#we don't often post funnies...
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Lioden Dot Com is designed to accommodate for your wildest masculine dreams and fantasies. The lion, the single male in a pride of females, the "alpha", if you will, dominant over the females and ghiue fbbfdjjdf eurehtret
lioden is a fun game because it has fun lions and sometimes some of them do shit like beating you up when you click on their profile page and we think that's cool and that more games should do that
#we speak#lioden#this post is a joke. please don't read our funny joke post as a serious post.#if you want a less shitposty version of this lioden does feed in to the king you play as specifically as being Masculine a lot#in ways that play into stereotype in a way that is most often ah. jokingly exaggerated? the reaffirming is in a joke-y way#but its still there and we at least find that very... hmm. nice? we like being openly acknowledged as masculine#and we dont take gender serious enough for that masculinity explicitly being a joke to bother us too much#we enjoy the fact that this game plays at masculinity and we particularly enjoy the way it lets us be a caricature of masculinity#in a world where all of the other npcs are just as disinclined to take that masculinity seriously as we are#its very ahh. casually manly. poppin a cold one with the boys or whatever other meme phrase. we like being able to rock up to some gay lion#and casually talk about men#we also appreciate how many maned lionesses in explore encounters there are particularly when youre allowed to like#openly take the mane as a feature of them that makes them more desirable as a woman#especially since thats an aspect of text that somewhat translates to gameplay?#the mane on a maned lioness makes them more desirable. it scratches something that just feels... real nice yknow#something something “if a woman has a beard she is more desirable not despite of but because of that beard” and etc#maybe we'll cohere our gender thoughts on this later. we like being recognized as A Men#rather than like. a woman with some weird features. like yeah we're a woman but that doesn't stop us from being a man also#not even mentioning everything else in there
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it is my firm stance that Porky and Daffy are strictly Porkysexual and Daffysexual for each other. HOWEVER. as a Woman Liker i do enjoy occasionally passing down my Woman Liking onto Daffy. incredibly surface level but i've been wanting to draw Daffy flirting with some sort of '40s pinup gal and then you just see Porky grabbing his hand and begrudgingly dragging him away. good stuff
👆 good stuff
#usually when thinking of sexuality headcanons in the past i admittedly kind of tended to either just go full on gay or lesbian because#that's what i could relate to most having known i'm a lesbian for over a decade now.. i know it's a bit narrow minded but also i wasn't#really attaching these headcanons onto anything deeper before LT#but Daffy has been the exception because he is just straight up bisexual in the originals. (nuance of Gay Jokes Weren't Intended To Be#Something More i know yadda yadda but is there any more accurate display of his sexuality in The Daffy Duckaroo where he kisses his girl#and when her bf comes up he goes 'oh well you too' and kisses him on the nose. like. very indicative)#but there's just So Much Evidence. i jokingly pull the 'comphet excuse' a lot of times in the case of characters like Porky who i can't see#being anything but gay personally. but Daffy... textbook definition of bicon iunno what to tell you#i can't imagine these guys having relationships with anyone other than each other for my personal headcanon but i like the idea of Daffy#shall we say 'taking the bait'/appreciating what he might call a 'looker'#it's funny bc Duck Dodgers has him lusting after 'babes' very often and it always feels so gratuitous to me/i'm always like 🥴 when those#plots come up (but maybe i'm reacting more to the early 00s beauty standards/misogyny that comes with that) but I Could Do It (have only#really thought about it for that drawing idea which is also just an excuse for me to draw a--pardon the expression--Hot Babe because i#love doing so but don't let myself do so)#anyway this post was inspired by me thinking of how i need to rewatch One Touch of Venus to sniff for Dafpork scraps and here i am dead on#the floor thinking of how stupid hot Ava Gardner is in that film.#Ava Gardner.. Barbara Stanwyck.. Audrey Hepburn.. Mabel Todd.. all my celebrity crushes have been dead for like 40 years#📝
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what if they were an ultimate frisbee team
#em draws stuff#em is posting about sharpe#sharpe#rifleman harris#daniel hagman#richard sharpe#patrick harper#francis cooper#ben perkins#south essex quirky#<- organizational tag for frisbee au things#see it is Funny because jason salkey was an ultimate frisbee player before he was an actor. also I just think the men should frisb.#<- not a real verb#'look if the terror fandom has terrebus fc then we can have this' says local man who knows very little at all about ultimate frisbee#but also I have noticed that Multiple acquaintances have acquired concussions playing this sport In The Last Week Alone#and thus I deem it Sharpe-Appropriate in its capacity for Causing Grievous Harm and Encouraging the Wearing of Cool Shades In October#so you see. this took me TEN DAYS and ouch ouch ow this is why I don't do group portraits that often#the height differences are Wrong here I am pretty sure but I have almost no conception of how tall any of them are. and I'm tired.#also the designing of their silly little outfits y'know#I do recommend opening up this image Large because tumblr crunches all my little details something awful#sailorpants saw this while I was still drawing it and said they looked like an 'assorted pack of lesbians' and really they're not wrong#other things to note about this au that we've decided: cooper still does crimes and harris has a podcast#stay tuned whilst I figure out how to make custom frisbees so that I can a) design them a cooler one and b) make them into real items#manufacturers I have looked at thus far have either been Suspicious or have required Large minimum orders#but hey if there are 47 people out there wanting a strange frisbee...
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actually first ep of Voyager where Janeway talks to Tuvok about how his family misses him is that when she says they Worry about him Tuvok contradicts her and claims that Vulcans don't do that but when she corrects and says they Miss him he accepts this and admits he misses them too; implying perhaps a pedantic difference between 'Vulcans do not Feel Emotions' (false) and 'Vulcans do not Act Out of Emotion' (accurate) -> 'Miss/Longing' is an emotion, but 'Worry' is an action one does out of emotion -> one Vulcans do; one Vulcans do not.
#N posts stuff#continuation of thoughts from my last post bc i can smell the counterarguments of 'vulcans are not emotional and are#therefore not impulsive and therefore no vulcan child Would run off unattended' which is Wrong#but also a half formulated thought regarding: how often characters will CLAIM that 'vulcans don't do X' and how often#people take that at face value instead of accepting it as like. a character motivated Lie that is being told lol#ie) when Spock claims 'Vulcans don't Have emotions' this is a lie he tells because 1) it's funny to him or 2) this is an Exaggerated#expectation he feels put on him BC other vulcans are more ready to judge his behavior based purely on the knowledge of his#half human genetics -> Spock is forced to hold a Higher standard just to get others to acknowledge they are Minimally equal#ALT: we do Know that Vulcan emotions are deeper/more intense than they visibly show; it doesn't feel Standardized to me that#daily Vulcan culture would DENY the existence of emotions entirely (unless one undergoes Kohlinar which seems to be a Rarer#and more Intense lifestyle Choice SOME vulcans make) bc that Feels like it would be a Lie which wouldn't be Logical to uphold#BUT i Can see conversations About those emotions being one of those things Vulcans keep extraordinarily close to their chest#in Amok Time Spock was ready to Die before he'd tell anyone about a biochemical process his body was experiencing; I can see#emotions as a whole being an almost Equally intimate thing to share w/ outsiders -> hence the 'Vulcans Don't experience emotion'#claim being made in broader Outside society ; you'd talk about it w/ other vulcans but Not with a bunch of humans#(Spock being an arguable Exception to this standard BC of the 'has to uphold a Higher Standard just to be permitted on even ground)#this post is a lot of thinking aloud idk how much coherence there is here but it's fun to think about on many paths
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I don't really like to talk about my time in the Catholic Church since it was so bad (and is the root of...a lot of what I'm struggling with today), but I think ultimately it boils down to: "So many people want to criticize the institution that hurt me, but it's rarely done in a way that suggests they care about the harm done to me and others like me. It seems like everything I and other ex-Catholics went through is reduced to edgy memes and pithy quips. And when that's all I see, it starts to look like this is only done to join in on a group dunking session because that's The In Thing™--and not to express sympathy or request restitution or enact meaningful change."
#and this FURTHER comes across as people just...not actually caring whether what happened to me and people in my situation#(or worse situations. because I got through comparatively well when you look at what else the church has done) can be prevented.#it seems like they're fine with those things continuing to happen as long as they can Dunk On The Church.#but what happens in this institution is...it's not funny. so making 'being funny' the sole unending focus of your ''criticism'' without#EVER offering anything else seems..........again. it seems like an excuse to be Ironic For Clout rather than#actually protesting harmful behavior and wanting that behavior to stop.#and many people who read this post will probably think I'm being Too Sensitive or that I'm Harshing the Vibe because I'm too close to#the issue. and maybe that's true. we ARE all influenced by the things that happen to us in ways we don't understand and often#aren't fully aware of. but in this world of 'sincerity is the worst thing you can do' and 'avoid Cringe Emotions at all cost'............#I don't think I'm exaggerating this one. I think people ARE detached from a bunch of issues they claim to care about.#THIS issue just happens to be one I have some direct experience with.#I'm not putting a vent tag on this sorry. I want people to see it.
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it's funny when you make a post that spreads enough for people to start tagging other bloggers in it and then they tag someone who's been like. a metre or two away from you all day. but you're not mutuals and you rarely interact on tumblr so it's likely it would never occur to the tagger that you know and the taggee know each other at all. but they're literally right there
#anyway no idea what she made of the gaeltacht vampire post#we didn't talk about it#we did talk about tongues with teeth on them and whether anyone's into that though#personal#also funny bc we don't see each other very often#like this is a once a year situation#it just happens to be coinciding currently#we live on different continents lmao
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hitting myself over the head with a hammer labeled SINCERITY until i stop trying to use irony-poisoned deprecation to make people like me
#half the deprecating shit i say ISN'T TRUE and i have to walk it back like 60% of the time and it's never funny enough to make up for it#you cannot cool and mysterious your way into being friends with someone you need to engage genuinely etc. aughh#a post#and it's not even self-deprecation very often bc i've Worked On That it's just acting like i don't like something when i do like it bc i#expect other people to not like it? except i'm not very good at judging what other people will or will not like before they tell me so i end#up insulting something we both. enjoy. for no reason which alienates me from them both in a 'oh they don't like what i like' way and in an#awkwardness way :/#yes i'm overthinking this but i haven't been to therapy in a Minute so there's no one to tell me not to solve emotional problems logically🫶
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not sure it's my post to make particularly, but I do fucking hate how the concept of white guilt gets weaponized within white people ingroups to throw at each other in order to goad each other into emotional passivity, detachement and inaction, it's just so extremely not what the concept is about initially and is actually still an extension of white guilt it turns out!!! as it's still reacting to that idea and concerned by trying to sever oneself from its perceived effects, regardless of what those are and what they do and what bigger picture they exist in!!!! anyway.
#thoughts#personal#bad weird takes#I have seen SO many posts weaponizing white guilt as a thing you should be ashamed of recently#and therefore (generally) you should stop openly caring about palestine and in-community discordant voices from minorities!!#funny how that always goes#the appeal to reason very often opposed to “white guilt” in these messages is also... very revealing imo#like ok are we still on the Emotions VS Reason dychotomy as if the two cannot coexist and inform each other#as if this very dychotomy isn't based on pretty eurocentric imperialist ideas (with sexism sprinkled ontop)#and also the notion that you're stupid and childish if you feel guilty about the state of the world and your complicity in it#is fucking weird???#it's not bad to interrogate how we can offset the systems of oppression we benefit from!!! what is going on!!!#it's bad to use white guilt to center one's feelings over marginalized communities and how to be actually helpful sure!!!#and it's bad (unhelpful) to let guilt freeze us into inaction!! of course!!#but this is very much not what this is about whenever mentioned in these examples?#here it's the very concept that you “feel bad because of privilege” that is bad. it's just bad inherently apparently.#there seems to be weirdass mental gymnastics happening that seem to imply that it's actually based and epic to not feel white guilt#as if??? I don't know it would dissociate you from the causes??? ???? who knows#and so somehow!!! being a “more conscienscious” ally is to ignore marginalized communities' clear calls to action apparently!!#as you wouldn't want to burden them with your your embarassing urge to be helpful :/#REAL victims are being burdened by your behavior see. :/ no you can't talk to them nor see them they're conveniently always offscreen#being taken care of by actual Good Systems that we must trust instead of interfering or getting involved in any way :/#I swear there will be so very much to unpack about those last six months on the internet#I do find it grimly funny that all of these posts calling out its readership on “you let yourself be manipulated because of white guilt boo#are the ones. doing that. the most explicitly. but in reverse. using the concept of white guilt to shame people back into comformity.
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yuffie has many interesting elements to her but people refuse to move past "i find energetic kids annoying" and it makes me sad
#first of all...... treat kids with the grace + patience you wish you had been given when you were one. just. in general#second.....#god forbid a 16 year old have flaws...! especially when part of the boisterous energy is because she is masking#she has a very strong love for her home to the point she's gone into unknown territory#entirely in over her head! but she refuses to give up#it's an interesting way to look at how patriotism can affect a person when you look at the differing views of protecting wutai that her and#godo have. i'm so interested to see how 'a miserable daughter's homecoming' is gonna go in remake pt 3#given that we know they want to expand on wutai more than they could in the OG#remake intermission as well has been rolling around in my head bc i think its interesting that sonon still wants godo to be respected but#yuffie very much is like. nah fuck that old drunkard idgaf. at least thats how it comes across#i've always felt like the kleptomania was allowed to bloom because she didn't receive enough care or support on top of the patriotism from#young age... so the intermission dialogue makes me wonder if we'll delve into that potentially being the truth in part 3#anyway... rebirth gave such good yuffie + party sibling moments im excited to get more in part 3#especially with vincent because they're one of the funniest not-quite uncle and niece combos#yuffie ringing vincent post-AC and then he goes to cloud like 'tell her that's illegal' instead of just replying to her normally 💀funny af#pettiness off the charts. i adore their 'i do care about you greatly but i'd also sell you to satan for one (1) corn chip' dynamic#ultimately you like and dislike whatever characters#but its always worth looking past the surface level. you may discover that the layers have a unique charm to them#and if the charms don't appeal after that? well at least you now have a better understanding of the character. win/win#god knows i've tried to like characters and came out of diving into their facets -still- not liking them. but more often than not it#gives me some new appreciation of the character. because the depth is there you just have to put the effort in to connect the dots#(this was spurred on by brainless takes i saw in general chat of a public discord. yes i know. my own fault for looking in a godless place)#these tags are 2 short to add proper nuance to my thoughts but you get the idea. this has been my once in a blue moon ramble post o7#might delete later i just wanted the thoughts expelled teehee <3
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sometimes I'll just see the tip of a drama iceberg passing for a fandom I'm not in where people just complaining about this subgroup of fans who are Doing Things Wrong and I'll go "glad I'm not there but even so maybe we just need to apply more judicious self content regulation?"
#blocking is free! I love doing it for the slightest things#I just use it as a ''get these posts out of my sight'' button at the drop of a hat#If i have a bad encounter the rare times I go out into wider fandom of the things I love#I just Don't Go Back There. frankly I dislike engaging with wider fandom in general#fandom for me is me and my group of friends' Correct Opinions.#at that point if someone does something Funny™ you can just... talk about it civilly?#that's another thing I feel like we could give a try more often but we don't want to have that conversation!#stop talking Red#on reflection ''we don't want to have that conversation'' feeds into that so revision:#it seems a wider trend is to immediately condemn anyone with an opposing opinion without giving them the space to grow from that opinion.#I do not like that and wish we could work towards a better place of understanding!#not ''tone policing.'' just asking to show a little more compassion for the human on the other side of the screen#EDIT: this was about Dragon Age stuff lmao#I have since taken my own advice and blocked those involved!
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One day after school, my friend and I went for a walk in the yard, then it was windy, and the wind lifted, then lowered, then pulled our hair in all different directions, but we didn't care and we continued to walk, discussing all sorts of nonsense, sitting on a bench...
Despite the fact that it was only lunch, the sky had already turned yellow-red...
#stupid post#talk talk talk#we're not friends now#and I don't miss her#and to be honest#I wouldn't even have thought about it if I hadn't come across the right music in tiktok...#...#does that make me bad...?#like#we've been friends since childhood#and last year we often talked#sitting by the bench#talking about everything#and about sad and funny#etc...#but despite that#I don't feel anything#except for now...#yes#we were terribly different#we didn't communicate much outside of school#but we still somehow communicated after all...#maybe I don't miss her because I didn't appreciate her or the moments we went through...?#I don't know...#I thought that if I stopped being friends with her#then I would be a loner#wandering around school without anyone...#but honestly#it's not that bad
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"that future won't come to be. it never happened.
or so i believed back then."
well. OKAY. i GUESS i'll keep reading, just for that.
#wwaffles bein' an idiot#wwaffles reads stuff#its okay. its fine. it's funny for sure. but im just not that into the main guy.#well im not really into any of them pfft#idr if i actually made a post about it or just thought about making a post about it#but one thing i like in trash family is that everyone has a reason for being so obsessed with cale#there's no accidentally stumbling into relationships with someone because he reminded them of their dead grandpa#(okay sort of with lock but theres also like a reason we don't see him very often)#he's grateful to cale for helping him and his younger siblings but that's all he is. grateful. hes not obsessive like the others.#meanwhile i KNOW its because of his nurture skill (or so the going theory is)#but him going around collecting obsessions so quickly and so easily is kinda.............................#like as quickly as everyone fell for cale there WAS still a buffer period#anyway. im only like this because ive got trash on the brain and refuse to think about anything else unless i can relate them somehow#teehee
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What if They were Dads?
SUMMARY: Headcanons of what I think they would be like as fathers to your child. And what if his dormmates were like honorary uncles to the child?
CHARACTERS: OB Students (Riddle Rosehearts / Leona Kingscholar / Azul Ashengrotto / Jamil Viper / Vil Schoenheit / Idia Shroud / Malleus Draconia)
TAGS: Headcanon; Fem!Reader (AFAB) (I never really know what tags to use but I hope you know what I mean)
WORD COUNT: An average of 690 words per character.
COMMENTS: I would have liked to have made a headcanon about the relationship with the boys' parents and siblings, but since we don't know them that well or at all on the Eng Server like Vil's father, I think I'll leave that for a possible post that complements this one. If you want.
Since I didn't want each character to have a big chunk of text, I put them as paragraphs instead of bullet points.
I hope you enjoy 🩵
CONTEXT: This was written with a cisgender female reader in mind. Reader is Yuu. But if you want (and can) read it in any other way, feel free to.
By the way, this is one of those moments when I wish English had a second person plural, instead of the singular and plural being the same. Whenever I write “your child” I mean it in the plural (you, the reader, and his)
Riddle’s child(ren) call him: Father
Riddle has the same demands and standards for his child that he has for himself. But he doesn't want to make the same mistakes as his mother, so in comparison he can be more permissive. Because of this he will ALWAYS listen to you if you tell him he is being too harsh.
In terms of studies, etiquette and behaviour he is quite strict as you would expect. But when it comes to play he lets his child do almost anything they want.
He doesn't know how to play with his child, but he will always make an effort to learn how to and do it with them. He almost seems to regress to the childhood he never had and wants to give to his child. Whenever the child learns a new game, they will show it and teach it to Riddle and he will be delighted with it.
Although he is strict, he is also relatively protective, especially if your child is a girl. He tries not to be overly protective, but he can't help but worry about your child. If there was a right way to raise a child, is he doing his job well enough? You will have several conversations at first to reassure him that he is doing a good job.
He will study any and all parenting books that experts in child behaviour and education recommend. This kind of knowledge is never too much. Which often leads you to try to convince him to relax and just trust his instincts and what he feels is right. The child is his, not all those authors and experts. Sometimes there are things that a parent simply knows.
Lawful and calm Uncle Trey. They love uncle Trey's sweets! Sometimes Riddle asks him if he's not giving them too much sweets and Trey always assures him that it's okay because he knows how to make healthier sweets and the limit for a child to eat. If they weren't already Riddle's child, the whole thing about always brushing their teeth could be scary.
Chaotic Uncle Che'nya. The crazy and fun Uncle! Your child and Che'nya join forces (maybe even with you) to play pranks on Riddle. Never anything that could get the child into trouble with their father, just enough for everyone, Riddle included, to have fun.
Uncle Ace and Uncle Deuce are more from your side than Riddle's honestly. Ace is a bit like Che'nya in the case of being one of the chaotic pranksters uncles. But he is also the uncle of magic tricks who is always deceiving, but also entertaining your child with them.
Deuce is the rad uncle with a cool moto and/or even cooler blastcycle, who offers to take your child for a ride in it with him. Your child also finds it funny to see the two of them arguing amicably. But it’s even funnier to see them imitating their father trying to order them to stop arguing.
Uncle Cater doesn't show up very often, but they like him. He's not chaotic like Ace and Che'nya, but he's also fun. Your child enjoys receiving compliments from him and taking pictures with him.
Your child imitates their father scolding Grim too. Just like Riddle (and probably because they're still little) they have a very bad temper. Riddle gets embarrassed whenever you say that someone takes after their father.
Leona’s child(ren) call him: Dad
Leona still doesn't like kids... your child(ren) is/are just an exception.
Yes, Leona would treat a daughter slightly differently than he would treat a son. In the same way that he treats men and women a little differently. But the only difference is that he would be tougher on a son than a daughter, but will still be affectionate regardless.
No matter what gender his child is, he wants the same for them: be strong both physically and mentally. To outsiders like some servants or citizens who don't know him, they may get to the point of thinking Leona is a harsh father who doesn't deserve all that love from his child, and he will tell both you and your child not to mind that. But the truth is that he is just like he was with you at school: a tough guy who hides a caring heart.
Leona continues to show himself to be a person who doesn't want anyone to upset him and who would growl at anyone who bothers him. The only people who can get close to him even when he's angry and remain safe and sound are you and your child. He'll still growl at you and your child quietly, but there will be a volume that is the line, like if his growl is louder than that limit it's because he's getting really angry, until then it's just him being him.
Your child will already have the best private teachers and tutors (one of them being Kifaji/Neji if he’s still alive), but even so, Leona will want to make them study and learn more. But in that discreet way that he knows. He will not force them to study more, he will find a way to convince them to want to learn more on their own.
You end up being the most affectionate parent and the one they trust for emotional comfort. Leona is the tough love, you are the soft love (at least in comparison). Leona will always tease you, insinuating that you are too soft and only spoil your child. Although he enjoys when you spoil him too.
He is 100% the ‘Go ask your mom’ kind of dad.
He lets his child take naps with him. And you too.
If he has more than one child, he will police himself not to favor any of them. He may have a tendency to favor the younger ones because of what he went through as the youngest himself, but none of his children will be treated in any special/different way based on their birth order. Neither the youngest nor the oldest.
He will try to convince his child not to be too close (emotionally) to their uncle or cousin, but won't stop them from playing with Cheka. When your child is old enough not to tell others what is said in your home, Leona and them will talk badly about Falena and Cheka behind their backs.
Leona will prefer your child to play with Ruggie and/or his children. On the one hand, he wants to keep them away from his family, but on the other hand, he also wants his child to know what the real world is like, to see both wealth and poverty, to know royalty as they knows their people and only then create their own judgement.
They don't call anyone uncle or aunt other than Falena and his wife. In the same way, Leona also doesn't give cute titles to anyone without being sarcastically. Even when he calls you “love”, “darling”, “honey” or something like that, it's to tease you.
Whenever you go to Shaftlands, whether for democratic reasons or on holiday, you always try to find a way to meet with Jack. Leona pretends that he only helps you with this because you want to see your friend and he wants to get rid of his family. Both you and Jack know that he just doesn't want to admit that he wants to see him too. Jack is the cool parent's friend who taught your child how to snowboard. While they are little they like to hug his tail because it’s fluffy.
Despite everything, he doesn't want his child to have the same lack of hope that he has, and despite trying to hide it, he always feels extremely guilty and bad whenever your child says something like that. At these times he relies on you to be the ray hope in that house, they will both need you for that.
Both Leona and your child are afraid of you when you get really serious or angry.
Do you know that scene from The Lion King where Mufasa uses Zazu to give Simba an pouncing lesson? Leona often does something similar, but instead of the target being a blue bird, it's a magical creature called Grim.
Azul’s child(ren) call him: Daddy (when little) Dad (when older)
Azul is an extremely emotional father, despite trying to hide it. There's going to be a lot of moments like: “HE/SHE IS THE CUTEST LITTLE THING IN THE WHOLE- *clears throat* I mean, he/she is such a charming little child.” He will most likely cry at your baby's first words, steps, anything.
Azul is overprotective! If any living creature even thinks about harming your child, he will tortu- that is, find a completely legal way to ensure that it never happens again. Now, if you'll excuse him, he suddenly felt like talking to Jade and Floyd. (The same protectiveness applies to you.)
Although he is very (secretly) emotional and loves to spoil his child, he is also relatively strict about their studies. He likes to spoil them (and you) when it's deserved, but he will not raise a spoiled child! This ends up balancing things out a bit.
He will hide the whole mafia-like part of his life from his child. Dad is just doing business, boring adult stuff. Maybe when your child is older he will start to reveal a little of that side of his life, if they later want to join their father it will be their choice. But until then, let them be innocent children, they are cuter and happier that way, there is time for everything.
He will always hold back his emotional side so as not to be overly affectionate. Unless his child starts crying. At that point his mask falls completely and he becomes the most affectionate and comforting father there can be, that is his weakness.
And if one day the child realizes this and starts using crying to get what they want from him, he won't know whether to be angry that he is being emotionally manipulated by his own child, or proud that they learned so quickly.
You will be the only one immune to the fake crying.
From the beginning, Azul has been wary and suspicious of letting Jade and Floyd be like uncles to your child. However, you two ended up letting this happen, but Azul will always keep an eye open.
Both Jade and Floyd will definitely use the child to play pranks on Azul. Mostly Floyd, Jade prefers to watch and assist. Azul will always be upset with the twins, never with his child. And depending on the severity of the prank, he will turn on his overprotective side and threaten Jade and Floyd that if that happens again they will never see your child again. They never go beyond that limit.
Every now and then when Floyd plays with your child, he will do that joke where he playfully tells them he's going to catch them and bite them. Actually in his playful voice, he doesn't want to scare them. And they will run to Azul and hide behind his legs asking for help while laughing. Or tentacles if they are in their merfolk form.
If you ask them Jade is the scary uncle (only sometimes) but they themselves don't even know why. It's just his vibe or something. However, they are not afraid to ask any of them for something, it being to play or for help.
You know those little plastic cashiers where kids pretend to have a little shop and try to sell things to people at home? Usually parents or sibling. Azul loves to play this with his child because it is a great and fun way to pass on his knowledge. Both about sales and about taking care of your money. Usually using the Grim as a guinea pig. Grim also likes to play because he always ends up with food in exchange for toy money.
Jamil’s child(ren) call him: Dad (in informal moments) and Father (at formal events)
Jamil needed to learn to express himself more and better emotionally so as not to end up being a cold father without meaning to. He needs your help to teach your child when to hold back and when to know when they are in a safe space to let go.
The only thing that will follow Jamil forever is an inevitable feeling of guilt for your child having the same fate as him, simply for being his child: serving the Al-Asim family with no other choice. But you can be assured that if there is a way to stop this and give his child freedom of choice, whatever that method may be, he will not give up until he finds it and do it! Normally parents want to give their children what they always wanted and could never have, in Jamil's case it’s freedom.
There was something Jamil wanted to do, but he didn't have the courage to ask the Al-Asim for some kind of vacation. But you had! Using your great friendship with Kalim, you managed to get him to allow you to take a vacation long enough for you to travel as a family, as Jamil wanted. Jamil has always wanted to travel alone, but now with you and your child he would like to travel as a family and give his child the experiences he would have liked to have had himself.
He is quite demanding with his child's education and training. However, his attitude towards this is always calm and collected, and he is attentive to his child's limitations and needs. He is a great and responsible tutor, who knows how to distinguish between being a teacher and being a father.
He is usually quite serious, so you and your child are the ones who start messing with him to have fun and make him laugh. It's always nice when he reminds you two that he can also be a tease. Normal or biggest target of your joint teasing ends up being Grim at some point.
During his work as Kalim's servant, Jamil always had to cook a lot and he's not that big a fan of cooking, so so he can rest at home you're the one who cooks most of the time. He will teach you everything you want to learn and at first you will cook together a lot until you feel comfortable cooking alone. But even then he will continue to offer to help you. Your child will continue to say that Jamil's food is tastier, but yours is prettier. And the food you make together is the best because it’s tasty and pretty. Jamil will also encourage his child to cook with you two so that they can learn from a young age.
His child knows that there is only one thing in this world that can make their father scream in fear: Bugs! If your child is also afraid of insects, you're screwed, because you will be the insect killer in that house. However, if it is just the two of them, Jamil's protective instinct will be stronger and despite his fear he will protect his child. If your child is not afraid of insects, then Jamil will have two protectors. “Can you do dad a favor?”; “Where is it?”; “Living room, south wall last time I saw.”; “Does it fly?”; “...Yes.”
Kalim will treat your child almost like one of his own children, for loving you both so much. He got emotional when he found out you were pregnant, he wanted to help pay for your doctor's appointments if necessary (never was), and he got emotional again when your child was born. He loves buying toys for your child too and give them gifts. He would love for Jamil to let them call him Uncle Kalim. And he loves it when your kids play together.
Vil’s child(ren) call him: Father
Vil wants to have a family that is at its best as he likes to be at his best himself. He wants you and your child to be as beautiful on the outside as you are on the inside, just as he strives to be as well. However, he would treat a daughter slightly differently than a son because of the different pressures of societal beauty standards.
With a son he would be as strict with him as he is with himself. But with a daughter, he knows she's more likely to suffer from these kinds of things. So although he continues to be relatively strict and wants her to be the best she can be, he ends up being softer with criticism and stronger with praise and soft love than he would be with a son.
He would hire a specialist, like as a child psychologist or something like that, to always know the best ways to rise and protect your child. Children of famous people like him, especially in the digital and social media age, may need more protection from their parents in this regard, in addition to the toxic pressure of comparison that exists. However, because Vil cares so much about your child's personal development as their happiness, he may end up putting enormous pressure on himself to be a perfect parent too.
Both Vil and your child will need you to be the person who brings them both back to the real world and the life of a loving family with flaws like any human being. Vil will always listen to you if you feel he may be being too harsh and demanding with your child, or with himself in terms of parenting.
If you are the type of person who likes to tease Vil by letting yourself be sloppy from time to time, (always at home) then your child will also like to tease their father like that. “You have your mother’s cheekiness, I see.” Vil sighs but laughs. The teasing includes eating sweets and food that Vil would not approve of. You are the parent they ask for things from and who best comforts and pampers them. You two probably team up to make Vil relax and have fun with you.
His child will have the best teachers and tutors, go to the best schools and best establishments for any extracurricular activity they want to have. Vil will probably force them to have an extracurricular activity but they will be free to choose which one.
Rook is OBSESSED with your child! In a respectful way of course, he is just already a huge fan. The result of combining your DNA with Vil's? MERVEILLEUX! He won't hold back the tears when he sees the baby for the first time. He will LOVE playing with your child. He will babysit for free and will be happy to do so if you ever need. It will be a long time before he stops getting so emotional whenever your child calls him "Uncle Rook."
Uncle Epel is the rad uncle, when Vil is not around. He is that person who will help your child do cool activities that Vil may not allow. Like taking a blastcycle ride with him, eat grilled meats, playing with things that make the child very dirty or other things that Vil didn't like Epel to do when they were at NRC. But if at least one parent allows it (you), then there is no problem. Right? All this, of course, when Vil is not around.
When he is there, both Epel and your child behave like little angels. You and Epel have to be very careful that the child doesn't get careless and say something in Epel's dialect in front of Vil. They love Uncle Epel because it is fun to do cool things without their father knowing and with your help.
Your child likes to use Grim as a doll to dress up in cute clothes. The funny thing is that Grim likes it too because your child eventually realizes that if they tell him he looks cool instead of cute, he'll let them keep dressing him up.
Idia’s child(ren) call him: Daddy (when little) Dad (when older)
Idia doesn't believe he can be a good father. A shut-it and antisocial otaku like him? Are you crazy? That's a disaster! He can't take care of himself, how is he going to help you raise a child? However, and especially with you, he also has that overly cocky side that believes that even being an antisocial nerd he would be 1000 times better than a lot of parents out there. So basically he has a tendency to oscillate between these two moods.
In comparison, you are the strict parent, he is the parent who spoils the child. They are both afraid of you when you get upset. He's a ‘Don't tell your mother’ type of dad. He can't say no to his child, but, oddly enough, he can't be emotionally manipulated either. He may even let his child do a lot of things, but even he has limits to what he knows is good or bad for them.
Because he's the permissive father, he's also the scariest when he gets serious. He can never get really mad at his child, but he can say a firm and assertive “No” if necessary. However, if they are still very young and start crying, he will panic and call you immediately. You will then have to comfort Idia and tell him that no, he did not make a decision that put him on the path to the traumatic and apocalyptic ending. What he probably did was the opposite.
If it depends on him, his child will be a nerd/otaku just like his father. However, he doesn't want them to be socially anxious like him and will always encourage them to go for walks with you outside even if it's without him. That doesn't mean there aren't times you drag him outside with you.
Besides occasionally questioning whether he is being a good father, there is something else that haunts him... He still carries and will probably always carry the feeling of guilt for what happened to Ortho, so he is absolutely TERRIFIED that something like that may happen again.
Idia has always tried to keep your child as far away as possible from all areas that are dangerous or even remotely similar to the hallway where that happened. But if your child ever happens to even enter an area that their father did not allow, they will get to know a side of Idia that sometimes you yourself don’t even remember exists: The overprotective, traumatized side that isn't afraid to scare his child if it means keeping them away from the danger. And probably the only way they'll see his red hair. But it will probably be after that, that the two of you will have an open heart conversation and Idia will apologize.
Now, about Uncle Ortho, they LOVE uncle Ortho! He's the one who goes for a walk with you and your child when you and he can't convince Idia to go too. He is a cheerful uncle who loves to play with your child. You three made up stories to explain why uncle Ortho was a humanoid. You always make up different and crazy stories to jest with them and make them change the subject. The day will come when they will be old enough to know the truth.
Idia may even talk badly about himself a lot of the times, but no matter what his child do, they are talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular and everything good. “Of course that's because they inherited it from you, not me.” He will say with a smile.
Both Idia and your child treat Grim like a pet cat and find it funny to see him getting grumpy.
Idia spoke to his child in that baby voice when they themselves were also babies. And maybe also when they are children to the point where they tell him to stop treating them like babies.
Malleus’s child(ren) call him: Daddy (when little) Dad (when older) Father (at formal events)
The day Malleus found out you were pregnant was already a happy day, but the day your child was born was the happiest day of his life! And every moment with them is the happiest moment of his day. And of course with you too. He totally and completely loves his family!
Anyone who dares to speak ill of the child of Malleus Draconia, especially about the fact that they are half-human, will suffer the consequences! Anyone who spoke openly about the child being something of a disgrace, shame or an abomination was either killed or imprisoned. (Depending on how opposed you really are to Malleus killing or ordering someone to be killed.) and of course, the same applies to talking bad about you.
The problem is that this is doing the same thing to your child that was done to him. He's scaring everyone and making them afraid to come near your child for fear of saying or doing something that might upset them or Malleus. He listens to you and agrees with you, showing concern and thoughtfulness about what should be done. He hates people being disrespectful to the ones he loves, but he also doesn't want his child to go through what he went through.
What ends up happening is that, on Malleus's part, he realizes that he has to start learning ways for people to respect his child without using fear, but to do that he also has to start letting certain insults slide. He doesn't like it, but if it's what's best for his child, he'll do the best he can. Although the same applies if they disrespect you. He hates it so much!
In the case of your child, you are helped by Lilia (if he’s still alive), Silver, Sebek and their families. Perhaps trying to spend more time among their people and with other fae, humans, and half-fae might be beneficial to a child's social development.
Lilia would treat the child as if they were his own grandchild. Even if Silver also has children, they are ALL Lilia's grandchildren! “There's no denying it any longer... I am... officially... an old man... For the best possible reasons!” Everyone will rescue your child from Lilia's food. “Never eat anything that Grandpa Lilia cooks, you hear?”
Silver is the calm uncle who, despite not being the most fun to play with, is the one they turn to when they want to rest and simply have a good chill time. Or take a nap. Probably who they turn to to run away and hide from Sebek when he's being annoying. He ends up being the adult (than is not their parents) that they trust most and feel most comfortable with. Silver is very happy when they ask him for help to get closer to an animal to see it better, and even more so if they and the animals end up interacting and playing with each other.
Now about Uncle Sebek... If there is anyone more protective and flattering of that child than Malleus, it is Sebek. He cried when the child was born, for sure. And cried even more when the child said his name, or whenever they at least tried to. The day they called him "Uncle Sebek" he was about to have a heart attack. The problem is that he ends up being one of those type of person who adores children (although in his case the only ones he likes would be Malleus's and his own children) to the point that the child finds them annoying and clingy. “But don't tell Uncle Sebek that, he'll be sad.”
Whenever the child throws a tantrum that ends up causing their powers to manifest in storms or uncontrolled magic, Malleus will take care of it while you stay away and safe. To him, any attack would be mere tickling, but he always made sure that your child knows that the same does not apply to you. They may end up thinking that you are very fragile while they are little, but it is better this way to ensure that they do not hurt you unintentionally.
This also means that whenever you need to say ‘No’ to your child, Malleus will do it if there is a possibility that they would start throwing tantrums. At least while they are young and cannot control their powers well.
Malleus also runs the risk of being a father who spoils his children.
Your child and Grim probably burn a lot of things around the castle because they play together and they both have fire powers.
If you would like to read more from me, you can find it in my pinned post: INDEX
And if you would like to read this but with other characters you can write in the comments. If this post has a lot of notes (likes and reblogs) I might consider making a second part with other characters.
#Twisted Wonderland#twst#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#twst headcanons#Riddle Rosehearts#Riddle Rosehearts x Reader#Leona Kingscholar#Leona Kingscholar x Reader#Azul Ashengrotto#Azul Ashengrotto x Reader#Jamil Viper#Jamil Viper x Reader#Vil Schoenheit#Vil Schoenheit x Reader#Idia Shroud#Idia Shroud x Reader#Malleus Draconia#Malleus Draconia x Reader
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my brother and i sometimes communicate just by sending voice notes where we are making the noises that the emojis on panfu used to make (idk if panfu was a thing worldwide it was like club penguin but with pandas)
Hehehe I love that!
Reminds me of that thing where there's a post that's not quite a meme because not many people saw/remember it but you reference it sm with your friends you forget it's not an Actual Established Meme to anyone outside your friend group lol
#asks#send me your funny weird texts with loved ones#my friends and I have it with that 'did you think about that? no. you only think about yourself' post#and we often slip and say it to ppl who don't know what that means and it just comes off as aggressive XD
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i like me better - franco colapinto
summary: franco and driver!reader seem to be getting closer, through their shared social media interaction. once y/n gets her first fp1 drive, everything falls into place.
a/n: everything is fictional, and there is no face claim! enjoy :)
liked by landonorris, alex_albon, and 563, 982 others ynusername trading four wheels for two this weekend 😉
mercedesamgf1 Please get off the bike y/n
lilymhe IS THAT A BABY Y/N PIC I SEE
ynusername hehe maybe
landonorris I know toto died seeing you post this liked by ynusername
motogp Fancy a weekend with us?
ynusername OH MY GOD I THOUGH YOU'D NEVER ASK team_toto_wolff No Y/n.
lewishamilton 🩷
ynusername hey dad!
liked by francolapinto, oscarpiastri, and 3, 872, 440 others landonorris Summer break you will be missed
danielricciardo Mate you're so ugly
landonorris Smd old man
mclaren Pls tell us that you didn't actually go dirt biking
landonorris Don't worry I was with y/n mclaren That makes it worse
ynusername I'm on a mission to take the whole grid on a dirt biking adventure, who's next bitchessss
francolapinto Me me me I volunteer landonorris Someone's eager 😏
view ynusername's story...

caption: track limits at turn 7 stewards go get their asses
liked by francolapinto, lewishamilton, and 711, 923 others ynusername excited to take lewis' car out for a spin in fp1 #justiceforreservedrivers
lewishamilton Don't pull a Kimi
kimi.antonelli What the hell Lewis
landonorris awww baby y/n
landonorris Still hasn't achieved her goals of racing in f1 hehe ynusername just for that i'm running u off track tomorrow xx
francolapinto Congratulations Y/N! I'm excited to see you out there
ynusername thanks franco!!
patriciooward I agree #justiceforreservedrivers liked by ynusername
liked by ynusername, lewishamilton, and 5, 720, 816 others mercedesamgf1 Celebratory hugs between Y/N and Lewis following Y/N's superb FP1 drive!
tagged: ynusername & lewishamilton
ynusername Maybe like I can replace the dinosaur or something aha...
francolapinto My favourite driver as a child and my favourite driver as an adult together 🤗
ynusername wow thank you franco! landonorris Boy you are NOT slick
lewishamilton The 🐐
lewishamilton And Y/n.
liked by lewishamilton, landonorris, and 142, 674 others ynusername some funny photos from a very fun weekend
francolapinto Come on you post my teammate but not me?
ynusername maybe you should visit me often then 🤷♀️
georgerussell63 Is that Toto...
ynusername affirmative
landonorris Trust in y/n to expose the grid hmmm
alex_albon Wow @/georgerussell63 looking sexy
lilymhe Stop hitting on GEORGE
lewishamilton ⭐ liked by ynusername
francolapinto Penalty for eating ice cream during race week
ynusername booooo someone throw tomatoes on him
user53 DOUBLE FRANCO COMMENTS
liked by alex_albon, ynusername, and 1, 448, 925 others francolapinto Good weekend 😁
tagged: williamsracing & alex_albon
alex_albon Mate does not live up to the hype sorry Franco
ynusername what the actual hell are you doing to that car in the second photo
francolapinto I can show you later if you'd like This comment was deleted
ynusername also you expect me to post you but you don't even post me smh
francolapinto You go first then
landonorris holy shit I saw that comment franco
williamsracing We're pretending that we didn't!
view ynusername's story...

caption: fine I'll go first @/francolapinto
view francolapinto's story...

caption: She clearly doesn't like paparazzi
liked by oscarpiastri, paularon, and 2, 630, 727 others francolapinto I might fall off but at least a pretty girl can give me CPR
tagged: ynusername
landonoriss FUCKING FINALY
lewishamilton I'm keeping my eye on you Franco
francolapinto 😅
ynusername awww you think I'm pretty?
francolapinto I'm happy to repeat myself francolapinto You are the prettiest girl I've ever met
williamsracing Please do not fall off
view ynusername's story...

caption: how is he a formula one driver and still so uncoordinated
how did we like this guys? ALSO why the hell are there no new photos of franco on pinterest like damn. Let me know if you like this and as always reqs are open!
#franco colapinto smau#franco colapinto x reader#f1 x reader#formula 1#f1 fic#f1 imagine#f1#f1 fanfic#formula one#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1 imagine#f1 2024#f1 smau#franco colapinto#francolapinto#franco colapinto fanfic#franco colapinto fluff#franco colapinto imagine#franco colapinto f1#fc43#williams racing
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i do agree with the post about caring about men who can get pregnant, and this is entirely asked from lack of information
that can kill you?? jesus i feel like we shouldnt make those jokes at all
let me be real about something real quick: i think mpreg jokes are funny. i think they are funny. obviously not in all contexts, but that's the case for all jokes. so like, go ahead and make them, but you do gotta be careful about who you say them around. obviously you wouldn't make an mpreg joke about, to, or around a man carrying an unwanted pregnancy.
another thing: pregnancy can kill anybody. it aint just me, it can kill anybody. that's a whole other person living inside of you. i only say it will definitely kill me cuz i aint got all the working parts, but pregnancy will kill anybody who can get pregnant. that's just what pregnancy is
the problem is that a lot of the people who make these mpreg jokes don't actually care about the men who can get pregnant. male pregnancy is often viewed as humiliating or shameful. it's made into this joke. a lot of cis people i know will make forcefem jokes around me, which is fine, i'm also transfem, but when i try to explain that male pregnancy is a real thing, they simply shake their heads and walk away.
anyway, real men can really get pregnant. the jokes are funny, but you do have to care about the rights of real men who can really get pregnant, or else people are going to doubt you when you say you're a trans ally
also stop saying "women's rights" when you mean "reproductive rights". not all women can get pregnant, not all people who reproduce are women. please and thank you.
tldr: mpreg funny, but it stops being funny when you don't really care about actual male pregnancy
#sorry if this is long sometimes i take the long way around when talking about something that personally affects me#ask#male pregnancy#tw pregnancy#transandrophobia
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