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#whats nice is usually if i start playing one they usually will try it out w mem
rqnarok · 2 days
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MOTIVE | dark!old man!logan x fem!reader
summary: strangers-with-benefits!old man!logan punishes you out of his jealousy.
— sequel to bed chem but could be read as a standalone!
content warnings/tags: smut! mdni. porn with little plot. old man!logan. unspecified age gap. dom!logan. sub!reader. possessive & jealous logan. pet names (kid, kiddo, little girl, etc). unprotected p in v. power dynamics. cnc. heavy breeding kink. barely proofread. wc: 2,6k 
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You didn’t think Logan would care—or notice, even. 
This thing between you and him has been going on for months now. He picks you up from the diner you’re working at, drives you home (his house), then fucks you stupid throughout the after-hours. 
The sex is everything you have craved for, really, “Ya’ need a real man to do this shit, huh?” A real man who does all the work and stuffs you up with his cock until you’re only speaking in high-pitched whines.
But aside from that fact, something is missing. Something your big heart always had craved, something he failed to fill.
The lack of attention and affection.
Outside intercourses, he barely talks to you. He departs from the bed after every time you fall asleep—or when he thinks that you’re already asleep. Sometimes, he takes you back to your house in the morning, sometimes he just leaves you in his vacant residence. 
All bare and worn out.
You’d rest your head on his chest in the dim room, drawing shapes on his naked skin, “I wish you’d tell me what’s wrong.” 
The tips of his fingers subtly stroke the crown of your head, a light touch you can barely feel, “Go t’sleep, kid.”  
It’s too unstable and lacks consistency.
That is when you start talking, well specifically, messaging, a friend of a friend, someone around your age. You are not even attracted to him but he’s nice. He gives you attention and affection you hardly even register. But hey, you just want your big heart loaded up. No one can ever blame you.
What you didn’t know is that Logan notices everything. He notices how you start to sleep more later than usual, playing with your phone for a while. How your lips curve upwards at the glowy screen when you thought that he already left the room. Making him utter a question into the cold air, “What’re you lookin’ at?” 
Strangled, your phone falls into the sheets that cover your bare form, “N-nothing, really. Just texting my girlfriends.”
And Logan knows you’re fuckin’ lying right to his face. Because he remembers you told him one time in the beginning: “Sometimes I feel lonely at night. None of my friends are a night owl like me, y’know?” He fuckin’ remembers it all. 
On a random Friday, he decided he had known enough. He drives his way to your diner and there you are. Sitting too close to his liking with some fuckin’ boy; the way those giggles left your lips makes his stomach turn. 
You didn’t know that he was sitting in his car the whole time because he never visited you on a Friday night: “Gotta do somethin’” 
But there he was, gripping the steering wheel too tightly his knuckles turned white. Muttering curse after curse under his heavy breath. Playing over the last few weeks and trying to find what went sideways. But something always went sideways with him. 
He had hoped you would understand that his aloofness was merely a product of his scars and the long life he had lived. But now, seeing you in your apron whilst smiling at another man and pouring Logan's favorite black coffee—he wished he hadn’t been so cold towards you. 
What would he do without you? What would he do if you decided that you didn’t want some old man n’picked that boy? He shakes his head lightly, no, Logan needs you. 
The thought of you leaving him makes him fucking sick and he decided to do something ‘bout it.  
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By something, he means having you on his bed, naked and splayed bare in front of him as he laps up and down your dripping pussy. 
“Pussy loves me so much, huh?” Logan murmurs as he squeezes your thighs that clamped around his neck, making you hum a mhmm to the pillow beside you.
Logan’s thick fingers eagerly stroke your clit while he continues licking your folds, earning soft mewls as your head tilts back in pleasure, “Ah- ‘M so close..!” 
“Doin’ so good for your old man.” You’re moaning and gripping his greying hair while you squirm on the sheets, rolling your hips down on his face.
You were so so so close to getting your orgasm before he abruptly pulled away and stood back up on his feet. Taking you by surprise. Delaying you. 
“W-what?”  Your head is still overflowing with your high when you watch him drape his way into the nearest armchair and put on his glasses as he reaches for today’s newspaper. As if he didn’t just have his tongue deep inside you a minute ago. 
Just as you try to catch your breath, you slowly get up in a sitting position to gape at him with your flushed cheeks and aroused body. You were so close and you need him back now. 
After a minute, you begin to notice how he grips the newsprint too tensely, how his brows furrowed and his nose wrinkled, how he keeps clenching his jaw on repeat, and how he looks furious and grumpy.
Something’s up. 
“L-Logan?” You call out to him. He clenched his jaw one more time until he could not contain his anger anymore. 
He takes off his glasses in a harsh tug and stares directly at you, “Are you fuckin’ him?” 
The way he looks at you sends electricity into your core, you feel like a deer caught in a headlight, “W-wha—who are you talking about?”
When he gets up from his seat, you can see the bulge on his pants, his stare still burning into you as if a predator catching its prey, “Fuck. That fuckin’ boy from the diner. Did ya’ let him touch what’s mine?” 
Oh. 
Oh.
He’s talking about your ‘friend of a friend’. How did he find that out? You began to wonder in silence. 
You gulp as he gets closer and closer into the bed, making you push your back onto the headboard subconsciously, “Oh- no, no, he— he’s just a friend, Logan.”
He isn’t satisfied with that answer, you know this because the bed squeaks out a creaking sound when he gets his whole weight on the bed, latching and trapping you, “Ya’ thought about leaving me, kiddo?” He rumbles as he squishes your face cheeks between his thumb and forefinger, looking at you sternly as if he’s scolding a misbehaved child, “Thought about leavin’ you old man?”
“N-no!  Never!—” You’re being honest! You would never leave him…you just needed a little more. By sensing his rage that radiates the entire room, you try your best to stare back at him with your doe-eyes, a look that never fails to weaken down his knees.
Then, you build up the courage to cradle his face with your soft palms and stroke his beard, focusing on the greying parts. “Just a friend, Logan. ‘Would never leave you.” Your voice comes out as a whisper but it successfully eases him down. You can hear his breath steadying after a while. 
He closes his eyes as he lurks forward towards you, greedily locking his lips onto yours, “Was so fuckin’ mad.” As he pulls away to mumble, you keep pampering kisses on his face—to assure him that you do want him and him only. 
He pulls down his pants and lets his cock spring free to his stomach. A sight of pre-cum on his heavy tip and the grith of his fat cock makes you cry out. 
Logan trails his hands from your face down and down until he reaches your pussy. It’s still as wet as he delayed it a few moments ago. His calloused finger probes at your entrance, making you whimper into his mouth. 
“This is all f’me, little girl?” He keeps teasing your folds in one hand while pinching your peaking nipples with his other hand. All while still looking at you oh, so hungrily. 
“Y-yes! All for you. No one else—” You fail to finish your sentence when he enters one finger into your heat, placing kisses on your collarbones and mumbling mhmm onto your skin.
You can’t hold it anymore since he delayed your orgasm earlier—you’d do anything, “Pleasepleaseplease, need’a cum, please!” 
The squelching sound of his finger moving in and out, in and out of your cunt didn’t help either. You’re staring at him lust-filled and dumbfounded; you wish he could just read your mind.
“Such a pretty pussy, baby.” He removes his finger and brings it to his mouth, swirling it around his tongue to savor you, “Tastes so sweet too.” 
“Where d’ya want me?”
You whimper pathetically at his words while making grabby hands at him. “I-inside, pleasepleas—” At this point, you don’t even know what you’re begging for.
In fact, you don’t even know anything…
“Don’t got any rubber, kid. Can’t fuck you, y’know?” Logan is fucking a liar. He threw all the condoms he had into the trash bin this morning for this sole purpose. You mumbles a small ‘wha’ into his face because he delays you over and over just for him to delay you again? 
No, no, no—you gotta have him now. 
You look at him like he’s the only man - like nothing matters but him and he’s making you furrow your brows in sadness, in desperation. 
So then,
“I-it’s okay… you can- still-if you want to. I’ll let you.” 
Bingo. 
Just how Logan wants this to go. Because again, out of your awareness, this is how Logan punishes you. For making him so jealous he can barely get any sleep, for pulling away from him the entire week that he can only jerk his cock off to your pink ribboned panties (the one that you left on his house), and for making him think about you every second he’s awake because you’re his air.
He was so fucking pissed—but now, he feels that he had won already. 
“Mhm, no can do, princess. Don’t wan’ you to regret it.” Your face fell into disappointment, can’t he see how much you want this? How much you need him? “‘S alright, yeah?” He says and earns a whiny protest from you. 
Tears begin to build up in your eyes as you stutter over your words. All you’ve got is sobs because you’re so overwhelmed by everything that’s happened tonight. You can only call out his name, trying to get his attention and affection. 
“Logan.” You’re squirming on the bed, wrapping your legs around his hips, pressing his body against yours— making him pull an indifferent look to continue on his act.  
“Next time, alright, kiddo?” He kisses the tip of your nose as a decoy. 
“N-no! Now! Please, Logan. Now, please—” You move your hips upwards and make his tip kiss your wetness. He begins to lose his composure when you wrap your small fingers around his cock. Logan grunts and lurches forward because he’s just an old man who needs you. There’s little he can do.
“Wan’ you inside…” You whisper breathlessly as you move your hands up and down on him the way he loves it, “‘S okay, Dada, I promise.” Your thumb swirls around his cockhead before bringing him closer and closer to where you want him until the tip pushes inside your aching folds, “‘Just pull out, okay?” 
Logan grins at you, showing his wrinkles. Oh, he won’t pull out. He knows he won’t. 
This is the climax of his ‘punishment’. Yes, he’s a bad man, the worst kind of man. But this is his only way to keep you, don’t you see? To make sure you won’t leave him, to make sure shit like yesterday won’t happen again. 
He bumps his nose into yours and kisses your forehead, “Y’sure, baby?” 
And you just let out a ‘yes’ because you just need him so so so badly. He nudges forward, in in in, until he’s buried inside of you—then he kisses your lips again. It’s so hot because he has never fucked you like this before, so raw and deep. After feeling your velvety walls, he knows he will never let you go. 
He starts a cruel pace and jolts you; your cute tits jiggle every time he thrusts inside—he’s sure that you’re made for him, to be with him. Put on this place to be his pretty baby and to have his baby. 
“Ya’ll let that boy do this to ya? Mm?” You shake your head rapidly at his question, hoping he’ll understand. And he does. “T-Tha’ right. Pussy’s glad to see me - loves me.” 
Your eyes squeezed so tight but he can’t stop, not when you’re squelching ‘round him and gripping him as if he’d disappear, “My good little girl - fuck - fuckin’ love you.” He confessed while burying his face on your neck and the only thing he has on his mind is puttin’ a baby in you.
It’s the truth: he loves you. More than anything–more than himself. He just doesn’t know how to show it in a normal way.
He thrusts and thrusts and thrusts—your moan gets louder and louder and louder. Logan takes your hands, interlinking your fingers together and kissing your knuckles.
You make these pathetic little noises, ah ah ahs, and he knows you’re close. Now is the time to do his final act, “Y’know why it feels so good, kid? 
He touching you everywhere: pinching your nipples and holding you by your throat,  “‘S ‘cause you’re fucking a real man, baby.”
“Y-yeah! Jus’ need a man—need you—” Logan nearly cums right there and then when he sees how tears stream down your cheeks as you look up at him in pure admiration—like you worship him. Again, just the way he wanted it.
Your shaky voice as a newborn fawn reminds him what he’s here for, what his punishment is to you.
“F-fuck. Gonna pull out soon, darlin’”
What? It’s too soon for you and your vice grip somehow manages to get stronger around him. He can barely withdraw before you squeeze your walls so deliciously and wrap your legs tighter; ankles locking his hips onto yours.  
“N-no! Don’t- don’t go anywhere— Staystaysta—” Logan sighs in relief. You ate up all his acts. It’s working. 
His palms move to your waist to work himself deeper in you, hitting that gummy spot that he knows will make you sob.
“Wha’dya mean no? Logan asks, “D-don’t wanna knock you up, kiddo.” Oh, but he does! He does. He does. “Gotta pull out. You don’t want that, ‘kay?” 
“I-I do! I do.” You finally plead to him with your soft voice. “I wan’ it..” 
Logan can’t last any second longer but it’s okay because you’re so close to getting to where he wants you.
He snarls a ‘Fuck’ under his breath and, “Gonna get ya’ pregnant, sweets.” His mouth gets to your neck and starts leaving dark bruises on your silky skin, “S’that what you want? My baby, hm?” 
“Yeah.” You squeak up while meeting down his thrusts, “Yeahyeahyea—gimme a baby.” You continue your mindless babble, your brain is empty except for the thoughts of him. “Fill me up, fill me up…” It’s becoming a plea. 
“I’ll fill you up, sweet girl.”
And he’s gone. Lips latching onto yours as you both reach ecstasy. Logan fucks you through it—fucks his seed so deep in you so it fuckin’ takes.
He wished he’d feel guilty as a sick old man for ruining you and your life—but here you are, milking him for all he’s got and telling him that you love him too.
You’re gorgeously unaware that he’s punishing you the entire time; you’re too fucked up when he’s spilling warm ropes of his cum on your walls. He pulls out slowly, staring at the white strings that gush out of your wet hole before plugging himself to make sure it takes.
Logan thinks everything’s fine because he’s got his assurance:  that you’re never going to leave him—that now you’re fully his—and that he has won. 
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mwahsol · 2 days
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Jewelry with initials
Description: You and Paige are in a semi-private relationship, as she's doing an interview the interviewer notices a certain ring on Paige's hand. The ring on Paige's hand is the one you usually wear with your initials on it. When the interviewer asks Paige about the ring, she hints about your relationship.
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“So Paige I couldn't help but notice that there's a certain ring on your hand that has an initial of someone very familiar.”
“I mean what can I say it's a nice ring.”
‘Does the ring belong to a specific teammate that may or may not wear the number 12?’
‘Yo not too much, but yeah it's her ring. I wanted to bring a little something of hers with me because she couldn't come with me so it'll do for now.”
“Aww that's so cute seeing your close bond.”
After hearing that Paige can feel her face heating up and the smirk she's been trying to hide is slipping through as she answers, “Yeah for sure, but imma see her in a week so when she gets here she can give me my chain back.”
As soon as those words slipped out of her mouth the interviewer had to get all the information she could, “Oh she has something of yours too? Who's idea was it to swap items so you both could have something?”
She couldn’t help but chuckle remembering how she was almost ready to beg you to just come to Seattle with her, being too impatient to wait a bit to hold you again.
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“Baby I’m going to see you in probably less than a week. I just need to visit my mom for a bit.” Even though she understands she can't help but be clingy towards you, I mean how could she not she follows you around like a puppy most of the time not ever wanting to be too far from you. “I know mama I’m just gonna miss you.” As you see Paige pouting on your bed you can't help but walk up to her, you settle in between her thighs and hug her around her shoulders while she wraps her arms around your waist and buries her head in your chest. To make her feel a little better you come up with a cute small idea, “How about I give you something of mine that you can wear so in a way I’ll be there hm? How does that sound love?’ Her head instantly shoots up so you can see the excitement in her eyes making you giggle a little. “Really? Can I pick it out?” She's too cute, “Of course you can.”
“Ok but if I get something of yours then you have to wear something of mine.’ Even though that wasn't part of your original plan you couldn't help but blush at the fact that she wants you to have something so you won't miss her too much. “I wouldn't be opposed to that”
As she gets up and looks through your jewelry box she sees the ring you wear almost all the time, except when you're playing or at practice, “Can I get this one babe?’ You knew how the public knew that ring was specifically yours. It had your initials on it and you know how much the public loves Paige, you know they're more than likely to ask her about it if they notice, and if they don't then all of the fans will. “Are you sure P? I don't want to make you comfortable if they start asking questions about it,” her heart swells up with adoration seeing how much you care and think about her first. “I’m sure, private not secret remember. I’d be happy if they asked me about you. I won't get into too much detail obviously but I can drop a few hints here and there but only if you're comfortable with it mama.” God, she knows how to make you blush, as you look down a giggle a little getting a bit shy you say, “Of course, I am, just wanted to make sure with you first.”
Paige can't help but admire how even after almost two years she still has this effect on you. “Ok, since I got your ring, how do you feel about wearing my gold chain with my initial on it so we kinda match.” You can see her little smirk knowing how much you love that necklace and can't help but say yes to getting the opportunity to wear it again. “Sounds perfect.”
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“Nah it was hers but I added a little but that's it,” the interviewer and soon the audience will be able to see how giddy she was just to talk about you.
“Alright Paige, thank you for talking with us. Good luck and hopefully you see y/n soon,” she couldn't help but laugh towards the ending seeing how Paige was so happy just to hear your name.
“Ay thank you, have a good rest of your day.”
What Paige didn't notice is that while she was being asked about you and remembering the day you traded pieces, she was playing with your ring and smiling so hard that people would rewatch the interview and repost it everywhere talking about how your guy's relationship was definitely more than platonic.
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I'm slowly releasing things please bare with me y'all, law is kicking my ass and my job is NOT helping. I promise I'm trying to rerelease my old work and somewhat write new ones. LOVE YALL THO <3
Kiss the sun 🌞
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mickandmusings · 2 days
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indifferent
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pairing: jake 'hangman' seresin x f!reader
word count: 2.4k
summary: a year ago, the sight of jake seresin would've sent her into a flurry of tears. now, as she stares at him chatting up the bleach-blonde at the bar, all she feels is a deep hatred for the man who charmed the room with his stupid texan accent and encapsulating green eyes.
warnings: 18+ MDNI!!! seriously, this is actually a lot more smutty than usual for me; this is my first attempt at more serious smut so it's not good but we're trying new things!; angsty yet fluffy; exes to enemies to lovers (these two hate each other); no use of Y/N; sort of mean!jake, but not really; reader is described as wearing a skirt
based on megan moroney's 'indifferent'
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As she walks into the Hard Deck, she's convinced the universe is doing everything it can to royally fuck her over.
She'd hoped for a nice night with some random but handsome Naval personnel, make him pay for drinks, give him a rather steamy and heavy make out session, and leave before it can go any further. When she enters from the beach side doors, her eyes scan the room for...Brayden? Brandon? Brian? She couldn't really remember the name attached to his Tinder profile, only remembering the beauty of a Bronco in his pictures, but he wasn't important. What was really important was the spine-chilling hate crawling up her chest as she spots the khaki-uniform-clad blonde at the bar.
Jake fucking Seresin.
Her eyes narrow, knowing her night had already soured, and it hadn't even started. She and Jake had a....history, of sorts. By history she meant deep-seeded rage and hatred for one another after a failed relationship. A year ago, she had been in a mutually exclusive relationship with the aforementioned Lieutenant Seresin, well, one she had thought had been mutually exclusive. Until she found herself worrying and fretting every time he went out with his friends. And her gut had been right, because only six months into the relationship she'd had the dreaded 'hey girl, is this your man?' message sitting in her Instagram DM. When he came home that night and had denied it all, vehemently, she might add, it had escalated to a screaming match and her storming out of the house. From that moment on, she hadn't even bothered to check-in on what he was doing in his life. She hated Jake Seresin, and as much as she told herself she was indifferent to what he was doing with the bleach-blonde giggling next to him at the bar, she knew her skin itched to ruin his night.
Instead, she decided to be the bigger person. In her direct line of vision, she found an empty table in the corner and made her way towards it. She had passed the bar successfully, and she was merely inches away from taking her claim on the seat when his southern accent tumbles into her ears.
"Didn't expect to see you here, darlin'."
Fuck me now.
She takes a deep breath before turning around meeting his tall figure. He hadn't changed, still muscular and broad, big green eyes and well-kept blonde hair. She rolls her eyes, tapping her nails against the table nonchalantly. She didn't care about him, and she would not fall victim to his charms-never again.
"What do you want, Seresin?"
His eyes widen, a shit-eating grin creeping on his face as he raises his hands in mock surrender.
"Damn, sweetheart, I'm just sayin' hello."
"Yeah I bet. Hey, Jake. Now, you better scurry back to your girl at the bar before she gets scooped up by one of your little Navy buddies."
He looks back at Coyote's girlfriend he had been casually catching up with, certainly not flirting, but if it riled up the girl in front of him, well, then he'd play into it. Jake shrugs, sliding his hands into his pockets.
"Not too worried about it, not really interested."
Yeah, I bet.
"So what do you want with me? Because you're not here to play catch up, Seresin."
Jake takes a good look at her, she's obviously here for a date. Her outfit is casual enough for the bar, but accents her curves enough to attract some appeal. Even enough to make his own pants feel tight. Whoever she was here with was one damn lucky man, no matter how jealousy burned at Jake's chest.
"You look good tonight."
She audibly scoffs, rolling her eyes at the compliment.
"If you're here to grovel about what happened, save it. You should've done that a year ago."
Jake bristles, annoyed. Their blow-up fight had been a simple case of misunderstanding. He hadn't been flirting with the girl at the bar that night, he'd been helping her escape a creep who had been following her around the bar. He had to admit, the photo had been a little...compromising, when taken out of context. She'd never even given him a chance to explain himself before blowing it out of the water. They'd both yelled at one another, not bothering to hear either side of the other's statements. She left full of shaking anger, and he hadn't seen her since, until now.
"Maybe I could've groveled if you would've listened to me for two damn minutes."
She swings her head around, her own feelings bristling as she raises her voice.
"Listen to you?! The evidence was pretty damn convincing, Jake!"
He breathes deeply, cutting his green eyes to Phoenix standing at the pool table. The brunette lifts a brow in his direction. Jake knows this is going to escalate quickly, both of their tempers flaring, and for the sake of not ruining his reputation in front of his coworkers, he grips her arm and takes her outside to the parking lot.
"What the fuck are you doing?! Get your hands off of me!"
As they approach the spot where his truck is parked, he lets go of her and she crosses her arms.
"You're yellin' at me like some kind of crazy in there. My teammates are in there-"
"Oh! God forbid the great Hangman is embarrassed in front of his friends."
She's angry, flaring with an annoyance so great she's blind to what she's saying. Jake, a man known for his ego, seems to flare in the same manner. His voice is biting when he speaks.
"That's not what I meant, and you know it!"
"I swear to God, you must get off on the idea of pissing me off!"
They're loud, yelling over one another about trivial things-her being here on a date, him flirting at the bar with another girl, stupid things that didn't amount to much, but nearly anything could fuel the fire between them. Both were still ridiculously attracted to one another, despite everything, and their feelings ran deep. Jake's face is red-between the heat of California and his searing annoyance, he had begun to work up a sweat. Not to mention how incredibly hot she looked when she was pissed. Their voices could not get any louder at one another, spouting off any detail they could think of. Finally, it draws to a head when she spits out her next sentence, her tone biting.
"You know, I fucking hate you, Jake Seresin."
Jake chuckles dryly, no humor lacing his tone.
"That's a harsh claim comin' from the girl givin' me fuck me eyes."
She recoils, crossing her arms over her chest. She knows he's right, despite her annoyance with him, she knows there's still a fire between them, one she tries to swallow despite her blood burning and her heart racing.
"You wish, asshole."
"Yeah, I do."
His response shocks her, his tone softer than before, but his eyes nearly predatory. He can feel his usual roomy uniform grow tight, his jaw clenched tightly. Her eyes dart between his own as they glimmer in the moonlight, and she finds herself unable to find a retort. No worries, Jake's voice oozes with charm and seduction.
"What? Cat got your tongue all of a sudden, darlin'? You sure were all talk only a few seconds ago."
"Y-You don't mean that."
Her voice comes out small and unsure, her throat feeling dry and her entire being throbbing with the tingle of desire.
"Don't mean what?"
He comes closer, eyes never falling from her own, his calloused hands coming around her hips. He almost expects her to flinch out of his touch, but she lets him hold her against his own hips. She can see and feel the evidence of his own arousal, the usual light color of his eyes dark with lust.
"You think I'd lie about wantin' you? You're a damn fool if you think that, I've thought about you since the night you ran out my door."
She stills, her heart racing as she manages to form a thought.
"Y-You cheated on me, I'm not falling for this."
She goes to turn from his hold, but his grip on her hips is tight.
"No."
His voice is firm, demanding.
"That ain't what happened. You just never gave me a second to explain it. So I'm gonna talk, and you're gonna listen, got it?"
His voice was serious, but he was never intimidating or scary. Jake might be an asshole, but he'd never lay a hand on her, not like that.
"I wasn't flirtin' with that girl, never did, not once. That girl asked me to help her, and whoever sent you pictures of us got it all out of context. I might be a dick but I wouldn't do that to you, and I thought you knew that."
She looks at him, conflicted between wanting to jump his bones or punch him square in the jaw. She settles on simply asking a question.
"So why did you never try to call me? O-Or text me to explain?"
"Would you have listened?"
She already knew the answer to that.
"No."
He raises an eyebrow, nodding his head in a knowing look. Both halves of the couple are quiet for a minute, not knowing where to go from here. She's the first to break the silence.
"So, what does this mean?"
Jake shrugs.
"Nothin' if you don't want it to. But if you want me like I want you right now, I'd be okay with that, too."
The heat-filled tension is almost palpable, both of their chests heaving with barely contained want. Jake wants nothing more than to throw her over his shoulder and take her in the backseat of his truck, but this isn't his decision. It's hers-she has to decide if he's what she wants.
She cocks her head to the side before looking back up at him.
"And if I do want you like you want me?"
He feels himself twitch in his godforsaken uniform.
"Then you say the word and I'll make you forget whatever little shit you came here to meet."
In all honesty, she already had forgotten about...Bryson? Fuck, she really couldn't remember the poor guy's name.
"I swear to God, Seresin, if you don't touch me I'll lose my fucking mind."
Jake grins, pulling her flush against him.
"Well we can't have that can we, darlin'?"
His lips meet her own with little warning, a frenzy of clashing teeth and fumbling hands. Jake's hands meet on her back dangerously low, before he's placing his palms flat on her ass, pulling her up and her legs wrap around his waist. Her body flames at even the smallest stimulation, and when his hard-on meets her core, she lets out a provocative moan. Jake is going blind with an unbridled, insatiable want, and he wants-no-needs her, now.
"Baby," he grunts as her hips roll into his own. "You gotta stop that or I'm gonna take you right here in this goddamn parkin' lot."
She pulls back from his gaze, giving him a look as she breathes heavily, her lips plump from his fervor.
"When have we ever been above fucking in your back seat?"
Jake shakes his head and slams open the back door of his truck, wasting zero time tossing her lightly against the leather seats. Once, not so long ago, she would've given him shit for his ridiculous truck, but in this moment, with nothing but pure lust in her eyes, she was thankful for his spacious back seats and tinted windows. He slams the door behind him, and effectively clicks the lock attached to his keys before tossing them into the passenger side seat, his hands now free to grasp the supple flesh of her bottom. His lips return to the open plain of her neck, and she sighs, knowing he was headed towards the sweet spot in the junction of her neck and jaw. He finds it within seconds, and she chokes on a gasp. Her hands find purchase in his blonde locks, a lot less soft from the gel, but still comfortable. Jake groans against her collarbone from the sensation alone, his hips subconsciously thrusting to meet against her own. His lips travel down to the exposed top of her chest before he pulls back, tossing his uniform top and undershirt, dog tags dangling down to brush against her skin. He looks down at her with his hands grasping her hips.
"You sure about this?"
She nods, she'd never been more sure.
"I need your words, baby."
God, this man was going to kill her.
"Yeah, I'm sure, Jake."
In one swift move, he's yanking down the skirt on her hips, her undergarments with it. His knee separates her legs, leaving her completely exposed to his eyes alone. He shakes his head and tuts, smiling the infamous Hangman grin.
"As beautiful as the day I lost 'er."
He darts back down between her legs before beginning to ravish her completely. The next long stretch of time is spent with both of them completely lost in one another. The sound of skin meeting skin fills the air, mingling with cries of pleasure, mangled gasps, and the whispers of each other's names. By the time they both fall against one another after their heights, they're panting and sweating, completely sated and exhausted. The air is quiet, only their heavy breaths between them. Jake is the first to speak after a bout of nothingness.
"Who were you here to meet with anyhow? Hard Deck doesn't seem like somewhere you'd come for shits and giggles."
She takes a breath, rolling over to lie on his chest, tucking her head under his chin as his large hand grips her hip, pulling her closer.
"Met some guy on Tinder. Brayden? Bryson? I don't remember, just saw a really nice Bronco in his pictures. Seemed cute enough for a casual Friday night."
Jake's eyes widen, he moves his head to his hand, propping himself up to look down at her.
"Bradley, maybe?"
She shrugs.
"Yeah, maybe, why?"
"He got a mustache, lots of funky patterned shirts?"
She furrows her brow, wondering how he knew.
"Yeah, why?"
Jake groans as he lays back down, running a hand over his face. She giggles, leaning up to prop her head on his chest.
"What?"
Jake grins.
"I can't believe I was about to lose you to Bradshaw of all people."
She listens to him chuckle, but she doesn't return the action. She shakes her head, pushing blonde hair out of his face.
"You won't lose me, not again."
-
219 notes · View notes
syluslnd · 2 days
Note
Hello I'm sorry if you're not taking requests. But please please if you are can you make the part 2 of Sylus as an online sugar daddy meeting with his sugar baby.
But please ignore it if you don't take requests and your writing is SOOO GOODD. Have a nice day!!
Sylus meeting with his online sugar baby
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(note-you sent this a while back when I first started posting so I hope you’re still around lol I’m sorry for taking so long🤍)
Tags • virgin reader,sugar daddy sylus,verbal teasing,fingering,climaxing
5k word count (I got carried away sorry)
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Sylus himself couldn't even believe he was doing this. It wasn’t just a waste of time for him; he never thought he’d be the type to seek out a woman, especially in a place like this but something about you intrigued him in a way he couldn't ignore.
As he leaned against his sleek black car outside the arcade the neon lights flickered, illuminating the faces of the young couples and friends inside. He felt out of place the leader of Onychinus waiting in a childish venue a stark contrast to his usual world of power and control.
He glanced at his watch, the minutes stretching painfully. He was serious about this arrangement, after all. He had his reasons, practical ones—companionship, a distraction from the relentless pressure of his life. But he couldn't deny the thrill of meeting you, the allure of stepping into a world so different from his own.
The sound of laughter drew his attention, and then he saw you approaching. Your smile was bright, a refreshing contrast to the shadows that usually loomed around him. You looked confident almost carefree as you made your way toward him.
“Hi! sorry if I kept you waiting,” you said your voice light and cheerful,opposite of how he’s used to people greeting him.
“It’s fine,” Sylus replied, maintaining his serious demeanor. “I’m just getting used to this.”
“This?” you asked, gesturing around the arcade. “I get it,It’s not exactly your usual scene.”
He finally met your gaze, feeling a flicker of something unexpected—curiosity, perhaps. “I’m not here for the games sweetie”.
You smiled at his straightforwardness, your cheerful demeanor undeterred by his serious tone. “I figured,but the games are kind of fun! You should try one!”
Sylus raised an eyebrow, intrigued but unwilling to show it. “I doubt I’d find much enjoyment in... this.” He gestured around, feeling a mix of irritation and fascination at how different your world was.
You chuckled softly, the sound warming the chilly air between you. “You might be surprised,It’s nice to escape sometimes.” There was a glimmer in your eyes that caught him off guard.
“Escape?” he echoed, feeling the weight of his own reality settle back over him. “I’m not sure that’s possible for me.”
Your expression shifted slightly, the playful light dimming as you regarded him more seriously. “I didn’t mean to pry. I just thought—”
“It’s fine,” he interrupted, his voice sharper than intended. He didn’t want to scare you away, but vulnerability was foreign territory for him.
You looked at him, studying his chiseled features and the tension that pulled at the corners of his mouth. “You’re not like anyone I’ve ever met,” you said softly, as if sensing the walls he’d erected around himself.
“Maybe that’s for the best,” he replied, a hint of angst creeping into his tone. It was a reminder of the danger he lived in, the enemies lurking in shadows,never being able to be off guard . “You don’t know what you’re getting into.”
Your gaze remained steady, unwavering. “and yet here I am,Isn’t that the thrill of it? To step outside our comfort zones?”
“Thrill,” he muttered, a bitter smile playing on his lips. “More like recklessness.” But even as he said it, he couldn’t shake the instinct to protect you, to shield your brightness from his dark world.
You tilted your head, curiosity gleaming in your eyes. “You’re so serious sylus,what are you afraid of?”
He hesitated, the weight of his duality pressing down. “That I’ll lose you, kitten.” The admission surprised even him. He didn’t know you well, yet there was something about you that ignited an urgency within him.
Your smile returned, softer now, disarming his cold demeanor. “I’m not going anywhere,not yet at least.”
For the first time, Sylus felt a crack in his armor. Perhaps this sugar daddy arrangement was about more than just companionship; it was a chance to explore a connection that was both terrifying and exhilarating.
As you took a step closer, he felt an instinctive need to draw you nearer, to keep you safe. “Let’s get out of here,” he said abruptly, surprising even himself with the sudden protective urge.
You blinked, a mix of confusion and excitement dancing across your face. “Where to?”
“Somewhere... away from all this.”
And with that, the tension shifted. Sylus realized he was no longer just a mafia boss seeking distraction; he was a man drawn to someone who could bring light into his otherwise shadowed existence.
As sylus drove you to the hotel, the tension in the car was palpable, a mix of excitement and uncertainty. The neon lights outside blurred by, but all he could focus on was the way you shifted in your seat, a nervous smile playing on your lips.
Once inside the hotel, he led you to a private suite, the door clicking shut behind you with a sense of finality. The room was elegantly furnished, dim lighting casting a warm glow. You looked around, your earlier cheerfulness tempered by a hint of shyness.
“What happened to the lively little kitten I met at the arcade?” Sylus teased, leaning against the doorframe with a smirk. “You seemed so confident, and now...”
You bit your lip, glancing at the floor. “I don’t know! It’s just… different, you know?”
“Different,how so kitten?” He stepped closer, his eyes gleaming with playful mischief. “You’re not worried about me, are you?”
“No, it’s not that” you replied, trying to maintain your composure. “It’s just... you’re a bit intimidating.”
He chuckled, clearly enjoying your flustered state. “Intimidating? Sweetie, I promise I’m just a guy, a guy who’s curious about why you’re suddenly so shy.”
You took a breath, trying to regain some confidence. “I guess I just didn’t expect to be here, with you, like this.”
“Is that so?” He leaned against the edge of the bed, arms crossed, the teasing glint in his eyes intensifying. “I would’ve thought you’d be eager to explore every aspect of this arrangement.”
“Explore?” you echoed, feeling your cheeks heat.
“Yeah, you know,” he said, a playful smirk on his lips. “Try out all the fun things you can’t do over the phone .”
Your heart raced and you glanced away, flustered. “I—”
“Come on, kitten,” he coaxed, stepping closer again, his voice dropping to a whisper. “Are you a little more innocent than you let on? Is that what this is about?”
You froze, your mind racing. “Um, well, I—”
“Are you a virgin, sweetie?” His words hung in the air, a teasing challenge that made you blush even deeper.
Your eyes widened, caught off guard. “I… maybe?” The admission slipped out before you could stop it, and you felt utterly exposed.
Sylus raised an eyebrow, a mischievous grin spreading across his face. “Well, that explains the shyness,but it’s cute,” he said, leaning in closer a playful glint in his eye. “I didn’t realize I was dealing with such an innocent little thing.”
You shifted your weight, heart pounding. “Stop it!” you protested, half-laughing, half-embarrassed. “You’re making me feel like a kid!”
“Maybe you are,” he teased, his tone light but his gaze serious. “But don’t worry, kitten. I’ll make sure you’re taken care of.”
Your stomach fluttered at his words, a mix of excitement and nervousness washing over you. “You’re such a meanie!” you said, trying to sound indignant but failing miserably.
“I’m just having a little fun, sweetie,” he replied, his voice low and inviting. “You’re adorable when you blush like that. I could get used to this.”
The playful banter hung in the air, creating an electric atmosphere. You couldn’t help but smile, feeling the walls you’d built around yourself slowly crumbling. “Maybe I’ll show you more of my personality if you promise to be nice,” you offered, your voice teasing back.
“Oh, I’ll be nice,” he promised, stepping back slightly to give you space. “But I can’t make any guarantees about being gentle.”
You bit your lip, trying to suppress the thrill that raced through you at his words. “I guess I’ll have to hold you to that.”
And in that moment, amidst the teasing and the laughter, something shifted between you, a connection deepening beneath the playful facade. Sylus felt a flicker of something he hadn’t anticipated—an urge to protect not just your innocence, but also to cherish the light you brought into his dark world.
Sylus moved towards you, the teasing smile on his lips fading just enough for his expression to darken, a serious intensity taking over. He crossed the room slowly, closing the space between the two of you, and before you could react, his hands were on your waist. With a firm but gentle grip, he lifted you effortlessly and plopped you onto the bed. The air left your lungs in a quiet gasp and for a moment, you were caught off guard by how swiftly he moved.
“Sweetie,” he murmured, his voice dipping into something lower, something that made the room feel smaller. His gaze locked on yours, the playfulness still there but laced with a seriousness that hadn’t been present before. “You have no idea what you’ve gotten yourself into, do you?”
You swallowed hard, the nervousness creeping back in as he loomed over you. “I… I think I do.”
He smirked, but there was something almost sad in it. “You think, huh?” His thumb brushed lightly against your waist as he knelt onto the bed, his hands still holding you in place. “Kitten, I’ve been playing this game for a long time. I know when someone’s out of their depth.”
The teasing edge in his tone made your heart race, but there was a weight behind his words that made you shift beneath him, uneasy but drawn in all the same.
“You’re a sweet little thing,” he said, his voice almost tender, though his words held a darker undertone. “Too sweet for someone like me. This isn’t like those playful messages online, sweetheart. I live in a world that’s... far from innocent.”
Your breath caught as his fingers trailed up your side, the motion almost soothing despite the tension in the air. “But you… you still want me here, don’t you?”
He leaned closer, his lips brushing the shell of your ear as he whispered, “I want you, kitten. More than I should,but I worry about what happens if you stay in my world too long.”
You blinked, trying to steady yourself, your mind spinning. “What do you mean?”
Sylus pulled back slightly, his face hovering just inches from yours. The smirk returned, but his eyes were shadowed, conflicted. “You see, I’ve got my fun little games, but outside of this room? My life isn’t soft. It’s sharp edges and shadows..and you” he said, brushing a thumb over your cheek, “you’re too innocent,you don’t belong in that darkness.”
Your stomach tightened, the weight of his words sinking in. “I can handle it. I’m not a kid.”
He chuckled softly, though there was no humor in it this time. “You’re not a kid, but you’re pure, and I’m not.” His hand found its way to your chin, tilting your head so your eyes met his. “You think being my sugar baby is all fun and games. But in person? It’s different. You’re not just playing with me anymore, sweetheart. You’re playing with fire.”
Your pulse quickened as he shifted his weight, pinning you gently beneath him. “And what if I want to get burned?” you whispered, feeling bolder in the heat of the moment.
For a second, his expression softened, and his fingers threaded through your hair as he gazed down at you with a mix of affection and regret. “Careful what you wish for, sweetie,” he murmured. “I might just give it to you.”
Despite the teasing, there was an undeniable protectiveness in the way he spoke, as if he wasn’t sure if he wanted to pull you closer or keep you at arm’s length. It was as if he feared that pulling you too far into his world would extinguish the light you carried—something that had begun to matter to him in ways he wasn’t prepared to admit.
And in that moment, you realized Sylus wasn’t just worried about what he could do to you. He was worried about what his world could do to someone like you.
Sylus hovered above you, his eyes flickering between restraint and desire, that teasing smirk playing on his lips as if he was holding himself back. You could feel the tension in the air, thick and electric, his fingers still gently grazing your cheek. Despite all his playful words and sly smirks, you could see it—he was hesitating, his dark world swirling in his mind, wondering if pulling you closer would be a mistake.
For a moment, you bit your lip, considering what to do. But something inside you shifted. If Sylus wasn’t going to make the move, you would.
With a sudden burst of boldness, you reached up and cupped the back of his neck, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath your fingertips. His eyes widened in surprise, the smirk faltering just slightly as you pulled him closer, your lips hovering inches from his.
“I’m not as fragile as you think, Sylus,” you whispered, your voice steady even though your heart pounded in your chest. “I can handle whatever you throw at me.”
For a moment, he simply stared at you, as if caught completely off guard by your sudden boldness. Then, a slow grin spread across his face, his eyes gleaming with amusement and something darker, something hungry.
“Oh, kitten,” he murmured, his voice low and velvety, “you think you’re being serious, don’t you?”
You kept your grip firm on the back of his neck, refusing to back down. “I am serious.”
The way his eyes softened at your determined expression made your stomach flip. He found you adorable—your attempt at taking control only seemed to amuse him more. “Look at you,” he said, voice dripping with affection and a hint of that ever-present teasing. “So tough, huh?”
Before you could say anything else, Sylus closed the distance, his lips crashing against yours in a kiss that stole the breath from your lungs. His hands, which had been holding you so delicately, tightened their grip, pulling you flush against him.
Your boldness evaporated as quickly as it had appeared, replaced by a wave of flustered heat. The intensity of his kiss left you dizzy and though you had initiated this, you quickly realized you were in over your head. Your heart pounded in your ears, and you felt your face burning with embarrassment.
He broke the kiss just long enough to chuckle against your lips, his breath warm as he whispered, “What’s the matter, sweetie? You’re the one who made the move.”
You could barely respond, too flustered to form words. He loved it—he could see it in your wide eyes, the way your chest rose and fell with shallow breaths. You’d been so bold just moments before, but now? Now, you were back to being the adorable, innocent girl that had him wrapped around her finger.
Sylus leaned in again, this time brushing his lips over your cheek, down to your jaw, his voice a low, teasing rumble. “So cute when you’re all shy like this.”
Your hands trembled slightly, but you held onto him, trying not to completely melt under his touch. “I’m not… shy” you mumbled, but the words came out weak, betraying how flustered you really were.
“Oh, sure” he teased, his lips ghosting over the sensitive skin of your neck, sending a shiver down your spine. “Is that why you can’t even look me in the eyes right now?”
You wanted to protest, to regain some sense of composure but before you could, his hand slid down from your waist, trailing over your hip, slow and deliberate. His touch sent a shock of heat through you, and you instinctively arched toward him, though the movement only made you feel more embarrassed.
Sylus grinned against your skin, clearly enjoying the way you responded to him. “What happened to handling everything, kitten? Still think you’re in control?”
The way he spoke, his voice thick with amusement and a teasing edge, made it clear he was fully aware of the effect he had on you. He wanted to push you, see how far he could take it.
His hand slid lower, his fingers brushing over the curve of your thigh, teasing you just enough to leave you breathless. He pulled back just slightly, his face hovering above yours, his eyes scanning your flushed expression with a mixture of fondness and wicked delight.
“You look so cute when you’re flustered,” he murmured, his tone soft but with that same edge. “But you’re not ready for the things I want to do to you, are you?”
Your breath caught in your throat, but you met his gaze, determined not to back down completely. “Try me,” you whispered, though your voice was shaky.
Sylus chuckled again, leaning down to kiss you once more, slower this time, savoring the moment. “Oh, kitten,” he whispered between kisses, “you’re going to be so much fun.”
Sylus hovered over you, his lips barely leaving yours as he deepened the kiss, drawing out every flustered breath and soft sound you made. His hand, still trailing over your thigh, paused, fingers curling just enough to make you squirm beneath him. He pulled back, only an inch, enough to look at you with that knowing smirk—the one that told you he had complete control of the situation, no matter how much you’d tried to take charge.
“You really think you’re ready for this?” he asked, voice low, dark, but still teasing. His hand slid higher, resting on the bare skin just beneath the hem of your dress, his thumb brushing in soft circles that made it impossible to focus.
You swallowed hard, your heart hammering in your chest, but you managed to meet his gaze with more boldness than you felt. “Yea,I can handle it.”
For a second, he just stared at you, his expression unreadable. Then, his smirk softened into something more, something almost affectionate. “You’re adorable,” he whispered, brushing a strand of hair from your face. “Trying so hard to be brave.”
Before you could respond, his hand gripped your thigh a little tighter, drawing a soft gasp from you. He leaned in close, his breath hot against your neck. “But you don’t have to pretend with me, kitten. I know exactly how to get under your skin.”
The teasing lilt in his voice sent a thrill through you, and though you wanted to hold onto that boldness, the way his fingers danced across your skin made it impossible to keep up the act. Your breath quickened, and you could feel the heat rising in your face as his touch became more deliberate, more confident.
“See?” he murmured, his lips brushing over your collarbone, leaving a trail of warmth in their wake. “You’re already trembling, sweetie. I told you… you’re not ready for this.”
His words were a challenge, but they weren’t mocking. It was as if he was genuinely testing you, seeing how far you’d go before backing down. And despite the way he was unraveling you, you weren’t ready to surrender just yet.
“I can handle you,” you whispered, though the quiver in your voice betrayed your confidence.
Sylus chuckled softly, his lips moving up to your ear, the sound of his voice sending a shiver through you. “Is that right?” His hand slid even higher, fingers brushing dangerously close to places that made you gasp. “Then why do you sound so nervous, kitten?”
Your face burned, and you instinctively bit your lip to stop the soft whimper threatening to escape. But Sylus wasn’t about to let you off the hook that easily. His lips were back at your neck, pressing a lingering kiss there before whispering, “I love how quiet you get when you’re flustered. It’s like you don’t know what to do with yourself.”
You could feel the warmth of his smile against your skin and it made your pulse race even faster. His hand moved deliberately now, tracing the edge of your inner thigh, teasing but not giving you what you secretly craved. It was maddening how in control he was, how effortlessly he played with your reactions.
“You’re so easy to read, sweetie,” he said, pulling back just enough to look into your eyes, his expression both amused and intense. “I could keep this up all night, just watching you squirm.”
You couldn’t help it—your face flushed a deep red and you looked away, embarrassed by how easily he was getting to you. But Sylus wouldn’t let you escape that easily. He caught your chin between his thumb and forefinger, gently turning your face back to his.
“Don’t hide from me,” he whispered, his voice softer now, though no less intense. “I want to see every expression, every little blush. It’s too cute to miss.”
The tenderness in his words made your chest tighten, but there was still a darkness to them, a possessiveness that left you breathless. You were caught between the soft affection he was showing you and the overwhelming heat of his touch and you were losing, fast.
“I can’t…” you started, but the words fell apart as he leaned down, capturing your lips in another heated kiss. His hand slid higher, fingers teasing the edge of your underwear, and you gasped into his mouth, your body arching involuntarily toward him.
He broke the kiss just to smirk against your lips, clearly loving the way you were reacting. “Can’t what, sweetie?” he teased, his breath mingling with yours. “You were so sure you could handle it.”
Your mind was spinning, and though you’d started this, it was clear that Sylus had taken control completely. But despite how flustered you were, you didn’t want him to stop. You wanted more, even if you could barely keep up with him.
“I can handle it,” you whispered, more determined now, though your voice shook.
Sylus smiled, the kind of smile that made your heart skip a beat. He leaned down again, this time his lips brushing just beneath your ear. “You’re so stubborn, kitten. I like that about you.”
Then, his hand slid down, tracing a slow, torturous path along your inner thigh. His touch was light, teasing, just enough to leave you aching for more but never giving in completely.
“But you still have so much to learn.”
Sylus’s smirk deepened as he watched your breath hitch, every little movement you made betraying just how much he was affecting you. His fingers, still tracing delicate patterns along your inner thigh, were slow, deliberate, and maddeningly teasing. Every time he got close enough to make your heart race, he’d pull back just a little, dragging out your anticipation until it felt unbearable.
“Look at you,” he murmured, his lips brushing against your ear as his voice dropped lower, sending a thrill down your spine. “You’re trembling already, kitten. You’re not used to this, are you? No one’s touched you like this before.”
You didn’t trust yourself to respond, but that only made his smile grow. He pressed a slow, lingering kiss to your neck, letting the heat from his lips sink into your skin. His free hand slid up to your waist, gripping just firm enough to make you arch toward him instinctively. He knew exactly how to play with your body, how to drive you wild without even giving you what you wanted.
Sylus pulled back just slightly, his eyes locking with yours, and the intensity in them made your stomach flip. He tilted his head, watching every flustered expression cross your face, drinking in the way your lips parted, the soft, breathless sounds that escaped you.
“Still think you can handle me?” he whispered, his voice rich with amusement, but his touch told a different story—it was heavier now, more intent.
You bit your lip, trying to steady your breath, but it was impossible with him this close. His fingers trailed back up your thigh, higher this time, slipping just beneath the edge of your underwear, the movement slow, teasing.
The sensation made you gasp, your body instinctively pushing closer to his. That small, desperate movement wasn’t lost on Sylus. He grinned, clearly loving how much you were craving his touch now.
“You’re not as innocent as you act, are you, kitten?” he teased, his breath warm against your skin. “Look at how you’re moving for me. You’re not shy now, are you?”
His words sent a wave of heat through you, and though you wanted to hold onto that boldness from earlier, you couldn’t deny how flustered you were under his control. Your body was betraying you, responding to every touch, every low whisper and Sylus was enjoying every second of it.
He leaned in, his lips brushing against yours, but he didn’t kiss you—not yet. He stayed there, close enough that you could feel his breath, the teasing proximity making your pulse quicken.
“You’re going to have to ask for it,” he whispered, his voice dark and tempting. “If you want more, sweetie, you’re going to have to tell me.”
Your mind was spinning, but the heat of the moment made it impossible to think clearly. Sylus’s hand was still tormenting you, fingers barely brushing over the sensitive skin between your legs, teasing you in a way that made it hard to form words.
“I—” you started, but the words caught in your throat as his touch grew more deliberate, his fingers moving in slow, torturous circles that left you breathless.
“Come on, kitten,” he coaxed, his lips grazing your jaw, his voice dripping with amusement. “I know you want it. Just say it.”
You could barely breathe, let alone speak, but the way he was looking at you, the way his touch had you completely at his mercy, left you no choice. “Please,” you whispered, your voice shaky.
“Please what?” he asked, his tone smug, but his touch never faltered. “You have to tell me exactly what you want.”
Your heart raced as the words hovered on the tip of your tongue, but Sylus wasn’t going to give you any relief until you said it. He waited, his touch slow and deliberate, every movement sending shocks through your body.
“I want… more,” you finally breathed out, your voice barely above a whisper.
His smirk grew, clearly satisfied with your answer. “That’s a good girl” he murmured, and without warning, his fingers slid fully beneath the fabric, pressing against the heat of your body.
The sensation made you gasp, your back arching off the bed as a wave of pleasure shot through you. Sylus’s hand moved with deliberate precision, his touch confident and unrelenting. He watched your reaction with a dark, predatory gleam in his eyes, clearly reveling in the way you responded to him.
“You’re so sensitive, kitten,” he whispered, his voice low and husky as his fingers moved in slow, torturous circles. “I could make you come just like this, couldn’t I? Just by playing with you a little.”
Your breath hitched, your body trembling beneath him, and you hated how much truth there was in his words. The heat was building inside you and the way Sylus’s fingers moved—slow but intentional, pushing you closer and closer to the edge—had you desperate for release.
But he wasn’t going to make it that easy for you.
Just when you were about to lose yourself completely, Sylus’s hand stilled, pulling back just enough to leave you breathless and aching. You let out a soft, frustrated whimper, but Sylus only smiled, leaning down to press a teasing kiss to your lips.
“Oh, sweetie,” he whispered against your mouth, his voice filled with dark amusement. “I told you, I’m not going to be gentle. I want to see just how far I can push you.”
Sylus watched you squirm beneath him, clearly enjoying the way you were unraveling under his touch. His lips ghosted over your neck, sending shivers through your body, while his hand lingered just out of reach, keeping you on edge. Your breath was coming in short, shallow gasps, your body aching for him to push you further.
“Look at you, kitten,” he murmured, his voice soft but laced with wicked intent. “So desperate already… all from a little teasing.”
You whimpered in frustration, your hips moving involuntarily toward his hand, silently begging him for more. But Sylus wasn’t going to give in that easily. He smirked against your skin, his fingers brushing lightly over the sensitive spot between your legs, but not applying enough pressure to give you what you wanted.
“I could keep you like this all night,” he whispered, his breath hot against your ear. “Just on the edge, begging for more. But…” His hand slid back into place, pressing more firmly now, drawing a gasp from you as he began moving again, slow and deliberate, each touch pushing you closer to the edge. “…I want to hear you scream my name.”
His fingers worked with maddening precision, moving in slow, rhythmic circles that sent jolts of pleasure through your body. Every touch, every stroke, was pushing you higher, closer to the point of no return. Your back arched off the bed, your breath coming in ragged gasps as the heat coiled tight inside you, ready to snap.
“That's it, sweetie,” Sylus whispered, his voice dark and enticing. “I can feel it. You’re so close, aren’t you?”
You could barely respond, too caught up in the overwhelming sensation building inside you. Your fingers gripped the sheets, your body trembling beneath him as his pace quickened, his touch becoming more relentless, more intense.
“Sylus…” you gasped, your voice trembling with need.
“Say it again,” he demanded, his tone both commanding and teasing. “I want to hear you say my name when you come.”
His words sent a thrill through you, and before you knew it, the wave hit you. Your body tensed, then shattered, pleasure crashing through you in overwhelming waves. You cried out his name, your voice shaky, breathless, as your body gave in to the intense release.
Sylus didn’t stop. His fingers kept moving, drawing out every last bit of pleasure until you were trembling and gasping for breath, completely undone beneath him. Only then did he slow, pulling back just enough to leave you sensitive and spent, but still aching for more.
As your body came down from the high, Sylus grinned down at you, clearly pleased with the way he had unraveled you so completely. His eyes were dark with satisfaction, and that familiar teasing smirk was back on his lips.
“You look so cute when you’re a mess like this,” he said, his voice dripping with amusement. He leaned in close, his lips brushing against your ear as he whispered, “Was that what you wanted, kitten? Or did I push you too far?”
You could barely speak, still trying to catch your breath, but Sylus didn’t need a response. He chuckled softly, his hand trailing lazily down your thigh as he watched your flushed, exhausted expression.
“Don’t worry,” he murmured, his tone both affectionate and mocking. “I’ll take it easy on you… next time.”
He pulled back slightly, his fingers still brushing over your skin in slow, teasing strokes that made you shudder even in your sensitive state. “But you’ve got a lot to learn if you think you can keep up with me.”
You looked up at him, still dazed from the intensity of your climax, and Sylus’s smirk only deepened. He leaned down, kissing the corner of your mouth before whispering against your lips, “You’re mine now, kitten. And I’m not done with you yet.”
Before you could respond, he slid his hand away completely, leaving you breathless and aching, his eyes gleaming with wicked intent
“We’re just getting started,” he teased, a satisfied chuckle escaping his lips as he watched the lingering need in your eyes. “And I’m going to enjoy every second of it.”
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Mission Control 10
Warnings: non/dubcon, violence, stalking, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.
My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.
Character: Captain Hydra
Summary: a man marches into your life on a mission
As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️
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You still don’t know what to call the man. Captain? Rogers? He’s just the man to you. The stranger who doesn’t speak. 
He doesn’t linger. You can’t help but wonder if it’s some game. If he’s playing with you. His stoicism is just another weapon against you. As he leaves, you sit, stunned and lost. Alone. 
The front door of the cabin shuts you in but you don’t know that you would have the courage to let yourself out. The man found you once; unbidden and unexpected, you’re certain he could do it again and again and again. So, you wait until you’re certain the house is empty before you get up. 
You fix the nightgown and hug yourself as you peek through the open bedroom door. You emerge warily and glance through to the bathroom. The front room once jars you further. You forgot how cozy, how normal it seams. 
You wander around the frayed rug and inspect every piece of furniture. A draft runs through the room, blowing in around the door. There’s an iron basket of split logs next to the fireplace. There’s something yellow on top.
You go over and open the packet; inside, a lighter and a little booklet on how to start a fire. Hm. There’s a bag of kindling next to the wood as well. Maybe later. 
You set the packet back down and turn to face the other doorway. The one you’ve not yet ventured through. The kitchen is small but tidy. On the table, there’s a small crate. Within, sorted neatly, are similar silver packets to the one he handed you in the bedroom. They are labeled alongside a large bag of quick oats. 
The oats simply read, ‘Breakfast’. The writing is jagged but legible. Each packet is labeled decisively; Day 1 – Dinner, Day 2 – Lunch... On and on. You turn and face the fridge. The only thing on it is another note. ‘Drink Water. Not Tap.’ Got it. After the complete absence of communication, it’s nice to have at least a little directive. 
You retreat to the bedroom and check the empty packet. Yep, Day 1 – Lunch. Amid the chaos of your abduction and the desolation of this place, the pieces of order stick out sorely. It all feels so fractured. 
You go to the armoir and try to open it. The doors don’t budge. You back up and cross your arms again. You’re really starting to get cold. You should get the fire going before your fingers go completely numb. 
You strip the flannel blanket from the bed and wrap it around your shoulders. You go back into the living room and hep the extra layer at your waist as you sit on your knees and try to figure out the fireplace. After several splinters and some sparks from the lighter, you get a flame struck. 
You stay close and hold up your hands as it begins to lick. You settle down on your butt and hug yourself under the blanket. You watch the flames swirl and your vision blurs with little orbs of colour.  
The questions don’t matter. The answers won’t make a difference. Why are you here? Where is here? No, it’s useless. Just like from the first moment you saw him. You know now, it wasn’t the first time he saw you. 
You hang your head and let it pour out of you. The fear throttles you so you’re choking on your sobs. Your body wracks and your skull throbs. You don’t want to live like this but you’re too afraid to die. 
You wade up from the dregs of your grief and the room comes clear again. You’re on your side before the glowing embers. You sit up and put another piece of wood on the pile then get up. You stagger around to the bedroom, your feet moving without your mind’s intent. 
You go to the corner. You stare at the shelf. The pictures, the stolen parts of your existence, the shank of hair... is gone? You saw him put it there. Oh well. Good riddance. 
You shudder and squint over the images. There’s one from over a year ago. The last time you saw your family. You shake your head and back up. No. No. You didn’t know for that long. Well, how could you expect something like this? 
You sniffle and leave the room. You can’t stay in there. Not with that shrine? Altar? You don’t even know what. 
You take a stiff pillow from the couch and lower yourself in front of the fireplace again. You close your eyes but you don’t know if you’ll be able to sleep. There isn’t much else to do. 
Time skews into a haze. It’s dark, then light, and dark again. Your stomach gurgles but by the time you get the food warm, you’re too sick to eat more than a few bites. As the days wilt by, a stench roils from your body. 
The packets help you track the day, even as you miss some, you try to keep some order in your mind. On Day Four, you dare to try the faucet. The tub pours out steaming water. You adjust it before you sink in. It’s as close to peace as you’ve found. 
As the water stagnates around your body, you can’t help but think. When will he come back? Will he be back? You don’t think he’s out there having fun and frolicking. You could tell by his attire, by the marks of death on that shield. 
You let the water go cold then drain it. You pull the same nightgown on, even as it reeks. You just need something on. You reclaim the blanket and your perch before the fireplace. You wish you had something warm to drink. Coffee or tea. Nothing could ever make this place anything less than a prison, but you wouldn’t mind some comfort. 
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Now hear me out,what if. What if we did get Sent back to our world. But. Our monke was sent with us. Pretty please 👉👈🥺 We gotta fuel the shenanigans of things somehow. I wanna see him get whiplash from both technology and culture shock. We've been nice to our boi for a good while,it's time to bully him finally.
When you both wake up in the middle of the city, with people standing, asking if there was a con around or something, you know that you both are in something big.
You needed to find a good hiding place, but you knew what was happening: you and the Destined One were now in your own world.
The buzzling city, the cars, the technology—everything made his poor brain scrumble. You cane from this?! This chaos?!
The smell for him is difficult to handle, the absence of trees, and the strange behavior of the people...
///
"This is...your home?"
"Yup."
Hiding in a tree, the two of you admired the small portion of the city that the park hallowed you to observe. While you remembered what it feels like to breathe the same air where you were born, Yuán Fèn couldn't take his eyes off the palace in the distance.
"Are those... pagodas?"
"Oh no, those are skycrapers. People live and work there."
"Oh..."
Everything was out standing. And the mortal did it without the help of gods or others! They did it themselves! He gasped again, his tail swaving excited.
"We should go now! ...Maybe you can finally meet my family!"
///
That's your plan...until you find out what's really happened to you.
You were wondering if the car that had crashed into you was some sort of allucination or something like that, but when you reached your home, you could feel all the pain that you hadn't felt the day of the accident.
When you knocked at your door, you guessed that your mother could feel dizzy. After your disappearance of months, what you didn't expect was her tò Just faint on your porch, right in front of you and Yuán Fèn. You both were able to bring her into her room, and after that, you started to notice a pattern that scared you.
While Yuán Fèn tried to make her come back from the world of the living, you noticed the door of your room locked; many of your photos were missing from the usual spot. And there, in the living room, a photo of you at your prom, in an intricate frame. Written in silver ink, the lines "in loving memory.".
You really wanted to faint at that moment.
///
It feels so strange looking at your own grave. You guessed that they would you in this one particular spot. It was a family place there.
"I told them that I wanted to be cremated."
Yuán Fèn was more interested in trying to decipher your mental state. You were just there, watching at your own photo. He felt so strange... so that was what Mitraya meant when he said you were rebuking everything in your real world by choosing him. He looked again at that stone block, your name carved in there... then moved away.
"Okay, I think I'm in need of... What are you doing?!"
You spotted him taking a few flowers from one spot to another.
"Playing respect!"
"To Who?!"
Then, with the small bouquet in his hand, he put the flowers in the small pot near your photo. 
"..oh ..." That was the only word that you said after that.
///
Three things were clear to you:
1) Going back to Mount Huaguo was the priority;
2) You needed to find some money since you were basically broke;
3) Need to keep the monkey away from every electrical device.
The first one was based more on a sense of morality. After all, you made a choice, and that was the choice to stay in that world full of magic because you fell in love with the destined one and a simple cane back home wasn't enough to move you. 
Not to mention that you have nothing that came back anymore, so...
The second, hard but not that much. You have nowhere to go, so you were forced to stay in a cheap and very not so sanitary motel that you both found. 
Luck were your side because that place needed someone that could clean or fix staff and you two? We're the masters at fixing staff...sorta.
But the third one...oooh boy...
///
You were drinking coffee, how much did you miss it, trying to schedule the next day of work for you and Yuán Fèn. You could clearly hear him doing something in the small kitchenette, moving staff, putting them somewhere, opening things, cutting them...
Then you heard the roar of that old blender that you both found around.
" DARLING?" You used your very sweet tone, a sign that you were expecting the worst for him. "What are you doing?!"
"Nothing."
"That doesn't sound like a -"
And there, in front of you, he putted a very strangely colored liquid, viscous, and with some strange objects floating here and there.
"What Is It?"
"A bunch of staff!"
"I know that; it's clearly a bunch of different staff."
"You should try it, then talk!"
"I genuinely want it five meters away from me."
"Suit yourself!" And then, in your horror, he proceeded to drink the staff. 
///
After days of adjusting and trying to get used back to the modern world, when you both got inside your shared room and found no one but Maitreya himself, you both got a huge shock. You don't know what was the most unrecognizable scene—the actual boy in the room or the fact that he was reading a comic book that talked about the Monkey King or the Yankees cap in his head.
And he just waved! Like nothing! 
He decided to give some explanation, but the most important was why you were sent there and how to. come back.
The first was more for the two of you. After your decision, you decided to leave your world behind, but you did know what that really meant? He wanted to know that and gave you a free way out, a small taste of your original world, and the thought that even this could sway you away from the destined one, and he received a slap on his head by you, and he admitted he deserved it. Another test of loyalty? They really believed you were so easy?!
Well, many were before you...
As for coming back, it was easy, of course! Did he not do it himself right now? 
When you and Yuán Fèn looked at each other, Happy Tò was able to finally come back to Mount Huaguo, but you were stopped by the kid.
"You have to finish your schedule this week! And, oh, won't it be better if you gave a notice?"
How the heck did he know these things?!
"Aaand," he continued, holding an old toaster, "explain to me this little miracle."
@sun-jglim @crimsonflameproxy
@everlastingmoonlightsworld @biankanoir
@miraclecherryblossomsblog @sleepingdramaqueen
@certifiedsimpinggalore @cromboloni
@masksandfeathers @cinnamonroll-anon
@justrandomlypassing @cute-angi
@luckyangelballoon @dressycobra7
@naarra @virtualexpertanchor
@phoenixeclipse-lmkau @szynkaaa
@kirax-the-lazy-girl. @sleepydang
@weaverworks @kishimiest
@marcu-bug @thepoweroffiction
@riolu4 @angryvampire
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eddis-not-eeddis · 3 days
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How To Stop Killing Conversations
Talking is hard. People are confusing. Making friends is difficult, and interacting with coworkers is tortuous.
You want to make friends, you want to reach out, but it's hard and every time you start a conversation it dies, or limps along until both you and the person you're talking to are looking for excuses to kill it and put it out of it's misery so you can both escape the increasingly awkward situation.
As an introvert who has suffered a lot of social anxiety in my time, let me share a few tricks I've learned over the years going through hundreds and thousands of excruciatingly painful conversations until I found something that works. I've kind of distilled the process.
ALWAYS ASK A QUESTION!!!
The first thing is to always leave your partner an opening. You need to let each other talk for a conversation to get off the ground, but it's more than that, really. You need to actively encourage each other to talk. The best way to do that is to ask questions.
Here are two examples of an introduction: Example A
You: Hello.
Them: Hello.
You: Nice to meet you.
Them: Nice to meet you too.
Example B
Y: Hello, nice to meet you, how are you? T: I’m doing well, yourself?
Y: I've been really well. How are you liking the weather?
T: I'm so happy the weather's finally getting cooler, I'm looking forward to pumpkin spice season. Do you like lattes?
Do you see how in Example A the conversation wasn’t going anywhere? It just kinda died, because there weren’t any openings for new topics, whereas in Example B, there were openings to keep the conversation going.
But what do you do if your conversation partner is as socially inept as you were two minutes ago and doesn't play along? All is not lost.
Example C
Y: Hello, so nice to meet you, how have you been doing?
T: I'm doing well.
Y: That's great, are you enjoying the nice weather, then?
T: Yeah. I'm glad it's finally fall, I'm looking forward to pumpkin spice lattes.
Y: I love pumpkin spice lattes! Pumpkin spice anything, really. I recently got the best pumpkin spice candle at the shop down the road, have you been there?
Even if they don't leave you an opening, you can usually make one. It may be difficult, especially when they don't give you much to work with. This is where having a go-to script is a life-saver--me, I always default to talking about the weather, so when in doubt, you can do that.* The important thing right now is to keep fostering the conversation, so once you bring up the weather, segue into a question. When they answer the question, make a brief comment or observation from your own experience and build off of that comment or observation to ask another question.
"But I don't want to make it about me. Doing that's bad, right?"
This is why that questions are important. If you haven't been asked a question, you kinda have to make it about you, you don't have a choice. But to keep from being an attention hog, follow up your shared experience or anecdote with another question.
Example D
T: I love pumpkin spice lattes
Y: Me too. I had the best pumpkin spice latte the other day at the cafe down the road, have you ever been there?
Now you've circled the conversation back around to them again, and you aren't taking the limelight. Sharing an experience is so important, you're trying to show that you understand, that you sympathize, that you relate.**
This really is the most important element of being a good conversationalist. You have to keep asking questions.
The one other thing I will touch on is introductions. DO NOT get into turn based combat.
Example E
Y: Hello
T: Hello
Y: Nice to meet you
T: Nice to meet you too.
Y: How are you doing?
T: I'm fine. You?
Y: Me too.
This will kill any possibility of continuing a conversation. Instead, get it all out of the way all at once, if at all possible.
Example F
Y: Hi, it's nice to meet you, how are you doing?
This is good, but this is better
Example G
Y: Hi, nice to meet you, how are you liking the weather?
Don't ask how they are doing, or if you do, before they can answer, follow it up with your placeholder (weather etc.) so they have to say some thing like
Example H
T: I'm fine, and I'm really liking the weather.
or
T: Not so great, the weather sucks.
Either of those options are much easier to work with than your basic "I'm fine."
Usually, if you can get past the introduction, you can get a conversation going. And then, even if you don't end up hitting it off with the person you're talking with, you at least don't leave the conversation feeling like you've died a thousand tiny deaths.
In fact, if you get past that introduction, you may have just made yourself a friend.
Remember folks, basically everyone around you is more afraid of you than you are of them, and in this benighted age no one has been taught conversation skills, so we are all pretty much in the same boat. (Unless you were born an extrovert, in which case we are all deeply envious and would probably kill you if we didn't need you in our sad and lonely lives so much.)
Have grace for one another, and for yourselves because talking with people is difficult.
Go forth, and stop killing conversations.
*If you are one of those awful people who likes to brag about how you hate small talk and only want to talk about important and meaningful things, I have one question: Do you ever have a conversation that lasts long enough to become meaningful? I thought not. Small talk is an important skill. Develop it.
**This is how you deal with sad or difficult situations too. When you want to show you sympathize with someone going through a hard time.
Example:
Y: How are you doing?
T: Not very well. My dog died last week.
Y: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. My own dog died last year and I still miss her a lot. How are you handling it?
Now you've circled the conversation back around to them again. You aren't making it about you.
If y'all want, next time I can share how to extricate yourself from a conversation.
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afyrian · 2 days
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line two - earbuds in and out m.list
    tapping your pen against the table, your lips part in surprise. the second line is filled with ramblings of a man who cheated on his partner, trying to get advice on how to convince his partner that it isn't a big deal. listening to him talk, you look over towards the sound booth, blinking rapidly towards sakusa. hoping to show him your want to break free from the conversation. however, he’s looking off into the distant. 
  "okay, line two, so you cheated.. that's a hard fact. and for a lot of people, it's also a dealbreaker," you start, spinning the end of the pen around on the old wooden table. before you can continue your 'advice', he starts talking again, trying to defend himself.
  the man breathes loudly into the mic, "yeah but it wasn't personal or anything. it was just a one night stand, which in a way isn't really cheating if you think about it. cheating is usually emotional, between two people who have residual feelings.”
  "dude cheating is cheating. if you even kiss someone romantically and your partner isn’t okay with it, it's cheating. it doesn't matter if it was personal or not. and i'm here to give you advice. if you don't want to hear advice you might not like to hear, then don't call in," you bite your lip, glancing back towards the sound booth, watching as sakusa finally looks up.
  his eyebrow is quirked, intrigued by the conversation at hand. turning back to your laptop, you stare at the music choices, hoping to find a song to play that gives you a moment away from the mic. "now, do you want advice, or should i answer line three?" your voice suddenly becomes firm, knuckles growing tense from holding the pen so tightly. 
  the line clicks, the caller likely hanging up in an attempt to flee from the situation. pursing your lips, you look over to sakusa again, noticing him clicking something on his setup. narrowing your eyes, you wonder if he was the one to end the call. "well listeners, guess that guy didn't want to talk it out today... how about we listen in to 'off she goes' by bad suns and relax before listening to line three's woes?"
  leaning back in your seat, you nod along as the song begins. taking off your headphones, you bring your hands up to your head, resting them above your hair. a part of you knows that a new cup of coffee could be nice, but really all you want to do is rest and sit back to the four free minutes you have. 
  very rarely have you had to tell a caller to back off, indirectly or directly. and yet every time you do, you can feel the energy drain from you. closing your eyes, you sit for a minute, memorizing the melody that plays effortlessly in your head. a minute passes as you start to grow anxious. sakusa hasn't said a word...
  peeking an eye open, you look towards the sound both, towards him. looking in his direction, you furrow your eyebrows. earbuds rest comfortably in his ears as he nods along to the song playing. you're used to the comfortable hum of your last sound engineer's talking. the way he would let you sit with your eyes closed, talking about whatever nonsense he could think of.
  now, everything's just so silent. once the music starts, it fizzles out, and all you need is a little bit of chatter. yet it's not there. fully opening your eyes, you sit up, restless. "how are you liking this position so far?" you ask, raising your voice enough that you hope he can hear.
  he looks up from his soundboard, pulling out an earbud, "what did you need?"
  "oh nothing- i was just letting you know we're starting soon," you nod, tapping anxiously against the wooden table, shrugging your shoulders.
  nodding, sakusa slowly inserts his earbud again, grabbing his phone to look at something. grimacing, you bring your head forward, resting it on the table. the wood is smooth, cool to the touch. the warm fan of the laptop being the only thing keeping you from getting goosebumps. breathing in slowly, you count for five seconds, breathing back out.
  it's the last technique you could think to use now that your support system is gone. feeling the jitters quietly leave your body, you finally sit back up. biting your lip and resting your headphones over your ears, you notice the thirty seconds left. "would you-" you start, wondering if you could get lunch with him after work sometime. 
  however, you can see him focusing on whatever is on his phone. sakusa's attention is grabbed, and instead of prying anymore, you shake your head. staring down the clock, you watch until it reaches one second left. "hello everyone, thank you for listening and hopefully loving one of my favorite songs. now, let's give it up for line three. what would you like to talk it out with me today?”
  leaning up towards the mic, you don’t notice the look resting on sakusa’s face. he’s smiling to himself, a smile that just barely graces his lips, listening to you introduce the next caller.
taglist (open): @eggyrocks @causenessus @applepi25 @softpia @bakery-anon
@jadeoru @yessimo @lale-txt @writing-for-the-hell-of-it @sugacor3
@quikhs @todorokiskitten @mollyrolls @honeyfewr @pookiebearcave
@phoenix-eclipses @madiexuberant
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anomaly-hivemind · 3 days
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Love at Frost Sight || Temperature Play w/ Kyojuro Rengoku x Ice Hashira Afab! Reader
Word Count: 604
Tags: Afab! reader, temperature play, groping,
Demon Slayer Masterlist, Kinktober 2023 Masterlist
Notes: AU where the slayers actually control the elements of their breathing style.
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You were meditating in your room, it was nice and secluded so people would have to go out of their way if they wanted to bother you. Which is what most people would do, mostly Rengoku Kyoujurou. He alway found time to come to your room with his bright smile and happy demeanor. Always with the need to share his happy attitude with you whenever he could.
A loud knock verberated through the door before his voice boomed. “Y/N how are you today?!”
“I’m alright Kyojuro,” You said as he came in and sat beside you. It was like he was your own personal fire, the heat practically radiated off him. You leaned over resting your head on his shoulder.
“Are you sure everything’s alright?” Rengoku asked.
“I’m fine, I'm just trying to enjoy your warmth.” You stay on his shoulder, wrapping your arm around his.”
“Well Dearest Y/N you are always welcome to share my warmth, especially with how cold you can be.” His loud voice spoke with the same happiness one could assume a dog would have.
“Do you mean that literally or emotionally?”
“Why literally of course” he turned slightly
“Although you could come off stand offish it may give people the idea you don't want them around” He added quickly.
“And How exactly do you think I should do that, be more like you?” you joked slightly but it may have come off a bit more harsher than intended.
“Maybe start with warming up a bit” He joked back with a laugh at his own joke and it made a small smile appear on your face that you quickly hid away.
“Help me with that will ya.” he turned to face you as if something had come to his mind and his smile got bigger, if that were even possible to do.
“I can definitely do that for you.” He said as he got a bit closer to you his overpowering warm body heat wrapping around you as he pulled you closer to him. Your cold skin felt nippy as he ran his hand up and down your waist.
His hot hand found its way in between your uniform top and you shiver. It was usually the other way around with you making people shiver from your cold aura. Yet this was a completely new thing for you and the fact that Rengoku was feeling up and groping your skin was pleasing and dare you say it arousing.
You don't like this shift in your power dynamic so you place a finger on his lap with a smirk. When he got ready to speak you created a cube of ice in his mouth; his eyes dropped slightly and he sucked on the ice. Melting the ice on his tongue until it was a small piece of it was left, before you could bring his tongue on your neck.
You shiver and put your hand on his chest, unbuttoning his shirt a bit too fast for it to be sexy. He sucked on your neck and rubbeing your nibble, mapping out your body with his radiating hand.
His hand traveled lower and slightly into your pants and Rengoku was kissing up your neck before pulling you into a nice warming kiss. His tongue collides with yours in a delicious feeling of hot and cold.
Before his hand could go any further a knock appeared on your door. You both pull away from each other and fix your clothes.
“Fucken hell,”
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Hidden Flames : Chapter 12
Word Count : 3.3k
Warnings : swearing, drinking, cheating but not really?, mentions of sex (very briefly), mentions of underwear (in a jokey way), drinking games, lots of making out, ANGST
A/N : Oooh boy this one was fun to write. Kayla and I had so much fun brainstorming this chapter so we both hope you enjoy reading it just as much! Special shout out to our Mae baby who also helped brainstorm this chapter! Much love
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            She didn’t know how she got here. How everything blew up so fast. How one second they were playing games and the next everything was seemingly crumbling around her. Stuck between her fake boyfriend and the man she loves. She can feel eyes on her, awaiting her next move, but she’s stuck.
            Parties weren’t Y/n’s thing. They never have been. They were more Mingi’s thing. Something he picked up in university with his new friends. Something he chose over her time and time again. While her and Yeosang stayed home, watching movies and eating an absurd amount of food. And she wished Mingi would choose her just once.
            So no, parties were not her thing. But when she tried to say no, she made the mistake of looking at Mingi’s face, and he just looked so happy, she couldn’t bring herself to say no to him. Forever her weakness : Song Mingi.
            He promised to keep it small. Invite only their friends. Hoping she’d be more comfortable if there wasn’t a house full of people. He told her Mae and Wooyoung could make anything a party, so even with a small amount of people, it’ll be fun.
            Mingi and Kayla set everything up, telling Y/n and Yeosang that everyone was coming to celebrate them, so they don’t need to lift a finger. So Y/n sat on the couch, glancing over to the kitchen where the pair were setting up food and alcohol. Whispering and giggling amongst each other. She hated that she couldn’t look away, no matter how badly her heart was hurting.
            “Focus on me.” Yeosang said, gently grabbing her face. “Look at me and no one else.” His voice was soft and comforting. It brought her a calmness she only felt with him. So she listened, her eyes tracing over every part of his face. His eyes that looked at her with adoration. His lips that spoke to her softly. His nose that he liked to press into her neck when they were cuddling, telling her she smells nice. His birthmark that she loves so much, tracing it with her fingers every chance she got.
            Yeosang glanced up to see Mingi and Kayla looking at them, both of them completely frozen as they watched. He smiled before pressing a soft kiss to Y/n’s forehead. Her eyes widened slightly at the sudden contact. And then she did something that Yeosang wasn’t expecting. She kissed him.
            Everyone was confused, sobering up quickly as everything blew up. No one knew if they should move or say anything. Mae, Wooyoung, Cassi, and Hongjoong just sat silently, exchanging confused looks, as they watched everything unfold. Mingi was staring at Y/n, Y/n was looking between Mingi and where Yeosang went. Kayla was watching to see if Y/n would follow Yeosang, but no one said anything.
            Yeosang was still walking on air by the time everyone had shown up, reliving the kiss over and over in his mind. He hadn’t stopped smiling since she kissed him. Barely leaving her side, one arm around her at all times. He noticed Mingi and Kayla staring at them more than usual, as if they couldn’t look away from the couple.
            “What do we say to playing a game?” Kayla spoke up with a smile. Everyone began to gather in the living room, listening to Kayla explain the rules. To Y/n, it just sounded like a drinking game version of the newlywed game. And by the way Kayla keeps staring at her, she wonders if it’s to try and catch her and Yeosang in a lie. She started to feel nervous, and Yeosang seemed to notice if him squeezing her hand was anything to go by. So she focused on that and decided to just trust Yeosang.
            “Everyone have a drink?” Mingi asked after all the rules were explained and everyone sat with their respective partner. “Oh kitten your cup is practically empty. Here let me get you refill.” Mingi reached for Y/n’s cup, but before he could grab it, Yeosang took it from her hands, staring Mingi right in the eyes.
            “I can get my girlfriend a refill.” Yeosang says, still not moving or looking away from Mingi. Tension filled the room as the two stared at each other. Everyone stayed silent and still, wondering what the fuck was going on. Until someone had had enough and stood up.
            “I’ll get her a refill.” Mae said, ripping the cup from Yeosang’s hands. “Men.” She said with a roll of her eyes before sauntering into the kitchen and mixing Y/n a drink. Both Mingi and Yeosang were pouting when she returned, but she really didn’t care. “Here you go baby.” Y/n thanked her.
            “Can we start the game now? I want to show all you fuckers that Mae and I are the superior couple.” Wooyoung said.
            “Oh please. You forget if you have underwear on immediately after getting dressed. You expect us to believe you remember anything about Mae?” Hongjoong teased. “Obviously Cassi and I are the superior couple. I mean, just look at us.” Cassi was sitting in his lap, one arm draped around him. Hongjoong pressed a kiss to her cheek, making her giggle.
            “Oh do you wanna go old man?” Wooyoung said, earning a playful slap from his girlfriend. “Ouch! Hey!”
            “I’m older than him you dipshit.”
            “Ah yes but look how gracefully you’ve aged bunny.” Wooyoung replied, caressing her cheek before tucking some of her hair behind her ear. “Like a fine wine you only bring out for special occasions.” Mae tried to hide her smile. “Haven’t aged a day since we met.” She rolled her eyes and mumbled suck up under her breath, but she couldn’t deny the blush dusting across her face.
            “Okay. Okay! We get it. You’re in love.” Kayla joked, throwing a chocolate at Wooyoung, who just picked it up and ate it. “If anyone were to be a superior couple, it would be the throuple that is the wifey trio. So be lucky we paired off with our men tonight.”
            “Damn right. You tell them, Kayla.” Cassi replied, blowing her and Mae a kiss.
            “The best trio to ever trio.” Mae added.
            “You know how we can figure out who the superior couple is? By playing the game.” Mingi spoke up, wrapping an arm around Kayla. “And I think we’ll all be surprised by the answer.” He added with a smirk, pressing a kiss to Kayla’s cheek, taking her by surprise, but she did her best to play it off. And Y/n tried to pretend it didn’t bother her seeing them together.
            “Okay. Everyone grab a notebook and marker from the table. Let’s get started!” Kayla announced, clapping her hands together, taking a quick glance at Yeosang, hoping to see him looking over at her and Mingi. But his attention was only on Y/n, and she was starting to wonder if she was wrong about their relationship being fake.
~
            They were well into the game, everyone getting drunker by the minute. The questions were getting progressively harder, and even the long term couples were struggling. Yet, Yeosang and Y/n have yet to get a question wrong. Mingi and Kayla were taken by surprise, wondering how they could pass with flying colours.
            Mingi was especially taken by surprise, wondering how Yeosang could know things about her that even he doesn’t know. He’s known her longer than Yeosang has. He grew up with her. All the things he learned about her past, Mingi has lived through with her. He’s known her longer, loved her longer, and yet it’s like he doesn’t know her at all.
            “Okay I think we all know who the superior couple is. We can stop.” Cassi said, looking over to Yeosang and Y/n, smiling to herself as she watched her best friend with her boyfriend. Happy to see her so happy, to see her with someone that makes her glow.
            “I would just like the record to show that bunny and I definitely came in second though.” Wooyoung spoke up. He wrapped his arms around Mae’s waist, pressing a quick kiss to her shoulder after pulling her into his lap. “I may not remember underwear 9 times out of 10, but I remember every single detail of my girlfriend.”
            “Yeah, you probably could have left out the underwear part. But the other part was cute.” Mae replied with a smile, giving her boyfriend a kiss. “Some of those questions were hard as fuck.” She added, turning back to the rest of the group.
            “The wifey trio still would have creamed all of you.” Cassi taunted.
            “I think we’d rather watch you cream a different way.” Hongjoong teased, earning a soft slap on the arm, but Cassi was giggling, so he knew she wasn’t actually upset at him.
            “Y/n and Yeosang, how the fuck do you know so much about each other when you two just started dating?” Mae asked.
            “Yeah Y/n and Yeosang. How do you know each other so well?” Kayla asked, crossing her arms across her chest, looking at them like she was accusing them of something. Mingi was sat next to her, going through the last half hour in his mind. Memorizing every answer Yeosang gave about Y/n, promising himself that he’ll never forget a single detail about her. No matter what.
            “Simple really. We’ve been friends for years.” Yeosang answered. “And we talk more than we have sex.” Mingi’s head snapped towards them when he said this. They’ve had sex? How did he not know? Then he remembered all the nights he was gone at a party. Or just out with Kayla. All the nights he left Yeosang and Y/n alone, thinking that nothing would happen between them, and now he’s lost her.
            It wasn’t supposed to be like this. This wasn’t how the night was supposed to go. Kayla and Mingi had everything planned, but Mingi saw his chance, and he took it. Against his better judgement. But Y/n was still standing in front of him, hesitating. Does that mean he still has a shot? “Y/n.” He spoke softly, and she looked up at him. He could see the tears welling up in her eyes, the confusion, the millions of questions. “I-“ but before he could finish his love confession, he was interrupted.
            “Let’s play a classic!” Mingi spoke up. It’s been almost an hour since the last game. Almost an hour since he realized that Kayla might have had Yeosang and Y/n all wrong. Almost an hour since the voices in his head wouldn’t shut up, telling him he’s lost her for good. “Spin the bottle.” He added, holding up an empty bottle.
            This wasn’t part of the original plan. They were hoping to catch them in their lie during the first game. Call them out for getting every question wrong, but they did the opposite. As if they were perfect for each other. Made for each other. Soulmates.
            This wasn’t part of the original plan, but Mingi was drunk and upset. And he needed an excuse to kiss Y/n. Prove to her that they were meant for each other, not her and Yeosang. Prove to her that they still had the spark they did in high school, that it grew into a flame. A hidden flame, because he was still scared to tell her he loved her, but a flame, nonetheless.          
            Everyone sat in a circle, the bottle in the center. It felt so high school, but everyone was so drunk that it didn’t matter. Mae took initiative and went first. It landed on Kayla, so she crawled across the circle towards her, crawled into her lap, and kissed her, her hands gently cupping Kayla’s face. “Goddamn why doesn’t she kiss me like that?” Wooyoung asked.
            “She does.” Cassi replied, slapping him on the arm.
            “Oh yeah.” Wooyoung replied with a giggle. Cassi rolled her eyes. Mae took her spot next to Wooyoung again after she was done making out with one of her girlfriends. Kayla took her turn, watching the bottle spin and spin, hoping it would land on Yeosang. It ended up landing on Wooyoung, so she crawled across the circle towards him and gave him a quick kiss.
            “Oh come on. I’ve watched him fuck you and now you’re shy?” Mae teased, so Kayla gave him another kiss, this time more intense. “Fuck. So much better!”
            The game continued like that for a while. Everyone taking turns. Only Y/n and Yeosang were giving quick kisses, while everyone else made out with whoever the bottle landed on. Somehow, the bottle had yet to land on Mingi. So everyone decided he should give it a spin so he could finally join in on the fun.
            He knew who he wanted it to land on. Watching the bottle so intensely it was as if he was trying to control it with his mind. And it worked. When it stopped, he looked into her eyes, a shy smile on his face trying to hide his excitement. She seemed nervous, but he didn’t hesitate in getting up, pulling her to her feet, and kissing her like he’d never see her again.
            She had promised Yeosang before the game that to keep up the ruse of their relationship, they would only give quick kisses, little pecks but nothing more. But she couldn’t help herself when it came to Mingi. Melting into the kiss quickly and wrapping her arms around his neck. And suddenly it was as if the entire world disappeared and all that was left was the two of them. Mingi and Y/n. Y/n and Mingi.  
            They shared a few kisses during their short lived relationship, but none like this. In high school, they were both so nervous, so awkward. It was all pecks and sloppy make outs. But this? This was full of passion, love, longing, need. All the feelings they’ve held back, they put into this kiss.
            Yeosang could feel his heart break a little at the sight and got up from the circle and stormed off. Only then did Y/n pull away from Mingi. “What did I just do?” She asked herself, turning to follow Yeosang, but Mingi grabbed her wrist, begging her to stay with his eyes.
            “I guess I’ll go check on your boyfriend since you’re so busy with mine.” Kayla said, storming off after Yeosang. Y/n opened her mouth to say something but nothing came out, turning again to follow, but Mingi stopped her again.
            “Please don’t go.” She looked up at him, then in the direction Yeosang and Kayla walked off in, back to Mingi, and then down to his hand still wrapped around her wrist. Gently, she removed his hand, but he grabbed her other wrist with his other hand. “Let me talk, Y/n. Please.”
            “We can talk later, Mingi. I have to fix things with Yeosang.” Mingi dropped his arm, allowing her to follow Yeosang. He realizes now he took too long to confess. She slipped through his fingers right in front of his eyes. He thought she’d always be there. That it would always be the two of them. But he sees now how wrong he was.
            “Why do you look like you just got rejected? It’s not like you’re in love with Y/n.” Wooyoung chuckled, clapping Mingi on the back, who just shot him a look. “Holy shit you’re in love with Y/n? Why didn’t you say something?” Mae pulled him away from Mingi, lightly smacking him on the arm, telling him to shut up.
~
            Yeosang was pacing in the backyard, trying to get the image of Mingi and Y/n out of his head. He should have known things would end up like this if they were to play spin the bottle. Should have known she would end up in Mingi’s arms.
            Their relationship was fake. Meant to make Mingi confess. He just hoped he had more time with her. To pretend everything was real, that she loved him and not Mingi. He knows he can’t make her fall in love with him, as much as he would love to do so, but when it’s just the two of them, he can pretend she does.
            He stopped pacing when he heard someone else come outside. He had hoped Y/n would follow him out, tell him she doesn’t love Mingi anymore. But this isn’t a movie. He’s not going to get the girl.
            “I’m so sorry, Yeosang.” Kayla said as she approached him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “I don’t know why she would do something like that when she has you.”
            “I know why. And I’m fine. I just needed a minute.” He replied, brushing her hand off his shoulder. “Thanks for coming to check up on me though.” He gave her a small smile.
            “Of course. Y/n was too busy with Mingi, so I figured I should come make sure you were okay.” What did she mean by that? Were they still making out? Or worse. Did they go upstairs? “Seems like she just can’t make up her mind.” Yeosang looked towards the house, wondering what happened after he left. Did his leaving give them the perfect opportunity to go further? “What’s going through that pretty little head of yours?” Yeosang looked towards Kayla before looking back at the house and started to head back inside, but Kayla stopped him. Grabbing him by the arm, turning him around, and kissing him before she could stop herself.
            Yeosang quickly pushed her off. “What are you doing?” He asked, but her eyes were looking behind him, and she had a small smirk on her face. Y/n was standing at the door of the backyard, frozen in spot. “Pretty girl I can explain.”
            “Please do.” Y/n took a couple steps closer, crossing her arms across her chest.
            “Kayla please give us some privacy.” Yeosang asked, his gaze not leaving Y/n. Kayla was shocked at how easily Y/n had him back wrapped around her finger. And she didn’t even appreciate it. Seemingly willing to leave the second Mingi showed a little bit of interest. Whereas Kayla would kill to be in her shoes and have Yeosang all to herself.
            “See how easily I can take what’s yours?” Kayla teased as she passed Y/n, bumping her shoulder as she walked by.
            “So just because our relationship is fake you think you can kiss whoever you want?” Y/n asked. Yeosang stepped closer to her, taking her hands in his.
            “She kissed me and I pushed her off, I swear.” Y/n didn’t say anything. “Besides you started it!”
            “It was part of the game, Yeosang!”
            “Looked a little passionate to be part of a game!” He threw his hands in the air before letting his arms fall back down to his sides.
            “You thought that was passionate? I’ll show you passionate!” She grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him in for a kiss. Yeosang was taken aback, but quickly returned the kiss, wrapping his arms around her waist, pulling her as close as he could. She wrapped her arms around his neck, getting more into the kiss. Loving the way his arms felt around her, melting at the way his lips felt against hers. Every time one of them pulled away, the other would pull them back, as if they couldn’t get enough of each other.
            And on the other side of the door stood two people feeling their hearts break all over again.  
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fujii-draws · 6 months
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OKAY! Chatot rant in tags below! Read at your own discretion.
#okay starting from the beginning of where ppl usually dislike him. apple woods chapter.#he doesn’t give hero/partner the CHANCE to explain themselves despite them being relatively good recruits up until that point.#and that legit might be my only gripe with that chapter bc!!! stories need conflict! I LIKE the conflict in apple woods!!!#hero and partner being punished so something they didn’t do!#the misunderstanding! how team skull (Skuntank) actually outplays the main duo with a clever yet rotten trick. I LOVE that it segways into-#one of the more sweeter scenes of guild members looking out for eachother. I LIKE APPLE WOODS CONFLICT.#but chatot just. not giving them a chance. is so dumb.#I’d personally fix this by having a lil montage of hero/partner fucking up on jobs. A LOT. and chatot giving them a pass every time.#and let the perfect apple incident BE the one where he puts his foot down and doesn’t listen to them. bc he’d given them loads of chances.#and doesn’t want to hear any excuse.#but yeah. I legit dont mind him during that chapter except for that really stupid and frustrating moment.#NOW. CHAPTER 17.#UGGGGHHH WHERE DO I BEGIN#Him not believing hero and Partner about Grovyle and the future being in ruin? FINE. ACTUALLY GOOD. BC CHATOT WOULD BE SKEPTIC.#IT FITS HIS CHARACTER!!#BUT WHAT DOES SUCK. IS HIM GOING ‘Dusknoir isn’t the bad guy. he didn’t do anything wrong’#WHEN HE LITERALLY KIDNAPPED HERO AND PARTNER RIGHT I N F R O N T OF HIM.#(​NO LITERALLY. HIS CHARACTER IS IN THE FRONT ROW WHEN IT HAPPENED.)#and him. having the GALL to tell hero and partner they must’ve been ‘seeing things’ and downplaying the HELL they went through.#despite them being missing for hours/days. his own guild recruits. and his angry sprite showing up.#like. I think that’s when I genuinely despised him.#that and him going ‘OH I BELIEVED YOU THE WHOLE TIME HEEHOO :)’ shit was so fucking annoying.#just playing it off as a joke the second the guild started to believe hero and partner.#IMAGINE IF HE W A S ACTUALLY TESTING THE GUILD’S TRUST. SHOWCASING HIM AS THE MORE RESPONSIBLE AND RESPECTFUL RIGHT HAND OF THE GUILD.#and yes. Brine cave he saves hero and partner. but at that point I just didn’t care anymore.#he fucked those two over so much. that I didn’t care what ‘valiant’ sacrifice he had.#and he grills Team Skull for what they did OFF SCREEN. they couldn’t even give us THAT.#<<< THAT or him outright saying sorry would’ve been nice. IKIK his ‘actions’ or whatever but.#eughh again this is all imo. I’m not trying to make people hate him or change their mind.#I’ll get into positives in the second post cause I’m running out of tags
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really wish my one friend would quit flirting with me. and trying to goad me into hanging out more. and assigning us fictional characters that are oh-so-coincidently either couples or with romantic tension. and then interrupting our gameplay to ask me repeatedly if I think they’re “like us” (which they rarely are…). and matching my icon on discord without asking (again, usually by insinuating a couple connection). and giving me random things I do not want and did not ask to receive (and then forcing me to take them???).
#storyrambles#it’s not creepy. just for context. it’s just irritating because I’ve told this person repeatedly that I’m not interested in romance.#this person is also naturally a huge romantic so it is next to impossible to tell whether it’s actual flirtation or just flirting for fun#flirting for fun is cool. I wouldn’t mind that. but if I do it once this person will take that as an invitation to do it an excessive amoun#but yeah after being given 12 roses out of the blue when I said ‘no don’t buy me flowers’. there’s only so many things that can mean#‘it’s nice to see your face you always cover it!’ …I’m masking. because of covid#I’m narrating a game and suddenly ‘I like hearing your voice I should call you every day so I can hear it for 10 minutes’. …no.#‘you have to take the snack I brought you know it’s rude to refuse a gift’ I have never refused a gift. It is rude. But also I didn’t ask.#‘you know this game is one you can play without talking so we can play more often!’ we already play games once a week for usually 3 hours.#‘but it’s not talking so it’s less social energy’ no. that is not how it works.#sorry for the rant im just. tired.#you know those people who are so pleasant to hang out with and then they try way too hard#and that’s actually what makes things awkward? rather than when they’re just being themselves?#yeah. that’s this friend here.#usually I go along with the bit but when I can never tell when the bit is actually a bit#and you insist on me taking on the ‘girl role’ for most of them#I am not going to play along.#UGH don’t get me started on the ‘you’re cute when you’re flustered’#I wasn’t even flustered. I was trying to do mental math while running on four hours of sleep and he was staring directly at me#it’s uncomfortable.#also. I never want to hear that again. fuck. ‘you’re cute when you’re angry’ ‘you’re cute when you’re upset’ ALL THE FUCKING TIME AS A KID#will I be so cute after I kick you in the nuts? will I?#(for clarity I don’t want to kick him. I want to kick those other people.)#I need a lot of alone time. I really do. I can do 3 hours and then I will be drained for the rest of the day.#‘how did you grow up? did you not talk to your mom for more than 3 hours a day?’#first of all. that’s different?#secondly we actually regularly do separate things without talking to each other. or go in separate rooms to take some time to ourselves#also I don’t have to be on high alert for if I’m going to be flirted with. so.#ugh. I like him as a friend. I really do. I know this all makes it seem like the opposite. I try so hard to be as nice as possible.#but UGHHHHHH
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Of my 2% capacity to be attracted to anyone, my type is like 90% women, 5% pretty men and 5% men you would swear are super fucking manly, and never questioned being straight and cis, but are now suddenly *stressed* that they can't figure out why their attraction to me [fully socially interpreted as a woman and labelled that way up until relatively recently] feels incredibly fucking gay
#you are a straight man correct? Yes. Attracted to someone you view as a woman correct? Yes... But you are afraid that makes you gay?#Afraid is a strong word but also stop asking stupid questions#The end result is I tend to date a lot of men who either then realize they are women or bi or gay and I am there when they are taking out#the messiest parts of that on whoever they are with at the time#and on one hand it means I created a space that made them feel safe enough to self examine#but on the other hand I'm their last stop when the fallout hits#OR they just realize they find the expectations put on them for masculinity to be really oppressive even negligent or abusive#I would say I need to adjust my strategy and stop trying to 'woo' men the same way I don't actually -flirt- with women#but I have already solved this problem by refusing to date ever again#The retrospective is funny though#The problem is I am attracted to men in a gay way and to women in a gay way but no one tells you the consequence of that and looking#like a pretty butch is that it really confuses the straight guys#Like why is this guy who's usually hmmm... as dom and masc as you would imagine suddenly in my lap and red and having entire feelings#about the way I am holding his hip? He doesn't knoww either and he's really pressed about it#And that thing messy lesbians do where they act jealous of you and also like they want to fuck you at the same time that looks like a red#flag from hell? Imagine dragging that out of unsuspecting straight guys -menTM-#They don't know why they are acting like that around me either but it's going to go one of two ways#either it will seem overtly threatening and aggressive to everyone involved including themselves or they'll have enough social sense#and tact to be playful about it but still not be sure if they are flirting or whether they like me at all#I have patience for one of those and unfortunately[?] it's the guy who's in my lap looks like he's being tortured and can't find his footin#not the guy telling me how much he's going to beat my ass at some game and I am going to like it or some macho bullshit#And I will be oblivious for the first 50% of it#because if there are gods they are cruel#He never realized he's actually the little spoon be nice and give him a minute#He can't tell me he likes me if he doesn't know he likes me but I opened a jar for him and asked him about his feelings and now he's warm#I actually ended up never dating many women at all because of weird lesbian mixed signals and things#At least not while they were women#I don't flirt or make friends I just decide that people are mine and start taking care of them [while respecting their autonomy and shit]#and I am starting to think this is how I make problems for myself#yes I am playing 5-d chess with gender and am now a he/they but it is not what it is cracked up to be
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simelune · 1 year
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i miss playing mmorpgs like ffxiv :| but no money + no friends playing them rn, it is what it is
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gregmarriage · 2 months
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truly the thing i’ve realised with my writing is that i truly don’t give a shit, and by that i mean, i love writing so much, and all of my worries about mean comments or ppl not liking my stuff are usually unfounded, and i don’t wanna stop writing, just because of that, either way. like, that’s a you problem, not a me problem, babe x
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toastsnaffler · 4 months
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ahh.. I have tickets for a small music festival tmr which I went to last year + had a whale of a time but this year theres only like 2 artists I wanted to see but they released the schedule a couple days ago and neither are playing before 9:30pm. since I don't live local anymore I'd have to leave to travel back home around that time or I'd miss the last train... and there's not rly anywhere I can crash overnight there (and I was planning on going alone anyway like I did last year). so I think im gonna have to let this one pass me by :-(
#its not the end of the world like theyre not artists i LOVE love just ones i know and like a few tracks of#last year i had so much fun bc one of the artists there was an all time fave of mine. but yeah im not missing out on that this year#but its still a shame. i miss living there and being able to walk to gigs to easily like the music scene was so up my street!!#and i was kind of looking forward to it. but i shouldve planned it further in advance if i was serious abt going#i just didnt think theyd BOTH play so late???? i swear they had an earlier schedule last year#i guess i could just go and mill around some of the shows earlier in the day even tho ive skimmed most of them on spotify and theyre-#not rly my thing. sigh#im v tired + starting to feel quite sad this evening for some specific reasons i dont really want to think much about bc it is what it is#so its hard to imagine going out and having fun tomorrow. maybe ill just aim to get my chores done instead and see how i feel after that#i might fix my bike up and check the other local climbing gym out bc i havent visited that one before and itd be nice to mix it up#and i need to go out on the bike at some point this weekend so i dont build up anxiety abt it after yesterdays crash. hmm#man. its hard trying to do things solely for my own enjoyment sometimes. im usually pretty ok at making myself do it#and im grateful that i am! but i think im just feeling quite lonely. and not in a way where being around other people rly helps#like its more of a core thing. i feel kind of unseen by people in my life at the moment and that makes me feel like im not quite real#and i dont really know what to do about that. i think its why im still on my discord hiatus i just dont really have anything to say rn#ive felt this intermittently throughout a lot my life i think. but most of the time i can distract myself from it enough not to notice it#and i put the effort in socially regardless + usually when im in the moment it doesnt matter. but the stretches inbetween those moments..#its not unbearable and i dont feel that depressed at the moment either. just a bit lost i guess. i know itll pass eventually#but yeah it just keeps nudging up against me bc im feeling every little misunderstanding and slight quite keenly atm#ahh.. well its okay. ive never really needed much anyway im good at taking care of myself and thats enough to get by#ill do something nice for myself this weekend one way or another. im gonna go take a long shower rn i think and then read a bit#ah and i said i didn't rly want to think about it! but i guess i did... well i feel like i exist a little more for typing it out anyway#okay yes shower time now :-)#.diaries#maybe someday ill have ppl in my everyday life who i do feel seen + safe around. a girl can dream.. i have a lot of work to do before then
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