#usually! but then I have to start mentally preparing for work again and can't help thinking I'd rather do Anything Else

[apollo-zero-one]

Singing employment paperwork be like "I, Legal Name I Don't Identify With, of not particularly sound mind nor especially able body, agree under coercion of society and so not exactly of my own volition, to give This Job all of my spoons and then some 5-7 days a week, in exchange for not enough money to move out of my parents house."

[luveline]

hi jadeee!!! :D i read the fic abt poly!marauders with depressed reader and i was wondering if you could do one with aaron? for example r having trouble getting out of bed or doing small tasks and her mental health getting bad again, i don’t know if its just me but i rarely find these kind of fics <3

hi gorgeous i hope this is ok! fem, 1k

“How are you feeling?” Aaron asks, patting his face dry with a towel. 

You rub sleep from your eyes, catching Aaron's eyes in the mirror over his broad shoulders. You offer him a tired sort of smile.

“Come here,” he says. 

You do as he says. Aaron's getting dressed for work, and it's miraculous to have you up and out of bed before him considering how depressed you've been lately. Your abdomen presses to his.

“What are you going to do today?” he asks, wetting a washcloth in the sink. He feels the temperature of the water for a few seconds. 

“Um…” You close your eyes in preparation. “I have to shower. And I want to… make you dinner. So I'll do that.” He brings the washcloth to your face and rubs at your skin gently, little rivers of warm water creeping down your face and neck. “Is my appointment today?” 

“No, sweetheart. It's not until Tuesday.” He cleans your nose, your sleep-crusted lashes. “Why not have a bath? That way you can sit. You could bring your laptop in here and watch a movie.” 

“That…” You run out of steam as he wipes the last stretch of your cheek gently. 

If you can't manage a shower today, Aaron will help when he comes home. He never makes it seem like an obstacle or an imposition to help you through these things, treating it like any other hour of time spent together. “Dinner would be nice. But make sure you set the timer if you use the oven. I'll worry.” 

“Yeah.” 

He passes you your toothbrush and toothpaste. You squeeze it out onto the bristles as he sets about neatening your hair for the day, fingertips gentle on the soft skin of your hairline. You force the toothbrush into your mouth and start out slowly. You feel a disconnect between you and your actions, his touch the only tether, and every brush takes effort you don't have. 

“I didn't say good morning,” he says apologetically, rubbing your shoulders with some loving roughness. “How did you sleep?” 

Sleep is a big blob you don't have words for. “Good morning,” you say through toothpaste, leaning your face into his arm. 

He kisses whatever bit of your face he can reach. “Good morning.” 

“Sorry if I'm dirty.” 

“You aren't honey, you're fine. We just need to keep on top of it.” 

He pulls away to let you finish your half job, offering you a floss pick that you take on automatic but can't force yourself to use. It stays in your hand all the way to the breakfast table, where you get served sliced fruits and toast with chocolate spread. It's the kind with lots of calories, to keep you going if you can't manage your own lunch. Aaron makes you lunch most of the time if you can't do it yourself and leaves it in a tupperware in the fridge, but actually getting up to reheat it is another thing. You usually do it if your stomach aches but not otherwise. Already, you're wanting to go back to bed. Another day of letting him down. 

He gives you your medication divider, sipping at his own mug of coffee. “Jack's coming back tonight. Are you excited?” 

“So excited,” you say honestly. “Did he have a good time at, uh, Mason's?” 

“I think so. They went to Pizza Hut buffet. He said we have to go for his birthday.” He smiles at you from over the lip of his mug, eyes all manner of tender. “He asked if you're still sleeping.” 

“Don't let him worry about me,” you say, half-pleading. 

“No, I won't. You know I won't. He's just noticed you're not feeling your best, but it's not a bad thing. He wants to tuck you in.” 

“He said that?” 

Aaron nods with a smile. “He misses you when he doesn't see you.” 

“I miss him… I'm sorry. About all of this. I really…” You look down at your hands. Toast crumbs cling to your fingers, little white ants that catch hold when you attempt to shake them off. You wipe them in your pants. “I promise I'm trying.” 

He rounds the table. Takes your face into his hand, but doesn't force your head up. “That's not in question,” he says in his dulcet tone. “We want you to feel as good as you can. It doesn't matter how long it takes.” 

“I just want to be better.” I just want this feeling to be over. 

He hums into himself, his big hand a warm, steady thing where it covers your cheek. He's so solid. 

“Listen,” he says, bending to meet your eye. “Today, I only want you to do three things. Do you think you can do that? If you can't, I won't be mad, but I want you to try.” 

“Okay.” 

“Firstly, what you said about dinner? That sounds nice. Being active is good for you.” He measures your reaction. You've schooled your features into a determined seriousness that makes him smile. “Alright. Secondly, you take that nice long bath.” 

Your seriousness falters. “Sorry.” 

“No, no, don't be. It's not like that, sweetheart, I just want you to stay healthy, and to feel good about yourself. That's why I need you to eat lunch too.” 

“Is that the third thing?” 

“No, the third thing is to give me a kiss because I'm about to be late for work.” 

You tip your head up and he kisses you sweetly as always. You let him fawn and fret for a few minutes before he really has to leave, and then it's your fault he's late, calling him back in for a last hug. To be fair to you, it's a hug you really, really need. 

“Call me if you need to,” he says, his cheek against your temple. “I'll come home. I promise.” 

[leosxrealm]

003 — ɴᴏᴛ ꜰᴏʀ ʜɪᴍ

★— pairing(s): Max Verstappen x Male! Leclerc! Reader

★— warning(s): none!! possible grammar mistakes, hints of angst

★— (a/n): idk a lot about modeling either so i just made up what i think would happen there. we're finally building up the plot (barely started), not proofread!

★— character information | series masterlist

19-22

September 3, 2019

"Tilt your head to the right... just a bit... yeah, just like that." You did as you were told. You hear the sound of the camera and the lights flashing. The photographer takes another quick shot.

The director goes to check the pictures that were taken recently. The photographer gives you a quick nod, a little something he does to indicate he liked the pictures.

"Okay everyone!" the director claps his hands to get everyone's attention, "15-minute break, and then we do the last shoot for the day!"

There was a chorus of sighs of relief from everyone around you. It looks like everyone else couldn't wait to leave the studio either.

You return to the changing rooms along with a few of your coworkers. You had gotten to know some of them over the past few months and could now confidently call them your friends.

You pick up your phone from your makeup station. Opening it, you see a couple of texts from your friends and brothers. Clicking open your brother's contact, you answer his recent messages.

"Tell him to come up," another model who you've befriended said, looking over your shoulder. "Is that even allowed?" you ask. He had been in the industry for far longer than you; he was sort of like an upperclassman to you.

"Friends and families come to shoots all the time," he said emphasizing the word 'all', "Usually you have to get permission and stuff but it's the end of the shoot. Nobody has enough energy to care." 

"Oh."

He pats you on the shoulder, getting up from the chair beside yours, "You will have to go downstairs to get them. The security won't let them through." "Thanks, mate," you call after him, he throws a lazy smile your way, disappearing into one of the changing stalls.

"Uh...you guys can sit on the couches over there," you say pointing to the couches near the makeup stations, "and we have snacks over there," you say pointing to the opposite side of the couches, "and right next to that, we have refrigerators. Help yourself with the drinks."

You show your brother around for a bit before settling on the makeup station with your name on it. Your makeup artist gets to work immediately, getting you ready for the last shoot, when you hear your name being called. You let out an exhale, mentally preparing yourself for the last of the shoot.

---

"Damnnnn... you're actually good at something," Arthur says, chuckling at his own little joke. "At least I look natural," you retort back, earning a punch on the arm from your twin. 

"I look natural in my photos," he says back defensively, looking at Charles for some kind of reaffirmation. Charles turns his head, deciding not to comment on his younger brother's awkward poses for photoshoots. You snicker at your older brother's reaction, earning a smack on the back of your head from your twin. 

"Okay... Are you two hungry? What do you want to eat?" Charles finally intervenes, before you two decide to start a full-on brawl. "Man...," you whine out, "I'm starving." 

"Me too," Arthur adds with a scowl. "We couldn't even get food because someone," he gives you a stink eye, "can't even finish up by the time they said they would."

You roll your eyes at him, ready to retort back when Charles' car comes into view. "I call shotgun!" you say, running towards the car. "Bitch-" Arthur runs to catch up, leaving Charles behind. Charles shakes his head, long given up on you two. Freaking kids, he thinks.

You look in the rearview mirror, at Arthur's scowling face. He scoffs looking out the window, still pissy about having to sit in the back. You laugh at him (again), resulting in him kicking your seat. Charles finally decides to cut in before the two of you destroy his baby. 

Charles mentally celebrates when the restaurant comes into view. At least he won't have to worry about his baby getting destroyed for another hour or two. He sighs once again, pushing the both of you inside. Freaking kids, he thinks (once again).

"Oh yeah, what happened to that girl you were dating?" Arthur asks just as you were about to bite into your food. 

---

18-21

You raised your hand, ready to press the doorbell, before lowering it back again. Taking a deep breath, you ring the doorbell. You cleared your throat while waiting for the door to open. Hearing the door open, you look up.

Max sucks in a deep breath, not expecting to come face-to-face with you. Is that a suit you're wearing? Are those flowers in your hands? "Wha-what are you doing here?" He questions you, suddenly remembering how to speak.

"Oh... Um... I'm here for-" you begin to say before stopping abruptly. You look up suddenly, and Max thinks it's to look at him, but instead, you look behind him. The corners of your lips lift up into a soft smile.

(a/n): i'm sorry the title is so lame😭 anyway any guesses what's happening?

ᴛᴀɢʟɪꜱᴛ (ᴏᴘᴇɴ): @miloformula123fan @its-ares @fangirl-dot-com @wolf-knights @zyonsay @1obsessedwithfictionalmen7 @fevndue @erinpiastri @woozarts @sebastianstansblog @badblondebisexualboy @lovecarsgoingvroom @kurating @saintraikkonen @v3lnys

[natashaslittlegirl]

The contract - Romanoff's Assistant

DO NOT COPY ANY OF MY WORKS. MINORS DNI +18 ONLY.

Summary: It's your first day working in Romanoff's Company

Boss ! Natasha Romanoff x Assistant ! Reader

Warnings: none

Natasha Romanoff's Masterlist RA Masterlist RA Account Chapter II aesthetic

This morning hits different, you got up earlier than usual. You start dressing yourself up with your choosen outfit from the night before, well, from friday when you got back from the interview actually. Dress pants and black shirt, leather boots and as always your beige coat, it's your lucky charm, but don't say anything because otherwise it won't work.

You leave your apartment but not before feeding and giving Lena lots of kisses, this cat is going to be the death of you because of so much cuteness. So little and cuddly. You love when she comes and sits on your lap purring for you to caress her, so delicate, you love her.

You're walking along the avenues, luckily you're not that far from the coffee shop or work now. You make a quick stop, look at your applewatch, 7:45am, you still have time. Kate smiles at you when she sees you arrive. "Morning, girl! The usual?"

"Yes, please, and a coffee with almond milk, extra hot without sugar and the cup 70% full, please."

"So you remembered Romanoff's request, huh?" she looks at you with mischief in her eyes, oh, you certainly forgot to mention, that she already knows you have a little, not so little, crush on Miss Romanoff, that's why the look. You remember your call from friday evening.

While you waited for your lasagna to heat up, you grabbed your phone and dial Kate. "I got the job!" she screamead and you had to move the device away, otherwise it would make you deaf.

"No way, you little lucky ass!"

"Yes, I don't even know how, what if it goes wrong?" you start to doubt, "Miss Romanoff said one mistake and I'm screwed, help."

"Don't be stupid, Y/N, you'll do fine, relax." Well yeah, you don't even started yet. "I imagine you've had your eye on her." 

"I mean, could you blame me? She's beautiful." Miss Romanoff is beautiful indeed.

"She's hot," so hot "you already have a crush on her, don't you?"

"I can't lie to you."

You two talked a little more until a line of customers formed and Kate can't make six coffees at the same time, you doubt it.

"Kate," you let out a sigh, "I'm her assistant, the first thing I have to do in the morning is get her coffee, also, so do you."

"Okay, okay, whatever you say." she says as she prepares the coffees. You hand her the money and look at you watch again before she pass them to you, 7:53 am, shit, you need to hurry.

"Thank you Kate!" she waves back and you walk out as fast as possible, god these boots are not for rushing. But you got into the building and reached the elevator on time, 7:58am.

Fuck, hurry up, please. You mentally said to yourself, cursing the machine. You got to the twenty-seventh floor at 8 o'clock, ugh on time. You leave the coffees on your desk and wait for Miss Romanoff to show up.

You turn on the computer and go through the agenda, it's already organized so you don't have to do much. Not even five minutes pass and Miss Romanoff makes her entrance, how can this woman look like this at eight in the morning?

"Good morning, Miss Romanoff," You get up from your chair and grab her coffee, "I brought you coffee." she looks at you up and down as she takes the cup, taking a sip of coffee with a smirk on her face.

"So, coffee the way I like, you're on time and you're presentable."

"Yes, Miss Romanoff."

She goes on her way to her office and you go yours to the desk. You continue making appointments in the agenda and suddenly it's already 10am, how fast. You see that Miss Romanoff has a charity event offered by the Stark family and needs confirmation, you write the event in the agenda, the computer and on a post it in front of her, to much, huh? Interrupting your thoughts, you get a call saying Miss Romanoff is needed on the 5th floor.

You head to her door office, you can't see inside but you know she can sees you. knock twice waiting for her to let you in. "Come in" you hear her say and you walk into her office closing the door behind you.

"Miss Romanoff?" she looks up from her and scans you.

"Yes, Y/N, what's up?"

"I wanted to inform you that this Friday you've a charity event offered by the Stark family, it requires confirmation and they need you now on the 5th floor" You say and wait for her response.

"Thank you, confirm my invitation and yours too and call the 5th floor, tell them I'm coming, look for me in fifteen minutes, I'm busy and I don't want to waste time." She stops and takes some papers with her, you step aside and open the door for her to leave, you see her go to the elevator and disappear once it closes the doors. You send the confirmations to the event, but you didn't know that you'll have to go. 

When trirteen minutes pass you call the elevator and play the 5th floor to get Miss Romanoff back, you arrived and started to looking for her in the hallways. She didn't said where you were suposed to look for her. Passing the cubicles separated by glass panels, a woman comes out and you take the opportunity to ask her about Miss Romanoff.

"Hi, I'm Y/N, Miss Romanoff's new assistant, can you tell me where she is? She needs to attend to an important call."

"Hi, I'm Debbie, nice to meet you. Yes, she's down the hall with Lou, the accountant."

"Thank you very much, it's a pleasure for me too" you walk to the end until you find the accountant's office, knock twice and wait for the order to enter. You hear gasps and don't want to imagine what they are doing inside. You hear a 'come in' and take a deep breath before going inside, for your surprise, Miss Romanoff is sitting in front of the accountant's desk and the other woman is standing serving two glasses of water.

"Y/N, what's up?" She turns her head around to look at you.

"Miss Romanoff, you have an important call, they said it can't wait." She rolls her eyes, is she kidding?

"Y/N, this is Lou, our accountant" She points the other woman and then you, "Lou, she's Y/N, my new assistant." 

"Nice to meet you, Miss" 

"The pleasure is mine, darling." She smiles at you, making you gulp, Miss Romanoff therefore, looks at the other woman and rolls her eyes again. She gets up from her chair and walks out with you. You both reach the elevator and go to your respectives offices.

You spent the rest of the day reviewing plans, events, and trips. Schedule and rearrange appointments for tomorrow and when you look at the clock it's already 5pm, you hear Miss Romanoff calling you into her office.

"You called me, Miss Romanoff?" You stand halfway at the door.

"Yes, come in and close the door." You do what she says and stay standing in front of her desk, you just hope you didn't do anything wrong. You feel nervous remembering that everyone must be leaving by now. Well you don't think you'd done anything wrong.

"I want to talk to you about something, Y/N," you gulp "sit down."

"Yes, Miss Romanoff." You do what she says and sit with your legs crossed.

"Don't be afraid, you didn't do anything wrong. I called you so we can talk about the contract, payment, schedules, and I need some confirmations from you." She grabs one of the two folders in front of her and hands it to you.

You open it and the first thing you see is my salary, you don't know if you're dreaming or if you're seeing things wrong but here it says 120k, you didn't even think that the assistants earned that much, you expected 60k at the most.

"Miss Romanoff?"

"Yes, Y/N." you look at her

"Is this amount serious?"

"Yes, do you prefer monthly or fortnightly?" oh god I can't believe it.

"Monthly? I thought it was yearly," you whispered under your breath, "Monthly is fine, Miss Romanoff." She noted something in her folder, which you guess must have the same documents as your.

"Okay then, go to page three," You turn to the page and read, your schedules Mon-Fri 8am-5pm, Sat 9am-1pm, lunch break one hour, any time you choose. "Are your schedules okay with you?"

"Yes, Miss Romanoff."

"Perfect, we already have the basics confirmed. I need you to tell me if you are willing to go on business trips, go to events, meetings and all this kind of thing. Everything is detailed on page 5 onwards, you don't have to answer me now, tomorrow you can bring me the signed folder with what you can do and what not. You will also have a card in your name for expenses that we make on trips and for the clothes that I ask you to wear, is that clear?"

"Yes, Miss Romanoff, all clear"

"You can go, Y/N." You got up from the chair, grab the folder and go to your office, find your handbag, put on your beige coat and walk to your apartment.

You arrived and left everything on the table in front of the couch, You went to your room to take off your clothes, take a shower and put on your pyjamas, the black short silk with lace edges, you love it, it is very confy.

There is nothing you like more than a relaxing shower, leaving there smelling like vanilla, how nice. You go back to the kitchen. It's 8:45 p.m. dinner time. You open the fridge but you find it empty, you must've forgot to do the groceries again, well, pizza will be. You order and while you wait for the delivery you go to pour yourself a glass of white wine. You receive the pizza, pay and go to the couch and find Lena in a super adorable position, picture worthy, she's very cute.

While you eat, you read the contract, it seems like a very good offer, obviously you're going to take it.

Passport. Yes

Travel in the country. Yes

Travel abroad. Yes

You keep reading and you find everything reasonable, you ended up marking everything 'yes' and you send Kate if you have a work trip if she can take care of Lena.

Kate ☕

Of course I'm going to take care of that adorable little kitten

Great, one less thing to worry about.

Previous Chapter / Next Chapter

[hannahbarberra162]

Can't Fix Fix A Broken Heart

Now on Ao3

All chapters

This is my first OP fanfic. I love the Whitebeard Pirates and I wish Whitebeard was my dad. I HC Ace does sometimes talk like Luffy but only around other WBP and / or people he feels very comfortable with. TW: reader has significant trauma, will be explained in later chapters. let me know if you like it!

Synopsis - you are an anxious bar cleaner with a practical but otherwise uninteresting Devil Fruit. You're free from your past - until today. Can your new friends help you? Or do they just want to keep you for themselves?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Letting yourself through the backdoor of the bar, you sighed heavily to yourself. The bar was more destroyed than usual - and that was saying a lot because it usually looked like a hurricane had come through and destroyed half the place. Looking at the few remaining kegs of booze on the shelves behind the bar, you could guess why. It looked like there had been quite a rager last night and it had gotten rowdy. Taking another deep breath, you went to get the broom in the cleaning closet. Waiting around wasn’t going to get the bar any cleaner. “The Brothers Bar” had gotten a reputation for being able to take whatever damage the customers decided to do, and you weren’t sure that was a good thing. 

The rays of sunshine streaming through the windows highlighted the dust in the air. You opened the unscreened windows as wide as you could to let in the refreshing, cool morning breeze. Like you did every morning, you put on your work apron and started by sweeping up what you easily could. It was a way for you to survey the damage done the night before and mentally prepare yourself for the tasks at hand. Sweeping up the broken glass, debris, dirt and was that a pineapple fruit crown? You looked about and in the corner, there was an immense pile of broken table legs and cracked table tops all in a heap. What had happened? A table throwing contest? Just one more thing for you to do. At least they were in a pile.

After you swept the small stuff into a dustpan and threw it away, you walked over to the pile of debris. It would be easier to clean the floor once all the large furniture was out of the way. Walking over, you saw something unusual - a large black boot sticking out of the pile. You carefully peered closer and it seemed the boot was attached to a leg. Sucking in a gasp, you slowly reached out to touch the leg. You had never seen anyone in the bar in the morning - the brothers always cleared out any patrons at the end of the night. Was the person dead? Would you have to deal with a dead body? You hadn’t seen anyone dead in a while and always hoped it would be a while longer. 

Your questions were quickly answered as your fingertips touched the smooth leg sticking out of the pile. The leg jerked back, and the person attached to the leg let out a huge yawn. Arms dusted in freckles rose out of the pile as a young man sat up and did a large morning stretch. Your eyes widened as he reached behind him with lingering sleepiness and reached for a black cowboy hat with some faces on it. He yawned again, put it on his head, and looked at you with a crooked smile on his handsome face. 

“G’mornin’”

You stared at the younger man. He had…slept in that pile of broken wood? He didn’t even seem confused or upset by his waking circumstances? He was starting to sit up, mildly scratching at his unclothed chest and stretching his torso. He seemed perfectly at ease and started brushing wood shavings off of his shorts. 

You backed away instinctively - anyone coming near you was enough to have you taking a few steps back just in case. A moment later, he looked at you again and smiled guiltily. You didn’t know what to say or do, so you did what came naturally: you laughed. A huge belly laugh - the kind you hadn’t made in a long time. He looked back at you surprised and flashed a genuine smile that made him seem much younger. 

Now that the young man was awake, you thought you recognized him. He was very handsome - dark black hair hanging in soft waves framing his face, soft dusting of freckles, big bright eyes looking your way. But what identified him for you was the “ASCE” tattoo along his arm and the giant Whitebeard tattoo across his entire back.

“You’re…hmm….Fire First Ace, right?”

“Yep.”

“Why are you here?”

“We’re on the island getting supplies for the Moby Dick.”

“No, I figured that. I meant, why are you in this bar right now? You should have been kicked out with everyone else last night.”

The young man shrugged his shoulders, seemingly unperturbed by the circumstance.

“I fell asleep and I guess no one saw me, so here I am.”

You didn’t really know what to say to him. He just…fell asleep? Usually the bar was raucous and you couldn’t imagine sleeping in a pile of lumber. You glanced at him sitting on the pile of rubble and he looked so….young. He was staring off into the distance not looking at anything. He looked a little lost and sad and cute and a bit like….but you didn’t have time to think about that right now. You generally were a solid judge of character and you had a pretty good feeling about Ace. Ultimately it didn’t matter since you had work to do and he didn’t seem to be interested in causing you harm for the moment. 

“Hey, get out of that pile. If you sit down at the bar I’ll make you my most amazing hangover cure.”

“Who says I’m hungover?” Ace said with a hand over his eyes, shielding them from the light.

“Just a hunch after a few hangovers of my own,” you said smiling again. “C’mere. I’ll make you a drink and then I have to get back to work. You can stay here for a few.”

Ace did one more stretch of his back and started meandering over to the bar and sat on a bar stool. “Sheesh,” he said, running his hand on the back of his neck. “I don’t remember us doing such a one over on this place. It looks like a shipwreck.”

You hummed but you were already behind the bar, grabbing the ingredients you would need. Lemon, honey, vinegar, chili peppers, seltzer, and of course, your secret ingredient. Mixing them all together, you handed the young man the beverage in a clean glass, which he accepted. You also handed him another glass of plain water.

“What is it? Looks like shit” Ace asked warily, swirling the beverage.

“Tastes like it too, but it’s the best hangover cure around. Chug it, then drink the water. Wait 5 minutes and tell me you don’t feel better.”

Ace must have decided the headache was the worse of the two, so he tipped back his glass and chugged the beverage. Afterwards, he wiped his mouth on the back of his hand and stuck his tongue out making a face. “Absolutely disgusting!” “Yep, now the water.” He grimaced but chugged the water as well. After he was done he handed back the glasses and was still sticking his tongue out. You chuckled lightly and started to clean them behind the bar.

You couldn’t help yourself, he reminded you so much of one of your brothers. You teased him saying “you know, if you keep that up your face will get stuck like that.”

Ace grinned and said “haven’t heard something like that in a long time. So, what’s your name anyway? Since you already know that I’m Ace.”

“I’m Y/N.”

“Nice to meet you, and thank you for the drink. I do actually feel better already.” You smiled warmly at him and moved back to the floor to start the real work of the day. 

“Do you need any help?” Ace asked, tilting his head to the side. “I can see how clearing this would take you all day. You’re…not very tall, I can’t imagine you lifting all that. Besides, you look pretty tired.”

“Hey! I’ll have you know I’m barely below average height on my home island! And besides, nah, I’m OK. Just sit for a few more moments and let the drink work its magic.”

With that, you continued walking towards the pile of broken tables and chairs. You held out your hand, crossed your index and middle finger and touched one of the pieces of the tabletop. Quickly, the broken pieces of the table flew together and combined themselves into their former state as if nothing had ever happened. You were a devil fruit user of a very practical fruit - the Fix Fix fruit. You had the ability to fix almost anything - tables, chairs, floors, roofs, forks, clothes, anything really. You had even started pushing the boundaries of your fruit and were able to “fix” broken bones and simple lacerations. You were how the bar went from destroyed to ready for business every night. 

Once all the debris was rearranged back into furniture, you looked back at Ace sheepishly. “See? Not a big deal. I do this all the time.”

Ace of course was known for having eaten the Flame Flame fruit - an interesting and useful fruit that had helped him become a famous Whitebeard Pirate with a huge bounty. By comparison, yours felt like the Loser Loser fruit. What was fixing some broken glasses compared with creating fireballs big enough to destroy ships and save your friends?

But Ace was transfixed on your work. His eyes were wide and he looked like he was watching you walk on water. You became a little embarrassed as he said nothing, so you turned away and started fixing the other furnishings in the bar that needed attention. 

“Is..is that your power? Your devil fruit power?”

“Y..y-eah. I know it’s not as amazing as yours but I can fix almost anything and it can sometimes come in hand-”

Ace didn’t let you finish your sentence before he was on his feet waving his arms and yelling

“DO YOU KNOW HOW HELPFUL THAT WOULD BE ON THE MOBY? OR EVEN ON THE MOBY JRS? Oh my God! We wouldn’t have to fix all those pipes! The pipes! Do you know how much time we spend fixing the goddamn pipes alone?! The sails wouldn’t require days and days of downtime to repair when they rip! We could fix the doors! The stairs! Can you fix broken Log Poses?! Do you know how many I’ve accidentally set on fire?! Come to the Moby please!"

Ace was clearly excited and eager to have you join in his happiness. But the noise of his sudden outburst made you flinch and shift your weight backward away from him as if getting ready to run. Your smile dropped and you looked at him with no expression on your face. Ace noticed your discomfort after a moment and held up his hands and said “hey, I didn’t mean anything by it. I was just thinking out loud about how amazing that fruit power would be.” He sat himself back down on the stool as if to show he wouldn’t get closer. 

You didn’t blame him, you were a jumpy person. “It’s OK, I just haven’t seen anyone so excited about fixing tables before,” you shrugged and tried to lightly laugh off the awkwardness. You didn’t want to upset him - there was no telling what could set off a pirate. Especially one as strong as Ace. You wanted to show you weren’t upset with him - and you really weren’t. You were thankful he acknowledged your discomfort and settled down. So you decided to allow him to complete Step 2 of the Complete Hangover Cure if he so desired.

“Would you like to take a shower? It can also really help with hangovers, opening the blood vessels and all that.” 

“Hmmm…not too sure about that one.”

“You…smell…not great. You slept on the floor of the bar. There was a literal pissing contest here a few nights ago. I highly suggest you go shower. Come on, I’ll let you into the place upstairs.”

Ace narrowed his eyes, seemingly trying to determine if you were trying to catch him in a trap or use him in some kind of way. You must have passed the test because he agreed and bounded behind you as you led him up the stairs to your small apartment.

The Brothers were letting you live above the bar for the moment. It was great because they barely charged you any rent and you didn’t need much. It had a bedroom, a bathroom, and a very small living room big enough for a comfy chair and table, which was more than you had in years. Even though they were not always expressive, you thought they did care for you in their own way.

You let Ace into the apartment and showed him where clean towels, soap, and combs were. You really had to get back to work, so you told him just to come back downstairs when he was done. You also mentioned that you had half a loaf of bread on the table and eating some would be the final step to cure his hangover.

“Aren’t you worried I’m going to rob you or look through your things?” Ace questioned as you started to walk towards the door. He was giving you a strange look, like you were trying to trick him.

“No? I don’t have anything worth stealing. I don’t have any money or valuables. I mean, I would be annoyed if you stole the book I’m reading but I can always borrow another copy.” You left Ace in your apartment and went down the stairs. You heard the water running down the pipes so you knew Ace had at least started the shower. After his shower, you’d tell him to leave and come back when the bar was open - you’d be long gone and the Brothers could deal with all this nonsense. 

You were reflecting on what a strange morning it had been, but things needed to be done. You were really behind schedule now after dealing with Ace all morning. You started cleaning again when you heard knocking on the thick wooden door at the entrance of the bar. You looked at the clock - it still wasn’t close to opening time and the Brothers all had keys to the back door - so who was it? 

With a groan, you pushed a heavy bar stool towards the door. Since the Brothers owned the bar and had never hired anyone but you, they had put the lock where it was convenient for them. Which meant it was inconvenient for you since they were all at least two and a half feet taller than you were. Again, you were almost perfectly average size on your island! It wasn’t your fault all these people were so tall. 

After pushing the stool, you stood up on it and reached to open the old lock. “Just a second!” you called out, hoping the person on the other side wouldn’t push the door in causing you to fall. You heard deep voices talking on the other side of the door and for a moment you regretted opening it at all. But you got down off the stool and moved it aside. Grabbing the iron door handle and pulling it with most of your strength, you managed to crack the door about a foot open. 

There was a group of three men looking down at you. You smiled up at them politely and said “Hi, the bar isn’t open right now. You can come back again later when we are” and tried to shut the door.

One of the men, who had a funny hairstyle not unlike a pineapple, smiled back at you with half closed eyes and put his hand casually on the door, keeping it open. He said

 “We’re actually just looking for our brother-yoi. We couldn't find him and this was the last place we saw him.”

You weren’t sure what to do - you were almost positive they were on the same crew, but what if they weren’t? What if they wanted to hurt Ace? Wait, why did you care? Ace could handle himself. Taking the safest route, you asked “Who are you looking for?”

“Fire Fist Ace. He’s pretty short, black hair, freckles, charming, sleeps a lot.” The man, who you thought might be Marcott? Marcus? Something like that, you think you might’ve seen his picture a long time ago, held up Ace’s wanted poster to show a picture of him. 

“...um…” you were trying to stall for time to decide what to do. On one hand, you didn’t want anything bad to happen to Ace if they were bounty hunters or had a vendetta against him. On the other, you didn’t want to upset this new group of people you didn’t know. This is why you were the morning bar cleaner! You didn’t like to deal with conflict or these kind of issues. Why couldn’t one of the Brothers be here this morning? 

“Well, I’m the only person in the bar right now. I just clean here.” You decided to not exactly lie, but to obfuscate the truth just a little. It was true that you were the only person there - because you let Ace go upstairs to shower.

“Do you mind if we look around? We are getting worried about him - he can sleep in the strangest places.” The man wasn’t threatening you and he did seem genuinely concerned about Ace but you felt vulnerable and uncomfortable. You couldn’t think of a way to diffuse the situation easily so you just gave in. Maybe they would leave quickly?

“Sure, come on in,” you said as you pushed the door further open. The three men, politely waited until you moved out of the way and then followed you into the bar. All you had to do was hold out another 15 minutes and at least one Brother would probably be there to help you. The men were walking around the bar, looking a little puzzled.

“I thought Jozu accidentally smashed this table last night?” a man with a long mustache and black top hat said quietly to his companions. 

“Yeah, and Haruta definitely broke at least one chair.”

“They say this bar is magic and can fix anything inside it.” said a man wearing white with a yellow sash and a pompadour hairstyle with a grin.

“I’m not too sure about that,” said Pineapple Man while looking at you. You didn’t like him looking at you so you pretended to be giving all your attention to your cleaning. But when you heard the water in the pipes turn off, you glanced up out of habit. 

Pineapple Man followed your glance up and said with a small smile “Someone up there yoi?”

You swallowed harshly and felt a stiff pressure settle at the base of your neck. You were feeling unsettled and anxious. You just wanted everyone gone - and soon. Ace, these  men, everyone needed to be out of your comfort zone. There were too many people asking you too many questions.

“It’s not really any of your business. W-who are you guys anyway?” you settled on saying.

“We’re Whitebeard Commanders, I’m Marco. This is Thatch,” he said pointing to the man in white who smiled and waved, “and this is Vista,” jerking his thumb at the large gentleman who took off his top hat with a flourish. “We’re looking for Ace - he’s a Commander like us. Here, let me show you.” Marco then opened his shirt and showed a large tattoo that matched Ace’s, but Marco’s was on his chest. Your face flushed but you weren’t sure why. You’d seen many men shirtless before, but this felt weird. You were too out of sorts for people to be taking their clothes off.

Before you could respond, you could hear Ace hurtling himself down the stairs. Cringing at being caught not telling the truth, you went to go meet him at the door to the bar. Before he could enter the bar, you quietly said “Ace” so the others wouldn’t hear you “there are three men here looking for you.”

“Hmm? Who?” Ace replied, unconcerned. He was still shaking the water out of his hair, kind of like a wet dog.

“Do you know them? They said their names are Marco, Thatch and Vista.” 

Ace’s face lit up in a smile and said “oh yeah! My brothers! Wait till they meet you Y/N!”

His sudden shift in mood made you feel safer, but he also grabbed you by the forearm and brought you towards his brothers in the bar. You tried to recoil your arm but he held on tight. You were being pulled back towards the men - somewhat unwillingly. 

“Acey- boy!” Thatch exclaimed when he saw the young Commander. “To what do we owe the pleasure of your monthly shower?” he teased, eyeing Ace’s still wet hair.

“It hasn’t been that long,” Ace said, rolling his eyes. Ace started talking like an excited child about everything that happened thus far. It was a far cry from the cool and collected man of a few minutes ago.

“Y/N let me shower upstairs after I woke up here! I woke up in a pile of wood but she just laughed and wasn't mad at all. She was so nice, she made me this terrible drink that helped and I ate all the food in her apartment - literally, why don’t you have more food? Do you need more? All you had was that bread and I ate it. I feel kinda bad about that but now I feel great after you helped me fix my headache. And just wait until you see her Devil fruit powers! They could really help she can fix anything she fixed this shithole from everything we did last night in like two seconds….”

The longer Ace babbled the more anxious you were becoming. You started shifting your weight on your feet and trying to gently free your arm from Ace’s grasp again. You didn’t like being the center of conversation, you didn’t like strange men near you, and you most certainly didn’t like people discussing your fruit power like you weren’t even there. You wanted to run away and hide until they all left. You did eventually free your arm and you started to back away little by little from the group of men. You knew Marco saw you since he gave you an assessing look while saying “is that so?” and “interesting” at points in Ace’s story.

You heard the back door to the bar open and you breathed a sigh of relief. That had to be one of the Brothers coming in for the day. You still hadn’t finished everything but you just wanted to get away and come back when it was empty again. Oldest Brother came in, went behind the bar, filled a shot glass, tossed it back and grunted at you. He didn’t smile, didn’t say anything, and didn’t wish you a good morning. You hadn’t seen him for a few days since he had the weekend off. You felt better as things were going back to how they usually were. After his drink, he looked up to see the Whitebeard Commanders in the bar. He lifted the corners of his mouth until they weren’t locked into a frown and said “Vista. Long time no see, Brother.” 

Your day was not going to be getting any less weird it seemed.

[nogenderbee]

♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ 𝕄𝕚𝕤𝕤𝕖𝕕 𝕚𝕥 𝕒𝕘𝕒𝕚𝕟 ₊˚ˑ༄

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ @bl4cktourmaline request: yahoo~ bee! it's me again:33 I saw the requests are open? If it is and I'm not tripping then may I request for Lyney with an oblivious reader who is a big fan of his and they are like... mutual pining for each other but they aren't even aware of it that it's become annoyingly sweet lol

Words can't describe how I love this man

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Hey hey! You're not tripping don't worry I see our mental state is similar lol But omg help I love it!! Down for Lyney too won't lie-

But omg, I kinda wanna write part 2 of this!! If I'll still feel like doing this after my requests are all done and I don't forget, I'll def be continuing this!

Anyway tho... I hope you enjoy! I personally kinda like it so I really hope you do too ^^

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ platonic/fluff

At this point Lynette and Freminet were watching you two. Even if they were 2km afar, they could still see you two and could only sigh about the view.

Lyney gave you another rainbow rose. It was like... 24 day strike by now! He gave you one every day, and every single time in a different time. First time it magically appeared in his hand, yesterday he pulled it out from ear your ear and today he "found it" in your tea!! How's even that possible?!

"For you, mon cherie~"

"Awh, thank you! I actually got something for you as well!"

"Oh really? Now what could it be... maybe you got me a reward for my latest magic show?"

"Well... yeah you could think so! Though I actually mean it as a gift for being such an amazing person for me!"

He could only chuckle as he took small box from you. His cheeks flushed gently but somehow, it just didn't got through his scalp what you really meant...

"Well isn't that sweet! Now what could we... ah- that's my favorite cake! How did you know?"

"I just happened to remember it. It's the least I could do for all the gifts you gave me recently."

But maybe it wasn't just him who was being a bit blunt here. You were as well, he was giving you rainbow roses every day, flowers meaning he loves you and yet, you just couldn't notice that special meaning...

"Should we finally help them?"

"Let them be for a bit longer."

2 siblings were now considering just coming up to you two and hitting you in the head, maybe then you'd notice how you both have obvious feelings for each other!

They know their brother has a crush on you because after every meeting with you, he's kicking his feet like highschool girl with crush in his bed. And you? You admitted yourself to Lynette while asking for advice because you thought he hated you when in reality, he was a tomato and had to run away from emberassment.

But both eventually decided to stay back and watch. They don't want to take this special moment away from you... But maybe the can at least do some backstage work at helping you with confessions?

"You see... I got something just for you! I have very important snow this weekend and naturally, I reserved a seat in front row just for you!"

Lyney smiled as he hands you the ticket with small bow, his eyes never leaving yours but not in a creepy way, he just couldn't help but admire you a bit.

"Oh you didn't had to really! But I do appreciate it. I'll definitely show up, thank you!"

"No need to thank me! It'll be enough for me if you come and let me see your smile~"

"What?"

Finally realizing what he said, his cheeks became red and began stuttering even tho he's usually smooth with his words.

"I meant- naturally I'd want to make... my audience happy! That's... just natural... magician's instinct! Yeah."

"Oh that's understandable! Well knowing you, your abilities and charms, I'm sure it won't be hard at all."

But he wasn't any better. You were clearly trying to compliment him, but he thought it's just you saying it as audience and not as someone with a crush...

"Actually... let's maybe make a plan. We can start tomorrow."

Freminet nodded on his sister's statement and entered their hous, leaving the two of you be and prepared the great plan with simple goal: getting you two together!

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@bleachtheidiot - come get your charming magician~

[isa-ghost]

*places down some money*

Phil headcannons please

*eats the coins whole*

Other qPhil headcanons

He means it 1000% when he says he'd burn the entire island to the ground for the kids. No building would be safe. Not even his own. All bets would be off. And if one of the other parents would do the same for their kid? He'd be right there with them.

He loves every egg, dead and alive alike. He has no clue what any of them think of him, and tbh he'd probably be overly humble or vaguely negative abt it bc he's just so shitty to himself when it comes to image related things, thinking they probably find him weird or smth. But he loves them all, and even if any of the eggs DO have a negative opinion of him, he'd still shed blood sweat and tears for them.

GUYS PLEASE THIS IS CANON BUT he is SO BAD at picking up on certain things if not explicitly told. If you have an issue with bird man you have to TELL HIM. He has a million other things on his mind and he has survival brain on by default which means several other things are taking up brainspace, he doesn't have the means to be looking for subtle signs someone isn't happy with him. FUCKING COMMUNICATE WITH HIM!!

Idk I just think Fit, Pac & Mike should convince him to get high with them. But I can't tell if I want to say he'd actually chill out for once & get a lil goofy or if he'd be the type that gets super anxious & hates every second he's stoned

Has a manga collection. It's not that big series-wise, he's a completionist so his collection is big bc he collects every volume of a series he's interested in. He has all of Bleach ofc, most of Chainsaw Man, probably 1-3 other series. He's preoccupied with other things usually so he hasn't read any of them in ages, but Chayanne has been going WILD reading them when he's not out and about

He gets sluttier when he's drunk. That confidence boost he gets when he's drunk enough goes places. Particularly when he's around Fit (Fit's a bad influence /pos)

Tbh? If his usual civil disobedience and the like don't work, I would not put it past him to follow Cellbit's example and just start killing Feds. I don't know how canon Phil's past is but if this is the man who helped create the Antarctic Empire or the man that leveled an entire country? Quesadilla Island's days are numbered and it will be Specifically to spite Cucurucho and any other Fed that's responsible for whatever Phil has an issue with. All it takes is taking his kids away again or hurting his friends :)

Fr tho if/when he finds out what they did to Jaiden or Baghera or anyone of the other islanders? He WILL be unleashing hell for them.

He's ready at all times to die for someone. The goal is to Not die, but if it comes to it, better him than them. And in classic hypocritical Phil fashion, he vehemently refuses to allow anyone to do the same for him. The survivor's guilt would be too much for him.

Outwardly, he processes grief and stress with humor. Because if he doesn't, he'll shut down emotionally and mentally. But don't think for a second that internally, he's a wreck. He's angry, he's in pain, he's stressed, he's conflicted, he's grieving. He just won't let anyone know he is. He doesn't like admitting it.

That said, GOD do hugs and random acts of kindness during tough/dark times get him. It's a hit straight to the heart. He'll get emotional before he can stop it or mask it. They mean more than anything, and they're the quickest way to make him realize just how much shit he's shouldering and bottling up.

Currently his greatest fear is the Federation finding out about or asking him questions related to Ender King. Normally he'd at least prepare how to answer such questions. In this case he has no clue what to say, which really stresses him out. And he knows fleeing the conversation wouldn't go well.

He doesn't typically do anything special with his hair but goddamn it looks good in a short braid. He only ever does smth with his hair for certain events, like Festa Junina. And that was mostly because Lullah insisted.

If the Federation one day declared every islander needed some kinda career for whatever weird reason, Phil's would be photography.

Don't listen to his complaining. He REALLY likes that there's so many birds around the house. Prefers them outside but he likes them around regardless.

[manestjerne]

The book of regrets part one

Summary: You're an avenger, Tony's younger sister. When things finally get quiet, Bucky reaches out for you to help him.

Word count: 6k

Warnings: guns, swearing, a little angst, mentions of mental disorders, angry behavior, injuries, lying

A/N: Okay, so Steve is gone, but the endgame never happened, no one's dead, I can't cope with that, okay?

It was supposed to be a one-shot, but I lost it after around 4k words, so there'll be more parts, that's why I finally created a

masterlist

I was sitting at my desk, going through some of the newest research Bruce sent me when my phone buzzed lightly. I moved my head slightly, my thoughts still on the research shimmering on my laptop’s screen.

You up?

I locked my eyes on the notification from an unknown number, knowing it usually means trouble. I slowly wrapped my fingers around the phone and picked it up, ready to look for some info about the number, but my hand clenched tighter when it started buzzing again. I stared at the screen for a few seconds before picking up and moving it slowly to my ear, not saying anything. 

„Hey, hope I’m not bothering you too much.”

„Bucky?”

I felt my shoulders relax, not even realizing how tensed I was a moment before. The familiar voice echoed lightly in my head, he was the last person I was expecting. 

„I’m sorry.” He paused for a second and I could almost hear how his jaw clenched before he started talking again. „Remember when you said I can count on you if I need anything? That’s a perfect moment for that.”

„What did you do?” 

I whined quietly in response, knowing he’s in real bad trouble if he’s asking me for help. He never did that, it was always Nat or Wanda, sometimes the others, but he never asked me, to not put me in danger. I was wondering why did he change his mind suddenly. 

„Look, you don’t have to come, but I’d appreciate that…” He paused again like he was struggling to just talk to me. „…asshole. I’ll send you the details if you’re interested.”

I smiled to myself at the insult, knowing he’s just trying to show me that he doesn’t care if I come. I looked at my phone again when he hang up, waiting for some sort information about what he wanted me to do, but only an address and time showed up on the screen when I felt the little buzz. I looked at the clock. 

„Two hours, great.”

I mumbled to myself, realizing the drive will take me about an hour and a half. I stood up rapidly putting all the necessities I my bag. I was prepared for that, honestly I was waiting for something like that to happen. After Steve left, things among the Avengers got pretty quiet and I missed the rush of adrenaline I got during missions. After 15 minutes my duffel was packed and I glanced at the room one more time to make sure I didn’t forget anything. I walked out through the kitchen when I heard a voice behind my back.

„Where are you going?”

Tony asked not lifting his eyes, still focused on whatever calculations he was working on. 

„Nat’s” I shrugged my shoulders like it was supposed to get the blame of lying to him out of my head. „I’m staying for the whole weekend.”

„Just don’t get into any trouble. Love you.”

He still wasn’t looking at me, and thank God he was so focused on his work. I felt guilt crawling up my spine and folding my mind with his last words, but I couldn’t tell him the truth. He wasn’t really fond of Bucky and we would argue, which I didn’t have time for. As a brother he was just trying to protect me and I was glad he did, but he was really overreactive sometimes and I needed a break from staying at home for so long.

„Love you too.”

I mumbled before rushing to the elevator.

„Hey Nat, what are you up to?”

I asked through the hand-free set as I was driving, checking the gps way too often. 

„Not much, why?"

She laughed at my directness. 

„If anyone asks, I’m staying at your place for the weekend, okay?”

I wasn’t planning on hiding anything from her, I knew she wouldn’t snitch about it, so I just chose to say exactly what’s on my mind.

„Oh, you fucking troublemaker. What are you up to now?”

I knew she rolled her eyes as she said this. I smirked at her reaction.

„Not sure, but some grumpy old man asked for my help and I’m too bored of sitting on my ass, since you stopped taking me on missions.”

„Bucky reached out to you?” She sounded surprised, which wasn’t a common emotion for her. „Is it about the whole New Captain America shit?”

„About what?”

I froze, realizing I’m not up to speed. I spent the last few days isolated in my room, trying to help Bruce with his research, it was really time-consuming. She laughed at my reaction and I promised to give her an update when I knew more. I spent most of my ride talking to her, which was one of my favorite things. Either listening to music or talking with Natasha while driving was a perfect way to clear my mind, one of my favorite ways to escape the reality. 

„Okay, I guess I’m here.” I said when I parked my car at an empty parking lot. „I’ll update you when I know anything. Just don’t rat on me, love you.” 

„Just don’t get yourself killed, love you too.” 

She hang up as I reached for my bag and left the car, slowly looking around. It seemed like I was alone, when I spotted a warehouse in the distance. A large field was separating from what I guessed was our meeting spot, so I couldn’t get any closer with my car and decided to walk on foot, cursing under my breath when I realized how far away it was. My breathing was getting heavier with each step when I reached the warehouse, still not seeing anyone, when a firm voice behind my back snapped me back to reality.

„I didn’t think you’d come.” 

I jumped, forgetting how smooth he can be. He snuck up on be from behind without any trouble, but I blamed the exhausting walk for my distraction. 

„Why’d you call me then?”

I rolled my eyes, looking at his face as he furrowed his brows thinking about a satisfying answer. 

„Because I knew you won’t freak out.”

What he said wasn’t even a bit of a satisfying answer, I still knew shit, but I turned my back to him when I heard the large door opening, realizing we’re not alone. Seeing a familiar face put me off guard and in a second I had my gun pointed at Zemo, without even thinking about it.

„The fuck is this?”

I scoffed not lowering my gaze, feeling the blood boil in my veins. Last time I saw Bucky, I helped him chase Zemo and now he brought me straight to him.

„Relax.” He said softly behind my back. „We need him just as much as we need you. Put the gun down, murderer.”

„We?” 

I asked, but as an answer, a tall man walked out of the warehouse, going through some notes he was holding. 

„Okay, we’re all set. Are we still waiting for her or is she-„ He stopped mid-sentence when he looked up and saw me, my fist still clenching on the gun I was pointing at Zemo seconds before he came here. „Shit, sorry. Didn’t know you’re already here. Nice to see you again.”

„Uh-huh, and you are…?”

I asked carelessly and heard Bucky sigh, as he was now standing next to me. 

„Girl, we’ve literally spent like three days together when we were trying to get him his mind back.”

He said with a scowl, nodding his head in Bucky’s direction.

„Oh, yeah. Sam.” I said when I finally remembered where do I know him from. „Sorry, I wasn’t really focused on making new friends then, kinda busy with some family drama.” 

The Civil War was an awful memory for me, as I betrayed Tony by getting on Steve’s side. We worked it out after a while, well, in the end I supported the Socovia Accords, distracting the whole team and letting them go after Zemo. I spent so much time helping Steve find Bucky and then continued to risk my life by helping him, only to find out, he's the person who killed my parents. Well, not exactly, I knew the difference between Bucky and the Winter Soldier, that’s why I got over it much quicker than Tony, but it still ached my heart. I would probably do it again, I knew he deserved my help, but I wish they told me before Zemo did.

„We should get going.”

Bucky said and took the bag off my shoulder in one, smooth motion. I let him do that, now fully focused on the private jet we were walking towards. It wasn’t anything new for me, as a Stark I was used to this kind of luxury but I had to ask.

„Where’d you get that?”

„It’s mine.” 

Zemo replied calmly when we were walking up the stairs.

„Oh.”

I mumbled quietly, loosing any further interest in the jet.

I sat on the seat I found the most comfortable and Bucky threw my bag at my feet before sitting down opposite and piercing me with his gaze. I smiled softly in reply, knowing it’ll piss him off, and it worked perfectly as he rolled his eyes once I did that.

„Can you now tell me where we’re going?” 

I looked closely at Bucky for the first time I saw him. He looked pretty miserable, but that wasn’t anything new, I was more worried about the bruises and scratches all over his face, now clearly visible in the bright light. And I knew there were more, hidden under his thick layers of clothing. I flinched when Sam threw a file on my knees. I opened it up and looked through the papers. It took me some time to read it all carefully, trying to remember any details that might be useful later. My eyes were flickering between the lines, comparing a few pages at once, trying to figure out more connections than they’ve already found, but their research was pretty solid. 

„Karli Morgenthau? That kid kicked your asses?” 

I looked at Sam before trying to figure out Bucky’s expression, but none of them replied.

„Why me? Why am I so perfect for this?”

I asked pretty annoyed, since they stopped replying any of my questions. 

„Because we saw, that you know how to fight a super soldier. You proved it more than once.”

Bucky said after a minute of awkward silence. I replied him with a blank stare, knowing he’s referring to me fighting Steve, when he went too harsh on Tony, that night in Siberia.

„You don’t have to do that, we can get you a flight back as soon as we land.”

He rolled his eyes with that and I replied with a huff, bringing my knees to my chest to shift into a more comfortable position, knowing we’re going have a long flight. I closed my eyes and tried to sink in the silence, but I was feeling quite uncomfortable, so I decided to take a guess. 

„Stop staring at me, freak.”

I knew I was right, when I opened my eyes and saw the grimace on his face. Bingo. 

„I told you to stop doing that Buck, it’s freaking people out.”

Sam chuckled from the sit on my right, but my eyes were still on Bucky. He looked at Sam for a quick second, before catching my gaze again. 

„She’s not freaked out because of my staring, just geniually afraid.”

He said with a teasing grin, but I knew he was waiting for an honest answer, hoping I won’t figure that out.

„Good point, I usually don’t trust people who shot me in the past.” 

My response was calm, my hands resting in the pocket of my jumper to hide the trembling. He got abashed by that, now wondering if that’s the truth, or maybe I knew what answer he was hoping for. He was praying in his mind for me to deny, knowing we all went through a lot with him as the Winter Soldier. But in his eyes I was the most fragile one, never been on a real war, just a spoiled little girl. He gave me one more careful look, but I did everything in my power to not let him know that I’m lying. I wasn’t afraid of him, I knew he wouldn’t hurt me now. I was sure about that, but if he wanted to play that game, acting like he doesn’t care? I had no point proving him otherwise. 

„So is her name in your book too?”

Zemo was first to break the silence. Bucky snapped his head in his direction, but I said nothing, acting like I don’t care what they’re talking about. 

„It’s not.”

Bucky hissed in response. I decided to not ask any more questions, just closed my eyes and rested my head on my shoulder, hugging my knees close to my chest. I felt that I started drifting away, giving up and deciding to ask more questions about the Flag Smashers when we reach our destination. I flinched and opened my eyes, feeling a soft material suddenly landing over my head. I took it off and looked at Bucky questioningly.

„Take a nap, we have some real shit to work out.”

I responded him with a smile and covered myself with the blanket he just threw at me, but he rolled his eyes and looked away. We didn’t hate each other, it wasn’t the point, but neither of us was going to give up and we only pushed ourselves further with all the teasing. I knew he’d do a lot for me, to protect me. But still we played our characters well, acting like we hate each other, when there was no need to care. I wasn’t sure why tho, sometimes I felt like I’m just fooling myself that he actually cares about me. That I’m too worried about him, to realize that I’m not important to him at all, trying to protect my bruised ego. I let my head fall back and closed my eyes again, hoping no one will interrupt this time. 

It felt like I just fell asleep, when a strong hand landed firmly on my shoulder.

„We’re almost there.”

Sam said in a soft voice when I opened my eyes. I looked around and realized everyone is looking at me.

„What? Was I snoring?”

I asked rolling my eyes before folding the blanket and putting it back under the table.

„We were just wondering…” Zemo started slowly, I forgot how annoying his accent was. „… how many guns did you take with you?”

„What kind of a stupid fucking question is that?” I snorted „Enough, but I believe they won’t be necessary.”

„What do you mean?” 

Zemo asked confused, but I was focused on Sam, his impression turned sad quickly, lowering his gaze to the ground and shaking his head slowly.

„They’re just a bunch of kids, you’re not planning on killing them, are you?” I huffed. „I’m not an assassin, that’s not why you called me. There must be another way.”

„So you’re just going to talk them out of killing innocent people? Sounds like a good plan.”

Bucky snorted, but I knew he was on my side here.

„She’s right.” Sam said quietly when we started landing, but we all could see Zemo’s impression, he was not pleased about what we've just said. „We just have to take control of the situation and calm everything down, killing them won’t solve the problem, there’ll be more.”

„But that way we could teach them a lesson.” Zemo said carelessly. „The car is waiting.”

„Where the hell are we?” 

I asked when we left the plane. The weather confused me as the warm breeze grazed my face.

„Riga.” 

Zemo replied peacefully when we were walking towards the car.

„It’s Donya Madani’s funeral today, that’s our chance to find them.”

Sam added to dispel my doubts. The ride wasn’t long, but very quiet, too quiet for me. Living in the Avengers Tower and being so close with Tony made me used to loud surroundings. I was always complaining about that, only missing it when the silence was too long, too loud. I took my phone out of my pocket and opened the chat with Natasha.

Just tracking a bunch of rebellian kids, I’ll be fine:)

I shut down the screen and started fidgeting with my phone, when Sam finally broke the silence. 

„How’s Wanda, she was pretty broken the last time I saw her.”

I turned my head his way before noticing Zemo’s stare in the rare mirror, but I ignored it.

„She’s better now, not fine, but better. Found her peace in Vision I guess, little traitor moved out.”

He chuckled at my answer and I let out a sigh of relieve as the car wasn’t so quiet finally. 

„How’s your sister, you have one, right?”

He looked at me confused, but then probably remembered I’m a Stark, I can get information on anybody, whenever I want. He smiled softly and nodded his head. 

„Having some trouble now, but we’re trying to figure it out, only getting better.”

„I didn’t know you have a sister.”

Bucky looked at us over his shoulder, he sounded a little offended. 

„Wondering why, you two are such besties, should know everything about each other.”

I answered sarcastically and Sam snorted again. The rest of our ride was quiet again, but the atmosphere wasn’t so tensed, letting me enjoy it more, before Zemo parked in a narrow street, in front of an old, but luxury looking tenement. I lazily got out of the car, letting Sam take my bag. Our walk to the building was short, but my attention was brought by a small, silverfish ball laying at the side of the street. I took a look around carefully when we were getting closer to the entrance door, when Bucky spoke up.

„I’m gonna take a walk.”

He said casually, but I knew what his destination was. Sam and Zemo nodded, opening the door. Sam gave me a questioning stare before entering, but I didn’t move, just replied with a meaningful smile and he nodded again, closing the door behind him. I turned around when Bucky was squatting, taking a closer look to the object that brought my attention earlier.

„It’s about Zemo, isn’t it?”

He flinched at my voice, not knowing I stayed outside. 

„Go inside, I’ll do the talk.”

He rolled his eyes and turned his back my way again, starting to walk towards the nearest corner. I sighed and followed him, almost running for a moment, before catching up.

„You shouldn’t have done that Bucky, that’s too much.”

I said firmly and brought my head up to look at him, but he didn’t mind looking back.

„You think it’s not too much for me?” He sighed before honoring me with a quick glance. „We need him, he got us closer than we could’ve gone alone.”

„You could’ve just called me earlier, you know I could help.”

He stopped unexpectedly and looked me in the eyes. 

„I hoped it won’t be necessary at all, I don’t want to put you at risk again.”

„Stop acting like anything that happened there was your fault. I’m not a damn kid, I know what and when I can handle, it was my choice to help Steve and I regret nothing.”

The words coming out of my mouth quickly, he was annoying me with trying to blame himself for everything, protecting me when it wasn’t needed. 

„You should regret that, I killed your parents.” 

He replied harshly before walking away. He confused me with his words, I needed to process what he said for a few seconds before following him again. 

„You didn’t, that was the Winter Soldier and we both know the difference, so stop fucking whining, I thought you went to the therapy to work on your PTSD.”

My answer was unexpected for both of us, his flesh fingers wrapped around my jaw as I stopped talking, but I couldn’t blame him. 

„You know shit about the difference, and you’re the one whining at the moment, so just go to the apartment and let me talk to them before I lose my temper.”

His hand left my face as soon as he stopped talking, but he didn’t move, still staring at me with his cold eyes, surprisingly filled with guilt, not anger. 

„Should’ve used the metal arm, you’re not going to scare me that way.”

I shrugged my shoulders and continue walking in the direction he chose.

„I’m not trying to scare you, just stop being such a fucking tease, damn it.”

I shook my head in response when we took the corner.

„Ayo.”

I noded at her slowly.

„Miss Stark.” 

She replied politely before turning to Bucky.

„I’m here for Zemo.”

„We need him.”

I replied without hesitation, ignoring Bucky’s annoyed look.

„You shouldn’t have done that, he still has his debt to pay.”

She wasn’t looking at me and I saw a muscle in Bucky’s jaw twitch before he answered.

„I apprecieate everything you did for me, he is just a means to an end.”

His voice was calm and respectful, his eyes fully focused on the tall figure in front of us. I never saw him talking with anybody like that, wondering what exactly happened during his stay in Wakanda. 

„He killed king T’Chaka and now you set him free? After all you went through to free yourself? You chose a wrong way here.”

I saw how she brought him down with just once sentence, still acting confident, but we both saw as he just wanted to shrink and disappear to avoid continuing this conversation.

„T’Challa chose for him to live and I’ll put him back in prison myself when we’re finished.”

I responded firmly, trying to take over and not make Bucky do anything he wanted to escape at that moment.

„No.” Ayo cut me off harshly. „We’ll take care of him now. In Wakanda. Eight hours.” 

She emphasized her last words and I felt shivers crawling up my spine. As much as I respected the whole Dora Milaje, how grateful I was for what Shuri ever did for us and how much I wanted to appreciate what the last king and his whole tribe did for me when I needed it, I was scared. Their help proved how devoted they were to just live in peace, they made me respect them and all their work. I turned my back to her and started walking away, Bucky following not long after me. 

When we reached the building I rested my back on the wall near the door and went through my pockets to find a pack of cigarettes, before putting one in my mouth and lightning it. I inhaled the smoke searching for some kind of relief as it spreaded through my lungs.

„I’ll catch up.”

I noded at Bucky, but he didn’t leave, looking at me closely. 

„I thought you quit.”

He furrowed his brows and crossed his arm on his chest.

„Nasty habit.” I shrugged, letting the silence last for a few more seconds before speaking up. „I started again when Steve left.”

His gaze felt to the ground immediately, I knew how much it hurt him. They only person who really cared all these years, his only chance of finding comfort, believing he was something more than just HYDRA’s weapon, leaving as suddenly as he appeared in his life again.

„He left me something.” I said slowly putting my hand I my pocket, grabbing the cold, thin metal with my fingers, hesitating if I should do it, but I knew he deserved this piece of him back. „Here.”

His eyes widened as he saw the dog tag I was holding. Taking a closer look he could see his name engraved on it. 

„I wanted to give you this earlier, but well, never had a chance to do it.”

My fingers clenched tighter on the chain for a second, before I let him take it. He examined it closely before opening his mouth.

„Where did he got it? Why did he gave it to you, not me?” 

I knew there were much more questions in his head, but I didn’t know the answer to any of them. I sighed softly before taking another drag.

„I don’t t know. We’ll never know.”

I looked at the cigarette between my fingers, realizing I finished it much faster than I expected. I put it out in a bin and gave Bucky one more reassuring look, while he was still turning the little sheet of metal between his fingers.

„Let’s go.” I squeezed his arm softly before entering the building. 

We didn’t know how Zemo got any information about the address, but we were finally standing in front of the building, the memorial was supposed to happen in. I heard a soft, friendly voice behind my back, when we all turned to face it.

„Bucky! Sam!” The blonde man paused for a second taking a closer look at me „Miss Stark? Woah, what an honor.”

I raised my eyebrow and looked at Bucky who rolled his eyes, looking more annoyed than I’ve ever seen him.

„Who the fuck are you?”

My eyes wandered all over his body, feeling my fists clench, seeing another man wearing Captain’s America suit. He had no right to do that, he had no right to put his hands on the shield. I thought about what Nat told me earlier, the whole New Captain America shit. I never thought she’s so serious about it.

„My apologies, I never introduced myself, people mostly know me now.” He smiled showing his white teeth and I felt a grimace of disgust forming on my lips. „I’m John Walker, Captain America. This is Battlestar.”

I snorted at the little nickname his friend got for himself.

„You’re not Captain America, you’ll never be.” My voice filled with hate and disrespect wiped his smile away for a second. „And you still have the nerve to walk around with that shield on your back, you have no self respect, do you?”

I felt quiet chuckles coming from both Bucky and Sam as my anger was starting to grow every second I kept looking at the muppet standing in front of me. 

„I knew I’ll enjoy their first meeting.”

Sam whispered, but I couldn’t focus on their reactions, my knuckles starting to turn white from how hard I was clenching my fists.

„Basically, this shield is a government property, and well” he chuckled proudly „since I’m the government, I have all rights to use it.”

„This shield was made by my father and the government took the rights illegally after his death, so basically you should shut the fuck up before I lose my temper.”

Bucky groaned proudly as I repeated his words from earlier, I turned his way completely ignoring the farce behind my back.

„You’re not cooperating with them, are you?”

„Well, basically…” John started „…you have to do that, government orders.”

„You’re such a dog for mister president, huh?” I grinned through my teeth „Little muppet just following him around and completing all the orders. Just don’t get in my way or I’ll have to get rid of you, and I really worked hard on my reputation for the last few years, don’t make me ruined it again.”

I started walking towards the building, Bucky and Sam following me closely until me met with Zemo, after entering through the back door.

„Now, you don’t get in my way, or I’ll take the necessary measures.” 

He followed us inside, probably thinking of a come back the whole time.

„Yeah, arrest me, whatever. Just shut your mouth before I help you.”

I took my gun out checking again if it’s loaded, praying I won’t have to use it. 

„Excuse me” I groaned turning his way, as he had he audacity to open his mouth again. „Did you break out a prisoner? How dumb are you, bringing him to me? What is he doing here?”

„He’s definitely being less annoying than you.” I got a quiet chuckle even from Zemo this time. „He escaped alone, we had nothing to with it and you shouldn’t be worried about that.” 

„I demand your respect, you can’t treat me like that. I’m taking care of the order now, wether you like it or not, so you better-"

I cut him off with a loud laugh, but Bucky and Sam got defensive immediately, taking a step closer to him.

„She better what?”

 „Okay, you know what?” His impression turned into a fake, friendly smile again. „We should just work this out together and then I’ll arrest him. I won’t take you if you cooperate with me. So what’s the plan?”

I rolled my eyes and looked at Sam, he was the one to speak up first. 

„I’ll go talk to her, just don’t interrupt us, there has to be more than just a murderer in her, I’ll get it out.”

His words were calm and firm. He knew what he was talking about, before becoming an Avenger he used to run a therapy group for veterans, he just knew how to deal with people like her. 

„I’ll go with you, but we do that alone, no interruptions, no help, unless we say we need it. Let’s not get these kids killed.”

„He’s an ex-soldier, used to this kind of situations, who are you, thinking you can handle it?” 

John asked irritated, I knew it was only because I made demands, he was just trying to putt me off guard.

„I’m a woman, so believe me, I can talk to people better than any of you.”

I said carelessly and Bucky scoffed, I rolled my eyes at him.

„Ten minutes.”  John said taking out his handcuffs and walking towards Zemo. „And he stays here, I’ll deal with it when we’re finished.”

I followed Sam to the main hall, where Karli was standing alone, probably aware that we’re coming.

„We’re sorry for your loss.” 

Sam started when we came closer to her.

„No, you’re not.”

She scoffed angrily, taking a step back.

„Karli, we’re just here to talk, please listen what we want to say.”

„I know who you are. You’re not fond of talking, none of the Avengers are. You don’t understand what we’re doing, what we’re fighting for.”

She was frustrated and probably scared. I knew there were people watching us, making sure she’s safe. But they were hiding for now, giving us the space to continue. 

„You can’t fight for your rights by hurting other people, we’re here to help, just let us.”

I continued slowly, taking a step towards her once more, and she didn’t back off this time, I saw it as a good sign. 

„People who are getting hurt deserve it. You should know how it works.”

I sighed, I knew how many innocent people were hurt by the Avengers, by us trying to save the word, sometimes just causing more damage. I understood clearly what she was referring to. 

„You’re not making the word a better place by doing all this. We can go through it together, not killing anyone.”

She was looking less tensed as Sam was speaking, gently resting her hips on the table behind her.

„How would you like to do that? There’s no place for us, there won’t be without a war I’m about to start.”

„I'm the one to help you here.” My words were careful, trying not to offend her, but firm at the same time. „I have all you need, I have money. I understand your point of view, you’ve been abandoned after the blip, and I honestly understand what you’re fighting for, your point of view isn’t so strange to me. But there don’t have to be so many victims. Innocent victims.”

I emphasized the last words as she was listening to me more carefully now, but still not convinced by anything I’ve said. 

„That money is covered in blood, I’m not taking charity. I’m fighting for more people than you can imagine, they need me. They need my help.”

„Right now, your hands are covered in blood Karli, is that what you’re fighting for?”

She got quiet after Sam’s words. She needed a moment to process it, but she was trusting us slowly, I could see the change in her impression. I rested on the table next to her, still giving her the space to think about it, to leave it all and accept our help. Try to figure it out together, without violence and hate. Suddenly I heard loud footsteps approaching us, realizing it’s over, she won’t trust us, not now, not after what she sees. The door swung open as John entered the room.

„You traitors! I almost believed you.” 

She shouted as more people started flooding the room. She pushed me from the table I was sitting on and I landed on the ground, completely giving up, covering my face so her punches wouldn’t reach it.

„You don’t understand Karli. We’re not working with him, he’s trying to bring us down to, just listen!”

I screamed at her, refusing to his her back, not wanting to fight her. I tangled my leg with hers, bringing her to the floor as I stood up.

„Just listen.”

She looked behind me, seeing John coming our way as she jumped up and started running. 

„You fucking idiot!”

I yelled, trying to run after her, but he grabbed my arm and pulled me back. I looked around, seeing Bucky and Sam handling it pretty well, I decided to go after John and Karli, but it was too late. I found John standing in a corridor alone, panting heavily next to a broken window.

„She’s gone.” He said between deep breaths. „She’s gone and it’s your fault.”

„We almost had it, she was talking to us, she was willing to trust us. You fucked it, not me.”

I said turning away and walking back to the main hall.

„I won’t hesitate next time I see her.”

I ignored him, walking into now almost empty room. 

„You alright?”

Sam asked when I gave him a hand to help him get up.

„Perfect.”

The three of us were walking back to the apartment alone, knowing Zemo is probably waiting for us there. Sam was walking faster, a few steps ahead of me and Bucky.

„Why didn’t you fight her back?”

Bucky asked quietly, not looking at me, but his brows were furrowed as always. I knew he was blaming himself for fighting them, when he saw me just giving up on Karli.

„Steve did the same with you, when you were the Winter Soldier. I was there to help her, not to fight her.”

He hummed in response, probably thinking about the time when he had to fight Steve, when he had the urge to kill him, but something stopped him from doing that.

„I think that’s why he gave it to me.” He was now looking at me, as I pointed my finger at the silver dog tag on his neck, shimmering lightly in the bright rays of the sun. „He wanted me to remember who you really are, to help you if you need it when he’s not around.”

„Then why’d you give it to me?”

He looked at me confused, but a soft smile started forming on his lips.

„I don’t need a reminder of who you are, but I think you do.”

[ja3mln]

YAY REQUESTS ARE BACK- I am a sucker for fluff honestly but can u do a one shot where barista!jaemin has a crush on a customer who’s coffee order is the same as his (8 shots coffee thingy) hehehe thank you I really love ur posts btw 🥰🤭

im literally obsessed with barista jm help!!! tysm for ur request hope u like it (its very small djjdjdkd)!!<3

cw: barista!jaemin, pure fluff, jaemin is whipped for y/n.

jaemin remembers the first time you enter the small coffee shop. he remembers exactly what you were wearing. how your hair were messy and wet because of the rain. how you looked relieved to finally escape the bad weather. the moment you looked up and smiled at him. but what he mostly remembers is the first words he heard from you; "hello, a caffe americano with 6 extra shots please.", at that moment, jaemin just felt like his heart was going to burst out his chest. not only you were the most beautiful person he's never seen but your order was literally the same as him. word for word. he also remembers the way you had to repeat yourself because he zoned out as soon as he heard your voice. "sorry... your name?", "y/n". y/n. this name keep just resonating in his head for the past weeks. he couldn't stop thinking about the small smiles you'll give him everytime you enter the coffee. how you'll sometimes be in rush and look so cute when you panick because you're late for work but just can't leave without your 6 shots of coffee. before that day, jaemin wasn't very excited about his work, always complaining to his friends how work is boring and how much is co workers are annoying but since that day, he never complained again, waking up every morning with hope that you'll come get your usual coffee and that he'll get his usual smile and greetings.

and just like that, jaemin found himself waiting for you every morning, trying to strike up a conversation everytime but just end up stumbling over his words and hand you your order with a friendly smile, waiting for your small thank you. but today is different. today, jaemin was determined to finally talk to you. at least to say other words than "hello" and "the usual?". so when you pass the door, he prepares himself mentally, repeating the few extra words in his head and without even realizing, you're already standing in front of him "hi jaemin", he's still not used to you calling him by his name and the way his cheeks heat up every single time, "hey y/n, the usual right?", you just nod with the same usual smile that makes jaemin's cheeks heat up every single time. "to be honest, i'm surprised you didn't get scared of my order", you let out a small giggle, looking at jaemin, which look up at you with the widest smile, feeling his chest warm up because he's so happy to finally have a real conversation with you (without even being the one to start it). "maybe it's the fact that i literally drink the same drink as you...", he laughs and hands you the hot cup, making sure to wrap a napkin around it. "what? no wayyy! why didn't you tell me before?", you reply, sounding way too excited, not that jaemin hates it but he's just suprised by your reaction. "well... i don't know, i didn't want to sound creepy or something i guess...", he says softly, "you don't sound creepy at all, honestly i feel relieved that i'm not the only one drinking that much coffee.", you both laugh, "well, i'm glad we have this in common", jaemin only realizes what he said when he sees your cheeks heat up and a few seconds of silence follow his last word, "i have to go... but i'll see you tomorrow!", he just nods, still trying to wash his embarrassment away, "thank you for always serving me the best coffee, jaemin, see you!" you offer him a sweet smile before turning around to exit the coffee shop, leaving jaemin standing there in total awe. this small conversation was enough to make jaemin's day, he's never been this happy to be at work. he couldn't wait for tomorrow and even found himself daydreaming about your next conversation the whole day.

[sonderhearts]

Hellooo

Soooo i totally got this plot from one of my favorite books but i saw that you do taboo stuff so what about an au where Ghost quits the military thing because of all the mental health issues that come with it and he tries different things as a civilian, one of them is preparing to be a priest and he achieves it (maybe being a priest in a small town will help to ease his past turmoiled life) but then reader moves to said town, escaping from her family because her ex bf outed her as a "weirdo" just because she has "not so common" kinks like cnc but then she sees how hot the town priest is so she starts volunteering in the church to get close to Ghost, even if she can't have him, not knowing Simon is also having a hard time keeping it together, but then she starts confessing her sins to Ghost and one day Ghost can't take it anymore, he takes his cock out while reader confesses and cums inside the confessionary just listening to her nasty sins

... was that too long?? Is just an idea haha i also hope it's not too much 😥

A|N — god tier stuff!!! You always give me some of my favourite asks. Hope you enjoy darling 🫶🏻

-ˋˏ 𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐌 ˎˊ-

priest!ghost × afab!reader [ongoing]

warnings/tags — 18+, smut, priest!ghost, male and female masturbation, mentions of cnc, sub!reader, tiny bit of degradation, mild sir kink, religious talk.

Summary — you go to confess your sins on some nasty thoughts you have... Simon finds them more than just intriguing.

Part two [not yet done]

Everytime he heard her voice, his body tensed — not because he disliked this girl no, far from it, more because her confessions always brought something out of him that he can’t quite describe. Though it goes against everything he’s working for. Yet, he can’t stop.

She is a guilty pleasure.

Simon sits back on the confessional, placing his large hands atop his thighs, lightly scratching at the fabric as he awaits his next confessor.

Once again, that familiar voice sounds through the box.

“Father Simon.” You greet him, accustomed to this ordeal now thanks to your regular visits to spill your sins upon his non-judgmental ears.

“Thank you for coming, please, confess.” He says, his voice a lower octave than usual, something that always happens within your presence.

For a moment there’s silence and he almost wonders if you up and left. That’s until he hears a small sigh that breaks his train of thought. He’s relieved you’re not gone.

“Father I can’t stop having these shameful thoughts— I dream of them in my sleep and dream of them in the day.” You start, looking down at your shoes nervously. Despite how many times you’ve confessed your thoughts, it never stops being a little embarrassing.

“Please, continue. Confess and be free of your sins, let me listen.” His voice sends shivers down your spine. Despite you never getting to see his face during these talks, you always imagine it. A soft expression in those deep brown eyes, rubbing his thumb over the fabric of his pants — a habit he does when he’s focused, or nervous.

With a deep breath you continue, “I daydream of being taken by someone, usually against my will. Well, sort of against my will. I like it though.”

Now this. This is new to him, more intriguing than usual.

“Oh?” The word escapes him and he cursed himself for sounding interested. “Please continue, let me understand the depth of your sinful thoughts.”

You’re sure you’re mistaking it, though it does sound like he’s speaking a bit different. Lower, every vowel in each word says is annunciated. Shaking your head, you try to gather your thoughts.

“I’m not sure really... I like the thought of someone pinning me down, forcing me to squirm and struggle, begging to be let go,” you gulp nervously. On the other side of the booth Simon fidgets, rubbing his thumb against the fabric of his trousers, other fingers almost clawing into it.

Yet his voice remains composed. For now.

“Hm, that is a rather sinful thought.” He says, albeit kind of dryly. “How does the situation usually turn out in your head?” He tilts his head while asking, rubbing his trousers a little rougher now.

“It usually continues, a struggle as they pin me down, pushing my face down into some pillows while keeping my hands pinned behind my back with one of their’s.” Your hand begins to wander as you speak, softly kneading your inner thigh as you look over at the wall between you and Simon. You desperately want to see his expression.

He feels his chest tighten, the imagery popping into his head involuntarily. He imagines pinning you down onto the bed, watching you squirm and cry out his name while he keeps you still.

Imagining bringing his spare hand between your thighs, kneading your ass softly in his grip. God, he usually wouln’t use the lord's name in vain but right now, that’s all he wants to do.

“Continue.” Simon bluntly says. You can hear the dryness in his voice now, how it’s straining just a tad. You like that fact.

It’s getting to him.

“Yes father,” you hand begins to wander further, palming over your panties under your skirt while letting out a shuddery sigh, “I usually imagine their hands going between my thighs, slipping their fingers through my f-folds.” You whimper out the last part, circling your clit through the thin fabric over it.

A deep, gutteral groan leaves his lips at your whimper, desperate to hear more of your sweet noises.

“How do you imagine it to feel...?”

“Like heaven... Or as close as I can get to it.” Biting your bottom lip gently, you rub yourself softly through your panties, imagining your fingers to be his. Shifting in the seat you spread your legs a little wider — as if you’re trying to accommodate an extra body between them.

“Filthy girl.” Heart bursting out of your chest, you cease your actions just for a moment, trying to process if he actually just muttered those two words. “Is there someone in particular you imagine?”

Simon begins to palm himself slowly, rubbing over his growing erection that’s contained by his tight trousers; the ones you love to watch him walk away from you in.

“Father Simon I—” you whine, not really wanting to fess up about how deep your fantasies go. “I-I think of you.”

“Fuck,” you hear him softly curse and it’s the first time you’ve ever heard him do it, considering his a priest and all. “Good, that’s good.”

He doesn’t shy away from it, instead the furthest opposite. To his acception of this you let your head loll back, staring at the golden light, God rays peering through the shapened holes of the confessional. Quickly you started up where you left off, though this time sliding your fingers under the hem of your panties, collecting up some arousal from your slit and dragging it up to circle your bundle of nerves.

“Mmh... Simon,” he listens to your little whimpers, small pleads along with his name on your tongue. He eats it up, hearing your voice say his name like that only riles him more, so much so he’s unbuttoning his trousers to expose his pants underneath. His cock is beyond hard, almost painfully.

Since becoming a priest he didn’t necessarily stop touching himself but he did slow. It only leaves him feeling more needy for that wet little pussy that he dreams of fucking every night while he strokes himself off.

Now finally he has the sounds to go with those fantasies, as well as a chance to turn those fantasies into a reality.

Gently he prods his tip, noticing the damp patch that’s been forming on the fabric of his boxers. Instantly he groans, tilting his head to the side where you are on the other side of the thin wall separating the two of you. Desperately he wants to meet your gaze, see every expression you make while touching yourself.

“Go on, keep sayin’ my name lass, utter those dirty little sins to me. I wanna hear what you want me to do to you.” Despite not having done this for awhile, he’s not lost his spark. Still the smooth talker he’s always been.

“Simon please,” pressing three fingers over your clit you stroke yourself faster, “I need you.”

You hear him hum in response, as well as you hear his breathing quicken along with the sound of fabric being removed.

“I know, I know. Can’t right now, you know that.” While Simon desperately wants you — wants to do all the things you told him about and more, he’s got that twinge of guilt. Promised himself he’d do better, just do his job and get on with his quaint, quiet life.

Yet here he is, jacking himself off while listening to the confessions of a sweet little sinner that he can never stop staring at in church.

Fuck, he’s always staring. Those pretty white dresses you always wear, just a tad too short for such a religious setting. He likes the way you kneel to pray, dipping your head down and muttering softly to be forgiven. God knows why you were asking for forgiveness. Now him and God get to share that knowledge.

“C’mon lamb keep talkin’ to me.” His formal speech fades, melting into a thicker Scottish accent, shortening his words while he coaxes more out of you.

“I-I’ve wanted you so bad, been thinking about it everytime I come to church. Can’t help it.” Your words fill his ears like his favourite melody, making him softly slide his boxers down so his cock can spring free.

“Mmm, s’that so? So, so sinful.” His palm wraps around his shaft, making him jump at how hard and almost painful it is, “filthy little girl. Knew there was somethin’ going on behind those pretty doe eyes.” He pumps himself slowly.

“M’sorry I’m not a good girl. Been sinning since I started coming here.” Fingers slide over your clit, pinching gently. Every part of you wants him so bad, just to be inside you so bad.

Listening a bit harder you can hear him panting, damn near growling at your words, all that along with the light wet sounds coming from him pumping is aching cock.

You imagine what it looks like... How pink his leaking tip must be, the way it’s probably veiny and throbbing for you.

Sure you’ve seen cock before but you’ve only ever had one boyfriend and he never truly felt good inside you. Not enough thickness, length, never saying anything to you to help you along.

Simon groans, thinking about how badly he needs you. Needs that tight cunt around his cock, bouncing up and down it with his large hands guiding your plush hips. Swiping his thumb over the top, collecting some precum he whines. So sensitive.

“What are you doing to yourself, hm? Describe what you’re doing with those pretty delicate fingers and don’t think for a second I didn’t notice. Can hear how slick you are from jus’ thinkin’ about me.”

You make the most lewd noise in response, rubbing yourself a bit faster.

“Ahn— I’m just circling my clit...” You whine shyly, peering down between your legs to stare at the way your fingers desperately rub around the bundle of nerves, a spark of shame running through you. You’re sitting in a confessional, getting yourself off at your priest talks to you — touching himself on the otherside.

So sinful...

“You poor little lamb, bet you’ve been desperate for me haven't you? Needy f’me.” Nodding in response, you realise he can’t hear you so you do your best to vocalise it.

“Mmh, yes sir.” Squeaking out that name you make his cock jolt in his hand, twitching at being called such a name.

Pumping himself faster, he can already feel his orgasm fast approaching. After the months and weeks that he neglects it, his cock grows desperate for relief. Not only from his rough hand but your pretty cunt that he knows damn well would be so tight that it would choke his cock.

The imagery in his head and it’s almost sending him over the edge. However he doesn’t want to cum yet no, he wants to hear your sweet whines and moans while you finish as he gets himself off to it.

“Simon I can’t go much longer.” Your voice calls to him, making his hand go faster, fist clamped around his length — mouth agape, an almost whine leaving his lips. He’s so desperate but so are you.

“Cum for me lass... Let me listen to those pretty noises. Need’ta hear ’em.” Simon groans at the end, looking down at his cock in his hand. The tip’s leaking, dribbling down onto his roughed knuckles, down the back of his hand. In his mind an image of you pops up, knelt on your knees in one of those dresses you always wear to church.

He imagines those doe eyes, pupils blown wide and filled with desperation for him. For a taste. Sometimes Simon can be oblivious but those looks never went over his head, the way you'd tease him with every word you spoke from those soft lips. How he’d like to put something between them.

“Si— ah! Simon.” His words are the final straw, forcing tingles up between your thighs and through your spine. Your fingers go a little faster now, chasing that high, chasing that feeling that so far only you have been able to give yourself.

Gently you slither your right hand down, slipping a middle finger into your heat. A strangled moan leaves your lips at the feelings, thinking about how his fingers would feel. You always watch him, the way he flicks the pages of his Bible, licking his thumb before turning the page. They’re thick and long, it would probably stretch you with one alone.

You’d revel in that pain.

Panting he pumps himself faster, Keeling over himself as he chased his own high.

“Cum. Cum for me and I promise I’ll make this up to you some way darling I p-promise that.” Simon stutters at the end, feeling himself get close.

His promise is enough for you, you didn’t even expect more than what you’re getting today and you’d have been happy with that. The thought of more than just this excites you.

A new gush of arousal coats your finger and you whine, curling it up into that soft spot that makes you unravel.

“G’nna— gonna cum Si-” a moan rips through your throat, clenching around your finger and stroking your clit almost too roughly. Your cum spills, dripping down your own hand and onto the seat you’re on. Though you don’t notice that.

Hearing you finish sends him over the edge, clutching his cock tightly he pumps only a few more times and then spills out himself. His cum spurts up, going all over his hand and his trousers. Simon groans sweetly, muttering curses and praises.

“Good girl, such a good girl— fuck, such a dirty little thing for me. So good.” He gives it a few more strokes before stopping, already feeling overstimulated.

You pant softly, looking down at how your thighs are covered in slick and sweat. In all honesty you grimace at how desperate you are and were. Getting so worked up for a man who’s older than you, someone who your dad for sure wouldn’t like to see you with. He wouldn’t really like to see you with anyone though.

You hear Simon clear his throat, along with the sound of his trousers being zipped back up and adjusted. He’s still rock hard despite already cumming.

“Thank you for coming to me sweetheart. You’re free of your sins and forgiven.” Somehow he sounds already more composed even seconds after finishing. “Next time you find yourself having such thoughts, don’t hesitate to come to me and confess... I’ll always listen.”

Simon’s words have a sweetness to it, like more than just something dirty. You desperately hope you’re right about that.

“Thank you father Simon. I will.” You reply with a smile, as if he’s looking at you right now.

Carefully you get up, minding the shake in your legs. Brushing down your slightly ruffled skirt you go to the door, slipping it open and peering around for any sign of life. To your relief there’s no one.

Taking a glance at where Simon would be you grin again. “Bye.” With that you take off, walking down the middle isle with a pip in your step and a dumb grin on those lips.

Simon huffs, trying to wipe the smile off his. Even if he feels guilty for several reasons, he hasn’t cum like that in years no matter what he watched or did. He’s going to need that again.

“Jesus...” He mutters, getting up from his seat and making sure it’s all clear.

Opening the door his eyes go to the side you were on. He thinks to himself it’s best he checks it’s all clear too — surely you wouldn’t be so careless?

Of course you would be.

He peers into the tiny room, spotting the leather seat glistening in the warm lighting that shines into the room. Instantly his palm meets his mouth, feeling almost shameful.

Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to stay an extra few minutes before closing up.

Simon eyes the church, making sure it’s clear he closes the door behind him.

He’s got a few sins to confess of his own.

Tags — @lieblinqs @fullldash

[beskarinhyperspace]

A Ripple In Space

I just want to know you more. 

More Chapters | MASTERLIST

4. Viper 

*Mature, Explicit, NSFW*

Kylo Ren x fem.reader

WC  6k  *Canon Divergence, angst, slow burn, soft dom, hurt/comfort

As you softly open your eyes to the low humming of the ship. You move your hand to the rest of the empty mattress. Realizing that you are indeed alone. Fully opening them, you quickly start to remember where you were. 

Oh maker, I'm in his room.. 

Now fully awake at the realization, you slowly remember the previous night, having a hard time processing it. Your chest was suddenly moving quicker, knowing how much of a traitor this was making you. You were an ally to the jedis and to the resistance. Just like your parents were before you and you just slept with Kylo fucking Ren.. As you pass your hands in your hair trying to recollect yourself, you let out a deep sigh. You had just woken up and were already feeling drained. 

You finally calmed down and glanced at his empty pillow. Which gave you an instant pinch in your chest, and just like that, you can't stop your mind from going back to his soft and plumped lips. Twitching as he was moving closer. His eyes, deeply looking at you with desire. How could someone be so violent and yet this gentle? Thinking back on how the rage was consuming him as he previously choked the guard. The horror you felt seeing him igniting the red beam of his sword. The one that brought so much destruction and fear across the galaxy. 

It doesn't take long for you to hear your stomach growl. Finally getting up and out of the bed, you move slowly to the kitchen. Living life on a ship was truly a different experience than the one you had on land. You miss the warmth of the sun on your bare legs in the morning. Sunbathing on the balcony with your caf in hand. Here, the air is recycled and for some reason it is always cold. To be completely honest with yourself, the dark colors of the ship gave you more goosebumps than the cold air.  

As you’re making some eggs on the stove behind the counter, you hear the swooshing sound of the front door opening.  

Maker he's already back. You tell yourself, not being mentally prepared to face him again. You can feel your heart beating faster as the heavy steps are coming closer to the kitchen. You see a man turning the corner with a small cart. Giving you a wave of instant relief. He was tall, with dark hair and defined features. He was not only wearing the ship’s uniform. He also had the official cap and badges completing the ensemble. You stood there like a deer caught in headlights, hair all over the place with a spatula in hand. Trying to cover your thighs as much as you can with the oversize tee you're wearing. Even behind the counter, you still felt naked. 

“Oh, I am sorry miss. I didn’t.. It's usually empty. I’m simply the cleani.. I can come back later.”  

You couldn't help but smile timidly at his anxious avoidance. ´He looks really cute’, telling yourself as you're trying to focus. “It’s okay. I’m actually new here, kind of.. You can carry on, I was going out anyway.” 

The man takes a moment, staring at you as you return to your cooking. After a moment you peek at him through the fallen hair hiding parts of your face. “Yes?” 

He clears his throat, “Isn’t it a bit late to be going to work? The day shift has already started.” 

You give him a smile before replying, “I don’t have a job, yet. Like I said, I am quite new here..” 

“Right, sorry for my intrusion.” 

“Don't mind it. I enjoy your company. It has been weeks since I've talked to an actual human being and not guards or droids.” rolling your eyes sideways. 

He walks closer to the kitchen island. “Well, I’m Henry. Nice to meet you.” Smiling as he shows you his hand to shake. 

“You can call me Viper..” moving slightly forward to shake it with yours. 

“Cool, well.. I better start if I want to live for the next 24 hours.” He breathes out as he's going through his cleaning supplies.  

“Do you know where I can find work?” 

He looks at you before answering, “Well I heard they need help in electric. Wiring, to be precise. I can give a word for you if it’s somethi-” 

“Yes! Please, I would really appreciate it.” cutting him off as you smile brightly. 

-- 

In the meantime, Kylo Ren was sitting in his office with his chair turned and facing the window. The light coming from it was softly hitting half of his face and body as he was watching the calm darkness of space. He had woken up early, not being capable of keeping himself asleep while being so close to you. He didn't want to leave the ship for duties just yet. Even though he knew absolutely nothing about you, no amount of time was enough with you. He was tested by his curiosity and now, you were all he could think about.  

I can’t keep losing control like this, trying to remind himself. He lets out a deep sigh as he rises from his chair, putting his helmet on. I’m going to be gone for a couple of weeks. That should be enough to forget about her, right? ..And her, me. 

As he’s moving through the hallways, he hears a familiar voice nearby. He halts, moving his body to the corner of the wall while listening closely. 

“Thank you for helping me clean the place that was nice of you.” A man says. 

“I told you; I enjoyed it..” The familiar voice responds gently. 

Laughing, “You must be the only one I know who does. See you around,  Viper..” As he moves away, you smile shyly to the back of him, pressing your lips together. 

A pinch in his chest makes Kylo step behind you quickly, “making friends I see.” Your blood runs cold as you hear the static of his modulated voice.  He was hovering you with his height. Looking as intimidating as the day you first saw him. His mask analyzes you as you try to keep control of yourself. You haven’t done anything wrong but somehow it felt like you did. Seeing you avoidant and playing with your shirt, makes him mad. He starts pushing you back into the wall behind you. Giving you no other choice than to fall into it. By default, you try to take as little space as you can manage between his broad arms placed on each side of your head. He had his way of making you feel small and today was no exception. “Unless he’s more than a friend..” Suggesting as he tilts his head to the side. 

“No, I was simply helping him with his tasks I swear.” answering while staring at your feet. “I don't even know him. I just met him.” 

He takes a harsh breath before removing his helmet with one hand, “look at me.” But you were too scared to look. Only give him a quick glance before returning your gaze down. “I said look at me, Viper..” Saying your name in a low, firm tone. You swallow, looking up to meet his eyes properly. They were small and dark from stress and lack of sleep. His plump lips twitching as he was staring at yours. “Viper, I have to say, it suits you well.” saying softly. “Now how does one acquire a name like that?”  

“My father gave it to me before he passed.” You say, trying your best to keep your voice steady. You didn't want to lie, but you don't want to tell the whole truth either. 

“What about the boy, mh?.. I thought we were going to be honest with one another.” 

“I met him this morning, I swear nothing happened.” you protest. 

He scowls, “well you knew nothing of me..” stating as he takes his hand to cover the side of your head before closing his eyes. As he focuses you feel the same aura and feeling you sensed while he was thrusting inside you the previous night. The white and warm light radiating around him. He was searching your mind as you randomly see memories coming to you quickly. Starting to breathe faster, you feel a drop of sweat tickling the edge of your hairline. You try to fight the invasion as much as you can, but it stops on a memory you formed this very morning. The one blushing as you saw Henry in your oversize tee. Trying to stretch the fabric down to cover your legs. Suddenly, Kylo pushes himself back, as he watches you fall on your knees.  

“You were almost naked.” he urges, his voice becoming dangerous. “What happened!?”  

“You saw what happened, why are you asking me?” saying while calming yourself down. 

“I want to hear it from you.” 

You peek at him through your fallen hair in disbelief. “He came in to clean your quarters. At first, I thought it was you. I was cooking, I thought I was alone. He presented himself and that's it. We talked about a jo-” 

“The desire..” he says angrily. 

Okay now you were extremely confused. “Desire? What desire?” 

Trying to make sense of what just happened, He takes a moment before speaking. He was used to entering people’s minds and even controlling them, but this felt weird, even for him. He was able to feel your emotions like they were his. Something he had never experienced before, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to after this. “The one you have for him.” eyes daring you to say otherwise. 

Your lips parted as you were slowly panicking. “I-I just find him cute. That’s all, I swear.” 

His hand twitched as he was looking deeply into your eyes, searching for the truth. He could see how frightened you were but also how sincere. He knew he couldn't fight it as he came back to you slowly. Bending slightly, he takes your hands and uses them to pull you back on your feet. He gently pushes the hair out of your face with the back of his fingers before passing his thumb over your lips. Staring at them, he slides his hand to grab the side of your jaw. “I have to leave for a short while, but I trust you will follow our agreement.” Seeing him clench his teeth before looking into your eyes. Fighting the urge to taste you on his lips. “You must sleep in my quarters. That is the only place I know you will be-” 

“Safe, I know. Don’t worry about me. I’m a big girl.” stating as you smile. 

“It’s not you I'm afraid of.” he grimaced, “promise me.”  

“I promise” you confirm before letting out a deep sigh. 

Without a word, he puts his helmet back on and turns away. 

What did I get myself into? 

-- 

Weeks have gone by without any news of Kylo Ren. While the crew was more relaxed and carefree, you were learning your new job stress free. Thanks to Henry’s recommendation, you were now fully working in electrical. In fact, you were already being left alone to fix some bad wiring that was previously done by a guy who allegedly died in battle. If you were completely honest with yourself, he didn’t seem to have a clue about what he was doing. It was all a mess; everything was badly connected while other pieces were simply missing. You let out a bored moan as you lay back into the corner of the tight space. Sliding down along the wall before sitting on the floor.  

You felt quite lonely on the ship. No one was really chatting with you since you were sleeping in the supreme leader’s quarters. They weren't particularly mean to you, but gossip was spreading quickly among the crew. The only friend you had was Henry and sadly, your schedules were not working in your favor. Kylo was gone for a while now and you still didn't know what you felt about him since your last encounter. 

He's a horrible man. He brought way too much destruction to the galaxy for me to fraternize with him, I just can't. 

As you examine the back of your hands placed on your knees, you remembered your last night with him. The one you have been trying for weeks to forget. His touch, his smell intoxicating you. You knew you wanted all of those again and that alone was terrifying you.  

While being lost in your thoughts, you're toying with the bracelet your sister had made you back home. Smiling to yourself, you can’t help but wonder what she would think of you if she knew you slept with literally the worst person in the galaxy and still wanted more. While rolling the threads in between your fingers, you think back to Kylo and the way he said your name, Viper.. Since your parent’s death no one has ever called you by your real name, not even your sister. They were the ones who gave it to you after a successful mission destroying one of the first order’s bases. Along with your successful mission, your codename had become your identity.  

Oh maker, it’s today..  

-- 

The day was a long one for Kylo. His only desire for weeks was to come back to the finalizer knowing you'd be there. He couldn’t wait to finally get back on his ship. He very much regretted not kissing you goodbye. You've been haunting his dreams with the smell of your hair and soft skin ever since he left. He was still trying to figure out how your connection worked. How he was able to finally see a little more in your head but also feel you the way he did. As much as he wanted not to, he quickly realized that keeping himself away from you was not the right approach. His emotions were controlling him further each day and it scared the shit out of him.  

For now, he was simply excited to see you as he moves inside his quarters. Although, the smile behind his mask quickly vanished as he glanced around the empty space. His assistant had previously confirmed that you would be here and yet you were not. Even if he wasn’t on the finalizer, he kept an eye on you. He had heard about your new job and schedule, and knew you're supposed to be done by now. He calls to double check in the electrical but apparently no one has seen you for hours. His mind draws him back quickly to the boy he saw you talking to. What if she had moved on? Did she use me? Maybe I scared her too much before leaving? What if she had escaped?  

His fears were getting the best of him as he pushed the side of his comm-link angrily, “Find her” ordering, swirling back into the hallway. 

After almost an hour of searching, a soldier comes to him. “We have found no trace of the women, Sir.” 

He sighs, “what about the tie fighters?” 

“We have stopped the departures. We also have the right numbers in inventory. No anomalies have been reported with the ones who did leave earlier today, Sir.” the men stated. 

“This means she's still on board.” Getting angrier thinking of the memory he read out of you before leaving. The way you felt seeing that boy, the desire. “You don’t stop until you find her.” Commanding him as his fingernails were digging into the leather of his gloved palms. 

The trooper nods before turning away quickly to inform the others. Meanwhile, Kylo was trying to calm himself down, but it was useless. He could visualize you kissing the boy like you kissed him. Giving yourself the way, you did with him. He did not know much about you; he didn't know how much he could trust you.  

As he's spiraling, he feels a soft breeze on his skin. Which is odd since he is covered from head to toe with fabric. The goosebumps were going right up the nape of his neck. Without hesitation he starts following the energy that is pulling him. The sensation felt cold and blue the closer he got to it. After a moment, he finally stops in front of a closet door with a hand going to his hip. Unaware of what's on the other side, he unclips his lightsaber before bracing himself in a combat position. He takes a deep breath in, moving his hand to the control panel on the side. The moment it opens, his gaze is automatically drawn to you, sitting on the floor. He slowly drops his arms as he watches you bring your red, puffy eyes to him. The rage that was boiling inside him, was now completely gone. You looked at him in shock, thinking you were going to die for a moment there. Still silent, he pulls his helmet off.  

“You're back..” you say sniffling. 

“What happened?” asking softly. 

Instead of answering, you move your gaze down. Wrapping your arms around your legs and bringing them closer to your body. 

“Did someone do something to you? Are you hurt?” tensing as he questioned. 

You lightly shake your head, “no, it's just me. I remembered a bad day, a sad day.”  

He presses his lips, unsure of what to do before entering the small, confined closet. His body quickly fills the tight space as he walks to you, squatting down to your level before he pushes the hair out of your face. “I can't help you if you don't tell me, hyal.” 

You could see how genuine he was, but you didn't want to talk about it. You had tried your best over the years not to let it affect you, but it was almost impossible on days like this one. 

“My parents..” you couldn't stop the tears from falling down your cheeks, your voice still full of emotions. “They died on this day. I just miss them so much and I feel so alone.” 

He takes a moment looking at you, “I'm sorry for your parents.” Pushing the hair out of your face, “but you're not, you're not alone.”  

You dry your eyes with the back of your sleeve, trying to smile. 

He lets you take a moment to come back to yourself before pressing the side of his comm-link on his wrist. “I found her, you can stop the search. I’ll take it from here.”  

He lets out a sigh looking straight at you. “Are you ready to go?”  

You nod as he helps you get back on your feet. “What did you mean by stop the search?” 

“You're a difficult one to find” he says, giving you a soft smirk. 

-- 

As you enter his quarters, you realize that he didn’t put his helmet back on. Noticing his eyes with better lighting. They looked more tired than usual. He quickly glanced at you before moving towards the bathroom. “I need to take a shower, I'll be back.”  

Being finally alone again, you remain unmoved. Closing your eyes in an attempt to re-center yourself. Your reunion happened as weirdly as his departure. You didn’t want to talk to him about how they died or how he is part of the issue. By fear, you also did not want to mention how much you're missing your sister. The First Order was the reason of your parent's death and you promised yourself that it would never be hers. Although, some of you felt happy that Kylo was back. You just wished that he had found you in better circumstances.  

What was he like before becoming Supreme Leader? Was he always in the First Order? Probably not, otherwise he wouldn’t be as gentle as he is with you, right? 

While you were changing out of your work clothes, you couldn't help but smile softly thinking about him. You liked having him near you. Even though he made you feel a little anxious at times.  

He came out of his shower already fully clothed. Catching him pass in front of the bedroom door, he was moving to the kitchen to pour himself a glass of water from the sink.  

You can't help but notice how imposing and stoic he looks even out of his combat clothes. The muscles of his chest and arms being noticeable through the fabric of his shirt. His hair, still damped from the shower, falls on his face as he turns the faucet off. Maker, am I blushing? 

You sigh, climbing into bed before moving under the covers. As you make yourself comfortable, you see him pass through the door and coming to the edge of the bed to sit with you. 

“How did it go while I was gone?” He asks before taking a sip from his cup. 

“Did you not see me cry my eyes out?” replying sarcastically. 

“I did, but surely you didn’t cry for weeks. Did you?” 

“No, of course not. I worked, how about you?” 

“Good, it was a long one.” looking briefly at you. 

“Can I ask you something?” He doesn’t say a word as he waits for your question. “Are your parents still alive?” 

He tenses up, turning his gaze down to the glass of water in his hand. “My mother.. but I don't know where she is.”  

“I’m sorry to hear it. Is she not?” You didn’t know how to ask. 

“In the First Order? No, no she's not.. ” 

You press your lips, “Kylo? What does, hyal means?” you questioned closing your eyes, not being able to keep them open any longer. 

He raises his eyes to you in surprise. “Why so many questions?” putting his glass of water on the nightstand before joining you under the covers. 

“I just want to know you more..” mumbling, letting your mouth part slightly as you fall asleep. 

He smiles softly, pushing the hair out your face. You were already breathing deeper while he looked at your pillowy lips. The ones he has been craving for weeks. He leans in, pressing them gently with his. Being careful not to disturb you in your sleep. He takes a deep breath in, “I also miss them, every day.” Before closing his eyes as well. 

-- 

The next morning, you wake up to the sound of hot crinkling oil in a pan. As you sit up and rub your eyes, you hear Kylo let out a high muffled scream. You quickly pull away the covers before running to the kitchen, seeing him clenching his hand tightly. 

“Are you okay?” voice panicked. 

“It's okay, I just burned myself. You can go back to sleep.” trying not to sound in pain. 

You walk to him, now fully awake. “Don't be stupid. How could I possibly go back to sleep knowing you're suffering. Can I have a look?” looking straight at him. 

He hesitates, pressing his lips before opening his hand slowly to you. As you look closer to the injury, you examine the serious burn. A vivid red line was drawn across his palm. “Here put it under cold water. It will stop the heat from burning through the other layers of skin.” moving towards the kitchen faucet. “You need to always keep the handle away from the heat when cooking.” He puts his hand under the low pressured water. Slightly moaning as he feels an instant relief.  

He raised an eyebrow as he watched you with a first aid kit. Putting it on the counter before starting the burner again. He stares at you confused, “Are you not going to help me?” 

“You need to stop the burn before putting the bacta on. Otherwise, you'll only heal the top layers.” rolling your eyes at him. 

He doesn't comment on your attitude as he smirks softly. Being kind of surprised at your knowledge of the matter. “And, how do you know all of this?” 

Not responding, you give him a smile as he's watching you do his cooking. Admiring you from a distance. He noticed how nervous you were with him but, the truth is, he was too. You never really talked about what happened the night before he left, and he too wanted to know you more. 

He clears his throat anxiously, “You know. The day I left you were talking to a man.” 

“Henry?” 

“I guess, yes. Have you, seen him again?”  

Looking up to meet his eyes, “He’s only a friend, I told you.” closing the burner, you turn around. Grabbing the first aid kit as he turns off the faucet. Meanwhile, you took the bacta out of the metal box before spraying it on his wound. He grimaced while the bacta was already taking effect. As you his hand with some bandages, he can’t help himself from staring at you. Your hair was still all over the place from the chaotic morning. Strands falling down your face, some sticking up, but he couldn't care less. Suddenly a weird sensation comes to his chest as he pushes one of your hair strands to see your face better. 

You meet his gaze smiling brightly, “Here, all done..”  

He doesn’t waste a second, taking the side of your neck. Holding you still as he leans in closer, kissing you full lips.  

You don’t stop him as he moans sweetly into your mouth. “You have no idea how long I've been wanting to do this..” 

“Tell me more.” 

He sighs softly, “I wanted to see you, smell you, touch you.” moving his hands gently to your middle back. “You're all I could think about.” 

“I also thought about you every-” You didn’t have time to finish your sentence, that he starts kissing you again, caressing your tongue inside with his. 

You laugh, stopping him. “I can’t, I have to work.” Protesting as you try to move away. 

“Work? But I just came back. I can make you miss work if that’s the issue.” You don’t really listen to him as you’re now inside the bedroom, changing into your work clothes. “You seem to forget that I'm the supreme leader. This is my ship, and I can do whatever I want.” 

You roll your eyes, “Yeah, I know..” You watch him come closer as you sit on the edge of the bed to put your boots on. He takes the other one from your hand before throwing it aside. “Hey, stop, I need to go. I'm going to be late.” 

He's not listening as he kneels in front of you spreading your legs. “Stay with me hyal.” 

“You still haven’t told me what it meant..” closing your eyes to his hands roaming your hips and ass. 

You could feel his hardness on the edge of your pussy, “to crave.” answering you, slowly unzipping the front of your uniform. 

Your heart beats faster but you try to stay on track. “What language is that? I never heard it.” 

“Sith”  

You stop him before he unzips it fully, managing to wiggle yourself free. “I really need to go. I can't be late.” 

He watches you grab your boots from the floor, “Have I done something wrong again?” eyes worried. 

As you look at Kylo, you feel heaviness in your chest “What? No..” moving quickly to the living room. “I just like seeing people and having somewhat of a normal life.” glancing at him awkwardly, “and I like the job, okay? I will see you later.”  

Before you could leave, he grabs your arm. “I’m sorry that I cannot let you go, yet.. I also need to follow orders.” saying eyes in pain. 

You simply nod, walking away to the entrance.  Feeling an energy moving through your hair, you turn your head back. Only seeing the side of his face as he goes back to the bedroom.  

-- 

You can hear your stomach calling for food entering the cafeteria. You felt bad lying to Kylo about being late, but you were not ready to sleep with him again. Hearing him speak Sith made uneasy. A reminder that you're just a prisoner on his ship. How many girls did he had this way? He probably lied to you about you being the only one. Surely that can't be true. He is one of the most powerful men in the galaxy, how could you possibly be his first taste of flesh? 

It doesn't matter, because it won't happen again.. 

Taking a tray, you get in line. Today was your favorite; spinach quiche with ham bits. Plus, they always had these little roasted potatoes on the side that you love so much. You had to admit, the finalizer did have some good food. Way better than the sludge you used to eat in battle camps back home. 

As you're waiting your turn, you sense a finger tapping your shoulder. Automatically you feel your body tense, scared to even look back. Turning around, you're being greeted by Henry. “It's been a while.” he says with a broad smile. 

You don't know why, but you feel a little disappointed seeing him. You don’t know if it's because you haven't seen him for a while but he's making you blush a little. Maybe it was the way he looked so effortlessly put together. Whatever the reason, it felt good to see him again. 

“It's you who has been hiding, I'm always near.” you state playfully. 

“Yeah, I've been learning how to pilot on top of my usual job. It does take a lot of my time these days.”  

Well, I'm happy that you're okay, I was starting to get worried.” 

There's a moment of silence before he clears his throat. “Would you like to join us?” Pointing to a round table with two man and a woman also wearing the crew's uniform. 

You nod while taking back your tray from the lunch guy’s hands. For weeks, you have been eating alone and so the invitation was a nice welcome, especially from him. As soon as you sat down, all eyes were on you, along with the tension floating in the air.  

“Everyone, this is Viper. A friend of mine, she's in electrical.” Presenting you to the small group. 

Immediately, the woman steps in. “The supreme leader’s favorite..” 

“Did you say Viper?” One of the two men asks, cutting her off. Looking at Henry through his glasses, eyes wide open. 

“Yes?” He replies raising his eyebrow in curiosity. 

The bearded man leans forward to shake your hand. “It's truly an honor to meet you miss. I'm Jon. I was there, fighting by your side on N12.” 

“I'm not sure I'm following” says the woman, tying her dark hair in a ponytail. 

The man turns to her. “She’s on our side.” He looks around, “she destroyed 2 enemy bases.” 

“Not here Jon” the other man says anxiously, “it's not safe..” 

Henry turns to you quickly, “you never mentioned it before.” 

“Well, we haven't been hanging out much either..” you mocked. 

“Henry, you're making her uncomfortable.” Pulling her hair tighter. 

He looks at her unfazed, “I'm the one making her uncomfortable?” 

“Yes, I was just stating the facts. She is his favorite; otherwise, why would he keep her in his quarters mh?” 

You can sense all eyes coming back on you. There's a part of you that wished she was right, but you knew that he had different motives. “He simply wants to keep his eye on me, and he also doesn't trust the guards.” 

“With reasons.” she says smirking, “I'm Eira by the way. this is Lars.” pointing to the middle-aged man with a full beard and hair tied in a bun sitting next to Jon. “He doesn't talk much but he's really sweet.” 

You simply smile as you're finishing your plate.  

“I'm curious Viper, how is it sharing your space with a Solo?” eyes staring up at you while she brought the fork to her mouth. 

“A what?” you respond confused. 

“Ben, the son of Han and Leia?” Jon replies. 

“What do you mean?” Brow's frowning. 

They all look at each other before she replies, “Kylo Ren is Ben Solo, the son of Han Solo and Leia Organa.” 

Your eyes widen in shock, “How? What? How did he end up here?” Questioning quickly. 

Jon shakes his head slightly, “last time I saw Ben with his parents, was the night before he left with his uncle, Luke.” He takes a sip from his cup, “I served Princess Leia for most of my life before being captured and imprisoned here. I have been away from home 3years now.” 

Your eyes saddened to his words, “that's horrible..” being cut off by a bell. 

The worker's alarm went off before Eira could take her last bite. “We should get going if we don't want to be late” 

-- 

As you put your tray in the bin, Henry stays close by. Waiting for you to be done to walk you to your job. “You don't have to do that; you know that right?" 

He gives you one of his genuine smiles. “I'm sorry I couldn't keep up with you. I am, truly.” He stops in the middle of the now empty hallway with everyone already taking their stations.  

“It's okay, don't worry about it. C’mon, we'll be late.” 

But he grabs your wrist. Looking deeper into your eyes, caressing your hand with the back of his fingers. He doesn't waste his time, leaning forward almost kissing, “Would you come meet me tonight at the control bri..” 

“Are you okay?” 

Henry’s eyes were beginning to look scared. His hands moving towards his throat, trying to remove something that wasn't there, fully choking and fighting for air. As you turn your head, you see a masked Kylo moving around the corner with a hand extended towards Henry. 

“STOP! YOU’RE GOING TO KILL HIM!” Yelling as he walks in your direction.  

“That's the point” saying dry and cold.  

“Please Kylo!” but your pleas were useless as his body stays put. “Please stop, I beg you!” 

He turns his helmet quickly to you, “go on..” 

“What?” 

“What do you propose?”  

You were taken aback. You didn't think about that. “I- I'll do whatever you want.” your heart skipping a beat as you say the words. 

He looks back at Henry, who is slowly turning colors. “This is your lucky day.” Finally releasing him and letting him fall to his knees. “Go!” Kylo stressed before you see Henry get back on his feet clumsily and run away as fast as he can. 

You let out a sigh, “that was unnecessary..” 

He turns to you, his tall and broad frame hovering over you. “I heard your thoughts..” 

“Yes, it's normal to have them” looking up to him. 

“Yeah well, your desir-”  

*”Sir Ren, meeting at 10 with the counc..”* Getting cut off by a transmission. 

“Not now General, move it for tomorrow.” 

*“Sir, I'm afraid-”* 

“I have an important matter on hand.” Starting to get impatient and annoyed. 

*”I would hardly qualify a poor slave girl as impor-”// “General Hux!” 

“As you wish, Sir Ren..” his voice sounding bitter. 

As soon as the transmission ended, Kylo quickly turned all his attention back on you.  

“You, come with me..”  

--

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[buckyarchives]

The Domestic Life of Living with a Runaway Assassin. [chapter two.]

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x soulmate!reader

Summary: you hate many things in life. you hate soulmates. you hate the avengers. you hate guns. you hate loud snorers and complicated relationships.

Bucky Barnes is associated with all of those things, yet you can't find yourself hating him

w.c: 4.6k

Author note: not proud of this chapter, lightly edited and i’m simply to lazy to go over again and again

Masterlist | playlist

“Dude, I understand you’re going through a lot right now but can we tone down the grimacing a little?” 

It's been one month since the field trip to the Smithsonian, it was hard to say exactly when it clicked in Bucky’s head he had a pseudo-permanent place here. Especially with the recent development of the free bedroom since your roommate moved out. His appearances before were minimal, only ever breaking into your apartment late at night when the weather was too shitty and he decided he wanted a warm meal or cereal. Bucky would usually leave before you left for work and left almost no trace of him even being there.

For the most part, you stayed at arm's length. Made it very clear that just because you two were destined to be by the universe, didn’t mean you had to act like it. Bucky looked like a kicked puppy when you explained that to him, but he kept his feelings under wraps. If he even had any. 

You weren’t sure if he trusted you yet, considering his past. But you can assume ever since he finally slept on your couch rather than the hardwood floor next to it – he's started to trust you. And by trust, you mean beginning to stay at your house for more things than just 3 hours of sleep or cornflakes. If bucky wasn’t wanted by both Nazis and Captain America you'd be asking him to pay rent by now.

Bucky also had a horrible staring problem.

“I’m not grimacing,” he mumbled.

“You literally look like the grinch right now.”

His eyebrows furrowed, “who?”

“Oh my god.” you dragged out, rising from your seat and heading towards the kitchen. 6:31 pm glowed green on your stove. “Are you hungry?”

Bucky hums to himself, his metal hand grazing above the soft fur of your cat's head. “I’m always hungry.”

“Why do I even ask? Penne or rigatoni?” you shuffled through your unhealthy amount of pasta stored away. 

“I don’t care.” you heard Bucky’s footsteps trail into the kitchen, you noticed pretty early on that he chose when he wanted his presence to be known. Bucky called you perceptive for figuring that out. you thought it was pretty obvious. 

You already had pasta sauce leftovers from a few nights ago, good enough.

Something else you had noticed over the few weeks, being in Bucky's presence made you feel weirdly at ease. A part of you hope that it wasn’t something destined to be pulled towards each other that the universe made up, you weren’t mentally prepared to admit the universe was right. For all you know, Bucky is a pity case and you're just trying to keep him alive. 

It also didn’t help the fact you had to keep reminding yourself of this all the time.

But silence followed Bucky like it was made for him, he communicated with short (and usually quite rude) sentences or just his various facial expressions. Which were mostly confused and scared. Every once in and while he’d smile, but it was barely there and half the time Bucky would have already bit it back or turned the other way so you wouldn’t notice.

Sometimes you forgot you were harboring a runaway assassin, your wanted soulmate. Like this, faint sounds of pots clinking and the smell of simple Marianna cooking. Bucky sitting a few feet behind you, bouncing his leg and petting Alpine. Speaking of…

“Hey! Alpines not allowed on the table!” You grabbed the scruff of the Snow White cat's fur and tossed him on the floor, he hissed at you the entire way. Bucky watched with judging eyes.

“You're just jealous.” Bucky mumbled under his breath, monotone as ever.

“Pardon?” You were sure if you tried it, the spoon in your hand would break upon hitting his forearm, but it was still held heavy and ready to strike. “What did you say?”

“He likes me more.” 

You blinked once, twice at him. Giving him a moment to take back his words. “Watch your next words.” You grumbled and turned back to your sauce, stirring so it wouldn’t burn.

From behind you, Bucky grabbed the cat by the scruff again and set him in his lap. A smile danced on his face when the cat nuzzled into the metal palm. Until you noticed him out of the corner of your eye, mid-straining the pasta.

“Okay, maybe he does like you more.” You painfully admitted through gritted teeth, “stray to stray, I guess.”

Bucky looks up, confused. 

You sighed, “he used to linger outside the apartment complex, but anytime anyone tried to pet him he’d hiss and attack. I finally womaned up because his fur was getting horribly matted and it was getting cold out. He's domesticated a little, but still pretty angry.”

Bucky listened to you intently, still gently brushing the cat's back. He only purred and leaned in closer to the super soldier. If you were going to be honest — the sight pulled at your heartstrings

After making a plate, Bucky finally put down Alpine and set him gently on the floor, more gentle than your way of doing it. You checked your email as you ate, silence enveloped the room beside the sound of silverware clinking. Your cat still lingered around the table, brushing his tail around your ankle. For a moment you let yourself wonder if Bucky would actually —

“More.” 

Your head shot up. The image before you was utterly laughable. Small amounts of red sauce at the corner of his cheek, ruffled hair from his shower earlier, and both hands grasping around his silverware. And a wiped-clean plate.

“What—“ your eyes furrowed. “You, what the fuck.”

Bucky just bored his stupidly gorgeous blue eyes back at you.

“It’s only been five minutes! I gave you enough to feed two of me?” You shouted. “Are you a fucking vacuum?”

“Please.” Bucky wiped the Mariana from his lip.

You stopped, and an overdramatic smile grew on your face. “That’s the first polite thing you have said to me like. Ever.”

Bucky just rolled his eyes and nudged his plate toward you. 

“Go make your own plate. I obviously have no grasp of how much you can inhale.” You snarled, Bucky grabbed the plate and got up. He towered over you, Bucky made himself look as small as he could most of the time that you’d forget how big he actually is. Your eyes shamefully followed his body as he walked towards the stove. 

“Oh, and actually chew this time, sergeant.”

You began eating again, making a mental note to up the amount you buy at the store next time

-

Bucky’s heavy boots trudged through the house. He had learned soon enough you were a heavy sleeper and no matter how much he tried to avoid the creaky wooden panels, it just wasn't worth it. The familiar bright light on the living room television flashed, the light creeping its way into the hallway. You were sat in the corner of the couch, curled up so tight, like you were trying to make yourself disappear. Bucky made himself known but your head didn’t snap in his direction like usual. 

He coughed, “why are you still up?”

No response, your eyes stayed trained on the television. Bucky craned his next to see another one of your reality shows. If Bucky remembered correctly, this was the one where a group of people try to survive on an island.

A sigh escaped Bucky's lips as he sat down his duffle bag with a thud, “are you okay?” he asks, sitting down on the couch, keeping a good foot and a half distance from you.

“No.” is all you mutter out.

“Do you wanna talk?”

You don't respond again. 

“Well, I’m heading out. Thanks for the bed and food.” Bucky says. Awkwardness poured out between you two, bucky felt out of place right now.

You let out an exhausted sigh, “it's snowing.”

Bucky hummed in response, his eyes glancing toward the window. Pitch black dark beside the New York street lamps giving the world a yellow-orangish glow. Bucky noticed the snowflakes falling gently onto the fire escape railing. “Yeah, I know.”

“Gosh,” you groaned. “I feel guilty knowing you’re out there freezing your ass off and scavenging for food, just out there hiding in general.”

“It's not that big of a d-”

You interject, and your voice sounds exhausted. “Stay. please, Bucky. Just stay.” your gaze leaves the television and meets his, and suddenly Bucky’s stomach feels funny. 

“If I stay too long, I’m scared someone will connect us and I don't want you to be dragged into my mess.” Bucky sighs.

Bucky had already stayed here for a few too many nights, you had offered him the empty room across from your own. It took some convincing from you, but he stayed. Bucky didn’t sleep, didn’t even touch the bed, he had rustled it up to make it look like he slept.

Maybe he was just scared of getting too attached. 

You hum. “I’m sure I’m a lot safer with the world's most feared assassin in my house, rather than out prancing around the city.”

“I don't prance.” Bucky scoffs, and he notices the way your lip quirks up slightly as you turn back toward your show.

A silence falls upon the two of you, Bucky's shoulders feel lighter at this moment, like your presence just takes the burden of the world off him. Bucky’s also scared that might mean you're taking some of it on your shoulders too. 

His eye flicker back to the large television, fully illuminating the living room and casting a shadow over your feature. Mabe Bucky needed to stop his habit of staring at you, when will you notice that he does it because it feels impossible to tear his eyes away from you? That it’s not just some lasting effect from the 70 years of torture. Snap out of it, Barnes. Bucky hears the small voice in his head yell, he looked back at the tv. Survivor is playing again, you only watch this when you’re upset.

“Why do you even watch this show?” Bucky asked.

You snicker silently, Bucky can’t hold back the amused smile on his face. “It's horrible, really.” god, he can hear the smile on your face.

“Tell me.” Bucky breathes out.

“Besides, it is just entertaining–” you say, laughing. “watching these people suffer through all this makes me feel better about myself, like what I’m going through isn't that bad– wow, I’m horrible.”

Honestly, the response took Bucky off guard. He finds it hard to grasp a response. 

“You are an interesting person.” Bucky laughs. Settling on that.

“Good, or bad?”

“Good.” Bucky says firmly. You nod your head. “I mean you are housing a criminal of the state.”

You laugh, a genuine laugh. “As long as you keep me safe. Mi casa es su casa.”

Bucky might have scooted his way closer to your side of the couch, closer to you. “Yeah, I’ll keep you safe.” he smiles to himself, because at least he can do that. His arm falls to the back of the couch and above your head, you'd be disappointed to know Bucky wasn't really paying attention to the show. 

Your eyes began to droop, leaning into Bucky's touch. He was warm. Bucky tensed when your head fell onto his chest, but after it was the easiest thing to melt into you. Like it was second nature, puzzle pieces finding each other. Bucky doesn't remember the last time he was touched like this, a time when being touched wasn't bad and painful. Even if he remembers a time before that, with girls or Steve, Bucky sure doesn't remember it feeling this good. 

Bucky wonders if you could hear his heartbeat too. Feel how fast it beats for you, would you get scared and push him away? Bucky decided he would rather stay quiet than find out. 

“I bet you could survive this show so easily.” you sound delirious, barely awake as you fall heavier into his chest. Bucky hums and you feel it, it's quite nice. 

“Probably, how much is this prize money?” he asks, knowing too well you are too tired to answer that. 

You snort, “thinking about joining? That'll blow your cover, sergeant.”

It was so weird when you called him that. It felt so right and it made Bucky feel normal. He wished you'd call him that more, Bucky always feels a nostalgic and warm feeling swell in his chest that makes him feel normal. Like everything he's faced all those years simply disappeared and he's been in this house with you all alone. Maybe that's how it was meant to be.

“It would be one hell of a reveal though.” he mutters, but you don't respond. 

Bucky’s eyes fall down to your face, your limp against his chest and eyes closed, mouth parted slightly, and breathing softly. It would be impossible to bite back the smile that grew on his face, you look so peaceful. Bucky knows you deserve it. And he knows he’ll stay awake all night to make sure you can keep it.

And he… almost did that. Bucky made it a few more hours of keeping watch on your sleeping form, you moved your way fulling into his lap and Bucky wrapped a heavy blanket over you to shield you from the cold New York weather. Bucky got himself used to the tv remote, very high tech – too high tech.

 Confusing remote yet still no flying cars, what a disappointment the future was. Bucky watched a show called Modern Family for a while, it didn't take long for his eyes to get heavy as well.

And then it was morning, and the sun was showing through your curtains and it warmed his exposed skin. You were gone and a fleeting feeling of panic shot through him. But then the sound of banging and many familiar curse words that belonged to his one and only. 

Bucky blinked the tiredness out of him, running his hand through his outgrown hair, and craning his neck to see into the kitchen. The large blue blanket he had draped over you last night hung from your shoulder, you were hitting and glaring at your coffee pot like it had personally offended you. Which it literally has.

“You stupid fucking machine, I paid 130$ for you, motherfucker. Work, I swear to god I will–”

“Stop yelling at the machine.”

You turned to him with the devil in your eyes. “Says the one who was whisper-yelling at the remote to ‘go back’ last night.”

“You heard that?” Bucky asks shyly. You just hummed and nodded, giving up on banging on the Keurig and plopping down next to him. “No coffee? Are you going to turn into a monster if you don't get caffeine in the next hour?”

With a deadpan face and droopy eyes, “yes.”

Then, like a fucking lightning bolt withdrawing from caffeine. You shot up abruptly and rushed into your room with heavy footsteps, followed by the loud sound of your hangers clicking together. “Grab your cap and glove that you’re so convinced makes you look invisible. We’re going to get coffee.”

Bucky didn’t really feel like arguing with a monster right now, so he lazily stretched his limbs and shook out the lingering sleepiness from his body. Going to his designated corner and grabbing his many layers and hat. 

Bucky still kept his head down like usual, you weren't very good at doing that. Even after Bucky’s constant worrying. He assumed you took his word the night before a little too seriously. Yet, you guided him to the farthest corner of the shop, “what do you want?”

“Coffee.” Bucky stated plainly.

“What kind of coffee?”

Bucky’s eyebrows furrowed, “there are different types of coffee?”

You inhaled an annoyed breath, nodding to yourself. “Nevermind, I got it.” you sighed, trudging off to the counter and greeting the woman with a bright smile. Ordering your usual and getting Bucky a tall, plain black. Decaf because you weren't dealing with a jittery supersoldier. the barista asked for a name, and your and Bucky’s almost left your lips as before you realized who he was. Glancing back over to Bucky, his hair had grown out long and so had his beard. 

You were beyond amused with yourself when you gave him a new name and walked back to your seat.

Bucky had the same aura as a small child. Except with broad shoulders, a permanent grimace and a few knives shoved up his pants. His gloved fingers tapped on the table, eyes hitting every inch of the building. Tap, tap, tap. What made it worse was the excessive bouncing of his knee that vibrated the already old, wobbly wooden table. You glared holes in his head, frowning but he gave you no mind. 

Grasping around a peoples magazine, and simply throwing it at him. “Read that, the tapping and bouncing are getting annoying.” Bucky looked down at it, a little disappointed at first. But soon started flipping through it, the tapping stopped. Thank god.

For a moment, you leaned your head back, closing your eyes and just letting a heavy breath out. That you were somewhere else, anywhere doing anything. Just for a moment. But the sound of people speaking, the loud and arguably annoying city life of cars and horns, the sounds of espresso machines and mugs clinking. No escaping this. Your eyelids flutter open, back to reality, and Bucky is looking at the magazine as if it called his mother a bitch. Eyebrows furrowed and dark, narrowed eyes. 

“What is it?” you scoot over to his side of the booth, lining your thighs with his. Bucky tenses at the touch, you don't notice. In the magazine is a picture of Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanoff, and Clint Barton at a charity event. Next to the pictures were long articles of their bullshit excuses for whatever damage they caused to some city miles away, or even home.

“I don’t recognize him.” Bucky mutters under his breath, he sounds so sad. 

“It's probably all the photoshop.” you say, in an attempt to make him laugh. But as the words left your lips you realize Bucky probably has zero idea what photoshop is, and seals that thought after he shot a confused look up at you. “Doesn’t matter, I promise it will come back to you.”

Bucky looks up at you, an unrecognizable emotion playing out on his face, lips parted slightly as if he was about to speak. Too scared to let anything out he doesn't fully recognize, you're confusing and warm and gentle with him and it makes his brain short circuit. Just your thighs and shoulder touching him makes his body burn, and the feeling of you so close taunts him, is Bucky that touched starved? All he knows his violence at the end of anothers hand, is it so bad to want more –

“L’Oreal! Y/N!” The loud and shrill voice of the barista echoed through the cafe, and a wild amused smile grew on your face as you shot up to get the coffee.

Your warmth left Bucky’s body, cold now.

-

Chop, chop, chop…

Bucky stood hunched over your counter, a small fruit knife with little lemons painted on the blade. Bucky thought it was beyond weird but it worked. Chopping away at strawberries, for you, because he doesn't really understand how to show gratitude towards you any other way. The super soldier wasn't very good with words, and he has no money to pay you for the warm food and roof over his head. Strawberries will due.

Chop, chop, chop

Alpine sat on the counter next to the cutting board, he definitely wasn’t supposed to. But you were in the shower and well, you didn't have to know. Bucky scratched the place between his ears, the metal again the soft, snow-white fur was weird. 

Chop, chop, chop

Then, Bucky's worst fear came true (other than living in New Jersey). A loud, shrill, and blood-curdling scream from you. Bucky almost sliced his own hand when he flinched, shooting up to go to you. HYDRA? SHIELD? CIA? Fuck, fuck, fuck. He was careful, no one should know. Bucky rounded a corner, almost taking the trim out with his shoulder. His metal hand grasped around the handle of your door, not taking any time to knock before throwing it open and off the hinges. Expecting to see blood, men in tac suits, guns… not you wrapped in a towel, dripping water as you stood on the toilet seat.

“Bucky…” you whispered, eyes wide with fear, gaze not leaving the shower. Until they set on him, when you jumped down (bucky finches– scared you'd slip) and scurried behind his back. Balling his shirt in your fist as you hid behind him, dampening the white fabric. “It's still in there.”

Bucky sighed, just glad to see you weren't dead. “What? What is?”

You just let out a high-pitched and arguably pathetic whine, pointing at the tub, eyebrows knitted together tight. Bucky tried to pay no mind to the fact you were pretty much naked, hair stuck to your neck and face. Slowly, craning his neck to see a small, stink bug crawling at the bottom. 

“Really? A stink bug?” Bucky asked.

“Get it!”

Bucky leaned down and grabbed the bug between his metal thumb and index, crushing it. Flipping up the toilet seat and flushing away the stinky bug, taking a piece of paper and wiping the excess dead bug off his finger. A righteous death, as much as it can be.

Turning around, Bucky fought back a blush. The curve of your neck, and collarbone. Your exposed thighs taunt him. He needs to snap the fuck out of it, if anything you two are just roommates. No amount of universe bullshit would change your mind. But oh, oh god. You turned slightly and he caught a glimpse of the words written on your body, his words. Bucky almost fainted.

“Thank you. You have been crowned official bug killer.” you teased, still just standing there.

His ears tinted pink and probably stuttered, “uh-huh, go- go get dressed.”

“Sir, yes sir.” You made a stupid military salute, turning back to the door. “Also, you’re fixing that.”

Bucky fidgeted with his hand, trying to avoid his eye from your chest. “Yeah, yeah, I will. Don’t worry.”

You smiled big, took a few steps towards Bucky, and pecked his cheek. It happened so fast, Bucky didn't process it until you had scurried away and into your room, the door shutting behind you. Bucky's hand ghosted the spot where your lips lay, utterly stunned.

Bucky needed to sit down.

-

Your steps echoed through the apartment hallway, with the feeling of hundreds of pounds on your shoulders. Your legs were wobbly and weak after a long 10-hour shift. You'd been nursing a headache for the past few hours and despite working in a hospital, you hadn't had time to get some ibuprofen. The key to your apartment jangle in the lock and you let out a sigh as the door opens. Alpine takes no time to greet you at the door, the apartment is dark and quiet and if it wasn't for the boots by the door and empty mugs or coffee on the kitchen table, you'd say it was empty. 

Alpine jumps onto the table in front of you, you swat him away quickly and scratch at her head. “Is Bucky home? Hm, where is he?” you coo at the cat. Your eyebrows knot as he jumps off the counter and trots away from the kitchen and towards your bedroom. 

The door to your bedroom that's usually closed is now cracked open and Alpine nudges his way into the room, cracking the door open more. On the opposite side of the bed, in the far corner is a pile of blankets and a pillow. The comforter raised up and down quickly, faintly you could hear the sound of Bucky's grunts and gasps.

Slowly, not to startle the seemingly always ready-to-fight assassin, you walk towards him and pull at the comforter. “Bucky?”

Bucky’s chest heaved up and down, sweat dripped down his face and made his hair stick to his face and neck. His eyes slowly look up at you and all you could see was panic and terror in his eyes, his lips stained red with blood and bruises. 

Crouching down to him and reaching out, hoping he’ll let you. 

“Hey,” you whisper quietly, gently so as not to startle him. Bucky’s eyes avoid yours and he's still gasping for breath like he's being choked and suffocated.

You crane your neck to meet his eyes, tears brim but they don’t fall and you bring your hand up to his face slowly. Giving time for him to swat your hand away before you caress his cheek with your thumb. “Breathe, buck. Please.”

He opens his mouth to speak, a whined croak comes out. “I can’t, — breathe. I’m so-” he chokes out a mess of words.

“Hey, hey, no. it's okay.” you shush him and he brings his palm up to your shoulder and forearm. “What do you need? Show me?”

Bucky looks at you for a faltering moment and the sheer emotions on his face stun you, he looks so broken and vulnerable in front of you. He hesitates for a moment, but you notice the way he's looking at you and the subtle tug on your arm. 

You fall into his arms, pushing the pillow barricade he's made around himself. A sigh escapes his lips at your warmth and you've realized your headache has seemed to fade and a sense of comfort is found in Bucky's arms.

A few minutes pass of your head laid comfortably on Bucky's shoulder, both your arms tangled around his. Bucky's chest slowed to a normal, slow pace and he was breathing normally. Bucky groans as you pull away from his chest. His grasp is still tight around you but you're just far enough away to see his face. 

You notice the dried blood and splits on his lips, you scoff and bring a thumb up to wipe away the blood. “And you always lecture me about biting my lip,” you said, almost teasing.

“M’ sorry.” he blinks. “I didn't realize I was even doing that, I just got so overwhelmed and everything just happened.”

You hum, as you brush his hair back and behind his ears, his skin is still damp and sticky. “It's okay,” you speak, rubbing at his arm. You look down and take notice of the blankets around you once again. “Is this what you do?”

Bucky's head perks up towards you, “what?”

“Make pillow forts when you get overwhelmed.”

Bucky looks down, but you notice his smile lines grow slightly and see the way his lip quirks up. “It's so childish, I know.”

You shake your head, a similar smile creeping up on you as well. Bucky continues, “As a kid, Steve and I, we used to build forts out of anything we could find when Steve used to sleep over. It's a comforting feeling, helps me calm down.”

You nod and bring your hand to meet his, feeling the rough skin under yours as your hand moves against his. You tug slightly as you slowly bring yourself to your feet, Bucky wishes to pull you back into him and never let go. 

“Come on, now,” you say. “You’re all gross and sweaty, I gotta wash my blankets now and you have to take a shower.”

Bucky’s face softened and he realizes, despite the current circumstances, he’d be okay with feeling like this forever. As long as you were there.

tag list; @i-l-y-3000 @ivywasmaroon @waywardcrow @alana4610 @ozwriterchick @slytherinambitious @wintermischief @tarotwitchy-main @silelda @zizzlekwum @iv3t

[kitsoa]

Since becoming a partial/full-time mute with my diagnosis, I keep thinking maybe I'll gain better habits about interjecting literally anything that comes to my mind during casual conversation. But nahhhh I'm pretty sure it's making me worse. I can feel myself vibrate with tangible thoughts as my siblings are musing about shit. I'll type it in my speech reading app but it takes too long. And then I have to type preemptively knowing I'm gonna lose the context of my comment. Positively maddening.

It's hard for me to express my support or feel like an attentive and positive friend. I've already had to clarify to a friend of mine that I'm not harboring any hostile feelings. I'm pretty good at communicating that usually. My ASL lessons have paused a little as I prioritize just isolating myself instead of the temptation of just being with people. I have to mentally prepare before social situations cause I have to condition myself to be cognizant of my choices. It's not good to isolate, but like, it's probably where I am most comfortable right now.

My recovery timeframe has extended significantly since my recent check up. I hit the 2 month mark on Monday and I will have a follow up with the same prescription of tasks in another 2 months. If surgery is brought up, I have zero clue how I'm going to begin the next teaching year under the restrictions of surgery recovery which is remarkably more unforgiving than what I'm doing now. I'm only grateful that I'm hitting the summer break soon. I hate that I'm not working, but I'm actually opening up painting commissions to help my situation out. My greatest worry is that this won't be enough.

Some pros right now is that I'm losing weight with all this rest and strict diet, though it's occurred to me I've got some nutrients deficiencies since I was exhausted shopping at a super market with my mom. Haa. The free time away from work, though ending very soon, has been the biggest weight off my shoulders and it has me rethinking how I commit myself to things.

Emotionally I've been struggling with the lack of singing. I was told not to listen to music that much to help with this but I can't really follow that. I just want to sing. And sing loud. And sing joyfully. And sing with my friends and strangers alike. It makes me so happy to just use my voice frequently and casually. I visited the church I work at for the first time in many weeks and it was pleasant to see people and they missed me, but sitting in the congregation with the damn hymnal unable to sing just rubbed salt in the wounds. I don't think I'll be going again at least for a few weeks.

This is probably where I'm most honest about this journey as I have so many faces to upkeep on Facebook. I can't imagine telling all my acquaintances the bad news that this effort is not paying off as much. What started as a silly musing about being a little adhd chatterbox turned into an entire update haha. I got this...

[claypigeonpottery]

Heyyyyy~ I'm just... So in love with all the work you do, they're all so precious and beautiful I'm in tears. Thank you so for what you do, can't wait to buy something you made soon :D

If it's okei, can you please tell the story of how you got into this and how did you progress from being babie artist to now growing artist and how long you've been doing this for? What's your top 3 fav works you've done? Did you eat good food today, if not please dooo. Thenks

thank you! that's very sweet x3 I'm excited to get more stuff fired and up on Etsy, hopefully before the end of June

.

choose three favourites of my work? oh, that is a difficult question.

one thing I really didn't like about my art when I was younger was that it was all very static. it was people sitting or standing, it was still life paintings. one of the things I'm really proud of in my work now is the sense of capturing a moment instead of someone posing, and/or giving a sense of movement

these two are just the opposite of static and I love them for that

and then there's this mug. the design is great, the details are great and I had so much fun carving it. it was honestly just delightful and I wish I'd kept it. I don't say that very often.

all sold

.

I'm putting the rest of this under a cut because I'm going to ramble

I started drawing because I was making silly comics about me and my friends in grade school and through high school (I assigned them all fursonas because I was a really cool 15 year old lol)

I got a little more serious about art in high school, but I never thought it'd be something I'd make money at.

when I was... in my early twenties? maybe 19 still? ah, memory issues, I went through a nine month art program, the 'Urban Canvas' project run by SCYAP (saskatoon community youth arts programming). the program is meant to support young artists, especially those with mental health or addiction issues. and it meant I got paid to draw and paint and create weird shit for 40 hours a week, for nine months. and then some (seven? eight?) years later I got to go through the program again which... honestly I'm so grateful I got to do that. (and SCYAP still supports me, they give me a table at their craft show every year and helped me with my first solo gallery show)

these are some of the pieces I made during my time at SCYAP:

and two very rare pictures of me, posing with two of my master studies. the left from when I was 20ish, and the right when I was... 27ish? (man I'm still proud of that Gentileschi copy)

.

it was after SCYAP when I started thinking that I could actually make money as an artist. so I painted more than a dozen murals, drew a 20-some page full colour comic, painted pet portraits, and sold my own paintings. commissions were more reliable than selling my own work for a long time lol

as for how I got into pottery, my mental health uh... haha. it took a nosedive about six years ago and during some of the worst of it, I was severely agoraphobic. my mom, who has always supported my art, offered to take me to pottery classes with her, in an attempt to get me leaving the house at least once a week. it did help (along with a lot of other things) and once I started exploring the surface decoration side of pottery, things really clicked for me

.

tangent: one of the things that really drove me to progress as an artist was having something driving my work. whether it was preparing for a gallery show or making a bunch of holiday cards or making piles of fan art because I was obsessed. every time I made something, anything, I improved. so when I had a goal that made me create more, I improved faster.

my unsolicited advice: make that weird fan art. it's good for your art. (I was really into tf2 lol)

.

I've tried tons of different mediums and I think it was a great way to help my style evolve.

when you're making art with a new medium, it might take awhile before you're making your own personal work. I, at least, find that I usually have to do some studies of other peoples' art and just try some basic creations before I do anything more personal. but once I'm ready to do MY stuff, I have a new repertoire to pull from. I wouldn't be the potter I am if I didn't have the experiences I got from other mediums

like acrylics (I did a lot of self portraits >.>)

paper flower making

watercolour

collage

cake decorating

(also oil paints, pastels, 3D wire art, crochet, linocut, stone carving, sewing, set painting and quilting. also my spouse and I like to make crafts together, like cutting-construction-paper, gluing-pompoms-and-googly-eyes crafts, because it's just fun to make stuff together)

I'm sure pottery isn't the last medium I'm gonna try. I'll probably get obsessed with carving tiny wooden figurines or making wax sculptures at some point. who knows!

.

and now I'm in my mid-thirties, making art pretty much every day. I've been doing this since I was a teenager, so almost twenty years now.

I never imagined I'd be satisfied with my own art, that I could look at most of my pieces and not see how I could have done it better, but hey, here I am.

.

wow that was rambly. the ADHD really comes out when I'm writing lol. and I did eat real food today! before having some freezies

thanks so much for your ask, hopefully I satisfied your curiosity

[yarrystyleeza]

Ramadan Kareem to you all, that's gonna be my second Ramadan active here on tumblr, however I want to say couple stuff regarding this.

I may not be as active as usual, I have to focus more on my relationship with God, try to fix some inner moral compass issues that I think should be fixed, and this holy month is the best way for a start. <3

(Also take care of uni and my mental health bc I've been scattered everywhere lately hehe, no seriously I need to focus on uni more since it's my senior year and oral exams will definitely be on the tail of Eid. 😭😭😭)

But I will be active, I will work on requests and do other stuff. Not as active, but I'll be here. <3

There will be less of everything, definitely, I'll be focusing on prayers and reading the holy Quran, preparing meals, spending time with my family, and fasting, which is the main protagonist of the month—fasting from everything else that is not related to Allah and serving Him, as much as possible, God help me.

But I'll be blogging the usual stuff, the sweet cute not smutty stuff because yeah I can't do that on this holy month, that's absolute audacity 😂😂😂 which hopefully would help me lessen my exposure to this material in general—unless needed bc I'm a single ass and I have fantasies 😂😭😭 (let's say this is more of a reminder for me than just news for you that I hope I don't break by the end of the month or during it)

I REPEAT,

I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE I SWEAR!!!

So, once again, Ramadan Kareem to all of you my friends, God bless you all, I love you! <3

[journalofimprobablethings]

Somewhere Else Coffee Shop AU snippets, part 3 (aka I'm still actively writing this and keep finishing bits I want to share):

--

It's been just over two months since Jon came in. Your heart still clenches when you see a customer come in with long salt and pepper hair or a jean jacket, but otherwise, you've nearly managed to stop thinking about them at all. Even if you hadn't, you would have had very little brain to think about them today. It's the lunch rush, and the weather outside is abysmal, a stinging rain that is whipped about by the wind so it patters hard against the windows. The manager has compensated by cranking the heating, with the result that it is absolutely sweltering inside. Everyone in line is impatient and wet and grumpy, and you in turn are sweating through your jumper, focusing all your mental energy on getting the orders in right and not snapping at the more entitled customers who think if they berate you the register will somehow work faster.

You are focused enough that you're not paying attention to the line beyond the person in front of you, so this time it's your turn to start in surprise and delight when you look up to the next person and discover it's Jon.

Their hair is up in a bun this time, a little damp and frizzy from the rain, and a couple strands coming loose on either side of their face. They're wearing the same jacket, this time over a T-shirt for a band or maybe a podcast—something you don't recognize. 

You can't help smiling when you see them.

"Oh, hello!"

They don't startle like last time—they don't even seem surprised to see you at the register again. They smile a little, and their smile still has that sadness to it, but it's different now. Maybe a little resigned, or rueful.

"Hello," they say softly.

"Earl grey tea, wasn't it? With milk and honey?" 

They glance up at you in surprise. "Oh, um, yes, that's–you remembered?"

You can feel the heat rising in your cheeks—it's only now you realize it might be a bit strange that you remembered their order after only one interaction.

"Well, yeah. I-I've got a good memory for—for orders. And–um—and that."

This is not fully a lie; you are fairly good at remembering what people like. But it usually takes you more than one time to get it right. 

From the moment you saw them, there was very little danger of you forgetting Jon.

When you make Jon's drink, you hesitate for a moment before adding milk and honey the same as before. They seemed to like it last time, and there is something satisfying about preparing the cup to their liking, rather than just handing it to them with the bag still in it.

They take the cup from you with both hands and that same soft smile. It feels like an achievement, somehow, getting that smile from them, and it fills you with a sort of fizzy warmth.

They open their mouth to thank you, and then they stop, staring at their name where you've written it on the side of the cup. You realize you hadn't asked them for their name, this time, and you wonder if maybe they find it strange that you remembered their name as well as their order. Or maybe you spelled it wrong—you hadn't even thought to ask.

"Did I get it wrong? I know most people spell it with the 'h', but for some reason I thought—"

"No, no," they say. "You got it right. Most—most people don't."

"Oh, good." 

Before you can say anything else, they say, "Well, um, thank you," and nod awkwardly before making a beeline for the door.

--

Martin,

I went back.

I'm sure you're very surprised.

I tried to stay away, I really did. For weeks I avoided that part of town completely (easy enough, really, as it's mostly overpriced coffee shops and oddly specific boutiques). I did my best to keep myself busy.

But I couldn't stop thinking about the way you made my tea.

I know it probably doesn't mean anything. I know it's foolish to hope. But you looked as startled as I was at what you had done, and I couldn't help wondering if maybe, if I just went back…

Of course, it wasn't that simple. There wasn't a magic moment where you looked me in the eye and suddenly everything came back.

But you remembered me.

Not fully, not in the way I'd hoped, but—you remembered I'd been there before. You remembered my order.

You remembered my name.

Hope is such a dangerous thing, Martin. Despair feels safer, because if you have already given up then you know you can never be disappointed. With hope, there is always something left to lose. With hope, there also always comes fear.

I've told myself not to expect anything, not to hope for too much, because I'm so afraid of what will happen if that hope proves false.

But I can't help it. You remembered my name, and I—

I can't help but hope.

I love you. Thank you for the tea.

Jon

--

Part 1 | Part 2