#u wouldve been better off asking me to post more

[actualbird]

Wait wait wait I forgot why do you hate the dragon/Rosa card? Is it the plot itself or the ending? 👀

irt my luke card story tier list and me putting SSR Looming Nightmare all the way at the bottom labelled with....

okay, so i actually made a post a long time ago about why i hate this card but after rummaging through my archive, i cANT FIND IT so im gonna have to explain all over again. heads up, this is gonna be a longwinded post, so please bear with me...

OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER THAT THESE ARE JUST MY OWN THOUGHTS AND OPINIONS, YOU ARE ALLOWED TO LIKE THIS CARD IF U WANT TO OK. DONT COME AFTER ME.

whenever i read any luke card story and judge its merit, i ask myself a couple of questions:

is it paced well?

does it say something interesting or new about luke, rosa, and/or their relationship together?

if there is angst, does that angst mean something substantial?

were there things in the card that couldve been done better?

overall, did i enjoy reading the card?

now let me go through each question one by one

is it paced well? HELL NAW. the entire first few acts go by so slowly with lots of infodumping exposition. even if there wasnt any infodumping exposition, the first parts of the card are boring. luke is essentially alone trekking up to where the dragon is, and by virtue of being alone, we only get to see his internal monolog with nobody for it to bounce off of. the entire first few parts of this card made me go "are we theeeeeere yeeeeeet????"

does it say something interesting or new about luke, rosa, and/or their relationship together? not.....really. it showed luke's devotion and guilt, yes, but we already knew he had that. i'll give this card some credit because it did show luke's devotion and guilt to Extreme Levels, giving us a glimpse of a "bad ending", so to speak, showing us how luke could end up if he destroyed himself. but like....given that these thing happen in what the card later reveals to be a dream, it feels like everything new that the story brought up amounts to nothing

speaking of it being All Just A Dream, let's head to our next question: if there is angst, does that angst mean something substantial? well, since it all just happened in mc's dreamscape, it essentially made the pain feel like it amounted to nothing. it wasnt real, after all. this couldve been handled in a way that couldve made the dream's pain more important, which leads me to the next question

were there things in the card that couldve been done better? YES. in the card, after mc wakes up from the dream, she remarks that it was strange and out of character and then luke comforts her and then like. thats it. i wouldve wanted to see the story instead delving into this more: like them discussing the implications of how mc's imagination thought it was in character for luke to KILL HIMSELF if he thought himself guilty for hurting and killing mc, how her imagination thought his guilt and devotion would reach that extreme. if they had talked about the dream together, if luke's comfort had more context, then this wouldve solved the problem of "does this card say something interesting about their relationship?" because this would be an avenue for something like that to bloom

lastly, did i enjoy the card.....i will admit, the card made me cry, so it's emotional impact isnt non-existent. but after i cried i was like. huh. most of that story was boring, none of it mattered in the first place, and it add anything new to their overarching relationship.

this is why i hate it

it couldve been better. i couldve ranked it higher as maybe in the "good but nothing special" tier, but like. the fact that it squandered its potential to be more, while also mostly just being angst for angst's sake.....well, thats why i hate it kjBLSJFKDJ

again, all just my opinions tho

[ipegchangbin]

HOLY SHIT Z WHAT THE HELL⁉️⁉️😟😟🤯🤯

NEVER HAVE I EVER READ A FIC THAT MADE MY PUSSY THROB THAT MUCH‼️‼️🤭🙁🥵🥵😳😳😱😱😱

I READ THAT THING LIKE FIVE 5️⃣🖐️🤯 TIMES AND TMI BUT I GOT OFF ON IT TOO BC DAMN WAS THAT GOOD😝😝😋😩😫‼️💕🙏💕

I WOOOOUULLDD DO LIKR A WHOLE ANALYSIS (hehe analysis 😼😼🤭😛) BUT UMMMM UR GIRL IS HIGHKEY ASS AT WORDS‼️‼️😥😰😱😭😫 LIKE POOKIE‼️😫 I LITERALLY FAILED ALL OF MY ENGLISH CLASSES BACK IN HIGHSCHOOL😀😀😀😀⁉️⁉️⁉️BUT AAAANNNYWAYS WHAY YHE HELL Z 😱😱🤯🤯

THE WRITING IS LITERALLY SO AMAZING🤩😍😝😋😋😋

WHY⁉️⁉️😡😡

WHO GAVE U THE MF RIGHT TO WRITE THIS GOOD😡⁉️⁉️⁉️😡🤬🤬😡🤬🤬😾

BUT FR POOKIE WHAT DO U PUT IN YOUR FICS BC🥴🥴🤤🤤🤤😵‍💫😵‍💫😵😵‍💫😵‼️‼️‼️

THERES BARELY ANY BOYPUSSY FICS OUT THERE WHICH IS DEVASTATING 🤬🤬🤬😓😢😩😫😡🤬

UR MY SAVIOR Z‼️‼️🥹🥹🙌💕

ALSO YOUR ART OF BOYPUSSY HANNIE IS SO FUCKINF DELICIOUS LIKE I OPENED THAT LINK AND ZOOMED RIGHT ON THAT PUSSY AND I FUCKING DROOLED‼️‼️🥴🤧🤤🤤🤤💦💦 GUESS WHO TOUCHED HERSELF WHEN SHE SAW IT❓❓❓THATS RIGJT‼️‼️ ME😻☝️💕💕💦 I NEED MY MF MOUUUTYHH ON THAT JUICY MF PUSSSAAYYYYYY‼️‼️‼️🙏🙏😫😝👅💦

READER IS MUCH BETTER THAN ME🙌🙌🤧🤧 CAUSE IF IT WERE ME I WOULD’VE PUT THAT VIBRATOR IN HIM AND ATE THAT MF PUSSY OOOUUTTT AND SUCKED THE LIFE OUTTA THAT CLIT😝😝😛😋😋🙏🙏🙏 RIGHT AFTER HE SQUIRTED LIKE IM FR GONNA MAKE HIM SQUIRT AGAIN BUT THIS TIME IN MY MOUTH 😋😛😛😜💦💦🤪😍😍😍LIKE THIS TONGUE IS GONNA FUCKING ABUSE THAT ALREADY ABUSED CLIT EVEN MORE 👅👅💦💦‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️DID I MENTION I LOVE CLITS❓❓❓ IF NOT THEN I WILL NOW‼️‼️‼️ I LOVE CLITS‼️🙌😋 CLITS ARE SO FUCKING AMAZING‼️‼️😍😍😜😫🙌 EVERY TIME I SEE SOMETHING ABT STIMULATING A CLIT IM IMMEDIATELY BRICKED 🧱🧱🧱 UP⬆️☝️🆙👆CAUSE IF IT WERE ME I WOULDVE TIED SUNGIE UP WITH A VIBRATOR TO HIS CLIT AND LEAVE HIM THERE FOR HOOOUURRRSSS‼️♾️😝😛😫☝️😋💦 I WOULD SPEND THE WHHOLE MF DAY ON THAT DELICIOUS CLIT ‼️‼️😍😛😋🙌👅💦😽👉👌OH MY GOD I SOUND GAY ASF BUT IDC BC ITS PUSSY‼️‼️😻🫰WHO DOESNT LOVE PUSSY⁉️⁉️⁉️😾😾I LOVE PUSSY‼️‼️‼️😛😛👅😻😽🙌 I WOULD EAT HANNIES PUSSY OUT ALL DAY ALL WEEK ALL MONTH ALL YEAR ALL CENTURY‼️‼️‼️‼️😝😜😜😽 THAT PUSSY IS SO MF JUICY💦💦 WND DELICIOUS AND IS BEGGING TO GET TOUCHED‼️‼️🙌👉👌😋

anyways pookie keep up the good work, amazing writing as always!! <3 🥰🥰💕 (definitely not rereading it for the fifth time and getting off on it…nooooo definitely not… ☺️☺️)

OH YM GOD i just logged in and this is the first thing i see 😭 I FUCKING SEE U ANON‼️ u are very seen

ANON I LOVE U SO MUCH MORE WTF THE AMOUNT OF PRAISE THAT U POURED OVER THIS 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 HAS BOYPUSSY BROKEN US BECAUSE IT SEEMS AS THOUGH IT HAS 😭😭😭 GOOD LORD and to think that this was supposedly just a private gift but mei is kind and i was able to post it … NOW IM SO GLAD I SHARED IT BC U HAVE FOOD TO EAT MY DEAREST ANON 😁

“ure my savior” yo…yo dont perceive me as messiah itll inflate the shit out of my ego /j and give me impostor syndrome /hj BUT IN ALL SERIOUSNESS gosh i cldnt stop giggling u made my day with these compliments like im just Some Guy but because of ur words i am now Some *Happy* Guy

and omg! URE RIGHT MAYBE SHOVING THE VIBE IN AND EATING HANNIES PRETTY BOY CLIT OUT WOULDVE BEEN SO GOOD…but then again…TEASING THE BOY JUST FEELS SATISFYING ‼️‼️ i love hannie and his clit actually i love pussy in general i wish i had boypussy especially boyclit in my mouth rn (in a non sexual casual way) (which was what reader intended) (until y/n and han both went CRAZY)

i wont lie this ask gave me massive eye strain from the emojis /pos like that brings me joy ?! its an impressive thought to know that somebody out there is losing their mind over silly words i wrote and a few lines that i drew. CRAZYYYY thats crazy?!!!

ill keep this entire ask, print it into a booklet form, and reread it as if its a mini prayer guide. i cant anon ure so silly and precious HAHAHAH hope u have the nicest day always!

[wafflesfromtheuniverse]

birthday posting

i had some intresting talk w them in the past few days

they dont celebrate christmas anymore

i dont belive in god, they do, so weirdly enough it should hurt them more if u were to go off just by this information

i wouldnt say im hurt anymore

but is was

for atleast a year or two

i was always saying chirstmas is overrated, i dont like it, capitalism this, capitalism that

then i guess i was a clown for being hurt not having somehting i "despised" so much

because i didnt like christmas

i liked giving gifts, i always did

i didnt like christmas but i liked taking a break

i did not like christmas but i liked the fact that some people actually tried to be nicer atleast in those few weeks before the event

i didnt like christmas for the advertisements, i hated christmas for the sappy clichés, for everything fake

i didnt like how many people around christmas time told me how to love someone

still it hurt when mom said there will be no more christmas at home

i mean they said they wont, what i do is obviosly my choice

but really it just mean i have no one to celebrate with

and what hurt was that, i wouldve been fine with it if there was anything else here

but like i said before, my family isnt really behaving like one (?)

i thought it was my emo teenager self thinking that for a long time but, mum said something similar

that we dont behave how a family should be

we dont talk much

we talk obviously everyday but we dont t a l k

i kind of blame that on the fact that we are really different

i dont belive in things they belive in, and nowadays their whole world is built around their beliefs

if i could talk about softer topics with them i would

but in the end everything ends up with god in their mind

no matter where i try to drive the convo to keep it going, it somehow always ends up there

in the past few days it was kind of better, i gave them a gift on the 21st and told my mom to accept it for me, im not giving it because of christmas

i didnt say a ord to my dad just left the stuff on his desk

i had a "fight" (id rather say disagreement, because it was not aggressive in any way) with my mom about this on the phone that day

i was scared my dad would not accept or somehting, not even scared, better word is uncomfortbale

guess what he was happy

i feel like my mom overdramatizes a lot of things and all that fucking stress murders me for nothing

today too

its my birthday, i got a cake in the morning like always, and it was delicious like always

i was kinda out of it because i just woke up so i didnt talk much but i was happy, i thanked them for the gifts i got and sat down to eat with them

i dont want to get into details but the whole thing started out of the fact that we didnt have the kind of milk i use for coffee, and i asked if theres any

mom somehow already looked snappy

the whole conversation spiraled from there

later on the day i thought we solved it by having smaller talks

but shes on and off with me today all fucking day

and somehow im more sensitive about it

i always feel irony in her voice, this passive aggressive shit, and if i bring it up "its just you", somehow its my faulth

im so fucking tired

today i honestly didnt do anything because i felt like, on my birthday i could do that without a single guilty thought

but the way she spoke to me whenever she looked into my room felt like she had a problem with me again

i dont know

i know im sensitive about this, but i cant help it, she can be extremely cold, and its my birthday

i wanted it to be calm

i just dont feel

i dont feel love coming from her at times like this

like none

i feel like a problem, a burden

im trying to be stronger but its hard

christmas was something when i felt love, calmness around me, and thats what i liked about it, i did not give a shit about how we decorated it

but even that is gone too

and i feel like its a rare occasion when i feel loved

im fucking tired

i have little motivation wich makes me lazy, wich makes me feel kind of lesser again

im fighting tho

its hard

but im not giving up obviously

i cant, not yet

i just wish my mom could be softer, more understanding

i realized in this home that i crave love like crazy, but

somtimes it makes me uncomfortable when i recieve it

i guess some forms of love are rarely experienced by me so its strange, cringey when i get it

but i try to remind myself to everything i get

the fact that they got me a cake, and hugged me in the morning

that was nice atleast

yeah i have to

i have to calm myself

and remember when i get love

welp this got longer than it was meant to be

my mom opened the door on me, i told her not to come in but she did anyways, said she thought i said she can

(i dont want to blame her but i said it like 3-4 times to please not come in, and i know her brain just literally skips trough it, we talked about this before, she said she will try but this was fucking shitty timing)

i was crying, idk if she saw it or realized

i kinda hope not

its okay tho bc im done w my birthday cry atleast lol

these updates are always shitty lol but, i have to remind my future self that im only posting the shitty selfreflection times

like i have not posted about how i met up w 2 of my close friends yesterday, made a bunch of photos with 2 shitty digital cameras (mine's screen is literally in negativ and has these strikes on the screen, so u cant see how the pics actually turn out until its on ur phone/pc lol) smoked a bunch because we're unhealthy like that, went to a christmas fair and left quicly bc everything was expensive and it was cold. even the snow started falling wich is like really rare in this region in this time of the year

so we had a white christmas

i think i hear me mom talk about how sensitive i am

i didnt even do anything except cried and wrote my shit out in peace

but now thats a problem too, because she knows i was sad bc of her

im already over it, or i would be but i just fucking hope she doesnt want to talk about this more, because that would be more hurtful than useful, if we look at the fact that shes deadset on defending herself even if i wouldnt say anything about her

whatever

im older w one year

im 22 rn

im kinda lost in life

but thats nothing new so

i just have to power trough it

i actually did better this year

i read back a lot of posts i left in here and

i am making progress

kinda really slow but

its progress

so yeah peace out or some cool way to say goodbye here

[95zintheirownworld]

more of vmin in memories of 2021

[hirokiyuu]

sols roundup masterpost

i mentioned i was reworking the original post on my ao3 and so here it is! please note that a) there are a LOT of spoilers under the cut  (guy who has 80+ hours and multiple multiple endings) and b) there’s a lot of ways to take sol and these are just me having fun with them, if u dont like thats fine but dont tell me i don’t care. lol. also worth noting i think time loops are most fun when they subtly influence each other so there’s a lot of that in here LOL

worth noting i think theres a few traits that are pretty universal to them? wants to do right and full of love are the big two, tho curiosity, (seeming) warmth, and ability to fit in w/those around them are also pretty important tho i think more flexible. its just fun the way various sols can have those traits like.... manifest? an alien-hater sol who goes hunting all the time is just as valid as a sol dating dys that wants to end the war. just different ppl they love and different experiences. its fun

with that. onto the Meat

1) solana (she/her (demi?)girl, loyalty leaning lawyer, neutral end)

baby’s first run! outwardly warm but pretty cold inside. hypercompetent everywhere except in her love life. fell for tang when they were like nine on the ship and just sort of, never stopped, feeling that way, including when she was 100 years old and had outlived tang by nearly forty years, partially bc fixating on tang as people were dying was kind of. the only solace she had. wouldve really benefited from a good therapist.

2) solanaceae (he/him tguy, governor, peace ending)

childhood optimist with a hero complex turned "realist” but actually-exactly-the-same-just-depressed-about-it adult. saves tammy and tonin and hal! cannot save his parents :) grows a little distant from most of the people around him as a result, except dys, who Gets it. avoids tang for pretty much no reason he can understand, just has a sense of She Will Hurt You If You Get Too Close when he sees her sometimes. becomes governor solely bc he wants to save people. the kind of person you can trust in your house with your keys and your valuables and then someone asks ‘hey whats his favorite color’ and youre like. i dont. actually know

3) solane (they/them nb, gardener ending)

manic overconfident freak. definitely a ‘i wont tell people about my dreams bc it’s like i’m a HERO this way!’ type. saves everyone and extremely proud about it. coasting through life from ages 14-19 until they go find dys after the bomb has gone off and he’s dating. someone else? which makes them freak out bc THEYRE the hero. so instead of being normal about this they become a gardener in a desperate attempt not to be left behind

It’s Bad!

4) solanaceae (he/him cisguy, colonial hero, neutral ending) x / x

this is the one ive been referring to in private as “fascist manwhore sol” and honestly. yeah. just as overconfident as the last but extremely charming about it. the kind of guy you kinda wanna hit but also can’t help but like? somehow manages to be close w/most everyone in the colony despite their various opinions. really really hates the gardeners + even sym, for some reason w/in himself that he can’t explain. 

in Love with dys for most of their lives but cant ever make it work, fwb with rex, dates vace despite having matching tattoos with his ex-gf. hes just that kind of guy. dies young and a hero, less than a year after dys disappears into the ridges. dont think abt it too hard.

5) solane (she/her nb, neutral end, roboticist on accident somehow but a social skills job wouldve fit much better)

if third sol Thinks theyre god this sol like. actually Is. extremely clear dreams, used to talk abt them pretty much always until her first trip to medbay, at which point she stopped ever letting adults know. kind of existentially exhausted as a result. using this life literally just as a coffeeshop au lol. poly but also probably aromantic; open rship w/rex, who they love a lot but no more so than literally any of their other friends. pretty happy with stuff! 

until they go to see dys off when he “vanishes” from the colony and they accidentally let it drop they couldve like. ended the whole war. he’s. displeased. they still make an effort to enjoy the rest of their life but when they die theyre thinking abt how they should try to be a better person next time. and also hoping they remember less.

6) solanaceae (genderfluid but generally refers to self as a lesbian, peace end, botanist) x

cheerful heroine! desperately wants to be normal and tries so so hard to ignore her dreams, which works kind of, right up until they very purposefully ignores the one abt tammy and tammy dies immediately after :) at which point they completely switches gears and uses their dreams to try and save Everyone they can. bffs with nem since childhood & into her pretty much Always. everyone’s friend! dies content and at peace.

interestingly, bc this is the route where i got paradox ending on a save, probably the sol closest to the wormhole + everything about it, despite not actually remembering much from his dreams. it manifests in other ways. lol.

7) solane (she/her cisgirl, neutral end, roboticist)

coward who can only be brave when it’s for the sake of the people she loves, most notably tammy who she actually dislikes until she saves her life, at which point she realizes maybe she Can be a hero too. better with robots than people, spent most of her childhood following cal around bc he was one of hte only ppl to make time for her. falls madly in love w/tammy; their family is her biggest joy. a good parent.

8) solanaceae (he/him agender, neutral end, doctor)

feral intense child who becomes a terrifying eagle-eyed doctor. max perception by age eleven, somehow. STRONG sense of justice. strongest belief is “if you ignore someone you couldve saved, you’re garbage.” not quite high enough friendship w/nem to convince her to leave vace as teens; helps her later on when theyre adults. years and years later after dys “dies” they end up moving in and spend the rest of their lives together.

9) solanaceae (they/them nb, peace end, entertainer)

awkward ace kid who always speaks their mind. accidentally destroys tammy’s confidence every time they talk. gets confessed to by both marz and rex, shoots them down extremely awkwardly due to both aforementioned asexuality and the fact theyve had a crush on dys since they were thirteen. takes their promise to let him go seriously to the point that when he tries to bomb hte colony, they let him, and when he wants to be a gardener, they don’t stand in his way. is alright with this at first but slowly begins to feel lonelier and lonelier about it as time passes, and when they die and realize they won’t actually be with him again they feel. Very Bad. pass on wishing they’d not let him go but resenting him for asking to.

10) solane (she/her cisgirl, neutral end, xeno wrangler)

ive been calling this one “cuckoo bird sol” for a reason. desperately wants someone to be devoted to Her and Her Alone who Won’t Leave, and feels like. cal is good for that. doesn’t like tammy as a result, which means that when she has a nightmare abt tammy dying she doesn't even care, it’s not like its REAL. yeah. It’s Bad! she feels guilty abt it and then feels bad bc she’s also happy bc cal spends more time with her but also she does sure feel like shes competing against a dead girl huh! so! that’s fun!

eventually she does work her shit out and realize she does like cal himself and does want kids on her own terms but like. the process of getting there! one fucked up kid. dies more content than she realized she could be, glad for her family.

11) solanaceae (she/her nb leaning, peace end, parent) x

rowdy. her heart is 80% love and 20% pure unadulterated rage. unaugmented, which she personally doesnt care abt, but she sure does get pissed off at ppl trying to be soooo nice to her abt it! too busy w/sfc stuff during wet and as such completely misses her chance to talk dys out of the bomb. when she finds him on the ridges afterwards they yell at each other abt being in love w/each other for forever and she manages to drag him back home.

in some ways this would be my “golden run” (full friendship with everyone) (jesus christ) but despite that her actual bffs besides dys are tammy and (unfortunately) vace. in another world i would retcon this to ot3 but in this one she kissed sym and then he died in front of her and despite herself she kind of cant stop flinching away from him now if he tries to make a move. they do hinge poly instead it works. has a boatload of kids and never augments any of them. dies exhausted and delighted and in love w/the world. 

12) solane (he/him cisguy, peace ending, parent oops)

delusion run! sol who cant stop talking abt his delusions even when he knows he should. pursues dys in the “we were In Love before so we will be again!” way not the “i like you!” way until he gets. y’know. lobotomized. in some ways not focusing on his dreams is good for him but also he loses a lot of his personality? focus? afterwards

teases tammy relentlessly but ends up falling for her but bc for some reason this run glitched and tammy’s pregnancy just. kept going. she never had the kid? so i didnt date her even tho he wouldve lol. tbh most of th ending for this one is what id consider noncanon for him but ill retcon it later when i have more Vibes in place

13) solanaceae (they/he, peace ending, astronaut) this is a dead dove run (mentions of abuse)

unlucky number thirteen :) sol coming out of a delusion run with the creeping sense that they should not trust Anyone with their secrets. a little disconnected from the ppl around them tho they get on well enough w/dys and tang. madly in love with the wormhole. desperate to get off the planet and back into space so they can see it, a sentiment no one shares until, y’know. vace.

in Love (lol) with him after his 50. first time theyve ever met anyone they think Gets them so they enable him. fucking crushed when he starts dating nem. when he offers to cheat they take him up on it, which means he learns nothing and they lose one of their childhood friends :) eventually they go into space together just like they wanted! it’s bad! die in the wormhole and i think thats the first time they ever truly, from the bottom of their heart, regret everything. never want to fall in love again.

14) sol (no pronouns whenever possible but sort of ok w/they, peace ending, farmer) warning for abuse mentions in this one as well

sometimes you get so badly abused in one life your next life it still affects you! kind of an odd child, gets along better w/congruence than the other kids but thinks of cal is like a brother. doing ok until helios lands and then it’s like. h

avoids vace like the plague, despises/is afraid of him but doesn’t realize why until after sol starts understanding dreams more. when he dies i think sol wants to be like Good Riddance but. cant fully. approaches rex bc sol want to know What’s Up With The Whole Rex+Vace Deal, end up falling pretty hard. dating sym also, the three of them living together is an Experience i think. dies full of Love.

15) solana (he/him tguy, peace end, athlete)

rambunctious! cheerful! kind of dumb! falls in love w/cal from a young age and is convinced they’re gonna grow up and get married and is subsequently crushed when cal starts dating tammy instead esp bc. cal sort of. lead them on a bit w/it. slowly falls in love w/dys in the aftermath.

a bit immature. plays sportsball even in the middle of war, tension with both cal And nem as a result despite still being their bffs. he and nem are on opposite sportsball teams for the rest of their lives and yet go out for drinks after constantly. she’s his sister, basically! dies pretty happy w/how things turned out

16) solanaceae (she/they, neutral end, merchant)

greedy greedy greedy. wants money and love and attention, time and people and things, everyhting you can think of she wants it. she marz and tang are the Terrible WLW Trio of Girls Who Might Be Dating. bit of a soft spot for dys she can’t quite rationalize, will be kind to him when she’s not to anyone else. fond of rex as well.

she and marz flirt by flirting with tang, aka the person she Actually likes. pretty happy when they finally hook up, but isn’t devastated by the breakup as much as she is.... left hollow. another mistake on top of everyhting else (capitalism, dys vanishing, girl shes liked forever dumping her, also theres maybe a fleet from earth coming but haha dw abt it) she tells rex abt the fleet maybe a year? before it shows up. dies wishing desperately she had been able to be kinder.

17) solana (he/him tguy, peace end, professor) x

sugary sweet! childhood friends with tammy, they’re v similar people. loves her a lot, cannot wait to be best man at her wedding to cal LOL. despite his gentle demeanor he is also absolutely the kind of guy to do Whatever It Takes for the ppl he loves (ie poisons uncle tonin to keep him alive LOL)

thinks nomi is like, the coolest person in the universe when they meet bc they can MAKE things. so so stupid about them. when they start dating its embarrassing for everyone but they are so happy together no one can actually say anything. dies happy but wishing he was more confident in himself/brave

aaaaaaaaanyways that’s the current list. for Now. there may be more coming. i have offshoots of some of these as well that may or may not pop up wwww generally for fic that isn’t set with a specific sol i tend towards an nb sol closest to personality+dreams to my sixth sol? cheerful and trying to help but also Just A Kid about it!

[rinstars]

hey is everything alright??? you kinds disappeared on us. hope everything’s okay

hiiii everyone! everything's fine. now. at the very least, everything is starting to be okay. i'm sorry i disappeared for a while without saying anything or giving u guys updates about why and if i was ever coming back. there's probably a lot of questions you guys have so ill just break it down in a single post, making it easier for u guys to find what you wanna know.

1. what happened and where were u?

thing is, the last time i was here i mentioned something about being sick and that was originally the only time i needed off. i was just waiting to get better and it wasn't supposed to stretch into a month. however, a very unfortunate incident happened where i had to be hospitalized and monitored as i sustained an injury to my already very weak knee. growing up, my right knee has always been very prone to dislocation but it wasnt too serious to the point that i could still join cheerleading and excel in it. it wasnt until i was doing a dance required for one of my classes and my knees knocked and snapped that i fell so hard crying when i realized this time it was.. bad. i had a surgery that wasn't anything too crazy and got put in a cast until i was fully recovered bc simply popping it back to place like they always did stopped working. that, too, was fine. but finding out i'd have to take it easy on dancing and possibly cut off anything that has to do with the hardcore dancing i was used to for the rest of my life to make sure it wouldn't get any worse than it already was literally depressed me and put me in a slump and i just didn't want to answer anyone and tell people all about it yet. especially not on tumblr where i know people were waiting for something ive promised to finish. i was just very out of it and wasn't sure if i was even in the right mindset to ever continue being here at the time. so there's that but now that im able to tell u all about it, it means it's gotten a lot better and u dont have to worry about my knee bc it's healing fine :") im very thankful for all the messages and i read and appreciated all of them. im sorry it took me so long to respond.

2. what's gonna happen to cfm?

the very short answer to this is im not abandoning it and will continue writing the remaining 3 parts! dont worry! you can rest easy. however, ill take this in my own pace. ill work hard to post it in 2 weeks time but it's not a promise and i'm still wrapping my head around my whole knee thing and the start of my semester. but i love the series and it means a lot to me. i want to see it finished probably more than any of u do that's why you can count on the ending that will surely come. i know ive gone so long without updating and idek if any of u will still be reading it when i post it in a few weeks! but it's a risk im willing to take because we're so close to the end! and i am so excited for all of u to see how suna and yn end up living after where i left act x on hehehe

3. im not leaving and im sorry

i feel really horrible leaving u all in the dark for like more than a month now i think. that was a dick move. if an author i follow suddenly disappeared after what happened in act x i wouldve been mad and worried too so im really sorry. i didn't want to ignore any of u. i was just in a place where i didn't feel like moving. thank u to everyone who has been very understanding with me despite not knowing what was happening. to my friends on discord that i wasn't replying to, to all my followers and readers, to everyone who reached out to my friends hoping to know if im doing well, thank u sooo much and i love and appreciate u all so much.

im sorry this got so long but i hope i answered everything! if i missed anything, please just send me more asks, ill be happy to answer them hehe. love u!

[catty-words]

#one gets all snarly and angry when i think about how her friends were right to be wary of the idea of devi dating someone#who consistently said very mean things about her and how we never interrogated that shift in d/b's relationship#or did anything interesting with it#ANYWAY

thats interesting! im kinda surprised by your tags bc i thought the meanness and give-it-as-good-as-u-got was part of the appeal for benvi shippers but yeah i do agree it wouldve been cool to explore that! how do u think the show shouldve handled it? if u had any ideas for it, that is. would love to hear ur thoughts!

since i'm over a month late answering this ask, a link to the post in question.

so. the give-as-good-as-you-get aspect of the relationship does very much appeal to me but, while the fact that they're jerks to each other puts them on a level, it doesn't negate the effect of their words. they're still legitimately very mean to each other in a way that shapes the other's insecurities because they love to poke specifically at the things they know the other doesn't like about themselves (i feel like the 1.02 mustache exchange is perfectly indicative of this for the way it exploits devi's failure to adhere to western beauty standards at the same time it exploits ben's inability to live up to his own expectations of masculinity).

i don't have a full story arc in mind for how they could have done this better, really, except to repeat complaints about season two that i've already voiced. if they hadn't made devi's feelings for ben quite so swoony or romanticized and if they hadn't written ben as if he was morally in the right literally all season, there would have naturally been some tension around their changing dynamic. they would have been snippier, probably, with devi refusing to accept ben punishing her/icing her out and ben more insistently calling out devi's numerous flaws as he perceives them instead of sulking off in the corner all wounded and tragic. but it wouldn't be exactly like season one because devi would have first-hand evidence to push back against ben insisting she's undesirable and ben would be able to use the two-timing as the ultimate trump card against anything she could reasonably say.

basically, it should have been a season-long conversation around what they mean to each other now. not always an emotionally productive one, but something that felt more like growing pains than a flipped switch, than two almost entirely unrecognizable characters.

[scandeniall]

falling in love | atsumu m.

pairing: atsumu x reader

warnings: few curse words. Yk the usual; aged up/post time skip

alternatively; what its like falling and being in love with atsumu

thank u all for the thoughts on the sakusa version. figured i’d give another boy a try and am considering making this a series 

Falling in love with Atsumu feels like being on a roller coaster. There are so many ups and downs but you never want to get off. Falling in love with him requires time but once you do its the most amazing thing in the world. 

Its meeting at Onigiri Miya after he’s had a long and rough day at practice and you two order the same meal. The order is called off and in a haze of exhaustion he thinks its his grabbing the bag almost immediately bumping into you and dropping the bag. Hes so so tired and so so hungry that he nearly tears up before mumbling a series of expletives, not even processing any of the spew of apologies you shoot at him. Even worse when he finds out it wasn’t even his order he dropped, because so much for a free meal. He’s in shock when you decline him buying you a new one because he “looks ready to drop dead at any moment.” He barely processes the way Osamu comes out both annoyed at the mess and amused at his frozen twin before telling you a replacement was on the house and forcing Atsumu to go nap in the back for a little because driving home. 

Its how after that night, he’d started seeing you more and more at the shop, very brief conversations here and there leading up to him asking for your number since “ya seem to come here as much as me.” At some point he found out that its because its your roommate’s favorite spot and picking up dinner is on your way home (not that you've ever mentioned that you’d gotten to enjoy the view of both the cook and his brother.)

Its the friendship you develop with his twin and fit right in with their friends. In some whirlwind of conversation you expressed concern for him (as a stranger) to where his brother said it wasn’t unusual for him to come in, half dead, eat and sleep off some of his exhaustion before heading home. It wasn’t all the time, but often enough. However, accidentally stealing someone else's food was a new one for him. You jokingly called Atsumu sleeping beauty, which was the start of it. The two of you frequently teamed up against the twin, to tease at him and no matter how much Atsumu claimed to hate it and he wishes you two despised each other, he cant hide the smile that tugs at him. 

Its the moments like the one when you met where you end up picking him from practice, catching a ride to the gym because he's so so tired and wants nothing more than to stuff his face and sleep for days. Just months into your friendship he’s trusting you with his car, because you seem that dependable. The praises of you being a good friend as his hand lingers against yours after passing the keys over to you. The way he looks slumped against the cars window has something stirring inside of you. You take a picture for blackmail later and to reinforce how much better he is when hes not talking. 

Its how he sits on your couch eating all your snacks while he shit talks all the guys that appear on your tinder. Calls some of them jobless losers, and its the frist time he admits that he thinks you're hot. “Yer too hot for that guy”, while swiping left on all of them (even the ones you would’ve gone right for.) The way you retort confirming that he thinks you’re hot has him speechless and stuttering, insisting that he didnt mean it like that, yet can’t explain how he meant it. 

The times you bicker and he suddenly becomes the worst friend you have. The time you two had stopped talking for like a month, mad over something you’d forgotten a week later. Yet, all you knew is that you were supposed to be mad. He could “go to hell” and you were “so fucking annoying.” Over the course of your friendship he’d made it a habit of taking things from you; your favorite mug because he still had a drink in it when it was time for him to go. Your fuzzy socks that he’d claimed during a movie night, because your apartment was way too cold. The spare reusable bottle because he forgot his and was already on his way to the gym. You’d resorted to trying to slowly get your stuff through Osamu, but by week 3 he’d grown tired of it. He promised you both a free meal if you came and helped him close up one night, before forcing you two to talk it out. Within five minutes the two of you are laughing. 

Your first date had been one by accident of some sorts. You’d been walking around a shopping center at night and he’d caught view of a new ice cream shop. It was his cheat weekend and he suggested stopping. His treat. Some time in between you going home he’d teased that it felt like a date. You both were hit with a oh shit kind of moment because it was true. Throughout the night your hands had brushed several times, and you’d both even let the other use your spoon to taste your different ice cream flavors. 

Atsumu’s feelings came relatively easy. He thought you were kind, funny, interesting, and of course attractive. You had a way of leaving him speechless with your quick and witty comeback, and it was refreshing. It’d been something he hadn’t seen much since his high school days with Aran. However he’d denied the feelings for the longest, swearing to himself that he’d never have a crush on you. You were just one of the bros, but better.But, after that first date its like the feelings just flooded out. It’d ended with you hinting that you’d be interested in going on another one, “perhaps a real one this time,” and he just nodded. 

There weren’t many dates before the two of you dived into your relationship. Afterall, you’d been friends for over a year and if he’d thought you were annoying he wouldve “been gotten rid of you.” His first act of the two of you becoming a couple, was a cute picture for his new wallpaper. It’d been a hassle to get because with every picture, one of you had a problem. The first time his roots were peaking through too much and he fussed at you for not telling him he needed a touch up. Then the one he liked you were blinking, and hed insisted you looked good anyways (or that he did). He’d recounted a time where he didn’t care about making memories, but it was different now. They made him who he was, and wanted to keep the memories of your growth. 

Its the nights before games that he spends with you doing self care (an act he used to pretend like he only did because you wanted to, before just begrudgingly admitting that he liked it too.) You’d gone to look for a specific face mask, before he admitted that he stole it and forgot to bring it back (when really he used it all up and was just waiting for you to buy another one so he could take that one too). When you rolled your eyes at him, he’d just brush it off a promise of returning it before opening his arms for you to return to your cuddle position. You were supposed to be watching a movie, but he’d pulled up old games of his future opponents and kept showing you interesting plays. One hand holding the phone, the other unconsciously rubbing circles onto your back. He asks if you’re paying attention to him and you admit that you aren’t at all and he sighs in over dramatic disappointment before locking the phone and focusing on you.  

Its the argument that almost led to your breakup that happened due to a miscommunication. You’d been out with friends, Atsumu already trying and failing to coax you into staying the night with him instead. All it had taken was a picture taken completely out of context for him to feel hurt. He really really liked you (borderline was ready to admit loving you)!and thought you’d at least felt a fraction of the same emotion towards him. That night he hadn’t thought through anything before sending the picture (snapped on who knows who’s phone) to you with a simple ‘I see how it is’. What made it even worse is that you hadn’t seen the picture right away. 

It’s how your heart dropped later that night when you were finally ready to head back to his, and your heart ached at how you called him several times only to be sent straight to voicemail. Your attempt at reaching his twin was lucky as he hadn’t even told him about what he thought had happened yet. Another strike of luck when Osamu believed you and ensured that this was a case of his brother acting first and thinking later. 

The makeup had been one both of relief and realization that the two of you needed to talk. It’s when you found out that he was in love with you and that he really did love hard. Just like with volleyball, he wasn’t sure what kind of dumb shit he’d be getting into if you weren’t there. Having to sit through the conversation was uncomfortable for him as he was often the one doing the scolding to others. However the difference was that you admitted that you could’ve handled it better as well (something he doesn’t do when he’s complaining about others).

Its the nights where he hits you up at 2am already outside begging you to just take a late night drive with you. He knows you can’t tell him no so he’s offering a smirk pushing the door open as you sleepily make your way in. His eyes soften at how cute you look (he’s definitely known to slip up and talk in a baby voice like this and yes you’ve blackmailed that ass when he annoys you). You tell him that you look like shit at the moment and he agrees before backtracking and still saying you look good. 

You end up at some late night drive through arguing about fries because “ya didn’t even wanna come out in the first place” and you both don’t need them. You could just share. The workers in the drive through literally have to tell y’all to hurry up to where he just glared at the faceless menu. You have to end up shouting over him the order that he still ends up complaining about. Even though you end up with the two different orders he eats all yours and every time you try and swat his hand away he exclaims that he bought them. 

Those nights you wake up pretty easily because he lowers the windows and turns up his throwbacks playlist pretty loud and sings terribly and just looks so happy. Beautiful Soul by Jesse McCartney comes on and he loves grabbing your hand at it while singing along. Those moments are a different kind of joy from when he’s playing volleyball. He’s not focused on a win or his team and how to celebrate. He’s living in the moment, happy and carefree and with his favorite person.

a/n: um yeah cant lie I do like the sakusa version better but here we go. another middle of the night ramble. 

[horde-princess]

How do you think Catra made peace with her role in Angella’s entrapment (or death, depending on how you interpret it, i’ve seen both)? When she’s speaking to Hordak, she seems quite proud of it- “It worked out for us, didn’t it? Their queen is gone, the rebellion’s a mess!” And following Catra joining the rebels, it isn’t really addressed, as I know you & others have lamented. I think your metas are extremely well-written & I was curious about your perspective on this. Do you think she was

(2/2) remorseful? How do you think she made peace w/ it after the fact? How do you think the others would go about forgiving her for it, if at all? (I’d imagine Glimmer would have the hardest time, but she’s also caused similar harm to Etheria, so maybe not? I believe that’s what allowed her to empathize most with Catra also.) I apologize if you’ve answered asks related to Angella before! Also, your religious metas have been extremely cathartic reads & I wanted to thank you for them!

--

thank YOU so much for reading them 😭💕 yeah the thing is there’s so little in canon to go off of so ill try to get that sorted first and go from there

thats an interesting quote to bring up from 4x01. part of me is like “noo she didnt mean it she just needed to sell her worth to hordak” and another part is like yeah it makes sense she’d be proud, the leader of their enemy was gone even if its not something she can really take credit for it was still a huge victory. but in my opinion it doesnt weigh for or against any conclusion since its pre-redemption so lets try looking at some other moments

there’s her confrontation about the portal with scorpia in the same episode, you could argue her extreme anger there and the way she forces herself to relax shows that she’s trying to shove down her guilt. then ofc she has that nightmare in 4x03, and afterward her anxious reaction when adora brings it up. this stuff is super consistent with the way catra’s character is written, like they never spell her feelings out you gotta dig a little deeper u know

also this is stretching honestly but its something ive been thinking about a lot???? in 5x07 when glimmer mentions her dad? why have catra jump off adoras lap after THAT particular line.. if not to associate her unease about returning to etheria with angella 🤔🤔 super curious what yall think about this

(side note, not canon per se but storyboard artist Mickey Quinn drew this picture of Catra saying “I’m sorry” to Angella during a livestream -- could just be her own thoughts but likely reflects general feelings of the crew!)

idr anything else in canon so yeah unfortunately the writers didnt want to address angella directly, but with these brief moments i think there WAS a deliberate intention for fans to kinda read between the lines and assume that catra’s guilt re: the portal also related specifically to angella. it took me forever to get over it lkdfjld im still not tbh

but as far as catra making peace with it, season 5 is proof enough that yeah she would take full responsibility and feel terrible about it, like next to hurting adora it would have to be her biggest regret... its not something she’d come to terms with on her own i think it would take everyone’s reassurance and thats part of the beauty of the show u know the theme of friendship and forgiveness 😌 but before that could happen personally i wouldve liked to see everyone have time to grieve and process and just be angry. but like i agree i think glimmer would logically understand why catra did it but the emotional process of forgiveness would be a much longer journey for her and itd be amazing to see their friendship deepen because of it.. also i dont think we talk about this enough but angella was like a mother to bow and adora as well!!! i think they’d be v protective/defensive of glimmer for a while and there’d be some interesting tension between the 4 of them..  thats in my perfect world like if the show had 10 seasons haha. heres a post that talks a little bit more about what i wouldve liked to see happen in canon

also self plug i wrote a fic about this actually where i explore some thoughts on how catra and others dealt with her role in angellas death if ur interested 😇 just bc i think it expresses my feelings better than anything else i could say

[catnippackets]

have you seen/would u recommend pacific rim 2? ive heard some things about newt and idk lol

I feel like Im in the minority that actually did think pru was fun but that being said it ended SO abruptly and with like three separate plotlines completely abandoned that I was really frustrated for days after watching it until I had processed everything and had time to think deeply about it lol it just seemed rly unfinished?? it feels like it was deliberately made as 1/2 of two sequels and there needs to be one more to tie everything up. actually I’m gonna ramble abt this bc I have a lot of thoughts (obvs spoilers under the cut)

the thing about the second one was that I genuinely was enjoying it right up until it ended because I swear to god the moment the end screen went up I yelled "what the fuck, that's it?" out loud into my bedroom bc I was so SHOCKED that THAT'S how it all ended, because it just seemed so incomplete?? Like it seemed like one half of a story, that will only be made whole if there's a third one to tie up all the plotlines that they didn't go through with in the second and if that's the case then I will be completely fine with it but if it doesn't or if they dont have a third one at all I will stay so frustrated lol. one silver lining to this is that the vibe of this movie was so different from the first that it almost feels easy to separate it and just imagine it as an AU if you prefer which is sort of nice; usually if a piece of media I like does something bad I feel all gutted and anxious and terrible that this is the canon I have to accept, but something abt this movie just made it feel like it was sort of a totally separate deal. maybe cuz only 3 of the original characters were in it idk

to start off: I felt like there were a couple of plotlines in it that were just sort of introduced and then never seen through which was very ????? Amara & Vik's weird hate-rivalry thing was one of them; Vik instantly has it out for Amara bc she’s jealous, which is a very interesting concept, and then this prompts Amara to become hostile right back at her, which is also a very interesting concept, and then it never got resolved at all? like they couldve done something really cool with those two but it just never went anywhere. and then there was sort of a weird love triangle thing happening between Jake and Nate and Jules that felt so weird bc it had no significance to the plot at all and it felt like it was only thrown in there for the sake of having ~romantic drama~ idk maybe I wasnt paying too much attention and there was more to it than that but it really just seemed like they wanted to put romance in there and didnt want to bother to put any work into it

BUT the thing about romantic sub plots is that THERE ALREADY WAAAAS OOOOOOOOONE which brings me to the biggest frustration I have w this movie because--and DISCLAIMER, this was also my favourite plot point of the movie bc it was by far the most interesting, the biggest reason for me enjoying the movie at all, and the bit I feel like should have had WAY more attention--Newt and Hermann were like legitimately in love in this movie I swear to god I was watching it and thinking “this is GENUINELY the most blatantly gay thing I’ve ever seen in a feature film and I know that straight ppl are very talented at writing gay romances completely by accident so it’s possible that they just accidentally did it this way but also it is REALLY goddamn obvious oh my gooood?” (and then I did a lot of frantic googling and found out that I was right and Charlie Day & Burn Gorman knew what the fuck they were doing and I felt so validated lol), and yet despite this, the movie had them speak for the last time almost at the halfway point of the film and then spend the entire second half apart and not talking at all and even at the post-credits scene where Jake and Newt talked for a bit Hermann wasn't there?? not even behind Jake to give Newt any searching glances?? Nothing??

dude...Newt being possessed by the precursors is a HUGELY interesting concept that actually makes sense and I wish it had had more attention. I’ve seen a lot of ppl say that pru butchered Newt’s character and I don’t 100% agree bc like...being possessed will change you lmao so while yes I’m obviously sad that he wasn’t himself, I feel like it made sense that he had a slight personality change, because it...wasn’t him anymore. we don’t really see the Newt we all fell in love with in the first movie. we THINK we’re seeing him, but halfway through we find out we’re wrong.

my critiques with that plotline are basically that I wish the reveal had happened a little bit later on, and I wish that it had been a little more obvious I guess?? like, we definitely get hints of it (when Hermann excitedly asks Newt to help him with a dangerous unorthodox project and Newt says “dude why are you doing something so risky when we’ve already got a good plan in motion? just wait for that to be done, it’s fine” and Hermann IS us, he IS the audience when he reacts, because this is a completely insane thing for Newt to say. Newt, who, in the first movie, was so obsessed with finding knowledge that he went behind the marshall’s back to literally risk his life doing something incredibly dangerous just to see what would happen? being given the opportunity to do the same kind of dangerous frivolous act and refusing? this is blatantly out of character, and Hermann is all of us when he’s shocked, “what, you mean you...won’t help me??” which means it wasn’t bad writing on their part, it was purposefully supposed to stand out as something that was wrong and something that we needed to pay attention to. that was a really good scene to hint that something was Not Right with Newt), and I wish there had been a bunch more like it. I think the reveal should have been saved for the end of the second act; I think that should have been the moment that act 2 of a story usually has, that dreadful event that happens that leaves the main characters feeling completely hopeless and unsure what to do.

I also wish that he had managed to break through more than That One Scene, I think it would’ve been more dramatic if he’d had a few moments where he managed to take control for a second to remind us that he’s still in there and still fighting, and I’m sad they didn’t do that. I saw a fan comic that touched on this idea and I think it’s brilliant, even the idea of him suddenly getting a nosebleed and acting distracted to show that that’s the Real Him trying to fight through would have been sooooooooo good.

I also feel like it didn’t make any sense for Nate to be the one to subdue him in the end, I dont even think those two interact at all so like, why was it him?? it would have been so much more dramatic and heartbreaking if Hermann had been the one to confront him so they could’ve had a little conversation on the roof where Newt could once again break through for a second before getting taken over and then Hermann could like idk have a taser hidden behind him that he uses to subdue him and THAT wouldve been a way sadder and more interesting way to do it. I also think Hermann shouldve been the one to speak to him in the post credits scene, or to have him in the background behind Jake just watching him sadly so we can get a couple shots of intense eye contact like UGH I just wish there had been more interaction between the two of them after the reveal happened!! When the movie was over and I realized they never spoke again I felt so upset!!! they're soulmates!! they're literally in love!! this has been CONFIRMED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and segueing in from the soulmate thing, another thing that made me sad was that nobody came in pairs anymore :( aside from Newt and Hermann, they were the only ones gjdfk but in the first one every character had another character that they were paired up with, both for drifting reasons and just for plot reasons (except Chau and Tendo but I’m pretty sure there's actually significance to that too), and in the second one it just sort of felt like everyone was drifting with each other with no strong connection needed and that made it feel way less special. granted, the movie takes place ten years after the first one so in that time maybe technology advanced to the point where you didn't need a strong neural connection to drift anymore, but for the sake of the story it would have been way better if they'd kept the whole soulmates concept from the first one, it made it way stronger and more special

so yeah in conclusion I did think pru was enjoyable and I probably would watch it again some time but also it definitely pales in comparison to the first one and I’m desperately hoping we get one more so they can tie everything together and FIX THINGS KFGH it’s not too late!!!!! I wish I could write Pacific Rim 3 I genuinely think I would do a good job I love storytelling and I’m very passionate about these characters!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[kekisu]

i know you said the dn author is a misogynist and while im not surprised at all you also said smthg abt light & matsuda in the response to the ask about it? i was just wondering what you meant by that (if u feel like answering) 😳 thank uuuu have a lovely day

WELL like. god help ive been staring at this for the past like 5 minutes wondering how to answer this carefully but like im just gonna dump it all on you ok. HUWADHUAHWHFEHU

ive already explained that dn as a whole is tainted with misogyny because the author himself ..is a violent misogynist HFUSHUAH and like that reflects on the characters hence why the female characters are written off to be unimportant or one dimensional compared to the male characters and rely heavily on male characters for “development” or its their whole personality even if they had tons of potential to be an amazing character. misa is a WONDERFUL example of this because she 100% couldve been  a much better character if she wasnt so fucking held back by her whole “light is my one and only” gimmick OR AT LEAST LIKE.. HE COULDVE MADE HER A BIT MORE INTERESTING TO MAKE UP FOR IT ? but. anyways

for matsuda im just gonna link this post once again HELP matsudas a bit more complicated than light cause it isnt as Out There and also i dont have the words for it

for light well.   thats the part i was really stuck on for this ask cause i feel like its REALLY out there and i was like Well how the hell do i explain something thats just out there in the open for all to see HWUEHRUHUSHUFCHA like. he uses women as pawns the entire time and i guess you could ague “he uses everyone” which is Yes true. but he very clearly views women as significantly lower than himself and regards them as disposable.. he literally has multiple instances in death note where he undermines female characters for simply being women and automatically assumes theyre weaker, like  for example with naomi. he thinks shes an easier target because shes “weaker” than him ...what evidence does he have to support that thought ? he doesnt know her EHRUFHSEADHA AND SHES AN FBI AGENT.. ?

also just  his whole fucking dynamic with misa ? WEHUREHFAHWU HE LITERALLY USES HER THROUGH THE ENTIRE SERIES.. YEAH THE DUDE DOESNT HAVE FEELINGS FOR HER BUT OH MY GOD THAT DOESNT MEAN ABUSING AND MANIPULATING AND CHEATING ON HER ARE AUTOMATICALLY OK ? may i also bring up how he uses takada and he just outright Says (or. thinks) some shit along the lines of “haha women are so easy” when hes manipulating her through the phone LIKE...I DONT KNOW MAN. SEEMS PRETTY FUCKING SEXIST TO ME

ALL THIS AND ALSO OHBA HIMSELF  MAKES MULTIPLE STATEMENTS ABOUT HOW HE VIEWS WOMEN AS INFERIOR? DFGKHKMBNVFHB hf svdjgfgvj sdhxs fdghghghsbfhdhbxa i dont know man<3 he seems pretty sexist. theres so much more i could bring up but like..help do i even have to

i dont know if this is contradictory but im almost 100% certain light isnt as sexist as people make him out to be tho . Yes i just brought up a million points where light is indeed a filthy misogynist but also Keep in mind ohba himself is misogynistic and this is reflected in his work as a result. its very obvious hes projecting somewhat but even though this can be recognized as ohba’s flaws  i still think its important to recognize that its all reflected onto light in ways that are..inseparable from his character and if you took away these aspects he would be nearly incomprehensible and you wouldve just rewrote death note as a whole HUEGHRBUDHGRUSHWA

its still completely ok to enjoy matsuda and light because theyre both really entertaining and interesting characters And unfortunately relatable in other aspects (i say as i kin light </3) but please be aware of these flaws when talking about them.

also like im sorry for no actual mangacaps or shit like that i dont have the manga. im going off memory and also factchecking with like 5 other people who know more than i do But im pretty sure you could just look this up yourself im not a professional HELP

[rosekasa]

(1 ) So, there was this person who I asked to beta a story and they said no. I'm not sad because of that, because come on, betas have the right to say no (anyone does) but it was the fact that I learnt that they didn't want to beta read it because it the characters were too OOC. I get it, people have the right to express their own opinions on other people's fics but... problem was they didn't tell me that. Rather they shook me off in a very polite manner which is ok, right? But today I found out

:( im so sorry that happened to you anon, i can imagine that mustve hurt a lot. i and im sure anybody else wouldve been hurt too

we cant control what others think of us nor what they say about us to their friends but we can control what we think of ourselves. you should have confidence in the fact you are the only person who truly knows who you are and other people's opinions of you are nothing other than their few experiences with one part of you. what someone else thinks about you says less about who you are and more about who they are and their opinions and their experiences -- the only person's judgement of you that has validity is your own. everyone else only knows a small fraction of who you are (obviously if you make a mistake you should try and fix it where you can but i think that goes without saying)

im really sorry you had to see that chat :( being talked behind your back is Awful and i can imagine how upsetting it must feel. but pls remember that isnt an accurate depiction of who you are! like, people on the internet who've never met you are calling u a weirdo... based on what? 0.02% of what they've seen of you?

@ the ooc characters: *holds ur shoulders* listen. u are the writer. all that matters is the characterisations work for u. it doesnt have to be good enough for other people -- it just has to he good enough to make u happy. no matter what there will always be one person who disagrees with the way you write those characters. it is impossible to please everyone by following what everyone else's views of 'in character' are, so just focus on pleasing yourself! fics are for fun and for exploring your writing and doing what makes you happy. if your heart feels warm while thinking about the stuff you want to write, that's all that matters. you arent publishing a novel and claiming to be the next charles dickens. you are a fan of a cartoon posting fic on ao3. u owe nothing to no one ! youre just having fun and if people decide to take it too seriously that's their problem

i can name like. a bunch of my fics that could be considered 'ooc' (by others' standards), poorly written, or have typos i caught after posting and didnt bother to correct. fic writing is for fun and i know my works are not perfect. but i post them because 'eh maybe someone else might get something out of it too'

im sorry you had to go through that anon :( and i hope you feel better soon

[b1nightwing]

last post with thoughts on the 2nd tfatws ep

the bad vibes one gets knowing the fun upbeat music is meant for some imposter and not for sam

the bad vibes bucky gave when confronting sam about the shield. a hello how r u would be nice

karli morgenthau?????  she beat his ass. would love to have her signature

meet-cute angel!sam/dumbass!bucky (who was about to die but sam for some reason fell in love with him and saved him) au

imposter cap? he... he looks like he enjoys those evil boys will be boys jokes. laughs at “my wife is so ugly, dont get married” jokes

sam and the kids? the kid really knew how to do that eyeroll like his whole body eyerolled. for a few seconds screen time he got the kid was really impactful

so ok. bucky appeared in front of isaiah. knowing that isaiah knew him only as the evil nazi winter soldier. bucky knew where he was living and also i believe, based on bucky targeting the ppl he helped out to get where they r now when he was evil nazi winter soldier to get them arrested, i do not think he didn’t know what happened to isaiah.

the way isaiah described bucky. many ppl went after the ws and non of them came back. now imagine a isaiah, in the army in the 50s as black man, sent after him. isaiah seems to be also stronger than bucky since he got back alive and even ripped his arm out. he was the first to come back but i cant get over how non of them (the ones before isaiah) were supposed to stop bucky but they were test subjects from the start and bucky was the final boss. they did not care if bucky was dead or alive, they just wanted to see who can survive ws.

back to bucky appearing in front of his house. imagine seeing the devil in front of you. i wouldve tried to claw his eyes out. hearing that the devil gets to live a better life and has the fucking privilege to go to therapy?? i do not understand where buckys confidence was to just appear in front of isaiah like why couldnt he just sent sam there alone? the fucking audacity of that man. also isaiah is an old man and bucky really had to come in there and destroy everything isaiah created to get piece.

“give them your id so we can leave” bucky bitch. it was not 2 pairs of eyes on sam, at that moment it was 3 pairs including bucky like bitch?????? what r u looking at sam for?!??!? he even said he had no id!!!!!!!!

the therapy scene?!?!?!??! everything was fine until bucky started crying like !??!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we live in a society!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DID NOT EVEN CONSIDER TO ASK SAM HEY WHY DID U GIVE THE SHIELD UP!!!!!!!!!!!! BRICKHEAD DIDNT EVEN ASK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! does not even want to understand why he gave that shield up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“-and never see each other again.” good for sam

rule 2 ???? well bitch. u just hurt your friend!!!!!! u messed rule 2 up!!!!!!!!! his feelings?!?!?!?!?! in pain!!!!!!!!!! bc u r a little asshole!!!!!!!!!!

imposter cap and sidekick.... they laughed at a bad ‘‘why r women so clingy’‘ joke before seeing sambucky

zemo???? cant wait for him to give me more drama

and for the finish?? batwoman had better writing. at least ryan said she doesnt trust cops while sams writings is like... the cop scene. most of the shots including sam were him + bucky shots. the audience had the opportunity to feel more at ease bc sam isnt centered and bucky is always in the shot which makes it look like they r both targeted when not listening to the dialogue. only at the end when the cop was like oh we didnt recognize u without the goggles u could see something was off but not enough bc bucky was still there looking also distressed but more bc it was dramatic rather than this couldve been a life or death situation if not handled properly.

also bucky was the one getting arrested and the audience could concentrate on that instead of the fucking racist cops

[boybandsim]

leafeana replied to your post: 

WAIT i was just scrolling through your blog cause im hungry for content and saw this again and realized you asked what version i was playing? which i dont remember answering whoops

im playing it on pc! which is great bc then i get to mess around with mods (like the one that gives cindy some real clothing lol) but its also got its downsides since my computer is definitely not a gaming computer, which means graphics take a serious hit and lagging isnt uncommon

im...not sure if its royal edition?? I think windows edition has all the features of royal edition, although im not completely sure. I think luna has a cutscene in Insomnia thats only in royal edition, so once im there ill be able to tell. technically im in Insomnia now but ive time traveled back and it might be a while before i push on to the finale. after dealing with Altissia --> the start of Insomnia linearly i wanted some time to chill with the bros and pretend

everything is fine for a while. it has been a WILD ride for sure and yeah I haven't even started up any of the dlc yet! theres so much content!! ive been practicing playing as the other bros during medium-hard combat which has kept it feeling really fresh too. also its hilarious just blasting bad guys with a bazooka while the other people are in there swinging around swords and knives. and i haven't done any of the crossover quests yet, which seem big and exciting!

ill be forever sad that i missed the assassins festival but theres definitely plenty to do that I'm excited for. and im getting really into the fishing!! charmed is definitely the right word like..its not perfect at all but this game is so genuinely endearing with its characters personalites and development and its themes and music as well and it really does some things SO well.

god okay this is a lot of words. sorry for rambling and for the late reply! no one i know plays this game or has much interest in it so youre getting all my bottled up enthusiasm

PLEASE DO NOT EVER APOLOGISE FOR RAMBLING SEND ME AS MUCH AS I LOVE WORDS AND THOUGHTS AND TALKING ABOUT FFXV DUDE <3333 also literally no worries about late replies or replying at all im forever shit at them myself i get it bro nw nw nw

hell yeah pc is royal edition with a bunch of other shit and the dlcs (bar ardyn) incorporated, dont worry, also i would die for that one cindy in a decent outfit mod i know the exact one youre on about LOL (also i can recommend you some other mods if u like!!)

if i can share some knowledge with you right quick cuz i had the same problem and wouldve died to have someone tell me i went from barely 20fps on a good day to being able to run multiple programs with ffxv in the background; specialk is a very quick install and majorly helped with multithreading; otherwise for the in game options are using low resolution texture pack (assets option); shadows look near visually identical on the lowest option compared to the highest; all nvidia effects can be turned off with no significant graphic change; turning off anti aliasing entirely genuinely makes the game look better for me; i can post my full settings if itll help you and ive also read through a few tutorials for modding around lag so i can try and help you with that, i do get pretty major lag spikes though and frequently find it near impossible to stream/record, but i manage to nail that 60fps on average if im solely running ffxv with a few cut corners like those

also dont blame you with altissia, ngl i boiled through the story rollercoaster right quick after exploring most of the open world before even touching altissia and ended up ignoring all postgame content for starting a new save immediately and replaying just to get that hangout time in the open world that wasnt just go-back-in-time-through-magic-dog. but i feel you so hard dude i just want more of them chilling. literally i have 300 hours in this game already and i know half of those have been using the car listening to tunes LMFAO

yeah the crossover quests are funnn the one with terra wars is sweet and the ffxiv one is SO funny its literally hysterical i was roaring with laughter a couple times!!! and good on you practising i didnt touch any of the extended combat until my third save and yeah honestly if you want to do the postgame menaces those skillsll come in useful, its funny because the maingame bosses arent that hard but the postgame is mental. but yeah i love blowing shit up with proms bazooka it fucking rules nerds can keep their swords

ALSO SAME... i wanna play the promptis date so bad!! i wanna play episode duscae so bad!!! wanna play the platinum demo with baby noctis so bad!! knowing theyll never be ported kills meeeeee. sad & upset but as you say theres so much to do and the dlc honestly offer so much im still finding shit i havent done and ive spent a year playing already

honestly so much of this game for me is literally just booting it to go hang with the guys its really relaxing lmfaooo... hiking around with these goofy dudes. sometimes i just wanna chill with the anime boys. YEAH literally its sweet and charming and then fucking heartbreaking and even though the writing is hammy as hell im honestly so willing to forgive it. not only for the clear amount of care and love that went into specifically building the guys relationship (which anyone knows is the best and most realised part of the game) but the details and amount of lore you can uncover if you take a step and interpret a little. maybe thats too generous a statement for what was an executive nightmare and critically underdeveloped but i grew up on ffxiii and knowing the versus 13 lore and that ffxv was part of that extended canon im satisfied with it being another side to that story and running with that. i think supplemented with its additional content years after release ffxv isnt a complete experience but enough of one to leave an impact or at least it did majorly for me! ive been obsessed.

OMG sorry im nerding too its all good lol just genuinely i love this game and its hard to find people talking about it these days but i really had such a good time and still am continuing to and i love it fuck it ball hard

real shit though it has the best fishing minigame of all time hands down nothing has come close fuck the haters

[indigopurple]

Basically a review of OP episode 503 ig

Currently rewatching post-war arc (in the dub so I don't have any screenshots for u guys sry) and theres a few things id like to point out.

During a conversation Dadan once had with Garp, they were talking about Roger. Garp said that even if they were facing powerful enemies, he would never run away because he wouldnt dare leaving his comrads behind; it wasnt an option for him. Obviously we see this in Ace. But ALSO, isnt this what he did with Katakuri? It was a little different cuz of the setting mostly, but he separated himself from his crew to fight off katakuri, and lied to them about being okay so they didn't worry (he was already getting his ass kicked by then, so he just made that stupid smile and told them not to worry (or smth like that, I can remember the exact line) (that smile was so gross and fake cuz he fucking sucks at lying). Also he said roger destroyed a buncha soldiers cuz they mouthed off his men. That's what Ace tried to do but instead he died. :(

"The pain he went through just made him hold on tighter to the ones he loved" -Garp, about Roger. "Despite his flaws and his bad reputation, his crew still trusted him completely." -also Garp, about Roger. These both sound a lot like Luffy AND Ace.

When Dogra got home and told everyone about Sabo's ship being shit down and him dying (which we all know didnt happen, thank fuck), (by the way the absolutely lost looks on Ace's and Luffy's faces with the sudden silence hurt like a bitch), Luffy started crying and said "WE SHOULDNT'A LET HIM GO, IT'S ALL OUR FAULT". Which fucking says something about him (thinking of episodes 913-915 when he goes fucking berserk, but before that he learns that Kaido probably killed Tama and he says "I should've escorted them..!" (*ugly cries*)). Ace also reacted pretty similarly-- "Sabo...why didn't we go back into town and bring him back here?! We're so stupid!" And he gets mad and asks where he could find the bastard that killed him (obviously not getting a good answer since it was a fucking celestial dragon ugh). That is what Luffy does, in present time. He results to anger first, not sadness. Not sure when he learned to do that but I'm 99 percent sure it was from Ace. Also the blaming himself thing? High chance thats ALSO from Ace. Who else would teach him that self hating behaviour?!

Dadan pins Ace down to stop him from going after the Celestial Dragon to calm him down, telling him he cant do anything, he's not big or strong enough to do anything and he'll be killed as soon as he tries anything, especially since it was the whole country -the whole WORLD- that killed Sabo. He can't do anything. And then they tied him to a tree outside to let him cool off. Oh yeah then he also told luffy to stop crying like a little girl or else he'll- (and he didn't finish the sentence). ...Ok maybe thats why luffy started being more angry than sad.

This is where things get a little more :( . Ace reads the letter Sabo sent them before he died. As he reads, he walks to the end of the forest, to a cliff overlooking the ocean. And starts fucking bawling (btw the voice actor who had Ace's childhood part did not do a very good job, no where near as in character and real as Coleen Clickenberg did with all of Luffy's crying scenes. She was spot on.) ...do you see where im going with that? He isolated himself before letting himself feel sad. It was all rage and then calm beforehand. Y-you see where im going with that. Dont make me say it.

"How's Luffy doing, is he any better?" "Well...he hasnt been eating much, but he still eats twice as much as we do". Oh look, That's what happened after Ace died too. There's a behavioral pattern that hasnt gone away. Not sure why it wouldve tho.

Luffy is mopeing, lying on the ground in a similar setting ace was at when he cried. Hes thinking about some of the things Sabo said, like how theyre gonna sail the seas together, and he clenches his hands into tight, shaking fists. After Ace shows up and hits him, and talking abt some other stuff I don't feel like relaying, Luffy tightens his grip on the straw hat and tells ace, whimpering, he wants to get stronger (and stronger, and stronger, and stronger and stronger and....) And he wants to be the strongest in the world. "And then, I'll protect everyone. I won't lose anyone I care about". He gets stronger mainly to protect the people he loves. And then he asks ace to promise he won't die. To which he hits Luffy again and tells him he should be more worried about himself dying first. And then the famous line that hurts like a bitch- "I'm NEVER going to DIE!" And then this hopeful music comes on (fucking damnit funimation, u gotta do this? Really??) Also he says he wont die as long as he has a wussy little brother to protect. ...FUCK. Ok, the fist clenching is a thing he does all the fucking time, usually when he gets mad. This was different because he wasnt mad, he was sad. He clenched his fist because thinking about it hurt. Which, huh, sounds a lot like his whole episode after waking up from his 2 week coma on the polar tang. To try and stop the mental pain of those horrendous memories, he resulted to physically pain. He hurt himself. So, He clenches his fists in times like these to fight off the mental pain and the urge to cause himself physical pain. Guys, our boy is bad at emotions, help him. ....ok this paragraph is longer than I anticipated so ill dumb down the rest of it ig. Next part, him asking ace to promise he wont die. The music, the body language, the over change in mood- this comforts him. He stopped hiding his face and silently sobbing after ace said this. OH YEAH! didn't he tell jinbe not to die when they parted ways in Totto Land? And then, hes missing still in Wano and we see Luffy is worried....but convinced Jinbe will show up. Again, this comforts him. Hes nervous cuz someone KOFF KOFF ACE broke that promise once. But jinbe is his crew mate so he trusts him, thank god.

"-But whoever did it, they must be opposed to freedom." The whole freedom thing? That runs through Luffy's blood and spirit.His brothers fought for it, his dad is the man who strives to give everyone freedom basically, and Luffy himself has seen enough of the OPPOSITE of freedom to be so, so much more than just against it. Hence why he of course was so eager to free the slaves in Sabaody, the kids in punk hazard, the toys in dressrosa, the country of Wano from Kaido's tyrany. The apple doesnt fall far from the tree huh.

I dont think Luffy would remember his promise with Shanks if it werent for his brothers putting feul to his dream. It was a stupid bet at first; he just wanted to beat Shanks, right then. But after meeting Sabo and Ace, he found the opposite of freedom and human rights. And then he wanted, REALLY wanted, to become the free-est man in the world; the pirate king.

Last one i promise ok? This one is less connected to whats going on in the episode at this point, but something I noticed (its so obvious everyone has seen this ok) was when luffy cries, his posture is always open. He doesn't curl in on himself like many people would do (I know I would, lol). He doesnt hug himself, protect himself. He's just, opened up to whoever is watching, literally. This has a little more to do with something I haven't talked about much in this post yet; his self-destruction issues. I said he tried to hurt himself when he felt mental pain, which is definitely similar. But he cries and doesnt try to protect or comfort himself, like he doesn't have that programmed into his mind. Reminder that he only wants to live because of his dream, and if he doesnt have his dream, he wants to die. (Whoa.). Ok, so no self preservation mechanism at all rlly. Hes basically ride or die. So, when things hurt so much that he cries, he has no hope left. He just kinda...dies inside. So this was mildly different after sabo died. Yes we saw him just standing there, sobbing. But the next day he's still crying, and instead he's laying on the ground. I saw that and the voice in the back of my head told me he wanted to be a part of that lifeless dirt beneath him. Then, Ace walked over. And his words made him feel the hope that I told you about earlier, and he sat up into a sitting position. And HUGGED HIS LEGS TO HIS CHEST. There's some self preservation! Some hope! Some will to exist, to live! Something we saw none of as he sat in front of his brothers corpse, shutting down. He sat there, open to his enemies, incapable of protecting himself. Practically anyone couldve killed him right then and there. I think he mightve liked that, at that moment. Like thank god he has that stupidly good luck cuz if he didn't I swear someone couldve thrown and axe or FUCKING ANYTHING AT THAT MOMENT and hed be dead becuase he never physically or mentally prepared himself. On purpose.

Our poor boy needs some fucking attention and therapists. (Insert my rant post about how jinbe is on the crew primarily for anger management and therapy, not just being a helmsman.) Ugh, smh ugly cries

Aaaaand thats about the end of the episode. Theres so many little tics and peesonality traits that you notive thru this episode, and I only noticed them cuz im rewatching this part of the show for like the third time. I don't react as much as the first time of course but some things are definitely sadder after knowing what's going on and what will happen later on.

Moral of the story (post)? I think luffy is almost equally as alike -if not, more similar to roger as ace is. Also, high key genuinely think Luffy met like NO ONE but Garp before he met Shanks and his crew. What the fuck was his first like 5 years of being alive like? (He wantd to be a pirate cuz Garp didnt want that. Rebellious baby asshole. And then shanks made things worse, in a good way for luffy. And then ace and sabo made that worse thing worse for a good reason. Luffy lives...for those influences. And that is fucking it. Why.

Oh thanks tumblr for moving my picture to the bottom of the post u fucking idiot

[whispedcream]

i wrote my first fanfic for the first time in like three years

i was just thinking about wht wouldve happened if i drove my car into the world of askr and accidentally hit a man u know

posted it under keep reading and ao3

I’m driving, that’s it. Going about 60 mph on a 55 mph maximum highway, just trying to get to school. Minding my own business, working for my degree, listening to Vocaloid covers. The gay Vocaloid covers only; this is a gay rights car.

With the sun attempting to blind me, I readjusted my red Aliexpress heart shaped sunglasses to fight off the glare. Only about sixteen more minutes until I reach campus and start my day with my eight in the godawful morning class. Sociology is a really fun topic so there is at least motivation in waking up at six. Maybe the professor will bring his dog again.

There’s this giant wall of light that suddenly bursts into existence. I switch lanes to hopefully avoid it. The light only follows me in retaliation. It’s hard to tell if I’m driving towards the light or if the light is coming at me. My heart stops nothingless as panic seeps into my gut.

Was I expecting to drive into a void of bright light? No. Am I prepared for what awaits me on the other side? Also no, but I’m already pumping the breaks despite the fruitlessness of the situation.

Everything is happening way too fast for my liking, the transition is a blur. My car now slides through the giant wall of light and I lose sight of the highway. No potholes, no more trees, everything is tinged red because my sunglasses are red. I keep my grip on the steering wheel for the feeling of safety. Wherever I’m dropped off I would at least like to not spin out of control. Am I going to be dumped off somewhere? Where am I going? I press on the gas pedal but nothing seems to change with how fast the light is moving around me. The speedometer tells me I’m now going about 70 mph. Everything is bright and glaring and now I feel nausea.

The weight of the situation starts to get to me. All I can do is sit here in my car and hope for the best. Everything is quiet except for the sound of the only good english cover of Magnet by Lollia and Lizz Robert. With the world deciding to test my luck this quickly changes as my car also becomes a light show. I am trying my best to not freak out right now as my poor car does that already for me. Lights are flickering on and off, the engine is making weird noises that I do not appreciate, and my phone is making noises similar to a garbage disposal. The steering wheel becomes my lifeline.

There’s now a different color coming at me in this bright scary void of light. Wishful thinking or not maybe I will end up back on the highway. With nothing else to do I simply drive on and pass through this supposed exit. As of now the speedometer is telling me I’m going around 75 mph.

——

Trees grace my vision once more, but there is still no highway. There are however people on this not-highway. If I could throw up my heart at this point I absolutely would without hesitation. My hands are cramping with how hard I’m gripping the steering wheel. It’s incredibly painful and I will be feeling this tomorrow for sure. A red lady in white dives out of the path of destruction my car is soon to create. Everything is happening too fast, but all I care about is not swerving and flipping the car over a rock. My car flashes and beeps as it tries to warn me about pressing on the breaks too harshly on this rough terrain. There’s another group of people in front of me so I honk at them. They seemingly yell at me in response to my warning, I think. My music is back on and blaring so it is really hard to tell while I’m trying to focus on five different problems at once. I am trying really hard to not hit anybody and there’s only like four people around me. Under normal circumstances this wouldn’t be difficult. I am at the point of the five stages of grief, acceptance, in that this is not normal circumstances. These men in strange uniforms are running at me with weapons? Swords, axes, and spears oh jeez.

On the verge of tears I honk the horn again while trying to drive my car away from the civilians, but they’re relentless in their pursuit. I never would have dreamed that I would hit someone full force with my car while listening to Hollaback Girl by Gwen Stefani. First time for everything I suppose. The man I just made contact with was, for a quick second, close enough to my face disregarding the windshield. His scream of agony was muffled by the glass and blaring music, but it was still loud enough that I can’t really choose to ignore it. The force of the impact sends him tumbling and flying over my car. I jolt as I hear the ‘shnk’ of this man’s axe hitting the roof above me. The mirrors show me his colleagues running for him, as this probably dead man lies on the floor motionless in a crumpled heap.

“Oh my god,” is all I can say as I finally bring my car to a stop about twenty yards away from the accident. At first I considered driving off to avoid any lawsuit. Pausing to look at the attire of the men who tried to attack my car with swords; I now have my doubts that lawsuits exist wherever this place is. It’s definitely not New York, or Kansas. I don’t know what Kansas looks like. It probably isn’t whatever this is.

I am a stupid person at times due to how much I care about stupid things. I shift the gear into park, but leave the engine on for safety. My hands are still shaking as I press the unlock button on the door to allow me to exit the car. I want to know if this man I hit going above the New York state speed limit was still alive.

Now that I’m at a normal speed for humans I can finally get a good look at my surroundings. It’s all very green, with a lot of trees, dirt, and hills. Everything I hate with a passion as a self proclaimed city kid. “Where the fuck am I?” I ask to no one as I run my hands through my hair in an anxiety filled tick. I squint at the group of men huddled around their probably dead friend. I can’t see shit but I don’t plan on making any effort on getting closer.

Upon seeing me get out of my car, the friends of the probably dead man start to yell obscene things in my direction. My eyes still sting from the tears I’m trying to suppress. With a nod of my head I purse my lips as I reenter my car and lock the doors with the push of the same button. The axe is still embedded in the roof and I can now clearly see the slightest hint of the blade. I continue to nod my head as I see the men run towards me. I shift the gear into drive and do a u-turn, I think. There isn’t exactly a road or anything to make a u-turn on. It is easy enough to drive past the men at a reasonable distance. They all stumble as they change direction to run at me again from behind this time.

The plan was to keep on driving, but now I find myself in the same position of slamming the breaks again as the first person I saw through the portal runs at my car. I was this close in deciding to hit her as well like I did the last guy. This time on purpose. What stops me from doing so is that her weapon is sheathed and her arms are in the air waving frantically. I hear her screaming at the top of her lungs for me to stop and wait. Against my better judgement I stop the car in front of her. She’s heaving for air as she rests her hands on the hood of the car, looking at me with bright red eyes. Her outfit looks disheveled from the fall she took trying to avoid getting hit by a MINI Cooper. The stranger’s white and gold uniform was now covered in grass and dirt stains. I am actively choosing to ignore the red stains since I don’t see any visible cuts on her skin.

“Please,” her voice is still out of breath, “Oh Great Hero from another world! Please do not run away from me, for I am your ally!” Her words come out in a rush of air as she tries to focus her gaze on me and the group of men steadily making way towards us. I can see her hands flex as she tries to grip the hood of the car, as if she could keep me from moving by holding on tight enough. I must look as confused as I feel because I can slowly see the panic seep into her face. She stumbles for a little bit with her words as if she forgot the speech she had just made up on the spot. “Great Hero would you grace me with your kindness to allow me to explain the situation at hand? I have been waiting for thou to arrive to fulfill the role in our country’s legends! Our country is at the brink of ruin, and thou. . . And thou. . .” Her focus is now strictly on the men coming towards us as if trying to calculate how much time she had left before their onslaught. She slams her gloved hands on the roof of my car, which is rather rude. Her eyes scream with desperation and I am just made more uncomfortable. “If thou can do me the great favor of letting me into your ugh. . . Transportation device. . . I can defend you from the ruffians coming to slaughter us both!”

There is no point in pretending to consider my options since I have none, so I unlock the door. The strange red haired lady continues to stand there dumbfounded, probably waiting for a response she could understand. I make an effort to quickly open the passenger seat’s door for her to get the point across that I was letting her in. She lets out a breath of relief before quickly hopping into my car and slamming the door shut, which is once again rude. I push the lock button on the car as I stare at her once again. Her eyes really are red and are not brown like mine. I thought it was a trick of the lights of the bright sun outside. Normally I would ask if she was wearing contacts, but I don’t think she would know what that word meant.

She looks at me with the same level of confusion I am feeling in my soul. I do dress rather flamboyantly for a ‘Great Hero’. Today is one of my more casual days as well. I’m only wearing a button up print shirt with a pattern of flamingos on skateboards wearing snapbacks, with polka dot shorts, and black hightop Vans. Along with my totally cool sunglasses. The culture clash is uncanny and kind of funny.

I can see her starting to panic again as we sat there in silence for a couple of seconds. She breaks first, “Why are we not moving! Does your companion not like me?” fidgeting in her seat she begins to look around the interior of my car.

“You mean my car?” Now I’m just messing with her to calm myself down. “You didn’t put your seatbelt on, I’m not moving until you do.” Now I’m not joking, road safety is important. I look behind us to see the men getting even closer. They sure were taking their time, but maybe I drove a lot farther than I thought.

She points at my own seatbelt for clarification, so I nod in response. My phone’s speakers start to blare out Oh No! by Marina as the strange lady begins to struggle with her seatbelt. The seatbelt is doing that annoying thing where it gets stuck when you tug too hard. It was on the second harsh tug I decided to lean over and buckle the lady in myself. Now I can drive with less worry. If I’m being honest to myself it doesn’t decrease my worry all that much, just by a smidge.

The enemy is finally upon us when I finally decide it’s time to move, soon enough they become ants again. My newfound companion only stares at me in silence. She is probably trying to figure out what to say and I don’t know if my silence is helping or worrying her further. Five minutes pass before she finally speaks up again, “Thank you Great Hero and Car for helping me escape those ruffians! I owe the both of you my eternal gratitude.”

Her words are stiff and formal as if she’s testing out the water for bloodthirsty sharks. I can only nod before laughing in a lame attempt to brighten up the mood, “My car is not sentient, but it was no problem. I’m just glad to as far away from that. . . predicament as possible.” I start to slow the car down to around 20 mph upon deciding that we were far enough from our shared enemy. Mostly to avoid roughing up the tires on the terrain considering that there is no highway or road to drive on. This also allows me to be able to look at the stranger in my passenger seat with more proper attention.

She waves her hand vaguely at my iPhone 8, “Isn’t this. . . Is this not Car’s voice?” referring to the music. I’m glad that Cupcakke isn’t playing right now, since I have Spotify on shuffle. “Also, no offence, but you don’t really look like a thee-and-thou type. Nor do you talk like one.”

I laugh again which causes the stranger to visibly relax her shoulders a bit. “No this is not the car’s voice. Consider it to be like a recording of a famous singer that I’m able to replay whenever I want. Both my phone and car are machines with no souls or minds.”

The stranger nods along to my words as if she understands what I’m saying before continuing, “Excuse my rudeness for not asking sooner, but what is your name Great Hero?”

I wave off her apology since it isn’t really a big deal. We were both just in a near death experience after all. I turn my head slightly towards her, while keeping my eyes on the road, to show her that she has my attention. “My name is Castus, and you are?”

“My name is Anna and I am the leading commander of the Order of Heroes! Please allow me to start from the beginning as to why we’re both in this ‘car’ right now!”

I nod in response to be kind. In reality I’m thinking about kissing my future psychology degree goodbye. All this talk about Great Heroes, who the fuck knows how long I’ll be here. Or if I’m going home ever. Anna begins her tangent on the lore of Askr and I glance down at the clock on the dashboard. It’s only seven forty-five; god what a world.