#we'll never know what happened next. and we're unlikely to know what happened before it. even

[nocturnesanomaly]

Chapter 5: Is your blood authentic?

(Series Masterlist: Divine Violence) (Read on Ao3) (Inspired Playlist)

Series: The Divine Violence - chapter 5: Is your blood authentic?

Wordcount: 6.1K

Pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x John "Soap" MacTavish x Gn!Reader

TW: (View masterlist for series tw and tags) - DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT, Religious Trauma, PTSD, Flashbacks, Hallucinations, Anxiety, Paranoia, Disturbing themes, Grooming, depiction of suicide, self harm, blades

Description: You make plans to finally ship out, getting ever closer to your fate.

A/N: Hope you enjoy my work!

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Simon has been absolving his distance a lot faster than you can handle.

He did as he promised, tries to go slow and from the beginning, yet the history between the two of you prevent you from feeling like it's a true beginning. It feels like you're both hiding from it, the looming truth over either of you. He doesn't fully know what happened, he doesn't know why your pen pal ship ended.

Even when it had begun it was tense, more distant than you wanted. Yet you clutched onto those letters from him like lifeline, no matter how much it burnt to read them over and over again, to whisper his words out in the night like a prayer.

You had wet those papers with your tears, crushed them, tore them and taped them back together. You had held those papers tightly in your hands, much like how you hold the files on the man you're meant to detain.

"We have to be discreet, if he senses something is up, he could get spooked and skip" Price proposes. He's holding a fat cigar between his lips; the smoke makes you dizzy. When he had originally been gracious enough to ask if it was alright, you had been enough of a sucker to nod your head.

Simon stood beside you in a rigid stance. He had said nothing either, so who were you to deny the captain his bread and butter.

"It's a small-time, close-knit community but new residents aren't foreign, tourists even less so. If we pose as one of them, stay low, don't attract attention nobody should suspect as anything other than another group of careless tourists." You offer up your idea to the room. You wish he would open a window.

Captain Price takes another long drag from his cigar; he keeps the smoke in for so long you think he might actually choke on it before he let's it go. "Hm, not a bad idea, gives us the advantage" his eyes flicker to Simon taking note of his careful gaze towards the scattered plans on the table.

"Ghost?"

You don't know when he turned this quiet. Even when you were kids, he was never the most talkative person in the class, but he was never this brooding. He's honed his focus a lot more over the years, you wish you could say the same for yourself.

You really wish the captain would open his window. Not only is the smoke starting to smell bad, but the smoke is already hazing the already dimly lit office. Meeting this late in the evening hadn't been your ideal choice, but the captain is a busy man as he said.

"If they find us out, we could be overrun quicker than we could defend ourselves" Simon speaks up after a moment of thought, "we have no idea how many they actually have."

"It's a risk we'll have to take if we're meant to make any progress," Price says while still holding clear consideration for the lieutenant’s proposed dilemma. Simon was objectively right, if the collective were to get aggressive it's likely they wouldn't be able to fend them off. Still death was an unlikely scenario, it wouldn't be their first resort.

He doesn't seem keen on the idea either way. "Even with Spider's intel it's a lot of uncertainty, what they have brought is extensive but...not much in the same lane," he glances towards you. His eyes say nothing but his gesture seems almost apologetic. You don't get why.

Most of the intel you brought on the cult was extensive but only scraped the tip of the iceberg. The things you once knew about the cult could have been changed, and most of the things you had on paper got burned when you went into hiding. All you had now was the few official documents that still counted, and your memory that often times don't serve you all that well.

"Spider?" Price asks confused. Your stomach drops. It hadn't even registered in your brain that he had used the nickname in front of a superior. "You two made up then," he smiles.

What.

"We're fine," Simon interjects before you can cast that bewildered glance you so desperately want to, "civil."

"Works for me," Price shrugs his beard creasing in a weird way when he adjusts his smile. "Spider could work for a good callsign, should you ever consider joining up with us again," he proposes. He is getting way ahead of himself.

"Unlikely..." you whisper quietly in response, the word concealed behind a heavy exhale. "We'll need to make our move soon. We don't actually know whether he will be in one town or the other, and if he is how long will he be."

"I'll clear it with Laswell and with any luck we ship out in the evening, there's no use delaying" Price concludes with a nod "can't waste our talents away here when we're needed out there."

Johnny hasn't felt this anxious in a long time. It borders excitement, but he wouldn't dare call it that openly. The promise of actual direction, the promise of being able to do something worthwhile, plus an interesting new recruit with them left him buzzing with newfound energy.

It has him pacing back and forth in his room, still with energy in his muscles even after Simon had dragged him to the gym in an attempt at tiring him out. "Would you calm down," Simon grumbles at him when he continues to pace back and forth.

The mental checklist in Johnny's head kept getting disordered. He had already packed what he needed for mission; it was an indefinite stay so the restrictions on what he could bring was more lax than usual. He doubted they would get much free time between the work they needed to conduct, but he'd be damned if he didn't put in some time to relax with his sketchbook.

There was a lot to keep focus on, a lot to keep track of and with his brain already focused on the wrong things it was difficult to not get into a frustrated confusion. "Johnny," Simon calls out when he doesn't stop.

He still doesn't answer, and keeps walking back and forth between the duffel bag in front of the bed and the dresser in the other side of the room. He needed to recheck his clothes. Did he have enough socks?

"Johnny."

He did have his pen, right? Extras. He should get extras if there was still space. Who knows how long they'd be staying, until they had something more concrete on the target mayhaps, more likely until there was a more finalized outcome on the whole thing.

"MacTavish..."

He really hoped it wouldn't surpass Christmas. His mother would be furious if he didn't make it home, it's been too long since he was able to see her and the rest of the family again, and despite Simon's apprehensions he knew they'd all want to see him too now that they've finally warmed up to each other.

"Hey! MacTavish, come help me."

Like a chord snapping in his brain, he spins on his heel to come plop down to his knees Infront of the bed where Simon has been sitting impatiently. "What is it," he huffs out looking up into his partners eyes. They had a way of being so expressive even behind the mask and the eye black, it had taken him a long time to learn to read them properly.

"Hold it," Simon hands off a small roll of support bandages into his hands. Johnny gives him an unimpressed look. Simon had been struggling with pains in his wrist, which was ironic as that was usually where he ended up himself with excessive drawing.

"Ye should really change it...get this one washed" he scrunches his nose up pretending there was a smell to get the dramatic effect across.

"I'll do it before we go," Simon mumbles and stretches out his wrist so it pops. His mask twists when, as Johnny assumes, he pulls his face into a grimace. "What's on your mind love," he mumbles out afterwards.

"All of it," Johnny huffs nursing the roll in his hands.

"Out of the ordinary?"

"Yeah, just everything about them," he thinks back to you, back to the meeting. You had been an antsy thing ever since he met you. He had chalked it up to you being shy, but later on he realized that wasn't exactly the case. You weren't as much shy as you were just anxious 99 percent of the time.

"Been getting along with them?" Simon reaches out to grab the roll from him again.

"Let me..." he mumbles reaching out to take a hold of Simon's wrist instead. He begins wrapping it around just like how he wants.

"Yeah, I have," he continues. "Ah think anyway..."

"They're difficult," Simon characterizes you rather nonchalant.

"They're new," Johnny corrects him, "they just need a little time, a little push. I still remember what you were like when I first met you, cold bastard"

"I remember you to be a pain my arse" Simon scoffs and turns over his hand so it's easier to wrap the rest of it.

"Still am sir" He answers cheekily.

He finishes the last wrap around his wrist, sealing it with the two little clasps. He watches as Simon retracts his hand, flexing it and almost stretching it too much before he could stop him. He had been there a few times himself; he knew how restrictive it felt, but any rest would do. It would be hard to get more rest for it when they deployed very soon.

"I like them," Johnny perks up again. "They can be charming in their own way; ah don't even have to drag them to lunch anymore they come willingly."

Simon snorts quietly in response, huffing out amused.

"Ah think yer little talk helped them calm down a bit, they seem more relaxed around me and Garrick too. Still tense but..eh...relaxed. Not so much of a laugh that one, but ah think they just need a bit more time, they have a funny side ah can feel it," he says with a light-hearted smirk.

"Lot of hope coming from you, taking a real liking to them then?" Simon asks, little crinkles forming in the corners of his eyes indicating the smirk beneath his mask.

"Can't tell me ye haven't? Used to like 'em something fierce didn't ye?" Johnny turns a suggestive look, one that is only reciprocated by a groan from his partner. He slowly rises off the floor and back to his feet, his knees starting to throb from the harsh wooden panels.

"That was a long time ago," Simon reaches out for him, puts his hands on his hips to pull him closer.

"But you did. They are a cute one, I definitely see the appeal" Johnny lifts a suggestive eyebrow. Though he somehow doubted it would happen, it wouldn't be the first time they had shared a person, it wouldn't be last if it turned out like it always did. For a brief moment he allowed himself to indulge in a pointless fantasy.

"Careful, Johnny. You don't know them like I do."

"Yeah, well ah seem to have a lot of luck with dark, gloomy, emotionally constipated bastards," he says with a smirk on his face. Simon's hands squeeze the meat on his thighs.

"I don't think they're interested in us like that. Don't got half a mind to know what they've been through; they seem very determined to get the job over and done with quick."

Johnny scoffs at that. He had always found it amusing how Simon couldn't see what was right in front of him. He was right that you weren't showing the same interest that Johnny was looking for, but the subtle attention you put into the details of your surroundings was noticeable.

"Ye have no idea how they look at ye then," Johnny blows air out through his nose, "got ways to go in warming up to myself but ye...ye already got them locked in."

"Easy." Simon says his hands traveling up to grab Johnny's wrists. It gets his attention, gets him to pause. "Just..." Simons clears his throat, "Just go easy on them, we don't know how they'd even feel about that. It's hardly professional, and they don't seem enticed in anything that isn't."

"Bit stuck up then?" Johnny mentions cheekily.

His smile drops when Simon gives him a look. "I'll go easy Simon, jus' jokin' around..." he turns his smile warmer, more welcoming to ease the looming anxiety that's no doubt building in his partners chest.

Johnny brings his hands to Simon's shoulders. They glide over them, squeezing at pressure points he knows gets his partner to relax. He trails his hands up, letting them hold the sides of his neck.

He doesn't miss the way Simon's breath hitches. He smiles at it, only satisfied when Simon finally allows himself to close his eyes and release the air in his lungs through a deep sigh. It wouldn't be the first time they would have invited a third into their bed, though he can see how this would be different for Simon.

He's typically not this worked up over a person. Then again this would be the closest Simon had to family that was still left, and he hadn't even been in contact for years. While he had originally meant the suggestion as a joke to lighten the mood, Simon hadn't exactly said no. It got further questions to stir in his mind, he would make sure to get answers one way or another eventually.

"At the end of the day it's jus' a mission like any other," Johnny reassures him, "with them or not."

Simon stirs, leans forward to bury his face in Johnny's stomach. It makes him feel mushy inside. "I'll tell you eventually...everything." Simon mumbles against him.

"I know..." he let's out a soft breath of relief, his arms moving to encircle around Simon's head instead. He leans down to place a kiss on his scalp. "Whenever ye're ready, we've done this before" he reassures him.

By nightfall it's reaching freezing temperatures. None of the clothes on your body is yours, and its warmth feels superficial. The plane is different than what you're used to, not so much packed to the teeth as what you'd have thought. Laswell was already having your new place of residence prepared with everything you needed.

You had always known her to be a resourceful woman. There wasn't much you could ask of her that she wouldn't be able to get you, the only real question was whether she wanted to or not.

Gaz took your bag from you, throwing it with the rest under a couple of seats. He had clearly stopped questioning your lack of belongings, though he seemed to find it no less weird.

"You got everything?" he asks looking you over as if you were supposed to be hiding something beneath your fuzzy jacket. You nod your head, finding no energy to offer him a verbal response.

The rest had already settled in, with their own things tucked neatly away. You didn't miss a lot about the military, but there was something to be said about the clean order enforced.

You walk past Simon and Soap, sparing them half a glance. Their hands are pressed against each other, a sorry attempt at making their affection subtle. You take a seat besides the captain. He's got a beanie on, tucked into a coat looking just as fuzzy as your own.

His eyes are closed, head tilted back, his hands folded neatly in his lap as if he were in a meeting. "You got a problem spider?" he asks amused, sensing your stare. Your chest heats up, your neck too from the sudden rush of blood.

You can't decide whether you dislike the new nickname or not. It sounds weird coming from his mouth; it sounds weird coming from anyone but Simon. It had been something intimate once, then it died along with some old memories, only to be reawakened on the wrong tongue.

"No sir."

You rip your eyes away from him, you could admire his beard from afar. The spiking pain you've been ignoring starts to come back through your nerves when you start to feel something warm and smooth trickle in your palm. Masking your hand with your other, you unwrap the chain from your wrist and pry the little crucifix from your skin. You wipe the fresh blood on your cargos, taking a moment let yourself linger on it.

You're getting closer to the source now, closer than you've been in a long time. There was little chance to back out now, but you knew you still wanted to. The only thing to carry you forward back into the den of wolves were the pure hatred you held for it. You could do little from afar, you needed to get in real close if you were to set it ablaze one last time.

You could already see it in your mind. Another system set on fire, coated in oil and with a single lighter flame, you could burn it all down like you were taught to. You could bring down the hellfire on the right person this time.

"Oh, are ye religious?" the feint Scottish accent pulls you out of your fiery thoughts. You clutch the chain back into the little wound you've created. It stings beautifully.

"No."

Liar, liar, liar.

You tuck it back around your neck, hiding it beneath the layers that feel foreign on your skin. It's heavier than normal.

The chain rests comfortably beneath the military slacks that was just one size too big. Your heart is all the way up in your throat, pounding furiously against your ribcage. You had been ignoring the nausea for the last 10 minutes, but one encouraging clap on your back from a teammate had you bucking over and heaving for air.

You could still hear his mocking laugh at the sight.

When you had finally agreed to join up, you had expected it to be hard but not this excruciating. You'd had at least 10 thoughts of quitting this morning alone. Though you couldn't deny there was a sense of community among your teammates, you also couldn't seem to penetrate the invisible barrier that kept you from being apart of that community.

The sun is blaring atop the blue sky making it hard to see. Sweat dripples down your forehead, you no longer know whether it's from the heat of the sun, or from the drills you've been running the entire morning.

Everybody here had their own layer of cruelty to them. It could loud and brash like the group on base that you always made sure to avoid, or it could be quieter more calculated. Ones you had fallen for more than once before learning your lesson. You tiptoed around it, making yourself just good enough to qualify without standing out terribly much.

"You alright?"

You raise your head to look at her. About the only person you could rely on even a little here. You had joined up around the same time, through the same unconventional way. She had taken notice of you first, practically pushed her way through the crowd to introduce herself to you specifically. The weirdness of it in general was still throwing you off till this day.

"Thanks, Emma...yeah I'll live" you accept her outstretched hand offering support despite not truly needing it. At least she had always been nice, never demanding.

She claps her hand over your back, letting out the sweetest sunshine giggle you've ever heard. It makes you want to barf, yet you can't help but love it all the same. A nice cooling gust of winds pass the two of you, and her hand shoots up in a protective manner for her hair. She was still seeming to struggle with her new hairstyle, long black hair wound up in the tightest bun known to man. How her scalp isn't hurting constantly you have no idea.

"Don't worry, lunch will be here soon, can get some nutrition into you- "

A loud whistle interrupts her and sets everyone into motion. She quickly grabs onto your arm to pull you over in the forming line. You do your best to bite back on the hiss of pain, when her thumb presses down on the bruise beneath your long sleeves.

You straighten your back after she has practically shoved you into formation, eager to have you do it right on time. Her own version of a kind gesture after you came last three times in a row, and got pointed out even more than that.

One of your superiors starts walking down the line with someone else awfully familiar. You keep your eyes straight whenever your superior looks your way, but you manage to catch a glimpse of who he is. The man who got you into the whole thing in the first place. You hold back the excitement in your chest.

He stands tall, a true leader, blonde hair sleeked back and an expression on his face that would send any recruit running. It makes you smile. You had a lot to learn from him, and he had promised to teach you.

Your eyes dart to a furry companion he had brought. A big dog, you think. It looks a little too big to just be a dog, a little too wild for you to trust it wouldn't bite. It walks perfectly in line with him, it's tail swaying slowly behind it. Its coat is beautiful if it wasn't for the giant red cross painted across its head and down it's muzzle.

It has something uneasy stirring in your stomach. You force your gaze back up, catching yourself staring at him, he's staring back. He nods towards you, and sends you a smile that makes your legs feel like jelly.

His office is pristine. Not a single thing out of place, not a speck of dust to be found. It didn't get used often. He was always out travelling between places of God knows where, doing things that was to prepare for His grand plan. Or so he said anyway.

"Come in," he calls on you, your name sweet on his lips like the beckoning echo of weeping angels. He'd finally show you the way, like he had promised in the graveyard turned to ash. His elbows rest on his desk, his chin prepped on top of his folded hands as he regards you with a cold gaze.

You advance without falter in your step, coming to a stop at a more respectable distance. The same overgrown dog was resting in a corner of the room. Its black eyes follow you your every movement, as if just waiting for the command to strike at you.

"I'm not going to waste your time with menial formality," he slides an open convolute across the table, yet it's still too far away to read the small text. A formal invitation he clearly doesn't expect you to actually read.

"You'll be finishing your basic training soon, and what will happen to you next will be decided." He takes a moment to watch your reaction, but you remain stoic, giving him a simple nod in confirmation. "I've made a couple of deals to have you transferred directly under my care for my own initiative. All I need is for you to...agree to it," his tone turns leading, his eyes never leaving yours.

"Ofcourse, I'll agre-"

He speaks your name sternly, cutting you off before you can go on your rant about how you were practically ready to devote your life to this thing, whatever it was.

"I need to know that you'll be in it, truly in it. This new project is unconventional to what you've previously been exposed to. It will test your patience, your willpower, your faith. Do you believe you have the strength for it? Do you believe your blood is authentic? and will you be ready to spill it for the cause being run in His name?"

You nod fast. Too fast.

"Good, I didn't expect anything else from you. You'll be finishing your training here, I believe there may be others among your rank that would be inclined to join our cause as well, I expect you to find them and lead them towards the path."

He looks at you with an unrivalled determination, a fire roaring loud and hot inside him to drive him towards his goal. His expression doesn't leave much room for question or doubt, and before you can even comprehend what you're agreeing to, you take the first real step in.

"Don't worry, I have someone in mind, sir."

It's a little cabin in the distance. Laswell hadn't promised anything luxurious, you were there on "vacation," but you apparently couldn't afford something proper closer to the town itself. Still the sorry thing that tips over in hill in the distance made you want to turn around and walk the 30 minutes back to the plane.

You knew it was going to be an uncomfortable few weeks, if the ache in your body had anything to say for it. You had already declared snow your new mortal enemy in the first ten minutes of walking through the forest and sinking into the ground with each step.

There had already been the expectation and the preparations for a colder climate, but you hadn't expected to have snow up to your midthigh in some areas. Luckily it didn't go that deep near the dedicated paths. Some of them must be irregularly cleaned for tourists.

You've been walking at an irregular pace yourself, getting continuously passed by the others until Simon fell into step with you a few minutes ago. He blends in with his surroundings uncannily, each step he takes is thought out, quieter than the rest. You don't doubt that he's made an impeccable soldier, back in your own prime he'd likely have been able to take you down with minimal struggle, if size was something to go off of.

The fatigue was already starting to enter your legs, your brain fighting hard to not give into any brain fog. You could only hope you wouldn't catch a cold from the drastic change in environment. Price shouts out something you don't quite hear, but you know what he wanted to say. You're finally here.

It looks a lot bigger when you're this close. A one story that makes itself look better than it is by raising its roof higher, giving the illusion of more space when none of it is utilized. Soap and Gaz are getting agitated the more Price struggles with the keys.

Simon comes to a stop a few steps behind you. He's always back there, trekking behind everyone else. You'd be lying if you said it didn't make you a little antsy. Price utters a loud curse you haven't heard before when he finally gets the door to budge open.

The five of you seem to have pretty much the same idea of immediately throwing the heavy bags in a big pile on the floor. The fire is already going. Whoever you were renting this from atleast knew a little about hospitality.

"Finally," Gaz groans, stretching out his arms till they give off a nasty pop, going to do the same with his neck.

Soap is the first to go on a little exploration adventure through the living room you stepped into, the open kitchen at the end, and the smaller hallway connected to them both. You had been right, not as big as mistakenly advertised.

"Aye...no food though, going to have to do some shopping asap!" Soap shouts from the kitchen followed by a louder bang, likely having been the fridge door.

You internally thank yourself for packing an extra lunch you could eat as breakfast the morning after, should your stomach allow it.

"Really, this the best Laswell could scrounge up?" Gaz says frustratedly, "I saw at least four better options on the way to this isolated thing."

"Be grateful you get a roof over your head sergeant, it'll do" Price responds in a tone no less frustrated. He didn't seem to be any happier with the place than his subordinate. You couldn't really put fault on either of them, it was far from stellar only the necessities to remain inconspicuous. 

Simon acquires the keys from Price, promptly doing his own little surveillance to make sure all the doors and windows had proper locks on them, and that they were in fact locked. You weren't the only one skittish about this place.

"Alright round up everyone, for tonight you are ordered to rest. It's been a long day, I know some of you are weary from the flight," he gives you a pointed look that feels almost accusatory. Soap walks back to little circle you had unintentionally formed, dragging Simon with him by his sleeve on his way.

"We don't have a lot of space to deal with so, Garrick and I will be the taking the smaller room at the end of the hall, Ghost, Soap and Spider can share the bigger one, figure out sleeping arrangements amongst yourselves."

"Only two beds, shouldn't be a problem for you two to share" Gaz says in a joking tone, putting a hand on Soap's shoulder that gets almost immediately shaken off. You keep your eyes to the ground. It wasn't any of your business. You fear they take notice.

"You're grown adults, I expect you to be able to figure it out," Price says already laying the ground rules of don't disturb him today. "I will be turning in, I suggest you all do the same, the real work starts tomorrow."

"Yeah yeah" Simon grumbles in a lower voice than normal, putting a firm hand on Soap's back to steer him away from the conversation before it drags out. Wordlessly you follow them down the hall, keeping a greater distance, at least as much as the narrow way would allow.

"Better not be cramped" Soap grumbles turning the handle and using more force than necessary on the door. It was his lucky day. The room was a lot more spacious than you had imagine it to be, it almost makes you feel bad for the captain and the other sergeant that they didn't opt for this one.

Two beds, two dressers, a big mirror on top of one of them and large windows at the end of the room looking onto the snowy mountains. It was better than you'd had in over a year, you had little to complain about.

Mountains. The mountains. The idea strikes you like a quiet zap of electricity. If the cave systems were still accessible it would be a viable place to investigate. If you knew the cult well, and you did, they were likely going to put the old pathways to use again.

Soap says something you don't catch as he walks over and claims one of the beds for him and Simon. You walk and claim the other one by placing your duffel on top of it. It was going to be weird sleeping next to them, or opposite of them. You could only pray that you wouldn't be visibly weird about it

"Ah guess It won't be so bad," Soap let's out a relieved sigh, finally able to dispose of some of the heavier gear and clothes that kept him warm.

"As Price said, it'll do" Simon agrees with a quiet hum and nod of his head.

Soap starts to roam around the room, opening the closet doors, moving the curtains around, stifling his curiosity the practical way. "Well should do, we have enough space, plenty of closet space for each of us, a damn good scenery out the window, can almost excuse it for a small vacation."

"Going to be far from a vacation this," you chuckle quietly, slightly enthused by his own newfound excitement over your living space.

"We should keep the curtains closed; we're exposed like this" Simon ever so practical walks over tugging on the curtains. He leaves it halfway open to let some light in while the sun was still up. It wouldn't be long before it would descend again and cloak the woods in a thick darkness.

"What do ye reckon is in there?" Soap gestures towards the door behind you. He walks a little close as you turn around to inspect it yourself. You hadn't even noticed it when you first claimed your bed. It's awfully close too, perhaps you could move your bed a bit further away from it so it wouldn't bother you if anyone should go in there, or out of there.

"Don't know...more closet space?" it's meant as a joke but turned away from them you can't see their reactions. You place your hand on the handle. It's ice cold. Your eyebrow furrows. The rest of the room had been comfortably warm, not even chilly despite the icy temperatures outside.

You open the door towards you to take a look inside. You feel your blood run cold. Your body freezing in place. Your hand gripping the handle impossibly tighter.

It's a bathroom. Ugly tile floor, small toilet to the right, sink next to it, shower right in front. You could almost have missed the blood from how well it mixes in with the orange tiles. But it's hard to ignore the body.

Her dead eyes are staring you down. Her last accusatory yet sad words are still on her lips unspoken. Her body is still wet from the water, the blood pooling from her arm mixing in with the water on the floor too. Her naked body is still littered with scars from head to toe. Though the cut going from wrist down her forearm hadn't been meant to add to the collection.

It had been final.

Intentional.

You can feel the glint of metal in the corner of your eyes. You don't need to look down to your feet to know that the blade is there. You can feel the blood coating your own arms, tainting the door handle with your sin.

Do you feel it yet? The pressure?

The shadows pool around her, grasping at her skin, pulling at her flesh.

They'll know. They'll dig dig dig. They'll cast you out to the wolves.

You don't know what she wants with you now, what she wanted with you then. You can't remember, your brain a vast empty space, a mere echo of who she was. There's a chill in your bones, something lost and angry, wanting you to know and answer. You still haven't answered it.

You try to remember her name, her significance to you. A misplaced droplet of blood runs down her forehead. The red complimented her complexion well. It had been her favourite colour.

"Hey.....hey....you okay?" his voice is muffled, far away, in a different reality from yours. He's going to reach you eventually, they all are. They'll see it all eventually, they'll figure it out, distrust you for it, abandon you, punish you.

Soap places his hand on your shoulders and your reflexes fire like a gun. You grab his wrist hard, looking at him with an angered look that only lasts a second before you tuck far away. His eyes widen, guilty entering his features as he removes his hand and puts them up in defeat.

"Woaah, sorry didn't mean to scare ye," he starts off in a gentling tone "ye weren't answering, it's just a bathroom, right?"

"Oh fuck...yeah...I zoned out" you excuse it moving a few steps back. The back of your knees hit the edge of the bed. You look back into the bathroom. Orange tile, toilet, sink, shower. She's gone. Soap nods looking in himself, to your luck he seems to let your weird reaction go, yet you can still feel Simon's stare in the back of your neck. You don't turn around to meet it.

You bite your lip, keeping your eyes on the bathroom as if she would appear again. You almost wish that she would, because you know who she is, who she was to you. You've always known, as if you could ever forget it.

Her name had been Emma, and she was the first to die.

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[nicoleheichou]

Girl Of My Dreams - Chapter 49: Know That Look

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Synopsis: Sakusa was the type to always get things done on his own, but now that he's forced to juggle between his successful pro-volleyball career and being a single dad, what happens when he enrolls his daughter in a new preschool and meets his daughter's new teacher? Will their relationship remain professional or will it evolve into something more?

You were sat at the dining table, having just finished up breakfast along with Sakusa and his family. Kimi let's out a sigh from beside you before leaning back in her chair and patting her tummy with both hands. "Now that hit the spot!" You hear chuckles from around the table, clearly everyone was as enamored with the toddler as you were.

"What are your plans for today, son?" Sakusa's father questions while taking a sip of his tea. You watch as Sakusa just shrugs, an arm coming to wrap around your shoulders. "We're just going to see where the day takes us." His parents nod, satisfied with the answer before his mother starts to clean up, causing you to spring on to your feet to help.

Today you weren't going to give in to her protests, you wanted to help clean up especially since Kiyoomi's sister, Kiyoko, wasn't here to help clear the mess away. "Is there anything you want to do while you're here?" His mother questions as she hands you a plate to dry. You glance towards the entrance of the kitchen, catching a glimpse of Kimi in the living room with her grandpa and dad. Judging from the conversation she'd just convinced her grandfather to read her a story.

You shake your head, a smile forming on your lips as you hear the young girl's giggles. "I just wanted to spend time with them. It didn't matter where." You place the last dish on the drying rack just as his mom finishes putting the rest of the leftovers away. "In that case, why don't we go out? Just the two of us. I think it'd be nice to get to know you better. You've clearly won over my son and grand daughter." You were hesitant to be alone with her, at least here Sakusa and Kimi were just a few feet away, but if you left with her you wouldn't have a buffer and you weren't sure what to do. You just really want her to like you and you're worried if left alone you could mess it up.

"Oh don't worry! I won't bite sweetheart! Plus, we'll have so much fun!" Her smile easily puts you at ease that you can't help but agree. You excuse yourself to get ready which has her just as excited and rushing off to prepare for your day together.

You had just finished the painting class but it seems that she wasn't ready to return home, so you both decided on going to the park across the street to relax and get to know each other better. "Did you know you're only the second girl Kiyoomi has ever brought home?" She says as she sits down on a bench. You weren't expecting her to start the conversation with this interesting tidbit so you were taken aback. "No I didn't. But why am I not surprised to hear that? Omi is serious with his relationships. I've noticed that he's very guarded and decides who he wants to let in." You watch as a smile forms on her lips at your observation of her son.

"He really cares for you. And from what I've seen in the time I've known you, I can confidently say you feel the same way for the both of them. I've never seen Kimi be as attached to anyone else besides her father, but to see the reaction she had at not being able to call you mommy, that's when I knew." You look at her, confusion evident on your face. "Knew what?" She let's out a chuckle before giving a pat on your shoulder.

"That you're good for the both of them and that you're the missing piece to their puzzle that they've been searching years to find. Unlike his ex..." She scoffs, a look of disgust on her face before she continues, "You aren't with him for your personal gain, you're with him because you truly care for him. And I know you do because it's not easy starting a relationship when you know he has Kimi and that they're a packaged deal. Not everyone wants to be with a man who's had a daughter from another relationship. But from what I've heard you'd accepted that fact quite easily."

It's your turn to smile, you know how you feel about the father and daughter duo, but there's just something about hearing someone not directly involved in the relationship describe how you feel. "It's hard not to be enamored with them. Kimi is such an easy child to love, she's so sweet, kind, smart, not to mention the cutest child ever, but I might be a tiny bit biased on that." She lets out a chuckle before nodding her head in agreement.

"And where do I even start with Omi? We started out a little weird, what with me being Kimi's teacher and us having mutual friends, but look at us now. He makes me so happy, I can't imagine him not in my life anymore." You let out a sigh thinking about how you're already missing those two and how you can't wait to get back to them. "I love how they look out for each other. And I'm so thankful they've allowed me to be a part of the little bubble they've created together. They both mean so much to me." You feel your eyes getting a little teary, thoughts about how much you care for them making you emotional.

Her hand comes up to gently rub your shoulder. "I know that look." You rub your eyes trying to get rid of the wetness before giving her a questioning look. "Whenever you speak about my Kiyoomi, you get this look in your eyes. It's the same look I get when I talk about his father. You're in it for the long haul, aren't you?" There's a knowing look in her eyes and you can't help but nod your head, were you really that easy to read?

"Was I that obvious?" You watch as she scoffs before listing all the times she'd caught you staring at her son or pointing out how you almost cry every time Kimi calls you mommy. You bring your hands to your face to hide your embarrassment. "My son and granddaughter deserve to have someone who cares about them and doesn't see them as a means to get what they want. They've been through so much and I know they'd be able to get through anything as long as they have each other, but I also know that's not what they want. I know they've always felt like their unit was incomplete, that a part of them was missing. But ever since you came into their lives, they seem whole. I just want to let you know that I'm so thankful that you decided to give them a chance. It means a lot not only to them but to me as well. I just want them to be happy and you do that for them everyday. So thank you." She says as she pulls you into a tight hug that lasts a few minutes, before she's pulling away, a few tears escaping her as she does so. "It's nothing to thank me for Mrs. Sakusa. I just want them to be happy, I want to see them smile, to hear them laugh, I want nothing but good things for them."

She takes the tissue you offer her then dabs at her eyes, careful not to ruin her makeup. "Please, call me mom. After everything I've seen and heard, I'd be honored to call you my daughter." You feel your eyes begin to well up with tears before you're launching yourself onto her and pulling her into a hug. She lets out a laugh before wrapping you up in her arms. "Thank you." She spends the next hour telling you all about her son and his daughter. Stories you can't wait to bring up to Omi just to watch him squirm in embarrassment.

I thought it would be nice if we got to see mc's day with mama sakusa. Lol.

As usual, let me know what you thought in the comments or thru ask!

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[analog-cottage-gore]

OKAY ANALYSIS TIME. LOOK UNDER CUT.

Basically it seems to be an ad for watchful eye toys, but also not, like most other "ads" we see in wtdw.

So the video starts with a new character already, this guy:

Keep them in mind, we'll circle back to them later.

Thet say that "It's been far to long since we last spoke", before quickly diverting to a new character who immediately just flings themselves in our face:

Their name is Morris, they're a court jester vampire bat, and right after they say hello, there's a random beeping noise. This happens at other seemingly random points through out the video. We then learn more about other products that watchful eye toys makes.

The jack in the box is called the "Itty Bitty Jester Bot/Box" (I couldn't tell which), the bat is a "Mystery Cove Bat Friend", and the tambourine is a "Twinkle Light Tambourine". Not much is known about these currently.

They then go on to talk about Twimblo's, showing this ad. Now, this was shown in ep 13, but I wanted to bring up the "phone number" (does anyone know if this is a code or just random symbols because idk codes), but also not only do these go for $500 (before tax), they still put up a "buy one get one free", presumably to get more souls.

Then we get this little scene, showing Morris talking to Oddity, which first of all, why is he here, second, Morris is surprised that Oddity can talk?

Is talking like, and Oddity thing and not just a Twimblo thing? Is Oddity possessed? What is that about?

Also Oddity doesn't even know why he's here, or where he even is, someone help the poor guy-

They then get to the real purpose of the video.

Dreamworld is making a new animatronic.

what.

Apparently, the viewers get to comment features they might like the animatronic to have, and Watchful Eye will go through the top ten most liked and create a new animatronic??? Okay, cool, that's interesting, we'll talk about this later.

After that, they do an outro to the video, officially clarifying that yes, that's Oddity, and Morris asks if the camera stopped rolling, and if this means they can "Finally go-", before getting abruptly cut off.

There's then static, we get this image;

And then we see announcer guy again

They say their the project manager at the facility, before saying "But, you don't recognize me? What if I just..." It then cuts to this all to familiar screen;

We of course here training tape person saying their basic introduction, implying that announcer and training tape (who sound almost nothing alike) are on in the same. And then finally, we're left with this;

And a long stretch of blackness.

So, first off, announcer is pretty obviously Litho. Project manager for watchful eye, implies he voices the training tapes, which I always assumed were voiced by Litho possessing Sara, and shows a image that is clearly implied to be Litho quickly after. Plus, something I noticed is that Sara has pink eyes for most of the plot, aka when she's being possessed, but looking at when she's not obviously possessed, like for example her in highschool;

Her eyes are brown. So it appears that a sign of Litho's possession is pink eyes. And who else has pink eyes? Announcer guy.

Next, touching on Morris. My theory is that Morris is Rainbott, due to similar color palettes, and the fact that we never really learned what Winnie did to Rain. Now, the question is, what is Morris? It's never stated they're an animatronic, so what are they? Could it be similar to poppy playtime toys? Are they actually just an animatronic? Who knows.

Finally, the whole Amazing Automations thing. Why are they doing this? Why do they need a new animatronic?

I think I have an idea. I think they're planning to kill someone, and need a place to keep the soul. But who?

My top guess is Wiatt, due to how much trouble he's caused, and how odd it is that Litho let him stay around and keep his job. My next bet is Celio, but due to them just getting there, it's unlikely. Maybe Oliver as well?

And one last note that probably doesn't mean anything but it's interesting.

The eyes look vaguely similar.

This has been my wtdw Ted Talk. I hope you enjoyed.

[x-manson-annotated]

X-Manson Annotated Chapter 4 - Part Eight - THE ESCAPE

I'm sorry for how late this section is coming. It's a lot to pour over the various bits of it. Here, we'll be talking about the escape from the school perpetrated by members of the new mutants and kitty pryde. However, the events surrounding it are very murky and I may lean heavy on interpretation for this next section.

Four children actually escaped.

But more started to escape, but couldn't because of a mess up on their end.

Human children born to mutant parents are common, but usually the children are stillborn?

*I know this isn't what he means, but i'm imagining Xavier's also going out at night looking to mug someone.

The cult is kidnapping people from the town?

ACAB.

*Illyana's stepping disk.

Paige, Sam, Kitty, and Dani made it out. I'm still not sure why Kitty and Dani are named. The original text frames the story as Paige and Sam being dead, but they got out of the house.

I suppose I'll know more later.

(Holy shit. I'm going to reframe this as normal prose so we can get a good idea of what's happening. I'll be using their actual names for this. There's a bit of editorializing here, so bear with me.)

The escapees stood around, looking at the square, just beyond the gates that lead up to the school. They looked at Pete Wisdom and Nathaniel Essex. Paige gestured up the road that lead to Xavier's School. With not a single utterance, Paige collapsed to the ground, coming down hard on her knees, still pointing at the school.

"Oh God no, no, no!" shouted her big brother, Sam. He could immediately tell there was something wrong with his baby sister.

Dani looked around, repeating "Where's Illyana?"

Her voice was frantic, but her repetition was broken by Kitty, "Oh shit, Yana fucked up...We have to run. No one moves." Essex spoke up, "Are you from the school?" Dani was frantic still, "That stupid little bitch." Kitty looked to the group, "We have to run NOW!" "We're dead," said Sam. "Oh fuck," cried Kitty before fleeing into the dark, running right through a brick wall like a phantom. "We have to hide," said Dani, momentarily breaking from her mania. "This way," said Essex. Dani followed Nathaniel Essex away to safety, but that left Pete Wisdom alone with the other three. Rooted to the spot. He looked back and he could see movement in the school's courtyard. He reached out for Paige and the girl began to wail a horrible, piercing noise unlike any kind of scream he'd ever heard outside of horror movies. Sam pulled his hand back and it collided hard with his sister, knocking her over so he and Pete could drag her back to the house. Nobody circled around the house as far as they could tell.

Benway makes a spelling error.

Illyana didn't make it. Not sure how. Normally she has to be on the disk to transport herself and others.

Nathaniel finds the signs of mutilation on Danin and possibly Paige.

Storm has come into the doctor's house and has kidnapped Paige and Sam and taken them back to the house. By this time Kitty and Dani are already gone. But they've also taken Essex with them.

*Xavier has gotten to the cops.

*Limb, amputated. Another error on benway's part.

*This description on my first read through made me think that "Psyche" was in fact Xuân Cao Mạnh. But the amputation of Xuan's leg would have come later and she never used the name "Psyche" i only realized this after rereading some old New Mutants.

I don't know what this joke's significance is. A remark about her time at the school?

She has that verbal tick throughout.

I'm not sure how common that is with crack users.

*Kitty. But you knew that.

*Xavier could remotely operate the psychics in his cult remotely by ripping out their consciousnesses. This leads more to one of the psychics mentioned at the airport being Karma.

How did Sam learn this?

** Is Illyana from Salem? One of the people kidnapped from there? Somewhere else?

Illyana being his "Sister" is supposed to act as a cover for sexual abuse? If so, why put it on the cover if nobody beyond the cult knows?

Jean Grey's powerful enough even when she's cored to help people escape. Fuck yeah, Jean.

Order of Operations:

Kitty, Jean, Dani, and Sam form a psychic connection.

They form a plan with Illyana to get out of the house using Illyana's stepping disks.

They blind the psis in the house using a device.

Rasputin comes to the room, looking for Illyana. She stalls him, gets left behind when they fuck off.

They end up outside.

Kitty and Dani flee.

Sam and Paige are recaptured alongside Essex.

Illyana not having a lot of control over her powers is a reference to early new mutants where she didn't have very much control over where her disks let them off at or when. Hopefully this illyana is lost to time rather than dying in that awful place.

Dani got hooked on crack to make her mutant ability useless to the cult.

No Ororo/Callisto toxic yuri to be found here folks, only horror.

That wraps up chapter four. holy shit. We're close to the end. This chapter has a lot of meat to it, I hope that I've accurately cataloged everything i found here and interpreted it well.

[dantakeyoman]

𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐎𝐑 | 𝐫. 𝐳𝐨𝐫𝐨

♡ 𝐫𝐨𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐚 𝐳𝐨𝐫𝐨 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦! 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

♡ * "𝒚𝒐𝒖'𝒓𝒆 𝒂 𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝒊𝒏 𝒎𝒚 𝒂𝒔𝒔, 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕? 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏. 𝒚𝒐𝒖'𝒓𝒆 𝒎𝒆𝒂𝒏, 𝒚𝒐𝒖'𝒓𝒆 𝒍𝒐𝒖𝒅, 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒑𝒖𝒏𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒔 𝒉𝒖𝒓𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒍, 𝒚𝒐𝒖'𝒓𝒆 𝒅𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈, 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒎𝒚 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒔 𝒕𝒘𝒊𝒔𝒕, 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒎𝒚 𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒂𝒄𝒉𝒆, 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒎𝒚 𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒆 𝒉𝒐𝒕. …𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒊 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒌 𝒊 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒊𝒕." *

♡ 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟, 𝐥𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬, 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭, 𝐠𝐨𝐫𝐞, 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐟𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐲, 𝐬𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐰𝐰𝐰𝐰 𝐛𝐮𝐫𝐧, 𝐞𝐭𝐜.

♡ * 𝒔𝒑𝒐𝒕𝒊𝒇𝒚 - 𝒑𝒐𝒗: 𝒖𝒓 𝒛𝒐𝒓𝒐'𝒔 𝒈𝒇 *

𝐅𝐈𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍

Once the crew got past Reverse Mountain, the lot of you ran into a gigantic whale, which ended up swallowing all of you.

Inside the whale's stomach, you met an old man Crocus, the keeper of the lighthouse and caretaker of the whale, who's name was Laboon.

He told you the story of Laboon's previous owners, and how he was stuck here until their return. 

And while telling the story, these two weirdos, who went by the names of Miss Wednesday and Mr. 9, tried killing Laboon.

Luffy ended up beating them up, and got into a fight with the whale, promising to return so they could have a rematch.

And now here you were, the entire crew laid out on the floor after the roughest patch of sea you've ever faced.

Well, not the entire crew.

"C'mon. The weather's nice and all but that's not a reason to be lazy," Zoro scoffed, having just woken up from his nap.

"I'll kill you," you groaned, your voice dangerous.

He turned to Miss Wednesday and Mr. 9, who were also sprawled out on the ground.

"Oh, you guys are still here."

He crouched down, the both of them abruptly sitting up with fearful expressions.

"Wanna tell me what were your strange names were again? 'Cause I don't think that you can be trusted."

"Well," Mr. 9 shakily started, "I'm called Mr. 9."

"And I'm called Miss Wednesday," Wednesday answered as well, her smile faltering.

"Right. You know those names sound familiar, and that's what's bothering me. In fact, the more I think about it, the more I'm certain I've heard them somewhere before. Or maybe I-." You interrupted his rant by punching him in the back of the head, hard.

"You think your lazy ass can just sleep while we do all the work?! You're lucky I didn't throw you overboard!" you scolded, angry.

"Ow! What's the matter with you, woman?!" he exclaimed, rubbing the large knot on his head.

You answered his question by punching him in the same spot twice more, leaving him clutching his head in pain.

"Listen up, everyone! There's no way to know what's gonna happen next. During the terror most of us experienced, I came to an understanding of why this sea is named the Grand Line. My navigation skills are useless here, but mark my words I will guide us through!" Nami announced, proudly.

"Umm...okay. You sure, Nami?" Usopp asked.

She smiled, turning to look out at the distance. "Without a doubt.

"And speaking of which. We're here. Our first journey on the Grand Line comes to an end."

Everyone turned to see the island not too far ahead.

Whiskey Peak.

The island was covered with humongous catci, some of which stretching up past the clouds.

"This is unlike any landscape I've ever seen," Sanji stated, impressed.

"Those cactus are humongous!" Luffy shouted.

Just then, Mr. 9 and Miss Wednesday jumped onto the rail of the Merry.

"Thank you but we must be leaving," he smirked.

"It's been an interesting ride to say the least," she agreed.

"Bye, bye, baby!"

And with that, they jumped off, back-flipping into the ocean and swimming to shore on their own.

"Buncha weirdos," you scoffed, crossing your arms.

"I guess we'll never learn what those nutjobs were up to," Usopp shrugged.

"Eh, who cares. We're landing!" Luffy smiled.

"There's a waterway right up to the shoreline. It looks like we can go inland by ship," Nami pointed.

"Um, am I the only weighing the possibility of monsters on that island?" Usopp began to shake, nervous.

"It's possible. This is the Grand Line," you shrugged. "Even if there are it's not like we can leave."

"Huh? Why not?" Luffy asked, confused.

"Don't you guys remember what Crocus said. The Log Pose needs enough time to record the islands magnetic field so we have to stay put. The Log Pose needs a different amount of time for each island so some may take a few hours while other may take several days," Nami explained.

You continued up the waterway, a dense fog rolling in and covering up the image of the port.

But as the lot of you got closer, you could her a faint sound.

Faint, but distinct.

"Is that-?"

As the fog cleared, a crowd of what looked like the entire island could be seen gathered at the docks, all cheering and celebrating. 

"Greeting and good tidings, travelers!" a man shouted.

"Welcome to Whiskey Peak!" another agreed.

"These aren't monsters. They're people. And they actually look happy to see us," Usopp stated, getting out of his defensive stance and lifting his goggles.

"What the hell's wrong with them?" Sanji asked.

"Pirates are always welcome in our town!" a random woman cheered, whipping around a flag

"Hooray for the heroes of the sea!"

"Hey!" Luffy cheerd, sitting down on the head of the Merry.

"This is fishy," you stated bluntly, standing cross-armed next to Zoro.

"Definitely. I'd keep my guard up," he nodded, resting his hand on the hilt of his swords.

"Agreed."

海賊狩

After an entire day and night of partying, the crew was out cold, each asleep with a blissful smile on their faces.

You kept to yourself the entire night, untrusting of the villagers odd hospitality to pirates.

And luckily, that led you here, sitting on a rooftop next to Zoro, as the villagers below plan to raid your ship and murder your crew mates.

Not only that, but it was Zoro who revealed that they were actually a part of some giant criminal organization, all based on bounties and assassinations.

"You mind if I watch?" you smirked, crossing your legs and resting your cheek in your palm.

"Not at all," he smirked back, disappearing from the roof and appearing in the center of all the agents.

"Alright, then. Gimme a good show!" you smiled.

And what proceeded was a long, and hilarious, battle between Zoro and the hundred and some change criminals.

Each one had their own goofy looking weapon, and each one would get swiftly taken out upon entry, mostly because of their own doing.

"We got you now, girl!" a small fry shouted as he and a small group of his friends came running up behind you.

"This'll teach you to mess with Baroque Works!"

"God's Messenger: Army and Point," you stated, not taking your eyes off Zoro's fight.

A large amount of your feathers detached, stabbing and slicing the men like knives with a mind of their own.

Once all of them were down, your feathers returned to you, softening back to normal.

"Will you idiots give it a rest? You're way out of your league," you rolled your eyes.

As you continued to watch the fight, the gears in your head began to turn, and you realized the oppurtunity put before you.

'If these guys are part of an intelligence agency, then maybe one of them knows something about Doflamingo.'

You turned to the curly-haired guy, Igara-something was his name. 

He seemed to be the leader of the small fry.

'Perfect.'

You quickly stood up, unfurling your wings and flying down into the battle, kicking away the mayor's saxophone gun and grabbing him by the collar.

"I'm stealing one, Zoro!" you called as you began to fly straight into the air.

"Find by me!" he shrugged, pushing a bunch of the agents off a ladder.

"What are you doing?! What do you want?!" the man frantically shouted, growing more and more fearful as you flew him higher and higher.

"I'm gonna make this real plain and simple, got it? You tell me what I wanna know, and I won't drop you," you started, your expression stone cold.

"But....you tell me somethin' I don't like," you smirked, "and I'll drop you so hard they'll be scrapin' your remains off the road for weeks."

"Okay! Okay! What do you wanna know?! I'll tell you anything!" he cried, his shaky hands gripping onto your wrists for dear life.

"Tell me where I can find Doflamingo," you ordered, tightening your grip on his collar.

"Doflamingo? I'm sorry but I have no idea what you're talking about! Please you have to believe me, I don't know who that is!" he blubbered.

You smirked, let out a quiet chuckle.

"Damn, Igarrapoi," you started, holding him out away from you.

"That was somethin' I didn't like."

"No, wait! Please! I-!" But before he could plead any more, you dropped him,his body landing one top of a couple of other agents.

He wouldn't be dead, but he'd be battered a good bit.

'Can't kill him for not knowing. But he did plan to kill my crew mates so most of that was deserved.'

"Ya done up there?" Zoro called, sitting himself down on the edge of a different rooftop.

"Yeah, I'm done," you sighed, flying down and sitting next to him.

"The guy had what you're looking for?" He asked.

"Nope. Another dead end," you huffed, glaring at the mayor's body, who seemed to be talking to someone in the alleyway, along with Miss Wednesday and Mr. 9.

"Don't let it discourage you. The further we get on the Grand Line, the more information you'll be able to find," he nodded, placing an assuring hand on your shoulder.

You smiled, a faint red tint rising to the apples of your cheeks.

"Anyway, you think our captain'll be alright. I left 'im down there with those weirdos," he asked, removing his hand.

You were already beginning to miss it's warmth.

"Wait, Luffy's down there?" you asked, looking over the ledge to see that Luffy was indeed there, fat and passed out in a wheelbarrow.

Suddenly, the mayor jumped up and pulled the strings of his bowtie, sending a barrage of bullets towards the man and woman he was talking to.

And Luffy was caught dead smack in the middle.

"Dammit. Luffy's trapped," you sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose.

"We better go do something about it," Zoro begrudgingly stood up, resting his hand on the hilt of his blade.

"Right behin-." Just then, a gigantic explosion ripped through the gunfire.

And when the smoke cleared, the mayor lay unmoving on the ground.

'This is too much.'

"I've had enough fun for one night," Zoro grumbled, jumping down from the roof and grabbing Luffy by the shirt, dragging him off.

You looked down at the scene again, cocking a brow as the mayor called Miss Wednesday Princess Vivi.

Mr. 9 tried to protect her, but the dread-headed guy picked his nose and shot a booger at the poor guy, blowing him up.

"That's disgusting," you grimaced, shuddering at the thought of explosive boogers.

'Now wait a second. Intelligence agency.....secret princess.....kingdom in danger.....I think I'm starting to get the gist of what's happening around here.'

Flying over the dramatic scene happening with the princess, you met up with Zoro and Nami, who seemed to be arguing over money while the mayor lay on the floor, helpless.

You landed and squatted down to his level, him lifting his head to see you.

"Igara-guy," you started, serious. "Would the princess, or the king of this Alabasta place, know anything about Doflamingo?"

His eyes went wide, and he coughed up a little bit of blood. "I am almost certain that Princess Vivi knows nothing of this Doflamingo you speak of. But King Cobra should surely know."

You smirked, standing up straight.

"Well then, can't let my map die."

海賊狩

You managed to catch up with the princess only to see the exploding-booger guy fire a pretty big one at her.

Quickly, you swooped down and hit it away with your mace, sending it flying and exploding in mid-air.

"Gross! I just hit someone's snot!" you exclaimed, tongue out in disgust.

"You! Don't you pirates give up! Leave me alo-!" You quickly stopped the princess' spinning toy and turned to her, seriously.

"Relax. I'm here to help," you assured, firmly.

"Help?"

"I take it that you must be a part of that swordsman's crew. The one that beat up all the lowly employees stationed here," the blonde woman with the umbrella smiled.

"Why would you wanna protect the princess of Alabasta?" the booger-man asked.

"I have my reasons," you glared.

"Well one way or another we're gonna have to eliminate you. You're in our way."

"Aww, what a shame!" the blonde woman laughed. 

Booger-man stuck his finger up his nose, and you got yourself ready for another attack, until Luffy and Zoro suddenly burst through a house, fighting.

Your eyes went wide.

"Huh?! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU IDIOTS DOING?!" you shouted, angry.

"ZORO BEAT UP THE NICE TOWNSPEOPLE THAT GAVE US FOOD!" Luffy shouted, sending the swordsman flying into another building.

'My captain cannot be this stupid.'

"LUFFY, YOU DUMBASS, THEY'RE THE BAD GUYS! THEY TRIED TO KILL US!" you scolded.

But he ignored you, and instead got sent flying into the blonde woman and the booger man, knocking them into another house. 

After about five more minutes of the two knocking the sense out of each other, and the bad guys, you had had enough. 

"WILL YOU TWO IDIOTS QUIT IT!" you shouted, flying over and slamming the two of their heads together, stopping their fight. 

"You people...are insane," the princess gaped. 

"What the hell is wrong with you two?! You're lucky you guys kept her safe during your shenanigans, otherwise I could've lost out on some VERY important information!" 

"Huh? Information?" the princess asked, confused.

"In exchange for delivering you home safely, you're gonna bring me to your dad where we can discuss some information," you stated.

"I-uh-umm-." "Deal? Deal," you smiled, interrupting her.

"(y/n), that hurt," Luffy sniffled, clutching his head. 

"You're lucky I didn't hit you two harder!" 

"Tch. Crazy woman," Zoro humphed.

海賊狩

[owlsandwich]

The Mechanics of Magic

Read along with me :D - Chapter 7

Chapter 1 | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

I'm going through these fast, but its a pretty long book so if I don't we'll be here all year :P

This time we're checking back in with Alex after that awkward conversation with his father.

Chapter 7 is under the cut:

It had taken the biggest rucksack Alex could find to fit his generator. Using the inbuilt handle would have been easier, but he didn’t want his father seeing it and asking questions. A brief explanation to his parents that he would sleep at Eira’s had been enough, and evening was fast approaching, which meant the grounds of Golebach Court would be empty.

“I still can’t believe I’m letting you drag me all the way to Golebach on a Sunday night,” Eira exclaimed. They were taking the bus, which meant it would take half hour more to get there than it had done in the car, but she’d been easily bribed with promises of Alex buying dinner when they got there.

“At least you can feel your legs,” he replied, shifting around so he was half stretched into the aisle. They’d wedged the rucksack into the footwell at his insistence, not trusting the narrow luggage rack above, but now Alex was scrunched sideways with a foot on the chair to make room. “I thought you liked the beach?” 

“Yeah, but we’re not going to the beach, are we?” Eira rolled her eyes at him. “I’m going to sit next to some old ruin for an hour while you tinker with a machine. As usual.” 

“Oh, come on. Give me one example of another time I’ve made you sit around next to a ruin — ow!” He winced as Eira poked his undefended ribcage.

“You know what I meant!” she laughed, “You always promise these trips are going to be oh-so-cool, and they are always so, so boring for me.” Eira turned away from him to look out of the window.  “You never did tell me why we’re going now. Weren’t you only there yesterday?”

“I felt something there,” Alex replied. “There’s some sort of magic in the ground by the stones. I’m hoping I can tap it to charge the machine.”

“In Golebach?” Eira raised an eyebrow. “What are you charging the generator for, anyway? We already did the concert. Did the uni ask you to do it?”

Alex shook his head, then rested his chin on his knee. “It’s something Dad said. He says the generator takes too much magic to charge.”

The bus had left the country roads now, and a thin strip of ocean was visible in the distance, shimmering pink along the horizon.

From the corner of his eye, Alex saw Eira scanning his face. “That’s it?” She looked like she was about to laugh, but caught herself upon reading his expression. “I mean, it’s unlike you to hang out when your dad’s around… I thought something big must have happened.” 

“It is big!” Alex exclaimed louder than he had intended. “If it’s not viable, then the whole project has been a waste.” The bitterness he’d felt the previous day came back in a rush and he realised he was scowling.

“It got you into Aedemeer!” Eira replied, but he barely heard her. Aedemeer would eventually point out the same issue that his dad had found, and he wasn’t prepared to just let the project fail.

“It doesn’t matter.” Alex’s scowl had turned to determination. “If I can get this ground magic to work, then it solves the problem, doesn’t it?” 

“And this couldn’t have waited a few days because...?” Eira coaxed and Alex didn’t meet her eyes. “Yeah, I thought so,” she sighed. “You’re dragging me to Golebach just to prove your dad wrong before he leaves.”

“That’s not what this is.” Even his own protest sounded feeble.

“Sure it’s not. You keep telling yourself that.” Eira gave him a smile. “It’s fine, Alex.” 

The magelights in the streetlamps were beginning to glow when they arrived at their stop. Between them, they dragged the rucksack out from where it was wedged, thanking the disinterested driver as they lugged it down onto the pavement. 

A cool sea breeze whipped at Alex’s hair and he took a deep breath, relieved to stretch his legs after the long ride. Their stop was on the high street, which meant they would have to climb the path up to the manor on foot, but the view they would get of the sunset made the prospect inviting.

Eira fell into step beside him as they headed off, leaving the warm lights of the pubs and shops behind in favour of the relative quiet of the stoney climb.

“How long’s your dad down for anyway?” Eira asked as they walked.

“Not long. Another day maybe.” Alex hoisted the heavy rucksack higher on his shoulders. He’d spent the majority of the day in his room after breakfast and now felt a tinge of regret. His dad hadn’t pressed him on the reason, and Alex reassured himself that he would make it up to him tomorrow.

“So, your mum…” Eira began again after a moment. 

Alex made a questioning sound in response. “What about her?”

“She gets on well with your dad still? You know, with him not really being around as much?” Eira seemed unusually hesitant. 

“Yeah?” Without a heavy pack to slow her down, Eira was a few steps ahead and Alex couldn’t see her face. “They’re friends. Why would they not get on?”

“Just friends?” Eira turned back as she waited for him to catch up. “I’ve always kinda wanted to ask, because you give the impression that your parents aren’t together anymore, but then your dad sleeps over at your house and everything.”

“I dunno, I’ve never really thought about it,” Alex frowned. “I don’t think they’ve ever been together as such. Even when he lived here. Dad needs his own place anyway because he travels for work. When he comes, he just crashes on the sofa, you know.” He’d rather not closely analyse why the sofa was always empty in the mornings, even when Alex was the first one awake.

“He lives in Larimar now, right? You think he knows anywhere we could do a gig? The band’s been trying to find a bigger venue, but it’s hard arranging it from out here.”

“I can ask,” Alex said in between heavy breaths, the generator weighing him down as the path grew steeper. “I’ve never been over there.”

Eira grew quiet and Alex remembered that she’d still not told him about her own university place. She seemed happy enough, but if she was planning gigs rather than getting ready to leave…

“So.” It was his turn to sound hesitant. “The healing college in Beiriant…?” He trailed off, hoping Eira would get his meaning. Beiriant was Vailberg’s capital and, with the precision required to learn healing magic, the barrier to entry for its colleges rivalled that of Aedemeer. 

“Oh, yeah, they want me to go. I guess I’ll be heading off the week after you do.”

“You got in?” Alex jogged up beside her, ignoring the burning in his thighs. “That’s great!”

Healing was hard and its effectiveness entirely dependent on the strict focus of the mage. Sure, simple wounds were easy enough to fix on yourself — much easier to guide a spell when you can feel what’s hurting — but doing it on someone else was a different matter. Especially for injuries that weren’t visible. Part of the trouble was that healing was active. It wasn’t as though an expert mage could create a passive healing spell for others to study and use. Each case had to be dealt with individually, the spells always formed anew, making it as difficult to teach as it was to learn.

“Yeah. It’s really great.” Eira smiled, but it didn’t seem to reach her eyes. Before Alex could probe further, she darted ahead again. “Look, we made it!”

They had reached the crest of the hill, the glittering ocean stretched out before them, orange and blue fragmented by the rippling waves. A few wispy clouds shone brightly where they caught the dying sunlight, contrasting with the darkening sky above and reminding Alex of the time. He’d rather not have to work on his machine in the dark, even with a magelight.

The manor rose ahead of them, but this time Alex took the right fork in the road, away from the sweeping driveway and towards the lawn and gardens. They passed a couple sitting together on one of the benches, but as they turned the corner, Alex was pleased to note that the area around the stone monument was empty. 

He was looking out for the magic this time, and as he approached, he felt it flowing in the earth beneath his feet. It reminded him of the energy given off by a passive spell, but fainter and with no detectable purpose, no matter how hard he tried to analyse it. By the time they arrived at the ring of stone arches, the power hummed against his senses like the gentle purr of a contented cat.

It was a few minutes before Alex realised he was standing in silence, running his hand over the stone, still warm from the day’s heat. And Eira was watching him.

“Don’t let me interrupt,” she called, as he turned to face her. “I can see you’re having an intimate moment with a piece of rock.”

“Can’t you feel it?” he called back, gesturing to the ground as he walked towards her. “The energy here?”

“I feel… hungry!” Eira laughed and tilted her head to the side. “No magic though. Sorry.” Alex’s disappointment must have shown on his face because she quickly continued. “But look, if you say there’s something here then I believe you.”

Alex nodded, though a frown still creased his brow. He didn’t consider himself a stronger mage than Eira, and it surprised him that she couldn’t sense what seemed so obvious. Then again, he hadn’t immediately noticed it when he arrived yesterday; perhaps it took some time to attune to? The proof would soon be right in front of them anyway, if he could just tap into the power. 

Eira settled down cross legged on a rock half embedded in the dirt and fished a little notebook out of her pocket.

“I thought you were complaining on the bus that you wouldn’t have anything to do?” Alex commented, as he saw his friend begin to sketch something out.

“Yeah, I just wanted to make you feel bad.” Eira didn’t look up. 

Alex smiled and shrugged off his rucksack, setting it gently on the ground. It took some effort to extract the generator, but he was relieved to see it was unscathed from the bus journey. He’d reconstructed the passive spell that morning; just the one that rotated the motor. Layering in anything more complex seemed redundant at this stage. If the ground magic didn’t work, he’d spend more time focusing on refining the efficiency instead.

Now that it came to it, Alex wasn’t sure how he was going to draw on the magic, anyway. He settled down on the grass and placed a hand on the ground, the other resting on the casing of his machine. The passive spell inside the generator tingled against his mind, ready for whatever magic would be channelled to it.

In contrast, the magic in the ground seemed no closer, even with the focus point of his touch. He reached out with his own energy, like he would when reading a passive spell, but the power below him seemed to leap away as though repelled. 

Alex stopped and thought. As far as he knew, it wasn’t possible to take magic from existing passive spells or from other mages. It was why magic sickness was impossible to heal; all a mage could do was wait until their own body replenished their reserves. Then again, this magic wasn’t like any he had encountered before. The way it retreated when he reached for it… Perhaps if he pulled his energy away, it might respond?

With a slow breath, Alex turned his attention inward. Even the physical barrier of his skin didn’t stop some of his magic radiating out – it was how mages sensed each other after all. But with focus, Alex found he could start to draw his energy back. Using the hand touching the ground as his focal point, Alex withdrew his own power and, to his delight, found the ground magic flowing closer to the surface in response.

His nerves made it hard to keep the focus, and Alex paused to steady himself before attempting to draw the ground magic into his body. It followed willingly this time, cool and strangely distinct from his own. 

Now it was just a matter of channelling it into his generator. He could feel the metal under his other hand, passive spell ready and waiting. With a small exertion of will, Alex directed the new magic inside.

It flowed slowly at first, trickling through the passage granted by his body. To his relief, the passive spell accepted the power easily and with apparently no depletion of his own magic. Confidence boosted, Alex pulled harder, trying to increase the flow.

The trickle picked up speed. For a second, Alex felt like it was still under his control. Then magic flooded his body, crashing through him as though a dam had broken.

White light burned in his mind. Blinding energy blocked out any sense until he was nothing other than a connection between the two points of magic.

“Get to the King! We’re under attack!”

A deep voice edged with panic shouted from somewhere, but Alex didn’t recognise it. He couldn’t see. He fought for control of his body, fear rising until, with a violent lurch, the ground seemed to drop away under him.

He was thrown off balance, hands pulled away from both machine and earth as his back hit the dirt. It was enough to break the connection, and the white light faded from his mind, replaced with the twilight of evening.

“Alex!” Eira’s scream cut through the fog of his daze. He tried to move, but he hurt all over. Black specks raced across his vision as he lifted his head.

In front of him, the generator was whirring. Not its usual low vibration, but a high screech that shook the metal casing around it. Adrenaline defeated exhaustion and Alex clawed at the grass, dragging himself away from the machine towards Eira’s voice.

She must have run to meet him, pulling at his arms to drag him to his feet. 

“Alex, what’s going on? The earthquake!” Eira’s voice shook, but Alex knew there wasn’t time to explain. The screech from the generator was wrong. He still had magic, though; despite the exhaustion in his limbs, he’d been correct in his assessment that the spell would not take any of his own power.

Without reply, Alex flung a shield around them both. Then, with an ear-splitting boom, the generator exploded.

He felt the shrapnel first. Shards of his machine battered the shield and his head pounded as he reinforced it with all the energy he had. 

A wave of raw magic followed, undefined and crackling. Like static, it sparked along his shield, dispersing it as it went. He grappled desperately with his mind to hold the spell together, but the wild power was grounding through his body, taking both his shield and his awareness with it. 

Thought slipped away and darkness took its place.

[thewrongmoon]

Actual Concrete S5 predictions from me

I feel like I've been fucking around with trying to figure out possible groupings for the next season, so I'm actually gonna go into what EVENTS I think are going to take place next season. Well, more like ONE event I know is gonna happen.

Will Getting Vecna'd (in some capacity):

I first felt like this would be too obvious, because Will has already been possessed before, but the evidence points directly to it. I don't think it will be the same as other Vecna possessions, namely because Will has a different bond with Vecna than Max and his other victims did. But, again, I'm like 90% sure its gonna happen. Why?

This image right here ! This image was posted by Noah before vol 2 dropped (I believe), and everyone assumed that vol 2 would have Will getting Vecna'd but that never actually happened.

And I will acknowledge the possibility that this could just be a joke made by Noah and he tried it on just to take a picture, but that also seems unlikely imo. Like I feel like these harnesses would probably be expensive and hard to get into yourself, so they wouldn't just let him run off with one? But I'm not involved in the production of ST so idk.

Actually, just realizing this as I go back to edit this point, Noah isn't wearing Will's clothes at all. He's wearing a white t-shirt and grey sweatpants. In the show he wears a blue long-sleeve undershirt and tan colored jeans (which you may be able to see in the bottom right corner of the mirror) alongside his yellow flannel.

Sadie doesn't wear Max's clothes here when she's harnessed up. This was in a rehearsal, not the actual thing. But I would imagine that they would A. maybe put their clothes back on in post-production (though this seems kind of unlikely) or B. have them dress in layers as to hide the harness and knee/elbow pads the best they can.

Will's actual outfit clearly being in frame in Noah's photo could mean he was going to put it on over the clothes he is wearing.

The second piece of evidence is this footage which shows the actor for Lonnie Byers at the table read.

Now, we don't see Lonnie at all during season 4. It's possible that there's maybe a cut scene with him in it, like a flashback? But I have no idea where they would put it. They don't show anyone in the Byers family having flashbacks in S4, and they're probably the only ones who would have any involving him.

Lonnie being present means we'll probably see him again. And because I don't think he would put in any effort into reconnecting with his kids he abandoned 5+ years ago, it's gotta have to happen in a memory, or flashback, or nightmare, or hallucination.

And who do we know that uses people's past trauma to get into their brains?

This queen right here!!

Now I know what you're wondering. If we're gonna see Lonnie in a Vecna-vision in S5, why was he at a table read for S4?

This leads me into my next theory:

Parts of S5 have already been scripted and filmed.

NOW HEAR ME OUT. This theory makes a lot of sense if you really think about it.

First of all, the production of S4 was delayed significantly by COVID. This left the writers with more time to potentially work on the S5 script.

Another huge hurdle for the crew of ST was the kids getting older. Nearly 3 years passed in between the end of filming S3 and the end of filming S4. Their characters were only supposed to age like 6 months.

Because of this, they tried multiple ways to make them appear younger, through wardrobe and even asking them make their voices higher.

They knew it was gonna take them at least another year or two before they could get to filming S5, and the actors would age more in that time. I mean, look at Finn Wolfhard. He already looks nothing like he did in S4.

The Duffers have stated that there was no way for it to not pick up where they left off.

Because of their insistence to shoot back to back, it's safe to say assume something happens right after S4 ends.

But I think they must have come to a compromise, where they inserted a time jump some time after that.

Lonnie's actor being present in the S4 table read and Noah in a harness (with the flannel he wears in the final episode) are kind of hard to explain if this isn't true.

Originally people thought a time jump would occur after episode 4 of S5, but I do think it's unrealistic for them to have already filmed half of S5. I do think it's feasible that they've maybe filmed episode 1 of S5, or they filmed parts of S5 that they want to play in flashbacks or just play in a non-linear fashion.

They finished this grid awfully quickly, and have said many times before that they already had most of S5 blocked out. I don't think it's super unrealistic for them to have scenes in mind that needed to be filmed asap to fit in with the story. This grid was probably more of a way to determine what part of the story fits in where.

Suffice to say, there's something fishy going on here.

Predictions:

I think Will will have some type of contact with Vecna right where S4 ends. Not necessarily being Vecna-d, but something to lift him in the air which would require a harness. I think Vecna would want to use his memories of Lonnie to turn him against his friends and family.

I think that Will may join him with the intention of double crossing him. This would bring the "super-spy" scenario back full circle.

But no matter how we look at it, Will being Vecna'd seems inevitable.

[invincible-selfxmade-punk]

After 8 years I got rid of my dish service, DirecTV.

Once my husband gave me his old game system where I could access Prime video, netflix, and YouTube it was all over.

He thought I was using the service and I thought he was using the service and honestly the only thing we were doing was occasionally buying aew pay-per-views and maybe once a month checking in all the actual shows and for this we had to pay $180 a month.

It just so happened that I got a Walmart Plus Membership last year and it came with a Paramount plus free subscription which I never tried out. So we set up an account through Walmart and sure enough we get it for free and between those services and then my husband pays for peacock himself for the WWE oh my God we do not need cable at all!!

Paramount plus even has all these really old TV shows like Love Boat and the original Hawaii Five-O.

AND

There is a brand new Criminal Minds franchise that I didn't even know existed!! I am three episodes in and I am so so happy.

Before I got the game system I would always put on Blue Bloods to watch while I slept. And they have Blue Bloods on Paramount plus as well.

I have also become absolutely obsessed with the movie Talk to Me.

I rented it and watched it twice and I'm about to run it again so hubby and I can watch it together. I will be so glad when it is on a streaming service because it seems like it's been out forever, yet you can only see it by either subscribing to Showtime or renting it.

The calling card of modern horror seems to be to have characters who are so pretentious and unlikable you do not care when they die. And I hate that. That's why I really like movies like talk to me, the Sacrifice game, The Red Rose series, Saint Maude, etc

The teenagers in this are not pretentious, they're dialogue is not what people think teenagers sound like, and they're not just these psychos are sociopaths that are horrible to each other even before the bad stuff starts happening. They are just really really stupid in the moment which is really close to real life.

Tomorrow I go to Midland to finally see Michaela doctor and finally get my drops renewed. I am down to one drop and the stupid cornial surgeon absolutely would not refill any of my glaucoma meds because he said he was not qualified to do that. But I'm doing okay because my pressures were fine when he checked them all the 30th. And since Midland is a hell of a lot closer than Lubbock I am praying for a Very Fast Trip in and out.

A week after tomorrow I have my first professional development day in Midland which is going to be rough cuz it's a whole day of class. But I guess we'll see how it goes.

I still need to get my last shingles shot but considering how bad the first one knocked me out I don't know what I'm going to be able to schedule the next one is going to have to be on a period of time where I know I'm not going to get out of bed for a couple of days. And then I need to schedule my colonoscopy.

I swear summer for everybody else seems to be this great thing but for teachers it's when we have to deal with any health problems that we were not able to deal with during the year and of course all the professional development that we're having to take and honestly this is the first year that we've been required to take it in the summer.

My first three Summers I had to myself and I was able to just lay around and travel whenever I wanted to Period And then it was like every other summer either I was getting another eye surgery or I was studying for another Certification.

I just want to do nothing but stay in bed and read but if I do that I hate myself and I feel lazy.

Ah, the duality of man.

[threebooksoneplot]

Three Books One Plot and ✨You✨

Now that our first season has drawn to a close we wanted to share some fun stats with you guys! This is information that was actually cut from our finale for time but, since we're so excited about it, we still wanted to share it with you all. It's been a hell of a year and, like we mentioned in our finale, we never expected for anyone besides us and a small group of friends/acquaintances to care so much about this silly project. But a lot of you cared. More than we thought would.

In fact, we had listeners from 50 countries over the course of the past year. This is what our top ten looks like, at a glance:

Shout out to anyone listening from any of these countries, and extra shout out to anyone listening from any other place in the world, too. (All 40 other countries.) As far as the US goes we weren't too shocked by our top five (California, New York, Pennsylvania, Florida, and Texas are also the top five most populated states) but we were excited to see listeners in forty-five states plus DC. So, to our friends in Alabama, Alaska, North Dakota, Vermont, and Wyoming... we'll get you guys next season. 😉

(more information and fun statistics under the cut!)

What was doubly shocking to us was the idea that not only would we have such a broad reach but that we would chart anywhere. Over the last year we have charted on the book charts of eleven different countries, including the United States. Which is fucking bonkers.

Beyond that, we had some more funky statistics we wanted to share! We truly did give you non-Spotify listeners the short end of the stick sometimes but hey, don't blame us. Blame the apps you listen to and like, maybe bully them on Twitter into providing polls and questions like Spotify does. If that doesn't work, you can always join in on our polls here on Tumblr during the interim between episodes. Next season we'll also be encouraging you guys to answer our episode questions in our ask box here, too. Anything to get more hilarious gems from you since you guys are like, really fucking funny.

But as far as platforms go, here's our breakdown:

If you listen on a different app like Pocket Casts or any other podcast platform, please let us know! We'd love to know how you guys are tuning in.

Not to direct our full attention back toward Spotify for a moment (like we love to do) but here were some fun Spotify-centric stats that are worth mentioning. Mainly because the age statistics make us laugh.

Shoutout to any young-young Gen X-ers that listen and aren't in the 45-59 age range. You guys are the true champions and we adore the fact that your peers just do not fuck with us. Also, in the unlikely chance that any of the less than one percent of Boomers (affectionate) that listen to us also happen to follow us on here, please message us so we can give you the key to a city or something. Because we love you. Sorry that supercentenarian Edward kept being weird and rude about your generation. He sucks for that.

To conclude this fun and informative little wrap-up post I wanted to give the biggest, loudest, and most inappropriate shout out to all our sexy listeners who gave Three Books One Plot a rating or a review!

On Apple Podcasts, we received 8 reviews and 17 ratings, giving us an average of 4.6 stars!

On Spotify, we received 63 ratings, giving us a 4.9 star average!

This fall will bring a new season with a new book, new characters, and new guests. But don't worry, there'll be just as many jokes, bits, ill-advised drinking game rules, and sex tape titles that make G rejoice and Shannon sigh in half-reluctant compliance as before.

We wanted to give a super-special thanks to all of you who have tuned in, and we're so excited to see you guys again for Season Two in September!

[z-iridest]

Yu-Gi-Oh: Renegade

Chapter 5:

Previously on Yu-Gi-Oh: Renegade:

' "In 3 months, I will be holding a Derby Duel Tournament. It is open to all who wish to compete." Leon Dracnus announced on live TV.

"Look, everyone deserves to play the game they love without facing prejudice, without consequences… This baby," Yuko gently patted the broken down Phoenix Whirlwind, "is the key to jump starting that change. But, I'm gonna need you guys behind me on this."

"There'll never be a time you can't count on me." Adom replied.

"Good luck, Yuko, my girl." Pops told her before Yuko raced out of the garage and away from her chosen family.

"Remove your helmet and deactivate the gear, reject. I know you're a duelist, and one from the Jade Phoenix Duel Gang judging by the symbol on your back."  

"You have Derby Duel gear yourself, right, Takano? Duel me. If I win, I go about my business and you act like nothing happened." 

"And why should I listen to what a reject like you asks of me?"

"Winning against me means you could get redemption from the big man topside. See, you're right in assuming I'm a duelist, I'm the leader of the Jade Phoenix gang, their best duelist."

"You're on, Birdie. You're in for one heck of a match, I hope you know what you're getting yourself into, kid! Wait, that Duel Disk... Where did that come from?!" Yuko felt a smirk cross her face at the Chaser's shock of the tech she'd built herself.

"I built it into my gear!"

What have I gotten myself into? She thought nervously as a countdown began to the beginning of the duel.'

With the Duel World spell activated, the world around them had changed giving it a bluish hue. "Ready... Set... Duel!" The computer counted down. Both duelists took off, their Life Point counters set to 4000 Life Points. Wait, are my eyes playing tricks on me? Why are my Life Points only at 4000? Yuko thought, her brow furrowing.

"In case you aren't familiar with Derby Duel combat, allow me to explain the rules. In Derby Duels, our decks are cut down to 40 cards each and our Life Points are only set to 4000 points. Unlike Turbo Duels back in the old days, we're allowed to use normal spells, but we do have hurdles that make things harder. For one thing, in the actual arena, if you knock your opponent out of bounds, they automatically lose. The first two to take that first turn are the first duelists to begin dueling. If one of the duelists in focus gets knocked out, either by a duelist or an obstacle, either the duelist that butted them out or the duelist closest to the remaining duelist takes over the duel. Much like Turbo Duels, though, if you hit zero while Derby Dueling, your wheels will lock up and you'll be forced to wipe out." Takano explained.

"In other words, you wanna be the last duelist standing." Yuko summed up.

"Too bad it won't be you, Birdie." Takano smirked. 

"We'll see about that, Takano." Yuko glared.

"Ready... Set... Duel!" The computer counted off, the two taking off as soon as the countdown hit the go mark.

Yuko- 4000                                           Takano- 4000

"Ladies first, reject." Takano smirked. Yuko rolled her eyes as she drew. A frown crossed her face. Mystical Space Typhoon, Spell Shattering Arrow, Shield Crush, Blast Magician, Monster Reborn and Unexpected Dai... Not too much to work with defense wise, but one monster's better than nothing but spells the first draw... Yuko thought. "What's the matter, giving up already?" Yuko scoffed at Takano's taunt.

"You wish! I'll kick this off by activating Unexpected Dai from my hand! Since I have no monsters on the field, I'm allowed to Special Summon a Level Four or below Monster from my deck, as long as it doesn't have any effects... So, Flamvell Guard, take to the field in defense mode!" The metallic dragon roared to life, flames coming off its body as it curled up in defense mode (ATK/ 100 DEF/ 2000). "Next, I summon Blast Magician in attack mode!" Blast Magician spun his staff, taking his place next to Flamvell Guard and standing at the ready, his eyes trained on the enemy (ATK/ 1400 DEF/1700). I'll end my turn there for now. Your move, Takano." 

​​​Yuko- 4000                                           Takano- 4000

"My turn! I draw!" Takano observed the cards in his hand before smirking a bit. "First, I'll summon Honest in attack mode!" An angel looking monster took to the field on Takano's side of the field, his wings unfurled and his eyes glaring fiercely (ATK/ 1100 DEF/ 1900). "Now, since I'm not dumb enough to attack you with a monster that has less attack power than Blast Magician, I'll end my turn with a facedown." 

"Wow, who knew you guys were actually smart? It's my turn now!" Yuko remarked, but before she could take her turn, she noticed something hurtling her way. She moved to the side, dodging it by a hair. Takano laughed at her. 

"I told you there were hurtles... From here on out on every other turn, the Duel World field spell automatically throws obstacles our way. In an arena, it would have obstacles set up, but this isn't your typical arena." Takano revealed.

"You were hoping I'd get knocked down by one of those, didn't you?!" Yuko accused.

"Don't accuse me of such a ridiculous thing, girl, now take your turn or I'll take it as a surrender!" Takano threatened.

Yuko- 4000                                           Takano- 4000

"I draw!" Yuko kept a steady pace as she looked at the cards in her hand. While she'd gotten one spell card out of the way, she still had her original four, plus her trap card: Trap Jammer. Least he won't be able to do anything to me with a Trap Card this upcoming turn... Yuko thought. "Blast Magician, let's leave a scorch mark! Attack Honest!" 

"You won't be able to touch him, Birdie! I activate the trap card, Compulsory Evacuation Device! This card allows me to target one monster and return it to the owner's hand, and I choose my Honest!" Takano smirked.

"I guess your dueling skills are rustier than you thought, because all that does is switch Blast Magician's target from your monster to you directly!" Yuko called out his mistake as his monster returned to his hand and Blast Magician turned his attention on Takano. His eyes grew wide.

"Wait, wait, wait!" He shouted but it was too late, Blast Magician closed in on Takano and sliced through the Ex Chaser with his scepter. Takano stumbled due to the damage he took, but managed to get his footing back. Yuko smirked.

"I'll end my turn by throwing down a facedown. Your move, Takano." Yuko smirked.

Yuko- 4000                                           Takano- 2600

"You snot-nosed, insignificant little- AH!" Distracted by his need to insult Yuko, he was tripped up by an obstacle thrown his way, the teenager snickering as he barely managed to stay on his feet. "What?! You cheater! You did that on purpose!"

"You forgot one of the rules: Since it's just the two of us dueling and we're outside the normal arena, any time one of us takes direct damage, we have to avoid an obstacle at the end of the turn." Yuko reminded him, smirking. Takano growled in response. 

"I draw!" Takano drew a card, but the look he gained on his face made Yuko uneasy. What is he planning? She thought as she kept pace with the ex Chaser. "I summon Horus the Black Flame Dragon Level Four! (Atk/1600 Def/1000)" Yuko's face paled as she came face to face with her own brother's dragon. There were 3 dragons with the same name: Level Four, Level Six and Level 8. Liam's entire deck had gone missing, and it chilled Yuko's blood to know that the dragons that her brother had once held dear were now on the hands of someone like Takano. Takano, meanwhile, smirked. "What's the matter, little duelist?! Dragon got your tongue?!" Takano cackled. Yuko glared.

"Take your turn, snake!" Yuko yelled. 

"As you wish! Horus the Black Flame Dragon Level Four, destroy her Blast Magician!" Takano announced the attack. The dragon roared and did as it was told, making Yuko cry out in pain as 400 life points were taken from her, her magician destroyed. "Now, his special effect activates! When I destroy a monster this turn, I'm allowed to send him to the graveyard and Special Summon Horus the Black Flame Dragon Level 6 from my hand or deck!" He laughed as the level four dragon disappeared, it's Level 6 version taking its place. It roared, Yuko recognizing the pain it was in. Don't worry, I'll find a way to get you guys away from him... I promise! She thought, hoping the dragon could hear her. "I end my turn due to Horus the Black Flame Dragon Level Four's effect!"

Yuko- 3600                                               Takano- 2600

"Then, it's my move now!" Yuko shouted before she dodged the hurtle coming her way and drawing her next card. Keeper of Dragon Magic! Yuko thought, smiling a bit before schooling her features. "I summon Keeper of Dragon Magic in attack mode! (Atk/1800 Def/1300)" She watched as the dragon armored magician burst to life, facing Takano and the level 6 dragon. 

"What is it with you and Spellcasters! You know that magician's far too weak to beat my dragon!" Takano called out.

"I know, I'm not attacking with him!" Yuko called out. "I activate his effect! By discarding Spell Shattering Arrow, I can draw Polymerization from my deck to my hand. But, that's not all! By revealing a fusion monster from my deck, I can special summon one of the materials needed to summon it in defense position! So, Luster Dragon, join us on the battlefield as I reveal First of Dragons!" She showed the fusion card as she summoned Luster Dragon (Atk/1900 Def/1600) in defense position. "Now that the effect is complete, I activate Polymerization from my hand, fusing my Flamvell Dragon and Luster Dragon together to Fusion Summon First of Dragons in attack mode! (Atk/2700 Def/2000)". First of Dragons roared to life, his grey scales glistening in the street lamp light and his tail hitting the ground as he roared. Yuko smirked. "Now, First of Dragons, attack Horus the Black Flame Dragon Level 6!" Yuko ordered the attack, and watched as a black lightning ball left her dragon and hit her brother's dragon, destroying it and knocking Takano's life points down another 400 life points. Takano cried out in pain and once again struggled to maintain his balance as Yuko took the lead, easily turning around to face Takano and skate backwards. The ex Chaser growled and the smirk on her face. "Now, Keeper of Dragon Magic, it's your turn, attack Takano directly!" She extended her hand, making Takano's eyes widen as the Spellcaster attacked, knocking his Life Points down another 1800 points and causing Takano to falter once more." I set two cards facedown and end my turn!"

Yuko- 3600                                                 Takano-800

"You no good reject! You'll be locked up for sure! I draw!" Takano barely avoided another obstacle before drawing his next card, and a flash of red caught Yuko's attention. The Dragon Kings were nearby...

"Says the guy about to lose this duel! Make your last turn count, Takano!" Yuko fired back. Takano suddenly started laughing.

"I plan to! I use the effect of Monster Reborn to bring my Black Flame Dragon Level 6 back from the Graveyard! Next, I summon my Honest back to the field! But, instead of attacking, I'll set one card facedown and end my turn!" Wait, why isn't he attacking? Yuko thought. It didn't make any sense...

Yuko- 3600                                               Takano-800

"I draw!" Yuko announced her turn as she drew a card. "I summon Dark Blade in attack mode! (Atk/ 1800 Def/1500)" She smirked behind her helmet. "Dark Blade, attack and destroy his Honest!"

"Not so fast, I activate the trap card Rising Energy! By discarding my Two Headed Dragon, I can give my Honest an additional 1500 attack points! (Atk 1100+ 1500= 2600)."

"Nice try, but you forget about my facedown! Trap Jammer! Using this trap, I can negate and destroy Rising Energy!" 

"WHAT?!" Takano exclaimed in horror as he watched his trap crumble and shatter.

"And that means Dark Blade is clear to keep his attack going!" Yuko exclaimed. Dark Blade's sword slashes through the angel, making it give a cry as it shattered and Takano yell in pain as he took the 700 point damage. He stumbled, barely managing to catch his balance for the final time. "First of Dragons, let's finish him off once and for all! Attack his Black Flame Dragon and end this duel! Black Lightning Attack!" She yelled out, the dragon roaring as it fired off another ball of black lightning, once again destroying the Black Flame Dragon. Takano cried out as the last damage of the Derby Duel rendered him down to zero, taking his last 100 Life Points and making him finally fall as Yuko came to a stop, standing tall.

Yuko- 3600                                         Takano- 0

"Should have attacked while you had the chance." Yuko snarled. "Now, you're going to give me my brother's dragons back right now. All three of them. It's the rules of a Derby Duel. Any rare cards the losing duelist has go to the winner." Takano growled, the snarl eventually growing so loud it eventually became a roar of rage!

"NEVER, I'M TAKING YOU IN!" Takano yelled in anger, but before he could lay a hand on Yuko, a punch came from over the female's left shoulder. When Yuko turned her head, she had to admit that she was surprised to see Kai Cunningham behind her, along with the other members of the Dragon Kings.

"Not in our turf. She beat you fair and square, and you had some of the rarest dragons in the game since the creation of the Blue Eyes. You don't deserve to be a duelist." Kai threatened, scooping up the cards Yuko had requested from the deck and glaring at him. Yuko tensed, ready for a fight if that's what it came down to. "Relax, Adonis, and take off your helmet already, Yang wants to see you." Yuko hesitated for a minute. "Look, idiot, you want your brother's dragons back or not?" He questioned. Yuko pressed a button on the side of her helmet that made the skates and her helmet collapse, allowing her to walk freely. Kai placed the dragons in her hand before leading the way toward the Dragon Kings' hideout. Yuko placed the dragons in her deck, smiling when she heard their spirits purring on happiness. Once inside the hideout, Yuko saw that it was a den, filled with members of the Dragon Kings either training or cooking a hearty meal, the smell of which made Yuko's stomach rumble. "Being this close to an entrance of Cypher City has its perks." Kai told her as he held her to the center of the den. "We also have informants all over Cypher City, they keep us updated if anyone even murmurs about an attack on the Underground." The closer they got to the center of the den, the warmer it became. Yuko noticed many of the members of the rival duel gang stopping to stare at her. Kai glared at them once they reached a door, making all of them head back to their stations. "Yang's through here." Kai opened the door for her, letting her go through.

"Thanks." Yuko spoke. "For the backup back there and bringing me here." 

"Just following Boss's orders." Kai replied before closing the door behind her. When Yuko turned her back to the now closed door, she found a haven of an office. Books of Duel Monsters history lines the shelves, titles listing the pat Kings of Games, their rivals and the history of the fame itself. A picture frame sat center stage in the middle of it all, a picture of a young girl with snow white hair and sapphire blue eyes next to a younger and much happier Yang.

"My younger sister." Yang clarified from the desk in the center of the room before Yuko could ask, not glancing up from whatever he was working on. "The last time Cypher City tried a raid, my sister was coming up the stairs and was killed. We were able to fortify the passageway to not allow anyone but residents of the Underground in, but the update came too late to save her. Her name was Kisa, and no, I don't want to talk about her other than to make you understand why I don't mention her." Upon closer inspection, Yuko noticed a locket around both siblings neck in the picture, a locket that still hung around Yang's neck now despite the pain it must have brought him to remember his sister.

"We're similar that way, I guess." Yuko responded, remembering her own grief as Liam's face flashed in her mind. She heard Yang's chair scrape against the floor before the sound of his boots marked him drawing closer to her.

"Sometimes I wonder if you're just as crazy as your brother. Risking your neck to go up top, all to take part in some tournament that'll just be another blip in the history of Duel Monsters and end with your death." Yang told her, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I have to. Especially considering I have the chance to kickstart the chance for people to be able to duel freely." Yuko replied, facing her rival. He easily towered over her, his ruby red streaked, jet black hair hung in his face, his hazel eyes regarding her.

"You know they'll be able to keep track of you with your prosthetic, Yuko. You're not an idiot, don't do this over one stupid tournament."

"The gang and I thought of that, Raven was able to hack the systems so my ID shows as someone else rather than who I am, and it's also why my hair and eyes are a different color. I'm two steps ahead of you, as usual." Yuko turned to leave but found her arm in Yang's grasp.

"Yuko, please. One leader to another, don't go up there. You'll get caught, tortured and killed and your friends will be left down here alone." Yang reminded her of the punishments that waited for her if she were caught.

"And you know why I have to do this. Any day now, a piece of vital information could slip past your informants, Dracnus could lead an army down here and then Duel Monsters would be destroyed forever. That risk is why I have to fight back for us, because no one else will." She argued. Yang stared at her.

"I still think it's a stupid idea... But, nothing I say or do is going to change your mind, I've seen that look enough times to know. You die up there, I'll kill you." Yang let go, leading her to a bookcase that swung open when he pulled on a book titled An Incomplete History of Underground City and other Adrenaline Junkies. Yuko gave Yang a deadpan look.

"Cliche much?" She asked.

"Hey, it hides it better than an out of place stone tablet that's impossible to move." Yang replied. Yuko passed him to climb up the steps when a thought crossed her mind and she stopped, facing Yang.

"If something happens to me up there, will you make sure my gang stays safe?" She asked. Yang nodded.

"You have my word." He swore.

"Thanks... For everything." A smile crossed her face before she ascended the steps without looking back, the secret door swinging closed behind her. Her boots smacked against the cement stairs as she climbed higher and higher until she reached a heavy metal door. She touched the center of it, causing it to slide upward. Once she exited the staircase, the door slammed shut behind her. She was in someplace that looked like a normal apartment. It was abandoned, covered in dust and most of the furniture covered with a white cloth. Where she had just come from was behind a dusty old bookcase. Really? Just when I thought that guy couldn't be more cliche? She thought, shaking her head as she looked around. Since the applications didn't open back up again until the morning, Yuko set to work sorting out the apartment, dusting and cleaning until it looked almost like a new apartment. Once she finished, she looked out the window she had just finished dusting watching the stars glimmer in the sky above her. She gave a small smile, taking the stars as a sign of what she hoped would be a bright and peaceful future to come

But only time would tell for sure.

(Taglist: @kitsunephantom09 @iheartbarbie)

[everythingsinred]

Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Mikan (pt. 15)

Hey, friends! We're about to begin one of my favorite arcs! (Don't ask me what my favorite arc is; it changes like the weather.) The New Year's Arc, or in my head the "Discovering Natsume Arc," is super important to Mikan's development and to her feelings for Natsume, so we'll be having a field day, y'all and I. Let's get to it!

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Chapter Fifty-Three

This arc has everything!!!!

Ignore me, I HAVE to quote SNL right now.

This is the beginning of a pretty important arc. In the Natsume essay, I called this arc the “Discovering Natsume” arc, which made it less important for him and more important for Mikan. To be entirely honest, so much happens here--particularly with Mikan and her feelings, both for Natsume and her insecurities--that it almost feels like a climax. If you only read up to the New Year’s Arc, it almost feels like a complete story, as unsatisfying as it is. I’ll discuss that more later (“Yeah, later later--I’ve heard that one before!”) (I'm made of references. If you get this one, we can be best friends!!!).

In any case, the arc begins with the elementary Class B dorm New Year’s party! Everyone is gussied up and star ranks have nothing to do with the feast for once, so everyone can tuck in too! (Although the money packet is still dependent on star rank.) Mikan is properly excited, especially because today is her birthday. 

Class B, my beloveds.

She tries to subtly remind her classmates, asking if everyone knows why this day might be special besides being New Year’s Day, but nobody seems particularly interested in indulging her. She has memories of celebrating with Jii-chan, who was often the only one she could celebrate with, only to have her New Year’s packet be her birthday present. It must be so sad to be born in the winter months, when the gift-giving holidays are all clumped together and your special day gets lost in the mix. Tragic. Can't relate because I was born in the summer so I am super privileged--I always got the whole day to myself.

(Natsume is left-handed, Mikan’s birthday is New Year’s--they’re so oppressed.)

In any case, she’s excited to celebrate with friends for once, to have her birthday be a big event. Mikan likes attention and, unlike Natsume, she actually wants people to make her birthday a big production because it never has been. But nobody seems to care at all, too preoccupied with it being New Year’s. It’s finally her chance to have a proper birthday and she’s still being overshadowed by the coming of the new year. 

The arrival of the New Year’s cards in particular distract everyone from Mikan’s obvious hinting, and even Mikan temporarily forgets the subject when she finds out she got a little stack of cards too! She’s touched to see the card from her Jii-chan, the only person who actually remembers her birthday. Her stack is small though, nothing compared to Hotaru’s tower of fanmail or Ruka’s mysterious postcard from his family. 

Her mood switches around so quickly!

Ruka and his family are very mysterious. Mikan may be friends with Ruka now but his past, family, and friendship with Natsume remain obscure. It’s important that our arc begins with this concept! You may remember Natsume’s essay for the Reo Arc, when I pointed out that Natsume’s dream in the beginning was important because it signaled that some change must occur by the end of the arc. Similarly, for Mikan, her dislike of Natsume and Sumire being stressed at the start of that arc also was a sign that things must change. Similarly, Mikan muses here that she knows nothing about Ruka or Natsume or their families. Thus, by the end of the arc, we can expect that to change.

(You can track foreshadowing this way. Not all stories are well-written, and even if they are, some stories have foreshadowing that you’re not meant to pick up on the first time around. But when an arc begins with a thought like this--”I don’t actually know much about Ruka’s family”--then you should keep it in mind for later, especially when such importance is placed on it. Gakuen Alice is, for the most part, pretty well-written, and most arcs begin with foreshadowing like this, which is very fun to track. These hints help us figure out what the central themes of the arc are and why they’re important. The Reo Arc was important because Mikan made friends with people she previously disliked. The Z Arc was important because Mikan realized that her wish to be useful and “sacrifice something” is not as simple as she thought. And now, the Hanahime Den Arc is important because Mikan will completely uncover both Ruka and Natsume by the end of it.)

Mikan and friends are able to get their hands on Ruka’s post card, where they see his bizarre family as well as a holiday message from his mother, mentioning Natsume and a person named Aoi. Of course, the immediate focus is on Ruka’s beautiful foreign mother. But Mikan picks up on the mention of Natsume and wonders about who Aoi could be. All Mikan knows is that Ruka and Natsume came to the academy together. The details are still out of reach. See, Mikan is closer to Natsume, but she never stopped trying to figure him out. He’s still the king of mysteries, after all! Higuchi Tachibana said in Natsume’s character profile that solving his mystery was kind of like solving the general story’s mystery, which is part of the reason why this arc feels like a climax. Mikan’s little oblivious crush on Natsume only makes her curiosity about him more potent, which is why the message stands out to her so much. 

I love this page. It's uncomfortable, but still somehow manages to be the moment before a disaster.

But Natsume confiscates the letter and gives it back to Ruka, scolding Mikan for being rude because it’s not nice to take somebody’s postcard without permission (which is true!). Mikan feels guilty and uncomfortable (because he’s right!), so she tries to change the subject to something nicer, asking him innocently how many cards he got today. But the atmosphere only gets more tense. He stays silent but glares at her. He just leaves the room, slamming the door shut behind him and leaving an awkward vibe in his wake.

Mikan asks what just happened and Sumire is eager to fill her in with as much judgment as possible, beginning her scolding by saying “And you made such a fuss when it happened to you.” Natsume never gets any letters, not during the year and not even on New Year’s when everyone else does. The censors are always strict and it’s tough for anyone to get a letter sent or received, but Natsume is special: he has never gotten letters and never will. 

And Mikan remembers the “fuss” she had made, when Natsume told her that they were special cases, that they’d never get a letter and shouldn’t trust the teachers. Sumire says that if Mikan had thought a little about it, she could have figured it out before she ruined the mood and Mikan feels instantly guilty. 

She didn't mean to!!!

This moment is important for several reasons!

One is that we (and Mikan) can see that even though Mikan is like Natsume in some ways, his struggle at the school is different from hers. He’s singled out just a bit more (for now). This creates curiosity in us (and Mikan) about what exactly his circumstances are and why it has to be this way.

Second is that this is the second time now that Mikan has hurt Natsume’s feelings (that she’s aware of). The first time was when she refused to dance with him at the culture fest afterparty, when she realized that she was just taking her anger out on him. But it’s more than that this time, because Mikan didn’t mean to be hurtful. She was curious and acting on her curiosity and accidentally pressed the wrong button. She feels awful because she didn’t think before speaking. This (in regards to Natsume) will be important in the future, particularly in the Sports Festival Arc, which is why I’m emphasizing it now. This instance is small-scale, but still important. What matters is that Mikan feels bad that she wasn’t more considerate.

And the third reason is to give Mikan some birthday angst!

Anyway, the biggest take-away to get is that Mikan is guilty because she hurt Natsume’s feelings, even if she didn’t mean to, because she was thoughtless. She wanders around outside, consumed by guilt and cajoling herself for being insensitive, especially after she’d gone through similar troubles. She runs into Narumi, who is only the second person to remember her birthday, spurring her into sobbing. 

Poor Mikan! That's my favorite thing to say.

Mikan is a child--still, after everything that happened to her--so she is simultaneously happy that he remembered, sad that nobody else did, and convinced that she doesn’t deserve birthday wishes. It’s a confusing cocktail of emotions. It’s only logical that she cries about it. She also misses her Jii-chan, which makes her cry more. She tells Narumi what happened with the ESP at the Christmas Ball, asking again why she’s being singled out. She admits that she causes problems and is concerned about being punished for it. 

I feel like I’m repeating myself but whatever: Mikan may seem carefree and cheerful on the outside, but she keeps a lot of her worries inside. She never stopped worrying about the encounter at the Christmas Ball, even if she stopped talking about it as much. She never asked any questions about “that woman” or the mysterious teacher with the same alice as her, and yet she clearly has the feeling that they’re tied to her somehow. She still worries deep down about Natsume and his alice shape, even if she tries not to think about it. She definitely doesn't want to want to think about her feelings for Natsume or romance in general. Mikan isn’t a character who doesn’t or can’t worry; she’s a character who chooses not to, especially in front of others. When she’s alone, or feeling vulnerable, like now, she does express concern. This encounter with the ESP is really weighing on her, despite all her smiles and cheer.

But Narumi attempts to comfort her, not by addressing her concerns (because he can’t right now), but by telling her not to worry, because he will always protect her. Mikan is moved by this and quickly recovers her mood, blushing and smiling again. She tells Narumi that she loves him. He responds that he loves her too, more than anyone, which she knows is a lie. She laughs about that for a moment, as well as pondering how one of Narumi’s hands is warmer than the other, but Mikan’s mood has genuinely lifted. 

She loves so many people! She just doesn't like to think about how she loves one particular person...

She shouldn’t be scared because she has all of her friends with her, standing by her side. She has people she loves, who love her too. Whatever issues she faces in the future, she won’t be facing them alone.

She overhears her friends calling for her, expressing worry and concern for her, as well as voicing remorse for pretending not to know it was her birthday (which was all Hotaru’s idea… for some cold reason). She has a surprise party waiting for her, so she is able to smile and rejoin her friends again. 

The New Year may have started chaotically, but she hopes that the year will be great, just like last year--and that the next few years will be great too!

Ha. Ha…

We call this foreshadowing too, but when you’re first reading it might seem like just words on the page to wrap up the chapter. It’s not really that meaningful until you reread, when you realize that Mikan’s year will be difficult and painful, that she will be darkly traumatized. And that the years that follow will have her stripped of her memories. It’s foreshadowing in that Mikan makes a wish, and it won’t come true. 

I love foreshadowing!!

(We will ignore Mikan refusing to let herself be sad. Her insistence on finding a silver lining despite how dark things become does not cancel out how terrible the upcoming year will be for her, starting with today and tomorrow.)

Chapter Fifty-Four

Mikan’s finally having a party with all her friends. She would be entirely content, if not for the fact that she still hasn’t reconciled with Natsume after hurting his feelings. He’s still sulking, Mikan is still guilty, and thus the party has a minor hiccup. 

But the biggest distraction is when Hotaru gets personally invited to the Flower Garden Association Party. Tsubasa and Misaki visit before we can focus too much on that and suddenly the whole gang is making mochi.

Natsume seems to be the only one abstaining from the activity. Everyone else is making up their own mochi recipe--some better than others. For example, Ruka’s seems to be a big hit that the others covet, while Mikan’s is a bizarre monstrosity.

During the exam chapter, Mikan announces proudly that she loves cooking, and I believe her. Where Yuka is a terrible cook at all the basics, burning food, Mikan is happy to cook! But the combinations she puts together are so ridiculous that there’s no way they could turn out tasty. For example, today she has prepared bean broth with orange mochi. Now I know very little about Japanese flavor profiles, but that sounds horrible, especially compared to Ruka’s or Sumire’s. Based on all the other characters’ reactions to her mochi, it can be deduced that those flavors do not mesh well.  She is perhaps too creative.

As they prepare to eat, Mikan sees Sumire offer some mochi to Natsume and then gets the idea that she should too, offering her terrible mochi to him as an attempted apology for speaking insensitively before. 

She loves him so much I'm going to cry.

But the thing is that it’s hard to apologize to Natsume. Mikan always has trouble when there’s something important to discuss between them, especially when the tone is so serious. At the afterparty, she couldn’t admit that she had taken her anger out on Natsume when he hadn’t really done anything. During the Z Arc, Mikan struggled to say that Natsume was ignoring her in particular, because it felt too uncomfortable, putting herself on the line like that. Later, at the lake, she couldn’t fully complete her sentence that she wanted to give him her alice stone because she feared rejection. This is one more example of a similar issue: apologizing to Natsume, or even just implying that she cares about him or his feelings, is tough for her to do.

So she doesn’t apologize. She just stands there, trying to get the words out, until she gives up, leaving her bowl there and taking off. Things with Natsume are always awkward for some reason (because Natsume is different!) so even though she feels genuine guilt and really wants to make up, actually taking that step in vulnerability is difficult for her. She’s nervous how he’ll react, more so than with anybody else.

Misaki is able to explain all she can about the mysterious organization that has invited Hotaru. At the beginning of the last chapter, we got a breakdown of the three divisions and the vibes they give off: the elementary school is childish and impulsive, the middle school is a breeding ground for gossip, and the high school feels like a secret society. Though the entire school is mysterious, the middle school seems to be the most mysterious, with its bizarre headmistress and the countless rumors. If you pay attention while reading GA, you’ll notice that the phrase, “I heard there was a rumor in the middle school division” tends to be the precursor for the sharing of gossip. All rumors seem to have roots in the middle school. Thus it makes sense that it’s Misaki sharing the information now. Not only is she in the division and would therefore know a little bit more about her own headmistress than the elementary schoolers, but she is part of the gossipy school. 

In any case, the organization is like a harem of pretty girls, a grouping of the most impressive girls in the academy, so it makes perfect sense that Hotaru, a genius with a unique alice and a beautiful face, would be selected. Hotaru only becomes interested when she finds out the flower princesses get special treatment. But there are terrible rumors about the middle school principal and her flower princesses, that the principal locks away her favorite girls, that the position of flower princess is nothing more than a status symbol. And yet, despite all of Misaki’s warnings, the elementary girls all want the jewel ball that goes to a random girl that will allow them to attend the party. 

It’s fun to see all the girls be a little shallow. We know Mikan is already, that Hotaru has a fondness for all things glamorous and expensive, and that Sumire has a shallow affinity for the cutest boys in class despite their sketchy personalities. But all of the girls are focused on the shallow status symbol party now, entirely unmoved by the creepy rumors. They truly are children. Sniffle.

The desperate search for the jewel is interrupted when all the kids start flinging across the room towards each other, sticking like magnets. Anna and Nonoko, Koko and Kitsu, Hotaru and Youichi with Ruka, and Natsume and Mikan. Turns out they’re all stuck together because of a prank Tsubasa played, where he put a prank mochi-mochi powder in the mochi, so any people who ate the same mochi would stick together. So Anna and Nonoko, as well as Koko and Kitsu, who probably willingly shared their mochi together, are stuck. Hotaru and Youichi stole bites of Ruka’s tantalizing mochi and that sadly means he’s stuck to both of them. And Mikan and Natsume…

Well, if they’re stuck together, then that must mean that Natsume actually ate her nasty-ass mochi! The page becomes sparkly and sweet as Mikan asks if he ate her broth after all. She doesn’t really need to ask. He wouldn’t be stuck to her if he hadn’t. He brushes it aside with a mean comment about having to choke it down, but it doesn’t matter. Mikan is still sparkly! Natsume ate her apology mochi! 

I love sparkly panels! I always pay attention to them!

She bickers with him about the flavor of the mochi, but she’s relieved, because they made up after all. Now Natsume is back to normal, which is what she’d been wanting all day. Now that it’s much less awkward, she’s able to actually say the words, “I’m sorry about the card thing earlier.” Now that the atmosphere seems less serious, it’s not as vulnerable for her to put herself out there and apologize. He’s already forgiven her, pretty much, so saying the words is easier.

Immediately after this, Mikan finds out that she got the prize jewel invitation! Which means she can go to the party with Hotaru! 

What I really love about this moment compared to some other books or movies with similar tropes, is that Mikan isn’t actually special enough to have earned this random invitation. In another manga or show, for example, the main character and her best friend might be invited because even though Mikan thinks of herself as stupid or plain, the truth is that she is very special and beautiful! She gets invited because there’s something about her!

But that’s not what happens here. Mikan being invited isn’t a coincidence and furthermore it doesn’t even have anything to do with Mikan. This is a plan to lure Natsume to the Hanahime Den dungeons, where he will have to be punished for his insubordination. If the MSP had any say in the matter, Mikan certainly wouldn’t have been invited (and it’s for this reason that Mikan is treated so cruelly at the party). In another show, Mikan and Hotaru going together would be a given, so much so that you’d roll your eyes at the contrivance (I’m saying this because I hate that kind of plot). But here, Mikan and Hotaru both being invited is suspicious, something that sets off alarms for Tsubasa and Misaki.

But it’s been an hour, so most people are becoming unstuck, except for the Ruka mochi gang, whose bodies have compatible body chemistries with the prank mochi-mochi powder, meaning they could be stuck for two to three days. 

Mikan is, like always, ?????????????

Natsume and Mikan do not have compatible body chemistries with the powder, so they become unstuck, except that Natsume grabs her hand and holds her still. The plot could easily benefit from Natsume and Mikan remaining stuck like the Ruka mochi gang, but instead, Natsume makes the choice to fake it. This is important because it makes Natsume’s behavior unusual and suspicious. He’s planning something. If they’d genuinely been stuck, then that suspicion might be missing, and it’s necessary for the next few chapters.

Chapter Fifty-Five

Mikan wants to be honest. She doesn’t want to be stuck to Natsume anymore! But he hurts her hand and insists that they’re still stuck. He turns to her for her to agree that they’re stuck and many unspoken threats are apparent. If she disagrees, he will hurt her somehow. So she agrees.

Ruh roh!

From Mikan’s POV, Natsume is being needlessly sadistic. He must be doing this to torture her because there isn’t any other clear reason why he’d go through all this trouble. The girls might not be able to go to the party, they can’t be parted enough to take baths, go to the bathroom, or sleep separately. Hotaru’s group is lucky to have her because she has pills and sprays to control their bathroom needs, but poor Mikan is being bullied by Natsume, who’s not even really stuck to her!

She hates being stuck to Natsume and she loudly says it to everybody who can hear. She bitterly muses that being stuck to Ruka would be much more pleasant because Ruka is nice. He wouldn’t insist on staying stuck for no reason, wouldn’t be angry when they go to the bathroom, wouldn’t be threatening her and ruining her birthday. All those happy sparkly feelings about Natsume eating her mochi are gone, replaced by bitter indignation. This is important too. We are in the Discovering Natsume Arc, after all, which means Mikan will have to learn more about him. Additionally, Mikan has and will continue to have misunderstandings about Natsume’s behavior, leading to hurt or anger when he genuinely doesn’t mean to hurt or anger her. 

We know from Natsume’s POV that this isn’t some fun prank for him. He doesn’t want to torture Mikan. He doesn’t even want to be stuck to her because he has feelings for her because, as we know, he’s already given up on that option. Instead, he wants to find his sister and this ruse is the only chance he has of getting into the girls-only Hanahime Den. 

And so Mikan will continue to misunderstand him, partly because he’s a mystery and partly because he tends to be dishonest on top of that. Keep this in mind for later.

For the moment, Mikan gets called out by Koko, who teases her by asking if that means she prefers Ruka to Natsume. She answers yes without thinking, only to realize what she’s said and start yelling at Koko not to meddle. 

That's nice, Mikan. Not that Natsume is being nice.

Mikan messes up a lot by being rash and impulsive, by saying or doing the first thing that pops into her head. She is so preoccupied currently by her own feelings that she doesn’t even think about how Ruka or Natsume will feel hearing something like that. Of course, anybody can answer a question too quickly without thinking and end up messing something up (like answering one question at work too honestly and then having the work offer rescinded as soon as you get home so you have to find a new job after only one day… sigh). Still, this is the second time today that Mikan hurts Natsume’s feelings because she’s too preoccupied with her own to think before she speaks.

In any case, they’re sleeping together in Natsume’s room. He is open to sleeping in her tiny bed if she prefers it, but the issue isn’t the bed, it’s who she’ll be sleeping with. He tells her he really doesn’t want to sleep with her either, which just pisses her off because this is all his choice! If he wants to sleep by himself all he has to do is let go of her!

But then he says, “I’m sorry for not being Ruka.” He’s very serious all of a sudden, and Mikan can’t be angry anymore because now she’s confused instead. He announces that the ruse will end tomorrow, and even though Mikan has no idea what he means by that, her anger has dissipated. 

They’re alone in the dark in a huge bed now. They can let go of each other’s hand. She muses about how much nicer his bed is than hers. He’s not doing anything weird. Sleeping with a boy is not as terrible as she’d assumed it would be. She asks him what his plan is, pointing out that she deserves to know if she’s going to go along with it. But he just tells her to go to bed without answering any questions. 

♡ ♥♡ ♥♡ ♥♡ ♥♡ ♥♡ ♥♡ ♥♡ ♥♡ ♥♡ ♥♡ ♥♡ ♥♡ ♥♡ ♥♡ ♥♡ ♥

Natsume is mysterious for many reasons. He doesn’t talk a lot. When he does talk, it’s usually to insult or tease her. He seems to be involved with the shadier parts of the academy, but nobody is willing to tell her much about any of that. Additionally, all the real information she gets about him is second-hand. Misaki-sensei warns her about him being dangerous. Hotaru and Yuu tell her the rumors of him being a murderer. Ruka insists there’s more to him, that he hates his own alice. Reo is the one who spills that he works in black ops missions for the school. He rarely tells her anything about himself. Not before, not now, and not during this arc.

Natsume, as we know from his essay, would never willingly drag someone into his dark life by oversharing. Telling someone about his dark backstory would be out of character. Explaining to Mikan why he’s doing this whole act would be out of character.

But as a result, Mikan can’t help but misunderstand him. She’s the only one actually trying to fill the gap between them, despite his every effort to be as mean and rude as possible.

Mikan is wide awake and lonely. Natsume managed to fall asleep, which means she has nobody to talk to. She yearns to attend the party tomorrow and bitterly thinks it’ll all be Natsume’s fault if she doesn’t end up going. But again, for the tenth or twentieth time, her anger vanishes as soon as she hears Natsume groaning in distress. 

She will never care about any anger more than making sure that he's okay. He's more important than grudges.

During the Culture Fest, when Natsume faked being sick to get her down off her carpet, Mikan forgot her anger because the idea that Natsume could be in genuine danger concerned her. She distinctly worried about his potential alice shape and then acted upon it.

This is a similar situation, where Mikan can see that he’s having a terrible nightmare and even looks like he’s in pain. She wakes him up and is instantly relieved when his eyes open. She was so nervous that something serious was going on that she felt like she had to wake him up to check on him.

But then he pulls her closer into a hug and snuggles her.

She naturally starts freaking out. We already know that Mikan gets nervous whenever Natsume does anything remotely kind or gentle. Their nice, intimate dance during the Christmas Ball made her very nervous. The idea of kissing him freaked her out even more. And this is snuggling! Natsume definitely doesn’t seem like the type who would snuggle, and especially not her, and yet! She blushes and panics, but he tells her to shut up, which lets her know that he’s still awake. He tells her some confusing stuff about giving her back to Ruka after tomorrow--stuff that I’m sure she understands at least a little.

I genuinely think Mikan has an idea that Ruka has romantic feelings for her, as I’ve said before during the Christmas Ball. I think she has a semblance of an idea about it all, some level of understanding that she’s in a bit of a love triangle. I don’t think it’s a fully fleshed out thought because, as we know, Mikan doesn’t really like to linger on uncomfortable concepts. But she knows Ruka likes her. She cares for him too, although I’d argue not romantically, even if she doesn’t fully realize that. This situation is only confusing to her because she doesn’t know what she feels or why.

Doki doki!

But Mikan’s heart is racing, and even though he’s telling her to just shut up and be quiet, she still thinks he’s cute. She stops arguing pretty quick and does indeed keep still, blushing while her heart beats fast and loud in her chest. 

I don’t know if Mikan decided to hug him back before she fell asleep. She thought he was cute so it’s a possibility that she decided to snuggle him back. I mean, she kissed him back on Christmas, so it's a possibility! In any case, she’s definitely hugging him by the time they wake up, though Natsume seems to not remember any of that nonsense and instead accuses her of clinging to him. She’s very upset that she wasted her emotions on him, ashamed that she’d actually thought he might be cute.

Mikan may be our protagonist and occasional narrator, but she doesn’t actually reveal very much in her narration. If you’re reading and feel yourself getting confused, asking yourself, “What is she actually thinking right now?” then you’re not alone! Mikan doesn’t actually tell us very much. She doesn’t tell us what she thinks of Natsume kissing her, or about him snuggling her. All she ever seems to say is that she’s confused because she is. I think that, just like she’s nervous to voice her serious feelings to Natsume, she doesn’t want to admit it to herself (or us) either. She’s confused too, so she doesn’t always know what she’s thinking. Mikan is not nearly as upfront as she may seem. She needs to be analyzed too, just like Natsume. 

Cute! She snuggled him back!

See, Mikan only said (to us) she thought Natsume was a little cute after she got pissed off at him. She didn’t think anything clear in the moment. She only admits it (to us) when she’s upset to voice her shame. Thus, we have to connect some dots. Mikan acts a certain way when Natsume snuggles her, a similar way that she acted during their kiss--at first surprised and maybe a little panicky, until she settles down and maybe thinks he’s a little bit cute. It’s a victory for us that she’s willing to share even just this small crumb, admitting that she finds him cute at times, especially when he’s affectionate.

She’s such an enigma. Analyzing her is so much work. Anyway!

It turns out Mikan and Hotaru can attend the party after all, even with their male companions. The thing is, though, that they have to crossdress in order to gain entry.

Yet another plot element that might seem contrived or cheap until you realize this is a big conspiracy to lure Natsume into the dungeon where he’ll be trapped forever. 

Conclusion

Wow, that was so much emotional repression! It makes my head hurt. But we've wrapped up Mikan's birthday, so next time we'll talk about how the actual party goes (hint: not well).

I won't be posting for at least ten days, because my precious Zoe is coming home for Spring Break, so I'll be devoting those days to spending time with her. I'll still be here. Ask questions to your heart's content! I'll be back soon to continue the New Year's Arc!

I don't always listen to my NM playlists while writing/editing/formatting these posts. Maybe I listen to a specific album or an emo playlist. Or maybe I listen to a seven hour playlist featuring music from the precise time I was in middle school (why was it so eerily accurate, down to the years, to my specific experience? Creepy that it just randomly appeared on my recommended). Anyway the playlist still fits because I first found GA when I was in middle school so I associate it with this particular era.

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[lisbetadair]

Your recent reblog has left me wondering who could possibly die in the third game.. tbh I'm scared while hoping this doesn't happen, but because it's MW3 we're talking about, you know it means trauma and disappointment at its finest..

If they ever make the deaths referenced to the OG's, you'd know how shattered we'd all be 😭

You know I have a theory: .. I think Soap would survive. That man just started his journey and it'll make a lot of sense when we'd see him grow into a Captain and carry onto those memories. Ghost has a probability that he might survive because of the term he said before, "you can't kill a ghost".

So the probability goes on Gaz, and Price.. would the devs take away Price's immortality and finally put him to rest? To give a conclusion to the reboot MW series? Or would Gaz sacrifice his life for the Captain, as character development?

I've been thinking about this.

I actually hope that they have the fortitude to make some difficult decisions about character survival in the next installment, because I felt that by playing it so safe MW2 came across as very pedestrian. I suppose that coming of the back of plots that very edgy for the sake of it that perhaps pursuing a narrative where a main character died, or we were forced to torture a character, perhaps felt like creative stagnation. Nevertheless, Shakespeare wrote more than one tragedy.

I disliked in MW3 2011 that Soap die, because with him being Price's protege, and the previous narrative being about his story moving forward through gaining his commission and his promotion to Captain, that him dying but Price moving on, felt unsatisfying to me. If Price had died in Prague, and the story been about Soap's duty to vengance, it would have felt that Soap had closed off part of his life (leaving Price on the bridge) in a satisfying manner. But I digress.

Gaz's journey, I agree, is about learning from a mentor in the form of Price. In my opinion, the natural conclusion of this is him to spring forward and take command on his own, but I very much feel like the game hasn't shown me that he is ready to do this. Certainly he's developed in the sense of what he believes is ethical and acceptable, but we've never seen him leave Price's shadow. If Price died, Ghost is next in line for command (so nowhere for Gaz to go) and I just on't know if I could find that believable. It's also the reason why another tea-shop type epilogue scene where Gaz is offered the chance for commission doesn't feel satisfying unless we see some serious character development in the game. There is a part of me that wonders if Gaz has come as far as he will go, in which case, unlike MW3 (2011) Soap, it makes sense for him to complete his journey with Price (through death, possibly) and Price to move on to another apprentice. There's tragedy in this because Gaz stagnated, didn't realise this and move on, but it's more satisfying in that it draws something that has reached the end of it's journey to a close.

Soap and Ghost on the other hand are in some kind of mutual co-dependance as well as having a mentor-mentee relationship. Ghost is (and we'll gloss over that Soap is the only demolitions specialist who doesn't appear to known how to blow anything up) teaching him skills, and Soap is encouraging Ghost socially. These two will need to be separate in order to grow, and I wonder if Ghost either actually dying, or Soap believing him dead, are reasonable conlusions.

I'd really like it to be the latter, because that fits in with the whole ghost theme, except I'd like the audience to be in on this when Soap isn't.

[daechwitatamic]

This chapter was a masterpiece. You had me crying literal tears of pain at some moments and my heart absolutely melting at others. How dare you make me experience so many emotions on a Friday! As punishment, you must read my novel of a reaction below.

Wow. Taehyung. Just wow. Let me tell you, his reaction to this situation is worse than I even expected. When Y/N pushed him away, instead of him trying to explain his feelings, he just got so mean. "You said we're the same as we've always been? You're a fucking liar." WOW. I gasped. The man deserves to get slapped. Proof that the kiss wasn't because he cares about her, it's because he's trying to punish her because he has some twisted belief he's been wronged. And the man is also giving me whiplash. His text messages seemed so apologetic and caring, but then when he showed up at their apartment his attitude had done a total one-eighty and he was just so awful to both of them. The man has some serious work on himself to do. 😤

Also this Namjoon is perfection. I could never imagine someone possibly reacting in a more mature, supportive, and helpful way to this entire situation than he has. And honestly Y/N too has been so mature and self-aware, questioning the healthiness and validity of her own self-doubts before acting. It's beautiful to see two characters like this. At every point where I thought things between them were going to veer off into a point of miscommunication or misunderstanding, they worked through it together.

I loved their moments at the pond and especially when Namjoon confessed that Y/N makes him feel like he can just be his unfiltered, nerdy self with her and hasn't felt that way around anyone else. We've seen so much of Namjoon being there for Y/N throughout the story that it was so sweet to see him acknowledge how she's made him feel supported and seen as well, even if it wasn't through any particular hardship.

As for the POVs, I'm so glad you are thinking of writing the Taehyung one, I think this would be so interesting to see and I really want to know what is going on inside that man's head because his actions are... not it. Maybe it's because I have it so down bad for Taehyung, or maybe it's because I have a soft spot for an emotionally illiterate idiot best friend who doesn't realize he's in love with the girl until it's too late (and just read @foxymoxynoona's very different but also amazing story around this concept, "Tell Me What Changed", highly recommend), but I am still holding out hope for some sort of a redemption arc for him. You're right that you do give us a lot of Namjoon's perspective already, and that unlike Taehyung one of the beautiful things about him is that he actually communicates his thoughts and feelings (imagine that!) to Y/N, so we don't have to guess what's going on inside his head. But I think Namjoon's character is someone who is so careful and thoughtful with their words, I'd be curious to get a peek into his raw, unfiltered thoughts. Like what was he really thinking after their steamy night together, on their date, when he was outwardly being so mature about letting her meet up with Taehyung, etc. But I think you answered some of those questions in this chapter as we saw Namjoon process the aftermath of seeing the kiss, so I perhaps spoke too soon! Also I live for the teaser updates almost as much as I do the new chapters. It sounds like Taehyung is hopefully read to be a bit more mature about things, but we'll have to see, I've been fooled before. I cannot believe we only have one chapter left!!! Hope life is treating you well, Jo! <3 🌴

okay listen i'm gonna put this whole response behind a cut because i'm gonna talk a LOT about my characterization of taehyung and it MIGHT delve kind of into spoiler territory so if you want to wait and read what i have to say after NEXT friday that's totally fair.

SPOILERS PROBABLY HAPPENING BELOW OKAY

"punishment" pls i wish every reader did this lol

okay i have a LOT to say about taehyung. if you got this far and didn't expect me to come back with a "yes, but -" about him.... idk what to tell you because i've been doing this since the drop lol

"instead of trying to explain his feelings, he just got mean" so let's talk about this!!!! because you're right! he got nasty! something i tried to write into this taehyung is that he bites when he's scared, hurt, or embarrassed. and in that moment, when his life-long best friend physically pushes him away and curses at him and MEANS it, he's suddenly all three of those at once. like people aren't perfect, and i meant for this taehyung to be very not perfect. but it's real, right? i know people like this. they aren't bad people but they have to work on themselves to fight that instinct! and it's kind of a callback to the chapter when the guys were like "what if she moves on from you" and he was - scared, embarrassed to be called out, and he reacted this way too.

a step sideways for a second - let's examine what he's SAYING though!!!!!!! she told him "we're the same as we've always been". what does that actually mean? i'm still in love with you? i'm still following you around in hope that you'll want me? you're still my whole wide world? maybe taehyung didn't say it NICELY but at the end of the day he's RIGHT - she's lying. he's losing her in real time, watching it happen, and she's lying to his face about it! ANYWAY

back to the original thought - if you look again at the scene in the hallway, there's something i want to point out. Taehyung's nasty - to Namjoon. He is! Super nasty! I am not contesting that AT ALL. But - but. The second reader steps into the hallway all that bite vanishes on the spot and he goes straight to pleading with her to hear him out. even after he swallows the fact that he can't talk to her without an audience (the audience that he is FURIOUS at/about, that he sees as the reason he's losing His Person) once he's talking to HER all he does is beg her to talk alone and apologize again! he actually isn't nasty at all to READER in that moment! Only to Joonie!

As for "proof that the kiss wasn't..." I'm not gonna speak to that part - his motivation - until after next chapter. i promise it will be addressed IN FULL.

listen so we're far enough in the story that i can say this. it was VERY important to me when i wrote this story that the conflict was never between reader and namjoon. once they started shit, they were fine, they were a team, they were gonna handle shit together. in many, many ways, this is really the story of taehyung and reader since that's where the main conflict lies. the story of how their friendship has to navigate this part of their lives that would have been weird and difficult even if it hadn't been namjoon. i almost put tae also on the banner because it is, in my eyes, equally his story - but i didn't want to encourage anyone who thought reader should've picked him lolll.

okay this might be spoilers I guess!!! i just want to say... i don't know that i wrote taehyung a redemption arc? i think i'm leaning to say that i did not? and it's just kind of.... idk in real life not everyone gets redemption redemption? sometimes the best we can do is say 'wow i was wrong for that', apologize, and try to make little babystep changes in our life to try and do better going forward? and that doesn't feel like a ~redemption arc~ necessarily but maybe that's the best we can do sometimes? NOT THAT I'M SAYING THAT'S WHAT WILL HAPPEN FOR TAE >_>

I ALSO CAN'T BELIEVE THERE'S ONLY ONE LEFT asjfhkasfhajkfh i'm UPSET

thank you so so much for coming along this craziness with me, i absolutely live to hear your thoughts, and i'm sorry i am Like This about defending taehyung lmfaoooo

hope you've been well!!!! <3

[babytowntm]

Branching out/ becoming adults

me again!

I'm going to be in a discord call soon with some friends of mine that I've tried to keep in touch with reguarly since our graduation last year.

We're all pretty busy though so it is quite hard, and finding time is difficult. we usually have these discord meet ups once every few months so we can update each other on our lifes and accomplishments. We also use our group chat frequently for that.

One of my friends, Annika, is currently undergoing job training as a chemical laboratorry assistent. She works in labs all day and is studying chemistry at the moment, until she gets moved to the green houses that they keep on the facility. I promised her I'd go see her facility next year so she could maybe give me a tour of the whole thing.

Another friend, Celine, is studying at uni to become a graphic designer. Originally she wasn't interested in the subject and she never really showed any passion or interest for it, at least not during our school years as far as I can remember. She started studying from home and doing an online bachelors degree. I hope she succeeds in doing so.

And lastly, Lorika, a friend of mine who needed some time to really find her way and what she wanted to do. Lorika is kind and very patient, but also a bit naive and unsteady when it comes to making decisions for herself. She needs a lot of time to think and even when decided, often thinks about the "what-if" possibilities.

Her parents are very strict, immigrant parent's are always like that one might say, and I guess in this case it is correct. They expect a lot from her and especially from her career path. So what happened? They forced her to take on a scholarship at a university to become a grade school teacher.

Shortly before we graduated, she applied for university- a uni that would be a 3h drive away from home. She even moved so she could be closer, applied for student aid and got herself a flat. Then the problems arose when she found it hard to make friends or even survive a normal day. She didn't enjoy her studies anymore (grade school teacher) and wanted to quit. Her parents didn't let her though so she was forced to suffer an entire year of uni before her parents gave out and she moved back home with them. Ever since of January 2022 she has been thinking about possible career paths for herself, maybe getting influenced by her family in the process. They ranged from Kindergarten teacher to social worker to "working with the disabled".

In the end she decided she'd to a few testing phases and applied for a few unpaid internships to gain experience. I'm proud of her, she really came a long way.

Welp, and I guess I never disclosed on here what I do. i'm also doing online uni from home to support my mom (single parent) with upkeeping the household and chores whilst also maintaining a close bond with my friends in the area. I'm working part time at an embroidery shop and study to become a social worker one day.

And by now a few of you might be thinking why I am even talking about this, and I guess I don't really have a reason other than to portray how different each of our lives have become over just one year. We've all branched out in different directions, with different interests, hobbies, study buddies and friend groups

Not going to lie, keeping in touch with friends from school is hard sometimes and it does take a lot of effort. It isn't easy to find time for each other anymore, unlike back then when you'd just meet up during lunch hour and talk about our day or teachers.

It is exciting though isn't it? We're becoming adults, slowly but surely, and it's amazing to see that development. Hopefully I'll keep that connection with them, because they mean a lot to me, but it's a bit unsteady from time to time. Sometimes we'll have months go by with that one friend just never answering or even letting us know if they're okay, and other times we'll talk on the daily.

I guess in some way this is your reminder, from little me to you, to maybe check on your friends that might have been on the down low lately.

[casspurrjoybell-31]

The Consort - Chapter 21 - Part 1

*Warning Adult Content*

Finn

It doesn't take long for Kelly to find me and when he does, I don't even try to run.

I slump against that tree with strained muscles and tear-stained cheeks, replaying my conversation with Brayden over and over again.

Kelly awkwardly takes me into his arms.

He's not used to traveling with humans and every few minutes my head clunks against the side of his elbow.

I don't fight his touch as the two of us speed away from the dilapidated subdivision and into the heart of the forest.

Everything becomes a blur.

I assume we're going back to the tree-house but I can't be sure.

Hues of crisp orange, yellow and red glint against the shimmering sunlight, the seasons continuing their journey of change despite the bloodshed happening around it.

After what feels like an eternity has passed, we arrive at our destination, a place that I thought I'd never step foot.

Brayden's home.

Kelly ushers me through the front door, eyeing the vicinity around us to make sure no one is following.

I step into the front foyer and suck in a breath of awe.

Ribbons of gold line the walls and the marble staircase.

My eyes dance up to the dome shaped ceiling where thousands of twinkling lights are hanging overhead.

"Beautiful..." I murmur.

I know I shouldn't like being here, a place that smells like Brayden's very essence.

The immortal man literally just got done serving me on a platter to one of the most villainous creatures known to mankind.

Yet being here calms me.

It's like the house has a personality of its own, sliding its arms around me and whispering soothing words to protect me against the outside world.

Kelly takes me on a brief tour.

We come to an abrupt stop at the first door on the second floor... a small guestroom where Kelly informs me we'll be staying.

"We?" I ask.

"I was instructed to stay by your side at all times," Kelly responds, closing the door behind us.

"That's really not necessary."

Kelly shrugs.

"An order is an order."

I sigh with defeat and glance around the new room.

The light in here is much dimmer than in the foyer.

A curved lamp sits near the side of the room next to a leather couch.

It's lightly furnished, only a bed and a small dresser taking up space amongst the vastly polished, wooden floor.

When I notice there's a small, attached bathroom in the corner of the room, I ask Kelly for a moment of privacy.

Even if most of the vampires don't have bathrooms in their homes, it seems once again that Brayden is the exception to the rule.

At least this time it's an exception which makes me ecstatic.

Then again, if this bathroom has been here for a while, it also appears I'm not the first human Brayden has entertained... I set my jaw firmly and wash my face and hands, taking special care around my chapped knuckles.

The sound of rushing water splashing into the marble faucet brings me back to my shower last night.

I can almost hear Axel flipping the pages of his book beside me, just a thin layer of shower curtain separating the two of us.

With a shudder, I slap off the faucet and pad back into the room.

The bed bends to my weight, so unlike the rickety mattress I was forced to use during my captivity with Axel.

I pull the thin blanket and comforter around my shoulders and cuddle into its warmth with a yawn.

Kelly's gaze flickers to me from across the room just briefly before going back to his electronic device.

The soft light of the screen bounces against his features.

Since picking me up a few hours ago, he hasn't said much.

Then again, now that Kelly has changed, he doesn't say much at all.

I take a deep breath, inhaling the smell of the blankets that are rich with Brayden's decadent scent.

The silk brushes against my skin and I shiver.

It reminds me of Brayden's touch... soft as satin and perfect without fail.

I push the comparison from my mind and clear my throat.

Kelly glances at me yet again, this time his eyebrows pinching together with irritation.

"You really should go to bed," he grunts.

"I'm scared to fall asleep," I say with a heavy sigh.

"The past week has been a nightmare."

Kelly's fingers waiver above the screen of his device.

"You may not realize it now but the nightmare you lived for a week will save countless lives."

I swallow down my reply, thinking back to Brayden's confession in the tree-house.

He made it clear he didn't save me for me, he saved me to protect mankind.

I know Axel was awful.

I saw firsthand what he was capable of doing.

Regardless, Brayden had no problem sending me to the lion's den without thinking twice about it.

He simply didn't care.

"Never mind," I mumble, pulling the blankets over my head.

I force my eyes closed, trying to both ignore and wallow in Brayden's scent.

Sleep caresses my mind.

It nudges and prods me forward, lightening my thoughts.

"He was the one who changed him, you know."

Kelly's voice jars me back into a wakeful state.

[hinatastinygiant]

Chapter Twenty Six

Platycodon

Pairing: Atsumu Miya x Fem!Reader

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After your talk with Daisho, you drive back to Atsumu's house and gather up the money you've earned so far. Atsumu isn't around thankfully, but you gather your things quickly. You then drive off to the nearby mall's parking lot and wait in your car with the doors locked. About five minutes later, there's a knock on your passager side door. You look over to make sure you know who it is before unlocking the door. He then opens it up and steps into your car.

"Hello, Y/N," he greets you as he shuts the door behind himself.

"Kuroko. I'm sorry for meeting like this but I'm at the point where I don't know who I can trust anymore," you tell him.

"Is this about Osamu's disappearance or about the money you owe me?" he asks calmly.

"Listen, it wasn't until recently that I found out why our two gangs never got along. It's quite clear to me now that my dad was a total asshole and he clearly overstepped his boundaries. There's nothing more in my power that I can do to show you my apology besides promising you that it will no longer continue to happen. I will make sure you get back what is rightfully yours and make sure it's known within my syndicate to stay within the confines of our syndicate's domain," you explain sincerely.

Kuroko nods once you're finished speaking. "You make quite a good leader, Y/N. I accept your apology and do hope that our syndicates can get along in the future after, of course, you pay what is owed."

"I thought you would say that," you begin as you reach into the back part of your car, "but this really is an emergency. You see, I recently found out what happened to Osamu. I believe that two of my kyodai's, Oikawa and Ushijima, worked together to murder him."

You pull up a black backpack and place it into your lap. You then unzip it and show Kuroko all of the money you had worked so hard to earn within the past few weeks. 

"I know it's not everything, but I will stop the killing, stop the stealing," you plead to him.

"In exchange for?..."

"I want them both dead. Oikawa and Ushijima," you admit bluntly. 

"Okay, well do you have some kind of plan? You can't just spring that on me with no real plan and expect me to be on board with the whole thing," he replies.

"We'll meet at the end of this week. I'll tell my syndicate that I didn't give you the money in time and that you are planning to come for me. Oikawa and Ushijima will of course be on the frontlines of this battle. When the time's right, we'll turn on them," you explain a bit scatterbrained.

"And what do you expect us to do in the meantime? Kill each other or sing while we're all holding hands and skipping in a circle?" He then takes a moment to pause and realize what he said is so unlike him. "Sorry, kinda sounded like Aomine there for a sec... Anyways, what do you want me to do?"

"Make it look like a real fight," you tell him. "I'll get my hands dirty, too, I won't just sit back and watch. But I'll give my kyodai's a heads up before we go. Like I said before, I don't plan on letting you lose anyone else."

"And after it's done?" he asks.

"I won't be as forgiving as I was when Daisho murdered my father and my brother. I learned my lesson about being too soft from that," you smile.

"Good. I wouldn't want our work to be all for nothing," he nods in agreement with you. "Let's meet up again soon. I mean, apart from this fight. I enjoy listening to your ideas, they're quite interesting. I wish nothing but the best for a benevolent leader like yourself. See you on Saturday," he then smiles as he takes the backpack from you and zips it up. "Consider us even after this, yeah?"

"Are you sure? All I've done is ask more of you," you sigh.

"I'm sure," he grins once more. "Get home safely!"

Kuroko then steps out and slings the backpack over his shoulder. You watch as he walks away to his car, waiting for him to get inside before you pull out of the lot. You then drive out and head back to Atsumu's house.

When you arrive, you pull out your phone from your back pocket and see that Atsumu's called you twice and sent you a few messages asking where you are. You sigh knowing that you lied to him about where you went and that you'll need to tell him the truth. Besides, you were supposed to be home early to have dinner with him.

The second you open the front door and step inside, you hear Atsumu rushing in your direction. By the time your shoes are off, he slides around the corner and almost slips as he runs in your direction.

"Are you alright?" he asks. "You've been out since this morning. Where'd you go?"

"I wasn't out all day," you say to avoid the inevitable. "I came back a little while ago and you weren't home."

"I went to the casino. I thought maybe you had gone there. But Aoi said she hadn't seen you all day. You said you were going out with your friends!" he tries to say calmly without prying too much, but his nerves are showing right through.

"I know, I'm sorry," you say as you step up from the genkan and walk past him towards the living room. "I should have told you that I was going out with Oikawa but I didn't want you to worry and get all weir-"

"You went out with that asshole again?! Y/N, I'm telling you something's shady about that guy!"

"I know that, Tsumu! If you just let me explain, then I can-" you stop as you turn around and almost bump right into him. 

"What's wrong," he asks as he looks at you intensely. "What happened? Did he do something to you? He tried something, didn't he?"

"Calm down, I'm trying to tell you!" you groan. "I'm perfectly fine. Will you let me explain?"

"Yeah, sorry. I'm sorry, Y/N," he replies as he shakes his head. "Go ahead, I'm ready to listen."

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