#who wants to hear about them theyre my beloveds i miss them

[posebean]

2023 the year i draw more things than just pikachu....

[futurequibblerjournalist]

Thought this was a rosekiller/jegulus blog but tbh I'm living for the expansion lmfaoo ermm not to be super gross but since you're covering more characters.... What do u think theyre like? Like ur sex/ual hcs for them ykk you're basically undeafeated when it comes to sex takes

Anyway big fan 👍

I suppose I've mainly talked about rosekiller and a bit of jegulus but this really is an everything that crosses my mind blog!! I wish I'd blabbed about Snape's gang earlier lmaooo

Just know I'm considering making "you're basically undefeated when it comes to sex takes" part of my bio, it's been a while since I've laughed that much (I'm very flattered, thank you anon my beloved). Anyway, I'm not too sure if there are any specific characters you wanna hear anything about but I'll just do a handful and you can ask for anyone I might have missed, alright?

(Please keep in mind that some of these are more ship-based than others vnjfnbjg that's just how my brain works. Also idk if you just wanted to just know about the work but you're also getting the equipment iykwim nvjfnbjgb)

Barty: Around average, somewhat skinny, crooked to the right, uncut, a forest of wispy blonde hairs crawling up to his navel and slightly up his chest, four Jacob's ladder piercings (he's also got his nipples and navel pierced though that's slightly unrelated lol). Ass-wise Barty is concave, he's got negative ass, if you're looking for cake here you're gonna leave starving. Evan frequently complains about Barty's bony ass digging into him when he sits in his lap. The things this dude would do in bed,, whoosh. Let's just get it out there, I'm a bottom Barty truther BUT only when it comes to Evan. I think it took him a good while to get there too but I've already talked about that here! You know that audio of Pimento from Brooklyn99? That's Barty but in the bedroom lmao. I think he would be especially fond of biting, choking, spanking, anything with blood, orgasm denial and semi-public sex where Evan has to do everything he can to keep Barty from revealing their location. I wouldn't go as far as to say Barty's got an oral fixation but he loves to give a sloppy blowjob more than what's considered normal. He also gets incredibly horny when Evan comes home from the gym all sweaty and he’s a sucker for Evan spitting in his mouth. Also this is not necessarily a kink thing but I feel the need to let you guys know that Barty most definitely has given himself a blowjob just because he wanted to see if he could

Evan: Slightly above average, competing with beer cans regarding girth, veiny, uncut, nicely trimmed coarse and curly hairs travelling barely above his navel. For obvious reasons Evan’s kinks are gonna somewhat mirror Barty’s but I do think there’s certain things where it’s different. If Barty wants Evan to get hot and heavy real quick he’s gonna put himself on some medical examination table with all his limbs strapped down and let him hold a knife to his skin so Evan can fantasise about chopping him up while he fucks him or something vcbcjcnv people think Barty’s the truly fucked up one but Evan’s just more quiet about it. He loves watching Barty choke on his cock, pushing the limit on what he can take and I think he gets off on his boyfriend being built like a cotton bud because it means he can see himself through Barty no matter if he’s fucking his throat or his ass. Spanking is a big one for Evan too, he loves seeing colour spread on Barty’s freckly skin and he loves the way his own hand prickles and tingles afterwards. I think to Evan sex is more about exploration of the body than it necessarily is pleasure (at least his own pleasure) so I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s the kind of guy who doesn’t get off every time him and Barty gets down to it (I also know some people headcanon him as being on the asexual spectrum and this is my version of that lol)

Regulus: Prominent clit that pokes outwards, outie, curly dark hair that covers just about everything, small but perky breasts (carries the weight of his breasts fairly high on his chest). The fact that I struggled a bit with both Regulus and James is so funny to me cause I’m literally working on a smut fic about them rn. This may or may not end up slightly tainted by that,, oopsie. I don't think about them as much as everyone else actually jvnfjbng. Anyways! I think James and Regulus are one of those couples that think they’re kinky but then you look at rosekiller and they end up looking quite normal. He’s got a thing with making James earn access to his body. Like,, “make me see stars by eating me out and if you’re lucky I’ll let you fuck me” type shit. It’s a lot of vaginal sex with these two but there’s the occasional anal. There’s more of Regulus pegging James though. I think Regulus enjoys putting on a show for James or just like,, a show for himself. He will masturbate on the couch just in time for James to get home in hopes that he’ll catch him. James begging? Huge turn on. I think Regulus is really sensitive and it's not unusual that he gets teary-eyed from his pleasure

James: Around average, above average girth, uncut, somewhat trimmed thick dark brown hairs that reach below his navel. James “Mr Munch” Potter, ah yes. Now that’s a man with an oral fixation right there. Regulus certainly isn’t complaining, he’s finally putting his mouth to good use, but damn. Loves trying new positions even if some of them have earned a slap on the arm from Regulus because it was too stupid. Likes overstimulating Reggie to the point where his thighs quiver and he grins like an idiot whenever he manages to get him to squirt. And it would hardly be James Potter if he didn't have a huge praise kink now would it?? This might also be me furthering my dom-ish Regulus agenda a bit cause I think James would be a sucker for being bossed around a bit.

Igor: Above average (even for his height), girthy, veiny, circumcised, thick black hairs that travel past his navel and up to spread on his chest. I’m going to mention the dreaded nonchalant piss kink that's not really a piss kink but more of like a piss neutrality (he does not seek it out but if someone came to him with it he probably wouldn’t object and also I think he's got this same neutrality with a lot of other kinks actually now that I think about it) and then the real star of the show! Homeboy’s got an insane breeding kink. He’s actually awful. He’d love seeing Charity knocked up but he couldn’t be bothered to actually care for the kid probably. He also likes ripping clothes, like getting to rip a hole in Charity’s panties?? Or just straight up getting to rip them off of her? The pipe would be rumbling at that. I don’t think he’d generally be the kind of guy who goes out of the way to do hard work during sex so positions like lifting his partner (even though he definitely can) are rare. He’s a big fan of doggy style and if he can push his partner into the mattress by the back of their neck while they fuck that’s even better. He’s hit the jackpot if he ever gets woken up via blowjob or if he can just turn around in bed, lift a leg and continue where he left off the day prior.

Aurora: Innie, shaves most of the time save for a thin stripe of hair that travels all the way up her navel (does not shave her body hair in general), above-average breast size (carries the weight of her breasts further down on her chest). I'm still developing her so I might change/add to this at some point, but I think the main thing for Aurora is that she wants to do things "how they're supposed to be done". She's got this vision of what sex is supposed to be and unless her partner introduces her to something else with thorough instruction I think sex is going to be fairly vanilla for her and I don't think she'd care much for it. I think instruction in general is pretty important for her and I think someone more dominating in the bedroom would make a lot of sense for her. I could see her being into lingerie or like,, making herself look nice for her partner. Also, I'm not sure if I see this as like,, a kink, but I do think Aurora appreciates somewhat odd features. It's not just "oh nice tits, great ass" with her, she thinks hands are pretty but she'd also compliment her partner on the way their collarbones look or the way their spine blends into the low of their back. She's giving big observer and I think she gets very quiet during sex outside of like,, sounds of pleasure. I could also see her as someone who'd enjoy those really horny audiobooks/erotic novels etc as a step in her discovery of what she enjoys

Edmund: Slightly below average, medium girth, hooked and slightly crooked to the left, circumcised, completely shaved (possibly waxed) everywhere except his armpits. I think I've mentioned this before but Edmund is the kind of guy who would consider himself to be so much better than everyone else over the fact that he's not into women because he's like,, saving himself and all that stuff but in reality he's just got no understanding of his own sexuality. His dislike of women does not help him either and to say the man struggles when with his wife would be an understatement (they still end up with two kids so you know, he got there in the end but oh boy was it an uphill climb). When it comes to his homosexuality much is left unexplored and he considers a kiss or some handholding (in that context) something he needs to wave his face over. One of his major problems with sex is also that it's messy. He is a shower instantly, strip the bed right after kind of guy. I think he's very slow to explore what he likes as well (I'm still debating whether or not the guy even wanks). He's probably very soft at first and very careful both for his own sake and for his partner's sake. I think he's a big condom user but if he doesn't he's 100% a it goes inside kind of guy because "that contains the mess". He's also oddly aroused by compliments on his slim figure. I've not thought about him in like,, a super sexual context cause I think it takes him a lot to get to a point where he indulges in sex he actually enjoys tho,, maybe I should do some more thinking about him sometime.

I THINK that's all I've got for now but whoosh,, it still took me a few days to figure this out lol. There are definitely some that have more stuff I need to flesh out for some of these characters but yeah njfnjbfgb here you have it. I hope I don't lose my crown of being undefeated when it comes to sex takes jvnfjbng

[alastair-1205]

Episode 14 reactions

FALSHBACK 2

WITH KAI AND JAY

Damn this is just mean to Cole sepcifically lol

LMAO THE SHOW AGREES

I mean he’s not wrong but why are we seeing this I wonder?

Awwwwww 

CAN SHE PLZ BE LIKE A LITTLE MORE SAD??? I LOVE THIS SHOW BUT I NEED NYA TO BE AS AGONIZED AS JAY ONCE WAS MAN 

Yea I don’t think to was the real him. But someone might be messing with Nya

Arin :(

I still think it was Ras

FLASHBACK 3 WITH PARENTS

He misses his mom man :(

Oh that looks like a trap

…did Frack do it? Is Frack evil? Or is he a red hearing 

I’m probably getting played but I don’t trust Frack man

Lmaoooo she has a crush what a nerd

I think Robie likes her back. It’s kinda cute lol

LMAO ARIN. True tho

THEY ARE GAY

I want them to be married so fucking and man

WHO’S WATCHING UR CHILDREN GUYS 

They’re on a dateeeeee

LILY MENTION I CAN DIE HAPPY 

LOOK AT HOW THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHERRRRR

AND THE MOTM THEME PLAYING TOO 

I’m normal I swear 

More Jordana!

She’s got issuesssss

OH I FUCKING KNEW IT 

“I wouldn’t lie to you Arin” IS A CRAZYYYY LINE MAN 

Ok Nya praying is a cool detail to add actually 

KAI AND BONZEL

Ooooooo possession mechanics my beloved 

That’s so interesting actually I wanna see more of them

FUCK YOU CINDER

No pressure to anything lmao

Idk man I think Wyldfyre has a point here. It’s not like it’d be cheating….

ZANE MY BELOVED

Lmao I love him sm

Zane you have saved the world like 16 times you’ll be fine 

He better not get out first I stg-

Beckt is so fucking done lmao

BOOOOOOOOOO

Zane’s having flashbacks rn 

Zane I love you, but excessive force is kinda ur guys’ whole thing. I respect the sentiment tho.

I DIDNT THINK THEY’D ACTUALLY DO IT

THE TOX CARD WAS A MISDIRECT THOSE BASTARDS 

EVEN GEO’S FUCKING CONFUSED 

Lloyd is remarkably shill about this

YEA THATS UR BESTIE COLE

Geo is lowkey more devastated than the ninja lmaooooo

He relates to the lovers agony ig

Oh this is still actually sad man

NOT JAY ROASTING HER TECHNIQUE LMAO

Rip to the audience watching this fucking soap opera

YES HE IS AGENT WALKER 

So I’m guessing that convo with Bonzel inspired him to escape 

Holy fuck they actually did that to him

BADASS JAY FOR LIKE 1 MINUTE I CONSIDER THIS A WIN

I like how only the kids are cheering :(

Making Nya use lighting is actually so tragic I fucking love it 

OH THE WAY JAYS VOICE SOUNDED ON THAT LINE

I’m normal and not at all deranged about Jay Walker. Not at all

OH SHIT

RIYU POSSESION TIME? LOL??

THEYRE GONNA KNOW BONZELS ALIVE YAY

[bluiex]

OHOHOHO!! 🩸 MY BELOVED I OFFER 3 PATHWAYS

The first one is the consideration that that is how allays turn into vex: they break. It’s why allays are essentially tortured in mansions. An allay has to be broken, physically or mentally, beyond repair, for them to become a vex.

It’s why Vex have that bloodthirst. Even the ones who’re born vex have a family line that was once allay. Something about cycles of pain in nature.

It doesn’t mean Vex can’t love or care for something or someone, it just means there’s now an irreversible danger to them. The potential for great harm, essentially.

Allays that break and become vex are the deadliest vex, after all, because they’re the ones who’re closest to the source of death/blood magic.

And it means the Grian that wakes up, is not the Grian that broke.

(He doesn’t know how to handle the constant urge to hurt. How his instincts now scream at him to swipe with his now claws first. The strange longing for blood. He wants to destroy things now. Not just in a repressed anger way now, but in a “it’s the only way to amuse him now” way.)

The second idea is that Grian hides. When he hits that cobblestone wall and he starts dying, his instincts scream that he’s too exposed. He crawls his way into some rubble, halfway under the cobblestone foundation of a house. It’s not his den, but it’ll have to do.

In his mind, he’s back in the mansion. Hiding in a closet, or under the stairs, praying they won’t find him and take his baby. He bites his fist, trying to stay as quiet as he can.

And it means they can’t find him. Even when the noise of battle has died down, when the sun begins to set, they can’t find him.

There’s heavy dread and fear hanging over the village.

Just as the clocks tick over to night, a child finds them. Their shrill shouts have everyone coming over immediately, and at once, the villagers are getting Cub and Scar.

And, I think it’d be too late. For Grian at least. But maybe, maybe their grub is still kicking, somehow. Maybe there’s a chunk of Grians leg missing, and that’s how their grub lived. But their baby is alive. Their mate is not.

Thirdly, the ravager doesn’t slam him into the wall. No, a vindicator scoops him up. And then their forces retreat between waves, they take the little allay with them.

Grian can’t think straight, every muscle is on fire, and looming over him is more illagers. He can’t hear them well but he knows they’ll take his grub and probably let their vex eat him.

Everything is a blur, and he tries to take deep breaths and keep his grub inside. Even though it feels futile.

When suddenly there’s a pair of bloody vex hands on his shoulders, he immediately starts screaming and trying to get away. When a second pair of vex claws grab his hips, he wails and squirms.

The vex are speaking and he can’t hear them and he’s going to die and it’s all over and- the hands on his shoulders force him to lie down. He goes limp, and just sobs.

Theyre going to take his grub, he knows it. He can feel the grub forcing its way out of him, and he wants to die. The hands on his hips move and he knows they’ve grabbed his baby. He thinks maybe he is dead already based on the pain he’s in.

The claws on his shoulders cup his face and there’s mumbling. It’s all so distant really…

Meanwhile, unbeknownst to Grian, very shortly after being taken to the illager camp, convex had been informed of Grians capture. They naturally slaughtered the entire outpost. And when they found their allay, in a cage no less, he was minutes away from going into labor. And also completely uncomprehending of reality.

When they try to shake him he screams, when they try to talk he doesn’t even hear them. So, they push him backwards and help him deliver. Cub catches their grub while Scar holds Grian. And seeing Grian, detached from reality, not recognizing them, just go limp and sob just tore up Scars heart.

— abridged anon, who’s tired and wants to know which idea is enjoyed more

UWAH MY HEART I love the corruption having to be like mentally and physically as well. Gosh poor Gri qoq

[poltergeist-coffee]

I am officially dead

But here I am again:D

Not much to say because my mind is kinda fried

BUT WHY THE HELL IS ROIER A RAT??? AND QUACKITY TOO

I mean, I'm not really surprised, it's Roier, this is exactly the type of random thing you should expect from him, but how did it happen???

Roier is one of the funniest people ever, I can't with that voice changer

AND MIKE IS FINALLY BACK YAAAAAAAAAS

My cubito/streamer is back:D

Look, I'm not saying Pac is my favorite character/streamer but... I mean, if he was, Mike would be too because it's Pac and Mike

I would draw him if it wasn't almost midnight and I was less dead and I didn't have to wake up early in the morning and hadn't I started at lesst 4 four drawings I didn't finish, but yeah, I will do it eventually:D

Cellbit and Baguera went full kill mode a few days ago, apparently

Good for them:D

We almost got a hideduo date, but of course, Pac had to be kidnapped:D

I love how those cyclopes workers kidnapped Tubbo and Pac, and then there was Etoiles. Who was bullying them

Etoiles is simply amazing

And then they went to Forever, saying, " we got you in an ultimatum" and he put one of them in jail

That's my president:D

AND SUNNY AND RAMON BECAME FRIENDS? YAAAAAAS

Them<3

Also, I want to say that Pepito is my child now, Pepito is literally a baby, and I love Pepito very much

And I've seen some posts of Chayanne and Forever interacting recently and... I love them, Chayanne beloved

We don't have guapoduo, nor hideduo, or pacmanduo, or frubbo, or teaduo

But apparently, we got sugarduo, so I guess it is the price to pay

Anyway, I hope everything is okay with you and that you have a happy holiday:D

If have anything to say about your aus or any other thoughts, please tell me, I'll be happy to hear

Hope you have a good day/night!

- 🍽

WELCOME BACK LOVELYYYYY I MISSED YOU PLATE ANON :DD

roier gave us the most liek 5 minutes heartbreaking acting and serious lore and then turned into a fucking rat so he could be silly and crazy asdkjnvsajnakj

me too king TT i keep starting drawings and then forget to finish them TT the amount of unfinished drawings i have is unreal but i want to do them all TT currently im drawing a lot of qpac and qetoiles hehe :3c its for a racing/formula 1 au ^-^

IT WAS SOOO COOL TO SEE BAGHERA AND CELLBTI FUKING RUNNING AROUND AND KILLING EVERYONE!! THAT WAS INSANE I LOVED IT!! THE WHOLE THING WAS SOO SO COOL

im worried about qforever ;-;; he tweeted something not too long ago about his cubito and a stream tomorrow like im so worried ;-;

YAA IM SO HAPPY RMAON AND SUMMY ARE FRIENDS :')) sunny has had such a hard time making friends and feels like none of the otehr islanders or eggs (besides pepito and empanada) like them so im so glad ramon likes her TT its so cute seeing her hang out with ramon and fit like aaah theyre so cute

EVERY DUO IS DEAD!!!! NO ONE IS MAKING IT OUT ALIVE!!! WE CAN'T HAVE SHIT ON THE QSMP

yaaa i hope everything is going well for you too king :")) its lovely to see a little message from you ^-^ happy holidays!!! i hope you get some rest and everything <33

[ramzawrites]

Ok I have coffeed up 🦀🦀🦀

Could I request a fic about a Male Reader Border Collie Hybridbeing hired to look after the pets of the Syndicate while theyre at a meeting? Having to feed every single dog, Ranboos cat, Carl, the parrots, Steve the bear, etc? Trying to wrangle the foxes because theyre trying to eat poison potatoes, shooing zombies off the turtle eggs? -🌱🌟

The Syndicate’s Pet Sitter - BorderCollie!Hybrid!Reader

Male

Pairings: none

Characters included: Technoblade, Philza, Ranboo, Nihachu

Warnings: n/a

Series: A request for my beloved 🌱🌟<3

Summary: The Syndicate is meeting up early in the morning and didn’t have the chance to feed their pets yet. Luckily Y/N who lives there as well but isn’t part of the Syndicate can take care of them. And no that is totally not because Border Collies are good herding dogs.

Words count: 4732

Authors Note: I just noticed I missed the foxes oh no ;_; Why do the Syndicate have so many pets I swear! I hope you guys enjoy this! Esp you 🌱🌟 since you requested it! I also haven’t had the chance to properly look over it look for typos, I apologize! I’ll deal with that as soon as I can! Also thanks for the prompt 😌 I have a weakness for animals and dogs

The chest let out a strained creak as Technoblade closed it for what felt like the hundredth time. He was preparing for the next meeting of the Syndicate and this time he, as well as Phil, had actually planned a few things other than just showing the newest members where the headquarters were and setting up the rules for the organization.

While both men were busy running from chest to chest collecting materials and writing down information into books, they were accompanied by a soft rhythmic thud as well.

That sound came from Y/N. More specifically his tail swishing up and down as he was sitting in front of a window on the windowsill. Watching peacefully as the two went about their business.

Y/N was a Dog Hybrid. A Border Collie Hybrid to be specific. He has been technically living with Techno and Philza for a while now but Techno liked to act as if he was just some stranger to him.

When Y/N first came to the SMP Philza and Techno were the first people he met and ever since then he has gotten quite attached to them.

At first Techno tried to get rid off him, especially since he always gave him wishy washy answers concerning his opinions on governments but Y/N wouldn’t let himself get spooked off that easily and even begun building his own little home close to them without asking. At that point Techno had to accept defeat and let him begrudgingly stay.

Philza liked to poke fun at that fact but he also understood Techno’s caution. Though over time Y/N has shown to be a trusty ally that could keep secrets, even once leading people astray since they became dangerously close to their home. Because of that Philza brought once the idea up that maybe they should let Y/N join the Syndicate after all as well.

Of course Techno immediately shut down the idea for the simple fact that not once has Y/N ever clearly stated that he was against any kind of government. There was no point in arguing with the Pig Hybrid about this particular topic so Philza just dropped the issue altogether.

That said after Niki came over to join the Syndicate and Ranboo got roped in it as well, Y/N managed to at least learn of the name of the organization.

He even asked to join to which Techno just said “Prove to us you are an anarchist and maybe I will think about it.”

“So you are saying you just want me to tell you the things you want to hear in order to get in? Doesn’t seem that smart to me.”

Y/N would always pull out these snide remarks whenever that topic came up.

For some reason Y/N woke up early and found that both Philza and Techno got up early as well so he just let himself in, sat down next to the window and begun happily munching on some cold steak for breakfast.

Techno made a point of ignoring him only muttering something about a “damn mutt” under his breath while Philza was chuckling to himself. Y/N’s fluffy dog ears obviously picked up on it but the happy swags of his tail continued on, knowing that if Techno really was annoyed by him, he would have already intervened way back when he begun building his home.

Phil was rummaging through a chest, trying to find some extra paper only to suddenly stop moving and turn around to look at Y/N, his arms still in the chest.

“Y/N?” adding a whistle to ensure that he would gain his attention.

As a response the Dog Hybrid looked absolutely aghast “Did you just-? Did you just whistle at me? Did you, Philza, just whistle at me to get my attention? Like a dog?”

“Sorry, just kind of happened but since you are here I have a request for you.”

Now Technoblade stopped whatever he was doing as well to observe what was happening in front of him, curious what he was proposing. A smirk adorning his features knowing full well that Philza probably whistled on purpose seeing how Y/N was kind of an unwelcome guest right now.

“You can request but no guarantee I will fulfill your request, old man.” Y/N spoke through an exaggerated pout.

This only earned him a tired sigh from Philza “Yeah, Yeah. As you can see we are up early for a reason but this also means we didn’t have the chance yet to feed the animals. Could you feed them all and make sure they’ll be alright while we are gone? You know how this place can get with pets.”

“All? Like all the pets? Like you want me to feed all the pets and take care of them?” Y/N was obviously intimated by the idea of the task judging with how his voice jumped up an octave to the end of the question. But who could blame him. Over time the group managed to amass a comical amount of pets which included a full hound army, polar bears, turtles, cows, Carl the Horse and in Ranboo’s case even parrots.

That reminded him.

“Does that include Ranboo’s bird and cat?”

“Does what include my bird and cat?” Suddenly the door swung open as Ranboo stepped inside Techno’s home. Cramping up the small cabin even more. The cold winter air only managing to sneak in for a short moment before he made sure to close the wooden door again.

Techno chuckled “We are asking Y/N here to feed our pets while we are busy at our meeting and to make sure they are safe while we are gone. He has time after all.”

Y/N’s shocked expression turned to a frown. Oh they did that deliberately alright.

Ranboo took a moment to take in the scene before he slowly nodded “Oh, if that is the case then I would actually really appreciate it if you could take a look at my parrot and cat. I haven’t had the chance to feed them yet since I ran out of seeds for the bird. Actually the reason I came over here was because I wanted to ask you guys if you had some extra.”

Techno’s smirk was ever present on his face as he motioned with his hand towards his mass of chests “Somewhere in there we have some but I’m sure Y/N will find them and take care of your pets as well.”

“Would you?”

Ranboo sounded so genuine and almost surprised by this that Y/N couldn’t come up with a snarky response but instead he looked defeated.

“I- alright. I will take care of your pets while you do your stupid Syndicate meeting.”

“We trained him well, Techno.”

“That we did, old friend.”

Now Y/N’s happy tail wagging did finally stop and he jumped up away from the window, surprising Ranboo in the process “You didn’t train me! I’m not one of your dogs!”

He knew they were joking but he still couldn’t let that stand.

Philza stepped closer to Y/N and put one of his hands on his head between his ears. Giving a short pat only to remove his hand again “Yes, we know. If that was true you would be listening to us at all times. Anyways, I spotted Niki outside and we are ready, so, we’ll be going. Make sure nothing happens to the animals! We are putting our trust in you!”

Before Y/N could protest or retract his agreement the group made sure to leave the little hut as fast as possible. Ranboo was very confused but still followed the others outside to loudly greet Niki.

Y/N himself was so bewildered by this whole situation he didn’t even make the effort to run out to greet Niki as well. Instead his thoughts begun to swirl around his new responsibilities.

What do Polar Bears eat? How is he going to feed all of the dogs? By Ender he hoped that Techno had all the necessary things in one of his chests.

That’s when a stray thought hit him “Did they hire me as pet sitter because I’m a Border Collie Hybrid? Did they seriously make me the pet sitter because Border Collie’s are stereotypically good herding dogs?”

That thought had to set in for a moment as he was asking himself if this seriously could be the case and knowing them that might have very well been a thought that crossed their minds. They all joked around about their hybrid parts but this was just ridiculous.

He didn’t know how yet but somehow he will make sure that the damn Pig and the Birdbrain will get this back tenfold. Ranboo was okay in Y/N’s book since he mostly got pulled into this by the others but even then he was still on thin ice.

“I better get going.” He whispered in order to try to pull himself out of his thoughts.

First on the agenda were the Polar Bears. Mostly since he wasn’t exactly sure how to go about it and just wanted to get it over with but also one of the Bears was laying inside the hut. Snuggling close to the fire place.

That polar bear was Steve and Techno often made comments of him being his emotional support animal and at this point Y/N just believed him. With Techno who knew at this point.

Well what would Steve eat? Just some meat?

“Fish!”

How he didn’t immediately come to that conclusion he didn’t know but better late than never.

Y/N excitedly rubbed his hands together. Time to snoop through Techno’s things. No way in hell is he going to use his own resources to feed their pets. Hence why he begun looking through Techno’s chests. Taking note of things like stray armor, golden apples and enchantment books.

Somewhere in a corner he found some cooked fish. Should be fine, right?

Taking a couple of fish he moved over to Steve who was still lazily draped on the ground enjoying the heat from the fire. Carefully and slowly Y/N put down a couple of fish in front of his big snout. His dog ears pressed down on his head as he stared rigidly at the bear. Hoping for the best.

Steve’s black nose begun to twitch. He slowly opened up his eyes and lazily begun nudging the food closer to his snout with his big paw. Snacking on the pile of fish.

“Okay? I’m guessing that’s fine? I think?”

Just to make sure he still threw more fish towards him and then made his way with a second pile outside where Ed was waiting for his food as well. Ed was way more active and often enough obstructs the way up the stairs that lead to both Philza’s and Techno’s house.

Philza was always annoyed at Ed because of that particular reason. Though today he was a good Polar Bear that was sitting next to the stairs staring at Ender knows what.

Y/N threw him his pile of fish and watched for a second as he happily begun munching on them.

“Guess I’m doing alright after all.”

Almost as if to answer the bear suddenly begun to move towards Y/N which made him panic. Stepping back, trying to understand what he was doing now. Sure the bears are cute but also big and dangerous if they wanted to be.

But Ed bowed his head down and softly pressed his head against Y/N’s chest.

“Is this a thanks, buddy? Aw, no problem.”

Tentatively Y/N placed his hand on the bear’s head to give him one or two scritches. To which Ed then let out a deep puff of air through his nose and immediately moved back to his food to continue his breakfast.

All the Polar Bears are fed. Now only the whole hound army, cows, parrot, Carl the Horse, Turtles and Enderchest the Cat were left. Oh by Ender. That is still a lot.

Y/N immediately ran back into Techno’s hut and begun to search through his chests again. Grabbing things like Seeds, Sea Grass, more fish and some steak.

The parrot and cat were the easiest to deal with first so he decided to run into Ranboo’s house. Even if just to avoid the cold outside for a tiny bit longer.

He climbed down the ladder and found the parrot patiently waiting for him. Excitedly squawking as soon as he saw him.

Placing the seeds in front of the animal Y/N took a good look at the colorful bird.

“How are you doing? Keeping Ranboo company? Making sure he isn’t feeling too lonely?”

“Company! Company!” Ranbird answered in a shrill voice only to continue picking up the seeds off the ground.

Y/N liked spending time with Ranboo. He was a bit of an enigma with his memory issues and interesting behavior at points but Y/N loved hanging out with him. He would always try to offer to play pranks on Techno but Ranboo was too apprehensive about it, not wanting to make the scary Pig Hybrid mad at him.

The two had a bit of a running joke going on where both Ranboo and Y/N would call the other weird. Ranboo for his weird behavior and Y/N for the simple fact that he apparently didn’t fear Techno at all. Philza and Ranboo having to mostly hold him back before he could seriously upset Techno.

“Enderchest? Come here!” Y/N called out and continued to do the typical mouth noises to attract cats. Luckily he did come around a corner.

Happily meowing when Enderchest saw Y/N. Chirping as he pressed his body against Y/N’s legs.

“See, you are a kitty and I am a dog hybrid but we like each other.” Was he still a bit salty about the fact that they most certainly chose him to take care of the pets due to his Hybrid side?

Yes. Definitely.

Sure, no one else was there who could deal with it but on the other hand normally they were always so prepared for everything so this must have been planned beforehand. They didn’t feed the animals on purpose because obviously he was there and had time.

A loud meow pulled Y/N back out of his thoughts again.

“Sorry, Enderchest. You are right it’s food time.”

He then took out two fish and placed it in front of the cat who immediately put them in his mouth and ran off with them. Probably to eat in peace.

Next on the list was Carl. If Y/N didn’t make sure that Carl was absolutely doing alright and was fed Techno would kill him. And while Y/N liked to joke with Techno and pretend that he wasn’t as dangerous as everyone else is treating him like, he also knew that Carl is so important to him that Techno let him get himself kidnapped by the Butcher Army for the horse’s safety.

Technoblade hid his horse behind a wall but Philza one day accidentally found it. Y/N immediately took the chance to build an actual hidden entrance. He liked being a bit of an annoyance for Techno but if he can somehow help out, he will.

Pressing a button on the stone wall gave away to the little stable he and Philza made for Carl.

“Breakfast!”

Some Hay and other food was always ready for Carl so all Y/N had to do was put some of it in the tray and make sure he still had water. Everything seemed fine so Y/N took a second to pet him.

“No idea why Techno is so attached to you but you do seem like a good one. He protects you so you better make sure to not disappoint him as well.”

Carl neighed and nuzzled his nose into Y/N’s shoulder. Softly nabbing on the clothes which made the man laugh in return and softly shoved Carl’s face away from him.

“My clothes aren’t food, buddy!”

Luckily Carl didn’t continue to screw around and instead concentrated on his actual food.

The next pit stop were the turtles and cows. It was easy feeding them since you just placed down the food and then let them go about their day. No, the dog army would be a problem later. They might be war dogs but they were still playful dogs.

Y/N closed up the stable for Carl and made his way through the snow towards the cows first. Opening up a chest that stood close by. He placed it there a few days back with a ton of wheat. It was meant as way to help with the feeding. It was meant for the others since these cows didn’t belong to him but now he was stuck with the responsibility after all.

The cows were happily chewing on the food that Y/N threw into their enclosure and seemed to be doing alright as well so he moved on to the turtles.

For the turtles he actually had to get into the enclosure. Putting the kelp down near the water so the turtles inside the water could see him placing the food down as well. All the while he had to make sure to not accidentally walk on top of the eggs that some of these turtles have laid.

The animals themselves seemed to ignore Y/N. Just slowly crawling along the coarse sand or floating inside the water.

That’s when Y/N heard a groan from behind him. A groan he knew too well.

“Oh no you don’t!”

Y/N swiveled around and pulled out his netherite sword. A sword he made with the help of Philza. During his travels in the nether he found some ancient debris but since he never worked with that material he asked Phil for help. Which was also the reason why the purple sword was called Swordza.

“You helped me make it, I’m naming it after you.” He said to Philza’s dismay.

Right now though the reason why he turned around so fast was that he heard the familiar retching sound of a zombie. It was still early in the morning no surprise there that a loose zombie might be around the place.

Also no surprise that the zombie appeared around the turtle enclosure. For some reason they loved trampling down turtle eggs which was really just barbaric if you really thought about it. Beings that seemingly just wandered around the overworld with no goal but as soon as they spot turtle eggs they suddenly know exactly where to go. Well, besides when they find a human to attack.

The zombie limped towards the turtles.

Y/N didn’t wait long to react. He immediately took a running start and jumped over the fence. Striking down with his sword while he was landing, giving the attack a little more oomph. Together with the enchantments on the sword the zombie fell down into a burning mess. Gurgling sounds escaping it only to die down. A growl escaped Y/N’s throat as he stared at the dead mob.

“Nothing will happen to the little ones while I have anything to say about it!”

He took another sweeping look around the place but found nothing out of the ordinary. With a relieved sigh he put his sword back. The turtles were fed and safe.

Though as he looked around his eyes fell unto the hoard of dogs. All fenced in under a self-made roof. Most of the dogs were laying around either in a small pile or alone. Some were trotting around or even playing but it seemed like the dogs were still tired.

It was time to deal with them.

Y/N walked over to the dogs and as he stepped closer the animals immediately took notice of him. A few running over to him while others just patiently stared. As he got closer to the fence the nearest dogs put their front paws on the fence. Barking excitedly.

If Y/N went in like this some will run out and that was not something he wanted to deal with. There was still some adrenaline pumping through his veins from back when he spotted the zombie but he was still slowly beginning to freeze. Honestly he wanted to get through this fast so he can go back into his cabin and enjoy the warmth of his hearth.

Maybe even begin to plot on how to get back at the Syndicate for doing this to him.

But this wasn’t important right now.

Y/N let out a sharp and loud whistle “Away! Come one! Move out of the way!” He pointed to a corner and surprisingly the dogs seemed to understand that he wanted them away from the gates.

When he opened said gate the dogs patiently waited for him to move in and close it again before they suddenly begun to swarm him. Jumping up trying to lick his face or they began sniffing him out.

“Hey! Stop! I can’t feed you like that!”

He had a frown on his face but his tail was happily swinging from side to side as the dogs greeted him.

“Okay, stop! Sit!”

Luckily the dogs were well trained since they immediately sat down. Still panting in excitement and whining but now they weren’t trying to pull Y/N down to play with him.

In return Y/N got out the steaks out of his inventory and walked past the dogs. Giving each one of them their share. Whenever some dogs begun to scuffle over the food all Y/N had to do was to whistle or yell “Stop!” and they would listen.

Truthfully he feared that feeding the dogs would be the most difficult task of all the animals but as it turned out they listened to him rather well. It’s probably only because Techno trained them so well but still, maybe there is a way Y/N could use this power for himself.

It didn’t take long for Y/N to feed all the dogs but once he reached the last one the first dogs were already done eating and happily following Y/N around the fenced off area. Sometimes barking, hoping to get his attention. While his ears would always move in the direction of the barking dogs, he made  appoint to concentrate on the dogs that he was actually interacting with.

Though when he was done he finally turned around to look at the happy dogs “You guys are needy, did you know that?”

As if to answer a dog right in front of him sat down and woofed at him.

Y/N rolled his eyes and knelt down, scratching that one particular dog behind his ear “You little pooch.”

That was a mistake. A huge mistake.

As he went down and balanced on the front of his feet the other dogs saw their chance as he went down to their height, practically jumping on.

Startled the Hybrid let out a yelp as the dogs pushed him on his back. Licking his face or tugging on his clothes.

He tried pushing the dogs away from his face but it he was unsuccessful. For every dog he pushed away two new dogs would try to jump into that new space. Sadly also pushing the dogs away seemed to be something fun for them.

At some point Y/N managed to get back up but still got swarmed by the dogs. All the dogs now in a happy playful mood after having eaten. Y/N could just tell them off but everyone on the outside could see that he had fun as well playing and tussling with the dogs.

Over time that tussling just became the dogs jumping into Y/N arms so he could throw them a few feet away while simultaneously trying to not fall down as some dogs begun tugging on his clothes again. The longer it kept going the more tired he got which was hi downfall. Quite literally.

He fell over again and while the dogs swarmed around him they too were getting tired and just laid down next to him. Framing his body or just straight up laying on top of him, one dog even snuggled up to his head, ending up more as a pillow for him.

At first Y/N tried to struggle against being buried alive by the animals but as soon as he noticed the warmth engulfing his body instead of the cold harsh wind he accepted his fate.

After all he was done with feeding the pets.

“Horrible. Techno would be proud with how relentless you all are.” A yawn escaped his lips which seemed to infect a few of the dogs as well.

It really didn’t take long for him to fall asleep. It was warm, soft and he felt safe.

The meeting for the Syndicate took longer than expected. They spent way too much time trying to find a common goal to start with. They didn’t want to do something huge at the beginning but start small, something that would test their cooperation and teamwork.

Though after they finally found something and started planning a few hours had past and since both Ranboo and Niki apparently had people to meet they had to stop the meeting early.

“You think the animals will be fine?” Ranboo asked Philza as they stepped out of their hidden headquarters.

The older man just waved off his question “Ah, they will be fine! We rag on Y/N often but we can trust him with things like these. He’s a good one even if he absolutely refuses to give Techno a straight answer when it comes to governments. I do believe he is only doing that to annoy him though.”

As the group approached their home again everyone took a good look around.

“Well, everything seems normal.” Techno noted.

Niki scowled “Aw I had hoped to see him. I couldn’t even say hello when I got here.”

That’s when Ranboo stopped dead in his track. He wanted to go home to get ready for Snowchester but something inside the dog pen caught his attention “Oh by Ender! There is an arm! The dogs have an arm!”

The other three ran over, confused with what the hell he was talking about only to see he was right. There was an arm sticking outside of the dogpile. Why did the dogs pile up in the first place though?

Out of nowhere Phil snorted and pressed his hand against his chest and mouth. Trying to stifle a laugh.

Niki still looked shocked and worried, confused with Phil’s reaction “What? Philza, why are you laughing?”

“Let me show you. Y/N! Are you awake, mate?”

At first nothing happened but then suddenly the arm moved and retreated back inside the dogpile. Now the others understood what happened.

Both Niki and Ranboo looked a bit embarrassed that they genuinely thought that these dogs might have ripped off an arm and were now cuddling with it.

Techno stayed stoic as always. Folding his arms in front of his chest, waiting for Y/N to properly react.

“Y/N, come on!” Phil called out again.

A muffled groan came from the pile of dogs and Y/N’s head appeared as he sat up “What?” He whined “I was having such a nice dream!”

“Oh my- Y/N! Good morning!” Niki greeted the Hybrid happily.

In response Y/N got a bit out of his furry burial but still pulled one of the ferocious war dogs closer to himself, hugging it. His tail now out as well showing the others his happy mood as he slowly drifted off again.

“Hello, Niki.” He sounded still half asleep. At least the others assumed since his face was buried in the dogs grey fur.

“Y/N please get away from my hound army. They are bred to fight and kill not for hugs and naps.” Techno grumbled.

“Then why are they so comfy and love me so much. They love me so much more than you” He made sure to drawl out the word “love” to really hammer that fact in.

“Let’s make Y/N then our go to pet sitter.” Phil noted.

This seemed to wake up Y/N, he immediately looked up with a scowl “No! I am not going to be your pet sitter! You put me in that role in the first place because I’m a Border Collie Hybrid, or am I wrong? If it’s true that’s seriously screwed up, by the way!”

Techno sighed “Yep, there he is. Now he is awake alright.”

[sleepy-dreamers-inc]

MORE DAD WILBUR!!! IT WAS SOO FREAKING CUTE!!!

Wilbur as a Dad! Pt. 2 💫||

irl / in-game

Genre| fluff

h e a d-c a n n o ns||

Sypnosis|

Y/N and Wilbur have finally had they’re baby, so have some nice Dadbur <3

Artist| jillybeanie01 on twitter!

warnings| hospitals, swearing

Key|| [C/N] - child’s name

- There C/N was, laying in they’re parents arms, as Y/N hugged them close, cradling they’re new born baby. Y/N stared in adoration, they we’re finally going to be a parent, the journey had been rough, and still will be, but for now, it was worth it.

- Wilbur had quietly sneaked in, cracking open the door and sneakily slipping into the room. He quietly walked over to the bed, staring at the two most beloved people in his life. Y/N softly cradled C/N in they’re arms, softly nuzzling them as C/N softly snored.

“Oh god...- oh now i have two beautiful people to adore..” Wilbur giggled, grabbing his partners attention. “Why hello, Mr. Soot, would you like to meet Soot Jr?” Y/N giggled softly as to not disturb the precious infant in they’re arms.

Wilbur giggled, and slowly made his way to his lover and child.

He’s never loved two people so much in his life.

- The few days you and your baby had to stay there he felt like he couldn’t function, usually he would go on ‘auto-pilot mode’ or be totally normal, but he practically sulked around until you and C/N were discharged

- Speaking of leaving the hospital, when all of you could leave that day he was SO EXCITED. Cradling his baby in his arms bouncing them up and down ever so gently. He was so happy to finally be able to be with his kid, with no boundaries. He was truly the happiest man in the world

- He’d walk around with C/N in his arms, showing them the house whilst he had a big goofy grin on his face. Especially when showing the kid they’re nursery

(just an example but still)

- You know he’s missed streams becyhe was spending time with C/N. Which in return causes him to stream at like 2-3 AM, but then C/N starts crying, so theres just these like 10-15 minute periods in his stream of just him not being there.

- Him having shopping trips with C/N and going buying them clothes, toys, plushies, ect.

- Again, he’d totally buy sweaters and beanies for them. They’re is no escaping this thought.

- Techno travelling to the UK so he can meet C/N with Tommy and Philza. And them all of then internalky crying because ‘holy shit this baby cute but WILBUR IS SO HAPPY— BUT FAMILY TIME AND LATE NIGHT TALKS-‘

- Niki? She’d be a great babysitter change my mind. She’s like the only one you two trust besides SBI & Tubbo. Like thats the group. Thats it.

- Philza would be a great grandfather this is CANNON. That man was made to be a fatherly figure, okay? Him and Kristin would be so happy to spend time with C/N

- Like yeah they wouldn’t act like 80 year olds and want porridge or like prunes but you know they’d take your kid out to the park, play with them, like i swear they’d probably have a routine schedule

- Tommy and Tubbo would just. Vibe with them if im being honest. They probably dont know how to take care of babies but that doesn’t mean they’d look after C/N and try they’re best.

- Although you and me both know they’d get into some trouble while C/N was there, i can totally see them sprinting down a sidewalk with C/N in Tommy’s arms as Tubbo is looking behind them.

- Wilbur having to be pryed off of the duo after he found out that incident happened.

- Wilbur is a protective dad, not suffocating and wouldn’t let his kid do anything, but more of just wanting them to be safe. He would die if his baby got hurt

- He’d miss a lot of streams... which caused his chat to ask what was happening. This in turn led him to walking out the room and returning with a bundled up baby in his arms.

“This is C/N, chat. This is my baby! They’re the reason I’ve been missing so much... but i can’t complain, they mean everything to me.” He whispered, pecking his baby on the forehead as he read his chat. It seemed everyone was supportive, and he knew Twitter would blow up.

- He’d make so many songs about his kid. It’s ridiculous. You could hear him humming a new tune and peek into the next room, only to see him rocking C/N back and forth.

- He’d sit C/N in his lap and play Minecraft on stream every once and awhile, C/N would try to grab the mouse and chat sweared he started crying

- Monthly streams with C/N pog??

- When C/N spoke they’re first words Wilbur got SO EXCITED. Especially if it was “dad” or “dada”. He would SOB GUYS.

- Wilbur hates being soft in front of other people that isnt you or SBI but C/N could do anything in front of anyone and ges smiling, giggling, clapping his hands.

- When C/N took they’re first steps it was because Wilbur was strumming his guitar, making a new song. He felt a tug on his pants and looked down to see C/N standing, angry and wanting attention. Oh boy they got attention all right. He ran to his phone and called Philza

“PLIL!!! PHIL!! PHILZA! DADZA-“

“WILL WHAT IS IT???”

“C/N JUST TOOK THEYRE FIRST STEPS I THINK I MIGHT BE CRYING-“

“OH MY GOD YOUR JOKING?? REALLY?”

“YEAH!! PHIL MY BABY IS SO SMART-“

“POG-“

- Y/N and Wilbur would have to take a trip somewhere, and this time Techno is the one who gets to take care of C/N!!! You guys would only be gone for like 3 days, but still.

- But when you two got home to a Techno sleeping in a chair, C/N in one arm as a Greek Mythology book was in another, Wilbur snapped a picture because thats what brothers do, guys.

- You finding Will asleep on the couch, C/N napping on his chest. You’d probably join in the cuddles to (dont lie-)

- I have no idea what being a parent is like lololol im the youngest in my family so i hope this wasn’t SHIT-

a/n: Dadbur pog. I had no idea what to do for this post since all my ideas just left my brain.

Also sorry for not posting sooner!! Life has been super busy and a struggle for me for like,, the past week but lets hope i have more chances to write so my posts are actually good sjdbjd

Anyways ughhh sorry if this was bad but ughhh im making a discord? So pog? :D

[sapphire-innit]

Ranboo my Beloved please help this Kid please

VOD: TommyInnit Is Actually Depressed in Exile

(rp) Well that title can only mean Good and Wholesome things right??? Everything's going to be fine and dandy RIGHT?????????

.....

yeah ok I'm ready to have my heart torn out again lets fucking do this

he's drowning again :(

"its ok though because its Dream. And hes great. H-hes cool" I have never heard Tommy sound more defeated :'(

[irt the Tubbo statue] Welp this isn't going to go over well

OH WOW THAT SKIN SHIT. he looks real fucked up ohnoooo. His eyes are greyer and hes got Visible Bags under them D: also his hair is messed up too :(

"we didn't do this out of pity" have lost their magic words huh oof

"if Tubbo wanted to be here he could, and he's chosen not to" :( :( :( this WHOLE SPEECH is painful and raw

Tommy is so angry and I wish he was ABLE to direct it at dream but man, I get it. Hard to watch him tear down the Tubbo statue though

.....also side note did BBH and Puffy build this while eggified that's wild lol

:( Fundy and Ranboo came to say hi. So did Philza. ahhhhhh, fucking hell :(

"Its been weeks" canonizing the longer timeline

Ghostbur ... that hits different now ;-; ;-; ;-;

I miss him already fuck

Tommy still not eating.. :(

adsfdfsf the fuckign... girlfriend bit what even is this

RANBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

He's so sneaky and clever ahhh he hid the book!! fuck Dream took the last book and then he hid it too well lol

well that got depressing quick ;-;

Tommy really is so communicative he tries so so much I hate that no one seems to listen

"and he never would have gotten [exiled]" Tommy it wasn't your faaaullt

and they're trying too but he doesn't know how much Dream is intimidating them to stay away :(

shit he STILL hasn't eaten. Hes not putting on his armor either :(

I do NOT like the vibes on this "screaming station" .... seems fucked up

"the sun reminds me of a happier time, the sunset reminds me of my bench" THE SUN IS HOPE :(

and hes turning down primes

whoever suggested making a chair a "one person bench" omg adwsfdf

still hasn't e a t e n

lol always time to make fun of bbh and skeppy lol

.... a screaming station in the nether seems like an even worse idea than one over the ocean

Jack Manifold! I hear you fucking hate Tommy later!! and I have no idea why!! IS THIS IT

Fucking hell HOW IS THIS CANON

.........wow this sure is the WORST time Jack could have visited. FUCK

...he was even going to throw him a fire res Fuck

I still can't believe that was canonically Jack's last life what the fuck I can't believe that was the start of the Team Rocket arc

...he DID apologize, fuck fuck fuck

Jack and Tommy really talking past each other, this SUCKS so much like he could not have had WORSE TIMING and I wish it hadn't ended in a fucking, DEATH because I don't think Tommy ever meant to go that far at all, like, fuck man

(I know people are pretty sympathetic to Jack and all, and sure that sucked but also I'M HERE FOR MY BOY TOMMY RIGHT NOW OK)

....half a heart and still not fucking E a t i n g

running around the nether with half a heart. Building out over lava. Mans committed to the bit

................I knew it had bad vibes

FINALLY EATING!! Jesus that ghast lol

"why would he spawn there???" TOMMY THAT'S HOW MINECRAFT WORKS TOMMY adswfsdfsd

"I'm just a fucking tourist hub now" Exiles really done a number on him in a Multitude of ways

I knew that party was gonna do a number on him but man is it hard to see.

....I'm glad Ranboo's efforts have been appreciated a little bit. Its good to have SOMEONE other than Dream that Tommy's not cutting off

GOD the zoom in on the lava. Rough.

Hes tearing down the path too. He's physically and mentally isolating himself, which is ... harshly true to life

"Happy place / Theyre all happy / Its not quiet / Its just happy" Tommy writes the most Devastating Shit. Like first it was the Ranboo mail and now the sign, fuck. Its like any chance he gets to type, it just all comes spilling out, he can't help it

"Have I ever been the villain? ...(small depressed smirk)...probably" :( :( :( this is absolutely Dream's victim blaming working and everyone who dog-piled him about the walls and shit and fucking hell man, no

...the little interaction with Ranboo was a breath of fresh air, my beloved...

Wait what happened to the fake gf???

I do feel like its actually really good that Tommy managed to let ONE person through a little bit, and not brush him off out of pity. Its not enough rn but I feel like any outside connection is good for him right now.

It also does feel like it is because Ranboo kept trying even when he ran into difficulty. Its ALSO because of luck no doubt, and he managed to hit just the right vibes to not be 'pitying' because others DID try multiple times, but it couldn't have happened at all if he hadn't been so persistent with his mail either

I also noticed Ranboo questioned the "Dream and you are my only friends" line, which I appreciate

THE CHEST ROOM. FUCK. Well I know how THIS ends D:

"I owe everything to Dream, he comes and sees me and he gives me armor sometimes, and he makes me happier and he gives me a trident" . . . we're in the thick of it now huh

I LOVE THAT RANBOO SPEAKS SOME SENSE HERE THANK YOU. like Tommy's not in a place to hear it Right NOW, but I still appreciate it. He's very good at that (though he still has the backbone of a chocolate eclair lmao. Though maybe that's also why he didn't set off Tommy either)

He almost told him about the armor destruction and my heart hurts

"I'm gonna make it out of Cobblestone, because its my favorite block, it was. It is I think" :(

Ranboo really planning to run for president and help this kid get the FUCK out of exile

ALSO He's trying to clear up the compass thing, hes trying so hard. Tommy's not really in a place to hear it, but I'm glad it was said

......JACK. Hes coming in for a BIT and its just. He's bouncing off of Tommy so hard adfdf I can see how he becomes Team Rocket but also I hate that this friendship turned into hatred

asdfssfd don't ask Ranboo to STRIPE omg

why ARE there so many portals??

...."he takes shit from me" he told him :( I'm so glad he told him but fuck I wish Ranboo could help in some way. Too often you can't and you just gotta work with what you can do but at least he told him :(

"anyone can die Ranboo even me" there's that suicidal idealization! :(

"Its because they don't care Ranboo. Everyone who you think cares, probably doesn't"

GODDD cc!Tommy is a good actor though shit, the YELLING about the party I'M

Tommy is so communicative even now, hes trying to tell Ranboo and talk about it and I wish it made a difference

...he was triggered when Ranboo fought the mobs for him :( he sighed and it hurt :(

...he was testing him for pity with the pickaxe wasn't he, fuck

afdsfdsffs the MCC TOURNEMENT SDSFDSF

oh no tommy hes part enderman don't put him in water afdsfdf

..........................

AFDSFDSF THE LAVA OH NO ADFDSF HOW DOES HE KEEP DYING THIS WAY

......

........

........

back in serious mode I see.

Ranboo talking him off the literal edge, fuck

"Its never gonna end" oh Tommy... :(

[majoringinsarcasm]

TLDR I got into Hannibal via a friend but have never watched the show aside from clips online and him and explaining the seasons like a year and a half ago. So here I am, just bought season one on YouTube and I’m gonna rip my head off.

Anyway here’s S1E1: Aperitif (an alcoholic drink taken before a meal to stimulate the appetite) did NOT know this word before now but wow is it fitting.

Opening with the sound of sirens cool cool cool we love that

HES JUST STANDING THERE

THE PENDULUM STOP

I can’t imagine filming this. It must have been so fun or so frustrating. Possibly both. I know they probably filmed it all and then rewound it but it’s such a fun sequence.

Can you tell I took one film class in college

oh the door kick. the music for this is working oh boy

Mr. Marlow the poor bastard FLEW down those steps Rest In Peace sir that was sick

THIS IS MY DESIGN HE SAID IT HE SAID THE THING

I get it now. I though i got it before but no. No no no no oh but do I understand on a primal level just how attractive this Will Graham is. It’s been 4 minutes and I want to. God he’s so smart and a freak but also Interesting. No wonder Hannibal wanted him Immediately he’s right stop booing him

Oh no oh hi Jack oh it gets really sad for Jack fuck I’m sad now fuck

Damn if he’s not handsome though

……. IM SORRY????????????

Jack did you just “may I?” and fixed Will’s glasses. On his face. Alone in his lecture hall?????

Gonna think about that later alright then

CAN I BORROW YOUR IMAGINATION THEYRE SAYING ALL THE LINES

Can I just say how sad I am for Abigail? All those victims looked like her. They were meant to be her. All she wanted was to be normal and go to college and live a life but her father couldn’t let her have it. And I’m jumping the gun but the fact that she died in a kitchen at the hands of a parent who was loving up until he wasn’t while her other parent lay on the floor. I’m so sorry honey

God the parents oh it’s so sad already

Oh Beverly Katz my beloved (mentioned)

Oh god the cat no I hate this

Oh Mr. Nicoles I’m so so sorry

Will’s profile here? Like minute 11? Gorgeous

The visual of the pendulum gives me chills it’s so good

BEVERLY KATZ MY BELOVED

WINSTON

Man his car is ugly

Oh the biceps in that white shirt

YALL DIDNT TELL ME HE TAKES HIS SHIRT OFF after a nightmare that makes him sweat like a pig but HE TAKES HIS SHIRT OFF EPISODE ONE IS A GIFT

He’s sweating so bad he has to sleep in a towel. The poor man

Oh what a lovely color for the bathroom. Would look great in a children's hospital

I know what Jack is saying is very serious but the line delivery of “there was no Semen, there was No Saliva” is sending me. It’s too late I already know Hannibal NBC is a morbid comedy it’s too late

BKMB BEVERLY KATZ MY BELOVED

Tho I think she should tie her hair back. She is beauty and grace but why didn’t she tie her hair back. Maybe she doesn’t need to in this particular lab idk

Oh Abigail honey

Miss Bloom!!!!!! What’s up you complicated work of art!

WHY DOESN'T SHE TIE HER HAIR BACK AU where Bev fits a killer profile and Jimmy finds her hair on the victim and Will asks Hannibal to help him find the real killer so his bestie doesn’t go to jail TIE YOUR HAIR UP PLEASE

I can’t imagine being in a room with your coworkers and a dead body and this new weirdos who speaks like every word is a painful poem. Irl I would not be ok with Will he speaks like a tortured ghost id be scared. Snarky Will I can handle. Profiler Will I cannot

Ok. Ok. Hold on

So I know Hannibal is a cannibal. I know Hobbs was eating his victims. I know we as the audience know more than the characters.

What I find buck fucking insane is that Will met TWO CANNIBALS in the span of like. A week, four days??? He was in a house with two (three counting Abigail) cannibals. I don’t think we see many others in the show who eat people outside of Hannibal feeding them but it’s. It’s not common to eat people or at least I don’t hear about it often. It’s not a big number but it’s way higher under one roof than one would think

There he is ladies and gents! King bitch of simp mountain before it all began what’s up loser!

God he’s kinda hot tho I hate it

That lean forward filling the frame. He’s the lion in the room god I want to bite his face

The blue suit makes him look like a little sailor boy. It’s the kind of powder blue that makes me think of Alice in wonderland but also just. TROY BOLTON FROM THE HSM PROM SONG OH MY GOD

LOVE the tie tho

Hate that all my pictures have to be on my PHONE bc it won’t let me screenshot the colors are not being done justice

What. Happens to his secretary for real though?

Jack. I know he’s not flirting but man he is. Wow

Oh god they’re meeting oh fuck this is the beginning of the slow end

I want to bite Hannibal’s cheekbones

“Who’s profile is he working on!?”

I. Love. Jimmy.

Ok but for real I want to know what Hobbs was thinking. Bc if he was as loving as Abigail said then surely he would know Abigail would come home to visit during long weekends and breaks?? Did he think she would leave forever? Bc if that’s the case she could’ve run away at any time. Why did he think he needed to do this. Why did he have to kill her to keep her

You can’t keep showing me this man without his shirt. You can’t Timestamp 31:26 it’s bad for my health

If someone woke me up in a pitch black room with an aggressive ass knock I would turn them away

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. If I made someone as attractive as Will laugh Like That while he was eating the food I made him I too wouldn’t stop until we were intertwined. I get it.

The lighting of this scene is so crazy. Shadows eating shadows and then just. Small amounts of light hitting the lips and hair and nose!! The noses!!

“How do you see me?” Sir can you deliver that line with 80% less flirtation please

“What are you smiling at?” I hate them so much already there’s how much more of this

OH WILL’s OUTFIT??????? THE SHIRT???? i need to stop hyping up white men I can’t do this again James McAvoy was already one thing don’t talk to me about IT that’s another movie I refuse to see but got stupidly invested in. Don’t ask how

“They know.”

Gaaaaah the transition!!!

Did you need to show me a closeup of his mouth????

(Thank you)

This man. Shoved his dying wife out. Why not just leave her in the house why would you push her out what the hell

Lmao Hannibal just watching rhejdbdndjdnd Will hon you’re not doing anything but panting above her cmon man

“GARRot jacob HOBbs! fb-EYE” the line delivery please idk why it’s funny

STOP HES SO GOOFY LOOKIN MR HOBBS FBDJDBNDNF

This episode was shot so pretty wow.

Final Thoughts: Though some line deliveries made me laugh this episode was beautifully shot, the introduction of the characters is great, it mentioned all the key players and I’m even more in love with Will Graham than before which I didn’t think was possible. The beginning of the episode is my favorite part. The entire reconstruction during the lecture gave me chills. Super excited to be emotionally torn apart as things get messier.

[tobebugjewce]

THE WALTEN FILES: my jumbled notes on my blind run-in with this web series

first off this is gonna be long and unorganized, also this is my second time writing this as i had lost literally half of my progress and im This (imagine two fingers almost touching with a 0.0000000001mm distance between them) close to ripping all of the fucking hair out of my goddamn head. but now this will be extra long and yes, i will lose some accuracy to my first writing but thats okay ill probably edit this a kajillion times over

which brings me to my next tangent; im literally braindumping here. so to have a smidge of organization all afterthoughts, edits and corrections will be boldened, i forgot what im gonna do with italicized text but ill probably bolden it here yeah im pretty sure its for side tangents, separate from Corrections, which are in bold. also theyre for emphasis too.

so in general, this post right here is all of my notes i wrote down on my grid-patterned sticky notes (which i used WAYYYY too much of) about the first 3 uploaded walten files youtube videos transferred onto my handy dandy digital notebook, this b(l)og. yeppers peppers. you know im serious about this shit when i typed probably over like a thousand fucking words including boldened shit, italicized shit and motherfucking links, lost it ALL, and im sitting here re-typing it again.

i feel bad about this but im not gonna trigger warn right here, but this is technically a warning. if you want a list of triggers as to what this post (and the walten files in general) i will link a little list to that here

without further a doo doo, (mama mia) here the fucking fuck we go again.

THE WALTEN FILES - VIDEO #1

clarifying this now, im gonna put some useless shit which i thought was code onto this because even though it was useless it was part of my notes and im physically going to combust if i dont put down every single thing i wrote on my papers. so what i thought was code was in the closed captions, i started writing it down when i got to the second video but came back to my first videos notes to include them. i wrote down the first letter to every word that was capitalized in the closed captions, which i had on as a default because number one i knew going into this id need them because most web horror things like args and cryptic shit like that has some of the most crucial shits in the closed captions. number two i am autistic and have auditory processing issues and have most closed captioning on as a default if theyre available.

firstly jotted, i wrote down the closed captions “code” so im gonna put the rest here too: HYWITB(BSI)Y A(BSI)BJWFKWITW ILHHFSBBSBTLBWI USOISTBNBSFIRBCAWHSHCBWHTAIGRNB*C*BTWLTSFA(20)MCFP ILITIIACPH(1978, 1979)SA(4)YTSCH*C*OGSSU SFTGRPATDBBUTFBNLLCHMIHLBRALLCLAYTUKB*LC*WHATWASTHATTHING 

the numbers in parenthesis are there because i wasnt sure they should be included in the “code” or not. i also thought of this with the BSI - bunny smiles incorporated and also the years 1978 and 1979. the shits in asterisks are coughs and light coughs, which were capitalized in the closed captions so i included them too just in case

i then jotted, in parenthesis of course, the names of the animatronics when they were listed in the animation section of the video; bon aka the blue bunny, sha aka the sheep one, boozoo aka the clown<3 honk<33, and banny aka the purpled eyelashed up one who is also a bunny btw. also i got boozoo the clown and boozoo the mustache guy confused because apparently the clowns name is billy???? but they named “boozoo” in bons sleepover and showed the clown? idk maybe im an idiot and theyre the same or just an idiot and theyre different or a super mega (matt and ryan?!?!??) idiot in general which is probably the case

i started drawing little stars to write down things i thought would be super important or to 100% look at again. the first subject of this pointy torture was the part of the video where at 3:00, i marked it down to make sure to reverse the audio as it was most definitely a weird audio that has that signature warp-y effect that makes sure you KNOW its in reverse. i then listened back to it Very carefully (still got it wrong) and got this: “you finally start to remember. that old doll. they will look out for you soon” im also pretty sure i heard “sophie” at the end of that audio but im not entirely sure and dont remember and i dont wanna go back to check lmfao but anyways it didnt matter because i was wrong anyway. after i had finished all 3 walten files i watched the film theory video on the walten files (which didnt cover all 3 but was dece.) out of curiosity and to hear matpats signature silly little voice explain some stuff i already knew, and click some shit in my brain that i couldve thought up of if i was a bit more... i dont know honestly. anyways yeah so the actual audio is “you finally start to remember. that old day. they will look out for you soon.” so yeah. day, not doll.

i then wrote down “sarah evelyn”, the name on the bons sleepover animation (i dont remember if she created it or animated it or whatnot) and scribbled will she matter? under her name. turns out no, as i didnt see her name in the rest of the series, let alone the first video. this is also a great time to mention how matpat theory helped me realize that the walten files are collections of videos, uploaded onto youtube by anthony. (i already knew about anthony as he signed his name in the descriptions of the youtube videos, making me categorize this overall web series more into an arg type genre.) but yes, the tapes, recorded “irl” footage, animated clips, vhs tape recordings and other audio-visual content is all collected and labeled the walten files, as i had mistaken each video to be a tape. stupid me. alrighty, onward!

i starred this one, good for me; MISSING: Jack Walten LAST SEEN: 06/11/1974

i jotted down with an arrow that; sophie was a nightguard? she was wearing the uniform explained in tape 2 i dont know why but i went back into my video 1 notes after i had watched video 2. organization purposes. i guess.?? 

i then paused the video when the screen flickered a date, the beginning of video footage dated 10/10/1982 (Brian Stells?) god my little genius ass assuming the videographer was brian stells, based on the id card i saw earlier.

i then wrote down what text i saw on the dead, mangled, bloody body in the purple security suit; “i cant feel anything” “he thought i was her” then drew a little arrow pointing to; thought brian was sophie? or ashley? i also starred the name Brian Stells this is totally out of order LMFAOOOOOOOO also i wrote down ashley because, again, my little pea brain went back on my video 1 notes after watching video 2. but yep thats all i wrote for The Walten Files 1 - Company Introductory Tape

THE WALTEN FILES - VIDEO #2 

Tape #1 - created 07/02/1978

awesome how thats first and foremost in the captions. god. so sexy of you martin walls. /j /nsx

this pack of notes is chunkier because again, like i have mentioned before i am an absolute goober and thought the capitalized letters of the words would actually mean something. I MEAN MAYBE THEY DO AND IM JUST DOING IT WRONG but i stopped doing it after this video because holy shit it was exhausting and my stupid little fingers couldnt take the writing anymore becasue i am WEAK. 

so write off the bat (squeak) i wrote down 197[] the blacked out rectangle over the last digit of that year and everything im also now assuming its probably 1978 or 1974 because lore reasons but whos to say but yeah i also wrote down this;

Tape #2 - created 08/13/1978

then, straight up in the beginning of the video i caught it, the flash of text, as i had by now realized i gotta be SUPER stupid focused on the screen in case i miss anything, i wanted to be crazy precise on my theorizing and mental notes, among other things. but yes i saw it, the first half of a youtube link;  “https://youtu” 

claps hands together and rubs them evilly. oh yeah baby. thats the hot lunch. this shit right here? the cats pajamas. lets fucking go.

i wrote down this goofy shit i pasued to inspect when i saw bon sorting through a file cabinet and naturally scribbled down the labels and other written things i could see on the files; 

relocate X/X/75 felix

storage K-9 07/23/1975 felix k(ranken)

Bons Burgers 06/28/1974 Jack Walten

Shipping Service 1975

New Location -> 1982

i also wrote down more goofy shit, like when banny was created for some reason; in 1974

starred, i noted to go back and reverse the audio at 5:09, when played back, i didnt write it down so i dont remember. lmao.

i also marked to screenshot and brighten the darkened image i saw at 5:20, i was going to do it on my phone then realized i can just do it on my computer so i quickly took a screenshot, brightened it and wrote down what i saw; a missing person poster that read MISSING: SUSAN WOODINGS(?) Last seen: 1974 i was very unsure of the spelling of her last name because the image was so goddamn low quality and grainy but its what i saw. this is where tape #3 gets thrown in, which im gonna type again because i like how the formatting looks;

Tape #3 - created 07/09/1978 (BEFORE tape 2?!//1/1??? its more likely than you think)

i wrote down more dates, any dates i saw, i jotted down. i wrote; 

Technical Support 1978 

then, 

Brian Stells (for some reason i dont remember right now)

alrighty this is where the stupid capitalized letters come in, but before it looks like i vomit a keysmash time infinity on this, ill put down the little inbetween things i wrote in the midst of the caps lockalypse like timestamps and stuff, so here you go;

- Reverse at 8:16 which i did but of course didnt write down what i heard. i think it was too warbled to hear anything clear out of it, or it was just the good ol auditory processing issues fucking me over yet again. WAIT yep yes i did here it is: “rosemary would go to the restaurant every night hoping that [her] beloved husband would reappear after being missing for weeks but no response until one day [s]he heard a voice [saying] ‘i know where he is rosie’ coming from the back stage” the bracketed stuff is the corrections, i misheard the audio and thought the audio said “his”, “he” and “singing” like a nimrod

- Brighten at 10:14 which was another missing person poster, but i dont think it had any information on it because i didnt write it down, just;

- Sophie again (pic at 9:08?) (dismemberd and put in Sha) i was stupid and wrong haha idiot it was rosemary who was put in sha but anywho

i starred and underlined a huge thing i discovered which was;

- Walten had 3 kids which i dont remember how i found out but it doesnt matter, its good important info i uncovered.

- Tape #4 - Unkown Date

- recorded 07/12-07/14 1978 

- Hilary B, Ashley P & Kevin W i made sure to get these names down as soon as i saw them on screen but then realized shortly after i wouldnt really need to have it as the closed captions made sure i knew which person was talking by using their first initial (capitalized of course) before each line of text. this is the perfect time to announce the arrival of the clusterfuck of capital letters, which is going to include colons which will indicate that the letter before it is the initial of the person talking. without further aedue, here comes another chinese earthquake;

TCWTSTATO(K-9)TBSSFWFCNEHAWBSUBIUC(BSIIDC)OWHISF INBIJTILNSPL(K-9)LCSCKCCCWTTLTLITTTYROTFAJAMHPYYSTCSPMBBWSBIB H:NTPPCCK:DA:HH:YCPRPMWTCBCRAWK:JH:SYYTCPBACPSTBAWCA:TK(?):FMTTCMK:TCPNOA:DTOFK:ITNPPRA:YBUTIRRFH:HKIBESRAIA:TCK:WA:WPCCFTRRIDPEH:GGK:GPA:LKK:WA:HNCGTKMK:YH:IGKA:ESK:MFH:RK:HILRLBNTRPPUWHITRRTPEIFEPH:YWBEBPK:MAHPBTRPTRPEL(LN)HTACPKLIKHPFITSKLTKLB(LB?)ISIBSUBIPRW AEBATHSPUAICTPURTWBBRPHTRTIIIILTCITCUCCP S(bpe, be)WA”IDCPBPSIB

holy shit its finally over okay now onto some MORE of what i wrote down in between and also after that keysmash attack;

12 doors? (backrooms) 27? 26? i was unsure because ashley was unsure too lmfao

found cassette (6/11/78) <- says “discard”? yeah it did

Tape in clown audio, speaking voice; jack, susan, charles(?), rosemary, sophie, last word sounds like “walrus” it was walten lmfao

Ashley died? yeah she did lmfao OR AT LEAST I THINK SO??

starred this one, Reverse @ 17:06, then got this;

“they left the next day, they thought ashley left early, but she was in the backdoors, screaming as much as she could, but no one heard the screams, the following days the caretakers would complain about an awful smell coming from the backdoors, company decided to shut down facility until new advice, the relocate project was unsuccessful. ashley is still there, but she is not screaming anymore, she saw something she wasnt supposed to see and now shes beautiful” the phrase “shes beautiful” was repeating like a bajillion times in that wall of text. then, god motherfuckng bless: 

at 17:23 i found the other half of the youtube link, “.be/k07QqEDOfQ” i pieced that bad boy together as instant as i think any form of ramen could never be, but remained ever patient. because i made sure to jot down this before moving onto my next segment;

@ end of vid 2, “shadow man sees* me when lights go off” im an idiot *it was actually “feeds” not “sees”, which AGAIN, i only found out after watching the stupid little film theory video *begins snarling and foaming at the mouth*

okay im not proud to admit im editing this to post it and realized ive lost my notes. well. 

might as well post what ive got! if i find my shit ill add onto this, i suppose.

[fictionkinfessions]

Hi mpc Im having a Moment™️ so-

Gay longing for a second

I miss bonking Tartaglia on the head when he comes home injured from needless fights again

I want us to bitch about our underlings incompotence to eachother til one offers to "take care of" them and the other groans and says "No I still need them >:/"

I miss watching Tartaglia get into snowball fights with his siblings and Klee and laughing my ass off when the kids kick his ass

I wanna laugh at him when scara kicks him in the nuts for the tenth time this week then hold him gentle when he starts whining about how mean I am (all in a loving/joking way ofc)

I want us both to be dragging ourselves home after a long day at work and just passing out on the couch together cause we cant be bothered to get to the bed

I wanna angrily roll out of bed cause I smell him cooking and I forgot to eat again so I come like a hungry little puppy and he just laughs while I struggle to get coffee without spilling it all over the counter cause Im half asleep but he just takes the pot from me and makes me sit down before I pass out again

I wanna hear him scream about how hes about to do something stupid, tell him hes about to do something stupid, then get up and watch him do said stupid thing while holding popcorn

I want to gently hold him on his bad nights, running my hands carefully over his scars while he rambles about whatever he pleases to get his mind off the bad memories.

I want him to do the same for me.

I want to practically kick down our front door to bitch about the old Karen™️ who annoyed me at the grocery store and have him quietly sip on his drink while I pace back and forth screaming. Only to suddenly stop and huff and him to raise a brow and ask "You done?" then when I say yes he offers for us to fight some treasure hoarders to calm me down

I want him to keep breaking into my lab at work just because he wants to see me and I have to keep telling him hes not allowed in my lab because he distracts me and he PROMISES that he'll just sit in the corner and watch but he NEVER does and keeps trying to steal kisses while I work

Tartaglia. Ajax. My dearly beloved Husband. I miss you so much. I wish you were back here with me. I wish there was enough content of us for me to attempt to cope with my severe longing. I can never tell what things I seem to miss are actually from a timeline I have, or if theyre all wishful thinking. I think of you so much that it all becomes a blur.

I hope youre doing well for yourself. I hope youre happy. I hope you think of me as much as I think of you..

~Il Dottore 🕯♟

[cornfarm]

isjeishwish plz tell us more about anzai-chi

like her relationship with the another characters

also ur drawingstyle is 🥺🥺🥺

OMG i'm so happy you asked!!! i'm so happy people care abt her, and thank you!!!! :DD

i'll give some fun facts about her and then talk a bit abt her relationships! i wrote a LOT so i put most of it under a cut! i'll give anyone who reads it all a cookie lol

--

her planets name is mezpria! she calls herself a mezprian.

anzai is usually seen carrying around a mop. she usually has it slung across her shoulders carrying bags. shes very skilled in spearsmanship, so she sometimes swings around her mop for fun, and people with keen eyes for fighting recognize her precision with her strokes.

that being said, she does have a spear! i mentioned that she could channel thunder to strike, this spear is what allows her to do so. when she swings it and a certain speed, it creates a line of static, and lightning will strike whatever connects, or is closest to that line. because of how dangerous it is to be put in the wrong hands, she keeps it under her bed in her apartment.

her extensive use of it during the war is what caused her hearing problems. she's not entirely deaf, but she does miss things if people speak too quietly. she does know sign language! she teaches the yorozuya some so they can gossip about people across the room.

this does mean though, that she fights frequently with simply a mop. it's a similar gag to gintoki's wooden sword, but when people say she's holding a mop, she just tilts her head and says "this is a spear?".

this is her and her spear:

sougo thinks she's funny because hijikata HATES her. he's always pissed off about how she's skirting perfectly around the law, and manages to avoid being arrested. he even hates her more because he really likes a certain type of cigarette she sells. she sells them in packs of 20, and they're made from a type of fermented, then dried wheat from her home planet.

he'll come into the shop yelling about he's "gonna arrest her and she better watch out" while buying cigarettes. the only quality he'll ever admit to liking about her is that she never comments on his hypocrisy, and that she doesn't (outwardly) judge him for his food choices.

other than hijikata, the rest of the shinsengumi is relatively neutral about her. sougo does find her antics very amusing. he definitely comes to her shop like "miss anzai will you please teach me how to roll cigarettes <3" and then puts cyanide in one for hijikata. then when it's the one she picks up to smoke he punches her so that she doesn't. maybe he hangs around because he can sense how mischevous she is.

she's always eager to teach people things about her culture and how she runs her shop! as much as she's eager to teach sougo, she also ends up teaching shinpachi and kagura lots of stuff as well. she would never say she's maternal, or a mother figure, but there's something about the way she explains things, and brings them food, and gives advice that get a "thanks mom".

sometimes she gets it from gintoki too, but when he says it she looks at him very sadly. she HATES being called mom and scolds them for it.

speaking of gintoki, i'm tired of a harem, so he likes her! it's entirely unclear to everyone if she reciprocates. she shows just enough interest to suggest she might have feelings, but she's so distant it's hard to tell. even though his kids tease him by saying shit like "please don't lower your standards to someone as low as him," to her, theyre all secretly rooting for him.

she initially met them because she needed some people to help her move and decorate her shop. they asked her why she didn't hire a moving company instead. she says there wasn't a particular reason, but she had been lingering outside their shop for a solid week before talking to them. they definitely noticed and were like "whats with this chick", especially cause she would just stand there and stare up at the sign trying to muster the courage. she really wanted to meet people and try to make some friends!

she pays them so well they actually do an okay job! anzai thanks them, and tells them they're allowed to come by anytime, and she'll give them a discount for anything they'd like. they come by very often, gintoki particularly likes the alcohol she sells, as a lot of it is very sweet, so they frequently drink together at night.

she also brings them food often. it's an easy way for her to express gratitude and affection. she's pretty poor at cooking japanese food at first, but she learns quickly!

her and gintoki have a lot in common, the biggest aspect of their relationship being their sense of humor! she's always amused by the things he says, and it's very reciprocated. he likes that her humor is so similar- they end up bonding really quick. they do banter a bit, but a lot of their interactions are enabling each other. he teases her a lot.

kagura and shinpachi don't like the way they talk to each other. kagura says their weirdness rubs off on each other too much, whereas shinpachi is simply baffled about how there's someone who can match his energy so well.

heres a silly comic i made:

anzai does give him these judgemental looks sometimes, but they're done playfully. when he does cross a line and piss her off, she just disappears, always managing to be away when he looks for her. when they fight it's miserable to watch because gintoki's too stubborn to talk to her, and she's too freaked out by emotional confrontation.

they're all very thankful anzai is a little bit responsible and always makes up with them. gintoki frequents her shop and is like, "hey, i'm not here for you. give me 5 of those little bread things, three of them strawberry and the other two peach. that's what i'm here for, not for you. are you free later?" and then lingers around way too long.

she tries to give otae cooking lessons, masked by a "let me teach you how to make a classic mezprian dish ^__^" in an attempt to alleviate shinpachi from his despair. she manages to screw up even simple recipes so she just shrugs at him.

one time katsura's ronin try to assassinate her because they heard crazy rumors about her war crimes and exploits and she just looks at him like "can you stop trying to kill me please." eventually he's like "my bad lol we heard a bunch of crazy rumors about you" and she's like "those are all true :)"

she gets very silly and happy when drunk, so her and gintoki have a lot of fun drinking together. although sometimes she tries to tackle him, she doesn't have the arm strength when she's drunk, so he always ends up just swinging her around. she's definitely gotten a concussion at some point.

she also tends to crash with him, so when shinpachi sees her sneaking out in the early morning she always gaslights him into thinking he was seeing things.

hasegawa, gintoki, and her gamble often! she's pretty well off so she's not too worried about money, so she just thinks its fun. when they tell her to start stripping so they can continue gambling something away and she's like "absolutely not" and then takes her apron off.

i feel like i've spoken really only highly of her, but despite how she's generally liked and beloved by many, she's painfully distant. she's always a few steps out of reach from everyone, and because of that she feels like an outsider. heres another drawing of her:

most people call her anzai(-san), but otae and hasegawa call her yae, while kagura calls her yae-chan. sougo commonly calls her boss, and gintoki calls her a slew of shitty nicknames, most commonly with her lastname, since it uses the kanji for "toki". she calls almost everyone by their first name with no honorifics.

AND THATS IT!!! i can definitely think of a hundred more scenarios with her and different cast members but i've already written so much ;__;

if you've read this far i'm giving u ur cookie of choice

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

hehe glad i could make you laugh, oooh that sounds awesome! yeah id love to be tagged it sounds great :)

YES the differences are so fucking weird. like, they do know they're the same age right? i feel like its just an exagguration of how much the persons role in the group matters, like we see chan being held up as such a mature, old leader while jungkook who is literally the same age, is still babied etc. like enha hyung line is basically the same age (if a bit younger) as chenle and jisung but somehow the rules are different?? as you point out, still legal but still bizarre. hehe yeah, i mean where else are we going to rant? quora lol. mmm, hopefully more people can just write less smut abt people who are barely adults

ah, no prob it didnt take long. yeah i think thats right (i keep forgetting you know my url lol) mmhmm :( i think if that happened irl there would be some major trauma going on. knock wood it never happens to you or me lol (/hj)

hehe same! oooh glad Redemption For Cheese was realised! yess we cant rllycomplain that theyve written/produced too much good music lol. yeah, ive dragged him into being a stay so *dusts hands off* mission accomplished. mmm yeah, they tend to have a certain vibe but tbh it couldve worked if they were any other group but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ahh ur one step ahead of me on the stages of listening to ssick i think, still not convinced but thats okay! hehe, it had to be said. yesss the itch in the back of my brain is very satisfied by sorry i love you, felixs vocals deserve to be appreciated! (side note i feel like hes trying to sing more like his speaking voice, sorta husky, but tbh i wouldnt be mad if he sang like in glow, his sweet honey vocals made my life lol. but i think ive heard him say he doesnt like singing like that cos it makes his normal voice less husky, so what can you do)

> YES SOMEONE SAID IT. seungmin rap KING, he sped thru that rap like it was nothing, he deserves more rap lines. i do like how they gave minho some melodic rap lines this comeback, my guy deserved to show off those skills that made him not be eliminated (flashbacks to stay collectively wanting to murder jyp) and we already know changbin can sing, my man murdered masked singer. hyunjin can obviously sing as can jisung and felix, and i want to hear chan rap more! i feel like he started as part of 3racha (as a rap unit not producing) and then just became a vocalist (which im fine with, but it could be nice to hear him flex his rapping skills) and was partially replaced by hyunjin. anywayyy

back to album talk. lmaooo sad music to twerk to PERFECTLY describes silent cry. yes secret secret is and will always be, a masterpiece. hehe glad i could make you laugh :) i just felt like they have similar vibes. putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised. oh my beloved track, red lights. ahh thats okay, we can have different opinions, but by god the lyrics are *chefs kiss*. *banging on table* TWISTED AU TWISTED AU TWISTED AU. yess id love to see ur take on it! sdfghjkl it would have been glorious

no no! not stupid, just able to predict my brainwaves. ooooh thats so cool! makes me want to go there (wherever there is lol) yeah the waves are pretty good here, but none of my familys a surfer, so we dont rlly enjoy the full potential lol. YES moving on to gone away, it is indeed a heartwrenching track, but the vocals and the bloody key change? makes me want to brave being sad just to listen to it. mmm yeah, good point :( i feel like ive just gotten used to overthinking so much so that it doesnt matter what mood im in, ill do it anyway, so might as well just do what i feel like doing anyway.

yeah i think ur right! it is quite comforting knowing that all the tracks will get the love they deserve. i feel like also people assume kpop is just one genre which is utter bs. there are so many different vibes and feels and songs, i couldnt get into kpop (of which i thought only the bright cheerful present day bts stuff existed smh) until i heard gods menu so... idk where i was going with this but yeah. :)

YES FUCK YG, theyre literally on the brink of being kicked out of the big three and they are holding their salvation hostage without letting them do ANYTHING. idek what thought process goes thru their minds but arghhh its so infuriating. yess lisa's cb will be awesome but ot4 is the gold standard here.

hehe, glad u could get to this point. no no! u dont sound like a cult member at all lol yeah, i loooove some of their songs but the whole 23 members thing is getting to me. thats prob a common problem with nctzens but what can i say? im a simple girl with a limit to how many korean boys i can give my money to. atm im just trying to get into ateez and finish memorising enhypen's faces. also kard is kinda sucking me into their fandom atm, as well as eric name lol. ah what can you do? ooh thats good!

hehe i love it too! its exactly like online penpals, that was rlly well put. aww ty! hmm im okay, recovering from a bad case of rsv so thats fun. im doing okay mentally, starting therapy soon (after having to convince my mother that its not just smth i can brush off). physically i wont go into, basically i should be doing stretches to help but they dont completely fix it so my lazy ass doesnt do them, plus i got told recently im going to be stuck with this condition for the rest of my life so thats fun! ah, before you type smth dw abt me ill be fine. the weather atm is cloudy but warm, its been raining on and off today which is good for the garden. uhh i just finished reading sunburnt veils and im in the middle of prom theory which is rlly good. ummm ive got a concert tonight? that i may or may not be able to sing in (bc of the whole rsv thingo) and uhhhh idk. my dog is cute? im drinking tea rn? ive got a school dance coming up?

wbu? hows ur day going, how are you? whats the weather like on ur end? done anything interesting lately? found smth that makes you rlly happy? just any random thing youve been dying to tell someone?

no no! dont apologise, i love these exchanges. i think im happy to continue them for a long time :) on the other hand, if you get tired of them, feel free to just not answer at any time. goodness gracious this was a long ask haha hope it isnt too annoying

<3 w.a. 🐺

sorry it took me a bit to reply, i was fixing my theme ;n;

yeah, i figured it was because of the roles too. my friends and i still get taken aback when 3rd gen idols are the same age as 4th gen ones. in my head it doesn't add up sometimes. PLS THE RANT AT QUORA SKJDK tbh tho it's just going to be normalized as the years pass? esp that the boys are growing older and the amount of explicit fics will just increase. i might have to start blocking tags.

i had to look up the previous ask to remember what we were talking about xd i hope the events in champagne problems never happens to anyone. realistically, it probably happens a lot. damn i really won't wish that pain on anyone. dragging your brother into being a stay i whEEZED JFKSA additional noeasy music enthusiast o.o and ALL I CAN SAY WITH YOU GUSHING ABT FELIX IS AHA WHIPPEEEED OML can't blame you tho, i also want to hear felix sing more in other shades (if that makes sense HAHA) i really hope they'll do the role exchange in the next comeback :( or like in the near future bc i know they can do it :( the day i hear seungmin rapping it i will respectfully pass away. minho was given more lines this comeback thank fUCK i could rmb my irl being vocal abt her frustration. i don't get why minho barely has center time/lines in title tracks??? like the line distribution in the past eras just made me ???? if seventeen can balance lines with 13 members why cant a group of 8 do the same? moving on. i haven't watched the stray kids show simply bc i don't want to cry HAJS but i've seen clips. imagine if skz debuted without minho and felix?!?!? i rmb another irl catching bias feels towards changbin bc of the masked singer only to find out that the man's a rapper. i love how skz's vocals were highlighted this comeback :c there were a lot of mellow tracks! i find it cute when chan sings/raps bc it gets kinda obvious that he's a foreigner? the accent (im not even sure if it's the accent) it just shows. "putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised." CORRECT.

abt the twisted au o.O i'll inquire my irl if she wants to write it or not. if she doesn't want to, i'll do it. i miss writing twisted aus <3___<3 and i also miss going to the beach with my friends :' ) but it's starting to get cold here and i don't think i'll be able to enjoy the beach as much as i would if i went beaching in the summer. so maybe next summer? gone away really has an sm-ballad vibe. the thing about skz being a self-producing group, their songs don't sound like typical jype songs? and i just appreciate that bc in all honesty im not a fan of jyp groups at all. PLS the overthinking. i wish i could mute overthinking.

anyone who assumes kpop is just one genre obv hasn't listened to a single track. if kpop was just one genre why do i like some tracks more than the others??? oh you've only recently become a kpop stan? tbh im not a fan of the bright songs of bts either. i liked their older ones *chefs kiss* really matched high school vibes. yg has good artists and they're just wasting the talent ~.~ that strategy they have will get tiring eventually. people will stop waiting on blackpink and move on to newer more active groups ://

HAHAHAH yeah the 23 members is pretty overwhelming! it was the reason i didn't bother stanning before quarantine started. i don't regret stanning tho, met my ult bias in that group <3___<3 i don't really purchase albums unless i like the tracks xd ohhh getting into ateez just in time for the comeback! let me know what you think about them! i was fond of them at some point but grew out of it. good luck with memorizing enhypen! it took me a while to distinguish to people there XD i haven't checked out kard yet but chan plays their songs during lives and they're sexc hype music me likey *u*

i had to look up rsv im sorry. i'm glad you're recovering! please rest more and don't stress yourself out. bro i wish i could go to therapy too bc i have weird issues i can't justify and i need a professional to tell me what's the reason behind it. stuck with what condition btw? what happened? i'm sorry in case i just forgot. yesterday was a bit rainy for me too :(( it's not the type of rainy that makes me anxious so B) oh concert! good luck and i hope you'll be able to sing but i also don't think it's best for you rn :c what's your dog's breed? and yes i just finished drinking tea too. AAAAA i miss school dances :(( the last one i was supposed to have was cancelled bc of covid.

i was less productive today and i'm teetering between being mentally stable and becoming a hermit again. i'm anxious with a lot of things atm so like : D not the best state. today it was a bit sunny but not hot hot which was nice. i changed my theme today bc i couldn't wait for sept. 1st. and no i haven't found anything that makes me happy HAHAHA shit like that's hard to identify. don't have anything to say too, i'm just thinking about why i'm procrastinating too much atm T_T and i'm listening to this rap song atm and one of the rappers sounded like han.

it isn't annoying! i enjoy the long exchanges but i do admit it takes me awhile to type down a reply. so if i get more busy, it'll prolly take a bit longer for me to reply.

[suyunsgf]

ooo! for the kpop ask. exo svt izone itzy and txt 👀 (i know youve said you arent really into txt but im still curious about your fav songs)

okay homework crunch time is over i can answer this now!

EXO

Fan or not? Yes but only for the music idk the dudes out side of like stuff everyone knows

How long ive been a fan? uuuhhhh since like 2017 when i started listening to kpop a lot?? they were one of the first groups i listened to a lot of

The first song i heard by them? Call me baby! one of my highschool friends played it at a party and i was like *Looking emoji*

My fave song as of now? oh uuuuuhhhh they have so many songs... yknow what? i want to say jekyll i LOVE jekyll

The first mv i saw? probably also call me baby cause i wanted to hear it after my friend played it at the party lol

My fave mv as of now? hmmmm

Who my bias is? if you had asked me this like 2 years ago i wouldve said chanyeol based on vibes alone but now im like idk them well enough to care. That being said ksoo seems like a cool dude

SVT

Fan or not? BIG FAN! I am a carat first and a person second

How long Ive been a fan? Since just before teen, age so late 2017 again when i first started listening to kpop a lot

the first song i heard by them? boom boom or Q&A but im inclined to say boom boom

My fave song as of now? Thanks she has a very special spot in my heart

The first mv i saw? Q&A for sure

My fave mv as of now? oh my? or callx3

Who my bias is? HAO MY BELOVED!!!! <3!!! hes been my number one from day one <3

IZONE

Fan or not? Again just for the music idk the girlies like that

How long ive been a fan? since debut la vie en rose is that bitch <3

First song i heard? la vie en rose <3

My fave song as of now? HIGHLIGHT

The first mv i saw? la vie en rose lol

My fave as of now? violeta or secret story of the swan theyre both so good

Who my bias is? i dont even know all their names <3

ITZY

Fan or not? yeah im a fan the girls are fun

How long ive been a fan? Since debut <3

The first song i heard by them? dalla dalla

My fave song as of now? Icy????????

The first mv i saw? you’ll never guess this.... dalla dalla

My fave mv as of now? wannabe

Who my bias is? Chaeryeong!! i love her so much!!

TXT

Fan or not? Very very casually theyre hit or miss for me and i only care about my son <3 but also i appreciate all of them for doing their thing

How long ive been a fan? my fanness is complicated but i first payed attention to them for realsies was just after their first cb whatever that album is called and i refuse to type out the tt even tho ive already used more letters ahfahlkfjfjajajd (i ended up looking them up the album is the dream chapter magic)

The first song i heard from them? Crown probably? but it was just hey ill check out these kids people are talking about then i kinda didnt care

My fave song as of now? oh jeez ummm New Rules will always be one of my faves but since you said you wanted to see my faves ill say i also really like cant we just leave the monster alive?, we lost the summer, blue hour, eternally and like rest of the dream chapter magic tbh shes really fun also all their tts are good

The first mv i saw? crown

My Fave mv as of now? yknow? i dont really watch their mvs hmmmm i think cant you see me is pretty cool

Who my bias is? Taehyun my son <3!!!!!!!!!

[tklpilled]

I don't know anything about tma however this is an anon specifically for you to rant about it just because PS you are a pretty cool person ngl hope u r having a good day <3

ANON I’D DIE FOR YOU (also no u)

so for just. regular stuff. theres a compilation of jmart moments and its a fucking hour long,,,,,,,,,, and i listened to all of it and hearing them fall in love again was so :( /pos i love them so much,, they’re one of my favourite ships of all time theyre so. and also!! the parallels of mag183 with jon saying “if you’re sure” and martin saying “i’m sure i love you” and then mag200 with martin saying “are you sure about this?” and jon saying “no, but i love you” goodbye i am In Pain

also the!! the “run away with me scene” like jon really found out that it was possible and just went cool! gotta go tell martin! like just admit that ur in love with him and want to live a nice happy life with him

and i also. i know im gonna get bullied for this if azira sees this </3 but i miss nikola tbh :( i know she was A Villain who Skinned People and Stole Their Body Parts and thats not good but also,, idk s3 was so painful for me but it also gives me so much nostalgia honestly and s3 is probably my favourite season so. anyway nikola orsinov my beloved (derogatory)

and also some tk stuff bc i cant help myself

sasha james i adore u. she is the Designated Ler of the og archive staff bc i said so <3 also! tim was friends with jon in research. so im just saying. he taught sasha and martin how to wreck jon i do not make the rules (when they first heard him laugh like that they all fell a little more in love with him. polyarchives rights)

[formulazero]

You've created a racing team last week so how about a another team but in a non motor-sport of your choice. Which driver would be in your team? Which sport would you choose? Who would be captain (if it's a team sport)? Who would be the coach?

hello fe anon!!

so a little while back i assigned the f1 2020 grid seats/boats/etc. as if they were a crew and i am just going to do that again but for the fe 2021 grid

this got mad long! it will be below the cut.

i’m not gonna limit myself to just 8s & other sweep boats bc thats boring as fuck SO:

our first boat is gonna be the eight though and that would be: nyck cox, sam stroke, oliver turvey 7seat, nico 6seat, edo 5seat, tom 4seat, max 3seat, andre 2seat, jev bow. this is a bit of a weird lineup, but hear me out. nyck is coxing because hes pocket sized. sorry nyck. i also think he would be good at it, though!! he’s loud but very calm & i think he’d be a good steady hand to steer and run the crew. sam would be an excellent stroke– consistent, strong, That Bitch– and oli turvey– also consistent & strong & that bitch– would round out that pair very well. think the two of them together are pretty smart & would be able to respond to nyck’s direction very well. nico, edo, tom, & max are all pretty strong and consistent they just have middle of the 8 vibes idk what to tell u. very strongly believe that nico and tom are port & edo and max are starboard. its the vibes. our bow pair is ofc jeandre because they work very well together & they have bow pair energy. really its just vibes but it makes sense trust me

our second boat would be a quad with antonio bow, robin 2seat, alex lynn 3seat, and mitch stroke. feel like mitch is pretty consistent & steady, & antonio is generally pretty aware of his surroundings & good at steering/leading his crew/whatever. think robin would be an EXCELLENT seat pair w/ antonio & the same for alex w/ mitch. overall, a pretty synched up, fast boat! they would 100% be so annoying off the water though like could you IMAGINE. these are the bitches that put a hammock up in the trailer and somehow you’re both jealous that you didnt think of it sooner and annoyed because you can’t put your shit in the trailer with how low they tied it

our third boat is a séb (bow) and oliver rowland (stroke) double because i think it would be fun and also its very perfect for the two of them

our fourth boat is gonna be the novice four of nick stroke, jake 2seat, norman 3seat, and sergio in bow, coxed by alexander sims. theyre strong but a mess. don’t worry, they’ll get the hang of it! they’re in good hands w/ alexander, he’s calm and knows what he’s doing. 

our fifth boat is a double (because fuck pairs all my homies hate pairs. also doubles my beloved <3) of stoffel (stroke) and pascal (bow). its a weird pairing, but it makes sense. stof is consistent & determined, & pascal is really dynamic & smart. theyd work well together, i think!

our coaches are the audi boys! rene’s head coach, he makes sure the novices don’t drown & makes sure shit is running. lucas is the asshole coach that knows a lot about what he’s talking about and is super helpful but also you’re scared of him and you don’t want him to pay attention to you on test piece days. and yes, daniel is here too, because i miss him. daniel is the coach that used to row for the team but got too old and doesn’t have anything better to do so he’s kinda one of the boys except he’s driving the launch now

anyway thats a super long breakdown but i stand by it <3