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princess-kaulise · 2 years

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Hello, @lilcuppacoffee, I’m your Secret Santa for @codesecretsanta! I did my best to write something more angsty for you! I hope you like it, and merry christmas!!!

Word Count: 1715

AO3

She was really tired of waking up this way.

Aelita turns her head, blinking her eyes into focus on the clock at the edge of her desk, seeing the red 1:25 AM blinking back at her. It was too much to ask to sleep through the night, wasn’t it…? She wants to give herself some slack; it hasn't been that long since… well, since her father gave his life to end XANA.

She’s still sick of waking up with a scream on her lips. Begging to find another way to win without having to sacrifice the last of her family. Being told that there’s no time, there’s no way forward. That this is all that can be done. (Oh, she knows her friends are her family. But it’s not the same, losing the last bit that proved that she existed on earth before.)

Aelita kicks her legs over the edge of the bed, and reaches for her clothes, intending to get dressed. Maybe it’s a split second decision, but she doesn’t want to be here right now. She needs fresh air to cool her head. Aelita tosses on her dress from the day before and grabs her phone and a flashlight. Those would probably be useful for a night time walk.

She peeks her head out of her door, looking left and right down the hall for any sign of Jim patrolling the halls, before slipping out, boots in hand.

The first order of business was to get off campus. The rules would bite her if she tried, and she doesn’t want to deal with that. Not right now. She doesn’t want detention on top of everything else.

So as she slowly closes the door to the dorms, and slips her boots on, she makes the executive decision to head into the woods. She had her phone, she had a flashlight, and she knew the area surrounding the school plenty well. The layout of the woods in particular had been seared into her mind by months and months of running through it every time something went wrong.

It had been something of a survival mechanism. One that wasn’t needed anymore.

She bolts across the courtyard onto the path leading down into the woods. There’s no plan to stay on the path, once she passes the tree line though. She’ll just wander, see where her feet lead her.

The air nips at her skin. Moonlight filters through the trees and she finds herself walking a path that’s too familiar. If the forest in general was familiar, then this stretch in particular was never going to leave her memory.

Yet she skips over the manhole cover and keeps walking. It’s not the factory she wants to go to.

It’s when she looks up and sees that her flashlight landed on a thick metal gate ahead of her, and she really processes where her wandering feet have brought her. To her left, somehow still secured after all this time was the sign announcing the hermitage in all its run down, abandoned glory. Every part of Aelita screams that going in would be opening up wounds that were still very much in the process of healing, that she should turn back and go back to her room.

Maybe she’s a little scared of what she will find if she goes in, and Aelita sweeps the light across the building, as if looking for signs she wasn’t alone. Nothing showed itself. And so she pushes open the gate. Maybe it won’t hurt. Maybe she’ll be able to find something that eases the loss of her father here.

It’s a long shot, maybe, but tonight wasn’t a good night anyway. She was already feeling a little reckless.

She lets herself through the gate, the lock long broken and no good at keeping anyone out anymore. The thought to get it fixed flits through her mind, but what would that accomplish?

A deep breath later, and she forces herself to enter the house against her own common sense. The interior of the hermitage is as dusty and abandoned as ever, with broken furniture and books and pictures littering the entryway. The only signs of life were mostly concealed foot prints from the last time the gang came through here. Not to mention, it was dark, with only the circle of light from her torch and the moon providing her with any way to see.

This place really was lifeless…

She makes her way up the stairs, hand trailing along the dusty railing, and her feet take her to what was once her own room through the darkness. It was still the same as the last time she was here. Dolls and children’s books littered the floor. The shelf above her old bed was hanging on by a single peg and it was a miracle it hadn’t long crashed to the floor. The entire room was beset by a cold draft from the broken and crooked window.

And still, as she walks over to sit on the edge of the bed, on stiff sheets and stares at the room that was supposed to be hers… She tucks her legs into her chest and wonders why she didn’t get a chance to come back here with her father.

It’s a bit disrespectful, leaving this place as it is.

The thought occurs to her, unbidden. She’s sitting there with her knees up to her chest and staring at the window that was long off its hinges, with only the filtered light of the moon coming in. Perhaps this place could be put back together in some form. As an honor to her memories. Aelita didn’t know if it would actually help, but it was… something. It was something to try and lay these chaotic thoughts to rest, the ones that kept leading her back here again and again.

Without climbing off the bed, she reached down and picked up the doll that had carelessly fallen off the nearby shelf at one point in time, tucking it gently into the corner of the bed. With the shelf above her head too unstable for placing things back on, this was the best place for a doll to go.

Maybe they could even go back to her dorm, someday. Add to her collection of childhood dolls back there, where the only memory was Mister Puck. But she didn’t know if she was quite ready for that yet. So for now, it means getting everything off the floor. As far as everything went anyways. It meant that pile of books in the corner would have to be put back on the dusty old shelves, that the old, moth-ridden clothes would be put back in the dressers even if they wouldn’t be of any use to her.

A serious clean would require more tools than she had on hand. But… she had to do this. She wanted to.

It may mean nothing to anyone else, but to Aelita, it would be important.

She couldn’t do this sitting down, and so when she could no longer reach anything sitting on the bed, she swung her legs over the edge of the bed and got to work. She picked up the books, the clothes and put them on the shelf and in the drawers. The remaining dolls, she took a moment to straighten their clothes before placing them on the bed too.

The room already looked better. It would need more than she could do with just a night and her hands alone to fix up well and truly. She sweeps her light across the room, as if some burning question would be answered now that the room has been straightened up. There’s nothing, of course.

But it does at least look better, even if still so obviously unlived in.

She turns to leave the room finally, with only a glance at her phone to remind her of the late, late hour. But she’s still not ready to leave, and so she doesn’t. She would make her way back to the school eventually, of course, but right now was not that time. She figures she has a few hours before she really, really has to go back.

Aelita really doesn’t want to leave yet. But she does leave the room at least.

She doesn’t know where she really, really wants to go next, but she decides that something as basic as just picking up the big objects could be a good place to start. She trails through the hermitage. The pictures she saw, the books that maybe she’ll try to read one day. Gathering old worn notes into a pile, ones they realized a long time ago weren’t anything of use but…

She ends up in the living room. There was a piano shoved in the corner and she found herself sitting on the bench. She wasn’t much of a pianist, much as she liked music. And as she pressed a key, she found herself flinching at how horribly out of tune it was. But it was still an old memory, and she found herself sitting there. And she found herself with tears slowly dripping down her face.

It’s when the early morning light filters through the dirty windows that Aelita realizes just how long she’s been here, at this run down piano. Letting herself cry over the loss of her father. A long moment of mourning.

Finally she stands up and starts making her way to the door, casting a look over her shoulder at the house that was ever so slightly more presentable looking. It would take a lot more work, a lot more elbow grease to make this place the house it was in her memories. But maybe after the bit of cleaning, and the long cry her heart felt a little lighter.

She finally drags herself off the property and starts the trek back to campus. Breakfast will start soon, and she thinks she’ll want a shower before she faces her friends. She’ll have to talk to them about her trip. And she’s not totally sure what kind of reaction she’ll earn, though she didn’t believe for a second it would be a negative one.

… That would be something she would just have to find out.

#code lyoko #code secret santa #code lyoko aelita #kaula does writing

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crypticanexe · 2 years

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Every game I played in 2022

I just thought it would be fun to write this out as a sort of recap. Oh, and the order is weird because I went through my favorites list on steam first, then just general "all". It made it a bit confusing I realize now, oh well. Also, I may have missed some. I don't remember every game played - I just went off memory and checked what I could. Sorry :c This is a stupidly long list. I play a lot of different games. Not all of these were "new" games, but they were played at least once in 2022. Steam: -60 Parsecs! -60 Seconds! Reatomized -Alan Wake -Bloons TD 6 -Control (2019) -Cult of the Lamb -Dead by Daylight -Dying Light -Dying Light 2 -Fall Guys -Frostpunk -Golf with your friends -Hitman 3 -Monster Hunter Rise -Only Cans: Thirst Date -Parkasaurus -Realm Royale -Slime Rancher -Slime Rancher 2 -Stacklands -Temtem -Two Point Campus -7 Days to Die -Among us -Ark: Survival Evolved -Armello -BioShock -Dead Island -Death and Taxes -Digimon Story: Cyber Sleuth -Don't Starve -Elden Ring -The Forest -Hotline Miami -House Flipper -Inscryption -Loop Hero -Omori -Oxygen Not Included -Phasmophobia -Planet Zoo -Project Zomboid -Raft -Ring of Pain -Rust -Satisfactory -SCP: Containment Breach -Sid Meier's Civilization V -Slay the Spire -The Standley Parable -Stray -Subnautica -Super Animal Royale -Terraria -Trove -The Unfinished Swan -Unrailed! -Uno -Video Horror Society -CS:GO -Darkwood -Hacknet -"If Found.." -Monster Prom -Paladins -Payday 2 -Second Extinction -Space Engineers Switch Games: -Pokemon Scarlet/Violet -Pokemon Sword/Shield -Pokemon Mystery Dungeon DX -Pokemon Legends Arceus -Pokemon Snap -Rocket League -Fortnite -Death Road to Canada -Animal Crossing: New Horizon -My Hero One's Justice 2 -Night in the Woods Misc. Games: -Minecraft -Pokemon Uranium -Pokemon Fusion -Pokemon Insurgence -PokeMMO -Devil Survivor 2: Record Break (Emulated) -Poptropica (Flashpoint) -Wizard101 -Pirate101 -Legends of Runeterra -WoW Classic -Genshin Impact -Destiny 2

#steam #video games

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alexalily · 2 years

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I've had a couple story ideas lately that both start off as the usual cute fluff that I think up and then at some point transition into some kind of horror movie. These ideas are free to a good home aka I’m unlikely to actually write them so feel free to take these ideas and do whatever you want with them. If you do end up doing that please let me know because I would love to read what you write!!

The first one is, well, I was going to say "inspired by" the movie Willow Creek (2013) but as I typed this out I realized it's more or less a full ripoff of that (lmao). Renee is a cryptid seeker/hunter/believer and Anita is her very supportive (albeit non-believing) girlfriend. At some point, Renee plans out a whole trip to go searching for something/someone (Mothman or Sasquatch or whatever) and Anita agrees to go with her because she doesn't want her not-very-outdoorsy girlfriend going out into the middle of some random woods for several days on her own. From there, it's just a lot of cute relaxing hiking moments. Getting to the top of some trail, looking out across a valley, Renee saying something like "wow, look at the beautiful view" and Anita says "yeah, it is" but she isn't looking at nature, she's looking at Renee. Renee gets caught in some branches or briars or whatever and Anita has to help her get unstuck. But in doing so, Renee takes a branch to the face. Anita kisses it to make it better. Stuff like that, y'know?

That night, they set up camp but start hearing noises. Renee gets spooked thinking it's wild animals or a cryptid or hunters or cultists or who knows what. Anita assumes it's either some animals that'd be more afraid of them than they are of it or it's some locals from the nearby small town fucking with them. But as the night carries on, the noises continue and Anita gets less and less sure about what she's hearing. Renee is way too scared to sleep at this point. I'm not entirely sure where it goes from there, though. Spoilers for Willow Creek but, uh, it goes real bad for those two. And I'm not sure I'd want to put Voidstrike through that. So, maybe it's a tense rush through the forest in the middle of the night as the eerie noises chase them. They get to Anita's truck but it's been smashes or the tires or slashed or it's in some way undriveable so they just have to keep running. Suddenly Renee is thankful that Anita forced her to wake up early to go running with her with some frequency.

The next day they either rent a car or find someone willing to take them back out to Anita's truck and it's absolutely trashed. Anita is heartbroken but Renee is excited because she takes it as undeniable proof that they cryptid they were looking for is absolutely real.

This second one a little bit inspired by Kristy (2014) but mostly inspired by The Rental (2020). I initially wrote this out as a series of tweets but after like 20 tweets I decided it was Too Long to post to twitter and just threw it in a text file and told myself I would definitely flesh it out and write a proper fic of it and haha no I’m not doing that. I’m also not reformatting/retyping this so it’s mostly in 280 character chunks, please enjoy.

College AU Voidstrike where they're roommates. Renee was going stay on campus over break but Anita convinced her to come home with her instead. Renee said it'd be weird to spend the long weekend with someone else's family but Anita says it'd just be the two of them..

Jackson is spending the holiday with his gf's family and her parents decided it'd be a good time for them to go on that cruise they always wanted to go on. So Anita convinces Renee to come with to keep her company cause it's a big house and she'd be lonely on her own.

Important to note: this is all before they're officially dating. Everyone else considers them a couple but they both deny it. Renee is oblivious and thinks Anita isn't even interested in her. Anita isn't sure about Renee's feelings but keeps saying she's gonna shoot her shot soon

They make the drive out to Anita's parents' place. Renee had no idea how well off her parents were, to afford a sleek modern house out in the woods near a lake with barely any neighbors for miles. Anita laughs it off- they only started living it up after she and Jackson moved out

Growing up, she thought they were doing okay but just kinda getting by. Turns out they were saving it for college and vacations. Less than a week after Anita moved out her childhood home into her dorm room, her parents announced they were moving to this new fancy place lmao

Once they get there, Anita has to call Loba and Kairi back. She didn't want to answer the phone while driving but they apparently didn't get the message. Of course all they wanted was to tease her about how this was a setup for her to make a move

"It's not even like that!" she insists. They laugh at her because she's such a terrible liar. She hangs up with them once Renee comes back down stairs from carrying her bag into the guest room. "What did they want?" "Nothing, they just wanted to say hey"

Next, Anita suggests a movie. Renee says she might fall asleep during it. It was a long drive and she's exhausted. Renee cuddling up close to Anita isn't unheard of. She does it every time they watch something in their dorm But that's on a lil futon and not on this giant couch

Renee was right and she falls asleep on Anita's shoulder halfway thru. After a bit, she stirs awake, moves to rest her head on Anita's lap instead, and goes back to sleep. Anita texts Loba and Kairi in a gay panic. "She's too fkin cute! What the hell!"

The movie ends and Anita stays in place for a while but she can't sleep like this so she carefully slides out from under Renee and switches her thigh for a pillow. She gets some blankets for Renee and tucks her in. She considers a good night kiss but decides that'd be a bit much

Anita is careful to be quiet as she goes up to her room (aka the room she's been told is hers even though this is only her 2nd or 3rd time even staying in this house). Just as she's getting in bed, she hears something? A thump? New house. It's probably nothing. The wind.

It bugs her though, so she goes back downstairs just to check everything out. She freezes when she enters the living room, as does the person trying to drag Renee away. Renee tries to scream but a big gloved hand muffles the sound.

Anita takes a step forward but the intruder raises a long kitchen knife at her. Anita freezes again. Her parents insisted on some self defense classes but she doesn't need that to know not to rush someone with a knife.

While the intruder is focused on Anita, Renee takes the opportunity to stomp on a foot and bite the hand over her mouth. It tastes leathery and bad but it makes them flinch enough that she can slide out of their grasp. She stumbles forward, over the couch, and into Anita's arms.

Together, they rush upstairs and into Anita's room. The door doesn’t have a lock so they shove the dresser in front of it and hope that'll be good enough. "Where's your phone?" Renee asks. "In the kitchen. I had to charge it after I called Loba. What about yours?"

Renee pulls hers out of her pocket but explains that hers doesn't get service out here. (Anita suddenly realizes why her parents insisted on a new phone & plan/carrier for the new school year). Renee figured she'd be fine without it for a few days.

The intruder is pounding on the door now. After two strong hits they realize it won't be long before they break the door down.

This was the part where I stopped writing it because I wasn’t sure where to go with it (and also had other obligations to take care of and then never got around to writing more of this). I was thinking that they’d climb out the window and onto the roof. Anita jumps across to a tree and tries to climb down without just plummeting to the ground. But Renee is too scared to jump. Instead she moves across the roof and goes back in the window to the guest room she was staying in (she opened it earlier when she put her bags away, to let the room air out or something). And then... I dunno. They don’t die, I know that much. They get away and are closer than ever. Maybe they catch and/or kill the intruder, I didn’t really think that part through.

I think I’ll be doing posts like this relatively frequently as I work through my old WIPs folder that has been collecting dust for over a year now. I figure if I’m not doing anything with these ideas, I may as well throw them out there and see if anyone else wants to do anything with them. Or, if nothing else, maybe just reading the ideas will bring some people some momentary joy, y’know?

#voidstrike #fic ideas free to a good home

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marshmallow-phd · 4 years

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Healing Touch

Part of The Untamed - EXO Wolf Universe

Genre: Wolf!AU

Pairing: Yixing x Reader

Summary: Medical school abroad was the last line on your to-do list before starting the rest of your life. Everything was going according to plan. Everything, that is, until tragedy strikes your campus. In the wake of a professor’s untimely death, you’re partnered with the cute boy with a breathtaking smile in the newly combined labs. You find yourself unable to resist the dimples and shy glances, but his life is here with no plans of leaving. Will you continue on as planned or will you accept the hand that Fate had dealt you?

Part: 1 I 2 I 3 I 4 I 5 I 6 I 7 I 8 I 9 I 10 I Final

Yixing knew that he needed to get out of the car. The engine still rumbled, giving away his presence. Inside the farmhouse, the others were waiting for him so they could carry out the “family meeting”. Yixing already knew what it was about. And he still hadn’t made up his mind on how – or even if – he was going to tell his pack that this whole situation might be his fault.

Seeing the front door open, Yixing cut the engine and jumped out. Baekhyun poked his head out the screen door. “Are you coming? Junmyeon’s started pacing!”

“Yeah, I’m coming,” Yixing murmured as he kicked his car door shut.

So many doors. So much opening and closing. And the most important one he’d slammed shut himself. He could still see the dejected look on your face more clearly than the steps in front of him. Why did he have to be like this? So noble and overly righteous? He had his mate in his hands and he pushed you away. He needed to keep you safe – but was distance really the right way to do that?

Everyone else was already squished into the living room. There wasn’t much space in this area of the house, which was why they usually had meetings in the kitchen. Junmyeon must have been determined that no one be distracted by food or other easily reachable items.

Said alpha gave Yixing a very pointed look as the latter made his way to the back of the room, squeezing in between Chanyeol and Minseok against the wall.

“Everything okay?” Minseok asked quietly. Yixing nodded, but Chanyeol still threw a concerned glance his way.

“Alright, now that everyone is here,” again with the classic scolding Junmyeon glance, “we need to have a serious talk. There was another attack-”

“Another one!” Jongin exclaimed. His mouth hung on its hinges as he glanced around the room.

“Yes. Thankfully, this one survived. And he might have seen the wolf that attacked him.”

Chatter broke out among the wolves. Some where ecstatic at the possibility of finally knowing who this killer might be. Others were thankful that the man survived. Guesses bounced around about what this rouge wolf could look like. Baekhyun enjoyed the idea of it being a bear-like wolf, larger than even Chanyeol or – he’d stopped himself before he said another name that would shift the mood of the room in a flash.

“Nah, I bet its weak and sickly,” Jongdae interjected.

“Red fur?”

“No, those are rare.”

“I bet it’s blonde and shrimpy like Jongdae.”

“Watch it, Sehun.”

The chatter grew, even with Junmyeon’s insistence that they quiet down. So many voices piled on top of each that finally Yixing couldn’t take their theories anymore.

“It was a gray wolf.”

Despite Yixing’s neutral and low tone, the rest of the pack heard. Immediate silence. All eyes turned to him in confusion. He kept his arms crossed over his chest with his own gaze down on the floor.

“That’s a boring guess,” Sehun grumbled.

“Its not a guess,” Yixing admitted. “That’s what the man said at the hospital.”

Junmyeon stared hard at Yixing. “How do you know that’s the man said?” Lifting his eyes up, Yixing hardened his features. Under his arms, his fists curled tightly, his nails digging into the skin with a dull pain. He’d opened another door. And he didn’t think he could close this one again. Junmyeon sighed. “Everyone out.”

Everyone was reluctant to move.

“Now!”

Feet scrambled and tripped over one another as everyone but Yixing ran out of the room and to the kitchen. Junmyeon hated being forceful like that, having to raise his voice at the others. It was no surprise that he immediately melted back into a calmer state.

“Yixing…” came his steady, yet authoritative voice. “Tell me everything. Please.”

Yixing took a deep breath. It was better this way. He hoped.

“I’ve been blacking out.”

“What?”

“They started around the same time the attacks did,” Yixing explained. “Sometimes I get a headache first. Sometimes it just happens. I lose time – hours usually. And then within that time, there’s an attack.” He could feel his throat closing in. It was more devastating than he’d pictured – telling the truth. He feared his pack turning on him, putting the blame on him, even if it was rightfully done. He’d always been the odd one out, the wolf with a different ancestry. He used to have others to relate to, but when they left….

“Have you ever woken up with blood on you?” Junmyeon asked cautiously.

“No.” A small miracle. There was one time, but he’d found the poor rabbit just a few feet away and the smells matched.

“There could be another explanation for this,” Junmyeon insisted.

Yixing wanted to believe him, but there was other evidence against the hope. “He said it was a gray wolf.”

“Its not that uncommon of a color.”

“But he was attacked right during another one of my blackouts.”

“And where were you?”

“I was in the forest. Running. Alone.”

Junmyeon frowned. “Why were you doing that?”

Yixing shrugged. “I was… happy. Things were going in a good direction with Ming. I just needed to let the energy out and I wanted to be alone….”

“And then a blackout?”

Yixing nodded. “I woke nearby. (Y/n) was the one who had found him. I’d heard her screaming. We took him to the hospital and then I saw (y/n) home.”

“Did you talk to the police?”

“Yeah. All I told them was that I was in the area next to the nature center and heard (y/n) scream.”

“They didn’t think it was odd that you were naked?”

Yixing cringed, embarrassed. “I had my pants on, (y/n) gave me her jacket-” his jacket - “so they didn’t question it.”

“And (y/n)?”

“I doubt she fully believed my hiking story.”

Junmyeon let out a full lung’s worth of a sigh. His shoulders were weighted down by the pressure to keep their existence a secret and also take care of his pack. Would he outcast Yixing to protect the rest? Yixing wanted to cling to the hope that that wouldn’t be the case, but there was always a chance.

Stepping forward, Junmyeon placed a hand on Yixing’s shoulder. A smile, strained but reassuring, crept on his face. “We’ll figure this out. I don’t believe it’s you, but something bigger might be happening. Don’t go through this alone anymore, okay?”

As expected, a rumbling off footsteps shook the floor. Seven pairs arm wrapped around Junmyeon and Yixing.

“Why didn’t you tell us sooner?” Baekhyun whined.

“We could have helped you,” Chanyeol jumped in.

“You don’t have to do this alone,” Minseok agreed.

Yixing smiled, but said nothing. He still wasn’t sure if he’d made the right decision in revealing his condition. There was no telling what lied at the end of this road – either Yixing would be free to live his life with you or he would be outcast from the pack with a heavy conscious.

“Did I miss something?”

All heads snapped to the front parlor. Ji Yeon stood in the entryway with a coffee cup in one hand and her laptop bag in the other. Small chuckles echoed around the room as the group shifted away from each other. Even Yixing gave off a short laugh. It was a nice release, but now that meant Ji Yeon would need to be made aware of the current situation, adding to Yixing’s fear. As Minseok shuffled closer to his mate, Yixing slipped out of the room, wondering when he would be able to be close to his own mate again.

It was one thing to think about personal issues on personal time. It was another to stop coming to class altogether. And for once, it wasn’t you avoiding the problem.

You had gone to class like normal, even though you were fully aware that a certain someone would – or, at least, should – be sitting in his usual seat when you arrived. You weren’t surprised at all when he hadn’t found you to walk you from class to class. That was to be expected after the abrupt ending to your last encounter. But him skipping class altogether was unexpected. Yixing was a dutiful student. Being in class was important. And yet, his seat was conspicuously empty when you stepped into the lab.

It was suffice to say that you were a little put out by his avoidance. You had conceded to the idea that you were going to suffer through having to sit next to him all class period and yet, all your panicking and worry was for not.

Maybe this was secretly a good thing. Maybe you would be able to concentrate better with the table to yourself.

That was not the case.

While you tried to concentrate on Professor Jiang’s lecture, your mind kept wondering back to Yixing.

Was he okay? Was he avoiding you? Had he dropped the class for good? Because of you?

What were the “things” that he needed to figure out? Were you right in thinking that he had a girlfriend off campus? Or was something else going on? Family things?

Your head was spinning with all the different possibilities. You might have heard a few technical terms during the lecture, but none of it sunk in. The pencil in your hand hardly scribbled across the notepad. Words floated meaningless from the textbook.

When Professor Jiang ended the session, you closed the textbook with a hard slam. Many eyes turned to you in shocked curiosity.

“Sorry,” you mumbled as you quickly packed away the rest of your supplies. Keeping your head down, you rushed out of the classroom and through the halls until you were outside under the cloud-hidden sun.

Finding a bench, you sat down, leaning forward on your knees as your eyes trailed over the cracked concrete sidewalk. That period was a dud, you were sure of that. At some point you would have to squeeze in extra study time to make up for the inability to control your attention. It was all Yixing’s fault. He was the one who had kissed you and then left. A few times you had unlocked your phone to call him, but never went through with it. You didn’t want to come off as desperate or clingy. You were trying not to care. In the past, you never had before. There was no reason for Yixing to be any different.

Except that he was.

You felt a bit… broken. Or perhaps rejected was the right word. There was a lot going on inside you that it was hard to pinpoint the exact emotions. Those words were both exaggerated and not enough in their explanations.

Deciding that you were done with this oddly out of character pity party, you stood up and continued walking until you’d left the campus grounds all together and crossed the street in the direction of your apartment.

Ran was home when you walked through the door. Her music – vibrating loudly through the miniature Bluetooth next to her on the floor – drowned out your steps into the living room. Spread out around her were notebooks, textbooks, different colored pens and a half-filled coffee mug. A one-person study session. She jumped when she finally noticed you. “Oh, hey!” She reached over and turned down the music so it was now at a low background noise level. “What are you doing already?”

“I wasn’t feeling too well,” you lied. She believed you since you were sure you looked the part. “I thought it might be best to come home and lie down.”

Ran jokingly cringed away from you. “Ew, don’t get me sick. I have plans with Hae In this weekend.”

“I don’t think it’s a bug or anything. My body might just be rebelling against lack of sleep.” Surely Ran had heard your tossing and turning the last several nights.

“Hey,” Ran caught you attention again before you could escape to your room. “So, uh, did anything happen between you and that Yixing guy after I left?” She wiggled her eyebrows playfully.

You shook your head. “No. We talked about class a bit and then he went home. Family emergency or something like that.”

“Hm. Interesting. Well, take it form me, he definitely likes you.”

“I doubt that.”

“No, seriously.” Ran took a sip from the mug, flinched at the now probably lukewarm liquid, and then put it back down. “The way he was looking at you, he likes you. A lot. I think you should give him a chance.”

You chewed on her observations. “I’ll think about it.”

Safe in the four walls of your tiny room, you curled up on your bed with your back against the headboard. As wonderful as sleep sounded and even with Ran now keeping her music at a more manageable level, you doubted your brain would be able to shut off. To try and be distracted by something, you logged into the “Dream University’s” website to check your status.

Still waitlisted. Okay. This was fine. You weren’t actually expecting any change. You just wanted something to do. You were growing antsy. Coming home might not have actually been the best idea. It was the walk itself that had been helpful, freeing for your mind. Now that you were still again, you were back to where you were in the classroom. Unfortunately, the overthinking anxiety wouldn’t let you just get up and go – not with Ran still in the living room. Did it make any sense? Absolutely not. Did that matter? Nope.

About twenty minutes or so went by with you simply scrolling through social media until you heard the music stop and the rustling of the school supplies being picked up. After five minutes of clean up, the front door opened and then closed again. Just to be extra sure that Ran was gone for good, you watched the clock on your phone click by for ten minutes.

Now you were able to leave.

Wrapping up in a jacket (not Yixing’s), you checked your pockets for all the essentials and then headed out the door.

It was back to the nature center for you. It probably wasn’t the smartest place to go given your last adventure in the park, but it had nice winding trails and there would be people around – at a distance, that is.

The clouds were still heavy in the sky when you arrived. Not to the point where they threatened rain, but enough to color the world a dull gray. Squirrels dotted along the path. Their bellies were round and full, telling you that the locals had been feeding them despite the signs that clearly advised against it. Some were brave enough or curious enough to come close to you, but scurried away as soon as it was clear that you were not one of the gracious humans that bestowed them fluffy bread.

Letting your feet guide you along the asphalt path, you let yourself be absorbed in the trees. Your mind still wander towards Yixing, but you didn’t fight it anymore. You were hoping that overexposure would lead to a numbness, an immunity. But he wasn’t a disease attacking your body, he was just a boy. A cute, dimple-smiled boy who made you feel at ease.

Crack!

You snapped your head up at the sudden sound. You half expected a bunny to come hopping out of the side bushes, letting you laugh at yourself. But it wasn’t a bunny twenty feet off the trail.

It was a wolf.

A gray wolf. Just like the hiker said. And it was staring right at you.

Scanning the area, you searched for the closest route to the main center, but you were too far in. This was exactly why you avoided the woods!

You vaguely remembered the advice not to run because then the wolf would treat you like prey. It always sounded like stupid advice. Even more so now as the creature charged in your direction. You charged off the path in the opposite direction of the wolf, pushing the air out of your lungs and screaming as loud as you could.

“Are you sure it was around here?”

Yixing threw Junmyeon a look. “Yes. I’m sure.”

The two wolves were currently trotting through the woods to find the spot where Yixing had found the man and Ming. Junmyeon wanted a better look at the scene in the off chance he might get a better intact of the scent left behind. Each time they’d gone looking for answers in the past, the scent had been too old and dulled to really pick it apart. They were probably too late now, but they’d spent the last few days at the farmhouse, keeping an eye on Yixing to see if another blackout would occur. It hadn’t, much to Junmyeon’s disappointment.

“It was close to the nature center,” Yixing explained once again. They’d come from the north, rather than straight from the center. Yixing had hoped that he’d have a better insight to the location. They were getting warmer.

A sudden twig snap made their human ears perk up.

“Could that be--”

“It was probably just a rabbit,” Junmyeon guessed.

As if to prove him wrong, the snap was followed by a wolf’s rumbling howl. And then a high pitched scream.

Yixing gasped. He knew that scream.

“That’s (y/n)!”

Junmyeon looked at him, unconvinced. “Are you sure?”

Yixing’s response was a ferocious growl as he took off without his alpha. A wolf always knows his mate.

202 notes · View notes

arminbitchlover · 3 years

Text

reincarnated lovers (1)

armin arlert x f!reader

summary: in their past life, reader and armin's love journey is cut short with the tragic death of reader from a deadly plague. now, they are once again reunited, but somehow everything feels wrong between them.

word count: 2.5k

content warnings: death

1349

"Armin... it hurts." You dazed off and felt nothing but sharp pains all over your body.

Your throat was dangerously dry, and your stomach grumbled from the lack of food you couldn't properly digest. You suffered from the feeling of a knife being pushed into your lungs and when you tried to pick up your head, black dots overtook your fuzzy vision. Every time you tried to move a muscle, the pain would exponentially heighten, and experienced your abdomen compress with an exorbitant amount of pressure.

"N-no please don't leave me yet. What about all our plans together? Going to the beautiful forest behind the hills for our anniversary next week, building a house to move in together, getting married, a-and start a family..." Armin's voice cracked as tears cascaded down his cheek and dripped onto your arm.

You sensed a soft warm hand grab yours which caused your heartbeat to quicken as you felt it coarse throughout your body.

This is the end.

You knew this was your last few moments on earth with your soulmate. It was over so fast. Too fast. You couldn't believe you wouldn't be able to fill the promises you made with your lover. This was your only and last chance at this life, and it was over in nineteen years, only four of them being spent with the person you thought you would grow old with

"Stay away... get sick..." You jerked your arm away from Armin unaware that you didn't feel the need to chug a gallon of water to quench your throat and that the nauseating feeling from hunger completely vanished as you kept slipping in and out of consciousness.

"Don't do this shit to me right now, I'm staying by your side no matter what." He lightly caressed your face not caring about the black lumps that engrossed your skin.

He knew he would become infected sooner or later and understood that this would be it for you even though he couldn't find it in himself to believe it.

"I-I-I'm sorry." You felt the back of your throat get knotted up but couldn't produce any tears.

You slowly moved your hand back down to your side, not feeling the aching pain that had taken over your body, as you barely brushed his fingertips.

"Baby, what are you apolo... not your fault." He looked down to your palm and intertwined his fingers with your cold limp hand. He trailed his eyes back up to your face and saw your closed eyes.

"Y/n?" His breathing became shallow and irregular as he gently shook your body in an attempt to bring you back to consciousness.

You lightly squeezed his hand with the last bit of energy you had in you; letting him know that you were still with him.

This isn't the last time... swear to you we'll find each other again... I'll... protect you. I lo..."

And that was it.

The last words you heard.

Passing away was more peaceful than you imagined. It was just like going to sleep, except you knew that you wouldn't wake up with Armin by your side.

...we'll find each other again...

His last words kept replaying in your mind before your brain completely shut off. It made you happy. He made you happy. You died happy knowing that there was a chance to meet him again, but who are you kidding, this was it. It's over now.

Right?

Present Day

"I don't know if going on a date is the best thing to do right now, Sasha. I just got out of a three-year relationship with Jean and that was really rough." You grab a bag of chips and plop yourself onto your bed.

"Comeeee onnnnnn, y/n, I think you would really get along with this guy. I mean he's smart and kind anddddddddd has a pretty face!" She walks up to you and quickly steals a chip from you.

"Hey! Well as tempting as your mystery man sounds, my professors decided to assign a shitload of work, so I have to get busy." You pull out the box of textbooks from under your bed as you mentally prepare yourself for a draining weekend.

"Ugh, you're hopeless. Well, I'm going with Niccolo for a while, so have fun with... that! But if you change your mind, I'll text you his number." She grabs a Twinkie and skips out of your dorm room.

You figure that maybe she's somewhat right, but you know it's too soon to go out with another person. You and Jean had been together since high school and only broke up because you agreed that both of you needed time to find yourselves in college. It's very apparent that you still have some type of feelings for him even if it isn't love and it certainly didn't help that he goes to the same school as you.

But it is college. Even though the love you have towards Jean is still slightly there, maybe going out with another person was what you need to get over him. Even then, you wasted all your high school years getting good grades and being an A+ student that you never got to enjoy yourself and you weren't going to mess it up again. Besides what's the worst thing that could happen?

༛༛ ༛ ༛༺༻༛ ༛ ༛༛

roomie <3

Today 5:12 PM

can you send me his number

AHH I KNEW IT

here ya go ;)

contact sent

ur a pain but thank u

you better tell me how it

goes!!

duhh

love u

love you moreee

༛༛ ༛ ༛༺༻༛ ༛ ༛༛

While gazing at the contact, you can't quite explain the feeling you have in your stomach and could only call it excitement, but why?

You're just going out with a guy you've never even met before and for all you know, he could be some creepy perv who just wants to make you feel extremely uncomfortable for his own liking. You giggle to yourself as you keep on thinking of worst-case scenarios and become very aware of how in need you are of getting out of your dorm.

You sit and stare at your phone, wondering how to text someone who may not even remember his conversation about you with Sasha. But fuck it, it was just a date.

༛༛ ༛ ༛༺༻༛ ༛ ༛༛

Maybe: Armin Arlert

Today 5:20

hey armin, i'm y/n and i don't

if you recall giving your number

to sasha but she said we would make

a great match so i would love to go

out with you later today !

Hey y/n, I do recall Sasha

talking about you and everything

so I would be honored to take you out! (:

Do you want to go out for

a coffie in about an hour?

yeah, that sounds great !

We can meet at the library.

alright, see you then (:

Read 5:31

༛༛ ༛ ༛༺༻༛ ༛ ༛༛

You feel your face warm up, excited to finally do something out of school and maybe have the possibility to meet someone who could be special. You waste no time sitting around, given that you had only an hour to look your best, and got ready.

You have ten minutes to spare after prepping yourself and decide to walk to the library a bit early. You head out of your dorm, still in disbelief that you're going out with someone who was a stranger. It's definitely more of an exhilarating feeling than a nervous one; this would be the second person you've ever gone out with, Jean being your first and only partner and you have to admit that you feel good. You could feel yourself growing as a person even if this was just a silly first date that could potentially mean nothing.

You make your way to the front of the library and right when you were about to open the door you hear your name being softly called out. You turn around and see a blonde boy with a blue-collar shirt and khakis.

Damn, you have no idea who this boy is and you don't care, but why is someone this gorgeous calling out to you? His doll-like skin complexion looks so soft and smooth while his shirt matches his blue eyes perfectly, and his khakis just adding on to his soft persona.

"Are you y/n?" He snaps you out of your thoughts and back to reality.

"Oh, um yes, and you're Armin? How did you know it was me?" You can't keep your eyes off of him. This is the mystery man that Sasha fixed you up with and, fuck, he's more beautiful than you could've pictured.

"Sasha showed me pictures of the two of you and I must say you're more stunning in person." His cheeks turn into a bright pink as he looks down, feeling as if he's embarrassing himself.

"Thank you and you're a lot more attractive than I ever imagined." You give him a friendly smile when he looks back up as he hears your compliment.

"The uh coffee shop is not far off-campus so we can walk if you like." He rubs the back of his neck, unsure how to begin your date.

"Yeah, that sounds great." You both walk together in awkward silence, not knowing how to start a chat with each other.

"So, Armin, what are you majoring in?" You turn your head towards him, but Armin seems to not want to make any eye contact with his hands in his pockets.

"Oceanography."

"That's cool, have you always loved the ocean or are you just experimenting with different fields?" You try to carry on with the conversation, hoping he would open up to your about his studies at the least.

"I've always loved the ocean."

"Are the classes you're taking pretty difficult?" You feel your face heat up as he continues to be difficult about continuing your attempted dialogue.

"No."

You start losing your patience with this boy. It frustrates you that no matter what you did he can't try to at least engage in the conversation. You knew from the beginning that this could've been a disaster, but it hadn't even started, and it's already exasperating.

You start to genuinely think of ideas to bail yourself out before it could get any worse, but no, you're going to finish this date whether it's awful or not and move on with your life. You told yourself you were evolving as a person and to bail would only be taking you a step back from the new you.

"How do you know Sasha," you ask him, making it your last-ditch effort to start a conversation as you arrive at the coffee shop.

"We met through a mutual friend at a party." He opens the door for you and both of you enter the cafe.

You and Armin are kindly greeted by the barista as you walk to to the cashier. Both of you order your drinks and sit at a table that's next to the glass wall.

"So, did you meet Sasha because you're dorm mates?" He finally ignites some type of conversation as he fidgets with his fingers.

"We actually somewhat knew each other through my ex-boyfriend and we randomly got paired to be dorm mates." You grin to yourself, thinking about how close you and Sasha got over the year.

Even if it was a bitter-sweet moment mentioning Jean, that you realize may not have been the best thing to do. You hear you and Armin's name being called, but right when you're about to get up Armin quietly spoke, "Stay here, I got it."

You watch him get up from his seat and walk back over to the cashier. He pulls out his brown leather wallet, pays for both of your drinks, and makes his way back to the table with a cup in each hand.

"Thank you for paying, you really didn't have to do that." You feel your cheeks get hot as you grab your drink, slightly grazing his fingers.

"It was no biggie." He shrugs his shoulder and slumps back to his seat.

Subsequently, the awkward silence is back, but a lot stronger than before. You can't understand why it's so difficult to get along with him if this was the date where you're supposed to get to know each other and have endless topics to discuss. You keep reassuring yourself that this would be over soon anyway and now you know that Armin just isn't the one for you and you're completely fine with that. At this point, you only see Armin as the boy you went on the most awkward date with and didn't even picture him as a friend.

"Sorry about this, I've never done anything like this before," he mumbles while tapping on the side of his cup, not wanting to look at you because he felt ashamed.

"O-oh, don't stress about it too much, it's my first date after getting out of my relationship so we're on the same boat." You both exchange warmhearted smiles, trying to break the tension but nothing seems to work.

"We can go back to campus. I have some assignments I need to finish up anyways," he suggests and you feel the weight being lifted off your shoulders. Even though Armin seems like a great person, both of you assume that your wavelengths couldn't match, and it was just best to end it.

"Yeah, that sounds good. I also need to catch up on schoolwork as well." Both of you grab your drinks and head back to school without trying to strike a conversation, knowing that it would just make the tension even more awkward.

As soon as you make it back to your dorm, you must say that you never feel happier to arrive in your shitty box.

"Well, thank you for the coffee and I hope you have a great weekend."

"Yeah, you too." You both wave bye and you walk into your dorm, feeling displeased.

While you didn't expect your date to be completely perfect and for you and Armin to fall in love, this was by far the last thing you wanted to happen.

It didn't take long for you to forget what had transpired as you change to comfortable clothes and start heavily working on your assignments. While you were finishing up on one of your worksheets, you feel your phone vibrate and see a text from Sasha.

༛༛ ༛ ༛༺༻༛ ༛ ༛༛

roomie <3

love you moreee

Today 7:47

you better still have some energy

left in you

i'm heading back to get dressed

cause we're going to go PARTYYYY

oh god sasha

i don't do well at parties

pleaseeeeee

i can introduce you to my friends

they're really cool

okayyy sure

so get dolled up

i'll be there soon <3

alright

Read 7:53

next chapter | series masterlist

#tw: death #armin x reader #armin arlert #armin arlert x reader #armin arlert x reader smut #armin arlert smut

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mxvladdy · 4 years

Text

Lucifer- True Form

Went ham. Had fun. Here is some angst (minor) and fluff and stuff.

Next up: Plot twist! Diavolo

He wears the heaviest glamour out of all of the brothers. The rage and pain from being cast from heaven has warped his angelic body. Turning him into a husk of his former divine glory. He is massive. His body is tall and gaunt. His large form towers over the oak trees of the Devildom forest, each step of his gnarled feet leaving chard prints in their wake. Lucifer is deceptively strong for as emaciated as he looks.

After the war his body is in a constant state of trying to heal itself. His skin hardens into a thick scab before flaking off, only to reform moments later. His body trying to reform to its old self, even after he had fallen. It gives him an almost dripping look. When larger pieces flack off you can see stark white bones underneath for the briefest of moments before the darkness swallows it whole again. It is a continuous breaking and mending, a maddening itch and perpetual soul deep ache.

The halo that once sat righteously atop his crown is now embedded in it. It is buried deep into his skull and shattered after his fall to the Devildom. In a vain attempt to make it look better he filed and broke pieces away styling them the best his broken pride could. They resemble large branching antlers now, sharp and lethal. Ancient hymns lost to time that were engraved by his father when he was young are now worn and dingy, the text indistinguishable in part. It was a tarnished holy relic that only the foolish would try to take (And many souls from all three realms have tried). A few centuries ago he got the jagged edges capped and adorned with gold. Bright red garnet and jewels are interwoven in thin, but strong, gold chains drape over the distorted halo. It was a gift from Diavolo, as the prince somehow finds this form beautiful.

Like Mammon, he is littered with scars from battle not even his healing magic can mend. They have made him slower, the constant mending of his tattered flesh has made it grow stiff and subsequently stunts his range and movement. Scars layer upon scars across his body. Twisting in on themselves like bark. His own personal chains. The holes where he discarded his wings in an act of defiance are now blackened craters in his back. He is unable to heal those that are self inflicted.

You can hypothesize his inability to heal this form as a battle of will. His own mind and body in inner-turmoil, parts of him wanting to continue a torture he doesn’t deserve.

It is fine, it is his burden to bear.

On the rare rainy days you can hear his joints creak and groan as his skin tears and reform. His bones grind together chillingly. He believes it is symbolic. His body groaning under the strain over-encumbered by the weight of his sins. All the brothers know to give him space on those days.

Even in his human glamour he wears stiff fabrics and corsets to help brace his body and give him an air of dignity even when he just wants to crumple at his desk.

He knew his actions in the celestial realm would have severe repercussions; but he never could have imagined it to be this abhorrent. This was truly the cruelest punishment his father could have ever bestowed on him. A form he can find no pride in.

Mini fic

Ugh. Everything hurt.

If the knot in your neck got any bigger you doubt you’d be about to move out of your chair. You close your textbook with a quick snap, done for the day. Any more drawn out paragraphs from magicians long since dead and you were going to scream. The hours in the school study hall had been beneficial but draining. The tutor on duty that day, a low-level demon named Drath, had taken a shine to your eagerness to learn and was more than willing to sit with you to talk out some of the more advanced runes you were struggling with. They had moved on to help a few more students after a while, pleased with your new understanding of Devildom magic. You stretch out in your seat, grunting softly as your spine pops. Tired of your studies you rise to perch at the window of the large room. The large windowsill overlooked the courtyard of the campus. A few students and professors run out in the courtyard trying to find shelter from the rain.

The sudden downpour had hit during lunch. The torrential downpour hammers at the windows and roof of the school. Trees and bushes tossed about in the high winds, flattened by the rain. Bright flashes of lighting blinding your eyes every so often making you blink the spots from your eyes to see the white board. Truthfully, the storm looked like it had settled on the school, happy to howl and pelt any unlocky souls with oversized raindrops. Shoot, you had hoped it would have waned by the end of classes. You hadn’t grabbed your raincoat or umbrella that morning. Cloudy days were common enough here, but rain? Has it ever rained while you were here? You peak at your phone, debating if you should text one of the brothers to come bring you an umbrella. Hmmm- you still had thirty minutes left before your study time was officially over. Maybe you’d get lucky and it would lighten up before you were forced to head back to the dorms.

You had made plans to go to the new outdoor cafe with Asmo and Beel after dinner. A little something to take you collective minds off the daunting midterms looming over you all. Lucifer’s warnings had been very clear. All residents of the house had to get good grades, no exceptions. His sharp eyes had lingered on Mammon and Asmodeus a little longer than the rest. You could feel the heat of his dark eyes even from your chair across the table. You weren’t a horrible study, but somethings just weren’t clicking like they should. It was a little stressful (a lot stressful). After a few nights of stress sobbing with Beel you had finally gone with Solomon to his study group. A few weeks of lessons and you felt much better. Good enough to celebrate. If the damn weather would take the hint.

As if the weather was attuned to your thoughts a huge flash of bright orange lightning cracked across the sky. It rattled the stained glass window, the light blinding you. Great. Blinking the white dots from your vision you turn back to your desk. Looks like you were just going to have to make a run for it.

“Forgot something?”

“Lucifer!” You smile accepting the large umbrella from his gloved hand. “Thanks! I didn’t know you were still on campus.”

“Yes. I had a few errands and meetings with Diavolo cramped in.” He looks down at you with a tight-lipped smile. In the bright light of the room you noticed beads of sweat forming on his smooth brow trailing down his temples. His eyelid pulsed, fluttering with his heart beat. If you hadn’t been staring you probably wouldn’t have noticed. You look at him, noticing how despondent his normal ridged prideful aura was. He stares blankly down at one of your large tomes struggling with the large clasps.

“Are you well?” Lucifer blinks, dropping the metal bindings as if burned. He licks his pale lips for a moment in contemplation. Something just on the verge of slipping out. But, it is quickly lost shuttered away behind his normal lofty expression.

“What makes you say that?” He asks. Lucifer turns away from you to collect your things. “Come, We’ll be taking the back way to the house. It has better coverage and the storm has yet to reach it.” You follow behind quietly, waving a quick goodbye to Solomon and Drath.

The silence around Lucifer was different today. Normally he hid his agitation from you, only bringing it out if it was directed towards you. You’d only seen him like this when Mammon had done something foolish. “Lucifer, what’s wrong.” You try again catching his sleeve to pull him back. It all happened so fast. A sharp inhalation of breath, his arm jerked from yours. His whole being repelled by your touch. He rounds on you, eyes flashing dangerously. He never minded when you touched him before. “Luci?”

“Please,” He cuts you off with a trembling hand. “I am fine. Let’s get home before the storm worsens.” He drops you off at the front stairs and excuses himself, muttering about other business to attend to. You stare after him deeply perturbed. He was never the most touchy-feely of the seven, but he was always straight with you after what happened with Belphie. To be so physically distant worried you.

He wasn’t at dinner. The head of the table was devoid of his strong presence. The other brothers seemed to be making an unusually strong effort not to look at the vacant spot. Even Satan, who you thought would be smirking at the fact the eldest had broken his own rules, sat eyes glued to a book perched in his lap. His golden spoon paused midway to his mouth. It was almost like nothing was amiss. “Is Lucifer o.k?” You turn to Levi, his head buried in his handheld, food halfway eaten. His fingers pause for a moment over his screen.

“Ye, he’s fine. Just doesn’t like the rain is all.” Oh. It doesn’t settle your worries but if no one else was stressing…

The storm lasted well into the night. The rolling thunder keeps you up well past when you should be sleeping. That and the annoying creaking that echoed out from your unlit fireplace. Or was it your window? The groaning and grinding sounds permeated the air of your room, picking up intensity at odd intervals. It reminded you of a swaying tree caught in a hurricane. Limbs twisting and snapping in the wind as it is battered from all angles, its thick trunk losing the fight to stay upright. The low grinding of it all resonating in your chest, deep and palpable. It was so loud, and the forest was so far away. Irritated, you push yourself out of bed, determined to find a place where the noise couldn’t reach you.

Pacing the long desolate hallways you try to retrace your steps to a lesser used room. Maybe steal one of Belphie’s favorite sleeping nooks. As you make your way down the hallways you begin to notice the sounds of the trees getting louder. Like you had suddenly found yourself in a grove of winding and dancing trees. You take a sharp left determined to find the cause of the noise and put an end to it. In your frustration you almost missed the door left ajar. Mid stride you stop. Who would be up at this hour? Coming closer you recognize the door.

It was Lilith’s room. The warm glow of firelight pulsing on the velvet of the hallway rug. The groaning sound of trees comes from behind the ornate door. You bristle, if one of the brothers was setting up stupid prank this late at night you’d kill them.

The eldest of the brothers stood staring into the pits of the roaring hearth. His dark eyes were glassy. The reds of his iris reflect the dancing flames. He was completely obvious to your intrusion. Clothes lay scattered about the floor haphazardly, his shirt, vest and overcoat were thrown across the floor, pants hanging low on his narrow waist. Lucifer moves closer to the roaring flames with less then his usual grace. His left leg seems stiff, the knee unwilling to bend fully as he walks. In the magically created sunlight of the room you notice his alabaster skin shift and flicker, like a TV with a bad connection. One second it was smooth, the next chard rough patches litter his skin. The black welts and molting flesh flash before you then disappear. He croons deep in the back of his throat as the flames lick at his outstretched hand. Again the sounds of tree limbs snap assault your ears as he flexes his fingers.

You stand rooted to the spot unsure of what to do. This was a very vulnerable moment for him you were sure. When was the last time you saw him with his body fully uncovered? Never. You really should give him some privacy. This was clearly not something he wished for anyone to see. Yet your heart wept for him. Lucifer was clearly in pain. Bare fingers digging large groves into the stone of the fireplace. His jaw twitching as sharp pains rack his body. “I know you're there.” He pins you in place with his husky voice. “It’s rude to stare.”

You stumble in, legs trembling. You could feel the rant coming. Bracing yourself you squeeze your eyes shut and wait for the torrent. Whatever he was going to say was cut short, a hitched breath making you look up. He is gripping at his side, unable to look at you. “Lucifer?” He raises his free hand to you, ignoring you to limp to the overstuffed armchair. He hunches over shielding his face in his large palms.

“It’s best if you forget you saw this. Please leave.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Leave.” He repeats again more firmly. “I wish to be alone.” He waves you off. You hear the creaking again. It moves with him.

“Is that you?” You ask. Watching him adjust himself in his seat. The sound of twigs bending to their max before snapping answer your question.

“Astute observation as always.” He grunts rubbing at his knee. “One would think Mammon is rubbing off on you.” His biting jab is dry. His eyes dart to the rainfall outside. His insult completely lacks his usual sting. But then again his barbs were always softened with you.

“It’s the rain isn’t it?” You ignore his blatant want for solitude, feed up with his stupid broodiness and unwilling to let a friend hurt. “My granddad was that same way. His joints would just ache and pop during really bad weather.” He puffs up for a second, comparing him to an old man twisted sourly in his gut. “Let me help?”

“How?” He whispers beyond tired suddenly. He had talked to Barbatos earlier that day. The storm was here to stay for the time being. A day or two at most. To him it would be an eternity. You approach, hands raised as if to a cornered animal. In a way he felt like it. He sits still, allowing you to approach. Lucifer chokes back a small whimper of bliss as you touch him. Your palms were so warm, resting and rubbing on his aching shoulder. He could feel his old bones settle; a brief moment of bliss.

“What do you need?”

He leads you to his quarters, letting you stop by your room to grab a few things on the way. You reappear from your room, shaking your rucksack at him with a smile. “I think some of these things might help!” Lucifer appreciated the sentiment but doubted it highly.

You were used to nights spent in his office, and a few rare occasions that he invited you to his bed chambers. That is where he led you now. His hand is large and warm on your back as he shuffles you past his bed and towards his walk in closet. You look about, confused at his vast collection of historical clothes and why you were in his closet to begin with. He smiles weary at your question but stays silent coming to stop at his wardrobe. He takes you through to another hidden room. The magic of the vast space making your skin tingle. Goosebumps blossoming on your arms and neck.

It was an unused part of the catacombs. Eons ago Lucifer had stumbled upon it in his explorations of his new home. It had long since become a mini sanctuary from when the odd storm got to his bones, or a brother had gotten under his skin. Large orbs float lazily across the vaulted ceiling. Knocking into each other with a soft tinkle of chimes. Their warmth was reminiscent of spring time back in the celestial realm. Already his old bones felt better. His mind unclouding.

His stride falters for a moment, polished dress shoes squeaking on the opulent marble. What was he going to do? Show you himself? “Lucifer?” He feels you turn to him, sliding his arm away from your back to grip it in your small hands. “Let me help you? Please?” You make eye contact and smile reassuringly.

His resolve breaks. Damn, when had he gotten so soft? “Help me with my jacket.” His words were muddled but clear. It was getting hard to rotate his right shoulder again. The storm was raging right over the house now and his body protested. He had redressed hastily in Lilith’s room. You may have seen him at his most vulnerable, but he would never let the brothers. If Satan saw, he’d never hear the end of it. You nod and walk behind him. Standing on tiptoes you help him shrug off his coat and fold it neatly to side with your belongings. The corset beneath was a little trickier for you. It was an ingeniously designed brace that doubled as a designer corset. You never noticed, but up close the silk of his corset was brocade. The black of the fabric was decorated with a subtle shiny black thread. To the naked eye one couldn’t see it. But you could feel it as you brushed your fingers along his waist. In the bright light of the room the thread shimmered in all of its intricacies.

“They are runes.” He answers your silent question refusing to look at you as you worked, hyper aware of your fingers tracing the stitching. “It helps with-” the pain, the humiliation, my pride? “Everything.” You nod accepting his words and unlace it gently. He shivers at the soft caress, it was like his body gravitated towards your touch. His actual skin buzzing with want.

“Does this happen a lot?” You come to his front and begin on the buttons of his dress shirt.

“No, rainstorms like this are rare. Once every couple of centuries it gets- bad.” Lucifer leans some of his massive weight on you while you lift his arm out of the sleeve. “You are good at this.” He eyes you skeptically. How many people had the luxury of your undivided attention?

You chuckle turning to fold his shirt neatly. “Why thanks, I guess? Like I said my granddad had bad bones. I used to help him on the bad days.” You eye his pants and flush. “I won’t help with those though.”

“Pity. Give me a moment would you?” The demon chuckles turning to give himself an illusion of privacy. Already being out of the cold and drafty halls made him feel better already. This room had been meticulously built to help him. Artificial sun, warm, and not too humid. A light draft in the rafters getting the air circulating. Spending the night down here, and he’d be able to function for tomorrow's numerous meetings. Closing his eyes he releases his glamour.

Shifting felt like breaching water. A slight resistance then a cool wave of relief as he breaches the surface. Resting on his hunches his rumbles low, feeling his broken halo scrap the vaulted ceiling. His little human gasps looking up, and up, and up till they meet his hollow skull like face. He holds his breath, gut and hearts clenching in fear. What must you think of him? He watches with trepidation knowing this body was a lot to comprehend. “Wow. I thought you were tall before.” You grab at your satchel digging into the depths. “I’m afraid my little jar won’t go far now, but I’d still like to try.” He leans down looking at the jar posed at the tips of your fingers.

“Tiger balm?” His voice was abrasive and jagged. The multilayered lilt scrapped your eardrums like metal on bone. You flinch. A slight twinge of your shoulders barely noticeable, but it makes him recoil nonetheless. It's jarring, but not as scary as you originally thought.

“Sorry,sorry.” You placate the giant beast. “Took me by surprise.” You creak a reassuring grin. “This whole day has. But that’s ok.” You meet his gaze, his oblong head cocked to the side to stare at you. Up close you could see that his eye sockets weren’t hollow as they originally appeared. Deep within the bone and flaking flesh you could see a faint pure white glow, a little pinprick in the abyss flickering like a candle. Taking his stillness as permission you wonder back over to his large taloned feet. The constant healing and chaffing of his skin creates a foul vapor around him. The plumes of it blocking out the sunning orbs in waves. It smelled awful, like burning hair, skin and sulfur. But you push through taking small breaths through your mouth till your body adjusted. You glance at the tiny jar in your hand feeling stupid. “I’ll have to order some more but I hope this helps.” Lucifer looks at your outstretched hand at a complete loss of what you expected him to do. “Well,” You gestate at him to come closer. “Where does it hurt the most?” He laughs. A dry clicking in the back of his many vocal chords. His back hurt the most, it always did. A consistent little reminder of what his past actions cost him. Though, there were some things he wasn’t ready to divulge to you.Yet.

“That little jar will do nothing. But-” He continues trying to cover for his snappishness. He hated the frown drawing tight on your lips. “I will be signing a lot of paperwork tomorrow.” He brings a massive hand down and places it on the cool marble in front of you. The joints were bare to you, the flesh unable to encompass the swelling. His phalanges felt cold and hot all at once. Sudden spasms making the exposed nerves light up and twitch. “If you could?”

Clambering up his table sized finger with his approval you straddle it and rub some of your ointment on your palms to warm it. “Let me know if I hurt you.” With that you sink your hands through the mist and begin to work at his tender joints. The great beast rumbles in enjoyment. His keen nose picking up the spicy scent of the balm and your naturally pleasant musk. Within minutes the warming ointment began to soothe him. Leaving you to your ministrations Lucifer arches his neck up to the sky and begins to sun himself. The tension of the rain storm rolling off his body as the sun globs begin to orbit around his massive frame. Your little hums of happiness as you worked made this almost worth the humiliation of you seeing him at his lowest.

#obey me lucifer #obey me fandom #obey me #obey me headcanons

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fishmongeringstudies · 3 years

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the year i turned twenty i stopped waiting for someone to save my life and started eating more vegetables

in the winter of 2018 i got a root canal done on the molar in the upper left-hand corner of my mouth. it had been on the verge of death for a while now; two years prior to that a visiting government-sponsored school dentist had taken a look at it, frowned, and then spent the next two hours wheedling all the rot out of that tiny black hole with a drill. unfortunately the solution he imposed was both extremely painful and temporary, and so two years after the initial incident i found myself once again at the dentist's (this time at a clinic; school dentists don't like to deal with the extra-gritty stuff and are not paid enough to do so). they stuck a needle in my gum, numbed three-quarters of my mouth, then drilled a hole through the center of my tooth and ripped the withering shred of nerve-tissue right out of it.

my dentist helpfully explained all of the above to me during our consultation session in the same office in which he would rip the top half of my tooth off a week later. he was a balding, smiling man whose speech did not, unlike many medical professionals i had met over the years, have an edge of condescension to it. i liked him. i would have liked him more were he not planning to essentially castrated my tooth.

several weeks later i went to another dentist who specialized in helping people in post-root canal limbo, and she stuck a shiny metal crown on what was left of my molar. we then scheduled a series of check-ups to ensure that the crown had not flown off its liege while i attacked an ice cube or something similarly bad for my teeth and mental health, which stretched on for so long that she became, more or less, my primary dental care physician. at first the check-ups were a month apart. then two. time passed. her hair grew longer and our conversations less awkward; she was beautiful and snarky and looked like she would shoot god without hesitation if he stepped into range of her gun. she wore her hair short, red tinged with gold, in a pixie-cut that fell over half of one eye. for a while i thought i was in love with her.

'do you floss?' she asked me on my second check-up.

'no,' i said.

'well.' she broke off a length of dental floss and began to wind it around her fingers. it looked like a death threat and she looked ready to kill, though her eyes were smiling. 'you should.'

for the first year after having an utterly destroyed tooth brought back from the brink of death via a grisly temporary solution that would, at best, buy me one or two decades of peace, i didn't. i didn't floss because when she did it for me in her tiny examination room my gums bled so much it took hours for me to wash the bitter taste of iron out of my mouth. blood is a nice concept and a nicer motif in writing. but it smells awful, and it's worst on the tongue. so i didn't floss my teeth, and i went through life with the kind of casual detached disinterest with which i had approached most things up until then. at my next check-up she asked once again if i had been flossing and i lied that i had. after poking and prodding around in my mouth for a few minutes and taking a scan for good measure she gave me a look and said dryly, 'you haven't been flossing at all, have you.'

disappointing your parents, your favorite high school english teacher, or even your best friend is nothing compared to the sheer embarrassment that comes from knowing your beautiful dentist asked you to do the bare minimum, and you failed to deliver. her voice was arid but we had known each other for long enough by then for me to detect a thin undercurrent of disappointment. i had done it. i had lost the support of the only person in my life who could be counted on to support me. because i paid her for her services. and she was also very funny in a quiet sarcastic way. and she was beautiful.

having had my ego wounded beyond description i resolved to floss from then on and succeeded in dragging my poor aching gums past the bleeding stage to a point where they were merely post-workout sore. then i lost interest and forgot about the white, sterile-smelling clinic that was a fifteen minutes' drive from my house and the little pack of dental floss on the bathroom counter faded into obscurity. two weeks before my next appointment in 2020, an alarm on my phone went off to inform me of the approaching day of judgment. i panicked.

'have you been flossing?' my dentist asked as i lay back in the faded green chair and she put on a pair of new gloves.

'yeah,' i said.

five minutes later, she removed her army of dentistry equipment from my mouth with a satisfied hum. 'i see that you have.' her eyes were smiling. 'your teeth look fine. i'll just clean them a little for you.'

i celebrated impressing my favorite dentistry professional in singapore by forgetting to floss for the next two months. soon after that i got on a plane to america, and then two more for good measure in case i hadn't grown sick of sitting and burning in my own skin already, and then twelve weeks of insanity ensued, the details of which we are surely all acquainted with by now. late nights, walks in the forest, afternoons spent in the sun. mismatched footsteps and strange acquaintances. an elaborate circus act staffed entirely by misguided but well-meaning teenagers. a ring of fire.

two weeks ago i bought a box of dental floss for ninety-nine cents. i think this might be what the anthropologists call 'adulthood'. i was at target with a friend and we were getting toothpaste, which we had both nearly run out of, when i saw the little flat box of dental floss hanging from a hook on the wall. my teeth weren't particularly disgusting (they haven't been, not since i learned how to brush them properly), but they weren't beautiful. it had been a while since i had been on my own mind. for the last three months, others' pain had been my main priority, and now that we had eliminated most of them from the picture, i found myself with more time in the mornings to stare at myself in the mirror and wonder how, exactly, i was doing.

how are you doing? i asked. and the answer was i felt like shit.

while i've stayed in dormitories before for extended periods of time i always got out of doing laundry by either submitting my dirty clothes to an on-campus service which disappeared them into a hole in the fabric of reality and returned them to you a day later, cleaned and folded outside your room so the first time i did laundry by myself in america, a week after arriving on campus, i felt invincible. buying an iced chai from the cafe on a thursday morning and then settling down to work on my laptop until my first class started at noon, i felt like a character in a career advisory ad, like someone who knew where they were going and how they were going to get there. standing in front of the bathroom mirror of my summer dorm, winding a strand of dental floss around my fingers, i felt like i had aged fifteen years in the span of just one, and that just this once, it was for the better.

according to my adult friends, no one ever fully feels or recognizes that they are an adult. adulthood is an ideal that all grown children strive towards the way body-builders aim for more and more muscle mass until there's nothing left of them but a pair of well-toned biceps. there are several industry-approved ways to be an adult, but there are no suggested ways to feel like one. this is part of the gaping maw of inadequacy our generation has fallen into. this afternoon i melted butter in a pan and beat two eggs, milk, salt, and garlic powder together in a bowl. pouring the egg mixture into the pan i began to scrape the edges frantically towards the center with a spatula. the whole process took no longer than two or three minutes. by the end of it my hand was shaking.

according to my adult friends you just wake up one day and start looking for ways to re-organize your pantry and that's when you realize: i'm getting old, aren't i? and i'm getting old, aren't i? twenty's just the start of what a friend recently told me her parents refer to as 'the decade of pain'. but the beginning of something is included in the timeline of its accomplishments, too, and it takes more blind faith to start something than we give ourselves credit for. i have never used a saucepan up until today. in my younger years i often boiled broccoli or cauliflower in a small pot over an electric stove. but the butter, the eggs, the smell of fat sizzling on a pan- this is new to me. this entire life is new to me.

leaving the familiar warmth of your family home, it suddenly occurs to you how fragile life is. how everything your mother has done for you until now has kept you on the path forward, and now you have been given the keys to the basement you have to remember to buy laundry detergent before you run out. it all comes together like this: the humming laundry machines, the hand towels, the fridge full of fruit and cheese. it keeps you alive.

and it's awful. our generation doesn't know what self-care is because we're too busy trying to care for a world which tries, time and again, to kick us off the carousel of life and move on without its ephemeral teenage charges. we are bad at this 'living' thing because we often forget that we are alive at all. look out the window and the world's burning. look into the kitchen, and- quiet. this past year has done nothing to improve the paintings on the wall. we've all known hopelessness. we've all known what it's like to wake up and feel nothing at all.

and yet my flatmate has a new york times cooking subscription that she says we're welcome to borrow if we want to look up a recipe for something like paella, brownies, whatever. the other day she made shrimp scampi and when she knocked on my door and said 'i made food, if you'd like some' i remember thinking living with other people was worth it if you could sit around a table and twirl pasta noodles around your fork in silence. tomorrow i think i'll go to target again and see if i can find more acai. i miss it. i miss singapore's overpriced acai places and their stupid too-high chairs.

and i am living life clumsily, but who cares? a life is a life; all you have to do is live it. the rest can come later, after the dust has settled on the windowsill.

06.09.21

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thehavenwake · 1 year

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anauthore · 4 years

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Escape From Halloweentown {Jack Skellington x Reader}

Summary: When a game of hide-and-seek goes wrong, you find yourself lost in the woods without a way home. Whether it be fate, or just dumb luck, you suddenly find yourself in a far bigger predicament than you ever thought you would be- and it's not just because you can't seem to find your little brother.

**Pairing: **Reader / Jack Skellington. A very slow burn fic.

NOTE: This is a full-length fanfic! If you don’t want to read chapter by chapter on tumblr, please use the following links to read in a different format / on a different website!

Wattpad | Quotev | AO3

Fic Below the Cut | Next Chapter

~PROLOGUE~

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse…

Except it wasn’t Christmas, or anywhere close. Instead, you recited the familiar rhyme to your little brother for what felt like the thousandth time. Despite it being extremely out-of-season, this is the only bedtime story he would fall asleep to, and if it wasn’t A Visit from St. Nicholas, then it was out of the question. You knew almost every word by heart, barely glancing at the pages and instead opting to check every so often to see if your little brother had fallen asleep yet. You could tell he was struggling to keep his eyes open, and even though he was on the verge of being whisked away to dreamland, he still held on to every last word.

“...happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night.”

You whispered the finishing line and just like that, his quiet snore filled the room. You gently closed the book and sat it in the nook on the shelf that it came from. You tiptoed away as silently as possible, leaving his dinosaur night-light on and shutting the door before you let out a breath you’d been holding to avoid making any unnecessary noise.

You walked down the carpeted hallway toward your kitchen, opening the fridge and searching the mostly-empty shelves for something- anything- to eat. You settled on a half-eaten container of hummus and some crackers that had been left out on the counter for God knows how long.

You were 17, almost 18, jobless and living in an apartment with your father and little brother. He worked long days, barely ever home to spend time with his kids in order to support them. Despite feeling lonely most of the time, you appreciated it immensely because, in the end, it was WAY more than your mother ever did. Your apartment was what real estate agents tend to call “cozy”; nestled in between the edge of a good-sized city and a large expanse of unkempt forest, you often prowled around outside to be completely alone with your thoughts.

The night was bitterly cold, the outside air seeping in from the walls and up from the floor, causing you to shiver and wrap your jacket closer around your body. The house had no heating; your family relied on warm clothes and fluffy blankets to keep comfortable during the winter, and fans and cold showers to stay cool during the summer. Sometimes, you did wish that you lived with your mom, although you always felt guilty for thinking that. To leave your brother, your father… all for what? Central air and heat? A full fridge? You knew the price you’d have to pay, along with the weight of your betrayal, would be more unbearable mental abuse.

You shook off the idea, throwing your scraps away and entering your bedroom. It was smaller than your brother’s room, and way less decorated, however it was yours. You slipped under the covers and curled up, pulling your knees to your chest and shivering for a while before your body heat became equally distributed and warmed you, lulling you into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

You hadn’t realized you were awake, but you suddenly were. Your eyes were well adjusted to the darkness of your room by now, so you could make out the dark shapes of the furniture and walls surrounding you. Outside your window, you could see the deep blue sky, a star or two bright enough to outshine the streetlights planted on the side of the road. You rolled over, stretching, and got comfortable once more before you slowly fell asleep again, only this time, your sleep wasn’t as dreamless.

You woke once more, the same dark sky you saw from your window now consuming everything around you. There was a myriad of stars above your head, brighter than you’ve ever seen them before. A canopy of leaves swayed back and forth in an invisible breeze, seeming to beckon you further, deeper, into this unknown forest. The ground beneath you lurched forward, your legs moving as if they had a mind of their own. You felt evanescent; every atom within you buzzed with energy but at the same time, you were almost completely numb to the world around you.

Further down the path swirled shiny, white flakes, the delicate crystalline designs somehow able to be seen by your human eye. They called to you, whipping your strands wildly about as the chill got worse, the hair standing on end across your arms and neck.

A voice… a small yip- or yowl- penetrated the sound of the air flying across your ears. A dog? Or maybe something more dangerous… a wolf maybe? No, you reasoned, it would have to be a coyote. You walked farther into the storm, squinting and shielding your eyes against the cold when all at once the sky lit up as if the sun had risen: An almost unbearable baby blue tainted everything in shadow, and then-

You opened your eyes, your vision slowly unclouding to reveal the plain walls of your room, your hands gripping the blankets you'd covered yourself with as you felt your body jerk upon impulse. Your heart beat fast and loud in your ears, sensing danger, yet, as always, there was none.

* * *

School was a drag. The hours kept getting longer and longer, the gloomy overcast sky not exactly helping with the problem. You kept zoning out while teachers were talking, your lids bobbing up and down until something startled you or a classmate noticed and shook you awake again. You hadn’t been getting the best night’s sleep, though you tried not to stay up late and follow the advice almost everyone’s parents gave to them:

Stay off your phone. Avoid bright lights. Go to bed early. Do something tiring before bed.

Hell, you’d even tried drinking warm milk! Nothing seemed to be keeping those odd dreams at bay, and every night you’d wake up with your heart hammering in your chest as if you’d just ran a marathon.

Your friends didn’t seem to notice that anything was wrong, and if they did, they didn’t say anything, so you didn’t bother to mention your trouble sleeping. They talked to you and carried on as normal, commenting on the upcoming tests and unfairly long homework sheets given to everyone.

“C’mon, it’s our senior year, AND fall break is almost here! It’s ridiculous that teachers are just loading us up with homework”.

“Well,” chimed in your other friend, walking beside you as Rebecca led the both of you, “senior year is supposed to be difficult. We’re going to college next year, did you forget?”

Rebecca rolled her eyes and continued walking while Hailey laughed, shaking her head at the group’s antics. You smiled, but kept quiet, following the other two outside through the heavy metal doors into the school’s student-filled campus.

All around you people swarmed into untidy lines. They rushed to busses, ran to the parking lot, or sat idly by at the front of the school. You waved farewell before you parted from the now-duo and climbed aboard your bus, barely registering the ride home. From there you shivered in the mild breeze, waiting for your little brother to step off of a similar-yet-different yellow transport.

When he saw you, he grinned widely, trotting toward you as his bag swang side-to-side.

“(Y/n)!”

He barreled into you, wrapping his small arms around your waist before you pried him off and let him run up into your apartment.

“What was that all about? Did something happen today?”

Thomas shook his head, throwing his backpack down in your living room with the rest of the mess that lay there. “I just felt like hugging you.”

You mouthed an, ‘oh, okay’ before beginning to head down the hall to your room, but, not to your surprise, you found Thomas bouncing up and down behind you with each step as he repeatedly said your name.

“What?” you replied, used to his antics by now.

“Can we puh-leaasee play outside? Please please please!” He begged, throwing his body around the hallway in a dramatic, childlike fashion. You humoured him and sighed, the edges of your mouth threatening to turn upward into the hints of a smile.

“Fine. We can’t be outside for too long though, I have stuff to do.”

“Why not-?”

“Because I said so. We play a little bit now, or not at all.”

He huffed and mumbled an ‘okay’ before practically flying down the stairs and out the door, leaving you in the dust as you halfheartedly ran after him. Once you reached the edge of your building’s property, you glanced around, waiting for Thomas to suggest a game for you both to play for a while.

He asked if you would play hide-and-seek with him, but before you could agree, he asked something somewhat… dangerous… for an elementary school student.

“-but let’s play in the woods! C’mon, it’ll be fun, I promise!”

You mulled the idea over before complying to him- not because you were a good older sister, oh no, it was because he was incessantly tugging on the hem of your shirt and hanging off of your sleeves until your top threatened to come off.

“Okay, okay! But we can’t go far into the woods, it’s not safe.” You pointed to a mangled trunk in the distance. “You can’t go past that tree back there, alright? And no cheating.”

He nodded furiously and let go of you. You could tell he was just excited to be outside with someone other than the neighbouring kids. You couldn’t really blame him- the neighbours raised their children to be socially awkward and unable to chime in or have an imagination. In Thomas’ words, they were ‘boring’.

You turned around, facing away from the tree-line and started counting down from ten. You gave your brother some extra time to hide- after all, he was up against you, his eight-teen-year-old sister. You finished counting and yelled the famous “ready or not, here I come!” line before you began to search for his bright orange parka and shaggy (hair colour) hair.

You trekked into the forest, the leaves and twigs crunching underneath your feet as you looked back and forth for Thomas. Minutes passed, and you started to get concerned about the lack of his presence in the designated play area. He couldn’t have gone very far, being nine and of small physical stature. Still, you called out his name, warning him that he would be breaking the rules if he passed the barrier you’d set before the game started. There was no response, and you sighed, pressing on.

“Thomas! This isn’t funny, you cheater!”

You checked your phone- twenty minutes since the game had started and there was no sign of him. He couldn’t have gone far, but that didn’t stop you from worrying. You called out for him again, louder and more frantic this time.

“Seriously, we need to go back!” You paused for a moment before bribing him; “I’ll make you some cookies! Just come here!”

Thirty-five minutes. You had circled around, thinking maybe he didn’t go that deep into the woods, but he was definitely nowhere in the shallows of the tree-line. Your pulse sped up and you thought of your dad coming home to only you and the police- a search party crossed your mind, as well as the guilt you’d feel if you didn’t find him. Your mind ran a thousand miles an hour, trying to focus on the orange parka. Orange parka, orange parka, orange parka, orange… Orange!

There, in the distance, just past the twisted trunk of the tree you’d set as the barrier was a flash of orange and the tell-tale snap of twigs under someone’s quick, evading footfalls.

“Thomas, stop running! Get back here, now!”

You broke out into a sprint, dodging thick trunks and gnarled vines, following the orange parka that somehow kept getting farther away from you. You breathed hard, and despite wanting to stop and catch your breath, you pushed forward.

“Thomas! Thomas, plea- Ugh!”

Your shoe caught a root hidden underneath the entangled blades of grass and you lurched forward, catching yourself on your hands and your knee. You scrambled back up, limping a few paces before you wiped the damp dirt onto your pants and sighed in frustration. Somewhere in the distance, you heard the distinct giggle of your little brother. You called out again, but to no avail.

You had half a mind to just go home, but when you looked behind you, all you could see was trees. You checked the time. It’s been an hour since the start of the game, which was supposed to be fun, yet the stress of it all coupled with your sleep deprivation exhausted you.

Your pace was slower than it had been before, the overcast sky darkening as time stretched on. You didn’t see Thomas anymore, nor could you find your way back to the apartment’s property. You had been running in a straight line, hadn’t you? You didn’t recognize anything when you turned around, nor did you when you walked back.

You tried different directions, but again, it was useless. You hated to think about it, but you were lost.

You checked the time again, unlocking your cell to send an emergency message to your neighbour detailing your time in the woods looking for your brother and asking if he knew the way back home. Your phone buzzed almost immediately, however not with a message you’d wanted to receive.

Message failed to send. Will try again when service becomes available.

You cursed under your breath. No service, huh? That was great.

You couldn’t just stay here. If you picked a direction and just walked in it, you’d eventually find a way out, right? The theory was sound enough, and so, without hesitation, you began to walk.

Soon enough, the trees started to thin, exposing a well-traveled path bare of grass and debris. A wave of relief washed over you, and you quickened your step. The brown of the earth beneath you became exposed as you reached a small clearing surrounded by a circle of trees with what looked like doors plastered on the front of each one.

...Doors? You furrowed a brow, confused as all hell. You stood in the center of the clearing, and sure enough, seven trees stretched into the sky with seven differently-decorated doors facing you in the center, gleaming golden knobs and all.

Despite your utter confusion, you drew closer to the tree nearest to you, running your fingertips over the carvings and delicate handiwork of the unmistakable Christmas tree. You reached for the knob, thinking maybe it would turn and reveal a secret hiding place or- or something, but the knob didn’t budge a single centimeter. You tried again, in a different direction, but the attempt yielded the same result as before.

You walked to the next tree over, and the next from that one, and the next from that one, trying each of the doors only for them to all stay stoic and unmoving. You still admired the craftsmanship and time put into the designs, regardless of whether or not they were completely functional, settling in front of the Halloween-themed tree and idly feeling the divots in the pumpkin’s eyes and mouth.

The sun started to set, casting a very orange glow on you and the circle of trunks. The rays shone particularly bright on your back, and while the warmth was welcome, you stepped out of the way to gaze upon the carrot-coloured sky. After all, it looked like you were spending the night here.

The beams focused on the knob, the warm light reflecting all around you in an intense glow almost as strong as the sun itself. Golden flecks danced around your vision; there was something so beautiful about the refracted light that drew you closer, distracting you as your digits reached out and played with the shadows they made on the knob. Your fingers barely brushed against the golden sphere, the warmth filtering through your skin and pouring into the rest of your body without any semblance of notice, shocking your system. You pulled your hand away out of impulse, as if you’d been burned.

Your eyes didn’t leave the door, nor the knob, and although you hadn’t turned it- only touched it- it swung open, beckoning you, calling you.

And exactly who were you to refuse such a warm invitation?

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arbitraryloveright · 4 years

Text

The Study of You

[Summary; Luke is a war hero, but Leia won't let him throw the rest of his life away. Forcing him to get his graduate degree he meets the mysterious man that's been appearing to him in his dreams. He's stirring up Luke's connection to the force that broke when Anakin came back to the light. The twins do some investigating, and Luke may accidentally fall in love with the cute nerdy literature professor, while he starts unveiling lies from every side.] Ch 1-8/15 can be found on my ao3 account @/CharlieDoesIt

Chapter One: Professor Djarin

A voice soft and deep pulled him. "I will figure out a way to get us out of here." He spoke. He felt sand and cool droplets of water that tasted like salt. A hand was in his own, a glove covered the warm skin. "Go, love." He felt himself say. He felt the hand slip out of his grip in its wake all he felt was cold.

---

When Luke woke from the dream his heart was raced. He grabbed at his bed to ground himself. The window above his bed allowed for sunlight to cast in, its blue tint took over space. He had dreamt of the man so often he'd begun to lose count. He half hoped it was because his connection to the force would come back, but he knew better than to get his hopes up.

He did a fairly good job to convince himself that he didn’t need it anymore. There wasn’t a need for force users when times were peaceful. The war was over for now, and Leia Organa wasn’t about to allow his life to go by. She forced him to finish school, and even then, the condition was he do it on Yavin. Luckily for him, it was one of the most beautiful planets he had ever seen.

All the greenery would have set the force on fire, hell without it Luke's body felt lifted. It wasn’t anything like Tatooine. Leia’s house was also only about a mile from the school. Luke was threatened into staying with her and Han, so he had no choice but to feel embarrassed about his lack of independence.

There was a knock on his door and then a shout to get up. “I don’t even have class today,” he groaned at her relentlessness. He threw off his comforter and walked towards the door.

“Yeah, you do,” she said her voice muffled by the door, “you have biogeochemistry today at two so we should get going at around 12.”

He swung the door open to see Leia’s smug smile. “How,” he threw his hands out. “How do you even know that?”

She shrugged, “I’m the dean,” and made her way towards the kitchen.

“That’s illegal you know,” he shouted as she turned a corner out from his line of sight.

He hit his head against the door frame, he might as well get ready for the day.

How was it barely Tuesday? His head leaned on the glass of her car window as he watched the forest pass by, he thought how much he wanted the week to be over already. He’d graduated with a Bachelor's degree why had that not been enough for his sister or even Han? Not to mention the fact that he was also a fully-fledged Jedi Knight.

Half a mile into their drive the car somewhere on the street in front of them backfired. The sound boomed in Luke's ears. It was like a flash had gone off in his mind. His heart raced, and his mind blanked out. He heaved. It felt like he was dying, and all he could see were lasers from Tie Fighters that missed him by a centimeter.

He felt a hand on his shoulder soft and present while everything else fell around him. It wasn’t enough. The world threatened to close in on him, and he was powerless against it.

When he came to, the car wasn’t moving. He was on the floor of the car, his knees pushed up against his chest, and his face was wet with tears. “Luke?” Leia whispered, scared to break him further. He sat up and forced himself to keep still, his body resisted and shook. He pulled his seat belt on and took deep breaths.

“This didn’t happen,” he whispered. It was mostly to himself until his sister opened her mouth to speak when he repeated the statement. He looked at her and used more force in his voice. She nodded resigned to do whatever her brother needed.

The after-effects of his little episode had caught up to him, once they’d reached that campus. He was drained. Somehow, he only had enough energy to make it into his sister's office and collapse onto her couch.

He woke up later than he meant to, the sun bright in his eyes. He twisted his wrist and looked at his watch. It was ten minutes to five, and his sister was nowhere to be found. He rubbed his eyes, and he didn’t realize that someone had walked in. “Hey Organa, did you…” his voice was deep and soft at the same time. Luke sat up and made eye contact with the man at the door. “You’re not Leia.”

Luke’s voice was still rough from when he slept, “Neither are you,” Luke said. His heart dropped down to his stomach when he fully took him in. His navy tie and black shirt perfectly matched the man he’d saw in his dreams. Right down to the mustache and boxy glasses. “Do you make a habit of barging into offices?”

“She usually lets me...” Before he could continue, he heard Leia's voice distantly as she apologized somewhere out in the hallway. As she walked into her room to turn in the light, she looked between the two men.

She tried to bury her worry in a typical motherly fashion. “I didn’t realize you were still in here.” Luke didn’t even need the force to see right through her facade.

“I accidentally slept in,” he sighed and smoothed over his shirt.

The intruder was still stood awkwardly off to the side. She set her bag down, as she motioned for the man to take a seat at one of the chairs in front of her desk. “Luke, this is Din Djarin head of the undergraduate Basics department.” He pushed his glasses up and put his bag beside him. He was kind of cute, but then again, he’d had months of intrusive dreams.

“Din, this is Luke Skywalker...my twin brother.” The man’s, Din’s eyes widened slightly, but he made no move to congratulate the war hero.

Before Luke could internally argue against it, his hands had pushed him off the couch. He asked if he could talk to Leia in the hallway. She closed the door tenderly behind them. “How are you?” She asked like she’d held it this whole time.

“Fine,” he said as he dodged the question, “I don’t want a strong reaction for what I’m about to say, because I still don’t exactly know what this means. So I just need you to stay calm.”

She nodded and straightened her posture as if she was bracing for a blow. “Have you ever shown me a picture of the man in your office, or do you think we’ve ever crossed paths?” She shook her head. “I’ve been seeing him in my dreams for the past couple of months.”

Her mouth twitched, it was the only sign of a reaction and besides that, she did very well to not react. “Does that mean that your connection is back?” He shook his head and she nodded again as she took it all in. “Okay, um, how about we do not get too disappointed or excited, we’ll keep monitoring it to see what happens.”

She looked up at him, a worried sparkle in her eyes gleamed. Luke knew what that meant and started to get nervous. He always knew his sister was capable of fearful acts. She shoved open the door. “Professor Djarin! Have you gotten a TA yet?” She smiled stiffly.

Din sat up, startled by the sudden intrusion. “Oh uh not yet.”

She clasped Luke’s shoulder. “Din’s TA dropped out and then disappeared to the outer rim, can you believe that?”

She sat in her chair and clapped her hands together. “Would you look at that I just found you the perfect candidate!”

#dinluke #the mandalorian #fanfic #universityau #but kind of not

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lovingleehaechan · 4 years

Text

I adore you. - Jung Jaehyun (Part II)

genre: fluff, angst(?)

word count: 1.6k

warnings: curse words

a/n: why hello there... long time no post T-T i know, it’s been too long since this awaited update but i’m back to writing now! it’s been a busy couple of months and i haven’t had time to sit back and actually enjoy writing without getting so stressed :( i hope this update is enough to fill the void for now. but for sure after this one, it’ll pick up. do you think y/n and jaehyun will have a happy ending? or will it end in an oof situation? stay tuned my loves!

with all my love, summer x

It’s December, everyone knows what that means, exam season. Though it’s the end of semester, Jaehyun’s stress levels were through the roof. He hasn’t felt like this in a long while, unprepared and panicked over the little exams he has. In order to ease his worries, he motivates himself to go to the library and make an attempt to get something done. He can’t stand sitting on his living room couch, aimlessly scrolling through his phone while simultaneously searching for a movie to watch.

Procrastination is and always will be a bitch but hey, at least he got himself out of the house. Even if it was just for a cup of coffee and a couple of minutes of looking at his notes. He sighs as he catches sight of the grey and miserable building in his campus. How he dreads staring at the old and ancient site. Jaehyun exhales another breath and gets himself mentally prepared for what is about to come.

“Death and a breakdown,” his mind answers.

As expected, the library was full of students also trying to study for their exams. Some caught with panic in their eyes while they read through their notes quickly and a few with their hands on their heads, seeking comfort from what was an oncoming breakdown. Though it was a huge building with many spots to sit and settle down with books, laptops and notes, Jaehyun always preferred the third floor, where there was a hidden bunch of tables caught in the middle of a forest of books. Not a lot of people knew of this particular spot, the only ones who knew about it were you and a couple of other friends.

What he didn’t expect is to see you there with your earphones on, highlighter in hand, studying. He’s momentarily distracted by your calm appearance. Jaehyun never thought that someone could look so gorgeous just by being focused. Your eyebrows are furrowed and your head slowly moves in time with the music you’re listening to.

His heart sighs again.

His breath caught.

And his long legs lead him to where you are.

Without realising, he taps your shoulder.

You turn your head slowly, reluctant to look up from the notes you just wrote. Catching sight of Jaehyun you smile with your eyes.

“Oh hey,” you say as you take one earphone out.

“You didn’t tell me you were in the library today.” he blurts.

“Yeah, I legged it out this morning and forgot to ask if you wanted to come. You know how it is during exam season.” you explain to him in a hushed voice.

Jaehyun nods, and sets himself down at the empty seat next to you. He takes out his notes, laptop and pencil case. All ready to get himself stuck at all the information he needs to learn for the coming week.

As he gets himself setted, it only causes you to watch him as he goes about his unknowing routine whenever he’s in the library. You smile slightly, and a light chuckle comes out of your mouth. Jaehyun, busy getting himself together, didn't notice.

He sits himself down on the chair next to you with a highlighter in his mouth and a furrowed eyebrow looking at his books. He had no idea how the fuck he was going to get all this information in his head for his exam that was two days from now. You on the other hand, went back to studying soon after you saw Jaehyun settle down. It only took a couple of minutes to get your head back into focus and immediately forgetting that your friend was there in the first place.

A couple of hours, maybe three or two, you sigh deeply. Jaehyun had heard it over the music he was listening to. He looks over to you with a questioning look.

You mouth, “I need a break.” and a smile breaks out from your face.

He smiles with you, “me too,” he gestures with his fingers.

Using your hands, you point out towards the exit, quickly followed by a gesture that indicated you wanted to eat too.

Jaehyun nods in agreement but you decide to leave your things there as the both of you would only be gone for an hour.

Or so you thought.

Jaehyun didn’t realise how much he loved to spend time with you. Having a simple meal with you at the nearest convenience store is enough to have him smiling for the rest of the night.

Your plan only consisted of having a quick meal and a brief walk around the library. But no, here you were, lying down on the couches situated in the lobby of some random building in the campus.

“Hmm… law building.” Jaehyun voices.

“What?” you say, as you give your best attempt to look at him, too comfortable to get up properly.

“I think we’re in the law building-”

“I honestly can’t give two shits right now. I’m in procrastination mode. Let’s not disturb my unsettled peace.” you interrupt, rolling your eyes.

Jaehyun chuckles once more for the nth time that day.

“Why is it that when exam season rolls around, I’m just so stressed to the point where nothing can ease my worries and anxiety.” you suddenly voice your thoughts out loud.

“Maybe it’s because you’re scared of failing. I know how high your standards are of yourself. Sometimes they’re unrealistic but they kinda make sense. I mean, I’m the same too.” Jaehyun sighs, exhaustion finally catching up to him.

You stay silent for a minute, or five.

“I can’t help it. That’s just me.” you start slowly.

He says nothing, only nodding to encourage you to keep going.

“I mean okay, a lot of it mostly has to do with how I see myself. I want to do well but I can never reach that place where I want to be… Yes it’s just exams but I like feeling proud of myself. I like seeing those grades that I worked hard for. But the thing is, I’m also… how do I say it. I’m only motivated when someone is there with me. Company, that’s all I need to keep myself going.”

He stares at you. Nothing again.

“But not everyone can give you that company,” Jaehyun states. “Not everyone understands.”

Just like that he knew. He knew exactly what you were saying and that was all you needed. That was what both of you needed. Though there was clearly a deeper meaning to the reason, Jaehyun didn’t pry.

He’s patient like that, he waits for you to come to him. Just like everything else in your friendship.

It's your turn to sigh, closing your eyes.

“Exactly,”

He gives you a small smile.

“Not even my own boyfriend can give me that anymore…” you finish.

Jaehyun’s voice is caught in his throat.

Did you really just say that out loud? After all this time, all those moments you shared with your boyfriend, Jaehyun was the first person you told. He saw how you were like in the beginning of your relationship.

Happy, wrapped around each other's fingers, and not to mention you spent every waking moment with him whenever you got the chance. What changed he wondered.

He didn’t know, but you were also asking yourself the same question. “Where did it all change? When did it change?”

Taking note of your furrowed eyebrows, he made the decision to change the topic.

“So, any plans after the exams?” keeping the topic light, despite the heavy feeling you both felt.

“I’m not sure yet. I wanted to check out some of the Christmas markets around the city. I still need to get a few presents for my family and Doyoung and his family too.”

“Isn’t that your entire family then?” he chuckles.

Your eyes widen in shock which makes you sit up from your earlier position. “Fuck. You’re right.” You palm your face in distress, “ugh no.”

He laughs a little louder, patting your head to comfort you.

“Stop it you’re not making this any better.” panic starting to rise on your face.

“Don’t forget mine too.” he teases, grinning at you widely.

“Shut up idiot, I already got yours.” you say, getting back to your mental list quickly after replying.

This caught Jaehyun off guard once more. His heart did a little jump again. Dammit, how can a simple sentence from you have that kind of effect on him.

“Now I’m stressed. Fuck you bro.” you tell him after finishing your mental list.

“I can always help you shop, you know. I’m quite good with buying presents.” he suggests.

“Maybe that can work. It’ll lessen my stress levels. Well either lessen them or add to them, really depending on what you’re like on the day.” you chuckle.

He opens his mouth to say something, takes a deep breath to reply something smart but he stops and nods as he says, “yeah you’re right.”

You both laugh out loud, relieving some sort of stress from studying all morning.

“Should we head back?” you ask, looking to your side.

“We haven’t gotten anything to eat yet.” he points out the obvious with a look.

“Stop it, don’t look at me like I’m dumb.”

He rolls his eyes.

“You of all people know that Jae. Don’t start.”

Jaehyun smiles widely.

“Oh no here it comes.”

You put your head in your hands.

“I- of all people know just how dumb you really are y/n.” he starts laughing louder, making the people passing by stare at him weirdly.

You sigh, “I just knew you were going to say that.” smiling unknowingly.

“Dude stop.”

But he couldn’t, he loved to tease you like that.

He loved doing everything with you.

Oh what life would be like if he was able to kiss the living daylights out of you.

He’d be complete.

He wouldn’t need anything else.

Just you.

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solipseismic · 3 years

Note

hey! :)

hey !!! :)

send me a hey and i'll give u a 10-song playlist :)

1. plug me in - lil soda boi

i wannabe a 3d ghost in your dream / the smell of burning flesh and sweat and chlorine / i feel like heavy eyes and drugs and smokescreens / i feel like telling lies and love and morphine

2. perth - bon iver

in a mother, out a moth / furling forests for the soft

3. die young - sylvan esso

oh, i don't mind / i got the fire, electric light

4. lost cause// - grandson, kennyhoopla

you're just a lost cause / she said / i know how people like you end up

5. i heard you had a girlfriend - dbmk

i hear you even when the song ends / gluing me together every time that my world ends

6. boys - hippo campus

kissing boys, missing work / got hungover from your words / same new york, it's the worst / all these nights are a blur

7. don't wake me, i'm still dreaming - twin xl

all the time, all the love i wasted / all the bars and the blurred-out faces

8. drag me - tiny little houses

i took my shirt off in the yard, my shoulders were no longer golden

9. calcium - ecco2k

hydrogen peroxide, lime and ice / lost my shine, i star and cross my eyes / silver lights, i let it oxidize

10. stray italian greyhound - vienna teng

what do i do, do i do with a love that won't, that won't sit still? / won't do what it's told / what do i do, do i do with a love that won't sit still? / everything that i am, everything that i am

#thank u for the ask !!#asks #asks get answered #yet more twin xl and dbmk ....

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peachyteabuck · 5 years

Text

study buddy, part v

series summary: after crushing on you since freshman orientation, Natasha finally gets the guts to ask you help you pass her postmodern lit midterm, to which you agree.

chapter summary: one restaurant date, two confessions, and three grades that will make or break natasha’s degree

pairing: natasha romanoff x reader

words: 4,881

trigger warnings: overstimulation, use of a safe word, teeth rotting fluff, strap on sex, ball gags, explicit conversations about whorephobia, orgasm control, angst if you squint

ask box / masterlist / commission info / ko-fi

part one, part two, part three, part four

The warmth of the sun filtered through blinds is what woke you, wrapped tight in Natasha’s arms. The sex-stained blankets were as messy as can be, some of them hugged your intertwined bodies like a tightly wrapped burrito while others were nearly falling off the bed.

It was messy, beautifully and wonderfully so. If you felt the need to move (which, of course you didn’t because who in their right mind would try to disentangle themselves from such a lovely human person) you doubt you could’ve; Natasha held you with arms too strong and heart beat too soft. You wouldn’t dare disturb her if the house was on fire; then again, if the world was burning down around you – you’d rather die in her arms than reach for uncertain safety. It’s there that you fell back into sleep, tucked under her chin and running your fingers through her hair.

Eventually the growling of your stomachs woke the both of you up, each respective organ desperate for nourishment – and the two hard-boiled eggs, sour gummy worms, gluten-free bread, and half a container of mustard wasn’t gonna cut it. The waning sun was an ominous sign of how long you’d truly gone without food, and you soon didn’t feel all that bad about poking your poor g-

Poking poor Natasha awake.

You didn’t feel all that bad poking Natasha awake as your insides beg for sustenance and your head feels light and holy shit, if you didn’t eat right then you were going to start taking bites out of her – and, for the first time, not in a fun and/or sexy way.

“Hey,” you pressed your forefinger to her nose. “Nat.” You poked the end of each eyebrow, then at various locations of her forehead. “Natasha!” Still, she remained asleep, and buried herself further into the blankets as some unconscious act of survival. “Nat.” You poked her right cheek. “Naat.” You poked her left cheek. “Naaat.” You poked each cheek with each hand at its softest part, pushing until you felt her teeth. “Nat wake uuup.”

She just grunted and pushed you away before she nuzzled back into the covers. “Go away. I want to die here. Let me become a body without organs.”

She paused.

“Or is it organs without bodies?”

You sighed but make no move to displace her. “One, Natasha, we have the midterm coming out soon. If you do not know the original work done by two far left authors from the sarcastic critique by another far left author, I’m breaking up with you. Two, that’s not what that means and you making a vague reference to some postmodern concept does not mean I am going to stop being annoying. Three, would you like to come get dinner with me?”

Natasha shot up, flame-red hair messy and shirt disheveled – it made her look like the top of of a thicket of trees during a forest fire. Along the side of her face, you could see indentations from where her skin was pressed to the pillowcase. “Food?”

You nodded, pushing the strands from her eyes. “Yes, darling, food.”

She wiped at her face and pushed the covers from her legs, eyes half-closed. “Food.”

You picked some of the crust from the corner of her eyes. She blinked indignantly at you but made no move to stop you. “Do you care where we go?”

Natasha shook her head left-to-right silently, then moved to wipe her face once more.

“Okay. There is a very good Chinese place that I want to show you. Is that okay with you?”

Natasha nodded and made a mmhmm noise.

“Cool.”

You kissed the tip of her nose before you got up and scrounged together a passable outfit that would cover the bruises that still littered your body and shield you from the cold. After a few moments, Natasha opened her eyes wide enough to see a few feet in front of her and did the same.

There was s a wonderful silence that filled the air, the comfortable kind. Like the day of that quiz, it’s a wonderful kind of cozy – soothing and sweet.

You could get used to this…

It was a short walk to the restaurant, one you were all-too familiar with due to your many, many nights there. It was the first place you ate at on campus (that wasn’t one of the mind-numbingly mediocre cafeterias) the day you moved in and it had become some pseudo-home, the place always warm and waitstaff always nice (and always willing to let you eat as much as you pay for and abuse their free WiFi).

The menu hadn’t changed much (by “much,” you mean they’ve fixed two of the five typos) since you first started going there, so you should have already known what you want. Still, you opened the folded, laminated paper and read each item with genuine interest, just as Natasha did.

You looked up at her once and awhile just to see her again. Every time you tried to keep her out of your line or sight for more than a few seconds you’d almost burst at the seams, like a sunburst than could only be quelled by looking at her.

“What year are you?” Natasha asked, which broke your unbelievably tender train of thought.

Your brain, which was still very fried, did not compute. “What?”

She reached over to point to the Chinese zodiac calendar on your menu with one of many of her fingers that was inside you last night. “What year are you?”

You mumbled something and shrugged, fake-intense-reading as your neurons attempted to rebuild your capacity for speech. Luckily, Natasha seemed determined to continue the conversation.

“I’m the year of the dog,” she said, nonchalant, as if you were not losing your goddamn mind on the other side of the table. Your brain was fried, your mouth was gaping like a fish out of water, and were your hands shaking? What the fuck were you supposed to say? How should you respond?

Think, you fool! Think!

“There’s a feminist critical theorist who fucks her dog,” you blurted.

Natasha just smiled – god her smile was so big and wide and beautiful - and laughed. “Part of me thinks you’re lying, but part of me worries you’re telling the truth.”

You laughed then, too, smiling big as she did. It set the tone for the rest of the night, mood light and happy as the tired, probably-high waitress took your order and then brought you the food a suspiciously-short amount of time later. It was good, very good.

“And my mom turns to me and she goes,” you wrinkled your noise in an effort to properly invoke your mother’s nasally tone. “This family does not get Fs or Ds or Cs. You better fix this or else.”

Natasha almost choked on her soft drink at your impression. “You were supposed to make an omelet for a foods and nutrition class, what did she want you to do!?”

You took another bite of orange chicken before you rolled your eyes and shrugged. “I have no idea what that woman wants from me now, let alone when I was fuckin’ fourteen.”

You were both laughing as you took food from each other’s plates and swapped small stories. Natasha told you about her own coding mishaps (apparently it was easy to hack into news websites and create fake stories involving certain celebrities and a certain large bird and many, if not too many, phallic objects), you told her about the time you stress-cried in the bathroom so much the janitor kept tissues in a secret compartment for you.

One hand from each of you remained occupied as you held hands on the side of the table farthest from the prying eyes of fellow college students (as if any of them were sober enough to notice, though. Along with being great to you, the restaurant’s very greasy menu meant it was a good spot to quench munchies or quell the pain of an especially bad hangover).

A phone – your phone, you realized – vibrated obnoxiously on the other side of the table. Previously forgotten, you broke from the moment to reengage with the (seemingly) hundreds of people who were attempting reach you via text. At first you thought it’s an email from a client – but then you realized it was a text from a classmate. Specifically, the girl who sat front and center in the lecture hall you and Natasha shared.

“Who’s that?” Natasha asked.

You furrowed your brows as you texted, swallowing the last bit of food. “Oh, Lindsay from our class. She wants to know what I got on the quiz.”

Natasha then realized she never bothered to figure out her grade, and it brought all her anxiety about graduating on time and also making sure you’d never leave her and oh my god what if she failed this fucking quiz?

A few moments of soul-crushing silence passed before you put your phone back down. Natasha watched you like a cat stalking a fake mouse on a string, or a drunk mom at a Christmas party eyeing a dessert table; the drive was genuine, but the goal? Ridiculous. Absolutely, totally ridiculous.

You didn’t press her like she expected, though, didn’t even stare at her with that evil eye Natasha’s sure you got from your mother on more than one occasion. You just went back to eating your food, and put your phone back out of reach.

You noticed her staring at you when you went to borrow (steal) another piece of food from her plate.

“What?”

Natasha furrowed her brow. “Don’t you…Don’t you want to know what I got on the quiz?”

You shook your head as you stole another few bites worth of food. “Not unless you want to tell me.” You shrugged as you swallowed. “I’m not gonna, like, push you if you don’t want to tell me. I’m not my mother.”

Natasha smiled at that and left the conversation there. She was unnaturally quiet for the new few minutes as she listened intently while you told more stories and commented on the food and thought out loud about school and the rest of your life and should you go shopping soon?

Throughout all of it, Natasha remained incommunicative – to the point you started to worry.

“Are you okay?” you asked and reached across the table to put your hand over hers. She smiled, softly, before she replied.

“I really care about you, you know,” she said, low and almost inaudible. You said nothing in return. “And I’m very bad at this. I’m so bad at this. I spent a lot of my childhood in rooms with therapists who said less than I did. I’m not good at,” she waved her hands as she tried to find the right words. “I’m not great at emotions. And expressing them and telling people about them and all that shit. Okay?”

You swallowed the last tastes of duck sauce that coated your back teeth. Despite the sweet substance being a liquid, it felt like a waterfall of boulders cascading inside your throat. “Nat, I-“

“This isn’t me saying I love you, but I want…” Natasha was on the verge of crying, just as you were. She averted your gaze as she continues, staring at the booth cushion directly behind you. “I want to commit to you in some way. I like you, I like the person I am when I’m around you. And I don’t want to lose you because I was too much of a pussy to make a move.”

You said nothing, did nothing. Despite her not looking at you, you stared at her very serious facial expression and watched every muscle twitch for some signs of lying. You saw none.

“I…,” Natasha met your eyes as you spoke. Your mouth was so dry you nearly coughed – but the idea of making any sound terrified you. “I…I need some air.”

You didn’t wait for a reply as you pushed yourself out of the booth and ran out the front entrance.

Natasha didn’t wait for the door to close behind you before she chased after you. She left both of your phones and wallet at the booth, not wanting you to get out of eyeshot but also terrified of the waitstaff thinking the both of you were dine-and-dashers (and terrible ones, at that).

She followed you outside, ache in her heart an excellent distraction from the nighttime chill that dug tiny knives into her pale skin. Still, as her breath was visible in a faint fog in front her, no pain was as unimaginable as the one as losing you.

“Babe, plea-“ began, voice small and nonthreatening as possible.

You interrupted her and avoided looking into her eyes and picked at a loose thread in the sweater you were wearing – Natasha’s sweater you were wearing.

You worried it was the last time you’d ever see her again, and yet you refused to look at her. You refuse dto look at her large eyes and the bags under them, at her nimble hands – thin and agile from years of typing; at her plush lips or beautiful hair or-

Wasn’t that the cruelest irony of all? Of the cognitive dissonant fear of missing something while desperately avoiding looking at it. Still, you chose to jump off the proverbial cliff with your eyes clenched shut and nails digging into the pads of your soft palms and blood rushing in your ears louder than anything you’d ever heard in your life.

“I’m a sex worker.”

Natasha’s eyebrows furrowed and she breathed heavily, like when your mom got mad at you for bringing home that C your freshman year. “There’s-“

“I’m a sex worker. I make my own porn. I sell my nudes. It’s my main,” you sighed. “It’s my only source of income. It’s how I make money. It is how I will continue to make money. It’s how I stay mostly-independent from my very judgmental mother. It’s how I plan on staying mostly-independent from my very judgmental mother and my very judgmental family and the very judgmental world. And if you think that’s morally wrong of whatever, or that I’m some sort of sub-human, or that I’m evil, or that I should stop…”

For the first time that night, you looked her straight in the eyes. No smiling, no laughing, no wishing to see her beautiful face. Power. Authority. Truth. You tried to channel the red you saw on all those feminist theory books you’d had to read for the class that brought you and Natasha together.

“If you don’t believe in the validity of my labor I cannot and will not date you,” you were snarling as you stomped toward her until your toes nearly touched. “I’m not going to let someone who can’t love what I do love me.”

As you stood there, teeth bared and hands balled into fists, stories of rage flashed like lightning in your brain. Narratives of horror from your media studies class, of actresses whose only chance to scream was in front of a camera. If you had sharper nails, sharper teeth, glowing eyes that would be some award-winning monologue where people clap and call it “mind-blowing” and give it “five out of five stars.” You’d be a prime example of how satisfying rage can be as a subversive practice.

But no. You were no antihero(ine), no supernatural being caught on tape. You were not on the silver screen, you were not being streamed on some overpriced platform, you were not the subject of dissertations on media studies or really good articles on feminism or whatever else academics were doing with their time in tenure. You had filed-down nails and wide eyes and soft skin and an uneasy stomach and shaking hands and breath that faintly showed in the air when you exhaled. You had tears that threatened to fall. You had fear.

Natasha’s eyes flitted nervously, her lip between her teeth. For a moment, neither of you said anything.

Natasha was the one to speak first. Her voice sounded as terrified as you felt – with words that were spat through a set jaw and teeth bared.

“Who hurt you?”

You took a half-step back, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “What? Natasha, what the fuck are y-“

“Who hurt you?” she whispered, words like knives and eyes just as dangerous. You stepped back, almost scared of her and what she could do to you.

You were pressed against the side of the building then – you could feel the brick and mortar itching at the skin of your back through your top. “Natasha what the hell are you talking about? I don’t kn-“

“Yes,” she stepped back, but grasped at your left hand as she did so. She was a ship tethering to a dock, floating out on the water but always willing to come back to port. “Yes, you do. You know exactly who, what, I’m talking about. What they did. Just tell me who they are, and I’ll ruin their lives.”

You looked for the joke, the punchline. You looked for a glint in her eye that said she was fucking with you and was waiting for you to laugh it off. When you were in seventh grade you got asked out as a joke and the football player made the exact same facial expression you now hunt for.

But you found nothing, no teasing or set up in a larger scheme to mock you. She was serious as you’d ever seen anyone be. “What in the fuck-“

“Tell me who they are. Tell me the name of every person who ever made you feel like shit and I’ll ruin their lives. I’ll steal their identity. I’ll make it so they can never get a job, or a car, or a house again. I’ll do it in a heartbeat,” Natasha let go of your hand and held your face in her food-warm palms. “I will destroy the very existence of every person who ever made you feel like this, because you deserve someone who will protect you from all that bullshit. And I want to be that person.”

The silence was painful, almost. But also comforting. Still, you broke it so speak. “Yes, I’ll be your girlfriend.”

Natasha smiled, and pecked your lips. “Good. Now come finish my food with me, it’s getting cold and our waitress is definitely judging us.”

You broke into a fit of laughter, nearly wheezing as she guided you back inside. The food was good, even though it had cooled considerably while you were both outside – greasy and thick with flavor and hot in your mouth along with your soul and Natasha held your hand on the table and fed you with her fork and you stole bits of her food while she was distracted. At one point, Lizzo played on the restaurant soundtrack and Natasha sung low with you, and you ordered more food to take home and it was hot, too hot in your hands as you carried the large brown paper bag soaked with grease to her apartment. Maybe you were going eat the food in the morning, maybe you were going eat it later tonight. It, truly, did not really matter.

There wasn’t much time between when you put the leftovers in the fridge and when Natasha pushed you onto your knees in her (and your) (it was now shared) bedroom. There also wasn’t much time between when your knees hit the ground and when Natasha grabbed the ball gag from its place in her toy drawer.

“I’m so happy you’re mine,” Natasha cooed as she adjusted the matte black straps. She kissed at your temples when it was secured, murmuring sweet words into the top of your hairline. If there was anyone else watching you, if there were some voyeur witnessing this profession of ownership, you doubt they could hear her. The entire world could be gazing at the two of you under a microscope and they would know nothing. Wasn’t it something wonderful, to share such, dare you say it, love that cannot, will not be observed by a single being outside your pairing? “Such a pretty little thing, a beautiful little toy for me.”

You didn’t dare move, worried even a flinch would disappoint her. Even as spit began to fall down your chin and between your breasts, as it pools in the gap between your legs, you successfully resist the urge to wipe it away. Natasha walks to the end of the bed, perching herself on the covers. The silence isn’t thick or uncomfortable, rather something closer to electric, something you can feel on the insides of your nose as you sniffled.

Slowly, she raised her right hand and crooked her first finger. You understood immediately and you got on your hands and knees to crawl across the room to her. When you reached the end of the bed you waited, obediently, for her.

Like at the restaurant – you were nearly bursting out of your skin with excitement as you awaited instruction.

“You’re so pretty, baby,” she cooed. “Now come up on the bed and let me wreck that pussy.”

You do as you’re told without hesitation, scrambling to get on the bed and onto your back. Natasha grabbed a bottle of lube out of seemingly nowhere and poured it over the same strap from the first time she fucked you.

You moaned deeply and reached for something, anything; you whined high in your throat as she pounded into you, the bed smacking against the stained wall with each thrust.

“You’re too pretty for your own good, you know,” her voice was breathless as she spoke. “Normally I would try to keep my toys intact, try to keep them in good condition, but I just can’t seem to help myself around you.”

With each word your back arched farther, your fingers tightened around the sheets.

“F-fuck,” you moaned around the thick plastic sphere in your mouth as you tried to push your back closer to Natasha’s chest.

She grabbed your hair and bit at the curve of your ear before she spoke in a low voice that sent another wave a slick down your inner thighs. “What do you belong to?” she hisses. “Who does this pussy,” she slapped your cunt and you cried out at the stinging pain. “belong to?”

You didn’t hesitate. “You Mommy, I belong to you!”

In that moment, you wondered whether Natasha’s neighbors could hear your screams. But in the one right after, you realized you really, truly, di not give a single flying fuck what they could hear.

“Fuck yes, you’re mine,” she growled as she pressed your face into the sheets, as she loomed over you like a god would punish some human exercising an unholy level of hubris. “Don’t you fucking forget it.”

You couldn’t speak because of the ball gag – didn’t even try to – yet Natasha seemed to know exactly what you wanted to say.

“You wanna cum, love?” she cooed, still fucking into you. “You wanna cum over Mommy’s cock?”

You nodded, the whines high in your throat resembed something close to a please yes please Mommy please I wanna cum I wanna cum I wanna cum.

Just like the lube, Natasha grabbed the hitachi out of thin air before she turned it on low and pressed it to your neglected clit. It was something, it was enough, but only just so. Your muscle tensed and you wailed out as you bucked your hips, as you tried to fuck yourself harder onto the toy. Natasha notices and slows her thrusts, laughing as you become more and more desperate.

“You’re so pathetic,” she hissed. “Such a pathetic little toy. You’ll do anything to cum, won’t you?”

You nodded; words garbled.

Natasha laughed again. “Of course you would, slut. You’d do anything for me, right? You’d do anything I told you to? You’re just a mindless little toy for me, just a dumb little thing with no thoughts besides how you can please me…”

You were drooling around your gag so much it covered your cheeks and pooled on each side.

You’re blissed out, eyes glazed over and body wonderfully lax. Natasha’s isn’t done with you yet, though, because of course she isn’t. You’re now officially her girlfriend, officially hers, and maybe it’s that satisfaction or excitement or whatever in her blood but it it’s letting her stop, not now, not when you look so ethereal with a halo of sweaty hair and the sheets looking like wings and your skin practically glowing.

Not just any angel, her angel – her perfect little blessed creature, sanctified even as she degrades you in such a sacrilegious way.

“I want you to cum when I count to ten,” Natasha murmured as she pushed the sweaty hairs that had escaped their confines from your eyes. “Alright, baby?”

You nodded and tried to chase the fleeting feeling of her fingers as they dusted over your feverish skin.

She turned the Hitachi up a setting, smiling as it met your clit and you cried out.

“One,” she mumbled, rubbing the head against you in small circles. It was something, but certainly not enough.

“Two.”

Natasha knew this. She knew you didn’t orgasm all that easily.

“Three.”

Regardless, she agonizingly slowly turned the toy up a setting. Just as you feared, it remained insufficient.

“Four.”

God, nearly halfway there and you were terrified what would happen if you couldn’t cum. Part of it was exhilarating, but part of it gnawed a small hole in your stomach that left you…empty, somehow.

“Five.”

She ticked it up one, two more settings. You sighed in relief and moved your hips with what little mobility she’d allowed you.

“Six.”

She increased the vibrations again and reveled in your squeals.

“Seven.”

You cried out and wanted to beg for mercy.

“Eight.”

You didn’t.

“Nine.”

You felt like you’d forgotten how to breathe, lungs shriveled up into nothingness. It was as if you could feel each of your cells as they begged for oxygen, as your blood desperately tried to each your heart and brain.

“Ten.”

You came with a deafening scream, your whole body shaking for what feels like forever.

When you came down, your girlfriend was next to the bed, holding what you could only is another section of rope. What she planned to do with it, you had zero idea.

“How ya doin’, baby?” She asks. Natasha could sense something was off, but worried about misreading the signs.

It’s obvious she was not incorrect, though, when you tapped at your thigh three times.

Immediately, Natasha drops the toys in her hands and rushes over – untying the gag and freeing your limbs.

“What’s wrong, baby?” She scanned your body – terrified of finding blood or something worse. “What do you need?”

You swallowed what little spit you could find, your voice hoarse as you spoke. “Red,” a pause as you attempted to swallow once more. “Water.”

It was all Natasha needed before she was rushing off to the fridge to grab a chilled bottle of the stuff and one of those reusable straws she stole from your apartment.

When she returned to the room she pulled you into her lap, keeping you upright as she leaned against the wall.

Natasha watched every muscle, every twitch as you drank from the straw. Your body seemed unwilling to move itself, relying on Natasha to hold you upright enough so that you didn’t choke. The room was silent except for the sound of your noisy swallowing (and, soon, the slurping of last droplets of water). You were about to ask for more, but Natasha found an unopened plastic water bottle within reach and held that for you, too. It reminded you of the first time the two of you fucked, and suddenly the world didn’t feel so cold anymore.

“I’m done, Mommy,” you told her when half the water was gone. “I’m good.”

“You sure, babygirl?” her voice laced with deep, genuine concern. Her eyes reflected the same emotion.

You nodded, leaning into her and rubbing your knuckles where they laid against her thigh. “I’m sure, Mommy. Thank you.”

Natasha closed the bottle and tossed it into the half-open bedside table drawer before she wrapped you in her arms. “Of course, honeybee. I’m proud of you for using your safe word, thank you for trusting me.”

You mmmed and laid there for a moment, your breathing in rhythm with Natasha. You two sat there, comfortable in the silence. If there was anything else to say, you’d say it – but for the while you enjoyed the wordless space you and her existed in.

It took a long while, after your heart had slowed and your breathing had evened out, but you eventually fell asleep in Natasha’s arms. It was peaceful, deep – somehow impossibly more satisfying than any of the other times you’d fallen asleep, even the times you’d fallen asleep with her. There, secured from harm in her arms and wrapped in blankets, you felt secure. It was indescribable, it was wonderful, it was safe. And to you, in that moment, it was heaven.

#study buddy #lukis writes stuff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff #black widow x reader

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rainydayhogwartsimagines · 4 years

Text

Due to my laptop being a piece of shit I accidentally deleted the request but I finished it and saved it so its fine side note: this user was so creative when they came up with this and I’m debating on whether or not to make a Remus fanfic.

You hated the moon. The fucking moon. That thing needed to DIE. When you were five you had a nasty attack from a werewolf, it injuring you and leaving a wonderful bite. One that led you to have the same affliction as your attacker. It was a lonely experience to be a werewolf, no one could relate to your constant struggle with the moon, your need for chains so you couldn't hurt anyone and worst of all the literal pains of changing into what you were. You usually hid in a cave near the forbidden forest, waking up freezing and alone. You had no one helping your with this, no one there.

That's where Remus was different. He had his friends, who all secretly became Animagus to assist him during rough nights. He had people there, that was where you differed. He had someone. You didn't.

Well... Until recently. It was a particularly hard night, lot of screaming from you. Usually there wasn't a soul who could hear you, but Sirius was walking back from the shrieking shack and heard it. You had chained yourself to the cave wall, aching as you could feel the changes coming when you heard footsteps. You were snarling, slowly changing as you moved back into the dark. "Get. Out." You huffed at the figure.

"You're a werewolf..." Sirius said, kneeling. You thrashed in the chains, growling at him. "You chained yourself!?" He asked. "Get. Out." You repeated, more begging than anything. You laid on the ground twitching as your chest was rising and falling rapidly. Sirius walked out, you still going through an agonizing pain. He came back later though with a bottle, sitting cross legged on the floor. "W-what are you doing!?" You asked.

He waited for your next violent urge to grip your face and force feed you a potion. Your pain suddenly stopped and you were sweating. "W-what did you give me?" You asked. "A potion to stop the pains. You'll still change but it'll hurt less." Sirius said. "Why are you helping me?" You asked feeling the claws slowly form. "Because I have a friend that's like you and I refuse to leave you alone when you clearly need help." was the last thing you could remember before blacking out.

It was a rough night indeed, Sirius having to change into his Animagus form to slow you down and stop you from hurting yourself. You woke up to the sunlight from the cave entrance hitting your face, a leather jacket draped over you and three boys standing there baffled. "I don't believe it, she's actually like Remus." a black haired boy gaped. "She chained herself?" another boy asked, scars across his face. "Yeah, probably to keep herself in here, she didn't even have a potion with her to help." Sirius said looking at you. You slowly leaned up, wincing like it was a bad hangover. The boy with the scars kneeled to you "Careful there... It's always harder after the potion." he warned. You pulled back, shaking as you did and seemed to be terrified seeing other people. "Why are you here!?" You asked. "We're here to help." The dark haired boy said. "I could hurt you-- please get away from me!" You panted. The boy with scars got up, finding the keys to the chains rather quickly and unlocked them. You winced, gripping your shoulder.

"Sirius did you bite her?" The boy with scars asked. "Had to, she was going to rip off her fucking wrist at the rate she was going." Sirius said. "You. Do you have clothes?" James asked. "I-in a bag over there." You said, pointing but then wincing. "How deep did you bite man?" The black haired boy asked. "Sorry." Sirius said to you. "What do they mean by bite?" You asked as the black haired boy handed you the bag and the boys faced away from you.

"Sirius is an Animagus, we all are except for Remus." the boy with black hair said. "Who's Remus?" You asked, looking at the boy's backs as you changed. Remus raised his hand. "That would be me." He said. "You guys can look now." You said. They all turned around. "Who are you? and why are you here?" You asked. "I'm Sirius, that's James, that's Peter and you know Remus." Sirius introduced. Peter extended his hand and you shook your head retreating back. It was almost like you were afraid of touch. "Uhm... Remus is a werewolf-- We all thought he was the only one on campus." Peter admitted. "It feels strangely good to be wrong." Remus admitted. You swallowed and looked down. "We're not going to tell anyone but... Do you need help--" "No." You lied. "Bullshit." Sirius called you out. You looked at him before hiding behind your hair. "We know where you are now, we know where you go. Now it's obvious you do this alone so you can lie to us and tell us your fine but I will show up here and I will sit in that fucking corner and watch your ass like I did last night regardless if you want me here or not. Now. Again. Do you need help?" Sirius asked sternly. The group gaped at him and you shook.

"No one was supposed to know." you whimpered. "Now we do... And we want to help. We really want to help." James said. You looked at them, tears falling. "Please help me." you whispered. Remus understood this pain, this gut wrenching pain of feeling alone. So it was no surprise when he hugged you.

From that point on you were with the group. You tried to hang out alone but one of them was always with you. Remus was usually the one who you were around the most though, he was calmer than the others. James, Peter and especially Sirius were all hyperactive nutbags that ran off of pure energy. Remus understood you. He understood your thoughts and your way of things. He didn't approve of you constantly keeping to yourself by any means. But he understood why you did it. Though, the Marauders were all DETERMINED to get you out.

They got to know you before the next full moon. Like REALLY got to know you. Their hearts hurt listening to you talk about what it was like at home. How after you found out you were a werewolf your mother wouldn't look at you. How your dad used to help you with the transformations but after a year he just stopped so you were alone. How most of the scars on your body were self inflicted because even the wolf in you hated being alive. But the thing at nearly broke Remus was finding out that when he hugged you in the cave, it was the first time you had been hugged in nearly a decade.

A part of you was glad Remus was your first hug in a while. As time was passing, you and Remus became particularly close. Hogsmeade didn't help this either. Both of you were close together. Physically close. Sirius didn't realize why until he realized you had a cold and your body temperature was going everywhere. The funny thing about werewolves is they are REALLY FUCKING WARM. And because you had a cold it was also being a bitch. Remus wrapped his scarf and put his hat on you, keeping you close if you were too cold. Sirius noticed at look everytime you were leaned against Remus, he had this small smile and occasionally would keep his arm around you until you pulled away.

"I'm sure it's not that bad Y/n." James said. "Oi, it is fucking cold, fuck off." You whined. James snorted and you shivered as Remus held you close. "I've been sick before, it actually is really bad." Remus agreed. "See, I'm not crazy." You said, sticking your tongue out at James. "I didn't say that." Remus joked making you playfully punch his arm. "Let's get something warm in you, your throat is probably killing you." Remus said.

The other boys swapped looks of "he really likes her" and smiled. "Hey, we're going to Honeydukes to see if they have anything that might help." Sirius lied. "We are?" Peter asked, earning a smack on the back of his head and Peter realized what they were doing. "WE ARE!" Peter said walking away with James and Sirius. "...Okay... Then?" You muttered confused.

You sat down in the Three Broomsticks out of the cold. "Why did I have to be sick? Why?" You whined. Remus chuckled as he ordered while your head was on the table. You watched him, your head resting on your arms while you did. "Your eyes are pretty." You mumbled. You figured amongst the crowds and the talking he wouldn't hear you but instead he looked over with a kind smile and said "yours are too Y/n."

You blushed and looked away making Remus smile. "Next moon's coming up..." You mumbled. "Yes, the boys seem to have some plan. They were discussing it before we left." Remus said. "Any clue what it is?" You asked. "Nope." Remus shrugged. Warm butter beer ws placed in front of the two of you and you sipped on it. "I honestly don't know how this is going to go." You muttered. "What do you mean?" He asked. "I mean, I am now aware of Sirius' presence. What if I try to attack him instead of myself?" You asked. "He'll keep you at bay, trust me." Remus said. "That's a lot of trust." You noted. "they've done a lot to earn that trust." Remus said. You nodded but still kept a troubled look. "They can help you Y/n, I promise." Remus assured. You gave a small smile before sneezing and groaning. "this sucks." You groaned.

Remus and you ended up walking around hogsmeade, you two talking about whatever came to mind before you saw the aforementioned Shrieking Shack. "So that's what the Whomping Willow is connected to?" You asked. "Yep." Remus nodded looking at it. "...Seems strangely... Peaceful in it's own way." You muttered, watching the house sway. "It's not as terrifying as once you've been in it." Remus chuckled. "There you two are!" Sirius said from behind you, slinging his arms over both of you. "So. The plan for the next full moon?" You asked. "Ohh. Right about that." Sirius cleared his throat.

You found yourself sitting again, in the three broomsticks with the whole group. "Sorry, you want to do what!?" You asked. "We think it's a good idea, it was a unanimous decision." James shrugged. "When the hell did you consult the two of us?" You asked. "We didn't. But we're the ones who have to keep you two at bay and we think it'd be better to keep you together--" "What happens if I attack Remus!? You're literally leading us into a DOG FIGHT!?" You asked, clearly panicked. "Breathe Y/n." Remus soothed. You gripped your skirt, clearly bothered. "Y/n, we promise if it goes south we'll pull you both out of there." Peter said. "Yes, because that's easy with werewolves." You spat. "Y/n... Try to trust us." James said. You ran a hand over your face. "Sirius. Side bar." You muttered.

Sirius got up and you stood outside. "I need a favor." You said. "What's up Crescent?" He asked. "...What?" You asked. "Mooney. Crescent." Sirius pointed to Remus through the window and then you. "...I need you to make me a promise." You said. "What?" Sirius asked. "If you can't separate me and Remus, put me down." You said. Sirius blinked. "You want us to kill you!?" He asked, making Remus' head snap to the direction of your voices. "Yes." You said. "Y/n that's a very loaded thing to ask me to do!" Sirius said before Remus walked out.

"Tell me you didn't ask him to do what I think you did." Remus said. "Remus--" "Tell me you did not just ask him to kill you!" He said. "If I hurt you--" "Y/n I am not letting that happen!" Remus said. "If I hurt you Remus I don't know what I'd do!" You snapped. "Y/n, you're not going to lose me--" "I literally don't know what I'd do if I knew I had hurt you!" You admitted. "Y/n--" "I care about you Remus and if I lost you--" "Y/n--" "I can't lose you, I'd be back to being alone and I-I just can't!" Remus cupped your face, forcing you to look at him. "I won't let that happen Y/n." He said sternly. You didn't say anything, swallowing the lump in your throat before hugging him. He cradled your head to his chest, Sirius watching the two of you with a small smile.

The next full moon was dreadful. You packed your bag and walked out of your dorm, the boys all standing around. "If this fails..." "It won't." James assured. You sighed and walked with them, slipping through the halls and to the whomping willow. You went through the gap in the roots after Remus, literally sliding into his arms after you fell in. The others slid in behind you and you sighed, watching the sun slowly fall. "Scared?" Remus asked. "I always am." You muttered. Sirius handed you and Remus potions. "Bottoms up." Remus sighed before drinking it. You drank yours and gagged. "Fuck that's disgusting." You winced.

You sat against the wall, waiting for the moon to present itself and you sighed. "Do your transformations hurt?" You asked Remus. "God yes." He nodded. You swallowed and noticed the glow. "Here we go." You muttered before feeling your body go numb. You breathed heavily before feeling your claws dig in the floor, snarling as you slowly changed.

The boys watched you and Remus go through the transformation, all them preparing to potentially separate you two. But something strange happened.

You both snarled at the sight of each other but sniffed each other. James rose a brow and watched Remus do what he assumed was a bark and you two... Just played together? It was like watching two dogs be the best of friends and you two eventually tired yourselves out, laying against each other. All of the boys fell asleep, seeing how peaceful it was.

The sun hit your face, an arm draped over you. You had someone breathing against you, who was that? You leaned up, wincing as the sun seemed to be a lot brighter making one of the boys wake up. "Oh shit-- you're naked--" James said looking away. You blushed and rolled over, seeing a sleeping Remus who's hair was in his face. Your eyes widened and you pulled away, grabbing your bag and changing. Remus woke up, due to the abrupt movement. James chuckled and threw Remus his clothes making him start to get dressed. "What was keeping me warm?" Remus asked. "Y/n." Sirius yawned. "What?" Remus asked. "You two didn't fight, actually it was like watching puppies play together. But uhm.. you two just fell asleep and because it was so peaceful so we did too." James explained. You walked in fully clothed now and blushed looking away from a shirtless Remus.

Sirius smirked and you cleared your throat. "you two were so calm." Peter yawned. "It's so weird, I've never even heard of this happening before." James muttered. You rose a brow. "What happened?" You asked. "Apparently we were very calm around each other last night." Remus answered. "We were?" You asked. "So much so that we fell asleep." Peter added. Sirius chuckled looking at you, who was blushing. "What does this even mean?" James asked. "I'm not sure, I've never heard of werewolves even acting calm like this before." Remus said. "Me neither." You noted. Peter pulled a book out of his bag and started flipping through pages. "What the hell?" James asked. "What?" Peter asked. "You keep a book of werewolves on hand?" Sirius asked. "I carried it to see if there were any methods to separate them if we needed to." Peter said, earning "oh's" from all of you.

Peter flipped through and shook his head. "Not seeing anything on this. Maybe a teacher would know." Peter said. "Yes, that will be normal 'Hey Minerva, what do you do if two werewolves don't attack each other?'" Sirius said sarcastically. "Think Severus would know?" Peter asked. James gagged at the idea of talking to him. "What if this is like... A mating thing?" Sirius asked. "What!?" You and Remus asked in unison. "What if the reason you two are calm is your in your mating season or something?" Sirius asked making your face turn red. "No. Sirius that's not how this works." Peter said. "Then how does it 'work' Wormtail, because I'm pretty damn confused?" Sirius asked. "If they were in mating season they probably would've done a lot more than goof off." James said making Peter nod and Remus blushed, putting a hand on his neck and looking away. "CAN WE CHANGE THE SUBJECT!?" You asked. "Okay okay! We'll figure this out, there's got to be a book or something in the library." Peter assured.

Well there wasn't. Which led to Peter asking about it to his defense of the dark arts teacher "Mr. Greyland". He wasn't a cruel man by any means, in fact he was very kind. Old. But very kind. "Mr. Greyland I have a question." Peter asked after all the students had left. "Yes Peter?" The professor asked. "Say two werewolves were put together and they didn't attack each other... What does that mean?" Peter asked. Greyland turned around and rose a brow. "That would be a very rare event... See that only happens when a werewolf was paired with a soulmate." He replied. Peter's eyes went wide. "Uh... Thank you sir... Read it in some crappy novel lately, wanted to find out why, thanks bye!" Peter lied, running out the door.

He went to the Gryffindor common room, grabbing James and Sirius. "What's going on?" Sirius asked. "They're soulmates!" Peter said. "What?" James asked. "Remus and Y/n, the only reason they didn't attack each other was because they're connected by fate, it's something they can sniff out or something!" Peter said. "....Holy shit." James gaped. "Wow, so Remus REALLY has a shot at this." Sirius said. "More than a shot, he literally has a thousand lifetimes to say something!" Peter said. "Do we tell them?" Sirius asked. "DUH." James said.

Almost on cue you and Remus walked in, both of you laughing at something before you noticed the boys looking at the two of you. "Uhm.. hi?" You waved. "We found the answer." Sirius said. "To what?" Remus asked. "To why you two canoodle instead of fight." James answered making you blush. "You're soulmates." Sirius said. You snorted. "Sorry what?" You asked. "Soulmates." James repeated. "That's..." "Ridiculous." Remus agreed. "Seriously!? WE LITERALLY FLY ON BROOMS FOR SPORT AND THIS IS WHERE YOU DRAW THE LINE!?" James gaped. "Yeah because it sounds like a cheesy movie." You laughed. "I know, what's next-- we're actually from two separate planets and we're literally star crossed lovers or something?" Remus asked.

You two shared many laughs over this but at the end of the day you found yourselves back in the shrieking shack. You and Remus were basically locked in a room together and sure enough you two were found the next morning in the same predicament as last time, his arm draped over you and holding you close. You both woke up around the same time both of you looking at each other. You blushed and looked away, Remus doing the same. He noticed a long scar though on your thigh. "how'd that happen?" He asked. "Hmm?" You asked, grabbing your clothes. "The thigh scar." Remus pointed. "Werewolf hunters in the area... Thought I was an adult they uhm..." You cleared your throat. "They nearly killed me." You muttered. "Christ." Remus gaped as he looped his belt through his pants and you slid on your shirt.

"Do you think the guys are... Right... About the soulmate stuff?" You asked. "...Maybe?" Remus said. You looked at him surprised and he rose a brow. "Is that so crazy?" He asked. "I mean... No but--" "So you think there is a connection?" Remus asked. You blushed and looked away. "Remus I--" the door opened and you both saw Sirius eating an apple. "Morning losers." He said nonchalantly. "Hey." You said quietly. Sirius rose a brow as you brushed past him.

The rest of the day you avoided Remus, it was so strange. The group didn't know what was with you. You were jumpier, you were more anxious and Remus was worried. Did he do something wrong?

Tonight though, was the last full moon. You knew this was going to be the worst night. The last nights always were. You could never remember what you did all you could remember was the pain. That night the boys could tell you were hurting too, Remus seemed worried even in his werewolf form. You were yelping and he'd whine making the boys deeply concerned. When the sun finally came out you were curled into Remus's arms. You didn't even sleep you woke up wincing and your skin was almost burning. Remus didn't say anything holding you as you shook in agony

"it burns--" you whined. "it will pass just hold on a little longer." Remus soothed. You whimpered against him, Sirius walking in with another potion. "Y/n, try to take this, it'll stop the pain--" "It will make it worse." You whimpered. Remus and Sirius exchanged a look of confusion. "What do you mean?" Remus asked. "It will just make the pain worse-- it's a-a allergy." You heaved in pain. "So we have to watch you suffer!?" Sirius asked. "You don't have to watch you can leave." You breathed. Remus pulled you closer, Sirius handing you a shirt. You wrapped it over you, flinching at the cloth's contact with your skin. Remus actually had to assist you in getting dressed, even when you all got back to the Gryffindor common room you were shaking and flinching at any noise. Remus was not leaving your side and he managed to lull you to sleep, you nearly passing out on top of him while he read.

Remus didn't dare to move something so precious, something so kind and sweet who didn't deserve to bare this curse. You had suffered long enough. You deserved something better than this. Whether that was unconditional love, friendship or romance, Remus didn't care. He just wanted you safe and happy.

You woke up with a wince, a headache still present but the burning gone. You realized Remus was underneath you, sleeping and with his arm holding you. You blushed but didn't move to wake him. Your hand seemed to have a life of it's own as you brushed his hair out of his eyes. His lips parted and you smiled softly. For someone who could be considered a killer he seemed so normal and tranquil. You kept your hand on the side of his face, tracing the edge of his scar with your thumb before you felt his hand clasp yours. Your eyes widened and you pulled away, shocked and he looked at you. "Enjoying yourself there Crescent?" He asked. Your face flushed and he smiled. You sat up, looking away.

Suddenly everything clicked for Remus. The soulmate question, the sudden need to avoid him, the fact you always spent time with just him. "How long have you liked me?" Remus asked. Your face darkened and you got up. "I should study--" "Y/n. Please. Tell me." He asked. You couldn't say no to those god damn puppy eyes. You sighed and shook your head. "I think I started liking you after you hugged me. I never said anything because... Well I figured because it was the first real touch I've had in a while, I was just liking the first thing that came along... Then I... Then the guys told us we were soulmates and..." You explained. Remus found himself smiling at you. "It's okay if you don't feel the same way. Honestly." You assured. "Are you joking?" Remus snorted. "What?" You asked. "How could I not feel the same way Y/n? Did you know for the first time since I was four I've been able to sleep? Like actually sleep?" Remus asked. You cocked your head to the side almost like a confused dog.

"I love you Y/n, long before I even found out we were soulmates." Remus said making you gape. You swallowed and stared at him in silence. "....Y/n?" Remus waved a hand in front of your face to see if you zoned out. You grabbed his hand, yanking him forward and kissing him. He was of course shocked but once he figured out what was happening he cupped your face, closing his eyes and practically became putty in your hands.

It wasn't until a thud from someone dropping something rang out that you two pulled away from each other. "OH. MY. GOD." Sirius gaped, his books on the floor and his eyes wide. You blushed and Remus pursed his lips looking down before snorting. You looked at Remus and then Sirius before laughing with Remus. "H-How long have you two been like that!?" Sirius asked. "Like two seconds, but my God your face was priceless!" Remus wheezed. You laughed harder and nearly fell off the couch, red in the face from laughter.

"We deserve a soft epilogue, my love. We are good people, and we've suffered long enough." - cardiamachina

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#remus lupin x you #remus lupin #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin x y/n #remus x reader

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