#which I think is beautiful. death with no acknowledgement at all of everything she did

[fated-normal-767]

She’s so fucking . Far removed from what most people could consider moral that I think the only way to write her would be like ,,,, yknow the Edgar Allen Poe story about the guy who killed his roommate cause he had this weird eye ? Yeah she needs to be like that level of fucked in the head . I think .

But also . Her doing it with startling awareness and knowing every step of the way what she’s doing is fucked but not stopping, never stopping, is just so . Okay wait actually . Now I’m thinking about her monologue being almost normal for most scenes but having an underlying layer of rot that’s only revealed when . Okay ask cancelled there’s actually so many interesting ways to write her . I’m in love with her in the way a morgue loves a corpse .

YES‼️‼️‼️ she’s not having her judgement clouded by any kind of disorder she’s literally just a common or garden sadist who found out she can get away with it easy as pie if she’s rich. and then she did that. and no law enforcement Ever got involved so she was left till her own devices till known freak ares usotsuki decided to do something about it. Cutting her hands off wasn’t his first plan though, his first plan was just to scare her off, but she wanted revenge and ended up without . hands.

[aashi-heartfilia]

What MaoMao feels for Jinshi...

(Vol 5 epilogue discussion)

Love, duh. She wouldn't let just anyone choke her to death. Isn't it obvious? She just doesn't realise it yet because of her repressed emotions. I've seen a lot of bad takes and people hating on the Vol 5 epilogue, saying it's one heck of a disaster but honestly, it's not. Here's why:

I think it does a very good job of humanizing Jinshi, the imperial brother. Before this point, we were always given a picture perfect image of Jinshi, in his most angelic form...but after seeing this, it looks like he's very much capable of murder, lol. No seriously!

Previously, Jinshi was always all sunshine and roses and this is the first time we see a pinnacle of his anger and frustration taking a form.

Honestly, anyone would be angry. Jinshi has done so much for MaoMao and almost everyone close to him knows that he has eyes on her and only her from pretty early on in the series and only MaoMao is the one person who seems to be in the dark. Or more precisely pretending to be in the dark.

She is literally running away from her own feelings and that's what made Jinshi so frustrated.

It was the same thing in the 'Frogging chapter' (yeah, that's what we're calling it). She was "playing the role of an ignorant maid who's in the dark as to what her supiriors are upto". Jinshi was trying to tell MaoMao that he is the imperial brother and he does in fact like her but that never happened because MaoMao kept pretending that it was a frog.

Same here, even if he didn't say it outright, he was dropping so many hints! Who else could have gifted MaoMao a Moon hairpin? Who would have given her beautiful dresses to wear in the banquet?

Jinshi is called the Moon Prince for a reason and that hairpin had a moon and opium poppy. even other people recognised that it was given by him to MaoMao like Rishu's half sister, so a smartass person like Mao should be able to guess that this was all from Jinshi.

The same person who's busy day and night made preparations for her, only to see some unknown random person dancing with her and kissing her hand.

He was jealous and it's only human.

In fact, I'm glad that he's not a complete saint.

He was mad at MaoMao for pretending to be in the dark when he has gone to great lengths to take care of her, and he was hurt that the same person would even suggest him to marry someone else, i.e. consort Rishu.

He was trying to tell her how he feels, and she wasn't even willing to acknowledge anything that is between them.

Adding to the fact, she knew the thing between Basen and Rishu and yet she chose to turn a blind eye, to the love that could blossom between them and suggested her name to Jinshi. It was wrong on so many levels because MaoMao knew everything and yet chose to give the most political suggestion she could think of.

Maybe because of her repressed emotions, she herself has become heartless while making decisions but just like a double edged sword, it has consequences.

So it was a mixture of anger, hurt and jealousy for Jinshi.

And he wanted MaoMao to feel the same.

The same amount of frustration he has felt as MaoMao keeps running away, just because it would be a little troublesome.

Yeah, he's shitty just like that, and so is she.

(and we love them for it ❤️)

Does it justify what he did? No. But it seems like MaoMao herself doesn't even mind it that much. She looked like well within her comfort zone. Otherwise, we know how capable she is of defending herself. But she was there, pretty much sitting with Jinshi until she dominated him completely and made her escape.

Guess they're both far from the vanilla couple that are usually expected in these kinds of series and I absolutely love it.

She was just mad he didn't poison her instead, like he promised her, to which he replied he would NEVER let her poison herself (because he also loves her a lot too, duh)

This entire scene looks more like a battle for sexual dominance, which MaoMao won.

She always has, since the very first day he saw the real her ❤️

[mediumgayitalian]

“Death Breath! Hey! Wait up!”

Nico bolts. He makes it about ten feet away from his cabin door before Will and his stupid long legs catch up with him, throwing an arm over his shoulder and then immediately tripping over his own foot and sending them both sprawling.

“I hate you,” Nico groans, curling up on the grass.

It’s too early for any of this. He was just trying to get back at Cecil for covering everything he owned in aluminum foil last week — and then he was going to go right the hell back to bed.

He knew he should have fucking shadow travelled.

“Aw, c’mon. You love me.”

Nico pretends to gag. The only thing he gets is Will’s crossed arms and raised eyebrow, so he doubles down and really starts to retch. Whatever. It’s eight thirty in the morning. He fell asleep at five. Rational thinking is a distant, distant memory.

“Whenever you’re done.”

“I will be sick at the thought for the next eight weeks,” Nico informs him. For dramatic effect, he looks up at Will’s face — which he cant even see, since the sun’s in his eyes — and shudders.

“You know, you have a genuine, beautiful talent for the dramatic arts, the likes of which I have never seen. Are you sure you’re not secretly an Apollo kid?”

I better not be, ‘cause then all the staring I do at your calves would be real weird, he thinks to himself, then considers whether he can convince Kayla to give him a lobotomy. He thinks she might like the opportunity.

“Piss off,” he says instead of that, artfully schooling his face into the aristocratic mask he’s perfected from his father, squaring his shoulders and looking at Will like he’s a pebble lodged in the flesh of his heel.

Will rolls his eyes. “Get up, Sharpay Evans. You’re gonna stain your shirt worse than you already have.”

Nico sniffs haughtily. “My shirt is perfectly fine, thank you very much. I order them in black for a reason.”

He notices a giant grass stain on the side when he stands. He ignores it. Will does not.

“Yeah, ‘cause you’re the Goth King.”

“Ghost King.”

“Right, right. That helps your case.”

Nico shoves him, fighting back a grin. “Whatever, Solace. What are you bothering me for?”

“Oh, yeah!”

Nico is a deeply cheesy person. Down to the core of him, past all the sarcasm and prickliness and trauma, or whatever, he’s made of fucking mozzarella, because what business does he have comparing Will’s eyes to the morning winter sky? Huh? That’s embarrassing. It isn’t even original. If Nico caught anyone saying shit like that out loud in real life, he’s collapse into the shadows from embarrassment. He needs electroshock therapy.

“I was thinking —”

“Rare,” Nico quips, just to watch Will’s eyebrow twitch. It does. Nico smiles.

“I was thinking,” he repeats, mocking glare in Nico’s direction, “that you and me go to the city this afternoon.”

“You chased me across camp for that?”

“Oh, please, Zombie Face. I chased you maybe twenty yards.”

“I think all that time sniffing rubbing alcohol has deteriorated your brain.”

“I think I’m going to shove you in the lake.”

“Feel free to try. You will not wake up the next morning.”

“Nah.” Will shoots him a smug smile. Nico trips over air. “I can be as annoying as I want and you still won’t kill me. I have impunity.”

Nico rolls his eyes, refusing to dignify that with an answer. The less he acknowledges his own shame, the more likely it will go away on its own. Probably.

“Anyways. Guess what Cecil told me today.”

“His last will and testament?” Nico guesses, suddenly remembering his reason for being up this early.

“No, no, not that.” Will pauses. “Well, I mean, he did. I passed it on to Chiron. He has requested that when you maul him, you avoid his face, because he wants to be a sexy corpse and he can’t do that if you destroy his prettiest features.”

“Noted. Please inform him I will come for him within a window of the next fifteen hours.”

Theres a very particular face Will makes when he finds something genuinely funny. A smile a little more crooked than his regular one, teeth working at his bottom lip to hold it back, left dimple appearing in his cheek. It makes Nico want to do stupid things like press his thumb into said divot. He instead shoves his hands deeply into his pockets.

“I’ll let him know.” He clears his throat. “Anyways. You know what day it is today?”

Nico squints. “Tues…day? No, Wednesday.” He glances at Will. It’s been maybe….three days since their weekly sleepover? No, fuck, four. He thinks. “Thursday. Final answer.”

“Monday,” Will corrects, “and, gods, you need to sleep more. And a calendar. But no, that’s not my point.”

“Feel free to get to it.”

“It’s Valentine’s Day,” Will finally explains. He tries for exasperated, but it doesn’t work — he’s clearly excited, bouncing on the balls of his feet and waving his hands. “And The Five Seasons is doing half off for couples, so you and I need to go!”

He waves his hands, as if tying off some grand reveal. His (blue blue blue blue) eyes are squeezed nearly shut by the force of his beam, which lessons slightly with every second Nico does not respond.

“William,” he says finally. He opens his mouth, then closes it again. “William.”

Will pouts. “What?”

“Explain how this is relevant to me, William.”

“Aw, c’mon, Nico! Don’t be difficult!”

“William,” stresses Nico again. “We are not a couple. Did you hit your head again?”

“Well, duh, Neeks, it’s about the scam!” He flaps his hand in a way Nico assumes is meant to convey something. “We’re gonna — eat! Cheap! By pretending to be a couple!” Now both hands are flopping, paired with wide, imploring eyes. “Obviously!”

“Obviously,” Nico repeats, slowly. He instructs one half of his brain to keep its focus on not melting into a puddle of blushing embarrassed goo, and the other to exercise restraint and not strangle the boy in front of him. A headache begins to press behind his eyes. “Will, what the shit.”

“You of all people!” Will throws his hands up. “You love scamming people! You hate corporate holidays! You frequently throw pebbles at people who look, and I quote, too obnoxiously happy! You’re the best hater I know! You should be on board!”

He makes a compelling point. Not that Nico is going to make that easy for him.

“You seem very invested in this,” Nico points out. He manages to keep his voice tastefully judgmental, which he’s very proud of.

“Of course I am! I want cheap Five Seasons food, godsdammit!” He pauses, switching tactics. “Nico,” he says softly. He puts a gently hand on Nico’s forearm, making him freeze. He is suddenly very, very close, and wow, did his hair always frame his face in gentle waves? Has that always been a thing? “I really, really want to scam a restaurant with you.” He smiles, small and crooked and gods, Will doesn’t look dangerous very often, but holy Hades when he does — “Will you make my Valentines, and scam a restaurant with me?”

His fingers begin to trace little circles in the inside of Nico’s wrist.

“Yes,” he squeaks, voice cracking.

“Yes!” Will cheers, pulling his fist. “Yes, hell yes, Nico! We are going to scam the shit out of this restaurant! Half off for couples? How about half off for heathens! Free money, baby! Fuck yeah!”

He turns back towards Nico, smile still wide and radiant, blinking eyes pools of sparkling excitement. Nico’s knees go a little weak. “I’ll come get you at 2! Thank you, Neeks!”

He runs off back to his cabin, only tripping twice. Nico watches him go, feeling a little like he’s tripping, too, with all the swooping his stomach is doing.

“Dude,” he mumbles to himself, shaking his head. “Be normal. Christo.”

It takes him ten straight minutes to get back to his cabin, even though he’s standing at the porch.

———

The obsidian handle of the Hades’ cabin door rattles.

“Neeks!” calls a voice behind the door, “you ready to go?”

“Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.” Nico scrambles over to the mirror and stares at himself. He turns a little to the left. He scowls. “Shit!” Tugging the shirt off, he turns back to his closet, tossing the piece of clothing to join the rest of its brethren on the floor. “Shitfuck. Fuckshit. Shit.”

“Nico!”

“Coming!”

Tapping his foot rapidly, he looks harder, as if that will magically make the right shirt pop into existence, perfectly pressed, on a hanger. “Shit.”

“What could possibly be taking so long? You’ve had two hours!”

“I care about my appearance, Mr Flip Flops and Scrubs!”

“Bleh bleh! Hurry up!”

Nico bites his lip. It shouldn’t matter. It doesn’t, really. Five Seasons is not actually a fancy restaurant. He and Will just like to joke that it is, because it has tablecloths. They’ve gone there dozens of times before; they stop every time they’re in the city for supply runs or visits to Olympus or to harass their summer-only friends at school. There is literally no reason for Nico to be stressing about what stupid shirt he should wear. Gods know Will is wearing cargo shorts.

“Nico!”

“I’m coming!“

Scowling, he digs through the pile of discarded clothes until he finds the first shirt he’d put on — a dark green button up that was given to him, along with a bunch of other fancy clothes he never wears, by the Aphrodite cabin. He hastily shoves their buttons through their holes, cursing when he mixes them up and has to start over, and sprints over to the mirror to inspect himself.

The shirt looks good. It’s a little tight on the arms, which he suspects was on purpose, and the colour compliments his skin nicely. The buttons are a dark, shiny brown that match his eyes. They pair nice with his simple jeans and black vans, casual enough that he doesn’t look like he’s going to Prom, or anything stupid like that, but dressy enough that it looks like he put effort in. He runs his fingers through his hair, trying to make the staticky strands sit right, but gives up pretty quickly. It’s okay if one thing is a little messy, right?

“Finally,” huffs Will as the door swings open. He glances Nico up and down, then grins. “You look great.”

Nico was right. He is indeed wearing cargo shorts, although to his credit they are his one pair without various Head Medic stains. His sweater, too, is a pretty blue, V-necked, long-sleeved, and a completely different style than his shorts. It clashes horribly. His shoes are, for some reason, bright solid pink. Nico suspects Hecate magic. His hair is braided in two French braids, his favourite way to wear it. Nico believes he is also wearing a touch of sparkly eyeshadow.

“You look dorky.”

Will grins wider. “Thank you! I wouldn’t let anyone help me choose something.”

“You should have.”

“I wanted it to be authentic, Nico. Also, got something for you.” From behind his back, he pulls out a handful of daisies, black dirt clinging to their roots, like he plucked them straight from the ground. Nico is inexplicably endeared by the image, and prays the smile on his face is less soft than he knows it is.

“You got me flowers?”

“Well, duh, Avril Lavigne. We gotta sell the scam.”

Nico brings them close to his face and inhales deeply. They smell fresh and earthy and sweet.

“That’s a stupid reason to bring someone flowers.”

“Give them back, then.”

“No. Fuck off. They’re mine.”

Will’s eyes twinkle. “Okay.” He holds out his arm. “Ready to go?”

The jump is close enough that Nico can convince him to shadow travel, and not just because he sadistically looks forward to the shade of green Will’s face will get after. As dangerous as he knows it can be, he misses it, sometimes. There’s something comforting about it, something soothing and familiar. Shadow travelling to the restaurant eases any lingering nerves.

“If you’re gonna throw up, do it somewhere I can’t hear you,” he says as they materialize in an alley.

Will’s cheeks puff out. “I’m gonna do it on your fuckin’ shoes.”

“I will leave your ass here, Solace, I swear to the gods.” Despite his grumbling, he rests a cool hand on the back of Will’s neck until he’s recovered. “Good?”

“Yeah.” He straightens, dusting off his sweater. “Let’s go.”

Nico follows him down the alley and onto the street, elbowing past the crowd of pedestrians until they approach the familiar glass doors. He rolls his eyes fondly every time Will apologizes to someone.

“You need to be meaner.”

Will sticks his tongue out and tries to trip him. Unfortunately, he only manages to throw himself off balance, nearly crashing to the floor of Nico hadn’t caught him.

“Good gods, Solace.”

“That was your fault!”

“Yeah, yeah.”

The doors of the restaurant are absolutely plastered in cheesy red hearts and bows and cartoon kisses. And, as promised, a giant sign promising couples a fifty percent discount on their meals.

“My love,” says Will dramatically, holding out a hand, “shall we?”

Nico sighs, resting his hand delicately in Will’s. It sparks with electricity, like it always does. “I suppose.”

“Party pooper.”

“I’m not hearing oh, Nico, thank you so much for doing this incredibly stupid thing with me, you are my dearest friend and I owe you one. Or three, for some reason.”

Will’s mouth twitches. “Oh, Nico, thank you so much for —”

Nico shoves him, laughing. “Shut up.”

They’re seated pretty quickly, server smiling when they take notice of their clasped hands. Will orders chicken tenders, like he does every single time without fail, and water. Nico orders from the adult menu and absolutely does not make any kind of show about it.

“There is nothing babyish about chicken tendies.”

“Oh, of course not.”

“Is this about you having a credit card? That does not make you more adult than me. It makes you a nepo baby.”

“Mhm. Sure thing.”

“Nobody likes a nepo baby, Nico.”

“Look, I think your drink comes with a complimentary sippy cup.”

Teasing and joking with Will is so easy that Nico forgets the core of their mission. The pink garlands hanging from the ceiling fade into the background — he’s too busy crying with laughter when Will nearly chokes to death on a french fry, too busy flicking a forkful of food at his shoulder just to make him shriek, too busy kicking his shin under the table. He catches Nico’s foot between his the fourth time he tries it, keeping it trapped for the rest of the meal. Nico finds he doesn’t mind.

“And your bill,” says their server when they’re done, setting down a slip of paper. “Forgive me if I’m being presumptuous, but do you two qualify for today’s discount?”

Will smirks widely. “We do,” he says, with no small amount of pleasure. He shoots Nico the least subtle wink of all time. Nico rolls his eyes, cheeks going a little pink.

“Great! You guys have a wonderful Valentine’s day.”

“You, too.”

The server hurries away, turning to their other tables. Will’s smile is wide and smug.

“I knew it would work.”

“Duh. Easiest scam in the world, Solace.”

He sticks his tongue out. “And thus the best payout. You’re welcome.”

“Blah, blah. Gimme the bill.”

“Um, no way, di Angelo. I’m paying.”

He opens his wallet before Nico can stop him, mouthing as he counts the bills.

“What? No! I’m paying.”

“Are not.”

“Am too!”

“Are not.” He sets down a couple twenties. Nico snatches them right back up. “You we’re just complaining about my credit card!”

“Exactly. Thus my need to continue to pretend you don’t have one, so we can continue our friendship.”

“Solace, I swear to the gods.”

“di Angelo, I swear to the gods.”

Nico stares him down. Will stares back. He doesn’t even try to hide his lazy grin, his laughing eyes.

“You’re not paying for this by yourself,” Nico says firmly. “You don’t have a job. My father invented being rich.”

“Sure, but I made you come with me.”

“Ugh!” Nico throws his hands up, imagining how satisfying it would be to wrap his hands around that long neck (followed by his teeth and his tongue and his —). “Why are you impossible? I would’ve gone with you no matter what, stupid!”

As soon as he says it he wants to stick his head in wet cement. For a brief second, something like surprise flits across Will’s face, before he schools it back into his teasing smirk.

“Well, obviously, Death Breath. I’m excellent company.”

“You’re literally the most annoying person I know.”

“And yet here you are, hanging out with me, of your own volition.”

“…I’m paying next time.”

Will grins. “Whatever you say.”

They walk around the city for a while before heading back to camp. Will says it’s because he needs the air, Nico knows it’s because he wants him to rest a little longer before trying to shadow travel again. He tries not to let himself get all melty inside.

(Nobody willingly hangs out around the city for the ‘air’. He’s a shit liar. Nico should be offended.)

It’s nearing curfew by the time they melt back out from behind Thalia’s tree, extra shadows of early evening making the trip easier.

“Those fries are going to make a reappearance,” Will grimaces.

“Not if you don’t want me to kick you in the face.”

“You’d never.”

He would indeed never. But he would rather pass away than admit it, so.

“C’mon, dot face. It’s getting late. You have a cabin to run.”

“Oh, Nico,” Will says in a breathy falsetto, “are you walkin’ me to my cabin? How chivalrous!”

“Nevermind.”

“No no no no no I’m kidding, I’m kidding!” Nico allows himself to be tugged, weak to Will’s giggles. “Walk me to my cabin. C’mon.”

Sighing, as if he’s so put out, Nico does. Some point in between Thalia’s tree and the amphitheater, Will’s hand slides down from around his wrist to tangled in between his fingers. Coincidentally, his mouth goes dry.

As they approach the Apollo cabin, Will slows to a stop.

“Hey.” He squeezes their fingers together, smile soft in the dying light of dawn. “I had fun today. Thank you for coming with me.”

Nico swallows. One day, those words will be said in a different context, if everything goes well for Nico, and he’s not sure how the hell he’s going to handle it without bursting into flame. “Yeah, well. Anything to scam a restaurant.”

“Right.”

They walk the last few steps to the cabin, rickety porch steps creaking under their feet as they approach the open door. Will doesn’t let go.

“Hey, Nico.”

“…Yeah?”

Quick as a flash, Will leans in and presses the softest of kisses to his mouth. The noise Nico makes is practically punched out of his lungs, spine going rigid in surprise.

“You can pay for our next date, okay?”

He’s gone before Nico can respond, ducking into his cabin with a small smile and closing the door behind him. Nico stands there, like an idiot, for three solid minutes at the very least, distantly aware of the giggles coming through the open window.

His hand comes up, fingers brushing his bottom lip.

“The little fucker set me up.”

Valentine’s day scam. Please. The only scam today was the scam of Will’s sneaky asking.

Nico smiles.

“You’re a mess, Solace!” he shouts, knowing damn well Will is listening.

He’s right. “Goodnight, Nico!”

Shaking his head, Nico runs back to his cabin, entire body tingling and cheeks aching with his grin.

[obliviouskara]

top 5 supergirl episodes?

full disclosure i haven't seen the entirety of supergirl (ive literally only seen like 7 eps & its all season 1) so this list will probably change over time (bc im starting to painstakingly watch the show - imagine slowburn but watching a series) however ive watched like a ridiculous amount of supercorp edits so im going to base my choices on the parts where supercorp exist ha!

5. Season 1 - Red Faced

this would probably be the only none supercorp related yet still somehow my personal fave for a few reasons. i love this scene in particular bc it shows that cat grant cares for kara and what cat says here is very relatable. no matter how harsh cat can be at times, cat was a girl's girl here. she gave an advice which was helpful to both supergirl and kara. she had every right to rip kara viciously apart but instead she took a completely different route. i like the line she says here.

"You really need to figure out what's really bothering you." "You really need to find that anger behind the anger. And you really need to figure out what's really making you mad."

i think this was also the ep where kara acknowledged where some of the anger was coming from. even with zero dialogue and with mel's incredible acting skills she was able to convey so much emotions during that scene where she releases all her anger towards the red tornato. From losing her parents, losing her planet —her home, for losing everything and maybe even angry with her parents for the choices they made for her. it was such an incredible and very emotional scene.

im putting the rest in read more bc of how unnecessarily long this post has become

4. Season 2 - "The Adventures of Supergirl"

this should be easy. this was the first time kara met lena and changed the trajectory of every queer person watching this show and lena first delivered the first of many many questionably fruity (gay) lines fjlkajdla

"You couldn't have fooled me."

also bc of this scene thank you very much

3. Season 2 - "Luthors"

if there is one particular scene that convinced me to even give supergirl the time of day its obvs this one and lena "suspiciously straight" luthor delivered one of the most iconic lines on television in my opinion and now forever engraved in my mind. let's not forget lcorp CEO lena luthor took the time of day to fill catco employee kara danver's office with flowers like it's a regular tuesday but oh well

"now you'll have someone to stand up for you. always" "supergirl might have saved me but kara danvers, you are my hero."

screaming, crying, throwing up

2. Season 2 - "Exodus"

tada! i mean, look at it! how heroic! i also find it funny how grateful and confused lena was that kara danvers was having coffee with supergirl late at night but still

Season 2 - Ace Reporter

so this isnt at all groundbreaking bc honestly, 5 isn't enough and anything that has supercorp will be my favorite even though again i havent seen the rest of supergirl yet but we're ignoring canon so we're ignoring that fact too. i think this was the ep where kara was comforting lean about jack's death. i personally have a love and hate relationship towards this scene for many reasons but im a sucker for supercorp and there was a clip where kara hesitated and looked like she was about to plant a kiss on lena's head but then hugged her instead and i think its beautiful and im a sucker for kara leaning in towards lena

BONUS:

im too lazy to figure out where these clips are from which episode but this. i love every scene and its more like these below are my reasons for watching supergirl and has nothing to do with being my top 5 bwahaha

oh did i mention i also happen to have a weird obsession with superrojas i will not rest until i reach the ep where andrea rojas exist

[queenshelby]

Forbidden Desire (Part Four)

Pairing: Thomas Shelby x Reader (Female/Incestuous)

Warnings: Incest (at this stage accidental), Age Gap, PTSD, Domestic Abuse, Self-Harm, Fluff, Mild Smut

Words: 5,456

Summary:

This plays after Grace’s death but before Tommy becomes a politician. Lizzie is pregnant with Tommy’s child, so it is somewhere around season four.

In this fic, Tommy suffers from episodes of PTSD and so does the reader, resulting from trauma and abuse. They will help and save each other without realising that their connection is much stronger than they could have anticipated.

There will be love, fluff and smut as well as a highly taboo relationship.

PLEASE COMMENT AND ENGAGE!

QUESTION: WHO IS TOMMY TO THE READER? WHOOPS!

YOUR POV

The following day, you again, arrived at the gambling den on time only to find out that Tommy was not there and neither were any of his brothers.

Polly and Michael too were absent from the den that day and the only person who barged in at around 9 o’clock was a woman by the name of Linda.

She was blonde and beautiful, with lovely curls and hypnotic eyes. She appeared stressed however and when you introduced yourself to her, she chuckled.

“I know who you are. My husband told me about you this morning” the woman then said and you queried her.

“Your husband?” you asked, not knowing who she was married to.

“Arthur Shelby. He is my husband and I believe that, last night, you met him, at the state library” Linda explained before sitting down and looking through the betting book.

“Yes, I did. He seemed nice” you acknowledged before thinking back to last night which is when Arthur, who happened to be Tommy’s oldest brother, came to find him. He too was in a panic last night, telling Tommy that he found someone they have been looking for. An acquaintance of some sort and, with that, Tommy had to leave rather abruptly.

Leaving you with his car and the key to the library, Tommy said goodbye without a kiss and it was almost like he did not want his brother to know about the fact that he took a liking in you.

Why this was the case, you did not know but, somehow, it was bothering you. You felt as though he was embarrassed by the way he had met you, in less than ideal circumstances and, the idea of Tommy being ashamed of you, was stuck in your head for the entire night.

You got no sleep whatsoever and needed to know the true nature behind Tommy’s intensions. Why was he so afraid of showing his feelings towards you in front of others? Was this just a game to him? Something to kill his boredom with perhaps?

“Y/N” you then suddenly heard Linda as, clearly, you were daydreaming and thinking too much about last night.

“Yes Linda” you responded almost reluctantly.

“Are you alright taking some bets today? Because we will be on our own until 3 o’clock” she then said and you realised that she must have asked you this very same question just seconds ago to which, clearly, you had failed to respond.

“Yes, I can take bets. You may just need to help me write them down. I am okay with numbers, but complex words are a different story” you admitted to her before asking where everyone was.

“There was an incident last night, near the docks in Camden Town” Linda told you but this did not really answer your question.

“What sort of incident?” you thus asked but Linda shrug her shoulders.

“Business I suppose” Linda said. “My husband never really tells me everything but, what I know is that Tommy was shot last night and this is why he isn’t here today. Lizzie cancelled all of his meetings” Linda explained and your chin dropped while fear began to overwhelm you.

“Oh my god Linda. You need to tell me what happened to Tommy” you demanded, but Linda did not, immediately, answer your question.

“So it is true what Lizzie said. You have taken a liking in Tommy” Linda observed instead. “My oh my, little one. You know you don’t stand a chance, right? Tommy is not a man who is faithful. Despite, he is marrying Lizzie, so…” Linda then went on to say but you did not care and repeated your question.

“Linda, is Tommy okay?” you asked again, to which, finally, you received an answer.

“Yes. He is fine. It is not the first time he got shot and the man who shot him is now laying in a ditch somewhere. My husband made sure of that” Linda told him while you were quick to reach for your coat, causing Linda to ask where you were going.

“I need to see him” you told her, causing Linda to roll her eyes.

“No, you don’t. What you need to do is to help me run this office. Tommy will be just fine” Linda said sternly before making an observation. “You have no idea what Tommy does, do you?” she then asked but the question was a rhetorical one. “He may be my brother in law, but he is not a good man” she furthermore said. “It is because of Tommy that my husband is acting the way he does. He had found God after having been jailed for his crimes, but now he is back carrying our Tommy’s dirty work. It’s appalling and you should stay away from him” Linda finally mentioned to you but this was not all she had to say.

“I know about you. I know about your stepfather too. Tommy is looking for him’” Linda revealed and you gasped momentarily in response.

“What are you talking about?” you wanted to know, seeing that you were not aware of any business Tommy had with your stepfather.

“You think that Tommy chose you out of kindness or love?” Linda chuckled after realising how oblivious you were. “Lizzie is right. You are naïve. Your stepfather has a gambling debt with Shelby Company Limited and went into hiding after using a false identity to steal from Tommy’s family business. Tommy wants to recover the debt and make him pay for stealing from him. This is why he needs you” Linda then told you and it all started to make sense now.

Tommy did not like you. He was using you. This was all you were to him.

“I need to go Linda” you then told her as you were trying hard to hold back your tears. You were feeling betrayed and upset by what Linda had told you and, even though you still could not be sure about Tommy’s true intentions towards you, you were almost certain that you were nothing but a means to an end. 

To be continued…

Please comment and engage. I love getting comments and predictions pretty please!

Tommy Shelby Tag List:

@fastfan

@elenavampire21

@dolllol2405

@allie131313

@cilliansangel

@coldbastille

@kpopgirlbtssvt

@cdej6

@kathrinemelissa

@landlockedmermaid77

@crazymar15

@damedomino  

@lauren-raines-x

@miss-bunny19

@skinny-bitch-juice

@odorinana

@cloudofdisney

@weepingstudentfishhorse

@allexiiisss

@geminiwolves

@letsstarsfalling

@ysmmsy

@chlorrox

@tommyshelbypb

@chocolatehalo

@music-lover911

@desperate-and-broken

@mysticaldeanvoidhorse

@peaky-cillian

@lelestrangerandunusualdeetz

@december16-1991

@captivatedbycillianmurphy

@romanogersendgame

@randomfangirl2718

@missymurphy1985

@peakyscillian

@lilymurphy03

@deefigs

@theflamecrystal

@livinginfantaxy

@rosey1981

@hanster1998

@fairypitou

@zozeebo

@kasaikawa

@littleweirdoalien

@sad-huffle-nerd

@theflamecrystal

@0ghostwriter0

@stylescanbeatmyback

@1-800-peakyblinders

@datewithgianni

@momoneymolife

@mcntsee

@janelongxox

@basiclassy

@chaotic-bean-of-smolness

@margoo0

@vhscillian

@crazymar15

@im-constantly-fangirling

@namelesslosers

@littlewhiterose

@ttzamara

@cilleveryone

@peaky-cillian

@severewobblerlightdragon

@dolllol2405

@pkab

@babaohhhriley

@littleweirdoalien

@alreadybroken-ts

@masteroperator

@stevie75

@shabzy96

@rainbow12346

@obsessedwithfandomsx

@geeksareunique

@laysalespoir

@paigem00

@lkarls

@vamp-army

@luckystarme

@myjumper

@gxorg

@eline-1806

@goldenharrysworld

@cristinagronk16

@stylesofloki

@faatxma

@slut-for-matt-murdock

@tpwkstiles

@myjumper

@cloudofdisney

@look-at-the-soul

@smellyzcat

@kittycatcait219

@theliterarybeldam

@layazul

@lyn07

@kagilmore

@50svibes

@mainstreetlilly

@ourthatgirlabby

@bitchwhytho

@takethee

@registerednursejackie

@sofi128

@mrkdvidal1989

@minxsblog

@heidimoreton

@laylasbunbunny

@laylasbunbunny

@queenshelby

@camilleholland89

@forgottenpeakywriter

@vintagecherryt

@indierockgirrl

@mrkdvidal1989

@bluesongbird

@dudde-44

@gasolinesavages

@kissforvoid

@bluebird592

@1eugenia1isabella1

@esposadomdp

@lulunalua23

@lovelace42

@bookklover23

@iwantmyredvelvetcupcake

@moonmaiden1996

@marlenamallowan

@cyphah (cannot tag)

@majesticcmey

@cleverzonkwombatsludge

@throughgoeshamilton

@alessioayla

@elenavampire21

@justforfiction

@cilliansangel

@alannielaraye (cannot tag)

@satellitelh

@simplyreading96

@idledream​s

@vic-top​

[anaslair]

Hiii, I wanted to give the match ups a try cause why not. I go by she/her and prefer to be matched with a male character, I’m also underaged. Oh and I’d prefer to be a demigod, personally I think I’d be the daughter of Hestia or maybeee Hephaestus or Apollo, idrk 😭. Anywaysss, about me. I loveee music/art/film, really anything creative, like I have a deep appreciation for them and artists. I actually used to go to a performing arts school. I also love nature and appreciate that as well. Like, I love going on hikes when I can and even just looking at the beauty of the nature wherever I am. I’m not really much of a sports person, like I love playing but I wouldn’t do anything professionally. I do martial arts though, which is definitely a biggg passion of mine. As a person, although it doesn’t necessarily feel like it to me, sometimes I’m pretty sure I’m fairly outgoing, at least more than other people I know. But I’m also the type of person to really open up and become more social and talkative the more you get to know me. Oh and final thing, I think I’m pretty books smart but not very streets smart, if you know what I mean. 😀 Anywayssss thanks for reading all of this if you did, it’d be really cool to hear back from you!! 🫶🫶

OKAY HEAR ME OUT!! HEAR ME OUT ON THIS ONE!!!!!!!!!!!

So, it’s not that well known, but Hestia is actually one of the virgin godesses of Olympus (like Artemis and Athena). But!!! We COULD pretend she has kids like Athena does 👀 ✨just because she wants to✨

Like, Athena’s kids come from her mind… maybe Hestia’s could come from her heart? Like figuratively maybe? She’s the goddess of hearth & home so it could kind of make sense? Pls bear with me this will go rlly well with who I’m matching you with so let’s just go with it 🤓

Also the nature thing UGHHH, I always had this head cannon that Percy became a bit of a nature activist after witnessing Pan’s death 😩😩😩 Anyway let’s get to it, I really hope you like this 🫶

Tysm for requesting!!! Have a great day <3

I match you with…

Percy Jackson!!

-Disclaimer-

The requester is a minor and so is Percy at this stage of the books!!

After the second titan war ended, Percy started to value some things way more than he did before it all went down

Not to say he was an ungrateful person, far from it. Percy really did have a heart of gold and often put his loved ones above his own personal needs. Loyalty was his fatal flaw after all

But there was just some things he felt he didn’t pay much attention to before the war, like Hestia for example. The goddess practically lived on camp grounds and he barely even acknowledged her before she saved him when he needed it the most, reminding him what was most important when everything was falling apart during the war

Or Pan. the god of the wild had practically died in front of him, telling him and his friends that the future of nature, of the world they lived in was actually in their hands. Everyone had to do their part for it to survive

He had to pay them back somehow, honor them

So that’s why he was THRILLED when the first Hestia kid arrived on camp after he made the gods promise they would claim all of their kids and send them to camp Half Blood, where all of the gods would have cabins for their descendants

This was his chance to pay back Hestia for her help!! So he promptly asked Chiron to mentor the new girl and teach her what she needed to know about self defense and sword fighting, since she was practically his age and had to survive until now with the mortals without proper training

In fact, how did you manage to do that anyway?

He didn’t really know, but he felt he was the best man for the job. His sword fighting skills were unmatched, only bested by Luke’s

So, not gonna lie. He was kind of waiting to show off his skills on your first lesson and help you with whatever you needed

He told you he would first show you some hand to hand combat moves before y’all could move on to sword fighting, to which you shrugged it out, being cool with it

Too cool even, you seemed super comfortable with it 🧐

“Okay. First, I’ll come at you slowly and you can try and stop the blow however you feel is right. This will be kind of a warm up to start things off. But don’t worry, I won’t actually hurt you, if you feel uncomfortable in any way, please let me know okay?” He said, smiling kindly at you while taking an offensive stance

You nodded, waiting for him to start

He slowly swung at you, being careful to not scare you out

Imagine how completely and utterly bamboozled he was when he found himself lying on the ground, the arm he swung at you now twisted and pressed on to his back, just enough to keep him on the ground

He was like 🧍‍♂️

And you were like 😄 so what’s next?

Bro what the fuck

That was honestly so impressive that when you offered a hand to help him get back to his feet, his cheeks where slightly flushed

He cleaned his throat, fixing his camp Half Blood necklace back into place

“Okay so I guess you’ve got that part covered” He said, giving you his signature sarcastic smirk

You let out a small laugh in response, explaining to him that you actually loved martial arts and that stuff came easy to you

He was completely fascinated, asking you to help him better his hand to hand combat skills after you guys finished

That was the start of a kind of chaotic friendship between the two of you. You helped him better himself in your area while he gave you sword fighting lessons

You weren’t really a fan of it but Percy was so talented and so patient while teaching you that you were winning sparring duels in no time

Y’all were a power duo in capture the flag for sure. You knocked people out and Percy wouldn’t let anyone get even slightly near you with riptide

You knew some strategies in theory from some books you had read and Percy knew how to put them into action

Iconic

You quickly developed a strong bond, getting closer and closer to each other every day

You always ranted to him about art in general, he didn’t really understand most of the things you told him but he always listened attentively, even memorizing some of your favorite artists to get you stuff related to them when he went home for the school year

You often hanged out by the lake, you absolutely loved how it looked when the sun hit it just right, with the trees reflected on it

One time, Percy took you to the bottom of it, putting an air bubble around you both so you could see how beautiful it was underwater

Your eyes shone bright at the view, but you frowned as soon as you saw a couple of plastic wrappers at the bottom

You asked Percy to lower the bubble so you could collect them and properly throw them out at the surface

That made Percy stare at you with such intensity and admiration that you wondered just what the hell you had done to get him looking at you like that

You avoided his eyes, ears tinted red

It was no secret that you had developed feelings for him, he was so sweet and kind

You wondered if he felt the same

Suddenly, his warm hand met yours as he slowly interlaced your fingers together

You looked at him, eyes wide

The smile on his face made his intentions pretty clear

[helloheyhihowdyheya]

Hey Abby, happy Sunday! 🥰 I’m not sure if you’re taking requests right now but if you are I’d (please) love fem reader x rooster or hangman. Maybe after training doesn’t go so well she barges into the hard deck (in front of everyone) and demands one of them fuck her right this second 👀

Hi! Thank you so much for the request ❤️ I actually don’t write smut, but I hope you still enjoy this! My first time writing for Hangman :)

Remedy for a Bad Day

Hangman x fem!reader

Word count: ~1k

Warnings: Suggestiveness. 18+ minors dni

Your bad luck had started early that morning. 

Jake was always flirty with you, making suggestive comments that had your body on the right side of warm. You gave it right back, trying your best to get him to break — not that you were ever successful. Though you couldn’t complain too much, you did love that smirk of his and the fire burning behind his eyes.

But he’d taken it too far today. He wouldn’t stop giving his opinions on everything Maverick was saying. You just put your hand out, silently telling him that you were trying to focus. just made him resort to leaning over and whispering along the curve of your ear.

“Not my fault sweetheart. You’re far too beautiful to focus on anything else,” he said, that drawl of his rolling out thick.

And that got its intended reaction, making you turn to him with wide eyes. “Hangman!” You’d tried shushing him, but it came out louder than you meant — which was made all too clear by Maverick fixing his eyes on the two of you.

“Am I interrupting something?” he asked, eyebrows raised.

Just as you tried to apologize, Jake responded by leaning back and saying, “Nothing more important than your words of wisdom, sir.” The sarcasm dripping from his voice had you dropping your head into your hands.

The embarrassment alone made you think this couldn’t get worse, but you had to bite back a groan when you heard, “Well, I hope you both take bathroom duty more seriously, because you’re on it for the week.” 

You waited for Maverick to turn away so you could raise your middle finger to Hangman.

The bad mood followed you on your run during the break, the one you’d started without even acknowledging Hangman after that stunt he pulled. Sweat beaded across your skin, but you just focused on putting one foot in front of the other. Your lungs were on fire, your heart beating out of your chest under the hot California sun. It helped rid your mind of the morning… until you felt a wet plop land on your shoulder. 

Your steps stuttered as you looked up, watching as a flock of seagulls flew past — their cawing sounded too much like laughter at you. Instead of returning to the locker room drenched in sweat, you came soaked in water after angrily washing yourself off at the nearest hose.

You’d then gone to training, already wanting the day to be done. But, of course, the universe wasn’t so kind. Maverick’s assignment was running the impossible course for this mission. You knew you were a good pilot, but every misstep meant death — making you slam your hands down on the console as you flew just a second too slow or took a corner too sharp.

Everyone went again and again, each one unsuccessful. Frustration built through your muscles with each failed run, pushing you to your limit. He eventually let the team go, saying they’d pick it up again tomorrow, but his words put a bitter taste in your mouth.

It fogged your brain, begging you to make a million bad choices. Normally, you might’ve tried to go on another run, but as you walked back to your room much later than everyone else, you could hear the distant sound of seagulls flying overhead.

Instead, you gritted your teeth, feeling a headache beginning to form behind your eyes. It continued to pulse as you showered alone, the rest of the team already gone out. But as the water already began to turn ice cold and set your body on edge, you needed to release the tension pooling in your core. 

And Hangman owed you a favor.

So you got dressed, broke most of the speed limits, and pushed open the doors to The Hard Deck. Through the chaos of the crowd and loud music, you still found the tall blond with ease.

“Hangman!” you shouted, staring him down. His head immediately shot up to look at you, and that was the first time you’d ever seen him taken aback.

“Come here,” you commanded, curling your finger toward yourself. The slight frown with his scrunched eyebrows was certainly cute, but you loved the smirk that followed your words.

It only took a second before he moved, his long legs sauntering over to you. “Yes, ma’am.” 

On any other day, you might’ve had second thoughts, but not today. Not when he looked at you like that.

You met him halfway, energy coursing through you and into your hands as you grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. You pulled him close until your breaths were mixing, the intoxicating scent of him filling your mind. That alone was enough to get you addicted, but you needed more. And Hangman was happy to close the distance, his lips molding to yours.

His hand wrapped around your back, bringing your body flush to his. You felt the tip of his tongue against your mouth and savored the groan in the back of his throat when you let him in.

Distantly, you heard hollering and whistles, but you could barely hear over the blood rushing through your ears. You only pulled away to catch your breath, staring into his darkened eyes.

“Wanna get outta here?” you whispered against him.

His teasing smile made your cheeks heat up, your mind turning to mush as he repeated, “Yes, ma’am.”

Pulling him by the collar, you turned back and made your way out of The Hard Deck. Glancing back, you saw Hangman salute your team as they cheered him on. You shook your head, ready to forget about the day… or anything besides his name.

[yloiseconeillants]

MAYNCIENT :: Day 10 - Promise

"I told you I'd be back for them."

Mnemosyne (angel) belongs to @hermits-hovel. The explanation of this sequence got *very* long so I'm putting it under a cut but MASSIVE ARIADNE LORE DUMP LMAO

Amaurotine social conventions discourage the expression of extreme emotions, which could make the processing of things like grief and alienation difficult when there isn't a cultural framework to acknowledge those feelings in the first place. Ariadne, who lost her brother, Midas, in an accident, has a very difficult time adjusting to his loss - most Amaurotines have only experienced death through the deliberate choice of returning to the Star, which is universally considered a beautiful and respectable event. This disconnection between the grief that Ariadne felt at his passing was at odds with the pride that she was expected to show, and she withdrew from almost every aspect of her life - stopped going to theatre rehearsals, barely showed up to her classes, avoided her friends and loved ones (there was a fairly dramatic breakup with Hades at this point after he refused to fetch her brother from the Aetherial Sea - he didn't understand why she felt so despondent about Midas' death which. Boy howdy does that become a Plot Point Later) (he did try to help but he absolutely was not equipped to do so).

Over time and with the very patient help of her mentor, Halmarut, she slowly rejoined society after graduating by taking on a student-teacher job at Halmarut's personal request. She still wasn't fully comfortable being open with other people after her withdrawal and instead developed a sort of party-girl persona to interact with others. As long as she was having Fun, she didn't have to think about everything she had lost in the meantime. She met the rest of her eventual friends and lovers in the GAP at this point, starting with Timoria, who she first met in a bathroom at a party while she was crying and Mori and Ari's woo-girl energy fed off each other as they navigated Amaurot.

Of course, new interpersonal relationships and dynamics means More Feelings and Ariadne still hadn't really ever stopped grieving so she ends up easily overwhelmed by her emotions, which caused her to act out in erratic and sometimes self-destructive ways, including the ever-green clown daughter favorite Causing Problems on Purpose. When the inevitable consequences of these actions backfire on her in small or less small ways, she tries to drown them out by escalating the FUN and attempting to block out her own memories to get through the day, first by narcotics and when that doesn't work, she pressures her friend Mnemosyne, whose literal job is preserving memories, into the experimental field of removing memories. She isn't necessarily just banking sad memories, but anything that causes her to feel what she determines is Too Many Feelings.

(yes we're doing a self-inflicted eternal sunshine of the spotless mind kind of thing uwu)

Mnemo is uncomfortable with this, as it's not really what he is supposed to be doing with his powers, but Ariadne assures him that she will eventually come back to collect the archived memories, which Mnemo preserves in a crystal he developed for this very purpose. She spends years not coming back for those memories, though, instead compounding the problem by increasingly dropping memories off with Mnemo until it becomes clear to her girlfriend, Minthe, that something is terribly wrong with Ariadne's memory. Minthe confronts Ari about this, and Ari promises that she'll go and fetch the memories from the crystal (we've been affectionately calling it Ariadne's cringe compilation crystal) (there's a playlist).

Going back for the memories had its own issues and inevitable fallout, but Ariadne did try to regain those memories and work through them with her friends - one at a time, based on what she feels she can deal with. She doesn't manage to get all of them back before the End of Days - meaning that there's a memory crystal floating around with some Very Strong Feelings that's a repeated McGuffin through the eras in blorboverse.

ok i did it i wrote up the lore huzzah thank you for reading

bonus: also also this whole thing about her brother dying is why ariadne is obsessed with death and rot and decomposition and amaurot's refusal to acknowledge what is ugly about death thank you i have written enough

[definegodliness]

While I was working up the courage

I dreamt about Ramona, Surprisingly — I hadn't thought about Ramona For, say, twenty years.

I guess that happens As time progresses; you get Haphazardly confronted with Your own, or forlorn empathic Unresolved sadness.

I thought about Ramona today, reminiscing; Memories flowed in, till painting A long ago's Picture perfect scene.

2nd grade highschool Ended, And instead of a school dance We had our very first (supervised) House party.

I remember the overall Pubescent turmoil and confusion, And the slow dancing Looming over the party Like the Sword of Damocles, at least, to me.

I don't know if, to others, this was a big deal; Romanticism is a weird Vulnerability When you're a teen, But I think Ramona agreed; We were the only ones Not dressed Casually.

I can still invoke The pressure amounting; Desires I did not yet fully understand, Piling as longings For heart-stirred moments That had yet to prove less self-evident Than I, as a naive child, had imagined.

It came to a point where I wasn't even sure Whether I actually wanted To dance anymore,

Until Ramona Walked through The door.

She lit up the room Wearing a dress of baby blue That I had only seen on Disney princesses And depicted in picture books That had nourished my nature, As an inborn Hopeless romantic.

This was it.

I remember, this, as the first time I saw a girl as Radiantly beautiful.

Ramona Had made an effort To look perfect, and, to me, she did; I was enchanted, Like I had wanted to be Since Consciousness.

I should've walked up to her, There and then, But I had to work up the courage; Rehearse the phrase,

'Do you want to dance?'

In my head, Over and over and over again.

Which is when I heard the whispers; Gossiping lips uttering ugly phrases About an angel.

Ramona was a slut For wearing makeup.

Ramona was a whore For wearing white pantyhose And open shoes,

Or, by now, For Whatever the prying eyes of the mob Would choose.

I should've walked up to her there and then; I should have just asked Ramona To dance.

But I was too Chicken-shit to go against the grain, And by my cowardice I let an angel Turn

Pariah.

It has taken A dream, and, say, twenty years For me to realize the heartbreaking tragedy That was that evening.

Unresolved sadness, Maybe the universe's itself, for having lost Another butterfly, or some bird of paradise, Designed to make this crooked ugly world A bit more endearing.

It all washes over me, now, in Forlorn empathy.

All she wanted was to look pretty On what could be a nice evening With the premise of all of us slow dancing For the first time, ever.

She looked the part The way a romantic heart would envision Ball room dancing.

It should have been Magic, but it wasn't Magic, If anything,

It was magic's death.

Ramona never wore colour again, She faded black; Sat somewhere at the back of class In the silence of Wanting to disappear.

She had heard Everything Said about her, Cruelly.

And she did not return to school next year.

There's no resolving this age-old sadness, But, perhaps, it found its way back to me For the sole reason that it, still, just wants Someone else To feel, And see, And acknowledge

What magic, that evening, Was murdered.

It exists, solely to instill this wish of mine To go back in time, As there are words The universe needs Written,

So that its truth may finally Also exist,

For what it's worth, sent to the aether:

"Ramona, you are radiantly beautiful; Enchanting... dreamy...

Do you want to Dance?"

--- 4-7-2023, M.A. Tempels ©

[liauditore]

hi i have returned opinions on secret life so far? (also any idea why bigb’s secret animation was different to everyone else’s?) :D

hi hi i have so many Thoughts that i will definitely miss Something but. lots of things. spoilers for ep1 under the cut obvs.

why is every ship getting crumbs. literally all of them. what is wrong with everyone wtf. (except treebark. treebark girlies stay losing)

new mechanic is insanely hype and i am going a little bit feral over it. i've been wanting a UHC-style season for a long time and this seems a great way to kind of. entertainment-fy it i suppose? cus as much as i wanted straight up UHC i can totally understand why players like joel or skizz or scar would struggle hard in that sort of ruleset and it wouldn't be very fun to watch as a result.

i'm a bit.. tentative about the more acknowledgment of the Lore this time around? On one hand i love it and i think it's incredibly cool but on the other hand i know well that lore can eat a series alive if let out of control. Especially when fans start getting pushy about their theories and disappointed when inevitably things aren't as explained or thoroughly confirmed or straight up forgotten. (<-- fnaf fan. i have seen it. it is horrible)

that being said i have trust in grian specifically to handle it well and not go off the deep end with it cus a good chunk of the viewers don't know/care for the lore and if it becomes a Big Thing then a lot of people are gonna end up feeling alienated and confused.

i LOVED Bigb's episode and i think it's like. the ideal way to incorporate lore into a series like this. the way you can Feel that something is off rather than it being explicitly shown. you can choose to write it off or dig deeper. it's good juice. I've mentioned this before but I'll say it again -- Bigb is easily one of the strongest roleplayers on the entire server and his editing REALLY sells it hard. He really melts into what's happening rather than getting up on a platform and shouting THIS PART IS IMPORTANT. LOOK AT ME. which i really appreciate as a kind-of honorary former theatre kid.

but yeah tl;dr i think lore/fan theories should be left to the fandom mainly otherwise it starts getting weird. that being said i trust the life series ppl and can't wait to see what's going on with this season.

now if i may be unhinged myself. i def agree with the theory that Something is up with Bigb's task and maybe whatever gave it to him is trying to mess with the game.

Bigb and Mumbo specifically I felt were acting.. a little OOC the whole episode? Bigb was very much on purpose i think and i reckon mumbo's just excited to be back lol but its fun to think about

the task system has a lot of potential for. fanfic symbolism fuel. i mentioned this on my spam blog i think but something something about the way the players' tasks almost seem to. mock them? a little bit?

like pearl's being to "earn" people's hearts after she failed to make any connections throughout double life and has been somewhat isolated the whole series. bdubs being known for his efficient and beautiful builds being told to make something ugly and useless. scott being implicitly called a parasite with his history of teaming and latching onto one specific person each season. etc. etc.

the teams this time around are looking interesting and i think it's worth noting how it almost feels like.. the opposite of limlife a bit? with how slow and cautious everyone has to play. it seems like over half the server haven't really even joined up with anyone yet which is intriguing. (im personally praying for a scar/jimmy team up. just cus scott said they wouldn't make it lol)

which is great for me cus i loved limlife but the chaoticness of everything did kind of. make deaths less impactful i think? if i see another sky bridge i might scream

im very. of two minds about the scott and impulse team up. because if you dig through my blog you'll see i have kind of a history of being unhinged about those two and their parallels. but i have the sneaking suspicion that their actual dynamic will be like nothing i had in mind lmao

overall i am very excited but trying to control my expectations

also um MUMBO AND LIZZIE ARE BACK AND GEM IS IN THE SERIES AND MUMBO AND LIZZIE AND THUBS ETHUBS ETHUBS ETHUBS ETHUBS--

[fideidefenswhore]

I think the problem with Chapuys is that the ambassadors aren't really seen as "people", if you will, with agency and biases like everyone else, but just disembodied voices narrating the story, and so for a long time historians and writers just accepted reports at face value, because there wasn't "thought" behind it. You should write a book on him as a response to the other one. You've got a lot of interesting observations.

Omg, you're too kind. But thank you ❤️

Yeah, I actually made a similar observation to you, elsewhere, expanded a bit:

Unfortunately, the practice of using Chapuys' dispatches as the emotional blueprint for all these historical people has become rather prevalent. I think he had credible insights at times, but what's sort of forgotten is that while many of his reports are of what these people said and did (according to, a noblewo/man, or Cromwell, or a physician of a nobleman, or a servant of a gentleman, or 'several reliable quarters', or COA or Mary themselves), many others are simply what he's assuming they thought or said or felt, and have no specific incident or quote or source given. One particularly egregious example informed a lot of subsequent portrayals of Thomas & George Boleyn, namely that upon the death of COA in Jan 1536, they "must have said to themselves, what a pity it was that the Princess had not kept her mother company", with the 'must' (ie, speculation, rather than an actual report of what any of his sources claimed to have overheard) omitted.

[To wit]:

"The King’s mistress had from the very beginning resolved that the Princess should act as her train-bearer, and that she would cause her and her mother all manner of annoyances; but considering that her singular beauty, goodness, and virtue, might possibly induce the King to change his purpose, and that if the Princess were to attend Court, and be seen there continually, she might daily gain the hearts and favour of the courtiers, she has not allowed her to come." Jan 1534, Chapuys to Charles V

[Also, literally a month after this report Anne does invite her stepdaughter to court, the first of three recorded attempts, so...awkward.]

Now, as 'resolved' is not 'said' (it's also interesting that his concern seems to have shifted from the report of the year prior, in which making Mary her trainbearer was the least of what Anne threatened: 'I hear she has lately boasted that she will make of the Princess a maid of honour in her household, that she may perhaps give her too much dinner on some occasion [ie, poison], or marry her to some varlet [a low-ranking servant of poor birth, Chapuys would later refer to Mark Smeaton as a 'varlet']), this would be a case of the 'mind reading' I meant; insofar as some explanation as to why Mary was sent to Princess Elizabeth's household, which was a satellite of the the King's court, rather than the centre of everything, the King's court itself. Granted, I think AB fearing her stepdaughter's popularity is more likely, but the likelier explanation overall would be that Mary was not invited to court for the same reason her own household was dissolved; she defied Henry's appointment and determination of her illegitimacy. Youth and beauty and envy thereof was hardly the determinate factor here, considering [...] that Margaret Douglas, of almost identical age and equal in beauty (according to their contemporaries), was one of AB's preeminent ladies and much in favour...the determinate difference was that MD and her mother acknowledged Anne as Queen, and, for obvious reasons, Mary and hers did not. Rich pickings for the narrative trope casting Mary as Snow White and AB as her wicked stepmother, tho......

[m4rs-ex3]

harrow is an incredible character. no not because he's perfect. it's because he's not!!!!

the way that he managed to be an amazing father and have a deeply flawed character in such unison should be a gold standard for writing. he's not "too pure to be a ruler" or whatever; no goofy joke he makes will make up for the fact that he killed avizandum. that he took down the monarch of xadia, a mate and a father, when he hadn't posed as an active threat for years--or ever, really. plus he fully committed to killing zym.

"he had a good reason" did he really? like bro there are a lot of fucking dragons in xadia in the long run killing one won't do shit. he may have made the decision with an angsty smolder but it was still a stupid, impulsive one. and as for the former act, yes, thunder thighs killed sarai (and everyone's favorite lesbians :(), he orphaned three precious innocent babies without a care in the world. avizandum was a ruthless, ignorant motherfucker, on that much i agree (which leads to the discussion of how the humans are humans but xadians are just as prejudiced and pretentious but that's a worship post for another day.) and no, i won't sit here and say that in harrow's position i would be perfectly fucking civil (ronan lynch ref go brr), i'm just stating the facts. ok my interpretation of the facts. tldr he did a shitty thing, but were his intentions good? no. was his heart in the right place? nada. was his hateful homicidal mindset fueled by a reasonable inciting incident? yes yes it was!

(also worthy to mention how much his rule benefited from dark magic. he ultimately made the noble decision to deny it but yk. still)

now believe you me, i recognize that a character who is seemingly perfect turning out to have a dark past isn't exactly revolutionary. but the artistry is in the execution + closure.

from a trope perspective, it really isn't a dark "past." this barbarity occurred literal months before the start of the series, where we see father of the year himself. i just feel that in other shows, the grotesque details of his crimes would use the characters, or at least the framing of the story, to imply that it's so shocking that he would do such a thing and o woe i'll never look at him the same, but it doesn't. which is really what makes his death so impactful.

he's not just a wholesome dad type who is this innocent pure-hearted king. the narrative isn't that his death is such a colossal tragedy cause he was just such a good guy. he's emotional, profound, and righteous, and all of it ends up being a double edged sword!!! because that's how human traits work!!! the narrative doesn't do anything to frame him in any way, it just presents him in full truth. and lo and behold, i don't think there's a single viewer who thinks he is terrible person.

the beauty in his story is that he warranted his own death, and he was willing to acknowledge and accept it more than anyone. he subjected himself to the consequences of his own actions, and the people he influenced most are the ones who see that.

ezran says it all himself: his father, ultimately, was a great king, and an incredible person. but he is strong enough to point out harrow's weaknesses and commit to learning from them.

harrow isn't this shining example of everything a king should be. his death isn't just this unfortunate, harrowing (haa.ha.ahaha) circumstance used to dump a truckload of character-building trauma onto our mcs. it's the first step in the entire journey of the mf show. change. it's the moment where ezran, through all his grief, sees exactly where his path needs to lead to.

harrow fucked up, he knows this, and that's all she wrote. he meant just as much in death as in life, and if that isn't friggin beautiful then i don't know what is.

aagagghh. WRITING ⬆️⬆️⬆️!!!!!!

[pandasan-power]

Zeke is my favourite fictional character. He's just so... fascinating. He's initially presented as weird and mysterious but he turns out to be a giant dork and a huge loser with the most severe daddy issues I've ever seen.

I love him so much. Here's a very long ramble that's kinda sorta a character analysis (it's bad though).

He gives off Reddit mod energy (then again, Eren has Discord mod energy (disclaimer: I love Eren too)), has the sense of humour of a 12 year old, hangs around people who are quite a bit younger than him (granted, his only other option is creepy old military men), has smoked since he was probably like 15 and spends his life "pretending" to be stupid.

And yet he genuinely cares about other people in his own way. He really did just want to make it so that Eldians didn't have to suffer. He assumed that because he had a shit life and was treated terribly (as were his parents), everyone else was in the same boat. It never occured to him that other Eldians were happy, because, like, why would they be?

He's willing to go to the ends of the earth and beyond to fulfill his mission, which he's held on to since he was a teenager. Even though Ksaver did plant the seeds for Zeke, Zeke came up with his plan himself. Ksaver never mentioned anything about reproduction, just that the Founder could be used to alter Eldian biology.

He's devasted when Eren goes "lol jk bro" and betrays him, because he finally found someone he thought he could trust (his first mistake was trusting Eren of all people). He couldn't understand why Eren went against his plan, or what Eren was even trying to accomplish in the first place.

Also, I think it's worth mentioning that Zeke's euthanasia plan undermines everything Ymir Fritz went through. She suffered severely, but I like to imagine that she really did love her daughters to the best of her ability. Zeke saying that Eldians would be better off not existing in the first place and that he's going to get rid of them is telling Ymir Fritz that all her suffering was for absolutely fucking nothing. Whereas Eren wants Eldians to live on, because that way, Ymir can be freed, and she can see that there is beauty in the world (which she did via Mikasa, as badly explained as it was lol).

Zeke never saw that beauty. He was brainwashed and abused and taken advantage of his entire life. By his parents, by Marley (yes, even Ksaver), and, later, by Eren. To him, there was nothing redeeming about the world.

Hence his final line where he talks about what a lovely day it is and how nice/clear the sky is, but that it ultimately is too late to realise that (? I haven't read the chapter in a while, I don't remember the exact wording). That's him acknowledging that he was wrong about the world lacking beauty.

Yes, Ksaver did care for him and did love him, but he did also use Zeke for his own gain. He was projecting his son onto Zeke, as he said so himself in canon, and he was also hoping that Zeke could accomplish what he (Ksaver) wasn't able to. Zeke may not have been as determined to save the Eldians (in his own way) if he hadn't spent time with Ksaver.

Zeke and Eren are fascinating to me, because Eren threw away his humanity in order to save the world/his loved ones, yet was very upset that he had to do so (given his paths convo with Armin), yet Zeke... was stripped of most of his humanity before he had a chance to even embrace it. My personal interpretation is that he never realised he was lacking humanity (which is something Levi kept trying to point out, especially in the forest with reminding Zeke about his Rakago crime) because death and killing were so normalised to him (and to him, his enemies weren't human because they were mostly Eldians and he, as an Eldian, wasn't considered human -- or at least he may have used that as a justification for his actions), and it wasn't until the very end that it hit him.

Lastly, part of why I love the dynamic between Zeke and Levi is that they're two sides of the same coin. They're both admired and feared by people (for different reasons), are traumatised in every possible way, and are similar yet also very different.

When they're interacting, neither of them give a shit about the other's status or powers or whatever. They fight like equals on par with each other and don't hold back. Warchief Zeke? Captain Levi? Nope. They're just Zeke and Levi to each other. (And they'd be friends if they were on the same side, maybe.)

ANYWAY Zeke Yeager is a great character and I love my monkeyman so much. He had such good character development and his backstory is really well done. The "I love you, Zeke" paths scene is my favourite since in all of SnK just for how much that means for both Grisha and Zeke.

[humorisstoredinthetits]

Veronica's Ideology & Heather McNamara

This is a bit different than what I normally post, but this is something that I've been thinking about for awhile. This isn't gonna be super in-depth or anything its just something I've noticed.

ALSO TRIGGER WARNING FOR TALK OF S*ICIDE, I'm gonna be talking about what happens with Mac after Shine A Light Reprise so if that triggers you, don't read this

So we know that Veronica strongly believes that all people have the ability to be good and change, hell its the first thing that she tells the audience;

[VERONICA, spoken] September 1st, 1989 Dear Diary: I believe I'm a good person. You know, I think that there's good in everyone

Like before her name is ever said on stage (Her name isn't actually stated until after Fleming leaves the bathroom in Beautiful, which is super weird), Veronica tells us exactly how she sees other people and what she believes about them. Her views come down to that people were once good, are no longer good, but still have the ability to change and become good once again. These views come into play when dealing with JD, because Veronica believes that she can fix him. This is in contrast with JD's ideology, who believes that almost everyone is beyond saving and should be removed from the equation all together, and this contrast is what ultimately drives a wedge between them and causes JD to go off the deep end and try to kill everyone.

Now we all know this, its all obvious if you've watched the musical or even listened to the recording, but I wanted to get into if her ideology on people is true or not.

There are 7 major characters in Heathers, including Veronica herself, and I'm going to go through each of them and compare them to Veronica's ideology.

Kurt, Ram and Heather Chandler:

[VERONICA] Dear diary: I'm going steady Mostly he's awesome If a bit too “rock and roll” Lately he's bumped off Three of my classmates God, have mercy on my soul They were just seventeen They still had room to grow They could have turned out good And now we'll never know

These 3 die early on into the musical and so they aren't able to grow, and yet Veronica still believes that they would have the ability to do so. This is despite how right before they died, they were all awful to her, Chandler declaring her socially dead, and Kurt and Ram trying to SA her during their 'date'. Even in death, their ghosts still act as they did in life, being an annoyance at best and antagonistic at worst. But, because they are dead and are seemingly stuck as the way they were in life, Veronica's ideology is proven wrong, as they are incapable of change.

Martha:

[VERONICA, spoken] Martha Dunnstock. My best friend since diapers She's got a huge heart. 'Round here, that's not enough

Martha is initially the only exception to Veronica's belief that people have only gotten worse as they have gotten older, besides herself. Martha still acts rather childish, believing that her crush from Kindergarten will eventually work out and thinking that everything will have a happy ending. Veronica acknowledges the flaw in her thinking, not that it's wrong, but that other people have a problem with it and see it as a sign of weakness, and that in the Westerburg food chain any sign of weakness means bullying. Despite all of this, Martha is the exception to Veronica's thinking, not a model for what she believes everyone could be. Martha is the only person who has somehow remained good despite how society has forced them to change as they grow up. But, if you're already good, you can't exactly change to be good, so Veronica's ideology does not apply in the case of Martha. Perhaps the way she acts is the reason Veronica developed her ideology, and she always knew 1 person who remained good, and that led her to believe that it was possible for everyone to be like Martha, if not for some outside force causing them to become mean as they grew older.

Heather Duke:

Note: I'm going to be using the OBC versus the West End for this, I understand that West End made some changes to her character but I also haven't seen West End so I can't exactly comment on those changes.

Duke is the character who changes the least during the course of the show. Initially pushed aside by Chandler until her death, she becomes the Queen Bee and does to Mac what Chandler did to her, and then Veronica steals the scrunchie and Duke is pushed off to the side, symbolically losing the power she so desperately craved. She doesn't die and isn't reformed or has her thinking changed, she remains relatively stagnant. What's weird is that Veronica, despite her ideology seems to have written off Duke as a lost cause, even if she stops JD from murdering Duke.

VERONICA and HEATHER MCNAMARA are playing croquet. (HEATHER DUKE enters) HEATHER DUKE: Hey, guys! Missed you after 8th period. VERONICA: Yeah, we were avoiding you.

She doesn't even attempt to extend the olive branch to her, instead choosing to exclude and ignore her, which is extremely out of line with what she said earlier about people being able to change. This is probably due to how she treated Mac after Lifeboat, but even still it doesn't line up with her stated ideology. Even during Seventeen Reprise, she pushes Duke away and doesn't offer her a hand like she does with Mac. Ultimately, Duke shows the failure of Veronica's ideology, as she does not change, shows no sign of being willing to do so, and Veronica doesn't even try, all being the complete opposite of what Veronica believes.

(Again, I know West End changed this, but I haven't seen all of it so I'm going only based on OBC)

JD:

As stated previously, JD is the antithesis of Veronica. He is someone who only sees the worst in most people and doesn't care about wether they become better or not, only caring for himself and those he deems worthy, which only includes Veronica, and to an extent the people she cares about.

JD: But why’d you have to go and mess with McNamara? One more dead Heather’s a good thing. VERONICA: She’s my friend.

JD: If she’s such a good friend, why let Duke live? The bitch who made McNamara want to die, nothing ever changes! Unless-

Here is a perfect example that JD's morals are the opposite of Veronica's. His can shift based on the person he cares about, while Veronica's stay firm. JD's opinions shift based on what Veronica says, because he is easily influenced, unlike Veronica. For example, throughout the entire musical, Veronica never lets JD change her beliefs. She never agrees to kill Kurt or Ram and has to be tricked into helping, same with Chandler too, the drain cleaner being sneaked into the mug while she's not looking, and she puts her foot down when he tries to convince her to kill again.

VERONICA: Fine! We’re damaged Really damaged But that does not make us wise We’re not special, we’re not different” We don’t choose who lives or dies

Despite all of this, Veronica senses a kindred spirit in JD, someone who sees the society of Westerburg for what it is, just plain bullshit. It's just that they both have different ways on dealing with it. Veronica believes in rehabilitation, while JD says fuck 'em, let them die. This is what initially drives Veronica to JD, the fact that he simply doesn't care about the social structure and is willing to exist outside of it, something Veronica desperately hopes that everyone would do. Upon discovering how broken he actually is, Veronica believes that he is a perfect target for her ideology to be proven correct. She thinks that she can 'fix' JD with her love and that he can become good, despite everything he's done. Seventeen is literally Veronica stating that their love can fix each other, an idea which JD had earlier brought up in Our Love is God and which Veronica had agreed with, although under duress.

BOTH: Can't we be seventeen Is that so hard to do? If you could let me in I could be good with you

JD: I was alone I was a frozen lake But then you melted me awake See, now I'm crying too You're not alone VERONICA: You're not alone

Despite all of this, Veronica is ultimately unable to change JD, a fact that she is initially unable to accept, but eventually does.

VERONICA: Oh my God—

JD: And once I disappear VERONICA: Wait, hold on— JD: Clean up the mess down here VERONICA: Not this way! JD: Our love is God Our love is God Our love is God Our love is God VERONICA: Say hi to God

This is the ultimate failure of her ideology. The person she tried to fix, who seemed like the perfect template for what she believed all people were capable of does not change, never disavowing the beliefs he held, instead choosing to die with his failed idea to cleanse the world of the people Veronica has spent the entire show saying can be changed for the better.

Now I've spend this entire rant discussing how Veronica's ideology was a failure in every sense, and it would be if not for one singular person, the only character in the entire show who proves that Veronica was right at least on some level, that at least some people are capable of change.

Heather McNamara:

Mac starts the musical as a Heather, a Queen Bee, Solid Teflon, whatever you want to call it. After Chandler dies things start to spiral, being placed in the position Duke held as the punching bag, and once Kurt and Ram died there was no one there to care for her, even if just at a sexual level.

HEATHER MCNAMARA: My sort-of boyfriend killed himself because he was gay for his linebacker. My best friend seemed to have it all together but she’s gone, too. Now my stomach’s hurting worse and worse and every morning on the bus I feel my heart beating harder and faster and I’m like Jesus, I’m on the freakin’ bus again because all my rides to school are dead...

Like seriously, Duke couldn't even bring her to school. Fucking Kurt or Ram, whichever one she was dating idc about Kurt or Ram enough to know at least could bring her to school and they viewed her only as a sex object.

Tangent over, Mac's mental health starts to deteriorate to the point of suicidal thoughts, and after Duke humiliates her in front of the entire school she runs to the bathroom and tries to end it all, foiled only by the dastardly childproof caps.

And this is where Veronica steps in. Mac has done nothing kind to her the entire musical. She's gone along with Chandler or Duke's schemes, never stands up for her, and volunteers her for date-r*pe, even if unknowingly, and yet Veronica rushes into the bathroom after her with not a second thought and stops her from ending her life. She talks her down, reminding her that not everyone is gonna be happy all the time and that she can't just be a follower. Veronica has no reason to help Mac, and yet she still does. And this is where Veronica's ideology is shown to be right. After this, Mac stops hanging out with Duke and starts to spend time with Veronica, even standing up to Duke.

HEATHER MCNAMARA: What you did to me sucked.

(Side note, but like honey she drove you to the point of suicide I think that more than sucked.)

Then finally comes the defining point for Veronica's ideology. Mac has been standing next to Duke since Veronica came back from the field where JD blew up, Martha has come in and Veronica offers to have movie night like they've always done, and then Veronica sings this and offers her hand to Mac.

We can be seventeen Still time to make things right One day we'll change the world

And Mac takes her hand, and for the rest of the song they hold hands and sing together, signifying that she has changed and is putting her past as a Heather behind her and is becoming a new and better person, just like Veronica said all the way at the beginning of the musical. Mac is important to the story, because she is the only one who shows that Veronica was right in the end. She is the only one who changes for the better, proof that people can and will change, and ultimately proving JD wrong.

TLDR; Mac is the only person who changed by the end of the musical, meaning that Veronica's idealist ramblings during Beautiful had at least some merit and weren't just statements made from a naive teenager.

[lia-land]

Kingdom of Ash

4/5 stars

*Spoilers for Kingdom of Ash by Sarah J. Maas.

My heart!!!

I will discuss everything in chronological order because this was a longggg book at nearly 1000 pages.

First, it could have been shorter. I loved it, but I feel this way about every SJM book.

The first two chapters were written so well. Or pre-chapters, I guess? ‘The Princess’ and ‘The Prince’ set the scene for the rest of the book so beautifully. Reminded me of Chapter One of Queen of Shadows when Dorian was trapped with the Valg. A very strong start to this book.

I really love Dorian in this which seems to be an unpopular opinion. I’ve liked him throughout the series but especially in this book. I truly never knew what his next move would be. He’s managed to surprise me the most out of all the other characters and has suffered so much, but I feel like it’s never really acknowledged. Him seducing Manon while he'd shape shifted into a witch was odd. I was kind of hoping he would actually turn evil when he started showing an interest in Manon, but then she became ‘good,’ so then I thought he might actually marry Maeve and that didn’t happen either. I did want him and Aelin to end up together in the first two books and I am so happy that they did not because I love him and Manon together so much and I think Aelin would have overshadowed Dorian instead of complementing his character like Manon does. I’d happily read a whole series about Dorian. He is the character that I will miss the most. I would have liked his ending to be more clear, but I also like how it feels knowing we just might not ever know how his story ended. Although, I feel like SJM will one day explore this in a future book.

I’ve said this in past reviews, but the whole thing with Aelin coming up with a secret plan to save the day every single time was getting old and I thought it was an interesting change that Maeve outsmarted her for as long as she did. It was satisfying for me as a reader to have something actually happen to Aelin without me reading the chapter thinking ‘I’m not actually that invested because I know Aelin will have the upper hand and pull out some secret plan as always’. The chapters about her time in the iron box were very well-written and her pain came across those pages really well. It was a beautiful moment when she offered the blood oath to Fenrys.

Moonbeam is so unserious. I love it.

Elide continued to annoy me. Just… everything she says and does. I can't specifically recall when or why I disliked her, but I didn’t care for her character whatsoever. Lorcan was also just kind of there, existing. No strong feelings about him either way. I need clarification on what Lorcan did back in Empire of Storms, though, because I thought that was their first time actually having sex? But apparently it was in this book. If I had a penny for everytime a chapter ended with a variation of “so Lorcan did,” I would have two pennies and not know where to spend them. What did Lorcan do the first time?!

The first line in this entire series that truly caught me off guard was when Aedion said “because I am not in love with our other allies.” I don’t particularly like Aedion and obviously we knew he was in love with Lysandra, but the tension in that scene and the directness of it was so unexpected amongst the chaos. This is one of two lines that I have highlighted in my copy.

The second line… “Live, Manon.” I think this the saddest character death scene I have ever read in any book. 11 characters dying on one page should be some sort of record. The way each of the Thirteen’s deaths were described followed by everyone placing flowers on the field broke my heart. I have often loved the witches storyline more than Aelin’s and didn’t expect them all to die, let alone to sacrifice themselves. I think it was necessary for the story, though, because SJM has a tendency of not killing off characters and that has always felt inauthentic and takes me out of an immersive reading experience because I know that conveniently, no one will die. It wasn’t surprising, per se, that they sacrificed themselves, because that was how the Thirteen’s characters were portrayed, but the way it was written was devastating. Manon’s pain came across so strongly through those pages. I think this mainly upset me because my guard for characters dying is down when I read SJM books. She loves a happy ending and I know not to expect certain things to actually happen. This was like the thing I mentioned earlier about Aelin getting outsmarted by Maeve; it was refreshing.

Manon has been my favourite character throughout this series. Just a tiny bit more than Dorian. SJM has a tendency of turning evil characters 'good' and making them boring in the process, which I have discussed in reviews of her other books. However, I think Manon is the only character that she actually made more interesting by making her less 'evil.' Her story has been one of my favourite character developments ever.

Murtaugh’s death felt very rushed over and oddly written. With the word choices, I didn’t even realise he was dead until a few paragraphs in when it was mentioned that a sheet was over him. This was either intentional and not executed well, or just bad word choices. It kind of felt like SJM was just trying to get rid of him because we didn’t get anything between him going to tell Aedion he’s fighting and then him being dead. 

I want to see more of Ansel of Briarcliff. We saw very little of her throughout the series, but it was all so entertaining. I’m not sure why we weren’t given more of an explanation as to how she became queen after leaving the Silent Assassin’s, but I’’m hoping this was set up for us to get a book about her later. I loved when she offered to share the Wastes with Manon while simultaneously taking her bread. That was just so her.

I'm not giving it 5 stars mainly because no one actually died. All these main characters, and not one of them died in this massive war.

[malka-lisitsa]

💔 if we dare

A  FUCKED  UP  KISSING  MEME  bc  who  needs  soft  kisses  when  you  can  have  This   !

kiss  on  an  injury  your  muse  gave  to  mine.

If you thought Klaus had a god complex before you should see him now that his curse is removed. Twice as powerful, twice as psycho. Yet still Katherine can't help but run her mouth every now and then. Can you really blame her? She's stuck in a one bedroom bachelor pad all day every day she has to have something to make things exciting....

However making a crack about the irony of Klaus thinking he's an artist? Not the best line to dance on. Klaus' rage is terrifying but his still, cold anger? It has a way of sending a bone chilling shiver rolling up her spine every time. It's worse than his rage. So when he calmly set his paints down, and walked over to her as if he were fetching a cup of coffee, Katherine found herself backing up directly into counter. Trapped.

"I don't expect you to know this, being the peasant girl that you are, Katerina, but art and beauty exist in all things." He stated, with that charming little smirk of his as he gently took hold of her arm and lifted it into view.

"For instance, death and decay, can be quite beautiful."

Katherine swallowed hard as her whole body stiffened, she instinctively tried to anticipate his next move but she knows him well enough to know it could be anything.

Before she had time to make it down the list she felt a sharp sting and then an unholy burning sensation on her wrist as he injected his werewolf venom into her blood.

Sickly black green veins spiderwebbed across her skin from the bite, and Katherine cried out as the pain radiated through her whole body.

"Look how beautiful the colours look. The venom hitch hiking in your bloodstream putting you on the fast track to hell...."

She's not looking, her eyes are squeezed shut as she clenches her jaw and grimaces through the pain. This is clearly a slight to the immortal hybrid since he's being so kind as to spend his time giving her an art lesson. Klaus reached up with his free hand at lightning speed and gripped her jaw forcefully.

"I said LOOK at it Katerina."

The last thing Katherine needed was to give him any reason to inflict more pain on her- so the doppelganger pried her eyes open and looked at the bite mark, her flesh already seeming to decay around it. It looked how it felt. Unbearable.

"I- I get it!" She managed to hiss out. She doesn't mean she understand the art lesson. No she's admitting she understand the real lesson here, which was that he controls her. Her life, her death, and everything in between. He owns her, and she's acknowledging that.

Just as it looked like Katherine had accepted the freedom of death? The charming look returns to his features, satisfied that his assertion of dominance was received, and as a reward he bit into his wrist and shoved it against her lips knowing she would drink desperately.

"You didn't think I'd let you go that easily did you?"

Delicious how much control he had over life and death. She is not the apex. He is. And he is always delighted to remind her.

Klaus took the time to watch the bite heal as well, pleased to feed his own ego.

To add insult to injury he locked eyes with her, brought her wrist up to his face again, and Katherine braced for another round of pain- only to receive a soft kiss to her skin instead.

"Art would be nothing without a little contrast, Katerina."

Smug as ever he dropped her arm as if it were beneath him to touch, and then returned to his previous task of painting.

Katherine stared after him, a million smart ass and disrespectful remarks caged behind her teeth, but she's learned her lesson for the moment. She keeps her mouth shut. He won this round.

"Guess I'll go back to watching T.v then." Bored, resigned, defeated.