#xe is NOT used to physical affection

[theamalgaverse]

bacuri is so so SO cool, i just wanna *makes grabby hands* y'know? wan hug.... :O - Paper'd Calls Favourites /j

Hug… accepted?

[fonksfvcks]

id be like slightly scared of letting idia eat me out because of his teeth like what if he bites me i dont wanna bleed when it aint shark week 😨

ahem, if you dont mind im gonna shift from idia to vil because i also stan that queen

what do you think vil's sex is like and his aftercare (hes probably really good with aftercare)

-idia simp anon but my signoff is now gonna be 🌹

also! if yr wondin i use xe/them, im agender :)

LMAO, i think idia would be hyper aware of it and even more anxious than you about it. i'd let him devour my pussy >:)

as far as vil?

i know this man gives the best hugs after he's done wrecking you. you'll be a mess, drool, tears, makeup smeared, lips puffy and swollen from biting at them, and he'll just hug you while you cry on his shoulder, trying to come down, and you'll instantly begin to feel whole again.

vil is the type to break you until you're feeling like nothing, and he would happily piece you back together. you know kintsugi where they take broken pottery and repair it and accentuate the old broken pieces with gold? he's the type to do that to you but physically and emotionally.

vil is so sweet, and i imagine he needs the aftercare just as much as you do. DOMS AND TOPS NEED AFTERCARE TOO. everything he does for you, he does for himself too. seeing you smile and cuddle into him while he gently wipes your face with a cloth to clean you up makes his heart melt, and he finds himself healing from going so rough on you. you're reassuring him just as much as he is you.

he's the type of man to clean you extensively, to pamper you, and rub your body with expensive lotions and oils after a bath, massaging your sore muscles and making you feel better.

he'll ask if you need anything, and regardless of your answer, he insists on a snack and water for both of you.

overall, i love vil, and vil would love you hard. every bit of his affection for you is in his touches, and he makes that very clear. he'd have a talk with you beforehand about your favorite aftercare, and do anything it takes to make sure you get exactly what you need.

also, i'm sorry this has been sitting in my inbox for so long, i hope you still love me, hehe

[interstellarsystem]

Disorder Differences in Systemmates

Systemmates share the same brain, which often leads to the assumption that they're all affected the same by the brain itself. Its wiring, its abilities, and its disabilities. But symptom holders or those with intra-disorders are fairly common--at least in circles we run in--and they're not often talked about for fear of fakeclaiming or appearing ableist. We have headmates who are affected in all sorts of different ways by our disabilities. Some find things harder than others, while others actually find some tasks or symptoms easier to manage. It absolutely varies from headmate to headmate, which makes certain headmates better suited for fronting during certain times than others.

Merlin is more affected by our psychosis, particularly hallucinations, and xe tends to be more susceptible to paranoia. Mystery is a psychosis holder too, and has more positive symptoms like hallucinations than the rest of us, but is less affected negatively by it. It often hallucinates and falls into delusional thinking, but it's not really too bothered by it. So Mystery is a good choice for someone to front when we're having a psychotic episode. Sometimes, having Merlin cofront with Mystery makes it easier for Merlin to not be so susceptible to xyr symptoms.

I (Martin) have more obvious anxiety than the rest of us, and struggle much more in social situations. I'm much better at hyperfocusing on tasks, though. So I'm better suited for staying home and working on whatever the current project we have at the time, or keeping our to-do lists in check. Vince on the other hand is calm in most social situations that are more professional--so he's good for business meetings and such. In more casual conversation though, Vena and Merlin are much better at it and better suited to non-professional social groups.

Vince is an intra-NPD holder and also holds stronger symptoms of our BPD. He struggles immensely with percieved rejection, much more than the rest of us. But he also almost completely lacks empathy, which makes it much easier for him to be calm and logical in stressful situations. He finds it easier to help friends and those he cares about during stressful times because he's not weighed down by feeling their emotions--whereas the rest of us might break down from stress.

We talk a bit about mental disability differences in headmates more than those who differ physically. Somehow it seems more controvertial to mention that we have headmates that differ with physical symptoms while even in safe system spaces. It seems like most people (us somewhat included) mainly think of symptom holders as a mental disorder thing--a line of thinking we're trying to dispel. Headmates can have different disabilities and symptoms of all kinds, and it's not ableist or "harmful" to know that and speak about it. Headmates with different conditions to the body need to be recognised more.

Mike needed a cane in his memories and he absolutely needs our cane when he fronts more than the rest of us. He feels more at home and like himself having a cane by his side here, though, so it's good we already had one. I (Martin) need it more too--my joints are just more prone to pain. But our cane folds up nicely into our bag, so if we switch out in public, it's always with us just in case. Even if it's silly, we feel safer having a cane too--I mean, it's a metal pole. We're out as trans and clearly not your Regular Society Member, so it provides some feeling of safety to have.

Jayfeather was blind before, and since coming here he sure can see now, but he's much more light sensitive than the rest of us. The feeling of being able to see was nice at first, even if it was foreign, but sometimes he feels it's not worth the hassle. He needs to wear sunglasses when fronting because his eyes just end up hurting from even small amounts of light. Crowley is the same, except he wasn't blind in his memories--he just got used to always wearing sunglasses in his life to hide how his eyes looked, and needs them here now. They're both more prone to migraines due to this.

Merlin is more shaky on his feet than others who front often. His legs are digitigrade and in headspace he has his wings and tail to balance him there--but in the body, he doesn't have any of that. His legs are the wrong shape and he has no counterweight to his posture. Even with our cane, he's more prone to tripping than most.

Mystery was a godlike being that didn't need to eat human food, or any physical food at all. It often forgets that eating, sleeping and going to the bathroom are things the body needs to do, because it doesn't often feel the need to do them. That can be good if we're running low on food, or if we can't eat for a while such as before a medical procedure though, so it's useful in its own way. Mystery is also not used to using its hands for intricate things like tying shoelaces, as it's hands before we're longer, bigger, and mainly nonphysical. It didn't need to be intricate, so it's hard for it to do things others in here can.

There's so many more examples in our system. The thing is, there can be positives and negatives to any disorder, really--and headmates are no different with that. We don't necessarily assign headmates "roles" or "jobs" based on their symptoms or lack thereof, but for us to function better as a collective, people tend to gravitate toward doing certain things they know others can't. It's important for us to know how we differ with our disabilities, and work around them together as best we can.

Systemmates with different symptoms aren't uncommon, and they're not mocking disabled people, or lying for some benefit. I'd argue that for some systems with symptom holders or intra-disorder holders, it's increcibly important to know about how you differ and how to work together to be functional--whatever functional means for you.

[varteeny1234]

I LOVE THE CHERRY KINGDOM VERY MUCH! HERE IS A FAN FICTION :DDDD

Summary:

The more time passed, the more things Vintage noticed about Ruby that were different. It was beginning to freak her out, to be honest- and more than that, it was incredibly frustrating, not knowing what to do to help their wife and feeling thus helpless because of it! She- she loved Ruby. She loved xem so much, but felt utterly lost. Or Ruby isn't Ruby. Vintage wants to know why.

Warnings: There is one tiny non-graphic injury but I don't think there's anything else

Words: 4954

Ship: Sakura Spouses :3 (Rubyco/VintageApplesauce)

(full fic under cut)

The more time passed, the more things Vintage noticed about Ruby that were different. For one thing, they were much more stoic. They used to laugh at everything- now they only let out a quiet chuckle and even then that was rare! She showed less outward, physical affection than she used to. More notably, ze was obsessed with safety and OSSHA compliance, all the time. Vintage didn't remember the last time ze'd gone a day out of uniform. 

It was beginning to freak her out, to be honest. 

Ruby was also forgetting things that he shouldn't have been forgetting. Important conversations, plans for the Cherry kingdom, happy moments they'd shared together. Vintage would always remind fae about anything fae forgot, no problem... but faer memory was spotless when it came to business. It was like she was blocking out everything except OSSHA!

But Vintage still had no idea how to help hir. She could ask if anything was wrong, of course, but she had a sinking feeling that Ruby would either not answer or not even know itself. So, they were stuck. 

It was incredibly frustrating, not knowing what to do to help their wife and feeling thus helpless because of it! She- she loved Ruby. She loved xem so much, but felt utterly lost. 

They turned over in their side of the bed. Ruby was asleep next to them, like ze always was, softly snoring. Vintage's heart ached; when Ruby was asleep, it was as if everything was the same as it had been before. 

She could let herself pretend it was... just a little longer....

~~~~

Vintage had a plan now. 

A week had passed, and only yesterday, Vintage had had the final straw. Ruby was not Ruby. 

She'd seen them working on the handrails for the side of the island, and had decided to pop over and bother them a bit. Maybe somehow rope zir into cuddling- she was feeling a little clingy at the time. 

But when they had wrapped their arms around Ruby and happily murmured 'I love you' in eir ears, instead of returning it, Ruby had hummed and smiled before going right back to building. Vintage had been shell-shocked. As much as Ruby liked to build, it'd never been the type to turn down spending time with Vintage because of it! 

Her shock had been quickly replaced by some combination of emotions that felt bad. Really bad. They were mad, at first, but then had become immediately suspicious. Ruby had been acting so out-of-character compared to how xe normally was, for a while. Vintage had thought it was strange but had never considered that Ruby could have been changed against her will, or worse, replaced with a fake Ruby. That felt like something so outlandish that they'd never even considered it, but they'd had had enough of pretending like nothing was wrong with their partner!

She was going to get to the bottom of whatever had happened to them. 

But first, she needed to trap Ruby somewhere that ae couldn't run away and hide. 

If Vintage found a way to get aer somewhere they could question aer quickly, then it would go smoother than if they just randomly cornered aer. There were outlines of future buildings scattered around the top of the Cherry kingdom- but even if she broke the jump boost beacon, Ruby could cut through the woolen walls. The storage rooms were too open. 

The sewer systems were the chosen location. 

She'd put obsidian blocking off some of the exit paths, and flooded the tunnel even more than before. The vines and leaves on the walls and ceiling for at least two tunnels over (spanning all directions- Vintage was thorough) had been lowered just enough to make it almost impossible for anyone who was flying to get through, in case Ruby tried that. 

"Ruby!" Vintage's call echoed through the tunnels. They knew that Ruby had been hanging around nearby, so it would definitely have heard. Her heart was jittery in her chest, the anxiety threatening to take over, but Vintage kept her voice steady.  "Can you come down to the sewer system? I want to show you some new stuff I added!" 

Tucking a sword underneath her coat, just in case, she stood so that she was just visible behind the corner. All the water around had completely drenched her clothing and her wings. At least she hadn't been planning on flying anywhere.

As expected, Ruby responded soon after. "Vintage? Hello, which way did you go? It's harder to see with all the plants, is that what you added?" Splashing sounds in the distance gave away faer location. Come on, just a little closer! 

"Um- some of it! I want to get your opinion on the tunnel over here, though!" 

More splashing. Ruby was almost there, only one more corner left to turn... Vintage held their breath.

"Vintage? Oh, there you are! So, what was it you wanted to show me-" 

He was cut off as Vintage grabbed them by the wrists and threw him into the tunnel behind her. She drew her sword, and held it to Ruby's chest as she glared at xem. But unlike what they'd been expecting, Ruby's expression only showed confusion and panic- nothing to show that ze'd been hiding anything or that hir act was up. Vintage narrowed her eyes... Ruby had either managed to become exceptionally good at putting on an act, or there were more memory intricacies at play.

"Vintage, what are you doing? Did you want to show me something? Why do you have a sword?" Exclaimed Ruby. Ze put zir hands up in alarm. "Did I do something?"

Vintage took another step closer. "Yes, you did. You're not Ruby at all- at least, you're not the Ruby that I know. You're not my wife," she spat. "What happened to aer? Were you once my Ruby, and aren't anymore? Or were you never her at all?!" They stopped. They gasped; they'd forgotten to breathe. Hot, wet tears ran down her cheeks. 

"What do you know? Who are you?" The tip of the sword cut through Ruby's crisp blue shirt, and blood began to show through it. The same shirt that Vintage had lovingly sewn for them, back when she still knew who they were. Ruby wasn't even wearing zir clock anymore, keeping it hidden away somewhere Vintage didn't know rather than hanging around zir neck like she had thought ze preferred. 

He was crying, too. Ruby hadn't moved- except for eyes wider than Vintage had ever seen and shaky shoulders. Its hands were still raised, and she could hear its panicky breathing. 

"I- I..." She stuttered. Vintage moved forwards. 

"Tell me."

A guilty glance to the ground. "I don't know!" Ey cried. "I'm Ruby!"

Vintage frowned. "But you're not, though. I know Ruby, and you're not the same person- right now, anyway."

"I'm Ruby, and you're Vintage! That's what I remember. That is all that I know. Am I someone else? Am I not Ruby?" Their voice broke. "I don't want to not be Ruby!" 

"Then why have you taken faer place? Were your memories altered, or something? All this OSSHA business has changed you, and I don't like it! I need to know where my Ruby went!" Vintage stomped her foot, the sound of both the splash of the water and the yell she let out echoing faintly through the tunnel. 

Ruby fell to xyr knees. 

"We need to stay compliant. It's important!"

"Not so important that you completely change everything about yourself! I work there too, and even I am completely in the dark! Something happened to you, something that I don't know! Please, I just want Ruby back!" 

"But I am Ruby! I- I have to be! There's no one else I could be! Why don't you believe me?" 

"Because you act like a totally different person!" 

 "I am only doing what I have to do, to keep everyone safe. Why is that so bad?" She sniffed. 

Vintage thought her heart had already been broken, but it felt like it was shattering into even smaller pieces. "All of the little things that make Ruby Ruby are disappearing before my eyes. You've been ignoring me in favor of making your bridges safer, or whatever. It's like OSSHA is the only thing that matters to you anymore." 

"But... it does matter! We have to keep everyone out of the void, it's too dangerous!" 

Whatever Vintage was about to say next died on their tongue. 

Keep people out of the void? That wasn't the mission when they signed up. Had something changed when she wasn't looking?

More, that is, than Ruby hirself? 

Last she'd heard, they were just trying to keep people from dying because dying was inconvenient. Although, others had been saying that the void needed to be fed. Even then, there was still nothing actually dangerous about falling into the void! What was Ruby on about?

She let her sword fall to her side. She held out a hand to Ruby, who looked up through teary eyes like Vintage had gone mad. 

"We're going to OSSHA. If it's that organization that did this, then I'll find some answers there. You clearly know about as much as I do, but I still don't fully trust you, so you're coming along with me," they explained. Secretly, they were wishing that they'd gone a little bit easier on the leaves.

~~~~

Ruby, surprisingly, didn't argue or complain. Xe was willing to just fly along with Vintage the short distance to the OSSHA building. Of course, Vintage was watching xem closely to make sure that xe didn't try and escape, but they both made it to their destination without any trouble at all. The small injury on xyr chest had taken only a moment to patch up.

"Alright, Ruby." Vintage landed near the building entrance. "I'm going to go and look around for anything weird, you stay by me but I guess it wouldn't hurt to let you poke around too. Just... don't leave. Alright?" 

Ruby nodded. 

"Okay."

Vintage led Ruby through the queue and up to the second level, and then began to rifle through drawers and chests. She found a lot of random loose papers, fines, and the OSSHA violation severity manual, but nothing at all related to the void other than falling there kills you. Digging up some of the floorboards only revealed a lot of dust and even more blank papers. 

She tried looking closer at things. Context clues, reading between the lines. But still, they weren't able to see anything suspicious. 

Eventually, there came a soft sound from behind her, the creak of the wooden floor underneath someone's footsteps. 

Turning around, they were met with a still teary-eyed Ruby, but now with a more haunted look. 

"Ruby? Did you find something?" 

Ae shook aer head. Vintage huffed in frustration. There wasn't anything here of use. She'd come so close to discovering something big, she knew it, but it was hidden too well. 

"I didn't either. I don't think it's inside this building. Let's try and look somewhere else... maybe it's in the space station?" When Ruby didn't answer, she gently grabbed their hand to lead them back out of the building. If there wasn't anything in here, then there wasn't much point in staying longer than necessary. There was a timer ticking somewhere, and when it ran out, Vintage might lose Ruby forever. 

Once the two of them went outside, Vintage was only a little startled by how much time had passed. While they'd been searching the building, the sun had nearly set, and the sky was dark. 

A faint glimmer of light from the pool of water next to the OSSHA building caught their eye, just before they flew away.

Without any hesitation, Vintage ran over. There was definitely something in the water- it looked like a tunnel that led down to a place inside the body of the island. More than that, it looked red. 

This... this was definitely what she was looking for. 

Stepping to the edge of the pool, they looked at Ruby. Fae appeared much more uncomfortable than before. 

"Ruby? What's wrong? You're coming down here with me," said Vintage. 

Ruby shook faer head. "I don't think I should. H-" Ze cut hirself off. "I shouldn't, I'm not supposed to go down there."

"You should, though. I still need to keep you within my sights, and even if you're scared, this is important. You don't know why you're here? Well, we're about to find out. Come on, let's go." Vintage splashed into the water- she really couldn't avoid getting in water today! Luckily, Ruby followed, albeit with some hesitance in their actions. 

Vintage swam through the gap. 

She turned around, and what she saw sent a wave of nausea directly through her gut. 

There, just in the corner, were three stasis chambers, glass containers filled with liquid. And inside one of them was Ruby. The real Ruby, the one that Vintage loved. The Ruby that they missed so much... 

The tears came back as she stumbled over to her. As Ruby was floating there, she looked almost peaceful, even with that awful-looking mask over her face. But he'd been trapped there against his will, most definitely. Vintage steeled herself, grabbing her sword again. She pushed the thoughts of she guessed right Ruby was a fake ae's not her wife KILL AE as far into the back of her mind as she could. They could deal with that later, the real Ruby needed their help now.

She swung her sword against the glass, making a horrible clanging noise that echoed throughout the tiny room. The glass didn't crack, but it looked like it scratched, even if it was just a little bit. 

If it could scratch, it could shatter. 

Vintage swung again. 

And again.

And again, and again, and again, until a spiderweb broke across the smooth transparent barrier and the liquid began to leak out. It sprayed everywhere, making a puddle on the floor. 

One more hit with the sword, and the glass broke away completely in a shower of tiny shards. Without the liquid there to keep vem suspended, ve fell forwards, limp, right into Vintage. 

By reflex, they dropped their sword to catch aer. Ruby was unconscious, of course. Vintage slowly set it down, and all but tore the mask off its face, letting it breathe properly for the first time in who knew how long. 

Ruby looked exactly the same as how xe'd been when they'd first started the Cherry kingdom together. Xe was wearing xyr colorful jacket, and xyr clock was around xyr neck- it was still ticking away. Vintage cried as they stroked Ruby's hair, moving the wet strands out of her face. Her head rested on their lap.

With the steady rise and fall of zir chest, she could almost pretend ze was just asleep.

"Ruby... Ruby, please, wake up! I need you, please wake up! I- I found you! You're safe now! Please!" She begged. 

Ze didn't respond. Ze didn't even move. 

Vintage held Ruby's unconscious body to her chest, sobbing. Whoever did this to him took his glasses, too, she thought absentmindedly. 

She didn't know how long she'd sat there crying, but eventually Ruby- Fake-Ruby? Clone-Ruby? Whoever fae were, came over and kneeled down next to them both. Vintage sniffed, wiping her face, still cradling Ruby's head. 

"I'm not the real Ruby, after all... am I?" Fake-Ruby whispered. "You were right- you were right all along, I'm just something someone made to keep you distracted, so you didn't notice the real one was missing. But I failed at that- I wasn't good enough to stop you!" 

"What? No, you-" Vintage stopped. Fake-Ruby was, technically, correct- she had only been made, originally, to take the place of Ruby. They couldn't say that that wasn't true, even if it was an awful reality. Just that simple fact alone made the angry side of Vintage want to kill vem, even though based on all current evidence, ve'd never known the truth either. She was not going to kill Fake-Ruby! She tried again, taking a deep breath. "Even if you didn't fulfill your original job, that doesn't mean you're automatically a failure." 

"But I was never supposed to be anything other than a replacement. Look at me!" Ae gestured to aerself. "I'm- I look exactly like Ruby. The real Ruby. Hell, I have most of hir recent memories, too. All I knew was that I was Ruby! But if I'm not Ruby after all, then who am I? There's nobody else for me to be!" 

Since Vintage didn't know how she could possibly respond to that, they both fell into a tense silence. Fake-Ruby was sniffling, and xyr shoulders were shaking. Vintage herself was crying again. In their arms, Ruby still hadn't woken up yet, but was, at least, steadily breathing. It was just the three of them, sitting in a red room beneath a pool together. 

"You said I was like a different person than Ruby. But now, I don't feel like a different person or Ruby..." Fake-Ruby's talking to themself faded into the background.

What would they even do, once Ruby woke up and they were able to get out of here? The Cherry Kingdom wasn't far away, but adjusting to a new permanent inhabitant (and a clone of Ruby, at that) would be difficult- not impossible, but difficult. Not to mention that Fake-Ruby would have to re-introduce themself to everyone else...

A quiet noise interrupted Vintage's train of thought. They gasped, their gaze instantly snapping over to Ruby, whose eyelids were now fluttering open and shut. 

"Ruby!" They exclaimed. When Ruby flinched, they lowered their voice. "Oh, Ruby... you're awake! It's all going to be okay, I've got you now. You're going to be okay. It'll all be okay." They whispered. She didn't know if she said the last line more for Ruby or for herself. 

"...Vintage?" Ruby croaked. It was obvious ve hadn't used ver voice in a long time, the sound was raspy and hollow. But it was still Ruby's voice. "What happened to me?" 

"You were trapped in a secret room inside OSSHA. I don't know how long it's been, but if I had to guess I'd say weeks. Whoever did this to you made a clone of you, to take your place. I'm so, so sorry I didn't find you sooner..." She helped her to sit up.

"A... a clone? Like, a copy?" He asked. He blinked, looking around. "I don't have my glasses, everything's all blurry... but is that them?" Ruby gestured towards Fake-Ruby, who flinched but nodded. 

"Yeah. That's me... I'm Ruby. Well, I was supposed to be, anyways." Ze hung zir head. "I'm sorry."

Ruby looked confused. "What? Why are you apologizing?"

Both Rubies looked confused. Fake-Ruby sounded like she'd accepted some sort of dreadful fate. "I'm a clone of you! I was living in your place for weeks! I'm the only reason no one noticed that you had disappeared!"

"Huh? But none of that was your fault! You still don't have to apologize for anything- well, did you know I was missing? Or that you were a clone?" Vintage's heart suddenly filled with love. She knew where Ruby was going with this.

"Um, no. Why?" 

"So to your knowledge, during all that time, you thought you were just me. You didn't do anything to hurt anyone- including me, might I add- on purpose, so you're fine!" Fae coughed; Vintage rubbed faer back, fae giving her another grateful smile and leaning into her chest.

Unfortunately, Fake-Ruby still looked sad. "But aren't you, like, upset that someone who's you but also not you took over your life? You should be furious at me!"

"I'm not."

"I'm- I don't understand... and what about the fact that there's now two of you? Two Rubies? We look so similar, even if you aren't mad at me, I'm bound to cause more chaos! We look like the exact same person- we practically are the exact same person!"

"I have no idea how similar you actually look to me, but if Vintage could figure it out, we're definitely not the same person. Even a slight difference is still a difference."

Fake-Ruby (they really should think of something else to call him) sobbed into his hands. Vintage couldn't help but start crying again, too. Ruby pulled both of them into a hug. "It's been a hell of a night for me, I can't imagine what you both have been through. I mean, there's still more stuff we need to do, like talk to- wait a second, did you guys forget about that other tube? There's someone in there, but I can't see who."

Vintage's head snapped up from where it had been tucked into their shoulder. "Oh no, we forgot about Trog!" She gasped.

Yeah. As soon as she saw Ruby suspended in that damn tube, she'd forgotten that there was somebody else also trapped. The third tube was broken already, at least?

"I'll get them." Fake-Ruby stood up, taking Vintage's sword that she'd left lying on the ground, and after a few seconds was able to break the glass keeping Trog in place. Ze dragged them over to the group, after cutting off the cables to their mask. Ze sat down again, next to Ruby this time.

"Thanks." Vintage smiled. Xe gave a slightly awkward smile back- it was still a smile! Yay, progress!

Ruby started coughing again, but fae recovered quicker this time. "So... do we just wait here for Trog to wake up, and then all four of us go back to Cherry to figure stuff out? Vintage, I'm assuming you had at least some sort of plan?"

She blushed. "Well... technically, the plan was 'find out what happened to Ruby and then fix it,' even if I didn't expect Trog to be here... yeah, that should work still- are you good with that?" She asked Fake-Ruby. 

Ae nodded. "I don't mind. If I'm honest, I'm glad you're bringing me back to Cherry at all."

"We told you, we hold nothing against you. You might have to have one or two more uncomfortable conversations about... well, your existence, but we're not kicking you out!" Ruby declared. Vintage nodded enthusiastically.

"You can stay as long as you want to! As far as we're concerned, we just have a third island partner now!"

"You mean it?" Fake-Ruby murmured. 

"Of course! Although..." Ruby frowned.

Fake-Ruby looked scared. "What? Is something wrong?" 

Quickly, Ruby backtracked, shaking hir head. "No, no, I was just thinking- you should have a name!" Ze exclaimed. At Fake-Ruby's blank look, ze elaborated. "I mean, up until, like, very recently, you thought you were me, so everyone just called you Ruby. But I'm Ruby, and you're someone else, so you should have your own name!"

Realization dawned on xyr face. "My... my own name?"

"Yeah! Well, I suppose that if it was important to you, you could still be called Ruby too, but I thought it might be nice for you to pick something different. Choose your own identity... I don't know. Would you like that?"

Fake-Ruby (they REALLY, REALLY needed to find something else to call her, as evidenced by this conversation) was silent. 

Vintage decided to chime in. "You don't have to pick anything right away- and if you change your mind later, that's always fine too! But I agree, you deserve to choose the name that you want to have." She grinned. 

"...I think I will. Eventually. I want to think about it," they finally replied. "After we go back, and-"

"Mmmmh? Wha's going on?" 

"TROG! You're awake!" All three of them spun around to see Trog, who had rolled over onto their side and was covering their ears. Their eyes were open just a peek, but their triangle-shaped pupils were clearly visible. 

"Oh, sorry!" Vintage held out her hand. "Do you know what happened to you?" 

They blinked. "Um. No. Sorry."

Ruby opened ver mouth to explain, but Vintage spoke first. "You got stuck in a weird glass tube underneath OSSHA, and I think there's a clone of you running loose around the server- I only just realized, there's a Trog clone too- we're going to go back to Cherry kingdom, and sort out what exactly happened to you guys, and I don't think you have a choice in coming along with us, actually."

Trog stared at her for a few seconds. "I think that's fine. I- why not, I'll come along. Are we going now?"

"Do you think you can walk? We're definitely not flying back, Ruby doesn't have her glasses right now. Original Ruby, that is." 

"I might need help, but if you give me a minute, I'll be fine," they waved a hand. They squeezed some of the tube-water out of their sleeve. "Do you have an extra pair of glasses back in your house?"

"There should be some somewhere."

"That's good. We like it when Ruby can see stuff." They laughed. 

Ruby laughed too. "Hey, I saw you before either of these two-" he gestured to Fake-Ruby and Vintage "-remembered that you were here too. Even if I couldn't actually tell it was you, but we don't talk about that part." 

Trog snorted. "Right," they said. They sneezed, cutting off whatever they were going to say next. After a second, they continued. "I can probably walk now, if we go slowly. Let's get the hell out of here. Other-Ruby, could you give me a hand?" 

It nodded, moving to help Trog to their feet. They slung an arm around its shoulders, and coughed twice once they were fully upright, but they didn't say anything. Vintage did the same for Ruby, and they took it in turns to climb out of the room, through the pool of water, and eventually they were all standing on the bridge. 

They started the walk back to Cherry. It was the middle of the night, but no phantoms had appeared yet, thankfully. The long path looked almost daunting, but it was one of the safest that existed so far- Vintage had already decided in her head that even if Trog wanted to go back to Acacia, they weren't allowed to yet, since their bridges were too dangerous for someone with poor coordination and especially during the night.

Soon, they were almost at their destination. Trog then stumbled, almost falling over and breaking into a coughing fit. Fake-Ruby caught them, helping them to sit down on the ground. "You should rest for a moment. You seemed much too eager to leave, even though you're still recovering." Vintage and Ruby sat down across from them; Vintage agreed with Fake-Ruby that stopping for a little bit could only help them.

 "Ugh," they groaned. "Fine, I'll take a breather. Thanks, Other-Ruby."

"Spinel," xe whispered- xyr voice was much quieter than it had been only a moment ago.

"Huh?" Vintage asked. "What's that?" She leaned forwards.

Fae clarified. "Spinel- that's what I want my name to be." 

"Oh! Sorry, thanks, Spinel," said Trog. 

Vintage raised her eyebrows in curiosity. She could feel Ruby tense up, a small amount. "Oh, that's great!" She exclaimed. "I'm happy for you! I'm glad you picked a name. Um... what exactly is it, though? What does it mean?" 

"It's a gemstone," responded Ruby. In the dim lighting of the bridge, she could see aer grinning softly.

Spinel (not Fake-Ruby anymore!) nodded. "It is. You now how I have some of Ruby's memories. One time, he did a lot of reading on different minerals and crystals and similar stuff... red spinel gemstones, specifically, look super similar to rubies, but they're actually really different!" They shrugged. "I, um... I thought that since I look a lot like Ruby, but aren't actually vem, I was like ver spinel gem. It felt right. Since I'm still connected to Ruby, and I still liked having a name that was also a type of gem." She bit her lip, shyly glancing away. 

Vintage smiled. "That's a good name. I like it! I think it suits you, Spinel," she said. 

"Thanks," he said. He visibly relaxed. 

A sniffling sound from Ruby had Vintage moving to worry over them, but the goofy happy-sad look on their face made her chuckle instead. "Aw, Ruby, are you crying?" She teased. 

"No," they said, covering their face. "I'm not crying. Of course not. Why would I be crying?"

Out of the corner of their eye, Vintage saw Trog facepalm, and Spinel trying to muffle zir laughter. "Because Spinel chose a name that means a lot to zem, that has a metaphor for your relationship to each other, showing that ze might look like you but ze's still zir own person, and you're proud and can't keep the emotions in?"

"I'm so-" sob "-happy for Spinel!" Ruby cried. "It chose a gemstone name and everything! This is a very emotional time."

Vintage hugged aer. "You're very sweet, Ruby," she murmured softly. "I'm so happy I have you back."

"I'm happy to be back! Being stuck in some sort of glass tube wasn't fun, even if I don't actually remember much of it."

Giggling, Vintage kissed xyr forehead. "Whoever did it won't ever do it again, if I have anything to say about it!" 

"Of course, of course," Ruby closed xyr eyes. "All shall fear the wrath of Vintage."

"Mhm." Vintage cupped xyr cheek, and xe nuzzled into their hand. 

"I love you," said Ruby. She whispered it in Vintage's ear, for only them to hear. 

"I love you too."

[our-neuroqueer-experience]

hello! this is the our-_-experience blog for anyone who falls under the neurogender umbrella! in case you were wondering, neuroqueer is a queer umbrella term which defines itself as including any gender/orientation identity/label which can only be described through a neurodiverse lens or is affected by one's neurodiversity in some way.

inspired by @our-queer-experience and @our-xenogender-experience

feel free to send your asks/post submissions about your own neuroqueer experiences :p

note: while i do allow vent posts and will tag accordingly, please pretty please don't send asks/submissions with graphic vents and/or personal information. all anon hate will immediately be deleted :p

tags: #experience post - a user-submitted (by ask or post submission) neuroqueer experience #admin's experience - my own neuroqueer experiences #not an experience post - off-topic post, could be reblogging another experience post blog or an admin announcement #vent post - exactly what it sounds like (note: all triggers in vent posts will be tagged in both the "#tw [trigger]" and "#[trigger]" formats)

see the tonetags i use and their meanings at this carrd

admin intro: hi! i'm ev! i'm the host of a pdid system in the process of getting a diagnosis. i use, he/they/it/xe pronouns (no preference as to which). i'm neurodivergent (autism, adhd, pdid) and physically disabled (hEDS, fibromyalgia).

(p.s. ive got no spoons and from the side note to the end basically paraphrased @our-boyflux-experience's intro post. hi!)

[butterflymarks]

stats / plots / muse

heyyy i'm gonna be real, this intro got chunky. BUT! that's bc i badly want to start writing and i had a lot of Ideas. i'm duha (xe/xem/xir), presenting my goth rat kiyeon with the ability fearsight. 🎈 under the cut, i hopefully explain what the hell his deal is. like this post if you'd like me to reach out for plots (d*sc*rd preferred im scared of getting sb'ed again)! i listed ideas at the end, but i'm also down to just start writing and go with chemistry if preferred. i AM crazed enough to write u a random starter if that's the vibe. ps. my other muse eunjae (aka the Cooler moon twin) is @999kintsugi, but she's on a sideblog, so i won't be able to follow back there unfortunately.

kiyeon, '98

it/its/he/him/his. you'll see me use them interchangeably but feel free to use Any pronouns for him on ur end yipeee

fearsight is the ability to induce potent feelings of fear, hysteria, panic, etc through psychological visions of the target's deepest fears. wherever applicable, their minds may project that fear onto kiyeon and they'll see him as a personification of their fears.

butterfly marks (minor passive "ability"): his skin is naturally covered in moving whorls of black, ink-like markings. they shift and gather into various shapes and patterns influenced by his moods or when he's using his ability, tending towards symmetric or radial patterns, sometimes resembling the patterns of a butterfly's wings.

???: he can't see his own reflection anymore. if he does try to look at himself, there's just Something else looking back. he's afraid of it.

his therapist says it's an extension of his main ability that has been stunted. in greater evolutions of fearsight, the metahuman could actually take the physical form of someone's fear.

isn't that something great to look forward to, The Therapist says, you'll grow into something More, but kiyeon just wants to know when he's going to grow into a skin that's bearable to live in at all ?

his fearsight is persistent & triggered by visible eye contact. it can work on other ppl through clear reflections, so he hasn't made meaningful contact with anyone in years tbh.

quiet, nervous, jumpy. probably looks scary bc of his markings but you might have heard him crying in the garden last night.

the journey so far:

lived with his older sister for a while, until he decided to leave about 2 years ago bc he felt guilty about burdening her.

uhhh fell into the serpents' circle shortly after, aka a petty villain group. was inadvertently "taken in" by them (see: he was too scared to leave), and now he's their part time publicity stunt kidnapping victim and part time videographer when they need "organic social media footage" of the crimes they're committing. they're trying to make it to the big leagues.

kiyeon is just there because one of them is apparently making him "a cure" for his eyes. it's been years since that promise now, but. you know. (see again: he is too scared to leave)

finally sought actual help and got into silver line 8 months ago. the research team thinks his markings are fascinating, they keep monitoring him and telling him to contact them if he ever feels "physical turmoil." like girl what??

(they're waiting for his power to evolve to allow him to actually physically transform)

(cw: themes of body dysmorphia) has a lot of feelings about his body and feeling distinctly grotesque and horrific. when you spent ur whole life getting ignored or being looked at in literal horror, how is ur sense of self & image supposed to survive unscathed. :|

anyway he's on a tenuous streak of stability atm. he even got a job at the animal shelter!! he's been substituting company with the animals for human connection because animals aren't affected by his eyes at least.

really a bit pathetic i won't lie. fucked up street cat rizz, if u will.

some connection / thread ideas:

here are some more Formal connections i'm looking for, let's figure smth out

a roommate...!!

he pokes around the places you're not supposed to. someone try to get into the 13th floor with him and then deal with the consequences.

i plan for his fearsight to evolve over time and become something more of a nightmare form, his true potential....wherein his body really does start to take on little characteristics of people's fears, humanoid or not. i think he has a long way to go to full transformations, but any muses who would like to encounter him on that path are welcome to hehe. just please know he'll probably have a breakdown on them afterwards. maybe your muse would be in the middle of one too (because kiyeon scared the daylights out of them yk) but that's a-ok! i love writing encounters where everything's a mess, so let's make them cry together 💢

someone he accidentally beamed with his fearsight before. now they're terrified of him, and he accidentally inherited some of their fears/phobias

he goes to group therapy sessions bc his therapist thinks it's good for him to have Human Contact, but mostly he's just quiet and never looks at anyone. maybe your muse is there too and they just start getting through their shit side by side ?

someone go to the movies with him. he loooves scary movies, he loves watching characters getting tormented by horrors and being like omg me too!!

eden is full of crazy powers so let's throw them in something crazy together !!? i crave high stakes threads

does anyone else feel less-than-human. does anyone else go out on walks in the middle of the night bc they feel like it's the only time they're "allowed" to be out (aka they can't endanger anyone). does anyone else want to be a little less alone on those walks.

fellow serpents 🐍 all kinds of dynamics. i'm thinking the serpents just basically try to cause unrest and chaos; maybe one time, your muse is supposed to be part of the incitement and kiyeon's supposed to get it all on camera .... except it goes wayward, and the others ditch them to throw them under the bus, so now they have to get away from the aeternals :\

anyone who's in that other villain group using the laundromat as a cover. maybe they're rivals with the serpents hehe ? or they cross paths in the villain business ?

be his first resident complaint

thank u for reading this far :people_hugging:

[the-sunshine-dims]

who do you think is big spoon and who is little spoon?

(kaleidoscope)

hmm- (debating pulling out a google presentation /j)

i think it obviously wouldn't always be true but i think Malitae would usually be the big spoon! because they give the vibes of- so used to not touching anyone that when xe realized they had someone around who didnt mind they got into the habit of being very casually physically affectionate, and xe just likes to tuck Q beneath their chin and hold them! good vibes of solid and real

and i think often Quixis would be nervous if they were the big spoon- how tight can you hold before it all crumbles beneath you fingertips? kinda vibe, just always so scared their affection will hurt M, but they still absolutely melt into M's hold, often tucking their hands against their chest- just incase and just leaning into M

[chomfoolery]

info about each oc under the cut ! (or just search their name in my blog :3)

* aster (he/xe/they) - my current pfp, half-elf theatre kid with a very complex relationship w physical touch and affection, one of the only good green men to ever exist, xe’d be holding the trans flag and the aroace flag

* radial (he/red) - my favourite regicidal little bitch, magical knives and intense anger galore, spiteful jester guy who killed the king and took over, red would have the transmasc flag, ace flag and gay flag

* bewilderment (he/him) - silly evil scientist guy, minecraft stray hybrid who has seen the horrors and will continue to see them, misses his beautiful husband fr, he’d have the transmasc flag and pan flag

* dorian (they/hy/ey) - oldest oc i still use, sheep hybrid who is like. the nicest guy ever forever, they never shut up and have never hurt anyone ever, ey’d have the aroace flag and the non-binary flag

* fletcher (he/chirp) - little bird boy!! nothing bad ever happens to him ever at all trust me bro :) chirp has no trauma and has never suffered in his life!! chirp’d have the trans flag

[nabbit-unmasked]

Hey! I am most likely one of the China placekins you've heard before. I reached out on Reddit but I'm pretty sure r/otherkin restricts new users or something. I was so excited to finally know of someone who is both a country AND objectum for another country!!

Excuse some awkwardness here and there. I just wanna rant about being countrykin. It's so awesome to meet you CAR!

I am personally objectum for the USA (she/xe/purr/it) and I introduced my bf to that as well (we're both otherkin.) We wish you and The Gambia the absolute best! The post with the hearts you made with her is my fave.

I have some very strong thoughts on the controversy of being countrykin/placekin, especially since I believe my alterhumanity originates from trauma (not copinglink though) and being China gives me so much strength, physical and mental, and the power inherent of being a giant physical and conceptual entity is so freeing.

It's one thing to be connected specifically to countries/concepts specifically connected to one brutal regime/etc., but as an Asian guy with Chinese descent, it just feels gross and even racist to an extent. I am so much more than my government. I am the mountains that touch the sky, the rivers of life that color the soil yellow, the love and hearts of a billion people, the endurance of a long history, the strength of my flora and fauna. Same with being the CAR. There will always be issues within a place that exists in our physical reality. But we are more than the sum of our parts.

I am just so glad to have another countrykin here. It feels really isolating sometimes. Especially when my kin has affected my identity so much, including my chosen name down to my favorite colors and how I choose to curate my room.

So I am here to say... Please. PLEASE talk, discuss, ramble, vent, rant more about being the CAR. You are awesome. I connect with it so much.

Love from China 🇨🇳 ❤ 🇨🇫

Hey! So, as it turns out, I didn't meet 2 China placekins, and it's just a coincidence that we've found each other twice on the expanse of the internet! You're the only one lol. Also, I do remember you from reddit :3

I've actually talked to Gold before and he mentioned you. He and said that you might have talked to me in the past, so I'm glad we could meet again! I was super excited when I saw you in my notes :)

Thank you so much for the kind words towards me and The Gambia!! We're doing well and appreciate your wishes :) I wish the same for you and the USA and whatever other objects/things you and Tank are loving on ^^

I feel the same way about the whole placekin controversy thing and I couldn't have said it better myself. While man-made things are important to mankind, we are so much more than that. My identity is not human and has nothing to do with being human. I am a place who's human aspects are ran by humans, but that is only one part of me. There are many, many non-human aspects that make me...me. All of my life and non-life share me, a nonhuman entity.

I will continue to speak for myself and other placekin: that's why I made this blog! I couldn't find any other (active) placekin accounts that spoke out about us. Our community was in the shadows and pretty much unknown to the world, so someone had to be a voice for us. Not to from egotistical, but this blog brought placekin together, educated others on who we are, and even allowed others to discover that they were placekin themselves. I'm here to tell the world that we're here.

Happy to meet with you again, China.

Much love 🇨🇫 ❤ 🇨🇳 /p

[roses-bah-garden]

Back with another duo! I'd really appreciate lvl4 packs for a Young Neil and Ramona Flowers (Scott Pilgrim Takes Off). thanks!

here you goooooo pookie! made these without looking at your simply plural so feel free to pick and choose traits here.

a new flower has blossomed! 🌹

young neil + ramona flowers ... [LVL 4 PACK]

══════════════════

name(s) ;; (young) neil, quentin, danny, ringo, spielberg

pronouns ;; he/him, they/them, she/her

age ;; 20

species ;; human

gender(s) ;; gender non-conforming, genderqueer

orientation(s) ;; straight, ambiamorous, fictoromantic

role(s) ;; socializer, brother figure, destressor

source ;; scott pilgrim takes off

sign-off(s) ;; —Young Neil, YN🎬

══════════════════

appearance ;; average height and lanky. light skin. shaggy light brown hair and large dark brown eyes. slightly baby faced. dresses casually, usually in a t-shirt and jeans. see below for pictures.

personality ;; friendly and silly. he doesn't really like taking the lead on conversations or decision making, but he loves to hang out with friends and listen to them talk. kind and a bit childish.

══════════════════

likes ;; action movies, superheros, comics, hearing others infodump, old video games

dislikes ;; alcohol, parental/authority figures

possible front triggers ;; his source, arcades

══════════════════

cisid(s) ;; cisADHD, only child, cisWhite, cisCanadian, cisscrunkly

transid(s) ;; transscreenwriter, digameaddict, transstoner, transbrother, transUSAmerican, transNewYorker

kink/fetish/para(s) ;; seniophilia, voyeurism, endymasiaphilia

══════════════════

name(s) ;; ramona, raven, marlene, summer, lizzie

pronouns ;; she/her, xe/xem

age ;; 16 - 24 (ageflux)

species ;; human

gender(s) ;; trans woman

orientation(s) ;; bicurious

role(s) ;; system traveller

source ;; scott pilgrim takes off

sign-off(s) ;; 🛼🌈

══════════════════

appearance ;; 5'8", with an average build. pale skin. wavy pink bob with bangs. dark brown eyes and thick lashes. casual tomboyish style with solarpunk influences. see below for pictures.

personality ;; sarcastic with a hidden soft side. she's snarky and monotone, but also funny and loving. uses physical affection to make up for her struggle with verbal affection. becomes bored easily.

══════════════════

likes ;; manga, listening to music, physical affection

dislikes ;; gideon graves, having nothing to do

possible front triggers ;; her boyfriend, dyeing the body's hair

══════════════════

cisid(s) ;; backstoryfluid, cisWhite, cisUSAmerican, manic pixie dream girl

transid(s) ;; transpolyamorous, transguitarist, transactress, perma2000s, transCanadian, transcyborg, transBPD

trisid(s) ;; trisautistic

kink/fetish/para(s) ;; dominatrix, cordophilia, asphyxiophilia, agonophilia

[formulatrash]

Hi Hazel,

I hope you are the right person to ask about this. So the way I understand it, in formula e, formula 2 and indycar all the teams have basically the same car, but it's still very clear that some teams are better than others. What are the teams actually changing to make that difference? I know that indy has two different engines but there has to be more to it. Can you change everything except for the chassis in fe? What is up with f2/f3? Idk this really confuses me from series to series.

no worries, it is confusing tbh.

so all the series you've mentioned have a spec chassis, which means every car looks the same. it has the same parts, from the same supplier. in Formula 2 and 3 it also has the same engine, again all from a single supplier (Mechachrome).

F2 and 3 are supplied a biofuel mix by Aramco (as of this year), IndyCar is fuelled by a biofuel made by Shell and all of Formula E use the same Williams Advanced Engineering battery. so it's not like F1 teams where every garage has a different fluids supplier.

Formula 2 and 3 teams can then change the setup of the car. that's sometimes very important for maintaining a good balance; it's why having an experienced team or a driver with good setup knowledge can make a huge difference and why some ultra-rich drivers like Amaury Cordeel pay for their teammate to share setup and essentially do the work for both cars. that's stuff like front and rear wing angle, ride stiffness, etc.

in Formula E teams can then make certain parts of the car themselves (brake ducts, for instance) and there is also a range of powertrain suppliers. initially, the Porsche powertrain looked unbeatable this season because it had the best race efficiency, whereas that seems to have swung the way of the Jaguar powered cars towards this late stage. the powertrain and the teams management of it make a very big difference to the efficiency of the car. you can also make small tweaks to the physical setup of the car but in FE they're not massively major just because there's no real aero to adjust (FE cars have less downforce than a GT car) only things like tiny increments of ride height and stuff - the overall efficiency is much more important.

in IndyCar there's a common chassis and then Honda and Chevrolet are the engine suppliers. sometimes it's clear that one or the other has the upper hand in terms of outright or sustained speed (so it's pretty noticeable in some years at the Indy 500) but teams can also make substantial setup changes that will vary how quick they are or the way the car behaves. this is a good article about the aerokit options available for IndyCar teams this year.

so, in terms of mechanical or technical things they can change, there is some stuff across all the series and in Formula E or IndyCar it's quite a wide range.

then there's what I'd broadly call operational factors. this is basically how good is the team at competing in their respective series.

that can come down to how well the cars are prepared for and looked after over a race weekend - generally, bigger budget teams will have more mechanics available to work on the cars and so be able to give them more attention. no garage is slacking but if you have more resources, better analytics tools, more option to change parts, etc then you will have an advantage. drivers also pay for parts across the year, so things like crash damage and wear-and-tear might mean that they're re-using parts if they're on a budget that they're replace, if they had infinite funds.

something that's affected all the series recently is the supply chain problems that Dallara (which makes the F2/3 and IndyCar chassis) and Spark (which is a subsidiary of Dallara that makes electric racecars, in FE and XE) has had. so there has been a lack of spare parts at various points across the board and FE currently has a severe lack of Gen3 parts - not at all helped by the carnage in Rome.

then there's how well the teams work with the drivers. how much data processing power they have, how good their performance engineers (the people who translate data to the drivers, basically) are and how well the team can execute strategies. in F2 or IndyCar that can include being slick at pit stops and knowing when to call them but there's also other factors.

take qualifying in F2 and 3, for instance. F2/3 cars use the F1 pit lane, with temporary pits set up in the bays outside the garages (basically where F1 teams do a pit stop) but they can't get inside the garages. which means that they are not allowed to refuel once the car has left the support series paddock, since refuelling is only allowed in garages.

for qualifying you want to run low fuel but also give yourself enough options to get a few runs in. if the track turns out to develop super quickly towards the end but you don't have the fuel to go out again, you'll lose out on position - this happened a weird amount with Prema last year, in F2, even though they're normally one of the best teams, operationally.

and there's lots of little things like that. understanding the tyres so you can get them up to temperature the best, knowing what calls to make if it rains, having the experience and confidence to do that even in series where, since they're literally for training, the drivers don't.

in IndyCar the strategy is super complicated because there's tyres and also fuel and obviously you want to get over the line having spent the least amount of time in the pits but that's going to take being clever and as in all sports a little bit lucky. then there's also the role of the spotter, which is basically to be the opposite of the Ferrari pit wall by accurately and promptly telling the driver about everything happening around them on track. it's not an engineering role, more purely about that sporting awareness and communication - F1 could prob learn.

in FE things are slightly different because FE is slightly different (no different tyre compounds, no pit stops, etc) but basically the teams that can correlated simulator data to put together the best on-track package will be in the lead. and if the mechanics can stay up all night fixing a car from the ground up and still be on it enough to fully prepare both cars the next day then hell, they're the best in the business.

so lots of factors affect how the car performs. generally the biggest constraint for teams is budget because money can fix a lot of the other problems but experience is the next hurdle. Sacha Fenestraz was talking quite a lot about how his engineering team in Nissan is all quite new to Formula E and how much they've had to learn together during the rookie practice on Friday.

[ancha-aus]

Coloured sketch of Fate.

Ancient of Determination

For an overview of the Ancients

This is Fate, the Ancient of Determination

Fate does not care what pronouns you use for them. She is okay with anything. She/he/they/it/xe. They will react to anything if he notices you mean them.

Fate, is a strange one powerwise. As They are not affected by the mortals. While other Ancients make Champions to get a better bond and reach to the earth and mortals on it Fate does not get this.

Fate is completely seperated from the mortals and will never form a connection like the other Ancients do. It is what is expected as the nature of Fate is after all.

This, as a result, means that when Fate names a Champion they can not give many of their powers over to the Champion. Unlike the other Champions who gain significant powers or skills, Fate's Champions only gain one thing, and always the one thing.

The ability to keep going.

It can have different names for a person, motivation, determination, go-getter. In the end it is the ability to get through the hardships and to keep going towards your goal.

Fate can make as many champions as they want as it doesn't cost them anything. The issue is that Fate can't unname a Champion as they never really gift any of their powers. Normally when an Ancient unnames a Champion they recall the gift of their powers. Making the Champion an ex-Champion as the powers get lost. But as Fate doesn't actually gift anything Fate can't recall it.

Meaning, Once Fate names you a Champion, a Wishmaker. You are always a wishmaker.

Which is nice... except that it can backfire as Fate doesn't bother to police his Champions or guide them which means that she just leaves them to do their own thing after naming them. Meaning that if a Wishmaker decides to use this power to keep going and keep getting up and unending motivation for more... negative gains. there is very little that can stop them.

(side note. Chara and Frisk. Both of them are Wishmakers, neither of them are aware because again, Fate doesn't bother to explain things. It is why when they were underground their power got hypercharged by the three natural leylines within the mountain and the barrier locking all the magic in place. It mean that their Wishmaker position got hypercharged and they could suddenly reset and save and load. Now that they both have been out of the mountain for a long time this ability disappeared once more. Ther are unable to manipulate the timeline anymore. No, Fate was unaware this happened.)

Because Fate doesn't need to form any connection with either her Champions or mortals in general they tend to not interact with anyone. He is always on the move and hardly stops for more than a few minutes to look around a spot to see if anyone needs a motivation boost before moving on. Fate doesn't need to rest either so she is forever moving and traveling.

Their form as fox goes mostly unnotices. this means he has been photographed multiple times but it hardly shows anything strange on camera (yes normal hunters have tried to shoot Fate before but Fate doesn't exactly have a physical form. people just assume they missed the fox and hope it doesn't go after their chickens).

But...

If you happen to find them at dusk or dawn. and happened to look at them just as the sun reaches the horizon. You may see some strange things about this fox. The way that the eyes seem to hold stars in them (the save star). the way that the light reflects of the fur making almost spiral motives. or... that for some reason... the shadow of the fox seems to show three tails...

It are tiny signs at just the right time. If, Fate stays still long enough for you to truly study them. As the moment you see them is also the moment you will see it continue on her path.

[caustic-splines]

I can be soft and vulnerable, I am willing to let you hurt me because I love you and trust you. I know you are passionate I rediscovered part of the reason why I love you so much. Your love is discrete, inverse pun intended but both homonyms applicable in this analogy. It is private, our unique form of expression

But it is also literally discrete, like recent quantum gravity field theories I may or may not have a hand in. My mind craves clarity, more so, it craves discrete caustic lines an planes. I would like to be like that every day. I want my heart to be in the inner of a particle accelerator bit-west two colliding high energy beams. All the crazy spins and flavor's of normal, charming, and even exotic sub atomic particles smashing apart, smashing together, twirling off in random spirals based on EM fields. That is who I am, not a particle reactor,

but every emergent self and extended phenotype aspect of my projects, world views, emotions, experiences, thoughts and behaviors.

Do you really want to see what I have seen when I was manic, I will make a brief outline, which barely does it justice, nor was the experience worth it in my mind

I saw reality

Across all multi scale layers of objective, subjective, abstract existance. Both perceived and externally existing.

Across all of these non-linear and semi-non empirical scales

Ontology categories of conscious awareness -5 Planc Quantized Wireframe -4 Subatomic Interactions -3 Electron Orbitals -2 Biochemical Interactions -1 Neurological Activity 0 Perception Input and basic awareness/dispersibility [(x n-1…n5) State of dissociation of whatever perceptual order or unconsciousness/dreaming] 1 Awareness of perception and SV 2 Awareness of perception in context or awareness of awareness -Xa Intrapersonal models 3 Awareness of self, regarding one's cognitive topography -Xb Allocentric models 4 Aware of a disruptive axiomatic shift recursively impacting various areas and fidelity of one's consciousness -Xc Global and Orbital Cyberphysical Memetogeographic Space -Xd Cosmology 5 Aware of a fundamental change in perception or PMC affecting POV. Shift in paradigm -Xe Uber Universes/5D+ EGC splines (ego/exo/allo) centric/ totality of EISOA over CT0-9

In the context of modular frames, of which I have objectively real working minimal level of knowledge in all of these domains, some reaching PhD levels of mastery

1 Technology

1 Applied Science/Applied Uses of TSECpm Phenomenon 2 ~Sustainable, Agricultural, Ecological and Environmental 3 Fabrication, Trade/Craft, and Intra/Inter Human Skill/Functionality 4 Military/Security/OMA7 5 Educational, Knowledge, Cognitive, Cybernetics, and Information, DT/PT 6 Electronics, Computers, Software, Spectrum, AI 7 Industries, Material Collection, Cyclical/NA: Supply Chains, Accounting 8 Skills, Fabrication, Synthesis, and Patents, Logistics 9 Civil, Nationality, Era, Civilian, State, and Structural 0 Future Technology/Other

2 Philosophy

1 Logic 2 Epistemology 3 Aesthetics 4 Politics 5 Dialectics, Critical Thinking, and Rhetoric 6 Ethics and Morality 7 Metaphysics and Ontology 8 Meta Linguistics 9 Applied Philosophy 0 Analytic Philosophy/Other

3 Engineering

1 Nuclear Engineering 2 Chemical Engineering 3 Biological Engineering/Medical Engineering 4 Environmental Engineering 5 Systems Engineering  and Cybernetics 6 Electrical Engineering 7 Mechanical Engineering 8 Industrial Engineering  9 Civil Engineering    0 Personal Engineering/Cognitive Engineering/Experience Engineering, ME0002/0013/0034/0049, Other

4 General-Cultural

1 Interactive Mediums/4, 3//Middle World IO MR Interaction/Hobbies/EISOA interactions 2 Geography, Culture, [[SMPH/ME 1/Experiment 0032 TSeCIVii|Experiment 0032 TSeCIVii]] 3 Occult/Niche Allusion/Metaphor 4 Physical, Mental, and Cognitive Skills 5 Day to Day Functionality, House Keeping, BH, and Normative and Exotic Behavior (Anomolies vs Normative Phenomena, timescale/PoF independent) 6 Law, Rules, Conduct, Ethology 7 Finance and Business/Institutions/VSM/States/Governing Bodies 8 Dynamic PPF+/-PoV, People of Interest, UJSF 9 Politics and Society – Collective Conscious Gestalt 0 UM, Pop culture/other, (**(almost) ALL EISOA can be contained in USF(EISOA Correlate))

5 Frameworks

1 Gestalt, Non Gestalt (AS/S)_, Spatial and/or Temporal Patterns, and Non-Modular and Modular Ontology, Shapes, Objects, Sounds,  Qualia Framed Experiences which can be Axiomatized (basically an intersystem link to 1, 1 to enable dual +y/1, 1 functionality) 2 PT/MR Mathematical and Mapping/Fields Competition and Game Theory, NWF (applying [[Experiment 0024 LoUtrix]] to 1, 1) 3 UJSF/Society and Culture/Cyberphysical Environments (EISOA cybersocial considertations) 4 TSECpm, +y/PT, Exocognition/LLM integration 5 Mindmap/MEs, and Modelling, Psychology/EISOA, Thought Traces/2, 5/AE/DABPAx (self imposed 3, 4 for the meta task of utilizing +y effectively) 6 Experiential and PMC/5, x /1, 1/3, 1/2, x/PE (1, 1-2-5-6/2, x subjective experience. MM08, x 7 IESOA, CABS, Frames, (OMA7), Fuzzy Logic, 3, 4/VSMs/SMPH Optimal Scheduling and [[Unsignificant Sentience/Mental Experiments/Experiment 0005 Chewing Gum Loading Dock|Experiment 0005 Chewing Gum Loading Dock]] [[SMPH/ME 1/Experiment 0058 Just in Time 1, 31, 5AE+Y|Experiment 0058 Just in Time 1, 31, 5AE+Y]] HMI workflow (EIOA on IS) 8 Language and Linguistics, Metaphor/SWHs, [[SMPH/ME 1/Experiment 0012 Fractal Cosmic Regression|Experiment 0012 Fractal Cosmic Regression]] 9 Cognition, Learning, and Experience/ 09, x 0 Axiomatic Systems, Perspective Theory/other, PoFs

6 Science

1 Physics 2 Astrophysics and Cosmology 3 Chemistry 4 Biology 5 Interdisciplinary/System Science 6 Health Sciences 7 Earth Sciences 8 Formal Science 9 Social Sciences 0 Other

7 Abstract Constructs, Functions, and Relationships

1 Set Theory 2 Ontology 3 Epistemology 4 Metaphysics 5 Digital/Cognitive Twins 6 Abstract Object Mapping 7 Abstract Object Manipulating 8 Elucidating Abstract Space into IS space and vice versa 9 Metaphysical Abstract Space Workshop, CA 0 Communicable and interactive Abstract Entities/Engineering of the Abstract

At the same time, world building a sci fi universe and multiple systems of systems that would be abstracted and logically patterned into some of the most influential books in human history.

The fourth book? You are a main character you wrote your own part you played. It is probably the first case of hypersituatal fictional historic non fiction that guided the development of humanity culturally and scientifically. I became a living fictive, I had all of my human rights removed, but not my natural rights.

When you see everything, you can change everything

I had reality fuck it's way into my brain and leave gaping wounds that have never healed. I can handle some rough love dear

Maybe one day I will be able to share the light show

[kentucky-fried-thea]

Alice By Heart characters' love languages (and pronouns)

alice (she/her): quality time. when she and alfred are apart, she physically aches for him. that's why its so hard to let him go for the story

alfred (he/him): acts of service. he wants to make life as easy as possible for alice. he needs her to know how loved she is, and he needs her to be able to do everything she wants

tabatha (she/her): words of affirmation. not her receiving them, but her giving them. when she is with her partner, it is always a shower of lovely words

nigel (he/him): gift giving. nigel is pretty insecure, so he likes to have tangible proof that his partner still wants him

clarissa (she/her): words of affirmation. she needs to know her partner cares about her as a person, and not just as a commodity. she likes to be able to remember the inflection used to tell her she's worth it

dodgy (they/he): physical touch. dodgy and harold love to be affectionate with each other. they aren't very obnoxious with their affection, they just love to snuggle with each other. dodgy loves kisses on their head

harold (he/him, xe/xem): physical touch. when xe was a soldier, he didn't really have any close friends. it was all very professional for xem. when xe is having a particularly rough day, dodgy will begin whispering to him, and slowly wrap his arms around xem to calm him down.

angus (he/they): physical touch. you can tell from chillin the regrets that angus (and those whom alice relates him to) has a very snuggly relationship with those they love. I headcanon him as aspec, but with their friends they love to come up from behind them and just swaddle them into a bear hug

[mintyeels]

BYF/DNI

Call me Splat or Scissors. I go by xe/god/slime/it. I prefer masculine language.

Alright fuckers, this is my honesty account! Im gonna be keeping this separate from my mains for a good fucking reason because like fuck am I losing all my damn moots and shit for this <3

I am (or we are) a polyfrag multigenic system with npd, bpd aspd, and possible hpd along with several other mental illnesses. I experience psycosis, I have adhd and autism, and I have several controversial special interests. Get used to that if you stay here.

I will not censor my thoughts here. If you wanna be friends then you should know im a two-faced cowardly bitch who loves attention and pushing others away. I do not fucking trust you <3

That being said if I say something bigoted or unjust, lmk. I’m incredibly aware of my potential impact on others, and I pride myself on being helpful, non-harmful, and using progressive language. I am physically disabled.

(That is to say, in non aspd language: pls lmk if I say smth offensive. I genuinely want to learn and become more aware, as its important to me that im not harming others with my language or actions. Call my bullshit out (politely!) and I will be more than willing to accommodate and adjust!)

I am currently in an environment where I cannot safely seek treatment or therapy for my personality disorders & systemhood at the moment, however I am educated on mental health, mental illness, and psychology (self researched). I also plan to pursue a career in social work or psychology.

With that context it should be clear that I DO NOT self-diagnose myself lightly. I am not making light of, purposefully demonizing, or making a bad name for people with these disorders. I am simply being honest about how they affect my life and outlook on this blog.

I have been medically recognized as a system, and don’t give a fuck what you think of my origin or pronouns. Mind your fucking business and shut your fucking mouth.

Self diagnosis is valid. Endogenics are safe and accepted here. Introjects are real (I cant believe I have to say that). I refuse to call source memories/exomemories “psuedomemories,” as it is invalidating imo.

My proper BYF is much longer, but here’s the gist. [late addition, im anti-sexual age-regression (CGLG/LB [squick] or CGLG/LB agere [immoral imo]), and pro-nonsexual age-regression. sfw regressors are welcome here, though please be aware that this blog is not always child/little-friendly!]

(ID: A black box with neon green text reading, “DNI: PRO-CONTACT FOR HARMFUL PARAPHILIAS, TRUSCUM/TRANSMED, ANTI-NEO PRONOUN, TERF/SWERF/RADFEM, SYSCOURSE/DISCOURSE BLOG, EXCLUSIONIST, TRANSRACE, ANTI-MSPEC IDENTITIES, POLICE LGBT TERMS/IDENTITIES, ANTI-AGEREGRE/ANTI-LITTLE, CTLG/B (AGEREGRE), ANTI-KINK, ANTI ENDO/TULPA, DON’T RESPECT CLOSED PRACTICES, TRANSID/TRANSX (EXEPT TRANSSPECIES AND TRANSAGE IN GOOD FAITH), ANTI-NEOPRONOUNS, GENDERSKEPTICAL/CRITICAL”)

My spins (special interests are):

Hermitcraft

Zombies

Apocalypses

Art

Shifting (scientific interest)

Dsmp (dream sucks.)

Slimecicle

Slimecicle cinematic universe

Ranboo

AstralSpiff

Asmr

Video games

Categories of suicide and/or muder

Witchcraft/paganism

The sorry boys

Half-life/Portal

Systemhood

Mental health

Personality disorders

Creepypasta

Marble hornets

Scp

Indie Horror

The forest

Batim/batdr

Poppy playtime

Resident evil

[fangaminghell]

Random Facts about the Reborn Trio?

Probably already mentioned these already but:

Leo likes shiny rocks. Shiny things in general tbh. He is very good at noticing hidden stuff because of this.

Unlike most of the voided, Suraya actually explored the void during her time there. I mentioned that she quite fought void demons, and I meant that literally.

Blair is studying to be a professor for all of the post game. Xe don't become one officially until much later, though.

Leo pole dances. He got into it as he was healing from Richard.

Suraya, despite her often reigning Leo in with his over the top romantic gestures, is honestly just as much as romantic as he is. She still has a level head, and tries to approach things practically, but if you're lucky you can catch her In The Moment. She's as corny as her dad and has made puns/ used tactics she read in manga( classic cornering someone against a wall. It worked on Saphira once )

Since Blake helps babysit Lilith, it's only fair xe help with Heather, even when she insists she doesn't need it. Blair is actually really good at doing braids, so Heather would ask xem to braid her hair ( to match Shelly lol).

Despite Leo's strength with his psychic powers, he doesn't really use them that much. Richard used to pester him about it, but he doesn't exactly see the point? He still refines his skills so he doesn't lose control, and he generally levitates himself or objects. But other than that, he doesn't use his powers often unless he feels like he needs to ( or when he feels particularly lazy).

Suraya has always been strong, but the time in the void really boosted her strength. I can see her being able to arm wrestle with Samson, and winning. Though it's a 50/50 chance on that one, Samson is strong.

When Blair gets flustered or embarrassed xyr face goes completely red. It's very noticeable since xe are pretty pale.

You know. I think all three are pretty touch starved. Like think about it. Despite there efforts now, Navin and Astrid neglected their kids when they were younger, so they never got that physical affection they craved. And Blair. Well. *gestures to xyr entire backstory* yeah. Suraya is very good at giving her affection- partly due to her kind nature but also because her being a heir to a company, she's expected to give a lot. Needless to say, she melts at physical touch. Especially when she's told that she doesn't need to be the supporter anymore. The same with Leo. He melts when he feels safe, and thus gets "clingy". Blair is very much not used to positive physical affection, so xe keep a distance most times, but deeply craves it. Xe doesn't know how Blake of all people was able to see this vulnerable side to xem, but xe aren't exactly mad about it. Suraya and Leo ( alongside xyr pokemon) were the first to see this side of xem of course.

That's all I can think of. I hope this was satisfactory.