#weird to make him look younger for the one piece academy setting while still making him look like a post grad student running on kopiko78

[attyattlaw]

belated white day idk

[spencers-renaissance]

Hunger

Summary: Spencer really likes his new coworkers: they're nice, welcoming, friendly, and made his transition to the BAU as easy as possible. Which makes it impossible for him to turn down an invitation to eat dinner with them at an upscale fancy restaurant, no matter how anxious that makes a boy who grew up with next to nothing feel.

Tags: insecurity, anxiety, allusions to poverty, hurt/comfort, team as family, angst with a happy ending, fluff, background jelle

TW: mentions of poverty, financial difficulties, and food insecurity

Pairing: Gen (Aaron Hotchner & Spencer Reid, Derek Morgan & Spencer Reid)

Word Count: 3k

Masterlist // Read on AO3 // Bad Things Happen Bingo

This fills my "trying not to cry" bad things happen bingo square and is set a few weeks after Spencer joins the BAU, in an AU in which Elle was there before him.

Everyone is so nice, is the thing.

And that’s great. Really, it is. Spencer isn’t about to complain when JJ kindly walks him through the filing system all the while asking questions about him and his life, or when Derek ribs him gently about his ducktail hair or his nerdy brain. No-one cuts him off when he gets carried away — unless it’s time-sensitive, of course — or teases him about anything that cuts too close to home. Being the new guy in the most prestigious unit in the FBI could’ve been a nightmare, but this team made it easy. He’s so grateful for all of it.

It just makes it really hard to turn down dinner invitations.

He watches his shaking fingers in the mirror as they button his shirt up and wrap his tie around his neck, poking it fastidiously under the collar, not a wrinkle of fabric out of place. He glances down at the countertop again, re-reading the restaurant name copied down in JJ’s careful handwriting onto a piece of copier paper regardless of having committed it to memory the first time he heard it. Sur la Rivière: a fancy European restaurant in DC.

He’d hoped for a cheap and cheerful Chinese when Hotch had first brought up the idea of a team bonding dinner, something more his style, but he’d smiled anyway when Elle had mentioned this place her foodie friend had recommended, no matter how strained it might have been. He’s the new guy after all. He doesn’t expect much swing when it comes to choosing where to eat.

As soon as his shirt and tie are perfectly in place, he gets to work on taming his curly hair. It makes him look younger when it’s loose and fluffy, and with a baby-face like his combined with already being the youngest person in the entire FBI, every year he can add on counts. Soon, though, there’s no more grooming he can use to stall the inevitable, and he sighs tiredly before clicking off the bathroom light and heading to the hall.

He collects his phone and wallet, checking for the sixth time that evening that his credit card and extra money to tip the waiter is definitely in there, grabs his keys, and heads out of his apartment. Derek is in his car waiting on the curb for him like he promised he would be, looking effortlessly suave and cool in a way Spencer never will as he honks his horn at the sight of the younger man walking towards him.

“Pretty boy!” he calls, his grin making Spencer smile, too. “Took you long enough. Hop in, fancy European cuisine awaits.”

Another rush of nerves floods Spencer’s stomach at the mention of the fate he’s signed up for, but he smiles anyway as he opens the passenger door and slides in. “Thanks for giving me a lift, Derek,” he says, hating that his anxious discomfort is so obvious in his voice.

Thankfully, Derek doesn’t pick him up on it, simply pulling away from the curb and beginning the drive across town. “How many times do I have to tell you not to mention it? I live less than ten minutes away, Spencer, it’s really not a problem.”

Spencer flushes a bit at that, wringing his hands in his lap as he watches the streets of his district pass by out the window. “Well, I appreciate it anyway,” he settles on, flashing Derek a quick smile that he doubts he sees anyway with his eyes glued so firmly to the road. “Riding the metro is a nightmare at this hour.”

“Never learned how to drive? I didn’t have the money for lessons, Spencer wants to say, irrationally frustrated at his situation. I was rushed through the academy too quickly to learn something as trivial as driving.

“I was too busy getting five degrees,” Spencer says instead, forcing a smile on his face. He wishes he wasn’t so well-practiced at managing other people’s emotions; wishes he could say what he’s really thinking. But he can’t, not in front of the people he’s trying to impress, not so soon.

“Alright, alright, I get it, you’re a genius,” Derek chuckles. “I’m glad you’re coming tonight, we all are. Gideon didn’t tell us much before he left, just that you had an IQ of 187 and he’d pulled a lot of strings to get you in at only 22.”

Spencer winces slightly at the mention of his ex-mentor. “Yeah, I’m sorry he ran out on you guys so suddenly.”

“Hey, from what I hear, he did the same to you,” Derek counters. “You guys seemed way closer than we were anyway. I never really liked the guy.”

As much as most of Spencer hates Gideon for abandoning him without warning, leaving him to find his footing in the FBI alone and afraid, a small part of him still itches to defend him. “He was a good mentor. Not such a good friend, as it turns out.”

Derek looks away from the road for a moment and shoots him a sympathetic look. “I’m sorry, man. But Gideon’s loss is our gain. You’re gonna be an amazing asset to the team, I just know it.”

A genuine smile crosses Spencer’s face at that. “Thanks, Derek. I can’t wait to really get stuck in, you know?”

“I remember the feeling.” Derek grins again.

They continue chatting for the rest of the journey, Spencer finally relaxing into the company of a new friend— that is, until Derek cuts across one of his stories from his second PhD. “Hey, the restaurant should be up on the left somewhere but I can’t see it…

“Oh, there,” Spencer says, pointing at the sleek, almost anonymous-looking black sign hanging above a set of fancy doors. How can doors be fancy? They’re supposed to be functional, not pretentious. All of a sudden that sinking feeling that had lifted on the car ride over settles back into his stomach and he can’t help but swallow nervously as Derek parks the car and they step out into the street.

Everyone’s already seated when they finally push through the restaurant doors, and Spencer hates that he made them both late with his apprehensive stalling, but no-one really seems to mind as they all cheer happily at the sight of them, ignoring the dirty looks it earns them from the other patrons.

“You made it!” Penelope squeals as she gets up from her seat to give Spencer a hug. He’s a little touch-averse, really, but something about Penelope’s hugs make him never want to leave her arms. He does anyway, though, and he and Derek find their seats opposite one another at the end of the table.

“I’m glad you’re here, Spencer,” Hotch says kindly as the waitress passes the two late-comers their menus.

“You’ll fit right in,” JJ promises, “we’re like a weird little family, to be honest.”

Spencer flushes a bit under the attention of so many experienced FBI agents, but he nods anyway before they all get started on deciding what to eat. He listens vaguely to everyone talking amongst themselves, giving one another suggestions in a way that corroborates JJ’s statement, and all of a sudden Spencer’s collar feels tight. It’s not just the nerves of meeting new people or the anxiety of an alien social environment, he realises he doesn’t recognise a single item on the menu.

He knows what the words themselves mean, but reading the words 'tortellini of venison’ and trying to imagine deer meat pasta is not easily done. The only simple meals seem to be seafood and Spencer’s never been a fan of fish. The only food he can even begin to imagine himself actually putting in his mouth, chewing, and swallowing is the porterhouse steak: not that he’s ever really eaten much red meat like that.

Spencer isn’t a fussy eater. He’s eaten a wide variety of dishes from any number of different restaurants across multiple cuisines, he’s just never had the kind of money to eat at a place that serves caviar, for God’s sake. Far too soon, the waitress wanders back over to the table, taking everyone’s orders with a polite smile on her face.

He listens as everyone confidently orders their meals: the smoked trout, the Moroccan quail, the lobster tagliatelle. Spencer thanks the heavens he isn’t a vegetarian, at least, but it’s not much of a consolation prize when everyone’s eyes fall on him.

“Uh, I’ll have the porterhouse steak,” he says uncertainly, hoping nobody notices the sweat beading on his forehead or the anxiety raging behind his eyes.

Everyone seems to accept his answer, the waitress taking their menus and walking back towards the kitchen as the rest of them resume their conversation. Hotch’s eyes linger a moment too long on him, and Spencer thinks he sees something like concern in his gaze, but before he can think much of it, Penelope’s drawing everyone’s attention to JJ’s bracelet.

“Can we please appreciate this?” she says, sounding scandalised for some reason Spencer can’t quite discern from context yet. “Elle, baby, you have taste. This is absolutely gorgeous! Are you sure you don’t want to date me, too?”

Spencer’s eyebrows raise slightly at that. “Oh, you two are together?” he asks, although now that he realises it he’s not sure how he didn’t notice sooner.

“Are you sure you’re a profiler, kid?” Derek laughs. “They don’t exactly hide it.

“Even though they’re supposed to,” Hotch chimes in with a faux stern look. “You two are gonna have my job at some point.” “Aw, but where would we find another Unit Chief that would help us hide our secret so well?” Elle says charmingly, making everyone laugh, including JJ, who presses her face into her shoulder fondly.

It’s easy for Spencer to momentarily lose himself in the banter, smiling as they tease one another, interspersing their gripes and funny stories from work among it all. They include him in all of it, and he doesn’t feel left out for even a second, finally relaxing into the unfamiliar environment of a fancy restaurant, eased by the reassuring company of his new team.

“JJ’s right,” he muses out loud when there’s a brief lull in conversation, “you guys really are like a little family.”

JJ leans away from Elle towards him for a moment, wrapping him in a side hug. “And you’re the perfect addition to it, Spence,” she says softly, everyone’s expressions reading nothing but fond agreement. “We needed a little brother to add into the mix.”

Spencer blushes again but leans into her touch.

No-one gets a chance to say anything else before the food arrives, the servers bringing JJ and Elle’s meals first, then serving Hotch and Penelope, before they finally bring out his and Derek’s order.

Everyone dives into their food, immediately making noises of contentment, passing bites around to one another, but Spencer can’t join in the jubilant celebration of a good meal. He picks his knife and fork up shakily as he stares at the massive portion of steak in front of him. It’s served with roast potatoes and flecks of a pointless salad that he suspects is only there as a garnish rather than actually part of the meal, but that’s not what has him worried.

This huge slab of meat hasn’t been sliced beforehand. He knows that he’ll shake the whole table if he tries to do it: it’s a massive, impenetrable slab of red meat that Spencer has no chance of enjoying, let alone finishing. He stares at it as tears burn in his eyes: he’s so out of his comfort zone and he’s so terrified of messing up and pushing away these newfound friends that he can’t move.

“Spence?” JJ cuts in gently, putting a hand on his shoulder, forcing him to look up, only to find everyone looking at him with worried expressions on their faces. “Are you okay?”

“Sorry,” he says, standing up abruptly, the disturbance of the table barely registering in his brain. “I just need a minute.”

He rushes out of the restaurant without looking back, drawing in deep breaths as soon as he’s in the cool evening air of spring. Thoughts race through his mind at a million miles an hour as he grasps for something concrete to grab onto, eventually settling for a tall flower pot.

“Spencer?”

He looks up to find Hotch standing next to him, deep concern written across his face, and Spencer’s heart clenches at the thought that he’s already messed this up so quickly. Could this night possibly get any worse?

Apparently, it can, because all of a sudden he feels his face crumple and the stinging tears finally spill down his cheeks. He sinks down to the ground and buries his face in his hands, humiliation glimmering in every cell of his body.

“Oh, Spencer,” Hotch says gently, lowering himself to the cool pavement next to him and placing a warm hand on his back. He lets him cry it out for a couple of minutes, his palm drawing small circles in between his shoulder blades, trying again to get through to him when Spencer’s sobs calm down slightly. “You want to tell me what’s going on?”

With a shuddering breath, he forces himself to lift his face from his palms, although he still refuses to meet Hotch’s eyes, keeping his gaze fixed firmly on the Korean restaurant across the street. “I guess it just all got to be too much,” he whispers.

“Yeah?” Hotch says encouragingly. “What specifically?”

“I— I didn’t have much growing up. It was just me and my mom so we were living in the middle of Vegas on a single disability check each month. And, uh, then I went to college, and I was barely scraping by there, too. It’s only recently that I’ve known the luxury of knowing for sure I was eating that night, and it still gets to me sometimes when I’m faced with fancy restaurants and heavy, expensive meals. My body’s had to work for years on virtually nothing, there’s no way I can stomach a steak like that. I guess, all those feelings that are a lifetime in the making combined with the anxiety of eating with the team for the first time… wanting to make a good impression, it just all got too much. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

Hotch raises a hand, and Spencer finally meets his eyes, finding nothing but compassion and understanding there no matter how much he searches. “You don’t need to apologise, Spencer, not for something like this. I’m sorry that none of us thought to make the first team dinner with you a more casual affair, and I’m even more sorry that you felt like you couldn’t tell us you were uncomfortable.” “It’s okay.”

“It’s not, but I’m glad you accept my apology,” Hotch says, smiling softly. “You know, we all bring baggage with us, Spencer. I can’t relate to food insecurity, but I had my own issues when I first joined the BAU. I grew up with a pretty terrible father, and the thing I found myself reprimanded for the most when I was a new recruit was the inability to follow orders. I’d spent my whole life scared of this man, obeying his every word, and I couldn’t help but hear him when my superiors would tell me to do something. When I was finally free of him, it was like I couldn’t help but rebel.

“You’re not the only one whose childhood follows them around, and I’d much rather it be something like this that we can easily manage, than something that will affect you or the team in the field, okay? Instead of beating yourself up over things you can’t control, try and remember that you have a whole new family who will do anything they can to make you feel as comfortable as possible. We already think the world of you, Spencer. Sacrificing fancy dinners that — let’s face it — can’t beat cheap junk food anyway is hardly a big ask.

Warmth spreads across his chest at Hotch’s words, replacing the feelings of failure and rising anxiety with something that feels like a promise of all the good to come. There’s something fatherly, something deeply paternal in Hotch that there wasn’t in Gideon, and it’s the most comfort Spencer’s felt in years. “Really?”

“Really,” Hotch nods, squeezing his shoulder gently. “You wait here one minute, okay?”

“Okay…” Hotch is gone before he can finish replying, and Spencer is left staring at the doors confused, until the rest of the team are piling out of them a few minutes later, Hotch bringing up the rear with his jacket and wallet in hand.

“We just paid the tab. How does cheap Chinese food eaten in the park a couple hundred yards down sound?” Hotch suggests, raising an eyebrow as he smiles warmly at Spencer.

He looks around briefly at the rest of the team, who are all giving him encouraging looks, not a trace of judgement or annoyance to be found.

“That sounds amazing,” he laughs wetly, the tears springing to his eyes this time caused by a completely different emotion. “I can pay you back, though.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, pretty boy,” Derek says, patting Spencer’s back, “we’ve got it. Now, come on, I’m gonna order sweet and sour chicken balls, and I want them now.”

“That’s what she said,” Penelope giggles, linking her arm with Derek’s.

“That was terrible, baby girl, but I love that you tried.”

“Do you want to share shrimp chop suey with me, babe?” Elle asks JJ as they clasp hands, walking a couple of steps ahead of them.

“Well, I’m certainly not sharing with any of these losers,” JJ teases, before kissing Elle’s cheek.

Spencer feels Hotch place his hand on his back, and he turns to smile gratefully at the older man. “Thank you,” he says quietly, trying to convey just how earnestly he means it. “No-one’s ever done anything this nice for me before.”

There’s a slightly sad tinge to Hotch’s smile, but it doesn’t look like pity. “I’d get used to it if I were you. That’s just how we do things in the BAU.”

Well, if that’s the case, Spencer thinks, smiling as he falls into step between Hotch and Penelope, I think I might just stick around.

taglist: @criminalmindsvibez @suburban--gothic @strippersenseii @takeyourleap-of-faith @negativefouriq @makaylajadewrites @iamrenstark @hotchseyebrows @temily @jellejareau @reidology @spencerspecifics @bau-gremlin @tobias-hankel @garcias-bitch @oliverbrnch @physics-magic @sbeno22 @im-autistic-not-stupid(taglist form)

[frederickthegreat]

my thoughts on TUA season 2

(spoilers, obviously)

- opened with Klaus and Ben, my kings. Klaus’s hair looks so weird straightened while short 

- AWESOME opening soundtrack 

- seeing all their powers so controlled makes me wonder how they leveled up to that skill in the alternate timeline. like the only time we saw Klaus use the powers of other ghosts in the correct timeline was when two of them caught him falling out of the sky. however Diego did end up controlling bullets and Allison used her voice to technically kill one of the Swedes

- the homeless man screaming Allison’s name alongside Luther... funny shit

- big teddy bear Hazel

- Elliot was fucking awesome i think he was a great addition as a side character. rip tho :(

- honestly i don’t understand why Diego would WANT to save JFK. like it’s not that big of a deal. does he not understand what messing with the timeline can do??

- Lila... impeccable

- Sissy and Vanya... impeccable <3

- yeah and fuck u Carl

- ugh, Klaus’s beard. disgusting <3

- Ben and Klaus definitely act like they should be, given that they’ve been stuck with each other for over a decade. i’ve seen some people calling Klaus an asshole for not telling his siblings about Ben, which is completely understandable (cause he was an asshole), but I’m guessing it was because he was afraid? that sharing Ben with his siblings would mean that he would lose him to them, or his siblings would find him selfish, or they would ask something of him that he couldn’t give. if that makes sense

- that ghost bitch comment was funny tho 

- to the guy who called Klaus pretty boy at the bar: sir you don’t know what you’re getting into

- Raymond!! he’s such a sweetheart, i really liked him in the show. i’m really happy that Allison has found a bit of normalcy (as normal as the 1960s Civil Rights movement could be). it shows how passionate she is about what she believes in: even though she knows the movement is far from over, even back in 2019, she’s not gonna abandon it

- Allison staring at the moon every night: either thinking about Luther or how the moon blows them all up. maybe both

- of course Luther would be working for Jack Ruby

- awesome cinematography during the mental asylum escape 

- yeah it makes sense that the Handler would still be alive. she was a cool villain. although it would’ve been awesome to see how evil a fish could be

- Diego’s plan was pretty stupid. that’s my boy

- honestly they revealed how Klaus started a cult really well by having one of his followers find him at jail. Klaus, ever the musical aficionado, of course writes his scripture based off of pop songs

- Raymond and Klaus meeting!! that was cool to see how their paths connected

- Lila painting Elliot’s toenails green. ugh i love that crazy bitch

- i LOVE how they incorporated the umbrella man!! tbh i’ve always believed he was the one behind the assassination. Lee Harvey Oswald was framed 

- honestly a bit understandable that Luther was planning on killing Vanya? cause he had no idea who she is now, but them reuniting was actually really sweet. he’s grown up so much

- the Swedes and their cats.

- the Umbrella company building with the nuclear family mannequins... creepy, awesome shit

- baby pogo baby pogo baby pogo baby pogo

- shanked diego shanked diego shanked diego shanked diego

- did anyone else get vibes from Klaus’s episode opening that he was an escort to the old woman? like how he was being shown off at her arm or something and getting out of jail from a call from the governor. idk maybe the lady was just very taken with him, as anyone would be

- Elliot, our helpful king

- Allison and Klaus’s reunion was so sweet!! i’m so glad they got to interact so much more in this season 

- Ben getting Raymond out through a haunting... hilarious

- sweet intimate moment between Lila and Diego

- Ray meeting Luther was hilarious, but i do feel for the poor guy. i mean i’m not in love with my adoptive sister but still

- the sit-in was really well done and beautiful while terrible. the ‘riot’ that ensued was very appropriate for today’s setting 

- D-Dave

- honestly i was scared that Klaus was gonna be overly attracted to him or whatever, which would be weird cause he’s years younger than Klaus, but honestly, at the core he just wanted to save Dave’s life. even if it means never meeting him in a different timeline. he truly loved Dave. and that ptsd flashback was done so well

- i knew Lila wasn’t trustworthy but i didn’t REALLY expect that! 

- Vanya and Luther talking with each other, Luther admitting the apocalypse wasn’t all her fault. beautiful

- the Majestic 12 reminds me of the conspiracy theory that only a few families control basically everything in the world. the Majestic 12 may be based off of that, idk

- idk about everyone else but Klaus’s scorpion and the frog story made total sense to me! frogs ARE bitches

- the diner scene.... ugh. it really shows that the two of them did fall in love and they did stupid in love things, like talking about their family, about why Dave wanted to join, favorite colors, favorite foods, etc. however that’s seen later on when Dave visits the compound

- yes it’s very disheartening when Klaus is attacked, but honestly i think it had to happen, just like the riot had to happen. the 60s weren’t a fun time for lgbt people and poc. it was only going to be a matter of time before the show HAD to acknowledge the consequences of Klaus’s ‘flamboyancy’ in 1963 Texas. it doesn’t make it right or easy to see, but it’s realistic. 

- it also makes sense that Klaus fell off the wagon after experiencing something like that. yes we all would’ve liked him to stay sober, but sobriety and recovery aren’t linear. 

- Allison is so happy with Ray can we please drop this pseudo-incest plotline let’s MOVE ON 

- Texas Grace ! who is not actually Grace rip (i think? i was a bit confused lol)

- the scene with Harlan running off was really upsetting but we got to see those weird light particles that we saw in the first season

- Pogo Pogo Pogo Pogo

- Klaus being a dick to Ben again, as brothers do. i do feel bad for Ben though it must be sooo frustrating. that scene with him and Allison was really sweet and funny tho

- i just have to say that Luther and Diego are so fucking funny this season it’s awesome. like there are a LOT of good lines overall by everyone but they’re hilarious. “At least he didn’t shank my ass” “no bro, he shanked your heart”“Dads part of a sinister CABAL that’s plotting on killing the president.” “a caBAL?”“You two still a thing? *leans in* do we need to talk?” “No, she’s married.” “Woah dude... that’s rough.” and countless others

- the sibling reunion!! 

- Klaus really does get left out of everything tbh

- Ben :(

- sisters and Klaus!! that was so awesome to see. and Klaus’s hairpins, Vanya saying she’s gonna tell Sissy she loves her, their dance sequence, Klaus calling Allison out on that incest. beautiful

- the fucking Swedish cover of Hello was PERFECT i mean i was sad for the Swedes but it was hilarious. there were a couple beautiful shots of the boat on fire though

- god it must’ve been so traumatizing for Allison to be thrust into such a hostile place with no voice and no way to contact her family

-  idk about you guys but long live Team Zero

- calling Ben that he was becoming their father was a bit uncalled for 

- the fact that Klaus didn’t help Dave’s chances, and in fact escalated Dave’s own timeline.. his trembling hands... robert sheehan is an amazing actor

- the Black president bit lmaoo loved it

- the way Reginald spoke to Diego.. i’m gonna throw hands with an old man

- Klaus LITERALLY looked like he was having a seizure and they all just... played it off?? 

- poor, poor Carl. nah fuck him lol

- that bloody opening scene was awesome! and thank god Five got to say fuck. the fact that it was about a candy bar makes too much sense

- Robert Sheehan acting as Ben: amazing showstopping spectacular he’s so talented

- the whole multiple Fives and Luther bit was honestly really funny, and i immensely respect smaller Five over bigger Five. 

- yes Klaus, you survived a family of seven. you got this

- not sad about Carl dying one bit!

- Ben... that was such a beautiful scene. not just the content of the scene, but the cinematography. Ben fading away... Vanya hugging him... ugh. the main takeaway i had from that scene is that at the core of it all, Ben and Klaus love each other immensely. they have a weird, dysfunctional, fucked up relationship, where Klaus is an asshole and Ben definitely shouldn’t of possessed him without his consent, but they’re still brothers, and Ben forgives him. 

- oof Ben’s funeral was hard. also was it just me or did Klaus’s kid actor sound weird? like it sounded like Robert was dubbing his lines 

- all the siblings back together again!!!! Klaus going with Vanya to save Harlan!! Vanya telling him Ben forgives him and that it wasn’t Klaus’s fault Ben got stuck with him!! everyone in the car!!! be still my beating heart

- yeah didn’t see Lila having powers coming tbh. i really feel bad for her she’s had such a rough and traumatic life, especially with the Handler as her only parental figure

- the Swede brother and Five putting down their weapons: “enough.” the Swede wanted revenge for his brothers - an eye for an eye, but there was a mutual understanding between the two of them: they would do anything for their family. if the Swede hurts one of the Hargreeves, Five would never stop coming after him. i thought it was very beautiful 

- mmm Reggie’s foreshadowing coming into play. proud of u Five

- the ending was so beautiful. everyone got closure in some type of way. except now Klaus is alone with nothing but his dog tags :(

- EMO BEN HAHAHA WTFFF?? is Lila in the sparrow academy? why was Ben’s portrait over the mantle piece? did Five disappear?? is the sparrow academy just older versions of the siblings who stuck around?? so many questions

FINAL THOUGHTS

- Ellen Page’s acting consistently blows me away. she is amazing 

- beautiful cinematography, funny writing, pretty good acting. i didn’t like the soundtrack as much as i did the first season’s, but some of it wasn’t bad.

- i’m glad ben got peace, but i’m also glad justin min isn’t gone for good. his social media presence is too vital for us

- i swear to god if they keep treating klaus as a joke and don’t let him get any actual development like everyone else had (he barely got closure with Dave, he reconciled with Ben through a second party) next season, i’m gonna riot. PLEASE i want to learn more about his powers now that Ben is gone. what happened to seeing tons of ghosts when he’s sober??

- Luther and Diego were probably my favorite duo of the season, I’m so happy that they’ve reconciled and are bonding more. 

- just seeing Vanya grow and be happy was amazing 

all in all, really wonderful season. i probably liked it better than the first one. now it’s time to consume fanfiction and maybe finish my own (check out “god doesn’t want him and neither does the devil” on ao3!)

[angst-fairygodmother]

Hi, I have a Diego x reader request if you’re still taking them. Reader stays over at Diego’s after a date with him and wakes up in the Morning to find a drunk Five asleep on the couch. Reader is uninitiated into the Hargreeves stuff so is supremely confused as to who this drunk child is. Awkward family introductions ensue. Thanks in advance if you write this

A/N: I probably shouldn’t be taking requests with everything else going on right now, but it will be a cold day in hell the day stress and work/school take away writing from me again. Also, Five is my newest Favorite, so I am happy to include his shenaniganary. Although it ended up not so much being drunk Five as Roastmaster Five. Still, I hope you like it. Word Count: 1404 Content Warning: swearing, reference to alcohol, references to season 2

The morning sun’s rays peeking through the only mostly-closed curtain fell gently across your face, their warmth and light stirring you from the most beautiful dream. Stretching languidly, you cracked open your eyes to discover that perhaps it had been less a dream than you thought. Curled up on his side, facing away from you, was Diego Hargreeves, snoring softly and more at peace than you had ever seen him.

It was a sight you could certainly find yourself getting used to, and you hoped you’d have the opportunity. The two of you had only been dating for a month or so, and were still getting to know each other in many ways (including the way you had spent quite a bit of the night…getting to know each other for the first time, which had led you to this very moment). So you didn’t want to get your hopes up, but you could really feel yourself falling for the man just barely waking beside you.

Unfortunately, any romantic thoughts you might have had were interrupted by biological needs, and with a sigh, you rolled out of bed feet touching the cold hardwood floor as you searched for something to put on, not comfortable enough in his place to walk around completely naked. Fumbling, you shrugged on his too-large turtleneck and padded out into the rest of the apartment.

Almost immediately, your eyes fell on a peculiar sight, that definitely wasn’t there the night before.

Hey, um, Diego?” you called over your shoulder, staring openly at the child asleep on his couch. “Why is there a teenager on your couch…?” you peered a little closer, registering the nearly empty glass bottle in his arms. “And who replaced his teddy bear with Smirnoff?”

“Dammit Five,” you heard him growl as he stumbled out of the bedroom, still buttoning his jeans.

“Oh good, so you know him?” you asked, still wide-eyed and curious as you turned back to your boyfriend.

“Yeah,” he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “That’s my brother, Five.”

“Five? Like the number?”

“Yes like the number,” the annoyed voice startled you and you jumped, not realizing the teen in question had woken up. “Now could you two keep your imbecilic chatter down, I am trying to sleep.”

“You wanna tell me why you’re doing it on my couch?” Diego countered, glaring over your shoulder at Five, who flipped him off and slammed a pillow down over his head to muffle the sound of conversation.

“Why is your brother named after a number?” you asked, trying to keep your voice a little lower.

“We all were,” Five chimed in, voice slightly muffled by the cushion. “The others just chose to replace their numbers when our mother and monkey butler-slash-surrogate-father-figure gave them ‘real’ names when we got older. I chose not to. Because I am not ashamed of who we were.”

“Sorry what?”

“Oh did you not know you were dating Number Two?” the kid sat up, casting you a very uncomfortably judgmental look.

“I would be careful getting involved with this idiot,” he continued. “His last two girlfriends, one ended up dead and the other turned out to be evil.”

“Hey! She wasn’t totally evil, only…sort of,” Diego said, moving to stand protectively in front of you and jabbing a finger toward his brother. “And if anything, that was your fault, not mine. Which is why I was planning to keep you and our entire bullshit family away from Y/N for as long as possible.”

“Diego, I don’t understand,” you said, frowning. “What’s going on?”

“That’s right, I forget that you didn’t grow up around here,” Diego commented softly. “Did you ever hear about The Umbrella Academy?”

“Sure. That was that weirdo superhero family or whatever, occasionally showed up in the news or tabloids after some stunt why?”

Diego looked glum and a little sheepish as he waited for you to put the pieces together like he knew you would.

…oh shit. You mean, you’re…?”

He nodded.

“I’ll be honest, I never really paid attention to all that stuff, it seemed sort of…fake? to me. So I still don’t totally get what’s going on, babe.”

Diego sighed, and then gave you the rundown of their family: how they had all been born at the exact same time down to the second, to different parents around the world, and then they were adopted as infants by eccentric billionaire Reginald Hargreeves. They all had superpowers and Hargreeves had raised them to be an efficient crime-fighting team, at the cost of normal childhoods.

“Five,” he continued, pointing to his brother who was now, seemingly at least, back asleep. “Had the power to teleport, and kept pushing our father to let him try time-travelling with it. When he got shut down for the last time, he tried anyway, and ended up stuck in the post-apocalypse for forty something years before he found his way back.”

“So you want me to believe that the strange drunk teenage boy is actually your 58-year-old twin brother? But you’re not 58, just he is. Because he time travelled?”

“W-we’re not twins. We were just born on the same day.”

“Right…like twins?”

“No, at the exact same time, to different parents. Us, and a lot of other kids.”

“That’s not all that strange. People are born at the same time all the time…”

“She’s not very quick on the uptake is she? Perfect for you then,” Five commented with a smug smirk, evidently giving up on sleep in favor of joining you both in the kitchen.

“Hey!” you shouted, glaring at the littler man. “I didn’t come here to be insulted, okay.”

“No, I’m sure my brother had plenty of other things on his mind than insulting you,” he said, angling his head pointedly, with a raised eyebrow at your very bare legs, which you had frankly forgotten about in all the kerfuffle.

You felt the heat of a blush creeping up around your ears.

“I’m not awake enough to deal with this. I need coffee,” you muttered.

Five perked up at the word, watching you intently as you carefully measured out the grounds and set the pot, which Diego owned despite claiming that his body was in such peak condition that he didn’t need caffeine, to brew. When you silently poured a cup for the younger Hargreeves without asking, and it actually tasted rather decent, he regarded you again with renewed interest.

“What do you see in him?”

“What do you mean?” you studied him over the rim of your mug, not even noticing that Diego had left the room.

“You’re quite pretty, and obviously aren’t in it for the ex-celebrity thing since you didn’t know. Seven billion people on the planet. So why him?”

You sat there for a while, sipping at your coffee, pondering the question. Why had you agreed to go out with Diego in the first place? It had only been a month, but it felt like a lifetime ago for all that you could remember the reasoning.

Finally you shrugged. “I don’t know. There’s just something about him I liked, I guess. He’s always looking out for other people, and he’s sweet, and funny.”

“And he’s got a real nice butt,” you muttered into your coffee, smirking when Five made a disgusted face.

“Ugh!” he cried, setting his coffee down as if another sip after your observation would make him hurl.

“Hey, you asked,” you laughed.

Diego wrapped his arms around you from behind, having come back from getting fully dressed, kissing your cheek as you both watched Five pace and wave his hands around as if trying to fan away the image in his mind.

“I think you broke him,” Diego commented.

You chuckled again, turning to drape your arms over his neck and kiss him properly.

“I couldn’t resist. But I like this kid, he’s…interesting.”

“And you held your own against him impressively.”

You smiled.

“So does that mean I get to meet the rest of your siblings soon?”

“You still want to after that?”

You nodded. “Of course I do, Diego. They’re your family.”

He smiled softly down at you, eyes shining at your unspoken confession, that you wanted to share every part of his life, even the weird bits. And even more, heart feeling strangely fluttery at the fact that he found himself wanting to let you.

“I’ll make a few calls.”

[nobody-wants-ice-cream]

Everything Wrong With The Umbrella Academy. Episode 7, The Day That Was.

We Only See Each Other at Weddings and Funerals

Run Boy Run

Extra Ordinary

Man on the Moon

Number Five

The Day That Wasn’t

Disclaimer: This is all in good fun! I wanted to do a really nitpicky re-watch of the series and found some really cool and interesting things I didn’t notice before. This is meant to have a Cinema Sins-esque tone. However, I did take off a lot more sins than Cinema Sins would have because I do genuinely like the series and the people that made it possible. So all of the good things got one sin off and all the bad things got one sin added. This is a really long post, so grab some popcorn. If there’s anything that I missed, feel free to add it!

I would also like to add that normally you wouldn’t watch a show this way. I am purposefully looking for mistakes, easter eggs, and other things that we’re not supposed to notice. I am watching not with the goal of entertainment, but for analysis. So most of the things that I sin, I am seeing for the first time.

Also, no I can’t do better. I am in no way qualified to give this level of criticism about anything.

[Look out for the fic challenge at the end! I’m tagging @tehmoonofficial @seven-misfits @princenewton @tua-koffee and anyone else who wants to try it. Tag other people if you would like!]

The Day That Was

The use of “One is the Loneliest Number” by Three Dog Night implies that this is Luther’s birth. I know that that isn’t what they’re trying to convey so this is a very weird song choice. It would be way too on the nose if it was Luther, but it would fit so well. In fact, before Pogo said that it was the culmination of a normal pregnancy, I thought it was Luther when I was first watchin it.Point is, scoring is important. +1

No one is attending to this mother which is why she dies. Seriously, if just one person in that room was with Harold’s mother then any problems would have been noticed far earlier. I know this show likes to kill off women to further the plot, but this one happens to be excessively stupid. +2

There’s a woman in scrubs who doesn’t appear to be sterile in the room. Even Harold’s father is sterile. For those who don’t know, I’m talking about a lack of germs. +1

Harold playing with the Umbrella Academy action figures is adorable and makes sense. However, why the hell would his abusive father buy these for him? Something doesn’t add up. Where did he get these from? Did he steal them? In that case, stealing is bad. Sin still stands. +1

Dr. Terminal better appear in season 2. -1

Ben’s action figure includes the horror. This makes sense, but then how did Ben pose for this? Did he just sort of stand like that and let the sculptor take liberties with what the horror looked like? How were these modeled and designed? +1

“Put those stupid dolls away and go get me a beer” obvious abusive father is obvious. +7

Also, abusive fathers. +7

I didn’t notice that Harold’s house is the same as Leonard’s house when I first watched it because of the change in angle and lighting. This is clever. -1

Has anyone taken a good look at the Klaus action figure? That thing looks ridiculous! +1

Harold stops to look at a comic now and not later when his Dad isn’t demanding a beer. Then again, I am questioning the logic skills of a thirteen-year-old. So this sin is once again for the abusive dick for for not letting Harold be a child. +1

Seriously, where did Harold get all this stuff? Merch is expensive. And so are suit jackets. And tape. And a whole bunch of his supplies. +1

Seance seems pretty popular. Good. I love Klaus. But there is no indication that he did anything during missions, so why do these people love him? Show me his charisma or something? Give young Klaus a scene that shows why the people love him. +1

Are these barriers only there after missions? And if this is normal enough that there are barriers, then why aren’t there more people hounding the academy when Five runs away for example? How famous are these kids? +1

Harold you poor child. He even packed a bag and everything. Reggie is not better than your abusive father. Sin for Harold’s father and for Reggie. +2

No one stops Harold from jumping over the barrier. Not even the other fans saying something like “dude don’t do that”. Nothing. Who is enforcing these barriers? +1

Luther walked out of the car first and now he’s behind Allison. Since when does Luther have Five’s power?+1

Allison looks really uncomfortable. How many grabby fans has this young girl had to deal with? +1

Eden Cupid plays this really well. -1

How many grabby fans has Eden Cupid had to deal with?? +1

Reggie orders Harold behind the barricades. So is it Reggie enforcing it? Or what? +1

If it’s the academy enforcing it through Reggies orders then why didn’t Diego, Klaus, or Ben stop Harold? Or does this not matter because Luther was in front of them? This is confusing. Where is everybody? +1

Reggie is a dick. “You have no power”. Is that really the best way to deal with the situation? A better man may have said something like “You may not have powers but that doesn’t mean you aren't special. Run along now.” But then again, this is the same dick that drugged his daughter because he couldn’t control her powers so yeah. Fuck you, Reggie. +3

In the wide shot, Harold’s suitcase disappeared and some policemen magically appeared out of thin air. +1

Why are all these people laughing at Harold? After what Reggie just said there should be outrage? What the hell, people? +1

Some of these people include grown ass adults. +1

Reggie manhandles Harold and no one questions this. +1

Second hand embarrassment and shame. I really feel for this kid. -1

Where are the little umbrella mounts that the action figures are supposed to be standing on in this establishing shot of Harold’s collection? We see them on the collection in the academy. Is this supposed to imply that Harold stole them? I am confused. +1

We can see a piece of paper that has the words Klaus and Harold written on it in different colored crayon. Set designers, you win this one. -1

Why are the action figures going by their names instead of their hero names? It’s been established based on the posters the people had behind the barricades that “The Seance” and “Spaceboy” exist. So why the real names? If it’s because Harold is desperate for friends then the sin also applies. +1

In a close shot we can see that Harold must have taken those platforms off and glued them to this construction paper based on a weird deformity on Five’s foot. Sin still stands because Harold ruined those. In fact, I’ll add another sin, because this doesn’t explain how he separated them. If it was an exacto knife then sin for letting a child handle that. +1

Harold makes collages of the academy kids faces. Cute and a good set design choice. -1

You can see the moment when Harold decides to kill his father. That is some great acting, Jesse Noah Gruman. -1

You know, for all we rag on Harold for killing his abusive father, there are a surprising amount of fics in which the Hargreeves siblings kill their abusive father. Either we’re cool with killing abusive fathers or we aren’t, fandom. +1

Speaking of, we often use “cool motive, still murder” to describe this scene. But no one has a problem with the amount of people Five killed. +1

Harold got twelve years in jail even though there were signs of abuse. He had a bruise on his face! Any lawyer should have been able to get Harold out of jail. Even a public defender can’t deny this evidence. Harold should have pled guilty and he would have gotten a lighter, if no sentence at all. [I am not a lawyer, do not take this as legal advice. This is based on various crime shows and some law youtube channels. Also, don’t kill people.] +1

Why was Harold following Klaus? Popular theories include wanting to kill him or use him the way he uses Vanya. I am sinning this because it remains unclear. +1

The Leonard/Harold reveal is beautifully executed. This is how you do a plot twist. -1

Reggie refers to Klaus by name and by 00.04 in his journal. Why the inconsistency? If you know his name, why not use it all the time, Reggie? +1

In 2001, the kids were twelve. Reggie locked Klaus in the mausoleum as young as 12 and probably younger if the credit for 8 year old Klaus is anything to go by. +4

Reggie’s notes say that Klaus is resistant to this. No fucking shit, a child is resistant to facing their greatest fears with no support. +4

Title screen is on the umbrella in Reggie’s journal. Classy. -1

Five tosses Allison’s coffee behind him when he’s done with it. This goes back to his Apocalypse days, but you would think that sort of thing was frowned upon in the Commission. Or was really obvious during any missions he had as an assassin. Why is he doing this? +1

At the end of episode 6, Five slurps the coffee but here there is no slurp after “Who the hell is Harold Jenkins?”. +1

Leonard hears Five saying that he [Harold] is responsible for the apocalypse. This does not alarm Leonard in any way and he continues stealing Hargreeves’s action figure. +1

Also, Harold Jenkins happens to be in the academy right now as they’re talking about trying to find him. Choke on that irony. +1

Repeat scene shows no indication that the information Harold just got changed his reactions in any way. You would think that he would show a little fear or something? +1

Five isn’t treating his injury despite the fact that it’s causing him obvious pain and he has access to Grace and an infirmary because plot? They could easily have this chat in the infirmary while Five is getting stitched up. Five has been shown treating his injuries and does seem to possess more than half a brain cell, so not taking care of the shrapnel wound is a weird deviation in his character. +3

Speaking of brain cells, thank goodness Allison has one because she is the one asking relevant questions here. -1

Klaus and Diego are still pissed at Five for getting drunk while Hazel and Cha Cha attacked the mansion. Good job with the consistency in character motivation, writers. -1

“Temps Commission.” Maybe season 2 will give us the Temps Aeternalis. +1

Aidan Gallagher’s delivery is okay, but not stellar. I think it’s the tone that’s off. I think I’m judging him too harshly. This is hard to deliver because it’s an exposition dump seven out of ten episodes in. So this sin goes to the writers for making these paragraphs- not lines, paragraphs- that deliver information the viewer already knows. At this point, cut the scene short or show Vanya and Leonard again so we can skip the second Commission lecture. +1

And the reactions that Diego, Allison, and Luther have are so varied because they have such different levels of understanding. Allison, who knows the least, asks “What do you mean, protect time and space?” This level of info dumping this late is dumb. +1

“I look like a thirteen year old boy.” No you don’t. Real thirteen year olds do not look like fifteen year old Aidan Gallagher. For example, look up what Gallagher looked like when he was actually thirteen. +1

“Klaus talks to the dead” oh so we’re just stating the obvious now. Who wrote this scene? +1

How does Five know Claire’s name? Just one shot of a magazine in his apocalypse bunker was all we needed. The magazine that says Patrick and Claire are doing just fine without Allison would have made perfect sense. +1

If we don’t get Five and Claire meeting at some point istg. Sin until they meet.+1

Once again, Luther the moon and the apocalypse are connected, just not in the way you think. Reggie, you suck. +1

“Klaus you’re with me.” Diego and Klaus make a great team. -1

Five’s face when Klaus says he’s feeling under the weather. Considering Five’s injury, this makes sense for the character. -1

Five gives that look to Klaus. Five, you’re hiding a life threatening wound for no reason. You don’t have room to judge. +1

The old man walk looks ridiculous. Five is so obviously injured and Allison and Luther, who watch as Klaus, Diego, and Five walk away, don’t notice this odd walk. +1

We follow Hazel instead of Cha Cha because their story in this episode isn’t affected by Five’s time travel decision. However, the only part of this story we need is the part at the end of the episode. +1

Diego is driving, Five has shotgun, and Allison is in the back. They totally fought over who would sit where. That scene would have been way more interesting than the Hazel and Cha Cha repeat scene. Also, I kind of want to write about that fight now. You know Five wanted to drive. And that when Diego insisted on driving so he and Allison wouldn’t get in trouble for letting a minor drive or something like that, Allison and Five fought over the passenger's side seat. Well adjusted or not, fighting over that seat is what siblings do. +1

Allison, you could just waltz in there and ask for it. Don’t suggest that plan if you aren’t going to do that. +1

Five’s power or Allison’s power would be very useful, yet Diego choses to get the file himself. This wastes valuable time. And Five is okay with that. +1

Five refers to his powers as “blink” not “jump” which is what the fandom has been calling it. +1

Five has not slept at all in a couple days. And he’s making decisions about the end of the world. +1

Diego “made a call. That’s what a leader does.” But the call he makes is fucking stupid. This is a grab the thing and get out mission. Two people in the academy have powers that would work wonderfully for this type of mission. And they happen to be right there. Even with Allison refusing to use her power, it’s stupid to not have Five just blink in and grab it. Diego is a shitty leader. +1

Beeman just tells Diego that he is the prime suspect in Patch’s murder. This is so dumb on so many levels. Sigh. +1

Beeman has already said shit that would make him lose his job. At this point he’s arguing with Diego to pad the episode’s run time. +1

Whoever did Emmy Raver-Lampman’s makeup for this scene screwed up her brows really bad. Or maybe just her brow highlight is messed up. Or the blending on her eyeshadow. +1

Five is just sort of standing there and leaning against the wall. This is supposed to be another hint that he’s injured but it just looks stupid. +1

Allison’s heartfelt message to Vanya shows remorse and a genuine want for connection. -1

See! This cut where Allison doesn’t explain to Five and Diego who Leonard is because the viewer already knows and this can therefore happen off screen is good! Use this more if you’re going to do episodes like this. -1

Luther turns to alcohol because he doesn’t feel like he has any support. I’m sad now. Poor Luther! -1

And my sympathy disappears when Luther starts choking Klaus. That is some fucking bullshit. +1

I understand that Luther is drunk and not capable of complex decisions right now, but this seems excessively cruel. I think this is on the writers and not necessarily on Luther himself. +1

Why isn’t Ben seeing this? Later on, it’s like Ben didn’t see what Luther did here. This sin makes more sense later on in the episode. +1

Klaus is genuinely trying to make Luther feel better after Luther just choked him. Klaus is a good brother. -1

Klaus suggests going to find Allison. It’s like he knows what happened last episode. Oh, show. And yes, you can argue that Klaus knows that Luther and Allison were close. Then my counter argument would be that Klaus knows Allison is off saving the world. Yes, helping Luther is important, but Klaus can do it. Klaus needs more faith in himself. +1

Luther’s smile when Klaus calls him Number One and starts quoting poetry at him. “O captain, my captain.” -1

This immediately transitions into crying. My poor babies. +1

Klaus attempts to say “that’s not true” but can’t because he knows that Reggie is the type of person to send someone to the moon so he doesn’t have to look at them. Reggie is a dick. +7

Luther looks so lost and broken and sad. Tom Hopper, you asshole. I am actually crying a little bit. I’ll take a sin off because Tom Hopper made me feel emotions. -1

Robert Sheehan is an excellent actor. -1

Luther shoves Klaus out of the way with no regard to where he lands. What if Klaus’s head hit that furniture! +1

The Hazel and Cha Cha scenes would have been stronger if we left them in the last episode. Maybe one or two establishing things to show that they aren't affected by the time change and that’s it. All we needed was the order to not terminate Five and one of the messages. That’s it. +1

Hazel has a birdwatching book which shows that he wants to learn about Agnes’s interests. Cute. -1

They are trying to imply some kind of relationship between Hazel and Cha Cha! Cha Cha having feelings for Hazel doesn’t make sense. +1

“So do most serial killers and mass murderers. I mean look at him” “Thanks.” The delivery of “thanks” always bothered me. It could have used a little more sarcasm. +1

Diego doesn’t wait for Allison or Five to open the door. Nor does he let them offer suggestions. +1

Diego doesn’t even test the doorknob. Dumbass. +1

Diego seems like one of the competent siblings until he does this mission with Five and Allison, who have the family brain cells. This is amusing, but also makes me question the badass Diego moments. +1

If we don’t get more Five and Allison in season 2 imma riot. These characters work so well together. +1 

The way they make fun of Diego together is peak sibling culture. -1

“You need to see this.” Please just stop giving Allison these bullshit lines. +1

Five’s run is weird. He’s lifting his knees really high. This is one of those things that I shouldn’t have noticed. +1

Bottom left poster. Klaus hit the woah sixteen years too early. +1

Harold had time to scratch their faces before going to jail or Leonard did this at some point as an adult. Creep. +1

He also mangled the action figures even further. +1

Five isn’t looking so hot because the plot demands it right now. He was perfectly fine cracking jokes with Allison earlier. +1

Looking closer at the wound, we can see that Five not taking care of it right away is total fucking bullshit. That looks serious and like it could get infected easily. Five, who grew up in an apocalypse, would know to take care of shit like that. If he didn’t then he would have died in the Apocalypse.+1

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Diego would be excellent at cinema sins. +1

Five doesn’t answer this question because the answer is “The writers needed a convenient way to get me out of the picture for a couple hours.” +1

Harold’s father took him fishing. I don’t want to know why. +1

“We don’t have to stay here. We can just get a shitty motel or something.” Or ya know, go back to your apartment, Vanya. Or is Vanya’s apartment like Five’s injury in that it only exists when the plot needs it. +1

Off topic, but why is Vanya talking about chord progressions with her beginner violin student. Chords and violin don’t go together when you first start learning. This is a weird example. +1

Leonard is a manipulative bastard. He knows exactly what to say to make Vanya bend to his will. +1

We aren’t even halfway through the episode and I have been doing this for over two hours. This says a lot about the kinds of sins this episode has. Right now we’re at the end of page 6. +1

Vanya followed Leonard to a cabin in the woods in the middle of nowhere. They’ve known each other for less than a week. I wouldn’t trust some of the people I’ve known for years the way Vanya trusts Leonard. +1

Hazel has known Agnes for less than a week and now he wants to run away with her. +1

Agnes is willing to run away with Hazel despite knowing him for less than a week. +1

Hazel and Agnes are using the “Life is short” thing, which it is, especially with the impending apocalypse, but that doesn’t change that they’ve known each other for less than a week. +1

“Her job’s her life.” so why don’t you show that, show? Cha Cha’s motivations make no sense. +1

Hazel and Agnes theme! I love that piece. -1

The way Hazel is holding her looks really funny. I am amused. -1

Ben pressuring Klaus to help Luther despite all the physical harm Luther did to Klaus. I am sinning this again. Why didn’t Ben see this? Or does he just not care? This is either a sin for the show for not remembering where Ben is or a sin for Ben for not caring about his brother. +1

Ben creates a shadow but he is supposed to be invisible. I don’t think that’s how light works. Is Klaus the only person that can see Ben’s shadow? Is Klaus sober enough that he’s starting to make Ben corporeal? How does this work? +1

Right now if anyone looked in that alley, Klaus would look fucking crazy. +1

The guy walking past doesn’t care that Klaus is talking to nobody right now. +1

“You weren't ready to die violently at a young age” yeah. Seventeen, based on the portraits. Why does Ben’s ghost not look bloody? And why does he look like he’s in his late 20s? Ben should still look seventeen right? If Justin Min, age 29, is meant to be playing a 17 year old, then I have some issues. +1

Can Ben sweat? +1

The “if you were in trouble” line is delivered really well. Nice. -1

Ben’s tough love is more of a pep talk now. I like this version of Ben. He’s a little misguided, but he sort of gets the spirit. Heh spirit, Ben, get it? -1

“We should have taken him to the hospital” Allison would be excellent at cinema sins. +1

“We gotta get the shrapnel out.” Yeah, but that is not priority one right now. Is there any pressure on the wound right now? +1

This repeat scene with Diego and Grace makes sense because it’s at a different time. -1

“Seven bars, three strip joints, and a laundromat.” Why the laundromat? +1

Ben’s shadow is even more pronounced now. +1

Convenient rave girl talking to herself about Luther with a good description is convenient. +1

“Holy Shit” said in unison. Nice. -1

Ben and Klaus wouldn’t know about Luther’s monkey transformation, so the reaction checks out but not the description. Maybe “big” was why they decided to check it out? +1

Rave girl thinks Luther is a furry. This is funny. -1

Luther offers Klaus drugs. That’s nice, I guess. -1

Offering your newly sober brother drugs. +2

Ben is honestly a life coach from hell. “Stay strong don’t give into temptation.” Remember your mantras. Meditate. Drink lots of water. +1

Though, that does make sense. A dead guy would be a shitty life coach. +1

What’s with the weird light on the pill that Klaus threw? Is that a secondary power? Being able to find drugs? +1

No one steps on or trips on Klaus, who is crawling around on the floor in a room full of high/drunk/whatever people. +1

Klaus’s flashbacks. Putting my boy through trauma. +1

Dave turns into the pill because the pill symbolises everything holding Klaus back from summoning Dave. Symbolism. -1

Grace is treating Five’s shrapnel wound in his room instead of the infirmary. +1

“Receptionist at her music school” wait. Vanya has another job teaching music? She has three jobs? How in the hell did she have time to do any of this stuff? +1

Allison’s face when Diego says Luther was right. That was amazing. Emmy Raver-Lampman, you genius. -1

The City has no people around right now other than Diego, Allison, and the cops. +1

“Why would you ask that about me?” because you carry pointy things and throw them into people, Diego. That’s why Allison asks if the police are right about you murdering someone. +1

Allison would be excellent at cinema sins. She reiterated my last point. +1

Why did they send that many cops to go arrest one guy? Did they expect the entire academy to fight them? +1

“You killed a cop, asshole.” Rodriguez did the police academy teach you nothing? You can’t say shit like that to a suspect? +1

Finally, someone reads Diego his Miranda rights. Doing the bare minimum is impressive for these cops. +1

Diego, you edgy bastard. Spitting on the ground? Great. Make these people even more pissed off then they already are. +1

Vanya’s power is mostly destructive and Leonard should know this based on the book. So why is he trying to get her to summon a boat? Or destroy a boat? This doesn’t make any sense. +1

“I watched everything my brothers and sister could do ruin their lives.” The Umbrella Academy in a nutshell. +1

Also, if you saw this, then why the fuck did you want powers, Vanya? +1

“Do I stare really hard? Am I supposed to point my fingers?” Actual conversation Ellen Page had with the director somehow made it into the show. +1

This scene is so underrated. It’s so funny watching the music swell and nothing happen. -1

“I look and I feel ridiculous. I have no idea how they did this stuff with a straight face.” -1

“You are so invested in this.” Yeah, girl. Red flag. +1

Convenient burning not obscuring the words of the “terminate Hazel” message is convenient. +1

Do we really need the repeat of Cha Cha getting the message? +1

Cha Cha doesn’t notice Hazel behind the curtain despite being a trained assassin. This is why Five was the best. +1

Hazel doesn’t kill Cha Cha. +1

Netflix subtitles have Ben saying “Oh shit, Luther” when it’s clearly Klaus saying that line. +1

Klaus’s desire to help his brother is stronger than his need for drugs. -1

For whom the bell tolls? The bell tolls for Klaus. +1

Little Girl on a Bike God takes her lines directly from the comics. -1

She plays the pronoun game with Klaus despite Her being all knowing. Or She does this to be an asshole. +1

The barber shop looks like a little barn from the outside. Clever misdirection. -1

“Nite Owl Barber Shop” -1

“Barber banter may offend” no kidding. With Reggie working there, need I say more. -1

The pictures of Luther, Diego, Reggie, Dave, Five, and possibly young Ben on the wall. -1

Five’s hair looks really dumb in the photo aslkdj;gaf. -1

Artful close up shot of Robert Sheehan’s face. -1

Reggie is a dick. “What in God’s name took you so long?” Maybe he didn’t want to see you, asshole. +1

Was Colm Feore actually shaving Robert Sheehan? +1

I am going to sin Reggie being a dick in advance here so I don’t have to sin every line. +20

Klaus brings up an interesting point. How did Reggie know about the apocalypse? +1

Klaus is crying when Reggie says that he killed himself to bring them all back together. On some level, Klaus cares for this man. Empathy. -1

Just as Reggie starts to say something important, he disappears because of course he does. If the characters actually spoke to each other about important things then there would be no plot. +1

Klaus was dead and now he’s not. Why didn’t he wake up in the apocalypse? +1

Kenny’s mom sighting. She’s at the rave. +1

Leonard pays these guys to beat him up. Did he also give them a script? +1

Vanya’s powers activate when the rain starts but only become visible when she fears for Leonard’s life. Good choice. -1

Hazel doesn’t kill Cha Cha. Killing her would help him out in so many ways, yet he doesn’t do it. Or remove his tracker. Or her tracker. Or anything. +1

“I’m in love” You’ve known her for a couple days at best. +1

“Wake up and smell the coffee.” This is part of the reason why I headcanon Five’s coffee addiction came from the Commission. +1

Hazel can’t bring himself to kill Cha Cha after she threatens him and the woman he “loves” because of years of friendship in a job he hated? That she loved? I’m confused. +1

Allison is going after Vanya alone. She is going to this cabin in the woods alone. Horror Movie 101, Allison. +1

Now Ben looks concerned. All it took was Klaus’s literal death. +1

Luther and the rave girl are both too high to consent? I don’t like the vibes. +1

Diego is in jail because of his own stupidity. +1

The police didn’t give him back his sling. The man is walking around with a gunshot wound, assholes. +1

The shot of the eye before the camera focuses on Five symbolizes Five putting the apocalypse before everything. -1

Vanya looks so scared in the hospital. Excellent acting. -1

The shot of the eye also reminds us that the eye exists at all which makes the eye reveal more dramatic. -1

Overall Review:

Okay, so if episode 5 is where the viewer truly learns what’s going on, then episode 7 is when everything truly comes together. All the loose plot threads fit themselves together in this episode. In fact, you could argue that the Leonard/Harold eye reveal is the most important reveal after the whole Vanya has powers reveal. The eye makes sense now. 

You know what? I challenge all the fic writers who read this to write a “watching the show” style fic, but only using this episode. Drop this episode on them in the middle of one of the early episodes and then have them try to stop the apocalypse based on it. Tag me when you’ve posted it and/or gift it to cherriesareneat on ao3. I will probably be writing my own version of this at some point. 

There are a ton of great moments in this episode. The important beats being the Harold/Leonard reveal, Five’s injury, Luther at the rave, Klaus’s death, Reggie’s reveal, Vanya’s powers reveal, and the eye reveal. These were mostly well executed with the exception being Five’s injury. 

Also, let me know if you prefer the long sins/short analysis style I’ve been trying out recently. 

Total: 152

Sentence: What is character motivation? Where am I? I am confused.

[theunmappedstar]

I dare you to give some random badboy au headcanons

so, i’m sorry, but “random headcanons” turned into “here’s the beginning of highschool badboy au plot that i have stuck in my head”... so... enjoy.

Sophie meets them because she joins Foxfire’s photography class as an elective. She has a group assignment that she has to complete, which requires her to take some photography scavenger hunt. She’s given a piece of paper with a list of different prompts she has to use to take pictures. (She’s mostly intrigued by the “street photography” bullet point).

Sophie gets paired up with Biana. They make quick friends and decide to divvy up the work - but this is also how Sophie learns about the boys.

She’d heard a little about them prior, but Sophie tended to only dip her toe into the gossip sparingly, so she doesn’t know exactly what’s up with these dudes

Sophie finds out that Biana is related to Fitz. Biana’s actually a real chatterbox when it comes to her family, so over the next week Sophie’s filled in on the majority of the timeline. (Also, the fact that everyone seemed to know of it, but her made Sophie feel really out of the loop and unpopular, but.)

The Vackers are a very wealthy and influential family. Biana’s parents naturally expected the most of their kids. Unfortunately, that only ended up dividing them. The three siblings weren’t very close when they were younger, but at least they talked - they barely interact normally anymore, according to Biana, focusing solely on their own lives and work. Alvar’s long since graduated, but Fitz and Biana are still held to their parent’s high expectations; they feel pressured to somehow reach above Alvar’s already-tremendous feats. Biana says even though it was rough, she never really saw it as a competition like her two brothers did. But that doesn’t mean she liked it, either.

Anyway, Fitz got so fed up with it and after a blowout, he managed to fall into what the Vacker parents love to call the “wrong crowd.”

The “wrong crowd” happens to be two kids - one from Foxfire Academy and one from a neighboring not-so-pristine school called Exillium.

Sophie’s interested as to who the two kids are, naturally, so she asks.

She almost immediately regrets that decision because as it would turn out, she knows those two kids.

Or, at least, she used to.

The first, Keefe Sencen, was surrounded by a lot of talk in her grade because of how he’d managed to skip a year when he was younger - and now Sophie finds that he’s apparently close to having to retake a year, since his grades have started to slip. She’d only seen him a couple times in elementary and had been paired with him for projects a staggering record of two times, but that didn’t mean he was one she would forget. (Those two group projects had been hell for her. He’d messed around with her so much and made her so frustrated and flustered and urg she hadn’t known how to act around a boy so obnoxious-but-cute).

Sophie doesn’t know if she’s surprised or not to find out that he managed to flip into the resident bad boy

The second one, Tam Song, happened to be a childhood friend (or she assumed that was the same Tam Song. There couldn’t be that many Tam Songs in the world, right?). She’d had a couple playdates with him before his parents had moved him and his twin sister away. She found out years later from her parents that the Songs had been having financial troubles and could no longer afford to be in the neighborhood/attend the academy

Sophie is baffled that the three managed to get together and start a reputation for themselves, no less

Sophie’s also baffled that they’re so well-known and yet she hadn’t really heard a thing about them; seriously, how unpopular was she?

When she relays the info to Dex and Marella at lunch, they tease Sophie that they’ve been waiting for it to hit her for years.

“...Why do you think we sit alone?” Dex asks.

Honestly, Sophie never really bothered to think about it. “I don’t know.”

Marella just snort-giggles. “Listen, you’re really smart, Sophie: you could build an entire AI system if you put your mind to it. But sometimes you lack a little thing called common sense.”

She doesn’t know whether to be offended or flattered.

She chooses to be flattered.

In the following days, Biana and Sophie get to checking off the to-do list for the assignment. Sophie’s first one requires her to take pictures of the interior of the school. She knows full well she could use her press pass to take pictures of the empty hallways during school, but that would require setting a time up with teachers, which would mean talking to teachers, which required basic social interaction... which.... was not very appealing and definitely not on Sophie’s list of Things I Want To Do.

She instead decides to stay after school for half an hour and take pictures.

She’s meandering around, snapping pictures here and there, trying to find out which angles would make the pictures less boring when she’s startled by a voice.

Sophie nearly drops the camera and whirls to find a boy sprawled across the bench outside the principle’s office. It takes her a moment to recognize him, but it eventually floods her brain.

Surprise, surprise - it’s Keefe Sencen.

He’s changed a lot since she last saw him. Granted, she last saw him when they were, like, six, but she lets herself be shocked.

Keefe’s got the whole getup. Ripped jeans, black tee, jet-black leather jacket... And he wears curiously, Sophie notices, an abundance of chains. Specifically, those rapper chains that dangle around your neck.

Sophie doesn’t realize that he’s called for her until he does it again. He’s asking what she’s up to, walking around with a camera like that after school.

She doesn’t know why, but “Yearbook” stumbles out.

She is not in Yearbook. She’s in Photography - close, but not quite it.

Keefe seems to feed off of her being flustered. It looks like he seriously enjoys it. he goes on to ask her what she’s got to take pictures of

She can’t really speak when he stands, hands shoved in his pockets, looking like that, so she just... hands the list over to him.

He quirks a brow and muses about the student/faculty box that has yet to be checked and he asks why she’s saved that one, since she’s been at school all day.

“Well, I... don’t really know how to casually approach someone and ask for a picture.”

It’s true. Everyone’s moving so fast and about their day during school hours and it’s especially hard to catch anybody after school.

Keefe just shrugs. “Then, you don’t have to.”

It takes her a second to realize what he means. He’s offering to let her take a picture of two of him.

It seems like a good idea. He’s right there and she can get it done and over with, but something about lifting the camera and snapping some shots of Keefe Sencen... Having to go home and know that she has access to pictures of him that she herself got to take...

He seems untouchable, is the thing. It seems like this is something that shouldn’t be happening - like he should have shooed her off like she was some human scum. It seems like they’re on two different levels. She’s the weird kid nobody really strives to talk to and he’s the boy that everyone’s terrified and annoyed (but secretly impressed) of.

“Oh, you don’t have to-”

Keefe interrupts her to assure her he doesn’t mind. He does ask if it sounds a little too self-centered, though, the way he just offered himself up for grabs.

Sophie’s not really listening because she’s too mesmerized by him combing his hands through his hair.

She kinda just blinks and mumbles some incoherent reply while trying to set the camera up. Her hands are super shaky and Keefe notices. Sophie stiffens when he outstretches a hand and asks if he can see the camera

“Um,” she starts, forcing herself to look at him, “I don’t think I should. I don’t own this and if it gets damaged-”

“Relax,” he murmurs. He retracts his hand instantly. “I was just asking. I took photography - I’m interested what camera they’ve given you. It looks different from the one I used; which seriously sucked, by the way.”

He pauses for a second to look her up and down. It makes her squirm, feeling on fire.

“And the pictures don’t have to be of me, right? They can be of students, if I’m remembering the guidelines correctly.” He waves the paper in his hands before reaching out to give it back to her. “And you, Miss...”

When Sophie recognizes he’s asking for her name, she blushes. “Sophie.” She plucks the paper from his hand.

He gives a swirling hand gesture, like he’s prodding for more.

“Foster,” she contends.

He nods, satisfied once he has her last name. “Foster,” he repeats, then continues, “Well, you’re a student, if I do say so myself. So, that means...” He lifts up his hands, pretending like he’s holding an imaginary camera. He pretends to adjust the lens and focus on her, finger hovering over the imaginary button that would take the imaginary picture.

He smirks. “Need a smile there, Foster,” he beckons.

She’s pretty sure she can’t get any redder. “I’m not really photogenic,” she argues, reaching forward to beckon his fake camera down.

He relents and let’s his hands drop, but his smirk remains. “Sure.”

She doesn’t really know what to say after that, so she hands him the camera with a mumble. Keefe eagerly takes it in his hands (which makes her notice the rings he has littered on his fingers) and he starts flipping and fiddling.

He says some random model name to her which she doesn’t really pay attention to. She only snaps up when his meddling ends and he asks, “Hey, by the way, how’ve the group projects been going?”

His smile seems more tender. More reminiscent. There’s a teasing lilt to his voice, which makes Sophie realize he remembers her. And, in turn, he remembers those god-awful projects they were forced to endure together.

She’s pretty sure she turns redder than her rosy skirt. “You remember that?” she mumbles.

Keefe chuckles. “Remember? Can’t really forget.” He taps his temple. “Also, anything that involves a cute girl is immediately filed to the front of my brain.”

Sophie’s so struck by the compliment that she nearly grazes over his first fact. How had she managed to forget he had a photographic memory just like her?

She doesn’t quite know how to respond, but she manages to pull a smile and mumble something about needing to get to work if she wants to finish the project. Surprisingly, Keefe just smiles back and offers her the camera. She makes sure not to graze too much of his skin as she takes the camera from his hands, shaking. She thanks him and turns to bolt away as fast as her legs can carry her (because she knows she’s on fire and she knows he can see it and oh god-) when his voice slows her down.

“I’m serious about that picture thing, Foster. If you need any help, I’ve got time.”

She stops in the hallway to look at him. Sophie raises a slow eyebrow and gestures to the office. Her hand is unsteady, but she’s proud when her voice doesn’t shake. “You seem pretty busy to me.”

Keefe laughs. “Nah, this is normal. But I can find a way to make some time for you.”

Sophie’s sure he says something more along the line of, “All you need to do is ask,” but she’s pretty sure the entire world has become a blur. in a flash she’s said her goodbye and she’s speed walking out to Dex’s car (he offered to drive her home after school, that day. He does it whenever he has time, actually. They live in the same neighborhood, which is pretty convenient, given they’re best friends and adoptive cousins).

Dex can see she’s off her game, but he doesn’t delve into it. The car ride home is pretty quiet.

Also when Biana and Sophie see each other in class the following day, it’s pretty hard for Sophie to come up with an excuse as to why she doesn’t have that many photos. She promises that she’ll stay after school again to try and make them up.

She does.

And that’s when she meets Fitz.

Sophie doesn’t really know how it happened. She avoided the area she’d seen Keefe in at all costs, snapping pictures literally anywhere else she could find, but somehow she wound up outside on the curb. And somehow she ended up wandering through the mostly-empty parking lot, snapping pictures of the parking spaces that the seniors had decorated (every year the graduating class got to customize their parking spot with spray paint). And wandering through the parking lot taking pictures led to her spotting a few sleek bikes.

In hindsight, Sophie thinks she finally understands what Marella meant by “you’re smart but you have no common sense,” because she walks up to the bikes. They’re against the curbside parking spaces, so Sophie steps up on the sidewalk and begins observing the shiny vehicles.

She’s never really been keen on motorcycles (the idea of getting one kind of terrifies her) but she has to admit that they look good.

And Sophie, lacking that beautiful common sense, snaps a picture.

She barely holds back the squeak when someone behind her asks what she’s up to. Sophie turns around to meet two boys in leather jackets. They’ve both got dark heads of hair, but one is noticeably lighter. And the darkest sported silver-dyed bangs.

She’s pretty sure her insides shrivel. It’s them, there’s no denying. Her photographic memory compares Tam’s aged features with the ones from his youth, seeing how his soft face had turned to hard-and-handsome lines. And she can see the resemblance to Biana in Fitz’s equally-charming face.

(Also, the more that she thought about it, she’d actually been put against Fitz during one of the stupid elementary spelling bees. She severely prayed he didn’t remember her as spelling bee girl.)

“Sorry,” she apologizes sheepishly. She lifts the camera. “Photography. I can delete it.”

She should have asked before doing that. She seriously should have asked. She feels like she’s been caught and she’s considering turning tail and running when they shrug and tell her it’s fine. She’s pretty sure she’s dreaming when she gets asked if she at least liked the bikes or if it was just for the assignment.

She says it was for the assignment, but she does like them.

Fitz smiles at her for the first time and Sophie’s legs become jello. 

Shit, how can someone look that nice while smiling?

But it doesn’t last too long because Tam asks who she is and where he’s seen her before. His head is tilted at her, dangly earrings twirling with the motion. Sophie can tell he does recognize her, at least a bit. All eyes are on her, so she feels a bit squirmy mentioning how she knows Tam, but once she does, his eyes light up and his eyebrows launch.

“Oh, Sophie. Shit.”

“Yeah,” she agrees. “Shit.”

Years later, it looks impossible to imagine that they’d ever been friends. They were so... different from each other, now.

They all start making semi-awkward conversation, discussing the school year and Sophie’s photography anything random they can come up with when Keefe rolls out of the school.

“Foster?”

She waves. “Oh, um. Hey.”

Keefe reaches his friends and his eyebrows crunch. He asks if they know her. Tam shrugs and says they knew each other when they were little, but they haven’t seen one another in years. Fitz admits Biana’s mentioned a Foster girl, but he doesn’t know her (Sophie’s pretty sure she’s dead. She didn’t know Biana talked about her at the house, even if it was something like measly dinner small talk.)

Keefe turns and grins at her, seeing the camera in her hand. “Yearbook again?”

She flushes. “Photography, actually.” Seeing his confusion, she continues, “I don’t know why I said Yearbook, yesterday. I’m in Photography, not Yearbook.”

Shockingly, Keefe just snorts. He muses that she’s something else before waltzing over and outstretching his hand. Sophie hands him the paper chock-full of guidelines again. Keefe starts muttering that she has a lot more crossed off than yesterday.

“You’ve still got a bit to go,” he points out.

Sophie just kinda nods. She’s mostly focusing on not letting her knees buckle in front of all of them. Her hands on the camera are sweating. It’s weird, how she’s managed to get caught in this situation. Everyone steers clear of these three, she knows, but now she’s somehow stuck in normal conversation with them. About photography, no less.

Keefe spots the street photography point and hums. He points to it, showing her the paper. “That seems interesting.” He meets her eyes. “Gonna take me up on my offer, yet, Foster?”

She swallows. “Oh, uh, street photography isn’t here, it’s-”

“On the street,” Keefe agrees, handing her back the paper. He shares one glance with his friends before meandering to his bike, slinging his leg over the seat.

Tam huffs a short laugh, grinning like he understands before he goes to hop on his own ride. Fitz is the last one behind, hands shoved in his pockets, just standing and smiling in amusement.

“You’re free, aren’t you?” Keefe implores. “We can make it quick. Drop you off back here - or wherever.”

Sophie chews on her lip. It is a tempting offer. She doesn’t really have a ride into the city planned, so it seems like the perfect opportunity. One quick ride, a few pictures, and she can leave. But that also means getting on a motorcycle. Which. . . kind of terrifies her.

“One ride, Foster,” Keefe promises, seeing the way she’s staring at the bike. “Does fifteen minutes sound good?”

Fifteen minutes is definitely enough time for her to get in a crash. Fifteen minutes is also definitely enough time for them to murder someone, but Sophie tries hard not to think about that.

Especially not when Keefe shrugs off his jacket and tosses it to her. Sophie catches it with a gasp, thankful that she doesn’t drop the camera. “Um,” she starts.

She cuts herself off when Fitz goes to his bike and pops open a back storage compartment. He snatches out a spare helmet, then waltzes back up onto the sidewalk next to her, reaching out his to trade the camera for the helmet.

Sophie swallows.

Seeing how nervous she is, he smiles, making a short nudge with his chin in the direction of the bike. “It’s up to you,” he promises.

“You won’t get hurt,” Keefe also assures. “You’ve got jeans on. And you wear that jacket and the helmet, you’ll be fine.”

She doesn’t like the fact that she has to take those precautionary measures in the first place. But, she guesses it’s just what one has to do. It’s like wearing a seatbelt in a car. This is the motorcycle’s seatbelt.

Sophie hands Fitz the camera and takes the helmet. She slips on the jacket, ignoring the heat that runs through her body at how nice it feels - and how Keefe looks at her.

Sophie clears her throat and puts the helmet on. Her fingers fumble horribly with the straps around her chin and no matter how much she tugs, she can’t get it right. Fitz has to come back over and help her, laughing gently. He narrates to her how to do it as he cinches it up for her with diligent fingers, smiling.

Sophie, however, is anything but smiling when he pulls away. There’s only one step left - to get on that bike with him, hold on tight to his waist, and pray that they don’t take her to some secondary location.

Sophie makes sure to look him in the eyes to know she’s serious. “You kill me, I kill you.”

Fitz chuckles. “Noted.”

[mystech-master]

A while ago, I made a post discussing my thoughts on Nu and Lambda, in it I also described why I personally can’t ship them, even if I also said you could do mental gymnastics to ignore the Saya clone stuff (read it to understand what I mean).

But, they aren’t the only ones to have this issue; What about Noel and Celica, two more MAIN characters who have a similar issue in their storytelling.

I will go into that now, starting with Noel (beware possibly long-ass post)

Noel is one of the main characters, and one of the most important characters in the setting (to many fan’s displeasure), so of course she is highly tied to the MC Ragna, even getting a lot of shippy moments with him. This is in spite of her being a Murakumo.

Now in my Nu and Lambda thing I said that b/c Ars Magus is weird and not an exact science and seem to be made from Saya’s soul not her DNA you could do mental gymnastics to ignore that and make the shipping okay. Could you do that with Noel? I say NO.

Not only is Noel MUCH closer to Saya (seriously put a picture of her next to young Saya from flashbacks and she looks exactly like what she’d grow up to be), but she is also apparently made from the largest chunk of her soul.

The games seem to go along this thought process with her:

Noel is a Murakumo -> Noel is not human -> Noel is a weapon -> cue angst

but the fans have the thought process of

Noel is a Murakumo -> Murakumo Units are clones of Saya -> Saya is Ragna’s sister -> Murakumo Units are clones of Ragna’s sister -> they are Ragna’s sisters.

This gets even more stupid once Izanami comes in and we learn SHE is Saya, not Noel (her being an amnesiac Saya would’ve made things much easier), because then it is like “See, Noel isn’t Saya, THAT’S Saya!”. Also Blazblue has a while thing about roles, like Ragna has ONE little brother and ONE little sister: Jin and Saya, respectively. But fans say he can have multiple little sisters but the story doesn’t because “roles” or whatever (using the weird stage terms that Rachel and Amane use).

Like, here is an idea I had for CS’ plot with more emphasis on Noel actually being Saya rather than just a clone/copy, or at least more focus on her connection with Ragna to HAVE that sibling instead of just taking the “I am not human” thing from the Murakumo:

They escape from the Cauldron at the end of CT, and Ragna now gets a god look at her, maybe he does think that this IS Saya, and you can have a bit of an emotional scene here, but Noel runs off b/c A. she is still shy girl and a MAN is so close to her, and B. this is still the SS-Class Criminal Ragna the Bloodedge. A bit of angst there because Ragna supposedly thought something horrible happened to Saya (based on a flashback in CF with Jubei).

Much, MUCH later, he can meet up with Noel again, before she is kidnapped by Terumi for the final act of being the Godslayer, maybe with Makoto there. This is where they can actually talk and bond for a bit so Ragna has an actual reason to go running off an saving her. This is where Ragna can explain his little sister to the two, maybe thinking that he got Noel confused for Saya since she looks just like her.

But, then they start piecing together everything. Noel has weird memories of Ragna, and she has amnesia from before the destruction of Ibukido after the Ikaruga Civil War. SO, what if Noel IS just an Amnesiac Saya who has trauma induced amnesia from the Ibukido stuff? This is great for Noel because all this time she might also be worried about her humanity after the shit with Nu in CT’s true ending, and maybe a cryptic line from Terumi/Hazama, but now with this information, she reaffirms that she is HUMAN, she has a family (imagine the reaction when she learns that major dickbag Kisaragi is her big brother). We could then maybe cut back to someone watching them cryptically commentating, and when we cut back Noel is in the middle of telling Ragna, her newly re-discovered big brother, about what she’s been up to, her adoptive family and her time at the Military Academy. Maybe here we could also have a gag reel where, like a later one where they try and help Celica improve her sense of direction, Ragna and Noel cook something. We get some fun-sibling time and get to see Ragna’s cooking hobby in semi-canon action. He’d call her Saya, but everyone else calls her Noel since that’s what they know her as (think of it similar to how Vegeta calls Goku by his Sayan name “Kakarot” while everyone else just calls him his Earth name).

THEN we have Terumi come in and kidnap her.

Rachel stops Ragna from running after them for cryptic warning BS, then the fight with Jin, then the fight with Terumi, etc. everything happens the same from there. Only it isn’t some random stranger who Ragna all of a sudden is risking his life for, this is the little sister he lost so long ago.

Then comes the shit with Izanami. One idea that  had was that Noel IS still a Murakumo AND Saya, but she is Saya’s good half fragmented off when Izanami was made. Izanami is one part the Origin’s Drive and one part Saya’s Darkness. So Noel breaking off from Saya is kind of like M.Bison from Street Fighter removing all the good from his soul to use Psycho Power, resulting in Rose.

Then in CP, we can have an extra layer of conflict because Noel is trying to save Tsubaki, who points out that she is affiliated with a wanted criminal, Ragna the Bloodedge. Remember, Noel just wants to be a normal girl with a normal life. She already has the issue of her humanity with being a Murakumo, but then you have the more societal BS of being related to a super criminal. She cannot be “normal girl“ Noel Vermilion, AND friends with Ragna the Bloodedge, SS-Class Criminal at the same time.

Tell me that wouldn’t all be a really good alternative.

Also being able to refer to the three MCs as “The Siblings” is just so much easier.

and then we got Celica A. Mercury.

she flops back and forth between, Ragna’s mom, and Ragna’s love interest.

Celica A. Mercury in Blazblue Chronophantasma, is well, a Chronophantasma. A copy of someone who isn’t supposed to be alive in the current timeline. Specifically, Celica is the younger sister of the Great Sage Nine, one of the Six Heroes who defeated the Black Beast 100 years before the setting of the games. the ORIGINAL Celica, after the Six Heroes were almost wiped out by Terumi, proceeded to become a nun/sister in a church built over the remains of the Black Beast’s corpse, as she has a unique Order power to nullify seithr. With her healing magic keeping her young and healthy she lived there alone until Jubei brought the three siblings, Ragna Jin and Saya, to be under her care for an undisclosed amount of time. This is where people get her being Ragna’s mom, even thought nuns/sisters are more just general caretakers instead of parents, but she is still a female maternal figure who looked after Ragna so you can see where people get that.

But then you get “teen” Celica, the one the games show in the story. She is from the Dark War, where she actually met Ragna first. Ragna was sent back in time, with Amnesia, to fill the role of the unsung 7th Hero “Bloodedge” and stop the Black Beast for a year allowing Nine to arm humanity with Ars Magus. Celica apparently fell in love with him because she is very affectionate and familiar with Ragna once she is brought to the future as a Chronophantasma.

The story really does ping pong between her being very motherly, specifically her scolding Ragna and Jin for fighting in CP, and just being a naive child, see her complaining when people get on her case about her awful sense of direction. But it is really hard because the image of the sister seems to flash over her, which the other characters seem to notice, but much like Noel and Saya, no one in the story EVER seems to connect the dots and have that change the relationship between them.

Now I personally don’t like the ship because she is a naive child in a woman’s body, with the stupid no sense of direction gag, to her scolding Ragna and Jin as if they were Natsu and Gray from Fairy Tail who are just fighting for some dick measuring contest when we all KNOW the actual reason is more complicated but the story just seems to abandon that and GGRRRR!!!

But, looking at Celica, really you can;t do the whole “Schrodinger’s Relationship” thing like they’re doing with Saya and Noel and the Murakumos. They need to COMMIT, to a role.

If Celica is Ragna’s MOM, no ifs and or buts, then 1. They need to make her less of a cutesy child. and 2. Maybe age up her design, Litchi has the design vibe of someone who is “older” than the cast, maybe something similar to that. Just imagine another angsty scene of Ragna meeting this woman who has the same face as the Sister who raised him who he KNOWS 100% is dead, so no mistaken identity shit like I already suggested with Saya/Noel, and her looking at him with her face is just MOCKING him, especially since his first two meetings with her in CP are after he gets his ass kicked (once after he is sent back in time after Nu kicking his butt, and once after Kagura knocks him out and arrests him). Also you’d have to undo ALL ship teasing in Phase Shift, or just use one of my friend’s ideas and just have Ragna be a reincarnation of Bloodedge instead of going back in time.

If you want Celica to be the cute girl love interest, and this is the option I feel most people would want either b/c shipping or the cute girl waifu factor that Japan likes (I base some of m reasoning based on “could this be made”, then you’d have to undo all connections between Celica and the Sister. My simple idea was instead of Celica living all those years she dies there, but Nine also had a bunch of other caretakers go with her to help take care of the church. I mean Nine is one of the Great Sages AND a member of the Six Heroes you’re telling em she wouldn’t use some of tat fame and authority to make sure his little sister is safe when she is all alone out there. Seems almost out of character with how fiercely protective Nine was of Celica. Of course this all means that the Sister that raises Ragna and the siblings is less important as she is just a nameless backstory character in a similar vein to Noel’s adoptive Parents, but is is a much easier thing to do than the previous option.

Either of those two options are good IMO, but I still think Celica needs to grow up a bit and release how much everyone around her is an asshole before I can fully ship her and Ragna.

So, what do you guys think? Noel being fully Ragna’s sister leading to much more interesting plot stuff, and Celica committing to either the cute girl love interest or mom role. I feel lkike my ideas are good, but what d you guys think?

[spectralscathath]

Highest Fall You’ll Ever Grace

Robyn's rally went wrong, worse then anyone could have expected. Picking up the pieces isn't going to be easy. It had seemed so trivial, after everything that happened, but a licence still meant something. At least, it did to them.

Otherwise known as, the one where Ruby, Ren, Nora, and Marrow get their licences revoked after the rally.

AO3

Ren sat in silence, his father’s dagger off his arm and held in his hands where he could observe it, gently tracing the curve of the blade with his eyes. He could feel Nora’s presence in the room and felt more uncomfortable with it then he had in a very long time.

At least this time she was respecting his boundaries and letting him have his space. He supposed he should have been grateful for it.

Ruby’s presence, while familiar, was also more worrisome, the younger huntress alternating between running her hands through her hair, playing with the fabric of her hood, and nervously bouncing her knee.

That, he definitely understood. She saw Tyrian. Tyrian caused the massacre.

If he hadn’t been such a fool, so distracted by Nora and everything that happened, he could have sensed Tyrian. Would have, perhaps. He should have done so, to provide warning. But instead they were blindsided, and he proved useless in the matter.

He heard the clink of ceramics and the sound of hot water being poured and looked to Marrow, the ace operative emptying the kettle into four mugs. Ren didn’t know him nearly as well has he knew Nora and Ruby, but the tired slouch to his shoulders and the way Marrow’s tail drooped informed Ren of just how much the night had weighed on the operative.

Still, when Marrow turned, it was with a soft smile that belied the guilt in his eyes. “So, that was coffee with cream and five sugars for Rubes, and tea for you guys?”

Ren nodded once and placed his father’s dagger back in its sheath before he accepted his mug, curling his fingers around it to warm them. He took a breath of the steam that wafted off his tea and tried to use it to calm himself, to find his tranquillity.

He imagined himself turning grey, the world around him turning the same monochrome, and the silence that it would bring. He gave Marrow a subdued smile back and bowed his head in gratitude. “Thank you.”

He watched Marrow walk over to Ruby and Nora, Ren having deliberately sat on the furthest chair from everyone on the briefing room, and the trio exchanged a few words that Ren blotted out. He didn’t do so out of rudeness, but simply because he wanted to take the time in silence to sort through the turmoil of thoughts.

First, the obvious. Tyrian was there. Tyrian murdered at least nine people, though the body count was still being tallied. Tyrian was in Mantle. Therefore, Salem was here. Or her influence, at least.

Secondly, Penny was being blamed. He supposed if he didn’t know Tyrian existed, he might have at least suspected her, based on where she was standing when the lights came back, but it felt flimsy. He wondered what the point of that was, and how Tyrian thought he would get away with it. Penny was known as the protector of Mantle. Would people turn on her so quickly based on nothing?

Thirdly, he, all of them, had turned out completely useless. Penny and Marrow were on duty. He, Ruby, and Nora were Huntsmen who had once crossed blades with Tyrian. They had failed completely, and he knew he had a hand in it. He had sensed Tyrian’s approach before, when he didn’t even know what he was looking for.

If he hadn’t been distracted, if he had stayed focused- Tyrian had been in the room with him for who knows how long and Ren hadn’t known. What even was the point of all his training, his meditation, if he did nothing when he needed to take action?

He sipped his tea and sighed quietly, sensing Ironwood’s approach and turning his attention towards the door. He would focus on the next mission. He would work harder, to prevent this from happening again.

What was done could not be changed. All that could be done was the next step. Worrying about anything else was a distraction.

------------------

Ruby noticed Ren move and followed his line of sight to the door, the hand not holding her mug immediately twitching towards her back, where Crescent Rose normally was. But- no, if Ren sensed a threat he’d go for a weapon, just like he always did in Mistral.

Speaking of Ren, something weird was happening between him and Nora, and Ruby didn’t even want to know. She was a lot more worried about Penny.

Oh, maybe it was Penny coming to join them? Marrow had gotten the order through on his scroll after they’d cleared out most of the Grimm in Mantle, leaving the dregs for the robots. The order was simple, and kind of ominous. Wait in briefing room for mission debrief.

If it was Penny, Ruby would have to tell her it was Tyrian, that she saw him too, and that she knew Penny had nothing to do with this. Just like- just like Yang had nothing to do with breaking Mercury’s leg, and like Pyrrha hadn’t meant to rip Penny-

No, don’t think about it. Don’t think about Beacon, or the Vytal festival, or- or-

Penny was back now, that was all that mattered. It was all. That. Mattered.

Ironwood walked in, Clover hot on his heels, and Ruby watched Marrow curl a tiny bit inwards at the sight of the Ace Ops captain. She couldn’t get why, surely Clover knew Marrow tried his best, right? No one was in trouble here, what mattered was telling Ironwood everything about Tyrian, and how that meant Salem was here and-

She’d leave it at that. Ironwood wasn’t trustworthy enough yet, not with the truth about Salem, and besides, it was the wrong time. He’d be so harried by what happened, she didn’t want to stress him out more.

The right time would come, definitely. Then she’d tell him everything. She wasn’t like Ozpin at all, Qrow was right. It was totally different, yeah, definitely.

She finished her coffee and pushed those thoughts into the box too, locking that box where she shoved all the bad thoughts into up in her head where she didn’t have to think about it at all.

“General Ironwood, Penny didn’t do that.” She looked him in the eyes, putting her conviction behind it. She had to make sure he knew it wasn’t Penny.

“I am aware that Penny had no hand in the slaughter.” Ironwood clasped his hands behind his back. “But unfortunately, there was video footage leaked that proves otherwise.”

Ruby’s cup fell out of her hands and shattered on the floor. “Wh- what?” She felt Nora bolt upright beside her and Marrow sag back against the desk with the kettle, one hand clutching the table’s edge as the other came up to his face, like last night.

“That’s impossible.” Ren set his mug down as he spoke, brows furrowed in confusion. “There was an operative of Salem’s there last night. Ruby saw him. Perhaps Marrow did as well. There can’t be video footage of something that didn’t happen.”

“Scorpion guy.” Marrow nodded, tangling strands of his dark hair between his fingers. “I saw the bastard. Couldn’t get a shot, he was right in the middle of the crowd. He was quick too.”

Ruby blinked. Oh, so that was why he hadn’t pulled out his weapon. That made sense, with all the people running around, any attack into the crowd with Fetch could hit a civilian. And Tyrian was so fast. Marrow would never have been able to take him in close range, not if Uncle Qrow had struggled. Penny was the only one who could have.

Ironwood sighed and opened the screen they usually had the mission parameters on, pulling up a video. Ruby blinked at it, then blinked again to try and understand, or change, what she was seeing. Once it registered, the bottom dropped out of her stomach.

It was Penny. Penny in the dark of the rally. Penny spinning through the crowd with her blades and her dancer movements, slashing up innocent people who’d done nothing but go to support a woman who wanted to help Mantle.

“That- that’s not what happened!” Ruby clenched her fists. “It’s not! Penny would never do that.”

“That has to have been altered,” Nora gestured at the screen. “I mean, Tyrian was there, I trust Ruby. If she says she saw him, then he was there.”

Ruby looked to Marrow for more support, watching his face grow pale as he stared at the footage. “That’s not what I saw. I’m telling you sir, that is not what happened at all. I’ll testify to it, if this turns into an interrogation. Penny was telling that guy to stand down and protected Robyn Hill from an attack.”

“Be that as it may, I’m willing to bet everyone in Atlas and Mantle has seen this by now. They’ve already drawn their own conclusions.”

“Well maybe if you stopped acting like a dictator, people wouldn’t be so willing to believe that one of your robots was a murderer.” Nora sassed at the general.

Ruby glared viciously at her. “Don’t call her that! She’s a person!”

“That’s enough!” Ironwood snapped at them, closing the video over. “What you all say doesn’t matter. It could even get you painted as accomplices, at least until we can sort this all out and prove the truth to everyone.”

“Accomplices?” Ruby wrung her hands. “But- we didn’t do anything.”

“I understand. However, I regret to inform you that while this situation is under investigation, I will be revoking your Huntsmen licences.”

Her insides changed from feeling like everything was missing to feeling like a bundle of snakes, shifting and twisting into knots. “But- you can’t do that, we didn’t do anything wrong!” She’d come so far, she couldn’t just have everything she’d worked for, that Ironwood had given her, be taken away just like that. She had to fight for it!

Ironwood met her frantic desperation with a level calmness that looked firm despite the exhaustion visible in his eyes. “Until this matter is resolved, the four of you are effectively citizens.”

Clover spoke up, his green eyes locked on Marrow as Marrow wilted in place. “While you’re all permitted to continue rooming in Atlas Academy, you’re all barred from taking any Huntsman missions, carrying Huntsmen-class weaponry, or entering restricted areas. You’ll also be expected to follow civilian evacuation protocols in case of a Grimm attack. That means you go to the nearest shelter and you do not engage.”

“Sir, you can’t be serious, this is insane.”

“Quiet, Amin.” Clover didn’t need to snap, but Marrow’s mouth shut anyway. “Once this has passed, based on the outcome, you’ll all have your huntsman licences and privileges returned. And I recommend the four of you stay out of Mantle, while you’re at it.”

“But- this isn’t fair!” Ruby pleaded, not sure what was worse. That she wouldn’t get to keep going on missions, or that she wouldn’t be allowed to have Crescent Rose back, or that she wasn’t going to be able to help. “Penny was framed just like Yang was! Taking us off the field won’t solve anything.”

“I’m aware, Miss Rose. I’m sorry that it has to be this way.” Ironwood cast his gaze over all of them, standing tall the same way he had when he had disqualified Yang from the Vytal festival. Ruby tried not to think about that. Sure, the situations were similar, but that didn’t mean it was all going to go horribly wrong like it did in Beacon. That’s what they were going to stop.

If they were allowed to keep their licences.

“General, you can’t just take our licences away, this is Salem’s fault, she sent Tyrian to hurt people!”

“I am aware, Miss Rose, but the fact of the matter is that people are dead, and until the investigation is complete and Penny’s innocence is proven, you are all potential accomplices in the eyes of the law. You’re Atlesian Huntsmen, all of you. You don’t get special privileges just because you know the truth about Salem. That’s not the way things work.”

“But-” That was how it worked in Argus, right?

Ironwood cut her off. “You’re free to go. I’ll allow you to remain updated on the status of the Amity Communications Tower and the investigation into the massacre at the rally.” He studied them all for another long moment before he left, the ends of his coat billowing out the door behind him.

Clover crossed his arms behind his back. “Alright. Now that you’re all currently benched from active duty, I recommend you all rest up. Maybe take a walk around Atlas and see it from a civ’s perspective, it’s not the worst place in the world.”

Nora practically growled at him as Ruby felt her hopes and dreams come crashing down around her with the same sick feeling she had when she spotted Fiona Thyme’s blood on her gloves. “Captain- uh, Clover, is there really nothing we can do about this?”

Clover looked at her and shook his head. “Sorry, kid. Ironwood may not care about his reputation, but he cares about yours and Penny’s. Distancing you from all of this is the best way to keep you out of more trouble, and the best way to keep Mantle from rioting even more.”

“We can’t cause a panic.” Ren summed it up as he stood, clasping his hands behind his back.

“Pretty much. Mind if Marrow and I have a word?” Clover gestured vaguely at the door, hinting that they should leave.

Ruby tried to think of something else to say, some sort of defence for her Huntress licence, and came up empty. Her cheeks burned with guilt and loss and humiliation and anger as she walked out, pulling out her scroll as she watched the button to access her licence flicker away.

Her scroll buzzed with missed messages and she opened them, hearing Nora starting to prod Ren into trying to talk about something. Ruby didn’t really want to hear it.

She opened Weiss’s message first. Winter, Harriet and I are on a convey escort mission. I’ll see you tomorrow.

Okay. So no Weiss when she went back to the dorms. Everyone must have been assigned missions. Except for her and Ren and Nora. She opened the message from Yang, wondering if maybe it was her sister checking in after what happened. She could really use talking to her big sis right now.

Instead all she got was a quick Hey sis! Blake and I are out killing Grimm today. The rave was awesome! Looks cool, right?

The picture popped up. A selfie of Yang and Blake at the rave, with giant grins and complete carelessness about the election that had been on. Like there hadn’t been people dying in Mantle. Like Penny hadn’t just been made out to be a murderer. Like Ruby hadn’t spent the night fighting Grimm. Like Tyrian hadn’t looked directly at her and laughed just like he had when he’d been about to take out her eye.

She clenched her shaking fist and closed her scroll, putting it back in her pocket before she was tempted into throwing it across the hall. She tuned back into the world in time to hear the tail end of Nora speaking.

“- but you liked it!”

“So what, Nora? That didn’t give you any right to kiss me in the first place. I said I was unsure of things, I said I didn’t want to discuss things at a political rally, and you ignored that.” Ren’s calm voice bordered on a snap, enough to make Ruby cringe in sympathy for Nora. “Now. If you’ll excuse me, I would like some time to myself.”

Nora looked like she was about to grab him as he walked away, before pulling her hand back and storming past Ruby.

So now she was alone. And she didn’t know where Penny was. And her team were all off saving the world while she was stuck there, as a civilian.

She pulled her hood up and wrapped her cloak around her, picking a random direction and just walking on the basis that she’d find her way out eventually. She didn’t care how long that eventually was, as long as she didn’t have to go out into the world where she wasn’t a Huntress

Maybe she was right not to trust Ironwood after all, if he was willing to do this to an ally.

------------------

“I’m not going to lie, I expected better.” At those words, Marrow had to stop his tail from tucking. Yep. He figured he was going to get reamed out for how badly he screwed up.

“I understand.” He’d been assigned solo with Penny to keep people from causing trouble, and instead there’d been a massacre. All he’d done was radio for back up. That scorpion guy, Tyrian, had been too fast for Marrow to get a lock on for closing the distance to snag him with Fetch’s bladed edge.

Basically? Total screw up, and it could all pretty much be laid at his feet for being the superior officer there. He was lucky he was getting off with a suspension and not a full discharge from the military.

He blinked and realised whoops Clover was still talking and he’d missed part of it. Probably the part where Clover was listing off his failures or something, it probably wasn’t important.

Clover continued like Marrow hadn’t completely zoned on him.  “I don’t want you going anywhere near Mantle while you’re benched. After using your semblance on the crowd and on Robyn’s Huntresses, you’ve probably gotten a target on your back.”

He hadn’t wanted to use his semblance like that. Not on people who were meant to be allies, or people he was protecting. He just knew that they had to get Penny out of there, and they couldn’t let it turn into a brawl. He’d had tremors in his hand for an hour after, and his headache was still humming annoyingly behind his eyes. “It was the quickest way to avoid the situation from escalating.”

“I know, Marrow. Just be careful. I don’t want to hear you’ve gotten yourself killed.” Clover looked him in the eyes, emerald green boring through him. “And don’t go looking for Tyrian.”

“I’m not gonna-” He’d been entertaining the thought. A lot. “I won’t go hunting him down.”

“Good. I’ll try make sure that this can count as paid leave.” Clover patted him on the shoulder. “Look out for yourself, Marrow. Once you’re reinstated I’ll need you back on missions ASAP.”

“Yes sir.” He gave him a lazy two-fingered salute. “Permission to be excused?”

“I’m not your superior for now, scram.” Clover chuckled and pointed at the door. “Just watch your tail, got it?”

“Got it.” Clover meant well with that one, he knew it. He’d heard a lot worse. He decided to brush off the tail comment and stepped outside, going down the hall and around the corner before he sagged against the wall, gripping his right hand tight.

Damn it. He’d really screwed the pooch on this one.

Great, now he was making dog puns.

He pulled out his scroll and decided to see if one of the restaurants that allowed Faunus was open today, he could use some comfort food. He didn’t even bother trying to look at anything else on his scroll, like the news, or his messages. That would all be a problem for Future Marrow. Current Marrow was gonna get some damn breakfast and crash out for a nap. Anxiety and guilt later. Food now.

He started towards the exit of the facility when he spotted Ruby standing in the corridor, her hood up and her cloak falling around her, looking like she had no idea what to do with herself.

“Hey, Ruby, you okay?” He’d seen her face after what happened. She’d been terrified, horrified, stunned, pretty much everything that he’d felt as well.

She turned around and pulled her hood back, her silvery eyes bright with sorrow. She really was young. And the Ace Ops called him a kid. “I’m fine,” she very clearly lied.

He wouldn’t push it. They were acquaintances, more than anything. Ace Ops didn’t do friendship. “Cool. I’m gonna go get breakfast, I know a place. Wanna come with?”

Ruby blinked at him with those big eyes. “Yeah. Okay. I could eat.”

“Cool.” He linked his hands behind his head, trying to project some sort of cheer to try help her calm down a bit too and get both their minds off last night. “You’ll like this place, not only is it Faunus-friendly, it’s got the best cinnabons ever, and the coffee’s way better than that military crap and-”

“Do you think Penny’s okay?” Ruby cut through his ramblings.

He paused, tail drooping. “I don’t know. I doubt it. But… you’re still her friend. You don’t need to be a Huntress to help a friend through tough times. Right?”

“I guess.” Ruby pushed her hair back out of her face in a futile attempt to keep it from falling over her right eye. She didn’t quite smile, but it wasn’t exactly a frown either, so it was a bit of an improvement. “So… cinnamon buns?”

“Best ones I’ve found.” He got the door and held it open, following her out as Atlas Academy towered above.

[nicoletterogers]

task eight - high school never ends

( tw: adhd mention )

[ soundtrack ]

Let’s start with the simple stuff first. what classes did you take in high school? which ones were you most and least excited for? did you have a favorite teacher that made the days more enjoyable?

Nic propped her leg up on a chair, leaning in as she listened to the question. People never wanted to talk about high school--brought up bad memories for some. Some just didn’t care. Not for Nic--comparatively, high school was a good part of her life. She preferred college, but she didn’t hate her last years in the public school system. The blonde shrugged. “Well, I mean--I had to take the core classes, y’know? But my high school was big enough where we had a lot of really cool electives in all sorts of subjects--like I once took a class called ‘American History through Music”’and that was sick as fuck. I also took one on the World Wars. I liked history a lot back then. I guess I still do--but I don’t have a lot of time to sit and learn anymore. That’s why I’m big on documentaries. I mean, yeah, Liam of course--but also I like learning.” She paused, humming while she thought about her classes. “I hated English. Like what a pointless class--why would you have to learn about a language that you already speak? I mean, yes, i know, it’s not actually important. I think Lia has shared with me a few times the joy of what words mean--but i don’t know. I just never could figure out why anyone would want to spend more time than they had to writing papers or reading books. Maybe if i had taken a creative writing course or two--but nah. Give me AP Gov any day--or even trig. I was good at trig.” She paused. “Nah, teachers liked Liam. He was charismatic and charming, good at sitting and listening. School was never hard for me, but I didn’t possess the talent of sitting still for very long. I think I was...a sophomore in college when I first got diagnosed with ADHD. Did you know that ADHD often shows up different in women than men?” Nic nodded. “Yeah--its wild. Girls are significantly less likely to get a diagnosis growing up, which means that their symptoms go untreated and unsupported for crazy long periods of time--like sometimes 20 years. I think that’s why I really struggled in English--because the subject didn’t interest me and like hell i could just sit there and read something. But nah, teachers and I never bonded. Which is fine because I still did well in school. It just took some extra effort.”

and now, outside of the classroom. did you participate in any extracurricular activities like sports, band, or other clubs? were you apart of the prom planning committee or did your parent always sign up to chaperone field trips? or did you bolt home or to work at the end of the day?

“Oh hell yes. I was all about the extracurriculars. I did archery, cheerleading--don’t laugh--worked on the school newspaper for a year, managed the lacrosse team for a year, volunteered to be a mentor for incoming freshman and, of course, worked. Anything to stay out of my house. I mean, I loved Liam but my dad and I are like oil and water. He wanted me to be like Liam so badly--and I just...couldn’t. One, I wasn’t a guy--and that was disappointment enough for him. But I wasn’t Liam and spending time around dad just...it was so much pressure. So I tried to focus my time elsewhere. and I liked being busy--my brain enjoyed that piece. It was like my environment finally matched how fast my brain was working. Even cheerleading--the sport that made me a wear a skirt--was fun. Because nothing is better than proving a bunch of stupid high school boys that yes, cheerleading is a sport. a hardcore, badass sport. But if I had to pick a favorite, it would be archery. I think it’s because I got to teach it to the kiddos at camp later on, but also--like how powerful is it to be able to pull back on a bow and let an arrow fly through the sky and get a bullseye? Like it’s badass.” Nic grins at the memory. “Oh, and then seeing those kids at camp--especially the ones who struggle with who they are and their self-confidence--light up when they hit the target? the pride they have in themselves for something they’ve done? That shit’s an unreal high.” 

a night to remember. did you go to prom? if so, did you have a date or fly solo, and was it a good time where you danced all night, and what were you wearing? if not, did you have an ‘anti-prom’ party, or why else did you decide not to go? what about other school dances or pep rallies?

The blonde lets out a laugh and nods, thinking about the memory. “Oh yeah-- I definitely went to prom. I mean, I think I was always going to--but I don’t think I anticipated having a date. And definitely not winning prom queen, but that’s Malik for you. The kid was like the closest thing to a celebrity in school--I mean, I think so. He was the star jock and you know how high schoolers get about their sports. But no, Malik and I are good friends--super close. I love that guy, he’s such a good one. So of course I was going to say yes when he asked me to go with him. I’m pretty sure half of my squad was jealous, but like...that whole thing never made sense to me. The whole jealousy thing.” It sure as hell does now though. She thought bitterly, her own situation appearing back in her mind. “Anyway, we went as friends. I didn’t expect to win prom queen--hell, i didn’t even know people knew who I was. Weirdest experience ever to put a tiara on. But honestly--prom was kinda fun. Not kinda, I really enjoyed it. Malik and I did end up kissing, but it was one of those kisses where you realize, at the end of it, you’re way better off as friends than anything more? Not that the kiss was bad, not at all.” She laughed, shaking her head. “I wore this red dress with a slit up the side and I had never in my entire life though I’d wear something like that. It looked good though. Like really good. All that cheerleading paid off I think.” Another chuckle came out of her lips. “As for pep rallies-- I was in them so of course I was there. And I liked the energy of them. I’ve always liked big energy spaces--concerts, pep rallies, sporting events. It feels like--at least for a moment--you’re all connected by something greater than yourself. Maybe that’s like my church. I don’t know. But yeah, I liked pep rallies.”

some more of the hard hitting q’s. who did you sit with at lunch? did you keep the lock off your locker or decorate it? were your headphones always snaked through your sneeve? was cutting class a normal occurrence or would you never dare? did you ever get detention?

“I mean, I don’t think I was ever popular--but I always had a place to sit with someone. It was either with Liam and his friends--I guess they were also my friends, but I met them through Liam so it’s hard for me to associate them as just mine. Sometimes with my squad, but not often. I didn’t care for the dramatics of dates and boys and clothing talk. But every so often we had a good discussion on things that I did care about--sometimes it was on women’s rights, though that was a lot of Sammi repeating what her mother told her about feminism (not that it was wrong, but it wasn’t Sammi’s words, that was sure) or the fact that child workers were making the clothing they had talked about the previous day. I liked those conversations the best. But even still, it was usually me shooting the shit with Liam and our friends. I loved those guys so much, y’know? I still keep in touch with a lot of them--some have families, some just got married. In fact, I am going to Tate’s wedding in a couple weeks. Its so weird to think they’re just now getting married and...” She trailed. Maybe now wasn’t the time for that thought. “Detention? Oh yeah. Me and Mrs. Huxley were good pals by graduation. Mostly it was about cutting class--but everyone once in a while she’d catch me with a...special someone in an empty hallway. Ok, so it only happened twice and I never told Liam because he’d kill me if he knew. So I guess,” She looked up at the sky and chuckled lightly. “Surprise?” 

upward and onward. what did you want to be when you were sixteen? was there a career path in mind, a certain college, another route worth taking? were you excited to see your high school in the rearview mirror or was moving on bittersweet?  if you graduated, was it scary or exciting or a mix of both? did you end up where your younger self expected you to?

"Well, when I was really little, I wanted to be a sideline reporter for the Bears. Or a commentator for the Cubs. Something to do with sports, absolutely. I could never imagine leaving this city--not in a million years. Even at 31, the city still surprises me daily and i love that fact the most. You never know who you’re going to meet--its a giant present box you wake up in every morning. How could anyone want to leave that?” She grinned, tapping her foot. “But at 16 I think I had let go of that dream and set my sights on the Academy. Police academy. I did, briefly, think about enlisting. Thought that if I wanted to break stereotypes and gender roles, I could make a huge splash in the military. But something about that whole world--I couldn’t take the plunge. I think I wanted to support my community, keep them safe, make my home a home for all.” She sighed. “So I was going to be a cop. Plus Liam was already doing that and I couldn’t let him have all the hero glory.” She winked, smirking. “I stayed in state--in city--for school, saved me some money and I already knew the area. In fact, I didn’t really ever leave Chicago. Which, makes me small minded to some i’m sure--but why do I need to leave when the world seems to flock to chicago? Just because I never lived anywhere else doesn’t mean I haven’t been challenged to grow.” Nic shrugged. “But yeah, like I said college was probably my favorite time in my life. Like hands down. I mean how could it not be? Killed the beer pong scene, met all sorts of great people, honed my skee ball skills even more, learned some awesome things, found the love of my life--got married.” It was so much simpler at 20. So much simpler. When did everything go so wrong? “Yeah, sorry--this was about high school. Uhm--wait, what was the question again?”

and last but not least. if you could tell your younger self one thing - what would it be?

“You’re a strong cookie, Nic. Life is going to wreck you down to your core but don’t ever think it’ll destroy you. You’re too damn stubborn to let that happen--and that is not a bad thing.”

[headcans-oneshots-and-stuff]

Those Comics | Chapter One

Marvel/DC crossover x reader Warnings: Swearing and reallllllly, reallllllly bit of Angst (not really) Word count: 3353  Summary: When a sparring session with Wanda goes wrong, you find yourself in a really familiar, but still strange place... Series: You’re here | Chapter Two | Chapter Three

"Why are you always reading those comics? Don't they get boring after some time?" Tony asked coming into the living room where you sat upside down on a fluffy, grey armchair, reading the Gotham Academy comic that you've already read thousands of times. "I'll stop reading 'those comics' when you stop listening to AC-DC," you replied with a smirk on your lips, not looking up from the page you were currently on. "That-...That's not the same thing," he defended himself. "Yep, it is," Peter interfered from the bar in the corner in the room, where he worked on his Spanish-homework. With your eyes on the graphics in front of you, you didn't see how Tony mouthed 'Traitor' at Peter, but Peter just shrugged. You were like his older sister and he would always stand behind you, no matter what. "But...you're a superhero yourself and you live in a building full of other superheroes. Why do you need to read about them?" Knowing that you couldn't continue reading in peace you set the comic down and teleported it into your Bookshelf. "I always loved it. It was the only thing I cared for besides my lab and...after the incident...Well, I just wanted to have a little bit normality," you said, looking at the ceiling. Tony knew better than to say anything. Every Avenger knew that talking about the 'incident' is an absolute no-go. Back when you were only 18 years old, only a few months after getting your first job at one of America's finest Laboratories, your whole life changed. You tried to impress your new employer and so you did everything in your power and managed to get blood samples of Captain America, Black Widow, Spider-man and even a little sample of Hulks blood and you had an explicit plan for them. No. You didn't want to create a superhuman who'll be able to destroy something, you just wanted to help people. You knew that all the heroes you had blood from had a faster healing capacity than the average human and you wanted to use this, but you were stupid and tried to do it alone. Long story short: Something exploded, you inhaled some stuff, you changed and now you have the typical super soldier powers (Strength, speed and fast healing) and, because of a little big bang that happened when the blood cells of the different heroes mixed and started to attack each other + heat + science, the power to teleport yourself and other things/people. After that, you got recruited by Natasha Romanov and since then you're a part of the Avengers and a part of the family. You considered Tony a father because he was always there for you and would move heaven and hell for you, Natasha a mother, because she'd never doubt you and would support you when you needed support, and Peter, Wanda, Pietro (and Shuri) your siblings. Of course, the rest was also family, but your relationship with those was especially strong. Tony cleared his throat beside you and you noticed that you spaced off. "Did you say something?" you asked him, raising your eyebrows. "Yes. I don't think it's healthy to sit with your head down for so long," he said with a hint of concern in his voice. Rolling your eyes, even though your head indeed began to hurt, you rolled yourself off of the armchair and stood up, glad that you weren't dizzy. "Miss Y/L/N, Miss and Mister Maximoff want me to tell you that they hoped you'd join training today," surprised you FRIDAY. You huffed, but answered: "Tell them I'll be there in five." You winked at Tony, who only chuckled and sat down, and went over to Peter to give him a kiss on his cheek. "When you're finished, you can take yourself a piece of the apple pie in the fridge-" you thought for a moment, "-you know what take two and give one to May. Greet her from me." Peter hugged you and said: "Will do. Go easy on Wanda and Pietro." "No promises," you giggled and teleported yourself into your room to put on your training clothes. 

Three minutes later you stood in the training Area, surveyed by Clint and Natasha, besides Wanda and Pietro, stretching yourself. "We'll start with 10 rounds," stated Natasha, which earned her a laugh from Piet, a chuckle from you and a groan from Wanda. As the only one without physic-enhancing-powers, she obviously had the most problems with that. All three of you went into the starting position when Natasha added: "For Wanda." Pietro and you looked at her confused, but she continued with a smirk: "10 rounds for Wanda, 25 rounds for Y/N and 100 rounds for Pietro. Friday counts." Now Wanda was the one to chuckle and you and Pietro the ones to groan. "Start," Nat shouted and all off you started. After two minutes Pietro wasn't visible anymore, you were already two and a half rounds in and Wanda just finished the first half of her first round, already looking exhausted. You finished your 25 rounds in seven minutes as the first, which was mostly because Pietro tried to cheat and Natasha gave him 50 extra rounds. He finished a few minutes after you and Natasha allowed Wanda to stop earlier because the young woman was already breathing heavily, while you and Piet didn't even break a sweat. When the young Sokovians breath calmed down, you once again stood in a line with Nat in front of you. "Now we're going to do some sparing. Powers are allowed, but nothing that could have serious long-term consequence." she stepped back and motioned at the boxing ring in the middle of the room, "Wanda against Y/N. First one on the floor loses." The both of you made your way in the ring and stood opposite each other with smiles on your lips. "Good luck," you winked at Wanda. "I'm going to need it. I've got a feeling that you won't go easy on me today," she chuckled with a hint of worry in her voice. "You're right," you said and immediately teleported behind her kicking in her knee-pits (not with your super-strength). She almost fell but used her powers to lift herself off of the ground and turned around in the process. What she didn't expect was that you already expected that and threw a punch directed at her face. Wanda lifted her hands trying to shield her face and the second your skin touched hers the red energy from her body wandered over to you. Everything around you blurred out and you could only remotely hear a gasp and your name being called. Panic and fear filled your head and you felt like you burned from the inside. The only thought that swam around in your head was that you wanted to be somewhere else. As far away as possible. And it seemed like your body fulfilled your wish because a second later the fear and panic was gone. You must have teleported yourself away. It took you a second to realize what was happening. You were falling. Fast. A look down told you that you were falling straight down onto the ground, but it seemed like you were still pretty far away. What only meant that you'd get faster, until you reach the fastest falling point and, considering your approximate height, would most likely start burning, because of the friction. And if that wouldn't happen you would definitely splash on the ground, hopefully not killing someone in the process. Maybe you would even survive those things. You hadn't tested the limits of your healing powers yet and you didn't plan on doing so now. You felt your body getting hotter and you could basically hear your life-count tick. You'd only had one idea. Use your teleportation. You closed your eyes and concentrated, but because you didn't know how high you were, you could only guess. A second later you reopened your eyes to be greeted by the ground being much closer. But still too far away for a human to survive, but before you could do something, you felt your body hitting the floor. You groaned in pain, while you lifted yourself off of the ground. A look at yourself told you that you had barely any wounds, but left quite a crater around you. "Shit," you mumbled and picked yourself off of the ground. Your whole outfit and most of the rest of your body was full of dust and earth. Your gaze wandered around the area around you. You've never seen this place. A few meters away stood a huge building that looked pretty old and you were thankful that you landed in the park behind it. Or was it the garden? You didn't know. With a huge leap, you jumped out off the hole and took your stark-phone out of your pocket. Since crashes weren't unusual in your 'job', Tony and Shuri together modified the normal stark-phone with Vibranium to make it basically indestructible. You turned it on and tried to call Nat to tell the others you were okay; only to hear a record of FRIDAY saying: "I'm sorry, but it seems like you have no connection. Please try again later." Confusion filled your eyes. No connection on a stark-phone? That was like saying: No water in a swimming pool. Weird... You put the phone back into your pocket and started to walk towards the old house- If someone lived in there they would've most likely heard the crash- and the nearer you came to it, the clearer you could hear different male voices discuss anything. You tried to find out where the voices came from and guessed that the people speaking came around the house. Your Avengers instinct took over and you teleported yourself on top of a huge tree that stood beside the path that leads around the house. "I bet it's one of the supers and they need our help with something," spoke a male voice. "As if. Clark and the others know how to use a phone," said another voice that sounded slightly younger. "TT. Could we hurry up a bit? If we continue to be so slow, whoever crashed in the backyard, will be gone," yet another voice said, but this person was definitely a child or a young teenager. "Calm down Demon-spawn." Wait...Demon-spawn? Somewhere in your mind, a little bell ringed, but you couldn't remember what your mind tried to tell you. The four people who talked finally came around the corner and all four looked similar (and kind of familiar). They all had black hair (except for one of the two older ones, who had a white streak in his hair) and were buff...well, as buff as they could be for their age. Two of them looked like they were in their (really) early twenties, one looked around 15/16 and the last one looked like 12. If you had to guess, you'd say they were brothers. Maybe they could tell you where you were. You jumped down from the three, superhero-landing for the win, and cleared your throat. The boys turned around immediately. "Hey...äh...sorry about the crater in your garden...that's kinda my fault. Could you boys tell me where I landed?" you asked with a nice smile on your lips. The boys changed their stances and you recognized them as fighting stances. "Guys, believe me, you don't wanna fight me. I got here by accident and I don't plan on staying long. I'd just like to know where I am, so that I know how long the way back home is," you said, but also shifted your feet into a more fighting-like position. "Who are you?" asked the guy with the white streak while he narrowed his eyes. "I'm Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N. And you?" you answered, trying to stay positive. Now a look of confusion made its way onto the faces of the boys. "You...You don't know us?" the 15-year-old asked with one eyebrow raised. "Ähm. No. Sorry. As I said, I'm not from here." You shrugged your shoulders and tilted your head to the side, "Should I?" "We're the sons of Bruce Wayne. Everyone in Gotham knows who we are," said the youngest one and you couldn't help but start to laugh. Completely out of breath you laughed: "The...The sons...Of B-Bruce Wayne," before you started to laugh again. You looked at them, still giggling, before you turned serious and asked: "No, seriously. Who are you guys?" All of them looked at you like you were crazy and the youngest repeated: "The. Sons. Of. Bruce. Wayne." Your eyes wandered over their faces, searching for a hint of sarcasm, but they found nothing. "You...You're serious?" you asked, while the bell in your head ringed louder and louder. The old house, The 'Supers', Clark, Demon-Spawn, The sons of Bruce Wayne...could it be? Before someone could answer your question, you pointed to the one with the streak. "Jason?" He nodded and your finger wandered to the next grown up. "Dick?" He did it like Jason and nodded. The next person was Tim and the kid was Damian. When you found that out, you buried your hands in your hair. "Oh Shit, Oh Shit, Oh Shit. That's not possible. I can't be here. That shouldn't happen. That can't happen," you rambled and started to pace in front of the Waynes, who all looked at you like you were crazy. You stopped and opened your arms in a sweeping gesture. "I can't be talking with three freaking ex- and the current Robin," you whined, but immediately slapped your hand in front of your mouth. If the comics were right than the Batfam was really sensitive when it came to their secret identities. You were right, then a second later Jason rushed over to you with a raised fist, ready to fight. "Really?" you mumbled and dodges his punch, grabbing his arm and sweeping his feet away with your right foot. When he laid groaning on the floor, you turned to his brothers. "You know, fighting me is-" you started, but got interrupted by the other three who now came at you. Tim came from the left and Dick from the right, while Damien came from the front. You rolled your eyes and teleported yourself away, which ended in the three off them running into each other and landing groaning on top of Jason. "-Useless," you finished your sentence, leaning against the tree you sat in earlier. Damian was the first one to stand again and without hesitation, he came at you. "I know you got trained by the league of assassins and everything, but you're not the only one who had some bad-ass-trainers," you said, which made him stop for a second. You shrugged. "Ever heard of the Avengers? Are we the comic characters here?" Now Damian stopped completely and Dick, Tim and Jason stood also up beside him. "You mean the superhero-group with the rich guy, the Monster and the spider-dude?" Tim asked with a hint of sarcasm in his voice. "First off; Yes. Second: Bruce isn't a monster, the spider-dude is called spider-man and it's not like your father isn't also a rich superhero dude. The only difference is that Tony doesn't hide his identity and that he's way more fun to work with." "So...you're saying that you're an Avenger, and with that, a comic character," asked Dick again. "Yep. You maybe know me under my superhero-pseudonym: Glitch. I'm the girl that tried to help people and got caught in a laboratory-accident which ended in me having powers..well-" you scratched your chin, "-now that I think about it there are at least twenty heroes in both of our universes that have that kind of story...Flash, Bruce also somehow..." You stopped yourself and shrugged. "But back to the topic. I was training with Wan- well you most likely know her as scarlet which, Black Widow, Hawkeye and Quicksilver. Things escalated a little bit and I kind of teleported myself here," you tilted your head again and mumbled: "I never knew that I could teleport between Universes." You turned to the boys again and saw the confusion in their faces, which soon turned into a smirk on Tim's lips. "You're Glitch. I love your comics. There was such a hype when you revealed that you're Pan," he squealed and you scratched the back of your neck. "I only told that my closest friends..." "Yeah, but it was in the comic and with that everyone who reads it knows it." "Great," you mumbled and rubbed your temples. "Why are you telling us all that?" interrupted Jason before Tim was able to freak out again. You smirked and shrugged. "I'm a fan of your stories and I made sure to know kind of everything about you and your universe, so I guess it's only fair if I'm honest with you." "So...are you able to teleport yourself back to your universe?" Damian asked a little bit grumpy, not caring for your statement. "I don't know...but I can try." You took a deep breath and closed your eyes concentrating on your home. You reopened your eyes and looked around and saw the boys still looking at you. "Nope. Maybe Universal-jumps need more energy...I'll try again later-" your eyes widened in hope, "-Can you introduce me to the justice league?"

(In the Marvel Universe, shortly after you disappeared)

"What have I done?" Wanda sobbed with her face in her hands while Pietro patted her back, also with tears pricking in his eyes. Both of them and almost all of the other Avengers were gathered in the main lab, while Bruce and Tony tried to locate you with the help of multiple satellites. After they had finally managed to defeat Thanos and bring back all the victims of the snap, becoming stronger as a team while doing so, all of them were kind of reliant on you. You were the one who kicked their ass when they started doubting themselves, and you were the one who held them when they cried or panicked about the whole freaking situation, never letting your shell burst in the process. You somehow became the heart of the Avengers. That was why everyone was on edge when Nat told them what had happened. They all worried about you since you normally teleported back in a matter of minutes, but now you've been gone for almost half an hour, and no one had an idea where you could be. "Anything on the Satellites?" asked Carol who was practically buzzing with energy. "No. Nothing, not even a trace. It looks like she isn't even on earth," Tony sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "Do you mean, she's on another planet?" asked Thor who was practically buzzing with energy. "I am saying, that I have no fucking clue where she is!" exclaimed Tony loudly, making most people in the room flinch. It wasn't usual for Tony to freak out like this, he was always calm and tried to make everything funny, but all of them knew how worried he was about you. After he had lost Peter, even though he came back, his mind played games with him, making him worry about losing one of his un-official kids again. "We'll find her, we need to," Carol said, laying her hand on Tony's shoulder to reassure him. "I'll go and ask some of my intergalactic contacts if they know something." She said, before nodding at the rest of the Team and jumping out of the window, flying towards the sky. "I'll see if I can find some spells to search her," Stephen announced and disappeared through one of his portals. One after one they all made their way to either find you or to save people, since they all know, that you wouldn't want them to neglect the people who needed them until only Tony was left in his lab, looking at a picture of you on his holo-desk. "Where are you?" he mumbled to himself, his glance wandering to the window, where the sun was slowly dawning. He had no idea of the adventure that was coming towards him and his family.

[simply-ellas-stuff]

Batwoman Episode Three Talk *Spoilers*

Are we not doing the normal Arrowverse monologue? I miss it. The diary narration is cool but... I miss the opening monologue.

Nightmare flashbacks, I wonder who the fuck Beth was living with? Who turned her into Alice? Did Alice live with a serial killer?

Who the fuck is running Wayne Enterprises besides Luke & Kate??

Hand puppets to get Batwoman's attention, childish.

Alice is blunt as fuck, Horny for Batman, did she take notes from Bo from Lost Girl.

Why does Alice have a boyfriend in the first place?

Negotiations? Innocent peoples lives for a boyfriend? Sounds weird but nice try.

Is Kate the Younger Twin?

Does Beth have split personality? Alice is the girl she became to protect herself from her hellish post-accident life but Beth is buried somewhere inside her mind??

Fucking commercials always indicate someone dying. Poor fellow.

Elliot Estates? Dumb name.

Training with your husband while thinking of your ex-girlfriend you never told him about?  Go. To. Therapy. Sophie boxing? With her husband? I guess that's healthy? I mean, if they were working on their own personal issues instead of Sophie's issues with Kate... maybe.

Commander must adore Soph to be that much of a considerate shade of Asshole. Also because Soph is too blunt for them to not be close in some way.

Why is Soph wanting to protect Mary? Its not going to get her closer to Kate.

Vesper, you beautifully voices woman!

Mary is a sweetheart, and decent at acting drunk/hungover to safe face for her clinic.

Mary is so fucking sassy to her sister's ex-girlfriend.

Why blame Commander Kane for your idea Soph?!

Kate getting defensive over the desk, aww.

Tommy Elliot is already a cunt before he showed up at that desk.

'Candy Kane' would be a cute nickname, if this guy didn't immediately give me a bad feeling.

Fuck Tommy for bringing that shit up to Kate like it doesn't already fuck her up. How the fuck does Tommy Elliot know Bruce is Batman?

Tommy Elliot wants to prove he's the most damaged, bigger ego-ed, richer, jerkwad of Gotham. And instead he goes psycho. Kate was right, Bruce's is bigger - He didn't go psycho. Even though, that comment was inappropriate but also forgivable given how she was attacking his ego not the physical aspects of Tommy vs Bruce. Metaphorical not realistical.

Wayne Tech, how the fuck is it still up and running?

I like how they reference weapons and explain them in a slightly normal way before Kate uses them later.

Pretty sure the dummy and faux blood and spray paint was Tommy Elliot, not anyone else.

Is there a Tommy Elliot Comic Counterpart that becomes a villain?

Vesper sassing Batman is fucking hilarious.

Mary checking out that guy and Soph interrupting it, cockblock.

Soph grilling Mary for information about Kate is fucked

Luke yelling while wearing the noise cancelling headset is cliche but funny. I wonder if they had to have Ruby say screaming because her accent came out too much when she said Yelling.

A gun that can penetrate the Batsuit? Why in the fuck would that exist without a fail safe?

Kate feeling the sting of being hit with a bullet while not actually being in the suit, she's already formed a relationship with the suit even though she refused to take up the mantle.

Kate sassily decides to go ask Tommy about knowing about Bruce and Batman only to be shocked about Luke telling her to put on the suit.

I still wanna know how Alice broke into the Kane house.

She messily puts in the lipstick, finds the perfume gross smelling, wears a crow uniform, Licks a cupcake and puts it back, downs a martini, reads the invite, smashes the family picture, kills a crow that knows her name with no hesitation but mocks Kate's disappointment. All of these acts seem to mean something to her, and I wonder what that is.

I still wanna know how Alice broke into the Kane house.

Why is Alice dicking around in a crows house??

Why did Alice kill him? and How did he know her name??

She messily puts in the lipstick, finds the perfume gross smelling, wears a crow uniform, Licks a cupcake and puts it back, downs a martini, reads the invite, smashes the family picture, kills a crow that knows her name with no hesitation but mocks Kate's disappointment. All of these acts seem to mean something to her, and I wonder what that is.

Kate looks hot as fuck - Hair a little less upwards, one singular dangle earring, p/leather leggings or jeggings, black over-sized suit jacket, a lacy shirt, heeled boots (that i'm pretty sure are from Hot topic? with the metal backing on the heels), Minimal dark make up, one singular shiny bracelet/watch, and her tattoos peaking out. Why did Sophie marry a man again?

The fucking shock, confusion, and pure "what the fuck" that crossed Kate's mind when she stepped into the elevator lmfao. Great acting on Ruby's part.

Mary's facial expression then Kate's "I’m sorry" makes me aww. Did anyone else think the conversation about "Go radio silent on socials" was actually code about the Clinic in a way?

Awkward fucking elevator ride, Love the broke tension Mary.

The blond is pretty. I think I have a similar, longer version of her dress. I'd definitely let Ruby Rose check me out like Kate did Reagan.

Tyler you poor unsuspecting fool.

I'd love it if Reagan is telepathic, like a meta human, and that's how she knew that stuff. Bartenders can be good but, she was a little too spot on with Kate.

I love how Kate was impressed by Reagan pouring herself a shot, like she didn't expect it.

Tyler and Kate talking makes me feel... sad for Tyler. Soph never told her husband she secretly fucked Kate Kane at the academy.

Reagan is hot, and if Kate doesn't fuck around with her - I will.

Daddy Kane and Kate Kane have similar taste in people, they both hate Tommy.

I love how Kate brings up twin intuition even though she made a deal, and her father walked a way uncomfortable because he can't bear the idea of Alice being Beth.

Kate setting her sights on Tommy, she looked hot albeit out of place.

Mary trying to convince her mom to let her have more elbow room, just so she can sneak out to her clinic.

Tommy is a fucking dickbag "took five years but I'm finally looking down on Bruce Wayne", You are competing with someone who you already won against - you have your parents, family, the weight taken off your shoulders, a fuck ton of money, and could have any girl you want. Fuck the fuck off.

Kate's "Here I thought I was his favorite cousin, not even a phone call" was so well said as to point out she knows Bruce better than Tommy thinks he does. It was subtle, sarcastic, but right on the money.

Nice lie Kate, make him find the gun even though your bullshitting. Nice, very 'Oliver Queen' of you. I'm proud, sure he would be too.

Fucking Bach. Can people pick another one of his songs, its the same fucking one in ever fucking movie and show. Pick something different, or fuck just pick a different artist all together.

Alice tormenting Commander with the instrument, the song, and just toying with the idea that she might really be his daughter makes me laugh for some reason, its oddly well thought out. She will get in his head though, eventually.

Alice bearing the disappointment and heartbreak Beth felt being left behind... heart shattering.

King of the Crows... he should become scarecrow... maybe.

Alice just casually waltzed away from the window, sifted through the box, and the likely promptly ditched the fuck outta there.

That box is all of Beth's life, and Alice still feels the pain of it.

Maybe Alice is to Beth what Frost is to Caitlin? At least she saw the search Map.

Aww poor Mary basically getting dragged away  by her guards.

Kate... you smart girl, following him right to the gun. That conversation about Tommy being less than. Tommy is psychotic in every aspect.

Tommy talked to the fucking Riddler?! The Riddler knows Bruce's identity? [If they follow the Gotham story line that kinda makes sense]

Tommy hates his mom that much? The fuck

Kate didn't expect him to have a contingency plan to draw Batman out... not smart sweets.

Kate immediately going to help the victims is why she's a good hero.

I wonder how many people actually did in that fall, we only saw a handful still moving during Kate and Mary's scenes with them.

Kate's concern for people is what makes her a hero, she even apologizes to the man she pulls attention too. Her obsession with Alice/Beth, her dedication to Bruce, her hatred towards Batman then forgiveness towards him, her affection of Sophie, all of that doesn't matter. Her heart does.

Tyler had the worst fucking timing, you are stuck in an elevator, have this martial spat in private in your home. Shut the fuck up.

Step Mom Kane doesn't seem as maternal as she acts, she also seems to be rooting for someone's death... get a divorce.

Mary and Soph would be cute friendship - if Soph wasn't in a triangle.

Luke and Kate having a heart to heart with honesty towards Bruce ever coming back.

Mary saves a life like a bawse!!

Where did they get the spray paint from? Did Luke spray it or did Kate? Where did they get a wig? Did they go shopping while this time limit is happening.

Dicking with Tommy by 'flying' around him, how "Flash/Firestorm vs Tokamak" of you. I fucking 🎶Love🎶 it.

Did she seriously Now get a voice changer? Her voice seems edited whereas with Dodgson it wasn't.

[[I keep getting Ads for The Tomorrow People, should I watch it? Is it any good??]]

Batman's side piece? Gross.

She forgot to charge the glove... cute. She's still learning.

She just stabbed him in the leg... I think they cut Luke's question of "What are you doing?" because her "Stalling" sounded like an answer not a confirmation.

She saves her Dad and Stepmom, without knowing whose in the elevator, but lets the other elevator drop... she didn't know it was empty??

She forgot to charge the glove?! LMFAO I'd do that!

Kick his ass Kate!!!!!

She saves her dad, but let the other elevator drop not knowing if there were other people in it???

He's so psychotic that he literally steps on her hand.

Alice to the rescue!!!

"and im the crazy one" I love that. She's literally insane yet the red wig is the drawn line lmfao.

Alice saving Kate makes me happy.

She took off the cowl yet has almost perfect hair... woman. really mess up you hair!! You'd probs looks hot as fuck.

Kate's appreciation of Alice saving her life only for Alice to crash the moment. Kate wants her to leave to keep her safe yet Alice is annoyed.

The red being the color of the birthstone is a nice poetic touch.

Alice ruined the moment again, jerk.

Alice touching Kate's face is probably because she hasn't seen her in so fucking long its a wonderment for her to feel her sister again when their Twins and have been connected their whole lives.

The laugh about the wig having roots, nice joke Alice.

Kate trying to talk Alice back into Beth.

So Alice wants Kate to stop thinking of her as Beth? But she was willing to prove she is actually Beth by cutting her palm? Alice really does seem like Season Four Killer Frost "Beth is gone"/"I'm not Caitlin"

Sending Tommy to Arkaham... Smart.

Reagan is cute, I love how she was worried for Kate whom she just met and Kate checked in on her. I love the bluntness between the two!! Please tell me she isn't a bad guy!

Is Soph really jealous?? She's fucking married?! Soph, don't be jealous, your married. Mary slap her for us.

Two of Hearts, Eight of Cloves, and Three of Diamonds?? What does Alice, Catherine, and those numbers/cards have in common?

Commander Kane is finally starting to believe!!! Yes! Catherine, you do not live up to the legacy of your name you dick.

Batlady? Batchick? Really?! Did Sophie call that name in? otherwise it won't stick...

I hope Soph phoned in that name, otherwise we'll end up with something stupid.

Sophie definitely knows that Kate is Batwoman.

When is the reference episode to the Arrowverse cross over going to happen? I need to know and understand the fucking timeline.

I kinda think that Alice is Beth's alter, like she had disassociative identity disorder and Alice is her protector. That's why Alice remembers being Beth but "Beth is gone" because Younger Beth is 'asleep' in their shared mind or too afraid to come out yet Alice is acting out with anger now because she had to go through the hell that she was made to protect Beth, Maybe as an alter she's resentful towards the host? Is that possible? Maybe she blames Beth but because she can't hurt her, she hurts her family via payback and revenge.

☆Side Note:: I watched this episode only twice instead of my normal three, I've been a bit busy -Which is also why this is a day later than it has been-, so excuse me if anything is wrong or they explained something in the episode☆

[rwbyremnants]

WARNING: Watersports (heavy emphasis), facials.

NOTE: Last Dustmas is entirely written by NaughtyButWeiss, and could basically be taken as a canon sequel to Dustmas Cookies or non-canon, however you choose to view it really. Thanks again to RuBee for helping to make this happen! If you’re interested in requesting something look us up on Tumblr for details (to be posted soon, we promise)! Happy Dustmas!

----------------------

A year had passed for Ruby and Blake. A year of minor trials and tribulations, struggling to figure out who they were to each other while at Beacon Academy. Everything settled eventually – especially now that they were out to most of their friends. That helped in bucketloads.

They were doing their best to console Yang this year. Weiss had been called home to Atlas to celebrate with her family, despite her numerous protests that she would rather spend that time with her friends. To make matters worse, they had just gotten in a fight the day classes ended because Yang was begging her to come out to them so they would understand. In Weiss’s words, “If I do that I might as well be saying goodbye to the Schnee family forever,” which had led to a whole new realm of bickering. Less than a fun holiday sendoff.

“Awww, come on, help me with these popcorn chains.”

Yang barely uttered a “mmm” as her sister nudged her. Blake shrugged helplessly as she kept running the needle and thread through more pieces of popcorn.

“Well… okay, what about if we put on your favourite Dustmas movie? Oh No I’m Alone 2: Lost In…”

“Lost In Atlas? Yeah, maybe not right now.”

Shoot. Ruby definitely hadn’t meant to remind her of Weiss yet again; she couldn’t help that the movie was set where her girlfriend was, practically on the other side of the world. Still, she had put her foot in her mouth and decided to leave it shut for now.

“Maybe we should go out caroling,” Blake suggested softly, trying for a small smile. Hoping to cheer up her battle partner. “Get out of here for a while and see the rest of Patch – maybe show me around Signal?”

“You saw Signal last time.” After a second or two, Yang sighed and looked back and forth between those two. “And Dad’s up there right now, and I just… maybe I’ll go spar with him. You two should just hang out here and ignore me.”

Both of her teammates wrapped arms around hers on either side, cuddling in slightly. “But we want you to have a good holiday!” Ruby protested. “Eggnog? Cocoa? Mulled cider? Oh – cookies always cheer you up!”

Finally, her big sister cracked a smile. “No, cookies always cheer you up. You don’t need me as an excuse to make them.” Then she reached up to ruffle Ruby’s hair, earning a little giggle. “But seriously, I’m gonna take off for a while. Let me brood and you guys have fun, and… I dunno. Maybe I can shake this mood eventually.”

“Alright, Yang,” Blake put in gently as she sat back to let Yang get up. “But we’re here if you need us.” She brandished her scroll warningly.

“Got it, loud and clear. Thanks, guys.”

Still, the heavy atmosphere hung over the two of them now that the usually-boisterous party girl was gone. They slowly started finishing the popcorn chain again.

“Well, this blows.”

“I know,” Blake sighed, eyes sad as her nimble fingers worked. “I really thought we could stick by Yang’s side and keep her from missing her girlfriend. But I mean, at least it’s a step up from throwing me into the snow.”

Ruby snorted and scooted closer to Blake. “Yep, she’s a big sister and a hothead. But she’ll cheer up, y’know? Weiss promised she’d call tonight, and would fly out for the new year, even though her dad is throwing a big fit. So like, compromises and stuff.”

With a little nod, Blake kept stringing as Ruby patted her thigh. She braced for impact. Any second now…

“Wait… Blake…”

“Yes?”

“Are you-” Ruby leaned over to peer up at Blake’s face. While Blake tried to look nonchalant, eyes pointed off toward the fireplace. “What the heck?!”

“Shh!” she hissed back, cheeks just starting to pinken. “Keep it down.”

“Why? Nobody else is here! Why are you like this now? Do you have some kinda thing for popcorn?!” Then she folded her arms. “Do you have a thing for my sister?”

“WHAT?! NO! I mean, she’s really hot, but that isn’t…” Sighing, she threw down the popcorn chain into the bowl. “You know they upped my dosage. I can’t help it if some days are different than others!”

It was true. Because Blake was born differently than most girls, she needed special medication to maintain her girlish figure; a mixture of herbal remedies and a couple of different varieties of Dust particles. T o offset the testosterone trying to reassert itself, they had increased her prescription from once a month to once every three weeks. There had been times since then where she had no interest in sex at all for days at a time. And then, at other times…

“So you literally are hard as a rock for no reason? Like, not even because I’m here?”

Blake shrugged awkwardly, thighs squirming and causing the bump in her shorts to shift . “I’m still crazy in love with you, but no, I wasn’t thinking about you or doing anything like that. And before you ask, no, I am not sexually attracted to popcorn.”

“Huh. So… I mean, would it be bad to take care of it? Or good? I dunno, since it’s because of the drugs…”

“I don’t think that part matters,” she snorted. “But you can ignore it. Even if it doesn’t go away, it’s no big deal.”

O f course, a second later Ruby got that same sneaky look on her face that she wore so often lately. Before they stole into a broom closet or under the bleachers again. Then her hand wrapped around the bulge and began to stroke.

“Mmhh… or we could take care of it,” Blake sighed, eyes closing as her hips twisted from side to side. “That’s… good, too… God, Ruby!”

Soon the bowl of popcorn was sitting on the side table and Blake was being jerked off in earnest by the younger girl. Ruby painted herself along her girlfriend’s side as her fingers finally worked that beautiful cock free of its confines, encircling it with just the right amount of pressure – as she had been learning over the past couple of years a little at a time. It was so warm and smooth in her hand, and her own heat was definitely starting to grow from knowing how much her Blake enjoyed this.

“You wanna… put it in me again?” she breathed huskily, eyes full of the promise of more.

“Mmm, Ruby...”

Instead of really answering, she just claimed her mouth, tangling their lips together as she was slowly stoked to blazing. Ruby moved to straddle her lap, mewling into the kisses in just the right way to make her unable to ignore. By now, they had evolved beyond condoms – because Blake wasn’t the only one with a prescription. The smaller of the two worked her own shorts aside and wasted no time sinking down on that gorgeous cock.

“NH! Oh wow… y-you’re so wet, why?”

“Because you feel good,” she squeaked, eyes screwing shut as she weathered the initial discomfort of being entered. She was still tight even after so long together, but if they worked up to it slower there was no discomfort at all. Trouble was, sometimes they were impatient. “Nnh! Oooh… yeeaahhh, there we go…”

All Blake could do was lean back and take it. Not that she was complaining. When their relationship had begun, she was very uncertain about taking a smaller, younger girl and “claiming” her – being the dominant party with the typically male equipment. Lucky Yang, her girlfriend was the same age and bossy, and both of them had the same equipment. More equality. However, Ruby had quickly shown her that she was just as enthusiastic in bed, and wanted to take charge all the time. She got just as excited about this as she did about fighting Grimm, or milk and cookies.

Maybe that was weird.

“Nnhh!” Ruby moaned as she rolled her hips harder, almost forcing Blake to start thrusting up and into her. “Ohhhh yeah – yeah, right there! Wow! S-so good!”

“Ruby!” she panted, already feeling the telltale tingles that signalled an end to their lovemaking. After a whole two seconds; how disappointing. But she forced herself to focus on gripping Ruby’s backside, thrusting harder while trying to think about Vytal Festival statistics to pull focus from how amazing it felt and delay her climax.

Their lips crashed against each other again, cutting off any further discussion. What was to talk about? Their bodies fit together perfectly and Ruby always felt perfect in her lap, with or without sex. The shifting ramped up until her girlfriend was literally bouncing on her cock, letting out a little squeak into the kiss with each landing until she couldn’t maintain the kiss.

“Blake! Holy shiz, I’m- I already feel like I’m gonna–”

“Wait, Ruby! Just… a few more… okay! I’m almost there, come for me! Please?”

“AH! Y-you got it!” The girl actually gave a weak thumbs up before she gripped both of Blake’s shoulders…

And threw it into overdrive. On top of everything else, this girl was a speed demon, more than capable of bouncing up and down at speeds no other citizen of Remnant could have hoped to achieve. Except maybe some of the Faunus who were naturally gifted with speed. She was going to milk Blake dry in a matter of seconds.

In a flash, it was all over. Blake came over and over into her girlfriend, head thrown back and mouth dropped open as she felt her entire length pulsing inside of the warmth of Ruby Rose. Ruby timed it almost perfectly, starting her own flutters and pulses of her inner walls immediately after she felt Blake spurt for the first time. She kept up the bouncing of her hips as long as she could before collapsing against Blake’s chest, heaving for breath.

“Whoa… I… like… that was really… maaaaan…”

“I know,” Blake laughed weakly, basically half-dead. But she did manage to move a hand to rest on Ruby’s rear. “Wow… thank you.”

“My pleasure. Like, literally, right?”

“Yeah.”

The room was nothing but the crackling of the fireplace and the laboured breaths of two satisfied lovers for a full minute. Then Ruby leaned up to kiss Blake on the cheek before nuzzling her neck hard, humming her obvious joy.

“Merry Dustmas again, you lioness.”

“Don’t call me that,” Blake chuckled. “Or I’ll go back to calling you my flower.”

“God, we were so lame,” she snickered right back as she cuddled her. “But… at the same time, it was really cute. You’re still my lioness.”

“Ruby… I love you. Like, probably too much, but I wanted you to know.”

With a little smile, she whispered, “Got it, amiga. Don’t worry.”

“Mmm.” Then she cleared her throat and squirmed a little.

“What? Something wrong?”

“No, not really. Just realised I really need to run to the ladies’ room. I drank too much hot cocoa earlier and after fucking you…”

Ruby’s brow furrowed slightly. “Wait, after fucking me, what?”

“Well…” When Ruby still didn’t seem to get it, she lowered her voice to whisper, “I usually have to pee after we do these things. You probably noticed that.”

“Huh? O-oh, no, no I didn’t. But now that you mention it… you do always run to the bathroom. Guess I figured you were just cleaning up – scraping off all the Ruby-goo.”

“That, too,” Blake snickered as she pet over Ruby’s hair. “Even if it’s my favourite goo. But I can tough it out for another minute or so.”

The smaller girl nodded, trying to remain contented. However… for a reason she didn’t really want to share, her hips began to move again. Seeking out more pleasure. That went on for another minute before Blake half-chuckled and whispered, “Okay, you are making it worse now.”

“Sorry! You just still feel really good, I dunno!”

“Okay, okay, but now I have to get up.” Ruby pouted as Blake lifted her bodily and stood her on her feet – both of them groaning a little as their bodies parted. “Mmhh… wow, I have to pee so bad.” “Nnhhh…”

Blake squinted at her suspiciously. “Do you want to go again when I get back?”

“No… it’s dumb, don’t worry about me. Just go take care of you.”

“No, hang on.” Even though she was visibly squirming, she cupped her girlfriend’s cheek. “Out with it. Why are you still horny but don’t want me to help you? If you think it’s greedy… I mean, you’ve jerked me off before and asked for nothing in return. Let me repay you.”

“It’s not… exactly that. But I’m super embarrassed, and you’re gonna think I’m a weird, gross girl, and I dunno!”

“What?” Ruby hid her face behind her hands, but she reached up to pull them away. “Hey… I could never think of you as gross. Do you know that?”

“Oh… you sure will when I tell you…”

But Ruby didn’t tell her right away. Just took her hand and started leading her toward the stairs. Only once they were going up them did she continue.

“So… u-um, I don’t know if you know… that you sleepwalk.”

“What?” Blake stared at her for a moment, then came over thoughtful as she gripped her chin, amber eyes staring off toward the distance. “Yeah. I’ve noticed that a couple of times I wake up in strange places. It’s more common with Faunus, especially if their animal traits are from animals with nocturnal tendencies; cats sometimes have ‘midnight crazies’ where they have to run back and forth and burn off energy for no reason.”

“Oh? Huh, that’s… kinda cool, kinda weird, kinda cute. Yep! Wow, that’s fun.”

“Ruby… you’re getting off topic. On purpose.”

“Yeah,” she admitted with a grimace. “Anyway, um, one time a couple of Dustmases ago – you probably had no idea – you sleepwalked into the bathroom while I was on the toilet.”

“What? Oh… oh Dust, I’m really sorry. Did I…” Her lip curled. “What… did I do, exactly?” No response. “PLEASE tell me I didn’t sit down on you and-”

“NOPE! No, no, not that one!” she reassured her quickly, and Blake looked extremely relieved. “But the other one… yyyyeah, you kinda did.”

“I did?”

“Yeah.”

Blake’s lips pressed into a thin line as she swallowed hard. “W-was it… did you move out of the way?”

“I… did not.”

“What?! You mean…” She had to say it, or she would always be tortured by the unknown. “You mean I actually peed on you?!”

The poor girl’s cheeks were flaming red as they entered the bathroom. The scene of the crime. “Y-you didn’t mean to do it. Obviously! And like, you’re right, I should have moved cuz I was the one who was awake and all, but it was so weird to have a dick pointed at me back then still, and also super hot, a-and I wasn’t sure what to do, and then it was too late!” Licking her lips, she quickly finished with, “And you were hard, too, and I had to really stop myself from doing anything because you weren’t awake and that’s not okay, a-and I had to clean the bathroom, anyway!”

“Ruby! That is… I don’t know what that is!” Her mouth was hanging open as she stared at her girlfriend, completely beside herself.

“Me either! What the hell IS it? A-anyway, now you can pee and I’m gonna go away. Probably from the whole planet.”

Before Ruby could edge out the door, Blake caught her by the elbow. “Hey… wait. I need to ask you one more thing about this before you take off.”

“Do you? Do you need to? Because I’m already so embarrassed I wanna die.”

“Yes.” Blake made sure to pull her in closer, to hang onto both of her elbows so she couldn’t bolt. Sometimes they had to do that from each other, since both of them tended to run from embarrassment. “Did you like it?”

No response.

“Ruby… did you like it when I whizzed on you?”

“Well gee, now I feel better when you say ‘whizzed’.” But the deep red blush answered for her.

“Oh wow.” She felt a little uncomfortable now, knowing that had happened, that it turned Ruby on, and that she had been completely unaware all this time. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because you couldn’t help it!” Ruby whispered urgently. “How do you bring that up? Like, ‘Whoops, ya peed on me, and I thought it was super hot, but don’t worry about it since you weren’t even conscious’?! That’s pretty dumb! And you and me was still really new back then, s-so I didn’t wanna make you think I was gross, but I am, I’m a weird, gross girl that you should definitely break up with!”

With a little sigh and a slight smile, she released one elbow to reach up and pet over her girlfriend’s hair. “Come on, you know that isn’t… I mean, I would have been a little disgusted no matter when it happened. It’s urine, it’s… a waste product. But even before we confessed our feelings, I wouldn’t have let it stop me from loving you.”

That brought the brunette’s head shooting up so fast her red-dyed forelock bounced from side to side. “Really?! I mean… you don’t care?”

“No. And what’s more… I want to make you happy, Ruby. Relationships are about compromising. So if you want me to pee on you, then I’ll do it.”

“Oh. Oh, no no, no way,” she laughed nervously. “This wasn’t- I really didn’t mean to like, sell this as a thing we’ll be doing! Nope! Just w-wanted to explain why I was all blushy, since yeah, we’re together and you deserve to know things like that.”

Blake chuckled as she held her close. “Oh, I know. It’s okay. But I’m saying, that as your girlfriend, I am deciding that I’m okay with trying it at least once. To see if we can both be into it, even. I don’t think I’ll enjoy it like you do but I’m also very certain it won’t hurt me in the slightest to test the waters.”

Ruby had been blushing and looking away right up until the end. Then she smiled a tiny, shy smile. “Test the waters, huh? Is that a Yang-pun? Because ‘watersports’?”

“Wow, you caught me,” she deadpanned. But then she smiled and Ruby smiled back. “Okay, um, get naked and then we can test this out.”

“Huh?” The smaller girl blinked rapidly. “What, right now?!”

“Yes, right now. I mean, I really, really gotta go – and I would like you to hurry?”

Blake was certainly dancing on one leg, holding her own crotch. Ruby realised that her girlfriend was in pain, so she was a lot more expedient about shucking all of her clothes than she normally would be. Kicking the last sock out into the hallway, she stood nervously in front of her.

“Okay, um… n-now what? I’ve never done this before. Well, like, I have, but not on purpose.”

“You say that like I’m any more experienced than you!” she protested, and Ruby giggled. “Alright. I think… you should sit in the tub. Or kneel, or be in whatever position you want to be in, I guess. But sitting or crouching, so I can actually do this without standing on the toilet.”

Obediently, Ruby climbed into the tub and knelt down. God this was making it difficult… normally she would already be sprung by looking down at Ruby kneeling there, naked as a jaybird. Between having just climaxed and bladder full to bursting, she wasn’t… but the urge was still there.

“Alrighty!” she piped up, excitement flushing her cheeks and stiffening her nipples. “Lay it on me!”

“That’s what you’re going to say? Before I do this… really unusual thing?”

“Um… open fire?”

“Ruby…”

“Okay, okay,” she giggled as she settled in a little more, sitting back on her heels. “Like, just do it whenever. I’m ready.”

Blake took a few quick breaths to steady her nerves. Took aim. Licked her lips. Shifted from foot to foot as she aimed her half-hard cock at the girl practically bowing before her.

“So…”

Blake grunted. “I don’t… know if I can.”

“Huh? Why not? You aren’t going to hurt me; I promise, it’s just pee.”

“Well yeah, but I can’t… pee… with you looking!” she finally admitted, her own cheeks starting to flush now. It was an interesting shade against her olive skintone.

The girl’s head tilted slightly to one side. “Really? Why not? Oh – wait, waitwaitwait, I’ve heard of this! Shy bladder! Right?”

“Yes! Now will you stop drawing more attention to it?!”

“Oh! Sorry!” She slapped her hands over her eyes. “Is this better?”

Blake just stared at her for a moment before chuckling and leaning down to kiss the backs of said hands. “You… are perfect. I’m sorry, I just… I don’t think I can do it, too weird. But I’ll try again.”

“Okay.” This time, when she lowered her hands it was to reveal closed eyes. And they stayed closed. “Just think of waterfalls or something.”

“Thanks,” she snorted. Then she really did attempt to relax. To let it all flow.

Nothing. At first. Then the muscles she had been clenching to prevent an untimely accident gradually began to relinquish their hold…

And then…

“WHOAB!” Ruby burst out – the end of the word turning into a different sound when she slapped her lips shut to keep any more pee from seeping inside. Because it was splashing everywhere. She sputtered a little to clear her mouth as it poured down through her hair, over her face and neck and shoulders, dripping from her peaks. The pool around her knees and feet slowly began to grow before running down into the drain.

And Blake felt extremely guilty. This was a highly depraved thing to do – and they had talked about tying Ruby up again many, many times since the night she had found her under the Dustmas tree, wrapped with a bow. How could she do this to her girlfriend?

Because she asked her to. That’s how.

“Nnhhh,” she sighed as the stream began to taper off to just a few drips, reaching down to play her fingers through her own wetness. “Ohhhh Blake… it’s so nasty…”

“O-oh, I’m sorry.” Then she squinted. “Or… am I not sorry?”

No, no reason to be sorry. Ruby was clearly getting herself off because she was so happy to be covered in Blake. “Nnhhh… Blake… I’m all yours!”

“Of course you are,” she told her with a small smile. “Always.”

“No…” Ruby’s other hand gripped the edge of the tub. “You marked me. Now nobody else can have me, ever! R-right? Mmhhh… right, Blake?”

A dark flush shot into the entirety of her face. Now Ruby was talking about something else – something that Blake had really tried hard not to think about. Especially after her past with Adam.

Faunus could mark their partners. It wasn’t permanent; they had to re-mark or the musk would wear off eventually, or sooner if they took a lot of baths. This was more useful in a more primitive society, but still useful today. However, she had not been thinking about that in the slightest until this moment, because she didn’t often ruminate on the more animalistic ancient traditions of the Faunus people.

“That’s… not exactly true, but um… Ruby, you do know…”

“What?” Blake laughed nervously, cheeks only getting darker, so Ruby persisted, “What, did I do something bad?”

“Not really ‘bad’. But when we get back to school, Velvet and some of the other Faunus students will, um, probably instantly know that you’ve been marked. And it won’t take much more investigation to figure out by whom. And they’ll also know I’m trans, because… well, biological markers like those don’t change when you transition.”

For a second Ruby just blinked up at her. Then she snickered and waved a hand. “But that’s weeks away. I’ll have showered a bunch of times.”

“No… you don’t get it.” She knelt down so she was on Ruby’s eye level. She could also feel her cock was rigid yet again; even if she wanted to warn Ruby, it didn’t mean she could ignore how much her libido loved this. “The strong smell is gonna wash off, but the musk, those… pheromones or whatever, those won’t come out for a while. Especially out of your hair. Even if you shave bald, though, it’ll still linger.”

“So…” Her hips shifted impatiently, cheeks flushing a little brighter. “They really will know I’m all yours?”

“Yes. I’m sorry, if I remembered that…”

“No, it’s okay.” Her arm started moving again, little mewlings erupting from between her lips as she prodded her body toward another climax. “Nnhhh… I don’t care if they know. I want them to.”

God. Now the scent was becoming powerful enough Blake couldn’t avoid breathing it in, and she almost hated it… but also was incredibly turned on by the idea that her Ruby was literally covered in this essence that belonged to her.

Marked.

“A-ah,” Blake sighed quietly as she started stroking her firm cock again, eyes only for Ruby and the way she was punishing her clit, nearly doubled over. She sort of wanted to kiss her, but that meant going into that leftover stench she had created. And even if Ruby found it kinky, she had no desire to touch her own. That was for sure.

But how was she supposed to resist? With Ruby’s mouth so close… so she claimed it, tongue swirling over the sharp, salty taste.

That made it a lot faster. Both Ruby and Blake were moaning and shifting their hips faster in no time at all, begging for release without asking either of them. Some things were just perfectly understood, even when left unsaid.

“MMHHH!” Ruby groaned into her lips when she came, trembling from head to toe as her spine kinked and her hips wriggled in their happy little puddle. Then she drew back with a gasp. “Ohhhh, WOW, Blake! That was so freakin’ HOT!”

“Y-yeah?” Blake panted as she jerked harder and faster. Unlike Ruby, her orgasms were more difficult to reproduce when closely following the last, not easier. “Then… then I’m s-so glad for you! My flower!”

Her eyes lit up. “You’re gonna cum? Again?” Becoming a little more animated again, she hissed, “Cum on my face!”

“WHAT?!”

“Hurry! Just stand up and do it – I wanna try that, too!”

“What the hell has gotten into you today?!” But Blake was too horny to argue. She struggled to her feet so fast she knocked over a bottle of conditioner, which bounced across the floor as she started jerking it harder and faster, panting with the effort of trying to drag the orgasm out of her body.

“YES!” Ruby squeaked, bouncing up and down in her excitement – and causing her breasts to do the same. That certainly didn’t hurt. “Do it, Blake! I wanna feel your cum all over me!”

“Okay! It’s… it’s coming, Ruby! NHH!”

A few more strokes and it came. And it was… not very exciting. She had cum so hard already that now it was only a few minor spurts before it was simply dribbling down on her girlfriend’s upturned features. She still sighed and smiled, shivering in delight, even though it was such an underwhelming display.

“S-sorry.”

Ruby shrugged with a grin. “Why? You came on me. That’s what I asked you for, right?”

“Well, yeah, but…” Then she snorted and rolled her eyes, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly to release her anxieties. “You are too cute. Always know how to make me feel better.”

Something about the way she was grinning with that essence clinging to her cheeks… was both cute and a little arousing. But Blake was totally spent; nothing doing now.

“I try,” she whispered. “And… it’s cuz I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Then she pecked her lips and drew back. “Whew. That’s starting to get rank, you’d better shower.”

“Mmm, shower with me?”

“No. I don’t need to, I didn’t pee on me.”

“I could pee on you!”

“Nnnno thank you.”

“Awww, come on! Just a little? I’ll pee on your leg!”

Shaking her head, she turned to start pacing out of the bathroom with a smirk on her lips. “Ruby, you need help. Seriously, I’m calling a therapist.”

“BLAKE!”

--------------------------------------

Once Ruby emerged from the shower, she apologised for getting so overzealous about their watersports adventure. Having had time to process and decompress, Blake waved it off with a kiss and another insistence that Remnant was home to many different walks of life. It was foolish to assume none of them would like to be urinated upon.

Now they were both dressed warmly, and decided Yang had been gone long enough that they should probably go check on her. Which they did, hiking toward Signal with hand stuffed in pockets as their boots crunched in the snow.

“So… I’ve been thinking about something.”

“Oh wow,” Blake said with a wry smile. “Is that your New Year’s resolution.”

“Hey!” She bumped her with her hip, earning a slight chuckle. “Um… so like, you marked me.”

“You made me mark you,” she corrected. Hoping she could pass off the rouge in her cheeks as a reaction to the chill in the air.

“Yeah, yeah. Anyway, does this make us like… engaged?”

The Faunus nearly tripped over an errant snow drift, she was so distracted. Once she found her footing – partly thanks to Ruby’s hand shooting out to grip hers – she goggled at the shorter girl.

“En… engaged?”

Her smile was so brilliant. “Yeah! Y’know, to be mar-”

“YES! Yes, I know what it means, I…” She swallowed hard, head so light she felt like it may float away. “You really like me enough for that?”

“Sure, Blake! Can’t you tell I’m all about you now?”

“W-well, I…” Now her own small smile was blossoming. “You know, you have had worse ideas.”

Now Ruby was pouting as the school came into view over the crest of the next hill. “Hey, I have plenty of great ideas. All the time!”

“Oh yeah? What about that time you wanted to go bungee jumping off the roof of Beacon?”

“What? It’s not my fault Weiss didn’t change out of her skirt! And Jaune didn’t seem to mind!”

“Of course he didn’t,” she snorted, all grinning now. “But I’m not such an easy girl to hook, you know. I expect you to ask me formally.”

Ruby tapped her chin. Then she took a few quick paces forward and knelt down in the snow. “Blake Belladonna…”

Just for a moment, her heart stopped. Then she held up a hand and said, “No.”

“Huh?! But you just said-”

“You don’t have a ring, do you?” No answer; just a lot of squirming from the girl getting the knee of her leggings damp. “Then it’s not a real proposal. Try again when you have a ring, and I will very seriously consider your offer.”

“Oooh, you’re mean.” She got up and started walking again, brow furrowed and lips pursed so hard they almost met in the middle over her nose. Blake chuckled and slipped her arm through her girlfriend’s. Completely contented.

Signal was basically deserted, but they saw some flickering lights in one of the classroom windows. That was an easy lead. Heading upstairs, they quickly oriented themselves to the floor plan and found said room.

“-absolutely atrocious,” a tinny voice was saying as they eased the door open. “He is such an insufferable little twerp; I can’t wait to get out of this house.”

“God, I can imagine,” Yang laughed. She was sitting at one of the desks near the window, kicked back with her boots up. Her Scroll was in her hand, opened so that she could get a better view of her lady love’s face as they chatted.

“You really cannot,” Weiss countered. “And be grateful! Oooh, the less I see of Whitley, the better!”

Ruby’s sister nodded in sympathy as they both edged quietly into the room. “Speaking of seeing less of your brother…”

“I know, I know. And I’m working on it. I think I’ve complained often and vocally enough that they are seriously considering letting me visit you, despite the New Years Gala being such an important event for the Schnee Dust Company.”

“That’s my girl,” she said with a smile. “Nobody can throw a ‘May I speak to your manager’ fit like my Weiss.”

“And just what is that supposed to mean?!”

Yang was about to answer when she saw the other two hovering in the doorway. She sat up straighter and called out, “Hey! Not cool, Sis – you really gotta lurk and listen in on my conversation? This is a private girlfriend thing!”

“As if we’re really doing anything private,” Weiss scoffed. Then she called out louder, “Hello, Ruby! Is Blake there?”

“Hey!” Blake said as they approached. “We started to get worried about Yang, she was in a bad mood.”

“Awww, I know. Sulking like a true Schnee. Almost makes me think she would be accepted right away into my family.”

Yang rolled her eyes. “Thanks a billion, you guys. Really feeling the love.”

“Happy Dustmas,” Weiss continued airily to the other two.

“Merry Dustmas, Weiss!” Ruby piped up, leaning over so the camera on the device would catch her waving. “Hope you’re having a good one!”

“It’s cold and my family is egregiously annoying. But I suppose I have received some passable presents.” Then a small smile began to tug at her pouting lips. “Well… and one very nice one.”

“So you like ‘em?”

“Shhh!” she hissed urgently. “They don’t need to know about such things.”

“This about the panties that say ‘Weiss Queen’?” Ruby asked.

“YANG! You told her?!”

Yang shrugged carelessly. “I mean, she’s my sister; she went with me to pick ‘em out. Plus you know Blake is our teammate, so…”

“I won’t tell a soul,” Blake said with a hand raised as if swearing an oath.

“Well… fine. But yes, I do very much cherish them. Oh, and I also liked the coffee mug from you, Blake, and the hot cocoa set from Ruby. Especially since I will be able to use the gifts in tandem.”

“Yeah!” Ruby piped up happily, glad her battle partner enjoyed her gift. “And you can use ‘em together, too!”

After a brief silence, Weiss sighed. “Never change, Ruby. Never change.”

“Oh!”

At Blake’s quiet exclamation, they all turned toward the window. Snowflakes had begun to drift down from the skies, blanketing the nearly-melted snow and browned grass of the Signal grounds. It was heavy enough that in no time, the entire landscape would be a winter wonderland.

“Yeeeessssss,” Ruby breathed, eyes huge and cheeks bunched with the force of her grin.

“Nice,” was all Yang said, reaching up to fistbump Blake. It took her a moment to notice and bump the fist.

“You say that like I made it snow myself,” she snorted.

“Nah, nah. Just gave us a heads up. Merry Dustmas, you guys!”

“Happy Dustmas!” Weiss insisted, sticking to the more traditional Atlesian greeting. Yang only laughed.

Either way, it didn’t matter. Ruby and Blake slipped their hands into each other’s and squeezed as they watched the gentle descent of the snow, deciding to wait on telling the other two they were soft-engaged – soon to be real-engaged when Ruby picked out a ring. Or about the marking. Right now, none of that mattered because they all had each other, and a picture-perfect view. And that was the best Dustmas gift of all.

The End

[renegade-skywalker]

I haven’t really been as involved in fandom stuff or posting on here as much as I usually do/would like to (other than reblogging here and there while I try not to burn out at work) but I had this idea that my exile, Eden, and her brother Aiden rekindle their twin Force bond after running into each other on Korriban (sort of... Aiden/Erebus is still playing sides...) and decide to Force Skype and I randomly began writing it so this the result of that... *releases wild head canon into the internet*

---    

          “It’s… weird,” she said, her voice humming, even in his mind, “Seeing you here. Seeing you there.”

              Eden was alone in a bunk, and a cushy one at that, Erebus noted. The room was large enough to house a desk, a small dining table with two place settings, and a double bed on the far side of the wall, a sliver of closet visible beside the bed from where he could see her. In his minds’ eye, Eden was the sole focus, the rest of the room a bit faded and blurry, but clear enough for him to make out the bunk’s contents. She even had a small porthole, its window ablaze with the white-blue of hyperspace in the space of wall beside the dining table. She had several datapads stored there haphazardly, a stylus and a discarded robe, and not to mention the bed was a total mess.

              “Still judging my living habits, I see,” she smiled, almost appearing comfortable. “You’re as proper as always.”

              It felt so strange, speaking to her like this, seeing her like this. They had only touched on something like this when they were younger, exchanging quick messages telepathically during their lessons, occasionally sending each other snippets of thought, flashes of images to supplement their mental notes, making fun of or complaining about Master Vrook all the while. But now… he could see all of her, and feel her too, her quiet calm and soothing energy, more in-tune with herself than she’d ever been…

              “An organized mess, as can be expected,” he replied after a moment too long, “Doesn’t look so unusual, huh?”

              Eden shook her head, almost happy at the sameness of it, and Erebus smiled, too. Same. It did feel as it had before, when they were young, when they were close, when they were all each other had.

              “Have you… ever done this before?” Eden asked, unsure of what to do with her hands, though it looked like she wanted to reach out and touch him, to test the realness of it, as if to enter his room through whatever window they’d opened in a rift of the Force, through the eye of the needle they’d threaded through space and time.

              “Not quite,” he admitted, almost laughing with mirth at the very idea, “This is… I mean, this is rather incredible.”

              He could go on for ages. It seemed such a feat, to reach across space to speak to one another in each others’ minds yet also in the flesh somehow, as if they were both granted a glimpse of the other by merely willing it to be so.

              “You’ve seen quite a bit, so I’m guessing that’s a lot coming from you,” Eden said, almost a question but also most certainly not. She knew what he studied, had perused his notes, examined his life’s work. She’d seen the inside of his ship and the things he’d stored there. “I think… I think I understand it now, and… I’m sorry I never-“

              She cut herself off, her eyes almost glassy.

              “Did you see the rest of the Academy?” she asked again, blinking away tears, her curiosity still clear on her face, “Or did you-? I don’t know, I guess Korriban isn’t exactly new to you, is it?”

              Erebus wanted to laugh but he didn’t. The idea was genuinely funny, though not in the sense that he was laughing at her, just the idea… but a lump in his throat stopped him, forced him to take a breath before answering.

              “I’d studied there, yes,” he said, his voice low, almost a whisper, “But… it’s been a while.”

              “I would imagine,” Eden breathed a laugh now, though not with amusement, “I couldn’t believe some of what we’d found, what I saw in the records, the archives. It’s a wonder any of it is still there. After everything, and I just… I don’t know.”

              Eden shook her head, looking away, wringing her hands in her lap. He could feel it again – Eden’s emotions, waves of feeling lapping at the very edges of his consciousness, as if their life forces were pools rippling awfully close in an endless, cosmic pool – and he couldn’t help but ask.

              “What is it?” he asked, though he almost knew what it was, sensing the guilt suddenly teeming off of her, replacing the calm that was there only moments ago.

              “I… I think I get it now,” she said after a moment, returning her gaze to him as she finished her sentence, “It never interested me then, but…”

              “Things have changed,” he said, sensing her thoughts and speaking them freely, “So now you know why I-“

              “You were the perfect student for Atris,” Eden laughed, though this time there was genuine amusement in her voice, in her face, her eyes lighting up as she sighed before continuing, “I couldn’t have cared less, at least not at the time, and still she chose to fixate on me, she wanted to tutor me, when she had the perfect student right in front of her.”

              Erebus said nothing, Atris’ rejection still a fresh hurt, even after all these years. And yet-

              “But I think I understand your side of things, as well,” Erebus admitted, holding his sister’s gaze, “I felt it. Kavar’s approval, or lack thereof. Even when you surpassed his skills and beyond. What. A fucking. Fool.”

              Anger rippled at the base of his chest, yet he could tell Eden felt it too, either in remembering her own hurts or in realizing they were both scorned as students, yet had failed to confide in each other, all because the Council forced them apart.

              “We should have been friends,” Eden said, her voice heavy, “We should have been friends.”

              “Council be damned, at least we can agree on that.”

              “Damned, indeed,” Eden agreed darkly.  “But the Sith…”

              Erebus felt Eden’s thoughts, images flashing before his eyes as she ruminated, her thoughts not yet forming adequate words – the Sith ruins, the Academy, the remnants of the tombs, but also Alek, and Revan and everything that predicated Erebus’ training, his true calling, his-

              “It’s fascinating,” Eden admitted, her words quick as if she were afraid of who may overhear her and judge her for it, “Everything. The Sith may have caused so much death, created it even, but the things they’ve discovered, the things they built-“

              Erebus knew Eden did not mean their monuments or their temples, but the devices he studied, the tools the Sith had discovered to harness the Force and explore it, the very things that fueled his work and his interest.

              “It’s a wonder what the selfishness can accomplish when dedicated to their own self-preservation,” he said, “Cowards, the lot of them.”

              He watched Eden, a smile flitting over her face in amusement at the truth in his statement, before he added, “Myself included.”

              She didn’t correct him, though her shock at his honesty was apparent. He wasn’t sure if it was as clearly written on her face so much as it was felt, his intuition sure of her feeling as soon as he’d said it. She agreed, but she also didn’t. And she couldn’t explain why.

              “We don’t have to unpack all that now,” he assured, trying to make light of his words and change the subject, “But… I like that we can talk like this, now, even if-“

              “Even if we should have been allowed to, decades ago?” Eden finished for him. “Imagine what we could have done if the Council hadn’t-?”

              “A lot of things,” he rejoined before she could finish her thought, “And not just limited to us.”

              “You can say that again.”

              Once, Erebus would have disagreed. When he was Aiden, he believed the Jedi could do no wrong - he had to believe that. Otherwise, everything he knew to be true about the universe was incorrect. He imagined Atris was still living by that ideology, making excuses in order to keep herself sane every step of the way, and losing a piece of herself every time she stubbornly forced the pieces to fit.

              “You can say that again, too,” Eden said, sensing his thoughts, sensing Atris on the tip of his proverbial tongue, “Not sure if you knew, but I caught up with our old teacher not too long ago.”

              “Oh?” Erebus asked, though in reality he didn’t want to hear the details, at least not yet. There was so much he still wanted to know about Eden – not just about what had happened, but how she was doing, he it felt to be void of the Force, exempt from its pervasive nature, and how she managed to keep it all together despite everything that happened to her years ago, in the years since then, and even in the days and weeks prior to the here and now. But he also wanted none of those things… he just wanted to be with her, like they used to be when they were kids, exploring the universe and experiencing everything together, their thoughts and feelings an ever-growing mesh threading itself together stitch by stitch with every shared experience.

              “A story for another day,” she said, and at that Erebus smiled. Another day. She wanted to do this again. She still wasn’t sure if she should trust him, he could feel it, though to be fair Erebus wasn’t sure if she should trust him either. But she could also tell it was a sore subject, and would not press the matter. Oh, how far we’ve come, sister.

              Oh how far, indeed, Eden replied with a smile, a genuine one, allowing herself to feel the expression in full, despite how used to she was to dispelling it, willing away her happiness in lieu of fear and uncertainty. Not to say that there was nothing unsure about Erebus, though there was something familiar about their talking, something safe. In the way that it feels to be with family, true family. Where that feeling of unspoken togetherness, cohabitation without need for speaking was similar and safe and sound and felt the same, always the same.

              Eden nodded, as if sensing his thoughts, and said, “It’s nice to see you again, Aiden.”

              And with that, Erebus faded away, though not completely, melding into Aiden and folding in on himself again, feeling both his old and new self into one, as if being reborn but not quite. More like… feeling awake for the first time. Truly alive. Aware and awake and wide-eyed and ready to soak the world in.

              “You too, Ede.”

[dogbearinggifts]

Missing in Action

Umbrella Academy

Author’s Note: This is Part Four of my Sheepdogs series. If this is the first time you’re seeing this series on your dash, I’d definitely recommend going back and starting with Part One, He Saw the Ghosts, a slight AU exploring what might have happened had Klaus spoken with a kinder vet in the VFW scene. Dead Ringer and Tattoos With Better Stories follow the vets he meets as they try to offer support while trying to determine just why he looks so much like an unidentified soldier in a fifty-year-old photo. 

All installments are available on my AO3 account. 

The man’s name was Arthur, and tracking him down had proven, from the beginning, to be more difficult than Richard liked.

Sometimes he enjoyed the search. He liked to find a clue and follow the breadcrumbs down a trail to a discovery both expected and surprising, examine and marvel at all the little facts he picked up along the way. He’d never been fond of puzzles, but after putting the metaphorical pieces together on more than one occasion, he thought he’d finally grasped the appeal.

But there was a difference between struggling to find where a puzzle piece fit and putting the picture together only to find pieces were missing.

The friend of a friend put Richard in touch with a friend, who wasn’t home but—thankfully—was up on answering messages. A call to the number Richard was given also ended at an answering machine, but he’d only waited a short while for a call back before his phone rang again.

“God, I’m sorry,” the friend—Trevor—said. “I forgot—he’s visiting one of his kids. You want the number where he’s staying?”

Under ordinary circumstances, Richard would have said no, he’d left a message and that would be fine; but thoughts of Klaus made him hesitate. Accept the number and interrupt the man’s vacation, or delay the call and delay answers until after Klaus showed his face again—perhaps long after.

Maybe it wouldn’t matter. He’d faced Klaus more than once without an answer to a single one of the questions the younger man raised; doing so again wouldn’t be impossible. The kid needed a place to run to, a friend to listen. Richard could provide that without knowing where he’d come from or where he’d served or even his last name.

And yet….

He couldn’t face Klaus again, not with all those questions nagging at him. Not with doubt gnawing away at compassion and suspicion threatening to push concern aside.

“You sure he won’t mind?”

“Nah. If he can’t talk, he’ll let you know.”

Richard wrote the number down, thanked Trevor and hung up, but didn’t dial it immediately. The digits scrawled on a piece of notepaper—they were just a number. A sequence that would bring an interlude to a stranger’s visit with his family, if not grind it to a halt. Maybe things would stop there, end with the voice on the other end of the line announcing that he knew next to nothing about the unnamed soldier in the photo.

But maybe not.

Richard brushed a thumb over the paper. It was just a number, but it felt like a key.

Arthur preferred to be called Art, and if a stranger intruding on a family visit bothered him, his voice didn’t show it.

“I’ve spent the last forty years bouncing around the whole country,” he said with a laugh when Richard apologized for the interruption yet again. “Probably made me hard to track down.”

“Just a bit.”

Art laughed again. “So you want me to come on down today, tomorrow, when?”

Richard glanced again at the number he’d taken down. He’d been told the man had somewhat settled in Arizona, but the area code looked familiar. “How close are you?”

“’Bout forty minutes away.”

So his daughter had wound up in one of those towns scattered around the city, the ones that lured tourists in with a cultivated quaintness and a Main Street designed to separate them from their money. “We’ve got his photo at the VFW here in town.”

“I can get there tomorrow. You got directions?”

Art beat Richard and Jim to the VFW, and despite only starting his walk once hands were shaken and introductions made, he beat them inside and reached the memorial wall a few paces before they did.

“This the guy?”

Even before he closed the gap, Richard knew which soldier his pointing finger highlighted. “That’s him.”

A smile tugged at one corner of Art’s mouth and then the other, but no sooner had it spread than it lost whatever innocence it might have had, turning wistful at best. He shook his head. “Should’ve known Klaus would show up in the last place you’d expect.”

The name was like a thunderclap. Richard tried to think of something, anything to say besides asking him to repeat it, something that wasn’t incoherent stammering.

“Klaus?” If Art heard Jim’s voice increase in pitch, he didn’t show it. “That’s his name?”

“His parents were ahead of the curve, I guess.”

“My great-grandpa’s name was Orange.” Richard wasn’t sure how he managed to get the words out at all. “Married a woman named Blossom and never heard the end of it.”

“Klaus. He have a surname?” Jim asked. It sounded casual enough, but Richard heard the strain in it, the forced nonchalance.

“Hargreeves.” Art frowned, looking to the photo again. “Always did think that was weird, once the Academy started making headlines.”

Klaus wasn’t too unusual of a name—not like Orange. It hadn’t been the sort of name most mothers would bestow upon their children back in the forties, but it had existed. So had Hargreeves. If the parents of a perfectly harmless baby boy who had done nothing to deserve it could nevertheless choose to saddle him with a name like Orange back in 1843, then a Mrs. Hargreeves in the 1930s or 40s could name her son Klaus.

Richard tried for an unhurried gait as he moved closer to the photograph of the unnamed soldier—toward Klaus Hargreeves, if Art wasn’t the perpetrator of the world’s strangest and most twisted practical joke. Maybe if he were able to remove it from its frame and study it without the glass, he’d be able to find some discrepancy between this Klaus and the one he knew. It was the light, he decided. The light kept him from seeing it clearly, gave an admittedly spooky coincidence more meaning than it deserved.

Out the corner of his eye, he saw Art frown. “You okay?”

Richard didn’t try for a smile, or even a reassuring tone. Art struck him as a smart guy—too smart to be brushed off with something like that. “You want to sit down?”

There was a table somewhat close to the photo, and that was where they set up operations. Jim fetched a few drinks from the bar and passed them around; Art held onto his beer a moment before speaking.

“You know, I figured I’d just come in and name the guy.”

Richard kept both hands wrapped around his soda as he tried to find the proper words. It was tempting to toss all the cards on the table and let Art sort them out—but there was still a chance that all this was a coincidence or something darker. Throwing everything out into the open could muddy the waters before they had an inkling of what lurked beneath.

“We’ve had some….weird shit happen, these last couple of days,” Jim said without looking up. “And it all ties back to that guy in the photo.”

“To Klaus,” Art said.

“Yeah,” Jim said with a hint of a sigh. “To Klaus.”

“We still don’t know shit about him,” Richard added, motioning between himself and Jim. “But you do. Maybe you can help us clear a few things up.”

Art fell silent, gazing down at his beer. Richard tried not to hold his breath, tried not to let anticipation and disquiet show on his face. He tried not to watch, too, but that proved fruitless. Slowly, Art’s expression softened. Slowly, it became a smile.

“The guy was a trainwreck.” He shook his head with a soft chuckle. “But God, he was fun.”

He leaned forward, resting an elbow on the table. Richard had seen that smile before, wry and expectant all at once—the smile of a man who knew he had some good stories to share.

“This one time, I was just sitting there, minding my own business, and Klaus walks up, plops himself into my lap and goes ‘Trust fall!’” He chuckled again. “Of course, he didn’t get to that part until I was already cussing him out.”  

It wasn’t that Richard forgot the reason for Art’s presence. It wasn’t that he tossed the purpose of hearing his stories aside. But as Art told another story followed by another, as he relaxed into memories he may not have shared before, reason and purpose took a backseat. They remained in the back of his mind, but he was laughing too hard to hear their guidance.

Richard still hadn’t gotten his wind back from laughter at the last story when Art slapped the table. “The ghost moose! Almost missed that one.”

Jim coughed on his beer. “The what moose?”

Art leaned forward with his elbows propped on the table. He liked to do that and gesture broadly as he spoke, Richard had noticed. “So, Klaus didn’t know how to drive once he got in country.”

“How old was he again?” Richard asked.

Art frowned, as though he’d never considered the question before. “I…I dunno. Late twenties? Anyway.” He waved the question aside. “So we’ve got to teach him. He’s in the driver’s seat, bumping along—and there’s nobody for miles. Out in the middle of nowhere. But everything seems to be going great, he’s finally getting the hang of it, and then all of a sudden—bam! Guy slams on the brakes, almost pitches us all out. We’re all ‘What the hell, you almost got us killed,’ and he just stares at the road a minute and then he goes, ‘I thought I saw a….moose.’”

“You’re shitting me,” Jim said.

“Nope.” Art chuckled. “He said it just like that, too—like he knew he had all of two seconds to think of something good and that’s what he came up with.”

Richard gulped his soda. “A moose.”

“Yep.”

“In Vietnam.”

“That’s what the rest of us said, but he goes, ‘Well, maybe they lived here millions of years ago and now there’s a ghost moose walking around, ever think of that?’”

Art grinned through the laughter that followed.

“I’ll bet that story took off,” Richard said when he’d straightened out enough to speak.

“God, yes. After that, every goddamn shadow we saw was the ghost moose. Officers pull some new bullshit? Ghost moose. Mail’s delayed again? Ghost moose.”

Richard grinned. “Did the ghost moose have a name?”

“Spurlock,” Art said after another gulp of his drink. “Think it was Charlie who said we should call him Reginald. I thought it was a great name for a moose, but Klaus didn’t like that one, and since the ghost moose was his idea—”

“You wanted to go with something he liked,” Jim finished.

“Yep. Not sure where he came up with Spurlock, but it stuck.”

The name sounded familiar, but Richard couldn’t quite place it. He was still trying to match it to a face, a news article or anything else when Art nodded to the photograph on the wall.

“Every man in that picture came up with at least one story about the ghost moose. Dave started writing them all down one night. Gave the collection some long and important name, like For Those Who Have Seen Shall Never Unsee: Visages of Meese in Their Spectral Forms. But those stories...God, they were wild. That moose was into some weird shit.”

As much as he wanted to remain where the stories and laughter had brought him, Richard couldn’t ignore the nudging back toward the purpose of the whole meeting. “Dave….Katz?”

Art nodded. “He and Klaus were pretty close.”

Richard thought the way Art averted his gaze signaled something more behind those words, but the silence lasted less than a moment before Art shook his head slightly.

“Klaus was no idiot, though. Said some dumb shit, but he was a smart guy.”

Jim gave a wry smile. “Think everybody served with that guy sometime.”

“Better than a dumb guy who says a lot of smart shit,” Richard added.

“Yeah….” Jim exhaled, setting his beer on the table. “Served with him, too.”

“I tell you he knew Nixon would get elected?

Richard couldn’t say what about the question sent a jolt through him, but he’d learned years before to listen to that. Instincts could be off, but they could also be like a sound from far away, signaling danger not yet visible. “No.”

“Yeah, we were talking about the race, who everybody was gunning for—and Klaus goes ‘Eh, Nixon’s just gonna win anyways.’” Art shook his head again. “Figured it was the drugs talking, but come November, guess who’s president?”

The image of Klaus stumbling into a laundromat, covered in sweat and on his way to another club, resurfaced in Richard’s mind, but he pushed the thought back. “He knew?”

“Said it was a lucky guess.”

Richard looked to Jim, saw the same disquiet he felt reflected back, and pressed on. “Nixon won with—what? Forty-three percent?”

“Something like that.”

“And he just said Nixon was gonna win.”

“Like he knew,” Jim added.

“Look, the guy….” Art paused, pressed his lips together. “He wasn’t the only one who used, all right? Not by a long shot. And he said a lot of things like that. Just weird shit. Some of it made sense, some didn’t. But at the end of the day, he was a guy you wanted with you when shit hit the fan.”

Art sat back, and It took more of Richard’s willpower than he cared to admit to keep from slumping in his chair. He wasn’t defeated, he wasn’t chastised, because this wasn’t a fight. Just a misunderstanding. A misunderstanding he couldn’t clear up until he corralled the bizarre ideas and half-baked possibilities swirling through his head into something resembling coherent speech.

After a long silence, Jim was the one who spoke. “When’d he join your unit?”

“I don’t remember exactly when.” It was thoughtful, a consideration. There was still a hint of temper behind it, a note of irritation, but nothing more. “I know he did, since he wasn’t there from the beginning, but I don’t remember him ever joining. He was just kind of…there one day.”

“He ever say where he was from, when he got drafted?”

Art’s frown deepened. “Never did say. He was from here, though. Pretty sure.”

Jim’s questions had set Art pondering things he might not have pondered before—and sharpened the cold unease in Richard’s middle. Details no longer swirled past one another like debris in a tornado; they fell to the ground, snapped into place like pieces in a puzzle. He wasn’t sure he understood the picture they formed, but he needed to be sure. He nodded to the tattoo on Art’s bicep, the bottom half visible beneath his sleeve.

“Did everybody in your unit get that tattoo?”

“This one?” Art rolled up his sleeve, revealing the same tattoo Klaus had worn: a skull emblem below the words Sky Soldiers and 173rd Airborne Division. “Yep. Same place, same everything.”

Not quite the same. Where Art’s tattoo had faded and blurred with age, the one Klaus wore—the Klaus he’d met, at any rate—appeared more freshly inked. “How long was he there?”

Art looked down at the table. Any trace of mirth had vanished the moment questions took a turn he didn’t like, but Jim’s more routine inquiries had brought a sort of wistfulness, as if decent memories had begun to simmer at the back of his mind—the sort that needed no defense or explanation, only sharing. Every bit of cheer drained from him at Richard’s question.

“He didn’t even make it a year.”

Richard felt the bitterness in those words—had felt it time and again, when yet another friendship ended at the front line. He shut his eyes, trying to turn the flood of unwanted memories into a stream, turn the deluge into a current he could stand against.

“Him and Dave both. Fight ended, dust cleared. Dave was dead, Klaus was gone without a trace.” Art’s intake of breath shook. “Lost ‘em both that night.”

There was nothing to fill the silence that followed. Richard could have tried. Could have repeated some of the same platitudes he’d been given, knowing they’d remain empty no matter how much sincerity he poured into them.

Once again, Jim spoke first.

“You said they were close.”

It was an observation, and a gentle one at that. Art didn’t lift his gaze from the table, hands wrapped around his beer.

“You know, I think Dave might’ve been the first one to talk to him. Can’t say for sure, since I don’t remember when Klaus joined, but Dave? Saw the guy looking around like he still couldn’t figure out how the hell he wasn’t back in the States and thought That guy needs a friend.” His mouth tipped, more in rueful memory than genuine mirth. “There was a while, in the beginning, when the rest of us were wondering how the hell Klaus made it through basic without learning a goddamn thing, and Dave’s there with him, showing him what to do. Just all, ‘Try it that way. Do it like this. You got it.’”

The image of Klaus—the Klaus he knew—wearing David Katz’s dog tags surfaced in Richard’s mind. A quickly traded glance with Jim said his friend entertained similar thoughts—with similar disquiet.

“You never heard anything else, after he went MIA?” Richard asked.

Art exhaled. “I’m sure he’s dead by now.”

Now it was Jim’s turn to glance at Richard, meeting his gaze with a frown. Richard gave a small shrug, and Jim returned his attention to Art.

“You remember if he had any other tattoos?”

Art frowned. “Why?”

“Like Jim told you,” Richard said slowly, “there’s been some weird shit around that guy in the photo.”

“Yeah, but what do tats have to do with it?”

“We’re not sure we know, either,” Richard said.

Art gave them both a long look, let out a short sigh, and leaned forward. “Yeah. Had an umbrella on his forearm. I…always thought it kinda looked like the Academy logo, but never….”

His train of thought ended as his gaze shifted between Richard and Jim.

Richard knew he ought to speak. He didn’t trust himself to offer a full explanation, but he knew he should say a few words at least. Stammer something. Begin a sentence and end it too soon. But the more he fought for words, the more they eluded him. In his mind’s eye he saw Klaus concentrating on his knitting, Katz’s dog tags around his neck as the umbrella on his arm flicked in and out of view.

Klaus.

Klaus Hargreeves.

Klaus Hargreeves, haltingly asking about Richard’s time in Vietnam as he practiced stitches.

All the impossibilities bound up in that one, all the questions that went along with it, were nothing compared to that one certainty. He didn’t know how. He couldn’t say why. But in that moment, Richard would have bet money that the Klaus he knew, the Klaus Art knew, and the Klaus Reginald Hargreeves had adopted as an infant were one and the same.

Art’s gaze managed to pin them both down. “Are…you guys gonna tell me what’s going on, or….”

Richard drew a breath and then another. The first one shook, the second was steadier. He needed a way to phrase what he had to say, a means of softening it, but there was nothing. “I don’t think Klaus is dead.”

For a fraction of a second, Art’s face went entirely blank; then half a dozen emotions warred for dominance. Confusion. Shock. Anger. Relief. Despair.

Hope.

“If you’re shitting me—”

“I’m not. Swear to God, I’m not.”

“So what the hell made you say it?”

Richard opened his mouth to answer, traded a glance with Jim and thought better of it.

Jim drew a long breath and pointed to the photo on the memorial wall.

“Because I caught him crying over that picture just a few days ago.”

[asflowersfade]

Ficlet: Curiosity Killed the Cat

Another ficlet set in my The Cop and His Professor Guardian AU where Zhao Yun Lan is still a cop and Shen Wei is still a professor but there’s nothing weird or supernatural going on.

And now it’s up to Shen Wei to explain things. Of course it is, of course...

Shen Wei loves his husband, he really does. But sometimes, very occasionally, once in a blue moon… he doesn’t like him much.

Shen Wei’s cooking dinner - it helps him relax and unwind after a long day and a proper meal at least once a day helps keeping Yun Lan’s gastritis in check - when there’s a rattle at the door, the-key-in-the-lock kind of a rattle, and then the door bursts open, admitting Yun Lan… and Da Qing.

That wouldn’t be all that surprising if his husband’s colleagues - “Minions, Shen Wei, they’re my minions!” - knew about their marriage. Which they don’t. But... lo and behold, Da Qing, his husband’s SIC, there, on the threshold. So... 

Shen Wei stands there, a knife in one hand and a half-peeled apple in the other, eyebrows raised, eyes blinking. To which Da Qing responds pretty much in the same way, minus the cooking ware and half-processed food, that is.

This startled moment’s broken when Yun Lan groans and sways and Shen Wei finally notices that all that’s holding his husband upright is Da Qing’s shoulder and his strong arm around Yun Lan’s waist. It takes Shen Wei one glance to figure out what’s going on: Yun Lan’s pale, sweaty and he’s squinting hard against the soft afternoon light falling in through the kitchen window.

Migraine.

Shen Wei doesn’t exclaim his husband’s name - not only would that be rather undignified and more than a little unhelpful in this case, Yun Lan’s head would definitely not appreciate such a proclamation of concern - he simply sets the knife and the apple down, quickly washes his hands and heads across their open space apartment towards where Da Qing and Yun Lan are still standing, swaying slightly.

“I’ll take him from here, thank you,” Shen Wei say to Da Qing with quiet authority that leaves no room for objection and gently takes his husband out of the other cop’s hands.

Carefully, holding Yun Lan up with an arm around his shoulders, Shen Wei leads him towards the bedroom where he helps his husband sit down on the bed slowly, knowing that any fast movements might result in violent bodily reactions of the unpleasant kind.

When Yun Lan’s finally sitting down, Shen Wei crouches down in front of him and rests one hand, cold from washing, on Yun Lan’s forehead. Yun Lan moans softly and leans against the touch, closing his eyes gratefully.

“How bad?” Shen Wei asks.

“Ugh,” is the only answer he gets.

“Will a pill be enough or do you need something stronger?”

“Ugh.”

Shen Wei nods. “Alright,” he says and gets up to fetch his husband a glass of water and his medicine. Most of the time, he can read his husband like an open book which is really good in situations like this. Honestly, how did Yun Lan even survive before he met Shen Wei?

And all this time, he can feel Da Qing’s intent glare burning holes into his back. He will deal with the man, just not now. Later will be fine.

Pill swallowed and water sloshed all over Yun Lan’s trembling hand, Shen Wei helps him take off his jacket and his shoes and his jeans, while muttering very softly under his breath, “You’re a fool and if you weren’t so miserable, I would throttle you. Always waiting till the last possible second. Never taking care of yourself. Tired of living, that’s what you are!”

He helps Yun Lan lay down and as he covers him up to his chin, making him as comfortable as possible, Yun Lan cracks one eye open and catches his hand, holding it surprisingly firmly, considering. “But you like me anyway, right?” he croaks out, going for a smile and failing.

“No, I don’t,” Shen Wei mutters - but then, belying his own words, he bends down and kisses Yun Lan gently on the forehead, whispering, “Sleep now.”

And for once, his husband actually listens to him, and curling up on his side with his back to the rest of their apartment, he buries his face in his pillow with a soft moan. Shen Wei stands there for a moment longer, staring down at him. What to do with such a fool?

Then Shen Wei closes the blinds on the windows around the bed - and with a fortifying deep breath he turns around to face the other man in their apartment.

Yun Lan told him once that Da Qing reminded him of a cat: hissing and bristling, pretending not to care, but actually attached to you for life and with a surprising capacity for love. Shen Wei knows a little about their common past, Yun Lan and Da Qing’s, about how Yun Lan got Da Qing off the streets, how he helped the younger man finish high school, how he made sure Da Qing would be accepted to the police academy… Shen Wei knows some of that, so he can only imagine how hurt Da Qing will be when he finds out that Yun Lan got married without ever even mentioning dating anyone.

And now it’s up to him, Shen Wei, to explain all of that to Da Qing, of course. If Shen Wei weren’t certain that Yun Lan’s migraine isn’t faked, he would suspect his husband of setting this whole thing up. Like he said: sometimes, very occasionally, once in a blue moon… he doesn’t like Yun Lan all that much.

The moment Shen Wei turns around, Da Qing opens his mouth to say something, probably to demand what Shen Wei is doing in his boss’ apartment. But before he can do that, Shen Wei lifts a stern finger to stop him and beckons him towards the kitchen, away from where Yun Lan’s sleeping. Da Qing’s glare turns even darker but he goes.

“What are you doing in Chief Zhao’s apartment, Professor Shen?” Da Qing demands the moment they walk around the kitchen counter, making it as far away from the sleeping space as possible without actually leaving the apartment.

Yes, Shen Wei was reading his expression right. And yes, Da Qing obviously still remembers him from the murder investigation at the Dragon City university that’s now almost two years back. Well, at least Shen Wei won’t have to actually introduce himself again. That would make this whole thing even more awkward. As if this could be any more awkward.

Clearing his throat, Shen Wei decides to be frank. “Yun Lan and I got married last year,” he states in a surprisingly collected voice that seems to do the job and hide the fact that he would rather be somewhere else. Anywhere else. Please.

Da Qing gapes. “You did what when?” he asks in utter disbelief.

“We got married,” Shen Wei replies, though his seemingly calm posture is ruined slightly when he pushes his glasses up his nose in a fidgety tick that he simply cannot unlearn.

“I don’t believe you,” Da Qing states, crossing his arms over his chest.

Well, that’s… unexpected. Whatever reaction Shen Wei anticipated, being not believed wasn’t it. “I… I can show you our marriage certificate?” he offers, now almost blushing and maybe a little too wide-eyed.

“He would’ve told us!” Da Qing argues. “He would’ve told me!”

Yes, Yun Lan should have. Not that Shen Wei didn’t get why he decided to keep his marriage private - watching your mother die at the hands of a killer who took her life for no other reason than because she was your father’s, a cop’s, wife, messes with your head and gives you anxieties no one else can truly grasp - but not telling even your closest friends…

“Nobody knows,” Shen Wei explains. “Well, except for his father who found out on his own and who doesn’t exactly… agree. With us. Yun Lan and me.”

Da Qing narrows his eyes but Shen Wei can feel he scored some points with him for being on Old Zhao’s bad side. Yun Lan’s team respects his father, certainly, as a policeman, for everything that he achieved in his life, but there’s no love lost between them either. They might not know what exactly happened between Yun Lan and his father but if they had to choose, they would always take their chief’s side.

Da Qing stares at him for a very long time, so long actually, that Shen Wei starts fidgeting slightly. Then, with a surprising perceptiveness, Da Qing says quietly, “It’s because of his mom, right? She died because of his dad’s job and he doesn’t want anything like that to happen to you, right?”

His eyes look surprisingly old and wise for such a young man, Shen Wei thinks. But then, he can only guess what Da Qing has been through, out on the streets. He hasn’t probably been really young for a very, very long time now.

Shen Wei looks straight at him. “Yes,” he answers simply.

Da Qing nods to himself. “I’m still furious with him and I’ll make him pay for lying to me, I will, you can bet on that, but… I guess I can understand that-that need to protect someone you love.”

Then he takes a fast, belligerent step forward, getting all in Shen Wei’s face, making Shen Wei blink nervously and lean back a little - and push his glasses up his nose again. “You be good to him, you hear me?” he hisses at Shen Wei, eyes blazing. “I’ll keep my eyes on you. And if you hurt him, I’ll... do something very bad to you.”

As strange as it sounds, that threat warms Shen Wei’s heart, the fact that Yun Lan has people in his life who love him and who will fight for him. It makes Shen Wei… calmer, more certain that Yun Lan will always have someone to lean on, no matter what.

“I would never hurt him,” Shen Wei says earnestly. “I believe in protecting him as much as you do.”

Da Qing studies him suspiciously a moment longer, then he jerks his right hand up, just the pinky extended towards Shen Wei. “Pinky swear on that?”

Pinky… swear? Shen Wei thinks, blinking down at the hand stuck out in his direction. He has no idea what that means but if it convinces Da Qing of his honest intentions, then… why not?

Smiling a little, Shen Wei lifts his hand and hooks his pinky around Da Qing’s who shakes their hands a little. “Pinky swear on that,” Shen Wei promises.

Then Da Qing sprawls against the counter, steals a piece of fish from the platter that Shen Wei prepared for dinner, and munching on it, he demands, “Now, give me all the embarrassing details, I want to know everything. I really need to make him suffer for lying to me and I need ammunition!”

And really, what can you say to that? Curiosity killed the cat... but satisfaction brought it back, didn’t it?

[trophywifejimgordon]

pre show hcs: jim & oswald

backstory headcanons under the cut; i’m putting these two together because they’re the most polished and also because i’m a gobblepot bitch at heart. a few barbara and fish ones snuck in as well, if that’s your cup of tea 👀👀👀

When Peter Gordon is still alive, he shows his sons (Jim and his younger brother Roger) his favorite western movies, which Jim retains a taste for all his life. Jim especially loves 3:10 to Yuma*, both back then and in the present, because of Ben Wade--honestly, he doesn’t realize it (and would never admit it), but his first crushes were on those gentlemen outlaw types. Seems like nothing ever changes.

Jim idealizes his father completely and withdraws into himself entirely when he dies. He’s angry & sulky as hell at first, which only gets worse when his mother remarries--he picks constant fights with his stepfather, who isn’t such a bad guy (he genuinely loves Jim’s mother and he and Roger get along, but then, Roger doesn’t have as many memories of Peter, and he doesn’t have Jim’s temper), but when years pass and Jim’s still in that angry, mourning state, things eventually get brutal. He leaves home senior year the second he turns 18, finishes the year couch surfing, and doesn’t look back. Enlists in the army because there’s no way he can afford college on his own and he stopped caring about his grades once his home life went to shit, so he’s not exactly first in line for scholarships. Spends the majority of his senior year with his high school sweetheart** Barbara Kean, whose parents tolerate him because he’s walking proof that she’s straight after all.

Ha.

Jim breaks up with her messily right before he enlists; she handles the breakup poorly (combining with her parent’s neglect to give her some pretty severe abandonment issues that will rock their relationship years into the future) and spends her first year of college at a prestigious school her parents kind of buy her way into (but kind of not, too; she’s a very talented artist with a passion for art history as well as a perfectionist driven by her parents’ expectations when she was in high school, and if things hadn’t gone as they did with James, she might have excelled at that university) completely wasted. She flunks her first semester and her parents pull her out in an outrage and stash her in a local Gotham school to save face, where she meets Renee Montoya, a very promising student with a criminal justice major who is brilliantly talented and in fact got accepted to Barbara’s fancy college all on her own, but couldn’t pay tuition. She pulls Renee into a toxic cycle of drug use and affairs and being miserable, tries to make her both everything Jim is and what he isn’t, and they circle around each other for the whole of their college careers through increasingly tumultuous make-ups and break-ups that wreak havoc on both their grades and their mental states. Finally, their last year of college, Renee breaks it off, apparently for good, and pulls herself up to good academic standing in the school and joins the GCPD soon after, while Barbara does nothing with her degree but laugh at it for a while, spending her life mostly between parties and hangovers.

Jim had one or two encounters in high school that might have been recognizably Not Straight, but he really finds out he’s bi when he’s in the army, stationed overseas with about 30 other men and no women whatsoever in his platoon. He fools around mostly--not particularly interested in falling in love or even really in lust--but accidentally forms a close bond with fellow soldier Eduardo Dorrance, with whom he starts sharing dreams and fears and hopes for after the war in between quick and cheap late night h*ndjobs. They fool around just enough that Jim knows it’s more than friendship for him, and for Eduardo too, he thinks, and that realization shows him what he probably already knows; this is nothing new to him, not really (understanding that puts everything in a new light for Jim and he looks back on some of the interactions he’d had and thinks oh--the way he’d always change fast in the locker room, looking at the walls and making no eye contact, making sure he’d never look around because he couldn’t bear for his eyes to linger and leaving as soon as he’d tugged on his shirt and tied his shoes, the uncomfortable attraction he’d had to that particularly strict football coach junior year, the claps on the back and knocks to the shoulder he’d give friends, feeling the contact for long afterward), and at the end of his service he just finds himself surprisingly comfortable with men, perhaps more than he’d ever been with girls back in school. That’s... pretty much the only thing the army makes him comfortable with. While he’s there, he becomes increasingly disillusioned with the United States military and the war he’s there to fight. He starts getting in arguments with superiors, and only escapes a dishonorable discharge by the fact that he’s shot in the stomach and sent home with a purple heart first.

(When Eduardo comes back to the States on leave and shows up at his doorstep hoping to reconnect, pick up where they left off, something, Jim throws him out with an anger he’s never quite felt before and can’t understand afterward, and that’s it for them... until recently.) 

Jim makes a full recovery and decides, while he’s in the hospital, that he wants to get a job where he can just help people--at first thinking idealistically, thinking about being a doctor or a lawyer or a case worker--someone he thinks could really make a difference. He starts trying to find a way to make this work in Gotham and inevitably runs into Barbara Kean, whom he reconnects with, and soon, she’s offering to fund his education and go back to school with him, and he can’t say no.

They move to Chicago, where Barbara goes to school and Jim takes night classes and works during the day to pay for their shitty apartment that he still couldn’t afford if Barbara(’s parents) weren’t footing the bill.

He gets through two years of school and leaves with an associate’s degree, feeling like he’s good for nothing. He wakes in the few hours he does get to sleep with nightmares from the army, and while Barbara is moving up, selling a few of her pieces and organizing galleries and rubbing elbows with high class people, he can’t find a career that does what he wants to do. Drinking in a bar one night (he does that increasingly regularly, coming home earlier and earlier in the morning and sometimes not at all), Jim sees a man trying to take advantage of some lady there and beats the shit out of him. The police are called, and Jim nearly gets arrested, but the lady steps in and begs them to let him go, saying he’s a hero. The cops give him advice: you want to be a hero, stop getting drunk in bars. Join the force.

Thinking that the army has ruined him for any career that doesn’t involve guns and violence, anyway, Jim joins the police academy. He moves back to Gotham while Barbara stays in Chicago, and graduates top of his class, the oldest recruit they picked up that year. He does his time as a uniform cop at a smaller precinct outside of Gotham, but his (sparse) education and military background, not to mention the reputation his father left behind as DA, mark him for better things, and within a year, he’s promoted to become a homicide detective at the GCPD. Barbara moves back to Gotham (back into the apartment she’d lived in since her undergraduate years, a big penthouse she’d never quite been able to let the lease run out on, for reasons that surely have nothing to do with the woman who still held the other key to it) and sets up her own studio and shit, and he moves back in with her, asks her to marry him, and everything gets all picked out. Jim starts the job investigating the Wayne murders. The rest, we know.

*The 1957 version, because somehow it seems like blasphemy to conceive of modern movies in the Gotham setting

**Okay, so this isn’t entirely accurate to Gotham canon. There’s a part in season one where Harvey is deconstructing Jim’s love life and says something along the lines of “let me guess: high school sweetheart, hoes overseas only made you sad, and then there’s Barbara,” which Jim more or less acknowledges. I guess the first time I heard it I misinterpreted the line and thought it meant that Barbara was the high school sweetheart, so by the time I realized that wasn’t it, I was already in deep with the headcanon... oh well. I explored that idea in this fic over here, if you’re interested. 

Now, Oswald, on the other hand... Oswald Cobblepot spends his childhood as the weird kid with the strange clothes and the faint foreign accent. He brings goulash to school in a thermos and is too close to his mother and has no friends whatsoever, but spends a lot of time at the library and, in his early years, gets top marks in all his subjects. He’d be a shoe-in for special attention or even a place at the prestigious private school on a merit scholarship, but that the teachers don’t like him very much (there’s some prejudice against him for his single mother and his accent, and for the smug way in which he knows everything they ask of him and more) and do nothing to help him get ahead. 

When he starts high school, Oswald decides to try and make friends. He kicks his accent to start talking more like the other students, and does his best to socialize, mostly with other kids in his smart classes. For one ephemeral semester, some of the girls find him cute and take him under their wings, inviting him to study and go to the mall with them. He’s definitely their “gay best friend,” although he doesn’t know that (doesn’t realize he’s gay) and in hindsight resents them for it. He does their homework for them and generally lets himself get walked all over in the interest of having friends for the first time in his entire life. It goes pretty well until they start inviting him to hang out with them when they’re with their boyfriends, and Oswald (who’s also never had a crush in his life) falls hard, still not realizing that what he’s feeling is attraction. He’s overly nice and asks the guys a lot of questions and offers them things and generally just fawns, which kind of freaks the dudes out (and naturally they get mad about it) while the girls get pissed off that he’s flirting with their boyfriends. Eventually, they just go back to bullying him like everyone else, and Oswald is alone again.

Oswald deals with Gertrude’s mental state on-and-off throughout his life. She’s a loving mother, and in her better times she reads to him and teaches him to cook and tells him stories of her childhood (though never of his father). In her worse states, she can tend toward paranoid and delirious, a product of her childhood fearing the secret police* while living in poverty, and can even lash out toward Oswald, thinking he’s someone else, or else refuse to let him leave their apartment, because she’s afraid he’ll leave her for better things like Elijah had. When he’s much younger, there’s a string of abusive boyfriends who give him a warped perception of what “love” and dating look like--ultimately, he’s pretty turned off to the subject. They either ignore or physically hurt Oswald, and hurt Gertrude emotionally, physically, and s*xually, especially when she’s in more vulnerable mental states. These states get worse as he grows up and starts coming home with increasingly bad injuries--she’s furious about the bullies, but doesn’t do much but smother Oswald in attention he grows to resent. 

Because of her instability, she’s in-and-out of jobs as a cook or a house cleaner, and they spend most years impoverished, Oswald having to mend his own clothes because they can’t afford new ones. Between caring for her and worrying about where dinner’s going to come from, Oswald’s grades start to slip, and eventually he drops out of school halfway through his senior year to work two jobs, as she’s too far gone to support them. He spends his days at a department store as a clerk (working retail is all the backstory Oswald needs to justify his misanthropy, lbr) and his nights as a dishwasher for some seedy bar he’s not old enough to visit. To make things harder than they should be, Gertrude is resistant to him going out, as she’s sure that he’s going off on dates with a hussy that he’ll eventually elope with. He still loves his mother, of course, but he’s starting to grow resentful of her mental illness and the degree to which he’s suffering--pushed around by assholes at work, up at all hours, hardly getting more of a rest than his lunch breaks and the hour between his shifts, and seeing his future as essentially ruined because of how high school experience turned out. Still, he has no obligations greater than his devotion to her, so he sets his teeth and bears it. Builds up a crazy level of patience, stamina, and pain tolerance, as well as a flood of negative emotions at the whole world. Every once in a while, on his rare day off, he’ll sit with Gertrude and and read her her novels, like she would read to him. She seems better during times like these; sometimes she’ll have him let her take over reading, and she’ll pet his hair. Sometimes she even has enough clarity to realize that she’s putting a huge strain on her son, and weeps, apologizing; he feels guilty, then, for all the resentment he’s got, all the times he thought about just running away. He works longer hours, tries to pay for medication for her. It’s showing improvement in stabilizing her moods, but at the same time, he’s operating on the edge of collapse.

Right when Oswald figures he can’t take it anymore, something changes: a young, fearsome Fish Mooney comes into possession of the bar Oswald works nights at and decides to change it into a respectable nightclub. She’s Falcone’s wunderkind, making him the highest profit margins, and so she gets pretty wide range for what she’s allowed to do. Most of the staff, she fires for boring her or for having the wrong “look” for her establishment, but when Oswald grovels to keep his job, she decides he’s funny, and besides, the groveling fuels her ego. She, like those girls at his high school, takes him under her wing; she first buys him a new suit (he takes eternal pride in it and washes it nightly; it starts off his obsession with fancy dress and presentation) and then gives him a list of jobs: he has to tend to various things around the bar and do a few humiliating chores, not the least of which include cleaning toilets, rubbing Fish’s feet, and carrying her umbrella. It’s demeaning, but honestly, he’s too thankful (then) to give much of a shit. 

She tells him to quit his other job so he can follow her around all day, and he protests that he’ll never be able to feed his mother--to which she responds that he’s getting a pay raise effective immediately. She’s got a soft spot for poor single mothers, after all. Now he’s got both a well paying job and more time on his hands than before--Fish is demanding, but not as demanding as two full-time positions. Used to working his ass off constantly, Oswald spends his newfound free time both entertaining his mother and studying to make up for the years of high school he missed--he gets his GED, and passes with flying colors. Thinks briefly of the life he could have had as an academic, but pushes that behind him. Too late to regret what’s already gone. Plus, he’s got a good gig--Fish is amused by him, but she’s also slowly starting to value his advice (if it’s given appropriately timed and with no one else around, a lesson he learns with great difficulty), and slowly trusting him with more of her secrets. Many nights it’s just the two of them at the club after hours, her complaining about some new issue, him doing petty accounting for her over a glass of wine. And as time goes on, Oswald starts to realize that Fish is Falcone’s most trusted ally, and he’s her most trusted employee. He’s got everything he’s ever wanted--his job’s enough to keep him and Gertrude above the poverty line, his mother’s mental health has at least partially improved, and he’s gaining influence in the mob. He’s not that surprised to find he’s got no qualms about this--the mob has given him shit he’s not gotten anywhere else, and after being put down and miserable for all his life, he finds no injustice in hurting other people to pave his way. When Butch Gilzean offers him a bat and lets him have a go at beating the shit out of some goon, the guy on the ground is everyone who ever made fun of his accent, every shitty guy who beat on his mother. It’s a good match for him.

So for a while, he’s content.

Then... Well, for the first time in his life, his basic needs are met without fighting every day to survive. Basically he’s tasted blood and he wants more, so when he realizes what Fish is planning to do about Falcone (sees it months before she even dares speak the concept out loud, in fact) he wonders if he couldn’t damn well do the same. 

So he starts listening. Writing notes at the end of the day, little tidbits of information. Who’s in on her scheme. How she’s going to do it. Moves she’s anticipating from him, and from Maroni. All the while, he’s planning. At the same time, the stress she’s under is coming out in the form of more abuse on Oswald’s head, and he’s growing more and more resentful of her. The first step of his plan becomes “replace Fish in Falcone’s inner circle.” He bides his time for nearly a year before the opportunity to set things into motion presents itself....

The Waynes are murdered. Gotham plunges into the deep. Oswald finds a way to survive.

*Isn’t there an episode where Gertrude talks about selling out a girl’s parents to the secret police? I feel like I distinctly remember that. Anyway, I’ve always felt like she was traumatized to a certain degree and the influence it has on Oswald is something we don’t talk about enough, so...