#what use are identification and terms if not to help people anyway

[arrows-and-ace-thetics]

Reminder that even if your asexuality or aromantism could have a "different source", if these terms help you feel safe and advercate you needs you can still use them!

Maybe you are a "late bloomer" or "too young to know" but maybe the identity means you can explain yourself better, you can find others who feel the same, you can take things at your own pace. That's OK.

Maybe you're on medication, maybe you have some sort of neurodivergence that is affecting things. If these terms help explain your emotions or how you are "lacking" a certain thing, that's OK.

Maybe you're trans and you're not sure how your dysphoria effects it. Identities and feelings are confusing. That's OK.

Cause for every person who realises the terms no longer fit, there's someone who wishes they used the terms earlier. If you have shared experience, if the terms help you define yourself and protect yourself or hell just give a small sense of belonging that's OK.

You're welcome here

[maniculum]

Bestiaryposting Results: Lumchagg

Another one that's immediately recognizable if you spot its most-known characteristic, but I had to keep this one in because I thought it was entertaining that the author was clearly working from two different sources and, rather than try and reconcile the two, apparently just copied two slightly-different accounts and left them like that.

If you're not sure what I'm talking about, you can find an explanation and previous posts at https://maniculum.tumblr.com/bestiaryposting. The entry that people are working from this time can be found here:

And here's the one that folks will be drawing this week, if you want to get in on it:

Anyway, art below the cut:

@silverhart-makes-art (link to post here) noted the apparent existence of a larval stage in the second half of the entry, and drew a creature that's part Australian firehawk and part moth. I think this design is extremely cool, and does a good job extrapolating from the ideas of a bird that makes its own funeral pyre and apparently starts life as a larva.

@sweetlyfez (link to post here) went kind of a flamingo direction with this one, noting that a purple bird might acquire that coloration from its diet the same way flamingos do, which is cool. I also like the idea that its pyre/container is a silver censer, which is oddly accurate to medieval depictions -- I've definitely seen a couple of medieval images of this bird where its "nest" looks a lot like a fancy bowl. (Also thank you for including alt text.)

@kaerran (link to post here) makes note of a bit of a camera quality issue, but has what I think is a really clever idea. They've chosen to make their Lumchagg quite small, so that their "container" could in fact be the contents of a spice rack. A convenient solution for the modern Lumchagg with a high tolerance for plastic fumes. (Also thank you for including alt text.)

@ectocs (link to post here) has plotted out the lifecycle of a bird-thing that genuinely looks more like a dinosaur than anything, which I like a lot. That is a cool-looking bird. I also like the facial expressions a lot -- maybe it's just my imagination, but that blobby little worm stage seems quite pleased with itself. I strongly recommend clicking on the linked post to see a number of additional doodles and notes from the design process, which are very interesting in my opinion.

@cheapsweets (link to post here) has done this drawing in a nice dark purple ink, which is both pleasant and appropriate. The bird looks very cool, and I find the worm quite charming. I also appreciate the detail put into the pyre/nest/whatever here. It's good. I like it.

@pomrania (link to post here) notes that the medieval definition of "bird" is quite flexible, and of course worm and wyrm were more or less interchangeable... so this is a dragon. Entirely fair, I can't argue with that. It's pretty cute, too.

@coolest-capybara (link to post here) also gives us a life-cycle drawing, complete with a pupa, which I think is a nice and appropriate touch. They note the ambiguity of the term purple in pre-modern sources, so their Lumchagg has a more general colorful & iridescent look. I really like the parrot-worm-thing in the middle of the tree there.

To the Aberdeen Bestiary:

Yep, that's a bird. Presumably the trees are meant to represent frankincense and myrrh, both of which I believe are made from tree resin. Very good Stylized Trees, naturally. The bird, which kind of just looks like a hawk, also seems to be resting on an invisible perch, presumably because the artist wasn't sure what to do with the legs of a bird in flight.

There's also a second illustration:

That absolutely does not help identification, but I think a majority of participants clocked that this is the phoenix.

A few people noted that they hadn't known that phoenices (phoenixes? you know what, it doesn't matter, there's only one of them at a time anyway) were supposed to be purple. Others commented on the odd note about Arabia and the color purple, speculating as to what purple pigment was being referred to. I am excited to tell you that these two things are linked: the famous Tyrian Purple dye was originally used by... [drum roll]... the Phoenicians.

I actually had to delete a word from the entry before posting, because the original reads:

The phoenix is a bird of Arabia, so called either because its colouring is Phoenician purple, or because there is only one of its kind in the whole world.

The other part of the etymological explanation there is later explained by the assertion (the basis of which I do not know) :

The Arabs call a solitary man phoenix.

Also to be clear, there's not exactly a broad pre-modern consensus about phoenix coloration. Everyone seems to agree that it's brightly colored, but what colors vary widely. (However, it should be noted that "red" and "purple" are both popular options, and moreover that those colors are not always differentiated in older texts.)

It's tempting to say that the frankincense & myrrh is here probably just acting as a Christian resurrection metaphor because the authors are monks, but it is in fact the case that multiple medieval descriptions of the phoenix have it making use of valuable plants, including those. In the Old English Wonders of the East, it builds its nest from cinnamon. Herodotus (who says the phoenix is red and gold) mentions the phoenix using myrrh, but not as a nest or funeral pyre -- each new phoenix embalms the body of the previous phoenix in myrrh to be interred at the Temple of the Sun. Pliny (purple and gold, with a blue tail) has the nest made from cinnamon, incense, and perfumes, and when the little worm grows large enough it carries the nest, along with the remains of its predecessor, to said temple. Neither Herodotus nor Pliny mention the fire thing, interestingly, so I suspect it might have come in later. The Wonders of the East does mention the fire, but it has no opinion on the coloration.

I can feel myself falling into a rabbit hole, so I'm just going to cut this one off here.

[yammoba]

It's like yeah, ultimatly who gives an actual shit about the specific name for something. I feel this way about identifing peoples identities and also when it comes to the words we chose to describe systems of oppression. Ultimately the importance lies in being able to communicate. And if a singular word doesn't apply, that just use a sentence. Thats probably what you'll have to do anyways 🙃 or multiple paragraphs that still end up meaning nothing.

Im just annoyed at the people who seem hellbent on subdividing transphobia experienced into the categories of "transmysoginy exempt" and "transmysoginy applicable" as some kind of universal truth depending on your agab and perceived transition "direction"? While also denying the legitimacy of transmasc specific transphobia. Like. They seem kinda contradictory.

Like, if transmasc are exempt from transmysoginy, (which could be debatable depending of the circumstance and deffinitions at play) than its extra fucking shitty to claim terms we use to describe "transmasc specific opression"* are like.... inherently misogynist or something i dont even know.

If you want to claim that the shit transmascs deal with is non-specific transphobia while specifying transmysoginy as something that blanketly does not apply to anyone except transfems than uhhh............. i do have some unfortunate information for you about the medical industry and how it treats transmascs. And how a lot of people veiw trans people as "just their assigned gender" even if they claim or act in support.

*if you wanna claim transmasc specific opression doesn't exist its a shit fuck rabbit hole and all i really want to say is like. obviously. It does. Fucking of course. Are you fucking stupid? This is why i hate all this to begin with. The "source" of that opression weather its out of a mysogonistic beliefe that ""womenhood"" must be protected or out of a belife that "men" are threatening etc is kinda down to the situation, and like most of trasnphobia, its a combo of both, in what ever ratio allows the most pain. The practical reality is that people get treated like shit by doctors and politicians. And like. Everyone.

I'm gennerally of the opinion that more terms is better, and if people feel like using tme/tma is helpful to decribe themself than cool. But like also... if you're working in that framwork than maybe think about why other people might make terms to describe their experiences. I guess I should too.

[illnessfaker]

Your recent couple reblogs has me wondering something, that maybe you have more perspective on given your own experiences with gender.

Often times I’ll hear bigender, genderfluid, and various flavors of nonbinary people talk as if they are (in a political sense) both man and woman (also sometimes TME and TMA using the same logic)

I get it in terms of self-identification, but in terms of how society treats us, I’m skeptical that the current oppressively gendered system has room for that kind of nuance.

I think it’s just because I’m a trans woman and at the end of the day I get treated as a fag regardless if people see me as a man or woman, so I don’t get the option anyway lol

But I also kinda feel like I’m just rehashing “there are only 2 genders!!” but from a leftist angle, which also sucks

i mean this is like a really tough question that i don't think there's a good answer to because there's not really any difference btwn "being a man/woman" vs. "being a man/woman politically" and by that i mean when you ask what "being a man/woman" means the only good answer to that question i can come up with is "they're labels that indicates one's relationship to patriarchy" but even that answer isn't especially helpful in this situation because 1. that's basically the function of gender identity labels is to describe one's relationship to gender and indicate how they navigate the system whether they're "binary" or not and 2. there is no litmus test for who "counts" as a man or a woman because if you go around and ask people why they identify this way you'll get a hundred different answers even if the people you ask label themselves in the same way because gender identity at the end of the day not only has to do w/ the gendered messaging you are subject to from society (which includes violence) and then how you personally rationalize and respond to it.

the thing is that there are many different avenues of being gendered so i'd say that yeah, someone can be both a man and a woman if they believe their experiences align w/ that, but the reasons for why someone believes that, like i said, are going to widely vary. someone might be legally considered female but be gendered as male in a bunch of other contexts and they might factor that experience in to their gender identity. someone might be legally considered male but be gendered as female or subject to misogyny in a bunch of other contexts and they might factor that experience in to their gender identity. but it's not as if legally being male = you can wield that simple fact to enact gendered violence (which plenty of transfem and other camab trans ppl are aware of, i'm sure) and access the gendered privileges that one might associate with maleness, and it's not as if legally being female = one is entirely excluded from enacting gendered violence or accessing gendered privileges. it's messy. those are two very simplistic examples that include the word "might" because a the end of the day, there aren't any rules that determine who is "actually" what because the series of "tests" that society subjects us to in order to determine that are incoherent, since gender has no essence to it. it's not nuance, its nonsense.

transmisogynists insist that genitalia or assigned sex determines how you're gendered but a cashier once told me that he thought i was a man because i was wearing flannel. the only assumption i can make as to why other people read me as having been camab (i say that because people often either insist i'm a man or they've told me they thought i was transfem at first) is because i have some physical features that society labels as "male" and some of my autism/ADHD traits are ones that society also labels as "male" (e.g. lack of volume control making me very loud.) those are also very simple examples because ofc much more goes into gendered violence than just how random people w/o institutional power perceive you, but the point is that gender's rules are pretty nonsensical based on how people actually apply them. i have a social experience that one could arguably call "both male and female" but that doesn't feel like at all an accurate assessment of what it's like for me whatsoever (enough that it feels like misgendering) - and i certainly don't see myself as "tma." that being said, i think i'm one of those people who can't be neatly sorted into "socially located as female" vs. "socially located as male." i think i'm socially located as a (tme) marginalized gender subject, but that kind of subjective experience isn't the norm.

that doesn't mean there aren't experiences that are typical of womanhood or experiences that are typical of manhood. if there weren't then the whole framework of patriarchy and misogyny wouldn't hold up very well. but the "typical" part is kinda key because acting as if there is some singular, concrete thing that distinguishes the "male experience" from the "female experience" is conceding the point that men and women are essentially different, which is something that reinforces patriarchy rather than deconstructing it, and "men oppress women" is not a singular, concrete thing to me in this instance because the ways in which that tangibly occurs are incredibly varied and complex, with a myriad of factors always being involved, which is a fact that people like MRAs and transmisogynists will try to exploit for the sake of their (trans)misogynistic views.

so it's like, at the end of the day, yeah - binaries are bullshit, but also we need what some might call vague generalizing/binaristic language for the sake of discussing literally anything at all in a way that is comprehensible. the frameworks/concepts of patriarchy and (trans)misogyny don't suddenly fall apart if we acknowledge the ~nuance~ of how gender works and is affected by different factors because the whole point is that these things are deeply embedded, broader sociocultural trends, not that they're absolute rules with zero exceptions in what some discussion about them might sometimes imply. (trans) men being subjected to violence that is defined by or wrapped up in (trans)misogyny or (trans) women circumstantially also wielding (trans)misogyny against other (trans)women doesn't mean that (trans)misogyny shouldn't be about (trans) women.

the issue here, i think, doesn't have to do w/ how someone identifies (that dog won't hunt) so much as how they actually grapple with that complexity and how they use it to relate to others. to use an example from that one post i rb'd earlier, someone labeling themselves as a "transfemmasc gaybilesbian" and then talking about how oppressive and evil and binaristic both assigned sex labels and the label "tme" is, is - in practice - someone who is against any concise language happening irt discussion of transmisogyny, and - in addition - any concise language that would denote whether they're someone who is capable of enacting gendered violence against trans women in the way only non-trans women can. and then it gets 10x worse when you see that same person reblogging posts about how transmisandry real and trans womanhood is not a gender category that sits beneath trans manhood on a hierarchical scale.

if trans women can't use "transfem" to talk about transmisogyny, can't use "camab/cafab," and can't use "tme/tma," then they can't use anything. this usually happens in the case of trans other trans people who are, in fact, tme, and them being tme is part of what enables them to be able to do this in the first place, because it is apparent to anyone who pays attention that trans women and other camab trans people are typically not afforded the same room to treat gender identity like a playground in the way that tme trans people are, when looking at things from the perspective of transmisogyny.

like, at that point, i can only assume you believe yourself to be incapable of gendered violence in any meaningful sense/are dodging any sense of accountability, and are using the obfuscation of difference and meaning of terms to your advantage as someone who does in fact possess privilege in terms of gender, lol. everyone does to some extent when you include factors that significantly affect one's relationship to the gender binary such as race, disability, etc.

[achilleanfemme]

What is an Achillean Femme?

I am a queer person, I have been for as long as I can remember. As a young boychild, I was very feminine. I loved pretending to be Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz (very on-the-nose) and lip-syncing to Britney Spears songs with my sister. As an adolescent, I came to describe myself as gay, and through YouTube and Tumblr, came to better understand my gayness. Around 18, I began identifying as non-binary. Now at age 26, I have coined (as far as I can tell) a new term for my queerness that descibes both my sexuality and my gender identity: achillean femme.

The LGBTQIA+ wiki page for achillean says that “achillean refers to a man or man-aligned individual who is attracted to other men and man-aligned people''. The same wiki’s page on the term femme says that “femme.. often refers to a person of queer gender expression [or identity] that embraces, reclaims, or subverts their culture's understanding of what it means to be feminine.” I think that the term is pretty self-explanatory once you understand the terms that comprise it. An achillean femme is an achillean person, meaning a man or someone who identifies within the realm of manhood, who is a femme or describes themselves as feminine. 

I love the term achillean because it makes sense to folks who have been apart of the gay male or man-loving-man community and spaces for any amount of time. Achilleans who are 60, 70, 80 years old know “gay men” who are feminine and flamboyant who barely align with any societal definition of manhood yet are lumped in as gay men. They also known bisexual men in the community who have called themselves gay for decades, eventhough they’ve always been attracted to, and been with, folks of other genders. Millenial and Gen Z achilleans are more and more describing themselves as non-binary and not aligning themselves with the terms “gay man” or “gay male” because they do not see themselves as cisgender men, even as they still identify within the realm of gay manhood. I believe that many of these folks would feel much more comfortable using a term like achillean that allows them linguistic space within the MLM community without confining them to strict identification as monosexual and/or cisgender men.

The term femme has taken me longer to come around to using. I love the term femme, but trans-exclusionary discourse in online feminist spaces for a long time gatekept me out of using the term to describe myself. I feared that cis lesbians and cis sapphic women would dogpile on me online and try and dox me for being a person assigned male at birth who describes themselves as a femme. It has lesbians and sapphics on twitter and tumblr, many of whom are non-binary and trans themselves, who helped me overcome this fear and embrace my femmeness. No two femmes are the same, there are as many experiences of femininity as there are feminine people, but what unites us is a common understanding of our devaluation under patriarchy and the experience of empowerment that we feel when we live authentically into our feminine inner-light. My femmeness is energetic, funny, and contagious. When I am being my femme, fairy self, people enjoy being around me. Living out my authentic feminine soul, allows others to do the same. That makes me happy.

So who are achillean femmes? Achillean femmes are fat non-binary bearded ladies like myself. Achillean femmes are magical fairy gays who strut into a gay club in a jock strap, butterfly wings, platform heals, and a tiara. Achillean femmes are drag queens of many stripes. Achillean femmes are the queeny old gays at brunch in a kaftan, sharing gossip, drinking mimosas. Achillean femmes are the trans fags who are often excluded from predominantly cis gay male settings and continue to fuck with gender anyways. Achillean femmes are anyone and everyone who feels at home in a gay club and a tea party. Achillean femmes are cis men, trans men, non-binary AMAB and AFAB people, intersex folks, and genderqueers. If you love your femininity, however you define it, and you love guys, dudes, bros, lumberjacks, bears, muscle daddies, hunks, and twinks then you are probably an achillean femme. If you are none of these things but the term feels right to you then join me, let’s be fags together! Let’s be achillean femmes!

----------------------

Flag Design: Flag uses the achillean flag design (created by Trumblr user pridenpositivity in 2016) as a base and then pulls colors from the femme flag design (created in 2017 and posted by the noodle tumblr blog). The final design is mine and was created and posted by tumblr user achilleanfemme on December 12, 2022.

[venuskind]

On my path towards self mastery almost all of the pivotal, disruptive, and hard moments were to be faced on my own. Which does not mean that I ever was without loving connections ready and capable of holding space or being with me. No, it was an internal knowing that made it clear to me that to meet this moment in the way befitting it necessitated me to stand alone. 

Standing alone in the face of a challenge or adversarial energy necessitates me to let go of the conditioned ideas of weakness, not-enoughness, and the fear at their core. It either calls on me to trust my knowing or past experiences more than the quivering voices or the embedded sensations in this body. 

These are moments I have to live from vision, or spirit, to help the physical and emotional transcend the artifice of limitation they have been bound to. 

Every moment of courage, of feeling fears and resistances and 'doing it anyway', are moments that help unlearn more fundamental distortions held in the mind-body system that consistently belie reality in favor of cultural narratives and fears. This is why I speak of liberation. We need liberation from these ties that would bind us to endless repetitions of human history and suffering.

When I use the term 'self mastery' I envision a learning and knowing of the small egoic and identified self as well as a gentle but firm re-education at the hands of the Self that is beyond duality, time, and space. All beings experience varying levels of self mastery depending on their experiences and the trajectory of their Soul path. Not all of us are willing to keep moving towards suffering, face the truths behind our wounds, and embrace a greater reality and consciousness beyond the limited niche of human making.

This path will inevitably ask us to not only endure but also precipitate willingly losses upon losses of  people, places, beliefs, memories, behaviors, habits, though-patterns. It necessitates us to make the ultimate sacrifice, to the ego, by letting go of our identification with our personality, personal stories, body, and other ideas about self. Which goes way further than a mere ego-death, which denotes a letting go of selfishness or self-centered perception. 

Releasing all identifications comes with the understanding of the illusions this world we perceive, and lives we live, are woven from and of touching on the true nature of our being. 

Beingness that is found at the core of our experience and perceptions is genderless, formless, unlimited in its expressions, and not bound by time and space. It is not caught up in the dramas of maya with their relentless repetition of pain, suffering, harm, or seeking of pleasure to escape them. 

Beingness is observant yet not judging. For what is there to be judged when all is of the One? It reposes in a loving equanimity as the play of consciousness in duality, form, and forgetting unfolds within it.

The lives and identities we believe to have crafted, the attributes we claim or reject, they all are mere shadows dancing within the grand movements of consciousness. 

Consciousness keeps creating and destroying along its path of evolutions and self exploration as Beingness witnesses it all.

From time to time I need to remind my human to release her grip on identifications in order to dance with more ease and grace along the play of consciousness. It is like reminding the actor to follow the lead of the director and not get lost in self importance and thereby miss out on being part of a great play. 

To have the knowing and tools to move between human perception and Beingness, to learn to use the

greater picture view of Beingness in service of a more harmonious resonance with the frequencies playing out all around is a hard earned gift of this path. A gift only few will appreciate or understand as to many others any actions or non-actions arising from this knowing look weird or crazy.

Yet looking at life from a vantage point that suffuses human perceptions with greater perspectives of consciousness and Beingness allows for a perception of life which reveals a 'hidden' humor and playfulness in the unfolding of existence. Allowing me to look at what seems hard or impossible, from a strictly human perspective, as a fun challenge to be tinkered with and mastered. 

There is unspeakable power and freedom in understanding that nothing can be lost nor gained, not in death nor in incredible wealth or success. 

This knowing liberates me to explore possibilities in more subtle and novel ways, to choose play in 'serious' moments and thereby align and dance with the slip-stream of consciousness that is manifesting what we call life experience. 

This is what this cluster of consciousness is here for: to play, explore, create, deconstruct, rebuild, dance, and most of all BE with all of existence. I am not here to play it small and along old scripts, I have come to question and rewrite what is mine to change, I have come to render all scripts obsolete as I walk a new path in the void, leaving stardust in my steps for others to be inspired or intrigued by.

In every moment I repose in BEing and open to what is witnessed I am speechless at the infinite ways life is being lived in what only seems to be a consensus reality. How thin the veneer of consensus is, how magnificently diverse and wondrous the perceptions and storylines chosen are. How little it would take to release suffering and live a freer and more magical life. And how vehemently identities, identifications, and fears are fighting any attempt at liberation. 

How beloved the jailors are to the prisoners while the liberators seem silly, dangerous, or any other form of objectionable. 

To see with clarity the game at play tempts the human in me to intervene whenever there are threads of attachment in need of releasing. To see it also awakens a desire to share the wonderment and contemplation of it all with others. To express the mix of awe and compassion that arise in observing humans navigate life in their individually chosen way. Being in wonderment of the multidimensional shimmer of existence.

And it challenges the human to release the desire to change what is witnessed, to accept reality as it is, to honor the choices of others even and especially when they are self-destructive and persistent, to trust the higher wisdom at play in the long game of consciousness evolution. It takes constant reminders of the fact that we are engaging with Maya and her illusions, while absolute reality knows no loss, harm, or pain as all is One and in fluid harmony. Reminders to step back, check herself, and to free herself from identification with dualistic perceptions and to be mindful of the 'costs' of such entrapment.

But most deliciously Beingness gives the body-mind extended experiences of peace, equanimity, and bliss which gently wash away attachments to distorted perceptions and fears. Which in turn makes the challenging and hard things far easier and deepens trust in Self, the dimensional gateway to Beingness and Oneness.

Art by Nat Girsberger

[basilepesso]

Third English text narrating the nightmare that my wife and collaborator Anne Pangolin Guéno (The Soft Pangolin) has put me in since the lockdowns - and Anne, again, this is NOT against you - and you know it and react well - I’m telling it anyway by security. First part here Second there About ten logical points in French showing that I have been telling, and am telling the truth Police evidence of Anne’s disappearance (September 2 021, a few days after her disappearance)

In January 2 022, under the threats of my landlord, heavy stress caused by Anne’s disappearance, my discovery of the satanist adultery, and maybe corona that facilitates this, I had a brain stroke with blocking of an arm and vision for 15 hours approx. In March occurred what I described in the two previous English texts. I hadn’t a “NIE” (Identification Number for Foreigners), we used to function on only one, and it was Anne’s. I hadn’t a Spanish bank account, Anne having elegantly closed our shared account which was at her name, just because I used to delegate her all the administrative stuff. This card was literally unable to get in spite of all my efforts. Therefore, couldn’t I earn money legally, and my usual activities are not sure in terms of financial gain. As all our shared exhibitions, books and other partnerships with Anne were waiting or had been cancelled, the situation was totally critical. In October 2 021, I gathered ten high level visual artists among which myself for Yes We Are Gallery. A friend or supposed to be so helped me by creating the website but couldn’t finish it.

I was doing a few polls but either they were cheat or didn’t bring anything financially, or almost. I sold a few pictures, but not sufficient.

One of our partners, a shop/gallery took some of my images but no sales.

I tried to sell pictures on the street : no sales. I was trying to get translations as I’m a translator in many languages : nothing.

I went to many teaching places to give various classes and workshops (some places could make an arrangement for the identity card problem) and sent many proposals : I was put on waiting list or told that they didn’t need my services, and I didn’t have the time to be on waiting lists.

I found two collaborations with an architect/friend. I brought her two big decoration/architectural projects from people I had met, and it could bring a lot of money. But when I explained more in detail what was happening with Anne’s blogs under fake identities to one of the persons, he told me I was crazy, and stopped the proposal...the other one was actually too far away in Latin America and too hard to implement for my friend. After many researches and encounters, I found two new design shops and/or galleries who were waiting for Anne. An extremely generous friend sent me a diamond to sell. It could bring us a lot of money and I went to about 20 shops to try to sell it, but the price was not sufficient and I was waiting for way more. I started a novel in collaboration (it would publish the novel bit by bit on their website) with an organ called The Homeless Entrepreneur but the proposed money was not sufficient, and with what happened after we couldn’t start the collaboration. I tried to sell a bag that we had created with Anne (she had almost made everything) and had found two shops. We could start soon but I panicked because of one more landlord threat. Repeated panic attacks, and sudden fall in depression. Some friends helped me to pack a few things, especially our artist works and my computer, and we went to let me in a house in France where I was invited.

This invitation has actually been a nightmare and I was put on the street in one week.

By miracle, I found a shelter. In two weeks, they put me on the street after a manipulation. I went to a camping with the little money I had left. I’ll tell after what happened then... BP. P.S : and, AS USUAL, NO ONE (well, here, one brave person) reacts, except by the usual emotional and sordid unfollowings...)

P.S 2 : as already said, YWAMag Gallery is not something I can take care of for the moment, and what’s more, its webmaster has stopped speaking to me after the hospital abuse against me - and I need to be in contact with him if I decide to start the gallery, as there are still technical details for which I’d need his help.

[arrows-and-ace-thetics]

Reminder that even if your asexuality or aromantism could have a "different source", if these terms help you feel safe and advercate you needs you can still use them!

Maybe you are a "late bloomer" or "too young to know" but maybe the identity means you can explain yourself better, you can find others who feel the same, you can take things at your own pace. That's OK.

Maybe you're on medication, maybe you have some sort of neurodivergence that is affecting things. If these terms help explain your emotions or how you are "lacking" a certain thing, that's OK.

Maybe you're trans and you're not sure how your dysphoria effects it. Identities and feelings are confusing. That's OK.

Cause for every person who realises the terms no longer fit, there's someone who wishes they used the terms earlier. If you have shared experience, if the terms help you define yourself and protect yourself or hell just give a small sense of belonging that's OK.

You're welcome here

[antiyourwokehomophobia2]

LOL that one ask… they get so confused because we talk about 2 things — 1. why identification doesn’t make a woman (because the only meaningful and not-sexist definition is adult female human), and 2. how it comes to pass that trans women don’t actually have that much in common with us in terms of experience, even for those who truly pass. At most they get the experience of being seen as a woman, once they pass, by people who don’t know they’re trans. Otherwise are seen and treated as gnc men, which can get better treatment (men get deference) and worse (gnc men can be attacked). What they never experienced is actually being female. And that matters, even if we decided to help with the lie that they are women, we would run up against that and need to admit it. Their doctors need to admit it to treat them. We need to know it to even know who is trans.

Anyway people like that asker, assuming that is talking about sex based oppression is the same as us claiming that oppression is what makes us women…. Just thinking all the wrong way around.

[8-evil-annoying-catboys]

idk i can like understand being defensive of your lived experience but that post (with like less than 500 notes iirc so maybe most of my followers haven’t seen it) going on a rant about afab trans women felt incredibly mean-spirited and close-minded to me.

there are intersex trans women who were afab and who look very much like any average perisex trans woman does in terms of secondary sex characteristics because of their intersex condition. do they deserve to be spoken to like that? there are bigender people who are only able to reckon with identifying as same gender as cis people who were the same coercively assigned sex at birth as us by recontextualising their gender as being equally trans on both sides, and who actively recognise that our experience of that gender is inherently different from binary trans people of that gender specifically because we don’t want to speak over them, and many of us also look undeniably trans regardless of what gender we are being perceived as because of HRT or surgery, or again, in some cases, an intersex condition. do we deserve to be spoken to like that?

if an individual who self-identifies as a trans woman and was afab is speaking over trans women who were amab, making false equivalencies between their experiences, or claiming they know more about being a trans woman than trans women who were amab, then that should definitely be addressed, but the majority of trans people i’ve seen whose gender aligns in some way with the sex they were coercively assigned at birth, who still self-identify as trans, trip over themselves to justify it every time they bring it up, and hammer in the point that they don’t intend to speak over or falsely equate their experiences to those of the trans people who people usually think of when you say “trans woman” or “trans man” (BECAUSE YES. AMAB TRANS MEN EXIST TOO. BTW). when i talk about my experience (rarely), and whenever i see a trans person talk about this kind of experience (also rarely), it has ALWAYS been followed by “i understand that my experience is different from most other trans [women/men] and i do not intend to speak for the majority or speak over them when i talk about my experiences, i identify this way because i’m [intersex/bigender/multigender/more than one of the above] and this is the only way i can properly make sense of my experience.” and the existence of both trans women who were afab and trans men who were amab, regardless of their reasoning for that identification or their behavior towards other trans people, will not change cis people’s perception of trans people as a whole, not significantly anyway. there just aren’t that many trans people who fit into either of those categories for that to be true. sometimes you have to give people the benefit of the doubt, even if you have a good reason to see the phrase “afab trans woman” or “amab trans man” and get your hackles up.

also… i did notice the fact that that post specifically was only about afab trans women, even though amab trans men also exist and there is probably a similar proportion of them who act in a way that is harmful to or speaks over trans men who were afab, as the proportion of afab trans women who act in a way that is harmful to or speaks over trans women who were amab. i can’t help but wonder if OP of that post simply thinks amab trans men don’t exist, or that there’s some inherent quality about being a trans woman that can be appropriated, but no quality about being a trans man that can be appropriated, and therefore afab trans women are inherently a problem while amab trans men are not inherently a problem or even are never a problem. i’m sure i’ll never know, but i wonder.

anyway. afab trans women and amab trans men, i love us. we are entitled to self-identify the way we do in good faith, and i believe that most of us are doing so in good faith. i know i am, at least, and i would always rather give the benefit of the doubt to someone and later find out they don’t deserve it, rather than to lash out immediately at someone only to find out they have a good reason for acting or identifying the way they do.

and i want everyone who ISN’T an afab trans woman or amab trans man and is reading this to know that i agonised over whether or not to include myself and my experiences in this post, but i need to be authentic even when it’s scary. i am part of the demographic i described wherein i’m bigender, and the only way i was able to come to terms with being a woman was by, first of all going on testosterone and getting top surgery, and then recognising that i am a woman and i am also inherently different from cis women—i have much more in common with the average trans woman than the average cis woman. not to mention the fact that thanks to the way i dress and act and look, i am most commonly read as a trans woman, and have experienced transmisogyny from multiple angles in my actual ass real life. i haven’t tried saying “actually i have a pussy” because that is incredibly dehumanising, and even if i did, do you think anyone would believe that coming from a girl with a deep voice, square jaw, patchy facial hair, and even an adams apple if you look closely enough? yeah, i don’t think so either.

i am lucky to have been spared from experiencing physical violence as a result, but every day i am more scared of the very real possibility of that happening to me. so let me say: please think before you speak. the experience of amab trans women is inherently different from mine, but most of that, in my case, is related to what gives us gender euphoria and dysphoria, and like, my literal genitals. i would’ve never been comfortable identifying as a woman if i’d never gone on T, even if i had survived high school, which i doubt would’ve happened in that scenario too but that’s besides the point. amab trans women usually define their experiences by the ways in which they transition away from maleness or manhood/boyhood and into womanhood, but my experience is defined by how i transitioned away from femaleness and into a comfortable form of femininity, and through that comfortable form of femininity, i found a way to settle into womanhood that was comfortable for me, without leaving my hard-earned manhood behind. i am not alone in this, and i know that because the only reason i discovered that i was allowed to identify this way was by reading about the experiences of two fellow bigender trans people, one who is openly intersex and the other who is not openly intersex but also has not claimed to be perisex as far as i know. i am not intersex, but i implore you to consider intersex, and also genderqueer/multigender perspectives before making posts generalising entire groups of trans people whose identities don’t make sense to you. it’s very likely that if someone describes their gender in a way that you think is contradictory, the reason they describe themselves that way is because they are intersex or multigender. we are allowed to take up space in the trans community, and you should not talk over us any more than we should talk over you (which is not at all… obviously.)

[antedelaureans]

I’m honestly just so glad there’s even a term for,

“There seems to be a problem with identifying (and subsequently treating) a human being’s mental anguish the same way small children attempt to identify a grown-up’s job by the color of their uniform, what ‘tool’ they’re carrying, and wherever the adult is when the child sees them. This is like, complicated and a more nuanced approach is warranted. Probably.”

An Example!

1. Timmy knows that all firefighters:

wear ‘red’ uniforms (in public perception and kids shows, anyway) with a helmet/mask

carry hoses, axes, ladders (and people, if needed)

commonly spotted near fires and similar “disasters”, usually while people are screaming and calling for help

2. Imagine Timmy sees a guy—what’s his job? He is:

wearing all red (blood-stained) clothing and some kind of mask

wielding an axe and carrying an woman over his shoulder

spotted running away from a large fire, while the carried woman screams and calls for help

3. According to Timmy, that guy is a firefighter and he is saving that woman (who called for his help).

4. According to the Me, using a combination of context clues and noting the problematic diagnostic identification criteria, that guy is NOT a firefighter and that woman still needs help. Probably.

[crippleprophet]

hey, my mom has been talking a lot lately about me being a "Highly Sensitive Person" (i show behaviours that align pretty solidly with autistic/adhd/sensory processing disorder stuff), and im just wondering what you think about something like that. is this legit? or is this another pseudoscience term thats made to undermine/de legitimize autistic people (or something else entirely)?? anyway i always appreciate ur opinions on stuff so i wanted to see what u think about it. thank u! ^^

aw thank you sm! i’ve personally gone down the “highly sensitive person -> vague sensory processing issues -> adhd -> adhd and autistic” identification journey and like, i’m by no means an expert here, but for me it comes down to the motivation.

somebody using hsp because they simply vibe with it more, it’s an easier and less stigmatized shorthand to communicate their access needs and the way they move through the world, etc? cool, i respect it, do what you want. someone using hsp because they want to distance themself from those gross autistic people? yeah fuck you.

this is possibly a controversial example lol but i’m totally chill with someone using a term like heteroflexible to describe their sexuality if they find it easier to communicate their dating pool, etc, or they just like it better! to me that’s different from being like “bi people are weird/gross/don’t exist/i don’t count” - unless it’s culturally appropriative of a group you aren’t a part of, using certain language doesn’t preclude you from having liberatory politics or participating in community.

like, if your language is based in what’s gonna help you navigate ableist (and cisheteronormative, etc) society, that’s different than necessarily pitting yourself against autistic & neurodivergent liberation, and while i do think the origins of hsp popularity are (as far as i can tell) from a well-meaning but misguided attempt to describe one’s own experiences in the world without considering that descriptions of those experiences already existed, that doesn’t mean someone can’t ID as hsp and be doing the work for autistic & neurodivergent justice.

i’d rather have a heteroflexible person who advocates for dismantling cisheteropatriarchy and amatonormativity than a gay/bi person whose only contribution to the “community” is telling other people they aren’t allowed, and i’d rather have a hsp person who advocates for accessibility and dismantling ableism than an autistic/adhd person who only wants to assimilate in order to gain power for themself.

adhd and spd are flawed, medicalized terms in and of themselves - the way i process sensory input isn’t a disorder! it’s just different! but i use adhd for ease of communicating What’s Going On Here and to align myself with a community i relate to. i don’t think hsp is legitimate because i don’t think any diagnostic or quasi-diagnostic term for neurodivergence is legitimate; the inverse of that is i don’t think it’s necessarily any less legitimate than anything else we’ve got, it’s just a matter of why and how people use it.

[hadit93]

https://frater370.blogspot.com/2021/05/magical-approach-to-plant-materia.html

This is a short piece on how I go about selecting, procuring, and using plant materia in my own magic. I have posted it on my other blog as it may be easier to read. I will also post it below.

Magical Approach to Plant Materia.

Overview.

My approach to plants has been influenced by several sources, some of which I have listed at the end, however it is far simpler and less involved. This has its costs as well as its benefits. I know what works for me, I know what mythos I like to clothe my magick in, and I know what is personally important to me as well as what is not. Therefore, it may seem like my approach is at odds with that of other people, and it is, but it is not at odds with myself! Try my methods out alongside the methods of others, experiment, and see what works for you.

Dried or Fresh?

One of the questions that people usually ask first is whether dried ingredients- the ones you usually buy from metaphysical stores- are okay to use in magick. Yes, they are. But fresh is always best. The same is true in cooking as well as magick. Fresh herbs, especially those picked from nature by the magical worker, contain more spirit within them, more essence. They are also more potent in their latent power. Notice I say latent, in magick the magician can awake the same power in dried herbs and consecrate it to work in alignment with their Will. But fresh herbs will have more of this latent power in abundance.

Sometimes certain plant materia is rare, expensive, or simply cannot be found within your climate. In this case, I recommend first seeing if there could be a local alternative, and if not, buying dried from a reputable seller. Of course if one is making incense from plant materia dried is naturally better to begin with.

Preparation Before Going Out Into The Fields.

Before going out collecting herbs I like to align my Will with the universal Will and local spirits. So first I wash my hands and face. Then I will go to my altar and pray and state my intention out loud. For example, “I wish to venture out and gather herbs for the sacred work of x” I normally have an idea of what plants. I want, and so I list those too, however, sometimes nature surprises with you with great additional plants or alternatives. I then petition the spirits of the local area and offer some fresh water and incense that they may help me favourably.

I then pack my things. This includes:

A small sharp knife which is capable of cutting plants and small pieces of wood cleanly and with one stroke.

A small silk lined bag. (I bought some silk and stitched it to the inside of a small bag)

A bottle of fresh spring water.

A smartphone which has a map for safety as well as an internet connection which allows for identification of plants.

Collecting Plant Materia From The Fields.

Most of the time I see a plant I know and want to work with. Other times I find I am drawn to plants as though they are calling me. In this case, I get out my smartphone and get to work identifying the plant. I check if its poisonous and superficially check if it is suitable for my working. If it isn’t but seems useful for another working I make a note of its location and leave it for now. I will detail how I decide what plants are used for later.

Once we come to a plant I want to pick I kneel by it. I place my hand upon it or just over it and I communicate with intent, energy, and words what I want to do. That is, I ask its permission to be an ally in my work. I then wait for a response. This tends to be an inner feeling of rightness or wrongness, both of these feelings are unmistakeable. Other times the plant seemingly responds a certain way to the wind which causes these feelings to arise. It is truly a matter of intuition and cannot be taught human to human.

If an agreement is reached I offer the plant spirit water and then cut only what I need from the plant and place it in my silk bag. Do not let it touch the Earth as the spiritual powers may become grounded. I recommend you research beforehand how to cut from different types of plants for the least harm. I then take my finger, dab it in the spring water and rub the wound of the plant channeling an intent to heal. Once again offer a little water to the plant, and thank it for its sacrifice.

If an agreement is not reached, which does happen from time to time, give your thanks and offer a little water anyway. Either move to a different plant of the same species nearby, or search for an alternative altogether. It may be that despite a book stating one herb as brilliant for this use, the local nature spirits may have a better alternative for the working at hand. Either way, we must respect the plants decision.

Obviously, if you are collecting dried herbs you are simply purchasing them from a reputable vendor. Whilst we cannot offer the plant water and some spiritual power may have been lost due to contact to the ground, or because it is ‘less fresh’ we can still awaken the latent power within them. I hold the dried herbs in my hand and reach out to the parent plant or plants. I then give thanks and blow into the herbs with my own life force. This in turn awakens the life force within.

Consecration.

Prior to magical work I take the herbs and wash them under the tap and place them in jars. Each plant in their own. I then gather materials for my ritual. There are many ways you can use plants in magic. You can create magical incenses, tinctures, teas, charm bags, mojo bags, and magical oils. The idea behind most of these methods is that the herbs are consecrated to a purpose and work alongside other herbs and materials to form a sort of spiritual being, an ally to do the work.

If in a charm or mojo bag the spirit will have to be fed with energy or condition oils. The rule appears to be that if you make a charm out of degradable materials, i.e., fresh herbs that rot and dried herbs that lose potency over time you need to continue feeding so that the spirit still has strength. In oils and tinctures this is not usually an issue as the oil or alcohol preserves the plant matter. So regular feeding is not required. Incense is also not required to be fed as the fire releases the spirit essence when it is burned.

There are different traditions as to the number of herbs used, the time of feeding, the method of feeding. As a rule of thumb- if it is a short-term goal once a week is fine. If it is a long-term goal for a slow manifestation process or ongoing process once a week for the first month and then once a month thereafter, or whenever it feels it needs it.

Occasionally, I set up a ritual magic setting, other times I do not. It depends on my mood and what exactly I am doing. For example, if the Herbs I have are for something to do with love I will sometimes perform the ritual of the Hexagram of Venus and channel that energy along with my own into the plant. This also allows you to call upon the energies of Venus to maintain the charge of the consecrated item. However, this is not necessary, your energy, Will and the spirits of the plants are sufficient. It is a good boost to have though if say you are using lots of dried materials. Another good idea is to consecrate a crystal or talisman (something more durable requiring less feeding) with the intent of maintaining the charge of the charm bag etc.

But in general, I take each individual plant and whisper my intent into it. Breathing my energy into it and drawing out the energy within it. I then add it to whatever it is I am creating. I do this with each one, spending some time with each herb. Sometimes if I have an appropriate incense I smoke the herbs over the incense. Once the product is constructed I whisper once more and breathe three times. I then seal it. This is true of all techniques I use except mojo bags which have a different procedure, albeit similar. But not wanting to get into the realms of cultural appropriation and being cancelled by children who have no concept of magical history or practice I shall not state the method here.

I normally feed with energy infused with breath, however, smoking through pertinent incense is also satisfactory. I normally use plant magic these days in oils and tinctures and use them to energise other things such as talismans as well as my own etheric body.

If a product has become spiritually inert I deconstruct it and bury the plant materials giving thanks and permission to depart. I then leave another offering of water and cover with Earth. It can be nice to bury the plant material near where you picked it and give thanks to the parent plant and local spirits. However, this is not always practical and your own back garden is absolutely fine! Unless it is a curse in which case away from the home, perhaps in a cemetery or church is better.

This is my own simple method. I have done and sometimes still do more involved rituals. But I don’t want to share them here. They are quite personal and in some cases are family traditions. I believe I have covered the essence of plant magic in a simple way which can be embellished with personal flair.

How I select plants.

I tend to start with the basics, what does it look like? What colours does it have? What are these colours associated with? I then branch out into folklore and myths surrounding the plants- what sorts of things did the stories have about the plants. What have they been traditionally used for in medicine? This allows you to start forming a tradition around the plant, a correspondence around the plant within which you can plug your magical intention. For example, we know Lavender is purple, purple is Yesod- the moon. Lavender has been used medicinally to calm and induce sleep. Therefore, lavender is a potent herb to include in a recipe for dream work. It is that sort of thinking.

Luckily, many people have already done this thinking for you. Which is the purpose of the resources list below. Like I say sometimes plants will call out to you, it is ultimately up to you to find out how they can work for you.

EDIT: It has been brought to my attention that uprooting wild plants is illegal and environmentally irresponsible in the U.K. I thought I made it clear but if not- never take the whole plant, only what you need. Always research how to take from a plant without harming it. An app is okay for identification on the go but always strive to have knowledge of the local species first. Sometimes I assume I have made things clear when I have not.

Resources.

Ars Philtron by Daniel Schulke.

Viradium Umbris by Daniel Schulke.

Thirteen Pathways of Occult Herbalism by Daniel Schulke.

Hoodoo Herb and Root Magic by Cat Yronwode.

Sticks, Stones, Roots, and Bones by Stephanie Rose-Bird.

The Witching Herbs by Harold Roth.

Encyclopedia of Magical Herbs by Scott Cunningham.

[cryptidcircuslife]

Hi unofficial compilation of Getting Away From A Place tips

this is tailored to a specific situation so please do your own research for stuff more specific to you

running away tips subreddit

Short Term Preparation:

These are the things you can prepare now if you have to get out fast and unexpectedly

Do not tell anyone about your plan other than those directly involved in helping you.

Make a plan for your cash. You don't want to access an account your family can access or freeze. Slowly withdraw money and hide it if it's at risk of being taken. Withdrawing it all the day you leave will raise a red flag and have you on camera (atm or bank), if you even have time. As a legal adult, you may be able to get away with this because you aren't doing anything against the law. Just make sure to do it before your family finds out about you leaving. When you leave, if you don’t want to be traced- don’t use cards.

For hiding paper cash- you know your house and its occupants best. Determine what objects you have that won't be thrown away or tampered with by someone, and if they have a hollow space, store it. I used to use opaque pill bottles, hidden pockets or bindings in notebooks, the linings of old dvd or game cases, water bottles, gum cases, (all of these put in clothing or backpack pockets), opening the lining of coats and backpacks and hiding it inside of that, inside of hygeine products like the hollow part of a deodorant stick. Inside old electronics. in the stuffing of a plushie. Underneath the insoles of shoes you dont wear often.

Even if your money isn't at risk of being taken, store some of it separately anyway for emergencies.

I heard the bare minimum for running away with no destination or job is $1k. Judge for yourself your needs.

Get a backpack. Waterproof/resistant is better, but any is good. Don't pack it yet, so you don't arouse suspicion. But test out packing it to see if everything fits, and unpack it. Modify some hidden compartments so that when you travel, you will have places to hide your IDs and Cash- it's necessary so no one steals it. You want to travel light, regardless of your situation, because packing and carrying a ton of stuff takes time and you don't always have time on the day you leave.

Get a secondary bag. I learned the hard way that a backpack doesn't fit everything you'll need. Especially with amenities, food, clothing, personal possessions.... A duffel bag, one of those canvas grocery bags. A tote. Something to hold by hand.

Packing lists for running away are surprisingly similar to emergency evacuation pack lists.

Clothes to pack: 1 short sleeve shirt. 1 long sleeve shirt. 1 pair of pants. 7 sock pairs. 7 underwear pairs. 1 jacket. Some winter gear if you can, because nights will always be cold especially if you are stuck outside.

Hygeine to pack: deodorant. toothpaste. toothbrush. floss. baking soda if you’ll be on the road for a long time. Special products you may need- cream for a skin condition, sunscreen. I recommend a small essential oil bottle as a bug repellent, and some have antibacterial properties to help you/your clothes not smell musty af, and they're safe on the skin.

Must-haves to pack: you should have your social security card and another form of ID, like a state ID or drivers license. Pass port if you have one, and birth certificate or a copy if you can. Your cash. A map of your state/region.

Valuables to pack: bring a few things to keep you entertained that are small. A small book, or a notebook and pen. Try not for anything too heavy or bulky. Any survival gear you may own (sewing kits, first aid, multitools, matches, lighters).

If you will be staying outside, get a sleeping bag. Thermal blanket for cold temps.

Food to pack: bring healthy nonperishable food. Junk food won't do much for you on the move. Go for granola/protein bars, dried fruit, meat bars, jars of nut butters, canned food. A water bottle. Bring all medication you need.

Stuff to wear on you: go for baggy and multi-pocketed stuff. Don't wear your favorite clothing if you don't want to be identified, and make sure they blend well into the environment. Grey is the most unnoticeable color, then black, then neutrals. If identification isn't a problem, only wear and pack your favorite things. Wear comfortable and travel safe shirt and pants. Wear a hoodie or tie it around your waist so it doesnt take up bag space. A hat. Keep some cash in a hidden pocket if you can. Wear comfortable sneakers you can move around in for a long time and is good for the weather of where you live. Keep your self defense on you - knives, pepper spray, etc. (and learn the laws for those in your area)

Note: Storing some of these supplies around or in hiding places won't be too weird. Keeping the 'valuables' in the backpack won't be too strange to anyone either. Keeping everything nearby so you can quickly dump everything in the bags and go is a good idea. But Do Not Pack the clothes until the day you leave. clothes are a warning signal for leaving. And you cannot let them find out about your plans, especially if you are in a dangerous place.

Last note: know these are flexible to you. You can add or change stuff, as long as you have the most important things.

Long Term:

These are the things you can prepare for better

Save as much money as possible. You can secretly sell things.

Research more about what you may experience, be that attaining financial independence or how to train hop and live on the streets temporarily. Look at other people's tips for running away, or their experiences. Research moving out tips. Research specific to your area or where you will be headed. Libraries, shelters, charities, support organizations, 24-hour restaurants and locations. Research ticket prices, gas prices, etc. Apartment search. Be sure to remove those from your history. Cleaning it entirely may be suspicious if someone monitors that.

Build a budget and a food plan for how you will use your savings on the road.

As an adult, if you manage to get hired secretly for a job in your target location, you can apply for housing there, too. You will get set move-in dates and can give dates you can start working that work with your runaway schedule.

If you're running away as a minor, you can't stay with friends. However, as an adult you can. If someone is trying to find you, you'll have to be careful still.

If you need to leave fake trails because someone might search for you, there are some excellent resources by people trying to hide from domestic violence. The main tips are leaving fake trails in cities far away from wherever you will be- job applications you have no intention of following through on, apartment applications, phone calls, internet searches, purchases, etc. These can go more in-depth.

If you will be tracked, figure out how to get a burner phone. These are pretty cheap, and so are their service plans. You may want to consider this anyway to pay for your own service if your phone is taken off the existing one. Write down phone numbers you want to keep.

Make sure you have the proper amounts of medications you will need.

Be careful with this one, but figure out if you have any smaller hard-to-replace valuables that you want to bring to your new life but can't pack for your method of travel or might get stolen. Only do this if you have a place you are going to, and are going to get a job and housing there. Make a plan with a trusted friend to hold on to a few things you cannot carry in your bags and arrange for them to be mailed or picked up later. Only do this with one or two things that are easy to carry, because you will need to get it to them somehow, right? dont do this if you don't have the methods or the time before your runaway day. A good example is that I don't want to replace my laptop but I can't tow it through town and across state lines on a train. my friend can take care of it until I am settled.

Tie off any loose ends that you need to. This can be waiting for a responsibility to be gone, waiting for a last paycheck, or attending something you wanted to go to one last time.

Delete old accounts, and eventually deleting your emails and social media associated with your identity.

Note: The best thing you can do with time is make your supplies as efficient as possible, and plan. plan plan plan.

Schedule your leave date. or a range of leaving dates. But know sometimes it can be unpredictable. Make it a day when no one is home- especially if it's a dangerous situation.

On Runaway Day:

Hopefully you have a small window of time where you are alone.

Make sure you’re wearing all your runaway clothes you have prepared.

Pack your backpack and duffel bag quickly.

Leave a note, even if you don't want to. This is important, because you don't want a search for you because someone thought you were kidnapped or murdered. This way, officials can pretty much ignore it since it was voluntary.

Don’t look nervous or afraid while you are out, since that’ll draw unwanted attention.

If you made a plan for someone to pick you up, or to meet someone, make sure they are punctual. Don't meet right in front of your house if possible. Go a few streets away or somewhere less noticeable. Again, make sure whatever you bring is easy to carry so you move fast and no one tries to steal it.

If unfortunately you have to leave very quickly and haphazardly, leave anything not immediately important to survival behind.

Buy your burner phone with cash. Add your written numbers to the contacts. Create your new email and social media from there. If you're hiding, don't take pictures of yourself. Don't use your real name or information. Keep private accounts, and don't interact with anyone who will give you away.

If you have other travel plans, make your way there. Head to your safe places, your shelter, wherever you have planned. You are in your new life.

Once You Are Out:

Take care of your immediate needs. Find resources for food, water, and shelter.

Start accessing any support resources, regardless of what your situation is. In a town I lived in, there was an LGBTQ+ resource center that had entertainment/food/clothing/education clubs/showering/laundry/other amenities and programs for both lgbtq+ and homeless youth. I also took part in a gift drive for a specific minority that I qualified as, which gave me a lot of food.

Start working towards your future goals. Start job searching, and from there being able to secure housing. Start making friends. build a support structure. i hope it goes well

Rebuild your supplies and closet when you have the location security to do so.

[dirk-has-rabies]

Gender variance and it's link with neurodivergency

Okay so this is it going to be another long one

All quotes will be sourced with a link to the scientific journal I took it from

Okay Tumblr, let's talk gender (I know, your favorite topic) my preface on why this topic matters to me is: I'm autistic ( diagnosed moderate to severe autism) I'm nonbinary trans ( in a way that most non-autistic people don't understand and actually look down on)  and I went to college for gender study ( Mostly for intersex studies but a lot of my research was around non-binary and trans identities) I will be using the term autism as pants when I have experience with however when ADHD is part of the study I will use ND which stands for neurodivergent and yes this is going to be about xenogenders and neopronouns.

autism can affect gender the same way autism can affect literally every part of an identity. a big thing about having autism is the fact that it completely can change how you view personhood and time and object permanence and gender and literally all types of socially constructed ideas. let me also say hear that just because Society creates and enforces an idea does it mean that it doesn't exist to all people it just me that there is no nature law saying that it's real and the “rules” for these ideas can change and delete and create as time and Society evolves and changes.  gender is one of those constructs.

Now I'll take it by you reading this you know what transgender people are  (if you don't understand what a trans person is send me an ask and I'll type you up a pretty little essay lmao,  or Google it but that's a scary thought sense literally any Source or website can come up on Google including biased websites so be careful I guess LOL) anyway to be super basic trans people are anyone who doesn't identify as the gender they were assigned at Birth (yes that includes non-binary people I could do a whole nother essay about that shit how y'all keep spreading trying to separate non-binary people from the trans umbrella)  some people don't like to use the label and that is totally fine by the way.

now autistic people to view the world in a way differently than allistic (neurotypical) ppl do.  we don't take everything people teach us at 100% fact and we tend to question everything and demand proof and evidence for things before we can set it as a fact in our brains. This leads to why a lot of autistic people are atheist (although a lot of religions and this is not bashing on religious people at all I am actually a Jewish convert)  this questioning leads to a lot of social constructs being ignored or not understood At All by a lot of autistic people and personally I think that's a good thing.  allistics take everything their parents and teachers and schools teach them as fact until someone else says something and then they pick which ones to believe. autistic people study and research and learn about a topic before forming an opinion and while this may lead to them studying and believing very biased material and spitting it out as fact it can also lead them to try and Discover it is real by themselves.

because of this autistic people are more question their gender or not fall in a binary way at all as the concept of gender makes no sense to a lot of us. “ if gender is a construct then autistic people who are less aware of social norms are less likely to develop a typical gender identity”

no really look: “ children and teens with autism spectrum disorder ASD or Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder ADHD  are much more likely to express a wish to be the opposite sex compared with their typical developing peers” That was posted in 2014. we have been saying this stuff forever but no one wants to listen. the thing is gender variance (being not cisgender or at least questioning it)  has always been closely hand-in-hand with autistic and ADHD people I'm even the doctor who did that study understood right away that it all made sense the whole time: “ Dr. Strang said they were initially surprised to find an overrepresentation of gender variance among children with ADHD. However, they later realized that prior studies have shown increased levels of disruptive behavior and other behavioral problems among young people with gender variance”  SEE YOURE NOT WEIRD YOURE JUST YOU AND YOURE NOT ALONE IN THIS!!

5% autistic people who did the study were trans or questioning. it was also equal between the Sexes fun fact. that may not seem like a lot till you realize that the national average is only .7% that's literally over 700% higher than the national average. That's so many! and that's just in America.

 in Holland there was a study in 2010 “ nearly 8% of the more than 200 Children and adolescents referred to a clinic for gender dysphoria also came up positive on a assessment for ASD” they weren't even testing for ADHD so the numbers could be even higher!

now I want to talk about a  certain section of the trans umbrella that a lot of autistic people fall under called the non-binary umbrella. non-binary means anything that isn't just male or just female. it is not one third gender and non-binary doesn't mean that you don't have a gender. just clearing that up since cis people keep spreading that. non-binary is an umbrella term for any of the infinite genders you could use or create. now this is where I'm going to lose a bunch of you and that's okay because you don't have to understand our brains or emotions To respect us as real people. not many allistics can understand how we see and think and relate to things and that's okay you don't have to understand everything but just reading about this could be so much closer to respecting us for Who We Are from you've ever been and that's better than being against us just for existing.

now you might have heard of my Mutual Lars who was harassed  by transmeds for using the term Autigender (I was going to link them but if it gets traction I don't want them to get any hate)  since a lot of people roll their eyes at that  and treated them disgustingly for using a term that 100% applied correctly.  Autigender  is described as " a neurogender which can only be understood in the context of being autistic or when one's autism greatly affects one's gender or how one experiences gender. Autigender is not autism as a gender, but rather is a gender that is so heavily influenced by autism that one's autism and one's experience of gender cannot be unlinked.” Now tell me that doesn't sound a lot like this entire essay I've been working on with full sources…..

xenogenders and neopronouns are a big argument point on whether or not people “believe” in non binary genders but a big part of those genders is that they originated from ND communities and are ways that we can try to describe what gender means us in a way that cis or even allistic trans people just can't comprehend or ever understand. Same with MOGAI genders or sexualities. A lot of these are created as a way to somehow describe an indescribable relationship with gender that is so personal you really cant explain it to anyone who isnt literally the same as you.

Even in studies done with trans autistic people a large amount of them dont even fall on a yes or no of having a gender at all and fall in some weird inbetween where you KINDA have a gender but its not a gender in the sense that others say it is but its also too much of a gender so say youre agender. And this is the kind of stuff that confuses allistic trans people and makes them think nonbinary genders are making stuff up for attention, which isnt true at all we just cant explain what it feels like to BE a trans autistic person to anyone who doesnt ALREADY know how it feels.

In this study out of the ppl questioned almost HALF of the autistic trans individuals had a “Sense of identity revolving around interests” meaning their gender and identity was more based off what they liked rather than boy or girl. That makes ppl with stuff like vampgender or pupgender make a lot more sense now doesnt it? We see that even in the study: “My sense of identity is fluid, just as my sense of gender is fluid […] The only constant identity that runs through my life as a thread is ‘dancer.’ This is more important to me than gender, name or any other identifying features… even more important than mother. I wouldn't admit that in the NT world as when I have, I have been corrected (after all Mother is supposed to be my primary identification, right?!) but I feel that I can admit that here. (Taylor)” and an agreement from another saying “Mine is Artist. Thank you, Taylor. (Jessie)” now dont you think if they grew up with terms like artistgender or dancergender they would just YOINK those up right away????

In fact “An absence of a sense of gender or being unsure of how their gender should “feel” was another common report” because as ive said before in this post AUTISTIC PEOPLE DONT SEE GENDER THE WAY ALLISTIC PEOPLE SEE IT. therefore we wont use the same terms or have the same identities nor could we explain it to anyone who doesnt already understand or question the same way! Participants even offered up quotes such as “As a child and even now, I don't ‘feel’ like a gender, I feel like myself and for the most part I am constantly trying to figure out what that means for me (Betty)” and also “I don't feel like a particular gender I'm not even sure what a gender should feel like (Helen)”

Now i know this isnt going to change everyones minds on this stuff but i can only hope that it at least helped people feel like theyre not broken and not alone in their feelings about this. You dont have to follow allistic rules. You dont have to stop searching inside for who you really wanna be. And you dont have to pick or choose terms forever because just as you grow and evolve so may your terms. Its okay to not know what or who you are and its okay to identify as nonhuman things or as your interests because what you love and what you do is a big part of who you are and shapes you everyday. Its not a bad thing! Just please everyone, treat ppl with respect and if you dont understand something that doesnt make it bad or wrong it just means its not for you. And thats okay.

[pi-cat000]

BNHA: Kakashi dimension hops crossover (1)

Summary: Kakashi gets dumbed into the My Hero Academia universe through random plot devise.

Characters:  Kakashi Hatake

Fandoms: My Hero Academia and Naruto

WARNINGS: Mentions of violence/injury

Inspired by Unforeseen Mayhem by Aerugonian 

Here is their tumblr (all their work is so good)

(NEXT)

...

Kakashi thinks he might have died. He remembers the flash of steel and Obito’s face or maybe it had been Madara. His memory of the events leading up to the attack are hazy after receiving one too many hits to the head. What he does remember is the slowly spinning, hypnotic red of a Sharingan, and the quick build-up then explosion of chakra.

Then there was excruciating pain in his left eye and…darkness…

…

Kakashi opens his remaining, usable eye to gaze up at tall angled structures that stretch into a grey overcast sky. He can’t feel the left side of his face, his limbs are numb and unresponsive, and there is the damp of blood soaking through his hair. The bone-deep ache of chakra exhaustion is so all-encompassing that he can barely lift his hand let alone stop the bleeding. Around him, there are several people yelling in shock and surprise. Civilians he vaguely notes as he clings to consciousness. There is no sign of Madera, Obito or any of Kakashi’s allies for that matter.

When his vision dims for a second time he thinks that this, this would be his last breath. Alone, severely injured, in a foreign location and with only civilians as help? It was a death sentence.

He is wrong in the end.

…

Kakashi wakes up in a strange hospital bed surrounded by the strangest people he has ever seen. He also wakes up covered in bandages, his more serious injures either treated or in various stages of recovery.

The air is dry with a distinct lack of chakra. It is something he would usually only see in a prison cell made to contain dangerous shinobi in which chakra draining fuinjutsu arrays were applied to the walls and floor. There are no fuinjutsu arrays here. This is not a prison cell. For one, there is a large window. Secondly, there is a constant stream of doctors, nurses and other patients moving in, out and around the building. Finally, the door to the room is not locked. It doesn’t even have a lock.

After memorising the comings and goings of the people working in the strange hospital, he takes some time to scout. Even while injured and drained of chakra, he has enough skill and experience to avoid the workers and other sickly people he shares his room with.

 The world outside his window is one of cement, concrete and brick, with tall imposing structures covered in reflective glass standing higher than any building he has seen before. The closest point of comparison he has are the buildings in the Hidden-Rain and Stone villages but even those are a loose approximation. The hospital is both similar to Konoha’s main hospital, abet a lot bigger and full of strange equipment and technology. The people, despite their lack of chakra, display odd and inconstant abilities, techniques and physical deformities. One of the doctors has a lizard tail and he catches a glimpse of a man with a wooden block for a head. He sees a woman heal a cut with a simple hand wave. Either he is in an unusually elaborate and detailed genjutsu or he is very far away from Kohoha.

Everything is so odd and strange that he is well and truly stumped, leaving him with nothing else to do but quickly return to his hospital room. At least the weird chakra-less people are non-hostiles and willing to provide much needed medical attention. Though he is, as of yet, uncertain about the purpose or motive behind said medical attention seeing as he was a complete unknown to them.

After some consideration, Kakashi decides to wait. He has no idea how he ended up in the place aside from a loose theory that involved his still healing Kamui Sharingan. Additionally, there was no use trying to get back home with stab wounds, his leg broken, his ribs cracked, his shoulder muscles torn and his chakra levels so pathetically low that he’d probably kill himself if he tried.

He takes solace in the fact that his presence, while probably missed to some extent- he likes to think so anyway- wouldn’t impact the outcome of any major conflict. With Naruto’s stubbornness and Sakura’s tenacity, home would be waiting for him, even if he took a bit of time getting there.

…

After a week of information gathering -ie pretending to be unconscious and listening to conversations- Kakashi concludes that the people operating the hospital are relatively harmless. They seem to be under the mistaken impression that Kakashi is a citizen of their village and thus automatically entitled to medical attention. This is despite his lack of identification or history with the place. Such a thing would never happen in Konoha as even civilians were carefully monitored and tracked. Without identification or relatives/friends to vouch for them, a civilian would more likely be thrown out of the village than given what was surely resource-consuming medical treatment. It is lucky for him that there are apparently so many civilians in this village that their shinobi-equivalent forces couldn’t properly keep track of them all. Another point in favour of it not being any sort of hidden-village or any place he was familiar with.

 “Oh, thank goodness!” Says the greying, middle-aged man in a white coat as he approaches Kakashi's bed, “You’re finally awake. How do you feel.”

“Ah…a bit tired,” Kakashi plasters on a confused smile, raising his undamaged hand to rub the back of his head, hunching his shoulders for good measure. The perfect image of a disoriented patient.

 “What happened? Where am I?”

There was only so much he could achieve be pretending to be unconscious and snooping around at night. It was time to get a real feel for residents of this strange place and figure out his next move. This meant integrating into the local culture.  

“No need to worry. You’re in Hosu General Hospital and you’re well on your way to recovery,” A nod and the doctor moves forward to stand beside his bed, “A little drowsiness is a normal side effect of the pain medication we have you on. Now, if I may have your name?”

“Kakashi.” If they hadn’t recognised the Sharingan when they had bandaged it up, then they most likely wouldn’t recognise his name either.

“Well, Kakashi,” The man says with no hint of acknowledgement, “My name is Wada Yasutoki and I’m here to make sure you are recovering properly. Can you tell me if you are feeling any discomfort or pain at the moment?”

“Hmmm…my arm and leg?”

“Would you be able to rate it on a scale of 1 to 10?”

Kakashi thinks for a second and shrugs, “3.” Honestly, he only notices the pain when he’s consciously paying attention.

Another nod and Doctor Wada fusses about, examining the bandages around his shoulder and then his leg, “Well, they seem to be healing as well as any broken limb, maybe even a bit faster. And the stab wound near your chest is almost completely gone.” A thoughtful hum follows the statement. “If not for your left eye I would say you had a healing or regeneration quirk…hmmm…maybe a passive healing factor linked to your quirk…?” Wada looks to him, waiting for confirmation and Kakashi shrugs. From his nightly snooping he knows that ‘quirk’ is the term for the bloodline ability things the people here had.

The Doctor doesn’t press the matter instead asking, “Is there any discomfort in the left side of your face?”

“No.” Kakashi doesn’t want the people here touching his eye any more than necessary. The fact that it is draining charka at its usual sluggish rate was a sign that it was, at least, somewhat functional and that’s good enough for him. He guesses he should be thankful for landing in a place with medicine advanced enough to save it.

“You had us concerned when you didn’t wake after we saw to all your injuries,” The Doctor continues, “Your left eye took quite a bit of damage and we were worried that there might have been some sort of brain injury. If you feel dizzy, lightheaded or confused please, do not hesitate to call a nurse.”

The man shakes his head and sighs, “Now, I understand if you want a bit of space after going through such a traumatic event but if you could provide any details concerning the predicament that ended with you so badly injured it would be a great help to the investigation.”

Kakashi gives a faked confused hum and smiles apologetically, “Sorry Doctor Wada. I'm having trouble remembering much of anything really.”

“Nothing? No details about the potential assailant at all. What they look like? Their quirk?”

“No. Where is Hosu General Hospital by the way?”

His bland expression obviously causes his doctor some concern as he is subjected to a penlight being shone in his uncovered eye.

 “It is located in Hosu City, a ward of Tokyo. Where is the last place you remember being?”

The names mean nothing to him.  Kakashi schools his features into one of complete confusion, “I don’t remember.” 

It’s not even a lie this time. 

After the admission,  Doctor Wada only grows more concerned and Kakashi is subjected to many reassurances that it is completely normal to forget a few things after a brain injury and that he shouldn’t worry himself too much. The level of comforting and reassuring is a bit much if he is being honest. Never before has he longed for the cold frowns of  Konoha’s medic-nin.

“I’ll have to schedule you in for an MRI. If you’re having trouble recalling basic facts alongside your long-term memories, then there might a serious problem.” The older man finally concludes, having run through an extensive list of questions regarding Kakashi’s history all of which he answers with vague half-truths.  Where did he grow up? Somewhere with a lot of trees. Did he have any close relatives? He thinks they might have died when he was little. What does he do for a living? Commission work. Did he have any colleagues? He doesn’t know where they are. So on and so forth.

“It’s a shame your ID and phone were missing when they found you. Stolen by the bastard who put you in this situation no doubt,” the Doctor sighs again, “We might have been able to track down your records. Oh well, we’ll do our best with what we have.”

Kakashi doesn’t speak, pretending to be deep in thought. Mentally, he pats himself on the back for an infiltration gone surprisingly well considering his lack of preparation and the flakiness of the ‘sorry I don’t remember my backstory’ excuse.

“I don’t suppose you remember anything about your quirk,” the doctor asks, “Ocular quirks can have odd effects on brain activity and ability to process information. It might give us a place to start.”

From what he had seen, ‘quirks’ tended to have a specific function but he is still trying to figure out their limits. All he knew for sure was that none of them used chakra.

“It’s called the Sharingan.” He offers to see what the doctor does with the information, “I don’t remember much else about it.”

“Hmmm, ‘copy wheel eye’…it’s a descriptive name at least. Maybe a quirk that deals with memorisation or information recall. I will see if I can find it on the Quirk Registry. Hopefully, that will be enough. ”

Kakashi nods loosely in agreement, filing away the fact that there was a Quirk Registry for later contemplation. 

(NEXT)