees as you sat on the bathroom’s sink, becoming a moaning mess as your ex-girlfriend dives in between your soaking wet cunt. Tongue deep inside you accompanied by two of her fingers, simultaneously thrusting in and out of you.

“M-Minah f—uck” You couldn’t contain your moans, the effects of the alcohol finally subsided, you are now more sober than you were earlier, but now you are high on pleasure as you are about to reach your orgasm.

“Taste so fucking good. I miss this pussy of yours” Minah muttered against your folds “did you missed getting eaten out like this baby?” she dives right back in and you replied with only a pornographic moan, which only encourage Minah more.

“Such a slut for me. Tell me did you regret breaking up with me?” Minah said as she thrust her fingers inside you in a fast pace. You are already fucked out of your mind, couldn’t even construct a proper sentence as you nod your head vigorously.

“Use your words, Y/n” she looks directly at you eyes, and you did the same. You saw that behind the lust in her eyes lays a sense of hopefulness, hoping that you are telling the truth.

“Yes—YES FUCK! I miss you so much, I’m sorry I left you—ack” You are cumming, you really are close. Minah thrusted her fingers faster, while she busied her mouth once again on sucking your clit. Soon a wave of pleasure gushes on your nerves. Your breathe staggers as your legs shakes from the orgasm, your juices sprayed on Minah’s face, god she even managed to make you squirt. Minah stood up from her position and went up to kiss you which you willingly accepts.

“Please give me another chance, Y/n… I promise I’ll be better, I’ll never leave you alone again.” You saw the sincerity on her eyes and you answered her by pulling her again for a kiss.

Outside the bathroom is a poor Tatter who has been wanting to go to the bathroom for quite some time now, only to be welcomed by the moans of her best friends.

A/n: there you go @taruusmoon, I figured to just post it on Minah’s birthday instead but this also serves as your late Christmas present hope you liked it <3

[abarbaricyalp]

Give Me Toothaches Just From Kissing Me

"But March 10th was two weeks ago!" Time doesn't exist. Happy Birthday to Bucky Barnes

The first time Sam had gotten Bucky a birthday cake, it was a joke. It was 2016, just a few scant months before their whole operation went to hell in a handbasket, and Sam had texted Bucky without expectation of a reply. Just a picture of the view from his fancy hotel balcony in Monaco or something, with a fancy chocolate cake on the wide balcony ledge. He was in town for a military tech conference, so his morning jogging schedule had been interrupted. Eating a whole cake on his own over four days would totally be in the realm of possibility. 

An hour later, when Sam was more than half a bottle of wine down and two albums in on a 'crooners' playlist, a shadow peeled itself off of the wall and greeted him with a, "Hey, birdbrain."

Sam, perhaps, did not do any work towards proving that nickname stupid by flailing dramatically and knocking the cake with his forearm. With twin movements, they watched the cake sail to the ground seven stories below and explode into a shower of sugar and cream. Then they turned to look at each other. There were three beats of shocked silence and then they both burst into laughter together.

"That was a really good cake," Sam whined in between the laughter as he leaned into Bucky's space and Bucky wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

"Yeah, I could tell. You already had half."

"I didn't figure you were gonna actually show up," Sam pointed out.

"Why wouldn't I show up? You called."

"That hasn't stopped you before," Sam pointed out. He spent a few extra seconds staring at the mangled cake on the ground before he sat back on the balcony furniture. Bucky followed him down. He kept his arm around Sam until it was unfeasible, and then he let his hand fall to Sam's, fingers tangling together. Sam allowed it because it was his birthday, even though it was vastly out of the range of usual activities for them.

"Well, this time I was promised cake," he added after a few seconds of amiable quiet.

Sam looked over at him to discern if he was serious or not. The grin pulling at his usually severe mouth said all Sam needed to know. They burst into quiet giggles again.

“Good thing I got all the sweetness I need right here,” Bucky eventually conceded. He tucked a knuckle under Sam’s jaw and leaned in to kiss him beneath the moon and the lights and everything but a cake.

. . .

The second time Sam tried to give Bucky cake, it was a year later. It felt almost impossible that the world had slowed down around them long enough to justify an impromptu visit to Wakanda to check in on Bucky.

When their jet had touched down, Bucky was waiting for them with a wide smile that Sam had never really seen before. "Now, I know I told T'Challa not to do anything for my birthday, but he went a step further and got me everything I didn't want," he joked as he and Steve collided in a fierce hug, the kind of thing that always made Sam want to look away.

Then Bucky was extricating himself from Steve's hold so he could crowd around Sam instead, ducking his face down to Sam's neck as he squeezed his waist. If it was supposed to be a hug, it was like no hug Sam had ever had. He could get used to it though. After a few heartbeats shared between them, Sam pinched Bucky's hip and stepped back.

"Hey, old man," he greeted. Bucky grinned at him, boyish and a little smitten. It was a look Sam was more familiar with. "Happy birthday."

"Is that what this is about? You stop paying attention after 90," Bucky joked. For a split second, his fingers lingered over Sam's but he didn't take his hand--Sam didn't take Bucky's either--and he turned back to Steve to amble along together as they instantly fell into a conversation like they hadn't just been apart for the better part of half a year.

By the time they got around to dinner and a small party, Sam felt silly for bringing a dozen store bought cupcakes--hidden away in his room upstairs. The dinner had been more of a feast, despite Bucky's protestations, and the dessert spread that followed was unlike anything Sam had ever seen. No expensive wedding or VA event or Stark fundraiser held a candle to the cakes and cookies and sweet bars that were available. Sam ate more Wakandan desserts than he could name American desserts and each one was better than the last. Bucky, for all his talk of not wanting anything, had at least sampled every chocolate food on the table and gone back for full servings of most of them.

By the time they managed to crawl into Bucky's room--which branched off into Steve and Sam's rooms and connected bathrooms--all of them were groaning about stomach aches and sugar comas. Bucky crawled under his blankets, becoming nothing more than a groaning lump, and Steve settled along the bench at the end of the bed, laying back on it and resting a hand over his stomach, while burping and then apologizing every few minutes.

Sam ducked into his room while the others settled and grabbed the two bags from him and Steve, as well as the plastic carton of cupcakes. It was absolutely not going back with him at this point. His stomach hurt just looking at it.

Back in Bucky's room, he passed off the bounty. Bucky set aside the gift bags, but his eyes gleamed at the sight of more sweets.

"Come on, open the gifts," Sam jostled, sitting on the bed nearest where Bucky was sprawled.

"Nah, I'll look at them later," he said as he peeled the safety seal sticker away from the cupcakes.

"Oh, come on," Steve laughed. "You're still shy?"

"I'm not shy," Bucky snapped. "I'm civilized. Not everyone has to tear into their gifts as soon as they're within reach."

Sam snorted and tried to hide it from Steve.

"I do not do that," Steve objected, but not with much conviction. Actually, he wasn't that bad, Sam had to admit. But clearly Bucky had better stories than Sam.

“What are these?” Bucky asked instead of fighting a battle he knew he’d already won. He took the cupcakes and deftly opened the package without making a cacophonous sound, which meant he knew perfectly well what they were and clearly had had his share of them.

“I know they’re not anything special after that whole show,” Sam acknowledged, waving his hand in the general direction of the kitchens. “But these are packed so full of preservatives, you’ll be able to keep ‘em until his birthday,” he joked with a gesture towards Steve.

“Way to sell ‘em, Wilson,” Bucky chuckled. He was already halfway through one of the cupcakes and he held a blue one out to Steve. It was the middle of march, so most of the predesigned things were spring flavored. This set, blues and greens swirled around, was about as festive as Sam could find. “I love the frosting on these things,” he added around a mouthful of cupcake.

Steve shot Sam a knowing, slightly gloating look. He’d been the one to insist Bucky would enjoy these, no matter what else was going on with the day. Then he shoved the entire cupcake in his mouth just like Bucky because apparently manners hadn’t been invented yet back in the ‘40s. Sam shook his head at their antics, both of them trying to one up the other until almost the whole carton was gone.

Bucky reached over to snag a smear of frosting off of Steve’s cheek and sucked his knuckle into his mouth while Steve cried foul about uneven division of frosting.

“You two are gross,” Sam laughed and made sure his own face was devoid of any frosting before their turned their attention on him.

It didn’t work. By the time Bucky had turned his playful, teasing expression on Sam, his eyes had darkened just a little and one eyebrow rose in a challenge.

“No,” Sam warned, holding up the half of a cupcake still in his hand. “Whatever it is, no.”

But Bucky didn’t listen. He reached out to and shoved the cupcake against Sam’s cheek, frosting first, then pinned him back against the headboard with a broad hand across Sam’s shoulder and collarbone. Sam swallowed thickly, couldn’t help the way he went lax beneath Bucky’s weight as the other man settled across his thighs and leaned forward to lick a stipe of the icing off of Sam’s cheek.

“Stevie, you might wanna think about gettin’ to your own room,” Bucky warned without taking his dark, hungry stare off of Sam.

“Ah, come on. You two are gross,” Steve complained, but he did hustle out of the room pretty quickly. Took a cupcake for the road.

Sam tried to put some structure back in his bones, tried to posture up under Bucky’s hold. He reached up for the frosting, wiped most of it off of himself, and then smeared it across Bucky’s cheek, down to his mouth.

That mouth split into a grin before it was against Sam’s, lips parted, tongue hungry as he licked over Sam’s lips, chasing after the frosting he was depositing.

Sam had to admit: this may be better than the desserts downstairs.

. . .

The next time he actually got to sit still for Bucky’s birthday, it was a few lifetimes later. He had every intention of sleeping in just a little bit, skipping his run to get up before everyone else and make a cake, wake up the house to the smell of chocolate and buttercream, the way his mama used to always.

Instead, he slept in a lot a bit and woke up to the sound of nothing short of chaos in the kitchen. Sarah was out already, he surmised when he finally dragged himself upright and grabbed his phone from where it had fallen the night before to check the time. He and Bucky had gotten in late the night before, stuck in New York doing paperwork after some giant worm appeared out of a sinkhole in New Jersey. He had no idea how Bucky had the energy to get up, much less start making noise in the kitchen.

Groggily, maybe a little grumpily, he pulled on a hoodie and a pair of shorts that wouldn’t aggravate all of the scrapes he was covered in and went out to see what was happening.

Bucky did make it a point to clean up the kitchen any time he was near it. Especially after himself, but even when Sarah cooked. He insisted that she did the cooking, so he should do the cleaning. And somehow this reflected badly on Sam, as far as Sarah was concerned, which seemed unfair. Sam cleaned plenty.

The cleaning never seemed to justify the mess beforehand.

“What in the world is going on here?” Sam asked, leaning on the wide doorjamb that led into the kitchen.

Cass whirled around first, clutching a too large mixing bowl to his chest. “Nothing!” he exclaimed.

AJ, less practiced in the ways of subterfuge, said, “We’re making cupcakes! For Bucky,” he clarified

Bucky, who was remarkably clean for the amount of flour and egg otherwise splashed across the kitchen, grinned at Sam. “I didn’t ask, by the way. They brought it up. I dunno how you and Sarah say no to these little faces.”

AJ preened and gave another spin with the spatula, sent more frosting over the edge of his too-small bowl.

“You guys are working at a disadvantage, trynna listen to Bucky,” Sam said, coming into the kitchen. “I know you know how to use paper towels. Why does the kitchen look like this?”

Cass let out a little noise of guilt, but Bucky saved him from having to answer by producing a roll of paper towel from behind himself. “It’s probably supposed to be my job, but I’m a better taste tester.”

“Uncle Sam, is it true he can’t get salmonella ‘cause of the super soldier serum?” Cass asked.

“Can I have some?” AJ added.

Sam shot Bucky an unimpressed look, but he was nothing but cheeky smiles and not a shred of embarrassment. “I guess we’re gonna find out if it’s true or not,” he said. He snagged the paper towels from Bucky to begin wiping up at least the bits of cracked egg that lined every countertop. “Lucky it’s me in here and not your mama.”

Cass made the same kind of noise again as he searched for a place to put down his mixing bowl. It must be an oldest sibling gene, because Sam remembered Gideon making the exact same kind of sounds. Usually when Sam was about to do something like jump off the stair bannister.

“Mom’s out at the restaurant,” AJ said, unbothered. He was usually unbothered.

“Come here,” Sam said, gesturing more for AJ to make space than for him to actually move closer. “Bucky let you pick the wrong bowl, so you’ve gotta be careful,” he said, holding AJ’s hand as he held onto the spatula. “Go slow, like this.”

He looked up as AJ failed to do that, more frosting going flying, and caught Bucky’s eye. Bucky grinned again, soft and lovely in the mid-morning light coming through the kitchen window.

“A guy could get used to this view,” he said with a warm honey tone.

“A guy will not,” Sam said. “Get to actually cleaning.”

Bucky gave him the laziest of salutes and took the paper towels back.

By the time Sarah came home, with balloons and, hilariously, an ice cream cake, the kitchen was clean and they’d managed to make the best cupcakes Sam had ever had.

. . .

It took finding their own place, saving the world a few hundred times, a lot of missed events, and one perfect spring day for Sam to finally have a cake on the table on Bucky’s birthday. Handmade, from the same recipe he always got for his birthdays as a kid.

“Happy birthday, old man,” he said, kissing Bucky’s temple.

Bucky caught Sam’s hand against his shoulder, tugged him down to sprawl across Bucky’s lap. “Is that what all this is about?” Bucky teased, like he did almost every time Sam tried to do anything for his birthday, no matter how delayed the celebration was.

“Yeah, yeah,” Sam laughed. He dragged the cake closer and lit the handful of candles–he was not putting a hundred candles on a cake–before sitting back a little. “Make a wish before you keel over.”

Bucky laughed, bright and loud, and his arms tightened around Sam. “I haven’t had to wish for anything for a long time, Sammy.” And he kissed Sam without even trying to blow out the candles.

[youunravelme]

Hey baby, happy 1000!

Your writing is always sweet and warm, happy that you are having such a well-deserved recognition! 💜

Could you grace us by writing to Anthony with the prompt “Nibbling on their partner’s lower lip as they kiss, letting their hands wander. Cupping their face in their hands to hold them their just a while longer.”?

Ily 💜

thank you thank you !! and AHHHHH thank you for choosing good ole sweet nugget anthony! (ilhsm)

thanks for the request!! it's right below! (and this request, just like the last one, got away from me yet again.)

anthony's trade still left a sour taste in your mouth. you were in no position to job hunt, and you weren't keen on up and quitting.

so you managed long distance.

for months

and god it sucked.

your schedules barely aligned to talk on facetime, and if both of you were free, one of you was too tired to talk, which ended in one of you hanging up when the conversation died down. it was hard, managing a social life when all you wanted was your boyfriend, it was even harder knowing he was trying just as much to have a good time in vancouver.

the offseason was wonderful, with anthony splitting time between new york with you and time with his family.

but when august hit, and he packed his last bag, it took everything in you to wait to cry until he left for tsa.

so when your boss came up to you a month later and suggested you could work remotely, you almost cried and hugged her.

you refrained and called mat instead.

"hey what's up? everything okay?"

you laughed into the phone, so hard you almost started crying. "my boss told me i can work remotely."

"oh," he said before his voice came back even stronger. "oh!"

"i can move to vancouver!" you were crying now, though someone might think the word "weeping" was more applicable. "no more long distance, no more falling asleep on calls."

"have you told him yet?"

you paused. "no, i think i wanna surprise him." you'd been planning it all day, they were playing the ducks this week in vancouver. and while you would've loved to wait until next week when they played the isles, you didn't think you could wait that long to see him.

so you booked your plane ticket, and mat gave you a list of suggested hotels that were safe and close to the arena.

"not that you'll need a hotel once he finds out you're in town," mat said.

mat had also pulled some strings for you by asking bo horvat to let one of his former teammates know to let you down to the locker rooms at the end of the game. he'd also sent a list of things to do in vancouver while you waited for the game to start.

which would ultimately be a waste because you ended up spending most of your time before the game pacing the floor of your hotel room. you would've paced up and down the plane aisles if you were allowed, so you settled for bouncing your leg instead.

by the time you made it to the stadium, you were like two hours early, just in time for the doors to open. initially, you thought about waiting so anthony wouldn't spot you in the small crowd, but you couldn't keep waiting and delaying the inevitable.

not when you were in the same city for the first time in months since the off season.

you walked into the arena, pulling your jersey's sleeves over your hands in a sad attempt to keep them warm. around you were others dressed similarly, many of whom were wearing your boyfriend's jersey.

it was weird, even though you'd had time to get used to him not wearing an islanders' jersey, you'd never actually been to a home canucks game where multiple people were decked out in 72s.

god you couldn't wait to see him.

your phone buzzed in your back pocket and when you pulled it out, you saw anthony's contact photo filling up your screen.

"hello?"

"hey baby," anthony started. "how're you doing? have any plans for tonight?"

you smirked to yourself. "nothing too special," you said. "just seeing a friend i haven't seen in awhile."

"is that so? how was work--" he cut himself off. "where are you right now? it's kinda loud." you could hear him typing on his phone. "wait, why can't i see your location? where are you? are you safe? do i need to call mat?"

you laughed, missing him even now that you were in opposite ends of the arena. "no baby, i'm fine. sometimes my phone just glitches out."

"if your phone keeps glitching, you need to get a new one. i don't like not knowing where you are."

"anthony--"

"i'm being dead serious, honey. i will buy you a phone if you're concerned about money, but i'm not comfortable with not having a reliable way to get up with you."

"my phone is fine."

"you just said it's glitchy." you rolled your eyes and sighed. "don't roll your eyes at me!"

you blinked. "how did you know i rolled my eyes?"

anthony's chuckle sounded through the receiver. "baby, i've been in love with you for a long time, i know you." you could fill the heat flood your body from your toes to your nose. "don't get shy on me now, honey. you know i love you."

"i know," you said. "i just like being reminded of it."

there was a commotion in the background of his phone that told you he was about to hang up.

"hey, listen i gotta go but can i call you later?"

you smiled to yourself. "i don't know, anthony, i think i'm gonna be busy later."

"too busy for me?"

"'fraid so."

he sighed. "fine, call me when you get home tonight, okay? if you don't, i'm calling mat to check on you."

"okay, baby. i love you."

"love you more."

and he hung up.

you made your way to your seat, sitting behind the front row of home bench and readying yourself with your beanie to cover your hair and face when needed. you scrolled through your social media accounts and answered some text messages, specifically from mat who was begging you to take a video of when anthony finally saw you.

before you knew it, the music started playing and boos emanated from the crowd as the ducks skated out. your gaze went back to your phone for a second to pull up the video as the canucks came out. the entire arena erupted into cheeks and celebration.

you had your phone aimed at the bench as soon as anthony came towards it. you didn't think it was possible to hide yourself behind a small cellular device, but he didn't manage to see you. for a moment, you saw him squint in your direction, but a teammate grabbed his attention before he could really hone in.

the game itself was interesting, anthony had one assist and one goal by the end of the night, with the canucks winning 5-3. at the end of the game, a security guard came over and grabbed you, offering to escort you to the locker rooms.

you stood and waited outside with the other wags, most of whom didn't recognize you initially. it wasn't until one of them mentioned knowing you from somewhere that you mentioned who you were dating. you lost track of how long you talked to them when the doors opened and the players walked out.

you stared and waited in anticipation of seeing him, knowing good and well the second you did, you wouldn't be able to control yourself.

and there he was, staring at his phone, probably texting someone back.

and you had an idea.

you immediately pulled up his contact info and hit the call button as you watched his face light up and quickly pick up the call.

"hey," he said, holding a hand to his other ear to hear you. "i thought you said you couldn't talk tonight."

"change of plans," you replied, not helping the smile that's on your face.

some of his teammates came up and clapped him on the shoulder, but he paid them no attention. quinn even tried to point towards you, but anthony waved him off.

"what're you gonna do now?"

you hummed. "i think i might take a handsome man home."

immediately, anthony's posture tensed, though you could still see the slight smirk on his face. "don't joke about that."

"oh i'm not joking. i'm just waiting for him to look up and notice me."

"how could anyone not notice you, baby?"

you shrugged, knowing he couldn't see you. "i don't know anthony, how could you not see me?"

he pulled the phone away from his ear and looked at it like it had suddenly grown legs before he looked up and around everyone, eyes scanning those around him.

before those beautiful blue eyes landed on you.

you don't think someone has ever hung up a phone call as fast as he did.

you don't think anyone has crossed a room as quickly as he did.

you don't think...

well, as soon as his lips met yours, you ceased to think.

his hands were on your cheeks, his teeth pulled on your bottom lip. you weren't sure if he cheeks were still damp from the shower or if he was crying, not that it mattered to you. being held like that was everything you didn't realize you missed.

suddenly, you were missing the moments of lazy saturdays and pancakes for breakfast.

and you had it here right now.

you'd have it forever once you packed up your old apartment.

"what're you doing here?" he breathed into your mouth, like he was too scared to pull too far away, scared that if he did, you'd be a mirage or a figment of his own imagination.

"i thought it was obvious. i'm here to see you."

he rolled his eyes but kissed you again. "i missed your smart mouth, doesn't hit the same over the phone."

you placed your hands on his chest and felt the pounding heartbeat beneath the fabric of his clothes. "i came to give you good news."

"and?"

"my boss told me i could start working remotely."

he blinked.

"meaning, i can work anywhere i want, occasionally coming into the office about once a month if that."

he blinked again before exhaling what sounded like the most heartbreaking sigh of relief. "so you can move here? be with me?"

you laughed and nodded before he pulled you into another kiss. "anthony, baby, we're in public," you said, trying to pull away.

but his arms just grabbed you by the hips and pulled you closer. "don't care," he said. "i haven't seen my girl in months, if anyone has a problem with my kissing her, then that's a them issue."

you rolled your eyes but kissed him again anyway.

"i love you," he whispered. "i'm so glad you're moving here."

"love you more."

[smokee78]

Hey! I have a few questions about your experiences with final fusion. How would you describe your experience with amnesia before and after the fusion? Also how did you know you finally fused and not just front stuck? Last question, did you regain the memories from childhood? (You can ignore the last question if it’s too personal)

We get front stuck a lot and then convinced we are better only to have a large amnesia chunk 😭 Thank you and congratulations on your healing journey!! That’s awesome!

Hi! These are some great questions :)

1. Amnesia has always been a tricky thing for me, because unless a detail is pointed out to me, I don't realize when I have had an amnesia gap in my memory. In my general day-to-day life pre-fusion, we worked as a team with set schedules for going to work and other things like appointments and were generally responsible and reliable enough to know that we'd gone to work and that we hadn't missed appointments and other things. I had extensive therapy for ADHD and medication in my teenage years and so I had developed a lot of coping mechanisms that helped this aspect, even if it was supposed to help for ADHD, the strategies ended up helping with my DID symptoms as well. The main types of Amnesia we had were traumatic memories locked to specific alters or subsystems, or childhood and adulthood memories that were locked to specific alters that weren't pertinent to daily life such as tasks required for work.

The biggest Amnesia we would have problems with in regards to work were meeting new clients and forgetting they existed or having a change to our schedule or a meeting that was outside our regular routinely schedule. I chalked that up to simply being forgetful until I realized I had did, and then there was a lot of journaling and more prompts to try and mitigate this though not every altar was 100% successful at communicating these.

due to our teenage years being on and off, paid and unpaid therapy programs that we fortunately had access to, even though these therapies were for things like ADHD or simple depression and suicidal Tendencies, I think a lot of the CBT and general talk therapy and mild dabbling in DBT strategies helped us be able to function more as one unit than we probably would have had we had zero therapy until adulthood. I think it helped our main cast of frequent fronters share a lot more memory and have a lot less full blackout Amnesia, and was a contributor to us originally thinking we had osdd1b rather than full DID.

Post fusion, I do have a lot less memory gaps, though. I still do dissociate and I still frequently forget things, especially if it's in regards to a stressful situation or happened at a time that was high stress in my environment. environment. still do forget new clients a lot, though. I at least remember they exist now. I frequently don't remember that first meeting with them until I've met with them a couple more times. I can't picture their face, or anything about them, such as their age or gender without prompting or reviewing notes. My partner tells me that I do forget some conversations we've had, sometimes very minor conversations, and sometimes more important things that I've been wanting to talk about and we finally have a conversation about it and a few days later I will bring up the conversation again, not remembering it was already resolved. I would say this happens at least 80% less, and doesn't really interfere in my day-to-day life to the point where it's a focus of any therapy or something that I'm trying to improve.

2. I will reblog this later on with maybe a little bit of the recount of my final fusion, because I remember essentially live blogging it on discord haha.

it was a very blurry and dissociative fusion, where I knew something was going on, but originally I thought I was splitting- for the first time in quite a long time. it took me a couple hours to realize that our final two alters were fusing together, and I didn't feel like I deserved it at first.

it was hard to accept that I had healed to the point where I truly was ready for that final fusion, especially after just earlier that day (or sometime that week?) saying that I was all right if we stayed as two and weren't able to fuse. We had made peace with that, so fusing so soon after that peace was very surprising and unexpected, which made it harder to wrap my head around.

There was a sense of finality to it, aside from the anxiety of whether this fusion would last or whether we would split apart shortly after, or whether an entirely new split would happen where since we had come together, we wouldn't exactly go back to the two we had, were we to split again.

but after a few weeks we were able to accept that fusion. I was myself together and there was a lot more of the older alters that had fused that we kind of had lost the touch of, or the sense of, in those larger fusions that we were now able to feel again as one whole.

Stem, one of the final two to fuse, had stayed dominant as an alter back from when we were over 90 parts- and she was the co-host right up until being one of the final two to fuse.

Since her personality was so dominant, a lot of the fragments and other alters that she had fused with had been so in the background of their fusion with her, that there wasn't really a sense of those other alters. After Leafy and Stem fused together, a lot of those older alters that we had enjoyed the presence of, who had very specific traits, or ways of thinking, or moods, were now present again and noticeable. So I'd say aside from the anxiety and the doubts that come with not being able to be certain about anything ever (and our OCD that comes with uncertainty) , we were able to work through all of that and truly accept that. Yes, we had final fused.

3. within my therapy, mainly EMDR, to process my traumas to be able to heal and fuse, memory regaining was never a focus or a stressor of mine. between alters across the system we actually retained quite a few memories, but as we developed a sort of timeline of our memories, we realized that a lot of what we thought were memories were actually just fact memorization about our life. For instance, we remembered a lot of our birthday parties, such as in third grade, I had my birthday party at a bowling alley. but aside from looking at photo albums and knowing that location in my memory and being able to know which people had attended, based on looking at those photos, I didn't actually have any internal memories of that bowling party. I know what bowling is like so I can imagine that, I know what being nine is like so I can remember most of how I felt to be a 9-year-old, I can remember what the taste of cake is like, but I had no physical actual remembrance of that event despite knowing it happened.

and that is essentially how my entire memory works aside from very few key memories. Even just having moved in March, I can remember where I lived before I moved in March, but I can no longer remember how it felt to run my daily routine in my old house, what it was like to use the bathroom there or go to bed there or cook and eat there. I don't actually have any physical memory of how it was to be there and live there.

Moving back to your question, however, I might say I remember less of my childhood now than I did pre-fusion, and that is because it is no longer a focus of my life. I find in my day-to-day now I care less about and need to remember less about my childhood and my past to live my current life. prior to fusing or even accessing any type of trauma and coping therapy, I was obsessed with documenting and finding every memory, benign or traumatic that I had in my childhood up into my current age. there was a lot of documentation on discord, private servers and plural kit, sharing which alter remembered which years of my life, which events which traumas or whether they were a memory holder for non-traumatic events. there was also an emphasis on letting those alters front more because they remembered more and I enjoyed remembering and knowing guaranteed facts about my life, especially the nicer memories.

I don't know if this is because we thought that these would be entirely necessary to heal, or because the system community does have an emphasis on trauma holders and memory holders, at least in the circles I was in, or just because that was something I as an entire system valued.

anytime a memory had been triggered by the current alter fronting, there would be an immediate mental documentation of said memory, and a physical notation of the memory were it possible in the moment to do so, followed by digging to try and find more memories. in a lot of ways, this probably wasn't helpful and a number of times, by our own mind and also external factors in people in the community, I believe that we misremembered or had been led to believe that there were more to certain memories than there were in reality (for example, certain trauma types that we had not been through, but had been led to believe and had dug and read into certain memories more than necessary to pretend that they were there).

(*pretend isn't exactly the correct word here as I was never trauma faking, and I never claimed anything out loud that I wasn't 100% sure I did experience, but it was apparent that these memories were shakier than others, and they felt more like lies than true memories compared to the other things that we did remember, if that makes sense.)

Post fusion, these random triggers of old memories are so much less frequent than they were when they were scattered across different alters of the system. Before, I would be very nostalgic and frequently have very sudden intrusions of old memories and feelings or remember lost media from my childhood etc. anything from the weather to a word someone used to a specific color could trigger these memories straight to the forefront. this happens much less now than it used to, to the point where it's actually much more noticeable if I do have a day where I remember something specific, compared to pre-fusion where it was near everyday.

One very very important thing to note about my childhood memories and my ability to process trauma and fuse, is that the memories were very, very much not necessary to being able to process the traumas I went through. I processed quite a few traumas that I had very few details on, or even just a feeling and they were processed in the exact same way that the memories I did have vivid recollection of were processed.

I healed my trauma through EMDR therapy, which is a very intense therapy that tired me out and kept me on edge for the year and a bit I did it, but from my understanding, other trauma therapies such as PE also would be able to process these traumas with lack of memory in the same way.

emdr focuses on a negative cognition you have about yourself from the result of a trauma you faced, and helps you process that cognition and replace it with a better, healthier one. For instance, someone who went through a trauma may have the cognition "if I had been smarter I wouldn't have gone through that. I am weak and I am stupid."

emdr asks you to question that cognition and replace it with what you would rather believe about yourself, such as "going through that didn't make me weak." "I am still strong." "I am safe now" or any other number of positive, healthy beliefs that fit you and your worldview. Now of course a lot of people reading this probably think "oh of course me going through that didn't make me stupid, it wasn't my fault." and I knew that as well. I knew that a lot of my traumas were not my fault and that they didn't make me weaker or worse than anyone else, but it didn't matter with the logical side of my brain said. it mattered how I felt about the events emotionally. and looking into a lot of those traumas, I did have negative emotional beliefs about them despite logically knowing that they didn't make me any worse or better than anyone else.

and that's why you don't need to remember the event itself to be able to process. you just need to know how you feel about the traumas. For all of my targets. I had a traumatic memory that went along with the cognition , but I suspect that even just a vague notion or vague example that wasn't a specific memory would still be enough to successfully process one of these cognitions.

So, in conclusion, this ramble was just to say if you asked your final question because of worry or anxiety about needing to remember things, I promise you will be able to heal without remembering everything and I promise that your life will not be wasted or worth less because you remember less of your childhood. You can still make new memories and live a life you're proud and happy with without needing to know everything from your past.

I hope it's okay. this answer was so long! They was a really good questions so thank you for that :)

[colum-nina]

'one drenched lily' — feat. yuki and nina

synopsis; today's agenda? make nina's day less sorrowful and lonesome and more happy and lively. how? maybe the lilies adorning her head have something to do with it... they do look a bit wilted...

taglist; @ayumi-darling

bina's note; inspiration go brr

Afternoon approaches one day within the lonesome lily's greenhouse, and Nina prepared to head to bed — she sleeps in the afternoon in order to stay productive in the night.

Luckily a certain scientist mechanic-boy-man wasn't on the daybed that day — busy roaming around the greenhouse, seemingly looking for something.

An alarm blares out Nina's ringtone, '12 AM — Sleep', marking the end the lonesome angel's morning working period. Nina looks at the daybed, expecting to see a tired Yuki working on an experiment or a mechanism, but instead seeing a surprisingly clean daybed for once. No small burns in the bedsheet... no mechanical oil stains... no electricity marks whatsoever... no mechanism or experiment near or on day bed... Did he clean her daybed? Did he clean it when Nina was working away in the morning? Speaking of Yuki, where is he?

It's like the universe was listening to Nina's thoughts — water started pouring on her head.

Nina jolted at the cold water she used to water her lilies not so long ago, stunlocked as her hair began going limp and losing its curl due to the flowing water, her wings flapping vigorously as it tries to dry itself under the water pouring down onto her. With a disgusting mixed feeling of her wet mesh and cotton stockings and green tights and gloves, she looks up, only to get water all over her face.

Nina then looks behind her, splitting her hair and wiping her face with her wet gloved hands to see... Yuki.

Turns out, Yuki had seen Nina working away under the White Wisteria tree of her greenhouse, and had figured out there were a bundle of two to three white lilies behind her head connecting the two wings hugging her head. He was looking for a watering can — which he held at that very moment and had intended to use to water said flowers.

"... Wha, huh?"

Yuki replies with a straight face, "Yeah, I don't want them to die.", continuing to pour water onto Nina's head.

Nina stared into his eyes as Yuki continued to water Nina.

Minutes into the "watering session", Nina turned her head back to face the White Wisteria tree, letting him water her white lilies.

Little did Nina know, a small smile had creeped onto Yuki's face. He just didn't want her to wilt away like her flowers might. He's known her long enough to piece together observations that those lilies mirrored what Nina was feeling at the moment. The fact that they were wilting meant Nina was pretty under the weather.

Anything to make her happy, Ayumi would like him doing this...

And thus, they were like this for about an hour until the watering can ran out of water.

Nina was secretly a bit upset because her sleeping schedule was ruined, and she had to change and take a bath in her river (that's normal for her i swear), but the lilies seemed to enjoy Yuki's little gig.

Yuki left on his own accord for a bit while Nina was bathing because he wanted to give a lady her privacy.

After Nina had informed Yuki he could come back inside, Yuki noticed the flowers on her head had appeared more alive.

After Nina dried her hair, she slept on the daybed soundly, lilies facing Yuki as he sat across the daybed, doing his own business. Occasionally he'd glance at the sleeping angel, noticing the lilies looked happier and more alive.

A small but genuine smile crept onto his lips knowing that he's completed his own little agenda — he's made her day brighter, less lonesome and sorrowful.

For at the river behind the angel's greenhouse which Nina had been bathing at, a smile bloomed onto her face. It made her happy knowing he cared for her enough to care for the lilies, and her.

What could she do to repay him?

(And no, Yuki was not watching her sleep.)

bonus!!; Later that night as Yuki made his way to the now empty daybed (spendind the night at the angel's greenhouse, practically his second home), he could smell a familiar aroma of coffee.

For on the bed sat a wooden serving tray with his favorite cup of coffee with a note.

"Thank you <3

- Nina"

She didn't need to repay him, but she did.

Smiling at the cup of coffee before making his way to the moth woman's desk, he could see her coding, stressed but coding.

Yuki moved his hand onto her head to give Nina headpats, "You didn't need to repay me, Nina." As Nina turned around to smile at him through tired eyes, Yuki smiles back at her before making his way to the kitchen.

Not that long after, Yuki returned to Nina's desk with a cup of lemon green tea and goldfish crackers in a small bowl — what he knows to be her favorites (because ayumi told him before she left).

Nina takes the serving tray and smiles a genuine smile to him, the lilies seeming to turn lively and bloom again. A happy lily scent filled the greenhouse rapidly as Nina's voice muttered, "You know my favorite snacks...? Ahaha, thank you..."

For the rest of the night, both were smiling as their backs turned eachother. For once, a day was filled with happiness and joy.

A familiar face for both of them smiled at them from a different time... watching from her holographic screen...

[ssahotstuff]

Lie To Me

An Aaron Hotchner x Reader series

Aaron Hotchner/Ozark crossover

Part 8

Part 7 can be found here

Warnings: smut, crime, violence, penetration, oral, minors DNI

Word Count: 4.5k

You managed to avoid Aaron for a week, although he'd texted you everyday. He'd send you a single message, telling you that he loved you every night before bed. You weren't ready to talk to him, and you'd been really busy training Kay, the new waitress that you'd hired. She was going to help lighten the load; you'd managed to fit her in on the schedule with 36 hours, which was close enough to full time for her to agree to take the job. You'd been training her for five days now, and she was really getting the hang of everything. You were letting her and Charlotte work the dinner shift while you and Jonah went to the grocery store and bought some things for the house.

"I think she's going to do good here," Charlotte said as Kay took a table, greeting them with a cheerful smile.

"Me too."

By the time you picked up Jonah, Aaron's car was in the driveway. You hadn't managed to be home at the same time as him all week, and you were hoping you could keep going for another week if it meant never having the conversation that you needed to--you weren't ready to admit that his feelings were completely fabricated. You honked, and Jonah came to the car, but he wasn't the only one who did. Aaron came outside, jogging up to your window.

"I didn't expect to see you off work," he said, taking in your appearance. You were sure you looked exhausted, because you hadn't been sleeping properly. You didn't want to admit it, but you slept best in bed with him, and you felt so far away from him that it had disrupted your sleep schedule entirely.

"I hired someone," you said simply, your grip on the steering wheel so tight that your knuckles lightened in color.

"Will you come over later?" You were unsure of what to say. You wanted to talk but you were scared of what Aaron was capable of--he'd lied to you so easily and without a second thought; your trust would have to be earned back, because right now, there was very little. You wanted to believe that he hadn't meant anything, that he truly cared for you, but the truth was that you couldn't know.

"I don't know," you said, staring straight ahead so you didn't have to meet his eyes.

"Okay. I can wait. But if you change your mind, I'll be up."

You managed to get pulled out of the driveway before Jonah started asking questions.

"Are you mad at him? He seemed sad today," Jonah spent most of his free time at your house with Aaron. The two of them were really close now, and of course Jonah would pick up on his different behavior.

"He uh, he lied to me." You didn't want to explain it all because you didn't want to taint Jonah's opinion of him, but you had to tell him something.

"People lie sometimes. If he doesn't do it again, could you forgive him?"

You shrugged, because you'd need his completely transparency from here on out--he'd never be able to keep a secret from you again without you being leery of his motives.

"I'd like to think so, but I haven't talked to him in a week." You had actively stayed away from anything that would remind you of him, which meant when you left in the mornings, you didn't even glance in the direction of his house. You'd be lying if you said you didn't miss him though--you still loved him, despite everything that was happening.

"You should give him another chance. He's happy with you," Jonah suggested as you pulled into the store. You split up--Jonah grabbed the household essentials while you got groceries, planning to cook dinner before you had to get Charlotte from work.

He met you when he was finished, his cart full of the items on your list. You checked out and headed for home, starting dinner as soon as you arrived. You made fried chicken, which was just finishing up around time for you to go get Charlotte. Jonah stayed behind as Charlotte told you how her night had went, and how helpful Kay had been.

"She'll be ready for a solo shift by next week," Charlotte told you, and you hoped she could handle it, because you and Charlotte would be in school soon and you'd need someone dependable around to help out.

"Dinner is ready at the house," she nodded, judging your mood before she said anything, afraid of upsetting you.

"Did you break up with Hotch?" You we're shocked she didn't ask sooner, but she deserved an answer regardless.

"No--I don't know. We're not talking right now," you replied, watching her face fall a fraction as she asked why.

"He lied to me--I was so sure he was someone I could trust," you were sad just talking about it, you were nowhere near ready to face the source of your frustrations; talking to him would just make things worse.

"You guys are so good together. You don't think you can work it out?" His lights were still on when you pulled in the driveway, but you still weren't sure. You had dinner with the kids, and once they went to bed, you laid in your own and wrestled with your thoughts. You'd had a week to process everything, to come to grips with the facts, and it still wasn't any easier to deal with. You weren't sure if talking to him would help any, but you were already making the walk across the street and knocking on his door.

He opened it quickly, but he was still surprised to see you on the other side of it. It was odd, not reaching out and hugging him instantly, crossing your arms instead, not really sure how to act.

"It's late, want to come in?" You shook your head, staying in your spot on the porch, everything you'd planned to say had escaped you the minute he opened the door.

"I don't know what to do."

His face softened as he stepped outside, offering you one of the patio chairs he had on his porch. You sat down and he did the same. It was a pretty night, quiet. The crickets and owls were in full swing around you as you fixed your gaze on him. He looked back at you, almost like he wanted to smile at you but thought better of it because you weren't in the mood.

"I'm sorry. You deserve so much more than an apology, but for what it's worth, everything I feel for you is real. I never lied about my feelings for you," he said firmly, confirming the one thing you'd needed to hear the most in order to start forgiving him.

"You knew I don't know anything about Marty. Why me?"

His hands were clasped together, his legs spread, making him look like a stone statue of a Greek God instead of a perfectly flawed human; his looks were one thing you couldn't resist, even from the very first day. Now, you were still enthralled by him, in love with every feature--you were just angry.

"I know that. I needed a reason for why I was spending so much time with you, and Marty was the perfect excuse to give my boss. When Marty found out, he said something before I had a chance to explain. It was never about getting information."

You were starting to put it together and make sense of it, but part of you was still upset. You sat quietly, listening to the sounds of the earth spinning around you, life not stopping back to aid in making sense of your misery. The world continued to turn despite the way you were feeling inside, and you weren't sure if you'd recover from the harsh sting the events had left you with, but you could try.

"I like having you in my life but I need to know that I can trust you," you said softly, meeting his gaze under the ambience of the porch light. You could see the regret on his face, the remorse behind his big, brown eyes. You knew the distance between you was killing him just as badly as it was you, and he was the only person that could do anything about it. You had to know he was for real this time, and not just staying in your life to gain information that you didn't have.

"You can. I've always told you the truth, even when I didn't want to. Times I knew it would make you upset, I still chose the truth because you deserve that from me."

He moved his chair a bit closer, reaching out for your hand. You let him take it; securing around your own for the first time in a week.

"I should've known you were running the investigation. You always knew a little too much," you changed the subject to see if he would remain truthful or not.

"Obviously you weren't supposed to know that. I wasn't ever going to tell you--it's part of the job. I've been building a profile with the director of the FBI on Marty for two years now, just based on his behavior. I didn't meet him until I started seeing you."

So he knew Marty was guilty the entire time, he just couldn't say for certain because of his job. You realized how secretive his life could be but you were willing to embrace it, opting to take the challenges rather than lose him now, after building a relationship with him.

"I won't say anything, but you know that already," he squeezed your hand, giving you a minute to process everything. You were satisfied with his explanation, it filled in all the gaps in the story and it made sense, so you were working your way back to normal, in a sense.

"I don't want us to be apart," he said after a moment, coming to the ground in front of you, his arms on your lap before wrapping around your waist, his face against your chest. You held him close; you had missed him, being able to touch him, talk to him. He was becoming your best friend, and you'd been away for a week--it had been hard.

"Me either," he looked up at you, at eye level with you as he raked his hand over your hair before coming to rest against your cheek, his thumb brushing your skin gently.

"I love you. I wish I would've made it to you first. I could've explained everything, baby. I swear I was going to tell you, but I knew when I saw Marty that he was going to beat me to it." He leaned forward slowly, not sure if you'd kiss him back until you let your eyes close and brought your mouth to his. He sighed into you as you traced his bottom lip with your tongue, begging him silently to let you taste him; his mouth opened eagerly for you, his hands weaving into your hair as he worked his arms under your legs so he could stand up with you, pressing your back against the door.

"Will you please come inside?" He asked again, and this time you nodded, reaching behind you to open the door so he could take you in. He carried you blindly to the bedroom, kissing you the entire time, bumping into things along the way. He made sure he didn't drop you though, his hands secure under your thighs, your legs wrapped around his middle.

"I missed you, Aaron," he kissed along your jaw, pausing in the middle of his bedroom floor to kiss you, your teeth colliding on impact--from the way he was acting, life hadn't been the same without you around.

"I missed you so much, baby. Please don't ever make me be away from you again," he pleaded, laying you down gently on the bed so he could shamelessly scan your body, his fingertips lifting the hem of your shirt. He bent down, kissing your stomach and hips, working to pull your pants down your legs. He kissed your panty line, leaving them on for now as he situated between your spread legs, running his hands along your calves and thighs. He pressed a kiss to your clit over your panties, making you lean up on your elbows to watch him, your lip pulled between your teeth as you stared at him.

"You're absolutely drenched, baby. These panties are ruined--can I have them?" He slid them down your legs before tossing them on his dresser, not waiting for an answer. You nodded anyway, making him smirk up at you from between your thighs. He kissed you from hip to hip, leaving a blazing trail of heat in his wake, your arousal on the pillowy inner flesh of your thighs as he put his mouth everywhere except for where you needed him the most.

He teased you further by undressing, taking his time with his clothes and then the rest of yours, sitting you up so he could remove your shirt and bra, his fingers latching onto your nipples as his mouth covered your chest. Just when you thought you couldn't stand it anymore, he nuzzled your inner thigh with his nose, parting your legs further, your clit on full display for him as he kissed it, swirling his tongue around you right after. You couldn't help the moan that fell from your lips, causing him to smile as he fixated himself on your center, lapping hungrily at you. Your head fell back against the mattress, your legs shaking as you came. He groaned, burying himself further into you, his eyes closed as he got lost in you.

"Fuck, baby, I've missed this. You taste so good," his tongue slid through your folds, swiping delicately at your clit as you came undone once more, begging him to come and kiss you. He sat up, meeting your lips hastily. He was already working to angle himself on top of you so he could ease into you, the tip of his cock teasing your entrance.

"Don't make me beg," you told him, exhaling deeply as he made himself at home inside of you, his pace slow and sensitive, his hand reaching for yours.

"I love you," you said through gritted teeth, the pressure building in the pit of your stomach as his dick glided expertly against your g-spot, your release hitting you in waves of pleasure that you rode out with his dick sliding into you; you barely had time to recover between orgasms. He was making sure you knew how much he'd missed you, going as slow as possible, focusing all of his energy on making sure you felt loved.

"I love you, Sweetheart. Look at me; I want to see your pretty face when I cum," he said, moaning your name as he gave you every drop of his release, his fingertips pressed harshly into your thighs. You pulled him down to kiss him, finding your shirt and putting it on, letting him clean you up.

"Will you stay with me tonight?" You asked as he got dressed, watching the muscles in his abdomen tighten and flex as he pulled on his shirt.

"Of course I will."

✨✨✨

The Byrde Family Foundation was started by Wendy to bring rich people and politicians together, and it was proving to be successful considering Wendy had received a 150 million dollar donation to start it from a pharmaceutical company she was partnering with. Marty was explaining it all very loosely, but it was their way of turning their business legitimate.

Something had happened with their original deal--of course no one would tell you anything other than it didn't work out, but now they were looking for another way to stay out of prison, and still have their wealth, and this was the solution.

"Things with the FBI have calmed down. Maybe the kids could come home for a bit," Marty suggested, but Charlotte politely declined when he asked her. She was working and saving money and she didn't want any part of Marty's schemes.

"That's fine, I understand," Marty told her, although you knew he was upset that his daughter was beginning to resent him for the live he'd chosen to give them.

"Jonah might, but he and Hotch have been spending their days together, so I dunno," Charlotte said, and Marty immediately turned to you for confirmation.

"They get along well, Marty," Marty knew you and Aaron had worked things out, but he wasn't happy about it and he made that incredibly obvious.

"As long as he's not turning my kid against me," Marty huffed, and you assured him that you and Aaron never talked about him around the kids, which made him visibly relax some. He called Jonah who said he'd come visit for a bit, so it would only be you and Charlotte at the house until he came back.

"You put Kay on the schedule to close tomorrow alone?" Charlotte asked, and you nodded, because Kay was more than ready. She had serving experience, and she'd gotten acquainted in the dining room quick, learning the way you did things with ease. She was about to come in to relieve you so you could go to the store before Charlotte got off work. Aaron was going to pick you up and bring you back later for your car and Charlotte.

"She'll be fine. We have plans," you were taking her shopping for all the hard work she'd been doing since she'd been staying with you. She could use some more stuff for your house and you wanted to spend the day out with her while you could.

You were in the office when Kay came in to start her shift. She'd been on the clock ten minutes when Aaron came in, sitting at the bar. Charlotte came to tell you he'd arrived with a grimace on her face, pointing towards the dining room.

"Kay's totally hitting on Hotch," she said, a bit of annoyance in her tone. You came out from the office and sure enough she was leaned forward at the bar, putting on her flirtiest look and batting her eyelashes at him. He was unamused, his eyes seeking you out as soon as you rounded the corner.

"There's my girl," he said rather loudly, making sure Kay heard him as he stood up and came towards you, wrapping you up in a hug.

"The new waitress has no shame," he said low enough for only you to hear, chuckling lightly as he pulled back to look at you. You were about to leave when Kay approached you to apologize, explaining that she didn't know he had a girlfriend. You told her it was fine but let her know that you were together so she didn't get any ideas. Something about the mischievous look in her eye said you hadn't dealt with the last of her messing with your man, and you didn't like that one bit.

"She was bold," he told you as soon as you stepped foot outside, his hand in yours.

"I hate that. She apologized but it didn't feel sincere," you replied, a hint of jealousy flooding your mind. You'd never been jealous before and you hated the feeling it left you with. You knew Aaron wouldn't ever accept any advances from another woman, but other women certainly liked him.

"You have nothing to worry about. Nobody compares to you, baby."

You managed to finish dinner twenty minutes before you had to go grab Charlotte. By the time you made it to The Blue Cat, things were quiet on the inside. Kay and Charlotte were nearly finished for the night, counting down the tip jar so they could leave for the night.

"So you two are like sisters?" Kay asked Charlotte, looking between the two of you.

"Pretty much," Charlotte told her before you could respond, and Kay nodded, staying quiet around you. You assumed she was embarrassed about the events from earlier.

"I always wanted a sister," Kay sighed, and Charlotte smiled to herself before looking to you, winking back at you. You returned her smile before locking up for the night, letting Kay and Charlotte follow you out.

"I'll come by at closing tomorrow to lock everything up," you told Kay, who was working her first shift alone tomorrow night. It was a Tuesday night so she wouldn't have to deal with the weekend rush, and she'd be fine.

Charlotte sat in the back, talking about how the day had gone after you left. She said Kay acted weird all day, but you hadn't spent much time with her to know about how she was when confronted with an unpredictable situation.

"She seems okay," Charlotte assured you, which was enough for you not to worry about it. If she didn't work out, you'd find someone else to hire, even if it meant bringing someone in full time. You could afford to cut back your hours because of the money you generated by owning the place, but Charlotte needed her hours.

By the time you arrived home, Charlotte was ready for bed. She ate dinner with you guys and went to sleep. You and Aaron finished dinner and went to your bed, turning on a movie.

"It felt weird, not having Jonah here today," Aaron said, the two of you in the dark except for the tv.

"Yeah it did. I hope he comes back soon," you said, rolling over so Aaron would cuddle into you, both of you on your sides.

"Me too. Things are only quiet at Marty's because we're waiting to make a move," he told you, even though he shouldn't. You didn't want to know--you didn't need to.

"Regardless, Jonah will be back soon. Wendy's a lot to deal with," she was ruthless and calculated, never stopping until she had what she wanted, and that was unprecedented wealth and power.

"Dealing with the Byrdes dysfunctional relationship makes me grateful for ours. I've never been in love like this before. It's easy--it just feels right." You rolled over so you could kiss him, your face pressed against his chest. He wrapped his arms around you, smothering you in kisses until you were giggling, trying to wiggle away from his grasp. His body pinned yours to the bed, kissing you all over.

"Shh, you're going to wake Charlotte up," he said, amused at the situation, his hips keeping you held down at the waist, his body leaned forward, his arms on either side of you. He kissed the tip of your nose before climbing off of you, letting you get comfortable in bed once more.

"I love you, Aaron," you said softly, his arm thrown over you, gripping your waist.

"I love you, baby."

✨✨✨

Kay was still acting strange when she showed up for her shift the following day. She approached you, making small talk at first, and then her questions fell to Aaron.

"Why does everyone call him Hotch?"

You turned to look at her before explaining that Hotchner was his last name and Hotch was what he went by; she was quick to point out that you didn't call him Hotch, wanting to know why.

"I'm not everyone else," you said simply, counting out the tip jar so you and Charlotte could leave for the day. Aaron was still at work but you'd be seeing him later--he was going to ride to The Blue Cat with you later to lock everything up.

"Y'all have fun!" Kay called as you and Charlotte left, exchanging a look once you were in the car.

"She likes Hotch," Charlotte said, making a face as you pulled out. You were going to the mall, making coffee your first destination as you pulled in a small drive thru.

"I can see it too. He's not interested, obviously. I just hope it doesn't become a problem," she had a strange fascination with your man that you weren't okay with, but other than that, she was a good worker and you were glad you hired her.

"She asked me how often he came in after you left yesterday. Just make sure he doesn't show up when it's just her working," Charlotte warned as you pulled into the mall. You shopped for a couple of hours, finding a new things to add to your wardrobe along with some lacy underwear to wear for Aaron. By the time you left, you had just enough time to make it to your house to grab Aaron. Charlotte promised to wait up for you, and Aaron slid in your passengers seat, kissing you across the console before you pulled off.

"Did you have a good day?" He listened to you tell him about your day, about the pleasant change of not closing the restaurant, even though you were technically still going to lock up, you weren't exhausted like normal.

"I'm glad you were able to act normal for once. You and Charlotte should try to make more time for girl days. They're good for you, you're glowing," he said as you pulled into the marina, the cabins full of guests, the parking lot empty except for Kay and Dave. They were standing outside having a smoke when you showed up, talking to one another.

"How'd it go?" You asked her, and she said things went fine, she didn't have any issues. You didn't miss her not so subtle glances in Aaron's direction, or the way he moved closer to you in retaliation to her unwanted stares, following you inside so you could shut things down for the night. You turned off the lights and locked up before everyone left, Kay leaving last, shooting you both a friendly smile and wave before she left.

"That girl is trouble," Aaron said finally, and you asked him what he meant, because other than stare him down, she'd done nothing wrong.

"She knows I have you and she doesn't care. It's disgusting, honestly. No morals," he told you, taking your hand as you drove.

"I hate the way she looks at you," you said, slightly annoyed that she was so brave to do it right in front of you.

"The only person I want to look at is you," he promised, following you inside your house. Charlotte was making dinner--she cooked every time she had the chance. She was settling in well to living with you, and she never caused any problems, so it was an ideal situation.

"Dinner's done," she announced, so you all sat down and ate, and when Aaron spoke up, it took you slightly by surprise.

"You two should be proud of yourselves. I've watched you both work every single day for months and you have never complained once."

Charlotte looked at you, tears welling in her eyes as she looked down at her plate.

"I wish my Dad would say that," she sniffled, and Aaron looked to you, hoping he hadn't said the wrong thing.

"Your parents should be very proud. You're the most hardworking kid I've ever seen," he continued, making her frown turn into a smile in an instant.

"I learned from the best," she looked to you, her foot kicking yours beneath the table. You grinned back at her, thankful for your little group of people that were more than friends, they were family, and you were so lucky to have them.

Master tags: @wheelsupkels @periodtcevans @hausofwhores @criminallyobsessedcm @tojithesourcerkiller @fireworksinthesky @realdirectionx

[blueboyluca]

I'm back to being frazzled at training, which I hate. I really need to work on my own routine to get the most out of the limited time I have to myself. Last night I was trying to demo the tandeum turn for people, but that just meant I had more eyes on me and felt more anxious and distracted about training Marceline and I was giving her bad and unclear cues. I'm lucky she engaged at all to be honest, let alone happily. But she didn't give me a lot of attention and I bet that was because of how frazzled I was.

I did everything anxiously fast last week and I knew that wasn't sustainable, so I consciously was slower this week, but I also skipped steps and didn't plan well. I forgot to film, which is always a sign I'm not fully paying attention. I need to figure out a better system for myself.

I arrive at 6:30 so that I can give Marceline an off-leash run before I tie her up to set up. Set up takes about half an hour. Then I explain what the training plan is for the Trialler class, and then I run first. This is where I get distracted and frazzled, and don't do my established routine properly and then it falls apart when I'm actually training. The idea here is that I give Marceline a short break, then I do the second activity set up for the Triallers (usually a single obstacle to work on). This week it was weaves, which went poorly as well but mostly because we haven't practiced in ages. So I also need to get back to practicing weaves.

Anyway and then from 7:30 I move to the second yard and set up for the Pre-Triallers (I can't think of another way to do this because I can't run two classes at once and I don't want to leave us staying out until after 9pm if we start later). If Marceline is amenable I do another run with her as a demo, then leave her alone for the rest. I have to give my full attention to the Pre-Triallers because I'm trying to get them up to a trialling level.

I've inherited this entire situation from the previous president. I haven't found a perfect solution because I can't seem to recruit new instructors. And I don't like the way the previous president did it, by having the Foundations and the Pre-Trialler at the same time, which is running two classes at once. This doesn't work for me at all, it splits my attention and makes me a bad instructor.

We have two nights of training a week, and I'm instructing on both of those nights – one class on Tuesdays and two classes on Thursdays. I'm thinking if I want dedicated time on equipment for myself, I'm going to have to come out extra early on a Tuesday to have time to myself to practice before I take the Foundations students. I used to think coming half an hour earlier would be enough time, but inevitably people arrive early and want to talk to me. The more I have to pay attention to other people's training, the worse my own training gets.

I've only had two weeks so far with the full training schedule, so my hope is that things will get easier as everyone works out the new schedule. I hope that I can sort out my own routine, if not I think I'll have to go for the earlier start on Tuesdays just for myself.

[dearweirdme]

Hi!

So, I wanted to ask what are your thoughts on Taekook not appearing in a new Samsung campaign.

So, in the last 24 hours Samsung held their Unpacked event where they presented new flip and fold phones, as well as a smartwatch and a tablet. Yoongi was the only member who actually attended the event. Makes sense to me since he is an obvious loyal fan of the brand and also the one who composed several ringtone for them. As the event was happening/happened official Samsung accs posted two set of pictures of the members holding the phones. Here's one of the threads.

https://twitter.com/SamsungMobileUS/status/1684292504932302854?t=q8znW-FwoiAbb6nAbE1LJQ&s=19

As you can see only 4 members are there. Namjoon, Yoongi, Hobi And Jimin.

Some people started wondering why Taekook hasn't made an appearance (the campaign was obviously shot after Jin enlisted so no mystery here). Some think that maybe two of them didn't renew but I don't think it's true.

I, in my head, came with a few theories.

First of all, I think that Taekook will appear in the next campaign for their new galaxy phones that will come out in the beginning of 2024 (Feb / Mar).

Now, the reason for that maybe either solely due to the contract with Samsung running out or also planned around Taekook's later album releases and enlistment.

In the first case, the contract is ending so Samsung decided to split the last appearance by the group in two (since they can't get OT7 anyway) or probably even three with Jin advertising similar product a year later after discharge. So now it's NJ, YG, HS and JM, Taekook in Feb and Jin a year later. And after that contract finished. (Samsung may be also trying to stretch their appearances until full discharge of all the members in 2025)

In the other case, maybe NJ, YG, HS and JM advertising now because NJ, YG and JM will soon all go to the military after NJ and JM release (?) their projects. That will leave Tae and JK to do the galaxy campaign in Feb together while releasing their albums in late 2023 and possibly in early 2024. And then they enlist together.

I feel like this Samsung ad split confirms (sort of) that NJ, YG and JM will leave (together) sooner than Taekook.

So what do you think, is it simply Samsung trying to smoothly finish the contract) wait till full discharge to renew) OR it has something to do with album and enlistment plans?

Hi @madmadmadalice!

I'm not actually sure what to think of it. But, I do think it's possible Tae and Jk just didn't sign on for Samsung this time. Assuming there hasn't been a longstanding contract to abide to, they do have the luxury of choosing this time maybe. It coud be a case of schedules not matching even. I don't see this as much of a big deal, though it does stand out. Maybe you are right and they will appear in a different add later on. We'll have to see how it goes. THings like this often start making more sense after some time has passed.

I do think Namjoon and Yoongi will be enlisting soon. Jimin is a complete mystery to me, since some things make it look like he will have another album out.

[junipersramblings]

An Aroace Perspective on the Problem of Playing "Hard To Get" (Vent post)

So, for those of you that don't know already, I'm an aroace cis female, and I'm a high schooler. Apparently, I'm also fairly good looking, but I don't really have any opinions on that and frankly don't give a shit about dressing to look nice unless it's because I want to.

As you can imagine, this is a great combination of traits /s

I'm putting the actual vent under the cut so if you don't want to read this you don't have to.

I've always thought the concept of playing "hard to get" was strange, even before I figured out that I'm Not Straight. My thoughts were always "why would you want someone who keeps asking you out after you say no? Wouldn't you want to date someone who just leaves you alone if you reject them?" and that remains my perspective today, knowing what I do about myself now.

As for why I'm making this post today? Well, I highly doubt he'll ever see this, as he doesn't know I have a tumblr, let alone my url, but if he ever does? Well, this one's for you (derogatory)

This all started near the end of Year 8 (I'm Year 10 now). We're in the same homegroup, and so we're stuck with each other for two hours a week, every week, until we graduate. We had an assembly and we were sitting in homegroup rows, the same way we always do. By pure chance, I ended up sitting next to him, and happened to overhear him talking with a couple of his friends about a girl he liked, until one of them saw me and said "dude she's right next to you".

His response to this was to ask me out to dinner. (Bear in mind, we're both barely fourteen at this point).

I said no, and he turned back to his friends, disappointed. One of them told him he "hadn't asked me out correctly". Nearly two whole years later, and I still don't know what that means. So he turned back, and he asked me out again. I don't even think he changed how he said it.

Shockingly, I said no.

After that, he asked me what my type was, and I said "uhhhh I dunno. Not you?", since I was still figuring out my sexuality at the time, and quite frankly had no fucking clue what my type was. He seemed disappointed again, but let it go, and that was it for a whole year.

Then at the end of Year 9, we were given the schedule for activities week, which was the final week of the year, and a way for everyone to relax. Everyone in Years 7, 8 and 9 would be split up into four roughly equal groups, and rotate through activities for the entire week. It was actually pretty fun tbh. We went to a water park and a swimming pool, and I ended up really enjoying myself.

But when we were given the schedules, I had the bad luck to be sitting next to the guy that this whole post is about. He asked me what my favourite colour out of the four options (red, blue, yellow and green, the usuals) was, and I said green, so he started talking about how we should both be in the green group, and it'd be like a date. At this point in time, we didn't even know if we could choose our groups (spoiler: no we could not). I completely ignored him, as by this point in time, I was pretty certain of my sexuality, and even if I was proved wrong, it wouldn't have been by him.

Once again, things were pretty chill for a while. A month or two ago, I overheard him talking to his friends about me again, and realised "oh great, he still likes me". Fun times.

Today was when everything went properly wrong though.

Him and his friends have developed this annoying habit of beating pretty much everyone, including the teacher, into homegroup, and locking the door once they're in, so I have to cut through the neighbouring room, which happens to be three of my closest friends' homegroup. (This isn't really necessary for the explanation, but two of these friends happen to be the ones mentioned in a minute)

So I walk in and unlock the door, my usual routine these days. In fact, I unlock, test if the mechanism that keeps it open is working, and prop the door open with the bin when it becomes clear that the mechanism is broken. While this is happening, the boy (who from now on will be referred to as Rat Man, since he kinda looks like one (but like the rats you see in new york sewers in animated films), and it's clearer than just referring to him as "the boy") and his friends are pretty much heckling me from the back of the class, telling me to be a rebel and lock the door, and then Rat Man calls out "DO IT FOR [FRIEND'S NAME]!" I stop and look at them, already pretty sure where this is going, and ask him what my friend has to do with any of this. He's not even in our homegroup for fuck's sake!

Our conversation goes pretty much like this:

Rat Man: You know, because there's a thing between you two, isn't there?

Me: What do you mean?

Rat Man: You're more than friends aren't you?

Me (to myself): Oh for fuck's sake.

Me (louder): There's nothing between us. [FRIEND] and I are just friends.

Rat Man and Co.: Sureeeeee

Me: We are!

Rat Man Sidekick 1: Oh he's just jealous.

Me: I can see that.

Sidekicks: OHHHHHHH

Sidekick 2: Wait, dude, if she's just friends with [FRIEND], then you have a chance!

Me (not missing a beat): No he doesn't.

Sidekicks: OHHHHHHHHHHH

And from there, they start suggesting anyone else I would go out with, starting with one of the other friends from the homegroup I cut through (who isn't even a boy, she's just not out to anyone except our friend group yet), then both of the sidekicks.

To absolutely nobody who has read this far's surprise, I said no to all of them, although I would happily be in a QPR with both of my friends that were mentioned.

The teacher's arrived now, and I get my name checked off on the role so I can go to the assembly about the snow trip that's coming up in a few months (big deal in Australia unsurprisingly).

After that finishes, there's about ten minutes of homegroup left, which I spend, in true Juniper style, writing a fic. (The Malevolent one!)

Afterwards, I confront Rat Man as we're walking to our next classes, none of which we share, thankfully, and tell him we need to talk. His friends respond to this by cheering and slapping him on the back because he's talking to me. They're mostly fairly stereotypical jocks, with the exception of Rat Man himself, who is one of the few people in our homegroup shorter than me (I'm 5'2) and wiry. Hence the rat comparison.

I don't even know how the conversation derailed so quickly, but in about a second, I'm being asked which of the three is the hottest, to which I respond with "None of you?" They insist I have to choose one, and I just shut up. They have to go a different direction to me, so I tell Rat Man we'll talk at lunch. I'm pretty sure I heard him shout "Love you!" as I was walking away, but I'm refusing to unpack that.

Lunch comes, and I eventually track him down, and ask him if he knows what aromantic and asexual mean. (Fuck you tumblr, aromantic is not spelt wrong)

I was prepared for a lot of different directions this could go, and so I'd made sure we were near a teacher if I needed the backup. What I wasn't expecting him to do was burst out laughing and nearly choke on his sandwich.

About thirty seconds later, once he's stopped almost fucking dying, and his friends have asked him what the fuck is wrong with him more than once, he manages to ask "Asexual? Isn't that what chickens are? You know, because they lay eggs?"

I'm starting to think he only passed Health and PE last year because he's good at sports and they count as one combined subject.

I explain what it actually means, and he goes "Oh, so you're rejecting me?"

Me: Yeah, for what, the second time today? Fifth time total?

One of his friends comes and pulls him away, and I'm already late for flute ensemble, so I go to where my friends are, we all have a mutual moment of "what the FUCK?" over what Rat Man thought being ace was, I eat my lunch, and go to flute ensemble.

Once that's over, I have Fashion Design, so I go to class and kind of just stare at the work I'm meant to do for half an hour, before the teacher asks me if I'm okay.

I ask if I can go to the wellbeing office, because I'm having a bad day.

I'd spent the entire lesson up to that point gradually feeling shittier and shittier about what had happened with Rat Man at lunch, since I REALLY hadn't wanted to come out to him, but it seemed like the only way I could maybe get him to leave me alone.

I don't even know if it worked.

I spoke to a teacher, they were really nice about it, and I'm feeling better now, but it still really fucked me up.

The thing about playing "hard to get" is it means that sometimes, some people just can't take a hint. They're so used to the idea of girls that mess around to find someone who will be loyal to them that they assume that's what everyone is doing, and then shit like this happens.

So yeah, fuck the whole idea of playing "hard to get". It's bullshit.

[casspurrjoybell-24]

Sugar Punch - Chapter 42

*Warning Adult Content*

- Maddox -

It was fight night and I felt more pumped up than usual.

After I spoke with Clary about our relationship and how things currently were, it came to my attention that I wasn't the only one feeling like this relationship was working and as much as I wanted to try and make it work with her, it was hard to argue with how I really felt.

Clary and I broke things off two hours later because who was I kidding?

I wasn't making her happy and I didn't want to make her miserable with my shit and my schedule that clashed with hers.

We came to the point where we both agreed that we only had sex between us and no feelings, which I didn't disagree with, I had tried to be good to her but the connection I felt with Theo wasn't there when I was with Clary.

I hoped things wouldn't come to this but it always does and I was just surprised we lasted this long before I somehow fucked it up or before we both grew apart.

As much as I felt like a bastard for thinking but the moment the left my penthouse I felt the happiest I've ever been since I started seeing her, which isn't fair, I felt like a dick as soon as the thought came to mind.

Clary was perfect for me in every way, everyone thought so but that was the problem, I couldn't find anything wrong with her and for some reason it bugged me that everything she did was flawless and whatever she said was right.

In the end, all I got from the relationship with her was sex and even then, I felt like something was missing.

"Hey man the crowd out there is wild, we're a full house," Jordan said, coming into the room, his face covered in sweat.

"Hmm" I mumbled, wrapping my hands in tape as I cleared my head of Carly and started focusing on tonight's fight.

Victor Geoff was my opponent tonight.

He was a big name in kickboxing, when I first started I looked up to Victor as he was the only fighter who made it look fun, I became a fan and watched him fight whenever I could, so tonight meant a lot to me, that I got to go against someone I've looked up to since I was a brat.

I needed to get my head straight though, this shit with Carly couldn't have ended at a more perfect time, as bad as it sounds, if I was still with her, I'd be losing my mind out there, I just knew it.

Going up against Geoff got my blood pumping and because of that I was hyped to get out there and do my thing the only way I knew how.

"Oh, did you hear whose here tonight?" Jordan asks, as I look at him and shrug.

Lots of people were here tonight, the fight sold out in hours the moment the tickets went live, I knew big name celebrities were here tonight to watch this fight go down, it was a fight not only I was buzzed about but many other people too.

"Theo's here," he announced and I felt my whole-body flinch.

'Huh?'

"What?"

'Theo was here?'

Did I hear him right or was I seriously still out of my mind because of who I'm minutes from going up against.

"Yeah, you know, Theo," he laughed. "I just saw Tony and he said he gave him tickets on Thursday after their session together, brought his boyfriend too."

It felt like a gold bucket of ice water was poured over my head as I pondered what just left his mouth, my stomach twisted painfully as I looked away from Jordan's face and down at my hands, that were starting to sweat.

"Do you want me to go grab him? It's been forever since we saw him..."

"No."

I stood up, as my head felt like it was splitting in two.

If Theo was here, for whatever reason, I wanted to keep my head in the game and knowing that he's here, right now to watch me fight.

It threw me off more than I liked to admit, I half wished Jordan never told me.

"What happened between you two anyways? I thought things with Theo were... good?"

Hah... seriously, my heart felt like it was choking in my chest as he kept saying his name, it made me feel dizzy and nauseous as I pressed my hand to my chest, as I tried to control my breathing.

'What the fuck is wrong with me?'

It's almost like I'm nervous that he's here, it's been two fucking years and I'm still like this at the mention of his name, I must be out of my damn mind.

"Do..." I sucked in my bottom lip as I stared at the door. "Do you know his seat number?" I asked, hating that I asked, knowing fully well that this wasn't healthy.

"I think he said B side, second row... why?" he hummed. "Want me to go grab him real quick? We still got time before they need you out there."

Fuck... I wanted to see him, just to see how much he changed and how much he had changed, it's been so long and he's been working out with Tony for a while now, he was on a food plan and I knew from Tony that he was doing well with fighting.

My heart was hammering against my chest and it felt painful thinking about him, someone I can't have, someone I still think about.

I never should have let him go...

"No… I need to focus on the match, just leave him be," I forced out, as I felt my mouth get dry.

Theo wasn't here to see me, to watch me fight maybe but he didn't want to talk to me and I don't blame him, there was also the fact he brought his boyfriend here, I wasn't a fucking idiot, my match was a date for them.

It made me feel fucking sick and there was nothing I could do about it.

The door suddenly opened and in walked Carly.

"Hey," she said, closing the door behind her.

She was dressed in a short diamond dress that barely covered her ass, she looked good and if I wasn't such a fucking bastard still hung up on a guy with a boyfriend, I'd be all over her like a flea.

"Didn't think you'd show up," I joked, making her giggle.

I went over to her and she wrapped her arm around me in a hug, before squeezing my arm in her hand, grinning up at me.

"Just because we're over doesn't mean we can't be friends, Mads," she said sweetly, as I smiled down at her.

There was a knock at the door, making all heads in the room turn to see who knocked and opened the door just enough to poke their head inside.

"Twenty minutes, Mr. Zane," one of the event staff said as I nodded my head.

They left and I sighed out, wondering if I could really go out there and give it my best, while my head was a mess from the known fact that somewhere out there, Theo was sitting in the crowd, waiting to watch me.

"I need to go check a few things, so I'll come back to get you when it's time, "Jordan said as I watched him leave the room, closing the door behind him.

It was just Clary inside the room with me now, I went and sat back down to check over my tape as I felt her sit beside me, as her leg brushed against mine and her hand going to rest on my leg.

"I know we never dated for long but I know when something is bothering you," Clary started, her has rubbing my leg as I turned to look at what she was doing. "I could... help you relax."

I moved her hand away and got back up from my seat, I started shaking my head frustrated as a laugh escaped my throat, not believing she's doing this right now, when I was moments away from an important fight in my career.

"Don't be like that Mads, it's not like it's the first time we had sex before you fought," she said, as I turned around and looked down at her.

'Wait, what the fuck?'

"I don't need your help and if that's why you're here I prefer that you just fucking left." I snap out, my leg feeling itchy from where her hand touched me. "If that's all you want, just fuck off and don't come back here."

She got up and huffed out as she walked past me, just then the door opened and Jordan poked his head in, his hand covering his eyes before he opens his fingers to peek through.

"Oh great, uh... they want you out early to check some stuff."

I nod my head and move past Clary and open the door and step out into the hallway, where a bunch of screaming fans being blocked by security started screaming my name as I started following behind Jordan.

After the event went over a few things about security with me really quick, my name was being called as they told me it was time for me to head out as Victor went first from how loud the screams were that I even heard them from behind two sets of steel doors.

Fuck, this was it, what I've been working towards my whole life, a chance to prove myself against one of the best fighters I had ever seen, I felt high on the adrenaline that started pumping through my veins, as I started walking towards where I needed to go.

"You ready for this?" Jordan yells in my ear over the screaming as I stood by the entrance to the ring, noticing the camera was on me as I nodded my head and put my mouth guard in.

I was fucking born ready for this, there was no doubt in my mind that once I stepped foot in the ring, everything else would just vanish away, and there only would be Victor and nobody else.

"I'm ready."

I hit my gloves together and saw that the fight screw gave me the go ahead to walk out.

I emptied my mind and focused on the fight ahead of me, I took the first step and focused on nothing but what was moments away from happening, as I didn't tear my eyes away from Victor, who was equally focused on me.

Let the fun begin. 

[ysabroadsk]

Yonsei University KLI Placement Test

This is one of the things that stressed me out the most about coming to Yonsei. In my home university, I studied to around TOPIK level 4 before coming to Korea but I was super nervous since I didn't know how the test would go and where they would put me.

If you put your Korean level as none, then you don't have to take the placement test and will immediately be put in level 1. If you don't, then you'll have to take the placement test if you intend to take Korean classes in KLI.

Everyone gets split into a bunch of classrooms to take the test. It's two parts: a written test and a short speaking test. The written test is a packet, composed of mainly multiple choice questions, that get harder and harder as they go on. There's no obligation to try and answer all of the questions and once you get to ones that you think you definitely can't answer, you can just stop there and hand in the paper. At the end of the packet there's an essay question you can answer, if you understand the prompt and feel comfortable with it. But again, you're not obligated to. The speaking test only takes a few minutes and is very relaxed. You go into a separate room with a teacher who asks you a few questions about yourself and what you know. For me, she just started asking about my name and where I was from, and then we moved on to slightly more complicated questions, a few of them asking if I'd studied certain grammar and if I could use it in sentences. I was really nervous about this part but it was much more relaxed and low-stress than I thought it would be.

A few days after you take the placement test, you find out your level and classroom assignment on the KLI website, and then about an hour or two later there's the KLI orientation. When classes start on the Monday after, you just make your way to your classroom and the teachers will explain how your class will work, the semester schedule, and some other things.

Honestly, I was a little embarrassed at first, but I got placed in level 3 following my placement test. I showed up in my classroom on the first day and I was just going to play it by ear because I wasn't entirely sure if it was an accurate placement or not. After the first day, I realized I already knew pretty much all of the grammar and vocab and definitely just messed up my test because I was stressed (lol), so I explained my situation to my teacher and asked if I could move up a level. Originally, they told me I would have to talk to the office but when I came to class the next day, they just moved me up into a level 4 classroom. I think sometimes they might make you talk to a couple of teacher and check if you can move up or not. But it was pretty smooth for me, luckily.

Regardless of where you get placed, all the teachers at KLI are so supportive and so nice to be around. The classroom environment is great and you get to meet so many different people. If you're coming to Yonsei and have to take the placement test, try not to worry about it too much!!

[i-can-even-burn-salad]

Moving

Thorns & Jasmine

In which more memories surface Breannan would have liked to keep buried.

Warnings: Nightmares, panic, aftermath of torture and some unpleasant healing the previous day, flashbacks to more angst, bad injuries and almost drowning, suicidal thoughts/attempt mention

Please note: There is a version without any references to suicide that can be found here, please be safe 💜

Previous | Masterlist | Next

The night was every bit as restless as Breannan had assumed. Caldyn kept waking up, sometimes screaming, sometimes merely shaking. It never took long for him to fall back asleep, probably due to both his exhaustion and Breannan’s closeness.

When the darkness outside the windows slowly faded, Caldyn awoke, for once not from a nightmare, but slowly. His hand on Breannan’s side twitched as he moved his head.

“Breannan.”

“I’m here,” he said, lightly stroking the back of Caldyn’s neck.

“How late?”

“It’s morning.” A quick glance towards the window confirmed it. “The sun is about to rise.”

Gwyneth would come back soon. Breannan only hoped that his friend would also still be able to trust her, after what she had had to do on the previous day.

“Sorry. Kept you up again.”

Whatever it was that Caldyn had heard on the previous day, it seemed to be gone now, or at least quieter. His words were still strained, but no longer as fragmented, the meaning behind them not as exhausted anymore.

“Don’t worry. I got to sleep yesterday, didn’t I?” Which of course meant he was tired again after spending the whole night awake, but it wasn’t so bad. And today wouldn’t be as horrible as yesterday, so he was sure he’d make it until the evening.

“Let’s get you some water,” he said, trying to keep himself busy and Caldyn distracted. It worked. First he helped his friend sit up again, then he reached for the cup. When Caldyn signaled him that he was done, Breannan filled it again for himself, drinking slowly.

“Breannan? Can we…” Caldyn paused, and Breannan gave him time to find his words. Whatever he’d want, if it was at all possible, he’d make sure to fulfill this wish.

“Can we… move the bed? To the wall?” Caldyn’s left hand brushed over the blanket, spread over soft moss and leaves. “Less… less open.”

“Of course.” Breannan looked around, scanning the room. One wall was fully covered with a grown shelf, one was free. Between the window, the door and other furniture, the other two didn’t have much room in front of them. “I’ll ask Gwyneth to help me with it when she comes. Then I can hold you while she moves the bed.”

It probably wasn’t exactly what the healer was coming here for, but he had no doubt she’d do them that favor. He faintly wondered if she’d be as relieved as he was that Caldyn was getting better. Not just physically. Breannan was so glad to see him get better mentally, to speak, to ask for things. Caldyn was fighting, and he’d be at his side for as long as he would want him there.

“Hey, it’s me,” Gwyneth announced herself a short while later.

“Hello, Gwyneth,” Breannan replied.

She entered the room, not carrying anything today. As she came closer, her gaze wandered over Breannan and her patient, and whatever it was she saw in them, it was enough to put a small smile on her lips.

“Alright,” she said as she settled down. “Let’s get those wounds closed.”

Breannan’s gaze automatically wandered to Caldyn’s chest. He had avoided taking a closer look at it so far, but it was less bad than he had feared. Not that it would be easy to be worse than it had already been; whatever small holes the thorns had left behind vanished between torn bark, and the fresh sap had long crystallized.

“Actually, would you mind helping us with something first?” he asked. When she looked at him questioningly, he gestured to the far wall. “We’d like to move his bed. If you could take it over there while I sit with him?”

“Sure.” She looked from the bed to the wall and back. “Might as well grab a new blanket while I’m on it, right?”

Breannan nodded as he pulled Caldyn closer towards him. Gwyneth walked around, picking up a fresh blanket and pushing the old one aside, so she could reach the bedding beneath it. She moved it over to the wall, eventually placing the fresh blanket on top, tucking it around the moss.

“Think that’s it,” she said, crouching down next to Caldyn and Breannan. “Now how do we get you over there?”

That was a good question; one Breannan hadn’t asked himself before. There was no way Caldyn would be able to walk, not even with their help. Breannan was a good deal taller than his friend, though, and would probably be strong enough to carry him, at least partially.

“I’d say I take your shoulders and carry you, and Gwyneth can make sure your legs are fine. What do you say?”

When Caldyn nodded, Breannan got up without letting go of him. He reached for Caldyn’s shoulders, grabbing him under the arms and pulling him up. Slowly, he half dragged, half carried Caldyn across the room, while Gwyneth made sure his legs weren’t moving any more than necessary. It was only a few steps, but Breannan was glad when he had reached the bed and was able to lower Caldyn down onto it. He tried to be as careful as possible, but he didn’t miss the way Caldyn clenched his teeth as his back touched the bed.

Lying down, Caldyn felt around, his fingers sliding over the blanket until they found the wall. He traced the faint patterns the plants had left behind when single strands had merged into one almost solid surface, years ago. “Thank you,” he said, turning his head, evidently not quite sure where Breannan or Gwyneth were standing.

“Of course,” she said, sitting down next to him. Now that there was a wall on the other side of Caldyn, Breannan would have a harder time staying at his side when she healed him. “How about I take a look at those wounds now?”

Caldyn nodded, but the moment Gwyneth reached for his chest, he flinched back against the wall.

She watched him, her hands hovering over him. “I won’t hurt you.”

“I… I know.” Despite his words, he flinched again when she reached for him. This time Gwyneth tried to go on, placing her finger next to one of the spots where she had removed the thorns. She didn’t get to start healing before Caldyn tried to crawl away, shaking visibly.

“Please, please don’t,” he whispered, the same kind of terror behind his words as the night before.

Gwyneth leaned back with a sigh, placing her hands in her lap.

“I’m sorry. I know… know it’s you. I can’t…” Caldyn’s voice broke and a few shaky breaths followed, while his hand slid searchingly over the wall. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright,” Breannan said. He understood his friend too well. “She won’t.” He wouldn’t let her. Not unless it was absolutely necessary, and it didn’t seem to be. He knew it would have been slightly easier to heal those wounds while they were fresh, but in the grand scheme of things it probably didn’t matter much.

“I’m not sure where to continue then,” Gwyneth said. “His back, so lying down won’t hurt as much, or his legs, so he can move again and possibly lie on his side.”

“You could ask him,” Breannan pointed out.

“I’m sorry. I’m not very used to my patients being…”

“Awake?” Caldyn asked.

Gwyneth made a quiet, embarrassed noise, confirming affirmation.

“I understand.” He paused, bending his head back and trying to move his leg. He sank back with a pained hiss, taking a moment before he managed to speak again. “Legs. Please.”

Gwyneth nodded and shifted to sit closer to them. “Usually someone else takes over at that point. When they’re… when it’s sure they’ll survive.”

Caldyn flinched as she put her hands near his left knee. “The blue house,” he then said. “I was there?” When she confirmed this as well, he added, “The small room?”

“You know about it?”

“I was invited there… once.” Caldyn’s voice was weak, but steady. “Didn’t go. Left the tree instead.”

“Right. Breannan said you are a healer.” Gwyneth moved his leg, tracing the ripped bark, starting to mend it. “And I can tell that you’re a good one.”

Breannan had quietly listened to the two of them. When they now fell silent, he couldn’t help but ask, “How do you know?”

It had been the wrong thing to ask, he knew it instantly, even if he had no idea what about his question had been wrong. Gwyneth froze, her hand hovering over Caldyn’s leg. She looked from him to Breannan, then at her hand, resting on Caldyn’s thigh.

“His legs. They were broken before,” she said quietly. “Possibly more than… once.”

When she paused, looking at Caldyn for confirmation, he nodded. The silent gesture was worse than anything he could have said. It made Breannan sick. Gwyneth had mentioned before how it was likely that the lost ones had forced his friend to heal himself until he had run out of energy to do so. Thinking about what exactly might have happened was different from bringing up the mere theory, though.

“Was there anything else you managed to heal?” Gwyneth asked, her gaze wandering over Caldyn’s body. “Anything I should check?”

Caldyn was quiet for a while. He raised his left hand, placing it over his left hip, close to his core. “I tried to… to escape. He was… he stabbed me. Here and…” His hand slid off as he tried to move it higher, and he didn’t seem to have the strength to lift it again. “I would have, but… I didn’t… didn’t want to… die. Then I sometimes… sometimes wished I had.” Caldyn’s voice was trembling, pain and fear and hopelessness behind the words.

Breannan scrambled a step back, trying to focus on breathing. He shouldn’t have asked. Of all the memories, this was the last one he could allow to take over. He looked at the window, at the dim light tinted green by endless leaves. He was home, under his parent’s branches, and his friend would be fine, and he was sitting at the shore of a long forgotten lake, his torso, bark crudely stitched together, hurting with every breath.

“But not any more?” Gwyneth asked, and Breannan tried to focus on her voice. Her movements were blurry before his tear-filled eyes as she checked the spots Caldyn had pointed to.

His hands, wrapped tightly in soft leaves, hurt even more. He was thirsty, but there was no way for him to lift the hollow pumpkin filled with water they had left next to him. He could call for them, probably, but with them they would bring those spoken words.

“No. No more.”

Words. Meaningless, terrible words. At least there was a hint of meaning behind them, of compassion and pity and rage. It wasn’t enough to truly understand them. It was still too much like the noises those horrible creatures had made.

Breannan had retreated into the corner of his study room. It was all he could do. He should get out, should run, he was too close to Caldyn. He didn’t want him to know, didn’t want him to feel, but there was no way he’d manage to get up, or stop it.

He stared at the water, glistening in the evening sun. If even his people used these sounds now, he’d never escape them. They had tried to teach him the names they had chosen, a single word for each of them. He couldn’t remember them, and he couldn’t repeat them. He didn’t want to.

“Breannan? What’s wrong?”

Someone touched him and he screamed; tried to scream, the noise that left his lips choked and breathless. He couldn’t breathe, no matter how hard he tried. His body was falling apart from the lack of air. It was terrible and familiar, promising numbness behind the panic.

Lish’s hands wrapped around him as she dragged him out of the water. Words and meaning, noise and worry, asking him what had happened. Breannan wasn’t sure what had happened. He had wanted to drink, without calling for anyone, and he had wanted to let the water take away the pain and the voices.

“Breannan? Are you hurt? What happened?”

He coughed, and it hurt in his chest, and they kept talking all around him, and it hurt in his head. He winced every time one of them spoke, the meaning behind the noise not enough to tell him what was going on.

“Gwyneth. Leave him. Please. He needs space.”

“But —”

“Please. Come here. Don’t talk.”

The voices were gone now. There was only the sound of the forest, of wind and rustling leaves and singing birds. Lish was holding him, her hand on his forehead, her hum carrying the promise of safety. The sun was sinking below the horizon, so low already he didn’t have to blink against its light. It was beautiful and quiet.

It was quiet. Quiet enough for Breannan to open his eyes, to see his surroundings. No lake and no sunset, just his study room. And on the far side, Caldyn sitting against the wall, Gwyneth at his side. Breannan met her gaze, so full of unspoken concern.

He couldn’t tell them, couldn’t speak. The words were forgotten. Gwyneth said something, and he couldn’t understand her either. The sound was enough to make him flinch again. Caldyn tapped her shoulder, lowered his head towards her, perhaps saying something. Breannan couldn’t hear it. She nodded, and she got up, and she left.

Breannan didn’t know how long he sat still, trying to calm his breaths. They didn’t hurt, not really, but he felt like they had to. After a while, he realized there was a sound, a low humming noise. It carried something. Meaning.

Come.

He didn’t think as he followed it, making his way across the room towards Caldyn. A hand searched for him, following the sound he had caused as he had settled down. Breannan reached for it, still unable to speak. He didn’t have to. The hand coaxed him to lie down, lying partly on the soft moss of Caldyn’s bed. Another hand found his forehead, stroking it lightly, and the hum returned.

Safe.

It was wrong. It should be him, comforting his friend. But he was so tired, and the memory still dangerously close. As he closed his eyes, he was back at the lake, Lish's hand brushing through his hair as she hummed quietly. He opened his eyes, and it was his friend’s hand, his hum carrying the same worry. He wanted to tell him that he was fine. All the words were gone from his mind.

The hum changed. Rest. The touch stayed the same.

Breannan closed his eyes. The smell of wet sand and seaweed from his memory mixed with the smell of dust and books in his study room. The touch was Lish’s and Caldyn’s and both and none. The meaning behind their hum told him that he was loved and safe. It was quiet. He slept.

Tagging: @villainsvictim​ @dont-touch-my-soup @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi​ @whump-cravings @frenchfries893 @siren-of-agony

[joekeeray]

A Simple Solution

pairing: Single Dad!Steve Harrington/Female Reader

summary: Robin proposes a solution to fixing Steve’s attitude due to the high stress of being a single father of an infant, and you decide to give it a shot when your solution fails.

warnings/extra tags: explicit smut, MINORS DNI, masturbation with help™, oral sex (male receiving), grinding, unprotected sex, thigh fucking, single daddy steve, snarky and stressed steve, steve in gray sweatpants, steve has a bit of a praise kink for a second, he also has a big dick no complaints here, he comes twice cause why not, beta read, edited by me

note: I've been writing a single dad steve series, and I needed to write this. tagging @gothbitchshit for no reason other than to say hi. Thank you for reading and please enjoy~

✦✦✦

Steve's son was only about 3 months old when you moved in. It was a mutual agreement between you two, from high school acquaintances to co-workers at Scoops Ahoy one summer turned friends now turned roommates years later, and Steve had made it clear to you that his son would never have to be your responsibility.

What he meant was that he'd never expect you to babysit him, make you buy him things like formula or diapers, or to even wake up and take care of him when he cries late into the night (as a housewarming gift he gifted you a walk-man for when that happens). And while you didn't actually mind having an infant in the house or helping Steve from time to time, you did respect these boundaries of his.

Steve wanted to do this on his own, and you understood that. After all, he did let you move in after you were evicted by your parents because an adult shouldn't be living with their parents still (their words) and he had an extra room. Also, he didn't exactly hate the idea of splitting monthly and weekly expenses with someone.

It wasn't like Steve didn't let you near his son or anything, in fact, he encouraged it, wanting his son used to people. You absolutely loved holding him and talking to him, you enjoyed reading to him too, especially when Steve would just fall asleep with him in his arms and you'd pick him up and take him to bed to let Steve sleep while you read him a story or told him about your day.

"How was your day? Ah, you're just a little baby," you would say as you changed him, "Your day was a random elderly woman cooing and saying hi to you, huh?"

And he'd just stare up at you with those big brown eyes that matched Steve's, and you'd sit down on the rocking chair with him in your lap while Steve got much needed rest on the couch in the living room.

That was pretty much it, but now that his son was around 6 months old...you did wish that Steve would let you help. More than just that, more than just watching him for about an hour because he needed to run out really quick, or handing him some bottles when he needed one. It was because, well, you could tell he was exhausted and could use a little more than the help you've been giving him.

Except, he stood by not needing your help, or anyone's help for that matter except for a paid babysitter whenever he was at work (which you found silly because you would watch him for free on the days Steve worked and you didn't).

All in all, you just wanted to help, but Steve was stubborn. Stubborn and tired...and he'd gotten a little snappy lately too.

It was a day off for you, and you were up early because his son typically woke you up around 5 am. He hadn't been doing it lately, but your mind clung to that sleep schedule.

You were standing in the semi-clean kitchen, well just unorganized really, and was making more bottles while flipping through a magazine after you decided to clean the dishes and other bottles left beside the sink from the night before.

You were shaking one and flipping the page of the magazine when you heard a door creak open from down the hall and looked up to see Steve entering the kitchen a few seconds later.

His eyes were squinted, his hair slightly greasy and sticking up in various directions, and he was only wearing a pair of gym shorts so his hair covered chest was on full display, not something you weren't used to. He stood for a good moment or two just staring at you, then at the bottles you had made.

"You...you don't have to do that," he said after rubbing his eyes, "I told you that you don't have to do...anything."

You set down the bottle you were shaking, which was actually the last one as you said, "I was awake, and had nothing else to do...so..."

He looked at all the bottles, a frown on his lips before he brought his hands to his face and sighed. You crossed your arms and leaned on the counter.

"Look okay, I told you when you moved in-"

"I know," you cut him off, "It's really not a big deal, Steve..."

"It's just- I told you I wanted to do this on my own-"

"And you have been," you told him sternly as you checked one of the bottles, knowing that Steve was up to go and feed his baby. You held it out for him, "I just wanted to help."

He stared at you, then at the bottle, and he took it from you while saying, "I literally never asked you for it, but whatever."

Before he turned away, he gave you one last look before walking back down the hall. You huffed, turning back to the bottles and thought he was being a bit much. You only made a few bottles, something you actually always did he just always thought he made more than normal.

"God, did I make this much? I'm so tired I don't even remember," Steve told you one Thursday night when he was going to give his son a bottle.

You decided then and there that you weren't going to hang out with him today like planned, and after putting them in the fridge (which was something you knew Steve would get snarky with about too but did it anyway) you went back to your room, but not before stopping in the doorway of his son's room and seeing Steve sitting on the rocking chair holding his newborn in his arms and smiling down at him as he fed him.

He still looked so tired though, but you continued to your room, lightly closing the door and grabbing the walk man so Tears for Fears could put you back to sleep for a bit.

✦✦✦

"God someone needs to get laid," Robin Buckley's voice echoed from beside you. You nearly choked on the pretzel you were currently eating while walking around at the mall that was a town over from Hawkins.

It was a nice half-way point between you, Nancy Wheeler, and Robin, who was actually Steve's best friend that you stole for a second since he hadn't even talked to her lately.

"Robin," Nancy was on the other side of you, shopping bags in one hand, "Don't say that so loud." Her blue eyes looked at the families around them and Robin cringed suddenly.

"Okay, but my point still stands, I know more than the normal person about Steve's sex life...unfortunately...and when he wasn't getting any, he got snarky like that," Robin said, and honestly, you think you knew what Robin was talking about too now, remembering particularly when working at Scoops together, the guy had a whole attitude until he was back in the game. 

Nancy just grimaced, "Well he is a single dad of a 6 month old, has he been out like at all?" The question was targeted toward you, and you lifted your head after biting into your pretzel and nodded.

"Yeah, he goes out...to get diapers and baby stuff...and to work," you said fully knowing that's not what Nancy meant. She gave you a look and you scoffed, "Other than that, no not really, he spends every day off at home, and we hang a lot in the house when it's both of our days off. We were supposed to today until he said that to me."

Robin hummed, "Can't really blame the guy though, right? The little guy is born, mother vanishes, he's all alone taking care of him...till you moved in. He's just stressed, right?"

You took another bite of your pretzel, teeth digging into the fluffy bread as you turned to look at Robin, "Well, I moved in to make it easier with bills and stuff but…no I messed up...he told me he didn't need help like that, and I overstepped."

"Well...out of all of us here, you're seeing it right? You said he's tired all the time, forgets to do things like make extra bottles because he's working so much and getting very little sleep...you were just trying to help," Nancy said with a shrug, and while that was true...you still felt bad.

Robin saw your conflicted expression and wrapped a friendly arm around you, "I'm sure it's fine, just you know, talk to him, express some friendly concern and maybe tell him my solution...or better yet, maybe help him with that solution?"

You snapped your eyes up to meet Robin's, feeling your cheeks heat up and she chuckled as she poked your nose, "I'm joking...but this is probably a good time to tell you that he did have a crush on you when we all worked together at Scoops Ahoy...and after that too."

You furrowed your eyebrows, then laughed in her face, "Robin, he had a crush on you."

"Yeah, he did, but for obvious reasons, that was never going to work out for him, but he liked you too, and for much longer than he liked me, so...I don't know..." Robin trailed off, and you sighed as you turned to look at Nancy.

"I would just talk to him, not about her solution because that would just make it weird," Nancy told you quickly, before she looked around and leaned in, "But...maybe he does need what Robin thinks, it doesn't have to be you though."

Your cheeks grew more hot, but there was another sort of feeling that stirred inside of you when you thought about Steve actively going out to find someone to sleep with. You took the last bite of your pretzel then and looked forward, thinking about what Robin and Nancy had said...and as your eyes caught a donuts shop you and he once went to before his son was born, you thought maybe instead of Robin's solution you could try another.

Later that night you returned to Hawkins with a couple of shopping bags, and a box of freshly made donuts that included at least three of his favorite one. It was their bear claws, and you knew this because Steve still brought it up sometimes, claiming he’d never have a donut like that again.

Steve was in the living room, sitting on the couch in front of his son who was sitting in a high chair. There was a jar of half-full baby food sitting on the tray portion, and Steve was leaning in and wiping his son’s face. He’d been trying to introduce him to solids since at the last appointment the doctor told him it was okay, but more food had gotten onto his chin rather than his mouth on this attempt. 

“That’s okay,” Steve told him with a warm smile as he wiped off the excess food on his lips, “We’ll try next time.” His son stared at him before the corner of his lips started to curl up and Steve chuckled as he leaned in and kissed his cheek affectionately, “You have a charming smile just like your daddy, huh? Yes you do. Gonna make all the boys and girls swoon with that smile." His son’s smile only grew, making Steve chuckle and kiss him again. 

You had entered through the door in the kitchen, and the door lightly slamming captured Steve's attention. He looked up, seeing an unreadable expression on your features when he saw you setting down things on the now clean kitchen counter.

"Uh, hey," Steve told you, then he looked back at his son with a grimace on his face because of how you just left after what happened in the morning. His son just stared blankly at him, as if trying to figure out why his dad’s face looked like that (He should know because Steve talked about it to him while he changed his diaper earlier).

"Hi," you replied back lamely as you started to remove your coat and set it down on the back of one of the stools in the kitchen. It was awkwardly silent, save for the late cartoons playing on the small tv.

Steve swallowed thickly, feeling bad about what happened in the morning, especially with how you two had plans today and you were mad enough to leave. He moved to stand, picking his son up at the same time and holding him against his chest as he entered the kitchen with you.

"So...how is Robin and Nance?" he asked you, eyes moving toward the various shopping bags, not having yet seen the donuts box you purposely set on the counter behind you.

"They're good, you should really give Robin a call though, she won't admit it but she misses your phone calls," you told him nonchalantly, "And I think she really wants to see the little guy again."

Steve watched a smile grow on your lips at the sight of his son, and it made him feel slightly warm, but also...regretful. He took a deep breath, wanting to make the feeling go away.

"Look, I had a very eye opening conversation with the little guy about what happened this morning,” Steve lightly joked, which didn’t fail to make your warm smile toward his son turn slightly amused, “And…I'm sorry…I know you're just trying to help out.”

You crossed your arms, choosing to lean on the counter again as your eyes lifted back up to Steve's as your expression turned more serious, "It's okay, you told me not to, but...I just see you struggling you know? And I want to help, and I don't mean act like his mom or something, just...like as a friend...or an unofficial aunt."

Steve stared at you for a moment, that warm feeling only growing, but he still felt a bit indifferent about it. You could tell by the way his expression faltered.

"I know, I know...it's just, he's my son? And I need to know that I can take care of him on my own because if I let you help then what would happen if you left? What if I just mess up because I’m incapable of taking care of my own kid?" he asked you genuinely because he had been thinking about that, too afraid he'd start relying on you so much that he'd be hopeless. He had already been through similar situations, sans being a single dad, and he was determined to never let that happen again where he was thrown into a responsibility he wasn’t ready for.

"Steve...you are such a good dad, I don't think that's possible," you said with a small laugh of disbelief, "Everything you're doing for him...working all those hours, spending every hour you aren't working with him...but that doesn’t mean you have to do everything on your own especially since help is just right here." 

“I know,” Steve replied, voice slightly hoarse. 

You were pushing yourself off of the counter now, going toward the box of donuts now, "I'm not going to do everything, just you know, make some bottles here and then, take care of him so you can sleep longer...maybe even watch him if you want to go out with some date or something...things like that."

Steve laughed at that, not at the whole thing, but the dating part and he said, "You seriously think I'm getting dates?"

"I don't know...some women like the whole single dad thing...you haven't noticed when we go out some are looking at you with major heart eyes, Steve?" you asked, "Especially when you do that baby talk to him? Some find it hot."

Steve furrowed his brows, then laughed again, "Right…” 

“It’s true,” you replied with a weak shrug, “There’s just something about the young dad vibe that is just incredibly attractive.” 

Steve stared at the back of your head, swiping his tongue over his suddenly dry lips, and he said, “Are you one of these women? It sounds like you're talking from experience."

You glanced over your shoulder at Steve before you opened the box of donuts that were still hidden from Steve's view and you replied, "I'm not immune to it."

At your confession, it made Steve's cheeks grow a bit pink but then his son was reaching up to touch his nose, distracting him. Steve grinned down at him, and asked in that same voice without thinking, "Alright, alright, you have my attention again- you want a bottle?"

You turned toward Steve again, holding a bear paw in your hand that was meant for Steve and felt your chest tighten. You weren't lying when you said you weren't immune to it, the way he looked when holding his son, the way he talked to him, but you were luckier than the women who just walked by him in the street, you got to see this everyday. Him being so caring, so protective and so loving to his son. In your honest opinion, Steve just got hotter to you since living with him. He was hot before, but now you can't ignore or deny it like you did when you were classmates and coworkers at an ice cream parlor.

You softly cleared your throat, capturing Steve's attention. He lifted his eyes to look at you, before you waved the bear claw and his eyes moved toward it. You could practically see his eyes light up and his mouth beginning to water at the simple sight of it.

"Fuck, give me that right now," Steve cursed, and you chuckled and walked toward him. You held it to his lips and Steve leaned forward to take a bite out of it, and practically moaned at its sugary taste, "God, give me another bite."

You did as told, holding it back up to his lips as he took another bite, a bigger one this time with his eyes boring into yours. You bit your inner cheek, thinking this was probably working. You didn't want to think about Steve needing to have sex or something when this donut was practically doing the same thing...easing his nerves even for just a bit.

"So...are we okay then?" you asked him as he swallowed his second bite.

"Yeah...yeah we're okay," he said, shooting you a sweet grin before he opened his mouth again. You rolled your eyes playfully and said, "Then give me him and feed yourself."

Steve pouted at you, but did as told. You took his son in your arms, speaking in a high pitched voice as you said, "Hi, how was your day with your daddy? Sorry I didn't get you a donut, but I promise I’ll bring you one too when you’re a little older." You smoothed down the dark hair on his head, and his son gazed up at you and reached out to touch your cheek and smile.

Steve stopped midway from bringing the rest of the donut to his mouth, eyes resting on you and feeling some kind of heat rather than a regular warmth at the sight of you holding his son and with the smile and look of joy you were putting on his little face. 

What you didn’t know, and Steve never going to tell you, was that there was another reason he didn't want you helping out so much, and the heat he was feeling right now just watching with his son, how it always had been since you moved in, was it. He rather focused on his donut, tearing his eyes from you as you grabbed a bottle, made by you of course, and sauntered off toward his son’s bedroom. 

✦✦✦

Things were going okay between you and Steve, and he had seemed less stressed with him letting you help him out some more. It was more than you were doing before, but not too much either. He wasn't snapping at you again...until today.

You had gotten off of your shift early, a rare occasion to happen, and you had gone straight home and you told the sitter she could go home.

You didn't think Steve would be bothered by it since he started to accept more of your help, but something must've happened during his day at work because when got home and only found you and his son, and no babysitter, he grew slightly irritated.

"I just think you should ask me first," Steve told you as he picked his son out of the cradle swing that was set out in the living room. You looked at Steve with a raised brow.

"Okay? Do you not trust me or something to watch him? I don't see the problem," you bit back, growing irritated with him now. Steve sighed, kissing his son on nose as a hello and glancing at you. You were in the kitchen again, and he followed after you.

"No, I trust you, I just think if you're going to send the sitter home you should let me know," he said with a bit of a firm tone in his voice that you didn't like.

You honestly didn't think it was that big of a deal because you were here and it made no sense for her to stick around until he got home. He was leaving him here with you on your days off in the past weeks since your talk and suddenly this was a problem.

"I would apologize, but I don't see why I have to," you muttered, knowing Steve was in one of his moods again.

"It's because-" Steve paused, as if trying to think about exactly why, but when he didn't come up with anything you were laughing and shaking your head as you opened the fridge and bent over to look for one of the containers you'd brought home from work.

"You don't even know why," you said, then sighed and said, "But fine, next time I'll just call you and bother you at work." You heard Steve scoff just as you found what you were looking for.

"It's not about that-" Steve said but you were turning around and holding a piece of lemon cake you made at the bakery you worked full-time at in your hand and telling to be quiet and just eat the cake.

Steve just stared at you, then the lemon cake dumbfounded, and he said, "I don't want that...whatever, just-" He was shaking his head and turning away, leaving you standing there. The last thing you heard was Steve asking his son, "Why does she keep trying to feed me sweets?"

You stood in the kitchen for a good few minutes after he'd left, looking at the lemon cake in your hand before shoving it into your own mouth and chewing it obnoxiously. It was the first time Steve refused to eat a sweet you were offering him, not knowing that you were always doing it whenever he got into a mood and was unintentionally averting his irritation toward you.

You went to your room a few minutes after that, and decided to call Robin and when she answered, she told you exactly what she told you at the mall. He desperately needed to get laid, and he didn't even know it.

"Oh god, if I do tell him that he's probably going to call me gross," you said, now weighing in her suggestion because honestly, you didn't know what else would ease the guy's stress and tension.

"Yeah, but then he'll think about it and realize you're probably right, I can tell him? Just put him on the phone right now," Robin said, making you chuckle.

"I think he's asleep…somehow," you said, glancing through your open door to see the hallway illuminated with the tv screen,  "The little guy's quiet, so..."

"Bliss for a single dad, god I miss that kid, how is he?"

You told Robin about Steve's son, something he probably should be doing, but like you said he barely called her anymore either with the tight schedule he had. After a few more minutes of talking, Robin left you with a 'get him laid (y/n)' before hanging up.

It had made you laugh sarcastically again, but honestly, you didn't know what else to even do. Even as you walked out into the living room and saw him laying on the couch with his eyes closed he looked so fucking tense. His eyebrows were furrowed, his jaw was clenched, and you could see the tension in his shoulders as well.

You mindlessly walked over to the TV, turning it off for him, but the moment you did, his eyes opened and he was saying your name. You didn't look at him until he said your name a second time.

"Hey, I'm sorry okay, I had a bad day at work, Keith made me work overtime and-"

"Look Steve," you started with, "I get it, okay, you're stressed and I understand why! I thought maybe if I helped you out especially with your son you would be less stressed and less of, let's face it, a jerk to me, but god, it's like anything I do you just get mad at me."

Steve was taken back by your words, eyes blinking rapidly at you as he moved to sit up. You crossed your arms and stared at him expectantly, waiting for him to speak. He pressed his lips together before cursing under his breath and saying, "I know, you're right and believe me- I'm trying not to okay, I'm sorry for getting mad about the babysitter, it's fine, if anything I prefer you to take care of him because he loves you so much."

You were a bit touched by that, your expression softening slightly, but you were still mad at Steve so you kept the softness brief before forcing it back to your expectant one.

"Then what's the matter?" you asked him.

He slouched slightly, bringing his hands to his messed up hair as he groaned and said, "Trust me I feel like an asshole every time I snap at you like that...I just have all this tension, and I don't know what to do about it...should I try like..yoga or something? Meditation?"

You huffed at the idea of Steve doing yoga, and you moved to fall into the space next to him, gazing at him for a moment before saying, "Robin...thinks it's because you need to have sex or at least an orgasm."

You watched Steve pause, the hand rubbing his scalp halting at once, and he lifted his head and looked at you with yet another dumbfounded look. You shrugged weakly, averting your eyes away from him as you said, "It beats what I've been doing...feeding you sweets..."

His eyes grew wide, now knowing that was why and feeling slightly embarrassed that he had to be coaxed into having a better attitude, but before he could respond to that you continued, "And maybe...she's right? When's the last time you've...you know..." You made a jerking off motion, making Steve's cheeks become flushed.

"Uh..." he pressed his lips together tightly, actually taking the question serious and he found that he really couldn't remember the last time he'd jerked off, let alone had sex with anyone. And maybe, the more he thought about, the more Robin did have a point...

You shifted in your spot so that you were facing him, resting your arm on the back edge of the couch and looking curiously at him before nudging him.

He looked back at you, his tongue swiping his bottom lip gently before he nodded, "She's probably right, but if that's what it takes...yeah you're gonna have to deal with me."

You rolled your eyes, "Anyone would hook up with you still in a heartbeat Harrington, just ask any woman at the supermarket."

Steve shrugged, "So you say, but would I hook up with them? I don't know them, after that little guy in there...I don't think I can have sex with just anyone anymore.” 

You were chewing on your inner cheek at Steve’s words, contemplating another thing Robin had told you…that you could actually help with her solution for him. You rested the side of your head in your palm, fluttering your eyelashes slightly at Steve before you said, “Well…it doesn’t have to be just anyone…would you be…more comfortable if it was someone you knew?” 

It was a loaded question, you were well aware of it, and Steve seemed to understand immediately what you were suggesting. He looked at you again, brown eyes observing you closely, and his cheeks turning slightly red. You offered him a smile, and raised both eyebrows suggestively at him. 

His lips parted for a second, and he ran his hand through his thick, messy hair as he replied, “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” 

You didn’t want to look or sound too disappointed, or too eager either, but you did pout slightly, something he also caught, and you said, “We don’t have to have actual sex…I could just help you get off. It’s always better when someone does it for you, right?” 

It was Steve shifting in his spot too now because the simple idea of you touching him down there was making his cock twitch in his sweatpants. He hadn’t been touched in a while, he knew that for sure now if just you suggesting it had him getting aroused. 

He cursed underneath his breath, glanced down at his crotch, making you follow his gaze. You rested your eyes on the prominent outline of his cock through his sweatpants that you hadn’t noticed he was wearing until now. They were the gray pair that left little to the imagination in the first place when he wore them, but right now the hardness cock was painfully obvious and you felt heat spread through your abdomen. 

You took a sharp intake of breath, remembering suddenly something Robin told you as well at the mall.

“I don’t know if you wanted me to know this,” you started, moving toward Steve wearily, he turned his head to look at you moving closer, “But Robin told me you used to have a crush on me.” 

Steve blinked for a moment, then laughed nervously as he said, “She told you that?” You nodded, settling on your knees beside him, licking his lips again as he said, “She’s right…I did.” 

“How come you never told me?” you asked him softly, “I might’ve given you a chance.” 

He chuckled at that, liking the way you tilted your head at him so curiously again as he said softly that he didn’t know why he never did. You had always seemed like this girl that was so out of his reach despite being so close, up until right now at least, because you’ve never been this close to him and he had to stop his breath from hitching with arousal. 

He knew the very reason it was a bad idea was because his ‘crush’ on you hadn’t exactly faded, if that heat he felt whenever you held his son said anything else, so he wasn’t sure what would happen if you both took this step like this. But fuck, the thought of being touched in the first time in what feels like forever in his mind send tremors of anticipation and arousal through him. And it was also the fact that you were asking to touch him, that you wanted to do it…and Steve wanted it too.

You were leaning slightly, and you said in almost a whisper, “So…let me help you.” 

Steve’s breath hitched in his throat, feeling way too aroused from just you being so close, and he was nodding. He nearly groaned when he felt your fingers touching his thigh and moving upward until he felt the tips of your fingers touching his cock that was still confined in his sweatpants. 

His breath shook, and his eyes fluttered shut for a second as you gently dragged your fingers up and down his hardening cock. Your head was tilted downward, listening to the way Steve’s breathing was becoming deeper and heavier with every drag of your fingers. 

“Fuck, yeah that feels…so fucking good,” Steve said, his voice an octave deeper, “Keep going.” 

You hummed in response, before pressing your hand against his cock and started to rub him. He nearly choked on the groan he let out, and he spread his legs for you, slouching slightly as his head hit the back of the couch. He felt your hand grasp him, starting to rub him in a way that felt so goddamn good even above the fabric of his sweats.

It was a quiet hum that made Steve look at you leaning over him now, his head falling forward. You looked so focused as you wrapped your hand around him, and ran your thumb over the tip then. Steve’s hips bucked upwards when you did that, and you chuckled softly, moving your other hand to grab the back of the couch again to steady yourself. 

He felt so fucking big underneath your hand, and when your eyes caught sight of the dark gray spot that began to seep through the light gray fabric, your mouth watered like Steve’s did when he saw that stupid bear claw you bought him weeks ago. 

You bit your bottom lip, running your thumb across his tip again and listening to the noises that Steve was letting slip past his lips as you moved your hand back and forth. You never took him for a vocal lover, but then again maybe it was because he hadn’t been touched by anyone in so fucking long and he probably couldn’t help it. But fuck, it was hot to hear him, especially when the moans turned into breathless cursing as your hand worked faster.

Your eyes moved to his face, taking in the sight of his eyes that were practically shining and his lips that were wet with his spit. You started to rub him again, and watched as he threw head back and groaned out a ‘fuck.’ It made you smile, almost proud of yourself and you glanced back down at his crotch, seeing the wet spot had only gotten bigger and more obvious the more he bucked his hips in his hand.

“Damn Steve,” you said breathlessly, making him look at you, “It’s worse than I thought. Are you going to cum in your pants right now?” 

He laughed breathlessly as he replied, “Shut- oh fuck- shut up,” his voice cracked as you moved your hand faster and harder, then slower again, “Don’t - god- don’t act like you don’t know what you’re doing to me right now.” 

You smiled innocently at him as you ran your hand over his entire cock again, “I can do more…if you want.” You were moving your hand off of him, making Steve whine at you for the loss of contact, but when he felt your hand at the waistband of his sweats, he was looking down at your hand, then back up at you.

Realizing what you meant, he said, “I shouldn’t…" You brought you hand back down to touch him again, and his eyes rolled back for a momennt before he said, "...but fuck I don’t even care, your hand feels so fucking good.” 

At his words, you were lifting your hand back up and digging them beneath the waistband, feeling nothing but bare skin and you gasped and teased, “No boxers Steve? It’s almost like you knew…”

His cheeks grew even more red at this, and he said, “I never wear those when I wear these. Too uncomfortable.” 

“Oh?” 

He smirked at you, already knowing that you were pretending to be surprised. He was well aware that you knew he never did, having seen you staring when you thought he wasn’t paying attention. If anyone knew anything, it was you.

You leaned forward, pressing a light kiss to one of the many beauty marks that decorated the side of his neck, something you’ve actually always wanted to do, and Steve practically melted at the touch of your lips right there. He turned his head to face you, and you pressed your forehead to his as you asked him to tell you if he really wanted you to actually touch him.

And Steve cursed and said yes. 

You reached your hand into his pants, listening to him gasp and then feeling him buck into your hands as you wrapped your fingers around the girth of his cock. You even let out a soft whine yourself, your eyebrows growing taunt just by how big he actually was in your hand. 

Steve was right about you having stared before when he wore these pants, but you didn’t think he was this big even when you just rubbed him over his sweats not even a full two minutes ago. Letting out a shaky breath, you started to move your hand back and forth, pumping his cock and trying to contain your own whines that only edged Steve on. It was rough without any kind of lube, but Steve didn’t really care, just enjoying the feeling of your hand wrapped around him slowly jerking him off. 

Your eyes were kept on each other, your foreheads touching and your noses just barely touching too. You feel his hot breath hitting you with every pant that slipped past his parted lips, and he could feel yours too. It would be easy to lean forward and make your lips touch too, to kiss you for the first time. 

It was the way he was looking at you though that had you working harder for him, enjoying that blown out look in his pupils. You'd never seen him like this before, and it was making you pump him faster and harder.

“Steve…” you were saying his name, and with hooded eyes and an even quieter voice he asked you what it was you wanted to tell him. You licked your lips this time, knowing what you wanted and just saying it.

“Let me suck you off.” 

His chest flooded with heat, and further anticipation, especially with how you said it, so desperate that he didn’t need to feel embarrassed by the way he sounded either. 

“Are…are you sure you want to? You don’t have to,” he told you genuinely, “I’m okay with you getting me off like this…” 

Your hand on him slowed down, simply rubbing him again that earned you a quiet groan as you said with a furrow of your eyebrows, “You’ve just been working so hard and stressing yourself out so much that you’ve been so cold to me…” 

“Fuck I know- I don’t mean to be,” he replied, pressing his forehead more to yours, parting his lips trying to lean more upward so that he could kiss you. You let out a deep exhale, purposely keeping out of his reach and replied, “It’s okay, I know why you are...” 

Steve rubbed his nose against yours too, wanting nothing more but to kiss you, but wanting to hear what you were going to say next. 

“You’re such a good dad to the little guy, I think you deserve some kind of reward, some appreciation that none of your stupid co-workers or manager show you,” you told him with another few pumps of his cock between your hand, “Let me show you how I’ll appreciate you. You deserve this, Steve.”

For some reason, your words were spreading through Steve like wildfire that he felt like he might just come from your words. The words good dad, reward, and appreciation buzzing pleasantly through his head and itching a part of his brain that he didn’t even know existed. You saw this change in him, the way his eyes grew dark and you asked him again to let you appreciate him for being such a loving, good dad to his son.

“Yes, fuck, please,” he told you, and you smiled, leaning away before his lips could even barely touch yours, but he found he couldn’t be disappointed as he knew where those lips of yours were going. You stayed in your same spot beside him though, just shifting ever so slightly to give yourself more room before you were taking Steve’s hard cock out of his sweats. 

You whined gently, even more impressed with how well endowed he was, and you looked up at Steve through your lashes and he shot you a smile. He knew that look because every time he was with someone for the first time they all gave him the same look of surprise before they started practically drooling at the sight of his thick cock.

He'd just never thought you'd be one of them.

You picked your jaw off the floor though, eyes shifting back to his pretty cock. You stuck your tongue out as you leaned down, dragging it from the bottom and upward. One of Steve’s hands went to his own head while the other reached upwards to rest on your back, his rough hands from working so much touching the soft skin of your back that was exposed from your shirt lifting in your new position.

“Shit- sorry,” Steve apologized, “Didn’t mean- to-” he choked out a soft groan as your tongue began to lick at the swollen tip of his cock, tasting the pre cum that was already there, “I didn’t mean to touch you-” 

“You can touch me, Steve,” you told him breathlessly, his brown eyes resting on yours for a moment before your tongue was back on him. He pushed his own hair out of his face, focusing on your tongue and the heat in his stomach when you were suddenly taking him halfway into your mouth. He hadn’t expected that, considering how you seemed to be taking it nice and slow, and he moaned quite loudly. 

He froze, eyes shooting toward the hallway, not wanting to wake up his son as it took a while for him to fall asleep. You didn’t really notice he did, getting him wet with the heat of your mouth and practically choking on him even though only about half of him was stuffed into your mouth. 

When he heard no crying, Steve returned his focus onto you, making sure his noises of pleasure weren’t that loud again. His head fell back just over the back of the couch, enjoying the feeling of your hot and wet mouth around him as you started to bob your head up and down, the tip just barely touching the back of your throat, and your hand wrapping around the rest of him that you couldn’t take.

“Oh fuck, you’re right, I needed this- I needed this so fucking much,” he told you in a low, husky voice, his head dropping forward and his eyes moving over the curve of your body, resting on your ass that was sticking out in your current position. He barely realized you were wearing those terribly small shorts you wore when the ac was broken for a few days during the summer you moved in. It was winter now. He moved his hand lower to grab your ass, and squeezed the flesh there as he teased you by basically repeating what you told him earlier, “You’re wearing these shorts? It’s almost like you knew…” 

You were taken off guard by his words and his hand squeezing your ass, so much that you hummed appreciatively around him, sending a pleasurable vibration up Steve’s cock and he practically gasped and bucked his hips upward in response. The sudden gesture caused his cock to hit your throat directly, and you were suddenly gagging. Your hand that wasn’t on his cock slapped onto his thigh and then you looked up at him, giving him a look that made him laugh breathlessly.

“Sorry,” he told you as you pulled off of him, deciding to use your hand for a moment, which felt much better with his cock covered in your spit. His eyes shifted from your hand pumping him, and back to your lips that were shining with your spit and looked more swollen than before. You were a very pretty sight indeed.

“It’s fine,” you told him, your voice slightly hoarse that Steve loved because it was because you were sucking his cock, you swallowed thickly and continued to say,  “If you want me to take more of you, just ask.” 

Steve sighed, and shook his head, “You don’t have to, I’m pretty big…don’t want to strain your throat.” You raised both brows at him, impressed by the smugness despite thinking he had every right to be smug. You’ve sucked cock before, but god, Steve had to be the biggest one and you liked a challenge.

You twisted your neck side to side, making Steve raise both eyebrows at you as he realized you were going to go for it as you got off of the couch and instead went to the ground between his spread open legs. Flashing him a little smirk, you were leaning down again and sliding him back into your mouth, flattening your tongue and lowering yourself as far as you could. 

Your lips stretched out around the girth of him, your eyes closing as you focused on relaxing your throat so you can get at least most of him in. 

The feeling of his cock so deep inside of your mouth had Steve’s smugness dissipating by the second. With every inch you took, he was becoming a mess, and he brought his hand to the back of your head. His breaths started to come in fast and heavy pants because holy fuck he didn’t expect you to be able to take so much of him, he never expected anyone to so with you doing this for him, it fucking wrecked him. 

“God yeah, just like that, holy shit,” he told you, his voice becoming strained as you swallowed around him, “Fucking hell, yeah, yeah you know what you’re doing, fuck, fuck, fuck...” 

His hand held on to the back of your head firmly, while your hands stayed on his thigh, wanting to prevent him literally going down your fucking throat when he finally came, which you knew he was close. You began to bob your head up and down again, making Steve moan out your name along with more curses that had you wanting to touch yourself. 

The hand on the back of your head was helping you, lifting you and pushing down and he was very relieved that you were holding his thighs down because he couldn’t keep his hips from bucking upwards any longer. He was close, so fucking close, every time he hit the back of your throat you slightly gagged and it felt so fucking good, you felt good and he almost wanted to fucking thank you for doing this for him. 

“I- I’m going to come,” he warned you between his pants and moans, “Yeah, yeah I’m going to oh my fucking god yeah-” His body folded toward you, his head dropping as he felt himself let out the longest, most hottest groan of his life when on the final bob of your head, you took him even further. He felt the back of your throat, and he was a goner. 

With anyone else, Steve might’ve been embarrassed by his moans that turned into straight up whimpers as he came right into the back of your throat, and felt you desperately trying to swallowing. You took all of him, not wanting to pull away until you took every drop of cum he had to give you. His body twitched and convulsed with electric shocks of pleasure that he’d been denying himself of for a while now.

Steve lifted his head, letting out long breaths with his eyes still closed as you drank the last of him up. He was massaging the back of your scalp as you did so, saying things like why the fuck are so good at that and I haven’t came that hard in fucking forever. 

His words made you smile smugly as you leaned away from him, your plump lips and chin covered in your own spit. His eyes softened at the sight of you though, and he moved his hand to gently cup your jaw and wipe your lip with his thumb almost affectionately. 

“Feel…” you tried to speak, but your voice was more raspy than before. You had to clear your throat and Steve was smiling…again, which you promptly ignored because it was all smug like again, “Feel better?” 

He sucked in a deep breath, wanting to steady his breathing as he thought about it. He honestly did feel a lot better, the tension he felt in his shoulders and back and basically every being released along with orgasm. He leaned back on to the couch, and nodded weakly. 

“Yeah, I feel much better,” he replied, dropping his hand from your face to his thigh, right beside his softening cock. You nodded, content with that and started to move to stand, about to tell him that you were glad and needed to go to your room immediately for no particular reason related to the throbbing between your legs.

You didn’t account for your legs feeling wobbly though, and you fell forward onto Steve. He caught you quickly as your leg slotted between his, and you felt your cunt press against his thigh. 

The pressure sent a jolt of pleasure through you when it did, and you were so turned on that you couldn’t stop the moan escaping your lips even if you wanted to. Steve gazed up at you, obviously having heard you and swallowed thickly as once again bit his bottom lip gently before releasing it.

You met his gaze, feeling slightly flustered that you’d moaned so easily, and maybe embarrassed because you didn’t want him to think you were expecting anything back, but then his hands were on your waist, as if wanting to keep you there.

“I’ve been thinking…for maybe about 2 minutes…” he started with, his voice slightly deeper, “It’s not just me who deserves a reward like this. You do too.” 

He flexed his thigh underneath you and you gasped softly as the pressure again. Your hands flew to his shoulders, trying to steady yourself even though he was holding onto you. 

“A reward for what? Dealing with you being a jerk?” you joked, and Steve nodded. 

“Yeah,” he replied softly, “Let me make you feel good too…come on..” He was moving you to straddle him completely, and you settled right onto his lap, your clothed cunt pressing against his cock that was still out of his sweatpants. 

His cock was still pretty sensitive from just coming that his eyes rolled back for a moment, before he asked you to lift your hips for him. You did as told, lifting your body to your knees above his lap and he was looking down at you before he brought his hand between your legs. 

You moved your hands onto his shoulders again when you felt his fingers touching you, lightly at first, as if wanting to emulate the way you teased and touched him earlier. Your teeth caught your bottom lip, a quiet moan of his name making him look up at you with a heated gaze. 

The soft moan of his name stirred Steve on as he pressed his fingers harder against your clit, starting to rub the bundle of nerves in small circles. The grip on his shoulders tightened as he did so, your teeth releasing your bottom lip as your moans turned into whimpers with his name being one of the things you kept saying. 

“I’m sorry for being so mean to you,” Steve said, his voice strained, “I’ll be better, fuck, I promise.” His fingers moved faster and you didn’t even really listen to what he said, just chasing the pleasure his fingers were giving you and wishing there was no fucking fabric in the way. 

“Fuck okay, okay,” Steve suddenly said, slowing down his movements, “Can you grind on me? I really need to feel you.” 

You whined at the lost of contact because you felt so fucking close and too aroused to have him just stop like that, but then he was moving your hips back down so that your middles were pressed together again. The feeling of his cock against you again, which you were sure was half-hard, made you let out a choked out gasp and you were starting to grind against him like he asked without question.

The fabric of your shorts caused a delicious friction for Steve against his cock, especially with the way you were starting to grind against him, trying to get the same friction with your clothed clit. You cursed when his hips met your thrusts, and it hit your clit instantly, making you gasp and look down at Steve. 

His head was tilted down, watching your clothed cunt drag across his cock, his lips were parted and pink as he looked absolutely enchanted by the way you were rutting against him desperately. It made it somehow even more hot that he was watching you so closely and you knew he was thinking about actually being inside of you…because you were thinking the same thing. 

The mere idea of him burying that cock of his deep inside of you spurred you on, and you moved your hips faster, sending a jolt of ecstasy across your body. Steve cursed, especially as the couch even began to move by how hard you were grinding down on him and he felt his cock suddenly start to twitch again as you desperately rubbed your pussy on him. 

“You’re getting me hard again,” he said with a gruff, his hands on your waist grasping you almost roughly as he moved you faster and harder on top of him, “Fuck, fuck yeah- do you feel fucking good? Grinding yourself against me like this?” 

You dropped your head to meet his heated gaze as you nodded, “It feels so damn good, Steve.”

You clenched your teeth as you grasped the back of the couch now, wanting to give yourself more leverage, and Steve realized he couldn’t fucking handle this anymore as his cock hardened- he didn’t want you to come on his cock like this, thinking it would be a shitty reward compared to you sucking him off. He wanted to bury himself inside you, fucking you as deep as you could take him.

His mind was going absolutely feral at the idea your walls clenching around his cock, and he was asking you between his heavy pants, “I know I said no sex, but fuck it I need to be inside of you. Please let me fuck you, please.”

You didn’t hesitate as you said, “Yes, yes Steve please fuck me.”

Your answer was music to his ears, and he was moving you off of him and telling you to lay on your side on the couch. You practically fell onto the cushions of the large couch, with Steve squeezing behind you. You were pulling your shorts and underwear off while he kicked his own sweatpants off before he was grabbing your inner thigh and lifting your leg upward and telling you to keep it up as the hand went to his cock to stroke it a few times. 

After a second or two, he positioned it right at your entrance, running the thick tip over your folds first that had you almost begging and he said in a gruff voice, “You’re fucking dripping…” He pushed his hips forward, the shaft of his cock pressing between your outer folds, letting your wetness soak him for a second before he was positioning the tip back at your entrance, gently shoving it between the folds of your pussy.

At this point, you were practically gone and had turned into nothing but a moaning, jittery mess that only wanted one thing and one thing only, which was him inside of you. You were actually starting to beg now, whimpers and pleas falling from your lips as you begged him to shove himself inside of you. 

He wasted no time after that, pushing his cock deeper between your folds. The girth of him stretched you out almost immediately, and you almost choked on the spit that continued to collect in your mouth. 

“Holy shit, Steve,” you told him, eyes growing slightly wide, “Please go slow.”

“I know,” Steve told you right beside your ear where his mouth was. You leaned back into him, your jaw dropping as he slowly pushed more into you, biting his lip at the feeling of you squeezing around him. 

You squeezed your eyes shut, a whimper slipping past your lips as his cock stretched you out like no other had before and thinking this cock was going to ruin you because it was definitely going to be a hard one to beat, especially when it hit that spot inside of you that made your vision go starry. 

You gripped the couch cushion beneath you, and buried your head into it as well as you took deep breaths, just feeling so goddamn full. 

“It’s not even all the way in,” Steve told you with a smug chuckle before he kissed your earlobe gently and then your neck to try and help ease your pain of taking him specifically for the first time, “You're taking me so well though, baby, so fucking well. Tell me when you’re ready.”

After taking a few deep breaths, you lifted your head, turning it toward him and feeling his lips at the edge of your cheek as you started to nod, “I’m ready, god I’m ready.” 

Steve complied almost immediately, starting to slowly pull out of you, then pushing himself back in, really holding himself back from shoving the rest of himself in because your pussy felt so fucking good around him. You leaned back on him, mouth open as you let out shattered whines along with Steve’s deep groans that were right in your ear. 

It was like this for a bit, him slowly thrusting his cock in and out of you until you started to push your hips back for him, wanting him to go faster, but you actually accidentally took more of him. That almost made your scream out had it not been for his hand flying over your mouth.

“Do you wanna wake the little guy up?” Steve said quietly in your ear, voice now a rasp as well. You muttered against his palm an apology, and he shushed you as he started to move his hips at a faster pace for you, keeping his hand over your mouth still. 

You tried to contain your moans, you really did, but he was fucking you so well and so deep that you couldn’t help it so thank god for the hand over your mouth as he fucked into you. 

He pressed the side of his face into your hair, trying to contain his respective noises too but he sounded so loud in your ear. You grasped the couch tightly, feeling your nails even start to hurt as you felt your orgasm oncoming just from his cock. 

Tears brimmed at the edge of your lash line as you moaned Steve’s name out in a muffled and broken voice, but you didn’t need to tell him you were about to come. He could feel your walls clenching down on him tighter, your body growing tense against him with every thrust that went slightly deeper than the one before. 

“Go ahead, come all over my cock, baby, that’s it,” he told you breathlessly, “Oh fuck, that’s it- I can feel you.” 

You mewled against his hand, feeling your walls start to spasm around him, and the intensity in your stomach twisted and turned as your orgasm built up until it finally snapped and you were cumming on his cock.

Steve had to force his own moan from feeling your walls flutter deliciously around him as you came, pressing his face into the crook of your neck, while still managing to keep himself contained because he might’ve come at the same exact time as you from this feeling.

His hold over your lips grew tighter, but you were still pretty loud as you came, shockwaves rocked through your entire body, so much that you swore you saw stars. Steve was shushing you in your ear at the same time as he slowed down his thrusts, letting you ride through your orgasm and your body still shaking because holy shit he was still fucking you. 

Even with your vision blurry, and your body trembling from that mind-blowing orgasm, you could still feel his cock inside of you, thrusting at a lazy pace that made your eyes roll back and soft mewls to escape you parted lips.

It took you a second or two to realize Steve was saying something to you, but he sounded far away for a moment as the bursts of warmth still rocked through you, but you managed to hear him when you muttered something incoherent at him and he chuckled and repeated himself.

“Close your legs,” Steve told you as he slipped out of you and you did as told, thinking you were moving slower than normal when you actually did it quite fast. 

Not a second after you felt his cock pressed into between your thighs, and you realized what he was doing. You pressed your thighs tighter around him, rocking back into him as his own moans got louder too. It was so fucking erotic, the feeling of his cock pressed between your closed thighs, feeling him grinding behind you as he desperately chased his own orgasm. He fucked between your thighs a few times, before he cursed loudly and pressed his chest into your back completely. With a moan of your name, he was coming for a second time. 

His cum splattered all over your thighs, and unfortunately the couch as well, but mostly your thighs. It was hot against you, and you felt Steve press his face back into your hair and wrap both arms around you tightly as he panted and thrust his hips a few more times between your thighs, his own cum making it easier to slide back and forth. 

His deep panting was hitting the back of your neck pleasantly, and you rubbed the back of your head on his with affection as his thrusts finally went still.

It took the both of you a few minutes to come down from your respective highs, your bodies pressed up against each other. When you did, Steve was lazily turning you around so that you could face him. You twisted around for him, your body feeling like there was a whole anvil on your chest or something. 

When you managed to turn, you saw a dreamy smile on Steve’s lips and an adoring look in his gaze. 

“Feeling better now?” You asked him again, and he was nodding, his messy locks of brown hair falling forward and you reached over to push them out of his face, “I’m glad I could help, honestly.”

You continued to play with his hair, something you’ve always wanted to do, and Steve licked his lips before he asked, “That wasn’t just to help me, was it?”

You met his gaze again, and said, “Well…I just heavily benefited from helping you.”

He scoffed at you before he grinned again and asked you smugly, “How long have you wanted me?” He paused, then added, “Please don’t say it was when I became a dad…”

You rolled your eyes at him as you rested your hand onto his cheek affectionately as you said, “No, it’s been way before that, when I said I wasn’t immune I meant just you.” 

Steve was content with that answer, and then he saw something in your eyes before you continued to say, “I do have to admit though that…I’ve never been more attracted to you than I have been these past few months.”

He scoffed at you, but regardless smiled warmly at you. You returned it to him, and his eyes flickered down to your lips and his smile began to fall. You blinked at him, curious as to why he suddenly turned serious, afraid you’d said the wrong thing, until he was leaning in and capturing your lips with his like he wanted the moment you touched him, kissing you the way he had always wanted to. 

You returned it, eyes fluttering shut as he kissed you soft and tenderly, causing more warmth than heat to erupt in your chest at the feeling of his lips consuming you entirely. His tongue slipped past your lips that parted for him, and you nearly melted on the spot…which was odd considering the events of the past hour or so. 

After a good few seconds of your sweet kiss that made your heart flutter, he was leaning away to look at now with a very sleepy expression on his face. It made you smile, and you pecked him on the lips before you pressed your head into his chest and closed your eyes.

Steve wrapped an arm around you, feeling your legs entangling with each other as you both got comfortable on the couch, ready to fall asleep at any moment in this blissful embrace. And honestly, Steve felt thousands times better, and it was all thanks to you…and he hoped this wouldn’t be the last time and rather be the start of something else as his eyes fluttered shut…

Just as Steve closed his eyes, they were opening again. He found that he was alone on the couch. You were gone and there was a blue hue shining through the living room window, the way it always looked when he woke up to feed his son. He rubbed his eyes as he sat up, seeing he was in his sweats again and there was also a blanket thrown over him.

He wondered if it was a dream for a moment, but the ache in his body and the post bliss he felt all over him said otherwise. He was going to stand, and go to his son’s room when he saw you sitting on the lazy boy chair, the one that typically was covered with jackets and sometimes your bag, holding his son in your arms and holding a bottle to his mouth. 

You were in a different outfit altogether, a pair of your own sweats, and a tank top, and you were looking at his son with such a warm stare that Steve could even see in the barely lit room. Steve smiled at the sight, and he settled back down onto the couch, and said in a sleepy voice, “I think Robin’s solution worked…but I wouldn’t mind doing it again.”

You lifted your eyes, taking a moment or two to realize that Steve was talking and what he said. You smirked gently and replied in a teasing voice, “Maybe take me out on a date first, and I’ll think about it.” 

He smiled again as his eyes began to close again as he said, “Thursday night, I know a place…” 

“It’s a date then, Steve,” you replied quietly, your eyes moving back to the baby in your arms. The last thing Steve saw before getting another hour or 2 of sleep was you smiling sweetly at his son in your arms.

[luvlyrv]

Uncover | Seulgi x F!Reader

Genre/warnings: fluff, angst, homophobia (religious)

Summary: You quickly learn that while it was easy to be dishonest with yourself, it was nearly impossible to lie to Seulgi.

Word Count: 4.7k A/N: This has been something wracking up in my brain since June. It's kind of embarrassing that it's taken this long but it's a lovechild of my emotions. Enjoy, and I hope you feel things.

Date: 9/21/21

You can't imagine a day without her, because she's always been there. Right from the day you could remember. You bet that she could be your last memory too.

Your first memory has you sitting in the living room playing with your toys as you anxiously eye the other child in the room. Some strangers had rung your doorbell and your mom and dad had welcomed them into the house. Now they were in the kitchen, their voices blending into each other in the background.

The small girl in front of you decided to take the liberty of picking up your toys and playing with them. She ran around playing in the imaginary world in her head. You think that she's having fun and that you want to have fun too, but you can't seem to move from your position. As you slowly try to build up the courage to talk to her she approaches you.

She had been glancing at you from the corner of her eyes too. She watched your shy self idly playing all alone. She found it hard to approach you, scared of you pushing her away or being mean, but she thought maybe it was worth it. You could be a friend.

"Hi!" The strange girl is right in front of you with one of your stuffed toys in hand. "Do you want to play with me? I'm Seulgi!"

"I'm Y/N…"

For the rest of the hour the two of you chased each other in a shared adventure. Enraptured in your own little wonderland until your parents had to pull you apart.

Soon it became a ritual for those strangers, who you later learned to be Mr. and Mrs. Kang, to visit your house. Along them was always their daughter Seulgi, who wouldn't hesitate to pull you into a large hug right before starting a new adventure with you.

You slightly trail behind your best friend. You smile at yourself from the sight of Seulgi happily skipping, somehow filled with even more vigor than she usually has. She's always been filled with much more energy than you, amazed by even the smallest of things. You suppose something truly spectacular must be happening today for her to feel so extra. She turns her head over to look at you, flashing you her perfect smile with her perfect cheeks. The ones you always want to squish when you remind her of how cute she is.

She continues to bounce but slows down to be by your side. One of the favorite parts of your day, and hopefully hers too, would be the peaceful walk the two of you would always share before and after school. It always reminded you of how close you are. How you can always rely on her to listen and to brighten up your day.

She bites her lip while still smiling. She must be thinking about something.

"What's got you so excited today?" You ask her with a giggle.

"Guess!" She pesters leaning into you. A familiar feeling emerges in your chest from the contact.

"You know I'm really bad at guessing…"

"Well why can't you try?"

"All I know is that it has to be something really special, right?" You decide to lean back and push her a little as a tease.

"It is! Mom and dad bought me my favorite ice cream that we can share later today!"

You laugh at her as she continues giving her dumb smile. Seulgi moves in front of you with her eyebrows raised, waiting to hear your opinion about the news.

"Is that it?" You ask still laughing. She pouts a little.

"What do you mean 'is that it'? It's my favorite! And I get to share it with you!" With that you pull Seulgi in for a side hug.

"I'm kidding, I'm excited too."

You enjoy listening to whatever nonsense Seulgi thinks about and decides to spill to you as you guys continue walking. You feel a bit disheartened at the sight of the school building, but looking at Seulgi again is enough to make the disappointment go away.

As much as you wish it did, your schedule wasn't entirely with your best friend. Instead you had to split up as you entered the school grounds to your different classes. Fortunately you shared at least some classes with her, and most importantly lunch. So when you sit down at your desk with nobody talking to you, you don't feel too lonely. The anticipation of being reunited with Seulgi was enough for you.

As usual Seulgi finds your figure sitting down at a lunch table and immediately rushes towards you. She taps your shoulder as she sits down, hurriedly opening up her lunch box, her beastly appetite striking again.

"Oooh." She oogles as the both of you breathe in the sudden aroma of homemade food. You peer over to look at the contents of her lunch box. You swore that you can see the steam coming off of her rice.

"Open up!" Seulgi playfully demands of you. You oblige as she not so carefully throws a grape your way. It would've been lost if you didn't move your head to make up for the completely inaccurate trajectory.

"How are you still bad at this?" You ask her after chewing.

"Maybe I just like to see you work for your food." You laugh at her response as you carefully pick up a spring roll from your box and place it in hers.

"Mom fried it this morning so you better enjoy."

You enjoy the long-time tradition of sharing food and eating in relative silence. That time was short lived though as a small group of girls joined your table. You didn't mind them much, you'd even consider them casual friends. At the same time though, they were bothering you.

You found it strange that despite finally being with Seulgi you felt so lonely. So lost.

Seulgi's popular, you know that. A lot of people try to befriend her and fight for her attention. Being the social butterfly she is she never hesitated to say hello back and return the friendliness. By proxy you met a lot of nice people, a lot of not so nice people, and more. They never really stuck by for you though. They stayed for Seulgi.

You wish you understood why you were so bothered by those that stayed. Why you were always feeling jealous recently. You wonder if it's natural to feel so intensely sick when you watch your best friend's attention be pulled away by several different girls at a time, or laugh at a guys joke. Well, maybe you do know why.

You quietly sigh and push the thought away, instead trying to join in the chatter and laugh with everyone at the table. Just as you were about to calm down and ease into the group a sudden large group of guys and girls approach. One boy in particular seems to be leading the pack. You purse your lips as you silently watch them come over. Seulgi absent-mindedly continues talking, completely unaware of what was about to occur.

You tighten your hands into a ball as a feeling bubbles inside you. You can't place what it is. Is it fear? Anger? Jealously? It's probably both.

The boy also tightens his hands as they grip onto his shirt. You watch him bite his lip and see how a red color crawls up his neck and reaches the tips of his ears. You hold in a breath as he finally arrives at the table and Seulgi looks up at him.

"S-Seulgi." He barely manages to say her name aloud.

"Huh?" She looks at him cluelessly but gives him her full attention anyways.

"I like you! A lot! So if you can, please go out with me!" The boy's words spill out, as if his mouth was a floodgate holding them back. He reaches behinds him and quickly bends over to give Seulgi a piece of red paper, shaped like a heart. He probably wrote about his feelings extensively on it.

Your eyes had been focused on the love-stricken boy. It's hard for you to move your eyes towards Seulgi. You realize now what you're feeling. You fear what you'll see when you look over at Seulgi to see her reaction.

You notice that she's red too, the color slowly blossoming across her cheeks.

Why does this hurt you?

"Erm, ah, thank you." She says out of politeness and bows back. She gives him a smile and that seems to excite him. "I'll think about your confession."

He eagerly nods his head and leaves the table, happy with the results of his actions. The crowd around him seem to think that was a good ending and started whispering and congratulating him. You look back at your table and the girls are murmuring too.

"He's cute, you should definitely go for him!"

"I heard he treated his last girlfriend nicely. They're still on good terms."

"I've never seen you date before. Isn't now your time to explore?"

Seulgi just takes it all in and nods along with what they say. Your head hangs low as you pick at your food. You don't dare look up. You're scared of seeing Seulgi's face again. You're scared that tears will start falling.

It was like the weight of the world had fallen on your chest.

When the bell dismisses you from lunch you quickly go to your next class. You don't say goodbye to Seulgi or any of the other girls. You feel the light graze of Seulgi's fingertips as she tries to stop you, but you're too fast.

The rest of the school day is you trying to focus on studying, and when your last class finishes you're not sure what you'll do. Everybody leaves the classroom before you as you take some time for yourself. Breathing in and out, you mentally prepare yourself to face Seulgi, as if she was some type of monster.

As you exit the building and get near the gates you see a swarm of people with Seulgi in the center. They're probably there to ask about how she feels about the confession that happened. You sigh and almost contemplate leaving without her, but her eyes quickly find yours. Seulgi politely but abruptly says her goodbyes and runs towards you.

As Seulgi's figure grows nearer there's a feeling of satisfaction. It was like you had won some petty fight, and that feeling was able to erase the fear and nerves you had earlier. A smile grows on your face she reaches your side, your bodies automatically matching your steps. You enjoy the warmth when she locks her arm with yours. Not knowing what to say, you let silence fill the space in between the two of you until Seulgi decided to break it.

"So, do you wanna stay at my place for a bit so we can eat that ice cream?"

Seulgi's keys jingle as she unlocks her front door. You follow in after her, putting your shoes away as she dashes towards her refrigerator to retrieve the ice cream from the freezer. You walk up towards her as she hands one to you. Naturally, both of you make your way outside into her backyard.

Her backyard is quaint, housing a nice garden that her mother often tends and one large tree. The two of you rest under it, appreciating the winding arms of the apple tree that has always given you and Seulgi refuge. You enjoy the taste of the ice cream, perhaps the shade was enhancing its flavor. Either way you understood why its Seulgi's favorite. The refreshing taste and Seulgi's presence puts a smile on your face. You feel yourself opening up again as you guys joke and talk about your day in between bites and licks. By the time you finish eating your ice cream she had managed to convince you that she needed your extra help in math. As always you agreed to tutor her.

She argues that you should stay underneath the tree as she gets up to throw away the trash. You watch as she goes back inside the house, coming out again with a shiny apple in hand that was picked only a couple days ago. You laugh a little as you ask,

"Still hungry?"

"Enough for a little snack."

She sits by you and takes a rest on your lap. You brush her hair away as you look into her eyes. You can tell she's thinking about something.

"What's wrong?" You ask her.

"Well, I was just wondering, why were you upset earlier?" She says in a serious tone.

"Huh?"

"You didn't even say goodbye at lunch, and don't pretend I didn't notice you almost leaving without me." There's a hint of hurt in her voice. You feel bad for not keeping your emotions in check better, that you threw a fit over something so small.

"Well," Your voice trails off as your mind struggles to think of a response, "what does that boy mean to you?" You decide to ask.

"Oh so now you want to know about that too?" There's only a slight annoyance in her voice as she gives you an eyeroll.

"I'm your best friend, of course I'm curious." Seulgi huffs at your response. She can't blame you for wondering so she takes a moment to think before answering honestly.

"I mean, I guess they weren't wrong. He's kinda cute, and I know it took a lot for him to say that to me. I admire him for it." She said it in a casual manner, as if it wasn't a big deal. Yet for you it meant everything. And it hurt.

You can't control the frown that found its way on your face.

"Hey…" Seulgi quickly gets up from your lap. She has a confused expression as her eyes scans yours. "Hey, what's wrong?" Her voice is soft as she puts a hand on your shoulder.

Your chest is about to explode.

"Do you like him or something?" She continues to grip onto your shoulder with a confused face. She thinks she was the one who did something wrong. That she's stealing someone away from you, but that was so different from the truth.

"No, Seulgi, I-" You pause to think about what you're going to say. Something was about to come out instinctively, and you don't know whether or not that was the best decision.

"You what?"

She presses you for an answer but you're still thinking. You're thinking about you know you can't handle her possibly being close to someone else. To share all of her laughs with that boy. To smile at him and spend time with him. To do all the things that exists between you and her. Living would feel wrong if you were no longer the one she ran to and spilled her secrets to.

Who are you if not Seulgi's biggest and only confidant? The only one who could soothe her in her darkest moments? The one who understands every feeling and thought just by the way she blinks?

You're intimately familiar with the feeling in your chest now. You think that you know what it is too, but that doesn't make you hate it any less. If you could, you'd sacrifice every fiber of your being to forget that feeling and throw it away. To pretend it doesn't exist. But your wishes don't make it go away.

You can be dishonest with yourself, but it's impossible to lie to Seulgi. Not when she looks at you like that.

"I like you."

The words are barely a whisper but she hears. Seulgi's hand falls off your shoulder and you want to cry again. You said the wrong thing. She was going to think you're disgusting. She would never go on a walk with you again. You'll never smell her perfume again. You'll never hear her laughter again. She'd never touch you again. Never speak to you again.

Her mouth is open slack. Your eyes water and you breathe in, readying yourself to apologize profusely. To rescind the blasphemous words that slipped out of your foul mouth.

"I'm so sorry. Just ignore it. I take it back. I think I'm sick or something, you know, delirious. Just ignore it please. Please." Tears begins to fall down your face as Seulgi seemingly snaps back to reality. She reaches towards you, taking your face in her hands as her thumbs swipe away the tears.

"Oh my god, no, don't cry." She begs you to stop, but you can't.

"I-I'm, I'm sorry." The tears continue to make their way down your face. A horrible sickness wells in your stomach and suddenly it feels below freezing as you shake uncontrollably.

"No, don't be." She hugs you tight and whispers in your ear. "I like you too. So stop crying. For me, please." She strokes your back as you cry, hoping that the touch could settle you down.

It takes a while for you to register what she says, but as soon as you do your body seizes up. You think that maybe your everything, your soul, has shattered into a million pieces from Seulgi's words. How in the world could it be true? It couldn't be, not in this universe, not in this timeline.

Yet it was.

When Seulgi hears your sniffling stop and your body letting go of its tension she separates her body from yours. Her eyes are all you can see, and all you can see in them is pain.

"I'm sorry for making you worried." You felt guilty that she had to see you cry. The outburst at school wasn't great either.

"Don't worry about it" She reassures you by taking a hand in hers, stroking it with her delicate fingers to show you her affection. For several moments you allow yourself to breathe. Seulgi also took the time to process everything, and the two of you stared at each other with the new understanding of your feelings. Time seems to pass so slowly when you observe each other with care.

"Seulgi…" You mumble when what felt like years passed. She understood what you meant when she saw the way you looked at her lips.

In that moment you couldn't care anymore. Neither could Seulgi, it seemed, as you pressed your lips on hers and she pressed back. Greedily, the two of you dived in for a taste. Your lips on hers, her tongue in your mouth, it was something you needed. It was a flavor you could relish forever, perhaps this is what sin tasted like. Yes, this is what they'd call it. A sin.

It feels like everything has changed, but at the same time it hasn't. You still spend every second possible with Seulgi. You spend your time doing the same things. Yet everything feels so different, it feels brand new. Magically, it feels better than before. Is this the power that Seulgi has over you?

Nobody knows, nobody needs to know. After all, you're still Seulgi's bestfriend. Is there really anything different? Maybe just the tighter hugs, the kisses, and the alluring smiles, but that's all. Life is easy this way.

After bidding Seulgi goodbye in front of her house you go home to eat dinner with your family. You come home and greet your parents with a smile as you rush to join them at the dinner table. They share that smile as they take note of your enthusiasm recently. As you eat quietly for a while your mom finally asks you what's been going on to make you shine so much.

"Well..." You debate on what to say. It's been over a month since you confessed to Seulgi but you were still feeling high. You've been holding it for so long you wished you could tell someone. Why not them? You want them to be happy with you too. "I've been dating Seulgi."

"Hm?" Your mom asks you somewhat aggressively for clarification. The sudden stillness in the air alarms you. You look up from your food to see your mom staring as your dad stops eating.

"I-I told her I liked her and she liked me back." You say hoping to clear whatever confusion was occuring. Yet the look on your parents didn't fade.

"What happened?" You father's question sounds more like a statement as he sternly places his utensils down.

"What do you mean what happened? I just told you."

"What happened to make you like this?" His cold voices breaks a little as you notice his eyes tearing up. Was he seriously upset about this?

"You're joking, right?" Your mom joins in with an angry tone.

"Of course I'm not. Mom, she makes me really happy." You struggle to keep yourself composed under the scrutiny of both of your parents.

"Y/N. You are not happy. You're messing with the devil right now and he's fucking up your mind."

"Have you not been doing your prayers?"

You can barely fight for yourself at the dinner table. Your parents argue with and over you, about the causes and the whys. About the signs and what happens next. You cry as you watch your decision unfold into your nightmare.

You knew deep down inside this would happen, but you hoped and prayed that it wasn't true. Perhaps Seulgi made you too happy, too brave. Everything else felt like it was going right so you convinced yourself this would too. You've flown too close to the sun and it backfired. You should've never said anything.

As you try to block out the fight unraveling in front of you you could only scream one thing while crying. "Wouldn't God want to love me? Wouldn't He want you to love me too?"

The scrape of the wooden chair echos as your mom shoots up straight. "I will not house some heathen under my roof. Get out until you realize what you've done to this family."

It's raining. The relentless torrent of water against your body traps in the coldness from the night, leaving you shivering as your feet move on their own. They move to the only other place that feels like home. The only other person that feels like home.

Soon enough you find yourself in front of a familiar door, incessantly knocking. Muffled footsteps come from the other side of the door as you hear locks being undone until the door finally opens. Instantly there's a look of worry on Mr. Kang's face as he takes in the scene in front of him. He quickly ushers you in and shuts the door.

"Who is it?" A voice rings from upstairs.

"It's Y/N!" Mr. Kang yells back, and soon enough you hear a flurry of footsteps coming downstairs. Seulgi, in her tired glory, appears. She rushes towards you as her father went off to find you some towels to dry off with.

"Oh my god, what happened? Why are you here? Are you okay?" Seulgi's honey eyes are glistening with worry. She doesn't seem to care too much about the fact that you're soaked as she embraces you in a hug. Her body soothes you, its warmth penetrating the cold, wet clothes that clung to your body. You let her ground you back to reality before speaking.

"I don't wanna talk about it right now." You barely manage to get the words out. Your throat feels tight, constricted. Throughout the entire time the tears haven't stopped running down your face as it mixed with the rain water. Seulgi rubs your back as her father comes back. Both of them begin patting you dry.

It feels a bit pathetic as you have two people fretting over you so much, but you're too tired to move. Maybe not even tired, but rather stuck in your own thoughts.

"Go get her something to change into. Are you gonna stay the night?" Her dad asks after making Seulgi go back upstairs to find clothes. You just nod in response and follow her.

When you enter Seulgi's room you find her hastily going through her drawers, finding something comfortable for you to wear. After digging through her clothes she hands you some sweatpants and an oversized shirt, much like her own outfit she was sporting. Your hands are in front of you and holding onto the clothing, yet you still can't seem to move much. Instead your lips tremble as you look at the floor. Seulgi sighs as she nears you, unfolding the clothes and looking at your trembling hands.

"Don't make me dress you." She half-teases. When she realizes you can't will yourself to move a grim line stretches across her face. She wonders what has gotten you so riled up to act this way.

Carefully, she removes your clothes and throws them into the laundry pile. Her fingers innocently skim your body as she puts on the clothes for you, with you doing the minimal movements required to help her. Over the years she's already been more than familiar with your body, and the same for you with her touch. Although you can't vocalize it you silently appreciate the care and intimacy she demonstrates.

Soon enough she finishes though and pulls you towards her bed. Sitting you down she places herself behind you after grabbing a dry towel. She begins to dry your hair while letting you stay silent. Another thing you appreciated about her. She let you take your time.

"Seulgi..." Your voice croaks out as if you've aged several decades.

"Yes?" She stops drying off your hair, instead placing the towel down as she wraps her arms behind you and leans forward.

"They know." She doesn't say anything but her body is still for a minute. Afterwards she finishes drying off your hair, at least one of you can stay calm in this situation. That's what you need. "They told me to come back when I come to my senses."

"It's okay. Everything will be okay. We'll figure something out." You let her guide you down on her bed. Your crying had stopped a while back, but the shock coursing through your body didn't. As Seulgi pulled up the sheets and began to hold you you turned around and looked at her. You looked into the eyes that told you everything. Right now they told you that all Seulgi had on her mind was you.

So you think that you should only think of Seulgi too, because you can always forget about the consequences when you're with her. With a kiss on your forehead she tells you to sleep. She gets impossibly closer to you, holding you tight. Holding you as if you are her treasure.

The familiar trees and houses enter your view as you drive down your childhood neighborhood. Your fingers tap on the steering wheel as you listen to the song Seulgi played in the car. Out of the corner of your eye you see her smile at the thought of visiting her parents. It's enough to make you happy as well.

As you near her parent's house you pass by your own. It's been years since you've been inside, years since you even saw it. You're okay with it though, but your mind still wonders how your parents are doing. You wonder if the house is lonelier now, if they ever think about the sparse letters and phone calls you have exchanged and how they always were fights. Do they know you and Seulgi are coming to visit? Will they want to see you?

Whatever the answer is it doesn't matter. The only family you have to worry about is the girl right next to you and her parents. You feel thankful that she's your first love and hopeful that she's your last. Despite how many times your lives have separated you two, how you both dated other people and had your own quarrels, you guys came back to each other in the end. She changed you during your formative years and supported you as the two of you have grown up.

No one else can make you uncover these sides and feelings like she does.

[gildedmuse]

Hey, everyone.

So recently I've (predictably) very not well. Actually, whenever I don't post for long periods, just assume my body is trying to kill me. But I've gotten messages from three people asking if I. Okay, which is super sweet. I am actually trying to work on the next All Hearts, a really long ZoLaw post and two request fics, but mixing chronic kidney pain and capitalist society's mandate to work 40+ hours is not recommended.

But to prove I'm okay and still me, here is some Shanks antics with him being a total slut while Mihawk and Beckman just roll their eyes and go along with it. [Shout out to @jhaernyl who not only listens to me ramble about this stuff, but actively encourages it]. I also have many thoughts on the latest episodes and so many screenshots it's embarrassing. Hopefully, when I'm in less pain, I'll get around to actually posting those. Otherwise I just look like an insane person who literally takes by the second frame shots every time Zoro is on screen.

.... What is that? I look like that anyway? Fair.

Shanks Is A Bad Influence

It feels like Buggy and Shanks split up after Roger's death (the crew was told to, and they are the only ones who went to his execution) and I find it impossible to think Shanks didn't immediately set out and find a crew; like, pirating is the only thing this kid knows in life. This means two things:

He set out from East Blue. Also, he seemed at ease and familiar with the East so it's possible he spent like a year there getting everything together. Maybe he even played around in the other blues for a while before heading back to the Grand Line. I say this because his crew is from all over so either he found and recruited them in the Grand Line or visited various blues. Either way, I'm gonna say it took him about two years before getting a 'proper' start. In that case, he would have started out properly at the age of 17 and we know One Piece likes it's parallels.

That still puts Shanks at 17 to Benn Beckmen's 28. How the fuck did Shanks manage that? I'd call it grave robbing, but let's face it, the little tyke probably got up to some actual robbing of graves as well.

My point being everytime Shanks teases Mihawk about keeping this 19 year old kid on his personal island, mostly shirtless, Benn Beckmen just lifts an eyebrow.

Excuse me, captain, who had prefected the 'opps still don't have my sea legs' trip-and-fall into their first mates lap by the age of 17?

Shanks: Beckmen, you caught me! *Shamelessly nuzzles up* Thank goodness! I could be a devil's fruit user after all and - Ahh!

Benn: *Drops Shanks straight over the side of the ship into the water*

Shanks: *Sputtering* What what that!?

Benn: Checking to see if you had eaten a devil's fruit on us, Capatin.

Benn: You didn't.

Smart ass. But he can't resist Shanks forever. Shanks will wear him down eventually.

Next time Mihawk tracks him down for another match - because you know he gets bored way quicker than he'll ever admit and Shanks is at least amusing a challenge - Shanks makes a big deal out of how Mihawk follows him around, "accidentally" revealing they slept together, sighing about how it's so hard to resist him.

Benn Beckmen is just leaning against the side of the ship, sipping his booze.

Shanks: -and I can't stay for hours like last time!!

Mihawk: Are you quite done?

Shanks: *whispering* Does Benn look jealous?

Mihawk: He looks bored. Much like I am. Is this some strange attempt to get out of my challenge, Akagami?

Shanks: What? No, come on I told you I was game. But, hey, could you do me a favor? Maybe like try and kiss me or something? Like take a swing like your going to hit me but then stop shot and grab me by the waist instead.

Mihawk: .... Trickery is beneath you. Besides, you're absolute rubbish at it.

Shanks: Oh, come on, I would totally help you get laid if you asked!

Mihawk: .... *Sigh* I want a proper match afterwards.

Mihawk: *In a forced, monotone voice* After this I will take you to my lair and have my way with you, Akagami.

Mihawk: ... My lair? Really?

Shanks: *Holding up cue card with quickly scribbled line* What? That is how you talk.

Mihawk: I can't believe I wasted precious hours of light tracking you to this atrociously rural port.

Shanks: See? Now, read the next one.

Benn: Captain? If this is going to take all night, I am going to go join the rest of the men in the tavern.

Shanks: Huh? Wait! Benn! What if Miha really stabs me this time!?

Benn: *Salutes Shanks with his bottle* Sounds like that is his plan captain. Have a good 'challenge'.

Shanks: What? No... *Reaching out hand, like he might die if Benn leaves, looking completely devastated* Not even a little jealous...

Mihawk: You couldn't have thought that pantomime would actually work.

Shanks: Benny, don't leave me.... *Turns to Mihawk, immediately brightening* Oh, well, there's always tomorrow. Hey, Miha, guess whose free all night and horny as a pirate in the calm belt?

Mihawk: .... *Sigh* Very well.

Mihawk might as well get something for the trip he made. Although, he's reconsidering if the sex was actually worth the trouble after he ends up listening to Shanks worry half the night that Benn is shacking up with someone else (after a couple hours of rough and raw fucking, admittedly).

Is it the hat? He likes his captain's hat. Miha, you think his captain's hat is sexy, don't you?

Mihawk: It's utterly ridiculous.

Shanks: ....

Shanks: ....

Shanks: *Smile* Ahh, Miha, I knew you liked the hat!

Shanks: What do you old Northerns find sexy?

Mihawk: I am only four years older than you.

Mihawk: And silence.

Trying to convince Mihawk to go spy on Beckman for him. Shanks doesn't actually care if he does sleep with someone else, it's more that Beckman didn't immediately turn angry and jealous like Buggy would have that has him paranoid.

Mihawk is going to fuck this annoying red head again just to shut him up.

Mihawk: Maybe he doesn't like red haired boys who don't know when to be quiet?

The next morning Shanks is pacing among his poor crew that's gotten stuck listening to Shanks obsess about Beckman again. IS IT REALLY THE HAIR!?

It's not even a matter of Shanks's age (or obvious immaturity). I mean, Beckman got on board and stayed, didn't he? Beckman just enjoys watching Shanks try so hard to get his attention. Like Benn's attention isn't constantly on Shanks. He had to when his captain is always one step away from disaster.

He only left him with Mihawk because it was clear Dracule is not a real danger to Beckman's captain.

Except maybe insulting him to death. But Beckman is pretty sure Shanks can handle it. He's met Buggy. He's suspects Shanks LIKES it if anything.

It gets to the point where when they dock somewhere and see Mihawk waiting, or come back to the ship and spot his familiar silhouette, most of the crew goes off somewhere for another drink (sometimes the newer kids will stay to watch such an awesome fight, everyone else is like... Look, you'll have plenty of opportunities later. This is not a one off.)

Benn just takes a look around, nods to Mihawk (a silent signal for, "he's all yours, do with him as you please, if anything happens to him I will track you down and make sure your last few hours on this blue world are as painful as humanly possible") and heads off.

Oh, it's just the Hawk boy.

That's fine then.

Benn use to be a sailor on a trade ship between the North, East, West and Grand Line. He's seen it all.

They called him The Gun Slinger BEFORE he joined Shanks's crew and became a pirate.

So this young, broke ass kid from the streets of some near artic northern island trying to pass himself off as a Lower North rich type has a thing for his captain? Not really enough to keep Beckman up at night, no matter how good at swords he's supposed to be

Besides, he's pretty sure for the kid to keep tracking down Shanks, he must be bored out of his skull. He's not going to do anything to endanger their captain.

Not if Shanks is the only thing he can find to keep him entertained.

One day, Mihawk is going to be waiting on the dock when a bunch of Red Haired pirates are stumbling home, laughing and chattering amongst themselves (Shanks's crew always seems to be in a good mood). One of them will catch sight if Mihawk and walk by with a smile, patting him on the shoulder.

The captain's occupied. Seems likely he'll be 'occupied' for a good while, too.

Mihawk won't smile, but he will think "So you finally warmed him up to you, Akagami?" and snort lightly.

Poor Benn, though. Mihawk could never imagine being with someone so much younger than him. Shanks is only four years his junior and already it strains Mihawk to put up with his occasional moments of "youthful whimsy" (aka being an annoying, immature child)

"A young, cocky pirate with strangely colored bright hair"

Mihawk just putting that on his Not To Do List.

That lasted until Roronoa.

(Mihawk just looking at Zoro knowing this is bad news.)

Mihawk: *Takes list from Benn*

*Cross out, scribbles*

*Hands back to Benn*

Do Not Do:

- A young, cocky pirate with strangely colored bright hair a silly hat, who is overly dramatic and in any way, shape or form related to Gol D Rogers.

Ace: Hey what's up?

Mihawk: *Takes list from Benn*

Go ahead, Benn, laugh it up. Mihawk is aware he has a type. Young, pretty, and utterly insane.

After that night where Shanks was otherwise 'occupied', it's over six months before Mihawk sees his friend his rival again. He is, as expected, far too smug and proud looking.

Shanks: Oh, Miha, so sorry you came all this way, I'm-

Benn: Well, I'm off, captain.

Shanks: What!? But we, you, I... Benn, hessoeexyarentyouworriedforyourcaptain?

Benn: *patting Mihawk on the shoulder* Have fun with him. Don't forget to return him by noon tomorrow, we have a schedule. Oh, but if you can babysit him for at least four hours? That would be great.

Shanks: BABYSIT!?

Mihawk: I suppose I can be troubled to do so.

Shanks: TROUBLED!?

Benn: Thanks, Hawkeyes. I owe you.

Shanks: *Fake tears clinging to his lashes* You two are so mean!

No, don't feel bad for him. Shanks is just trying to guilt the two of them into bed at the same time, and they both know it.

Thanks no thanks, they're not into that. But Shanks can be pretty cute when he's trying so hard (Benn) and at least he's not as boring as everything else in this world (Mihawk) so they allow him to keep up the act

Shanks: *looking at Zoro's wanted poster over Mihawk's shoulder* But I feel like you'd gladly go to bed with him and his captain if he asked. That doesn't seem fair to me. You'd never go that far with me and Benn.

Mihawk: *Eyes Benn*

Mihawk: *DEAD. ONLY.*

Mihawk: I have my reasons.

They can and do agree on plenty of things, including reciprocally not being that attracted to each other.

Shanks: Sounds fake to me

Shanks: But guys!

Shanks: This isn't about you

He's gonna need you guys to drop the egos and focus on what HE wants. I.E., being in the middle of two sexy Northern men.

Honestly, so mean to poor Shanks!