#what if i’m wasting my life🙃

[caucasianbuttslut]

Had a brief panic about my seven and a half hour daily screen time (an hour of which is on here…) and had to remind myself that I’m not depressed because of the internet I’m depressed because I have depression😔😔

[rosicheeks]

🤔

[miralparis]

argh!! (a post with me bitching in the tags about pottery today lol)

[random-writing-panda]

||•~ Growing pains ~•||

(Older)Damian Wayne x Reader

*My GIF

I’m finally getting better at making fic’s longer. As always I hope you guys enjoy it and that my inability to spell doesn’t reflect in my writing to much🙃 

Word count: 1.4k

Warnings: little bit angsty

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Damian starts to develop feelings towards his best friend, he doesn't understand what these feelings mean so who better to go to but his big brother Dick?

====================================

Damian hated this class. Out of all the classes he had to waste his day attending, this one was the worst because the one person who made school bearable was on the other side of the room. So, he was stuck sitting next to morons who only wanted to talk to him because he was Damian Wayne.  

He was zoned out not paying any attention to the class, he didn’t need to, he knew more about the subject then the teacher did and that left him to doing the one thing that had seemed to take over his life recently, drawing you. He sat there sketching lines onto his book glancing up to look over to you as you sat with your face resting in your hand looking half asleep. Damian smiled to himself as he looked back down to the sketch. No matter how many times he drew you he could never make it perfect, never fully capture the beauty you hold.

It had been almost two months of Damian drawing you. You had found one of his sketch books and were so shocked at how talented he was, the detail was incredible, so obviously as his best friend you begged him to draw you.  

∞∞

“No.” he sighed  

“C’monnnn Dami please! Just one sketch. It’s just one please!” you grab his arm and he squirms a little.

“Oh sorry... I forgot the touching thing. But seriously please? Just draw me once.” you pull you hand away and give him puppy dog eyes. You were the one person he listened to, not a lot, but more than anyone else.

“Fine. One okay?” he looks over to you and smiles as you start clapping and smiling.

“Thank you Dami!”  

∞∞

He had finished the sketch and just looked at it just wasn’t good enough, it was missing something and he couldn’t make it look perfect but you had seen him stop so you practically ran over to him and sat next to him and ran your fingers over the edge of the paper and you had smiled so much, you seemed so happy.  

As happy as you were with the picture Damian just couldn’t let go of the fact something was missing, so he tried again, using the picture of the two of you that he kept in his room as a reference.

It drove him crazy, whenever he saw you there was something so beautiful that he just couldn’t capture in his drawings and eventually after every day you spent together, he would sit down and draw it.  

Over the two months he had filled up the entire book with memories and whenever he looked through his sketchbook he was filled with happiness and something completely unexplainable.

“Damian since you seem to be paying attention what is the answer to the question?” the teacher asked trying to embarrass him. It backfired quickly when Damian answered correctly without even looking up from his book. The class tried to stifle their laughter as the teacher turned red and tried to continue with the class.

Damian shot his eyes up to look at you again and he heard your laugh after what had occurred and he just smiled back at you. He didn’t know what was happening to him.

How he felt about you confused him which he hated Damian absolutely hated not know what was happening especially when his own feelings are what were confusing him. He needed to know what was happening and he couldn’t work it out on his own... he needed help...  

∞∞

He was never going to let Damian live this down. Damien actually asking for someone else's help.

“I swear Grayson. You will never utter a word of this conversation to anyone is that understood?” Damian scowls at Dick as they sit across from each other.  

“Sure, okay fine what do you need help with Damian?” Dick slouches over resting his elbows on his knees.

“Whenever I’m with Y/n... I feel weird.” Damian says trying to piece together the words.

“Weird? What do you mean weird?”  

“If I knew what I meant I would have said that wouldn't I Grayson? Uh forget it.” Damian goes to stand up.

“No! Hey Damian, I'm sorry come on I want to help.” Dick says standing and gently puts his hand on Damian’s shoulder, “Just talk to me try to explain it?”

“Fine... when I’m with her I...I just...I feel like I’m happier... I feel like a better person and I feel...okay I mean actually okay.” Damian sat back down and but his head in his hands. “And... there is just something unexplainable and...I don’t understand... my entire life i have know exactly how to feel and how to respond... how to turn off my feelings...but I can’t and I don’t know how to deal with it... i don’t even know what it is!”

“Heh... sounds like you're in love.” Dick lets out a small almost sad chuckle. “First love...wow”

“Love?-”

“Yeah love it is what happens when people-”  

“I know what love is Grayson!” Damian replies hastily and rolls his eyes, “I just didn’t know it felt like... this...”

“It’s love. It feels like love. You just know!” Dick says almost like he was confused  

“No Grayson. I don’t know that’s why I came to you.” Damian knew people didn’t understand but at this point they didn’t even try to understand that he couldn't process emotion like other people, they just brush it off.

“I’m trying to be supportive but how do you not know what love is like? Any kind of love?”

“Well Dick some of us didn’t grow up perfectly.”

“Perfectly?! Perfectly really?? No one in this house grew up perfectly! Except maybe Alfred, but that’s beside the point!”

“Yeah well you could be less of a dick, Dick.” Damien stood up and walked away without a second thought.

∞∞

“I will never understand the need for a bed the size of a normal room.” You laugh as you fall back onto Damian’s bed and lay there looking up at his ceiling.

“I don’t get it either but its comfortable.”  Damian raises his head and puts his pencil on his desk.

“I agree maximum comfort levels. I should sleep over more.” you smile and watching you on his bed his face heats up and you move around on the bed and walk over to him.

You sit up on his desk and look down at Damian’s sketch book.

“Is that me?” you move to grab the book, but Damian gets to it first and slams it shut.

“Nope.” his eyes meet yours and he smiles, “Not you at all.”  

“Hm I don’t think so, I'm pretttyy sure that was me.”  

He looks down and he tried to stay calm. Did you hate him? Did you think he was creep? Were you going to stop hanging out with him?

“Let me see it!” you laugh and try to grab the book.

“No!”  

“Please?”

“...Fine...”

He hands the book over to you and his hand brushed yours and you smiled.

You open the book to the first page and see a beautiful sketch of your day out at the beach with him, you flip over the pages one by one and are met with an entire book full of drawings of you.

“Damian...”

That was it you thought he was a creep.

“These are so amazing...” you reach the end of the book and find a page with your sketch in a box in the middle of the page.

“Sorry...this is weird...” He looks at the wall and straightens up in his seat.

You reach over and place your hand on his cheek, you run your finger over the side of his face.

“What are you talking about? They are amazing Damian what are you embarrassed about?”

“You don’t think I'm creepy for having a sketch book full of pictures of you?” Damian laughs and leans into your hand.

“No... it's so sweet.” you look down trying to force words pass the lump in your throat. “It’s nice to have the guy you like take that much interest in you...” you mumble to quietly.

“You like me?”

“Yeah...maybe...a little bit...”  

“Good.” Damian stands up and tugs you off the desk and hugs you. “Because... I think I like you too.”

“Damian?”

He pulls back.

“Yeah...?”

“Can I kiss you?”  

He smiles and you lean into him and press your lips against his and you slowly close your eyes,grasping your waist tightly he pulls you closer to him. The moment seems to last for an eternity and once you pull away you rest you head on his chest.

“Just one sketch huh...?” you look up and Damien rolls his eyes at chuckles.

“Just one sketch.”  

================

Tag list:

[emilymk20]

TW: $u!c!d3 $h 4n4

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…

This is my note that I’ve had written out for a while 🙃 Fair warning, it is really long. I don’t know, maybe it could help somebody, whether it helps them keep going or just helps them relate. Much love 🫶🏻🖤

This is so cliche, but I feel obligated to leave some kind of explanation. I am absolutely positive there has always been something wrong with me. Normal people don’t want to die at eleven years old. One thing I was always good at was covering it up; I almost wish my struggle was more visible, but I know that people always just want to help and truthfully help is the last thing I want. More reason why there’s probably something wrong because who thinks like that? The one thing that I am losing is empathy. It was always empathy that made me “better.” I didn’t want to make anyone waste their time worrying and I didn’t want to be seen for what I am so I started eating more, I stopped cutting myself, I didn’t take the pills, I didn’t cry, I didn’t let myself feel anything. In a way that made me hold on; the idea that I didn’t want anyone to have to find my body, I didn’t want anybody to mourn me, I didn’t want anyone to think that they could have helped me, and I definitely didn’t want anyone to think that the decision I made was their fault. I don’t expect anyone to understand it, but nothing happened to make me feel this way. Some awful things have happened in the midst of it, but there’s no root cause or trigger; I apply blame to nothing and nobody except myself and the operations of my own brain.

I’m tired. It’s so difficult to explain, but I think I’ve felt so deeply for so long, I have nothing left to feel. I feel like a shell of a person. I’ve noticed a recent trend in the past three years that I’ve never experienced before in the impulsively of my emotional rollercoaster. I’ll spend days, weeks, sometimes months feeling so proud of myself and hopeful, motivated more than ever before to better myself, happy where I am, and then in a matter of minutes it all slips away from me. I push everyone away and I can’t help but stop trying. I won’t eat or I’ll eat until I’m sick from it, I’ll cut myself because that’s the only thing that can make me feel, I won’t sleep at all or I’ll sleep all day, I won’t clean, I won’t shower, I won’t even get up to use the restroom. It’s as if I go completely brain dead, but my thoughts still won’t stop racing. Then, once I can come to terms with it all and maybe find a solution, the mania hits again and it all doesn’t matter anymore because I feel like I’m on top of the world. I don’t eat because it feels good to be hungry or I’ll eat a lot because “I deserve it,” I don’t sleep because that seems like so much valuable time going to waste, or I’ll sleep a lot because it’s a form of self care and if my body is that tired I should let it, and I’ll cut myself still because it’s empowering and I find it almost pretty. Nothing tangible ever changes, just the unbearable fluctuation of my head. Maybe that’s why it’s so easy for me to hide it, because to everyone on the outside, that is my normal.

I constantly feel like I’m watching myself glued to a tightrope. I can pull myself down to my lowest, feeling all that tension, and then suddenly skyrocket to my full potential. Well, I have to fall back down at some point, and I always do. The only thing is that I’m stuck. I’m stuck in my head in that cycle and the only way out is to fall off. Sure, there’s ways to get make it bearable, I mean there has to be some diagnosis for all this to explain it, but would I really want to spend my life maintaining symptoms? Would I really want to spend my whole life fighting? No. I don’t even want to spend the present fighting. I know from the outsider’s perspective I just seem lazy, and trust me, I feel that way too.

I can’t even begin to describe how exhausting it is. What I think about often is how humans are awake during the day, but you can always take a break when nighttime comes to sleep. I’m hyper aware of everything that takes my energy that I don’t have control over. My brain never stops thinking, my blood never stops pumping, my body never stops breathing…I know these are things that regular people don’t think about, but with every breath I take it feels like a loss. I just want nothing more than real rest and peace of mind. I don’t understand why things bother me when everyone else wouldn’t even have these thoughts pass their mind. Why am I so introspective and aware? Ignorance truly is bliss.

It seems really crazy, maybe because I am crazy, but the higher points of my life are more painful than the lows have been. There’s something so comforting about losing my drive, letting myself slow down, watching myself rot away and fall further from reality; it’s almost my ideal, but not quite. I just want true rest. I really wish I had the option to completely start over. I romanticize my childhood so much; bittersweet nostalgia is my biggest downfall. I was so clueless then; so full of joy. I wish that I could put my finger on what happened and when it all went wrong. I don’t know why I long for that life so much now; I love being independent and having the freedom to make my own decisions as an adult, but maybe it’s the immanence of responsibility always pushing me down. I miss the days before it started looming over me. I don’t feel as though I was ready to be on my own, I don’t think I ever learned how to handle that freedom because all I’ve done is abuse it. There are irreparable decisions that I’ve made for the specific purpose of digging myself deeper in a hole because I feel like that’s what I deserve. You can say that’s not true all you want, but it’s a little too late to still be invalidating my feelings so allow me.

My self hatred is so deep rooted, I can feel it in every nerve of my body. I’m embarrassed by myself. Truly, if I was somebody else, I wouldn’t even speak to me. I am undesirable in every aspect; I harbor so much jealousy, I’m a deadbeat, it’s probably been a decade since I’ve made a “good decision,” I’m annoying, I talk way too much, I have a huge ego (which is interesting because obviously I don’t like myself all that much), I have too much baggage, I’m ugly, I’m insecure, I have no room to consider anyone else in life, and I don’t care. To my core, I wish I could be anyone but me. I don’t know how to describe the gravity of me wishing I was dead. It doesn’t even seem like that big of a deal to me anymore because in all honesty I feel like I’ve been slowly slipping away anyways. Death is not a stranger to me; I feel like I’ve been hanging out on the front porch of the end for far too long, and I just can’t wait to step through that door. When I was little, it was always, “I want to die, but I guess I can wait until after _______…” There was still some hope back then. Now it seems that my hope has run out for me and I just don’t care anymore. I am sorry, but I have exhausted every option for me, and I believe that it’s time for me to regain control at least for a final moment.

[twopoppies]

Look at the difference 🙃 https://www.tumblr.com/coldtimemachinewizard/712614348450906112/lets-play-a-game-called-body-language-part-1

Yeah. It’s very obvious that Freddie isn’t really comfortable around Louis.

But, look, I think what Louis wants people to take away from this film is that he’s a good dad who dotes on his kid. It’s pointless to keep trying to prove he’s not his kid. Those of us who know, know. I’m done yelling about it. That doesn’t seem to be what Louis wants or needs at this point. Whatever the future of babygate is, he’s going to deal with it in whatever way he sees best. As a fan, I’m focused on his music. I just can’t waste any more of my life on babygate.

[nahoney22]

May I request female reader getting a surprise visit from Crosshair after so long of him being gone on missions with the rest of the Batch? Maybe the two have a nice, calm, romantic evening together? NSFW is optional. Writer's choice 🙃

In His Arms***

Crosshair X F!Reader

word count: 3.2k

Crosshair gives you a surprise appearance at work and wants to give you everything you missed.

warnings: NSFW. 18+ only. Soft smut, creampie, blow jobs, cunnilingus, established relationship, brief mentions of alcohol flirting, swearing, praise, dirty(?) talk. Sex at work. Pre Imperial Crosshair. Not proof read.

Masterlist 🤍

Another day, another long shift at the bakery you worked at.

Despite loving your job, the hours were long and being on your feet behind a counter all day was certainly paying the price. You couldn’t complain fully, however. You were paid well, your boss was lovely and you could take home any leftover baked goods instead of throwing them in the trash for free! Also, it is how you met the love of your life.

When Crosshair made his first appearance at the shop, you were sweeping the floor by the door from a customer who decided to spill most of it onto the floor rather than their mouth.

Then, the door slammed open with an almighty force and completely knocked you onto your bum. Luckily, you didn’t hit your head and fall unconscious because then you wouldn’t have laid eyes on the most handsome being you had ever seen.

Tall, slim yet somewhat muscular, silver hair and piercing eyes, he made your heart jump out to your chest and into your mouth the moment he laid eyes on you.

His hand extends and before you know it, he’s hoisting you up onto your feet and grunts an apology on behalf of his brother who was too eager to get inside. He let you go and moved on but when you were behind the counter, serving him and his brothers, his gaze not once left you. It wasn’t until they were left when you spotted he left something on the counter under his empty plate: his comm number. It took you two days of courage building to reach out and ever since, you had been his girlfriend.

The downside however was that you never really saw him. Maybe once every month or two. The last time you spoke, which was last night, he told you that he would be home in a week.

So, why did you almost faint the moment you saw him walk through that very same door ten seconds ago?

Luckily, the bakery is a little quieter today and so you waste no time in practically leaping over the counter to wrap your arms around the Sniper.

“Crosshair? What’re you doing here?” You enthuse in excitement, not even shying away from giving you a sweet and well needed kiss to his lips surrounded by some of your regulars.

He chuckles, using one arm to wrap around yoh and lift you off your feet for a second for better access. “Wanted to surprise you, sweetness.” He utters quietly but with a hint of a smirk.

“Can’t believe you’re here.” You sigh happily, the sudden wave of relief knowing he was home, safe and alive.

He places a kiss on your temple and escorts you to an empty table, both of you not really caring that you were in the middle of work and currently had some delicious smelling bakes in the oven at the back.

Sitting across from him, he holds out his hands to you, a sweet and often not seen gesture from him but once you place your hands in his, his thumbs enclose around your fingers and gently stroked them. “What time do you get off?”

“I’m on a close tonight.” You pout sadly. You’d think a bakery would close late afternoon but no, not this one. But then again, who wouldn’t want some delicious cakes and pastries late at night?

You see him in deep contemplation. “I was going to suggest we go out for dinner after work. My treat.” He tells you, eye brows a little furrowed as he attempts to come up with a better solution.

“Well I’m only on a morning shift tomorrow so we could do something then?”

Unfortunately, he shakes his head. “Not possible. We need to prepare to go to Kaller tomorrow.”

The fact he was going so soon made your heart ache and the sadness was evident on your face. “Oh.”

Crosshair sighs, tapping his feet agaisnt the floor and his hold on your hands get a little firmer.

He hated seeing you sad and he knows that it was because he couldn’t spend as much time with you like you both desired.

Desire. Soemthing he always had for you and being away made it a grim mission for him to stay focused. But how can he focus when at night he receives maybe a kinky picture or risky text from you to remind you of how much you ‘missed’ him.

He was determined to have a nice night with you and your work certainly wasn’t going to stop him. “I’ll stay here then. Until you close.”

Your lips part and you let out a snicker in disbelief. Looking to the clock and then back at him, you smirk. “I don’t close for another six hours… I doubt you want to stay.”

“If it means watching you walk around in that cute little apron, I do.” When Crosshair flirts with you, you act how you do the first time he did. With you cheeks growing hot and stomach twirling, you had to avert your eyes from his intoxicating stare.

“Are you sure?” You finally ask him after he gives you a playful nudge under the table, pushing you for an answer. One thing you loved about Crosshair, he was devoted to you. Completely.

At first, he was reserved and his brothers would say to you that he never seemed like the relationship type but how wrong they were. Was he as affectionate than others? Probably not but that never bothered you. He gave you the perfect amount of affection and you never wanted to smother him.

“Best go make me some Caf for the wait, sweet cheeks.”

The sun had set and the illuminating OPEN sign on the window by the door was switched off. Finally, that shift was over.

After your mad dash of cleaning, wrapping up food for the next day, sweeping and mopping the floor, you completely jump out of your skin when you turn to see Crosshair standing across the floor, arms folded. How could you even forget he was still here?

“I didn’t think those oldies would ever leave.” He grumbles, crossing the room until he’s in front of you and his hands are on your hips.

“Oh leave Zebrka and Gurt alone. They’ve been my regulars for well over five months now.” You roll

your eyes with a smile, hands reaching up and resting against his dark cuirass. “Anyway, you have me all to myself now.”

Your gleaming features made him grin. He picks you up and places you on one of the few tables you had for the patrons to sit and eat at. “Finally. I’ve… I’ve missed you a lot, cyare.” His voice quietens and you always embrace his vulnerability whenever he dared showed it. Rarely.

“I’ve missed you too.” A hand moves from his chest and up to his left cheek, thumb ever so gently stroking over his 5 o’clock shadow. “But you’re here and I’m here.”

“Soon I won’t be though.” He grumbles and for a moment you see the hatred of War in his eyes. He shouldn’t even be here with you, shouldn’t be with you at all. But he had love deep within to give and you were the fire that set a bonfire off in his heart.

With a sad smile, you watch as his eyes close and his head ever so gently leans into your touch on his cheek. “Then let’s make the most of it, hm? I’m sure I could maybe find a nice wine in the back.”

He chuckles, a wonderful sound to hear but always knew you were partial to a glass of wine or three.

“Now why would my little Baker have wine hiding about?” He criticised playfully to which you can only roll your eyes at his silly nickname for you.

“Not me di’kut,” you jump off the table, brushing past him but giggling as he tries to hold you back until he finally let you slip away and watches you walk behind the counter, “my boss keeps it incase we make some, let’s say exotic and alcoholic cakes.”

Crosshair smirks, accepting your answer and watches you leave only to return a minute or two later after hearing you rummaging around, you emerge with a bottle of red and two glasses. They weren’t wine glasses but it held the same job, regardless.

He allows you to take your seat on the table again, sandwiching yourself between his legs and pour him a glass and then yourself. “So, what should we cheers to?”

He raises a brow. “Is there an occasion I should know about?” He’s rummaging in his mind. Was it your birthday? No, surely not. He would remember. The date you two got together? Doubtful.

“No.”

Trying to show he wasn’t at all worried, he takes his glass from you and holds it up a little. “Then how about how I am going to absolutely worship you tonight?”

Eyes widening and mouth opening in shock, you glowed beautifully in front of him. “I wasn’t aware we’d be going back to mine tonight?” You sounded slightly eager, already feeling yourself get aroused at the thought of having some special alone time with him.

Crosshair chuckles, almost seductively and sucks on his teeth. “Who said we had to go back to yours, nau be ner oyay?” He cooes, craning his head lower to yours before taking a swig of his wine.

You had no idea what he just said but the cord that had been holding you back from lunging at him finally snapped. You take your drink and swig it all down your throat, carelessly dropping it onto the table before you attack his lips with you own.

He welcomes you, devours you in an instant. He doesn’t care about the glasses either, dropping it carelessly to the floor. You heard it shatter but that was a problem for later. For now, you just wanted him.

Despite the cold and hardened exterior, his kisses with you were always long and meaningful. Hands bite at your waist and he swallows the moan you let out.

He’s perfect in every sense of the word and an absolute expert when it comes to undressing you with his eyes closed.

The scenario itself was dirty, kissing and probably more at your work after hours but it was also beautiful. He waited for you, he came back to just see you and spend as much time as he could. He could have gone elsewhere and came back but no.

When you’re suddenly naked, a chill runs down your spine as your breasts press against his cold armour. “I think it’s your turn to be undressed Mr.” You grin against his lips and in return you take pleasure in him grabbing your hands and guiding them towards his codpiece.

“Help me out then, babe.”

You pull away from his lips and make easy work at his codpiece along with the rest of his armour until he’s in his body glove. Like the first time you saw his cock, you lick your lips and feel a pulse in your core as you admire his obvious hard on that was straining against his blacks.

“See something you like?“

“As always.” Your reply is laced with enticement, watching in awe as he begins to slide out of his blacks.

When his cock springs free, tip already leaking with pearly white cum you had to hold back a moan. Instead, you allow your hand to drift towards him and you hear him hiss a little as you swipe a thumb over his tip.

He murmured soft words of encouragement and watched in amazement as you get on all fours on the table and got into a position so your face was inches away from his cock. You tried to ignore the fact that many customers ate on these tables but it’s not like you don’t clean them ten times a day or more.

Crosshair is responsive to your touch. He writhes and jaw becomes slack as his hands nestle in your hair. It was the hottest thing you ever saw, Crosshair being open and wanting everything you could give him. He’s clutching onto your hair tighter the more he feels you go deeper and deeper until his tip stabs at the back of your throat. He tastes like salt. But it’s beautiful. As soon as you gag, he pulls away a little.

Time is passing and he is calling out your name like it was the only word he knew. You’re gentle with him, just like he tries to be with you.

Whispering your name some more, his chanting gets louder until that sensation hits him. He had to pull away, he didn’t want to finish like this. Crosshair was a lot of things but a selfish lover was not one.

The second he pulls out of your mouth, a trail of saliva follows and you look up at him with lust-filled eyes. “Come.” He gestures to you to sit up and when you do, he wastes no time in positioning you right where he wanted you which was splayed perfectly on the table with your pussy in his face.

Trailing kisses up your thighs, nipping, biting and licking but it’s all gentle, so gentle. He’s teasing you, watching you from between your legs to see what gets your blood going and as soon as he sees what you like, his tongue trails agonisingly slowly against your folds.

Under such a euphoric feeling, your mind melts and your body succumbs to him as your body dissolves into a puddle of pure lust.

“So beautiful,” he utters your name against your pussy, repeatedly telling you how beautiful you taste, look and even smell, “I can’t be without you.”

If he weren’t absolutely ravishing your pussy right now, you were bound to have cried at his words. Instead, you can only cry in pleasure as your head rolls back as he sucks on that perfect spot that has your toes curling and heart racing.

A knot ties in your stomach. “Crosshair… I’m….” You groan, fingers gripping the edge of the table as if you would slip away into a void of ecstasy and never to return.

“Please cum, babe.” He commands softly, gently prying your legs to open wider. Usually he was quite a dominant lover but tonight he was showing his softer side.

As he ordered, you came. Waves of pleasure shoot through you and stars blur your vision as you descend from your high.

Your eyes are closed as you feel his stand to his feet, taking a hold of your waist to assist you with sitting up. He chuckles as you’re a little floppy to begin with, legs still spasming but he holds you to his chest and rubs your back. “Good girl. Did you like that, hm?” Crosshair purrs.

Only being able to nod, you sigh as you feel him give you the most loving aftercare he could. He wasn’t perfect at it, a little timid at showing his vulnerability but he wanted to be the best for you.

After a while, you pull your face out of his chest and place a lazy kiss on his neck. “Crosshair.” You whisper softly and he already knew what was coming next.

“Spread your legs again for me.”

So you did, waiting impatiently for him to line himself up with your already soaked and tender pussy. You cry out as he slid into you, slowly stretching you open.

It had been a while clearly, and even he hissed as he felt you adjust to his size. “So tight, cyare. You okay?” He doesn’t look at you, just focusing on how sexy it looked seeing his length lush into you and fill you out.

“Perfect,” you moan gently, a hand coming up to rest on his shoulder as if it’d give you any signs of support, “you’re perfect.”

He looks up at this and a small smile graces his lips. Leaning forward, he kisses your lips tenderly before slowly starting to rock his hips. He takes his time with you tonight, wanting to savour every moment he can.

He feels that same wetness that was on his lips that he exploded just minutes ago, feeling you close around his throbbing cock.

You feel his hand grope at your tits, tweaking over your stiffened nipples and even taking one in his mouth. The way he worked his hips were expertly, a gentle rhythm but you could feel every inch of him. He’s hitting you deep, his teeth gritting together as he does his best to not cum in you so soon. He wanted this to last as did you but even you were finding it difficult.

“F-faster, please.” You stutter in pleasure, laying down flat on the hard table. When he picks up the pace, his hands grasp a little harshly at your hips but not enough to hurt you.

“You like this, huh? You like this princess?” He’s panting heavily, stamina wearing thinner the longer he goes on but hearing your little whimpers of pleasure was giving him the urge to carry on.

The table beneath you is rocking, slamming up against the wall with every rock of his hips. It’s creaking and beginning to wobble, you try to focus on Crosshair but as you hear something hit the floor that was similar to a nail, you grow a little anxious.

“Crosshair, t-the table.” You bite through the pleasure but he didn’t address it. Well, you didn’t think he did anyway.

Another few rocks and another few nails coming loose and clattering to the ground, your heart races as the wobbling becomes a little wary.

Then, there’s a loud crack and in a second the table collapsed. You squealed out loud, ready to collapse onto the floor but it never came. Crosshair had scooped you up into his arms, flushed to his chest and did not stop fucking you. Not once.

“Think I’d let you fall? Never.” He grunts, hips snapping up into you and it’s not long until he gives you a warning before he paints the insides of your walls with his seed.

When it’s all over and your cleaned and dressed, you place your hands on your hips as you look at the broken table. “My boss is going to kill me.” You grumble, kneeling down and collecting all the parts with Crosshair leaning against the counter, toothpick between his lips.

“You don’t have to tell him you broke it by us fucking hard on it.” He smirks and your cheeks grow warm.

“Not a fan of how you said ‘you’ when it was ‘us’ who broke it.” You roll your eyes, glancing over your shoulder at him to which he only shrugs.

He helps you back to your feet once you’ve put all the screws back on a table and he pulls you to his chest. “I have to leave soon.”

It was always bittersweet when he tells you he had to leave but by the way his arms wrap around you, hugging you close it will always feel like he’s still there after he lets go.

“I’ll help you fix the table but first,” he lifts you onto your work counter, brushing a strand of messy hair out of your face, “let me kiss you again.”

Masterlist

More Crosshair Work

tags: @teletraan-meets-jarvis @jennamelinda12 @nunanuggets @andyoufollowyourheart @littlefeatherr @kaitou2417 @eyecandyeoz @captxin-rex x @cwarssimp p @jesseeka @ashotofspotchka @oohyesplease @megafrost4 @adriiibell l @theroguesully @equalityforcats @rexandechosandwich @mustluvecho o @inagalaxywickedfahaway y @misogirl828 @ladykatakuri @sadspring @chxpsi @alexandrisonfire @arctrooper69 @padawancat97 @rain-on-kamino @by-the-primes @torchbearerkyle @tech-aficionado @in-the-crosshairs @therealnekomari @a-c-lee @autumnleaves1991-blog @tech-depression-inventory @mylifeinthetardisforever @brynhildrmimi i @greaser-wolf @lucyysthings s @agenteliix @fiveshelmet @photogirl894 @cosmic-persephone @imalovernotahater @rintheemolion

[englishstrawbie]

I saw your tag and i'm happy too!!! People are whinning a lot and it seems like they dont know that pregnancies on tv (SPECIALLY shondaland) aren't like fanfic. We get 2 or 3 scenes and a time jump.

Life changes and they're just adopting a baby, not removing Carina's uterus 🫠🫠🫠🫠

I'm also noticing some weird takes about adoption and people forgetting this is an essembled show and we have limited marina screen time so I rather see them with a baby thant a 2 secs scene of Maya kissing a bump lol

Well, we don’t actually know that they’re adopting a baby - it’s all speculation based on one synopsis. 😂 But there’s certainly a strong feeling that they might go there.

And look… even as someone who isn’t massively interested in the baby storyline, I understand the frustration because it’s been 2 years of this storyline already (and season 5 really was a waste of time) and fans are invested in getting a happy ending- but also, what else are the writers supposed to do in 10 episodes? IVF isn’t a click of fingers and snap here’s a baby - at least not if they’re going to tell it properly.

Sure, in an ideal world we’d get to see it all - the IVF process, the pregnancy, the birth, and motherhood. But the reality is that the show has been cancelled and it’s looking likely that we only have these 10 episodes left to wrap up the storyline. The end of season 6 and the orphaned baby gives the writers the chance to give fans what they’ve been asking for - to see Maya and Carina as moms. I think that’s something to be happy about.

Yes, Carina has talked about how much she wants to give birth and I hope this is addressed, but adopting a baby doesn’t stop that from happening for her. Adoption also isn’t something to be demonised just because it doesn’t fit within fans’ preferred narrative. After all they’ve been through, maybe Maya and Carina see this as a chance to build their family and give this baby a happy life instead of one growing up in the social care system? (From what I’ve seen and heard from people who have actually been through the IVF process, changing your mind about how you grow your family isn’t uncommon.)

Ok, I’m getting off my soapbox now! 🙃 I’m staying in my bubble of being excited for the new season and interested in what sort of happy ending Maya and Carina are going to get. And, even though we might not get to see them on our screens any more, they’re going to live on in fanfic and headcanons and group chats because that is one of the joys of fandom. ❤️

[khaire-traveler]

you get enough asks of people with similar questions and i told myself i wouldn’t add to the list, but i’m rly struggling rn.

i’ve been an active hellenistic polytheist for 3 years now, and an apollo worshiper for around 2.

yet, i haven’t really felt a connection to apollo for a year now. anytime i pray to him, it feels hollow.

i know that the advice people typically give is to move on, but i feel like then it’d be a waste. its quite terrible of me to say, but ive spent so much money and time setting up such a dedicated altar just for it to collect dust.

any ideas or advice? no worries if not. have a lovely day my friend :]

Hey, Max, thank you for the ask! I apologize for the delay.

So, I originally wrote a whole ass post that had paragraphs of information, suggestions, and advice, but Tumblr hates me and decided to just crash and not save literally any of it. 🙃 I'm hoping I can give you good information regardless of this setback. Also, please don't feel bad about asking questions; I honestly enjoy it, especially since some information can be hard to come by. All my information is merely advice and suggestions based on my own experience, but I hope it's helpful to you - and maybe even others - regardless.

The first thing I'll do is share some links that could be helpful for you. This one talks a bit about Deity Disconnect™ - something that I feel I can safely say has happened to every pagan and polytheist. Sometimes faith and spirituality come in waves, ebbing in and out as naturally as the ocean, but it doesn't always mean that a deity has left us. If you'd like to try reconnecting with Apollo through bonding activities and the like, this link and that link both lead to posts that mention some ways you can bond with a deity. Although I'm not sure if any of these will be helpful to you, I hope that they are. 🧡

I feel it's also important to mention that many devotees of Apollo find it difficult to connect with him during the winter. For me, I feel the feeling of disconnect begin as early as the middle of Fall and stay as late as the very beginning of Spring. Many attribute this to the myth of Apollo leaving for Hyperborea and leaving his seat in Delphi for Dionysus to temporarily take over. If you've been trying to reconnect during Winter, or even potentially Fall, the disconnect from Apollo may feel even stronger than usual because of this. I would wait to readdress this issue with him until Spring rolls around, personally, just in case this disconnect could be contributing to your problem at all.

Along with all that, I'm inclined to ask whether you've addressed this topic with him directly. Have you been able to communicate with Apollo directly about this and get his thoughts? In my experience, deities will typically let you know if they're stepping away, rather than yoinking away super suddenly and without a given cause (or at the very least, they are more than willing to provide a reason if you ask them); this tends to be especially true when it comes to deities you've been very close with in the past. If you haven't already, I'd highly encourage you to speak with Apollo in a format that allows him to provide a response to your questions, such as divination or meditation.

I do also have to say that sometimes deities leave but return later. It's entirely possible he is simply taking a break or stepping away temporarily. Maybe he feels you need to focus on other deities more at this time or he has simply taught all he can (or all that's relevant) at the moment. He could return full force later on in your life, be it a few days from now or a few years. This is something I'd ask him about specifically in order to clarify his intentions.

Ok, but what if he really is leaving and doing so in a more permanent fashion? Well, in that case, I encourage you to do whatever feels right for you. Take down his altar, or leave it up; it's entirely your choice. Even when deities leave our lives, they never truly leave, and most of the time, if we need a deity's help, we are still welcome to call upon their aid, even if they've "left". It's also possible that he is still ok with you worshipping or venerating him, even if he does choose to step away. There are some deities that I mostly just venerate but don't do much else past that, and that's perfectly ok. Sometimes it just feels nice to acknowledge a deity and show them appreciation, even if you're not particularly close to them. These are all things you need to have a direct conversation with Apollo about, however, as I cannot speak for him or what he is comfortable with.

Although it can feel like a waste of time, energy, and hell even money, please do remember that it is never truly a waste if your relationship to Apollo meant something - and still means something - to you. You put genuine time, love, and care into the altar you created, and regardless of what happens going forward, I'm sure he still appreciates that. It's important to know that when a deity feels the need to step away, it's not because they stop caring for you or the time you've spent together; they simply feel it's in your best interest for them to be more distant for the time being, but regardless, they are still there. They are still present in the world and life around you. Apollo can still be felt in the warmth of the sun on your skin and the rush of excitement you feel when the beat of music reverberates in your chest. He is still near, even if he feels far. He is still there, even if he feels absent. These are not things you're required to focus on or even acknowledge, however, if it makes you uncomfortable or you'd rather terminate your relationship with Apollo. I just figure it may be comforting to hear.

If the following doesn't apply to you at all or you simply disagree with my perspective, please feel free to completely disregard all this; it's heavily based on my own personal experience and beliefs. Do you work with Apollo or worship him? I know it sounds rather silly and somewhat ridiculous to ask, but I have personally noticed a significant change in my deity relationships when I focused more on worship than work. I have noticed that, a lot of times, deity work can end in that deity eventually departing because the things you're working on can eventually be resolved or improved enough that you no longer need them. To me, personally, deity worship often has a more permanent meaning, although that obviously doesn't ring true for everyone. If you were doing deity work with Apollo, it's entirely possible that he feels he's helped you the best he can with whatever you originally reached out about and has decided that you no longer need his assistance or guidance. If that's the case (which it obviously could not be), then you can absolutely ask him if he's comfortable switching your relationship to something that is more long-term worship based rather than short-term "please assist me with this specific thing" based. And since I'm sure someone will mention it, I do want to acknowledge that there is nuance in every type of deity relationship, and you can absolutely have a long-term "deity work" based relationship and a short-term "deity worship" based relationship. There are exceptions to everything, and everything contains nuance and complexity. I don't want to discount either of those things; this is just me sharing something based on my personal understanding, and no one has to take me at face-value.

Anyway, I hope I was able to answer your question and give you some suggestions or advice that helps. Regardless, I hope you're able to figure this situation out and that Apollo can address you more directly about it. I wish you the best on your spiritual journey. Take care, and have a good day/night. 🧡

[machiavellli]

I want to have a little discussion about the behavior of an anon:

*Possible Hogwarts legacy spoiler in the pic, even if I covered them, and the discussion is spoiler free don’t worry*

I really can’t understand why a person would want to waste even just mere seconds of their life just for trying to cause pain in others…is your life that bad?

In any case my dear facc ‘e cazz che par ‘a wallera anon, jokes on you: I already (willingly) spoilered the entire game to myself🥰 when it first came out, because I never thought I would be able to get it and I wanted to know what happened. And also because I can’t stand any level of thriller, seriously when it’s night in the game I feel already too much pressure LOL💀💀

But this really got me wonder the intention behind this…you wanted to hurt me? To ruin the game that I openly express my excitement about? But why? Do you know me? Did I do something to you? Or is negativity just so present in yourself that you can’t help but be just genuinely a bad person, which it’s simply just sad. Your attempt is sad.

And that “oh and…” who are you? My little cousin (who is twelve) trying to do a trick on me🤨🤨

But believe me when I said that nothing on this platform is ever going to be as relevant as anything else that actually happens in real life.

(Besides the fact that I just recived a splendid news and honestly I can’t stop similing right now for the excitement, so you really tried in the most unuseful moment lol)

I will only remember the positives things from this experience on tumblr which have been many and I still can’t understand how it all happened over a little bit more than a month😭❤️

Now, anon has been blocked, because I apply my moral laws everywhere and tumblr is no different. You disturb my peace? You get cut out. And I don’t really give second chances.

In conclusion, I would like to end on a serious note. If you are dealing with stressful situations or it’s just a bad chapter of your life, I’m very good at listening, I’ve helped many people in the past. I’m always up for a chat, we don’t have to know each other, I know how important internet friends can be, some of my friends are people that I met through fandoms and even if we have never met each other we are still friends after years and years❤️

Also for battling the negativity, later I’ll do another tweet post. I know that it takes 5 positive things to forget 1 negative thing, but we are going to have to roll with 3 tweets🙃💗

[dokidoki-muffin]

Hello Lovelies!👋

I’m Dokidoki Muffin 💕🧁 and this is a casual blog for tickle art ✨✍ My art is a mix between sfw/platonic and nsfw/mature themes. (latter is tagged #dokidoki spice or labelled accordingly)

Please don’t repost my art or use it as a base or for edits!!! 🚫 I am not interested in roleplay or similar contact 🖐

Everyone is welcome! ✅ 💕 But please self-exercise viewer’s discretion! If you see something you don’t like, feel free to ignore/block me, filter the spice tag or the community labels. I am neither judging anyone for what they like, nor am I here to babysit 😉 Live and let live! 💖 Beware though: I can be trigger happy on the cursy words 😂💥💢

Asks and DMs are ok 👌💬❓ Leave me a message or inspiration if you want to 💖 But please be patient with me 😅 I'm very slow with replies 🐌😊 I’m not squeamish about any topics but I'm not interested to talk about my private life 🙏 (No roleplay, teases, etc either please 🙂) Also don't waste your time with rude messages or drama... 🔥 I will unceremoniously bin that 🙃🚮 Previous asks can be found on the page asked & answered.

Commissions ✍ (CLOSED) Info and conditions can be found here 📜 I do them very occasionally, but it depends on the scene/characters and on my current time resources (this blog is just a side thingy 😉). Please read the conditions before sending me a DM! 🙂 (Do not send commission orders or references via the ask box!!)

The old stuff ⏳ This blog has been deactivated once 😅 If you are interested in my art and fics from a few years ago, here is a Google Drive link that I lovingly call The Dokidoki Timeportal 💖🌌

The extra spicy stuff 🔥🔥🌶🌶 I currently post explicit art that I have to censor for Tumblr on my Deviantart as part of a subscription tear. (All art, sfw and nsfw, can also be downloaded in high quality there)

And a tiny bit about the Muffin behind the blog 😆 I’m an adult | She/Her | Switch | happily taken and a part-time professional artist. I also write, but very occasionally.

If you are interested in my main art accounts you can DM me. But please keep in mind that I strongly desire to keep my accounts separate!!

Yah! That’s it for now! 🥰 I hope you enjoy your time here and I wish you a wonderful day! ✨

Lots of love! 💖💖💖 Dokidoki Muffin 💕🧁

[moonjxsung]

omg everyone’s ex story have got me with my jaw DROPPED (!!!)

but lol, if y’all don’t mind i gotta trash talk my ex too bc he makes me laugh lol. SO 👏 my entire life i had mostly been interested in girls (i’m afab) but i had this guy best friend since high school that was crushing on me hardcore the entire time and i knew, but i was just never interested in guys so i just kinda looked the other way lmao. but anyway, i loved him so much and he was the only person i had ever opened up to completely. like every traumatic thing that had ever happened to me? he 100% knew about it.

so anyway, fast forward to college and we start spending a lot more time together and i was frequently stealing his bed at the dorms because my roommate wasn’t a good person and at some point i realized that i might also be having feelings for him too and i was very confused because again, i mostly liked girls and only ever made an effort with girls. but hey whatever, i tried to play it cool but one night we took shrooms together and we ended up having some VERY emotionally invested sex lmao

THEN we started dating after that and i shit you not, we only lasted a MONTH. the thing was that we had a friend in common who lived like three houses away from campus and we often visited her there and she hosted a lot of parties. one day i couldn’t reach him at all, so i contacted his roommate and he said that they were tripping together alone at her house and i was like ??? excuse me??? so i basically flew over there and they were making out on her couch

when i tell you i was LIVID. ohh i was pissed.

i then found out that out of the four weeks we dated, they’d been a thing for three 🙃

this asshole, who had been my best friend since high school, to whom i’d shared e v e r y t h i n g about me to, who’d been chasing me since the beginning and was still chasing me in college started cheating with our friend the moment he pulled me lmfao and made me look SO stupid every time we visited her at her place because ALSO EVERYONE knew except for me 🙃🙃🙃

-🪲

HUH????? HELLO?????????? DID I READ THIS CORRECTLY 😧😧😧😧 no fr what IS IT with men who are so persistent at chasing after you… AND THEN THEY FUCKING CHEAT ON YOU….. like colossal waste of everyone’s time and makes you feel so fucking stupid 😭 4 weeks is crazy and 3 weeks of those being with a whole other person is crazier 😭😭😭😭 might be a stupid question but do you guys still talk at all?? I feel like I’d have to cut him off for the rest of my life I deadass could not deal with that knowledge 🤕 I tried breaking up with my ex the first time he started playing games and he would not stop texting me in the middle of the night and calling to apologize and begging me to stay and he was so drunk when I answered so I felt bad and took him back and he literally started seeking out other girls like a week later and then cheated on me maybe 3 months after that. Fucking waste of my time scum garbage human fr I was going insane trying to piece together who he was cheating on me with and everyone called me crazy and I was right about every single thing in the end. I needed so much therapy I dyed my hair red my eating disorder got so bad I fr was never the same and I can’t bring myself to date again 😭 I’m so sorry that happened to you anon you deserve so so so much better and I hope you never get your time wasted like that again ☹️🫶 I love you and I’m always here if you need to vent !! 🩷🫶

[embraceyourdestiny]

I hate how if I talk a lot my family thinks I’m annoying, story of my life I eventually just stopped talking to them bc why do I wanna waste energy on ppl who don’t wanna listen to me but then they get annoyed that I’m closed off and it’s like 🙃 you don’t wanna hear me but don’t like when I don’t talk like WHAT fucking audhd shit my whole life I hate it

[bohemian-nights]

Maester Norren's recounts of Nettles and Daemon are hilarious because it just sounds like he's in denial 🤣🤣 "ohh no they just bathe together cause Daemon is teaching her how you know like a father figure" lmao WHAT?? Nettles is a woman grown according to GRRM world, not a helpless baby. Plus, Im guessing the maids would've helped her out, too, so why would a PRINCE waste his time teaching someone to bathe and I dont think royals were teaching their kids how to bathe cause they were bathed by servants so that makes no sense. Now I don't know about the teaching her "proper etiquette" part but my best guest is that Daemon was trying to keep Nettles around after the war and at court with him and if she acted like a "proper lady of the court" then they would keep her at the Red Keep that way Daemon could keep her close and they could still be together.

You have to wonder if the guy thought Targaryen’s get with their own kids because how Daemon acted towards Nettles was anything but fatherly 😏

No in all seriousness, homegirl can ride a dragon, but she can’t bathe herself🙃 Yeah, no. They were staying in a castle for Christ’s sake. Like they had servants to help Nettles out if she needed instructions(which she didn’t) and yep, most princes aren’t bathing their kids because again they have servants for that.

Daemon and Nettles took baths together because they wanted to 🤷🏽‍♀️It was a way for them to unwind and wipe the stress off of the day among other things😏 Plus it was a moment of the day that was just for them. Free of any obligations.

I agree that the proper etiquette was probably so that she could fit in better at court and not feel like a laughingstock. It was for Nettles' benefit and I’m sure Daemon was thinking about some kind of life for them after the war(He wasn’t going to give her up for anything).

[greyias]

lemme guess, something about ai?

Yes.

Like I get and respect that people don’t like it for various reasons. It is the technological bogeyman of the day, sometimes for extremely valid reasons, some of them less so, but that’s not really my issue here, or what I’m annoyed about. Hate “AI” all you want, your opinion doesn’t negatively impact my life one way or the other.

And like, just so I’m not vagueposting, the TL;DR situation is someone has written a script to leave troll comments on AO3 fics that they’re fic was “flagged as written by ChatGPT” (let’s put a pin in that, I’ll get back to it). I have seen at least one of my friends receive that comment a few days ago. According to this post, this has evolved into them inserting a link to paste your work to check it against some website that can check the level of AI written words vs human written words. While I haven’t personally seen that evolution, I absolutely believe that report because it follows the typical pattern of mass deployed bots both on AO3, Tumblr, Twitter, etc. They’re suggesting to not click on the link and report the comment as spam. Absolutely, you should not click on that link, and you should absolutely report that comment as the spam that it is.

Basic Internet 101: You should never click on sketchy links. Regardless of the device* you’re using. Period. It is playing with fire, for many reasons, including malware, viruses, ransomware, social engineering, identity theft, compromising your social accounts and/or financial data, and a slew of other things that have actual real world consequences

* If you are that curious to where it leads, you need to understand your devices and internet security, and set up a playground in a proper environment that you understand (ie: a virtual machine that doesn’t have any personal information and can be safely isolated from your actual network, etc). I do not understand mechanisms and potentials for failures, so I’ve never done this, as it’s a waste of resources in my opinion about 99% of the time.

No, what I’m taking issue with is them talking about “we shouldn’t click on malicious link from spam comments” because “they might be tricking you into helping train an new AI system”. Because maybe the person reading that statement hates AI and doesn’t want to train a system (and would somehow click this link otherwise). Or maybe it’s the opposite, and they don’t mind, so they would click the link then? The reasons we don’t click sketchy links on the internet isn’t because we all hate “AI” and want it to die, the reason is we don’t want to get malware installed on our machines or possibly our fucking identity stolen.

Accidentally training an AI dataset is not the same level of threat as the actual reason bad actors want you to click on sketchy links. It’s not the reason they send you social engineering e-mails. It’s not the reason they try and infect you with ransomware sometimes used to try and cripple real world infrastructure or systems (that hey, also sometimes leads to bomb threats in real life totally don’t know of this happening in real life noooope 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃). Yes, there’s a lot of ethical concerns and some potential for harm with certain arms of this technology — but your fanfic on AO3 is not on the same level as why we don’t click on sketchy links.

It’s just not.

I mean this in the nicest, kindest possible way, but someone doing this? Doesn’t care about your fanfic. I’m sorry, but no matter the scenario, they just don’t. Even if it is the most beautifully written masterpiece to grace AO3, someone who is writing and deploying a script to write spam comments, and spam comments that involve sketchy links to websites? That is someone who is already engaging in unethical behavior. It’s hitting up any story on AO3, regardless if the story itself was first handwritten on paper and then typed up, or (extremely improbable if you’ve ever even used the system) ChatGPT. So you have a few options of what clicking that link will lead to, and I’ll start with most likely, to least likely.

Most likely: you’re being redirected to a malware ridden website, designed to either capture your personal data or install something on your web browser and/or system.

Less likely, but still more than what’s said on that post: It’s some sort of social engineering scam, although without me knowing the link and going to the website, I can’t see what credentials it would be trying to trick you into passing over.

Even less likely: Someone has set up one of these “AI writing checking websites” (another thing I need to circle back to at the bottom), and is trying to drum up usership and/or are using the AO3 links to try and boost their Google SEO rating (ala the same method as Tumblr porn bots). The usership boost is less likely because they start off by insulting the writer, so if anything, if the website link is to an actual “AI writing checker” deploying a script like this would be for artificially inflating its Google ranking, at the most innocent. However, knowing what we do of people who deploy bots of that nature, then it likely originated from the Dark Web, as quite a few (but not all) of these malicious bot scripts come from. Also extremely sketchy. Circle back to the malware likelihood above.

Potential Maybe: Some very sad person who hangs out at whatever website the 4chan/8chan/etc crowd has migrated to. Has an unreasonable hatred of the typical AO3 user and wants to make them fear a comment in their inbox. Maybe set up a website to troll them to tell them every time they submit a piece of text it returns a result that they’re SUCH a bad writer they look like a chat bot. Seems like a waste of resources and time to me, but what do I know?

The absolute most least likely, because COME ON: Someone would like to train a new AI dataset, but for some reason they want this data either user submitted (again, they can easily capture this data without this step), so therefore it’s opt-in and I guess “ethically” sourced? (Although not really because the initial link you clicked to get there is deployed via a bot with a lie that you didn’t write what you wrote). But let’s roll with this, they for some reason want you to submit this text, rather than just get it on their own. Somehow they’ve buried in the TOS that everything you submit via the website is permission to use to train this AI dataset. And if anyone objects later, well, they just didn’t read the TOS. And they’re going to use it to build some new sparkly dataset, or somehow improve their AI checker. Or make some new writer bot. And it needs this user submitted, opt-in data. Except… uh… here’s the thing: with datasets like these, quality does matter some, but quantity is what builds the more sophisticated systems. So for them to capture enough of this user submitted data, they would need to get enough submitted words numbering at the very least in the millions in order to get enough needed to make this effort worth it. ChatGPT and Bing’s system use, I believe, GPT-4, which I may be misremembering this number in a largely astronomical scale, is at least 4 billion? Or possibly an insanely high number. They literally scanned the entire gd English internet to build those, so. You know.

There’s probably other scenarios I haven’t outlined above, but I don’t really believe any of them would lead to anything positive and sparkly. So no. I’m sorry, but that link is not being used to somehow trick you into submitting your fic to give up your words via some weird scheme to train a laughably bad AI dataset. Like, regardless of your feelings on “AI” (and I do use those air quotes loosely, because it’s not actually AI as we understand, but that’s another tangent and this has already gotten stupid long), it’s at best a further attempt to troll a fic writer, or at worst, something that’s going to infect your system.

So I said I would circle back to two things: ChatGPT, and these websites set up to supposedly “detect AI written text”. Right now, ChatGPT as a phrase is a marketing buzzword. The service itself went viral near the end of 2022/beginning of 2023, so everyone is talking about it. Even my technologically less-inclined colleagues at work are either starry eyed about it, or clutching pearls that somehow it’s going to steal their job (it’s not). AI is a buzzword right now, and it’s one that has a lot of emotion built up around it, both positive and negative. Some people love it, some people hate it, but everyone has an opinion, and a large majority of it is polarized. Scammers, fraudsters, and grifters like to tap into people being irrationally emotional (positive or negative) about things, because it has more potential to bypass your internal voice that makes you stop and think a little and engage in critical thinking. The message as written is intended to kick you into a panic mode, so you will go and prove it wrong. This is grifter 101. And also why it’s always a good idea to be very aware of your hot button issues, and the ways they can be potentially used against you. And why when you get extremely emotional about something online (especially something that makes you scared or angry), you should take a step back before engaging without thinking critically about it.

And finally, these websites that supposedly detect if any given set of text is actually generated by AI. In short: they all suck, and none of the ones I’ve seen actually tested work on any degree where they can be deployed to generate an accurate result. Including the one set up by OpenAI, the company who runs ChatGPT. Several people have run several tests with both generated text and genuinely written human text, and way more than half the time the generated text comes up as written by a human. And then human written text will sometimes gets flagged as generated content. Right now, all they amount to is basically a random number generator. Because either these engines have to be programmed by a human person who has to know what patterns to look for, or be written or augmented by these neural networks (aka what every single thing marketed as “AI” really are, because it has nothing to do with what we understand as intelligence, artificial or otherwise, it’s a type of programming not a being or Skynet or anything other than 1s and 0s that look for and recognize patterns). And either way, they have to know what is positive and negative. If you alter text in anyway, (ironically, by using a rephrasing service also built off neural net/this same technology), it can throw of the system. OpenAI even flirted with the possibility of trying to embed some sort of text watermark in their generations to be able to track it. But again, the moment you rephrase it, that gets broken. So, it’s useless at actually catching anyone doing this a large portion of the time, and not sophisticated enough to deployed at a large scale without causing harm.

But yeah. To circle back to my point. I wanted to reblog the original post in question, because I want to let people know about the potential for people getting these comments and knowing to report them as spam, but also being aware to not click on the links. Sure, I could have reblogged the version with them acting like the bad part was training an AI dataset, and put the ACTUAL reasons we don’t do that in the tags. But sometimes I just get annoyed and stubborn about stupid things (in this case, me reblogging something I don’t find accurate). I think most of us already knew at least the basic strokes of a lot of the above, so I’m probably preaching to the choir.

But seriously, if you want to criticize the technology, please, do so. It is currently a black box filled with potential for both good and harm. But at least do your research to understand why a thing is bad, that way it’s an informed discussion that educates people about the actual harms being perpetrated and how they can be mitigated. Instead of just like, making shit up. Because the more myths and misinformation you create about something (even innocently), the more it can be used against you later in ways that are actively malicious. Because I can guarantee you, some bad actor will eventually recognize how unreasonably angry this subject makes people, and they will find a way to turn that anger against you. Education is your best defense.

[floraleevee]

Should learn whether or not I got the vet tech position this week, so if ya see a bunch of personal posts about feeling like I’m underachieving and wasting my life and wondering what the fuck I’m doing then you know why!!! ✌️🙃👍