#working out my thoughts
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I'm afab nonbinary, transmasc, and I feel like lately my friends and family who know and accept that I'm trans are treating me more like a transman than the nonbinary person I am. I feel like I've leaned too hard in the other direction, and I want to be seen more neutrally. My best friend was even joking that I'm straight, because I'm a masc person who's interested in women, which I get the joke but also pls no? I'm literally not? I wouldn't have a problem with it if yknow I was actually a trans man, that would be straight, but I'm not and comments like that make me feel like they're not seeing me for who I actually am.
Like when someone calls me exclusively male terms and doesn't really use the "they" part of my he/they pronouns I just get this sinking feeling in my chest. It would be fine if they also referred to me neutrally sometimes, but they don't and it feels wrong to be just seen as a boy or like Transman-lite.
I know this is a stupid little issue, and I'm happy that I have accepting people in my life. I've just been struggling lately because I don't want to look at their support and say "tone it down a bit", because that feels ungrateful and rude. But I do want them to refer to me in a more neutral way. I'm not a girl, but I'm not a boy either. That's the point.
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(also feel free in the tags to clarify Why you made the choice you made!! :0c)
#polls#tumblr polls#For me I think the top ones would be the House. The Money. or the Friend Group. But I ultimately might would go for the house#JUST becuase it would be my Dream House which means it would already meet mostly all of my specifications#and what I might be looking for. which would save a lot of time searching or customizing/rennovating.#Also because I could use that as a way to leave the US lol.. like .. if I get to choose my dream location.. couldnt I just choose some othe#country?? But I wonder how that works. Can you legally 100% have full ownership of a property in a country yet not be a citizen of that#country?? Would you show up and be like 'erm.. i own this house.. so i shall now live in it' and theyd be like 'uh no. you cant live here#despite owning the house. leave.' ??#So I think the initial process of 1. scraping together funds to actually MOVE myself and my most valuable belongings physically#TO another country. and 2. figuring out how to STAY in that country . might end up being difficult.. BUT. if I could just work that#part of things out then.. dream house?? security for once in my life?? stability?? :0#Though the $1mil is enticing it's also like.. I feel .. with the way housing prices are now... that's not much???#it's a lot I guess if you plan on like.. investing half the money and staying in an apartment for 5 years while you grow your wealth#or something. but if you're a 'I Need Stability NOW' ready to settle down person who would be most interested in owning a property rather#than nice clothes or a car or whatever other investments you could make then.. eh..?? It seems like unless you're okay with living in#a small town or kind of far away from the city - even some SMALL houses in majorly populated areas in the US will be like#$600.000 - $900.000 or something. like that would be MOST of my money. Which I know you could just pay partially and make#payments on it but idk.. in the option of just outright owning the house it seems like it'd end up being cheaper.#Plus I would want to own it fully asap because I'd be afraid of losing it somehow otherwise. like it being taken for medical bills or#something. which I thought was supposed to be - not IMPOSSIBLE - slightly more complicated legally if you actually have#paid off the house in full. I guess the issue then would be utilities and property tax and such. But I feel like thats overcome-able??#Like I could just stipulate that my Dream House has a little furnished addition or something and then find someone#with money and be like 'Look you can live in this extremely nice area with amazing ameneties and updated everything and ALL you have#to do is give me money to cover the utilities and property tax.'' or something like that. Like the little furnished addition is nicer#than the actual house. they have their own pool and spa and movie room or something and Ill also cook all their meals for them#or whatever (how luxurious it would be depeneds on how high the property tax actually is/how much I would need to entice them into#why it's a good deal for them to pay it for me lol). idk... something like that.. ANYWAY#I asked a few people I know though and one of them answered they'd rather have a romantic partner. the other one said they'd like#to be able to choose someone to die lol.. So I'm curious what people value the most
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Okay guys
#i don't wanna work a minute longer on this one i honestly started to hate it so im getting it out of my system as soon as possible#i have other Bilbo Baggins fanarts planned;)#also i dont care what anyone says Bilbo likes kids#hes a story teller he wrote the book for Frodo#maybe he got the idea from the young hobbits who have been a constant pesterers of his life asking him to tell stories about his adventure#i dont know i have a lot of thoughts on this but i cant write it down#not the best with words i am (as you can see from the dialogue lol)#anywaaaayss eat up Bilbo enjoyers#the hobbit#hobbit#bilbo baggins#tolkien#bilbo my beloved
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state of you // 花城
qifrey cover redraw! because i realized what's better than drawing blorbo once is drawing blorbo four times
(no reposts; reblogs appreciated)
#i did say i'd draw hc in every stage of life so here are some stages!#my art#artists on tumblr#digital art#fanart#heaven official's blessing#tgcf#hua cheng#tian guan ci fu#天官赐福#wu ming#this is shaping up to be worse than my star wars phase#my sister asked me if hc was a pirate#and i had to do some self-reexamination bc i thought i had escaped my pirate-themed media era#but no im still here#i think hc is pirate adjacent#not only bc the eyepatch and general rudeness and murder but also#bc he does what he wants in accordance with a really specific set of morals that other ppl don't understand#i'll stop here or this will become a whole dissertation#anyway the coloring process for this was weird but it worked out yayy
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i should have prepared more for davrin week but here's a very rough take on a combo of day 1 and 2 @datvcompanionweeks
#dragon age#davrin#cw animal death#my art#i thought i was gonna have the evening to work but then i found out sinners was leaving my local theater tomorrow and had to go see it asap#i did not go in meaning to make something dark but oh well this is where the art took me
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don't think I'm not still obsessing over 7-12
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 12 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 12 spoilers#sorry it's even scribblier than usual :') hopefully my chickenscratch is legible#anyway come here and join me in the corner where we go to be embarrassing about anime characters#just. between riddle and trey's dreams i've been thinking a lot about how#trey knew this kid for like two months when he was nine and then never really got over him or how their friendship ended#which. honestly. understandable given the circumstances#and then when they finally met again riddle acted like they'd never met before and neither he nor trey ever intended trey to be his vice#but every time riddle talks about his childhood post-incident it's basically#'oh yeah i constantly thought about trey and che'nya and fantasized about still being friends with them! this is fine and normal'#(there's a bit in one of his birthday cards where he talks about crossword puzzles and shit man that one got me)#idk. i can't put this into words very well#just...the implications that riddle was actively resisting trey's friendship#(presumably because it ended SUPER badly last time and he's learned that if he shows he wants something it gets taken away from him)#and trey had to work REALLY hard to just to get to the point they were at by the time canon starts#that was progress somehow#y'all can call him boring all you want but trey's defining feature really is that he keeps being like#'everything's fine :) this isn't a big deal :) i don't care that much'#(trey on the inside: THIS IS THE BIGGEST DEAL THAT I CARE SO MUCH ABOUT AND I WILL NEVER LET IT GO)#anyway i continue to be absolutely murdered by the timing of riddlepunzel directly after this#riddle's line about not wanting to keep standing in front of a door that's never going to open...#hey. hey silly gacha game about anime disney boys.#you are not actually allowed to do this to me#oh shit oh damn i'm out of tags and i haven't even talked about cater yet. NO BUT I HAVE LOTS OF FEELINGS THERE TOO --#(i am crushed under a falling safe looney tunes style)
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Yes he did ☺️
#arcane#jayvik#jayce x viktor#jayce talis#viktor arcane#jayce giving a foot rub to viktor after every hard day's work in the lab#the very thought#i can't get it out of my head#...i need to do some research on ao3#my art
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Imagen how entertaining it would be if these 2 interact. And I'm a fan of possessive/jealous/protective Stolas (Which I don't see enough of <(_ _)>)
#helluva boss#Stolitz#Stolas#Blitz#blitzø#emberlynn pinkle#Honestly had no idea what to do with the coloring#So I just went crazy. Tried stuff and made them work#OK but this oddly gave me angsty idea#Of Stolas trying to use his magic out of habit/instinct#Only for him to be reminded that he CAN'T#Reopening that wound over and over#How did this sad thought come from a silly drawing???#Fun fact: I tried to use Stolas clothes from the trailer but couldn't tell if he's wearing pants.#So I just drew him in a fancy ones.#Kido art#My art#My stuff
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SCIENCE BEGETS TRUTH✨
#ace attorney#my art#ema skye#the text behind her also says 'SCIENCE BEGETS TRUTH#and she's holding two micro pipettes haha#YES I KNOW THEY'RE UPSIDE DOWN LEAVE ME ALONE#THEY ARE EMPTY!! GOD FORBID A MAD SCIENTIST HAVE WHIMSY#I really liked doing this one tbh... it's fun silly ace attorney stuff but behind it is a message I truly believe in too!!!#I used to work in a lab. I thought I wanna gunna be a scientist#I'm an artist now though. I hope AU scientist me is out there living her best life#this art is a love letter from me to ace attorney and to science!!!!#thank you everyone on patreon for voting for me to draw ema skye
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sun goes down 🌟
astarion x tav commission for @/alays.version over on instagram. she’s consoling him after burning in the pier 😔🫶
#astarion ancunin#astarion x tav#astarionmance#tavstarion#bg3 tav#baldur’s gate 3#bg3#commissions.#mine.#look at my new watermark hehehe I’m trying it out#but I liked working on this one!! and actually I got this comm halfway working through the hag romance drawing#and I thought that was such a fun coincidence. not everyone wanting an after the docks scene 😭
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my favorite nonsense headcanon: winners get silly little marks like in warrior cats
for extra drama: the previous winner gets to decide where the next one's mark goes
#life series#life series winners#life series smp#trafficblr#grian#scott smajor#pearlescentmoon#martyn inthelittlewood#goodtimeswithscar#joel smallishbeans#zombiecleo#my art#rough work#just the faintest whiff of treebark for a one-off joke that was too amusing to me to leave out#i did start writing out an analysis for each winners mark and the thought process of the previous winners choice#but then i realized no one is gonna read all of that LOL#just know that the placement covers both season symbolism AND relationships between the prev and next winners + how they see their own mark
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top part's bc i wanted to design a little sticker for myself - couldn't resist adding a little smooch (:< 2-for-1 combo of a little more of a size difference than i usually go for and the pointy ears @poly-hebdo draws derek with because it's cute as fuck
[find this and my other art on Redbubble!]
#teen wolf#derek hale#stiles stilinski#sterek#my art#drawing in this style (colored lines w/o pressure sensitivity and v simple shading) made me super nostalgic for my one piece era lol#did this in 10-minute breaks between moving and working the past few days#today is my first day off where I'm not out of the apartment from 8am-6pm in 3 weeks#time to DRAW#thought I'd throw a morsel out to the size difference crowd lol#I could get behind stiles having a late growth spurt post-nogitsune bc hey lack of sleep interferes with growth in adolescents#but almost-same-height-slightly-different-build is still my main squeeze
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in spite of everything, I had fun <3
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk leaks#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#itafushikugi#jjk 271#well we made it :'>#im kind of ignoring a lot of the tag rn ghsdff ik people are upset#if u follow me u know th full extent of my thoughts on the wrapping up of the series but tl;dr the caption says it all#this series meant a lot to me and im working on a bigger tribute to fully express that love and gratitude#but take a redraw 2 tide u over for now#im just so happy. its bittersweet but those r my kids n theyre tgt and theyre okay#i think the return to normalcy is good fr them. i say let them rest n b together n process everything in time#/i'm/ satisfied with what i got out of jjk as a whole and that's all that matters to me#however ik that not everyone shares tht sentiment n thats valid!#regardless of how u feel abt the finale i hope that u at least take time to remember things abt the series that brought u joy#thats all i can say#oh yeah anyway i lightened up megumi's expression his face is so funny in that panel i can't believe he really said -_- until the very end#still tho i think megu deserves a content lil smile
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twins in time continuation of that blue doodle comic thingy, but fidd is forced to take care of stan when Ford gets into the portal stuff, leaving him behind.

I reckon he teaches him math…
#I’m realising you meant to make it MORE angsty up in here and lemme say I love how your brain works#I have yet to decide how ford getting stuck in the portal works with this au#I’m getting more and more into it I might need to actually sit down and flesh it out smh#but yknow fidds being a dad and all#I dunno maybe having lil Stanley around makes him stick around ford for longer#or maybe he just yoinks him outta there bc ford should NOT be around a kid in that state#more accurately bill shouldn’t be around kids…#OOOGH THOUGHTS!!!#my art#ask#twins in time au#stan pines#ford pines#stanford pines#stanley pines#fiddleford mcgucket#gravity falls
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obligatory beach divorce doodling
bonus rough cover redraw of x-men #41 (1995) But Beach Divorce below cut
#mcu#marvel cinematic universe#xmen#xmen movies#xmen first class#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#professor x#magneto#snap sketches#'snap i thought you were drawing old cherik this weekend' so did i but i was inflicted with visions sorry </3#i have my lil 92 comic sketched so ill do that tomorrow. not finish it but ill work on it 💀#i wsa just gonna draw the first thing but then i figureed i might as well draw Most of the beach-divorce-related things i want to#just so i could put it all on one post. however this is a lie and i know ill wanna doodle more beach stuff#the first drawing Unsurprisingly was motivated BY the xmen 41 legion quest cover- at the very least the total blackout of erik's face#i wanna draw more of erik using his powers .. i wanna figure out how i wanna draw the effect etc etc#i was just gonna redraw the cover but i already liked the sketch i did of the first thing so. here we are#plus i figure someones already done a redraw of the cover but if anyone cares ill finish my version ig LOL#as for the comic ermmm it was just an excuse to draw erik with glowing eyes </3 and fading-glowing eyes </3#thats why i didnt draw the whole. Choking Moira bit. but i wouldve if i was redrawing the whole scene#kinda wish i did now that i think of it cause it coulda looked cooler prob but oh well maybe in like. three months when i redraw this#for exactly five cents ill redraw the whole beach divorce erlkjealkaje i can see it so clearly in my mind#what if first class was a comic drawn by a freak thatd be wild#but yeah thats why everything look rough as christ these were just supposed to be silly lil thangs#'silly things' and its beach divorce OK.#ok bye im gonna do my homework
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scully is truly one of the characters most near and dear to my heart.
she's a navy brat. a middle child to a distant father. a genius. she rewrote einstein at age 23. she is a doctor and a scientist and she's wrestled with god, but never stopped wearing the cross necklace from her mother. she's jealous and territorial. she likes rules and still breaks them with regularity.
she will not discuss her emotions unless it's under 50 layers of metaphor, but she also cannot hide her feelings, so she sits there, visibly moody. she is a terrible liar. she falls asleep easily. she can and will kill someone, but she's such a good shot that she usually doesn't need to- she can put a bullet right in your collarbone and call an ambulance instead.
she spouts disconcerting facts about bugs and decomposition and genetics and saints without blinking. she once autopsied a guy and then ordered his last meal for dinner. she can cure alien viruses. she wants the real cream cheese on her bagel and something sweet to drink. how could you not love her.
#there are so many other things that i could say here but. this is a good starting list.#i just worked out for 2 and a half hours and my brain is so quiet and peaceful and only contains scully thoughts#it's a little funny#dana scully
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