#who is his casting agent because they are doing god's work

[redflagshipwriter]

Hot Ghouls in your Area 9

masterpost

“Good morning!”

Jason winced and moved the phone a little further from his face. “Is this Doctor Fenton?” 

“It's one of them! What can I do ya for?” Jack Fenton boomed, just as bombastic as his newsletter made him seem. Jason knew, deep in his heart, that Jack Fenton was indeed the one who had selected green neon bold for his headings and borders. 

Angels wept. Jason scrubbed his palm over his eye. This man had no poetry in his soul. “I, uh, had some questions about a ghost. I've read some of your articles and your most recent published paper on the topic.”

“We love ghosts!” Fenton bellowed. “Ask away!”

“Do you know a ghost called Phantom?” Jason tried.

“...Sure do,” Jack Fenton said. “Whatcha need?” 

Jason cleared his throat. “It's somewhat complicated,” he said evasively, because he didn't need these people to know he was the Red Hood. Fuck. He should have either gotten his helmet stored away or not given his real name. Phantom knew his face and that his name was Jason. Any information that got around via Phantom might tie his face to his alter ego. If Phantom said he got married to Jason, the Red Hood, that could lead to the end of the Bat family vigilantism.

“...He cause you trouble, sport?”

Jason let out a slight laugh. “You could say that, though it wasn't really his fault,” he admitted. He cast a paranoid eye out the window to be sure no siblings were creeping on him. “No, it's really more that…” Fuck, he should have planned this better. “Is there any information you can give me about how a human could contact him?” 

Not that Jason didn't have a phone number for the guy. But it made him very uncomfortable to have any basic knowledge or way to track Phantom down if he decided to leave Jason to whatever was going on. 

“I could probably do that,” Jack Fenton said slowly, now sounding like an entirely different human being. “Say, you wouldn't be Jeremy, would you?”

Jason blinked. “...How did you know?” He went with. Phantom had contact with a human guy named Jeremy? That might be his in.

“Oh, well then, you've definitely got to come over,” Dr. Fenton wheedled. It somehow came across as shifty. “You'll be wanting a whole primer on how the Ghost Zone works, won't ya?” 

“That would be immensely helpful,” Jason agreed. “But I'd hate to take up your valuable time.”

“Nonsense!” Fenton bellowed. Jason nearly lost his grip on his phone in surprise. “Come over Jeremy, I'm dying to meetcha!” 

So, there was a plan. Jason packed for a day trip and dialed up his travel agent. 

“Fuck off,” said Tim. “I'm busy. Christ.” 

“I need an airplane ticket and a rental bike to Illinois,” Jason continued. He tossed his mostly full bag on the sofa and went digging for the socks he knew he had washed the other night. “I'm going to go see some nerds about my impromptu adventure the other day.”

Tim groaned. That was the first Jason had given any hint at all about what had happened to him when he'd been ‘sacrificed.’ “What nerds?” He asked wearily. 

Jason grinned into his sock drawer. Gottem. “Why, do you all know each other?” He asked blithely. 

“Do you always antagonize people you want favors from?” Tim whined. A keyboard clacked rapidly in the background. “Jason, I swear to God, you massive bitch. Cut the crap and communicate, or I'm hanging up.” 

Jason frowned at his socks and grabbed a random pair. “You don't gotta be like that,” he said sulkily. He slammed the socks into his bag with a very unsatisfying silence. “So, the ritual doohickey sent me to the infinite underworld, I met a guy there actually and we are magically connected because he's who that dumb ritual matched me up to. He doesn't want to be stuck with a human so we are on the same page about breaking this. We started looking for answers and he took me back to Earth since it's not good for humans to be in the green dimension for too long.” 

There was silence from the other end of the line for a few seconds. “You're fucking lying,” Tim said. 

“Only by leaving things out.” A bit stung, Jason pulled a hand through his hair and accidentally ruined his good hair day. 

“What are you leaving out?” Tim rejoined swiftly.

Jason laughed at him. “You think you're getting that kinda information in exchange for plane tickets?” He asked incredulously. 

“You are the most annoying person who has ever tried to kill me.”

Ouch. That genuinely stung.

“Fuck off.” Jason slammed the drawers shut. 

“I could guess aliens or supernatural off of what you just said.” Tim ignored Jason’s very good point. “Based off of your trip to the Gotham U campus and-”

“Are you still stalking me?” Jason cut him off, incredulous. He scoffed. “Little buddy, you already got my pixie boots, Red Robin costume, and my Dad. What else do you wanna take from me?”

“I think that you were there to assess Daniel Fenton,” Tim ignored him.

Jason was silent for a moment. There was probably no point in pretending that Tim was wrong. “You already knew about the Fenton’s connection to the supernatural.” He was suddenly tired.

“His older sister is an intern at Arkham, she stepped out of line to get a chance to talk to Jeremy Waters.” Tim didn’t seem to notice that the mood had changed. He was caught up on whatever twenty level plan was whirring away internally.

Jason looked at the wall for a moment, not bothering to think about why that name was familiar. “...and that is…?”

“The guy who kidnapped you, keep up,” Tim snarked. “Her supervisor guessed what she was hinting at, shut her down, put a note about it in the private server so there was a paper trail if she turns out to be a collaborator.”

““Private” is a strong word to describe that server.” Jason rubbed at his jawline and hefted his bag out to the bathroom to gather his shaving kit. 

“Mmhm,” Tim said blandly. “I bugged her phone. The signal is absurdly bad, unexplainably bad. She doesn’t send a lot of messages, but she had a very suspicious call with Daniel Fenton where, among other things, she hinted she had inside knowledge regarding some kind of local mystery, possibly criminal activity. Her brother accused her of supporting crime.”

Jason groaned. “I’m going to interview their parents.” He checked that the razor blades were stowed away correctly before snapping shut the travel case. Then he noticed that his bathroom mirror could use a wipedown. He left his bag for a moment to dig for the cleaner.

“Probably for the best,” Tim said, definitely misunderstanding his purpose. “They seem…” He trailed off when he couldn’t find an appropriate adjective.

“You should read a book,” Jason said, because he saw an opportunity to be an asshole. “Anyway, I wanna get out to the area tonight and see them in the morning. What’s my flight?” He spritzed the glass and watched his reflection blur. It was oddly comforting to not have to stare at his green eyes.

‘That ghost zone was the same green as the Lazarus Pits,’ Jason thought dully. He didn’t really want to think about it. But he had a pretty good idea why he hadn’t had the reaction to the place that Danny expected a human to have.

“Kon could take you,” Tim said sweetly, which was basically a death threat. It was enough to jar him back to the real world. Kon was still not feeling chill about the Titans Tower scuffle. It probably wasn’t good for him to be so petty, but Jason was not going to be the one to tell baby Superdork that.

Jason winced. “I was thinking more like United.”

Tim snickered. 

[a-substantial-trash-pile]

Studio TV Solutions presents Half Life VR but the AI are Self-Aware (2020) [not a real movie]. A movie with a totally improv’d script starring a moltey crew who are sure to give you a rip-roarin’ good time!

anyway hi new au just dropped. i’m calling it HLVRAIM. it’s HLVRAI but it’s a blockbuster movie and the science team are played by actors. i have many thought on backstories n stuff that i will stick under a “read more” here otherwise this post will be hella long on people’s dashes. 👇👍 pls care about this i thought so hard and much

Half Life VR but the AI are Self-Aware was put out by Studio TV Solutions in 2020 and destroyed the box office with how fun it was and how well the cast played off one another. The cast was given a general outline for the script with the goal for it to be mostly improv.

Gordon Freeman: Mannie Flores (Dominican American, age 28, he/him) - Popular Youtuber/Twitch streamer (“Radi0Mann”). Got offered the role in HLVRAI thanks to the creative things he’s done in his Youtube/Twitch career. This is his first “official” acting gig. He was pretty starstruck at first, but then as he got to know everyone, he realized they’re all a bunch of dorks (affectionate). - Started off as a gaming channel, but then started branching off into various creative endeavors as he got more popular. He still plays games too though. - One of the things Mannie did in his internet career that hit the mainstream was when he wrote, directed, starred in, and filmed his own movie in just 2 weeks because he failed a bet with his audience. Except the movie was actually really good and funny and heartfelt (i want to say it was about “a man who got left behind on earth after everyone else was raptured because god literally forgot about him”, but i think the concept might’ve been done already). - Met Benji through HLVRAI. They hit it off and now they’re dating. They tried to keep it secret for a while but Mannie had a slip-up during a stream that sort of blew it out of the water.

Benrey: Benji Song (Japanese/Chinese, age 30, he/they) - Started off as a film sound designer in the industry, then through a series of silly willy little events—possibly even shenanigans—got roped into a role in a passion indie film that became wildly acclaimed and flung him into the spotlight. Been an actor ever since, but isn’t the most proactive in taking jobs much to their agent’s annoyance. People never know where he’ll pop up next. Sometimes Benji will sneak in sound designer work behind their agent’s back. - Honestly likes background work more because everyone’s got these expectations of them as an actor that they feel pressured to meet. But he’s also afraid of disappointing people. He’s working on it. - Met their partner Mannie through HLVRAI. Totally was a fan of his streams/videos beforehand though. When they mention that, Mannie gets flustered. - Does music as a hobby. Electronic stuff mostly—enjoys mashing together all sorts of sounds and trying to make them work. After HLVRAI, Mannie’s streams gets cool new music that’s made by somebody going by “johnwicklover1994.” wink

Harold Coomer: Hau’oli “Hau” Kaleo-Kirchhoff (Hawaiian/Samoan, age 66, he/him) - Old musician who’s supposed to be retired but once in a while will release a song or even do a concert (but nothing crazy). - Hau’oli is pronounced [hh-ow-oh-lee], but he also goes by “Hau” for the haoles’ sake. :) Kaleo is [kah-leh-oh]. also Hau’oli sounds a little bit like the name Holly so that’s a fun coincidence i didn’t realize until later. - Most of his music is chill island tunes but he has been known to dabble in rock and jazz. - Married to Mose (been together for 30 years and counting).

Bubby: Mose Kaleo-Kirchhoff (German, age 69 [nice], xe/him) - Veteran actor—been in the acting industry for a long time. One of his more well-known roles was in a popular sci-fi series. - Married to Hau’oli (they got married the moment it was legal). - i went with a name that started with “M” cuz when Gordon first asks Bubby for his name, xe’s like, “mmm Bubby.” and i headcanon it’s because Mose was about to say xir own name and had to swerve last minute and the thing his brain resorted to was Bubby lol.

Tommy Coolatta: Luis Tanglao (Filipino, age 37, he/they) - Child star who dropped out of the industry when he hit his teens and then came back years later as a comedian. He has material about how fucked up being a child star was. Will only take acting roles if it interests them. - They don’t care about how the public/media sees him. He’ll speak his mind and call out BS when he sees it. Interviewing them can be a war zone. - Hosts a popular podcast with some buds they discuss things like video games, their lives, news, etc. Just shooting the shit. - Sunkist is their actual dog and she modeled for the png photo that was used. Her name is actually Biko. She is a very good girl. <3

Darnold Pepper: Sage Haven (African American, age 40, he/her/they) - Famous cooking show host who gets offered roles in movies. Got popular by how unconventional her meals and cooking methods are and how funny he is. - Has had multiple food/cooking/baking shows over the years. Every competition-based one they’ve had focused more on good vibes, fun, and encouraging one another rather than drama. One show involved people competing to see who could make the best full course meal with the catch being they could only cook everything in a microwave. Many microwaves perished. - Changed their name to Sage Haven during their transition. They chose it because it reflects his passion and also is a play on the phrase “safe haven”, which is what she wants to be to others. - He has an adoptive daughter named Kit. She helped them think up bits and jokes. She also had to help explain what Half-Life was.

haven’t gotten to gman and forzen’s actors yet unfortunately. thinking gman’s actor could be a talk show host? because that would be funny. anyway thanks for humoring me on my shenanigans. bye

[maddie7writes]

EXS AND OHS

summary : y/n and harry are recently engaged, but in y/n’s line of work, she runs into lots of his exs and their not all happy for the couple

warnings : just bitter people

harry’s dating history wasn’t exactly a secret, but the list of exs would come to a hault, as the 50,000 dollar diamond sat on y/n’s ring finger with pride. but y/n wasn’t exactly a nobody, she had two vouge covers and three world tours under her belt along with opening and closing fashion week malin, paris, and new york, and not to mention several blockbuster movies.

she was kind of a big deal.

but in her line of work, she had lots of run ins with her loves exs, and they weren’t always pleasant.

—

y/n was booked for victorias secrets comeback show, and she was a nervous wreck. her strict diet made harry worried sick, and her coworkers were starting to worry y/n.

“and you’re sure you want to come? i understand if you don’t—.” “—y/n i love you. i’m goin’ to be at everything for the rest of your life. even if my ex is there.” he assured with a kiss to her forehead. she sighed, and a week later found herself in hair and makeup getting ready to strut out like she was on top of the world.

“make sure to flash that ring okay? it’s been on covers for the past month.” her agent said, as she stared down the poor hair and makeup crew. y/n heard a distant scoff in the background but she chose to ignore it. “i thought for the show it had to come off?” y/n asked, she didn’t exactly want to part with it but she didn’t want to break any rules. “not when the one who gave it to you is harry styles. trust me, the show will be memorable because of the ring.” her agent scoffed with a few taps to her phone then back to insane staring.

just then, the busty, perfectly thin blonde, with small bronze chrome wings came walking around in lingerie. “the reason he never proposed to me is because his taste in rings never met my standards.” camllie gossiped to a fresh faced girl, clearly new-ish to the modeling world. y/n rolled her eyes and kept her thoughts to her self.

when y/n got out of hair and makeup she was draped in gold lingerie with diamonds dripping from the bra. it was for their anniversary line, and the bralette would only be sold to select clientele. the matching panties were gold as the metal brushed the modesty garment she wore. then large gold wings were applied, weighing less then she has anticipated.

“she’ll open, then jenner and rowe will follow ten paces behind, wait at the top of the runway and walk back before them.” a manager explained to y/n and her agent. y/n nodded before being moved to were she was directed, greeting kendall with a smile and hug.

“i haven’t seen you in forever!” kendall smiled and embraced her, the two went on a brand trip together before she got engaged and at the start of her and harry’s relationship and ended up sipping on margaritas and gossiping on a yacht the whole time. privileged and elite? sure, but they had a great time.

“i know, we have to do a trip just us.” y/n smiled, kendall was already grabbing her hand to see the ring. “god! he’s always had good taste but y/n this is gorgeous.” she gasped and looked between the ring and y/n. camille scoffed beside her. “please, the diamond has a blue tint. i doubt it’s even real.” camille rolled her eyes.

“it’s tinted blue because he chose to not stain it. he went water mining when we were in bali, someone helped him find it, and he chose to not stain it.” y/n clarified, just like that the lights cut and ariana grandes unmistakable vocals of dangerous woman was heard, y/n was counted off and she strutted out.

—

y/n would definitely say her least favorite job was acting. there was so much drama in almost every romance movie she’s filmed, so when she was casted as gwen for the fourth spider-man movie to bring a love triangle into poor spider-man’s life, she was excited that it would be an action movie even if she was playing a love interest.

that was of course until she figured out who would be working on the movie with her.

olivia wilde.

y/n tried to remain professional, tho it was difficult with tom seeing as he was so giggly about everything, and zendya was laughing about how forced tom looked. everything was more natural with tom and zendya tho, so to switch between his girlfriend and his friend must have been weird for tom, so y/n tried to keep that in mind and remind her it wasn’t her fault the scenes weren’t working the way she wanted them to.

however one of the directors did not agree.

“y/n, can you step off set for a moment.” olivia’s voice sounded, tom looked confused as did y/n before she stepped off set as she was asked and followed oliva nervously.

“is there an issue?” y/n asked. oliva scoffed, “of course there is. this scene should have taken four takes, max. we have over forty of you and tom laughing. if you can’t play a love interest we will have to find someone who can.” she scolded, y/n was slightly offended.

two actors that have never worked together, taking on a role in a movie where they’re meant to be navigating love together, is not easy. and their first kissing scene might take a few try’s, but that’s not enough to threaten y/n’s contract over.

“unfortunately you might want to check the contract marvel signed, this is not cause for termination, and you cannot terminate my contract period. but if you would like to submit a claim that i am unable to preform my required task, i will happily take that battle with management. i really don’t want to waste anyone’s time so should i head back to set or?” y/n looked at oliva innocently with a smirk, brushing her hair back so her ring caught the light.

“watch you back, l/n.”

“styles. but close.”

safe to say y/n reported that threat and oliva wasn’t heard from again.

—

“you look absolutely divine.” harry came up behind her, kissing the exposed skin on her neck from her half slicked wave, old hollywood hairstyle. y/n laughed as she looked at them in the mirror. harry, in his colorful sparkly patch work jumpsuit, and her in her all black,

a-symmetrical neckline of the all black floor length dress she wore. their two personalities showing on their faces. she was so excited for tonight, she had a good feeling about harry’s changes of the trophy.

“you ready to sweep tonight?” she asked, he blushed. “don’t jinx me, the grammys don’t tend to like me.” he said in a hushed voice, y/n rolled her eyes and kissed her husbands cheek deeply. “not this year. i can feel it.”

her words ended up being true, with harry’s complete sweep. he was overcome with emotion, and y/n sat with him through all of it. holding his hand and even kissing him when he induced it, which was rare seeing as he hated pda especially when cameras were around.

they had plans to skip the after party and go get a pizza with the band and team, then go home and celebrate like old people with sleep. however their plans were put to a hault when taylor swift approached. y/n, ever the swiftie, was sure she was about to pass out as she squeezed her fiancés hand.

“congratulations harry.” she smiled and hugged him briefly before turning back to y/n. “and your performance was amazing, i had no idea your range was so good?” taylor said, y/n’s eyes went wide and she nodded. “oh yeah- yeah thanks.” she tried to laugh it off and leaned into harry’s comforting touch, he tried to hold back a laugh and taylor could tell.

“i have a few ideas and i want you to be a part of it, here’s my number— new number—.” she glanced at harry. “—and call me, so we can start scheming.” she winked at y/n, who was definitely dead. “congrats again harry.” she patted his shoulder before turning around and going to find her other friends.

“holy shit.” y/n whispered as she clutched taylor swifts number. harry chuckled and kissed her, “we can call her in the morning yeah? pizza and sleep okay?” he said, only to be welcomed with a large kiss and a i love you.

four months later, here y/n was, doing her one night only with taylor fucking swift.

harry was sitting in the 1989 friends and family box, with gigi, zayne, and their daughter as they caught up. gigi made sure to comment on how harry’s all access pass said ‘STYLE MUSE’ instead of harry styles.

the concert was perfect, everything was amazing. after all, taylor was considered the one of the best performers of all time. then as she stayed on stage after her two surprise songs, fans cheered even louder than usual.

“i actually have something i want to give you guys.” fans bracelets began flashing blue as screams could almost shatter the stadium, taylor laughed.

“i think you guys noticed i skipped style tonight.” she smirked, louder screams were heard and y/n stood backstage in her light blue wide legged pants, and white satin top. waiting nervously for her cue as they adjusted her headset and in ear microphone.

“i also want to throw in just one more surprise song, just for you guys!l she said excitedly, but didn’t wait for the crowd to quiet as she used the mic to talk over them. “please welcome miss y/n styles!” she screamed, and the stadium screamed back as the beat to style began to play.

harry recorded like a proud husband and sang along to every word as he watched y/n dance around on stage, in her element to a song he inspired.

“you got that long hair slick back white t-shirt.” both the girls flicked part of their hair over to imitate harry back in one direction, and ran a hand from their neck down to their pelvis as they sung, then tossed one shoulder and strutted down the diamond like models. which y/n was, harry thought to himself.

style passed, the loudest cheer in the whole room came from harry. so happy to see the woman he loved getting to work with her idol and be so happy doing it.

“i think there’s one more that goes to perfectly with us, don’t you think taylor?” y/n asked, fighting back the happy tears in her eyes. taylor bit back a smile and nodded, “what do you think Los Angeles?” she asked, they screamed. and the beat to i think he knows began to play.

the girls sang and danced along with the crowd, harry didn’t know this song very well so he was hyper focused on making sure to get all of y/n’s performance while also watching her.

“he’s got that boyish look that i like in a man.” y/n sung, and stopped dancing as she looked at taylor.

“i am an architect i’m drawing up the plans.” taylor copied the movements.

“he’s so obsessed with me and boy i understand.” y/n flipped her hair jokingly, making sure to flash the ring before both girls turned to face each other taylor grabbing y/n’s hand to look at the ring before screaming the line; “boy i understand!”

harry’s heart was skipping around 13th avenue.

[molinaesque]

Okay I mentioned that I had a bunch of Raphael thoughts and basically made a whole essay (in literally no actual format, this is just me vomiting out parsing thoughts and using it when lore dumping onto my friends). This is written based off of stuff you find in the game, some Wiki diving and my own thoughts.

Feel free to hit me up with some topics that we can talk about. And remember, these involve are my own thoughts and headcanons at the end of the day, so please act normally and don't come at me with pitchforks just because I have something that doesn't align with your specific HC.

A Prince's Tale: The Story of Raphael

In the universe of Faerûn, there exists a heaven and hell, or in this case the Heavens and the Hells. There are the Nine Hells of Baator, all ruled and lorded over by various archdevils. Raphael is the son of the ruler of the eighth circle of Hell, the archdevil, Mephistopheles. Raphael is a cambion which consists of a fiend and a mortal. Cambions then are considered "results of unnatural and unholy communion". In Raphael's case it's a bit more complicated because the fiend in this equation isn't just some lower being like an incubus or some other demon but a true Devil, making Raphael leagues above, both in power and rank, other typical Cambions, just purely due to his association and blood of being Mephistopheles' offspring.

The system in the Hells is extremely rigid and hierarchical (it's a system that has been upheld for eons. Many of the systems that make up the universe of D&D are as deeply rigid and rooted). Many of the themes of the characters of Baldur's Gate 3 consist of them either repeating the cycle or breaking its hold, which in the D&D verse is an extremely hard thing to do because of how long standing these systems are. In regards to the Hells, it works like a pyramid. The top of the food chain and order are the archdevils. There are many archdevils that reside and rule over each circle of the Hells, one however rules all and lives in the Ninth circle, Nessus; Asmodeus.

So what does Raphael want? The integral key item and centerpiece of the main plotline of BG3 dubbed only as 'The Crown', created by Karsus. Karsus was a very powerful, most would say perhaps THE most powerful wizard who ever lived. An archwizard/demi-god responsible for creating and casting a spell that would steal the power of a deity and transfer it to the archwizard who casted it. Eventually, this was a mistake, for one of the responsibilities of the deity of magic was to regulate the flow of magic to and from all beings, spells, and magic items in the world. He did not have the ability to do so properly, causing magic to surge and fluctuate, threatening that balance. This caused the flying cities of Netheril to plummet to the earth. The last thing Karsus sees is his entire civilization being destroyed because of his actions. This will be known as 'Karsus' Folly'.

Raphael tells you about this story and how he was there to witness it happen all those years ago. He wanted the Crown to himself but it was stolen and put into hiding. He later finds out that Mephistopheles, his father was the one responsible for stealing it. Now, here's a way to explain the fucked up power levels and why it plays so much of a factor especially in the Nine Hells. I mentioned how Raphael is not a typical Cambion, BUT even though he is technically a prince by birthright and a half true devil, it doesn't make a difference under the likes of archdevils like his father (who doesn't help at all with Raphael's behaviour because Mephistopheles is a MEGA asshole. I mean, there's a reason why Raphael never utilised his name to invoke influence and power, doesn't even call him father, that's how much he hates him. You only find out about it through Haarlep. He even had another child, a daughter, who he cared more about by making her a trusted double-agent against one of his rivals. Meanwhile, he treats Raphael like nothing and acts as if he doesn't exist for the most part). Basically, unless you are an archdevil in the Hells, you are never TRULY free. As power, literally = freedom in the Hells. Raphael realises this and so began his lifelong ambition to get that power. That came with the events of Karsus' Folly. Realising that this is the opportunity and power Raphael needed, he attempts to steal it only for it to be taken by none other than his own father. Now, you think "ah Mephistopheles wants that power for himself, right?" No. Here is how far apart the levels of power are between beings like Mephistopheles (beings such as archdevils/archwizards/demi-gods/gods/etc) and beings like Raphael, who is already a pretty substantial and powerful Devil by his own right.

Raphael has been coveting the Crown and its power for 10 centuries, a thousand years, essentially. It's his one source that can possibly give him the chance of taking even more control of the Hells and ultimately make him TRULY a free devil. It's his life's mission that has been going on until he's practically in his middle age in devil years (his human appearance showcases this, and we also see a younger Raphael in his devil form with Haarlep). Half of his (immortal) life. It is very crucial and important to him.

And yet… to Mephistopheles, it's just a souvenir. A trinket. Or as Raphael puts it, "a museum piece".

This, undoubtedly angered Raphael so much and made his hatred towards his father even more so (Raphael mentioned how he raged for a decade, understandably). The fact that not only does his father treat him as if he doesn't exist, but to add insult to injury, did this while mocking him by not taking him seriously. One of the things he did was to send an incubus, Haarlep, made and glamoured to be an exact copy of Raphael, to distract him. It could also be seen as a message of "here is my gift to you and it is one of the only few things that will ever be 'truly' yours; a copy of yourself". Raphael would have been the first image that Haarlep acquired, thus why the constant form that you see him with is of Raphael (Haarlep tells you this if you kill him and speak to his corpse). Haarlep's corpse also tells you that "Raphael only loves himself." I wonder why. Haarlep also has a contract that requires him to obtain 1000 souls (the runes on his harness have been translated to the number '1000') in order to be free. This is why the archivist in House of Hope tells you that special guests can reside in the boudoir, as this is a primary way for Haarlep to collect more souls. If you sleep with him, and allow him to have your heart and soul, you die. If you promise your body only, you live but he now has a full copy of you entirely. Additionally, we know Gortash was sold to be in Raphael's services when he was a boy. We know that Gortash and the other Chosen eventually stole the Crown from Mephistopheles' vault. What's interesting is if you explore the House of Hope, you can find a portal to the eighth circle of Hell, Cania, where Mephistopheles resides. I believe that Gortash utilized this to obtain the Crown. Imagine the sheer rage and embarrassment Raphael had to endure because of this. Not only did the Crown get snatched from under him once but TWICE. Once by his father, and then later by a boy who was under his charge. I can completely imagine Mephistopheles utilising that as additional ammo and lording that over Raphael's head.

In pertaining to Raphael's character and behavior, all of this explains additionally as to why Raphael is the way he is. It's selfish, insecure behavior that also explains the portraits he surrounds himself with. Notice how all the paintings are of his true form. He also has many lines of dialogue depending on what you pick during your various meetings where he truly gets angry. One of these lines is him shouting "I AM NO MORTAL" when you simply ask why he would succeed where Karsus had failed (which is ironic because, my guy, you are part mortal, so was Karsus but he was very powerful for many other reasons other than pure association and blood. Raphael even tells you how foolish of a notion it would be if you suggest that you could take the Crown for yourself, telling you that archdevils, wizards, and gods have worn the Crown, "it would tear you apart" he warns you). The portraits of his Devil form in House of Hope surrounding him is a way of constant reminder to himself of what he wants to be associated with. He HATES that he is part mortal (he has showcased his disdain for the mortal realm very clearly during your encounter in House of Hope) and wants to see himself as only a Devil. To say that dude's got major issues and complexes is a huge understatement. He's a deeply insecure being who's controlling and manipulative (most of it stemming from his father and his predicament of essentially living a half-life), but he's also a pragmatic, self-aware character. He's very much the epitome of Lawful Evil. If the players choose to only see him as a one note character who's just "self-centered and evil", you can. That's the beauty of Baldur's Gate. These things are true,but you can also add on top of that when you choose to find out and explore for more lore and characterization.

Interestingly, the way he treats someone who opposes him compared to those who don't are very stark in contrast. You see it with the prime examples of Hope (naming the house after her due to her being the one soul who he cannot convert and have on his team completely) and of her sister Korilla, who has mentioned that she loves being in service of Raphael completely as he has treated her with respect and given her more freedom than her previous master ever did, who in her own words, "constantly would beat me and feed me scraps". "Better to be free in the Hells than go begging in the Heavens", she tells you. She's also not blindly following Raphael or under any thrall. In fact she makes light of him and his antics to you completely of her own volition. She made a bet with Raphael whether you would survive and get to Baldur's Gate (which Raphael bet FOR you to succeed btw). You can find the Five Soul Coins they bet for in the safe hidden behind the portrait in HoH. And she doesn't sing his praises completely, saying that she's more skeptical of you than Raphael is and is fearful of how wrong he would be banking everything on you, saying "Raphael can be so very wrong". She basically tells you that Raphael won't shut up about you. She also tells you that Raphael is, in her own words, "by no means altruistic" and argues that Raphael truly wants to not have the world destroyed because it would simply mean, as she puts it "the boss did the balance sheets. No world, no souls". In fact, she BEGS you to reconsider if you didn't take the deal in the first place.

One could argue that Raphael residing in Avernus and having him in proximity of mortals more in comparison to the deeper levels of the Hells, gave him more perspective. He even tells you he doesn't want Baldur's Gate to be destroyed. He tells you, fondly, he couldn't possibly want that to happen because the city is "an object lesson of moral excess". Why would he want a huge primary source of deals and contracts for him gone. If you explore the House of Hope, many of his deals range from complex, twisted deals to simple, straightforward ones with no caveats (for example there is a debtor who tells you that he sold his soul for enough money to keep his family well fed. Done. No trickery. That was the end of it. Even the architect of Moonrise Towers attested to Raphael keeping his word and defeating Ketheric's forces way back then). In Raphael's own words, "I'm a man of my word" and he wasn't lying. There's a reason why he has practically a 99.9% conversion rate (his one big failure being Hope and why he's so obsessed with converting her is because he truly cannot understand how one can be so pure of a soul. She's a puzzle, and Raphael HATES it when he can't figure something out). If you're wondering why can't Raphael (or any other devil) force or lie about the contracts they have made, well that's literally by design. Asmodeus created a law that bars devils from doing so, and devils will get punished severely would they ever take advantage of that. That's also why devils have to be extra sneaky when being contractors because if they die, it doesn't matter. The contracts they made while still alive still stays intact until they are completed. Meanwhile, the contract just gets given to another devil. When Raphael tells you in HoH if you asked him for no more bloodshed, he tells you "you've given me no choice". He means this, as it would mean both you AND he would be punished regardless if he were to let it be.

Mol is another example of a straightforward transaction. He wasn't lying when he said he'll keep Mol safe from harm in exchange for becoming her patron. It's not for something nebulous like "she has to become the leader of the guild in the next 20 years" or something extreme, it was just "I'll be your patron in return for your safety and security". He sees her as a long standing investment. Raphael mentioned that he hates children, but there is ONE thing he values above all else and admires when he recognizes it. "Ambition." He tells you he sees that in Mol during the meeting at Last Light Inn. It's also believable that he sees himself in Mol (especially his younger self) and thought "I respect it and I get another easy contract. Win-win". The dude loves underdog stories since his own is practically one as well. In fact, Mol doesn't like it when you treat her condescendingly. If you remember the chess scene in Last Light Inn, there are ways she can lose but also various ways she can win (and no, you don't have to only pick helping her cheat for this to work). If you help her cheat, she wins. If you help her by giving her an offensive strategy, she wins (in fact Raphael knows that she cheated, and if she won legitimately, even comments about the move and stating that it's a legit maneuver in chess and praises Mol for it saying that it's "exactly what I would've done"). Either way, Raphael praises your suggestions when Mol leaves. If however, you don't offer advice, or tell Mol to be defensive, she looses, prompting Raphael to comment on how being non committal or weak will not help Mol in the long run. If you stole her contract, she doesn't mind it too much BUT if you killed Raphael and told her about it, she will HATE you. Hating how you killed her patron, "Big Raph" as she calls him, that would ensure her safety and security as long as she's under contract. It's another additional interesting subplot that doesn't really have anything to do with the grand scheme of the game, but adds even more layers to already fascinating characters.

This dichotomy is what makes Raphael a very complex and interesting character. He's a devil who wants Ultimate Power, make no mistake, but he also is pragmatic enough to realise that he does not want another "Karsus' Folly". In fact, he could have easily just done an Emperor to gain your trust wholeheartedly and then turn on you the moment you have the Crown. It would have been easier for him. But he chose to bank on you being a long term investment maybe even beyond the Crown, meeting you head on and reveal his true nature to you from the first meeting. If you listen to everything he tells you, he never actually lies, he omits things here and there, but he never lies to you (in fact if you become even more on his team, there is a line where he straight up tells you that he "likes you"). It's a similar relationship with Korilla, in that she has complete free will but is for his team. He mentions that he does not like it when people beg or kiss his ass (there are many examples of this, his conversation with Voss for one and also whenever you choose dialogue options that make you seem like a spineless whimp). He even tells you at points that he likes the way you do things (even if they're a bit unorthodox), and if you took his contract but chose to break it (or just stole the hammer, it's the same regardless), it makes it even more personal because he genuinely was shocked to find that you were the one breaking into his house. This is one of the few times we see Raphael truly angry. No fancy words, no charm, no smarmyness. Just anger and even sheer disappointment that you chose to, in his own words, "become like Karsus, disregarding everything and burning your world to ash" (remember, Raphael truly believes that his method with the hammer and Orpheus is the ONLY way to defeat the brain, that's the unfortunate part of obsessing and planning for this goal for so long that he truly believes there are no other alternatives. He mentions in one of his diaries that he has planned a dozen ways to obtain the Crown, but he concludes that there is only one way for it to actually work and it involves Orpheus, hence the creation and naming of "The Orphic Hammer". There's even a book about its creation in HoH). Hell, even one of the dialogue options where you say "there's no need for more bloodshed", you would think he'd just be like "HAHAHA evil dialogue, i planned this all along, you're nothing, blah blah" but instead he actually says in his own words, "I have no choice" because we know that breaking contracts means death, and death means he has to collect your soul. Even if you didn't sign the contract and break in, he still genuinely did not think you would go so far as to do such a thing especially with the offer he made to you. He basically blames you for being too proud to do such a thing.

Even when you don't take his contract at all, when you meet up with the Emperor again in the Astral Prism during the battle against the Netherbrain, choosing to betray the Emperor will cause Raphael to appear for a final time. Does he just offer you the contract again? Yes. But not before scolding you for being an idiot and genuinely being pissed off at you for not taking his deal to free Orpheus. He even tells you in his own words, "we could have been allies, partners… FRIENDS!" If you try to beg him for help, he shouts at you, saying how you are in no position to make demands anymore because of your reckless actions. You made your bed, you have to recognise it. If you still refuse his offer, he doesn't try to force you, or twist your arm in any way… he just tells you, quote, "Goodbye. It's been unforgettable" (which is his way of saying "i won't forget you… but i also won't forget how much of a fucking blind idiot you were) and then leaves you forever. If you take the deal, he tells you it's no longer as equals anymore, you are now considered a lowly servant to him. He genuinely wanted you to be partners, but doing all of this basically leads him to conclude that you aren't worth it anymore. The way the writers chose to have the Emperor and Raphael parallel each other but in different ways is genius. They are two sides of the same coin. Both want true freedom, both try to manipulate Tav, the main characters for their own cause, both are extremely pragmatic and set in their own ways and goals. The irony is that instead of portraying Raphael as this pure scheming, one note character - is flipped on it's head by making him honestly, one of the most truthful characters in the game. It's just that he's a Devil. As Korilla states when you ask her back at the brothel, "why can't Raphael just be clear with me if we are on the same team?" she tells you as if explaining that the sky is blue…

"He's a Devil. It's in his nature. He has to make his dues."

This speaks of how ancient and deeply rooted these laws and systems work in their universe. Typically, characters says stuff like this to be hyperbolic/dramatic. But in the case of Raphael as a Devil, she means this literally, as souls keep the Hells functionable, and as we know by now, souls = power, and more power = more freedom.

Now, to address the epilogue and what happens if you do make the pact with him and delivered upon your promise. He comes to you and tells you that he and his forces are already taking over Avernus and overthrew Zariel. He tells you that he has various archdevils already coming to him to make concessions, his father included. He also tells you that he'll be knocking on your door soon. This is open to interpretation, but remember he has sworn to you during your deal that he would never use the Crown on a mortal (trust me, with his obsession with the Hells and how he envisioned on ruling it, in his own words "more order, efficiency, and control", he is definitely more interested in dominating the Hells only, it's too much work anyhow to be interested in anything else. Also he swore to you as part of the contract, he literally cannot break this, if he does, it's immediate punishment for him, so he's not lying). So, more than likely, he finds you to be a very important potential ally to further work with in the future. Also, depending on how early you signed the contract, his tone/line can be interpreted VERY differently.

Now here's the most interesting part… if you aren't familliar with D&D lore, that epilogue would lead you to believe "oh damn he's going to be ruler of the Nine Hells just like he wanted, good for him", but that's easier said than done. Because not only the deeper the Hells go, the more powerful these archdevils will be. I have no trepidation about him defeating them or them conceding to him, that's already happening. The one obstacle he truly needs to worry about… is the keeper of the Ninth Hell, the ruler of all the Nine Hells of Baator, Asmodeus. The creator and overlord himself. Just to give you a concept of how the power levels work in D&D… level 12 and above, are almost levels of godhood. Think the likes of Hercules. At the level Asmodeus is at, however, a former deity (speculative) and creator of the laws and system that permits the balance of life and the universe itself, Raphael even with the Crown will have… a VERY slim chance of overruling him. At the very least he could take over the other realms or instill his way of order and control, and appeal to Asmodeus, because funny enough, Asmodeus' personality and behaviour and goals is VERY similar and akin to Raphael's (Asmodeus is the primal embodiment of Lawful Evil and a supreme strategist of unparalleled skill. He's good at warfare but even better at words, planning, and subterfuge). Another thing is Raphael might even change his own mind, because Asmodeus isn't just the ruler of the Hells, his primary existence is to keep the balance of life and death and the existing universe in check. I personally don't see Raphael being interested in such a huge responsibility but that's another topic for another day.

Another fun fact, many of the characters in D&D are existing characters in various cultural stories/mythologies. Many of the archdevils included with the likes of Mephistopheles, Baalzebub, Mammon, and yes even Asmodeus. The writers most likely looked to biblical texts for inspiration of Raphael, but the irony is they took the one famous character in Christian biblical text, Raphael, who is not a devil, but an archangel and then flipped that character on its head. One of archangel Raphael's most famous stories is literally called, 'the Battle Against Asmodeus', where Raphael fights against Asmodeus, a fallen cherub and dubbed, "personal adversary" of Raphael. What's even cooler? The battle was not one of might, but of intelligence, wisdom and influence. Exactly like how D&D's own Raphael and Asmodeus operate. Raphael certainly takes more after Asmodeus than he does his own father.

Speaking of which, what about his father? Raphael mentions that he was there amongst the midst of other archdevils coming to Raphael to make concessions. Raphael is smart enough to know, though, that his father is not there solely out of "you did it, my boy" or anything like that, or perceiving him as a true threat still. Besides knowing how Raphael is seen by Mephistopheles, back at the diabolisk shop, there is an orb charmed to keep an eye on Raphael at all times. If you had defeated him in House of Hope, you will witness Mephistopheles holding the broken body of Raphael over his mouth and eating him. It's a nod to 'Saturn/Kronos eating his son(s)'. Basically, if you chose this ending for Raphael, you close the circle and end this story of Jacobean tragedy of an underdog prince who has been seeking validation and freedom from the sheer inescapable nature of the Hells and it's systems. In a way Raphael also has the same themes of your other companions who are also trying to navigate their fates. Whether to repeat that cycle in perpetuity or break free of it, it all hinges upon your choices throughout this journey of Baldur's Gate 3. Basically, Mephistopheles is just waiting patiently to witness his own son's downfall should he become overzealous and overtly ambitious, before swooping in to consume his son and all that additional power for himself, power that he doesn't even need, mind you. He's just there for the vibes, and to add even more pressure on his son. Parents, amirite?

If you're on team Raphael (like me) and gave him the ending he wants, the only thing I can really say is "Good luck, little prince. I'm actually rooting for you. You're going to need it."

Will our little princeling be able to break out of his own cycle and come out on top? Will Raphael be able to even get to the ninth circle let alone confront Asmodeus? Will Raphael finally get one over his dear ol' dad? Will Raphael ever get to finally make due on his promise ("I'm a man of my word"), and have that wine with Tav?

Hard to say, for his journey is just beginning.

[talaok]

Bad influence

Request: Can you make a Joe Quinn one where him and the reader have been together since 5 months of shooting season 4 and the reader had been in since the 1st but they met on set of 4 and when the premiere is there they act all goofy together and stuff and the cast gets asked if he are normaly like that which we are and we also get those questions? :) it doesnt make sense but it popped i my head.And when there are interviews for this sesson which they also do together they also act like that like never serious and stuff

Warnings:none

*I don’t know if this was exactly what you wanted,but I really tried and I hope you like it!*

"come on Joe, they're waiting!" "I know! It's these bloody shoes" he shouted from the other room. You were in front of the door, ready to go while he was still getting prepared. The driver had arrived ten minutes before and was waiting in front of the hotel. You rolled your eyes and exhaled dramatically. "I swear to god Joseph, if you make me late for the world premiere, I will kill you" you said marching towards him. "got it got it got it" he said hopping in order to get the shoe on. The technique somehow worked and he straightened up and looked at you with an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry babe" You scowled at him "Let's go" you said exasperated reaching your hand out for him to take. He took a step towards you and took it, looking at you with his big brown eyes. "has anyone ever told you that you look really hot when you're angry?" he asked, putting his free arm around your back, and pulling you closer to him. You raised your eyebrows and looked at him amusingly "Yes, you. All the time" His lips twitched into a smug grin as he leaned down to kiss you briefly. "Well, it's true" he whispered against your lips. "Shall we go?"

This was the 4th premiere you were attending and it was so crazy to think about. You could still remember how scared you felt the first time. it was 2016 and this was your first big role, and even though the event was relatively small, since it was just the first season and no one knew about it yet, you remember how you froze in front of the photographers and managed to look like a scarecrow in all of the photos, not to mention how you panicked completely when you had to be interviewed and asked the reporter to repeat the initial question at least twice before finally answering. But you had gotten better throughout the years, now you knew how to pose, how to answer questions without giving too much away, and how to always look like you knew what you were doing, even when you didn't. So this time, it made sense to think that you would be completely at ease, but you weren't, you weren't because this time Joseph was gonna be there, and as much as you loved him, let's just say that he wasn't exactly the most well-behaved and serious celebrity. And that wouldn't have been that much of a problem, if it wasn't for the fact that he was also a bad influence on you. For the past two weeks, you had done many interviews to promote the new season, and, at first, you used to always get paired up with him since most of your scenes were together, but after about a week of being yelled at by both of your agents and at one point even by the production because you were never serious and never actually answered any of the questions, you got separated for good. But now you were gonna be together the whole night and only God knows what Joe could come up with.

The driver stopped right in front of the entrance and you could already hear all of the fan's screams.  You had managed to arrive late and everyone was already in. Great, just great you thought as you closed your eyes and took a deep breath to mentally prepare yourself. You remained shocked as you opened them back up. You were alone in the car, Joe was nowhere to be seen. "What the fu-" you muttered to yourself,  just as the car door opened and the sunlight momentarily blinded you. As your vision cleared you noticed who had opened the door and immediately shook your head disapprovingly but smiling, diverted. "Ms. Y/LN, they're waiting for you" Joe said with a formal tone, as he reached out his hand to help you out of the car. "Why thank you Mr. Quinn" you said, imitating his tone, and getting out of the car. Right in front of you was the red carpet and on both sides of it were bunches of screaming fans, yelling both of your names. You smiled nervously at him and he looked around "This looks fun" he said raising his eyebrows, clearly impressed by the amount of people he was looking at. "I know right?" you joked before starting down the carpet.

The autographs and photos part was always your favorite, you loved seeing how happy the fans were when you talked to them or hugged them. It was probably the best part of your job. Unfortunately, since you were late you couldn't spend that much time there and had to quickly get to the photograph's part.

The whole cast had to take individual photos, then some with everyone and ultimately everyone could take pictures with whoever they wanted. The first part was fairly easy. This year there was a panel with the series name as a background, so you positioned yourself in front of it and started posing until they told you you were good to go. You walked away to where the rest of the cast was standing. "Oh hey Y/N" Maya greeted you enthusiastically. "Hi!" you hugged her quickly. You said hi to everyone else and went back to Maya's side. Joe was getting his pictures taken and just as you looked at him you snorted and covered your mouth to stop yourself from laughing out loud. he was standing there . Not smiling, not posing, literally just standing there. he looked like he had no idea where he was and had just stumbled across the red carpet. Maya noticed your expression and gave you a puzzled look "I'm sorry it's just-" you snorted again "look at him" you nodded towards him. Maya chuckled softly "Yeah... men" You burst out laughing and Joe turned his head to look at you quizzically. You waved him off while still giggling and he got back to the photographers, who in the meantime had started yelling at him to look at them.

"We gotta take a picture together babe" you said excitedly as everyone went their way after the group photo. He licked his lips and smirked"Absolutely" he said sarcastically. You smiled widely, took his hand, and walked to the panel. He put his arm around your back and you did the same, posing in front of the photographers. "This is boring" he said after just a few seconds and you tilted your head and looked at him sternly "Whatever you have in mind I'm not doing it" you whispered. He raised his eyebrows and gave you a smug grin "I wanna pick you up". "See, that's exactly what I was talk-" you couldn't even finish the sentence as he bent down and with a hand on your back and one behind your legs swiftly picked you up, and in a matter of seconds you found yourself in his arms. You couldn't help but laugh as he grinned at you. "I knew you would have liked it"

before the actual showing of the first episode, the whole cast had to be interviewed in small groups and now it was your turn. You made your way on the stage and towards the two journalists, a man and a woman, while waving at the roaring audience, followed by Joe and Maya. "Welcome guys!" they greeted you as you all did the same. "This is very exciting, isn't it? this is the biggest premiere you had, so many people are here, waiting impatiently to see the new season, how does that feel?" "It feels great! we're very excited for you to see it, we worked hard on it and we hope you like it" Maya said, and as she finished, the interviewer looked at you and joe encouraging you to speak "Uhh... Yeah" Joe took the lead " I mean, yeah" he cleared his throat "Everything she said" he answered panicked, making you giggle softly. You looked at him amused and gave him a thumbs-up, making fun of him. He bit his lip to hold back a smile. "Great!" the male journalist spoke up. "How was the red carpet? There were so many fans this time! How did it feel, all of that love?" he asked "Well... it felt great. I always enjoy meeting all of them and this time, as you said there were so many and it was just extraordinary" you answered. "And Joseph, this is your first big premiere, how does it feel?" As he said his name, Joe widened his eyes, and you smiled at his reaction. "It feels" he paused and looked around "It feels... terrifying" he answered half-laughing. The journalists chuckled "Well at least Y/N is here with you, that must make it easier" he assumed "You would think that, wouldn't you? except for the fact that she was literally laughing at me before when they were taking my pictures" he looked accusatorily at you and you busted out laughing, turning around to hide. "Wait, Y/N, did you really?" the woman asked, clearly amused. You turned back around and tried to hold back a laugh as you saw Joe pretending to be angry at you.   "Well yes" you began "But I can explain" "Yeah, sure you can" Joe commented, making you laugh softly again "It's just that the way he poses is really funny to me" you tried explaining. "Oh great, thanks a lot BABE, very supportive of you" you laughed again, this time with everyone else in the room. "Ok, ok, ok" the interviewer tried to get everyone focused again. "So tell us about this season. How was filming it and working all together again?" "Oh, it was great!" Maya answered "I really missed everyone and we just had so much fun on set, it was incredible" she finished "Yeah, it was really cool. It was really fun seeing everyone again and working with them, it felt like an eternity had gone by since we last did that, so it was just great." you said smiling. It was joseph's turn. "Well, I didn't know anyone so one day I just showed up on set and met them all and thought..."these people are awful, what did I get myself into?" And then I met Y/n and  I was like "Oh no, this is gonna be hell, isn't it?" and then it was." he joked. "Oh yeah, same for me. I forgot about that, I met him and I immediately wanted to quit, but unfortunately, I had already signed the contract" You said raising your shoulders in sign of resignation. The interviewers both laughed and you smiled at each other. "Do you always get interviewed together? Because I'm starting to think it's not such a good idea" the man joked "Oh, you're kidding, but it's true." Maya said" I have been sent here literally just to babysit. The original plan was to send them together but then they actually thought about it and were like..no, that's not a good idea" she continued, making you laugh embarrassed "Well you're doing a terrible job Maya, let me tell you" Joe sarcastically said, making everyone laugh again. "ok, unfortunately, we need to wrap up. so, very quickly, describe season 4 in just three words. Maya, you go fist" "Scary... music and... sad" she answered it was your turn and you panicked. why couldn't they tell you the question before so that you could prepare them already? "Uhhh, vecna, funny and... gay" Everyone laughed "gay?" the woman asked confused You snorted "Yes, well at least to me" "ok... moving on, Joe?" "well I think Y/N is totally right so I'm gonna say...very much gay" You grinned at him"we're gonna get yelled at again, aren't we?"

You left the stage and Sadie, Priah and Caleb came on. You decided to stay back a moment to see how they did. "Welcome everyone" the woman said as they all greeted her. And just as they positioned themselves between the two interviewers, Priah's mic fell from her hand, "I'm sorry I'm very nervous" she said, as she retrieved it. "Oh, don't worry. Y/N and Joe were just here before you and I promise you you can't do worse than them" the woman reassured her "Yeah, that was really something... are they always like that?" the man asked curiously Caleb laughed "Oh god, I'm sorry you had to go through that. No, but yeah, they are always like that. Trust me, filming with them is always a fun experience"

[distort-opia]

This might sound silly and i know bruce is bisexual and all but from a queer standpoint, the scene where he proposes to selina feels a lot like compulsory heterosexuality. "I love you. I HAVE to love you."

And considering the timeline, joker was HIDDEN INSIDE BRUCE'S BASEMENT my god the implications, the metaphor....

Yeah, the whole thing is... [clears throat] very interesting. These two panels, which happen relatively close in time, put it into perspective:

Batman (2016) #32 // Dark Days: The Casting

However, to be entirely honest, I don't think Bruce proposing to Selina, and that whole arc... can be boiled down to just compulsory heterosexuality. It's more complicated than that. Bruce is doing this after interacting with the Batman of Flashpoint, his own father, who begs him to try and be happy. And Bruce's idea of happiness, very much inspired by Thomas', is settling down with a woman and having a family. Gaining peace.

Tom King is the one who wrote the wedding arc, and the whole thing is permeated by this... typically masculine, American idealization of women as this isle of peace that a tortured man yearns for, but can never fully choose. I'm sure there's names for this trope or stereotype, but I'm too lazy to look this up. Think Michael Mann movies, think James Bond movies, think stories about criminals and agents and soldiers leading a dark violent life aspiring to put down arms, and the whole dream being entangled with a woman. A female character who usually isn't fleshed out beyond the representation of leaving a life of violence behind, having a nice wife and nice children in a nice house with a nice white picket fence. Tbh it's not surprising to me that King ended up writing Bruce and Selina with these undertones, because of King's infamous background with the CIA before he became a comic book writer.

And thing is, I don't think it's inaccurate to portray Bruce this way. Bruce has lead a long life of violence, and he wants to want to stop. He wishes it didn't define him as much as it does, he wishes there was another path for him-- and this wish drives his attempt to settle down with Selina. "I have to love you" is less about "you're a woman and I should marry a woman", it's more about "if I love you I am more of a human being, and I need that." Yes, it's compulsory heterosexuality too, in the sense that Bruce is drawing from the heteronormative idea that happiness can only be achieved through normality, and normality = wife and retirement. But it's also a sad, desperate attempt at salvaging himself through Selina, whom he does love... but the things he loves about her are less about her, and more about himself. In the end, his own subconscious acknowledges all of it, during the Knightmares arc:

Batman (2016) #69

[sigh] It's all quite sad. And I've said it in a different post, but this is partly why -- in a seemingly paradoxical way -- a relationship with Joker has the potential to work. "You can't love anyone but the Vow, but the Bat," Selina (a figment of his own mind) tells Bruce. And Joker is part of the Vow. In many ways, over the decades, Joker has become the endgame of the Vow, the incarnation of all the things the Bat is supposed to defeat. It's fucked up and makes me want to chew on glass, but the Bat could allow loving Joker, because loving Joker would be a part of the Mission.

Anyway, I went on a bit of an unncessary tangent, but yeah! I do agree, Anon. So many implications.

[cuubism]

actor hob, and pretentious asshole film director dream

[ this got so long and so weird and specific i'm so sorry ]

so hob is an everyman actor. a good actor, charismatic, funny, fan favorite, but not the type that gets cast in highbrow art films. mostly he does like romcoms, mid-budget action movies, feel-good family films, etc etc. and he's totally cool with that, he's good at what he does, and people enjoy those films, anyway. he might be getting a bit bored though, a bit stagnant. might be thinking it's time for some reinvention. and there might be a certain director whose ridiculous and nonsensical but dreamy films he's particularly enamored with...

dream makes REALLY pretentious art films. the types that get studied in graduate level film classes and have fifty different academic papers with fifty different theses trying to puzzle them out. dream is a master of themes and images and subtle construction. he is also a COMPLETE asshole and impossible to work with, an auteur in the most stereotypical way possible, he writes and directs, he micromanages all his projects, he asserts his vision and god help anyone who goes against it. nobody can handle him, nobody can STAND him, and the only reason he still gets funding for these projects is because they win awards, so many awards, and the studios want to ride on the coattails of those awards. but it's getting to the point where even his most ride-or-die producers are ready to give up.

right off the back of dream's most recent bafta, a rather naive Big Exec approaches him to direct the next installment of his Big Superhero Franchise. dream is immediately like fuck off with that bullshit but the exec pleads with him that the franchise is flagging and they really need something new to spice it up. plus the pay will be enough for dream to finance like 10 of his own ridiculous art films without having to rely on producers for money. and dream really is about to get cut off for being a complete insufferable asshole so he takes the gig. it kind of feels like prison though.

anyway, he gets to work trying to make this shitty boring film at least marginally less shitty and boring. he doesn't have a lot of leeway -- a lot of the story is locked in, half the cast is set from prior installments etc. dream immediately regrets taking this job, he'd rather die in actual prison than work on this mindnumbing piece of trash. it feels like it's taking an eternity and who could possibly stand an eternity of this???

well. enter hob, whose agent managed to snag him a 2nd-lead sort of role in this thing. it's not QUITE the reinvention he was going for but the pay and exposure are really good -- and even if they weren't, the moment hob saw that dream was attached he was immediately on board.

cue dream tearing his fucking hair out and basically being a complete menace and diva on set -- no that wasn't good, yes we have to do a 57th take, oh my god this dialogue is horrible give me that shitty script i'm writing my own thing, what do you mean the plot is linear???, wait there are how many cgi aliens????? i'm going to kill myself -- and Hob, pretty much Just Happy To Be There as always, takes one look at this beautiful dramatic emo asshole and is like oh. yes. i don't know what i'm saying yes to, but i'm saying yes. just immediately enamored with this bitch against all logic, he's like i've seen all your films i know how your mind works you brilliant nihilistic mess of a person. i'm on board. let's go.

first scene that hob's in dream is once again ranting about the atrocious script, which he did not write and is hardly allowed to change -- or, every change he makes is too weird and the studio keeps nixing it. everyone keeps sighing and being like oh my god can we please just shoot i wanna go home, meanwhile hob's like alright then. let's workshop it. and dream's just like. what. you aren't just gonna tell me to shut up? and hob's like no, youre right, this script is trash, but i know you're just going to write something really weird and psychedelic that they won't let you shoot. and dream's like you dare to speak to me that way??? and hob just puts his hands on his hips and is like listen, i actually know more about this sort of general audience family film thing than you do, mister arthouse, so are you going to work with me or not? and dream's just like what... is happening... because usually people who try to 'handle' him either just cave to his every demand like wimps, or just fight him on everything to 'prove' that they're in control, and hob is just kind of... not doing either of those? anyway dream doesn't know what to do with him.

so they workshop it. turns out hob actually DOES know how these sort of general audience all-follow-the-same-three-act-structure films work and how to improve things within those confines, and also he understands what like, normal people like, you know, casual feel good movies, not everything has to be a mindbender, jesus. so they bounce ideas off each other for like 3 hours until they finally get something that's okay enough that dream no longer wants to fling himself into the sun. meanwhile everyone on set is staring at them like 👀. then dream is like come back to my trailer we are rewriting the other 116 pages of this script right NOW. what else is hob supposed to do but follow.

then hob becomes the designated Dream Handler on set. dream starts using him as his barometer for what 'normal people' would like because he does not understand that at all. ("hob, will 'people' accept this?" "well considering youre spinning the camera around on a string i'm gonna go out on a limb and say no"). dream becomes kind of obsessed with him because his life is so like, normal, and he's okay with it?? he doesn't find existence to be an insufferable prison from which there is no escape?? and hob is like aw i know you're such a tortured artistic soul *pats him on the head*. plus, hob is actually a good actor, and he's able to put a lot of heart into even this mediocre big budget film, and kind of forces dream to confront the idea that there's more than one good type of story. that different stories serve different purposes and a straightforward happy story is okay, actually.

(and that the problem is the corporatization of the storytelling, not the story itself)

anyway the movie ends up being pretty good, dream still kind of hates it because he wasn't given full artistic license but he has to grudgingly admit that it has at least some merit. after the premiere hob is like (cheekily) so you gonna direct the sequel? and dream is like i did not write that to have a sequel. and hob's like it has a cliffhanger? and dream's like so???? and hob's like well theyre definitely gonna make a sequel. and dream's like i hate this planet. also no i'm not going to make the sequel. i'm going to fuck off to the woods and make a movie about teeth. do you want to star in it? and hob's like you're so fucking weird i'm obsessed with you i'm going to kiss you now.

so yeah, that.

[sam-loves-seb]

the fruity four but make it hollywood au (1/x)

actor!steve who’s newly famous for his leading role in last year’s hit romantic comedy, everybody and their mother is in love with the guy, his face is on every fucking billboard across the country, he’s charming and funny and god is he attractive and eddie is so fucking over it.

eddie munson--lead singer and guitarist for successful metal band corroded coffin--doesn’t even know steve harrington but he’s annoyed by him nonetheless. by what, he’s not really sure. his success? his popularity? how his face is literally everywhere eddie turns? who knows! eddie writes him off as another one hit wonder actor who will flop in his next feature or burn out in the next five years from doing too much too fast and not being able to handle the workload or the stardom

but then he meets steve at some 30 under 30 in hollywood party, and he's not at all how eddie expected. they become sort of friends that night, and in the following weeks eddie starts to learn more about hollywood's newest heartthrob

like how steve never really wanted to be an A-list actor, how he never saw himself in the romcom game at first. he learns how steve got his start as a stunt double on a couple of decent coming of age/teenage hijinks action adventure films, how he spent most of his twenties absolutely broke, living paycheck to paycheck and constantly worried between jobs

how steve met his best friend robin (a makeup artist) on the set of his first real gig, and how he pulls her in to any and all of his projects now that he’s a big name (not that she isn’t talented in her own right, she’s damn good at what she does, but they've always looked out for each other like this in the near decade they've known each other). she's been his "date" on more than one red carpet this year, and every couple of months steve has to publicly squash the dating rumors that start to circle them

how steve met his ex-girlfriend nancy wheeler (yes, that nancy wheeler, picture perfect girl-next-door older sister on one of the most famous sitcoms of the last decade) when she starred in a movie where steve was her co-lead’s stunt double, how they dated for about a year and then broke up but stayed friends, even when she went through her rebellious phase and broke out of her cookie cutter miss-teen-perfect shell and had a bit of a "wild child" phase before settling into the indie film scene for a while and fading into the background for a couple of years

how steve never wanted to be an actor--like, not even a little bit--but on this one gig he flirted a little too much with this one casting director that he really liked, and then the next thing he knows he’s being cast as a supporting part in a six part mini series that sort of blew up one summer before everyone immediately forgot about it when fall programming began airing

fast forward a year or so and he’s still doing stunt work--with name recognition comes a steadier stream of gigs, so he's happy with what he's doing, he likes stunt work--when something goes wrong and he gets a pretty bad concussion (just another in a long line of them) and his agent tells him it might be time to hang it up for good for the sake of his health

but he doesn’t know what else to do, he has a little money saved from the mini series but it’s not enough and he needs a new plan, and robin--sweet, sweet robin--tells him about this movie she’s about to start working on where the male lead had to back out last minute and the directors are scrambling and she may have slipped steve’s headshot to the casting director when she caught him having a breakdown in the back room of the studio...

...and that's how steve gets his big break, starring in a well written romcom with an unknown cast that does big numbers at the box office, launching all of them into stardom overnight

and eddie is fascinated by all of this because, well, he thought steve was for sure a nepotism baby or some shit because he’s pretty sure steve grew up with money (he did, but he left it behind to move to LA and pursuit his dreams) and eddie just assumed his dad was a big name producer or something and that’s how steve got into all of this

so the two of them start hanging out and they become fast friends, always photographed getting coffee together trying to avoid the paparazzi or showing up to hollywood's hottest parties together (in an attempt to get both of their agents off their backs and actually show their faces in public) and buzzfeed starts to write these articles about how they're the most unlikely of friends

it takes them six months to start dating.

it takes another year before the press catches wind of it, and by that time they're already living together in a three bedroom luxury apartment in LA with robin and nancy sharing a place right down the hall. steve bought a ring. it sits in robin's sock drawer so eddie won't find it before steve's ready to pop the question

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | ko-fi

[blainesebastian]

drunk dial

words: 2,709 ship: austin butler x reader summary: (anon request) drunk! austin and sober! girlfriend having to pick him up and maybe some of his cast mates or something bc they’re at a bar? and austin just loving on her and doting on her  notes: masterlist on my sidebar! could be a part of ‘mutually assured satisfaction’ universe if you squint  warnings: NSFW :)  tag list: @killerqueenfan, @karamelcoveredolicity, @elizabethrosecresswell, @gigisworldsstuff, @stylesmendeshearted

Something that you learn early on in your relationship with Austin is that he likes to have a good time and knows exactly how to do it. Celebrity status gives way to excess and parties are easily thrown, almost constantly, with no deeper reason other than to just enjoy it. Austin himself is just full of life, he’s one of those people that’s infectious to be around, a contagious smile, a bright laugh, eyes as clear and blue as the ocean when you look into them. He makes you feel like you could utterly be the center of any universe when he speaks to you, drawing you in and asking you questions and always making you feel welcome, no matter who you are.

It's no wonder that he’s constantly invited to things, that people want him to attend—and then you mix a few drinks in there? A perfect storm.

You enjoy that version of your boyfriend, secretly one of your favorites even though you’d never tell him.

When he’s drunk he’s incredibly rose-colored, as if he’s got those type of glasses on his eyes when he interacts with people. He draws them close into conversation, he becomes a bit more touchy, and when you’re with him his hands are constantly on your body—looking for any excuse to pull you close and into a kiss. His body warm, the way a twinge of sweat mixes with his skin and cologne, how easily those same hands sometimes wander between your legs, God; makes your toes curl just thinking about it.

Unfortunately tonight you’re missing out on that, needing some time on your own this weekend to decompress from a busy week on set. You’re always grateful for the opportunities, don’t get it wrong, but sometimes you definitely need the space to breathe and reset. Austin invited you out tonight with some castmates of his own to a bar, a wrap party of sorts, and teasingly kissed you goodbye at the front door with a comment against your lips of all work and no play.

It's about eleven or so when you crawl into bed, dragging a book with you that you’ve stopped and started about a dozen times. Propping up the pillows, you lean back to read a few pages before sleeping. You’ll honestly feel accomplished if you manage to dedicate at least ten pages per night…doubtful, but here’s hoping.

Your phone begins to vibrate when you’re about two pages in and you sigh as you reach for it on the comforter because that’s typical. If it’s your agent you’ll call her back tomorrow, but Austin’s name flashes on the screen. A small smile tugs at the corners of your mouth before you swipe to answer.

“Long time no talk,” You tease, putting the phone on speaker. You set your book down over your legs, keeping your spot for the page you’re on.

You wait a few moments for Austin to respond, the sound of traffic and a chaotic background of bar music and chatter filter in every so often. You raise your eyebrows, about to speak again when you finally hear Austin make a noise, which distinctly sounds like a huff,

“I’ve been lookin’ for you.”

A soft laugh flutters out of your throat because for a moment you don’t think he’s serious but then you wait for the other shoe to drop and it never comes. Amusement wraps around your chest like a warm blanket, shaking your head as you lean up in bed a little to hover over your phone.

“I’m not there babe, remember? I didn’t come out with you tonight.”

There’s a small space of time in which you can definitely tell Austin is scrunching his nose, “Well that explains a lot then.”

You laugh again, can’t help it, running a hand over your face. Out of the things you expected to happen tonight, this wasn’t one of them—getting a drunk phone call from your boyfriend when it’s barely eleven o’clock. He must be having a good time so far.

You listen for a moment, wondering what’s going on. He sounds okay though? Definitely outside, so maybe he’s just getting some fresh air. You chew on your lower lip, playing with the fabric of the comforter between your fingers.

“What’d you do tonight?” Austin asks and while you’re pretty sure he won’t be able to keep track of your response, you appreciate he’s trying.

“Uhm,” You hum, “I made dinner, had a long bath—”

“Shame I missed that,” He interrupts, a slight drawl to his tone leftover from Elvis, something that nearly always creeps into his voice when he’s upset, tired or drunk.

“Can always raincheck for another time,” You smile, continuing, “Had a cup of tea and decided to try and read a bit. Didn’t get very far.” You tilt your head a little, pausing, “You havin’ fun?”

“Would be havin’ a better time with you,” He says almost instantly, like he was ready to throw that reply in regardless of the question. You smile a little, curling your hair around your ear.

“Well, I can’t disagree about that.”  

You feel the tiniest bit guilty that you didn’t allow Austin to tug you out of the apartment tonight, that you’re not out with him having a few beers and sitting too close, maybe even dancing to cheesy nineties music or playing a game of pool (and totally winning). But you also know that in order to be the very best girlfriend, or just your very best self in general, that you need to take the time to recharge your battery.

“When are you coming back home?” You ask, not intending on cutting his night short or anything but you admittedly want him in bed with you. He’s slightly needy like this and you’re not about to deny that you find that a bit attractive. PDA isn’t a foreign concept to him when he’s sober so you kinda enjoy the moments where he’s cranking that up to eleven, needing and wanting you so much closer.

You can definitely relate.

“When do you want me?”

Smiling a little, you shake your head at the opening—far too easy, “I always want you.” And it feels like such a line that he’s tossed in your direction once or twice.

Austin laughs, the sound warm and affectionate against your eardrum, “That’s cute—real smooth. You tryin’ to flirt with me?”

“Oh I’m definitely trying,” You nod, no use in denying that. “Is it working?”

“Maybe,” He then seems to remember the original question you posed, “M’comin’ home now.”

You tug back the covers after a moment, a few thoughts swirling around in your head, wondering if he’s done things like paid his bill or told his castmates he was leaving. You’re a bit selfish in this though because you don’t mention any of that, instead,

“Right now?”

“Mhm,” Austin confirms, “Gonna grab one of those uber things.”

You chuckle lightly, pulling yourself from bed to quickly put on a pair of joggers. You then grab the sherpa lined jean jacket that he often wears and drape it over your shoulders, the sleeves a bit too long for your arms but you kinda like that.

“Why don’t you let me come get you so you don’t have to worry about the ‘uber things’.”

Austin pauses, like he’s trying to get two thoughts to connect in his head before he says, “That would be amazin’. Girlfriend award.”

You grin, shaking your head as you grab your wallet and keys before slipping out of your apartment, “Just constantly winning those. I’ll be there soon, don’t wander.” Pulling the phone away from your ear, you check his location just in case and make your way to the door.

--

Surprisingly, there’s not a lot of traffic downtown, which makes parking easy near the bar Austin’s at. Letting out a soft sigh, you turn the engine off and crane your neck to look outside and around the place your boyfriend is supposed to be. You get out of the car, pulling your coat a little closer around yourself as you cross the street, smiling as you eventually notice him half a block further down, leaning against the brick wall of another establishment, smoking.

Despite being a bit drunk, he’s still holding up his own pretty well, a lazy smile on his lips as he notices you walking towards him.

“Hey you,” It’s kind of ridiculous to think about this small amount of power he has over you, just standing there, looking as handsome as he does. Slightly rugged in his dark jeans and stance along the building. He tosses the cigarette to the ground and stubs it out, blowing smoke away from you as he turns to give you a once over.

Cheeks definitely turn pink but luckily you can blame that on being a bit cold.

“Have you uh,” You trail off a moment, motioning to the bar behind you, “Have you seen my boyfriend? He’s about your height, slightly built, dirty blonde curls, little bit of a mess,” You grin, “Very happy to see me?”

“Oh you’re taken?” Austin asks, a soft chuckle vibrating in his throat as he wraps his arms around your shoulders. His body is warm and slightly heavy, his balance not as it should be. You’re stable though, he’s not stumbling over, “He’s got to be pretty lucky.”

You chuckle as he brings his hands over to cup your cheeks, running his thumb along the bone. “I’d like to think so.”

Standing here with him in so intoxicating, the fluttering sensation in your stomach as he touches you, the warmth of his skin and the presence of his body, slightly taller than you as his eyes look down and drink you in. As he pulls you as close as he can, mapping his body along yours, the street seems to fade from view. Humming, you wrap your arms loosely around his trim waist, one arm slipping underneath the fabric of his shirt. He squirms just slightly as the cool night air kisses the skin of his back.

“Home?” You ask, tilting your head up.

Austin leans down to brush his lips over yours, playfully nipping at your lower lip with his own. “Home.”

Smiling, you wrap an arm around his waist, turning to walk towards the car. You definitely notice him leaning into you a little more than usual, his arm resting on your shoulders for balance. You don’t mind though, easily handling his weight on the way to the car, despite that his walking is a bit wobbly.

Pausing to unlock the passenger door, you stick the keys into your pocket before a soft laugh leaves your lips, “Too tall for your own good.” You tease, making sure to rest your hand along the crown of his head so that he leans down enough to get into the passenger seat without hurting himself.

“Did I mention…” He trails off, watching you with lazy blue eyes. Austin chews on his lower lip, resting his head back against the headrest as you lean over him to put his seatbelt on, “That you’re definitely gettin’ the girlfriend award?”

Smiling, you shake your head, pausing to run your eyes along his form. “Think you mentioned somethin’ like that, yeah.” You push yourself inside briefly to peck his lips, “And I already know it’s well deserved.”

Austin chuckles, stealing one more kiss before you close the door and take him home.

--

You’ve been drunk plenty of times around Austin and he’s always known the best ways to take care of you and that’s kinda what you’re thinking about now. Getting him into bed, making sure he has comfortable clothes on and that he’s drinking enough water—aspirin and a greasy breakfast when he wakes up.

Except, your boyfriend has other plans that involve getting a shower and…you really don’t have the energy or stamina to tell him how beyond ridiculous it is that he does this now. It doesn’t help that he’s decently taller than you and undressing faster than you can put clothes on him. Though, seems like a weird thing to complain about.

“You comin’ in with me?” Austin asks as he turns the shower on, waiting for the water to warm up.

He’s kinda straddling the tub, leaning against the wall, completely naked and far too gorgeous looking for his own good. You let out a soft sigh, stepping a bit closer, moving to run a hand through the tuft of hair along his forehead. You semi count the freckles on his skin, leaning down to press a kiss against one on his shoulder.

“I already showered,” You tell him, “And I think you assume if I get in this shower with you that you’re gettin’ something out of it. Which you are sorely mistaken,” A soft laugh flutters in your chest when he pouts, “You can barely stand straight.”

“I know exactly what I’m doin’,” His hand falls to your waist, squeezing, “And I want you in this shower with me.”

Admittedly, the desire in his voice slips right between your legs, instant heat. As he smiles down at you and playfully nips your lower lip with his own, you realize how much of a losing battle this is. Before you can move, Austin playfully tugs you forward and you almost end up in the shower and under the stream of water with all your clothes on.

“Austin,” You snap but you’re laughing, pushing him away so that you can undress.

With a dramatic sigh, you get into the shower with him, pulling the glass door closed. His lips are on yours in an instant, drawing you close and under the stream of water. Things are a bit haphazard but this is not the first time you’ve done this in this setting and when your hand slips down to touch your boyfriend, he’s already hard.

A moan leaves your lips and empties into his mouth, heat curling up inside of you and making your legs shake. Quick and a little desperate, needy, you kinda like it when it’s like this sometimes. When you’re not taking it slow or feeling every single movement of the other’s bodies. This in comparison is grabby, passionate, like you can’t quite get enough of one another fast enough.

Austin hooks your leg up, presses you against the shower wall, hands exploring and fingers opening you up, open-mouthed kisses on your throat, your pulse point, your heart thrumming in your eardrums. He slides in quick but always allows you a few moments to adjust, your forehead dipping to his shoulder, a deep breath in before you roll your hips up and into him.

It’s not the easiest in the shower, this place is definitely overrated when it comes to seeing it in films. But luckily there’s no slipping this time and Austin has a firm grasp on you, each thrust of his hips somehow utterly perfect. It doesn’t take long for either of you to reach a climax and suddenly you’re panting, the entire room rose-colored in the wake of your orgasm.

Austin eventually slides free from you and you hate how empty that always feels, chewing on your lower lip as he tips your head back with both of his hands on the sides of your face. He gives you a lazy smile, leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead, the bridge of your nose and the corner of your mouth—you can feel him mouthing the words I love you a few times.

A small smile stretches across your face and you close your eyes for a moment as he strokes your hair back, now wet underneath the stream of water. He reaches for a loofah, squeezing some shower gel onto it before beginning to drag it along your shoulders, arms, slow and lazy motions.

There’s a soft sound of amusement in your throat as you tip your head up and kiss him, drawing out these moments where you can get them. Ironically, despite not going out with him tonight, it still ended the same way.

And you’re definitely not going to complain about that.

--

Thank you so much for reading! Hope you enjoyed :)

[misrepresentedmorallygrey]

PROPAGANDA

Goro Akechi

have you seen this man. the fandom doesn't seem to grasp that he can have a "good" goal but still go about it absolutely the wrong way. he's not baby but he's not evil incarnate either, he's just 18. being 18 is just like that

People who are like "he's an irredeemable psychopath who became a serial killer just because he has daddy issues" piss me off. People who are like "he's the only person who ACTUALLY cares about the Protagonist and all of the Protagonist's other friends are fakes and users" piss me off even more. He's a foil for the entire main cast. He has faced all of their traumas with none of the support. He believes that he's responsible for his mother's suicide, and that he's unlovable. He was abandoned by everyone. He made some bad decisions when he was like 14, and his abusive father manipulated him into being a hitman. He lies all the damn time, so you can't really tell when he's being genuine or not. He's a double agent who befriends you and then tries to kill you, believes that he's succeeded, and shows absolutely no remorse. He dies to save your life (and then gets sorta resurrected and then dies again to literally save the world). It's complicated! He's complicated!

Gwen Cooper

God forbid women do anything. Gwen Cooper is a classic victim of fandom misogyny, a complicated kinda fucked up female character who is ultimately a hero, and people act like she’s the antichrist because she’s about as fucked up as every other man in the cast. Gwen’s main crimes are cheating on her then-boyfriend (with another male lead character who weirdly does NOT get any hate for participating in this affair) and having a very emotionally intimate and sexually tense (but never actually sexual) relationship with Jack Harkness, who also has a boyfriend in Torchwood (this is the classic “she’s getting in the way of our ship!!!! Situation, despite the fact that Gwen and Jack literally never do anything together and Gwen is never anything but supportive of Jack’s relationship); perhaps Gwen’s most morally grey action is confessing adultery to her boyfriend and then erasing his memory when he reacts poorly, but I must stress that this is about on the par of the shitty things other men in the show have done (hide dangerous aliens in the secret base, sacrifice children to dangerous aliens, use alien cologne that makes people want to fuck you in a way that is at best DUBIOUSLY consensual, etc). Meanwhile, Gwen also gets hate for things that are NOT morally grey, namely, being an outspoken woman with a strong moral center. She is the HEART of her secret organization, she is the MORAL CORE, and because that means she has the AUDACITY to criticize her male coworkers, she’s a bitch. There are over 100 works on ao3 tagged “gwen cooper bashing,” and even more untagged that bash, demean, belittle, or simply ignore the existence of THE MAIN CHARACTER OF THE SHOW!! Gwen bestie you’re so fucked up and I love you and I need more people to appreciate that.

Gwen is a paranormal investigator who accidentally joined the worst polycule on Earth. The Torchwood fanbase (especially the one at the time) really hates/hated her, despite the fact that her coworkers were equally as bad if not much worse than her. Maybe she did a bit of cheating and maybe she’s kind of mean but have you considered: she’s the most beautiful girl in the world, she’s a bad bitch, and I love her? God forbid women do anything

[doctorofmagic]

Why magic in the MCU has failed

I remember the "good" old days when Doctor Strange was about to debut back in 2016. I was obsessed with spotting every single little magic detail in the MCU in the hope that magic would slowly grow in status and importance, only to give up after so much disappointment.

But the major issue? The moment Feige stated that every side project was a part of the MCU. People who experienced phase 1 and 2 will remember that magic was a taboo. "It's just science we don't understand yet". While it's a common line quoted by Marvel's greatest geniuses, we all know it's pure arrogance on their part. Otherwise, they'd be doing what magic users do.

It was not MCU's case. Magic was INDEED treated as science. From Ghost Rider's portal being reproduced by a robot through the Darkhold to Wanda's powers being a product of an experiment but not explained at all. From a loooong season of Cloak and Dagger taking its time to finally introduce magic elements to Nico's staff almost falling to the same old "technology" trope. From whatever is happening in Asgard to Loki's limited magic. It's frustrating, but we'd still find a way to turn the tables, right? The Dark Dimension was introduced (twice?), the (third) Darkhold was finally attached to Chthon, Morgana and Lorelei debuted, Nico's powers were finally acknowledge as magic... So what happened?

My best guess? Structure.

There's no structure to define what is magic in the MCU. Doctor Strange (2016) tried. Really hard. And, although it got several things right, it failed in two fundamental aspects: pre-established comic book knowledge and magic deities.

Remember how we got three Darkholds? The first was just so detached from magic that it became a book used to create a VIRTUAL world in Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. The second was used by Morgan le Fey, but how was she associated with the Dark Dimension? Moreover, that was NOT the Dark Dimension from the first DS movie (or any comic book, really). Its last appearance, as seen in WandaVision and DSITMOM, finally mentioned Chthon, but it literally did NOTHING it was supposed to do. That MCU!Wanda has nothing to do with her 616 version, this is not new. But if we're going to use comic books as foundation to adapt a story, the very bare minimum you can do is do it right. Point is, the book does corrupt people, but it's because of Chthon's influence and his connection to Wanda. Where's Chthon in the movie? The corruption was badly explored and her journey towards evil and redemption doesn't make any sense from a magic point.

Now, the "main" magic cast in the MCU could have worked... Except that there's little to no information regarding how Kamar-Taj works as a temple/school for new sorcerers. And worse even, magic isn't connected to its deities. Sure, there were a few name drops, but does it explain where it comes from? And who chooses the next sorcerer supreme if the Vishanti isn't involved?

The truth is, magic was all over the place, and the creative minds were either too oblivious to the importance of learning about how magic works in comics (to the point of adapting a second Dark Dimension that has nothing to do with the original one) or too shy to introduce a magic hierarchy (as in, deities).

There's an actual attempt to create this structure now, but it's too late. Sure, you can ignore past tv shows, but the mess remains. Eternity was supposed to be an abstract entity, deeply connected to magic, cosmic aspects and life itself.

Loki is still so embarrassing because the very foundation of Asgardian mythos started wrong (and why is that? Because no magic, of course!). While I find funny that Stephen trapped Loki in an endless freefall, there's no way the god of stories would be humiliated like that. Loki being taught magic by his alts is infuriating (and it's, again, mostly illusions).

Remember when Stephen was beaten by math? That also happened.

This is the moment I completely give up to see magic portrayed at its fullest, in all its beauty and complexity. Because it's not treated the way it deserves. It has never been.

And here's my boldest take: if you really wish to see the full potential of magic in the MCU, go for What If. The price you pay, the cosmic proportion of being misused, the creative elements... It's all there. Which is sad because it's not the main timeline. Anyways, this is it.

PS: This post may age poorly as DS3 comes out in 20 years. Let's wait and see.

[natlacentral]

'I've got to pinch myself': Paul Sun-Hyung Lee on playing Iroh in 'Avatar: The Last Airbender'

Presumably the people outside a local car dealership a couple of years ago who heard Paul Sun-Hyung Lee let out a “huge whoop” during a phone call with his agent didn't fully grasp the significance of that celebratory sound.

The Toronto actor beloved as the internet’s “Appa” thanks to “Kim’s Convenience” and a popular part of the “Star Wars” universe, too, was about to become the internet’s favourite uncle.

Lee had landed the role of Uncle Iroh in “Avatar: the Last Airbender,” Netflix’s much anticipated live-action reimagining of a well loved animated series (not to be confused with James Cameron’s “Avatar” films).

“Honestly, I have moments where I think I’ve got to pinch myself because, even as a youngster, I never would have believed that I could be a part of these things, because I never saw anybody who looked like me reflected in any of these shows,” the Korean Canadian actor said, reflecting on his roles in “Airbender” and the “Star Wars” spinoffs “The Mandalorian” and “Ahsoka,” in which he plays the popular Captain Carson Teva.

As Iroh in “Airbender,” Lee has stepped into the robes of another fan favourite character.

First, a bit of a primer: “Avatar: The Last Airbender,” which debuts Thursday, is about a 12-year-old boy, the “Avatar” of the title, on a quest to save the world from the rapacious Fire Nation, which has gone to war with the Earth, Water and Air peoples. Despite his youth, Avatar Aang (played by Vancouver actor Gordon Cormier) is a powerful “bender,” honing his ability to manipulate air, water, earth and fire.

Aang and his friends — Katara, a water bender (played by Indigenous Canadian Kiawentiio), and her brother, Sokka (American actor Ian Ousley) — are being hunted by fire bender Prince Zuko (American Dallas Liu), who’s accompanied by his wise and compassionate Uncle Iroh, himself a fire bender and a former Fire Nation general.

If that all sounds kind of geeky, well, that’s right up Lee’s alley.

The 51-year-old has well-established nerd bona fides as a fan of “Star Wars” and other science fiction (he shares his love of the genre on his Bitterasiandude Inc. YouTube channel). He caught up with the original “Avatar: The Last Airbender” (which aired on Nickelodeon from 2005 to 2008, then moved to Netflix) while he was still working on the CBC comedy “Kim’s Convenience” (2016-21), in which he played a South Korean immigrant who runs a convenience store in Toronto. 

In 2018, as new fans were discovering “Kim’s” worldwide after the series moved to Netflix, the streaming giant announced its remake of “Airbender,” setting in motion Lee's ascent into another dream role. 

“Almost immediately I got fan casted (as Iroh) by all these people on the internet,” Lee said in a Zoom interview. “I was very, very flattered, but I was doing ‘Kim’s.’”

A few years later, though, “Kim’s” had ended and Lee got an audition for what was billed as a basketball movie called “Blue Dawn,” as a coach who had come out of retirement to guide his nephew.

Although he’s “more of a baseball, hockey guy,” Lee taped the audition and then forgot about it, until a callback a couple of months later. Except now, the retired basketball coach Howard was named Iroh.

“There’s only one Iroh that I know of,” said Lee. “And so I remember thinking, ‘Oh my God, this is for “Avatar”’ … right away I got super nervous. The stakes went up and I really wanted this part.”

But, after doing a chemistry read with Liu and not hearing anything for a couple of weeks, Lee assumed he had missed out on the role, which is part of the lot of an actor … until his agent called just as Lee and his wife were about to sign a lease on a new vehicle.

“So I excused myself, leaving the salesman completely befuddled. I went outside and that’s when I learned that I landed the role. And immediately let out this huge whoop. I had forgotten that I was in a public area and there were lots of people outside, and they all suddenly looked at me and I said, ‘It’s OK. It’s good news. It’s great news.’”

There was one more hurdle to overcome, though. 

“Airbender,” which shoots in Vancouver, overlapped Lee’s schedule for “The Mandalorian,” which films in Los Angeles. And playing Iroh meant shaving off the middle part of the moustache that Lee sports as Captain Teva.

“Luckily I was able to have my cake and eat it at the same time,” said Lee. “Lucasfilm was like, ‘Oh, we’ll just build him a little fake moustache to put on while he’s shooting (“The Mandalorian”).’”

Lee isn’t certain how familiar the producers of “Airbender” were with his work on “Kim’s Convenience” — it's an established fact that “Mandalorian” producer and director Dave Filoni was a “Kim’s” fan before he cast Lee — but he considers his latest job to be another of the many blessings accruing from the CBC series.

“‘Kim’s Convenience’ was such a wonderful launching pad for my career,” Lee said. “I mean, that show was kind of my coming out party in terms of the film and TV world.”

Lee, who was born in South Korea but immigrated to Canada with his parents when still an infant, struggled to find good film and TV roles as a young actor in the 1990s and early aughts. 

After graduating from drama school at the University of Toronto, he did a lot of theatre work, but onscreen “I played a lot of doctors, a lot of store clerks, a lot of window dressing-type caricatures, not characters.”

And yet, he persisted. 

Despite not seeing himself reflected in the television he devoured as a kid and from which he developed his love of storytelling, “I thought, well, heck, if there’s nobody (else Asian) out there, maybe there’s a shot for me to get in … that was kind of foolish thinking because maybe you’re the only one because a lot of people have tried and haven’t been able to get through. But I was just too stupid and too stubborn to quit, so just kept at it.”

Now Lee hopes to provide inspiration for the young Asian actors coming up behind him.

On the set of “Airbender,” which has many Asian actors in its cast, Lee became particularly close with Liu, the 22-year-old Chinese-Indonesian-American actor playing his beloved nephew. Just as Iroh is protective of Zuko, for whom he becomes a surrogate father, Lee said he wanted to nurture Liu.

“Every chance that I got to just sort of give him little pearls of wisdom based on my experiences … I couldn’t help but want to see him succeed,” Lee said. “This kid is a superstar,” he added.

Now that Lee himself is part of two much-loved pop culture franchises, “my cup runneth over,” but he still has entries on his acting bucket list.

“Not to sound greedy, but I’d love to do ‘Star Trek’ because that's filming right in our backyard. I’d love to do a ‘Ghostbusters.’ All those geeky playgrounds I never got a chance to play in. I want to be in a rom-com. I want to be in a Western, the genres that I grew up watching …

“But I’ll take it as it comes and I’m grateful for what I have. And if this is the only thing I ever do again I will be thankful for it because a lot of people don’t get these opportunities.”

[cleclercbaby]

Chasing Cars - Charles Leclerc

Charles Leclerc x Fem!FBI Agent!reader x Criminal Minds

Mentioned Cast: Criminal Minds Cast (Aaron Hotchner, Emily Prentiss, Jennifer Jareau/JJ, Spencer Reid, Derek Morgan)

Word Count: 2086

Warning: mention of guns, m*rder word, sh**ting, AND THIS IS MY FIRST TIME SO BEAR WITH ME🫶🏻

Location: Los Angeles (Made up location)

Summary: as a Supervisory Special Agent, your team have been assigned to a murder case which involved street robberies… but then Charles Leclerc comes into action. (Inspired by a CCTV footage of Charles chasing down his watch thieves.”

Abbreviation: UnSub (Unknows Subject- The criminals), B.A.U (Behavioral Analysis Unit)

----------

You put a black sunglasses as you get out of the airport. You and the rest of the Behavioral Analysis Unit Team split into two different SUVs as you, Reid, and Hotch go straight to the LAPD office while Derek, Emily, and JJ go to the crime scene. The case the B.A.U team is working on is about some murder that took place in Malibu with stealing expensive watches as the modus operandi. We believe that the UnSub is more than one person.

All the victims were found in the alleys and all of them have lost their expensive watches. The B.A.U team came to the conclusion that the victims had fought back the UnSub but instead got murdered in the middle of the fight.

Your team arrived at the LAPD office 5 minutes later. The LAPD has set up the office for your team. Hotch, Reid and you directly setting up the files and the map. Reid spent another minute doing the geographic profiling as you and Hotch talked to Sergeant Reyes about the evidence.

Hotch’s phone rings and it shows Garcia’s name on the screen. Penelope Garcia is our tech analysis. She’s doing her job back at our office in Quantico.

“Yes, Garcia. You’re on speaker.” Hotch says, his eyes still fixed on the victim’s pictures.

“I got the brand name of those expensive watches. Rolex and Richard Mille, they only stole these two brands.” She says as her typing sounds got faster. “The UnSub let go of 2 victims who wore another brand.”

“Do you have the name of those 2 victims?” You ask her.

“Of course, Honey. Their names are Jacob Rhodes and Lilian Harris. I’ve sent their addresses to your phone. Ciao!”

With that information, Hotch calls Derek to go to those addresses and talk to the victims.

—

“Fuck!” You mutter under your breath as you try to control the steering wheels. You end up in this situation because Hotch asked you and Emily to watch the UnSub when Garcia sent the address of their whereabouts to the team. Your team have two UnSubs who match the profile. Greg Finn and Tyler Brendan.

You and Emily wait for them silently and patiently inside the car, until a man gets out of his car in front of the UnSubs. The UnSubs seem to know the man because they ask for something. You frown, thinking about the worst thing about the man being their leader or something, but then they hold up their phone to take a selfie with the man. What? Is that man a celebrity?

You try to look closely, but you just can’t see the face clearly. You’re not that far from them but they’re facing the opposite direction which makes it harder to see the man’s face. They seem good for a while until everything turns into chaos when the thieves run to their car as the man shouts at them.

“Merde! My watch!” He shouts while he abruptly gets into his car, trying to get ahold of the thieves car.

You and Emily are trailing behind him and my god! He is fast. “Watch out!” Emily yells.

“Fuck!” You mutter under your breath as you try to control the steering wheels. “How is he driving so fast?”

“Girl, he’s driving a Ferrari. Of course he is fast.” Emily replies, as it is so obvious.

“Damn! We need to get one so we can be fast when catching the criminals.” You joke, trying to ease up the situation. Emily laughs, agreeing with you before she calls Derek to let him know where the UnSub is heading.

“I’m ready at the end of the road, bring them here Y/N.” Derek says through the speaker.

“Copy that.” You reply. “Their victim is chasing them too. It seems like they tried to ask for a selfie then stole the watch and ran afterwards.”

“There was no fight?” Now Hotch turns to ask through the speaker, “They just ran?”

“Yes, they just ran.” Emily answers him. “We’re close. Do you guys see them?”

“Alright. We’re gonna cut him from here.” Derek says then turn off the call.

“Wait the man’s car didn’t know Derek is gonna cut them off, he’s on high speed with a fucking Ferrari.” Realisation hits you as you think of the worst thing that will happen if he didn’t slow down.

“Damn it! You’re right.” Emily cursed, “I’m putting on the siren. Can you drive faster?”

“I’m trying. Might as well be an F1 driver after this case, though.” You groan, trying to drive faster so you can get to the man’s car. You’re not a big fan of driving this fast so you feel your hands are sweating. It makes you grip the steering wheels harder so you don’t slip.

Finally you’re trailing right behind the man. You try to overtake him but he’s driving like a freaking pro F1 driver. Fuck it! “Emily, turn off the siren and shout at him. I’ll try to get as close as possible. This man thinks he’s in F1 and doesn’t let me overtake.”

Emily does as you said. She turns off the siren then puts herself over the car window. “SIR. I’M SSA EMILY PRENTISS FROM FBI AND I ORDER YOU TO SLOW DOWN.” Emily shouts as loud as possible and you hope he hears him.

Thankfully, he heard her and slowed down his car so you finally can drive right beside him. You gesture your hand to ask him to roll down his window.

“Charles Leclerc?” You’re surprised and not surprised. Surprised because you never thought of seeing your favourite F1 driver here and not surprised because like you said, he’s driving like a pro F1 driver and my god, of course he drives a Ferrari.

You’ve always been a F1 fan but the job makes it hard to catch up with the races and the driver. Sure, he is your favourite but you don’t even know what type of Ferrari he drives daily. You rarely watch F1 races ever since you joined the B.A.U team 3 years ago. The day you get to watch it was on your phone while you were writing your report at the office.

“They stole my watch.” He says. My god his accent! You always love his accent.

“My team will cut him off. That’s why we ask you to slow down. Now I’m gonna go first and you need to trail behind me. Don’t overtake me because it would be dangerous as you’re their target.” You explain to him.

He nods, “Okay, Agent.”

“Y/N!! Is that Charles Leclerc? Your favourite F1 driver that you and Hotch talked about a lot?” Emily smiles, she can’t hide her excitement for you. She knows how much you idolised Charles.

“Yes. Oh my god, why should we meet in this situation? So chaotic.” You groan.

“Girl, are you kidding? This is the best situation. He might become your fan after this.” Emily says.

You roll your eyes, “Being my fan, my ass! I’m not that cool .”

“C’mon! You and I know that we’re really good at this job and we’re badass. How can he not become a fan after seeing you catching some criminals?”

You shrug, “I don’t wanna be delusional.”

As Emily would talk again, she got cut off by the scene in front of us.  There are Hotch and Derek pointing guns at the UnSubs while the UnSubs do the same. The LAPD officer also surrounded them with their guns pointing at them. They can’t go anywhere.

“Shit! They’re armed.” You cursed, then quickly parked the car. You and Emily get out of the car with your gun pointing at the UnSubs. One of them knows you’re there so now he’s pointing the gun at you and Emily. It’s Tyler.

“We both know this is useless. Lower your gun!” You demand, but they don't seem to be affected by you. “I said lower your gun!”

“Agent.” Charles calls you. Shit! You nearly forgot that he was there behind your car.

“Step back, Charles.” You say to him but your eyes don’t move from the UnSub. You can see Hotch look at Charles but quickly divert his attention back to the Unsub.

“We just need this watch.” Tyler says, “we don’t wanna cause any trouble.”

“You think we don’t know that you murdered those victims after you stole their watch?” Derek says to them.

Greg gulps. His face turns pale after hearing that information. Bold of them to assume that your team don’t know what they did.

“Just get down and we’ll talk more at the office.” Hotch says calmly, try to make the situation as safe as possible so nobody gets hurt and the UnSubs go to the custody alive. “We want to know more about you.”

Tyler seems to think about it. You knew from Garcia that Tyler is the submissive and Greg is the Dominant. So in this situation, Tyler is more likely to surrender. When Greg sees Tyler thinking about it, his instinct of flight or fight got the best of him as he knows they can’t flight, he points his gun to Charles, his finger is ready to fire the gun. But before he can do anything, you quickly shoot him right in the chest. Greg’s blood splatter to Tyler as he screams and puts down his gun.

Derek quickly gets Tyler and puts a handcuff on him while Hotch checks Greg’s heartbeat. He looks at me then shakes his head. It means Greg is dead.

You and Emily let out a sigh of relief. It was a clean shot and a clean take down even though one of the UnSub is dead. So you see it as a successful take down and glad it is over.

“I believe there’s someone who wants to talk to you.” Emily whispers to you.

You see Charles walking towards me with a smirk on his face. “I didn’t know an FBI agent could know my name.”

You chuckle, “My boss is a big fan of yours. Of course I know your name.”

“How about you?” Charles asks, furrowing his perfect brow.

“Me? How about me?” You ask him, confused about what he means.

“Are you a fan, too?” He asks me. His eyes fixed on yours.

“She’s a huge fan. A total tifosi but never had time to watch a full race because of the job.” Emily chimes. You guess she can’t take your bullshit anymore because she knows you probably say no.

Charles smiles. His dimples showing as he does it. Oh, how cute! “Glad to know a brave, badass FBI agent is a tifosi.”

“Not a big deal.” You mumble. “Alright, I’m a huge fan then what?”

“Then I would like to ask you to come to the paddock on Sunday. I have a race here.”

“Huh? Me? I—”

“She’ll come. I’ll make sure of it.” Emily says with a huge smile on her face. “She’s got VIP Access then?”

“Of course. I’ll arrange the VIP’s for the FBI Team. I’d be happy if you all want to come. This is the least I can do as a thank you for saving my life tonight.”

“You don’t have to do that. We’re just doing our job.” You stated, trying so hard not to scream yes when he said about the VIP thing.

Charles smirks and without saying anything to you, he walks to Hotch and Derek. He shakes their hands then talks to them a bit then looks at you with a big smile. 

“Your boss says yes.” He says when he is in front of you. “I’ll see you in the paddock.”

You smile, shaking your head. “Nice one, though”

He winks at you. HE FREAKING WINKS!! “I need your number for the VIP information.”

Trying so hard to control your scream, you give him your name card. He takes it with a smile then reads it. Oh stop smiling! Your heart can’t take his smile anymore. He’s too cute.

“Alright then, see you in the paddock Supervisory Special Agent Y/N Y/L/N”

--------

Whoa can't believe I made it here haha. please let me know what you think.

Ciao ciao.

All the love.

Edith

[tkblythofficial]

FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY

Read at own risk

Is Noah C interested in R?

Pulled: The High Priestess

Tarot 2.0: woah he wants her kitty bad. She’s irresistible to him. If he opened his mouth around her he would bark like a dog. BARK! BARK! Was he on Teen Wolf?

Me: No….not every random male celeb you don’t know is from Teen Wolf.

Tarot 2.0: oh.

Is Jacob E interested in R?

Pulled: Knight of Wands (reversed)

Tarot 2.0: no! In fact she should be weary of him. Not a good card to pull with this type of situation. I don’t even see it working career wise either. This is a great example of “never work with your industry friends”, she would be disappointed after working with him.

Any other potential suitors for R?

Pulled: Queen of Pentacles

Tarot 2.0: absolutely. She’s getting many offers or at least people are lusting after her. Not surprising at all. She’s young and on the rise.

Any other potential suitors for T?

Pulled: Seven of Cups

Tarot 2.0: holy shit. Yes, woah. Can’t express how much kitty is being thrown at him. That’s overwhelming. Lots of temptation. Isn't he in the middle of the mountains with horses and shit right now? So no kitty up there but when he’s out in public again? Yikes.

How’s the sex life between R and J?

Pulled: Knight of Pentacles (reversed)

Tarot 2.0: Lazy! Sloppy! Boring! He is not laying the pipe like he should. No wonder she has so much energy, he hasn’t been putting her to sleep.

How’s R's future career?

Pulled: The Moon (reversed)

Tarot 2.0: She will go through a rough patch but will come out stronger. She will overcome some of her anxiety and do different projects. She also should listen to herself a lot more. She’s self-critical and overthinks her career decisions but she will be fine as long as she transforms herself emotionally.

How’s T’s future career?

Pulled: Ten of Wands

Tarot 2.0: Not surprising. He has many projects, so many that he will be stressed and burnt out in a few years. He won’t have many breaks and needs to spend time working on self-care. His future is important but not at the risk of collapsing from exhaustion and being overwhelmed. He will miss the finer things in life.

Why did T cry while R sing the first time they met?

Pulled: Justice (reversed)

Clarification: Queen of Cups

Tarot 2.0: Another karmic card. They were definitely meant to meet. She turned down this role, right?

Me: yeah a few times

Tarot 2.0: she avoided gaining karma then. Narrowly. The universe kept warning her not to miss out this opportunity and she almost did.

Me: she said she tripped in front of a THG sign in Vegas

Tarot 2.0: a place filled with bad karma

Me: she also called her agent about playing Lucy Gray right when the book dropped. She always wanted to play the character.

Tarot 2.0: all these signs yet she almost didn’t do it. That’s crazy to me. Pisses me off actually. Anyways, her and T talked along before they met. That zoom call was the first time he heard her sing but it’s not the first time they talked. He really wanted her for the role. He felt compelled to take this role actually. He was self aware of his inner feelings during that time. He tried his best to get this role because he had a feeling it would change his life and he would meet someone important. I’m also getting the feeling he didn't like other potential cast members for Lucy Gray. It would have been a huge injustice if they didn't meet. Thank God they did.

Has R visited the blog frequently, and read what we posted? or they just told her a slanted version?

Pulled: Three of Wands

Clarification: Strength

Tarot 2.0: She’s trying to move on from this blog but it keeps appearing. She’s trying to be strong and ignore it but temptation is her greatest enemy. She knows a lot about this blog actually? Who’s telling her? I think she’s lurking.

Do their friends/coworkers and family know about zeglyth? What do they think?

Pulled: The World

Clarification: Knight of Wands

Tarot 2.0: R and T are in their own world around each other. It’s magnetizing and other people feel it. When they think of Zeglyth, it’s about success and new opportunities. They’re slightly worried that R and T had a fling but no one will say anything.

How does T feel about R’s hate?

Pulled: Three of Cups (reversed)

Clarification: Ace of Swords (reversed)

Tarot 2.0: he thinks they’re losers! No life. GET A JOB! STAY AWAY FROM HER!

Why T defend R?

Pulled: Four of Cups (reversed)

Clarification: Four of Wands (reversed) and The Sun (reversed)

Tarot 2.0: He was a witness to a terrible time in her life. He knows her self esteem was low and how much this movie meant to her. I’m seeing a lot of anxiety leading up to the premiere. She was so worried she was going to ruin the movie for everyone in terms of backlash. T reassured her that wasn’t the case at all. He truly doesn’t care about what those losers say.

What did R and T think of each other when they first met (in person)?

Pulled: The Empress, Seven of Cups, Five of Cups

Dropped: Page of Pentacles, Five of Pentacles and Temperance

Tarot 2.0: damn these cards wanted to be seen, okay. The Empress? Pregnancy? T thought of pregnancy from the gate? No way. Arrest him! But in all seriousness, he knew he would love her from the moment they met. This is also an adjacent karma card. The potential to meet your life partner.

Seven of cups? A new person in your life to cause relationship issues! Of course this card appears. R and T cause issues in each other’s lives and with their partners.

Five of cups? R’s mental health was horrific when she met him. He made her feel better all the time. J tried but he wasn’t enough. T carried most of the emotional burden.

Page of pentacles? He was willing to work hard to make this project and friendship work.

Five of Pentacles? Someone was feeling left out in the cold. Was J with them when they met? Most likely.

Temperance? Soulmates! Two extreme people on opposite ends (spot on!) needing to find a balance to make it work. Communication!!

What are T intentions for liking all these model pics?

Tarot 2.0: I swear if I get a red flag I’m done with this reading

Me: :(

Pulled: Queen of Swords

Tarot 2.0: Oh!

Me: Do you hate him now?

Tarot 2.0: no! Thank god it’s what I expected. He sees a beautiful girl with sexy clothes (or lack of clothes rather), he likes the pics and moves on. This is not like that one celebrity who was purposefully liking young girls' pics on purpose. T is a typical man who has wandering eyes and is a visual creature.

Why does T like and unlike instagram photos of Rachel?

Pulled: The Empress

Tarot 2.0: oh this card AGAIN? He’s down bad. He’s flirty and obsessed. I’m sensing hesitance though. He’s aware of how liking thirst traps looks and regrets it. Also I’m hearing the word promise here. Maybe he promised himself that he wasn’t going to like anymore pics from her….that lasted a day lol if that.

How does BB feel about it? Does she know about it?

Pulled: Justice

Tarot 2.0: woah. What a card to pull at this question. Another karma card. She’s trying to be understanding and compromise but she’s not happy about it. Doesn’t think it’s fair and is trying to be “the cool gf” but it’s not working. It bothers her deep down. She’s very aware of R though. That’s one person she doesn’t want him to interact with online. A random influencer makes her sad but she’s livid about R though. But she didn’t tell him to unlike it. She doesn’t want to bring up R at all actually. The name R is banned from her lips!

Is R upset about the fact that T is ghosting her?

Pulled: The Emperor

Tarot 2.0: Yes, very upset. She’s emotional about it. This girl needs Jesus or something. A therapist and straight jacket (it will tie her hands from grabbing her phone!). No way someone not talking to her for a day is making her this upset. Hmm. I don’t think he is completely ghosting her now that I’m reading it. Maybe he is very dry, one worded responses or taking a usually long time to respond and she knows the last time he did that, he stopped talking to her for days. She doesn’t understand what she did wrong. She’s unbelievable. She called this man the devil yesterday and pouting because he’s not answering like he usually does. Is that what you wanted, R?

Why is J so emotionally distant?

Pulled: Nine of Wands

Tarot 2.0: He’s tired of her. She is draining to be around. She even talks to him while he’s trying to sleep. Sounds exhausting. Literally. He’s close to giving up entirely.

Doesn't J get upset over the hate R gets?

Pulled: The Empress (reversed)

Tarot 2.0: Ouch. The complete opposite of how T sees her. He finds her overbearing and a huge burden. He wishes she would shut up sometimes and stop constantly getting herself into trouble. A part of him used to feel bad but he doesn’t care anymore. Don’t get mad at me but he’s lowkey right. I hate agreeing with this man. But she needs to relax.

R loves the attention Zeglyth gets but why?

Pulled: The Lovers

Tarot 2.0: She loves him. It’s that simple. She refuses to let him go. They’re soulmates. It’s a spiritual thing at this point. Which is why they’re so hot and cold. They’re resisting what’s meant to be. And I lowkey agree that they should for now. Their back and forth feelings are annoying. They need to stay either hot or cold. They'll even meet in the middle one day. While I they’re cold now, I’m sensing their turn hot soon actually. They’re both crazy to me.

how does J feel when R posts him like this

Pulled: Knight of Wands

Clarification: The HangMan

Tarot 2.0: it’s an ego boost but he’s not happy. He’s feeling trapped. It’s embarrassing to him. He also ignores her if she asks him if she can post things online about their relationship. He desperately wishes she wouldn’t but she ignores him too and ends up posting. Very immature.

Why is T done with R currently?

Pulled: The Devil (reversed)

Tarot 2.0: Oh this is hilarious. R called him the devil yesterday and T said “aight bet!” What a turn of events. He’s trying to be free of her. He’s becoming aware he’s too emotionally involved with her and wants it to stop. I think his birthday put things into perspective. He’s reflecting and thinking about how the relationship won’t work right now.

Is R's recent posts of J a way of her acting out of spite towards T?

Pulled: The Magician (reversed)

Tarot 2.0: it’s more for fans actually! Or her “J haters”! Aw she’s putting on a cape and defending her man like Superman! Shouldn’t it be the other way around? J’s silent and embarrassed. But T seeing her love stories is an added bonus.

T’s irritated but he thinks she’s of course you guessed it —

Me: A fool.

Tarot 2.0: you’re so smart!

Maybe also ask if T plans on ghosting her forever?

Pulled: Eight of Cups (reversed)

Tarot 2.0: He has a deep fear of his feelings so he’s choosing to not focus on them. He’s accepted they will always be there but he needs to occupy his time elsewhere. Career, BB, family, friends. He’s having fun and not thinking about it so much. But no, he will never be able to cut communication completely. He’s tried but can’t let her go.

Is it big?

Tarot 2.0: my heart is very big! Thank you for asking me !

Me: IS IT BIG?

Pulled: The Hierophant and The HangMan

Tarot 2.0: Call him the HANGMan, The Tower of God, The Elephant Man–

Me: chill out

Tarot 2.0: Snow lands on top! EIGHT INCHES OF THAT SNOWSTORM!

Me: *flickers water on her*

Tarot 2.0: You didn’t need to do that. I was already wet–

[hapan-in-exile]

Volume 1 - Bonus Post: I know you think about me in the shower

Another installment in this ongoing serialized fanfic

A/N: this is a bonus post from Mando's POV

This episode takes place directly after the events of Volume 1: Post 3: Thrilling Tales of Emergency Medicine.

Genre: Mandalorian x Fem! Reader

Rating: Explicit - smut, language, 18+ *NSFW*

_____________________________________

Reader prompt from @hotnmad:

“I didn’t see anything! But your thoughts are…very loud.” “How do you—right," he nods. "No helmet in the fresher.” EEEEEEKKKKKK I WANNAAAAA KNOWWWW I WANT THAT FLASHBACK. PLEASE. LET ME SEE WHAT HE THINKS ABOUT IN THE FRESHER IM BEGGING 😭😭😭

Gods, help me, pleaded the Mandalorian. I’m in trouble.

He desperately rubbed at his temples like the kinetic energy might stir something loose in his brain. I’m in so much fucking trouble. 

He’d made it four months of her living onboard without making a fool of himself. This was, in large part, because he had decided speaking with her was far too much of a liability. It’d only be a matter of time before he blurted out something awkward about how flexible she is (you can really get that leg up there) or offered her a shoulder rub (all those handstands must make your muscles tense)... 

But he couldn’t say something stupid if he kept his mouth shut. 

Now, he could not for the life of him remember exactly what, if anything, he had said to her under a haze of Bacta and painkillers.

Which is why he usually grit his teeth and worked through the pain without meds. Because that shit dissolved every ounce of self-control he possessed. Whatever impulse he felt, he chased. Whatever he wanted, he took.

And he wanted her. 

He was pretty sure that he'd grabbed her.

The sedatives in the Bacta meant his blood pressure was probably too thin to get a hard-on, but he couldn’t be sure.

What he did remember was the feeling of her breasts pressed against his chest. Hell, he’d squeezed her so tightly that one of her nipples had actually popped out over the top of her neckline. That would be hard to forget. 

He also remembered her arms wrapped around him. The way she fit perfectly tucked against him. She hadn’t pulled away. 

But he shouldn’t read anything into that. She was being nice because that was her nature. It’s the same comfort she would extend to anyone who almost died in her arms. He’d awoken with one of her pillows propped under his neck and a wool blanket wrapped around him. A tender kindness for someone who had thanked her for saving his life by grabbing at her like some lecherous drunk.

She’s kind to everyone, he reminded himself. She has this immeasurable patience that he couldn’t fathom.

A vision of wet cloth clinging to the generous curves of her breasts teased at him. They were ample, probably more than a handful.

Fucking farrik, you gotta stop thinking about her tits!

Thulani was sweet, but she wasn’t innocent. He liked that about her, too.

She had this self-awareness about the lushness of her body. She knew it influenced the way people perceived her and how they treated her. The Mandalorian had some inkling of what that must be like—he was a walking fetish for a lot of people, after all—so he found it pretty impressive when she used her sexuality to intimidate someone.   

She tried it on him sometimes.

Thank the gods, she couldn’t see his reaction under the helmet. But he did feel guilty about her confusion whenever she couldn’t read his response to her flirting.

Not that he’d try to stop her. Every hand she placed on his arm, every coy smile she flashed him, every time she walked around in her tiny shorts that were basically underwear—he enjoyed safely from beneath the view plate.

She liked to flirt with everyone. With the station agent, the merchant selling dumplings, standing in line at the bar. She was just like that. Like starlight. Everywhere she turned to cast her gaze brightened. She invited anyone and everyone to share in its warmth.

And damnit, she’d been so warm. Her round ass braced against his thigh, the thick curve of her hips pressed into his stomach. Her tits.

The Mandalorian thought back to the first time he'd seen her, crossing each other on the staircase in the lobby of Ingtar's casino. She was climbing them confidently in her ridiculously tall heels. Lifting her face to the ceiling, her body arched, breasts thrust upward like an offering to the gods.

He would probably die, and his last thoughts would be about her tits. They were full and soft but also firm. She could probably smother him between her perfect breasts, and he would die happy. 

Shit, his cock was so hard it ached. He lightly palmed it through the thick canvas of his flight suit. But he was too full, in urgent need of release. There was nothing else for it.

The Mandalorian tossed the pillow and blanket back onto her bedroll and limped toward the fresher. The stitches stung, yet the sharp pain was not enough to dull his desire. He could lock himself inside the holding cell and claim he wanted privacy, except that she would most likely hear and guess what he was doing in there. The noise from the running water and the air vent would obscure the sound of his grunts and heavy breathing.

It felt shameful to jerk off in the shower while she sat about a foot directly above him. She was a woman under his protection, and he’d already crossed some inviolable boundaries by forcing her into his lap. Last time he needed the release, he'd left the ship and rented a room in town...? 

We’re already strapped for cash.

Right. He’d just have to take care of this quickly and do penance for it later. 

By the time he stripped naked and closed himself inside the fresher, his body was trembling. His blood roared in his ears. Had he ever felt this hard before? Was it some side effect of the Bacta? Or was it simply a measure of how much he wanted her?

He reached between his legs to grip the length of his cock and squeezed. 

"Um, Mando—" She shouted from the other side of the stall door. "I know this is super intrusive, but I need to remind you that you can't get your stitches wet. You should rub—wash! Wash yourself with a cloth."

He froze. His hand had been sweeping up and down the expanse of his shaft. There was no way he could respond. His breath was already harsh and uneven.

“There’s a sponge in my shower caddy you can use if you need to…” she offered. “I’m…I’m gonna go back up to the cockpit. We’ll just—ah, wait for you up there.”

Fuck. He stood there for a moment with the head of his cock under his thumb. 

Her sponge? He saw it tucked into the container that hung from the shower head. A real, organic sponge. Large and plush. Like her tits. Looking at it made him laugh. Not even running for her life could curb this woman’s taste for luxury. 

She luxuriated in everything. And he liked that, too. She savored things. 

He remembered growing half a stalk just hearing her moan while she stuffed her mouth full of custard buns.

Her mouth, thought the Mandalorian as his dick throbbed in his hand.

He thought about her mouth a lot, too. 

Right. Let’s be done with this.

He grabbed the sponge. It was still slick with her soap. Something that smelt like flowers and crisp citrus. He wrapped it around his cock and imagined the hot, sticky sheath of her cunt as he entered her.

No—nnngh, he groaned.

Her tits. Instead, he imagined her kneeling between his thighs and thrusting himself between her breasts as she squeezed them together, sliding them up and down his swollen shaft—anngh, unngh. 

And her mouth. She would tuck her chin down to slide those full lips over the head of his cock, lapping at the beads of come she drew from him.

Mmmf—his hand stroked the full length of his erection, no longer languid pulls now, but quickly.  

His chest heaved with each panting breath.

Haa! He jerked faster. Haa! Faster, faster. Haa, aah! He was so close.

He groaned again as the pace of his frantic rhythm increased.

Knowing Thuli, she would probably look him directly in the eyes the whole time she had his cock in her mouth—nnngh!

He pumped relentlessly until, finally, he cried out. He shuddered as each spasm tensed every muscle in his body, his come spurting again and again.

Ungh! Haa, aah, ahh!

All over her sponge. 

Fuck!

****************************

Back to Volume 1 - All posts

[thefringespod]

Finally got smart enough to make my #AudioDramaSunday list ahead of time so I wouldn't forget anything for once! We're gonna start today with the newest Magus Protocol episode which was phenomenal. Cole Weavers wrote this one and I just adore his writing. Also: Augustus is here 👀

Early access for the newest ep of @souloperatorpod was this week and y'all have a TREAT waiting for you tomorrow. Tot continues to astound me with her many talents and we also get to meet a new character who I'm already in love with

@tellnotalespod has brought us back to Julia and Riley who are overworking themselves (especially Riley. Let them sleep.) I love getting to hear from them in these mini eps but they DO make me want to shake Leo even harder Leo please talk to your friends please

@camlannpod episode 2 released this week and my gods it was so much fun. A blend of deep and emotional scenes and comedy (I'm still thinking about "The CW lied to me") I love every character with my whole heart and have been loving all the theories on tumblr about the show

New @innbetween was so sweet I love hearing the Lowlifes become actual friends. Phoebe thinking that everyone wanted her to leave squeezed my heart so hard and everyone insisting she stay because she was the one that they wanted for the quest??? Just so so good

@somewhereohio has once again knocked me flat with this episode. The worldbuilding around Jasmine and what's going on with her memories is incredible! I am an Orange Splice stan 1st and person 2nd. Also the Nadia/Alex scene breaks my heart because I know how they end 😭.

New Technomancy Project was SO GOOD!! And I was FUCKING RIGHT!!! I said this before but I love having all of them play Belial's game this time around and I don't think there's a single EPO agent who didn't make me cry this ep. The Technomancy Project continues to kick ass

Caught up on last weeks @thesiltverses and gods it fucked me up (affectionate) B Narr does such a fantastic job with Faulkner. I love him. I hate him. I want him to get whats coming to him & I want to protect him from it at the same time. B's performance knocks me flat every time

There was another special episode of @wakeofcorrosion this week featuring the Fringes' very own @totcoc0a and @taytayheyhey! I will never forgive them for what they did to my heart <3 Shaun Pellington wrote a killer script and deserves none of the blame even if it did break me

Continuing to make my way through the Storage Papers this week and episodes 13-19 were VERY good. I said "Nope, don't like that" out loud multiple times while listening to 19 which is the exact reaction you want from a horror pod.

This isn't a new episode listen but @wpwcpod has announced their existence and cast and im SO FUCKING EXCITED!! Not only do I love CL Hendry's writing but it will also feature the Fringes' very own Ollie Bannerman and @chainofbeing Cai Gwilym Pritchard I'm so hyped

Also not a new episode listen but Athan (creator of The Grotto) has announced that his album is coming out on March 29! If you've listened to The Grotto then you know Athan writes killer music. And if you dont listen to the Grotto: DO IT GO LISTEN RIGHT NOW ITS SO GOOD

Here on the Fringes we're preparing for the second half of the season! Episode 19 is available RIGHT NOW at patreon.com/PineTreePods and will be available to the public this Wednesday! Also gearing up to finish the last 3 episodes of season 3 which I'm super excited for

And over on @forgedbondspod the first half of the show is written! The cast has been thrown into a discord and has access to scripts now which is super exciting, I can't wait for yall to hear what's going to come from the first 24 eps

And that's all for this week! It's a long audiodrama Sunday post but there's just. So much good stuff going on. Every day I'm so grateful to exist in this audiodrama space and to share my work with yall <3