#wtf simon haha

[ladyoftheburn]

Forever in love that Simon’s love language is biting his vampire boyfriend

[starl3ght]

141 + more with a reader that sleeps a lot

A/N: I’m back from the dead, haha Melanie Martinez kinnie. I have a cousin that sleeps till 3 in the afternoon like wtf😨 I live for these men. They’re fine as fuckkkkkkk I loved making this

Requests are open and follow for more <333

-

-

Simon “Ghost” Riley

• He won’t be worried that much about you

• Maybe you’re just tired so he lets you do your own thing

• He respects you and what you just do around the house so he allows it

• But notices how you nap like every 3 hours a day and he gets concerned

• You just drop wherever. The couch, the living room floor, he found you outside in the grass one time.

• He throws a blanket over you each time and rubs his temple wondering what he’s gonna do with you

• “Love, you know this isn’t healthy right?”

• You had just woken up from your 4th nap.

• You look at him with your puppy eyes

• “But I’m tired”

• Don’t melt his heart, it makes him weak.

• “Trust me you’re gonna regret it, now up you go.”

• He’ll throw you over his shoulder and makes you do some random activities for you not to fall asleep.

John “Soap” Mactavish

• Might do the same thing but not much as you.

• He thinks it’s weird that you just close your eyes and stay dead for a few hours

• Might wake you up for fun

• He likes seeing you angry

• He sprayed you with the bottle one time. That wasn’t a good thing to do let’s just say.

• But seriously he is a bit concerned for you

• So when he walked into the literal, pitched black living room with the tv on and opened the blinds to the sunlight you hissed like some savage cat

• He only looks at you with a weird look

• “Jesus…alright, up and at em love.”

• You’ll just throw the blanket over your face again

• Ok, that’s how you wanna play it? He can play that game too

• He’ll grab your legs and drag you off the couch

• “No Johnny” you’re hugging a pillow against your face and he keeps dragging you “Not letting go that easy love. Now up.”

• He’ll pick you up putting your legs around his torso and your arms around his neck

• “We’re going out, dunno where but you’re done with your hobby for today bonnie”

• You went to Starbucks together( ˘ ³˘)♥

John Price

• Concerned as any parent would be

• Limits your sleeping time

• Has his alarm on his phone to wake you up

• “Love rise and shine, well technically it’s 4 in the afternoon so…”

• You’re still dead.

• He’ll stroke your face to wake you or just come back to existence💀

• Kisses your forehead and shakes your shoulder gently

• If you wake up he’s not letting you go back to sleep

• “You ready to stay up now love?”

• You violently shake your head no but he takes you to the living room so you can watch tv or read a book

• He needs you to be more active🤷‍♀️

• Might consider taking you to a doctor but tries to help you first

• Watches your sleeping habits well

• If it’s insomnia he’ll comfort you in his lap as you rant on about your sleeping issues

• He’ll make you sleep at the same time as him and takes you out to keep you busy or distracted.

Kyle “Gaz” Garrick

• Honestly it’s ok with him

• He just doesn’t like it when it happens for like a week straight

• 2-3 days is alright him because it’s a long tiring week so.

• When its 5 times every day he’s not allowing it

• Feels bad for waking you up

• “Baby?”

• You’re still in the world of dreams

• “Love, it’s time to wake up now”

• He uses that sweet soft voice you love so much

• But you won’t wake up

• He doesn’t know what to do that he might consider calling Price for help

• When you do wake up and look at him with your eyes with bags under his heart melts

• You must be having some issues

• He’ll make you sleep early so you’re ok for the next day

• He’ll take care of you, trust me

Alejandro Vargas

• Future husband mode activated

• Worries that waking you will get you angry

• But remembers it isn’t healthy

• So he uses your weaknesses to wake you up ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

• Mans kisses the crook of your neck and strokes your hair

• “Mi amor…wake up for me” That deep sweet voice he’s got for you

• You shift around in your sleep and open your eyes

• You just go to the bathroom and go back to the couch to sleep again

• He’s standing there frozen🧍

• “Ahora si, wake up mi vida.”

• He picks you up and that’s when you wake up

• You’ll slap his shoulder from anger

• “There we go…”

• He takes you to the bedroom and gives you a reason to be tired if you know what I mean🙂✨🌹

Rodolfo Parra

• AYYYY BABY😍😍😍😍

• He loves you too much

• He’s very worried for your health

• “Mi vida por favor, wake up.”

• You just won’t budge

• Worries a bit much now

• Like what if you’re staying up all night and he hasn’t noticed and so you sleep all day

• But that if that wasn’t the issue he would calm down

• You just sleep…like a lot

• Considers giving you melatonin for the night and taking you out the next day to have your energy

• He always gently touches you and when you wake he’ll give you something to eat

• He’s literally like a parent having to take care of you

• Will help you with your habits

König

• Won’t wake you up

• He’s scared

• Like what if you’re so peaceful and he upsets you from waking you up

• But reminds himself this is for your own good

•If you fall asleep on him then may he rest in piece.

• He’s not getting you off of him anytime soon and not easily

• Will nudge you shoulder hoping you open your eyes

• “Schatz??”

•You’re still sleeping. Are you even breathing??

• “Please wake up” oh now his voice is anxious

• “König what are you doing, it’s 8 in the morning”

• Wtf is wrong with you👁👄👁

• “Umm, meine liebe it’s 2 in the afternoon actually…”

• You reach out your arms like a baby wanting to be picked up

• So he does

• Picks you up gently as if you were the most fragile thing

• “Geliebte I think we should talk about your habits my dear.”

Alex Keller

• This mf let’s you do whatever you want

• He only gets curious when you’re in random places napping

• That’s when he realized it’s weird that you sleep a lot

• “Baby, you should’ve been awake 3 hours ago. It’s already 9 pm ”

• He’s literally standing in the living room and you’re on the carpet floor with a blanket over you

• Bro reaches for the blanket and throws it across the room and you wake up whining

• “Alex stop, let me sleep.”

• He gives you an almost offended look

• “It’s already been 5 years, it’s time for you to rise. Now go eat something”

• Drags you to the kitchen and makes you eat

• Now when it’s time for bed you don’t wanna sleep

• He’ll make you either way and holds you to his chest so you can’t escape

[raceweek]

Hey what happened in the 2020 season with Alex? (Sorry new fan and still learning)

omg you never need to apologise to me for not knowing things i literally know nothing

the 2020 season from the alexnation perspective was like being in a hamster ball being hurled around for 5 months straight basically but here’s the breakdown:

so for context 2019 was really really good for alex he was promoted as a rookie and he shunted a fair few times and most of the time wasn’t on maxs quali pace but red bull were the third quickest team so he wasn’t expected to win or anything. alex ultimately beat pierres points tally from his 12 races in the red bull within 7 as a rookie so like. whilst it was insane behaviour for red bull to promote him in the first place he did perform phenomenally

then we turn to 2020 pre season testing. mercedes was dominant as per (dreamy sigh) and the red bull was quick but looked. edgy. for both alex and max but ferrari were fucking nowhere so it was still like really positive for red bull bc it was basically two extra places gained and then. global pandemic. and then as a footnote to the whole you know. global pandemic. sebastian vettel was dumped from the love island villa (ferrari (everyone gasped))

and then! triple header one and the first race in austria had max running an upgraded front wing and none for alex and it was like understood i think like it wasn’t a big deal at the time

and then everything that could have possibly happened. happened. in the race and alex and lewis…yeah. but the world did in fact keep spinning!

and then alex got p4 in the second austria race (altho. significantly off of maxs pace in p3 for sureee) and everyone was like if only max had a rear gunner (wistful) which in my opinion is an insult to lewis and the w11 but whatever. nothing else really happened here other than horner and marko making kissy faces at seb during this time but that’s just contextfkdkd

so then the next race in hungary alex qualified p13 and even though max only qualified p7 and it was the third race of the season alex was getting eaten alive and george was on live tv like red bull are making him look like an idiot and he’s not an idiot and they need to fix it for him and it was like fucking hell what is going ONNN we haven’t even made it to the third race yet (like imagine anyone coming out and declaring this after australia quali this year like. wild scenes)

so then one week break and then triple header two started and during the races at silverstone they start talking in the media about when the best time to demote alex is even though the only times he’d finished outside the top six was brazil 2019 and austria 2020 which. pls consult youtube if you need further info here

they also changed alexs race engineer in silverstone so More turbulence altho completely welcome this time (simon rennie come back we love u, ur so sexc haha x)

then during the final triple header 2 race in barcelona he gets put on the most ass strategy known to man like with context this was criminal behaviour actually

and then one week break and then triple header 3 starts (do you feel like a hamster yet) at spa and unbeknownst to us all at the time but later confirmed by will buxton and dts horner is in the mf pitlane in spa propositioning seb like one more year and then you can come home which. have some decorum alex is behind you in the garage. but anyway in the general media everyone was gagging for pierre’s red bull return so there were bigger fish

anyway. SPA. they did this to my boy

and alex made the best out of it but as per the comeback kid episode of dts that everyone loves (🙃) alex was made out to be useless and it was like. wtf did you expect

THEN between spa and monza helmut marko was like oh btw alex hasn’t actually had the same parts as max for most races this year okay bye and alexnation was like…wtf. but then no one else really cared and it was like UMMM OKAY

and then monza happened and alex was in a first lap sandwich involving pierre and then second lap crashed into grosjean (alexs fault - live laugh love x) and had a huge chunk of his floor missing so finished p nowhere and then. pierre won and good for her i guess but then ex drivers were on live tv demanding alex step down for pierre which like no one has ever done this in the history of the sport as far as im aware so it was fucking savage especially when this was the first race alex had finished outside of the points for red bull in (with the exception of the two aforementioned events)

and then mugello wooooooooooooo!! alexs first podium!!!!!! i was gassed at the time but it was sort of sad looking back like if you listen to his team radio across the line from getting p7 in canada and then compare it to his first podium in mugello it’s. yeah! we were enduring it!!

and then sochi happened in its own weird bubble and alex was nowhere really got caught behind carlos hitting the wall at the first corner after a poor quali and that was that

then. triple header number four starts with horner giving alex an ultimatum of we’re backing you but we want results in the next three races or ur finished hunny which. okay

then first race of the triple header max ends up blocking alex in his quali run (live laugh love 2.0 x) and then:

YEAH

nurburgring was the they race me so hard incident. available to view elsewhere bc god knows im not reliving that!!

imola was again nightmarish. red bull media team said alex was working with a mental coach (patrick his trainer had got mental health qualifications basically) and was supporting him etc which. here comes paul di resta live on air laughing about how max wouldn’t need mental support. it was once again. brutal. especially bc he was getting a load of xenophobic abuse online already like fuck off

back on the track alex basically spun on his own but thought he had been hit and no one thought to tell him before he went into the media pen that he hadn’t actually been hit so it was fucking awkward and yeah twitter was brutal again

then istanbul happened. red bull looked promising but both max and alex finished well off so it was just whatever really lewis did a madness no one really cared about red bull

then final three races of the season started with the grosjean crash in bahrain which ended with alex on the podium and then checo won sakhir and alex wasn’t really there and then we were at the final race in abu dhabi where red bull officially signed checo (as confirmed by will buxtons analysis of the curtains. god i can’t believe this season was real)

but alex didn’t find out for like two weeks later when the season was well and truly over and was taking drinks to the factory for everyone and it was heartbreaking and then he didn’t have a seat and spent the next year saying it killed him so. yeah…TA-DA

[tojisun]

BAKER!SIMON.

https://youtube.com/shorts/ayobRLPBUzg?si=qD4OEg9PtngpnN5L

literally the first thing i thought of i NEEDED to show you 🫡

bro i almost blocked u for this ☹️

u have to repent. literally get down on ur knees and beg for forgiveness bc wtf did u make me watch 😭

this is u when i catch ur ass fr:

i was so excited getting my first baker!simon ask n then u pulled a silly n traumatized me. im cleansing my youtube shorts as we speak!!

-

…ok so u didnt hear this from me but that video is actually so johnny-coded im crying

he sent it to group chat and he got his ass blocked!! as he should!!

im in stitches imagining tf141 + reader getting this video at 3 am or smthn and johnnys description was only “bakih!” (wrong spelling and all because hes soo hammered) and you’re staring at the video wide-eyed and confused, still too sleep-delirious to actually understand that johnny’s filmed a thirst trap of him baking and sent it to the group chat. the next thing you know, simon’s bolting outta the bed, kissing your forehead, before running out the apartment because, “how the fuck did mactavish get inside the bakery?!”

(it’s simon’s bakery and johnny shouldn’t have a key)

-

in srs, this is so funny but not in a genuine haha way but in a concerned haha..hahaha..? way 😭

thank u for thinking of me but im actually screaming <333 mwah!

[degreeofdisorder]

young royals s3e6 episode reaction (the last one 😭)

I'm gonna miss this I'm so emo

ok let's go

simon's shaky eyelid I'm gonna rip my foot off

"it feels like you two are never truly over" SPEAK ON IT FELICE

wille's voice breaking I'm gonna start fucking sobbing

"I have to take responsibility for my own problems, I can't drag him down with me" bro I'm gonna kill myself

fuck I can't believe that's the last title

I'm gonna start sobbing ohohoho

he's gonna skip??? when has simon ever skipped in the whole series?

oh sara baby no

MICKE????? YOU RAT

oh, just the car

sure give them the car. that makes up for all the years of abuse. totally.

this conversation is so important help me

"see? she'll be fine" god I hope she will be fine

oh my they look all so nice in the sunlight. wille w the sunglasses. love the look

OH HE'S ASKING ABOUT SIMON STOP IT

haha yea called it

but why tell them like that? like why not call for a full student meeting and tell everyone? so unprofessional

if vincent doesn't Shut the FUCK Up oh my god

if he talked to me like that I'd be throwing fists on fucking god

also stella and fredrika need to calm the fuck down. go to new york then assholes

AUGUST?????

this man cannot be serious. sobbing like that over a school. be so for real. go hate crime someone if you're so upset. fuck

NILS VINCENT AND AUGUST HUGGING WTF

god that's so heartbreaking

fuck them rich kids but that's so heartbreaking

that's so weird. thinking abt simon moving away. it doesn't feel nice.

also rosh and ayub in full panic mode @ simon moving away... not great

NORWAY????

kristina's gonna croak isn't she

NOT THE BOOK OH MY GODJJGLDJFLDKG

chorrito pa las animas aaayyyyyyyyy

NOT NILS AND VINCENT GIVING AUGUST THEIR CONDOLENCES ABT HIM BEING THE SPARE LMFAOOOOOOOOOOO

oh my god that's goddamn hilarious

"you wanna be close to the royals, you don't wanna be one" "which is great for us actually" I can't stop fucking laughing jflsfjlsjflskf

SCREAMS OH GOD

oh god

"I feel empty. and scared" wonderful I love this honesty let's keep it going

oh tgjslfkslf HENRY IM GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU

sure, talk abt the booze and the drugs, that sure will make simon want to come to the party

NOT DOING SHOTS WITH THE HOUSEMASTER I'M GODKGKDLGJDLSKSFKDLFJ

THATS SO FUCKING FUNNYKGKGKFLGKDLGK

baby worm wille is my fav wille

I'VE LOST THE LOVE OF MY LIFE /WHAT/

/WHAT DO YOU MEAN WITH THAT WILHELM/

WHAT THE FUCKFJGKFKFLFKFLFKFLFK

OHMTOG

oh also he acknowledges he's gonna send krissy to an early grave. committing regicide is so based.

anyway LOVE OF MY LIFE?????????

does this track for an endgame or no?

oh god

FOR YOU

PARTY PRIIIIINCE LMAO

oh my god

MALIN????

JSKFJSKFKDGKDKGKKDKGKF

that was some king shit

"and I know erik did worse things in his day" understatement of the century

HE INVITED MALIN AND JOAKIM IM LOSING MY WHOLE DAMN MIND

JSKDKSKFKDLGIFLGKDLGKDLGKDLGKDLGK

king wilhelm fr

they're all so cute

seriously rosh and ayub are damn good friends

HE'S GOT THE FAKE GRASS IN HIS HAND

NOT REVOLUTION IM GON A LILLNYSLEFBFLGKDLFKD

ICANTKDL DELSIRBWIT TTJID

FUXIKC

they brought rosh and ayub I'm gonna cry

do you think rosh and stella are gonna kiss

oh

august looks like a mafia boss

WHAT ARE YOU APOLOGIZING FOR

oh. yeah. that was shitty. I also feel a lot of sympathy for that

oh fuck me I'm watching this in the train

"you know erik loved you more than anything else? the video with you two guys. it wouldn't have meant a thing"

I'm trying so hard not to sob but there's tears streaming down my face i

but I have stronger and more important feelings for you oh my fucking god I'm gonna start sobbing for real

im gonna cry

that was the best day of my life oh my god I'm making a scene in this train what the fuck

NOT THE HAIR

IM KILLINGMTSLEF

IS MY RADAR TOTALLY OFF AKFUSKFJDK

oh

they're totally drunk

NO WAY

NO WAY OH MY GOD THATS SO CUTKEJFLSJGSLFJDLFK

WHAT THE FUCKCJFLDKGKD

WHY WOULD WE LAUGH. WE'LL FIX THAT YOU'RE A STUD YOU CAN HAVE WHOEVER YOU WANT

BRO. VINCENT. NO.

AUGUST'S FACE IM GONNA KMS THEYRE SO CUTE STOP IT

oh don't go after her asshole you're drunk

HE KISSED HER WHY

OHHHHH

OH FUCK

YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH THE PERSON YOU BECOME WHEN YOU'RE WITH ME AND THATS NOT THE SAME THING OH FUCK

HE'S OFFERING TO RUN AWAY???

wille fully has no game huh. august did that immediately, wille is still all ooo im gonna be king my GOD ELOPE WITH SIMON

oh

FUCK SJFLANFJDLFKS

IT'LL PASS IS THIS A *JOKE*

big fan of the random two people with wille just BOLTING when they saw simon. like oooooohoho no this is NOT something we're doing tonight

FORGET WHAT

JUST FOR ONE NIGHT?

oh my god

WE'RE WORTH IT

I don't think I'm gonna take that. like I can't deal with that

no they're not doing that

they're not singing that song they're just not

no

I don't know why I thought it'd be a good idea to watch this in public transport

I thought it would be us

it was us and when it was us it was good

STELLA AND FREDRIKA LETS FUCKING GOOOOOO

FELICES FACE AND HER COVERING UP HER EARS IKFJLDJFLDKFLDKGDLKG

oh

ohh

WILLE'S SONFLSKF

DONT TAÑLTOME

I IN SJAMVLES

EVERYTHING IS FSKE

AUGUST HAS A PICTURE WITH HIM AND ERIK TOOB

oh wow that just broke me

:O

WHAT

THEYRE SINGING SIMON'S SOGN

akwñskd

im shakingb

that is such a nice tradition for the graduating class. I really like that.

KRISSY AND LUDWIG? ARIANA WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE

oh yeah congrats august

why is kristina smiling is she happy abt her son going after the love of his life?

"even though it was sad" actually lmao

IT WASN'T IN VAIN DUMBASS

I NEVER GAVE UP ON US I GAVE UP ON THE ROYAL FAMILY

EHAJFJSF WILJELNW HAT TUECJCL

I HOPE YOU HAVE A NICE SUMMER WHAT RHEUFKCJSLFJDLFK

I'm gonna cry lmao

FELICE ISN'T GOING TO NEW YORK?

OH THEYRE GONNA RUN AWAY TOGETHER

YOUNG ROYALS' GREATEST LOVE STORY EVERYONE

oh my god

oh my GOD

oh man it took one (1) thing she didn't like for krissy to go back to a stuck up bitch

however, I just SCREAMED

there couldn't be any other way now could it

it couldn't have been any other way. truly.

I feel like I can't breathe but in a positive way

LET HIM GO OH MY GOD

omg August's face. bro knows he's fucked

YOU'RE NOT RUNNING AFTER A CAR WILHELM I SWEAR TO GOD

HE GOT OUT OF THE CAE

oh my gOF

OGMT

DID YOU CO IT FOR ME

NO ID DID IT FORNME

I WANT TK BE WITH YOU SIMON

ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE OVER ME - WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK

NSODKS

DIMLNSNFSCE

SIMON'S FSCE

VESCHEING

IM CRYING

JSL

THEYRE NOT DOING THIS TOMME

NO THEYRE OT

NOSROP

THE GIRLS

og

OG fod

the 4th wall break

no

fuck

fuck

fuck me I'm sobbing

god

what an honor it's been to love this show

thank you thank you thank you

[lundenloves]

hi olivia! i know you hear this a lot but it can’t be said enough: your characterization for simon (and all the other 141) is genuinely so so amazing!

i have probably reread all of your dad!simon works over 10 times because it is so easy to imagine :) you capture his demeanor so well, i just love how you write his interactions with the other characters along with the way he thinks.

ooc chummy simon is entertaining to read too, but i always find myself drawn to the way you write him (and your writing in general) haha

just wanted to drop in and say that! hope you’re having a good day or night:)

thank you so much anon wtf :,)

comments like this never fucking miss i love that you enjoy my characterisation so much considering i try to nail the way he is in game. it’s like ultimate flattery.

i’m writing more but it takes me fucking ages cos i’m from mars and just stare at the screen with a dull brain. i hope you sleep well tonight 🗣️

[hawaiiparty2]

guys my friend randomly got facial paralysis and now she's going to get treated with electroshock therapy

I wish i was joking but no

i also thought she was kidding and she was just doing that ''haha funny miracle musical reference'' but wtf

i hope she doesn't get sally face'd or something and/or gets completely bananas in the head like simon

but anyway

i think she'll be ok

[chemicalarospec]

ohmygd I have to liveblog the Xiaolu reaction to the RW&RB trailer because hawlehtashdl;fkajsdljf

it's a completely no-background reaction; we're literally going to get his unfiltered homophobia. I mean I'm joking, I don't think he's homophobic But You Never Know.

he hopes it's going to be a fantasy where "there's a hero with a big sword and a villain with a big sword and they have a legendary battle". The bullet comments are right: 笑死我了。

Also I checked out the below comments and xiaolu seems to have found it confusing but The People are defending it because "trailers for movies based off books often make more sense after reading the book" and they all loved the book, election drama and all???? My earlier assessment that the American political catharsis is key to the book's popularity was completely wrong I guess.

His guess is that Alex and Henry are "models for a male magazine" alk;sjdf

WTF HE RECOGNIZED BUCKINGHAM PALACE ON SIGHT???? "I know this room." ???? I don't think this is just Normal for British people??

He said it's a fking stripper cake. I see it.

He can also recognize the crosses/ribbons/symbol thingys of the British knighthood orders on sight... he was in the military though allegedly so that kinda makes sense? The one Henry is wearing is the Order of St. Stanislav.

He's infodumping on the Order of St. Stanislav right now. Apparently it was the lowest Russian Order, originally Polish, discontinued in 1917. Henry is wearing the old Polish version because the eagles are white. He put an image comparison onscreen and it's not a perfect match but I see it.

"'To convince the world [they're] actually friends' - oooooh, I see, so basically. Are they gay?" YES. LET'S GO. He figured it out 45 seconds in (yes I had to pull of the trailer separately to figure that out for this post no one will read). He thinks they're trying to convince the press they're not together rather than not enemies, but close enough.

He's critiquing their unrealistic ability to get around security and I translated one of the bullet comments to "the bodyguards also ship it" haha.

Xiaolu is not homophobic 💪💪💪 he says "the filmmakers are underestimating how majority of people don't care about someone being gay" and like tbh this is just repeating history with Heartstopper and Love, Simon -- all these gay books get adapted 5 years after release and then the Climate of Homophobia and Queerness is just not the same but the filmmakers don't change it because it's integral to the plot and so they come off as awkward.

top comment agrees with xiaolu's final assessment (dismissive) but follows: "But if it can add the son of the Russian president, the son of the French president, and a mysterious boy from the big eastern country as the second part, I will call it a masterpiece." First reply is "Hetalia" and I can't tell if the countries were chosen in reference to a Hetalia poly ship or just random. tbh I like the vibes of the chosen countries tho hahaha.

[applbottmjeens]

Phillip asks Belle to meet his parents. Of course she's all "wtf commander we only went on ONE dinner together" and he's like "I lied to my parents about having a girlfriend to keep em off my back PLS" and he's actually pleading with her and she can't help but be amused seeing his stupid lil ego knocked down a peg so she's like "ight bet but not for free"

and basically she gets all pretty and meets his mom and dad and it's all nice and they're just pretending to be a couple- she's just pretending to like resting her head on his shoulder, and he's just pretending he's not relieved his mom loves her and THEYRE JUST PRETENDING HAHAHAHA

And then they both go home and she's like "well, if they ask about me again say we broke up" and he's all disappointed and is like "yeah haha...sure will"

God it's so trope-y

Phillip meeting HER parents would be completely different. Eldest and only daughter. Strict vietnamese dad and catholic filipino mom. They'll definitely be skeptical about the vague "boyfriend" (she would've asked Simon, but she figures it would be too much to ask for him to unmask) she's been talking about. Her 16 year old brother is there: He's trying so hard to be intimidating but he's got a bad case of baby face.

They ask him about his career. His income. His plans on fucking MARRIAGE. They grill him about Annabelle. It's fucking crazy how he eases by it. They eventually soften up by the end of it and Belle's mom, although unsure is clearly happy her daughter's boyfriend can "provide for her" (as IF- she'd never let him.)

She keeps trying to explain to the Captain and to her teammates that it's all "FAKE! HES PAYING ME! I DONT EVEN LIKE HIM" but everyone's not convinced at all

God I'm a sucker for stuff like this

(Literally begging someone to write something for me about these two-)

[light-wayland]

And while we're on the subject of Idris fucking up perfectly good kids, explain to me, please, how the fuck are Luke and Amatis still alive?

We're told that their mother abandoned them to become an Iron Sister (which, seriously, wtf). Then we're told that Amatis took care of Luke from that point on so it is rather safe to assume that there is no father in the picture. Amatis is 3 years older than Luke so it's unlikely she was old enough to be taking care of herself, let alone her brother. On top of that, unless I missed something, the students at the Academy live in the dorms so how could she take care of her brother?

I do not really see Idris offering any assistance to them at all so what did they live on? How did they get any money? Idris isn't located somewhere particularly warm so what did they do during the winter?

Luke's whole thing is that he was miserable at the Academy and that Valentine helped him get better at Shadowhunting, which okay, fine. But probably the only thing rich boy Valentine needed to do was feed Luke properly.

the lack of any logic timeline is the biggest problem to me. something happened to caleb graymark (their father) but what exactly was never specified

shadowhunters can start their academy education at 12-13 years old, and at the academy they're supposed to take care of themselves (when simon attends, there are young orphans), so from that moment amatis would only take care of him during summer vacation

before the academy, luke was friends with jocelyn, so the fairchilds probably helped them out and they probaby did get help from the clave like every shadowhunter does, but why they weren't send to adoptive parents is the real plot hole. their mother may have made some kind of deal, idk

at the academy the students used to have real food and they get it by themselves, luke didn't need help on that 😆 but i see how valentine was important for luke and how amatis would have been grateful for not being the only one besides jocelyn looking out for him anymore

another problem to me is that it's very difficult to figure out during which years the circle members attended the academy. amatis being 3 years older than luke is a problem if that meant she was late. robert being late is supposed to be something abnormal

edited to add: valentine became an orphan as a teenager and i don't recall any indication that he lived in a foster home after? haha

[prince-simon]

when i saw this!!! this is amazing hii!! I came here to send you a link for a tiktok but it won't let me attach links here 😕 So i left it in a comment under the last update of your prince simon fic because i cant stop screaming about it, i need you to see it 🙈 it's literally how i alwayysss imagine simon in your fic and how he would look in some official portraits with traditional princey clothes it is so PRINCE!!! SIMON!! I feel like you'd love it ❤️❤️ (this is Purplealligator from ao3 btw)

x

HELLO WTF i'm like. this close to sobbing. very good edit very good aaahhh thank you for sending it my way haha i will now think about this 24/7

[randomsmilingpotatoes]

2 x 02 commentary

- the principal must be getting so annoyed getting all those calls aha

- Simon has such a beautiful voice 🥺

- the money issue really plays into everything damn

- omg sara wtf that’s so rude???? sorry they couldn’t afford a nicer pair??

- okay wille you don’t have to ignore Simon in PE like you can pass it to him😭

- oooh smarrttt to convince Vincent

- omg wille stop being so passive aggressive just sit there and let Simon have space please😭

- IT IS MALIN FORCING HIM NO😭😭 doing her job but still😭😭

- the symbolism of the snow globe breaking omg:(

- “at least you don’t have to be crown prince”:/

- okay that’s an interesting take to say that they’re okay with it if he keeps it private til an adult and it’s on his own terms. that doesn’t change the way everything else is though, and the thing is, it wasn’t on his terms and it never will be . I think that would’ve been okay if he didn’t already have to deny the video but it’s not a normal coming out situation now

- he should see a therapist though I do agree with that

- Simon went to the principal?? wow I was wondering what he was doing, he has a huge heart

- I’m ngl tho wille would be an annoying ex I’m sorry HAHAH it’s feeling real

- okay pls tell simon the whole truth

- wille you CANT just expect Simon to go back to you like that

- GOOD SIMON. such a mature way to look at it

- don’t tell me sara is going to go try sleep with august

- omg the phone. can she do much with that information tho? like she can tell august but he can’t tell anyone- I guess he’d treat felice like shit though:/

- awe smelling the jumper and looking at the fish🥺 and wearing the jumper omg

- I love that Simon is expressing his feelings through song this season, he’s so lovely to listen to and it also gives him an outlet without someone else constantly sharing their own opinion

- the symbolism of taking the jumper off and feeling freer 🥹 this is what he needs rn

- the way he’s looking around Marcus’s place exactly like wille did to his, calling it cozy and everything 😭

- omg SIMON that was smooth

- okay that’s so sweet but I feel like Simon DID kinda want to fuck lmao. this is why you don’t use people as a rebound, Marcus’s feelings are gonna get hurt 🥴

- SARA WHY IS AUGUST MORE IMPORTANT TO YOU THAN YOUR FRIENDSHIP WITH FELICE EVEN

- and now they’re gonna fuck? ugh

- okay that was a WEIRD experience for him lmaoo

- wille please just make the most of the situation . Like even if he never talks about the video he should talk about Erik.

- the anxiety pamphlet!! yes!!! this is what he needs🥺

- awe come onnn not MARCUS at whatever they’re doing to distract wille😭 poor wille

- this does not feel safe having wille shoot things when his ex’s new guy is there asdfgh

- you cant blame Marcus though like he’s just vibing, he didn’t even seem to know who wille was so I feel like he doesn’t even know about the video and Simon

- yesss !!!! august is OUT of prefect positionnn

- the little smile HAHA

- damn I didn’t even think about how felice quitting would affect sara too. too bad , good on felice for quitting!!!

- okay as much as I hate august he was much better at being team captain than Vincent will be💀 that’s so mean to valter what

- cheating?? hmmmmm. For simons sake I’ll accept it but idk

- ITS THE SAME SONG FROM SEASON ONE

- “do you know him?” WILLE you know DAMN well

- hmm we will see what is happening with the Queen and august hmm

- DONT SNOOP

[purinclover]

10, 11 and 14 :3

- jils-things!

@jils-things

HIII ☆☆ this went longer than i thought so im putting it under the cut ww

10. how do the other characters feel about your self insert and f/o’s relationship?

i feel like most of the 141 don't know until they get the wedding invitations... everyones like Wtf we saw both of you beat each other to near death in the ring last night and mirage and ghost just go "yeah lol that was fun haha. just a little engagement wrestling." i think that reaction wise though its mainly a lot of ribbing about the two of them being together

11. what kind of outfit(s) does your self insert wear?

OKAY THIS DEPENDS ON OG/REBOOT. and also whether she's on base/in gear or not. og mirage, when on base and off duty or the other way around she dresses like a 12 yr old boy. when off duty and off base she dresses sort of like alex russo in wizards of waverly place. (as was stylish back then) its a very thin line between these and literally her walking around in minecraft boxers and a hoodie that smells like weed and simon's cologne.

as for reboot mirage she's a lot more modern... or trendy i guess. on base, she usually wears very casual clothes and more masc-leaning clothes -- a military base full of testosterone fueled men is not the place she loves to wear skirts. off base off duty, she's a lot more girly -- she's a true jirai onna who just doesn't really have the opportunity to dress how she wants. she's also very much the high femme in the relationship.

14. what hobbies does your self insert have?

og mirage is probably just... exclusively into hacking. she doesn't have much to do other than that. she likes playing shoddy old video games too though. reboot mirage likes the internet and social media more than video games but she can be convinced to game very easily, she just has a different preference for games to play. they also both like sewing !!

[dean-winchester-pussy]

just finished watching 2x05 and 2x06. "simon said" just dived into sam suffering through his visions :( i feel so bad for him for having to see so many people die via his visions. go jo for hustling that guy lmaooo. love ash's "dr. badass" sign. and he only answered to "dr. badass" gjkrhgkjrsejr. oh hey sam has that cast, that means he's gonna be getting drunk and telling dean that he's bossy and short soon. JO PUTTING ON "CAN'T FIGHT THIS FEELING" KJGFJK HELLO. "you're afraid of my mother?" "i think so". DEAN SINGING 🥺🥺🥺🥺. why do they think the song is cringe tho tf that song is great. i agree with dean, that van is cool af. NO YOU CAN'T HAVE THE IMPALA... NO. BRO. he didn't seem so bad until he's stealing the impala. nuh uh my guy that's a no-no. he comes into that place with his sleeves looking too long tryna pathetic little meow meow his way around. "you know, one day I'd love to just sit down and eat something I didn't have to microwave at a mini mart." i want to cook him a meal so badly. starting to think andy isn't the one making people kill themselves in crazy ways. i mean wtf would his motive for killing these random people? AHA so we know it wasn't him now, because the fire truck went by and they were with andy and he obviously didn't call anyone while he was with them. yeah he's got an evil twin. man why's it gotta be that guy, that guy was pretty. why is he killing everyone that has a connection with andy??? a possessive evil twin, lovely. okay i see what he means about being split up and shit but that doesn't mean you kill people!!!

"no exit" starting with sludge coming from the wall and an eye looking through a socket, gross. "take it, it won't bite" "no, but your mom might" kjgngkjgkdfk. HAHA PULLING THE FAKE RELATIONSHIP WITH DEAN... jo and dean whispering furiously at each other while dean's on the phone with ellen lmao. ellen calling dean honey... [dies]. dean doesn't want to be here hunting :( how tf is the ghost fitting whole ass people through the vent like that. ah yes there's dean sleeping in the gay position ash was sleeping on the pool table in 2x02. "morning princess :)" loving jo more and more. "and get this" sam's line but i will accept it from jo because she can do anything. why can dean recognize the scent of chloroform. WHY CAN HE RECOGNIZE IT. JOHN WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO. OH FUCK I FORGOT THAT JOHN'S THE REASON JO'S DAD WAS KILLED. FUUUUCK. ellen is gonna kill dean if she finds out they used jo as bait. jo and sam sharing looks in the backseat like the two younger siblings when their mom is pissed off at the oldest. "like father like sons" no!!! sam and dean are not like john!!!

[savannaswrites]

on tlh — i agree completely! i did read gotsm and loved that version of james and matthew way more i felt like neither of them really had an in-depth personality in tlh? but just in general i think the versions of the tlh characters in all the short stories and extra content are much more compelling. with characters like anna and ariadne too, but especially james. there was those hints of tragedy that were never quite fulfilled, but also so much fascinating mysteries that tlh doesn’t delve too deep into. don’t know if you’ve read the shadowhunter academy, but his and matthew’s characterization in nothing but shadows was my favourite, whereas in tlh i struggled to understand who james even was at all (more sensitive herondale? will and jem combined? is what i think he was meant to come across as but it didn’t quite work for me) and the potential of james and matthew as parabatai set up in that story was sort of lost.

i also can’t stand their love triangle with cordelia it was tired lol, although to be fair that’s because i kept holding out hope that she’d make matthew unrequitedly in love with james or with both james and cordelia to parallel tda haha. not to start ranting about tlh but i do agree that i wish james and lucie (and matthew since it’s set up in the first two that he likes staying in the downworld) could have interacted more with downworlders since they are technically part warlock. anyways!! yes the lore and downworlder/shadowhunters politics and relationships with the main five (six counting ghost livvy, or seven counting ash) that you set up in fearful symmetry were definitely what got me so excited. i also really loved thule livvy coming back and saying she’d only talk to ty, and then the next chapter we finally got to see ty, and his narration was perfect. omg i’m sorry i wrote so much again. thank u for replying <3 — fs anon

ah, i'm so sorry it's taken me a gazillion years to respond to your message! i read it and was like, i have GOT to finish chot before i write back so i can know what's going on, and -

it did take me forever, i'll admit. that book was a SLOG. also, i am so sorry!! i called that book i was thinking of gotsm, but you are ABSOLUTELY right, it was tftsa that i was thinking of!! i read those two back to back and tbh really thoroughly enjoyed the short story format, although i will admit to being like. frankly quite confused. because if i remember correctly i hadn't gotten around to reading books 4, 5, and 6 of tmi yet, but i had read the emma and julian books, so i was like wtf...simon is alive again?? a;sdkfj

but back to the point: you are 1000% correct, that wonky love triangle in tlh was UNSATISFYING. actually, to be totally, brutally honest, i sort of felt that whole trilogy was wildly unsatisfying. you know?? like, we spend SO much time on this love triangle that just fizzles out without really forcing any of the characters into that crucible that i loved in tmi or tid, so it's like...they don't even emerge changed from this experience?

i would have lOVED it if matthew had been in unrequited love with james. after tftsa, i was like [eyeball emoji] in the hopes that that could be the dynamic, but of course, no such luck...do you think maybe cc just thought that would be too similar to the jace & alec dynamic from all the way back in tmi? because like yes, alec did think he was in jace, but i sort of feel like those books took pains to clarify that he was maybe projecting on him a bit, and that he wasn't truly in love with him the way tessa and jem and will were in love with each other. so this would still have been different, u know? and it would have contrasted so INTERESTINGLY to emma and julian being at the center of that series, i think!

but also, what TERRIBLE villains tlh had. not only were they not intimidating or even very interesting, but the power scaling in the books to me just completely undermines the stakes in twp books before they've even started. this fallen angel is ancient and powerful, but will banter with teenagers and leave them alone to scheme in his stolen realm for no particular reason? and that whole thing with cordelia and cortana...like...i loved emma getting that weapon, but we SEE her train CONSTANTLY. wanting to fight is part of who she is! with these books, it's like their being meant to hunt demons was just so much set dressing for a story that's not quite as interesting as it thinks it was. maybe that's too mean to say??

i just feel like, okay. you have TEN heroes, every single one of whom gets scenes from their own point of view, and the idea is that that won't cause pacing problems?? hELLO. when the narration has to stop and start over and over and over again to tell us exactly how a character is feeling when we could just as well have surmised that from a more focalized narrator just made these books sooo much work.

also i'm so sorry you were like 'not to start ranting about tlh' and that's IMMEDIATELY what i did, but please do let me know what you think because i've been mulling this over since i finished the book and i just??? you know??

[eleanorandjasper]

I starting rewatching season 1 because I'm a masochist so keep me in your thoughts