#whom he never loved but HETERONORMATIVITY got him

[bat-the-misfit]

nowadays Juliana has finally married Clara and they have one dog and one cat. Clara had a son from her first marriage but he's already an adult so Juliana doesn't really see him around. it's pretty much only them and their pets.

i can see Ju working at some business taking care of data and lots of papers (she's def the type who likes organizing the business' finances and this kind of stuff). meanwhile Clara def gives me hairdresser vibes. that's the only career i see her following lol.

Tadeu definitely works in some technology company in the middle of São Paulo, has two teen/tween kids and is probably fatter than he could never get when he was young which is a miracle to him.

[aroaceconfessions]

I still regret that I ruined a friendship because I let heteronormativity and allonormativity get to me. I had this guy friend in middle school whom I really enjoy talking to and hanging out with. But then everyone started saying that I have a crush on him or we're having a crush on each other and we should just date—because we were clearly 'too intimate' to be just friends, or, I quote: "it's abnormal to be THAT close if you're just friends". We didn't even like, do physical contact or even sit in close proximity to each other, mind you. we just be talking about mundane things and laughing about dumb shits—which I tried to ignore to my best ability and explain that no, we are friends, and that's that.

But then it spreads like wildfire and literally everyone that I came to contact with are saying that about him and me—and by everyone, I mean EVERYONE: all the kids in class, kids from other classes, hell even the teachers were saying that (a teacher even made a remark about marrying us off if we keep it up). It makes me feel sick to my stomach and uncomfortable as hell; not because I hate him, but because people are saying things that not only isn't true, but also isn't what I want. And also I hate that everyone feels like they get a say about a relationship that doesn't involve them.

Eventually I couldn't take the sheer amount and intensity of that meddling crowds anymore because I'd get that literally every single time I interact with him so I just... Stopped talking to him—which was very shitty of me no matter what. I shouldn't have given up on our friendship and thrown him away and it's really not his fault and I regret that till today. But I was 13 at the time, and people shouldn't have made it so unbearable for me to even talk to my friend—which wasn't an excuse, but my 13 years old self really couldn't take it anymore and couldn't see another way out at the time and thus made a poor decision which I regret until now, over a decade later.

The whole thing left a lasting effect on me in many ways; I feel reluctant to interact with guys because I can't deal with THAT again, and also it made me overthink and overanalyze every single friendship I've had ever since because really, I feel the exact same way towards every single one of my friends as I did towards him—which got me thinking; am I actually in love with them?? Like?? Romantically?? Because that's what everyone said when I was with him so if I feel the same way with my other friends, does that mean I'm in love with them too??—which turns out I wasn't. Never was and I'm still not. I'm just aroace.

I couldn't imagine how much it hurt him—how much I hurt him. Maybe he's still hurt about that even now, I don't know. I have to live with the fact that I hurt someone I hold dear because I let other people's words get to me, and I don't think I could ever make up for that but I swore to myself to never let that happen again.

I wish I was strong enough to protect my relationship and stand by those who actually matter to me, and let the voices that don't matter be nothing but background noise.

Sorry that ended up being so long. Anyways, all in all it was an excruciating experience. Zero star. 0/10—not recommended. And I still regret ruining a good friendship because I let societal views and expectations on relationships get to me. I sincerely hope nobody else had to went through anything like that because it was complete and utter hell.

[jon-astronaut]

Stranger Things Social Media AU - But I Knew You - (Ronance & Stonathan) - Chapter 6

Masterlist

Previous Chapter

Next Chapter

Nancy’s Instagram Post

Steve’s POV

Steve’s Instagram Post

Robin’s POV

“Tonight we are going with a classic.” Robin said as she finally showed the film on the computer to Steve. 

“Great! I wanted to watch this for like years.” Steve said taking his hand out of his eyes. 

“You never watched Back to the Future!?” Robin basically shouted and smacked Steve. Good thing Steve’s roommate was out. 

“You know how uncultured I am.” Steve replied with a grin. “If you want you can have film nights with your new cultured friends.” He added.

Robin groaned internally. This is where it got confusing for her. She didn’t know if Steve was being like this, because he was jealous Robin was finding new friends, or because he was acting out because her new friends were Nancy but also Jonathan both of whom Steve had a complicated history with, or because he was jealous that Robin was hanging with Nancy and not him. Sure, Steve denied that he still had feelings for Nancy but when it came to feelings denial was the number one trend. 

“If you want you can always join me and Nancy when we are hanging.” Robin said trying to fin an answer to her questions. “It’s okay if you want to see Nancy.” She added.

“I don’t-I mean of course I want to see her.” Steve said stumbling over his words. Great, it’s the worst option for everyone Robin thought. “But not in the way you think, as a friend. I want to see her as a friend.” He continued panic in his voice. 

Once again, denial. To be honest, even though she didn’t want to admit this, Robin didn’t only care about Steve’s feelings because she was such a good friend. She also cared because she desperately needed to know if Steve still liked, or maybe even loved, Nancy so that she could hold herself back. She liked hanging with Nancy and she saw Nancy as a friend but when Nancy listened to her ramblings with so much attention another part of her heart acted up. 

Not that she would ever have a chance with Nancy Wheeler, even if Steve was out of the picture. Nancy, was just so picture perfect so much different than Robin. And as much as Robin didn’t want to think of her in a heteronormative view, she was pretty sure Nancy was straight. She was probably going to find a nice guy, who would be smart enough that Nancy would like and rich enough that her parents would like in university and marry him after.

“You can tell me, I won’t judge you dingus.” Robin said with a soft smile, trying to hide her own worries.

“I’m telling you Robs.” Steve said and sighed. “I don’t have any romantic feelings for her. I swear on my car.” He continued with a small smile in the end. 

Robin practically beamed and almost jumped up from excitement which earned her a scowl from Steve but she knew how to dodge any questions from him. 

“So, we can finally watch our movie!” She said smiling brightly as she pressed play. 

Not that she would ever have a chance with Nancy Wheeler, but at least she didn’t feel guilty in her mind when she daydreamed about Wheeler. 

Jonathan’s POV

[talenlee]

The Unhinged Performative Heteronormativity of Shikimori's Not Just A Cutie

Hey boy. Does your girl:

Change her gender presentation mid-volleyball match?

Demonstrate the kind of expertise in dire circumstances from a martial arts superhero story?

Deliberately change her gender presentation to become a perfect girl as represented in Shoujou Manga?

Take her rivals for your affection out on day dates where she gives her gifts and wins her prizes?

Flirt with your mom?

Then she’s not your girl. She’s Shikimori from Shikimori’s Not Just A Cutie and I’ve just been stewing about how unhinged that series is.

Spoilers ahead!

When I wrote about Shikimori’s Not Just A Cutie, it is an article that I think, very reasonably got away from me. I liked the series, despite being animated candy floss, with all the structural integrity and challenging depth that implies. It was a fun show, it was very sweet, and it passed the time pleasantly. When it wanted to be what it was – a merchandisable set of animated gifs that could induce someone like me to buy some anime tat like a statue or something – it was really good, and it didn’t try to be more than that.

Yet at the same time, reflecting back on it, after an article in which I tried, very seriously, to only describe the way the anime was in an even way, I feel like I just walked out of a challenging writing assignment, got home after all the editorial review and publishing was done, and only then realise I somehow neglected to write that the entire anime was actually written by an elephant. An overview of the series that digs into the story structure and its invocations all serves to flirt on past just describing things in the series that happened.

I can’t say that Shikimori’s Not Just A Cutie is a queer media series. All the signifiers and cultural indicators you’d use, the words people would use to describe it, they’re pointedly absent. At the same time, there’s nothing you’d see as disabusing those notions, and that means everything about the queerness of this series has to be seen entirely contextually. And when you do that, there are three things in Shikimori’s Not Just A Cutie that take the assumption of neutral, default heterosexuality and ask, simply put: Really?

First of all, Shikimori flirts with girls to get what she wants. It’s a minor thing but it’s really interesting – it’s not even dwelled on. In the anime, the most notable example of it is that when she is trying to get into the same group as Izumi for a lottery, she flirts with the girl who won that lottery ticket, who is overwhelmed by it, and gives her the ticket.

This isn’t a big deal but it’s done so immediately and so easily that it kind of shocks the senses. Like you don’t make a bit-part gag out of a girl being overwhelmed by how hot Shikimori is unless that’s a thing that seems very normal and sensible for everyone around them. Like how well can this work? Oh it works really well. Why did she think to do that? Oh because she knew it would work really well.

The next event is the story of Kamiya. Izumi, Shikimori’s gormless wet mouse of a boyfriend, reveals that he spent time with a girl called Kamiya, and hung out with her and hadn’t done so recently. In part, he hasn’t been hanging around her because he’s been instead focusing on spending time with his girlfriend whom he likes so much. But then he winds up getting back into Kamiya’s orbit, briefly, and she reveals boiling feelings that have finally come to a head, by pinning him to a bookshelf and then demanding he answer —

What’s Shikimori like as a girlfriend?

Now I think that’s a pretty funny approach when you’ve got someone pinned to something, but y’know what, Izumi is a weenus, maybe that’s the best way Kamiya can learn about this. Maybe she’s focusing on why Shikimori and not her, when she was also interested (and never made a move). And this sets us up a love triangle! It’s an obviously weird love triangle with a foregone conclusion because this anime isn’t titled Shikimori’s Boyfriend Can Make A Choice. When the story spirals out though, the conclusion it’s shooting towards isn’t Shikimori doing a badass ‘step off binch’ gesture and instead, the pink-haired girl hugs her and thanks her for her feelings, thanks her for feeling like that and apologises for not helping her with her emotional needs.

Which is…

Uh

Odd?

Okay so that’s… an oddly intimate way to approach that, right? Well, Kamiya’s story beat is over, this character has been introduced, has done her thing, and now we see how Shikimori would handle that kind of intrusion on her own intimacy. Good work, probably means that Kamiya as a character is done, right, we don’t need to see her again because she wasn’t close with the group to star with and her romantic interest in Izumi is going nowhere.

Wait why is she in the next episode?

The next episode is literally Shikimori taking Kamiya on a date. They go out to the mall together, they have fun, they hang out, Shikimori does the princely thing and wins her a prize from a game she likes, they discuss who’s the seme and who’s the uke — yeah I said that — and then they do what girls always do which is find another pair of girls to play basketball with. They have a pick-up game with another pair of needlessly cool looking characters.

Izumi is not part of the episode. He’s not even mentioned by my memory. This is Shikimori taking the girl who wanted to date her boyfriend out, and treating her in… a way. If you saw this agnostically, it’s prety clearly they’re going on a date, but because you know this is media that isn’t pointedly trying to be queer media, the assumption is ‘surely that’s not the case.’

None of this is to say that Shikimori’s a series full of queer energy and what not. When I wrote about it at first I described the way that the series takes the form of queer media while also avoiding anything of that queerness. That is, without the default asserted demand of heterosexuality, this is a poly show about a bisexual girl. The only reason it’s obviously not is because we do live in a world where that default is assumed and as a result, media about cool and interesting relationships just… obviously aren’t, and can dance up to the line of that space.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

[longeyelashedtragedy]

For the ask game: 3, 19, 29, 30?

3. i am most proud of "visited upon the sons." i think the quality of all my writing was questionable this year, but this fic did exactly what i wanted it to do, and it was so fun to write, once i got in the headspace, that i still miss it. it was also fun getting to write a whole "making of" post about it.

wait guys i hit post too soon LOL watch this space

19. let's see, i already said pepling and frank+daddy A...i would like to write the gross jamie x franko x christine threesome, i won't lie! i'd also love to explore more of Frank Sr's motivations for how he feels about harry 👀

29. i can't choose favorites of anything! i do love:

-But here he is kissing Rob in Rob’s car with the steering wheel on the wrong side and it doesn’t feel anything but right.  from "the prerogative to have a little fun"

-You will remember Granit Xhaka’s last night in this office, on this desk, glowing like something more than human, as much as he’d insist he was no more than a man.  Glowing like an angel—the kinds from the Bible, the ones so beautiful and terrible, the kinds whom God trusts to convey His messages.

You’d always thought of Granit as your beautiful beast, but in the end you were wrong.  You met him as a beast.  He left you as an angel.

Only a supernatural force could move on from this, and you, Mikel Arteta, with the name everyone but Granit mispronounces, are exceptional, but you are human too.  You had an angel in your office, and now there’s a darkness around the edges of the room that the overhead lights can’t dream of illuminating. from "how to stay there"

and of course--everyone knows i'll say this!!--

-

And now he’s alone.  Or is he? 

There’s a ghost somewhere in the ripped pieces on the floor, and there’s a ghost in bed with Mason.

And the ghost has a name—he’s never known before, and he’s wondered for decades now. It has the same name as the one on the Wall of Fame at Stamford Bridge.  It has the same name as the one there, ripped and thrown to the bedroom floor.  It has the same name as Dad, as it happens.  And it’s here, thinking his thoughts.  Holding his Mason tight like it loves him. from "visited upon the sons"

but also from there i like--well i like the whole fic but i also enjoy--

Mason saying “I love you, daddy,” like the wind’s been knocked out of him.

He thinks of the West Ham jersey crumpled in the bedroom.  God, why?  Why has he kept it?  Why does he talk about the bad times out in public, so openly it seems to go against some kind of survival instinct? 

Dad’s never mentioned it.  Never said son we should talk about all that. Never even said why the fuck do you bring that old shit up?  Crying for some cake again Frankie, ain't you?  Never, nothing, like he’d never told the stories, like he’d opened his mouth and no sound had come out.

He gropes behind him with the hand that’s not down the back of Mason’s joggers, finds the neck of the rosé bottle.  There’s still some left. He drinks right out of the bottle. 

“Don’t get drunk, daddy,” Mason giggles.  “You’re my manager.”

Mason, Mason, Mason.  Don’t get drunk, daddy.  You’re his manager.  Even though Jamie got drunk, Jamie and Dad and Uncle Harry and—Jamie and—

He presses his forehead to Mason’s and then kisses him and tastes his moans, sweet like wine against his lips.

30. the biggest surprise while writing actually came from writing "visited upon the sons!" i don't really follow many gender or sexuality expectations but also sort of don't advertise this in the real world--i just live my life--and i came away from writing this realizing how much i truly hate and not just hate--resent!--heteronormative societal expectations being put on me. in most of 2023 i was putting in the hard work trying to feel comfortable around "normal" people and a lot of this involved me being a part of conversations with very very typical "cishet" opinions like 'can men and women truly be FRIENDS' and 'i hate waxing and it's expensive but i gotta do it for my boyfriend!' all of which left me very "bitch, you live like this?" i realized when writing frank's memories that the extent to which he is so tired of Lads always bringing up The Ladies is very much a reflection of something i felt strongly about that i didn't even realize. and genuinely, i think realizing this helped me feel so much more comfortable in my own skin? so thank you, Fucked Up Franko <3 viva la lampardverse!

[laooneart]

The Babysitter Club

Ok so did any of you know Joe Keery was a musician? I didn't until like two weeks ago. He is not only an amazing actor but also an amazing musician, and it got me thinking that maybe Steve should include some musical talents into the fanfics? But I didn't come here to tell you to do that if you're a writer, I came to propose this AU I've been thinking of for a while now.

It's summer in Hawkins and there's nothing to do or hear on the radio, when all of the sudden people start talking about this new band that's been broadcasting their music and some song covers on the radio. It's new and everyone loves them, but the thing is, no one knows who they are since they've never revealed their names to the public. The town started calling them the "Babysitter Club" since their broadcasts start after care few and it just seemed to stick to people's minds.

Billy has heard of them obviously but has never actually listened to their music since he thinks it's not really his style, but with nothing to do and a radio in his room just gathering dust, he turns it on and starts looking though the centonizations until he lands on one that seems to be it. The song starts with a bass, followed by a guitar chord and a drum; that's when he realizes they're playing "Psycho Killer", he decides to leave it on for tonight, at a volume he can hear but is quiet enough that his father's snores won't allow the same to hear the noise and come shut the radio and him up.

A few months ago

Their freaking vocalist just quit.

What.

The.

FUCK.

Nancy tries to convince them to stay but it's decided, they found a said "better band than this clown show" and they're out. Eddie is furious and Robin is just sitting on the couch thinking of something and murmuring to herself.

"We're so screwed" Eddie said after almost bitting the head off the poor ex-vocalist.

"Well, it's not like we were getting any popular or any gigs so" Nancy said closing the door to their practice room.

"Wheeler we just lost our vocalist" Eddie bit back pinching the bridge of his nose.

"You can sing, Eddie" She crossed her arms saying this.

"Not the songs we play, I'm a metal singer not a soft rock one" He mimicked her stance and crossed his legs while leaning on a table.

"We agreed our base music would be soft rock, it's the ground level for everyone. Plus it's what everyone listens to these days. I promised that we would play a metal song, someday, but unless we start making decent money out of this it isn't happening"

"Yeah, well then there go our dreams of a band...Robin what the hell are you muttering about?" Eddie had finally had enough with Robin's muttering.

Robin looked up with glow on her face and then said with a smile neither Eddie nor Nancy had ever seen her with, it terrified them.

"I think I found our new vocalist"

"What?" They both said in unison.

"My best friend, he can sing! I heard him doing it out in the school's parking lot and he was really good!"

"Robin, that's great but would he actually want to join?" Nancy said with a small smile.

"I mean, he might've freaked out a bit when he found out I heard him. And maybe he asked me not to tell anyone but I'm sure he'll say yes!"

"No"

"Pleeeeaaaaaseeee?" Robin begged and put her hands together in a pleading manner while pouting.

"Robin, I hate singing in public, last time I did everyone laughed at me"

"Wasn't that in like first grade?"

"Yeah but-"

"Please, Steve, we need you...I need you, you know, me, your best friend? Whom you've told everything? The first person you told you weren't so much in the path of a heteronormative spectrum?"

"Do not try to manipulate me into doing this, I already said no"

"But Steve, if we don't start making money, we won't be able to pay the rent of the place we practice at, so we won't have a place to play in and our music dreams will be burned along with our reputation."

"What reputation?"

"Steve I'm serious! This is really important for me and my bandmates. If you don't wanna do it for them, at least try for me."

"...Fuck...ok fine just one try, if I hate it, I'm outta there and we won't touch the subject ever again, got it?"

"THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!"

"Um...hi, I'm Steve, Steve Harrington" he scratched the back of his neck while waving at the two people in front of him.

"Hello Steve, I'm Nancy, I'm on the keyboard" Nancy was very formal and cold but also very warm and nice.

"Eddie Munson, bass and guitar" Eddie seemed wary of Steve and looked at him up and down while leaning on the couch

"Oh, you play guitar? Electric or acoustic?" He got excited and started smiling.

"Both...but for the band electric" Eddie raised an eyebrow and relaxed a bit

"I...I play electric too" he lowered his shoulders

"Really? Hmm" Eddie seemed to start thinking of all the possibilities this could bring

"So, Steve, Robin told us you sing? We would really like to hear you if that's okay?" Nancy interrupted, smiling.

"Oh, y-yeah"

"The mic is there and you plug it in-" Robin started really happy that Steve was doing this for her and also scared because what if they don't like how Steve sings? Steve would never forgive her.

"I know how microphones work Robin"

"Since when?" she asked sarcastically with a smirk.

"Whenever you're ready" Nancy smiled warmly as she situated herself between Eddie and Robin.

"R-right" He grabbed the mic and...

And he sang, and holy shit was Robin right, this guy was amazing! He was a bit nervous, and you could kinda hear it in his voice but with a bit of practice their band was gonna make it big. He sang "Killer Queen" by Queen and he hit the notes perfectly. They started practicing imediatley.

Hiiii, did you guys like it? Idk if I should turn this into a comic or just keep it a kinda fic. Sorry if it badly written I was just too excited to share this idea and started barfing everything into the keyboard.

Also go check out Joe Keery's band! It's called "Djo"

Should I continue it? Any recommendations?

[nectar-cellar]

my favourite thing in the sims 3 is to play the Wolff household in Sunset Valley and create the perfect amount of drama

omg you troublemaker! i used to do the same with the landgraabs and altos. i live for drama and chaos.

my headcanon for thornton is that he is gay and in the closet. according to the sims wiki, "The reason that Thornton dislikes children is because of the relationship he had with his parents, with whom he never got along. It's also implied that Thornton married Morgana because he had to, not because he's in love with her." family pressures, unresolved childhood emotional trauma, the societal expectations of heteronormativity and the nuclear family unit, like there is so much material to dive into. that's why he's besties with jamie jolina, because only she knows the real him!

and then you look at morgana. she's the wife of a businessman and in the medical field herself, on paper she and thornton are the perfect power couple. she's a careerwoman, a wife, and soon she hopes to add "mother" to the list. but now she's realizing she doesn't know who she married. maybe she rushed into the marriage, but does she dare admit her mistake to herself? maybe she was in love with the idea of who thornton was, instead of the real him. maybe she was too caught up in her dream future to pay attention to the red flags in front of her.

methinks it's time for thornton to Break Free and finally live his truth, and so morgana can find her happiness too...

[astitva-iitism]

I'd like to share my story.

I was a straight guy. It was my 9th standard at my school. I was sitting on the last bench with my male best friend. Suddenly, he kissed me. I was a little shocked about what just happened. I knew that I was straight, and that I should have felt weird about it. But, it seriously didn't. I actually liked it. I started doubting myself, as to if I'm gay. I tried talking to him, but as it's a heteronormative society, he simply told me that it was merely a mistake and wouldn't indulge again in anything like that..... I had to leave my sexuality on a cliff hanger, and started my JEE preparation, as I was just 14 and couldn't figure out my sexuality yet. And focusing on my sexuality wouldn't have done any good at that time. But, as soon as I got into the college, I started dating and finally found out whom I really am into.....

.....I didn't feel safe and had to keep this as a secret. I didn't have that much courage to come out to the world. I wanted to, but just couldn't. But, I'm sure that societies like Astitva, will bring out a change in scenarios like these. And people from our community would feel safer in the near future. The world is becoming better, slowly but it sure is. And people have already begun to accept us. One might say "we don't give a damn about what others feel and say about our community", but it sure does impact us. Afterall, we all are a social animal.....

Happy Pride Month, everyone. ❤️🏳️‍🌈

The Pride Month sure did end today, but our pride must never end! ❤️

- Anonymous

Astitva applauds you, dear fellow, for showing courage, in not just sharing your story with others but to find acceptance within yourself. We hope your story inspires and empowers others who face similar dilemmas. We're grateful that we were able to create a safe space where you felt comfortable enough to share your story.

Astitva's work has only begun, and all we hope for is to help and empower more and more members of the community to accept and love themselves.

Happy Everlasting PRIDE 🏳️‍🌈

[noahcontrol]

Little Freak - a detailed analysis

Hey there! I wanted to talk about Little Freak by Harry Styles. I’m going to start by saying that I will be analyzing this song from the perspective of being gender-neutral/trans. As a trans man myself, I came across many lyrics that resonated with me, and I’d like to throw light in that specific direction. I also believe that this song is the continuation of ‘SHE’. 

1. ‘little freak’ - I think he is conversing with his feminine side. Freak is used as a slur for the LGBTQ+ community a lot, I think it could mean that Harry saw his feminine side as a freak/abomination. He was scared to look into it and think about it. 

2. ‘Jezebel’ - Jezebel, the wife of King Ahab in the Hebrew Book of Kings, has long had a bad girl reputation. According to the Bible, she provoked a conflict by defying the great prophets Elijah and Elisha. 

Jezebel was a woman who defied great prophets, similar to what Christians say about the LGBTQ+ community, that we defy what God made our bodies for. Harry is calling his feminine side that name because he was scared to think he could (maybe?) be trans, thought of him being that way scares him.

3. 'stay green a little while' - immature in age or judgment; untrained; inexperienced; gullible; easily fooled. Green means immaturity and being gullible, which makes sense in this perspective. People in the community tend to have internalized homophobia due to the society being heteronormative and normalizing homophobia, so people when young tend to learn and pick this up, thinking being heterosexual/cisgender is only the correct way of living. 

We are already aware that Harry has been forced into the closet for years and has been forced to play the "Lady's man" narrative, but recently Harry has been trying to be more open about his gender identity, has been singing about it and leaving signals for all of us to know. 

*also something to note, Harry has been changing from Blue-Green to Red-Blue, Red psychologically signifies strength, power, courage proving that he is not the gullible person anymore and has started to understand and embrace who he is.*

4.'you bring blue lights to dreams' - Blue calls to mind feelings of calmness or serenity. It is often described as peaceful, tranquil, secure, and orderly. Blue is often seen as a sign of stability and reliability. 

She, Harry's feminine side makes him stable in who he is, and who he can become. It means that She is the one who keeps him true to himself, to who he is. 

5.'starry haze, crystal ball, somehow you’ve become some paranoia' - Haze means being unable to see things clearly, prevents you from seeing things from afar (future), he is uncertain of his future self, who She might be. 

Crystal balls have been used for fortune-telling and clairvoyance since the first century. I think this entire line means his future is hazy and he doesn't know what it entails for him but he wants to know whether She'll be happier than She is today.

Harry is telling his feminine side that she follows him around, and never leaves him alone, he is constantly thinking about her. This takes us back to She - Fine Line.

"She lives in daydreams with me She's the first one that I see"

She is always in his head with him, in his bed, everywhere he goes, She is lurking with him. 

6. 'wet dream just dangling' - well this is self-explanatory but I'll explain it in brief. Harry is so in love with the idea of Her that it makes him <you get it> and he wakes up to him being wet. 

7. 'but your gift is wasted on me' - this line states that She has the talent for songwriting. She writes while he sings those words, he gets the recognition, he gets the gift. 

8. 'I was thinking about who you are' - Same line as She, he is wondering whom She is, and exploring his gender identity. 

9. 'your delicate point of view' - Harry sees Her as timid, ethereal and benign. 

10.'did you dress up for Halloween? I spilled beer on your friend, I’m not sorry' - H dressed up for Harryween, he got to express Her and become her first time in the eyes of the public. Halloween could also be a metaphor for being someone else for a day, but in his case, he is becoming more like himself (Her). 

11. track suit and a ponytail, you hide the body, all that yoga gave you' - we have seen him wearing these many a times in his early eras. 

We often see Harry wearing pants and coats to hide his body, maybe it is due to dysphoria, but I can't say for certain. I feel like She is telling him these, she is basically telling him that "you hide me, the way you built yourself, you hide away how you feel about me in public".

12.'red wine and a ginger ale but you would make fun of me for sure' - I think this basically means he tends to drink a lot to forget about her but She ends up being too feminine. 

13.'I disrespected you, jumped in feet first and I landed too hard, a broken ankle, karma rules' - H disrecpected his feminine side for a long time, trying to ignore and pretend She doesn't exist, but she haunted him everywhere he went, and hence become a paranoia. Karma rules as even though he tried to ignore her, he couldn't cause��She is a part of him.

14.'you never saw my birthmark' - Birthmarks are an area of pigmented or raised skin that can be present at birth or appear shortly afterward. Birthmark is metaphorical here to Harry's transness, meaning he was born this way, and that She is a part of him and it can never change, even if he tried to ignore and pretend She doesn't exist, there is no use because She is him.

Conclusion: Little Freak is about Harry feeling uncomfortable about his gender, ignoring her due to heternormativity, coming to love her and accept her and figure her out. I am nothing but proud of Harry, he has come a long way, and not everybody is able to do it so bravely as he does and I love him for that. 

[astudyinfreewill]

i’ve been remiss in liveblogging my catching-up-with-spn thoughts but man scoobynatural really did hit like a brick to the face. it was just. So Much Episode

dean quoting elsa from frozen and telling sam to “let it go”, which is similar to referencing dory in s12 and generally being into cartoons because he never got to have a childhood except elsa is very obviously a disney princess... imagine season 1 dean??? you couldn’t. they’d give the reference to sam and have dean say something like dUdE cOulD yOu bE MoRe GaY??? anyway post-charlie dean we love you

the dean cave!!!!!! listen. listen. listen. don’t talk to me about dean’s nesting. don’t talk to me about he’s constantly trying to make the bunker a home for himself and his loved ones (which is fundamentally at odds with sam viewing it as a place of work, which is also why dean is so unsettled with the hunters using it as a homebase in s14 bc hey that’s his home!! :/ ). but DO talk to me about how there are two la-Z-boy recliners but we know sam’s never seen the deancave before so. who’s the other chair for. who’s the other chair FOR. gee i wonder if this has anything to do with dean and cas having movie date nights. don’t (or do) talk to me about dean building a home and cas being the first person he wants to share it with!!!!!!!!

the running joke about dean loving scooby doo which the show plays for laughs bc they rely on jensen to make it funny but is actually monumentally sad. “wherever dad dragged us there was always a tv”. dean raised sam but who raised dean?? no one. that’s who. he got stuck watching scooby doo and letting tv be his parent because no one else was around to do it. watching cartoons was probably the closest he could feel to being an actual child. john winchester die by my blade

right so. aside from the whole dean striking out with daphne as a last ditch attempt at performing heteronormativity, many people have already discussed the triangulation of desire happening here with dean-daphne-fred much more in-depth than i could, so i’m not gonna get into it but i just. dean... dean you’re so transparent. literally see-through. why was that whole car-racing scene so filled with homoerotic tension à la top gun?? i know why and you know why we all know why. also there’s THIS which is driving me absolutely off my gourd:

yeah, dean. tell us more about fred’s perfect hair, his can-do attitude, and his stupid ascot (which dean ends up wearing HIMSELF by the end of the attitude!!! love that triangulation!! love that sublimation of desire!! love that inherently bisexual conundrum of do i want to be him or be with him!!! delicious!!! (also worth noting, dean’s disparaging comments towards fred can be paralleled to velma’s disparaging comments towards sam... whom she ends up kissing at the end of the episode. just saying)

wonderful. i once led armies and now i’m paired with a scruffy philistine and a talking dog. this has nothing to do with dean i just love cas very much and he was golden in the episode. mans came back from syria where he got married to the djinn quinn as part of an elaborate scam. immediately goes down to the deancave further proving that he knows where it is when even sam who lives in the bunker didn’t. they are NESTING your honour!! also dean did compare cas to scooby which is. well i don’t know what it is except for dean’s constant reframing of cas as the most endearing/dorky creature regardless of how accurate it is(n’t).

“that was the coolest thing that’s ever happened to me. and that includes the cartwright twins.” followed by cas immediately staring at him and asking “what did you do with the cartwright twins.” and dean getting flustered and stammering while he makes a hasty exit. okay. maybe don’t bring up your past sexual escapades in front of your current love interest then!!!

just! the ending with tfw working together on solving the case!! i love them very much!! wholesome content!! 

“is that an ascot?” (beat) (strokes ascot sensually) “yes.” what IS this!!!! what am i WATCHING!!! you turn into your object of desire because it’s easier than admitting your desire to yourself when you’ve been so doggedly (ha) pursuing what you’re supposed to socially acceptably desire!!!

“dean. you’re not a talking dog.” just. the voice of a man who is completely exasperated and rethinking his decision to defy heaven for this particular human. first the cartwright twins and now this?? (and yet, cas... why did you make the book you were working on a romance book. why did the killer stuffed dinosaur have to be in love. supernatural is A Show with Characters)

but also just something about. dean having aggressive homoerotic tension with fred and then wearing the ascot himself. dean comparing cas to scooby the talking dog and then acting like scooby himself. you turn yourself into the object of desire so you never have to actualize that desire outside yourself i know the rituals are intricate i KNOW it--

[seattlesea]

✨My (maybe) Unpopular Heroes of Olympus Opinions✨

(maybe part one??? idk)

-I don’t really ship any of the main canon ships in HoO. None of them had any chemistry and most of them are either pedophilic, forced and rushed, or toxic in some way

-Most of the characters that were shoved into relationships (Leo, Nico, and Hazel especially) really did not need a love interest to complete their character arcs and their relationships ended up boring and flat cause Riordan just wanted everyone to have a love interest and it never went deeper than the skin

-Piper took advantage over Jason’s amnesiac state and manipulated him. She really went ‘But what if he has a girlfriend he can’t remember 👉👈 it would be wrong to start a relationship with him while he still has amnesia 👉👈 and cause it was based off lies and fake memories 👉👈 lmao imma just jump all over him and make him fall for me while he’s still amnesiac 🤪’ as if that’s not taking advantage over someone’s mental state

-And then she blamed her relationship being forced on Aphrodite and Hera saying they ‘forced her into a relationship’ and ‘arranged their relationship’ even though Aphrodite never said anything about or did anything to them and Hera gave Piper fake memories of them being a couple but it was Piper’s conscious choice to act out on those memories she knew were fake and her relationship was in no way influenced by anyone (especially Hera and Aphrodite) other than herself

-Shelper and Solangelo were way too rushed and forced (inside and outside of the books) and were only added for publicity, plus it seems like most of the fandom only like them cause they’re LGBTQ+ ships

-I hate Pipeyna and Pipabeth. My girls (especially Reyna) deserve better than some manipulative little girl who went ‘we were friends? no weren’t ❤️’

-The fandom portrays the characters really inaccurately (tweaking them a bit for humor is fine, but changing their entire personality is a different thing)

-The movies actually aren’t that bad when not compared to the books (I mean, you gotta admit- it’s pretty good effects for 2010)

-And speaking of the movies, they did a better job at portraying Thalia and Annabeth’s relationship in one movie than Riordan did in 5+ books

-Speaking of which, Riordan wrote pretty much every platonic friendship that weren’t Thalia/Nico and Reyna horribly and most of them shouldn’t have been friends and wasted all the potential for the good friendships

-Calypso should’ve joined the Hunters, not Reyna

-Annabeth and Piper are horrible friends lmao (separately and together)

-Silena is a hero and deserves redemption, but Luke doesn’t despite most of the fandom agreeing he does (he was a pedophile y’all)

-The fandom over-exaggerated the Tartarus fall, it wasn’t really that bad tbh

-Reyna is stronger and a better leader than Annabeth

-Annabeth’s intelligence is more tell than show (and quite a few characters including Leo, Reyna, and Octavian have shown more intelligence than her)

-Riordan over-glorifies and overpowers Percy way too much. Just cause he’s the main character doesn’t mean he has to be the best of the best after barely 8 months of training (four years at CHB only in the summers is 8 months total)

-Speaking of which, Jason can beat Percy (8 months versus Jason’s twelve years) and so can Annabeth, Reyna, Thalia, Hylla, Luke, Hazel and maybe Frank and Nico. Percy’s skill is overrated and unrealistic

-And I feel like most of the fandom knows that Jason can beat Percy but just doesn’t want to admit it cause they like Percy more

-Same thing with the Greeks and Romans- the majority know the Romans are stronger and can easily beat the Greeks but they don’t want to believe it cause they favor the Greeks more

-Percy and Annabeth shouldn’t have been part of the Seven, they already had their chance to shine. Riordan should’ve brought minor characters into light instead

-And Piper shouldn’t have been part of the Seven either. Riordan really expects me to believe that she’s stronger, more powerful, and a greater/better hero and deserved to be part of the Seven more than Reyna, Nico, Clarisse, Thalia, etc.?

-Riordan’s women line-up of Reyna, Annabeth, Hazel, and Piper was really cheap and boring (Avengers: Endgame women line-up who?)

-Percy (in HoO) and Piper are easily some of the worst, most underdeveloped characters Riordan has ever written

-Annabeth got really bland and weak in HoO and couldn’t do shit for herself without others (especially newbies) having to help and/or save her. She pretty much became exclusively Percy fangirl

-As much as I like them, Frank and Hazel don’t have what it takes to be Praetors and Reyna and Jason should’ve stayed as them

-Jason’s whole ‘am I more Greek or Roman’ arc was dumb af

-Riordan’s bias towards the Romans is also dumb af (the Romans could beat the Greeks in an instant)

-Jeyna is and always will be 1000x better than Jiper

-Hazel is the most powerful demigod (way more than Percy and even Jason)

-My hot take on who should’ve been the Seven: Reyna, Nico, Thalia, Frank, Hazel, Leo, and Clovis (son of the god of sleep puts Gaea back to sleep who?)

-Riordan confirming Piper bi was a cheap move to make her more likable. It didn’t even make any sense. A character is confirmed LGBT only after they become a minor character despite being a main character before and kisses some random unnamed girl only three months after her ex-boyfriend whom she still loved dies??? girl what??? Kinda obvious it was just for publicity. Like- Riordan, honey, the LGBTQ+ community is not a circus you can plop your characters into to make them more entertaining❤️

-The PJ series as a whole isn’t that creative. It’s legit just a copy of exactly what past mythological figures have already done and a bunch of character tropes and clichés shoved into one book

-And in general it’s not even that well-written (like HP, it’s over-exaggerated a lot)

-All of the romantic relationships and platonic friendships are extremely unrealistic. Like they never argue/fight, disagree, etc. (then grow stronger from those fights) at all??? Even if they’re complete opposites???

-Reyna is the best-written character in the whole series and a queen she deserved better and y’all sit on her too much

-Theyna is ✨amazing✨ their dynamic and chemistry was just *mwah Pansexual Muslim blessings to you* and people are allowed to ship them even though they’re Hunters and swore off love

-Rachel doesn’t deserve all the hate she gets. Y’all hate on her cause she crushed on Percy when half of you are doing the same thing and then y’all go and ship Percy with Nico, Jason, Artemis, Athena, etc. 

-If y’all want to hate on Jason for ‘not having a personality’ you’d also have to hate on most of the main HoO characters except Reyna, Nico, and Leo (and maybe Hazel) for the same reason cause they have the exact same problem tbh

-Zoë and Bianca’s deaths weren’t actually that sad. We didn’t get to see them enough nor did they have enough development for their deaths to have a real impact. The only sad thing about them was Zoë’s last words and Nico’s reaction

-Thalia needed more time in the books

-Reyna was the only main female character in HoO that wasn’t a boring, bland Mary Sue that all the other characters automatically loved. She was the only one with real flaws and distinct personality traits she’s my queen

-Piper, Annabeth, and Calypso did have flaws but the fact that they weren’t called out by other characters or even noticed are what makes them Mary Sues. It doesn’t matter how many flaws a character has, if they’re not called out by other characters (more specifically, other protagonists who actually like them) they don’t count as real character flaws

-Riordan can’t write female characters for shit

-Clarisse, Drew, and Octavian deserved better than being completely antagonized for no explained reason other than to make the protagonists seem better and to make the readers root for them. Those three had more potential than most of the Seven combined

-The whole ‘Aphrodite kids don’t train’ thing is bs. It’s specifically stated that all the demigods follow a strict schedule and have to follow it or they’ll be on stable duty or smth and the Aphrodite kids shouldn’t (and can’t) be excused from that

-Therefore, Drew should be way more powerful and skilled than Piper, at least enough to not back down automatically from a duel by a newbie who hasn’t even learned how to fight (Drew can control an entire cabin of people at once and Piper can barely control one person at a time, who’s more powerful again??)

-Also I have no idea why Riordan portrays all the Aphrodite kids as weak and girly in the first place. ‘Femininity’ and ‘weakness’ are not synonymous and ‘love’ and ‘beauty’ don’t equal ‘feminine’

-Speaking of which, love is actually really powerful but Piper doesn’t stand for love or ‘inner beauty’ and all her ‘thoughtful/insightful’ quotes in ToA/TBM about love were complete bs

-Riordan using the LGBTQ+ community for the sole purpose of making Piper seem more likable and ‘special’ was disgusting and proves he thinks that straight is the default- “...Or Hera’s ideas of what a perfect couple looked like. Piper finding her own way, not the one people expected of her” my ass. In other words, he’s saying ‘The expectations for love and the idea of a perfect couple are a heterosexual relationship, and anyone who 'finds their own way instead of the ones people expect’ are different’. ‘Different’ and ‘default’ are antonyms, so if you think LGBT people are different, then you think that straight is the default. Aphrodite is the goddess of love not heteronormative bullshit. Like Riordan, honey, you’re the one who thinks that the expectations for love and the idea of a perfect couple are heterosexual couples, not fictional gods from a fictional mythology. Remember kiddos- an author writes their own beliefs

If you don’t agree with some of these that’s fine sis it doesn’t matter if you have different opinions than me❤️

[mostly-mundane-atla]

Well I got at least two people interested (@esmeralda-anistasia and @deathsmallcaps) so why not.

Quick disclaimer: I understand that some fans can be very sensitive to this topic and take general criticisms as personal attacks and jump to the defensive. Please don't justify your ships to me if you have that reaction to anything said in this post. It's not my business and if I'm honest I really don't care. Your experiences are not mine and will not change mine and nothing I'm about to say is meant to be read as an insult.

Okay onto the rarepairs in question!

I was ten years old when the episode Zuko Alone first aired and Ursa fascinated me. She was so elegant and sweet, and yet the implication was that she was also capable of assassination. Her disappearence and the fact everyone involved kept pretty hush-hush about her gave her character an air of mystery and Zuko's memories involving her made him a great deal more interesting and sympathetic (i still rolled my eyes every time he showed up and thought he didn't deserve all the cute moments with Mai until The Day of Black Sun, and even then still thought Jet was cooler in every way, but you can't please them all). She had quickly become a favorite character and I've held onto that adoration for about 15 years now.

I also really wanted her to kiss Hakoda.

They had compatible personalities and deserved some luck in love after all the heartbreak and trials, and they both loved their children despite having to leave. Ursa was never treated as dead, just gone. She could have been anywhere and there was nothing to say she couldn't have crossed paths with Hakoda and his men.

There was also something about it I didn't quite have the words or media exposure to explain. Often, in fandom or canon, if a relationship is biracial, the partner who is fairer-skinned and/or of the dominant or invading culture, who the audience sees themselves in, is the man and the one who is darker-skinned and/or marginalized or colonized is the woman (heteronormativity got a head start on this one). There's a lot of ugly "taming the savage" rhetoric in this, usually paired with blatant misogyny that's supposed to be in the woman's favor (like suggesting that a woman could only be complicit in this culture because it was what she was told and didn't know any better). The woman's family and friends who oppose this are depicted as unfairly prejudiced against this strange man as if their distaste for people who can be or have been responsible for things like genocide or subjugation is the same as the other side seeing these people as deserving of genocide or subjugation for the crime of not being like them. Sometimes it's the other way around, where the partner seen as "more civilized" is the woman and the one seen as "less civilized" is the man, in which case the woman is often abducted or otherwise the man's defining feature is his brutishness. This supposed brutishness is both intimidating and attractive to the oh so delicate if a bit repressed captive/wife (as well as the audience) and can manifest as being fiercely protective of her, which is how he shows his affection if there is a language barrier between them. And if you grow up Native, this is easy to pick up on and often in the back of your mind, because at least 90% of your media representation likely has some aspect mentioned above.

(Man that was a lot of academic style analysis)

But the dynamic between Hakoda and Ursa wouldn't leave room for any of that. Hakoda, as an absent parent backstory, is defined by having to leave despite how much he loved and would miss his children. Ursa, as an absent parent backstory, is defined by the crime she was willing to commit for her children (for Zuko specifically, but how long would it actually take for Azula to shoot her mouth off at the wrong place and time and also be targeted by Azulon?). Ursa was the one whose willingness to kill sent her fleeing into the night. The culture of her nation betrayed her and made her choose between her own safety and that of at least one of her children. Hakoda is charismatic and a good leader, but he is also soft spoken and understanding, and above all else, gentle. He isn't here to hurt innocents. He's here to see to it that the next generation of his people will not fear invaders or raids or even know that snow can be black from soot. And he's someone Ursa can finally feel safe around and confide in, and she could be the same for him. Someone he doesn't have to be the leader for, to whom he can admit that he just wants to be home and let the tears fall.

I'm honest enough to admit that one of the reasons I liked The Search was that Ikem wore his hair a lot like Hakoda did and that was close enough to it being canon for me.

Another one is Jin/Smellerbee. Something about their personalities strikes me as being so wonderfully harmonious and I like to imagine Jin, smooth-talking and streetwise but still the most genuine person, being the one to sit Smellerbee, who never really got a chance to think about these things, down and explain that anything she might be is okay. That it's okay to not be in love with a guy friend who gave her a purpose and loyal companionship. That it's okay to like girls. That she can have more than one partner. That it's okay to be different from what's considered normal and proper and not have an easy word to describe it. And eventually she'd realize it's true. And eventually she'd realize that she wasn't teasing when she called her beautiful in a wild sort of way.

I also like to think that Smellerbee clearly has more specialized fighting skills and is very good at what she does but Jin is strong enough to bench press her no problem. And Smellerbee acts all tough (because she is) but blushes whenever Jin calls her cute or pretty because she's not used to it.

Sometimes Longshot is involved too. Not as a third wheel or the exact same kind of partner, more like a ghibli style relationship with Smellerbee. Like is it a gentle romance? Is it an intimate friendship? It's love and they know that and don't have to define it by others' perception. And Jin gives Longshot kisses so he doesn't feel left out, which gets him a bit bashful because she really could have anyone, she already has Smellerbee of all people, and she still finds him deserving of a peck on the cheek. They probably all bunk together.

This actually started from a fic I wrote but don't intend on posting more than snippets of. Basically, i was tired of a lot of fanfic tropes, especially those having to do with friends to lovers and soulmates (this world is not kind to aromantics and the last thing I wanted in my escapism was romance being established as a level up for relationships), so I wrote something to actively subvert all of them. Jet and Smellerbee were each convinced they owed the other a romantic relationship after all they'd been through together, even though neither actually wanted it, because that's how all the stories go. So after he dies, she remembers all those times that would have been romantic if either was actually interested, but were instead just uncomfortable because it was entirely social convention and no feeling. But then she comes across Jin, who she's never met before, but who takes her in her arms and reassures her and sympathizes with her, and in this tiny apartment in this seedy side of town, she feels safe. She seeks permission for every touch and kiss and tells her this encounter doesn't have to be anything she isn't comfortable with. And when Smellerbee has to leave, Jin insists she take a candle to light her way, and winks when she says she can return it the day after. She gives her an excuse to visit again. And Smellerbee blushes and accepts it.

And then there's Teo/Haru and Teo/Ty Lee. No special reason I just think both would make a cute couple and want Teo to be happy. He's a good boy, more people should love him. Let him impress people with wheelchair tricks and get smooched.

[sawwyouuinadream]

FIFTH HARMONY EXPOSED

Isn’t this the type of headline that intrigues people? Well, here I will expose some myths that the so-called Exposing accounts go on exposing. Just declaring something here in the beginning: I love all my Fifth Harmony girls, OT5 that is, and read it at your discretion. The thoughts stated below are opinions of mine, gathered over months and years, and I firmly stand by them.

Cutting to the chase, here we go:

1)      Fifth Harmony the Band Image:

This group was manufactured by Simon Cowell on the X-Factor, back in 2012, and it broke up in 2018. On the show, Lauren Jauregui, the green-eyed white Latina was given the majority of solos and they performed songs in Spanish and garnered Hispanic fans banking on the fact that there were three Latinas in the group.

After they signed to Syco/Epic when the show ended, we saw Camila Cabello, the more convincing Latina, who was born in Cuba, get more and more solos. Normani Kordei was promoted as the “dancer” of the group, Ally Brooke as the “unproblematic one”, Lauren as the “broody edgy girl” and Dinah Jane as the “relatable Polynesian”.

Not surprisingly, Camila was the first one to do a solo venture with Shawn Mendes, the song I Know What You Did Last Summer, which, according to me, was a song to test the waters for both Shawn and Camila.

As more time passes, Camila was portrayed like the lead, not by HERSELF, but the trademark that Fifth Harmony was. She stopped talking in interviews, started doing more and more solo stuff, and even signed to a different manager. Voila, we were getting the rift in-band vibes galore.

Now here’s my verdict:

Fifth Harmony was made by Simon to not get the next One Direction, but to get the next Taylor Swift. Little Mix was already there in the U.K, and people know Girl groups don’t do as well as Boy Bands, mostly because of the inherent Misogyny in the society.

They wanted the next relatable girl next door who could influence teenage girls.  Camila being Latina, could now have an even larger fanbase, in Latin America as well as South Asia, because South Asian music is quite similar in a groove to Latin Music.

Why Not Lauren or Ally then?  Well, they were simply not interesting or Latin enough.

Why Not Normani? Do I have to tell? Those bitches are racist as fuck.

Why Not Dinah? Same thing. Less Appeal to a large fanbase.

That’s why Camila was the goofy dorky most relatable person on 5H. That’s why she readily had a high budget tour all set up for her the moment she left the group. That’s why they promoted her. 5H was never the long-lasting plan. Camila was. 5H was just an excuse to get her a strong fanbase and give Epic 4 more mediocre artists. I am really happy that Normani proved her worthiness and released smash hits as well. And mind you, this was done without Camila herself wishing for it. It was just the label’s decision.

 2)      Camila- the beauty or the bitch?

Camila Cabello is a very intriguing person to me. At the first glance, you haven’t seen a more dorky, goofy, and relatable celebrity like her, eating bananas and tripping on air. But then she starts talking about profound and deep experiences, and you go on her Tumblr and find quotes from books and aesthetic pictures. But then you see her leaked text messages and old Tumblr and all those images crumble before your eyes.

Think about this. Among the 5H girls, Dinah, Lauren, Ally, and Normani have friends outside the industry whom they talk to and hang out with. They have family they post about. Camila? She seems to have no friends apart from Sandra and Marielle Guzman, and those are the people we got the leaked texts with. What about her school teachers and school friends? Nothing.  All she hangs out with is Shawn Mendes and Taylor Swift and her mom who follows her like a hawk. She doesn’t seem to have a social life at all except for events she goes for business.

In my opinion, Camila has a pretty big secret that is guarded closely by everybody but her.

Is she racist? Yes. She was. She didn’t have any sensitivity to Black people or their struggles whatsoever. But you have to understand she is Hispanic, and not born in the U.S. And she has sort of always been a big mouth. I am from a country that doesn’t have a single black person in the near 30000 miles. We grow up using racial slurs as if it's nothing. I had to unlearn my indoctrinations and consciously undo the wrongs in my head and implement them in my actions. Bit it doesn’t undo things I said as a child. I bullied one friend of mine in middle school simply because her skin tone was darker than mine. But I was not canceled. Because I am not a celebrity. Have I learned? Yes definitely. I will never dare to act like that again because now I understand the pain of being ostracized and I recognize the struggles of black people. But that happened over time.

I feel like Camila is a changed person now, and tries very hard to educate herself. She is not perfect, but she doesn’t deserve so much hate. She deserves a second chance.  If she was indeed like that, Normani wouldn’t post a photo with her in IT on the eighth anniversary of 5H.

As far as her being a jealous bitch goes. The rest of 5H always had good things to talk about her after 5H dissolved in 2018. Lauren, the activist, even praised her. Dinah still seems pretty close to her.

Did she do solo stuff without 5H knowing?

No. If she did, and the whole not attending meetings thing happened, Dinah wouldn’t go to her Bad Things concert one day before she left the band. Lauren wouldn’t laugh with her in the VMAs like that if they weren’t friends and just work colleagues. The whole 5H vs Camila feud was planned by management because apparently shade helps sales. For both parties. Another manipulative misogynistic example of society.

 3)      Are/ Were Camila and Lauren romantically together?

All the roads lead to Rome honey. Camren has too many coincidences to NOT be real. From song lyrics to shady potato photos to weird comments and body language in interviews, I am pretty sure the Camren blogs will keep you covered.

Why does Lauren hate it so much? Why are we being invasive?

Lauren is supposed to nix it every time because she is contractually bound to do so. She needs to be the one to keep Camila’s straight image intact, although we have more than tons of evidence that Camila is anything but straight.

To everyone who says we shouldn’t force sexuality on people. Heterosexuality is not the default. Don’t force straightness on her. She never said she was straight. We’re just speculating she is with Lauren, and that’s it. Lauren just happens to be a girl. That’s IT.

Why did the nosy shippers out Lauren?

Nobody did. They just speculated on her sexuality based on assumptions. But no fan posted photos of her and Lucy from her aunt’s Facebook, because it was password protected. It was most probably intentional. Note that she shot a coming-out photoshoot with her “ex-girlfriend” Lucy Vives even before the Wedding where she was supposedly outed. Why shoot a photoshoot TO COME OUT and then hide behind the closet? Her coming out was planned as early as 2015, and so was the bearding of Camila simultaneously.

To me, Lauren and Camila are contracts bound to lie, at this moment. But they have a very grown-up and well-communicated relationship that is very sacred and private, and only the two of them know everything about it. Lauren and Camila are still related to the same contract, and this intuition of mine was confirmed yesterday. She was shooting something for Roger gold’s label. I hope the best for both of them, and I would love it if they were together. But them going public would be huge and in my opinion, detrimental to them.

4)      Who’s Shawn Mendes?

A really career-oriented artist. Shawmila is for him and his promotion only. Not his fault though. He is just a conceited boy with good guitar skills who wants to be extremely famous. I will not talk about his sexuality, because unlike Camila, I can’t trace him to anyone in particular.  But I can say this, Camila’s solo career had plans for Shawmila since the very start. I also believe it will end like Jelena and be back and forth for some time for minor promotions.

 Final Verdict:

Nobody is perfect. Don’t make this about Shawmila Vs Camren. Every artist has their struggles. But please break out of the shell of heteronormativity, misogyny, and racism. Love human beings. The 5H girls and Shawn Mendes are teenagers, now adults, who have been oppressed and manipulated by a capitalistic racist homophobic industry, for money and money only. And only the fans have the power to see the truth and choose the right stuff.

[you-cant-spell-subtext-without]

Sigh. It’s quiet today, so I guess it’s about time to talk about 12x06: Celebrating the Life of Asa Fox.  

This is an episode without Cas, so clearly it revolves entirely around Cas (I'm kidding, but only a little bit).  It’s also a bottle episode and a meta writer’s wet dream, so excuse me while I nerd out - this is a long one to unpack, and I have spent too much time doing it for you.  That’s ok because, as Sam says:

DIVE IN AFTER THE CUT BUDDIES!

The Asa montage is where we start.

Asa is a Dean mirror. The parallels are pretty clear - he’s a scruffy rough around the edges hunter, Mary is the reason he got into hunting, he wears a ton of flannel, etc.  If you remain unsure, the writers throw this in at the very beginning in the montage of Asa’s life as a hunter So That You Know:

Bucky: Hey, you know they make new cars, right? Asa: I don’t want a new car. This is my lucky car. 

***Canadian!Dean confirmed.

Shaine Jones may also be the Canadian Jensen Ackles.

I don’t make the rules ok?

Back in the US, the boys surprise Jody with a visit. 

In case you forgot the episode prior to this one:

Side note: domestic Jody gives me life. 

We’re clearly supposed to see how Jody is a mom figure for the boys, and it feels nice for them to have that, especially since Mary is Taking Some Space.  Their entire dynamic warms even my cold black soul.

[romantic scene of a couple silhouetted against a sunset while sweeping music plays on Jody’s TV. The couple kisses.] 

DEAN

[his mouth full of pizza] Jody, you watching some kind of chick flick here?

JODY

Well, Dean. I’m a chick. 

Kim Rhodes YOU ARE A DELIGHT.  A side note - I know this exchange is supposed to be funny, but I feel sad for Dean (who clearly is a rom com chick).  This is a perfect example of Dean struggling to present some fabricated image of heteronormative masculinity that’s not the heart of who he actually is.  His surprise that a “badass sheriff chick” can also enjoy rom coms makes me fucking upset.  

ALSO:

Anyway, Asa has passed on and the boys tag along with Jody to the wake in support.  

SAM

Yeah, no, Jody. We… we know you’ll be fine, but… you know, we never go to hunter gatherings, outside of bars. Dad always said they were trouble, so…

DEAN

Yes, you’d be doing us a favor if you let us tag along.

***more receipts that John Winchester was an isolating abuser.  They could have at least had a normal HUNTER life and friends who hunted.

SAM  

That is a big house. [Music continues playing, coming from inside the house now]

***We now establish one “theme” of the episode.

JODY

Family home. Asa was just a guy. 

AKA pretty brutal implication that Asa didn’t have a family of his own.

Speaking of implications:

[Jody removes her coat and the three of them begin mingling. Dean finds his way to the kitchen and a cooler full of beer] DEAN

No label. Well, that’s a red flag. 

****LOL WHAT THE FUCK IS THE REASON****

....

....

....

GIRL SEND HELP

Enter Bucky, who is actually (SPOILER!) the villain of the episode.

Do all hunters just walk around with this manly flannel/weird symbolic necklace combo?  Looking at you Bucky and Dean.  

Dean is surprised to find that people know who he is:

But doesn’t seem to have an issue with it until -

***Someone who just bragged the entire five hour car ride about killing Hitler shouldn’t be this concerned about what people are saying about him right? 

Or is he thinking it may involve something he isn’t comfortable sharing - since apparently there are things Dean doesn’t feel comfortable sharing as established by the prior couch conversation with Jody?  Hmmmmmm...

***Compare the expressions.  The “you’ve died four times” response is the same as the smug/proud “I killed Hitler” face.  The reaction to the “stories” is the “hey this is my personal business” reaction Dean had to Sam’s Japanese erotica art form comment. He is thinking specifically about something personal.

I wonder what it could be.

I don’t think any one had to teach Max Banes the art of seduction, but also thank you.

Also, manifesting Dean being raised by Max and Alicia’s Cool Witch Mom instead of John Trash Winchester.  Because that’s what we’re supposed to think here, correct?  Two sibling hunters usually present a brother mirror.

Worth noting Sam’s surprise that witches can also be hunters.  The John Winchester Bigotry Brain Rot runs deep.  (GOD the Sam-witch thing would have driven him crazy I LIVE FOR THAT).

Dean escapes to Asa’s office/room and proceeds to go through his things.

[Dean is in Asa’s office and finds an angel blade mounted on blue velvet inside an ornate glass-lidded box. He opens it, reaches in and pulls out the angel blade, comfortably spinning it in his hand when Sam walks in.]

SAM

Hey.

DEAN

Oh, hi. This is a real Angel Blade. I mean, this guy was legit. 

***that’s weird, why does Canadian!Dean have an angel blade?  We haven’t heard anything about angels yet, and it wasn’t in the opening montage.  Hmmmmmm, I say. Hmmmmmmm...

***Sam is also concerned about The Stories They Tell 

This one particularly:

Honestly I don’t know why he’s THAT surprised that people know he was possessed by Lucifer?  Didn’t he start like multiple apocalypses?  That’s something people tend to be in the know about. Anyhoo.

DEAN

Yeah. Apparently we’re a little bit legendary. 

SAM 

Yeah, but, I mean, so was Asa. Then a hunt went bad, and he ended up hanging from a tree, alone in the woods.

DEAN

He died on the job. No better way to go. 

SAM

You really believe that? 

DEAN

Yeah. What, you don’t? I mean, come on, Sam, it's not like we're in the “live till you're 90, die in your sleep” business. This? [Dean points at Asa’s hunting wall] This only ends one way. 

***Insert deep internal screaming about 15x20 here***

It’s Jody’s turn to be uncomfortable as we find out she and Asa were more than just friends and everyone knew it and Said Things About It and Told Stories About It.

HMMMMMMM...

Dean is surprised that Jody not only enjoys rom coms, but ruggedly hot men. Another thing they have in common.

As Dean comes to terms with the idea that Jody can be a mother figure and also a human person with a life and her own feelings and needs and thoughts, enter the person whom said lesson is actually about:

This is a Kim Rhodes Facial Expression stan account now.

So cute how Jody knows immediately that Dean is not okay.  Time to reach:

JODY

Huh. Is that why you spent the entire ride up here telling me in extreme, excruciating detail how you killed Hitler, but, uh, you neglected to mention the fact that your mom is back from the dead? 

***look, it’s another Dean doesn’t like others knowing personal information parallel!***

DEAN 

Yeah, no big deal. 

JODY

That’s a lie.

DEAN

JODY …

JODY

Look, maybe this isn't my place, and this is epic stuff, but

JODY

Yeah. Because what if I’ve changed. What if they changed? What if it just didn’t work out the way I wanted?  If you wanna talk about anything

***Killing Hitler used yet again to show Dean doesn’t care about oversharing hunting stories, but he doesn’t like for people to know personal ones.  Also, Jody mentions her son and her husband.  Her family and her romantic partner.  

Dean wasn’t just reunited with Mary this season. He was also reunited with Cas, after saying goodbye to him at the end of Season 11 when he headed to what he thought was going to be his death as the Amara-bomb.

So, this conversation isn't just about Mary (the “anything”).  It’s also about Cas (the”...absolutely anything”).

Mary chats with Mama Fox and more Points Are Made about hunters not getting to have a “normal life” or family:

MARY

I saved his life. 

LORRAINE

[scoffing] What am I supposed to say to that? After you, Asa got so… Hunting was his whole life. He never married. Never had a family, kids. And now… enjoy the wake. 

***sending Mary on a guilt spiral about Asa (mirroring her other guilt spiral about hunting as a life for her own sons)

Speaking of mirrors:

BUCKY

And Asa loved that Jeep. Fuses were shorted, fuel line was busted. Ah, he didn’t care. He’d just roll up his sleeves, he’d get right to work. 

Time to learn about today’s Big Bad.

BUCKY

Jael. He’s a crossroads demon. And he hangs people. It’s his thing. Snaps their neck, slits their throat. He’s a real piece of work. 

***Wait a second.  Jael is a demon?  Don’t...angel’s names usually end in “el” in SPNverse?

Samandriel.

Uriel.

Gabriel.

Raphael.

Gadreel.

Castiel.

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.

Anyways the demon [questionable] killed Asa and now everyone  is trapped and also In Grave Danger.  

BUCKY

Exactly. Right, so five years later, Jael– he came back, and he came for Asa. 

JODY

How so? 

BUCKY

Asa was seeing this woman, right? She had a kid. 

LORRAINE

Marlene. 

BUCKY

Yeah, Marlene. Jael got into her. It didn’t matter that he was killing people, he wanted Asa to know it was personal. He gets off on it. 

***that’s so weird, didn’t someone else in the show start seeing a woman with a kid - 

what a sexy little coincidence.

oh and didnt  a supernatural being come back right around that time too - 

HMMMMMMMM.  No killing though.  That’s the difference between angels and demons, I guess.

(meanwhile Dean has been drinking alone outside - as he does, and is realizing he can’t get back in)

HI QUEEN

Also, this immediately took me to 

this show isn’t fair.

****sob break****

Jael Posession 1:

So curious how there are two siblings and then one gets possessed by something Satanic and the other one is good at seducing men.

SO FUCKING CURIOUS.

Jael Possession 2:

Elvis. Random.  Though he was the guy who brought up the Stories Sam Was Surprised Were Circulating -

He was also oddly interested in it.  Methinks Elvis thoroughly enjoyed the Jael possession.

Bilie gets Dean back in the house.  The words “one-time deal” are said a lot of times.

BONUS: Jensen why are you so pretty:

The hunters get to work, and I live for Max Bane’s pentagram aesthetic.

MAX

I like a Fifth Pentacle of Mars. It’s got more character. 

***TBH, same.

Jael possession 3:

****Kim Rhodes is even better when she is playing evil.

JODY/JAEL:

I had so hoped you’d kill your mom. Wouldn’t that be a riot? 

[Mary draws the angel blade and charges at Jody. She cuts Jody’s arm before Sam wrestles her away.] 

SAM

No! Mom!

MARY

What are you doing?! She’s a demon. We kill demons. 

******WOOF MARY - I REPEAT TO YOU THAT THE JOHN TRASH WINCHESTER BRAIN ROT RUNS DEEP.

Also did you immediately flash back to this with me?

Gets me thinking that Dean’s feelings for Cas are made twice as complicated by the fact that he is also a supernatural creature.  Another Reason Why John Winchester Would Disapprove.

****Just as he would Disapprove of Sam Being Possessed By the Devil and all that (never forget he told Dean to kill him because of the whole made unclean by demon blood thing). 

Right on cue:

JODY/JAEL

Oh, I have heard so many stories about you Winchesters. And I desperately want the Lucifer thing to be true.  

***Stories again. Jael proceeds to go into Stories That Are Dark Personal Shameful Secrets:

JAEL

As for the rest of you, I have been inside your heads. I know all about you. For example, the twins. Too frightened to tell anyone that they actually came to say goodbye to their daddy. Or the grieving mother who hated the fact that her son was a hunter so much she’d hide his gear, she’d sabotage his Jeep, anything to keep him from hunting. Not that it worked. Could’ve tried harder, huh? 

[She gestures at her own face] And this meatsuit you all seem to care so much about. She actually fantasized about a life with Asa. Can you believe that? Like that worthless man– 

***HMMMMMMMMM

[Bucky gets off the floor and sneaks up behind Jody/Jael] 

BUCKY 

Shut your filthy mouth. 

[Jody/Jael grabs Bucky by the neck and forces him to his knees] 

JODY/JAEL

And you. Bucky. Brave, brave Bucky. I was there that night. Tell these nice, stupid people what you did. Tell them what you took from me. Asa was mine. 

***Excuse me? THIS IS GETTING VERY...subtextual.  A dark timeline supernatural being/hunter relationship [ending badly because demons only know how to take, consume and possess]? ...Asael?  CURIOUS. 

They chant the exorcism, a different hunter doing each iteration (beautifully done) 

and send Jael back to hell, but not before Bucky shares his Shameful Story - he’s the one who killed Asa.

Elaboration:

BUCKY

Asa, he was just all– he was just always so stubborn. Look, we were in the woods. [We see the scene play out as Bucky describes it] Jael, he… he was taunting him. Asa wanted to chase him, but he didn’t have the angel blade. I said, “Let’s go back.” He called me a coward, and he shoved me, so I shoved him back, and he fell. He hit his head. Asa? I didn’t mean to do it. But it was a mistake. Asa. Asa? An accident. I’m sorry. I didn’t know what to do. Asa hated that damn demon so much that I just…

DEAN

Oh, you thought people would buy that Jael killed him? So you hung your best friend to cover your own ass. 

BUCKY

What are you gonna do to me? 

ALICIA:

Tell everyone, every hunter we meet. They’re gonna know your name, Bucky. Know what you did. 

MAX

You like stories. This is the story everyone’s gonna tell about you. Forever. 

***Shameful Stories that Define You, what a theme.  Also, definitely a supernatural being potentially having some subtextual feelings for Canadian!Dean.  Hmmm.

***Funeral pyre and side discussion about how Asa did have a family, and children, and a potential supernatural sidepiece.

In conclusion, Supernatural is a love story.  Thank you for watching this dark timeline/Canadian dub.  You’re dismissed for the day.  Go eat bacon.

[wangxiandecoded]

Episode 11

Previous Episode | Next Episode

(Spoilers for the whole show ahead!) 

Wei Ying’s first instinct is to go back to Cloud Recesses after Wen Chao warned him his brother has gone there. Jiang Cheng has to remind him that the state of Lotus Pier could be much worse.

Wen Chao calls him “Lan Zhan” here and I generally get “homophobic villain here to torment the love birds” vibes from him. Wangxian’s relationship is so obvious to Wen Chao that he can even guess where Lan Zhan got the talisman from. 

The curious thing is Wei Ying used this talisman to break the barrier and enter Cloud Recesses the very first night, but we never actually saw him give it to Lan Zhan or show him how to make one. So could it be that Lan Zhan just remembered it because he remembers everything about Wei Ying? It’s a nice detail and in a way, Wei Ying is able to protect him even when they’re apart. Lan Zhan also keeps this talisman in his possession through the years and uses it in the future when Wen Ning is being bullied on the streets.

Wei Ying has sent letters to Lan Zhan on the way back to Lotus Pier and didn’t hear back from him. He’s worried something went awfully wrong at Cloud Recesses. Why is it that the moment our heroes get separated, everything starts to go downhill? I’m only half-kidding when I say the universe is like a Wangxian shipper who goes berserk whenever they’re not together but it’s almost like their combined existence is pivotal in maintaining the equilibrium of their world.

We Do Not Deserve Lan Zhan

We love to see Wei Ying’s boyfriend being a BAMF!

It would’ve been easy for any man less than Lan Zhan to hide inside the cave. But Lan Zhan recalls Lan Yi’s words, which happen to be the same words that he shared with Wei Ying when they made their wish. Su She and the world do not deserve the sacrifice Lan Zhan makes in this moment. And it is hard for us to see him go through the vicissitude of gaining control over Cloud Recesses only to lose it the next instant. 

The Yin Iron has now fallen into the hands of the very evil he swore to eliminate, most of his home has been burnt down, his clan members have died and his brother is in hiding. Needless to say, it is a breaking point for him that pushes him to grieve beyond words.

It is interesting how the Jiang clan’s motto is “To attempt the impossible. Do nothing until you do something.” This is precisely what Wei Ying’s journey is about, something even Jiang Cheng fails to do in the face of outright evil.

Wangxian’s Reunion Becomes The Touchstone Of Romance

Wei Ying can feel something is wrong even when Jiang Cheng tries to convince him it’s a good thing Lan Zhan isn’t here in Qishan.

There are many moments in the show where Wangxian’s meeting feels like the world is shrinking in on itself to let these lovers exist outside the confines of space and time, and this is one such moment. Wei Ying has eyes only for Lan Zhan and the camera breathtakingly gives us a glimpse of what Wei Ying sees when he turns around. Perhaps he even hears this music in his head when he sees Lan Zhan for the first time in a long time, it’s definitely within the realm of possibility for someone so whipped.

Everyone sees Lan Zhan through different perspectives : Wen Chao sees the adversary he wants gone, Jiang Cheng sees the infallible Lan Wangji who he believes would’ve saved the Yin Iron, Nie Huaisang and Jin Zixuan see the monolithic Second Childe Lan arrive without his clan members. But Wei Ying sees his Lan Zhan walk up to him and time slows down for him. There is open relief mixed with disbelief, and a longing to be close to him - he didn’t know that he’d see him here and yet here he is. Sauntering in like the romantic hero Wei Ying thinks him to be, the sea of people parting for him, and no trace of the man who lost his home in a battle, lost the Yin Iron he promised to preserve and is here because he chose to surrender himself. But he also knows him better than anyone else and that is why he can sense something went abysmally amiss at Cloud Recesses after just one look at Lan Zhan.    

He knows Lan Zhan isn’t “fine” like Jiang Cheng claims he is. Wei Ying moves towards him with the primordial instinct to protect the love of his life, calling his name many times, and the worry is transparent on his face : He wants to be there for him and comfort him, enemy territory and intrusive eyes or ears be damned. Love after all takes no heed of time or place, bows before no law or reason. He is all feelings, springing to personally ensure Lan Zhan is okay, needing to know what has happened. Jiang Cheng yanks him back and tells him that maybe the Yin Iron is safe but Wei Ying’s obvious concern reveals his true priority. Who is thinking about that right now? Lan Zhan is in distress and I need him to tell me what’s wrong.

These scenes truly challenge the heteronormativity in an uninitiated viewer. If Wangxian were a straight couple and one person entered the scene with the majesty and flourish Lan Zhan did, while the other person had eyes only for them, everyone would be an incoherent mess because of their reunion. They would be swept off their asses into oblivion and need no further explanation to know these are the two people around whom the central romance is being built.

I’m pretty sure if you showed this scene to people who haven’t seen the show and have zero context to it, some of them are going to think the groom is making his way to the other groom in this shot. (Trust me, I tried!)

[homobiwan]

Parse is repressed, obviously. But from where does this repression stem?

The first time we see Parse, he emerges as someone from Jack’s past who Jack is clearly unhappy to see. It is heavily implied that Jack and Parse had history with each other, although it is never explicitly stated by either of them. While this is most likely a conscious decision on the author’s part to try to maintain suspense over whether Jack is actually gay, this also reflects Parse and Jack’s (but mostly Parse’s) comfort level with their sexuality.

While Parse is fully aware that he is in love with Jack and attracted to the same gender, he hesitates to use the label gay to describe himself, even in his own thoughts. This suggests that he comes from a background where sexuality is not spoken of, gay is an insult, and feelings are disregarded. Parse most likely grew up in an environment directly hostile to anyone that goes against the heteronormative standard.

Parse has it drilled into him by now that this is something to hide, to ignore, and to dismiss. This is something he is not safe enough to even think of in private.

(On a more humorous note, I do wonder how Parse and Jack got together since both are so closeted. It would be rather funny if Jack walked in to find Parse watching porn one day and that’s how their . . . thing started.) (LMFAO WHO WANTS TO BET THIS IS HOW IT ACTUALLY BEGAN?)

Parse possibly came out to someone other than Jack, whether in absentminded passing or in all sincerity, only to experience derision and possibly rejection. So now Parse has this false idea fixed in his mind that Jack is the only person it is safe to be out to. Jack is the only person around whom is safe to be gay.

This was problematic even while Jack and Parse were together, but now that Jack has left him, Parse has no one else. When Parse says that he misses Jack, he doesn’t just miss Jack—although this is certainly a factor. Parse misses being known. Parse misses having someone in his life that doesn’t make him feel like he has to hide.

For Parse, the idea of being out with Jack is bad enough—the thought of a reality in which he is out without Jack is impossible.

But because Parse projects his own thoughts and motivations onto other people (as do most of us), he assumes that Jack does not want to be with him because Jack is afraid of people knowing he’s gay, possibly afraid of being gay itself. Thus, it’s all a waiting game to Parse. In Parse’s mind, Jack will eventually become comfortable with his sexuality. He will come back to Parse, and then Parse will be comfortable with being gay, and then Parse will come out.

As we all know, Jack is not Parse. His motivation for staying away from Parse has dimensions that Parse either cannot or will not understand. So one day, Parse sees Jack kiss Bitty on live television.

And all those air castles of being happy and in love and safe with Jack come crashing down.