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#whats it called when you hate yourself for asking for nice things bc it's selfish
sfucked · 7 months
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scekrex · 3 months
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Could you do an Adam x Angel Reader where their relationship is toxic(?) based on a song called 'Love Me Dead' but instead of female pronouns it's replaced with male pronouns? The song has female pronouns so I'm just imagining it with male pronouns.
Gosh I love that song so much! Gimme more song fic requests guys I love writing em ueuch
Love me dead
pairing: Adam x male!reader
warnings: language, toxic relationship, irresponsible use of alcohol
note: not beta read bc fuck you
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Love me cancerously/Like a salt-sore soaked in the sea/High-maintenance means you’re a gluttonous king/Narcissistic and mean
Adam. The first man was quite the complicated topic to talk about, not only when you were talking to him but also when you were talking about him to your friends. Never in your existence before had you met a person as selfish and self-absorbed as the so beloved first man. You couldn’t understand how so many people liked - let alone tolerated - him, you couldn’t understand why so many people were attracted to his disgusting and truly rotten character. And yet you were one of those people who found him attractive - that was the thing you hated the most about yourself. You loved this man with your entire heart while at the same time every single cell of your body held hatred for the brunette man sitting on the couch in your living room.
Kill me romantically/Fill my soul with vomit then ask me for a piece of gum/Bitter and dumb, you’re my sugarplum/You’re awful, I love you
With a deep sigh that left your body in frustration you grabbed yourself a drink - it wasn’t something hard, just a light drink that would make it just that much easier to have him around. You weren’t quite sure how you did it, but you had managed to charm the angel up quite well, you had him wrapped around your finger while at the same time the both of you were very aware of how much you hated each other - because one thing was for sure: the hatred you felt was mutual, the brunette on your couch hated your guts just as much as you hated his and to that very day it amazed you that he was still willing to call himself your boyfriend - fuck it wasn’t even a private relationship, Heaven knew you were dating and in public he seemed so proud and prideful of it. In private, when it was just you and him in your shitty apartment things were different though.
He moves through moonbeams slowly/He knows just how to hold me/And when his edges soften/His body is my coffin
You emptied the glass in your hand, watching the man from the counter of your kitchen as you refilled your glass. Adam looked beautiful, just sitting there in the dimmed lights of your living room, watching whatever the fuck it was that he was watching and sipping on the can filled with beer in his hand. A shiver ran through your body at how disgusted you were by your own thoughts, you knew you should throw him to the flames, forget about him and move on to either live your best single life or find someone worthy of your love - because Adam deserved many things in your eyes but none of them were positive or even slightly nice. And yet there he was, hanging out at his boyfriend’s house, sipping a cold beer, seeming quite happy with the situation. The glass in your hand was empty again before you even knew it and you decided to simply grab the bottle instead, there was no use in refilling the glass over and over again. There was not enough alcohol in this house to numb your feelings for Adam anyway.
I know he drains me slowly/He wears me down to bones in bed/Must be the sign in my head, it says:
“Love me dead,” you mumbled to yourself as you took a swig from the bottle and headed over to the disgustingly small couch. With yet another sigh you sat down next to Adam, trying to bring as much space between the two of you as possible. The brunette turned his head to look at you for a moment, his eyebrow raised, he asked, “What was that?” But you simply shook your head as you tilted your head back, resting it against the shitty backrest of your shitty couch and took another swig from the bottle, “Nothing.” That was seemingly enough of an answer for the first man because he shrugged and returned his attention back to the TV, which caused you to sigh again. All of this felt so wrong and yet so right and perfect. You wanted to kick him out and pull him close against your chest at the same time so the only logical choice was to lean your head against his shoulder, eyes roaming over the TV to figure out what sort of trash the first man was watching.
You’re a faith healer on TV/You’re an office park without any trees:/Corporate and cold, gushing for gold, leave me alone
You noticed how Adam watched you out of the corner of his eyes for a moment, his body felt tense against yours before he exhaled loudly and wrapped the arm in which he held the can of beer around your shoulders, pulling you in a little closer. Being able to see him up close you realized how tired the first man seemed and you couldn’t name whether it was from Sera’s demands or from your relationship - it was most likely both though. Your body shuddered in surprise as the gleaming golden feathered wing next to you was stretched by Adam and curled around you in protection, giving you the false feeling of comfort and love. It wasn’t that the brunette didn’t love you, he did. But he didn’t love you like normal angels loved, he hated that he loved you, no one else did that. Well no one except for you.
You suck so passionately/You’re a parasitic psycho, filthy creature finger-banging my heart/You call me up drunk, does the fun ever start?/You’re hideous and sexy
You leaned up a little, careful not to spill any liquid from the bottle in your hand or from the can in Adam's and pressed a kiss to his jaw in return of having the golden feathered wing wrapped around him. The brunette grabbed the seemingly empty can with his free hand - the one that was not wrapped around you and had just been resting on his thigh - and put it on the dirty little coffee table in front of the couch. Then he turned towards you, his touch was so gentle, so caring and if you would be unaware of how much he hated you deep within him, you would’ve thought of his touch as sincere. But that wasn’t the world you were living in and yet you decided to lean into his touch and let him guide you closer to him. In the meantime he grabbed the bottle from your hand and put it down on the coffee table right next to his can.
How’s your new boy?/Does he know about me?/You’ve got the mark of the beast/You’re born of a jackal, you’re beautiful
Gently his lips brushed against yours, starting a soft and slow kiss as the hand that had been resting on your shoulder due to how his arm was wrapped around your body trailed down your body to grab your hips in stark contrast to the soft kiss. His touch was firm, demanding and maybe even a little possessive - though that could’ve just been your imagination. The brunette growled against your lips as he pulled you flush against his body before he effortlessly lifted you up and placed you in his lap, keeping you close against him. The soft fingertips on your jaw slid down to your throat and you felt how his entire palm pressed against it - the touch itself remained soft though.
He moves through moonbeams slowly/He knows just how to hold me/And when his edges soften/His body is my coffin
Adam’s wings closed around your body, trapping you against his body and if you were honest you didn’t mind it at all, you liked the way his soft feathers tickled your neck, the way his fingertips pressed into the skin of your waist, holding you firm enough to make it bruise and in God’s mighty name, you even liked the thought of carrying bruises caused by the first man on your body. The pace of Adam’s lips against yours grew a little hungrier, a little rougher and slowly started to match the tight grip on your waist - a soft groan fell from your lips and bled into the steamy growing kiss.
I know he drains me slowly/He wears me down to bones in bed/What ‘bout the sign on my head? It says:
“Love me dead,” Adam growled against your lips, causing your body to vibrate quite violently.
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yonemurishiroku · 1 year
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In your older/ present Nico au how do u see a selfcest plot working out?
A March 15th ask! My sins just pile up don't they... Deep apologies to anon for the long wait. 😭😭😭
Referring to the selfcest plot here: 1 2 3 4 (Pretty messing tho bc I literally just post whatever I think of, pls go to the tag for more)
Anon please please know that I'm so, so glad to see someone interested in the selfcest AU and that your ask delights me to no end. This is my jam and only mine bc obviously nobody's unhinged enough to come up with it. 😭😭😭
To answer your question about "how a selfcest plot works out", I'm assuming you're asking about the relationship aspect, aka how their feelings come to be acknowledged? 👀
In that case, truthfully, I have no idea. LMAO. 😂
Actually no that's not right. Hmm. I mean. When I came up with this AU and decided to categorize it as "selfcest", the only thing in my mind was that: I wanted to see Nico love himself.
So, intrinsically, I suppose it might be a little different from what you might consider a typical romance? - the same way I sometimes go for the peculiar, rare, unnamed types of love. In this case, the important thing - the thing for which I built this whole AU and everything around it - is that Nico getting to show himself what love is.
The love in this, to me, is not technically like typical mainstream romances (of kisses and lovemaking etc...), but rather something about to cherish, to protect, to pray for the other's happiness, sometimes to hate as a result, and to fall.
Abstract, I know. I don't understand half of the things I wrote either. (And to think that I project my own self-esteem problem onto it...)
Anyway, the supreme repertoire of this AU is: the Older Nico showing his younger self that he deserves to be loved and could be selfish - because no one else has done it for him and selfishness is the peak unhealthy self-love - and thus, somewhat salvaging himself from the mistreatment he received in his lifetime.
Rather than romance, let's just say it's cherishing.
So, what about the Young Nico? How does he feel about this?
This is actually an angst pool I like to swim in, but like water, I can't properly get it out.
Let's just put ourselves in yNico's shoes. You have someone who treasures you so much it's unhealthy, and from said affection sprouts their wrongdoings. You can somewhat realize they're at wrong, but they're so nice to you, trying so hard for your sake, and suddenly the weight is on your shoulders.
It's already so complicated.
And to think that said person is your future self? That everything they do is just for your own good? That you sometimes want to trust them - over anything else, knowing nothing good would come out of it? That you have to choose between yourself and what's supposed to be "good"?
It's a can of worms I've yet to unpack. If I were to write this down it'd be a 20-something chapter of 100kw self-doubts and manipulation, for which I abs do not have the willpower.
BUT, let's just ask: Can you even call it love?
Again, it depends on what, exactly, you consider love. In this case, the gratitude is definitely there, the affection is def there - how can it not? when the F!Nico is the one teaching him about love, the desire to hold onto is def there; but the conflicts are also there (bc yeah I just have to make F!Nico an antagonist sue me), the doubts, and the "I wish it didn't have to come to this".
That, in a way, you give up on it, but you'd still be willing to give it a chance - if only there was one: The Young Nico treasures the precious things his future self has taught him, and he knew he had to give up on that, yet he couldn't stop himself from holding on.
Ah I love the blurring borders of love.
If you've followed me long enough, you'd probably realize that I don't always follow the definition of mainstream love/romance. In fact, when I say that "these two are in love", it's hardly ever about them wanting to kiss or lay around in the sheets, but rather them having a deep connection - whether it's by hatred, a grudge, a type of co-dependency, etc...
The term of "selfcest" itself, whilst posing as a couple tag, is used by me to indicate a connection, a somewhat attraction, and not completely a romance of normal standards. ❤🎇✨
So, to answer your question of how the selfcest part might play out: it's love, all the same.
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faerociousbeast · 2 years
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hinata has a lot of inner strength though and supported naruto from the beginning more than sasuke
where did you even come from.... anyways i did say id offer asks like this a little of my time from now on since you seem to have difficulties with your brains when viewing the series yourselves so.
inner strength? i imagine youre referring to her attempting to train herself and then literally not getting anywhere. i do not doubt canon! she did Attempt to do that. however, that isnt really a basis for claiming her external status either.
and no see this is my biggest problem with you people. stop claiming things and giving her credit for things shes never done! admiring is not the same as supporting. she did not hate him ever! this is true!
however, when did this ever HELP naruto? this is where you all seem to get rather confused. heres the thing- she didnt. she never approached him, she never offered him a connection, and youre welcome to equate this to her "shyness" and timidness but then youll have to admit she did Not Do Those Things. and that her so called "kindness" didnt help him when he actually needed it.
he didnt even know she existed. this is not his fault. hinata never made an attempt to let him know she existed. it is NOT his fault for not "loving her back" or "being dense" or whatever the fuck the last claimed, just bc she didnt actively hurt him. inaction ≠ kindness holy crap how many times must i repeat this
she literally just stalked him everywhere and that was kinda it how was he supposed to fucking know???? she only publicly supported him AFTER EVERYONE ELSE DID AS WELL. that does not help, and you need to stop claiming it did.
she never really seemed to see him as just another kid, who was suffering, and that her "support" could possibly help him at least somewhat. she was perfectly content following him everywhere hiding behind things and using his pain to make herself feel better. about her "inner strength" or whatever you said.
but this, is NARUTO helping HINATA from a young age, and he barely even knows of her existence. hinata never did jack shit for him for. pretty much the first 16 years of his life at least, aka the most tough times for him. but HE, was her main inspiration to "get better" WHICH AGAIN ISNT BAD! but stop claiming she did anything in return! she fucking didnt! where is this kindness you speak of?
also you really shouldnt have brought up sasuke. cmon man. this has gotten rather long oops.... but still. just go read the manga again? watch the show maybe? this is also canon ten times over thyeve said it to each other sooo much. they were rivals because they didnt know how to approach each other with friendship. they were EACH OTHERS goals this was not onsided.
if she was so shy, there were MANY options other than fucking stalking someone in a more unfortunate situation than your privellged self everywhere! this is NOT KINDNESS.
he does not owe her JACK SHIT! just bc she "supported him the longest" whats with this weird trend of loving people is suffering and you must force yourself through it or something? what
and if you wanna claim pain arc is super romantic, w hinata throwing herself in front of naruto to say something, sasuke did that too all the way back in land of the waves 💀💀💀💀💀
except he literally did not have time to think (my body moved on its own), he did not have an entire group of people telling him to not interfere as itd only make things worse, he did not think it over and then do it out of SELF PROCLAIMED SELFISHNESS, his actions here were actually REMEMBERED???????? FOR ONE THING??
"more than sasuke" my ass 😭 naruto was so happy nd shit when sasuke was acknowledging him. he finally had someone who understood his pain and didnt judge him. he had someone to train with and inspire him to get better too. but even in again, the WHOLEASS MOVIE they made for a WHOLEASS MARRIAGE, he still looks so sad with her 😭😭
narutos a nice dude and im sure he'd agree with you on the first part! but just. anyways. i dont know what you thought the point of telling me was? i doubt this will affect your opinion, and youll never change mine, soo. see. internet arguments are useless. you legit cpuldve just scrolled down on my blog anyways if you needed an answer from me that bad
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ohworm-writes · 3 years
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hello! :) so u know how kuon has a crush on sniper right ? can i get an imagine where reader is jealous bc of kuon, cuz u know, her crush on sniper etc etc (sorry i'm just vv lazy at typing), and how sniper reacts to it ?? can u make it like they're still friends but have mutual feelings for each other as they hang out as a unit, and they get together in the end bc sum confessions happened !! sorry if u don't get it i'm rlly bad at explaining but thank u in advance if u do this !! <33
High-Rise Invasion/Tenkuu Shinpan: Sniper Mask Boyfriend Imagine
high-rise invasion/tenkuu shinpan masterlist
‼ Jealous Reader (over Kuon) + Make up + Confession ‼
Featuring: Sniper Mask, Yuri Honjo, Mayuko Nise (implied), Kuon Shinzaki (implied)
Warnings: frustrated Y/n, crushes, jealousy
a/n - good GODS this has been in my inbox for a while and i’m so so so sorry for not posting it way sooner! hopefully you see this anon, and i hope you enjoy!
content below the cut!
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you had developed a crush on the man in the mask ever since you first joined Yuri's little group
you couldn't really tell what it was the drew you to him
he was silent, dismissive, and he was a Mask for goodness sake!
but none of that deterred you from the attraction you garnered for him
you always found yourself trying to interact with him
whether it was offering your help with something that he was doing, or simply keeping him company
most times he brushed you off, walking away and not giving you an answer
other times he silently accepted your offer
those times the two of you would sit in comfortable silence, just enjoying one another's presence
you cherish moments like these for a very specific reason
Kuon
now you had nothing against the girl!
... at first
she seemed nice enough, always eager to help, and full of ignorant innocence
but then you realized her (very obvious) crush on the masked man
the way she got flustered around him so easily
the way she clung to him like a lost child
at first, you thought maybe she saw him as a parental figure, seeing how young she was
but that thought was (very) quickly thrown to the wind when you saw her wrapped up in his jacket, blushing like the schoolgirl she was and giggling to herself
so what she liked him? you liked him too, maybe the two of you could bond over that!
that's what you told yourself
of course, you never acted on it
it was simple, you were too jealous to do so
you noticed how Sniper Mask welcomed all her little instances without a care in the world
not giving a damn when she clung to him
or batting an eye at her obvious fangirling
it pissed you off
naturally, you began to avoid Kuon
and Sniper Mask simultaneously
you avoided the two of them whenever you could
when you saw them walking towards you, you kept to the opposite side of the wall and walked quickly past them
when you all usually ate together, you picked up your food and ate outside
you were simply, undeniably jealous
you didn't think Sniper Mask cared about it, not that you could tell under his mask
but in actuality, he was confused as to why you avoided him all of the sudden
so, he opted to ask you one day
You shut the door to the dining room rather aggressively as you exited, but you couldn't care less. You let your body slump against the adjacent wall, your plate of food resting on your lap.
Today had been... exhausting, to say the least. Kuon was on her usual actions of pining over 'Mr. Mask', crossing your way a few more times than you would have liked. During your meeting earlier with her and Yuri, your fellow mouthless masked allies, she had the gall to talk on and on about how much she adored him.
You hated it.
You looked down at your food, a scowl finding its place on your features. You glared at it, pushing the pieces around with your fork, not noticing a door open and close right in front of you.
"Jesus, if that food was alive, it would be 6 feet under with the glare you're giving it." You hear a gruff voice call from in front of you. A voice you would rather not be hearing right now.
You continue to move around the food, staying silent as the man awkwardly stands in front of you, unsure of what to do with himself in this situation. "Is it, uh, okay if I sit here?" He asks, which finally makes you look up.
He had a plate of food between his own hands, his jacket gone and sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His mask covered his face, per usual, but it seemed much more lopsided than usual.
You give him a shrug in response, looking back down at your food again. He stands there for a moment, before taking a seat right next to you, your knees almost touching. "You don't mind if I eat with you, right?"
His question makes your eye twitch. Was he seriously trying to be all buddy-buddy with you now? You shrugged again, not giving him as much as a single word.
You heard him sigh, setting his food to the side before he speaks again. "Alright, what's going on?" He asks, making your body tense up. "Nothing." You shoot back, scowling.
"What happened to the Y/n that stayed up and talked about their life for hours? What happened to the Y/n that told me horrible jokes to try and get a reaction out of me? Huh? What happened to them?"
That broke you.
You were angry, furious even. Was he trying to blame this on you? You didn't do anything wrong! If it wasn't for Kuon, maybe you would still be that person! If it wasn't for her, you could still be friends with him! You could be-
"What?" You hear him say softly, much softer than his previous tone. Shit, did you say that out loud? "Yeah, you did." He says again, looking at you with a concerned expression on his face, not that you could tell.
"I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to lash out. I just- I’ve been-" You stutter, trying to find the right words. He laughs at that, actually laughs at it.
His laugh is hearty, warm, almost inviting you to laugh along with him. You don't, but he quickly composes himself, making your head turn towards him.
"Why on Earth were you jealous of Kuon?" He asks honestly, watching at how the invisible gears turn in your head, searching for an answer. You sigh heavily, running a hand across your face as you shake your hands while you speak.
"I just- she’s always there with you. She's latched onto you 24/7! I can't get 5 minutes alone with you before she comes barging in." You rant, frustration evident in your shaky voice.
"I just wanted to be your friend, be close with you. I can never do that because she's-she's there." You groan, hugging yourself with your arms. "I sound like a selfish idiot now, huh?"
You laugh dryly, frowning. He sighs, but a smile plays at his lips. "Y/n." He begins, his hand resting you your forearm. "You know she would never purposefully do that. She just, she has an infatuation with me I guess."
He sighs dramatically, earning a chuckle from you. "But." He tells you, watching your eyes as he speaks. "That doesn't mean I didn't miss you."
Your heart skips a beat at his comment, face flushing softly. "Kuon also misses you. You might not have caught onto it, but she looks up to you." He explains, smiling at how your expression softens, mumbling a soft 'she does?' to him.
He nods, laughing once more. "Come on, have dinner with the rest of us. We can't have you sitting alone out here anymore." You roll your eyes, but take him up on his word. He leads you back to the other, Kuon frantically waving over to the two of you the second you pass through the door.
"Y/n! Come sit with me!" She yells excitedly. Maybe you were wrong about her.
after that interaction, the three of you were all on much better terms
yes, kuon still had her habits, but he toned them WAY down after you explained to her how it made you feel
she teased the hell out of you for it too
you, of course, shrugged it off
but you never told her that she was wrong
you were happy to be on good terms with Sniper Mask again
he made a lot more time for you
your old interactions coming back at full force, and some new ones
he loved to take you on little walks on the high rises
he also made it a point to teach you how to shoot his rifle
which was terrifying, but exhilarating
you fell for him harder and harder every day
one day, you ranted your feelings out to Kuon
and while she wasn't surprised, it warmed her heart to see how much you loved him
yes, she crushed on him too, but that didn't take away from the obvious connection she saw between the two of you
unbeknownst to you, Sniper Mask had come to her about the same things
his usually cold demeanor broke whenever he talked with you
he genuinely enjoyed your company, he wanted more of it
and then some
so, she put a plan together
operation "get Mr. Mask and Y/n together" is a go!
she took it all very seriously
making sure you guys get paired together for scouting missions? that's all her
convincing Sniper Mask to get you little gifts and things? of course
overall, the best wing-woman you could ask for
however, the one thing she didn't have anything to do with was his confession to you
he could have used her help with it, that much was clear
but he wanted to tell you how he felt, no help necessary
Sniper Mask had told you earlier this morning to meet you at his room when the sunset before he rushed to get out of your vicinity like you were a plague. Granted, it hurt your feelings, but you couldn't stand him up.
You knocked gently on the wooden door, stepping back and waiting patiently for it to open. After about a minute, while you had heard nothing, you went to knock again.
Your efforts were proved useless as the door swung open hastily, revealing a disheveled Sniper Mask. His usual blazer and fedora were long forgotten, his hair messy, strands pointing this way and that. His mask sat lopsided on his face, still covering it fully.
"H-hey Y/n." He mumbled out, you offered him a wave as he awkwardly shuffled to the side, opening the door as an incentive for you to come in. You stepped inside, walking to the center of the room as you heard him close the door behind you.
You turned to speak to him again, but those thoughts were cast aside as you felt his hands settle onto your cheeks and his lips molding with yours. It startled you, you're eyes open in shock as you looked at him. His mask was completely off, thrown somewhere in the room, but he didn't seem to have a care in the world.
You quickly melted into the kiss, bringing your hands up to gently hold onto his forearms. He hummed, taking a moment before pulling away, leaving the two of you to gasp for air as he rested his forehead against yours. You opened your eyes to meet his, full of adoration.
"I, uh, I think I'm in love with you?" It was more of a question, but you took it happily. You laughed softly, your fingers rubbing small circles in his forearms.
"Was that what that was?"
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maijobi · 3 years
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a thin line
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dabi x reader
summary: dabi always seemed to work against your plans so you decided to confront him not knowing what he’d actually after the argument..
a/n: this is make-up for my last fic cuz i was most definitely not proud of that one shxjsjch.. anyways hope you enjoy this one bc I think I actually like the outcome even though it was a bit stressful to come up with the idea.
also,, the ending is an idea I found off of instagram and I was excited to use it here
—————————————————————————
“why don’t we just infiltrate friday at the ball?”, dabi asked shigaraki as he was looking at the plan in front of him.
“because that’d be too much of a risk”, you said, glaring at him and pointing out the obvious.
“a little bit of risks couldn’t hurt you once in a while” dabi snapped at you with a grin.
“alright sir know it all, just about how do you think to get past all the people and guards that’ll literally be standing in front of every door?”, you asked raising one eyebrow. 
“we’ll figure out a way”, he said.
“you don’t even know how you’ll do it, so I say let’s not go for the uncertain. I say we do it during the auction. the guards will be located around the auction area and not the main hall that leads to the big office, where we need to be. if we can get someone to hack the system, getting in will be a piece of cake. I figured out this’ll have a 99% of success based on the analytics we have made till now”, you said confidently. “plus I think I can do the actual infiltration so I can take that job on me. after all i’m the only one that’ll actually get the job done uncaught. “
“sounds too boring. where is the killing? where is the fun?”, dabi said with a bored face. 
“no killing is needed unless someone gets in our way. not everyone needs to actually die in order for us to get to the point we want dabi”, you said irritated at his constant counteraction. 
“alright let’s just take a break for now”, shigaraki said. “for now let’s figure out a detailed plan for both and we’ll choose the one that’ll work out best.”
“but-”, you said.
“if it means you’ll both stop bickering out of hate for once around me I wanna put a pause on this for now. we’ll talk about it tomorrow”, shigaraki said.
“hate? oh no I love her so much”, he teasingly said, making you roll your eyes.
“such a thin line between your love and hate. I give you guys till tomorrow to work your plan out better”, shigaraki said while sighing and taking his leave.
“ugh, this is all your fault”, you said to dabi wile turning away from him and walking to the door after shigaraki was completely out of sight.
“hold on, hold on”, he said confused as he stopped you by turning you around from your shoulder. “how is this suddenly my fault?”
“suggesting plans that dont even make sense?”, you said.
“shigaraki asked us to give him ideas and I did? I don’t see the issue here”, he said not giving in.
“you’re just suggesting your plan because you don’t want mine to work out. it’s literally so obvious, I don’t get why you’re always up in my business and trying to make my plans look bad in front of shigaraki”, you spat, actually getting pissed at him.
“because if your plan gets chosen it’ll put you in danger most”, he suddenly said. you felt taken aback.
“why do you care so much about my so called well being when in reality you don’t even like me?”, you asked. 
“who said I didn’t like you? you just decided that on your own because you didn’t like the idea of me joining your little gang”, he said.
“thats not true”, you said.
“then why is it that you assumed i’d hate you the same way you hate me”, he asked looking at you with his lips pressed against each other and his eyebrows raised.
“you always work against me?”, you said pointing the obvious.
“you might be right there”, he said,”but I have my reasons.”
“these reasons being my so called well being?”, you asked uninterested.
“yes.”
the determination in his voice made you silent for a second. you were slightly shocked at how pure and genuine his words felt. you weren’t sure how to answer on that. but even the slight shyness you felt because of his concern, was overpowered by your anger.
“very nice of you, but I didn’t ask you to care for me. i’m capable of taking care of myself. look out for yourself next time and don’t interrupt my ideas for the sake of your selfish desires. we’re adults, so act like it”, you said walking away for real this time.
“so my sincere words mean literally nothing to you?”, he asked in a slightly angry tone while following you to the common room.
“why are you following me?”, you asked, getting annoyed at his pushy behaviour. 
“cuz i’m trying to get a point across here. it’d be nice if you considered other’s feelings here once in a while”, he said.
you stopped when you were in the center of the room. you were facing him with your back, but turned around with a very annoyed and angry face. “let’s get one thing straight”, you said taking a step closer to him”, no one is here to actually create a family bond. we’re here to interfere and shake up the hero world that failed to be actual heroes to us. I do what’s best for me, but has an actual good outcome for the others too. so don’t go around telling me to consider other’s feelings when all you do is care for your own selfish desires”, you bitterly said. “just when I thought you might have actually cared, you showed just how selfish you are. just when i thought you might not be that bad of a person”, you said rather disappointed instead of angry.
when he spoke no word you decided to take your leave again, walking past him. but before you could actually get to the door you heard his footsteps and before you knew it he was holding your wrist and stopping you from walking even an inch further.
“why won’t you just leave me alone”, you frustratingly said.
he turned you around and pulled you close to him. he bent over you and was almost touching his forehead with yours. “you know why”, he whispered. “because of this.”
he crashed his lips against yours and there was absolutely nothing soft about it. it was rough and messy, yet passionate. it made you feel hot inside, not the fuzzy and warm type of hot, but a burning sensation you felt all over your body. it was as if he was lighting you on fire. 
but it felt good.
so good, that you forgot about why you were even mad, but the furiousness lingered and made the tension even bigger. you let him devour every piece of you and you didn’t care about the bite marks he’d leave on your lips. lips moving open mouthed and tongues dancing together. you were feeling almost every part of him and he’d groan in between, sending shivers down your spine.
when the both of you parted he looked in your eyes, as if he was staring through your soul. you were searching his face, waiting for a sign that he’d speak.
but instead he kissed you again. but this time softer, warmer. the one that made you feel fuzzy and warm inside. something you never knew he was capable of doing. he was still holding your wrist with one hand and the other made its way to your back. he pulled you closer, slowly and softly. he’d kiss you ever so gently that it felt like he had become a totally different person than only a few seconds ago. but you were not complaining at all. 
he slowly parted away from you and when you looked at him you saw his red cheeks and closed eyes. and when he slowly opened them you could see a version of dabi which you’d never seen before. that soft look no one had ever seen, all the hatred and anger you were feeling a few minutes ago all gone, overshadowed by the soft look he was giving.
“I thought you hated me”, he teased, caressing your cheeks while giving you a soft smile.
“things change...”, you muttered.
“you’re cute when you don’t want to admit things aloud, you know. Go on, just say that you like me”, he said while stopping his movements on your cheeks and making sure you were looking at him and only him.
you should have seen it coming. him making you feel this way. you always said your personalities clashed, but they clashed so much, that you actually overlooked just how fitting they actually were. the polar opposites, yet the same. you weren’t completely sure how to describe it, but it was something you had never experienced before. it could be a challenge coming up your way, but you figured it was something worth battling for. 
because after all, there was only a thin line between the hate and love you felt for each other.
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mythiccheroacademia · 4 years
Text
Attitude
A/N: Lord knows I got a nasty attitude when I get in my feelings. I swear I’m working on it 😭 Anyways, when my past entanglments used to (respectfully) put me in my place, it had me feelings some things 🥴 so I’m translating that into headcanons. Hopefully this will get me out of my little writer’s block. Hope y’all enjoy ❤️
Warnings: cursing, implied sexual activity
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Todoroki Natsuo:
natsuo is generally an easy-going person so it takes a lot to get him riled up 
when you get an attitude, it doesnt really bother him bc he can understand where you’re coming from
but dont get too disrespectful bc he’ll remind you who you’re talking to
like when you do poorly on an exam and it just ruins your mood
you don’t feel like talking to anybody so you ignore his text when he asks you to meet up for lunch 
he’ll assume you didnt see it or youre napping 
but then he spots you on campus and goes to hug you 
he notices you’re stiff in his arms but doesnt think much of it 
“did you see my text?” he asks 
“yea, sorry. i forgot to respond.”
that makes him give you a side eye bc that’s what you usually say to people when you just didnt want to answer their text 
“it’s okay if you had other things to do. you just had to tell me—“
“i said i forgot, okay? sorry!”
his head kind jerks back in surprise but he drops it
he’s a todoroki, so instead of giving you space, the dense™️ gene activates and he’s all up in your business 
even though he’s only being a good bf and trying to cheer you up, you’re annoyed af 
texts you throughout the rest of your day about how you’re doing even though you respond with two word sentences
shows up to your dorm and you only let him in bc you feel bad
and he brought food
but now you’re regretting it bc he’s just yip yapping away and his cheery attitude is pissing you off 
fed up, natuso finally confronts you after you snap at him one too many times
“what’s with the attitude, y/n”
“i don’t have one” (okay miss girl)
“well you’ve been acting like you have one all day”
you smacked your teeth and got up “i don’t care natsuo. if you think i do then you can just—“
“y/n”
natsuo barks your name in a way that makes you turn your head
he grabs your arm and firmly tugs you back on the couch so you’re face to face with his frown 
“now i dont know who you’re mad at, but i know it ain’t me. so you can either sit here and have a conversation with me like an adult or i can leave bc i don’t need the attitude”
you: 😮
you keep up an annoyed faaçade but inside youre melting  
who knew natsuo could be so assertive? 
like damn, okay daddy
you apologize and telling him what’s got you so sour 
once you seem relaxed, he goes back to his usual self and y’all end up cuddling until his hands start roaming your body 
next thing you know, youre making great use of the couch 
needless to say, you were back to your normal self the next morning LMAO
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Shigaraki Tomura:
shigaraki is not the one 
he might have his moments, but ever since he grew into his role, he expects everyone else to do the same 
he lets his friends and loved ones get away with a lot of shit so he doesnt think it’s hard to give him some respect
and usually, it isn’t
but ever since he woke up, he’s been practically ignoring you
you got one kiss and a “missed you” and he kept it pushing
like bitch, wtf?
you know you were being selfish and petty but you went three whole months without dick your man and for him to pretty much ignore you bc he was “busy with his responsibilities” was making you feel some type of way
king of the underworld or not, you weren’t gonna take this laying down 
for the next few days you were ms/r. petty 😌 
every time he tried to greet you, you’d just nod your head and keep walking 
he’d try to kiss you and you’d turn your head so his lips would land on your cheek instead
if you came back late, he’d ask you where you were, just to try and make conversation, and you’d just say “out”
shiggy is confused atp and it’s pissing him off
he didnt have the time to ask you about it before it got bad
there’s a meeting with the higher-ups, talking about the next game plan and you walk in about five min late bc you were held up with a previous responsibility
shigaraki happily regards you
“y/n, good. we wanted to wait for you before we started.”
“oh that’s suprising. didn’t think you’d notice my absense. sorry for the hold up,” you bite before sitting down with a huff
everyone: 😦
you: 🙃
shigaraki: 🤨
the people in the room are sweating bc now that shigaraki was thicc™️ and highkey indestructible, he was actually really scary now
even though you were his respected s/o, no one knew how he’d react 
surpringly, he ignores your attitude and starts the meeting; so everyone forgets about it
the meeting goes on and whiles someone else is talking, you notice your bf shuffle his chair closer to yours 
you give him a side eye “what do you--”
shigaraki grabs the side of your neck in a firm grip and pushes your ear against his lips
“i don’t know what’s up with you, but watch it, sweetheart” he whispers before he goes back to listening like nothing happened
you: well call me scared and horny!
when the meeting ends, it’s just the two of you and he eventually figures out why you’re being like this
he gives you a smirk and calls you a spoiled brat before laying you across the table and apologizing to you in the best way he knows how   
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Dabi: 
lmaooo funny how you think this man gives a fuck
you’re really beefin with yourself bc he don’t got enough energy to deal with the pettiness 
if you act way out of line though, don’t put it beneath him to retaliate
you give him nice, he’ll treat you sweeter 
but you give him bitch, he’ll give you bitch back tenfold
it’s the same for you
you’re just as jelaous and stuborn as he is
you’re perfect for each other but still a lil toxic in a good way 💀   
one time, you dragged him to go grocery shopping with you (he really hates how much he likes you lmao) 
whiles you were a ways away getting something, a woman came up to him and started flirting with him
*spidey senses activated*
you watch from afar, expecting him to immediately turn her down but he “plays nice” and you can see him gobble up the attention
it’s not until she asks for his number that he points to you and she genuinely apologizes before taking her leave
dabi acts all surprised when you throw a soup can in the cart and stalk off 
“you good bro?” he asks
“i’m great and i’m not your bro” you say, but there’s a clear attitude in your voice 
you couldnt even hide it on your face
he’s mad confused, but dabi doesn’t push it bc he doesn’t time for all that
“okay, be mad by yourself lol”
you weren’t even that mad but now since he wants to be funny, it’s game over 
“and you go fuck your other bitches”
he literally turns into that nick canon meme
dabi’s head is spinning 
bc wtf are you even talking about, my guy?
“yooo, i dont know who you talking to but i know it’s not me”
“who tf else is here, dumbass?”
now you got him heated and he’s this close to just walking up out the store 
but he thinks youre hot when you’re being crazy so he stays
he grabs your wrist to stop you “you’re doing a lot”
you snatch it out his hand, “and you didn’t do enough when that woman came up to you and started putting moves on you!”
ahh, so that’s why you’re angry
dabi’s anger fades and now he’s chuckling
“oh so you think this is funny? i’m not gonna stand here and be disrepsted by no man looking like a fucking burnt piece of charcoal--”
he pulls you into his arms and smothers your rant in a kiss that makes you see stars 
you’re lucky the aisle is empty bc you spend the next ten seconds with his tongue down your throat 
when he pulls back, he smirks at your speechlessness 
“well this burnt piece of charcoal is your man. no one else’s. and don’t forget it, doll-face”
he smacks your ass and walks away leaving you nearly skipping behind him
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shadyteacup · 3 years
Note
Hi I recently started reading your work and I absolutely love it! Could I please request a chuuya x reader with him comforting his s/o after going threw a hard time bc her school friend of so many years has been treating her so bad to the point where she breaks the friendship up between them and she's just really sad bc of it? I've been going threw a few hard times with mines and I suffer from so many problems mostly mental some physical. This just feels good to yet it off my chest! Sorry if this request is too extreme...
Hey love! I want you to know that you deserve love, and don't deserve to have such toxic people in your life.. your mental an physical health comes first. Pls cut off such toxic people from your life, you deserve happiness!
Nakahara Chuuya x fem! Reader
Warnings: strong language, degradation, self doubt.. angst at first then comfort.
Word count: 1216
My Brave Warrior
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"What do you mean?"
You asked, placing your mug of coffee on the table. You were invited to a reunion party, and all your school friends were going to attend. You were excited for it. Chhuya had bought you a pretty dress, one that he said made you look gorgeous. You had recently gotten in touch with your best friend from school. After graduating, you both had lost touch. Reconnecting with her felt so nice. She seemed much different than what you remembered her to be, but she was still your friend.
"You know what I mean. Look, I'm your closest friend. I have been since school. You gotta trust me on this, that outfit looks trash on you. Besides, it's not even your color. That color looks much prettier on me, considering my skintone and figure."
You both were planning what to wear to the party. She was trying to dissuade you from wearing the dress. Her words hurt you more than you'd like to admit. But that's what friends do, right? Friends give you an honest opinion and help you make the right decision, right? Then why are you feeling hurt?
You sigh, tears forming in your eyes.
"What's wrong with my skintone? Besides, our skintones are almost the same."
She didn't miss a moment to reply.
"Then it's your body shape. It's too bulgy and too flat at all the wrong places. Mine's perfect for that dress, since it really accentuates my curves."
"You haven't even worn it yet! Besides, it's my dress."
Was the dress really bad for you? But Chuuya seemed to like the way it looked on you.
"So? We're best friends. What's yours is equally mine! Besides, I don't even need to try it on to know that it'll suit me. The color's gorgeous and goes well with my eyes."
You try to keep your tears in. Was your body really not perfect? Is that dress too good for you?
"Then how about you lend me your pearl dress. That way we both would have something pretty to wear."
You suggested. The pearl dress your friend owns might suit you. It even matches your aesthetic.
"No, love. It's just.. it'll look too much on you, you know? Like, it suits me so well. I don't about you."
Why was she being such a bitch to you? She had been degrading you ever since you two got in touch again. Why does she hate you so much?
"I think it'll suit me."
"No, it won't, sweetheart. Trust me."
You exhaled with your mouth, trying to keep your tears in.
"Why are you doing this?"
You ask, your voice trembling.
"To make you look good for the party, duh! I don't want you to wear something out of your league and make a fool of yourself."
You clenched your fists.
"I mean, why are you being so mean? I think that dress looks very good on me. The color suits me, and my figure is perfect for it. Your pearl dress suits me too."
"Are you dumb? What do you think I've been screaming for the past hour?! You don't look good in that dress! Give it to me to wear!"
You were taken aback by the bitterness in her tone. Does she even care about you? Or is this all about the bloody dress?
"No! My boyfriend gifted it to me, and he thinks I look good in it. There's no way I'm going to give it to you! You don't even care about me! All you care about is getting your hands on that dress!"
She chuckled bitterly.
"Why are you being such a bitch?! It doesn't suit you! And yeah, maybe I do want that dress for myself. So what?! I know it'll look fabulous on me! If you wear it, you'll destroy the whole vibe of it!"
That's when it clicked. She wasn't your friend at all. She was just someone you used to know. This person on the phone is a selfish individual who doesn't give two fucks about you.
" You know what, I'm done."
You say, your tone low and dangerous.
"Excuse me? What do you mean?"
"I mean we're done. Over. This thing we had, this friendship or whatever, it's over."
She scoffed.
"Oh my God, why are you like this?! I'm just trying to help you! Don't you understand that?!"
"Shut the fuck up. And goodbye."
You cut the call and slam your phone on the table. Sobs forced their way out of you as you held your face in your palms, leaning against the table. You hadn't expected her to be like this. You both were so close as teenagers! You used to practically live at each other's houses. You both shared so many memories and secrets. You had just ended a deep friendship. But then again, maybe it had ended a long time ago. What you ended right now was a toxic relationship, one that would've drained you further.
But what if she really was trying to help? Did you make a mistake? Should you call her and apologize?
No. She was being mean to you. She deserved it.
Right?
You didn't hear Chuuya when he came into the room, and only felt his presence when he hugged you from behind.
"Chuu... I-"
He kissed your hair, hugging you tighter.
"Shh, I know. I heard it all."
He turned you around to hug you properly. You snuggled into him, sniffing against his chest.
He threaded his fingers through your hair, soothing you.
"Before you start doubting yourself, I want you to know that what you did was right. You got rid of a toxic person. That's an amazing decision."
"But what if she was actually trying to help me?"
Chuuya chuckled.
"I only heard one side of the conversation, but it was enough for me to guess that the person on the other end is a menace."
He tilted your face to lock eyes with you, and cupped your cheek.
"You are beautiful. Everything about you is perfect. That dress looks ethereal on you. Nobody could carry it as elegantly as you do."
He pecked your nose.
"I love you. People around you love you too. You are worth all that love, and you deserve to have good hearted souls around you. You don't deserve such toxic relationships. What you did was brave, and I'm so proud of you. Cutting off someone that isn't good for you may seem like the obvious choice, but it's a really hard step to take."
He smiled at you.
"And you did that. You were brave and you did what was necessary for your own mental health. I love you for being so brave."
He leaned down to press his forehead against yours.
"You are my brave warrior, and no one, not even you, can say otherwise. Stop thinking back on your decision, because it was the right thing to do."
You looked at him in awe. You hadn't even explained what you were feeling to him, and yet he understood you perfectly. He had just answered all your doubts and insecurities. He was an angel. You were so glad to have him.
"I love you, chuuya."
He kissed you.
"I love you too, muffin."
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130 notes · View notes
Note
Prompt : they are both famous and secretly dating.
tbh I don't know what this is or if it makes any sense at all, so sorry anon for butchering ur prompt, but I'm a basic bitch and I like my drake, so like this is gonna be pain bcuz my favourite song on the new album is just pain and I can't stop thinking about a fucked up celebs relationship to it, just ANGST AND PAIN!! 😭😭 but those lyrics hit, can't believe I wrote a song fic ugh circa Tumblr 2015 jfc I'mma write a happier ending to this in another prompt 😂 bc someone else asked for the same thing.
Fucking Fans
I'm still working on me
Eren stands at the Met Gala, holding Mikasa by the waist, giving a cramped smile for photos and keeping her close. People call their names and cameras flash and his beloved blinks, hiding her face into his shoulder as the lights overwhelm her.
He looks down at her lovingly as some jackass reporter yells about a cheating rumour and her pretty face pinches up. Eren is quick to comfort her with his touch, both hands gripping her waist reassuringly as he decides it's time for them to go inside.
"Come on Miki," he kisses her forehead and she nods, accepting. Neither of them wants to think about those rumours, the damage and the pain they bring up is too much and it's all his fault, he knows, but he can't undo it.
The guilt eats at him and she holds his hand tighter, the despair takes him and she cuddles him at night.
They're together now but sometimes Eren wonders just how it happened, how he came back from falling so far. How she took him back when he fucked up so massively.
And I'm coming back better for you
The day he shows up on her door step again is the day of the biggest awards show of the season, the one he knows she's going to kill and probably sweep several categories. Just because she's that amazing. He finds her where he expects, in her apartment, the address Armin gave him, doing her own hair and makeup, humble Mikasa just like always, ironing out her own dress. He shows up in a suit with as many white roses as he can fit into a bouquet and ready to leave if she still hates him, which she has every right to.
But he's been through months of therapy, gave Armin control of his bank account, and check himself into rehab thrice, every time he was even inching closer to relapse.
He's not fixed, but he's better, marginally, and he wants her to know it, know he still loves her at the very least.
She opens the door, beautiful even without makeup, and wearing a white slip and her pretty red mouth parts in shock.
All he can do is hold out his roses as tears leave his eyes at seeing her for the first time in months.
Most times it was my selfishness and your helplessness that I took advantage of
It was so easy with Mikasa, she was so devoted to him. So loving and sweet, always there for him.
She'd wait up, let him do what he wanted, never wanting to stifle or control him. Too afraid their tenuous relationship would crack and they'd break up.
A part of him blames her for it, for being so willing to let him do what he wanted. She'd been passive, unsure how to insert herself, had minimal complaints, letting him ruin his life party by party, late night after late night, drugs and alcohol all of it.
But he knows he can never hold her accountable for his own actions, and the day she's finally done with his bullshit is both the best and worst day of his life. She finally says no, and it begins his path to fixing himself. Because hitting rock bottom is losing the most important thing in his life, and that's Mikasa.
You sit in the house and I be out and I know you're worried, up
The problem with her passivity is he knows it's not passivity at all, she just doesn't know what to do, how to fix him. Eren has always had a temper, and she's known him for a long time, knows he'll lash out and behave worse if provoked. So she'd reacted as best she could, leaving rehab pamphlets out, asking him to stay in and watch movies, bake with her, anything other than going out to party.
But he'd stumble home every night and see her asleep on the couch, waiting. Always there to pick him up instead of a cab, not wanting the paparazzi to get a hold of him, she was always there.
And you try and block it out
They lived in a bubble, they pretended it didn't happen. They didn't acknowledge when he was too hungover to shoot the next morning. She'd brew him coffee, get him through the day, flush his drug stash when they checked, both his saving grace and biggest enabler.
Even when he's kissing her for more than just an on-screen kiss, lips drinking her in like a man starved, and the next morning she finds new girls in his bed, she keeps quiet.
They're a mess, but every time she dutifully kicks the girls out and drags him to the shower.
I'm so sorry for letting you down
When he'd first become famous, he hadn't known what to do with himself. He'd been scouted for how many movies, tv-shows, underwear commercials, brand deals. It was a whirlwind as Hollywood found their new boy wonder, handsome, smart and a nice boy.
His best friend, and female love interest in their debut movie, Mikasa, who had followed him to Hollywood on nothing more than a whim, was equally bombarded with fame and fortune. They'd always been close, always best friends, but never quite more, no matter how much they both obviously wanted it. It never progressed beyond a few acted kisses.
Still, they got an apartment together, and Eren had thought it was the start of something great, he was living the dream. Rich and famous with his best friend, the girl he'd secretly loved since he was young.
He'd been content just to stay up late and watch movies with her before work, to visit her on set and bring her donuts. They were Hollywood's shining stars, two kids sickeningly sweet in love even though they weren't officially dating, they were as good as.
At the advice of his agent, he'd started doing more, started picking up a few other gigs on the side, modelling, but he kept it small, he didn't want to overwhelm himself, and he still wanted time for Mikasa.
It had gone well, they'd taken fame okay, and Eren had been proud, neither of them had a sex-scandal or a pregnancy scare yet. They'd even been inching towards finally being something more than just friends, a few heated looks, some on-stage kisses to finally get the ball rolling.
Then Mikasa had been cast in an upcoming romance movie and her love interest hadn't been Eren, it had been Jean.
That had been the start of his spiral.
He'd never meant for it to get so far out of control, how many movies he started doing, how many promotions. Meanwhile Mikasa, smart, brilliant Mikasa stuck with smaller projects and only ever one at a time, preferring to keep close to their apartment. He was all she had, and she was all he wanted.
Nights when I just needed to hold somebody
He misses her, lays in bed awake at night thinking about her, how long it’s been, when was the last time he saw the curve of her face in person and not in a washed-out picture on a magazine. Girls in and out of his apartment, trying to fill the empty void inside him, and nothing works, nothing ever works. Because he’d fucked it up, said he didn’t need her, told her he could do it on his own, fame wouldn’t take him. Called each other names, every one in the book, screaming matches over stupid shit, if he should take that job, what she was doing with Jean, how she was eating, if she was eating enough.
The toxicity was palpable in their apartment until finally Mikasa just left and he broke.
Feeling overwhelmed, should've told somebody
Fame takes him like a drug addiction, actually it comes with a drug addiction, heroine, cocaine, molly, all of it. In trying to ditch his Hollywood’s sweetheart, good boy image he diverts his life so radically he doesn’t know if he can ever get back to where he was. He loses weight, barely gets by, he doesn’t even understand how he’s still getting booked, but people want him even more now that he’s Hollywood’s bad boy. Meanwhile Mikasa is disgraced now that he’s ‘thrown her away’ even though it was the other way around. Last he heard she lived in a little apartment on the upper east side, leaves only to work, and to fly up to see their families. He hasn’t seen his parents in months, doesn’t want to. Doesn’t want to see the look in their eyes when they realize how skinny he’s gotten, how his body lacks muscle, skin barely clinging to bone, gaunt and lifeless.
He needs help, but he’s spiraling, he’s committed and no matter how many times Armin tries to get him into rehab, he never goes. What’s the point Mikasa is gone, he’s not getting her back, all he has now is the money, the drugs, and the women.
Picturin' it's me sending chills through your body
He hears she’s dating Jean now and somehow, he gets worse.
Every fear he’d ever had comes to life and he gets angry, his temper coming back full force. The past few months he’d barely been getting by, not really living, but his rage awakens him. She’d told him no, that they weren’t dating, never so much as kissed outside of work. What a fucking lie.
How many girls he takes home that month he doesn’t know, how many paparazzi photos of women leaving his apartment, how he dreams it’s Mikasa under him, not some rando.
He sees her on the cover of some magazine, walking innocently with Jean and it sends him into even more of a rage, but under it all he wishes it was him, doesn’t matter that they were never official, that it only happened a few times, he wants her back. But Eren’s never been good at navigating his emotions, so he clings to his rage like a lifeline.
I just probably should've chilled 'til I saw you
When they ask about her in interviews, he doesn’t answer. Not until that once, when he lets it slip and he watches Armin wilt in real time from behind the camera as he spits the words, “I think it’s obvious, she’s with Jean now isn’t she, right after she was with me, figure it out yourself.”
The insinuation is lethal, cruel, mean and he knows it’s not true, but he says it anyway. He knows she didn't do it, but still the coincidence hurts too much, the very thought that there might have been something romantic going on with them before makes him want to throw up.
The interviewer looks shocked before he brightens up at the tidbit of information, like a vulture picking apart the last pieces of his heart, massacring it further, but Eren doesn’t mind the pain anymore. It fuels his rage and that’s all he has these days.
How am I supposed to get to know somebody?
When the rage wears off months later and Mikasa has done nothing, no comment on his interviews, no appearances, no angry texts, just silence, he becomes numb. Then the sadness sets in, because losing her romantically isn’t even the worst part, he doesn’t even have his best friend anymore, he’s lost her too.
She’s become a recluse, a hermit, he hasn’t even seen her with Jean on the magazine covers lately. Distantly he knows it’s because their movie is finished filming, and she was probably never dating him in the first place.
He goes to awards shows in hopes of at least catching a glimpse but she’s gone into hiding, there’s rumours she’s back in their hometown, but he’d never visit, not with the disgrace he’s become. He tries to date seriously, tries to talk to other actresses, but it’s all so vacant, disingenuous. All they want him for is his image, there’s nothing real about these women anymore, everything is fake, plastic right down to their boobs. Nothing like Mikasa, who was pure to her core, even in the face of her fame.
If we broke it off then you know it wasn't painless
He'd cried for weeks after she'd ended it, despite it being entirely his fault.
Armin had cancelled all his engagements and Eren hadn't left the apartment, curling himself up on her empty mattress, her room a barren wasteland.
He'd only eaten when Armin forced him too, and only come out of his hibernation after his mother had called to yell, Armin holding the phone right in his ear, the first time he'd spoken to her in forever.
If she got a watch then you know it's not a stainless
He’s got money, but it means nothing. Mikasa has money too, it doesn’t even matter. What has it all been for? He doesn’t even know anymore. All he’s gotten from his acting career is trust issues, more money than he knows what do with and the loss of his best friend and the only girl he’s ever loved.
It’s all a blur now, he acts, he models, he does PR. Armin makes him a schedule and he follows it. They meet with his nutritionist and his personal trainer, and he starts working out again, eating real food, not just smoking, and drinking coffee to supress his appetite.
Armin is the only reason he’s still a functioning human being as Eren hits rock bottom. The only one left to try and push him out.
I was out here fucking fans, I was shameless
He knows he fucked up, it’s why he starts therapy.
The shit he’d done, high off his own fame and arrogance, it’s messed up and he he knows it now. All the girls, all the money and the drugs, ignoring Mikasa’s concerns, dragging her down with him.
He doesn’t blame her now, he knows none of it was fair, she was justified in leaving. They were toxic, their half on, half off relationship, how he'd commit to the drugs but never her.
He can still remember the first time he kissed her, really kissed her, Eren and Mikasa not two characters on screen. It was after their first awards show for their movie, he’d been so excited, so delightfully sober, he couldn’t help himself, she’d been so pretty in her white dress, he’d leaned down before he could stop himself. The first night they’d had sex, her moans, her soft cries of pleasure, nothing had ever measured up since.
It had been bliss, for about a month or so and then they’d really been discovered, and it had all been shot to hell.
All the fans, all the women throwing themselves at him, his eyes couldn’t help but wander despite Mikasa always being the most radiant in the room. He had her love, he’d had everything, but that insidious voice in the back of his head had wondered. Thought the grass was greener on the other side, wanting to explore fame at the same time they’d finally started their relationship.
You was at the crib reading stories that they sent you
They’d kept it casual at Eren’s insistence and Mikasa’s heartbreak, his rock had been willing to allow it for him, for the chance to finally explore their relationship. But he could see how much it hurt her, the tabloids were the worst part, every day a new cover, another apartment he’d leave, another hookup in the parking lot. And he could barely justify it to himself, why he did it, why he continued to do it? He had everything he could ever want in Mikasa, the girl he’d loved since forever, finally in the palm of his hand, willing to give herself wholly to him.
And yet fame had called him more, and the people he was hanging out with only encouraged it, the famous lifestyle, drugs, sex and rock and roll.
Everyone was doing it, so why shouldn’t he?
Most of that was bullshit but some of it I did do
The rumours spiralled out of control after a while, there was nothing he could do, it was over, they had too much on him.
He'd been telling himself lies that maybe she was with Jean on the side, that she had the same opportunities as him, she could go out and sleep around too.
As if Mikasa would ever even consider it.
He’d finally given into being exclusive, seeing the toll it was taking on Mikasa, after Armin smacked him upside the head and told him he was going to lose her if he didn’t get his shit together. Eren had finally realized how irreversibly he was fucking up his relationship, but by then, it had been too late.
When they finally started truly dating, monogamy and all, it had been far, far too late. The backlog of photos the paparazzi had was ridiculous, any opportunity they got to demonize him they took.
He and Mikasa been casual at the time of all the photos, sure, but anyone would buckle under the weight of constant articles about their significant other cheating. Eren became the villain in his own story, and Hollywood loved it, ‘Bad Boy Eren Yeager Ditches Mikasa Ackerman’. He still remembers the headline, it was the straw that broke the camel’s back, she’d come home, dropped the offending magazine on the coffee table and hidden in her room for the rest of the night. He’d slept outside her door, and the next morning he’d been woken by her stepping over him to leave, bags packed.
It was sad, they’d never even officially dated to the public, they hadn’t gotten to that point. She’d wanted to reveal it at some awards show by taking him as her date, thanking him in her speech, her boyfriend, Eren Yeager. Overnight the paparazzi had singlehandedly broken them up for shit he hadn’t even done.
He had no one but himself to blame.
Hard for me to justify the women I was into
Looking back, he can’t say why he did it or what the purpose of all the models that looked eerily like her were for. Maybe he was trying to fill the empty space in his heart, maybe he felt neglected by her friendship with Jean and how obvious the man’s feeling for her were, but for one reason or another, he’d slept his way through about half of the Victoria’s Secret fashion show, and award shows were awkward these days. Meeting the eyes of all the talented women he’d hooked up with in such a professional setting was uncomfortable at best.
How many more did he not even remember, to high off drugs and alcohol and his own ego?
Especially when the whole entire world wished they had you
He’d seen it in how Jean looked at her the first time they’d walked the red carpet as promotion for their movie. The tall man was a b-list actor and he’d been invited to the pre-screening, and he’d watched Mikasa the entire night. His gaze wasn’t moved by Eren’s arm wrapped protectively around her waist or his chin resting on her head, nor the possessive hand on her thigh.
They hadn’t even been fooling around back then, but he couldn’t help himself, he didn’t want Jean’s eyes on her. She was also Mikasa Ackerman, and the whole world thought she was just as beautiful and amazing and perfect as he did.
But she was his. His best friend, love of his life, his everything
If only he’d treated her like it.
Probably made you want to hit the streets on everything
She doesn't take him to the awards show the night he comes begging, but she lets him inside her apartment. Lets him help her with her hair, something he's sorely missed. Something he's familiar with, been braiding her hair since they were kids.
He helps her put it up into a beautiful twist.
And when Jean knocks at her door to take her to the awards show he lets her go, kisses her cheek and tells her how much he loves her, how she's going to win it all and he'll be waiting her when she gets back.
And then she leaves, walks away with another man and Eren thinks he deserves it, it's his penance, how many times has she felt this same way, how many women has he been through?
Probably made you want to pour bleach on everything
He discovers not a single remnant of himself in her apartment, no pictures, no clothes she's borrowed. Even his old sweatshirt, her favourite one is gone. Hell, even their award for best-onscreen-kiss is gone.
He finds it all in a crumpled box under her bed and it's his own fault for snooping, their photo crumpled up and misshapen, riddled with water damage. Probably from her tears if he had to guess.
Probably made you want to kill me on everything
She comes home that night and Eren is surprised, he'd expected her to go to Jean's. Hadn't really believed she was going to come back. Had resigned himself to sleeping on the couch and waiting till tomorrow when she'd come home dishevelled and covered in hickeys and bruises, the kind good sex gives you. The kind he'd never really allowed himself to give her.
That's when she'd really broken and he'd been so fucking happy when she'd thrown her purse at him. No more of her her silent rage, her forced smiles. She'd kicked and screamed, cried in his arms only to hit him brutally with a pillow, chasing him to the end of the couch. Hands restraining his wrists, as she curses him out, tears running down her beautiful cheeks sparkling in the moonlight, she's a vengeful goddess and he deserves every second of her wrath.
She collapses on top of him in a heap of sobs and all he can do is hold her, hating himself just as much as he's sure she does.
Yeah, trust, I know that
He wakes the next morning with her weight in his arms, and he holds her like he never wants to let go.
He's lucky she's even here with him right now, that she didn't kick him out on the spot. That she even cares enough to still fight with him. He kisses her forehead softly, he knows.
Yeah I kinda hate this but whatever have angst 🤷🏻‍♀️
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iamanartichoke · 3 years
Note
Why would Loki believe what Mobius tells or shows him? Frigga's death-film could be faked, Loki's responsibility for it might false, saying he always fails and causes death etc. ... where's the proof? Yes, the segments were selected to manipulate his emotions and align him with the TVA, and there's self-loathing, but he's also supposed to be smart and familiar with how lies work. Maybe he's playing along to escape and do what every Loki who ever existed and created a variant did: what he wants.
[please blacklist spoiler tags: #loki tv series spoilers, #loki series spoilers, #loki spoilers]
Well, here's the thing.
(under the cut for spoilers + length)
Objectively, I agree with you - that is, I fully recognize and agree with the characterization of Loki being intelligent and also manipulative (and therefore more than familiar with the art of lying), and I agree that it would be really, really hard to manipulate Loki without him realizing what you're doing and figuring out how to counter it and manipulate you in return (and you won't figure it out as quickly).
However. I don't think Loki is impossible to manipulate, or that his intelligence and innate capacity to lie (often and well) mean that he's immune to falling prey to someone else's schemes, when those schemes are rooted in/relying on all of the rawest vulnerabilities that Loki, as a person, possesses.
Loki's tragic flaw (or one of them, in my opinion) is that his emotions can and often do get the better of him because they are the result of how thoroughly and bone-deeply he hates himself. In Thor 2011, for example, Loki's initial plan evolves from trying to delay Thor's coronation into trying to simultaneously destroy Asgard's greatest enemy (and, presumably, destroy the monster within himself) and trying to prove his worth as a prince and a son to Odin. Were his plan to succeed, the only thing he would ultimately gain is validation that he has equal value to Thor. (Certainly he knows that Odin will wake up and Thor will eventually return; like, there are no long-term goals for keeping the throne here.)
Point being, everything he's orchestrating becomes motivated by emotion over logic and, ultimately, he doesn't really lose so much as he gives up because Odin rejects his plan - and, therefore, rejects Loki - and it hurts him so badly that he attempts to kill himself. He literally can't live with the pain it causes him.
So, I mean, we already know that Loki is deeply emotional and immensely insecure. We know that he's felt inferior and out of place his entire life, only to have those feelings validated by the revelation of his being Jotun and the rejection of his effort to prove himself as worthy as Thor.
We also know that a literally suicidal Loki ended up going through an extremely traumatic experience with Thanos and, furthermore, he has now failed pretty majorly in "taking over" Earth. Loki's in bad mental shape and, I mean, there's his proof right there that Mobius is right and that he always fails and causes death. He failed in Thor 2011 (and caused death). He failed in Avengers (and caused death). He believes himself to be worthless, deserving of rejection; he is emotionally unstable and has untapped reservoirs of pain under the surface.
He is, in other words, in an absolutely ideal place to be manipulated by Mobius. He doesn't seem to believe what Mobius tells or shows him at first - asking where Frigga is being kept, not believing the events that haven't happened to him yet, arguing back against every point Mobius makes, etc. But, as the scene wears on, you can tell he's becoming less and less sure that it's a falsity and more and more uncomfortable and upset because Mobius is unrelentingly digging at everything Loki's ever feared about himself.
That's the state Loki's in when Mobius selectively shows him the most painful scenes from his future.
Not to diagnose Loki, bc I am not qualified to do so, but to project a little bit - as an emotionally unstable person myself, who has struggled with mental health for as long as I can remember, I can very easily see how Loki would believe Mobius at that point.
It's like, imagine that you have all of these fears about yourself and they color the lens through which you view the world. I mean, Loki's experiences have definitely contributed to his poor self worth, and his family and culture have fucked him up - no imagined slights here - but when you hate yourself enough, it can alter how you perceive every little thing.
You may blame yourself a little harder for things that aren't your fault. You may too quickly assume that someone else thinks the worst of you when they may not think anything in particular about you at all. You may feel completely and utterly alone and hopeless about that ever changing because why would anyone want ever want to love someone as worthless as you?
Now imagine you've done some really bad things and, deep down, you feel guilty about them. You didn't enjoy doing them, but you did enjoy how powerful they made you feel, and that makes you a bad person, too. You weren't even wanted as a baby, for fuck's sake; you were literally abandoned for no discernable reason besides possibly being a runt, aka being born wrong.
These are all things you feel, and then here comes this person who is showing you events that have happened that he shouldn't know about, he's telling you information about yourself that he shouldn't have, he's showing you that he's got the resources to figure you and your life out and then he tells you to your face - while showing you even more failure and death in your future - oh hey, everything that you fear and everything that you feel? Yeah, that's all valid. You are irredeemable. You are responsible for death and destruction. You are unwanted, both by your family and by existence itself. You're only here so that others can have someone to stand on while they climb to the top. You killed your own mother because you're so selfish and vengeful! God, how do you even live with yourself, you destructive waste of space?
I mean, again, call me biased and paint me as projecting my mental illnesses on Loki but if it were me, no amount of intelligence or experience with lies would be enough to not believe every single word Mobius said about me (and about the situation).
It's certainly possible that Loki is playing along to escape; I mean, we know that he does eventually escape, though whether he gets captured again or not remains to be seen. But I think that, at the conclusion of the episode, Loki has just been broken down enough by everything he went through that day (it was a really rough day for Loki) that he's like, yknow what, just - okay, fine, tell me what I have to do bc I'm all outta options here.
(Actually, to be completely honest, I think there's both going on - Loki is resigned to being stuck with the TVA but also he probably recognizes that, at some point, he's going to get the opportunity to escape and might as well play nice until it comes along.)
So, yeah - I completely buy how that scene went down in regards to Loki believing Mobius.
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jungshookz · 4 years
Note
consider this... so ballet class is done for the day and jimin is rubbing down the bars/wiping the foggy mirrors and y/n sees him and shes like you guys go ahead. then she stays to help him bc he works so hard to be a good teacher BUT THEN WHEN THEY FINISH ITS LIKE AFTER HOURS and they attempt to leave the building but realize that the janitor locked up so they're trapped inside and they're forced to be alone together until the person jimin called for help finally comes. imagine the TENSION 🥺
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➺ pairing; park jimin x reader
➺ genre; balletteacher!jiminiverse!!! mostly cute things happen but also some words r exchanged that make it a little hot n heavy heh 
➺ wordcount: 8k 
➺ what to expect; “what-“ your voice cracks, “-makes you think that, mr. park?”
➺ optional readings: one; two; three
➺ note; i hope u don’t mind but i changed the request a little bit!! there’s still plenty of y/n and jimin cleaning up the classroom but the janitor didn’t make it in as a character :’(( but i douBT you guys care about the janitor anyway because hello it’s jimin and y/n!!! as per usual this drabble spun out of control which is why it’s 8k words long :D also i’m realising that all the parts combined basically add up to one of my regular fics so i guess ballet!jimin could’ve been a fic but enough about thAT i hope this very large drabble pleases the crowd!!! (also i’m sorry i couldn’t find the original source of the gif but i found it off this pinterest page) happy reading!!
                                       »»————- ♡ ————-««
you typically do not condone lying because you believe in the idea that if you tell a lie, that lie will come back sooner or later to bite you in the ass… so it’s always better to tell the truth!
honesty is the best policy, after all  
with that being said you aRe human at the end of the day and you can make exceptions at times when it comes to telling the truth
and this would definitely be one of those times
“how come you haven’t packed your stuff up yet, slow-poke?” lisa nudges your back with her duffle bag and you turn around from your locker to see her and a couple of the other girls all packed up and ready to go “and how come you’re still in uniform??”
you pause for a second before offering her a sheepish smile “i… uh…”
here’s what’s happening
you really appreciated that jimin went out of his way to get all of you guys valentine’s day presents because it was just such a sweet surprise and honestly you haven’t been able to stop thinking about how bashful he was when he was handing everyone’s flowers out
and of course you haven’t forgotten the fact that you were the only one who received a lavender rose when everyone else got light pink ones
anyways
you bought him a little gift as a way to return the favour just because you felt kinda bad that he didn’t get anything on valentine’s day
and at first you were going to ask the others if maybe all of you should chip in and get him something nice and expensive but the selfish little monster inside of you convinced you that no, you should keep this a secret and make yourself look like the beST student!!!
and you will admit that you felt a little bad at first about not telling everyone about your idea because it… does kind of make you look like a suck-up (and you hate suck-ups!!!) buT in your defence, if you suggested the idea then everyone would just round back to the whole ‘y/n and mr park sitting on a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g’ teasing nightmare and why the heck would you want to subject yourself to even moRE teasing???
usually after class everyone kind of just goes off on their own after saying goodbye but for some reason, it seems that the girls decided to take their sweet-ass time in leaving this afternoon
you’re not even sure if jimin is in the dang building anymore at this point
“i know we usually walk to the subway together, but-” lisa speaks up again after five whole seconds of you staring at her going uhhhhhh before she gestures behind her “the girls suggested an uber carpool situation and my legs are suPer duper sore so i’m going for that - do you want in?”
“oh, well, thanks for asking- i think i’m… probably just going to take the subway home!” you smile politely as you discreetly shut your locker so that they don’t see the neatly wrapped gift peeking out of your bag
“aw, really?” lisa purses her lips in thought, “since it’s a little late, we can all walk you there and then i guess we’ll call an uber after we say good-“
“no, no!” you snort before flicking your wrist “you guys head off, no need to worry about me. it’s going to take me a while to change out of the unitard and the skirt and the-“
“since when do you change out of your uniform after class? everyone just wears their clothes ovEr their unitards.” jisoo pipes up from behind lisa and you swallow thickly before letting out a chuckle and scratching the back of your neck
that is true
everyone usually just puts on sweatpants and a hoodie after class
no one ever changes into another outfit!!!!
you can feel heat beginning to travel up the back of your neck
you’ve never been good at lying!!!!! and now you’re getting nervouS!! and when you get nervous you become even worse at lying!!!!!!
“are you feeling okay?? you look a little flushed-” ailee’s brows furrow together in confusion and you rub your clammy palms on the back of your cardigan
o god
what do you say now???
oOH tell them you had a bad tuna sandwich for lunch and that you need some alone time with the toilet
…ok no that’s a little nasty aNd very too-much-information
what about if you tell them you applied for a job here as an after-hours janitor and that you need to start getting ready for that and then when they ask you why you got a job here you can tell them that you’ve been having financial struggles and as a young woman living alone in a big city you’re just trying to make ends meet but it’s been really hard and you can barely pay for these classes and every night you have to beg on the streets for dinner-
yeah thAt one’s a little melodramatic and straight up not true so that probably isn’t going to work either
“helloooo?? what’s the holdup, people??” seulgi yells out from the entrance of the changing room
“-my period just came and it’s going to take me a while to strip off and do my business!” you blurt out and a couple of the girls back up a little because of how louDLy you announced that
“oh! alright, that makes sense?” lisa snorts before shaking her head “i totally get the struggle. do you… need a tampon or anything?”
“nope! i, uh, i’m all good. thank you, though.” you clear your throat and offer her a smile “but seriously, you guys go ahead and i’ll see you next week!”
you smile and wave as the last of the girls file out of the changing room before letting out a breath of relief
you appreciated them offering to walk you to the subway and all that but damN they were starting to get a little annoying!!
“okay… it’s not a big deal…” the present in your bag feels like it’s weighing you down as you make your way down the hallway back to the classroom  
for some reason it feels like you’re walking to your execution
it’s not a big deal!
it’s just a present for your teacher and that is noT a big deal
it’s a nice gesture and you’re doing this because you’re a nice person
…okay but if u think about it it is kind of a big deal because the person you’re giving this present to is park jimin and you don’t want him to think that you’re harbouring a little crush on him because a student crushing on her teacher is not only cliché but also kind of!!! pathetic!!!!!!
and if he knew that you had a crush on him he’d probably end up giving you a whole speech on being professional and respecting student-teacher relationship boundaries which is honestly very pitiful aND embarrassing and you’d much rather avoid that whole fiasco
hm
ok then maybe you should rethink this whole gift-giving thing
you can express your gratitude in other ways!
do you still have the receipt?
it’s probably crumpled up at the bottom of your bag  
you wonder to yourself if the store is still open right now and if you have time to return the-
“y/n?” you stumble backwards a little in surprise when the door suddenly swings open and jimin’s brows knit together curiously “what are you still doing here? was there something you wanted to talk about?”
oh there are pLenty of things you’d like to talk about with jimin
like the meaning behind the lavender rose he gave you and if he knows that it means what it means
“well, uh, i didn’t have something to talk about, necessarily…” you clear your throat as you follow him into the classroom “but i-“
“you know what, i’m actually glad you stayed behind.” jimin whips around and your eyes widen a bit
what’s that supposed to mean??
“you are?” you whisper faintly and jimin nods before offering you a smile
oh god
this is happening all too fast
a minute ago you were freaking out that jimin probably didn’t feel the same way but here he is now-
“the janitor said that he had to leave early tonight so i told him i’d stay behind after class to clean the classroom myself, but now that you’re here - why don’t you start wiping down the mirrors?” jimin gestures towards the grubby mirrors at the front of the classroom before pointing towards the door “and i’m going to go find the mop and bucket.”  
“oh!” you drop your duffle bag to the ground with a flop when jimin tosses a rag at you “well, mr. park, you see, i actually wanted to-“
“less talking, more cleaning, miss y/l/n…” jimin raises a brow at you before clapping his hands together “chop chop!”
“but i-“ you groan quietly when jimin slips out of the room before turning to look at the foggy mirrors
…okay why are the mirrors so dirty?????
you’re going to have to talk to everyone about maybe not smearing their hands all over the mirrors like animals
also you’re not sure how you’re supposed to give jimin his gifts when he’s given you the responsibility to help clean up the classroom
you didn’t sign up for thiS >:-(
right
so
it’s been about 20 minutes or so since you started cleaning
jimin put some music on so that the two of you wouldn’t be cleaning in awkward silence
he surprised you a little when he asked yoU what you wanted to listen to
(you ended up choosing one of those lofi mix videos on youtube because you felt like that would be a safe option)
(it’s an animal crossing gentle piano mix and it’s very soothing and is actually helping you calm down a little bit)
(“really? animal crossing?” “what?? you said i could choose!”)
you decided to take a break from the mirrors (wiping mirrors was noT as easy as you thought it’d be) so you’ve moved on to wiping down the bars instead
jimin’s on his hands and knees diligently scrubbing away at some shoe marks on the floor
he wore a white button up and slacks to class today which isn’t anything out of the usual except for the fact that now he’s unbuttoned the top couple of buttons and he’s rolled + pushed up the sleeves and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t bothered by it
the chain around his neck seems to wink at you under the lights and almost immediately you wonder what his chain would look like hanging above you
…oh boy
you swallow thickly before scrubbing harder at a smudge on the bar
okay you know what
this is ridiculous
you came here to give him something but here you are doing chores
and it seems that you’ve decided against giving him his gift simply because you are SHY
you’re weak
WEAK!!!!
a weak little wimp, that’s what you are
no offence (but it’s kind of tru)
“hey, mr. park?” you blurt out before you realise and your eyes widen slightly in panic
“yes?” jimin turns to glance at you over his shoulders for a second before returning to his vigorous scrubbing aaaaAAND you are now realising that his shirt is a little see-through under the lights and his back muscles are.,., well.,., they are definitely flexing.,.,
you cut your nails recently so it probably wouldn’t hurt him if you dug them into his shoulder blad-
oh my god
get a grip
PLEASE for the love of god get a grip
you know what
it’s because your period is late this month!! that’s why your hormones are completely out of whack
you wouldn’t be surprised if you reeked of pheromones right now
“also, you can call me jimin, you know. mr. park is kind of an in-class thing.” jimin teases
“right! …jimin.” you cough a little when your voice wavers slightly
it’s not that you’re uncomfortable with calling him jimin
it’s just that you’re used to calling him mr. park and jimin feels so informal and you knoW he’s only like two? three? years older than you so it’s not weird for you to be calling him by his name but!!!!! aHH
but then again you like saying his name :-) because it makes you feel closer to him :-) oh god u rly do like him :-)
(also he likes hearing u say his name)
“i, um-“ you hang the rag over the bar before quickly wiping your hands on the back of your skirt “the reason why i stayed behin-“
“hold that thought-“ jimin gets up off the ground and dusts his hands off before patting his stomach “i don’t know about you but i am starving, so i’m going to quickly get some food from that deli down the block - do you want anything? i feel a little bad that i made you stay after class to help me clean.” he grabs his jacket before checking the pockets to make sure he has his wallet with him
right
well  
maybe this is another sign from god to noT giving jimin this present
every time you’re about to do it something happens!!!
“oh gosh, don’t worry about it! i… didn’t have any plans, anyway, so…” you snort before turning away from him because woW you are very good at making yourself sound like a loser “but, uh- you don’t have to get me anything! thank you for offering…”
“alright, i’ll be back in twenty. feel free to take a break!”
as soon as jimin leaves you immediately smack your forehead against the glass
okay first of all ouch
but second of all
“c’mon, y/n. keep it cool!”
what is it about park jimin that reduces you into a fumbling, awkward little loser???!!!
jimin lets out a breath as soon as he steps out of the room
he has no idea what’s wrong with him today but for some reason he’s like extra jittery and he has no idea why
it probably has something to do with the three iced lattes he drank but aLso it doesn’t really help that for the last 20 minutes he’s been alone with you and it’s driving him crazy
you drive him crazy!!!
he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about you
you’ve been grand jetéing all over his damn mind for the last two weeks!!
lately he’s just been finding it more than difficult to suppress and deny his feelings for you
like during the ten minute break in the middle of class he thinks it’s so sweet how excited you get when you pull your snacks out of your bag
the other day you brought in some cherries and you were making some of the girls crack up because you were trying to use the cherry juice to stain your lips for a make-shift lipstick but you were failing miserably
and then when you noticed he was watching you you immEdiately wiped your mouth with the back of your hand and ended up smearing cherry juice across your cheek and he had to try sO hard not to crack a smile at that
or when one of the girls asks you to help them out with a move you’re always so willing to help out
it’s pretty normal for jimin to give you guys about half an hour of class time to just get used to the routine and practice it on your own (and also this time gives him the chance to sit back and relax a little bit)
but he’s noticed that y/n the student is very different from y/n the teacher
“okay, 5-6-7-8- nope. no. try again. here we go, 5-6-7-up- okay, you need to get this timing right otherwise you’re going to be a beat behind for the entire routine.” you shake your head as you look at lisa in the mirror “are you paying attention? you go on the 8, you don’t go after the 8. i don’t know how many times i need to tell you that.”
“right, sorry…” lisa mutters as she gets back into first position and blows some hair out of her face
“don’t be sorry, just be ready.”
jimin’s eyes nearly pop out of his skull when he hears you say that because that’s what hE says to you guys all the time!!!
it’s adorable how you’ve been picking up on some of his techniques :’) the technique of being scary :’)
but also… he’s kind of very into y/n the teacher
miss y/n is hot
jimin immediately pinches his arm as soon as he thinks that before reminding himself to control himself
“alright, 5-6- ooh, wait, before we start- do you like my new leg warmers??” you ask excitedly before sticking one of your legs out and turning back towards lisa “strawberry patterned!!! strawberry!!!”
aaaand y/n the student is back
or the other day when you asked him for tips on a triple-pirouette because even though he taught that lesson a couple weeks back (ahem the day you sprained your ankle) you still haven’t been able to get the hang of it
it shouldn’t be that complicated!!! it’s literally just spinning on one foot so you don’t understand how you manage to fall off balance each time
anyways while he was walking you through the correct posture and all that he couldn’t help but notice the way that you were staring at yourself in the mirror
“neck straight and lengthened… eye-line is up.” jimin stands behind you but reaches around to tilt your chin up “and shoulders…”
there’s a little divot in between your brows and your tongue is poking out a little in between your lips and jimin doesn’t know how this is the first time he’s seen you make this face because you look like a little puppy and it’s adORABLE
damnit
every time he thinks he’s finally gotten control of his feelings for you you manage to reel him riGht back in
“mr. park?” jimin snaps out of it when you speak up and he blinks twice before looking at you in the mirror
“ah- sorry, what?”
“you… were saying something about shoulders?”
“shoulders! shoulders, yes.” jimin nods quickly and looks over your position “uh, shoulders down.”
jimin stares blankly into space as he waits for his order to be ready
he just doesn’t know what to do
he always knows what to do!
in fact, he prides himself on being able to handle anything that comes his way while remaining both level-headed and classy
but this
this is unknown territory
he’s a teacher, an authority figure, crushing on one of his students like a smitten little schoolboy and if he acts on his feelings, that could not only jeopardise his position at the school (and future positions at other schools) but also your enrolment at the school anD your relationship with your fellow peers (seulgi seems like the type to judge on the spot!!) aND!! your relationship with him!!  
because what if he tells you he likes you and you feel forced to tell him that you like him too because he’s your teacher??
would that classify as him abusing his power???
maybe in another universe if he wasn’t your teacher, you guys could be together
age definitely isn’t a problem because he’s only 3 years older than you which really isn’t that large of a gap
he could freely take you out all over the city
he could hold your hand whenever he wanted and he could kiss you whenever he wanted
you guys could go on dinner dates and movie dates and ice cream dates and museum dates and aLL the dates
maybe one night he could drive you to the outskirts of the city and you guys could have a picnic by the river and he could rest his head on your lap while you threaded your fingers through his hair
he wouldn’t have a care in the world because all that matters to him is you
and he doesn’t know if your whole “i, y/n y/l/n, am 110% attracted to park jimin-“ speech was just for entertainment purposes or if there’s truth behind your words but god he hopes it’s the latter
but at the same time, he has to be realistic about this
even if you do like him back… he can’t do anything about it
because at the end of the day he’s still mr. park and you’re still miss y/l/n
yeah
maybe in another life… just not this one.
“order number 48!”
jimin squeezes his way to the front of the crowd to grab his take-out bag
suddenly he’s lost his appetite
chakkachakkachakkachakka
“hey, mr. park, i actually have something for y- nope, no, he said to call him jimin-“ you mutter to yourself as you scrub vigorously at the grime in between the floorboards
god it’s like the janitor doesn’t even trY to clean this place up
everything’s so dusty and icky!!
“well, jimin, the funny thing is i actually stayed behind to- why is it funny? it’s not funny. you’re not funny.” you grumble and reach up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear as you continue to scrub with the worn-out toothbrush
these people really need to invest in some proper cleaning equipment
also you’re scrubbing so hard that your arm is going to pop out of its socket soon
and you’ve been on your hands and knees for the last ten minutes so every joint in general is starting to get a little sore
maybe you should take a brea-
“okay, i know you said you didn’t want anything, but i noticed that you didn’t bring a snack in with you today so you must be at least a little peckish.” you jump three feet into the air when the door suddenly swings open and you quickly get up off the ground
you can’t help but hiss a little in pain when your knee cracks
ouCh
if anything this is a sign that your body wasn’t made for cleaning the floor and you should stick to mirror polishing
“but i’m almost done scrubbing the-”
“i got you a grilled cheese sandwich and a cup of tomato soup.” jimin looks back at you as he peels his leather jacket off and tosses it on top of his bag
“ooH i love grilled cheese sandwiches-!“ your eyes widen in excitement but you quickly dial it back when the corner of jimin’s mouth twitches in a smile “i mean… thank you, jimin.”
he nods in acknowledgement as he pulls the boxes out of the paper bag “come and sit. i have a wet-wipe for you if you wanted to clean off a little.”
okay
this is not a big deal
you and jimin are just… sharing a meal which is NOT a big deal
you’re having dinner together!
…oh god you’re having dinner with jimin
is this a date?????
are you on a date with jimin????
okay now you’re just spiralling
how many times do you need to remind yourself to keep it cool???
no
you know what
this isn’t a date, because if it were a date, then there’d be like candles and everything for mood lighting and you wouldn’T be wearing leg warmers and your hands wouldn’t reek of chemical cleaner
and these bright fluorescent lights in the studio completely kills the whole romantic thing so you’re fine!
“what did you-“ just as you get settled on the ground, the fluorescent lights hanging from the ceiling crackles and burns out “…huh.”
on the topic of lights
the weirdest thing about this studio is the vast array of lights hanging on the ceiling
because there are little spotlight bulbs lined up where the mirror is at the front of the room along with the back of the room which are warmer toned
on the ceilings are the classic tube fluorescent lights which obviously have a whiter tint to them
nighttime classes aren’t a huge thing so most of the time you guys don’t even use the lights because the suN is your source of light so you never really understood why the studio was designed this way
anyway, the point is - bright fluorescent lights certainly don’t scream romance but now that they’re dead and you’re left with the warm, golden glow of the spotlight bulbs,..,,. this feels more like a date than a simple shared meal
you swallow thickly
“christ… i bet the janitor didn’t change the lights like i asked him to.” jimin scoffs as he looks up at the ceiling
that guy never listens to him!!!
“actually, this happens a lot more than you think.” he sighs as he sets the boxes down on the ground
“oh?” you clear your throat as you pull your box towards you
“i usually stay for a couple more hours after you girls leave and this isn’t the first time the lights have died on me. at least the spotlight bulbs are working…”
“a little dim, but as long as we’re not fumbling around in the dark, right?” you snort as you pop the lid of the soup container off
almost immediately the smell of tangy tomato soup tickles your nostrils
yuMMy
“you’re right, it is a little dim… lucky for us, i actually keep candles in the cabinet.” jimin claps his hands together before swooping down to open up the cabinets
…yeah so what were you saying about this not being a date setting??
as jimin works on lighting the candles, yoU work on figuring out things to talk about to kill the mood
“you know, um, when i make grilled cheese sandwiches for myself at home, i actually use mayo instead of butter!” you clear your throat as jimin takes a seat after lighting the candles
“i’ve heard about that hack… but i do have to say it sounds a little nasty.” jimin raises a brow as he unwraps his own sandwich
“hey now… don’t knock it til ya try it!” you gasp in mock offence before tearing the sandwich in half and watching the cheese stretch out
god
what a beautiful sight
gooey cheese should be considered as one of the seven wonders of the world
“are you playing with your food?” jimin watches as you wind the stretched out cheese from one chunk of the sandwich around the other sandwich
“playing with your food makes it more fun to eat. that’s a scientific fact.” you break it off before bringing it up to your mouth for a bite
“oh yeah? says who?” jimin teases as feeds himself a spoonful of soup
you swallow your bite and shrug “says me!”
a couple seconds of silence ticks by in which the two of you continue to munch quietly and keep to yourselves
you hate silence
it makes you itChy for some reason
“how about we play a game?” after one whole minute of nothing but the sound of quiet chewing, you decide that soMething has to be said
“what kind of a game?” jimin sits up straighter as he polishes off the first half of his sandwich
“how about…”
hm
you should have thought this through
okay
some kind of an icebreaker game
something safe
truth or dare sounds like it could wander into risky territory so maybe not that
“ooh! two truths and a lie - ballet edition.”
“ballet edition? how would that work?” jimin hums as he picks up the other half of his sandwich
you feel your heart hiccup as he tears it in half and stretches the cheese out
he’s copying u :’)
“lemme think…” you wipe some of the grease on your fingers off on a napkin before leaning back on your palms “okay. my favourite move is the grand jeté, my favourite performance was the nutcracker, and my favourite warm-up exercise is the butterfly stretch.”
jimin thinks to himself as he chews slowly
you smile a little as you pick up your sandwich and take a bite
“your favourite move is not the grand jeté. the other day when i said that i’d be incorporating it into our next routine, i swear i could see the light die in your eyes.” jimin snorts before dusting the crumbs off his hand “that was too easy.”
“can you blame me?? i’m not trying to sprain my ankle again!” you pout as you reach down to brush your fingers over your ankle (that has fully recovered, thank goD) “fine, you give it a try then!”
“so it can be about anything related to ballet?”
“anything at all.”
anything related to ballet
ooh he can talk about his education!!
“alright, let’s see.” jimin wipes his mouth with a napkin, “i graduated at the top of my class… i was the youngest student in my class… and… i am not drowning in student debt.”
“…jimin, the game is called two truths and a lie, not three brags and a nothing.”
“well- there are two truths and a lie!! i’m still playing by the rules!!”
“okay, fine - obviously you’re still drowning in student debt. everyone is!!” you scoff as you pop a piece of crust into your mouth
“ah-“ jimin holds a finger up before wagging it at you “that one’s actually true. i’m not drowning in debt because my education was paid for by the scholarship i was awarded- say, this game is fun! your turn!!”
you can’t help but roll your eyes “again, this isn’t three brags and a noth- hEY-“
you squawK in surprise when jimin suddenly throws a crumpled up napkin ball at you
“don’t roll your eyes at me, miss y/l/n…” he teases before threatening to throw another one “go!! your turn!!”
“alright, alright… let me try to think of something to brag about too!”
the two of you spend the next half an hour or so playing the game while finishing up dinner
at one point you nearly wipe your greasy fingers on your skirt and jimin swats your hand away before telling you that if you walked into his class with a dirty uniform on he would definitely kill you
“okay, give me one last one before we clean up and get back to… well, cleaning up.” jimin pops the lid back onto the empty cup and sets it aside
also you’re going to need to ask him where he bought dinner from because the grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup was actually incredible
“fine, but you have to promise not to get mad or anything- that one time i forgot to bring my pointe shoes was definitely on purpose… we have a nickname for you that i can’t say because the others would kill me for it… ooh, and here’s a good one-“ you snort as you perk up in excitement “all of the girls in class have fallen deeply in love with you after you gave everyone roses on valentine’s day.”
the smile falters on jimin’s face
uh oh
maybe that one was a little over the line
you forgetting your pointe shoes was an accident!!! you were in a rush and you forgot to pack them
“…”
your lips part to say something but then it hits you
‘all of the girls’ also includes yourseLF you idiot
‘all of the girls have fallen deeply in love with you’
wow
you are incredible
well you might as well go ahead and throw yourself at him too while you’re at it!!
“all of them, you say?”
if that one’s a truth then he hopes you really do mean all of the girls in class
“y’know, uh, speaking of those roses-“ your voice cracks and you feel your face heat up a little before you scramble up off the ground “i actually wanted to say thank you for the valentine’s day gifts you gave us which was why i hung back after class in the first place-”
“oh?” jimin perks up in interest as he crumples up his napkin and tosses it into the paper bag
he can’t help but smile fondly as he watches you fumble through your bag with your tongue poking out
there it is again!!!!
little puppy :-(
god
you make everything so cute
“yeah! i felt a little bad that you didn’t get anything and that… you know, you had to spend valentine’s day with us…” you pull the presents out and a small frown tugs at your lips when you realise the wrapping paper is a little smooshed
oh well
it’s the thought that counts  
and hopefully these presents will get his mind off of what u just said lol
“ah, that’s very nice of you, but you really didn’t have to get me anything…” jimin feels his own cheeks flush a little when you sit down across from him and your knee nudges against his own
“don’t be silly… you didn’t have to get us anything, but you did! and i thought that was very sweet of you.” you smile at him as you hand the presents over
okay WOW you might as well have tiny cartoon hearts floating around your head
reel it iN
“well, i’m glad you liked your rose.” jimin hums as he carefully tears the wrapping paper
you did a very neat job at wrapping his gift so he’s not just going to tear into it like an animaL
jimin’s eyes light up in excitement when he sees what the first present is
ooh!!!!!!!
metal straws!!!!!!
“they’re for those iced lattes you drink all the time!” you grin giddily as you look at his face to gauge his reaction
from the looks of it he seems like he’s a fan and hopefully he’s no longer thinking about your weird confessioN
“ah! i love these! you know, i was thinking about buying them but i keep forgetting, so this is great!”
he’s going to use these metal straws all the time!!!!
he loves them!!!!
save the turtles!!!!!
he’s feeling very trendy now
“also, i chose blue because it matches your hair.” your eyes flicker towards his pale blue strands and jimin unconsciously reaches up to run his fingers through his hair
“you noticed my blue hair? damn, i was trying to be subtle about it…” jimin jokes before moving on to the next gift
“did mr. park just crack a joke?” you gasp mockingly and jimin can’t help but roll his eyes playfully
“mean mr. park does have a sense of humour, you know-“
“for a while there i was seriously considering the theory of you being an android-“
“now look who’s being mean!!”
it’s weird that this is really the only time you’ve had a conversation with jimin outside of class
and it’s even weirder than he’s basically an entirely different person outside of class
with that being said
on monday when he reverts back to mr. park he’s most definitely going to still have the ability to make you pee yourself
as he begins to tear the second gift open you speak up again
“i noticed that the journal you used to take notes and stuff looked a little tattered, so i thought maybe it’d be nice for you to have a new one! obviously you don’t have to use it if you don’t like it, but i just thought that… yeah.”
it’s a handmade brown leather bound journal with his initials pressed (and painted gold!!) on the front cover
truth be told you were a little wary about this gift because it felt oddly… intimate? personal?
it just feels more like a gift you’d give to your significant other rather than your teacher
like if you gave your professor an apple that’s normal but if you gave your professor a box of chocolate covered strawberries that’s a lil.,,.,. a lil out of line and more ‘i love you!’ than ‘i respect you!’
but before you could change your mind about it the person at the store had already finished pressing the letters in and she said no refunds so
oops
“oh, wow… this is beautiful, y/n…” jimin breathes out as he smooths his hand over the leather
although it’s fairly obvious he likes the gift you’re still vERY nervous for some reason
you catch yourself twisting your skirt in between your hands and you quickly let go and clasp your hands together on your lap
“so you… you like it?” you press your lips together and jimin snorts
“like it? i love it!” jimin gushes as he flips through the book “thank you very much, y/n. these were very thoughtful presents, i really appreciate it.” he hums contently before looking up at you with a warm smile
you feel your heart skip a beat at the little twinkle in his eyes
he,.,., is literally..,,. the most beautiful man you’ve ever laid your eyes upon.,,.
also the two of you have unconsciously been scooching closer to each other this entire time and your knees are basically pressed up against each others  
you’re so focused on the fact that your heart is pounding in your chest that you don’t notice jimin’s gaze flicker to your lips for a brief second
god he wants to kiss you
after dinner you pulled out the strawberry-mint flavoured gum you’re always chewing on before class (you offered him a piece but he’d already pulled out his own plain ol’ spearmint gum for himself)
so he’d definitely taste strawberry if he kissed you
and he really likes strawberries
“also, i-“ you lean back quickly before letting out a nervous chuckle and getting up from the ground “i also wanted to take this chance to apologise for the… inappropriate comments i made a couple weeks back.”
“inappropriate comments?” jimin clears his throat and leans back a little as well
he reaches up to scratch the back of his neck
hOo
maybe he should turn the air conditioner on
it’s getting a little hot in here
he gets up off the ground before heading over to the front of the room where the switches are
“oh, right!” jimin flips the air con switch on and tugs at his collar a bit “you mean you telling the entire class that you’d like to sit on my-“
“tHAT waS-“ you interrupt jimin before he gets a chance to finish his sentence before clearing your throat loudly “see, the thing is, that was just seulgi getting under my skin- i’m sure you’ve noticed we have a best frenemies kind of situation going on-“
you roll your eyes as you start to polish the mirror again (because you’re getting nervous again and when u get nervous you nEED to do something with your hands) “basically some of the girls were talking about you and i stepped in to- y’know, make sure that they were keeping things respectful because you aRe our teacher-“
ok all this rant is doing is making you sound like a major teacher’s pet but pop off sis
“a-anyways, seulgi seemed to think that me defending you was because i had a crush on you, so then i kinda just said all that stuff to get her off my back, you know? does that make sense? i’m not sure if i’m making sense.” you babble on as you start wiping at one spot on the mirror a littLe too aggressively “and, you know, i would, um, under normal circumstances, i would nevEr ever ever disrespect my teachers like that and i just hope that you-“
jimin stops listening to your nervous babbling to flashback to that afternoon
‘i would 100% love to sit on park jimin’s face because i, y/n y/l/n, am 110% attracted to him.’
even the reminder of you saying that sends a shiver down his spine and sends blood rushing to multiple parts of his body
you know what
fuck it
he’s just going to go for it
he’s sat on this for far too long and if it doesn’t work out, he’s veRy good at acting like he doesn’t care about anything
so, either way, he’ll be totally fine!!!
…right??
“do you?” jimin cuts you off and you look at him in the mirror as he packs the gifts away in his bag
“do i- sorry, do i what?”
jimin zips his bag up loudly and you jump a little in surprise
“do you have a crush on me, y/n?”
your hand immediately freezes on the mirror and your grip tightens on the rag
all you can hear is the sound of the air con whirring above you and your heart beating in your ears
you-
did he just-
what are you supposed to-
is this really happening right now or are u having a fever dream
you force your hand to move but your movements make you seem more like a tin-man rather than a normal human being
“i-i don’t… i’m not sure i understand the, uh…” your heart seems to beat faster with every slow step jimin takes towards you “what exactly, um, what exactly do you mean by ‘crush’? b-because, y’know, crush… crush can be interpreted in… in a miLLion different ways, so…”  
reaLLY??
thAt’s your response??
gee mr. park can you define crush for me???
can you use it in a sentence sir???
“okay, fine.” jimin purses his lips before tilting his head “are you attracted to me, miss y/l/n?” your hand freezes mid-wipe on the mirror with an obnoxious squeak the moment you realise jimin is standing directly behind you
if u thought that being referred to as miss y/l/n in class was intimidating
hOo boy
“a-attracted?”
this is making you want to catapult yourself into the middle of a busy intersection
“attracted. romantically…” jimin looks at you through the mirror and for some reason you’re unable to unlock gazes with him “sexually.”
“what-“ your voice cracks, “-makes you think that, mr. park?”
the corner of jimin’s mouth tugs up in a sly smirk
well now he definitely knows how you feel about him
this is where it gets fun
“well, i notice that you become very flushed whenever i’m close to you. the apples of your cheeks and the tips of your ears turn bright pink… kind of like how they are right now.” you can feel the heat radiating off of jimin’s body from how close he’s standing to you
you swallow thickly when he reaches up to pluck the rag out of your hand before tossing it aside
you’re completely frozen from head to toe but you manage to slowly drag your hand down from the mirror
“and don’t think i don’t notice the way you look at me when you think i’m not paying attention.” jimin hums and reaches around to tilt your chin upwards as his other hand rests on your waist “look at yourself, y/n.”
miraculously enough you manage to drag your gaze away from jimin to look at yourself in the mirror
oh boy
you are flushed
and your pupils are so blown out to the point where they’ve almost completely consumed your iris’
your chest rises and falls as you continue to take in shallow breaths
“i see the moony look in your eyes… and they get extra moony when i come to class wearing white button-ups.” jimin whispers in your ear and you feel every single hair on your body prickle to life “i see the way you bite your lip when i roll them up like this-“ jimin presses both palms up against the mirror next to your head and you swallow thickly at the sight of his almost obscenely attractive forearms caging you in
“and when you bend down to fix your shoes or adjust your leg warmers… you know exactly what you’re doing, don’t you?” jimin purrs and reaches down to tilt your chin up again
your back is pressed right up against his chest
“you’re not nearly as sneaky as you think you are…”
o god
you feel like you can’t speak
your mouth is just dRY
also you don’t know whether you should be feeling humiliated or.,,.,. slightly turned on
is it possible to feel both at the same time??
“tell me you want this as much as i do.” jimin feels like his heart is about to beat out of his chest but it’s waY too late to take everything back
your head is reeling and you’re honestly not sure how to respond
because on one hand this is finALLY happening and your dreams are literally coming true right before your eyes but on the other hand this is finally happening and usually when you fantasise about jimin you never let it get this far so you haven’t had the chance to plan out your next move
meanwhile, jimin has no idea what to think and has no idea how to interpret your silence
he waits for another ten seconds to go by before deciding to call it
time of death is 7:48pm
well
this was mortifying
and he’s probably going to lose his job now!
so that’s great!  
“shit, i…” he lets his hands fall from the mirror before taking a couple steps back from you “god, i… i’m sorry, that was wildly inappropriate of me, i just thought- mmph!”
jimin stumbles back with wide eyes when you’re suddenly launcHing yourself at him and it doesn’t take long for him to start kissing you back
his arm snakes around your waist as he reaches up to cup your jaw
he was right
you do taste like strawberries
jimin feels a new kind of flame ignite within him when he hears a little whimper slip past your lips when he presses you up against the mirror
and yoU are just floating on cloud nine
jimin’s lips are so impossibly soft and pillowy and you feel like you could kiss him forever
jimin pulls away first to catch his breath and he can’t help but chuckle when you lean up to chase after his lips
“i’m not going anywhere, you know-“
“i know, but you’re a really good kisser-“ you breathe out as you nudge your nose against his
hOo
you could use a breather too
“i like you, y/n. i like you a lot.” jimin whispers and leans down to press his forehead against yours
you feel your heart soaring in your chest at his confession and if it’s even possible your cheeks get even pinker
“i like you too.”
and even though the two of you are currently encased in a warm bubble of love, one single question pops up in your minds at the same time:
what the hell am i going to do now?
help me help you make your wishes come tru (aka send me a request)
requested drabbles masterlist
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could you write friends to lovers goshiki x reader where he PINES AND PINES AND HE FEELS LIKE EVERYTHING IS HOPELESS AND THEN... kith. reader gives him a big fat kith kith (... tongue ? 😳) hehehehe... pls. he's so cute.
Author’s Note: Hi hi hi! Thank you for being patient!! AND THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING BC WRITING THIS GAVE ME LIFE. Ah, and apologies if it’s not what you wanted and/or any of the characters are ooc! I’ve never quite written for Goshiki before! Thank you <3
Shares and feedback are appreciated!
Word count: 2,089
Summary: Goshiki has been pining after you for years, but the more he thinks about it, the more hopeless he becomes.
Warnings?: uhhh i don’t think so?
---
“Goshiki.”
Said boy turned his head, pressing his lips together. 
“Y-Yes?” he shouted in response.
Ushijima handed him the ball, stepping toward him with an unbothered look in his eyes.
“Pay attention,” was all he said before resuming his own practice.
“Y-Yes, sir!” Goshiki responded, bowing in apology.
Damn, he thought. He shouldn’t have been so distracted.
But you were just there, stopping by the gym to greet your friend. You had waved your hand to him and called out, “Tsutomu!!” before moving on to get back to what you were originally doing.
Even just hearing his name from your lips took him out of the world. It was frustrating how you had him wrapped around your finger. But, then again, it made his heart flutter, too.
“What’s this?” Tendou hummed. “Looks like Tsutomu has hearts in his eyes!” 
“H-Heart... eyes?” he squeaked, almost dropping his recently returned ball.
Ohira turned his head. “It’s nice that you have a crush on L/n, but don’t let it take away from your playing, Goshiki.”
The bowl-cut brat didn’t respond, sighing under his breath in frustration. He didn’t even bothering trying to deny his feelings this time. 
They were right. He got distracted way too easily.
☆ ☆ ☆
“Y/n-san!” 
Both you and Goshiki blinked at the newcomer who had so suddenly interrupted your conversation.
“Yes?” you murmured, leaning back in your seat.
He looked very nervous. His hands were behind his back, yet you could still tell they were shaking.
“I- I like you!” he confessed quite loudly. 
The rest of the class went silent as they realized what was happening, pausing their conversations to look right at you.
The boy who supposedly had a crush on you presented you with a letter, sweating nervously for your next move. 
Beside you, Goshiki was trying not to show his jealousy and irritation. He gripped the end of his shirt and furrowed his brows as he watched you, afraid you might accept and/or reciprocate his feelings. Who did he think he was, just walking up to you like that?
Oh, but God, he wished he had those kinds of guts.
His heart began to tighten when he saw you take the letter, setting it in your lap and inspecting its quality. For some reason, though, you did not open it. Nor did you seem interested in doing so.
“Ah,” you said. “That’s very kind of you,” you smiled. “However, as I do not know you and do not want to lead you on, I’ll have to admit that I do not quite return your feelings. Thank you, though.”
Your confessor noticeably looked disappointed and embarrassed, nodding in response.
“Of course! Thank you!” he declared, hastily walking out of the room. 
Your eyes momentarily followed his retreating form, humming to yourself. How strange. That was the second time this week.
☆ ☆ ☆
“Don’t you think you’re being a bit blunt with them, Y/n?” Goshiki murmured, finishing the last bite of his popsicle.
He didn’t care much about how she was rejecting her admirers as long as she was rejecting them (selfish, perhaps?). However, this did instill a fear into him that she would react just as bluntly if she ever was told about his feelings for her. This also added onto the risk of losing their long-lasting friendship, which was one of the things he cherished most.
You laughed, which surprised him greatly. “I don’t know what he was expecting! I hardly knew him, and I don’t have time to go on dates that most likely won’t be worth my time since, y’know, I didn’t like him in the first place,” you said, your voice calming down. “Besides, he didn’t really know me either. He probably just thinks I looked cool during my games and liked the idea of me instead.”
“B-But you don’t just look cool! You are cool!” the raven-haired boy retorted. Jumping slightly at his outburst, you raised a brow in doubtfulness. “I mean, you’re one of the strongest girls on the volleyball team, you’re super smart, know how to read people super well, and even got in a good word from Ushijima-san! You’re one of the coolest people I know!”
His words had taken you aback, heat rising in your cheeks and a laugh bubbling softly within you.
“That’s sweet, Tsutomu. Thank you. But nonetheless,” you resumed walking away from him and to the girl’s dorms. “The odds still weren’t in his favor.”
☆ ☆ ☆
Goshiki could remember the first time he realized he liked you. Back then it was just a tiny crush. 
“C’mon, Tsutomuuu! How are you going to be an all-star ace if you can’t even match my spikes?” you whined, sitting next to the taller kid.
He was in a mood, grumbling to himself as he just couldn’t seem to get into the groove of playing today. You had both agreed to practice spiking with each other and a couple of other friends after school got out.
Noticing this, you placed a hand on his shoulder and leaned forward to grasp his attention. It was almost too close for his standards (but we all know he really didn’t mind).
“Oi,” you said. “You better not start giving up today just because you’re frustrated,” you scolded, talking down on him.
“Wha?” he asked, scrunching his nose to look at you, trying to hide the blush rising to his cheeks as you inched your face closer.
“You know what’s worse than failing even after you tried your hardest?” you continued, ignoring the looks your got from the rest of the kids. “Giving up before the game’s even ended!!” you shouted, patting his back firmly, receiving a soft ‘ow’ from Goshiki.
 “So stop sitting on the ground like the loser you aren’t and come try and beat me!”
You stood up, wiping the dust from your legs and offering him your hand. He cocked his head to the side like he was trying to figure you out before letting a smile spread onto his face. 
And suddenly, just by your words, he was on top of the world again. But it hit different this time. Because for the first time since he met you, butterflies began to form in his stomach.
☆ ☆ ☆
The more he thought about how great you were and how much he’s pined after you, the more he’d get discouraged.
You just seemed so out of his league and uninterested in having a romantic connection with anyone. Why would you ever consider giving him a chance?
“Tsutomu?” you said softly, waving your hand in front of your best friend’s face.
“Sorry, sorry!” he apologized, snapping out of it. “What were you saying?”
You laughed at his spaced out moment, leaning back against the tree you both sat by.
“Since I’ve been having a few more confessions than usual, I was wondering if you were going to try your luck on any girls, yourself,” you said, repeating your statement.
Goshiki’s face turned red for a second. “Oh,” he murmured. He already knew the answer to this question, yet still acting as though he had to think about it.
Pursing his lips, he said, “Well… I do like this one girl.” He hesitated, noticing your eyebrow raise in the periphery of his vision. “But I don’t think she likes me back.”
“Whaaat?” you sighed, leaning forward and resting your hands on your legs. You seemed very captivated by his admittance.
“There’s no way she doesn’t like you back! You’re a pretty cool guy!” you added, your brows knitting together.
“Ah, trust me,” he laughed lightly, scratching the back of his head. “She’s really cool. Out of my league, actually. I’ve liked her for awhile, too, but after all these years, I just don’t think she’s ever gonna like me back. Everyday when I see her, I pinch myself just to make sure I’m not dreaming. If I could just get to her level…” he trailed off, looking down at his hands.
You both stayed like that for quite some time. In fact, none of you said anything. This made him nervous. Oh, no, did you think he was weird now? Did you figure him out and now hate him? Why were you being so quiet?
“Tsutomu,” you finally said, your voice oddly emotionless.
He tensed slightly at the sound of your voice, preparing himself for whatever was going to happen next.
“Wh- huh?!” he cut himself off, taken by surprise when your hands began to hold his face.
For a fraction of a second he could see the soft smile on your face and the look in your eyes before you leaned forward and kissed him.
His brain stopped and his heart felt like there were fireworks going off inside. Panicked and confused, his hands shot up to yours, but he didn’t pry them away from his face. Instead, he rested them on top of yours, allowing you to press him up against the tree as he finally realized what was going on.
You were kissing him. 
Deciding that he couldn’t let this opportunity go to waste, he made the bold move of incorporating his tongue, which you gladly obliged. It was much less a battle of strength and more of an exploration of each other.
It was surreal being able to kiss you for the first time. The world was suddenly gone, and it was just the two of you. Nobody else in the entire world existed. Just you and him.
When you (unfortunately had to) pull away, you didn’t move from your spot.
Goshiki finally noticed that he was the one pressed against the tree, with you between him as you both held each other. His face was on fire, and his mind was racing so fast that he could barely remember his name.
“H-How did you know it was you?” he asked breathily, forgetting to breathe when you intertwined your fingers with his and brought them down from his face.
Again with that damn smile, you leaned back to get a better look at him. 
“I had a suspicion, but I didn’t act on it until you talked about the pinching thing,” you admitted.
“Wait, you noticed that? I thought you couldn’t see me doing it!” he replied.
“It was a bit noticeable after a couple of times. I didn’t exactly piece together that it was you pinching yourself, but when you told about how you did it everytime you saw the supposed ‘girl’, I put two and two together,” you answered, letting your thumb glide over his palm.
“Oh…” he murmured, his shoulders relaxing, though the blush on his face certainly didn’t. “Does this mean… you like me too?”
“Well, duh, silly! Why would I have my first kiss with you if I didn’t?” you chuckled, amused by his question. Though, of course, you couldn’t blame him.
“Ah, alright!” he said. He was nervous, but pumped up at the same time.
The two of you stood there in that position. It was almost as if you two were waiting for something.
“Alright, come on. It’s getting late and practice starts early tomorrow,” you said, releasing his hands and pressing a soft kiss to his nose before standing up (Lord help him, you just made him a hundred times softer for you). “Let’s measure our jumping heights tomorrow. Bet you can’t beat me,” you grinned, offering him your hand just like you did all those years ago.
“H-Hey! I’m the taller one, here!” he objected, attempting to shake off the light feeling in his stomach. He took your hand and pulled himself up. 
“So?” you countered. It sounded as if there were two meanings to the question, but you wouldn’t confirm, stuffing your hands in your pockets and gesturing for him to start the walk back home with you.
He caught on to your inquiry, stepping forward before stopping himself.
“Y/n!” he said confidently (though, in reality, he was more nervous than ever). He clutched his hands into fists.
Stopping in your place just a few feet ahead of him, you turned around. “Yeah?” you hummed.
“Would you like to go on a date with me?” he asked, almost shouting his offer. If he were any louder, the neigboring buildings might’ve had a chance to hear him.
You blinked at his question, your chest tightening and face heating up. Your surprise only lasted for a fraction of a second before you put your hands on your hips and gave him his answer.
“I would!”
---
☆taglist ☆
@shou-kunn @warmbearhugs
disclaimer: i would like to clarify that when goshiki is pinching himself, it isn’t enough to seriously harm himself at all!! i would not recommend it! it’s just enough to receive a response, and he most certainly doesn’t do it every time he sees you!
230 notes · View notes
blushingbaka · 4 years
Note
Ok this scenario came into my mind just a min ago. Soo it’s Like the reader got sick like flu or stg so she went to her friends place without telling sakusa, to get well since she knows He hates anything germ related. Then He comes Home He can’t find her blah blah I leave the rest to you like would He appreciate it or would He go to where she is and Take her back to home etc
with a sick s/o
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pairing: sakusa x reader genre: fluff length: 830
✰ a/n: tysm anon for being my first request !! i honestly loved this idea and maybe got a bit tooooo soft with it ahaha. i think sakusa would definitely come and take you home tho bc he doesn’t trust anyone else to properly care for you lolol so that’s kind of where i picked it up! hope you enjoy it <3
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“I guess another symptom of the flu is bad decision making” Sakusa mumbles coolly, not taking his eyes off the road. Even though a frown probably lays beneath the mask he’s wearing, you don’t need to see it to know he’s agitated. His knitted brows and whitened knuckles are clear enough indicators. Not having the desire nor energy to defend yourself, you simply let your head fall against the window relishing in the relief the cool surface gives your burning forehead. 
“And I can’t understand why you’d rely on that friend to take care of you when you’re sick,” he murmurs expressing a hint of genuine confusion despite the clear judgment in his tone. “Every time you’ve taken me there they have dirty dishes in their sink.” 
“I can take care of myself. I just didn’t want to make you uncomfortable” you mumble weakly. Maybe you were in the wrong by not telling him your whereabouts and letting him come home to an empty apartment, but it seemed like such an easy decision when you woke up this morning, your whole body aching and feeling unbearably hot. After deducing you had the flu, you figured the same man that looked personally offended when you sneezed in front of him wouldn’t want to be around you in your current condition. 
“If you could take care of yourself, we wouldn’t be in this situation” he bluntly pointed out to you, but his voice was softer, missing its previous edge. 
“I had my flu shot, so just quit nagging already” you whined, turning your knees towards the car door and closing your eyes in hopes it would end the mostly one-sided conversation. Sakusa let out another soft sigh, but he didn’t say another word. Now that he wasn’t lecturing you anymore, you were able to fully appreciate the comfort that being by his side brought you. Even though you wanted to put Sakusa’s comfort above your own, a selfish part of you was glad that he was so persistent in calling you and figuring out where you were. When he discovered you were sick and immediately said, “I’m coming to get you," you couldn't help but feel a hint of elation.  
You figured once you were back to your apartment, you would get settled on the couch and Sakusa would check in on you sporadically, but you were shocked when he insisted you take the bed. It amazed you see Sakusa almost playing the role of a doting boyfriend by bringing you a cool rag and insisting that you eat soup and keep hydrated. Of course, he did all of these things with his mask on and with a very reluctant attitude. The way he exaggerated his sighs and rolled his eyes was distinctly Kiyoomi, but his actions were comforting nonetheless. 
“You’re really going to sleep on the couch?” You gently prodded with a small pout forming on your face. 
“Y/N you’re contagious, and I have a game next week. I think it would be ridiculous for even me to wear a mask to bed.” He lightly jokes. That same selfish part of you wants to push further, but you already feel guilty enough that you’ve could have gotten him sick last night. You’re about to tell him it’s fine, but before you’re able to get the words out he sits down on the floor beside the bed, resting his head on the nightstand. 
“I suppose I can wait here until you fall asleep” he heaves a great sigh, and your heart squeezes leaving you unsure what to say. 
“Why are you being so nice?” you weakly chuckle unable to voice your true thoughts. His eyebrows furrow like you just asked him an impossible question, and instead of replying right away, he places a hand on the top of your head, using his thumb to gently rub your forehead. 
“What am I supposed to do, huh?” his deep voice comes out even and soft, and his gentle touch coaxes you to sleep, but you persistently hang onto his words. 
“You think when our kids get sick I’m just going to check into a hotel somewhere?” he says the words so calmly and confidently that you’re almost sure you heard him wrong. Sakusa has never expressed interest in kids, so for a moment, you think this is some product of a fever dream.
“Omi-“ you interrupt yourself as a cough rattles your body, and you make a point to turn away from Sakusa. You never get to finish that sentence, however, because Sakusa shuts you down, insisting that you need your rest. Despite your efforts to keep your eyes open and stare at this new side of Kiyoomi you've discovered, your eyelids become too heavy to resist the lull of sleep. It could be a figment of your imagination, but you swear you hear him say one more thing. 
“Honestly idiot, when are you going to realize you’re always the exception?”
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lesbian-dp · 5 years
Text
Royally Fucked
Natasha Romanoff x Reader
Words: 2,271
Warnings: Misogyny, frustration, bath sex, strap on sex... p sure that's it.
Request: Yah.
Summary: The Queen will always be your world.
A/N: Just an FYI this is obviously set in the medieval times, so the reader is pretending to be a man, bc they’re a Knight. Just wanted to let you guys know that.
18+ ONLY.
“-A woman cannot rule on her own-!”
Your eyes rolled into the back of your head, near enough seeing your own brain, before you tuned out the dull drawl of the aged man.
His Royal Highness. Howard Stark. A pompous old git, who rules his kingdom with an iron fist. The man, who was currently ranting in front of each kingdom’s officials. All because, he was trying to wed his son, for his own selfish greed. And you. The Queens General and secret lover had to be there to witness it.
“I’m sorry you think that, you Highness.”
Ah! There she was.
A small smile tugged at your lips, hearing her husky voice.
Glancing out of the corner of your eyes, down to where Natalia sat regally beside where you stood.
God.
She was gorgeous.
How you ever got so lucky, is beyond you.
Her red layered dress, lined with the finest gold thread, the world had to offer, pushed her soft perky breasts up. Giving you a fantastic view of them, from where you stood above her. Your agile eyes were soon drawn to her plump, moving lips. Watching Natalia’s plump, moving lips. Watching them intently, remembering the look of them clasped around the crystal toy strapped around your hips. And the way they felt gliding across your wet core. How soft they were against your own lips. Moaning into your mouth, in a telltale way of what was about to come undone.
Spoiler alert! It was you guys!
Realising you had probably been staring at her beautiful self for minutes too long. You repositioned yourself, placing a hand upon the hilt of your sword, and staring blankly at the wall of the meeting room, in front of you. The door within your eyesight, able to see any and all newcomers, should they arrive.
“However, I would like to remind you of which of us are in their bankruptcy.”
“How dare you-?!” His face grew red with rage, light grey moustache and hair clashing, terribly, with the raspberry hue it had taken on.
“Watch your tone while you are speaking to the Queen,” you ordered.
“And I’d watch your tongue!” the King argued back.
Natalia placed her hand gently upon your leather-bound arm, just as you opened your mouth to shout a reply. Glancing down at the red-headed Queen, she shook her head, and you knew to hold your tongue.
“I’d rethink about who you appointed to be your head Knight. They’re obviously lacking in some basic training.”
“With all due respect, your Highness,” Natasha began, an entirely fake smile drawn upon her face, “My General is of the highest order. They live by the highest standards. And I respect them and their opinion. I can’t help it if you expect everyone but yourself to watch how they speak.”
“Now, General?”
You turned to face Natalia. “Yes, your Majesty?”
“Would you be so kind, as to personally escort King Howard from the castle. I think we have all heard enough for one morning.”
“It would be my pleasure.” You gave her a half bow, before moving towards the infuriated man.
***
Huffing, you slammed the door to the quarters the Queen had “gifted” you with. Reasoning that it would be better for her safety, if you were close by, in the castle. The royal quarters being only a few doors down from your own.
You kicked off your dirt-covered boots, as you threw your ornated sword across the room, and into the wall, in frustration.
“Well, that wasn’t very nice.”
The voice to your side made you snap your attention to it. You knew that voice. You loved that voice.
There she sat.
The Queen.
Her legs were crossed, hands folded upon them. Watching you from her place on your bed.
“That sword was very expensive. And a gift from myself, if I might add,” Natalia said, the corner of her lip up turning slightly, as she cocked an eyebrow.
You sighed. Taking a step towards the red-headed Queen, you said, “I’m sorry, Your Majesty.”
She waved you off.
“I don’t care about the sword,” she said, “I care about what has gotten you in such a foul mood,” Natalia finished with a pout.
You knew how bad she wanted to make you feel better. How much she hated seeing you any other way, but happy.
“They’re incompetent fools.”
Natalia smiled at this.
“The Trainies?”
“Oh, no!” You shook your head. The memories of your day, attacking your mind. “Not just the trainees- If anything, they’re better than most of the men we have now.”
The Queen stayed silent as you spoke. Listening to you intently, her face the only give to any reactions. Namely being a tick of an eyebrow, sometimes even both, and a roll of her eyes.
You drew closer to the beauty that is the woman you have devoted your life to serve. And now to love. However secret that may be.
“I swear. If we ever have the unfortunate luck as to be thrust headfirst into a war... I am afraid we might not survive.”
It was quiet for a moment, as the Queen debated her words. Right now, she was not Natalia, your Natalia. The woman who told you she loved you at the dead of night. The one who called out your name during the throngs of passion. The one who was soft to touch. Who’s skin was perfectly smooth against yours.
No.
This was the Queen.
All business, and took no shit.
The woman who did what she had too for the good of her kingdom, to keep her people safe.
“What do you need?” she asked, finally.
“I don’t know,” you sighed, now only a step away from her, “Time?” you asked simply. Before breaking out of your stress-induced trance. And closing the distance between you and Natalia. Placing a gentle, but firm hand upon her shoulder, you said, “But let’s not think about that now...” You leaned down, to be eye level with her. “I want to spend some time with, my Natalia.”
The Queen smirked at what you called her, it quickly turning into a soft smile.
“I think that can be arranged.”
“Good.”
And with that, you lifted the shorter woman up into your arms, beginning to make your way out of the room.
“Now, I think, after the long day we’ve both had, we deserve a bath.”
***
The water was a milky white, red rose petals floating upon the calming water. The same water that swayed with every movement.
Gasps and moans filled the air, as the wet red-head bounced upon the blue crystal that was almost always strapped against your hips.
You said because it helped in making people believe you were one of the opposite gender. But mainly it was because of how much you love the availability to take the beautiful Queen, whenever, and wherever you two so wanted.
One of your bedchambers.
The throne room.
The dining room.
A random palace hallway.
Hell.
Even in the royal courtyard, if you so wished.
You watched Natalia’s silky wet body move on your lap. The water gliding against her body, her hair wet, and nipples pert. With your hands on her hips, helping her chase bliss. Then continuing to slide along her glistening body, pulling her closer to you.
Natalia panted as you left open-mouthed kisses all along her neck, them travelling up to her cheek, and finally her full lips.
With your arms wrapped tightly around her, one around her smooth shoulders, and your other around her waist. Pressing her against your body, as you kissed her earnestly, pouring everything you felt for the queen into that one kiss. Natalia’s arms wrapped around your neck, as she fucked herself onto you, kissing you the very same way.
“The bath’s starting to get cold,” you mumbled against her mouth.
“Then we should hurry, so that we can go to bed.”
“To sleep? Or...?” You rose your eyebrows. Once. Twice. To convey what you meant.
“Or.”
You smiled brightly at her.
Your lips were around her nipple in the very next second, sucking with enough power to make the Queen cry out. Causing her to buck her hips into your lap, faster than ever. Riding you like one would upon a station, on a long journey. Chasing her realise.
She jumped back in surprise when your hand connected with her small bud, rubbing away at it, but she soon continued to drive the object deep within her “sinful” hole.
It was not long after when she cried out in pleasure. Throwing her head back and crying out to the Gods.
Once Natalia had recovered, merely breathing heavy, with her head tucked into the side of your neck, you spoke.
“Let’s get to bed. Huh?”
***
Sat upon your calves the royal silky sheets rumpled beside you. Natalia’s legs thrown over your hips, and your hands gripping hers. Rutting into her. Drawing out her beautiful sounds.
How the powerful Queen could be reduced to this, you did not know.
You were only thankful that she chose you to reveal this secret side of herself too. Knowing how closed off she was to the world. If she even showed a thread of emotion, like she wanted too, on many occasions, other than her cold and calculated, yet caring self. The surrounding kingdoms would be out for blood.
More than they already were, that is.
“My lord, Natalia,” you husked, “You are beautiful.”
And she was.
She was beautiful, no matter what.
But right now, she was especially stunning.
With her hands gripping yours on her hips, her flushed chest rocking with each of your thrusts. The sweat, and remaining bathwater, making her body shine like the sun. Her mouth parted and gasping, and her eyes heavy-lidded.
You could go on and on about all the things you loved about the woman below you. For an eternity if you could. However, you were in the middle of something, as Natalia reminded you.
“I’m all yours, Y/N,” she spoke softly, “No one could ever compare to you.”
“Nor you, my love.”
Your hands on her hips tightened slightly. Helping her to lay in her stomach, Natalia moving to grip tightly on the silky pillow, pressing her face against it.
Her legs straddled tightly against yours, ass in plain view. The crystal resting on Natalia’s slick, wanting heat.
Groaning softly, you spoke, “There are no words in this world or the next, that could convey how much I truly do love you.”
The Queen hummed softly at your admission, her shoulders moving, and then relaxing with a sigh.
Your hands gently brushed down her silky back, until they reached her ass, caressing the plump asset.
“You were crafted by the God’s,” you said, adoration clear in your voice.
“Then why don’t you make me see them?” she replied, smirk upon her face, as she wiggled her ass to tempt you. The toy rubbing against her core.
And she did tempt you.
Of course, she did.
Pressing down on the crystal, you watched as it steadily disappeared into your loves throbbing head. Natalia moaned, as inch by inch, it vanished within her. Brushing against every crevice, drawing her high-pitched whines when it hit the special parts within her, bringing the Queen utmost pleasure.
With your hands now on her ribs, you slowly started to thrust into her. Working in drawing moans from her.
“Oh, God!” Natalia cried.
“Can you see them yet?” you asked playfully.
“Not quite,” she replied, matching your pants, as she backed herself u onto the toy you fucked her with.
“Guess I’ll just have to go harder.”
The bed was creaking below you, as you worked harder to pound into the woman you loved. Natalia's grip on the white pillow, patterned with red, tightened as cries poured from some unknown place, deep within her.
“Fuck! I love you, baby!”
“I love you, too, Natalia.”
She was close. She was oh so close. You could feel it every time you moved. Every time you pulled the crystal from her depths, only to push it back in, with vigour. It getting harder and harder to do.
“You’re close,” You stated.
Natalia nodded vigorously in agreement. Going to bite against the pillow.
“Don’t do that,” you told her, “I want to hear you, when you arrive.”
At your request, Natalia unclenched her teeth and allowed the pleasure-filled noises to pour from her mouth.
One of her hands snapped to one of yours that lay on her ribs, it surely leaving light bruises in their wake. Gripping at your hand, as she got closer to her much-anticipated release.
You couldn’t pull your gaze from her pleasure-filled face. Her hair sticking to her forehead, and around her ears. You knew that this would be her last orgasm, for a little while.
Pressing kisses against Natalia’s neck, jaw, and cheek. She came with a powerful cry. The hand not holding yours, came to grip the back of your head, fingers sliding through your hair, as her insides tightened around the toy.
You let her ride out her realise before you pulled from her.
With a tried sigh, you flopped down on the luxurious bed, besides the blissed-out royal.
“How you doing there?” Natalia nodded at you. As to say she was okay.
She came to cuddle into your chest.
Your hand was combing through her slightly damp, sex mused hair when the Queen spoke.
“I think it’s about time we came clean to everyone, about our relationship.”
“What?” you asked, shocked.
“Marry me.”
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voidcat · 4 years
Text
– “Friend” is a four letter word
Characters: Kuroo Tetsurou / gn! reader
requested by anon, prompt 1
wc & genre: 2k - mostly fluff, a bit angst by the end
a/n: the title is literally a 1 trait danger song title, pls dont come @ me, i just thought it was nice to use bc “love” is a four letter word so yea,, also pls dont ship ppl irl or ask them too many Qs abt their relationshio even if they look so good together n should date bc it is rlly rlly annoying (speaking from experience)
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The first you meet Kuroo Tetsurou, you don’t even notice.
It’s not surprising, he’s quiet and doesn’t gather attention. You don’t go looking around and keeping an eye on everyone either. The most is you’re just two fish in the vast sea, unaware of one another, too tangled with your own lives.
Then comes a moment, nothing special, almost out-of-a-movie type. It begins with a joke, if it can be considered that. It’s bad, awfully bad, a horrible pun in the middle of chemistry and from the volume of the voice you can tell they hoped no one would hear. But you do, so does few who sit next to him and your giggles dance around in the air. You don’t notice it’s him at that time but you grow to recognize his jokes in the following time.
Kuroo Tetsurou feels like a mystery when your eyes lie on him one afternoon. He’s not bad looking, a part of a sports team, a key member even. And yet compared to all the other jocks he doesn’t bask in the attention, in fact, he doesn’t receive any. Others like to brag and talk smug, as if they’ve discovered life in an inhabitable area and then there’s him. You can’t even tell he plays in the team if it’s not for the uniform and tracksuit he’s in after classes.
You think to yourself, if only jocks were like him. Still, you take no step and neither does he.
Maybe neither of you need to because the universe is more than happy to provide the nudge you both seem to need.
Funny enough it’s a science project that starts it.
He’s too quiet to your liking, speaking only when absolutely necessary. As you desperately try to kill the silence that hangs in the air, he avoids it as hard, making so little sound.
An idea comes as fast the lights are on and you speak before you even get to think ‘what’s there to lose?’
“No science puns for me? What happened, cat got your tongue?”
To say he is baffled, is the understatement of the year. You’re not sure if he’s surprised you’ve heard him joke or want to hear more of them; but either way, he looks cute, with his guard down, at a loss of reaction, mouth slightly open and – is that a hint of blush on his cheeks?
It only goes upwards from then on.
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Awkward conversations is how it begins, seeking each other out in close environments is where you’re leaded.
You find yourself enjoying the way he talks, listening to what he has to say, the way his face brightens up when he starts talking out of pure interest. You only hope he feels the same way about you, and from the way he often discreetly directs you to take the lead and pick the topic, he does.
In a short span of time, you two are attached from the hip. Inseparable, always doing something, going somewhere, discussing a thing or just laughing. Shy smiles replaced with a Cheshire-like grin, almost ironic considering your school’s name, that’s only a new expression on him that you like to see.
It feels freeing, natural; as the sea sighs, the rain drops hit the surface and the sun shines. Two peas in a pod, thick as thieves, inseparable…
This goes beyond high school and throughout university too, which you’re grateful for. Because times come when you wonder where would you be without him, what would you do without his support; so you thank the stars once again, for having him in your life even today.
Then comes the times you wish you didn’t spend as much time together because the people around are being insufferable. All you want is to hang out with your best friend but half that time is stolen away by the never changing questions. Those who keep asking if you’re together, as an item. As if it doesn’t rub the salt in the already existing wound, it sure makes things unbearable. Getting approached by people you never saw before is no fun, neither is dealing with those who have the audacity to think you owe an explanation about your love life.
“But why? The two of you spend all the time together! Sure you must be in love!”
As if platonic relationships do not exist, surely do you have to love someone in that way to care for them? Loving Tetsu is a case that matters to only you, you’re happy knowing he cares for you, maybe not in the way as you but at the end of the day, the bond is there in plain sight, on your sleeve.
“But you guys would look so good together! Have you given dating a try? I’m sure it’d work out! I understand if you want to keep things a secret but come on, you must have had something going on-“
Stop, stop, stop…
It gets exhausting after a while, showing its signs on you, the irritation high and your nerves are at the edge, he notices it not long after.
After a little persuasion, you spill it all out, ranting about the pent up anger you had bottled all week –month maybe. You don’t notice the way his shoulders slump as you talk and go on about the stupidity of the people. It misses your attention how he talks less than usual that day, even after the mini ranting session. You do, however, notice how he starts to act strange around you. More preserved, and not as chatty as much. Holding his touch and avoiding contact, not going out of his way to approach you any longer. This drives you crazy, hurts a part of you and you worry –what if he has grown bored of me? Did I do something to hurt his feelings? Does he like someone and avoids me to get in their eye? What has happened, what did I do wrong? And goes and goes and goes the worries and the dynamics shift in your friendship.
So with the change of dynamics, you try desperately to hold onto what you once shared. Soon enough it’s you who invites the other to outings.
When your coffee offers are denied, you bring up walks, after that study dates, as he tries to ignore one attempt of alone time, you come up with another and one evening you find yourself asking to go to a party.
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Campus parties with him, are interesting, to say the least. It stings when you’re separated, a punch to the stomach when he’s awfully close to those who were flirting with him, a new kind of torture when he keeps his talks with you short at the scene but at the end of the day you always leave, together, and you settle with this too, as you settled with all his love you could get years ago.
Some nights with booze apparent in the air, you don’t bug him with questions but each party gets worse somehow, only makes the distance between the two harder.
One night you snap and let it all out, unlike that afternoon it wasn’t an asked question but an aftereffect of him pushing your nerves and once you begin, you don’t stop, letting the storm out and he just looks at you.
You stop and his gaze stays, face devoid of any emotion and you worry, all the words you’ve said dawning on you and with one last attempt you whisper “Aren’t we friends?”
Voice calm and stern, colder than that icy cocktail you had: We’re not just friends and you fucking know it.
Holding back the tears by the corner of your eyes, you blink once and turn your back, steps set on your way. You can’t recall the last time you’ve walked home alone, without him.
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Some time passes, days begin to blur and you try not to dwell on things too much or think about him that much. But the brain is a traitor as much as your heart and you find yourself thinking about him too much to your liking. Not sure whether you want him to find you, you keep an eye out; maybe plan to get out of the eye sight when you spot that messy hair but there’s not much need as he’s never around.
At the same time you’re unaware that this is his way of giving you a break, providing the alone time you needed away from him; as Tetsu tries his best to gather his thoughts and shape the sentences to show how he truly feels, what he actually thinks, he keeps an eye out for you. Even the smallest of smiles on you making his racing heart worse but what lands the final blow is how rarely you smile these days. Knowing he is the reason behind, knowing he causes the weight on your shoulders and the ache in his heart, he wishes more than anything to change this as soon as he can but he is at a loss of words and actions and he hates himself for that.
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When the two of you are brought together once again, as fate pushes you from behind like it did years ago, you’re not sure who looks up first. But it is Tetsu who speaks first, not giving you a chance to say anything back, call him names or yell him insults. And as he talks, eyes focused on you, locked into yours, his gaze warmer than ever, his voice nothing like that disastrous night.
“I know I fucked up and ruined the best thing I’ve ever had in my life. I have nothing to blame but myself, I know, but please. Even though it’s selfish of me to ask this… Would you give me a second chance?”
Letting go of the breath you were holding, you prepare to answer him. He doesn’t let you.
“One last chance… To start over? Because that one sentence, as cold as it sounded, had a truth to it. And I- I just can’t do it anymore. I can’t go on and pretend like I don’t have- like I don’t have all these feelings in me. I can’t nod along to your rants about how much you hate the people perceiving the two of us as more than friends. ‘Cause you got to admit. They have a point. Maybe at the beginning, yes... But we’ve not been friends, not for a long while. And you know it too whether you want to say it or not.”
As if spoken without breathing once, considering this is Tetsu that was definitely the case ,he gulps and takes a step forward.
“Will you give me a last chance and let me show you how much I can love you? Free of this ‘just friends’ title. Would you let me take you on dates and make you laugh wide and loud? Not just as your friend but as your boyfriend? As your partner in crime and in life, as Persephone is the pastel queen of hell in the realm of Hades, the sun to my Icarus, the Sodium to my Chlorine?..”
His speech was getting to you until the last sentence, your softened body goes stone cold, hands hanging in the air, Tetsu’s last pleads of “would you let me?”s falling deaf to your ears.
The gears turn quick and he realizes exactly which one of his words could leave an effect like this, be so ridiculous and bring you to a halt.
One of those smug smiles you saw on his face often, he says “What happened, cat got your tongue?”
And your mouse hanging open, all you can do is smack him on the arm, as hard as you can, for that awful salt simile and for using your words on you.
Before you know it, both of you are laughing and the air feels warm once again.
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tags: @celosiiaa​ @boosyboo9206
54 notes · View notes
taelme · 5 years
Text
Don’t Need Your Love Club - Recruiting Now! (Welcome, Lee Donghyuck)
genre: high school!au, student council member!donghyuck, friends-to-lovers!au (fluff, angst with a happy ending, kind of mutual pining?) 
pairing/s: Haechan / Reader (ft dreamies and some other Kpop 00 line boys, and Gugudan Mina) 
word count: 17k+ 
tw: none! 
a/n: after the long wait...the final part is up!! thank u guys for being patient lol I hope this chapter was satisfactory,, so please enjoy~~ also none of my works are beta read sorry so feedback is very much appreciated heh under the cut bc its pretty long! 
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Lee Donghyuck was a selfish being. He was someone that joined the student council for the sake of being able to bend the rules, someone that had a way with words that managed to manipulate people into doing things for his convenience. And someone that never felt bad about guilt tripping somebody for his own gain. Even if that somebody was you. 
lee donghyuck 11:15am -r u coming for my match later- 
You rolled your eyes, sinking further down in your seat as you typed out a reply with one hand, hiding your phone under the table as you nodded along with whatever your teacher was saying. 
11:15am -you've asked me this already im trying to pay attention- 
You glanced over at Donghyuck's seat at the other end of the classroom, the teachers having separated your desks at the start of the term since the both of you were always distracted if you were seated near each other. Not that you weren’t still distracted when he was all the way at the other side of the classroom, clearly.
He was sitting with his body angled towards you, leaning against the wall with his head supported by his elbow on the table, his hair mussed up as he kept his gaze on the board while typing his reply to you. 
lee donghyuck 11:16am - wtv - 11:16am - was just checking if u rmb... - 11:16am - anyway r u buying me flowers- 
You cast a glance at him, seeing that his position had shifted now as he hunched over his desk, fiddling with his tie. Looking over to you, he'd met your gaze, quirking his eyebrows ever so quickly as he gestured discreetly at his phone, a small smirk on his face. 
11:16am -it's not like its a choir performance... i see u play all the time-
You swore you'd heard Donghyuck stop himself from whining, smiling sweetly at your teacher before he typed his reply to you. 
lee donghyuck 11:17am - but jisung said u were getting him flowers!! >:( - 
You pressed your lips firmly together in your attempt to suppress your smile, twirling your pen with one hand. 
11:17am - 1. thats bc jisung is my brother 11:17am -2. the flowers are from my mom bc its his first game.- 11:17am -from what i know, u r both not my brother n not playing ur first game = no flowers for u - 
lee donghyuck 11:17am - :(!!!!! - 
11:18am - what time do you have to leave? - 
lee donghyuck 11:18am – in 2 minutes -
11:18am - ok have a good practice see u later - 
You watched out of boredom as he'd already begun to pack his things, blatantly disregarding that the lesson was still going on (you were sure he'd ask you for the notes the following week). 
"Lee Donghyuck, you need to be dismissed, am I right?" your head turned sharply towards your teacher as her voice raised slightly. She never did try to hide her annoyance at Donghyuck having to skip lessons all the time because of volleyball matches or student council events. 
Donghyuck looked up from his bag, nodding with a smile as he zipped it up, slinging it over his shoulder. It didn’t help the teacher that Donghyuck simply loved to piss her off. 
"Alright, go," she waved him off. 
Bending down to hook his shoe bag and water bottle on his finger, Donghyuck turned to you to nod his head goodbye before he'd strolled leisurely out of the class. 
=== 
You'd retrieved the (awfully large) bouquet of flowers from your locker after school ended before heading to Donghyuck's volleyball match, having hitched a ride with Chenle so you could split the cab fare, despite Chenle's insistence that he could have paid for the both of you. 
"Is that for Jisung?" 
You gestured with your gaze towards the bag he was holding in his hand, earning a nod from him. Looking closer, you realised that it was a cup of Jisung's ever-so-specific drink order from the bubble tea shop near your school. 
"He seemed pretty nervous for today, thought it'd be nice to get him something small as a reward." 
The corner of your lips lifted into a smirk, a huff of amusement leaving you, "are you sure it won't be diluted by the end of the game?" 
Chenle's eyes widened, glancing between you and the drink as his lips parted, making you shake your head, ruffling his hair affectionately. 
"Don't worry, Jisung will probably still drink it anyway," you laughed. 
"Did you get those for Donghyuck, too?" He nodded with his head towards the bag you were holding.
You raised an eyebrow, following his gaze to realise he was gesturing to your bag containing Jisung's bouquet, almost forgetting you were carrying it. 
You shook your head.
"Nope, my mom got these for Jisung..." you trailed off, your mind wandering back to how Donghyuck was pestering you to get flowers for him, a strange feeling of guilt creeping up on you if you were to decide not to get him anything. 
Staring out of the car window, you tried to recall how much spending money you had left for the rest of the week.
"Chenle, do you remember if they have a florist near the venue?" 
You wanted to scoff at yourself. What was the special occasion anyway? 
It was just any other one of Donghyuck’s matches, yet you were only feeling extremely guilty now about not buying him flowers of all things to show your support. 
Chenle's lips pursed, shaking his head before taking his phone and keying in something. 
"Oh! There is! Says here that it's at the mall next to the stadium," your eyes widened, eyebrows furrowing slightly as you tried to read the details on the shop location on his phone. 
Chenle narrowed his eyes at you, "are you gonna get something for Donghyuck?" 
You scoffed at the way he was smiling at you, waving him off, "I'll see if it's within my budget." 
Finding the florist took you and Chenle long enough, the dainty shop having been tucked away at a far end of the mall, but picking out a flower took even longer. 
"What about this one?" Chenle pointed at a similar bouquet as to what you had for Jisung, a pretty bouquet of yellow and pink tulips. 
"Too expensive," you whispered just soft enough that the shop owner wouldn't hear, skimming over the bouquet and letting your gaze travel towards the bright sunflower bouquets. 
"And plus, Donghyuck likes sunflowers." 
"This one?" you asked Chenle, pointing at a small simple bouquet of a sunflower and baby's breath. 
Chenle let out a hum in approval, "oh, this is cute, yeah, sure you should get this!" he told you, nodding. 
You bid the thirty-over dollars in your wallet goodbye, mentally cursing Donghyuck for managing to guilt trip you into buying flowers for him. 
Grabbing the bouquet and shoving it into the same bag as Jisung's before practically jogging to the venue with Chenle, the both of you running late from spending so long at the mall. 
Struggling to keep up with Chenle, you saw him turn to you, waving his phone, "Jeno says they saved a seat for us!" 
You nodded, already out of breath as you let him lead you into the stands closer to where your school's team would be seated, spotting them doing warm-ups at the bleachers. 
Greeting Donghyuck’s friends, you’d seated yourself in between Chenle and Renjun, stretching your neck to look over the banners that the girls seated in front of you were holding, trying to find Donghyuck in the crowd of black volleyball jerseys. 
Jisung seemed to have spotted you, calling the said boy and pointing at your direction. Looking up in confusion, Donghyuck’s eyes searched the crowd before spotting you and his friends, the group of you waving enthusiastically (not to mention the girls in front of you as well who had immediately squealed when Donghyuck had smiled in their direction). 
Walking over to Jisung, the two had partnered each other for warm-ups, Donghyuck starting to get into his more serious mood as he would during his games. 
“Damn, look at Donghyuck. He’s just stretching but he looks so good,” your eyes widened when you heard the girl in front of you lean over to divulge to her friend. 
Chenle turned to you with raised eyebrows, not-so-secretly pointing at the girl with an expectant look on his face. 
“What?” You scoffed. 
“You’ve got some competitors,” he told you, erupting into a burst of laughter causing the girls to turn around, eyeing Chenle in shock. 
Nodding apologetically to them, (though you weren’t all that sorry), you leant over to Chenle slightly and dropped your voice to a murmur. 
“They can have him. I’m sure his ego would explode.”
Renjun turned to you, seemingly interested in your conversation.
“What are you guys talking about?”
Chenle butt in quickly, “I’m telling Y/N to claim her man!”
Your eyes widened, shooting Chenle a warning glare.
Renjun’s lips formed a thoughtful pout, “Donghyuck?” 
You scoffed, “I don’t know what you guys are talking about, Donghyuck and I are just friends.” 
You grimaced at the thought of you and Donghyuck ever dating, the thought itself enough to make your insides stir. 
Was it supposed to do that? Maybe you were having indigestion. 
Chenle made a face, trying hard but not doing a very good job to hide his scepticism, seeming to disagree with you. 
“Ouch, hope Donghyuck never has to hear that,” Renjun laughed, seeming to distrust your words as well. 
Rolling your eyes, you kicked the bag of flowers under your seat, not wishing to see them and let your thoughts wander even more. 
Shaking your head, you’d tried to focus on the game as much as you could despite the incessant commentary coming from in front of you of ‘oh Donghyuck’s this, Donghyuck’s that’. As much as you were glad that he had people who liked him instead of hating him, you couldn’t help but wish you could shield Donghyuck from their view, their drooling over him growing distracting as time passed. 
You tried your best, for Donghyuck’s sake, to look past your annoyance and focus on the game, even though you couldn’t say you knew what was happening, having not paid much attention when Donghyuck had tried explaining the different roles of his team members to you on countless occasions. 
To you, you would cheer when the girls sitting in front of you cheered. That was safest. 
Aside from cheering, you would never fail to return the little proud smile Donghyuck would give you after a shot he was particularly proud of, something inside of you feeling heavy with the memory of Renjun and Chenle’s previous words, wondering if it was normal to feel so enamoured when you were looking at your friend smile at you from the court like that. 
You were starting to grow anxious as the game neared its end, your leg starting to bounce as you saw the girls in front of you starting to prepare their gifts, reminding you that you had a gift for Donghyuck too. 
You wanted to scoff at yourself. You weren’t sure where all your anxiousness was coming from. It wasn’t as if you guys weren’t close. You’d given him plenty of gifts, so what made the flowers so different? 
Friends give each other flowers all the time. Yeah, whatever, maybe that’s just my love language, you assured yourself, despite knowing very well that it wasn’t true. 
Startling in your seat when you heard the crowd erupt in cheers, you tore your gaze away from the girls in front of you, cursing inwardly when you realised the game had ended and you’d basically missed the final sequence. 
“Did you see that?” Chenle turned excitedly to you, beaming. 
Laughing nervously, you nodded, surprised he couldn’t tell you were lying with how blatant you were being about it. 
“Now we wait,” you heard Renjun sigh, leaning back in his seat with his hands in his lap just as the girls in front of you had stood up, practically running downstairs to head over to the lobby to wait for Donghyuck. 
“I wish they could just mail them to his house or something,” you yawned, bending over to pull the bag of flowers out from underneath your seat. 
Peeping in the box to check if any of the flowers were damaged, you nodded in satisfaction when you found that they were all still in good condition. 
“I can’t wait, I’ve gotta go meet my girlfriend,” Jeno confessed, a sheepish smile on his face, warranting much teasing from the boys. 
“I’m hitching a ride with him, what about you Renjun?” Jaemin added, slinging his bag over his shoulder, the two of them giving Renjun an expectant look. 
Renjun looked almost contemplative, casting Chenle a glance before shaking his head, “nah, you guys go ahead, I can wait with them.” 
You walked with them along to the entrance of the venue, gripping the bag in your hands tightly, switching between holding Jisung’s bouquet in your hands and shoving it into the bag together with Donghyuck’s in your indecision. 
You watched as Chenle took a sip of the drink he bought for Jisung, an impressed pout on his lips as he nodded in approval. 
“Wow, I should give this place a good review, it still tastes pretty good even after all the waiting.” 
You shook your head with a huff, not being able to help the smile from your face, yet at the same time you were thankful Chenle was so calm while waiting, serving to help you calm your nerves as well. 
Renjun, however, was the opposite. Leaning against the wall you stood at, he shook his fringe away from his eyes as he let out a loud sigh, his features pinched in annoyance. 
“What’s taking him so long?!”
You laughed, “they’re probably still taking group pictures.” 
You could already imagine it, the way Donghyuck would pose ridiculously with his teammates, anticipating the shots he would show you later on. 
You tried to ignore the way the girls who had sat in front of you were now anxiously fixing their hair while waiting for Donghyuck, practically squealing in their giddy anticipation. 
Soon enough, (and thankfully before Chenle could drink too much of Jisung’s drink), you’d watched the double doors open, Donghyuck’s teammates walking out, your eyes widening when you saw who was next to him. 
Chenle had summoned Jisung over quickly, giving you a chance to calm down your racing heart that Hyunjin and Donghyuck were beginning to approach Renjun. 
Your excitement was short-lived, the girls having ambushed him before he could reach Renjun, holding out their small presents for him. 
“Donghyuck you were so cool today! You played so well!” 
“Yeah! You look really cool when you play!” You heard another girl chime in. 
Suppressing your feelings of annoyance, you decided to ignore them for the time being, tuning out their words as you tried to focus on your task at hand. 
“Here,” you shoved the flowers to Jisung, his eyes wide as he sipped on the drink Chenle got him, a surprised smile making its way on his face. 
“You bought these?” He mumbled through his mouthful of tapioca pearls, shaking his head to arrange his hair, though it didn’t do much since it was already messy from playing, sticking out at strange places. 
Rolling your eyes, you ignored the way Donghyuck was tugging on your hand, asking for your attention. 
“No, they’re from mom,” you shook your head, “anyway, are you two going out after this?” 
Chenle gave you a pleading smile, making you scrunch your nose up with a smile. You were never one to say no to Chenle. 
“Alright, go, just remember to tell mom you’ll be late, okay?” You reminded, watching as Jisung’s mouth fell agape in realisation, nodding appreciatively at you before he started to walk off with Chenle. 
Trying to keep your tone steady, you’d finally turned around to face Renjun, Hyunjin and Donghyuck. 
Your breath hitched at the sight of Hyunjin, whose stoic expression changed to a smile to greet you, bringing a hand up to wave at you. 
“Hey,” he huffed. 
“Hi,” you cursed yourself at how breathless you sounded, raising your hand despite Donghyuck’s fingers gripping tightly on the sleeve of your school sweater. 
You missed the offence in Donghyuck’s glare, said boy unable to believe that you were paying more attention to Hyunjin than you were to him at the moment. 
Like you said, Donghyuck was selfish, and he couldn’t stand the fact that Hyunjin was getting more attention from you than he was. 
What was this, a smiling contest? 
Donghyuck wanted to scoff, tightening his grip on your sleeve, though it didn’t seem to bother you, your mood seeming to have lifted just from seeing Hyunjin. 
Renjun seemed to have sensed Donghyuck’s tension, trying his best as he tried to divert your attention back to Donghyuck, trying to signal to Hyunjin that it would be better to leave the two of you alone. 
“Hey, yeah so you were telling me about that thing just now?” Renjun interrupted whatever strange exchange you were having with Hyunjin. 
His sudden question made Hyunjin’s eyebrows lower in confusion, earning a desperate look from Renjun (which you’d missed while you were busy looking at the pretty earrings Hyunjin was wearing). 
Donghyuck caught on quickly to Renjun’s intentions, the latter discreetly waving his hand in a silent plead for him to go ahead. 
“Right, okay, we’ll be off now. Bye!” Donghyuck beamed, his grip moving to your wrist before pulling you out of the venue. 
“Why’d you leave so quick? I was having a great time,” you scoffed, stumbling once he’d let you go, regaining your balance ungracefully, dropping the bag of flowers with a gasp. 
Donghyuck rolled his eyes, straightening out his jersey as if you’d gotten it messed up when he’d dragged you out from the venue. 
“Yeah, I could tell. I could see your heart eyes for Hyunjin from a mile away,” he scoffed, “actually, now that I’m thinking about it...” he helped you up, looking elsewhere as he pretended to be upset at you. 
You dusted off the bag, flinching away when Donghyuck had turned abruptly to face you. 
“Do you just come for my games as an excuse to drool over Hyunjin?” 
You grit your teeth, huffing as you shoved the bag containing his bouquet towards him, hitting him in the chest with your fist as you did so. Letting out a dramatic whine in feigned hurt, his eyes widened at the sight of the bag, his hand wrapping around yours and tugging the bag out of your grip. 
“What’s this? For me?” His smile grew, holding his shoe bag between his elbow and his waist, opening the bag and pulling out the bouquet with a slow gasp, his expression abruptly dropping, “please tell me these weren’t from your mom.” 
You groaned, walking ahead of him, “they weren’t. I bought them.” 
Donghyuck’s lips pressed against each other firmly, poorly concealing his smile, taking his phone out and holding it out as if about to take a selfie, beckoning you over with the bouquet. 
“Come here, I need evidence that this happened.” 
You tried to maintain your glare, though you couldn’t help the smile from your face, reaching over to take his shoe bag and water bottle from him, carrying it behind your back so it wasn’t visible in the picture. Taking the picture quickly, Donghyuck smiled at his handiwork. 
“You’re an ass, you know that? I spent the rest of my week’s allowance on your stupid flowers,” you laughed, swinging his shoe bag as you walked, turning to him with a smile, not being able to stay annoyed at him with how happy he looked. 
Maybe you weren’t so upset about spending your money on the flowers anymore. 
Donghyuck brought the flowers beneath his nose, inhaling and letting out a sigh of contentment, glancing at you before looking back down, pulling his phone out in his attempt to appear as nonchalant as possible. 
“Thanks,” he murmured. 
“Whatever. You played really well today,” you told him, “well, not that I understood what was happening during the game, but the girls just now seemed to have thought so too,” you shrugged, turning to him with a playful grin on your face. 
Clearing your throat, you tried your best impression of the girls that had approached him just now, “oh Donghyuck! You’re so cool when you play! You look so hot when you’re serious!” 
Donghyuck scoffed, trying to hide his blush by pretending to act busy booking a car for the both of you. 
“They never said that second part,” he scoffed. 
You shrugged, “yeah, well you didn’t hear them during the game. I never knew till now that you had so many girls thirsting over you,” you crouched down next to him, tired from standing. 
“Yeah, like how you thirst over Hyunjin?” He shot back, “anyway, the car’s coming in 5 minutes.” 
“Okay,” you acknowledged, “and by the way, I don’t thirst over Hyunjin.”
Donghyuck made an obnoxious sound to imitate you, folding his arms before he used his knee to nudge you, making you lose your balance and fall onto your bum. 
“Yeah, sure,” he drawled, a smug smirk on his face. 
The both of you sat in a fatigued silence until the car had arrived, Donghyuck having entered before you, setting the flowers carefully on his lap, fiddling with the packaging of the bouquet. 
You watched as he brought his phone up to check the time, swiping accidentally and revealing his reminders, one of them being ’29 days to my birthday!’ not being able to help the smile from your face.
“Are you having a party this year?” You asked, seeing him nod, yawning loudly as he shoved his phone back into his pocket, making you cast a worried glance towards the driver to see if Donghyuck’s volume had annoyed him. 
“Yeah, on the day itself. It’s a Sunday. Can you make it?” You frowned. 
“I was supposed to go visit my grandma that week, but I have to check with you again,” you told him, seeing his features pull into a frown. 
“Can grandma wait a few days more?” He sulked, and you turned your gaze away from the window to look at him in both disbelief and amusement, almost knowing he would have said that. 
You saw him leaning closer to rest his head on your shoulder, pulling his phone back out to change the subject, not wishing to let himself feel upset at the thought that you might not be able to make it for his birthday party. 
“Look, I came out really well in the pictures we took just now,” Donghyuck showed you the group picture of his volleyball team, making you zoom into where he was, conveniently standing next to Hyunjin. 
Donghyuck seemed to have realised this, swiping the picture so you were only able to see him in the photo, making you laugh, shoving his phone away. 
“Have you figured out what you wanted for your birthday?” You asked, trying to turn your head in an attempt to see his face better but not doing a very good job, giving up and settling on looking at his fingers which were touching the sunflower petals gently. 
Donghyuck thought off of the top of his head, wanting to slap himself when his first thought was that he’d wanted a kiss from you. He was definitely spending too much time with Jaemin. 
“No, I’m not sure yet,” he yawned, snuggling more into you, and you’d relaxed your shoulder in your hopes to make him feel more comfortable. 
You nodded, “think about it, okay? Let me know so I can get it for you.” 
You were thankful that you were already reaching your house, since Donghyuck was already beginning to doze off after a short period of silence, his head slowly sliding down your shoulder before he would jerk back awake and resume his previous position. 
Eventually, he’d pulled his head away from your shoulder, bringing his hand up to push his hair away from his forehead haphazardly.
“I’m so tired.” 
“Maybe you should try to sleep early today, you don’t have to wake up early tomorrow, do you?” 
He sighed, pausing before groaning, possibly with more anguish than his sigh, “I do. I’ve got some stupid student council thing tomorrow that I’ve got to be in school early for.” 
You gave him your best look of pity, “on a Saturday?” 
He nodded gravely, “we’re hosting the student council members from other schools too. I wouldn’t go if I had a choice but they’re giving me credits for attending, and you and I both know I need all the credits I can get,” he sighed, sinking down in his seat. 
Donghyuck noticed how you’d begun to gather your things, a part of him wishing he hadn’t fallen asleep so he could’ve talked to you more. 
Feeling the car start to slow down, he’d given you a tired smile, “bye.” 
You nodded, waving him goodbye before exiting the car. 
=== 
The next time you’d met Donghyuck was during lunch in school the next Monday, you were seated with your friends at your usual table in the cafeteria, away from the crowd so it wouldn’t feel stuffy but also in a position where you would have a direct view of almost everyone in the cafeteria. 
“Can you come for my finals match?” was the first thing he’d asked you upon squeezing himself next to you on the bench, your eyes falling onto his absence of his badge above his breast pocket. 
“Name tag,” you reminded out of habit, seeing him glance down at his chest before fumbling in his pocket to pull out his name tag, pinning it onto his shirt with haste. 
“It’s next week,” he told you, “on a Friday,” he added as an afterthought. 
You nodded, “I don’t think I have anything planned that day, for now.” 
“Okay, great. Text you later,” he beamed, about to leave when you’d grabbed his wrist before he could. 
“Are you not eating?” 
Donghyuck paused to process what you were asking, momentarily thrown off by your hand on his forearm, not to mention the way he’d almost let his heart flutter at your concern, shaking his head a little belatedly. 
“No, yeah. I’m eating with the dnyl guys,” you nodded slowly, letting go of his arm before waving him off. 
“Bye,” he left quickly, strangely excited after receiving the news that you would be able to go for his match, especially since it was his final match for your national competition among the different schools. 
Jogging over to the empty classroom he’d opened for the dnyl club to meet, he’d barged into the class, shocking Renjun with his loud entrance. 
“Oh my God, I thought you were a teacher,” his hand flew to cover his chest where his heart was, glaring at Donghyuck. 
The boy remained unapologetic, taking a seat at one of the tables they’d pushed together to form a misshapen circle. 
Pulling his phone from his pocket, he’d set it on the table. 
“So, did you ask them about your match?” Jaemin asked, tearing open the packaging of his bun. 
“Yep,” Donghyuck smiled. 
“Are you referring to Y/N?” Jeno asked, setting his phone down when it was still open on one of his battleground rounds, his interests clearly not being in his match anymore. 
“Yeah,” Donghyuck murmured, reaching over to grab a bun from the bag on Jaemin’s table. 
“How’s things going with her?” Jeno continued, making Donghyuck shrug, suddenly focused on getting the packet of bread open, 
“What do you mean?” 
Donghyuck sighed, at the difficulty of tearing the packaging open or at the topic, he wasn’t too sure. 
“You know, didn’t you have this whole plan to win her over by your birthday?” Jaemin chimed in, sensing Jeno’s confusion. 
Renjun eyed Donghyuck carefully as he saw his phone light up with notifications, Donghyuck glancing at his phone briefly before looking away almost in disappointment. 
“Who’s texting you?” Renjun murmured, earning confused looks from Jeno and Jaemin for changing the topic so quickly. 
Donghyuck managed to tear an opening in the packet with his teeth, taking a bite out of his bun, “oh, this girl I met on Saturday that was helping out at the student council event.” 
“Oh, do you guys have to do like a project together or something?” Renjun asked, though he knew better than to think Donghyuck actually did things for the student council. 
Donghyuck shook his head. 
“Nope, we’re just like..talking. She’s pretty nice, and like, fun I guess. She’s pretty popular too” he shrugged. 
Jaemin’s mouth fell open, looking almost offended, “what about Y/N?” 
Donghyuck shrugged, “what about her?” 
Jeno gave Renjun a surprised look, the both of them glancing back at Jaemin quickly to see what Jaemin would respond with. 
The latter scoffed, not seeming to understand Donghyuck’s logic this time. 
“Oh, well, maybe because if I were you and I really liked someone, I wouldn’t be hitting on other girls?” 
Donghyuck rolled his eyes. 
“I’m not...hitting on her, we’re just talking, that’s all there is to it.” 
Renjun let out a low whistle, the discomfort of the tension between Jaemin and Donghyuck feeling heavy in the room. 
“Whatever you say, man.” 
“Look, I do like Y/N. I really really do. But how am I supposed to know if things are gonna work in my favour in the end? I mean, I know I can try but, I’m putting myself up to get hurt too, you know?” 
Once again, Donghyuck proved that he was selfish, afraid to wear his heart on his sleeve like how Renjun did. Protecting it was first priority, especially when he still wasn’t clear on how you felt. 
Jeno pursed his lips, nodding slowly, huffing. 
“Well, I guess that’s what we’re here for. Think about it, you’re the only one out of the four of us that doesn’t have a girlfriend yet. If anything, our advice would be for your benefit, not the other way around.” 
Donghyuck wanted to groan. He wanted to believe them, he really did. But a part of him couldn’t shake the way even Hyunjin seemed to have more odds in winning you over than he did, the feeling of fighting a losing battle. 
But ultimately, Donghyuck nodded, dismissing the topic, “yeah, whatever. I don’t need love, right? That’s the whole reason Harvey made me join this stupid club anyway.” 
In other words, the only reason why Donghyuck joined the club was because he realised that seeing your stupid smile went from feeling familiar to feeling unfamiliar, and it was the kind of unfamiliar that Donghyuck knew was akin to the heart-pounding, time- slowing love that movie protagonists always went on about. 
And he figured he’d might as well surround himself with stories of unfortunate love lives, because he knew his was screwed. 
The boys exchanged knowing looks with each other, choosing to brush the topic off for Donghyuck’s sake. 
“So, how’s preparation for your match been going?” 
=== 
“I still can’t believe mom asked you to tag along,” you huffed, pushing the shopping cart with your body as you strolled past the cereal aisle, Jisung dumping several boxes into the cart. 
“Yeah, well, it’s not like I wanted to spend my night getting groceries with the both of you,” he glanced at the list on his phone your mom had sent him. 
Donghyuck was ahead of the both of you, looking at the party items in the other aisle. 
“Why’s he buying his birthday stuff so early, anyway?” Jisung asked, making you smile. 
“He’s excited. It’s best to leave him be.” You glanced down at Donghyuck’s phone, reading the list and checking off the items you already had. 
“How many people are you planning on hosting?” You called, getting Donghyuck’s attention successfully as you strolled over towards where he was in the supermarket. 
Donghyuck hummed, holding a long bag of plastic cups in his hand as he did his mental calculations. 
“Well, there’s the volleyball team, there’s some people from the student council, the guys and their girlfriends...some classmates—” 
You pulled out another bag of cups, handing it over to Donghyuck, “just get two to be safe.” 
“Does that mean I get to drink too?” Jisung asked, his eyebrows raising. 
You shot him a look, making him raise his hands in surrender.
“Forget I asked.” 
“So...if your volleyball team’s going, does that mean Hyunjin’s going too?” You asked, already anticipating Donghyuck’s reaction, not being able to help your giggle when you saw him look at you blankly. 
“If you keep this up, it’s gonna be the volleyball team minus Hyunjin.” 
You scoffed, “hey, I’ve gotta have something to look forward to, right?” 
Donghyuck pulled the end of the shopping cart towards another section, “is it not enough to look forward to the fact that it’s a celebration of my entering into this world?” 
Rolling your eyes, you looked back at the list of items on Donghyuck’s phone, about to retort with something witty when you saw an unfamiliar contact appear on the phone, frowning before reluctantly holding the phone out for Donghyuck to take. Mina? 
“Someone’s calling you,” you told him, Jisung bending over to read the contact name before giving you a confused look, expecting you to know who they were. 
There was a sinking feeling in you when you saw the way Donghyuck’s demeanour had changed upon reading the contact, taking the phone from you roughly and answering it, the tone of his ‘hello’ already making you question just who this person was that Donghyuck was so quick to answer. 
“Hey," he murmured, smiling at something whoever it was on the phone was saying to him. 
"Who is it?" Jisung whispered, making you shrug. 
"How would I know?" you shrugged, trying to listen in on the conversation but not being very successful. 
"Yeah, no I'm alright to talk," you heard him say, "nothing, I'm just out with my friends." 
You pretended to be occupied with the items in the shopping cart, oblivious to the way Jisung was eyeing the both of you. 
"Yeah, actually it's for my birthday party. Do you wanna come? It's on the 6th," he murmured, fiddling with the disposable plates he'd just picked up. 
Was he blushing? You couldn't believe the feelings of annoyance that were building in you at the sight of him. 
Since when was Lee Donghyuck so shy talking to his friends on the phone? 
You scoffed, getting Donghyuck's attention unintentionally, the boy looking at you expectantly. You chose to ignore his look, much to Jisung's shock. 
Jisung whipped his phone out discreetly, deciding that desperate times called for desperate measures. 
7:08pm -do u know anything abt this person called mina?- 
chenle 7:08pm -jeno says its the girl donghyuck's talking to- 
7:08pm -but doesnt he like y/n?- 
chenle 7:08pm -yeah he does but jeno says hes being a wuss... n personally i think y/n's in denial too- 
7:08pm - sure seems like it.. donghyuck's on a phonecall with her now n y/n looks more than pissed- 
chenle 7:09pm -maybe u shld ask y/n abt it later n see what she says- 
Shoving his phone back into his pocket, Jisung watched silently as Donghyuck ended his phone call, his smile lingering on his face a little too long for your liking. 
"Who was that?" you asked, hoping the edge in your voice wasn't too obvious. 
Unfortunately, it was, and Donghyuck couldn't help but let his smile grow at the thought of you possibly being jealous that he was talking to her.
"Oh, just this girl I've been talking to. Met her at the student council event that day." 
You scrunched up your nose, letting out a small sigh, "cool...so she's going for your party too?" 
Donghyuck narrowed his eyes at you, a small smirk playing at his lips. 
"Uh-huh. Why? Is there an issue?" he drawled, leaning over the side of the trolley to bring his face closer to yours. 
Yes, there was an issue. 
Although Donghyuck may be unapologetically selfish at times, you, for one, were not. You didn't think it was very supportive of you to be so possessive over Donghyuck. I mean, it's a good thing that he's meeting people, isn't it? It's not like we're dating, there's nothing to be jealous about. 
"No issue," you rolled your eyes, pushing the cart past him to head to the cashier. 
"What's up with her?" Donghyuck laughed, hoping Jisung would give him some insight on your feelings. 
Jisung gave Donghyuck a look of sheer disbelief. 
"What's up with you!" Jisung whispered harshly, confused as to what Donghyuck's intentions were. 
"Oh, so you're gonna shit on me for it too?" 
Jisung gave him a look, "not without reason.”
"Look, trust me. I got it covered. The last thing I would want is to fight with Y/N, alright?" 
Jisung glanced at you while you sulkily scanned your items at a self-checkout register, directing his gaze back to Donghyuck with a sigh. 
"I know, just....be careful." 
Later on that night, (or morning), Jisung had gone downstairs to grab a snack from the fridge, spotting you lounging on the sofa, practically glaring at the television. 
"What's up?" Jisung's voice snapped you out of your annoyed state, after being told that this Mina girl he was talking to was not only awfully pretty and sporty by your friends who knew her, but that her personality meshed well with Donghyuck's. 
"Nothing," you sighed, seeing Jisung raise his eyebrows, thinking back to what Chenle had told him and figuring now would be a good time to ask you. 
"Are you sure? You looked kind of upset since Donghyuck picked up that call." 
Your eyes widened, not realising your feelings had been so obvious. Shrugging, you'd fiddled with your phone. 
"What are you trying to say?" 
Jisung averted his gaze, sitting on the sofa next to you, hugging one of his knees to his chest. 
"Do you like Donghyuck?" 
You scoffed, almost choking on your saliva, looking at him with wide eyes. Opening your mouth, you closed it back again for lack of a good response. 
"'Cause....you know, it's kind of obvious that he likes you.”
You shook your head, huffing in amusement, "I don't know what you're talking about." 
"No, like really. The volleyball guys all think so, and so do his dnyl guys," you furrowed your eyebrows. 
"Volleyball guys? So Hyunjin knows this too?" you asked, wondering how ridiculous it would've seemed that you were so smiley towards him even when Donghyuck was right there. That is, if what Jisung was saying was correct. 
Jisung rolled his eyes. 
"Yes, I'm pretty sure he knows." 
You gasped lightly, "how many people even know about this? Okay, but, whatever that’s kind of beside the point. What makes you so sure?" 
Jisung contemplated telling you about just how much he mentions you or asks about you in their conversations, or how Donghyuck was visibly more affectionate whenever you were involved. Even how Donghyuck had been trying different ways to get your attention, particularly through inviting you to his games (but that didn't seem to be working out with how little you paid attention during the last one). 
Eventually, he figured it would be better if he didn't put ideas in your head, deeming it better that you figure it out on your own. 
"I'm just sure, okay? Maybe you should try just observing and seeing how much he does for you.” 
Jisung shrugged, getting up from the sofa, "maybe then you'll realise you like him too," he snickered, running up the stairs before you could respond. 
You rolled your eyes, going back to glaring at the television. Except this time, your gaze kept wandering to your phone. Curse Jisung for making you curious. 
Almost as if on cue, you’d received a text from Donghyuck. 
lee donghyuck 12:34am -u awake?- 
You had a few options in your head. Firstly, to ignore him and pretend you were asleep. Secondly, to reply him and bring up what Jisung had said as a joke. Thirdly, to just act like everything was normal yet not normal and that you weren’t totally scared that he was going to fall in love with Mina. 
The temptation to be selfish was there, of course, to just ignore the situation for the sake of your sanity and leave Donghyuck hanging. But you knew that your worry for him overrode all sorts of selfishness you could possibly give in to. 
For now, you’d chosen option three. 
12:35am -yeah, what’s up?- 
lee donghyuck 12:35am -can I call you?- 
You didn’t respond, choosing to find his contact on your own and dial his number. 
“Hey,” you sighed, hearing muffled sounds on his side before a small grunt and a thud, almost being able to picture Donghyuck
lying on his bed and talking to you, something about the mental image feeling endearing. 
“Hey.”
“What happened?” You asked, the question catching Donghyuck off-guard. 
Despite the countless number of times you’d called each other in the night like this, you’d never asked why, frankly not deeming it to be anything other than Donghyuck’s or your boredom. Only now, you were beginning to wonder if there were more to unfold behind these phone calls, and you were hoping Donghyuck would give you the answers. 
“Nothing, nothing happened, I just...like, you know...couldn’t sleep...and stuff.” 
You huffed, “you never sleep this early.” 
Donghyuck sighed, not knowing what came over him when he’d said his next words. 
“Do you want me to say I wanted to hear your voice for a while?” 
You fell silent, expecting to hear him follow up with a ‘kidding’ or a ‘because that isn’t why I called’, yourself growing anxious the more you didn’t hear anything else from him. 
Shifting on the sofa, you’d lay down and put Donghyuck on speaker, setting your phone next to your head. 
“Hello?” You heard him murmur, making you clear your throat. 
“Have you decided on what you wanted for your birthday?” You changed the subject quickly, trying to steady the beating of your heart. 
You heard him huff, his voice sounding tired.
“Yeah. I decided that...” Donghyuck caught himself before he could slip up like before, shaking his head quickly, “I want a plant.” 
Your eyebrows furrowed. 
“A plant?” 
“Yeah, like get me those, I don’t know like a plant I can take care of or something,” he panicked, “with a flower, like an orchid or something.” 
You frowned, nodding slowly as you tried to understand his sudden request. Meanwhile, Donghyuck couldn’t help the regret that washed over him that he’d wasted his birthday wish like that. 
“Okay, yeah. I’m feeling better now, goodnight.” 
Donghyuck hung up quickly, kicking his blanket in frustration, rolling over and burying his face into the pillow. 
Got it covered? Please. 
=== 
After much observation, you were starting to realise that Donghyuck meant many things to you, and you didn’t like how it took you a situation like this to figure it out. 
Firstly, with all his match preparations, Donghyuck was kept busy, but that didn’t mean that you wouldn’t receive all sorts of updates on him from Jisung at home. You were starting to wonder if he was a part of Donghyuck’s fan club as well. 
You were having your science lesson in the lab, Donghyuck being your lab partner (fortunately and unfortunately for you), the said boy looking more tired today than ever. 
“Are you alright? You look like shit,” you offered, pretending to be focused on removing your test tube from your beaker. 
“Feel like it too,” he brought his hand up to run it through his hair, “stayed up late last night to help Mina with this proposal she had to write up.” 
You scoffed, “you? Help her?” 
In your annoyance, you’d applied too much force on your tweezers, practically cutting your specimen before you could place it down. 
Donghyuck smiled, glancing at your annoyed expression after what happened to your leaf. 
“Yeah, what’s so shocking about that? I kind of owed her.” 
You stopped yourself from responding, deciding you shouldn’t be too bitter about their relationship. Shrugging, you shook your head in dismissal. 
“Nothing. I guess it’s nice that you guys can help each other out.” 
Donghyuck’s lips formed a surprised pout, his eyebrows raising slightly, not having expected you to be so gracious about it. 
“So, uh...have you told your grandma to postpone your visit?” He brought up later on when you were on your way back to class. 
You nodded, “yeah, I’m visiting her this weekend instead.” 
Donghyuck couldn’t help the smile from his face, looking elsewhere as he relished in the way the sun shone in through the corridors, the warmth mirroring what he’d felt building in his chest. 
“Nice.” 
You felt it too. The way his smile was like that of the sun rays he enjoyed so much, how it made you feel scared. Scared that you were so used to seeing him smile like that until now. 
You looked away quickly, hugging your books closer to your chest, accidentally brushing your finger against the paper, hissing when you’d felt a sting. 
Pulling your hand away from your books, you’d groaned at the sight of blood on your finger, making Donghyuck turn to you with wide eyes, his gaze falling onto your source of distress. 
The displeased sound that had left Donghyuck was even more obvious to you now, the way he’d gone to grab your wrist when you brought your hand to your mouth in your attempt to stop the bleeding. 
“You should be more careful,” he chided, making you nudge his arm away, his concern putting you on the spot even more now that you were getting confused over your feelings towards him. 
“It’s fine, it’s just a small paper cut.” 
Donghyuck furrowed his eyebrows, leading you back into the classroom and sitting you down on your seat, scuffling over to his desk and rummaging through his bag, pulling out a small pouch and making his way back to you. 
“I got these from Jaemin,” he grinned, squatting next to your desk as you turned to face him, watching closely as he pulled out a bright coloured, kid’s band-aid with Pororo the penguin printed on it. 
You lightly thumped him on the head, uncomfortable with the stares you were getting from the people sitting around you, wondering if they too thought that Donghyuck was interested in you. A part of you wishing now that Jisung hadn’t shed light on Donghyuck’s (possible) feelings for the sake of your sanity. 
“You’re being so dramatic, I don’t need a band-aid.” 
Donghyuck sucked in a sharp breath, his expression stern and unwavering, “shut up, just hold still.” 
He’d opened the band-aid, wrapping it carefully around your cut, leaning back with a satisfied smile to admire his handiwork. 
“All better,” he beamed. 
“Lee Donghyuck, please go back to your own seat,” you’d startled, your heartbeat audible in your ears, having barely noticed your teacher entering the classroom. 
Shoving Donghyuck away quickly and turning to face the front, your hands went up to press against your cheeks as Donghyuck calmly strolled back to his seat, giving your teacher a slow nod as he walked past her. 
Donghyuck had bid you goodbye before his training that day, telling you that he would call you that night because he had something to tell you. 
So you waited, you’d waited even though you knew that the volleyball team had gone out for drinks despite their game being the next day, running later than he’d estimated, and you waited until you ended up falling asleep with your phone in hand. 
Meanwhile, Donghyuck had gone home in a daze, partially giddy from excitement for his finals but also at the thought of what had happened earlier in the morning with you and your paper cut, not knowing that the small gesture was enough to send him reeling. 
Grabbing his volleyball, he’d flopped on his back onto his bed, tossing the volleyball in the air and catching it absently, thinking about what the volleyball team had brought up during dinner. 
“Y/N’s coming tomorrow for sure right?” Hyunjin had asked Jisung, a playful smirk on his face. This made Donghyuck narrow his eyes at Hyunjin, chewing on his noodles harshly. 
Jisung nodded, “yeah, I’m pretty sure.” 
“Why does it seem like her coming is so important to you?” Bomin laughed, making Donghyuck nod in agreement, nodding his head at Hyunjin in a challenging manner. 
“Isn’t it obvious? For Donghyuck’s sake,” Hyunjin smiled, his eyes forming small crescents as he did so. 
The sight would’ve been absolutely endearing for you, however, Donghyuck couldn’t help but scoff. 
“What do you mean ‘for my sake?’” Donghyuck huffed, narrowing his eyes at Jisung who had seemed to agree with Hyunjin as well. 
“You probably haven’t noticed, but...you play a lot better when she’s around.” 
Donghyuck sighed, laughing at the sheer absurdity of the situation. 
No amount of texts, calls or face-times with Mina would be enough to make Donghyuck change the way he felt about you, and it was a shame to him that he could only step out of his denial at this point of time. 
Yet, there was still a nagging fear of the possible awkwardness and tension that could arise if you didn’t reciprocate his feelings like how he assumed you did. A vicious cycle, really. 
Turning in his bed, he’d discarded the volleyball elsewhere in his room, taking his phone and unlocking it, his finger hovering over the phone app as he let his gaze fall on his wallpaper, the picture the both of you had taken on the day of his last match. The flowers were still on his tabletop, at this point, dried and ready to be displayed in his room however he wanted. 
Trying his luck, he’d called you, the ringing having woken you up from your slumber, picking up the phone call hurriedly. 
“Hello?” he huffed, already smiling without noticing. 
You hummed in response, too tired to form a coherent response. 
“Did I wake you?” 
“Uh-huh.” 
Donghyuck let out a small sigh, “sorry, just wanted to tell you to meet me tomorrow after my match ends.” 
You groaned, “you couldn’t have waited until tomorrow morning to tell me that?” 
Donghyuck had to stop himself from giggling at the sound of your voice, even if it was when you were annoyed at him. 
“No, I couldn’t. Goodnight,” he murmured, pulling his blanket up on his chest to hug it, closing his eyes in anticipation. 
“I hate you, goodnight.” 
Donghyuck shrugged, he figured he could live with that for now. His (rather irritable) lucky charm. 
=== 
You were running late. After Donghyuck had called the previous night, you struggled to fall back asleep due to your racing thoughts on possible things Donghyuck could have wanted to tell you. If anything, you’d probably only slept a few hours that night. 
Which was what landed you in this situation now, trying to get a cab from where you were at the bus terminal since you’d dozed off on the bus, even in spite of all the energetic music you were playing in your attempts to stay awake. 
Donghyuck should have seen it coming when you hadn’t answered his texts when he’d reached the venue. The match was already about to start and Donghyuck still couldn’t seem to spot you in the crowd. 
He’d stood up, looking frantically in the direction of where Chenle, Jeno, Renjun and Jaemin sat, mouthing with big movements, ‘where is y/n?’. A part of him growing even more anxious when he was met with shrugs and head shakes. 
“Lee Donghyuck, what are you doing? Go! The match is starting,” his coach’s voice rang in his ears, making him dismiss his feelings of anxiousness, trying to focus his thoughts on the game at hand. 
You were receiving many texts from the guys, all asking where you were, making you even more anxious that the cab driver wasn’t going any faster. 
As if that wasn’t bad enough, you’d met with bad traffic once you’d neared the venue, seeing as it was about time people were getting off work now, which only meant that you’d be close to missing the entirety of Donghyuck’s match, a horrible feeling of guilt stirring in you. 
You were sure Donghyuck would be mad at you, knowing how petty he was when it came to things like these. The last time you hadn’t been for his match, he’d never let you live it down, claiming he was so upset you hadn’t shown up and couldn’t focus on his playing properly. 
Little did you know, the same thing was happening now, Donghyuck was trying his best to not let his feelings interfere with his performance. 
After a particularly successful top-spin serve that had caught the other team off guard, since he’d usually played it safe, he’d turned on instinct to the direction his friends were seated at, expecting to see you there with a smile, his smile falling when he’d realised you still hadn’t arrived. 
You were barely reaching the venue when you’d gotten a text from Chenle. 
Chenle 6:11pm - are you still showing up? The match just ended - 
Looking out the window, your heart sank when you saw some people you recognised to be from your school walking on the pavement next to where you were, your attention diverted back to your phone when you heard another chime from your phone. 
Jisung 6:11pm -hey, where r u? Donghyuck said he’d wait for u at the back entrance. Me n the guys r leaving for dinner cause he told us to head over first- 
Your leg started to bounce in anxiousness once again, gritting your teeth before deciding that you couldn’t afford to waste any more time. 
“Uh, sir? I’ll just get off here,” you murmured, “can you unlock the doors, please?” You blurted. 
The man looked at you curiously, “are you sure? It’s quite a far walk.” 
“It’s alright! Thank you anyway,” you smiled politely, waiting for him to unlock the doors, immediately shoving the door open once he did and exiting, slinging your bag around your shoulder and running to the back entrance. 
Spotting him from afar, relief washed over you that he was still waiting. 
Running up to him, you almost hadn’t seen the girl standing in front of him, stopping yourself where you were, not wanting to interrupt them. 
Mina was currently standing in front of Donghyuck, asking him a question he frankly wasn’t paying attention to after having spotted you running from the entrance gate. 
“So....do you like me?” 
Donghyuck’s gaze was still on you, tearing his stare away from you reluctantly to look at Mina, his mouth moving before his head could process the situation. 
“Uhhh...yes?” 
Donghyuck immediately regretted his words, especially when he saw the smile Mina had given him, also because she didn't have to look twice to know he wasn't paying attention. 
Only when he'd agreed, Donghyuck knew that something about his decision didn't feel quite right, deciding that he'd explain his situation in more detail to Mina the next time they met so she wouldn't get the wrong idea. 
"So... I'll see you Saturday night then?" Donghyuck nodded. 
Bidding him goodbye, Mina had turned her head to look at you, bowing her head slightly in a greeting before walking off, leaving you standing there dumbfounded as Donghyuck made his way towards you. 
Glancing at the serious look he had on his face, you were expecting him to scold you, to tell you how upset he was that you hadn't shown up, not expecting him to give you a shy smile, bringing his hand up to smooth your hair down, after it having gotten dishevelled while you were running. 
"Was that Mina?" was all you could ask.
Donghyuck huffed, feigning hurt, "no ‘hello Donghyuck how was your match?’" 
"Hi," you added after his prompting, "what did uh..." your tongue wet your lips that were feeling awfully dry all of a sudden, "are you...mad at me?” 
Donghyuck shook his head, a small smile on his face, shocking you at how gracious he was being all of a sudden. 
“What did uh, you know, what did Mina ask you?” you cleared your throat. 
Donghyuck's hands were still cupping the sides of your head, "she asked me out." 
Your eyes widened, knowing his hands on your head hadn’t prevented you from hearing him loud and clear, a part of you dreading the answer to your next question but knowing you had to ask anyway, "did you say yes?" 
Donghyuck looked at you, taking the side of his lower lip between his teeth gently and letting go immediately after. Was he being selfish? 
Donghyuck nodded. 
His response seemed to have triggered a stream of thoughts in you, ranging from feeling sad to hating why you were sad at the news to desperately trying to suppress your emotions because Donghyuck was your friend and you should be happy for him, right? 
You pursed your lips, nodding slowly as you gave him a small smile, bringing your hands up to pull his hands off of your head. 
"That's great. I'm...really happy for you, she seems like a great girl." 
Donghyuck's eyebrows raised slightly, surprised at your reaction, having obviously expected you to react how you usually did, with passive aggressive comments and subtle hostility in your gaze. But none of that could be seen from you now, if anything, you looked almost....sad? 
"I think uh.. I'll skip out on dinner today, you and the guys can go ahead," you told him, "I kind of wanna go home and rest." 
Donghyuck nodded, not wanting to prod you more, a part of him feeling that you weren't in the mood for it today. 
He'd pulled his phone out while you walked to the front entrance, "I got you a driver, he's coming in 10." 
You heard your phone chime, taking it out to see the details of the driver Donghyuck had sent you. 
"How much do I owe you?" you asked, earning a disgruntled sound from him, shaking his head. 
"You don't owe me, consider it...compensation. For having to rush over here just now just to meet me." 
That reminded you.
"Right, I almost forgot. What was it you wanted to meet me to tell me?" 
Donghyuck swung his shoe bag, kicking the ground absently before he looked back at you, shaking his head with a small smile. 
"It's alright, forget about it," he waved you off in dismissal, "It's not important.”
You frowned. Not important? Lee Donghyuck, kept me worried all night just for something that's suddenly not important? 
You scoffed, folding your arms and looking elsewhere, your grip tight on your phone, making your knuckles almost turn white with how tight your hold was. 
"Go, you're gonna be late for the dinner," you told him, not being able to handle the sight of him with how mixed your feelings were. 
Donghyuck was hesitant, the slight raise of his eyebrows seeming almost disbelieving. 
"You sure?" 
You paused, not knowing why you even bothered giving this thought, decidedly nodding your head. 
"I'm sure." 
=== 
"Are you sure that's gonna work? Like....she won't be mad at you when she finds out or anything?" 
Donghyuck shrugged, sipping on his drink calmly. 
"Well, that's kind of the point. She wouldn't be getting mad unless she liked me," Donghyuck brought a finger to his temple, looking at Mina with a playful glint in his eye, internally claiming himself to be a genius for this idea. 
"So...your plan is to get her so mad that she confronts you?" 
Donghyuck nodded, grinning widely in the hopes that his optimism would convince Mina. 
Mina tilted her head hesitantly, looking down at her drink, "and you're sure this'll work." 
He nodded again, earning a resigned sigh from Mina. 
"Okay, fine. I'll do it. But only because you really like her, and I don't think I can handle seeing you silently pine over her any longer." 
Donghyuck's grin grew wider if that were even possible, clasping his hands together triumphantly, already feeling as though half of the battle was won. 
Pulling out his phone, he'd gone to his Instagram, because yes, Donghyuck wanted to make sure you would've seen it even when you were all the way at your grandma's house. 
Taking a picture of Mina and posting it, he'd chosen an intentionally ambiguous caption in the form of emojis just to push your buttons (knowing you would be frustrating yourself while trying to figure out what it means). 
"What's this?" Mina asked. 
Donghyuck wriggled happily in his seat, satisfied with his post once he was done, “phase one." 
And sure enough, Jisung never heard the end of your monologue called 'they should just get married while they’re at it but you know what I’ll just be happy for them: no big deal' 
=== 
After that day, you'd gone days without speaking to Donghyuck. And though that wasn't anything out of the ordinary, since your relationship was at a stage where you could go ages without seeing each other but still remain just as close, contacting each other often. 
However, this time it was different for you, knowing that the reason behind his packed schedule was his frequent meetups and study dates with Mina. 
As if Lee Donghyuck ever cared about studying. 
Donghyuck was currently laying on the floor of the school gym, having finished a particularly tiring training session with some of the guys from the volleyball team. 
“Are the rumours about you and that girl true?” Bomin asked, earning a loud groan of protest from Jisung. 
“Yeah, speaking of which,” he sat up from the floor with a grunt, his towel draped over his head as he pointed a finger at Donghyuck, “I’ve got a bone to pick with you. Are you dating Mina?” 
Donghyuck rolled his eyes.
“What if I said I was?”
Hyunjin frowned, his eyes narrowing in confusion, “didn’t you say you liked Y/N?” 
Donghyuck nodded, “I do.” He shrugged, fiddling with his shoelaces as his lower lip jut out in a pout unconsciously. 
“Then what’s going on with Mina?” Jisung’s tone was exasperated, not understanding how you could like someone as frustrating as Donghyuck. 
“It’s fake,” Donghyuck laughed, amused at how seriously everyone around him was acting, wondering if you were feeling equally as serious. 
Jisung fell silent, his mouth agape and his finger hanging in the air, not quite understanding the situation at hand. Hyunjin on the other hand, was quick to understand Donghyuck’s intentions, raising his eyebrows in surprise. 
“Is this to make her jealous?” He asked, earning a feigned look of uncertainty from Donghyuck. 
“Well, that’s the plan.” 
Jisung let his back fall back against the floor, kicking his legs and punching at the air with his arms as a sad whimper left his lips. 
“I hate you, Lee Donghyuck. I really do. It’s your fault I’ve been getting an earful from her recently,” he whined, getting up abruptly, draping his towel around his neck. 
Donghyuck’s eyes widened, “good. Hang in there a little more. It’ll be a matter of time before everything falls into place,” he reached over to pat Jisung on the shoulder, a sweet smile on his face. 
Hyunjin took his lower lip between his teeth, pursing his lips as he averted his gaze from Donghyuck, finally speaking. 
“I don’t think this is a good idea.” 
Donghyuck sighed, “You too? Just trust me, okay? I’ve known her for like...a long while now. And knowing her, she’d be crazy jealous if the guy she liked was doing this. And she wouldn’t be quiet about it either.” 
“You can’t just tell her you like her like a sensible person?” 
Donghyuck hummed, “I will, okay? Don’t worry about me, I’ve got it covered.” 
Jisung huffed, “yeah, right.” 
Sighing, Donghyuck had stood up, sighing as he bunched his towel up in his hands, beginning to walk over to his backpack. 
“I’ll be heading back now, gonna meet Mina to...discuss,” he waved, slinging his backpack over his shoulder and leisurely exiting the gym. 
9:48pm -hey, wanna come over to hang?- 
Donghyuck received your text while he was with Mina, hesitating before replying you. 
lee donghyuck 9:48pm -alright, you can pick ill be there soon- 
Figuring you shouldn’t jump to conclusions as to why he was still out even though Jisung had returned from the gym, you’d lounged on the couch, scrolling absently through social media while you waited for him to reply. 
Deciding to play some music while you waited, you’d begun to doze off when Donghyuck had arrived, the boy entering the house anxiously only to spot your head lolling around as you tried to fight your drowsiness. 
Walking over to where you were as carefully as he could, he leaned over, letting out a breathy giggle out of sheer affection, reaching out a hand slowly as he deliberated on whether he should wake you, feeling as though it would be selfish of him if he did just because he wanted to spend time with you. 
Unfortunately for him, Donghyuck had stepped on a pillow you'd pushed onto the floor previously, letting out a small yelp as he tried regaining his balance. 
You'd startled awake, looking up with wide-eyes at Donghyuck who had his hands stretched out beside him as he'd managed to stop himself from falling, looking at you with a sheepish smile. 
"Hey," he straightened up, his hands flopping down to his sides, letting out a small sigh. 
Funnily enough, it took you more than a few moments to realise you weren't dreaming. 
The sight of Donghyuck in his pyjama pants and a simple black t-shirt indicating that he’d showered before coming over, the way he’d smelled of his shampoo and looked ready for sleep had you in a daze, wondering how you’d let yourself get to the point where just looking at him was enough to send you spiralling with your thoughts. 
Shaking your head, you spoke, voice slightly hoarse, “sorry, kind of fell asleep while I was waiting," you brought your hands up to rub at your eyes with your palms, letting out a small yawn. 
Reaching over to grab your phone, you’d turned your music off as you regained your composure. 
Donghyuck took a seat next to you, shifting his body so he could face you more, one of his hands resting on the back of the sofa comfortably. 
“Are you tired? Do you want me to come over another time?” He murmured, earning a firm shake of the head from you. 
“It’s fine,” you dismissed the thought quickly, not adding the part where you had missed him. 
Donghyuck nodded, leaning back so his head was resting on the plush armrest of the sofa comfortably, reaching over for the remote control and turning the television on, turning on a movie the both of you had probably watched a million times but never gotten sick of. 
“Did you go anywhere before this? I was wondering what was taking you so long when Jisung came home earlier,” you mumbled out of curiosity, leaning back comfortably on the sofa in a position that mirrored Donghyuck’s, your legs bent at the knees and leant against the sofa next to his, which were stretched out fully. 
You’d felt one of his hands rest just above your knee comfortably, his thumb rubbing your leg gently. 
Donghyuck glanced briefly at you before directing his gaze back to the television, “oh, you know, just went to meet Mina for dinner.” 
You nodded slowly, a low hum leaving you, “oh...cool.” 
He seemed happy. You didn’t want to make him feel bad about being with Mina just because you had a problem with it. You’d never even thought much about him at first, it wouldn’t have been fair if you just claimed him as yours when he was already in a relationship with Mina, you figured. 
Donghyuck sighed, his hands stretching out in a force of habit gesture he would use to beckon you to cuddle with him, only now realising that that may not have been all that appropriate considering he was supposed to be pretending to date Mina. 
“That’s nice. I’m really happy for you that you found someone like her,” you mustered with a small smile on your face. 
You’d sensed his reservation too, feeling as though you were both being banished to either end of the sofa, not allowed to go any closer. 
Donghyuck frowned, your reaction seeming to have been unsatisfactory for him. 
“Really? You’re not like...mad or anything?” he prompted, making you laugh. 
“You sound like you want me to be mad,” you huffed, flustering Donghyuck into opening and closing his mouth, fumbling with his words. 
“I mean like, no, like, you are entitled to feeling however you want about it, like...” he stopped himself, “you’re really not mad?” 
You sighed, turning away from the television to look at Donghyuck, who was already looking at you bewildered. 
“Look, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t bothered by the fact that you’re a lot busier now, but what kind of friend would I be if I couldn’t even support you when you’re happy with her?” 
Donghyuck shut his lips tightly, not knowing how to react to your statement, wondering if he was wrong to assume that you had feelings for him. 
You hummed, letting your legs rest over his slightly as you turned your body to face the television. 
Donghyuck inhaled deeply, debating on whether or not now would be a good time to tell you, but knowing that it would put you in a tight spot since he hadn’t ended things with Mina yet. 
Today, Donghyuck figured he shouldn’t be selfish. 
Choosing not to pursue the topic more, Donghyuck had let you continue to watch the movie. Though as you did so, laughing and cooing at the happy and sad parts of the movie, Donghyuck couldn’t keep his gaze from wandering to you from time to time. As if it was second nature for him to gauge your reaction during the comedic parts just to make sure you were enjoying yourself. 
Or maybe, it was just an excuse to look at you, the line had blurred a long time ago for him. 
Only later on in the movie, Donghyuck couldn’t help but let his thoughts wander to how you felt towards his (fake) relationship, picking up his phone to distract himself only to see the many texts that had flooded in from the dnyl chat group. 
renjun 12:59am - donghyuck what is this about you and mina - 
jeno 12:59am – yeah! I heard from chenle abt it...- 
renjun 1:00am - I think this is possibly the worst idea you’ve ever had - 
jaemin 1:00am – I don’t want to lie to y/n >:( 1:00am – - im gonna tell Harvey -
jeno 1:02am – same! n btw chenle said she felt rly bad about missing ur match –
renjun 1:02am – jeno idk how that’s relevant but sure we’ll take it –
jaemin 1:03am – a part of me is kind of curious how this would play out at hyuck’s party though – 
jeno 1:03am - oh right, isn’t it this weekend? - 
renjun 1:03am - yeah it is - 
jeno 1:04 am – how are u guys getting there? are we helping Donghyuck set up? – 
jaemin 1:04am – I’m cool w that - 
Donghyuck typed out his reply discreetly enough without you noticing, too distracted by the movie. 
1:20am -trust me I have a plan- 
Setting his phone down on the coffee table, he’d looked at you, debating on whether or not to ask you what was weighing on his mind, catching him off guard when you had turned to look at him, eyebrows raising curiously. 
“What’s wrong? The movie’s over” 
Donghyuck paused, turning to realise that the movie was indeed over and he hadn’t paid attention at all for the last bit. 
“Nothing. I was like...was wondering if you were gonna come early this weekend to help me set up for the party.” 
You felt a tinge of disappointment, hoping it hadn’t shown too much in your expression as you gave him a delayed nod, letting out a small sigh that you masked to be because you were tired. 
“Yeah, of course,” you huffed. 
Donghyuck nodded, getting up abruptly, “I should probably be heading back now, you should get some rest.” 
You frowned, but nodded nonetheless, “okay,” you stood up, walking closely behind him. 
Donghyuck contemplated asking if he could stay over, almost forgetting his entire plan for a second (and then wondering if he even had a legitimate plan in the first place), his hesitation causing his body to function faster than he could process, turning around abruptly without warning. 
His sudden halt making you yelp, almost colliding into him and stopping yourself just in time, Donghyuck reacting quickly and reaching his hand out to grab your arm in an attempt to steady you. 
Something about the air had thickened with tension then. Donghyuck blamed it on his prior racing thoughts, because looking at you now, he definitely did not have a plan. 
You, on the other hand, blamed it on the way you weren’t even focused on the movie to begin with, too occupied with hating the feeling of pining after somebody that was already taken. But whatever it was, you knew that you didn’t have much of a plan either. 
This was too close. You should’ve stuck to whatever 2 metre radius you had on the sofa just now, because if you were already distracted by his presence then, it was definitely a lot worse now. 
You could smell the fabric softener of his shirt, feeling him squeeze your arm gently as you dared yourself to look up at him, your breath hitching at the way he was looking at you. 
Maybe you were just imagining things. 
Like how you were ‘imagining’ the way he seemed to be leaning closer to you, his gaze flickering between your features to ultimately end up on your lips, almost as if he was gravitating towards you. 
Donghyuck scoffed. The universe was basically begging me to kiss my close friend.
Just as you’d felt yourself leaning closer as well, you’d begun to process what was happening, stepping back quickly and averting your gaze, suddenly interested in what was in your kitchen. 
“I should go.”
You huffed nervously, “yeah, you should.” 
Donghyuck nodded, wordlessly leaving your house, shutting the door behind him as he left, the only sound left being the trailer for whatever movie was on the television sounding throughout your living room. 
=== You were sure this was going to be a very long day. 
You’d just bought your present for Donghyuck from the florist, packing it carefully in a nice bag before you headed over to his house, only to have arrived at Donghyuck’s house to see him and Mina busy with preparing snacks. 
You’d entered the kitchen to be met with a laughing Donghyuck and a squealing Mina, joking around as they prepared the various food and snacks. 
“Oh, hey, you’re here! Is that a gift? If it is you can put it up in Donghyuck’s room,” she smiled at you. 
You’d returned her smile out of politeness, ignoring the way Donghyuck was looking at you as though he was searching your face for any emotions that were out of the ordinary. You hoped you weren’t being too obvious with your forced smile, turning quickly so you could let your smile drop, wanting to roll your eyes. 
What was this? Their housewarming party? 
Huffing, you’d left the kitchen, meeting Hyunjin and Jisung on the way upstairs, Jisung nudging you as a greeting as he continued down the stairs. 
Hyunjin reacted quickly, calling out to Jisung, “hey, I’ll meet you downstairs later,” he called, turning around and accompanying you upstairs. 
“Hey, how’ve you been?” he asked, earning a shrug from you, opening the door to Donghyuck’s room as you took the plant out of the bag. 
“I’ve been good, I guess. You?” you spoke as you walked over to his balcony to place the small potted flower on the small table he had there, admiring the way it looked. 
“Uh... good too...I guess,” he huffed in amusement, bringing his hand up to the back of his neck, fiddling with his collar. 
Hyunjin figured he’d might as well try to distract you from paying too much attention to Donghyuck and Mina. 
“D’you wanna help Jisung and I with the decorations?” he offered, earning a nod from you. 
“Yeah, sure. Not like I have anything better to do here,” you shrugged, letting him lead you downstairs to the living room where you saw Jisung and Jeno sitting on the floor at the coffee table, focused on cutting something to decorate the makeshift backdrop Donghyuck had where the photos would be taken later on. 
“Where’s the rest?” Hyunjin asked, making Jisung and Jeno look up. 
Jeno gave you a smile in greeting, beckoning you over to sit with him.
“Jaemin and Renjun went to collect the balloons. Chenle....” he looked at Jisung in the hopes that he would know where his friend was. 
“In the kitchen spying on Donghyuck and Mina.” 
You scoffed, not being able to help the laugh from bubbling out of you. 
“He should leave them alone, wouldn’t want to spoil their alone time.” 
Hyunjin gave you a surprised look as Jisung scoffed, “please, as if they don’t get plenty of alone time as it is.” 
You’d made a displeased sound, knowing you agreed with him but not wanting to be sulky about it. 
“Yeah, well,” you’d cut a piece of tape to hand to Jeno, “It’s not like I can tell him who to spend his time with, can I?” 
Jeno perked up at the statement, “yes, you can. You totally can. You should definitely do that.” 
Assuming they were joking with how quick Hyunjin and Jisung were to agree, you’d let out a chuckle, shaking your head. 
“Y/N, can you follow me to go hang these up?” Hyunjin asked, holding up the many streamers he had hooked onto his fingers, earning a nod from you. 
Holding his arm out for you to take, you couldn’t help but wonder why you weren’t feeling as excited as you usually would be if a situation involved Hyunjin. Choosing to ponder over the thought, you followed him over to the backdrop setup. 
Sitting on the table where the cake was supposed to be, you’d pre-cut various pieces of tape, pasting them on your arm, holding it out for Hyunjin to access it more easily as he hung up the decorations, your gaze constantly wandering over to the kitchen where you could see Donghyuck whispering something to Mina, earning a giggle from her. 
“Does it bother you?”
Your attention was directed towards Hyunjin, making you frown. 
“Huh?” You did a once-over of the decorations, shaking your head, “nah, I think what you did was fine. Maybe move that one a little to the left.” 
Hyunjin burst into laughter, shocking you at the sudden outburst as he shook his head, speaking as he calmed down. 
“No, I was talking about those people in the kitchen,” he told you pointedly, making you look back at the kitchen to realise who he was referring to. 
You shrugged, letting out a sigh instead, unsure how to reply Hyunjin.
“I figured. You’d been staring at them ever since we came here.”
You scoffed. “I wasn’t!... okay maybe I was, but it doesn’t mean anything, I swear.” 
Hyunjin huffed, “I thought Jisung was a bad liar but... I’d say you’re a lot worse.” 
“Maybe it runs in the family,” you sighed. 
You’d averted your gaze quickly when you saw Donghyuck exiting the kitchen, making his way over to where you and Hyunjin were, your presence together with him clearly having struck a nerve with him. 
“Hey,” he murmured, standing next to where you sat on the table, so close that your legs were touching his hips. 
“Careful now, wouldn’t want your girlfriend getting jealous.” 
Only then did Donghyuck register your words, not having given it a single thought when he’d approached you, the only thing in his head having been to make sure Hyunjin wasn’t trying to hit on you. Little did he know, you wouldn’t have noticed even if he was, your head preoccupied with thoughts about Donghyuck. 
Taking the tiniest of steps away from you, he glanced over in Mina’s direction, seeing her prompt him to carry out what they’d discussed. 
“Not much of a girlfriend, if you asked me,” Donghyuck shrugged, making your eyebrows knit in confusion, a small pout appearing on your lips. 
“Really? Thought you guys seemed to be getting along pretty well,” you murmured. 
Hyunjin was trying his best to eavesdrop, taking particularly long to hang up each streamer. 
“That’s kind of the thing...” he began, your conversation interrupted when the doorbell rang, making him halt your conversation to go and answer the door, leaving you hanging. 
Hyunjin turned around, a scandalised look on his face. 
“What was that!” he whispered harshly. 
You handed him the last piece of tape on your arm with a wide-eyed look, shrugging, “beats me.” 
You’d seen Donghyuck walking back into the room, with Chenle, Jaemin and Renjun following behind him, before parting ways and walking over to where you and Hyunjin were, Jaemin and Renjun beginning to display the balloons. Or more accurately, Renjun displayed them while Jaemin gave him compliments. 
Jaemin stood next to where you sat, leaning on the table, his arms folded in front of him. 
“I trust their artistic direction,” he gestured to them, “the last time they did the banners for the school’s valentine’s day fair I ended up with a girlfriend.” 
Renjun scoffed, “speaking of which, where are they?”
Jaemin shook his head, “nope, couldn’t make it cause they’ve got some family dinner.” 
You nodded in understanding, seeming a little uninvested in the conversation, but Jaemin figured he knew why, being able to sense that you were a little preoccupied with your continuous glances cast towards Donghyuck and Mina’s direction. 
“Who knows, maybe their weird art magic will help you get a boyfriend too,” Jaemin nudged you. 
This had only caused your frown to deepen when you’d immediately visualised Donghyuck as your boyfriend, shaking your head in dismissal. 
Mina had noticed you staring, leaning over to Donghyuck, “I don’t think your plan is working very much.” 
Donghyuck sighed, “I know. I’m honestly close to giving up, but I just need a chance to talk to her alone later, I swear I’ll tell her everything then.” 
Mina narrowed her eyes at him, “okay. I’ll try to create an opportunity, but you’d better make sure you tell her. I can’t bear seeing her look so sad,” she scolded, mustering a smile before she’d left to talk to the other guests Donghyuck had invited. 
Soon enough (thankfully), the decorations were done and Donghyuck had started to play music in the house, bringing out the snacks and food for everyone to eat. You’d taken your seat next to Hyunjin and Jisung since Donghyuck seemed to be a little preoccupied with Mina. 
Which, of course, you had to lie to yourself again and say you didn’t mind. 
You were thankful for Hyunjin and Jisung’s presence, of course, since it had managed to distract you from being sad over seeing Donghyuck being happy with Mina and taking food for her or how she would brush his hair back for no reason and oh, how much you wished you were Mina. 
You were about a hundred percent sure you liked Donghyuck, in the least best-friend way possible. 
Somewhere along the way, when people had brought out the drinks and everyone had been lounging and using their phones for a while, you’d heard someone call for everyone to gather so you could play games. You figured you were up for it, since you were never one to refuse board games, so you didn’t mind when Donghyuck had brought out his ‘Jenga’ set. 
You decided to play in teams since there were so many of you, and you’d teamed up with Hyunjin since Chenle had teamed up with Jisung, while Jaemin preferred to be the (arguably unnecessary) ‘referee’. 
Somehow or another, you were stuck in a difficult position, having to bend your hand awkwardly to get the piece you had chosen out, and in trying to get into a favourable position, you’d somehow ended up having to squeeze yourself between where Donghyuck sat and the coffee table, trying not to let yourself lean against him. 
“Don’t choose that one, choose that one,” you’d almost jumped at his hand that had gone next to yours, grabbing your hand and directing it to the piece he was referring to, your breath hitching as he did so. 
Your heartbeat was beginning to pick up speed, as you tried your best to do so, unappreciative of the commentary Donghyuck was giving from behind you, even to the extent of leaning over so his head was mere inches away from your ear as he directed you calmly. 
It wasn’t as if you were the only one feeling tense, Donghyuck’s gesture had warranted many stares and wide eyes from the people in the circle, making you eager to get this over with.
Unable to take it, you’d barely moved the piece when you raised your hand abruptly, “Hyunjin, you do it. I can’t.” 
Donghyuck backed away quickly, raising an eyebrow at you as if he didn’t know why you’d given up, making Mina roll her eyes at Donghyuck, “now that’s just cheating,” she told him. 
Hyunjin had taken over for you, and for many more turns afterwards. You were thankful when Jisung had lost since you decided you had enough of this game. Proposing another game, you had hoped they had another board game prepared, since you were sure Donghyuck had more than a few in his storeroom. 
Unfortunately for you, they seemed to have other plans, with Mina (you were too distracted by what the game was to pay attention to who said it) proposing a game of ‘Truth or Dare’. 
As if you hadn’t been put on the spot enough today already. 
The first few questions were simple, typical of the game. Simple questions of this or that whenever people chose truth, everyone seeming too afraid to start choosing dare. 
Soon enough, it was Jaemin’s turn to ask a question, humming in thought as he scanned the circle. 
“I pick Hyunjin.” 
You weren’t paying much attention, glaring at the coffee table after you saw Donghyuck slinging his arm around Mina’s shoulder, letting her rest her head on his chest as if it was second nature to them. 
Hyunjin scoffed, “truth,” he answered without missing a beat. 
Jaemin stuck his tongue out at Hyunjin teasingly, “If you could date anyone in our school who would it be?” 
“Y/N?” Hyunjin answered, earning a glare from Donghyuck (and many low sounds of surprise from the rest). 
Donghyuck searched your gaze for a reaction, something stirring in him when he didn’t spot the look that he usually saw you wear whenever you saw Hyunjin. Strangely, this time you looked as though you didn’t care much for his answer. 
“Would you ask her out?” 
Donghyuck scoffed, standing up abruptly, making everyone’s heads turn to face him, amused at what would have triggered his outburst since he’d been so willingly upholding whatever happy-couple façade he had with Mina. 
“This game is boring. Let’s play something else,” he blurted, making you scoff. 
What was he doing getting so riled up over a question that wasn’t even for him? 
Donghyuck’s outburst had caused the crowd to dissipate, the boys gathering at the sofa to play video games on Donghyuck’s console, everybody seeming to have returned to their state before you started playing games. 
Mina nudged Donghyuck, “now’s your chance, go and talk to her. I’ll make sure no one interrupts you guys.” 
Donghyuck heaved a heavy sigh, nodding slowly, his confidence from before seeming to have returned as he stood up, making his way over to where you were, laughing at something Hyunjin had said. 
“Hey,” you heard Donghyuck’s voice, looking up to spot him standing with his hands shoved in his pockets, his body language a contrast to what he was feeling. 
“Hey?” you answered, unsure what he was approaching you so aggressively for, but slightly thankful that you were getting some sort of attention from him today. 
“Can we talk? Like..upstairs,” he gestured with his head in the direction of the stairs, making you nod slowly, growing nervous at his sudden request, your thoughts having immediately wandered back to what he’d said just now about Mina, wondering if that was what he’d wanted to talk to you about. 
Hyunjin gave you an encouraging nod, wanting you to go up with Donghyuck, prompting you to do so. Letting him lead you upstairs, you reminded yourself repeatedly to keep calm, that this was your close friend you were going to be talking to. Your close friend that had a girlfriend. Your close friend that you really really liked that had a girlfriend. 
Entering Donghyuck’s room, he shut the door behind you, walking over to the balcony, and leaning against the railing, shutting his eyes as the breeze grazed his cheeks, finding that he would much prefer your touch on his cheeks. 
“So, uh,” you began, “what did you wanna talk to me about?” 
“Don’t date Hyunjin.” 
You frowned, leaning with your back against the railing so you could look at him, your arms folded across your chest, “what?” 
“I don’t think he’d be a good match for you,” Donghyuck shrugged, going completely off course from how he’d initially planned on approaching the topic of his feelings. 
Scoffing, you glanced at the orchid flower sitting on his balcony table, rolling your shoulders back before speaking. Friendship, new beginnings, you remembered the florist telling you when you’d asked for what the flower symbolised. 
“That’s what you wanted to talk to me up here about?” 
“Well, no but—” 
“Since when did it matter to you?” 
Donghyuck looked down at the small view he had of the neighbourhood, his voice coming out firmly, “it always mattered to me. You just never noticed.” 
You weren’t sure what he was getting at. His words were doing nothing to help your feelings for him, if anything, it made you even more confused. 
“What if I was going to date Hyunjin? Does that mean you’d tell me I couldn’t?” 
“Are you going to date Hyunjin?”
“What does it matter to you if I date him? You’re already with Mina.”
Donghyuck scoffed, “It matters because I don’t like it.” 
You groaned in frustration, your hands going up to brush your hair back harshly, “so what? Just because you don’t like Hyunjin means that I have to give him up?” 
Donghyuck turned to you, nodding as if it was his legal right to dictate your love life. “Fine, so go downstairs and ask him out, then.” 
“I’m not doing that.” 
“Well, why not?” 
“Because I don’t wanna ask him out,” you shot back. 
“Then there shouldn’t be a problem with me telling you what I think, right?” 
You scoffed, not wanting to let him manipulate you into confessing your feelings for him. Blinded by frustration, you’d let yourself slip, “well if that’s the case then I can say that I don’t like you dating Mina either! Does it mean that you’re gonna break up with her?” 
“I will if you want me to.”
You fell silent at that, unsure how to interpret what he’d said. 
“This isn’t how it’s supposed to be, Donghyuck. I’m supposed to support you as your friend, and you’re supposed to support me. You look happy with Mina, so I’m supporting you. Shouldn’t you want me to be happy too?” 
Donghyuck narrowed his eyes at you, tipping his head back in frustration before he’d made his way in front of where you stood, his hands going on either side of the railing next to you, caging you on the spot. 
“Then can you say for yourself that you’d be happy dating Hyunjin?” You hesitated.
“... No,” you murmured, averting your gaze anywhere except for him. 
“Then who would you be happy with? Tell me, and I’ll tell you what I think.” 
“I don’t care what you think—” 
“Tell me who, Y/N.” 
You rolled your eyes, upset that he was putting you on the spot like this, deciding to look him in the eyes, despite the warmth you felt pricking at your eyes, “you’re being mean.” 
“Just tell me,” Donghyuck insisted. 
“Okay, fine. It’s you, okay? Are you happy now?” you scoffed, “look, you’re perfectly happy with Mina and as your friend I should respect that—” 
“We’re not just friends and you know it.”
Donghyuck groaned in frustration, his grip tightening on the railing as he kept his gaze on you. 
Just for a moment, Donghyuck had managed to make you forget about hesitating. The way he was looking at you, it’d almost made you believe that he wasn’t with Mina, that everything else could wait but in this moment, he’d wanted it to just be you and him. 
“That doesn’t make sense...” you murmured, though that hadn’t stopped you from staring at his face, trying to get a sensing of just what it was that he wanted from you. 
Donghyuck had a few options, to tell you now about the fake relationship and risk you getting mad at him. To stop himself and tell you about how he’d been planning on breaking up with Mina. 
But his last option, the most selfish of all, was to just let himself have this moment with you, and deal with the repercussions of it later on. 
Donghyuck chose to be selfish. 
Leaning closer to you, you’d found yourself looking up as well, his gaze replaced by a more determined, decisive one, as he glanced at your lips, inching closer so your lips were barely touching. 
Not being able to handle the tension any longer, you chose to be selfish too. 
Apologising to Mina in your head, you’d brought your hands up to cup his face, bringing him closer to you to meet your lips with his, hearing him sigh as he kissed you back. 
Donghyuck wasn’t sorry, not at all, especially when he’d removed his hands from the railing to grasp at your waist, his other hand moving from your waist to cup the side of your face, holding you firmly as if he was telling you that he wasn’t going to let go first. 
Coming to your senses, you’d stopped yourself just as he tried to deepen the kiss, pulling back breathless with your chest heaving, your hands dropping from his face as if they’d been burned. Donghyuck tore his gaze reluctantly from your lips, soft breaths leaving him as he bit his lip, trying to process what had happened. 
You shook your head, instantly feeling horrible that you’d kissed him but the worst part being that you knew you made the choice on your own. 
“I’m not supposed to be doing this with you. How could you let me do that, you have a girlfriend!” you gasped, your hands flying up to cover your mouth, staring at him scandalised. 
Donghyuck stood dumbfounded, “wait, let me explain. It’ll all make sense.”
You shook your head, pushing his arms off of you as you took a step back from him. 
“Settle your shit with Mina before you talk to me. You can’t just assume you can go behind her back like this and that we’ll both be okay with it,” you scoffed. 
“That’s not how it works. It’s not the same as saying you love both your mom and your dad. I need you to make a clear decision and not put me through this anymore,” you blurted, your words coming out a mile a minute with how flustered you were. 
“I’m sorry, I’m leaving. Happy birthday.” 
Donghyuck parted with the feeling of your hands cupping his face, now met with the cold breeze once again. 
=== 
It wasn’t as if you wouldn’t see Donghyuck in school. You did, except he hadn’t made a move to reach out to you first, since he figured you still needed some time to collect your thoughts. 
You’d only heard halfway through the week that he’d broken up with Mina (much to Jisung’s relief), though strangely, he didn’t seem very different to you. 
Not that your information gathered through furtive glances in his direction during lessons were of any indication. 
He’d surprised you on Friday morning, when you’d been freezing in the classroom because your school sweater was still in the wash, looking stupid as the only student that hadn’t brought a worn the sweater. 
Only upon returning after a trip to the washroom in between lessons to try to warm up your body with a walk, you’d spotted the presence of a school sweater on your desk, and the lack thereof on Donghyuck, who fiddled with his tie nonchalantly, supporting his head on his arm which was on his desk. 
Lifting the sweater, you were about to hang it on your chair, stubbornly not wanting to give him the satisfaction of you putting it on, only to reveal the big scrawl on your notebook that you could only identify as Donghyuck’s handwriting, reading : ‘don’t be stubborn and wear it. You’ll freeze if you don’t’. 
Huffing, you’d reluctantly put on the sweater, your fingers grazing lightly over the small student council pin near the collar, not wanting to make it too obvious that the comfort and warmth of the sweater was absolutely needed, simply looking down at your notebook and flipping the page. 
You’d stayed behind in school that day to get some work done in the library, not expecting to have spotted Jisung and Chenle there, the group approaching you to greet you. 
Chenle’s eyebrows raised in surprise. 
“I’m guessing you and Donghyuck have made up already? God, it was so hard keeping all that fake relationship nonsense he had with Mina a secret from you—” Chenle stopped himself once he saw your expression, instantly regretting opening his mouth. 
“I’m sorry, his what?”
Chenle directed his gaze elsewhere, shrugging, nudging Jisung with his foot in his panic, making Jisung shrug, “uh..what? I didn’t hear anything, did you?” 
“Where is he now?” you spoke, not sure whether you were happy or angry that the situation turned out this way. All you knew was that you needed to see Donghyuck and give him a piece of your mind. 
“He’s uh...he’s in the council room with the dnyl guys.” 
You stood up, gathering your things quickly and bidding Jisung and Chenle goodbye, Chenle pulling out his phone to text Donghyuck. 
chenle 7:19pm -y/n just found out n shes super mad at you prepare yourself- 
Donghyuck had pulled his phone out, not being able to help the giddy feeling in him from arising.
“Why? What’s got you looking so happy?” Renjun asked. 
“Y/N found out.” 
Renjun frowned, not knowing how Donghyuck could be so happy about his impending scolding, leaning over to Jaemin and Jeno to murmur, “I think he’s lost it.” 
You weren’t even sure what you’d wanted to tell him as you were storming towards the council room. I mean, you knew you needed to confront him, yet you couldn’t quite phrase your words in your head, all of them seeming to do no justice to your true thoughts and emotions. 
But before you knew it, you were already in front of the council room door, with no prepared speech whatsoever, shoving the door open and glaring at a smiling Donghyuck. 
“Lee Donghyuck, we need to talk. Now.” 
You’d left the room, waiting impatiently until the doors opened again, Donghyuck walking out calmly, his hands in his pockets like before. 
“Hey,” he breathed. 
“Hey? Hey? You lie to me about something so big and kiss me to confuse me and now all you can say is hey?” you scoffed, hating the way he was smiling at you because whatever it was, it was making it harder for you to stay mad at him. 
Donghyuck didn’t care, he was happy. He didn’t care if you were mad at him, or if you were gonna nag him until your voice went hoarse. He didn’t care about whatever you could possibly throw at him because he was so happy that you were finally telling him truthfully about all the emotions you were feeling. 
“You’re wearing my sweater,” he pointed out calmly, as if you hadn’t just showed up to the council room fuming. 
You flushed, trying to ignore the way you’d felt somewhat shy under his gaze, choosing to cover it up for the sake of your pride. 
“I didn’t come here to play spot the difference, Donghyuck.” 
Donghyuck let out an amused huff, “I know. Look, I’m sorry I lied to you,” he said, letting out a breathy laugh. “My initial plan was to just make you so jealous that you would crack and admit your feelings for me. But that didn’t seem to be working very well.” 
You scoffed, “oh, it worked. It worked very well. I was so jealous I couldn’t even think straight. I should’ve known it was fake, this is so like you.” 
“Well then why didn’t you show it?” he pouted. 
You gave him a look of disbelief, “because that was how much I liked you! I didn’t want you to feel bad just because you liked someone that wasn’t me. I’ll have you know, I was trying very hard to be supportive.” 
He grinned, his hands coming out of his pockets to fold his arms across his chest calmly, scrunching his nose up cutely. 
“I know, Jisung told me.”
You rolled your eyes. The anger you were feeling from before dying down, now being overtaken by the giddiness from the thought that this meant that Donghyuck reciprocated your feelings, and there was essentially nothing stopping the both of you from pursuing these feelings. 
Donghyuck gave you a soft smile, stepping forward to wrap his arms around you, resting his chin comfortably on your shoulder, “are you still mad?” 
“You’re really manipulative, you know that? It’s so hard for me to stay mad at you.” Donghyuck laughed, his hands rubbing your back soothingly, “good.” 
“Now...because the last one didn’t end very well, can I have a second try?” Donghyuck pulled away from you, his hands on your shoulders as he leant back to gauge your expression. 
“At what?”
“Trust me, close your eyes.” 
You frowned at him, but obliged, not being able to hide your smile when you’d felt his hand cup the side of your neck, instantly knowing what he was about to do, feeling the confirmation of his lips press against yours not long after. 
Watching from the inside of the room, Jaemin let out a relieved sigh. “Awfully dysfunctional dynamic, but I’m glad it worked out for them.” 
Jeno hummed in agreement, “maybe Jaemin was right about your weird art magic, Renjun.” 
Jaemin scoffed, “of course I’m right,” he let out a gasp, “wait...but doesn’t that mean we won’t necessarily be needing the club anymore? Since all of us are kind of...you know, taken?” 
“I vote we keep the club,” Jeno suggested, earning a low impressed sound from Renjun.
“Thought you were the one that said this club was stupid, huh?” 
Jeno shrugged, “guess Harvey was right...about what exactly, I’m not very sure but just...right.” 
“Speaking of Harvey, we should probably tell him about this...development.” 
Donghyuck pulled away from you, burying his head in your shoulder shyly, “I don’t think this is appropriate to be doing on school grounds.” 
“Oh so now you want to be a rule-abiding council member?” Donghyuck huffed, maybe being selfish wasn’t such a bad thing after all, especially when it came to you. 
Donghyuck scrunched up his nose, letting out a thoughtful hum, “... on second thought, maybe we should head out of school so we can continue this in peace.” 
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