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recentanimenews · 5 years

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THE GREAT CRUNCHYROLL NARUTO REWATCH Unleashes Sakura With Episodes 29-35

Welcome to THE GREAT CRUNCHYROLL NARUTO REWATCH! I'm Daniel Dockery aka That Dude That Won't Shut Up About One Piece, and I'll be your host this week as we make our way through all 220 episodes of the original Naruto. Last week, we covered episodes 22-28, and we continue this week with episodes 29-35.

This week, the theme is Naruto Minus Naruto, as we lose our title character pretty early on. But despite missing someone shouting about how they're gonna be Hokage one day, this actually seemed to work out pretty well, as it gave our favorite boy Rock Lee and the consistently underrated Sakura a time to shine. Sasuke did some stuff, too, I guess. We also got some bad guy reveals and Gaara being as Gaara as possible. So let's dive right in and let the Crunchyroll Features team give you their thoughts on a batch of episodes that didn't have an ounce of quit in them.

So, not a lot of Naruto in this set of episodes, huh? I mean, we've already gotten to know Sasuke, Sakura, Rock Lee, etc. pretty well so far, so it's not like they can't carry the story, but how do you like the show when the title character spends most of it unconscious?

Paul: I'm fine with it as long as the supporting characters have plenty of interesting things to do. Naruto's personal blend of lunk-headed enthusiasm hasn't really clicked with me yet, so I'm happy to see other characters take center stage now and then, and I like that Sakura finally got a moment to prove her mettle in these episodes.

Peter: This was probably Sakura's biggest moment in Naruto... possibly including Shippuden. I forgot they combined her special haircut scene with the Ino flashback. The whole situation with the sound ninja was kind of a cluster but I felt like that sequence was particularly well-done. Episode 30 is easily the best in the series so far, I forgot how well directed the moment where Sakura realizes she's alone is.

Danni: I've joked in my livetweets that I can't tell whether the main character of this show is Naruto or Sasuke yet, but that kind of became not a joke at all this time around, didn't it? That was kind of a shame, given that his material at the very beginning of this batch where he's chiding Sasuke is great. Luckily, the rest of the cast was great all around in this batch.

Noelle: It is pretty funny to have the protagonist absent, but it's clearly not just wasting time. A lot of stuff happens while Naruto is out cold, especially the big fight where Sakura shines, and she needed to shine! A protagonist doesn't have to be there all the time, even if they are carrying the story, and these segments are proof of that.

Jared: Having Naruto out for most of the episodes really made some other characters step up and gave them a time to shine like Sakura (finally) and Ino's group. You couldn't get away with having him be gone or KO'd all the time, but especially when the show just brought forth all these new characters, it worked.

Kevin: It actually helped to up the stakes a bit and create space for more character development. Sakura hasn't needed to do much until now, since Sasuke and Naruto could fight instead. In this set of episodes, the boys were unconscious the majority of the time, so not only did she need to push herself to look after them, but she also needed to fight opponents that even seasoned Genin like Lee couldn't stand up against. Running or hiding weren't options.

Carolyn: THIS is the Sakura I remembered and have been missing this whole time. I am fine with Naruto sitting out a spell so Sakura can rise.

David: While I like that the other characters are getting the spotlight, I'm also not a huge fan of how they're getting it. Lee? He's allowed to be cool for a little bit, but still has to be undermined by his limitations that also define his character. Sakura? We have to square getting her development with her entire character revolving around Sasuke. Oh, and Sasuke? Got cool powers from the new bad guy, so the whole thing feels a little artificial by the end.

Joseph: It kind of makes it seem like they just didn't know what to do with Naruto while other people have the spotlight, because knowing his character he would have to butt in no matter what, dattebayo! If it paves the way for more episodes like 30, which features out of this world choreography and animation, I'm all for it, dattebayo.

Kara: I'm a Doctor Who fan - having the lead unconscious or straight-up missing for major portions of story is familiar territory. That said, I'm glad it was used to good effect here. I was hesitant coming into the Chunin Exam arc because there are Just So Many Characters, and a lot of them are completely new but clearly important. Giving Nart some down time while we get to know how they work (and how characters we've seen before are growing) was a good idea.

These episodes are sort of bookended by two horrific reveals:

1) IT WAS ME, OROCHIMARU, THE WHOLE TIME

2)WTF, GAARA

How do you feel about these two? I've been playing a lot of Gaara in Jump Force, but I forgot that he pretty much opens his character arc in the show through intense murder.

Paul: I mentioned this on Twitter before, but although Orochimaru is clearly coded to be this big, scary, impressive villain, he strikes me as the ninja equivalent of that bad friend whom everybody kinda knows but nobody particularly likes. Orochimaru's the kind of guy who would get a little too drunk at the holiday ninja party, and then he'd awkwardly hit on your ninja girlfriend, and then he'd puke on your ninja couch cushion and then flip it over to hide the ninja vomit rather than tell you about it. Damn it, Orochimaru!

Gaara is just a comical murder-baby so far. Again, I know he's supposed to be frightening, but I just think he's a precious little sandy cinnamon roll.

Peter: Given what Orochimaru's done so far, I'm actually curious if Kishimoto had a plan for him at this point. One of this lines in particular speaking with Anko is hilarious in retrospect. I have a new appreciation for Temari and Kankuro. The scene where they were trying to get Gaara to calm down was particularly good. You got a sense of how desperate and afraid they are of Gaara. Also I don't remember Orochimaru using so many... wind ki blasts? I think Kishimoto wasn't sure what powers he had yet.

Danni: I'm a little disappointed that my perfect snake wife was just a creepy old snake man in disguise. I'm honestly more terrified of Gaara right now. Orochimaru seems like he actually has a plan. Gaara just seems a bit...unhinged...

Noelle: I definitely agree with Peter, where Orochimaru in his introduction definitely wasn't as cohesive power-wise, as opposed to the snakes and more snakes that he becomes later. He is set up to be extremely threatening, but at this point, it's definitely more potential than it is factual. As for Gaara, Gaara is one of my faves, even if he starts out as a murder machine. The murder does not stop my appreciation for him. You go, Gaara.

Jared: Now I want a redub of those scenes with Orochimaru except with the Higher Power reveal audio. They certainly make him seem to be a big deal, although it's still relatively shrouded in mystery. Gaara's showing fell incredibly flat for me. Unlike when we first saw him where he had this mysterious aura about him, this just felt like he was made to be the ultimate edgelord. Which if the folks above me are indicating, he gets better, so hopefully that happens sooner rather than later.

Kevin: For both of them, I feel like their introductions worked well to establish them as serious threats. Orochimaru as a somewhat unknown quantity that even the adults are scared of, while Gaara is a coldblooded Genin that doesn't bat an eye at killing people, to the point that even his teammates fear for their lives when around him. For Orochimaru though, I can't remember any actual reason why he's actually in the Chunin Exam. We'll get to future events in later installments, but why bother actually joining the Genin?

Carolyn: I remember loving Orochimaru the first time I watched the show and thinking he was a major villain. They certainly set him to seem that way. I'm interested to see if my thoughts on that change as we progress. I also remember thinking Gaara was quite impressive and mysterious, though he was never a favorite character of mine. Rewatching the show, they definitely hype up his skills.

David: Gaara having a team that is scared of him is significantly more scary than Orochimaru's clear long-term threat foundation going on here. It's kind of cheating but I think this matters a lot for how impactful this ends up being very soon, whereas Orochimaru's threat is much more broad and lore-spanning in the grand scheme of things.

Joseph: Between Orochimaru, cursed Sasuke, and Gaara, there's so much DANGER in these eps. I love it!

Kara: Holy crow, things got dark. I'm not saying that as a negative, either. I'll be curious to see what happens with Orochimaru, because that's some high-stakes stuff that got thrown into the mix. I had a feeling Gaara was gonna make Sasuke look like a ray of sunshine by comparison, but I'm with Akamaru on that whole situation.

If you had to get into intense anime battles in your actual, half-anime life, and you had to copy a Naruto character's techniques, whose style would you use?

Paul: I will continue to stan for my main man, Choji Akimichi, and his ability to transform into the boulder from Raiders of the Lost Ark. Also, they never kill the chubby comic relief characters, so my plot armor would keep me safe from harm but not from embarrassment.

Peter: I feel like the correct answer is Gaara since you can just stand in place writing poems while sand kills people. Practically I think it's hard to argue that Sasuke doesn't have the most "ninja-like" style incorporating the three "jutsus" and leaning heavily on misdirection and outmaneuvering. Each requires having a pretty particular thing though, so it's kind of a lottery by birth.

Danni: Probably Orochimaru. Less for his actual fighting techniques and more because his Mr. Fantastic powers could come in handy when lounging around the house.

Noelle: Gaara's, having sand do my bidding would be pretty neat, and it's not like I sleep much anyway.

Jared: Rock Lee's techniques are what basically what I imagined myself when I was younger when thinking of having anime type fights.

Kevin: I would probably go for the Sharingan, largely due to how versatile it is. It gives amazing kinetic vision, allowing the user to dodge more and land more hits, lets them copy any ninjutsu the enemy uses, can make [REDACTED], or [REDACTED] or even summon [REDACTED], and that's without even getting into the unique abilities from [REDACTED]! Basically, it allows for a lot of flexible techniques, and just with the slight drawback of [REDACTED].

Carolyn: Ooh, can I redact stuff, too? My favorite hasn't happened yet. Have I mentioned how much I love Shikamaru?

David: Is it wrong to want to be Sasuke just because he gets the most well-animated fight scenes? I want to be as cool as he is in those.

Joseph: I've always been a fan of the Shadow Imitation Technique of the Nara clan. I think this is the first time we've seen it in the anime, but throughout the manga I always found it awesome whenever, BAM, someone found themselves ensared out of nowhere.

Kara: Gonna have to say Ino and the body-hopping. I'm so clumsy, the only way I'll ever effectively beat someone up is if I project into them and beat myself up.

So, Sakura gets a few cool minutes in Episode 32. I especially like the reveal that it wasn't a substitution and that she was actually dropping on Zaku and gutting through those Kunai. However, it's kind of mired in a lot of flashback and a weird "How does my face look?" backstory. How did you feel about it? I will say, for a little bit, I got hyped. Bleeding Sakura descending like Batman on this goon is a dope visual.

Paul: I'm glad Sakura finally got a chance to shine, and I didn't feel that the drama of the scene was terribly undercut by her childhood anxieties about having such an enormous forehead. It contextualizes some of her earlier, snappish behavior, and I was impressed with her growth as a character when she expressed a genuine desire to protect Naruto and when she offered Rock Lee her heartfelt thanks.

Peter: I'm kind of two minds on this watching it for the second time. If anything I feel like her dramatic move was undercut by the fact that there were two more Leaf squads that could have stepped in acting as a sort of safety net rather than anything actually relying on her. That said, I think the balance between her efforts in the moment and Ino remembering the extremely dumb stupid kid reason they stopped being friends was great.

Danni: I adored it. A woman's body in media is often portrayed as a priceless work of art. It's an object whose fragile beauty is meant to be fawned over and protected. The slightest mark of imperfection is detrimental to the whole piece. This either leads to strong women whose bodies remain unscathed or weak women whose bodies exist to be tragically violated. Seeing Sakura use her own body as both a weapon and a shield in this fight was nothing less than refreshing. She cast aside the beauty of her long hair, took three kunai to the body in order to get closer than her target, straight up sunk her teeth into him like a wild animal, and took a beating without flinching or letting go. It was so incredibly refreshing to see a woman actually fight with her whole body rather than an objectified version of one.

Noelle: This is Sakura's big awesome moment, and she nailed it. She doesn't have signature jutsu like Naruto's clones or Sasuke's fire - all she really has are perfected versions of the basics. That she's able to use her intellect to her advantage; setting traps, tricking her opponents, it works for her character. The fact that she is unyielding is fantastic, considering that in a lot of anime fight scenes featuring women it it's rarely conveyed just how brutal they can get. Sakura's desperately fighting, and she will take kunai and even bite her opponents if it means she can help her friends. It's rough, messy, and great. Let girls have brawls too!

Jared: I'm a huge fan of the "cutting your hair to signify a big change" trope, so I was incredibly excited to see it here. This moment for Sakura was essentially what I'd been waiting for this entire time with her and it delivered. I was kind of surprised how much backstory we got here, but I think it fit well with everything that was happening around them with Sakura and Ino. Everything about how she attacks Zaku felt like she was desperately doing anything she could to survive, which included things like biting and not letting go. Plus, I'm surprised they showed her bloodied up.

Kevin: To put it this way, Sakura faking out Zaku is both my highest and lowest point of the week. I love that we finally got to see her fight and even out think her opponent, and I was even okay with seeing Ino struggle with their history when deciding how to act, seeing her friend-turned-rival in trouble. They probably could have cut one or two of the flashbacks and lost nothing from the storytelling though.

Carolyn: I actually loved the flashbacks explaining her desire for long hair to impress Sasuke and her rivalry for his heart mixed in with Sakura being an awesome fighter. We saw where she came from and we see where she's headed. Her cutting off her hair (epic) was not just a clever tactic, it was her moving past her fickle, shallow priorities and stepping up. (And incidentally, finally winning Sasuke's respect.) I liked that contrast and I thought it made her powerful moments more meaningful.

David: I don't like how being feminine was presented so constantly as a negative thing in the lead up to her 'level up', especially because it got immediately followed up by a line from Shikamaru to Choji about how they need to be the 'men' of the situation. I also don't like how it didn't end up even really helping the situation, but Sasuke's unintentional powerup did. I do like how the story clearly realized how drastically it was underutilizing its main female characters and tried to rectify that as well as it could within the characterization it had already established for them. So, basically, I like that it ended up where it was, but I wish it didn't have to do that in the first place.

Joseph: Sakura's moment makes up for a lot of her inaction in previous episodes. It made it feel like a much more significant turn, and I think it's another great argument for the power of anime adaptations in taking certain aspects of the source material to the next level. I would also be remiss not to mention how major of a role she played in stopping Sasuke after he awakened to some straight-up Final Fantasy IV midi cover music.

Kara: Sakura's characterization grew three sizes this week! Normally I have nothing against romance or a crush being a motivator (people in the real world act that way sometimes), but I was getting second-hand embarrassment whenever everyone and their mother used her emotions against her because she was that much of an open book. She was seriously dope in episode 32, and I do like that she didn't drop her feelings so much as compartmentalize them. Was it perfect? No. Was it better than what we've seen for the last few weeks? Very much. Plus we've spent so much time being told she knows her stuff, it was nice to see it in action.

If you've read the manga, how do you feel about the pacing of the anime at this point?

Peter: I appreciate they're not trying to draw things out, past a few recap episodes. The only real filler we've gotten was a few more social scenes that ultimately helped build up the individual Team 7 members more so I'm good with them. Visually the series uses the manga as a direct roadmap the majority of the time but the departures, like in Naruto's fight against Haku, were extremely good.

Noelle: It's definitely a little slower, especially since you can read the same amount content much faster than you can watch it. Different mediums lend to different speeds. At the same time, it's not significantly slower - not like One Piece - so it's pretty tolerable. I can't say I have much complaints with the pacing.

David: It's gotten slower recently, but it's still MUCH better than I expect from long-running shonen adaptations even today. I never feel like a half hour isn't used effectively, which is impressive.

Joseph: They've chopped a few minutes off the absurdly long flashbacks at the start of each episode, so it's much punchier now than when it was covering the Zabuza fight. The adaptation nails some of the big moments, so I think they do a fantastic job of making the most out of Kishimoto's story and characters.

Last but not least, what was everyone's high and low points for this week, along with anything else you want to shout out?

Paul: My high point was the fight between Sasuke and Orochimaru in Episode 30. Pierrot's animation team really pulled out all the stops for that one, and I was frankly blown away by how well-staged it was, especially since the previous episode was so janky, to the point where it gave us the "Naruto, you look kind of cool" silly face meme. My low point was the reveal that Rock Lee's ultimate technique is just a glorified Izuna Drop. I was disappointed by that, because I was expecting something really far out there.

Peter: I'd have to say everyone involved had a low moment against the sound ninja. Rock Lee could have actually just kicked the guys head off so I'm not sure why he pulled out his ultimate technique. The master strategist Shikamaru really handled the InoShikaCho combo poorly (why not just have Ino knock the paralyzed guy out then 3v1 the last guy?). Feels like there were too many cooks in the kitchen while Kishimoto was trying to let Sakura stand on her own. High point was Sasuke's epic fight against Orichimaru... or maybe Gaara being Goth Prime?

Danni: If you can't guess already, the high point of this batch for me is Sakura's battle. Naruto snapping Sasuke out of his daze and the whole fight between Sasuke and Orochimaru are close runner-ups. I can't say there were any real low, low points for me in this batch, but I could have done without the whole prolonged tension of them debating whether or not to open the scroll simply for them to move on without opening it. I really feel like that could have been a lot more condensed.

Noelle: It has to be Sakura's battle. She's the last member of the team who hasn't really had a moment of growth, as she's mostly been stuck fawning over Sasuke. Now she has a moment of her own, to show that she really can be one of their peers in combat, not just because she's assigned to be alongside them. Sasuke vs Orochimaru was also fantastic to watch. Low points would probably be the Sound Ninja fight when Sakura wasn't the highlight, it felt a little too long.

Jared: The true answer here is Sakura finally getting her moment as the high point. The flow of these episodes just kept moving until the end where things really slowed down, but that makes sense. Sasuke pulling out a Canadian Destroyer (front flip piledriver) was something I absolutely wasn't expecting. Maybe my low points would be Gaara's fight and then Naruto wanting to open up the scroll since it felt way too obvious that he'd do that.

Kevin: Sakura's fight somehow managed to be both the best and worst moments. The best moment was when she uses Substitution multiple times to trick her opponent into giving her an opening, even though she needed to take multiple kunai wounds in the process. It was awesome to see her thinking, and there might've even been a bit of Naruto rubbing off on her, given how brazen the plan was. Unfortunately, it led to the end of her plan... biting Zaku's arm and just holding on as he kept punching her head. Great plan, Sakura.

Carolyn: The squirrel and the hair cut were high points for me. Also, just seeing everyone have respect for each other. Sakura thanks Rock Lee, Rock Lee acknowledges Sasuke's ability. Good stuff.

David: It might not sound like it so far, but Sakura's fight is my high point for not just this bit, but the entirety of the show - it's one of the defining moments of the series to me, something that has stuck with me for decades at this point. So, criticisms aside, that matters a lot to me. Low point is how even when the show is trying to make Lee cool is still undermines him just as quickly, making it hard to believe it really appreciates his struggle.

Joseph: Episode 30 is an all-timer, so that's gotta be my high point. The low point was probably the Sound Ninja. Their powers are cool, and I understand jutsu is a term encompassing techniques in a wide swath, but to me they just had prosthetics and weapons. Hey, check out my jutsu *pulls out a gun*.

Kara: Can't decide between Sasuka vs. Orochimaru or Sakura finally Doing Things as my high point. Really liked both. Low point was probably every time I had to see Naruto squiggling around in snake guts.

COUNTERS:

"I'm gonna be Hokage!" count: 14

Bowls of ramen consumed: 2 bowls, 3 cups

Shadow Clones: 115

And that's everything for this week! Remember that you're always welcome to join us for this rewatch, especially if you haven't watched the original Naruto!

Here's our upcoming schedule!

-Next week, on FEBRUARY 22ND, we’re looking at EPISODES 36-42 as I, DANIEL DOCKERY, IN MY TRUE BEAST FORM, hosts as the Forest of Death continues to torment! THIS IS THE ONLY INSTALLMENT WE'RE ACCEPTING QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS FOR THIS WEEK!

-Then on MARCH 1ST, we’ll talk about EPISODES 43-49 as NATE MING returns as we enter into one-on-one competition including a showdown between Rock Lee and Gaara!

-On MARCH 8th, we move on to the final stage of the Chunin Exam with EPISODES 50-56, hosted by CAROLYN BURKE!

Thank you for joining us for the Great Crunchyroll Naruto Rewatch! Have a great weekend, and we'll see you all next time!

Have any comments or questions about episodes 22-28? What about our upcoming installment, featuring episodes 29-35?

-------------------------

Daniel Dockery is a writer and editor for Crunchyroll. He has a Twitter that he uses.

Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!

By: [email protected]

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jimpotters · 7 years

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i needed to hate someone and you’re the one i love the most, so it fell on you (james/lily)

“Shit, Evans, what the fuck is your problem?” Potter snaps and this feels different. He’s been mad at her before – she knows she’s frustrating for people she doesn’t insult regularly, let alone Potter who somehow seems to always know how to get at her, make her feel like she’s missing the mark and how does he do that? – but there’s something unhinged in this. The cage coming unlocked, the monster unleashed, and havoc about to be rained down on her with the fury of Avada Kedavra.

(except, even with all those metaphors about curses and monsters, she’s not scared. she’s not. potter would never hurt her; not intentionally. oh, he’ll call her on her shit. call her a daft cow and a stubborn prig and a royal pain in the arse and he’ll mean it. but hurt her? never. not potter.)

Lily rolls her eyes. “Don’t act—”

“No; shut up.” He cuts her off, marching forward until she’s backed herself against the railing. Around them the stairs are spinning but that’s maybe the least unsettling thing about this moment. “Don’t talk. You’re gonna listen to me, for once, Evans.”

She wants to say she has to listen to him constantly since he never fucking shuts up, but the words choke her. Instead, her mouth shuts with a click. Nervously, she licks her lips. Potter glances at her mouth, rocking forward as if he’s going to kiss her, before gaining control and clenching his jaw. It surprises her how badly she wishes he hadn’t restrained himself.

It isn’t that she hates Potter, really, it isn’t. She just hates the way he acts. Remus tells her it’s all an act, Peter tells her he’s just a lad being a lad, and even Black slings an arm around her, casually mentioning that his best mate is a really, very good guy and if she keeps acting uninterested then he’ll make sure his best mate moves on and she’s left in the dust.

It’s sort of sweet, in a twisted boy way.

But there’s no real trace of a ‘sweet Potter’ right now. She knows what Sweet Potter looks like, she’s seen it in the way he takes care of firsties and his mates. This is Serious Potter, with his hair sticking out like elbows, electricity in his voice singing against every nerve of hers.

“I’m so tired of this, Evans.” He starts angrily. “Why do you still hate me? Fuck’s sake, I’ve been pretty bloody well-behaved this year: very few pranks, only seventeen detentions, and I haven’t even fucking bothered a Slytherin since last year unless they started it. What more do you want from me, eh? What more can I give you before you stop hating me like your sodding life depends on it?”

“How about harmless pranks instead of only a few, no detentions, and you fought with Rosier last bloody week, you daft lunatic!” Lily snaps.

“I said shut up,” Potter snarls. “The pranks were fucking harmless and I said I’ve never started shit with the Slytherins! Can’t help it if they start it with me, prig.”

“I don’t ca—”

“I’ve done everything,” Potter continues as if she hasn’t spoken. “To get you to stop fucking hating me. Do you know how hard it is? How painful it is to have the person you love hate you?”

Lily thinks of Petunia’s flat voice telling her she’s out of the wedding. She stays silent.

(only black knows about petunia. only black whose family is more fucked up than anyone’s probably. who came very close last year to losing his new one for reasons lily still doesn’t know. but the common room is empty late that thursday night and she can’t very well leave him sitting there, cold and alone and looking so sad with those big grey eyes so hollow.

i heard you and the lads are on the outs

fuck off, evans

look, it doesn’t mean shit i know, but i get it. and if you need to talk…

you don’t understand shit

when she goes upstairs, she debates not going back down. he’s cruel when he wants to be, she thinks. he’s a prat and a prick. he’s mean. he’s bolstering.

he’s scared and he’s hurt. he’s her last year. what would have happened to her if she hadn’t had dorcas.

my sister hates me, she says sitting beside him, holding out a bag of sugar quills dorcas bought for o.w.l.s. she’ll make it up next hogsmeade but sirius looks far needier.

he looks at her, makes a judgment, and says so does my brother

piece by piece the marauders come back, first peter and sirius, then remus and sirius, then potter and black come to blows in the hall, by the end of which the marauders are back. very little changes with them, very little changes at all after those months, but black calls her marie now – i’m moving up to your first name, can’t do that without your middle name, evans – and every so often she’ll find a sugar quill on her bed after a particularly bad day)

“Don’t pretend you actually like me,” If her voice is wet, Potter doesn’t seem to notice. “Don’t pretend this all hasn’t been a big joke to you!”

Potter reels. “Is that—Is that what you think this has been? A joke?”

She scoffs as bitterly as she can manage. “Don’t lie to me, Potter.”

“You,” His face is pale with fury or shock or maybe both. Lily watches as everything about him tenses inch-by-inch; if she touches him he might shatter. She doesn’t even breathe. He shatters anyway. “You are the most frustrating, insane, ridiculous, mess of a human being in the whole sodding world!”

“I’m touched.” She snaps.

“In the head, maybe.” His voice is barely more than a snarl. “I mean, Merlin, Evans, can’t you fucking see that you’re everything to me? I don’t know how it fucking happened because you are the most singularly mad woman I’ve ever met but you’re goddamn everything. You’re the fucking castle and the magic and my family and my mates and my broom and my bones; you’re the reason I try so fucking hard, the reason my mates think I’m off my arse insane when the truth is I’m off my arse in love with a stubborn prig. Shut up.”

Her mouth clicks closed. She isn’t even sure what she would have said, honestly. What must it even be like to feel that way for someone? She’s had blokes before give her butterflies, for a few months at a time. She’s had Hogsmeade visits and snogs in the empty classrooms; the whole Hogwarts romance package.

She tries to tell herself it’s nothing like how she feels about Potter because she’s not floating with him, not at all. With him it feels like drowning. It feels desperate and crushing she wants to drag him down with her. She’s had dreams about it before. The two of them sinking in the ocean, sometimes they’re struggling, sometimes they’re not.

Sometimes she’s the ocean.

Sometimes he is.

“And the fact that you think I was fucking messing you about is baffling. Would anyone do what I’ve done if they didn’t genuinely want to hold your goddamn hand?”

“You mean hex every bloke that so much as glances at me? Or making enchanted balloons follow me around on my birthday? Or harassing me in class? You can fuck off, Potter.”

He’s in her face so quickly that she would have toppled over the railing if not for his arm around her. She hasn’t been oblivious to the fact that they have literally been toe-to-bloody-toe in this conversation, but every inch of him is practically pressed against her. Blood rushes in her ears and when did get so tall? He towers over her so badly she’d have to get on her tip-toes to even reach his eyes, so intense behind those ugly glasses.

“Evans,” He whispers.

His eyes have gold in them, she thinks dizzily as he gets closer. His eyes have gold and he smells like cologne and help, help, help

“Can’t shut your fucking mouth, can you?” He asks, almost laughing.

Lily rolls her eyes, gripping the stairway railing so hard her knuckles hurt. One billion points to Gryffindor for the way her voice doesn’t shake, “Why don’t you just use magic if you don’t want me to talk so badly? You clearly have no problem hexing other people.”

His hand comes up slowly, giving her the chance to bat it away. His fingers curl, four on the back of her neck, and his thumb delicately running over the hollow of her throat. He’s not applying any pressure but Lily’s throat closes all the same.

“I would never do that.” He murmurs, watching her pulse jump under his hand, she’s sure. “Not to you.”

“Not to anyone.” She fumbles over the words.

Potter meets her eyes, smiling. “Can’t promise that, Evans. Imagine how much better the world would be without Avery’s charming voice.”

She really can’t argue with that. “Or Black’s running commentary in class.”

Potter laughs. “Oh, come off it, Evans. Sirius isn’t so bad.”

“He’s not completely awful,” Lily concedes. “When he feels like it.”

“Don’t gush, Evans, it’s unbecoming.” Potter teases her. The laughter is completely involuntary but Potter’s face lights up so she can’t really regret it.

“Word will spread,” says Lily, grinning toothily despite herself. “And my reputation will be ruined.”

“The Harlot of Hogwarts.” Potter nods seriously.

“Oh dear. What will my mother think?”

“She’ll disown you, probably. Kick you right out of the house.”

“Of course, it’s the only logical solution. I’ll be the talk of the town.”

“You’ll be on all the newspapers, you know.”

“I’ll never be able to escape it, especially because I’ll probably have to use the newspapers to construct a dwelling of some kind.”

“Nah,” Potter smiles that stupid smile again. “You’ll come live with me.”

“You’d take in the Harlot of Hogwarts?” She asks cheekily.

Run away, she tells herself. Get away, this is too close, this is too much, you’re not friends, you have to go before it all comes undone.

“You’d have to put out, of course.” Potter nods seriously. “But yeah.”

“Of course.” Lily promises. “Every night.”

“Every night.” Potter repeats, looking off into the distance dreamily.

“Potter!” Lily laughs, hitting his arm. “Get your mind out of the gutter!”

“But then where would it live?” He asks, cocking his head at her. Lily stomps down on the urge to drag her fingers gently across his cheek and through his hair. It would probably send the wrong message.

“Maybe in the real world.” She suggests. “You know, where the rest of us live.”

“I like my dream world better.” Potter says and that’s when Lily realizes she’s been trapped in his arms for the past twenty minutes. In fact, she’s practically settled where she is; one hand even resting on his forearm. That stupid sincerity in his voice is back, “You’re there.”

“I’m here too.” She reminds him softly.

Potter shakes his head. “Not the same. Tomorrow we’ll be fighting in the real world. In my dream world we’re kissing instead.”

His hand moves up, thumb stroking over her bottom lip reverently. She reaches up to pull his hand down from her face and he suddenly can’t seem to look at her.

“We’d still fight, James.” His head jerks up at his first name. She doesn’t smile but it’s in her voice when she says, “Even if we were dating, we wouldn’t change. We’d fight and scream and all that rotten stuff as much as we do now because even if we’re dating, you’ll still drive me batty. And I’ll still be a stubborn prig. None of that changes.”

“Except you’d be mine.” He tells her, dropping his eyes again. “And I’d be yours. Really be yours. Not just this rotten situation where I’m yours but you don’t want me.”

Something stings inside her chest, along the struts of her ribs. She knows she doesn’t owe him anything; just because he loves her doesn’t mean she has to love him but she does, Merlin, she loves this stupid man. Maybe that’s why she’s hated him so much. All those shitty things he does infuriate her not just because she hates bullies (she does) but because she knows he can be good and kind and sweet but he doesn’t. She hates that he keeps failing her because if he would just stop acting like a prat because he thinks it looks cool then she could be with him. She would be with him.

She’s never admitted it to herself before.

The realization shakes her.

But it doesn’t change anything, she thinks fatally. James is still a prat, still a bully (better than before, true, but not enough), and until that changes Lily Evans will never give James Potter the time of day. It’s just how it has to be. Until he grows up, at least.

She just hopes him growing up doesn’t mean him growing out of her. Because she’ll wait for him, she knows. She’ll wait and scold and watch carefully for him to change of his own free will. She won’t make him change, won’t force him to change; his growth is not her job. But it is her dream.

(one day he’ll be ready for this. she’ll be ready too. steadily adjusting to this hungry, sick feeling in her chest that makes her want to crawl into his ribs and make a home. she’ll learn to be more open with him, to be less scared of the future. they both have some growing to do but lily is sure they’ll get there: they’re james&lily.)

Lily pushes his head back up to look him in the eye. Encouragingly, but not promising anything, she says, “Give it time, James. We both have growing up to do; it’d be a shame to waste something like this on stupid teenagers.”

He looks pained as he begs, “Lily, are you—”

“I’m not promising anything, James.” She says firmly. “First we have to get to mates.”

James grins so beautifully that Lily almost has to look away. “Just you wait; I’m gonna marry you.”

Lily sighs. “Yeah, see, mates don’t say that to each other.”

“Really? I say that to Remus all the time.” James replies with a smirk.

“Not Peter or Black?”

“I think Remus would make the best spouse of us all, honestly.” James explains. “Black and Peter can duel for the chance to be my mistress.”

“I will warn you, Potter, I don’t take lightly to people on the side.” Lily says, only half-joking.

He really needs to stop doing that thing with eyes or she’ll never gain feeling back in her knees. “Don’t be daft, Evans. What part of ‘everything’ do you not understand?”

“Goodbye, James.” She says, pushing him away from her gently. He steps back willingly, fingers lingering for a moment on her arm.

“Bye, Lily.” He responds. She can feel his eyes on her as she disappears finally up the stairs. When she turns, his staircase is moving but he’s walking down it as it turns. She thinks that might be the quintessential James Potter right there: a young man walking with confidence as the world changes around him, moving quickly without knowing where he’ll end up by the time it all settles.

Wherever it is, she hopes she’s there with him.

#jily #james x lily #jily fanfiction #hp #james potter #lily evans

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malilimago · 7 years

Text

Starry Nights Part 12!

Riley is a nanny who seems to have it all. She’s got an awesome job with an extremely rich family that only needs her a few hours during the week, a loving Fiancé, and wonderful family and friends, but somethings missing. Lucas is a Veterinary Technician in a very similar situation. See what happens when their two world collide on one starry night in December.

Word Count: 2,300

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11

Better off Dead (1985): "First, we have: Frawnch fries…and…Frawnch dressing…and…Frawnch bread…and to drink, Ta-da! Peru.“

Author’s Note: It’s been awhile, but I’m back with part 12! As always, a shout out to my inspirations!: @iwantyoutochooseme, @whenrileymetlucas, @katdvs and @grizbehr! Y’all are amazing! And to all those who’ve stayed with me THANK YOU FOR YOUR LOVE AND SUPPORT! I appreciate it SO MUCH! I HOPE YOU ENJOY!

Part 12: “Pillowtalk"

Lucas 10:41pm

When we enter the apartment a feeling of relief comes over me. These past few nights have been WEIRD to say the least, so it’s nice being somewhere I’m familiar with. I look to Riley and can tell she’s ready to be done with this evening as well and I don’t blame her. Like I said tonight’s beenWEIRD!

“Well.” We say at the same time.

“Sorry, go ahead.” I chuckle.

“No, you go first.” She insists.

“I was just going to say, I had a really fun time tonight.”

“You’re such a liar.” She accuses politically. “But, that’s okay.”

“I’m being serious!”

“Fine-”

“Freaked out, insecure, neurotic and emotional. I’ll take it.”

Her face brightens as her brows lift. “You’ve seen the Italian Job?”

“Of course, I love movies like that!”

“Me too.” She sings.

I’m just about to ask her what her other favorite films are when-

*Buzz* *Buzz* *Buzz*

I close my eyes and watch my insides cave in on themselves.

This can’t be happening.

“You should get that.” She whispers.

Yup, this is happening.

I reluctantly do as she says and jam my hand in my pocket to retrieve my stupid, STUPID PHONE! I shake my head as I see who it is and hold it up for Riley to see. She gives me an apologetic smile and encourages me to answer it.

“Hey, Pey.”

She gives me another smile than tiptoes towards the bathroom, my spirit deflating with each step.

“LUCAS?!” Peyton screeches through the earpiece, triggering my younger sibling flinch.

“Hot damn! Peyton! Where’s the fire?!” I shout back.

“WELL IT SEEMS TO BE THE ONLY THING THAT GETS YOUR ATTENTION! NOW! Christmas!”

I roll my eyes and shuffle towards my room. This is gonna take a while… GREAT.

Riley 11:28pm

I finish up in the bathroom and peek out into the hallway. I can hear Mrs. Hanson’s voice seep through the crack of Lucas’ door. I let out a soft chuckle as I quietly creep back to my room. I slowly lock the door and when I hear the click I let out a silent cheer!

Finally!

I quickly strip down to my undies and dance to my suitcase. I need some much-needed sleep! The past few days have been… Weird.

I take in a deep breath and smile big as I shake out my over-sized sweater with its huge Santa head eating a loaf of bread on it!

It was last year’s Christmas gift to Charlie from Maya. She thought he’d get a kick out of it since he specialized in breads, but he didn’t. In fact, he was deeply offended, which is why I own it now!

I throw it on then clumsily slip into my awesome calf length tube socks! When I’m finished, I wiggle my freshly warmed toes and let out a tiny giggle.

I’m complete!

I glance over to my pajama bottoms and stick my tongue out at them. I only brought um for Lucas’ sake. Ya know, just to be polite when I walk around at night, but right now I don’t care! I just want to be free and let my legs breathe!

I fall backwards onto my bed, bumping my nightstand as I do. Without warning, an unexpected item falls to the ground creating a loud clanking sound. Of course, I scream bloody murder till I realize it’s just Joey’s baseball bat!

Oh thank goodness!

However, my relief is short lived as another loud noise pierces the air. Lucas!

“RILEY?!” He calls as he pounds on my door. “ARE YOU ALRIGHT?!”

I clutch my chest and with a newly found vigor, reply, “YES!” as I try my best to steady my pounding heart.

“Are you sure?!”

“Yeah!” I reassure him as I rush to the door and open it. “I accidentally-” My jaw comes unhinged as I gawk at Lucas’ shirtless body. Greek Gods do exist! He snaps his fingers, bringing me back to earth.

“You sure you’re okay?” He asks with a concerned expression etched into his gorgeously formed face.

“YEAH!” I reply with a nervous chuckle. “I accidentally knocked over a baseball bat.”

“You play?!”

“No! I was- it was when- I-”

“Long story?” He guesses as he flashes an adorable smile.

“Yeah.” I reply shyly.

WHY IS HE SO CUTE?!

His eyes drop to my chest and I feel my cheeks heat up.

He’s checking me out!

My feminist mind is about to unleash a harsh rant on equality and respect when he says, “Nice sweater.”

SHIT! I totally forgot what I was wearing!

My eyes shift to the floor as I stumble through the explanation of it.

“It was a Christmas mess- GIFT! Christmas gift from Maya to Charlie and he was a prick and tried to throw it away- NOT THAT I THINK HE’S A PRICK per say, just an asshole- JERK!” How I keep sticking my foot in my mouth, I have no clue, but boy do I wish I could stop! “I’m sorry I-”

Hey!” Lucas interjects. “ONE! Stop saying sorry for having an opinion and TWO! You wanna do something crazy?”

“Please!” I squeak.

Riley 1:03am

A silly grin makes its way across my face as Lucas and I tumble to the ground. He must have magical powers or something because it’s been years since I’ve done anything like this!

“You’re brilliant.” He pants.

“The feelings mutual.” I grunt, propping myself up on my elbows as I do. We look to each other and high five. All of the sudden a feeling of regret comes over me as I think of Auggie.

“My brother would’ve loved this.”

“My siblings too.” He sighs. “I know!” He states as he sits up.

“Hmm?”

“Let’s dedicate this to them!”

“That’s a PERFECT IDEA!” I cheer.

He rolls out of the ginormous fort we’ve just finish making and calls for me to follow. When I stand up, he’s nowhere to be found.

“Lucas?”

A slight sting takes over my right arm as a puff of feathers explode beside me. I turn to find the culprit sporting a cheeky grin as he holds his pillow at the ready.

“Lucas!”

“Forgive my rudeness, fair maiden.” He cackles in a horrible yet charming British accent. “But, twas you who suggested we dedicate this mighty fortuitous to our kinsmen!”

“Tis true, but an attack I did not!” I reply with an equally bad British accent.

“Well, Darlin’, that’s how it’s done in the kingdoms down South.” He states in a thick southern drawl.

“Fighting?”

“Mmmhmm.” He hums.

“For what?”

“Rule.” He replies with a bow as he tosses the other pillow in front of me. “This Palace needs a ruler before a proper dedication can commence.”

“Then a ruler it shall have.” I retort as I shift my gaze into a glare and pick up the offering.

“TO THE DEATH!” I shriek, quickly striking him in the head.

“TO THE DEATH!” He repeats as he deflects my feeble attempt and swings his mighty weapon of fluff!

I barely miss his deadly blow as I fall to the floor and speedily crawl behind the couch. I do my best to regain my bearings, but am cut short when Lucas leaps over my useless cover and shouts. “HA-HA!”

He lounges for me, but I skillfully doge him once again and race towards the Kitchen. I’m just about to clear the entryway when I feel a cushion knock my balance off. I stumble to the ground, losing my pillow in the process. I watch as it slides across the floor and a feeling of dread creeps in as my eyes dart to Lucas to see if he’s caught my disadvantage.

HE HAS!

I scramble towards it, but he beats me to it and kicks it further away. I quickly jump to my feet and tickle his exposed underarms. He’s so caught off guard that he loses his focus for a split-second, allowing me to snatch his pillow from him!

“HEY!” He laughs. “That’s not fair!”

“All’s fair in love and war!” I quote as I get a good whack at him before running it to the Kitchen. He catches up to me and traps me at the island.

“I see I’ve misjudged your abilities.” He huffs as we circle it.

“That you have!” I state as I book it for the dining room. He’s close behind me, but not for long! I pull the highchair in front of him and laugh as he trips over it. That small distraction gives me enough time to slip back into the hallway. I wait at the end of it making sure he’s still following from that way. When he rounds the corner I quickly flip off the lights and sprint back to the family room where I hide behind the recliner. I peek behind it as he defensively re-enters the room, his eyes peeled for me.

“Can we call a truce?!” He calls out with his awful British accent still intact. “I’m winded!”

I remain quiet as I position myself right next to him then yell, “NEVER!!!”

I spring out and send the final blow to his stomach!

His eyes widen as he looks to his stomach than back to me.

“Riley!” He Wheezes.

I nod with great satisfaction as I watch him fall to his knees.

“Any last words?”

“Long live Cuddle Bunnies!” He huffs.

“Awww! That’s lovely.”

He salutes me the dies (tongue out). I salute him back and for a moment, bow my head in reverence of fallen opponent. After a second of mourning I muster all the strength I can and shout, “I’m the QUEEN!” as I make my victory laps around the now “dead” Lucas Friar. He sits up and joins in my celebration!

“All hail, Queen Riley!” He cheers.

I giggle, slightly embarrassed at how serious I got and take a bow before going back into my fort. He tries to follow, but I stop him.

“First, state your loyalty Sir …” I search his eyes for a name and he laughingly replies, “Mortimer Twigglebottomsmythe.”

“WOW! You are definitely from the Southern Kingdoms.” I joke. “So, go ahead. State your loyalty Sir. Mortimer Twigglebottomsmythe of Austin.”

He takes my hand and gazes deeply in my eyes as he replies, “From this day forth my loyalty will forever be to you Queen Riley of Greenwich Village.”

He finishes with a kiss on my hand and I feel my heart pick up speed.

“I guess that will do.” I exhale.

“Will it?” He taunts and I pull my hand back as I stick my tongue out at him.

He flashes his famous Friar smirk and starts to crawl forward, but I stop him again.

“But I pledged my loyalty?”

“I know. Now you must bow.” I demand coldly.

“But-”

“Bow!”

“How deep do you want it?” He asks with his cheeky smirk still in place.

I gulp hard and shrug. “You may go as deep as your devotion.”

“Okay.”

He sprawls out flat on the floor and my eyes widen because in Mulan that meant a lot of respect?!

“Can I come in now?” He asks, his face still pressed against the rug.

“Oh yes, of course!” I stutter as I help him up. “I’m so sorry! I kind of get carried away with things like this.”

“It’s alright, your highness. I’ve experienced worse.”

“Your sister?”

“ZAY!”

A fit of laughter takes me over as I imagine King Zay forcing everyone to kiss his pinky ring.

“OH MAN! That is worse!”

Lucas 1:54am

Our laughter settle as we resume our positions in the fort. We take a moment to marvel at our work as we try to steady out breathe. This has got to be one of my best. I glance over to her and find she’s already looking at me.

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

The feeling from her room come back and all I want to do is grab her beautiful face and kiss her, but I stop myself.

“What is it?” She asks as I back away.

“I’ve never been good at hooking up-”

“Is that what you think this is?” She asks, clearly upset by what I’ve just said.

“NO!” I correct. “Far from it, which is why I can’t kiss you.” Her shoulders slump over and I can tell she still isn’t getting what I’m trying to say, so I rephrase it. “Because if I kiss you now, I’ll never leave.”

“Is that such a bad thing?” She questions as she wiggles into my arms. I breathe in the scent of her hair and feel my body weaken.

DAMN IT ALL TO HELL! SHE SMELLS LIKE STRAWBERRIES! NEXT YOU’RE GONNA TELL ME SHE LOVES BASKETBALL!

I clinch my jaw as I massage her arm. “Not at all, but we gotta be real about this, Riles. We both have a lot goin’ on right now.” She’s about to cut me off again, but I stop her. “AND I WILL BE DAMNED if I’m the reason you don’t get time to heal!”

“I don’t need time!” She pouts.

“You think that now, but I promise you, you’ll be grateful you had it. I mean look at me! I was given that opportunity and it lead me here to you.”

“But, what if that doesn’t happen for me?” She asks as she leans back to look me in the eyes. “What if this is all we get?”

I lightly brush her cheek and whisper. “Then I am the luckiest man on Earth to have gotten a week in your world.”

A tear falls as she quickly tucks her head back into my chest. I pull her in closer and pray.

Oh, please, PLEASE say she’s wrong! But if not. Thank you for this moment.

I lightly kiss the top of her head and rock her till we both drift off to sleep.

#rucas #rucas fanfic #rucas au #rucasfanfiction #rucas fandom #liley #liley fanfic #liley au

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buildercar · 7 years

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New Post has been published on http://www.buildercar.com/formula-offroad-rewards-and-punishes-icelanders-fearless-aggression/

Formula Offroad Rewards — and Punishes — Icelanders’ Fearless Aggression

They called them berserkers. Named for the Old Norse word “berserkir,” or “bear shirt,” these hatchets-for-hire terrorized first-millennium Iceland. After whipping themselves into a vein-popping rage, they would scythe furiously through their foes, apparently unable to feel fear or pain. True to their name, they rejected chain-mail armor in favor of fighting in bear skins.

Almost a thousand years have passed since the berserkers went extinct, but their spirit lives on. Nomex has replaced bear skins, but the fearlessness and aggression remain. Their new enemy? Gravity. Welcome to the world of Formula Offroad, where unhinged Icelanders attack otherworldly volcanic terrain — and scuba-worthy water — with homebuilt, 1,000-plus horsepower 4x4s in an all-out scrap for the national title.

I’m in Hella on the island’s south coast for the first round of the 2016 Formula Offroad season. To my left, a huge plain dusted with weary yellow grass leads to a distant, jagged horizon — a smashed chessboard of black volcanic peaks inlaid with a hardy snow pack. There isn’t a soul in sight. But to my right, a motorsports colony has sprung up in the wilderness, with trailers, tents, and thousands of fans gathered around a vast sunken basin of basalt 800 yards long and 150 wide, hemmed in by a river at one end. Its sides are, in places, closer to vertical than horizontal; stubborn outcrops guard the trench-like teeth. This beastly geological halfpipe forms the weekend’s racetrack.

We’re in tow with 25-year-old Snorri Thor Àrnason, Icelandic champion for the last three years and driver of Choirboy. Choirboy sings courtesy of a GM-sourced LS3 V-8 stroked from 6.2 to 7.0 liters by Nebraskan tuner BluePrint. It makes 625 horsepower on its own, but a nitrous kick activated at full throttle can boost it to 1,000. At 2,400 pounds, the car’s a lightweight for its kind, with a better power-to-weight ratio than a Bugatti Chiron.

Truck axles share the power equally front and rear, and each houses a locked differential for strong traction. Super-quick steering comes from a forklift, and six adjustable Fox shocks include a supplementary pair up front to help absorb the biggest impacts. Holding it all together is a custom tubular steel chassis wearing the skimpiest of gold-painted fiberglass bodywork that, like a string bikini, fails to contain the enormous Super Scooper tires — dragster-spec balloons with solid rubber paddles to better haul through power-sapping sand.

Indeed, step back and Choirboy looks every bit the sandpit-raiding R/C car of your youth. But then Àrnason fires it up, and this is clearly no toy. A deep, gravelly idle gives way to an ear-twinging, guttural bellow when he blips the throttle, a sound like the Predator with a case of catarrh and a badly stubbed toe.

Choirboy, built in 2000 and fresh off its latest triumphs, now has a new owner in Pálsson after three-time champion Àrnason put his winning vehicle up for sale prior to the 2017 season.

Over the two-day competition, 12 stages comprise four track types each worth up to 350 points. Most are untimed technical stages that riff along the pit’s walls, with precipitous drops, crawling sideslips, and sheer, full-bore uphill charges. The farther you get, the more points you score. Deductions are made for clipping gates, stopping, and reversing. The timed stages are longer and more frenetic with the fastest man bagging 350 points and his rivals losing a point for each 0.1 second they lag. Water and mud tracks bring the lunacy to a close with their own unique brand of mayhem.

It’s like Wacky Races on steroids. One machine, lightly wearing a Land Rover body, is known as The Animal. The car, run by sheep farmer Bjarki Reynisson, has a 7.1-liter V-8 with nitrous.

The ground basalt of the pit’s walls, weathered to a rusty ochre at the surface, is fine and gives way easily. It’s hard enough gaining a foothold on the slopes — my heart rate doubles as I clamber up one, while others are simply unclimbable — so I’m not sure how you could drive up them. But with the spectators dug into the sand or perched on ledges like Jawas on Tatooine, the 22 cars line up above the pit for the start.

It’s like Wacky Races on steroids. One machine, lightly wearing a Land Rover body, is known as The Animal and its mechanics as The Veterinarians. The car, run by sheep farmer Bjarki Reynisson, has a 7.1-liter V-8 with nitrous, as does the Spiderman-liveried beast of flamboyant crowd-pleaser Thor Pálsson. Also in the nitrous V-8 camp is father-and-son team Svanur Tómasson and Aron Svansson, who will give you a ride in their orange cars, Insane and Zombie, if you have the constitution (and $750). Most others use turbocharged V-8s, but Gudni Grímsson’s flyweight Cube is powered by a 2.4-liter Honda Accord four-pot tuned to 700 horsepower with the help of both nitrous and turbocharging. Àrnason’s main threat is Ólafur Jónsson, the previous champion who will drive his No. 47 car immediately before Àrnason on each stage.

Grimsson edges off the cliff for the first technical stage. He staggers over the solid precipice then turns hard right for the first gate. But gravity spoils his line, dragging him sideways as though Cube is attached to an unseen winch on the valley floor. The sand’s rusty surface is pierced, and fresh, jet-black grains ooze from beneath his tires like crude oil. The front wheels dig in too deeply, and the car buries itself. It looks like curtains already, but a fit of gear-shuffling and steering wiggles sets Grimsson free, and Cube launches back up and over the crest, blow-off valve chattering furiously.

Then it’s time for another loop down and across the slope before a full-throttle assault on a sheer cliff face. He slams into it, and the front tires rebound and send the car vertical. It hangs in the air for a moment before rolling slowly backwards onto its roof, eventually finishing sunny side up in a cloud of steam with bits of bodywork strewn about. The crowd erupts. Grimsson’s run is Formula Offroad in a nutshell: skill, power, and high, unscripted drama with episodic bouts of disaster. It’s utterly intoxicating. I review my iPhone recording to find ample footage of my shoes: Like my jaw, my hand had dropped in awe.

Àrnason’s turn comes, and he creeps over the edge using barely any horsepower. He clambers over an outcrop, but as soon as all four wheels touch down, he puts on an armful of steering lock and stabs the throttle. The front tires dig in, and the rear pivots tidily around the gate. Àrnason takes aim at the first ascent and howls up and over the crest before powersliding left, firing a jet of stinging volcanic shards into onlooking faces, including mine.

With 12 stages contested across four track types, winning takes commitment, versatility, and consistency.

He dips down the slope again, splits the gate, and turns back up to face the wall that set Grimsson tumbling. A burst of throttle also sends Àrnason’s front wheels skyward when they impact the cliff face, but he eases off just as the rear wheels follow suit, and the car pops sweetly onto the ledge, the trick suspension expertly cushioning the chassis against the rock face. Then the nitrous chimes in as he unleashes maximum thrust, and Choirboy hurls off the ledge and onto the flat, spitting a plume of dust across the conquered valley. In the 30 seconds Àrnason needed to maul the first stage, I can see why he’s the reigning champion — his whirling hands seek out traction in the dirt like a Piedmontese farmer’s dog finds truffles, and judicious use of Choirboy’s massive power reserve does the rest.

This all takes place to a classic rock soundtrack belted out by a giant mobile sound stack. It’s fantastic entertainment.

On the timed courses, Choirboy hits its stride with longer blasts of throttle that slingshot the car along the pit. Àrnason finishes one with a gorgeous uphill drift before leaping out of the ravine, leaving a legacy of billowing dust, combustive echoes, and whooping applause.

The same course brings the weekend’s biggest save. Alexander Steinarsson launches off the clifftop with too much speed and ends up facing the ground, his No. 91 car moving in the right direction but up on its nose, tipped just past vertical. Somehow he avoids a somersault and gets the rear axle down, then the car snaps to the right. He corrects and fires left just in time to make the first gate. The crowd goes bananas.

Àrnason’s championship form continues through the weekend, including a record-breaking haul of maximum points on day one. As Icelandic Motorsport Association president Tryggvi Thordarson (who literally wrote the rulebook) tells me, Àrnason has an incredible knack for the sport. There’s flair, too. He gives a celebratory, snarling pump of gas when crossing one finish line 10 feet above the ground.

Others are less accomplished but no less dramatic. With near-vertical ascents aplenty, cars roll every which way, and many drivers finish up dangling in their harnesses like sleeping bats. Some even flip over on near-flat sections as tires dig in during a frenzy of torque. Engines overheat, wheels come off, and a driveshaft gets spat out with such force that marshals spend 10 minutes prodding for it in the sand like a land mine. This all takes place to a classic rock soundtrack belted out by a giant mobile sound stack. It’s fantastic entertainment.

The champ is just ahead of Jónsson as they enter the final two stages, where Formula Offroad gets even more maniacal. First, the water stage, where drivers must fling their cars across — not through — a 220-yard stretch of river using maximum power to stay afloat like a skimming stone. The physics works, they tell me. And this is no babbling brook, as early runner Atli Ásgeirsson finds out when he fluffs his entry, trickles into the water, and finds his car totally submerged in seconds.

Jónsson’s technique for this lunatic challenge is spot-on. He lines up and nails the gas, the engine straining at full revs as he launches onto the river. It’s like the water has spontaneously frozen over as he rinks across the surface at almost 50 mph, juggling the wheel as the roaring rear tires flail wildly. He finds a small gravel island to grab a moment of traction that shoots him on across the final yards and back onto dry land. Àrnason takes a shorter approach, but leaves the shore in full attack mode. His pace is good, but both axles start to tramp violently as he skims the water, the engine wavering badly. The gravel patch can’t come soon enough, and Choirboy stabilizes for the last stretch. Àrnason lets go of the wheel to flap his arms in celebration. He makes it and all but secures victory.

The final stage is the mud course — a quagmire torn to sloppy shreds in a slapstick riot that sees the cars slurry-coated in moments. With the car and its driver both drenched in sludge, Àrnason does just enough to win the event with 3,608 points to Jónsson’s 3,579. It’s the perfect start to his title defense. He’s ecstatic, and as he crosses the finish line he goes, well … berserk.

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