#web development courses list

[jaylver]

WEBS OF HURT — S.JY

synopsis: Falling for your best friend wasn't on your check list for high school. As if that wasn't enough to break your heart, his odd behaviour only added fuel to the fire along with a new crush of his. Who knew that odd behaviour would soon turn into a secret truth that you'd discover after his valiant effort of hiding.

pairings: spiderman!jake x afab!reader

genre: best friends to lovers, unrequited love, miscommunications, spiderman au, angst, romance, fluff

warning(s): profanities, mentions of alcohol, party, violence, injury

wc: 10k

a/n: tried something new! a little birthday gift from me <3 please leave a feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated! muah xx

masterlist | © jaylver all rights reserved.

Falling in love with your guy best friend was probably the worst thing ever to experience when it came to girlhood.

High school should be fun, right? Being a teenager should be fun, right? Well, that wasn't exactly the case when you found yourself feeling more than just a mere liking towards Jake Sim, the guy best friend you mentioned and was entirely, love sickeningly, in love with. 

Jake Sim was the first guy you actually built a solid friendship with. It first started when he sat beside you in calculus, then you realised you had more classes with him and a friendship eventually developed when you started acknowledging each other. One class together soon turned into years spent with one another. You knew his family and he knew yours. Nothing could ever break the bond between you and him.

You just couldn't help but notice a slight change in him after the death of his uncle, Ben. At first, you figured it might've been grief, trying your best to offer your utmost support. But as months flew by, the oddness persisted. He would disappear in between classes, sometimes standing you up at places you were at together and returning a little scathed, making it up to you by promising for a redo hang out. All of that was weird. Let's not get started on the fact he caught your stuff falling way too many times, even when his head was faced away, his hand would reach out first. In his words, he called it his 'spidey sense', whatever that meant.

However, you never doubted him. He was still the best friend you had, even if he had some tweaks to him. You never once questioned him or brought up your suspicions, but this time, you couldn't help yourself from bombarding him with questions when he broke the news to you.

"I think I have a crush," Jake announced the moment he was in your presence, sounding a little out of breath considering he made a run to the cafeteria. The tray of food was untouched, quite unlike him since he always dug into his food first.

"You 'think'?" You hummed, ignoring the mixed feelings you had blaring loudly. 

"Okay, I know I have a crush," he has yet to start eating, just staring expectantly at you, eyebrows furrowed at the nonchalant and dismissiveness in your tone. 

"You're being for real?" You finally turned your head to meet his eyes, placing your fork down. 

"I am! I think it's kinda crazy," his eyes twinkled, something quite rare but only you knew, like a comet in the sky. 

"Who is it?"

"Gwen,"

"Gwen? Gwen Stacy?" You swallowed back a frown that was itching to make its way to your lips, masking it with your best shot of shock instead of disappointment. Of course it was the golden girl, what a cliche plot.

He nodded, a small smile rested on his face as he started digging into his food. "We … talked? Talked about some science things, about Oscorp, about the things she's working on. Oh yeah, she said there's this party on Saturday and wondered if I wanted to go, I said I wanted to bring a friend and she's cool with it,"

"I assume I'm that friend, then?" You poked at your food, suddenly losing your appetite as the conversation progressed.

"No, it's Carlos—of course it's you, dumbass," he flicked at your forehead, earning a firm scowl from you. "You're my best friend, my only ever, I'd be insane to think otherwise,"

You chewed at your lips, not because you were contemplating whether you should or shouldn't go, but it was mainly due to the word 'best friend' that got your attention. There goes your hope down the drain. First, being told your best friend who you have a crush on already has his eyes on someone else, then, getting friendzoned by that same exact guy, all in one shot. It's brutal out here.

"So what do you say?" Jake's voice broke the momentary silence, noticing your dazed expression. You snapped out of it almost immediately.

"I'll go,"

"Really?"

"Do you want me to say no instead …?" You raised an eyebrow, watching him scrambling at your words.

"N–no! I'm just shocked and very glad you agreed to come," he managed a laugh, which turned into a smile. 

"Am I going to get ditched that night because you want to get your dick wet?"

Jake scrunched his face up in a look of disgust. "Can you not? I don't need you to say that. And no, I'm not going to ditch you,"

"I'm holding you to it."

Jake shot you a wink, earning a figuratively loud eye roll from you. His laughter filled your ears, and though you managed a smile, you found yourself feeling the opposite internally. You knew you shouldn't feel this way, it's not like you were even in a relationship with him in the first place. But God, why did it hurt so bad?

Who told you friends to lovers was cool when it was unrequited and one sided all along.

"You know, you look good either way,"

Jake Sim was sitting on the edge of your bed watching you put on makeup and getting ready. It was a few hours before the party and Jake had turned up looking nervous, wearing that lucky graphic tee of his that you recognised quickly. Your teasing definitely didn't make him smile, and you soon realised that the crush he had was actually serious.

You glanced at him, raising an eyebrow despite feeling the giddiness from the effects of his nonchalant words. He has to stop that. "Are you trying to butter me up to get me to move quicker?"

"Whaaat? No way. You genuinely look good whether or not you have makeup on, seriously," he was genuine, you could tell, but you knew him better than anything. It was quite a fatal flaw.

"Give me ten minutes to finish the other eye then we can leave."

At that, Jake sighed in relief and fell back onto your bed, kicking his legs patiently. He couldn't stop talking about the party and the people who'd be there, but honestly, you could tell he was just trying to not bring up Gwen at any given moment. Knowing that, you wished the mascara wand would just poke into your eye, maybe it'd hurt less compared to how your heart felt.

"Does my shirt look lame—"

"Dude, shut up," just before you and Jake entered the house, he was asking for another reassurance. First, it was his hair, then his shoes, and every other piece of clothing, leaving his shirt for last. It took everything in you to not punch him along the way there. "I swear, no one will care. If anything, isn't that your lucky shirt?"

"It is my lucky shirt. But whether or not that lucky shirt looks good, that's the case," he glanced down at his graphic shirt, a picture of a rock band from the 2000s staring back at him.

"Trust me, if it's ugly, I would've asked you to change, now shut up and get your ass in there before I leave you here," you huffed and continued walking, hearing him mutter something before catching up with you. 

Upon entering the house, you figured it was as underwhelming as you expected. The smell of sweat and flavoured smoke filled the air, high school students lingered around as the music blasted. You should've probably stayed home.

"So, you got your pick up lines ready?" You thrusted a cup of fruit punch into his hands, tilting your head in question. 

Jake rolled his eyes. "I'm afraid Google has failed me on that one," he looked around the room, shoulders tense.

"Calm down, big guy. You're acting like you're being hunted down. She's not that scary," you patted his shoulders as he took a swig out of his cup.

"Not scary? Says the one without a crush,"

How ironic.

You brushed it off, finding yourself taking a big gulp as well. He was oblivious and you were just stupid. Stupidly in love with your best friend who has his eyes set on another girl. Perfect.

"I think I see her," you followed his line of sight, spotting a blonde in the midst of the crowd almost immediately. She made her way through, parting the mass with a certain grace to her aura. 

Jake looked back at you, a mix of conflict written in his features. You read him well, too well. You offered a smile. "Go, go talk to her. Just text me when you're leaving, okay? You said you're not going to ditch me,"

"I won't," he laughed, but there was a certainty in his tone. 

"Then go, what are you waiting for? I'm expecting a whole loads of information by the end of the night," you gave him a slight push, but you could see the small reluctance he had. "Go!" Off he went into the crowds and gravitated towards her. 

You couldn't bear to witness it all, watching him leaning down as she laughed into his ear. The feeling of bitter jealously coursed through your veins, it was evil, so evil, but you couldn't help it. At the end, you had to remind yourself, he wasn't yours in the first place. He wasn't yours to lose.

Turning your back to them, you sat alone in a stranger's kitchen and fought off the temptation of getting drunk. Instead, you indulged in the leftover pizzas left on the counter, letting a random girl join you and overshare secrets. Wallowing in self pity was probably not what you had in store for the night.

Almost as fast as you had arrived, it was already past midnight in a blink of an eye. You realised your curfew was around the corner and it was time to signal Jake to leave too. Glancing at your phone, you were surprised to see zero messages from your best friend. Weird.

You stepped out of the kitchen and into the living room, seeing a bunch of people passed out at the oddest spots, only a few still awake. One of them was surprisingly Gwen, the goody two shoes you had in mind was actually staying up past your curfew. You heaved a distressed yet exasperated sigh, walking towards her. 

"Hey, Gwen," you hoped she remembered you, considering you were in the same Chemistry class as her.

"Oh, hey. Y/N, right?" She flashed you a sweet smile, and it was painful to know how likeable and nice she was. You couldn't even bring yourself to hate her. 

"Right. Sorry for interrupting, but have you seen Jake around? The last time I saw him was with you," you unknowingly chewed on your bottom lip anxiously, taking the frown on her lips as a bad sign.

"He left," that was the least expected thing you anticipated as a response.

"He … left?" You repeated incredulously, almost as if she hadn't made it clear enough for you.

"Yeah, he suddenly said he needed to leave … in the middle of our conversation. An emergency or something. Kinda weird but kinda cute," she laughed, but you were holding back a disdainful scowl, reserved for both Jake and her, but most specifically Jake Sim. "Why? Were you with him?"

You bit back an immediate reply. As much as you wanted to say 'yes', you didn't want to blow off his chance either. "No, just … checking. He said he was coming tonight,"

"Oh, I see," 

"Yeah," you nodded rather stiffly and awkwardly. "I'll get going now, thanks,"

"See ya, Y/N. Until our next class," she gave you a salute, a melodious laugh escaping her lips.

You couldn't resist a smile either, saluting her back. There was a charm to her that affected people, it was understandable that Jake was charmed, but you hated to know that, and you did not want to understand it. For now, he was dead to you, just like how he has left you to yourself in the middle of a party at midnight. Was he Cinderella? Glad to know you weren't the only one who he pulled the disappearing act on. 

Clutching onto your jacket tight, you cursed every cuss words there were under your breath, all of which were dedicated to Jake. He had the audacity to leave without even leaving you a text, and that got you walking home in the dangerous night of New York City. Thanks a fucking lot. To say you were seething was an understatement.

You hated the streets of New York especially at night. To prove your hatred further, you just had to be at threat of an armed robbery there and then. 

"Hey! You there!" A dark figure approached from a distance, pointing at you. Oh God. "Got some money on you?" This couldn't be happening. 

"N–no," you said quietly, backing up quickly. His footsteps thundered loudly against the pavement, seemingly getting closer. 

"Don't lie, I see that purse on you,"

"I'm a broke high school student, leave me alone!" Was it sad to say that you were yelling the brutal truth to him?

"I don't care. Give me your purse—" his threat almost had you running in the opposite direction, but his sentence was never finished. Instead, a sharp unfamiliar noise shot through the silence, and a second figure in the distance appeared. That wasn't his partner, right?

Panic coursed through you, and yelling out was most likely the worst idea you had in ages. "Hello?" 

Silence. 

"Hello? Can I leave now?" 

"Yeah, you can," the figure walked under the lamp post, revealing himself. 

Spiderman? 

Clad in red and a mask over his head, he stepped towards you ever so casually, whereas you stood there absolutely stunned to even move. It wasn't an everyday occurance where you could personally meet the hero in flesh. The media might've painted him as some criminal, but to you and many other citizens, you knew that wasn't the truth.

"Spiderman," you greeted, anxiety lowered knowing you weren't getting robbed now. "Thanks for—that," you waved in the direction of where the man originally was.

"No worries," you noticed his voice seemed familiar, but before you could think more about it, he spoke with a sudden deeper octave. "It's—uh—not safe out here. What are you doing here anyway?"

"Well, for starters, my friend left me at a party that we were supposed to leave together without telling me, and now I'm walking home alone, until I almost got robbed," it was clear that anger and bitterness laced your voice, a deep frown etched on your face as you told Spiderman your concerns.

"Sorry," his voice became lighter, somehow sincere, which made you tilt your head in question. "I–I mean, sorry that he did that to you," he cleared his throat, straightening his spine and returning back to that deep voice. 

"I don't know what's up with him. He could've left me a text," 

He muttered something inaudible under his breath, then turned his focus back on you. "I'm sure he's very sorry, and maybe he's got a reason too. Try hearing him out,"

"I will. I always do. I'm just hurt, it's complicated," 

"What? What do you mean complicated?"

You shrugged, hugging your purse close to your chest. "It's nothing. I don't think Spiderman will be interested in my matters with my best friend. I'll leave you to your hero stuff and head home now. Thanks for saving me and the 20 dollars in my wallet,"

"Well—I—wait," before you could fully turn around and leave, his hand landed on your shoulder, stopping you in your tracks. "Let me walk you home. It's not safe,"

"Wouldn't it be weird if I turned up at my apartment lobby with Spiderman?" You crossed your arm, making quite a fair point. 

"You're right. What about I give you a swing?"

"What?"

Swinging around New York City was definitely an unforgettable but scary experience. You clung onto Spiderman, screaming like a madwoman as he had his arm wrapped around your waist. The touch was as familiar as his voice, hard to put a finger on but almost feeling like you've known him for years. 

You were about to point out your apartment but he had already beat you to it, not even needing you to tell you which floor or window it was, landing on the fire escape right in front of your bedroom window. That just further proved your familiarity towards him. 

He pulled your window open, signalling you to head in, but you were stuck staring at him, both in shock from the swing and the way he knew your place. 

"How did you—"

"Bye! Goodnight!"

You watched as he avoided your question and shot a web out to swing to some other building, leaving you stunned. How were you going to recover from this?

10/10 experience. Spiderman might just be your casual crush to get away from the thoughts of Jake. 

'BREAKING NEWS: bank robbery in downtown last night caused a chaotic and frantic disturbance, luckily, Spiderman was there to save the day and catch the robbers before anything major happened. Is he really as bad as they make him to be?'

The news of Spiderman saving a bank from a robbery right before your personal near robbery experience had you amused. The videos of him beating up the robbers and using his webs to tie them up were going viral all over the internet, even people in school were talking about it.

You were standing at your locker, digging for some textbooks before class started when Jake Sim himself appeared beside you. His presence was announced before he even spoke, but you didn't bother to spare him a glance.

"Y/N, I'm so so sorry about last night," he was heaving in breaths, as if he had ran across the school to find you, maybe he did.

"Oh, were you?" You clicked your tongue, suddenly finding the random piece of paper in your locker fascinating. 

"I am. Seriously, Y/N. I know I'm an asshole for that, I'm sorry for not texting you earlier and letting you know—"

"Jake, this isn't the first time you bailed on me," you cut him off, slamming your locker door close and turning to face him. The bruise beside his right eye caught your attention, and suddenly, your anger seemed to have sizzled away. "What the hell happened to your eye?"

It has become a common practice by now apparently. Jake disappearing and turning up with some kind of injury. Like always, he just brushed you off. "It's nothing, don't worry. It's not about me, it's about you. I fucked up this time and I know it, I'm sorry. An emergency with Aunt May came up a–and I had to go home early, I was too caught up in the moment to let you know. I'm sorry, really,"

You considered his apology for a moment. He was sincere, you knew that, but there was a certain dishonesty to his explanation. However, you didn't want to press on further either. "I understand. You probably always have a reason, it's just that I hate it when you disappear on me without telling me. I almost got robbed last night!"

It took him almost a few seconds to register, then another few more to compute a reaction. "What? Are you okay?"

"I'm standing here, aren't I? Spiderman saved my ass," 

"Spiderman?"

"Yeah, Spiderman. That guy who swings around New York. He saved me from some guy that was about rob me, because someone over here decided to leave early,"

"I'm sorry, okay? I'm just glad you're alright," 

"Well, thank fuck I am," you crossed your arms, staring pointedly at Jake. 

He dug something out of his backpack, a paper bag of some sort materialized in his hand. "I got you some of your favourite cookies and donuts. As a form of apology,"

You took the bag from him, glancing between him and it. "You can't just buy your way into an apology,"

"You accepted it, you took the bag," 

You rolled your eyes, unable to bite back. "Whatever," you reached in for a cookie and started walking away from your locker, hearing Jake scurrying to join your side.

"So, we're cool?"

You took a brief glance at him, taking a bite out of your cookie. "We are,"

Jake wasn't fully convinced, however. He knew you and your patterns, and he definitely knew which tricks to pull to make it better. "How about I treat you to some Chinese food tonight?"

That piqued your interest, an eyebrow raised at his question. "The one downtown?"

"That one,"

"You sure know how to get on my good side, Sim," you nudged his side, falling into one of his tricks once again. "Too well,"

"I know my ways to get to your heart, don't underestimate me," he said in a lighthearted tone, but God, you wished he would actually find his way into your heart. "Anyway, how was—uh—Spiderman, last night? Excusing your near robbery experience," he winced at the last part, though in reality, the accident hadn't shaken you as much as he had thought.

"He was nice! A little awkward but I kinda get it. He swung me back to my place, which was weird because he knew which window and level it was," you pursed your lips in deep thought, failed to realise the widened eyes from Jake and the panic that filled them.

"M–maybe, it was a wild guess," he said shakily.

"Wild guess? Don't bullshit me, Sim. A smart guy like you would know it's hard to do so," you waved him off, continuing to venture into your theories.

"Maybe he has some kind of sixth sense," he laughed rather stiffly, earning a suspicious narrowed stare from you. 

"Okay, big head, quit acting so weird. Let's just get calculus over with and then stop by that ice cream place after school, what do you say?" 

Jake's shoulders visibly relaxed, a sense of relief overtook his features. What was that about? "Sure. My treat,"

"God, Sim, you have to stop treating me or else I'll fall in love with you," you joked, even as it came out lighthearted, it was filled with a painful truth that you kept as a secret.

"Then fall in love with me."

You froze, almost unblinking. Something so intimate yet controversial had left his lips like it was nothing. It was probably nothing to him, maybe a mere joke even, considering how he let out a small laugh and smiled at your reaction. You tried to pretend it was nothing, but it wasn't nothing, not to you. 

For a second, you wished you weren't already in love with Jake.

Trying to be happy for your best friend shouldn't be hard, but why were you struggling with it so much?

First, you were literally in love with him. Yes, you've come to the conclusion that you 'L' word him, the big 'L'. Seeing him list out the things Gwen likes and hates reminded you of yourself knowing him equally that much too, which only pained you more than it reassured you. Second, he has been hanging out with her more. Not that you were completely friendless and have no one to hang with, but Jake was Jake, he was your best friend, and losing your best friend was the worst thing to happen. 

You didn't lose him, no, but it felt like you had. He barely made time for you, being caught up with Gwen, dates and school work, how could he not manage to squeeze you in there? You've always made time for him no matter what the occasion was, so knowing he didn't do the same for you just had you dying internally. 

It was a quiet evening in New York. The sun had just set and you were walking home from grabbing an early dinner alone. This time around, you were smarter than the previous round. Armed with pepper spray and a pocket knife, you prayed on a shooting star that an unfortunate incident would never ever happen once more. 

You were practically in your own world to even realise or hear footsteps approaching you from behind. By the time you did, your fight or flight mode was activated, almost throwing out a punch, just to freeze upon figuring out who it actually was. Spiderman.

"Walking home alone?" He kept up with your pace as you recovered from a momentary fright.

"Stalking me?" You wondered how he even spotted you in the first place. In the big city of New York, he's coincidentally strolling down the same street as you? As if. "Scared me, you know? Thought it was another round of getting robbed,"

"I'd be there to fight them off if that happens," he said with utmost confidence that it had you laughing a little, shaking your head in disbelief. Why did he remind you of Jake? It's a sign you should stop thinking so much about him.

"Really? I kinda doubt it. Unless you're keeping an eye on me or something, stalker," you teased him, egging him on further. 

"I'm not stalking you," his tone gave away the withering confidence of his. You smiled, feeling his lingering gaze on your face. Maybe it was just your mind that's overthinking, but his mannerisms reminded you too much of your best friend. It was in the way he walked, talked and how he normally did this thing where he walked with you and cast glances at you from time to time. Every little detail that you wished you couldn't list out was a part of the city's hero. 

He cleared his throat, straightening his back, trying to rebuild that confidence he originally carried. "So … how are things between you and your friend?"

"The one that stood me up at the party?"

He choked a little, but regardless, he nodded his head. "Y–yeah,"

You couldn't hold in a sigh from escaping your lips. Just thinking about Jake had you huffing in frustration. Spiderman picked up on it, shifting slightly beside you. "I guess not … good? Haven't seen him much and he hasn't been bothering to hang out with me anymore. I mean, I get he's making moves but why can't he just manage a little time for me? Maybe I'm too selfish but—" he's not mine anyway. You bite your tongue, holding back what you really wanted to say. 

The hero beside you was silent for a bit, as if walking on eggshells and picking the best words to say. "I think he'd come around," he said slowly, "he'd say a couple of sorrys, and you should tell him what's on your mind. Let him know. He'll understand," 

You chewed on your bottom lips, considering the possibilities, but totally also not expecting to get advice from the Spiderman like it was some counselling session. "I know he'll listen. He always does. But I don't want anything to change between us,"

"Nothing will change," he said with a kind of certainty that even you didn't doubt. How did he know? Who was he to judge? You didn't say anything, but just nodded. You knew Jake wasn't the type to argue nor take your words lightly, but you shudder at the thought of a confrontation, not that it was your first with him, but it felt much more emotional this time.

"I hope so. I miss him—oh, my place is around the corner, I can manage myself," you stopped before a turn around the corner, Spiderman following suit. 

Standing before him only increased your curiosity about his identity. Who was he? He was hiding under a mask that shielded his face, but something about him seemed less foreign than expected. 

"O–oh, then I guess I should get away too. Swing around the city and see whose ass to beat," he laughed awkwardly, a hand automatically reaching for the back of his neck, just like something Jake would do too. You shook that thought away. "Goodnight … stranger,"

"It's Y/N," you didn't hesitate to tell him your name, he saved your life, a little information about yourself wouldn't hurt despite him being a total stranger still. "Goodnight, spider boy."

You turned around the corner, leaving the hero standing there, bewildered and helpless. It was hard to ignore the pit in your stomach that carved deeper and deeper. He reminded you too much of your best friend, and strangely, that was probably the reason why you felt gradually attached to him, a stranger that resembled the ghost of a guy you liked but couldn't have. 

The space of your apartment was dark and soulless once you stepped into it. Your parents worked late as always, meaning you were alone most of the time, and this was one of them. Maybe it was the atmosphere and the countless wishful thinking, but a sense of despair knocked on the door of your heart. 

By the end of the night, you laid awake in bed thinking about what Spiderman had said. Nothing will change. That was exactly what you wished for too, that your dynamic with Jake was never to change, but how was that to happen when he's got a girl around? Eventually, you're not just going to lose the guy you loved, but your best friend as a whole.

Your train wreck of thoughts were interrupted the moment you heard a knock on your window. That knock turned into a tune that you knew too well. Sitting up straight in bed, you spotted the figure standing by your window out on the fire escape. Jake. 

At this point, you weren't even going to figure out how he got up this high on the fire escape. It was one too many times of him avoiding your question and you ended up dropping the matter too. Yet, curiosity itched your mind. 

Unamused at the fact that he turned up at possibly the wrong timing, you dragged your legs over to the window, meeting his bashful gaze. He offered a crooked grin, but your narrowed eyes only shot it back into a frown.

"Explain to me why you're here? It's midnight, Aunt May would be worried about you," your window was opened now, but you stood in the way before he could climb through, an interrogative look of yours stared at him accusingly.

"I told her I'd be over at yours," he answered cheekily. "Just like the old times, eh?"

Judging from your unbudging stance and eyes practically shooting lazers, Jake knew he had struck a nerve that have been left untreated for far too long. He sighed a defeated breath, squeezing through forcefully and dropping his backpack onto the ground. 

"I know," he didn't need to say much, yet he conveyed more than needed. "I've been a shitty best friend,"

It was your turn to sigh. You shook your head, averted your gaze to the ground and stepped aside, giving him more space. "You know a 'sorry' alone won't cut it this time,"

He followed your every movement, joining you to sit on the edge of your bed, a small space in between separated you and him. "I know. But I really am sorry, Y/N. I mean it,"

"I just want you to be honest with me, Jake. I know you're busy, I know you're trying to get the girl of your dreams or whatever, good for you, but it feels like you've forgotten about me or something,"

"I didn't forget about you. How could I ever?"

"Well, then stop acting like it! A text would suffice," you stood up, back facing him just so you could hide your face from him and the tears welling up in your eyes. 

"Y/N," he grabbed a hold of your wrist, cold fingers wrapped around your skin, his touch ever so gentle. "I'm sorry. I know I fucked up … many times, and a single 'sorry' wouldn't make up all the hurt I caused you, b–but there's a reason why,"

"What is it then?" You whirled around to face him, the dark of the room casted a shadow over his face, bringing out the fatigue and injury on his delicate features. "What the fuck, Jake? Are you hurt again?"

"It's nothing,"

"You said it's nothing every time you turned up hurt, and I never ask many questions, but Jake, it feels like you're hiding something from me," your hand reached up for his face, hovering over the bruises and mild cuts on his lips and skin. "I don't know you anymore,"

Jake moved his face away a little, grabbing that hand of yours which hovered over his face, lacing his fingers into yours, the rough surface of skin contrasting your soft touch. "I–I wish I could tell you what it is right now, Y/N, I really do, but it's not the right time. I need you to trust me, I need you to believe me, I don't want to hurt you,"

There was a moment of silence where you stood before him, hands intertwined with his, your hurtful gaze scanning his every feature that you knew too well. Jake never lied to you, you knew that, but why couldn't you fully trust him this time? There was a sense of truth and lie hidden behind his words, but you knew one thing, he was genuine. Yet, it wasn't enough. 

"Let me make it up to you. There's this carnival in the city tomorrow night, you and I, hang out, what do you say?" He tried offering a smile, which eventually turned uncertain. "We can spend the entire day together. Just you and me,"

"No bailing on me this time?"

"Promise,"

"You do?"

He held up your interlocked hands, then intertwined your's and his pinky fingers together, something you and him always did when it came to serious promises despite the childishness to the whole pinky promises thing. "Promise," he repeated. 

"I believe you, Jake. I always do, and I just don't want you to get yourself in danger, whatever it is that you're doing. Whenever you turn up bruised and beaten, I–I just feel helpless, and you push me away every time,"

"I'm sorry," he whispered, taking your interlocked hands and placing them on his chest, near to where his heart resided. "I promise to tell you the truth soon. I just need to be ready,"

"When you're ready," you gave his hand an affirming squeeze, a reassuring smile creeping up onto your lips. "Do you want to stay over?"

"I didn't turn up with a packed bag for nothing," he laughed, the air lightening up much more compared to earlier. "I'll sleep on the ground like always,"

Once you were done manoeuvring and setting up the sleeping bag for Jake, you were finally in bed for the second time that night, except now, you had Jake sleeping on the ground beside your bed. It wasn't a rare occasion having him sleep over, just maybe this time it was a tad bit more awkward given the situation you had earlier. 

"Jake," you spoke into the darkness, your eyes trained on that one spot on your ceiling. 

He hummed back in response. 

"Nothing has changed between us, right?"

A beat of silence, the whirring of your A/C was what remained. Then, he spoke. "No. Nothing's ever going to change. Nothing will change," 

It sounded familiar, the way he said it and the enunciation he had in every word. You shook it off, given the late night and a mushy brain, you didn't give it a second thought. 

"I'm glad. Goodnight, Jake."

"Goodnight."

Despite the reassurance from Jake, you descended into sleep with a pit in your gut. You could barely sleep with him next to you, thinking you could find a cure to every trouble that existed between you and him to fix it all. How could he say there'd be no changes when there's a bigger crack forming on your heart?

The next morning was like any other whenever Jake stayed over. An empty kitchen that allowed you to make some simple breakfast and after, you bid Jake goodbye for the moment before meeting him later on that day. 

Upon stepping into your room, you spotted a black lump sitting under the window. It was Jake's backpack. He was already long gone from your apartment by then. 

You advanced towards his backpack, held it up to move it somewhere else, but it only caused the contents inside to spill out. Knowing how clumsy Jake always was, you figured his backpack had been unzipped the entire time.

You glanced at the pile of mess littered on your floor, a clump of red catching your eyes amongst the rest. Curiosity got the best of you despite knowing you shouldn't pry, but the moment your fingers made contact with it, the question marks in your head increased by tenfold.

Spandex material. You pinched it at first, feeling the material against your skin, then you finally got the guts to hold it up entirely, revealing something far beyond expectations. 

Spiderman suit?

Was it a fake one? Jake could've always bought it from Amazon. You held it closer for inspection, noticing how it was worn out, slight tears on the bottoms. It couldn't be a fake, something in you knew. The dried blood stains on some spots gave it away. 

Everything made sense to you now. Jake being secretive, hiding the truth from you every time you asked, turning up hurt and disappearing at random times just for the news to report Spiderman's appearance after. All of them were finally connected in your head, and revelations about his suspiciousness were known by you.

It hit you. Jake was spiderman. Your best friend was that vigilante swinging around the city saving people and fighting crimes. He was the one who walked and swung you home. He always knew.

You let out a breath of disbelief, knees feeling weak and head spinning. How were you to shoulder the truth after this? Pretend like nothing's wrong when everything is wrong and weird. It was practically impossible to patch up the existing crack that continued to worsen. 

Shoving Jake's belongings back into the bag, you shouldered it and made your way to his place. Your mind was in a haze, the thought of him being Spiderman was hard to wrap around. Sometimes ignorance was genuinely bliss, you wished this was one of those times. 

You didn't know if it was a good or bad thing that Jake wasn't home when you turned up at his door, meeting a confused looking Aunt May instead. Apparently, Jake went out in search of his backpack that was currently in your hands, so you had no choice but to call him and wait for him to be back. 

How could you not have spotted it sooner? Now that you're in his bedroom for possibly the millionth time, everything seems clearer. The map of the city stuck on his wall which had random scribbles and locations circled in red marker ink stood out to you, the box of medicine and ointments sat on his bedside table that you frequently ignored. All the signs were presented before your eyes without your knowledge.

"Hey, sorry for keeping you waiting," Jake closed his bedroom door after almost half an hour of waiting for his appearance. His hair was dishevelled, clearly panicked and alarmed. 

"No, it's okay, we're supposed to meet up anyway," you sat up from lying on his bed, nodding at the backpack sitting on his desk. "Got your baby back,"

"Oh my God," he crossed the room with big steps and had zero hesitation when it came to unzipping it to check his belongings. "Did I leave it at your place?"

"You did," 

"Thought I left it out there somewhere," he murmured under his breath, then zipped the bag up. You knew why he was so secretive, and it made even more sense why he always brought it around. 

Jake most likely felt your wandering eyes on him judging from the way he spun around and shielded his bag from view, trying to divert your attention away. "Want to watch a movie?"

How could you possibly say no? That sly prick.

You didn't indulge in his suspicious behaviour further now that you were aware of his secret, though you pretended not to. He did say he would reveal it to you soon, but that 'soon' was quite unknown. At this point, you didn't know who was going to be the first one to reveal it. Either you or him.

You spent half of the day binging on movies, ate an early dinner and then walked to the carnival together. Along the way there, you couldn't stop yourself from taking quick glances at Jake. The street lights illuminated his features under the darkening sky, the loud chatter of the crowd drowned out and it was only him in your world. Even as he asked you questions, you blindly nodded to most of them. 

How could you not fall for him? He bought you drinks without question, won you prizes at those booths, held your hand as you walked through the crowds. It was as if Jake Sim himself was blind enough to not know what he was doing to you. 

"Enjoying the night?" Jake threw his arm around your shoulder ever so casually that it had you holding your breath for a minute.

"You won me a big bear, of course I am," you held onto the stuffed toy tightly, grinning at the memory of Jake winning during his first try. 

"What's next? Wanna stop by that art and craft booth then we go on the ferris wheel?" Jake definitely did know his way into your heart.

"Sounds good," 

You thought the night would eventually end with peace and quiet, but before it could even end, it had been ruined beyond belief. 

The big screen suddenly flashed to a news reporter, the background looking chaotic and people were fleeing. It was live news, the whole thing was happening as you breathed. You and Jake stood rooted, staring at the big screen just like many others did, listening in on the broadcast.

'Just in, a monstrous creature was seen terrorizing and climbing along the Oscorp building. It was spotted not long ago, but now it has disappeared into the building, its whereabouts unknown. Workers of Oscorp have fled the building, but not all of them, some were said to be present in the building until now.'

You glanced at Jake, a sinking feeling in your gut. It was a sour thought knowing he's about to get himself in danger yet again, but having him bailing once more cut deeper than a falling knife. As a human, you wanted him to save lives and the city. However, you were also his best friend, and you hated to be selfish, but you just wanted him to be there without having to leave every single moment.

The conflict in your eyes matched Jake's, who was evidently struggling with himself. You tried to mask it, yet hurt and sadness was hard to ignore or hide. 

"Oscorp … Gwen," the faint hush of a murmur was audible under his breath, causing you to cock your head at him.

"What?" 

"I–I, Y/N, I have an emergency," he removed his arm around you, the hold on his backpack strap tightened. 

"Jake," to scream at him? Let him leave? All of the above? You struggled with your emotions as you tried to understand and empathise, you always did, but couldn't you just have him this one time?

"I'm sorry …" his voice was weak, he knew how much pain and hurt he caused you, and retreating away from your disappointed face wasn't going to solve anything, just the problem downtown, but not the cracks that were forming right now.

"I know, Jake," you shouted when he was a distance away from you. He turned around, eyes widened and pupils blown, a mix of confusion and surprise painted his features. "I know about you,"

He was breathless, he didn't know what to say, so he didn't say anything. He left without a trace, and once again, you were left alone to fend for yourself. You wanted to understand, you do, but it was hard. 

You glanced at the big screen for one last time, uttering a silent curse under your breath, and decided to head to where the scene was. Crazy? Stupid? You were everything described. That was probably why you and Jake were best friends. 

Taking the cab was one of the stupidest decisions you made, and that excluded the part where you're literally bringing yourself to danger. Thanks to whatever that was terrorising the Oscorp building, the traffic was heavier than usual, so you had no choice but to run on foot. It was the most running you ever did all year.

You wondered if it was a good idea to even be there. Answer: no. The police cars were everywhere, all of which were stationed with police that were armed with rifles. A helicopter circled the building, several broadcasting stations and their reporters were present too. It was a mess. 

"What's happening here?" You were practically out of breath, panting, as you asked a random bystander there. 

"Some freakish lizard creature. I think Spiderman swung into the building to save the remaining victims. They were all rescued but Spiderman's still fighting in there,"

"You saw him? Spiderman?"

"I did! Red suit, white webs, he was so heroic when he crashed through the glass panels," 

"That's the one," you said unnervingly, disliking the uncertainty of it all. Jake was putting himself in danger and you could do nothing about it. How long did this go on for? You were left in the dark for far too long.

Soon, which almost felt like forever, you saw a speck of red escaping from the gap in the building with somebody in hand. You held your breath out of anxiety, heart thumping, listening in on all the noises and reports coming from everywhere around you.

"There he is! Spiderman!" A reporter appeared next to you, absolutely transfixed with the superhero slinging through the dark sky and eventually landing in the distance. "He has the last hostage in hand! A girl!" 

A girl?

You pushed past the crowd, trying to get a closer look at Spiderman and the entire scene before you. There he was, speaking to the police, but there was somebody else too. Gwen Stacy. 

An overwhelming feeling crashed down on you like a heavy weight of boulders falling from the sky. Confusion, hurt, heartbreak, altogether they penetrated you harder than you could manage to breathe. One step, two step, you took many steps back before turning away and hailing for a cab home. 

He wasn't yours, and he wasn't yours to lose either.

Returning home to an empty apartment was nothing new, except it did hit differently this time. Your heart was empty, mind in a haze, it was as if your narrator had drawn swirls over your head. You wished things had turned out in another way. You and Jake, how you found out about his secret, him hiding his secret. If only all of them had another ending than what you had in the present.

You sat slumped over in bed, the desk lamp was the only thing that provided light for the darkness in your room. The shadow looming over your window went unnoticed by you. That was until a series of knocks sounded and you jumped out of bed in alert, finding it strange how there was nothing once your eyes trained on your window.

Well, there goes your future. 

You stepped a little closer. Just then, the window was jerked open by some unseen force, a red cladded face peeking his head into frame. Spiderman, or more accurately, Jake, was standing on your fire escape again. 

He dropped his backpack onto your bedroom floor, letting himself in wordlessly. You stared at him, not knowing whether to speak first or let him be the one to do it. After all, he had left you hanging, it's the least he could do.

Jake pulled off the mask from his head, revealing a rather beat up face and messy, dishevelled hair that was coated with sweat. "You knew?"

His voice was tired, but the confusion and hurt punctuated through his words. He inched close to you, but you took a step back, unable to meet his gaze.

"Well, it wasn't a long time," you muttered. "Just today, actually … coincidentally,"

"How?" 

"Your backpack. I swear I didn't look through it, it was unzipped and when I picked it up, everything spilled out. Your suit revealed it all," you chewed at your bottom lip, Jake's eyes boring into yours, the prickling feeling of anxiety crawled all over your skin. "I didn't want to find out this way either,"

"I'm sorry for not telling you earlier. I wanted to, trust me, you're one of the closest people I have in my life. But I just didn't know when or how to break it to you. I wanted to protect you, to keep you safe," he was equally guilty for hiding it for a long time, but you understood the reason behind it. Being a hero comes with a great responsibility, that was what movies taught you anyway. 

"Jake, I know, and it's okay, but I just wish to be selfish for a little. I want you to be here with me, to be there for me a–and be my best friend for a minute," you felt yourself losing the will to speak as seconds passed by. "I feel like I'm losing you,"

"You're not. I'm here," he pressed his palm against his heart, stepping closer until he was barely a few inches away. "Always,"

"I don't want to lose you, Jake," your voice wavered, a clear sheen of tears glazed your eyes. "I'm in love with you," your words came out in a whisper, a hushed confession that spilled with no warning, coming from the deepest, darkest pits of your heart. Even then, you couldn't believe you had actually said it, stilling in place and blinking in shock. 

Jake's breath hitched, his movements frozen. You wondered about the possible scenarios you were about to face, ones that you thought of whenever you had the urge to spill your love confession.  All of them certainly didn't prepare you for what was happening next.

"I'm sorry," shock turned into instant panic. Your hands shot out to create a small distance between you and him. "Ignore what I just said. Sorry if I made you uncomfortable—"

Jake didn't say much, and in a swift motion, he grabbed a hold of your hand, pulled you into him. One hand holding your wrist, the other cupping your face to tilt your head and his lips met yours.

You could barely register it. The weight of his mouth against yours created a mass of fireworks in both your head and stomach. The shock evaporated from your body and relief took its spot. You melted against his touch, leaning your body closer to his. 

Jake kissed you like no man could have ever done. He left a part of himself, imprinted his every unspoken word into a deep and passionate kiss. You wondered if this was what it felt like being loved by him.

Forever was what you wished for when it came to kissing him. Yet, it eventually came to an end just like every one of your favourite movies. This time, however, you weren't disappointed, you were glad. 

"Don't apologise. Y/N, I'm in love with you too," his hand on your cheek remained, the dim light managed to bring out the sparks in his pupils. It was your turn to be confused. Didn't he have a crush?  "I know what you're thinking. Gwen—" it's freaky how he always knew, "—I was kinda dumb, to be honest. I was always in love with you but it took me years and a girl to only realise that,

"She was nothing like you. The more I got to know her, the more I thought of you. I wasn't trying to like her, I was trying to find a piece of you in her. Being the coward that I am, I ran away from facing the thought of liking you, I didn't want to ruin our friendship. So, I kept on entertaining the thoughts of liking Gwen instead, but none of it was real. You're the one who's constantly taking up space in my mind, in my heart,"

The fireworks from earlier exploded ten folds in your mind. You couldn't believe you were experiencing every passing moment listening to Jake's confession. He felt the same way as you did for him. He has had the same pining for you like the same way you had for him. Years, years of unspoken romantic love for one another that both were too scared to touch upon. 

Jake took your shell shocked silence as an opportunity to continue on. "I'm sorry for standing you up all the time. I'm sorry for hiding the truth from you. I'm sorry for avoiding you. I'm sorry for not realising it sooner. But I love you, Y/N. You're my best friend, more than anything, you're the only person I want to have occupying my mind all the Goddamn time,"

"Jake," your hand travelled to place itself onto his which rested on your face. "I love you too," you laced your hand into his, the intimacy that would've been seen platonic days ago was now something more than that. You and him both felt the shift, it was apparent. 

"I don't care that you're Spiderman," you continued, not once breaking eye contact with him, letting him stare into yours as you did the same. "You're Jake to me, you forever will be, and that's all that matters,"

Jake's delicate features melted into a smile. His pretty smile that had you swooning was on display like a trophy, influencing you enough to crack a small grin too. He looped an arm around your waist, dipping you slightly and pressing a haste kiss on your lips, then your cheeks. 

"I guess I can now say I've swung into your heart," he teasingly sent a wink flying at you, to which you responded with an eye roll. Some things never changed, but his ego definitely was inflated now.

"Shut up before I kick you out," you threw a light punch at his shoulder, which he dodged almost unsuccessfully. "Come on, let's patch you up then we can go to bed," you patted his shoulder, walking towards your bathroom. 

"Demanding," he whistled under his breath, picking up his discarded mask from the floor. 

"Don't make me add a black eye to your face,"

"But you like my pretty face,"

"You want to test it out?"

"Okay, okay. I'm coming."

The night eventually ended with Jake being patched up and sleeping on your bed instead of his usual spot on the ground. These little changes was what you anticipated most, but other than that, it was safe to say nothing would be changing when it came to your and Jake's relationship. If anything, it was about to be stronger. 

So what if he was Spiderman? At least you knew Spiderman was yours, and he had indeed swung into your heart.

Dating your best friend who had a secret identity was fun. 

You got to discuss maths in school and listen to his adventures after. Not to mention, he would swing you around New York City at times once the clock striked past midnight. No other girl was going to get a date like this. Ten out of ten, you may add. 

With the fun came the terror. You do fear for Jake's safety almost every time he's out, and it has become a routine to patch him up till the point where you had to restock your emergency kit. This time was like no other when Jake appeared through the window soundlessly in his Spiderman suit.

"Hey," he was breathless, tumbling over the window still. 

You jumped, not even realising his appearance. "What the hell? Jake? Oh my God," you got up right away to support his tired body, but he ended up sliding down onto the ground anyway.

"Are you injured anywhere? Bleeding?" You checked for his body, trying to spot any obvious cuts, making yourself comfortable in the space between his legs. 

"No," his hand reached for the end of his mask, pulling it up halfway only to reveal his lips. "Can I get a kiss?"

"Are you serious?"

"I am dead serious," 

You rolled your eyes, leaning down to press a kiss on his lips that eventually widened into a satisfied smile. You gently slapped his face, eliciting a sweet laugh from him and with a tug of his hand, he fully removed the mask from his head, revealing his pretty face that you missed.

"I got something for you," his hand reached out to brush your hair away from your face, his touch ever so gentle when it came to you. He dug something out of his bag, pulling out a fresh bouquet of flowers. "Ta-da," 

"Flowers?" You accepted the bouquet from him, noticing all of your favourite flowers in it. He remembered, even the littlest details about you, he remembered them all.

"I got them on the way here," you raised an eyebrow at him. He threw his hands up in defence. "Hey, I didn't steal them. I actually paid for them. They gave me a discount too because I was in my suit,"

You resisted a smile. "You're unbelievable,"

"Unbelievably cute? Romantic? Handsome?" He leaned in closer to you, noses close enough to brush against one another. 

"Go away," you squeezed his cheek, and he just let you do so without any fight. You threw your arms around his neck, hugging him briefly. "I like them,"

"What about me?"

"I like you too,"

 "But I like you more," 

You threw your head back laughing, a simple sound which was enough to have Jake's heart racing. "We're not making this into a competition, stupid. Now, go shower or else you're not sleeping on my bed,"

"But—"

"Nope. Shower or get exiled,"

"Fine," he dragged his body up sluggishly, looking almost like a puppy being forced to his dismay: the shower. "You're not joining me?"

"Don't make me chase you out." you threw a pillow at him that he skillfully dodged. Damn his spider senses. His laughter echoed around your bedroom until he disappeared into the bathroom, the sound of it gave comfort to you and your beating heart.

Things might've changed a little in different aspects, but you knew nothing could change you or Jake altogether. He was your best friend and lover no matter what he was. Spiderman or loverboy, he was everything to you. All you knew was that he was going to be by your side no matter what, protecting your heart alongside the city. 

( © jaylver all rights reserved. do NOT copy, plagiarise or edit my work and repost whatsoever. once discovered will be exposed and blacklisted. )

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[meraki-sunset]

so your crow strider au gave me inspiration for my own au, but i've built up the idea in my brain so much that now im scared to try to put it to paper (oops) did you ever deal with this while making crow strider? (and if you did, how you got over it would be much appreciated thanks fhdjks) also your art is cool :]

Hi, sure, i encountered a few blocks when writing CSAU and other projects. I think my method comes down to a couple rules

You need to know how the story ends from the start, so everything in the story leads to the end. Things can change about the contents of the story as you write it and you change your mind about the events that will transpire in it, but you need an end goal you can build your story towards. Most importantly, this is what allows you to add foreshadowing for said ending and structure the narrative in a clear direction. Otherwise, you might come up with a cool ending too late and regret some choices from past chapters that now don’t help this new ending you want

On that same note (and i’ll proceed to copy and paste from an old post) You need to have a Word document with a rough timeline of the events from start to finish. You need to know how it ends from the beginning and how they get there. It can be really, really vague, but it has to be there. It can go like

. They start the game, the trolls bother them.

.both games go to hell

.scratch

.trip, develop relationships

.new set of kids/teen drama

.old kids they get there

.to hell again

.John retcons everything

.new timeline

.they win

And that's homestuck simplified, Those are your Acts. With them, you will know where you're going and if you need to change something earlier. Everything will be constantly up to change of course, but you will be going from point A to point Z more easily.

From there, you go to every point in that list and create a Word document for all of them. I have them in different folders to have every act separated and in order.

A folder for each Doc for every Act, Numbered, and in each one make more lists like that one telling what happens, for example

WordDoc1 - ACT 1 "They start the game, the trolls bother them"=

.John needs to get his game

.introduce Rose

.introduce the trolls on pester chats

. John gets the game

.introduce Dave

.etc

And those are your chapters. Now you can know the extent of what you want to do and if it makes any sense.

I addition to that, every Folder can contain not only the Word document for the Act but also relevant texts and art that are connected to the Act, so evey folder is all about that specific act and any inspiration for it.

Another piece of advice I can give you is to hint at anything important. That's a rule of comedy; actually, the comedian usually closes the show with something related to the first things they said.

That works for everything, and makes people go, "Oh the thing! The meaningless thing they said earlier, it was a clue all along!"

Interconnect it like a web, and that web will stop the story from falling

Homestuck is so ridiculously interconnected that you lose track of the stuff and objects that repeat that have no way to be where they got to be, songs and people and events that are too similar to not be connected but nobody addresses, things like that make it feel like you're dealing with a universe and not just a line of events.

3. Yet another thing, it's something I'm still trying to assimilate, and is that less is more, sometimes things don't need to be said, specialy not bluntly, and an expression, a gesture, a flinch can summarize them. Backgrounds can be reduced, and ideas can be conveyed.

one example is, In homestuck, it's never said that Dave was raised with lack of food. He never sais it, but it's shown in how happy he was to find a warm bottle of juice in his closet, how there is only weapons on the kitchen and no sign of food, how he later sais he never learned what the purpose of a fridge was until he saw it on tv. If someone is lacking something, don't have them say, "i grew up without X thing" show what filled that space in the absence of X thing.

Instead of some character saying, "My dad was never there for christmas" have them say how they thrited for presents at the local goodwill, payed with their lawn mowing money and put the presents under the tree themselves for their siblings and mom.

4. Something that I always have in mind when writing the dialogs and sketching the scenes, is

"I have an idea; what's the easiest way for someone to get the idea, to get the feelings i want to transmit from the idea?" I made the art something I could handle drawing hundreds of times, simplified the coloring, the aspect symbols, the way I draw backgrounds, the way I write dialogs, etc.

That will save you time and work and could prevent you from getting stuck with a project too big to handle

5. This is the most important one: The first draft’s only purpose is to exist.

Writing is like playing darts sometimes; you only get closer to hitting the center by missing it and learning what not to do. That’s an actual rule on animation and a motto on the Disney office. “Get it wrong as quick as you can,” because when you learn what you’re doing wrong is when you start learnign what doing it right means.

If it helps, title your first draft “the dumb version,” because that’s what it is—the version to get the idea out of your head, and then you built over it.

On the same note, once you write "the dumb version" don’t correct it. Rewrite it. It’s annoying, I know, i know, but fixing and fixing a text only carries the mistakes from the first draft, and everything looks kind of disconnected, because it ends up being a Frankenstein text of all the versions of the story mixed together.

This also applies to art; that’s how I handle both writing and drawing; if it’s not working, hold onto the core idea, new page, restart.

Rewriting it puts it in perspective; it feels like a text of its own, with a clear intent in mind.

I think that’s all I have. Making a story is mostly about managing your strengths and weaknesses, organizing and not being scared of it not being perfect.

Hope this helps.

[blissfulvixen]

Simple Methods To Improve Your Intellect

Broaden Your Reading Spectrum

Cultivate a reading challenge list that encompasses:

• A biography of a person you hold in high regard

• A book exploring a country or culture that intrigues you

• A celebrated classic literature piece

• A contemporary science or technology book

• A book dedicated to self-betterment

Maximize Online Learning

Each month, choose a new skill or subject matter you’re eager to delve into. For example:

• Enroll in an elementary course of a language that you want to learn

• Engage in a creative writing workshop to bolster your expressiveness

• Get into a web development course to comprehend core concepts of coding

Prioritize Your Physical Well-Being

Incorporate brain-stimulating foods into your diet such as:

• Snacking on walnuts or blueberries during studying or reading sessions

• Integrating fatty fish like salmon into your diet biweekly

• Opting for tea or matcha over coffee for a mild caffeine dose and antioxidant advantages

Journaling Habit

• Weekly objectives and accomplishments

• Facts or knowledge you learned that week

• Motivational quotes from books or articles

• Personal insights or ideas inspired by your newly gained knowledge

Nurture Your Curiosity

Employ a curiosity journal to:

• Write down any questions that come to mind throughout the day no matter how insignificant they might seem

• Allocate a weekend morning to delve into those questions, utilize documentaries, podcasts, articles, etc

Adopt Mindfulness Practices

To weave mindfulness into your routine, consider:

• Start your mornings with a short, 10-15 minute meditation session focused on breathing to rejuvenate and sharpen your mind

• Taking short mindful walks, fully focused on the sensations and your surroundings to refresh your mind and boost creativity

[yunholic-jongholic]

Dreambound Seduction [Part 2] | OT8 Ateez x Succubus!Reader

SUMMARY | You were sent to Earth with a mission—to observe and ensnare eight men, all untouched and inexperienced. Your task was to infiltrate their dreams, seduce them, and make them yours. Though this was your first time carrying out such a mission, failure wasn’t an option. You had to ensure they craved you, surrendering themselves unknowingly, so you could feed off their energy and sustain your own existence.

PAIRINGS | OT8 Virgin!Ateez x Fem!Reader

RATING | Mature, 18+, NSFW, MDNI!!!

CONTENT WARNINGS | NSFW, Smut, Explicit Content, Hell Setting, Sex-Dreaming, Somnophilia, Bondage Kink, Teasing, Hand job (Reader Giving), Cowgirl Position, Unprotected Sex (Don't do that.), Creampie, (I might be missing some...)

WORD COUNT | 4.3k

AUTHORS NOTE | Second Chapter! SEONGHWA FOCUSED!!! I hope yall enjoy!

TAG LIST | @mingisleftnipple @atinyzen117 @nkryuki

•

A week had passed since your first successful seduction with Hongjoong, the lingering effects of your influence undoubtedly still coursing through him. But now, your focus had shifted to the next target—Seonghwa.

Unlike Hongjoong, you knew Seonghwa might be different. He carried himself with a quiet confidence, a composed demeanor that suggested he wouldn’t fall as easily. But that only made the challenge more enticing.

You had spent the past week carefully planning, ensuring that when the time came, everything would unfold perfectly.

To remain undetected, you were bound to your human form while carrying out your mission. Blending in was crucial, so you had established a routine—one that placed you exactly where you needed to be.

Every morning, without fail, you visited the café where Seonghwa worked. At first, you played the part of an ordinary customer, ordering your drinks with a polite smile, making casual small talk. But over time, you made sure to linger, to engage him more, to subtly pull him into your web.

You had noticed the signs—how his gaze lingered a little too long, how his voice softened when speaking to you, how he seemed to brighten whenever you walked through the door.

Seonghwa was developing a crush on you.

And you relished in it.

The way he grew flustered around you, how he fumbled slightly when handing you your drink, the shy glances he thought you didn’t notice—it was all working in your favor. You thrived on this power; on the control you held over his emotions.

Though you had fed off Hongjoong just a week ago, the hunger was already creeping back in. It gnawed at you subtly at first, a dull craving, but you knew better than to ignore it for too long. Patience was key, but so was survival.

As the next day arrived, you prepared yourself carefully, dressing in something that would subtly draw Seonghwa’s attention without seeming too obvious. With a flicker of energy, you summoned yourself back to Earth, materializing seamlessly into the human world once more.

The familiar scent of roasted coffee beans filled the air as you stepped into the café where Seonghwa worked. The warm ambiance hummed with early morning customers, but your focus was on one person alone.

Seonghwa was behind the counter, moving with practiced ease as he prepared drinks. The moment he noticed you, his expression shifted eyes lighting up slightly, a faint pink dusting his cheeks as he straightened his posture.

You smirked to yourself.

Good. He was expecting you now.

And that meant he was already where you needed him to be.

You approached the counter, and as if on cue, Seonghwa immediately abandoned whatever task he was tending to, his full attention now on you. His lips curled into a soft smile, eyes warm with familiarity.

"Let me guess, you want your tea?" he asked, his voice laced with gentle amusement.

You returned his smile, nodding. "You already know me so well," you teased lightly.

"Perfect, I'll make that soon," he hummed, turning to start your order. As he did, you reached into your bag, pulling out your card to pay, but the moment you tried to hand it to him, he gently pushed it back toward you.

"No, it's on me today," he said, his voice quieter now, a faint blush creeping onto his cheeks.

You raised a brow, smirking playfully. "Oh? Are you always this generous to your customers?"

Seonghwa chuckled nervously, shaking his head. "Just you."

You tilted your head, pretending to hesitate before trying once more to hand him your card, but he refused again, shaking his head more firmly.

"Come on, let me pay," you insisted, feigning persistence.

But he only grew more flustered, standing his ground. "Nope. Not happening."

The adorable display of his nervousness made you internally smirk. He was already falling, and he had no idea just how deep he would go.

You sat patiently, watching as Seonghwa prepared your tea. The café buzzed with quiet chatter, but your focus remained solely on him. A few minutes later, you noticed him approaching, carefully carrying your cup before setting it down in front of you.

What caught your attention, however, was that instead of walking away, he hesitated—then, gathering his courage, he pulled out the chair across from you and sat down.

Your lips curled slightly. He was getting comfortable with you. Good.

"So, do you have any plans this weekend?" he asked, his voice tinged with nervousness as he fidgeted slightly with his hands.

You leaned in ever so slightly, locking eyes with him. Your gaze was steady, intentional. You made sure he held it, made sure he felt the weight of your attention.

A soft smile played at your lips as you hummed, tilting your head just enough to appear thoughtful. "Not yet," you murmured. "Why? Are you thinking of inviting me somewhere?"

Seonghwa swallowed, shifting in his seat. His fingers drummed lightly against the table as he quickly looked down—only to find himself drawn back into your gaze a second later.

The way his cheeks flushed, the way his body tensed just slightly, told you everything you needed to know.

Seonghwa hesitated for a moment, gathering his courage before finally speaking.

"Kind of… I was wondering if you’d like to go out with me this Friday, if you're up for it," he said, offering you a hopeful smile.

You let a soft smile grace your lips, pretending to be flattered as you nodded. "I'd love to."

His face lit up at your response, relief and excitement mixing in his expression. "Sweet!" he grinned. "I need to get back to work, but I'll give you more details after my shift!"

Before you could respond, Seonghwa quickly leaned in, pressing a brief but warm kiss to your forehead. The gesture was innocent, sweet—completely unguarded.

Then, just as quickly as he had done it, he pulled away, his face turning a shade darker before he rushed back behind the counter, flustered but clearly thrilled.

You watched him go, your smirk returning the moment he was out of view.

After finalizing the details of your date with Seonghwa, you left the café with a satisfied smirk, already planning your next move. Each interaction with him had been carefully crafted, drawing him in little by little. Now, with the date set, you had to ensure everything played out perfectly.

The next day passed, and as the time arrived, you prepared yourself meticulously. Every detail mattered—your appearance, your demeanor, the way you would draw him deeper under your spell.

When the time was right, you summoned yourself back to Earth, seamlessly blending into your human form. The familiar scent of roasted coffee beans filled the air as you arrived outside the café, waiting just beyond the entrance.

Through the large windows, you spotted Seonghwa behind the counter, finishing up his shift. He moved with an air of anticipation, sneaking glances toward the door as if expecting you to be there.

You smirked, leaning casually against the wall as the evening breeze wrapped around you.

Tonight, he would be yours.

Seonghwa finally stepped out of the café, brushing a hand through his hair as he spotted you waiting outside. His face lit up instantly, his usual reserved demeanor melting into something softer.

“Sorry, I got a little caught up… My coworker promised to close the store so I could get out a little early,” he said with a small, almost sheepish smile.

You met his gaze, offering a warm smile in return. “No worries! We should get going before it starts snowing.”

Extending your hand toward him, you waited, watching the hesitation flicker across his face before he finally reached out, his fingers gently lacing with yours. His touch was warm against the crisp evening air, and you could feel the slight tremor in his grip—whether from nerves or excitement, you weren’t sure.

Either way, it didn’t matter.

“Where are we headed?” you asked playfully, tilting your head as he led the way.

Seonghwa squeezed your hand slightly, his smile growing. “You’ll see,” he murmured, the hint of mystery in his voice making things even more interesting.

As you both strolled through the city, Seonghwa eventually led you to a quiet, secluded spot in the park where he had set up a small picnic. Fake plastic candles flickered softly around a neatly spread-out blanket, food and drinks carefully arranged, and at the center of it all—a bouquet of flowers, clearly meant for you.

You blinked, taking in the scene. It was the kind of hopelessly romantic, sentimental gesture that humans adored, something drenched in innocence and sincerity.

Honestly, you thought it was pathetic. Human love—their silly, emotional attachments, their fragile hearts—it was all so laughably naive.

But still, you played along.

With a smile, you turned to Seonghwa, feigning surprise and delight. “Wow… you really did all this for me?” You reached out to touch the flowers gently, tilting your head in admiration.

Seonghwa chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah… I wanted to do something special. I wasn’t sure if you’d like it, but I figured it was worth a try.”

His eyes held a quiet hopefulness, searching for your approval.

You had to admit—his effort was endearing. For a moment, you almost found it amusing how much care he had put into this.

Still, he had no idea what he was truly inviting into his life.

Smirking to yourself, you took a seat on the blanket, patting the spot beside you. “Well then,” you hummed, “let’s see what you’ve got planned.”

Seonghwa beamed, sitting down beside you, completely unaware that this night would change his life forever.

"You are very beautiful," Seonghwa murmured, a soft blush dusting his cheeks as he gazed at you with admiration.

You smirked slightly, your eyes glinting with amusement as you gracefully accepted his compliment. "Thank you," you hummed, letting your voice carry a touch of sweet innocence.

Glancing around at the effort he had put into this night, you let out a thoughtful sigh. "I'm surprised… no one has ever done something so special like this for me before," you said, tilting your head just enough to make your words sound wistful, as if this moment truly meant something to you.

Seonghwa’s expression softened, his eyes locking onto yours with a quiet intensity. "Well, no one has understood how wonderful you are," he whispered, his voice barely above a breath.

Internally, you wanted to laugh at how cheesy he was, how easily humans gave in to their emotions, how effortless it was to make them believe they were the ones in control. But instead, you played the part flawlessly, letting your features melt into a look of admiration.

"Aww, Seonghwa…" you cooed softly, tilting your head before leaning against his shoulder, nestling into him just enough to make him feel like this moment was real.

Seonghwa tensed for just a second before relaxing into your touch, his body warm and comforting. You could hear his heartbeat quicken ever so slightly, a clear sign of his growing feelings.

As he reached for the drinks, handing you one, you smirked to yourself.

You both took small sips of your drinks, the cool liquid contrasting with the warmth of the moment. Placing your cup beside you, you leaned back slightly, tilting your head as you decided to keep the conversation going—just to keep him engaged, to make him feel like you were genuinely interested.

“So… have you ever been on a date with a girl before or is this your first one?” you asked, your voice laced with curiosity as you took another sip.

Seonghwa sighed softly, shifting his gaze toward the sky before looking back at you. “I have before, but… most girls I’ve dated always felt differently about me. Like I was more of a brother… or even a mother to them,” he admitted, a hint of disappointment laced in his voice.

You could hear the slight insecurity in his tone, the way he felt unappreciated, unnoticed in the way he wished to be. It was almost too easy.

A soft smile graced your lips as you reached out, gently caressing his arm with slow, reassuring strokes. “Well… I like you,” you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper, soft and enticing. “A lot.”

Seonghwa froze for a brief moment before his gaze dropped to you, his eyes holding something unspoken—hope, nervousness, longing.

You turned your head toward him, leaning in slightly, your lips parting just enough to tempt him closer. He hesitated for only a second before mirroring your movement, his breath brushing against your skin as your lips finally met in a soft, lingering kiss.

It was innocent—tentative, even—but you could feel the way he melted into it, his body reacting as if he had been waiting for this moment longer than he realized.

"I like you a lot too…" Seonghwa breathed out against your lips, his voice soft, almost shaky with emotion. Before you could respond, he leaned back in, capturing your lips once more, this time with a little more confidence.

His hands instinctively pulled you closer, his touch gentle yet eager, as if afraid you might slip away. You hummed into the kiss, letting yourself melt against him before slowly pulling back, just to see how he would react.

Seonghwa’s eyes widened slightly, his breath uneven as he searched your expression. “I-I’m sorry! Was that too much?” he stammered, his face flushed with nervousness.

You held back a smirk, shaking your head softly. You hadn’t stopped him because it was too much—you had stopped to see just how much he was beginning to crave you. And judging by the way his chest rose and fell, by the way his fingers twitched slightly as if resisting the urge to pull you back in, you knew you had him right where you wanted.

"I enjoyed that," you murmured, your voice smooth as silk. Slowly, you licked your lips, letting the action be deliberate, teasing, just enough to make his gaze flicker downward.

Seonghwa swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he tried to keep himself composed. His reaction was exactly what you wanted.

You tilted your head playfully. “Did you?” you teased, leaning just close enough to watch his breath hitch.

Seonghwa nodded softly. You knew he was getting hooked on you now.

As the night stretched on, the date slowly came to an end. Seonghwa was still flustered from your kisses, his touches hesitant yet lingering as if he didn’t want to part ways just yet.

Sensing the perfect opportunity, you subtly pushed the idea of staying over at his place. You tilted your head, giving him a soft, hopeful look. “I had a really nice time tonight… I wouldn’t mind spending a little more time with you,” you hinted, your voice smooth and inviting.

Seonghwa's eyes widened slightly before he quickly averted his gaze, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “I-I’d love that too, but… I just think it’d be better if I didn’t,” he said, his tone gentle yet firm. “I don’t want you walking alone at night, though—I can take you home if you’d like.”

You forced yourself to keep a neutral expression, though irritation flared inside you. He was too polite, too careful. It wasn’t resistance—it was his sense of responsibility, of decency, getting in the way.

How annoying.

You let out a small sigh, shaking your head. “Never mind,” you muttered, not wanting to drag it out any further. He clearly wasn’t going to give in tonight.

Seonghwa frowned, sensing your disappointment, but before he could say anything else, you turned on your heel and walked away, disappearing into the night.

You clenched your fists, your hunger gnawing at you.

No matter.

If he wouldn’t invite you in tonight, then you would just have to get to him another way.

After all, the real hunt didn’t begin until he was asleep.

That was your cue.

Summoning yourself into his room, you moved silently, your form materializing at the edge of his bed. The dim glow of the moon barely illuminated his peaceful expression, unaware of the danger lingering just inches away.

With predatory grace, you crawled onto the bed, carefully straddling his lap. Your movements were slow, deliberate, making sure not to wake him. His body radiated warmth beneath you, his presence tempting in its own way.

But you weren’t here just for his touch.

You were here to claim him.

Reaching out, you gently placed your hand over his forehead, feeling the pulse of his subconscious beneath your fingertips. Closing your eyes, you willed your energy into him, weaving your way into the depths of his mind, twisting his dreams to your design.

Seonghwa’s body tensed for a brief moment before his breathing changed, growing heavier, more erratic. His fingers twitched against the sheets as his subconscious responded, surrendering to the fantasy you were crafting for him.

You smirked.

Now, in this dreamworld, he would see nothing but you. Crave nothing but you.

And by the time he woke, his thoughts would be tainted—filled with twisted desires he wouldn’t understand, with longing he couldn’t resist.

As you delved deeper into Seonghwa’s dreams, you observed every fantasy playing out in his subconscious. His desires, his weaknesses, his hidden cravings—they were all laid bare before you, and it gave you the perfect idea of how to proceed.

A wicked smirk curled on your lips as you slowly withdrew from his mind, allowing the dream to linger just long enough to keep him disoriented when he woke.

Before rousing him, you moved carefully, your fingers ghosting over his body as you pulled his shirt off, revealing the warmth of his bare skin beneath. He barely stirred, still trapped in the haze of his dream.

Next, you took his wrists, guiding them above his head and securing them to the headboard with precision. The sight of him—vulnerable, unaware, completely under your control—only fueled your hunger.

Leaning in, you let your breath fan over his ear as you whispered, “Wake up, Seonghwa…”

His breathing hitched, his body tensing as his eyelids fluttered open. Confusion flickered in his gaze at first, his mind still clouded by the remnants of his dream. But the moment he registered the sensation of his bound wrists and the warmth of your body hovering over him, his eyes widened.

You smirked, watching his expression shift between shock, realization, and something else—something darker.

“Good morning,” you purred, tilting your head. “Did you sleep well?”

You shifted above him, your movements slow and deliberate as you straddled his lap, feeling the warmth radiating from his skin. Seonghwa's breath hitched, his chest rising and falling in heavy, uneven breaths as the weight of the moment settled over him.

You pulled his pants off from under you and threw them somewhere on the floor.

“Y/N?” he breathed out, his voice laced with confusion, anticipation, and something deeper—something he didn’t quite understand yet.

A wicked smirk curled at your lips as you reached forward, gently grabbing his face, your claws tracing along his jawline with an intoxicating mix of danger and allure. His pulse quickened beneath your touch, his body tensing under you.

“Yes, darling?” you hummed, your voice silky smooth, dripping with amusement as you gazed into his dazed eyes.

His pupils were blown, his mind still clouded from the dream you had woven into his subconscious. He was unsure if this was reality or if he was still lost in the fantasy you had crafted for him.

And that was exactly what you wanted.

You let your fingers trail down his skin, your touch feather-light yet commanding, making him shiver beneath you. “You were dreaming of me, weren’t you?” you whispered, your voice laced with knowing mischief.

Seonghwa swallowed hard, unable to find his voice, his body betraying him as he lay beneath you—breathless, vulnerable, and completely under your spell.

You softly kissed his lips but his ended up attacking you, hungrily and needy. You pulled away smirking.

"You are so perfect..." You tease. You finally placed your other hand over his shaft and started stroking it. He slipped out a moan and tried to pull away from his restraint but couldn't.

You rub your thumb over his slit and finally let go as you now hover over him and slowly go down feeling his cock slip easily inside you.

"Fuck..." you curse as you wrap your arms around his neck. He groans as he tries bucking his hips up into you to start thrusting.

"Does this feel good?" You hum, claws digging into his neck as you force him to look up at you as you start moving on top of Seonghwa.

Seonghwa’s lips remained parted, his breaths coming in slow, heavy waves as he gazed up at you, eyes filled with something between confusion and yearning. His body was tense beneath you, his mind still trapped in the haze of his dream, unsure of what was real and what was fantasy.

You leaned in closer, your face mere inches from his, letting your breath ghost over his lips. His chest rose sharply, his heartbeat pounding against his ribs as you whispered, your voice as soft as silk, laced with dangerous allure.

“Do you love me?”

The question hung in the air, thick with unspoken tension. You watched as his throat bobbed, his fingers twitching slightly against the restraints.

Seonghwa swallowed hard, his lips quivering as if struggling to form words. His breath hitched, and for a brief moment, he looked utterly helpless beneath you—lost, vulnerable, and completely under your control.

His gaze flickered between your eyes and your lips, his body betraying his thoughts.

“I…” he exhaled shakily, his voice barely above a whisper, as if he himself didn’t know the answer.

But you did.

And you were going to make sure he gave you exactly what you wanted.

You felt Seonghwa started thrusting upwards, a bit sloppy and weak. You continued to moan making sure he knew you were satisfied with him.

You noticed the sheen of sweat forming on Seonghwa’s skin, his breathing uneven, his body reacting instinctively to your presence. You could feel it too—the warmth, the dampness clinging to both of you, a sensation you normally despised. But before you could even think to complain, Seonghwa's voice broke through the tension.

"You… smell amazing," he murmured breathlessly, his gaze hazy as he looked up at you. His words were soft, almost dazed, as if he were completely overwhelmed by the intoxicating presence of you above him.

A smirk tugged at your lips. You knew exactly why.

Your natural scent, laced with the essence of your kind, was meant to allure, to seduce, to make men crave you without even realizing why. It seeped into their senses, driving them into a blissful fog of desire and weakness.

You leaned in just a little closer, letting your lips ghost over his ear. "Is that so?" you whispered, amusement lacing your tone.

Seonghwa swallowed thickly, his fingers twitching against his restraints, as if he wanted to reach out and pull you even closer.

You chuckled, tilting your head as you traced a finger down his chest. "How sweet of you to notice," you purred, enjoying the way he shivered beneath your touch.

Oh, he was falling faster than you expected. And that made things all the more thrilling.

You finally started moving faster and harder against him becoming a moaning mess as you tried to speed this up to get him to lose himself in you.

--------------------------

Seonghwa groans, throwing his head back and soon he is finally driven over the edge and comes inside you.

With slow, deliberate movements, you finally untied Seonghwa’s wrists, watching as his arms fell limply to his sides. His body, completely spent, sank deeper into the bed, exhaustion overtaking him almost instantly.

You sat back, admiring the sight—his flushed skin, his ragged breathing, the way his chest rose and fell in heavy gasps. He was utterly drained, his strength stripped away, leaving him weak beneath you.

A smirk curled at your lips as you tilted your head, feigning innocence. "Are you tired?" you breathed out, amusement lacing your tone.

Seonghwa barely had the energy to respond. His eyes fluttered open, glassy and unfocused as he looked up at you. His chest heaved, desperate to catch his breath, and after a long moment, he gave you a small, dazed nod.

You chuckled softly, running a finger along his jawline, tracing the warmth of his skin. “Poor thing,” you cooed, feigning sympathy. “You really gave me everything, didn’t you?”

Seonghwa swallowed, his lips parting as if he wanted to say something, but no words came out. He was completely under your spell, too weak to question anything.

And you? You were feeling stronger than ever.

You smirked as you slowly got up from the bed, your body still humming with the energy you had drained from Seonghwa. He lay there, barely able to keep his eyes open, his body completely spent.

Leaning down, you placed a soft, lingering kiss against his lips—just enough to tease, to leave him wanting more, even in his unconscious state. Pulling back, you admired your handiwork, the way he lay helplessly beneath you, fully under your influence.

"Well, I must go," you whispered, tilting your head as you smoothed your hair and adjusted your clothes. "I enjoyed our time together… truly."

Seonghwa blinked sluggishly, trying to fight the sleep overtaking him, but it was no use. The exhaustion weighed him down, his body betraying him as his eyes finally fluttered shut.

Watching him pass out entirely, a wicked smirk tugged at your lips. Another successful conquest.

Without another word, you stepped back into the shadows, letting them consume you. The room faded around you, and in the blink of an eye, you were gone—back where you belonged.

Hell welcomed you once more, its familiar warmth wrapping around you. As you stepped forward, the satisfaction of your victory settled deep within you.

Two down.

Six more to go.

•

E/N: I am sorry, I am still suffering the Flu, so I am now behind on editing stories. N already has Yunho and Yeosang's finished and just needs edited, but I have been suffering the Flu. :'(

[olderthannetfic]

As one of your younger followers I’m surprised that blogs are. . . New? Newer than I thought at least. I guess I always misunderstood what Web 1.0 really was (I grew up web Web 2.0) and I always thought that, outside of informational topics, a big feature of Web 1.0 would be people talking about their lives and interests — tho granted with little to no communication/replies from others. Huh, TIL.

--

Yeah, things really changed a lot and perhaps even more quickly than now at some points in the internet's development.

At the start of the 90s, it was all Usenet groups and service providers with their own forums you could only see if you had that service.

Free e-mail addresses became a thing in the mid 90s. Prior to that, it was all paid stuff like AOL, and prior to that, it was your university or IT job e-mail with your actual name in it. There were very few services, paid or otherwise, that provided you with an e-mail and access to the internet generally: it was all about selling access to a given company's proprietary hangout. There were some. My e-mail is from one. But that wasn't the norm.

(And, of course, prior to like 1995, "the internet" did not by default mean the web. Now, everything is the web or a web interface for your e-mail or something.)

When eGroups and Onelist and then Yahoo Groups arrived, it really changed things for fandom because you could run your own mailing list without knowing technical things. Some of the action drained away from Usenet to mailing lists.

Fandom dipped its toes into blogging sites immediately, but the giant wave of people getting Livejournals wasn't until 2003. I had one in 2002 through a friend, and it really wasn't this big fandom thing at the time. Some time around 2002/early '03, fans started trying to round up invite codes and get their favorite writers on there, and then LJ dropped the need to pay or have a code, and the flood away from mailing lists began.

(I guess web-based forums go in here somewhere, but I wasn't as active on them.)

In some ways, Discord is more like fandom on the early internet than either the LJ era or Tumblr eras were/are.

Most of the 90s stuff was more topic-specific. People socialized because people are people and frequently off-topic, but you were hanging out in The Place For Anime Fanfic or something, not so-and-so's personal diary with a comments section.

[ladyloveandjustice]

My Top 12 Favorite Anime of 2023 (and more)!

This was a great year for anime, so here's a long list of my top 12 (including some bonus great anime). If you get tired of clicking the review links, check out my anime overview collection for all of them here.  You can also check out my list of favorite manga here!

Some of these are ongoing, so consider those only a review of the first cour-- no official endorsement on the rest because it hasn't aired yet!

Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch From Mercury (Season 2)

When I listed G-Witch in last year's top anime list, I prayed the show wouldn't betray me. Fortunately, it didn't! Though the final half of the show was a bit rushed, it remained must-see, compelling sci-fi full of exciting twists and turns. And I adore the well developed romance between the robot-piloting protagonist and precious girl, Suletta, and her fierce fiancé, Miorine.  Whether you’re here for starcrossed queer lovers, robots wrecking each other, tense battles between opposing political factions, or morally-horrifying moms on a revenge spree, you’re in for a treat.

See my full review here.

Yuri is my Job!

Hime is roped into working at a cafe where the waitresses playact as students of the fictional all girl’s school from a beloved novel series. However, Hime finds her co-worker, Mitsuki, has an inexplicable grudge against her. Thus begins a tangled web of romance and wounded feelings among the girls in the cafe! Yuri is My Job seems like a fun comedy boasting a cast full of quirky lesbians, but then reveals itself to be a complicated and fascinating examination of performance- as it intersects with queerness, girlhood,  and the desire to be “likeable” and “cute". It's top-tier lesbian drama full of fraught relationships and it's absolutely worth a watch.

See my full review here.

The Apothecary Diaries (still ongoing, review is for the first cour)

Though it's still going, I have to sing the praises of this dazzling anime about a saavy apothecary who uses her medical expertise to solve the many murders and betrayals in the Emperor's palace. MaoMao is a fantastic lead, a poison-obsessed gremlin who's whip-smart, deadpan, and fun to follow. The Apothecary Diaries has intrigue, well-developed characters, and an impeccable atmosphere. It tells a great range of stories, from romantic triumph, to bittersweet tales of recovering from grief, to pure tragedies. I'm totally hooked.

See my full review here.

The Magical Revolution of the Reincarnated Princess and the Genius Young Lady

When Euphie is dumped by her fiance at a ball, the oddball princess Anis rescues her.  Euphie becomes Anis' assistant in her quest to develop magical tools. The girls also start to develop feelings for each other, while discovering a conspiracy among the nobility. I'm always desperately in need of cool lesbians having action-packed fantasy adventures, and Magirevo delivers. The characters grow in entertaining ways, we get to see them fight dragons in killer action scenes, and the romantic development is completely satisfying. It's a simple story at its core, but the lovable characters, joyous queerness and jubilant execution make it a great watch.

See my full review here.

Birdie Wing: Golf Girls' Story (Season 2)

In the second season of the anime about girls homoerotically golfing while dealing with the mafia and ludicrous family drama, Birdie Wing remains a bombastically absurd sports anime that is fun all the way through. Please come watch these girls get ridiculous sports  injuries, scream their super golf attacks, experience extremely extra plot twists--and be super gay with each other, of course. The finale didn't go quite as hard as I wanted (and the romance is more subtexual than I wanted), but you need to allow yourself to experience the madness of Birdie Wing.

See full review here.

Skip and Loafer

An endearingly dorky, earnest, and driven girl moves from her small town to Tokyo. While she struggles to adjust, she befriends a nice popular boy who's got some baggage. Skip and Loafer is a show that’s like a warm hug. It's sweet, entertaining and funny. It handles adolescent struggles with tender nuance. There's a emphasis on kindness, connection, and looking past stereotypes and misconceptions. It also includes a trans character who's treated with respect (and is a great character in general!) Let this show touch your heart.

See my full review here.

Undead Murder Farce

An immortal woman has had most of her body stolen by a mysterious man. Reduced to a head carried around by her maid, she teams up with a half-demon man to track the thief down while solving supernatural mysteries all across Victorian England.

This a fun, campy mystery series starring three asshole weirdo protagonists,  it’s bursting with supernatural creatures and literary references. We've got Sherlock Holmes, The Phantom of the Opera, Carmilla and more...along with a vampire murders and werewolf drama galore. UDM is a wonderful romp with stylish, slick direction... and it’s unexpectedly really gay.  I’m aching to see more of these scrappy misfits and their adventures.

See my full review here.

Migi & Dali

A story of twins who are pretending to be one kid in order to fool their foster parents and find out who killed their mother. It starts out as an utterly absurd comedy becomes a impressive and genuinely tense murder mystery that is incredibly moving at times, all while keeping up it’s signature brand of goofiness. There’s genuine commentary on abuse, the damage you can do to children by forcing perfection on them, the struggle of being a foster kid, grief and recovery and more. There's also some great character development. It's a weird one, but it's absolutely worth sticking with.

See full review here.

Pluto

Somebody is killing the most advanced robots in the  world and murdering humans alongside them. A robot detective is trying to track this killer down, but he might be compromised as well. Pluto is a tense, tense, tightly plotted robot murder mystery that keeps you on the edge of your seat. Through robots, it explores the idea of being a tool in a corrupt system, and tackles subjects like war, imperialism, and the nature of hatred. It's a masterful psychological thriller with stunning animation and a rich story.

See my full review here.

Scott Pilgrim Takes Off

This anime approaches the story of Scott Pilgrim and Ramona's seven evil exes from a brands new angle, and the results are great. We get a exploration of relationships and regrets, the messiness of communication and connection, the trials of becoming an adult, all with the signature goofy video game antics. Characters neglected in previous iterations finally get their due, new facets of the story are explored, queer relationships are delved into more, girls kiss...and it's all accompanied by phenomenal animation and a killer soundtrack.

See my full review here

Soaring Sky! Precure

Sora lives in a world called Skyland and wants to be a great hero. When rescuing the kidnapped baby princess, she falls through a portal to earth. There she meets her fellow magical warriors, and as Precure they protect the princess from the villains!

This vibrant, warm-hearted adventure got me back on the Precure train! This series boasts a lot exciting firsts for the franchise--the first official male cure, the first main cure that's eighteen years old- but above all, it has a lively team of characters with who have an entertaining dynamic and enjoyable individual journeys. It's often very funny, the baby has a surprisingly good character arc, and it's bursting with magical girl (and boy) goodness! It's also not afraid to give you an emotional gutpunch when you've been lured into a false sense of security by all the fun times. If you're new to Precure, this is a great jumping on point, and if you've watched it before, this is a series you won't want to miss.

I'm in Love with the Villainess

Rae is reincarnated as the heroine of her favorite dating sim. But she has no interest in romancing any of the boys- she’s head over heels for Claire Francois, the snooty villainess.

Villainess may not be as polished--storywise or animation-wise-- as these other entries. It's a messy series, it has plenty of problems...but it's also very fun, and it touched my queer little heart like no other. Queer people get to indulge in our imperfect faves too, and the silly shenanigans, blatant lesbian wish fulfillment, honest advocacy for queer people, and the joy and earnestness of the series works for me!

See my full review here.

Some Other Great Anime:

Frieren: Beyond Journey's End (still ongoing, review is for the first cour)

Frieren is a long-lived elf who was once part of an adventuring party that saved the world from the Demon Lord. But now her friends are passing away and the world is moving on. She decides to retrace her old party's journey so she can understand what she's feeling.

Frieren is both an interesting examination of what happens after the hero saves the world, as well as a meditation on mortality, grief,  and the endless march of time. It takes you on a quiet, beautiful and sometimes touching journey though a pastoral fantasy world. There's some breath-taking animation and excellent atmosphere to enjoy.

See my review here.

Spy x Family (Season 3)

Spy x Family is pretty much staying the course from when we last checked in,  though this season gives a lot more attention to Yor, and I love the cruise ship arc and all the ridiculous fights she gets into a lot! That arc contains some of my favorite gags of the series too (like Loid’s  attempts to be a cool dad). Otherwise, Spyfam has settled into a series that intends to be around for the long haul, so don’t expect too much forward plot momentum. And Yuri (the man, not the genre) unfortunately still exists. Overall it was good season and remains a fun  adaptation. Yor, please step on me.

[deadflowerssociety]

Clever angel: beauty of knowledge🦢

🍓We live in the world, where pretty face is one of the most influential thing when trying to impress others. Although when it comes to building deeper relationships the one thing that truly matters is knowledge.

Sometimes we might catch ourselves feeling ignorant or insecure about our surroundings when others try to know us better🪷 That’s why I think everybody should increase theirs horizons!

“Not to know is bad, not to wish to know is worse.”🪼

🍓How to do it tho? In this post I will share with you some useful tips to actually increase your potential and to become the smartest person in the room🪷

1.Expand Your Reading Horizons🪷

Create a reading challenge list that includes:

• A biography of someone you admire

• A book about a country or culture you're curious about

• A piece of classic literature

• A modern science or technology book

• A self-improvement or psychology book

2.Leverage Online Learning🪼

Each month, pick a new skill or topic you want to explore. For instance:

• Sign up for a beginner's course in a language you've always wanted to learn, like Spanish or Japanese.

• Explore a creative writing workshop to enhance your expressive abilities.

• Dive into a web development course to understand the basics of coding.

3. Prioritize Physical Wellness🪷

Incorporate brain-boosting foods into your diet, such as:

• Snacking on walnuts or blueberries during your study or reading time.

• Adding fatty fish like salmon to your meals twice a week.

• Drinking matcha instead of coffee for a gentler caffeine boost and antioxidant benefits.

4. Make Journaling a Habit🪼

Besides daily reflections, include:

• Weekly goals and achievements

• Interesting facts or knowledge you learned that week

• Quotes from books or articles that inspired you

• Personal insights or ideas sparked by your new learnings

5. Embrace Mindfulness Practices🪷

To integrate mindfulness into your routine, try:

• Kicking off your mornings with a brief, 10-minute meditation centered on breathing, to refresh your mind and sharpen focus.

• Embarking on brief, mindful strolls, fully absorbing the sensations and sights around you, to rejuvenate your mind and spark creativity.

🪷Nothing feels as good as knowledge. It helps you show off your brightness and let you see what others can’t see. You can choose whatever topic you are interested in and uncover more secrets of humanity

I would really appreciate if you reblog and like this post🪷 Thank you🪼 stay safe

[hyperesthesias]

Can you actually write something smutty for Viktor? Or just a guide on how to? I really want to write some Viktor smut, but I'm worried I won't do his disability justice as I'm able bodied and a dumbass

Of my twelve years on this webbed site, this has got to be the best ask I have ever received lmao

I would be happy to help, friend. I'll answer this in two parts.

Yes, I am planning on writing Viktor smut for Viktor x Anya. I had a lot happen in the year since I made the post you're referencing, but I've finally been able to get back into fandom stuff. I wanted to lay some backstory with them first though, as I am apparently a PWP kind of person lmao. It's coming soon! (No pun intended).

You've taken the first great step in recognizing that your experience and knowledge may not be congruent with potential portrayal, and therefore asking for advice. I don't mean to sound patronizing at all. I am an author and I have seen many professional authors that don't do this, so you're already ahead of the game! I wouldn't consider that dumbassery in any way, shape, or form.

I'll put the rest under a cut due to the nature of this post.

*Disclaimer to this is, of course, I don't speak for every disabled person, this list isn't extensive, and these are my opinions.

I, personally, operate under the assumption that Viktor has Post Polio Syndrome. Looking at photographs (x, x, x) it's pretty clear the animators used PPS as a framework for Viktor's movements and posture, as well as his mobility and assistive devices. People with PPS often develop need for braces, canes or crutches, and treatment for scoliosis -- all of which Viktor has. You are more than welcome to headcanon something different, as I don't believe the writers or animators have ever confirmed or denied PPS, but based on my own experience and research, I would bet money on it.

That being said -- regardless of PPS, or otherwise -- the first thing to consider when writing smut for any disabled character is fatigue. It may not be the obvious thing, as mobility devices often are the first thing to catch an observer's eye. But there is so much that goes on beneath mobility devices. Fatigue is a big one.

Consider the worst flu you've ever had -- all the time, every day, even in your sleep. It can be maddening, like you can't get any relief -- even if you take pain reliever or use other analgesics. Most people with a severe flu aren't exactly in the mood to be frisky, especially spontaneously. Many physically disabled people rely on preplanning. Having a date night where they can plan for extra pain reliever, or where they can schedule the rest of their day or week to conserve energy for a special night. The psychological energy that people need to conserve alone can take a lot of effort. Being disabled is also mentally exhausting, especially when you have a partner and their needs to consider. Giving a disabled person time to prepare for sex (or other tasks) is essential.

Related to that, is the fact the energy levels aren't always consistent. A disabled person and their lover could be going at it like rabbits for a while and then suddenly the disabled partner may need to stop because their "battery" (their physical energy levels) has run out. They may need a break for a few minutes, or they may just need to end the sexual encounter altogether.

The worst thing you (or your character) could do is take this personally. It has nothing to do with their partner, it's their body that is (frustratingly [on many levels]) not cooperating.

Something to toy with (no pun intended) when writing characters with energy level deficits is vibrators. Twice the work with half the effort. Don't be afraid to write smut with toys and vibrators -- it doesn't even have to be kinky. Toys and vibrators are normal and vanilla, all things considered. The only reason they haven't been normalized is because of patriarchal standards as to what sex is and is supposed to be.

The second thing to consider is physical limitations of positions and potential discomfort. I've seen several fanfic writers describe situations and positions that Viktor simply would never be able to do (e.g. lifting his partner onto a table or desk).

Viktor doesn't have a lot of strength. That's not to say he can't be rough or that all smut has to be vanilla. But realistically, it's absurd to think that he can lift someone else or manhandle them with any force, or thrust at the speed of light (💀). He also doesn't have any balance whatsoever post Act I. During Act I, he's able to hobble somewhat without his cane, as long as he has something to hold onto, as seen in episode three. But in Acts II and III, his balance issues combined with scoliosis would make any positions where he has to stand much more difficult.

Therefore, if you're wanting to write a scene somewhere outside of a bedroom (e.g. the lab, his office, etc.), he'd need something to balance himself. Seated sex is a great concept to play with -- very disability friendly and offers many options for all sorts of scenes. Desk/table sex is also realistic, as long as your character lifts themself onto the desk or table, and he's able to lean on it.

Scenes that take place in the bedroom also have their own limitations. He has zero use of his right leg, which means he'd need more time to get in and out of different positions. Missionary would take a toll on his back, I'd imagine, from being hunched over -- not that he couldn't do it at all, but that was more of a sidenote. Having your character straddle him, while his back was supported, is probably the most comfortable position I can imagine. Or spooning. Or maybe doggy, though I think his back and hips might get tired. But I'm just spit balling at this point. Utilizing objects from the setting is important -- pillows, having your character bent over the back of a couch, etc. This is where creativity comes in -- it's just important to keep in mind where his limitations are located on his body: his back and his leg/hip.

There are also adaptive devices for sex and disabilities.

One final thing I want to say is: don't overcorrect. This is common. It's one thing to keep a character's disability in mind, but it's another to make a disability the entire character. Just because Viktor is disabled doesn't mean he can't have the filthiest, most disgusting, raw, life changing, I-should-visit-a-confessional type of sex. However you headcanon him to be in bed is exactly how he can be. If you see him as a cruel Dom, he absolutely can slap the shit out of whoever has the pleasure of being beneath him, while he makes them beg for his mercy -- with his back and leg supported. If you see him as a bratty sub, he can be that, too -- while he lies there with a back pillow to relieve pressure off his spine. If he's the plainest, blander-than-vanilla type of lover, that's exactly what he is -- while he takes a few extra minutes to move from one position to the next. If he's any combination of those things, more power to you.

The point of writing a scene, is the point you're trying to make. Meaning: a lot of writers worry about conveying ideas and settings perfectly and with detail, while losing sight of the main point of their story. Rarely will you ever have to add paragraphs to a piece of writing in order to convey something, especially if it's not the main point. Often, it only takes one or two sentences. Keep the main point of the scene in mind. If you're writing a fic where Viktor and your character are secretly getting it on in the lab, then the point and the idea of that scene is the forbidden sex they are having. Not necessarily his limitations. You can easily acknowledge Viktor's disability by saying something like: 'Viktor sat on a chair at the far end of the lab, away from the door's line of sight. He leaned his back against the seat, allowing his spine to settle, before he coaxed his lover onto his lap. His lover straddled his legs, reaching to kiss his neck, while his hand trailed up their thighs...' You've successfully conveyed the limitations he has in two sentences, while maintaining the focus of your scene, and without reducing Viktor to a caricature of his disability. Less is more throughout your fic.

As a side note, which is completely my headcanon -- and something I've vaguely alluded to in my Viktor x Anya fics -- is that Viktor also has erectile dysfunction as a result of the PPS. Polio is a neurological virus, meaning is attacks the nerve cells, the main cause of the atrophy in PPS. It isn't common, but it's not uncommon for males with PPS to struggle with ED. As such, in my own personal stories, I have mentioned that Viktor takes medication to help with it. Sildenafil (the generic for Viagra) is a medication that specifically targets nerves.

That's my own person interpretation, though, and has no bearing on what we seen in Arcane lol.

To close this off for now, I want to reassure you that your efforts count and they matter. No one will write any depiction of disability 'perfectly'. Disability is unique to every person, and one person's spinal disability will look different to another's. Even people with the exact same diagnosis and prognosis will differ in how they experience it. You're not a dumbass. You're very intelligent to recognize the need for external resources. Enjoy yourself, enjoy the work you write, and keep asking questions.

If and when you decide to write your Viktor smut piece, I would love to read it. And likewise, if you'd like to read what I write I'd be happy to send it to you! If you're comfortable coming off anon, you can message me privately and we can talk more!

[miyamiwu]

Essential Elements of an Unlimited/Infinite Flow Story

As someone attempting to write my own Unli Flow, I thought I’d take note of the different elements so I can have a guide I can always refer back to.

I’ve explained what Unli Flow means many times before, but in case you missed it: Unlimited/Infinite Flow is a genre in Chinese web novels that feature characters entering multiple “instances” where they have to complete a challenge and/or solve a mystery. Failure in doing so would lead to consequences, most often death.

There’s also this definition by AshuraYami from the NovelUpdates Forum:

Unlimited Flow/Infinite Flow is a genre originating from the CN novel Terror Infinity. The genre mainly revolves on world hopping involving fictional works (anime, comics, movies, games and novels) and/or original worlds created by the author. Infinite Flow, as it’s ‘infinite’ namesake suggests, can accommodate all other genres, be it fantasy, sci-fi, horror, romance, etc. Representative works are Terror Infinity (origin of genre), Reincarnation Paradise (most chapters and word count), The Ultimate Evolution (promoter of data flow, an infinite flow derivative that is more game-like litRPG) and Thriller Paradise (most famous horror infinite flow).

With the definition out of the way, let’s goooo

[This post will also serve as a rec list of sorts, since I’ll be giving examples of each element from different danmei novels.]

----------

1. The Authority

The entity/system in charge of the Unlimited Flow system as a whole. Most stories just chalk it up to the Unli Flow being some kind of otherworldly being/extremely advanced AI that just likes to mess with people.

Examples of The Authority

(based on what I remember, at least… Also, beware of spoilers)

The Earth is Online: The Universe

Mist: I forgot what it’s called, but that high tech system in charge of all the Time Traveling stuff...

High Energy QR Code: That black and white cube thing

Surprise! The Supposed Talent Show was Actually—?!: … The TV station...

From left to right: Tang Mo from The Earth is Online and Wu Jin and Wei Shi from Surprise! The Supposed Talent Show was Actually—?!

[Spoilers End]

From having read numerous Unli Flow stories, I conclude that crucial to a great, not just good, Unli Flow story is a well-defined Authority. The explanation behind the Authority’s existence and motives is the foundation to the entire story.

You can have a very fancy building (cool instances, well-developed characters, an exciting enemies to lovers couple, etc.), but if the foundation is flimsy, the building’s value would plummet in your eyes. You can still appreciate the building, of course, but you will never be content with it.

Examples of some novels that are good in almost everything else except The Authority (in my opinion): [spoilery]

Supernatural Movie Actor App: It was too profound with not enough groundwork laid for it, resulting in The Authority feeling detached from the main story.

I Upended Yet Another Campus Urban Legend: The Authority was not exactly bad; it was just inadequate. The justification of the Unli Flow existing became unconvincing because of this.

Escape the Infinite Chamber: THE AUTHORITY IS SO FUCKING RIDICULOUS THAT IT’S ABYSMAL. And the entire thing was explained in just one scene and from one extra??? SO MUCH PAIN AND SUFFERING AND THAT’S THE ONLY EXPLANATION WE GET??? HORRENDOUS!

[Spoilers End]

From left to right: Book covers of I Upended Yet Another Campus Urban Legend and Supernatural Movie Actor App

2. Instances

Also known as “copy.” The other world/dimension where players have to face the different challenges.

The Authority may be the foundation, but the Instances are the defining aspect of the Unlimited Flow.

A lot of novels, however, are quite perfunctory when it comes to instances, just using it to further the main couple or as a mere stepping stone to the overarching plot. Or, if they’re not being perfunctory, then the Instances are just plain boring.

The first instance, especially, tend to be the most boring. Authors often use this to dump all the information about how their unli flow works. This usually gets better by the time the 2nd or 3rd instance comes around....

Upon successful completion of an Instance, players will then be rewarded with either points, special abilities, magic items, etc.

Examples of novels with GREAT instances (based on logic, thrill, horror, etc. Again, all in my own opinion):

I Became a God in a Horror Game: The horror is present all throughout. I can still remember the fear I felt while reading about the statues in the first Instance. Each instance/arc also emotionally impacts you, an effect that most Unli Flow writers don’t really aim for or just generally tend to fail at. (This is also my favorite unli flow novel at the moment~)

The Earth is Online: (same author as Fourth Perspective, which I’ve posted a lot about before) What I love about Mo Chen Huan, the author, is how they write intelligent MC’s but without making them seem too OP. And this is because she actually shows us the MC’s thought process, inviting us to think along with them and figure out how to solve the challenge, and not just make her characters say “aha!” This is what makes the Instances in TEIO great and memorable.

High Energy QR Code: The story could make use of more showing than telling, but I actually love the Instances in this novel. You know how good stories are often described as a well-made tapestry in that every little thread contributes to the big beautiful picture? That’s how each Instance reads in this novel. (Absolutely love the Instance about the town where everybody lies.)

Fu Wendou, the male lead of The Earth is Online

3. NPCs

A gaming term which stands for “Non-Player Character.” Refers to characters who live within Instances and act in such ways that further the plot or challenge presented by the Instance. They may go against players or assist them. May or may not have a will of their own.

Examples of NPCs:

Xu Beijin, the protagonist of Being an Extra Actor in an Escape Game

Lu Chu, the protagonist of Insider.

The iconic Mosaic from The Earth is Online

The male leads from Escape the Infinite Chamber, I Became a God in a Horror Game, Killing God with Junk Cards, etc. (Most danmei ML are special!NPCs 😩)

From left to right: Book covers of Being an Extra Actor in an Escape Game and Killing God with Junk Cards

4. Player Hall

A space outside of instances where different players can gather and exchange information. Most of the time, this is in a space still separate from the real world. Players are often prohibited from using their powers in this space.

In some novels, Players have no choice but to live here, completely cutting them off from the real world. In this case, accommodation quality will depend on the Player’s level or points.

5. Personal System

The Personal System issues challenges to the player and keeps track of their current attributes, physical and mental states, etc.. It also calculates rewards and punishments for the player. First and foremost in service to The Authority. (If they aren’t, then they’re most likely the Love Interest in disguise. If not, the Player had somehow swayed it to their side).

6. System Store

The points earned from the different Instances serve as the Players’ currency, and they can use it to buy things from the System Store. The Store may sell weapons, medicine, magical items, or even special abilities. Basically, any item that can help the Player during Instances. Of course, it may also sell non-magical items, like food and everyday items, at a much lower price than special items.

7. Player’s Goal/Wish

In some novels, the Goal is simply to clear all the Instances and leave the Unli Flow for good. But in others, the Unli Flow allows Players to exchange their points for a Wish. The more difficult the Wish, the more points are needed, and the more Instances are needed to be cleared.

Examples of a Goal/Wish:

Supernatural Movie Actor App: Xie Chi wants to give his second personality a body of his own.

I Became a God in a Horror Game: If I’m remembering it correctly… Bai Liu just wants to have lots of money.

I Upended Yet Another Campus Urban Legend: Lin Yi wants to learn the truth about his parents.

Thriller Tour Group: Wei Xun wants to find the truth about his family’s disappearance… and his Wish is to uhh… feel pain?

After the Little Crybaby Enters the Nightmare Cycle: Chi Nan’s Wish is to regain his vision, stop crying and get his memories back.

Death Spiral: To uhh… figure out what the voice in the Elevator is trying to tell them? To regain their memories? [The actual Wish is a big spoiler, so I won’t mention it here.]

From left to right: Book covers of After the Little Crybaby Enters the Nightmare Cycle, Thriller Tour Group, and Death Spiral

Aaaand there you have it! I was hoping to list 10 elements, but I can only think up to 7 😔

Although I said this post is a rec list of sorts, the quality of the novels I mentioned actually varies. I’m just listing whatever novel would be good as an example (and also what I can remember and have more or less completed, since many of the Unli Flow novels I’m reading are currently on-hold).

[auroramosaic]

my experience with testosterone the past 3 years!!

hi, I'm moze. I'm transmasc-transneutral and nonbinary, and I'm plural. I've been on T for 3 years. And honestly, I haven't gotten much out of it.

To start off, I'm disabled, and have a web of comorbid conditions. One of them is PCOS, which affects the way I process sex hormones and insulin. I also consequently had the Mirena hormonal IUD in for a few years before starting T and kept it in the whole time, and am still on it today. The IUD removed my period entirely, blood and cramps and nausea and mood swings and all. So I was not getting rid of that IUD.

I went into the planned parenthood intake and asked about the PCOS, and they told me that 1. Going on T while you have PCOS is very common, and 2. They haven't heard any complaints from their patients with it. When I asked about the IUD affecting the HRT, I heard different things from different doctors. One doctor said that its effects are entirely localized to the uterus, another would say it affects your whole body for a year and then becomes localized to the uterus, etc. But despite my reservations I assumed they knew more than me and trusted what they said. A mistake I kept making!!

I quickly learned that even at planned parenthood, doctors don't know hardly anything about HRT other than what their patients tell them. I would go into an appointment and they would ask me what I could teach them, instead of giving me resources or teaching me about HRT (I understand a lot of trans patients do a ton of research, and trust me I did too, and know more than doctors sometimes just from hearing the community's anecdotal info. But I was trying to fucking learn from someone who went to medical school lol, someone I hoped could teach me more).

They do give you an informed consent document where I live, and on it lists the possible outcomes and possible risks. This listed everything from growing facial hair to increased risk of high blood pressure or diabetes. Things that testosterone affects.

But they didn't talk to me much about it, and assumed I had done massive amounts of research already (which I did do, but not every patient should have to do in order to get info about HRT).

(double parenthetic: I'm very glad and very privileged to be in a place where it was very easy for me to start HRT. There wasn't a ton of rigamarole, they trusted that I knew what I wanted and I did. I don't think that process should change at all - I just think more clinical research on HRT needs to be done so doctors have more information they trust to share with patients.)

Anyway. I took an introductory dosage of the gel for a few months with no effects, and increased it a few more times with basically no effects besides greasier hair and more acne. Then I switched to shots, which did a lot more, just none of the possible outcomes I was looking for.

Within a month of starting the 0.35 cypionate shots, my A1C shot up and I became diabetic. (Several months later, my PCP got me started on Mounjaro which even now levels out my A1C perfectly well, but doesn't get rid of my diabetic symptoms when I eat.) I kept asking if my IUD would affect the HRT and everyone kept telling me that I should be fine.

I knew from my experience on the hormonal IUD that it affected my whole body. I felt the changes in my skin, fat distribution, mental state, etc when I first had it inserted, and then on from there. But I assumed the T would still work fine.

But I kept getting difficult symptoms on the shots. I have POTS, and I kept severely overheating in just like 70*F room temperature and going into presyncope. I also developed severe acne and oily skin as well as dermatitis and dandruff, all of which I hadn't experienced since puberty #1 (which in my PCOS case resembled a sort of mix of "standard" female and male puberty experiences). And then of course I became diabetic.

So I went on the gel again, but increased my dose significantly. Presently, I'm on 4 pumps of the 12.5 mg gel per day. And I still have all of the above listed negative side effects I had on the shots, except for the overheating. And I STILL haven't gotten any of the results I was hoping for.

So, here's my conclusion.

I've been on T for 3 years, and here are my results:

My last T level was 49.

My vocal range was halved - my upper range is gone but my voice never dropped to give me a deeper range.

I have virtually no new facial hair (like less than 5 dark chin hairs) or body hair, apart from the leg and arm hair I've always had.

I am now diabetic.

My hair and skin are still terribly oily, I have moderate dandruff and dermatitis, and I have horrible acne and acne scars all over my body now, but mostly my arms and face.

I have had virtually no bottom growth or libido increase (it increased slightly on the shots but then it went away when I switched back to gel)

My body fat has redistributed primarily away from my hips, thighs, and chest and to my stomach, face, and neck.

I gained 110 pounds in 3 years with no changes to diet or exercise, and I haven't gained any more muscle (part of that is on me though, my ability to exercise is limited). My appetite did increase for a minute, but then when I started Concerta shortly after starting T it leveled back out.

My period was still nonexistent thanks to the IUD so I didn't have cycle effects.

And honestly, I don't feel good overall. Everyone on HRT that I know has this good feeling when their hormones are lined up right, but I've just felt kind of awful in my bones the last three years. I guess my hormones aren't lining up right even still.

The testosterone really doesn't seem to be doing what I hoped or expected. So my plan now is to come off of it for awhile, let my body reset on the IUD so something is working (because the IUD alone in the past made me feel at least better than just rawdogging the PCOS symptoms), get a hysterectomy after awhile, and then try testosterone again after the hysterectomy.

But I know that theoretically I might be predisposed to little facial and body hair (my parents both don't have that problem so idk) and other lack of changes. So T might not help me in the future either. But I will check in after a few years and see if I wanna try again.

Idk. Testosterone is supposed to be "a hell of a drug", right? Point here is that it's different for everyone, and if you have any preexisting conditions or hormonal bullshit, you might get different effects than what you're expecting.

Do anecdotal research, read other trans people's stories, and don't rely on what the doctors tell you alone, because they probably don't know very much about HRT.

Lastly, I desperately hope this information gets to the right people. I don't want transphobes to get this and use it to argue some shit about transition regret. I DO NOT REGRET STARTING TESTOSTERONE. It just didn't affect me the way that I had hoped, and now I'm pivoting my plan in my medical transition.

HRT is just part of medical transition. HRT isn't right for every person trying to transition, and tbh not going down the exact "right" path for transition is basically everyone's experience - there is no "correct" path of medical transition. Everyone picks and chooses what's right for them from the buffet of options. And that's a good thing.

Love you all, hope this helps someone's research.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

so, saw your post about John's attraction to Lestrade, and it reminded me of 1) how hot Lestrade is ;) and 2) the chemistry between him and Sherlock. in my opinion, they have great chemistry and I'm actually surprised there aren't more Lestrade/Sherlock fics out there.

i wonder if you know of any Johnlock fics where Sherlock had a thing for Lestrade in the past? i would love to see John's reaction when learning about it :D

(re: this post here)

Hey Lovely!!!

YESSSSSS Greg is GORGEOUS, Rupert has always been a fine mess to look at, LOL. He's such a silver fox now, UGH.

Personally, I don't have any recs for Sherstrade since I genuinely see him more as a father figure and friend for Sherlock than anything else, but OF COURSE that's my preference! I know a lot of people love Sherstrade and also see the chemistry (I see the platonic chemistry, not romantic, LOL) I know that @gaylilsherlock has written a few Sherstrade fics, so LipstickDaddy is a good AO3 Account to check out.

Other than that, here are some fics that are tagged on my MFL list:

The Words We Say by SociallyIneptDork (G, 2,565 w., 1 Ch. || Sherstrade || Hurt/Comfort, Angst With Happy Ending, Paternal Lestrade, Hospitals, Big Brother Mycroft, Sherlock Whump, POV Sherlock, Ambiguous Relationship, Sherlock’s Called ‘Freak’) – Greg says what he shouldn't have, and he has to fix what he did. Story has Sherlock's past woven in to show what made him who he is today, so that he could finally begin healing.

Romantic Entanglement by LipstickDaddy (G, 12,025 w., 10 Ch. || Mutual Pining, Idiots in Love, Established Sherstrade, Love Triangles, Love Confessions, Eventual Mystrade, One Night Stands, Fluff, Miscommunication, Eventual Johnlock) – Everything else is transport… until it isn’t.

This Time Tomorrow (Where Will We Be?) by LipstickDaddy (T, 19,383 w., 11 Ch. || Sherstrade || Pre-Canon / Canon Rewrite, Graphic Violence, Friends to Lovers, POV Greg, Protective Greg, Cuddling and Snuggling, Drinking, Talking, Implied/Referenced Drug Use & Self-Harm, Developing Friendships, BAMF Greg, Bed Sharing, Rape/Non-Con, Flashbacks, Friendship / Love, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Friends with Benefits) – Greg Lestrade has known Sherlock Holmes longer than anyone else in the detective’s life; and he’s spent those years on a knife’s edge, keeping him out of harm’s way until the day he can’t. What happens now, Detective Inspector?

Following the (Silver) Fox by Jobooksandcoffee (E, 54,355 w., 15 Ch. || S3 Fix It Fic, Sherstrade, John/Mary, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Pining Sherlock, Resentful John, Regretful John, Domestic Life, Drug Use, Happy Ending, Greg’s Children, Friendship, Unrequited Love) – After two lonely and painful years away eliminating the threads of Moriarty’s web, Sherlock comes home to find John living with Mary. John is also hurt and resentful, determined to not allow Sherlock to undermine his relationship with his new fiancée. Greg, who always thought Sherlock and John belonged together, becomes a closer friend to Sherlock. He gives the Consulting Detective a place to stay, a friend to have dinner with, someone who will listen to him. He tries to keep all interfering feelings at bay. As Sherlock notices his friendship with Greg becomes stronger, he begins to accept that maybe he can be alright even with John not living at Baker Street any more. He and Lestrade can work at the Yard, and talk about cases. Greg is good at rescuing Sherlock when John and Mary’s wedding preparations get intense. They are friends. This is enough for Sherlock. Right?

=====

If anyone has something that they want to suggest to Charlie, let us know!!

[mariacallous]

On paper, the first candidate looked perfect. Thomas was from rural Tennessee and had studied computer science at the University of Missouri. His résumé said he’d been a professional programmer for eight years, and he’d breezed through a preliminary coding test. All of this was excellent news for Thomas’ prospective boss, Simon Wijckmans, founder of the web security startup C.Side. The 27-year-old Belgian was based in London but was looking for ambitious, fully remote coders.

Thomas had an Anglo-Saxon surname, so Wijckmans was surprised when he clicked into his Google Meet and found himself speaking with a heavily accented young man of Asian origin. Thomas had set a generic image of an office as his background. His internet connection was laggy—odd for a professional coder—and his end of the call was noisy. To Wijckmans, Thomas sounded like he was sitting in a large, crowded space, maybe a dorm or a call center.

Wijckmans fired off his interview questions, and Thomas’ responses were solid enough. But Wijckmans noticed that Thomas seemed most interested in asking about his salary. He didn’t come across as curious about the actual work or about how the company operated or even about benefits like startup stock or health coverage. Odd, thought Wijckmans. The conversation came to a close, and he got ready for the next interview in his queue.

Once again, the applicant said they were based in the US, had an Anglo name, and appeared to be a young Asian man with a thick, non-American accent. He used a basic virtual background, was on a terrible internet connection, and had a single-minded focus on salary. This candidate, though, was wearing glasses. In the lenses, Wijckmans spotted the reflection of multiple screens, and he could make out a white chatbox with messages scrolling by. “He was clearly either chatting with somebody or on some AI tool,” Wijckmans remembers.

On high alert, Wijckmans grabbed screenshots and took notes. After the call ended, he went back over the job applications. He found that his company’s listings were being flooded with applicants just like these: an opening for a full-stack developer got more than 500 applications in a day, far more than usual. And when he looked more deeply into the applicants’ coding tests, he saw that many candidates appeared to have used a virtual private network, or VPN, which allows you to mask your computer’s true location.

Wijckmans didn’t know it yet, but he’d stumbled onto the edges of an audacious, global cybercrime operation. He’d unwittingly made contact with an army of seemingly unassuming IT workers, deployed to work remotely for American and European companies under false identities, all to bankroll the government of North Korea.

With a little help from some friends on the ground, of course.

christina chapman was living in a trailer in Brook Park, Minnesota, a hamlet north of Minneapolis, when she got a note from a recruiter that changed her life. A bubbly 44-year-old with curly red hair and glasses, she loved her dogs and her mom and posting social justice content on TikTok. In her spare time she listened to K-pop, enjoyed Renaissance fairs, and got into cosplay. Chapman was also, according to her sparse online résumé, learning to code online.

It was March 2020 when she clicked on the message in her LinkedIn account. A foreign company was looking for somebody to “be the US face” of the business. The company needed help finding remote employment for overseas workers. Chapman signed on. It’s unclear how fast her workload grew, but by October 2022 she could afford a move from chilly Minnesota to a low-slung, four-bedroom house in Litchfield Park, Arizona. It wasn’t fancy—a suburban corner lot with a few thin trees—but it was a big upgrade over the trailer.

Chapman then started documenting more of her life on TikTok and YouTube, mostly talking about her diet, fitness, or mental health. In one chatty video, shared in June 2023, she described grabbing breakfast on the go—an açaí bowl and a smoothie— because work was so busy. “My clients are going crazy!” she complained. In the background, the camera caught a glimpse of metal racks holding at least a dozen open laptops covered in sticky notes. A few months later, federal investigators raided Chapman’s home, seized the laptops, and eventually filed charges alleging that she had spent three years aiding the “illicit revenue generation efforts” of the government of North Korea.

For maybe a decade, North Korean intelligence services have been training young IT workers and sending them abroad in teams, often to China or Russia. From these bases, they scour the web for job listings all over, usually in software engineering, and usually with Western companies. They favor roles that are fully remote, with solid wages, good access to data and systems, and few responsibilities. Over time they began applying for these jobs using stolen or fake identities and relying on members of their criminal teams to provide fictional references; some have even started using AI to pass coding tests, video interviews, and background checks.

But if an applicant lands a job offer, the syndicate needs somebody on the ground in the country the applicant claims to live in. A fake employee, after all, can’t use the addresses or bank accounts linked to their stolen IDs, and they can’t dial in to a company’s networks from overseas without instantly triggering suspicion. That’s where someone like Christina Chapman comes in.

As the “facilitator” for hundreds of North Korea–linked jobs, Chapman signed fraudulent documents and handled some of the fake workers’ salaries. She would often receive their paychecks in one of her bank accounts, take a cut, and wire the rest overseas: Federal prosecutors say Chapman was promised as much as 30 percent of the money that passed through her hands.

Her most important job, though, was tending the “laptop farm.” After being hired, a fake worker will typically ask for their company computer to be sent to a different address than the one on record—usually with some tale about a last-minute move or needing to stay with a sick relative. The new address, of course, belongs to the facilitator, in this case Chapman. Sometimes the facilitator forwards the laptop to an address overseas, but more commonly that person holds onto it and installs software that allows it to be controlled remotely. Then the fake employee can connect to their machine from anywhere in the world while appearing to be in the US. (“You know how to install Anydesk?” one North Korean operative asked Chapman in 2022. “I do it practically EVERYDAY!” she replied.)

In messages with her handlers, Chapman discussed sending government forms like the I-9, which attests that a person is legally able to work in the US. (“I did my best to copy your signature,” she wrote. “Haha. Thank you,” came the response.) She also did basic tech troubleshooting and dialed into meetings on a worker’s behalf, sometimes on short notice, as in this conversation from November 2023:

Worker: We are going to have laptop setup meeting in 20 mins. Can you join Teams meeting and follow what IT guy say? Because it will require to restart laptop multiple times and I can not handle that. You can mute and just follow what they say ...

Chapman: Who do I say I am?

Worker: You don’t have to say, I will be joining there too.

Chapman: I just typed in the name Daniel. If they ask WHY you are using two devices, just say the microphone on your laptop doesn’t work right ... Most IT people are fine with that explanation.

Sometimes, she got jumpy. “I hope you guys can find other people to do your physical I9s,” she wrote to her bosses in 2023, according to court documents. “I will SEND them for you, but have someone else do the paperwork. I can go to FEDERAL PRISON for falsifying federal documents.” Michael Barnhart, an investigator at cybersecurity company DTEX and a leading expert on the North Korean IT worker threat, says Chapman’s involvement followed a standard pattern—from an innocuous initial contact on LinkedIn to escalating requests. “Little by little, the asks get bigger and bigger,” he says. “Then by the end of the day, you’re asking the facilitator to go to a government facility to pick up an actual government ID.”

By the time investigators raided Chapman’s home, she was housing several dozen laptops, each with a sticky note indicating the fake worker’s identity and employer. Some of the North Korean operatives worked multiple jobs; some had been toiling quietly for years. Prosecutors said at least 300 employers had been pulled into this single scheme, including “a top-five national television network and media company, a premier Silicon Valley technology company, an aerospace and defense manufacturer, an iconic American car manufacturer, a high-end retail store, and one of the most recognizable media and entertainment companies in the world.” Chapman, they alleged, had helped pass along at least $17 million. She pleaded guilty in February 2025 to charges relating to wire fraud, identity theft, and money laundering and is awaiting sentencing.

Chapman’s case is just one of several North Korean fake-worker prosecutions making their way through US courts. A Ukrainian named Oleksandr Didenko has been accused of setting up a freelancing website to connect fake IT workers with stolen identities. Prosecutors say at least one worker was linked to Chapman’s laptop farm and that Didenko also has ties to operations in San Diego and Virginia. Didenko was arrested in Poland last year and was extradited to the United States. In Tennessee, 38-year-old Matthew Knoot is due to stand trial for his alleged role in a scheme that investigators say sent hundreds of thousands of dollars to accounts linked to North Korea via his laptop farm in Nashville. (Knoot has pleaded not guilty.) And in January 2025, Florida prosecutors filed charges against two American citizens, Erick Ntekereze Prince and Emanuel Ashtor, as well as a Mexican accomplice and two North Koreans. (None of the defendants’ lawyers in these cases responded to requests for comment.) The indictments claim that Prince and Ashtor had spent six years running a string of fake staffing companies that placed North Koreans in at least 64 businesses.

before the hermit kingdom had its laptop farms, it had a single confirmed internet connection, at least as far as the outside world could tell. As recently as 2010, that one link to the web was reserved for use by high-ranking officials. Then, in 2011, 27-year-old Kim Jong Un succeeded his father as the country’s dictator. Secretly educated in Switzerland and said to be an avid gamer, the younger Kim made IT a national priority. In 2012, he urged some schools to “pay special attention to intensifying their computer education” to create new possibilities for the government and military. Computer science is now on some high school curricula, while college students can take courses on information security, robotics, and engineering.

The most promising students are taught hacking techniques and foreign languages that can make them more effective operatives. Staff from government agencies including the Reconnaissance General Bureau— the nation’s clandestine intelligence service—recruit the highest-scoring graduates of top schools like Kim Chaek University of Technology (described by many as “the MIT of North Korea”) or the prestigious University of Sciences in Pyongsong. They are promised good wages and unfettered access to the internet—the real internet, not the intranet available to well-off North Koreans, which consists of a mere handful of heavily censored North Korean websites.

The earliest cyberattacks launched by Pyongyang were simple affairs: defacing websites with political messages or launching denial-of-service attacks to shut down US websites. They soon grew more audacious. In 2014, North Korean hackers famously stole and leaked confidential information from Sony’s film studio. Then they targeted financial institutions: Fraudulent trades pulled more than $81 million from the Bank of Bangladesh’s accounts at the New York Federal Reserve. After that, North Korean hackers moved into ransomware—the WannaCry attack in 2017 locked hundreds of thousands of Windows computers in 150 countries and demanded payments in bitcoin. While the amount of revenue the attack generated is up for debate—some say it earned just $140,000 in payouts—it wreaked much wider damage as companies worked to upgrade their systems and security, costing as much as $4 billion, according to one estimate.

Governments responded with more sanctions and stronger security measures, and the regime pivoted, dialing back on ransomware in favor of quieter schemes. It turns out these are also more lucrative: Today, the most valuable tool in North Korea’s cybercrime armory is cryptocurrency theft. In 2022, hackers stole more than $600 million worth of the cryptocurrency ether by attacking the blockchain game Axie Infinity; in February of this year, they robbed the Dubai-based crypto exchange Bybit of $1.5 billion worth of digital currency. The IT pretender scam, meanwhile, seems to have been growing slowly until the pandemic dramatically expanded the number of remote jobs, and Pyongyang saw the perfect opportunity.

In 2024, according to a recent report from South Korea’s National Intelligence Service, the number of people working in North Korea’s cyber divisions—which includes pretenders, crypto thieves, and military hackers—stood at 8,400, up from 6,800 two years earlier. Some of these workers are based in the country, but many are stationed overseas in China, Russia, Pakistan, or elsewhere. They are relatively well compensated, but their posting is hardly cushy.

Teams of 10 to 20 young men live and work out of a single apartment, sleeping four or five to a room and grinding up to 14 hours a day at weird hours to correspond with their remote job’s time zone. They have quotas of illicit earnings they are expected to meet. Their movements are tightly controlled, as are those of their relatives, who are effectively held hostage to prevent defections. “You don’t have any freedom,” says Hyun-Seung Lee, a North Korean defector who lives in Washington, DC, and says some of his old friends were part of such operations. “You’re not allowed to leave the apartment unless you need to purchase something, like grocery shopping, and that is arranged by the team leader. Two or three people must go together so there’s no opportunity for them to explore.”

The US government estimates that a typical team of pretenders can earn up to $3 million each year for Pyongyang. Experts say the money is pumped into everything from Kim Jong Un’s personal slush fund to the country’s nuclear weapons program. A few million dollars may seem small next to the flashy crypto heists— but with so many teams operating in obscurity, the fraud is effective precisely because it is so mundane.

in the summer of 2022, a major multinational company hired a remote engineer to work on website development. “He would dial in to meetings, he would participate in discussions,” an executive at the company told me on condition of anonymity. “His manager said he was considered the most productive member of the team.”

One day, his coworkers organized a surprise to celebrate his birthday. Colleagues gathered on a video call to congratulate him, only to be startled by his response—but it’s not my birthday. After nearly a year at the company, the worker had apparently forgotten the birth date listed in his records. It was enough to spark suspicion, and soon afterward the security team discovered that he was running remote access tools on his work computer, and he was let go. It was only later, when federal investigators discovered one of his pay stubs at Christina Chapman’s laptop farm in Arizona, that the company connected the dots and realized it had employed a foreign agent for nearly a year.

For many pretenders, the goal is simply to earn a good salary to send back to Pyongyang, not so much to steal money or data. “We’ve seen long-tail operations where they were going 10, 12, 18 months working in some of these organizations,” says Adam Meyers, a senior vice president for counter adversary operations at the security company CrowdStrike. Sometimes, though, North Korean operatives last just a few days— enough time to download huge amounts of company data or plant malicious software in a company’s systems before abruptly quitting. That code could alter financial data or manipulate security information. Or these seeds could lay dormant for months, even years.

“The potential risk from even one minute of access to systems is almost unlimited for an individual company,” says Declan Cummings, the head of engineering at software company Cinder. Experts say that attacks are ramping up not just in the US but also in Germany, France, Britain, Japan and other countries. They urge companies to do rigorous due diligence: speak directly to references, watch for candidates making sudden changes of address, use reputable online screening tools, and conduct a physical interview or in-person ID verification.

But none of these methods are foolproof, and AI tools are constantly weakening them. ChatGPT and the like give almost anyone the capacity to answer esoteric questions in real time with unearned confidence, and their fluency with coding threatens to make programming tests irrelevant. AI video filters and deepfakes can also add to the subterfuge.

At an onboarding call, for instance, many HR representatives now ask new employees to hold their ID up to the camera for closer inspection. “But the fraudsters have a neat trick there,” says Donal Greene, a biometrics expert at the online background check provider Certn. They take a green-colored card the exact shape and size of an identity card—a mini green screen—and, using deepfake technology, project the image of an ID onto it. “They can actually move it and show the reflection,” says Greene. “It’s very sophisticated.” North Korean agents have even been known to send look-alikes to pick up a physical ID card from an office or to take a drug test required by prospective employers.

Even security experts can be fooled. In July 2024, Knowbe4, a Florida-based company that offers security training, discovered that a new hire known as “Kyle” was actually a foreign agent. “He interviewed great,” says Brian Jack, KnowBe4’s chief information security officer. “He was on camera, his résumé was right, his background check cleared, his ID cleared verification. We didn’t have any reason to suspect this wasn’t a valid candidate.” But when his facilitator—the US-based individual giving him cover—tried to install malware on Kyle’s company computer, the security team caught on and shut him out.

Back in london, Simon Wijckmans couldn’t let go of the idea that somebody had tried to fool him. He’d just read about the Knowbe4 case, which deepened his suspicions. He conducted background checks and discovered that some of his candidates were definitely using stolen identities. And, he found, some of them were linked to known North Korean operations. So Wijckmans decided to wage a little counter exercise of his own, and he invited me to observe.

I dial in to Google Meet at 3 am Pacific time, tired and bleary. We deliberately picked this offensively early hour because it’s 6 am in Miami, where the candidate, “Harry,” claims to be.

Harry joins the call, looking pretty fresh-faced. He’s maybe in his late twenties, with short, straight, black hair. Everything about him seems deliberately nonspecific: He wears a plain black crewneck sweater and speaks into an off-brand headset. “I just woke up early today for this interview, no problem,” he says. “I know that working with UK hours is kind of a requirement, so I can get my working hours to yours, so no problem with it.”

So far, everything matches the hallmarks of a fake worker. Harry’s virtual background is one of the default options provided by Google Meet, and his connection is a touch slow. His English is good but heavily accented, even though he tells us he was born in New York and grew up in Brooklyn. Wijckmans starts with some typical interview questions, and Harry keeps glancing off to his right as he responds. He talks about various coding languages and name-drops the frameworks he’s familiar with. Wijckmans starts asking some deeper technical questions. Harry pauses. He looks confused. “Can I rejoin the meeting?” he asks. “I have a problem with my microphone.” Wijckman nods, and Harry disappears.

A couple of minutes pass, and I start to fret that we’ve scared him away, but then he pops back into the meeting. His connection isn’t much better, but his answers are clearer. Maybe he restarted his chatbot, or got a coworker to coach him. The call runs a few more minutes and we say goodbye.

Our next applicant calls himself “Nic.” On his résumé he’s got a link to a personal website, but this guy doesn’t look much like the profile photo on the site. This is his second interview with Wijckmans, and we are certain that he’s faking it: He’s one of the applicants who failed the background check after his first call, although he doesn’t know that.

Nic’s English is worse than Harry’s: When he’s asked what time it is, he tells us it’s “six and past” before correcting himself and saying “quarter to seven.” Where does he live? “I’m in Ohio for now,” he beams, like a kid who got something right in a pop quiz.

Several minutes in, though, his answers become nonsensical. Simon asks him a question about web security. “Political leaders ... government officials or the agencies responsible for border security,” Nic says. “They’re responsible for monitoring and also securing the borders, so we can employ the personnel to patrol the borders and also check the documents and enforce the immigration laws.”

I’m swapping messages with Wijckmans on the back channel we’ve set up when it dawns on us: Whatever AI bot Nic seems to be using must have misinterpreted a mention of “Border Gateway Protocol”—a system for sending traffic across the internet—with national borders, and started spewing verbiage about immigration enforcement. “What a waste of time,” Wijckmans messages me. We wrap up the conversation abruptly.

I try to put myself in the seat of a hiring manager or screener who’s under pressure. The fraudsters’ words may not have always made sense, but their test scores and résumés looked solid, and their technical-sounding guff might be enough to fool an uninformed recruiter. I suspect at least one of them could have made it to the next step in some unsuspecting company’s hiring process.

Wijckmans tells me he has a plan if he comes across another pretender. He has created a web page that looks like a standard coding assessment, which he’ll send to fake candidates. As soon as they hit the button to start the test, their browser will spawn dozens of pop-up pages that bounce around the screen, all of them featuring information on how to defect from North Korea. Then loud music plays—a rickroll, “The Star-Spangled Banner”—before the computer starts downloading random files and emits an ear-splitting beep. “Just a little payback,” he says.

Wijckman’s stunt is not going to stop the pretenders, of course. But maybe it will irritate them for a moment. Then they’ll get back to work, signing on from some hacking sweatshop in China or through a laptop farm in the US, and join the next team meeting—a quiet, camera-off chat with coworkers just like me or you.

[j0kers-light]

That imagine with the reader having a past with batman...wooow 🔥 Would you continue it...and make it a bit dark?

His Lighthouse: Bat Connections (LedgerJoker x f!reader)

Bat Connections - Oneshot

KEEP IN MIND THIS IS NOT A STORY UPDATE!

Hey hi anon!! Another late request filled a month later. Please don't be upset with me anon, I love you!! 🖤✨

Okay children! Gather round. Let's go over the legal stuff first! I personally don’t care about trigger warnings cuz imma big girl. I read some morbid stuff for breakfast but for our more sensitive readers, I’ll add a TW just for this oneshot.

TW! Dark!Joker. The following content: CNC, knife play, breath play, degradation, impact play, power play(?), dacryphilia, unprotected sex (J doesn’t believe in condoms no ways but hey) spitting, biting, dirty talk, overstimulation, I mean… the list goes on but I’m getting tiied sis. 

Just proceed with caution, mkay? This is canon Joker you’re about to read and I didn’t hold back. I’m so excited to dip my feet back into dark content again! Please read this head canon before continuing. Keep in mind that this is not canon with the series and should be read as a standalone. Enjoy! 🖤✨

taglist:

@blackreaderatrisk @clemdango04 @l3ejm@what-an-angel @darthjokerisyourfather @thatsnoteii @dollster @cheetahspy @kaidennnnn @urdariingdoll @motivation-idontknowher @ins0mniac-whack

Wanna be included in the His Lighthouse journey? Join the taglist!

So what if you had history with Batman?

You were a grown woman— who was single at the time, thank you very much– with wants and needs! Could you blame yourself for having a little fun? I mean? Have you seen the man? You'd be crazy for not jumping on that tall glass of water. Batman had no business running around clad in leather looking the way he does.

Honestly, it should be illegal. You were a victim of a thirst trap!

Those two old pictures recirculating the web landed you in some hot water with Joker but it wasn't that bad, right?

J still loved you.. and this all happened before you and him even met! Why was he getting bent out of shape over something in the past?

Sure you licked Batman's cowl and #Leathertastesfunny and #Ihadworse was a wild comment to make, but it was just harmless fun.

Now the second photo op? Okay. You plead the fifth.

Batman slammed you into the wall which made your thumb slip and well.. that selfie happened. The sex that followed was.. phew.

YOU WERE NOT GOING TO TELL JOKER THAT PART.

You weren't dumb. You valued your life. Joker and Batman hated each other (you were convinced otherwise but let's move on..) It happened before you met Joker.

Why was that part not clicking?

Yet one look into Joker's cold green eyes confirmed your fears. He knew. And that was bad. Real bad. Horrible in fact.

This man put the J in Jealousy and this new development was a slap in the face; the ultimate betrayal. It was the straw that broke the camel's back and you were terrified to even think about what Joker would do to you as punishment.

There wasn't a soft way to break this news to Joker but in your defense, you thought he would never find out. However, the internet literally screwed you over.

You weren't prepared for Joker's jealous rage.

He only showered you with love and affection, never anger. The man in front of you now was The Joker that Gotham City feared. There was a dark gleam in his eye and not an ounce of your kind, loving J remained therein. This Joker looked at you as if you were a stain on his suit and nothing more.

It was in your best interest to vacate the premises until he calmed down. You started to back away slowly and of course Joker noticed.

"I'd run too if I were you, cuz when I catch ya... mmhm.When I get my handsss on you? I'm gonna ruin you." Even his voice was sinister and devoid of love.

"One."

Your ancestors heard the count down and begged for you to run. You always listened to their wisdom. You squeaked in fear and bolted from the room.

The front door was too far away so your mind quickly thought–

The maintenance hatch. If you could get to the storage room and make it to the floor below, you were good as gold.

You ran and vaguely heard Joker call out "Two..." as you made it down the hall.

He casually stood to his feet and followed your feeble escape with ease. You weren't even giving him a challenge. He honestly thought you would try for the front door but you surprised him by taking advantage of the secret exit that was closer.

Smart girl.

You made it to the storage room and flicked the lock and chain into place before pushing a table to block the door. You nodded at your handiwork and began focusing on opening the latch to descend. It was tricky to open from this side but not impossible.

Joker gave you props. Your methods were sound.

Locking the door and barricading it from the inside. It was a great strategy against someone else but Joker's rage defied all logic.

You jumped when you heard him hit the door. The chain rattled but held tight.

"Now I wonder.... where oh where could my little slut be?" Joker sang out, knowing that you were panicking inside.

He was ramming something, or maybe just his shoulder, against the door. With each impact, your hopes of escaping dwindled. The chain broke the same time you started to descend the ladder. Joker broke the door in and shoved the table aside with relative ease.

You were almost down the ladder but said screw it and jumped the last few steps to buy yourself some more time.

You landed awkwardly on your ankle but your adrenaline brushed off the pain and gave you godspeed to the door on the maintenance floor.

Your hand grazed the handle when Joker snatched you away. Your screams were music to his ears.

Joker used to care about your safety. J knew being with him romantically painted a huge target on your back so he taught you basic self defense, but you never thought you would be using what you learned to fight him off.

Joker was stronger and he knew your mannerisms and weak spots.

Any defense tactics you learned went down the drain with him as your opponent. He dodged your fists and mocked your weak attempts at fighting back. His jeers made you want to cry but you kept at it and landed a solid kick to his crotch.

Joker had a high tolerance to pain; yet he was still a man. He cursed under his breath and doubled over until the pain subsided.

You scrambled away and maybe it was a miracle (or just Joker messing with you to think you got away) but you managed to hit the stairwell in record time.

You cleared one floor and were descending another when you were tackled from behind. "Got ya!"

Your heart leapt out of your chest thinking you were about to tumble down the stairs but Joker tackled you on the landing between levels. Unfortunately, you took the brunt of the fall and Joker landing on you– knocked what air that was left from your lungs.

Joker was heavy and since you lost favor with him, he could stop holding back and be himself.

He put a stop to your flailing arms with a growl, "Hold still, Y/n!" He knocked your legs apart and straddled your body, letting you feel his erection brushing against your thigh.

"Joker, you're hurting me!" You screamed with the hope that someone on the level would hear you and come investigate.

"Good! Let's hurt ya some more!" He grinned.

He lifted your head, only to slam it roughly back on the unforgiving floor. Your head spun like a Saturday cartoon character. He was going to kill you.

The realization hurt worse than the concrete.

J was about to do it a third time but you bit his arm in hopes that he would let you go. It barely phased him.

"Really Y/n? Tsk, did you act like this with Batsy? Hmm? No, I bet... you begged him to f__k ya like the whore you are." He grunted when you kneeled him in the groin again.

He clicked his tongue and didn't think about his actions.

Joker slapped you across the face and it worked like a charm bringing you back to focus. Your head was forced to the side but you blinked in shock before staring at J in utter disbelief.

Joker would never lay a finger on you. "J.."

He grabbed your jaw and yelled in your face. "Shut up! I don't wanna hear.. another worD. You... you make me so.... So angry! Why? Why Bunny? Why him? Am I noT good enough for ya? Is it the scars?" Joker squeezed your face harder.

You whimpered but you didn't speak another word. So you could follow orders after all. He enjoyed the fear swirling in your e/c eyes.

For so long he suppressed his urges and desires. A part of him longed to see you fear him and today he finally got to see it. In this stairwell with you lying helpless underneath him, Joker soaked up your terror and craved for more.

You teared up and made the mistake of opening your mouth. "I-It was just o-one time, J! I p-promise!" You saw Joker's eye twitch and you knew you screwed up.

He smiled and tipped his head back laughing. It echoed in the barren stairwell and hurt your eardrums.

Joker's hand slipped from holding your jaw to wrapping firmly around your neck.

He stopped laughing as you began to struggle anew.

"Yeah? Just one time? Well... One. Time. Too many." He smiled as your face slowly turned blue. What a lovely shade against your bronzed skin he thought.

You clawed at his hands crushing your throat but you couldn't think and fight him with the limited oxygen you had left.

Joker groaned when your eyelashes fluttered closed. He started to grind his cock against you in earnest. You looked so pretty losing consciousness, he just couldn't help himself and squeezed tighter.

Your chest heaved and Joker saw you about to slip under so he pulled back.

You sucked in precious air and Joker didn't give you a moment's reprieve. He leaned down and licked the salty tears from your face. "You're sooooo pretty like thiss."

In that moment you knew; Joker had completely lost it. His hot breath fanned over your wet cheeks and you tensed feeling his dick grind harder onto your thigh.

You were sick to your stomach. He was enjoying this?

"G-Get off of me!" You croaked out while bucking your weight against Joker. You were trying to shove him off but in Joker's twisted mind, you were reciprocating his lust.

Your feeble attempts provided Joker more friction and he rewarded your actions.

"Needy little thing aren't ya? Since it was only a.. one time thing, I'm gonna use you.. just this once the way you deserve."

Joker's hands caressed over your waistline and began to pull down your pants. You protested immediately.

You only had on a fan made t-shirt and faded sweatpants, whereas Joker remained fully clothed in his three piece suit and clown makeup. It was probably smeared all over you. He was unbothered by you fighting back and set about taking your clothes off.

You were not about to just lay here and let Joker have his way with you. You didn't want this and you weren't going down without a fight.

With a battle cry, you fought back even more but Joker rolled his eyes and collected both of your wrists with one of his own and held them up over your head.

A sharp clicking noise stole your attention and you looked down right as Joker used a hidden knife to cut your pants off.

"Joker, stop! I-I don't.... I want this!" You hissed when he dragged the knife up your chest, leaving a trail of blood in its wake.

Your shirt fell open right down the middle from the cut and Joker hummed at the sight of your heaving breasts.

You never wore a bra or panties these days. You were practically asking for this.

"Quit whining, slut. She wants this.. just look at her.." Joker chuckled and set aside his knife to plunge two fingers into your pussy. It horrified you to discover that you were sopping wet.

"No! No, I don't!"

He sank his fingers to the knuckle and made rough, come hither motions right over your g spot.

Your hips bucked up on command. Your body was literally betraying you. For months Joker trained you to accept only his touch but you couldn't believe your pussy would fold so quickly. She didn't care that Joker was bashing your head against the ground or choking the life outta you moments prior.

Girl. Get it together, you are in danger! You screamed at yourself. Your pussy refused to comment.

Joker seemed to notice your inner struggle.

"All it takes is a lit-le bit of uhh stimulation, and she gives in! Don't be upset, Bunny! I own this pussy, of course she listens to me."

Joker leaned down and whispered in your ear, "A good pet listens to its master."

You moaned when he sped up. Joker was a wizard with his hands and used those powers to his advantage. He watched you try and fight your body's natural reaction and fail miserably. Your struggles made him stroke you harder.

More tears dotted your lashes as your orgasm crept up to the surface. His fingers felt too good scissoring their way inside your gummy walls. Joker could get you off in minutes and today was no different.

You didn't want this but your body spoke on your behalf.

The sound of your wet cunt gushing on Joker's fingers was the only sound in the stairwell besides your stifled moans. A blinding hot heat traveled up your spine and you knew you wouldn't last.

"Joker! I-I... I'm so–" Joker laughed as you came on his fingers and jerked in his hold.

You held it back for so long, your release seemed never ending and Joker (like always) talked you through it.

"That's it!! Give it to me Y/n. Such a good little pet all for me!" Your body turned on its side and Joker let your wrists go for now.

You curled into a ball and wept as the last shivers of pleasure tormented your body. You didn't see Joker loosening his tie and unbuckling his belt. He knew you would love this next bit. You always do.

So what if his arch enemy had a taste of his girl? He'd f__k some sense back into you. You were his and he did not share.

The next time J saw the masked hero, it was on sight. No more playing games; he was gonna kill the bat. No one touched what's his and lived to tell the tale.

Joker pulled his dick out and stroked it as he watched you pull yourself back together. You blinked back your afterglow and spoke.

"I'm s-sorry Joker. I... it won't happen again. It was a mista–" You looked up and saw J towering over you. Since when did he stand up?

Then your gaze fell to his dick. It looked bigger somehow. You watched it twitch right in front of your eyes before your gaze flickered back up to Joker.

He was laughing at your petrified look.

"Aww you think I'm gonna, uhhh, believe that ap-polo-gy? No. Open your mouth and work for your forgiveness."

He stepped closer and you shook your head, scooting away.

"Wait, J please I can.." Your back hit the wall and Joker blocked the only way out. He sucked his teeth when you cowered away. He reached out and grabbed the back of your hair to force you closer to his dick.

"Go on whore. Do what you're best at. SucK."

You shook your head and pushed against Joker's legs but he wasn't having it. He slapped you again and growled down at you, "I won'T repeat myself."

He didn't wait for you to make up any more excuses. He pried your mouth open with his tip before shoving the rest of his cock down your throat.

He used the grip on your head to force your mouth up and down his dick. "See?! It's not so.. hehe.. hard now is it?" He chuckled yet it faded into a groan.

He was doing all of the work but it still felt amazing. Joker didn't care if you couldn't breathe and he didn't care if you tapped your safe word on his leg. You didn't deserve that luxury.

In Joker's mind, you were just another tool for him to use and discard whenever he saw fit. Your needs didn't matter as long as he got his.

Joker felt you trying to pull away. He quickly slammed your head into the wall behind you. Your mouth opened wider in pain.

Joker made sure the only thing you could do was sit up and choke on his dick. He held your head still and began f__king your face since you didn't want to cooperate.

It was sloppy and wet but the sounds spurred Joker on. Your mouth was always his greatest weakness.

Your throat was bottomless and could take every last inch of him just like your pussy. Joker's hips lost their rhythm just thinking about your tight hole.

He wanted that. He needed to reclaim it.

It didn't matter that your affair with Batman happened days before you and Joker met or that it was truly a one time thing. You had options if you wanted another lover. Just the thought of you leaving him made Joker go insane.

You needed to be put in your place. You were his toy.

Joker was itching closer and close to his release but pulled out of your mouth with a groan.

You cried out and fell forward onto your hands, sucking in what much oxygen you could muster. Your jaw was sore and your voice was probably gone with the violent way Joker was using your throat.

He was so rough and didn't care about your wellbeing at all. He ignored the Morse code you tapped on his leg and the complete disregard for the safety system the two of you created, shattered your heart.

Joker didn't care anymore. He broke your trust with that single action.

You tried crawling away and Joker let you make it a few paces away before he dropped to his knees and dragged you back towards him by your ankle.

Sure enough, your voice was gone and only a broken cry escaped your mouth.

"Good. I didn't wanna hear you whining." Joker grumbled. He smacked your behind and slotted his wet dick in between your folds.

You kicked at J but he locked your legs in with his own and pushed your shoulders down onto the floor. You were bullied into doggystyle with your hands held tightly behind your back. You were completely restrained.

If anyone ever used the stairs, they would've seen Joker's sinister red grin as he slid in deep.

"Ahhh yessss. Still sooo wet! I just love how much you want this! Such a dirty little girl I have.. getting ngh.. off on being used. Isn't that right? Ya like being used huh pet?"

Joker shoved you face down on the dirty floor. "Don'T. Answer. I feel you squeezing down on me, f__k.. doll! I love it when you do that."

You felt sick for enjoying each drag of Joker's dick going in and out of your pussy. His swollen head felt amazing knocking against your g spot and his verbal assaults were equally degrading but they still made your head swim in desire.

You should hate this, hate Joker for treating you like trash. But he didn't hold back and showed you his true colors and a teeny tiny part of you loved that.

A rough Joker hit the spot in ways that frightened you.

His grip on your waist ached and he thoroughly enjoyed ramming his cock deeper to hear each hiccup you made. Every thrust burned in the best way and when he yanked your curls, you moaned dejectedly.

"Needy little slut.. Look at me." J craned your head back so you could look up at him from behind.

"Mouth, open it." You didn't question it. Your tongue lulled out and Joker grinned before spitting right down your throat. You recoiled but wisely swallowed.

He felt your pussy flutter around him and chuckled.

"Didn't have to tell you f__k, you're soo desperate! Ahh, soo obedient for me. Hmmm, were you a good cock slut for him too? Heh, course you were. You'd do anything for dick. Pathetic."

Joker pulled your hair again and you whined at the sting it left behind. His brutal strokes hadn't let up and they left you lightheaded and panting for air.

And Joker wanted to abuse that luxury. He let go of your hair to grab your neck from behind. You gasped and rested your hands on Joker's arm on instinct.

Normally in bed, Joker required that your hands be on him at all times so you could signal to him if he became too rough. But what use would it do since he completely disregarded your safe system?

He choked you with one hand and snaked his other down your body to play with your clit.

Your knees buckled once he found it and if it wasn't for J's hold on your neck, you would've crumbled to the floor.

Joker whispered dirty things into your ear but you couldn't hear a thing over the sound of your heart beating wildly. He was cutting off your air and as a result you were slipping fast.

"Oh no no no no no Bunny. None of that. Breathe."

He thrusted deep and released your throat which caused you to come on his dick.

The rush was unlike anything you've ever experienced. You didn't know whether to breathe it all in or pass out. You were high on oxygen and pleasure and crumbled to the floor in a semi comatose state.

You were floating but you could faintly feel Joker still beating up your walls. He followed your descent to the floor and caged you in with his body. You were bone tired and couldn't lift a finger, let alone try and stop him.

"Ah, p-please, J.. its too– ah! Too much!" You were still sensitive from your orgasm and, no surprise, Joker didn't care.

He continued to thrust himself deeper and deeper and panted on your shoulder in ecstasy. "S-Shut.. up n' take it. Take it. Take it. Take it. Take it.. yesss! Aww f-f__k! I'm gonna cum, pet."

You knew he was by the unabashed moans spilling from his lips. Joker sounded divine in the throes of passion and against your wishes, your pussy fluttered around him, prepping for another orgasm.

He felt it and hissed loudly. "Yeah, gimme another one, doll. I want it! Right. Now." Joker furiously rubbed your clit and snatched your orgasm right from under you.

Your mouth fell open in a silent scream as Joker's cock bottomed out for the final time. He emptied his seed into your greedy cunt with a feral groan.

"You're mine." Joker said and bit down on your shoulder, hard.

You screamed and tried to get away but Joker had you pinned underneath him. Your only option was to lie there and take whatever Joker had to offer.

And if you thought that Joker would come to his senses after sex and apologize, then you were sorely mistaken.

He lazily thrusted his dick one, or twice before pulling out with a sigh. Joker admired his work and located your torn shirt off to the side to wipe himself dry.

You whimpered at the sudden bereft feeling and hated that your pussy clenched around nothing in earnest. It aches for something you didn't want in the first place.

You didn't have the energy to lift your head but you heard Joker buckle his belt back and stand as if nothing happened.

"Catch your.. breath and meet me back in the uhh a-part-ment. I'm not done with ya."

Your eyes flew open when you heard his footsteps climb up the stairs. He was leaving you here, naked and bruised, only to find some strength and do this all over again upstairs?

He truly had lost his mind.

You must've whimpered because Joker stopped on the stairs and looked down. You met his cold gaze and shivered. Whatever smidgen of love that Joker held for you was long gone.

In its place was nothing but contempt. "Hurry up, pet. Don'T. Keep me waiting."

[izicodes]

Hello! Do you have any advice on getting into freelance coding or remote jobs in the field? I'm having trouble with my current endeavors of applications and my current customer service job isn't doing me well enough to want to stay, so I'm hoping for progress sooner rather than later. Anything helps, thank you!!

Hiya 🖤

Thanks for reaching out with your question about getting into freelance coding or remote jobs. Making a transition can be challenging, but with dedication and strategic steps, you can definitely progress in your career.

Firstly, consider specializing in a specific field of computer science rather than trying to learn everything. This will help you become an expert in a niche, making you more attractive to potential clients or employers.

The big thing to look at is (1) what specific job do you want? Don't know yet? That's the first thing you need to find out. (2) Found the job you want? Go to this website "roadmap.sh" and click the job title you want and look at the roadmap to become it. (3) Have an idea of what you need to learn? Now study :)

Here are some extra key pieces of advice:

Public Code Repositories

Showcase your coding skills by contributing to public repositories on platforms like GitHub, GitLab, or others. This allows potential employers to see your projects and assess your coding abilities.

Online Certifications

Earn certifications from reputable online courses like Freecodecamp, Codecademy, or SheCodes (if you're a woman). Displaying these certifications on your LinkedIn profile adds credibility for remote work or even freelance work because then clients will trust your skills more if it's back up with evidence (projects and/or certificates).

Links: "Massive List of Thousands of Free Certificates" / "The Udemy courses I use" / "FreeCodeCamp" / "Codecedemy" / "SheCodes" / "Udacity" / "Coursera" / "Google"

LinkedIn Profile

Revamp your LinkedIn profile to reflect your job title. Use a title that aligns with your dream job, and highlight your skills, certifications, and projects. You don't even need work experience OR do what a lot of my developer mates do have no work experience and set your "job" as a self-employed freelance developer... little cheat there~!

Links: "LinkedIn Career Explorer" / "Tips for speaking to/reaching out to Recruiter" / "Tips for Landing Your First Entry-Level Developer Job" / "Career Services for Web Development" / "The Talent Cloud Community: Careers Workshop"

Volunteering

Help someone out with a project for their business or whatever. For example, I helped a guy I met in a programming discord server build his portfolio page for free, but I care more about the experience. Search online for volunteer jobs with your dream job title e.g. Volunteer App Develope, but in your country would be better. The experience you can you can add to your LinkedIn. the project you work on you can add to your resume/experience.

Link: "SkilledUp Life"

Networking

Connect with professionals in your field on LinkedIn, even if you don't know them personally. Growing your network can open up opportunities and expose you to valuable insights. Events in person or online, servers (I found volunteer opportunities here), forums, Twitter (I found some mates on there), Instagram (another place I found developer friends). Networking can even help with building group projects~!

Link: "Tips for speaking to/reaching out to Recruiter"

Project Building

Work on both small and big projects to demonstrate your capabilities. Highlight these projects on your resume and portfolio.

Links: "Building projects after learning a new concept advice" / "Tips from learning using multiple resources" / "Tips on learning programming with ChatGPT" / "Harvard University Free IT Courses" / "The Udemy courses I use" / "Free Programming Books" / "Coding Advice for beginners" / "800 free Computer Science classes"

Online Presence

Share your learning progress and projects on various platforms like Tumblr, Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn, or YouTube. Employers often appreciate candidates who actively showcase their work and commitment to learning. I made a post for Tumblr coding blogs:

Link: "Codeblr Blog Advice: 8 Blog Coding Post Ideas"

Good luck!!

[sybaritick]

cal sybaritick's

bloodweave fic recs 🧙🏼🧛🏻

I'm pretty sure that over the past few weeks I've read nearly every single Astarion/Gale fanfic on Ao3, and I have great taste, so I am uniquely qualified to recommend them to you. Here is a non-exhaustive list of my favorites!

Overhear More in Changing by ZiGraves

E / 9.6k words / body swap, blood drinking, handjobs / complete

Astarion has the misfortune to wake up inhabiting a body not his own. It’s alive, breathing, warm. Hairy. Oh gods, no. It’s Gale’s.

not only is the power-issues-tinged porn here extremely hot to me, but this is also the best and most interesting depiction of body swapping that i have ever read, with so much great detail on how it would actually feel to experience

Left to your devices by Experimental

E / 4.2k words / teasing, dubious consent, developing relationship / complete

While camped at the Grymforge, Astarion does a murder, and thinks a gift will magically make it all better. Trouble is, he may be right.

a snapshot-style fic of a clever interaction between the two of them, and I enjoyed how it handles the comparison between Astarion's vampirism and Gale's condition that so many have noted

A Cave Edge, A Black Bowl by an orphaned account

E / 2.2k / extremely dubious consent, sensory deprivation, humiliation/degradation / complete

Gale has this bad habit of shutting himself off after a particularly long day and Astarion hates it. All high and mighty he will saunter off towards his tent and engulf it in Darkness, draping it in Zone of Silence. It infuriates Astarion to no end, and so he sets out to let the wizard reap his due reward. Getting into his tent would be effortless. (The first thing he hears are soft, almost whining pants, followed by a high pitched moan.)

this just pushes all of my buttons SO well. gale as a consummate submissive using magic to be his own dom, so to speak... and his insulting astarion for interrupting this little display, "you're wretched," hating it so and yet still clearly getting off to it... delicious!

That Wounded Animal by wxntr

M / 6.4k / character study, manipulation, angst with a happy ending / technically incomplete, but can easily be read as finished

His foolishness is what made him deserve it. That’s the reason Astarion latched onto when the familiar sickness rose in his throat as he spun his pretty web. When guilt or shame creeped in at Gale’s wide, adoring eyes and smile, Astarion reminded himself that if he wasn't the one to take advantage, someone worse would. He was doing Gale a favor, even. The weak would be taken advantage of, and Astarion refused to be the weak. A progression of scenes following Astarion's manipulation of Gale, and the complicated feelings that accompany it.

a rec like this means a lot coming from me because normally I struggle with sad and soft pieces in fics, but this is extremely well done. I'll just quote what I said in my comment on the fic: "the way you write this so that Gale's very weakness is what makes Astarion weak to him! the fact that Gale has the capacity to believe in Astarion's potential goodness despite everything, hell, to believe in anyone's potential goodness, that Gale continues with earnestness regardless-- that is what breaks Astarion's resolve. The fact that anyone can possibly live like that (like Gale does, wearing his heart on his sleeve)-- it's agonizing to someone like Astarion who has seen it proven time and time again that a relationship can only ever be transactional, that there must be the user and the used. That of course Astarion has seen sincerity and naivety before and has brushed it aside easily, but it's the time spent with Gale, the slowly getting to know him, so much longer than he would have for the victims he was forced to bring back to Cazador-- that's what gradually gets to him. And so gradual too, the way you write it."

Unraveling [series] by chogiwonderful_you

E / 17.3k words / undernegotiated kink, cnc, mental health issues & neurodivergence, discussions of past sexual assault, very unhealthy relationships / technically incomplete, but can easily be read as finished

The book reads you as much as you read it. Gale really should have remembered that.

this recommendation comes with the caveat that, as it was written during early access, the author's interpretations of the characters don't truly line up with how I see them now. However, there was no doubt in my mind I was still going to recommend it just for what it is-- the fandom aspect be damned. Everything, down to Gale's guilt about his behavior to him being like "in some sense the mental aspect of this is more erotic to me than the sex to the point where i almost feel separate from my physical body" is so Very Real in a way I feel fanfiction often isn't. Also, the depiction of what I would describe as Gale's hypomania, and later panic attack, is extremely well done.

En Prise by positivejam

E / 20.5k words / manipulation, D/s, petplay (vibes), humiliation/degradation / incomplete

It’s not often Astarion sees his own hunger reflected in another’s eyes. So yearning for a look in the mirror, he can't help but stare. Gale is downright ravenous. He can smell it on him: like some combination of lust, adrenaline, and desperation. Exactly for what, he isn’t sure. But desperate men make for good companions and better bedfellows, so he sinks down next to the wizard with a smile. “Like recognizes like, little mage. You are starving, and I am feeling uncharacteristically charitable. Perhaps we can help each other out.”

if you know this pairing, you know this fic, but I could not possibly leave it out. It is very well written! It is super hot! It's dripping with nasty D/s vibes! Read it!

first date by revoleotion

M / 1.7k words / sincerity, discussions of past sexual assault, angst with a happy ending / complete

It's not Gale's first time. Part of him wishes it were. It's not Astarion's first time. Perhaps that can be a good thing. Astarion and Gale share a drink together. A drink, and a little more.

like I mentioned above, I am usually not the audience for this genre/style of fic, but this author handles the way they discuss their trauma very well-- that they are still a little guarded and awkward, not perfect communicators, not perfect partners.