#u know what? let's invite disaster

[tinycoffeeroom]

thank god for bikes | arthurtv

inspired by @mrstelevision 🤍

face claim: steph bohrer ♡

request: here !

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📍 london

liked by gkbarry, max_balegde, and 98,302 others

y/nsworld about last night ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

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user1 i'm in love with you

gkbarry cant believe i didn't even get photo creds ↳ y/nsworld please forgive my sins oh great gkbarry

user2 y/n!! i think the guys u mentioned on ur twt was george clarke and arthurtv!! arthur posted on twt about george getting hit by a bike on a wall!! ↳ y/nsworld !! let me check his twt <3

liked by y/nsworld, wroetoshaw and 29,492 others

arthurtv first pic taken moments before disaster (at least this one won't leave a scar)

georgeclarkeey don't know what was worse, the bike ptsd or you dribbling down your shirt ↳ arthurtv your mum doesn't mind my dribbling ↳ y/nsworld the dribbling was funnier to watch tbh ↳ georgeclarkeey take that mr television

gkbarry i didn't even notice it was you guys hiding in the corner ↳ georgeclarkeey just wanted some alone time with my boyfriend x ↳ arthurtv stop telling people i'm your boyfriend!!

👤 max_balegde liked by max_balegde, arthurtv and 38,028 others

y/nsworld wine in coffee cups and classic literature in a park, my idea of heaven ꕤ

max_balegde got home off my head and now andrews mad i've ruined dinner plans ↳ y/nsworld andrew baby im so sorry :( ↳ andrew_spanndy could never blame you xx ↳ max_balegde god just date her already wooooow

gkbarry regret introducing the two of you, my poor ears will never recover from this ↳ y/nsworld thats your fault for putting two professional yappers together xx

arthurtv pretty sure that's bride you're reading... wouldn't call werewolf smut classic literature ↳ y/nsworld and how do YOU know what's in the book? 🤨

👤 arthur_tv, max_balegde liked by y/nsworld, arthurnfhill and 30,395 others

georgeclarkeey totally normal photo to promote the newest useless hotline ep x

max_balegde rip my purple crocs... can't believe y/n stole them right off my feet... ↳ user2 !!! y/n at the arthurtv podcast recording?? my y/ntv senses are tingling ↳ user3 i'm pretty sure she was there bc her and max are friends... ♥️ y/nsworld ↳ user2 they've never randomly had their friends at recordings, dw you'll join the y/ntv cult soon

📍 ibiza

👤 georgeclarkeey, chrismd, arthurnfhill liked by arthurnfhill, y/nsworld and 45,028 others

arthurtv thank you spotify for inviting us out! (photo cred: y/nsworld)

user2 i am going to scream from the rooftops, y/ntv'ers unite!!

y/nsworld should receive compensation for having to look at george's bare grippers the entire weekend ↳ arthurtv will bring round some wine this weekend ↳ y/nsworld good boy ↳ user2 ... y'all are fucking with me atp

📍 ibiza

liked by arthurtv, gkbarry and 83,028 others

y/nsworld beach bum 𓇼

gkbarry happiness looks so good on you ↳ y/nsworld i love the bones of you

user2 !! WHO TOOK THE PHOTO I FEEL INSANE ↳ y/nsworld my friend! :)

📍 ibiza

liked by y/nsworld, georgeclarkeey and 49,204 others

arthurtv decided to stay in the sunshine a few more days :)

user3 user2 i fear you may be onto something ↳ user2 i'm gonna eat glass. like i am actually putting shards in my mouth rn ↳ y/nsworld omg pls don't

y/nsworld looking good mr television ↳ arthurtv why thank you miss world

liked by arthurtv, max_balegde and 83,028 others

y/nsworld use code ynsworld for 15% off ⋆⭒˚｡⋆

max_balegde leaving my bf for you rn. ↳ andrew_spanndy not if i leave you first ↳ y/nsworld i can date both of you at the same time xx

arthurtv djsidjief djg ↳ y/nsworld you ok mr television?

y/nsworld didn't even think about what i was wearing when i went to go see mr hill sing about cold coffee, sorry guys you got the wrong arthur xx

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👤 y/nsworld liked by y/nsworld, arthurnfhill and 93,294 others

arthurtv someone forgot to change over to their finsta so i guess it's hard launch time... somehow got the most gorgeous girl on earth to agree to date me, must be my fantastic sense of humour

y/nsworld lbr most of them already knew, we weren't exactly subtle ↳ arthurtv speak for yourself xx

theburntchip it's the big ol' hog you got in them trousers ♥️ y/nsworld ↳ arthurtv ah yes forgot about that

max_balegde take care of her or me and andrew are snatching her real quick ↳ y/nsworld ... i may have to do some rethinking

user2 i can't believe i was right... VINDICATION ♥️ arthurtv, y/nsworld

👤 arthur_tv liked by arthurtv, gkbarry and 104,845 others

y/nsworld told him i forgot to change to finsta but really i just wanted to show that i bagged a hottie ✮⋆˙

georgeclarkeey still can't believe you snatched him from right under my nose ↳ y/nsworld we're still in the honeymoon phase so i may give him back x ↳ arthurtv what the fuck

gkbarry crying into a pint of ice cream thanks xx ↳ y/nsworld you know you're the love of my life xx

y/nsworld also user2 sorry for gaslighting you xx ↳ user2 i have never been so happy to be gaslighted could do a happy lil cry ↳ y/nsworld our fave y/ntv'er we love you ♡

[muneca-lemon-steppa]

I LOOOOVE Ur Alfie fics. Could u do just general headcannons about being married and starting a family with him? ❤️

Hi bb!!! Im so glad you like them! I hope you enjoy these HCs, I know I kind of went overboard! Maybe I’ll do a continuation?? Maybe I’ll focus on different aspect of life with him? Idk we’ll workshop it. As always, sending all my love 💕💕💕

Married Life with Alfie Solomons - HCs

In planning the wedding, you initially were planning on a small wedding. Nothing too extravagant, just close family and a party at the house.

That’s what you planned anyway. It grew and grew with every family member that “HAD to come treacle!” Both of your families are rather large and extended. Mixed with business associates that had to be invited for sake of peace… it exploded into a 200 person affair.

Despite the fact that Alfie prefers to not be disturbed, it ended up being a grand affair. Drinks flowed. Laughter was raucous. The dancing never stopped! And there were only 3 fights, which Alfie involved himself in only 2 of them. Needless to say, it went rather well!

But your favorite part of the night above all was when you got home. Still giggling and warm from the party, you’re pulled into the parlor by your darling Alfie. Shirt half done, and hair a disaster, he looks so so handsome. His eyes so soft, he puts on the radio, bringing you in close to him, “Mrs. Solomons… would you give an old man a dance?”

And you do. Song after song, twirling around the parlor, enjoying the life that had a new layer of meaning.

Despite Alfie’s insistence that you shouldn’t keep working because, “No love of mine should be lifting a finger.” You kept your job at the distillery as his secretary and head of the jewelry shop. You insisted to Alfie that keeping your job that still made you feel like your own person, not just Alfie’s spouse.

There was something so intimate and special in waking up every morning with him, walking to the office with him, going through the work day, and coming home with him. If Alfie was clingy before, it had only grown worse since your nuptials. He loved having you near. He never wanted you away from his side.

Though the mornings were sweet, the evenings were by far your favorite with Alfie. Coming home, drawing the curtains closed to hide away in your own little oasis of solitude and quiet.

Instead of leaving you to do all the cooking and cleaning for the evening meal like other men of the time, Alfie stays wrapped close to your apron strings. As you craft a soul warming meal, he stays chopping and cutting, washing up the dishes as you go to ensure that the evening is free of any impediments.

Alfie takes Shabbat incredibly seriously. He is on a strict schedule on those days, and actually forbids you from working on Fridays, to let you prepare anything needed for the Sabbath. Many times your family joins you in your home, and Alfie takes the lead in prayers. Though you didn't think it was possible, your heart grows with adoration each time you watch him quietly go through the ritual. Watching his devotion and care to the faith and your people's history reminds you of the type of man he his.

Marriage with Alfie does not come without some arguments. It is Alfie Solomons. Both of you stubborn and passionate, it’s what makes you a formidable force together, but it also brings some… loud outbursts.

It usually is about whether or not he’s being wise in his decisions. But it also comes out when he thinks you’re not being careful. When a jealous flare rises up in him. Or just when he gets a little snippy.

But it doesn’t take much to make up. Once you and Alfie have let it all out, either one of you will go to the other and bridge the gap. When he’s particularly cross, all it takes is for you to find him in his favorite chair. Lean over the back of it, draping your arms across his neck. “I’m so sorry Alfie,” you whisper in his ear, a particular weakness, “I know you’re just looking out for me. Forgive me?” A few kisses in his neck and he’ll be dragging you into his lap, grumbling about how much of a vicious siren you are.

When you’re cross… Alfie pulls out all the theatrics. He comes to your room where you’ve holed up, seething. He gets on his knees, taking your hand in his, “Awe treacle… have pity on an old man. I’m sorry my love, I am. Don’t punish me too harshly now! Please give you husband a kiss yeah? This life is so short! Let’s not go to bed angry my love!”

And of course you forgive him. How can you not when he kisses you so sweetly, and begs so beautifully.

It will be a few years before you and Alfie have children. Alfie was worried that he wouldn’t be a good father due to his age, but in his heart of hearts he wanted little ones. He yearned to play with the kids on the floor with the dogs. To swing them around in the garden. Watch you be an incredible mother. Though he was afraid, you knew he would be the perfect father.

Once you both confessed your mutual desire for kids, it happened shockingly quickly. But is anyone really shocked? Alfie is determined and disciplined above all else.

Once you do get pregnant, Alfie does put his foot down. You are not coming into the office. It is far too dangerous for you to be coming in around all 'that business'. And Alfie heard from someone (he made it up) that working isn't good for birthing or babies.

He benches you for the entire pregnancy, and brings his former housekeeper Sarah out of retirement to help tend to you.

Every night Alfie would come home with something new for you. Brilliant and fragrant flowers. A sweet from the bakery. A new necklace or bracelet that you just had to have. "Growing a baby is hard work love! Especially with my kids! Big ol brutes growing in there eh?"

Whenever you became shy or uncomfortable about your changing body, Alfie would just croon in your ear, "Oh my love, you are absolutely radiant. An angel from God yeah? No no, a goddess. You're an absolute goddess yeah?" He'll rub your swollen feet as you cry, kissing your ankles as you release your stress and worries about the day.

As you can imagine... naming the baby (or babies as he liked to remind you of the possibility) was an incredible ordeal. No name was suitable.

"No no, he'll get hit. If I knew a little boy with that name in school, I would decimate him." "Now treacle that doesn't even sound good with Solomons!" "Mmm no. I don't like the meaning of the name. Not a good omen." "Can't do that name. I killed a man with that name."

After six days!! You both are able to come to an agreement. Joseph for a boy. Chava, after his mother. In the evenings, Alfie takes to reading to the baby, referring to them by both names. "Alfie dearest, there's only one in there!" "No no treacle. I know they're both in there. You may only feel one, but that's because Joseph is just a little shy ain't you my boy? Chava is going to be a little spitfire, just like her mum. They're in there, I know they are."

At night, Alfie pulls you to his side as he always does, with a protective hand splayed over your swollen belly. It's getting harder for you to sleep at night, so many times you lie awake, staring at your husband, running your own hand over your stomach, feeling the kicks and turns.

The prospect of twins is near impossible. But Alfie... he is so certain. And sometimes... sometimes you feel an extra flutter. An extra bit of energy that is almost missed.

The labor is hard. Long. Your mother comes to help along with Sarah and the midwife, and you had never felt pains like that before. Despite Sarah's admonishment, Alfie pushes himself into the room, wanting to be right next to you the entire time. He never leaves your side, brushing the sweat off your brow, kissing your head, reminding you how strong you are.

After 12 hours of labor, Joseph finally makes his appearance in the world. A large baby, with fat cheeks and long limbs. After a few announcing cries, Joseph settles into the arms of his father, fast asleep after his long journey. Alfie rejoices with you, holding up his son with joy, "Joseph! My boy! Welcome my son!"

You smile, a final sense of relief washing over you, until you feel another push coming.

7 minutes later, Chava comes careening into Earth, as loud as the choirs of heaven. Alfie catches Chava, marveling at how such a little body can produce such a sound. As Alfie cleans her face he just whispers, "This one... she will be an opera star."

Alfie joins you in bed once everything is settled. You spend the rest of the evening in and out of sleep. When awake you and Alfie just take turns holding the babies, marveling in how precious they are. How absolutely beautiful they are. While you sleep, Alfie walks around the house with both in his arms, just talking to them.

“Now you might not know this yet my angels… but you have the absolute best mother in the world. No I know, I don’t know how I got to marry her. But she is perfect. The best. We gotta protect her yeah?”

Alfie is the one who gets up in the night. Doesn’t want you to do more than you have to. And you’re already doing so much. Plus, he feels like he missed so much already, waiting till he was older to have a family and all. He doesn’t want to miss a single moment.

Alfie becomes even more soft and tender with you. Each morning he starts his day worshipping you almost. Telling you how much he loves you, how much he loves your children, how much he would give to protect you.

But he does become more paranoid about the dangers surrounding him. There’s two men posted at the door of the house at all times now, and you aren’t to go anywhere without either him or another trusted member of the gang. Though you fought him on it at first, you relented when you saw the palpable fear in his eyes.

He loves to show off the kids. He’s just so proud. He loves how much they look like you. “Better for them eh treacle? Glad they got the more beautiful out of the two.”

And while they did favor your features, they both carried Alfie’s eyes. Both gentle Joseph and powerful Chava carry that roaring ocean behind those dark lashes that brought you to Alfie all those years ago.

As the years go by, you only grow to love each other more and more. And every risk and every trial is worth the beautiful dream you get to have with Alfie.

[pouringmyheartoutforpaper]

heyy i have a request for the steve x dove universe bcos it’s literally my favourite thing atm

could u possibly do something like where their at a party and someone tries something on reader and they’re really pushy about it even though she keeps saying no. obvs steve cannot have anyone touching or upsetting his sweetest girl so gets the guy to go away. while steve is dealing with the guy maybe reader starts having a panic attack because that guy had really scared her and robin tries to comfort her but obvs the only person capable of that is steve. when steve’s done w the guy he notices how distressed reader is and just comforts her, holds her and just FLUFF.

i got this idea because i noticed how protective of r steve is and i thought this would be a good example of it😍😍🩷🩷🩷🩷

sorry it took a few days ! also this is not proofread because it is three am so my apologies.

warning! this contains depictions of harassment and a panic attack. if this is not something you feel like you can read right now, please please click away. there is no shame in setting boundaries with yourself. there are lots of other stories. please be safe <3

the lights in the house were an array of purples and blues. robin’s friend threw a party, and robin insisted that dove and steve both come so she wouldnt be alone. dove dances as much as she can, but after about an hour she ends up crashing into steves chest. theyre leaned against the wall, and steves hands are covering her ears from the loud music.

“stevie, gonna go get some water. ill be right back.”

he expected her to stay in his line of vision, and by the time she disappeared around the corner into the kitchen, he was in panic mode. the party housed a few unsavory characters, and his dove’s shyness could lead to disaster.

in the kitchen dove had asked the hostess where the water resided, and she had kindly gotten her a glass of water, making sure to fill it in front of her so she knew it wasnt tampered with.

unfortunately, the hostess was called away, and a man around five to ten years older than dove entered the kitchen. she offered a small smile, and he took that as an invitation in his drunken state.

“hey pretty thing” he slurred.

she ignored him, and tried to exit the room, only for him to grab her hand.

“where y’ goin? you don’t want to hang out with me, baby? if you didn’t want the attention you shouldve picked a different dress.”

she ripped her hand away, and she knew the only way to get him to back off would be to mention steve. men like this respect women not as people, but as property.

“i have a boyfriend. hes looking for me.”

“not very hard, he left you here with me.”

in the distance she see steves head of hair frantically searching the house for the kitchen, and as the man kept babbling about nonsense and trying to grab her waist, she yelled his name.

his head shot to where he heard her voice, catching her eye instantly.

“help,” she mouthed.

dove had never seen a man move so quickly in her life. it seemed a second before steve stood tall between them. he held her behind him, and dove knew that he would have to be scary. she closed her eyes and gripped onto his arm.

after many words were spoken, mostly from steve, the other man merely slurred nonsense. he pushed the stranger into the shelves behind him before escorting dove out of the room.

“it’s okay, it’s okay, i’m here, i’ve got you, we’re gonna go home,” he whispered assuringly as he guided her out of the crowded room, trying to ignore the urge to go back and hurt the stranger, knowing it would scare her more. he was plagued with guilt and fear. guilt that he had let her out of his sight. the sobs come from his dove quickly. he helps her into the back seat of his car and locks the doors.

“hey, hey, look at me, youre okay, tell me what happened” he said, his voice shaking.

“nothing,” she says breathlessly, “nothing bad- just-“ her breathing becomes panicked, and the words arent forming. she had told him about her panic attacks before, but he had never seen her experience one. luckily he had done research.

“panic attack” she forced out between short breaths. the air couldnt reach her lungs, at least it felt like it couldnt. steve was panicking, trying to regulate her breathing. trying to soothe while also digging through his center console for an inhaler.

“hey, look at me, try to take a deep breath with me. i know, i know its hard, i just need you to try.” he said, taking her hand and placing it on his chest, breathing in a long breath and watching her struggle to do the same. but after three breaths she was calm enough that steve could help her with the inhaler.

once her breath returned to her, she buried her face into his chest, apologizing profusely.

“you dont need to be sorry. you did nothing wrong.” he repeated the phrase like a mantra while he rocked her back and forth.

she looked up at him. “i love you”

“i love you too. so much. you feel better?”

“yeah i- he was just being scary and he kept- grabbing me and he wouldn’t let me pass. i- it just- it freaked me out.”

“im so sorry honey. are you hurt? i shouldve went after you.” he whispered.

“no! you didnt do anything wrong. im not hurt, just got scared.”

“yeah? how about i take us home and we can order food, maybe watch a movie or something? and then we can talk about it tomorrow morning if you want to.”

“yes please”

[i-cant-sing]

Wait your god has never disappointed you before that sounds really nice I’m happy for you when I pray to my god I always feel like nothing happens like I was having a breakdown and asked god for an answer and no response

Omg I don't wanna sound like I'm trying brain wash u or inviting u to a cult, but like Islam as a religion? The best. I am not kidding when I say that Allah has never disappointed me. Everything I have ever asked for, I either got it (immeadiately or with delay), did not get it and realised it was harmful for me, GOT SOMETHING BETTER THAN WHAT I ASKED FOR.

Allah and me? He is my Lord and Provider and God, but also like my best friend because when no one got me, HE GOT ME. I think there's been one too many times in my life when I'm like "there's nothing else humanly possible for me to do anything about this." And then Allah steps in and is like "I'm here! What you want?"

Like idc what religion or spiritual thing you guys have going on, there's just that one time, one experience where deep down, you know that some higher power was at play. There's just no way this is all a coincidence.

I BOMB a test, and like I know, I KNOW I'm gonna fail it, but I pray to Allah to just let me pass and HE HELPSSSS.

I ask for a holiday, Allah gives me a holiday. I ask for weight loss without working out? I lose 7 kgs. I feel sad or depressed or insomnia? I pray (usually Isha or Tahajud) AND ITS GOOD MENTAL HEALTH WEEK FOR ME.

Love you Allah💖🫶

And like not to mention, Islam as a religion has already told us about so many things that are now backed up by science, but Islam did it like what??? 2500 years ago??? Like waking up early, or about the earthquakes and natural disasters, or why you should sit or drink in a particular posture. (Also it mentioned a lot about current world affairs as well- Palestine). But not only that, the prophetic stories are so beautiful and heart touching. Like did I bawl like a baby when I read about Ali and Fatima's love story (and also the Ashura tragedy) and Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) interactions and guidance and heartbreaks and sufferings and 😭😭😭😭

[sacharinee]

cute moments i imagine with peter pt. 2!

pairing: peter parker x reader

wc: 2006

a/n: hi guys!! thank u for the support on my last post - it means a lot to me :,) i dont rlly like this one but oh well. i swear these posts r supposed to be little blurbs but they keep writing out to be kinda long. anywaysss, i’d always imagine peter being the cutest when shopping with him. also peter is 100% a passenger princess and u cant convince me otherwise. this isnt my best work but im kinda tired of editing it so i hope u like it :(

part: I lll

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“may, have you seen my good cologne?!” 

you straighten your outfit as you stand outside peter’s apartment, coming to pick him up for your little shopping date. you’re dressed in a pretty black skirt with sheer dark stockings and a fuzzy cardigan to keep you warm. you know peter loves your skirts.

“what good cologne?” “the one i bought two months ago? the one that smells nice?” “oh… i threw it out. happy used the rest of it before he took me out to dinner.”

you can already picture his pinched face in disgust and you chuckle at the thought of peter and happy using the same cologne.

you’ve barely knocked three times before peter opens the door, hair messy, pink cheeks, and a soft smile adorning his cute face. 

“hi baby, you look pretty,” he breathes out. you giggle at his appearance, “hi petey,” planting a sweet kiss on his cheek.

“oh my goodness, y/n? hi! i haven’t seen you around in a while, i missed you!” you see may peek her head behind your boyfriend, looking extremely excited to see you.

you open your mouth to greet her but get cut off when peter rushes out the door grabbing his coat, “kay see you later, may! love you!” he departs. you sneak a quick “bye!” to let her know you heard her.

peter grabs your hand and swings your laced hands together as you both walk down the dark hallway, “that was mean,” you tease. peter sighs back at you, “she would’ve made you stay and try her new meatloaf recipe, and trust me, you don’t want to try it.”

his comment makes you laugh. you guess he’s right, but may’s been a second mom to you ever since you can remember, and you’ve had your fair share of eating one of her meal disasters before.

“hold on,” peter pushes you into a small and secluded corner of the corridor, shielding you from looking at the rest of the view and only him. he looks a little nervous when he looks into your eyes, then down at your plump and inviting lips. your left-hand grabs onto his bicep, “what’re you-” he takes you by surprise, shutting you up quickly with a deprived kiss. his fingers are warm against your chilled face. his rough, calloused fingers graze your soft puffy cheeks and you lean deeper into him, tilting your head for more access. 

you feel his other hand snake around the small of your back, gently tugging you closer to him and your hand grips tighter against his flexed arm. your free hand trickles up the side of his neck feather-like, sending chills down his spine. only you can make his knees weak and leave him completely melted into a puddle with a single touch. it’s why he’s addicted to you. he craves how serene you cause him to be one minute, and then utterly captivated and haunted by you the next. 

his kiss was urgent and needy, one that was suppressed for days due to his absence from a previous mission. his hand moves from your cheek to your velvety hair, and his fingers travel behind your ear, delicately carding himself through your smooth strands. his mouth is hot on yours and his tongue sweeps slightly across your bottom lip, to which you eagerly responded by opening your mouth wider, inviting him. you hum into the kiss; you feel soft against him, silken and satiny. you’re too much for him. your blazing touch, your round lips, that sweet honey-like scent of yours, and that short skirt you wear- you make him dizzy. 

peter breaks off first, licking his lips and faintly panting; your foreheads rest against each other. a simple “missed you” with a shrug is all of an excuse he can muster up for you. you peck his lips gingerly, “i missed you too.” a shy smile graces his face and you think it’s wild how diffident he quickly gets after knocking the wind out of you. you snap out of whatever trance peter held you in and realize you really want to get going on your planned shopping date with him, “c’mon, it gets dark quickly.”

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

you and peter both make it to your car in the busy parking lot to which he walks a few steps before you, coming to your side of the car and opening the door for you. you laugh at his gesture and express an appreciative “thank you” before getting in. he’s been doing this for years and it never fails to make you all giddy inside. you think it’s the cutest thing ever, and it makes you laugh even more when you consider the fact that he’s riding in the passenger seat and he still makes romantic efforts for you. 

you drop your purse off in the backseat when peter enters and buckles in, then you start the car and pull out of the parking lot, off to your first destination. “so where we goin’?” he hooks up his phone to your bluetooth and plays music from your shared playlist.

“well, we could go to barnes and noble? i finished reading all the books on my list so i was thinking i could buy some more, and then we could get some food if you’re hungry.” “sure, y/n/n” he smiles at you. 

you originally wanted to make it a girl’s day with mj and betty; you figured it’d be nice to spend some time with your two other best friends. but once mj heard the word ‘shopping’ come out of your mouth, she immediately declined, claiming that she needed to study for an upcoming geology exam. you understood at first but then realized classes didn’t even start for another four weeks because of winter break. betty also had to decline when she got asked to babysit last minute. but you don’t mind peter tagging along instead, in fact, you prefer it. you’ve been separated for quite some time since he went away on that big mission. 

back when you and peter were both 16, he got his license a full month before you did. however, you were the one that got a car first, a hand-me-down, which was gifted to you by your parents when you turned 17. so for the next two years, you’d arrive at peter’s apartment before school, pick him up, and carpool together. 

you don’t mind it though, you like driving. peter once confessed to you that being in the driver’s seat makes him a little anxious and causes his senses to go a little haywire, especially driving in new york. ever since then, peter prefers to be your little passenger princess, bringing you coffee or bagels from delmar’s deli as a thank you.

so you enjoy doing the little things for peter. you like making his life easier any way you can. 

usually, when you’re out running errands or going to the mall, peter rarely has time to go with you. because of his part-time job as spider-man, it takes a big chunk of his freedom away from hanging around with you. but the second he does, he’ll drop whatever he’s doing to be with you. and today is one of those days.

“okay, we’re here!” the beloved bookstore could almost be considered your second home, seeing as the amount of time you spend here is excessive. you reach out for your purse in the backseat, turn off the engine, and open your car door. it barely even opens a few inches when it forcefully shuts back on you. peter’s staring right at you through the window with a blank expression and pursed lips. all you can offer is a look of shock and confusion. he waits a few seconds before opening the car door for you with a bashful smile forming on his face. 

you gape at him in bewilderment as you shriek with laughter, “what the- what is wrong with you!?” peter’s no better, laughing back at you and grabbing your hand to pull you out of the car.

“y- your face! oh my god,” he pretends to wipe a tear from his eye. you roll your eyes and shake your head at his antics, “i can’t stand you.”

when you enter the store, your loud banter outside is a stark contrast to the environment inside. it’s quiet and reserved, people are consumed in a different reality as they flip through the pages of the book they curiously selected. 

“let’s go over here.” you drag him into the romance section, requesting him to have his arms outward parallel to each other. for the next ten minutes, peter follows you around like a lost puppy, carrying your large stack of books while you give a brief description of every novel you pick up. he thinks it’s adorable how excited you get about the littlest things.

“ooh! this one is my favorite type of trope,” you pick out another book and whisper the next words that come out of your mouth, “it’s a mafia romance.” you watch his face contort into disgust and confusion, “ew, why would anyone want to date a mobster, that’s so dangerous. they’re so risky.” he shakes his head in distaste. you snort back at him, “why do you think i’m with you?” peter immediately frowns back at you, “hey!”

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

you take some time with your boyfriend to sort through the books that you’re thinking of purchasing. peter wasn’t much help, every time you’d ask for his opinion on a book, he’d mumble the same “yea, i like that one” or “that’s a nice book.” nevertheless, you narrow your choices down to three novels, and head down to the registers to check out. 

once hearing your total, you shuffle your wallet out of your purse to pay, only to immediately hear the transaction go through successfully. confusion paints your face until you look at peter shoving his phone into his back pocket and grabbing your stack of books, “we don’t need the receipt, thank you,” and he’s off. 

you rush to catch up with him. “peter,” you groan, “why would you do that? you didn’t have to pay for my books.” “i know” is all he says. you instantly feel bad. although you appreciate peter doing sweet things like this for you, you’re always against him spending his money on you like that. 

he’s by the exit when peter realizes you’re still standing near the end of the registers. he walks back up to you, “baby, it’s no big deal, really. i haven’t seen you in a while. i wanted to do something nice for you.” his eyes are genuine when he offers a small shrug. you mirror peter’s blushing smile.

“thank you.” his eyes crinkle when you plant a kiss on the corner of his mouth. “at least let me buy you a latte.” you tug at peter’s hand and he lets you drag him to the connected starbucks. “you sit,” urging him to take a seat in the seating area. you don’t trust him to come up with you to registers anymore. when you place your order, you remember you still own a gift card with leftover credit from the cafe and you hand it to the cashier, deciding to use it after glancing at the expiration date. you turn back to your boyfriend, watching him flip through your chosen books. 

when the baristas call out your name, you happily take the drink, giving it to peter, and taking his hand to lead yourselves back to the car. he takes a sip of his latte and raises his brows in contentment, “you still remember my order?” “course i do, it’s the same as always.”

you’re buckling yourself in and starting the car when he takes another sip of his hot milk coffee, “did you really buy my drink with a leftover gift card?” your shocked face tinges in embarrassment and you look back at his raised eyebrow and smug smile.

“what, it expires today!”

[matthewscherrypie]

ׂׂૢ b l u e. ✧.* M.S & C.S

Chapter 2…

Warningsss: smoking, cheating (don’t do this) drinking, sex, p in v, cussing, arguing (for all chapters)

Summary: Matt & y/n start of as friends but it slowly turns into something more, what will happen when she ends up with his brother and leaves their connection unsatisfied..?

chapter 2,

It has been 2 days since Matt sent that text, and i feel like I’ve talked more in these 2 days then I have my whole life.

It’s been FaceTime after FaceTime, text after text, 24/7. It started out with us talking about all of our shopping issues, and then we started talking about our music taste, which gave me the idea to show him my room.

My rooms covered in posters of my favorite artists, and favorite songs so that’s why I showed him, we ended up liking almost all the same music artists and having the exact taste.

We talked about our family life and what our childhoods were like, we talked about our favorite shows and movies, turns out our 2 favorite movies are the same. 10 things I hate about you and salt burn.

Turns out our local movie theater is reshowing there most popular seen movies of all time since it’s there 10 years as a company or whatever, and saltburn is one of them.

Matt told me this and invited me and that leaves me here, struggling what to wear.

“FUCK MY LIFE BRO” I yell overly loud. “What’s wrong?” Ella says, coming to my room. Me and Ella have lived together since our 18th birthdays, we live in a pretty tiny apartment just 9 minutes away from the triplets…not that I’ve googled or or anything?!?

“I can’t find anything to wear” I say. “Okay..where are you even going?” “And it’s a fucking disaster in here” she says. “I’m going to the movie theaters with Matt” I say. “OK WHEN HOW AND WHAT?” She says.

“It’s not that big of a deal, they are replaying our favorite movie for the 10 year anniversary thing, and he said it was a good idea for us to hangout and watch it together” I say. “Is he who you’ve been texting constantly, and talking too on the phone constantly?” She asks.

“Yeah..” I say. “Oh bitchhh, that’s not good.” She says. “You’ve been smiling at your phone and giggling 24/7” she says. “I knowww” I say.

“Okay let’s get to the point” she says. “You need to wear something casual for the movie theatres, but it needs to be kind of revealing you know?” She says.

“Tank top and sweatpants?” I ask. “Yeah, blue tank, grey sweats” she says. “Blue is his favorite color” I say. “Yeah, I know, that’s the point” she says.

I put on the grey sweats and blue tank top, and then start ruffling my hair. “No no nooo” she says, pulling away my hands. “You need to have your hair in lose curls, so it’s not too much but still very beautiful” she says.

“I haven’t liked anyone since..you know..” I say. “I know.” She says. “That’s why im here to help.” She says, setting up the curling iron. “Okay so for makeup we need to just do mascara, maybe some concealer and just some blush” she says.

I sit down at my vanity, and she loosely curls my hair as I put the makeup on. “Do I look like I tried too hard?” I say. “No, you look perfect” she says.

-

I spray on my favorite perfume, but I put a little more then usual. I put on tiny silver hoops, and my Vivvienne Westwood necklace on, since I know Matt loves that jewelry brand.

I tie on my shoes, just wearing white air forces..not like I stalked his Instagram and seen him wearing them everyday or anything..?? Oh my god. This is bad. I think to myself.

Moving on, I put gum and my summer fridays vanilla lip balm that you can smell from a mile away, and it makes my lips look bigger too. I grabbed my phone and wallet out of my purse, since I know I wouldn’t need a full purse to go to the movie theaters. I opened my door to see and start making my way down the flights of stairs.

When I finally make it to the parking lot, I see Matt standing against his car, looking…better then ever. His hair sitting perfectly on his forehead, and his eyes look so blue with the grey sweater he has on.

I start walking towards him, “hi” he says shyly, “hey” I say. He leans in for a hug, i inhale his scent, I will say, I’ve hugged all the triplets and Matts hug is the best. He opens the passenger door to his car and signals me to get it in. The tension is awkward, but as soon as we look at eachother and start laughing the tension stops.

“Okay well now that that’s over, what do you wanna listen to?” He asks. I can tell by his change of tone that the awkwardness is finally gone, “anything’s fine with me” I say. He turns on Mac miller, “I love Mac” I say. “I know” he says. He’s seen all the posters in my room. I blush a little and start looking out the window.

-

MATTS POV

I watch as she sticks her hand out of the window, the nightly air blows in her face and her hair blows everywhere. She is so effortly gorgeous. The way her silky brown hair lays perfectly on her shoulders, the way her eye lashes flutter in the wind, oh my god her eyelashes. “Are your eyelashes naturally that long?” I ask. Shit that was a dumb question, I think too myself.

She giggles, “yeah, staring Matt?” “I think your eyes should be focused on the road” she says, making me blush in embarrassment. “Thank you though” she says. “Always” I say.

As we pull up to the theater, I open my door and grab my phone. As I walk over to open her door, she opens it. “Damn okay” I say. “Oh sorry, I’m not used to that anymore” she says. “Your good” I say as we start to walk to the building.

I pay for the tickets and candy, after she tried to pay and also said she didn’t want candy, and we are now sitting here watching the movie.

I look over and see her put her hand in her mouth and start to bite her nails, I quickly grab her hand and move it to her lap. “Don’t do that” I say.

I can tell her anxiety levels are off the roof, and I get it, but I don’t want her to have anxiety with me. The quiet theatre is just making everything worse. “Wanna dip?” I say. I don’t really know why, it just came out.

“Yeah thank god” she says. I can tell she’s instantly relived and so am I.

We walk out of the theater, this is not going at all as how i imagined. I imagined us watching the movie and me some how making a move, but this isn’t even a date so I now realize that’s probably not a good idea.

We head to the car, and it already feels less awkward. We still have our candy from the theater, so we start eating it. “We should go to a park” she says. “That’s my favorite thing to do at night” she says smiling. God her smile is so perfect and cute.

“Sounds like a plan” I say.

-

Y/NS POV

We arrive to the park, it’s just a tiny park on a hill, I remember coming here as a kid. Right when we are about to get out of the car, “Love Lost” by Mac Miller starts playing. “I fucking love this song” we both say at the same time. I giggle, and turn the volume button all the way up.

“What are you doing?” He says. “Get out of the car and leave the door open” I say. “What?” He says. “Just trust me” i say, getting out of the car but leaving my door open.

I run in front of the car, and start dancing and spinning and motion Matt to come over here with me, he comes towards me giggling

I grab his hands and start spinning us around “where’d you go, what you’d do, how the hell you make me fall in love with you” we sing, still spinning.

I let go of his hands and lay on the pavement in the park parking lot. I pull him down with me, and we lay there screaming our hearts at to the song.

I will say, this date..? No. Hanging out..?? I don’t know, whatever it is, it wasn’t fun at first. But now? Oh this is the most fun I’ve had in ages.

We get up and I grab his hand, we run to the park. “Come here!” I say running to the monkey bars. I jump trying to reach them, but I fail. “Matttt ugh I can’t get on” I say, hoping he would get the hint.

Before I know it, his hands wrap around my waist, his hands are so large that they completely cover my waist, his hands are soft & gentle, I can’t help but think what they would feel like on my thighs, on my breasts, and many other places.

He lifts me up, and I grab onto the bars and start going across them all, Matt grabs on to the ones behind me and starts going across as well.

I jump down, and start running to the seesaw, “oh my gosh I haven’t been on a seesaw since like kindergarten” I say.

I get on one side, and he goes to sit on the opposite side.

Before I can even breath, I’m launched in the air and go flying on the ground. “Oh my god” Matt says, quickly getting off the seesaw and he has the most worried look on his face.

He starts walking over me and gets on his knees beside me, “I’m so sorry” he says, I open my eyes and look into his. I burst into the hardest laugh I think ever, his worried look quickly fades and he lays down beside me.

I laugh into his arms, his tense senses finally go away, and we just lay there, enjoying eachothers presence.

He stands up, grabs my hand, and pulls me up to his level. We run to the car, “what are we doing now?” I ask, genuinely curious, but not paranoid. I trust Matt, I trust him more then anyone actually.

“Get in” he says. I get into the car, and he turns the music back on. “We are going to Waffle House” he says, with an excited tone. “How do you know I like waffles? I might be a pancake girl” I tease, “well you eat waffles every morning on the phone, so I would assume your a waffle girl?” He says.

I love how he remembers the small things, like the Mac Miller posters, and the waffles in the morning. He starts driving, to get to this Waffle House you have to go on the highway which is my favorite.

I love going fast in a car, something about it is so peaceful, yet so thrilling. He glances at me and smiles, “what?” I say. “I know what your about to do” he says.

I lean over the console and him, and press the windows button on his door. My elbow brushes against his inner thigh, almost touching his buldge, which is just now forming. When I get up from rolling the windows down, I see his flustered red face.

It sorta gives me confidence knowing that just me leaning over him turns him on, but right now I’m just trying to have fun. I turn the music up and start singing & swaying to the music.

-

We arrive at the Waffle House, and we sit at a booth with our waffles. He grabs my waffle, “hey! What are you doing!” I say. He doesn’t answer, instead he draws a smiley face with the syrup on my waffle, and hands it back to me.

“Aww, your such a softie Matt” I say, teasing him. “Yeah sure..” he says, dipping his finger in the whipped cream and then tapping my nose.

“Smile!” He says. I smile and tilt my head, he takes a picture and stays on his phone for a second. He turns it off and then turns it back on and shows me, I see the picture of me smiling with fucking whipped cream on my nose as his wallpaper. I don’t know if I should take it as a sweet gesture, or if I should murder him for using that picture.

I grab the blueberries off my waffles, and rub them on his cheeks and lips, leaving a red tint. I take the whipped cream and draw a penis on his forehead, “perfect” I say, “smile!” I say, as I take a picture and set it as my wallpaper. We then finally start eating.

-

We get back in the car, and I open my phone to see multiple messages from Ella asking where I was. when I go to answer the messages, my phone starts ringing, I answer it and stupidly put it on speaker. “The movie ended 2 hours ago, I should’ve known you couldn’t keep it in your pants” Ella says. I see Matt’s eyes widen, and he starts giggling.

Thank God he’s not weirded out, “Ella first of all, your on speaker, second of all, we legit got food and played at a park, get your unholy head out of your ass” I say. “Oo she sassy” Matt says. “My bad, hi Matt” Ella says. “Are you coming home soon?” She asks. I glance at Matt and he shrugs. I look at the clock and see that it’s 11:30 pm. “Yeah I’m on the way now” I say, hanging up. Matt just looks at me and then looks back at the road.

-

We arrive at my the apartment building, he gets out of the car, and makes his way to my door. He opens the door, and I get out. “I had a lot of fun today with you, we need to hangout again” he says, bringing me into a hug. This time it’s not awkward, we both just sit there for probably too long of a time, if this is the closest I get to cuddling him so be it, I just love being on his chest.

We finally pull away, and I start walking to the stairs, waving at him. “I’ll call you when I get home” he says. I nod and start making my way up the flights of stairs.

-

After I remove all of my makeup and change into pjs, I pick up my phone to see an incoming FaceTime call from Matt, I answer. “Hey” he says. I can’t help but notice how he is wearing no shirt, and his is laying comfortably in his bed with a silver chain dangling on his chest.

I prop my phone up on my nightstand, showing the side of me and my room. “Heyy girl I miss you” I hear in the background, seeing nick pop into frame. “Hey nick” I say. Nick grabs the phone from Matt’s hand and starts walking out of his room.

I see Matt throw on a hoodie in the background, and start chasing after nick, “give me back my phone bro” Matt says. “No bitch” nick says giving Matt a side eye. I immediately burst into laughter.

“anyways I wanted to know if you wanted to go to Miami with us next week? I know we haven’t known you that long, but we got too many plane tickets and we need more people, plus we’ve hung out enough with you to know you won’t be anything but fun to vacation with, so what do you say?” He says.

“Oh my god yes, I’ve wanted to go to Miami since I was like 3” I say. “Okay, I’ll give you the details Monday at dinner” he says. Me, Madi, Ella, Nick, Matt & Chris all planned to go to dinner Monday night, since that was the only time the group wasn’t busy. “Okay, bye nick.” I say. “Bye love ya” he says, passing the phone back to Matt.

“Okay where we’re we?” Matt says, returning back to his room and closing the door.

……The end

All work is subject to copyright ©matthewscherrypie 2024

A/N not as proud of this as I was the first chapter, but it’s okay, this one was more boring, but it’s gonna get more entertaining soon I swear !

TAGLIST: @jnkvivi

[intergalacticaquarium]

I Can Be Your Gremlin AKA Eddie Comes to Thanksgiving

Eddie Munson x Female Original Character (Samantha Campbell) (Dustin's step sister, technically the same character from Home Again, but not a part of that story.)

Summary: Sam's pretentious mother demands that she come to Thanksgiving, so she asks her friend Eddie to come as her fake boyfriend to cause a scene. The plan goes off the rails, though, when Samantha's mom invites her daughter's ex, and her fake boyfriend starts to feel real jealous.

Content: Fake Dating! Mutual Pining! Friends to Lovers! Learning to Communicate like a real person! Peak Gremlin Eddie! Little meow meow Eddie! A kinda thirsty makeout scene! some confusing feelings, Eddie acting like a douchebag and getting too into character, if u want Eddie the disaster boy with a lil angst then this one is for you. Also people have told me that it is funny so I don't have to say it.

ALSO- special thanks to @seafoamgreenpng who sent me the screenshot like 10 seconds after I said 'fake dating to make her parents mad' and then kept it up with literally some of the funniest and most fire prompts I have ever received.

(Also there are some misc family member characters so mom=Vanessa step-dad= Charles ex bf- Connor)

(other fics)

12.6k

===============

    Samantha Campbell and Eddie Munson sat in the back of her van smoking overlooking the Quarry on a fine autumn day. Normally she’d be all giggles or existentialism or maybe talking about the episode of Taxi she had just watched that he had already seen, but today she was quiet and anxious, not talking much and bouncing her leg more than normal.

"Is there something wrong? Because you’re kinda stressing me out." Eddie asked her and handed her the pipe for a hit. Sam grumbled something he couldn't hear and he asked her to clarify. 

She sighed. "My mom wants me to go to her family's Thanksgiving dinner."

"I don't think I've ever actually eaten a proper Thanksgiving dinner- but I'm assuming the food isn't your issue?" He asked, realizing that in all the time he had known her she had never mentioned her mom.

"My mom's side of the family is…maybe not what you'd expect? They're like rich. Like actually rich." She explained awkwardly. 

"Interesting, I wouldn't have pegged you as a rich girl." He said with a laugh. And she grimaced.

"That's kinda the problem though because like… she doesn't put in any effort with me. Especially not after the divorce but she still- God this is embarrassing please don't judge me- she still sends me money sometimes. A lot of the time." She confessed. 

"Interesting. I always wondered how you could afford an ounce a month. And you know what? Don't be ashamed of it- if my parents could pay me a fee to be shitty parents then I'd take it. It's better than just being a shitty parent and not sending money. I mean, my dad's in jail, but still."

"Yeah, well…yeah. So I have to go or else she'll cut me off and I have to behave. Jesus I just wish I could just have like…a little gremlin with me that would just scream what I'm thinking every time my family said some garbage. I wish there was a way I could look perfect to her and still ruin Thanksgiving. God, that would be the dream"

Eddie was silent for a moment and she could see the gears turning in his head. 

"I could be your gremlin." He said conspiratorially, and she looked at him "all you gotta do is feed me after midnight, by which I mean invite me to Thanksgiving and let me make the scene instead." 

"God, that would be so good. I could bring you as my boyfriend and everybody would just be horrified." She said gleefully.

Eddie snorted at the mental image "I could come in late with muddy shoes."

"I'm just imagining one of your cafeteria rants standing on a white tablecloth and I will forever cherish the mental image."

"I could ask how much everything costs and start ranting about consumerism."

"We could sneak off and muss up our hair and button our shirts wrong and then come back like it wasn't a big deal." She said with a genuine laugh imagining their faces.

"Would it be too much to start telling them about drug dealing? " He joked.

"Too much? Dude, I want you to be a convicted felon. Show off those tats, grab my ass and be super obvious about it, give them like an air guitar sample of one of your songs. God, I need to stop or I'm gonna be so tempted to actually force you to come."

"I'll do it." He said honestly, and she rolled her eyes. "I'm not joking I think it would be…hysterical- also I've never gotten to eat a Thanksgiving dinner before."

"You may be kicked out before dinner."

"Can you save me some if I do?"

"Sure."

"Alright, deal."

"Seriously? You'd do that for me?" She asked, and he wondered if she was actually surprised. It was odd to think she didn't realize he'd do just about anything for her.

"Are you kidding me? I'd do it just to piss off a reganite."

---

So that was how they ended up parked a block away on Thanksgiving day, trying to think of final touches before going inside.

"So- ground rules." He said.

"Uhhh, yeah- I-I can't really think of anything off limits besides stuff that would be obvious was over the top stupid."

"Yeah, you're gonna have to tell me exactly where that line is because I feel like it could be anywhere." He said nervously. 

"I mean don't like…start making out with me in front of my mom against a wall or something. Just like, I dunno, grab my ass during a conversation or check me out or make an inappropriate comment. Oh! And the most important thing- any time they talk shit about something you know applies to me, pounce on it."

"I'll be your steadfast defender."

"Great- oh and I should have a signal for you to like, chill out or Amp it up. Okay, uh if I tug on my ear then you should stop and if I touch my nose you give it all you got."

Eddie gave her a sharp nod and tapped the side of his nose.

"Sweet. Okay. Uh, drop me off then I guess and come back around in like 10 minutes."

"Do you actually want me to come inside smoking or just coming up to the door?"

"Inside. I said don't be unrealistic but like…don't hold back either. I need that 8th grade theater kid Eddie in there." She said, and he nodded resolutely. He smiled to himself, realizing she had just admitted to noticing him long before they became friends. 

He nodded and she got out of the car.

"Oh! You should grab me and kiss me when you come in too- that'll be a great entrance." 

Before he could respond she hopped out and began to walk into the house. 

Eddie drove away to wait around the corner for a couple minutes before making his grand entrance and only now did he consider that maybe…this idea wasn't going to go the way they wanted it to. When he had agreed he had mostly been thinking about the gremlin aspect and not the fake boyfriend one, and he hadn't considered that he'd have to kiss her.

Not that he didn't want to kiss her. He did. He really wanted to, but that was the problem. He didn't want to kiss her in a fake way because he knew that it never took much for his imagination to get away from him and he'd have himself convinced she liked him too within the hour.

After 10 minutes of alternating between psyching himself up and psyching himself out it was time to go inside. He shook out his shoulders and tried to channel 8th grade drama class and his hellfire improv skills and considered that those things were always easier when he was adopting a character. He didn't know what that meant for this particular moment but he was gonna try it.

Sam was tightly smiling at one of her uncles and nodding awkwardly when the front door was literally kicked in by what everybody instantly assumed was a vagrant. 

She almost laughed at how ridiculous the scene was, her mom's big clean beige mcmansion and all the beige people in it being invaded by Eddie The freak Munson. His hair was wilder than normal with sunglasses on and a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. 

She covered her mouth to stop the laughs from coming out at his exaggerated swagger towards her, puffing as much smoke as he could into the sitting room. He stopped short next to her and slung his arm around her ungracefully. 

She had to admit she was a little surprised when he took the cigarette out of his mouth, handed it to the nearest person, put his arms around her and kissed her within an inch of her life. When he let go she was a little stunned and tried to gather herself quickly, casting a quick eyebrows up glance at him where he gave her a subtle shrug. 

"Sorry, baby, I had to get some smokes." He said in such an exaggerated voice she almost laughed.

Her family had fallen silent and stared at them, and Sam cleared her throat. 

"Everybody, this is Eddie. My boyfriend. Eddie…this is everybody." She said, and he gave them a mock solute.

He looked at Sam for further silent direction and tilted his head in confusion.

"Are you wearing a different outfit?" He asked, breaking character, and he saw Sam muster up the fakest smile he had ever seen.

"Uh, yes. My mom thought that this one would look better, I guess." She said stiffly, and Eddie frowned. 

"Too bad, you looked hot as hell before. I mean, you still look hot as hell but I think you've got better taste." He said, getting back into it and speaking loudly.

A woman in front of them laughed as if he was joking and gave him a cool smile. 

He turned to her and the resemblance to Sam was so uncanny that they couldn't have been anybody but her mother. It was weird to see her, because it was Sam's face if she decided now to not laugh for the next 30 years and straighten her hair like pins and needles and dress all in white. 

"I always prepare something for Samantha since she has a habit of picking things that are a bit…" She tapped her chin in thought. "Pedestrian." She finished proudly, and Sam nodded along at her own expense. He felt a pang in his heart seeing how downtrodden she already was.

"Where are you living where pedestrians look like that because I'd be willing to move to the city of babes." He said, and gazed as ravenously at his fake girlfriend as he could muster while examining his dear friend's face for clues that he was helping. She smiled a little, but he knew she was still upset.

"So, you must be Sam's grandmother." He said confidently, sticking out a hand, and seeing his friends tiny smile become genuine.

Her mother, however, looked horrified. 

"Mother. I am her mother." She said sternly.

"Samantha has told us so much about you." She said, and limply held out her hand as if she wanted him to bow and kiss it. Instead he just gave her a low five without thinking and he heard Sam bark a laugh of surprise.

"All bad things I hope." He said with a devilish grin.

"She neglected to mention that you were so…indiscreet" She said as judgmentally as she could manage.

"Uh…thank you Mrs. Campbell." He said and her face hardened.

"Campbell is my ex husband's name and, unfortunately, Samantha's as well, despite how many times I've told her to get it changed." She said haughtily and he felt Sam shrink a little under his arm. When Sam had said her mom was shitty he assumed that meant largely absent like his own, but seeing Sam shrinking in on herself told him a different story. He knew her. He knew how much grinding it would have taken to wear her down, and it broke his fucking heart.

"Can't imagine any name sounding better than Sammy Campbell." He said affectionately, squeezing her shoulders in a way that he hoped she could tell was genuine.

Her mother grimaced. "Samantha Beuregard has a much better ring to it."

"No, it really doesn't." He said flatly, and saw Sam's small smile from the corner of his eye. 

Eddie liked Sam's dad, and old Ron Campbell had clearly put in a hell of a lot more love and time into Sam than any Beuregard in this room.

"Please, come have a seat." She said, sniffing pretentiously, leading them to an immaculate couch that Eddie was debating what he should spill on and when with an older man sitting there, swirling a glass of wine.

Eddie picked one up and drank some, swishing it around like mouthwash and swallowing before gulping down the rest and grabbing another glass. 

"Eddie, this is my stepdad, Charles." She said, and gestured to him before tapping her nose so he knew to go all out.

"You know, this tastes a hell of a lot like some hooch that my buddy made." He observed, and the man scowled at him.

"I highly doubt that. This wine is thirty years old and nine hundred dollars." He said, and Sam gestured to him.

"You sure you didn't get it from a guy called Skinny Pete?" 

"It's from France." He said, offended 

"Oh, yeah. This one wasn't French. You can save a lot of money next time by just emptying out a couple fruit cups into a plastic baggie and shoving it under your bed to let it sit for a couple months." He said, taking another sip, and Sam began to cough after inhaling some liquid when she was trying not to laugh.

"What do you do for a living, Eddie?" 

"I'm an entrepreneur. Self employed if you know what I mean." He said with a waggle of his eyebrows. 

"Unemployed, then?" He said dryly and there was a round of chortles.

Eddie laughed cockily. "Nah, man it's just a pretty complex operation. Lots of moving parts, lots of…discretion. And I run the whole thing…" He said. Peeking over his sunglasses. 

"How old are you?" Her mom asked.

"Uhhh-40." He said confidently, and Charles tilted his head at him slightly.  "I have a great skincare routine." He added, and he saw Sam's lip wobbling. 

"Samantha, tell us- how did you two meet?"

"Uhhh-" She said, her voice shaking and she cleared her voice to get rid of the laughter. "I was his….tutor!" She supplied, and now it was Eddie's turn to almost laugh because the only person he had ever met that cared less about school than he did was Sam Campbell.

Her mother frowned. "Sweetheart, why would you get a part time job at this age? If you need more money just ask me. Is your father not taking good enough care of you? I've seen that little hovel with his new fiance and her son. Honestly, Samantha, why you don't just come live here is beyond me-" She scolded. 

"It's not a hovel, it's a lovely little house and he didn't want to make Claudia move her family-" Sam started angrily, but her mother rolled her eyes.

"Oh right, of course. That strange boy without the teeth I remember him. He and his little group of troublemakers were always so disruptive around town since their friend got lost in the woods. Honestly, that Byers woman made such a fuss when she could've just kept better track of her children."

Sam and Eddie hated the laugh that went through the room.

His blood was boiling now and a glance at Sam told him she was about to start shouting and his gremlin duties were activated.

"That fuss saved her kid.?" Eddie said through clenched teeth.

"Was he even in danger?" She asked, annoyed, and sipping her wine.

"Just because you would've given up looking for Sam after a day and a half doesn't mean that Joyce was overreacting." He said firmly. 

"Eddie, maybe she has a point." Sam said, and he turned to her in shock to see her making a thoughtful face and gently tap her nose. "I mean, if Joyce had just worked harder she would've been richer and therefore automatically a better parent because of it." She said with dripping sarcasm that Eddie was horrified none of her family picked up on, just idly nodding in agreement. 

"I just think it takes more than money to actually be a good parent. A big stack of cash can't, y'know, take your picture with your date on prom night and make sure that you get home safe." He said, and he didn't like that the people around him didn't seem to think that was obvious.  To think, for years Eddie had heard people imply, and sometimes straight up say, that they weren't surprised his parents weren't around. But it turned out that the people calling him parentless trailer trash left their kids to fend for themselves as well and ditching somebody's kids wasn't a class issue. Shocking, he thought.

Her mother shrugged. "It can get you a better camera, then you can take the pictures yourself and show them to me later. We could make a day of it. And Samantha was raised well enough to not…wander off." She said matter of factly.

Sam and Eddie both couldn't stop thinking about how Sam had literally just gotten in a van one day a year and a half ago and barely contacted anybody for the next 12 months and how, according to Sam, when she went to see her mom after coming home, she hadn't even realized she had left. Eddie really really hated this lady now.

"Yup. My mom always knows exactly where I am and she's a really good parent because she calculated the exact amount of money I would need to get a new mother that would teach me how to tie my shoes." Sam said bitterly, and then frowned, remembering that she was supposed to be behaving while Eddie aired out her thoughts.

"Samantha, don't be so dramatic."

Eddie snorted loudly, and Vanessa turned to him in annoyance. "Sorry. Nobody's ever been called dramatic in the same room as me."

"No? You mustn't take my daughter out much, then." She joked, Sam glanced at him with a look that told him she didn't think they were going to get anywhere. But now he was actually mad, and Sam's dejection was only making it worse.

"I take her out every day. Believe it or not I like being around her." He said defensively, unconsciously holding Sam closer to him as if that would guard her from the insults.

Her mother simply raised her eyebrows and gave an annoyingly knowing look at her husband.

"Y'know, Vanessa, can I call you Vanessa? It doesn't matter. I just hope you'll forgive me for all this talk about parents a little personally because…well ...." He took a dramatic breath. "I had rich parents too. They spoiled me rotten, bought me anything I ever wanted, but they were never around. I can't even remember their faces. I never even met my dad because he never came home from the office until I was asleep. I don't know how they even figured out what I wanted since I had to teach myself how to talk by watching M*A*S*H reruns," He said in  a tearful voice.

"It's true." Sam corroborated. "That's why he's a democrat." She added and saw a little grin while he kept talking, along with a few pitying gasps and a quiet poor thing.

"That's when I turned to my life of crime. I just needed…somebody….anybody….to give me the attention I wasn't getting from my parents. Even if it was the cops." He said, playing such a miserable role that he reminded Sam of some kind of court jester. She wasn’t sure why she was into it, but she was all the same.

"Are you a drug dealer?" A squeaky voice said in the crowd. 

"Teddy, shush, don't be rude where he can hear you!" Another voice shouted out, but Eddie pointed at them smartly.

"Very perceptive of you, Teddy. I run a very extensive organization. Took a bit of a hit when I was put away but now I'm back on top." He bragged, and felt Sam's shoulders vibrate in silent laughter.

"Put away?" Her mother asked, seeming oddly enraptured.

"Two years. Two….long….years they kept me there. Guardsman O'Donnel watched my every move... Every day I stared at the clock ticking and counting the moments until I was out again and I could see my girl. When they handed me my release papers I grabbed them, flipped him off, and ran like hell out of there." He said wistfully, and Sam gave him a knowing look as somebody who had been to his graduation.

"Wow, have you two really been together for that long?" Charles asked incredulously. 

    "No, no, I meant my ex-wife. Well, soon to be ex wife. I keep sending the papers to her new address but her boyfriend's wife keeps throwing them away." He said as plainly as he could, hearing a few gasps and murmurs from the captivated audience and holding back his own laughter at the faces before him and casting a glance back at Samantha who was struggling to keep a straight face. 

"Can you excuse me for a second?" Sam said with a weak voice as she walked away quickly. Being the only one that knew she was joking made it clear that they thought she just walked away crying.

Eddie followed her without ceremony as she burst out the back door into the garage and then a small room off of that that she shut herself into and he heard her erupt into giggles once inside.

"You good?" Eddie asked from outside, grinning. She opened the door for him and pulled him inside with her. Eddie fit himself into the little storage cupboard beside her and they closed the door. The dangling light above their heads illuminated their faces as they were silent for a moment before erupting in laughter they tried their damnedest to keep quiet.

"Christ, dude, you've gotta warn me before dropping something like your ex's new boyfriend's wife-Holy shit." She said as her giggles calmed down, and he stood there inches from her, no longer laughing but watching her calm down.

"Should we head back?" He asked quietly, but she shook her head.

"They probably think I'm crying about your ex wife so let's give it at least 10 minutes for them to gossip." She said, and she squinted down at her watch.

"So is this like a ten minutes in heaven or is this a planning sesh?" He whispered. "Or I suppose we could do the traditional seven and plan for three?" He asked, and she rolled her eyes, but paused and perked up like she had an idea. That’s when she began to unbutton her shirt. 

"Uhhh, what are you doing?" He asked anxiously, and she gave him a coy look that turned into a goofy grin. 

"I'm gonna button up my shirt wrong and mess up my hair a little bit." She explained. And he grinned, watching a little shamelessly and he got a hint of bra as she did and undid the buttons in order. She ran a hand through her hair and looked at him and he swallowed hard at her face in the low light. 

"How do I look? Scandalous?" She asked, and he grinned knowingly as he reached out to mess up her collar a bit, and he saw her swallow when he got close.

"Very. I don't know what I can do, though- I'm already looking my least put together." He said with a chuckle and saw her eyes light up.

"Put your vest on inside out." She said with a grin.

"Isn't that a little obvious?" He asked, already conceding and shaking it off his shoulders.

"You can fix it when somebody points it out but we're trying to build immersion, and I believe that if we were actually feeling each other up right now and that vest came off, you wouldn't notice if you put it on inside out."

"That's a good point. Any other ideas?"

Sam's eyes got wide and her cheeks got a little red. 

"Okay- totally feel free to say no but you did really lay one on me like an hour ago, so like- how much closer can we get-  but you should give me a hickey. If you want to." She said with a mischievous grin and a little bounce on her heel. 

He swallowed hard and her face changed to an awkward surprise. He didn't know why his brain hadn't really registered the fact that he had actually kissed her earlier. Like really. With tongue and everything. 

"Not a big deal if you don't want to-"

"I'll do it. Give you a hickey, I mean. Heh, sorry my brain just needed a second to catch up, it's not a big deal." He said, and she narrowed her eyes thoughtfully. 

"You sure? I don't want to make you uncomfortable." She said, and he grinned, his confidence working its way back into him.

"I'm sure if you're okay with the scrutiny." He murmured 

"If you're sure you can deal with my mom's glares." Her voice was sweet and teasing as she was so close.

Eddie had never had…the best luck with girls. Not that he had really put that much of an effort in, but today he was here to be an overconfident bad influence. Maybe that could give him a little mobility in where that charisma got to go just this once. 

"That's what I'm here for." He said with a cocky grin that faltered a little as he glanced down at her neck. She caught his eyes moving down and arranged the collar of her blouse, pulling it back just enough that she would plausibly think it was hidden but not so much that nobody would notice. She pushed her short hair back and tilted her head. It was his turn now. He just had to lean forward and…suck…on Sam Campbell's neck. Right now. No build up or music to set the mood. Why had he agreed to this? 

"I feel like a vampire." He said awkwardly, and she laughed a little nervously as he bent forward and placed his mouth on her throat.

He had never actually given somebody a hickey before. There were a couple things he hadn't really done before he did them today with Sam in jest. His brain knew it was a joke but at that moment he could feel her pulse on his tongue and he didn't care that it was fake. He just hoped that he'd be able to guess how long was the right amount of time. 

Her heart beat faster and harder the longer he went on, and she curled her arms around his neck and pulled her whole body flush against his.

Eddie held back an involuntary moan when he felt her fingers go through his hair. He let go of his hold and moved down a little without thinking and latched on again, making another bruise that would linger after today and remind him that this actually happened 

His tongue darted out to taste her skin and he heard her audibly gasp out a moan. When she heard herself do that he felt her stiffen and the magic was broken and she pulled away, all business again. 

She swallowed hard and didn't say anything, trying to look like she wasn't blushing hard. Eddie expected to feel the same, like a blushy stuttery mess, but instead all he could do was stare at her neck and the glistening discs of his saliva where he had just been.  His hand was still on her hip and he decided not to move it. He wasn’t sure where it was coming from, but he was feeling cocky as hell. 

Sam's breath kept stuttering as she became extremely aware of Eddie's hand burning a hole into her hip and his thumb stroking ever so slightly.

He was staring at her lips. Every semblance of this being fake was gone from his face and replaced with what she could only describe as lust. That wasn't a look that she had ever seen from Eddie before or ever expected to. 

Sam liked Eddie. 

She had admitted that to herself but it wasn’t the kind of crush that wouldn’t go away on its own eventually. Sure, she tested the waters with a little flirting now and then and he hadn't seemed receptive, she straight up asked him out once but when the day came it was clear that he was just expecting to hang out like usual, so she dropped it, figuring he wasn't into her and that was that. 

That was fine, and she would say that she was almost over it at this point.

But now he was looking at her like this and her breath started to feel thick in her throat and every fluttery feeling she ever had when he smiled were back all at once. He looked like he was about to kiss her and now was just deciding how- and all she had to do was decide if she would let him. 

Every logical part of Eddie's brain was turning off in favor of some kind of weird caveman dude instincts he had never actually felt before. Everything he knew was true about how this was all just an elaborate joke was suddenly so unimportant it may as well have not happened at all. The only thing that happened was his mouth on her neck and her little moan when he tasted her pulse.

When she bit her lip his control broke, and he lunged forward, stopping dead in his tracks when she leaned back. Shit. His brain stopped working all of a sudden, and the reality of what just happened was suddenly very present in the tiny closet.

"What are you doing? We're alone, remember?" She said a little nervously. And Eddie swallowed awkwardly.

His mind raced trying to get himself out of this situation that he probably shouldn’t have agreed to in the first place- He just needed an explanation now or she'd think he was an idiot.

"Uh, sorry. I was just thinking that uh-" He stammered and her nerves slowed down at the more familiar persona.

"Lipstick." He said, like it explained everything. "You're wearing lipstick. If we were uh- I just thought- it would- it would be on me.” he swallowed hard.

"Oh, sure. Right." She said, accepting the weak excuse with a nod.

 He wasn't actually into her. That was fine.

What wasn't fine was the possibility that he had just sucked on her neck for a couple minutes and now he was horny and she was standing 4 inches away. Sam was plenty happy as his friend or maybe his girlfriend if things ever turned in that direction, but for her there wasn't room for anything physical without the rest. Except for what they had already done, she supposed. She shook herself a little as the images flashed in her mind.

Maybe today she could indulge herself a little.

"Hold still." She said, and leaned forward to press her mouth against his neck and Eddie bit his lip to hold back a groan. She bowed her head a little more to make sure that her bottom lip grazed his t-shirt to leave a stain. When she stood back upright she almost smiled at the nervous face he was making again.

She put her fingers against her lip and wiped off a little of what was left, then reached out to Eddie and dragged her fingers across his lips and across the corner just enough to be noticeable. He knew she'd be able to feel how heavy he was breathing.

"There we go. Very convincing." She said, and he nodded. 

"You're still not smudged, though." He said softly, raising his hand and grazing his thumb on her bottom lip to pull a bit of color downward.

Eddie felt like there was no more air left in the little closet when he stared at her in the dim light. Her shirt button was wrong, her hair messed up, her lipstick smeared and dark spots started to emerge on her neck where his mouth had been. She looked perfectly scandalous and he really wished that what everybody was bound to think when they came out was true. He supposed it sort of did.

"How do I look?" She asked in a raspy voice. 

He didn't have the words to answer in a way that didn't give away how fucking hot he thought she looked right now so he just nodded and she smiled. She checked her watch and missed up his hair a little more and flipped his collar so it was uneven.

"Time to head back out." She said a little more confidently, and he nodded- but as they both reached for the door they heard a sound in the garage.

"Sam? Are you in here?" Somebody's voice asked, and she felt a panic. 

"What's wrong?" Eddie whispered.

"If they open the door and we're just standing here that would be weird right?" She responded.

She glanced at the door and heard the footsteps coming closer, he shrugged helplessly. 

"Kiss me!" She whispered urgently, and she didn't have to ask him twice.

Just for show, so they could get caught. 

That's all that it was. 

But that didn't stop him from opening his mouth and swiping his tongue across hers, and it didn't stop her from responding in full, pulling herself closer to him.

Then they were really kissing. Neither one remembered the ruse or the impending intruder, because all that mattered was this closet and tongue and teeth and her hand in his hair and the fistful of her shirt he had grabbed a hold of like an anchor. Their bodies pressed against each other and without thinking he leaned forward more and pressed her against the closet wall, bumping a few shelves but neither of them cared. 

She pulled herself up higher and her entire body was bent against his and he kissed his way down her neck and back up to her lips.

 Eddie was pretty sure could feel everything in existence right now. He wanted her. He always knew he liked her, she was cute and he wanted to kiss her and hold her hand but this was different. As his tongue tasted hers he wanted them to consume each other. 

Eddie didn't do this. Ever. Not that he'd never had the chance, there were one or two opportunities that he knew if he had worked for it he could've ended up here. 

He was almost at a place where he thought he didn't want it. Thoughts and fantasies were different than actually being in the room with somebody else but all at once it was like another man entirely. One that was smoother and hotter and knew exactly what to do with a girl this beautiful to make sure that he never had to stop kissing her like this. 

The door swung open and they flew apart, staring guiltily at a shocked cousin, who shut the door quickly and shouted "somebody's here to see you. I'd clean up a bit, though" 

Sam looked a bit alarmed at the whole situation, but Eddie's heart hammered in his chest when he looked at her puffy lips and smeared lipstick. She had disheveled herself on purpose before but the way she looked now was undeniably scandalous. Almost enough to convince him the moment wasn’t already gone and that they could stay in here a little while longer. 

-----

As they walked back out they heard a round of laughter and greetings and just as she was about to come around the corner Sam froze and started backing up.

"What's wrong?"

"Samantha- There you are! Look who dropped in!" Her mother's voice rang out and Sam quickly patted her hair down as into place as she could and pulled her sweater around her to hide her mismatched buttons and quickly tried to wipe away the lipstick without looking in the mirror. When her mother came over and guided her towards the center of the room. Eddie's eyes followed her to see the single most handsome dude that had probably ever stepped foot in Hawkins. He was dressed formally enough to fit in with the crowd but still seemed undeniably relaxed and cool. Whoever he was, Eddie felt like their evening was about to get even more complicated. 

The man paused for a moment when he saw the disheveled Sam and he saw her shoulders tense and her cheeks begin to burn until he grinned and scooped her into a hug, spinning her around like a movie. She squealed in delight and Eddie knew that he might as well just go home now, because she was about to have other priorities than their little prank.

Eddie knew he wasn't actually Sam's boyfriend.  

Eddie knew that he knew he wasn't actually her boyfriend. 

He knew that.

But this asshole was at least 6'4 and was staring at her face like she hung the moon in the sky before he hugged her again. 

"Holy shit, Connor- how are you? How was Europe? Oh my god you need to tell me everything. C'mon, let's go sit down." Sam said excitedly, grabbing two glasses of wine and ushered Connor away while shielding him from her family.

Eddie was suddenly very aware of the pitying and amused glances he was getting from people- as well as the gooey ones that were cast in the direction of the happy couple. He wanted to say something. Be rude or crass or funny, but all of a sudden he was uncharacteristically at a loss for words, so he just followed Sam.

For a second he just watched them, and it stung a little to see them talking so naturally that he almost considered just walking out the door. Looking at her face right now told him that she might not even notice he was gone.

I'm not her real boyfriend, Eddie repeated to himself again as Sam leaned in close while laughing and Connor put a hand on her knee.

Finally, the guy glanced up and saw Eddie, tilting his head at the strange invasive species in this bougie landscape. When Sam noticed the distraction she followed his gaze and her expression when she saw Eddie made it abundantly clear that she had completely forgotten that he was even here. Should've run while I had the chance, he thought.

"Eddie! Come and join us, Connor was just telling me about his work trip." She said joyfully and took a sip of her wine. 

Eddie sat down next to her, feeling bitterly like an afterthought.

"Eddie, this is Connor, Connor this is Eddie." She said without detail which he supposed was fine for her. Eddie didn't need to be told that this guy was her ex and she obviously didn't want to find out that he was her "boyfriend".

"Nice to meet you, Eddie." He said and stuck out his hand. Eddie had never really understood what people meant when they said that handshakes were important but he got it now. He understood and he felt completely outmatched by just a short shake of his hand.

"Your vest is inside out." He said clearly, and Eddie could feel himself shrink a little in embarrassment, shrugging it off and flipping it around. 

"Love the battle vest, by the way. Dio is great and they're great dudes too." He said amicably and Sam grinned at him like she expected him to smile back.

"Uh, yeah, they're great- you don't strike me as much of a metalhead." He said with a fake grin and he hated the way that he and Sam glanced at each other, remembering a story with just a look.

"I really like all kinds of music. I mean, I have to, it's kinda my job. I'm a music journalist, that's why I was in Europe. I was going around and meeting bands and interviewing them for our magazine. Lots of metal bands around there- oh! I met Ozzy Osbourne, are you a Black Sabbath fan?" He asked, and Eddie clenched his fist as subtly as he could.

Since this guy came in Eddie had been trying to convince himself that he didn't know why he felt really hostile towards him seemingly without reason. Of course, Eddie knew that the reason was because he had a crush on Sam and this guy was apparently a lab grown dreamboat- but now he told himself it was because he met Ozzy and Eddie didn't. Eddie knew he deserved it more. 

"Yep. Big fan." He said with a grimace, caught between needing to know absolutely everything that Ozzy said and also not wanting to hear this guy talk anymore. 

He started to tell them the story about doing shots with Black Sabbath and Eddie was, unfortunately, hanging on his every word; or he was until he glanced at Sam and saw that she was too. Without thinking he reached out and put his arm around her making her jump in surprise and making Connor pause his story so briefly they almost didn't clock it.

Connor continued to recount the night at a more uneven pace and slowly took his hand off of Sam's knee and leaned back, swallowing hard. Connor glanced at her again and his eyes zeroed in on the hickey on her throat and the lipstick on his shirt collar. Eddie leaned back cockily and put a hand on Sam's knee. She glanced at him with a frown but Eddie just shrugged. She turned back to Connor with a tight smile and crossed her legs to shoo his hand off her thigh.

"I'm actually in a band, you know. I don't just write about them." He said out of nowhere, and Connor raised his eyebrows.

"Oh yeah? Are you any good?"

"They're great- they play at the Hideout on Tuesday nights you should come this week!" Sam said enthusiastically, and Eddie's heart swelled a little bit at her appreciation, but it was instantly diminished by the superior glance that Connor gave him.

"We play plenty more places than that-we did a concert in Indianapolis last month, remember? Sold out crowd." He mused, and Sam no longer looked amused by all the lying, reaching to rub her ear again. She glanced at Connor apologetically in a way that made Eddie feel like a kid acting out. 

"Eddie, you don't have to do this right now." She leaned in and whispered. He could tell that Connor heard.

"Do what? Make sure this mouth breather knows he can't just come in and steal my girl?" He asked with a laugh so douchey he surprised himself and felt kinda grossed out. He shouldn't have said that, he knew it as soon as it left his mouth and really knew it when he saw her face.

 Connor rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, wanting to get Eddie out of this conversation. He snapped his fingers as if he remembered something, and pointed at Sam. 

"I got you a present. I forgot it in my car, do you wanna come with me to go get it?" He asked hopefully, and Sam quickly stood up, as did Eddie. 

"Well just be a second, Eddie, you don't have to come." She said quickly and he was rooted to the spot as she walked out the door without him.

Sam walked next to  Connor, smiling at his scruffy hair in the sunlight like no time had passed. 

"I'm really glad you're back. I missed you." She said to him softly, and he smiled at her. Sam had told herself that she was over him. He left. That's what happened, she had to remind herself again. And again. But God that face made it easy to forget that he had hurt her.

"I missed you too. " He said fondly, and she looked at him and knew he wasn't done. "I missed you a lot, actually. More…than I ever expected." He said softly, then glanced at the house.

"Look, I told myself that if I came back and you had a boyfriend then I wouldn't tell you this but-" He looked at the house and sighed. "If you want me gone and out of your hair I'll go."

"No! Don't go! I mean- things with Eddie are…y'know, whatever! It's barely even…a thing." She said, trying to explain without giving away her lie, feeling a little guilty all of a sudden for ditching him inside when he was here as a favor. 

He looked at her for a long time before he sighed "I don't know what that means- But I remember what a big deal it was to bring me to Thanksgiving so I'm sure it must be serious." He grumbled. 

"I mean, yes, fuck- it's complicated." She tried.

"Complicated." He repeated, and she nodded. 

When he shook his head she almost told him the truth right there, but suddenly the whole thing felt very….childish. Embarrassing. She didn’t like feeling childish around him.

"You said you got me something?" She asked gently, changing the subject. His face was still a little sad but he lit up at the words and opened up his car, digging through a bag until he took out a small wrapped box with a note on top that said for Sam.

Eddie didn't deny that he was pouting, glancing out the window at the angle where he could still see them talking.

 He was mad. He didn't like anger. Too uncomfortable. Eddie didn't like being mad for a stupid reason, but no matter how stupid he felt he was still watching her talk to that guy and getting himself more worked up by the second. He had never met somebody so pleasant and so hateable, and whatever she just unwrapped must've been good because by the look on her face that little box had her greatest heart's desire. Her grin was so wide and soft and genuine as she glanced down at it a few times and back up at Connor like she couldn't believe anybody could've done what he just did for her. 

    Eddie kinda hated that guy.

His heart felt like it was being squeezed. He had been so good at holding this stupid crush back but he had never actually seen what she looked like in love. Now it was all he wanted. Now he was pretty sure he would die happy if she looked at him like that once, and he'd haunt the mortal plane for all eternity if he never got the chance. 

He watched her gentle smile as she looked both ways before leaning up and gently pecking him on the lips. I'm not actually her boyfriend, he repeated to himself, though it did nothing for the sting.

"Damn, that's gotta hurt, buddy." Somebody that Eddie hadn't noticed behind him said, also looking out the window. 

"I'm Sam's cousin, Greg. I'm sure Sam likes you for some reason, but I put ten bucks down that you wouldn't stand a chance once Aunt Vanessa called Connor."

"She called him? Like…after I got here?" He asked not entirely surprised but not entirely unoffended either.

"That doesn't actually surprise you, right? It's gotta be pretty clear that you don't fit in here. Besides, she and Connor were always going to be a better fit. He's perfect for her." He said, taking a sip of his wine.

Eddie was playing a part. All day he had been purposefully acting like the shittiest boyfriend possible. He knew that. 

But also who the fuck was this guy to say that Ken Doll was a better match for Sam?

"Yeah, that's probably true." He said, standing up with a groan and taking the glass of wine right out of her cousin's hand and downing it in one.

"But I'm still the one she invited, and this" He pulled on the collar of his shirt. "Is still her lipstick. " He said, and handed the empty glass back to the cousin.  Heading back to the main crowd , Eddie felt a scene in the making building up him, and honestly no idea what form it would take.

"Vanessa! I got a story I bet you're gonna love" He shouted, and saw everybody look at him in confusion. He sauntered over cockily, with an arm raised in greeting. He didn't even know what he was doing anymore; it was like the douchebag he had been pretending to be had taken over his impulses and the real Eddie was just on autopilot.

He forced his way into the group of people with his elbows and fished a joint out of his pocket and lit it. 

"So- I was just thinking that you know who you look just like?" He asked, a little drunk now, maybe exaggerating just how much.

"Who?" She asked sternly, and glanced around. Eddie unfortunately noticed the little smile when she saw that Sam and Connor were gone and it did nothing for his mood.

"The queen of England!" He said proudly, and she blanched.  

"I'm sure he means Dianna, love." Her husband whispered and Eddie laughed. 

"I did not mean Dianna. Hey- Are those real pearls?" He asked loudly and took one of the hors d'oeuvres and shoved the whole thing in his mouth.

"Uh, yes." She said, hoping that would be an end to it. 

"God what a waste of money. You know they make plastic white balls now, right? And everything in this house is so expensive and gaudy and did anybody ever mention that expensive isn't the same as tasteful?" He said, quoting Sam's description of the house from a few days ago.

"How dare you speak to me that way. You are a guest in my house and-"

Eddie stopped listening when he heard the door open and he looked towards it to see Sam and Connor walking in. They were making eyes at each other that they were obviously trying to hide but they fooled nobody. Eddie felt a little sick. 

Sam's eyes got a little wide when she saw how angrily everybody was looking at Eddie and didn't know why she didn't like it. She knew she had invited him here to be a menace but the look on his face seemed….real. She didn't like it, it wasn't a face that suited him. He broke into a somewhat drunken and a little bit sarcastic grin.

"And there she is. I was just wondering who my beautiful girlfriend got off with. I mean off to." He said with a laugh at his own joke, and slung his arm around her.

"Calm down, man. We were just catching up." Connor said cautiously. Eddie resented the correct notion that he needed to get himself together and blocked out the command.

"Alright, you can't expect me not to get pissed when some dickhead like you tries to seduce my damn girlfriend." He said. Is this what douchebags felt like all the time? Eddie kinda hated how good it felt.

"Hey, c'mon man." Connor said softly, and suddenly Eddie felt like a villain. Like he was one of the creeps that hit on Sam at the Hideout he had to scare away by putting his arm around her like he was now. No, not like he was now. When his arm hit her shoulders then he would feel them instantly relax. Now she was stiff as a board, all because of him. He took his arm off to see if that made this ugly feeling go away. 

 It didn't.

Maybe just continuing to dig would do the trick. He might feel better, even if that plan was doomed to fail.

"Yeah. C'mon, maaaan." He said, gesticulating his body and hands while he said it "I mean damn you'd think a guy as cool as you would know that coming to dinner with the intention of breaking up your exs relationship just because her mom called you is fucked up. You have to realize that, right?" Sam's head snapped to Connor and saw him looking furious. 

"Really? You're saying you don't understand why I thought coming over would be a good idea when Vanessa called me and told me that Sam's new boyfriend is a drug dealer? I was just coming to make sure she wasn't being beaten or some shit." He said.

Even though he had been nothing but a creep all night long it still hurt that Sam wasn't sticking up for him like she always did. 

"That's the only reason you're here, huh? Doesn't have anything to do with your little gift or how you kissed her outside?" He said, and the spectators gasped. 

Sam's eyes snapped to him furiously and full of hurt and back to Connor's apologetically. 

Eddie felt sick. He shouldn't have said that. He shouldn't have said any of that.

What the hell was wrong with him today that made it impossible for him to just stop talking?

She just shook her head and walked in the other direction, and Eddie quickly followed. 

"Uh-uh, I think you've done enough." Connor said, putting a firm hand on Eddie's shoulder to hold him back, but he violently shook it off. 

"Don't fuckin touch me, man." He growled and stomped after her. 

"Sam! Wait up." He said as he chased her down the hallway. She didn't stop. 

"Sam- Shit, cmon, just talk to me. I'm sorry, okay?"

"Give it a fucking rest, Eddie." She said, turning around, sighing. 

She heard footsteps and rolled her eyes, grabbing his wrist and dragging him into the nearest bedroom and locking the door. 

"What has gotten into you?" She asked angrily. 

"I'm doing what you told me to do, remember?" He said back in a dark voice. Now that they were alone he didn’t want to talk anymore. He wanted to put his face in his hands and scream into a pillow at how stupid and tangled up his feelings had gotten in the last couple of hours.

"Oh fuck off, you know that's not true. What you're doing now isn't…fun. Like, at all. What changed when Connor got here?" She was annoyed and hurt and he could hear it in every syllable.

"Because he- he obviously wants you back." He said, feeling like an idiot. There was no way to explain what was wrong without just saying it and everything he said would dig him deeper into this stupid hole but climbing out seemed a lot harder.

"Okay? Why do you care?" The fact that she was so confused made him feel even smaller. Like his stupid brain had been building up a stupid romantic narrative while she had still been playing the agreed upon game 

"Because why would you want to get with a guy that tried to get you to cheat on somebody? That sucks- everybody knows you shouldn't do that." He tried, just saying the first thing that came into his head now.

"Okay sure but if the person I'm dating is a total lunatic I think it's reasonable to be concerned." She explained in frustration.

"I'm only acting how you wanted me to!" he said desperately. 

"I know you are. You're here to act like a shitty boyfriend, why on earth would it bother you that Connor thinks so too?" He hated how confused she was, and hated how frustrated he was getting even more.

"I don't care that he thinks I'm a dick, I care that he kissed you." He blurted out.

"Why?" She shouted.

"Because I'm jealous, Sam! Obviously I'm fucking jealous- You kiss somebody else like an hour after your tongue was in my mouth and you really can't figure out why I might be kinda mad about that?" He scanned her face for any acknowledgement that he wasn't imagining things, but he knew that her poker face was nearly unbeatable.

"It wasn't real." She insisted. Eddie laughed humorlessly. That one stung. He didn't try to hide it.

"Jesus, I'd love to find out what a real kiss with Sammy Campbell's like if that was just for show. Connor must be walking on fucking air right now!" 

His feelings were raging in his ears and his cognitive dissonance was overpowering, because he knew what had happened. He knew what he had felt and he had been so sure that she felt it too, but now he was left with two options, and he didn't like either, because either Sam was lying to him, or he just…didn't know her the way he thought he did. The second possibility hurts more. The thought that he had misread a situation so badly with somebody he was closer to than just about anybody was worrying. 

"Oh fuck you. You can't suddenly get all pissed off and possessive because you got horny from making out with me for show. I let Connor kiss me because he actually likes me and wasn't just turned on and feeling confident because acting like a dick made you feel like a red blooded American man for the first time in your life. You don't get to use me like that just because you're getting a kick out of it. That's not fun for me, alright? That's not fair." She said, swallowing hard and looking hurt.

"Is that really what you think is happening right now?" Eddie felt overwhelmingly far away from her. Is that really what she thought? Was that really what she had felt when they kissed? 

"What the hell else am I supposed to think? You've never shown any interest in me before now, you never reciprocated any of my flirting every time I've tried to ask you out, you just assume we're just chilling- and now you're suddenly jealous of Connor? That just…that sucks, Eddie." She said, defeated, and Eddie stared at her in shock.

"Wait- when were you flirting with me? You're interested in me?" He said, feeling like he had just missed the last step on a staircase. Instead of explaining, she rolled her eyes. 

"Well…I was." He said, and his heart froze in place. "But whatever it is that's going on now?…no. I don't like this." 

He felt like the floor was falling out from under him at the realization that he had already had and summarily blew his shot with her without even realizing he was even up to roll.

"Sure. I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact that Ole 6'2 Connor  over there wants to take you to Europe." He said, too bitterly for her to hear all the hurt building up inside of him. He had never been the type to lash out at people when he was upset but right now all he wanted to do was get mad and have his anger make him feel better.

"Yeah, and I'm sure that the fact that you are suddenly into me has nothing to do with the fact that you get insecure around real grown ups because you start to feel like a loser."

Eddie shook his head in frustration. She was right, but hypocritical as hell and they both knew it.

"Since when do you give a shit that somebody's got a 401k and a real damn job? Pretty sure that you're the one cutting class with me to smoke in your van- if I'm a loser, so are you." He said. 

Both of them stared at each other with the overwhelming feeling that they had fucked up. They could see each other's hurt etched all over their faces.  

"Whatever, Eddie." She said, sounding exhausted and shaking her head as she walked away, leaving him alone in the fancy room feeling like an asshole.

----

She hurried out of the room and down the hallway, needing some air and feeling like she was gonna pass out. She just wanted to go home and erase this entire day from her mind and start fresh with Eddie in the morning and her stomach felt sick when she realized that wasn't going to happen.

"Whoa, there you are- are you okay? Connor asked, jogging up to her. 

"I'm fine." She said tersely and stepped outside. 

"You don't sound fine. What did that creep say to you?" 

She paused, still having the impulse to defend Eddie even though for the first time she felt like it was kinda warranted. 

"It's complicated." She grumbled.

"Look, Sam- I wasn't gonna say anything because I know that you're dating him but…If you don't think you can get away from him or if he's hurting you or-" 

"What? No, no, he's being a dick but…" She paused, glancing up at the window of the room she had left him and seeing his hair pressed against the window, hitting the back or his head against it repeatedly. At least he also felt like shit. That was some consolation.

"He's actually a really sweet guy." She said with a sigh and a frown. What a terrible day she thought bitterly. She just hoped that their friendship wasn't over, but she wasn't sure if she could get past him just… wanting to touch her. Nothing else. It's not like he had denied it when she said it. But at the same time she knew Eddie, and every second since she stormed away she was more and more sure that she had missed something. 

"He doesn't seem that sweet to me. In fact, he seems like a total and complete douchebag."

"Yeah…" She said in agreement, and glanced up at the window, seeing him there still. She wondered what he was thinking about. She wondered if it would make her feel better if he told her. 

"Can I tell you a secret?" She asked, glancing sidelong at Connor, really fucking tired of the ruse all of a sudden.

"Always."

She smiled with a little remorseful laugh.

"Eddie's not really my boyfriend. He's just my friend and I was pissed because my mom didn't notice that I took off for a year so we thought it would be funny if he came in here and acted insane and caused a scene." She whispered, and he tilted his head in confusion, drawing his eyes to her very obvious hickey. Sam put her hand over it and blushed.

"We…we were just putting on a show. Really." She insisted, but he wasn't convinced. She didn't sound convinced either.

"Does he know that? Because fake boyfriend or not he seemed real jealous."

She sighed. "That's probably just because you met Ozzy." 

"He's into you." 

"No…he's not. He just got carried away." She said, convincing herself it was true.

"Sam-"

"Seriously. He's just acting like a jerk because I asked him to and I've been pretending to act like I was annoyed all evening so he probably just didn't notice when I was actually mad. Eddie's a total sweetheart in real life." She insisted, and saw his shoulders relax. She didn't know why she wasn't telling him about the argument they just had. Maybe part of her was still hoping Eddie would make it up to her. 

"I'm really glad to hear that. I was worried about you for a second but I knew you'd never go out with some garage band stoner drug dealer super senior freak." He said, and she paused

"Well, I mean...those parts are true." She said cautiously. "But I don't think there's anything wrong with any of tht." She said defensively. 

"Seriously? What isn't wrong with those things? You can do better than that loser."

She crossed her arms and scowled, knowing exactly how many of those words described her too.

"If he's a loser for being a stoner freak that took an extra year to graduate then maybe you can do better than a loser like me." She said crossly. 

"Jesus, you know I wasn't talking about you." He said, annoyed that she wasn't getting it.

"What's the difference? If it makes him a loser then why not me?"

"Because you don't have to act like that." 

"But I like acting like that." She said firmly.

"If we got back together you wouldn't hang out with that guy anymore so you wouldn't act like that." She leaned back in surprise, seeing him more clearly now.

"Shut up, you know I didn't mean that." He was annoyed now, and she was pissed.

"So I just should change myself for you?"

"Don't tell me to shut up!"

"You're right, I'm sorry- I just don't understand how you can't see that the guy is a freak! He's a criminal for Christ's sake!"

Sam paused. "Wait- how did you know all that about Eddie? Oh my god- my mom did call you- is that why you're here?

"No! I came to see you, obviously. I already told you that."

"How long have you been in town?" She asked flatly. 

"Is that really important right now? Isn't what's important that I'm better for you than that loser inside?"

"How long. Have you. Been. In. Town?" She asked again, and he signed.

"About three weeks." He said in resignation. 

"Three weeks? You've been in Hawkins for three weeks and you didn't call me? God you're such a dick. You're only here because you got jealous, is that it? You didn't even think about calling me until you heard I was with somebody else and you came right over."

"That's not true."

"You sure? You sure that the second I said Eddie wasn't my real boyfriend you didn't want me as bad?"

"No, you're right about that part. Hearing you tell me that you're doing something this childish does make me want you less. I mean, Christ Sam, you're almost 20 now, you're too old for this." He said condescending.

"Maybe I'm not. Maybe I'm being childish and stupid and immature or  maybe when you were 21 you were a little too old to be dating a 17 year old in high school. Maybe I'm immature and childish because I graduated four fucking months ago."

"Yeah well I wouldn't have dated you if I had known you'd be a bitch about it forever."

"Jesus Christ. I cannot believe I was happy to see you."

Just then a head popped out the door "Dinner time! Come inside you two!" 

They looked at each other grimly and she walked in first, and he reluctantly followed.

Eddie was still there. She didn't really expect that, though she supposed she was glad because he was still her ride. He looked kinda miserable but when he caught her eye he gave her a tiny apologetic smile that she struggled to return. She just wanted to leave and have this all be over.

They passed around the dishes to quiet small talk as she sat in silence next to Eddie where their place cards were.

"Man, am I glad I didn't fill up on wine and horse doovers." Eddie said loudly, and she glanced at him from the corner of her eye, tilting her head.

"Oh fuck and these rolls." He said, grabbing a few with his hands. "Y'know, I've had kind of a hard time eating bread lately." He said just as loud, and she and a few others looked at him in confusion.

"That sounded weird- it wasn't really. See, what happened is I was doing a little acid, as you do, trying to find the bathroom at Rocellis Pizza in East Hawkins and I tripped like a moron and fell out the window into a dumpster. Then the lid slammed shut but something soft caught my fall and eventually I realized it was pizza dough. But the thing is, dough doesn't stop rising just because you throw it away. So here I am, the asshole trapped in a dumpster all night long with a giant blob of dough expanding under me until I was pressed against the lid and the trash guy found me the next day." He said matter of factly, and Sam looked at him with her lips pulled between her teeth and eyebrows raised.

"That sounds…harrowing." Cousin Greg said, and Eddie nodded and made a gesture that was clearly meant to look like dropping his roll on the ground had been an accident. He bent down and picked it up off the floor to took a huge bite out of it as her family looked on horrified.

His big brown eyes found Sam's and saw a cautious smile and knew he was on the right track. 

He grabbed a dish out of somebody's hand and scooped too much onto his plate and started eating it right away. 

"God this is good- what is this anyway?" He said with his mouth full and he grinned when he heard Sam breath out a laugh at her relatives' faces. 

"Green bean casserole." Somebody said dryly, and Eddie looked at him blankly. 

"Nuh-uh- beans are small and brown. These look like green French fries from a tree." He said the most ridiculous thing he could think of plainly, and heard Sam's first laugh. 

He reached into his pocket and dug around until he found what he seemed to be looking for, and pulled out a French fry, and held it up next to the green bean.

Sam had forgotten about the pocket fries. He told her they were for pigeons because he liked to feed them while he ate fast food in parking lots. She had never seen him eat one, but she suspected he sometimes did. She hadn't expected it to come out today, though and the sight broke through any hesitation she had left to react. She laughed aloud and quickly covered her mouth. 

"Look at them, they’re pretty much identical. Is it really a bean?" He leaned toward Sam and showed her, eyeing her face as it was becoming more joyful by the second. 

"See? Same size." He said in an almost childlike voice, holding the examples in front of his face and blinking at her a few times. He knew the eye contact would be what got her when she instantly exploded into giggles. Eddie grinned victoriously but refused to drop his act this time. This was what he was here for.

"I'm starting to understand why you were held back twice." Connor grunted from across the table.

Eddie popped the pocket fry in his mouth and waved his bean on fork wielding hand in a dismissive gesture flinging some wet crumbs at a random family member.

"It was totally political." He said with a shake of his head, now being the one trying to keep a straight face as he heard Sam keep giggling beside him. 

"Hey, can you pass me the wor-chestee-shire please?" He said as incorrectly as he could.

"That's gravy. It's in a gravy boat. Why would there be Worcester sauce in a gravy boat?" Her mother said judgmentally, scowling at her daughter whose laughter was now completely unstoppable, with a few other family members beginning to join in. 

"What the fuck is a gravy boat?" He asked in as bothered a tone as he could, and he grinned when Sam's step dad tried to hide a short laugh. 

"Oh, Sammy- did I ever tell you about that time that I-heh-" He began to laugh when he saw her and heard that all too contagious giggle of hers and willed himself to persevere. For her sake, he would be strong.

"Did I ever tell you about the time that I was standing on the cafeteria tables and I slipped on the mashed potatoes-" She clearly remembered it herself by the way she doubled over.

Eddie wasn't stopping himself from giggling now. 

"I got a concussion-" He managed to eek out and heard another howl of laughter beside him. 

He remembered that weird fire inside of him when they were standing in that closet. Like... he was being a douchebag and asserting himself and the confidence had felt good. The anger felt righteous.

But that burn had nothing on what he was feeling right now making her laugh. 

His veins were being filled up with helium and he thought he might float away without the hand she had just slipped onto his shoulder to steady herself in her hysteria. 

"And- and you got food all over you- and I ditched class with you-" She struggled to get through her part of the story, but he wanted to hear it from her. "And you just walked to the river and fucking lay down in it."

"Then what happened?" He said encouragingly, grinning at her unstoppable giggles.

She tried to speak but she was too far gone and exploded instead, laughter turning silent, so he looked over the family as calmly as he could.

"She was gonna say a fisherman cast his line and caught my hair. Thought I was a big ass trout. Took a week to get out the hook without cutting the hair."

He grinned at the giggling breakdowns of her family members, the disgruntled look of her mother and Connor, and the absolute joy radiating from Sam as she laughed.

He looked at her with eyes so full of affection her laughter quickly dissipated into a soft smile at him. It was the same look she had at whatever Connor had given her outside. Like she couldn't believe he would know just what to say to make her happy.

"Sammy. I'm so sorry. I was a total dick and I just got jealous of this creep because he seemed too perfect and I got insecure and that's no excuse but I’m sorry and I promise to never start reacting to things like that because I didn’t like it…but I do like you. Like actually. A lot. It wasn't just because we made out in the closet earlier. I've liked you for months now." He admitted, and his heart got warm when he saw her smile growing. 

There were murmurs across the table. 

"I thought they were already dating." Charles whispered to Sam's mom, who shrugged in confusion.

"I like you too, Eddie. A lot. And trust me, Connor isn't perfect. Far from it he's actually a complete douche bag." She said in a heartfelt tone.

"I'm right here." Connor complained, and was ignored, and she glanced at him nodding to say I know and listen to every mean we are going say to you. 

"I was really hoping he was a dick, but that didn't make me less of a jerk today. I'm sorry, Sam." He apologized, and his heart skipped a beat at her grin. 

"I forgive you, and I'm sorry for almost ditching you for Connor the Creep."

"Seriously?" Connor asked, offended.

"Let's get out of here." She said softly, and he grinned. They both stood up and Eddie bowed deeply to a few rebellious scattered claps. He scooped up a couple more servings of food onto his plate and they waved goodbye as they left.

As they walked out of the house out into the autumn air it felt like they had gone into another dimension where her family didn't didn't exist. 

They didn't say anything, just smiled at each other softly. But before he began to walk to the car, Eddie transferred his full, uncovered plate to his other hand so that he could take hers instead.

Their fingers intertwined and the warmth of their hands knotted up together felt closer than anything that happened in that closet.

It was unambiguously real and anchored them to each other as they walked slowly, stealing nervous glances at each other and smiling to themselves. When they got to the van he put his plate on top of the car and looked at her full on before they got in.

He opened his mouth a few times like he wanted to speak, but only laughed and shook his head when he couldn't think of anything to say.

After a few moments of him staring at her in what could only be described as wonder, Sam laughed and shook her head.

"Cmere." She said, and pulled on his vest lapels until he met her lips with his. Their eyes closed, his arms went around her and her foot popped up romantically. They grinned at each other as they pulled away, brushing their noses slightly. 

Sam wished she hadn't caught sight of the window out of the corner of her eye, because as she turned back to the house Eddie did too, and they both awkwardly waved at the hoard of Beauregards watching them from inside. A few waved back. 

He grinned and opened the car door for her before jogging around to the driver's seat and getting in. 

He turned on the car but couldn't resist going in to kiss her one more time before gunning it down the road accompanying the sound of a crack as they saw the plate of food fly off the roof where he had left it and shatter on the road.

More food for the pigeons. 

Thanks for reading!

Tags:

@sweet--em @ramona-thorns

[seokjinsonlyone]

For me, I think I would choose the "bad" date because I don't think that I would want to be crush at the end of the date with the first one. Even when everything went perfect, it ends so sad for me. At least with the bad date, we can laugh about it years later (in my delulu land that we will eventually get married lol). Like remember our disastrous first date. But I am more optimistic person anyway so I would even find the fun within the bad date. Like it is starts raining so it can be considered romantic with the rain, maybe I would take this opportunity to wipe the raindrops or use a towel to dry off his hair. I would also tell him to piggyback me when we have to walk the way to the beach in my heels, like I can't walk anymore, you have to carry me. (Though if the bts member is Yoongi or something, I would see him complaining of the rain lol). I think it would worth it even if I got sick. He would have to stick around because he got me sick, so he needs to make up for it. As long as he is apologetic, I would milk it. Making him do errands with me like grocery shopping, laundry, etc. anything to "make it up" to me lol but I forgive him long ago as it is not his fault everything was a disaster.

oh,,,,, u r a much better person than i am LOOOOL like i would've stopped looking on the bright side as soon as his car broke down lsksksks but i mean by all means stick beside your man!!

HOWEVER WHAT WE'RE NOT CONSIDERING FOR THE GOOD DATE IS that's not your bias or your wrecker!!!!!!! now as much as i'm jin biased i'm pretty ot7 so that factor don't really mean much to me but like i said i'm not that great of a person i be plotting i be scheming so walk with me

let's say i have the best night of my life with let's say tae and a couple days later i text him tryna see what's up and he hit me with "i had a great time but i think we'd be better as friends" am i butt hurt? yes but i get over it why? bc now i have an official invitation to be a homie hopper! like it's no hard feelings bc he don't want me so if we hanging out and jin just so happens to be there and we end up talking about his family's produce empire next thing you know we cuddled up picking strawberries together that right there is divine intervention (and i've had two fantastic dates)

[saintmeghanmarkle]

From No Shows to NFI. Six years ago this Easter they blew off their attendance to Easter Sunday Service &amp; other signs they were an absolute disaster as working royals. by u/flibberty_13

From No Shows to NFI. Six years ago this Easter they blew off their attendance to Easter Sunday Service & other signs they were an absolute disaster as working royals. Before she even married into the family there signs were there that this would never work. She honestly believed she could do whatever she liked, from crashing events they weren’t invited to (Prince Charles’ Investiture Exhibition where they’re told to “stand back” and escorted out of the room and maybe Prince Charles’ birthday garden party) to NOT showing up to scheduled engagements like Easter Sunday Service (and repeatedly leaking and releasing her own press outside Palace comms). Of course she blabbed to the usual Anerican outlets (VF and Harpers) that they had a “very good reason” for shirking their duties ( their article states the “much-needed down time from wedding planning” but then incredibly goes on to let everyone know WHAT F&)ing FLOWERS SHE’D CHOSEN & had the floral designer give testimony about how “lovely” she was. Other articles claim she flew home to LA for a “final Easter as a bachelorette” like WHAT and of course plenty of other bullshit. Which makes the stories about them returning even funnier since the evidence they were a DISASTER as working royals. post link: https://ift.tt/kZzyhRJ author: flibberty_13 submitted: March 28, 2024 at 05:05PM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit disclaimer: all views + opinions expressed by the author of this post, as well as any comments and reblogs, are solely the author's own; they do not necessarily reflect the views of the administrator of this Tumblr blog. For entertainment only.

[milarqui]

Scarlet Lady: Simon Says

Directory - Timebreaker

In the KIDZ+ studios, one of its star programs was about to go live, and if it came out like all other previous editions, it would prove to be a smashing time for anyone watching.

“Welcome, everyone, to the number one game show, The Challenge!!! Make some noise for our next challenger, Niiiiiiino!!!” Alec Cataldi announced, to the thunderous applause of the people in the studio.

“It was so cool of you guys to suggest Nino for the show!” Marinette told Mireille and Aurore. The weather girls had told them about Cataldi seeking new challengers for his show, and Nino, always the showman, had asked if they could get him a spot.

The girls had quickly replied that he could feature in the next Saturday's show, and Nino had invited his friends to watch. Unfortunately, Alya hadn't been able to join, as she had to take care of her twin sisters, but Adrien had somehow managed to get his father to let him go, so he was there, accompanied by his bodyguard, the Gorilla (and no, Adrien didn't know his name, because the man never gave it).

“No problem!” Mireille answered. “For some reason, Alec does whatever Aurore asks!”

“Heh,” Aurore laughed. Marinette didn't know why, but that laugh sounded kinda evil.

----

“Look, Alya, it's Nino!” Etta cheered, pointing at the screen.

“U-huh,” she replied. Under her breath, she continued. “Could've been me there with them. But nooo, I gotta babysit.”

“Who's Nino?” Ella asked.

“You know, the guy all over her phone!”

“U-huh,” she said, not paying much attention anymore.

“Oh! So he's her boyfriend!”

“U-hu–” What Ella said had finally registered in her mind. “Wait, what?!”

----

“So, our viewers' challenge for you is...” The screen changed to show a certain man, smiling at the camera, wearing his band and suit. “... to make the mayor of Paris, André Bourgeois, dance!”

“Hey! It's your father!” Tikki pointed out to a bored Chloé.

“Big deal.” She pouted, as Nino began to play music in his DJ table. “When are they going to show Adrien?!”

You know it's Nino who's being featured, right?

----

With fast talk, eagerness, and some serious music-mixing skills, Nino indeed managed to make M. Bourgeois – along with the entire audience – dance to the beat he offered to everyone, thus ensuring his victory well before his time ended. Another thunderous applause accompanied him as he left the stage.

“Congrats on your victory, we'll see you next week! Now our next challenger,” and the screen showed a man in his twenties, wearing a dapper suit with a cool bowtie, and holding several cards in his left hand, “Simon Grimault, the hypnotist!”

While Mireille and Aurore discussed something about the program, Nino joined his friends (and his friend's bodyguard).

“Good job, my man!” Adrien congratulated his friend.

“Thanks dude! And dudette!” he added, turning to Marinette.

“I hope it goes well for M. Grimault too!” she said, as the man himself entered the stage.

“Your challenge is to persuade an elusive celebrity to come to our TV set –”

And the screen that had earlier showed a smiling man now showed a man who looked sourer than a lemon tree.

Someone the two boys knew all too well.

“Gabriel Agreste!”

Oh no, he's screwed! Adrien and Nino thought, already seeing the disaster that was about to happen.

“Oh, it's your dad!”

Marinette, who had never met the man in person, did not see it.

----

This was a complete waste of time. Being forced to be on television – outside of anything related to his work as one of the world's greatest designers – was bad enough. Being put through such an inane, infantile, ridiculous thing was another.

But the PR department had insisted that something like this could be used to begin making a good image amongst the youth of Paris, all of them potential clients, and, against his convictions, he had allowed himself to be convinced to participate.

After all, he might be able to actually achieve something.

It was only a few seconds of seeing an adult man humiliate himself with a few cheap card tricks that he chose to cut things off.

“Your show is pathetic, just like your contestant. Control me? Never.”

And he turned off the connection.

Carefully, he stood up from his seat –

“Nooroo –! Get the trap door ready!”

– and rushed to craft his newest Akuma.

----

When Nathalie accepted the job offer to work for M. Agreste so many years before, she was certain that the contract had no mention of having to deal with her boss using a magical talisman to transform some person into a monster or empowered person so they would steal other magical talismans for him.

She still did her job and didn't tell the police or the heroes about M. Agreste's villainous moonlighting, because she understood what loyalty was. But, still, while M. Agreste's goal was worthy... it was still a bore.

“I am Hawkmoth and you are now Simon Says. I'll help you become the greatest hypnotist in the world. But in return, you'll have to help me when the time comes. Does this suit you, Simon Says?”

“Simon Says... yes.”

As her boss once more succeeded in convincing yet another angry/distraught Parisian to do something dumb, she kept her eyes on the screen.

I do not get paid enough for this.

----

The door opened with a slam, giving way to a man wearing a top hat and a suit that made him resemble the joker from the cards he now wielded.

“Simon Says the show's not over yet!” the Akuma yelled.

“Wha–?” Alec asked, but Simon Says quickly turned and threw a card at him.

“Simon Says, you're lame as a duck!”

“Hey!” Alec complained, while everyone else scattered to avoid the Akumatized man.

“That must be that hypnotist!” Marinette said, while Adrien took advantage of the distraction to cautiously sneak out of the studio.

“Maybe the studio should rethink competition shows for now...” Aurore muttered as she dragged Mireille away.

Mireille non-verbally agreed, while Simon Says tossed another card at Adrien's bodyguard.

“Simon Says, you're a gorilla!”

With the bodyguard forced on hands and knees, Simon Says used him as a platform to speak through the camera.

“For refusing my challenge, Gabriel Agreste will make a show of himself for you on this set!”

“Pére...” Chat Noir muttered. He also looked at his bodyguard, now humiliated by the Akuma's magic. If he could stop him now, then maybe this would be solved quickly, before the Akuma caused more problems.

So he jumped.

“Chat Noir says, shut up and gimme the cards!” he shouted, causing Simon Says to jump off from his human platform.

----

“Chloé, look!”

“My gorilla will take care of you!”

“An Akuma! He's hideous!” Chloé said, making a disgusted face. “I have to protect my Adrikins!”

“But does he want your protection?” Tikki asked. Not that she expected Chloé to listen to her before transforming.

----

While Chat Noir was distracted dealing with the man, the Akuma quickly tossed more cards from his pack, hitting nearly everyone else in the room, and putting them under his control.

“Simon Says you're all soldiers!” he declared. “Simon Says, search the city high and low, my soldiers, and find Gabriel Agreste!”

The hypnotized victims began to walk out of the studio, ready to do as Simon Says willed.

----

Chat Noir was glad that the suit granted him super-strength and agility, because fighting his hypnotized bodyguard wasn't easy at all: the man's size and reach made it hard to get close enough to him without getting embraced by him, and he knew that that was a daunting experience.

Seeing him do that to one loony fan that had approached him a tad too fast was one too many, thank-you-very-much.

The fight ended up taking them near where the lifts waited, and Chat Noir noticed one of them was open in the current floor. That gave him an idea.

When the Gorilla tried to grab him again, he ducked under his arm and grabbed him.

“HYAH!” he yelled, and with a powerful hip throw, he sent the man into the lift. With him trying to get back on his feet, it was enough time to get him out of the fight. “Cataclysm!”

And he destroyed the control panel.

The lift cabin quickly began to fall, and Chat Noir's last sight of the man was his surprised face before he vanished. A second later, the cabin crashed against the bottom.

“... I'm sure he's fine...” he said, attempting to convince himself about it, and internally swearing to do something nice for the man some time soon. At least, once Scar finally got herself off her butt and decided to help, the Miraculous Cure would help heal the Gorilla's injuries.

… and now he was running out of time. He would have to change strategy now.

----

“HYAH!”

The door violently opened again, this time impulsed by a black heeled foot.

“Scarlet Lady?!” Marinette said, surprised.

“That was quick!” Nino said, just as surprised. The two of them had managed to remain hidden as Simon Says sent all of his hypnotized minions away, and they had hoped Chat Noir would return soon.

“Where is my Prince?!”

“Huh?” Nino asked, wondering who the hell she was speaking of.

“Ugh, Adrien!”

“How'd you know he was here?” Marinette asked, incensed. The fact that she was appropiating Chat Noir's nickname for her had no bearing in her anger, no sir!

“My love radar always knows!”

Aaaaaaand any traces of respect she might have had for her vanished.

“So, you're stalking him. Stop using your powers for evil.”

From behind Scarlet Lady came two beeps, and Scarlet Lady moved aside to reveal Marinette's favorite hero.

“CHAT NOIR!” Scarlet Lady exclaimed.

“Huh. You got here surprisingly fast,” he pointed out.

“While you were goofing off, my Prince has gone missing! Find him!” Scarlet Lady demanded – even though she had done nothing to help.

“Ah, he's probably hypnotized, no need,” Chat Noir waved her off.

“But he's my bro!” Nino exclaimed, shocked at Chat Noir's nonchalance.

“Please, can we look just one more time?” she begged: she feared for her friend and wanted to make sure he was alright.

“You're so right,” Chat Noir replied. “I'll meet up with you at the Agreste place.”

And he sniffed. And he was actually crying.

“You okay?” she asked, before Chat Noir nodded and split off.

----

Returning to his civilian form, Adrien quickly gave Plagg some cheese so he could recharge and ran to find his friends, not far from where he had left them.

“Nino! Marinette!” he exclaimed.

“Adrien!” both of them replied.

Scar didn't even bother to hold back.

“I came, my Prince!” she shouted, looking like she wanted to kiss him.

That was the kind of thing that would replace the whale in his nightmares.

So he dodged the horrifying polka-spotted projectile and let her crash against the hard glass floor while he hugged Nino.

“Thank goodness!”

“Oof! You good mec?” Nino asked; of course, he couldn't have known that Adrien knew they had begged his hero self to look for him.

“I was worried you'd been hypnotized!” he said as cover, while he let Nino go and hugged Marinette, who was just as welcoming of the hug as he was.

“I'm okay!” Scar said, somewhere behind him.

He didn't care.

----

They all took off for the Agreste mansion, with her bravely escorting her Adrikins while those other two just distracted him from what he really wanted, namely being with her.

Adrien opened the doors, and they were met with Gabriel Agreste himself from the top of the stairs.

“Good evening, Scarlet Lady,” he greeted her, and she smiled. She would only have to say a few words and she'd have his blessing to date Adrien!

“Père!” Adrien exclaimed, while M. Agreste and Lahiffe just glared at each other, probably something unimportant since she wasn't involved in it. “You need to get out of here! Simon Says is coming for you!”

“That's enough excitement,” M. Agreste declared. “Nathalie, make sure they stay in Adrien's room.”

“As you say, M. Agreste!” Scarlet Lady replied. She was going to be able to spend time with her Adrikins in his room!

“Mlle. Scarlet, are you not here to protect me?” M. Agreste asked.

Oh, right, the stupid Akuma.

“Dammit,” she muttered. But, well, silver lining, she just needed to spend some time with the man and she would ensure she got what she wanted!

----

Neither she nor Nino had ever been to Adrien's room – their only visit being back during the Bubbler's debacle – and she was surprised by how large it was. It was probably large enough that her home's main hall would easily fit in twice over.

“Whoa...” she let out.

“Make yourselves at home!” Adrien welcomed them, before going to the bathroom. “I'm gonna take a shower.”

Nino looked at him, weirded out.

“Now?”

“What can I say? It's the model in me!” Adrien shrugged his shoulders and carefully closed the door behind him.

The two of them sat down on a couch that was facing a frankly huge television screen, feeling somewhat awkward as they did so.

“Sooo...” Nino began, trying to break the ice, and he snapped his fingers. “Gabriel sucks, right?”

That was something she could agree with!

“Oh, heck yeah! But does Scarlet Lady suck more?”

She ignored the faint Claws Out! Coming from the bathroom, it was probably her imagination.

----

He had seen her through the screen and (more or less) through his Akuma, but this was the first time he actually met his greatest enemy in person.

Oh, those earrings! They were just there! But he had to maintain his cover, and hope Simon Says would do what so many others had been unable to.

Not that he wouldn't take advantage of the situation if it were presented to him on a silver platter, of course.

“That's an... interesting belt, Scarlet Lady,” he said. Learning of what weapons she kept on herself would be useful for –

“Isn't it?! Perfect for holding my accessories. I'm so clever, you know.”

Wait. What?

“Accessories? Not weapons?”

She had to be messing with him.

“Of course! I know the importance of maintaining your image!” She wasn't messing with him – and that made it worse. “I'm the perfect match for your son, doncha think?”

“My son?”

He was of two minds.

On one side, if she was attracted to Adrien, perhaps it could be a tool to dispossess her of those earrings. His son was a good child, and in spite of the recent spate of rebellion coming from him, he would likely have no problem in doing this.

On the other side... seeing this side of his enemy made something crawl up his back. The kind of feeling crafted by the kind of people that had prompted him to keep Adrien safe at all costs.

He shivered. He had seen what some people thought was fine to send his son by mail. He was thankful for the mail screening service, and for the police's willingness to act on the contents of those messages.

“Are you seriously doing this right now!”

Ah, and here was the other half of this vexing duo, slamming his windows close. Given this sudden reveal... perhaps the better half of this vexing duo would be best said?

Quite unfortunately, this was not about a social visit, as Chat Noir pointed him to look at the security system – showing that the main gates had fallen, and Simon Says' hypnotized minions were coming through.

“There's too many of them! Your defense system won't hold!”

There was merit in that observation. However, there wasn't much he could do – except let this play out until the end. Hopefully, the Akuma would actually do something with this ploy.

“I'll go get Adrien! And maybe the others,” Scarlet Lady declared, pointing at him. “You should hide better.”

The absolute disappointment of a girl ran outside the room, not even closing the door in her haste, and he stood in front of his monitor, watching this army invade the grounds of his home, and stealthily deactivated some of the more... lethal contents of his defensive system. No need to let the heroes know about the concealed anti-air missile system, after all.

“She is... not what I was expecting,” he told Chat Noir. “Quite the bossy little thing.”

“Yeah, it's pretty annoying when people act like they're better than everyone else, isn't it?”

He rose his eyes and saw Chat Noir clicking on a remote, starting to bring down the reinforced steel sheet that would cover the window from attacks. He didn't know the boy, but could it be right that he detected a touch of poison in his words?

“It's okay, I knew you wouldn't get it.”

And Chat Noir jumped off, letting the window close down.

He was alone now, but he had little time to spend before he had to remain as Gabriel Agreste for quite some time.

----

“Wha... what do you plan... on doing with your army... Simon Says?”

“Hawkmoth, do you need to take 5?”

The man at the other side of the connection did sound like he was about to bust a gut from breathing in.

“Just... just get me the damn jewels,” he huffed before cutting off the connection.

----

“Where's Adrien?!”

“HAH?!”

They had been all calm-like (well, as calm-like as one could be when an army of hypnotized minions was assaulting the place you were in) when Scarlet Lady kicked in the doors (again) and demanded to know where Adrien was (again). Naturally, they had been shocked. In fact, Nino had only managed to save his cellphone because he blunted its fall with a foot and the plush carpet did the rest.

“In the shower... what's going on?” Nino said.

“The shower?”

Marinette thought that Scarlet Lady's expression was really like a stalker's would be. Because, geeze.

“We need to get to shelter, but don't worry. I'll go get Adrien–”

A hand gripped Scarlet Lady's shoulder like an eagle would grip its next lunch, and Scarlet Lady turned to see Nathalie Sancoeur giving her not so much a glare as a promise of sudden and painful death if she made another step forward.

“M. Lahiffe shall retrieve Adrien,” the secretary imperiously stated, and Scarlet Lady meekly buckled while Nino did as bid.

----

“Dude, you hear? We gotta get a move on!” Nino said after knocking on the door.

“K, just a second!” he said, trying to plan something to deal with the current crisis while keeping his secret identity hidden from the world. Plus, Scar was out there, and that was another can of worms he had to deal with.

But the choice was made for him, because the door was forcefully opened – again.

“Oh, no, they're here!” he heard Marinette say.

“Stay away!” Nathalie shouted, and he heard what sounded like a fight that was way too short, and then of people struggling to get loose without success.

“Get off me!” Nino screamed, but the scream sounded weaker than it should have been.

“Guys?” he asked. He hoped they had just been taken away by Simon Says' minions, but the fact that he hadn't seen it made it slightly more terrifying, like a horror movie where the worst part was what was just outside your eyesight. “Oh no, we're gonna have to transform!”

“Again?” Plagg complained with an unfriendly face. But, hey, it wasn't as if he had planned having to transform three times in less than a day!

Still, Plagg relented (under promise of a good wheel of cheese that night) and once more Chat Noir flew out of the bathroom window and entered his own room from the actual window, finding the room deserted but with little more than a few chairs thrown around.

“Seriously?!” Oh, and Scar was there, of course. “Everyone's gone?! Even Adrien?!”

“Whose fault it that, hero?” he called her out. Knowing her, she had probably ducked into a wardrobe the moment the minions came in, and hadn't come out until she was certain she wouldn't have to do a thing.

----

Being kidnapped by this lot – or, better said, letting herself be kidnapped by this lot – was an arduous task. Still, Nathalie bore with it, if only because she trusted M. Agreste, and she trusted him to see his plans through.

Even if his current plan seemed to have led him to fall in the hands of his latest Akuma.

“Dear spectators, I've kept my word!” Simon Says stated, presenting M. Agreste, who was being held in place by the Gorilla's oversized hands, and glaring at the Akuma for treating him like a prize. “Here is Gabriel!”

The Akuma presented a card and placed in on M. Agreste's chest.

“Simon Says you are... a butterfly!”

Must not laugh.

She was a professional. She would not laugh.

“Flap, flap,” M. Agreste said, waving his arms like they were wings, his face completely deadpan even as he looked so incredibly ridiculous.

She was biting her lip to avoid doing something unprofessional.

Must not laugh.

“Flap, flap,” M. Agreste continued flapping as he 'flew' around the stage.

Must not... ah, screw it, I think I can allow myself to loosen up.

So, she turned to a side and did her best to snort very quietly. It wouldn't do for people to see her mocking her boss' disgrace. She could do more of that when she was in the solitude of her rooms, after all.

“Don't cry, Mme. Sancouer!” Mlle. Dupain-Cheng, the poor, sweet child, had completely misinterpreted her action, and was trying to calm her down. “Chat Noir will save M. Agreste!”

As if summoned by those words, Chat Noir and Scarlet Lady – whom she should have some serious words about with M. Agreste once this situation finished, assuming this ended in victory for the heroes – entered the studio on a run.

“Don't mess this up, we're on TV!” the girl stated. Such a shallow conviction!

“Speak for yourself! And go for the cards!” The boy did seem to be more professional in his dealings.

“Lucky Charm!” The magical ladybugs flew out of her yo-yo, and dropped in her hand an object very much similar to the one she had just used. “A normal yo-yo? Utterly useless!”

“Simon Says–”

“NYAH!” Chat Noir yelled, interrupting the Akuma.

This was the moment.

She gave the hypnotized man holding her a hard elbow strike to the face.

“Now, children, while he's distracted!”

“Huh?” Mlle. Dupain-Cheng said, clearly surprised.

“Go for the throat or the instep!” she instructed, using a perfect elbow throw to rid herself of the man holding her.

“O–Okay!” Mlle. Dupain-Cheng answered, quickly stomping on her captor's foot. Good – must have had some kind of martial arts training.

“What kind of assistant are you?” M. Lahiffe asked as he loosened up his restrictions.

“I assure you, M. Lahiffe, that it is a useful skill to employ in my daily life.”

She had lost count of how many times she'd had to act to stop this or that person after M. Agreste used his sharpened tongue on them.

And, speaking of, he was still flapping about, without a care for the fight going on around him.

“Simon Says, take flight little plane!” the Akuma declared as he tried to fence off Chat Noir.

M. Agreste stopped flapping, and instead began to make sounds like a motor, while his arms were lifted to the sides, like fixed wings.

There was a limit to the nonsense she would allow. She grabbed the man by the back of his jacket.

“NO.”

----

He was getting overwhelmed by the heroes, but he still had enough aces under the sleeve! One or two moves, and they would fall like so many, like the oh-so-proud Gabriel Agreste, had!

“Gimme your cards, you walking eyesore!” Scarlet Lady shouted, quickly turning her yo-yo in a circle around her hand.

“Rude! Simon Says–”

“We won't let you get a word in edgewise, Akuma!” the other girl also turning a yo-yo in a circle around her hand, interrupted him, while the boy that had competed before him held a microphone staff like a weapon.

“What the–?” How had they managed to free themselves?! “Simon–”

“Nya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya!” Scarlet Lady drowned him out.

“Not listening~!” the girl screamed.

Too much. It was too much. He had to get a word, give an order, something!

“S–Simon–”

“AN OPENING!”

Pain.

Even with the phenomenal powers granted to him by Hawkmoth, getting hit in the back by a hard sole attached to a boy of about 50 kilograms going at the speed of a bicycle hurt.

The impact was such that he accidentally lost his one weapon, his deck of cards.

“Hawkmoth, why have you forsaken me?!” he cried out, before Chat Noir destroyed the cards and put an end to his reign.

----

Well, that had been... embarrassing.

Not only had the Akuma failed in his task, he had actually managed to entrap him. And he had also managed to embarrass him. On live TV.

So much for the PR department's ideas.

A lesson to be learned, he guessed. The next time he caused an Akuma in his civilian persona, he would have to make sure it was unable to reach to him.

He chose to ignore Nathalie's mysterious giggles when he mentioned his butterflies.

He went over to Adrien's room, to ensure he had come out well from the distressing event. While his son hadn't been captured by Simon Says, it must have been a terrible moment.

“Adrien.”

“Père?” Adrien asked. Maybe a bit surprised?

He chose to do something he hadn't done in much time.

“I'm glad everything worked out,” he said, giving Adrien a hug. My goodness, he was growing out – he now reached to his shoulder without him having to lean down too much.

“Y-Yeah.”

Letting him go, he mentally considered the time and thought he could take some time speaking with him, to ascertain his current state.

He looked down and saw something strange in Adrien's hand.

“I never noticed you wore a ring...” he pointed out, and Adrien gave him a look.

“I've been wearing this for 3 months now.”

…

Awkward.

“Ehem,” he coughed. Awkwardly.

Perhaps he should have paid attention to what Nathalie said about speaking with Adrien more regularly?

No time like the present, he supposed. He sat on the couch and invited him to sit next, and he asked about what had happened to him while he, Nathalie and Adrien's friends were taken to the studio. Fortunately, he had been left unmolested after they took his friends, and he had tried to reach the studio, only to learn on the way that Chat Noir and Scarlet Lady had stopped Simon Says.

Which prompted him to ask something else.

“Adrien, Scarlet Lady expressed interest in a relationship with you, and I wanted to know your thoughts–”

Adrien's face immediately acquired a color that seemed to vacillate between puce and green.

It actually resembled the one he got a night, so long ago, before he vomited his dinner in the hall. That had been a terrible night.

“EW. No.”

“Oh, thank God.”

There goes that bargaining chip, but at least my son isn't infatuated with... her.

----

The next Monday, the class was abuzz with questions for Adrien, Marinette, and Nino, and their involvement in the latest Akuma. Adrien had little to say, given that he had avoided the Akuma's attention by dint of pure luck, but Marinette and Nino more than compensated with their thrilling tale of escaping the minions and helping Chat Noir capture Simon Says by distracting him at the critical moment.

Meanwhile, Chloé decided to speak about an entirely different matter.

“Adrihoney~! I heard you got visited by the amazing Scarlet Lady!”

Adrien yawned.

“Ugh, yeah, and I have the eyebags to prove it.”

He must have stayed awake out of his love for me! Chloé thought, giddily.

“Soooo? Isn't she ultra fab? Don't you just love her?”

“Ew. No.”

----

Within Chloé's mind...

Statement by Adrikins: Ew. No.

In answer to: Don't you just love [Scarlet Lady]?

Statement indicates: Adrikins doesn't love Scarlet Lady.

Illogical. Everybody loves Scarlet Lady!

Illogical. Adrikins couldn't not love Scarlet Lady or me!

Ergo.

Statement by Adrikins must be ignored.

Delete Statement by Adrikins.

Deletion confirmed.

Statement by Adrikins never existed.

Logical truth: Adrikins loves me! And Scarlet Lady!

----

“Welcome to the set of your favorite game, The Challenge!!” Alec Cataldi proclaimed. “Last week, Nino, our friendly DJ, won his challenge! So as promised, here he is again!”

As Nino walked into the stage, Marinette and Alya turned to the surprisingly present Adrien.

“I can't believe your father let you come again!” Marinette said.

“And after he publicly mocked the show,” Alya commented.

“Well...” Adrien replied, feeling like the cat (heh) that ate the canary, and pulled out his cellphone. “I might've threatened to wear this to the next fashion show.”

And he showed them his latest discovery in the field of punny cat T-shirts.

One that had a cat showing his middle fingers, and the legend “Get meowt of here” around it.

He had already bought it; it was too good to not have it in his wardrobe!

“Oh my God,” Marinette, the most fashion-conscious of his friends, mumbled out, her eyes going wide like plates.

“The ultimate rebellion,” Alya joked.

----

“You'll have to make two celebrities dance this time! But you get to choose your opponents!” Alec declared. “Who's it gonna be?”

“Easy!” Alec might as well just close up the program and let him return next week. This was in the bag. “Supermodel, Adrien Agreste, and LadyBlogger, Alya Cesaire!”

As he waved them to the stage, Alec was clearly shocked that he had so easily won.

“Y-You can't just challenge your own friends! That's not a fair challenge!”

Oh, he just said that. He turned to look at the man.

“Do you really want to talk about what's fair? After last week?”

“Uhhhh...”

Seriously, one would think he'd have learned from his screw up with Stormy Weather.

----

Volpina

@zoe-oneesama Really hope someone will be able to remind Hawkmoth about how much he loved flapping around like a butterfly...

Seriously, the part where Gabriel is forced to act the butterfly and flap around (especially when Gabrial actually says 'flap flap') was too good. I'm sure that Nathalie has a small video library hidden in her personal computer where she can watch a list of Gabriel Agreste's funniest videos.

[yallmakemyassitch]

Okay how 'bout we try something a little different.

For Mid Fight Masses! R, L, Q, F, T and either U or D. For Selever, Sarvante and Rasazy. (Excluding Ruv mainly to go along with the canon that he's not ticklish)

Alright, this should be fun! I haven't done any MFM characters before (only once) so it'll be cool to do this =)

Headcanons✨

R - Lee or ler, what is generally their main role?

Selever: He has ler energy 200% but let's be real, this man is a lee by heart. He's a great ler but as a lee, all that bravado melts away and next thing you're met with is a giggling teenager, begging for you to stop. He's adorable, who would stop?

Sarvente: She is canonically ticklish according to the mfm's wiki page but on a serious note, while not a lee often has that ler aura lingering behind that sweet smile of hers. She has two children so of course she would be a motherly tickler. Nibbles, raspberries, kisses, anything a child would love to experience from their mother.

Rasazy: Rasazy is so mysterious that nobody can really pinpoint, nor give her a direct role. She could be both, one or the other, neither, it doesn't matter. It'd be best if you hadn't tried for yourself, she's quite powerful and could likely turn you into a pile of dust if she wanted ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

Q - Their response to the question ‘are you ticklish’?

Selever: "Uh yeah, duh???"

The guy is so confident that he'd be entirely honest, This causes the person asking to be taken off guard since they expected some sort of reaction like a blush or scowl but none of that happens. By then he's laughing in their face and makes fun of you for reaching the way you did. Don't try to tickle him either since he can see that shit from a mile away and is already prepared to scatter, along with the fact he can fly so it's gonna be hard to catch him.

Sarvente: "To be sincere my dear saint, I am ticklish. Why do you ask, kind stranger?"

She'll flutter her eyelashes at you all innocent, blissfully unaware of the grave she just dug for herself. Sarv isn't the smartest individual so when you approach her to tickle her, she'll just take that as a invitation for a hug, and a hug she'll give. Until you tickle her and she's shrieking.

Rasazy:

Rasazy won't respond, only staring at you and if you try to make a move , for a split second, her eyes will flash a blue and pink color. It'll be so quick you almost wonder if you're seeing things but once you see she's looks much more threatening, that is a warning you should take it.

F - What is their behavior in a tickle fight like?

Selever: He lives alone in The Nothing World with his sister, so that means no friends or other family members to be with. Tickle fights rarely occur between the two and if they do, they often end in disaster. He acts very predatory and skulks around the place, looking for Rasazy and teasing her to death while doing it, fully aware she can hear him from wherever she's hiding.

Sarvente: She is a wonderful partner to have in a tickle fight. Sarv is very trusting, making her victims easy to capture. She respects your boundaries and will stop if you say so but very thorough in what she's doing.

Rasazy: Not the type to participate and will typically quietly observe or just walk away. If Rasazy is somehow convinced to join than well consider it an instant loss. Despite her petite stature and innocence, she is very powerful and capable of 'restrainment magic'✨, bless your soul if you fall victim to her. Very merciless but will drop you once you've reached your limit. Maybe she'll comment that it was fun and even smile a bit before walking away.

T - Their most favorite methods of teasing their lee/ler?

Selever: He likes to feel in control and will make sure you know you aren't escaping unless he says so. Your struggles for mercy and your begging only inflate his ego, so he's absolutely gonna tease you more about it to hear your delicious cries for mercy. "You can't handle it? Aw, well that too fuckin' bad, suck it up! I ain't stopping anytime soon..." Selever will call you names like a crybaby but means no ill will and that only means he's having fun tickling you. You're likely enjoying it too and if he ever catches wind of this, he's never letting this go and will constantly taunt you for it, poking you randomly all around the place, leaving you a vicious cycle of hypertickilishness (it'll go away in 3-4 business days).

Sarvente: As a holy figure, she won't be as merciless as you think her to be. She's rather kind but because of her naivety, Sarv doesn't necessarily know when she's being a tease. She likes to point them out for her lee to hear and finds it cute when they get flustered. Sarv almost does this to catalog their victims so next time a tickle fight breaks out, she'll know exactly what to do and where to target.

Rasazy: Razy doesn't verbally tease. She is completely nonverbal and only watches her lee struggle and squeal quietly. Physically however is a different ball park. Rasazy will slowly poke her way up, almost like a itsy bitsy spider and relishes in the fact you're screaming a whole lot more.

U - Do they have some unusual tickle spots? Where?

Selever: The spot right between the wings and the shoulder blades. Those spots are the bane of his existence and he can't stand it when it's touched or tickled. But it's not his fault he breaks out in a fit or giggles or even cackled when you just happen to dig in.

Sarvente: Her hands are quite sensitive so imagine what it's like when they are even in any sort of contact. Hand holding with her freaking husband is a hassle since she has this stupidly large grin on her face and she's giggling like a fool. Ruv one time decided enough was enough and investigated it, very thoroughly examining her hand to see what made her tick. Ruv's finger gently tracing her palm would be too much for her and she yanking and pulling at it, begging for him to stop.

"Da, there is nothing to worry about I was just-"

"R-RUV! Nohohohoho!"

Rasazy: Beneath her chin. Hardly anybody knows this (except Selever's rat ass) but under her chin could get quite the giggle and even a blush if you're lucky enough. Rasazy actually enjoys it and likes the feeling of fingers caressing her chin, more brownie points if you manage to get her neck. Because of her reserved nature, nobody knows about it except Selever. Even though he's a little shit sometimes, he promises to keep her secret and often uses her chin to make her smile a bit if she's feeling a bit down. Selever is a greater brother than you think he is :3

D - What is there most ticklish spot?

Selever: A good way to catch him off guard is to sneak up on him, and one of best areas to start are his armpits. Dude squeals like a little girl before his cackling is all that fills the room, it is extremely loud! He can't even fight back because of how much is tickles and isn't even focused on revenge, only getting it to stop.

Sarvente: Ribs, sides, and hips. Attack any of those and she'll shriek at the top of her lungs. She refuses to remember the time Ruv was trying to get her attention during a church service and squeezed her side. The ensuing scream jumpscared everyone in the room, even herself a bit. Ruv sometimes subtly teases her about it and even wiggles his fingers a bit, much to her embarrassment.

Rasazy: Remember what I said about her chin and neck well, if you manage to make it down to her collarbone is when she really starts to react. This is only area where she genuinely laughs with a bright smile on her face. She can't focus enough on her powers to activate so she has to take it until the ler (Selever) stops. He finds this to be super intriguing and even nibbled on them before, much to her ticklish misfortune. Nibbles and raspberries are where they are actually effective and Rasazy is trying to push you off with a blush across her face. Once you'll stop depending on who you are, she won't send you through the roof.

[thestonelady]

I don't know if you are open for request but I just love so much your fics of NiallxNikkal so I wonder if I could request jealous Niall? Please and thank u 💖

Hello anon! 👋

Finally finished your request 😄 hope you enjoy it, I tried to keep them as in character as I could 👉👈

Also, SPOILERS FOR THIS UPDATE

Jealousy wasn't something he thought he had the right to feel. After all, what should he envy others for? He was well aware of his privileges and that what he had many couldn't even dream of.

Well, that was until recently...

~

He first noticed during practice. During their lessons they practiced both fire and sword.

"Got you!" Nikkal exclaimed happily, her wooden sword pointing at his unprotected side.

Niall blinked. That wasn't a move he or the other lecturers taught.

"Well done," he smiled, "I think it's enough for today."

At that she smiled happily.

"Tea?" he offered.

Nikkal brushed away sweat from her brow and sighed, "Would love to, but I already promised Su and Shimun to meet after practice... Thought, if you are free, you could join us? Iyar will be there too."

He had to bite his tongue, because the word 'yes' was already on the tip of his tongue. He wishes he could, he wanted to, but stopped himself. He shouldn't. He was their warden, and Tiamat knew he was giving them too much leeway already, and Nikkal above all.

He smiled sadly at her.

"Understood," she mumbled, disappointed.

He saw her off, but before she left, he asked her who taught her that move.

"Oh, a friend," she answered, "A fellow student."

As she left, he watched her, wondering which of the students could have taught her something he learned from Kingu.

~

Yes, he felt envious that he couldn't spend time with Nikkal freely. He tried not to show it, though, nor let it influence his decisions.

But then they came to Ur.

"And don't forget to tell her to visit us again," his father said.

This was already the umpteenth time he was internally smacking his head against the closest wall. He swore there couldn't be a bigger fool than himself. He acted too hastily and should have thought things through before he dragged Nikkal here. Niall looked at his father barely concealing his disgust and anger.

"Of course, my lord," he said through gritted teeth.

He thought of his mother. He remembered her face: full of sorrow and regret. She only ever was happy when he was with her. All other joys were already taken from her by Enki.

There was no way he would allow that to happen to Nikkal.

~

Practically running up the stairs, he gripped his sword again. Tiamat, this day couldn't get any more worse!

"...I am even tempted to invite you to stay with us. It's been boring around here lately."

Niall froze. That voice. That was Enlil.

No. Not them.

The air became thick. A strong current hitting him in the face, howling on the staircase. He heard something from the floor below fall and break. Them near her, suggesting these things to her, it made him see red.

At that moment he didn't even care what the main reason for his fury was.

One doesn't easily decline an offer from the Five. Their word was law, and disobedience meant death. But Nikkal, clever, brave Nikkal, said that he wouldn't agree. She was right, he wouldn't. But he himself had little power in this, he knew. It was his father's name that would make them reconsider. Enlil wouldn't challenge Enki, not in his current state. As much as his relationship with his father was a disaster, as much as he was angry at him, he was glad to have him.

The conversation had shifted to him, much to his disdain, but then Shamash dismissed her abruptly.

Had they noticed him standing on the last step eavesdropping?

It didn't matter now. Once Nikkal approached and noticed him, he nudged her to follow him out of the ziggurat. The sooner they would leave the better.

Niall exhaled. The worst already was behind them now.

~

Nikkal noticed it. How could she not? True, at first she didn't think it was actually jealousy, but simply regret having to turn down her offers to spend time with their friends, but then she saw the way he looked when Nanna decided it would be a good idea to hug her after the fire. They weren't that close! And she never showed him interest in that way either.

But still, Niall stood there with an unreadable expression on his face, glaring and looking as formidable as Tiamat.

And then the connection with the forest spirits. It helped her understand his feelings, and understand her own feelings. She knew now.

She still felt anxious after everything that happened during the last days. Ur, the prison, Ethan, Varassa, Leahy, Irkalla, Ereshkigal, Shamash and Enlil taking Iyar-

She sighed miserably. Why her? Why them?

She put her head in her hands. She felt numb. She couldn't sleep. How could she anyway? Tomorrow she will leave to find her mother. Just hours ago Iyar sacrificed himself to protect her. Just mere days ago Niall gave up his soul for her-

No, she wouldn't fall asleep now. Nikkal slipped out of her bed and went on a wall.

~

Turns out she wasn't the only one unable to sleep. She found him sitting on a window sill in one of the corridors.

Silently she sat next to Niall, watching him. He didn't turn to her yet, watching the horizon, where, far away, Ur stood.

"You should rest"

"So should you," she countered.

He didn't reply. She didn't expect him to.

After a while, she reached out to take his hand. He glanced at her tiredly before squeezing it gratefully.

Silence that lasted a few more minutes. The chirping of crickets. The sound of leaves swaying in the wind. A soft breeze caressing her face. Niall gently caresses the skin of her palm.

Nikkal then moved close and laid her head against his chest. He hugged her around her waist and pulled her closer to him.

The sound of his heartbeat soothed her a little. He was there with her and alive.

With that thought, she was lulled to sleep.

[themculibrary]

Rich/Poor Masterlist

Black AmEx (ao3) - copperbadge G, 4k

Summary: Bruce isn't sure he wants to use a credit card Tony gave him. Steve isn't sure he even knows how.

Can’t Stop Us RoboDads (ao3) - justanotherpipedream, rebelmeg T, 13k

Summary: The story of how a genius rich kid from New York and a poor military-bound kid from South Philly meet, get into shenanigans, birth a few bots, and forge a life-long friendship.

Diamonds Are A Girl’s Best Friend (ao3) - camichats wanda/tony E, 14k

Summary: Wanda ends up as Tony Stark’s sugar baby to help get her through college. Getting into that relationship was the last thing she expected and falling in love came as a surprise to both of them.

Faithless (ao3) - TheZev mary jane watson/tony E, 7k

Summary: While living in Stark Tower, Mary Jane decides she’s had enough of being Peter Parker’s broke wife. Now she’d rather be Tony Stark’s rich sugar baby.

Fund (ao3) - ardett T, 2k

Summary: Peter overshares. Tony oversteps. Things spiral from there.

Or Tony holds Peter’s college fund over his head and Peter doesn’t get into MIT.

I Know Better (ao3) - Fallenstar92 steve/tony T, 1k

Summary: Not_enough_furytony13 said: "Can u please do a fanfic where Steve and tony's roles are reversed (human au though) where Steve is a rich CEO and tony is a broke mechanic of some sort and he's running from an abusive boyfriend and past. And all of steves friends (who are all rich too) are really protective and think tony is just using Steve for his money but eventually figure out from different events with tony and snippets of Tony's past that tony isn't using Steve and genuinely loves him. Can u please also put a lot of angst in it but also a lot of fluff to balance out (I.e. Steve having to sleep on the couch because of a really stupid fight over something cute and trivial, tony having trust issues, the media being very negative or really positive) I really love your writing so I would really love to see your writing with this prompt!❤️❤️"

Iron Heart & America's Shield (ao3) - CMRandles steve/tony E, 17k

Summary: Stony!AU Steve Rogers is the CEO of a non-profit company that provides jobs and counseling for veterans. Tony Stark is a photographer struggling to make ends meet and pridefully refusing help from his billionaire father. Steve needs a genius artist for a marketing campaign that might snatch his company back from the brink of disaster. Tony needs to pay his rent without selling his soul. What could go wrong? Or, perhaps, very very right.

it's always sunny (in the rich man's world) (ao3) - parkrstark T, 7k

Summary: 5 times Peter worries about money...

Living ain’t cheap (ao3) - Strength_in_pain N/R, 2k

Summary: “I thought our utility bill would be lower. Shit shit shit.” May cried, running a hand through her hair. Or Peter is worried about May because their financial struggles have gotten worse and he ends up needing Tony Stark.

making a living ain't easy (ao3) - snarkymuch T, 2k

Summary: Written for this prompt from Raffeale: May and Peter can't afford rent and food anymore. May broke her arm last week. Now, their main source of income is Peter's job, which takes place almost every hour where he isn't at school. Tony finds out after Peter refuses his invitation to come over for the third time in a row. Because of this, Peter keeps giving most of his food to May. Low blood sugar, super high metabolism, and being Spiderman doesn't really mix well (fainting). Protective Tony Stark, Hurt Peter Parker?

peter’s stars (ao3) - IronPengu, parkrstark steve/tony T, 175k

Summary: Steve and Peter lose their apartment and are kicked out on the streets. Steve has to juggle between jobs to earn whatever money he can, take care of his son while resfusing to let him realize how much they’re trouble in, and keep them warm and safe on the city streets in winter.

So, he really doesn’t have time to date the billionaire that flirts with him everyday as he buys his cup of coffee. Even if he did, he can’t let himself fall for the man. Because if he knew that he lived from a backpack and showered in a public bathroom there’s no way he’d still want him…right?

Running (ao3) - kuro steve/tony G, 1k

Summary: Steve as a rich and famous artist & Tony as a poor mechanic AU. Or something like that.

[mimifreed]

Marauders Fics

Hey so I've realized that in my ineptitude of using tumblr, I haven't linked any of my wolfstar or marauders fics. So, I'm changing that.

Here we gooo

Can't Spell Stud Without U

Wolfstar rated T: Humor

1193 words

Sirius finds a muggle book of bad pick-up lines and makes it Remus' problem.

A Stake Through the Heart

Wolfstar rated T: Humor

2000 words

The Lupins have been protecting their village from Vampires as long as Remus could remember—and tonight the horror ends.

That is, until he meets the Vampire King.

When the Stars Fall

Wolfstar rated M: Angst

1477 words

Remus returns to the flat he shared with Sirius after the events of Halloween 1981.

Comfort Zone

Wolfstar rated E: Humor/Horror (i tried, okay?) PWP

7002 words

Remus was just trying to get out of his beloved comfort zone to help spark the creative flow. He got a bit more than he asked for.

Heed the tags on this one, friends.

Cool Names and Eggy Bread

Wolfstar rated E: Humor/Domestic PWP

5818 words

They've been together for years and have always been adventurous, so Sirius wants to try something new. The only problem is Remus has way too much fun poking holes in every story Sirius comes up with.

And here's some miscellaneous Marauders stuff:

Number 7, Church Street

Gen fic, Sirius. rated M: Angst

2535 words

Sirius tries to remember where James, Lily, and Harry live every day. And, every day, his memory is blank. Until it isn't.

A Fudging Disaster

Gen fic, Sirius & Remus. rated T: Humor

3346 words

Sirius and Remus help Fred and George perfect a new sweet for their skiving snack box by taking a trip down memory lane.

Don't Make It a Big Deal

Jily. rated T Humor/First Kiss

5954 words

Lily invites James over to work on some pre-term Head Boy and Head Girl scheduling. Bicycle riding and feelings ensue.

It Slipped!

Jily: rated G: Humor/Fluff

James lets something slip and Lily cannot stop laughing.

I Made You a Sandwich

Gen fic, James & Sirius: Bromance Fluff

words: 1053

Sirius isn't himself and James doesn't know what to do with that.

So, he makes him a sandwich.

Shaky Hands

Wolfbucks. Rated E: Light Angst PWP

words 3209

Years ago, in the room of hidden things, Remus and James had their own secrets. But after the war, Remus makes good on whispered promises made to friends.

[wribbles]

Izuku is a cousin of Mic, and one day when he's young his mom lets him stay over at his older cousins house, who just happens to have a friend over (Shouta). Mic asks if usually would play and make friends with him bc he's very much like a kid even tho he looks like an adult (age regression). Izuku is enthusiastic and agrees and starts up a friendship with the soon-to-be dubbed "Shou-chan".

They don't see each other often (usually only hanging out when Shouta's very little days coincide with izuku being over at Zashi's place. But they're still friends over the years as izuku grows up.

Everything is fine until the first day of highschool when izuku meets his teacher & goes through the aptitude test. Shou-chan is Nothing like how izuku had known him previously and he's confused. Especially after a concerned shouta yells at him during the test [the canon "can't be a hero if u break urself and become a liability].

Izuku is determined to avoid Shouta and not make any fuss bc his good friend seemingly hates him now and he hasn't processed that yet.

But he can't really avoid him when he goes to the faculty room to say hi to his cousin and said cousin invited him in to meet all the other cool heroes. Poor izuku is a nervous wreck after a disaster of a first day & leaves as soon as possible. Shouta noticed his discomfort and avoidance of him & follows after to talk.

Not much talking happens tho because izuku won't look him in the face and won't tell him what's wrong and seems to doubt they're even still friends... But shouta isn't the best with his words esp without preparation so he let's izuku run off and he asks Zashi for help.

Next day, after izuku broke himself again at the irresponsible battle trials, he wakes up in the nurses office to his cousin beside him checking in on him, soon followed by - oh god - Aizawa-sensei.

Zashi decided now it's a great time to break up the weird tension between these friends, so he brings it up and starts mediating.

Aizawa apologizes for how he yelled on the first day, and expresses his concern for izuku's new quirk. Izuku staunchly refuses to tell them anything bc 'its an important secret' - which frustrates both adults but they see he's too stubborn to push on this.

After, zashi coaxes izuku into saying his frustrations. Izuku comes clean that he thinks shouta hates him now, and is very confused why his friend is acting so so different than how he knows him.

Realization lights in Shouta's mind: they never explained his habit to him. He explains Age Regression to izuku - how he is an adult but for escapism and self comfort from stress sometimes he mentally reverts back to being a child, and he would sometimes be over with zashi bc children need adult help; then he met izuku who became his playmate and friend. (He compares it to someone being in a quirk accident that makes them mentally a baby in an adult body.) Shouta at school is just shouta when hes Big.

Izuku takes a moment to process but it all aligns for him. "So, we're still friends?"

"Yes, please."

Izuku is significantly happier understanding the difference in shouta, esp after being assured they can still hang out when shouta's little ("-if you even want to play with someone significantly younger than you,,," "yeah absolutely!!").

The adults get izukus assurance that he'll work on his quirk (and shouta says that he will be looking into this 'secret' bc hes suspicious and concerned; izuku tries to brush it off).

Zashi says he'll take izuku home and explain the broken arm to Auntie Inko [his mother's sister], shouta declines to join them.

The air is clear and all is well.

[lalalovezfrenchfriez]

I guess because I have no fear people will steal this (and if they do it’s a home brew…like…whatever) and I know my players will probably not even go for these missions and ruin it I am here to share a few npc quests and lore they will encounter before their fight with the BBEG

Vampires are a small clan in the mountains in the West that protect Orcs, Trolls and Goblins (OTGs) that have been prosecuted by more “humanoid” races. These vampires are resurrected beings and have been treated fairly humanly by the OTGs despite their bat like features. As a token of appreciation they protect the OTGs with only an ask for a large mansion for them to sleep in, and a daily dose of fruit that they devour (only the most drugged out vampires drink blood, it’s mostly wizards turned vampires) OTGs often let wanderers and explorers find the vampires and do not warn them, leaving a trail of skeletons to the vampires’ lair…

There is an expansive and HOT desert in the middle of the map for only about 5 miles, where the players will find large, tall….DINOSAURS?! Unfortunately the Fae, keepers of balance by the Deity’s word in the world, are there to exterminate the dinosaurs. Under The Deity’s eyes, the dinosaurs are not necessary in the world anymore, and must be killed with a natural disaster

A Fae in it’s homeland (a small area in the north east) that houses a Celestial Angel in its quarters, only for the players to find out the Fae and Angel are in love and are planning to run away from their duties to The Deity (heresy!) they know no matter what, they are willing to fight for their love…even if they are killed

There are Three Human kingdoms in the middle of the East and West, going down in order: The Wallowed, The Wondered and The Wild.

The Wallowed is a kingdom without a king, for once every winter solstice, do they welcome their King back: The Bone King! A joyous holiday is celebrated as the King’s bones are brought back by a mysterious magic and he rules his kingdom in its darkest times with a fit of pure childish joy! (He’s heavily based off of Jack the Skeleton King BUT COME ON ITS SO CUTE CHECK OUT THE WALTZ OF THE BONE KING BY PETER GUNDRY)

The Wondered is the Middle Kingdom, a trade path between the West to East and home to those who need shelter from Wars. The prince who rules this kingdom longs for his princess, and rumors speculate it may be the *gasp* fairy princess!?

The Wild, the lowest kingdom near the outskirts jungles of the south, with the Dinosaur Desert above them to separate from the Wondered, is ruled by an old yet generous Queen, who was once rumored to be a nymph for her connections to the Ani-folk (part animal part human, aka centaurs, Catfolk, Bugfolk, u get it) for her kindness to them to settle out wars, and her peace with them. While many of the human kingdoms have their fair share of distrust with Anifolk, the Wild Kingdom never strays or closes its arms to the smile of an Anifolk.

Separated by grudges and pettiness, the Wizard and Witch clans are on opposite sides of the world (Wizards West, Witches East) and whatever one the players meet upon, they meet a pair of twins (Kori, witch and Cory, wizard ) who are magical and were separated by the distrust of both. They need to pass messages upon to each other to meet at the Wondered kingdom for their freedom and reunion, and if is only up to the players to help.

The players encounter a troll, Jayne who invites them to the underground cities that the OTGs hide out in from their oppressors, only to realize they are not welcome because the OTGs never let outsiders inside their cities! Can the players come up with a good excuse to stay inside, and ease their distrust?

And finally, two silly ideas to play around with as the player’s journey comes to a close:

A Tentacle Seafolk (sea creature human mix) who wants the head of a Dragonborn (dragon human mix) for biting off her lover’s head, Krilliam. I find the name Krilliam hilarious. And the Tentacle Seafolk blubbering over the loss of Krilliam amusing. Idk I’m God.

A Catfolk who is willing to help the players to the island to meet the BBEG as she wants to be a seafarer however she is TERRIFIED of water, however if the players can convince her they can pay her in fish and that she can definitely steer a boat, she will agree. funny cat sailor.

THAT IS ALL I HAVE TO SHARE TODAY!

this was super fun as I can’t rly spam my friends with this, but I know for a great fact my bf and my two best friends will appreciate this, even if this is their first time playing! I’ll probably go into their quest later if anyone is rly interested, but I’m glad I have a space to freely share this :,) love u guys!