#why am i not allowed to consume media like a normal person??

[cinnamonest]

With this whole 'rape fantasies are a result of misogyny as they allow women a guilt free sexuality cos they have no autonomy'

Surely that means your writing and fantasies are contributing to misogyny? Adding to it and normalising it?

Like isnt the answer to write and encourage fantasies of empowerment? Not abuse and rape?

Just seems crazy to me like 'we do this because of misogyny. And we'll keep doing it'

Obviously some behaviour come from misogyny and exist to combat it. This... really doesn't

I just don't think it's a feminist win when your writing is indistinguishable from that of a misogynistic man's.

This isnt an attack on you it just really seems like common sense that if something exists because of misogyny the last thing we should do is feed into those ideas

(I assume this is coming from this post, so I might reference that a bit here)

No worries, I fully understand how this can come across negative to those who do not have the same experiences and I appreciate you approaching the matter in a non-attacking way with genuine desire to have dialogue on the subject. I'll do my best to address these points individually.

>Surely that means your writing and fantasies are contributing to misogyny? Adding to it and normalising it?

In the past few years fandom culture has become a bit obsessed with the idea of "normalization" to the point that the definition of the term has been a bit skewed, which creates issues with these discussions.

There is no concept of which existence of content containing it alone constitutes normalization, by the actual definition of the word. Normalization is the process by which it is distributed and way in which it is presented, and intent of its creation.

Normalization via fiction is a process in which a creator, generally intentionally, creates content that presents a concept as, well, normal. That is, not reprehensible or problematic to replicate, and presents this to a population with the intent of them accepting the idea as something acceptable in reality. Generally it also necessitates that the creator will try to ensure the media is viewed by mainstream general audiences who would not normally seek the content out, since the purpose of normalization is to make an idea acceptable amongst a population.

That is the opposite of what I am doing, which is creating a private space filled with warnings. I am going out of my way to ensure that people who do not want to see this content, have the foreknowledge to opt to avoid it.

By definition, if you’re creating content and ensuring that it is heavily warned, and marketing it as such that only a niche group who likes such content seeks it out, that’s not normalization by any reasonable metric.

>Like isnt the answer to write and encourage fantasies of empowerment? Not abuse and rape?

For some people, I’m sure that would help them, and in that case, that is a great solution for them.

But people are different, and certain things that help some, don’t help others. The types of fantasies that would probably be called “empowering,” personally do nothing for me but make me uncomfortable, in the same way that the sort of content I write makes some people uncomfortable. It does not have the same positive effects on my mental health that this form of content does.

>Obviously some behaviour come from misogyny and exist to combat it. This... really doesn't

That's fair — but it doesn't have to.

It is not intended to directly combat misogyny in any way, there are other ways to do that, and this does not have to be one. It's primary purpose is catharsis and the ways in which it benefits me and, as is my hope, those who choose to consume it.

>I just don't think it's a feminist win when your writing is indistinguishable from that of a misogynistic man's.

Again, I never had any intention for it to be a "win" — misogyny is the reason for why I have these desires, but in making what I make, my purpose is to provide catharsis for myself and others.

But also, I would heavily contest that it is indistinguishable from male fantasies. As someone who has seen actual men's misogynist fetishization fantasies, they are very different.

Female disposability and the complete worthlessness of women’s very being — that is, women being non-human objects that are interchangeable, and made to be used temporarily and replaced — is the core defining characteristic of male fantasy/sexuality. Male fantasies almost always involve multiple women to one man, largely because he does not have any actual bond with women, they are items to be collected, no interpersonal relationship actually exists.

The lack of interpersonal connection and lack of personableness itself is fetishized by men, what men get off to is the power they feel from completely disregarding the woman as a person in any way. The very act of the woman being thrown away after being used is fetishized.

In male fantasy, there is no interpersonal connection or affection of any kind, whereas that is one of the defining themes of content like mine.

Tl;dr — while misogyny impacts all women, the severity and form of it in different upbringings, environments and cultures can create misunderstandings and strong reactions when different people react so differently to the same content and thus form misconceptions about each other's perceptions and intentions, but I believe both sides of this argument are usually coming from a place of good intent.

While I fully understand how it would be difficult for those who do not have the same experience to grasp mine, I just ask for mutual understanding that some forms of content help some people, in the same way entirely different forms of content help other people.

[adviceformefromme]

Hi girl. I kind of have a problem. I get jealous easily. And I get jealous of people that are amazing to me and that I love. They just have something that makes me jealous, I can always identify what aspect I'm jealous of but I'm jealous of such stupid things that I don't even recognize myself. Because of that jealousy towards the people that I love, I litetally feel horrible. When I feel like that towards a great friend (or loved person) in my life I feel so guilty. I'm not sure where it's coming from and why I feel like that but I can't control it and I NEED ADVICE so bad ngl. I just want to stop constantly and constantly comparing myself and getting FOMO and being absolutely thirsty for any type of... validation? I personally don't think I crave validation but I don't really know do I? I know you're gonna help me girl. Thank you💓🤍😭

Hey sweetie, perfect timing for this as I woke up to a message from one of my girlfriends who's just got engaged. Some years ago, this most likely would have triggered some jealousy because marriage and family has always been my dream. And even though I am yet to meet my husband, seeing the pictures and reading the message this morning I felt so happy and overjoyed for my friend, for her future, for her happiness.

So how do you quit being a Jealous Jemima?

When you have no direction and purpose you will look to others. You are not focused on yourself so it's easy to observe how far others are moving along, how much better others are doing. And that's because you are not focusing on yourself. When you're walking in purpose. When you are obedient to what is in your heart. As simple as your inner voice guiding you to the gym but you ignore it and scroll for the morning. This is how you stay stuck watching others living their best life. So stepping into purpose is going to get the focus on you, and away from others.

Personally, for me keeping my faith with God. Trusting in God's timing has allowed me to TRUST. To know I am on my own path, and not watching anyone else because I already seen the beauty God has created in my life, and I believe in my heart my dreams of marriage and family are awaiting for me. So by trusting I need not worry about anyone else. I can be happy for others who have the things I desire, in fact seeing them makes me inspired, because I know God is just showing me what's available. So by deepening your trust in God, in the unseen you can relax knowing the people around you are just a reflection of what is available, not to make you jealous but to see what is possible for them, is possible for me too! Learn from them, see what they are doing to get to where they are, the things they have. Remove the lens of jealousy and turn it into trust and faith and curiosity and you will have already shifted your energy.

My final suggestion would be delete social media. Wild I know. But I am almost 12 months no instagram, and I cannot rave about this enough. It is not normal to be consuming so much content, to know everyone's business, who got married from school, who is wearing what, who got spoiled by their man. Literally get out of the circus, social media will re-affirm any feelings of jealousy and amplify them. It's harmful and toxic to your energy. Remove yourself and watch how peaceful life becomes. And you might be wondering what to do next.

You start focusing on you. On becoming your best self. You use your energy to expand with love. You deepen your connection with God, you pray for healing. You transform your life. You let your trust in God and walking in purpose be your foundations for freeing yourself from the low vibration of jealousy. You learn to meditate. You read books (I recently published my healing book here), you do excercise consistently, you improve your diet, your skincare, you give back and support your community, you ensure you are looking and feeling your best, you get therapy if needed, you travel and explore the world, you meet new people and have new conversations. You grow. What you do not do is stay stuck, stay still. Stay complaining, stay jealous, stay carrying bad energy.

[graceraindrops-blog]

I have a question for you regarding the whole seriesbof Diabolik Lovers.

Is it wrong to like the series?

The whole series falls under the dark romance troupe. But many people do not like it due to the fact the constant abuse and torture Yui is put through, how the tragic past of brothers the doesn't justify their actions towards Yui, and the romancitization of a abusive relationship.

Not using Stockholm Syndrome because it doesn't have any psychological trials but was coined by a police officer to discredit a female hostage during a bank robbery.

https://apnews.com/article/stockholm-syndrome-history-origin-023ddcd3a14ac00a0ba88feb838574b3

First of, thanks for the question anon because I really wanted to make post about this exact topic so this is the perfect opportunity!

As of your question, I think we really have to understand, as a fandom, that diabolik lovers is not for everyone and is targeted at a very specific demographic, so of course it makes perfect sense why there's people who would not like the content diabolik lovers has and criticize or hate. Personally, I think that as long you don't normalize, justify, or romanticize the actions of the male characters, as long as you understand that a lot of the stuff the characters do to the protagonist is not okay and is NOT ROMANTIC, you know why there's people who feel uncomfortable by Diabolik lovers and in general you don't defend these types of behaviors and don't view them as romantic..it's not wrong to like Diabolik lovers and I don't think liking it makes you a bad person or a person with questionable morals.

I think anyone should be allowed to like media with problematic stuff without being questioned about their morality as long as the media in question doesn't normalize the questionable things. Which, unlike popular belief, I don't believe diabolik lovers normalize those horrible things, but that's a topic for another post. Anyway, I think we also have to take into consideration that a lot of the people in the fandom got into DL because of the anime (which is a more censored version compared to the games) and not really because of the games (myself included) and not all of them are aware of the bad things the diaboys did to the MC so that's why, till this day, some of them still defend the diaboys, even if its a small minority.

Anywho, I know there's a huge debate (that I personally won't get into) about whether fiction affects reality or not, and because of that a lot of non-DL likers believe DL fans think that type of behavior is okay and that justifies serious situations like SA or torture, which is the opposite (I would like to say that compared to other fandoms, the DL fandom ACTUALLY is aware of the bad behaviors of the characters and do call them out, which you can see countless of posts doing so) because we, in fact, do not (though there are people who justify the actions, but again, it's a small minority)

Is it wrong to like diabolik lovers? No, at least I don't think it's a bad thing. I think DL is one of those series that show you perfectly how victims of abuse can become abusers and do bad things and that not all abuse victims become good people. of course, I agree with anyone saying that their abuse doesn't justify their actions towards Yui but again, it's more of an explanation than a justification, it's the reason why they behaved that way. I think we should also take into consideration that a a fair amount of time has passed between the first games and the diaboys no longer behave like they used to and are way kinder with the mc (at the end of the day, it is an otome game so it makes sense).

I am a firm believer that creators should have the freedom to add a problematic thing (as long as it doesn't normalize it, of course) without spoonfeeding the consumer of how the bad thing in question is bad constantly, because the consumer should already know that and because the media makes it clear that it's bad, and I believe diabolik lovers does that. While reading the translations I always thought that the game made a very clear distinction between what actions were supposed to be romantic and what actions weren't supposed to be romantic. I believe that a lot of the actions of the diaboys did were supposed to show us how bad their past trauma affected them to the point it affected their personality and the way they treat others (not only MC). I think DL in general makes it clear that the behaviors of the diaboys towards the mc aren't okay and, believe it or not, the diaboys do suffer consequences from treating the mc like dogshit lol.

I know a lot of people are not going to agree with this particular take, but taking into account you asked me, I just wanted to put my two and two together on what I personally thought regarding this topic. if you don't like Diabolik lovers and you hate it for being problematic, I don't blame you and I understand why, at the end of the day it's extremely disturbing and definitely not for anyone. Even as someone who has been consuming DL content for years now, it does make me very uncomfortable sometimes and disturbed me to the point there are a lot of translations I never finished reading because I got creeped out lol, but the character development of this game makes it up for those times.

To conclude, no it's not wrong to like DL as long as you're aware that none of the behaviors displayed by the diaboys are not normal nor in any way justified.

[hellfiremunsonn]

Emetophobia. Steve Harrington x Reader

Emetophobia.

I DO NOT ALLOW MY WRITING TO BE REPUBLISHED ANYWHERE OTHER THAN MY OWN BLOG WITHOUT MY CONSENT

Emetophobia: “The extreme fear of vomiting”

summary: Your monthly movie night doesn’t go to plan when Robin ends up sick in the bathroom, leaving Steve to see how badly your phobia can cause you to panic.

(This fic has no smut. Younger audiences are able to read this without any explicit content. but I will still be marking and labeling my writing as 18+)

18 + IF YOU ARE NOT 18 OR OLDER DO NOT READ OR INTERACT WITH MY WRITING. IT IS NOT INTENDED FOR MINORS. I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE MEDIA YOU CONSUME.

WARNINGS: fem! reader, talk of emetophobia, coping mechanisms for it, mentions of panic attack/anxiety attack, descriptions of said panic attack/ anxiety attack. Mentions of Robin throwing up, but no descriptive detail of the act itself.

word count: 2531

AN: HI HELLO. So this is a very self indulgent fic I've written, because I myself have emetophobia. It’s a very debilitating phobia, and it’s hard for people to understand it. I know the way I react to it, and certain situations pertaining it arent rational, and I know my thoughts about it aren’t rational, but it can’t control it. It’s truly the only time that germs will bother me. I go on full panicked cleaning sprees while sobbing and having a full meltdown. It’s not fun, so I thought I’d write something for me, and so that maybe some of you could learn, and hopefully understand it.

It's about eight thirty when the gang arrives at Steves for your monthly movie night. With everyone getting older, and relationships becoming more serious, your group of friends don't get the chance to all hang out together as often as you once did. So you all decided on a monthly movie night, usually held at Steves, but each person or couple picked a different batch of movies to watch each time.

The winter weather told you not everyone would make it today, cars a little too old, and noses a bit too runny, but it was the fact that all of you tried and most of the time managed to gather for these nights. Never disappointed when someone couldn't make it, or you had to postpone it to a different week.

Almost everyone made it, Robin and Eddie both sick with a cold so they decided to stay home which you were extra grateful for. Although it wasn't the flu, and the cold was a sickness you could rationalize and manage, it still didn't dissolve the deep rooted phobia you desperately tried to hide, chalking it off as just anxiety to your friends, giving you an easy excuse to avoid certain situations like parties or bars.

It made you feel so stupid for being terrified of something so normal, so natural even. It was your bodies way of trying to make you feel better, but even the thought of just feeling sick could send you into a spiral. If you were being completely honest, you would rather stab yourself in the thigh and bleed out then throw up, or be near someone who's thrown up.  

You were able to keep it hidden from Steve for most of your relationship, until one night where you refused to get into the car when everyone was leaving a bar because you were too nervous one of your more than tipsy friends were going to be sick. To everyone else, you had a panic attack so you and Steve walked home together in the warmth of the summer night. Although it was technically true, you had to explain to Steve that it was something you've dealt with forever, something you try to avoid at all costs if possible. You didn't want Steve to see that part of you, but you knew it helped him understand you a bit more, why you did the things you did.

Your little quirks started to make sense to Steve after you told him, and he was able to start picking up on your nervous habits, giving him a chance to help you navigate situations where your phobia made you anxious. It also explained why it took you forever to sleep over at his house, or to even have him spend the night at yours with you able to stay in your bed the entire night. Most times Steve would have woken up to find you tucked up on the couch fast asleep instead of in the space next to him, and for the longest time he never knew why. Constantly feeling guilty, like he punched you in his sleep or something and you were too shy to tell him.

He let you do everything you needed to do to sleep, when you began sleeping over at his place. If you needed a light on, a fan for noise or if you got too hot at night, he would be more than accommodating. The tv on playing a movie which you'd get up and rewind and play again if you couldn't sleep? Steve would start waking up on instinct to rewind it for you, even if you had eventually fallen asleep. He would let you have a tape playing with the same song on a loop for twelve hours if that's what you needed.

Still, Steve hadn't seen it at its worst, until tonight.

You'd been keeping an eye on max all night the minute she said she felt shittier than usual considering she was 'just pmsing'. Your anxiety instantly heightened for the few hours your friends gathered in the living room. You watched what she ate, and how much of it, doing the same thing with whatever alcohol she decided to sip on. Only when you were about half way through the second movie, when you paused it for everyone to have a bathroom break, did you start to relax, when max excitedly bounced up to you. Sitting next to you with a giggle, wanting to fill you in on her college gossip before everyone was ready for the movie to continue.

You realized that just maybe your anxiety was lying to you, for real this time. So your anxieties faded and you were able to enjoy the rest of your night, falling asleep sometime before the second movie ended, Steves arm wrapped securely around your shoulders.

When you wake up, you're a little more slumped against Steve, still tucked up into his side and you can hear him talking quietly. You make a small groan of protest before lifting yourself from him, rubbing your eyes.

"Sorry babe, did I wake you?" Steve asked, tucking some of your hair behind your ear when you look up at him. You realize everyone is gone except for Lucas who's standing on the other side of the living room, leaning against the wall.

"I don't think so" you said with a yawn, stretching your arms over your head. "Did everyone go home?" you asked.

"Yeah, not too long ago, Lucas is just waiting for max to finish in the bathroom"

You nodded sleepily. Until you heard a cough come from the bathroom down the hall and your body immediately tensed. Steve felt your body stiffen against him and squeezed your shoulder. "S'okay babe"

You nodded again, taking a deep breath and trying to relax again. Maybe it was just a cough, that's possible, but when two more coughs came next with that unmistakeable sound you were quick up on your feet.

"Shit" Lucas muttered, racing towards the bathroom and knocking on the door before opening it, giving you a sliver of a second to catch Max on her knees in front of the toilet, confirming your anxieties, and sending you straight into panic mode. Staring back down at Steve like a deer in headlights, and he was quick to stand next to you, taking your shoulders in his hands and turning your whole body to face him.

"Go upstairs to my room yeah? I'll come get you when it's okay"

Your bottom lip wobbled as you ran up the stairs to Steves room, your feet thumping loudly against them and you didn't hesitate to slam the door behind you.

You start pacing and tried to control your breathing, counting how many steps it takes to cross each side of Steves room, until you don't even realize you're counting. You know you're being dramatic, and that what you feel is selfish, but it doesn't stop your body from going into fight or flight. Your skin feels wrong, and your clothes feel like they're covered in germs, and you strip yourself of them as quickly as you can, leaving you only in your bra and underwear.

"Fuck, shit, shit, shit" You mumble. "Come on, get your shit together"

You don't want Steve to see you like this, it's embarrassing, and if you could keep it hidden from him forever you would.

If feels like every possible germ Max could have been carrying is on you, on your skin, in the air, on every surface of the house. Hugging your arms around yourself you slide your hands up your arms, letting the nails drag across them harshly before digging them into your shoulders, knowing you're leaving half moon dents in your skin, but it's the only thing grounding you while sobs wrack at your chest.

It's been what feels like forever when Steve finally comes up stairs, knocking on the door lightly before entering and closing the door behind him like you two weren't now the only ones in the house.

He's confused at first when he takes in your trembling frame, almost nude in front of him pacing back and forth, and when he sees your face his heart breaks. Your cheeks are wet and splotchy, and he can tell you've been crying the entire time he's left you, and he's a little unsure of what to do.

"They're gone, everything's all good now" he said as reassuring as he could muster his voice to sound.

You shook your head, continuing pacing, your hands clenching and unclenching into tight fists. "N-No" you whimpered. "Max was leaning on me" you shake your hands out in frustration; as if everything you're feeling will leave through them if you shook them hard enough.

"I-I could get sick" you huffed. "God she touched so many things" when you stop pacing and cover your face with your hands, crying into them, Steve knows he can come over to comfort you. He wraps his arms around your shoulders tightly, one hand holding onto the back of your head like a small child while you cried harder into his chest.

You lean back from him, but don't push yourself away. "I want to rip my skin off" you said with a sob. "I'm hot, and it feels like the germs are festering on me" You whine.

"Do you want to shower? I can clean up downstairs?" He asks.

"I wont know if you've cleaned it all properly, I-I need to do it" you say looking at your hands, palms red with how tightly you've had them.

"What if you shower, and you tell me everything I need to do, so I can clean everything the way it needs to be done?" He says softly, taking your face into his hands, his thumbs sliding just under your jaw to push your chin up so he can look at you. You can smell the peach scented soap from the kitchen on his hands and you almost lose it at Steves thoughtfulness. The fact that he had washed his hands before coming back up to see you, getting one step closer to calming your nerves.

"You can follow me around the whole time, you wont have to touch anything" His eyes are searching yours, for anything at this point. New territory being discovered in your relationship and Steve being Steve he wants to fix it.

A new wave of tears blur your eyes and you look down to avoid Steves while a sob escapes you. No one had ever taken the time to learn, to try to understand, to even help you when you got like this. For so long it was something you hid, even to yourself, and now you're standing in front of someone who loves you so endlessly, that he's willing to do whatever it is to make sure that you're okay.

He pulls you back into his chest and you wrap your arms around him tightly, holding his t-shirt in tight fists where they land on his back. "I love you" You mumbled into him.

"What was that?" he said tucking his chin to his chest to look at you.

You leaned back from him once more, a small smile on your lips when you look up at him. "I love you" you repeat.

"I love you too baby" he said with a relieved sigh, thankful for the smile on your face. "Can I do this for you?" he asked.

"Yes please" you said with a huff. "I think that would be very helpful"

"Thank you" he said holding your wet face in his hands, leaning down to place a soft kiss on your lips.

You furrow your eyebrows "What are you thanking me for?"

"For trusting me enough to help you" he said with a shrug, intertwining his fingers with yours while he lead you to the bathroom, starting the shower and bringing fresh towels for when you got out.

"Has anyone ever told you that you're the best boyfriend ever?" you ask, wrapping your arms around his neck, fingers twirling in the hair at its base.

He laughed, leaning forward and bringing his arms behind you to unclip your bra. "Can't say anyone has" He continues to undress you, no heat or tension with his movements, just love.

"Alright" he said kissing the top of your head. "You are now shower ready"

"Can you shower with me?" You ask sweetly.

"Of course" Steve says quickly, impossible to say no to you.

The two of you shower mostly in silence, but it's peaceful. The sound of the water and the way Steve massages the foamy shampoo into your hair has you on the brink of sleep. His hands soft between the wet tendrils on your head, his thumb smoothing down the back of your neck, pressing into the tired muscle gently. Sore from the stiff tension you held while panicking, and you groaned feeling your body finally start to relax. You felt like you were floating, barely hearing Steve when he asked you to turn around so you could rinse the shampoo out.

When your shower is finished, Steve makes sure to dress you in only his clothes, freshly folded in his laundry basket, still waiting to be put away from early in the day.

He sits down on his bed with a notepad in his lap, and a pen at the ready?

"What's that for?" you ask, scrunching as much water as you can out of your hair with one of the towels.

"Give me my list, what do I gotta do"

You blush, feeling a little embarrassed, but still you sit next to him with a sigh. "I'm going to sound crazy okay? And it's going to sound so stupid, because germs don't ever bother me, until it's this" you say waving your hand in the air around you.

"I like a little crazy" he said with a smirk and a shrug. "NUMBER ONE" he says loudly while numbering his paper.

You go on to tell him all the things you do when you do the cleaning yourself. You clean every surface you can think of that the person has touched, or potentially touched. Doorknobs, the doorframes, the faucets in the bathroom, and in the kitchen, any dish they've used. The toilet (obviously) the floor around it, the tank of the toilet, the handle. He writes it all down as quickly as you say it, words tumbling out of your mouth in fear that if you stop you'll overthink it too much and make yourself feel worse about your phobia.

And he does it all, he cleans everything, and maybe a little bit more diligently than you would and it makes your heart swell that he'd do this for you. A Saturday night where the two of you would have been tucked up in his bed, limbs tangled around each other, but instead he's scrubbing every inch of the island in his kitchen without a care in the world. He even goes as far as to disinfect the outside handle of the front door "just incase" All because he's hopelessly, and endlessly in love with you, and you couldn't be more head over heels in love with him.

[alpaca-clouds]

Kids in certain media spaces/fandoms

While a certain part of my dash has this discussion - and I have heard some friends (like real world physical friends), who are in their mid 20s complain about this too - let me just try and put everyone's minds at ease: Yes, it is perfectly normal for "kids" (read = teens, maybe tweens) to consume supposedly "adult" media. And with that I mean, well... try and be a part of certain fandoms, that technically are based on media they are not old enough for if we go by rating.

Most currently I have seen the discussion arise around both Hazbin Hotel and Baldur's Gate 3. Honestly, I am not sure about the English rating system for video games, as in Germany we use the same one for games and other media, with Hazbin being "16+" and BG3 being rated "18+" over here.

And yet, obviously, there is a ton of kids younger than that hanging in those fandom spaces - and some people are very "concerned" about this.

Meanwhile I am sitting here like: "Yeah, I watched 18+ stuff at age 13 or 14 as well. Watched 16+ stuff even earlier, even though I was not allowed. And don't get me started on the books I read at age 10."

And every person who I have seen being "concerned" about this has openly admitted that, yes, they have consumed some media that technically legally they were not supposed to be exposed to at that inappropriate age, too, but "that's different". Usually this will be followed by some arguments about the abuse-themes in either piece of media.

And I am like: "Yeah, but that is actually a good thing, right? Both Hazbin and BG3 call out romantic/sexual abuse out as what it is. They show it as abusive and destructive. That is a good thing for teens to learn about." Because let me tell you one thing: No, the fact that I read 18+ Smut manga as a kid did not fuck me up. But you know what fucked me up? That back then a lot of those smut manga had stories that featured abusive/toxic relationships that were depicted as normal or even good. Because, yeah, to me when I was 14 it was indeed not quite comprehensible why my then bf doing the same stuff I read about in those manga made me feel bad. Took me into my 20s to realize what was going on there.

Sure, I kinda get what people are on about when it comes to "but what about grooming?" But... Like, most of the big fandom grooming things that happened where in kiddy-fandoms. Like, the cases I know about where in the fandoms of Pokémon and My little Pony. Because... Let's face it. The person going out of their way to groom a kid will more likely just go into one of those kid-friendly fandoms and find their victim there, than going for the teens in "adult fandoms".

I kinda feel like people are overthinking this. It is just something that happens and will always happen. Especially teens will take some interest in "adult" shows, movies and games. That always was like that and always will be like that. It was like that before the internet even, only that getting your hands at it got easier with the internet.

... Also, keep in mind that generally speaking, those age ratings are not exactly based on science, but instead mostly on moral outcry. Do I think that a 13yo will be able to comprehend the entire story of Angel Dust? Nope, probably not. And that is fine. Do I think that watching Hazbin, that is mostly rated the way it is because the characters cuss a lot, there are sexual themes and cartoony violence, will actually harm most 13yos? Nope, probably not.

Look, I do not feel comfortable with teens in most of my fandom spaces either. Especially those fandom spaces where the media deals with some adult topics. So, for the most part, I just do try to avoid interacting with them.

Just do the same. You will not be able to keep the teens out. Not by shaming them, and not by shaming their parents. And unless you want the parents to 24/7 watch their kids online (which you cannot want if you care about queer kids)... Just relax. If those kids really bother you, block and move on.

[i-want-my-iwtv]

(continued) I damn near exploded with anger, but also was able to concede how someone could come to that conclusion.

Hmm. I hope you're being hyperbolic, Anon, I mean, I'm glad you didn't explode with anger on your friend, and I'm glad you conceded how someone might come to the conclusion that there is/are problematic content/elements in a gothic horror story/series. 😬

I don't think this was a question, more of a confession/comment? I censored it for reasons below*. Whether it's IWTV canon, the '94 movie, the 2022 TV show, etc... I would say that if you enjoy it, allow that your friend has made a comment and you can talk with them about why they think it's bad, that could be an interesting conversation if it's in good faith!

I can say that in general, these stories/characters/ships are not intended to appeal to everyone, I consider canon to be a buffet where I can pick and choose what I like and skip over what I don't!

TL;DR: Don’t Like, Don’t Read. Applies to you, your friend, etc. Hopefully it won't cost you your friendship, but if it does, well, life goes on. I am not comfortable discussing certain topics publicly because fandom is a hostile environment at this time, and I come here for a fun little escape from reality in my limited free time, not to police anyone or be policed myself.

[^X by @bluebellofbakerstreet)

Hit the jump for more, cut for length.

~~~

*So, I wanted to take this as quick opportunity to share some thoughts on answering asks like these, because there is some fresh blood in the fandom who may not be aware... Assuming Anon wanted to ask if I agreed with their friend or not, the question wasn't quite clear. In general:

I've been in fandom long enough that I can say that the intention for questions like these is sometimes good, to spark intriguing conversations about how ~X problematic thing~ applies to various ships, whether it's harmful to the characters or maybe just part of their nature as vampires, so it's normal for them (as an example, "Was Armand cutting off Nicki's hands an abusive act, or is that a standard punishment that a coven master would commonly do to aberrant vampires? He didn't gloat about it, and he did return/reattach them after all!"), etc.... in other times, this could be a chance for an intellectually stimulating conversation and I would have enjoyed unpacking it with ppl.

Other times, especially currently in 2024 (to timestamp this), these questions are often in bad faith as a means to provoke an unwinnable debate; pinning a fan of a piece of media (the target/person) into defensive position of ~X problematic thing~ in fiction, which often becomes a slippery slope to accuse that target/person of "promoting/endorsing/supporting ~X problematic thing~ in real life!" This is then used to vilify the target/person when they insist that "Fiction is not reality," "Depiction is not endorsement," etc. etc.. As the person continues to defend themselves the bad faith actors escalate their harassment, this is fun sport for them. This can lead to dogpiling on the target/person with hateanons, online character/reputation assassination, or even real life consequences including doxxing. All this over a piece of fiction. It's extremely risky, it's entrapment, I have seen it happen and been a mild target for it over the years, it's unpleasant at best and ruinous at worst.

And I’ll also quote the description from @ozhawkauthor of one of The 3 Laws of Fandom, which applies to canon, fanfic, adaptations, all fiction!:

The First Law of Fandom Don’t Like; Don’t Read (DL;DR) It is up to you what you see online. It is not anyone else’s place to tell you what you should or should not consume in terms of content; it is not up to anyone else to police the internet so that you do not see things you do not like. At the same time, it is not up to YOU to police fandom to protect yourself or anyone else, real or hypothetical. There are tools out there to help protect you if you have triggers or squicks. Learn to use them, and to take care of your own mental health. If you are consuming fan-made content and you find that you are disliking it - STOP.

I used to wrap things up by saying smtg positive like "Let's all get along!" but that in itself was picked on for some reason, so I'll just end it here ✨

[alantea87]

First newspaper purchase in over 10 years...

Wowsa, I didn't expect that using a Nokia flip phone would lead me to newspapers, lol. As I giggled at myself in M&S today buying this, I asked myself why tf am I even laughing? It's super normal to buy and read newspapers - like we did in pre-smartphone days. Normalising digital touchscreens have obviously made newspaper sales plummet over the past decade, which I think is quite sad. And the only people I see reading newspapers are those over the age of 30. These days, I think, being seen with a purchased newsaper (not the free ones given out at tube stations) is like an act of rebelion or protest against our obsessions with screens - you included iPad! I can't help but smile at those who clutch a newspaper while drinking a coffee on a London street (not literally, as I would have had the police called on me). All I think is: "Gosh darn it, go you! Defy those big tech companies! No cap!)

Gen Z's obsession with screens have enabled their unbiquitous use; they blend seemlessly throughout the fabric of modern life. Which in turn has created a deep-set reliance (both emotional and phsical). Though smartphones truly do have their place in society (rapid comms, mapping, safety, for certain types of employment etc), but I do forget that once you're neck-deep as a consumer in the attention-economy... the ones who truly benefit are tech companies making money from your micro-transactions or by exposing you to endless ads. This isn't new, but I always forget this and it makes me feel icky.

I miss... 1. The tangible nature of print media that you can read without fear of anyone grabbing it and running away (London smartphone mentality). 2. Being able to read a newspaper in sunlight without the need to turn up your screen brightness, or turn it down to save battery. 3. Reading detailed, well-researched stories/reports (as opposed to breaking-news with minimal facts). 4. Being able to stuff a newspaper in your tote bag and feel a bit old-fashioned sometimes. 5. Feeling offline.

This week's updates:

I've been using my Nokia 2660 Flip for three weeks, now

I can text much faster (with the aide of predictive text, which isn't perfect but always a nice compromise with not using my iPhone)

General anxiety continues to drop (I thought social media didn't really affect me negatively, but evidentally I am wrong)

I prefer writing (with bad grammer, sorry) over posting stories on Instagram - most people know that I am quite expressive/animated in person (and I enjoy face-to-face conversations much more)

I am reading more (Kindle) and listening to music most evenings to wind down (as opposed to doom-scrolling, as I literally can't)

Sleep is deeper and more consistent, less physical tension

My mind now wonders more, especially during times where I used to use an iPhone to entertain me/stop boredom. I have in fact embraced more moments of boredom and has allowed me to absorb my environment more and what is happening around me

YouTube is still social media (my brain has decided so), thus still overstimulating and kinda exhausting to use (choice paradox all over again) - avoding it most days

General focus has improved week-on-week. I am more deliberate with my entertainment options and I am fully engrossed without the sudden urge to check my phone (because my Nokia can only call and text, lol)

Planning on getting a Zach Bryan related tattoo, cos I am crazy and a fangirl. Maybe just the title of my favourite EP of his: 'Quiet, Heavy Dreams' on my inner left forearm. Some deep meaning for me there, too. But will discuss another time

Invisalign treatment will be complete by first week of July (just a few months to go!) After which I will recieve my retainers and will be sent away with full mouth-freedom. Queue the song: WAP by Cardi and Meghan #sideeye

Speak soon.

Love, Alan. x

[kimtaegis]

Annie, first off: LOTS OF LOVE TO YOUUUUUUU!!! You're the best. Don't let anyone tell you differently. 💜

To some of the anons here: There is this misnomer, especially in Ch. 2 that all BTS fans are super young, TikTok gen folks. And we're not. A lot of us are actually way older than you'd think, and have been around for a long time.

The way you consume content, and the way we consume content are wholly different. And more often than not, our experiences IRL colour the way we process whatever content is being out out. Which is why I am STRUGGLING to like anything Jungkook has released so far. And I am not excited for whatever is coming.

It might be very difficult to grasp that I can want for Jungkook to do whatever he wants to artistically, but also not want to personally consume any of it. But it is the truth.

It is possible to absolutely adore the boys, but not relate to everything they say or do. That's life. That's how healthy fandoms & healthy fan cultures work. We are not a cult. Please don't be in here telling people that they should behave like they are in one.

hehe first off THANK YOU AND I LOVE YOU!! 🥰

and second, yes, you have such a big brain, the things you pointed out are so very accurate and also exactly reflect how I feel about jungkook’s current projects for example! I’ve been quite a fan of the term “nuanced” in all of this as one might already noticed; there’re layers to enjoying and loving an artist and just generally consuming any kind of media or art, it’s absolutely not black and white. positive and negative feelings and thoughts can in fact co-exist, crazy! lol

the thing is that I’m very sure most of the fans in this tumblr community here know that and feel the same way as us, but yet still feel like they’re not allowed to express it freely in fear of getting attacked by, well, less reasonable armys, who like to be loud and impolite and even mean. which is why I think it’s important to be at least just as present as them, to speak up and make this nuanced (there it is again) exchange within the fandom something safe, respectful and just simply normal

[high-theyre-frendough]

ABOUT THE BLOG

For a while, I was posting random high thoughts on my main account, but decided, why not make a dedicated page for that kind of content. So, this is my 🍃 account. I will never post or respond here if I am sober or think I am too sober. That way, it is authentic.

MY NAME

If you don’t follow me, call me the avocado bandit. if you do follow me, you must call me the avocado king. becoming a follower makes me your king.

ABOUT ME

I am an adult and I consume weed to help with my C-PTSD & depression. Also for silly time because silly brain is fun. I am a trans guy and I use He/It/Xe pronouns. I would prefer it if minors did not interact here, but I suppose I cannot be too mad if someone comes across a funny out-of-context post. This is under the assumption that I can be funny. I will try to avoid posting here while not high. This includes writing this pinned post.

We have DID and sometimes post about it. However, that is not what this blog is focused around.

DNI

If you are transphobic/TERF/trans-med or otherwise an obnoxious cisgender person (fuck it, especially the CISHETS) then you can go bye-bye.

If think you can be a system without childhood trauma, also bye bye. This account is not the place for this drama, but trust me I have a nuanced opinion on the topic. But I don't wanna deal with it on this account.

If you homophobic, good bye bitch. Also if you exclude asexuals or non-binary people, then fuck off. Go eat a used gym sock.

If you are racist or xenophobic, I hope that your teeth rot out of your mouth, leaving you to only eating bland soup, as you are no longer allowed to enjoy foods from other cultures.

If you are trans-id I would appreciated if you identified as blocked.

If you are pro ana or sh it would be cool if you got help instead of glorifying it online.

If you are a pedo, it would be pretty fucking cool if you got on a boat to the center of the ocean, tied cinder blocks to your feet, and entered the water.

TAG GUIDE

Different types of posts will use the following tags for the following things. If you follow, feel free to block whichever ones you like. Don’t expect everyone to like everything, so here it is for your convenience.

#♻️ gilded profoundness -> These are posts which are meant to be meaningful, even though they probably are not.

#♻️ descriptions -> directly describe the experience of bring high

#♻️ weird -> weird things said while high that are probably stupid on purpose

#♻️ capitalism -> sometimes when i'm high i am thinking about capitalism too hard and confuse myself. should i put "we"??? we are a system but will not talk about it on this account much, so idk if it is relevant? should i add things to confuse? never mind

#♻️ realizations -> things i did not think about before

#♻️ realizations but traumatic -> tmw you have a ptsd flashback while high and then recover and you are still high and also kinda dissociating and you sit there and you think about what you just now realize was trauma cause you thought it was normal but no, it fucking was not, but you're high so you just write it down somewhere so you remember it, then you go back to thinking about silly high things, or consume strange media cause you're high and that's fun to do while high.

#♻️🍆 spicy -> horny posts. probably won't post much of that here as we have a separate blog for horny thoughts, but if it is here it'll be tagged

#♻️ reblog -> posts i reblogged

#♻️ memes -> usually have to do with venting but not always

#♻️ real time -> describing things as they are happening or just happened.

#♻️ free space -> Concepts to write about for entertainment.

#♻️ ask response -> if someone said something that would be nice but do not be mean please

#♻️ agere -> sometimes baby brain takes over. soft fuzzy high brain easily becomes little baby. sfw!!!! (note that this blog is not 100% sfw, though when i do regress, it is in a sfw way)

#♻️ paranoid -> will also be tagged with common tags just in case for filtering. i just realized that if someone follows, and the block some of these tags, this pinned post will be hidden cause i have those tags pinned for convenience

#♻️ neutral -> idk a specific label

#♻️ walmartposting - Its a place for stoners to exercise aimlessly.

#♻️ upset -> vent or something idk

#♻️ dissociative stuff -> stuff about DID. usually syscourse. figured i might as well make a tag for it since we get riled up while high on occasion.

#♻️ yeee 🍺 -> alcohol was involved

[livinglibertytoday]

Living Liberty Today with Charlie Earl

Celebrity

Hollywood stars, singers and musicians, athletes, and influencers are some of the most recognized for their status as celebrities. Predictably and sadly, some politicians become celebrities of sorts by relentlessly pursuing cameras and microphones. Some celebrities manage to become superstars in more than one realm: Taylor Swift in music and pro football, Mark Harmon in football and acting, Troy Aikman in football and commentary, and Charles Barkley in basketball and general annoyance. The realm of celebrity seems endless. Take Joey Chesnut, for example. One can get famous and be celebrated for consuming insane numbers of hotdogs (hooves, horns and various scraps of animals plus buns) in a short amount of time. Obviously, actively pursuing a coronary can lead to celebrity status.

Personally, I suspect that a lot of celebrity following borders on idolatry…a dangerous development in the eyes of God. Even if the celebration does not approach worship, too much weight is often given to the opinions of the celebrated. While they may possess extraordinary talent in a given field and may have diligently strived to enhance their skills or craft, it doesn’t necessarily follow that their knowledge or insight translates into other areas of life. If you have met a ‘famous’ person, you have probably noticed that they are generally normal. Perhaps they wear better makeup or are in better shape physically than other people but are like the rest of us in many respects. They are not worthy of worship or extreme fawning adoration. Those actions should be reserved for Jesus Christ and the Godhead.

Why am I discussing this now when so many other issues warrant attention? It’s because I fear that our reliance on the Main Street Media and it’s bastardized offspring the social media have corrupted the thought process for many of us. Our judgement and reasoning have been shelved because we rely on the media glitter to inform our decision making. As a result, we embrace shallow concepts and remedies that are advanced by shallow, thoughtless, and nefarious advocates. Wisdom seems lacking, and discernment is rare, thus our lives and our nation will be sorely shortchanged.

Final note: Through the years I have met many politicians, entertainers, and sports heroes. When I found myself becoming enchanted, I pictured them having a bowel movement. Poof!!! The moment passed (pun intended). Picturing one of their most human endeavors allowed me to escape the charm trap. Suffice it to say, people or celebrities are not the subjects of my faith.

[ridiculoustrainsofthought]

Yes I am obsessed, but just some lingering thoughts as a follow up to this post. I know The Legend says a student (who we know now is Brian) found the script in the basement of the school, and in the true spirit of horror stories, it must have been cursed! The boy was consumed by it and showed it to his teacher, she then became obsessed with it and wouldn't take no for an answer until it was performed. But honestly? Even the legend brings up the question of if that's actually the beginning of the story. I wonder if the truth is Brian wrote the story himself, in that middle school starting fanfic writer type way where his story takes a lot from the media he enjoys, which seems to be a combination of classic literature references based mostly on Phantom of the Opera. Fitting for his character, especially since he has a wider vocabulary than the kids supposedly his own age, and while that could just be chalked up to him being at school for the last 70 years, I like the idea of him being like that in life too. But he's so awkward and tells Brooke how being a nervous rambler might be a good trait for an actor because that means when he's nervous on stage, he's just got words pouring out of him. And I've heard of that being real advice how sometimes kids with anxiety or speech problems might build confidence from acting lessons.

It's likely that Brian wrote the script and his teacher Ms. Walker was touched to see this normally why kid want to trust her with his first attempt at art. And it's actually really good! So not only does she decide they can do it, but he should be The Phantom as it's only fair. But he's so shy and nervous, maybe she's the one who started the rumor that they just found it because he didn't want the attention (or maybe if he was starring in it, she didn't want to make the other kids jealous.) It would also explain why she protected the script, perhaps even the original script, all these years because this was his. It's would just add another layer of heartache and meaning to why saving THIS story was so important because it felt like destroying something so personal to him would be like destroying his memory. And if both were true, they must have been very close for him to want to show her the script first like he was proud of it but maybe not even his own family knew about it.

Which also makes me wonder since we realized the twist was that Brian wasn't the one pranking rehearsals and actually did want the show to go on,big maybe all these years he's actually been protecting students during their shows. He did bring up he's "new which is rare" so he's definitely come out before. It's not like opening the trap door disturbed his resting place, he just refuses to go below stage despite knowing it can't hurt him anymore. I wonder what draws him out then. Just whenever someone proposed they try The Phantom again only for it to be shot down? Was it to sometimes visit Ms. Walker with her being the "Madame Giry" equivalent until her passing and now we've got a "Meg" in her granddaughter having grown up with less fear and more fascination about The Legend? Was it whenever there was a threat like now with pranksters or bullies and Brian slips into the student body to fix things before supposedly moving away? He doesn't seem to make friends often, or maybe he means he doesn't normally get attached to students because he's afraid of being found out (he really only got close with Brooke because he fell hard and fast and felt a need to stay with her) but I wonder if he got lonely during the summer seasons when the place goes quiet. Or maybe he enjoys it because he has free reign of the place and that's when he got to practice his lines and act out the whole show as he kept dreaming? Maybe he just did a lot of reading. I don't think he ever went into hibernation since he actually tells Brooke later how all the lonely years were worth it since this bizarre phenomenon allowed him to meet her from decades apart.

Either way, my heart. 💔

[my-so-called-life-ivan-edition]

Entry 4: Obsession

"i usually solve problems by letting them devour me"

-Franz Kafka

Dear Diary,

Today, we're making an early post because I passed out last night. I feel the need to talk about obsession and how it controls my life. To start, I don't think that a day goes by when I am not obsessing over something. Usually its some form of media that I focus on for a long period of time. It consumes me. It engraves itself into my soul becoming part of me until I have sucked out any ounce of joy that I have felt for the content, leaving myself with this innate feeling of emptiness. Without my obsessions, I feel like a shell of my former self. Like I'm not even human. The days start to feel dull and bland. I feel like everything loses color when I don't have something that i am constantly fawning over. There is nothing to occupy my mind. Nothing to distract me from the thoughts and issues that constantly rattle around in my head. No one to daydream about, to allow me to rant to something other than the echoing void in my bran. Nothing to distract me from the dullness of everyday life. I obsess over many things, whether it be characters, shows, games, movies. When I am not focused on those, my back up "obsessions" tend to be every single problem that I have in my day to day life. It consumes me. I dwell on the issue, while doing nothing to solve it. I allow myself to rot while the problem consumes my very being. Flesh, bones, and all. I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't need my obsessions to feel human. I wonder if one day, they'll all be gone and I can feel like myself without having my life being driven by media. I always say to my friend "you really haven't seen that?!" whenever I mention some form of media that I believe to be popular, forgetting that I am the odd one out in the situation. Forgetting that my want to consume all forms of media to distract myself from my day to day life isn't something that everyone experiences. I try to brush it off by just saying that I'm a "movie buff" or a "film geek" but none of that is true. Whenever i watch a new form of media, it is because I am looking for something new to consume me. Looking for something new to occupy my mind and devour me from the inside out. Looking for something to absorb into my personality to then be forgotten in the back of my mind months down the line. I have always wondered why my friend can never keep track of the shows that I want her to watch, but then I realise that I keep telling her to watch a different one every week. It reminds me that not everyone needs to drown out the thoughts in their head to feel like they can function. I wish that I knew why I was like this. i wish that I didn't need to let something consume my thoughts to feel like myself. i wish I could like things on a normal level without feeling like I need to know everything about it. Without having to consume all forms of content revolving around the subject. I want to like things like a normal person. I want to purge myself of the obsessions, but who would I be once you strip those away from me? Who am I even with these obsessions. Certainly not myself. I don't think I have ever been myself, and I don't think I ever will be. Maybe it's best if I just let my obsessions consume me. Flesh, bones, and all.

[dysfunctjon]

I can accept that being lovable doesn’t mean everyone will love me. It hurts. That is a normal human emotion. Pain is a normal human emotion, and that is what i’m experiencing. It’s just simply pain and doesn’t define who I am, nor my future, nor anything.

As Hard as this may be, it really is just the first day. I am allowed to struggle and to feel bad. Shit, I had good times. I had really good and fun times! And they made me feel good. But sometimes things aren’t meant to be, and that’s okay. My pain will not last forever. My grieving and mourning will not last forever. I am allowed to feel this because I cared! I loved hard! I truly tried my best, so that’s really all that mattered.

Again, sometimes things aren’t meant to be. Instead of letting this control my life, how about I frame it like this:

She felt like my world but the truth is? She is just another person. She was my person, but now she is not. I was attached to her, and I am revising myself not to be that way anymore. As painful as this may be right now, it’s only temporary. This is just where I’m at right now, but this too shall pass. Time is gonna pass anyways, so why should I just sulk and mourn for someone that really wasn’t good for me? I know that I’m scared, but I’m going to get through this situation scared. Petrified, even.

Now that she’s gone, what can I do freely? I can:

*hang out with my friends as much as I want

*dress however I want and be promiscuous and provocative

*really get focused on my future instead of feeling as if I’m held back

*not focus on social media so much and let it consume me, especially online relationships

I’ve done this many times before. I really thought it was the end of my world! But look at me now—I’ve had ups and downs and unfortunately have found myself in the same place. But guess what? I know what to do. This is only a learned experience. I will continue to learn. It will all be okay even if it doesn’t feel like it. I will live and I will survive.

[vtori73]

Saw JJK spoilers &... I REALLY want to read the new chapter now 😭😭😭

I don't mind angst/dark story lines though, so I'm actually looking forward to it but I will say I was/am hoping for a sort of twist ending where things turn out okay with JJK despite how much dark stuff happens BUT I can't say I have high hopes for that currently but regardless I really don't necessarily mind.

Regardless of if things go to shit or turn out okay I would like for the other woman characters to get more limelight before dying (because everyone/main are dying most likely so I don't think killing off the girl/woman characters is necessarily a bad thing but like... give them more screentime especially since there are more male characters so it's little uneven).

__________________

Not 100% related but reminds me of thoughts I had when I saw someone talking about how basically because it's shonen you shouldn't bother with complaining/critiquing about sexism in the medium because it is meant for boys... okay that isn't EXACTLY what they said but it's honestly what it amounts to (or maybe it was basically what they said, Idk, I have one pretty shitty memory).

And it just reminds me of when people have legit criticisms of western cartoons, specifically racism, and people will disregard the criticism because 'its a cartoon, what do expect it for kids it not serious etc," and like.... do y'all not personally care what our kids (I don't have kids, I'm using 'our kids' because regardless of if I or you have kids or not all adults are responsible for children to some capacity because I believe in community & how we are responsible for each other especially marginalized people like disabled ones) are consuming media wise because... that's concerning.

I do get that some people don't believe that media doesn't have any influence on us though & that's honestly fine ur allowed to think whatever BUT regardless you should realize that while that argument does work for adults doesn't work too well with kids whose whole purpose while being kids is to learn as much as they can from the stuff around them because they are new humans who don't know anything that hasn't been taught to them.

Sure you can argue it's the parents job to make sure they are watching the right kind of stuff & I agree to an extent because yes parents should be aware of what their kids watch for various reasons but also should be making sure they arent watching stuff that is not meant for their age BUT that's as far I think it should go because once you start controlling EVERY SINGLE THING your kid can watch, read, etc it starts to feel to them less like your protecting them and more like you don't trust them & want complete control over their lives (which I the case for some parents honestly, many people see their children as things/objects and no as individual humans).

Now yes, it is the parents job to make sure their kids don't get the wrong ideas & speak with them about what they read, watch, etc BUT that's putting a lot of responsibility on just what is normal 1-2 people. Which is why I said this is a community problem, not just a parent one because they aren't magically able to know everything about their kid & honestly they probably shouldn't because kids should be entitled to privacy just like adults are.

And also not to mention not all adults have the time or resources to be able to discuss with their kids about the media they are consuming all the time or at all such as poor and/or disabled parents/guardians and NO the solution to that is not 'poor/disabled shouldn't have kids" because thats just eugenics and you should feel bad for thinking only rich people are allowed to have children.

So besides just talking with kids about what they consume media wise I think what is also very important to this topic is that we SHOULD be encouraging critique of what is being made, advertised, marketed towards children so that this stuff CAN improve & so that regardless of who the kid and their background they aren't continued being spoon fed shitty regressive ideas unchallenged.

Also also reminds me of some people claiming ANYONE who feigns concern for media targeted to kids is just fox news/republicans who just hate gay people & yeah they do use the argument of concern for kids A LOT as an excuse for bigotry BUT can we admit it's a faux concern? Like can we TRY to learn there is a difference between faux and real genuine concern and learn to spot it because it REALLY isn't that hard, tbh.

[xcheshiregrinnx]

hey howdy a new addition to the boy toy collection!

[buck-yyyy]

deep breaths deep breaths deep breaths-

*sound of a glass breaking*

DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY WE CARE SO FUCKING MUCH?

we care because we. have. been. there. so many of us are queer, SO FUCKING MANY OF US ARE YOUNG AND QUEER AND SEE OURSELVES IN THESE CHARACTERS AND WANT TO FEEL REPRESENTED- BECAUSE WE HAVE NOT BEEN GIVEN THAT PRIVILEGE OUR ENTIRE LIVES.

for the majority of the last forty, fifty, sixty years, the entire fucking history of television, we have not been allowed to be happy on screen- that is, if we're allowed to be on the screen at all. if there's a gay character, chances are, they're either going to die, be an unimportant background character, or only exist as a tragic love story that was made to further a straight relationship. or they're just a straight up pervert, or pedophile, or depicted horribly because god forbid queer people be normal people and not sexual deviants.

i am queer. i have a good relationship with my sexuality. i am privileged enough to have always had a good relationship with my sexuality.

HOW FUCKING EVER.

i am completely unable to picture my life as a middle aged queer person, because i have never been allowed to see that in the media i consume. in the majority of modern media, we're not shown being happy, we're not shown living good lives, we're not shown being happy and content- and it fucking. sucks.

do you know how fucking scary that is? how alienating it is, to never be able to see yourself well-represented in television?

we have come a long way. there are more queer characters on screen than there have ever been. but we are still outnumbered a hundred to one.

you say this like mike is a real person. you act like we're pedophilic weirdoes for caring about this shit, when in reality, so many of us are around the same age as these characters- and even if you're not, who fucking cares. you're just spouting the same homophobic rhetoric that has been around for decades, that queer people prey on children or, again, are some kind of horrific sexual deviants.

it would be different if mike was a real person- but he's not. he is a television character. he is not real. speculating on a real person's sexuality is fucking creepy. speculating on a character's sexuality is not.

here's why i care about them being queer.

i care about will being happy because i've been there. i've fallen for my best friend, fell in love with her. i repressed it. i buried it. told myself it was just a crush that'll go away, because you're not meant to fall in love with your best friend, and certainly not if it's unrequited- doubly so if you're both girls. i care about will being happy because i wish i could have treated myself better for it, because i want the young queer kids who are experiencing that very same thing to have someone on screen to see that it's not your fault, that there's nothing wrong with you, that you deserve to be loved in return and you can be.

i care about mike being gay because i've been there. i've tried to repress parts of myself in the hopes that they'll just go away, that it'll disappear and then i can just be normal again like everyone else. i push people i care about away because i refuse to believe that they wouldn't hate me for how i feel about them, because i hated myself for it.

to the person who posted that comment, fuck you. fuck you a thousand times over again.

if you've never had to worry about being seen on screen, you do not get an opinion on why this matters so much to us.