#why get therapy when you can watch markiplier

[quodekash]

I FELL ASLEEP FOR A FEW MINUTES BUT WE'RE BACK IN BUSINESS BABEYYYY LETS KEEP GOIGN ON EPISDOE 9

THE WAY HE SLIDES UNDER THE WATER TO AVOID ANSWERING THE QUESTION

I LOVE HIM SO SO MUCH OML

noooooo dontttt

you should make outttt

nooooooooooooo

pleaseeee I just want you two to kiss and make out and be in love, and it'll be a LOT easier if youre stuck in a confined space with each other

YYYYYYYESSSSSS

SO THEN NOW THEYRE GONNA SHARE THE MOTORCYCLE???

EEEEEEEEE IM SO EXCITED

IM SO EXCITED FOR THE PUTTING-ON-HELMET TROPE AND THE WAIST-GRABBING TROPE

GOIUREDHSGPIOVKREND

he cARES ABOUT HIM

oh, what's that sound? nothing, its just me sobbing my soul out

bestie you're so in love with him

WAIT

HANG ON A SECOND

OMG

EVEN MORE SOUNDWIN/GUYNAWA PARALLELS

LOOK AT THAT FREAKING EXPRESSION ON GUY'S FACE

B O O M

aaaaaaaaaaaa soundwin/guynawa parallels may be the death of me

D U D E

this feels so intentional

nawa so badly wanted them to have a stargazing date

the way they speak in sync is so insane

they're like literally soulmates???

idk man, I think you should kiss. shooting star feels like a good reason to kiss

THEYRE GONNA COME BACK TOGETHER AND EVERYONE'S GONNA THINK THAT THEY SNUCK OUT TO GO ON A DATE TOGETHER OR WHATEVER

JUST LIKE IN MSP WHEN SOUNDWIN COME BACK AFTER WIN GIVES SOUND A RIDE FROM THE PHYSICAL THERAPY APPOINTMENT AND THEYRE ALL LIKE 'why did you guys get here together?? 🤔'

except this time I dont think they'll be as dense and stupid because the sexual tension literally oozes off of guy and nawa every time they interact

bitch did you not register the arm? bro is wounded and he obviously "didnt know where else to go" (aaaaa now my brain is going through classic enemies to lovers tropes)

broooo just kiss

you're looking at him so tenderly rn

d u d e

AWW, HE COULDNT SHOOT SOMEONE SO THEN HE GOT SHOT INSTEAD, AND ALSO LOOK AT HOW SAIFAH'S BUTTONING UP HIS SHIRT FOR HIM AAAA

the guy sitting next to you, that's what you can do

OH

OHHHH

OH THAT ADDS A WHOLE NEW LAYER TO THE THEORY

well, not really.

but its a very interesting detail!

SORRY

IM SORRY

BUT WHY DOES THIS GUY LOOK KIND OF LIKE MARKIPLIER

oh

well frick now im sad

o-oh

well frick now im SADDER

OKAY FINALLY

THEYRE FINALLY GONNA KISS AND ITS ACTUALLY GONNA BE GOOD

rfhghfghffhgbehsdbfhewbsdfhgaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhfebhgbehsbghbrs

YES

GOOD

YAYYYYYYY

FINALLYYYYYYY

guynawa's turn next pls

NOOOO DONT MAKE ME CRY WITH THE SHOT OF THE HANDS

FRICK

I love chimon's curly hair so so so much

B I T C H-

IM LOSING IT

THIS ENTIRE POST CREDITS SCENE IS FREAKING INCREDIBLE

I love cheesy pickup lines so much, but even more than that I love kang's ridiculously cheesy pickup lines, but even MORE than that I love sailom's reactions to kang's cheesy-ass pickup lines

so this is like. the greatest thing ever

yup

as per usual, for every single 12 episode bl ever, the actually insane stuff is gonna go down in episodes 10, 11 and 12

woohoo. can't wait.

(part of me just wants the fluffiness to continue but also part of me wants to get into the juicy drama of everything, you know? I love chaos so much)

WELL, EPISODE GOOD

I MANAGED TO WATCH IT IN JUST OVER 2 HOURS WHICH I THINK IS A NEW RECORD FOR SHORTEST TIME

and I shall be rewatching this episode once every single day until episode 10 comes out because I am feral 😊

goodnight folks!!

[jvstheworld]

My Ted Lasso Re-watch: S1E8 (part 2)

The Diamond Dogs

Jamie is back. Ted wanted him to stay, Rebecca wanted him gone to sabotage the team. But Jamie has fallen back into bad habits.

I don't think Keeley did anything really wrong by sleeping with Jamie. Don't come for me. From Keeley's point of view, she likes Roy, they kissed, but he has since been acting like he's brushing her off. So Keeley has gone back to someone who she knows likes her and can satisfy her own wants. She's not getting that from Roy because he's not communicating with her, despite her trying. She knows her and Jamie make good sexual partners, as she said in ep 6 that that was the only good thing about their relationship. She's is feeling rejected by Roy and wants someone who likes her. If Roy had just been honest from the start, she probably wouldn't have slept with Jamie.

If Ted is going to be likened to any dog, surely it's a chocolate labrador, not a Saint Bernard. I get the metaphor he's going for, but he is a chocolate lab.

Why are Ted's milk puns so funny? They are terrible dad puns, but they make me laugh every time. My own dad makes up terrible jokes, and I keep a straight face whenever he tells one of them. But with Ted, I always laugh. Maybe it's because of my seemingly unending thirst for Jason Sudeikis. Thank you Cinema Therapy for introducing me to this show, and fuck you for creating my hyperfixation for this show that's been going on for the past 3 months. (I really do love their channel. It's amazing and beautiful and funny and I have learnt so much from it. Thank you, Internet Dads).

When it comes to brand deals and sponsorships, I take the opinion that if you can pick and choose, pick things you actually like and will use in your everyday life. There's no point in selling a product you don't believe in.

I appreciate Isaac's love of Rolos. If you don't know, it's caramel inside a chocolate shell. But they taste good. I also like that Isaac has the same opinion about Sour Patch Kids as Markiplier does since they crossed him.

Sam just wants to be a good person because he is such a sweetie. This later translates to his protest against Dubai Air in season 2.

Colin, I can't believe I have to say this but, don't fuck your shoes.

[jayjaysoulconsumer42]

just drank way too much monster energy and thought i hallucinated markipliers existence and i got so fucking sad. like i was sitting on my bed weeping because i thought this man just never existed. then before i went to bed i searched markiplier on youtube and good god was i delighted that worlds 4th quietest let's play was real. never been so happy to hear mark i pliers say 'what the fuck is bagel race'

[vas-happenin-team]

my personal thoughts and experiences from Unus Annus, be warned this is long...

i apologize now if this is messy I am trying to get my thoughts in order so this is probably going to be ramble-y... One Year. There is so much that can change in one year and so many opportunities that pass us by and almost just as many regrets. And I am so glad I didn't let Unus Annus pass me by, even though it almost did. When i think of the past year I can't say that this was the year that I hope for but I definitely think this was the year I needed A a former friend of mine (who is a a HUGE Markiplier fan) tried to show me Unus Annus back in December. I think they showed me a couple videos but the one that stood out to me was the Escape Room video (probably for the fact that I was high, and thought Eef was very cute and very funny, but that's besides the point). I enjoyed the videos they showed me but a never really got into the channel and didn't watch anymore Unus Annus videos with them. I regret not watching more with them. At the time I knew who Markiplier was, I had watch his FNAF videos when I was younger and was subscribed. But I had no idea who Mark Fischbach as a person. And I had no idea who Crankgameplays or who Ethan Nestor was. I wasn't emotionally invested with them so I didn't really watch. A few months went by I was no longer in speaking terms with the friends who showed me the channel, the pandemic hit, I graduated college, i moved back home, i was unemployed, and incredibly lost. With graduating in May and being home all the time I spent more time on youtube. I don't remember how, but I ended back on Unus Annus again. And by July I was hooked. Not only did I began binge watching Unus Annus but I was also subscribed to Ethan, watched both his and mark’s videos, and become part of the different communities. As I am reflecting back on this time I can see how the message of Unus Annus, and  by extension Mark and Ethan, started to influence me and help me for the better. Cause I was, and still am, struggling with my mental health. While I don't want to give them all the credit, the idea of only having so much time and questioning myself on whether or not I wanted to be a passive on looker in my own life, lead me to discover just how unhappy i was. I decided to therapy and getting the help I needed. And while I am still not 100% and that the reminder that life is slipping us by and I feel like I wasting it still stresses me out and causes me anxiety. I have to remind myself that I am making progress, and while this isn't ideal, this is the best I can do at the moment. It also helps looking at both Ethan and Mark. Mark, who was around my current age, when he decided he was going to make something of himself, reminds me that it is never too late to give yourself a happy life. And Ethan, only a year older than me, is living his out his dreams currently, but that took him 8 years to get here. Ethan, who has a very similar personality to me (in fact i think our myer-briggs is the same) also reminds me that I don't have to hide the loud and silly parts of my personality and that I can find people who will accept the different parts of me and want to help me succeed. One of my favorite aspects of the show would be where they would say "Memento Mori. We will see you tomorrow." I think liked that so much because it was a concrete promise in a year of unpredictability. Because I knew for certain, that no matter what happened, I would see them tomorrow. And while we might no longer see them tomorrow when the channel ends. It still feels like a promise, because even with the channel gone, the world still turns and there is a still a tomorrow. A tomorrow where Ethan and Mark still upload on their channels. A tomorrow, even as time marches on, we will remember Unus Annus and how much it had an impact on our lives. Because one thing is for sure, we aren't all the same people we were a year before. We grew and changed and Unus Annus helped shaped a year of our lives. So while we won’t not be able to "see them tomorrow" in the future. The impact of the channel will be seen in the future by the millions of people that it had an impact on. Even in this last few months I have seen some positive changes in my own life. While I am normally a lurker in the different fandoms I am a part of. I stepped out of my comfort zone and started to interact and create more for the Unus Annus community than I had before. And I did this because of the idea of "why not, we only have a limited time" and I wanted to make my mark. While I still struggle to interact with other blogs outside a random response or anon message, I was still able to find some people in this fandom to follow and appreciate. Thank you to @johanna7290 , @heistshenanigans , @lady-raziel , @tiny-crecher , simpgameplays and so many more blogs who helped make my experience in this community even better by not just taking any moment for granted, and  really made the most of this year. Thank you as well to the blogs who have interacted with me on posts, sent anons, or even followed me. Thank you to the artist, the writers, the meme maker, the gif creators, the video editor, and the theorists for making this year even more unforgettable. 

  Finally to Ethan ( @crankgameplays), Mark (@markiplier), Amy, Evan, and all the editors and guests of the channel, thank you. Thank you for giving me something to look forward to everyday. Thank you for making something so full of love, humor, and friendship. Thank you for the laughs and the good times in a year where they were hard to come by. Thank you for the hidden codes and lore that kept us all on our toes. Thank you for challenging yourselves to go further beyond, and encouraging us to do the same. Thank you for introducing me to a community full of hilarious, smart, and caring individuals. Thank you guys for being authentic to yourselves.  Thank you for all the memories. Thank you for all the merch. Thank you for giving us a year. Unus Annus  Memento Mori ~Lexi

[locke-barmecide]

Ok ok big brain shinsai time:

So! Shuichi and Kiyo live together and the kg was a VR. They now are both in college, Kiyo for a teaching degree so he can become an anthropology professor. And Shuichi is taking classes that you need to become a true detective. (I’m not too sure if that makes sense so feel free to correct me) They are both in therapy and doing,,, better. Life is not good but it is better. Kiyo and Shuichi also live with Rantaro but he only is there for short periods of time in between his travelling. Now here’s the best part,, Kiyo has never played video games before. He did not have an extremely wealthy childhood and he was frankly quite closed off from the world so he really did not know what was popular. He has learned to use a laptop and he has a pc. Shuichi is not too big on games but has played a couple. (mostly Mario kart with Kaito, Maki, and Kokichi) Kiyo discovers fnaf. He learns about it while procrastinating studying and he’s instantly hooked. He immediately watches everything he can find about it. He watches markiplier play them all and he absolutely adores it. So,, he wants to play them too. He just doesn’t know how to get them. So he asks the closest person to him,, Shuichi. Shuichi of course helps Kiyo get it on his laptop and continues studying. Now their room is like this:

So Shuichi’s back is turned to Kiyo. And for a bit it’s silent but then he hears Kiyo do a little “Ah!” And is a tad confused. A little bit goes by and same thing. So of course he moves over to Kiyo and watches what he’s doing. They both get jumpscared. During the time that Shuichi is either taking breaks from studying or he’s bored he watches Kiyo play fnaf. Once Kiyo finishes the games he writes an entire essay on his theories for the games. He constantly infodumps about it to Shuichi and has posters of it covering his walls. Shuichi is unbothered by kiyos random fixations and he actually finds it cute that Kiyo likes a video game. Kiyo eventually creates a tumblr blog where he can excessively talk about his theories and talk with others about their thoughts. He has so much fnaf merchandise it’s impressive. Kiyo also shares this with Maki and gets her into it as well. She won’t admit she likes it but she has played the games and follows kiyos blog. Kiyo doodles fnaf related things while he’s bored as well. I’m not sure who his favourite character would be,, he might like baby.

Kaito hates this because he thinks it’s weird and scary and doesn’t understand why Kiyo and Maki like such strange scary things. Shuichi thinks it’s funny that Kiyo would like a video game in the first place. Kiyo also has pins that cover his school bag and his hat. He also has multiple pins attached to multiple jackets.

Why do I like this hc so much? Because I’m obsessed with Kiyo and danganronpa and I do this with stuff I like and so does he. Not to mention fnaf is definitely something he would like. It fits his vibe. Shuichi listens to him info dump so often. Kiyo tries very hard not to info dump when they go on dates,,

Kokichi likes fnaf too. He’s more involved with the fandom than Kiyo is but he’s part of the strange part of the fandom while Kiyo is part of the analytical part of the fandom. Kokichi claims it can’t scare him but he jumps while playing it.

Kiyos favourite game is sister location. He likes how different but similar it is to the other games.

If you read this all then thank you for listening.

Feel free to add!!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #348

“nothing will be free  /  nothing will be done  /  black out the sun”

Do you have any famous relatives? My third or so cousin is the author of Not Without My Daughter, but she's not like a smash hit or anything that most people know. I really do recommend the book, though. It's a long read, but a beautiful, true story. Do you care about celebrity gossip? Nah. Have you ever failed a science course in high school? No; I was very good at science. What’s your favorite breakfast food? Cinnamon rolls. Does your house have a basement? No. No house I've ever lived in has had one. Do you like Hot Topic? Well duh. Do you think imagination is valuable? VERY! Just imagine how many incredible things wouldn't exist without it. What was your reaction to your first time falling in love? Unspeakably happy, and I felt like I was building a future with someone. I felt like I had purpose, which I should mention to anyone reading is a mindset to NEVER adopt. No one gives you purpose; you're born with it. How much weight can you lift at once? Ha, not a lot. When you have your own house someday, what color Christmas tree do you want and how will you decorate it? I want a black one with faux snow on the branches, then maybe red ornaments. Kinda look like blood dripping off. Sounds metal. Name three YouTube channels you’ve been loving lately. Lately, John Wolfe, The Dark Den, and Aim To Head Mix. Have you ever bought a designer purse? No. Do you wear jewelry often? No. What color was your senior prom dress? Black. Are you colorblind? No. Name the people you know who are colorblind. Jason's older brother is colorblind to two colors, but idr which. Would you ever consider a career in writing? I'd love to. What was your first favorite color? Red. What do you think about horror movies? I love them. If you love them, what’s your favorite? I really enjoy The Crazies and both The Blair Witch Project movies. Oh, and of course Silent Hill. Got any cool Christmas presents picked out for family or friends yet? I don't have the money to get anyone presents... and while I sometimes get ideas about something I could make someone, then it wouldn't be fair to the rest of my family if I don't make them something, too. What’s your favorite word and why? I really like the sound of "serendipity," as well as its meaning. It's just a pretty, nice word. Do you like to do craft projects? If so, what’s the coolest thing you made? Not really... I think the coolest thing I made was when I put the clay heart I made in Art into a shadowbox, and a poem I wrote was in the background. It was a gift for Jason. I remember working really hard on the whole process and being really happy with it. I don't want to know what he's done with it since. What’s one occupation you think gets paid too much and doesn’t deserve to? I don't know. What’s something you are currently saving money for to buy? Everyone knows about Venus' terrarium by now... Do you smoke/vape? If so, what brand do you smoke/what device do you use? No. Ever done drugs? No. Tell me one of your worst habits. Catastrophizing. I take a tiny seed of something potentially bad, and in seconds it's a damn redwood tree. And I do mean "in seconds." What’s a weird quirk you have that no one else you know does? I don't know, I don't have any particularly unique ones, I think. If you game, what type of headset do you use? I just use earbuds. Do you think you would be a good therapist? You know, it's funny, I've actually pictured myself as one a few times, given my level of understanding and empathy for people, as well as how deeply I want to see others succeed and spread the word that recovery from things like depression is very possible. I've never truly entertained the thought, though, given I'm quite sure I legally couldn't be given my suicidal past and mental illnesses. There is also NO way I could listen to so many people's suffering and manage to stay healthy myself, so, no therapist position for me, thanks. Have you ever been to a Chinatown? No. Do you prefer chunky or creamy peanut butter? Creamy, 100%. Do you stop to pick up heads-up pennies? No. Do your pets have collars? Describe them: Roman has an adorable navy one with a bowtie. Do you have any friends that speak any languages you don’t understand? Old friends, sure. What is something you want to begin learning? I want to improve my ability to perform what in therapy is called "opposite action," where you do the opposite of what your depression (or other conditions) make you want to do. It always helps me feel good, like when I draw even when I don't initially feel like it, but it's rough to really force yourself to do it. What is a food you find comforting when you are sad? Ice cream is my comfort food. What is a quote you find comfort in? There are really a lot, but none come to mind immediately, gah. What is one Tumblr blog you really appreciate? I actually haven't been on my main Tumblr in months, but oh my god there is a Markiplier blog called "lady-raziel" and she is FUCKING HYSTERICAL. The meme quality is A+. What is a comfort movie/show for you? When I actually liked watching movies, I enjoyed watching Silent Hill when I was down. That whole franchise just makes me so happy. What is a recent creative project that you are proud of? That I'm PROUD of, idk. I'm not that happy with the last drawing I made, and I haven't done any serious writing lately that I find noteworthy. What is a video game that you find comforting? Shadow of the Colossus is probably #1. I find it so relaxing while equally epic as fuck. The soundtrack is to die for, and after playing it a billion times, it's pretty easy for me to kinda breeze through and just enjoy myself. Do you know how to bake bread? If so, what is something you’ve baked recently? No. Would you rather live in the mountains, city, beach, or the forest? THE MOUNTAINS!!! Particularly in the woods IN the mountains! Are you closer to your mother’s or father’s side of the family? Mom's. I don't even remember anyone from Dad's. Have you ever been in a “perfect relationship”? I thought so. Have you ever lost a fingernail or toenail? No. Were you a Disney or Nickelodeon kid? I preferred Disney. Have you ever been inside a jail/prison? No, and I don't plan on it. Have you ever dated a guy with a beard, mustache, or goatee? Jason had a goatee usually. He'd go clean-shaven sometimes. Did you ever name your stuffed animals? I named every single one I got as a kid. Now I don't, really, unless they're really special. What’s the name of the person who cuts your hair? I'd rather not share, given her name is very unique. Do you like cheeseburgers? Yes, they're one of my favorite foods. Do you have a Flickr? Yes, but I don't use it anymore. Did you ever want to be a fashion designer? No. Do you drink milk? Yeah, I love milk. Where was your FB display pic taken? My room. Have you ever burnt your tongue like REALLY bad? If so, what on? Yeah; white rice. My dumb ass didn't realize it had JUST come off the stove. My tongue hurt literally for weeks. Have you ever gotten your legs waxed? No. Do you own any CLOTHES from Victoria’s Secret? Er, are undergarments not clothes? But I know what you mean. No. What are your grandfathers’ names? William and... I can't remember Dad's dad's name. Have you ever seen a snake in real life? Well yeah. Are you against seances? I don't know if I believe in them being effective, but either way, they seem like a bad idea. Even risking luring a negative energy/spirit to you is something I'd stay away from. Do you own any superhero shirts? No, just Harley Quinn ones, some with the Joker on them, too. I need to toss 'em though because I am like, violently against romanticizing their abusive relationship. I used to just like them as a story character couple, but I got to a place where it just seemed... wrong to "glorify" it by wearing merch and stuff. What band has the best guitar solos? Metallica, durrrr. Who is the biggest jerk you’ve ever met? Can you believe that would be my former best friend? Have you ever swerved off the road to avoid hitting an animal? I've never had an animal in my path. Have you ever grown your own herbs? No. Do you like kissing in public? If you're my serious s/o, I could care less, so long as it's a simple peck. I'm not making out in front of people. Do you think someone has feelings for you? I don't know. Do you want to be in a relationship this year? I don't know. I'm lonely and love feels amazing, but I need to get my life on track before I can be a good partner to someone and not just dead weight. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you? Huh, funny, he's the one that walked away. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander? Uhhh that would depend on how serious we are, where we are, and just what mood I'm in. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you? ugh What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone? also ugh What’s your dirtiest secret? TMI AHEAD. Probably receiving oral while bare-ass naked on the chaise in the living room while we were home alone. Or having sex in my sister’s bed. Oops. Would you ever get lyrics tattooed on yourself? Yeah. I already do, anyway, and I plan on getting another. Can you photoshop images well? I'm decent at it. Where did you last drive to? Mom and I went to go get our Covid vaccines today. What’s the first verse of the last song you listened to? "I don't know what we're supposed to be, but I know we lost it along the way to something better, something so much more than pleasure that we seek, so blind inside to fill these holes left by these lies that we tell to ourselves as we manufacture our own hell." What do you hear right now? The aforementioned song: "BLACKOUT" by 3TEETH. What was the last thing you laughed about? This is so fucking immature lmao but when we were driving earlier, we passed a gas station that had a sign that was advertising Coke, but due to space limitations, it abbreviated to "2 liter Cok" and I cackled like a child. Mom laughed harder than I did. Do you know any gay people personally? Ye. What was the last thing that startled you? I think it was a car hoonking at somebody the other day. What was the last thing to make you even remotely sad? Today's been a kind of rough PTSD day thanks to Facebook. My old high school friend had her beautiful daughter, a childhood friend just got married the other day, another friend is due to have her baby in just a couple weeks... It's just weird but even more painful to know it was the life I once fantasized about with a guy that just dropped me and made a break for it. I hate admitting that there's this deep, deep bitterness in me about it, like he took my life away from me, even though that's of course very unfair to say. I don't want to talk about this anymore, so moving on with my day.

[lildevyl]

I’m Taking A Break

Hey Everyone in the JSE/Markiplier/Sanders Sides Community,

I’ve been thinking long and hard on this and I still don’t know how to word this.  I’ve been sitting on this for almost a week now, and I still have no idea if what I’m about to say is a good thing or not.  I’ve been in the Markiplier Community for about two years now and I’ve been in the JSE Community for about a year now.  And the one thing that I notice, no matter how bad things get, no matter how much discourse or toxicity come into play in the Community.  Many of us, still help each other out, we still have each other’s backs, a lot of us (myself included)  keep “their inboxes open” for those who need or want to rant/rave/talk or just need a sounding board.

So, here goes  .   .   .

I’m going to be taking a break.  I don’t know for how long, but I need to step back from Tumblr, Discord, basically from the fandoms in general.  I don’t know when I’ll be back, but I will be back!  

If you’re wondering why, please read the reasons under the cut. It was really hard for me to write all this so, please, don’t be too hard on me. But when I do officially, come back, I’ll be spamming my blog with WIPs and a ton of Memes and/or reblogs.  But yeah, I just wanted to let everyone know that I'm going to be gone for a while.

I’ll see all of ya, during Winter Break (January) or Spring or Summer Break!  Please, try not let anyone get any of ya down.

TW:  Depression (I think), Mention of Depression like systems, Mention of Lost of a Loved One, Mention of Suicidal Thoughts, putting everything out there.

(Reasons are under the cut)

I’m going to try to write this and not break down, no promises though.  Where do I start?

For those of you who don’t know me or just started following me, this is going to be so hard for me to write.  And literally just put myself out there but from what I’ve seen with so many people in these Communities, maybe it’s a good thing to let people know what’s been going on with me.  Some of you may have noticed, especially with my writing, that I’m not doing well.  And I haven’t been doing well for a long ass time!  Actually, it’s about two years now, that I haven’t been doing well, mentally.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me or what’s going on me!  I can go days, weeks even and still be my usual sarcastic, sassy, witty, bad jokes/puns gal (and yes some days are better than others). But then, there are days where I just want to crawl up in bawl and just, bawl my eyes out.  I don’t know how to explain this without sounding crazy, but it’s like having two people telling ya two different things!

One person is telling ya that you’re nothing, that you’ll never be anything, you’re work is nothing, that you getting a degree is completely pointless since you’ll never stand out, you’re just average that’s all you’ll ever be!  You just have mediocre talent, that’s all you’ll ever be is mediocre.  Look around you, this is what you’ll be doing for the rest of your life.  Retail, and never moving forward! 

Then the other person will be telling you to not listen to that voice and all you have to do is just smile.  Pretend that everything's alright!  We can’t let people know that we’re hurting.  If they know that then all they’ll do is just pity us. We have to be the strong, independent, “I got this,” woman.  What will that think if they saw that we not that?

I know it sounds weird and maybe there is something wrong with me, but yeah.   And there have been days where it has gotten extremely bad.  And when I mean bad, I mean bad!  Sometimes, I know what will trigger it and I try to so hard to avoid that at all cost.  Hell, I can’t even watch Doki Doki without skipping so many parts, and one of Sean’s videos last month I had to skip to the end b/c of the warning at the beginning.  And when this happens I try to so hard either ignore the Intrusive Thoughts that’s been plaguing me (unfortunately this doesn’t make the problem go away nor does it help at all!).  And I also try to block them, push them so far back in the back of my mind but the more I try to do that the more, the Intrusive Thoughts keeps popping up (and I don’t mean Remus Sanders form Sanders Sides either!).  And when I can’t ignore it or block or get them out of my head, I tend to lash out on people.  If I have done that to anyone reading this, I am so sorry!

But it also, has gotten so bad with these thoughts that at one point.  I literally wondered, “Would anyone noticed?”  If I stopped posting all together and never made another post ever!  Would anyone noticed?  If I literally never showed up at work ever again!  Would anyone noticed?  If you’re wondering where this is going, or have figured it out.  Yeah, I had thought about it or even wondered about suicide.  When that happened I knew that I needed help, it’s just that I’ve been so ashamed!  Ashamed that I’m not “Normal.”  That I’m battling with myself and don’t even know what the hell is wrong with me?!  That “Normal” people don’t have constant mood swings when there not on their period.  That “Normal” people don’t fucking start crying for no reason!  I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I need to seek help to figure it out.  I did group therapy before but it was, “It sounds like you have this.  It might be this.  It sounds like you might have this and my (insert family/co-worker/partner here) had it and this what they did.”  And it would work for a while but then it would stop working after a while and then I’m back at square one.

The other big reason why I need to take a break is because recently I lost my Grandpa.  He was 84 years old when he passed away.  We had his funeral last week and it still hitting me hard.  I know this would be the last thing that he ever wanted me to do would be sitting here bawling my eyes out.  He would want to celebrate and share stories about the life he had.  I know he’s with Grandma, but it still hurts!

Right now, I’m looking for a therapist.  If anyone has any recommendations, I’ll be more then grateful to try them!  But I’m not going to be on Tumblr, Discord, or any other Social Media for a while now.  All of this on top school (I’m going to pass that damn class!) and working at a job that I am absolutely starting to hate right now!  Yeah, I need to get my shit together!  And when I do come back, I’ll be posting again.

Oh, and HAPPY WRITING!  HAPPY THEORIZING!  HAPPY CREATING!!!

And as always, I’ll see all of ya guys, gals, demons, ghouls and Fiends, in the next post.  C’ya!

[8picklesinatrenchcoat]

HERS

You’ve felt unstable for a couple weeks now. But when your friend Mark asks you to bring your demonic character to his universe, you cannot say no.

Warnings: demonic possession, mental health issues, mental instability, depression, self-harm, blood, mental breakdown

You can find it on AO3, too.

_________________

You’ve finally made it. You were going to film a video with your favorite Youtuber, Markiplier! Years of dedication, time, tears payed off, as you were one of the most promising creators on the platform, growing strong every day.

The point where you two got good friends and you were happily welcomed in his little clique was long surpassed. You had moved to LA, worked day and night, got a nice apartment in the center of the city, you were finally living your dream. Years of constantly changing workplaces, unemployment, fear of not being able to pay your bills were over after all.

The video was going to be in another big production of his, another multiple choice like “A date with Markiplier” and “A heist with Markiplier”. And you were going to be a surprise guest in the segment, where Darkiplier would come to life yet again. Your own original demonic character apparently was too good to pass up for him. But little did he know, how real SHE was. He had a faint idea, why you were in therapy, but he didn’t know the whole ugly truth.

The day came. You got your own room to get ready, put on your costume and makeup. The outfit you had made of many scraps of dark materials and fake-blooded bandages, the makeup consisted of black paint, ash, long pointed nails, bloodshed sclera lenses and very much fake blood. The SFX segment wasn’t going to be as hard as it used to be, as you got better every time you put the fake cuts and wounds on your skin. The sight in the mirror as you got ready was a thing you were probably never going to get used to. Caved in cheeks, dark circles under your eyes, little cuts on your face, that indicated you’ve scratched yourself, collarbones that were sticking out. It was a nightmare come true.

You chuckled at the thought, ruffled your hair a little more and was about to leave the room, as you realized the most important accessory was missing. The ID wristband, from the time you were in a mental hospital. You’ve kept it for sentimental reasons, still used to wear it after you left the facility to remind you of the lessons you had learned there. When you released your first video with your demon in it, you were still wearing it by accident. It became such a trademark for the character, that it always had to be there.

You put on the band and was finally able to go on set. Mark was being powdered one last time, everyone else around him was getting ready for the shoot. You’ve never been to such a big set, yet in such a big production. It was true, what they said, shooting consisted 80% of waiting.

The scenery was a sight to behold. The biggest greenscreen you had ever seen stretched out in front of you. The scene would take place in the ominous void, home to Dark and now, your demon, too. Mark nodded acknowledging at your appearance and you talked for a little while about this and that.

Ethan announced, that in three minutes the shooting would begin. You popped in your headphones and started the song, that always helped you bring out HER. Napoleon XIV played the tambourine, as you slowly let HER take over your body. Your shoulders dropped, your head slowly began to flinch, and the classic mad grin spread over your face, eyes wide, teeth bare. You threw your phone with the headphones to the side, walked towards Dark, turned to the already running camera and said in HER cracked voice: “Welcome to the void! How was the fall?”

_____________________________

The lights turned off, the cameras stopped running, everyone started to shuffle and hustle. Slowly you were stopping the jerks and twitches, becoming more and more YOU again. Mark talked to Amy, who was taking off his eyeliner, Catherine and Tyler closing the programs on their Laptops, Ethan starting to pack the lights, the rest of the crew being all over the place, wrapping up the set. You walked back to your room, still panting a little bit. Every time it drained you, letting HER out, fighting HER back into her cage, out of your mind, out of your body.

You closed the door, exhaling sharply. You let yourself flop onto the sofa, getting more and more exhausted. SHE was still there, probing your defenses. You couldn’t let her win, ever again! SHE was too dangerous to be let off the leash! Last time you let her slip beside your walls, she wreaked complete havoc on your friends and your flat.

“Deep breaths, you are the driver, she is just a passenger in your car. You can put her back into the trunk.”, you talked calmly to yourself. You stood up, slowly walking to the big mirror while trying to calm down. “You got this, you’ve done this before, you can do this again.”. The piercing laugh you heard proofed you otherwise. “You really think, that it is that easy? Don’t you know, that I KNOW that you love the feeling of being able to let go? And just BE? Just let me out, everything will be so much lighter. Aren’t you tired of fighting? Trying to contain me? Just. Let. Go.”

“No.”, you managed to squeeze out. You grabbed the edge of the dressing table, trying to stable yourself, as your head started spinning, the world fading into rivers of blood, screams in the distance, maniac laughter inside your mind. A piercing sound, like nails on a blackboard, stuck in your ears for almost a minute. You let go of the table, trying to cover your ears, to stop the cacophony inside your head. Stumbling over your own legs, you fall hard onto your side, then pulling your knees to your chest into a fetal position.

“Just let go. You’ve done it before. You know, what salvation it can be. The truth, it holds. I am a part of you, after all.”, SHE said. HER head starting to jerk again, stronger, HER nails clawing at HER skin, pulling HER hair. “LET ME OUT!”, she suddenly roared.

All of a sudden the door slammed open and Mark storming in. “(Y/N)!”, he yelled, rushing to where YOU laid. SHE jumped up onto all fours. “Back off, petty boy.”, SHE snarled at him, while slowly crawling backwards.

“What have you done?”, he shouted at HER. He stood there, legs wide, posture lowered. He was still in costume, although a bit disheveled.

“What do you mean? You already miss our little (Y/N)?”, she sneered at him.

“Come back, you hear me? You are still in there, I know it! Yes, she is a part of you, but she is NOT YOU! You are in control, as much as she is a part of you, you are a part of her! I know, it has been hard, I know that better than you think! But please, come back! Don’t let her consume you!”

Laughter sounded in the air, as SHE rose. Maybe SHE was not very tall, but it still was an intimidating sight. Blood, real blood steaming out of her mouth because she had bit HER lip, the costume, the makeup, it was all very real. Too real. Mark backed off, remaining in the defensive posture.

“Oh, she is still there. She can hear you. But she will never speak to you. Ever again! Existence is pain, and her little frail soul had to endure so much, that she is done with this world. The alternative would be suicide, but I like it here! There is a certain amount of… Chaos in your order, and I very much enjoy that.”

She stepped forward, head twitching, fingers contorting into claws. “You’ll never see her again, I will make sure of it.” SHE leaped forward, trying to startle him and run out the door, but he was quicker than she had thought. He grabbed her by the waist and hoisted her back into the room using her momentum against her. They stumbled and fell, she onto him. Next he knew he was holding her wrists while she tried clawing at his eyes, laughing fanatically. Finally, he managed to flip them over and pin her wrists above her head.

“(Y/N)! Please! You need to come back! I’m begging you! You need to snap out of it! You always say to go though just another day, so please, come back. For at least just another day.”

HER smile slowly faded. It transferred into pure rage, she roared at the top of her lungs. But then, silence. A deep sadness took over YOUR features, tears rising in your eyes. Mark let go of YOUR wrists and sat up next to you, heavily breathing. You just turned to your side and let the tears flow freely.

“Is it okay, if I hug you?”, he asked after a couple minutes. You could just nod, and he slowly helped you sit up and embraced you. Hard.

You sat like that for another 10 minutes or so, just weeping your eyes out, letting go of all the tension, all the emotions that were too much. Then you just were. You couldn’t grasp a clear thought, trying to take a breather and understand what just had happened. As you slowly began to rock back and forth, Mark picked you up and seated you both on the sofa, softly cuddling you until you dozed off from the exhaustion.

__________

Ethan gently knocked on the door about an hour later and came in. You were wrapped up in a blanket, sleeping on the sofa, Mark sitting in the chair in front of the dressing table, watching you. “Will she be okay?”, Ethan asked.

“I sure hope so. Yeah, she will. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but eventually, she will. And we will help her with that. Just one day after another.”

[franklyshipping]

The Gooper Adventures ~ Day 2 ~ A Markiplier Ego Fanfic

PART 2 OF THIS LIL SERIES! With Gooper now being established as Iplier's assistant for the week, it's time for patient number one! LET'S DO IT!

Dr Iplier was on his third coffee of the day, and was particularly enjoying it since he was being treated to a little show whilst drinking it. To elaborate, the doctor was observing a dramatic battle between the bravest squish to ever squoosh and the deformed snake of coldness. Gooper was fighting with his stethoscope on his desk and was having the absolute time of his life. Gooper was loving his temporary little home already, and Iplier's regular patients had all taken a shine to him and had all been made to feel relaxed and happier amidst their appointments with him. Now though, it was time for a more special appointment. The door to Iplier's office opened, and the doctor set his coffee down with a smile when he saw his boyfriend entering the room. The Host.

'Hey you.'

The doctor smiled happily, and the little slime ball paused in his battle to focus on the new person. Gooper could tell that he was an Iplier person too because the shapes of his features were very similar to doc-tor Iplier's. Gooper mewled to himself when he saw the man weakly smile and go to the doc-tor.

'H-Hey love...'

Iplier furrowed his brows at the lacklustre in the Host's voice, and then went into full on protective mode when he realised his Host's hands were shaking....along with the rest of him.

'Hey....hey hey hey, what happened my sweet? Here, sit down I'm here I'm right here.'

Iplier took the Host's twitching hands in his own as he led him to the small couch in the room and sat him down in it, and soon Gooper observed the new Iplier shivering and letting out sniffing noises as the doc-tor embraced him. Gooper didn't like hearing those sniffing noses from the new Iplier, because it meant that he was sad, and even though he hadn't properly met him yet....he didn't want him to be sad. The truth was, the Host was once again stressed about writer's block, his creative output, and publishers messing him about; they were basically the usual things except just all happening at the same time.

'I-I-I just d-don't un-...why d-does it a-a-all have t-to...h-happen a-all n-now?'

The Host expressed shakily as he tried to focus on his boyfriend's warm hold and soothing words. The doctor kept leaving the gentlest kisses at his jawline and rubbing his back, rocking the man subtly so that the additional constancy of a rhythm could help him focus too. Iplier whispered.

'I know love I know, I know when everything piles on at once it can be the worst thing in the world, but we'll fix it together okay? We'll get a nice to-do list on the go tonight, yeah? We'll get it all out in braille and we'll get organised, yeah?'

The Host nodded at the doctor's words, and pretty soon was vastly calmer than he had been previously, so Iplier released him from the hug with a loving smile. He stroked the Host's cheek as he purred.

'But....I think I have just the thing to help make you feel even better in the here and now.'

The Host raised an eyebrow...he knew he could have perceived what his doctor had planned, but feeling the giddy excitement of his doctor was too beautiful to ruin. The Host smiled as Iplier drew away, and the doctor offered his hand to Gooper who had been waiting excitedly to see if he could get to be of any help. He gurgled and hopped on, wiggling excitedly as he was brought to the other man; The Host gasped, immediately smiling softly.

'I-Is that Marvin's creation?'

Iplier nodded as he passed the, eagerly wiggling, creature to the Host who was very delicate when he cupped Gooper in his hands. As the Host ran his fingers over the creature carefully so as to understand his appearance, Gooper was enamoured by the warmth of his hands and set about nuzzling them straight away. Iplier smiled at the absolutely precious scene.

'Yes indeed, isn't he adorable?!'

Before the Host could reply, Gooper let out a gurgle; he knew praise when he heard it because of the change in tone of voice, and boy did Gooper get even happier and nuzzlier from the praise. The Host felt a warmth building in his chest as he pet the creature, nodding with an expression of aghast happiness on his face.

'He's so soft and sweet....he must be protected at all costs.'

Iplier grinned, giggling under his breath at his boyfriend's instant pledge to the little being of perfection; the doctor felt exactly the same of course. Iplier couldn't deny that he was just as besotted with the little thing as the Host was, he was like the most full-proof therapy animal in the entire universe.

'Ahagreed.'

Also, now that the doctor could see that his Host was calm, he set about changing out the dressings over his eyes for fresh ones, as was the purpose of the appointment. Technically the Host could do them himself or wait till Iplier was finished with a shift, but he always liked checking that he was okay at work since the doctor had a habit of prioritising caffeine over food and sitting down; this way they could BOTH make sure that the other was okay. The Host relaxed as the doctor went about his work, and by the time he'd finished, Gooper had slid up to perch on Host's shoulder so he could observe the procedure curiously.

'Ahhh, I look fractionally less grotesque now.'

The Host spoke in a deadpan voice whilst bearing a grin, ahh that good old sarcastic self-deprecation, the Host's piece de resistance. Iplier pursed his lips, before leaning down and kissing Host's while murmuring with loving sternness.

'You could never look grotesque, even if you tried to narrate it.'

The Host's cheeks went pink at the blunt compliment as he spluttered embarrassedly; damned unexpected affection, it got him every damn time. The Host ended up blushing even more though, and not just because of his doctor's satisfied, flirtatious smirk. Gooper had gone through a thought process again: The Iplier's cheeks did the thing where they change colour and get warmer, and that meant that he was getting the happy feelings! Gooper didn't see why the two Ipliers' faces had to touch to make that happen, but if it made happiness happen then Gooper figured that it was a good thing! Either way, upon seeing the blush, Gooper couldn't help but nuzzle it, since he knew it was a good thing. 

'Awww he's happy to see you happy!'

Iplier's mouth was agape as he observed the outburst of affection the little monster was dishing out, coming to the realisation that Gooper had a bigger understanding of a lot of things, like how blushy people were generally happy people, and that made him happy! It was almost too precious to process, particularly for the Host who was flustered into silence; the man didn't receive excesses of affection day to day, so to receive so much just had him in a tizz.

'I-I-I....h-heheh....y-y-....y-yes....I-I s-s-suppose....'

The Host stuttered primarily, but did let out a few soft hums at the nuzzling; the only reason he didn't nuzzle back was because he didn't want to risk knocking little Gooper off his shoulder. The Host was soon going to learn however, that Gooper has a very...very strong grip. The Host hadn't noticed that his blush was creeping down his neck; Gooper however, very much had noticed....and was following it with his nuzzling.

'W-Woahwait-whahat's h-he dohohoing?!'

The Host tittered, since he was a rather....sensitive individual. The doctor meanwhile, was elated, because he had been oh so hopeful that this would happen. Iplier leant against his desk with folded arms, leisurely watching the scene unfold before him.

'Seems like Gooper wants to give you a little treatment of his own.'

Iplier smugly remarked, chuckling as he watched the Host try to scrunch his shoulders....but no movement could hinder the rapidly nuzzling monster. Gooper had reached the crook of the Host's neck now and was having a field day, nestling himself in as much as possible so he could draw out all of the Host's giggles. The Host bore a very nervous smile as he squeaked.

'M-Mahahake hihihim stahahahappihit!'

The Host spoke, ending with a whine which made the doctor laugh amusedly at his darling boyfriend. Then, the doctor smirked and crooned teasingly.

'Oh come now, I think we both know that you not only need this....but very much want this too.'

Iplier was beyond smug as he watched the Host's cheeks light up with colour as he spluttered, consumed by flusteredness at just being called out so evilly! Also, the sight of the Host being caught between a smile and a pout was just absolutely gorgeous to behold. The Host was permitted a little break however, as Gooper made his own observations. The Host Iplier was very, very blushy now, so Gooper had to get all the laughter out of him now too so there was an even balance of strong blushes and strong laughs. To Gooper, this was the peak of logicality. Gooper scooted to the back of the Host's neck and examined his coat collar; he noticed that the Host Iplier wore a coat like a doctor's coat, except a different colour. The little monster was very interested in finding out what sensitive treasures were hidden beneath...so he slipped down.

'I-I-I doho noho-AAAAAEEEEEEEEGETOUTGETOUT!!'

The poor man was about to attempt a comeback, but he'd waited just that little bit too long. Now he was squealing and arching his back sharply as he felt the creature slide down his shirt covered back under his coat. The Host had a ticklish back, and Gooper was now a VERY elated, gurgling bundle of joy as he skated up and down the Host's back.

'NOHOHO STAHAHAP EHEHEHEHEE STAHAHAP!!'

The Host begged as he wriggled and shimmied, stamping his feet on the floor as he twisted his body about trying to reach for the tickly lump under his coat....but Gooper was always juuuust out of reach. Iplier was just observing lovingly, adoring seeing his Host's mad grin come to the surface as his nerves were played with.

'Awwww, is he getting your poor, sensitive wittle back?'

Even with Gooper shimmying up and down his spine, the Host managed the tiniest growl in response to his lover.

'IHIHI'LL GEHET YOHOU FOR THIHIHIS!'

Iplier snorted with a little laugh, letting out a musing hum before purring.

'Uh huh, maybe you should stop laughing your pretty heart out before trying to make tough-guy threats like that.'

The Host ended up wailing through his cackles and head-butting the arm of the couch in despair from all the teasing....and then he started clinging to it since for some reason, Gooper became enamoured by his shoulder blades; poor Host.

'AHAHAH YOHOHOU BAHASTAR-EEE OHOHO COHOME OOOON!!'

As the Host scrunched his shoulders, the ridges beneath his shoulder blades became more pronounced....therefore making them rather inviting for nestling into and rubbing incessantly, which was what Gooper had decided to treat Host to. The Host was in absolute tickly, and moral, turmoil. He couldn't flop onto his back for fear of hurting Gooper, so he was forced to curl up on his front on the little couch as he laughed and screeched into his own hands. This made Gooper VERY happy, because he knew that loud noises meant it was a bad tickle spot, and bad tickle spots make people super duper happy!

'Uh ohhhh, Gooper LOVES playing with baaad tickle spots....'

Gooper seemed to squeal and croon at the doctor's words, which was his way of confirming that they were true. The Host meanwhile just continued to shriek and squeal and whimper as he clawed at the couch, the rubbing tickling technique under his shoulder blades was really effective against him.

'IHIHIHIT TIHICKLES SOHOHO MUHUHUCH!!'

Iplier could have been kind and sympathetic.....could have.

'Awww, Gooper will be so happy to hear that!'

'NOHOHOHHOOOOO!!'

Iplier giggled as he watched the Host writhe, consumed by the mirth and joy that he so richly deserved. However, his body was starting to experience tremors and trembles that Gooper sensed were not entirely controlled; the Host Iplier had been tickled a lot, and now his body was getting weaker. Though Gooper was indeed very happy that he'd tickled the man very well, he knew he needed to recover from all the laughing, so he stopped. Gooper slid down his back and crawled over his side so as to rest on the man's tummy carefully; Gooper crooned with relief when he heard the man catching his breath and calming down.

'Ohoho my....ahahh....holy typewrihiters....'

The Host gasped as he lay on the couch with mouth agape, chest rising and falling as he took in large gulps of much needed air. Iplier, like the loving boyfriend he was, was covering his mouth in an attempt to repress his laughter in the wake of how utterly bedraggled the Host looked right now. He was red faced, gleaming with sweat, and had hair that rivalled the most juvenile of bird's nests.

'Yohou okay lohove?'

....the Host tried to purse his lips in a somewhat displeased fashion....but he was far too happy to even think about feeling displeased; such feelings were pretty damn far from his mind right now. The embarrassed, meek man ended up bowing his head and smiling silently, which Iplier took to mean that yes, he was more than okay. Iplier sat on the remaining space of the couch and helped his Host sit up, but he nearly jumped out of his skin when his Host let out a sudden, surprised yelp.

'EEK!'

Thankfully, it wasn't the start of another onslaught, and both men giggled when Gooper squished himself through the front of the Host's coat, between two buttons, and plopped in his lap with a giddy gurgle.

'Yohou....'

The Host giggled softly, loving how the little monster was just a wiggly ball of squeals and squelches; he was clearly rather happy with himself and the tickling that he managed to provide. The Host smirked and scratched the creature's underbelly, making him squeal adorably.

'....yohou are too puhure for this dumb world....'

The Host giggled and leant against his doctor as Gooper snuggled into his hand, and the Host soon smiled even wider when he felt Iplier's lips kissing along his jawline, and eventually venturing to the corner of his lips. The doctor chuckled softly when the Host purred at him, and soon they were kissing softly; Gooper wasn't the only thing here that was too pure for this world. The two lovebirds had to break their kiss however, when Gooper let out quite the loud squeal. They ended up snorted and giggling into each other's lips before craning their heads down at the little blob. Dr Iplier crooned.

'Whahat doho you want Mr Squealy?'

Iplier watched, and the Host perceived, Gooper suddenly wriggling and bouncing and squealing with happy excitement....and they both blushed deeply. Gooper had gotten so excited because he'd seen their affection. Gooper was still learning about how people gave each other affection, but he'd learned from Schneeple that people who REALLY loved each other touched faces, and this was the first time he'd ever actually seen it lengthily and it was so cute and he was just so happy for them! Gooper had seen them doing at the beginning and it all just now was clicking into place....they had SUPER love for each other! Gooper soon calmed down though since he didn't want to interrupt the happy face touching, and soon the two men resumed their smooching, and Gooper got to fall asleep in the wake of true love in full bloom.

WOOOO HOPE YOU LIKED THIS NEXT PART LEMME KNOW IF YA DO WOOOOP LUV YOUS XX

[iamvegorott]

A Small Glitch Chapter 19 (Final)

Settling In

“This itches,” Jackieboy whined as he messed with the bandage around his neck.

“If you complain as much as Anti did, I’m putting you in a cone.” Dr. Schneepelstein threatened as he double taped the end of the bandage.

“My nose isn’t going to look ugly, is it?” Bim asked as he poked his wrapped up nose. “Ow...Ow!” Bim said the second one after Dr. Iplier slapped his hand.

“It will if you mess with it.” Dr. Iplier warned, earning a whimper from Bim and the show host sat on his hands.

“I’m still really sorry for getting blood on ya,” Chase said for the tenth time in ten minutes as he blotted the blood stain on Marvin’s shirt with a wet rag.

“I can get a new shirt, it’s fine.” Mavin took Chase by the wrists and lowered his arms. “You should rest.”

“I’ve gotten shocked by alarm clocks, controllers, microwaves, this is nothing.” Chase chuckled. “Although I never imagined I would be tasty cooked up.”

“Most humans taste like pork.” Bim stated, getting strange looks from everyone. “What?”

“He is technically correct according to research.” Google said, the looks turning towards him.

“Canadolism aside, I think we should talk about how fucking dope all of that was!” Bing threw his hands into the air. “Fucking wings and shit!”

“Anti also came back from the dead.” Wilford said as he stretched, his joints popping loudly.

“Did you see that in your prediction, Host?” Chase asked.

“Host could only see harm for Anti, but was unable to see the specifics and could only say so much about it.” Host answered.

“Your future seeing is kind of a dick.”

“Host has holes for eyes because he attempted to look into his own personal future, he does not wish to tempt fate more.” Host’s mouth stretched out to a flat line.

“He can prod at it thought.” Wilford chuckled.

“What do you mean?” Marvin asked.

“Someone had a prediction about Anti and Dark, as we all know, but you guys don’t know is that Host knew that if Dark went to the Septiceye house that night, it would kick-start their relationship.” Wilford wagged a finger towards the Host.

“Host will not dignify that with a response.”

“I knew it.” Dark said as he entered the room. He patted a gentle hand on Host’s shoulder. “Thanks.”

“How are Anti and Annalise?” Chase asked.

“They’re both out.” Dark sighed. “I should inform Mark that all of his devices are currently dead and he’s going to need to reboot his computer.” Dark took out his phone. “I also need to ask where his chargers are.”

“They got mine, too.” Wilford laughed a little after checking his phone.

“I’m shocked Mark let them on his bed.” Bim said.

“I was not going to let my husband and daughter sleep on a couch after everything they have gone through. Has anyone been able to contact the Jims? The Iplier house is probably on fire right now.”

“All of our phones are dead, how were we supposed to get a hold of them?” Jackieboy asked with a raised brow.

“Oh yeah, of course, I just…” Dark pinched the bridge of his nose.

“There’s been a lot of trauma today, take it easy, Dark.” Dr. Iplier said.

“Alright, I’m back.” Mark said as he came back into his house, grocery bags in his hands. “I got the pain meds, extra band-aids, and bandages. I bought a couple of pizzas I’ll toss in the oven and I even got a coloring book for Annalise. I got her one with princesses and one with cute animals, I’m not sure which one she’d like, but I’m sure she’d like something to do.”

“She likes butterflies.” All of the egos answered together.

“Okay, don’t do that...ever again.” Mark said as he unpacked the bags. Dark went over to Mark and helped him. There was a tense silence for a moment before Dark spoke up.

“Thank you for your hospitality.” Dark said, taking out the coloring books.

“You guys literally just saved the world. I can spare some money to help you recover and get out of my house in one piece.” Mark said as he stacked the pizza boxes.

“Again, thank you. I’m sure Annalise will adore these.” Dark held up the coloring books before setting them aside.

“There should be crayons in that bag as well.” Mark noticed that there was a strange look on Dark’s face. “Yes?”

“Are you sure you’re Mark?” Dark asked.

“What the hell does that mean?”

“Never mind.” Mark made several sputtering sounds as Dark walked away, handing the medical supplies to the doctors.

“Fine. Whatever…” Mark started to chew on his lip. “Why do I have a feeling that I forgot something?”

“Dude! I thought you were gonna pick me...what the fuck?” Jack stood frozen at the front door, suitcase in hand and was greeted with a view of egos in the living room.

“Oh, that’s what I forgot.” Mark said, going over to Jack. “Well, things got a little crazy here.”

“I can see. What the hell happened?” Jack rolled his suitcase in with him.

“Long story.” Mark sighed.

“Did I just hear a loud Irishman?” Anti chuckled as he came into the room.

“Anti!” The egos all cheered while Dark rushed to him and grabbed his face, pulling him in for a deep kiss.

“Alright...”

“That’s a little weird.” Mark and Jack said.

“Is it cause they have a resemblance to you?” Google asked.

“We can make it worse.” Anti rubbed his hands as his body changed, slowly becoming an exact match to Jack’s. “This form’s really easy to do.”

“As is this one.” Dark said, becoming a clone of Mark.

“And now to...” Anti grabbed Dark by his shirt and yanked him into a kiss.

“Okay!” Both Jack and Mark yelled, covering their eyes.

“My offer still stands on letting you know everything about Mark’s dick.” Anti said with a wink.

“I’m going to go start cooking the pizzas!” Mark said loudly as he walked away while Jack just made sounds.

“You are not going to discuss my genitalia.” Dark said in a lower tone.

“So, there’s this vein right at the-” Anti was cut off by Dark picking him up and throwing him over his shoulder.

“No fair!” Anti laughed. “Top of the mornin’ to ya ladies, my name is, put me the fuck down!” Anti kept laughing as he lightly hit Dark’s back.

“Hello, everybody. My name’s Markiplier and today we’re not going to do that.” Dark chuckled and started walking around the living room.

“Cranky crew!” Annalise cheered as he jumped into the room.

“Ann!” Anti started slapping Dark harder and after getting put down, he and Dark both went over to Annalise, crouching down to hug her.

“Aw, she watches Ethan.” Jack chuckled.

“We should give him a call and let him know that the child of a literal demon and a virus watches his videos.” Mark laughed from the kitchen.

“Daddy look funny.” Annalise said. “And papa.” Anti and Dark both went back to their normal form in a blink.

“How’s my princess?” Anti asked.

“Good nap.” Annalise said with a nod.

“Do you know what happened today?”

“Daddy got hurt. I help him.” Annalise puffed out her chest. “I use glowy.” She held out her hands and orange pixels started to dance on her palms.

“Our daughter...brought you back from the dead.” Dark straightened up.

“Sweet.” Anti said as he did the same.

“How? Just...how? I don’t-” Dark stopped when Anti put a hand on his arm.

“Virus’ are weird.” Anti turned his hand over and his own palm had pixels on it. “I can heal myself with my pixels, Annalise must have used hers to bring me back. My brain must not have fully died before she got to me.”

“Okay…” Dark shook his head in disbelief.

“What else happened today?” Anti asked.

“Rus and others get time-out.” Annalise looked around before cupping her hands around her mouth. “Forever time-out like mommy.”

“Do you want to color?”

“Yes!” Annalise clapped her hands.

“I am one step ahead.” Dr. Schneepelstein said, holding up the coloring books and crayons from the couch he was sitting on.

“Sheep!” Annalise waited until Dark and Anti nodded their head before rushing over to the doctor.

“So, she’s kind of aware of what happened.” Anti said.

“Our child is going be in desperate need of therapy when she’s older.” Dark sighed.

“Nah, she’ll be fine. She’s one of us, but I’m sure if worse comes to worse, we’ve got enough money to bribe someone to keep quiet and help her.”

“Can we please talk about the wings?” Bing asked.

“Wings?” Jack and Mark both said as Mark left the kitchen and came back into the room, only hearing the last word.

“Yeah! It was so cool!” Chase said.

“Dark was like a stain-glass angel and Anti was a glitchy bat and Annalise was a butterfly!” Bing added.

“Extreme emotions cause extreme reactions.” Dark stated.

“We could probably work on making them pop out whenever we want.” Ant said, joining Annalise on the floor. “Ann’s our little butterfly.”

“The wings fun.” Annalise said. “But I no fly.”

“Next time.” Anti chuckled.

“So...Anti and Dark are married, they have a daughter and now they can grow fuckin wings?” Mark said.

“Language.” Dark warned.

“Eat my ass!” Annalise shouted, making Dark but his lower lip.

“I bet I know where she got that from.” Jack chuckled.

“If we get a call from the school saying the Annalise cursed, it’s your fault.” Dark said to Anti.

“Eat my ass.” Anti stuck his tongue out.

“I already do.” Dark said with a smirk, making everyone in the room but Annalise groan.

“I did not need to hear that in my home.” Mark huffed.

“I no get.” Annalise looked up at Anti.

“Later.” Anti patted the top of Annalise’s head.

“Or never.” Dark added, crossing his arms.

“So, Dark’s the one with the shotgun when Annalise brings a boy home.” Jack said.

“That’d probably be uncle Wilford.” Mark pointed at the man he spoke of.

“Revolver, not a shotgun.” Wilford corrected.

“Papa, lookie!” Annalise held up the coloring book.

“That looks amazing.” Dark went over to Annalise and joined her and Anti on the ground.

Dark listened while the others started talking, their voices being nothing but noise as he watched Annalise color and Anti giving her suggestions for which color to use. Anti looked up at Dark and gave him a smile when he saw that the demon was already doing so.

This was it. They were finally happy. Dark and Anti were both filled with joy as their daughter had fun and the others were all safe and sound. They could finally move on with their lives. They could live in peace, or as much peace as a family of two virus’ and a demon could have. They were excited to continue a journey that they never expected to begin in the first place.

Raising Annalise.  

I hope all of you enjoyed reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing it! This series is not over and more is to come. There may even be a sequel in the near future.

Tag List: @readeatfightlove13 @kenzie-110101

[rainraisins]

Dear Journal, Here is a Boring Infodump

Journal 2

I have no idea what to write in this journal exactly, so here is a collection of random thoughts I want to say for some reason.

1. Sometimes I wish people would talk about countries other than the US, the UK or Australia on international news. I’m very happy your various causes are being supported, but I just find I’ve come to a very dry acceptance that barely anything from the Philippines ever gets talked about here. Takes a bit for me to be angry, but the pandemic has pushed me more into frustration somehow. So now I actually feel somewhat irritated enough about it to write it here.

2. I feel stressed from 2020, and the New Year hasn’t changed that much. But I guess that’s not that different from everyone else here. Hmm, well I’m no great speaker who can give you an emotional speech, but I figured I can offer solutions where people can just give encouragement (which I still appreciate, mind you, not being great at stuff like this.) So I suggest looking up resource sites and search terms like. . . 

A. Psychology Today

B. Verywell Mind

C. Relaxing music/Nature sounds/ASMR

D. Relaxation techniques

E. Anxiety/Depression apps list

F. CBT/ACT/DBT

E. Affirmations

F. Motivational Quotes

G. List of Anxiety, Depression, and Stress Management blogs

H. Greater Good in Action

I. Free Science of Happiness university course on Edx

J. 7 Cups of Tea - a site to vent anonymously in live chats to volunteer listeners, if you don’t want to volunteer yourself.

K. Grounding techniques -- great if you feel numb or dissociated.

L. Mindfulness techniques list

M. Journaling prompts

N. Thought Traps

O. Stand up comedy / jokes

P. Random online fun facts, or researching random info you’re curious about. Look up sites to learn new things, or educational Youtube channels for example. 

Q. Spirituality resources, if this helps you.

R. Looking up famous people for role models.

S. Watching dominoes falling videos.

T. Listening to jazz, lofi music or classical music does it for me. I enjoyed the Lofi series for fantasy stuff on Youtube. “Lofi music for ghosts.” “Lofi music for witches.” “Lofi music for vampires.” “Lofi music for mermaids.” It has such a mix of sci fi and fantasy elements with the electronic music playing this type of music, but oh well. 

U. Looking at art. There are free online museums even if you look. I like the Youtube channels Drawfree and Chloe Art though. That or creating your own art. 

V. Watching Film reviews. Like on the Take (Screenprism) on Youtube, Nerdwriter1, Wisecrack, The Film Theorists, and more.

W. Looking up a list of personal development blogs online, and just searching through them for random advice.

X. Watching cute animals, and other cute stuff online.

Y. Joining one of those depression or mental health forums online, maybe a general one or focused on a specific mental health issue.

Z. Reading books, of course. 

3. I’d say if you want to know a bit more about my therapy history for some context. . . well, I have dysthymia, which is a type of mild depression, but it takes a longer period of time to be diagnosed than major depression. That is, more than 2 years. GAD or General Anxiety Disorder. It’s not a mental illness as people imagine, (It’s a neurodevelopmental condition, which is an intellectual, not emotional difference. Though of course emotional illnesses can happen with it), and I’m on the autism spectrum. Specifically twice exceptional (Giftedness + neurodiversity condition), which is apparently the more polite way to say it than savant. I’m not stressed much about it though. Filipinos, at least here in the city in Manila, don’t bully much around neurodiversity types like autism, ADHD, dyslexia or anything about that. 

This country has a lot of problems, but ableism doesn’t seem to be one of them, from my personal experience. Just know if I sound a bit rude from my directness, I’m trying my best. I’m bisexual and non binary, though that personally wasn’t much of a problem growing up in Metro Manila, the Filipino capital, which is the most liberal of the Philippines. Not sure why in places like the US or the UK, the situation seems worse, but I don’t know much enough to comment. The middle class to upper class in the Philippines tends to be more liberal than the poor or working class, which is strangely the opposite in America, I hear? Not that there was 0% no bullying, whether by people my age or adults, but people are generally just casually supportive. It might help though that while I prefer them/they pronouns, I don’t mind being called both he or she much. Why am I depressed and why for so long? Not sure. I have a lot of accomplishments and talents with giftedness, but I just. . . don’t seem happy that much. (Look up Dabrowski’s overexcitablities or the Your Rainforest Mind blog for more mental health info with giftedness.) 

4. I’m not suicidal or anything, but the world just seems to be somewhat grayscale all the time. Would be nice if I was a bit more enthusiastic about this, but oh well. I am more depressed than I am anxious. I am definitely “sad”, but I don’t seem to get as much anxious as other people. I definitely am often nervous, but I don’t scare as easily as most? Guess that’s why I’ve been watching horror games on Youtube, with Markiplier’s 3 scary games playlist. I don’t know why, but in small doses, horror games are a release. I feel so numb, but instead of doing something harmful like self harm or something else, horror just. . . makes me feel alive somehow. Both excited, afraid and full of thrill. I feel in a way, a lot of suppressed fears come to the surface, like letting tears flow out, but for anxiety instead of sadness. 

5. I feel like I have a life of extremes. Full of a lot of big accomplishments, and big problems tied all together. In some ways I am discriminated. In other ways I am disadvantaged. When people talk about privilege or minorities and stuff, I just get confused how I should see myself. But oh well. I guess. . . that’s just depression for you. A bit unpleasant both parties of those extremes seem to be fighting a lot though, which is a lot more uncomfortable to watch if you ask me. Not sure how to describe it. I can’t seem to see both sides in an us vs them standpoint, where one side is 100% my allies and the other side is 100% my enemies, but oh well. 

6. I am aware from a rational standpoint, I have many strengths, but my depression doesn’t seem to realize that much. So while I describe how my emotions feel, know that I’ve had enough therapy to see the situation logically, which makes things somewhat better, but doesn’t stop the emotions entirely for some reason.

[carry-on-my-wayward-shadowhunter]

I don’t even know...

I get like this sometimes. More often than not, I hate to admit. I feel anxious, shaking, and crying on and off. It makes no sense to the people who don’t suffer with anxiety and depression. This has been an illness that has plagued me my entire life. My aunt told me that I was always so tense, even when I was growing up. (side note: people who listen to their horrible music on speaker are the WORST kind of people.) Anyway, moving on…

I have been on the brink of tears all day. It finally let loose when my SO asked me if something was wrong. Even though I KNOW he doesn’t give a shit, I went in for a hug anyway because I needed it. Needless to say it did not help one bit. Human contact is supposed to help, right? From what I know it’s supposed to. But, I guess when you feel like the person hugging you really doesn’t care, it hurts rather than helps.

What I want to talk about is lack of motivation I feel when I get this way. My plan was to wash both the kitchen floor and bathroom floors today and it didn’t happen. Now, normal people would be like, ‘Meh…I’ll get to it tomorrow. Who cares, right?’ Yeah…I’m not exactly normal, when all is said and done. I couldn’t get really anything done but the dishes and countertops cleaned off today. I kept my toddler happy and clean and fed, of course, but I still feel like I didn’t do enough. When I read back what I wrote just now, it doesn’t even make sense to me. I KEPT A HUMAN BEING ALIVE AND SAFE AND HAPPY. How is that not enough? I don’t really know if this is all in my head, but I am made to feel like I am not contributing enough because I don’t work. Even though, in reality, I CANNOT work outside the home because Andy has autism and a severe anxiety disorder; both contributing to that if he is not sleeping, I cannot be more than 5-10 ft away from him at any times. If he’s in the living room and I am in the kitchen, I have to peek in every two mins or else he gets upset, or he peeks in before I can. I cannot leave him with even family members because he is so attached to me. I don’t resent him for it, not at all. I merely feel like I have to explain this to FUCKING EVERYONE because I get judged all the god damned time. Unless you’re a parent of a special needs child, you cannot understand how it feels to be so alone in dealing with it. The constant worry. The panic. The constant stream of wondering whether or not this one certain thing will trigger a meltdown or not. Of having list after list of things and/or places that triggers a meltdown or sensory overload. By having to plan every single minute of every single day down to a T because if his routine is thrown off in any way, shape or form, it can cause systematic destruction. (That’s not even an exaggeration. That’s FACT.) The questions of ‘Is he getting the therapy he needs? Is it enough? Is he going to take to this new therapist, even though he’s attached to this other lady already giving him another type of therapy? Is he ever going to talk? (Non-verbal)’ On top of countless of others, these are running through my mind every damned minute of every day. This isn’t even counting worrying about my eldest, who is 9 going on 19, and thinks he knows everything. (We all did it at that age, and this is the norm going forward, I know.) He’s so intelligent, I can’t even hide when I’m stressing or having an anxiety attack. He’s like freaking Sherlock Holmes when it comes to reading people, I swear to God. So, I try to keep it to a minimum around him, and try to make him believe that everything is hunky dory…until both kids are in bed. Then I get to have my only alone time I have during the day, which is a 30 min bath….that’s it. From the time I get up, from the time I finally crash, 30 minutes to myself. I don’t break down in front of people, usually. As a rule, I find that better because people usually see it as a sign of weakness. Maybe it’s nuts, but oh well. I was brought up to think that my entire life, and if anyone wants to change my mind on that subject, be my damned guest. Good luck…

I’ve been watching videos on YouTube a lot lately because it does help. Mostly @markiplier vids, because I find him hilarious, inspirational and his voice is very soothing to me. I look back at some of his earlier videos and it really is amazing to see how far he has come. Then, I beat myself up yet again because it’s like ‘Wow. He can do this and cross over all the bridges in his path and be so successful, so why can’t I?’ I know that everyone handles everything differently. Of COURSE I know that. But what I don’t understand is, why when I have so much on my plate that I cannot seem to handle myself and my own feelings? Why do I have to solve other people’s problems when they come to me with them, gladly even…but when it comes to my own, I’m out of ideas???????? It makes no sense in reality, I know. I know I am rambling but it would be nice if I knew I had someone in my corner. A shoulder to cry on, as it were. Literally and figuratively, actually. I used to have friends, but it’s amazing the friends you lose when you have kids. When you can’t just drop everything to go hang out, people tend to stop talking to you. I brought up the fact that I was watching the vids before because I know I post a lot of Mark on here…even though I don’t know him personally, he does help me get through some of my darkest moments and hardest times I have. Everyone has their own coping methods, and I guess watching and listening to him is one of mine. He truly is an amazing human being.

I just wanted to get all of this out and I thought that on here was the best place because at least it’s not all sitting in my head. Mark’s Reading Your Comments Vids are playing in background even as I write with tears streaming down my face, I know tomorrow is another day.

[princess-of-the-corner]

Tbh I somehow ended up on an Until Dawn kick(currently rewatching Markiplier’s playthrough), and can I just say, like, most of these characters are terrible people? Like, just.... here this is going to be long. 

Mike

Major part of the Hannah prank

Cheats on Jess with Emily even though Emily is dating Matt

Can murder Emily. Slightly justified by the fact that he’s unsure if the Wendigo bite can turn her, but tbh if he had been listening The Stranger said you only become a Wendigo through cannibalism(Seriously, why did they have to read The Stranger’s journals for that tidbit?). That, and he should have gone for the safer ‘okay, you seem chill right now, but if you start getting the munchies we’ll have to put you down for our own safety’. 

Emily

Mastermind #2 of the Hannah prank

“It’s just a prank Han!”

shows very little remorse for getting Hannah and Beth killed until learning all of what happened in the mines(maybe justified because denial stage). However, what regret she feels is more guilt for being responsible for their death than actually regretting her decision to play the prank.

Cheats on Matt with Mike even though Mike is dating Jess

Verbally abusive to her boyfriend Matt 

fights with Jess

Decides to blame Mike almost killing her on Ashley(who was freaking out and asking her to leave in case she was infected, but not on board with the shooting) and slaps her for it

Tried to indirectly kill Ashley by pushing her into a wall and leaving her to the Wendigo chasing them

Jessica

Mastermind #1 of the Hannah prank, very excited to humiliate her.

“She just can’t take a joke”

not much remorse about the prank itself, but guilt that it caused Hannah and Beth’s death.

fights with Emily(slightly justified as Emily started it

Okay with pranking, video taping, and teasing Mike, but gets mad at him if he tries to play a prank on her. Granted she fell in cold water, but the fall is less of her concern. 

This is more inferred than straight out said, but Wendigo!Hannah was the most brutal with Jess. Pulling her through the shattered window, dragging her through the woods and tearing her apart, leaving her injured and unable to move on the elevator. Everyone else gets a quick death, but not Jess, so we can infer that Jess was terrible to Hannah before the prank. 

Ashley

Part of the Hannah prank

can show some remorse for it. She acknowledges it was their fault for pulling the prank in the first place, that it was dumb to do in the first place. 

Literally leaves Chris to die by Wendigo because of Josh’s Saw scenario. If Chris shoots her, even if she begged him to kill her instead of himself, she will literally refuse to open the door for him, watch him die, coldly ignore his death, and lie to the cops about killing him. No remorse whatsoever. 

Matt

part of the Hannah prank, videotaping the experience

“Hmm. We just rode a collapsing fire tower into a fucking mine shaft, and my girlfriend is literally dangling from a detached railing over a probably-death-height drop. I should take this moment to confront her about possibly cheating on me and being a total bitch in general! Then I won’t help her until she either promises to be faithful to only me, or to treat me better!”

Can leave Jess to die in the mines

Hannah

Yeah she was the victim here however I am not counting her actions as the girl who fell in the mines, starved enough to turn to cannibalism, and became a wendigo. I’m counting her actions during the prologue. 

it’s one thing to be in love with a guy despite knowing he’s in a relationship, it’s another thing altogether to try and sleep with a guy despite knowing he’s in a relationship. She wasn’t just taking the opportunity she thought was presented when they pulled the prank, she had been flirting with him and trying to get with him. While this doesn’t justify what happened to her(Especially as Mike and Emily are hypocritical, pranking her for this and then cheating on their respective partners with each other) she’s not an innocent person. 

Now for those who aren’t terrible people and are actually pretty nice:

Josh

Josh has a lot of issues and did many things, but there are a lot of circumstances that, while they don’t excuse what he did, it makes him better than the others and is a lot more sympathetic.

These people got his sisters killed, and he feels a lot of guilt because he was passed out drunk at the time and could have, hypothetically, put a stop to the whole thing.

Yes, he did the whole murder psycho thing, but it was revenge. ‘Just a prank.” for them getting his sisters killed. Yes, his prank was much more traumatizing, but he wanted them to feel the fear Hannah and Beth must have felt. But everyone was physically safe. The first trap where Chris has to ‘kill’ Josh or Ashley is rigged to kill Josh(’s dummy). The second trap with Chris and Ashley has the sawblades that will never reach them and blanks in the gun. He does knock a few people out with gas, but the only time he hurts someone is when Ashley stabs him with scissors.

 People think this is worse than it is, because before we know about the Wendigos, we think ‘the Psycho’ is the murderer, and ‘the Psycho’ turns out to be Josh. We think he’s either killed or attempted to kill Jess, Matt, and Emily.

Some people pointed out that his pranks were only on Chris, Sam, and Ashley. Two of which were not part of the prank. 

However, Sam was only gassed and taken out of the way to make sure she didn’t get caught in anything, and Chris was involved because Josh was trying to force him to confess his feelings for Ashley. 

Also, we have no idea what Mike, Jess, Matt and Emily were supposed to be trapped in. Josh most likely had pranks set up for them. Like Jess’s phone crashing through the window of the cabin while playing music. People blame Wendigo!Hannah but do you really think a cold bony wendigo could manage a touch screen? He sent Mike and Jess to the cabin where their prank was, and he trashed the cable car office to get Matt and Emily wherever. If Mike and Jess had stayed in the cabin and Emily and Matt hadn’t fallen in the mines(both because of the Wendigo), they would have gone through their own shit.

He is also not mentally stable. From his psychiatric report, we can see that he was being treated for depression from age 11 but his symptoms show that he was either misdiagnosed or he also had schizophrenia and was getting no help for it. The fact that none of his meds were helping made him self medicate by taking to much(though apparently his doctor recommended electroconvulsive therapy instead of reassessing his diagnoses), and after his sisters died he attempted to kill himself. He is also probably off those meds and suffering withdrawal during this. 

Still, he cares about them. When Mike accuses him of killing Jess, he’’s confused and apologetic. He didn’t want anything to happen to her. He’s probably trying to figure out what went wrong with whatever their prank was. And again, he didn’t want to physically hurt them, just do some revenge pranks. Hell, Chris is his best friend, and he tries to set him up with one of the girls who killed his sisters. 

Deserved a better ending.

Chris

Chris did not take part in the Hannah prank as he and Josh were passed out drunk.

He voices his disapproval of the prank later on, suggesting he wouldn’t have taken part of it if he had the chance. 

Yes, he has the option to ‘shoot’ Ashley, but considering their options in what they think is going on, along with the fact that she will offer to die(and the fact that she kills him for this), I’m not counting it against him. 

As upset as Chris is with Josh’s actions, he does attempt to defend him somewhat, and returns with The Stranger to save him.

He is the calmest during the ‘do we shoot Emily because we got bit’ section. While he does agree that until they know, she should be separated from them, he is not on board for shooting.  

Sam

Refuses to play the prank on Hannah

Sam is the only non-prank character who had a choice. Josh and Chris were passed out drunk, but Sam was told about the prank and attempted to find Hannah to stop it. 

Does not get involved with the Ouija Board. That doesn’t really count but I’m giving her points for it.

She is the one person who pleads with Mike not to kill Emily

Like, most of these characters are such assholes. Like, why? 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #403

“ashes to ashes, watch me disappear”

If given the opportunity, would you like to star in a musical? Definitely not. I don't like musicals. Name one person you’d take a bullet for: There's honestly a lot, but Mom immediately came to mind. Any posters of a band on your bedroom wall? Yeah: Metallica and Marilyn Manson currently. I want lots more, especially an Ozzy one. Do you think you’ve already met your soulmate? I don't believe in soulmates. Do you share your bedroom with anyone? No, unless you include my cat and snake. Is your favorite color yellow? No, it's actually one of my least favorites. Were you born in a hospital? I was. Do you know the name of the person that delivered you? No, but Mom does. I think he delivered me and my two sisters, and I know Mom has seen him since for other reasons. Was your birth recorded? God no. Good call, Mom. Did you eat a peach this week? Would you believe me if I told you I had a small bit of peach pie for my sister's birthday? For some reason, I just really wanted to try some. It was okay, but the aftertaste sucked. Are you leaving the house tomorrow? Yes, for TMS therapy. Every weekday. Do you enjoy romantic movies, even when they’re cliche? I honestly do. If you could get free vocal lessons would you take them? Probably not. I don't like singing in front of anyone, and it's not like I wanna get anywhere with my singing, so. Is your mother diabetic? She is. Are you? No. Ever sang someone to sleep? No. Who do you stalk the most through Facebook? Nobody. Have you ever deleted your Facebook, then brought it back? No. What is your main responsibility each day? Be sure to take my medications. Do you feel like you fulfill those responsibilities? Yeah. There are rare mornings where I forget, but I almost always remember. I don't fw skipping out on meds that keep my mental health stable. When was the last time you used spray paint? Good question. Do you know the middle name of the last person you kissed? Yep. Who is the friendliest person you know? My mom, probably. Something that annoys you about summer: THE HEAT. THE HUMIDITY. UGH. Something that annoys you about winter: Hm. That's hard to say, given I love winter. I guess the fact it doesn't snow enough here. Are the doors of your fridge side by side or on top of one another? Side-by-side. If you’ve moved out of the house you were born in, do you know the people who live in that house now? Nope. Have you ever cried in a movie theater? Not sobbed or anything, but I've definitely teared up and gotten the sniffles because of multiple movies. Do you read comic books? No. Do you force your way into conversations in which you are not involved? No. Have you ever seriously pretended to be clinically insane? I didn't need to pretend; I'm pretty damn sure I was for a while. Might I add that it's EXTREMELY inconsiderate to pretend you're insane, btw. Insanity is not "cool." It's not "funny." It's not "edgy." It's a serious, confusing, heart-wrenching issue that can ruin lives. Do you know anyone with a stutter? Yes, myself included when I'm even mildly nervous. And sometimes just randomly. With a lisp? I don't believe so. What was the last board game you played? The Disney version of "Pretty Pretty Princess" w/ my niece and even my nephew, even though his sexist-ass dad didn't want him to. Like let your kid have some fun with his sister and aunt, goddamn. They had a blast. It was Aubree's birthday present from me, so I am SO glad she loved it. Did you win? Ha ha, no, I always let Aubree or Ryder win. I came super close once, but I let the kids bend the rules a bit. They don't like losing, and even though they definitely need to understand that just happens and is totally fine for it to, I wasn't about to be the one to make them sad about it. When was the last time you tried to speak with an accent? OH MY LAAAAAWWWWWWD. Also at Aubree's b-day party, at one point, I spoke in a snobbish British accent while I was winning at the aforementioned game. Ryder asked, "Why are you speaking Spanish?", and I fuckin DIED. Have you ever made up a word before? Yeah, I know at least a few instances for fantasy animals in writing. When was the last time you went to a museum? A couple summers ago when my brother and his son visited, we went to a science museum. My nephew was sooooo into it. Do you have a nice yard? If so, do you spend a lot of time outside in it? If not, where do you go when you want to relax outdoors on nice days? Our front and back yards are both small and honestly very boring. The grass is a pretty green, but that's the only nice thing about it. I don't go to sit outside here on any day. Do your parents enjoy any of the things that you enjoy? Do you bond over these things? My parents and I have very similar music tastes, so there's that. I also didn't know for the longest time that Mom likes to write, which I sure as hell do, too! She doesn't really write anymore though, and she's self-conscious of it anyway, like I am. She and I also love a lot of the same shows. What is the movie that you have waited the longest for/which film do you remember anticipating the most/are still anticipating? I think The Incredibles 2. I aaaalways wanted to know what happened after the end of the first film. Do you have any ideas for a story or movie you’re planning to write or you’d write if you had the time/had the talent? Please share a synopsis! I genuinely think some RP I've written is series-worthy, but I don't feel like re-writing the YEARS of RP into a book format, and I sincerely worry that the ridiculously dark parts could inspire people like serial killers and cause A LOT of controversy, crime-blaming, and just general hate. I don't want to be involved in that. What is something that an interested guy/girl could comment about you, that would make you instantly open to them (e.g., “That book you’re reading is from my favorite author”)? Compliment my Markiplier tattoo, obviously knowing it's a tribute to him, and we're essentially besties. Is there a person in your life (maybe barely) that you feel in constant competition with (even just in your imagination)? Maybe you feel they are consistently outshining you? Ugh... there's a local photographer that's much more successful than I am that I admittedly am very envious of. I swear to whatever god you may believe in that I mean it from a modest perspective, I really, really do, but I genuinely think my skills surpasses hers, and she's only more prevalent because photography REALLY is about who you know. She's talented, yes, but like... come on. If you are single, even if you are normally happily single, are there certain specific things you witness that make you wish you were in a relationship (e.g., people getting engaged)? I mean yeah. I miss cuddling, holding hands, kissing, just being cute together, and especially people getting engaged or having kids. It's such a trigger to me. Once upon a time, that's all I wanted with Jason. I wanted to be that beautiful couple that got married and had two or three loved-beyond-words children, but then he left so abruptly, and I feel like it was so brutally robbed from me. I don't want kids anymore like at all, but the point still stands that I felt like my dreams were just ripped away. Out of all your usernames for websites, which one is your favorite? Do you use it for more than one site? I use "Ozzkat" just about everywhere. Have you ever spent the whole day (or multiple days) just looking up one thing on the internet (e.g., videos of your favorite band, how-to videos, quizzes, etc.)? OHHHHHHHHHH YEAH. There have been a couple days or so where I was totally glued to looking up various tattoo designs, bingeing let's plays or conspiracy theory videos, etc. etc. If you ever think about getting married, what are some aspects of the wedding that you would like to see in a non-traditional manner (e.g., a different color dress or “partners” over “husband” and “wife”)? I WILL NOT get married in a church, first of all. I'm also not having the traditional vows, and I probably won't wear a white dress, but instead black. Salt & vinegar, barbecue, sour cream & onion, or cheddar? Ohhhh, I like all those options but barbecue. I think I've gotta go with sour cream & onion, though. Bow ties on guys, dorky or adorable? A D O R A B L E ! ! ! I think they're ordinarily geeky, but I mean, geeky is cute in my world. :^) Do you believe in demonic possession? How about ghosts? Angels? Angels, no. Spirits/ghosts, 100%. I don't exactly believe in demons, per se, but I do question if evil spirits can possess someone. What is one romantic movie that you enjoy enough to watch more than once? I've seen The Notebook numerous times. Name three countries you want to visit; why those three? South Africa to interact with meerkats at the KMP, somewhere up in Canada to see the Northern Lights, and Germany just because, really. I took German for four semesters, and the culture and all just interests me. Do you have a good luck charm? No, considering I don't believe they do jack. Do you use Skype to talk to your friends? Only Sara. Now that I have Discord semi-figured out now though, we'll probably use that for voice chatting. Are you allergic to any animals? I might be allergic to dogs. Do you usually spend your weekends out, or at home? I'm like... always at home. Do you think it’s wrong for people to say "retard/retarded" as an insult? Absofuckinglutely. Don't pull that shit when I'm around. Have you ever had to go to the police department? No. Have you ever lived through a hurricane? Plenty. Have you ever had a home-grown tomato? Yes, from my old friend's garden. We'd have delicious tomato, mayo, and bacon sandwiches. The only instance where I've enjoyed tomatoes. Have you ever held a real gun? The former friend I mentioned just before, her husband always carried a gun, and he just needed me to hold it for a sec for some reason I don't recall. I hated the feeling. Would you rather wear Converse or Vans? I like both, but I think I prefer Converse. Have you ever been called bipolar? Yes, because I clinically am. Have you ever made fun of a handicapped person? FUCK no. And like the "retarded" thing, don't you fucking DARE to do this in front of me. I WILL deck the shit out of you. Do you think it’s okay to have sex before marriage? Sure, as long as you're being safe and are very thorough in communication. Do you like to watch old sitcoms? I don't really watch TV as I say in like every survey it seems, but I do enjoy some old sitcoms I grew up watching with my mom, like The Nanny, The Golden Girls, The Munsters, etc. If asked, could you run a mile nonstop right now? Being completely serious, I don't even know if I CAN physically run right now. My legs are so incredibly weak, and I'm humiliatingly close to what my heaviest weight was back in 2016, so I can almost guarantee my knees would crumple if I tried. Do you wear those rubber wristbands? I used to. I don't really like bracelets nowadays. If a necklace/ring gives you green marks, do you still wear it? Nope. Have you ever driven an electric car? No. When was the last time you saw someone you went to high school with? Uhhhh idk. What breed was the last dog you saw? A fucking GOLIATH of a lab. I shit you not when I say my sister's roommate's dog Hudson is the size of a goddamn bear. How long have your parents been together (or how long were they together, if they no longer are): I wanna say they were together at the very least 20 years. What has been your most epic cooking failure? I once accidentally put something (I don't remember what) in the microwave for around 45 minutes I believe, and I walked away and completely forgot about it. I remembered a long while later, and safe to say, it wasn't edible, whatever it was, lmao. Have you ever been to Mexico? No. Have you ever had a parrot sit on your shoulder? No, but that'd be cool. Has anyone in your life ever treated you abusively? No. How long has it been since your last breakup? Somewhere around two years ago? My memory is so garbage nowadays. Can you concentrate well while listening to music, or do you find it distracting? It's distracting, usually. What’s something you’ve been struggling with lately? I've been pretty bad about drinking too much soda lately. :/

[shadowpaint-lisam-blog]

Why do I even bother trying anymore? (Vent post)

No, really. Why?

I do have my moments of happiness. Seeing Markiplier in concert made me laugh harder then I had in a while. Watching JackSepticEye brings a smile to my face. Being with friends in Thursday night streams occasionally get me out of my head for a few. So yeah, I have my moments.

But they're just that: Moments. Eventually, the depression comes back. I'll wind up having a PTSD flashback or nightmare or a sudden wave of depression will hit me out of nowhere. I lose any and all interest in things I usually love. I could create the best piece of art I've ever done and still be very critical about it. I try playing video games that I love, like The Last Guardian or Smite, and I find myself numb the entire time.

My life has been full of abuse, and while I'm an adult now and my abusers long dead, it still effects me. Hearing people gush about their "first time" makes me a little ill, since I didn't get to choose who my "first" would be. (Hell, I shouldn't have known ANYTHING about sex at the age I was when that choice was taken from me.) Seeing a child hit or even yelled at gets to me (for obvious reasons) All of this left me with severe PTSD and a strong sense of self hatred that even years of therapy couldn't really scratch the surface of. There are other things that have contracted to this, but my childhood (if you can call it that) is one of the main factors.

So, what led me to make this rambling mess instead of the art I usually post? Seeing posts from the (pretty awesome) communities here based around Markiplier and JackSepticEye. I can't help but admire their attempts to bring positivity into the lives of those that read their posts. It's pretty heartwarming to see that there are people out there that actually seem to give a shit.

But all the positivity in the world can't erase or rewrite years and years of the "negative programing" that left me believing my "family" was right when they called me "worthless" or a burden. The posts might make me smile for a moment, but, again, it's just that: A moment.

I've been actively trying to overcome all of this, and have occasionally achieved feats I thought impossible (still can't believe that I haven't cut in nearly 2 years) but, over time, my mind gets forcefully yanked back into the darkness.

I honestly don't know why I'm rambling about this here... But here ya go.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #338

“i can’t decide if you’re wearing me out, or wearing me well”

Are you a fan of techno? I've gotten more into it lately, actually. I've never minded it. Who’s your favorite horror movie villain/monster? Pyramid Head, though he's called Red Pyramid Thing in the movies. Do you have a favorite muscle car? Nah. I'm not big into cars. What would be a total deal-breaker for you, relationship-wise? You so much as lift your hand at me, bye, motherfucker. Would you consider yourself to be accepting of others? Yes, but not as much as I used to be. There are certain opinions I just don't tolerate in people anymore; I feel like by staying associated with people whose views invalidate or in any way harm others (racism, homophobia, transphobia, etc.), you're on the side of evil as well, even if indirectly. However, I genuinely do feel I have a wide range of viewpoints I'm willing to accept in others, even if I don't agree with them. Are you flirtatious? No. I think I'm only capable of flirting with someone I'm already with and very comfortable around. I'd feel way too shy and awkward otherwise. Have you ever just felt "drawn" to someone, but you didn’t know why? "Didn't know why," no. I've felt drawn to people with good reason, like if I was romantically interested in them. Is there anyone you currently want to reach out to? There's a number, honestly. Especially with the aid of therapy, I'm being motivated to strengthen bonds with old friends and/or acquaintances via Facebook. Freddy or Jason? I think Jason is scarier. Freddy tends to come across as cheesy for me. Have stickers or gems on your cell phone? Nah. Ever teased your hair? Bitch I damn well tried in high school because I wanted the ~ l e g i t ~ emo hair, but mine was just too heavy to hold, at least with the hairspray my sister had. Have any friends with benefits? Nah, that's never been my thing. Ever lost of bunch of valuable information? Ummm I don't believe so. I've lost massive RP posts before, but I can't really call those "valuable information." What drinks or food make you hyper? None, really. Most expensive thing you ever bought? With my own money, my snake. She's a champagne morph ball python. What type of toothpaste do you use? Crest. How much time to spend putting on makeup daily? Zero. When listening to a song, what do you listen for (lyrics, bass, beat, ect)? The beat, more than anything else. What is the color of your toothbrush? It's a white electric one. What is your favorite color(s) of eye-makeup? Black. Just black. Are you sexually active? I'm not. Do you have sensitive skin? Very. Are you attracted to several guys atm? I'm actually not attracted to any guys in my personal life atm. How many toilets are in your house? Two. Do you have an older sister? Excluding the one I don't know, I have three older sisters. Favorite song by Owl City? Probably "Hot Air Balloon," but I don't know many at all. What color is your mum’s car? White. Do you truly understand the (LDS) Mormon religion? I don't know what "LDS" means, but as my former best friend developed into a Mormon, I learned some stuff from her in her self-discovery. I don't remember a lot of it, not that I knew all that much in the first place. Where do you keep your kitty litter box? Ugh, Mom's unmovable about it being in my fucking room for some reason. And we have an extra goddamn room no one uses yet. Roman's shit STINKS, like we think something might actually be wrong, but nope, it has to stay in here. e_e It would literally inconvenience nobody if we moved it in the spare room. Are you a lighter complexion than your father? MUCH lighter. He's very tan. Do you like apricots? No. Solid soap bar or liquid body wash? 100% body wash. Bar soap slips so easily, and as someone who lives with another person, I'm not rubbing my body with the same bar my mother uses, no offense to her. Sharing it's just gross. Where do you live (country or state)? Shitty 'ole North Carolina. Do you use plastic, wooden, or wire hangers? I think we have a mix of them, actually. What is your favorite shade of yellow? I only like pastel yellow. Otherwise, it's one of my least favorite colors. Are there any shades of blue that you don’t like? If so, which ones? Ehhh not really. What is something you want to accomplish before you turn 30? God, can I please have a stable career by then. Who has the best decorated house in your town? I don't know. We live in a cul de sac community thing where it's just houses next to houses, so there's a lot to choose from. I don't pay attention to them. What is your favorite part of Halloween? The decorations. Do you feel a connection to the moon? "As above, so below," as the saying goes. What does your heart long for? Peace and contentness with myself. Did you decorate a pumpkin this year? Last year, I didn't. I do want to this year, though, if I can just think of a really good idea. I have to be motivated. What are some fall activities you would do with your kids? I'm not having kids, but I'll follow along, hypothetically. With how much joy Halloween brought me as a kid, I'd want to do SO much as a family with them. Homemade decorations, carving or painting pumpkins together, and hell yeah I'd be taking them trick-or-treating once I felt they were ready and they wanted to. I'd be one of those parents that probably spends too much on whatever costumes they want, haha... Oh, and then besides Halloween, I'd certainly rake leaf piles together for them to jump and play in. This question has brought to mind like ONE thing I could enjoy as a parent, haha. Have you ever seen a fox? I have; besides in a zoo setting, I've seen one or two in the wild run out of sight, and I also found one poor fellow as roadkill that had been disemboweled by I'm assuming vultures. With my whole roadkill photography thing, I literally almost kneeled into a strand of intestines I didn't see at first. :x What color are the squirrels where you live? We only have brown ones. Is there anything about Halloween you find offensive? lol no What do the trees look like where you live? Lots, and lots, and LOTS of pine trees... There are others, but I'm not well-informed on tree species and such. Oh, then of course there are dogwoods (our "state tree"), which are unmistakable because they smell like fucking manure. What is your dream vacation? Maybe the mountains on the western side of NC during the fall... ugh, that would be breathtaking. We actually have an abandoned The Wizard of Oz-themed park around there that allows tours at certain times of the year, and I'd love to visit and photograph there. As well, western NC has the zoo, which would be spectacular to visit with autumn weather and, once again, load up on photos. Did you like field trips when you were a kid? I LOVED field trips. Do you find museums boring or interesting? Very interesting! Would you ever wear a shirt with your country’s flag on it? No. I'm not patriotic enough at all for that. What’s a medicine that makes you sleepy? Historically, larger doses of Klonopin can knock me the fuck out. Do you like bath bombs? Never used one, because I don't do baths. Who are your favorite small YouTubers? I'm going to guesstimate you mean less than 1M subs as "small," because I really don't know what you consider to fit that description. I watch a lot of people with less than 1M, so it's hard to say, but lately it's probably been a let's player John Wolfe. He's really funny. Then there's some tarantula YouTubers, along with the animal educator Emzotic... and really just many others. I think most of the people I watch actually have sub-1M, but more than 500k. Who are your favorite big YouTubers? Markiplier is absolutely, positively #1. I also really enjoy Snake Discovery, GameGrumps, Jeffree Star (don't judge me ok, he's a fuckin hoot), and while I haven't watched them in years, Good Mythical Morning will ALWAYS be deeply, deeeeply embedded in my heart. What was your favorite girl group when you were growing up? Ummm probably the Spice Girls? Have you ever used an outhouse? Ugh, yes, at old childhood sports games. What was the last good cause you donated towards? When I cut off like 8+ inches of hair to accomplish the style I have now, I donated it to Children With Hair Loss. My hair has always been mega-thick and healthy, so why in the world waste it? One of my most cherished items is the certificate I got in return many months later that my donation had been used. Have any of your exes gotten married or had kids since your breakup? I haven't had contact with Juan in many years, don't know what Tyler's up to either, and I haven't spoken to Jason since 2017, so. I'm very doubtful he's married or has kids yet, though, just knowing him and how "I need to be fully prepared for this" he is with big life stuff like that. Does it bother you when people get super emotional? Not at all. I'll do my all to comfort them. Have you ever worked in a restaurant? No. Do you get a lot of thunderstorms where you live? Depends on the time of year. Summertime? Brief but super intense thunderstorms every late afternoon. What was the last drive-thru you went through? Taco Bell w/ Mom. Do you know anyone who claims they can see/feel spirits or other supernatural ‘things?’ No. Do either of your parents have a mental illness? My mom has depression, and Mom is also convinced Dad has either depression masked as anger and/or bipolarity, but following the divorce, I don't see it in him at all. He's never seen a doctor in that field to be diagnosed with any mental illness. What fun things are there to do where you live? Jackshit. Do you know anyone with a really poorly-trained dog? Mother of fucking god, yes. My little sister lives with her best friend, and said friend has a colossal black lab named Hudson that is absolutely uncontrollable because she neglects the shit out of him. Won't listen to you even if it saved his life. He jumps on you, barks endlessly, and if he escapes the house? Good fucking luck getting him inside. She has absolutely no right to own a dog with how shitty of an owner she honestly is. When you were growing up, did your family rent or own your home? They owned it. The idiots who were moving in after us accidentally burnt the place to a fucking crisp, and my parents were SO not happy to lose that house because people were dumb enough to place boxes atop the goddamn stove. Do you do meal-prepping? No. Do you know anyone who got preggo less than a year into their relationship? Multiple people, not that that's my business. What did you dream about last night? I don't remember it clearly, other than I was with Jason and his mother was also present. What's the biggest age difference you've ever had in a relationship? That would have been with Juan, but I don't remember exactly how old he was. I just know I was a freshman and him a senior that got held back a year or so in HS. If you could save one animal from ever becoming extinct, what animal would you pick? Probably bees, given how vital they are. Name the coolest thing about one of your grandparents. My maternal grandmother worked at Disney World. I can't remember what her position was, though. Do you ever eat peanut butter straight from the jar? If I want a healthy snack, sometimes I'll have a scoop. Do you prefer your clothes loose or close fitting? They need to be loose. Favorite thing you’ve ever painted? This big painting of meerkats grooming on burlap I did in high school. Do you always wear a bra? I question the self-love of anyone who can sleep with a bra on. ;__; Do you normally finish one book before starting another? Oh yes, I can't read more than one at a time. Do you prefer reading books, comic books, manga/graphic novels, magazines, or the newspaper? The normal book. Do you know how to play chess? I don't. Are you watching anything? No, but I do have Manson's "Third Day of a Seven Day Binge" on in another tab. What is your blood type? A-. Has anyone ever borrowed something from you and never returned it? Yes. Do you twitch when you're falling asleep? Dude, I more than "twitch." I can just suddenly spaz out and look like I'm seizing for a moment. Another side effect of my nightmare suppressant medication. Are any of your pets “overweight”? No. Has anyone ever bought you a ring? My mom has bought me a few, and Jason gave me one for one of our anniversaries. Where was the last place you took a bath/shower, other than your own house? My sister's place. What first attracted you to the last person you kissed? Just how unique and happy that way she is. And her pretty much undying loyalty. Has someone ever taken a pic of you while you were making out with someone? No, considering I wouldn't go that far with someone unless we were alone. Had a crush on someone you thought shared your sexuality, turns out didn’t? Yes. What’s your favorite color to wear? Black. Does it gross you out if a guy has hair on his chest? I personally don't find an excess of it attractive, but it doesn't "gross me out." If they bathe themselves just like everyone else, why should it? Do you think sexuality is a choice or not? It is absolutely not a choice. If it was, I'd assume most people would choose to be straight, given phobias, hatecrimes, etc... I could write an essay on this. Do you like industrial piercings? Yeah. Do you think stretched ears are disgusting? "Disgusting" is, once again, the wrong word. Gauges don't really gross me out - hell, I want tiny ones -, but they can reach a size that, to me, is not visually appealing. Did you watch animated Barbie movies when you were little? I do remember loving Princess and the Pauper as well as the Rapunzel one; my sister was addicted to them. Oh yeah! Then there was the Swan Lake one that she adored, too. We usually watched movies together. Do you like fruit in your cereal? Big No. Do you like raw vegetables? Ugh, no. Do you listen to A Day to Remember? I do! They're on my list of faves. Do you like funnel cake? I actually don't. Have you ever been with someone while they were getting a tattoo? Yuh.