#where i instantly fell for the tall nerd character

[tallbluelady]

Which card would they be from the major arcana of tarot cards? (If you're more well read in tarot, you could also do minor arcana.)

Shit, I should have expected this one to pop up XD.

Okay, so what I mostly gleaned from my adventure in Wikipedia was that Urianger IS the Hermit.  I feel like the most applicable to Rowan is the Fool because it's the wanderer etc etc. A cool detail is that the Fool often has feathers in his hair! Which just... huh. Sometimes these things collide. It's like fate or something XD

Thanks for the ask!

[i-creatied-au]

Biker AU (all humans) in which the Spider Queen adopted MK and is his third guardian, like Pigsy and Tang.

(In any case, English is not my first language, so I apologize for the silly mistakes in the text)

------

"Here's your order! Thank you for ordering at "Pigsy's Noodle"! Have a good day!"

A teenage boy in an orange jacket and a red bandage holding his hair handed the last order in his bag and walked down the front porch of the customer's house. Only when he heard the door close behind him, he exhaled and squeezed his stomach with his hands.

Pigsy, his adoptive father, always gave him a hearty breakfast and tried to make sure that the teenager dined, but sometimes there were so many orders that he himself might not have time to eat. So today MK ran away with orders, forgetting to grab his lunch box with a small snack, for which now his stomach was punishing him with loud rumblings and pains.

The boy exhaled through his teeth and, squeezing his stomach with one hand, went back to his father's restaurant.

Probably Tang has already returned from university and they can all have lunch together. Carried away by bright thoughts about delicious food and funny conversations, he did not notice how the rustle of wheels on the asphalt and the roar of engines were heard from behind.

"Hey, baby monkey!"

MK slowly turned around, perfectly recognizing this mocking voice. Behind him, on bikes, were two men, both of whom had dark skin and jackets with the same emblem on their backs. The emblem of the Spider Gang, a small biker club whose influence nevertheless spread throughout the city.

"Hi, Huntsman. Goliath". - the boy took turns nodding to the men, calling their nicknames. Hunter, a middle-aged man with a braid of gray hair and shaved temples, chuckled and turned to retrieve something from his bike bag.

“You are damn polite. Did you learn from one of the dads?" - the man laughed hoarsely, forcing MK to squeeze his head into his shoulders, and Goliath, a tall and broad-shouldered man from behind, shake his head.

"Huntsman, give the boy the package and let's go to Syntax".

"Fuck that nerd ... '' - the biker grumbled with a displeased face, which made the teenager for a second think that the two had a falling out. This would not have come as a surprise, given that "character clashes" occur almost every other day, but this time Huntsman looked more ... tense.

"I hope nothing super-serious has happened ..." - thought the boy excitedly. - "The last time they fought, they broke the counter and the window in the Spider Queen's store ... She was furious ..."

"Anyway!" - Huntsman turned to MK again in a loud voice, attracting the boy's attention and pulling him out of his thoughts. When the child looked up, he realized that he was being handed a bag and, judging by the smell, a bag with food. - “The queen asked me to give it to you.

"Oh, thanks..." - he thanked a little surprised, taking the package and looking inside. In a small transparent container with sections, he could make out fried noodles with vegetables and pieces of meat. Nearby lay three rolls, and in the third section the Queen put some of his favorite sweets. MK could not help smiling.

This woman, who at first terribly frightened him, eventually began to take care of him, even became his third guardian. Of course, this was unexpected and Pigsy argued with her for a long time, but in the end they decided to give the choice to MK, yet this important decision concerned him directly. After a little thought, he nevertheless agreed. The queen saved his life, nearly sacrificing hers, when the White Bone mercenaries tried to capture him. After they fled from the mercenaries, MK began to visit the woman in the hospital, and there he met her gang. They all looked like rebels and bandits, but deep down they cared for each other and treated like family.

And here he is. MK. Became part of the family of the Spider Gang. Sits on Goliath's bike and eats his lunch prepared by his adoptive mother (he still can't address the Queen like that, but he tries). Huntsman sits on his vehicle and smokes a cigarette, from the smell of which MK periodically wrinkles his nose. Finally Goliath breaks down and turns to a friend:

"Stop smoking. You know SHE will be unhappy when she finds out that you smoked next to the child." - the teenager wanted to clarify that he was no longer a child, but then he remembered that from the height of Goliath, almost everyone looked like children.

"And who said that she would know? You won't tell her anything, MK?" - the man winked at the guy and he shook his head negatively, as his mouth was busy with the second roll. - "See?" - Hunter turned to his friend again. - "Everything is okay..."

He broke off when he noticed another bike with two riders turned in their direction from the intersection. The gray-haired man, barely noticing them, threw the cigarette as far as he could and got into his most relaxed position. MK, finishing his rolls, watched the bike stop and first Syntax, and then the Queen of "Spiders" came down from it.

Although the teenager liked boys, even he could appreciate that the tall woman was beautiful. Dark skin, black hair below the shoulders, bright green eyes with sharp arrows and figure-hugging clothes in black and purple tones. The Queen took off her helmet (which MK had painted) and glanced at her foster child's empty plate.

"Well, how do you like the food?" - she asked in a patronizing tone from which MK would have wanted to hide before, but not now. Now he could make out the notes of excitement and concern in this voice, so he answered with a smile.

"Yes, I liked it very much! Especially the rolls." - judging by the warm smile, the woman was pleased with the answer and came closer to ruffle the teenager's hair.

"Okay, then finish your meal and I'll take you to your fathers."

MK nodded and, having finished with lunch, packed everything back into a bag so that he could wash it later and return it to mother clean. He gave each member of the gang a piece of candy (although it seemed only Goliath was really happy to receive the treat, while Syntax and the Huntsman thanked him dryly and hid the candy in their pockets). The queen put a helmet on the teenager and, making sure that he was tight on his head, got behind the wheel.

"Ahem, Queen, if MK is going with you, then where should I sit?" - Syntax, a pale man with glasses with green hair, asked cautiously.

"Ride with the Huntsman." - when the men exchanged displeased glances, the woman raised an eyebrow. - "I do not see this as a problem. You hug each other every day anyway ..." - Goliath and MK laughed at her trick in the direction of the couple, who were now both hiding their eyes, hoping that no one would notice their blush.

When everyone was finally seated, the gang drove out and headed to the restaurant of MK's father, Pigsy. When the bike stopped, MK got down and, taking off his helmet, took the package from his mother.

"Thanks for the food, Queen. Thanks for coming, Huntsman and Goliath." - he waved goodbye to everyone and was already approaching the door of the restaurant when the Queen shouted after him.

"Do not forget that tomorrow you are spending time at my house! Oh, and take that movie you wanted to show me."

"Sure! Bye, mom!" - shouted the teenager in response and disappeared behind the doors of the restaurant.

It took the Queen a few seconds to recover from what she had heard, and when she woke up, she realized that the Huntsman and Syntax were giggling behind her. The woman gave them such a glance that both instantly fell silent, and Syntax tried to hide behind the back of the biker. They made their way home in silence.

[dreifragememes]

Pls canon authors hear me out & give me some powerful female representation 🥺 suggestions:

Monique Carrera. She's a badass tall trans karate champ and cat lady who quit her office job to be an artist and whose first single "Devil Dancer" instantly made it to the top of the charts. Oh, and besides, she helped to defeat a man who kidnapped and caged small children AS WELL AS two fraudsters who did not shy away from attempting to *murder* the Three Investigators.

Aunt Mathilda. It's not that she does not get any representation - it's the HOW. We get it, her cherry pie is the best and that's amazing. But that is by far the least impressive fact about that woman. She raised her orphaned nephew while running a business with her husband. One time, she faked the voice of a dead woman (a friend of hers!) to help the Three Investigators with a case. Oh and she once successfully pretended to be psychic and delivered one hell of a performance to a bunch of rich widows. Think again where Justus got his acting skills from. Pure talent? I THINK NOT. We already know that Mathilda Jonas is capable of way more than just being the worried maternal figure whose most important tasks include a) baking cherry pie or b) giving our male main characters some chores to distract them from their dangerous hobby.

Also, can we get more of Caroline Cotta? I bet she could contribute more than just caring about her brother. Apperently, worried female relatives are a pattern. Caroline has a good connection to both Justus, Peter, Bob and her brother, so she could mediate more often when things get weird between them (which happens on a regular basis). But what about her job? What does she do? Is she a barista, a paramedic, a politician? Is she a good athlete? Does she help out at the animal shelter in her spare time, where she found Bubbles one day - an old shy cat who nobody wanted to adopt, but she instantly fell in love with? Why do Cotta and her live together, what is their family backstory? GIVE US MORE INFO ABOUT HER OK?

Brittany. This one might be a little controversial, I just appreciate her ambiguous role. Don't get me wrong: What she did to Justus is utterly f*cked up! But I like how clever and independent she is from male characters. Even if she does the dirty work for Hugenay, she follows her own agenda most of the time. Along the way, she manages to outsmart both our three young master detectives AND the notorious master thief himself. Now if that does not qualify her for more exposure, I give up.

Jelena ofc. This one is not even controversial, since she is already portrayed as the ultimate female counterpart to Justus. Just give us more Jelena content!? This quick-witted, beautiful BOSS lady not only plays the violin like a pro, she is also a chemistry nerd who invents her own substances for cryptography. (I'm a little obsessed with her). Time and again, she proves herself equally if not more capable than her able-bodied companions and opponents. Despite her little rivalry with the boys, she is a fiercely loyal friend who regularly bails them out of trouble.

Guys, I KNOW you are able to create well-rounded female characters (Clarissa Franklin, Allie Jamison, and even characters with one-time appearances like Mrs. Holligan, Madeleine Bainbridge, a lot of women in those widely hated BJHW's episodes, Maria Svensson, and even Lys and Kelly sometimes). Just give them more exposure and/or make them less dependent from male characters. So for the next sports episode (which will inevitably come, I am afraid), consider an all-female Basketball team or a paralympic swimming champion. Make the next art theft about a female artist (I know that already exists - you can do it more than once, even with a Black woman, I promise ;)). For the next guest appearance, think about the badass female characters that we already know, instead of creating another one day wonder who just serves as a plot device.

Girls and women are so much more than just mothers, aunties, girlfriends, or interchangeable plot devices. They can be saviors, villains, heroes, athletes, nerds, thieves, witches, bosses, frauds, actors, COPS (duh)... They can be smart, kind, snarky, evil, ambiguous, mysterious,... They can be anything you can imagine, really. Oh and while I'm at it, LGBTQIA and BIPOC folks can be that, too, of course. If you just let them!

[just-some-random-blogger]

Lollipunch

NCT Jaehyun x Reader + Johnny x Reader Characters: olderbrother!Lee Taeyong, Jung Jaehyun, Johnny Seo, Nakamoto Yuta Summary:  Taeyong, who was the coolest, baddest boy in school, happened to be your psychotically protective older brother. He instantly hates on whoever even remotely shows interest in you, and ends up loathing the flowery nerd Jaehyun for sneaking sappy poetry into your locker. Warnings: Honestly no plot, angst-ish?, punching, degrading, hot-headedness, slightly graphic, etc. Words: 1k+

A/N: baby this is an au ok. we all know taeyong is the fluffiest child of the world soOO yeah

Taeyong popped a large-ish cherry lollipop in his mouth and twitched his nose as he stormed off to his target.

“Ya, Jung Jaehyun!” he screamed, causing you who was minding your own business, fixing your things in your locker, to whip your head in the direction of the idiotically enraged man.

You knit your brows deeply as he made his way over to you.

With his flame red hair, black leather jacket, skinny jeans, and rough walk, it was unmistakable that this gangster was looking for trouble, even with the stick of candy sticking out of his lips.

There were some still wholly confused as to how you two were related, with how contrasting you looked against him in your peach dress and fruity perfume. And even you question it sometimes, but quickly push it away because you knew deep down, Taeyong was simply a soft boy that loved cuddles.

But it wasn’t one of those days for him.

Today, he looked like he was looking for blood.

“Yaaa,” you drag out as your older brother made his way over, “why are you being mean to Jaehyun when he isn’t even here—“ but alas, Taeyong seemingly missed you, his eyes focused on someone farther. And suddenly, it wasn’t too much of a surprise to find out that he was going for something—someone—directly behind you.

Then there was a loud clash against the lockers.

You jolted back in surprise, gasping. With your hand clutched on your chest, you turned around and saw no other than a glasses clad Jung Jaehyun pinned against metal by his shoulders with Taeyong staring him down, absolutely furious.

“YA!” the assaulter erupted, making you cover your ears in panic.

You dashed forward and tried to separate them, but Taeyong didn’t budge a bit off of Jaehyun.

“I told you to stop leaving your sobby love notes, and arts and crafts projects around my sister, loser.” Taeyong growled, tightening his grip on Jaehyun’s clothes. “She wants nothing to do with you, or your four eyes.”

You let out a breath in frustration, “Taeyong! Taeyong that’s enough!”

“And another thing: stop creeping around her, or I'll beat you up better than Sugar Ray.”

You whined and once again tried to peel off your brother away from the poor, bluing Jaehyun. “Taeyong…” you released like a threat, but to the said person's ears it was simply irritating.

He growled and tuned to you. “STAY OUT OF THIS!” he shouted, shoving you away, unintentially sending you falling back on your tailbone.

You made a pained sound and simultaneously two different voices called for you. One was Jaehyun, and the other, you knew to be Johnny, who currently running down the hall towards this hurricane.

Johnny hated it when his best friend, Taeyong, got his sister, you, involved in his muck. Johnny tried to get you to stay out of it as much as he could. He hated seeing you get hurt; it angered him.

Taeyong turned to you, stunned, “Are you okay?”

And unexpectedly, Jaehyun pushed his captor off and yelled, “How could you hurt your own sister?” all before throwing a right hook to the other guy’s nose.

Tayong gripped his face and went flying back. Though admittedly, he didn’t think the scum Jung Jaehyun had it in him to fight back, with how used he was with fist fights, he quickly regained composure, and quickly retaliated.

“YOU BASTARD!” Taeyong shouted, throwing a solid punch to Jaehyun’s cheek, before ramming into him and punching him onto the ground.

It was at this point Johnny came and helped your stunned, screaming self up from the floor. You screamed at your brother to stop, but it fell empty to his ears.

 “JOHNNY DO SOMETHING!” you cried and turned to the said man. Johnny was a good guy and a good friend, and he wasn’t particularly scared of Taeyong, but that wasn’t the reason why he hesitated for a moment. He hesitated because there was a bitter taste in his throat, because you thought Jaehyun was actually cute no matter how unpopular he was.

Neither did Johnny fuss about popularity really, but he honestly couldn’t fathom what you saw in this awkward chump… when there was him.

Eventually though, as Johnny was a good person, he had taeyong off of a badly bruised ad bloody nosed Jaehyun in a matter of seconds. Did I mention Johnny was extremely tall?

You ran to him Jaehyun as Taeyong was being pacified by his best friend. You hear your brother try to tell you off, but you ignored him like he did you. You lifted Jaehyun’s head and used your shaky hand to wipe off the red on him with your baby blue hankie.

You boiled in anger and your tears welled up. You whipped your head to your brother and shouted with a broken voice “ARE YOU PSYCHO?”

“Get away from him!” Taeyong barked, trying to get away from Johnny.

“You could’ve killed him, moron!”

“That’ll teach him to stay away from you, teach everyone who dares come near you with goo-goo eyes!”

“He barely even talked to me, Taeyong!”

Taeyong scoffed, “He’s a lunatic!”

“Oh, and beating him up proves you aren’t?!” you fumed. With a digusted scoff, you turned away from your brother, “That’s enough. Take him away from here, Johnny.”

Your heart broke at the sight of the flinching man on the floor. You looked at the crowd around you and scoffed once more, “SOMEONE CALL A NURSE! RED CROSS! AN AMBULANCE! ANYTHING!”

 Taeyong fought off Johnny, “Fucking, dumbass! I’m not leaving my sister with that garbage!”

You huffed and turned to Johnny who looked at you with soft eyes. You urged him by calling his voice, but Johnny didn’t move your brother away at all.  

“I think you should leave too,” Johnny spoke, eyeing the man on the floor.

“You dogs,” you speak lowly, “I can’t just leave him here.”

 “Well, actually,” a voice called and emerged a guy named Yuta. “You can now. You shouldn’t be here,” he added, looking down his best friend, gripping the handle of his first aid kit in hand.

Tayeong laughed dryly at the sight of Yuta, “What a fucking nerd.”

 “Yuta,” I say with a soft voice

He sighs and turns to me, “I’d say it’s not your fault, but… you’ve done enough here.” Yuta then crouched down and started tending to his friend. At this point a couple of students in the Red Cross started piling around us.

“Lets go!” Taeyong shouted. He snored and spat out blood to his side. You stood up from where you sat and walked off with Taeyong and Johnny. Your eyes were fixated however on the battered man surely unconscious on the floor.

[lazydoodlesandfanfic]

Pulling Pranks (Clint Barton X Fem!Reader) *PLATONIC

Characters: Clint Barton X Fem!Reader

Universe: Marvel, Avengers

Warnings: None

Request: How about a HawkeyeXReader Oneshot where Reader is a Computer nerd/hacker who was brought in by Tony (plays after Avengers) and Clint instantly wants to be friends with her after she hacks JARVIS and activates the sprinkler system which results in Fury getting soaked? And he blames Tony who blames Reader but she's been rescued and hidden by Clint.

The child following Tony around the tower all day had been everything but subtle, especially for Clint Barton. With his parental tendencies, and high level which mean he often trained new recruits, he couldn’t help seeing you a lot younger than you probably were. Nat had already told him no, but when did he ever listen? He was gonna go befriend the kid and find out why she was following Tony of all people around like a lost puppy.

He finally got to speak with you alone when Tony left you with a computer as he rushed off, needing to do something. However, Clint heard Tony as he left, warning you not to cause trouble, or to ‘at least cover your tracks’. That instantly told Clint something. You were good fun.

“Hey kid.” Clint greeted, catching your attention. You looked up, your eyes lighting up at the sight of another Avenger as Clint pulled a seat over and sat down next to you, wheeling closer. “So, what’s Stark got you here for?” He inquired.

“I made a bet with him.” You told him with a smug tone, but also with enticement that Clint fell right into.

“A bet for what, exactly?”

“I was messing with his stuff because I was bored so he made contact and we made a deal that if I could break his entire security system in less than a day, he’d have to hire me as a hacker.” You explained proudly, and Clint couldn’t help the snort that came from him, as your presence in the building told him the rest of the story.

“How’d you break it?” He asked, looking at the screen, seeing you were hacking into the cameras around the building, being nosy, and seeing you zoom in on one. One of the meeting room where Tony was seemingly arguing with Fury.

“I put emoji’s in the coding and the extra work of trying to process them broke the entire system in record time… will you snitch on me?” You asked, glancing at him. Clint gave a wink of assurance, also intrigued about what you were planning to do. “Hold on.” You asked, clicking on some other stuff, going into radio frequencies, and seeing Maria’s radio turn on, and soon the sound came through.

“-She’s smart.”

“She’s a kid, we don’t hire kids for SHIELD.”

“She’s a genius. We can either nurture this skill or help her use it for good, or not and have her possibly go down a bad path. Might as well make her an ally rather than a possible future enemy.” Tony insisted, and the conversation as clearly about you. You turned to Clint.

“What are your thoughts on me?” You asked. Clint smirked.

“If you’re willing to help me pull pranks, I’m more than willing to cover whatever mischief you want to pull.” He assured. You grinned, turning back to the screen.

“Okay, better start putting that in action then.” You warned, typing away.

“What exactly does that-“ Clint paused as the plumbing system to the sprinklers in the room became highlighted. “Oh my-“ He watched as you clicked one, turning it on, and water began sprinkling into the room… right onto Fury. There was a second of nothing, as Fury became soaked, before Fury took a breath in. “Oh he’s pissed.”

Tony was soon storming into the room. “Y/N, I Fury wants to speak with you… Clint?” Tony paused in his track, seeing Clint sat at the desk where he’d left you, his legs on the desk, no kid or computer in sight.

“Hey Tony… who you looking for?” Clint asked, playing innocent.

“Um… a kid, about this tall, hair about this long, she’s called Y/N. She hacked the sprinklers and set it off on Fury. He’s pissed at me already and is blaming me, and now I’ve got to try and redeem her to him… have you seen her?” Tony asked. Clint shrugged.

“No, but she sounds awesome. I’ll vouch for her.” Clint said. Tony huffed, leaving the room, calling your name. When he was distant, Clint got up, climbing on the desk, undoing the vent, being greeted by your grinning face, you both giggling, knowing that you were going to use your new position to both of your benefits and fun.

Hope you like it! If you have any questions, please send them in! 

*Not my gif

TAGS: @imbuckypositive @ari-maximoff @abbybills22 @waywardemo @httpmcrvel @mutantjediavenger @theoraekensnotsosecretlover @courtneychicken  @graysonmalfoy @bellero @captain-peanut-at-your-service @likiyoshi-lijie @aesthetjic @originalpottervengerlock @supernatural-pan @esoltis280 @lena-stan-xavier @lady-of-lies @sebstanismylife 

[lycorogue]

Who Wants to Meet My OCs? (Part 2 - Gyateara)

First and foremost, I meant to have this whole series to be sort of churned out the same day/week as Part 1. Life.... didn’t let that happen. I then figured “okay, I’ll update the series every Sunday” and then yesterday came and went...

Regardless, from the NEXT POST onward, I’m aiming to update every Sunday. Now, back to the series itself.

Ever since at least November, I’ve wanted to do individual posts for each of my OCs so you could meet them all. Well, I’m finally getting off my butt and working on this massive project (we’ll ignore that I’m spending hours working on this instead of my ML fanfic.... >_>).

In Part 1, I gave a broad overview of this whole Meet My OCs series, as well as gave some generic IRL background to the two main worlds my OCs hail from:

1) Gyateara

2) Glitches

Well, in this part of the series, I’m going to stay IRL as I explain where each individual OC within the Gyateara universe came from. If this is interesting to you, feel free to check below the break.

If you’d rather just skip ahead to the character bios themselves, my first one about my Glitches character Willow should be up in two weeks (sorry for the wait).

If I’m talking about Gyateara characters, I should probably talk about the one that first birthed the world: 

Amara Yori

Amara was my first-ever D&D character. I had known of the game for ages since my father used to play it frequently (and apparently roped my mother into at least running the monsters so she’d be included; ignoring that she’d rather not be included XD). 

I really got interested in D&D when I was a teen and saw the gorgeously stylized covers for AD&D ver 3.5. My father had passed away before officially introducing me to the game (although we did used to play Dungeon all the time, so that was a start...), and none of my friends were going to touch that “nerd culture” with a 10ft pole, so I simply admired the books, but never actually played. Then I went to college and managed to Nerd Out.

Hubby (then boyfriend) offered to help me build my first-ever character, but in 2004 the D&D 3.5 expansions were so massive I had far too many choices to choose from.

So Hubby had me go through some of his extra minis, and let me pick out one that I really liked. With his help, I ended up with the 2003 version of the Wood Elf Skirmisher.

Based solely on this mini, I started building Amara.

Hubby suggested that I try out the Scout class for my first one, since I couldn’t choose between a Rogue, Ranger, or Druid, and Scout is sort of in between at least the Rogue and Ranger classes. For whatever reason - I can’t remember it now - I also decided I wanted to play a half-elf.

Upon reading the generic backstory description the D&D books had for the Scout class, I figured my character needed some sort of Tragic BackstoryTM that would explain her scouting skills. Things like trap finding and dismantling, masterful rope use skills, hiding and tracking skills, and connection to animals.

I was in a big The Vision of Escaflowne kick at the time - which shows up in a couple other characters’ backstories - and was fascinated with the history between Van Fanel’s parents. Van’s human father Goau stumbled upon Varie, a Draconian woman, in the woods one day. Draconians have the ability to manifest feathered wings which allow them flight. It was rare to see a Draconian, and her beauty - with her wings shimmering in the moonlight as she waded in a small pool of water - mesmerized Goau. He instantly fell in love and brought Varie home to be his wife. The duo seemed to love each other deeply. Amara’s parents, on the other hand....

I’ll get into more when I break down their actual bios, but I took the idea of “Human stumbles upon exotic non-human in the woods and instantly marries her” and twisted it slightly. Amara’s mother was very much emotionally, and possibly even physically (I haven’t confirmed this yet), abused by Amara’s father. Amara, being a half-elf, also had to deal with abuse at the hands of many of her fellow clansmen - both the human and the elven clans; pretty much exclusively because she was a “half-breed” (Yes, I was really into InuYasha then too).

As I kept building Amara, I kept adding more and more tragedy to her backstory. I do enjoy what I created, but, especially after reading a lot of posts here on Tumblr, I’m afraid her history is nothing but a giant knotted ball of cliches and tropes. For now, though, I’m running with it. Perhaps I can figure out work-arounds later....

I never did get to play more than a session or two with Amara before the game disbanded (which seems to be a repeat thing with my gaming group), but she still lives on in my mind, and eventually in Gyateara.

Natalie

As I mentioned above, The Vision of Escaflowne very much inspired me while I was working on the earliest bits of Gyateara. Therefore, Natalie is your basic Isekai protagonist.

For those who don’t know the term (I didn’t know an official genre term existed until about a year ago), Isekai refers to a subgenre of fantasy/speculative fiction where the main character is abruptly teleported from their world to a new one; usually one with a fantasy setting.

It’s a massive subgenre and includes most of the fantasy animes I’ve watched:

InuYasha

The Vision of Escaflowne

Fushigi Yuugi

The Devil is a Part-Timer

The Rise of the Shield-hero

The Saga of Tanya the Evil

The Familiar of Zero

How to NOT Summon a Demon Lord

Sword Art Online (technically)

.Hack//Sign (technically)

Digimon (first season, specifically)

Psyren (manga)

The list can go on, but that’s not the point of this post. Getting back to the actual point, I clearly enjoyed this genre without even realizing there was a term for it, and created my own Isekai story. Natalie is from our world, but is abruptly teleported to Gyateara’s main Northern Isle, where she must save the country from being destroyed by a power-hungry, put painfully charismatic, villain.

I had taken elements from Kagome (InuYasha), Hitomi (The Vision of Escaflowne), Miaka (Fushigi Yuugi), and I think I had Ariel (The Little Mermaid) in there as well at one point. She was - and still kind of is - just “Generic Isekai Female Protagonist”, which is one of the main reasons the story she was in failed so soon into NaNoWriMo back in... 2014, I think. Almost a solid decade after I started dreaming up her Isekai story. She definitely needs to go back to the drawing board a bit to be properly fleshed out.

Connor

He was from the same story as Natalie. Connor was a denizen of Gyateara’s Northern Isles, and became Natalie’s traveling companion as he helped her try to find a way home. Ya know, that old Isekai chestnut. I even leaned heavily into the cliche and had the two of them fall in love throughout their journey. Which would lead to a third-act twist of “Okay, we can defeat the villain, but then what? Could they stay together? Would Natalie stay on Gyateara? Will Connor instead try to go home to Earth with her?” Real original. I know. Add in that Connor was a sort of Frankenstein’s monster of a character. Grab a snack, this is going to take a minute...

Connor’s traits included:

The basic backstory and drive of the player character in the video game Fable, in which his father was killed, his mother and sister tortured (and presumed dead, only to be proven still alive and captured), his home village burnt down, and he was taken in by the local guild so the guild master could train Connor to become the hero the GM believed Connor was prophesied to be.

The half-demon traits of InuYasha (InuYasha), which transformed him into a sort of were-cat. His mother, a full-demon, could become a 15ft (4.57m) tall panther with split tails. Connor’s half-demon heritage was hidden from him, and he only transformed under extreme moments of stress.

Yes. The “love interest is the only one who can snap the protag back from a monstrous rage” trope was heavily evident throughout the story.

His overall look was inspired by Link (Legend of Zelda video game franchise). His basic fighting style - swordsmanship and expert archery - was a sort of tag-teamed “thieving” from Link as well as Van (The Vision of Escaflowne).

A highly resistant, and begrudging submission to become the Hero of Prophecy lifted off of Tamahome (Fushigi Yuugi).

I know he was much more influenced by Van from Escaflowne when I was first making him. I even used Van as a reference guide when I tried to create character head shots of him. I just can’t recall now what else I swiped from that character.

I feel like there are also other male anime/video game protags I swiped traits from, but I can’t recall them anymore. Regardless, I threw them in a blender, and poured out the mixture that became Connor.

Jolene Crisslebalm

Ah, the character whose last name I always have to look up, because I can’t recall how I spelled it. Good starting point, right?

I am a very reserved person. In particular, a very sexually reserved person. But I do enjoy sex, and I love the act of flirting, and the “thrill of the chase” when it comes to dating, so a part of me always wonders what I would be like if I had let go of my reservations and just enjoyed the carnal pleasures of life.

So, two characters in particular - Willow (from Glitches) and Jolene - are my exploration of that Path Not Traveled. 

A friend of mine was hosting a D&D campaign via Roll20.net, and wondered if I wanted in. I hadn’t been involved in a D&D game in a year or so at that point, and I’ve enjoyed playing a couple of one-offs with him DMing, so I leapt at the chance to join. I had almost always played a form of Rogue class (hence the internet persona) in previous D&D campaigns, so I decided to stay the course, but with a twist I hadn’t tried before.

I wanted Jolene to be a sort of reluctant adventurer, preferring instead to be a cat burgler, but I also wanted that sexual/sensual exploration of character. So, she was a traveling prostitute (not exactly legal without proper ties to a brothel; much like a Sex Trade Guild sort of thing), but she also used her “alone time with clients” to scope out the place to see if it’s worth robbing.

Fast forward about 3 years, and I end up watching the first episode of the Freeform Marvel series Cloak and Dagger... where I saw Tandy doing the same thing, but roofying her targets instead of sleeping with them first... Great minds, and all that?

Eh, Jolene figures “might as well make money off of them before coming back and robbing the rest... less to carry later...”

In the end, while Jolene had an.... interesting run... and one I actually did enjoy role playing, even if it did leave me a bit frustrated afterwards (a good frustrated?)... Jolene just didn’t fit the world the DM created, nor did she fit in quite as well as I would have hoped with the other players.

They were all AMAZING players, by the way. Some of the best role players I’ve had the pleasure of meeting, and such fantastic writers as well. BTW, we wrote out everything in the Roll20 chat log instead of verbally playing or using video-chat. I must admit, I was quite envious of their skills. It was just a tighter knit group, and I wasn’t able to feel out their play-style well enough to continue with the group. Eventually they all had to go their separate ways anyway when their schedules no longer lined up.

Still, I LOVED Jolene, and she was the D&D character I had the joy of running the longest, so she NEEDED to live on. She did, in my first NaNoWriMo “win”. I managed to hit those 50,000 words, but I still had about 3/5ths of her story to write. 

See, while coming up with Jolene’s jaded attitude towards love and her pull towards a more hedonistic lifestyle, I went with the good old cliche of Heartbreak Was The Culprit. (With so many cliches in my character builds, is it a wonder why I just stick with fanfiction... the characters are already created...)

Jolene had her heart broken five times between the ages of 13 and 21. She was the type who fell quick into love, and fell HARD into it, and always felt intensely betrayed by her lovers when they left her. To be fair... they did routinely leave her for a woman of better social standing, or - in her youth - someone more willing to put out, or just straight up abandon her without so much as a farewell note. Eventually, she gave up on trying to find love, and joined a brothel, and then the thieves guild, and then headed out on her own from there.

The DM thought it unlikely that she was a prostitute for the better part of 5 years without a single pregnancy, so he rolled for it, and Jolene had one miscarriage, one still born, and one healthy child she gave up for adoption. I was not expecting to include that in her backstory, but it actually worked fairly well.

And all of that was the subject of my NaNo project: Lost Loves and Paramours. Jolene’s full biography leading up to the campaign: every man she fell in love with, every person she slept with, the one client who tried to murder her to avoid a scandal of his lust getting the better of him, the pain of her miscarry, the devastation of her stillborn, the heart break of giving up her surviving child, the struggles against a stalker, and her over-all YOLO attitude.

(Bitmoji is a beautiful thing...)

Well, second long post of this series is now complete. Next week, I’ll talk about the IRL inspiration for my Glitches characters. Thank you so much for indulging me on these epic ramblings.

[dreamingbrownie]

Tagging games #5

I’ve been tagged by @fandom-glazed and wanted to do this anyway, so here we go! Tagging anyone who wants to do this ^__^ 1. what’s your favorite way to dress? Black all the way. I’m a fancy goth on the inside and trying (but most likely failing) on the outside. 2. If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be? Not to be so voulnerable to the people that mean a lot to me would be nice. Not getting attached so fucking fast. 3. What movie/game/etc. helps you calm down? I tend to love movies reducing me to a sobbing mess, so that doesn’t count as calming me down, does it? As for a series, I’m all for Merlin BBC at the moment which I watch unfrequently with @fandom-glazed on Netflix and usually laugh my ass off at Arthur and Merlin’s antics. :D 4. What does your room smell like? Dust, nailpolish, some tea and the slightly burnt smell of my old heaters. 5. Do you like to organize? Hell fucking no. I’m an ADD person, nope, I don’t. 6. What kind of music would you listen to if you could only choose one? German rock / gothic rock. Unheilig, Staubkind, Blutengel, Lord of the Lost, Letzte Instanz, that kind of thing. Not that either of those bands would ring a bell with most of tumblr users, I assume. 7. What song is your aesthetic? Oh man, making me choose there is mean. Ghost Love Score by Nightwish, Stand my ground by Within Temptation, Morgana by Lord of the Lost. Hard and heavy. 8. What color do you think goes best with your personality? Crimson like my hair right now, probably. 9. Do you believe in auras? Nope. 10. What do you wish you hated, but actually like? Ballet. To wish for having been introduced to how to ruin your body in the most beautiful way as a child is kind of unhealthy. 11. Vague about your crush(es) Valentin Winter / van Porcelain. That man. Go to his tumblr @valentinvanporcelaine and dare ask me again why I’m addicted to his aesthetics. 12. Is there someone you have mixed feelings towards? Yep. Not talking about specific people in my personal life here tho.  13. Talk about an AU or story you came up with Oh boy, here we go. If you get me started on my vampire novels, we’ll be here all day and I won’t even be half way finished. I adore my own characters to a decree that might be weird, I ship some of them and the main gay pair Count Louis and his life long best friend and personal vassal Chris, later Knight of Alderton, to death and writing anything with those two idiots in love soothes me so much. The main trilogy (A shimmer of Red, Black and Silver respectively) is huge (as in 200k for the first, 140k for the second and 110k as of yet for the unfinished third) but not finished yet, I’m almost there and would have been a year ago if I’d just get my arse out of the Fantastic Beasts Fandom and saunter off to writing my own stuff again. Unfortunately, Albus and Gellert own my ass at the moment and I’m overflowing with plotbunnies that won’t go away on their own. I know my mind. I need to write them all down before I get any peace at all. Lol. 14. Do you like makeup? No, not really, I like sharp-winged-eyeliner though. 15. Do you prefer space or the ocean? Ocean all the way. Space is fascinating and I’m a massive nerd for SpaceX because their projects are so promising for the future of mankind, but standing at the shore, being able to breathe properly again (asthma kid here, hi) and cry from sheer relief of hearing the waves crash against the cliff or roll onto the beach again is my life blood. I’ll have that next week again. Fucking finally. The sea soothes me so, so much and I suffer from constant longing for distance. We have a very fitting word for the feeling in German. Fernweh. Roughly translated to “I want to get far away from here so much it hurts.” Yeah, that’s the German language right there for you. 16. If you could pick any planet besides earth, where would you live? Pandora, probably. You know, three meters tall blue humanoids, a captivating nature, trees large enough to be a bother for the planet’s rotation, probably? Yeah. I’d like that very much. 17. What form of government do you like the most? (capitalism, socialism, etc.) I’m quite content with the German system of Social economy. Pure capitalism, socialism and communism are shit, don’t work in the long run and should just be abolished altogether. 18. What animal would you keep as a pet, if you could? Give me a black cat, please 19. What do you think our purpose is in the universe? To find our place between the stars, become a multi planetary species and to develop a way that’s not as destructive to the planet we inhabit. There’s a beautiful sentence that sums it all up in Interstellar from Cooper: “We might have been born on earth, but we don’t have to die here.” 20. Do you believe in god(s)? Nope. Atheist all the way. Before anyone misunderstands me, though: believe whatever you want to, I don’t judge people for their religion, it’s just so not my tea. 21. Is there a song you can’t handle listening to, even though you like it? Yep. Chasing cars by Snow Patrol. 22. What ex do you miss the most, if you have one? Mean question. I only have an ex-girlfriend and sometimes I miss her gentleness and how instantly she saw right through me, but she replaced me, we’ve been done for a bit more than five years now and I’m over her. :) 23. Do you like soft, fluffy blankets or rough/smooth blankets? Soft, fluffy blankets all the way. 24. What is your favorite thing to learn about? History. What do you think I’d study that for? :D 25. What country’s history do you find the most interesting? Man, that’s a mean one again. I’m pretty solid on English history, but I don’t know the first thing about Asian history altogether because german schools don’t teach that and we’ve got a different subject for Asian culture in university so it’s not included in my must-do-schedule too, but I’d like to learn more about it soon. 26. What do you think about genderbent ____ (insert someone here) Nope, noping right out, nopedinopenope, not my tea. At all. 27. What breakup was the hardest, if you had one? The one I had was... bad. Not talking about that here any further tho. 28. Do you have someone where you can’t decide if you like them romantically or just as a friend? A couple of weeks ago, my answer would have been yes, but I’ve got that all sorted out now. Not dwelling on it, though. It doesn’t matter. 29. What do you think about tumblr discourse? Ughhh. Exhausting most of the time. I loved the metas in the Sherlock fandom before it all fell apart and I like Fantastic Beasts metas, but people get so emotional so fast that normal discussions are all but impossible here. 30. What instrument do you wish you could master? Piano. Still salty that I’ve been forced to stop that as a child. 31. How easy is it for you to be honest? Very. I’m a very honest person and I’m shite at lying. 32. Do you have any strange interests? Fandoms, probably? xD I find fossils infinetely fascinating, anything conserning dragons (that sounds strange in context, I’m well aware that they don’t exist) and the way stars are born in large nebulas is something poetic to me. 33. Do you have any strange fears? Strange? I dunno, I’ve just about ran out of the kitched screaming at the top of my lungs when a fucking spider dropped ON MY HEAD yesterday evening, you tell me if that’s strange. Drowning would suck a lot, I guess. Anything that makes you suffocate. Nope. 34. What food do you binge on when you’re lazy? Toast with something on it. I did that in exam week last week, not because I’m lazy but because I just did not have the time or the nerves for cooking. 35. When you get angry, how do you show it? I go all quiet and drill my posture to absolute perfection until it hurts. You’ll notice when I’m mad. Seldom happens, though, I’m hard to offend. 36. Do you have any impulsive movements? (twitches, ticks, flapping, etc.) Picking fingers. Bad habit that I’m trying to get rid of. 37. What do you listen to music on? YouTube and Spotify on the PC, used my phone a massive lot for that during the summer too but now with all the layers of jackets and coats and such it’s a bit hard to stuff my large phone anywhere. 38. Are you left brained or right brained? Uhhhh what? I’m right handed, but I don’t think I have any tendencies otherwise. 39. Earbuds or headphones? Earbuds. 40. Do you like light blankets or heavy blankets? Light blankets for around the flat, heavy in bed. I’d like to be able to breathe.

[raeofgayshine]

The World We’re Gonna Make

Some background info/a look at the characters in my Orphan Au verse. If you want to read more about their adventures, there are two stories that have been posted to go along with it so far, which you can read here and here

Logan Lockerman: - He’s the oldest (by a couple of months but still) - He’s very protective over the others and worries about them constantly, he’s basically the Mom Friend - Placed in the system when he was born, has no idea who his parents are and doesn’t give a shit either - He’s trans, which was something he discovered when he was like three (Patton helped him choose his new name) - People always tell him he’s too young to really know though and so most adults refuse to call him Logan or use the right pronouns. - Logan almost always corrects them though even if it makes his situation worse because he does not have a chill, someone please stop him - Thomas calls Logan the right name/uses the right pronouns from the start which helps with trust - Literally is the biggest troublemaker ever, because he’s stubborn as fuck and also refuses to follow any sort of rule he thinks is stupid or unfair. Has his own agenda in life, most of which revolves around keeping Patton, Roman, and Virgil safe and with him at all times, and will do whatever it takes for that to happens - Gives zero shits what anyone thinks about him (except he sort of cares what Patton, Roman, and Virgil think and eventually Thomas too) - He’s the honorary grandson of a knitting club that meets in the library every Wednesday night. They all love him and his rebellion, especially once they see him interact with Pat, Ro, and V, and are always giving him tips on how not to get caught. They’ve taught him how to knit although he doesn’t admit that, and help him whenever he needs to do something he maybe shouldn’t - They’re also totally chill with him being trans and are willing to fight people who say he is too young - Literally the best role models ever, I love them - A tol boy. Even at 12 he’s already v tall and still growing. None of his pants fit him anymore, so Thomas has to take him shopping after he takes them in just so that he has something that fits - Used to cut his own hair when it got too long with a little help from Patton, and while it always looked a little messy it was better than the dysphoria caused by long hair - He gets his first real haircut after moving in with Thomas when Patton asks to borrow scissors to cut Logan’s hair and Thomas offers to book an appointment with an actual hair stylist instead - Is a huge fucking nerd who loves space and would love to be an astronaut except that it would require him to leave the others and he’s too attached to do that (although he would never admit that because “ew, feelings” - “VIVA LA PLUTO, FUCK YOU” - Likes watching the stars when he’s stressed, it calms him down. - He also likes talking about the stars with the others when they’re upset, it’s basically the only way he knows how to calm them down. It works most of the time. - Also is really fascinated by the ocean but hasn’t spent a lot of time studying it. It lowkey scares him as much as it fascinates him. - Maybe wants to be a marine biologist, who knows, he’s fucking 12 after all - Self Care who? I don’t know her. - Will fight his family if they don’t take care of themselves but he doesn’t do it himself - A true disaster gay - Would stay up all night studying if Patton could sleep alone. Sometimes he sneaks out of bed if Ro or Virgil joins Patton because of nightmares and will sit reading at his desk for hours until one of them wakes up and drags him to bed - Has passed out his desk several times. Has literally zero regrets, unless Patton finds him and scolds him because Patton is good at making him feel guilty for doing that. - Hella smart, which he uses to keep from getting caught doing things he shouldn’t - Grew up too fast and never got to really act like a child because he always felt the need to protect the others from the day he met Patton - Has trouble letting loose, even after they are taken in by Thomas, although slowly he learns to relax just a little, and there are rare times he completely lets himself go - One of those times is when they visit the Planetarium and Science Museum, and Logan lets his enthusiasm and joy take over as he drags the others around to each exhibit, excitedly explaining everything he knows on each topic before they move on. - A true Slytherclaw

Patton Morgan: - The second oldest - The softest puffball ever, unless you hurt his friends in which case he will fight you zero hesitation - The Dad Friend who will adopt literally anyone who needs him even if they’re older than him it doesn’t matter, you’re still one of his kiddos - Was given up when he was a few months old for unknown reasons, always has been curious about his parents but there’s no information to go on so he tries not to let it bug him. Besides he has his own famILY and he loves them more than anything - Gives the best hugs, and gives them all the time. Always greets people with a hug, even if it hasn’t been the long since he last saw them - Has trouble sleeping alone so he usually sleeps with Logan especially when they were kids. - Loves all animals, especially cats, even if he’s allergic and cannot resist helping an animal in need. He’s gotten in trouble quite a few times for hiding injured wild animals in his room that he was nursing back to health - Animals love him just as much back, everywhere he goes he attracts them like a fucking Disney Princess - Not as much of a troublemaker as Logan, doesn’t like breaking the rules or making others upset with him, but will do it when necessary, usually to protect his family - Loves to bake and taught himself to do so with a bit of help from Logan when he was 7. Always gets in trouble for baking unsupervised, and has burned himself more than once by getting distracted - Tried to cook once and ended up almost setting the kitchen on fire. He’s not allowed to cook anymore. - Loves to draw and is actually pretty good at it, but thinks of it as more of a silly hobby than anything else (as in he doesn’t think he’s that great but he others strongly disagree) - Owns way too many coloring books that he likes to share with the others when they’re stressed, it’s the ultimate relaxation technique - Looks on the bright side of life and tries to keep a positive attitude as much as possible. - Loves make others happy it is his favorite past time - Shorter than Logan but not by much. He’s covered in freckles and has curly dirty blonde hair that’s almost always messy and impossible to tame but in a cute way - He’s adorable and he knows it and uses it to keep himself and his family out of trouble - Convinced Logan to get matching glasses because he thought it was cute - Has a super pretty singing voice but always gets really shy about it and insists it’s not that good - Spends a lot of time threatening to fight his friends for not believing in themselves or thinking they’re not good enough/good at something, but also is a major hypocrite because he always talks down about himself - Needs! To! Learn! Self! Love!! - Wears his heart on his sleeve and always feels every emotion like, 10000%, which leads to him getting hurt a lot and the others threatening to beat people up - Used to get bullied until Logan found out, afterward which everyone was too scared to even look at Patton wrong because Logan is hella fucking protective when he needs to be - Loves Christmas, to the point where as soon as Halloween is over he’s blasting Christmas carols and watching Christmas movies, he even makes his own decorations out of paper because that’s all they have and covers everything with cheer - Has a journal where he writes all the good stuff that happens every day which helps cheer him up when he’s sad - Aggressively loves you tbh - Cries when he’s angry/frustrated, which often makes people think that he is weak/they need to baby him - Does Not need to be treated like a child, he can take care of himself perfectly fine thank you very much - Never is ashamed to admit when he does need help, which is why he gets frustrated when people don’t believe him when he says he can handle something - Good at reading people and always knows what they need to hear when they need to hear it - Has the best puns - An honest to god Slytherpuff and it’s terrifying

Roman Creasy: - The baby - The smolest child, will actually fight you if you point it out though - Was raised by a single mother until he was 5, it had always been just the two of them and they were really close so he was super upset when she died - She was killed in a car accident by a drunk driver. Roman walked away with only a few cuts and bruises - Roman doesn’t really like riding in cars and gets antsy when he has to be in them too long as a result - Learned from an early age that nothing in life comes for free so if you want your dreams to come true you have to work for them - Believes that anything is possible if you’re willing to put in the effort, no dream is too big even when others say it’s unrealistic - Wants to be an actor on Broadway and has since he was two and his mom took him for the first time to the local theater. He fell in love instantly with the music, the dancing, the sparkling lights, and declared that that was what he wanted to do - He spends a lot of time practicing even though others don’t always see it like that. He’s always singing, dancing, trying to get better, every story he tells is a performance because he’s practicing for being on stage - Loves all things Disney and will defend the movies to his grave, if you insult them in front of him you’ve made a mistake because he will go off on you - His favorite princess is Mulan and his favorite prince Flynn Ryder - One of the last things he has from before his mom died is the prince outfit she bought him for Halloween when he was five. It was too big then, and now it’s mostly falling apart, but he still wears the sash when he plays prince - After Thomas takes them in, Thomas buys him a new costume that Roman wears basically all the time - Is always covered in cuts and bruises from “Questing”, and from doing things like climbing trees he shouldn’t or climbing on top the monkey bars and falling off. - Roman gets into a lot of trouble but usually on accident, he’s an act now think later sort of person, often times he sees rules as a challenge rather than something to be followed, and he doesn’t hesitate to save someone in trouble (He’s gotten into a few fights with bullies at school, Logan is proud and Patton just concerned). - He writes stories all the time but will only share them with his family because he doesn’t think they’re that good. - He also has the tendency to start things and never finish them because he just has a lot of ideas - He carries a notebook around so that he jots down his ideas whenever they come to him so he doesn't forget them because his mind is just always going - Whenever he has nightmares he’ll sneak into Patton and Logan’s room and depending on what it was about depends on who he wakes up for comfort - Most of the time he wakes up Patton because a hug from him can cure basically anything and he’s the best at comfort - When he dreams about his mom though he usually wakes up Logan because he needs the comfort of the mom friend - Is adorable as fuck and knows it. His hair is a light brown and a little wavy, the ends are dyed red after he moves in with Thomas and he mostly keeps it pushed out of his face but when he gets really excited some of it falls in his eyes and it makes him look even more adorable, he has freckles on his face from the sun but that’s it. - He’s almost always happy and excited and is like the most precious child in the world, always ready for adventure, he’s basically like a puppy I love him. - He’s really smart but has trouble sitting still and learning, but Logan helps him out by taking the time to explain things in a way that keeps Roman interested and at a pace he can understand - Took dance classes before his mother died and really wants to take them again, but he also doesn’t want to bother Thomas by asking so he just tries to teach himself from videos he sees online - Thomas catches on at some point and signs Roman up for classes and Ro cries he is so grateful - Pretends that he’s super confident and bulletproof and like nothing can hurt him, but is actually really sensitive and takes everything that people say to heart - Craves validation and being praised which leads to him going out of his way to get attention - Is such a people pleaser. He wants everyone to like him and gets upset when they don’t - Needs to be protected he is literally so pure - Self-identified Gryffindor willing to fight you about it, but could easily be Ravenclaw or Slytherin

Virgil Antley: - The newest to the family, he’s only been with them about five months before Thomas takes them in - The second youngest, about 6 months older than Roman - They are all very protective over him, literally the other three would kill for Virgil without a second thought. - An anxious babe, but also really soft and sweet. - Just wants to be loved tbh - Cries when people yell at him. - Usually assumes if someone is mad it’s his fault and tries to apologize even if they’re not mad at him - Because of his anxiety there’s a lot of times that he can’t talk, so Logan taught them all sign language so that they communicate when Virgil has trouble speaking - Was put into the system after his parents were arrested for drug charges and stayed at the same group home as the others for 4 months while his parents went to rehab and tried to prove they were fit to have a kid again - Got really attached to the others after Logan calmed him down from a nightmare talking about stars and then Patton cuddled him until he fell back asleep. - It took him a little longer to warm up to Roman cause he’s so loud and excitable, but after Ro fell asleep on him one night Virgil decided he didn’t mind him so much - Virgil is highly protective over Roman, and will fight anyone that touches him. - They bicker a lot and can be sort of mean to each other but in a playful way and if anyone else said the things about Ro that Virgil did (or vice versa), Virgil would kick their ass - After 4 months had passed his parents came to take him home and Virgil doesn’t really want to go but there’s literally nothing the others can do. - Logan yells and throws a fit because there’s clearly something off, no kid should be afraid of their parents like Virgil is of his but there’s literally nothing they can do - Two weeks later Virgil’s parents get arrested for child abuse after Virgil misses like three days of school and they come to his house to find him locked in the basement covered in bruises - He had a broken arm and quite a few bruised/cracked ribs from where he fell (was pushed) down the stairs and a concussion, as well as being dehydrated from being locked up for so long without food or drink. - The three boys sneak into the hospital to see him when they find out and refuse to leave Virgil’s side until he’s discharged and eventually the doctors give in because it would honestly just cause Virgil more trauma at this point to remove them then to let them stay - He returns to the group home after a few days in the hospital for about a week, until someone (Thomas) offers to foster him so that he could get access to the care he really needed to recover from the trauma - Which leads to Thomas taking in all four boys after he sees them together and decides they can’t be separated - Before meeting the others Virgil was pretty touch starved, so afterwards he becomes super clingy and is usually always in physical contact with at least one of the others in some form. It also helps calm him down and keep him grounded when his anxiety is !!!! - Learned to play the piano from his music teacher when he was 5 and was basically a natural. - By the time he moves in with Thomas, who has a piano in his living room, he hasn’t played in over a year and it takes him a while to actually work up the courage to do so again, but he’s still just as good. - He wants to learn other instruments when he gets older, but right now hasn’t decided exactly what yet - Average height for his age, but also too skinny thanks to neglect. On the paler side, but not necessarily in the way that looks unhealthy, it’s just his skin tone. - Likes to hide behind his fringe (which is dyed purple thanks to Thomas) because it makes him feel safer. He usually wears an oversized hoodie for the same reason - Has the cutest fucking puppy eyes that you cannot resist and melts even the most frozen of hearts - Is honestly a really chill child, especially compared to Roman who is sort of high demand, he doesn’t require much attention on a day to day basis but he does like it when he gets some - Has a curious side that he doesn’t show a lot because anxiety, but like as he becomes more comfortable around the others he starts asking more questions. - Once he gets started, its hard to get Virgil to stop asking questions, he always wants to know more, partly for the fun of it, partly because the more knows the more his anxiety is eased - Likes science because it’s a lot about asking questions and trying to find answers. - Logan and Virgil have gotten into a lot of questionable situations in the name of science -Tbh he’s a Griffinclaw but he will literally fight you over that

Thomas Sanders: - The foster dad who takes the boys in - In a constant state of s t r e s s - Is Trying His Best with mild success - There are good and bad days, though he likes to think there’s more good than bad over time - Just wants the boys to be happy healthy children who aren’t worried about things they shouldn’t be, like not getting food or being separated or being punished for giving their opinion - Although yelling isn’t the best way to share your thoughts, Logan, there is a polite way to disagree with someone especially if they’re willing to listen to you there’s no need shout - A pure soul - Often bites off more than he can chew because he just wants to help others out and make them happy - Signed up to be a foster parent so that he could help out kids in need - Virgil was supposed to be his first foster kid, alone, but when Thomas met the others (and maybe was threatened a bit by Logan and Patton) and saw the four of them together he decided he was going to take all of them - A lot of people think he’s crazy for taking on four kids his first time, especially when all of those four kids are known for making trouble and/or were dealing with effects of various types of trauma - Thomas thinks he’s crazy a lot of the time too, but at the same time these boys are worth it - A high school music teacher who also helps out a lot with theater, also basically the coolest teacher in school everyone loves him - He learned sign language after he decided to be a teacher because he figured it could help out with students/parents/siblings - Acts whenever he has a chance at the local theater downtown - He takes the boys there one Saturday and Roman falls in love instantly - Honestly one of the things that helps Roman open up to him - Does his best to support the boys however he can, like getting Logan new clothes and a haircut, buying Virgil sheet music and letting him use the piano, taking Roman to dance classes, and very easily being talked into adopting a dog by Patton (He had been debating on doing it anyways, and Pat had a good point it might help the others open up and trust him more and also help Virgil relax a bit) - Is super excited/proud whenever one of the boys opens up to him a little or even when they just start to relax more in his presence - Almost cries the first time Virgil talks to him tbh because it’s such a big deal - Loves to do things that makes the boys happy and spends so much time trying to figure out what they each enjoy so that he can take them to those things - He tries his best to accommodate each one of the boys and their little quirks - Like that he shouldn’t ever raise his voice around Virgil and to make sure he gives the boy extra reassurance when something went wrong - Or that the best way to get Roman to do anything, even the things he didn’t want to do, was to make it seem like a quest of some sort - Realizes early on that Patton hated being treated like he couldn’t take care of himself so he lets him have independence first, and when he does offer help makes it clear it’s not because he doesn’t think Patton is capable, but because he just likes to help - Picks up on the fact that Logan shoves aside his own needs and wants to put the others first, so he makes it his mission to give Lo gentle reminders to take care of himself, steps in when he gets too stressed and gets him to relax, and encourages him to indulge in the little pleasures he otherwise wouldn’t. - Before the boys move in with him, Thomas doesn’t cook a lot, he doesn’t really know how and with his schedule and school there wasn’t always a lot of time, but when he takes them in he makes an effort to start cooking more, and although it’s a bit of a disaster at first with the help of Logan (who treats cooking like a science), between the two of them they manage to figure it out and soon it becomes pretty rare that they set off the fire alarm - Patton teaches Thomas how to bake!! It’s really cute, and it’s one of the ways they bond from the very beginning. - Thomas is open from the start with the boys that this is just as much of a learning experience for him as it is for them, all of them are in this boat together trying to figure out how it works and the best way to go about things, they might make mistakes but it was okay because none of them were perfect - Still, Thomas always gets upset with himself every time he says/does something that sets back the progress he’s made with the boys. He tries not to let them see that though because he doesn’t want them to blame themselves. - Loves his boys from the moment he meets them, lowkey wants to adopt them after a few weeks but like is too scared to bring it up because he doesn’t want to scare them off - The Best Dad - A Hufflepuff through and through

[waywardnerd67]

Last Part of Me: Chap. 3 - Aftermath

Summary: The final battle between (Y/N) and Abner happens in the same cemetery where Michael and Lucifer were supposed to fight. Sam and Dean rush to the fight getting there too late. Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Castiel, Reader, Zeniel (OFC) Pairing: Dean x Reader Warnings: Fluff/Angst Word Count: 1747 A/N: As always this is unbeta so all mistakes are mine. Likes, comments and reblogs are splendid and I will love you doubly for them! Enjoy!

Catch Up Here: Last Part of Me Masterlist

(Y/N) felt someone pulling the hood from her head and she slowly opened her eyes. Blinking a few times her eyes came into focus as she looked around seeing headstones and brown grass everywhere. She could hear a few soft voices whispering behind her.

“Hey, you might as well speak up for the whole class to hear or be quiet. I don’t care which but choose one.” She said being met with silence, “Best choice you could have made.” She muttered.

“Hello (Y/N), it is nice to meet you finally.” Abner’s voice came from behind her sending chills down her spine.

As he walked in front of her, (Y/N) was taken back by how different they looked from one another. He had shaggy coal black hair, pale hazel eyes and tan skin. He was not tall nor muscular. He truly did not look like a threat at all which made him more dangerous.

“Abner, I presume. You know there was no reason to kidnap me. I was on my way to the meeting place of your choice.” (Y/N) said as the corner of his mouth curled into a smirk.

He knelt in front of her reaching one arm behind the chair she was tied too. She felt her hands freed and then he untied her feet extending a hand to help her up. (Y/N) ignored it and stood up in front him. Glancing around she saw that they were surrounded by his followers. She knew that running was out of the question.

“I’m sorry about the harshness of your capture. However, your pesky angel friends were onto your leaving Heaven. I could not take the chance of them taking you back there. Not before we had a chance to speak first. You can see that you can run away so do you think we could just sit and have a conversation as siblings?” He asked as he motioned to a bench at the entrance of the cemetery.

She nodded following him and sitting beside him. He started off by asking her questions of how she was brought up and when she discovered her powers. He seemed genuinely interested in getting to know her and if (Y/N) did not know better she would have given him the benefit of the doubt. However, Castiel’s profile on him was running on repeat inside her head.

“Abner, may I ask you a question?” She asked as he nodded, “What exactly is your plan for Earth? With me?”

He ran his hand over the back of his neck chuckling, “Is it not obvious what I want? It is the same thing our father would have wanted. For his children to take his place on the throne of Heaven and finally rid this pathetic world of all weakness. You and I storming this planet together in the name of Michael. Only those who pledge their complete devotion to us will roam the Earth.”

(Y/N)’s body went cold listening to his demented plan and she could feel a surge of power traveling up her veins. She stood up looking down at him, “You know I won’t follow you and I will kill you.” She said calmly as he stood in front of her.

“Yes, I know. However, you will lose your life because I am more powerful than you could even imagine. You will lose, (Y/N). I will not take any joy in killing my sister, but I will also not let you stand in my way of the mission that was instilled in me from the moment of my creation.” Abner waved his hand at the angels nearest them.

The popped away along with every angel that had surrounded them. She looked around bewildered as to why he would send them away. “What happens next Abner?” she asked as he walked away from her.

“You gather your army and I will gather mine. We will meet back here in the very spot our father was supposed to defeat his brother Lucifer. We will finally have the battle for the world. One week, sister. One week and everything comes to an end. I will see you then.” With that he vanished the sounds of wings flapping.

(Y/N) sighed heavily knowing she needed to see Castiel and Zeniel as soon as possible. One thing was for certain, the Winchesters could not be a part of this battle. They would instantly be killed and the mere thought of Dean dying was enough to make her powers go wildly uncontrolled.

She flew to the sandbox where Zeniel was waiting impatiently for her. (Y/N) could see how angry she was at her, but still engulfed her into a big hug. “If you ever do that again I swear to Chuck I will end you myself.”

(Y/N) chuckled nodding, “I promise I will never do that again. Now we need to talk with Cas about going into battle and how to keep the Winchesters out of it.”

For the better part of the next week (Y/N), Zeniel and Castiel devised a plan to go into battle against Abner. (Y/N) pulled Castiel aside after their last meeting with the angels going down to Earth with them the next morning.

“Cas, I have a special order for you and you will probably not like it.” She said as they sat down in her room.

A small smile spread across his lips, “You want me to keep the Winchesters as far away from this battle as possible, right?”

She nodded smiling, “You know me so well. You know Abner will use them against Zeniel and myself. We cannot afford for either of us to be distracted. Abner is much more powerful than I am, but to Nephilims against one then we have a chance.”

“I agree. I will do my best to keep them from the fight.” Castiel stood up walking to the door then turned around, “However, I do want to point out that Sam and Dean are a great weapon to use. Abner will never expect them to survive the fight but as we both know they are harder to kill than they look.”

(Y/N) snickered, “You may be right about that, but I don’t want to take the chance. I ca-can’t even think about if… anything was to happen to him…” her emotions were getting the better of her and Castiel nodded knowingly.

“Don’t worry (Y/N), I will keep them safe.” He said reassuringly as he walked out of her room.

She could not sleep as her nerves kept her body buzzing. She sat up writing in her journal along with a letter to Dean. She was confident in her soldiers, but she knew realistically that the chances of them winning was not good. (Y/N) did not want to leave any of her feelings for Dean unknown. She wanted them both to have some sense of closure.

The next morning, Castiel set off to the Bunker to keep the Winchesters there. (Y/N) and Zeniel were in the armory of Heaven getting ready for their battle. Everyone was silent as they put on their armor and grabbed their weapons.

She led them through the doorway to Earth and then through the entrance of Stull Cemetery. In the very spot where Sam took a swan dive into the Lucifer’s cage, Abner was waiting for her. His flock of followers stood behind him. At least thirty or so angels against (Y/N)’s twenty. The odds were in his favorite but something deep within her gave her the confidence that they had a chance.

“Hello, (Y/N). I’ll give you one last chance to join me before I rid all of you from this existence.” Abner shouted.

(Y/N) stood her ground giving a hand signal for her army to halt. She shook her head as Abner’s laughter filled the tension filled air. His face went emotionless in a spit second and he said, “Have it your way.” He motioned for his army to attack as she did.

The battle was brutal as angel fought angel. The smell of sizzling wings filled the air and charred the ground beneath them. She caught a glimpse of Zeniel with blood streaking her blonde hair. Just past her (Y/N) spotted Abner and she charge through the battling angels straight at him. A cocky smirk on his face fueling her anger that surge her powers into overdrive.

“Finally, the world can see just what that apocalypse was supposed to be all those years ago.” He said as she pulled out Michael’s sword.

Appearing behind him as if out of thin air was a long lance that she recognized from her father’s journal. “How did you get that?” she asked as they began to circle one another.

“You were not the only one he left his legacy too. It will give you the slow and painful death you deserve for betraying the beliefs of our father. You disgrace him!” He yelled his wings flashing before her.

They were exactly like hers but the arura around them was darker. He lunged at her and their battle began. It seemed as though everybody around them stopped to watch the greatest battle go down. Clinking of their weapons echoed throughout the headstones and she was amazed by the strength he possessed.

She was able to get the better of him pinning him to the ground and aiming her sword at his chest. Abner was panting and just as she was going to end it all she heard the familiar roar of the Impala. In that single moment everything changed. (Y/N) glanced away to see Dean, Sam and Castiel running towards them.

That is when her chest felt like it was on fire. Her heart was beating in her ears and her legs were losing feeling as she hit the ground hard. (Y/N)’s sword fell by her side and she stared up to see Abner standing over her.

“Goodbye sister.” He said plunging the lance deeper into her chest.

She could no longer catch her breath. Every time she tried to her chest burned and a metallic taste flooded her mouth. In the distance she could hear Dean’s voice yelling her name and she prayed to just see him one last time.

(Y/N)’s eyelids were too heavy to keep open and she felt as if her body was floating. The only sounds she could hear was her ever slowing heartbeat until there was nothing. No sound, no sights, just nothingness. A vast void. The Empty.  

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[austenwilliam]

Reindeer Games and Baby Names

Pairing: Tom x Reader

Rating: Fluffy fluff with a bit of humour.

Disclaimer: I do not own Tom in any way, shape or form. The same goes for any of the MCU characters or their respective actors/actresses. This is purely for entertainment purposes. I write for fun and I do not make any money from this, whatsoever.

Warnings: Alcohol mentionings.

Summary: This is what happens when you mix Halloween, alcohol, MCU and a pregnant lady together. (I really do suck at summaries so...on with the show!!? *nervous laugh*)

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The music blared, the room shook with the bass and the chatter of the partying people within the hall. Halloween had come around once again and Tom was slightly on edge about the celebrations to come. It had been the same year that The Avengers had been released out in to the world and the whole cast had decided to gather together at Robert's for a fancy dress party. The only downside was that it meant Tom had do put on the full gear and make an appearance as Loki once again.

Earlier on that day his love and other half had giggled as he sat getting his wig put on. She sat opposite him with his Loki helmet on quoting his lines back to him whilst laughing endlessly.

"You are such a nerd, you know that right?!" He tried to sound hurt at her making fun of him but her laugh was so infectious he couldn't help but join in, only stopping when the artist helping him to apply his Loki hair tugged at his head in a silent message warning him to keep still. He coughed and apologised before giving his love a stern glare but still with a twinkle in his eye.

At the party he was so happy to see everyone else dressed in some sort of crazy costume. He loved watching both Chris' sizing up as Thor and Captain America. Mr Stark was having the most fun out of it as all he had to do was wear his usual attire with the blue reactor in the centre of his chest.

"Hey, Reindeer Games! How's it going?" Robert clapped Tom hard on the back causing the smaller man to lurch forward almost choking on his drink. He swallowed hard and spluttered before regaining his composure. Clearing his throat he grunted and looked to the one and only, Iron Man.

"I'm too sober for this."

"Well I know the perfect solution for that!" He chirped and then as if by magic he produced another glass of some sort of alcoholic beverage and passed it to Tom. "Drink up, Thor is out doing the lot of us." He nodded towards Chris who was getting fancy with his beloved Mjolnir, lifting it up as if he was the only one that actually could. Tom shook his head and wondered over to his on screen brother, half brother.

"Brother, you do know you are making yourself look like such a fool with that damned hammer?"

"Not at all, dear brother!" Chris bellowed in his brash and well perfected English accent.

"Well, please stop swinging your hammer about, you're going to take someone out with it."

"Oh Loki, lighten up and have some fun. Anyway, where is that lovely lady of yours?" Chris asked, finally putting the hammer down. Tom couldn't help but light up as he got the chance to talk about his beloved. Whenever the mention of her name or the thought of her came up he would smile, from ear to ear. Regardless of what mood he was in she would instantly lighten up the room with just her laugh and her presence. It was now that he couldn't be more proud of her and happier to be the one she loves.

"She is at home, resting. It's not too long now for her." His smile betrayed his character as he looked each and every part the loving partner, a far cry from Loki's cold demeanour.

There was not another minute he could have to think about her before Captain America came running over to him almost out of breath. How he got so breathless Tom wasn't sure as it was only from one side of the hall to the other but he didn't dare ask.

"Mr. Asgard, it's time! You best get yourself to that hospital now!"

With that news it was as if the whole room froze. After a second to contemplate what was happening the whole room went in to fast forward mode. Luckily Rogers had not had the chance to have a drink he offered to take the silver tongued Asgardian to the hospital.

"We're not going to have time to change are we?" Robert asked as the closest of Tom's friends followed him to the car. Thunderous Chris charged his way to the front and called shot gun but Rogers stood firm and told the drunken God to get in the back as the front was reserved for the father to be.

Tom climbed in to the front seat of the car and he was in such shock that he could barely form a sentence. Instead he stayed quiet thinking of what awaited him when he arrived on the maternity ward.

After what felt like a lifetime stuck in a car with the Avengers and one who was rather drunk in particular, Tom was glad to get out and first of all get some air. The moment the car door shut he kicked himself in to gear and ran inside of the ward. The adrenaline running through him made him forget that he was still in his Loki get up. As he stood at the reception desk he asked for the number of the room his love was in. The receptionist just looked at him dumbstruck before shakily pointing towards the corridor he needed to go down.

"N-Number 449."

He nodded and without another word he ran towards the said room. The receptionist had to do a double take as she was pretty sure the Norse God, Loki had just asked her where a room was. She then noticed Iron Man, Captain America, Thor and Black Widow run in after the God of mischief. She shook her head and pinched herself, muttering that she really needed to get more sleep as she was sure she was seeing things.

Tom walked in to the room to find his love pacing the room, back and forth. Her hands were on the small of her back, her forehead covered in a thin layer of sweat. As soon as she noticed her other half standing there still in his costume and she chuckled through her pain.

"My love, you do know how to pick your times." Tom walked over to her and rubbed the bottom of her back for her, guiding her to the bed.

"I'm ever so sorry but the mini one was pretty adamant he was coming today." She panted as another contraction hit her, wracking her body with unwanted sensations. She gripped on to his hand and squeezed tight.

Once he had finally convinced her to lay down on the bed he made sure she was as comfortable as possible. He did not let go of her hand at all and let her know that he was there. When the nurses walked in at first he had to convince her that he was in fact her husband and not some crazy Loki fanatic. Unfortunately the wig glue did not allow him from just removing the whole thing to reveal himself. After a moment or so they completely forgot about the trickster in the room and focused on the mother to be. They monitored her vitals and checked the progress of her labour.

The same routine went on for another four lengthy hours before the moment finally came. His love was pushing with all the strength she had to bring their child in to the world. The whole time he did not leave her side, giving her words of encouragement as she struggled through the ordeal.

"I can't push anymore, I am tired." She whimpered, looking up at her man with desperate need for it all to be over,

Tom kissed her forehead, not caring for the sweat that dripped down it. He ran his free hand through her matted hair and smiled softly giving as much sympathy as was possible for a man to give a woman who was experiencing the most amount of pain possible. He looked down at the beautiful woman laying there, taking a moment to gather up more courage and strength to push. Although she was sweating, her hair was a mess and she looked tired beyond belief he couldn't find a woman more beautiful. She lay there about to give him the most precious gift anybody could wish for.

"You can do this my love. Just think, one more and it will all be over and he will be here." He soothed her and kissed her temple. "I'm here and I'm not going to let go. So now be a love and push, just once more." He kindly instructed her. He looked to the nurse at the delivery end of his love and nodded hoping they would encourage her also.

With another push she bore down and screamed as she gave her all to bring their child in to the world. Suddenly she fell back as if the victory had been won and she was done. Everything soon stopped as the sound of a baby's cry filled the room. Both lovers looked at each other and it was as if the whole world had stopped around them. Tears sprung to his eyes as he couldn't love her more than he did in that exact moment. He bent down and kissed her lovingly on her lips before kissing her all over face.

She laughed and told him to stop being such a nerd and to see what they were doing with their baby. He stood tall and turned to see a nurse coming towards them with a small bundle wrapped up in layers of warm blankets. The nurse was about to hand the young one to her mother but she said she wanted Tom to be the first to hold their child. The nurse smiled and nodded before holding out the bundle to him.

"Welcome to fatherhood, dad. This is your little girl." The nurse placed the child in his arms and he looked shocked at the nurse.

"Girl? We were told we were expecting a boy?"

"Well it looks like the scans missed out in this little one as she is definitely your daughter, sir." The nurse smiled as he looked like a deer caught in headlights.

Tom swallowed hard as he looked down at his little girl for the first time. He was told that you never knew what true and pure love was until you held your child in your arms for the very first time. He felt just that as he looked at the sleeping angel in his arms, her nose so small, her hands too and her cheeks so round and soft.

He cried silent tears of joy as he held her tiny hand in his.

"She's perfect." He whispered and then sat beside his love who reached over to stroke the crown of their child's head.

The new parents shared a moment of joy together, coming to terms with the new news as well as the idea of finally becoming parents. The quiet moment was short lived as soon as the nurse allowed the bunch from outside of the room to enter.

Captain and Widow turned in to piles of softness as they laid eyes on the beautiful little girl where as Stark looked at her as if she was an alien. Typical Stark. Thor hugged both of the new parents and congratulated them both.

"What are you going to name the little bundle?"

"Well we had planned for Adam as a boy but well, turns out we were blessed with a precious girl instead."

"What about Thorina?!" Thor laughed, still slightly drunk.

"Oh come on that's an awful name!" Captain added which made Thor frown.

"Well it's a good thing I didn't ask for your opinion then."

Tom shook his head as the group sat and chatted amongst themselves, Captain and Thor bickering over Thor's baby name ideas. He looked to his love who was now holding their child and smiling down at the sleeping joy.

"I love you, thank you for giving me this gift." He said as he kissed the top of her head. She just gave his hand a tight squeeze and looked to their daughter.

"I guess we will have to think of a name for her and luckily everything at home is neutral."

He nodded and agreed. They weren't sure if they wanted to make everything at home blue so they opted for more gender neutral colours.

After a while the gang left the new parents to it leaving them with well wishes and many congratulations. Tom lay in the bed with his love and cuddled her close as they both looked to the bassinet beside them that held their sleeping angel. He cuddled his darling closer and kissed her cheek before urging her to sleep as no doubt she was exhausted.

Once both ladies in his life were fast asleep he quietly left the room to ring his family and hers also. He rang his own parents first.

"Hey mum, it's a girl." He beamed down the phone.

—————

@fizzy-custard

@lairdofbrochtuarach

[jihoonscafe]

❧ x.mh | quiet

foreign exchange! minghao/ the8 + reader

word count : 1639 words. genre : angst but like ,, depressing kind synopsis : he was quiet, always quiet, and the one who could make him smile, was too busy smiling because of someone else.

✐ jsahfskdhfds im sorry minghao stans brb. djshf i know i keep promising to write fluff here but damn ur girl ain’t deliverin im sorry !! i will try to post a fluff one soon aksdhfsdfg (maybe with a specific tall nerd n mornings tsk tsk no spoilers). grab some cleenex but not too much bcuz u will feel bad for the boy ?? but guilty for (most probs) lovin that jun action.

Everything was quiet.

It was the way he liked it, after all there were no chattering students speaking in much too rapid English for his poor ears and much too stressed swearing for his soft heart. He had always been a home-schooled child, who went to college, free-spirited and happy, and was asked to take part in a foreign exchange.

His father, forever talking about character development, had instantly approved of this idea and had signed up poor old Minghao for it before he could raise a voice of objection, and in only a few months of extreme English classes and explanations on American culture and ways of lifestyle, he had been flown off miles away from the only place he had ever called home.

He was a dancer, from the very roots of his soul, and if everywhere his recessant shy personality and stuttering english scared people away from a too long conversation, nothing could scare him as he danced. It was the universal language of the body, the one which held the grace and eloquence of the most sophisticated words one could find in a dictionary, like the one in his backpack for bad situations.

As his program was about dance, he was to train with a group of Asian-American choreographers, and find out how the cultures and the styles of dance meshed, learning how they learned and how they held themselves as they danced.

He stood in the place where this very practice was held, a classy building in the middle of the town’s hotspots, in a floor of thousands little gray studios, cool from the incessant air conditioning and the ambiance of how he had always imagined the inside of a dance studio would look like.

It was so different.

Back home, his second and true home had always been the small dance studio, only a few blocks from his college, with the ugly yellow wallpaper and weathered wooden floor which made this place look beautiful aesthetically. But at home, there was the old woman who always greeted him warmly with her smile and gave him snacks on nights he slept there, and there were the walls of that place, though not aesthetic, held so many of his firsts, held so many precious memories.

His first kiss had been against that wall, his first dance injury had been from the wall, his first breakdown had been by the wall. The walls had taken his blood, sweat and tears over the years.

They made this place look like the ice palace Elsa makes in Frozen. Cold, and unwelcoming, as if made of pure ice.

No one smiles at him here, but then again nobody even looks at him enough to flash him a smile.

Well, except you.

You, who danced with the more experienced choreographers at the studio, and who often made choreographies which featured in the dance channel the studio shared. You, who was warm and kind, who smiled at him, and everybody else around you and made the ice around him thaw with that melting crinkle of your eyes as you laughed.

You, who he admires so much, for the fluidity of the way you moved and the poise you held as you walked, for the kindness to each, the way you even took him and talked to him even if he couldn’t speak that fiery English you were famous for, the way you even learned the slightest bit of Chinese to greet him comfortably in the mornings and reserved those dazzling smiles for him when he came in, feeling grey.

You, who never makes him feel quiet.

You, who looks at his mentor like he was the stars, unaware that they actually resided permanently in your eyes, and often twinkled when you laughed at one of those horrible puns which he would never understand.

His mentor, also known as, Wen Junhui, the only one in the studio who Minghao had seen swear in such rapid Mandarin after a wrong step that even he had been confused as to what exactly had been the jumble of inappropriate words which fell from his mouth.

Minghao had met him on his second month here, when all the dancers had gotten over their excitement of foreign exchange students with too much sun and a natural blush to their warm skins, and he had been lonely for the first time in quite a bit of time. Back home, he had never been shy because he had had those friends ever since he had come out of the womb and thus their friendship was natural, no introductions needed when the age of awkwardness had hit him.

When he moved, he had things to say but because he wasn’t confident in his English to that point, he avoided it and chewed on his lips, swallowing any words other than his introductions, and basic nods and refusals.

He had so much to say, so many jokes he knew would make people laugh, would make you laugh, but because he was never sure how you would feel when he would say it, he shut up inside himself.

Jun had been the one teaching the choreography then to the males of the group before they headed in for the duet with the girls, since the dance was to a duet song and him and you had been the ones to choreograph it, like always. The ones with the best flow together, he had heard people say and while it killed him to say it because of the little crush he had developed on you over the weeks, but it was utterly true. You both danced like twin fires, bringing such life to a performance, it became from art to masterpiece.

Minghao was stuck on the last move, which was where he would hold the girl while making eyecontact, and while his hands were easy because it was mindless touching when it came to dance, eye to eye contact was rarely forgotten and it made him flustered beyond belief, so much so that Jun told him he could try it with him once to see if it was better then.

That led to Minghao bursting out into laughter as he held Jun, who chuckled at the boy’s shy antics before ruffling his hair and telling him he was the cutest of the bunch .. in Chinese which made Minghao blush before slipping himself back into the group, only one thought rampant in his mind.

He knew why you liked the boy, he was so .. alive.

So the dance began and Minghao watched as Jun and you took the stage, the soft tune of the romance song playing in the background and the people in the room seemed to collectively coo at the gentleness of Jun’s touch on your waist, and the way you both smiled at each other, like the other held the answers to the world’s biggest test.

It had been then that he had realised two things, that he had a major crush on you.

And that you adored Wen Junhui more than anything.

The very thought had hurt him then.

But now, as he sat on the roof of the building, his feet dangling off the side, swinging gently from side to side as if they had no energy to move, as if they were feeling the lethargy of the city down below which had not yet woken up to feel the sunlight rain upon it, he, for once, was not quiet.

Instead, he sang a small song, an old Chinese lullaby his mother had once hummed to him when he was but a child, when he hadn’t woken up in the morning. The tune had always made him smile, and even now he did. The words flowed off his tongue naturally, a calm tune produced from his slender throat, as his tears silently fell from his dark eyes.

This lullaby now held another side to the coin, like he had always believed everything did, nothing had only one side to it, every thing or person or being had a good side and a bad side, and it seemed like his dear tune from the depths of his memories had its own crushing bad side.

Only the night before, when his limbs had ached and he had almost fell to crumble on the ground rather than go back to his gloomy dorms, which were never the different colour from this place anways, he had heard it, the lullaby, quietly float out from one of the practice rooms, and when he had been close to crying from feeling his homesickness eat away at him from the sound of something his dearest mother would sing to him, he realised whose voice it was.

Crawling as sneakily as he could have with his malfunctioning limbs, he had peeked into the nearest lit room and saw Jun sitting against the mirror, singing the lullaby quietly, to you, who lay with your head on his thighs, eyes drooping as he smiled and leaned down to give you the softest kiss on your forehead, as if he was touching the sweetest of flowers.

Minghao’s fingers had loosened their hold on the railing which was holding him up and he had scrambled to his feet, running as fast as his legs could take him until he was looking at the stars again, and that is where he slept and woke up under the only thing which could connect him back home, the sky, and the stars which you stole away from it inside your eyes, the ones which reflected in Jun’s love-glazed eyes as he kissed you.

As the tune died out into the sound of the first cars of the day starting up and beginning to run on the streets, his wet eyes fluttered shut.

He was quiet once again.

[worlds--avenged]

Professor Tom: Chapter 10

Summary: This wasn’t the first time a student had fallen for him. Hell, it wasn’t the first time this year. But something etched deep in his bones told him that she was different. Surely there could be no harm in talking to her after class… Right?

Previous Next

A/N: Two. Months. Two goddamn months i’ve been neglecting this fic. I’m so sorry, y’all, time just got away from me I guess. Anyways, here’s a bit of backstory on Seb and Tom’s relationship. As always, don’t like, don’t read. 

CHAPTER WARNINGS: Drug use, alcohol use, mentions of sex, just a bunch of gay shit tbh

He seemed so fucking cool at the time. His carefree attitude, his apparent dominance over any room, his high alcohol tolerance. Mostly the latter, though the former didn’t go without notice. This was when he had his beard, hiding his round cheeks that rarely saw any attention more than the occasional blush. Even the way he snorted white lines was so elegantly masculine. Glamorous, even.

He’d heard whispers about him around the campus, despite only being there for a matter of weeks-- the prototypical bad boy. Bad for you, bad for himself, bad for everyone that got in his way. He was a hurricane, an earthquake, a tsunami, something so naturally catastrophic that you just couldn’t tear your eyes away from the destruction in its wake. Sebastian was the reason why the kids called it “tearing up the dance floor”, because on the off occasion he didn’t put cherry bombs in the toilets or down an entire bottle of Ciroc (the Ciroc was water) on a whim and smash the empty bottle on his skull, he would dance on any lukewarm body with a pulse and a hole in it until the sun came up. Then he would accompany the body to bed. And thus the cycle continued.

So when an invitation to a recent graduate’s party slipped under the door while Tom was finishing one of his short stories, he didn’t hesitate. He wanted to see what all the fuss was about with the man.

Poor Tom wasn’t ready when he crossed paths with Hurricane Seb.

He’d read plenty on how beautiful destruction was, written false words about the broken and the damned, but Sebastian’s damask lips on another girl’s neck was the personification of every tragic character he’d pretended to know anything about.

The only thing he had wished he’d done different was find his muse sooner.

He forgot the details-- what cologne he was wearing, how he styled his hair, what outfit he threw together to make him look like a proper college student and not an infant, but he could never forget the first time he laid eyes on Sebastian.

Tom knew it was him the moment he heard the drunken shouts of the partygoers. He didn’t hear a name, he didn’t see Sebastian, didn’t get an introduction from one of his three friends. But he knew that the figure bent over the table couldn’t be anyone but the asshole that dragged his curiosity there in the first place.

Tom caught Seb’s eye in the moment his head lifted from a plate of ten clean lines of cocaine. Seb wiped the residue off of his nose, downed the rest of what could have been peach schnapps in hooch (he was too blacked out to care), and walked over to the shy, little twink he just couldn’t take his eyes off of.

Boundaries were odd. It didn’t occur to Sebastian that he was resting most of his body weight onto the nerd pressed into the corner until Tom stumbled and Sebastian fell against the peeling wallpaper. Apparently college students didn’t have a penchant for interior design. Flurries of words strung themselves into a sentence, and somehow Seb managed to open his mouth and get the words out.

“What the fuck is a kid like you doing here?” Seb’s words quaked with intoxication, but his voice was still strong and Tom struggled to find an adequate response.

“I-I’m not a kid, actually. I’m a student.” Sebastian cocked an eyebrow and chuckled, taking another swig out of his plastic cup, god knew what number drink he was on. He mustered all the sobriety he could and put one neuron next to another and spark up a conversation.

“I see. You new? I haven’t seen you around. Freshmen don’t usually come to parties this early in the year unless they’re being hazed.” Sebastian’s eyes darkened and he bent down to whisper into Tom’s ear. Tom turned bright red and was reminded exactly as to why he was so intrigued with the man in the first place. Because he was hot.

“And you don’t seem like the fraternal type.” The words came out of his mouth so easily and with so much sober stability that Tom wondered if he had even consumed any alcohol. But Tom caught a whiff of his breath that said otherwise. Tequila and something sour that he couldn’t quite place. Even with the white powder dotting his beard and his eyes foggy and red from the alcohol, he had a gravitas to him that Tom couldn’t ignore. An irresistible charm that pulled everyone closer to him like a fucking magnet. Or maybe that was just his dick talking.

Tom tried to play it cool, nursing a small sip of his drink and trying to string together  somewhat coherent sentence. But considering who he was talking to, that was a tall order.

“I’m here for an assignment,” He said simply. Sebastian grinned like the cat that ate the canary and Tom felt an urge to explain himself. “English. I’m, uh, writing.”

Seb glanced at Tom with an unintended urgency that forced Tom to look away. He felt like an idiot. And Tom was the farthest thing from an idiot. The next shock came when Sebastian clapped him on the shoulder and doubled over laughing. A belly laugh, like Santa Claus in the Coca-Cola commercials.

“I meant what are you doing in this corner, dude. You should be having fun!” Sebastian insisted. He spread his arms in front of the throngs of sweaty bodies plastered to each other, grinding to a song he didn’t know. Sebastian rested an elbow on Tom and used his shoulder as an armrest. If it had been anyone else, he would have protested. But this was Sebastian and Sebastian did what he wanted and who he wanted when he wanted to. So Tom let him. Sebastian snapped his wrist flippantly and leaned in closer, as if there was anyone in his vicinity that could have heard them.

“There are a million horny girls here waiting for some dick.” Tom’s body stayed still right where it was. But every muscle, every nerve ending in him froze at the mention of sex. Tom wasn’t exactly proud of his track record with fuckbuddies, but discussing it so brazenly and so casually was uncharted territory for him.

It had occurred to him that the conversation would eventually go in that direction, but it throws him for a loop when Sebastian brings it up after barely talking to him for two minutes. But he could only be so surprised, considering that Sebastian was the one who had sauntered over to him and struck up a conversation in the first place.

“Or guys, y’know, whatever you’re into,” He shrugged and downed the rest of his beer, throwing the cup over his shoulder as a thin stream of liquid dribbled out of the corner of his mouth. He reached out a hand. “I’m Seb.” Tom felt a sudden urge to impress the man. He stood up a bit straighter, as if that would help his tiny frame against the ox of a man in front of him.

“I know,” Tom followed his lead and gulped what was left in his cup, crushing it in his hand before dropping it to the ground. Tom quickly found himself losing the upper ground as he felt the effects of alcohol overtake his body. He held on to Seb’s hand for a bit longer than what would be considered a purely orientational handshake. Sebastian looked at him expectantly and Tom suddenly forgot how to hold a regular conversation when Seb met his eyes. Words, Tom. He reminded himself. Formulate words.

But Seb’s breath was 40 proof and his smile was warm and despite being the most popular person at the party, he had decided to take pity on Tom and leave his friends for a conversation with a nobody. So it was no surprise that the shock started talking when Tom’s voice dropped and he uttered, “I don’t know what I am.”

Seb chuckled. “Well, right now, you’re with me. And that’s the only label that matters to any of these posers, anyways.” Sebastian throws an arm over his shoulder and it wasn’t just the alcohol that made Tom’s knees quake when Seb pulled him closer and steered him into the kitchen.

“Let’s get you drunk and see how many people you’ve fucked by the morning. Correct me if I’m wrong, but by my count, you’ve fucked zero people. Now, what if we gave you a shot of...” Suddenly, like magic, there was a drink in Seb’s hand. Then, it was against Tom’s lips. Then, it was being forced down his throat, burning.

(I was gonna end it there but because i’m a terrible author and i haven’t updated in an age...)

And then there was black. A few flashes of memories run through his head. Naked skin pressed against him. Music thumping in his chest with a rubber band beat. The heat. The sweat. And, of course, Sebastian. His grin, his drunken cheers, his fierce pride that had roped Tom in in the first place. But when Tom reached across the bed to search for him, he found the space unoccupied. He was just grasping at empty sheets. His eyes opened slowly, and he instantly regretted letting the afternoon light pierce through his brain the minute he blinked.He groaned and turned his back to the window, burying his face in a pillow that definitely wasn’t his own. Actually, the bed wasn’t his either. And his window at Uni was on a completely different wall. And there was no way his bed back in his dorm was this comfortable. Panic sets in quickly when he realizes how out of place he his. His body stays rigid in the bed out of fear that moving a muscle would trigger any number of hangover symptoms. The terror takes over and he sits up in bed to find himself completely naked and covered in a thin sheen of dried sweat. A wave of nausea hits him like a mallet to the temple and it takes all his might to suppress the urge to run to the bathroom and empty his guts of the poison he ingested the night earlier. He turns to the bedside table to search for his phone, but all he found was a little sign that read, “Welcome to Motel 6!” and the name of a town he didn’t recognize. The door to the bathroom swings open and Tom jumps at the movement. Sebastian stands in the door frame, wrapped in a towel, his hair wet from the shower. He chuckles at Tom’s weakened state and even the comparably quiet noise makes Tom wince.

“You look like shit.” He said simply. Tom rubbed his eyes.

“Feel like it.” Sebastian dries his hair and tosses the towel on the bed.

“Wash up. We have an appointment.”

[etoilesdephan]

Brave on like the stars

Summary: How cruelly beautiful is the universe. Through childhood, two children, into the adulthood, a single man with a torn heart.

TRIGGER WARNING: Major character death. 

Word count: 3.6k

Read it on ao3!

A/N: THIS IS UNEDITED WORK. Mostly because I actually cried while writing this and I couldn't bear going back to edit it. I'm sorry, maybe I will edit someday.I have no excuse for writing this.

======

“Phiiiiiiiilllll,” The child's voice yelled as the little boy, still stumbling over his feet a little, ran across the room and jumped onto the older boy who fell back with the weight of another body colliding with his. They tumbled, laughing, on the ground, and the two mothers looked at them fondly as the two-year-old Dan pressed a sloppy kiss on six-year-old Phil's cheek only causing Phil to flail.

“I love you, Phil!” Dan announced, the voice high and happy and he squealed when the older boy pulled him in for a hug before starting to tickle the younger boy.

The happiness was all around them, and they remained sunny.

======

“Did you know that stars are really really, really far away?” Phil asked and there was a wonder in Dan's dark eyes as they looked up at the rare clear sky through Phil's bedroom window.

“But they look so close, almost as if,” Dan went on his tiptoes, reaching a hand up, touching the window pane “I could touch them, if I was tall enough.”

“No, they are very far away!” Phil spoke, the equal shine in nine-year-old's eyes, his arms reaching out to help Dan onto the table where the younger boy leaned against the closed window. “They are further away than London!”

That made Dan giggle “Silly, even my grandmama lives further than that!”

Phil laughed to that, leaning on his elbows against the table and rested his chin in open palms while looking up on the faint twinkles in the sky.

======

“Hey honey, how was school?” His mother, soft as ever, asked when Dan dropped his bag next to the kitchen counter and pulled himself onto the seat.

“Phil doesn't talk to me,” Tears welled up in his eyes, though he squirmed trying to keep them from falling.

“Oh, Bear, I'm sure he was just busy,” His mum, wrapping her arms around the ten-year-old, hugged him close and assured.

Dan just sniffled in her apron.

======

“Hey nerd, what are you scribbling there again,” A shadows of a guy much taller than him hovered over Dan and he hunched over his notebook, trying to hide the words scratched on it in Dan's poor handwriting. He didn't want to let the bullies close to his work again, and he was just hoping that one of the teachers would step in to stop them from stealing his work again.

“Come on, don't tell me you've become a mute now, too,” He felt a shove, and was about to jump up and leave when someone grabbed his notebook, trying to pry it out of his grasp.

“That's mine!” He tried to sound angry but there were tears lining his voice and it only made the bully and the nearby friends laugh.

“Oi, leave him be, Gee,” A familiar, pleasant baritone, voice suddenly interrupted and instantly the laughter died down and Dan used the chance to pull the notebook out of Gee's hands, quickly stuffing it into his backpack that he then held close to his chest.

A familiar boy, much taller now than Dan, walked up to them, interrupting the circle of people that were trapping Dan to the cafeteria seat. Even more familiar hand settled on Dan's shoulder and he dared to look up through the long gangs of hair covering his face.

Phil was so tall, so grown up and so much more menacing than the rest, considering his height. Though he was quite scrawny while at it, there was enough authority in that stance to shoo away the offenders. “Forgot he was your bitch, Lester,” One of them sneered while leaving and Dan felt the grip on his shoulder tighten almost enough to hurt, but he bit his lip to not cry out.

“Are you alright?” Phil turned to him, when the bullies had disappeared from their sight, and Dan nodded, head hung low, avoiding to look the older boy in the eyes.

“Hey, come on, look at me,” Prompted by the words Dan looked up and was struck by that soft, wide smile that Phil was regarding him with.

“I'll make sure they don't bother you anymore, alright?”

He nodded.

Phil was so grown up, and so cooler, yet took time to look out for Dan, and it was quietly to himself that Dan was fearing the next year when Phil will be done with high school and Dan would be left alone.

“You want to come over today?” The offer was unexpected, and Dan blinked at the older boy, full of surprise “Mum's been asking about you, and I got a new documentary on space that I think you would enjoy!''

Everything about Dan wanted to be mean and refuse, to say that he didn't want to accept the pity. Why now after pretty much ignoring him for most of last four years?

Yet, what he found himself saying was the opposite.

“I'd love to.”

======

“This is amazing, Dan!” The exclamation made Dan flush a bright red and he looked away from the boy seated across him at the cafe.

“If you finish this, you could easily get published!” Phil went on and Dan brought the cup of coffee up to his face, partially to take a sip and partially to hide the beetroot redness of his cheeks.

“It's not that good...” He tried to interject but nearly spilled his coffee when Phil reached out to hold his hand up, halting Dan from speaking.

“I'm studying English and none of the works of anyone there have been as rich and vivid as yours. I mean it, finish this and you'll be swooped up by the best of publishers in no time!” And when Dan looked into those determined blue eyes, he believed it.

======

“Congratulations!!!” Dan grinned widely at his excited friend and threw his arms around Phil in return when the taller boy pulled him into an embrace.

“It's just high school, you spork, not that big of an achievement,” He was laughing but gladly leaned in when he felt his body squeezed gently in the hug. He pressed his face against Phil's shoulder and inhaled. The familiarity filled him with warmth and he only grinned more widely when they parted, Phil's hands still on Dan's shoulders.

“I hope you don't have any plans tonight,” Phil announced, but there was a questioning quality in the words and Dan just rolled his eyes at him.

“Yeah, like I'm the one to crave partying with my graduation class, getting wasted soooooo much.”

“Come on, Dan, this is the last time you'll see them all, I just want to make sure that I'm not taking that away from you,” It was so sincere that Dan's heart melted a little and any sarcasm that had formed on his lips vanished like cotton candy.

“What do I tell my parents, when should they expect me home?”

The way Phil grinned made Dan the happiest person even in the crowd of cheers.

======

“Can you believe that the universe is so huge?” Phil asked, his voice hushed as the two of them sat, pressed up close to each other under the blanket as they sat on the hood of the old car that Phil drove. The sky was clear for once, again, and so they settled in the small parking lot. Only the remains of a small bonfire were left, only stars and the crescent of the moon lighting up their world.

“We're so insignificant in the whole of the universe,” Dan murmured back, leaning his head on Phil's shoulder.

“But that's the brilliance of it, we brave on and achieve, though there's only so much that we can touch with our actions. Just look at our sun, it's so small in the grand scheme of things but it's given us the chance to live,” Phil's voice, though hushed was full of excitement and Dan closed his eyes, listening to it, allowing the pleasant timbre to run through the entirety of his being. Absentmindedly he reached out for Phil's hand and his heart was in flight when their fingers entwined in a perfect match.

“It's so beautiful,“ His lips formed the words, a realisation that they had been born through the vision of Phil and settled in Dan's soul “We exist, despite the odds and the meaninglessness.”

“It's beautiful,” Phil mirrored, and Dan felt a thumb run over his knuckles gently “To be able to exist at the same time.”

Silence settled between the two and Dan felt the little shift of the other man as if it was his own.

He felt eyes on himself, but didn't dare to open his, afraid that it would pull him out of the beauty of the moment.

“Dan,” It was spoken as softly as the most tender silk and he looked up finally, their eyes meeting. There was a question in Phil's and an answer in Dan's, and their hearts beat joyously when Phil leaned in, their lips brushing together lightly. It was a silent moment, and Dan let it sink in before leaning in again, warmth of mouths mixing together and breaths short and needy.

When they finally pulled apart, Dan leaned his head back on Phil's shoulder

Their fingers remained entwined comfortably.

======

“So tell us, what inspired you to write “Orion Nebula” series?” The interviewer questioned, while patting the back of Dan's third and final book of the series.

He leaned in to the microphone, the big headphones on his head bulky but he found comfort in the closed space interview at the radio; he'd never enjoyed the ones where he got filmed. He never knew what to do with his hands and would constantly fidget. Here, he was just a voice and he knew how to be a pleasant spokesperson “I have to give all the credit to my fiance, Phil, who has always encouraged me to keep writing and,” He looked down at his hand, where the engagement ring was shining shamelessly on his finger “Who has always nurtured my interest in the cosmos.”

“I heard about the engagement, congratulations,” The interviewer added and Dan nodded, a soft thank you returned.

“Now when can we expect the film adaptation of the series, I've heard that several studios have been interested in taking on the project.”

“Well...”

======

“He's in the hospital, Dan,” His heart was beating hard and his whole body felt numb, as he looked at his mother, but every word that came from her mouth felt like a foreign language “He got into an accident, and it doesn't look good.''

He swallowed and numbly brought the phone out of his pocket. He wanted to text Phil but after opening the conversation, he was left staring at the last few messages, where a simple ''good luck!'' remained as the last thing he'd received.

“Bring me to him?” Finally, he turned to his mum, and she nodded, her eyes red-rimmed but more than anything concerned by the peace that Dan was displaying.

======

“Forasmuch as it hath pleased Almighty God of his great mercy to take unto himself the soul of our dear brother here departed, we therefore commit his body to the ground; earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust--” The prayer continued but Dan could barely hear it.

His eyes were locked onto the casket as it was slowly covered in dirt, and with the body of his love, his heart was buried, too.

The accident had been fatal. It was in mere hours that the hope had been reduced to dust, blown away by the wind and departed with the soul of the one and only.

His hand shook as he released the handful of dark soil and the rattle against the wood were like tiny stabs to his torn heart. They fell, grain by grain, as needles against the bleeding wound, and with every each of them, his throat would close up more and more till it hurt too much to swallow and the tears silently fell from his eyes, no end to the currents.

“Farewell, my love,” He wanted to say, but the words never rolled off his lips, for he still wasn't willing to let him go. It was too soon, and it was not fair. He wanted to scream, and burrow under the soil as well.

He felt hands of his mother on his shoulders when he slunk down to his knees at the foot of the fresh grave.

======

“This is darker than your older series, but it is good,” His editor assured him and Dan merely nodded, sitting across the woman at her office, looking down at the manuscript of his newest book. It had taken a long time, far too long, in fact, but it was done and it was as good as he could make it.

Everything he had felt was poured into the pages, his blood pitch black ink and the roughness of the paper his calloused fingertips.

“I will have to run it by spell check and here are some notes of revision,” Dan accepted the printed manuscript, idly beginning to leave through it to see the red markings and the woman kept going on about how it could be published within a month if they would find satisfactory publishing contract quickly.

“Look at that, fourth book, isn't that wonderful,” He mumbled to himself when he returned home, and dropped the manuscript onto the table, the force scattering the notes that had been piled on the edge of the table, some of the papers falling onto the ground while others settled on the keyboard of his computer.

He paid them no mind.

A house was not a home, and though he was surrounded by everything one would want, he felt homeless and naked, thrown into the world mercilessly. A laughing stock of pity, a broken soul leaking through the cracks.

“Chinese food sounds nice,” He continued on talking, grabbing the menu advertisement from the coffee table and browsing it as he sat on the right side of the sofa, where the crease had become more prominent as the moths had bled into a year and more. Yet he never touched onto the left side. It was not his side, and though it was just him alone who owned the apartment, he felt the dual ownership still reigning over the place.

He didn't want it any other way.

“Isn't that strange that I can't seem to move on?” He asked to the empty space besides him as he flipped through the channels, nothing catching his attention “How is it that we're built to such insignificance yet we leave such huge marks still?”

With frustration of nothing interesting on, he dropped the remote, leaving a random tv show playing in the background as he picked up the food when it arrived. The two boxes stood on his counter and he looked down at them for a silent moment before grabbing one and leaving the other behind.

“I think you really would have liked this,” Dan eyed the manuscript across the room, sticking food into his mouth in between his words, his gaze absent, but if he tried hard enough, it felt like maybe he would hear him again. That maybe that calming baritone will suddenly ring in his ears and wake him up from life.

That maybe he would be released early too, so he could fulfil the promised forever finally.

======

“I know it's here,” He pushed the books around in the shelf, frustration building up in his chest cavity, as the year had bled into two, and third was coming around.

The sofa crease had grown. The fifth book freshly printed and placed next to the other four on his table was a reminder of the passing time. The clutter grew, but there were some things he never intended to get rid of.

“Where the hell did you put it?!” Dan cussed at himself, angling his body to reach behind the busy line of books to search for his old notebook.

“Huh?” His fingers touched a mushed, worn out back of a book, and curiosity got the best of him. Carefully, he pulled it out.

The paperback was worn, well-loved with how many times it had been read. The pages smelled of dust now, and had begun yellowing more, the little nicks and folds giving it years that it didn't truly have yet.

Gently, he ran the fingers over it.

It was the first release of his first book. And it was one of Phil's most treasured items. Dan remembered finding Phil with his nose buried into it over and over again and every time Dan would blush, and tell him off, mention how there's another part and how the first book was a lot more terribly written than the others.

Phil had always looked up with a bright smile and that same lively excitement as ever “I want to know it by heart, so when I make a movie of it, it's perfect!”

Film production had become Phil's passion, and so many dreams had been formed around it.

Dreams that never came to be.

Dreams that Dan had tried to keep alive and Phil's private, when he had turned down every offer of producing a film adaptation to Orion Nebula.

Slowly, Dan opened up the cover of the book, not sure what he wanted to find in it, and briefly seeing his own cheesy handwritten thank you note to Phil before a small envelope fell out from between the pages, landing next to Dan's feet.

He looked down at it, the blank envelope not disclosing its contents to him. It laid there, inviting him to pick it up.

Slowly, he kneeled, and picked it up, the book closed and stuffed under his arm as he looked at it for a while, his heart racing and fingers trembling as he turned it around. A single folded piece of paper was peeking out from it and for a moment he wanted to stick the envelope back into the book and hide it forever.

Yet, he allowed his fingers to reach out and tug out the paper. It was fine, like written for something special, and when Dan finally unfolded it, he gasped and sat down.

The messy handwriting was familiar still, and the way there was so much effort put into it made him remember the times Phil would sit just in this same room, hunched over his own idea notebooks, trying to figure out the best way to adapt a story into film.

“Dan,

I never thought that this day would come that I would truly be allowed to call you mine. Through years that passed, so many mistakes were made and at times I thought you were lost for me forever.

Yet here we stand, and you are mine just as much I am yours.

How rare and beautiful this alignment of the world is. How the universe has given me my existence at the same time with your own. How it may mean we will spend long nights just eating Chinese food and watching silly shows. How I get to see you create the most wondrous things in your stories. How you let me kiss you in the mornings though you are still grumpy with sleep.

How I have given the chance to love you through the rest of my lifeline.

I promise you, not just with this ring, but with every fibre of my being to love you till my last breath, and though our scepticism of afterlife is real, I know that the stardust we are made of will for the eternity be drawn to yours. I will forever be by your side even when it seems like I am not and I will love you beyond the existence of this eternity.

I know you don't like getting cheesy, and you know I dislike it as well, but just this once, let me express my deepest fondness for everything that makes you.

The sloppy kisses that I've been blessed to be on the receiving end of.

The messy curly hair when you really get into your work, when your beautiful mind is racing.

The lithe fingers that bring words into the existence.

That foul mouth that will find the most sarcastic comments yet I'll always know the true meaning behind them.

Those beautiful brown eyes in which I seek the love and wonder and always find it.

Your heart that beats in the rhythm of my own, and even if life is short and I may be gone soon, it will brave on like the stars themselves in the vast unknown.

Your soul that will expand with the lives you create and those you'll save, because to write miracles is to save so many.

Your being, that I will be forever thankful for, because I would not be who I am without you.

Daniel Howell, thank you for granting me this time with you, and know I'll cherish you forever.

I love you.”

A wet droplet landed on the paper and Dan quickly wiped it away, afraid that the salty tears would eat away the ink.

To brave on like the stars in the universe. He had promised to do that so many times, but never had thought about the time closing in so quickly that he would have to fulfil his promise.

“I love you too, Phil,” He murmured as he looked down at the wedding vows through bleary eyes.

A dull star, he was, but he had promised.

And to continue on he would.