#wordcount stats

[simlit]

Chosen of the Sun | | dawn // thirty

| @izayoichan | @maladi777

ABILITY CHECK | CHARISMA Aster is assigned a base stat of 10 charisma, with a bonus of 5. Question #1 requires a roll of at least 15. Question #2 requires a roll of at least 16. Question #3 requires a roll of at least 18.  Question #4 requires a roll of at least 18.  Question #5 requires a roll of at least 20. 

next / previous / beginning

LUCIEN: Then… someone died? ELDEWYN: Indeed, someone did. And none of the remaining nine claimed responsibility. Made things quite interesting for spectators. There was some rumors that perhaps even the Chosen of the Sun might have been the killer. INDRYR: Surely the goddess of the moon would not select a murderer as her chosen. ELDEWYN: Ah, but it is sometimes the case. After all, back then, anything was acceptable. Even had they admitted their deed, they would not have been punished. LUCIEN: How awful… INDRYR: And who was the victim? ELDEWYN: Mm, the last to lose their life in the moon trials… What was it… ah yes… Castien, was his name. Castien Thallan. KYRIE: Who was he? ELDEWYN: A rabblerouser from the south. He used to get into all sorts of trouble. I remember before he was chosen, he and his little gang would stir up the city, made people restless. The guard was always after him for one thing or another, but never could hold him long. Imagine our shock when it was announced he'd been picked. After that, he was untouchable of course. Ironic, you ask me. KYRIE: He was just a delinquent, then? ELDEWYN: Yes, you could say so. A thorn in the capital’s side, really. But clearly honorable enough for the Moon to choose him. ASTER: A toast! To a veritable troublemaker! I can certainly relate. After all, they only had to drag me out of jail right to the steps of the church! ELDEWYN: Ha! That’s right! I’ll say, there was quite the gossip about it in town! INDRYR: Whatever were you arrested for, anyways? ASTER: Oh, you know, a little scuffle… bit of a bar brawl if I’m honest. I’m not much of a fighter, but tell that to my tongue! INDRYR: How curious that no one ever admitted to the deed. Are they certain he didn’t die to the elements? ELDEWYN: To be frank, there was a great deal of speculation about it, but seeing as how no one but then Ten were inside, there’s really no way of knowing. Afterwards, he was given over to the King’s clerics and prepared for burial. We honor the fallen, of course. They’re still Chosen, even in death. But he had no kin to speak of, and no one after came to claim him that wasn’t one of his fellow troublemakers. KYRIE: Whatever happened to them? ELDEWYN: I’m certain I don’t know. Went on their way, or grew up, I suppose! INDRYR: Perhaps there was someone else in the labyrinth? ELDEWYN: Hm? What do you mean by that? INDRYR: You said there were many dangers within the maze, it could be that he encountered someone there. Someone not Chosen? ELDEWYN: The labyrinth is located on the outskirts of the city. During the trial the entrances are heavily guarded, and very few people know the way through. Even if someone could get passed the blockades, they’d be utterly lost! INDRYR: Then, it doesn’t seem particularly efficient that anyone would plan to use the trial as a cover for murder. Unless… LUCIEN: Why would anyone think to do that? ASTER: Quite conspiratorial there, Indryr! And who doesn’t love a good conspiracy theory? Mm? I’m sure there’s a secret dragon under the castle waiting to make snacks of us all. More wine, my lord? ELDEWYN: Of course, of course! KYRIE: Surely you don’t think there was outside involvement? INDRYR: I’m only speculating. KYRIE: I’m certain there’s no evidence of that. Isn’t that right, my lord? ELDEWYN: Well, you know, he’s not the first to say so. There were rumors at the time that perhaps Castien’s involvement in the trials had been predetermined. KYRIE: Predetermined? ELDEWYN: They said he was selected deliberately. At request of… It’s all hearsay, anyways. LUCIEN: But the Chosen are selected by divine right! Lunar Priests get their orders directly from the goddess of the moon! Right, Your Grace? KYRIE: Uh— ELDEWYN: Of course, Your Highness. It is silly gossip, nothing more. Some people believed the presiding priest was espousing false information. But the trials were successful as every year before. There’s no reason to think he was lying about Castien being one of the true Chosen Ten. But people will get all sorts of ideas if given even a shred of mystery.

[altschmerzes]

i feel like i should do something to celebrate when i hit 500 user subscriptions on ao3 but first i have to like, process that i'm nearly at that number-

[pocketramblr]

what do you mean i wrote 90k more words this year than last

[daughterofhecata]

Something something "the first million words are practice"? (Though I'm pretty sure I've reached *that* milestone years ago considering the amount of notebooks I filled as a kid/teen.)

[oakandgumtrees]

Okay, but how many WORDS of fic are there? A proposed method for estimating total word count for a set of fics on Ao3

Some statistics are really easy to find on Ao3. Some are harder.

The word count of an individual work? Easy. The word count of a group of works? You have to add it up manually.

Or do you?

(Note: All statistics in this post are from data gathered on the 28th-29th July, 2023, and will be out of date in the specifics. My focus is on trends.)

If we only had an average

If we knew what the AVERAGE (or mean) word count for a group of works was , we could simply multiply by the number of works, and we'd have the total!

But we don't have the average.

We do, however, have the ability to sort a group of fics by word count, do some arithmetic to figure out what the middle item in that list is, and check that individual fic. (E.g. in a list of five fics, what is the word count of the third-longest work?)

This is the median - surely that's going to be close to the average, right?

Unfortunately, no.

Wordcount Georg is an outlier adn is difficult to count

You know that one MASSIVE fic? The one that's, like, half a million words, and a hundred chapters, and it's still going?

You thought of one straight away, didn't you?

Well, it turns out a LOT of fandoms have that fic. Or several of them.

But they're usually very few compared to a much LARGER number of very short works. Take the MCU fandom. When I checked, only 1% of MCU fics were over 100,000 words - and 25% were under 1000 words.

The median is usually close to the average when the distribution of a set of numbers looks like this:

But the distribution of the length of fics in most fandoms looks more like this:

In that sort of distribution, the median and the mean can be a LONG way apart.

A median can still tell you a lot about the most common kinds of fic. But it's going to completely miss all those super-long outliers, and if you want to find the TOTAL word count, you need those.

Counting things the cheating-cheater way

I would like to propose a method I've been calling 'multiple median estimation'.

Here's how it works:

Sort your fics by word count, then divide the list into chunks. Ten percent of the total number is often a good size.

Find the fic in the middle of each chunk to get the median word count for THAT set of fics.

When a chunk has a median SUBSTANTIALLY bigger than the previous chunk, break it up into smaller pieces, and repeat.

Once you have all your medians, multiply each one by the number of fics in that chunk, and add together to get your estimated total.

Let's see how that pans out across a few different fandoms...in part 2!

[hcguesstheauthormessageboard]

hcgta stats (but dark-mode friendly)

sorry folks!!!! i forgot that transparency does Not Work with dark mode.

images under the cut, but they're essentially just the information i already provided yesterday, but just in a visual format.

(traffic series is 14 with a percentage of 13.2%)

(neat stairs!!)

(looks like we've got a non hermit on the top ten!)

(ao3 colors <3)

@hermitcraftguesstheauthorevent

[lilolilyr]

Reader Wordcount Tag

Through the year 2024: February & March

January

In February I read 3.302.973 words in fanfic

In March I apparently read 9.591.750 words?! Half convinced there has to be a mistake bc that's almost as much as I estimated for 2023 in total!

Might have missed some fics that I clicked but didn't read nor bookmarked (I get my calculations by going through my Ao3 history + 'external source' bookmarks - 'to read' bookmarks - 'to continue reading' bookmarks - 'don't read didn't like' bookmarks)

But... To be fair I already got about a million from external works (so mostly ffnet stuff) alone this month, and I Definitely was on Ao3 much more than that so uuuhhhhhhhhhh it might not br Far off the mark o.o

March calculations:

History: 70458+29456+685+9666+25198+1223+131086+553338+14390+68425+1100+25069+15186+69130+890+1739+104831+8810+67746+38+13607+8861+10148+47681+9228+13015+1651+1604+1638+37523+4660+36717+14468+5824+2800+5829+22318+32182+25492+701+5068+22837+16518+14733+11962+7523+2815+32015+10745+14594+138205+206306+38487+13944+1029+169282+239712+1457715+270504+6685+74840+185965+311272+48173+214721+60437+6283+54655+32999+16496+107464+23323+31167+419905+24909+639905+108645+327419+584567+152070+191827+135566+72719+1422+2457+40002+1741+1996+3460+2718+3606+105250+66016+2157+216+5728+1668+11957+3367+20767+23796+23235+88715+16538+14403+7435+1024+1237+7091+217+1181+214+71633+34358+2987+7437+3147+42956+92911+1243+774+815+1054+15184+604+891+932+1013+370+872+407+719+857+576+666+237+857+85819+83552+738+26906+1277+1367+6112+128376+85937+3589+13727+31571+85381+94646+41984+498775+19408+1593+232160+286283+613877+5488+1165+84659+23273+10508+2289+1916+9262+57168+68888+3450+15162+39298+4132+386+2341+1868+21245+30056+12216+26885+65840+57392+5719+8819+1416+3434+3490+4680+13819+3333+2988+15101+18178+242407+177701+57529+5047+5365+3604+77395+3092+5685+5898+25+70572+88794+111312+966+259773+28071+4141525

XD I forgot to copy the other additions but it was + 822000 from external works and then - several million that I hadn't (yet) (completely) read

Lots of longfics! I've been binging twilight sioc again (yeah lmao I know), to my shame also HP, and I've been reading a lot of femslash: pretty sure I'm up to date with the Ava/Deborah tag, also read everything in Gunpowder Milkshake that I even remotely care about (not much on offer there so i lowered my standards a lot and even read weird crossovers), Berena my beloved, some old and some new Warehouse 13 fanfics and some in TOG fandom. Oh and some some random leverage and white collar fics!

Like this or lmk if you want to get tagged in future updates bc I'm only tagging everyone once in these otherwise xD and feel free to tag me if you count your own stats! @viharistenno @lavendelhummel @imaginemyhappyplace @observethewalrus @lesbianlotties @toboldlynerd @thearchdemongreatlydisapproves

@asstraightasau-turn @bobeau-beaubo @birdofdawning @batnbreakfast

[wykart]

I've uploaded the first 2 chapters of the updated version of Against the Lightning here:

Decided to leave the old version up as it is. For an idea of how I managed to cut like 60k words out of the original 18 chapters, the first 2 chapters here cover chapters 1-5 of the old fic ://

[mondscheinprinzessin]

my 2022 fics

1. for Febuwhump:

Lights Out [Olli/Aleksi, Yoga accident]

Better Luck Next Life [Joel/Aleksi, Vampire, MCD]

I will stay awake [Joel/Aleksi/Joonas, Nightmares and comfort]

I thought I was bulletproof [Joonas, Vampire, Kidnapping]

The fall is not the end [Joonas & Joel/Niko, Vampire, Rescue]

You think you’re God or just a devil of sorts [Olli/OMC, Sexual assault]

I’ve been going anywhere but home [ATLA AU]

2. inspried by asks/prompts:

Kiss me till I turn into nothing [Olli/Joonas, Unrequited love]

Idiots in Love prompts [multiple pairings]

Don’t matter if you’re bi it will get you anyway [Aleksi & everyone, Coming out]

Never thought this day would come [Tommi/Joel, Angst and feelings]

Kiss me (better), doctor [Joonas/Aleksi, Fluff and Humour]

Prompt Adventures [multiple pairings]

Prompt Adventures 2 [multiple pairings]

Life couldn’t get much sweeter [Olli/Joonas, Fluff, Proposal]

Perspective Flip [multiple pairings]

3. Series: first aid kit: bandages, support, friends

Should I sink or swim or simply disappear? [Aleksi & everyone, Mental health]

4. Series: Aleksi’s closet full of surprises

Find me on my knees [Joonas/Aleksi, Party hookup, Dresses]

The feeling of your skin locked in my head [Joonas/Aleksi, Aleksi in lingerie]

5. Series: Sun, moon, stars - Soulmate AU [Joel/Aleksi/Joonas]

Paint me the sun, the moon, and the stars [Getting together, Angst and comfort]

It’s crazy how far you’ve come, all you’ve done [Heartfelt talks]

That cake would look good on your face [Birthday shenanigans]

Want to have some fun with me? [Sexual exploring]

Soulmate shorts [Slice of Life]

We will fight to shine together [difficult relationships, Feelings]

(Try to hold you) With my arms around your heart [Joel/Joonas, Feelings and Comfort]

6. Inspired by Dak Side the Mafia AU (Snake_Simulacra)

I’m caught beneath with nothing left to give [Joel/Aleksi, Hurt, Falling in Love]

Take a breath and softly say goodbye [Joel/Aleksi,Torture]

7. Single fics:

Cupid is Stupid (or not?) [Joel/Aleksi, First Date]

Joel starring in the role as internet detective [Joel & Joonas & Aleksi, Humour]

Many say they ain’t never gonna make it [Joel/Olli, Baby Channel]

Temporary Fix [Joel/Aleksi, Smut with feelings]

The four times Aleksi comes out [Aleksi & everyone, Coming out]

Follow the trail of my kisses (and find my heart) [Joel/Joonas, Friends to Lovers]

The pink on your cheeks and your moans are all I want [Olli/Joonas, Genderbent]

When you put your lips and your hands on my heart [Joel/Aleksi, Falling in love]

How to build a sex room [Joel/Aleksi, Niko/Joonas, Designer AU, Wholesome kink discussion]

Left in the darkness here on your own [Joel/Joonas/(Aleksi), Werewolfs]

Erst ein Summen, dann ein Chor, dann ein Schreien in Harmonie [Niko/Joonas, Friends to Lovers]

There is just one thing I need [Joel/Aleksi, Getting Together, Christmas]

Marked all fluffy fics pink, and all angsty and hurt/comfort fics blue, so you find them better.

[chronicowboy]

i'm slowly realising that i have no actual concept of word count because i was certain the no rizz kink fic was 6k max and then it turned out to be ten and i just wrote a little thing assuming it was like 2k, 3k max and it's almost 4k like.

[the-heaminator]

NONE OF THIS IS LEGAL OH DEAR

[thelonelyshore-if]

DEMO

Update Wordcount: 22,542 Total Wordcount: 136,838

Hey so um. I decided to drop an update. Because I'm impatient and the transition & library scenes are finished. I decided since this part is complete, why not share it instead of making people wait until I finish the rest of the chapter? Progress is speeding along, but I keep adding more and it'll need to be edited. Here's a mini update for now <3

In this update you can:

Leave the diner!

Make small talk!

Go to the library!

Meet Yasmin!

Do a ton of research! Or don't! It's totally up to you c:

My idea with the library was you can engage with it as much or as little as you'd like. A good amount of lore and story tidbits are tucked away in the different options, but you certainly don't have to read everything if you don't want to! Plus, you get to meet and interact with Yasmin, and have a few chances to get to know Perri better <3

Deepest apologies, but the update will almost certainly break saves, since I changed the personality stats and added variables. Still, I hope anyone who plays has a great time, and it won't be long now until I share the rest of the chapter!

As always, my askbox is open for feedback, as well is the post on the forums. I hope you enjoy~

[finelinefae]

Bestie I literally just read flower and I’m OBSESSED and I can imagine y/n trying to turn tattooh into a swiftie whilst he tries to explain the rap beef to y/n 😭

no bc this was such a good and unique idea i had to write a little something for it !!

wordcount: 1.3k

. . .

“Okay, so what was it again?” Y/N asked, a dip between her brows as she fastened the bow on a bouquet of flowers she was completing for a baby shower they had been invited to next weekend. 

“So Kendrick-”

“The guy who featured on Bad Blood?” Y/N double-checked. 

Harry chuckles, “I mean he’s also a Pulitzer Prize winner but that too.” She nods, waiting for him to continue, “So he featured on a song with a bunch of other artists basically taking aim at J Cole and Drake-”

“Oh I know him, he posted a picture of him and Taylor on his Instagram that one time two years ago,” Y/N says. 

Harry nods, desperate to finish explaining to her the current online events he had been obsessively keeping track of over the past twenty-four hours, “Right, right. So anyway,” Harry continued to explain the ongoing tension in the world of rap circling the internet with Y/N nodding a long, nothing but confusion on her face. 

Amongst many things, Y/N and Harry’s music tastes were polar opposites. Whilst Y/N loved pop - Taylor Swift, Chappell Roan, Olivia Rodrigo - Harry tended to lean more towards alternate music, genres like rap and grunge or anything before the 2000’s. He loved rock bands like Nirvana and Pearl Jam. On their first New Year’s Eve together, they’d spent the entire night at a karaoke bar in the city, four Shania Twain sons deep by the time the clock hit midnight. 

Although they were at opposite ends of the spectrum when it came to their music tastes, they loved talking to each other about what they were listening to. They would share their weekly Spotify stats over dinner at the end of each week and make playlists for each other to listen to whenever they were taking the train somewhere. 

As Harry finished explaining, Y/N picked up the bouquet and carried it over to where he was sitting, placing it on the table in front of him. 

Even as he was speaking, Harry automatically reached out to slide an arm around her waist beneath her fuzzy, pink cardigan rubbing circles with his thumb over the exposed bit of skin on her hip. 

“That sounds… really complicated, H.” Y/N sighed, “I’d hate to get into an argument like that.”

Harry smiled at how adorable she looked with pouty lips and concern on her face, “Lucky for you flower, y’ much too difficult to get into any kind of argument with.” 

Harry and Y/N rarely had major arguments. Typically, their disagreements were over minor or unimportant matters, often ending with Harry showering her with kisses as an apology or Y/N clinging to him until he forgave her.

“And he wants Drake to die?” Y/N gasps, “That’s awful.”

Harry nods, watching her hands carefully move around the flowers in the bouquet to get them in the perfect place. “Hmm, ‘s not the nicest thing to say to a person,”

Y/N sighed, sitting on his thigh when her legs got too tired from standing. His lips puckered against the base of her exposed neck from where she had tied her curls up with a scrunchie. He inhaled the floral perfume he had bought her for Valentine’s Day. She was obsessed with it, dousing herself in it every morning and before she went to bed.

“Have you listened to Taylor’s new album by the way?” Y/N wondered, turning to hook her leg over his other thigh so she was straddling him. She was pressed between him and the worktop, her arms moving around his neck and fingers fiddling with the curly baby hairs by his neck. 

Harry winced, “Ummm…”

“Harry,” Y/N huffed, “You said you would listen to it so I could talk you through it track by track.” 

“I know! I’m getting to it, y’know I’ve jus’ been busy this week.” Harry stated, which was true. It had been the school holidays and a lot more customers had visited both their shops than usual. 

“The album came out weeks ago,” Y/N said, pushing herself off of him to start putting everything away for tomorrow. 

Before she could take one step, Harry grabbed her wrist and pulled her into him, “I will, baby - promise, I’ll get to it and then y’ can talk for as long as y’ want all about it. Y’ can even put your pj’s on and show me y’ little dance y’ used to do when I heard y’ havin’ y’ little solo parties before we met,” He smirked against her neck. 

Y/N blushed, clearing her throat and moving away. Her eyes narrowed, “You better.” She walked back to the front desk, “And they weren’t solo parties! Marsh was there too,” She said, referring to her little cat. 

. . .

During her lunch break, Y/N reached for her bag to eat the pasta salad Harry had prepared for her that morning before they left for work. When she unzipped the bag, she found his Star Wars lunchbox inside instead of her own.

She slid off her seat and walked straight to his tattoo shop next door, knowing he had probably mixed up their lunches and ended up with her Cinnamoroll one.

She pushed the door open, expecting to hear the strums of an electric guitar or the low grovel of an indie rock band playing over the Bluetooth speakers. But instead, she was shocked to hear the voice of her favourite singer. 

Her heart soared even before she saw him as she walked past the front desk. "Hey Mike, what's with the music?" She asked as if she didn’t know already.

“Harry insisted he put it on this morning. You have to go in there and tell him it’s killing the vibe.” Mike grumbled, taking a puff of the vape in his hand. 

Y/N smiled, “I quite like it.”

“Of course you do,” He rolled his eyes. 

Y/N walked through to the back rooms where she heard the steady sounds of a tattoo gun. Her eyes found Harry, deeply focused on the design he was tattooing on someone’s wrist. 

Y/N stood to one side and waited patiently, “Okay that’s all done,” Harry clicked his tongue, pushing his chair away and wrapping up the tattoo for the customer. 

After the customer had left, she stepped into the room, “Hi Harry,” She beamed, floating over to him. He looked so cute and cuddly today, wearing a grey sweatshirt and black trousers with his usual Doc Martens and a navy-coloured beanie to cover his curls. 

A smile carved onto Harry’s face, “Hi flower,” He removed his gloves and met her halfway, pulling her into a hug and kissing her softly. 

“Missed you,” She murmured against his lips. 

“Miss you always, flower.” He brushed a loose curl behind her ear, “Thought I wasn’t meeting y’ ‘til later?”

“Oh,” She pulled out the lunchbox and handed it to him, “I think we got our lunches mixed up,” 

Harry furrowed his brows, grabbing the plastic bag with his lunch inside only to find her pink lunchbox instead. He chuckles, “Ah, must have been the early morning getting to me.”

“S okay,” Y/N grins, “I like your music choice by the way.”

Harry smirked, “Promised a girl something,”

“Oh really?” Y/N’s grin deepened, “Well I’m sure she’ll be very happy you kept your promise.”

“I’ve been thinking about her all morning, getting to hear her talk non-stop later about her favourite songs.” He says, her arms sliding up his torso to meet at the back of his back. 

She stood on her toes, his head dropping and their noses brushing together, “All morning?” 

“All the time,” He breathes, “Can’t seem to stop thinking about her since I met her.”

“Hmm, well she’s a very lucky girl.” Y/N murmurs.

His lips met hers, the low light above shining down on them as the Tortured Poets Department came to an end and ‘Lover’ played on shuffle over the speakers of his tattoo parlour. 

[hermionewrites]

Unimportant

summary: after an attack on her life, her boss finally lets up warnings: general CM violence, gun violence, knife violence a/n: hope you enjoy. do you want a part 2? wordcount: 3.3k

“C'mon Baby girl, get me an address.” Derek encouraged down the phone as the team stood around the table as Penelope typed frantically on the other line. They had found the man targeting influential women execution-style in the back of their heads at seemingly random points during the day, walking away and leaving them DOA.                                               “Our creep lives at 56 Hobson Drive, a mile from here.” She spouts quickly and everyone rushes to grab their guns and put on their vests.                                                                   “Have the paperwork ready for when we get back to the station,” Hotch says, the instructions directed at you with a curt nod as he slides the dark blue vest on with white block text in the centre of the chest.                                                                                                                 “Yes sir.” You say quickly with a nod, as he jets off, going to join the rest of the team and jumping into the large SUV and speeding off with the rest of the team to go and apprehend the Unsub and bring him in for questioning.

In the meantime, while they were gone, you made a call to Quantico’s finest tech girl.                                   “What do you need my love?” She greets as she picks up the line.         “Could you print out the interrogation forms for me, please?” You ask her in a sweet voice and can’t contain your smile.                                      “Of course, I can and what printer would that be delivered to?” She asks.                                              “The name is Georgia Atlanta PP3, if you could send them stat, that would be great.” Making your way to the printer the papers began to be spat out from the printer.

 “Thank you Pen, I’ll update you later,” ending the call with a small beep, you take the papers to the conference room, leaving them on the large round table then taking a quick detour to the bathroom. It wasn’t as up-to-date as the bureau's facilities but wasn't the worst thing she’d seen. The tiles were yellowing and some of the caulking was peeling off around the sinks. One stall was already occupied out of the two.

The singular sink tap was taking forever to warm up, the hot tap seemingly not working. Constantly you swipe your hand under the running water, the cold temperature causing goosebumps all over your upper body. The lock clicks from the stall behind you as you look at the pipe below the sink. One of them had been cut.                              “Hey.” You ask without looking up from the sink. “Do you know what's wrong with the hot tap?”                                                                                                                                                                          “No.” A deep voice says from behind you and your eyes snap up to the mirror.

You knew that face. That man's face was currently printed out and pinned to a corkboard. The team was presently kicking down his door and storming his apartment. And he currently had a gun at your head.                                                                                                  “You’re-” You start to say and close your eyes as he presses the gun harder into the back of your head.                                                                  “Yes.” He said simply. “And I have a G34 to the back of your head.” He said menacingly into your ear as his body shoved yours against the sink.                                                                  “Good for you.” You grit out and clench your jaw and he clocks the gun, a small click ricochets around the bathroom.                                     “Watch your mouth.” He snarls. “Or I’ll shoot you.”

Your mind darts back to the profile the team had delivered earlier. What the team had told the local police to look out for.                            “He’s methodical and organised.” Derek started. “Which means he is choosing who he kills, not just killing them at random.”                            “He thinks he is doing the world a favour by ridding of these powerful women, he's a violent misogynist who thinks that women shouldn't be in the positions they work in.” Hotch continues. “Shooting them in the back of the head execution style shows that he wants them dead, with no chance of survival.                                                                              Spencer picks it up from there. “He’ll want approval of what he has done so when we do find him, don’t insult him, boost his ego. If he feels pressured he will do down shooting or commit suicide by cop.”    “We're looking for a white male, around 30 to 40 years of age and possibly has a record of domestic abuse or general violence against women.” Emily finishes. “So spread this around to whoever you can as we believe he will kill again soon.”

“Why shoot me?” You ask and make eye contact in the mirror. “I’m not in a high-profile job.” Your voice shakes slightly.                                 “You’re with the FBI, in prison they’ll love me if I kill a fed.” He snarls quietly into your ear.                           “I’m not a fed. I’m a PA.” You tell him. “I make coffee and grab files, no one knows who I am. You want to waste your last kill on someone so unimportant?” You continue and you see his confidence start to waver. “And then you get killed by the cops. Who remembers someone like that.” His eyes flash with anger.                                            “I am a God. God’s do not die.”                                                                       “You know, 'cause of all of the remarkable work you've done so far.” You correct, remembering what Spencer had said earlier about praising the man. 

“My remarkable work?” He says, his hand on the glock shakes slightly. It was working.                                       “Yeah, you killed all those women and still didn’t get caught. You’re currently in a police station bathroom and none of them noticed you come in.” You compliment with a small smile hoping to get him to pull the gun away from your head. “No one would notice if you killed me. And I won’t tell anyone I saw you.” You convince him. “They will let you walk right out of here and you can just carry on.” His eyes snap away from yours and down to the bathroom floor and darting around the lines on the tiles below, the cool metal still pushed into the back of your skull and he begins to lower the barrel slightly, now pointing at the small of your back. 

Shuffling your feet, you spin around, face to face with a killer. You don’t look him in the face and keep your eyes centred on the top of his chest and neck. He was wearing a maintenance uniform in an ugly beige that insulted your eyes, like a wall painted white that had been yellowed by cigarettes. So that’s how he got in, the broken tap. His nails were crusty, the skin around them pulling away. He held the gun at his side, pointing it at the ground. You felt like a profiler as you looked the man up and down, a phoney one at that. With no idea of what you are looking for, trying to even out your voice.                          “C’mon,” You start. “Let's walk out of here.” Hands trembling you walk towards the bathroom door with him. His hand was still firmly wrapped around the gun. So hard, so hard that his hands had begun to shake too. 

He was nervous to walk out into a room full of police officers who carried guns. There was also a chance he was ready to commit suicide by cop and go out there shooting. However, there was a feeling you just couldn’t shake, buried deep in your gut, like bees buzzing furiously. The realisation hit you then, he wasn’t shaking out of nerves. He was shaking out of anger. He was angry at you for foiling his plan to kill an FBI agent. 

The team had talked about a fight, flight or freeze response on so many cases that you had lost count. You had always taken yourself for a flight or freeze kind of person, not one to fight back or even be confrontational. Right before the shot rang out, that grinding gut feeling that was making you feel sick told you to duck. The bullet flew right over your head and lodged itself in the wall behind the yellowing tiles, shattering over the floor. 

Before he could take the second shot at you, there was a knife in his neck. Specifically, the knife you had pulled from the holster in your boot. Quickly, you run over to him and kick the gun away from his hands and under the stall. The door is kicked open violently by Derek and he points his gun at the ground. At the man, you had just killed. The dead man, whose blood was pouring over the bathroom floor.       “He’s gone,” Derek said while crouching over the body with his fingers to the man’s neck. 

“Are you ok?” Hotch asks and gives you his arm to help you step over the body.                          “I’m fine.” You state simply, taking his hand and stepping over the man you had just killed and out of the bathroom. Once you have left the bathroom JJ rushes over with a cornered look in her eyes.               “What happened?” She says, wrapping her arms around your shoulders tightly.                         “He put a gun to my head so I threw a knife at him.” Shrugging into her hands, you give her a small smile to assure her you’re okay. “The hot tap is broken in the bathroom, you should notify the Captain so he can get a real maintenance man in.” You say as the team heads back into your borrowed conference room, JJ’s arm still wrapped around your shoulder firmly. 

“She’s taking this surprisingly well,” Derek says to Hotch as they hang behind the rest of the team. “She talked a man with a gun to her head, with no experience.”                                      “Let’s just be thankful she made it out alive,” Hotch replies in his usual dull tone, giving Derek a pointed look before the two of them head into the conference room.                                    “Wheels up in 30, it's been a long couple of days.” Hotch nods and the team heads back to the small hotel to grab their bags.

It was still insane to you that you got to fly around on a private jet to all different states for a living. Even though the circumstances were not the best, a privilege was still a privilege. However, that jet was currently sitting in an incredibly tense silence that wasn’t usual for the way back from a case. You were sat on the four-seater with Emily and Derek opposite you, JJ to your left. The blond was very obviously worried about you as she had refused to leave your side since you had taken a single footstep outside of the bathroom. The air was thick with awkwardness, it felt suffocating and you internally begged for someone to break the silence. Hotch and Rossi sat on the single-seaters. Rossi had pulled a plush and most likely very expensive eye mask over his face as he got some much-needed shut-eye. Spencer was nose-deep into some Russian book that he would most likely finish in the next twenty minutes. Hotch was already starting the case files as the unit chief he had a whole file or two extra. 

“So.” Thank the world for Derek Morgan you thought as someone finally spoke up. “Where did you learn to throw knives, pretty girl?” You had gained that nickname for being the youngest on the team, Reid above you.                                                                                         “There are lots of things you don’t know about me.” You say mysteriously. “I took a class in college.” Shrugging with a light blush covers your face.                                                             “How many secrets do you have?” Emily smirks at you.                           “Not many, but enough.” You answer vaguely again. “Pen knows all of them.”                                     “Penelope Garcia knows your secrets and has kept them a secret.” JJ turns to you in shock, her mouth wide open.                                               “She has to be a certain amount of margaritas in before I tell her anything.” A look of realisation dawns on JJ’s face. “Then she is guaranteed to not remember it.”                          “Smart.” Morgan comments and you shrug. 

The atmosphere had finally gone back to the lightheartedness you were used to and it put you at ease.                                                                “Remind me to never mess with you.” Spencer directed towards you as he made his way to the kitchenette.                                                          “Were you planning on it?”                                                                               “Nope.” He replied quickly.                                                                              “Well, then you should be fine.” You tease him and he walks down the aisle of the plane. The rest of the flight is spent as usual, some sleeping, Emily gets beaten by Spencer in cards for the hundredth time. The normality calmed you. 

_

The minute the elevator dings and the doors slide open on floor six, a bright blur of pink, yellow and blue comes rushing at you.                       “JJ told me what happened! Are you ok? Are you hurt?” Penelope’s questions rush out her mouth at a million miles a second as she hugs you as tightly as possible.                                            “Can’t breathe.” You heave out into her ear. “You’re squeezing my lungs.”                                      “I was so worried when you didn’t call me back” She leaned back and grabbed onto the top of your arms, the worry still present in her eyes. “I was a bit busy, unfortunately.” You joke, attempting to soothe her.    “I made you your favourite tea, just how you like it. Come on.” She drags you away from the rest of the team and to the kitchen and sat on the counter in your favourite mug was your favourite tea, just as she said.                                                                                                      “You are an angel, Penelope.” You lean your head on her shoulder affectionately.                               “I know.” She says, her cheeks rosy. “Now drink up!” 

Over the next hour and a half, all of the members of the team stuck their heads in to your office to say goodbye for the night, minus Hotch who was still in his own office. Well it wasn’t really an office, more like a room filled to the brim with file cabinets and loose files scattered everywhere, tall piles up from the floor of magnolia files and a tiny desk and chair. Finishing sorting the previous case files, you head up from your hobbit hole and to Hotch’s office. 

“Come in.” His deep voice says from his desk seconds after you knock. You take a step just inside the door.                                                 “Have you finished processing the new files?” He didn’t even look up as he answered.                   “Not yet.” Cold as always, his pen was still gliding across the page. You nod as if he can see.      “Do I have to sign anything?” You ask and swing your arms back and forth from the doorway.        “Why would you have to sign anything?”                                                       “I threw a knife at an unsub and killed him.” You deadpan, assuming that you would have to sign a form of some sort.                                       “It was self-defence.” He states quickly, finally looking up from his work. His sleek black pen is sat gently on the desk and he links his fingers together. “Sit.” He nods toward the chair in front of his desk. 

Your feet drag along the grey carpet, feeling as if you were being called to the principal’s office. But that principle is your boss and extremely hot. When you first started working for the team, everyone knew about your crush on Hotch. Who wouldn't? However, a couple boyfriends and flings later, you had gotten over it. More like gotten better at hiding from a group of profilers. “Are you ok?” He says, finally making eye contact with you.                   “I’m fine.” You reply as he scans your face for microexpressions.            “You don’t have to be fine.” Hotch speaks softly. “You almost died.”                                                You’d never seen that look in his eyes towards you before. It was care.                                        “Better me than Em or JJ.” You shrug. “That's why JJ didn’t leave me all night, she knew he was there for them.” You notice shock cross his features. “After years here, I’ve picked some stuff up. Including talking a man with a gun to my head down, well close enough.” You attempt a joke but you’re met with a blank stare. 

“Well done.” He says and a flush crawls its way up your skin.                “Thanks.” You mutter averting your eyes, fixing on the plate that read his name, the praise getting to you.                                       “What did you say to distract him?” Hotch asks his attention solely on you.                               “Well he wanted a fed, I told him I wasn’t one, I wouldn’t get him any rep in prison as I’m not important and then he tried to shoot me, I threw a knife at him.” You say. “That’s it simplified.”     “Why’d you throw the knife?”                                                                         “I realised he was just a man.” You watch Hotch furrow his brow, wondering what you meant. “He told me that he was a God and that Gods don’t die. But men die.” You look up at him once again. His eyes were a dark brown that matched his dark personality and cool demeanour.                                                                                                          “Yes. They do.” You knew your conversation was over as he picked up his pen and began to write again. 

Nodding awkwardly, you get up from the uncomfortable wooden chair, which was made to be that way to stop visitors from sitting too long and taking up to much of his time. You knew there was no way he missed your reaction. He was a master in micro-expressions and your expression had nothing micro about it. Embarrassment, is what you felt as you sleuthed out of his office and scurrying down to your dim, hobbit hole of an office. Quickly, you shoved all of your stuff into your bag, files that needed to be processed, spare clothes that didn’t make it into your latest go bag and your travel mug. Slinging your handbag over your shoulder, you make your way to the elevator, ready to go home for the weekend.

 The button reading -1 lit up after you press it. The silver metal doors begin to slide shut.              “Hold the doors.” Hotch’s voice carries and you stick your hand in between the doors and they slide back open as he jogs over. “Thank you.”                                                                     “No problem.” You say calmly, internally, however, you were kicking yourself for not leaving five minutes earlier. The two of you stood in silence as the elevator started to move downwards, him gripping onto his black leather briefcase. You do the same with your handbag. After what seems like hours, the doors finally open in the car park. Giving your boss a small and awkward smile, then pretty much running away from him and to your small car. 

Just as you pop open your car door you hear Hotch call out your name.                                        “Sir?” You ask, confused about why he was running toward you, his tie swinging back and forth.                                                                             “Um.” He started, Aaron Hotchner looked nervous. “You are important. To the team, I mean. We couldn't do this without you. It would have been just as devastating if you had died.” He finished. The shock was obvious on your face as you stood there with your mouth wide open.                                                                                             “Sir…” You had run out of smart things to say as you just stared at him blankly.                  

“Most of all, you are important to me.” He made direct eye contact as he said that and it felt like you have been punched in the face. You were speechless. “And call me Hotch, or Aaron, not Sir.” After that, he gave you a nod before walking off to his own car.                                       “Goodbye, Aaron.” You called out as he disappeared around the corner. His name felt strange in your mouth as if it didn’t belong there. Standing there for a moment, staring into the empty abyss of the parking lot.                    

The comfort of your car was no help either. You grip the steering wheel tightly until your fingers turn white. The heating turned up at full blast and did nothing to deter the goosebumps all over your body. All it had taken was 8 words from Aaron Hotchner to render you completely incapable of any normal thoughts. 

[alphabetboyluvr]

bad decisions | jjk - series masterlist

title credit: bad decisions - bts

pairing: bartender!jungkook x female reader | strangers-friends-lovers, fwb

synopsis

it's simple: write your deepest darkest fears on origami birds and string them up on jungkook's ceiling. when they fall—which they inevitably will, thanks to his cheap daiso washi tape—you have to face the fear. set it free. the issue? you've a fear of intimacy. jungkook, a fear of rejection. and you've both got the capacity to make some incredibly bad decisions.

genre / tropes: smut, fluff, a lil angst, bartender!jk, student!jk, strangers-to-friends-to-lovers (?), fwb, deal arrangement, undefined relationship (they're just friends! just besties!!), miscommunication, idiots in love, emotional slow burn, bucket list (a.k.a. the birds) - see read more for warnings & authors note

wordcount: 450k babbbbyyyy (on-going)

soundtrack: official | reader suggestions

start date: 2022.08.06

minors dni // originally posted to wattpad

warnings: reader has a fear of emotional intimacy and uses physical intimacy as a substitute, jungkook has a deep-rooted fear of rejection. lots of drinking, lots of cursing, lots of bad decisions (every chapter includes at least (1)), jk and the oc have different styles of communication (woo miscommunication!!), a lot of past relationship trauma on both sides, jungkook is the sweetest angel baby ever, jin is kinda evil, jimin is a shit shag (and you have to experience it not once but twice!)

smut warnings: oc is a lil bratty, both switchy but jaykay definitely leads <3, fingering, oral (m & f), ass play, a looooot of titty sucking, cock warming, vaginal sex, sex toys (m & f), every position ever created, jaykay has a huge cawk <3, filming, lots of showering together, thigh riding, 69, squirting, panty sniffing (and sucking !), mutual masturbation, motel sex, endless orgasms, like, idek what else to add but there's more!! they just fuck a lot!! not my fault!! blame the birds!!

note from holly: i heard bad decisions once, ONCE, and knew i had to write about whiney jaykay and how fucking him would be a bad decision, but then it spiralled and now im 370k words deep into a fic about origami birds, glitter, and the way jungkook thinks he'll die every time he gets horny. of everything I've ever written it's hands down my favourite set of characters. jungkook is good in a way that he isn't in literally any of my other fics. i think it's my most well-received fic over on wp and it's just v v special to me. i hope u enjoy it!

BAD DECISIONS

key: smut 💖 | holly's fave ✨ | reader fave* 🪩 | bird 🕊 | club 🍇 *as per my wp stats all chapters listed below are available on wp, and will eventually be linked here too.

BD #1 - Purple Starfuckers - 3.5k

🍇 | a disco ball walks into a bar...

BD #2 - Park Jimin - 3.2k

💖 | does it count if you don't finish?

BD #3 - Coffee - 2k

message request from justjk

BD #4 - The Gym - 4.1K

just wanted an excuse to write about gym rat jk tbh

BD #5 - The Bet - 6.6k

🍇🪩 | songs that remind you of the past, blissfully unaware you're laying the foundations of your future

BD #6 - Wishing - 6k

🍇| summer goes by in a technicolour haze

BD #7 - Sex With An Ex - 6k

✨| kim seokjin looks like an angel, loves like lucifer

BD #8 - Washi Tape - 8k

enter stage left: origami birds

BD #9 - White - 6k

✨🕊 | old, leering men at waterparks are gross. jungkook is not.

BD #10 - Blonde - 3.5k

in the wise words of maisie peters, there's nothing more frightening than a woman scorned and a box of bleach

BD #11 - Perry - 5.9k

🕊 | it's totally normal to shower with your friends

BD #12 - An Agreement -7.4k

💖🕊 | jungkook has to leave the room cause he gets way too hard (in a platonic way)

BD #13 - Work of Art - 11.8k

💖 🪩🕊 | you discover mirrors. jungkook discovers tits. learning is fun!

BD #14 - New Rules - 8k

💖 🪩🕊 | jungkook's got nice hands and he knows how to use them

TO BE UPLOADED

BD #15 - Paper Planes

BD #16 - Overindulging

BD #17 - Jeon Jungkook

BD #18 - Cake

BD #19 - Send To All

BD #20 - Park Jimin... Again

BD #21 - Doing The 'Right' Thing

BD #22 - Listening To Jimin

BD #23 - Cherry Picking

BD #24 - Resolutions

BD #25 - January

BD #26 - January, Still

BD #27 - Keeping Quiet

BD #28 - Avoidance

BD #29 - 'Daddy'

BD #30 - Evaluating The Meaning of 'Home'

BD #31 - The Photo Booth

BD #32 - Question...?

BD #33 - Boundaries (Or Lack Thereof)

BD #34 - Speed Dating

BD #35 - Saying 'Please'

BD #36 - Denial

BD #37 - Faking It

BD #38 - Delaying The Inevitable

BD #39 - Rooms

BD #40 - Spinning Bottles

BD #41 - Locked Doors

BD #42 - Hitting Where It Hurts

Wattpad | AO3

[haknom]

YOU’RE SO DRAMATIC — NISHIMURA RIKI

SYNOPSIS: you two made a great couple and were quite the dramatic bunch, especially you.

PAIRING: bf!niki x gn!reader (ft. allen from cravity and gunwook from zb1)

WARNINGS: swearing, mentions of guns and shooting, mentions of blood, mentions of death/dying, not proofread, established relationship, and kissing.

WORDCOUNT: 843 words

NOTE: don’t diss my actions PLEASSEEE

THE FIELD WAS CLEAR OF PEOPLE. YOU WERE THE ONLY OPPONENT THERE.

You cautiously approached the nearby boulder, your equipment causing quite a ruckus. You held onto it, hoping it would silence the noise, and luckily, it did.

The gun you held was close to your chest. You couldn’t make any sudden movements or you would die.

This was serious, at least for you.

“Are you okay in area A?” The voice in your earpiece asked, startling you.

You pressed down on the item, getting rid of the static noise and replied with a, “Yes. It’s clear.” while informing your teammate, Niki, of the situation.

“Great, I’ll be there soon.” His voice became a whisper, causing you to hear him less. Why did he go quiet? What was happening on his end?

Worry began to fill your system as you adventured out further into area A. You had to find him stat.

“Niki, are you okay? Where are you?” You asked, slightly concerned. Although your mind was filled with many thoughts, you still focused on your surroundings, looking in every direction for your next target.

“I’m fine—” His words were interrupted by the sound of a gunshot, startling both of you. All you heard through his end was a shushing noise that was directed at you. He knew how much you would worry and he couldn’t have you babbling in his ear.

Not right now at least.

You tried your best to stay quiet, running through the field to find your teammate. You couldn’t lose him. That would hurt too much.

You broke the barricade on the door with the back of your gun, rushing through the maze.

“Shit,” you muttered. This was quite complicated. You kept arriving at dead ends, frustration making its way to you.

Footsteps became louder as you ran through the maze, indicating that you were close to Niki and whoever he was with.

You pressed down on your earpiece as another shot rang through your ears. Your hands began to shake, he couldn’t die. There was no way in hell you would let him.

“I’m here,” you whispered, crouching as you walked to the middle of the maze, approaching the opponent from behind.

You held up your gun, looking through the scope while aiming for the opponent's head. As you shot his head, he did the same, shooting Niki right in the arm.

The boy stumbled on his feet, slouching over while revealing Niki’s stunned face in the process. Your eyes widened.

This couldn’t be happening right now.

You lowered your gun with slightly shaky hands as your eyes slowly turned to the red spot on his arm. Redness trickled down his arm, making its way to the palm of his hands.

It dripped from the tips of his fingers, almost looking like a blood fountain.

Out of instinct, you dropped your gun and ran towards Niki immediately, passing by your groaning opponent.

“Are you okay?” You asked while holding his arm. When there was no answer, you looked at him worried. He smiled at you, placing his hand on top of yours.

“You’re shaking,” he said in an attempt to calm you down.

“I’m fine.” He reassured you as your eyes searched his.

“Gosh, you guys are so dramatic! It’s paint, Y/N, paint.” A voice said. Suddenly, the scenery of a maze built with green hedges was then turned into a maze with black walls. They had a wall trim of red that lit up, it was cool.

“Your imagination is something else. How do you imagine that we’re out on a battlefield?” They asked as you both turned to look at them.

“I’m definitely going to get a headache after this one.” Your friend, Allen, said while rubbing the back of his head.

“Why do you have such a good aim in paintball?” He complained while bringing his hand down to see the green paint all over it. It will be difficult to wash his hair tonight.

“Anyways, you guys win. Gunwook got out a while ago.” He sighed while placing his gun on the ground. You smiled in satisfaction.

“I think I was too invested in this match. Was I really shaking?” You asked, embarrassed. Niki replied with something you didn’t want to see, a nod.

“Yeah, you’re so dramatic.” He teased while laughing as you hit him in his chest.

“Ouch, I have a wound remember. I’m an injured person.” He said, signalling at the wet paint on his arm. You stuck out your tongue, putting it back in your mouth a second later.

Niki took this opportunity to lean down and lay a peck to your lips, leaving you stunned.

“Don’t do that.” You muttered, but he just smiled.

“No promises.” He replied, smile growing even more as he placed a kiss to your cheek, then forehead, and finally your lips again.

“Gross, man. Do it somewhere else.” Allen exclaimed with pure disgust on his face and walked away.

1 point for Niki and Y/N and 0 points for Allen and Gunwook.

Ξ © HAKNOM, 2023.

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