#which is sad because this one isn't going to get as many notes as the other one

[aptericia]

Not proud to be here.

--

Ok, here goes draft like 5 of this fucking post. I spent 4 hours tossing and turning in bed last night thinking about this, and then this morning I found a tumblr post that really helped me understand what I was trying to say.

The post talks about how aromantic "advocates" claim that "aros don't take up resources, so there's no reason not to include them!" And if that's actually what people believe, I think I can finally articulate why it is that I feel so alienated in queer spaces.

It's because aspecs in general aren't "welcomed" by much of the queer community. We're tolerated. We perhaps get the luxury of not being contradicted on our own identities, or not being specifically kicked out of LGBTQ-only spaces, but that's the whole point: what we get out of the queer "community" is people NOT doing things, not actually doing things FOR us. And that, frankly, is not enough. We deserve conversations about us. We deserve to have others consider our feelings, even when making lighthearted jokes. We deserve varied, respectful representation in media. We deserve the active deconstruction of amatonormativity in society. We deserve to have space made for us, rather than at most being told we should "go take up more space!" ourselves.

Of course, the reality is that my being aspec is a personal matter that does not inherently affect anyone else. But the same can be said for literally any queer identity. Your being gay doesn't say anything about me, so of course I shouldn't hurt you for it, but why should I help you either? Because your happiness and comfort are important. The same goes for aspecs.

And most of the time, I don't even need anyone to make space for or expend resources on me; I can live fine in everyday, non-queer-specific places without mentioning my identity at all. But it's the queer community that claims it will make that space for me, doesn't, and then acts defensive and morally pure if I call out the hypocrisy because "we're queer too, you can't erase our identities to advocate for yours!!!!"

Again, this post isn't about specifics. I have queer friends who are incredibly thoughtful and supportive about my identity, just as I have non-queer friends who are. I find more solidarity in aspec-only communities, as well as trans/genderqueer ones, although there are still many exceptions. This post is also not about amatonormative ideology, which is extremely common from queer and non-queer people alike. This post is about the reason I've felt so betrayed by the queer community.

--

On a personal note, I remember being so excited when I started identifying as aromantic (and later asexual). Fitting myself into labels has been a lifelong struggle for me; to this day I still can't confidently say if I'm White or PoC, neurotypical or neurodivergent, abled or disabled, cisgender or not cisgender. I continue to struggle making friends because I don't fall into social cliques. To discover that I officially, certainly, was LGBTQ+ lifted a huge weight off my shoulders. And now I'm just so sad to find that despite that, I'm still stuck in the middle. I didn't get rewarded with a community. I still feel alienated from both queer and non-queer people. I know it was silly to get my hopes up when there's such vast diversity in both groups, but it really was a disappointment. Going to my first Pride parade last year was really the moment where I realized this.

[vanteguccir]

TikTok trends | Matt Sturniolo | pt. 3

Matt Sturniolo x reader

Summary: 4 times that Y/N and Matt made a couple's trend on tiktok.

Warning: None.

Requested?: Yes, by anons and @remussbitch

Author's note: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.

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1.

Y/N sat on Matt's lap, who was sitting on his gaming chair, stretching her torso so that she could reach her phone that was on the computer desk.

The TikTok camera screen was already open and ready to start recording. The girl quickly clicked the red button before settling on Matt's thighs, smiling slightly.

Matt's arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer to his body so that her back was pressed firmly against his chest.

"Hi guys! After many requests from you, today, Matt will finally tell how we started our relationship." She explained to the camera while gesturing.

"That's right! Well, as you already know we grew up in the same neighborhood-" Matt stopped his sentence when his eyes focused on Y/N through the phone screen, seeing her upper lip stuck above her teeth, forming a beaver smile. "Babe, are you okay?" He moved slightly away from her, leaning to his left side so he could see her side profile up close.

"Yes, why?" Y/N dropped her expression, looking back at him with a frown as if he were crazy.

"Nothing." He shook his head, raising his eyebrows before returning to his starting position. "So, Mary Lou knew Y/N's mom-" Matt stopped abruptly when he saw her making the same face out of the corner of his eye.

The boy took a deep breath, closing his eyes momentarily while shaking his head before looking at her phone, about to speak again.

Y/N quickly returned with the weird smile, looking at him from the corner of her eyes as she swallowed her laugh.

"Y/N, stop! I'm trying to tell the story!" Matt spoke, his tone coming out slightly irritated. His hands grabbed his girlfriend's waist and pushed her slightly forward, making her sit on his knees. "So, she was always in my house just like I was in hers. We were inseparable-"

"Yes!" Y/N nodded repeatedly, opening a huge smile.

"Oh my God... You're going to give me nightmares if you keep this up." Matt sighed deeply.

"But I'm not doing anything!" The girl replied, noticing him starting to get upset.

"You be like-" He imitated the huge smile before rolling his eyes. "Are you making fun of my smile because of my big teeth?"

"What? Baby, of course not. I'm-" Y/N interrupted her sentence when she saw Matt's eyes take on a sad look, looking at her seriously while pressing his lips into a thin line. "Babe, no! I love your smile more than anything." She insisted, tilting her upper body to the side so she could see him over her shoulder.

"But then why do you keep doing this?" Matt looked up at her again, his tone full of insecurity, a frown decorating his face.

"Oh my love, it's just a prank! I love your smile, I promise. No wonder I compliment it all the time." Y/N moved so that she was sitting sideways on Matt's lap, raising her hands to his face, cupping his jaw affectionately.

"Hm..." He muttered, looking at the camera for a second before focusing on her face, a small smile growing on his lips. "I'll finish telling it with you like this now then." Matt raised his right hand, pressing his palm against his girlfriend's lips jokingly.

Y/N threw her head back, letting out a loud laugh, feeling relief to see her boy happy again.

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2.

"I'm dating a triplet, of course most of our dates will be interrupted by one of his brothers." Y/N spoke to the front camera of her phone, before double clicking on the screen so that the back one recorded her boyfriend, Matt, and his brother, Chris, sitting on the other side of the table, side by side.

Chris had an almost childish smile on his face and bright eyes, his hand resting on the table; while Matt had a look of boredom, his head resting in the palm of his hand, which was held up by his elbow on the wooden surface.

CUT

"I'm dating a triplet, of course I'm going to have to fight with the younger triplet every time only to be able to sit in the front seat." Y/N spoke again to the front camera of her cell so that it caught her figure sitting in the passenger seat.

Her hand moved, causing the camera to catch Chris sitting on the seat behind her, his face showing an angry look with his arms crossed against his chest, Nick's laugh sounding in the background.

CUT

"I'm dating a triplet, of course one of the other two is my best friend." Y/N spoke to the front camera, smiling as she moved her hand so the lens caught Nick.

The boy was sitting next to her on the bed in her shared room with Matt, his legs crossed on the mattress and several snacks surrounding him.

Nick lifted his face that was focused on his own phone, turning it towards the camera and opening a big smile. He raised his right hand, making the peace sign, before a laugh escaped his lips.

CUT

"I'm dating a triplet, of course people ask me which one is my boyfriend." Y/N spoke to her phone.

A chuckle escaped her lips as Matt's head appeared next to hers, his right eyebrow raised in confrontation.

"It's me, guys!"

CUT

"I'm dating a triplet, of course Matt and I have to go out at any time of the day with the car to pick up Chris or Nick from some appointment they had." Y/N spoke again, smiling and moving her hand so that the front camera of her cell caught Matt, who was driving with a concentrated look on his face.

The brunette hit the brakes seconds after, parking the car on the side of the street, turning to his girlfriend and playfully rolling his eyes at the camera, nodding his head.

Y/N double-clicked on the screen, recording the sidewalk with the rear camera, showing Nick and Chris with backpacks on their backs and looking around, searching for them with their eyes.

Her and Matt's laughter sounded from behind the phone before the TikTok ended.

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3.

"Had to tell her that dick off-limits. I hop on it at night, I'm a menace"

Y/N had her back to the closed closet doors in her shared room with Matt. Her right hand was raised and supporting her phone horizontally, so that the front camera recorded from her collarbone upwards.

The room's lights were dimmed, and only the LED lights were lit in a reddish color.

The girl lipsynched the lyrics, smirking as she stared at her phone screen, her red lip gloss shining with the movements of her lips.

"Uh, uh, yeah, he gets to strokin; ooh, how I love when he chokin' me"

Her hand moved up and down almost imperceptibly, following the three opening moans of the last lyrics.

Matt's tattooed arm appeared in the frame, exactly at the height of her shoulders. His large hand encircled her neck perfectly, just like a necklace. His fingers pressed against her skin hard enough that it was apparent he was doing it.

Y/N opened her lips slightly, smirking before catching her bottom lip between her teeth. She threw a wink at the camera before the TikTok ended.

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

4.

Y/N leaned her upper body forward slightly, positioning her phone on the computer desk in her shared room with Matt, clicking the red button on the TikTok recording screen.

She straightened her body, standing next to her boyfriend.

Matt had his arms crossed, his posture straight and his face with a slightly confused look. His blue eyes flicked from the camera to Y/N and back, waiting for her to do what she wanted, even if he didn't know what it was.

"If you want to get to him, you have to go through me first." Y/N spoke to the camera, raising her eyebrows in confrontation as she pointed at Matt with the thumb of her left hand.

The brunette pressed his lips into a thin line, holding back his laughter while frowning in confusion, his blue eyes focusing on his girlfriend's figure through the phone screen.

The girl turned towards him, approaching his body and standing on tiptoe. Matt quickly understood what she wanted to do, shaking his head in amusement before lowering it so that their faces were close.

Y/N sealed their lips in a simple kiss, pulling away seconds after and returning to her previous position.

"He's the best big brother ever." She added, crossing her arms and raising her chin with a snobbish look.

"Babe, what the fuck?" Matt's voice came out high-pitched, his eyes widening comically as he raised his arms in ecstasy, taking a few steps back, almost tripping over his own feet.

"Oh, yeah. She's our lost sister." The sound of Chris's voice sounded from the door, he having heard them as he passed through the hallway that led to their bedroom, heading towards the kitchen.

Y/N threw her head back, her mouth opening as loud laughter escaped from her throat.

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My asks are always open. My requests are closed at the moment since I have 50 to work in, but you can always send questions or simply talk to me 🩷💋

And remember to treat people with kindness always!

~ taglist:

@lustfulslxt @ladybunny44 @worldlxvlys @earth2starkey @remussbitch @freshloveforthefit @il0vebeingdelulu @sturniolowhore @mimi-luvzyu @alorsxsturn @urfavgirllyyyyy @domizzzsstuff @sturnizd @hearts4chris @cupidzsq @dracoflaco @leah-loves-lilies @tylerthecreatorsrealwife @rootbeerworshiper @junnniiieee07 @elliesturniolo1 @sstvrnioloo @lightsgore @gidgett11037 @sturniolho @ksskianshd @ccolleenn @iammattswife @starsturns234

(If you want to be added to the taglist, please comment here)

[roosterforme]

Covering the Classics Part 2 | Bob Floyd x OC

Summary: Anna knows her new coworkers want her to meet their friend Bob. But she's too hesitant, afraid to get herself in a situation where she's pining after someone new. During a spur of the moment shopping trip, Bob is delighted to bump into a woman he can only describe as adorable. Too bad he's never been great at the follow through.

Warnings: Fluff, angst, adult language, eventually 18+

Length: 3600 words

Pairing: Robert "Bob" Floyd x Female OC (this story is part of the Beer Boy/Sugar and Jake/Jessica universe)

Covering the Classics masterlist. Check my masterlist for more! Thank you to @mak-32 for the beautiful banner!

By the end of her first week teaching, Anna had learned many things, almost like she was a student herself. That nice, secluded ladies' restroom she found was secluded because one of the toilets regularly overflowed. The coffee in the teacher's lounge was actually disgusting, but the donuts were available every day. And Dr. Pham from the sociology department asked her out three times on Thursday, apparently because she wore her hair in two braids like Princess Anna from Frozen, a mistake she wouldn't be making again.

And she was so tired. She started to lose her voice on Friday morning from how much she had to talk in her lectures. She took the wrong notes to class with her and had to improvise an hour long class on Emily Dickinson, because she was too afraid to give one of her students the keys to her office door. So she sweated it out, but managed to sound somewhat coherent as she dismissed her class at noon.

She pressed her lips together. If she ran to get her sandwich and peanuts really quickly, she could join her new friends by the weird tree. After two days of joining them for lunch, she really liked both of them. She just didn't want to get their hopes up about their friend Bob whom she was supposedly perfect for.

Anna wasn't perfect for anybody. And frankly this Bob guy sounded like a dreamboat, which just made it worse. He'd probably laugh after taking one look at her, and if she opened her mouth and tried to talk to him, he'd run away scared. She already turned down their invitation to go to the Navy hangout bar on Saturday night, citing that she was too exhausted. But it was really because she needed to stand firm with herself and do everything she could to protect her feelings from now on. 

After another few seconds of contemplation, she went to her office and got her lunch before heading to the quad. But today it was just Jessica there eating lasagna and garlic bread from a plastic container while Anna's stomach growled in jealousy. 

"Hi," she greeted after she chewed up a bite of her perfect looking lunch. "It's just us today. Dr. Rosenthal apparently had a bunch of questions about the math curriculum and took Advanced Calculus out for a long working lunch at Covewood."

Anna had barely been in the city for more than two weeks, but even she had heard of Covewood. "That's a five star restaurant. A romantic date night hot spot."

"Mmhmm," Jessica agreed as she sunk her perfect teeth into the garlic bread.

Anna realized her own experience was fueling her next sentences, but she said them anyway. "Isn't she married? Her husband is okay with that?" she asked softly.

Advanced Physics burst into laughter. "Bradley loves Dr. Rosenthal. He's in his seventies, and he's one of the sweetest people at the school. They have him over for dinner sometimes. He actually did my tenure review."

"Oh," Anna replied, embarrassed that she could hardly relate to someone who trusted their spouse. "That actually sounds really nice."

"Hey, are you sure you don't want to come out tomorrow night? No pressure. I just think you'd have a fun time. The guys are all sweethearts."

Anna looked down at herself and her sad sandwich. She didn't even have money to spare for a beer that she would probably drink half of before she wanted to leave. And it didn't matter if the guys were sweet, she knew her two new friends would be champing at the bit to see how she and this Bob person interacted. "Not this weekend," she replied. "Maybe another night."

Instead of socializing, she spent her Saturday window shopping in North Park. She had a budget of exactly zero dollars, but she could entertain herself for hours this way. She gasped when she found a two story bookshop that claimed it contained new and used and rare finds, and she ran across the street to get to it. 

It was darker and quieter inside than the sunlit, traffic filled streets, and when Anna took a deep breath, it reminded her of a cozy library. The clerk behind the register waved instead of speaking, so really, it just kept getting better. When she noticed the wooden sign on the wall informing her that The Classics were upstairs, she made her way up the creaky steps to a loft area with row after row of tall shelves. 

"Perfect," she muttered, walking to the end of the open space and turning down the last tight row of bookshelves. She wasn't alone, but the only other occupant was a tall, slim man with broad shoulders and tidy, sandy colored hair. He seemed to be so absorbed by what he was reading, he didn't look up when Anna reached for an enormous copy of Shakespeare plays.

She almost moaned out loud; it was annotated and contained every play she had to teach in her Thursday morning English 300 class. It was well worn, and the cover felt nice in her hands. Shit. Of course it was seventy bucks. That was more than she spent on groceries last week. Maybe she could expense it to the department? She should probably know how to do that. Maybe she could text one of her new friends and ask if that was allowed. 

But she slid the book back into place as a Vonnegut she didn't yet own caught her eye. She reached out for it with a steady hand, but as soon as her fingertips met the spine, a much larger hand, complete with graceful yet calloused fingers, wrapped around hers. Everything suddenly smelled clean like soap and also intriguingly like tea leaves. And then she heard a voice next to her ear that made her bite down on her lip as a ripple of pleasure teased her spine. 

"Oh. I'm so sorry."

--------------------------

Bob had never been to this store before, and he wasn't really planning on stopping by today, but Mickey dragged him in and then ditched him for the children's section at the back of the store. Bob looked around downstairs, but as a poetry fan, he found that section to be seriously lacking, so he headed up to the loft instead.

He considered himself well-read until he realized how many classic novels he'd never even heard of before. And they all sounded really depressing. Which was kind of the point, he supposed, but if he was going to get something new to read, he was in the mood for a more upbeat story. Maybe a romance or a European adventure he could get lost in. Maybe a sweeping, romantic tale where the nice guy gets the girl for once. 

After several tries, he still wasn't finding anything close to what he was hoping for. As he re-shevled The Bell Jar, he decided to just reach for a book at random. Cat's Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut? Maybe that would be more his speed. But when he reached for it, his fingers wrapped around a soft hand complete with glossy, burgundy fingernails instead of the actual book. He jumped an inch in the air, because he hadn't even been aware anyone else was in the aisle with him, let alone a woman who smelled like sweet perfume.

"Oh. I'm so sorry," he stammered, already mortified. Then she turned to look at him over her shoulder, and he wanted to jump off the loft railing and run out the shop door. There was only one word to accurately describe her: adorable. She had dark red hair done up in a messy braid, big brown eyes, and a smattering of freckles across her nose. "Oh."

"It's okay," she replied softly as she tried to hand him the book. "You can have it."

He shook his head, completely distracted, as he kept finding more things about her face that he liked. A grin curled along his lips as he said, "No, it's all yours. Really. I was just looking for something new to read."

She glanced down at the cover and then back at his face, and maybe he was imagining things, but it looked like she was blushing a bit. "Wow. I wasn't really expecting anyone else to be interested in reading a sarcastic take on global destruction on a sunny Saturday afternoon."

His eyebrows shot up. "Is that what it's about?"

Her laughter was also adorable. "Yeah, I mean... it's Vonnegut," she said with a bit of an eye roll. Oh no. She knew what she was talking about, and he kind of didn't. He was probably about to sound like an idiot. 

Bob cleared his throat and pointed at a random spine to buy himself time. "What's this one about?"

She cocked her head slightly to the side and said, "Two murders and a kidnapping."

"Oh," he said with a little laugh. "No thanks. How about this one?"

He wasn't even looking at the books now at all, preferring to watch her facial expression change as she checked another title. "Oh, that one's good. Also about murder."

He chuckled and pointed at another. "This one?"

She smirked and looked up at him. "Jealousy, rage, hatred, and also a lot of murder."

"Wow," Bob replied with what he was sure was a stupid looking smile. "I was hoping for something a little tamer? Perhaps less murder-y? Maybe I should go down and look in the children's section?" He jerked his thumb over his shoulder and listened to her laugh again.

"I could recommend a few books with little to no murder. Maybe even a happy ending," she told him, and he watched as she pushed her braid over her shoulder. 

"I'll believe it when I see it," he said as he crossed his arms over his chest. To his shock and amazement, her gaze followed his movement, and her blush returned.

When her tongue darted out between her lips, Bob could feel his heart beating in his temples. Her brown eyes drifted back up to his face, and he wondered if this was how Jake or Bradley used to feel when girls paid attention to them at the bar. It was decidedly really exciting. 

He was going to be bold like his friends. He was going to ask her for her number. Maybe he'd see if she wanted to help him shop for some books, and he could buy her that horrible Vonnegut that she wanted, and then he'd ask her very nicely for her number. 

"Floyd!"

Bob watched you jump as Mickey's voice echoed through the store.

"Floyd! Let's go!"

"S-Sorry," Bob muttered, stepping past her and heading for the loft railing. "Just... hang on for one second?"

As soon as Mickey looked up and saw him, he said, "We gotta go, man. I got some books for my nephews, but we'll be late to grab a drink before D&D if we don't leave now. You know how she gets when we're late." He was shaking a bag of books and heading for the door.

Bob did know for a fact that Jessica got annoyed when they showed up late because they got hungry or distracted on the way to The Hard Deck. "Just give me a minute," he told Mickey, but he was already outside. 

He swiped his sweaty palms on his jeans and turned around to find the aisle empty. Oh no. He checked the next row of shelves, and the next, and the next, until he got all the way to the stairs, but the adorable redhead was nowhere to be found. And he had no idea what her name was. 

"Hello?" he called out softly, checking each aisle again until he was back where he started. Bob might have believed that he imagined the whole entire exchange with an attractive woman, except that there was one book propped up against the others right where he and she had been standing. 

"A Room With a View by E. M. Forster," he mumbled as he picked it up and turned it over in his hands. He glanced around again, but she was well and truly gone, leaving nothing except for what seemed like a book recommendation. 

"Floyd!"

Bob sighed and tipped his head back in frustration. "Coming!"

He descended the stairs slowly, head swiveling in every direction, searching for brown eyes and a braid while he held the book. Gone. He paid for A Room With a View and headed outside to find Mickey looking quite annoyed. What he didn't see was the mystery girl watching him from the far end of the loft.

-----------------------

"She was real," Bob insisted as he held his glass of ginger ale a little tighter. "Just because you were too busy yelling doesn't mean I made her up in my mind. She had red hair and brown eyes."

Mickey gave him a skeptical look. "That's actually a really rare combination. And I know for a fact you happen to have an excellent imagination, my friend."

Bob cradled his forehead in his hand. "Why didn't I ask for her name and number?" Then he paused. "You know what? It doesn't even matter. There's no way she would have agreed to give it to me." 

He thought about the book he bought sitting on the front seat of his truck next to his dice bag and character sheet, and he considered just going home for the night. Maybe he could start to read the book. Maybe he'd feel like writing.

Then he felt an arm slip around his waist. "Hi, Jessica," he said as he blushed when he looked down at Jake's petite girlfriend. A second later, Bradley's wife was next to him as well, and Bob realized they were wearing matching smirks.

"Hey, Bob," Jessica replied, giving him a little squeeze. "We were just wondering if you happened to like redheads."

Mickey snickered before he tipped his beer bottle back and finished the drink. "He loves them. Daydreams about them."

Bob shot him a withering look. "She was real."

"Who was real?" Bradley's wife asked as her husband came up behind her and set his chin on her shoulder. Great, now he was going to have a full audience of people informed about his embarrassing afternoon of not even knowing how to ask a woman what her name was.

"There was a cute girl at the bookstore in North Park earlier," he muttered. "She had red hair, and I fumbled the ball."

Bradley chuckled. "You know what your problem is, right? You're too nice. Sugar met me when I was an absolute fuckboy, and she fell hard."

"I've been having a decade long lapse of judgement," she replied, and Bradley kissed her neck. "Don't listen to him, Bob. Girls love nice guys."

But Bob knew they didn't. Even the woman from the bookstore dodged him after approximately five minutes of flirting. If you could even call that flirting. He finished his ginger ale, and said, "We need to go. It's almost time for D&D. I'll drive."

Mickey nodded and said, "I'm ready." He could probably tell Bob had reached his limit with this conversation. His friend may be an extrovert to the extreme, but he was good at recognizing when Bob needed a break.

Jessica nodded as well and patted him on the chest before she pranced off into Jake's open arms. They shared the most adorable looking kisses before Jake straightened out her glasses and tucked her hair behind her ear. "Have her home by midnight, Bob!" he called as he released her. 

Bob nodded wishing there was someone besides the elderly woman who lived in the duplex next to him that cared if he was out past midnight or not. Even though he always looked forward to playing Dungeons & Dragons, he kind of wanted to head home and call it an early night. Nothing sounded as good as sending an email to Nat before reading his new book. But he would wait until later, and maybe he would even be in the mood to get his laptop out.

-----------------------

Anna went back to her studio apartment empty handed. Well, that wasn't quite true. She didn't buy any books, but she did splurge on a six dollar bottle of wine which would probably taste disgusting. She just hoped it would help her sleep through the night after reading some sad poetry and eating a piece of toast for dinner. 

That guy from the bookstore was going to linger in her mind for a long time whether she wanted him to or not. She was more attracted to him after five minutes in his presence than she was to Kevin at any point in the past five years. And if she was going to start thinking about Kevin, she was probably going to cry. 

The toast was good, but the wine was bad. And she did cry a little bit. She was never going to get attached to the idea of being in a relationship ever again. She was never going to have herself that level of intimacy just to have it ripped away. She wouldn't allow it. Relying on herself would have to be enough. Handsome strangers with muscular, veiny arms and cute glasses who made her laugh were not part of the plan. That's why she ducked behind the end cap after she left him a book she thought he might like. She watched him buy it for himself, which left her almost breathless. If she allowed herself to, she could picture him sitting in a coffee shop sipping some tea and reading that book.

"Enough," she whispered, vision a little sloppy from the wine. She opened up the website called PoetsAmongUs, read a bookmarked collection about how good it would feel to be loved completely, and passed out. 

The realization that she was going to have to spend all of Sunday afternoon getting ready for the week was made slightly easier by the fact that she only had four hundred square feet of space to clean. And then she thought about the beautiful home she once had in New Jersey, and she had to finish the bottle of wine to help her get through her notes on The Great Gatsby.

She was still thinking about that hot guy with the glasses on Monday when she grabbed a donut from the teacher's lounge. Indulging in a little fantasy here and there about being loved and cared for wouldn't be so bad. And putting his face to it just made it even sexier. When she wasn't teaching, she let her mind wander to some possibilities that would never happen again. Pretty eyes, lean muscles, soft looking hair, pink cheeks. He probably had nice friends, too. He probably never cheated on anything in his life.

"Hey, Anna? Are you alright?"

She looked up from her bag of peanuts and realized she'd been so deep in thought, she wasn't paying attention to the lunch conversation. "I'm sorry," she replied, fighting the urge to groan. She wasn't very good at this stuff and should have probably just eaten lunch in her office like she did the past few days. The fact that it was Wednesday and she was still distracted was concerning to her. 

"Don't apologize. You just seem lost in thought," said Jessica as she ate another perfect looking lunch. 

"Do you want some chips and hummus? Bradley packed me too much food today," her other friend said. And of course he did, because he sounded like a damn dream.

Anna ate a few chips and sighed. "Have either of you ever had your heart smashed to bits?" She didn't really mean to say that out loud, but now that she had, she was met with an awkward silence that she wanted to run away from. 

"Yeah," Advanced Calculus replied softly. "And I did it to myself."

"Not my heart as much as my hopes and dreams," Advanced Physics added. "But for me, I think that was much worse."

Now the silence that followed wasn't quite as painful, but Anna was still a little embarrassed. "Yeah. All of the above." She cleared her throat and tried to think of something else to talk about, but her mind was still on the bookstore. "Hey, why didn't you tell me that San Diego is full of hot guys? They are literally everywhere. I went window shopping in North Park and got sucked into a bookstore, and I bumped into a guy with glasses who smelled so nice."

"Ohhh, what did he look like?"

Anna sighed. "You know how you can just tell a guy is really strong even though he doesn't have bulging muscles?"

"Mmhmm."

"He was like that." Anna bit into her sandwich and chewed it slowly. "Pretty eyes, kind of the color of a lake. Sandy hair. Wire glasses. Soft spoken. He smelled like a cup of tea." 

A few seconds later, she was snapped back from her drifting thoughts as Advanced Calculus asked, "Did you say this was at a bookstore in North Park?"

"Yes," Anna replied with a nod. 

"Did you get his name?" Advanced Physics asked. 

"No," she answered, still embarrassed over the fact that she hid from him.

And then she thought she was going to get whiplash again.

"Was he about six feet tall?"

"Was he slim but not skinny?"

"Did he blush when he smiled?"

"Will you please come to the Hard Deck this weekend?"

--------------------------

Bradley is so proud of the fact that Sugar fell for him when they were in college. Beer Boy just gets better with age. This little Bob and Anna meet cute might spell disaster when they figure it all out! Thanks to @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls

PART 3

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[hongjoongsart]

Too Sweet | Jeong Yunho

🥃 Summary: Two complete opposites who are quickly falling for each other, one wanting more but the other afraid of all the things that could go wrong.

🥃 Pairing(s): upcoming rockstar!Jeong Yunho x F!Reader

🥃 Genres/Tropes: upcoming-rockstar au, opposites attract au, what could have been, fluff, angst, suggestive, hurt/no comfort

🥃 Warnings/Tags: Fem!reader, no use of Y/N, kinda yunho centric, explicit language, insecure yuyu, use of alcohol, smoking cig, arguments, mingi is a good friend, mention of religion and satan, stereotypes about rockbands, post-orgasm conversations, making out and brief nipple play (f receiving), a lot of crying, sad ending, not beta read and MDNI!!!

🥃 Wordcount: 19.9K

🥃 Author's note, pt.1: It's been a while....Here's a lil something inspired by hozier's too sweet. The way I have so many drafts for this story in different AUs. I couldn't decide whether to make it into an Idol AU or not, so I did a mix. 😭 It wasn't supposed to be that long either but apparently I have no limits when it comes to writing lmao. Keep in mind that I have little to no knowledge about instruments, rock bands, etc, so everything I know is from given (the anime), KISS and wikipedia. English isn't my first (or second) language, so if there are any errors please do tell.

AO3 masterlist Click on me!

This is all fiction and not meant to represent Yunho in any way or form.

The first time Yunho laid eyes on you he knew you’d never be his. Not because of some ancient family feud forbidding you from one another or because you were star crossed lovers in a dystopian world. No, it wasn’t anything dramatic like that. 

You’d never be his because Yunho would simply not let it happen. 

Yunho jumped off the makeshift stage set up in the corner of the saloon that waited on them each Friday night and walked through the drunken crowd of people. The band finished their weekly gig at Crescent and were being treated to drinks by the owner for bringing such a big crowd to the bar. 

Slightly hunched over the counter, left forearm pressing against the smooth wooden surface while the other idly rested on his thigh and feet propped on the footrest, Yunho silently thanked the bartender for the drinks. One for him and the other for his bandmate seated to his right. The drummer brought a lot of attention to them, with his bleached hair styled to get that disheveled spiked look and handful of tattoos and piercings littering his body. Despite the flashy details, Mingi was quite the eye-candy. His thick lips and equally big and straight nose, made him popular with the ladies as well as the men, and not to mention his chiseled jaw. A big pair of shades covered his fox-eyes – he was too lazy to smudge some makeup on – and the miniature face tattoo reading ‘fix-on’ inked on his cheekbone, unlike the big butterfly on his neck that was fully exposed. 

Yunho usually didn’t like sitting at the corner of the long bar, but it provided more space for his long legs and a better view to the rest of the room which, on second hand, he was grateful for otherwise he’d miss the door opening and the group of girls coming through. Each was different from the other, he thought as he skimmed past them only to back track at the last one trailing in.

Staring at you from across the room – a place he never imagined a speck of purity in – he swiveled the drink in hand, allowing the whiskey to swish around in the bottom before tipping his head back and letting some of the brown liquor cascade down his throat. Despite having a speaker right above his head, your angelic laughter still managed to reach Yunho’s ears and it was better than any melody performed by the next indie group. Eyes wandering down your figure, body clad in a white sundress with a pattern of miniature pink roses, he stopped at the heart shaped front giving a little tease of what hid beneath. The fabric hugged tightly around your torso and hips, then widened like a flower in bloom and stopped right above your knees. A gold necklace with a delicate heart pendant rested subtly near the crevic of your chest. Arms and legs bare, only a matching golden bracelet glinting on your right wrists and nails painted in white. You wore the cutest pair of pink ballet flats Yunho had ever seen and it brought a little smile to his face.

“What are you smiling about?” Mingi asked with a teasing tilt to his voice, a brow curiously arched and bottom lip stuck between his teeth.

Yunho shook his head and took another calculated sip of his drink. 

“Nothing.”

“Right, so you didn’t just plan a marriage with the angel-look alike overthere, huh?” Mingi nodded towards the girls who were inching closer to an empty table. “She seems sweet.”

And sweet you were. Oh, so sweet. From your strawberry lip gloss to the notes of your brown sugar and vanilla perfume lingering in the air. Eyes twinkling in the dim lights and nose scrunching before a giggle came out at one of your friends’ jokes, hand automatically going up to cover your mouth.

“Well,” Mingi started and tapped his fingers against the bar, “if you’re gonna shoot your shot about now would be the time to do it.”

On cue you passed the two giants and stopped to the left of Yunho where you could get a clear view of the bartender, and hopefully catch his attention. Being the one to cancel the last outing, you took it on yourself to pay for the first round of drinks as a way of apologizing to the girls even if they didn’t chastise you for it. 

You were prettier up close, Yunho thought as he scanned your profile. Pretty lips, gorgeous eyes and captivating makeup. 

“Hey,” he finally said and slightly turned towards you. 

A friendly smile splayed on his face and ears were slightly red either from his drink or the warmth from the heavily packed bar. Never one to turn down a conversation, you greeted him back with upturned lips and faced the front again. Luck wasn’t on your side as the bartender brushed past you on multiple occasions, eyes filtering over you as if you weren’t there. Not giving up, you let out a huff of annoyance and stepped closer. Standing on your tiptoes – not that you needed it, but maybe then you’d get his attention – and arms crossed over the surface you followed his movements, eyes burning into him but to no avail. The man took order after order and not once did you get the chance to speak up. Yunho, who watched the whole thing play out, slightly raised his hand and the bartender spawned before him in seconds. Lips parted in disbelief, you couldn’t believe how easy the dark haired man made it out to be. There you were, waiting like a dog for a crumb of attention while he got it with a lift of his fingers.

“This pretty lady has been wanting to order for a while now,” Yunho stated calmly, yet his eyes were hard as steel. 

Saying nothing, the bartender turned to you with a raised brow, quietly urging you to spit it out. 

“Two mojitos, one martini and mai tai, please.” As the bartender got to work, you thanked the guy with the helping hand.

“No worries, it tends to get rather busy here on Fridays…That’s a lot for just one lady though.”

“Well, this lady didn’t come alone.”

In any other circumstance, Yunho would interpret the statement as snarky and a telltale of not being interested but your soft spoken words said the complete opposite. 

“Ah, there go my plans of buying you a drink.”

Taking a better look at the man you realized he was quite handsome. Face full of delicate features; a long nose, thin cupid’s bow mouth and eyes soft but dark as the handful of oak trees outside. The smokey makeup fit the whole wanna-be-rock-star-look and so did the ring protruding from the left side of his bottom lip. His mass of black and burgundy hair was ruffled up and parted in the middle, revealing his forehead. Blue pants with interesting design swirls fit around his legs and he wore a black sleeveless shirt that showed off his perfectly formed biceps and shoulders. A bunch of silver necklaces hung around his neck and each finger was adorned with one or two rings; some thin and plain, and others thick and covering whole digits. So not only was he handsome, but had a good fashion sense too. All he was missing was the sleeve of tattoos and you’d dub him a real rock star. Eyes crinkling and lips pursing in an almost teasing manner, you decided to take a huge leap of faith. 

“Who’s to say you still can’t?”

The teasing remark indicated you didn’t know he was a member of Blue Bird and it sent waves of relief through him. It wasn’t like he didn’t want you to know about the band, but most people that did only approached him because of it and not his personality. Starting a conversation with ‘fuck me like a rockstar’ quote unquote, wasn’t the best way to get into Yunho’s pants. 

“Perhaps the partner you came with.” 

Yunho’s chin rested against the palm of his hand, brows slightly raised and lips quirked up. 

“Lucky for you, it’s just me and my girlies.” 

“As much as I’d like to crash ladies night, let’s do this instead. I’ll give you my number and you text me when you’re feeling for another drink, on me, yeah?”

Like a moth drawn to a flame, you subconsciously leaned closer to him. Slightly swaying side to side with eyes trained on him, completely missing the entertained look on Mingi’s face who watched the interaction with glee. It wouldn’t be the first time they’d pick a person up from a night out, even upcoming rock stars had needs to quell, but something was telling Mingi you weren’t interested in a quickie in the bathroom. Forever engraving the image of his friend smiling at a girl that was the complete opposite of him, Mingi smiled. Perhaps you were the cube of sugar Yunho needed with his all too bitter coffee.

The second time Yunho laid eyes on you he really wished for things to work out. That despite your differences you’d find a balance solid enough to keep a healthy relationship. While Yunho usually wasn’t a naive guy, his adoration towards you weighed heavier than any rational thought screaming at him to cut the interaction short. Wanting to bask just a little more in the sunlight that was you, Yunho decided – for once – to be selfish.

It was a Wednesday afternoon when you stepped foot in a, you wouldn’t call it a rundown neighborhood but it wasn’t that wellkept either. The playgrounds made for kids were far from eye-catching with the once vibrant colors taken over by rust that even you – an adult – wouldn't try out the rides. The navigation in your phone chimed as you entered a white building identical to the other structures and began climbing the several flights of stairs, re-reading Yunho’s instructions of how to get to his place. Chest heaving and cheeks ablaze, you sent three rapid knocks against the door. One would believe the resident’s surname to be somewhere near but that wasn’t the case as only the apartment number in metal was drilled on the wall beside. The door swung open and you were greeted by a smiling Yunho, the lip ring glinting in the corridor lights.

“Hey, I was worried you wouldn’t find your way here but you’re a pro.”

While you weren’t dressed in a cute sundress, you still looked as sweet with your pink knitted sweater and light blue pants. What really took his breath away were the bright bows in your hair. If you were the sun then Yunho was the moon with his dark bottoms and identical hoodie thrown over the only bright fabric on his body. 

“Now you know not to underestimate me, Yunho.”

Hands thrown up in surrender, he walked backwards as you followed in tow. 

“Consider the lesson learned.”

The apartment was neater than expected – white walls, laminated flooring and a few family pictures hanging here and there – considering it was in the care of two guys and the interior proved that as the living room solely consisted of a sofa big enough for two with a small coffee table in the middle and the biggest plasma TV you had ever seen nailed to the wall. On the brightside there weren’t any dirty underwear or rotten leftovers lying everywhere.

“Well this is my place, or mine and my roommate’s, but still welcome.”

“It looks nice,” you honestly responded and that counted as a victory in Yunho’s books.

“Thank you, obviously I do all the furniture shopping. My friend isn’t all that interested in the interior of the place as long as we have somewhere to sit and sleep.”

The kitchen was shaped in an upside down L with black tiled floor starting from the threshold, the walls were still white. The slimmer and oblong part consisted of black marble counters and the usual mechanics that had a little shine to them telling you they cost a good penny. In the wider part of the kitchen was a round table and a set of four chairs. Black curtains were drawn together yet you could make out an empty balcony through the small gap. There weren't a lot of miscellaneous decorations in the place, as if the apartment was barely in use but to stay the night. Taking a seat by the dinner table, you rested your chin against your palms and smiled as Yunho opened the fridge.

“Ah, is that why there’s a massage chair in the hallway?”

The cold temperature chilled Yunho’s burning cheeks. Collecting himself, he slid you a can of coke and took out the rest of the preparations he needed to make dinner.

“That’s one of Yeosang’s many dumb investments, once again why I’m in charge of the interior.”

“He’s the one with the neon green hair, right?” You recalled as the different faces came to mind. 

“Yup.”

It dawned on you that all of Yunho’s friends were strikingly handsome, but Yeosang was by far the prettiest. With a face of both sharp and soft features he was sculpted better than any ancient Greek statue, and possessed a jaw sharp enough to cut through skin. His eyes were large and dark but with a gentle shape to them, just like his heart shaped lips. A raspberry smudge bloomed by the side of his upper cheek, another pretty and heart shaped detail to his already unique face. His hair was long enough to be tucked behind his ear with some neon green strands falling in his line of sight. This man could very well fit in the Louvre and no one would bat an eye.

The afternoon continued pleasantly as dinner was made. Yunho, who had barely any cooking knowledge, relied on you who relied on an online recipe. Saving you the trouble of accidentally burning down the kitchen, Yunho decided to cut up vegetables and prepare the table while you were responsible for the chicken and ramen that turned out great considering neither having prior-experience of making a real meal. The success was celebrated with a brand new flask of wine that Yunho apparently saved for special occasions, completely dismissing your protests.

“So what does the Yunho do for a living?” 

The question wasn’t foreign to him as everyone back in Gwangju asked it – some out of spite and others with genuine curiosity – yet anxiety seeped under his skin, raising the hair along his arms as his doe eyes widened. Noticing the lack of mischief behind your choice of words, he willed himself to relax and masked the surprised expression with a smirk.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“Considering we barely know anything ‘bout each other…yes.”

Despite having alcohol in your system you noted the hesitation flash across his features, shoulders sagging and fingers slightly clenching around the utensils. It hit you that everything besides his governmental name – and the fact that he lived with a roommate who was working late – was undisclosed. For a moment you entertained the idea of Yunho going under a false name or that you could possibly be on a date with a geondal. Why else would he invite you to his home and not somewhere public? You made a mental note to share your location in the group chat just to be on the safer side. The motion of his hand going to scratch the back of his neck plunged you out of your wild fantasies.

“Okay, but it might come as a shock…or not, we’ll see.”

That did not help his geondal-agenda and Yunho took notice of your sudden silence, quickly waving his hand in a no-motion.

“It’s nothing bad I promise. It’s just…not a normal nine to five job and it’s, well, not many are supportive of it and it doesn’t…pay much.”

The piece of chicken in your mouth wasn’t as satisfying anymore. Thinking it probably couldn’t hurt to know considering he was so willing to share it, you slowly nodded. Instead of giving an immediate answer, Yunho inhaled deeply and ran his hand through his black locks.

“I’m the lead guitarist of Blue Bird with three other guys…and Yeosang’s our manager.” Yunho scratched the back of his head, “I’m sorry for not saying anything earlier but I figured you didn’t know and I wanted to keep it that way so you wouldn’t build an image of me based on what other people say. Now that I’m saying it outloud I realize how dumb that was and quite selfish of me and I’m sorry if that offends you?”

“Oh, oh!  Not that all! It explains a lot actually, I mean I thought you were just dressing as a rockstar but now that I know you’re one, let’s just say it makes sense.”

The sincerity brought him ease and eyes turned soft again. Yunho never blushed but his ears always gave him away, currently glowing red like the organic tomatoes in the cornershop and lips pulled in a gentle smile. The whole exchange was going smoother than anticipated and he only hoped it wouldn’t ruin the friendship you built up so far.

“Plus, it’s not that far from what I had in mind,” you continued.

“And dare I ask what you would guess then?”

“Fine, but you can’t laugh at me for it, promise?” 

Reaching over the table you held out your pinky finger, waiting for him to latch onto it with his own.

“I wouldn’t dream of it, darling.”

Ignoring the swarm of butterflies fluttering in your stomach, you took a sip of the red wine and cleared your throat.

“A body artist.”

Almost choking on his ramen, Yunho coughed and recovered before you could think much of it.

“I think you’ve got the wrong impression. I’m not anywhere near suitable for that job, like I hate the feel of shit piercing skin and I can’t draw for the life of me.”

“Well, I blame the rings and clothes. And besides, what is it really that determines how good of an artist you are? I mean art is a personal thing, just like music, right? Obviously not everyone’s going to like everything you do but it doesn’t mean it’s badly done. So I don’t think it’s a question of how good you are, rather a question of personal taste.”

Speechless. You had rendered him speechless. A few years ago, when Yunho revealed he wouldn’t be applying for college and would try the one in a million chance of becoming a superstar, everyone was against it, claiming that the career wouldn’t last long and he’d eventually return back to Gwangju empty handed (not to mention the claims he was being possessed by Satan). The only one giving him enough support to cover for his absent family was Yeosang, who followed Yunho to Seoul, and now you, practically a stranger he hadn’t even known for more than a few weeks.

As you looked up from your bowl, you were startled at his baffled expression and immediately put down your utensils. 

“Did I say something wrong?”

His heart beat loud in his chest and palms grew sweaty under your curious gaze. Mouth parted as he struggled to answer the question and finally settled on an awkward chuckle. 

“No, it just…caught me off guard,” he assured and quickly averted the spotlight on you. “Enough of me, I want to know more about you. Tell me, what do you do then, is it something more exciting than dancing in a room all day?”

“I don’t know about that, but it’s nothing cool like yours–”

“And I wouldn’t think anything less of you either way.”

Smiling like a thousand suns you said, “I’m a preschool teacher.”

Of course, Yunho thought, even your line of work had to be cute. It was only right for a kind soul like yours to be at a place surrounded by everything innocent and pure. Although Yunho liked performing and singing in front of others, staying awake until the early hours of the morning, perfecting different riffs and learning new pitches of singing, he didn’t like how it added to the growing distance between you. 

“Would you look at that, I think you’re even sweeter now.”

You took a bite of the food as you let the revelation sink in. The compliment getting to your head and warming your cheeks. You had been called every sweet adjective under the sun. Cute, endearing, angelic, the words were a repetitive mantra in your life but hearing them from Yunho made you feel like a high schooler buzzing to jump in bed and just write down the whole conversation – dotting your ‘i’s with hearts and stars – to read back in a couple of years and remember the affection bestowed on you.

Waking up to the motion of his phone buzzing violently beside his head, Yunho groaned and pressed the off button without checking the caller ID. He mentally cursed Mingi for being an early bird and not knowing how to respect others' boundaries. The sun creeped through the blinds in his room, reflecting in the body length mirror and hitting him right in the eyes. Yunho covered his head with one of the many pillows surrounding him. A few seconds later his phone went off again and he gave up on catching some extra z’s. Sitting up, hair messy and face puffy, he rubbed the sleep from the corners of his eyes and squinted at the bright screen of his phone. The numbers showed 10:03 AM and below was your name followed by a picture of you staring at a sunflower stopping a few inches above your head. Entranced by the image he took of you a few days ago, when he was free from schedule, he startled as his home screen appeared with a message popping up seconds after.

You [10:06 AM] Does coffee sound like a good excuse to spend time together? :P

If there was one thing Yunho cherished more than his bed then it would be coffee. Black coffee that tasted bitter but warmed him up like a cup of hot chocolate. It dawned on him that he only got around four hours of sleep and he needed at least six to function like a guy who gets the recommended amount, but saying no to you was worse than making a kid cry by simply offering a smile.

Yunho [10:08 AM] Do you even need to ask? I’ll pick you up in ten 

Yunho [10:08 AM] Btw you don’t need an excuse to see me ;)

He threw on random clothes scattered around the room, a white shirt and black pants – but not before giving them a few excessively sniffs – and his obligatory leather jacket, the one with fuzz on the inside. Falling asleep with wet hair came to bite him in the rear as the strands wouldn’t cooperate now, refusing to lay down tidely. Lucky for Yunho, nine out of ten times he could just cover it with his helmet. Catching one last look in the mirror he sighed at the dark circles under his eyes. He quickly ventured into his bathroom and dragged the red-ish eyeliner pencil close to his lash line. It looked messy and nowhere near neat as when Seonghwa did it for him but it was alright. If you didn’t sneer at a sweaty Yunho with black liner smeared everywhere then you probably wouldn’t now either.

The sound of his motorcycle echoed through the block and he ignored the dirty looks passed from the elderly women sitting outside. As promised, Yunho was in front of your apartment with a few seconds to spare. He killed the engine and edged the kickstand into position with his left foot. While waiting on you, he unclasped the spare helmet from the chassis of the bike and made sure it was clean. Hongjoong, the leader and bassist of Blue Bird, had yet to get his driver’s license and would catch lift from the other guys which left everyone with a really small helmet in their possession. Yunho just hoped it would fit you.

The sound of someone clearing their voice caught his attention and as Yunho turned the breathe was knocked out of his lungs. He liked to think he was getting immune to the effect your skirts had on him, but no one warned him for the white lacy tank tops especially not when the material was hidden beneath your blue cardigan. Trying to play it off, he thrusted the helmet in your hands.

“I didn’t know you had a motorcycle,” you started and checked it out. 

Whatever brand it was, it looked cool. You especially liked how it played into Yunho’s rock star style and matched his hair; entirely black with red design stripes going from front to back.

“Are you okay with riding?”

The dirty thoughts were pushed to the far back of his mind as he reminded himself of who he was talking to. You weren’t just a random chick he picked up after one of his shows; figuratively. 

You hummed and stepped closer, your hand hovering over the seat. “I think so. As long as I don’t fall off.”

“As if I’d ever let that happen. Here, lemme help you with the helmet.” 

“It’s fine, Yuyu, you’ve proven yourself a gentleman multiple times and I think I can do this.”

Hearing nothing beyond the unexpected nickname, his brain crashed like a hard disk from overheating. Thoughts a jumbled mess where the only thing making sense was the new abbreviation of his name. Yunho gripped the helmet as if it were a lifeline keeping him from straying away with the tidal wave. The gentle touch of your palm against his brought him back to reality.

“Are you okay?” 

Chuckling like he always did when you caught him being weird, he shook his head and gently pushed the helmet over your own.

“Just a bit tired–” the worried scrunch of your brows stopped him mid sentence “–it’s nothing to worry about I promise. I’ll be back to normal after we get some caffeine pumping in my veins.”

“Were you sleeping? Oh, no, I woke you up, didn’t I? Yunho, I told you to tell me off when practices were running late!”

“And you know I’d never bring myself to do that, I like spending time with you.”

“And I’d rather not have you running on coffee and zero sleep! I could’ve just made myself a cup at home.”

“But then we wouldn’t be here enjoying each other’s company. Now, is this alright? Try shaking your head a bit and see if it's not too tight or too loose.”

You did as told and the headgear barely budged which earned you a thumbs up from Yunho. He then flicked the visor down and you let out a ‘hey’ in protest. Sucking on the inside of your cheek, you gingerly studied him. While he looked sleep deprived he didn’t act the part, and you didn’t know if he did it to keep you from worrying or if he was genuinely alright.

“It’s alright. Not too tight or loose, but listen! The coffee’s on me,” you declared and before he could protest you quickly filled the short silence, “or I’m never going with you anywhere again. I’m serious, Yunho.”

“...Only if you call me that again.”

“Call you what? Yunho?”

“No. The other thing, y’know…”

A smile broke out on your face when you realized what he was implying.

“Yuyu?”

The rockstar whipped his head so fast you thought he’d snap it off his neck.

“Oh, you are mean.”

“No, I just did what you asked me to!”

The inbuilt bluetooth did a great job transmitting your sugary laughter and God was he proud of himself for thinking ahead. He could never get enough of it and it was like music to his ears and it warmed him better than the sun of a summer’s day.

“Put this on.” He handed you his leather jacket.

“What about you?” 

“Don’t worry ‘bout me, I’m a big boy.”

Yunho helped you mount the motorcycle, giving you tips on how to swing your feet and where to hold so the whole thing wouldn’t fall over. Not that it was possible as his legs were glued to the pavement. 

“And your hands go here.” He grabbed your wrists and placed them around his stomach so your front was flushed to his back. “Don’t be afraid to hold on.” 

The contact had your face burning and you wondered if he was anywhere near as flustered. You wondered if he was always this touchy or was it some exclusive treatment. 

The local coffee shop you frequently visited or stopped by before your shift at the preschool wasn’t packed, which came as a surprise considering it was almost lunch hour but nothing you complained about.

“Okay, what are you getting?” You asked and gazed up at the oversized menu on the wall behind the workers. 

Maybe you’d get a strawberry macchiato or a caramel one, you couldn’t decide– oh, the matcha tea didn’t sound too bad either. Yunho hummed in fake wonder with his eyes trained on an oblivious you. He didn’t need to read the menu to know what he was getting.

“I think I’ll take a caramel macchiato, I mean I had the strawberry one last time so it’s only fair I try something else now,” you argued mostly to yourself and like your coffee choice, Yunho found the rambling to be cute.

“That makes sense but I don’t think there are rules for what you can drink and when you can drink it, sweetpea.”

Toes touching the wall and hands holding the counter for support, you tilted your head backwards and looked Yunho right in the eyes. The top of your head barely grazed his chest and he restrained himself from gently grabbing your hips. You were slightly taken back at the pet name that rolled off his tongue. You expected a lot but not that.

“Sweetpea? That’s a new one.” 

“I figured you’ve heard most of them so I wanted to try something new.”

Trying to keep your eagerness on the low you stifled a giggle. 

“Ahhhh, you wanted to stand out, is that it?” 

“I didn’t know it was a crime to speak my truth, I guess I’ll just have to call you something cheesy like petal or sweet cheeks.”

“If it makes you feel better, no one's called me either of those things, Yuyu. So you’re doing a good job at both standing out and being cheesy.”

The tips of his ears burned and Yunho internally groaned as all his thousand good comebacks flew out the window, and right when he thought he was going to embarrass himself the barista – unintentionally – swooped in and saved the day. 

“Welcome to Star’s Coffee, are you ready to place your order?”

Jumping abruptly from Yunho, you politely smiled and nodded.

“Yu–yes. I’ll take a caramel macchiato”

“Will that be hot or iced?”

“Iced please, and then we’ll take a…” 

“An iced americano,” Yunho quickly filled in, “Black with no milk, thank you.”

As agreed you swiped your card and paid for the drinks even if it hurt Yunho’s pride. Deciding to sit at a table by the window, he quickly ran ahead of you and pulled out a chair and beamed brightly. It fit right in with the other chivalrous gestures Yunho spoiled you with and while you weren’t used to being pampered, you could totally get behind it. Before he could occupy the seat across from you, the barista’s voice stole the spotlight as she called out your orders and he was already walking in her direction.

“A caramel macchiato for m’lady and an iced americano for the fine gentleman keeping her company.” 

You looked up at Yunho and thanked him through a giggle as he handed you the beverage. An identical paper cup was cradled in his hand, fingers wrapping all the way around and nearly making it as if he was holding air. He occupied the seat across from you and as he got comfortable, you jokingly raised the drink and smiled as the cups bumped against each other. Taking your first sips together, you waited for the sweetness to hit your tongue and cringed at the strong metallic taste that followed instead. 

“Oh, God that’s sweet,” Yunho exclaimed as the heavily sugared coffee exploded in his mouth. 

“And this is horrible! How can you, ugh– How can you even drink this? It’s strong and bitter and give me back my coffee!” 

“Coffee?! That’s like unicorn piss mixed with water and sugar, how can you drink that is my question.”

“At least it doesn’t taste like something straight out of my grandma’s garden,” you bit back and tried washing out the dirt-ish flavor with extra big sips of your so-called unicorn piss coffee. 

Spoiler: it didn’t help.

“I don’t get it,” Mingi voiced from beside Yunho, fingers quickly fiddling with the joysticks on his Xbox controller.

The drummer looked nothing like on their nights out. Face bare from makeup and his usually gelled hair was combed and took on the resemblance of a cloud. Instead of skin tight clothes he had a worn out Fall Out Boy shirt he bought a few years back and paired it off with some loose fitted pajama bottoms. His neck and fingers were bare from kilos of jewelry, it was just his colored nails and chest tattoo that were still there. Yunho took ‘bare’ to another level as he walked around in his underwear and just a pair of Spiderman socks.

The boys sat on the sofa which was barely big enough to fit both of them, knees touching and eyes glued to the TV-screen. The gaming session had been running for at least an hour or two and the street outside Yunho’s apartment was slowly being emptied of cars and people.  Yunho would soon have to start getting ready for the dinner he invited you out to. Reservations were made at a little pricier restaurant for people with enough money to be deemed important or idols and celebrities who wanted some privacy from the prying eyes of locals and camera lenses. Yunho obviously didn’t have the money for it but with a few pulled strings and a call to his friend in the fashion industry, he made it work. 

“What don’t you get?” 

The question came a few seconds later and it wasn’t anything Mingi paid attention to as they were both occupied with protecting their base from demons and gargoyles. 

“Why you don’t just ask her out. You’ve been hounding her for like, what? Four months now?”

“I haven’t been hounding after her,” Yunho argued, the corner of his mouth tugging upwards in a sneer.

“Dude.” 

Pausing the game Mingi turned to his childhood best friend and the guy had the audacity to stare back at him with an equally deadpanned look.

“What? I haven’t.” 

“Don’t what me, Yunho. Is this thing serious or are you just having fun because from what I understand she’s not a one and done type of girl, is she?” 

Almost as if defeated, the lead guitarist slumped back against the couch and sighed. Mingi was right, you weren’t just a girl he picked up from a nightclub hoping for a quickie that would leave him waking up to an absent space the morning after. You were a girl who liked to take things slow. Three dates and maybe on the fourth one you’d reward him with a peck on the cheek. If he was lucky you’d hold his hand as you walk side by side, slowly unraveling each other’s preferences. Early bird or night owl, cats or dogs, sunrise or sunset, the list was endless and he’d know more about you than his own best friend by the end of the day. 

Gigs, parties and one night stands were fun. It was a fast life that made him feel alive, like he had a purpose being on stage besides signing autographs for random people or finding a minimum wage job. Then he met you, the girl with the pretty bows in her hair and an unhealthy addiction to strawberry flavored pocky rather than his cancer sticks, and realized you brought him that joy too. Through the jokes you could barely get out between your giggles or your affectionate yet worrisome words reminding him to drink two glasses of water for every cup of coffee he poured. And it was always a pleasant surprise waking up with you knocking on his door, a freshly baked batch of brownies in hand as you bid him a good morning despite it being three in the afternoon. It was the small things Yunho liked, but also despised, because if you were everything good – the white marble in his sack of charcoal – what was he?

“I don’t know,” Yunho finally answered.

“Don’t know if it’s serious or…?”

“I don’t know what I want. If I want a serious relationship or just someone to pass time with, and I know how that sounds; it’s fucking awful, and she doesn’t deserve that nor would she be up for it either. She dates to marry, and well, let’s be honest here I’m not the guy she wants to spend the rest of her life with anyway.”

Yunho pressed ‘resume’, seemingly putting a stop to the conversation he wasn’t currently in the mood for. A conversation he purposely avoided every single time Mingi questioned his lack of action with the exact words of ‘put a ring on her finger, man'. And it was funny the first three times then it just became a walking reminder of why Yunho precisely didn’t do it. Having had enough of his friend's stupid antics, Mingi stood up and parked himself in front of the TV. Hands on his hips and bottom lip jutted out.

“That’s bullshit, Yun. I get being indecisive. Your last serious relationship was ages ago and it’s weird going from being single to taken in one night, but the thing about not being the one for her? Don’t be fucking stupid.”

Growing agitated himself, Yunho paused the game again and tossed the controller onto the sofa as he looked up at Mingi with tired eyes.

“Yeah, what good can I bring her? Tell me, Mingi. I’m nothing. My sleeping schedule is fucked and I work more than twelve hours a day for a minimum pay. If it weren’t for Yeosang’s parents I’d practically be living on the street. I eat take out for breakfast, lunch and dinner and have no college degree and probably won’t be getting one anytime soon. She’s educated, has a respectable job and lives a healthy life that won’t coax her into bad habits. She shouldn’t be associated with someone like me. It isn’t ideal for her to be with me, it’s not safe.”

“Oh my God, would you shut the fuck up?”

Yunho startled at the sudden raise in tone, not expecting Mingi to get so worked up over nothing. 

“What does that even mean; too good for you? Yunho, dude, you’re the most selfless guy I know. You’re a kind, funny and quick witted gentleman who cares about those around you and always tries to make everyone smile, even if you’re going through shit yourself. So if you aren’t worthy of her then I should just stop looking for a partner all together! We are going to be rock stars, yeah, people look at us like we’re out of our mind or worship Satan, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t deserving of living like a human. And don’t even start with the homeless shit. I’d never let that happen…”

The little speech slapped Yunho across the face and only Mingi’s heaves of air resonated through the apartment. The two rarely got into arguments and while this conversation wouldn’t be jutted down as one, it still left Yunho at unease. Usually being the one to reprimand his friends, he didn’t know how to act while on the receiving end. Especially not when it was Mingi – the softie who took hours to eat a slice of bread and liked being called a princess – beating sense into him. 

“It’s true she’s good for you, Yunho, and I doubt she’d stay around if you weren’t good for her either. She’s kind, not gullible.”

On the other side of town you sat before your vanity mirror and carefully applied make up. Yuqi sat on your bed, fingers hastily scrolling through social media apps and updating you about the recent gossip at her workplace.

“I can’t believe you’re not telling me anything about this mysterious man!” Yuqi exclaimed from your bed, legs in a pretzel position and fingers frozen mid air as she stared at the picture you airdropped her. “And the fact that I only now find out you’ve been seeing someone, that hurts you know!”

It wasn’t intentional. You knew if you told them a super cute and handsome man asked for your number, they’d rush right up to the counter and harass any guy who fit your description which, admittedly, only a few did. After the long night out you were all tipsy and too focused on getting everyone safely home that the handsome stranger was pushed to the back of your mind and forgotten until the next day when you woke up to a message from an unknown number. 

Everyone was so caught up in their lives that you hadn’t thought of telling them about Yunho, then the whole rock star-identity was revealed and you certainly couldn’t tell them about him after that – already knowing what they thought about guys like that – not even your best friend who with just one glance knew something was different. Not necessarily bad, but just different. The outline of two massive hearts reflected in your eyes and you wore a smile so wide she thought you won the lottery, she didn’t stop to think the reason behind your gleeful expression could be because of a man. Not that you were an untouched woman, you had done a few things here and there, but because you were selective with your partners. So to hear you gave away your number and meet up with Yunho on multiple occasions piqued her interest.

“I told you it wasn’t on purpose! We were just both busy with work,” you pouted and applied mascara to your eyes.

“I know babes I’m just messing with you.”

Yuqi slumped back on your bed and tapped open your Instagram following list, quickly trying to find the guy you had been ‘unintentionally hiding’ from her.

“Are you like a thing now?”

“No or at least I don’t think so.”

Abandoning her search at your words, Yuqi put her phone down and stared at you through the mirror.

“What do you mean? Either you’re or you aren’t.”

“Well we haven’t really talked about that sort of stuff. When we go out we just let the conversation flow and I mean, it’s not like he’s explicitly asked me out on a date-date. And neither have I, for the record. We just go out for lunch or dinner, sometimes coffee, like we do with the girls.”

There was also the fact that he was going to be a rock-star who didn’t even have time to wipe his ass, let alone be in a relationship.

“Yeah, but I don’t invite you to my house and cook you an expensive dinner with expensive ass wine.”

“No, you’d rather tell me how you’d take me then and there if you weren’t painfully straight.”

She waved her hand in dismissal and pushed up to sit on her knees. “Guys don’t just do all those things if they aren’t interested, babes. You know that, you’ve dated a hundred guys before.”

“Yeah, but this is Yunho and not one of my previous dates. Maybe he just wants to be friends, like permanently.”

“You are insufferable. The guy likes you! I mean, you’ve already gone on a hundred mini-dates so this doesn’t come as that big of a surprise but why the hell would he ask you to dinner – only giving you the instructions to dress accordingly – on a Friday night if he absolutely wasn’t smitten with you?”

You sighed and closed the eyeshadow palette. In the softest voice possible you whispered out, “To get in my pants…” 

“Oh, sweetie.” 

Yuqi was up in seconds, throwing her arms gently around you and caressing the flesh of your biceps. 

“Guys are douchebags and I can’t say for sure but what you’ve told me about Yunho, he doesn’t sound like the type to do that.”

“I know but then I start thinking about the what’s and the if’s and it all leads back to that one thing. It would be easier if he just said what he was thinking and feeling out loud.”

“Considering you guys haven’t talked about more serious things, you don’t know each other on that level. You don’t know what’s going through his head, if he’s been wronged before or is scared of commitment, bubs. Maybe he’s scared you don’t feel the same and is trying to play it safe, waiting for a sign that indicates you want more.”

Or maybe he was scared of what his bandmates would say, what their little group of fans would say. Maybe he wasn’t interested in girls like you at all, mayne he was drawn to the…flashier ones who were there for a good time and not a long one. A small sliver of you hung on the hope that it didn’t have to mean anything. That not all rock stars were up for that dirty and fast life.

“I baked him my specialty,” you pointed out, that alone was enough to tell him how you felt without vocalizing it.

“And I’m sure the brownies were delicious, bubs, but he doesn’t know they are reserved for special people, now does he?”

You shook your head and the frown that followed really didn’t suit your dolled up face. There was no time to sulk as Yunho would be arriving in roughly half an hour, but the thought of your intimate gesture flying over his head as friendliness set a bitter taste on your tongue. The thing you could think of to be more obvious was to decorate the dessert with swirls of chocolate reading out ‘I like you’ and while it would be a cute way to confess, you weren’t that confident.

“Enough sulking,” Yuqi suddenly declared and pulled you up by your wrists. “What are we wearing, huh? Are we going for something bold, something that will give poor Yunho a hard time keeping his thoughts in check or are we leaning for a more cutesy approach?”

By the way your lips curved up in a smirk, Yuqi knew exactly what you were going for.

The nerves danced across Yunho’s skin as he aligned the bike with the curb outside your apartment. He stole a quick glance up at your window and sighed. This would be the closest thing to a date and he wanted to impress you, so in good ol’ Yunho fashion he planned ahead. First he’d treat you to a tasty meal at one of the best restaurants in the city, dessert was a given so that would be the next stop and if the night didn’t turn too cold maybe he’d decide on a quick stroll across the Dongho Bridge, but not until he knew what the weather would be like, it was still late February. Otherwise a quick ride through town wasn’t a bad idea either but it left no space for the little things like hand holding, unless he wanted to jeopardize your safety.

Yunho sent you a short message, notifying his arrival and leaned against his motorcycle. There was a slight breeze in the air and the weather wasn’t too hot indicating the approaching end of winter, and Yunho wondered whether to scratch the promenade from his plans. Too caught up in his own mind he missed the apartment door swinging open as you sashayed out, head held high and purse in hand.

The click-clack of your boots snapped Yunho out of his daze and eyes nearly bulging out of their sockets at your appearance. The cutesy pastel colored clothes, bows and lace were replaced with something out of your usual wardrobe; a short black dress that clung to your body like a second skin. The hem made it to mid thigh and Yunho just knew it’d ride up even shorter when you’d sit down. The dress was backless and left your shoulders exposed while the front accentuated your chest. You looked hot and you’d be even hotter with his leather jacket on. Your designated heart necklace was still in place and you paired it off with small golden hoops. A pair of leather boots reached up to your knees, revealing a snippet of glowy skin (thanks to your body lotion).

“You look good,” you said and smiled, lips painted a deep red and Yunho imagined the trail of kisses it would leave on his neck.

Clearing his throat, he cast a look at his own attire and chuckled. He too was wearing something out of his usual closet. Instead of ripped jeans and a fishnet shirt, he borrowed one of Mingi’s old high school suits that still miraculously fit. He looked sharp and important, something Yunho wasn’t all that used to, but it balanced it out with his scarlet helmet and motorcycle.

“Well, I couldn’t let you take all of the spotlight, now could I?” 

Dressed as a couple even the universe rooted for you to snap the translucents restraints of fear.

“Before I forget.” He snatched the single rose tucked neatly between the windshield and handlebars of the bike. “You are absolutely beautiful.”

Day met night as you reached for the flower, fingers brushing against Yunho’s. You smelled the red petals like the main girls do in movies but with a real smile that their fabricated ones would never reach. When Lord Byron claimed chivalry was dead he didn’t take count for men like Jeong Yunho. Men who bought their dates their favorite flowers after mentioning it one time in passing, men who gave up their jackets when a light breeze swiveled through town or men who never let their eyes wander from one diamond to another. While the acts were nothing of a grand gesture they still sent squeezes of affection straight to your heart. Taking it as a sign of the stars aligning and sending a normal guy your way for the first time in what seemed to be forever, you allowed yourself to relax and follow the stream.

“Right when I thought you slipped up.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it, sweetheart.”

Like always Yunho helped you with the helmet and to get on the bike, and heat pooled beneath the skin of your cheeks as you huddled closer to him. Your legs were glued together and slung over one side of the motorcycle, and Yunho promised he’d drive slow so you wouldn’t fall off – as if that was ever going to happen – with the order that you hold on tight. The thrownless flower was in your hold as you reached around him. He patted your hand twice, the mute signal that he was starting the engine. Throughout the whole fifteen minute drive, Yunho refused to disclose the name of the restaurant, arguing it would ruin the suspense and feigned hurt when you said he hadn’t even planned anything. You couldn’t have been more wrong.

With your arm looped through Yunho’s, you approached a tall building that reminded you of a hotel and just the exterior had you gasping, fingers pressed to your lips. The outside was sculpted with details from ancient Greek architecture. Marble columns pushed out from the black walls as pediments marked the beginning of the second floor. The rest of the building changed hues from black marble to beautiful cream colored bricks full of golden rimmed windows and black balcony railings with swirls and fleur-de-lis. You walked the little path leading up to the double doors and suddenly the pavement underneath turned soft and drowned out the click-clack of your heels. The carpet underneath was a rich red and you were curious how they kept it nice and clean from rain and other mud. By the entrance stood an elderly man dressed in a neat costume, his white gloved hand already pushing down the golden doorknob at the sight of guests and greeted you with kind eyes. 

Your whisper of Yunho’s name tugged at the corners of his lips and he wanted to tell you that there was more, keeping his excitement at bay he reached and patted the hand clutching his elbow. Allowing Yunho to guide you, he stopped at what seemed to be a reception where a young lady with a bright smile and red lips waited.

“Welcome to the Red Ruby.”

Completely lost in the details of the place, you didn’t bother tuning in on the brief exchange. The inside was even prettier, you came to realize. It was a small space not much bigger than your living room but probably held more worth than your whole apartment. A big chandelier hung in the center of the room that reflected against the black and white tiled floor. The left side sported a big entryway that led to a big dining area. Its primary colors ranged from red hues to matte gold. Further inside you made out a few tables draped over with long tablecloths and exquisite centerpieces bigger than your head. The chairs were big and soft to the eyes, made out of the finest velvet material you ever borne witness to.

“Thank you. We have a reservation under the name Jung Wooyoung.”

If you weren’t so mesmerized by the place, you’d give him a weird look and ask about this so-called Jung Wooyoung.

The lady scrolled through her tablet and smiled as she came to a halt. “Of course. The elevator will take you to the upper floor and my colleague will further assist you. Have a wonderful evening.”

“Thank you,” Yunho replied once again and gave you a soft tug, finally catching your attention. 

“Are we not sitting there?” You nodded towards the majority of people who were happily dining and conversing in the red room.

“Not quite. Only specific people are allowed in the Red Ruby, besides those seats don’t require a reservation and it’s a lot more open than where we’re sitting.”

Specific people meaning celebrities, actors, important people. Not locals like yourself. The ding of the elevator cut the conversation short as the doors parted and for the second time in ten minutes, you gasped. Flashing lights of the outside world stared back at you through the windows stretching from the floor to the high ceilings. Blue and purple hues of the night sky blended with the fading orange color. As the sun was slowly setting, the moon made its appearance with smaller stars dashed across the dark blue canvas, shining brighter than any streetlight and airplane. The view resembled a watercolor painting and its beauty couldn’t even be captured with the most developed camera.

As promised, another worker – a man not older than yourself – waited by the doors wearing a maroon red suit that was adjusted to his precise measures, a towel thrown over his forearm and hair slicked back with gel.

“Reservation for Mr. Jung?” He asked and Yunho nodded. “Right this way. My name is Sieun and I’ll be taking care of you tonight.”

The second floor – what you soon came to realize was actually the twentieth – was a stark contrast from the dining area downstairs. The whole outerwall consisted of just windows with an overview of the heart of South Korea and the interior took on more of a modern design with black and white colored seats, marble tables and crystal chandeliers that did little to lighten the room. The floor was pipsqueak clean and you could even see your own reflection in the black tiles. Instead of flower bushes, literal trees popped out every now and then and you couldn’t figure out if they were real or manufactured. Mouth open and eyes wide you were at a loss for words as the waiter led you to a table further away from the other guests. Two menus bigger than your head laid neatly on the surface and the waiter left with a promise of someone coming back to take your orders. 

“This is beautiful,” you exhaled, eyes glued to the lively city below. 

“Right?” Yunho smiled, chest exploding with warmth and pride. 

While you were occupied with watching the ant-like people and shimmering stars, Yunho stared at you as if the view outside wasn’t anything special. And it wasn’t, not with you sitting there looking breathtakingly beautiful. 

“Personally, I prefer their food over any other restaurant. Their yakisoba is the closest thing I’ve tasted to what they have in Japan.”

“I have no doubt, their water probably tastes like heaven, too. I mean did you see that crystal fountain, in the middle of the room?”

Yunho chuckled at your words and it tore your eyes from the windows. “I can assure you their water is just normal tap water.”

As you opened your mouth, Sieun came back and the ten minutes of thinking were up.

“Are you ready to place your orders?”

“Yes, please.” Yunho closed his menu despite not taking a look inside. “We’ll take a full course dinner with your evening's specials, that way we can try a little bit of everything.”

“Of course, sir and in the meantime would you like anything to drink? If I may propose one of our finest wines, perhaps?”

Eyes on you, Yunho quirked a brow letting you decide. Picking up on the memo, you cleared your throat and agreed to the proposition. Sieun nodded and bowed politely before venturing back to the culinary side of the restaurant. 

“This will cost you a fortune,” you sighed and fiddled with your fingers. “And I don’t know what you thought but by the looks of the interior, the food’s probably a month’s worth of salary, my salary.”

Yunho laughed at that. As if he’d ever let you near the bill, let alone split it.

“Don’t think about that, let's just enjoy it and I’ll deal with the rest.”

“Yunho,” you began, leaning forward and mustering up your biggest puppy eyes that he was quick to shut down.

“I know you’re worrying, but seriously don’t. It’s a favor I’ve asked of my friend so it won’t make a dent in my wallet. Besides I wanted to do this for you, okay. Something nice.”

“But why?”

The overwhelming feeling to reach over the table and place his palm over yours was stronger than anything pull he felt before, but he kept it glued to its current position and flashed a smile that made his cheeks pop and eyes crinkle.

“Because it’s what you deserve.” 

Preparations for upcoming gigs and events were truly draining him. Practices started early in the morning, hours before the sun peeked over the horizon, and ended after the moon was high up in the sky. It left barely any time for the Blue Bird members to indulge in their own interests. Yunho wanted to spend as much time with you as but it was quite difficult as your schedules didn’t align, mainly because of his impractical working hours. Instead of going out for lunch or dining in grandiose places you couldn’t afford without giving up a kidney on the blackmarket, you opted for quick coffee breaks and late night drives to vacant places; the beach, some random hill with a great view of the city, a kids’ playground.

The clock was well past midnight and your eyes were surprisingly wide open, brain awake and ready to run laps around your apartment. How you’d survive the morning shift was beyond you, but with the faith that it wasn’t anything an extra spoon of sugar couldn’t fix, aimlessly continued counting each bump on your popcorn ceiling, willing the time to move faster for something – someone – to happen. Days off were spent alone in your apartment reading books to rid of your boredom but every once in a while you found yourself yearning for even the tiniest interactions with a certain puppy eyed man who also happened to be a future rock-star carrying a calendar with all three-hundred and sixty-five boxes marked. Maybe that’s why you didn’t hesitate at his sudden offer of going for a late night walk to buy slushies; his treat as the message read.

“I’m surprised you were still awake.” Was the first thing Yunho said as you ventured out of the apartment complex. 

You pushed the black beanie further down on your head and by the creases around your eyes Yunho knew you were smiling hard beneath your white scarf. A breeze blew through the neighborhood and that white hoodie of yours looked to do little against the chilly night. Yunho pondered if he should wrap you up in his leather jacket or clasp your hand in his – if daring enough, maybe even braid your fingers together – and hide them in the pocket of the black material. 

“What? I don’t always sleep early…” 

The sprinkle of sulk to your words squeezed his heart affectionately and he imagined a little pout to your look, head free from his previously temping thoughts.

“No, but you never stay awake to see the clock change from PM to AM.”

“Hey!” 

Yunho moved away as your arm swung in his direction. Chuckles bubbling out of him as he jogged ahead of your punches, they barely did any damage anyway but it was endearing to see you run after him.

“I’m kidding, kinda.” 

“Where are we going anyway…Won’t your friends worry?”

“Not really, I mean even if they did it’s not like we’re doing anything illegal. We’re just getting some slushies.”

Your face scrunched together like you bit into something sour and lips set in a thin line. While you enjoyed Yunho’s company more than you wanted to admit for your own mental health, you also despised it. There was something so gut wrenching about not being able to hold his hand as you walked down the streets of Seoul or adjust his unruly strands of hair after a stronger gust of air messed it up. The worst thing about it all was that his future image was the last thing holding you back, it was the fact you weren’t anything but friends.

“So, what have you been up to today? How was work?”

“It was alright, a bit annoying with the pollen season having everyone act up and sneeze every five minutes but it’s nothing I’m not used to and the kids are cute so it evens it out. What about you, I thought practice wouldn’t be running later than eight?”

It wasn’t supposed to but in the last quarter someone suggested a change in the performance with an added solo, and the three hours of practice were done in vain as they had to re-learn the most important part. Yunho loved his members, his brothers, but they sure could get on his nerves at the most unexpected time. Safe to say the sudden change in Yunho’s demeanor had everyone on edge – despite him not trying to show it – and they were diligent in their learning. It still didn’t stop Hongjoong from having a talk, or a check-in as the leader liked to call it, with Yunho. After some brief but believable words of assurement he was off the hook like nothing. Yunho was lucky he roomed with Yeosang, their manager, and not with Hongjoong. The lead guitarist would never leave the apartment without the elder breathing down his neck. Yeosang was more laid back like that, keeping to himself but still indulging in Yunho’s interests every once in a while and simultaneously taking care of him in his manager role.

“Yeah, no, we had to change up the performance so we were running later than expected…It’s crazy that after all these years it still surprises me that practice doesn’t end on time.”

“I think that’s just wishful thinking, everyone has it Yuyu.”

“What’s your wishful thinking then, sunshine?”

“Well wouldn’t you like to know?”

A laugh skipped through the chilly march night. The smug words he once threw at you long before you knew who he was coming to bite him in the rear; cutie-pie style. Eventually the all too familiar corner store – in which you spent way too many mornings contemplating between choco-chips and strawberry pocky – came to view and the conversation dissolved. The young boy behind the counter paid you no mind, sleep evidently tugging at his eyelids as he barely kept upright in his chair. Working in tandem you separated like the branches of a tree, one pouring up the slushies and the other filling a basket with snacks. 

Despite how much Yunho disliked seeing you reach for your wallet, he couldn’t do anything about it – as you argued it to be unfair if he paid for it all – and settled with a mental note lingering in the back of his mind to pay you back. Plastic bag in hand and card tucked back in your wallet, you slowly walked towards the exit.

“I’ll take a pack of red Marlboros, too.” 

Out of all the facts about Yunho this was the most surprising one, followed right by him being in a rockband and never having watched Twilight. You stepped out in the open with Yunho close behind, the outline of the pack in his pocket and a slushie in each hand, one brown – seemingly coca cola flavored – and the other a pretty mix of blue and red.

“Thank you,” you murmured as he took the bag from you in exchange for the drink. 

“Come on, let’s go somewhere away from the street.” 

Yunho’s hand hovered over your lower back as you turned into a random street with different local restaurants and stores, all closed at this late hour much to your pleasure. The further you went, the fewer shops there were and more houses instead. The neighborhood was on an uphill path leading to the top of the mountain and soon a set of stairs popped out of the sleek pavement making it easier to venture by foot. To break the silence settled over you, Yunho first slurped on his slushie.

“Everything alright?”

The question worked as a needle breaking the layer of a balloon, bringing you out of the bubble you were stuck in. 

“Hmmm, yeah I was just lost in my thoughts.”

“Are you tired? We can walk back home if you want.”

“No, no! I’m good, I promise.”

Yunho bobbed his head up and down, bag gently swinging from between his fingers and then put down on the ground beside his plastic cup.

“Okay, then at least take this.” Immediately you opened your mouth to say no, but Yunho wasn’t finished. “And I’m not taking a no for an answer.”

Your body was covered in a layer of warmth – the warmth of his jacket – and you gave him a small smile, a thank you for not letting you freeze to death even though that was impossible. 

“Don’t get sick on me now, Yuyu. If you feel just the smallest tingle of a cold you tell me right away, okay.” 

He pouted, “Why not? Won’t you come and take care of me then, hmmm? Some chicken soup to heal my tummy.”

The motion of his hand rubbing against his stomach had you giggling. The cheerful expression that made him fall pathetically in love with you was back and that was better than any jacket or hotpacket to keep him warm. 

You trudged up the last flight of stairs and in front was a bus stop big enough for two, maybe three people if you could squeeze in on the tiny bench. The road wasn’t connected to the path and continued in two directions, one going further up the hill and the other leading down and around the neighborhood to what you assumed was the city. The bus stop was placed right on the curve of the road with a great view of Seoul. It wasn’t anything like looking out the windows of the Red Ruby, this was less hectic. Mountains nearly blended with the dark sky and the distant lights of cars and billboards twinkled light stars, you were sure if you walked a little bit more out of the city the real stars would prevail. It was much quieter here too, no chatter of people or overproduced vehicles making whirring noises. 

You leaned your hand against the road barrier and smiled as the wind kissed your cheeks. Following your lead, Yunho did the same but with both hands and knees slightly bent as he put his whole weight against the metal fence. Turning your head to the left, you were once again taken back by his beauty. Features perfectly illuminated by the moonlight and jaw sharp as ever you couldn’t help but step back, snatch your phone up and tap open the camera icon. 

“What are you doing?” Yunho asked, amused as he caught sight of your abrupt movements.

“Don’t move! Look out again, it’s great Instagram material and although I’m no professional photographer I think they’ll still turn out amazing. Just fix your hair a bit.”

Heat spreading to his cheeks, Yunho bashfully smiled and did as told. Looking through the rectangular phone screen you moved around a little, stepping closer and inching a bit to the left before completely freezing up in place. The perfect shot was in view and with a few instructions aimed at the unofficial model, you snapped a handful of photos. In some where Yunho looked mysteriously out, others where his gaze was locked in on the circular camera alternating between a relaxed expression and cheek-popping smiles.

“Look.” 

You pushed the device in his hands and waited patiently for his reaction. 

“Maybe I should buy you a camera,” he said more so to himself but it still drew a sharp gasp out of you.

“Don’t you dare!”

And all you got back was a teasing wink, telling you your words entered in one ear and out the other.

“Send these to me, would ya? It’s been a while since I posted something on Instagram.”

While you got busy airdropping him the pictures, Yunho frantically patted the front and back of his jeans, searching for something that was in the pocket of his coat.

Clearing his throat and gauging your reaction, he said, “Can you pass me the cigarettes?”

In all honesty, you forgot the packet was even in your possession. Digging around in the pockets – first the left and then the right – you passed him the packet along with a red lighter in silence mainly because there was nothing to be said.

“Does it…Will it– I mean…Ah.”

“You can go ahead and light one, it doesn’t disturb me if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Oh-okay. Wait, let me just.” In three quick strides he stepped around you. “Now the smoke won’t get in your face and clothes.”

You weren’t new to the smell or taste of tobacco. Having friends who smoked and even took a few puffs when offered, you quickly realized it wasn’t something to your liking. The taste was worse than any cup of black coffee and you’d opt for the caffeine filled drinks rather than those sticks. Despite that you couldn’t stop staring, almost as if mesmerized, as Yunho opened the sealed packet, tore out a cigarette with his teeth and lit it with a flick of the lighter. You definitely couldn’t stop staring when a whistle of smoke blew out from between his lips making him somehow more attractive than he already was.

“I didn’t know you smoked.”

“I don’t do it often, just when I’m stressed.” 

He tapped the cigarette ash into his empty slushie cup and took another drag of the intoxicating stick. You watched it mix with the few droplets of blue water and replayed his answer. 

“Are you stressed right now?”

Always the gentleman, Yunho blew out a cloudy stream of smoke in the opposite direction before looking at you. 

“With you here? Not a chance.”

You could never find anything to hate about Yunho. He was funny, kind hearted, thoughtful, smart, handsome, everything, and yet you really disliked the way your heart fluttered at his cheesy lines that would fit right in a K-drama. Your face burned like the end of his cigarette and you forced yourself not to look away, cheeks hurting from your wide smile. With one last drag of his cigarette he extinguished it and let it fall in his cup. Eyes finding yours again he smiled goofily, tracing all crevices of your face, finding you as beautiful as the first time he saw you. 

“I really, really want to kiss you right now.”

Your breath hitched in your throat, the blood practically boiling beneath your skin and fingers tightly clutching the long sleeves of his coat. Of all the days you spent with him, from the extravagant dates to domestic hangouts at your place, not once did you think your first shared kiss would be under the stars while dressed with minimum effort. Nonetheless you really wanted to kiss him too.

“What’s stopping you?”

The last string keeping Yunho from doing what he’s been dreaming of snapped and he quickly dropped everything in his hands to cup your face. Thumb gently caressed your cheek like he was molding clay into a beautiful piece of art, his palm rested against your jaw, fingers long enough to graze the back of your neck as the other hand fell to your waist, the touch burning through the thick layer of his coat. High on his touch, your own hands clasped around his wrist and neck in a poor attempt to ground yourself. The faint stench of tobacco reached your nose but it was quickly drowned out by his pleasant scent of rain-soaked earth and camp fire.

Gaze flickering between your eyes and lips, Yunho slowly inched closer, noses millimeters away from brushing. A light smirk crossed his features as you rose impatiently on your toes, quietly yet so loudly telling him to do it already. Right before you took matters into your own hands and nearly yanked him by the collar of his shirt, Yunho tilted his head and brushed his lips softly against yours, and they fit perfectly. The little squeeze he gave your waist sent shivers down your spine and cliche as it sounded, fireworks and confetti poppers exploded in your stomach. Eventually relaxing in each other’s embrace you worked your lips against his, parting them and allowing his tongue entry as you simultaneously stroked his wrist in a slow motion. Your fingers tangled in the hair at the back of his neck. The kiss was great with no tongue being shoved down the back of your throat or mouth vacuuming your whole face. All your senses were overtaken with Yunho, Yunho and Yunho.

It was sweet, gentle and soft – everything you hoped for – and then it was not. The aftertaste of his cigarette and coca cola slush rolled off his tongue and left quite a bitter tang on yours. It wasn’t strong, but it wasn’t pleasant either and you willed yourself not to pull away too soon yet that’s exactly what you did. Yunho, still lost in the daze of the kiss, chased after your mouth wanting to claim your lips again. Panicking, because on one hand you wanted to feel him on you again – the perfect curve of his lips massaging yours and noses brushing against each other – but on the other hand you also didn’t want to taste ash and smoke, and would rather kiss Yunho and not the remainder of his cigarette. 

The soft call of his name brought him back to earth, ears painted that perfect shade of crimson clover and you probably weren’t looking any less flustered. Going from this confident guitarist with the world beneath his feet to an awkward man who still hugged his pillows to sleep, Yunho visibly deflated like a balloon.

“Did I do something wrong? Did–uh, did I make you uncomfortable?” 

The whisper hit you square in the heart and you shook your head. There was no bone in your body that didn’t think kissing Yunho was perfect, in fact it was everything and more and you’d want to do it again but maybe with the taste of something sweeter like chocolate covered strawberries.

“No. Yunho, no, I promise. It was great, I liked it a lot actually–”

“But…? I’m sensing there’s a but coming.”

“But the taste– the cigarette taste isn’t that nice.”

Yunho licked his lips and surely there was an ashy sprinkle besides the faint flavor of strawberry that was you. He had never wanted to smash his head against concrete as much as then or go cliff diving without a parachute. 

Winter surrendered to spring and days turned longer, and so did the time you spent with Yunho. The kiss you shared with the moon as your only witness was one of many, much to your delight, and ever since then it was as if you became inseparable. Late night drives turned into weekly hangouts at each other’s places (mostly at yours), hand holding was exchanged for cuddles on the couch – bodies pressed together and legs intertwined – the empty side of your wardrobe was suddenly full of large hoodies with prints of different bands and sweatpants, and your digital phonebook showed hundreds of calls to a ‘yuyu 🐶💘’ lasting up to hours. Nights together were always an adventure as Yunho watched you fall apart on his tongue and fingers, and then put you back together with those same limbs.

“Have you ever considered getting a tattoo or more piercings?” You asked one night as you laid bare in his bed, skin against skin and his blue blanket the only thing shielding you from the outside world. 

It wasn’t the first time you imagined his body covered in ink or new shiny rings glistening in the moonlight and from his sole lip piercing, you knew you’d need a few days off work to recover if he were to get some more. Heat flooded your cheeks at the idea of Yunho sporting a full sleeve and the previously subdued ache between your legs slowly grew again. Most of Blue Bird had done some body art and were eager to do more. You knew Mingi’s body was prickled all over, from his face down to the tips of his fingers, and the man was always eager to do something more. Hongjoong and Seonghwa had a few tattoos here and there although Hongjoong’s was the crown holder of having the most piercings. Yunho was the one with least the altercations and if it weren’t for a dare back in his last year of high school, he probably wouldn’t have added anything. 

“Yeah, whenever I accompany Mingi to a tattoo parlor and lemme tell you, that bastard really does a good job at persuading people.”

“But?”

“But I know I’ll change my mind in the future or probably regret getting it done and then I think of how it will look when I’m eighty and all wrinkly. Like imagine an eighty year old Mingi with a face tattoo…and I get that not everyone thinks that far or simply doesn’t care but I don’t know…It’s just weird to me. I like my skin bare.”

“I like your skin like this too,” you replied and kissed the spot beneath his collarbone. “I’ve always wanted a tattoo since I can remember.”

Not in a million years did Yunho expect to hear that. Caught so off guard, he leaned back on his forearms to get a better view of you.

“Really?”

“Yep. My parents blame it on my uncle. He was like eighteen, I think, when he got his first tattoo – without grandma’s approval of course – and I was the only one who knew. I could barely speak back then so I guess he didn’t think it would matter if I saw it or not. Well, no one could explain the sharpie-drawn cat on my forearms that they definitely weren’t allowed to wash away or I’d throw a tantrum. Long story short, I accidentally rated him out to my grandma when he was sleeping, pulled up the sleeves of his shirt and everything so yeah.”

You chuckled at the fond memory and Yunho fought the urge to kiss you until he was on the brink of passing out.

“What would you get done then?”

“I don’t know, I’m really indecisive but I’m thinking of a back tattoo, you know those that go along your spine?” 

For being someone opposed to getting tattoos, Yunho nearly took note from Mingi’s 101 guide of persuasion and got down on his knees. A back tattoo – any tattoo really – on you would have him barking like a dog and living up to the name of being a golden retriever and he felt no shame about it.

“Th–at would look good on you,” he coughed.

“Yeah, I’m sure you’d like that perv.”

Yunho poked you in the side and you immediately curled up on yourself which only made matters worse as you moved closer to him. 

“Stop! I’m sorry,” you said between giggles and he immediately ceased his advances.

“That’s what I thought, now up. Gotta give you a bath.”

The gentleman he was, took care of you in many ways besides worshiping between your legs. Always attentive and vocal about your needs, he made sure you were comfortable even while you floated between consciousness and dreamland.

“Nooo! I’m tired.”

The grip around him tightened but with legs like jello and your brain only recently coming back from the post orgasm haze, Yunho could have you in the bathtub in seconds. You nuzzled against his chest and blinked slowly while asserting your thoughts. As dizzying as your vanilla perfume was to him, Yunho’s scent of burning wood was completely intoxicating and it nearly lulled you to sleep if it weren’t for his fingers caressing the back of your neck. How he got you to pee was a mystery of its own.

“Okay, a few more minutes but I’m getting you in that shower either way.”

“Thank you, Yuyu!”

He earned a kiss to the apple of his cheek and triumph fluttered through your veins at his red tinted ears. It was funny how he was more flustered over an innocent peck than staring straight at your wet core. Yunho felt the smugness radiate off you in waves and quickly redirected the attention elsewhere.

“Have you always wanted to be a preschool teacher?” 

“No,” you started and softly ghosted your fingers on the spot beneath his peck, a trail of goosebumps trailed after your touch. “It’s silly, but I wanted to be a cat shop cashier.”

“A cat shop cashier?”

Yunho craned his neck and if you weren’t so tired you’d laugh at his frozen expression. Instead you mustered up a hum and drew an invisible cat on his body, much like the one from your childhood days.

“I warned you it sounded silly.”

“I’m not judging you, I’m just…what is that?”

“A girl who sells things with cats on them,” you said like it was as clear as the sky being blue and the grass green.

“Why didn’t you?”

“I didn’t have the money for it. A shop doesn’t just fall from the sky, you know? Plus my parents weren’t, I wouldn't say they were against it but they were worried I’d end up on the streets or something so I did the next best thing and studied hard, enrolled in college and now I’m waving bye to kids wearing backpacks with dogs on them.”

Wordlessly, he wrapped his arms around you and squished you closer against him, and leaned down to press a chaste kiss to the crown of your head. Hearing about your cat-shop-dream not even having the chance of leaving the four walls of your childhood bedroom really struck a chord in him. If it was someone who understood how it felt to not have anyone in their corner, it would be Yunho. With a five dollar bill, a guitar case and a poor impression of Spongebob he took the first train to Seoul to pursue his dreams and while he wasn’t exactly famous, he wasn’t whatever his parents thought he’d be. 

“But it all played out in the end,” you finally said and closed your eyes.

“How come?”

“Because I found something better.”

One of the many Spiderman movies played on the TV in your living room. It was Yunho’s idea to have a movie marathon over the weekend and you were currently watching the second movie starring Tobey Magiure. Snacks and soft drinks littered the table, but you weren’t craving them as much as Yunho’s touch. Laying in his embrace, back against his clothed chest and one arm thrown over your waist, you wondered if the movies were an excuse to get cozy with you. 

Throwing a quick glance at the digital clock in the corner of the tv screen you realized it was nearing midnight and you could feel the sleep sneaking up on you. It was gradually becoming harder to keep your eyes open and just when you were about to succumb to dreamland an electric like jolt shocked you awake. The hem of your shirt had risen through the night and Yunho’s fingers found comfort on the exposed skin of your tummy. His hand flew from you as if being burned by a hot stove.

“I’m sorry, was that too much?”

You shook your head and smiled at the instinctual worry. There was something so attractive about his attentive side. You were one month into…whatever this labeless thing you were having and not once did he make you feel uncomfortable. He always checked in on you, made sure you were on the same level and asked for permission about the smallest of things but it was appreciated, nonetheless. 

“No, it was just unexpected…but not unwanted.” 

You steered his hand back over your stomach and fought the shiver wanting to glide down your back. Despite their humongous size, his fingertips were soft and gentle, and the warmth of his touch sent goosebumps trailing along your skin. Face burning and heart doing somersaults, you nuzzled against his bicep taking on the task of a pillow under your head. Pushing yourself, you pressed a chaste kiss to the muscle and glued your attention back to the movie, refusing to meet his eyes. In that moment Yunho swore he could feel his heart jump in his throat and he didn’t even need to touch his ears to know they were burning red. 

You had gotten quite intimate with each other. Never being able to finish a movie without locking lips or being in the same room for more than five minutes without one hand straying to the other. Not to say Yunho wasn’t affected by your sudden displays of affection – because he was – yet those small innocent acts did far worse things to Yunho’s well being than anything else.

“Who’s your favorite Spiderman?” You asked to distract him from what the hell you just did.

The lack of answer didn’t go unnoticed and as you turned your head sideways, lips parted and ready to ask again, your breath hitched in your throat at his half lidded eyes drinking you up. They were blown out with lust and desire, a look you’d gotten familiar with.

“Yuyu–” 

“I want you so badly,” he said, voice low and soft that you simply couldn’t deny him. 

You also couldn’t fight the fact that you wanted him equally as much. Saying nothing you pressed your lips against his and he was quick to set the pace, starting gentle and then turning needy and sloppy with tongues rolling against each other. Consumed by the heat of the moment, Yunho grabbed your hips and perched you on his lap while he simultaneously sat up against the sofa. Like two puzzle pieces completing each other you slid your hands to the back of his neck and played with the hair on his nape. The movie was long forgotten and all the sound effects were drowned out by the muffled whines and moans filling the apartment.

“Yunho,” you panted and rolled your hips against his.

In return his hands roamed the sides of your body, squeezing at every curve and dip, and smirked at your beautiful noises. His every kiss and grope of flesh was driving you crazy and you were seconds away from begging for his fingers, mouth, cock. Whatever he wanted to do, you’d let him. 

Breaking apart for air, Yunho didn’t stop showering you with affection and peppered kisses from your jaw down to your neck that you oh-so generously exposed by tilting your head sideways. Sucking, nipping and licking, he gave you no rest and awakened a needy pulse between your legs. Your breathy moans grew louder and shot straight to his groin and he had to physically restrain himself from bucking up against you. Thighs so thin you could feel the hard tent in his sweats that also did barely anything to cover his length. Wanting something else to occupy your hands, you slid them down his shoulders and chest, and with burning cheeks you sneaked them under his shirt exploring the muscles over his stomach. You traced each and every outline with feather-like touches that sent his stomach contracting and a deep groan reaching your ears. Your ego rocketed at the bodily reaction and quickly faltered as licked over the spot right between your jaw and ear, earning himself another breathy moan, 

“Yunho, please.”

“Please, what?” 

You could feel his devilish smirk against your skin. To coax you into speaking, he did it again followed by the graze of his teeth. 

“Need yuh, please.”

“What, darling? What do you need?” 

You whined as he continued the assault on your neck, covering it in beautiful love bites, and all you did in return was grind against his cock trying to find some relief to your aching cunt.

“Want me here?” 

He flicked his thumb over your covered left boob and a sharp sensation shot from your cunt to your breast like lightning. The sudden change of atmosphere left you more courageous than usual. Grabbing the hem of your shirt you tore the material off yourself and left Yunho stunned. Despite not being completely nude, he’d be damned if he didn’t appreciate you like the art you were. 

“You’re beautiful,” he said and traced the edge of your bra cups. 

Not expecting the night to take a drastic turn, you didn’t think to wear anything nice but a set of black underwear. 

“May I?” 

He reached around your body to the clasp holding your bra together. High on love, you nodded with your bottom lip stuck between your teeth. His fingers grazed the skin on your back and left exploding tingles in his wake. With your consent he unclasped the top and cupped your breasts in his hands, giving them light squeezes that had you arching your back in response, pushing more into his touch.

“You’re perfect,” Yunho whispered and hovered his thumbs over the hardened nipples. “I wonder if they taste as sweet as they look.”

He breathed hot air over them making you squirm more in his lap and looking up, he was meet with your fucked out gaze – eyes barely open, lips swollen and shiny from his spit – and he was yet to even touch you properly. Easing you into it, he pressed a chaste kiss to your breastbone before latching around your left nub and sucking hard. Your hands flew up around his hair, pressing his head further into your chest. Yunho then released and blew gently on your puckered nipple. 

“Mo-h, more!” 

“I haven’t even touched you, baby, and you’re already whining? Are you sure you can handle it?”

“Yes! Yes, I can handle it, I’ll be so good, just pleas–”

Wasting no time, Yunho wrapped his lips around the other boob, giving it an equal amount of attention. His tongue drew circles around it, making it shiny just how he liked it and then sucked again. It was messy and nasty but felt so good. Your brain was already short circuiting and hips moved on their own, practically humping his hardened dick that stood proudly against the gray fabric. The thought of his cock – large and thick – had you soaking through your panties and you wondered how he’d make it fit. Would he use his long, nimble fingers or his tongue?

A lewd image of you laying in bed on your stomach with Yunho behind, dick aligned with your wet pussy, popped in your mind. Him groaning in your ear from how hard your pussy clenched around his cock and you moaning from the delicious stretch that came with every thrust, reaching deep into you. That alone could make you come right on the spo–

A sharp ring cut through your sinful thoughts, but Yunho kept sucking on your tits. In your dazed state he even shifted to the other one, saying something about taking care of his girls as he pinched the wet nub between his thumb and index fingers, squeezing and rolling it until you were left breathless.

“Yun-ah! Yunho! The phone,” you whined out.

“Ignore it,” he growled and kissed your neck again, hands coming down to squeeze your ass. 

The feel of his large hands on your backside quickened the pace of your moving hips. You almost obeyed his order as the phone stopped buzzing only for it to pick up again. Finding the light in your hazed mind you put the intimacy on pause. Hands pushing at his shoulders until he complied and leaned against the sofa. 

“It may be important. What if it’s one of the guys?” 

Your words were distant as his eyes were locked on your chest dripping and bruised from his work.

“Yunho!” 

“Wha– I’m listening!”

“Answer the phone, you weirdo.”

Standing up on wobbly legs you nearly toppled over and you would, hadn’t Yunho caught you by your hips. The ‘thanks’ died in your throat at the sight of his stiff cock. It wasn’t the first time he got hard from a make out session and it probably wouldn’t be the last either. You quickly put the shirt back on while he awkwardly grabbed his phone.

“Don’t cover up just yet, doll, I’m not done with you.” He answered the call with a, “This better be important.” 

And it was judging by the way his jaw unclenched and eyes widened.

“Finally! Where the hell have you been?!” You could make out the faint and distressed voice of Yeosang. “We’ve been trying to reach you for a while now, we need a group meeting.”

“Group meeting? For what?”

Panic rose in a sickening surge as you listened to the one sided conversation. 

“That’s the thing. I can’t say over phone so get your ass to Hongjoong’s.”

“Is everything alright?” You whispered from beside him.

“I’ll be there, just give me a few.”

The call ended and Yunho stuffed the phone in his back pocket.

“Yeah, or at least I think so? Yeosang called for a meeting but didn’t say why...”

A mischievous smirk tugged at your lips as you took his hand in yours.

“Well then, pretty boy. I say you get over there and hurry back to me.” 

The wiggle of your brows had you both bursting out in laughter and Yunho closed the distance between you once again.

Of all the things Yunho could expect the meeting to be about, he never imagined it to change the trajectory of his life. In less than twenty four hours Blue Bird would be signing a record deal with one of – if not the – biggest music companies in Seoul. Their teenage dreams of making music and performing in front of thousands would come true and Yunho couldn’t be happier. The one thing he was praying for, despite not feeding into his parents’ religion, came to life and in that moment he cursed himself for not sharing the same joy as his bandmates. Because all Yunho could think about was what that meant for you.

“We have to celebrate,” shouted Mingi and slung one arm over Yunho’s shoulders. 

Hongjoong, Seonghwa and Yeosang jumped in tow, all sporting wide grins and even tears shining in their eyes.

“I’ll call Wooyoungie and see if he wants to come,” replied Yeosang as he left for the kitchen.

“We should see if he’s up for designing us some clothes. It would give us more exposure for sure.” 

Seonghwa clapped his hands together and immediately imagined the crazy clothes he’d have on stage. He’s always wanted to try corsets and heels, and pretty skirts and with Wooyoung’s magic he’d definitely not be disappointed.

“I’m bringing out the champagne!”

Yunho watched Hongjoong run after Yeosang, his platinum hair shining in the dim light, and slumped back against the couch. It was weird. He’s been dreaming of this opportunity ever since he was introduced to KISS back in middle school (secretly of course, God forbid his parents heard what their eldest son was listening to) but he couldn’t shake away the bittersweet feeling festering in his stomach. A rough shove against his side snapped him out of his dazed thoughts. 

“You good?” 

Mingi, always the observant one, noticed the flicker of sadness in Yunho’s eyes. The taller of the two nodded despite feeling his dinner climbing its way back out.

“Yeah, it’s just…crazy.”

“Tell me about it, but hey we’re just getting started. A whole new life’s waiting on us. Girls, money, fame, everything we’ve dreamed of, Yunho.”

For once, Yunho’s dreams of a fast and luxurious life with expensive bikes, clothes and VIP parties lasting until the early hours of the morning changed into something quiet and humble; an apartment big enough for two and a dog lingering between his legs as he laid in bed with you in his arms. His dream of swimming in money burst as a new cloud came to mind. A dream of a girl who brought out the best in him with her kind words and soft touches of affection. His own thoughts were taunting him just like his relatives did back in Gwangju – about the dream he’d never achieve – and unlike then he was starting to believe it. 

That night Yunho didn’t allow himself to sleep. His mind tortured him with flashbacks of all the times the universe sent him signs that you were two stars on completely different sides of the galaxy. Yunho couldn’t light a cigarette without seeing your scrunched up face or drink a cup of coffee and not imagine your downturned lips and tongue sticking out in disgust. At the same time, he avoided anything and everything sweet as it worked as a reminder of the very person he deprived himself of.

After tossing and turning for the most part of the night, you woke up to the sound of heavy rain splattering against the windows of your bedroom. You couldn’t shake away the inkling feeling that it wouldn’t be the best day of your week, and considering last night’s scare you insisted your worry wasn’t unjustified. The time on your phone showed you still had a few hours before your alarm would go off for work. You wondered what Yunho was doing and what the meeting was about. There were no messages or calls from him, which wasn’t that unusual, but you were used to good morning texts and an array of different emojis. 

Willing yourself not to think much of it, you made yourself a cup of coffee and clocked into work earlier than scheduled. You couldn’t stop thinking about Yunho and decided to send him a quick message despite the moral part of your inner-self telling you not to. The following embarrassment was locked in your work cabinet with all your belongings and worrisome thoughts. For the next eight hours you busied yourself with work; playing with the kids, serving them food, changing diapers, putting them to sleep. You moved on autopilot and didn’t, not once, think of a certain tall boy who could play the guitar blindfolded.

The clock struck five PM and you kept your dignity in mind as you refrained from bolting down the hallway. The last group of kids had just been picked up and you made a beeline for the locker room. 

You [06:05 AM] Good morning 🌷how’d the meeting go? Delivered

The message was left unread and the delivered status was exceptionally bright. You couldn’t shake away the thought that something wasn't right, but you didn’t want to overwhelm Yunho as you still didn’t know what the meeting was about. You’d be damned if it turned out to be something bad. The last thing he needed was a girl pestering him about it. Doing what you did best, you put on a smile and went back home, but not before stopping by a bakery for some strawberry pastries with the hopes of sweetening up your gloomy afternoon. 

The red bike you were very accustomed to stood parked outside your apartment building but its owner was nowhere in sight and your phone was still void of notifications. It could only mean one thing. You raced up the flight of stairs and lo and behold there he was; sitting on the stair outside your door with a lighter twirling between his thumb and index finger. He looked nothing like the Yunho you knew. His face was bare and lacked the usual dark makeup smudged on his skin, and he only wore a gray hoodie and sweatpants while his fingers were void of silver bands and whatnots. He still looked handsome as ever though.

“Yuyu!” 

You jumped in his arms and he grabbed onto the railing not to fall backwards. Your body slotted perfectly against his and your breath tickled his neck. Yunho had one arm around your waist and the other moved to cup the back of your neck. He inhaled your vanilla perfume and tried engraving in his mind.

“I thought I recognized your ride. What are you doing here?”

“Just needed to see you,” he replied as you moved to unlock the door. 

His hand itched to reach for yours. To have you tucked under his arm or back glued to his chest, elbows or knees touching, anything really. He just needed the feel of your touch.

“Ah, you had me worried! I mean I’m happy to see you, but you didn’t reply to my text this morning and seeing the bike I really thought something happened.”

A forced laugh made its way past his lips and he was quick to pat your head. 

“You always worry about me, don’t you?” 

His hand slid down to your jaw and thumb caressed your chin, grazing your bottom lip.

“I’m sorry. I forgot my phone at Hongjoong’s and he’s still at work so I couldn’t get it. Was it something important?”

“You’ll drive me into an early grave, Jeong Yunho.”

“Yah, don’t say that!” 

Yunho nearly ascended like a helium balloon at the sound of your laughter. The Heaven’s gate came to view as you blessed him with that bright smile of yours. Teasingly you got closer to him so your breaths mingled in the air.

“Who will be the death of who now?”  

The question was soft and came out in a hushed whisper, and if you weren’t a pinky away from him you’d completely miss it. Yunho gazed into your eyes and you had never felt so seen before. He looked at you as if you had the world in your palms and he was ready to risk it all. A bit flustered under his loving stare, you tried reflecting his attention elsewhere.

“How’d the meeting go?” 

The moment the words left your mouth Yunho visibly sagged and his lips pursed into a tight line. You tried finding an answer in his suddenly softened eyes but all you could see in them was sadness. Yunho cleared his throat and widened the distance between you as if it would lighten the blow of his news.

“So…Blue Bird is signing a record deal with Brother Choi Industries…”

“Oh my God! Yunho, that's great!” 

Yunho caught you in the air. Your arms and legs wrapped around him and your cheek squished against his. The happiness surged out of you like rays of the sun and instead of warming him up, it pierced his body to the core. You planted a quick kiss to his cheek that left a prickling feeling after and then you were down again, feet meeting the floor.

“Why didn’t you say anything sooner?! We have to celebrate! C’mon, we’ll do whatever, it’s on me.”

Fingers latched around his wrist and the purse with all your belongings thrown over your shoulder, you headed for the door again but Yunho didn’t budge. Like an oak rooted to the ground, he stood in place and it dawned on you that he didn’t match your excitement.

“Can’t we just, I don’t know, stay inside? Watch a movie or something…”

“Yeah– yeah, of course,” you whispered and led him to the living room. “Put on whatever and I’ll bring some snacks.”

You couldn’t help but worry. News like that usually called for drinks or a nice dinner with one's friends or family. The thoughts of what could have happened were endless and did nothing to soothe the growing ball of anxiety in your abdomen. Patient as always you didn’t push further on the matter and just gathered whatever snacks you had in your cupboards (oreos and a half-empty packet of chips). Your eyes traveled the length of Yunho’s body stretched out on the sofa and then shifted to the TV.

“Bluey?”

“I like the gentle-parenting,” Yunho whispered and you nearly turned into a puddle on the spot.

“It’s a good show. I give it five stars and the preschool teacher approval stamp.”

As you laid down everything on the table, Yunho raised one arm in the air, a silent request for you to make yourself at home in his hold. Head on his chest, you could hear the rhythmic beat of his heart and the warmth seeping through his thick clothes. His hands were intertwined on your lower back, occasionally rubbing his thumbs over the fabric which would have any cat purring in seconds. Your left arm was squished against the sofa while the other played with one of the strings on his hoodie. 

The series of colorful dogs wasn’t new to you as almost the entirety of the kids at the preschool had some kind of product with the cartoon characters splayed on, whether it be a backpack, water bottle or bandaids. It was either that or Paw Patrol, and personally speaking you preferred the Australian doggos. 

For a good hour or two Yunho just laid there with his eyes glued to the animated show but mind running laps. He didn’t reach for any of the goods on the table or excused himself for a pee-break he so desperately needed because he knew the moment he moved, you’d look at him with pleading eyes and ask what’s on his mind. And although he’d been camping outside your apartment for three hours, he still couldn't find the right words to tell you what’s been bugging him since Yeosang’s revelation. He wasn’t there to tell you about the stupid record deal or how he forgot his phone (it was in his back pocket). Yunho came to break things up, something he knew was inevitable since the first night he laid eyes on you.

“Yuyu,” you whispered and poked his cheek, trying to get his attention. 

The guitarist was there physically but where he had gone mentally was a mystery and you noticed it early on when he didn’t mention anything about Bandit playing the toy drum set.

“Hmm?” 

He blinked back to reality and turned to face you who had changed position to lay flat on him, chin perched on top of your hand and pouty lips.

“Your heartbeat’s really loud. Is everything okay?”

Nothing about this was okay. 

It wasn’t okay that your bodies fit like puzzle pieces. It wasn’t okay that you were great together despite your contrasting looks. It wasn’t okay that the girl of his dreams was the polar opposite of himself.

“I’m just thinking…a lot.”

“About the record label?”

Fuck the record label, is what Yunho wanted to say. It was the last thing on his mind, right below his parents and every other person who had their doubts about him. The real words lingered on the tip of his tongue, waiting to be spoken out in the open and he nearly swallowed them back down, but he couldn’t bring himself to lie, not when you looked at him with worry written all over your features.

“About…you. About us.”

“What about us?”

Your voice came out higher at the end and he knew the question you were thinking of was something completely different than what he was about to say, and it hurt so much.

“It's just not…I don’t think we’re that good of a match.”

He caught the moment your world came crashing down. How the light of worry turned into confusion.

“What?” 

“We shouldn’t keep doing this.”

By that point you both sat back up on your knees and hands on your thighs, while he moved so his legs were drawn up to his chest.

“I don’t understand. I thought you liked me...” 

“I do, but it’s not– I’m…sorry.”

This was all too much for you and you were torn between lashing out in anger or hearing him out. Your heart pounded against your chest and you could feel it crack from the pressure of his confession. As if that wasn’t enough a stinging sensation burned behind your eyes.

“Why didn’t you say anything from the start then? If you never wanted this to happen, why’d you kiss me in the first place or take me out on dates? We’ve been tiptoeing between friends and something more for the past six months and suddenly we can’t be either?!” 

The desperation dripping from your words was clear as a summer’s sky and while you tried to prove a point, Yunho wasn’t having any of it.

“It felt right in the moment, but the more time we spent together I realized that we’re too different, it just won’t work–"

You were quick to follow up. Tongue sharp and fire behind your words, they were nothing like the sweet scent of strawberries and roses he was used to. Yunho had never seen you so upset.

“This has nothing to do with our differences, Yunho! We are great together and we’ve proven it countless times. There’s something deeper than that, something you’re not telling me and I don’t know why. What have I done to ruin your trust in me?”

A beat of silence passed. The apartment was completely quiet and you wondered if the neighbors were listening in on the argument, and if they did then what a great first impression Yunho was leaving them with.

“I’m afraid I’ll ruin you,” he whispered, lips in a pout and eyes glistening like an ocean’s reflection of a night sky.

As if a pair of invisible hands, the words plunged into your chest and forcefully grabbed at your heart only to tear out the poor beating organ and throw it across the ground. To think Yunho saw himself as a problem – as a stain in your life – that he was depriving him (and you) of something beautiful, it fucking hurt.

“Don’t do that. That’s not fair, Yunho. You’d never ruin me, do you understand? This is the happiest I’ve been in a long time and I need you to know it.”

“It’s not going to work. You’re too good and I’m– you’re, I’m bad for you.”

“You don’t get to decide that for me! It’s not like I’ve never touched a cigar before in my life, or tried strong liquor or, I don’t know, had flings here and there! You’re talking as if you’re a drug lord or something. You’re just a– a– an upcoming rockstar! With an ambition that takes up a lot of your time and who occasionally smokes and drinks to de-stress. Don’t think I’m some saint you’re going to corrupt because I’m far from it, Yunho.”

Silence. 

While Yunho knew everything you said to be true, it didn’t fit the image he created of you and he could only fault himself for it. You noticed his eyes wandered around, jumping from furniture to furniture, all to avoid yours. So with shaky hands you gently – like he was a baby chick – cradled his chin and turned him towards you.

“I want you, so why won’t you let me have you?”

The crack in your voice confirmed his stupid theory of being bad for you. It was better this way, but goddammit did he want to wrap you up in his embrace and kiss the top of your head and whisper soothing things in your ear. To say ‘I’m not going nowhere’ and ‘I’m sorry’ a thousand times over until the damage would glue itself back together. He wanted to be the one giving you strength and not stack rocks upon rocks on your shoulders.

“It’s not just about that. I’m going to be a…rockstar soon. The fans, some of them are going to be nice, but not all will wish the best for us. If something were to come out about us, they’d leave you restless. I’ve seen it happen to others and I don’t want you to suffer that same path.”

And if you could see through his lies, you mentioned nothing of it.

“That’s not your decision to make and you know it! I like you and you obviously like me, nothing else matters besides that, please, listen to me. Yunho, I don’t care about anything else but you.”

He nuzzled against your palm and leaned closer until his forehead rested against yours. He wanted to remind you of your agreement, to call him Yuyu and only that, but it was a privilege he wasn’t granted anymore. You squeezed your eyes shut, not bearing to see his wet cheek, but even that didn’t stop your own tears. You felt the soft pad of his thumb wipe away the streams of salty water flowing down your skin and you didn’t know what was worse. That he was the reason behind them or that it was the first and last time he’d ever wipe tears from your face again.

“You’re gonna have a good life without me, you’re gonna grow and go places. You’re gonna get that cat lady shop and be the best cat shop cashier the world has ever seem, and you’ll meet someone way better than me–”

“But I want you!”

“You’re gonna forget about me and find someone deserving of you. Someone that can shower you with unconditional love.”

“Then be that someone. Get better, do better and stop trying to ruin this thing we have!”

“And I want you to stay just as you are. Okay? Gentle and loving and sweet. This world doesn’t deserve you and neither do I, but you deserve someone, yeah, sweet pea?”

Yunho’s voice cracked and you quickly dragged him into a bone crushing hug. He hid in the crook of your neck, arms going around you in a tight grip as if you’d disappear the second he let go. In the safety of your arms he let down his guard and the loud cries that followed prickled your skin just as much as yours clawed at his heart. You stayed in each other’s hold and drew soothing shapes on each other’s backs as you cried your hearts out.

Your arms were numb and your body refused to produce more tears to cry, but even then you didn’t budge. You knew if you let go Yunho would take it as his cue to leave and you couldn’t bear that just how you couldn’t stop whimpering as he pressed soft kisses to your temple or whispered apologies in your ear. 

“I have to go,” he eventually whispered and your heart – that you were still picking up the pieces of – broke all over again, sending shards of blood and tissue everywhere.

Your hold tightened and he truly felt evil as he broke out of your grip and got a good look at your swollen face.

“I’m so sorry, sweet pea.”

“Pluh-please, don’t do this.” 

“I’m sorry.”

“Kiss me, then,” you wailed. “If you can’t stay, just kiss me one last time.”

Never one to deny your wishes he slotted his lips against your and tasted the mix of your salty tears. Your fingers curled painfully in his cheeks and the hold he had on your waist was sure to leave bitter bruises in the morning. Yunho poured every ounce of affection, his heart and soul – his everything – into the kiss. It was something he’d never done before but he needed you to know that while you maybe hadn’t reached the stage of love just yet, his adoration of fondness was never fake. Whatever feeling he had for you that was the closest to love, it was never fake.

Teary eyes stared into each other as you parted, breaths heavy and lungs ready to burst through your chest. He gave you one last peck on the cheek and broke free from your grip, and like the broken record left in his childhood bedroom, he repeated the useless apologetic words until they lost all their meaning. Your muffled cries shot straight to his heart and he could feel it crack with each step taken further away from you

As Yunho passed the threshold of your apartment for the last time, he kept telling himself that it was for the best. Your undeserving love would just be ruined in the palms of his hands and he had to leave before it became something he was too afraid to let go off. He had to leave even if meant snapping free from the vines you barely managed to twine around his limbs. It would be sharp and quick and hurt like a paper cut but with no permanent scars.

The more he lingered around you, the deeper and tighter the roots went and more sweetpeas would grow and wrap around his body, and fill him with a love and warmth that was impossible to flee. And when the seasonal change began and all the birds fled somewhere warmer, he’d have no choice but to forcefully cut the vines curled around him and hurt you beyond repair. That wasn’t something Yunho could ever see himself do and before it turned into a cloying love, he’d save you both the hurt and pain, and just leave. You’d eventually grow your sweetpeas somewhere else.

Because in the end, you were all too sweet for him.

Author's note pt.2: I've read a lot of different interpretations of the song and I wanted to share my (if you haven't kind of already grasped it). While reading the lyrics, I understood that person A doesn't believe they are worthy of person B because of their different life styles and nature. In short, they are complete opposites. While that can be good (opposites attract) person A doesn't see it that way. They know right from the start that they aren't destined to be (the reasons to this are endless) yet they still try to pursue a relationship with person B until something tells them "this isn't right". Now being polar opposites, Person B thinks that person A is the one for them despite their differences. As mentioned, I know there are a lot of different opinions of what the actual meaning of the song is and I can totally get behind those too, but this was my first interpretation and what kick-started this whole oneshot.

Disclaimer For this fic, I didn't want to make it into an experienced x inexperienced trope. Mainly because a lot of people associate innocence with dressing/acting cutesy which I believe isn't valid. People can still like pastel colors, cute trinkets, dress cute and still be experienced (with sex, smoking, drinking, tattoos, piercings, etc). I think it gives a little more depth to the story by not making the MC new to all that, but I'm not trying to spread shame on those who are inexperienced as there's absolutely nothing wrong with it!!!

Also it's my first time ever writing something close to smut and it was so hard! I can't stress it enough 😭 I'll have to practice it way more before even attempting the real deal lmao. While we're at it, it's also my first time writing for Yunho so I hope I brought him justice!

If you've made it this far I just wanna thank you for reading (everything) and I hope you've enjoyed ❤️

© HONGJOONGSART 2024 - All rights reserved. Copying, editing, reposting or translating my work is not allowed.

[itsfairly]

Two Negatives Make a Positive // Nanami Kento x f!reader

word count: 2.4k

cw: f!reader, neighbors to lovers, valentine's inspired (not mentioned but that's the main idea), not proofread

summary: dating can be tricky and nanami has confirmed that fact tonight on his date. but as he gets home and sees his neighbor alone by the stairs, he gets the feeling he isn't the only one with a bad night.

notes: i have no notes other than you can tell when things started to flow for him in this one.

liked this? show it with a like, reblog, and/or comment. each is greatly appreciated and celebrated!

His date wasn’t going well. Not because his date was rude or not interested, but it didn’t feel like a date. Rather than feeling his cheeks hurt from how much he was smiling, Nanami felt he was just being polite rather than smitten. Maybe he was jumping to conclusions so quickly, he thought, maybe as the date went on things would fall into place to meet again.

But things never seem to fall just right. Conversation was bland and when it seemed like it would get better, the moment didn’t seem to last for longer than a few seconds whether because of an interruption or because that was the end of that thread. They couldn’t seem to find their pace, resulting in multiple occasions when they ended up interrupting each other mid-sentence, maybe her sneaking her phone down the table as if to escape the awkwardness of the situation, which only made it worse in his eyes. It was obvious to know that, despite the kind “we should do this again sometime”, they wouldn’t meet each other for a second date.

After walking his date to their car, Nanami sighs, running his fingers through his hair. This one wasn’t as lucky either. Neither was the last, and the one before that, and the one before that…when did dating become so complicated? Even with this many ways to meet other people, the universe didn’t seem to help him much with his cards. Again, it wasn't like the people he met were horrible, they were always polite and even lovely, but it didn’t seem to click with any of them. Nanami was beginning to think that maybe he was looking for a spark that didn’t exist for many people, that he was having too high of expectations and he had to lower them to his dismay.

For now, he just wanted to be alone, maybe have something to get rid of that sad taste in his mouth once he got home. The drive was nothing noteworthy, simply love songs playing on the radio no matter how much he tried to avoid them by changing stations, almost as if the universe decided that mocking him was much more fun than helping him in his predicament. But eventually he gets home, but he also sees you. His neighbor was all dressed up and sitting by the entrance of the building with your phone in your hand.

Of course he knew you, but he had to admit he had to double check to confirm it was you. He just never caught you looking so…elegant like this, you were always rushing out of the building and coming back so exhausted from work that you always kept your appearance simple to make it easier to maintain. Not tonight. Tonight it was obvious that you took the time to impress someone: flowery dress with heels, blush and glossy lips, string earrings that match your necklace, along with a small purse that kept you company on the side. Another thing that was different was your face, not because of the make up but because of your expression. Rather than the bright and confident look that you always wore, you were looking down with a soured expression, letting out a frown as you put your phone down and buried your face in your hands.

While Nanami did know you, it wasn’t anything beyond neighbors. Hello and good evening accompanied by small talk for the sake of being polite, nothing more. But it wasn’t like he could just walk past you when you were obviously distressed. It might not be his place as a guy that happened to live in the same building as you, but he couldn’t ignore that you were alone outside and all dressed up. His mind made two and two together and decided to walk up ahead to you.

“Seems like I’m not the only one ending the night on a bad note.” Nanami said, trying to sound as casual as possible. He didn’t want to seem as if all he wanted was to downplay what you were going through.

You run your hands up through your hair, looking up at Nanami before you. Just like you, he was dressed quite elegantly, his blazer hanging around his arm and revealing the rest of his white shirt and black vest. He always dressed quite professional, being a businessman and all, as well as always looking quite stressed. Tonight though, he seemed let down, just like you did.

“You’re a man, right?” You asked, sounding gloomy. Before he could express his confusion to the question, you continued with, “explain to me why a guy would cancel a date five minutes before it.”

So it was as he thought, he got much luckier than you by not getting stood up by his date like you were. Offering a sympathetic chuckle, he sits down one the stairs with you. Not by your side but on the opposite side of the stairs to you. It was one thing for a date to not work like this, but it was another one to get canceled at the last minute, practically to be denied the chance to know whether or not it would lead to something more. It was a quite immature move to cancel so quickly and out of nowhere, especially when it seemed like you really put a lot of consideration into tonight if you looked like that.

“Do you want a polite answer or my answer?” He asks, bringing his hands together as he rests his elbows on his legs.

“Whichever is more real.” You mumbled.

Nanami sighs, looking up at the night sky as he searches for an answer. He didn’t want to make you feel worse, especially considering that your date’s actions are nowhere near your responsibility, but he knew how it could be so easy to beat yourself up over it if you looked distressed over it.

“Maybe he got cold feet at the last minute, realized that dating isn’t his thing or found someone else. Regardless, if he canceled minutes before your date, they are not worth your time if they disrespect you so quickly.”

You nodded, wrapping your arms around your legs and resting your head on your knees, looking straight ahead. Nanami could only hope that his words weren’t too harsh on you, so he decides to add onto his answer to soften whatever blow he might have landed.

“Besides, a man doesn't cancel a date so close to it. Maybe you got lucky avoiding such an immature guy just now.”

You chuckled, the corner of your lips lifting for a second in appreciation. You turn to look at him, your back resting against the stairs rail with a sigh.

“I know it has nothing to do with me or that I did something wrong, it’s just that I was excited for tonight. You know, that giddiness that comes on a date, getting to know each other, and…just hoping for more…”

As your words trail off, the two of you sit in silence, letting those feelings of disappointment come back up for Nanami. Those experiences you described were the ones he felt he was left out of tonight, instead getting brushed to the side at times by getting interrupted or his date focusing on something else other than their date together, as well as hoping for the date to either end or get better rather than wishing more of it. Of course, you probably felt the same as him, deprived of what so many people call the purpose of life. What a joke, he thought. If the purpose of life was to find someone you loved, then why was it so hard for some over others.

It felt weird for this to be his first conversation with you outside of small talk and other neighborly matters, but at the same time there was this odd comfort in knowing he wasn’t the only one feeling robbed of some romance for tonight, someone to share his misery with, even if you two were yet to know each other better.

“Being on the date isn’t easier either,” Nanami broke the silence with a light scoff.

You raise your brow at him, taking a good look up and down before asking, “Is that why you're all dressed up? I mean, you’re always looking very fancy and elegant. It’s just that tonight you looked like you were headed to somewhere nice.”

He chuckled, surprised at the subtle compliment, he doesn't comet much about it. “I did. It just wasn’t the date I was hoping for.”

You softened, your brows pinching together as your shoulders relaxed. “Was it that bad?”

“It wasn’t bad. She didn't do anything outrageous, but it was just uncomfortable. Not because of first date nerves, but because we didn't really click.” Nanami explained, shrugging his shoulders to show that it wasn’t that big of a deal. It wasn’t that things didn’t work out on this particular date that bothered him anyways, it was that things weren't working out for quite some time and it was growing frustrating for him.

You nodded, taking in his words as well as his frustration. It was a different kind of frustration to yours at the moment, but it was the same feeling. You two were still looking for that romance that simply didn’t seem to come to either of you just yet, no matter how hard you tried to find it.

“Seems like dating is hard for the both of us.” You chuckled, resting your head against the railing. “It’s too tricky. Maybe we should start a support group for the romantically challenged."

Nanami chuckles, no, he laughs. It was enough to lift up his spirits after bringing them down. He shrugs, looking at you with a sympathetic smile, “That would mean we would have to find other people to join in.”

“I think people would be embarrassed to even join. You know, between dating apps and all, they would feel like there’s no excuse to complain about being single.”

“Then it can be just the two of us. It seems like we understand each other right now.”

You smile, making Nanami’s mood improve when he sees that smile that you always wear. That smile simply pulls your look together, brighter than the jewelry you’re wearing and softer than the dress around your body. It was strange. He just came out of a nice restaurant, the kind that has a nice dinner with dim lights, and he was having much more fun at the stairs of his building with his neighbor. One moment frustrated that his date didn’t click and the next feeling his lips curl up because of your smile, a smile that was because of him.

It took a second for him to realize that he was smiling much more sincerely before you than he did before his date tonight, a smile that not only reached his cheeks but also his eyes. That his chest was warming up with that feeling he has been seeking for longer than just this evening. That things were clicking.

After a few seconds of silence, he speaks up, his voice softer and tender, “I should’ve said this before, but you look really pretty tonight.”

Your smile softens as your head tilts downwards to look down at your clothes, as if you had forgotten that you had gotten ready for tonight, before looking back up to him, “oh, thank you…you look very nice yourself. Well, you always do, considering that this…” you signal to his clothes up and down with your hand, “...is what you wear on a daily basis. It’s a really good look on you.”

He chuckles, looking downwards for a second as he thinks on what to respond before he realizes he has a blazer on his lap. He looks up at the sky, the moon high on the night with the stars shining all around it, making him remember your smile and the earrings that frame your face nicely. He thinks that sight of you looks just as beautiful as the sky right now…

“Thank you. I wasn’t saying it to be nice though. I meant it and it’s a shame that they canceled and missed out on such a lovely person.” He reaffirms, scooting a bit closer to you.

You hummed, not scooting away from him or pushing him away. In fact, it seemed like your eyes couldn’t drift away from him. Whether it was the moon shining on them or something else, there was a shine to them now. He liked it. He really really liked it.

“Say,” Nanami clears his throat, swallowing his nerves as he looks at you with a hint of shyness now that he realized how much of a reaction he was having at the moment, “since we’re both so dressed up, what if we go out for a drink? To end the night on a better note.”

You chuckled, nodding at his proposal as you extended your hand for him to grab. “Thought you never ask.” You say playfully, your smile reaching your eyes as they squinted slightly.

Nanami chuckles as well, getting up from the stairs and standing in front of you to take your hand. As he lifts you up the stairs, he wraps his blazer around you, meeting a soft “oh” from your lips. When you try to take it off, insisting that he doesn't need to, he shakes his head.

“Please, it’s already late out here and cold. At least until we reach my car.” He insists, tilting his head down towards you to meet your eyes.

You keep your hands on his blazer, pulling it closer to you by the edges of it as you thank him. It was a nice feeling, maybe this is what he meant earlier when he called the guy that stood you up as immature because here he was as his contrast. Nanami wasn’t even your date until a few seconds ago and he was already making you feel all those butterflies in your stomach, that giddiness, that excitement of getting to know him…maybe this was what it meant to go out with a man that knew the kind of relationship he wanted. Secure and upfront, but also tender and considerate.

Opening the door of the car for you, Nanami helps you into the seat and then walks around the car on his own, a genuine smile on his face as he drives off to a café you recommended just now. As he drove, those same love songs from earlier keep playing on the radio, making him thank the universe for letting things play out the way they were supposed to. Now, not only did he know you two would do this again soon, but he also got that spark he has been looking for with you.

[jobean12-blog]

Dressed to Impress

Pairing: Joel Miller x reader (Pre/No!Outbreak)

Word Count: 3,057

Summary: You and Sarah manage to convince Joel to dress up for Halloween. He's not too excited about it but agrees anyway. However, once he see's your costume...Halloween jus tmight be his new favorite holiday.

Author's Note: This is part of my kinktober celebration and the PPCU Halloween event. Thank you bunches to Sel @jupiter-soups and Harley @huffle-punk for setting it up! 💕💕love and hugs! I took two prompts; one from fluff: You and Sarah convince Joel to dress up for Halloween. He isn't thrilled. And one from smut: You surprise Joel by dressing up for Halloween as something that he has mentioned finding sexy. For the second prompt I didn't get specific because I figured it would be more fun for the reader to imagine their own sexy costume- whatever you wear- Joel LOVES it. I also want to thank my dear friends @flordeamatista and @mrsmischief209 for helping me with Joel's costume, you're both amazing! ❤️💕Thank you all so much for reading and much love always! ❤️❤️❤️

Warnings: it's fun and fluffy, silly and soft, lots of flirting and tension, Joel is sweet but definitely grumpy, reader has some sass, semi-public f-in-g-e-ri-ng, light d-ir-t-y talk, it's a whole ride lol

Kinktober 2023 Masterlist

Joel Miller Masterlist

“No.”

His hands land on his hips as he stares back at you.

“But Joel, it’ll be…”

Your words are cut off by his second, “no.”

“Joel!” you whine.

“Darlin’,” he warns.

You stick your bottom lip out in a pout and give him your best sad eyes.

“Still no,” he says.

You change tactics.

With a sweet smile you step into his space and press yourself against him.

“I know it’s not your favorite idea but don’t you want to do it for me? Make me happy?”

His hands falls from his hips and land on yours, pulling you closer.

“Now you’re playin’ dirty angel.”

Your lips curve into a wicked smile. “I can play much dirtier than this if you want.”

You lift your fingers to his hair and comb them through, lightly scratching his scalp before they slide down the back of his neck and trace his jaw.

With a light brush of your lips you whisper, “please Joel. Just this once. I promise it’ll be worth it.”

You kiss him before he can answer and you feel his low growl rumble through his chest as he pushes you against the wall of the bedroom.

With rushed hands you pull at his tee shirt, tugging it up and over his head. Your fingers caress his warm skin as his lips kiss and nip at your neck.

“Joel,” you moan.

He grabs your thigh, lifting it to spread you open so he can settle between you legs.

“Now who’s playing dirty,” you gasp when you feel his hardness press into your stomach.

His hand slides higher and his fingers dip into the waistband of your leggings.

“You started it,” he murmurs.

“Is that a yes then?” you ask, trying to keep your voice steady as his fingers tease your skin.

His cell phone rings before he can answer and you both let out a frustrated groan.

“One guess who’s callin’,” he grumbles.

He grabs his phone from his jeans pocket and flips it open, his eyes never leaving yours.

“Hey,” he says which you follow right after with, “hey tommy,” loud enough so he can hear it on the other end of the line.

Joel reluctantly releases you and takes a step back but his intense gaze tracks your every move while you fix your clothes.

As you start to walk out of the room you sing out, “since you didn’t say no that time, I’m going to take it as a maybe!”

Before you get out of the doorway he comes up behind you and smacks your ass, making you squeal. His arm wraps around your waist and he drags your back to his bare chest, his soft breath tickling your ear when he whispers, “a maybe.”

You can hear Tommy on the other end of the line asking what the hell is going and when you look over your shoulder Joel’s eyes are dark, his ‘maybe’ and so much more hanging in the air between you both.   

“How many times did he say no?” Sarah asks the moment you walk into the kitchen.

“Only three times,” you smile.

She blows out a raspberry and stabs her eggs with her fork.

“BUT!” you continue. “I think I’ve got him at a maybe now and if you lay it on thick we might be able to convince him.”

Sarah smiles deviously and when you hear Joel’s heavy footfalls on the stairs you both straighten your shoulders in preparation.

“Hey dad,” Sarah chimes brightly when he walks in.

You match her smile and offer him a hot cup of fresh coffee.

He looks between you both, his lips pursed and his eyes narrowed.

“Don’t even try…” he begins.

“BUT DAD,” Sarah interjects, “we all have to dress up. You can’t come trick or treating otherwise!”

“Who said I wanna go trick or treating?,” he says before sipping his coffee.

Both you and Sarah give him a stern look.

“YOU HAVE TO!” you both shout.

He sighs and sits down at the table.

“PLEASE,” Sarah says. “We can think of something awesome for you to dress up as.”

“I already have an idea,” you say, clasping your hands together in excitement. “You’ll look amazing.”

You wink at Sarah and she grins before turning pleading eyes to Joel.

You grab your plate and seat yourself on Joel’s spread thigh, curling into him and grabbing his fork to feed him a bite of eggs.

“Please,” you say softly.

Joel studies your face before he moves his eyes to Sarah.

“Fine,” he mumbles then takes the bite of eggs off the fork.

You and Sarah let out an excited cheer. Sarah hops out of her seat and comes around the table to kiss Joel’s cheek. You do the same on the other side.

He grumbles out something unintelligible but you can see the smile playing upon his lips.

“See you guys later,” Sarah says as she grabs her schoolbag and rushes toward the door.

Just before she’s out of the house she turns back and looks at Joel to say, “your tee shirt’s inside out.” Then she disappears out the door.

You giggle into your hand but quickly press your lips together to suppress any further joy when Joel pins you with a glare.

“Shit,” he says, looking down.

“Oops,” you say with feigned innocence and a shrug of your shoulders.

With a smug smile you hold up the fork again. “You have to eat more before you’re late.”

He looks up and takes the bite but then removes the fork from your hand.

“Oh I plan on it darlin’,” he simpers.

He swats at your ass until you get up and then promptly moves the dishes over and sits you on the edge of the table.

“Joel…” you breathe out as your arms wrap around his neck.

Just as his thumbs hook into your leggings you hear the loud clunk and roll of Tommy’s truck.

“Ah fuck,” Joel sighs, dropping his face to your neck.

You let out a little whimper and cling to him.

“Later,” he promises before kissing you softly.

Tommy barges in all smiles.

“Hey you two,” he greets.

Joel mumbles some form of a greeting and you go give Tommy a hug.

Tommy gives you a squeeze then looks to Joel. “What up his ass?”

“He agreed to dress up for Halloween this year,” you answer happily.

Tommy grins and walks over to Joel, slapping him on the back. “Shit brother, your girls can get you to do anything huh?”

You do a little happy victory dance as you place the dishes in the sink.

“Come on,” Joel says to Tommy, “let’s go.”

“What about my breakfast?” Tommy asks, checking the pan.

“We’ll pick you somethin’ up on the road,” Joel sighs.

You gently pat Tommy on the back. “There would have been pancakes but we’re out of mix.”

Tommy gives you a lopsided smile and then grabs the last piece of toast.

“See you later babe,” Tommy says before he heads back out to the truck.

He takes one last look at Joel, the toast dangling between his fingers as he points and says, “your tee shirt’s inside out.”

With another muttered curse Joel grabs the back of his shirt and pulls it over his head.

He stalks toward you at the counter, caging you against it with his arms on either side of your body.

“You,” he whispers as he leans in and bumps his nose along yours, “are all mine when I get home.”

“Is all this gel really necessary?” he asks as you run your fingers through his hair for the hundredth time.

You stand between his spread legs and look him over, adjusting a piece of hair here and there.

“Yes. It is,” you state. “Eeeeeee Joel!”

After wiping your hands you check his bow tie, pulling on the ends to tighten it before you straighten it again.

“PERFECT! Sarah get in here!”

You grab Joel’s hand and drag him to his feet. Sarah rushes in and immediately gives out a loud ‘whoop’ before laughing.

“Dad this is so good,” she says. “You look just like Gomez!”

Joel turns to look in the mirror, his expression full of his usual grumpiness.

“Well, you’ve already got the grumpy look down perfectly,” you tease.

He just scoffs as he lifts his fingers to touch his hair.

“DON’T!” you tell him. “Just leave it!”

“You look amazing,” you tell Sarah. “Super scary.”

Sarah smiles and does a twirl to show off the full affect of her costume.

“You look great sweetheart,” Joel says before his eyes slide back to you.

“What about you darlin’? Where’s your costume?” he asks.

“Oh, I’m going to get ready now,” you say with a twinkle of your fingers. “See you downstairs.”

You pepper his face with kisses before shooing him away.

You’re just applying the finishing touches to your make-up when you hear Joel coming up the stairs.

“Angel, are you almost rea….?”

His words die on his parted lips as he takes you in, his eyes traveling hungrily from your head to your toes.

“Well?” you ask, smoothing your hands down your body.

The grind of his jaw says it all and your smile grows.

“Joel…?” you purr. “Couldn’t wait for me to come downstairs?”

He walks all the way into the room and shuts the door.

“I wanted to see what was takin’ so long…”

“Well I’m ready now,” you sing with a sweet smile. “Let’s go.”

He stops you with his body, his heat washing over you and his mouth dipping to your ear.

“You think I’m goin’ trick or treating and to some party with you lookin’ like this?”

“Like what?” you ask, your tone demure.

The air between you is charged and disappearing by the inch.

“Darlin’,” he murmurs, his breathe a whisper along the shell of your ear.

You look at him through your lashes, the light scruff of his beard brushing your cheek and making you sigh out his name.

“We’re going to be late and Sarah is waiting….”

You step back and hear his sound of disapproval deep in his throat. It makes you shiver.

His eyes are glued to you as you turn and open the door and when you meet his gaze again it’s filled with heat and filthy promises.

When you enter the kitchen Sarah whistles loudly and grins. “WOW!”

You give her a bright smile and start toward the door. “Time to trick or treat!”

Once Sarah has plenty of candy you usher her off to her friends house for the night. They are having a sleepover with scary movies and lots of sugar.

As soon as Sarah is safely delivered to her new destination Joel settles his hand at your lower back and starts to push you back toward the house.

“Did you forget we have to stop by the neighbors house for the adult party?” you giggle.

He stops walking and presses himself against your back. “Don’t you think I’ve suffered enough today angel?”

“No,” you state, turning to face him. “I don’t think you’ve suffered at all in fact.”

Joel opens his mouth to argue but you press your finger to his lips.

“I’ve seen you smile and I know you love how much everyone is gushing over your costume and it won’t kill you to hang out with some friends for a couple of hours.”

He kisses your finger and then grabs your wrist to pull your hand away.

“An hour,” he growls.

“Two,” you counter.

He stares at you daringly, leaning forward and covering the inches between you, his eyes falling to your lips.

“And it’ll be your fault when I drag you somewhere dark and get my fingers inside you.”

Your breathy sigh is followed by a lick of your lips, Joel’s eyes following the movement with a hungry stare.

You don’t respond, not trusting yourself when your brain and body are consumed by him, and instead take his hand and move in the direction of the party.

“All the beer is still warm so I got you wine.”

You hold the glass out for him then search for a seat. When you see there aren’t any left you situate yourself on his thigh and rest yourself along his shoulder.

He takes a sip of the wine, eyeing you over the rim.

“Any good?” you ask.

Without an answer he curls his hand around the back of your neck and drags you down for a kiss, giving you a taste.

“Mm,” you hum against his lips. “Yummy.”

You chat with some of your neighbors, snacking and sipping your drink.

“You’re pulling off the whole grumpy Gomez thing really well,” you tease when there’s a lull in conversation.

“Who said I’m grumpy?” Joel replies with a smirk.

You dance your fingers up his chest and then lightly scratch them over his beard.

“I want another kiss,” you whisper.

He happily obliges but when you press yourself closer, shifting in his lap, he groans out a curse and pulls away.

At your questioning look he sighs.

“Darlin’…unless you want to stay in this chair for the rest of the night you better stop kissing my like that and wiggling your ass.”

You move again, unintentionally, and the hardness between his legs pushes against you.

“Oh,” you squeak. “Ohhh….”

He tightens his grip, his fingers digging into your skin in warning.

“Behave.”

“I’ll be good,” you promise with a slow blink.

“That’ll be a first,” he mutters.

You kiss him again, giggling when he starts to squirm beneath you.

“Oops.”

“I’d smack your ass right here and now if it weren’t for the creepy neighbor.”

“Creepy…?” you repeat and look around.

You lock eyes with your neighbor from across the street. He’s starting, his eyes blatantly roaming over your curves.

“I’m gonna knock his teeth out,” Joel threatens with a low rumble.

“He’s definitely drunk Joel. Not worth it.”

“He’s starin’ at what’s mine.”

You take Joel’s chin between your fingers, dragging his murderous gaze away from the neighbor until he’s focused on you.  

“Come on, let’s go get some fresh air,” you whisper.

You rise from his lap and he takes your hand, keeping you close as you work your way around the crowd of people in the living room. When you reach the back door he holds it open for you and ushers you outside, walking you toward a darkened spot on the side of the house.   

He lets out a deep exhale before grabbing your waist.

“Finally,” he says, in a hushed, rumbling voice as he pulls your back against his chest.

His hand slides along your side, tracing the curve of your waist before he closes his fingers around your wrist and lifts your hand to his mouth, kissing softly along your knuckles.

“What a Gomez move,” you tease lightly even as you melt into his embrace.

His free hand brushes along your shoulder and his fingers dance along your neck until he tilts your chin back, exposing more of your skin. With teasingly soft kisses he works his way to the spot just under your ear and whispers, “lift your dress.”

“Joel,” you breathe out, your voice wavering when he nips on your earlobe.

“Angel, I’ve waited long enough, don’t you think?”

His hands wander along your skin, kneading and squeezing as he goes. When he finds your ass cheek he grips it hard. You don’t answer, arching against him, and when he gives you a sharp smack you cry out.

“Is this my punishment?” you ask as you catch your breath.

He smacks you again, soothing the sting with soft caress.

“Lift your dress,” he repeats, his voice low and deep.

Your fingers reach down for the hem and you slowly lift the front, whimpering when his hand leaves your ass and slides across your stomach and between your legs.

“Someone might see,” you gasp even as you spread your legs for him.

“Fuck darlin’,” he groans when he feels the wet patch on your panties.

His finger brushes over the damp fabric and he wraps his other arm around your shoulders to keep you pressed to his chest, his touch torturously light.

When he pushes your panties to the side and slides his fingers through your arousal he lets out hum of satisfaction.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmurs.

His finger slips inside you easily, pumping slowly in and out as he continues his kisses along your neck.

“You feel beautiful, too.”

He slides a second finger into you and growls, the sound vibrating right through you.

“Joel please…please,” you beg as your legs start to shake.

His grip tightens and he pushes his fingers deeper, pressing on your clit with his thumb. You wiggle and writhe against him, chasing your release as it builds.

“Joel,” you hiss through gritted teeth, trying your best to remain quiet.

He curls his fingers just right and continues circling your clit, the tightening of your walls giving him enough warning to slide his hand over your mouth and muffle your cries as you buck against him.

You slowly come down and sag into his strong hold.

He draws out your pleasure, pumping his fingers with deliberation and whispering praises in your ear.

“That’s my good girl,” he coos. “Letting me to fuck you with my fingers even when someone might see.”

He still has his hand clamped over your mouth, softening your continued moans.

“I’m taking you home,” he states, leaving no room for argument. 

He slowly removes his fingers and releases his hold on you. You turn in his arms and watch as he slips his soaked fingers between his lips and licks them clean.

“First I’m goin’ to get a better taste and then I’m goin’ to fuck you good and hard.”

You let out a whimper of want and drag your hand down his chest, palming the hardness between his legs.

He stops you with a firm hold on your wrist and your lips part to argue but he interrupts, dipping his head and brushing his mouth across yours when he whispers, “no, not here angel. I don’t want to miss a single sound that falls past these pretty lips when I’m buried deep inside you.” 

@hiddles-rose @lorilane33 @littleseasiren @lizette50 @blackwidownat2814

[gglitch1dd]

A Wishful Time - Pt 5

Omega Bakugou x Omega Reader x Alpha Kirishima

Context: In the peaceful village of Yuuie, you and your best friend, Katsuki, hope to catch the eye of the Alpha of your dreams. Kirishima Eijiro.

Note: This story is OMEGAVERSE. This story takes place in a historical non modern setting so please take note of that when it comes to the jobs in society that the characters take and how they act. Bakugou Katsuki is an OMEGA. Reader and him are AFAB but there IS smut this chapter.

WARNING: SMUT, Threesome, Knots, BREEDING KINK (Cause it isn't a glitch1d fic if Eijiro Kirishima doesn't have a breeding kink), riding, knots and slick, Katsuki has a pussy btw. Just so that you guys don't get jumpscared if you forgot

[Masterlist]

Just like all news in Yuuie, it spread like wild fire that the two of you were being pursued by Eijiro the moment you entered the dining hall with neck ties around your necks. Suddenly the next big thing was the wedding that was to happen for the three of you. The next big wedding, which was going to be for the Kirishima family. To say that Takeo was ecstatic would be an understatement. He was absolutely thrilled to hear about the news and see the two of you wearing neck ties that dripped in his son’s scent. To say he couldn’t stop boasting about it would be a damn lie. Yua was pretty happy about the arrangement too, finding much happiness knowing her son was to be with Omegas that she deemed well fit for the family.

To say you and Katsuki were excited would also be an understatement. Katsuki was sure he nearly slicked his panties when he saw the smirk that Eijiro had on his face at the sight of the both of you walking into the grand hall with the scarf neck ties that he gave you. The two of you got swept up in so many preparations like getting your dresses and the flowers and the food, all that Eijiro tried to handle but he thought it best to leave all those planning stuff to you. He knew that whatever it would be like, as long as he got to marry the two of you, he couldn’t care less.

However, he did regret allowing you two, his mother, Tamami (who’s punishment had long ended as Takeo couldn’t bare to see his daughter sad anymore- spoiled her with a bunch of new kimonos too), Hizashi and Masaru work together. Because the next thing Eijiro knew was that it was time for a wedding and the town was bursting in white.

The wedding was beautiful to say the least. The ceremony happened in the church at sunset like all weddings. Eijiro was sure that the two of you were the most beautiful Omegas in the world. He couldn’t even remember most of what the priest said because he was busy staring at the two of you wondering how he got so lucky. It was a rare occasion that Katsuki himself had a smile so big and beautiful that Eijiro was sure it wasn’t real. You were so happy to see your best friend just as happy as you were and for one thing, that your greatest dream of being together would come true.

You sat next to Eijiro as he laughed loudly at a joke made by Tetsu. You laughed yourself moving to sip on wine while you were at it. It was late, the sun having long set and the smell of beef and smoke filled the air along with laughter and song. Your wedding was a cause of huge celebration that Kirishimas took very seriously. No cow was spared as a huge feast of dripping delicious beef with apple cider was served to everyone. Your new Alpha sat between you and your best friend, dressed as handsome as ever, his black hair holding braids in his hair holding flowers.

Takeo let out a loud boisterous laugh just like his son and other children, an arm around his wife. He picked up his large jug of apple cider as he stood up, clearing his throat. Him standing up was cause for everyone’s attention to go to him. The light from the bomb fire shone onto his face, illuminating his face as he cleared his throat. “I’d like to toast to my son and his new wives.” He motioned over to you, Katsuki and Eijiro. Everyone clapped and cheered, Eijiro smirked as he tightened his hold on the both of you. “To my new daughter and son-in-law,” Takeo looked to you and Katsuki with a smirk on his lips. “Welcome to the family.”

Yua nodded her head as hse stayed at her husband’s side. “May you be blessed, happy and-”

“And fruitful!” Takeo emphasised making laughs fill the air. You and Katsuki couldn’t help but look away flustered making Eijiro chuckle.

On that note, the music continue to play but you and Katsuki had your attention taken by Hizashi, Yua and Masaru. By the look on their faces, you instantly knew that it was time for the party to end for you two and for a different sort of occasion to start.

You turned to look at Eijiro, putting your other hand to cover his. “Eijiro…” The large black haired Alpha looked to you as he smiled lovingly. “Katsuki and I are heading to your home.” You told him softly.

At what you had just told him, Eijiro nodded his head understandingly. However, knowing what was going to happen in the next few minutes made the Alpha reach out to grab his cup of cider and down the entire thing before blood rushed down to his cock too quickly. “Alright.” He nodded his head as he looked over to you and Katsuki. He moved Katsuki’s hand up to his lips and gave him a gentle kiss. “I’ll see you both soon.” He stated truthfully.

Katsuki hummed. “Yes, you will.” The two of you stood up from the bridal table and moved away from all the loud laughter, the music, the drunken tails and the light of the large bomb fires.

You looked to Katsuki who had flowers in his hair and his eyes trained forward. You reached up and grabbed his hand causing him to turn to look at you. You gave him a gentle smile, filled with love and content. You watched him ease as he tightened his hold on, red sharp eyes always so soft when he looked at you. The two of you walked side by side, as you finally reached Eijiro’s home. You opened the door, allowing Katsuki in and you closed the door right behind you.

“Quickly!” Immediately you and Katsuki were grabbed as you were dragged off towards the spare room next to the bathroom. You both barely got time to react as you were both stripped out of your wedding clothes.

“HEY!” Katsuki shouted as he was shoved next to you. “WHA-” He could barely complete what he was going to say as the both of you were splashed with water. You gasped as you were now wet.

Yua looked at the both of you sympathetically as she stood before the both of you. “Sorry you two, we have to be fast about this.” She told you gently as Masaru and Hizashi went to quick work on scrubbing you both clean rather roughly (Masaru seemed to take more care to Katsuki than Hizashi was to you- He seemed like he wanted to peal your skin off). “You both know from your education what is going to happen tonight and-”

“Don’t take it all at once!” Hizashi interrupted her with a bright smile on his face.

Masaru whipped his head to look at the blond Omega with wide eyes and a blush to his cheeks and ears just like Katsuki. “Hizashi!” He chastised silently.

Hizashi looked to Masaru confused, his eyebrows furrowed as he raised his hands up confused. “What did I say?! It’s true! I don’t want them to hurt themselves.” He motioned to the both of you as he moved to hand you a towel, allowing you to finally dry off. Hizashi put his hands on his hips as he let out a low chuckle. “And if he is anything like his father, lord knows that they shouldn’t take it all at once. Right Yua?”

Said redheaded Omega had her eyes closed as she took out a deep sigh. She shook her head, a blush on her own cheeks as she looked back at the two of you. “Hizashi is… correct. You’ll understand soon but remember as much as this is about finalising your marriage,” She took a few steps towards the both of you, her smile warm and motherly. “It is also about loving yourselves.” She took both your hands. “And loving your new Alpha who has been waiting far too long.

You were alone again, Katsuki bustled around the bed, pushing in the quilt that was scented by the entire Kirishima family at the bottom of the nest. You carried one final pillow to add in to the side, trying to make the nest as bountifully soft as it looked. You and Katsuki had your own little nesting room downstairs under the stairwell but for tonight you had used up most of the items from your nests back at your homes to fuse one together. It wasn’t the first time you both made a nest together, especially after Eijiro proposed, the two of you barely spent a night away from each other, but now this nest was special.

Katsuki carefully got out of the nest, moving to look back at it. He looked it over with a critical eye, a frown on his face as he focused on the bed. You could see the critical eye of a designer in him. You chuckled as you moved to wrap your arms around him. “Katsuki…” You spoke sweetly as you placed a kiss to his neck. “It’s fine. We’ve done a great job.” You reminded him sweetly as you scented his neck.

You felt the blond’s shoulders relax at the feeling of your skin against his. He let out a sigh as he turned over to you. You cupped his face in your hands as he closed his eyes. “I’m sorry. I just…” He started lowly.

You shushed him sweetly as you placed a kiss to his forehead. “He’s going to like it. Its big enough for the three of us and more.”

He nodded his head, trusting your words. The fire in the hearth blazed on, providing the only warmth and light to the room. The both of you stood in each other’s arms, naked as the day you were born, smelling fresh out of a bath but your scents hung thick in the air. Katsuki looked up at you with fire in his eyes and love in his soul. He put a kiss to your lips making you giggle, but accepted the kiss gratefully. You were both just waiting on Eijiro, but you had time to kill until then.

Katsuki pushed closer to you, bringing you both chest to chest as he cupped the back of your head and kissed you earnestly. You hummed into the kiss, moving your hands to rest on his thin waist. Katsuki keened as he moved his lips to your neck, need bubbling in his abdomen since the beginning of the day. He let out a heavy warm breaths against your necks, between kisses and licks making you whine into the air. “Nest.” He breathed out.

You nodded as the two of you moved to fall back into the soft nest you both made. Katsuki had you straddling him on top, your legs at either side as he kissed you once again, but this time wanting more. You didn’t mind the mess of saliva around your mouth as you felt his hands roam your own body as you did to him in turn. His hands moved to grasp your ass, pulling your cheeks apart his fingertips brushing your nether lips.

You gasped against his mouth. His name falling off your lips. You moved your own hands to cup his puffy fat pecs pulling a whine out of him. He always got more sensitive near his heat. Maybe that’s what was getting into him. You couldn’t help but smirk at the motion. He dragged a finger down your slit, allowing the slick that had accumulated to drip down onto his own waiting and aching cunt. You pressed down, pushing your sex against his, making a sticky wet sound that had you both whining.

The door to the bedroom opened and you both turned towards it. Eijiro paused at the sight in front of him. Shirtless with his pants hanging low was the Alpha of the day, who felt as though this was some wet dream that he had when he was younger and a newly presented Alpha. He took a deep breath in, his eyes almost fluttering shut at the smell of arousal and slick in the air from the two of you, mixing together so harmoniously.

You then heard a pleased rumble from the Alpha’s chest, his own scent coming to your noses showing his love for what he was seeing. You and Katsuki both looked to one another before immediately scrambling onto your knees in front of him. You were kneeled next to one another, waiting for him to come closer.

The large Alpha closed the door behind him as he walked inside. He moved to stand at the foot of the bed, in front of the both of you. You could both already tell that the Alpha was aroused by the two of you, his cock straining in his pants as he stood in front of the both of you. He put his hands underneath your chins, forcing the two of you to look up at him. You purred at the feeling of his warm hand as you pushed further towards him. Katsuki keened as he sunk lower into the nest, almost dropping right then and there.

Katsuki was getting closer to his heat and it was effecting you as well. With the way things were looking, it would seem like tonight would be more than just about consummating your new marriage. Eijiro rumbled as he gently caressed your faces. He leaned back to take a good look at you, making you both nervous. It was time for the Alpha to asses the both of you which was quite the agonising experience.

He moved to you first, looking over at your face before travelling down your body. Every full, flat, curvy, straight part of your body was under his scrutiny. Every scar and every imperfection open for him to see.

“Present.”

A simple order that had you instantly moving to turn around, your chest down against the bed putting your ass up into the air. Katsuki had to bite back his instincts, knowing he had to be patient for his turn. Eijiro put his hands on the curvature of your back before moving up to your ass. He hummed before moving down towards your aching cunt. He dragged a finger down your slit making your hips twitch but nothing more. He put his finger to his lips and a loud rumble escaped him. He approved of you. More than just approved, he loved you.

Next was Katsuki, who would never admit to being anxious about this despite what his scent was saying. Eijiro looked over perky puffy tits that were basically calling for attention with standing nipples, he looked over flawless pale skin with a thin waist and wide hips. Eijiro used the same order on the blond, forcing him to do the same as you, fat ass out as he allowed Eijiro a beautiful sight of his sex on display just for him. Eijiro squeezed the blond’s ass before dragging a finger up Katsuki’s slit making the blond’s ass push back, wanting him to sink his fingers inside his hot heat.

Eijiro licked at the slick on his finger with another rumble. He approved of Katsuki. He approved of the both of you. He loved him.

At the indication, you both moved to grab a hold of him.

You both wanted to drag him into your nest, making him laugh as he barely got time to pull his pants down. The two of you needing him enough that you didn’t care about his now naked state until you both had him pushed down against the bed, facing up to look at you. Your Omega made you stop and gape at the size of his cock. It made slick gush out of you at the sight of that thing claiming you and your best friend. Katsuki was always more of a physical learner as he moved to grab a hold of it, his fingers barely touching as it was so heavy hard that it could barely stand.

Eijiro sucked in a breath at the feeling of Katsuki’s hands on him. Just like how he did, you both assess him. You both looked over the large Alpha. He was a perfect example of an Alpha mate. He had a good big body that would no doubt ensure that your pups would be just as strong as him. Large calloused hands of work and experience and yet you knew those hands would also had blood stained on them to protect the both of you. However, where you and Katsuki were more focused on was between his legs.

Katsuki moved his hand up and down Eijiro’s cock drawing a groan out of the Alpha. With Katsuki inspecting his cock like it was something he had made himself; you became aware of the pair he had behind it. You let out a chirp, gaining Katsuki’s attention. Large big breeder balls. Big enough that you were sure you could only fit one in your mouth at a time. Katsuki watched as your pupils grew in fascination and need. You swallowed down hard as you placed yourself between his legs, quickly gaining Eijiro’s attention away from his cock. Katsuki tilted his head as he dropped Eijiro’s cock and moved beside you.

You glanced up at Eijiro, into his ruby eyes. The Alpha wasn’t entirely sure what that look in your eyes was about. Or he didn’t until he felt your warm hot mouth wrapped around his balls. Immediately a moan came out of his chest as his thighs tensed for a second before relaxing. The moment you witnessed his reaction it was as if you were trying to swallow him whole, appreciating and licking every part of what made Eijiro a breeder almost as if giving thanks to it. He was so big, probably so full of cum and it almost made you gush at the thought of him putting all that seed inside you.

Katsuki watched the way slick dripped down your thighs as your Omega put you in the mindset of pleasuring your alpha, thanking him for what he would give you in the future. Katsuki placed a kiss to your neck before returning back to Eijiro’s cock. It was thick that’s for sure. Big and thick and made to fill up an Omega. It ran hot in his hand, a slight twitch at all your actions and had a prominent vein that ran up the shaft that Katsuki just wanted to follow with his tongue. So, this was an Alpha’s cock? He had heard only bits and pieces from blushing Omegas about their Alpha’s but he didn’t expect this. It made his Omega preen in approval.

Good Alpha. Give us great pups. Perfect Alpha for Y/N and us.

Katsuki noticed that as he stroked it, something was coming out from the head of it. Precum… he thought. If his Omegan studies in Alpha biology taught him anything, it taught him that that was a good sign. He leaned forward and decided to do what his inner thoughts wanted and licked up the underside. The groan that left the Alpha vibrated through him and straight to his cunt. Katsuki glanced at you as you whined in need at the sound of Eijiro.

Katsuki hummed as he looked down at the cock in his hands. So that was a good thing. The blond placed his mouth around the head of Eijiro’s cock making him moan once more. Eijiro wasn’t sure what the hell they were teaching Omegas but he was sure that he wasn’t going to last very much longer with the both of you treating his sex as if it was a gift sent from the heavens. He sat up as he grabbed the closest of the two of you, that just so happened to be Katsuki.

The blond let out a surprised, chirp, red eyes growing wider as Eijiro sat up, separating you from your new favourite thing to put in your mouth. You frowned but watched as Eijiro sat Katsuki on his lap and grabbed you too. He wasn’t sure how he was going to do this with two Omegas, but whatever worked, worked. He took a moment to actually think without his dick in the way.

Which was harder than he thought.

“Omegas. Present.”

The both of you glanced at each other but moved to present in front of him. Next to one another, he could swear the view was the best thing in the world. He hummed as he noticed the two of you were already very wet. So he decided it would be best to slide a finger inside the both of you. You gripped onto the blankets tightly at the feeling of your hole stretch around one of his full fingers. Katsuki let out a small squeak at the feeling but nothing more. Slowly, Eijiro moved his finger in and out, getting the two of you to adjust to the size of his finger. You weren’t entirely sure why he was stretching you out first, and not just knotting one of the two of you already but you weren’t going to complain.

It was an odd feeling at first, you had never thought to put a finger up there, even in the throughs of your heat where you were aching and had no idea what to do, you always just went to the one thing that gave you the most pleasure and that was your clit, but now… you couldn’t deny that your Omega felt relaxed feeling that something was finally inside of you. You hummed as you moved your ass back to try and take more of his finger inside you.

You were both so warm and wet around his fingers, it made him wonder how on earth either one of you would feel on his cock. He watched as your cunts stretched to allow his finger to move and wiggle inside you, slick dripping past his finger, to your thighs and down his hand. He noticed that you both seemed ready for a second finger so he followed suit.

Katsuki let out a whine as he buried his face in the blankets that made the bottom of the nest that the two of you had made. The stretch burned and yet deliciously so. The sounds he was making were embarrassing and honestly it was only hitting him now that he was nude in front of an Alpha, in front of his Alpha. It made him feel all the more insecure again and yet what more could he be insecure about when he was stuck face down already.

Why couldn’t the stupid Alpha just put his knot in already and get all of this done with?

Katsuki turned to look at Eijiro. He whined as he pushed back against his finger making him chirp in surprise at a certain part inside him getting brushed against. “Knot.” He pleaded. “Just… just put it in already. We can take it. Just-”

Eijiro stopped as he took his fingers out of Katsuki and put a slap to his ass. The blond Omega let out a groan, his eyes going hazy for a second. Eijiro frowned as he looked down at Katsuki. “No. Stretch or Omega will get hurt. No hurt.” His broken speech showed just how much his Alpha had control over him right now. You could see it in his eyes too, deep ruby eyes that looked down stern and were yet blown out hugely by black pupils. “Patient.” Katsuki whined but Eijiro let down a low growl and another slap to Katsuki’s ass forcing the Omega to arch more in a whimper. He let another final warning before pushing in two of his fingers again.

You were happily enjoying the feeling of two- now three, of his thick fingers inside you, finding it all such an odd but wonderful feeling. Katsuki looked over to you as you wiggled your hips and purred in content at the feeling. You met his gaze, your eyes warm and inviting. You giggled at the blush over his face, moving to nuzzle your face beside his. He relaxed at the physical contact, letting out a purr of his own at the feeling of you against his own skin.

With Katsuki distracted by you, Eijiro could finish stretching you both open as he made his decision on what to do next. Your were much more pliant and for the most part, it would be easier to have you later than Katsuki.

With that, Eijiro pulled his fingers out from you and Katsuki’s soft and wet cunts. You let out a breath, missing his thick large finger inside you. Eijiro bent down and pressed a kiss to your spine. “You’ll be right after Katsuki.” He whispered down to you, moving his hand up and down your thigh comfortingly. You smiled back at him and nodded your head. Since you were okay with it, Eijiro focused on Katsuki.

He looked down at the blond Omega. A rumble came out of his chest as he analysed him. Katsuki was looking back at him with unsure red crimson eyes that were filled with anxiety but also filled with lust for the Alpha behind him. He shuffled back to have his ass up and right against Eijiro’s cock.

“Katsuki…” Eijiro spoke lowly, a hand resting on Katsuki’s flank, trying to be as comforting as possible while the other guided his cock too his entrance. “Are you okay with this?” He asked softly.

Katsuki didn’t answer immediately, looking away from the redheaded Alpha for a moment. It only took him a second before he looked back at him with a determined look, his face set into a cute frown as he raised his nose. “I can take whatever it is, big red.” He spoke confidently.

Eijiro looked down at him speechlessly for a moment before chuckling. He nodded his head, not surprised and also happy to see Katsuki’s spitfire energy back.

With Katsuki’s approval he decided to go forward with the plans off the night. The Alpha took a deep breath as he pushed his head to Katsuki’s hot lips. He sucked in a breath as he saw the slick that spilled onto his tip. He could feel his self-control slipping within milliseconds. He slowly pushed in, his cock, the head slipping in. Katsuki sucked in a breath at the intruding feeling, his eyes widening at the fact that he actually had an Alpha’s cock inside him. Eijiro felt like he was in heaven, Katsuki’s warm heat wrapped around him so tightly made the redheaded man drunk on the feeling as he pushed further in with a groan.

Katsuki moaned as he held the blankets and furs underneath him, a yelp escaping his lips at the almost painful feeling of almost the entirety of Eijiro’s cock inside him. Eijiro stopped, knowing not to push him too much the first time. Despite not having the entirety of his cock inside of the blond, he still felt just as much in heaven regardless.

A groan escaped the Alpha’s mouth as he looked down at the way Katsuki’s hole sucked on his cock, pulling and keeping him inside. “Fuck…” He whispered as he couldn’t keep his eyes off of where him and Katsuki were joined together. “Such a good Omega. You’re so perfect for me.” He praised.

Katsuki buried his face into the nest, feeling flustered, a purr erupting from his chest at the praise that he was receiving. He could barely breathe nor think straight. He was perfect. He was a good Omega. Good Omegas can take their Alphas like this. And Katsuki?

Katsuki was the best omega there was.

His purr increased in volume as his back arched more, his hips wiggling, trying to keep Eijiro’s attention.

You let out a low giggle as you watched Katsuki enjoy himself in the throughs of pleasure. You ran a hand through his soft blond hair, trying to allow him to relax and enjoy himself. Your Katsuki let out a chirp as he raised his head, pressing against your hand. He looked up at you, his beautiful eyes all for you. You reached down and kissed his forehead, causing his eyes to close shut at the feeling of your affection.

Before Katsuki could bask in all the attention and praise he felt Eijiro pull out almost entirely leaving just the tip of his cock in before pushing back in. The dragging of his thick cock inside of him, made the blond Omega moan unhindered. His pussy spasming as he clenched around Eijiro’s thick cock. With such a positive sound out of one of his Omegas, Eijiro slowly built-up a pace, fucking into Katsuki’s cunt.

“Oh…” Katsuki moaned. He had never felt anything like it. Nothing as completing as being one with an Alpha like this. His husband. His Alpha. “Yes… yes, Eijiro.” He spoke softly into the sheets as his ass moved back against Eijiro’s pelvis. The blond Omega couldn’t stop himself from moving his hips back, meeting Eijiro’s thrusts as he purred loudly.

Eijiro’s large hands gripped Katsuki’s hips so tightly it was almost as if he was afraid that the Omega would disappear. Katsuki’s tight cunt squeezed his cock perfectly, the feeling of him massaging his cock with his soft velvety insides made Eijiro’s head face up with a low groan. He looked back down at Katsuki who had a sultry look on his beautiful face, crimson eyes filled with lust and wanting. Eijiro couldn’t help but smirk. The spitfire Katsuki, the one who was tough and unpleasant was here purring out a storm for him, smelling as sweet and divine as dessert.

With Katsuki adjusted to Eijiro’s cock, the Alpha decided to fasten up his pace. Eijiro pulled Katsuki up, his back against his large chest as he kept one hand on the smaller man’s hips and the other over his chest. The change in position made Katsuki moan as he sunk back, eyes fluttering as he looked up at the Alpha he was now mated to. The mark on his neck throbbing. His eyes, as perfect as dolls, looked up at the Alpha as he purred. His smaller body fitted perfectly against the broader tanned body of his Alpha.

Before Eijiro could even do anything, you moved up onto your knees in front of him. Eijiro’s greatly dilated pupils watched you as you moved to face Katsuki, the Omega who was now wrapped around his cock had his attention moved over to you. You moved to kiss the blond Omega, your hands moving up his pale slim body. Katsuki shivered at the ecstasy of your touch, your hands always knowing how and where to touch him without a hint from him. Your thumbs moved to his large pecs, your thumbs brushing against his perked up pink puffy nipples making him gasp.

Eijiro’s eyebrows raised in surprise, knowing he was sensitive there now. With you occupying Katsuki’s front, Eijiro moved to hold onto the Omega in front of him. His large calloused hands gripped Katsuki’s pale skin as he pounded up into the Omega. The harsh thrust made Katsuki’s glistening lips separate from yours with a cry.

Eijiro let out a grunt as he fucked into Katsuki hard and fast, slick dripping down his cock. Katsuki’s body jostled forward into your hold as he did so. Katsuki’s arms were wrapped around your neck as you had your head buried between his pecs, biting and sucking at them.

Katsuki’s eyes rolled back at the relentless assault onto his insides. Eijiro’s thick cock hit a spot inside him that had him seeing stars. “FUCKING- EIJIRO!!” He cried out as Eijiro continued the assault on his insides. The large Alpha let out a loud growl as he tightened his grip on the Omega. “THERE! RIGHT THERE! Right-” You had your hands holding his full pecs, kissing and sucking on his right nipple. You twisted and pinched his left one, his areola puffy and pink. His breath stuttered as his hips twitched. The pleasure and pain were too much all at once. A mewl stumbled out of his lips, his pussy tightening as you fondled his tits. “I- I-” The words were taken right out of Katsuki as he felt a sort of pleasure run over his body that he had never felt before.

His cunt tightened around Eijiro viciously as a high pitched keen escaped his throat. His thighs shook as he held onto you tightly. Katsuki’s orgasm wrecked through his body like a wave crashing down on the shores. Slick squirted out of him, wetting his thighs. You shushed him sweetly as you held him in your arms, his mind blank and empty.

Eijiro let out a groan at the feeling of his spasming pussy. “Oh fuck! Yes.” He growled as he tightened his grip, fucking him through his orgasm. You could tell by the look in his eyes that Eijiro had lost himself to the throughs of pleasure as his Alpha seemed to only have on goal in mind. His rapidly growing knot sat at the base of his cock, moving in and out of Katsuki as he fucked him harder. Saliva dripped from his fangs as he was focused on purely breeding Katsuki. “Fuck, fuck, fuck! Such a good fucking Omega.” He growled. “Gonna take my knot. Gonna give me pup.”

Katsuki mewled as you finally let go of his nipples. He gasped, his lips separating as he took in air. He moved back against Eijiro, moving his head underneath Eijiro’s as he moved his arms to wrap around Eijiro’s neck to keep him against him. “Give it to me.” He whispered in pleasure. “I want it.” He nodded his head pleadingly, begging him to do so. “I want it so bad. Give me your knot~”

Eijiro’s large hand took Katsuki’s jaw, angling it away before licking over the fresh new bite mark at his neck. It made the blond Omega mewl at the electricity that ran up his spine. Eijiro could feel his building orgasm. He was getting restless as he moved to bite Katsuki’s mark again. At the taste of the blond’s skin, his blood and his tightening muscles that made up his soft cunt, Eijiro’s couldn’t help but to come undone.

His eyes rolled back as he let out a deep groan as his cock twitched as his knot pushed inside of him. Katsuki yelped at the large knot that was pushing his hole to his limit. It was so big and thick, fitting Katsuki so well that he was sure that he was going to break into two. Eijiro groaned as he spurt cum inside of Katsuki’s warm unprotected womb. Katsuki sunk back, relaxing with a purr from his chest. He looked down at his abdomen, looking down at his distended stomach. Eijiro’s cock and the amount of cum inside him. It made him feel surreal. It made him feel… whole.

Eijiro took his teeth out of Katsuki’s neck, letting out a heavy breath. He looked down to see Katsuki was purring up a storm, his soft tufts of blond hair resting as his head leaned against his neck. Eijiro let out a stuttered breath as he put a kiss to Katsuki’s head. He looked up at you, where you sat in the nest with a content smile, happy to see them enjoying each other. Your eyes moved to Katsuki as you pushed yourself up. A small chirp and purr came out of you as you moved to put your forehead against his, putting a hand to his side. Katsuki’s red eyes opened tiredly as he looked at you. His eyes were soft as he reached a hand to you. You moved to hold onto him, your purr growing in volume as you nuzzled his face. Katsuki had a soft blush on his face as he held you. Surprising the blond, Eijiro rumbled loudly as he moved to nudge his nose against the nape of Katsuki’s neck before settling his head on top of the blond and putting a hand to your own neck to hold you too.

Katsuki was so grateful to be here. He couldn’t believe he was here. He couldn’t believe that he was between the two people he wanted more than anything in the world. Tears came to his eyes as he felt so happy.

“Eijiro! Alpha! Alpha right there!”

You hopped up and down on Eijiro’s dick, your face warm with a flush as Eijiro held your hips to fuck up into you as you bounced down on him meeting his thrusts. Your Alpha lay back in your nest, a tired smirk on his face as he watched you jump up and down. You had your hands resting on his chest as he moved up and down his cock, your thighs burning at all the effort you had put in.

You flipped your head back, your hands moving up to your chest to grab at your nipples as you bounced. You let out a loud moan as you closed your eyes for a moment. Eijiro noticed that you were starting to get tired but so desperate to reach that high. He let out a soft moan as he held your hips and took full control. You let out a choked groan as you tightened around him, causing him to grunt.

Katsuki, Eijiro and you had been fucking like animals since the moment the three of you were alone. You barely even ate anything because you all seemed so insatiable with each other. You couldn’t stop yourselves from touching and holding each other. Eijiro found it hard now to even think of a time where he thought that the two of you were so innocent and virtuous when either you or your blond best friend had your pussies wrapped around his cock or sitting on his face.

If this is what married life looked like, Eijiro regretted not claiming the two of you sooner.

A growl came out Eijiro’s mouth as his eyebrows furrowed, his feet planting onto the bed as he fucked into you viciously. You gasped as you looked down. The lewd squelches of your creamy cunt felt so loud but nothing compared to your moans. You rolled your eyes back in bliss. “YES! YES! FUCK-” A squeal interrupted you as your body tensed. Thick slick dripped out from your cunt where the two of you were joined, his cock getting doused in a layer of thick creamy slick, dripping down him.

At the feeling of you cumming on his cock, your cunt milking him for everything he got, he groan as he slammed his knot inside you. You relaxed down where you sat on top of him with a sigh. You enjoyed the feeling of more of his warm cum entering you, staying safe all within your womb. You hummed as you reached down to rest your hands on his chest again as you rolled your hips against him, grinding down on his knot and cock.

The door opened behind the both of you, exposing Katsuki in a loose oversized shirt that belonged to Eijiro and an apron. The smell of breakfast wafting in from the kitchen. He leaned against the doorway as he watched the both of you. Love marks and bruises littered his neck and body, the shirt being big enough that you could see them all. “Breakfast is ready.” He notified you two. “Alpha.”

Eijiro hummed as he tilted his head to look past you, the sunlight falling in from the kitchen window making Katsuki’s hair illuminate in the sun. He motioned with one hand for Katsuki to come forward. The blond Omega blushed but walked over to him. “Omega.” Eijiro rumbled as he took Katsuki’s hand as he pulled him closer to the two of you.

Katsuki’s ears went red but he swallowed hard as he continued with what he wanted to say. “Your mother stopped by.” He informed him. “She wants us there for dinner. Everyone will be there.” Eijiro hummed as he held Katsuki’s hand, brushing his thumb over his knuckles while moving his other hand up and down your side. “Do you want to go?”

Eijiro was silent for a moment as he thought. He smiled gently before looking up at the both of you. “It seems, my beautiful wives, that our three days of heaven are over.” He spoke gently. “It is high time we see our family again and get to work on what is needed to be done.” He said with a heavy sigh. “But oh how I wish I could just stay in here with you two for all eternity.”

You chuckled you leaned down to lay on top of Eijiro, your arms keeping your head up as you looked over at him. You placed a kiss onto his jaw as he moved his hands up and down your back. “Eijiro, you have us for the rest of eternity. Should you need us, we are here.” You remind him. “Whatever it is, whatever you want.”

“Katsuki, can you sit on my face? I’m thirsty.”

The question made the blond perk up with a surprised chirp, his face flushing a deep red making you both chuckle. You reached a hand over to your best friend, taking his other hand, amused by his reaction. Katsuki looked away from you and Eijiro with a frown. “You will spoil your breakfast.” He stated simply as his excuse not to wind back into bed with the two of you.

Eijiro let out a soft whine at not being able to get one of his new favourite drinks. You chuckled as you moved to moved some of his black strands of hair out of his face. “Alpha, what do you need from us to do at home while you’re busy?” You asked him. It was something that needed to be discussed considering that you were now married in the Kirishima family and chores might be different that what you and Katsuki did back at home. Katsuki nodded, wanting to know too.

Eijiro hummed as he thought for a moment. “You might need to talk to my mom and Tamami about all of them, because I’m not entirely sure what femmes do.” He let out as he scratched the top of his head. “All I know is you do everything and if you all disappeared, I’d be a very lost masc.” You giggled along with Katsuki but nodded at what he was saying. It made sense to ask Yua considering she was the Head Omega of the Kirishima family, she would know everything. “But that can wait till later.” Eijiro slowly sat up, keeping one arm around you as you sat up, holding you as he did so. “Right now…” You felt his hand move up and down your back making you purr against his chest as you closed your eyes and relaxed. He let out a low chuckle as he looked up at Katsuki who was pulled over to be wrapped up in Eijiro’s arms. “I just want to enjoy my family.”

-Glitch1d

[madnessandentropy]

Catra's Abuse of Adora Has No Excuse

I know this is an old series. I know a lot of people don't believe in talking negatively about shows that have already ended and that it doesn't matter anymore.

But it matters to me.

Because spop has framed the abuse victim in this story as the idiot and the one in the wrong, the one who should've just stayed with her abuser and never "left" her, while the abuser gets off scott free and likely continues her actions.

Victim blaming very and real and prevalent, forgiving or defending abusers in real life is very real and prevalent.

This is an important thing to call out and discuss because what you put in your creations affects reality.

Spop IS a kids show, and kids often accept what they're exposed to as the norm or as something to copy. You can't just sweep it under the rug, saying it's just a show.

So that's why I want to talk about Catra and why all the trauma in the world does not sxcuse abusing your partner, or at the very least should not frame your partner as the one in the wrong for wanting to leave you.

Okay.

Catra is a character adored and worshipped by the fandom and defended with cult-like ferocity and obsession (death threats, gaslighting, doxxing, bullying, etc).

Many of her actions are actively ignored and excused by the fans and writiers, especially the main thing about Catra:

Her blatant abuse of Adora

I can hear the cries of outrage now

"You're just homophobic! Of course you criticise the queer couple! You just hate Catra! Catra is a victim of a abuse! They're in a war! Catra said sorry! But Catra loves Adora! You don't know what abuse is!"

And then they write an essay about Catra's sad backstory

In response to this I would like to quote one of my favourite B99 characters Jake Peralta:

Or in this case:

"Cool backstory, still abuse"

I really like Catra.

She's a cool character and an excellent villain. She has a very interesting and complicated psyche, a result of growing up in the Horde. A toxic, abusive environment that gave her attachment issues and likely ptsd and other problems. She lashes out because of her trauma, she is aggressive and rude so that she isn't vulnerable, to avoid being hurt.

There are many reasons for her actions, but it does not excuse them even if the narrative does.

Expecially her actions towards Adora, the person's she supposed to have loved all this time.

As I've said in another post, most abuse in media isn't very subtle because people still don't really take subtle abuse that seriously and often blame the victims. (Which is a whole other kettle of fish)

Not subtle abuse in media often consists of the following:

•Screaming or yelling at your partner, tearing apart their self esteem or threatening them

•Gaslighting/guiltripping them*

•Hitting them or physically assaulting them in any way

•Trying to kill them

•The victim is immensely afraid of/distressed by their abuser

*Note for this: it can depend on the depiction because its either abusive and in your face or romantic and just trying to help you depending on the story and writer

It astounds me to see Catra has done every single one of this things to Adora, and both the fandom and the writers excuse it or say "it isn't abuse, actually"

I'm gonna go through each bullet point and discuss how Catra does these things, mention excuses fans make up for it and point out their errors

Let's go

•Screaming and yelling at your partner, tearing apart their self esteem and threatening them

Catra is not someone who screams her throat raw, but she does yell when she lashes out and does so often at Adora.

She's constantly insulting her intelligence, making her doubt herself, telling her nothing she does matters, calling her weak and demeaning her.

She rips into her and treats her like trash beneath her heel when they were in the fake reality.

Again, we often see Adora repeating a similar rhetoric, believing what Catra and SW say fully or sometimes starting to believe it.

DURING her confession, Catra calla Adora an idiot. While Adora is basically dying, in this crucial moment for both of them, she resorts to insulting her intelligence.

"But her feelings were so obvious and Adora didn't notice!"

Let me tell you, spop has a massive tell don't show problem. This defence could've easily been true IF the writers bothered with evem something small like Catra hesitating to harm Adora or treating her with more care when fighting than with her other enemies, or at the very least treating her kindly.

They have done none of that. Instead they had other characters (E.g Horde Prime) talk about how much she cares for Adora and how strong her emotions are for her.

Literally the only way anyone could've known Catra loved Adora is through these characters giving exposition.

Adora is not an idiot for not realising Catra loved her, because Catra's actions do not show love or even an ounce of basic respect.

Making Adora doubt her intelligence and abilities is not love. Mocking Adora the way she does is not love. Torturing Adora is not love.

Telling Adora that she was a mistake and that "none if this would've happened if you didn't come through that portal" is not love.

Nothing she does to Adora is an act of love.

And also, not being very good at deciphering or recognising emotions that are "obvious" does not make you stupid, jfc

"Catra just says those things because she's angry, she doesn't mean them!"

It doesn't matter if she's angry and doesn't mean what she said. She says it. And there's never a scene were she regrets her words.

Her anger is a reason, not an excuse. That behaviour is not okay.

•Gaslighting/guiltripping them

Catra often likes to talk about Adora abandoned her, how Adora kept leaving her alone, and the show shifts to frame this as true and paints Adora in the wrong.

In Season 5 she's asks Adora "Please, just this once, stay?" After Catra herself being the one to run away, to make Adora feel guilty for the very much correct actions she took previously.

Adora refused to return to the Horde which was committing mass genocide and destroying everything in its path and painted as the bad guy for doing this.

Adora told Catra what they were doing. Begged Catra to come with her so they could start a new life. Throughout the series she is giving Catra chance after chance and trying her best to stay with her.

Every time, Catra has been doing the leaving.

Running away, abandoning Adora in the temple, vanishing in a blast or puff of smoke when it covers her.

She does the leaving, and she convinces Adora that it is in fact Adora leaving, and that she is bad person/friend for wanting nothing to do with the Horde.

The portal reality is the worst for me.

Adora is distressed and afraid, feeling like she's losing her mind and that something is wrong with her.

Catra, fully knowing the truth, gaslights her by saying she's crazy and just seeing things. And also is insults her intelligence yet again.

Making Adora doubt her own intelligence is also a form of manipulation and gaslighting.

Blaming Adora for everything that happened in the fake reality is gaslighting.

"But Adora DID leave Catra!"

Yeah. At the beginning after learning the Horde was committing mass genocide and after Catra tazed her twice. Refusing to go back. She was fully in the right. She apologised later and tried to get Catra to join her, so they could both continue being together. But Catra left her over and over again after that.

"The portal reality made Catra happy! It helped her cope with her trauma! She was having a mental breakdown!"

Hmm let me see isn't allowing your partner to continously be distressed and afraid and gaslighting them so you can be happy idk... selfish and abusive?

Yep she was having a break down. She was still in full control of her actions, and no trauma makes that okay in any way

•Hitting them or physically assaulting them in any way

Literally something Catra has done since they were children.

I can forgive the times they were small, because they don't know better and are abused children. But from episode one before Adora even left the Fright Zone Catra was pulling her around by the hair shoving her and over all being very aggressive.

After Adora leaves the Horde Catra: tazes her, tears at her skin with claws that can cut through metal, leaves her with scars, tortures her, kicks her and so much more.

Over and over again. Without a single sign of remorse.

"They were in a war!"

Yeah. Emphasis on the "they". Adora was in that war too. She was always worried for Catra, actively holding back, trying not to hurt too badly, treating her with respect.

Catra did none of that. She didn't even bother to show the slightest remorse or hesitate one second before clawing at her back and face.

Catra, in fact, is less violent with the sort of strangers that are Bow and Glimmer. She tackles Bow to the ground and hisses at him, that's it. Adora? Tearing at her skin, kicking her in the back, grabbing her by the face, torturing her, etc

War is not an excuse

"Catra's backstory! It's how they were raised! She's a victim of abuse copying her abuser because she doesn't know any better! She's lashing out!"

Cool backstory, still abuse.

Okay. She's lashing out. Doesn't excuse it. She is still actively harming Adora, and if she really can't control herself or see the wrong in it like some people claim, then that only supports the fact she is NOT good for Adora.

•Trying to kill them

The portal.

Catra knew what was going to happen.

She knew what she was going to cause.

She looked Adora dead in the eyes and pulled the switch anyways.

She didn't care as long as Adora lost. She is willing to let Adora die in order to win.

"But Catra wanted to die too!"

Okay. That doesn't matter. That doesn't justify anything. Being suicidal does not justify attempted murder.

"But (any excuse)!"

I honest to god do not care.

Just like Adora said:

"I didn't make you pull the switch. You made your choice. Now live with it!"

There is NO conceivable way for Catra knowingly doing what she did just so Adora didn't win to be okay.

She tried to kill the woman she supposedly loved.

That is not excusable.

That is not love.

And what's worse is after Adora begins to accept that Catra will not change and that trying to be peaceful will not work. Being together again is a dream. And the show rips that away.

•The victim is immensely afraid of/distressed by their abuser

Adora is absolutely terrified of Catra, or at the very least a bit afraid of her.

Every time Catra grabs Adora by the face or pins her down, Adora's eyes are wide with fear or at the very least immense discomfort.

In Roll With It, Adora is incredibly distressed and works herself into a complete state because nobody is considering what Catra will do.

"But Adora just wants to see Catra! She's thinking about her obsessively like this, it's a sign of her feelings!"

Adora knows what Catra is capable of. She knows what will happen to them if they aren't prepared. Planning out every possible option because of what could happen is not a sign of her feelings. It's a sign that she knows Catra will show no mercy, and she does not want the mission to fail or her friends to get hurt.

While Catra isn't directly present here, this is all because of her actions. Actions that have a reason, but not an excuse.

It is not healthy or romantic for your love interest to be afraid of you.

Moving on

At the end of the portal incident, Adora stared at Catra with cold eyes that clearly said "You've crossed a line"

It is here that many critics agrees that it's a bit late for Catra to have a redemption, because this truly was above anything else she had ever done.

This was where they could have had Adora move on from Catra and begin unlearning all the negative things Catra and others have embedded in her psyche.

If they did manage to do Catra's redemption right, whether during S5 or before it, I think it would've been best for the two of them to separate. It's made clear with how being away from the Horde and Adora made Catra happier when she was in the Crimson Waste.

I don't think either of then should've been in romantic relationships at all. Horde soldiers don't even know what proper food is, they've never heard of basic things like parties and the like.

I think it would've been better for them to slowly heal in their own time, Adora being happy with her newfound friends and learning the ways of Etheria and Catra staying in the Crimson Waste or somewhere else.

Romance should've been something to come to them when they've both matured and healed, and with different people.

Spop had the perfect opportunity to show that even if an abuser has trauma it is still abuse and it is not selfish to walk away.

It doesn't how sorry they are, it doesn't matter how much they claimed to have changed.

You are not obligated to be with them.

You are not obligated to be their punching bag just so they can be happy.

But spop didn't take that opportunity.

Instead this behaviour is excused or romanticised.

And the fact that the creator says this is based off his own relationship makes me deeply concerned.

......................................

A/N: Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed and that this wasn't too much of a mess! If you disagree with me, feel free to give your reasons and I will happily discuss with you. If you're just going to call me a homophobe and throw a fit and start fights, you can screw off

Tagging: @spop-romanticizes-abuse

[needfantasticstories]

Hi again, @twistedstoryteller!

Okay, LU recs off the top-ish of my head in a sort of organized-ish order:

AUTHORS!

Angst, Action, and Mixed:

Faerule and the No Good Very Bad Road Trip by ImperialKatwala, PolynomialPandemic is a great "Chain Meets Hyrule" fic.

@gintrinsic-writing is phenomenal. A gem. I love all of it, but check the tags to find ones you're comfortable with. AO3 Blood Like Yours is my personal favorite, and the sequel Like Fire in Your Veins by @pocketramblr are both about Hyrule's Blood Curse from Adventures of Link. M for Violence for most of them, but check tags to be sure. If you like it, consider also...

Protector of the Golden Power by Sillus Hyrule centric but he has a different secret.

@somer-writes has a lot of great short one shots, some darker than others. My personal favorite is a sort of character study of the boys at their lowest and how they recover called "Depletion"

For a Sliver of Sunlight by tirsynni: Warrior's dedication to his brothers makes him question his title as Hero.

What are You to a God Slayer by Secretlysheikah BAMF Sky

Brethren in a Cradle by Skyward_Arpeggio BABY!!!! It is adorable, if a bit sad at the start.

Always Darkest Before the Dawn (Linked Universe Whumptober 2023) by Skyward_Arpeggio because in general they don't go above T ratings and write excellent fics.

this year it taught me (lost and ambitious) by qar Also EXCELLENT writer. "Sky has a separate moment with each member of the team"

Whumptober 2023 by Arecaceae Great fics! Plus, "Each story will have warnings in the tags and the story notes as well as a 0-5 whump rating. The ratings will be relative to my writing, so my 5 might not be equivalent to someone else's 5. I don't write MCD, extreme gore, non-con, or extreme emotional angst."

Major's Whumptober 2023 by major_de_speed Major's are also quite clean despite the M rating which is more about the violence.

Linkeduniverse Shorts by Skyward_Arpeggio LU Short fics

A Royal Castletown Wedding by Skyward_Arpeggio This story is so good!!!!!!!!!

Whumptober 2022 by Arecaceae more great fics, rated T.

LU Whump Dump by UnexpectedStormy (ArtemiStorm)  need AO3 account to read, but worth it! Linked Universe Whumpy One-Shots, rated T.

There's one I'm missing, and when I find it I'll add it here. It involves a cursed magical artifact that Legend messes with... it's intense.

Fluffier Fics:

Frosty Reception by Skyward_Arpeggio "Four’s glad to finally be home again, and he’s not the only one happy at his return." Cute fic!

S’more Stories by Ginger375 "A collection of drabbles and mini-fics for LUtober! Day 31: Costumes"

Sentiment by Arecaceae

nine heroes, one spirit by Imjustherefortheangst, uncleskyrule (unclemoriarty) tons of great short fics, all with G-T ratings

Finding Family by Tashacee "AU where Wild's scars are a lot worse and he isn't used to interacting with people. The Chain think their new brother is dope af and are determined to make him feel at home."

My Heart's Forsaken Me by sister_dear "Four looses his sword in the heat of battle, and it's picked up by someone else... Time’s aren’t the only secrets coming to light, and the gang discovers they still have a thing or two to learn from each other."

Ambush at the Bridge by JinxedRuby Very action and healing oriented fic, multiple perspectives on one event.

Dark Clouds on the Horizon by CubanCracker62 "he Chain ends up in Wild's era shortly before the events of TotK."

There are worse ways to stay alive by EliotRosewater one shots rated T.

Crack Fics:

Misplaced Heroes by notOK this had me busting out laughing SO MANY TIMES!

Peak Gremlin Energy by defenestration_nation "Fics focusing on various Links being chaotic gremlins"

Not Necessarily LU, but Adjacent or just LoZ:

Blood of the Hero by Skye_the_Lofty_Nutcase: (Wild) Link's parents have to step in to save him when the Shrine of Resurrection gets damaged. His parents are so well written, and Abel makes appearances in LU-related/adjacent fics, The Many Misadventures of Dad Squad and Dad Squad AU by Nancyheart, Silver_Captain82403, Skye_the_Lofty_Nutcase

which is part crack and part angst, mostly lighthearted.

Don't Worry Man, I'm from the Yiga Clan: Link makes a Yiga friend due to being a delightful chaos gremlin.

Feature MCD... but might be worth it:

And Still the Cradle Blooms by Solistrix: GORGEOUS literary masterpiece. The writing is unreal. It's descriptions and emotions are incredible. This is more like finding the meaning in eventual death, so of the three here I suspect you'll like this one best as far as not being too hurt by the character's mentioned end.

This is an Adjuration: I'll be real, this is full of action and excitement but yes, it has MCD and is making me cry, but it's also REEEEAAALLY good!

Blood Drops on Roses by HotCheetohatred Fantastic storytelling! Wild centric, Twi is big brother but from day one of Wild's journey. Unreliable young Wild as narrator is an absolute delight. Unfinished, no MCD yet, but it's in the tags so no promises.

Modern AUs for not-big-on-modern-au fans:

As a fellow not-seeker of modern AUs, I personally have enjoyed the following

@skyward-floored Incredibles AU

Wild’s Wolf by HotCheetoHatred "Modern AU where young Wild is a feral forest child, raised by Wolf Twilight. He is captured, separated from Twilight, and put under observation. Time helps him escape." Unfinished, and I admit personal bias here because HotCheetoHatred is my BETA reader.

ARTISTS!!!

@ovegakart: amazing action, gut-busting humor, and captivating storytelling! Does comics

@la-sera: beautiful, ethereal, and gorgeous illustrations and a great storyteller, loves downfall duo but does every one of the boys justice

@dfanart: HILARIOUS and such heartfelt emotions on them boys.

@kikker-oma great art from fluff to whump to action

@1caru has so many fluffy LU gems!

@linderosse has a Zelda's meet AU, does LU, and much more!

@lele5429 great illustrations and abstract pieces of LU fanart.

@theecholegend hahaha... arson.

@ikaishere has so many cute LU ones.

@thepinklink fabulous LU character sketches

@hiimgin BIAS! I got to work with them and they are FABULOUS!

@pluviatrix has art for their fic And Still the Cradle Blooms

@cherrypaii has fantastic illustrations of these boys!

AND MANY, MANY MORE!

(Commenters, please add artists I forgot. I know there are a ton Im missing!!)

Hope this helps you feel welcome!

[harasharaved]

Jason Todd Fics - September 2023

Fics I recommend with a focus on or POV of Jason Todd. Masterpost can be found here.

Key: Has a ship or romantic plot, unfinished, multi-chapter, one-shot

NOTE: some of these do require an AO3 Account to read.

Whisper Closely in My Ear by Kangarou

The words went in one ear, rattled around like bees, before ramming out the other. The doctor was sitting painfully close, only two feet away. The tone of voice implied he was talking louder, not quite a yell but something nearly there; it sounded like a whisper to Jason. So quiet, with every third word unintelligible, except for that first phrase: "Mr Wayne, I'm afraid you're profoundly deaf." --- Jason is profoundly deaf. He learns to cope with it.

An AU in which Jason is deaf. This is one of my favorite Jason fics. I often find myself coming back to it. Its a great character study, introspective and has that delicious kind of hurt you just want to sit with for a while, with a helping dollop of comfort.

Children Will Listen by Parker Avenue

Jason Todd is good at extortion. He's what the adults call a snoop - nobody paid attention to the little kid with the big ears. Without even realizing, adults would hand him the keys to getting what he needed. Jason knew how to collect information, because adults found information valuable. And it was. It was free, easy to get, and easy to carry, so long as he kept his head clear and his facts straight. Jason had information Batman could use. He knew it. He had thought it over all day, sitting on that moldy couch, eating stale saltines. Batman would definitely be interested in the information Jason had. Batman had become scary again, like the old stories Jason used to hear the goons in the area tell. Breaking bones, just barely keeping people alive. Batman didn’t kill, no, but sometimes? Sometimes living was worse, maybe. Jason stayed crouched behind that dumpster, silent, because he simply couldn’t decide if Batman was far gone enough to make a kid wish he was dead. (Jason Todd knows how to get what he wants, and Batman tries to lure him to safety.)

Okay I will admit, my biggest weakness is fics about street kid Jason. Slow adoption got me good. Anyways, this one isn't finished but I love the way the pacing takes its time. Co-parents Bruce and Selina is never a con either!

Stargazer by LemonadeGarden

Jason Todd is seriously injured during patrol one night, and is forced to stay at the manor to recuperate until his injuries are healed. To pass the time, he makes a list of things he never got to do before he died. Except there's one small problem: most of them involve Bruce, and Jason doesn't really think Bruce cares all that much about him anymore. This is a story about how wrong he is, but I made it sad anyway.

I'm sure everyone and their mother has rec'd this fic, but I'm doing it anyways because I love it deeply. If you haven't read it, this is your sign!

Glow in the Dark Stars by essspressso (stylesmakethefight)

“I’m being serious, asshat,” Jason hisses, swatting his hands away from his face. “You have to tell me what year it is.” Nightwing crosses his arms a little petulantly. “It’s 2017. Happy?” Jason freezes, breath catching in his throat. 2017. Five years ago. He was…he was fifteen. “Shit,” he murmurs. He’s going to eviscerate Tim. Or: Red Hood Jason and 15-year-old Jason swap timelines, landing one week before 15-year-old Jason is supposed to die.

Time travel trope + Jason Todd's tragic ass life = amazing fics. Feelings, prepare to be felt! LOTS of Angst. You might even shed a tear. Wonderful fic!

Too Much Fucking Salt by Pez_The_Platypus

A rural housewife instinctively understood the law of quantity into quality. Add a pinch of salt to a soup and it tasted better; add one pinch too many and you ruined the batch. Jason had been in limbo for a year and a half, trusting things would get better even though everything just seemed to be getting worse. It was something small that set him off, but really, it was an accumulation of a lot of things that led to this. He was going to kill the Joker.

A one shot, but a LONG one. This one is very sad, heavy, and bittersweet. Its not Bruce or Dick "bashing", it provides a pretty well rounded and human description of them, which is to say they are not angels. Still, if you love pondering the tragedy of Jason Todd and themes of coping with trauma and the inherent grating sensation of trying to heal, this is a great fic for you.

YOU MUST KNOW LIFE TO KNOW DECAY by orpheusaki

Bruce starts, eyes glaring down at the city and unwilling to look anywhere else, especially in Jason's direction, "You always… hated the rain." Jason's breath gets caught in his throat. (For as long as Jason can remember, it's always been raining.)

Jason angst and character study rooted in comic-accuracy. Great short read!

This Kind of Weather by r_astra

Jason’s at school when his mom dies, and that’s the only reason any of it happens. If he’d been home, if he’d been with her, he would’ve been in the wind before anyone else even knew. Even if they looked, no one ever would’ve found him. He’d have taken to the sewers if that’s what it took, man-eating crocodile guy and all.

Yes, another Jason Todd adoption fic, one in which he does not steal the tires. I have a type and I'm limiting myself to only 2 of the many I love. This one does not have much of a focus at all on the Bat-side of things, just a story of Jason finding a home, much older than in the comics.

A Straight Blade by Sparkypants

"What happened to your face?" Bruce asks, reaching his hand for Jason's jaw. "You're bleeding." Jason bristles, cheeks turning pink. "I cut myself shaving." He says, and wipes at the cut with the cuff of his hoody. Damian makes a clicking noise with his tongue, "I'm amazed you haven't taken your own head off." He snarks. Jason shoves his chair away from the table, temper flaring. "Well it's not like anyone ever taught me, is it." He hisses. He's five years late, but Bruce finally teaches Jason how to shave.

Quick one-shot with feelings. Great little read I often find myself revisiting.

Growing Like a Breeze by WhaleofaTime

April 27th isn't anyone's favorite date, but it's somehow worse than usual today when Bruce gets his car stolen. It's nice of Red Hood to come to his rescue. Nicer even that Jason keeps him company afterwards.

One of those fics that explains everything about why Jason and Bruce's dynamic and relationship is so magnetic to read about. They both suck at feelings and yet make me feel SO MUCH.

[thinkingaboutjaedyn]

the fall of the mountain [a.thompson x reader]

prompt: the pressure of being a pro gets to alyssa and her way of expressing that comes out more aggressive than it should. good thing you are here for her.

author notes: had to write something for my #2 wifey in the uswnt, so thank you to the person who asked for alyssa angst+comfort and fuck you to tumblr for making me delete that ask. hope y'all enjoy this!

alyssa's hands are clenching tightly on the steering wheel as she drives. you can see her poking her tongue though her cheek which is one of her many habits when she is stressed. you two just came from an angel city game with alyssa obviously being a starter for the game and you being there to help a seasoned journalist to cover the game. it was apart of your internship to help out and edit sports pieces.

the game didn't go the way angel city wanted with the portland thorns beating them six to four. you can just see the wheels spinning in alyssa's head about what she could have done to prevent the win; why she couldn't find another opportunity to secure a goal.

"we can stop and get takeout if you want? my treat," you say quietly. testing the waters to see how badly your girlfriend was feeling. she is silent for a moment until y'all reach a red light, looking over at you. "i don't really care so.." she shrugs before going back to focusing on the road. her words are so nonchalant and cold. they make you frown, but you hold out on asking her about her feelings for when you two reach her apartment.

the interaction settling in your mind as you press the chinese food place number and hold up the phone to your ear.

after getting the food, arriving at alyssa's place, and eating the food, your girlfriend still hasn't said more than two words to you. thank you is the only thing she said once you paid and got the food earlier.

the silence from her is starting to get concerning, so you decide it's time for you to get a peek into her mind.

"lyss, can you just talk to me?" you say as you place a hand on her leg. she's sitting beside you on the couch and all her attention is focused on whatever netflix show is playing on the tv. the american player moves away from your touch, giving you a quick glance. "talk to you about what?" alyssa murmurs.

"you know what. the game, how you're feeling, why you're being so cold to me..." you try to scoot closer to her, but once again she moves away. that annoys you so much that you sigh heavily.

"there is nothing to talk about," alyssa replies. the lack of expression sitting on her face doesn't her eyes. you can see the regret and sadness swirling around in her eyes. seeing her so closed off makes you feel so frustrated. not with her, but more with the unknown reason she is feeling that way that she isn't telling you. "obviously it is if you are acting like this" you snap at her. the words come out before you could even think.

alyssa stands before glaring at you, "acting like what? you're mad at me because i won't talk to you about the game? this isn't some press conference, so honestly i don't have to tell you shit!"

you are taken back by her words, standing up to meet her face to face. "i'm not asking from a reporter standpoint. i'm asking as your girlfriend cause you know partners tell each other things instead of acting all moody like a toddler!" you shout back at her. half of the words you say you don't even mean but being treated like you basically don't exist since the game isn't helping you act rational.

alyssa and you go back & forth for several more minutes. each sentence said being a shot at the other. the loss of the game is weighing down on alyssa's mind as she voices out all her anger at you and you aren't being much better. giving back your girlfriend just as much aggression.

"you wouldn't understand anything about what i have to go through. you're just some college student right now and i'm out here playing infront of thousands of people, it's not the same!" she says before finally storming out of the living room and down the hall to her bedroom. you still stand in the living room not even sure of what to do. the heat of the moment cools down and finally you realize how shitty what just happened was. you and alyssa just had a bad argument right after a game loss that you knew alyssa was feeling bad about it.

you walk around the couch to go to the counter, grabbing the keys to alyssa's car and leaving out of the door. on your way to buy a few things to make up for the argument. hopefully alyssa is ready to apologize too when you come back

when you come back to the apartment it's around ten. a small bouquet of flowers along with alyssa's favorite candy are in your hands as you walk inside and close the door shut with your body. you slip your shoes off before walking to alyssa's bedroom. the only sound in the apartment being the tv that was left on from earlier and your footsteps.

the door to the bedroom is slightly left open so it's easy for you to just walk in. frowning once you see alyssa laying under her blankets, a vanilla scented candle burning on her desk. that's the only light in the room as you walk inside. sitting down beside her.

"lyss?" you say softly as you look at her. she is still not facing you, but you can tell she is awake.

"hm?" she mumbles.

"can you face me, baby?"

the american player turns over, letting out a small smile as she spots the goodies in your hands. you sit down the candy on the bed before giving her the bouquet of tulips. "thank you..." alyssa says softly as she accepts the flowers. turning back around to set them aside on the nightstand before coming back to face you. instead of laying down, she sits up so you two are actually at the same face level.

you decide to apologize first, "i'm sorry for snapping at you and all the things i said while we were arguing. i didn't mean any of it, i was just so frustrated you were closing yourself off to me."

alyssa sighs heavily before speaking, "no, i'm the one who should be sorry. you were right when you said we are supposed to tell each other our problems. i didn't mean not one thing i said, you aren't just some college student. you're going places, y/n.." she looks at you to see how you are reacting before continuing, "it's just.. i feel like i don't deserve any of this. i couldn't even help get another goal in the net."

hearing the loathing in alyssa's tone makes you pull her close. all the feelings that have been building up in alyssa's chest since the end of the match spill out as she lets the tears that have been waiting in her eyes out. you rub gentle circles on her back as she cries into your shoulder.

"i was the number one pick from the draft, but it doesn't feel like it. sometimes i feel like i don't play like it. than it's not just games, but we have press conferences after and i have to sit in a chair with a bunch of reporters asking questions that i feel too tired to even answer. it's just all too much," she says into your shoulder. you stay silent, just letting her get everything out. in that moment you realize just how different the amount of pressure is on you compared to alyssa. when she fails, there are hundreds of eyes that follow. when you fail, it's your own personal hurdle.

you two just enjoy the embrace of one another for a few more moments with alyssa still sniffling a bit. once you hear her go silent, you pull back just enough to look at her. the american player just tries to lean back onto you, but you keep her away.

you hold her face in your hands, looking at the tear stains on that gorgeous face of hers. "you know you're a great player, baby. everyone else can see it too, that's why you were the number one pick right out of highschool and that's why you were called up for the national team. that's why people expect so much from you," you chuckle as alyssa starts to let out a shy smile. "however that doesn't mean you have to hold all this weight on your shoulders. i'm here for you, your teammates are here for you, and your family is too. everything is a team effort, lyss, so don't ever blame just yourself" you let go of her face before pulling her back into your arms.

she laughs into your shoulder as she holds onto you. "now i feel like that argument was so stupid," alyssa says.

"i mean duh but something good came out of it so it's whatever" you say back. alyssa pulls you down onto the pillows and you happily let her. smiling as she nuzzles up to your neck. "yeah.. well, that was too much crying for one day. i'm sleepy.." she mumbles, seemly already half asleep. you don't realize how exhausted you are until alyssa mentions her own sleepiness, so you just fall silent and let yourself drift off to sleep too.

[fyodorloveclub]

june 19th

✦ pairing: dazai x gn!reader

✦ notes: my 4th installment of blurbs for my boy's birthdays (bbb). i love him so much it hurts. let's all pretend this isn't 2 days late <3

✦ warnings: surprisingly sfw, talks of death/suicide (it's dazai), minor angst but painfully sweet at the end

✦ wc: 1k

Birthdays were hard for Dazai. The congratulations, the gifts, the cake, the smiles, only reminded him of one thing – he survived another year. A concept that was still difficult for him to grasp. It was admittedly getting easier, slowly finding things worth living for, but still hard. When he spent so much of his life, so many of his formative years, hoping for nothing but death, it’s hard for that not to be in the back of his mind.

When birthdays felt like a failure. When the number ticking up made Dazai feel like a coward. A further reminder that he hadn’t built up the guts, that he was still naïve enough to think there was something worth living for, and he just hadn’t found it yet. A spineless fool who could never practice what he preached.

The only thing that made him crack a smile when he was strongarmed into blowing out the candles of the cake that Elise demanded, was how antithetical it was to wish for death at a celebration of his birth. A paradox of his own creation.

Dazai could never really understand why anyone wanted to celebrate his birth. He couldn’t think of a single person who, for a reason outside of personal gain, would be sad if he died. Sure, Mori and much of the Port Mafia would mourn the loss of one of their most cunning executives, Odasaku would miss having a drinking buddy, and Chuuya would miss having someone to antagonize, but no one would miss him. No one would miss Osamu Dazai as an individual and a soul, for all that he is and is not.

So why was it worth celebrating his life – the opposite of his death?

You were the first person Dazai ever met who actually cherished him for who he was, and not what he could provide. His life meant something, meant everything to you, and was more than worthy of celebration.

The first to look him in the eyes and tell him you would be sad if he died.

“You are so much more than a Port Mafia executive, or a Detective Agency detective – you’re so much more than No Longer Human, and even more than my partner,” you whispered to him one night. “You, are Osamu Dazai. A soul unlike any other, and a soul just as worthy of existing and being loved.”

Of course, he never really quite believed you – and you didn’t much expect him to, either. Not with how this life had treated him. He spent his whole life being told his worth extended only as far as what he could do, never who he could be.

Even when you spent hours gently unwrapping every single bandage that adorned his fragile skin, and kissed every single scar that marred his body, Dazai still didn’t quite comprehend. Not even when you helped him wrap fresh ones, each sealed with a kiss, assuring him that he didn’t have to hide but you would always support his comfort. But that was okay. You didn’t love just to receive love. You loved because he was worth it.

So when his birthday came around, the first of which the two of you would be spending together, you were very intentional with plans. You wanted to make him feel loved and cherished and worthy, but not push him past his limit – or make it feel artificial. It couldn’t feel like it was just going through the motions and playing out the stereotypes of a birthday. It needed to be suited to Dazai, so that he could see that it was on purpose.  

Just a typical weekday, you turned off his alarm and woke him with a gentle kiss, whispering a sweet “happy birthday, my love” against his lips. Not even Dazai could fight the way his lips curled into a smile. You washed his hair in the shower and rewrapped his bandages for him, and he even let you apply a few swipes of mascara on his fluttery eyelashes, telling him it was so he could look extra pretty for his special day.

Sending him off to work with a perfectly crafted latte and a flurry of I love you’s, you sat down on the balcony with a paper and pen to write his birthday letter – his only gift, aside from the exorbitantly priced bottle of sake you bought to pair with dinner.

Dear Osamu, it began.

I am a lovesick fool. Your heart has corrupted me in the most irreversible way possible, and your soul has eternally entangled itself with mine. You blind me with your kindness, your passion, and your devotion. I have more love for you than there are stars in the sky, and you are worthy of every atom.

It is only when the ink of your pen starts to run dry that, three pages later, you decide to conclude the letter.

Happy birthday, my one true love. You matter. The letters were lacking in opacity but enriched with love.

And when Dazai finally arrived home, telling stories that likely were not supposed to grace the ears of non-Agency employees, you surprised him with a simple, yet very deliberate dinner. Crab and sake – just what he liked. The laughs got louder as glasses were poured, and tears collected at the corners of his eyes as he read through your letter. You matter, he mouthed silently as he read the line.

And for the first time in his entire life, an inkling of a sliver of a thought entered his mind, that maybe, just maybe, you were right.

[winterlynightlystories]

Didn't know where to go

Tw; mention of death, blood and mental breakdown. Angst!

Please do not copy or steal my work.

Gojo Satoru/Male!Reader

Note; it's almost one in the morning. I'll correct it later in the day 😂 I wanted to have my take on Satoru after killing his best friend, so here it is!

Summary; You seemed to be the only one noticing how Satoru isn't doing well since Geto left. So you approach him, you talk. You never imagined where it would lead you would get on.

~~~~~~

You were worried. Well, more than usual, and for cause. Your friend and crush Satoru was acting weirder and weirder with each passing day. Ever since that failed mission and Geto going rogue, you could barely recognize him. Of course, Satoru kept smiling and being an asshole, but something was off. Almost as if there wasn't really someone behind those sunglasses. His smiles and laughs were... empty.

It took you a few days before gathering enough courage to approach him. For once, you found Satoru sitting alone at a wooden table, staring into the distance. You almost turned around a few times, fearing to bother him. But Gojo turned his head toward you and waved his hand in your direction, calling for you.

- “Y/n-chan!” he called with a sing-song voice, making you grunt

- “Don’t call me chan, you asshole! I'm a man!”

His only answer was a laugh, empty too.

You sat by his side and Gojo returned watching nothing. Maybe he hoped to see Geto coming back.

- “Satoru... Are you okay?” you finally asked, almost whispering your question.

- “Mah, what do you mean? Why wouldn't I be?” he asked back, but didn't look at you.

- “Well, your best friend is gone and, I don't know... You don’t look really happy. When you laugh, it doesn't reach your eyes, like you are forcing yourself to.” you looked away, sighing. “Honestly man, you look like you are faking everything as if what happened didn't matter or affect you. I'm just worried about you.”

There was no answer and you wondered if you went too far. It was none of your business after all, but you couldn't leave your friend alone. Not after everything he just went through. Gods! You could remember his clothes soaked in his own blood and his pale skin still stained with it. He could have died, right there! And you would have lost him. You knew your feelings were one-sided, but you still cared for him.

- “How did you see through my acting, Y/n?” he asked with a sigh, his voice blank of emotion.

- “I guess I know you well enough.” you answered with a small smile. “Satoru, you know you can come to me, right? Won't judge you or repeat it to anyone. Just... How are you really doing?”

You turned your head only to find Satoru without his sunglasses. He had closed his eyes and threw his head back. The fake smile was gone and, overall, Satoru seemed sad. Terribly sad.

And lonely.

- “Not so well I think.” he replied and you put a hand on his shoulder, gently squeezing it. “Empty, angry, there are so many emotions I feel at the same time. Yet, it's like I don't feel them at all. Numb maybe.”

- “I see.” you replied before passing your arm around his shoulder and pulling him in a hug. “I'm sorry you have to go through it. I'm sure Geto is doing just fine. Never saw you two apart for this long, so I'm pretty sure he's going to come back running just for you.” you added, feeling Gojo return your embrace and put his head on yours.

- “And I am so angry at him. Why leave me behind? Why... Why does it feel like we meant nothing?” he asked, voice slightly shaking

- “I don't know Satoru. I really don't know”

And it's true, you don't know what Geto had in mind by leaving. Especially when he said nothing to Satoru, which was so unusual. Because you knew Gojo Satoru would have followed that man down in hell with no hesitations.

After a few minutes, you separated when you heard Satoru's phone buzzing. By his face, you knew it wasn't good news. You gently cupped his head in your hands.

- “Promised me to come to me. Whenever, night or day, it doesn't matter. I'll be there if you need me”

- “I'll try to not forget,” he said with a smile.

And just like that, he was gone.

A few weeks passed by and you had no news from Satoru. To say you worried for your friend, and crush would be a euphemism. You knew Satoru was more than probably fine, but still. You knew him well enough. He should have at least texted you some stupidity or just sent you a picture of his meal. A few days were normal, but weeks?

Then, there were the rumours about Geto. Worse, they seemed to be getting true. Could he really have turned into an enemy? Into someone, you and Satoru might have to fight?

Hopefully, no. You were not at their level, more use as a tracker for cursed objects, not a fighter.

That night you took a long shower, trying to relax and forget about your worries. You could smell the food cooking in the oven, only making you hungrier. You still had almost an hour before it would be ready.

But then came the shift.

Under the water, you froze, trying to understand what had shifted. The pressure, you thought at first, as if you were flying in an airplane. Or the gravity, as you felt heavier than you truly were. You began to feel sick and light-headed. Quickly turning off the shower, you got out and grabbed your towel.

Coming out of the bathroom was a terrible mistake. Crashing against your wall, you almost let go of your towel. Cursing, you tried to stabilize yourself. After a minute or so, you got a little use and could walk into your living room. You froze, again, on the sigh before you.

Hair bloody and his blue eyes almost mad, Gojo Satoru stood in the middle of your room. Silent tears rolled down his cheeks and his hands shook uncontrollably by his side.

- “Satoru? W-what happened?” you asked, feeling the pressure in the room getting worse by the second and you felt as if your head would explode.

- “I killed him.” he simply said before laughing hysterically, without it reaching his eyes.

- “Satoru, who did you kill?” you asked, heart racing in your chest.

- “I didn't know where to go, but I remembered what you told me. Mind if I crash for the night?” he ignored or didn't hear you. “Your sofa will be perfect, but I think I need a shower first.

- “Of course!” you exclaimed, trying to step closer, but just could not. “Satoru... What?”

- “Great! Because I don't think I can support longer the feeling of Suguru's blood.” he said, a broking sob passing his lips as tears kept rolling.

- “Omg...” you gasped, a hand covering your mouth. “T-this way, come with me”

Turning around, you led Satoru to your bathroom. Behind you, you heard the man ripping his clothes off his body and throwing his shoes away. You turned the shower on, immediately on hot water, and watched your friend almost jump under the water.

Leaving him some intimacy, you went to your bedroom, after turning off the oven, to get some baggy pants for yourself and Satoru. You knew that even your biggest probably wouldn't fit him properly; the man was a fucking giant after all. Finally, you went and grabbed a clean towel for Satoru and took care of his ripped clothes.

You went back toward your bathroom and, for a second, didn't know what to do. Should you wait for him to finish or should you go in and keep him company? You were happy that Satoru felt safe coming to you, especially with his current state of mind, but you never saw him like that before. How would he react now? Taking your courage in both hands, and a deep breath, you went in.

Still in the shower, Satoru was washing his hair. You couldn't see any trace of blood on him, or anywhere. The pressure and gravity were finally back to normal, or so, and you could breathe normally again.

After putting the pants and the towel on the sink, you approached Satoru. The poor man was still shaking, and probably crying.

- “Satoru? Do you need help with your hair?” you asked, as gently as you could. You watch Gojo stop moving for a second. “C’mere, I'll help you. I'll make sure there is no more blood.”

You saw Satoru's shoulders drop as if giving up before slowly turning toward. You tried to ignore how he flinched under your touch when you helped him down on his knees, but couldn't hold back a ‘sorry’ as if you had hurt him. With a quick look, you concluded there wasn't any more blood and helped him rinse his hair.

Even if Satoru was now calmed, he looked absent, dead. You had to help him more by drying him and giving him a hand to put his pants on. And like a child, you took his hand and led him to your bedroom.

- “C’mon, I'll let you get the bed. You're too tall for the sofa.” you said gently and watched him lay down.

To your surprise, Satoru didn't let go of your hand. Instead, he pulled you onto the bed, next to him.

- “Please, don't go,” he said, voice so low you almost didn't hear.

- “I'm not going anywhere, I promise.” you replied, entwining your fingers.

You watched Satoru close his eyes before doing the same. After a few minutes, Satoru’s breath slowed and his hand relaxed in yours; he was asleep. It took you longer to fall asleep, fearing he would disappear into the tin air. But in the morning he would still be there, clenching your hand in his. And if your phones rang, or if someone came knocking at your door; no they didn't.

[licncourt]

Is there a specific way to read the vampire chronicles or some books you should skip (I’ve just heard that some aren’t that good but like I’m up for anything)? And what books are focused on Louis and Lestat?

Okay I hope you weren't looking for a short answer to this because there isn't one 😭 Rather than just give my uncontextualized opinion, I'm going to try to explain what makes some (most) of VC so unbelievably terrible in so many people's eyes. There are going to be spoilers for pretty much all the books, but most of it is either incredibly stupid or information that you might want relating to content warnings. I'll list what applies to each book as I go.

I'm assuming you're here from my VC primer post, but if not, I'll link it right here! It gives a bit more detail on my short answer to your main question which is: if you value your sanity, only read the first three. Also a note to read the post I linked at the bottom of it about Anne Rice for context. It will help with understanding the tone this post takes re: the author.

To quickly answer your second question, I am sad to report that Interview with the Vampire is the only book focused on Loustat because after that Anne Rice decided that she hated Louis. Their relationship is on and off in the (very, VERY distant) background until they finally get together permanently towards the end of the series, but it's never the focal point again. She just kept us all on the hook by having one absolutely brain chemistry altering ship moment in a majority of the books (my compilation of those moments here).

Okay, on to specifics:

Interview with the Vampire: a literary classic with incredible character building. I'm assuming we can all agree that IWTV is fantastic and anyone who is reading this because of the show is probably already sold on it. If that's where you're coming from, you might be a bit disappointed by how unsympathetic Lestat can be, but that'll be remedied(ish) later. Lestat is the main character in the series going forward. Enjoy this Louis content because this is pretty much the end of it.

CW: keep in mind that the beginning of the book takes place on a plantation with all that entails; there are some occasional pedophilic and incestuous undertones, but nothing out of place with Gothic horror (it gets so much worse); domestic violence

The Vampire Lestat: this is widely considered to be excellent popular fiction rather than something as elevated as IWTV, but it's a 5-star read according to most fans. Lestat is such a vibrant, exciting character and so much more than the charismatic villain he was in IWTV (the AMC show incorporates a lot of his characterization from this book, as IWTV was originally a stand-alone novel without any real idea of what Lestat would become).

Aside from a (delightful) cameo at the end of the book, Louis is now in Anne Rice Jail and will not be allowed to do anything for the next nine books except be tortured once like a bug for no reason.

CW: a non-consensual turning that is directly analogous to sexual assault; descriptions of child abuse; Lestat, unfortunately, tongue kisses his mom

Queen of the Damned: this is the last book that most fans like. I personally consider it a step down from the first two, but I strongly prefer intimate, character driven stories and QotD is very plotty. It's a fun book, but some cracks start to show in AR's writing that will become a big problem later. Still, it's enjoyable and the ending is very satisfying for the story arc and for the characters. It also contains a fan favorite chapter that follows Daniel, the interviewer, and his insane romance with the vampire Armand.

If you want to be a happy person, turn back now.

CW: non-con blood drinking/vampiric SA; casual racism and pro-imperialism

***CATEGORY 5 EVENT: ANNE RICE FIRES HER EDITOR PERMANENTLY***

The Tale of the Body Thief: this is considered by most fans (obligatory not ALL) to be the worst book in the series simply for how the subject matter is handled. This is the beginning of AR transforming Lestat into something very existentially disturbing without even meaning to. The sympathetic, charming, evil-but-not-really theater kid Lestat is gone without a trace in a way that could be a very insightful look at the aftermath of trauma but is instead deeply insensitive and really upsetting.

Lestat from here on out becomes a hypermasculine caricature that can do no wrong according to the narrative and this has some pretty awful results. There are a few funny moments (like Lestat describing the sensation of peeing for two full pages) and a very cute arc where he adopts a dog, but he also commits two explicit rapes and emotionally abuses/threatens Louis on several occasions with the authorial justification that "men can't help themselves", abuse victims have it coming for setting boundaries, and people who have suffered abuse become abusers. This will be a recurring theme going forward.

Not related to Lestat, but also an Indian man is killed and has his body stolen and inhabited by a white British man in what would be a great metaphor for colonialism if the author thought that was a bad thing.

I am on the last chapter of a 140,000 word fic that I wrote just because I hate TotBT so much and wanted to create a world where it doesn't have to exist. It's one of the most popular VC fics on ao3, and that's not a testament to my writing ability, but rather to how much people hate this book.

CW: graphic SA; domestic violence; insensitivity to the point of racism; the author thinking these things are okay

Memnoch the Devil: not much to say about this. It's AR's ripoff of Dante's Inferno. Lestat meets the devil, goes to hell, drinks the blood of Jesus Christ, loses an eye, vacuum sucks period blood out of a woman's uterus and pad, and then falls into a five year semi-coma on a church floor. Somehow it's still boring. Best I can say is that the Lestat characterization is a bit less heinous than it is in the previous book.

CW: not much here unless you have an issue with period blood guzzling

The Vampire Armand: truly a notorious book in the series, beloved by some, hated by many. There's some good backstory for the character Armand (he first appears in IWTV, likely in season two of the show) and some fun historical fiction, however. Armand begins his story as a twelve year old human child who is rescued from sex slavery by an ancient vampire, Marius (he was namedropped in AMC ep 2).

Over the course of the book, he's physically, mentally, sexually abused by Marius, his teacher and father figure who is, like David, presented as a wise and moral authorit figure. In addition, Armand carries on a sexual relationship with an adult man as a minor. The sex is graphic (it's erotica) and it's really the peak of the pedophilia in VC. Keep in mind that this is coming from an author who publicly defended a child predator and thought that 14 year old kids could consent and should be allowed to have sex with adults.

Of all the later books, this one is the most widely enjoyed because Marius/Armand is a fairly popular ship.

CW: CSA/grooming; statutory rape; explicit adult/minor content; child abuse; cult abuse

Merrick: evil, evil book. AR's giant fuck you to Louis and anyone who likes his character. Lestat is in his devil coma for most of this book, so it's narrated by his newest fledgling and rape victim, David (who I and most others despise. This is the white guy who has an Indian body now). By this point, AR had openly admitted that she didn't like Louis, and she kind of spends this book tormenting and mocking him for no reason.

The titular Merrick (a mixed-race witch drowned in awful racial connotations) mind controls Louis with magic, then forces him to turn her (again, AR has confirmed that this is vampire rape) and be in a relationship. After this, she conjures a "ghost" that may or may not be Louis and Lestat’s dead daughter who tells Louis she always hated him and blamed him for her death. Completely overcome by grief, without Lestat (coma), and having been raped, Louis attempts suicide.

This event and all his mental health issues up to this point are framed by David as being stupid and weak, the sign of a lesser person who should just go and die because they deserve it. It is worth mentioning yet again that David is framed as being in the right and AR had expressed these opinions herself in the past (ie that mental illness is just weakness and you should be able to get over it).

Another fun thing is that Merrick was groomed by David as a child and he spends most of the book wanting her back and also admitting to other acts of pedophilia. So that's fun and great for a character who's supposed to be a voice of reason and moral center.

0/10, despise this book.

CW: sexual assault; grooming; attempted suicide

Blood & Gold: this is Marius' backstory. It is a completely pointless book because we've already heard it twice by this point in the series (and if you read the companion book Pandora, you'll hear it again). The whole thing reads like a Wikipedia page about ancient Rome. Read it if you want I guess.

CW: Marius

Blackwood Farm: this book had...potential? None of that was ever achieved, but I'll at least say that the concept could be worse. Lestat acquires his FIFTH brunette sadboi love interest of the series in this book, so that's kind of funny. Overall though, any positive qualities are overshadowed by weird prose, a really transphobic caricature, and the fact that the main character has shower sex with the ghost of his dead twin brother

CW: transphobia; sibling incest

Blood Canticle: Miss Rice decided to. Get creative with this book. It is a fandom joke. It is the worst prose in existence. It is a literary manic episode. It is truly indescribable. I'm just going to leave this excerpt from ch 1 here and let you imagine an entire book of this

Yes, chapter one is Anne Rice using Lestat as a proxy to berate her readers for not liking Memnoch the Devil. It's also important to me that you know Lestat calls himself "omnisensual" in this book, tries to become a saint, and tells a woman to put some clothes on because men can't control themselves. The word "chuckle" is also written out in the prose in italics like this is ff.net in 2010. The best thing that came of this book is the famous AR Amazon reviews rant (now a beloved VC fandom copypasta). Please read it. It's transcendent.

CW: psychologically devastating prose

Prince Lestat: this is AR's comeback book, published 12 years after Blood Canticle. It's an improvement, but it's still terrible and very, VERY dumb. Lestat has completed his transformation into a macho man male power fantasy for AR and we end with the establishment of a vampire monarchy with Lestat in charge because he slurped and then puked up the brains of the vampire who had the Special Vampire Essence.

Mostly this was an excuse for AR to kill off a bunch of her weird NPCs that she didn't know what to do with. The good news is we get a very cute, official Loustat love confession and for the first time since the first book in the entire series, we get a chapter that's Louis' POV!! It's like 7 pages long but it's the best we're ever going to get.

Other fun thing that happens: Lestat is hooked up to a hormone IV that allows him to fuck (book vampires can't) and the resident scientist vampire steals his cum and creates a petri dish clone of Lestat that is raised in secret for 18 years before being given to Lestat as his son. No, I'm not joking.

CW: uh, brain eating? Insanely unethical human experimentation?

Prince Lestat and the Realms of Atlantis: batshit crazy book. Truly bonkers. There are aliens, Atlantis is real, Lestat has a sentient brain parasite that controls all vampires and talks to him in his mind like the PS5, vampire brain surgery occurs, a choir of child vampires is there, an alien named Derek breastfeeds a disembodied hand until it grows into his clone named Derek Two, and so much more.

The one positive is that after decades of harassment, AR finally lets Louis be a main character again. By this point he has been completely stripped of his personality (I call it the Louis Lobotomy) and exists solely as Lestat's sexy lamp, but whatever. He's there and they're cute together. How they managed to become a healthy, functional couple overnight after two hundred years of drama is never explained.

Lestat makes out with his rapist and talks about how he was asking for it in a particularly nauseating scene, but otherwise it's pretty tame trigger-wise

CW: rape apologia/victim blaming

Blood Communion: we are finally being put out of our misery. The end of the series. This is such a boring book and Lestat’s characterization is completely nonsensical by now. Several main characters are presumed dead for a while and by this point you don't even care. Not even the other characters in the book seem to care. Its only use is to get that sweet sweet Loustat happy ending.

CW: temporary character death

-

Alright, that was a lot of shit-talking a book series I literally run a fandom blog and write hundreds of thousands of words of fic for, but the truth is, fans are here for the characters as they were originally created. The first three books are wonderful, the first two completely masterful and case studies in how character building should be done. There's a reason they've been read and analyzed and fawned over for forty years. What happened to the series is heartbreaking, but it doesn't negate the impact of how it started.

AR may have started spelling her own characters' names wrong and writing a baffling combination of disgusting hot takes and total absurdity, but she created something special in the beginning and I'll always love it and be grateful for what it once was.

I hope that was helpful!

[shkudss]

Weakened by Eywa Pt. 3

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

Masterlist

Summary: Ao'nung finally realizes that his actions have consequences

Warnings: curse words, bullying, mental breakdown, English isn't my first language

Author's note: 🤭🤭🤭

Yawntutsyip - darling, little loved one

Yaymak - foolish, ignorant

Tsmukan - brother

“You lost their trust, I understand them. You really need to try hard just to get her forgiveness.” Tsireya tried to cheer up Ao’nung, he came to her asking for an advice, which is not normal for him.

“I try, but I don’t believe she’ll even forgive me.”

Ao’nung couldn’t do anything properly after that day. When he saw you so small, broken and vulnerable... You were crying in Neteyam’s hands, needed to be protected. He realized why he did these things to you. And that’s so stupid of him, so stupid.

He liked you.

But just like an ignorant child he didn’t understand it and tried to bully you. And who’s skxawng now? He so fucked up. Now you don’t even want to look at him, nobody lets him even breath towards you.

Sully’s really stick together, because otherwise he doesn’t know how they’re always end up around you. Especially, when he tries to talk to you. Oh Eywa, how many times he tried to do that.

“You can leave her message. I think that would work, you won’t have to come close to her, just do it secretly.”

Ao’nung’s eyes widened in surprise. His sister is really smart. He will leave something at Y/N’s place so that nobody but her can take it. That thought cheered him up a little. He would be happy just to get your forgiveness, even if you won’t be friends after it. But he would fight till the end of his days to get closer to you.

***

“What’s this?” you mumbled looking at little necklace and a small piece of wood with something written on it lying on the stone covered with soft grass.

Who did that? How did they find this place? Even your family doesn’t know where you go every day. Only one person can do this.

“Ao’nung?” You’re completely confused by this whole situation.

You came closer to these things and started to read the message. It was short, but you didn’t want it to be too long, since it’s probably from him.

I’m sorry. Let me talk to you.

Today, here at the sunset.

You bit your lips nervously, heart pounding like crazy. What do you feel? There’s a tornado of emotions going through your fragile soul. You’re scared, nervous, sad, but also… interested? These past weeks showed you that he wants to do something with it. Maybe he even regrets it. So why don’t you check it out?

You can’t help but doubt your decision throughout the day. Neteyam noticed you being too pensive and silent today, which never meant anything good. Especially, after the recent events.

“What’s wrong?” he waited until both of you will be alone in your marui to have a comfortable conversation.

“Nothing, I’m just thinking.” That was true, you just didn’t specify what you were thinking about.

“What makes you think that hard?” He tried to chuckle a little to lighten up the conversation, but you knew he wanted to know the details.

“Tsmukan… you know me. I just think about everything. About our family, about our home, about my feelings. And yes, I think about what happened, but there’s nothing to worry about.” You tried to calm down Neteyam, but he still had things to say.

“That’s exactly why I’m worried. That day I asked you if you’re okay, but you didn’t tell anything and look what happened. I don’t want to see my sister completely broken again. Don’t lie to me, you didn’t act like that for the past week.” His voice got a little rough as he remembered that day. Yeah, he was angry, but that’s only because he loved you.

“I’m fine, okay? Don’t make a drama of it. I don’t want to discuss my thoughts with you now. Let me think it out by myself if you trust me as your sister.” You also got a little annoyed by this conversation. You didn’t want to lie to him, but you had no choice. If any of your family will find out about your plans, they’ll tie you to the house.

Neteyam realized that he went a little hard on you and sighted in defeat. His big hands pulled you closer to him and hugged in a big brother way. You closed your eyes and wrapped you hands around his waist.

“I promise, I’ll tell you if something goes wrong, tsmukan.”

“I trust you, yawntutsyip”

***

The closer you got to your place, the more nervous you were. What if he’ll tell you bad things again? What would you do? Definitely won’t be able to protect yourself.

“Don’t be weak, Y/N!” You mumbled, trying to motivate yourself. “You’re warrior, protect yourself.”

You were so into cheering up yourself, that difficult notice a little branch on the ground and tripped over it, almost falling down. You would be injured if someone didn’t hold you.

Someone like Olo’eyktan’s son

Like Ao’nung

You slowly looked up at him, eyes widened in shock. All previous thoughts left your mind, leaving only basic ones.

He’s strong and dangerous

You suddenly flinched back, surprising both of you. Ao’nung didn’t want you to run away again, so he made some steps back to ensure you that he came in peace.

“Y/N, I don’t want to hurt you again.”

He raised his hands, showing that everything will be fine. You looked at him suspiciously, folding your arms over your chest not because you’re angry at him, but because you don’t want him to see your hands shaking.

“What do you want to tell me? If you intend to fight with me again, don’t do this. I’m really tired of all these fights.”

At that moment you wanted to cry. Looking at him, made all feelings that were asleep deep in your soul wake up again. Eyes became like two sparkling crystals.

“I’m- I’m sorry.” He cleared his throat. “Y/N, I’m really sorry for everything I said and did to you and your family. I was a real asshole and I didn’t understand it, I’m so sorry for this. I don’t hope for you to be my friend, but I hope to get at least the slightest chance to be forgiven. I won’t hurt you or your family again. Please, let me make it up for you and maybe get your trust. Please.”

You were too stunned to say something. Eyes are watery, you look at him trying to find words, but nothing happens. Ao’nung gets nervous as he sees how tears appear in your eyes. He’s wondering if he said something wrong.

“Y/N…” he started but was interrupted by someone’s hold on the back of his neck.

“Don’t worry, tsmukan. I’m fine, tsmukan. What’s what my trust means to you?”

Neteyam stood in front of you, holding Ao’nung firmly and completely furious. Disbelief and pain of betrayal in his eyes makes it hard to look at him. You don’t want to argue with him, but you know that you didn’t mean to upset him.

“Neteyam…”

“What? What lies do you want to tell me this time?” You whimpered a little, not being able to bare this tone. “All of us are trying to protect you, keep you safe and happy. Even Tuk worries about you, she couldn’t sleep when she knew that you’re hurt. Our mother is always looking for you or asks me to take care of you while she’s busy. Our dad feels guilt because he didn’t protect you when he could. All of us loose our nerves and sleep just so you go and see him secretly? We ask you only one thing. To stay away from him. And you disobeyed.” As he started to talking about Tuk, you bursted into tears. You didn’t know this, you didn’t want to hurt your family. “And you. Wasn’t it enough for you to understand that you have no right to even look at my sister? Your dad’s words mean nothing for you?” Neteyam finally payed attention to Ao’nung.

“I didn’t want to hurt you, Neteyam. All of you, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. That’s not why I am here, let me explain.” Trembling voice was like a knife cutting a heart for Neteyam, but he was also hurt and tired.

“I don’t need your explanations. I’m very disappointed in you.”

“Stop it!” Ao’nung got angry seeing this scene. Neteyam did the same thing that. He hurt you with words. “You are not any better then me. She’s not okay and you keep doing this to her. Stop being so dramatic and listen!”

“I won’t listen to you. You’ve done enough!” Atmosphere in this place really so tensed, you could feel it in the air.

“She has nothing to do with it. I asked her to come here to apologize because you and your little brother don’t let me do that! Do you think we can just forget about it without talking it out? Both Y/N and me need this conversation to keep living without burden on our hearts! Use just a little of your common sense, you skxawng!”

Instead of answering, Neteyam punched Ao’nung angrily. Emotions took over both of them. That Ao’nung’s their last piece of patience towards Neteyam. They started fighting as their lives depended on it. You were terrified of their fight, crying and trying to call them out.

But they didn’t hear you.

Then you tried to pull Neteyam back and separate from Ao’ung who was laying under him. Nothing helped, you were afraid this may be fatal.

“Stop it! Neteyam, stop! Why are you doing this?!”

You hit his back hard enough to get back his attention. He was breathing heavily and still looking at you angrily.

“Are you on his side? Really?”

“I’m not choosing sides. Let me talk to him.”

Tears falling down your cheeks, voice is quiet. You can’t see your brother, lovely tsmukan, looking at you this way.

Oh Eywa, why do you give me so many challenges?

“Okay. I see.”

He silently stood up and left this place, giving you the last disappointed look that made you fall on your knees and cry for help of Eywa.

Why is does it hurt so bad?

A/n: I’M SORRY I LOVE DRAMA😭 I hope you had a good read (and cry lol). Little Neteyam🥺 he’s also run out of energy to always be protective brother:( Idk what’s going to happen next, but stay tuned! I hope you liked this part🫶🏻

P.S. I would appreciate if you leave some feedback in comments🥹 It will motivate me to write more and understand what you feel about it💗

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[kumememe]

library talk at dusk (farleigh start x m! reader)

warnings: slightly edited but otherwise written in one go, spelling errors and grammar is sad, slightly ooc farleigh start, reader is male bc there is a lack of male reader love for this fandom note: hi, first work since forever... please be kind <3

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farleigh start was a simple man. when it comes to people he hates, he is often cruel, rude, and judgmental at every chance he interacts with them. he judges their poorly-coordinated clothes, their personalities that make them stick out like a bug, and he laughs at their misfortunes when he sees it happen upfront. as a cousin of the infamous felix catton, the self-proclaimed 'prince of oxford', he had a reputation to uphold. it wasn't like it was different from how he usually acted, no- it was more heightened to give its desired effect. people who were in the same major as him were often intimidated by him, and farleigh knew he had to be selective about who he wants as his friends. he couldn't let someone inferior to be part of his pack because why would he? only the worthiest would have the chance. and yet, everything changed when he met y/n l/n. that stupid brat. well, technically he wasn't a brat, but everything y/n did annoy the shit out farleigh. the way y/n was so kind, nice, and approachable, the way he carried himself so elegantly and effortlessly to the point where he got undivided attention by his peers and professors, the way he laughed and smiled at every single stupid joke his obnoxious classmates would toss at him- it was annoying. farleigh knew that the moment he saw y/n at the field, lying down on the grass as he laughed and sang along to the music his small circle of friends would play, the way his h/c hair would softly dance around in the breeze, with his irritatingly charming smile- he knew he had to hate him. and yet... at the same time, he couldn't. 

there was something different about him. farleigh knows differently when he sees it, and y/n isn't like people who wanted to be friends with him, desperately clawing at him to be let into his exclusive friend group to achieve status. no, y/n was unique. he didn't care much about status as he stayed true to himself, or at least what he wanted his own persona to be seen as through an outsider's lens. y/n was a bright young man, majoring in the same course farleigh was in, which he excelled at with him. y/n was the type to offer help to those who needed it, even as mundane as carrying books to the library. he was perfect in many ways farleigh couldn't understand, much to farleigh's dismay. he wanted to get to know him, but his reputation had to be held up. why? he felt it was an obligation, a rule to do so. with that, whenever y/n would approach him, he would give him some snarky remark.

"hey farleigh," y/n greets the tall male with a kind and unwavering smile. farleigh scoffs, crossing his arms, "hello, y/n. still sucking up to the professors, are you?" he would say sarcastically, trying to invoke some sort of negative reaction from the male but... it never works. y/n would  do what he always does- chuckle, shrug, and reply with some light joke. "i mean if it works, it works." y/n replied as he walked away, going to his group of friends who were waiting for him at the end of the hall. farleigh turns his head to see y/n being greeted by his peers, rolling his eyes at the way y/n brushed off his rude remarks. farleigh was a little annoyed. how can someone be so nonchalant, carefree, and just confident when it comes to this? was farleigh jealous? yes, but he would never admit it. if he was held at gunpoint, he wouldn't even budge. to say he was jealous of how y/n's natural uncaring yet kind behavior was an understatement.

but here farleigh was, in the crux of dusk, sitting in the library as with the very male he had a confusing opinion on. y/n and farleigh were paired on some project their professor had assigned. books, notebooks, pieces of yellow pad were scattered on the table, along with pens and laptops opened on the side. y/n tapped away on his laptop as he chewed on his lip, trying to think of how to write a certain paragraph more cohesively. farleigh was doing the same, but he was more interested to see what y/n was doing. he leans over slightly, taking a peak at y/n's work. "hm," he hums. y/n looks over his shoulder to give farleigh a curious look, before turning back to his paper. "do you think this argument is valid, farleigh?" y/n asks, highlighting the paragraph he just wrote down.

"i think it would be better if you gave one more supporting evidence." farleigh says, pointing at the end of the paragraph. "you need three solid evidences, and you have two so far. otherwise, i think it's good." farleigh says in an aloof tone, before going back to his own work. y/n sighs and stretches a bit, feeling his body become sore from how he had been slumped over for the past few hours. "i think it's time we take a break." he says quietly, saving his work on the file as he closes his laptop. he turns to farleigh, who was deeply focused on his work as he types quietly. the tall male's brows furrowed as he stared at the screen. y/n leans his head on his arm, which was propped up on the table. he opens his mouth to ask something, but hesitates slightly. with a shaky voice, he says, "you should take a break too." he says quietly, catching farleigh's attention as the brown-skinned male stops typing.

"y/n, this is due at midnight. we have no time to take a break." farleigh says sternly, running a hand through his hair as y/n shakes his head. "we've been working on this for... 4 hours straight. we're lucky that the librarian let us eat here while we worked." y/n expresses with a slight tired tone, "just five minutes, i swear." y/n promises.

farleigh reluctantly nods, sighing as he saves his work and turns his laptop off. "five minutes." he repeats, slumping into his chair as he closes his eyes for a bit. an awkward silence consumes the air between the two, before y/n spoke. "so..." he trails off, not knowing what to say as farleigh turns his head towards the latter, eyebrow raised expectantly. y/n clears his throat, "you know, i've always felt this vibe coming from you... the vibe that says that you don't like me." y/n says quietly, which surprises farleigh slightly. this was unexpected, he didn't think y/n would bring his passive-aggressiveness up as the conversation opener. it was understandable however, since the tension between them may grow if left unopened like a can of sardines. farleigh shifts in his chair slightly, "didn't think you'd finally notice." farleigh says in an unintentionally snarky tone. y/n frowns slightly, "it's kind of hard to ignore, to be honest... our banter always seems so playful from the outside but sometimes i just wonder if you do hate me." y/n looks down at his lap, before looking at the table in front of him.

this makes farleigh's heartstrings feel like they are being tugged at, as he didn't know that he had given a negative impression to the latter. farleigh stays silent for a bit, not knowing how to respond. he didn't know if his teasing was more or less just that. sure, he hated the way y/n was pure, and had no ill intentions in any of his actions with everyone he talks with- he was admirable, at best. maybe farleigh projected his insecurities too much on y/n, and he knew he was at fault. and yet... he swallowed the lump in his throat, having trouble forming the right words. once farleigh did, he made sure to explain his side carefully.

"i don't hate you." farleigh admits quietly as he crosses his arms, looking at y/n with a sincere gaze. this makes y/n's eyes widen slightly at the sincerity, eyes locking with farleigh. the tall brown male continues, "i guess my banter has left more than desired..." he says, looking away. farleigh takes a deep breath, "i let my insecurities get the best of me, and i let them out on you. I'm sorry."

y/n's gaze softened at the admission, the first time he didn't see the usual snark and judgemental attitude that the tall male would hide behind. y/n licks his dry lips, giving farleigh a warm smile. "d-don't worry, i don't hold it against you." he says softly, making farleigh roll his eyes. "see? this is what i mean, y/n."

"you're always so nice to everyone, so pure- you never seem to make any enemies. you're so free to do what you want and yet i'm here just..." farleigh huffs frustratedly. the confession hangs heavy in the air, with y/n sitting up properly. he adjusts his seat so he can place a careful hand on farleigh's shoulder. giving his shoulder a comforting squeeze. "farleigh," y/n starts gently, his voice filled with understanding. "thank you for your honesty, i appreciate it."

"but that doesn't mean you should compare yourself to me, or anyone else for that matter." y/n comforts, "we all have our ways of living life, our ow struggles... believe me. before i got to where i am now, i've been through my fair share of challenges."

farleigh looks at y/n, seeing the empathy in his eyes. he swallows the lump of saliva in his throat, as he listens to the h/c-haired male. "in my eyes, you have so much more to you than what meets the eye. you have so much potential for good, and you deserve to do what you want without being held back, okay?" he says tenderly. if y/n wasn't so damn kind, farleigh would have shrugged this off. but something in his gut knew that the former was right. "i apolgize if i'm being too serious, it's just... maybe it's time to let yourself relax and open up. well- technically you already did the last part but... you're capable of many great things."

farleigh chuckles at y/n's rambled advice, his tense shoulders relaxing. he has to admit it, he's starting to realize that maybe, just maybe, he liked y/n more than he hated him. "...thank you, l/n." he says with a heartfelt tone in his voice, such softness that makes y/n smile. y/n nods, "no worries, start." y/n releases the grip he had on farleigh's shoulder, much to farleigh's dismay. he lays both of his arms on the table, using them as a cushion for his head. "farleigh, you know since we are being candid here, i've always found you admirable."

farleigh's eyes flickered open just a touch wider, "really?"

y/n nods, "yeah. you're honest, not afraid of saying your own opinions... you have a confident aura that people like me wish for. confident, as in, you can just talk to anyone you would like with no struggle. not only that, but you are also arrogant. arrogant in a way that it is actually deserving since you are top of your class, smart, and..." y/n lists down, each sentence leaving him turning quieter as farleigh's grin widens every time. farleigh lets out a snicker, and y/n smiles. "what?" the latter asked, as farleigh shook his head. "it's cute that you admire me." he says with a hint of sarcasm, which makes y/n roll his eyes.

"oh, bug off, don't make me take it back." y/n threatens lightly.

farleigh takes a deep yet content sigh, already feeling the atmosphere lighten up as the two chuckled. with this cheesy opening up between the two, he knew that this shift will change their dynamic. and for once in his life, he can see y/n being a positive force in it. as he takes a look at the time on the wall clock, he turns to y/n with a small smile.

"whatever. come on, we have work to do."

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thanks for reading my bad work, lol, it has been a few years since i have written for any fandom, and i really appreciate anyone who reads this. if you have any suggestions, feel free to send them in. thank you :>>