Tumgik
#unless they know them in person? could make sense
dangerpronebuddie · 3 days
Text
Been talking to a bunch of people about a bunch of things since that episode, and despite how mad I am, I still have hope. (Foolish? Quite possibly).
Hold onto your hoola hoops folks, this is long lol.
I'll start with the issue that affects the most characters: our beloathed bigot, Captain Gerrard. He has something against each and every one of the characters: race, gender, sexuality, what socks they wore on Thursday. This jackass hates everyone.
Judging by the still Tim shared, Ortiz had a hand in putting him in charge. It's honestly the most logical explanation since we could've easily had Hen or even Chim as captain again if push came to shove (and captain Han again could've been really interesting considering 6x14 but I digress). Regardless, he's there. And he's going to make everyone's lives misery. And no one is going to let him. He's intruding on a family. Not one of them is going to willingly stay silent. It's much more likely they'll have to hold each other back.
The one person that likely won't stick up for them? Tommy. Don't attack me yet, hear me out. We know how he was in the Begins episodes. But when he came back in 7x03 he had a dry sense of humor and an attitude that could've mixed well with the 118 (I'll admit it. I liked him in 7x03). But 7x04 emphasized not only Buck's jealousy that Eddie was spending time with Tommy, but also Tommy's jealousy of Buck and the fact he has a family at the 118 and with the Diaz boys. He has high expectations and gets pissed when they aren't met (re: expecting Buck to be completely comfortable and out for their first date just days after their kiss and then leaving him on the curb when he wasn't). He dismisses Buck's wants and concerns (not even trying for the bachelor party and then waving off Buck's worry over Bobby because his real dad's alive). That last bit, that 7x10 scene was quite deliberate.
I'm not going to get into the kink joke. That's not even an issue. But Buck was worried about his surrogate dad and wanted someone to lean on, only for Tommy to dismiss said worry and then spin it to be "woe is me" about how he didn't have that found family, or a real family. The jealousy he feels towards present day 118 keeps on being addressed. Any topic Buck discusses with him is waved off as if it means nothing. What does that mean for Gerrard being back?
Well. Tommy's "tough luck kid" attitude towards Buck isn't likely to stop. They've made no move to suggest it will. So when Buck wants to vent about how bad Gerrard is, Tommy is going to dismiss it. "I had to put up with it too, ya know." No empathy, no support, just diminishing valid worries and making Buck the butt of the joke, as always. (Side note: see a pattern? Any specific characters ring a bell... at all?)
Why does this matter? Jealousy started this relationship. Jealousy will end this relationship. Just like Abby finding herself started and ended that, Buck's job started and ended Ali, Taylor's job started and ended that, and Buck's death started and ended Nat. Jealousy (in general and involving Eddie) started BT. Catch my drift? When Tommy gets jealous that the 118 stick up for one another and support one another and when he sees Buck and Eddie lean on each other more and more, he's not going to stick around long. Will it be a confrontation? Most likely. Unless he gets the LI treatment and it happens off screen. I think it would be more fulfilling on screen and show the most growth from Buck, like the Taylor breakup did.
As for dealing with the bigot himself, he's either going to be reported, replaced, or rigor mortised. I see Bobby having to do some intense healing both physically and mentally before he returns either to work in general or as Captain (I really have no idea whether they'd basically demote him to have Gerrard or not. I don't get it pero ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯). Also, his heart stopped for 14 minutes and he just walked away?? Sure, Jan. But maybe it's a 911 miracle. Or it could be like Buck in 3x01. An injury you think is completely fine only for it to come back to haunt you. But considering Bobby mirrors Eddie, it's much more likely his mental health takes the biggest hit and gets to heal (unlike my poor Eddie. I'm still so pissed. More on that later). He also resigned. That has to be fixed. He'll probably be forced into therapy, either by the department or Athena (who should go herself and I'd be incredibly disappointed if she didn't suggest he see someone). And once that's all dealt with, he'll be back to work. How long that will take? Don't know. Whether he directly replaces Gerrard or if the jackass is already gone when he gets back? Also don't know. (Little side note that's totally unrelated: I want to see Eddie as Captain at least once. It would be interesting to see).
And then there's Ortiz, the supposed puppet master. Drama for the sake of drama. I think they just couldn't have more than two or three happy characters in a finale so they decide to traumatize the children and torture Hen and Karen as usual. I hate it. But I'm focusing on what they'll do with it. I've hated storylines before and some have been resolved, some have been dropped (for now). But what they'll do with this woman? I don't know. Will she find out Madney has Mara and go after them? I don't know. Her end goal and their plan for her is the one thing I simply cannot figure out (yet).
And the most heartbreaking and infuriating of all... My Diaz boys. I cannot begin to tell you how upset I am over that. I can't. There's so much they could've done instead and so much I hate about what they did. These boys have been fighting since day one to heal and as soon as they take a step forward, they're yanked five steps back and punished for being in pain. I cried twice yesterday talking about Chris. So I won't get into all that. My anger is not the point.
Right now, Helena is the victor. She proved herself right. Eddie is unfit, incapable, unstable. She didn't want Eddie to drag Chris down with him and Eddie has spent the entire time since she said those words preventing it. He's tried to show Chris they're enough just the two of them, that no one can tell Chris he's different, that people do stay, that running from the problem won't sto-
*Record scratch*
Yeah.
Eddie learned from experience that the Diaz way of handling everything (re: not at all) doesn't work. You can't run from the problem and expect it to go away. That's how you start piling up those boxes Frank warned him about. He knows that running doesn't work, and he (and Buck) have consistently shown Chris that staying is what matters (insert Buck's definition of love). But Helena and Ramon just showed Chris he can run from his problems.
Now, Chris is a smart kid. Like Carla said, I think he understands a lot more than we'd like him to. 7x01 broke my heart when he admitted that love didn't matter because everyone just leaves anyway. He's still in the mindset that whether or not you stay makes no difference. He's going to realize that, in fact, it does. Because the way Eddie loves him is vastly different than the way his grandparents do. And it won't take long for him to realize that. The only way Helena will see that Eddie is a good dad is if Chris confirms it.
Whether or not he and Eddie will have patched things up by the time he wants to go home is still up in the air. I think I would personally prefer to see the work they put in to repair this. I love how Eddie and Chris communicate. No matter the issue, they always talk about it eventually. It may take a little bit for them to get to that point, but when they do it's beautiful to see (the skateboard, Eddie's therapy, Chris' independence).
And speaking of communication, can they please clarify that Eddie only hugged Kim???? Everyone acted like they found them in bed together! I need that cleared up because the reactions from the others were disproportionate. (Chris I understand, but Buck implied Eddie and Kim slept together and so did the parents. Bad editing. Happened a lot this season).
As for buddie, I have no complaints on them this season at all. The communication, the openness, the vulnerability they had with each other was remarkable. We made headway this season. And now, for however long Chris is away, Eddie and Buck will only be BuckandEddie. They are the only thing each of them is allowed to have, and I'm really hoping they actually lean into that. Feelings realization on one part at the very least. What sparks it? Who knows! It could be Chris' absence making them reexamine their relationship, Tommy pointing out their bond, one of them getting hurt and the other absolutely losing it (Drown Buck 2024/ Trap Eddie 2024). (I have way more buddie specific specs but here isn't the place for them all lol). The possibilities there are endless. And I am excited for it, despite of- and in spite of- that finale.
Am I still incredibly pissed at the episode? Yeah. Was the season lackluster overall? Also yeah. Ten episodes and constantly changing plans doesn't make for a good season. But I'm still going to stay hopeful. It's a beautiful story and I'm letting them tell it, but these bonkers decisions really need to be fixed. And soon.
Anyway, if you read this I love you 🩷 (and tell me your own specs/ hopes for the next season!)
56 notes · View notes
blitzwhore · 7 hours
Text
Stolitz, and their fear of rejection and sense of worthlessness turning into a self-fulfilled prophecy.
Blitz—
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Does anybody love you, Blitzo? / No.
Eventually everyone goes...
Stolas only cares about having a rugged peasant raw-dog him into his mattress. It's nothing... You know. It's nothing else.
I'm going to die alone, aren't I? Just a wrinkly, old, withered waste.
Royal demons don't give a shit about guys like us. They're all the fucking same.
Stolas, don't act like what we have is anything but you wanting me to fuck you. You make that really clear all the time.
But you don't want to do things alone, Blitzo.
I mean, Stolas is just a loud, thirsty bitch who loves feeling the thrill of being dicked by the lower class. It's a novelty to him.
And then he'll call me and try to see how my day was, and he'll pretend to care about me, and comment on my photos, and laugh at my jokes... /Oh well that's definitely your clue right there that it's all bullshit / I know, right?!
It's all my fault. I'd hate me too. I mean, I do hate—
You're going to die alone. You're gonna die alone, Blitzo.
Tumblr media
[My worst fear has come true. He couldn't possibly want me. This has to be a joke. He's selfish and an asshole, just like the rest of them. He's trying to get rid of me; that's the only explanation. I'm just a broken toy he's finally gotten bored of, just like I knew would happen. He won't even fight for me, and why would he? I could never be good enough for him. It's happening again. I'm being abandoned by someone I care about. I really am going to die alone.]
Stolas—
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Would he want me if he was free? And if he's only here as a prisoner, what kind of monster does that make me?
I mite b bsuy / I wouldn't want to bother you!
You see... I seem to have found myself with, um. Feelings for him. And I'm not sure if it's a mutual thing.
Dearest, I know better now, I must give you this choice.
I'll save us both before we grow cold.
What's between you and I? Just a comfortable lie.
I'm sorry it's a bad time yet again, Blitzy...
He deserves the choice to stay or go.
So I'll grant you this mercy, this bind on our souls needs to end...
Next time you come over, maybe we can talk about what happened at Ozzie's? / Y? / I'm sorry! Nevermind, it's not a big deal.
What's left for me and my broken heart if I cannot have you? Unless it's me, and no matter what in this world I could give, it's not enough to get through the walls you've conjured up to live...
I'll believe him, and not the voice that says I'm not enough.
I'll fucking die alone if this goes bad!
Tumblr media
[My worst fear has come true. I truly am not worthy of being loved. He's rejecting me— no, mocking me for even thinking he could ever want to be with me if he didn't need my book. I've been taking advantage of him all this time, all the while believing we had something real and being naive enough to think he could love me back. I am a monster. And now that he can, he has chosen to leave me. So now the least I can do is quietly let him—the only person I have ever wanted and felt alive with—go. I really am going to die alone.]
33 notes · View notes
Text
I HAVE AN UNHINGED THEORY!!
What if... what if Andrew was Jeremy's brother at some point?? Okay, I know this sounds crazy and might imply that probably Jeremy's dad that we don't know about it's in fact a bad person BUT STAY WITH ME IN THIS.
Andrew lived in 12 homes in California before Cass (non of them good, btw) and we all know that Andrew was little when he did ended up with the Spears. Now, he has an eidetic memory, so he can recall this from those years, but no normal personnin their twenties would remember vividly everything that happened when they had idk 10.
Following this, remember that Jeremy is at least 2 years older than Andrew.
Jeremy does not mention once his dad's name nor his surname (thing that you may see I'm obsessed with) but we know it wasn't Knox. But why? Why would you not mention you father or think about him once specially when you have clear daddy issues sorrounding your step-father??
Unless he was a bad person. Unless his name not only brings back bad memories but it's forbidden because of something he did to the whole family.
Then we have all the issue with his brother that it's mentioned weirdly. For the sake of this theory imagine little Jeremy so very happy that he finally had a little brother to pass time with because your parents are fostering this kid that had obviously had a rough life but never gave up but then something happened and you are not sure of what because you are a kid too but the next thing you know is that your new baby brother is gone (as well as your dreams of playing and teaching him) and your father's name is a bad word.
He would still considered him his brother but because all of this Andrew (or "the blonde quiet kid he barely remembers") is not mentioned often to people when Jeremy talks about his family, but it would make sense that his best friends know about it.
Also Jeremy goes to therapy and he sure had a lot of other stuff going on as people normally have, but the girls mentioned that a GOOD therapist can change a person A LOT. And if that therapist had to deal with all this trauma is fair to think that maybe Jeremy reacted badly to this sudden change and how the rest of the family could start again as if nothing happened when they became Knox.
Andrew probably remembers Jeremy, but we don't know because he didn't talk about this with Neil at least during the books, but he maybe talked to Betsy before they had to play the Trojans.
And I know this is something hanging by a literal thread but in a way I want to think that Jeremy and Andrew had a bond of some sort and that is something that affects both of them to this day, so yeah.
22 notes · View notes
dutyworn · 4 months
Text
Tumblr media
@anderwhohn said: 6) one muse discovers the other has placed themselves in a dangerous, under cover situation and steps in to help but gives them a severe look when no one is watching to indicate their disapproval. / from Nihlus, with Wren being undercover?
an old meme    /    PROBABLY ACCEPTING ↷
Tumblr media
She keeps in-character, merely giving Nihlus a raise of a brow at the way he looks at her, clearly not a fan of her approach. She can handle herself. There’s a chance Wren is projecting, but she can’t help but feel like Nihlus keeps thinking of her as his mentee, and only his mentee.  She respects him,  as a Spectre and as her mentor, but while she is under his mentorship and thus technically below him in that particular chain of command, she’s also the commanding officer of the Normandy and he’s a part of her team, flipping the power dynamic. They’re both in charge.
She’s not gone behind his back on any purpose at all. The situation had simply called for her to make a decision on her own; without a team, without access to communications, but with a unique opportunity to dig deeper into Binary Helix... She’s stashed most of her gear in a hotel room, gone shopping, and is now passing herself as a socialite wife of a businessman, attending a party on her fake-spouse’s behalf.
Tumblr media
Stacking a few appetisers on a plate, she subtly glances around to make sure no one is actively paying attention to them, before saying,    ❝ I wasn’t aware you were invited. ❞
And she is happy to see him. It’s been a few days; she’s been trying to figure out a way to contact the ship to help her team track her down.
For the event, she wasn’t able to risk bringing a weapon, so she’s completely unarmed. Still, she has her omnitool (the perks of it being an implant rather than a wearable band), and as long as she doesn’t cause a scene, no one should realise she’s not supposed to be here. No one here, sans Nihlus, knows her in person, so the subtle cloaking filter combined with her attire should make anyone unable to recognise her as Commander Shepard, as well.
1 note · View note
wired-heartbeats · 5 months
Text
For the record I think Vox is being effected and possibly swayed by Val’s poison just like Angel is, the pink signifying it on Angel shows up on Voxs screen during and after interacting and being influenced by Val directly, when Vox is operating independently it isn’t an actual normal feature of his
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
This paired with an earlier moment from episode 2 when Val first mentioned something had happened with Angel Dust, Vox seemed happy about the idea of Angel quitting
Tumblr media
“He quit? :D”
It’s interesting for sure, makes me wonder what Vox actually thinks about Angel, and more importantly, actually thinks about Valentino. He’s a business man, and clearly the Vees all teamed up (at least initially) because it helps elevate their status and power spread, they may be friendly with each other but we as an audience don’t actually know if there’s more to it as of now. But still, interesting
1K notes · View notes
turtleblogatlast · 2 months
Text
Tumblr media
Don’t think I ever quite said what my LGBTQ+ headcanons are for the boys, so these are my current thoughts! Always changing of course but this is what I feel most strongly right now.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt headcanons#rise donnie#rise leo#rise mikey#rise raph#donnie and leo’s sexualities being practically swapped was unintentional but it works way too well#same with mikey and raph tbh it was a happy accident#anyway I kinda hc raph as the type who doesn’t care about physical appearance just if you fight lol#Mikey’s more than happy with friends and family#Donnie is a BIG romantic but he needs time to sus a person out fully before he gets the hots for them#leo meanwhile isn’t keen on romance unless it’s with someone he grows to really really REALLY trust#I could go on and probably will later (knowing me) but it is late and I am tired haha#turtle art tag#curious as to what everyone else headcanons#the only one of these I’ll defend forever is Bi (female-leaning) donnie and trans leo#all the others can change over time but I really like where they’re sitting right now#I hope these are the right flags too because it was kinda hard to find them#went looking for transmasc flag in particular but I couldn’t find a solid agreed upon version 😭#ngl a big part of why I hc mikey as aro is because of a pun#my phone often misspells aromantic as aromatic and- and you get it- because aromatic herbs and- and Mikey is a chef do YOU GET IT#note that while I hc leo as bisexual (male-leaning) I still think he’s prob closer to demi in that as well just not as far into the spectrum#if that makes sense#headcanons are fun and hard to narrow down at the same time alas#I made this in like an hour can you tell djjdjd#I drew them all from memory so if there’s anything wrong…shhh#and if you’re wondering for April and Splinter#Both are Bisexual (female-leaning) but April is also Panromantic#I almost wanna make Splinter demiromantic too so Big Mama’s betrayal hits just a bit harder
203 notes · View notes
gifti3 · 10 months
Text
I like to to think mcs who wouldnt fall into the conventionally attractive category getting shooked when multiple demons find them attractive
#and i dont mean in a 'ur scary looking' way#unless thats what the person reading this would want of course#but uk theres kinda a look thats in right now#so what if its different in the devildom?#i would hope they arent constrained to a super strict beauty standard like humans tend to be#like they are more willing to engage with a variety of features#if that makes sense#its kinda like how ud think someone is gorgeous but society says the opposite#so ur definition of attractive is more broad in a sense#but i wanna take that thinking and apply that to a whole country lol#of course everyone still has their own preferences but theyre still very open to other things#like i prefer pancakes over waffles but i still like both of them and sometimes i want waffles more#anyways i think this would be cool u know#like 'wow i never got this much attention before this is almost jarring'#obey me#obey me nightbringer#the idea is interesting and i think it would make sense!#if uve lived long enough i feel like ud be more flexible right?? cause youve had more exposure and experiences to different people#i mean the brothers all liking mc regardless of looks could be good proof#theyre very different in personality but they all still find mc good looking#what i guess im trying to say is that demons in general are more versatile when it comes to looks or something like that#see how i said looks#cause they still be hating on angels and humans#tbh im giving this game more credit than i should#but i think the idea would at least be interesting to consider
48 notes · View notes
Text
hate how im now at a point where im legit like kicking my legs and grinning like an idiot over fictional characters SEND HELP
#take One Guess who im talking about. YES ITS KOI BOI#hes so prettyyyyy and cute and lovely and i love looking at him i wanna hear him speak and laugh and sing just AAAAAAAAAAAA#(turns to my own brain) BITCH WE ARE MEANT TO BE AROACE WHY ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH TWO FICTIONAL CRIMINALS WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?????#my brain: (that fuckin anime girl gif from evangelion (i think??))#like fuuuuuck man is it self shipping if u use a proxy? like. hes an oc but he's a stand in for me. he is me and i am him but we also arent#he is his own person and i am my own our lives are very very different but i use him to express love for Mad Dog and Koi Boy#cause they could actually love him if i were in their world i wouldnt stand a chance but my boy has one so he loves them for me#its far easier to imagine him kissing them than it is for me to imagine myself kissing them but that might be because im wired weird#idk it *feels* like it counts yknow. my dumbass out here gettin jealous when i see a Certain Ship cause like i disagree with it on#a Fundamental Level. and on TOP of that half the time the art is so CUTE and im like 'motherfucker that should be ME' or i guess my lad but#STILL am i making sense?? doesnt help that i worry im like. misreading what content i have but also fuck you i can do what i want and also#i get him more than yall kgyugkhjhk (jk jk. Unless) basically when i call them my boyfriends i fuckin mean it#look its Real Missing Nishiki Hours i love him i wanna kiss his perfect face someone shoulda shown him love i could save him and he could#make me worse <3 I Want Him#and do not get me wrong i may be focused on him but Majima is still my wifey too!!! hes mine you cant have her <3#i just have koi boy brainrot i very much desire them Both (YES THAT MIGHT BE WHY I SHIP THEM TOO LOOK I ALSO THINK THEYD WORK WELL TOGETHER#OR AT LEAST HAVE A FUN DYNAMIC TO EXPLORE I SHOULD DATE THEM AND THEY SHOULD DATE EACH OTHER WE ALL HAVE 2 HANDS)#might delete this in the mornin who knows but im feelin silly i wanna talk about them i wanna talk about my boy but idk if ppl would really#GET IT yknow i can think of maybe Two People and that INCLUDES bestie but just aaaa point is i love my koi boy so much hes so lovely <3 <3
13 notes · View notes
maddy-ferguson · 5 months
Text
i'm studying with notes that aren't mine and tell me why the person uses parentheses ( like this ) i genuinely think there's something wrong with them
#and like i say: brf slt#and they use them way more than the average person too i have to erase the extra space every single time#i know i can't complain because well if i wanted notes to be written the way i want i should have just gone to class and the content#is there so like it's fine. but OH MY GOD#people literally can't write? i know it's hard i know about dyslexia and everything i know it's elitist to expect everyone to be able to#write perfectly but it's actually astounding how bad people are at this am i the only one who can write without making three mistakes#in one sentence anymore society...it's actual sentences not notes they took quickly in the moment like this is them making an effort#i think my biggest pet peeve is the way people use commas. the syntax in general is abysmal it's criminal. and that's coming from me the#person who writes like this on social media#i read a lot as a kid and i've always been very good at like writing without making any mistakes whether it was conjugation grammar or#spelling i don't know why but it always came naturally to me and so i just genuinely do not understand how people can make so many mistakes#that their sentences don't make sense anymore it doesn't compute for me. like i know the objective reasons but it's just not something i'm#capable of understanding😭#i think one of the reasons why i could always write well is i see every word i think/say/hear in my head like visually without me doing#anything like automatically since forever? not forever i don't know what it was like before i could read but it's not like anyone#remembers what not reading is like once they know how to read. but yeah when i tell people this they're always like no this is not a thing#for me and i'm like okay...#but anyway. i don't comment on people's writing mistakes unless it's my sister because it's like rude and again i know it's shitty to be#like you can't write are you stupid because there's a lot of reasons but it's also yk the way we communicate so it's nice to actually#understand what the other person is saying#this doesn't apply to the way i write in the tags of my posts and elsewhere. btw. 😁#doesn't even apply to english in general actually. tbh. but i type the exact same way in french so it's not a language thing#it's a me thing
1 note · View note
mrfoox · 1 year
Text
Me: (:
Someone: uh, neither Oliver or Magnus will come by tomorrow...
Me: :(
#miranda talking shit#I know that the schedule always changes early weeks and one shouldnt rely on them so much but each time im sad#I wish i had the authority/will and also lack of compassion to complain but i dont#I know they have a hard time as it is to get everything working and organizing etc... So i dont want to be an extra problem#Also know at least Oliver is well liked by everyone so im probably not the only one that just lets him visit oops#Magnus i think could be similar. I can see some old grumpy people be mad at him but i think many must like having him come by#I wish i was more comfortable with others coming... But no i borderline hate it. Its fine two days a week bc i got cleaning then anyway so#I can just clean with them and i dont have to interact much... But meh ):#Only one im fine enough with coming by besides those two is an lady but she only works part time now so i rarely see her#I understand why its hard for me bc like... Its in my diagnose criteria/info. Change is harder for me especially in every day things#But i wish i could be more comfortable with it. I have never had things adjusted to me like at all until i was an adult and got my diagnose#So im still so uncomfortable to demand or ask for changes. Meanwhile everyone else like even Oliver 'miranda its okay to say you dont like#X person and dont want them to come here. I'll tell the people planning and they'll adjust it' meanwhile im sobbing at rhe floor#Like no... I dont want to be a problem... An issue.. I dont want to be a bother or mean or rude or-#Doesnt help the one other person i did like and wanted to come by quit... I got Magnus soon after and fortunately loved him#But yeah. The other guy i was okay with also quit so now im like oops... My pool of people i dont want to die around is shrinking help#Anyway ignore my rant it probably doesnt make sense unless you know my full situation#Short story i dont like people and i only get along with a small pool of them and i wish they could be the only ones i saw#For someone who likes to get to know people ... I also have such a limited criteria for which type of people doesnt steal energy from me#I like a lot of people but so few arent energy theifs. And even fewer even GIVE me energy#The two who give me energy i wish i could see every day but alas...
0 notes
shotmrmiller · 4 months
Text
soulmate au part 1
john price x f!reader
wc: 1.2k
unedited, forgive my mistakes.
Tumblr media
since you were born, your world has been grey. you never thought anything of it, until at school, they started teaching you colours. the only ones in the room that could see more than just different shades of grey, apart from the teacher, were identical twins.
weird.
you went home and asked your parents.
"we are born missing half of ourselves. we have a fated one, and when you meet them, your world will look the way it was meant to."
oh. but... "in class, there were twins that could see colour. what about them?"
they look surprised for a second until your dad softly explains. "in rare instances, the soulmate bond will be platonic. which makes sense in this case, because twins grow up with a connection regular people like us will never understand."
you nod and lower your gaze to look at your shoes. you wonder if the person meant for you is interested in junie b. jones books like you are.
-
in high school, you crush on this pretty girl— a cheerleader. her hair is long and beautiful, her face is small and round, and she's so kind. just your type.
but no colour stains your vision, so you burrow your emotions deep and mourn the loss of what could've been.
-
in college, one of your friends ask you if you've met your soulmate yet.
"no, not yet," you lament. what she says after freezes the blood in your veins.
"my mom knew someone whose soulmate was already dead before they had even been born," she comments while stabbing a grape tomato with her fork. "it was really tragic, because she'll never know what it's like to know a love that has no equal."
your heart is in your throat, and you find it hard to swallow the food in your mouth.
what if your soulmate is already dead? oh, god. you might just throw up. your friend doesn't seem to notice the change in your demeanor and continues to babble carelessly about how she knew someone that knew someone who's soulmate had turned out to be a murderer.
oh my fucking god.
you quickly run to the bathroom and throw up your lunch.
how cruel is the universe? to have no control over who is meant to be for you.
you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand and lean against the stall of the bathroom. you should've known that this soulmate business was too good to be true.
cupping your hands, you rinse the taste of bile out of your mouth before walking back to your friend who stayed in her seat.
"jesus, you look terrible, you alright?" she asks.
running your fingers through your hair, you huff. "i've certainly been better. just got a bit nauseous, nothing serious. maybe it's a stomach bug."
"oooh, you better not be pregnant! what of your dreams of working in the medical field?"
you giggle at her response. "that'd be impossible unless i'm the virgin mary."
she gapes comically then leans in and whispers, "you're lying! don't tell me you haven't dated anyone just because they weren't your soulmate."
you shrug, and keep your eyes fixed on your half-eaten plate of food. "i don't really wanna talk about it, if that's alright with you. besides, you've got bigger things to worry about, like the upcoming exam for mr. richardson."
slapping a hand to her forehead, she exclaims, "oh, shit! i totally forgot! shit!"
you watch her inhale the rest of her salad and toss her trash before waving goodbye and sprinting toward the library.
with a sigh, you look down at your food. grey. lifeless. shaking your head, you pick up your plate and toss it in the bin.
you decide to focus solely on your studies. you have dreams of being a doctor and pining after someone you haven't even met yet would only serve as a distraction.
--
your white coat grazes your calves as you walk toward your new patient. standing outside the room, you pick up the clipboard.
Price, John. 34, Active Military.
he's the head of the task force! god, you've only heard stories of them from the other medics on base who have met them, so to finally come face to face with the man, the myth, the legend? you wipe your clammy hands on the fabric of your scrubs and clear your throat.
be professional, be professional. he's just another patient, it's no big deal.
rapping your knuckles on the door, you wait a second before twisting the knob with a shaky hand. you nervously keep your eyes on the clipboard as you walk in.
"good morning, captain price."
"mornin', doc," he rumbles.
oh, his deep voice just might be the end of you.
"you don't sound all that happy to be here, captain," you tease while flipping through his medical history papers.
he lets out a low chuckle, and you squeeze your thighs together at the sound. delicious.
"nothin' personal, doc. just don't like bein' here, you understand."
lightly laughing at his joke, you finally steel your nerves and look up at him.
only to have your vision bleed in something you don't understand. is that colour? is this what colour looks like?
the clipboard drops, clattering to the floor. john— being the courteous gentleman that he is— quickly kneels to grab it and lifts his head as he hands it to you.
he freezes in place, the clipboard slipping from his hands as he stares at you.
you thickly swallow, and dumbly question, "do you...has your....colour? can you see colour?"
unblinking, john's eyes are fixated on you as he remains silent.
your eyes dart around to take in his features. his brightly-coloured eyes are framed by lines that hint at his age, his strong jaw adorned by a mutton-chop beard. his nose is specked with a beauty mark.
"what colour are your eyes, captain?" you softly ask.
he closes his mouth and takes in a sharp breath. "i've been told they're blue."
"blue," you smile. the eyes of your soulmate are blue.
but then, your delighted smile melts off your face, in horror.
there's a shiny band on his finger. he's married.
john price, your soulmate, is fucking married.
your vision distorts with the tears that threaten to spill and bite your bottom lip to stop it from trembling. it feels like there are shards of glass in your lungs, cutting you open with each quivering breath you take. your pain is red-hot, searing under your skin, flowing through your veins like molten lead.
john knows exactly what you're looking at.
"love—" he starts but you cut him off swiftly.
"don't. you don't owe me anything, captain. uhm, but uh... maybe it's best that we switch your doctors, yeah? conflict of interest, and all that."
you all but run away, away from that room, from him.
how terribly unlucky.
you head towards your office, which is down the hall, and slam the door closed. only then, do you cry, and mourn what should've been.
2K notes · View notes
moongreenlight · 8 months
Text
John ‘Soap’ ‘won’t take no for an answer’ MacTavish
Mdni. Nsfw below cut.
You break up because of his work, not because you don’t love him anymore. It feels unfair that he’s always getting dragged away for work and that you’re expected to sit and wait him out. You make the mistake of saying the two of you could stay friends. Truly not thinking much of it. A real right person, wrong time situation. He takes it as more of a challenge.
You sometimes worry he doesn’t think the two of you are broken up. Still invites you out for drinks twice a week when he can. Squashes you both into one side of the booth so he can throw his arm around your shoulders and nuzzle into the crook of your neck. He only has one beer, but keeps ordering you cocktails and encourages you to drink up to soothe your nerves. You think it’s a coincidence the first few times when you’re too drunk to drive and he insists you come stay the night at his place. He’ll drive you home in the morning.
You try to tell him you’ll sleep on the couch just so the lines don’t blur. He just smiles and nods and continues jabbering on about nothing. It doesn’t take him long to get handsy when he’s stopped at a red light. Spreads his hand over your thigh and fusses with the hem of your skirt. You don’t think you’re stopped at the light for very long, but by the time it turns green again he’s already pushed your panties out of the way and stuffed two fingers inside of you. Talks over your moans and soft keening noises and tells you that he’s glad he was with you tonight. Could have been picked up by some sick bastard because you never did know your limit.
“‘S’alright, dollie. Always got a place with me.”
He stops working his fingers a heartbeat before you’re about to come. Pulls them out and licks them clean after he parks out front of his flat. Doesn’t bother helping you out of the car, just lets you stumble after him in a haze.
You’re convinced the sex is somehow better than when you were dating. He ebbs and flows between being sickly sweet and meaner than you’ve ever seen him. Shoves you down on his bed and immediately tucks in on your cunt. Cooing directly into your sex about how he’s missed her. She’s so pretty. It’s cruel of you to keep him from such a pretty pussy.
He strictly fucks you in positions that ensure he can see your face. Clamps down on your chin and forces you to look up at him when he’s splitting you open. Doesn’t let you come on his cock unless you’re saying his name and making eye contact. Pulls out while you’re trying to clench around his length if your eyes roll back. Gives you a mean pinch to your nipple and smacks your clit a few times until you’re teary and begging for him.
Sometimes he flat out refuses to put it back in unless you say you love him. Runs his cock through your soaked folds and leaves you to whine and cry under him for a few minutes until you take the hint and slur some cockdrunk nonsense about how only he can fuck you like this. You miss him. You still love him so much.
This drives him insane. He takes your words to heart. Convinces himself he just needs to try harder to get you back. If you’re saying all this, then he’s still got a chance. He’ll bury himself deep into you and piston his hips with no further regard to your pleasure after that. Bottoms out inside you and still somehow tries to fill you further when he paints your walls with his release. Bites down hard on your shoulder or your neck and leaves a sickly yellow bruise around the indent of his teeth. Snarls in your ear about how he knows you still need him because if you didn’t then you wouldn’t be letting him do this. Marks you like he still feels a sense of ownership.
After the first dozen few times, you sit him down and try to tell him that you can’t do this anymore. It’s making things too hard on the both of you. He smooths your hair and kisses away your tears on his couch. Shushes you sweetly when you sniffle and go on about how you wish things were different. He fucks you more gently that night before you leave.
2K notes · View notes
astrobydalia · 5 months
Text
🪐 Astro Observations!!!✨
Happy 2024 babes! Here’s to another year sharing astrology stuff with all of you 🤩
work by astrobydalia
Tumblr media
Yes water moons have great intuition and could be psychic but I very often notice they tend to allow their personal feelings interfere with their decisions and could tend to not follow their intuition as much. The ones that have a more reliable or unbiased intuition imo are Earth moons and Aquarius moon.
Scorpio Venus really do gravitate to unhealthy relationships… All their connections tend to have unfair or imbalanced dynamics to them where there’s no equal give and take. They believe love means throwing yourself and your life away for another person (or they expect someone to give everything away for them) with little to nothing in return. They may not understand the difference between deep intimacy and unhealthy attachment
Libra placements and their ability to appear likable even when they have the shittiest personality deep down
In my opinion Moon is the most important planet if you really wanna begin to know someone at their core. Ultimately no planet can give you full info without the context of the whole chart tho (#AllPlanetsMatter), but you can really uncarcarve sm about someone just by moon placement/aspects/degree, etc. Moon rules your needs and so it really cements your personality and its an energy that you'll project in so many areas of your life (relationships, career, etc)
Fixed Mars are ARGUMENTATIVE fr fr. They need to have the last word and will die on that hill if they have to💀Honorable mention: Virgo/Gemini Mars due to Mercury influence but they’re more about friendly banter and aren’t as stubborn
80% of Aries Moons I've met were very philosophical/spiritual/religious. They can develop a self-awareness that gives them a lot of wisdom. The other 20% were just adult toddlers and very egotistic...
Capricorn placements and their internalized elitism. They really do believe some people are better than others which is the shadow of Capricorn unfortunately
Aquarius Moons are some of the most traumatized people I know fr fr. Whenever I get to know their life and backstory Im always like bro….😶😶 It makes me so sad cause they always bring such good vibes everywhere (they have a playful aura) when in reality there’s a depth of pain underneath you wouldn’t even fathom through that unbothered persona. The OG misunderstood.
We all know Scorpio is all about depth, intensity and looking beyond the surface but I’ve very often observed the exact opposite in scorpio placements. They could tend to be very superficial, greedy and materialistic, more obsessed with wealth and status than any earth placement (it all comes down to power). In such cases their interest in occult or deep topics could also be superficial or opportunistic, like they only see it as something that could give them a leg up in life or help them avoid unseen threats but that's about it.
Cancer Risings do not come across as sensitive at all. They tend to have a rather sassy personality and are pretty defensive 90% of the time tbh. Think about it, are crabs 🦀 cute and cuddly? No, you actually actually have to be very careful around one cause they sting lol. They do wear their heart on their sleeves and are very sensitive and perceptive but because of this they constantly feel like their vulnerability is out for everyone to see hence the guarded attitude.
^I've also noticed they are VERY opinionated and will hold on very tightly to how they think/feel about something. This results in having a reputation for being kinda bold and sharp (Aries 10th). Pro tip: do NOT question these native's morals or integrity unless you wanna see a very snappy side to them, they respond very very very badly if you even insinuate that they might be hypocritical in their values/what matters to them
The interpretation that Aquarius in the 4th house means you’re an outcasted black sheep in the family low-key doesn’t make sense to me tbh. Aquarius is the sign of camaraderie, friendship, inclusivity and community. All the people that I’ve seen with this placement were actually very bonded to their roots and considered their family (and the people they bonded with during childhood) to be "their people" (they also keep their friends close to heart). These natives do tend to distinct themselves as they grow up but this is due to Leo 10th house. I've noticed their family is in general very supportive of them or at the very least they received some input in their upbringing that made them feel special and/or like their uniqueness was celebrated. Feel free to share your opinion/experience tho
I've noticed Virgo Mars people have a perfect balance between being confident in themselves and fulling trusting their abilities while also staying humble and acknowledge room for improvement. Very mature and self-accountable and they're also great people to work with cause they are highly appreciative of good contribution
Sagittarius placements and their ability to be casually rude in a charming way??? 😭
Moon in the 10th house do not have a reputation for being emotional at all, it's quite the opposite they dislike exposing their feelings like that. A lot of their energy is spent trying to appear put-together and emotionally stable. The ones I've noticed have a reputation for being moody or sensitive are Mars in the 10th house
Venus-Moon aspects probably grew up in an environment that fed up this idea they had to be beautiful and conventionally likable in order to be worthy of love. These natives tend to base their self-worth on the amount of emotional validation they get from others and struggle telling the difference between kindness and love
A couple notes on everyone’s fave topic: 8th house synastry
We all know this overlay deals with power dynamics. On a general basis I’ve noticed it’s the planet person who tends to have the upper hand. Exeption: Moon. When your moon falls in someone’s 8th house you tend to be vulnerable one due to the soft nature of this planet, but the house person secretly feels more intimidated
You will NAWT be able to keep secrets from someone you have 8th house synastry with specially if you’re the house person. Sooner or later they’ll see through you, circumstances might force you to expose yourself or you’ll simply feel drawn to revealing the truth to them. With water synastry in general you will feel drawn to share more deep or hidden parts of yourself/your life but with the 8th house you can’t help it, like there’s almost an accusatory tension between the two that grows the more you try to hide something from them
Something I see no one mentioning about 8th house synastry is the planet person always feels intimidated by the house person's success. The planet person will try to take part in the house person's success by taking some credit and have a sense of control over what belongs to the house person, it's giving Kanye's "I made that bitch famous". At best the planet person would want to help boost the house person's endeavors. Either way, when someone's planets land on your 8th house, you will never feel like something is completely yours anymore, somehow the planet person will "take" something away from you that you can't get back making you feel like you owe them or they owe you something big (8th house=debt), which is why this overlay very often goes south and tends to be very depleting.
If we're talking business (which 8th house deals with that) the house person is likely to take a risk on the planet person, invest on them (can be money, time, resources, trust, etc) in hopes that it'll pay off. The house person is most likely to loose something from their involvement with the planet person, but they can also gain a lot from the planet person if the investment pays off. In either case, one could tend to exploit the other if there’s any ill intent from the individual
Water mars people are very smothering in their affection tbh. Once you’ve been chosen, get ready to be bombarded by their attention a bit more each time. Secret stalker vibes.This doesn’t always mean they love you tho, if underdeveloped they may want to “bond” in order to have emotional control over you and use you. For them it’s easy to get what they want through manipulation so leading people on or fooling around is something they tend to do a lot
Going back to the affection topic, water venus are smothering too but they go about their obsession devotion in a much more soft and non-domineering way where they give a lot of power away to their partner
People with Gemini+Scorpio placements in their chart embody the mischievous trickster archetype fr fr. They’re funny but also a menace. Have an ease to become that type of deceitful manipulator who thrives in chaos
I have a theory that your Moon represents the kind of bond or relationship you have with your mother but Ceres represents how your mother actually is
Capricorn and Scorpio placements are huge tsunderes imo 😭
Chiron in Sagittarius/9th house have become disappointed with religious and/or academic institutions. For them both systems are essentially flawed and don't work or don't make sense
+When it comes to religion I've seen a lot of them being atheist and skeptics. Some others still believed in god/universe/etc. but they did not want to support any stablished religious institution and instead have preferred to craft their own belief system. In both cases, they saw the institutionalization of believe systems as something that hindered their freedom of thought and expansion
+When it comes to academics a very similar thing happens. They felt like collage and the educational system restricted their mind instead of expanding it so they just preferred to walk their own path and find growth elsewhere. A friend of mine with this placement quit collage and the other people I've seen who did finish it all said they had a kinda dreadful and/or unfulfilling collage experience which they low-key regret
If you’ve ever felt powerless in the house where you have your pluto, that’s because you gave your power away to the opposite house. For example, if you have Pluto in the 5th house and you felt powerless when it comes to expression, your creativity, etc that’s because you gave too much power to the public opinion/peer pressure (11th house) and what they may say about you if you express yourself genuinely
Scorpio Moons always battle with that "am I a good person?", "am I a monster deep down?" inner conflict. They are more in touch with darker emotions and experiences than the average person so for them it's particularly easy to channel their shadow. This can often make them doubt their own integrity or think they are doomed to never feel happiness and inner peace. This is moon's debilitation for a reason, their inner emotional world is ruled by chaos and turmoil and they tend to be a bit too comfortable (moon) in toxicity and drama, nothing is ever light-hearted for them. If developed this ability of staying in touch with the shadow side of things can actually give them lots of awareness and resilience for the darker sides of the world as well as a very solid moral compass and compassion
Leo Moons likely had grandiose standards forced on them that inflated their self-importance. It's giving "mommy told me I am the best and most special of all" which is great but now they be carrying that mindset for the rest of their lives and this is where lot of their infamous sensitivity and fragile ego comes from cause not fulfilling these standards deeply hurts their heart. In consequence they tend to be more unprepared to accept humbling experiences that'll make them mature
virgo risings are funny!!!! I haven't seen anyone mention this, but every virgo rising I've met cracked me UP, they are so witty and never misse a chance to throw in a cheeky joke every 2 minutes. I think this is overlooked because they keep a rather awkward demeanor to them which often makes for a rather dry delivery. Best examples of this are Ryan Raynolds, Keanue Reeves, Emma Watson, Cole Sprouse...
Also, all Virgo risings I've met tend to come across as huge snobs so it's very common that people don't take their humor or friendliness seriously
Honestly I've noticed this theme with Virgo/6th house inner placements in general where their judgemental nature always makes them unfriendly or snarky to some degree. They can be the kind of people who are never happy with anything and always have a bone to pick.
My main theory as to why Leo risings are the most shy out of all Leo placements is because a lot of them grew up in very problematic and dysfunctional families (Scorpio 4th house) where they were shamed for showing vulnerability or being genuine (Cancer 12th house)
I’ve noticed Aries Suns and Capricorn Suns tend to relate a lot to their fathers, they tend to have very similar character traits as their fathers. For good or for bad their relationship with their father is always very important in their personality.
I find that LEO Suns and Sagittarius Suns always be having daddy issues tho like 😭😭😭😭
One thing about Capricorn is they can be literal billionaires and yet will still refuse to spend a dime on something they think is not worth it
Mutable Moons don’t commit 10000% to things, they’re the type to always have a foot out just in case. They're most likely to commit to things if they don't feel forced or expected to stay permanently
Cardinal energy is very consistent and responsable. People with prominent cardinal placements have a really developed sense of agency, focus and direction (imo this will be more obvious with moon, mars and asc). There's something about them that always gives me this put together "I've got this" kinda vibe, they always seem like they've got it together and always know what to do even when they're lost.
Fixed mercuries and their inability to understand or accept that two different points can be true
Sun/Leo in the 3rd house could want to have a nice car, an expensive or luxurious car from a well-known brand
I’ve seen people saying Venus-Mars conjunction gives it girl vibes. This is also HIGHLY true for Mars-ruled Venus (Aries/Scorpio Venus) or Venus-ruled Mars (Libra/Taurus Mars)
Tumblr media
work by astrobydalia
1K notes · View notes
jazjelspen · 4 months
Text
my angel baby [part 2]
(alastor w/ angel daughter reader)
[caution: NOT PROOFREAD oh and angst hehe]
(notes: alastor joins charlie and vaggie in heaven to convince them about the hazbin hotel. angel reader physically resembles a fawn. )
[tags: @luujjvi @c-lunette @mokisano @ghostdoodlen @wildfire153 @anonymousewrites @bewitchedbymadness @thisbitchreallyneedssleep @22carolina08 @original-person]
[remember if you want to keep in touch with a particular series I write, let me know in comments or messages you want to be tagged! you will only be tagged once unless specified that you want to be tagged till the end of a particular series!]
(also once again, apologies if alastor’s last name isn’t actually altruist qwq it’ll stick till the end of this fic but I’ll try not to mention it as much)
For the first time in years, you feared being in heaven.
Not that you felt unsafe, just that you felt incredibly uncomfortable seeing your serial killer dad who's now a demon be invited to be in the place where light and goodness is it's main foundation.. even reassuring yourself that it was temporary didn't calm you down when you were flying away from him. For your own sake you even avoided where the welcoming was happening.
Ahh but.. it also didn't help that he was following you around after the show without you knowing.
After the angels had performed their song to welcome in the princess of hell, her apparent partner, and-- him.. everyone sort of went their separate ways and the visitors from below started to relax in their new yet temporary places of stay. You felt a bit of relief when you assumed Alastor would also be setting himself in to relax as well.
During heaven's performance you decided to take a breather at a local coffee shop, one where you thankfully always had a spot there where you could hide away from the huge windows of the cafe.
Although right after that, unbeknownst to you at the time, Alastor was looking for you, but obviously pretended as if he was looking for a good bite to eat.. unfortunately for him he had to behave and he couldn't eat a living walking thing until after they came back home.
Oh how bummed out he was.
You were in a far corner inside the shop, as mentioned before anyone that was able to look in through the windows wouldn't be able to see you since you were out of view. Drinking your favorite beverage that the shop offered and eating a filling snack to relax your body and mind. Safe to say you were now more in touch with your feelings and weren't overly panicked as you once were.
'Why is he here.. is he an advisor to the princess? a companion?.. some kind of servant?.. she's really young though, perhaps she's ward to him or something.. but she has her.. dad.. and I'm sure he must be alive still.. ' You thought, different theories and ideas passing by in and out your head trying to make sense of the situation.
'perhaps.. he's here to see me?..' you hoped, then scolded yourself right after,
'nono.. I can't be wanting that.. sure he raised you but he's a monster. he killed you, _____. get a grip..' you sighed deeply while massaging your temples in frustration 'even if he seemed to not.. have meant to do that. he tried to kill someone else anyway, that poor man could've died instead of you.' you tried to reason with yourself, coming to a single conclusion in the end.
Eyes glued to your drink. staring at it with intensity.
"I regret nothing." you claimed to yourself in a low mumble, not enough for anyone close to hear.
Ahh.. but you did miss him very much.. the version of him that you grew up with at least.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You were in your warm and humble home with your father. It was a fairly cold night with rain dropping onto the roof of your home yet the warmth of the house seemed to make the cold seem almost cozy to you.
Your small footsteps could be heard running around the house, as your little seven year old self ran around you seemed to be giggling uncontrollably with a peculiar circular item in your hand.
"No running in the house _____, remember what I told you." Alastor exclaimed in slight irritation as he could hear you from afar while he was cleaning up the table from the dinner you two just had, he started slightly missing the times when you didn't know how to walk and when you simply just blabbered baby nonsense.. he definitely doesn't miss the sleepless nights of baby crying though.
You huffed and puffed as you then plopped the item on the sofa, it was a disk, a record. You then climbed yourself up and once your little body landed on the cushions you then picked yourself up once more to then grab the disk and turn to the small table right beside the sofa where a large phonograph rested on.
"Papa!" you exclaimed, "Papa! Music music!.." you pleaded, your little voice begging to once again turn on the music playing machine.
Alastor faintly chuckled at your little demands, amusing how such a small thing dares to command but nonetheless he found it silly at how you tried. "Yes yes my dear, I'll be right there." He then set the last few dirty dishes away to be cleaned soon since he couldn't say no to listening to some tunes before bed.
You smiled brightly as your little feet playfully tapped on the cushions, almost jumping. Noticing your developing excitement Alastor hurried over to you.
"Ah-ah-ahh, no jumping on the sofa my dear. I'm excited as well but I can't have you break your little head open, that'd be no fun at all!" Well.. that and he didn't wanna ruin his cushions, but nonetheless he cared for your wellbeing the most even if he wasn't fond of admitting it.
His hands gently took the disk from your hands, carefully setting the disk on the phonograph to have it play your favorite tunes. Once you two heard the amazing first few notes of jazz was when Alastor settled down beside you on the sofa and you started clapping in delight.
Alastor looked at you almost fondly, letting out a small huff of delight at your reactions. Your innocence seemed to be something that contained him from wanting to continue his murder spree, although his bloodlust always wins in the end, he seems to always willingly pause his life for you.
Plus, he loves jazz just as much as you do.. why would he miss out on this?
Your fit of giggles dwindled down but didn't stop, in a sudden burst of energy you jumped off the sofa and then started dancing similarly yet obviously a bit more goofy to how you've seen couples and single dancers dance in the nights of Mardi Gras or just parties your father took you when he would be invited. Your little dance moves seemed to be fiddled with confidence yet they were so off from what you were trying to attempt, nonetheless you were happy, and that's what Alastor secretly liked to see.
"Dance with me papa dance with me!" you pleaded again, your smaller hands grabbing his larger one and tugging at it, trying to get him to stand up.
"_____ darling no tugging, besides I just sat down my dear and I'm exhausted." He sighed, his constant smile always present yet he was visibly a bit tired from the day he had.
But oh how you persisted, and how darn adorable you were as a kid. "But papaaa!.. pretty please! I wanna dance how you and that singing lady did the last time we went on those big loud places!"
"Parties, dear." he corrected you, but let out a long sigh and got up. Because no matter how tired he was or how annoyed he seemed to be he didn't mind keeping you happy.
So that's what he did, he danced with you. Swinging you, twirling you around to the melody and the beat, your cheers of glee and uncontrollable laughter motived him to keep up with your excitement. Not only that but your smile, genuine and pure, it was what he needed to get himself to match your energy. Jazz music was what always connected you two and it always brought you together no matter what.
At the end of the song Alastor ended it by gently throwing you up in the air and catching you, letting you get your last giggles out. You both laughed together, your bond ever growing stronger. You truly did tame this bloodthirsty killer without even trying or knowing, of course you were too young to know.
Once the giggle frenzy ended you both finished your dancing with a long sigh, the phonograph ending it's segment. You then suddenly yawned and rested your head in the crook of his neck over his shoulder, snuggling for warmth and for a sudden need to sleep.
"Seems like my little fawn needs sleep now, almost past your bedtime young lady." Normally he'd scold you a bit more strictly as he usually did, but seeing as how you were basically ready to fall into a pile of dreams he just felt no need to do that.
"Sorries papa.. I forgot.." your little words muffled by your face hidden in his neck.
Alastor was never one for being touched, let alone hugged or snuggled. Oh but he had no right to complain, he's had you this close since you were a baby.. to him this just felt normal now.
Of course no one but you could be this close to him, you're his little girl after all.
"No need to worry, my dear." He stopped in front of your bedroom, carefully opening the door with a creak following after. With careful footsteps he walked towards your bed, pulling the blanket away to then gently place you on your cozy sheets with care.
Alastor gently moved any misplaced hairs away from your face as he then pulled your soft and warm blanket up to your neck. Your sleeping face reassuring him.
"Sweet dreams sweetheart." His usual smile softening a bit more before backing away and slowly heading towards the door of your room, lingering for a few extra seconds to take one last look at you before slowly closing the door and heading off to bed himself.
After the click of the door closing can be heard, you mumbled "Goodnight papa.." with a smile, even if in the end Alastor didn't get to hear it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You missed him, dearly.
A weight fell on your chest, your eyes begging to form tears. You missed when you had that childhood innocence, when you didn't know what he was capable of, when he was nothing but a saint to you.
It still hurt after all these years, you thought he was a good man.. a bit strict, blunt, a bit too true to himself and definitely peculiar but.. the Alastor that raised you would never do that. Until you were obviously proven otherwise.
Oh but I guess you were too into your reminiscing that you didn't notice the background gasps and small shrieks of surprise and fear, and you didn't yet feel the eventual stares and eerie presence right in front of you.
"What don't you regret, my dear?"
You choked on your drink in surprise almost spitting it out,
that fucking radio voice again.
For heaven's sake how did he find you?? He couldn't have seen you through the windows. Did he follow you??.. did you just not notice.. Oh geez maybe getting used to having your guard down during all your years in heaven definitely didn't help with this situation.
You continued coughing on your drink, even punching your chest a bit to get that last good cough out. The radio demon pulled the chair in front of you to sit across from you, not waiting to ask permission.
To him he didn't need to, he's your father after all.
Once you calmed down you immediately avoided eye contact, only giving him a once second glance to confirm it was him in hopes your ears were playing a trick on you-- they weren't.
"How.. how'd you find me.." you mumbled in slight fear.
"Oh how would I not! Sweetheart I'm your father of course, as your father I must have those parental instincts.. I always know where you are!" he exclaimed, seemingly proud of this.
"I'm guessing those 'parental instincts' didn't kick in when you stabbed me, huh." you spat with attitude, unafraid to be rude to him with so much sin he's committed.
A sharp static sound came from him, as if in slight shock at the disrespect and comeback you gave. "Watch the attitude young lady, you're still an Altruist you know."
You scoffed, hating at how indifferent you felt about your last name.
"Not by blood though.."
"I raised you, don't forget that." he spat back, starting to get irritated.
"And because of that I owe you?"
"Yes, yes indeed! Smart girl you are."
You scoffed at his response, finally getting the guts to look at him in the face. His appearance frightened you, disgusted you even.
Is this truly the man that raised you?
"As a matter of fact, I actually don't." you crossed your arms in annoyance and a huff. Your eyes couldn't help but to slowly drift to off to the people behind him and you see fellow angels you know continue to stare in awe or fear, of course at Alastor. With all eyes on you and mostly him it made you feel a little embarrassed. You cowered down a bit and your wings went over your head and shoulders a bit as if to hide you behind a 'curtain' of sorts.
Alastor obviously noticed this, but could care less about the stares.
You sighed, "Look, Alasto--"
"I think you mean to call me 'father'." he interrupted as he obviously seemed a bit sassy about it. "Even 'dad' is just simply fine and dandy with me!"
"No, I can't," you frowned, wishing you could "I won't. Not after what you did to me, to that man that night, and to every other poor soul you hurt."
Your face slowly scrunched up in disgust "You don't deserve my forgiveness, my mercy."
In embarrassment and feeling tears want to shed you grabbed your drink and got up to walk out, before you could get past Alastor though he grabbed your wrist harshly.
"Uh-- hey.. let go--"
"I didn't mean to do what I did, my dove." His voice turned into a weird version of gentle, almost uncharacteristically gentle. "I never intended to take your life away."
He sounded genuine.
Could he?.. Would he?..
Maybe, just maybe--
"No." you spat, "Maybe you didn't mean to hurt me, but you definitely meant to hurt others. That's something I can't forgive and I'm sure your victims wouldn't neither." you glared at him, setting your foot down. "I refuse to call you my father, not until I know that you repent for your sins but knowing you I highly doubt that." You snatched your wrist away and for a slight second you stopped caring about what others thought when they'd see this "Besides, you killed me two weeks after I turned eighteen.. don't even include the years that passed since the 30s and present time so clearly you can't control me anymore old man."
But Alastor wouldn't go down that fast nor easily.
His sharp smile widened, you felt immense dread.
"Oh little one, no matter how far you are or how much you try to disown me you are forever connected to me. I made you who you are and you can try to run and fly off however long you want but in the end you're tied to me whether you like it or not. Even in death."
He seemed deathly serious with his statements so much so that you could've sworn you could see his shadow giggling and smirking in a way that seemed even worse and more than evil.
Your breath quietly hitched in fear in noticing this to the point where it even forced you to take a step back. He let out a sinister chuckle before you couldn't help but speed out of the shop and flew out.
You couldn't handle him, he was shameless when showing this side of him.. how could he be this shameless and normal?? How could he act like this and be proud about it? He killed people and doesn't regret it, you being the only exception just didn't feel right and it wasn't fair!
Not to you.
He may have been able to silently control you and vaguely manipulate you to believe he was anything but a bad person back when you were alive and young but now your eyes are wide open and so is your heart.
You have such a bad feeling about this whole thing, he was up to no good he just couldn't be-- he had to be using the princess as an excuse to do something shitty.
Good thing you had plenty of connections, if you just played your cards right...
Hey.. wasn't there something about a court meeting happening soon?
On the other hand Alastor stayed sitting there still chucking devilishly, his intentions and true feelings smeared and unclear.
With a snap of his fingers a cup of black coffee appeared and he began drinking it with a sense of casual glee and eyes closed in delight. Until he felt eyes on him, two nearby to be exact. He opened one eye to look at the angels staring at him and they both seemed like more biblically accurate angels, both having one eye and all. The radio demon shot them an evil grin.
"Oh adolescents these days, rebellious aren't they." He cackled before going back to drinking his coffee, the angels creeped out by his interaction soon scurried away from him.
The fear. He enjoyed it, just not really from you.
(thank you all who asked for part 2!! of course I had to deliver since you all really wanted it and honestly I love adding flashbacks to memories Alastor and the reader had when they were alive, makes their ending on earth just that more painful (as if it wasn't clear I love angst). Honestly I don't mind making more parts for this! If the demand is consistent and you guys still want to keep up with it I have a few ideas to keep this going! Once again thank you so much for reading!! Now I must finish writing for other stories lolllll!)
(p.s: i highly recommend listening to any mitski song while reading this I think it fits well especially with the flashback scene hehe)
2K notes · View notes
hellenhighwater · 4 months
Note
Mildly weird question for story research purposes: when your cats ride on your shoulder, what does it feel like for you?
Context: My main character has a cat who likes to ride around on her shoulder, and since it's a thing that happens frequently, I'm trying to make sure I write about it well. And, unfortunately, I do not have a cat to even attempt to test it with, so I'm going to the one person I KNOW has experience with this situation.
Specific things that would be helpful to know:
Do you have to be careful not to upset their balance, or can you more or less walk normally once they're up there?
How are they keeping themselves up there? Are there claws involved? Or just good balance?
Where's most of their weight? I looked back at some pictures/vids, and it looks like they typically ride with their front paws on the shoulder and their back paws somewhere a bit below and beside your neck, but I could be wrong.
How long can they stay on your shoulder before one of you has to take a break? Is the weight of the cat tiring, or is it pretty easy to deal with?
Anything else I should be aware of regarding shoulder cats?
Thank you SO MUCH for your help!
Oh, I can definitely answer that! One: It's waaay easier to shoulder a small cat than a big one.
For the most part, they kind of drape themselves over the shoulder; this is specifically what I've trained them to do. Cats will also "shoulder" by draping across both shoulders/back of neck, but this forces your head forward to allow room for them, and it's not comfy. Hence the trained posture. (Malice, in the early days:)
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
I taught Mal to jump up when I bent forward for her, and circle to face front while I stood up. She can actually do that pretty quickly. Their weight is pretty evenly distributed across the top of the shoulder and down on the pectoral, not really on the back at all. Mal sometimes hooks her back claws into my shirt near the shoulderblade, which is more about balance than weight support. Nim, who was significantly smaller, actually kept her back feet tucked up so that her feet were on the top of my shoulder. This is a significantly more ready posture than Mal's--she would have to readjust for a better foothold to jump down; Nim could leap directly off at a moment's notice. Overall, Nim had far superior shouldering skills to Mal. Malice rides like the meatball she is; I'm hoping she'll learn with age. Here's some pictures of Nim:
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
To give them a stable position, I do keep my back straight and shoulders back; if I have to pick something up, I will crouch down instead of bending over. If I have to bend forwards, I will put my palm up flat so that they can stand with their front paws on it and keep their body on my shoulder. Generally, I can move, walk, and even work normally. I've cooked, painted, done chores, even run. Both hands are free to use, though generally you can't lift the arm the cat is on above a T position. They don't need to use their claws for balance unless I am doing something really active. I do shoulder almost exclusively on my left shoulder, so that my dominant hand is more free.
The weight is not significant--Nim was only about 8 lbs, Mal is about 11, and because there's no grip to maintain them and they're naturally situated on the shoulder, it's easy to carry them for a long time. I used to walk miles with Nim on my shoulder. It's actually more the heat--cats run hot, and it's a lot of fur on your neck and shoulder if it's warm out. Great in the winter, though!
Notable things you might not realize--their head is in front of yours, so you can still see ear positions, what they're looking at, etc. Nim's night vision/hearing/sense of smell was better than mine, so I could tell if we were sneaking on wildlife based on her reactions and responses to things. You can also feel them tense or adjust posture before they jump or try to get down, and you can feel their tail moving. You can also feel if they're growling or purring, even if you can't hear it. If you're used to paying attention to those cues, you'll notice them while just carrying the cat normally too--Nobody could sneak up behind me if I was carrying Nim facing over my shoulder to the back.
They can jump from shoulder height but it's a hard landing. Usually if I want them down, I just kneel with a knee up, or lift a leg flat while standing so they can jump to the top of my leg and then to the ground.
If I was in a fictional setting and traveling with them long term, I would be investing in a really weird piece of leather armor, that goes to the edge of the neck/crest of shoulder, and down past the bottom of the shoulderblade, with little easy-to-grip leather loops or chainmail on the back of the shoulder.
1K notes · View notes
sheerioswifties · 2 years
Text
Okay I- I saw the post from Claire that uh kinda confirms theories that BTTWS may be about a close friend having a m*scarriage and it all makes sense and Claire even quotes it and my heart HURTS for her I mean I've been there both ways too I've also been the friend up all night while someone very close to me went through it and also a very premature birth it's all gutwrenching (and side note I almost wanted to warn my friend not to listen to BTTWS bc it's heartbreaking but the more I listen to it the more I see how actually perfectly and beautifully Taylor put it which I can go on about in another post but) I just- it- it's still bothering me- that she uses the phrase "could've been, would've been, should've been..." as part of the chorus of that song, a very specific phrase, and then she literally used that phrase as the TITLE of her J**** M**** song (do we have a calcium harvest like name for that asshole yet?)... but so like- she never does ANYTHING like that unintentionally. That's too much of a coincidence for those songs not to be somehow connected and it is BOTHERING me it's legitimately kept me up at midnight pondering what is going on it just. It bothers me. I love Taylor. I love Claire. So much pain and heartache I just sgstfisostsotsotsost
#and also the possible explanations i can come up with i just idk#like could it just be as simple as the phrase just worked well in totally separate contexts but since it does seem odd to use that twice...#...like maybe that's why they're both bonus/3am songs bc they wouldn't fit the narrative/would be confusing?#or is it the other way around were they both purposely put together on the 3am#and then like. . did it happen to Taylor (and if it did i think it was early on not with Joe as ppl speculated but that's just theory) and..#...she wanted to get it out there like she has with a lot on this album#and maybe she thought it would be ambiguous enough that ppl wouldn't guess it was about miscarriage rather a metaphor for#her girlhood/the person she might have been/something like that#but then when everyone started with the miscarriage theory bc I'm sorry especially if you've been through it you hear that song and that's#the only thing it could be but so was it like oof they figured it out and so did Claire decide to share her experience to kinda help? ??#like again obvs either way Claire did go through it and i just feel for her so much and it makes perfect sense that Taylor would have been#there grieving alongside her but the song is sung as if it's happened to Taylor...#...but then again she could be doing what Ed did with small bump and singing from the perspective of the mother idk idk#just... why did she specifically use that phrase for both those songs. she's a genius lyricist she could use another for one of them but she#chose to use that for both songs so i just#but bottom line I DO NOT WANT TO PUT OUT SPECULATION ABOUT TAYLORS PRIVATE LIFE so please nobody take this and run with it ok#I'm just theorizing on songs she chose to put out there and we always interpret her songs how we do and sometimes she confirms things#sometimes she doesn't so I'm just like getting this out there but at the same time like PLEASE nobody go try and talk to her /bother#her about that topic that's one we i think need to just not bring up unless she does/makes it clear to do so#but yeah i just fully went on in the tags huh. ..you know what that means i gotta do#if you've read this far you now owe me an ask :) hi
1 note · View note