#with the gayest determination

[eidolons-stuff]

Ajax: "Do you wanna get some cotton candy?"

Enid: "Uhh.... sure. Since we don't have anything else to do"

Ajax: "Great :D"

[napping-sapphic]

me: *trying to coordinate a move, a million payments, multiple outings for the short time left in town, the beginning of the semester, job applications, and textbook lists*

also me: *spends the majority of my time trying to plan my gayest outfit for the first day of classes next week so all the other gay people Know™️*

[booktomoviebrawl]

Was your favorite book turned into an absolutely god awful movie?

If so, you may be entitled to emotional compensation! In this tournament, the worst adaptions will duke it out to determine which is, actually, The Absolute Worst.

Qualifications:

Must be an adaptation of a book. If I allowed things like comic books, the entire mcu would be submitted

It doesn't actually have to be a bad movie-- take How To Train Your Dragon, for example. It's a great movie! I love it! I would even say that it's my favorite movie! It's not a good adaption, though. Very different from the books (or at least, the two that I read)

It doesn't have to be a movie-- if a book got adapted into a really shitty show, then that would be allowed in

Rules:

Be civil. It is a silly tumblr tournament. If you absolutely must, then beat down the adaption of your fave, rather than beating down the original, or you know, REAL ACTUAL PEOPLE.

Propaganda is allowed and encouraged, both during the voting and submission periods

Honestly there's nothing I can think of to ban so I'm just going to leave you here with another message: I know where the block button is.

Automatic entries:

Percy Jackson

Eragon

Artemis Fowl

Submissions closed!

@bestanimatedmovie @badass-queer-couples-battle @gayest-non-canon-showdown @cringefaillosersummit @undatablebracket @underrated-adversaries

[victimsofyaoipoll]

Round 2

Propaganda Under Cut

Annabeth Chase

I feel like fandom is kinda split on her with percabeth shippers loving her but any m/m shipper I've seen does not like her, really. She is my bae tho <3

Percabeth antis grind my gears so much because they never hate Percy, nono, even though he's arguably done more questionable stuff than Annabeth. Not everyone who hates her is doing so because of a mlm ship— the Perachel stans claim that Annabeth is a misogynist. However, basically everyone that isn't trying to ship her boyfriend with Rachel is trying to ship him with Jason, Nico, or her old friend Luke. They make her out to be this horrible abusive girlboss(derogatory) that she's simply... not. She doesn't insult Percy for having ADHD just because she's highly intelligent. She doesn't physically abuse him, and doesn't lay a finger on him outside of training. She's really devoted to him in a non-anti-feminist way. They just hate her for 'getting in the way' of Nico's convoluted attraction to Percy, or Jason's close friendship with him, or Luke's rivalry with him. But those relationships all flourish the way they were intended by the author: non-romantically. It's not Annabeth's fault for being intelligent or capable or jokingly snide or determined or any of those non-stereotypically-feminine qualities. She's just out here existing and people hate her for not being a man. Sorry for the rant.

She's canonically in a relationship with Percy Jackson for most of the books they're in, but he often gets paired in canon with other male characters, such as Nico di Angelo or Jason Grace. In fan fiction (especially yaoi focused ones) she's characterized as being a stuck up know it all, but she gets into plenty of shenanigans in canon and can be pretty goofy and sweet!

Sakura Haruno

Her husband is gay and her author doesn't know how to write women. So many people say she's the worst but she. DESERVES. BETTER!!! Save her from this franchise.

My baby girl my bestie my best friend. She committed the crime of um being written by kishimoto who both doesn’t know how to write women and somehow writes men in the gayest way possible specifically naruto and sasuke. Like the thing is naruto and sasuke ARE gay and also she gets so much hate for the crime of kishimoto writing her one dimensionally in love with sasuke. I know her personally she is a butch lesbian to me just trust me she’s in love with Ino and has a lesbian thing going on with Karin okay just trust me. My everything. She needs to divorce the loveless lavender marriage she’s in 

What is there to say, even? The OG Threat to my 90s anime brain, the only woman I've ever hated with such a passion she made me turn away from the color pink. I used to write fics with my friend where she got left behind on purpose so our OCs could join the Naruto and Sasuke team instead. I loathed this bitch until I was 16 and realized the author simply couldnt write women and decided it was time to make peace with Sakura. It is not her fault she's vaguely written and obsessive over Sasuke. She deserves better. Sasuke and Naruto still should be together and Sakura shouldnt be with Sasuke but I no longer believe this because I hate Sakura, it is because I love her. She deserves a spouse who will actually put in the time to treat her like the hero she is.

[the-ballerina-battle]

🩰Welcome to The Ballerina Battle!🩰

The battle to determine who the best ballet dancer character of all time is!

Rules:

No real people!

Despite the name, this competition is not exclusive to ladies, characters of all genders are allowed in. :)

The submitted character must canonically be a ballet dancer.

The character does not need to be seen dancing on screen to be submitted.

You may submit multiple characters from one series, but only one submission per character!

Propaganda is allowed!

Characters can be submitted through the Google Form, in an ask, or in a submitted post.

Submissions will close on Saturday, September 23 at 11:59pm!

Google Form:

Tags for reach:

@gaslightgatekeepgirlbosscombat, @fandomanimatic-tournament, @mommy-daddy-issues-poll, @red-riding-poll, @virtcharactertournament, @2010sytshowdown, @fictional-actors-bracket, @4thwallbreakersshowdown, @canonmisogynyvictimstournament, @gayest-non-canon-showdown, @ocd-character-polls, @victimsofyaoipoll, @look-how-they-massacred-them, @funky-shoe-battle, @theater-kid-throwdown, @guys-with-good-vibes-tournament, @hybrid-battle, @blackhair-redeyes-tournament, @the-ghost-bracket, @horror-lady-tournament, @generic-anime-boy-bracket, @moon-swag-tourney, @possessedswag, @whitewomanbracket, @greengirlfight, @purplegirltournament, @purpleboytournament, @school-of-all-time, @pinkpurpleplayoffs, @pinkhairswagtourney, @strawberrylemonadeswagtourney, @indigenous-character-tournament

[rogueddie]

Haunted by the look Steve gave Eddie after he interrupted Stancy by throwing his vest, hard, at Steves face. The nod, the determination, the way it almost seems like he's seeing a challenge and deciding "oh yeah, I can beat you".

Is it annoyance, is it hetero, or is it the gayest thing I ever done seen? Conclusions are yet to be drawn...

[fairytale-poll]

CINDERELLA TOURNAMENT SUBMISSIONS!

Submissions will be open since Monday, October 2 until Monday October, 16. I may extend submissions or end them early depending on how many characters are submitted.

Submit a Cinderella character (as in: a character who represents Cinderella; not any character in a Cinderella-themed piece of media) from any type of media (animation/live action/book/comics/etc.)

No unofficial characters (fan characters/OCs/etc.) + no real people.

You can submit more than one character, but please don't submit the same character multiple times or else they will be banned from the tournament.

Retelling & characters "acting" as Cinderella will be accepted!

The bracket will be determined depending on how many submissions there are. If there are a lot of submissions, then it will be a bigger bracket; the less submissions, then it will be a smaller bracket. The goal is to have at least a 32-poll bracket just like Red Riding Poll, but with there being more Cinderella adaptations out there than Red Riding Hood ones, I think we could easily get to a 64-poll bracket.

I reserve the right to not include a character if the piece of media for any reason.

Be nice-- this is just for fun! May the best Cinderella win!

Tags for visibility under the cut:

@princess-polls @braidpoll @big-brother-battle-bracket @most-meaningless-death @yellowcharactertournament @worstygocharacter @underratedygocharactersfight @booktomoviebrawl @magical-mascot-smackdown @yen-sids-tournament @animemusicbrackets @victimsofyaoipoll @dumbass-duo-showdown @the-ballerina-battle @action-brodown @mommy-daddy-issues-poll @guys-with-good-vibes-tournament @most-datable-datable-bracket @the-blue-battle @gayest-persona-character

[beanghostprincess]

What’s so fascinating about shuggy that makes you go this wild? Aren’t shanks completely over this guy? And buggy just bitter? Am I interpreting it wrong?

I'm not gonna ask whether you want the short or the long version, because I'm gonna give you the longest, gayest version no matter what you tell me. So. Yeah. I think I'm kind of crazy about them but in a very normal way (I just lied on the internet). I'm gonna answer your last three questions before actually getting into the subject of why Shuggy makes me go so wild:

(Spoilers: manga ch.1082 and that Wano flashback)

Shanks being "completely over this guy" would be a very simple way to put his feelings for Buggy into words, I think. Although the fandom exaggerates the way he feels for him (turning into obsession and just complete depression) for fun or for angst purposes (I must say I don't really dislike it and I do believe Shanks still holds Buggy close to his heart in this way, and if we talk in a shippy way, he's definitely the clingy one) I think Shanks isn't completely over Buggy. At least not in the cynical way some people say. I think that after parting ways, Shanks accepted Buggy leaving him. I don't think he quite understands his reasons (he never will, tbh) but accepted his decision. I think he tried to choose the more mature way (not that he had other options) and moved on. But moving on doesn't mean forgetting or being completely over someone, because I wholeheartedly think that even if Buggy isn't on his mind 24/7, he's still one of the most important people in Shanks' life and story. Buggy is there in the back of his mind like a catchy song you can't get rid of, you know? It itches sometimes, too, but Shanks can't do anything about it so he just lives with it. To Shanks, he would gladly reconnect with Buggy and go back to the way they were in the blink of an eye, but he knows it can't be. I think Shanks has moved on but the second somebody mentions Buggy he goes into nostalgia mode and thinks about their times together back when they were just kids with endless dreams aboard the Oro Jackson. I think Shanks has more things to worry about than his past to be the way the fandom portrays him, but that doesn't mean he has completely forgotten about it and doesn't want Buggy back. Because he definitely does.

Buggy is- He isn't just bitter. I don't think you can say Buggy is just bitter when Shanks' decision was what determined his whole life. Leaving the thing about the map and the devil fruit aside (which also affects the story but we know his resentment isn't really about that) Buggy has every right to feel the way he does towards Shanks. Perhaps it's just that I find this pathetic clown to be very relatable, but I will always be both a Buggy apologist and defender. I'll probably get into a more detailed version of this later, but Buggy isn't just bitter. Buggy is rightfully frustrated at how his life ended up to be without Shanks. "But he's the one who left Shanks"... Is he, though? He did leave Shanks physically, but Shanks was the first to break the relationship. The thing about Buggy that I absolutely love is how his character portrays envy and jealousy into a... I wouldn't say healthy way, but at least not a damaging way to Shanks. Despite fighting all the time, they obviously loved and cared for each other. Being best friends and the youngest of the crew, always together in both the worst and best of their moments, etc. So Buggy, even though he lived as Shanks' shadow, that isn't why he's resentful towards him. He could be angry about that, right? Just bitter Roger chose him to keep his legacy alive instead of him. But no. Buggy chose to follow Shanks instead because he trusted him. Because he thought "Well, I might not be able to follow my dream, but Shanks will do it for us as our captain's legacy". Which makes sense because they were so damn close. They're always together. Like. Just watch/read the Oden flashback. Their presentation was even together, lmfao. And when they talk about them, they mention them together. The whole thing about Shanks not going to Laugh Tale to take care of Buggy? It's just- It's just so obvious that they were best friends and intended to be together forever. Buggy was willing to follow Shanks until the end of the world until Shanks hesitated when asked about following Roger's steps (Buggy doesn't actually say he'll be in Shanks' crew, but the way he reacts to Shanks' words makes me think he would've accepted to go with him as a co-captain until... Well. Yeah. That happened). And like, I get it. Shanks knew they were too young. Shanks knew they needed to grow up and live more experiences as pirates before going to Laugh Tale and for the One Piece. For Shanks it's just a little pause before they actually fulfill their dreams. But for Buggy? For Buggy, his whole world is crumbling down because the person he trusted the most literally told him he wasn't going to follow their dream. For Buggy, Shanks doesn't take the role of Roger's legacy seriously enough, so it's unfair. It's unfair that he had to leave his dream behind for him. It's unfair that he trusted him. It's unfair that Shanks didn't believe in himself. It's unfair that their captain died. It's unfair that now Buggy has to be completely on his own, with no ability to swim and no map to follow because Shanks also ruined that for him. So, yeah, Buggy is a bit more than just bitter, and rightfully so. It's classic miscommunication because obviously, Shanks wasn't going to give up on going to Laugh Tale, but Buggy takes it that way. And he also sees it as Shanks doubting himself and the dream and it's unfair that the one who got the straw hat is the one to hesitate, and the one who didn't get anything is the one who wants to fight for their dream. Buggy is more than just bitter. I know it's played for laughs, but his grudge towards Shanks is deeper than that.

You are not interpreting it wrong, tbh. I think the fandom just exaggerates their behavior and in canon you pretty much have to analyze the characters to fully understand them. If you're not a fan of these two characters, their whole relationship can feel like "Oh, they were just friends in the same crew" even when it's way deeper than that. Although I think chapter 1082 (my favorite chapter ngl I've read it so many times google instantly shows it to me when I look for the page where I read OP) explains what I just said pretty well from Buggy's POV.

So now onto the real question, what's so fascinating about Shuggy?

I'm gonna be honest with you, before writing this I have to say that I have a tendency to love these types of ships. Soukoku (BSD) and Satosugu (JJK) are no exception and they follow the same "former BFFs/partners who turned into enemies and are very very gay". The reason I like these three ships so much is probably because of personal experiences I'm not gonna talk about, but somebody mentioned something very interesting about lesbians/sapphics relating to these ships because we always have this experience about having a really close girl bff that we have a crush on, but since we don't acknowledge the real feelings, it ends up in a very toxic way that leads only to resentment and nostalgia. And, you know, as a lesbian who has been through that I can confirm wholeheartedly that this is why Shuggy is so important to me (considering Shuggy a ship for the lesbians in my heart </3)

Leaving that aside and the fact that childhood best friends to lovers is like my favorite trope, I just think their characters are so perfectly written. And it's surprising because they barely have scenes talking about each other or being with each other (Marineford is Shuggys' Roman Empire atp, although I will always remember that first flashback in episode 8 in the anime. That changed my life fr). But their story is made with so much care and love for the characters (it's obvious Oda likes Buggy a lot) that you can feel it. At least I do. Because although not having many scenes they've completely taken over my heart and soul.

Shanks is a very complicated character due to lack of information and the fact that we know he hides something deeper, but he is, after all, a symbol of hope and dreams. At least for our main character. Shanks is the main reason why Luffy becomes a pirate and there are so many parallelisms between them that I can't count them. I find it so ironic that the symbol of hope and freedom Luffy follows is actually somebody who crushed somebody's dreams and hopes. Talk about irony, right? And then we have Buggy, who's the complete opposite. With Buggy's first appearance (and honestly all of his scenes until the Wano flashback and chapter 1082) we think he's one of the bad guys. And yeah, all of them are like that because they're pirates and yadda yadda. But I'm talking about "bad guy" as in "bad bad person with no hopes and dreams and that is just interested in being feared and powerful". And he is a failguy. A very funny one, too. But he's so much more. And the fact that this comedic relief character that's always played for laughs when it comes to his own misery turns out to be the one who has the biggest of dreams and the biggest of heartbreaks about it? It just shatters my heart.

Shuggy makes me go wild because of Buggy, mostly, ngl. I wouldn't like Shanks this much if it wasn't for Shuggy, probably (I love him a ton outside of his relationship with Buggy, but you know, it makes things a lot easier). I like Shuggy because the topics the ship touches are very emotional and angsty and they crush me completely. Buggy living in Shanks' shadow? Buggy wanting to follow Roger's steps and following Shanks instead because his self-esteem disappeared the moment his captain's legacy ended up on Shanks instead of him? The trust he had in Shanks? The way Shanks hesitates and the way Buggy refuses to follow somebody like that? Buggy running away on his own because he gave up his dream for somebody who doesn't even treat it the way it deserves? It's just heartbreaking. Especially if you have in mind that they just lost the man that raised them.

Buggy then becomes somebody that people make fun of and ridicule, and they don't even think about the possibility of him being part of the crew of the king of the pirates. And when they find out, they can't believe it. They don't talk about this much, but I think that it must hurt so fucking much to be seen this way. He was just as important as Shanks. Roger loved him too. And to this day, being Shanks' shadow still haunts him. I love the angst Shuggy has. It breaks me and I love it.

Then, (and this is something I adore) with the creation of Cross Guild, Buggy has the chance to get out of Shanks' shadow. He's surrounded by two guys who only think about money and stability and business and... It's boring, isn't it? It's not flashy! And I think he has this realization of "this is my chance to prove I'm worth something. This is my chance to actually go for my dream. Mine" because these two idiots keep talking about boring things instead of following their dreams and aspirations and bigger things! And it just shows how much Buggy truly cared about Laugh Tale and the One Piece and how much he has had to wait for it. And this has nothing to do with Shuggy, I just really love this fucking clown.

Oh, and I forgot to mention that I love Shanks making Buggy lose the map and eat the devil fruit. Because, okay, in retrospect it feels very stupid because it was a simple accident. But just hear me out- Even though it was an accident, Buggy lost his ability to swim for powers he didn't want. He lost the ability of independence, because what's a pirate on his own if he can't swim? He lost his individuality that night, and we see him depend on others constantly throughout the show. And Shanks mentioning that Buggy is a great swimmer? Oh, fuck you Oda for making me cry so early in the show. Then, the map. He lost his individuality and then he lost the only thing that led him to a future with treasures and his dreams. Then again, losing his independence because he couldn't just go on his own without a map. Fucking great. The fact that Shanks jumps to rescue him the second Buggy starts to drown haunts me at night, too. They're just so-- Ugh.

But Shuggy is not everything about Buggy's resentment and angst. And it's not about Shanks missing him and wanting his best friend back because he doesn't know what happened for him to run away so easily.

It's also about unconditional love, and I am so passionate about that. Shanks care and love for Buggy is something the fandom exaggerates but... These people are not wrong, tbh. Shanks gave up his dream to go to Laugh Tale (postponed it) to stay with Buggy and take care of him because he was sick. Shanks is a very selfless person all the way, and when it comes to Buggy it seems that he doesn't hesitate to put him first (in serious situations. Their usual arguments don't count. They're just stupid, and love to argue and fight like the divorced couple they are). And besides, this happens right in the same episode after Toki gets sick and Oden wants to take care of her but she forces him to follow his dream and leave her behind. Like- What the actual fuck. Ah, yes, parallel the main couple in the Wano arc. I'm sure that's not romantic at all. The difference is that Shanks stayed. And god, does that hurt. Especially when he says they'll go on their own one day, because it shows he cared about Laugh Tale too (I mean, ofc, but from Buggy's POV it's just different).

To end this I also want to say that, leaving the whole deep analysis behind: Their personalities just match. They're funny to watch. They're cute. They have an angsty story behind them. They won't stop arguing like little kids but they care for each other still. They are chaotic. They're just... Perfect for each other.

Hope you liked my tiny essay about them because I could've kept going on and on and on about it, but some people (like me, sadly) have to wake up early tomorrow to work instead of just posting about gay fictional characters (somebody please pay me to do these things and I'll stay on tumblr 24/7).

[anniflamma]

Rating the most gayest King David adaptions

For the past few weeks, I have been watching and reviewing ALOT different adaptations of the story of King David from the Bible to determine which ones are the gayest.

But first, let me provide you with a recap of David and Jonathan's story.

David and Jonathan were two central figures in the Hebrew Bible, with their story primarily found in the First Book of Samuel. David was a ruddy shepherd boy who became famous for slaying the giant Goliath with a stone and a sling. Jonathan, on the other hand, was the son of King Saul, the first king of Israel. Jonathan's heart was captured instantly upon seeing the striking young hero. As the Bible says, “The soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David.” Shortly after their first meeting, David and Jonathan expressed their commitment by making a covenant with each other. This significant moment is vividly portrayed in 1 Samuel 18:3-4: "Then Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as his own soul. Jonathan removed the robe he was wearing and presented it to David, along with his armor, sword, bow, and girdle." David and Jonathan grew so close that it appeared they might one day rule Israel together throughout the following 15 years. However, they faced numerous challenges when King Saul grew jealous of David's popularity and success, fearing that David might take the throne from his family. Saul attempted to kill David multiple times, while Jonathan consistently came to his friend's rescue through various means. However, they were eventually forced to part ways. "And as soon as the lad was gone, David arose out of a place toward the South, fell on his face to the ground, and bowed himself three times. They kissed one another and wept, one with another, until David exceeded." Tragically, Jonathan lost his life in battle against the Philistines, leaving David in deep mourning. He composed a heartfelt lament known as the "Song of the Bow" (or what is famously called “How the Mighty Fallen”) to honor Jonathan and Saul's memory. "I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother; you were very dear to me. Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women."

So, as you can see, I will rate each adaptation based on its portrayal of three specific moments:

Jonathan removes his clothes and makes a covenant with David.

When they have to separate from each other, as they embrace, kiss, cry, and David exceeds.

David's lament that he loved Jonathan more than women.

If these three moments are faithfully retained in the adaptation without altering the text, it will be considered queer in my evaluations. Naturally, there may be exceptions if the adaptation deviates significantly from the original material or if it primarily focuses on adapting specific aspects of the story while still hinting at or incorporating subtexts. In such cases, they may also receive points.

NOW, LET'S BEGIN!

Disclaimer: Some of these "reviews" will sound professional, while others I will act like a gremlin, because these movies actually broke my brain cells. So if you get whiplash from how my behavior suddenly changes all the time, consider yourself warned.

Another disclaimer: Don't be like me and do something similar to this... I don't think this was healthy for my brain.

Jonathan what now..? 1/5

So I'm going to be kind and bring up that the story of King David is long, especially if you make an adaption of his whole life. It's reasonable to expect modifications to accommodate the chosen medium. And frequently, this leads to Jonathan's character being sidelined, either because he's deemed less important or because there's too little time to delve into his role in the story.

Due to that, I won't delve deeply into those adaptions because of that.

Superbook Reimagined (2011) - CBN

Jonathan doesn't exist in Superbook... That all. I WONT TALK ABOUT THE SUPERBOOK.

David and Goliath - Animated Stories from the Bible (1985) - Rich Animation Studios

So this one is pretty interesting. Apparently the same studio that made The Swan Princess (1994) made the series called Animated Stories from the Bible. And I weren't aware of this while watching this episode, however I did noticed, that yes, this had a very low budget but you could tell that it was made by professionals. I have one thing I need to comment on this movie. Eliab and Jonathan looks pretty goooood...

I mean LOOK AT JONATHAN! FFF***KING HELL! HE LOOKS LIKE A HOT VILLIAN AND I LOVE IT! The character designs are sleek! Expect for David. David was trash. So why is this one so low down on my ratings? You see the episode only focus on the upcoming fight between David and Goliath. In a sense, the episode's emotional core are more about David and his brother Eliab, with the brother not believing that David could defeat the enemy. Jonathan has a really small role, and he doesn't really interact with David that much. However there is a scene, when Saul gives his armor to the shepherd and it doesn't fit him cuz he is a smol bean, Jonathan comments on that the boy is going to get killed while having this frustrating / angry tone. Indicating that Jonathan don't believe that David and of course get astonished once he triumph. But that is all we get. I wished I could rate this higher simply to I just love the character designs.

David - A Musical by Sound & Sight Theater

Alright, I'm going to say it. This is probably the most campiest and "we need to tell you about Jesus" - musical there is. The songs are freaking great, very modern, almost anime-ish and very EPIC! But then they suddenly they strike you with, "Hey do you know who Jesus is?" Anyway, my favorite songs of this musical is Never Back and Psalm 24.

I only listened to this musical on its recorded album. Overall, I found it very enjoyable! However, I was quite disappointed that they didn't have Jonathan none of their songs. There were no solos for him, and all I could do was imagine if there was a strip covenant scene or not between each number. They didn't even have a "We are best bros" song! They also removed a lot from the emotional core when David mourned the loss of Jonathan. David sings the song "How The Mighty Fall," which is very short, but for some reason, I really liked it. Even though it's short and David only repeats Jonathan's name over and over again, I could feel that sadness. Still, the musical also left out several scenes from the original story, possibly because it aimed to be more family-friendly and was very sanitized so no one would get upset. AND WHY IS THIS MUSICAL ENDING WITH JESUS?!!

David “the straightest man” and Michal his truest love that has ever existed before Bathsheba came into the picture and a lot of Shoulder Taps for Jonathan 2/5

Superbook (1981) - Tatsunoko Productions

I can't believe that I watched three episodes of Superbook... Can I explain this mess without dying inside? So, this is a Japanese anime from 1981. The series covers the events of the entire Bible in its 52-episode run. I watched the English dub, and yeah, what else can I say? It's probably the best dub I've ever heard, with genius acting, including their screams. You can tell they aren't really screaming because they know it will break the mics. To get straight to the point, their relationships are just good friendships, and they see each other as brothers. However, they do follow the story very faithfully, pun intended. But, of course, they add in more scenes with Michal so her relationship with David looks romantic, and Jonathan takes on a wingman role. There is no stripping scene, which is understandable since it's an animated series for kids. Instead, they merge the covenant scene with their separation. To sum it up, they shake hands and repeatedly tell the audience that they are only friends. Okay, we get it!

But then we have the Lament scene: "Oh Lord, may you have mercy on his soul. Your glory, O Israel, has been slain. How the mighty have fallen in battle. I grieve for you, Jonathan, my brother… My brother…" THEY WERE SO CLOSE! They looked at the rest, "You were very dear to me. Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women," and then they were like CUT! But the best delivery line in this adaptation must go to Saul: "How stupid to believe he could murder a hundred philistines without being murdered HA HA HA HA!" I can't do this anymore…!

King David (1997) - Mondo TV

This Italian animated movie features child actors who can't seem to deliver a line without mumbling and speaking at the lowest decibel levels imaginable. Thank goodness that Kid David and Kid Jonathan grew up after… Let me check… The first 15 minutes of this movie… Well, they are childhood friends in this one, so I guess that's a win. Michal is from Sweden. Saul repeatedly tells his (also Swedish) wife to stfu in every scene he's in. Storywise, this movie shakes things up a bit. When David is chased into the wilderness, both Michal and Jonathan join him…? It's really confusing what's going on because the next moment Jonathan is back with Saul, hearing his plan to attack David in the mountains, so he runs back to David to deliver the news. All of this happens in about 3 minutes. But when they finally have their farewell scene, they, of course, do the Shoulder Tap! However, they hug with an animation that lasts for like 3 frames, and… you know what, I'll just let you witness this…

And then we have the Lament. It's pretty faithful, but as you guessed, they changed the last line from "You were very dear to me. Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women." to "I loved Jonathan as a brother. We rode together, his hair flowing free in the wind." …I don't know if they made it worse or better…

King David - A musical by Alan Menken & Tim Rice

I acted like a fangirl when I realized that Alan Menken and Tim Rice had created a musical about King David! I was so hyped and really thought it was going to be really gay... I think I expected too much...

The musical premiered in 1997 and was a grand and ambitious show. While it may not be as well-known as some of Menken and Rice's other collaborations, such as "The Little Mermaid" or "Beauty and the Beast," I was blown away that this musical even existed in the first place. The music itself is really good. It reminds me of "The Hunchback of Notre Dame" but more campy. My favorite is the song "The Death Of Saul." Genius! And of course, "Never Again," sung by Judy Kuhn. There are so many Disney stars in this show! It's insane! However, this musical is not without its flaws. The story's scope, which covers many events, can at times feel rushed or disjointed. The mistake that the creators made was trying to cover it all. So the musical has 2 acts. The first is about David in his younger years until he becomes king, and the second act covers everything from Bathsheba to Absalom's revolt, ending with kid Solomon singing about Jerusalem. This results in Jonathan becoming like a background character, and this makes me really angry. So almost every scene that David and Jonathan have together, Jonathan is replaced with Michal. TIM?! ALAN?! What are you two doing??? You are basically telling us, without explicitly telling us, that the relationship of David and Jonathan is queer by having Michal instead. Like... what..? This is the same guy who made "Jesus Christ Superstar," and that show is definitely "not straight", so I have no idea what's going on in his head. Anyway, Jonathan has only 1 song/melody called "You Have It All." It's when Saul shows that he's going crazy when David becomes popular, and Jonathan takes David away from the palace to a safe place. Sigh... You can tell by the lyrics that Tim is trying to be cheeky but immediately backtracks by having both David and Jonathan overly articulate the word "friend" in the song. (I seriously recommend you to listen to the song, just so you understand what I mean.) DAVID "I love my friend!!! as I love life and both I cherish. Uncompromising and unfailing. I swear this covenant we make will never perish. In any circumstance prevailing" JONATHAN "It's very hard when things come easy. You start to fear a bitter end. I promise you, you have a friend!!!" However, Jonathan gets a reprise again in the separation scene, but then Michal suddenly pushed Jonathan aside and takes it over with her own song. Then we have the Lament. The song itself is really good and beautiful. It's like a sad Disney song. But the lyrics themselves have this uncertain tone on who David is singing about. But they do reveal it at the end. "Jonathan... Jonathan... Who loved me more bravely than you, whether harlots or wives!" We can clearly see that David mourns over him. But for me, it feels so awkward...

They are just friends..? 3/5

The King: Story of David (2004)

I felt like I was on shrooms watching this. There's this three-minute scene where David sings to Saul... I can't even explain it, it's just horrible. Poor Saul looks absolutely horrified when this abomination of character design from a different show enters the room and sings with the voice of an adult woman.

AND WHY IS MICHAL PURPLE?! They also switch her name’s pronunciations like 5 times in this movie... Well, about Jonathan. So they took the approach that David is a literary child and had Jonathan as an adult… What the hell am I supposed to say about this? Oh god... I hate this.

Then David grows up, gets the same artstyle as the other adults and instead of Saul nagging David to marry Michal, it's David himself that asks Saul to marry his daughter, just to make sure that we know that he loves her soooo much. This results in Saul wanting to kill him, which leads to the separation scene. So maybe you are now asking me, why is this movie up here on the list? Looks like they made sure that David was the straightest man that has ever straightening. Oooh, I’ll get there. So we get to see a jpg of David and Jonathan look at each other for like 10 seconds, then tap each other on their shoulders, look at each other eyes and David says with the most sultry voice ever “Jonathan…”. Surprisingly, hug each other and weep. huh… didn't expect that. That voice that David used was enough to make the whole freaking movie a gay so that's why it's up here. If I ever have to watch this again, I need to get paid.

The Bible (2013)

Ah, yes, I remember this one. I watched it when it aired on TV, and I was just a wee little teen falling in love with the guy who played Samson. But we'll be watching the fourth episode of "The Bible Series." This episode was a speed run through the whole story of David, with a lot of stuff cut. Yet, the subtext in this adaptation is gorgeous! We have David walking to Goliath and Jonathan looking on with worry in his eyes—MULTIPLE TIMES! And miraculously, the actor managed to hit Goliath despite having the freaking sun in his eyes at full blast. That poor actor with his nonstop squinted eyes couldn’t see shit on set. Once Goliath is defeated, Jonathan and Saul run to David and are proud of him. All we get from the Covenant Stripping scene is Jonathan taking David's hand and telling him to come with him and fight the enemies, like best bros! Then a montage arrives, and David and Jonathan are older. Saul is jealous and touches David a little too much for my comfort. Meanwhile, Jonathan is just sitting on the floor eating figs. Wat?

And then Saul proposes the idea that David should marry Michal, and Jonathan's face falls. Gasp! David gets sent to kill 100 Philistines, and we get this wonderful scene with Saul and Jonathan. Saul: "You love him like a brother, don't you?" Jonathan responds with a warm, soft smile, looking at David riding away. "I do..." Saul gives off big "My son is totally straight" vibes. Sadly, this episode neither has the separating scene nor anything that resembles a covenant. And yes, they also skipped the majority of the Lament. Maybe I am projecting... I am probably projecting.

They are friends! I PROMISE! 4/5

King David (1985) - Paramount Pictures

This movie provides a different angle on the biblical story of David and Jonathan. The film includes a line that suggests a strong emotional connection between the two characters, though it doesn't explicitly delve into romance. It doesn't say that David and Jonathan are in a romantic relationship, but it makes you think that they have deeper layers to their "bond." In other words, I really ship them in this adaptation! They didn't have the strip scene, but they did have a scene where both of them are at a lake, water sparkling in the sun, looking into each other's eyes. Jonathan softly cups David's cheek and says, "I love you as I love my own soul."

... Wait, he touched his shoulder softly, not his cheek... Forget it. But they are very tender toward each other. However, we can't have great things because the separation scene was very weak. All we get is that they are both on horses, and then they just say goodbye, and that's it. No hugs, no tears, no kissing, and no exceeding David. But I can add that Jonathan's death was very heartbreaking. After watching awful animated death scenes, it was a breath of fresh air. The Lament, for some reason, had a spooky tune, not really like a man grieving for his soulmate. Why is this adaptation so high up for me? Well, Jonathan said "I love you" while looking into David's eyes with a beautiful natural background. That is enough for me.

Ancient Lovers 5/5

Beloved King: A queer bible musical

(There mentions of SA)

You can already tell by the name of the musical... "Beloved King" follows the young shepherd David as he is thrust from rural fields into the royal court. After his sudden rise to prominence, David finds himself the object of affection of both the heir to the throne, Prince Jonathan, and his father, the domineering King Saul, forcing David to re-navigate his relationship to love and power as he tries to follow the path laid out for him by a mysterious entity called God. The first-ever staged readings of "Beloved King," complete with all songs and live accompaniment, were scheduled for March 12th and March 13th, 2020, at Oberon, the second stage of the American Repertory Theater, in Harvard Square. Both events sold out well in advance, but they were canceled the day before opening due to COVID-19. However, the team rallied and quickly pivoted to film a dress rehearsal in an empty theater just before lockdown. One of the most hilarious things about this musical is that the characters are dressed in simple linen garments that look like they belong in a children's nativity school play, only to have David and/or Jonathan strip and expose their flashy sparkling spandex briefs. Undeniably, it fits perfectly with the nightclub-inspired atmosphere that this show has.

This musical feels like it's straight from the Archive of Our Own. Jonathan and David are dating, and we have a jealous Saul who is not jealous of David's popularity, instead, he desires him sexually and tries to bang him. When David denies Saul, that's when Saul tries to kill him instead.

The musical has all three scenes checked. The covenant scene, with Jonathan stripping and "more." There was a scene of their farewell, however, they haven't released that one song, so I can't really say anything about it yet. Lastly, the lament song in its full glory. Sadly, the whole musical isn't out yet. They have only released six demo samples, and let me say that "ADONI" is THE MEET-CUTE SONG!

This musical was the very thing that made me nerd out on the Bible again. So maybe I am biased, but how can I be biased if they depict David and Jonathan's first meeting with them banging each other in Jonathan's tent?

David et Jonathas: An opera by Marc-Antoine Charpentier

This one was a hidden gem I didn't know existed. Thank you @alatabouleau for the recommendation! It's an opera from 1688. It's all in French, so I was worried that I would have missed all of the lyrics, but I found a translation pamphlet and found one of the concerts on the live-opera Versailles website. All I can say is it was beautiful and so, so, so queer.

The prologue starts with Saul, disguised as a visitor, consulting the Witch of Endor to learn his fate in an upcoming battle against the Philistines. The Witch summons the spirit of Samuel, who predicts Saul's downfall, including losing his family and crown.

In Act 1, David, banished by Saul, seeks refuge among the Philistines. He returns from a victory and is praised by warriors, shepherds, and freed captives. David only wishes that, whatever may come, Jonathan should be spared. The Philistine king tells David that a truce has been arranged between the Philistines and Saul to discuss whether there shall be peace or war.

In Act 2, during the truce, David and Jonathan reunite. And then they both sing the song “A vostre bras vainqueur,” and it's the most beautiful harmonic song I have ever heard. It sounds so romantic, even if they are only singing about them being best friends. However, jealousy brews as Joabel challenges David to combat, leading to a plot against him. Joabel convinces Saul that David is a threat, leading to David's exile again.

In Act 3, Saul accuses David of treason, and David is forced to leave. However, Jonathan follows David into the wilderness so they can sing their goodbye, “Vous me fuiez!” Don’t forget this is an opera, so everyone is really dramatic, and I'm loving it. JONATHAN “You flee from me!” DAVID “You always follow me!” JONATHAN “May I not share my grief with you?” DAVID “See into what danger my misfortune leads you. Let us forget one another.” JONATHAN “Cruel one!“ The song continues with them singing about not wanting to be apart and if they see each other in the battlefield, they won’t fight, but instead save the one they love. And then the song ends with David trying to leave again, and Jonathan begs once more, only to be told by David: “Would you now wish to add to my torment with your tears?”

This song… I want to make an animatic of it...

In Act 4, Saul prepares to battle the Philistines and David. Both armies are eager for war, fueled by Joabel's manipulations. David promises to save Jonathan and his father.

And lastly, in Act 5, the battle unfolds, with Saul's defeat. Then the song “Qu’on sauve Jonathas” starts. Jonathan is mortally wounded, and David finds him. He believes that Jonathan is dead and mourns for him, which wakes Jonathan up to be able to speak to David one last time, asking: “What sad voice is calling me?”. David begs Jonathan for him to live, but the prince tells him that he can’t. And with his final words, he kisses David and then dies in his arms.

“Despite the harshness of my fate, At least I can still tell you that I love you. ” David is to be declared the new king of Israel, but he still grieves for Jonathan, ending the opera with his final line: “I have lost what I love. My Lord, to me all is lost.”

Well, I cried in my bed.

I didn't know that I needed a story where David was by Jonathan's side in his last moments in life. And the kiss! THE KISS! Though the kiss depends on which adaptations you see. If it's 2022, then there is no kiss, but if it's the 2012 version, then there is one. However, with or without a kiss, it's still romantically tragic.

Here is PDF links to pamphlets with english translations:

English translation (2009 version)

English + German translation (1998 version)

The Prince's Psalm: A novel by Eric Swan Quinn

So here it is, Beloved King: A queer bible musical was the one that pushed me down into the rabbit hole but The Prince's Psalm was the one that got me stuck here. I highly recommend this book, and it leaves me speechless how it isn't more popular! So The Prince’s Psalm is a queer and romantic retelling of the story of David and Jonathan from the Bible. The book begins with David's childhood, providing perspectives on his early life and relationships, especially with Micah and David’s family. Micah and David had a deep friendship that grew into young love and they became each other's firsts. A core theme that comes up regularly in this novel is about being treated and viewed as equal in a healthy relationship. Micah held a weird place in my heart. I enjoyed “not liking” him. I could immediately see his immaturity in his relationship with David. Of course, I understand they were both young  and immature, yet this was important to emphasize the message, which I believe it’s about being equal in a relationship. Micah loved David, but he saw him somewhat beneath him due to David not fitting the stereotypical masculine man image. And every time they "play" with each other Micah calls David "My Slave" despite David's irritated and uncomfortable of it. So the moment when Jonathan is introduced, the first thing he calls David is "My Prince" and do everything that David wishes Micah would do for him but wouldn't. If we are going to compare Jonathan and Micah, it's pretty obvious which one are the right choice. But who cares about Micah, we are talking about Jonathan and David now! So the plot follows Jonathan summons David, hoping on his musical talents to aid King Saul's from being tormented by “evil spirits”. David's initial experiences within the palace only reinforce his sense of inadequacy in the eyes of those he admires and cares for. He plays tirelessly, day and night, in an effort to soothe the king's troubles, ultimately healing King Saul's fears of God’s abandonment. From that moment forward, Jonathan can no longer resist David's charms, leading the two to become inseparable. As they spend a winter together, their bond deepens, uniting their bodies and souls. The novel doesn't delve into explicit sexual scenes, instead, it focuses on the emotional connection between the two characters. Nevertheless, they do have quite a lot of intense passionate sessions, it just written with a flowery language. So their oath, the exchanged rings, the beautiful yet sad promises, is heart moving. Every moment felt perfect and captivating! Jonathan's death left me shattered. I cried a lot. And cried even more when the book included the whole Lament. After devouring all 480 pages, I found myself wanting the story to continue. Eric Shaw Quinn made a wonderful job in reimagining the familiar narrative yet adding new in depth layers to it. I wholeheartedly love this novel! So is it gay? Yes.

THE END!

Finally, I have finished everything. There was more, but there is no way in hell I will continue.

What did I learn from this experience?

Nothing really, except that the people whose arguments claim that David and Jonathan's relationship isn't romantic at all, yet in the same breath, they can replace Jonathan with Michal, and suddenly it is romantic. I learned that their arguments are worthless at the core.

But despite with the pain and cringing, I loved nerd out about my favorite David and Jonathan adaptations! And I think I did this just because of that.

[tiredly101]

A picture not ment to be seen

Pairing: Wally Darling x Writer!Male reader

New Neighbor Masterlist

Summary: Home had blocked Wally's memories of you, Home honestly loved you but it was to painful to remember you and so Home made a pact with Wally's friend. No one was to say your name or show your pictures to Wally.

Illustrated Au, angsty fic time peeps! This is technically put on the future of New Neighbor! Picture done by @frog-cultist

Wally has always been a loved character by all of his neighbors and even by his sentient Home but he couldn't help feeling dread everytime he had to hang out.

It always felt like if they were hiding something from him and be didn't like that feeling, he loathed it; everytime he went to the bugdega Howdy will snap a picture frame against the table so he couldn't see it, everytime he visited Julie she would make him wait while she "tidied up", Sally would just not allow him in her house unless he called a day or two to warn her, Barnaby will distract him while Poppy ran around her house in a panicked way and Poppy would return the favor with Barnaby in the exact way, Frank and Eddie would quiet down everytime he was near and even Home would lock him outside while some banging could be heard inside the house as if it was hiding something.

Wally decided there was only one thing he could do and that was break into the bugdega which he normally did to eat free apples to Howdy's dismay and see what that picture frame hid. And with a determined mind his mission started with a picklock in the middle of the night until he managed to open the door.

Wally walked around the shop making sure to not make noise while he used his flashlight to illuminate his path and finally he arrived to the front of the store where the picture frame was still slammed on the table from earlier, they were little shard's of glass since Howdy used to much strength and his eyes widened. It was a picture where a beautiful guy was smiling happily showing the little gap he had in one of his teeth and he was holding Wally, they were both blushing. In the top it was written by Sally the words "New Neighbor" and in the bottom the picture had written in Howdy's handwriting the words which made Wally breathless.

"Wally Darling met his future boyfriend M/n Cherry!"

Part two is on the making but let me know if you wanna be tagged

Tag list from New Neighbor because this is season two:

@farleyis @whynot5243 @fluffyart5000 @blueberricowboi @bonesbonesbonesuponbones @who-let-me-write-this @pr5is1ng @just-random-post @smiling-carcass @nettaw @sleepyscxry @theorchardcollective @thelostboys11 @darling-w @ametistacollinsworld @vampyrefay @cloudeecheer @lacunaanonymoused @waywardstardustcollector @welcome-home-puppets @redjeanjacket @fried-lotud @waywardstardustcollector @frindtheshapeshifter405 @lotusflowerexe @sleepyscxry @the-gayest-toad @mythjustiice @backyard-bear @beu-is-here0 @just-random-post @fic-fortress @elegantkidfansoul @eyesarefun @one-green-frog @beu-is-here0 @waywardstardustcollector @24-7lazy @azyimnothere @fluffyart5000 @chesterthejester12-blog

[serial-designation-dz]

Alright, after EXTENSIVE research (tumblr and its gremlins), here is what I’ve determined about Nuzi.

- episode 3 was an awakening point for many (including me).

- the ship is so cute, and so powerful, that even if someone shipped someone else in the beginning, they often find themselves shipping nuzi at some point. (That’s not to say you can’t ship another couple, I personally find all non-proship ships adorable).

- they are the 2ND gayest m/f ship in existence. (As pointed out by @1-800-hellyeah)

- cabin fever got rid of a lot of doubts and is considered to be the “turning point” of their relationship. Episode 3 was them coming up on the turn. Episode 4 was them making it.

- they are capable of wielding any headcannon imaginable.

- they compliment each other really really well. So much to the point where they’re miserable without each other.

- holy shit they’re gay as hell.

[theabigailthorn]

The video of you and Eva arm wrestling has motivated me to start working out after being a couch potato for years so thanks 👍 I’m working towards the goal of feeling a bit better and possibly throwing my girlfriend around in the gayest possible way

It motivated me too haha, I'm determined to go another round with her sometime!

[sole-fitheach]

Hey dislyte community vote

[veliseraptor]

Psst top Wheel of Time ships and characters? (Also can I ask for any of your thoughts on Nynaeve?)

I should do a whole separate post on Nynaeve honestly but suffice it to say for this one that I love her very very much, didn't appreciate her nearly enough on my first read but appreciate her more every reread since.

since I love lists, here's a couple lists for you

CHARACTERS

Rand al'Thor. I don't usually latch onto protagonists but when I do they're depressed and a mess! And that's Rand for you. I really appreciate the way that Jordan plays with the Chosen One archetype specifically by looking at the damage it does/can do to a person, and the way that Rand is gradually wrecked by the weight of prophecy and expectation such that the only way to escape it, in the end, is to become not himself. Whatever my feelings about his ending (not entirely positive), I think there's a very painful and poignant statement in there.

Ishamael/Moridin/Elan Morin Tedronai. Who doesn't love a fatalistic villain longing for oblivion and believing that serving evil is the only way to get it! I'm sure that's universal. I wrote sort of a character study of him and I think personally it is one of my underappreciated fics. Couldn't say why, I don't know how this isn't a subject that everyone is clamoring to read.

Min Farshaw. My beloved since the first time I read the series and I don't think it's just because she had short hair like me, though that's probably part of it. I think I just enjoy the way she thinks, her narration, the way she's simultaneously deeply caring and a little bit snarky, the way that she interacts with fate and inevitability. I don't know, I struggle to articulate it. I just know that I loved her first as a character and I still love her.

Tuon (Fortuona) Athaem Kore Paendrag. My problematic fave (other than, I guess, the aforementioned nihilistic actual antagonist). I just...she's fascinating. She's a cipher. She's the embodiment of an evil empire and absolutely going to oversee its downfall. She craves absolute control and copes poorly with not having it. Her dynamic with Mat is my favorite relationship in the series. What a gal.

Nynaeve al'Vere. In contrast to Min, I didn't appreciate Nynaeve enough on early reads (I didn't dislike her, I just didn't appreciate her enough), but that's thoroughly changed and at this point I do think she's one of my favorite characters. She's so contradictory and an unreliable narrator but in a very particular way that I feel like I don't run into very often. She's so much fun to read about, and also trying so hard to prove herself, and so determined to help people (even when they maybe don't want to be helped). She's a healer first and foremost and never loses sight of that, or of her resolve to protect her people. What a gal. But in a very different way than the above.

HONORABLE MENTIONS: Mat Cauthon and Aviendha.

SHIPS

Mat/Tuon. I said their dynamic was my favorite in the series and I meant it. They have such a good courtship, the way they dance around each other and play off each other and play their relationship like a game of strategy is so much fun for me.

Rand/Min. If Min was my first favorite character then Rand/Min was my first OTP (and incidentally the first pairing I wrote porn for!). I think my favorite thing about them is the way that they're friends, or feel like it, in a way that Rand doesn't always feel like friends with the other ladies. Sometimes I appreciate that in a pairing. They just seem like they enjoy each other's company even outside of the romantic aspect, and I love that for them.

Aviendha/Elayne. Welcome to the gayest ostensibly sister relationship in the whole series!!!! No honestly though on reread I was like "how is this not explicitly a thing, I mean, I know why, but Jordan you've established some people are gay in this universe and you have Aviendha lovingly describing Elayne's naked body and, again, the gayest sister-making ceremony I've read, and tell me that they're not totally and completely, romantically and sexually, in love? Fie, I say. Lies and foolishness. They're in love and they're so valid for it.

Nynaeve & Rand. Sneaking an & ship on here! Especially as the series goes on, their relationship is soooo important to me. There's a short list of people who care about Rand-as-Rand with no ulterior motives beyond that, and Nynaeve is near the top of that list. And I love, too, that their dynamic isn't romantic in the least.

Tuon/Egwene. @highladyluck pretty much single-handedly sold me on this one and I'm so glad she did. Absolutely brilliant and galaxy brained. Egwene should've lived just so she and Tuon could have a hideously complicated enemyship. The missed opportunities.

BONUS: Rand/Min/Morshamael Tedronai.

[mymagicgrandpa]

Chapter 18: Nightmare Inferno - Page 10

Chapter Synopsis: A student at Suzie's school seems to be losing sleep from a supernatural force! Suzie is determined to help, but first she has to figure out what's causing him issues.

Author Comment: The geometry teacher is based on a real teacher I had who dressed like a fabulous flamboyant cowboy and had poodles and sponge bob all over his classroom, and students often referred to him as "the gayest straight man we'd ever known". He made math really fun.

My Magic Grandpa is a paranormal fantasy adventure that takes place in the 90s, please check it out and spread the word if you like it

Want to have a more phone friendly viewing of the comic? Check out mymagicgrandpa.net or look for My Magic Grandpa on Tapas or Webtoons!