#we dont like to get angry at systems we like to get angry at people

[wittyworm]

officially in my anarchy era i cant fuckin take this anymore lol

[nexus-nebulae]

really trying to be patient and wait for my brain to go back to normal over time but by god do i want to just obliterate creative block with a hammer

[doveofmourning]

.

[stew-chan]

blehhhh I don't wanna go back to work tomorrow T~T four days off has been soooo nice

[spectrumgarden]

I know I'm shouting into the void with this one but like. Genuinely so many low support needs people dont understand what it's like having even medium support needs. Like I am entirely dependent on other people for many of my needs. I can not see a doctor without someone else scheduling the appointment, taking me there and doing a large amount of the communication for me.

If my caretaker had not been accepting of me being trans and invested hundreds of hours into psych appointments and taking me to my endocrinologist and doing all the paperwork involved with my name change and literally taking a week off work to stay with me in the hospital for surgery etc i would have just like. Never transitioned. My ability to transition was entirely dependent on a singular person and that's what a lot of other parts of my life are like as well. and that's fucking terrifying and a great way to be neglected and abused in ways that are horribly hard to get away from.

I dont drive, I dont work, I struggle to leave the house at all, I dont fucking communicate with people majority of the time. The things that are hard for you? I probably can not do them to begin with. No one in my family lives even close to a comparable life to me. None of my irl friends do. I'm incredibly isolated.

And then I go online and see people rant about how easy MSN and HSN people have it because we just get everything we need and how because people can tell we are disabled everything is so easy because none of you even manage to listen to us talk about the neglect and abuse and trauma we face/d. I see people angry at their (more) disabled siblings for getting care they need to survive instead of mad at society for creating a system where its incredibly hard for families to take care of both a higher support needs child and another child.

And I see people who live completely independent lives who work and drive and make their own doctors appointments and grocery shop and travel by themselves call themselves MSN (I could go on a rant about how that's also often the fault of LSN influencers for not leaving a lot of room in their own community for legitimate struggle but that's for another day).

I just want my needs met. I want to be able to decide where I live. I want choice in my care. I want to be able to have community with those like me. I want others to realize I exist and leave the words i have to describe my existence alone. I want others to listen to what I have to say about what my life is like.

[whilomm]

EAS SYSTEM TEST FAQ:

"huh what"

theres a test of the emergency alert system (EAS) for the united states on wednesday oct 4th 2023, 2:20 pm est (with a second test planned on the 11th if this ones canceled). its the system they use for amber alerts, weather alerts (like tornados/floods/hurricanes), stuff like that. will be sent to TVs, radios, phones, even if alerts are muted as far as i know

"what why"

bc they gotta test emergency systems sometimes. this happens on occasion.

"what is the government planning this is suspicious"

no its not its just. a standard test. they happen. we just havent had this specific type of phone one for a few years, they dont gotta test it as often as like. physical tornado sirens.

"okay but like are they trying to instill terror this reminds me of the terrorism threat leve-"

if they were doing that they wouldnt have been warning people of the upcoming test several months in advance

"why havent i seen it anywhere except for tumblr"

bc u havent like. paid attention to news stuff.

"okay well how do i verify this how do i know this isnt a hoax????"

....search for the news articles pictured above and read them.

"okay but WHY this is ANNOYING why is it in the MIDDLE OF SCHOOL/WORK"

bc systems gotta be tested on occasion to make sure they aint broken when you actually need them, and probs the time with the least risk of waking ppl up and making ppl even more angry

"i completely understand the purpose and i dont think its a government conspiracy but i still dislike it bc loud sounds/secret phone/epilepsy/whatever other reasons ive seen ppl site"

yeah 100% fair, thats why i and others are trying to warn so that ppl arent caught off guard (even if my warning was missing info like the time bc im dumb), i set a couple of notifs to pop up beforehand so i dont forget and get surprised, do what u gotta do to keep urself chill. shut off your phone, wrap it in blankets, be in another room from all ur tech while the test is happening, wear earplugs, etc. hope you're good!

"that thing about phones still going off when turned back on..."

oh yeah idk if thats true or nah. but eh, better safe than sorry, assume ur phone may or may not still be loud when u turn it back on, and plan for it if needed. idk where ppl are getting this tho and havent seen it verified myself. just be careful if this applies to you. maybe shove it into a blanket before turning it back on.

"is it gonna activate my covid vaccine mind control nanotech"

idk man probably not

"YAAAAAY EXTREMELY LOUD SOUND WEDNESDAY!!!!"

omgg yayyy!!!!! 🥰🥰🥰

[antiendovents]

actually, since i already commented on your post about tulpas and how they pissed me off; im gonna do it again. in detail.

note: i am a former buddhist, i live in a buddhist country. (95% of thais are buddhists) and pretty much been surrounded by it. im asian. saying it before people jump at me because im terrified as shit

as i mentioned, tulpas are stolen and bastardized completely from a tribe of tibetan buddhists, and the practice itself isn't even a system thing. while thai buddhism and tibetan buddhism are different in their own way, i am very fucking pissed off that they just saw the concept of a thoughtform spirit that helps you meditate, overcome your fear and guide you to nirvana (because that's the main purpose of buddhism) and turn them into "oh! we make alters because we can due to our meditation and we're spiritual so that totally excuses using a generally closed practice! we're not harming anyone!" total bullshit.

i don't want (and sorry if i'm a bit mean) those bigoted fucks stealing basically my culture since im attached to buddhism in general, i grew up with it. and "tulpa systems" slapping it on themselves for the sake of being "unique". i have seen countless comments and posts about how its always the white/non asian people that say "no its not a closed practice, its not cultural appropriation :) actually you should be glad we're appreciating your culture in the first place" fuck off! appreciating culture is fine, but you bastardize it so much and dumb it down to just "making alters/imaginary friends" are you just hearing yourself? are you stupid? are you braindead? god, im getting so angry again.

i have also seen "tulpamancers" insulting actual asians like me who speak against tulpas, saying that we're just "asian token of a character" or that we're "closed minded" and should accept these assholes who dont know what theyre doing into my culture and blatantly disrespecting it, spitting on it and just taking one practice that fits their narrative. wow, talk about being appreciative while half of your community does shit like this to actual buddhists, huh? real nice of you. way to go, you cultural appropriating fucks. /vneg

i cannot count how many times asian culture is so whitewashed on the internet, people that just take our tradition and do whatever the hell they want with it, including making a system out of thoughtforms, which is not possible whatsoever. and for what? FOR WHAT? for your own sick entertainment and enjoyment of having a imaginary friend in your head? try dissociating so hard you cry yourself to sleep you absolute pillock. this is a very angry submission, but it just frustrates me so much. all of the insulting "yous" are directed towards "tulpamancers" that they proudly call themselves. by the way. sorry if it sounded like it was directed at you, im just so angry at the moment.

one last thing. Stop. Using. The Term. Tulpa. For your system. Please!!!!. tulpa systems are not a thing and will never be. End of story. Nothing will change that. Endos fuck off. im sick of your shit. thanks for reading my angry rant.

-azriel for the majority of this, rox/virus proofreading some of the parts, thanks for letting us vent ^^

i dont have much to add, please read this ^^

[guawowow]

Going crazy thinking about the complexities of Donatello and his relationship with his emotions in tottmnt just auuaua !!!!

Like, he's outwardly and unabashedly kind in this iteration and I'm SO here for it !!! And it doesn't diminish his ability to be snarky and witty, he still throws jabs at his brothers, but I feel like this donnie is a return to form in the sense that the center of his character, the motivation for his intelligence and penitent for creation, is kindness- more importantly, empathy.

routinely he is described as thoughtful, 'non-threatening', and usually very placid; we see mention of his temper when his computers are messed with, but he's extraordinary patient- polite, even- with the killer robot chasing him, subway security, and the deaf conductor, all while under high-pressure stress. When confronting the Mechazoids for the first time, he keeps them at a distance and straight up complements the engineering ingenuity! Same when confronting bishop in the subway! He talks enthusiastically, respectfully, with her about her system setup! His first instinct is to diffuse the situation, approach her with humility and establish common ground. Dude like even when running away from the Mechazoid he was always thinking of the people around him.. he was telling everyone to get out of the way, waited for cars to clear (his brothers just straight ran through traffic and jumped over moving carsss), tried to usher people away from train cars he was fighting in, etc. And in the narrated recaps between episodes, donnie is the first brother to consider bishops motivations in an empathetic manner, "maybe she has a tragic back story". Of course that serves as thematic foreshadowing buy he was still the first to offer the kindness of reason to bishops character, maybe there's a reason she's doing this, not just anger that she is.

Not to mention he full ass built a robot to protect his brothers and took the extra time to program in impeccable manners. just for funsies heheh. eueueu Metalhead my beloveddddd😭🙏💙💙💙💙

ALL THIS and yet still, in episode 10, donnie considers himself non-emotional. He says he's 'all left brained' and implys that he operates differently from his brothers who he considers more outwardly emotionally expressive. And yet, in the same episode, he spends a majority of it comforting wingnut. He lends his ear and speaks to her kindly even when her panic exasperates their situation, he doesn't get mad when she freaks out, he takes the time to talk things through with her and make her comfortable whenever able. Even when they think Leatherhead has unmutated, he's sad but tries to put himself in her situation and understand her actions. HES SO SWEET IT HURTS DUDE ❗️❗️❗️ main point being, I dont think he considers himself emotional because he operates on a mode of empathy that is reason driven. He's emotionally logical, of that makes sense. It shows an INSANE amount of emotional intelligence and maturity, I just don't think he understands that because to him, this is logical, and his brother are anything but.

For a majority of his life, the only other people he has to compare himself to are his brothers. When up against anxiety riddled Leonardo, chronically angry Raph, and Mikey's carefree disregard, of course he sees himself and goes, 'ah ok. I must be less emotionally prone because I don't react like they do to these situations'.

I think he just understands the whole social song and dance of understanding better than he thinks.

I know the whole thing with tottmnt is the aspect of unreliable narration, but even then! Like if Leo wrote donnie like this then it probably because he routinely displays this kind of understanding behavior. Plus idk bout yall but I kinda consider the events of tottmnt as like a blurry semi-cannon? I think there are nuggest of truth in there, the broad strokes yk? Like the flood arc referenced 'the bishop situation' like it was a thing that actually happened, albiet in passing, and not just something to poke fun at Leo. It's got legs, there's ideas there to work with ajaja

[jay-joy113]

First headcannons, might as well go all in

Twisted wonderland

How would the characters react to you being an absolute menace to society? Part 1

Riddle

Please stop, youll give him an early grave. Or dont, im sure Ace will find it funny as fuck to see you get collared for painting all the roses yellow or eating all the sweets end switching them for Meat rolls. If you end Riddle are dating he might ask if you have something

"My Rose, are you sure you dont have OCD or something?"

It might come off as very offensive if you are just a natural harbinger of chaos, or youll have a great day pranking him by telling that you DO have something, end if really have he will try his best to be more... *patient*

"Sigh... no, no, i wont scream, deep breathes control yourself they cant help it"

Leona

Are you **sure** you want to be near him when all you do is enough to wake the beast?

Might hate you at first if you go down on the "*lets prank a literal lion with magic whos also buff*" route, so your best choice to get on his good graces is annoying the teachers so they wont disturb his sleep, or annoy people he doesn't like.. wich is almost everyone.

"Herbivore, what did you do this time? Make it quick, im not in the mood to chat"

"Impressive for a herbivore, if i ever need an jester ill be sure to consider you... nah, you make a better pillow"

If you guys date he **WILL** make you calm the fuck down for cuddles

Azul

Youll give him an early grave 2.

Please never meet Floyd, hes begging you-

Too late, now he has 2 walking tornados full of too much energy.

Might make you banned from the lounge, if you dont behave or at least lock you on the VIP room.

"Pearl- Floyd- please stop breaking everything!"

Kalim

You are so fun! Wont you join his next feast-

Jamil hates you with all his guts, give him a break he already is almost a single mother at this point-

If you end kalim are together he will find you very lively, but youll discover sooner than later that he doesn't like when the joke goes too far.

"Why were you so mean to them? You should apologize so we can all be friends"

Not very funny to prank since hes almost never too scared of it end wont get too angry.

Vil

"POTATO, DID YOU PUT DYE ON MY SHAMPOO?!"

Does not enjoy your pranks end will demand you to stop them before he has to put you on watch by Rook.

You might find yourself on good manners lessons with Epel, who will break you out so he can ditch the class since Vil will be too busy with you.

Idia

You are NOT allowed in his room, even if you guys date. He cannot bet on the life of his precious merch end tech, even if he loves you a lot.

Will not hesitate to put a security system especialy for you if you ever do come to his room, wich will probably only make you unable to mess anything but wont hurt you.

"Nyshishi... my win, reader-sama"

Malleus

Are you related to Lilia?

He likes how lively you are, end does like your mischif, it feels very familiar end it shows you are comfy enough to do that with him.

That being said, the gargoyles are off limits.

DO NOT HARM THEM.

Or you might find a very pouty Malleus at your door in the middle of a storm.

"Beloved, i belive we talked about limits"

Thanks for reading

[kienansidhe]

i like how the nimona movie like. emotionally it feels like a sequel to the comic. like obvis its the same core characters and a lot of similar events so its not literally 1000 years after the events of the comic, but like tonally, thematically, it feels like it.

i liked the way the comic was a bit darker, both in terms of the characters moral complexity and in the way the ending was sadder, still hopeful but more the world isnt ready yet, theres hope for change but we arent quite there yet, nimona cant come back yet, shes still an outsider and cant live with her friends in the open even tho she knows they love her. its more the world as it is now.

i was a little frustrated at first at the way everyone is much less morally complex in the movie, theres a lot more clear cut none of the good guys ever did anything wrong rlly, it felt a bit sanitized (not rlly surprising given. you know. cost of being made by a big studio. but still disappointing). but at the same time theres some different themes being explored, and then the overall throughline is more hopeful.

i like how by making ballister both a man of color and more strongly emphasizing his background of poverty and how hard he had to work to make it as a knight, the way he is much less aware of the structural problems of society and tries to cling for awhile to oh its just the director who is the problem, it rlly gets into the model minority myth, the way you grow up being fed this lie that you arent being oppressed, that you just need to work harder, to prove to your oppressors that you arent lazy or lesser, both for yourself and for others like you. ballister in the comics already knows the system is broken, his quest is not to clear his name in the eyes of a flawed legal system, hes floundering but he knows the government is rotten. movie ballister is more naive, has to be guided to see that this is bigger than his own problem of being framed.

i like how nimona gets to be a hero in this story. the comic was a story of one person seeing the humanity in a monster, in a nimona who is much more angry and bitter and lashes out much harder. both stories have the theme of being saved by a single connection, by someone seeing you, acknowledging your personhood, but the comic sort of ends there. maybe someday the rest of society will understand, but they dont yet. maybe in another thousand years.

and then you get the movie, where nimona is softer (emotionally maybe bc of the comic thousand figurative years ago), but also sadder, less bitter and more despondent. its been another thousand years and she still isnt accepted. but things are different this time. nimona has enough hope that ballisters love and acceptance makes her want to save people, to change their perception of her. and she DOES everyone sees her as a hero she gets little kids making we love nimona drawings and its like ahhhhh this is the fulfillment of the promise at the end of the comic it feels SO good it feels like closure it feels like hope i love it so much!

[andie-platonically]

i dont think the rage stars fully invalidate kipperlily as a villain tho. if we take the metaphor that KPCK represents the kind of privileged white people who oppose affirmative action because they dont believe in systemic racism—and in fact sometimes believe it works the other way around—then the rage stars seem like they represent radicalization??

a seemingly normal person has a feeling like the world isnt fair. maybe they’re already angry. someone, maybe a teacher says, i know the source of your problems. its those people. if we get rid of those people you wont feel this way anymore.

yes, radicalization is inherently manipulative, and many people are radicalized at young ages, by authority figures that they trust. and you CAN be deradicalized. the rat grinders were pretty hazy when they were revived, but i hope they remember what they did because real people dont get to forget. they got out of there, but they have to reckon with the things they did while they were in.

but what about KLCK? i think it says something that she took the star willingly. yes she too was manipulated, but she saw a world that she felt was unfair, and she sought out anger and violence as a solution. im not going to say that any one person cant be deradicalized, but for some people it would take a hell of a lot of time and effort, and they would be fucking dangerous in the meantime. and when they’re actively trying to kill you & your friends…. it’s not your job to deradicalize them. it’s your job to survive.

idk like im probably not going to make any KLCK posts after this because i see a lot of divisions in the fandom and tbh i dont want to get involved in that, but like. i think there is tragedy in her story. but i dont expect the bad kids (victims of her hatred & violence & rage) to feel that sorrow. and i dont think it’s their job to forgive her, either.

[hellsgreatestfaggot]

Dom!Abby x Reader : Abby eats you out until you cum …

warnings: Slight Sadomasochism, forced stimulation, degredation, Hate-sex, fingering

*disclaimer* this is like the third smut fic ive ever wrote so erm it might be a little bad! anyway if you want to skip directly to the porn look for the ‘‼️‼️‼️’ ! leave suggestions and enjoy

_______________________________________________

It was the brisk morning of april 12th. You were walking alone in the mountains of what used to be the quiet, dainty town of los osos, California. You were on the road for 3 weeks, travelling from seattle to the coast. Trying to find the people who the WLF had made some sort of weird deal with. it wasnt easy, you were supposed to be traveling with someone, but you felt like you didnt need her. you could handle a mission on your own, right?

what irked you more was that your almost-was partner was your competitor. Abby Anderson. she’d been nice to you, she considered you two to be close, but youd eventually had grown jealous of her. her physique, her skillful way of getting the job done, her attractiveness.. yet still, even in your jealousy, something made you wish you could…was it be like her? be with her? be friends with her? honestly you didnt know and you could care less. she was the least of your problems.the leaves crunched underneath your boots, but then suddenly you heard a noise which made you stop dead in your tracks. “What the fuck made that noise?” you thought to yourself, slightly intimidated. You turned around to see a tall woman with a bulky figure and a leather coat, staring back down at you. you jumped back, not expecting someone to be behind you, but a wave of relief washed over you as you realized it was just Abby.

“Suprise”, said a low voice. “What the fuck Abby you scared me half to death?” “Sorry bout’ that , i didnt mean ta’ scare you.” she said with a laugh. “Whatever lets just get this shit over with.” you huffed. you hated her, hated the way she followed you, hated her smile, hated the way she stood behind you like some kind of bodygaurd. she practically towered over you. you needed to get it out of your system, you needed to desperately. you wanted to fuck her, but not nescesarily in a loving way, you wanted it to hurt. deep down you knew it was wrong to feel that way, she just made you angry. shed always been loyal and kind, maybe thats the reason you were still somehow drawn to her.

You walked with her for ages, talking about all sorts of things, from the mission, to your love life, until you stumbled upon a few houses just around the top of the mountains. “Its getting kinda late, why dont we stay here? just for tonight, well be back on the road by morning.” Abby asked, her Greenish-blue eyes looking you up and down, before meeting her eyes with yours and smiling gently. “Yeah sure..whatever..” You replied, desperately trying to ignore the cocky smile on her face.

Abby knew something was wrong. she couldnt quite figure out what it was? was it because she came anyway? Nah, she knew youd eventually need her. you both stepped inside one of the houses, making sure it was clear for the night. inside there was a living room, a bedroom, a kitchen, and a bathroom. kinda wimpy for a house but nonetheless it was better than nothing. You sat on the couch while abby took off her bulky jacket, revealing a almost see through white tank top. it flattered her muscular body perfectly. You felt your cheeks heat up, and started squirming, trying to adjust yourself without her noticing. But of course she noticed.

‼️‼️‼️

“Whats wrong, sweetheart…” she said calmly. “are you tired…? or do you just want sm’more?” she giggled. You tried to laugh it off but she sat next to you, grabbing on your thighs subconsciously, which just made you feel horny. You let out a sigh, thinking to yourself if you were really about to let her fuck you as if you were some sort of prostitute. yeah you totally were. A shiver ran down your spine as her cold hands traced over your thighs, your body yearned for her touch. “Lets make this quick, what do you say princess.?” She said in a low, raspy voice. You didnt wanna wait anymore, eagerly ripping your clothes off. itd been way too long since youd been touched, and maybe a hate fuck was what you needed?

She parted your thighs, removing your underwear which exposed your throbbing cunt. She could practically smell your exitement. Taking one finger and in one swoop, grazing over your heat. you Gasped, looking down at Abby, who just as you made eye contact buried her face into your sopping wet pussy. Her skilled tounge Lapping ferociously at your clit, Brought you close in a matter of seconds. just as you were about to finish she pulled away, a string of spit connecting the two to eachother. “Whyd you stop?” She glared up at you. “Stop fucking squiriming, Slut.” She grappled at your thighs holding them still, and immediately went back to eating you out. You felt tears well up in your eyes, you grabbed her hair, shoving her face even deeper, and grinding on her , desperate for any friction you could get. Her muffled grunts becoming more intense and focused as she inserted 2 fingers inside of your aching hole. “ahah..a-bby..” was all you managed to get out. you felt your orgasm approaching rapidly, Bucking your hips up, crying out for her to keep going. “Hnh…f-faster…a-ab-by..m’gonna cum…”

She looked up for a moment at the mess she was able to create, huffing under her breath, “fucking whore. cant get enough.” and diving back down, her tounge swirling on your sensitive bud. Your high hit you like a ton of bricks, and you came all over her face, exhausted. but she didnt stop, she kept going, forcing you to take the rest of her rough licking, riding out your orgasm. when she finally stopped she made eye contact with you and licked your juices off her fingers, and kissing you, forcing you to taste yourself. “good job princess… you did so well.” She planted a kiss on your neck before giving you her jacket, and cleaning up the mess you had made. you laid on top of her, and found yourself secure in the knowledge shed be there when you awoke.

_____________________________________________

A/N

i want to ride abbys face

This was pretty fun to write, leave some ideas or tips pretty please🙏🏽🙏🏽

[bapouro]

working at a badly funded and poorly run homeless hostel for over a year has taught me a lot but reassuringly solified my belief in compassion. we have some real dickheads here who have done terrible things (theyre in the minority) and witnessing that ive still never thought for a second that theyre undeserving of shelter, food, amneties and access to second chances. which is not anything someone should pat themselves on the back for but its really disappointing when some coworkers make comments like they dont.

the real problem seems to be that for our council, and society at large, as long as theyre not on the street and not in sight, thats as far as their issue with it seems to go. they want you off the street, but thats it. theres this insane cognitive dissonance where youre either a 'good' homeless person just in need of a leg up or a 'bad' homeless person who gets cycled around the system with little hope, as long as youre not in public view, as long as youre more or less kept alive. staffing is so important. ive worked two quite different places now but here the morale is so low. the turnaround is so high. support workers here are assigned about 20 clients per person when really you can only support around up to 5 responsibly. the building is full but we perpetually need staff in a place where nobody who genuinely wants to help without burning themselves out to do so will stay (not to mention they make £1 above minumum wage). you cant support people like that, and whats the point when these people feel set up to be put in stasis in this bad system. if you cant/dont work, you get housing benefits to pay the rent. if you do find work, your benefits are gone and all your money will go on the rent. the only ones who can seemingly successfully 'bootstrap' themselves out are the ones finding work in secret so nobody else can manipulate them and their new money, which has to be cash in hand to keep their benefits. youre going to feel stuck, if you feel stuck, you feel hopeless or lash out. lashing out at other people losing hope and staff losing the morale to properly help. we can tick off the boxes of basic rights and say theyve got what they need but beyond that, the support to a real quality of life does not feel like an objective in that system. some people will always be in this system, for whatever reason, they will have to have this proper support. they get treated as helpless and totally in a situation of their own making at the same time. its complex. its sad and infuriating. i wanted to write some of the thoughts ive experienced on it for a while. ive met all kinds of people. i wish there was more i could do but really its on structures a lot more powerful than me that are on the whole indifferent. but i guess thats the thing. i want to stay angry but im afforded that indifference. im lucky i dont have to be too anxious about falling into that system. it can be out of my sight, i dont want to let it out of mind. but for them, they cant have either.

[ggmom]

Yanno what gets me. Its that Phil very much had a defeatist attitude about the code monster and the federation. Like he was angry and willing to fight to the bitter end but we heard him say 'I dont think it matters - if the island wants the eggs dead they will be"

But Forever. Forever said no. No the island cant have richarlyson. The federation DOESNT get a say in everything we do. We can fight back in a way that specifically makes it impossible for the eggs to die. He built the hotel, he made the mega farms, he created a whole system of protection that ensures no eggs get hurt that everyone on the island knows how to use it language barriers be damned. The reason Pomme hasnt lost a life is because of all the work forever did.

And i love that. I love that so much. Theres so much love and hope in that that has completely turned around peoples attitudes with the eggs and against the federation.

Phil still holds strong in the belief that it is out of their control but I will always love the way Forever defiantly says 'No'

[nekropsii]

im thinking about the relationship between kankri and porrim because its just so fucking WEIRD like theyre obviously important to eachother or care about eachother to some extent but we dont really know why?? like they dont seem to get along very well

she patronizes him constantly (which is VERY loaded considering they lived on fucking beforus) and ignores his boundaries (calling him patronizing nicknames he doesnt like, wiping his face while he tried to push her off) and he constantly makes insensitive bitchy bigoted comments that go against all of her values and make her angry

and theres not the same dynamic dolorosa and signless had where she raised him like theyre the same age so why do they even talk to eachother?? what is their relationship?? like were they childhood friends or something?? itd make sense if they were both a little different as kids and therefore got along better but then why do they still talk to eachother when they really dont now ITS SO WEIRD

It's... Complicated. They go way back, as far as I can tell.

The way I see it, they do not have a "Mother and Son" relationship- I find that most who assert this often place far too much maturity onto Porrim, who is literally 19 years old. It's more like an Adoptive/Found Sibling relationship between someone with a severe case of Eldest Daughter Syndrome and the social conditioning of a higher-end Midblood on Beforus, and someone with a chronic case of Only Child and the social conditioning of a Mutant Lime on Beforus. The relationship makes more sense to me when you view it this way. It's just... A fraught sibling relationship, formed under societal pressures we can't even fathom. Porrim Maryam, trained by society to cull those beneath her, trying hard not to, and for the most succeeding outside of someone very close to her, and Kankri Vantas, culled and isolated his whole life, becoming a total suck-up to the deeply misogynistic, ableist, hemoloyal culling system as both a method of self defense and as a wielding of the only weapon he really knows. It was used against him all the time, and it works, doesn't it? If sucking up to Able-Bodied Male Highbloods and ridiculing everyone beneath that golden standard is the best way to ensure safety, then he's gonna do it. He's essentially a lifelong voter for the Leopards Eating People's Faces Party.

Ultimately, I think what keeps Porrim by his side is that... I think she believes in him. It's like watching yourself lose your sibling to the Alt-Right Pipeline. I think she thinks he doesn't actually believe most of what he's saying, and that this is all deeply reflexive. She's smart enough to recognize the real systemic issues at play here, and that he's essentially caught in chains between 5 different machines that all want him dead. And she's right. When you actually read the shit Kankri's saying, it becomes almost immediately apparent that he's spouting bullshit, and that he absolutely knows this. I think what keeps Kankri by her side is that he knows she cares about him. There isn't any denying it. She might infringe on boundaries, or be generally annoying to him, and keeps doing that frustrating little thing called seeing through his and everyone else's bullshit and calling them out on it- not just including but especially his- but she cares. I think he knows that at the end of all things what he'd have left is her. Is this to say that if you got Kankri to grow a spine and genuinely believe in things that aren't spoonfeedings of the latest Conservative Highblood Talking Point/Psy-Op, he'd be a good person? Hell no. No way. He has a raging savior complex and is way too eager to throw other people under the bus and insult/ridicule them to their faces. He's an asshole. Just completely slimy.

But, again, sibling relationships know no bounds. This kind of dynamic just feels so... Realistic to me. The way their relationship is so strained but still so strong and ongoing just feels so human. I don't know. This is pretty meandering, I just think about them a lot.

[curryswirl]

ive seen a lot of responses to this post that are clarifying what they think "make art for yourself" is intended to mean-- that its not really referring to making it for no one to view but rather its referring to what you make and why. and i just wanted to do a little follow up and say that you guys are definetly correct in a lot of instances~ in those instances, i in fact agree, also. i do think determining what you want to make via what you think people will like ONLY is probably an unhealthy way to create (although it can certainly be a component of your decision making), just as i think doing it for ONLY likes and numerical engagement is not the way to be either!

i was specifically responding to cases where i have seen people problematize the desire to have ones art seen at all, though-- something i have come across frequently, too. i wouldnt be suprised if this was an extreme evolution of the former, as that tends to be the case for heavily parroted rhetoric online.

it was an angry post and i stand by it, but i do apologize if it made anyone feel like they are "doing it wrong" or whatever. in truth, i think my motivation for making the post stems from, at its root, the sadness i feel when people blame other people for the tendecies that have been incentivized wrt engagement online... and i would never want to make anyone feel that exact way.

like, some people also identified the problem as due to "people not caring enough to reblog" or some other cultural shift due to individual shortcomings. i dont think thats completely and utterly untrue in all cases, but in my opinion much of this behavior is due to the platforms we engage on, and the behavior they incentivize, not some modern widespread negligence of artists by individual people.

websites are set up the way they are because long form, complex engagement does not make as much ad revenue. over a long period of time, users have been conditioned to scroll quickly and see more ads because thats what the UI encourages... and those who post are conditioned to desire a climbing number of likes/notes/whatever, because shorter and shorter dopamine hits have diminishing value.

there is intention behind every website beginning to look the same. there is intention behind every aspect of a user interfaces design. and it is my belief that this has caused it to be less rewarding to take time to leave a comment or to stay on one post for a long period of time.

if you combine that with the general, worsening life experience of the working class-- with the emotional fatigue, the intellectual drain... the amount of ignoring you have to do, the amount of swallowing of horrible, seemingly unchangeable horrors day in and day out just to bare living on this earth, you get an emotionally exhausted populace that does not have the time or energy to truly invest in engaging with art.

this is not your fault. this is not your peers fault. if youre not a billionaire, a capitalist of influence or in a position of power or authority, its probabaly not your fault either.

i guess what im trying to say is please continue to strive to punch up, and to always question the systems that incentivize our behavior before you turn to punching sideways and criticizing the people who are living in the same world as you. empathy is everything, and its all we have.