metagalaksi

[gay-hoodie-boy]

Link, caring

i don't got a Link fic, sorry ^^;

[redcherrykook]

── ˙✧°📷 TORN PICTURES AND FROZEN LENSES 4

────୨ৎ────

College Photography Teacher!Jungkook x Student!Reader

27 year old, stupidly handsome asshole teacher Mr. Jeon has absolutely no human decency, he believes your victim complex is what keeps you from ever achieving anything, letting people use you as a bridge. When something unexpected happens, the ice starts to melt as a foreign word called "empathy" enters his egocentric lense. Maybe he will finally manage to teach you a lesson now, since you keep failing his class.

(Mini series)- Episode four!

Song recommendation: circles- post malone

Content: Cold, mean, distant, unprofessional Jungkook, hurt, stubborn reader, enemies to lovers, lowkey dramatic, accident happens, mutually beneficial relationship (emotionally), Jk learns a lot from her, Jk is mean but has a soft spot for reader (eventually), 6 year age gap, Reader is from a struggling background, Jk kind of rescues her, happy ending, angst at first, fluff, smut, comedy/crack, bickering, college setting, brief hospital setting

Warnings: swearing, name-calling,mentions of an accident involving a biker, mentions of hospital, mentions of injuries, really mean Jungkook, i promise he gets sweet, mentions of trauma and abuse (non detailed), mental health struggles (semi detailed), arguments

Taglist: @bts-iris @kaeysv @khadeeeeej @rockstryoon

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"Jungkook?" you shout when stepping out of the bathroom, dressed in a pair of baggy, low sitting sweats and a black tanktop that you had taken with you earlier. Appropriate for late night Fried chicken runs. Your voice filling up the empty hallway, no sight of the handsome teacher.

His groan can he heard from behind his bedroom door as he opens it.

"Finally done?", he walks out, a comfortable white hoodie with matching bottoms hanging loosely on his body.

Something about these damn casual clothes just make him look attractive.

It felt like your own little secret, seeing Jungkook outside of his classroom, his perfectly correlated image.

In the comfort of his own home, messy, having just woken up or going out casually.

It made you feel giddy, even if it was not supposed to.

Jungkooks eyes glue on your neckline, collarbones so delicately on display, damp hair sprawled out.

The drops of water dropping on your shirt reminding him of him of the forbidden thoughts tangled in his mind minutes earlier.

Gulping, he points to it "Dry your hair, you´re gonna catch a cold"

"Was gonna ask you for the blow dryer" you say, noticing the way his eyes focus on your cleavage.

No, you're over analyzing things now.

"Let me get it, right here" his inked arm reaching into a cupboard of the bathroom, pulling out a hairdryer and handing it to you.

"Thanks" your smile spread across your face as you dry your hair quickly, Jungkook gathers up his wallet and car keys, waiting for you at the front door.

"Lets go get drunk" you giggle with a fist pumped up into the air, walking past him to put on your shoes on. It had been ages since you had last gotten drunk with someone.

"The shit I do with you hm? How did we even get here" he shakes his head, trying to hide the little smile playing on his pierced lip.

"No idea, but I´m trying to forget all that mess anyways. you ready?" you reply to him, opening the front door to make your way to his car.

Buckled in, excited to loosen up a bit, you hit the radio to play.

The thrid time´s a charm right?

"Yeah no shut it off" he says, reaching to turn it off with his free hand.

"Nope. Only now please, not even the ride back, Are you allergic to music?" you slap his hand away, chuckling and waiting for the news segment on the radio to conclude.

"You´re in my car idiot, turn the radio off" he groans, his face beaming with annoyance.

Instead of responding and complying to his wishes, you turn up the volume and start singing along to the song playing, arms swaying in motion as happiness fills your body up. Being around Jungkook made you able to stop worrying so much about everything, you enjoyed a moment like this. Devoid of any care in the world, any problems or uncertainty.

Glancing over to him, his eyes locked on to the road with his lips tugging back a grin.

"See? not too bad" you tease while continuing to sway to the music.

"Horrible actually, your awfully off key singing just makes it worse. Check if my ears are bleeding i feel you´re ruining them"

"Drama queen. I´m a music major, I know i can sing stop pretending" your eyes roll, looking out of the window as the next song plays. he scoffs, secretly waiting for you to resume your screeching.

Instead of singing your heart out, you hum lowly to the soft vocals playing in the car. Jungkook snorts suddenly, making you shoot him a look of anger.

"Took that to heart? Keep singing idiot, you sound fine" his eyes move to yours in an attempt to show he´s just fooling around with you, while also pulling into the drive through of the chicken place.

"You suck. I forgive you because you´re buying me food" your hands reach for the radio, turning it off to make the employee hear Jungkook´s order. He smirks slightly, shifting in his seat to turn to you. With the way he´s looking at you, you expect him to say something serious.

"Ridiculous" is all he says before placing the order.

"Are we going to get soju from a convenience store?" You ask him, noticing he's driving back in the direction of his place.

"Yeah, its closer to me. I'll let you pick the flavors even" his voice in a low but playful tone.

"That´s crazy you're sooo sweet" obviously sarcastic you touch his shoulder, eyes squinting at him.

He grins, "I'm doing great at being nice aren't i? Come on, we need to get out here" he says when parking on the side of the street.

The store had many, many flavors. You examine each one carefully, wisely choosing which one fits the current vibe of well, getting drunk with an unexpected new friend who you happen to live with now. All the while, Jungkook is peacefully clutching hands full of snacks and ramyeon.

"I think ill take two melon, one strawberry and one peach. Sound good?" You mumble, looking over at him.

Immediately you start to laugh, he is standing there looking like a hungry kid left alone in the snack aisle. Tightly gripping on to as many snacks his large hands could hold on to. To capture this hilarious moment, you pull out your phone to snap a pic.

Rolling his eyes at your gesture, he nods, "Take one more peach, i like that one the best" he adds, already scanning his snacks at self check out.

"Noted" you reply, grabbing one more peach soju and setting down the five bottles of liquor for him to scan.

When he does, you walk back to the car, a bag full of alcohol, snacks and ramyeon in Jungkook's hand.

This was going to be a long night

"I guess we're calling in sick tomorrow?" He says, pulling the car out of the parking spot and driving back to his apartment.

"Naah, we'll be fine, right? Or are you a lightweight?" you smirk at him playfully, knowing very well that four shots are enough to get you very tipsy.

"Unfortunately that is one of the very few flaws i have. Don't act like you're all hard-core huh" he scoffs, remembering how horrible his last time being drunk went. He completely lost his mind. Drank way more than he should have and ended up waking up at some random girl's couch, next to two other men.

25 was definitely a crazy age for Jungkook, lesson learned.

That is however, also how he met his best friend Mingyu. Him being one of the other guys on this woman's couch.

That's a story for another day.

"Mister perfect over here. Yeah yeah, i'm also a light weight. But I'm a funny drunk"

His eyebrows furrow, "funny drunk?" he asks

"Yeah, like when i'm drunk i get super funny and unserious. Some people are angry drunks or emotional drunks" you explain, your eyes focused on the steering wheel. Studying the way his hand wraps around it, his fingers tapping against the smooth leather whenever he stopps the car.

He hums in return,

"Which one are you?" you ask him curiously, imagining what it would be like if he was also a funny drunk, dancing on his living room table or cracking up at something stupid.

It's not nearly as impossible to imagine as when you had first met him. After this past week of spontaneously getting to know parts of him, he is not actually as boring as initially anticipated.

Still, the thought seems particularly interesting, maybe a little over exaggerated.

"Don´t know. I guess we'll find out today" he says shrugging, his lips curving into a small, meaningless smile.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

"Wahhh finally" you exclaim, letting out a huff of air when setting down the bottles of soju on the table along with the food and some snacks.

You plop down on his couch dramatically, waiting for him to sit down next to you. He does exactly that, opening one of the peach soju bottles and pouring both of you a shot.

Slowly, you reach for his hand to place the small glass in your fingers, focused on the millisecond his hand would graze yours. He hands it to you carefully before taking his own glass in his hands.

"What do you wanna toast to?" He asks, leaning back against his couch. His legs are spread, his right arm supporting his head by propping it up on a cushion.

"Gosh i can't pick one, there's so much that happend" you giggle, zoning out while looking at the table and remembering how you were hit by the biker, how you had an argument with him, the day of getting kicked out and much more.

He snaps you out of your flashbacks, "You're trying to forget all that right? Stand above it?" his question makes you nod at him.

"Then lets just toast to a new chapter" he says blankly, his eyes moving to yours, awaiting approval.

"Sure, good idea" you smile slightly, extending your arm forward to meet him in the middle as he does the same, glasses clinking together.

You pour the shot down, the alcohol slightly burning your throat in a delicious, satisfying way. It truly felt like things had gotten better.

Washing away whatever has led you here in the first place.

He does the same, his hair falling behind him messily, his neck beautifully on display as he swallows down the shot.

"So? Good right, told you this flavor is it" he says, waiting for you to say something in return. His hands reach to take his glasses off, revealing all of his softened face to your wandering eyes.

"Tastes sweet" mindlessly licking your lips, savoring the remains of alcohol on them, you look into his eyes.

You watch them go down where your tongue had just been before, shooting back up again quickly.

"Lets eat im hungry" you fake whine, setting down the glass and opening up the bag of food.

Jungkook groans in return, reaching to take out some food as well.

"Always so impatient"

The time passes rather quickly. Soon the food was finished, both of you had already drunken one soju bottle each, the next one already half empty, opened on the table.

"You know.." you say, tipsy and with a wide smile sprawled across your face. Cheeks flushed pink from the liqour you consumed.

Lightweight indeed.

Jungkook tilts his head, listening to you closely.

"I'm reaaallllly thankful for you kook" you giggle, the nickname just naturally spilling out from your lips. Your vision is blurry, but you´re almost certain you see a smile creep up his face.

He notices it too, feeling his heart turn warmer as his brain gets irritated at the feeling. To try and conceal his painfully loud heartbeat, he reaches to pour another shot. Throwing it back into his mouth, right after doing the same with the second one.

"Me tooooo" you laugh, reaching forward with grabby hands, trying to take the bottle away from him.

He stops you, pushing your arm back down, noticing his body becoming more dizzy and uncorrelated.

"You've had enough idiot, no more drinking for you" his voice is low and sultry, his eyes remaining glued to the smile on your face, not a serious thought behind your red and glazed eyes.

You´re a funny drunk for sure.

"Okay thennn but, kook?" You question, scooting closer to him on the couch. He winces at the nickname, it's not easy to ignore when you keep calling him that, keep reminding him of that feeling in his chest.

He stiffens up at your proximity, feeling the need to run away from this.

But he simply can not bring himself to do so.

"Hm?" he says, setting the bottle down and waiting for your question. He expects something stupid and senseless, his mind growing more fuzzy as the soju's effect kicks in.

"Why are you always so mean? I learned once in psychology class... you know.. people are mean to protect themselves" you slur, tugging playfully on his hoodie when asking the question.

He pulls his arm away, looking at the table and scoffing.

"Come onnn you know sooooo much about me too jungkook" you´re back to giggling again, the wide and drunken smile still spread on your face.

He takes another shot to prepare himself for this uncomfortable conversation, if he was even to engage in it.

Just in case.

The thoughts in his head are blurry, raw in emotion and unclear all at once. Memories of his past resurfacing in a haze, reminding him of the scars he carries within him.

Whether from the alcohol or the questions, his eyes become glossy.

"Had a bad upbringing, got bullied and beat a lot for stupid shit like my interests" his voice starting to slur out lowly, shaking his head at the memory of his hometown school. Jungkook sighs before taking a deep breath.

"Made me toughen up i guess" he says, his eyes wandering to meet your face again.

You were not smiling anymore, instead a big overly expressing pout on your lips. Mumbling a couple "M'so sorry kook"

He nods, ready to change the topic.

"You've a gooooood heart. Promise"

Your hands are both pressed against his chest, firmly.

Your touch feels like fire on his body, even if covered by a thick piece of clothing, he can feel it. He can feel every crevice of your skin slowly imprinting on his chest. Your words only leave behind a bigger mark, staining his brain with them.

Instead of pulling away, his eyes glue to you, remembering to engrave this moment into his mind, hoping it would still be there once he sobers up.

As he stares, he can't help but bite his lip at you flushes cheeks, how soft your hair looks, slightly draping on your lazy smile.

Suddenly, you take your hands off his chest, hugging them around yourself, dramatically shivering.

"Aahgg, so cold. Wow, are we in the arctics?" you laugh wholeheartedly at your stupid joke, convinced it must be the funniest thing you had ever said.

For the first time in a while, Jungkook acts before he thinks. Excusing it by his clouded state of mind, confident he can blame it all on the alcohol, not on his feelings.

He pulls his white hoodie above his head, leaving him in a tanktop. Without hesistation, he pulls you closer. So close, your knees are on top of his thighs, one more move and you would be sitting on his lap.

He puts the hoodie over you gently, telling you to push your arms up the sleeves.

You comply, laughing loudly.

He smiles when you get stuck in the hood,so he reaches to pull it down, revealing your messy haired head inches away from his own.

The world freezes and becomes yours only.

His face inches closer to yours, looking into your eyes softly. Your breath is quiet on his face as you are stood still, a small smile hung up on your lips. Screaming to be kissed, screaming for him to close the distance.

You might be drunk, but you aren't wasted.

Jungkook's face looks even more beautiful up close, the scar on his cheek perfecting his features, his sharp eyes looking at you as big, brown, doe ones instead.

He looks at you like you hung up the stares for him.

Your heart is clenching at the closeness, the moment feels eternal, only one more second until you would break all you had known and get what you had wanted most right now.

Jungkook licks his lip piercing, pulling away from you before clearing his throat.

It was almost like you could hear your heart shatter if you had listend close enough.

Foolish little me.

"We're both too drunk. Come on, let's get you into bed" he smiles at you softly, standing up wobbly and reaching his arm out to help you.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

The alarm rings, causing Jungkook to wake up. Still on his couch, a annoyingly heavy feeling on his head.

Stupid hangovers.

Turning off the alarm he sits up, staring at the messy table before him. Three empty bottles of soju laughing at him for his stupidity.

Nothing goes right when he drinks.

He rubs his head in annoyance, noticing that he is not wearing his hoodie.

Memories of your face close to his, your hand on his chest, flashing in his mind.

Get yourself together, Jungkook, that's all meaningless. You can't keep flirting with your student.

Groggyly he calls into the office, announcing his absence for the day before cleaning up the mess that yesterday's night has left.

Throwing out the empty containers of food, gathering the two left over bottles and putting them into the fridge.

When taking the last steps to a clean living room, still thinking about the way your voice sounded saying his name yesterday, he knocks over an empty bottle of soju.

Crash.

You shoot up from the loud noise, immediately groaning at the penetrating headache that was the result of yesterdays escapades.

Should've known better.

When rubbing your eyes and yawning, you quickly walk out to room to look for the noise, spotting Jungkook crouched down, cleaning up the shattered glass.

"Ah fuck. Sorry i woke you up" he says, voice still raspy from sleep, turning his body to look at you. You stood there, sleepy and still in his comically large hoodie.

He wanted to stop thinking about you.

"Yeah its okay, you good? What time is it?" You stretch your arms up, only now noticing that you're still wearing his clothes.

Remembering the way you wanted him to kiss you just hours earlier.

"I´m good. Its dawn crack in the fucking morning because i thought I would be able to work today. No way in hell am i leaving this house" he groans, throwing away the glass shards.

You hum, awkwardly creating silence between the both of you.

Luckily he breaks it soon enough.

"Nice dress you got there" he remarks with a smirk, obviously making fun of you.

You scoff, pulling the hoodie over your head and throwing it at him.

He chuckles briefly at your actions, remembering how he threw a shirt at you before.

"Fair enough" he mumbles as you walk past him to the bathroom,

"Emotional" stopping next to him to pat his shoulder.

He glances at you, confused

"Are you talking in riddles to piss me off?"

"You're an emotional drunk, kook" you say, closing the door on him once again.

When having done your morning pee and it's time for you to walk back out of the bathroom, he´s sat on the couch.

"Why are you calling me by a nickname so suddenly?" he blurts out, his eyes sternly glaring at you. You scoff, wondering why he's so worked up about it.

Jungkook wanted nothing more than to forget what had happened, to not have to confront his feelings.

But if you were gonna call him 'kook', he would be constantly reminded of it.

Even if he liked the way it sounded, replaying in his mind.

"Because it suits you" your reply seems to anger him even more, unsure what you meant by your words.

"I'm not your little friend y/n. Don't get to comfortable" he spits out rudely, fully regretting it the moment his words leave his mouth.

Why was it so difficult to ignore you?

You roll your eyes at him, not taking it to heart. Well aware he's just saying things to hurt you.

After the way he opened up yesterday, even if drunk, you trusted him.

Trusted that he trusted you too.

His defenses are hard to lower, but you want to. Even if that means sometimes taking hits.

Jungkook needed someone to understand him, just like you needed someone like him as well.

Someone that accepts the way you are, while trying to help ypu change into a better version of you.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to strike a nerve" you reply casually, walking into the kitchen.

"I'm cooking hangover soup. If you're done being an asshole go get you some" your voice shouting from the kitchen.

"Whatever" he says, laying back down on the couch.

Googling up a recipe, you began cooking, occasionally looking at Jungkook passed out once again on his couch.

"Ridiculous" you huff out, lips pursed.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

"I'm NOT going to do that, no way Taehyung" you laugh at the guy in front of you.

Two days have passed since drinking with Jungkook. It's now friday afternoon, you're sitting in the library with the freshmen from the orientation.

Taehyung came up to you after class, asking to study for a test together. He´d been eyeing you ever since, still calling you ´´pretty´´ instead of your actual name.

The days have passed as normal, bickering with Jungkook and talking about things here and there.

You would be lying if you said that it hasn't been a little awkward.

It was getting harder to ignore the way you felt when Jungkook was around you, the way his strong veiny hands looked, the way he groaned at his laptop, adjusting his glasses.

How you wanted to trace every line of his sleeve tattoo.

The way you smelled his shirt he had given you to sleep in.

He was slightly more distant, restraining himself countless of times.

From thinking about you, wrapped around him.

"What? Why not. It's just a party" Taehyung smiles, closing down his laptop and taking a sip of his drink.

"Exactly. A freshmen party. I'm not a fan of parties, i pass. Hope you'll have fun though" you give him a thumbs up, shaking your head.

It was obvious that Taehyung wanted to take you there to get a chance at getting in your pants.

After seeing him on campus, he was always talking to some girl. It had only been two days that you hung out, counting today.

His flirty personality making it evident that although he could potentially be a good friend,

He was definitely not looking to date you.

Or anyone at all.

"A shame. You're kinda boring. Cute, but boring" he winks, packing up his stuff with you following suit.

"Thanks you party animal. Can't wait to hear about how many girls you've slept with after. Text me yeah? Stay safe" pulling him into a hug, you both walk outside of the library.

"Okay mom, will do"

Your face scrunches up in disgust at the nickname,

"Never do that again" you say hitting his arm, earning a loud laugh from him

Once you made sure Taehyung has left your eyesight, you walk behind the building to get into Jungkook's car.

Two minutes past the agreed upon time, you find him biting the inside of his cheek in annoyance.

"Hey, sorry I'm a wee bit late. Had to fight off demons" you joke while buckling in your seat.

"What happened this time?" Jungkook's eyebrow lifts curiously, he remembered Taehyung stopping you at the end of his class.

The thought pissed him off heavily,

"I was studying with Taehyung but he wanted me to come to a party with him" you explain, watching as his eyes darken and his hand tightening on the steering wheel.

"Is that so?" his voice sounding husky, "Are you going? I need to be prepared if i have to come pick you up disguised" he scoffs, looking out the window.

"Of course not. He's just saying that to get me tipsy in hopes of getting in bed with me" you giggle, amused by Jungkook's reaction.

When he stays silent, you decide to tease him.

"What? You look like something's bothering you kook" purposely using his nickname to push his buttons further.

His eyes look down at you, licking the inside of his cheek with his tongue.

"Yeah? You're bothering me. I don´t wanna hear about some college boy in your pants, none of my business" he says, driving off to his apartment.

Another lie passing his lips, he definitely cared if you were going to sleep with some campus playboy.

Surpised at the fact he's not fighting you on the nickname, you decide to test your limits. Pushing his buttons could end up in a fight, if not, the smile he gives will have made it worth the risk.

"I told him to text me how many girls he'll sleep with. What do you think kook? Im guessing four" you nervously watch his features, concentrating on any changes that might indicate anger or annoyance.

"You're gross. I'm not playing that game with you. Also, i know exactly what you're trying to do. I don't mind the nickname, stupid"

You smile at his reaction, patting his shoulder,

"Good. I wouldn't have stopped using it anyways"

[shawtuzi]

i love plug!eren sm that’s literally my husband and as much as i love writing about how good he fucks let’s talk about how good he is at aftercare!!!!

“s-shit m’gonna cum, take it take all that shit,” eren grunted into your neck, pressing sloppy kisses to your slightly sweaty skin. you were squeezing onto his hand for dear life as he brought you to another earth shattering orgasm, his warm cum filling you up while you shook in his arms. you’d think after five rounds of sex he’d be too tired to even lift his head from your neck but here he was already standing up to retrieve a warm washcloth, but not before giving your puffy lips three quick kisses.

you sighed dreamily as if you were in a daze, you grabbed the post sex blunt he rolled earlier and lit it. “i know you didn’t spark that shit without me,” eren chuckled as he walked in the room with a rag in hand. “i’m sorryyy i couldn’t help myself,” you giggled throwing your arm over your face. eren was a little pouty at first but his frown was quickly replaced with a smile when you offered the blunt to him. “wanna take a bath when i’m done?” he asked settling between your parted legs. you shook your head mumbling something about being too tired.

the next couple of minutes were pretty quiet as eren cleaned you up, the only sound being heard was ‘pretty little birds’ playing lowly from eren’s speaker. “m’gonna hit the block tomorrow for a bit but i’ll still be able to take you to your nail appointment,” he spoke softly running washcloth over your thigh. you hummed at his words even though you weren’t completely listening all the way—i mean how could you focus when he looks so damn good post sex??? you took another hit of the blunt before speaking, “can you stay with me until i’m done? maybe we can get food afterwards?” eren nodded his head, “of course i will you know i always do.”

it was now time for your fav part of aftercare—the cuddling!!! your head was laid on his chest as he gently ran his tatted hand up and down your back. “i can already tell i’m gonna be sore tomorrow i don’t know how i’m gonna be able to walk properly,” you groaned nuzzling your face in his chest, inhaling the intoxicating scent of his body wash. eren kissed his teeth and you looked up at him with confusion in those cute little doe eyes of yours. “baby, you know i’d carry you to whole different state if you asked. if you don’t feel like walking to the car or even into the salon you know i’ll be ready,” he chuckled running his thumb across the apple of your cheek. “you’re the best ren,” you smiled leaning up to give him three kisses.

‘in this darkness’ by clara la san began to play on the speaker and surprisingly enough eren began to hum along to it. “you know this?” you asked making eren smile. “yeah…i remember you played it one time in the car and i kept listening to it after that. kinda reminds me of you,” he said the last part so quietly you almost couldn’t hear but luckily you did. “it reminds you of me? how so?” eren was quiet for a moment before speaking, “just the lyrics and shit, i mean i do get lonely when you aren’t here and before we met my world actually almost did shut down i hated it n’ i was miserable. then you came around and just lit everything up, i was finally happy to get out of bed in the morning all because i knew i’d see or hear from you. not to be corny or whatever but i guess you could say you’re the—i don’t know light of my life or whatever.”

eren glanced at you and immediately regretted everything he said when he saw tears in your eyes, “no no no y/n please don’t start crying i’m just saying shit—” you cut eren off with a long kiss quite literally taking his breath away. “that was so sweet eren you really have a way with words you know? that sounded like it really came from the heart,” your smile was as wide as could be as you gave him another kiss. eren was never the type to put all his emotions out in the open and you could never blame him after hearing what he’d been through, so to hear him express that you were the ‘light of his life’ it meant more than anything.

after about fifteen minutes eren peeked down at your now sleeping figure, little snores coming from your parted lips. he ever so gently set you next to him—not bc he didn’t want you on him he just wanted to admire your face and body one last time for the day before he went to bed. he traced his finger from your eyebrow to your nose that you recently had double pierced, down to your lips that he was itching to kiss. if eren had to pick any part of you he loved the most it would be your lips hands down. he loved the way they looked so pretty all glossed up and shiny, and he loved it even more when you left lipstick prints on him—hence why he’s got a tattoo of a (your) lipstick print on the side of his neck. he could still remember the look of terror on your face as you inspected it but you had grown to love it just like all his other tattoos.

he looked at your naked chest as it rose and fell ever so gently as you slept. he could never quite pinpoint why you had not been happy with how your body looked in the past but he never pried afraid he’d upset you with the question. so instead throughout the expanse of your relationship he made sure to kiss every scar, every stretch mark, every imperfect perfection you had to let you know he thought you were a walking goddess and quite literally everyone including him should be kneeling at your feet.

eren pulled you closer to him and gave you one last kiss on the crown of your head before dozing off, hoping that he would see you in his dreams.

[wizzdot]

The Patron Saint of One Way Trips

Ch4

Description: chapter 4 - I’m not entirely sure if this is any good. I need to go through and edit it but I’ll do that when I’m closer to knowing what’s actually gonna happen 🤣 we will wait and see! I’ve posted this on ao3 as well - same username and title. I love Wes Anderson, hence the Isle of Dogs theme. Feel that it fits the theme of this fic too. Anyhoo..

I allow Gaz to lead me to a well lit room. It looks like some sort of living area. Comfortable sofas and carpeted floors. This was totally foreign to me after my time spent in the facility. I felt so out of place. I flit my gaze to Gaz who must notice my discomfort or awkwardness, and he beckons at me to sit down on the sofa. I am still zipped up inside his warm jacket, which smells of a warm vanilla scent mixed with some variation of citrus fruit.. I can't quite put my finger on it, but it is comforting and calming. I try not to make it obvious that I am taking in his scent.

The others are already situated in their seats. I feel all of their eyes itching into my skin. I shrink back into myself again. The pack Alpha, their Captain, clears his gruff throat before speaking. "We have received information from Laswell. She has found your file and is going to send it over as soon as it is secured in the system.. she has told us you are not a direct threat to us. Is this correct, Laika? Can we trust you?"

I feel like scoffing at him. Me? Can they trust me? It's almost laughable that a pack of four huge Alpha's think that I, a drugged, undesignated girl, could threaten them. Not to mention that I am not in the best of shape due to lack of nutrition and poor sleeping habits. "Well..?" he prompts. I met his gaze for the first time since they'd found me. "I pose no threat to you or your pack members, Captain" - I decide to address him officially as pack Alpha. He stands a little straighter than he was before, obviously happy with my answer. I feel a sense of relief wash over me before dropping my gaze back to the floor.

A growl echoes through the silence, the others all looking between each other to find the source of the sound. Their eyes land on me. I can feel my face redden under their scrutiny - my stomach is the source of the growl. "S-sorry" I stutter anxiously. Gaz steps forward slowly and smiles down at me. "C'mon, let's go and get some food. I could eat too." He nods towards the left and I follow the motion with my eyes and see an open door to what looks like a kitchen. I stand up nervously and follow Gaz, taking the widest possible route around the masked man and Soap, still not trusting them.

I step into the kitchen area and Gaz opens the fridge and inspects the contents. "What d'ya like?" he asks. I shrug. "Not really eaten much since- since I've been their asset.. I-I used to like soup though.." - "Soup? Let me check the cupboards. Think we've got tomato.." He moves around the kitchen smoothly, opening and closing cupboards when he doesn't find what he is looking for. I stand in the corner quietly, trying to avoid getting in the way. "C'mere" he beckons me over - "tomato or chicken?" he nods to a stack of four tins -two of each flavour- stacked neatly in the overhead cupboard. "J-just whatever is spare will be nice. Th-thanks" I whisper. "C'mon, love, try to stop being so shy with me.. you can trust me, even if you aren't sure about my packmates yet, yeah? I promise you they're good men underneath their tough exteriors.." he tries to convince me. "S-sorry.. I'll try harder" I murmur. I decide to try and be bold - I step closer to him and look over his shoulder into the cupboard to inspect the tins of soup. "Tomato would be nice.." I utter quietly. Gaz's smile is instant. It lights up the entire room, my eyes drawn to it. Wow - he had beautiful teeth. Sharp canines, gleaming white.. It reminded me that my teeth had been neglected - only able to brush them a couple of times a week when they allowed me to shower. I suddenly find myself feeling self-conscious. I haven't even properly looked in a mirror for at least a year..

I step back again, feeling a little anxious after my inner thoughts had caught up with me. Damn him and his big, perfect smile. And his deep, kind eyes. "How buttery do you want your bread?" The question snaps me out of it. "Butter?.. uhm.. same as you?" I question my own answer. "I've not had butter for ages. Just stale or mouldy bread.." I admit. He sighs sadly, but immediately tries to cheer me up. "You should see how Soap takes his bread. I swear he would use an entire block of butter per slice if he could. It's gross" he says jokingly. I release the smallest giggle at that. He is smiling so brightly now that he knows that he successfully made me laugh. My defences drop for a split second thanks to the growing comfort I am feeling in Gaz's presence, and my mouth blurts out before I can catch it "they scare me..”

Gaz snaps his gaze back down to mine - "What? Who? Soap..? He is harmless" - "and the masked one" I add blushing, anxiously. "That's Ghost - the masked one. He can take a while to warm up to strangers.. he won't hurt you though. Promise" he reassures me. My eyes follow his hand closely as he gently places it on my shoulder, attempting to comfort me, I assume. I try not to tense up or flinch at the soft touch. I just stare at his hand until he slowly withdraws it. I jump slightly when the microwave dings. Gaz pours the soup into a bowl and hands it to me with a plate full of buttered bread. I stand there confused, just staring at the food that I am holding.

"C'mon, hope you don't mind eating on the sofa. We usually just eat off our laps.." he shrugs. "It smells nice.." I compliment, following him as he holds the kitchen door open for me seeing as I had my hands full. I, once again, take the widest route around Soap and Ghost.. I sit down at the very end of the sofa and wait for Gaz to sit in the place next to me, subconsciously using him as a barrier to the outside room.

"What did Gaz make you for tea, lass?" the rich Scottish voice chirped. I jump in my seat slightly. I quietly respond "Tomato soup" without looking at him, remaining hidden behind Gaz's body. Soap leans forward and looks right at me "Smells delicious. Any leftovers, Gaz?" he asks. "Make your own... tins are in the cupboard" - "Awkt, but you made her some.." - "I'm not microwaving soup for you, Soap, piss of mate" - "Fuck sake, ya prick, though we were supposed to be packmates.." The duo go back and forward like this in a light hearted tone for a couple of minutes. "I - I don't mind letting you have this.." I offer anxiously, shakily holding my plate out towards Gaz, feeling guilty that I'd taken their food.

Gaz gently guides the plate back into my lap. "Don't be silly, bug, you haven't even started it and you haven't eaten properly for ages. Get eating!" He instructs, I listen - ever obedient. I gently lift the spoon to my mouth and slurp the soup into my mouth. I swear it's the best thing I've ever tasted. I hum quietly to myself. Unbeknownst to me, Gaz and Soap are watching me with a fond smile on their faces. I eat about half of the bowl, and a slice of bread before feeling utterly stuffed. I slowly lift my gaze from the food and glance at Gaz. "I can't eat any more.." I whisper. "You sure? You've not eaten much.." - "I'm full.." I reassure him. Soap suddenly sits forward in his seat again, making me shrink back slightly again. "Ya done, Lass?" - "mmhmm" I murmer shyly - "Here, hand it over then!" he says keenly. Before I can even process his words, he has leant over Gaz and stolen the bowl and plate from me and was groaning in pleasure at the taste. I blush slightly, embarrassed, that he hasn't even replaced the spoon I had been using. "For fuck sake, Soap, you know she's jumpy. Tone it down a bit - yeah?" Gaz suggests to Soap. "Aye, sorry just starvin' - Sorry wee'yin" he gobbles around a mouthful of bread. I just stare at the scene in front of me, lost for words.

With warm food in my belly for the first time in forever, I start feeling sleepy. I slowly unzip Gaz's jacket, now that I'm warm again, and hand it back to him. "Thanks.." I whisper, placing it on his lap. Gaz tries not to show his disappointment that you are no longer wearing his jacket - his scent. "Are you wanting me to show you to the spare room? Think it's set up ready to use.." he offers. "If that's ok.. I - I don't want to be a hassle.." - "None of that, now.. C'mon, follow me."

I stand and follow obediently again. I enter the hallway after Gaz. The walls are wallpapered with a white floral pattern. It's light and airy. Gaz walks up a set of stairs to an upper level, I follow him closely. He stops on the upper landing and points to the left hallway. "It's the second door on the right. You'll have your own bathroom too." I nod and hesitate before walking independently down the hallway, feeling a little insecure, but deciding to be brave anyway. I get to the door and slowly twist the door handle. I glance back at Gaz who just nods and turns to go back down stairs to join the rest of his pack.

I step into the room and take stock of everything in it. The walls are covered in blue and white striped wallpaper. There is a window on the back wall of the room. I check out the bathroom which is to the right hand side of the room - it has a shower, sink and a toilet, with another smaller window behind it. I step back into the main room and look at the bed. I hesitate before slowly lowering myself down on it. It's soft. I should feel comfortable, but instead I feel exposed. Unsafe. I decide to look around the bathroom again, digging through the cupboards to see what I could use. I find a few toothbrushes, still in the packs, so I remove one and hurry to brush my teeth. It's funny how such a small bit of self care can make me feel cleaner. I decide to strip from my filthy clothes and step into the shower. I turn the water on, accidentally blasting myself with freezing water before it started to heat up. I don't even squeal, being all too accustomed to cold showers. I do, however, moan when the water starts to heat up. I check out all of the soaps and products on the rack in the shower. It all looks like male stuff but I don't care. I absolutely lather myself in it. I repeat it several times over. Lather. Rinse. Lather. Rinse. And so on...

I finally step from the shower when my skin starts to wrinkle. I haven't felt this clean since - well - probably ever! The wall of steam floods the bedroom when I leave the bathroom. I get myself dry and search the chest of drawers for something clean to sleep in. From the looks of the contents inside, it looks like standard military style clothing. I find some dark joggers and a khaki t-shirt. I quickly dress, finding myself having to seriously tighten the drawstring around my waist of the trousers and roll the sleeves up of the long sleeved t-shirt. I climb into bed and pull the covers tightly around me. I toss and turn before finally dozing off.

*Gaz's POV*

I show her the directions to the room she is to stay in, deciding to stay back and let her check it out for herself. Soap had stayed in that room a few nights ago when he pissed everyone off so badly, Ghost decided to punish him by throwing him out of the pack bed for the night. I just hope he had left it clean enough for her. I walk downstairs to the rest of my pack. I sit back down in my space next to Soap, who immediately chucks his legs over me, to rest them on my lap. I massage his legs for him, making him purr. I smile softly at my pack mate.

Price speaks up then. "Kyle - what's going on with the girl then..?" - "She's scared.. terrified. Fuck knows what they've done to her but none of it has been good. I think she is warming up to me though" I reply. He nods in agreement. "Kate sent over her file. It looks like she's been tortured and drugged to comply. Her designation is unknown - but she has been the asset behind all four of the most recent Makarov hits. And several before these too, before we were called up, so she certainly isn't as harmless as she makes out." I find myself nodding too, trying to piece together what all of this means. "Who is she, then?" Soap asks. "Her government name is Y/N Y/L/N - they called her Laika - apparently she was always co-operative, or obedient, I think is the word they used. I guess she was thrashed into submission. They say she is of a gentle, anxious, nature but the drugs helped 'level' her - whatever that means" Price explains.

"Turned her into a puppet, that means. A puppet to do all of their dirty work" I spit back, disgusted and angry. "So the drugs, are they still in her system? Is that why she isn't giving off any scent or signs of her designation?" I ask. "That's something we are going to have to ask her, Kyle. The file mentions that she gets 'topped up' every couple of months when she starts showing resistance" - "Poor girl was trying to fight it" I interrupt Price.

"Don't start getting attached, Garrick." Simon grumbles at me. "Piss off" I snap back.

"I'm tired, let's go to bed, yeah, talk about it in the morning?" I suggest. "Yep, Kyle's right, bed - all of you" Price orders. We all stand and make our way to our room. I glance toward the door of Laika - Y/N's - room and all seems quiet. Hopefully she is sleeping, I think inside my head.

*Back to Laika (Y/N's) POV*

I wake, startled - seeing visions of pools of blood I had been the cause of. Seeing lifeless eyes of those I had killed. I leap out of bed and start feeling my arm for my handkerchief. Shit shit shit. I'd left it somewhere. I slide down the wall panicking, trying to remember where the hell I had put it. All this time at the facility and I'd managed not to lose it. It comes to me all of a sudden. Gaz's jacket. My handkerchief is in the pocket of his jacket. I sneak out of the room and try to quietly tip toe downstairs. The stairs are a bit creaky but being quiet is my speciality. I finally find my way to the room we had been sitting in when I had returned the jacket to Gaz. It wasn't there. My stomach sinks. A single tear falls from my eye. I slump on to the couch and try not to weep. I can't go rooting about looking for it. I will just have to calm myself down and go back to my room. I try to gather myself.

Five, or so, minutes later, I stand and start to make my way back up the stairs. I avoid all of the creaky parts of each stair and successfully make it to the upper landing. I turn toward my room and gently close the door. I fail to notice the dark, masked Alpha, watching my every move. He slinks back into his pack's room, not waking them.

I try to settle back in the bed, failing miserably. I find myself crawling under the bed with a pillow and blanket, feeling safer in an enclosed space. I finally settle into a restless sleep.

[kaziwi]

Beach Day!!

Character(s): Zoro, Nami

WC: 832

Note: agagaga plz request stuff im running low on ideas

Zoro

The party pooper of beach days…

He likes to think of the beach as a new terrain to train in rather than hangout with you

You insist he should relax, but he’s very very against it

Somehow always convinces you to train with him, so you end up working even more than you did before your vacation

It was the perfect day to spend at the beach. The sun was high in the sky and there was the perfect breeze so you wouldn’t be too hot. The smell of salt water and meat that Sanji was grilling filled your nose. It was honestly the perfect day, except your boyfriend was busy lifting instead of laying next to you. You’ve asked him MULTIPLE times to stop training and just hangout with you, but he always said no. You knew that asking him again was pointless, but you decided to go up and ask him anyways.

“(Y/N)-swannnnn~” Sanji yelled from his grilling station, “Stop worrying about that stupid moss head and come over here with me!!!”

“Yeah (Y/N), Zoro is just gonna be weird and train the whole time, come lay with me and Robin,” Nami said, patting the seat next to her. You were enticed by her offer but declined as you continued to make your way to your boyfriend.

After walking a little bit further from the rest of the crew, you found Zoro swinging his giant weights around. He seemed to notice your presence, but kept swinging his weight back and forth above his head.

“Heyyyy Zoroooo,” you sang out, “Whatcha doinggggg”

“If you ask me to come back with you the answer is already no,” Zoro said not loosing his concentration.

“Come on Zoro, why can’t you just train later, I wanna spend time with you.” Zoro put down his weight and turned to you, “I did bring some smaller weights if you wanna join me.”

“Are you serious???? Why can’t we just relax at the beach??”

“Look how about this, do a few reps with me and then we can go to the beach.”

“You promise???”

“I promise.”

A few hours later you both walked back just in time for dinner. You were covered in sweat and exhausted, but glad that you now get to spend time with your boyfriend at the beach <3

Nami

Beach days are usually the one day she gets to truly relax

No navigating, not having to worry about marines, spending the day with you: it’s a dream come true

The one thing she hates though is getting her hair wet (she’s just like a cat :3 )

“Nami-SANNNNN, (Y/N)-SWANNNN I have your drinks!!” Sanji yelled twirling towards you. A tray of two drinks was placed in between your and Nami’s beach chairs. You each took a drink and sipped it in delight. Sanji always knew the perfect drink to make on a hot summer day.

"I could get used to this," Nami said while raising her arms up to stretch.

"Yeah, shame the log post resets tomorrow," you replied while sipping down the delicious, fruity drink.

"Ugh. Don't remind me. I don't want this to ever end." You chuckled at her response and grabbed her hand. She was right, this really was a peaceful, relaxing day. You closed you eyes and laid you head back on your chair, hoping to sleep a little.

Just then it felt like the sun was covered up, maybe some clouds were covering the sky, or Sanji was putting an umbrella over you and your girlfriend. You slowly opened your eyes to see what was blocking the sun, and were met face to face with a bucket of water being poured on you.

"Come on Usopp we gotta run!" You hear Luffy's voice as you wipe the water from your eyes. You turn to look at Nami who is also soaking wet. She looks absolutely devastated, her orange hair was soaked and clung to her body. Both of you were in utter shock that neither of you had a word. In all honesty Nami looked really attractive like this, you just couldn't look away.

Nami noticed you staring and quickly turned away, "Don't look at me," she stuttered, "I never look good with my hair wet.."

She never looked good??? Nami literally looked like a goddess right now how could she thinks she doesn't look good. You leaned over and cupped her cheeks, forcing her to turn to look at you.

"Well I think you look beautiful," you said as you gave her a quick peck on the lips. Her cheeks reddened to a degree you've never seen before and she quickly pulled away, "Thank you..." she said shyly.

"If I remember correctly, Franky said he made some new water-guns, how about we get some revenge," you said, a giant smirk growing across your face.

"I like the sound of that," Nami grinned and grabbed your hand and started running towards Franky, ready to get her revenge.

[snowieluna]

Random post popped up reminding me that Viibryd exists and I used to take it. The brain zaps were hell, and my doctor didn't believe that was a side effect 🙃

Life is weird. Last week I freaked out because JR is moving to the lab. Body had a "our powers combined" moment of shitty things that led to me crying in the bathroom at work, then continuing to cry at my station while trying to hide it. Period was early, I made a small mistake not cleaning the pill counter sooner, JR pointing that out triggered rejection sensitivity, and Daylight Savings seemed to be bringing on seasonal depression.

So when I found out he was going, I panicked. I got attached super quick and didn't want him to go. Also felt a little conflicted because I had decided to stay in filling rather than pursue moving to the lab partly because of him. I thought he was pretty cool and I wanted to get to know him better. But I learned that he's been wanting to move to the lab for months, and it feels shitty not being happy for him. But him leaving brought up a bunch of memories from CR leaving at the last job. How I had to go outside so I could cry in peace and try to breathe. That bad pain in your chest from being abandoned again. (Yeah dramatic brain is dramatic.)

So when I was back at my station and trying to calm down, I was failing. Because I'm partly focused on trying to breathe, trying to fill testosterone orders, and trying to not be super obvious with my current breakdown. So I'm breaking boxes from packing syringes when my brain goes to "I could cut myself with my box cutter. It could look like an accident. It might help. It'd be logical to be crying from a bad cut. And maybe I'd feel better. The pain is a little shock. And I deserve it, right? I'm a shitty friend for not being happy for him." But I pushed past the thought. And honestly later on, he kind of made me feel better. I'm not sure if he noticed that I was off, but he got me talking about music and it helped.

So onto this week. I went in, depressed that he was probably not going to be there, but he was still in filling. I heard bits of him talking to the others in Spanish, that he might be staying until our other coworker gets back from vacation. (Which tbh I kinda thought would happen. It doesn't make sense to have us down two people at night.) But he was kinda in an off mood, besides me still being in depression mode, so the vibes have been weird.

Now another coworker from the day shift has moved to nights, so that helps with us being short. So now JR is gonna start lab stuff on Friday. I've been trying to be less reliant on him this week. Bugging him less for help. A different coworker from the day shift joked that I should be asking JR for help when I couldn't reach something today, and I kinda shot back "Well he's leaving me, so..." So later on when I carried a bunch of meds downstairs, he was like "Hey! You're good. You don't even need me." It still kinda hurt, like no dude, I'm still gonna miss you.

Finally got the courage to be like "So I've had something I wanted to ask, but I didn't want to freak you out." Cue our coworker popping back up to drop off the pill counter. Yo my heart was pounding. Like damn I've been psyching myself the past ten minutes 😭 After she went back downstairs, I continued. "So you remember I said I was in an open relationship? Well, is that something you'd be interested in?" And he said right now, no, but it's nothing he'd freak out about. I said something like "That's fine. I had to ask, though. You're really cute." 🙈 He said he appreciated the directness, and we both agreed that signals are hard to read. He seemed a tiny bit flustered after, but we went to visit the pharmacist's bulldog downstairs. Then I babbled about cosplay, and it felt comfortable again.

Like obviously I'm bummed I won't get to do anything with him. Hell, he accidentally flicked me with his hair earlier when he turned quick and I was more like 😳 than annoyed I got hit in the face. He's still gonna give me the doki dokis tomorrow, but I'm glad I got to ask, and not keep thinking "what if." Plus he knows how I feel and if he changes his mind, I'm here 😆

So I guess that's the end of that? I'm hoping we still get to catch up more on breaks sometimes.

[panther-os]

I have So Many 911 wips open on my computer rn, list and snippets below the cut

Snow crunched under boots, and Razor swiveled. “Friendlies!” Neyo called, one of the 501st medics right behind him as he walked out of the woods. “Her name is Maddie Buckley,” Stak reported to the medic. “No obvious injuries besides that black eye and that shallow cut on her face. Blood’s not hers.” “Alright, Maddie, I’m Kix,” the medic introduced himself. “Let’s see what’s going on.” “Report,” Neyo ordered. Razor stood at attention. “Her husband was chasing her, armed with at least a slugthrower. We haven’t touched the body yet. She grabbed my blaster, said she wasn’t running anymore, and shot him.” “He hurt me,” Maddie cried, as Kix worked, apparently eavesdropping. “He killed that man - oh, God, he killed Chimney. He chased me across the continent, he wasn’t ever gonna stop.” “He’s stopped now,” Kix said gently. “He can’t hurt anyone ever again. Now, trauma is funny, you might feel trapped in this moment or in others from the past, but in every future moment, he’s stopped.” Maddie tipped over and sobbed into his shoulder.

Friendly reminder relevant for later: I'm mixed Chicane/Tsalagi. I don't know everything, I'm reconnecting and I'm not AMAB, but the argument between two Brown people about indigenous heritage reflects my own struggles and internal dialogue and Eddie's struggles with masculinity are based on insider understanding.

Untitled TCW crossover - The 118 keeps running into the 91st, just one of several clone battalions trapped on earth and trying to stay under the radar. Eventual Ponds/Josh

Nate (Star Wars crossover) - The 118 is called to a human trafficking sting because of their reputation for pulling off the impossible. They're led to Nate/Jangotat/Alpha-98 who has been tortured and has vital readings that shouldn't be possible. Eddie identifies him as a possible military project and refuses to let anyone take him away. Eventual Chimney/Maddie/Nate

“Eds?” Buck murmured softly. Eddie shook his head and started snapping out orders. “Get him down and put him on oxygen and a nebulized sedative. The minute he comes to, he’s going to start swinging and we don’t have the space or the numbers for that.” “Christ,” Hen cursed, readjusting her bag over her shoulder. “He doesn’t look like he has the strength to twitch, let alone swing.” “He’s a soldier,” Eddie said, pulling equipment out of his bag, “and he’s been tortured. Trust me.” “Seen this before, Eddie?” Bobby asked, not unkindly. Eddie scowled up at the unconscious man’s injuries. “Close enough.” Bobby nodded. “Alright, take the lead.”

Olivia - Buck 1.0's daughter surfaces while Eddie is still recovering from being shot. Eventual Buddie.

Buck shook his head, then sat beside Chris at the table. “I learned that I’m a dad. I have a kid.” Chris snorted. “That’s not new,” he laughed. “No?” “No.” “Who’s my kid then?” Chris shook his head, looking at Buck like he was being especially silly. “Me,” he said. “I’m your kid and you’re my Buck.” Buck blinked in shock, flopping back against the back of his chair. “I think your dad might have something to say about that.” “He said it first,” Chris said, then frowned to himself. “Not the kid part, though.” Buck chuckled nervously, interlacing his fingers over his stomach as he bounced his knee. “Yeah, I’m sure. Okay, but, if you insist, I have another kid. A little girl.” Chris tilted his head. “I have a sister? What’s her name?”

tiny black panthers - Mid-season 1, Buck joins the adopting post-Black Panther black cat adoption craze.

I don't have an excerpt for this one yet, but I did look through adoption listings currently in the LA area for inspo and found two black kittens I'm pretty sure I am legally required to give Buck - Sharpie and Athena. (Backup links because hopefully they get adopted soon. 🤞)

machismo - Eddie struggles with sexual, cultural, and gender identity. Buck thirsts and helps. Eventual distinguished bigender demi-uranic Eddie/disaster cis+ bisexual Buck. ("Cis+" here meaning "had a gender journey, wound up being a gender circle".)

“No, no.” Eddie sat up straighter. “You don’t understand. I literally cannot be gay.” Hen and Bobby shared a look. “Is there a problem I need to be aware of?” the captain asked. “What?” Eddie waved his hand in the air. “No, you know I’m supportive. But I can’t be gay.” “Why not?” Buck asked. Eddie struggled for words before landing on “I’m Mexican.” The others laughed. “Better tell Carlos,” Buck teased. Eddie sucked in a sharp, panicked breath between his teeth. “Have you ever been a gay Mexican man? I guarantee Carlos has his own problems, and I respect the hell out of him for however he deals with them, but I have Christopher to think of. Like I said, I cannot be gay.” He shook his head. “You all make fun of macho men, because to you it’s a negative stereotype. I was raised with machismo - the good and the bad - as an ideal to live up to. I cannot be gay.” [...] “But it does say it’s alright to be feminine, right? Which is usually the biggest worry about being gay?” Eddie sighed and knocked the side of his head against the truck window. “Machismo literally means masculinity. So if all those things are part of machismo, none of them are feminine in my culture.” “Oh,” Buck said. “You know it’s alright to be feminine sometimes,” Hen said. “Not for me,” Eddie said. “I’d really like to drop this.” Chim popped his gum in the uncomfortable silence that followed. “Hey, what if you topped?” Buck asked. “Buck!” everyone yelled.

Untitled 911 Fic - Chris helps Buck realize and accept that he has ADHD, just not in the stereotypical way.

Chris waved a finger in the direction of Buck's temple. "You don't have enough brain chemicals, but your brain makes more of them when you're happy. So if it's something you like, you can get hyperfocused on it; and if it's something you don't like, your brain starts ignoring it and looking for something you do so that you can get enough chemicals." "Yeah?" Buck asked. Chris nodded. "You like being a firefighter, and you like researching things, so you can focus on them and remember them. You like cooking now and can focus on it now, but you told me that you didn't like it before Captain Bobby starting teaching you, and Miss Maddie said you were worse than Dad when you didn't like it because you couldn't focus." Buck's mouth dropped open a little. "Because my brain didn't get the chemicals from it?" "Right," Chris said.

Untitled 911 Fic 2 Electric Boogaloo - A second generation Nahua immigrant (OFC) joins the 118, immediately pisses Eddie off, and then apologizes and works to earn his trust. They become friends. Established Buddie.

"Díaz, eh? Cualli tonalli. Notōcā Silvina Chavez, notōcā Nahuatl Citlalli. Nehua Guerrero. ¿Campa tihuala?" "…. I understood 'Nahuatl' and 'campa'." "Where's your family from?" "Texas." "Originally? Before the Annexation?" "Ah, no, Ciudad Juárez, my abuelo worked across the border in El Paso and they got green cards to be closer to his job. It's basically the same city, you wouldn't know you were crossing if not for Border Patrol." "Juárez…. Apache, then? Chiricahua Apache?" "Mestizo conversos." "Ahhhhh. You speak Ladino?" "Ladino is from the Sephardi who fled east first, to the Ottoman. My family fled west first, to the Americas." "I see. It's just a shame." "What is?" "So many self-identified Latinos are just brainwashed Natives. You have indigenous heritage, I can tell by your nose. It's there if you want to reclaim it." "I'm not lost and I don't need you to save me."

friends with miracles - Buck and trans!Eddie have a night together while drunk. Eddie winds up pregnant and decides to carry to term, though he's not sure what he'll do after that. Requited Unrequited Love and Friends to Lovers Buddie (Shannon and Eddie were open poly, and Eddie was the only one of her partners willing to marry her so she didn't have to deal with single mom stigma. Christopher is his kid in every way that matters.)

in your arms lies eternity - Buck winds up with custody of Connor and Kameron's kid for Reasons. Eddie sees him holding the baby and has a Gay Moment.

I don't have a snippet for either of these two, just empty titled and saved docs and a head full of daydreams.

[dbnightingale24]

Menace In Sheets, Menace In the Streets

Andy Barber One Shot

~~

I’m just gonna start this off by saying I’m an asshole. Honestly, relationship wise, I’m happy as hell. So, I don’t know why the fuck I made this. Lol, I’m clearly still working through some trauma. That being said, here ya go! Another fucking novel of angst. Yes, there will be a part 2, but there was no way I was gonna post a 40,000+ story on Tumblr. Sorry, but no no, I’ve gotta stop making these so damn long lol. I was gonna add pictures and a mood board, but it’s so fucking long. Maybe in part 2, if I can control myself. Also, I promise to update and finish my stories soon. I don’t know what my damage is lol. I hope you all enjoy!

Also, fucking SUPPORT SEX WORKERS!!!

Word Count: 38,125 (I’M SORRY)

Warnings: 18+(MINORS DNI),Smut, Sex Worker Reader, Dark(ish) Andy, Sugar Daddy, Daddy Kink, Swearing, Drinking, Unidentified Illness, Loss, Mourning, Coping, Arguing, Open Marriage, Lying (but only a little), Depression, Anxiety, Longing, Regret, Envy, Jealousy, Insecurities, Anger...I think that's it? I’ve been working on this story for almost a month. Be nice to me.

Song(s) That Inspired This Story: I Really Hope You All Like the Playlists I Put Together

Summary: Under the world’s worst circumstances, you find yourself having the one job you swore you’d never have. When you catch the eye of the last person you ever thought would be interested in you, do you take the offer or run for the hills?

I do not give consent for my posts/stories/works to get posted elsewhere. 

~~

You never wanted to work at a Gentleman’s Club. You saw all the hell your best friend went through and told yourself you’d never do it. You told yourself that there was nothing in life that would make you resort to something you despised so much. It’s not that you looked down on the women that worked there. You despised the men.

They all reminded you of your father.

They were older or, at least, old enough; they were usually cheating on their significant others, they were handsy, disrespectful, and they were assholes. Your best friend, Mary, had told you a handful of times how horrible the men at those clubs were. Especially when you slept with them. They treated you like trash and half the time, when all was said and done, they’d just throw the money at you. Which made sense to you; men only respect sex workers until they’ve gotten what they need.

So, you promised yourself that you’d never even consider doing something like that, because you refused to ever let men think they had something over you. You refused to be the crack in someone’s happy marriage. Someone’s happy life.

It’s funny how life has a way of making you eat your own words.

“Your favorite table is asking for you,” Lindsey smiles at you sympathetically.

“Is it Tuesday already?” you groan, looking over at the table full of lawyers eyeing you like starving jackals.

“Hey, they know the rules. They can’t touch you. If they do, they know Samantha won’t allow them back, and they’d rather die than have that.”

“You say that but-”

“But nothing. I know how worthless they can make you feel, even without you taking your clothes off, but do your best to remember that they can’t and won’t do anything to you.”

“I just don’t know why they won’t leave me alone,” you scowl.

“The same reason no other man in this place will leave you alone; they know you’re a virgin.”

“Yeah, why Samantha needed to let them know-”

“Because she’s a cunt who cares about money,” Lindsey snaps as she cleans out a glass before filling it halfway with Jameson.

“Linds,” Allison calls as she makes her way downstairs “Tim is asking for you.”

“For fucks sake, is he alone?” she sighs as she lets her hair down.

“For now,” Allison responds sympathetically.

“Love that for me,” she mutters as puts the last drink on your tray. “Remember, they don’t have any power over you unless you give it to them,” she smiles weakly towards you before walking away and making her way upstairs.

“She’s not wrong,” Lindsey echos softly.

“She isn’t, but still,” you sigh before grabbing the tray and slowly making your way over to the table you dread most.

“Our favorite little cherry,” one of the lawyers smirks and it makes your skin crawl. “How come you’re never as excited to see us as we are to see you?” he questions, feigning hurt.

“Well, you’re always catching me towards the end of my shift-”

“We could make the end of your shift better for you if you’d just let us take you upstairs,” one of the other lawyers smirks suggestively.

“Then what reason would you have to come and see me?” you smile sarcastically.

“Oh, if anything, it’ll give us more reasons to come and see you,”another one chuckles.

“Sorry boys, tonight isn’t your lucky night. Whose card is all of this going on and do you wanna leave it open?” you smile the best you can, feeling extremely uncomfortable as all of them ogle you.

“Mr. Barber here is the big spender of the night,” the first man laughs.

Andy Barber.

The gorgeous, pompous, smug bastard. He came at least three times a week, and you were always his main focus. He liked to look you up and down as you served drinks, served other tables, and cleaned them off. He always had a dirty little smirk tugging at his lips, and tonight is no different.

“Here ya go, Darlin’,” he smiles at you, making you lean across the table so he can get a better view of your cleavage as you grab his card. “Keep it open,” he chuckles.

“Will do,” you mutter, practically snatching it from him.

You hate him. You hate all of them.

However, the tips are generous and money is something you’re in desperate need of at the moment.

What can you do?

As the night wears on, the drunker they get. Some of them disappear upstairs with the other girls, while others stay and let you know just how much they want to take you upstairs. None of them are shy about showing you the tents you give them.

Except Andy.

He’s quiet as he watches you, amusement in his eyes as you do your best to hide just how disgusted you truly are and how much you hate being there.

“It’s last call,” you tell them, finally showing some sign of happiness as the night comes to an end. “Would you like another round or do you wanna close out?”

“I think it’s best we close out. What do ya say, Tyler?” Andy questions the almost passed out man.

“Oh, you’re no fun, Barber,” the man drunkenly mumbles, barely able to stay upright.

“Let me grab the check for you,” you mutter, rolling your eyes.

When Allison hands you the bill, you scoff in disgust.

$512.74.

The fact that these men spend all this money, weekly, only ever adds to your disgust. Plus, what do their wives say? Do they even notice? There’s no way they can’t notice. All of these questions and more run through your head as you make your way over to the table, Andy already ready for you with his pen in hand.

“When are you gonna let me fuck that perfect little cunt?” Tyler drunkenly asks you as Andy snickers, signing off on the bill. “Someone as gorgeous as you? No way you’re really a virgin.”

“It’s time for you all to leave,” you huff, telling yourself that you only have to keep your cool for another 15 minutes.

“Leave our little Cherry alone,” Andy quips, putting on his suit jacket.

“Whatever, as much of a prude as she is, there’s no way she isn’t a virgin. That or shes never been fucked by a real man,” Tyler smiles menacingly.

“You guys get home safe,” you mutter as Andy helps Tyler up.

“You too, Darlin’,” Andy winks at you before he and Tyler make their way to the door, meeting up with the rest of their asshole lawyer buddies.

You roll your eyes as you grab the receipt and check to see if he left you a tip.

$450.00

You shake your head and roll your eyes, but none the less can’t fight the extremely small amount of gratitude you feel towards him. As much of a dickhead as he is, Andy always tips well.

And every little bit helps.

By the time the club is cleaned up and set up for tomorrow, it’s almost 3am and you’re more than ready to go home.

“Y/N, I need to speak with you, it’s important,” your boss calls as you put your jacket on.

“Samantha, it’s really late. You know I have to get home,” you sigh, fishing out your car keys. “Can it wait until tomorrow?”

“Come in early tomorrow,” she states firmly, but you can tell she feels bad about something.

Now what?

“Will do,” you agree with a nod before dashing out.

You practically speed home, hoping that you get there in time. When you pull up, you sigh in relief at the site of the home nurse just leaving.

“I’m so so sorry,” you offer sympathetically, running to meet her at the steps.

“Please don’t be, I’m sorry. I’d stay longer but-”

“No, oh God no! Please don’t worry! Tonight was inventory and deep clean and I couldn’t get out of it,” you grumble, letting your hair down and running a flustered hand through it. “How was she tonight?”

“As good as she’s gonna be,” the nurse offers sympathetically. “Y/N, you have to start preparing-”

“No, things could turn around,” you quickly interrupt, fighting back tears.

“You know what the doctors said.”

“Still...miracles happen all the time,” you smile weakly.

The nurse just nods and gives you a sympathetic smile. “She’s asleep. She was able to keep her food down today and she was pretty lucid. It was a good day.”

“Good...that’s good,” you sniffle before clearing your throat. “You should get home. Once again, I’m so sorry it’s so late, I’ll do better tomorrow.”

“Don’t worry about it. Get some rest,” she offers kindly before walking down the steps and making her way to her car.

You’re quick to get inside and change into your nightclothes, before brushing your teeth then making your way back downstairs and into the little makeshift hospice room.

“Is that you, Sweet Pea?” your mother calls softly.

“Hey mommy, it’s me. You should be asleep.”

“I can never sleep comfortably until you’re home,” she smiles softly, looking up at you. “How was your shift at the grocery store?”

“Good. Slow. Why we have a 24 hour grocery store, I don’t know. I’m grateful for it though. The pay is good.”

“They’re lucky to have you,” she smiles before she starts coughing, a few droplets of blood coming out.

“Mommy, you need your rest so you can build up your strength,” you quip, quickly pouring her some water and handing it to her.

“Sweet Pea,” she starts after catching her breath “you know I’m not-”

“It’s late,” you quickly cut her off. “It’s late and we both need rest. I love you,” you smile weakly before kissing her forehead then settling in the chair by her bed.

“I love you,” she responds weakly, and you know she’s worried about you.

As you start drifting off to sleep, you try to think of anything to keep her around just a little bit longer. If you’re doing the devil’s work just to keep up with her medical bills, there’s gotta be something out there in this big wide universe that’s gonna help you out...right?

Andy’s P.O.V

“You were out late last night,” Laurie mutters as I make my way into our bedroom, picking out a tie for the day.

“You have your life and I have mine. Isn’t that what we agreed to? What you wanted?” I scoff, annoyed with having to deal with the third degree again.

“I know what I said, Andy,” she snaps “I just didn’t think you’d spend half the week staying out late as all hell.”

“Yeah well, you have your fun and I have my fun. I don’t say anything to you when you spend all night out, and I have to hear about it, do I? You cheated, you said you wanted an open marriage, and you said you wanted a divorce when he graduates. From what I can tell, you’re getting everything you want,” I smile mischievously at her.

God, I love seeing just how much she hates living with the choices shes made.

“I didn’t think I’d barely see you. The only time I see you is dinner and when we’re taking Jacob out.”

“That’s what you wanted!” I snap, finally hitting my boiling point with her.

“I know, Andy! I just-”

“Then shut up and drop it!”

It’s not like I mean to lose my temper with her, but I’m also done keeping my cool. During Jacob’s trial, she gave up on us, not me. She got caught cheating, not me. She stopped believing in Jacob, not me. She demanded an open marriage and now bitches about it every week. Why the hell should I have to play nice? Why the hell should I care that she’s upset?

She didn’t give a fuck when I was.

“You two fighting again?” Jacob asks lazily as I make my way into the kitchen.

“It’s nothing for you to worry about, bud. Did you study for that exam?”

“Yeah, but mom didn’t wanna review any of it with me.”

“She didn’t want to or you didn’t want to ask her?”

“She didn’t want to. I asked her while she was watching some Hallmark movie and she said it wasn’t a good time. I asked her again an hour later, after her third glass of wine, and she told me to ask you when you got home.”

“She knows I work late,” I mutter, irritation over childish behavior showing itself. “Well, just go over the notes at school, I’m sure you’re gonna do great. You coming home for dinner?”

“No, because you won’t be home and having dinner alone with her sucks. Sarah’s parents have been inviting me over a lot anyway, so I figured I’ll just hangout there we’ll go to a party at Sam’s.”

“Whoa, when did you tell me about a party?”

“I didn’t think you’d mind since you’re always working and mom likes to pretend we don’t exist.”

“Be that as it may,” I bite, swallowing the pain I feel at how out of control all of this is getting, “you don’t make choices like that without asking us first. Who’s gonna be at this party?”

“Dad, I’m not 10 years old. I know how to-”

“That’s not the point here, bud. I know you’re almost out of the house and off to college, but for the time being, you’re still a child and living in this house. Now, who’s gonna be at this party?”

“I don’t know, half the class,” he sighs, frustrated with me. Probably frustrated with everything.

It’s not like I can blame him.

“Any drinking? Drugs?”

“Probably,” he shrugs.

“Jacob-”

“I know better, dad. Plus, I’m not gonna do anything that would put Sarah at risk. Not after everything we’ve been through,” he sighs heavily.

“I want you home no later than 12,” I contend, the guilt becoming too much.

“It’s a Friday!”

“12:30 Jacob. I mean it. I don’t want you sleeping all day tomorrow. We’re going fishing in the morning and I’m not about to spend 20 minutes dragging your ass outta bed.”

“Fine, fine,” he scoffs sheepishly. “I gotta go.”

“Have a good day, buddy,” I smile, wrapping him in a hug. God, I’m gonna miss this little shit when he goes off to school. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Dad,” he smiles, giving me a halfhearted hug, before letting go and making his way out. “I love you, mom,” he says as he meets her at the landing.

“I love you too, Sweetie. Have a great day at school,” she smiles, wrapping him in a tight hug.

I genuinely wonder how much she means that.

With one final nod and wave, he’s off and out the door.

“You told him he could go to that party?” Laurie scowls.

“He’s responsible and he works hard. He deserves a night out.”

“You would know.”

“Why didn’t you help him study with his exam?”

“If you would’ve been home early enough, you would’ve been able to. Maybe if you stopped spending so much time with all of your little whores-”

“What I do in my spare time is none of your fucking concern. When our son is home and asking for help, your first thought shouldn’t be to fuck me over,” I bite before grabbing my briefcase.

“You used to not be such a dick.”

“Yeah well, you used to love me. Shit changes,” I shrug as I make my way out.

“Are you gonna be home for dinner tonight?”

“No,” I call over my shoulder, continuing my way out. “Maybe you should call up one of your boyfriends and fuck him in our bed again. I won’t catch you this time.”

**

“You don’t need to spend so many hours working,” your mother sighs as you bring her lunch. “I have some money-”

“Mom please,” you sigh with a soft smile. “You’ve worked hard your whole life to take care of me and Viv, let me work hard and take care of you.”

“How is your sister?”

“I don’t know and I don’t care,” you huff.

“Sweet Pea, I’d really like for you two to work things out before I-”

“She deserted us, Ma. Just like dad did. She blames you and...no. If she wants to make things right with me, she can start by making them right with you.”

“She can help with-”

“We don’t need her help. We’ve been on time with all of the bills and we’re getting by.”

“Y/N, your father called last night while you work at work,” she tells you softly and that has you freezing in place on the chair by her bed. “He said he’s been trying to speak to you for the last few months and you haven’t been responding.”

“I have nothing to say to him.”

“Sweet Pea, I’m not gonna be around much-”

“Mom-”

“No, you’re gonna listen to me!” she snaps. “I know that you’re not ready to accept it and I’m not ready to leave you, but the fact of the matter is that I’m dying. In a few months, it’s just gonna be you and I don’t want you to be alone. I know you have Mary, and she’s practically your sister, but she isn’t blood. If they’re trying to make things right with you...” she starts to cry.

“Hey,” you call softly, fighting back your own tears as you gently get in next to her “I’m gonna be alright. You raised me...I’ll be alright.”

“I’m so sorry,” she sobs into your shoulder.

“None of this is your fault. Not him cheating, not him leaving, not Vivian taking his side, and not you getting sick. You have nothing to be sorry for. You did the best you could and this...this is where we’re at,” you sob, quickly wiping away your own tears. “Besides, maybe-”

“They’re no miracles coming our way, baby. I just want to enjoy these last few months with you the best I can, and I want you to forgive the people who love you before I’m gone.”

“Lets talk about something else for a while, okay?” you smile weakly, you both laying back. “Literally anything else.”

“Have you met anyone special yet?” she chuckles, wiping away her tears and you can’t help but throw your back out and let out a full bodied laugh.

“No, no, no I have not.”

“You are the pickiest person I’ve ever known.”

“I’m not picky,” you quickly defend with a smile “I just refuse to settle. Every guy that approaches me is a tool. Just because someone is attractive doesn’t mean they deserve my attention.”

“Oh, I’ve set a horrible example for you,” she chuckles softly, shaking her head.

“You’ve done nothing of the sort,” you smile before kissing the top of her head. “Nothing of the sort.”

You two spend the rest of your time together watching soap operas and taking Buzzfeed quizzes, before you force yourself to get ready for work.

“What do you wanna do this weekend?” you ask your mother as the nurse sets herself up.

“Go for a hike,” she smirks at you.

“A true smart ass.”

“Maybe we can have your sister over for lunch.”

“I’ll take hell no for $300.”

“Y/N.”

“Maybe,” you sigh as you make your way over to her and kiss her on the cheek. “I love you and I’ll try not to wake you when I get in.”

“Tell those grocery store not to keep you so late tonight.”

“I promise I won’t let them,” you smile.

You thank her nurse, Gloria , for agreeing to come early before rushing out and quickly making your way to work. The tone and look on Samantha’s face last night had you riddled with anxiety, because whatever she was going to tell you wasn’t going to be good. When you reach the club, you don’t even bother to change, you just go straight to her office. The looks you’re getting from the girls around you only make your anxiety worse.

What the fuck is about to happen.

“You didn’t even bother to change?” Samantha scoffs as you make your way into her office.

“My mother thinks I work at a grocery store and I have severe anxiety. I can change after we talk,” you state flatly as you take a seat in front of her desk.

She takes a deep breath and you feel as if you’re going to throw up. “Now, Y/N, I don’t want you to freak out-”

“Sam, please just tell me.”

“You’re gonna be Andy’s girl...Andy’s girl alone.”

“Andy who? Andy Barber?! No...no. NO!”

“Just calm down,” she tries to reason. “He’s not gonna do anything to you-”

“Bullshit! He has a reputation around here for a reason! I’m not about to be one of his playthings! I refuse!”

“If you don’t do it, I have to fire you.”

“Sam, I’m a damn good worker and I bring in a lot of money!”

“My hands are tied on this,” she sighs sympathetically.

“It’s your club!”

“It’s complicated,” is all she responds with.

You’re quiet, accepting your fate with as much dignity as you can. “He’s gonna be here tonight?”

“Yes and you’re to go straight to his room, 793.”

“Where he can do-”

“Y/N, I promise you. He’s not going to do anything to you that you don’t allow. I didn’t tell him your situation, but I did tell him that you’ve got your own reasons to work here. You reason for not going off with guys is your own and he’s going to respect that.”

“Sure he is,” you scoff. “Well, I guess I better start getting ready.”

“Y/N, I’m truly sorry about this,” she tells you sincerely.

“Yeah, me too.”

As you change in the bathroom, you barely get into your skirt before you burst out into tears. Why had you talked yourself into taking this job? Why didn’t you just keep working 3 jobs? Wasn’t that better than this? Wasn’t it better to suffer the exhaustion than to suffer with the weight of this?

‘You have more time with your mother this way, and more money to help with things she needs,’ you kept telling yourself over and over again.

“Sweetie, it’s not gonna be that bad,” Lindsey tries to calm you through the door.

“Mary warned me about Andy!”

“If there’s anyone who should warn you, it should be Mary,” she sighs “but he’s not gonna force himself on you. If you tell him to stop, he will!”

“I want nothing to do with him!”

“Just don’t fall for his bullshit, that’s all. He likes to build girls up and takes joy out of breaking hearts. You’re smarter than that. Smarter than him.”

“I fucking hate this.”

“I know you do, babe. I know,” she sighs opening the door and wrapping you in a hug “but it’s gonna be okay. Just keep your head on straight and you’ll be okay.”

You can’t stop your shaking, so Lindsey finishes does your makeup for you. You put your hair up in a high bun and take a deep breath.

“Hun, if Samantha says she told him not to do anything to you, then she did. She may be a roaring bitch, but she is very strict about keeping us safe.”

“I just need to keep reminding myself how much I need this job.”

“How’s she doing?”

“Dying,” you scoff humorlessly. “This day fucking sucks, I swear to God.”

“Well, isn’t Mary coming home for the weekend? We can go out! You, me, Allison, and Mary!”

“Don’t you and Allison have work tomorrow? I don’t wanna get either of you in trouble. Plus, I can’t afford for my mother-”

“One night won’t kill Samantha. She can give our shifts to Madison and Jillian, since they’re bitching so much about lack of shifts.”

“If Jillian and Madison find out they’re covering shifts so you two can hangout with me, they’re gonna hate me even more.”

“Who gives a fuck? Both of them are the worst kind of scum. Allison and I will take off and we’ll all go out on Saturday.”

“There’s still my mother-”

“We’ll scrape up some coins and pay for it.”

“Lindsey no. I can’t ask-”

“You’re not asking me anything. I’m offering and I know Allison will be more than happy to help. Besides, its been forever since we all got to hangout with each other.”

“Linds...are you sure?”

“Yes, now lets go out there and get this night over with as quickly as we can,” she encourages, pulling you out of the bathroom.

“I don’t want to!” you groan, slowly following her lead.

“I’ll tell you one thing, he’s gonna have a hard time not wanting to touch you,” she smirks.

“LINDS!”

“I’m sorry,” she laughs “I couldn’t resist!”

“I’m finding you both in a better mood than I thought you’d in,” Allison smiles as she meets you two at the bar.

“You missed all the tears and stress,” Lindsey smiled sarcastically.

“I mean, not be a bitch, but I’m happy I did. I probably would have screamed at Samantha,” Allison scowls.

“None of that because we’re asking Samantha for tomorrow off so we can hangout with babycakes and Mary tomorrow.”

“Yes! I’ll be on my best behavior tonight!”

“We’re also gonna put together some money for someone to watch her mom while we’re out tomorrow.”

“Sounds good to me,” Allison beams.

“You two are too good to me,” you smile before wrapping them both in a tight hug.

Lindsey and Allison do their best to keep your mind occupied until Samantha announces that the club is open for the night.

“Just take a deep breath, you’ve got this,” Allison reassures the best she can before making her way over to the bar.

“Remember what I told you,” Lindsey smiles, following suit as she lets her hair down. “Keep your head on straight, no matter what, and you’ll be fine,” she promises before walking off.

You aren’t sure whether you’re supposed to be serving tables or not, but you figure it best to look busy instead of waiting for Andy to saunter in. Besides, keeping busy, helps your mind stay busy. However, you don’t even have a chance to start taking orders before Marisol lets you know that Andy’s in his room and waiting for you.

You make your way over to the bar, asking for a tray with a glass and a bottle of Old Rip Van Winkle. Allison gives you a weak but reassuring smile and all you can offer is a small nod before grabbing the tray and making your way upstairs.

‘Your mother is worth all of this. This job helps you take care of her the best you can,’ you repeat to yourself as you get on the elevator and make your way up to the floor he’s on. When you finally reach the floor you slowly make your way down the hall to room 793.

‘Of course he gets the suite,’ you think to yourself as you knock on the door. ‘You’ve gone through worse, you can do this,’ you tell yourself.

“Didn’t think you’d get here so quick,” Andy smirks as he opens the door and steps aside for you to make your way in.

“Wasn’t much of a trip,” you mumble as you make your way inside and look around.

You’ve never been in any of the rooms and aren’t sure what to expect, but you don’t find yourself being all that surprised by the crimson color walls and sexual paintings hanging up. The black satin pillows on the crimson red sofa do nothing to heighten your experience.

In a sense: everything is just how you expect it to be.

“There’s only one glass here, why?” Andy questions, opening the bottle of bourbon and pouring a glass.

“I can’t drink.”

“Are you underage?”

“No, I’m working.”

“Hmm, you are, aren’t you?” he chuckles softly before going into the tiny kitchen area and grabbing himself a glass. “You work for me now, don’t you?”

“Haven’t I always?”

“Now, you only work for me...we’ll just keep it under the guise of you still working for this little club,” he smirks as he pours you a drink. “However, Samantha told me I’m not to do anything to you that you don’t want or ask for. I’ll respect that,” he agrees as he hands you the glass.

“Gee, thanks,” you mutter, taking the glass from him and looking at it.

Did you really want to have a drink with Andy Barber?

“You are going to have to adapt to your schedule-”

“No,” you stated firmly, meeting his heated gaze.

“No?”

“No, you’re going to have to adjust yours. If you want me to be your girl, and yours alone, then you’re going to have to meet my needs,” you finish, taking a sip of your drink, hoping to keep your resolve as you feel it start to chip away.

You really can’t afford to lose this job.

Andy chuckles before looking you over. “You really are a pistol aren’t you?”

“You’ve forced me into a corner and I don’t like it.”

“What corner? I always tip you well, I keep my hands to myself, and I keep my comments to myself.”

“The corner of making me choose this or my job.”

“Oh Sweetheart, that’s Samantha’s doing. Sure, I keep her out of trouble, but if she’d run a cleaner operation, she wouldn’t have to worry about me covering up anything, now would she?”

“Whatever business you two have doesn’t concern me. I can only look out for myself and that’s what I intend to do.”

“And if I don’t agree?”

“Then I guess I’m out of a job,” you shrug, secretly hoping he won’t accept your terms and conditions.

Andy looks you over before he speaks. “Take your shirt and bra off.”

“Excuse me?”

“What part has you confused?”

“I thought you said-”

“I didn’t say I wasn’t going to touch or look at you. Now, I told you to take your shirt and bra off,” he smirks at you. “I need to make sure I’m getting my money’s worth. While you’re at it, let your hair down. I wanna see as much of you as I can.”

You take a deep breath, reminding yourself how much need this job, before slowly removing the extremely tight uniform top followed by your bra. When you take him take a deep breath, your toes curl as you let your hair down.

Just because you’re repulsed by the man, doesn’t mean you’re not happy at the fact he finds you attractive. You have standards but that doesn’t make you an idiot.

“Fuck, I’m tempted to tell you take that skirt off, but I don’t think I’ll be able to follow the rules if I do,” he groans as adjusts himself on the sofa. “Spin for me.”

You quietly do as your told, closing your eyes and praying that by some miracle, the clock has sprung forward by 6 hours and you can go home.

“Jesus, why can’t you adjust your schedule? What’s so important that-”

“It doesn’t matter why I can’t. I just can’t. Yes, it is that important and no, I won’t budge. I’m not an idiot, Mr. Barber. I know just how much money I stand to lose if I don’t make you happy, but they’re certain things I just won’t negotiate on.”

“It’s always about money with you girls,” he chuckles, taking a sip of your drink.

“& it’s always about sex with you boys,” you bite back, losing your temper.

It’s not like you mean to lose your patience, but it’s not as if he knows anything about you. What right does he have to question you and your reasons for doing what you do?

“You want your weekends off and Mondays, right? So, I can’t fuck you, can’t see you on weekends, and I don’t get to ask about your personal life. Any other rules you need me to follow for this to be mutually enjoyable?” he questions with a cocked eyebrow, his eyes still glued to you.

“You don’t get to make any bold statements or assumptions about me. You don’t know me and you don’t know why I do this. Despite all of the feelings you may have towards the other women who work here, who are all more than worthy of respect by the way, you don’t know the first thing about me.”

“You work at a Gentleman’s Club and think I don’t know all there is to know about you?”

“You pay women for sex and frequent said Gentleman’s Club, so you really think you’re in a position to throw stones?” you question, crossing your arms.

Andy’s thoughtful before he speaks. “That’s fair and a good point. Fine, no witty remarks or judgment on my end. Anything else?”

You’re thoughtful as you try to make sure you’ve covered all your bases. “I don’t think-”

“Need you to know for sure, Sweetheart.”

“No,” you quickly snap, not liking how dumb and inexperienced he makes you feel.

You should’ve taken more time to think on it.

“Good. Now, these are my rules and you will follow them,” he warns as he sets his drink down. “You’re not to serve any other guy, besides me. I don’t even want you helping the other girls out with orders. When you get here, I want you topless and waiting for me. I want a glass of bourbon ready for the both of us when I get here, because I want you drinking. I don’t want you drunk, I just want you loose. We’re not gonna get anywhere if you’re always so fucking uptight. Also, what we do stays between us. I have a kid at home and I don’t need him going through anymore hell than he already has.

When we’re together, your focus is on me and no one and nothing else. If you start seeing someone outside of work, you’re telling me. I don’t like sharing my things and that doesn’t change because of what we do here. How much do you make in tips a week?”

“$8,000,” you blurt out without even think about it.

“Of course you do,” he chuckles. “Pretty little thing like you...$10,000 a week it is. Bonus if you’re good for me.”

“10...Andy-”

“Trust me, I can afford it,” he chuckles at your confused state.

“Andy, I collectively make $8,000. It’s not just...you don’t have to...”

“If I want you to make it worth my while, I need to have something to offer, don’t I? Especially since we’re not fucking...yet,” he smirks. “So, whatever you’re being paid by Samantha and me giving you $10,000 a week...that’s a decent setup, isn’t it?”

“Y...yes,” you stutter, still trying to come to terms with your new reality.

“I expect you to be on time daily. If you’re going to be late, you let me know; not Samantha. If you’re going to be late, you tell me. However, unless you’re dying, I don’t expect you to miss a day.”

“What if I’m sick?”

“Let me know in advance and we’ll work around it.”

“Andy...what do you...why do you want me?”

“Because you hate me,” he shrugs as if it’s the most simple thing in the world. “The fact that you despise me makes me want you. It’s fun and it keeps everything exciting. You’ve only been here a few months and you’ve made it a point to avoid me as much as possible, so why wouldn’t I want you? Why wouldn’t I want to make the playing field as uneven as possible? That makes it all that much more fun for me.”

“Yeah but...”

“But what?”

“It’s not like I’m the only one here who despises you. Most of the women here despise all the men who come here.”

“You’re gorgeous and, if I’m honest, the fact that you’re a virgin turns me on. How old are you?”

“25.”

“You’re 25 and still a virgin? Bullshit,” he laughs before pouring himself another drink.

“I’ve done some things,” you mutter, feeling small “I just haven’t done it.”

“What have you done?”

“A few hand jobs, making out, I’ve been fingered, and I’ve let a few guys down on me,” you sigh before downing the rest of your drink.

All of a sudden, you feel very stupid and very out of place.

“So basically, you’re a virgin,” he chuckles as he beckons you over.

“Isn’t that the draw of me?” you ask, holding out your glass as he fills it.

“One of the many,” he smirks as he looks you over. “You’re allowed to ask me three questions about my personal life, then we agree on this.”

“Three?”

“After we shake on this, it’s an agreement. After we shake, you have your boundaries and I have mine.”

“What does your wife think? Does she even know?” you ask without thinking, taking a sip of your drink.

“I’ll count that as one question,” he smirks. “She knows. We have an open marriage, so she does what she wants and I do what I want. Weekdays are her days to play and weekends are my time...well, up until now, which I’m sure she’ll be happy about.”

“You don’t ever-”

“Careful, you only have two questions left,” he warns as he takes a sip of his drink.

You’re thoughtful, keeping in mind that your window into his soul is limited. “What do you get out of this? You know what the women in this place think, thanks to me, so why? Why go through the cycle if you already know the ending?”

“Lets just say...it counts as my therapy,” he laughs humorlessly. “I’m working through some shit and all of this...it helps. Maybe one day I’ll be right in the head again, but until then, this is all I have. Last question?”

“Why did you break Mary’s heart?”

That caught him off guard. “You know Mary?”

“I’ve known her since I was 5. She told me about this place.”

“Doesn’t seem like a very good friend if you ask me.”

“Well I didn’t,” you defend, not liking his tone “I asked you why you broke her heart.”

“Ask another question.”

“No.”

“No?”

“No,” you respond, raising your eyebrow this time before taking a sip of your drink.

“What did she tell you?”

“That she told you she loved you and you abused that love.”

“Only as much as she abused mine,” he shrugs, a cynical look coming to his eyes. “I’m fine with the world hating me. I’m a lawyer, most people hate me. However, I don’t start doing any of this shit without letting you girls know how it’s gonna be. I told her that I’m in an open marriage, I told her that I’m not looking to fall in love, and I told her that I just want to have fun. She said she was fine with that and understood it,” he sighs before taking a large sip of his bourbon. “ She said she was fine with it and wasn’t looking for anything besides a hefty tip to get her through school. We had an understanding.”

“Then?”

“She caught feelings. We caught feelings. No, I never loved her, but I did like her. I liked her a lot, but I never made her my regular. She didn’t like that. I fucked up by buying her jewelry and shit, and letting her entertain the idea of her and I being something more one day, even though that was never my intention. Mary is too...she’s not for me. So, when she asked me when I’d stop sleeping with the other girls, I told her I didn’t know. She asked me if I thought she was enough and I told her no. So, she in turn, started to hate me and I don’t blame her. It’s not like I didn’t deserve it but, in my defense, I never promised her anything. She knew what this was from the beginning.”

“Then why-”

“Three questions, Sweetheart. That was the deal,” he quickly interrupts, letting you know that he’s more than done with the conversation as he stands up. “Do we have an understanding or not?”

You look at his hand and contemplate all of the possible futures you could have. However, none of them seem as bad as not being able to have more time with your mother. “We have a deal,” you agree solemnly as you shake his hand.

“Oh, Sweetheart, I promise I’ll make this as fun as you let me,” he laughs as he breaks out your grip and starts to undo his pants.

“You said-”

“I said I wouldn’t do anything to you, I never said I wouldn’t tell you to do anything to me,” he advises as he takes himself out his pants.

“I’ve never...I don’t know how...” you start as you look at his size.

What the hell did you just get yourself into?

“I’ve got all night to teach you,” he coaxes; his smile sinister.

You finish off your drink before slowly sinking to your knees. ‘Might as well get this over with,’ you think to yourself as you open your mouth wide for him.

“Fuck, if only you could see you fucking good you look for me right now,” he chuckles before pulling his phone out and taking a few pictures. “You look like a fucking angel.”

You ignore the excitement his praise makes you feel as you start to stroke him. You lick his tip softly a few times, gaining a few low groans from Andy, before taking him into your mouth just a little.

“That’s right, Sweetheart, take your time,” he husks guiding you slowly.

Little by little you take him into your mouth until you can’t anymore.

“That’s a good girl,” he groans before throwing his phone down and starting to guide you on his cock. “you take me so well, baby.”

You can’t help but close your eyes as your own pleasure starts to build. You’re not sure if it’s because you’re pleasing him or if it’s because he’s controlling you, but the more you try and fight it, the more excited you become.

“Tsk, tsk, tsk,” he taunts as he grips your face with his free hand “eyes on Daddy.”

The muffled moan that escapes you makes him chuckle.

“So that’s what my good girl likes? You like being good for me?” he smirks down at you.

All you can do is look up at him nod, your cheeks feeling hot from embarrassment.

“Then be a good girl for me and make me cum,” he demands, his grip on your hair getting tighter as you pick up your pace. “God, you’re such a good little cock slut, baby,” he moans.

You clench your thighs together as much as possible, trying to fight off your own release, and you can see the idea forming in his eyes before he even says anything.

“Get up, baby,” he breathes, letting go of your hair. You eye him warily as you release him and slowly stand up. “Get on the bed.”

“Andy-”

“What did you call me?”

“Daddy,” you quickly correct, slightly tempted to test those waters. “W...why do you...?”

“Don’t worry, Sweetheart. Daddy’s not gonna touch you,” he coos gently as he makes his way over to you. “You’re gonna touch yourself,” he whispers hotly against your ear.

The mortification you feel at your arousal is apparent as your body shudders at just the thought of what he wants.

“Don’t get shy on me now, Darlin’,” he chuckles. “You need the release, I can see it and I wanna watch you fall apart, unless you want me to do it for you,” he taunts as his fingers trace the outline of your body.

“Fuck,” you moan before slowly making your way over to the bed.

You take a deep breath as you make your way over to the bed, climbing onto it before crawling to the center and laying on your back.

‘Of course this creative fucker thinks of a way to get me on this bed,’ you think as you slowly lift up your skirt a little.

“Take it off,” he demands softly, stroking himself while he gaze on you is intense.

You bite your bottom lip as you quietly obey, trying to force yourself to be in the moment. You’ve never done anything like this, and you never imagined your first heavy sexual encounter to be like this. However, it wasn’t about you and your comfort. There was something much more important a stake, and you weren’t about to fuck it up because you were uncomfortable and unhappy.

However, at the moment, you’re not sure if you’re unhappy with the current situation you’re in...or if you’re unhappy with how turned on you are by it.

“Fuck,” you sigh softly, sliding your hand down into your panties and playing with your clit. “Shit!”

“God, you’re so fucking sexy,” he grunts as he picks up his pace.

“Daddy,” you whimper, starting to massage your left nipple with your free hand. “Feels so fucking good!”

“I wanna taste that fucking pussy so bad, let me see it,” he groans, his voice strained, and you can tell he’s close.

“How bad do you wanna see my cunt?”

“So fucking bad, baby. Thought about that perfect little pussy so much.”

“Then beg,” you demand with a gasp as you start to fuck yourself.

“Shit, please. Please baby, I need to fucking see it. Fuck, I’ve thought about it so much.”

“Yeah? Did you fucking jerk off to thought of eating me out?”

“You have no fucking idea how much,” he pathetically whimpers as he slowly makes his way over to the bed. “C’mon, be a good girl for Daddy and let me see that perfect little soaked pussy,” he begs.

“Fuck,” you moan, removing your hand and tasting yourself on your fingers before slowly removing your panties.

“Jesus Christ,” he pants, stopping at the foot of the bed. “Every part of you is fucking beautiful. You’re so fucking perfect.”

“You think so, Daddy?”

“Fuck yeah,” he groans as his movements starting to come quicker, as if he’s desperate for release. “Fuck, get over here, Sweetheart. Need to finish off in that filthy little mouth,” he demands weakly.

You quickly get on your knees and make your way to edge of the bed, never breaking eye contact as you open your mouth for him.

“Fuck, keep fucking yourself, I want you to cum for me, Sweetheart. I need you to,” he breathes heavily. He watches as one of your hands makes its way between your legs, and the silent whimper is all he needs. “Shit!” he shouts, shooting his load into your mouth.

It’s more than enough to send you over the edge into your own euphoric trance, as your force yourself to stay up right and steady. You keep your eyes on him as he continues to jerk off into your mouth, groaning satisfaction when the last bit of his hot seed touches your tongue.

“Don’t swallow just yet, Darlin,” he pants with s smirk, before fishing for his cell phone.

You can’t imagine how fucked out you look, and you don’t want to think about it, as he takes a picture of you. When he spits into your mouth, you expect to find yourself disgusted, but you only find yourself ready to do more to please him to your dismay.

‘When did you become this person?’ you think to yourself as look up at him and await his next command.

“Fuck, I wasn’t expecting you to be like this at all,” he chuckles before taking one more picture. “Swallow.”

You do as your told and keep your eyes on him, reluctantly finding yourself loving how much control you may have in the situation.

“Oh Sweetheart, you and I are gonna have a lot of fun together,” he smirks mischievously.

Over the next few hours, Andy is creative in the ways he makes you bring yourself off for his amusement. Loving how submissive you are but also relishing in how dominant you can be at times. He takes his time learning what you actually like and what you’ll do just to make him happy.

Always leaning more towards what you actually like.

By the time the night is through, your throat is sore, your body is tired, and you’re exhausted,

“I expect you to be on time, Tuesday,” Andy states as he zips up his pants, pulling out his money clip and throwing the money down on the bed. “Expect a punishment if you’re late.”

“Of course,” you mumble, looking down at the money next to you.

You’d never gone from feeling so blissed out to feeling like total shit so fast.

“Hey, cheer up. This will be fun for the both of us,” he smirks at you as he puts his suit jacket on.

“Sure it will. Don’t forget your wedding ring,” you remind him lazily as you get up and make your way to your bag.

Andy’s hesitant before he makes his way over to get it. “There’s nothing for you to feel bad about, Y/N,” he states softly as he puts his ring back on, and you can hear the sincerity in his tone. “What we do...it’s just for fun. It’s just sex. I’m free to do what I want and so are you.”

“Then why doesn’t it feel like it?” you question before grabbing your bag and disappearing into the bathroom.

You take your time in the shower, letting the night’s events play over and over again. No, you didn’t sleep with him and besides grabbing your hair, he hadn’t touched you.

However, it all still felt wrong. You didn’t feel like you. How you were going to tell Mary and try to avoid telling her how much a part of you enjoyed it, isn’t something you think you’ll be able to do.

But you know you have to.

You quickly dry and dress yourself in the bathroom, brushing your teeth the best you can without making your gums bleed, before making your way back out to the bedroom. Andy’s gone but he left a piece of paper with his number on it, next to the wad of cash on the bed.

You take a deep breath and throw both into your purse before making your way out of the room, wanting nothing more than to distance yourself for the new world you’ve made for yourself as much as possible.

“Hey, how’d it go tonight?” Allison asks, greeting you with a small smile as you make your way off of the elevator.

“Well, I’m still a virgin,” you mumble, walking by the bar and making yourself a drink.

“Oh shit,” she sighs, taking a seat next to you and making your own drink.

“We did...things. We did things and he allowed me to ask him three questions, so I of course asked about Mary-”

“Y/N....no,” she groans.

“Of course his story is different than hers, and for some reason, I believe him because it sounds...very Mary.”

“How so?”

“She thought she could change his mind and became upset when she couldn’t.”

“Well...yeah, that does sound very Mary,” she scoffs, taking a swig of her drink.

“How am I supposed to tell her, Ally? She’s going to be so-”

“You know just as well as I do that she’ll be understanding.”

“And you know just as well as I do that it’ll be to an extent.”

“She’ll come around, babe.”

“She never stopped loving him, fuck! What did I just get myself into?! He didn’t even know that I know her, let alone that she’s my best friend. He didn’t even wanna talk about it.”

“Wait. He didn’t wanna talk about it, and you made him talk about it?”

“I don’t know,” you shrugged, finishing off your drink before pouring yourself another. “He told me to ask him something else and I told him no. However, by how hard he face fucked me tonight, I’m pretty sure I paid for it.”

“Did he-”

“He didn’t do anything I didn’t find myself liking, which is apart of the problem. I don’t want Andy, but I want the release he brings. Yes, at the end of the day, it really is all about the money, but I feel guilty for enjoying the things that get me the money.”

“Honey, if you’re lucky enough to end up with a fuckhead that you actually enjoy, there should be no guilt or shame in that. Andy Barber is fine as fuck and he chose you. Do you want to be with him?”

“Fuck no!”

“Then there’s nothing to feel bad about. He’s just a paycheck that you get to enjoy along the way. Take what you need while getting what you want,” she smiles reassuringly.

You both make small talk before she tells you that both her and Lindsey have off tomorrow, so they’ll text the plans for tomorrow in the group chat. You finish your drink and give Allison a tight hug before making your way to the exit. Samantha offers you a small sad smile before handing you your check and wishing you a great weekend.  

When you’re finally settled into your car, you open up your check and chuckle humorlessly.

$717.19.

You do quick math in your head and realize that you’ve made $10,717.19 without barely lifting a finger.

By the time you get home, you’re exhausted and don’t want to think anymore. You ask Gloria if she minds spending her Saturday night with your mother and she’s happy to tell you ‘no’ if it means you’ll go out and have fun for a change,

“Are you sure? Because you have your own life and-”

“Honey, I’ve never seen someone who works quite as hard as you do. You deserve a night off and some fun. If anything serious happens, I promise I’ll let you know,” she smiles reassuringly.

“How much do I owe-”

“This is on the house. For as long as I’ve been caring for your mother, you’ve never asked me for anything more than that’s been required.”

“I can’t just-”

“Yes you can,” she promises softly. “Be young and have fun, even if it’s for a night. Reality will be waiting for you when you get back,” she states sympathetically before making her way down the steps and to her car.

You watch her drive off before taking a deep breath and heading inside.

“You’re home early!” your mother beams as you make your way into the living room.

“No inventory, just regular bullshit,” you smile as you sit down in the chair next to her.

“I missed you today. Grease was on!”

“You watched Grease without me?!”

“Before the end of this life, I need to know why they literally fly off into the sunset,” your Mother jokes as you feel your heart break.

“What have you come up with?” you ask, doing your best to mask your pain.

“I don’t know just yet, but I will figure it out,” she giggles before turning her attention back towards the television.

You give her a small kiss on the hand before turning your attention back to the television. Soon enough, you hear her soft snores and do your best to fight sleep, trying to hold on to the moments that will soon be no more.

But you’re so tired.

You’re not sure how long you’re asleep before you hear your sister’s voice faintly in the background.

“She’s been working hard, honey. Let her rest,” your Mother says softly, but the happiness in her tone is very apparent.

“I know, but I just wanna talk to her. This is the first time I’ve actually seen her in years. She looks so grown up and I miss her. I know she hates me, and I don’t blame her, but I really-”

“She doesn’t hate you, Vivian. She’s just hurt,” your Mother corrects softly.

It takes all of two seconds for you to realize that you’re not having a nightmare and that your sister is, in fact, in the house.

“Vivian,” you yawn as your eyes slowly open “I didn’t know you’d be here today.”

“Hey! You’re up!” she smiles at you, going in for a hug, and instantly move away.

You feel terrible for being angry with your mother, but you don’t like being ambushed. At all. You see the pain in your sister’s expression, but you can’t find yourself feeling bad at all.

“What’s up?” you ask tentatively, your gaze flitting between the both of them.

“Um, mom asked me over for lunch today and I was hoping the three of us could-”

“I have plans,” you interrupt instantly, ignoring the scowl that leaves your Mother’s lips.

“Oh,” she replies weakly “well maybe this week-”

“I’m taking care of mom and I have work,” you reply with a shrug.

“Honey, why don’t you get started on lunch?” your Mother smiles at your sister, the best she can as she hides her annoyance towards you.

Your sister merely nods before slowly making her way out.

“Y/N-”

“Don’t,” you quickly interrupt. “You didn’t tell me she was coming over.”

“You didn’t tell me you had plans.”

“I guess it’s a good thing I didn’t, because you would’ve tried to ambush me another day.”

“I told you-”

“No mom. I get it, I really do. She’s your daughter and things are...I get it, but you don’t get to force me to make nice with her. She didn’t just walk out on you, she walked out on me too. She didn’t care because she was happy to blindly follow behind dad, even though he was in the wrong the entire time. I’m finer with her not being in my life. I’m fine with the both of them not being in my life.”

“You can’t hold on to this hate in your heart forever,” your Mother sighs.

“There’s no hate. I just don’t need them and I don’t care. They made this choice, not me.”

“Y/N-”

“Gloria is going to come over in a few hours. I highly doubt that Vivian is gonna be able to take care of you on her own. She doesn’t know a thing about your medication or diet.”

“Y/N-”

“I called her, ya know,” you almost sob. “When you were first diagnosed, I called her to let her know. I called her multiple times. I called her cell, her house, and her job. She couldn’t be fucking bothered. She never returned a call, always had someone answer for her to say that she was too busy...she made the choice for things to be this way and I’m not gonna feel bad for wanting nothing to do with her. For wanting nothing to do with either of them,” you sniff as you wipe your eyes.

“Who are you meeting up with?” your Mother sighs as she wipes her own eyes.

“Mary, she’s home for the weekend, so we’re gonna go out with a few friends.”

“You can’t see her tomorrow?”

“I want to spend time with you. Not you and Vivian.”

“Y/N-”

“We have tomorrow and Monday,” you smile weakly. “You have a lunch and I have to get ready for my day out.”

“I don’t want you mad at me, Sweet Pea.”

“I’m not mad, I’m just tired.”

You quickly make your way upstairs and put together an outfit before getting into the shower. You do your best to push your feelings of anger and irritation aside, but you truly can’t wrap your head around the fact that your mother tried to force you into spending time with your sister. It’s not like you don’t get why it means so much, and you truly want to make your mother as happy as possible while you still can, but you’re just not ready to speak to your sister or Father again.

You’re not sure if you ever will be.

As you dry yourself off and start getting dressed, you hear a faint knock on your door.

“Are you ever gonna stop hating me, Y/N?” your sister asks softly as she opens the door.

“I thought you had to wait for someone to say ‘come in’ before you make your way into their space,” you scowl.

“Y/N-”

“I don’t hate you, Vivian. I just want nothing to do with you or Dad. I think that’s fair.”

“Y/N, I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry and I get it, okay? I was selfish, I was stupid-”

“You broke her heart, Vivian!” you finally snap. “You blamed her for something that she had no control over! You don’t think she tried to stop him from leaving? You don’t think it broke her heart that he’d rather cheat than be a better man for his family? She did everything she could for us, and you just...it doesn’t even fucking matter,” you sniff as you wipe your eyes, before putting on your sneakers. “She’s dying so you both need to make peace with your consciences. Whatever.”

“That’s not-”

“That’s exactly what the fuck it is. I’m not stupid. You’re lucky though, cause neither of you had to watch her fall apart in real time. You didn’t deal with the hair loss, the vomiting, the emergency hospital visits, the bills, the breakdowns, the freak outs, the coughing up blood, the weight loss, none of it. You guys waited till the end and I gotta say, you made the smart move. Avoiding any true guilt and coming in when you have just enough time to enjoy the few good days she has left? Genius.”

“Y/N,” she sobs.

“Gloria will be here around 5. I don’t know what time I’ll be home, so just try not to run out on her again until I come back, okay? Thanks,” you smile sarcastically at her, before grabbing your purse and pushing past her and making your way downstairs. “I’m gonna get going, Mama.”

“You won’t stay for-”

“I love you, but I can’t do it. I’m sorry, but I’m just not there yet,” you sigh with a weak smile. “But we’ll do something tomorrow, okay? We can watch ‘Grease’ together and try to solve the mystery.”

“Don’t be mad at me,” your mother pleads softly, gently placing her hand on yours.

“I could never,” you promise, kissing her forehead and slowly pulling your hand away “I just can’t be here right now. Gloria will be here in a few hours, okay?”

“Yeah...have fun and be safe,” your Mother encourages weakly. “I love you.”

“I’ll see you later,” you respond meekly before rushing out.

The minute you start your car, you start crying. Is it not enough that work just got extremely complicated? Now your personal life has to get complicated too?

By the time you arrive at Mary’s parents’ house, you’re spent and just wanna go home. But you know better. Going back to chaos will only cause more of it, and you need a break.

From everything.

“You’re here!” Mary squeals, running down the steps as you get out of your car, and you can’t help but chuckle. “I missed you so fucking much!”

“I missed you too,” you giggle as she tackles you with a tight hug. “Are the girls here?”

“No, we’re gonna meet them at the bar! Which means...”

“Oh God, please don’t make me!” you groan, stomping your foot.

“You get to help me get ready!”

“Can I just stab myself instead? It’s just as painful.”

“Ha ha, get your ass in here,” she smirks before pulling you inside her parents house.

As both of her parents hug you and welcome you in, your mind can’t help but wonder if they know. Know what Mary used to do, know if she helped you land your current job...how she’s able to pay for school without a cent from them...they have to at least be curious, right?

“So, catch me up! I feel like I haven’t spoken to you in forever!” she sings as she makes her way into the bathroom that connects to her room.

“What do you wanna know about?” you ask, fighting off the inevitable as your phone buzzes.

Unknown Number: Are you sure you can’t come in tonight?

Y/N: How did you get my number, Andy?

Unknown Number: Samantha will basically give me anything that I want. Any information I want about you, I can easily get.

Y/N: Jesus, did you help her cover up a murder or something?

Unknown Number: Something like that lol. Now, about tonight.

Y/N: I told you, Andy. My days are non-negotiable. I’ll see you on Tuesday.

Unknown Number: Are you sure?

When the text that follows is a picture of his hard cock in his hand, you’re feel your cheeks heating up at the arousal between your legs.

“Well, I’m guessing you’re not in the mood to talk about your Mother,” Mary sighs heavily, as you jump a little and hide your phone. “Sooo, I was thinking we could talk about work?” she asks hesitantly.

“Um, I mean...we can...”

“What don’t you want to tell me? Did someone hurt you? Is Samantha being a cunt? Because I swear to God I’ll-”

“No...no, nothing like that,” you chuckle nervously.

At that moment, your eyes land on a picture on her nightstand of you two when you were 6, and you truly want to die.

“Is it about Andy?” she asks softly.

“Yes,” you all but mumble. Her silence is enough to make you want to run away and leave, but you know you can’t. Mary’s your best friend and you need to be up front with her. “We don’t have to-”

“You may as well tell me,” she mutters and you can tell that she probably has her hands balled into fists.

“He uh...he wants me to see him...only him,” you confess nervously as you start to fiddle with your hands. “He knows I’m a virgin, and Samantha made him swear not to force himself on me, but we did...stuff last night. He obviously doesn’t know why I work there, and I don’t want him to, but the money he’s paying...it’s really good money, plus what Mary pays me at the end of the week. I need every bit of it.”

“He’s such a fucking asshole! I swear to Christ!” she exclaims, slamming her hand down on the sink. “Let me guess, Samantha made it known that you’re a virgin?”

“Yup, because you know how guys like that are. They want to be the first and they want to know they’re the only one whose touched you like that. Of course, the minute the word got out that she hired a virgin, business started booming,” you mutter, looking down at your feet.

You feel so fucking small.

“I’m not trying to be a bitch, I know how much you need the money. It’s the only reason I told you about the club in the first place, but do you-”

“It’s $10,000, Mary. No matter what happens with Sam, I’m guaranteed $10,000 with Andy. $10,000 a week? That covers expenses in spades,” you explain, trying to fight off your feelings of guilt. “It’s not like I’m happy about this or happy to be with him. I even asked him why he broke your heart,” you say before you can stop yourself.

“What? What did he say?” she asks, coming out of the bathroom half dressed, toothbrush still in her mouth.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Y/N, tell me-”

“Mary, why are you gonna put yourself through all of this again? Stop thinking about-”

“Please don’t,” she practically sobs. “I know, okay? I went through it and I know what...I know. It’s just not fucking fair!”

“Then stop thinking on it,” you beg, getting up and wrapping her in a tight hug. “You deserve better and you’ll have better. You’ll have the dream man you’ve always wanted, but you have to stop being so hung up on him.”

“Why does he get to have everything he wants?”

“Because he’s rich, babe. He’s rich which means he can afford to have everything he wants,” you smile sympathetically as you back away.

“Help me finish up?” she asks softly as she dries her eyes.

“I’d love to.”

You two spend the rest of the time at her house helping her get an outfit together and telling her about how about how Vivian and your Father are trying to come back into your life now that your Mother is nearing the end of hers. As you do her hair and explain everything that’s going on, you can tell that Mary feels bad at suggesting you not see Andy anymore.

“So, she just wants you to welcome her back with open arms like she didn’t fuck you both over?” Mary asks as you curl the last part of her hair.

“Yup. Vivian tried to give me a whole fucking story about how she’s not coming by to clear up her conscience.”

“What a bitch. Honestly, fuck the both of them. You’ve been taking care of your mother, for almost 2 years without any help from anyone. They have no right.”

“She wants us all to make up before she...but I’m not there yet. I don’t know if I’ll ever be there.”

“And that’s okay, babe,” she sighs. “I know all the hell you’ve gone through because of them, and they honestly don’t deserve your forgiveness, or even a fake act of kindness. Fuck them.”

“It’ll make her happy though and isn’t that what matters most?” you ask as your phone buzzes.

“I know how much you love her, hell, I wish she was my mother, but you have to draw the line somewhere,” she says firmly as your phone buzzes again. “Are you gonna answer that?”

“No,” you mutter, handing her your favorite eyeliner.

“It could be your mom.”

“I promise you it isn’t.”

“Oh,” is all she says. “Why-”

“He wants me to come in tonight,” you mumble as your phone buzzes again.

“You may as well answer it,” she gripes.

Unknown Number: You can’t say it’s not a good photo.

Unknown Number: C’mon, whatever you’re doing tonight can’t be more fun than spending time with me.

Y/N: I can’t tonight, Andy. I told you, my days are non-negotiable.

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t want to, because a part of you does. The release he gave you the night before is the only thing you truly crave right now, and it’s hard to believe that anyone else will give it to you.

That and the fact that there’s a small part of you doesn’t want anyone else to make you feel that way. It’s hard enough to accept that Andy makes you feel and act a certain that you never thought you would, but thinking that there’s possibly someone else that could unlock that inside of you?

That has you terrified.

By the time you and Mary make it to the bar, you’re more than ready to get trashed.

“Finally! Took you two long enough!” Lindsey squeals as you and Mary make your way inside the bar.

Allison practically knocks you over with the hug she gives you and you can’t help but laugh, knowing full well that she’s already buzzed.

“I missed you!”

“You just saw me last night,” you laugh.

“Yeah, but that’s work. I haven’t hung out with either of you in so long!” she whines before letting go of you and tackling Mary with a hug.

“Someone’s having a good time,” you giggle as you hug Lindsey.

“Like the rest of us, she’s in need of a night off,” she chuckles, hugging you tight.

“What happened?”

“She’s gonna bring it up later, but her and Tyler got into another argument about work. He doesn’t want her working at the club anymore.”

“Then maybe he should get a fucking job and do something? Besides, it’s not like it’s some fucking surprise. She’s been up front with him from the very beginning.”

“Trust me, I know exactly how you feel. I went off too. She needs to leave his ass, but you and I both know she won’t.”

“It’s really fucking sad what we’re willing to go through just fucking feel normal outside of work.”

“You’re telling me,” she sighs heavily.

As the night goes on, you all drink and talk about how life is currently being a bitch to all of you.

“You need to leave his ass, Ally,” you slightly slur as you grab your drink. “He’s a piece of shit and has no right to talk to you like that.”

“I love him,” she sighs before finishing off the rest of her drink. “I know I shouldn’t but I do. He wasn’t always like this and I get why he’s mad, I would be too. I sleep with other men for money, but he knew that. He knew that, he knows why, and he still...I just don’t know.”

“Exactly,” Mary jumps in. “He fucking knows why you do it. Outside of Lindsey, I don’t know anyone who stays at the job as long as we all have for shits and giggles. Well, Lindsey and the fucking terror twins,” she scoffs.

“Yeah, but I’m not a piece of shit like the terror twins!” Lindsey quickly defends as you all laugh.

“We know, babe. We know,” you encourage as you pat her arm.

“My point being,” Mary starts again “Tyler doesn’t like what you do, but he likes the money you make. He knows why you do it, but he literally does nothing to help you. He knows first hand how good you are at your job, but does nothing to keep other men from knowing why you earn so well. I don’t know, maybe he should take his fucking college degree and take care of you, instead of berating you because his fucking feeling are hurt,” she snaps as your phone starts to ring.

You take one look at it and scowl, before rolling your eyes and ignoring it.

“Looks like you’ve got Barber wrapped around your finger,” Mary scoffs before finishing off her drink.

“Don’t,” you bite before waiving a waiter over and asking for another round of drinks.

“I’m not,” she huffs “I just fucking hate him.”

“I didn’t decide on this lightly and you know that.”

“I know and I’m truly not mad at you. Honestly, I can’t even bitch about it that much because he didn’t even know we know each other. This isn’t him being a dick, it’s just him being attracted to someone else. The shittiest part is that the someone else is my best fucking friend.”

“I’ll just tell him that I can’t do it,” you shrug, grabbing your phone.

“Stop it, I’m sorry,” she sighs, rubbing the back of her neck. “You need that money and I know that. I want your mother to be as comfortable as possible, I’m just...I still love him. I shouldn’t and he doesn’t deserve my love, but that doesn’t change the fact that I do,” she almost sobs as your phone starts ringing again. “Just answer him,” she laughs humorlessly “I know him and he isn’t going to stop until he gets what he wants.”

“I can be persistent too, ya know.”

“Just answer him.”

You slowly make your way out, grateful for the soft breeze and the sound of the water hitting the rocks, before finally answering him.

“What?” you snap, leaning against the balcony ledge.

“You could be a little nicer, ya know.”

“What do you want, Andy?”

“You know what I want.”

“And you know that I can’t. Why are you-ow!” you exclaim as you almost fall over, but land on a metal table instead.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine! I just...just lost my balance.”

“Are you drunk?” he scoffs.

“Maybe.”

“So, you can’t work on weekends because you’re an alcoholic?”

“Oh fuck off!” you snap and he laughs. “Mary is home for the weekend, so I was bullied into taking a night off so we can all hangout.”

“A night from...?”

“None of your business.”

“You’re a mean drunk.”

“And you’re a nosey man.”

“She mad at you?”

“I mean, she’s not fucking happy about it.”

“So you did tell her?”

“Why are you so surprised by that?”

“Most people choose the easy way out.”

“Do I seem like most people to you?”

“Fair point,” he chuckles softly. “You’re not driving home, right?”

“I’m not that stupid.”

“Text me where you are and I’ll send a service for you and your friends when you’re ready to leave.”

“There’s really no need, but thank you,” you sigh softly, not liking how his genuine concern makes you feel just a bit special.

“Y/N-”

“Mary’s already upset, Andy. You sending a car will only make her upset. We can get ourselves home.”

“At least let me know when you’re home.”

“Why do you care so much?”

“I just made a hefty investment. I can’t have you dying on me after just a day,” he jokes and you can’t help but burst out laughing. “I like your laugh,” he comments after your laughter dies down.

“Blame the alcohol.”

“I just might,” he scoffs. “You’ll let me know when you’re safe?”

“I promise,” you state softly.

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

“Goodnight, Andy.”

As the night goes on, and you all get drunker, you do your best to push your thoughts about everything away. You don’t want to think about Andy, you don’t want to think about the fact that your Mother is on her way out, and you definitely don’t want to think about your sister and father. You just wanna stay in the moment with your friends and feel a temporary sense of relief, but as 2am hits and you’re holding Alison’s hair back, you know it’s time to go.

Figuring out how to get home is a bit tricky, but you all manage with you deciding that the three of them will sleepover at Lindsey’s and you’ll go back home. The second you stumble into your Mother’s house, you’re ready to go to sleep, but you remember that you promised Andy you’d let him know when you’re home. You plop down on the chair next to your Mother’s hospice bed and pull out your phone.

Y/N: I’m home safe.

You were ready to settle into the chair when you’re phone started ringing.

“Why are you up?” you yawn once you answer the phone.

“If I’m not fuckin’, I’m workin’,” Andy jokes and you chuckle softly. “Did you have fun?”

“Mhm, I think we all needed it. You need to get sleep.”

“Soon enough. Jacob’s still out.”

“Don’t be a boner when he gets home,” you muse lazily and Andy lets out a hearty laugh.

“I just wanna know he’s home safely. I trust the kid.”

“Always have.”

“See you Tuesday?”

“Mhm,” you hum as you start to drift off.

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

“Goodnight, Andy,” you smile before hanging up.

Sleep comes easily enough as you kick off your shoes and settle in the lay-z-boy. As you slip out of consciousness, you can’t help but feel anxious. Anxious about your Mother, your sister, your Father, your future...

Anxious about Andy.

You mentally tell yourself that everything will be fine and fall into place as they should, because life always has a funny way of working itself out.

However, the feeling of dread and vampires flying around in your stomach has you thinking differently.

If only someone would give you a crystal ball to see your future.

In the next two months of you seeing Andy professionally, a lot has happened.

Your Mother’s condition has taken a turn for the worst, both your sister and Father have been hounding you to spend time with them, your relationship with Mary has gotten rockier by the day, and Andy has become obsessed with spending as much time with you as possible.

Andy.

To say that you’ve developed feelings for him is a stretch, but you’ve definitely started feeling something towards him.

“Daddy, it’s gonna hurt,” you moaned as you looked up at Andy.

“Only for a little bit, Sweetheart. I promise that it’s gonna feel so good after a little bit,” he cooed softly.

“Why did you have to get one that’s so big?”

“So we can both pretend that it’s me fucking you,” he coaxed devilishly as he softly rubbed the head of the dildo against your clit “don’t you wanna make Daddy happy?”

“That’s not fair!” you pouted as Andy chuckled, and you could tell that he was doing all he could not to kiss you. “You promise to take it slow?”

“I won’t get aggressive until you tell me to.”

“I never tell you to,” you quickly defended.

“Sure you don’t, Sweetheart,” he laughed softly as he slowly pushed the head of the dildo into your pussy.

“Fuck!” you hissed at the pain new feeling of being stretched out. “Daddy!”

“I know, sweet girl, it’s okay,” he encouraged as he kept pushing it in further “just give it time.”

“Shit!” you moaned as the toy filled you, trying to stop the tears that were brimming in your eyes from spilling out. “Andy please!”

“I know, baby,” he urges gently as he starts to move it in and out of you slowly “just give it a minute,” he egged on before kissing your forehead.

You knew it was against the rules that you two set but, in that moment, you’re more than happy for the soft display of affection. In the short amount of time that you two had your little arrangement set up, Andy had done his best to figure out what you truly loved and what you tolerated. He knew when you were doing something to make him happy, and when you were doing something that you genuinely enjoyed and made you happy. That’s what got him off.

You slowly learned that Andy loved to please you. If you weren’t satisfied, he didn’t get off. He hated finishing before you did and he hated when finished yourself off instead of him.

“Fuck! Andy!” you moaned as the pain slowly started to turn into pleasure.

“Yeah? You like that, Sweetheart?” he groaned as he started to pick up his pace.

“Please...please don’t stop,” begged, your toes curling once he turned it on. “Fuck! It’s a fucking vibrator?!” you squealed as your back arched.

“You know I love to surprise you,” Andy chuckled as he started to pick up the pace. “You’re the best little slut I’ve ever had. Did you know that, Sweetheart?”

“No Daddy!” you whimpered as you tried to hold off on your release. “I just wanna make you happy!” you mindlessly confessed, too blissed out to mask your feelings.

“Yeah? You really like making me happy?”

“Yes! I love making you happy, Daddy! I love it when you’re satisfied!”

“Then cum for me,” he demanded hotly against the shell of your ear. “Cum for me right now, baby!”

“Shit!” you whimpered, gripping the sheets as you cum hard for him. “Fuck,” you sighed, trying to regulate your breathing.

“You know, I should be mad at you,” he said in a warning tone, still hovering over and looking you over. His pupils lust blown.

“Wh...what did I do?” you stuttered, your excitement quickly building again.

“You still won’t let me taste or fuck this perfect little pussy, you think that’s fair?”

“You know better, Daddy.”

“I still don’t fucking like it,” he muttered darkly, sitting up before turning off the vibrator and slowly pulling it out of you.

“Daddy!” you whined, not liking how empty you felt.

“You’re such a little brat, you know that?”

“Well, whose fault is that?” you snapped glaring at him.

“Oh, so you’re gonna get smart with me now? You clearly wannna get punished tonight,” he smirked with a dark chuckle. “You’re gonna suck this dildo clean, before sucking Daddy’s cock until I’m satisfied.”

“No, I’m sorry! I’ll be so good-”

“Too late, open up,” he demanded with a cocked brow.

That night, Andy kept you on your knees for over an hour and fucked your mouth until you were both too blissed out.

It’s not that you don’t want to fuck him, but taking that step will just make things too complicated and you know it. The only thing that makes you so sure are the fact that they’re nights when he doesn’t want sex at all. Yeah, he still wants you topless, but he mainly wants you to lay by him while he’s working on a case.

“So wait,” you sighed, sitting up, “what’s the issue? I’m missing something here.”

“You and me both, Baby,” he sighed, laying his head against the headboard.

“Isn’t it evident that the guy has a history of violence?”

“Yeah.”

“And it’s obvious that he was in location in question at the time of the assault, right?”

“He was in the area, but there’s nothing to pin him to being at the park at that time.”

“Well, there’s nothing to show that he wasn’t either. What did the victim say? She takes that route as a shortcut, but she only felt comfortable because of the amount of security cameras there?”

“Yeah, which is why I’m so fucking pissed that the trail keeps going cold whenever I think I’ve made a break in the case.”

“Okay, well, lets stop and think,” you propositioned as you leaned your head against the headboard. “The guy met her at the store, right? That’s how they got to talking?”

“Yeah?”

“Now, they both have said that he asked her out a few times, and each time she said no. I think it’s fairly clear that this guy became a little obsessed with her. I think he started stalking her and started following her patterns. If he’s as crazy as I believe he is, he probably noticed the cameras too. Noticed where they were and which ones worked and which ones didn’t.”

“They all work.”

“No they don’t. I know exactly what park she’s talking about and I know for a fact that some of those cameras are just for show. I got mugged there a few years ago. That park’s got dummy cameras, which makes no sense cause they could just fix the ones that don’t work, but whatever. Those are my tax dollars hard at work,” you muttered, rolling your eyes before grabbing your drink before taking a sip of it.

“Wait...what?”

“They have dummy camera’s in the park, Andy. They look like they work but they don’t, they keep them up anyway as a deterrent. But some of the cameras actually do work. The part of the park where she was attacked, they’re 2 dummy cameras there. I’m more than sure that one of those cameras at least got a shot of him.”

“Y/N, you’re a fucking genius, did you know that?” he beamed at you before practically bouncing off the bed, phone in hand, before dialing Lynne’s number.

When he saw you the next night, he gave you a silver chained necklace with a diamond red rose at the center of it.

“Andy,” you gasped, “you didn’t have to do this,” pressing your fingers to the necklace. “This is too much.”

“Thanks to you, little Miss, we were able to go over the footage from those dummy cameras and the case practically made itself,” he smirked as you both looked yourself over in the mirror. “It’s just my small way of saying thank you. You saved my ass.”

“It must have cost-”

“Don’t worry about the cost. Do you like it?”

“I love it.”

“Then keep it,” he smiled before pressing a soft kiss into your hair.

In those moments, you truly are at war with yourself over your feelings towards Andy. You’re not stupid. You know the arrangement and how he feels, but fuck all if he doesn’t make you feel like you’re the most important person in the world sometimes. The way he can be so gentle and soft with you. The look in his eyes when he’s simply checking on you or after he gives you an intense orgasm. The way he confides in you about work, Jacob, or Laurie. He has a way of blurring the lines, and while it makes you insanely frustrated and annoyed, you also don’t want him to stop.

That doesn’t mean that it’s always sunshine and rainbows between you two.

“Andy, you sound like a fucking idiot right now, stop it,” you griped as you got on the bed and laid down on it.

“You were the one all over-”

“All over?! Andy, your co-worker said hi to and hit on me, which I politely rejected. Why the fuck you’re so upset is beyond me, but it’s not my job to figure it out.”

“Exactly! Your job is to do whatever I pay you for, like a fucking slut is supposed-”

“A slut?!” you exclaimed as you sat up. “I’m the fucking slut, but you’re paying me just so you can fuck me with a fucking vibrator?! But I’m the slut?!”

“I may be the one paying, but you’re the one who’s more than happy to take the fucking money!”

“Fuck you!” you spat before getting off the bed and starting to get dressed. “Go find someone else to bitch to about Laurie! Or to whine to about the cases you can’t figure out! Go ahead! Go fucking do it! Go do it and see who genuinely gives a shit about you! Who genuinely gives a shit about seeing you happy!”

“Y/N-”

“GO!” you roared as you pulled your top on. “I’m fucking done! Literally everything is going wrong in my life! I don’t need your shit on top of it! Go pay someone else $10,000 to play mistress with!”

“Stop it-”

“I’m done!” you yelled before grabbing your things and storming out.

Andy left you alone for two days before he finally caved and text you.

Barber: I’m sorry.

Y/N: I fucking hate you.

Barber: No you don’t.

Y/N: How the fuck would you know?

Barber: Because you responded.

Y/N: Go bother someone else. I’m done. If I lose my job, I lose my fucking job.

Barber: I wouldn’t let Samantha fire you and you should know that by now.

Y/N: Well, you were all too willing to let her before.

Barber: Things change. It doesn’t matter. Just come in tomorrow, I’ll make it up to you.

Y/N: I don’t want to see you.

Barber: Y/N, just please.

Y/N: I’ll fucking think about it.

Of course, you caved and went the next day, but you went fully dressed and didn’t even bother to make him his drink

“I’m not even slightly surprised about this,” he scoffed humorlessly as he closed the door behind him.

“I don’t want to do this anymore,” you stated flatly, arms folded across your chest.

“Y/N-”

“No Andy. You’re far too comfortable with belittling me when you’re not happy about something in your own life. You don’t think I have shit going on that pisses me off? That frustrates me?”

“In my defense, I barely know anything about you.”

“Apparently, it’s better that way, cause you’ll probably use it against me.”

“You know I didn’t mean it.”

“You still said it!”

“I’m sorry, I’m truly sorry,” he sighed mournfully as he leaned against the wall. “You’re the one part of my life right now that doesn’t drive me crazy. No, I don’t like it when any of these other assholes talk to you, let alone look at you, because they don’t deserve to. I was already angry when I got here the other day, so when I saw Tyler talking to you, I lost my cool. You’re my girl-”

“No, I’m not Andy,” you sighed as you felt your eyes start to water. “I’m not anyone’s girl.”

“For 4 hours, you are my girl.”

“Andy...we should stop now.”

“Why? I like spending time with you and you like spending time with me.”

“We’re not dating, Andy. You pay me for sexual favors and that’s it. We’re not in love, we’re boyfriend and girlfriend, and we aren’t together.”

“There’s nothing wrong with two people enjoying each other’s company.”

“Tell that to Mary,” you scoffed, shifting your weight from one foot to another.

“What’s she upset about? We’re not fucking.”

“We’re just as good as!”

“Listen, you say you need this money, and if she’s your best friend, she should support it. Especially seeing as she’s the one who got you into all of this.”

“Don’t. That’s not fair Andy,” you warned, straightening up a bit. “That’s a low blow and you know it. Jesus, why do you want me to stay so bad?”

“Cause you’re not like the other girls, Y/N. I’m not saying that I want to get married, but I at least wanna be your friend. Your friend with benefits,” he smirked.

“That doesn’t seem like such a good idea for us either.”

“It’s not a bad one.”

“Then what happens when you decide you wanna stop?”

“Then we’re just friends,” he shrugged.

You were thoughtful before you spoke. “You can’t talk to me like that ever again, Andy. I mean it. Do it again and I’m done.”

“It’ll never happen again, I promise,” he stated sincerely, and you couldn’t help but believe him. All you did was nod before starting to pull your shirt up. “What are you doing?”

“What I’m supposed to?”

“I told you, I’m gonna make it up to you. I’m taking you out.”

“Wh..what? Taking me out where?”

“Have you eaten?”

“No.”

“Then this works out perfectly.”

“Andy, wherever you plan on taking me...I’m not dressed for it, no matter what outfit I’m wearing.”

“Guess it’s a good thing I’m taking somewhere that I’m sure you’ll love. Grab your stuff, lets go,” he smiled at you.

It’s not like you could ignore all the stares that were burning themselves into the both of your heads as you two walked out, but what could you do? At the end of the day, no matter what Andy said, you still had to do whatever he wanted. Sure, his words were sweet and nice enough, but they were still just words.

The car ride to wherever he was taking you was filled with awkward silence, while you tried to find a decent radio station, but nothing seemed right. However, happiness overwhelms you when he pulls up to O’Hara’s Food & Spirits.

“Who told you?!” you beamed as you looked out the window.

“Who told me what?” Andy chuckled, genuinely confused by the change in your demeanor.

“That this place means everything to me! This is one of my most...who told you?”

“No one? I just thought you’d like it,” he smiled sincerely.

That’s when your feelings for Andy truly started to change. O’Hara’s was special to you, because it had been a place you and your mom would go to once (maybe twice if the money was there) a month when you both just wanted a night out. It was just the both of you and you both had decided a stress free Mother/Daughter dinner was the best thing every once in a while.

When her sickness got worse, you had to stop, because she couldn’t physically handle it. Being parked in front of the restaurant brought back so many happy memories, that you couldn’t help but shed a few tears.

The fact that Andy had thought (on his own) that you’d like a place like that, meant more to you than you were ready to admit. The best you could do was lean over and kiss him on the cheek.

“You did great, Andy,” you smiled at him “I love this place.”

“You ready to eat?” Andy grinned at you sheepishly.

“Lets go.”

Almost as soon as you two made your way inside, waiters and waitresses were greeting you, happy to see you and asking about your Mother.

“Okay, you’ve gotta tell me something,” Andy pressed as the waiter walked away with the drink order.

“Tell you something about what?”

“Well, you kissed my cheek in the car, every server in here seems to be happy to see you, and they all keep asking about your mom,” he stated matter-of-factly. “At least give me something.”

You sighed heavily as the waiter dropped off your drink orders, before taking your meal orders and walking off. “I used to come here with my Mother after...after everything that had happened, we decided that Mother/Daughter dinners would be good. When we could afford it, it was nice for us to just have a night where we didn’t worry about drama, dishes, cooking, work...it was just us talking and talking having a nice time, and forgetting for a bit. When she first got sick, we still kept it up because we were hopeful. As she got sicker, I started placing orders for pick up. Then I stopped ordering all together because there were other things to take care of.”

“How is she now?”

You swirled your drink around in your glass before taking a sip. “I work at the Club for a reason.” Andy’s silence made you roll your eyes. “This is why I don’t talk about it,” you scoffed humorlessly as your food arrived. “Besides the fact that it sucks and I don’t wanna think about it, I don’t need or want anyone feeling sorry for me either. I’m not some pity side show.”

“It’s not pity, I just feel like an asshole.”

“That’s because you are an asshole,” you smirked as he let out a soft chuckle.

From that moment on, the conversation was more lax and flowed easily. You both made each other laugh, challenged each other mentally, and found yourselves getting lost in conversations that you wouldn’t have with anyone else.

You both just enjoyed one another.

In fact, you both enjoyed one another so much, that you lost track of time.

“Ya know, I can’t remember the last time I stayed at a restaurant till closing,” Andy scoffed as he pulled up to the club, next to your car.

“I can’t remember the last time I went to a restaurant,” you laughed. “Thank you for apologizing and thank you for tonight. It was nice. When you’re not being a complete piece of shit, you’re a lot of fun to be around,” you smirked.

“I’m working on it, I’m working on it,” he chuckled. “Thank you for forgiving me and coming out tonight.”

“Yeah yeah, Barber,” you smirked before opening the car door and getting out. “Goodnight Andy.”

“Goodnight, Sweetheart.”

From then on, there was a shift between you two and everyone noticed.

“So, how’s Andy?” Mary slurred into the phone as you rolled your eyes.

“Can we not do this tonight? I’m really not in the mood,” you sighed as you laid on your bed in your room.

“All I did was ask-”

“No, all you’re doing is starting another argument that I don’t have the energy for. Do you even realize what day it is? It’s a Thursday, Mary. It’s Thursday and I’m not working, because he text me and told me not to come in and that he’ll see me next week. Which means he’s currently fucking someone else. So, whatever you think is going on, clearly isn’t,” you snapped.

“You seem pretty fucking irritated by that,” she scoffed, followed by a hiccup.

“No,” you lied, “I’m irritated because I don’t know what the fuck you want from me! I told you that I’d call the whole thing off and you said no. I asked you again the next night and you said no because it’s good money and I need it. Now, every other call or text is about Andy, and it’s like you’re mad at me for being upfront with you! If I don’t tell you, you’re mad at me! So Mary, what the fuck would you like for me to do?! Please tell me what the fuck you want!”

“I want him to stop loving you!” she cried. “You don’t think I hear myself?! You think I want to be a bitch?! I know I’m being an asshole, but what the fuck do you have that I don’t?!”

“For the millionth time, he doesn’t fucking love me,” you sighed.

“You both may be too fucking stupid to see it, but I’m not! He’s different with you! The gifts he gets you, the fact that you’re his main girl, the fact that he actually cares when he makes you upset...he’s definitely-”

“He’s definitely not and you’re thinking too much of it. I’m tired of having this talk, Mary. You’re my best friend and I’ve literally done everything in my power to do right by you, and it’s not fucking enough. You told me about the fucking job, I told you when he propositioned me, and I tell you the truth when you ask me about seeing him. So I really don’t know what the fuck you want out of me anymore, but I’m done trying to figure it out. Talk to me when you’re done obsessing over him,” you huffed before quickly hanging up.

You knew you’d pissed her off, but you didn’t think you’d actually pissed her off to the point where she’d go too far. But then again, she was drunk.

“Uh Y/N,” Allison called as she awkwardly walked over to you. “There’s someone here to talk to you.”

“Can you ask them to come back? I’m already behind and I need to get ready.”

“Uh...she says she’s your sister,” she all but mumbled.

The last bit of patience that you had snapped. “What?”

“I know you and Mary got into a huge argument, but please don’t-”

“I’m gonna fucking kill her,” you growled before grabbing your bag and making your way to the entrance. “Outside,” was all you said before breezing past your sister. “What do you want?”

“So this is what you do? Instead of making peace with me and accepting my help? Dad’s help? You do this?!”

“Don’t paint yourself as some fucking God, Vivian,” you scoffed. “You both fucking left. I called you when she got sick and where were you?”

“That was then-”

“Where were you?! Not fucking here! So, I took on three fucking jobs so I could help pay for her medical expenses, because her job didn’t help with shit! The little bit of money dad bothered to leave before running off with his young bride keeps the lights on and the water running! When I put my pride aside and went to you for help, your fucking assistant kept saying you couldn’t be reached! When I text and called you, you never returned either of them! When she got worse, I tried reaching out to you again, because I was missing out on time with her, but once again, you couldn’t be bothered!”

“Y/N-”

“No! You don’t get to come here and judge me! Acting like you’re some fucking patron saint because you’ve come riding in on your white horse at the last possible fucking minute! Mary is the one who told me about this job. Did your new best friend even bother to tell you that?!” You practically screamed at her. Her silence told you everything you needed to know, as her eyes started to well with tears. “Oh, don’t fucking start crying me a river now, Viv. You don’t know the hell I’ve gone through trying to keep Mom as comfortable and happy as possible! Fucking waitressing here till closing, getting little to no sleep, spending as much time as possible with her as I can, just to have to leave again and come back here! So yes, when a nice man offered to pay me $10,000 just to fucking stand topless in his room and pour him drinks, you bet your ass I fucking took it! It’s not my fault that Mary is in love with him! Did she tell you that I told her I won’t take it? Or that I checked with her multiple times to make sure she’d be okay with it? That she’s the one who told me to take the money because it was good? No, she fucking didn’t! Everyone is so quick to fucking bitch me out and throw stones, but I’ve been busting my ass trying to figure this shit out and I’ve been doing it alone! So you can go straight to hell with your fucking judgment! You care so fucking much? No, you need to get rid of the fucking guilt you feel because you’re a piece of shit!”

“Y/N, please just-”

“Get the fuck out of here! We’re done here and my shift is about to start,” you boil before turning and walking away.

The minute you stormed back inside, both Allison and Lindsey were on your heels.

“Please calm down,” Lindsey begged, “just text Andy and tell him you can’t-”

“She fucking called my sister?!” you yelled as you aggressively pressed the ‘up’ button on the elevator. “She called my sister and of course bothered to leave out all the parts that would make her look like a piece of shit, right? Cause I’m such a greedy little bitch!”

“Wouldn’t get too comfortable in that suite, Honey,” Madison scoffed as the elevator doors finally opened. “The way Andy fucked me last week...looks like he’s about over you.”

You went to lunge at her but both Allison and Lindsey held you back.

“Fuck off Madison, or I’ll choke you to death myself,” Lindsey warned with a low growl that had Madison running in the opposite direction.

“Hun, please don’t-”

“Nope, I’m a fucking professional. I’m a horrible best friend, and a slut, but I’m also a professional and I will not call out last minute,” you scoffed. “Fuck, I forgot the the stupid drink!”

“I’ll get it,” Allison sighed, “just get up there. The last thing I need is for you to run into Madison and kill her. It’s not like she doesn’t deserve it, but still,” she mutters.

The minute you’re in the room, you pull out your phone and start typing furiously.

Y/N: We’re fucking done. You are dead to me. You told Vivian of ALL people?! I would’ve NEVER done something like that to you! I’ve always done my best to be the best friend I can be, I’ve always done my best to be there for you, and you pull this shit because you’ve decided Andy is in love with me?! I fucking told you I’d stop seeing him and YOU told me not to! So you can fuck right off and go to hell!

By the time Allison got to the room, you were furiously pacing.

“Y/N-”

“I really can’t talk about it right now, Allison. I love you to death, but I can’t do this and have this talk.”

“Just please don’t do anything you’ll regret out of anger. What Mary did was completely fucked, but don’t let it drive the choices you make tonight,” she pleaded softly before setting the tray down and walking out.

You let her words roll around as you got ready, but you couldn’t calm down. After you finished up in the bathroom, you filled your glass and started drinking. When Andy didn’t show up on time, you continued to drink.

By the time he got there, you were teeter-tottering between tipsy and drunk.

“You’re late,” you slurred, not getting up from the chair as you took a sip from your glass. The look on his face let you know that he was already pissed about something. “Uh oh, someone’s mad,” you giggled.

“I thought I told you I wanted you loose, not drunk,” he stated with an irritated sigh.

“Well, lets just add it on to the list of things I’m doing wrong today, cause it apparently is every fucking thing,” you shrugged before finishing off your drink and pouring yourself another. “Anyway, you’re late. Why are you late, Mr. Barber? The members of the jury are dying to know.”

“Laurie,” was all he said as he looked you over.

“Ah yes, the evil witch. Your wife.”

“Watch it,” he warned as he unbuttoned the sleeve buttons on his shirt and rolled them up.

“That’s right, I’m not allowed to use the ‘w’ word,” you scoffed. “Cause then we’re both reminded how bad we feel.”

“What the fuck is with you tonight?” he finally snapped.

“I got two hours of sleep, Andy. You wanna know why? Because my Mother had a really bad night and I was handling it, by my fucking self, like I do everything else in my life. Can’t do much because it’s hospice, so ya know, she’s just going to fucking die at home no matter what, ya know? But that’s fine. I’ve come to terms with that. So, I took care of her and got her to calm down, then I cried for about an hour before falling asleep. Woke up two hours later, made her some food, gave her medicine that helps her deal with the pain. I told Gloria, her wonderful nurse, about her episode last night, then left to come here. Ya know what happened when I fucking got here? I’ll tell you,” you smiled sarcastically before taking a sip of your drink. “My fucking cunt of a sister was here to berate me for working at this lovely little Gentlemen’s Club. Of course, it’s not like I didn’t try to ask for her help financially when our Mother was first diagnosed. She couldn’t be fucking bothered, because she was still hanging onto her misplaced anger about our father walking out, but now the both of them are coming in at the last fucking minute and I’m supposed to be fucking grateful. The fact that I open my legs for you makes her better than me,” you laughed humorlessly.

Andy’s demeanor softened, and you could see that he felt awful. “Baby-”

“Oh wait, it gets better!” you scoffed as you poured him a drink “C’mon, have a drink with me! We’re having fun!”

“Sweetheart-”

“Andy, you have to drink with me! I haven’t even gotten to the best part yet!” you encouraged, holding out the glass. Andy sighed but reluctantly took the glass and took a sip from it. “Thank you! Now, for the best part, you wanna know who told my sister I work here? No? That’s fine, it’s less climatic if you guess. It was Mary!” you beamed as Andy dropped his head in frustration. “Do you wanna know why she told her? Because she’s convinced that you’re in love with me! She called me last week, for what has to be the millionth fucking time, about it and I fucking snapped. So, in return, she ratted me out. Didn’t think the little bitch had it in her, but well fucking played,” you muttered before taking another sip of your drink.

“Sweetheart, please-”

“But I keep telling her you don’t love me, because you don’t. If you loved me, you wouldn’t only see me here, you wouldn’t pay me for my fucking company, and you wouldn’t have fucked Madison senseless last week, little cunt. Oh! That reminds me, since you fucked hers so good last week, she’s under the impression that you’re gonna put me out to pasture soon, so I guess I should really make our last few days together pretty fucking great.”

“Stop it, Sweetheart. Just stop it. Nothing is changing any time soon.”

“You paid me $10,000, but you were busy with her, so I guess I didn’t really earn the whole thing, did I? Should I give you back $5,000? $6,000? Wanna make sure I’m being fair about this whole thing.”

“You don’t have to give any of it back, baby. Please just-”

“Oh, hold that thought,” you interrupted as your phone started to ring and you got up to answer it. “I have a pretty good fucking idea who that could be!” you beamed as you made your way into the bedroom. “Mary! How did I fucking know?”

“Y/N, please just hear me out-”

“Oh, no tears! No tears cause guess what? Guess who’s here! Andy!” you beamed, making your way out of the room and back into the living area, putting your phone on speaker. “Say hi, Andy!”

“Sweetheart, don’t do this,” he begged softly.

“What do you mean? This is gonna be so much fucking fun! Cause you can finally tell Mary why you don’t love her! You can finally tell her what’s so fucking wrong that you just couldn’t love her back!”

“Stop it-”

“You don’t wanna say anything? That’s fine, cause I’ll say what I think! Ya know Mary, I think it’s just because you’re a selfish fucking bitch! I think it’s because you just care about your own selfish needs and wants, because it doesn’t seem to matter who you hurt in the process, just so long as you feel better about your fucking self!” you snapped.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N! I was just angry and I was drunk-”

“I was your best fucking friend you fucking snake! I’ve done nothing but go out of my fucking way for you time after time and this is how you look out for me?! This is how you tell me you love me?! You go to Vivian, of all fucking people, and you tell her?! After everything she fucking did?!”

“Please, just hear me out-”

“No, because there’s nothing you can fucking say that will justify the way you betrayed me! Even if Andy does love me, even if I have feelings for him, did you really think I would hurt you like that?! That I would try and have something with him even though it would hurt you?! Break your heart?! I’m not you!”

“Y/N-”

“You’re fucking dead to me, Mary. Don’t call me, don’t text me, don’t come the fucking funeral, don’t ask about me, just stay the fuck away!” you yelled before hanging up the phone and throwing it across the room.

“Sweetheart, take a deep breath,” Andy begged as he made his way towards you.

“I’m fine! Fan-fucking-tastic!”

“Stop it, just stop it,” he sighed as he tried to wrap his arms around you.

“You stop, because I’m fine. We’ll do exactly what you pay me for.”

“Y/N-”

“What Andy? What? You’re the reason she fucked me over, the least I can fucking do is actually let you fuck me. You pay me $10,000, so I may as well just let you fuck me, finally. She thinks we’re fucking all the time anyway, so lets just fucking do it!”

“Sweetheart,” he sighed heavily. “you should know better by now...just come here.”

“No! I’m fine!” you started to cry as you backed away from him. Andy said nothing as he kept coming towards you. “Stop it!” you yelled as you backed yourself into a wall, tears now streaming freely. When he finally wrapped his arms around you, you fought against him. “I don’t need your sympathy because I’m fine!” you yelled, trying to fight against him.

“Baby, you’re not fine. Just calm down,” he cooed, not breaking his hold as he gently stroked your back.

“I’m fine!” you repeated, finally giving in to him. “I’m fine,” you sobbed.

“Shh, it’s okay,” he cooed and you could hear the strain in his voice.

At some point he picked you up, carried you to the bed, and laid you down gently. When he went to walk away, you pulled him back to you.

“Don’t,” he warned softly.

“But I want to.”

“You’re drunk, Sweetheart.”

“So what? I still want to.”

“If you still want to when you’re sober, I’ll be more than happy to, but you need to lay down right now.”

“Andy-”

“Just rest, Sweetheart,” he told you gently, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead before walking away.

You were in and out of sleep that night, mainly because you just wanted to feel Andy. Even if it was just him holding you, you wanted him close. At some point, you woke up to him yelling at someone.

His tone was throwing you off, and you couldn’t tell if he was yelling at Mary or Laurie.

“How could you do that to her?! She’s supposed to be your best friend!”

Mary.

“It doesn’t fucking matter what you think of me!...See, this is part of the fucking problem! This is why I can’t fucking love you! You don’t think about the things you say or do! You don’t fucking hold yourself accountable for anything! You have your own ideas, try to force them on everyone, then get mad when things don’t go the way you think they should!...She was your best friend! Despite what happened between us, you had no right to railroad her life like that! On top of everything else, now she has to deal with this too?! ..Good! You should feel like shit!...I don’t wanna fucking hear it, Mary. I’m done with you...no, I fucking mean it this time. Don’t call or text this number again!”

You stared at the ceiling as you tried to keep your emotions at bay, but you now had a million more questions rolling around in your head. Had they been talking the whole time? Was he seeing her? Had he fucked her recently?

“You’re up,” Andy smiled softly.

“Water,” was all you responded with before sitting up, quickly realizing that you were still very drunk.

“I’ll get it for you,” he chuckled softly.

The question left your mouth before you could stop it. “Have you been seeing her the entire time?’

“Ah, so you heard that,” he sighed as he made his way back inside, putting the water down beside you. “I wasn’t seeing her. She text me about a week after we started this, and asked me why I chose you. I told her I liked you. I liked the way you carried yourself, I liked your smile, I liked your subtle way of rejecting men, I liked your laugh...I liked you. Of course, she didn’t like that and wanted me to break it off and I told her no. We argued and she hung up on me. A few days later, she text me and asked if we could have dinner and I told her I don’t think it would be a good idea, but she insisted, so I met her for dinner. We talked, she cried, and we came to the conclusion that I was going to keep seeing you. She tried to talk me into going back to her place with her, I said no, and she left. She’s been texting me on and off, I’m assuming when she’s drunk, but I haven’t been responding,” he finished, getting beside you. “How do you feel?”

“Drunk, angry, and hungry.”

“What do you want to eat?”

“You’re already taking care of me, please don’t feed me,” you muttered, taking a sip of water. “I’m sorry-”

“Don’t apologize for anything,” he quickly interrupted.

“I need to though, because that...that was bad.”

“You’ve been holding a lot in and you have a lot going on. That would’ve sent anyone over the edge because it was fucked up. I obviously don’t know the whole story, but she does. She had no right to do that to you.”

“Still...I had a fucking meltdown,” you groaned, laying your head on his shoulder as he laughed softly.

“Yeah, now I know how much to avoid your bad side.”

“As if you don’t already,” you chuckled softly. “Andy?”

“Hmm?”

“What are we doing?”

“Lets not get into that right now,” he sighed.

“Why not? We need to. I asked you if you love me and you couldn’t give me an answer.”

“Y/N-” ”Andy, was she right? Do you love me?”

“No,” he sighed “but I’d be lying if I said I don’t have feelings for you. Strong feelings for you which is why I told you just take those days to yourself, because I just needed to distance myself from you. I don’t want to stop but I can’t keep spending all my time with you, because if I do...”

“If you do, what?”

“I will fall in love with you and I don’t want that. I don’t wanna fall in love with anyone else ever again,” he mumbled before getting out of bed and making himself a drink.

“Then why don’t we just stop now?”

“Do you want to?”

“I don’t know what I want anymore,” you mumbled, just as frustrated as he was.

“Well, do you love me?”

“No, I don’t believe I do, but I do like you. I like you to the point that it pisses me off that you fucked Madison, of all people.”

“Yeah well, she’s fired anyway.”

“Andy! What did you do?!”

“She shouldn’t have said what she said to you,” he shrugged as he got back in next you.

“Andy, you can’t just have people fired because I don’t like them.”

“I can and I did.”

“For fucks sake,” you whined, getting close to him. “Andy, you’re gonna make everyone here hate me.”

“Then don’t work here anymore. You barely work here now.”

“Stop, don’t start that,” you quickly dismissed.

“I can take care of you.”

“I can take care of myself.”

“I’m well aware, but you don’t have to.”

“You just said you don’t want a relationship or to fall in love again. Don’t set me up just to hurt me.”

“Just because I don’t want those things doesn’t mean that I don’t care about you.”

“I’m fine as I am now.”

“No you’re not.”

“I don’t wanna argue about this.”

“Just...just think about it, okay?”

“No, because that means that I am yours and I don’t wanna be some ready made whore.”

“You wouldn’t be!”

“Yes, I would be. I basically am now, since you pay me to only see you while you get to see whoever you want.”

“If you’re that so hard on about it, you can see other guys,” he muttered and he didn’t do much to hide the irritation in his tone.

“You say that but you’re already pissed at the thought.”

“You’re right, lets not argue about this tonight,” he huffed. “What do you wanna eat?”

“Nothing.”

“Stop it. You need to eat.”

“I’m fine.”

“Jesus Y/N!”

“What Andy?! What?! We’re two idiots in like with each other and neither one of us wants to be. You don’t wanna stop and I don’t wanna stop, but we’re also trying to keep this as ‘just friends’. How fucking stupid are we?!” you exclaimed.

Andy sighed in defeat and hung his head. “I won’t take up so much of your time and I won’t get mad-”

“Yes you will, just like I’ll get upset when you sleep with other women. Lets not fucking lie to ourselves. I’m too drunk and too tired.”

“Then what do you propose we do?”

“Stop. I don’t like it and you don’t either, but I don’t see any other way.”

“So, I’m just supposed to watch every other guy flirt with you and be okay with it?”

“I’m supposed to watch other women sleep with you and be okay with it?”

“What will make you happy?”

“If you kiss me,” you stated softly.

“Don’t.”

“You asked me.”

“It goes against your rules.”

“I let you fuck me with a vibrator, I send you nudes, I blow you, I let you spit in my mouth, I send you videos...I’m pretty sure we’re way past my fucking rules.”

“I told you before, not while you’re-”

“I’m not asking you to fuck me, I’m asking you to kiss me. You asked me what will make me happy, and being kissed by you will make me happy.”

Andy was hesitant before he dipped down and kissed you softly. The kiss was soft and sweet, but it wasn’t enough for you. You pulled him closer and deepened it, sliding your tongue across his bottom lip.

In no time at all, you were straddling him and making out with him, grinding your hips against his as his hands travel up your bare back.

“We should stop,” Andy husked as you two broke apart. “We should stop before I can’t.”

“Just a little bit more please, Daddy?”

“You’re nothing but trouble when you’re drunk,” he chuckled darkly. “You know exactly what you do to me but you keep pushing.”

“If you really want me to stop, I’ll stop,” you told him honestly.

“Like I said earlier, baby. If you still want this when you’re sober, I’ll be more than happy to do whatever you want over and over again. Until then,”

“I’ll wait,” you whined as he chuckled.

“You’re so fucking sexy, did you know that?”

“You have said it a time or two.”

“Lay down, you. You need your rest.”

“I should be getting home soon-”

“I told Allison about tonight and she said she’ll go to your place and ask...Gloria? She’ll ask her to stay for the night.”

“How pissed was Allison?”

“She said she’ll talk to you about it tomorrow.”

“Fucking great,” you muttered, slowly getting off of him and settling yourself under the covers.

“Just sleep for now, Sweetheart,” Andy told you softly before pressing a kiss into your hair.

From that night on, you and Andy did your best to try and distance yourselves from one another. Andy still paid you the same, but let you go back to serving tables. It’s not as if you were happy about the return, because every guy thought they’d be able to take you upstairs. There was no one who believed you hadn’t slept with Andy, no matter what either of you said, but you were beyond caring. Nothing was getting better at home and you knew your days with were coming to an end.

It didn’t help that, with you going back to serving tables, Andy went back to sleeping with the other girls. On those nights, he made it a point to avoid you and you knew it was because he didn’t want to make you upset. However, you had both decided that, if were going to keep seeing each other as you were, you were both going to need to stop spending so much time together.

With that being said, Tuesdays and Fridays are your favorite days, because they’re the days you two reserve for each other.

“Fuck! Daddy, I love it when you eat my pussy!” you whimper, clawing at his back as you arch your own.

You caved about two weeks after “the incident” and decided that you two needed physical contact. No, he still hadn’t fucked you, but you two always found ways around that.

“Gonna cum for you so soon! Please!” you moan, your release building up.

Andy slides two fingers into your soaked pussy, while his tongue focuses all of its attention on your clit, his grip on your right thigh getting painfully tighter, only adding to your pleasure.

“Fuck!” you yell, cumming all over his fingers, tossing your head back as the relief of your release washes over you.

Andy fucks you with his fingers a little bit longer before removing his finger and holding them up for you to lick and suck clean, while he continued to clean up the mess between your legs.

“Made me wait so fucking long to taste this pussy,” he pants when he finally decides he’s finished.

“I’m so sorry, Daddy,” you moan as he kisses up your body, stopping to lick and suck on each of your nipples, before continuing a trail up to your lips, kissing you deeply. You run your hands through his hair, loving how obsessed he is with every inch of you, trying to bring him as close to you as possible.

“I missed you, Sweetheart,” he breathes hotly against your ear as one of his hands travels down between your legs. “Missed you so fucking much.”

“I missed you too! Shit!” you hiss, feeling yourself come to life for him again.

“Yeah? Did you let any of those assholes down there touch you?”

“N-no! No one can touch me besides you, Daddy!”

“Such a good little slut for me,” he groans as you start to stroke him. “Fuck baby!”

“Any of the other girls get you excited as I do?”

“You know they don’t, baby. They can’t even come close, fuck! Just like that!,” he moans into your neck before biting and sucking on the part of it that always makes you crazy for him.

“Andy! Andy please!” you beg, clawing down his back. “Fuck, I need it! Need to feel you, all of you!” you beg.

That has him stopping.

“Sweetheart...?”

“I’m ready, Andy. I need to feel you,” you pant sincerely.

“Baby, are you sure?”

“I want you, Andy. All of you,” you tell him as you cup his face.

“Get dressed, baby,” he tells you as he forces himself upright and gets off the bed.

“W-what?”

“Our first time, your first time, isn’t gonna be in some fucking whore house. I-”

“Watch it,” you warn, sitting up and searching for your panties.

“You know what I mean. This isn’t the place for something like that. This isn’t the place for us.”

“It’s where we met,” you counter before pulling your skirt on then grabbing your bra and putting it on.

“Stop arguing and follow me out,” he smirks before pinning you against the wall and kissing you deeply.

“I don’t wanna wait anymore, Andy,” you breathe once you two break apart.

“It’s gonna be worth it, I promise.”

You quickly finish getting dressed before Andy leaves and you follow behind a few minutes after.

“Is everything okay?” Lindsey asks as you step out of the elevator. “Andy seemed in a rush to get out of here.”

“Yeah no, everything is fine. We just...uh...”

“Oh,” she smirks. “Are you sure you’re ready for that?”

“if there’s anyone I trust for something like this, it’s Andy,” you confess, trying to hide your smile as your phone buzzes.

“I’m not trying to rain your parade, but you know that Mary won’t forgive you for this.”

“Well, I don’t forgive her so I don’t care.”

“She feels awful, Y/N.”

“Did she tell you that Andy called her that night and told her to never talk to her again?”

“Wait what?”

“Exactly, she doesn’t feel bad because she should. She feels bad because Andy won’t talk to her, and she think he’ll warm up to her if she makes nice to me. Linds, I’m not dumb. I know the whole place think we’re in love, but we’re not. We have an understanding. He does his own thing and I do mine. Of course, we both like each other, a lot, but he doesn’t want a relationship and I don’t want my heart broken. That’s why things are the way they are. We both have a clear understanding of what things are.”

“He fucks other girls but you don’t fuck other guys?”

“Because I don’t want to. I barely wanted to fuck Andy before I got to know him,” you scoff.

“Just be careful, babe. Be careful and have fun,” she smiles at you.

You give her big hug before practically running out of the building and to your car. You check your phone to see that Andy’s sent you to the address to the place he wants you to meet him at and you can’t help but feel relief that it’s not his house.

You’d dropped him off a time or two when he’d been too drunk to get himself home (too upset with Laurie and some of the choices he’d made), and even that always made you terrified. Yeah, Andy swears he’s in open marriage but, somewhere in the back of your mind, you’re never sure if you can truly believe that. People will say anything to get what they want.

Your phone buzzes again while you’re at a stop light and the smile on your face quickly falls away when you see who it’s from.

Twin Flame: Please talk to me. I’m so fucking sorry and, if you could just hear me out, I really think we can work this out. Please, I miss you.

Y/N: Fuck off.

When you finally reach your destination, those damn butterflies appear all over again. You feel strange and you don’t know why. It’s not like you and Andy been physical (what feels like ) a million times before, so why does this have you so nervous?

You jump as your phone goes off, forcing you out of your thoughts.

“Where are you?” Andy asks as soon as you answer.

“In the parking lot.”

“Then why don’t I see you?”

“Where are you?” you chuckle, making your way to the entrance of the lavish hotel.

“In the lobby,” he responds and you can hear the smirk in his voice.

“You’re such a smart ass,” you scoff.

“And you’re slow. Get your gorgeous ass in here,” he chides before hanging up.

You quickly make your way inside and the moment Andy spots you, he makes his way over to you and kisses you deeply, clearly not caring about the lobby full of people.

“Andy,” you breathe softly with a small chuckle as you two break away “someone could see.”

“So what? Who cares?”

“You will when we’re done.”

Andy opens his mouth to say something, but stops short and chuckles instead. “Lets get to our room, huh?”

You don’t miss the way the older receptionist looks at you with pure disgust, and you can’t blame her. Andy is older and wearing a wedding ring, and you? Well, your outfit isn’t in the least bit modest, no wedding ring, and you don’t look old enough to be the wife who lost your ring.

“Is there a problem?” Andy asks, noticing how uncomfortable you are.

“No problem at all, Mr. Barber,” the woman quickly smiles as she hands him the room key.

“Leave her alone, Andy,” you mutter, knowing the he’ll have no issue with seeing to it that she gets fired.

Andy looks from you to the woman before nodding. “Thank you,” is all he says before taking your hand and walking off.

“What was that about?” you ask as soon as you two are in the elevator.

“I didn’t like how she was looking at you, and I didn’t like how uncomfortable you were.”

“Andy, it’s not like we’re a couple. There’s a wedding ring on your finger and there isn’t one on mine. I don’t blame her,” you shrug.

“Stop that.”

“Stop what? Telling the truth?”

“Sweetheart, we don’t say it, but we know this is more than just some arrangement at this point. What I decide to do with my time away from Laurie isn’t anyone’s concern. When I’m with you, you’re my main concern.”

“I’m sure you say that to all the girls,” you chuckle humorlessly.

“Let me fix that; no matter what I do with anyone else, you’re my main concern,” he corrects with a stern voice as his intense gaze softens on you.

“Andy-”

“You know you mean so much to me. Too much to me. Stop saying you’re some mistress, because we both know you aren’t,” he states as the elevator finally reaches the top floor.

“As long as you’re married-”

“Jacob graduates soon, and when he does, my marriage is over. That’s what Laurie wanted, so that’s what she’s getting.”

“Is that what you want?”

“I want nothing more.”

“Then what happens?”

“With what?”

“Oh, don’t play coy now,” you smirk as you two reach the hotel room.

“I’m not going to lie and say I’ll want a relationship, because I’m still not there. I honestly don’t know if I ever will be, but I know how I feel about you. I know that I won’t want to stop seeing you, and I hope you won’t want to stop seeing me,” he sighs as he leans against the door. “I know I’m a wreck, Y/N. I never told you I wasn’t, but you...there’s just something about you and I can’t let you go. I don’t want to. I like having you to myself, the way you look at me when you’re fighting the urge to kiss me, the way you roll your eyes when you’re fed up but trying to be polite. I like how loyal you are, how strong and independent you are, how generous you are, how feisty you are...I like you, Y/N. I like you a lot. I don’t do things like this. You see how I do things. I take what I want and I leave. I don’t care how anyone else feels as long as I get my way, but with you...God, I just wanna make you happy.”

“Why Andy? Why me?”

“I really wish I knew, Sweetheart,” he chuckles humorlessly “then maybe I could finally figure out how to be a better man and let you go. However,” he sighs softly leaning in close and wrapping an arm your waist “I’m just not there yet and I don’t want to let you go. If you want to stop right now, I’ll understand and we won’t go a step further,” he promises quietly and sincerely, his gaze burning a hole into your soul.

“Andy...”

“I didn’t think things would get this far, Y/N. I didn’t mean for things to and I didn’t want them to. You’re the smarter of the two of us, because you keep saying that we should stop, but the thought of any of those assholes other knowing you the way I do or touching you the way I do...I’m a selfish man, Y/N. You know that.”

“What do you want me to say?” you practically beg as your desire for every part of him grows.

His heart, his mind, his soul, his body...all of him.

“I want you to tell me the truth.”

“I don’t want you to quit me and I don’t want to quit you,” you confess mindlessly, too lost in his words and your feelings to guard your heart.

He forces you to face forward before pressing his card against the door, “then lets get lost in each other tonight. Tomorrow can worry about itself,” he promises before opening the door and leading you inside the suite.

You can’t stop the gasp that escapes your lips.

“Baby-”

“It’s your real first time and our first time together. I wanted it to be special,” he chuckles softly before kissing the shell of your ear.

“You didn’t have to do all of this,” you marvel as you look around the room.

They’re black and deep red rose petals scattered around the room, champagne and your favorite wine, small candles lighting up the room, and one of your favorite songs is playing on the little speaker set up in the corner for you.

“Andy...this must have cost-”

“Don’t worry about the cost. Besides, the hotel owner owes me a few favors.”

“How many people owe you favors, Andy?”

“Do you like the things I get you? The things I do for you?”

“Yes but-”

“Then don’t worry about it, Darlin’,” you whispers into your ear as he wraps his arms around you and pulls you close to him. “Are you sure you want this?”

“No,” you chuckle softly, “but not being with you...not being with you completely...I don’t like it, Andy. I know that we’re not together, but I want as much of you as I can have. I know this is a bad idea, but I just...you make me happy. When you’re not being an asshole,” you laugh softly as he chuckles. “You make me so happy and I just wanna live in that happiness for a bit. None of this is ideal, or how I pictured it in my head a million times, but I’m with you. I’m with you and that’s all that matters.”

Andy starts to trail kisses down your neck to your shoulder and you’re embarrassed by how excited you are by the simple gesture. It’s not something he hasn’t done before, but everything feels different. You two have been more vulnerable and honest with each other in this moment than you have been the entire time you’ve been seeing each other.

“Andy...does this mean as much to you as it does to me?” You question desperately as you lull your head back onto his shoulder.

“Maybe more,” he husks as he unzips your skirt. “The way I feel for you...it terrifies me, Sweetheart,” he confesses as he slides his hand down your panties. “But I just can’t fucking quit you, because you’re so fucking perfect. Perfect for me,” he groans, starting to rub your clit.

“Andy,” you moan, your back arching a bit at the pleasure he’s making you feel.

“I want tonight to be perfect for you, because you’re always so fucking perfect for me. I just wanna make you happy, baby.”

He turns you around and kisses you deeply, as you get to work on getting the button and zipper on his pants open before forcing his pants down. He slowly walks you both over to the bed, never breaking the kiss, as his hands slide underneath your shirt and unhook your bra.

“Andy,” you moan as he trails kisses down to your shoulder again, “I need you, please.”

“Soon baby, I promise,” he moans, getting on his knees as you lift up your shirt. “Just wanna taste you a little bit more. The fucking sounds you make...fuck,” he groans, pulling your panties down. “I’m gonna make you feel so good tonight, baby.”

Andy’s tongue is on your clit before you have a chance to respond, and it makes you mindlessly numb. You use one hand to grip the bed as the other grips his hair. You can’t stop yourself from pulling him impossibly closer as you start to grind yourself against him, needing more of him as you always do.

“You’re so fucking good to me, baby, so fucking good,” you whimper as you feel yourself coming undone.

Andy slides two fingers into your aching cunt, and without even moving within you, it’s more than enough to send you over the edge. You can’t tell if it’s because you’ve been dreaming of having him to yourself just like this for the past month, or if it’s because you’re so excited to finally have him away from everyone and truly all to yourself. Your need for him is stronger than ever.

“Fuck, you’re so needy tonight, baby,” he huffs once he finishes cleaning you up.

“I’m sorry-”

“Don’t you fucking dare apologize, I fucking love it,” he smiles devilishly. “Get on the bed for me, Sweetheart,” he instructs, “get on the bed and take your shirt off,” he demands softly before removing his own.

As you settle into the center of the bed, the reality of what’s about to happen hits you hard. You’re very aware of how naked you are as Andy kisses up your body. Your brain is telling you to call it off and to run for the door.

“Hey, be here with me,” he coos softly as he cups your face in his hands. “We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

“I do want to, so bad, I just...is this a bad idea?”

“Probably,” he chuckles humorlessly, “but I don’t care. I’m self destructive anyway. I just wanna be with you, Y/N. I don’t know what’s gonna happen tomorrow and I don’t wanna think about it. All I know is that, right now, I have you to myself. There’s no pretending, no lying, you’re not working, and I’m not trying to forget about shit that still hurts. It’s just us, Sweetheart. If you don’t want to do this, I’m perfectly fine with that. I’m happy to just be here with you and hold you. I’m just happy just to have you to myself for a little while,” he states sincerely, his loving gaze cast on you.

You cup his face and pull him close before kissing him deeply. “Show me how happy you are to be with me, then,” you tell him softly once you two break away.

Andy dips down and kisses you again while slowly pushing himself inside of you. You hiss a little as you try to get used to his size. Yeah, he’s fucked you with toys that are almost his size, but none of them are exact.

Or real.

“Jesus,” he husks as he bottoms out, “you feel better than I ever imagined,” he moans as he starts to move within you slowly.

“Andy,” you moan softly as you start to move your hips with his, gipping him tight. “God, yes!”

“Shit, just like that baby. You’re so fucking good for me,” he praises as he starts to pick up his pace. Using one hand, he pushes himself up a little and gazes down at you, never breaking his stroke. “You’re so fucking beautiful, did you know that?”

“Baby please,” you whine, unable to handle the heat of his gaze and your excitement starting to build as you pull him close to you, needing to feel as much of him as possible. “I need to feel you!”

“I’ve thought about having you just like this for so long,” he grunts, his hand sliding between the both of you. “All mine, below me, and desperate,” he grunts he starts playing with your most sensitive bud. “Desperate for only me.”

“Fuck!”

“And I’m gonna give you everything you want,” he promises hotly against your ear before biting the shell of it.

“Andy...you’re so fucking good to me! Please, I’m so fucking close!”

As his pace quickens, he starts to bite and suck on the part of your neck that drives you insane, and you’re more than sure he plans on leaving a mark.

“Fuck!” you cry out, your nails digging into his back as you cum hard.

“There’s my good girl,” he smirks down at you before flipping you both so you’re on top. “I wanna watch you get yourself off on my cock.”

“Andy I-”

“I’ll guide you, baby. Don’t worry,” he encourages as he places his hands on your hips and gently starts to guide you. You bite your bottom lip, suppressing a moan as you place your hands on his chest and slowly start to grind your hips against his. “Fuck, just like that, Sweetheart,” he groans.

His gaze on you is intense and you feel like, just for a moment, you two are the only two in the world. You belong to one another, even if it’s only for a little while.

“Shit, you stretch me so fucking good, Andy!” you whimper as you start to pick up your pace.

“Yeah baby? You like the way I fuck this tight little pussy?”

“I fucking love the way you fuck me! I love the way you pull me apart for your own pleasure!”

“Jesus, Y/N! Keep it up and I’m gonna cum!” he warns with a deep growl as his hands travel your up your body, stopping at your breasts, starting to massage them.

“Fuck, that’s what I want, baby! Cum deep inside this pussy! I wanna feel you! Need it!”

“Shit!” he growls, kneading your nipples between his fingers. “The way this fucking cunt is squeezing me...shit!”

“Please baby!”

“Fuck!”

As his seed spills into you, his name leaves your lips like a silent prayer as you get lost in your euphoric pleasure. It’s not the first time Andy’s given you an orgasm, but it’s never been like this. Your whole body feels as if it’s been blown apart and put back together in the most pleasurable way. The fact that you don’t want the feeling to leave you has you terrified, because you’re now aware just how much you truly care for Andy.

“We’re...we’re done, right? This is all you wanted from me?” you question, the words breaking your own heart as you look down and meet his gaze.

You seen the pain in his eyes for a split second before he masks it and a sly smirk comes to his face. “Oh Sweetheart, we’re just getting started.”

Andy fucks you in every part of the hotel room he can, only stopping when you tell him that you need to get home. He’s reluctant to let you go, but he quietly watches you get dressed as he drinks a glass of wine while laying in bed.

You go to leave before turning to face him. Against your better judgment, you walk over to him and kiss him deeply. When you takes your face in his hands he runs his fingers through your hair. For a split moment, you contemplate staying.

But you know that’ll make everything that much more worse and complicated.

“Thank you for tonight. Everything was perfect,” you breathe against his lips as you two break apart.

“I don’t want you to leave.”

“I know baby, but we both know I have to. For multiple reasons.”

“We can meet here on Tuesday.”

“Andy-”

“It’s not like you want anyone knowing that you’re not a virgin anymore, and I don’t want to share you with those other assholes.”

“I share you with half the club.”

“Y/N-”

“See, this is why I need to go. Tonight was perfect and lets just leave it at that.”

“Don’t leave mad.”

“I’m not mad, Andy. I’m just back in touch with reality. I’ve gotta go, babe,” you sigh before kissing his lips and walking away.

The entire drive back to your house, you’re at war with yourself over the choice you made. Andy isn’t yours and you’re more than sure that he’ll never be. However, you can’t find yourself regretting the choice you’ve made because you were with Andy, and despite everything, there’s no one else you trust more.

“You seem to be coming home later these days,” your mother coughs as walk into the living area.

“Work is something else, what can I say?” you sigh, sitting down beside her bed.

“That or you finally met someone,” she smiles softly.

“I met someone I can never be with, so please don’t get excited,” you scoff.

“Why not?”

“It’s complicated.”

“My brain may not work as well as it used to, but it’s still got some juice.”

“Don’t worry about it, mom. I’ll get over it.”

“Listen, you and I both know I don’t have much time left-”

“Mom-”

“Just listen to me, babygirl. We both know I don’t have much time left and I just don’t want you to be alone. Mary came by today and told me you two had a falling out that was her fault. You won’t talk to your sister or father and now you’re falling for a guy. I just want you to be okay when I’m gone. I know you’re strong and can make it on your own, but that doesn’t mean you have to be,” she says softly.

“Lets just watch the movie, Ma,” you smile as a single tear escapes from your eye. “This is the best part.”

As you both slowly fall asleep, your brain is at war with your heart. Andy means more to you than you ever wanted him to, and you find little solace in the fact that he feels the same. He can get rid of you at any time and then what? Why did you let it get this far?

As these thoughts and more run through your head, you fall asleep hoping that there may be a silver lining for you somewhere...and that it’ll show itself soon.

Andy’s P.OV.

“Who is she?!” Laurie yells for what feels like the hundredth time, as she follows me into the bedroom.

“She’s someone who is none of your concern. Why were you going through my phone?”

“It kept going off!”

“That doesn’t explain why you went through it, Laurie.”

“I went to answer it and when I grabbed it, it stopping ringing. I saw the name ‘Angel’ in your texts and I got curious-”

“So decided to make yourself upset and go through my shit and now you’re mad at me? Mad at me for doing the same thing you’re doing?”

“Is she where all of the money is going?”

“Lower your voice, Jacob is home,” I warn as I take off my tie. “I don’t owe you an explanation, Laurie. This is the set up you wanted and in 2 months, we won’t even be married. So drop it.”

“No! I’ve been trying for months to try and fix the mess I made-”

“Exactly! The mess you made! What did I do when I found in bed with James? I fucking tried to make it work! I loved you! I loved you and I took responsibility for everything that happened, and you didn’t want me! You didn’t want our life anymore! Now, you’re getting what you want and you’re still not happy!”

“I thought this is what I wanted! I fucked up, Andy and I’m sorry!”

“You know what makes this all that much worse? This woman that you find yourself hating, for absolutely no reason, is fucking amazing! She’s amazing and I want to love her and commit, but I fucking can’t because of you!”

“Doesn’t that mean there’s still a chance for us?”

“You’re not understanding me!” I snap, no longer giving a damn that Jacob can hear us and finally hear about whats been going on for the last few years. “It’s not because I still love you, it’s because you fucking ruined me! Jesus, do you think of anyone but yourself? Honestly, do you even care that you fucking crushed my heart?”

“Andy, if you could just-”

“I need to go for a drive,” I huff, pulling out of her hold.

“Please just stay and talk to me.”

“I can’t Laurie. Not right now. I just fucking can’t,” I sigh before slamming the door shut and walking out.

“Is everything alright?” Jacob asks as soon as I reach the landing.

“No, no they aren’t. In fact, they’re far from all right.”

“Dad, what’s-”

“We’ll talk about it when I get back,” I mutter as I hear Laurie starting to cry.

“Dad...is this my fault? Did I-”

“You did nothing wrong,” I smile sincerely before pulling him in for a tight hug, “things just change. People change.”

“Are you coming home early tonight?”

“I’ll back in a couple hours, bud. We can watch a movie or play chess. I still have to kick your ass from the last time,” I chuckle softly and Jacob laughs too. “No matter what, everything’s gonna be fine, okay? I don’t want you worrying about us when you’re so close to finally getting out of this hell hole.”

“Dad are you-”

“Everything’s fine. Don’t worry,” I promise as I clear my throat, taking a look at the grown man that once used to beg Laurie and I to stay up with him for 5 more minutes to watch cartoons.

Things really do change.

“I’ll be back in a little, bud,” I smile before patting his shoulder and walking out.

The minute I get in my car I pull out my phone and text you because, if I’m being honest with myself, you’re the reason for my outburst. It’s been two weeks since we fucked and you refuse to meet at the hotel. It’s not like I can say you’re in the wrong, because we did fuck up.

I fucked up.

I knew better than to give in to what I want, but everything about is all consuming. It’s not even just the sex. For a moment in time, we can pretend. We can pretend and it’s just us. You make every part of me come to life, and if I could, I’d spend every moment of ever day with you.

It’s never lost on me that I wouldn’t have even met you if you didn’t want to take care of your mother. Who the fuck does that? Who the hell is that selfless?

Andy: Is there any way that I can see you tonight?

Angel: Andy, it’s Saturday. You know I can’t.

Andy: Well when?

Angel: You see me Tuesday-Friday.

Andy: Is there no way you can see me tonight? Even for just five minutes?

Angel: Baby, what’s wrong?

Andy: What isn’t wrong.

Angel: Andy.

Andy: Laurie went through my phone.

Angel: Fuck.

Andy: Yeah, she’s pretty pissed and it led to a big argument. I said some things...I said them out of anger I shouldn’t have. I just need to see you.

Angel: Things aren’t going well today. I can give you 10 minutes at most.

Andy: That’s more than enough time.

Angel: Meet me by the water front?

Andy: I’ll see you there

Here I go again, asking too much of you, and here you are not making a fuss. Why can’t I just let go? Why can’t I just give myself to you, the way you deserve? It’s not like I don’t think about it every second of every day. I can barely even fuck the other girls, because I know it hurts you, even without you saying anything.

It’s not fair of me to ask you to only be with me while I fuck away my feelings, but I just can’t bear the thought of you being with someone else. I see it every time you look at me. The things you want to say but won’t, the longing, the hate, the passion, the begging, the desire, the pain...I see all of it.

I see all of it because I feel all of the same things. I feel it all and it makes me feel like shit.

So what do I do? I offer you all of the things you could care less about, because it’s easier to do that than give you my heart and soul. It’s easier to guard myself than to try again.

If your Mother wasn’t sick, you wouldn’t care about money. You don’t care about jewelry, you don’t care about flowers, and you don’t care about sweet nothings because it’s hard for you to believe what anyone says.

However, all of it is coming from me. The sweet words, the flowers, the jewelry...if it wasn’t from me, it wouldn’t matter at all to you. You tell me all the time about how I have nothing to worry about because none of the guys who try to buy attention have anything to offer, but I know it’s different with me. It’s not-

“What happened?” you ask as you tap on the driver’s window.

It takes me a split second before opening the door, pulling you in and onto my lap, and closing it again. “Why can’t we just live together?”

“Baby, what’s wrong?”

“She knows and I can’t just make her leave, no much how I want her to.”

“I thought you were going to give her the house.”

“It doesn’t matter,” I sigh, resting my head in your shoulder as you adjust yourself on my lap. “Why can’t we just stay this way forever?” I sigh before kissing your neck. “Lets just leave right now-”

“Please don’t, Andy,” you moan, your grip on my thigh tightening a little.

God, I love the things you do to me.

“Lets meet at the hotel on Tuesday,” I press, kissing down your neck as my hand travels between your leg. “I need you.”

“Andy-”

“Sweetheart...I know. I know and I’m sorry, but I need you. Every part of you and I need you to myself.”

“Will it make you happy?” you ask innocently as your hand caresses my arm.

Why do I have to be such an asshole? “Anytime I get to spend with you makes me happy, Sweetheart. You know this.”

“I know, but will it make you feel better?”

“Only if you want to.”

“You know it’s not a matter of me not wanting to,” you sigh and the heaviness in your tone matches the heaviness in my heart. “It’s because we are what we are.”

“Yeah, that’s my fault too. Fuck, I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry,” I grumble into your shoulder.

I really wish I could tell you just how much I care for you. Care about you. I want to make you the center of my universe and take care of you until my last breath leaves my body.

I wanna tell you that I love you and that I always will.

But I can’t.

“Don’t apologize because it’s not like I’m any better. I’m still here, aren’t I? I’m still desperate to make you happy. I’m just as dumb as you are. I have to go though, baby.”

“It’s been 10 minutes already?”

“It’s been 15,” you scoff. “I’ll meet you at the hotel on Tuesday, okay?”

“You sure?”

“Yeah baby, I gotta go,” you sigh before kissing me.

I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t help it. I pull you closer and deepen it, not ready to let you go yet.

It’s never been lost on me just how truly selfish I am.

For just a moment, you let me explore you as we both get lost it each other. Just like we always do. Once I start tugging at the hem of your shorts, you force yourself to break away, and it’s just as painful as when you leave me.

“Tuesday baby, I gotta go,” you breathe, your grip on me still tight as you try and calm down.

“Please wear these shorts.”

“I promise I will,” you chuckle softly before kissing my cheek one final time and opening the car door and getting out.

As I watch you start your car and drive away, i can’t help but try and think of the last time I was ever this excited to see someone and make plans to see them again, but not a single time comes to mind.

What are you doing to me?

**

“Fuck! Andy! Just like that, please don’t stop!” you moan as Andy fucks you senseless from behind.

The moment you walked through the door, Andy was all over you. It caught you off guard, because you’re never sure of his feelings for you. Sure, you believe he cares about you to an extent, but it’s still an arrangement. He pays you, he fucks you, then goes home to his wife. It would be easier to believe some of the things he says if things felt like they were changing even a little. You wanna let yourself fall for him, but he’s just too much of a risk.

Yet, here you are on your hands and knees for the man you can’t get out of your head, or heart.

“Fuck, you’re such a good girl for me, baby! You take me so well,” he grunts, his grip on your hips getting tighter. “I missed you so much, baby! Missed the way you explode for me, the sounds you make, this tight little cunt...I missed everything about you!”

“Jesus, that’s it!” you cry out as he finds the spot deep within you that makes you come undone for him. “I missed you too, Andy! So much!” you confess, the pleasure once again becoming mind numbing and you forget to keep your guard up. “Thought about nothing but being with you tonight since the last time I saw you!”

“Yeah? You love seeing me, Angel?” he taunts as one of his hands travels down between your legs and starts to teasingly rub your swollen clit.

“Ye-yes, Andy! Fuck! I’m so fucking close, baby! Please...shit!”

“I love the way you come apart for me,” he husks as his movements start to become erratic and you know he’s close. “Fuck, I love you, Y/N!” he accidentally confesses as he spills his seed into you.

You don’t even have time to think on it, because his release sets off your own, while mindlessly clawing at the bed, trying to keep yourself upright. That’s the third earth shattering orgasm hes given you, and you’re not about to complain about it.

You want nothing more than to focus on all the pleasure you’re feeling, but you can’t because he said it.

He said it and you’re not sure what to think at all.

“Sweetheart,” Andy grunts as he pulls out of you and pulls you out of your thoughts “say something.”

“W-why...why did you say that?”

“I’m sorry. I’m so fucking-”

“Andy, why would you say that? What is wrong with you?”

“Baby, if you just let me-”

“Is this a game to you? Why would you say something you don’t mean? You can’t mean?

“Y/N, please just listen to me. I just-” he starts but is interrupted by your phone ringing for the millionth time.

“Fuck,” you sigh, crawling over to the nightstand and grabbing it. “Hello?”

“I need you to come home,” Gloria, your mother’s nurse, states frantically.

“What happened? Is she okay?” you ask, slowly starting to panic yourself as you start to get dressed.

“She just keeps crying and screaming for you to come home. I can’t calm her down.”

“I’ll be there in 20,” you promise before hanging up.

“What’s wrong? How can I help?”

“I just need to get home, now. I can’t...I have to go,” you sob as you finish getting dressed.

“Sweetheart, please just-”

“You can’t call me that anymore, Andy. I can’t talk about this right now...there’s just too much...I gotta go,” you explain before practically running out.

The entire time you’re driving home, you try to put everything that happened with Andy out of your mind, because you can’t deal with that and with whatever is going on with your mother at the same time. By the time you get home, you’re mother is in full on hysterics and it takes both you and Gloria the rest of the night to calm her down. By the time you two calm her down and get her to sleep, you can tell her energy is all but gone from the episode.

“I think you should spend the next few days home, Honey,” Gloria states solemnly as you two stand in the doorway.

“Yeah...I think so too,” you sob softly.

“She just wants your company. We all know it won’t be long now and I think she’s just scared. She’s scared to leave you.”

“I’m scared for her to leave me,” you cry softly.

“It’s gonna be okay,” Gloria whispers as she wraps you in a tight hug “just make the best of the next few days.”

So, you do just that. You ask your sister and father to come over (at your Mother’s request), but stay in your room the entire time they’re there. You called Samantha and let her know that you’re taking the next few weeks off, and all she does is offer apologies about everything. Lindsey and Allison come by later in the week to spend time with you and your Mother, and you can’t remember the last time you saw her smile and laugh so much.

Andy keeps texting you and can’t find the energy or courage to respond. It’s been three days since the ‘I love you’ incident, and while you feel bad about ignoring him, you’re heart just can’t handle having that talk at the moment.

You can’t handle him telling you that it was an accident and he didn’t mean it.

However, you don’t find yourself all that surprised when he shows up at your doorstep on Saturday.

“How did you even find my house?” you ask softly, stepping outside and leaving the door cracked.

“Samantha,” he says simply and you know he isn’t proud of himself.

“Andy, I can’t do this right now. You can’t be here.”

“I know you have a lot going on, but the way you left that night...I never wanted to hurt or make you upset. You deserve-”

“Andy, I really can’t handle this right now. I need some time and I’ll text you in a few-”

“Sweet Pea, who’s at the door?” your Mother calls weakly from the living area.

“It’s no one, Ma.”

“If it were no one you wouldn’t be out there so long,” she teases with a small laugh. “Let them in, maybe they can help us solve the mystery to the end of ‘Grease.”

“He really can’t-”

“He? Oh, now you’ve gotta let him in!”

“Fucking great,” you mutter stepping aside. “c’mon in.”

“I don’t want to make things worse.”

“Yeah, it’s a little too late for that,” you smile sarcastically.

You don’t miss the gasp that escapes your Mother’s lips when Andy walks in, charming smile on his face. “Andy Barber, I didn’t know you knew my daughter!” she beams and you can’t help but chuckle.

Even on her deathbed, your Mother is still the most adorable proud Mother in the world.

“I met her in the grocery store one night, I shop when I can’t sleep, and we just hit it off. She’s been a really good friend to me ever since,” he smiles sincerely at your Mother and it’s hard for you not to smile at her genuine happiness.

If only you could tell her the truth.

“Well, Mr. Barber, if you-”

“Please call me Andy.”

“Andy, if you have time, I’d really like for you to join us. Besides, I’m sure Y/N could use more other company than me.”

“Ma,” you groan as Andy laughs softly.

“I’d love to spend some time with the both of you,” he smiles sheepishly at the both of you.

You hate the little flutter that happens in your heart.

“Are you sure no one will mind me trapping you here with us?” your Mother questions, and you chuckle as you shake your head, knowing what she’s getting at.

“Nah, Jacob is off with his girlfriend then staying over a friend’s house,” he scoffs.

“And your wife?” she questions, eyeing the gold band on his ring finger.

“That’s uh,” he answers awkwardly, shifting his weight to his other foot “that’s over with. This is just for show until the end of next month,” he finishes softly, before looking at you with all sincerity.

“Then, by all means, make yourself comfortable,” your Mother grins looking from you to him.

“Does anyone want anything to drink?” you question, raising an eyebrow as you kick your slippers off.

“Can I have more ice chips?” your Mother questions with a slight cough.

“You can have the moon, as well as an answer to your life’s greatest mystery,” you smile at her, gaining a small laugh. “Andy?”

“Water?”

“You seem like a bourbon guy,” your Mother states, waiving off his request for a water. “We still have bourbon, right?”

“That we do,” you laugh.

“Get him a bourbon, me some ice chips, and you some wine.”

“Ma, I don’t need-”

“Trust me, I know you don’t need it, but I know you want it. You don’t have to drink water and juice all day because I can’t have it.”

“You sure?”

“I have a feeling that one of us is gonna need to be buzzed in order to solve this case,” she smirks at you as you giggle.

“Three drinks comin’ right up,” you nod before escaping into the kitchen to make them.

You can’t remember the last time you worked so fast to get two simple drinks together, and a cup of fucking ice, but you don’t want either of them alone together for too long cause who knows what they’ll say to one another. You’re all set to bring the drinks in when your phone goes off.

“Hello?” you answer without even checking to see who it is.

“Hey Baby Doll,” your Father says softly and you can feel your heart rate speed up. “Do you have a minute to talk?”

“No, not really. What do you want?”

“I uh...I um...I wanna see you for lunch next week, Kiddo,” he beams excitedly. “I know you don’t wanna have anything to do with me, which is more than understandable, but I was hoping-”

“I really can’t have this talk right now. Mom and I have company over, so I gotta go,” you say abruptly before ending the call.

You take a deep breath and take step back, doing your best to mask all signs of irritation and frustration, before clearing your throat and starting back on your short trek to the living area, only to find them laughing about something that clearly has nothing to do with the movie.

What’s so damn funny?

“Hey, that took longer than I expected,” your smiles at you with a small cough “everything okay?”

“Yeah, I just got an unexpected call,” you shrug, passing the two of them their requested drinks. “What’s so funny?”

“You,” she muses.

“Me?”

“You really used to think that carat and carrot were the same thing?” Andy laughs in pure disbelief.

“I was 6! How was I supposed to know?!” you defend, laughing yourself as you take a seat on the sofa.

“She would come in and hold up a bag of carrots and say ‘Mommy, you never have to work again! We can turn these into rings and be rich!’ , and I never had the heart to tell her,” your Mother laughs.

“Sweetheart, how did you think you’d turn the carrots into diamond rings?” Andy chuckles, trying to calm his laughing.

“She was the adult, so I figured she’d know what to do!”

“And when she wasn’t able to make them into diamond rings”

“I just thought I got bad carrots,” you shrug with a giggle as Andy laughs harder.

“Oh Baby...no,”  he sighs, catching his breath finally.

“I don’t see how this helps us solve our ‘Grease’ issue,” you mumble as a smile plays on your lips.

When you press play, your Mother and Andy quickly fall into conversation, and you let yourself almost forget who Andy really is to you at the end of the day. It’s almost easy to forget what the arrangement you two have is. It only feels so right because, in the back of your mind, it is.

If this had been any other life, or any other time, maybe you and Andy would have a fighting chance. You’d be able to introduce him as your complicated boyfriend, and your Mother would have more time to adjust to the idea. You would have more time to adjust to the idea. However, the situation is what it is, and can only enjoy what’s left of it.

No matter how much it breaks your heart.

“I genuinely think the car us able to fly away because the woman says that ‘if the car were any better condition, it would fly’. Since Danny and Sandra decided that they’re meant to be, the car has everything it needs. Oil, a good muffler, a great engine, quality breaks, and true love. True love is what put it in the best condition,” Andy shrugs before finishing off his 4th drink.

“Ya know what? That’s not a bad way to think about it. Sweet Pea, we have an answer! I can die happy,” your Mother chuckles as you roll your eyes.

“Simmer down you,” you warn, giving her a smirk. “What do you wanna watch next?”

“Oh, what’s that movie you used to love as a kid? That Disney movie.”

“Mommy....no.”

“Oh, what was it? You used to make me watch it with you every weekend! You broke the damn tape!”

“Mom!” you beg as you hear Andy start to chuckle. “Don’t you have somewhere to be?”

“I’ve got nothin’ but time today, Sweetheart,” he smirks at you.

“The Little Mermaid!”

“Mom...please don’t do this to me,” you whine as Andy bursts out laughing. “I’ll do anything, just please...no!”

“I haven’t seen it in so long! Lets watch it!”

“Yes, I think we should,” Andy agreed once he caught his breath.

“Oh no you don’t,” you quickly correct, turning to face him. “If you’re gonna stay here and watch the little bit dignity I have left quickly fall away, you’re getting us food.”

“I’ll happily get you food if it means I get to watch you sing Disney songs.”

“I will not be singing along!”

“Oh yes you will,” your Mother giggles.

“The two of you together is no good,” you snip at her sarcastically and she laughs.

“You want the usual?” Andy asks, taking out his phone.

“Yes please. Oh! Ask them for chopsticks please!” you beg as Andy smirks and shakes his head.

“Can I get you anything?”

“Eh, I’m not supposed to, but I’ll have an egg roll,” your Mother shrugs as you cut her a look. “What? I’m gonna die either way. I may as well eat what I want.”

“You’re very annoying, did you know that?”

“Oh, I wouldn’t ever wanna be any other way,” she teases.

“I’ll go and place the order,” Andy smiles before exiting the room.

“Your usual, huh?” your Mother smirks knowingly.

“Don’t start.”

“Hes been calling you ‘sweetheart’ and ‘baby’ since he got here.”

“That’s just how Andy talks.”

“He hasn’t called me either of those.”

“Yeah well, that’s your old.”

“I’m not that old!”

“You’re the oldest person in here,” you tease as she lets out a hearty laugh. “We’re just friends, Ma. No more and no less.”

“A mother knows, ya know.”

“There can never be anything. He’s in his own shit and I’m not strong enough to deal with it.”

“I don’t know anything about him except what comes on the TV, so I���m not gonna make a judgment, but I do see how he looks at you. How you look at him. There’s definitely something there and maybe, with time, it could be something more.”

“If only,” you smile softly, holding back your tears.

“Alright, the food has been ordered, please play ‘The Little Mermaid’,” Andy beams as he quickly makes his way back inside.

You do nothing but shake your head and look for the movie on the streaming service you always use, while your Mother starts laughing.

As she predicted, you’re singing along as soon as the first song starts playing. You hear your Mother and Andy laughing softly, but you don’t care. You can’t remember the last time you felt so safe and happy, and you feel extremely happy that you get to experience the feeling with both your Mother and Andy.

You want to live in the moment forever.

You’re barely 15 minutes into the movie before there’s a knock on the door.

“That was quick,” you say, checking your phone for the time. “I’ll get it!” you volunteer before getting up and sprinting to the door. “I think that’s the fastest we’ve ever...oh,” you say flatly when you see the person on the side of the door is Mary. “Whatever you have to say, I can’t hear right now.”

“Y/N, please, if you would just hear me out-”

“There’s literally nothing to hear. There’s nothing you can say.”

“There’s so much to say! Just give me five minutes, please!”

“No! I have nothing to say to you and I don’t want to hear anything you have to say!”

“Y/N, we’ve gotten through so many other-”

“Not like this, Mary. I don’t care how drunk you were, you fucking knew what something like that would to me. How much it would hurt me and you still decided to hurt me. I didn’t deserve that, especially from you,” you spit, your eyes watering. “Whatever you have to say, I’m not ready to hear it and I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready to. You don’t get to force your friendship on me because you’re lonely.”

“I’m not...I just want-”

“Hey babe, is everything...oh,” Andy stops short seeing Mary at your doorstep.

“So you two are-”

“We’re just-”

“Whatever we are or aren’t isn’t any concern of yours,” Andy interrupts harshly. “You need to leave.”

“You can’t tell me-”

“I can and I just did. She doesn’t need this right now and you’ve done enough.”

Mary looks from him to you before shaking her head and practically running off.

“Are you okay?” Andy sighs as you close the door.

“I don’t have much of a choice, do I?”

“Sweetheart-”

“She’s having a really good day, Andy. That’s all I can focus on right now,” you state softly, looking up at him.

Andy dips down and kisses you softly as he wraps his arms around you. “I’ll answer the door next time, okay?” All you do is nod before laying your head on his chest. “Lets get back in there.”

“Just a few more minutes.”

“That’s fine too.”

You don’t care that you’re upset with Andy or completely confused by his words and actions. In this moment, it just matters that he’s here and he’s comforting you. Out of all the ways that he could’ve chosen to spend his day, he’s choosing to spend it with you and your Mother. He’s choosing to stay and make both your Mother and you happy, instead of going out and doing whatever he wants.

Andy chooses you.

You both stay there for a few more minutes before going back into the living area. You assure your Mother that every thing is fine before pressing ‘play’ on the remote, resuming the scene where she starts singing ‘Part Of Your World’. When the food finally does arrive, Andy is true to his word and answers the door.

As the night goes on, your Mother drifts in and out of sleep as the final movie of the night (Alice in Wonderland) starts playing.

“Are you okay, Mom? Do you need anything?” you ask, noticing her nod off for the 10th time.

“I’m fine, Sweet Pea. Just tired,” she smiles at you weakly. “Wanna do pancakes in the morning?”

“Mmm, I think tomorrow is gonna be more of a waffle day.”

“Pancakes are better and I’m tired of you pretending they aren’t.”

“One day you’ll know peace and I’ll be proud of you.”

“You’re such a little shit,” she laughs. “Give me a kiss goodnight.”

“So damn needy,” you tease before getting up and giving her a kiss on the cheek and the tightest hug you can muster without hurting her.

“I could stay in your hugs forever,” she murmurs, and you hear the strain in her voice.

“I think you should.”

“Don’t start that. I love you.”

“I love you, Mommy.”

“Sleep tight and I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Promise?”

“I’ll do my best.”

You give her one more kiss and she kisses your cheek softly before letting go of you. You make your way back into your favorite spot on the sofa. You cuddle up close to Andy as he presses play on the remote and resumes the movie. You wait until you hear her soft snores before you settle in closer next to him.

“I’m sorry,” he says softly as he wraps his arms around you.

“Andy, now isn’t-”

“We don’t have to talk about it, I just want you to know...I am sorry. I didn’t mean or want to make you upset, and I never meant to make your life more complicated. I just...I’m sorry.”

“Did you mean it?” you ask softly, terrified of hearing him say ‘no’.

“I don’t know,” he sighs, making no attempt to hide the pain in his voice. “I want to. I truly want to, because at this point, I’m convinced you’re the only one for me, but...I’m still damaged goods, Y/N. I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing with you, but I know I’m happy. I’m so damn happy when I’m with you, and it just...I went too far and I know that. I’m sorry,” he sighs, pulling you closer and placing a soft kiss into your hair.

You’re thoughtful before you speak. “Don’t say it again. Don’t say it unless you mean it, because I can’t handle something else breaking my heart. I can’t handle you breaking my heart.”

“Do you love me?”

“That’s not fair and you know it. I didn’t say it, you did.”

“I know, but we both need to know how deep we’re both in this. That’s only fair.”

“Some days I think I do and other days...”

“Other days...?”

“I really fucking hate you, Andy. I hate you for complicating things, I hate you for choosing me. I hate you because my friendship with Mary is destroyed, I hate you for still being married, even if it is only temporary...I fucking hate you the most for making me care so much. When we started this, it was so simple, but we both wanted more and neither of us were smart enough to walk away.”

“You were.”

“I was smart enough to suggest it, but I never actually did. That’s why you’re here now. We’re here now.”

“I won’t say it again, Sweetheart. I won’t say it unless I’m ready to commit. I promise,” he says sweetly before checking his watch. “I need to get going.”

“Stay...unless you have something you need to do or someone you need to see.”

“I’m as free as a bird, Baby.”

“Then stay. She likes you, a lot, so stay. She’ll be happy to see you in the morning.”

“Anything to see you both happy,” he encourages before placing another kiss into your hair.

You both lay down and he pulls close, taking in your scent and warmth, while you just take in the comfort of him being there. Him holding you, kissing you every few seconds, and cuddling you close are some of your favorite things.

It’s heaven.

In no time at all, you both are drifting off to sleep to the infamous ‘A Very Merry Unbirthday’ scene.

You’re not sure how long you’re asleep before Andy gently wakes you. The tone in his voice has your heart breaking instantly.

“Baby...she’s-”

“Don’t. Don’t fucking say it, please,” you sob, unable to look at your Mother in her hospice bed. “She’s not, Andy. She’s just sleeping hard.”

“Sweetheart, I’m so sorry,” he says solemnly wrapping you in a hug.

“You can’t be sure-”

“I checked, baby. She’s gone.”

You’re unable to do anything except cry, so Andy takes it upon himself to call everyone who needs to be called. When they come to take your Mother away, you’re even worse off.

“It’s gonna be okay, Sweetheart. I’m here,” Andy coos gently as strokes your back.

As the days go by, they all seem to blur. You pay attention to nothing and you care about almost nothing. For the most part, you’re just numb, going through the motions. Andy is with you for as much as he can be, and when he can’t, he won’t leave your side until Allison or Lindsey show up. You hear the arguments with Laurie and you truly feel bad because you know you’re the reason for them. However, you can’t bring yourself to tell him he doesn’t need to stay. You won’t bring yourself to that point.

When it’s late, and you allow yourself to be honest with only yourself, you know that Andy is the only reason you haven’t gone completely off the rails. It’s not lost on you that you really do love the man, but it’s also not lost on you that life is a bitch.

By the time the funeral comes, you’re not even sure what day it is.

“You gotta get up, Sweetheart,” Andy tells you as he leans against the door frame to your room.

“What time is it?”

“7am.”

“I can stay in bed a little longer,” you mumble, turning over as he sighs.

“Baby, after this-”

“After this, I have to deal with her not being in my life anymore.”

“She’s always here, just not physically. As long as you keep her in your heart and mind, she’s always with you,” he tells you softly as he lays down next to you.

“I don’t want to go, Andy.”

“I know you don’t, Baby, but you know it would make her happy.”

“I just want her back. I tried so hard and worked so hard...” you trail off as you start to sob,

“I know, Sweetheart. I know. We just gotta get through today and we’ll figure the rest out.”

“You have to get home.”

“I’m here for as long as you need me.”

“I hear the arguments, Andy. I know she’s furious and I know-”

“She’s furious because she’s coming to terms with the reality that she’s set. That has nothing to do with me and she’ll figure it out on her own.”

“Andy-”

“With the exception of Jacob’s graduation, I’m here for as much and as often as you want me.”

“You don’t have to worry about me, I’m putting this place on the market.”

“And where are you gonna go?”

“I don’t know. A fucking box on the corner.”

“You’re insane if you think I’m gonna let you be homeless.”

“I just don’t care. I don’t care about anything.”

“Let me take care of you, Sweetheart. It’ll be your place, your name will be on the papers and everything. I’ll just pay for it until you’re on your feet and we’ll go from there.”

“Andy-”

“It’ll be your place, Sweetheart. I just wanna help. I care about you and don’t want to see you struggle, especially after all you’ve been through. So, what do you say?”

In this moment, you’re truly faced with a decision you’re not ready for. Do you follow your heart and trust Andy, or do you keep your guard up and tough it out alone? When you turn over and look at him, his eyes hold all of the promises you’ve been longing for; but it only tugs at your heart because it doesn’t know if you can trust it fully and completely anymore.

Do you choose love or sensibility?

~~

Taglist: @fuckingbye, @maroonsunrise83, @whxre4cevans, @sweetflowerdreams

[oddaodd]

· Wailing Teapots ·

Summary: When Tommy begins suspecting of Y/n's true allegiances he goes and questions her in her apartment only to discover a dark secret. (Angst/Fluff)

Warnings: Implications of abuse. (Nothing too graphic but just in case).

Author's note: I'm back! It feels so good to write again! My life has been a bit hectic lately, but I hope I can continue to make time for my writing because it honestly feels like coming back home after the most exhausting of voyages. Anyhow I hope y'all enjoy this and have the loveliest of days. ❤️

·

Three strong knocks on the door stole Y/n’s attention from the live fire burning in her fireplace. With quiet feet she tiptoed to the door and placed her hand on the doorknob and stood still hoping to hear something that could tell her who it was behind the door, but she could only hear her own heartbeat beating violently in her ribcage as she held her breath.

She slightly hated herself for being afraid, but she couldn’t not be afraid, not with all the letters that had been delivered to her home.

“I know you’re in there Y/n”

As soon as she recognized the voice as Tommy’s, she finally breathed again before partly opening the door a weak smile gracing her features when she took in the sight of him. Before she could ask him what he was doing there he pushed the door open and allowed himself inside.

The smile vanished from her face in an instant and she quickly closed the door. There was something different about him, something that made the hairs on her arms stand up in trepidation. His eyes didn’t look like they had done a few nights prior when he took Y/n to the outskirts of town for a walk. The kind of walk in which one shares the kind of conversations that makes people grow closer together, the kind of walk which ends with a gentle kisses and fleeting touches.

“This is a nice place” he commented taking off his peaky cap, not even sparing Y/n a glance as he began walking slowly through the apartment which though small and plain held a considerable amount of expensive yet tasteful looking knick knacks that brightened up the whole place despite the old furniture that had beed there when Y/n first moved in.

“You couldn’t have waited for a formal invitation, could you?” She asked in a light tone still standing by the door, in the hope that it could change Tommy’s odd aura, but he ignored her question all together

“Almost too nice, wouldn’t you agree?” He asked picking up a vase and examining it before finally turning to look at Y/n.

“Tommy?” She asked, not really knowing why was he acting so strange.

“I know I pay you fair wages” he began, putting the vase down fixing his eyes on the fireplace where small traces of burnt paper rested “but I highly doubt you were able to make yourself of such an array of treasures with what I pay you.”

“All of this came with me from America.” She said feeling like she ought to explain herself and though her answer was an honest one, Tommy didn’t seem convinced, nevertheless, he hummed in mocking understanding before clearing his throat .

“Aren’t you gonna offer me tea?”

“Sure…where are my manners?” she said with a nervous laugh before walking to where her stove was and putting a kettle on.

Tommy followed her closely and drew a chair from her flimsy kitchen table before sitting down and taking notice of her shaky hands as she tied around a bit in the kitchen with her back to him as he sat on her favorite chair.

“Wish you had told me you were coming, I would have..”she began as she opened her pantry to put away some bread.

“You’ve been burning letters” he interrupted, not being able to shake off the image of the paper remains.

Y/n stilled for a moment before closing her pantry, thing which he noticed.

“Yeah, I don’t have the room to keep every single letter I get ” Y/n said, a defensiveness lingering softly in her words.

“I agree” Tommy said in a cold tone “specially when you are getting so many of them. Paul tells me he delivers at least 10 a week here” he continued, referring to the mailman who after being questioned by Tommy forgot all about post confidentiality.

“They are my mother’s” Y/n stuttered out.

The teapot then wailed, making her jump slightly before going to remove it from the stove and finally turning around to go and pour Tommy a cup.

“Right” Tommy said, his eyes not leaving Y/n’s figure as she poured the tea.

“Yeah, she’s ever so passionate about plants, been telling me all a-a-about her new greenhouse.” She continued pressured by Tommy’s heavy stare and silence.

Tommy offered a small cynical smile that Y/n didn’t see, she didn’t want to look at him. She felt like crying for she realized just then how suspicious she looked.

The sound of the chair being drawn again teased at Y/N’s ears, forcing her to look up at Tommy who was calmly walking towards her. She had never been afraid of him, but she couldn’t help but back away as he inched closer to her, her eyes widening.

“Who is Clyde Attenborough?” He asked producing another letter from his pocked like the many ones Y/n had been receiving for a while now. Same stamps and everything.

Color drained from her face at the sight of the letter and she found herself unable to produce an answer as her back came in soft contact with her pantry.

“What does he know? He asked.

“Where I live” Y/n whispered sorrowfully as a tear finally slipped down her cheek. Her eyes being for mercy.

“What have you been telling him?”

“Nothing” she answered truly.

“I bet he pays generously to know how the company works”

“I swear im not working for anyone else” Y/n stuttered, finally understanding why Tommy was so suspicious. Being his secretary, she knew plenty about the skeletons the family kept.

“Then why are you crying?” He pressed.

“Because you’re scaring me.”

Her words seemed to have an effect on Tommy for he immediately backed away, throwing the letter on the table, his back to her.

”I’m not gonna hurt you” he stated, beating himself up for corralling Y/n like that. His voice much less menacing than mere seconds ago. “Who is Clyde Attenborough?”

“I haven’t been honest with you” she finally confessed sniffing. To hell with everything.

At this Tommy turned around to look at her an unpleasant mix of emotions swimming in his eyes.

“Im married” she sobbed “Clyde’s my husband”

For the first time in a long time, Tommy was caught off guard.

“I came to Small Heath because I ran away from him, I figured he’d never find me but..” She said taking the letter in her shaky hands as if the thing were to blow off in any given second “I guess I was wrong. I-I don’t know how he found me”

She shifted her teary gaze from the letter to a shocked Tommy “I swear im not passing information” she chuckled sadly, the knot in her throat choking her a little.

Tommy stood glued in the same spot, not knowing what to do. His world had come crashing down when he began suspecting of Y/n’s alliances after Polly suggested he look into it. A pretty American girl, moving to a grey English town, taking up a job that was exhausting at best. It reminded him a little too much of Grace.

Now that he knew the truth , he didn’t feel any better.

“Is he dangerous?” He found himself asking after a few seconds of silence.

Y/n sniffed as she walked to her fireplace “I wouldn’t have left if he wasn’t” she said as she threw the letter into the crackling flames.

“Is he in Birmingham?”

“He keeps writing that he’ll come get me if I don’t go back, but im not sure” she answered.

Tommy fought the urge to go up to her and take her in his arms and instead put his peaky cap back on before heading for the door.

“I’m sorry” he whispered before stepping out of her place, The guilt of intimidating her in her own house gnawing at his insides and the newfound anger her husband created present on his drive home.

The next day Y/n noticed as she peeped out the window two men, both in peaky caps standing at the entrance of her apartment complex.

Three more days passed and Y/n was again surprised tby the sound of three knocks on her door as she read one evening.

“Its me, Y/N” Tommy’s voice flowed through the door shortly after the knocks.

Y/n quickly got off her couch and made her way to open the door. Her eyes falling on Tommy’s apologetic features.

“It’s dealt with” he said in all seriousness. The thick accent she loved so much vibrating through her ears.

As soon as she registered what Tommy had just said she let out a strained breath, her lips turned into a tired smile and a lone tear slipped out her misty eyes.

“Wanna come in?” She asked after a few seconds, feeling happier than she had felt for days.

“Is this a formal invitation?” He asked, a soft smile tugging at his lips, relieved that his antics from a few days prior hadn’t maimed Y/n´s trust.

At his question she just smiled, looking at him lovingly before taking hold of his hand and pulling him into her apartment before pressing her lips to his in a soft yer passionate manner. Without breaking the kiss, Tommy then closed the door.

·

@captivatedbycillianmurphy @peakyxtommy @nyotamalfoy @writeroutoftime @babylooneytoonz @lilymurphy03 @slytherinicequeen

[ivyuns]

what do i call you? - jake (i)

genre: angst | fluff

word count: 1.6k

warnings: f boy jake, gaslighting, mean toxic ex! jake, cheating, mentions of sunghoon, drinking, almost being hospitalized, skipping meals, chosing your lover over your friends type, lowkey suggestive!, heartbreaks, lmk what i missed!

inspo by: what do i call you by taeyeon and f.u by little mix 

synopsis: a walking red flag right in front of you, but you were too blinded by love to notice him

note: naur me and my friend were just chatting and then she goes like sending a kanye west song saying this reminds of her if jake was a toxic ex and he would listen to this after he gaslighted u and yeah just made me think fr! the alt. ending will be saur much better i promise ill get it posted asap

alt. ending 

your lover you once knew is now a stranger to you. all the memories faded.

"don't date him" "you're gonna regret talking to him" "he's a red flag y/n" god how were you so stupid to not listen to them.

you snuck into one of jakes frat parties, after he told you he couldn't hang out and did a rain check on your date. you felt unsteady.

your friend, sunghoon, had texted you. asking if you had a date with jake today. 'he canceled on me today :(' you replied. next thing you saw was a photo of a girl on jakes lap.

you got up and got dressed up to visit one of the fraternities house on campus, thoughts running in your head. you felt dizzy, you' wanted to throw up

and he was right. the girl was still on him, attaching her lips to his neck.

the day after, jake came over to your house first thing in the morning. you wanted to stay in bed and thought about all the feedback you received after you told your friends about you and jake as a newly couple.

you placed your arms above your eyes, a few tears running down. you felt your bed dip on the empty spot next to you. "you okay?" he asked. you wanted to say no. and tell him what you saw last night, but you didn't want him to know. "yes" you replied.

your head hurted like crazy, rhe sudden rush of tears ran through and you sobbed into jakes chest. he held you close, patting your head. as if no other girl was on him less than 12 hours ago.

jake had been avoiding you for the past weeks now. always refusing to see you, refusing to do anything, yet he always lies awake with a different girl with him in bed.

sunghoon had monitored the blonde guy ever since he saw him cheating the first place, yet he still doesn't know why you're still with him.

you were left home alone, crying at the fact that you're now doing this. you're finally breaking up with him.

jake had woken up at an unreasonable hour, having the sudden feeling to text you. before he could press on your contact, his screen was indicating that you were calling.

"hi y/n!-"

"come over"

he quickly got dressed and left his house, happy to see you. but when he knocked on your door and opened it, he saw your head buried in your knees. "y/n-" you looked up at him. eyes red and puffy.

his eyes softened and walked up to you, but you stopped him. "let's break up." you said bitterly. tsk. jake thought. "baby, you cant get rid of me that easily" he smirked. he walked up to you and almost placed his lips on your neck but you harshly pushed him away.

"yo!" he shouted. "i said let's break up!" you screamed at him. "i saw you, sunghoon saw you, cheating on me. 3 times now." at this point, jake was mad angry. "so you're talking to other boys behind my back now?" he bent down to your level. "i didn't say you were allowed to talk to boys, did i baby?"

you smacked him across the face, tired of whoever this person is in front of you. "s-shut the fuck up. you cant control me." physical touch and words he didn't like? oh he saw red.

"stop being so fucking insecure. you probably slept with sunghoon didn't you? that's why you're accusing me of cheating." he walked your way, backing you up against the wall. "you whore, always thinking you can get passed me" he lifted your face up, staring straight to his eyes.

"i cant believe i dated someone like you. accusing me of cheating when you're sleeping with some other boys. i think you're the cheater here. we're breaking up." he grabbed his belongings, whispering insults to you.

tears fell as he blamed you for everything, shutting the door closed shut. you felt sick, fell to your knees and wish you saw this sooner.

as the days passed, you thought you would've handled the breakup well. but you realized you didn't have anyone to talk to anymore. all your friends left you after you chose jake over them, and you would usually tell jake your problems. you and sunghoon aren't that close so you had nobody.

you wanted to feel so free now that he was gone. so you got up and got dressed, did your makeup and went to the bar across the street from you.

you ignored all the guys asking you questions and sitting next to you. it didnt feel right, now that jake was no longer yours. he can go fuck someone else now. but you had let him go to find happiness for yourself.

but also after he called you names.

it was now 4 am and you were drowned by the alcohol you've consumed. you fell asleep on the counter, not moving after the barista had poked you many times.

you felt your body being pulled, holding you bridal style. half asleep, half awake but mostly asleep, you subconsciously wrapped your arms around them. "i missed you jake"

as your body hit your soft bed, sunghoon felt sad for you. your room was a mess, he had his sister help your drunk sleepy self take off your makeup and got you in more comfortable clothes. he couldn't help but let a few tears fall as he realized you've lost so much weight during this road to recovery. dark eye bags, and puffiness. he left you a glass of water next to your nightstand before he left you alone in your room.

as the morning came upon, you woke up wincing. the headache banging through your skull. "agh" you quickly screamed.

but you suddenly remembered jake. you opened your eyes and looked everywhere for him, but he was nowhere found in your room. you went to the main area and screamed when you saw sunghoon sleeping on your couch.

"sunghoon!" you screamed. he tumbled down your small couch. he got up and saw your distressed self. "what are you doing here?" you asked him. "what were you doing at the bar at 4 am?" you stayed silent. so jake didn't actually pick you up? you quietly went back to your bedroom.

sunghoon followed you, "hey! what's wrong?" he asked you. you couldn't help but cry. how could you miss somebody who had cheated on you more than two times and called you names. "you miss him, don't you?" you nodded. sunghoon sighed. how was he going to tell you jake missed you too?

you haven't showed up to campus in a hot while, making your old friends worried, especially jake. when he left, he realized his mistake. he knew he was wrong for cheating on you and being caught in 4k. he was wrong for calling you names. wrong for calling out your insecurities.

he went home and saw the picture of you two on your first date on the floor, glass broken. ah, he forgot about that. he accidentally bumped into the frame while he was busy making out with the girl he brought home.

jake bent down and picked up the picture, some glass piercing into his skin. and that's when he broke down. he saw how genuinely happy you were.

he hasn't had any parties in a while, he didn't bring girls home. but he didn't want to show that he was broken from this break up. after all, he did ask for it.

he acted tough during school, but when he got inside the comfort of his home, he fell to his knees. memories of you everywhere.

your friends knew something was wrong when they saw jakes cold face walking into the classroom without you for days. they tried contacting you but you probably deleted their numbers after what happened.

"jake, where's your girlfriend?" they went up to him. he rolled his eyes. "her name is y/n. and do not refer her as my girlfriend again."

but, jake couldn't keep it anymore. he heard from others that sunghoon had been helping you since then. "that should be me." he thought.

he knew he was toxic and possessive to you. but he couldn't control it. he wanted you for him only. he doesn't know what made him switch up when he had brought girls home, knowing damn well you were still his.

since that day, he thought you were doing fine. but he's been hearing rumors saying you were at the risk of getting hospitalized for drinking too much and losing your little cute baby cheeks he loved to squish all the time. this is all his fault.

you laid in bed, unmotivated for anything once again. sunghoon had brought in soup and snacks every once in awhile, only to find out you haven't ate anything. you felt bad, appreciating his gesture. but you didn't want to do anything at all.

this time, sunghoon had brought a stop to this unending sadness. he called jake, telling him to hurry up to your house. he told him every detail about you.

jake had entered your house and gave a little wave to sunghoon and he silently walked into your room. oh how he wanted to cry from the moment he walked in.

your untouched food on your desk and your little figure hiding underneath the blankets, just a few hair stands sticking out. it looked like you were barely breathing.

he carefully picked up your blanket and slid under it, hugging your cold figure. he saw red stains on your cheeks and your puffy under eyes. your almost boney cheeks. he pulled you closer, planting a kiss on your head.

"jake?" you whispered, no energy to speak up. he looked down to where your face is, "yes baby, i'm right here" he nodded, wiping your tears that threaten to fall. "im here my love."

end.

(2022) © dont repost or copy | @ivyuns

[quindolyn]

Hiiii i heard a headcannon that james potter would love shower sex and i was wondering wether you could write something like that? No specific’s do whatever you want with it just sex in the shower ;)

 You in Here? || James Potter

Word Count: 2268

A/N: I hate this perhaps more than anything I’ve ever written but I need to write if only to remind myself that I still can because sidofhdfwqifbr. I feel like I haven’t been productive in weeks and posting is gonna hopefully help me with that. I’ve hated other things I’ve posted as well and y’all seemed to react positively to those so who the hell knows.

Warnings: Degradation, daddy kink, kinda proof read, little bit of exhibitionism 

Masterlist

“Jamie,” You called out, your voice echoing as it bounced back off the tiled walls of the Quidditch showers. 

You hadn’t been able to grab James after the Quidditch game, where he’d led him and his team to victory, before he had headed off towards the locker room, being stopped by Dobson who was subbing in as keeper for the game. The team’s usual keeper in the hospital wing with a bad case of blood poisoning he’d contracted from an unfortunate Care of Magical Creatures lesson. 

You’d never really given much thought to the boy as he was a year below you and you didn’t much run in the same circles but neither of those facts seemed to discourage him as he pulled you aside after the game.

His desperate and frankly pathetic attempts to flirt with you, the team captain’s girlfriend, had stalled you too long apparently as by the time you’d managed to break free of his bad pickup lines and clumsy winks James was nowhere in sight and Sirius had to direct you towards the showers where he’d seen him disappear into. 

And now stumbling around the locker room looking for your boyfriend you followed the sound of running water to the back corner of the showers.

“There you are,” You murmured as his dripping form came into view. Blocked by a sheet of warped glass all you could make out of his figure was the outline of his strong physique as he twisted and turned to let the water wash over his ridiculously toned body.

“James?” Your voice lilted up in a question as you wrapped your knuckles against the glass of the door.

“(Y/N/N)? What are you doing in here?” He asked, his voice rough which you assumed was from screaming over the roaring wind to communicate with his teammates. 

What you hadn’t noticed before escaping James’ subordinate was the aforementioned boy lurking a few feet away, jaw clenched, the vein in his forehead pulsing as he glared down the boy who seemed to have abandoned all of his inhibitions.

Though you had missed him, James most certainly hadn’t missed you and heading off to the showers he’d hoped that a hot shower would soothe the possessiveness bubbling up in his stomach but it had not had the desired effect. 

“Came looking for you Jamesie,” You explained, “Wanted to congratulate you,” A sly smirk tugged at the corners of your lips, painted a brilliant red as you began shedding the numerous layers of clothing you’d been bundled up in to shield yourself from the biting wind.

“Why don’t you congratulate that Dobson kid?” The edge to James’ voice was impossible to miss.

You frowned as you reached around your now nearly bare torso, having made quick work of your top layers, to unclasp your bra, shrugging it off of your shoulders to let it fall to the ground. Left in only your panties you spared a glance over your shoulder before abandoning those as well and opening the door to the shower.

Even after all this time you still had to stop your jaw from dropping whenever you saw James’ body, the defined muscles of his abs, the way they shifted in his back as he reached for things and just went about with his daily business.

His legs. Those fucking legs.

And don’t even get you started on his arms because you could go on and on for hours about them, about every part of him quite frankly.

You stood dumbstruck outside the shower cubicle before James pulled you in by your arm before someone walked in and saw you naked. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” The boy growled, towering over you as he wrapped an arm around your waist, keeping you tucked into his strong chest. You could feel his half hard cock pressing against your stomach as one hand drifted to your ass, squeezing it to the point of pain before releasing and smacking the afflicted area with the palm of his hand. The burning hot water didn’t help either with the pain as it washed over your backside, amplifying the sting from your boyfriend’s harsh touch.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” You asked incredulously, having no clue what he was talking about. “That hurt.”

“Good,” He responded curtly, returning his tight hold on the supple flesh of your bottom, squeezing even more harshly than before, no doubt leaving bruises in the shape of his fingers. 

“S’ what you deserve after teasing me like that with that fucking prat, and then right now, standing naked in the middle of the locker room, anyone could’ve walked in at any point and seen your arse.”

“No one was gonna just-”

You were cut off by his fingers meeting the side of your face more harshly than you anticipated.

“Ow,” You squeaked, “Was that necessary?”

Growing more and more frustrated James pushed his index and middle finger past your slightly parted lips, shoving his long fingers further and further until the tips of his rough, calloused digits bumped the back of your throat and had you struggling to breathe as he triggered your gag reflex.

“Shut your fucking mouth,” He grumbled, catching your wrist with his hand before you were able to grab at the wrist of the hand gagging you, “First flirting with that little prick and now talking back to me, who the fuck do you think you are?”

Your response was garbled as you tried to speak around his fingers, but no matter what you were trying to say it was muffled even more as he pushed his fingers even further down your throat. 

A sick smile grazed his face as you gagged violently, tears slipping from your tear ducts and rolling down your face in twin rivers, collecting in pools at the curve of your jaw.

“Oh don’t cry baby,” He cooed mockingly, pulling his fingers from your mouth, allowing you to take deep gulps of air as he moved his hands to cup your jaw, his thumbs wiping away your tears.

One hand trailed from your face, down your torso, pausing at your tit to take the nipple between his fingers, pinching harshly and pulling a strangled gasp from your lips as the action sent pleasure mixed with a healthy amount of pain zipping up your spine. 

Eventually finding his way to your pussy James ran his index finger through your sopping folds, smiling cavalierly at the pool of slick he found there.

“Fucking pathetic,” He muttered, staring at his finger as it teased your cunt, “You got off on that?” He asked, lifting his visage to meet yours, “You got off on Daddy fucking choking you with his fingers?”

After a beat of held eye contact, you realized that it wasn’t a rhetorical question and that the man in front of you expected an answer. 

“Yes, Daddy.” 

Satisfied with your response James’ gaze dropped back to your pussy where he was now lifting up your clitoral hood, exposing your sensitive bundle of nerves to his touch.

“What was that you said about congratulating me slut?” He asked, harshly pinching your clit between his thumb and forefinger, smirking as you whimpered and brought your hand up to clasp his bicep, supporting yourself as you felt your knees weakening. 

The pleasure he could bring you from just his fingers was enough to have you in a puddle by his feet, clawing at his ankles and begging for more.

“Think as a reward I’d like to mark you up, show everyone how much of a desperate whore my baby is. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

“Yes Daddy, wanna be your slut.”

“My whore,” He corrected.

“Your whore.”

At your agreement James latched his lips onto the side of your neck, sucking vicious hues of purple and blue into the delicate skin that resided there.

“Fuck,” You swore, tipping your head back so that he could have even better access to your skin.

A pathetic whine slipped from your trembling lips as James pulled away from your neck, instead attaching them to yours, delicately brushing his against your own. As you tried to lean forward, wanting to deepen the kiss you felt James’ hand bury itself in your damp hair, gripping tightly at the root, using his hold to keep your head in place as he pulled back.

“No swearing pretty girl,” He murmured as his lips brushed yours ever so lightly against yours, “Pretty babies don’t swear, yeah?” 

He peppered kisses across your lips as you nodded your agreement, tickling your skin before finally deepening the kiss as you so desperately wanted. You savored the taste of his lips as his tongue delved into your mouth, exploring the warm expanse before mingling his tongue with yours. 

You were no match for his aggression as he dominated your tongue pulling a moan from the depths of your belly where you felt a know tightening as the slick between your legs continued to collect in a pool of your own arousal.

“Gonna show you how good I can make you feel,” James promised, crouching to loop his arms underneath your thighs, guiding your legs to wrap around his waist, and moving to support your bum as he backed you into the wall, using that to help support your weight. 

“Gonna show you how good I can make you feel when you’re mine.”

“Please Daddy,” You begged, pleading eyes looking up at him as you pushed your bottom lip out in a pathetic display of your submission, “Want your cock please.”

It was funny really, how quickly you went from feisty to his submissive slut. And you didn’t even have his cock yet.

Your begging spurring James on, he didn’t bother restraining himself any longer and instead pushed his cock into your warm, pulsing pussy.

A cry tore its way through your throat as he didn’t even bother to ease his way in, not wanting to wait another second, just wanting to be inside of you.

“Shh,” He hissed, clasping a strong hand over your mouth, hanging wide open as you barely had control over yourself to keep your eyes open, much less make the conscious effort to keep your mouth closed in order to keep in the moans and whimpers that shamelessly tumbled from your agape mouth.

James’ pace was relentless as he thrusted in and out of you, watching as his cock appeared then disappeared as he moved in and out of your cunt, your pussy squeezing him to an almost painful degree.

“So fucking pretty,” He swore, palming your tits with his strong hands, leaving your nipples hard as he pinched them again, just as he did earlier, watching the look on your face as he twisted them to the point of pain. 

You snapped your mouth shut so that you wouldn’t let out a curse, not wanting to disobey Jamie. 

“Mine, all mine,” Jamie grumbled as he let go of your boobs, preferring to watch them bounce as he sped up his thrusts, the spongy tip of his cock brushing against your g-spot, pulling a strangled sigh from you as you lost more and more of yourself in pleasure.

“All yours Daddy,” You agreed, leaning your head up against the cold tile of the shower wall as you focused on the pleasure James was bringing you with every deep thrust. 

“That’s right slut,” James said, remembering his earlier frustration, “If s’all mine, all f’me then what the hell are you doing talking to that little dick?”

His hard gaze met yours and though they were swimming with lust it did nothing to dilute the seriousness they held, making it clear to you that he expected an answer.

“Didn’t mean to Daddy, didn’t mean to be naughty,” You explained, hoping that he would realize that you really had had no mal intent in speaking with the boy, you just hadn’t wanted to be rude.

Seemingly paying your response no mind James attached his lips to your collar bone, laving his tongue over it before retracing his steps and sucking marks that matched the ones he’d previously left on your neck. 

As he worked to paint your skin in rich hues he lifted your hips so that he could reach even further depths inside of you, sheathing himself completely inside of you before pulling back out, all while moving his fingers to your clit, where they had once previously resided. 

The combined stimulation of him so deep inside of you and his strong fingers on your clit had the knot in your belly tightening as the stimulation on your clit sent tendrils of pleasure shooting up your back.

It was all too much, the overwhelming stimulation from his cock combined with his fingers pinching and rolling your sensitive bundle of nerves between the pads of his fingers, and the steady streams of scalding water warming your skin almost had you forgetting to ask to cum as you felt the pleasure boiling up in the depths of your tummy. 

“D-Daddy may I-”

You were cut off by the sound of the locker room door slamming open quickly followed by the rumbling of voices.

“Potter!” One of them called out, “You in here?”

Recognizing the voice as that belonging to none other than the very boy who had landed you in your small predicament you studied James’ face, with wide piteous eyes as the sound of footsteps slapping against the tile floor approached your little enclave.

James smiled deviously at you before responding, “Yeah, we’re back here.”

tagging:@randomoutsiders @weasleyposts @amourtentiaa @kittykylax @superbturtlemakerathlete @oliviashea05 @pinkandblueblurbs @st0nesnglitter @thatvenusbabe @itsmentalillness @zzzfour @greenlyblue @emmaev @temporaryissue @gubleryum @msmb r @miraclesoflove @velmasteas @drachoesimp @ashlovesthemarauders

[lesbolieeh]

Their kinks (m)

Sub!LOONA/yyxy (Yves, Chuu Go Won, Olivia Hye) ✦ Dom!Fem!Reader

WARNING—smut ✦ mentions of multiple kinks & sexual activities ✦ dom/sub dynamics

NOW PLAYING—Stylish ✦ LOOΠΔ

A/N. i do not recommend this for vanilla orbits :) i was originally gonna post smth from my wips but after loona came back w/ paint the town i couldn’t help but start writing this shit in literally one day!!! in conclusion: i love loona and i love writing this type of content<3

and dw i will eventually post this abt the other sub-units as well🤟

M.LISTS—loona ✦ latest updates

All rights reserved © lesbolieeh

하수영 / yves

✦ Face sitting (receiving)

She just loves to please her partner. I think she’d especially enjoy having her girlfriend sit on her face in a dominant manner, like telling her to shut up or she’ll sit on her face (best believe she’d not shut up). There’s just something about her girlfriend taking charge, ordering her around or just being a little rough that turns her on oh so much. She doesn’t even have to cum at all because she already feels pleasure from the weight of you on her head and the sweet taste of your lower lips (which can make you feel a little guilty sometimes but she always reassures you she doesn’t need more than eating your pussy). She’s the type of gal to grab your thighs (if you allow her) and moan if you choke her with them.

“If you keep teasing I will sit on your face and I will be the only one cumming tonight, you understand?” She had been touching your thigh under the table in public, slowly getting closer to your pussy so you had to remind the brat you were the dom.

“Yes,” she pushed her hand higher on your inner thigh, smirking.

Safe to say you kept your promise and she fell asleep with a smile.

✦ Thigh kink

Like mentioned above, when you sit on her face, she grabs your thighs (assuming her hands aren’t restricted) and loves when you choke her with them as she’s lapping up your pussy. Oh but that’s not the only time she touches your thighs! If you’re fucking her with your strap or your fingers etc. her hands are on your thighs (again, if possible). It’s just so sexy and she feels as if she is holding on to the meat on your thighs she has at least a little bit of control. She loves touching your thighs in general too, whether you’re sitting on the dorm couch with her members, watching a movie at the cinema or just driving somewhere. It’s a reflex for her hand to simply rest on your thigh, squeeze it and maybe move higher.

✦ Spitting (receiving)

Ok, so I definitely think she’s the most experienced and thus most open to kinks that are considered ‘bold’ or ‘kinky’ to the majority. She’s a masochist and, as the relationship progresses, she’ll want to explore more in terms of sexuality and especially in the S&M department. Spitting would be something she’d be shocked at when she first came across it online but after months of thinking of it, she’ll start imagining you spitting in her mouth. I think she’d prefer it if you took the step and to introduce spitting but if she were feeling impatient I could see her jokingly saying you should spit in her mouth way too many times for you not to notice (so you finally do it).

... ✦ ...✦✦✦

김지우 / chuu

✦ Praise (receiving)

Y’all have seen the videos of her asking people to compliment her and pat her head for doing a good job? :c Yeah, she is soft and needs a gentle dom who appreciates her and her efforts. She likes being praised by you both sexually and not. It’s an important factor and if you don’t praise her during sex she’ll feel insecure and question if she’s attractive or if she’s the only one feeling good. Honestly, she could cry over it since her relationship is important to her and she hates the thought of being a bad girlfriend to the woman she loves the most in her life. You’ll have to reassure her that you love her, that she isn’t undeserving of your love and you have to promise to never stop praising your baby! Moving on, praising alone can make her so wet even if the intention of your compliment was completely non-sexual, like if you praise her for working good she can get red in the face and wet between her legs. At home, before you know it she’s on your lap, whining and dry humping you for turning her on in public.

“Did I do a good job?” she asked, flirting with her eyes.

“Of course, Baby,” you giggled at her cuteness, making her smile hard.

She put her head in your shoulder, whining, “Can we go? Please? I’m bored of this place.”

“Sure, let’s go,” you said, not realizing your girlfriend’s intentions with her seemingly innocent words.

✦ Overstimulation (receiving)

Who else wants to make her cum at least three times?? I don’t think she has a high sex drive but those days you two actually fuck you give it your all and it last for hours. The thing about overstimulation is that it’s a plethora of pleasure that is equivalent to some pain (she can handle). It’s the kinkiest shit she’ll do. She lets you continue fucking her after she’s cummed, whimpering and crying about how much it hurts and feels good at the same time, half of the time not making sense. The highest you can overstimulate her is make her cum five consecutive times before she says her safeword and you go for aftercare and cuddles.

✦ Dacryphilia

I think she’s the most likely to cry during sex out of all the members. She doesn’t care. She will express her feelings to the fullest, she’s not the type of woman to hold back because she feels belittled or embarrassed of her self-expression. Praise her through it. This doesn’t happen every time you fuck though, you have to make her cum really good if you want tears to roll down her cheeks as she moans like an angel.

✦... ✦ ...✦✦

박채원 / go won

✦ Vibrators

I wanna tease her with a vibrator wand so bad. Like on the lowest vibration mode setting, making her beg for more stimulation and then, after at least a quarter, turn it on the highest setting to have her scream as she cums :( Anyway, she been considering purchasing sex toys for masturbation since before your relationship, however, she never bought any because it made her feel a little embarrassed of how ‘kinky’ she is. So, when you showed her your collection after you’d fucked a few times, she blushed, acting shy although she was, in fact, overjoyed. She likes all types of toys; strap on’s (you wear them), nipple clamps, satisfyer’s, dildos, blindfolds, hand cuffs etc. But her absolute favorite type of toy is the vibrator; bullet, g-spot, wand, bunny, eggs, remote controlled, finger vibrators — as long as it’s a vibrator, she loves it! What’s so special about vibrators is that they have different vibration levels and different vibration pattern modes and you can use them both to tease her or to make her orgasm. She also really likes how cute they look — it almost makes her feel holy — especially when they pastel colored or if they are those bunny vibrators that have a bunny shaped clit stimulator :(

✦ Begging

Her voice is so beautiful when she sings and when she speaks and she knows it. Begging is sexy both because gets turned on by how sexy her voice turns when she’s in the mood and by how humiliating it is. She likes it, though. It’s a ‘classy’ type of self-humiliation. She usually does it when you tell her to beg for you if she wants pleasure but sometimes when she’s really horny, and doesn’t want to explicitly say it, she’ll beg for anything really and look intently in your eyes as if to communicate to you she wants you to make love to her.

“Please, I want it on me,” she said, avoiding the words ‘toy’ and ‘touch’ as to not make her feel more embarrassed.

“You know what to do, my Princess.”

She knew exactly what you were talking about and she blushed a little, “Please, please, Mommy. Please. Princess has been so good today, please.”

✦ Princess kink

She loves being called princess because it makes her blush and get all warm inside. It’s both a nickname/title and a praise at the same time. She doesn’t respond to you if you call her Chaewon or Gowon when you two are alone. If you have the audacity to call her anything but Princess when you’re in front of the members she will make you regret it by giving you the most torturous silent treatment of your life. Anyway, onto the good stuff, the name ‘Princess’ doesn’t have to be sexual, she just loves it, like when you’re cuddling, holding hands, talking about your days etc. To conclude, only call her Princess and you’re both happy :)

✦✦... ✦ ...✦

손혜주 / olivia hye

✦ Brat taming

She’s such a brat oh my. And she’s the type of sub to need to be broken down into submission (you have safe words and/or use colors to signal if anyone wants to stop). At first she misbehaves and tries to get on your nerves as much as possible, from whispering dirty things in your ear to masturbating next to you on bed. When you finally decide to be rough and punish her, she’s a whimpering mess promising to be good but not meaning it because she fucking loves it when her girlfriend dominates her. Her favorite type of punishments are those involving physical pain — she’s more maso than she’d like to admit — like spanking or using nipple clamps. However, she isn’t verbal about her love for pain because she feels a bit embarrassed about it but the way she keeps acting naughty even after promising she won’t, the way she bites her lip to stop her moans from exposing her massive kink, the way you can feel her wetness drip on your thigh after the last spank…you know she loves it. I don’t think she’d like name-calling, however, because that’d make her feel bad about herself, make her feel ugly even. Never call her any bad names, or nice names like ‘Babygirl’ or ‘Princess’ because in a way it can make her feel like you look down on her.

✦ Choking (receiving)

It’s about trust. I don’t think she’d be comfortable with her girlfriend choking her unless she was in love and had been so for a while. When she’s letting you choke her, she’s literally giving you her life in your hand(s) because she trusts you won’t hurt her or take advantage of her trust. It’s so much more intimate than many like to paint it, and she’s more sentimental and vulnerable than she likes to come across. I think she wouldn’t like it if you took initiative and choked her because she would misread it as you looking down on her and thinking she’s your bitch that you can do anything you want to. Instead, she’d want to be the one to grab your hand and put it on her throat, looking in your eyes to see that you don’t look down on her but actually love her.

✦ Threesome (FFF)

She’s very competitive and I think if she was feeling really bold one day, she’d go as far as suggest inviting another woman to your bed to show you nobody can pleasure you as much as she can. I definitely don’t think it’d be the type of threesome in which every party is touching each other. No, instead she and the other woman would be the ones touching you, fighting over who would make you cum first. She’d get really fucking jealous if you praised the other woman, but that’d only serve as fuel in pleasing you. Safe to say Hyejoo would win.

You looked at the two women in front of you, your girlfriend with a scowl on her face when you looked at the other woman for more than three seconds. When you gave them the sign, they began touching you.

Hyejoo went to put her lips on your pussy, looking up at you to see your reactions. “Good girl,” you said and petted her hair.

The other woman started sucking your tits with skill, “Fuck, you’re good,” you moaned and tangled your fingers in her hair.

Your girlfriend’s eyes darkened. Her lips left your lower ones and went up to your upper ones, kissing you and silencing you from praising the other bitch. She replaced them with fingers and soon your legs were shaking with pleasure, a revengeful smile on your girlfriend’s face.

✦✦✦... ✦ ...

❝ Hey 반짝이는 You’re my style (My style)

투명하게 Make you mine, mine

(투명하게 Make you mine)

Hey 넌 나만 아는 Jewelry shop (Oh)

내게 어울리는 Style, style

You’re so stylish 모으고파 Mileage (Whoa whoa)

용기를 내 Make you mine, mine

(Make you mine, hey yeah)

You’re so stylish 너로 꾸며 Buy list

내게 어울리는 Style, style

(I really like your style) ❞

—

( Hey, you’re shining, you’re my style

Clearly, I’ll make you mine, mine

(Clearly, I’ll make you mine)

Hey, you’re the jewellery shop only I know of

You’re my style, style

You’re so stylish, the rising mileage

I have the courage to make you mine, mine

(Make you mine, hey yeah)

You’re so stylish, I dream of you on my buy list

You’re my style, style

(I really like your style) )

—jeon heejin; cho haseul; wong kahei; kim jiwoo; park chaewon; jung jinsol; ha sooyoung; kim jungeun; 2018

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Knight in Shining Red Armor | Dante + Child!Reader (DMC 4)

A/N: Hey so this is a rewrite of one of my first (and only) DMC fic from like...2016. This takes place post-DMC 4

You can read the og one on my DeviantArt! But if you're here for the new one then I hope ya'll enjoy!

Summary: Child!Reader was taken under Dante's wing after being saved from a demon invasion, but even years later he hesitates to tell them what he truly is, fearing they'll resent him for his demonic heritage.

............

"Hey, um..Dante?"

"What's up, kiddo?" The red-clad devil hunter asked, though he wasn't completely paying attention to you. Rather he was sitting at his desk, feet kicked up as he was flipping through a magazine.

Meanwhile you were roaming around the shop, stopping only to gaze at the massive curved sword with glowing gems hanging on the wall behind him. He mentioned claiming many weapons--"Devil Arms" as they were called--from defeated demons, but you were curious about their names.

"Just wondering..what's that sword behind you called?"

"The Sparda. It sealed the barrier between the Underworld and human world. Nero went through hell and back, quite literally, to return it to me, so don't even think about touching......it?"

Dante put the magazine down as he turned to see you holding the Sparda in your small hands. You smiled triumphantly, but stumbled a bit before the blade accidentally slammed into the wooden floor, making you wince.

"Oops."

Yet your little act amused him, as he chuckled and shook his head. "You're a little too young to go devil-hunting, I'm afraid. But maybe one day you will."

"And maybe you can help pay off Dante's debt, too." Trish lightly joked as she entered the room, taking the giant sword from you and putting it back on the wall.

Her words were responded by a groan from the male, who went back to reading.

"Whatcha reading?"

Dante slowly lowered the magazine to see you sitting on his desk, but he just snapped it shut and tossed it into the trash, out of your line of sight. "Nothing that eyes like yours gotta see."

"Okay....ooooooh, what's this briefcase?" Hopping off the desk, you ran over to Pandora and crouched down to poke the skull emblem.

"Pandora. That baby can turn into six hundred and sixty six different weapons, but...right now we only have access to seven." Now he was feeling like an exhausted teacher on a museum trip, trying to explain each exhibit to his hyper first graders--the exhibits being his Devil Arms.

Yet as you ran around asking him about more of them, he couldn't help but see his childhood-self reflected in you. Just full of energy and never-ending curiosity and optimism.

Yeah..he definitely saw the resemblance.

Eventually you decided to leave him be and dash off to your room.

And only then did Dante drop his smile, sighing as he put both feet back on the ground. He ran a hand through his hair before dragging it down the side of his face tiredly.

"You know..you'll have to tell them eventually." Trish reminded.

"How, though? That kid's afraid of all demons..hybrids or not. I'm pretty sure saying "oh by the way the guy who rescued you is actually half-demon" is gonna send 'em running, and...I can't risk that." He shook his head, gazing at the jukebox in the corner.

"But I think [y/n]'s old enough to comprehend the concept of not all demons being evil," Lady chimed in after overhearing the conversation. "Just give it to them straight and I'm sure they'll understand."

As much as Dante wanted to argue, he saw that she had a valid point. But he still worried...

How would you react?

It's been a few years since he saved you from a Mega Scarecrow, though it turned out that more demons invaded your neighborhood, slaughtering everyone you knew and loved. And as he took you back to the shop to patch you up, he could see the terror in your eyes, any traces of innocence long gone.

No child should have gone through such a tragedy.

A tragedy that he was all-too familiar with.

After the defeat of the Savior, things have been looking up. You've regained your happiness as you lived in Devil May Cry and learned of Dante's tales of devil hunting, though the memories of that horrible night never truly left you alone.

Along with that, just seeing a demon is enough to make you run and hide, and you were terrified when you first met Nero and saw his demonic arm.

From that incident alone, Dante became extremely reluctant to tell you of his own demonic heritage.

He just didn't know if he's only hurting you more by keeping it hidden..

...............

Later that night, you were plagued by yet another nightmare. Different demons, same neighborhood...same deaths of your loved ones.

But in this one Dante got hurt, too. And you tried so hard to be brave for him, even shouting in the demon's face...but in the end you failed as it snatched you away, dragging you into the darkness of the Underworld before he could reach you.

Although you calmed down since awakening, you wanted to be sure he was alright.

So with what little moonlight shone in the shop's darkness, you located the worn sofa where Dante laid. He was engrossed in some TV program, though after sensing your presence his eyes flickered to you.

No words had to be exchanged in order for him to see what was wrong, as he sat up and patted the spot beside him. You smiled in relief and climbed onto the sofa, snuggling into his side as he wrapped an arm around you. "Th-Thanks, Dante."

"No prob. So uh..another nightmare, I guess?"

"Yeah, but..they hurt you, too and...I-I tried staying brave. I shouted at them to leave you alone and..they didn't listen. But...I think one of them looked scared of me."

"Wow." He raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Gotta say I'm impressed."

"Really?"

"Absolutely. Y'know demons are used to seeing kids scream and cry, not take a stand against them. Plus that's pretty epic of you to defend me, so thanks." With a smile, he ruffled your hair.

"You're welcome," you giggled a bit. "But..I really just wanna be as brave as you. I mean...Nero says you laugh at giant demons and tease them all the time. How do you do that without being scared?"

"Well..it comes with the business. Getting them riled up just makes the fight more fun. At least for me. You might think I'm crazy but if ya decide to hunt demons one day...you'll see what I mean."

"But until then, could I watch you fight one? Like a big bad one?"

"......."

"Dante?"

"..kid, there's a reason I never took you on any missions." Dante sighed, swallowing back the growing lump in his throat as he carefully planned his next words. "And how I always...bounce back from getting smacked by a demon tail. No human would be able to withstand that without some broken bones."

"Oh?" You tilted your head. "Then..how can you if you're human?"

"....because I'm not fully human."

As much as he wanted to shut up, he decided to tell you the truth once and for all, not sugarcoating anything:

He explained how his parents were a demon and human--a forbidden romance which resulted in himself and Virgil being born. His bloodline allowed them to blend in with humans, exercise their demonic abilities in battle, and even tap into their true demon forms.

All the while you listened silently, with not much emotion on your face. So it was hard for him to tell what you were probably thinking in this moment.

It scared him.

"...and that's it." He sighed, closing his eyes and looking away from you. "So go ahead and hate me if you want. I won't blame you for-"

"Can you show me?"

Dante blinked stupidly as he swung his head back towards you, wondering if he heard you right.

"I...wish you told me before, but I don't wanna be scared of demons anymore." You smiled a tiny bit as you elaborated. "Especially not one who helped me. So...can I see your other form?"

"...a-alright. Just...if you get scared I can turn back instantly, so don't freak."

"I won't."

He had doubts you'll keep your word, but he got up and activated his Devil Trigger form. As he opened his eyes, you gasped upon seeing how much they were glowing--being orange rather than blue. Red electric sparks danced around his metallic body as he observed you close, anticipating your reaction. He expected you to scream or cry.

Yet..there was only curiosity and wonder in your eyes.

"Scared yet?" He asked in his distorted voice, crouching down in front of you.

Not even the way he spoke startled you, as you just shook your head. "I was wrong all along..not all demons are bad."

"Not even this one?"

"Nope. You look awesome..like a knight in shiny red armor."

"...wow..I um...." For once, the talkative devil hunter was at loss for words. But when you learned forward to hug him around the neck, he was completely shocked.

Earlier in the day he thought of countless worse-case scenarios, and yet...the best-case was happening right now.

You were accepting him, hugging him even.

He couldn't believe it.

Dante smiled as he wrapped his arms around you, making sure his armor spikes didn't hurt you. "Thanks, kid. It really means a lot that you're not terrified anymore........[y/n]?" He was concerned about your lack of response, before realizing you were dozing off.

'Damn..I might make a pretty good dad, after all..' He mused, standing up and making the trek back to your bedroom. Then he set you down and tucked you in, relief and warmth in his heart.

He had a feeling that your nightmares won't be so bad anymore. Now he felt like he could truly protect you.

Why?

Because he was gonna be your knight in shining red armor.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"Jeez, man. Quit clanking around shit and---AH!!! WHAT THE FUCK?!!"

"Shhhh! Chill out, Nero. You'll wake 'em." Dante was quick to shift back to his human form once he was outside your room, glaring at his nephew. "Why are you so freaked out? This ain't the first time you've seen my devil form."

"But still..why in the middle of the night?! Thought we had company."

"...just go back to bed, kid."

"Don't call me kid!"

[chil2de]

Your sharing a bed with the JJK men hc's were incredible 😩 special mentions for Megumi's bed head, Nanami being a secret cuddle bug, and Yuuta having to drink both iced coffees (that fucking sent me fjdndnfd I could picture it so clearly).

You're super talented so could I, er, possible get a NSFW version? 👀 💳💥💥💥💳💳💥💳💥

Thank you so much 🥺💕

hello anonie!!! thank you dear i’m so glad you liked them!! please the credit card emojis had me cackling LMFAOOOO you really made my whole day out here!!!(THE ICED COFFEE WAS MY FAVOURITE PART TOO)

well i managed to hit the max amount of characters allowed in a tumblr post with five characters alone so i’m going to have to split this up into several posts. it just kinda happened ig

characters in this post: itadori yuuji, gojo satoru, okkotsu yuuta, fushiguro toji (megumi was supposed to be here but i had to reserve him for next post😔)

this work is nsfw. if you’re new here, please read my disclaimer before proceeding. thank you and enjoy!

based off of this post

itadori

- itadori would prob be a ‘deer in the headlights’ if you woke him up in the middle of the night

- but after that? shit, he’s so nice to you. so kind and generous for his baby girl. whether he’s fucking you ‘cause he thinks you might be able to sleep after an orgasm or there’s just an incessant desire for him- doesn’t really matter all that much to itadori. he loves you either way :)

- gets horny so easily LMFAO

- would 100% dick you down if you asked him to and i like to think that he still keeps his really sweet personality during sex cause aaaa he would be so soft and reassuring

- hardcore dom yuuji sounds sexy as all hell but let’s be real… this man won’t kill a fly and apologises for stepping on ants. only exception being angry sex but overall reserving hard dom for sukuna :)

you pepper tiny kisses onto itadori’s face, treating him with the utmost care like handling fine china. his skin feels so soft against your lips, and he smells very faintly of milky soap. there’s some traces of brand cologne on his shirt, as well as his natural scent.

“yuuujiii-“ you coo, blowing air very gently. when he doesn’t stir, you run your fingertips through a bundle of his cotton candy tainted hair. it evokes a reaction from him, so you continue to press him.

“y-uuuu-ji!”

after a few moments, itadori lets out a soft whine before grumbling incoherent blabber. “i won’t eat the pineapple! kugisaki will scream at me!”

you giggle before prodding him again, when finally he relents and jolts awake, eyes wide and mouth slightly parted at how close your face is to his.

“‘s it morning yet?” he wrinkles his nose, stifling a yawn. you emit a hum in thought before wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling you into him. itadori squeaks in surprise when he feels you latch your lips onto his neck, suckling and carefully breaking the bonds underneath his sensitive skin. his moan comes out groggy, still laced with sleep.

“that drives me crazy, you know that, right?” itadori laughs, though his voice comes as a wobble.

“i know. and they look so good on you too, hm?” you giggle, caressing one hand from his neck and then down to the hem of his shirt. your fingertips flutter against his bare skin and he shivers physically and audibly. you smooth your palm flat along his chest, dragging your nails carefully against his muscles.

“kinda.. wanna.. go to.. sleep.. but i don’t.. wanna fall asleep…” itadori mumbles against his pillow. the fabric muffles most of it, but there’s a strain in his voice that leads you to believe he’s moaning lightly. guess after sukuna ripped his heart out, this area hasn’t been quite the same, huh?

“so? then go to sleep, yuuji. i’ll be fine-“ “-no way! i gotta take care of you”

“so why don’t you?”

“‘m going to! i was asleep just half a minute ago!”

“and besides-“

he shifts himself up into a sitting position, leaning his back against the headrest. itadori opens his arms, motioning for you to crawl on top of him. without any haste, you clamber over his built frame, ghosting just over the print of his hard dick.

“not that i mind but- we did, you know, in the morning already-“ “oh, shit, sorry- it’s totally fine if you don’t want t-“ “-just messing with you!”

itadori pulls your neck down and gifts you with the same treatment you were offering him earlier. his tongue is hot and wet against your skin and you can already feel the precipitation forming at the back of your knees. calloused yet tender hands smooth around your waist and he smooths his palms over your shoulder blades.

after itadori’s satisfied with the mark he left, you can’t help but groan a little into his mouth when his lips suddenly claim yours. he drinks you up, relying solely on your taste like he’s drowning and you’re the air he needs.

itadori takes his sweet time cherishing you, or rather it’s still his state of half slumber, but you can feel a dull ache prick your abdomen. you scratch up his shirt, motioning for him to take it off. you’re unsure what comes over you, but shit, you don’t want him- you need him.

“heyheyhey, ‘s okay. don’t worry, i got you.”

“i’ll take care of you.”

“just relax, okay? i got this.” he only coos with sweet reassurances, peppering small kisses and handling you with the utmost precision.

you whimper, balancing your palms flat against his abdomen for additional support as you sink down onto itadori’s cock. he lets out a hum of content, forehead bumping against yours as he allows you to adjust.

“you good?” he murmurs after a few moments, capturing a few strands of your hair in between his fingertips. you nod meekly and itadori hisses out a breathy exhale. he’s sure that if he goes rough as shit you might end up more broken than being able to sleep, so he screws his eyes shut and exhales to maintain his composure.

blazing hot lips scrape against your ear, and his voice comes out in a husky tone.

“tell me how you want it.”

by the lords of everything and all that is holy, itadori only chants the same phrase over and over in his mind. it’s a miracle that he’s able to think straight with all the blood rushing to his cock. he’s more than happy to take it slow, reward you with slow and long strokes while he showers you with high praises. but he can’t ignore the twitch that he experiences when he envisions that pretty lil fucked out face of yours, all messy and ruined for him.

you mutter that you have no preference, that you don’t care because anything he’ll do for you is perfect, and it only gives him a beaming smile at your words.

itadori grabs the scrunched up ball of his shirt that he was wearing before ripping the fabric into half with his bare teeth. you watch his eyebrows perk when he notices how fucking hot you just found that, evident with the way your walls fluttered around him.

“here, babe.”

you part your lips and he stuffs the fabric into your mouth, there’s a little bit of excess hanging out, but he reminds you that you look sexy as hell either way, on top of his dick like that with your hands on his chest, legs spread, face flushed and ready for him.

“don’t wanna be wakin’ anyone else up.”

yuuta

this man is about to end my whole career

yuuta wouldn’t bring it up on his own accord just because… respect.. and he doesn’t want to pressure you or make you uncomfortable into doing things you’re not ready to.

it’s kind of a gray area for him because he doesn’t relish the idea of bringing up sensitive and/or extremely awkward topics so he really said ‘i’ll leave it up to future me’s problem’

but holy shit. let me absolutely tell you.

the second you hint at it? anything of the sorts? 0 to 100. he is FREAKY you cannot tell me he’s innocent just LOOK at the man

can make you scream with ease. all that practice he’s been doing with handling katanas? he doesn’t need his dick to make you cum. will gladly lick up your leftover juices and remark with a smile on his face how ‘it tastes good, angel’

similarly to itadori, i think he would be sweet and patient when asking for your preferences, etc, but after that you’re gonna have to find something to bite onto

“and? what’d you tell her?” yuuta remarks from over his fanned out deck of three cards. his gaze flickers to you as he awaits a response before using his index and middle finger to lay down a +4 card.

“red, by the way.”

you huff and glare at your boyfriend, picking up four cards and attempting to hold them in such a way that they don’t all fall and rattle to the floor. truth be told? you’re seriously a sore fuckin’ loser. you don’t know how he does it, but you’ve never managed to win a game against yuuta.

“i told maki-san that it’s her problem, not mine. if she’s so pressed about people taking them, why does she keep noodles stored in the fridge? really, noodles in the fridge? they’re really spicy as well! made my nose run like hell.” you scoff in distaste, throwing down a random red card on the pile.

“you totally ate them didn’t you?” yuuta giggles, beaming you a wide smile.

“also.. told her that i didn’t see them instead but- yeah.”

“aren’t you worried she’ll find out? oh, and, uno.”

“she might just beat me up to be honest, and, uno, you say? not anymore, love.” you sneer, throwing down a +4 card.

“i want green.”

“i’d protect you.” yuuta states over his cards. you feel like cracking a joke and laughing, but there’s absolutely zero implication on his facial features to show that he’s joking. that, and his serious tone, of course.

you flip your cards down onto the table and yuuta squeaks, pointing towards them.

“uh- i can see your cards-“

“it’s okay, not like i was gonna win anyway.”

at this point, yuuta’s mind races a hundred miles an hour. he’s panicking, blood pressure raised, heart thumping and throat clogged. oh, shit, did he do something wrong? did he upset you? is it ‘cause he said he’d protect you with no regards to the fact that you’re perfectly capable of fending yourself off against maki? fuck, he’s such a god damn screw-up, can’t even take care of his girlfriend correct-

“hey.”

your fingertips slide around his neck, hands interlocking at the base of his head. your thighs balance on his lap and you straddle him, legs either side of his.

he can’t help but hitch his breath, holding it in as though one wrong move and you would dematerialise.

“what’re you thinking about in that head of yours?”

whether you’re referencing his mini panic attack just now, or if you’re referring to all the multiple times he’s battled just bending you over and railing the absolute shit out of you, there’s not much room for debate when you brush your clothed sex up against the print of his dick.

yuuta snakes his slender hands around your throat, holding it in place. you can feel the arousal pool and wash over you, and you’d be more than surprised if you hadn’t soaked through your clothes.

he lets out a breathy laugh, devastating your stomach with butterflies due to how attractive he sounds. yuuta’s soft lips brush the shell of your ear and his other hand moves to rest on your waist,

“why don’t i show you?”

before you can utter a tease something along the lines of “show me what? how you’re too scared to hit me in bed?” you’re already down, flipped over and bent over the table you and yuuta were using moments prior ago for uno. the cards have splattered all over the wooden floor and you only hiss in discomfort as the cool surface scratches against your delicate skin. your boyfriend towers over you, leaning down as his torso clicks into place against your back. even through his titanium white jacket, you can feel his calm and collected heartbeat. he rests his head on your shoulder, nudging his face into you.

“don’t scream, okay? or, try not to, at least-“

his warm fingertips ghost over the curve of your ass, where he pinches the skin there before delivering a loud slap. you squeak, back arching as you jolt from the action. he proceeds by grabbing the inside of your thighs, long middle finger hoisting around your underwear and pulling it to the side. he makes note of the red lingerie you’re wearing and gives you a small chuckle, peppering a kiss to the side of your face.

“-unless, of course-“

“-you’d prefer everyone hear me fuck you stupid.”

“safe word’s blue, angel. i love you and thank you.”

truth be told, you were never sure what to expect from yuuta. hell, you’d never really seen the man’s dick before, sure you caught glimpses in the morning whenever he’d wake up but it’s really not the same. nothing in the world can compare to the first time you felt his piping hot tip brush up against your slicked cunt. and it was embarrassing, actually, the way your pussy was seething for him already.

with a firm hold on your tailbone, yuuta utilises his lower body strength to ram his dick all the way inside. there’s a garbled and choked moan that hisses from you when you feel your walls wrap and deform around the girth of yuuta’s dick. you whine even more so when you can physically feel a thick vein that decorates his shaft.

“the mirror.” yuuta commands in a low tone, redirecting you to glance at the same mirror you’d always fantasised about him fucking you in front of.

his eyes are half lidded, riddled with concentration. it reminds you of that feral and focused gaze he gets during serious battles.

“don’t look at me. look here.”

you trail the outline of yuuta’s arm veins as a result of him rolling his uniform sleeves up; following his v line that points towards his dick. you can only gawk in awe when you realise you’ve taken him to the base of his shaft.

his gaze locks with yours for a split second and he snaps his hips out until just about his tip is visible inside your cunt.

and shit, if his pretty pink cock isn’t the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen, especially with that attractive curve. you’re sure the gesture is just to wind you up, but you can’t help but swoon at him showcasing his pride to you.

“so- mmhf- pretty-“ you whine, words jumbled and breath caught when he slams his dick inside without any prior warning. you can only shriek in exclamation when his tip bruises your cervix, and you’re unsure whether you lament the sensation or not.

he only gives you a cheerful hum, reminding you of his usual cheery disposition. it’s not until then that you realise how much of a fucking beast he’s acting right now.

“right? i’ll put it to good use, i promise.”

gojo

- i know we’re all thinking the same thing here lmfao

- trying to sleep? good for you, now, open your legs for satoru.

- oh you can’t sleep? atta girl, down on your knees for satoru.

- bye i can literally imagine gojo saying some dumbass shit like “think you were trying to sleep but i couldn’t help but think how good my dick would look down your throat like that. sorry, love, you’re not sleeping tonight.”

you blink your eyes in turn with the cicadas chirping aside, stifling a yawn. everything around you down to the very last detail screams at you to sleep, but you just cannot. from the pitch black night that floods the room obscurely, to gojo’s even and quiet breathing beside you. you’ve tried it all. you’ve counted an excess amount of sheep, you’ve tensed and relaxed your body more than you can remember. hell, no matter how many times you’ve flipped the pillow you always seemed to feel less exhausted each time.

you can’t watch netflix, because you’ve binged all your favourite shows. it’s not that you’d wake gojo up because, who cares? by the time you finish scrolling through the endless lists it’ll be time to get up.

you ponder over the things you can do, continuing to subconsciously blink furiously. that is until gojo makes note of your stupid actions and starts giggling like a high schooler at his first sleepover.

“what the hell are you doing?” he snorts, cackling into the pillow like it’s the best joke he’s heard for quite some time.

“shut up, satoru. i’m trying to sleep you ass.” you tut at him, berating him for ruining your divine concentration.

gojo audibly shifts onto his stomach, his right arm crosses over the back of his head as he lazily rests his palm onto his scalp. the other arm preoccupies itself by landing it smack bang onto your chest, fingers wandering up to cup your breast.

“satoru, huh? that’s daddy for ya” he remarks, still giggling in a state of half asleep.

“uh-huh. goodnight.” you dismiss him and his nonsense.

“just go take a shower. always helps me whenever i can’t sleep.”

“hm? you’re giving me actual good advice and being a normal boyfriend? i think i might be asleep already, this is the best dream ever.” you remark sarcastically, prying gojo’s glued wrist off of your breast and sitting up. you could go for a shower, actually. you’re not sure why but it’s always so therapeutic to take one at night rather than the morning.

“huuuh? how could you say that? you’re so mean, (y/n)-chaan! i offered you my love and the world and this is how you repay m-“

“-goodnight satoru. i love you.”

“don’t think professing your love for me will change my mind! i’m still upset at you right now, young lady!” gojo shouts from over his pillow, exclaiming and irritating you in the way he knows how to best.

“yeah, yeah. okay.” you mumble softly to yourself, bearing a wide grin from ear to ear nonetheless.

when you move to crank the water on in the shower, you realise that you didn’t bring along a change of clothes. you momentarily pop back into the bedroom to ransack the drawer for anything that you can find.

“are you back to apologise for being so mean to me?” gojo whines and you can see the pout evident on him even when it’s pitch black.

“no, i’m just here for clothes, satoru.”

you hear him mumble something but it’s muffled by the sheets he’s underneath so you don’t heed any attention to it and resume in taking a shower to help keep your insomnia at bay.

with a ginger step and a small ‘oopf’, you heave yourself into the large shower that only a headass like gojo would bother buying. it’s reminiscent to what a hot tub looks like on the inside, with surrounding jets practically in a full 360 degrees. the things so steep that there’s a small step up in front of the shower outside the actual structure. it must have cost quite the fortune.

you reach in for the built in shelf to grab ahold of some of your toiletries as you allow the water to fall in a gentle sprinkle, almost like rain. there’s an audible squeeze reminiscent to trying to get the last ounces of ketchup as you apply some body gel to your hands, lathering it up.

despite standing, the warmth of the water leads your muscles to feel less tense. the only noteworthy downside is that the running water is tremendously loud. how on earth is gojo sleeping through all that racket?

slender fingertips ghost over your inner thighs. you can feel his wet and sturdy chest in place against your spine.

“surprised to see me?”

“you know i can’t let my baby talk shit like that.”

really? that’s his issue at hand here?

“so which is it?”

“acting like an intolerant brat because you’re tired or ‘cause you wanna get dicked down?”

gojo loops his arm underneath your leg, bending it up. you almost topple over in the process and you lay one hand flat against the tile.

“don’t answer that. sometimes it’s so obvious that you’re such a whore for my dick.”

“huh?! what the shit are you saying?” you snap at how correct he is.

gojo yanks your face back, digging his fingers into your cheeks as he forces you to face him. it almost sends your neck into two pieces, straining to look back at him.

“oh, really princess? just the other day you were begging me to fuck you”

“remember that? couldn’t wait so you rode me in the car? you know, baby, all you gotta do is ask.”

your legs tremble and psyche wobbles when he pries your mouth open with his thumb, promptly before spitting into it.

“don’t bother with the bullshit. i’ll play the games, not you.”

he drags his hard cock against the curve of your ass, slapping it against you.

“i don’t think i feel like fuckin’ you right now.” gojo sneers, humming sardonically. his lips quickly latch onto yours when you spin around to meet his gaze. like the fucker he is, gojo moans and whines into the kiss- lips ravaging you whole and tongue capturing your essence.

“baby girl, i was gonna let you top me. you know i don’t let anyone do that.”

his long middle finger prods against your cunt, forcing itself in with ease.

“damn, you’re soaked. you really wanted to milk me dry that bad?”

you hate him. hate him so fucking bad. he flashes you that attractive smile of his, azure eyes sparkling and snow white hair disturbed with water.

gojo pulls his finger out before sucking onto it in front of you, lapping all the excess arousal off.

“i’m not playing with you tonight.”

toji

- i literally don’t even need to say anything here

- just be sure to make a hospital check up appointment or something

- um-i uh- please remember to breathe after this one? maybe touch some grass? ALSO my first time writing for toji AAA i hope he’s okay

maybe if you don’t breathe? nah, that wouldn’t work. there’s still air acting around your limbs when you move so you’d be disturbing the barriers there. let’s see… maybe bit by bit? surely if you slowly inched his shirt up? then again, wouldn’t toji chew you out halfway through? maybe you should just give it to him straight up? just slip your hand under his shirt. come on. but he looks so peaceful, sleeping like that.. long eyelashes fluttered closed, lips relaxed and not scowling. his eyebrows are softly arched. he looks so soft, lips parted, chest rising and falling with every breath.

fuck it. just do it. cuddle him already.

you muster up all your courage in one fell swoop and you bend one leg over toji, resting it just above his groin. your right arm sprawls out over his chest and your hand rests against his toned arm. he’s already sleeping with one arm bent up with his hand supporting the back of his head, so you utilise the free real estate to nestle your head in the crook of where his shoulder and collarbone meet.

when he doesn’t move after a while, you deem your life to be safe and exhale with ease.

“you’re not asleep.” toji states in a groggy, husky tone. it’s supposed to be a question, but, coming from him it almost sounds like a challenge.

“yes?” you squeak out meekly.

“‘yes?’ you asleep or not?”

“i can’t sleep again.” you murmur against his shirt and he exhales a small sigh. the arm that you’re clinging onto moves to draw small circles on your thigh that rests on toji.

“when’d you notice?” you inquire, glancing down at his large wrists.

“like five minutes ago. nice try, kid.” toji snorts indifferently, chuckling at your behaviour.

when you don’t make an effort to respond, toji’s interest peaks and he lets out a small hum of intrigue when he follows your gaze.

he turns his head, brushing his lips up against your temples.

“see anything interesting down there?”

“as a matter of fact-“

you nestle yourself in between toji’s large and built thighs, digits curling around the waistband of his boxers. he only smirks at you through the dark, cock twitching through the fabric. you notice toji hover his hips up so that you can slide his boxers off for him and you happily oblige.

“-i do.” you chime, licking your lips.

it’s cute, though, if you thought toji was gonna let you handle him like that all by yourself.

as you kiss a trail up his thick shaft, toji yanks ahold fistfuls of your hair before grabbing your face off of his cock.

“who said you could suck my dick? that’s real cute.”

“thinking you actually have a place in my house.”

“i didn’t train you to be such a depraved slut. know your fucking place, because this isn’t it.”

“how many times do i gotta tell you? you don’t belong here. look around. do you see anything that shows a woman lives here? no? that’s because you’re nothing but a fuck doll for me.”

toji hisses out profanities at the gag you spew when he slams your tiny little mouth back down on his dick.

“lose the teeth you imbecile. unless you’re trying to tell me that you can’t suck my dick properly.”

incessant whines and garbled sentences are muffled by toji’s cock. whatever remnants you had of your vision are nothing but a blur as tears stream your cheeks, nose running and sniffles resurface in a repeating pattern over the slick sounds of slurping and gagging. your mouth stretches as far as it can go and the corners of your lips shriek in despair. you can feel the skin there stretch and pull beyond what’s considered normal.

even through all that, you manage to glance up at toji through your water logged lashes. you’ll be a good girl for him. you need to be.

“fuuuck. that’s a pretty sight.” he grumbles and a deep chuckle resonates through his chest. within a few moments, toji fumbles to reach for something.

you can only wince and screw your eyes at the suddenly blinding flash of a light in front of you. one can only assume he’s taken a photo of you in your humiliating state.

you can feel the fear settle into your veins when that telltale ping of a message being sent vibrates throughout the room. if you were to listen hard enough, you could hear a notification go off in the next room over.

your throat feels raw, jaw tense and locked open. it’s been a good twenty minutes of toji face fucking you to teach you a valid lesson. it’s all in the will of him wanting to drag this on, savouring every miniscule slurp, whimper or gasp. when his strokes start to feel sloppier than usual, you can’t help but feel relieved.

as you squirm about due to toji shooting hot ropes of his thick cum down your throat, the door softly clicks open.

“megumi. you’re just in time.”

“she’s way more obedient than your mom ever used to be.”

[enhypia]

HS ; couples

couples answers questions with the choice of drinking instead of answering

pairings: lee heeseung x gn!reader

genre: fluff, angst if you squint really hard

words: roughly 1.4k

masterlist ⸺ series masterlist

~guides and warnings~

italics - reader speaking

bold - heeseung speaking

[enclosed] - interviewer speaking

italicized bold - both reader and heeseung speaking

[enclosed bold or italics] - question (depends on who's speaking)

heavily inspired by: rec.create lie detector games, cut truth or drink

warning: contains and mentions of !!! drinking, swearing

i don't promote underage drinking, save your livers

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

hi! i'm (y/n)

hello, my name is heeseung!

and we're together

we're couples!

[you guys were invited here today as couples for a fun little drinking game, you guys were aware of that right?]

yes

we are

[okay, for this game, questions will be asked and if you refuse to answer, you drink, it's that simple. should we start?]

let's go, i can't wait to drink

so you won't be answering the questions?

i mean, it's free alcohol

*hee shakes his head in disbelief

[how long have you been together?]

we actually just had our 3rd anniversary last week

so 3 years now <33

[how did you two meet?]

pffft- *(y/n) laughs

can we just choose pass

shot!

*hee offers the shot glass to (y/n) and both take a shot, laughing after

we're drinking this early on damn

we met through a mutual friend

i was brought as a wingman

i think you can guess how it went

[but how did you guys become a couple?]

we got closer after meeting and i think it was obvious to the both of us that we were interested in each other

yeah but it still took a lot in me to ask you out

he stuttered the first time he asked me on a date

did i?

*(y/n) laughs at the memory

you went "hey, so uh you wa-"

*hee cuts (y/n) off by squishing their cheeks

we don't need a reminder

*(y/n) swats his hand away

but it was cute, don't worry

*(y/n) pats his head making heeseung smile

[okay, how about we officially start the game now?]

*both nod and played rock paper and scissors to determine who gets to ask first, (y/n) wins

*(y/n) reads the card and chuckles

[was it love at first sight?]

it wasn't

like i said, i was supposed to be a wingman so in my head, they were already off limits

i don't believe in love at first sight so *(y/n) shrugs

[do you have/did you have doubts with us being together?]

goddamn *(y/n) drinks

*heeseung is wide-eyed

no honey, not like that, i will answer, it's just that i need the alcohol boost

*the shock goes away

i was about to shed tears not gonna lie

*(y/n) rolls their eyes

when i agreed to becoming heeseung's significant others, i had no doubts, i knew what i felt was true and i knew his was too. the doubts were mainly on myself?? like "what if he just wakes and he doesn't love me anymore" but everyday heeseung proves to me that that will never happen

*(y/n) smiles at heeseung

*heeseung looks away trying to hide the smile and blush appearing on his face and he takes a shot refusing to meet (y/n)'s eyes

*(y/n) picks up a card and laughs

[if i become a zombie and had to eat people to survive, would you stick by side?]

heeseung gets scared easily i don't think he will

but if it's you...

*(y/n) raises an eyebrow

wait let me think about this more clearly

see! *(y/n) laughs

*heeseung continues to think

omg just say no!

but it's you !!!

i know it's me but baby we both know you'll run the other way once i start to eat people

...... you still love me right?

yes heeseung, i still love you

*hee :D

okay! next question!

*he picks up a card and laughs

oh i like this one.

[would you date any of my friends?]

*(y/n)'s mouth drops in shock

*(y/n) ultimately decides to play with heeseung

i mean.. *(y/n) reaches for a shot

*the grin on his face disappears

yah!

*(y/n) bursts into giggles and takes a shot

yah~ !!

[would YOU date any of my friends?]

*hee's eyes narrows and takes a shot for revenge

*both laugh at their antics

the answer is no guys, i love his friends but they're pretty much like annoying siblings

sorry (y/n)'s friends, (y/n) is the only one for me

but i'm pretty sure someone who used to be in my circle would jump at the chance

really ?? who ??

*(y/n) gives the look

AH! -

*scene cuts as he says a name

moving on.

*(y/n) picks up a card and laughs

[do you wish i offered to pay for more dates?]

MAN I WISH I COULD PAY MORE ON DATES

i like paying for our dates, but arguing with them is hard

yeah there was one time we spent 10 minutes bickering about who will pay, so we just made an agreement

we take turns per month, like for this month i'm the one paying for all the dates, then on the next month (y/n) will be paying

but everytime it's his month, he always tries to go out a lot, and when it's my month he opts to stay in

hehe

hEHE ??

*heeseung picks up a card and reads the question intently

*he is in deep thought

what is it?

[will you agree to an open relationship?]

ohhh

open relationship is when it's okay if you see other people right?

yup and i don't think i'd agree to it. you?

me as well

sorry im selfish, heeseung is mine, i do not share ;)

*heeseung laughs

yeah, sorry it's not for me, i don't think i can stomach seeing another one hold (y/n) , find your own

*(y/n) raises glasses to cheers and both take a shot

[it's okay not to drink if you answer]

yeah we know

but it's free alcohol

and drinking makes it more fun

*they hi-five

okay! next question,

[if i had to move away for many years, would you wait for me?]

yes.

wow no hesitations

yes i would wait for you

*(y/n) :O

yes

okay we get it

*they laugh

but i will, you're worth waiting for

your patience says otherwise

are you doubting my ability to wait?

do you hear yourself when you're playing?

that's with games, you're not a game, you're not something i play

*(y/n) blushes making heeseung laugh

shut up okay i get it

i also do not actually trust my patience

SEE ?!

*heeseung bursts out laughing

so instead of waiting i'd probably just go to them and/or visit them a lot

or just move in with me

*(y/n) avoids heeseung's stare

is this still related to the question or the present

huh? *(y/n) acts clueless

WAIT-

*camera cut

*we see both of them sporting a blush with big smiles on their face, and the alcohol evidently lessened

[freestyle! ask any question you want]

wah, i don't know what to ask

*he is thinking, everybody shut up

just keep it simple

no i want it to be hard

i can just actually follow the rules and drink instead of answering

*hee pouts

no you won't

*(y/n) :P

okay!

[did you like ... when we first met?]

oh the 'friend'?

yeah

*(y/n) drinks

*heeseung :O

*(y/n) xD

no heeseung, i did not like them, i really just saw them as a friend

ohh ouch sorry buddy

*they share a laugh

oh it's the last one

[question for both: what does loving each other feel like?]

awww that's a cute one, i'll go first

loving heeseung feels like the comfort your favorite songs bring you. it feels like the excitement you get whenever your favorite show releases a new episode. it's the deep sigh in content you release whenever you smell your favorite scent. it's just, loving him feels like everything your favorites make you feel.

*heeseung is not tearing up, definitely not, that's just sweat, he is also 100% not blushing, it's just hot

*he takes a shot and (y/n) laughs at his antics

now how am i supposed to beat that?!

let me be more romantic gosh

respectfully, no.

*both laugh

okay uhh, loving (y/n) feels like riding a rollercoaster. from all the emotions while waiting in line to exiting the ride. loving them is like the feeling of hitting a high note you previously couldn't. it's winning multiple prizes at the arcade. loving (y/n) is like the softness of a sunrise and the absolute wonder in staring at a night sky.

*(y/n) takes a shot not even bothering to hide their blush

why are we so cheesy and poetic when we're intoxicated damn

*heeseung laughs and agrees

forgive us if we're cringey

not our fault you're single

heeseung! :O

*he stays unapologetic

and that's it!

thank you for having us~

bye~

»————-　♡　————-«

bonus: youtube comments

masterlist ⸺ series masterlist

a/n: sorry this took so long, i caught up with everything i missed in my classes, i'll try to update the series more frequently. i will also be posting timestamps later since it's been days since i last posted. i hope you also like this one!! jay's will be posted next, please look forward to it <33

[oops-aquarius]

tainted kisses

summary: steve needs some relaxation, which you provide to him

warnings: smut (!!!!), praise kink, slight degradation kink, a little bit of angst cuz a hoe is sad, oral fixation (duh), slight dom/sub dynamics (?), mentions of sadness/depression, tiny mommy kink (like barely there)

pairing: steve rogers x reader

word count: 2.2k

note(s): not edited well at all, also i used a prompt generator to get the promt i used (which is below !!)

prompt: “baths or water (tubs or jacuzzis; hot springs; water houses or steam rooms; the ocean; swimming pools.”

kink: “Oral fixation or fetishization (lips, tongue, or whole mouth; french-kissing; licking; oral displays using food or beer bottles; smoking cigarettes, cigars, or pipes; biting or chewing one's lip(s))”

--

***this is post-endgame except nobody died, cause im a hoe for all of the avengers***

Steve never realized how much he liked things in his mouth. Not always in a sexual way, at least not until after fighting Thanos.

After fighting for so long, bottling up his emotions was not at all how Steve needed to cope. He tried the yoga and meditation route Wanda had so kindly suggested. Yeah, after one session of hot yoga, Steve decided that it wasn't going to happen. Tony, obviously, suggested sex. Said something about it being a “healing experience for the soul”. That’s bullshit were Steve’s first thoughts when that came out of his mouth. Bucky told him to get some goats and raved about how therapeutic it was to raise them. But Steve could barely take care of himself, how would he even take care of a goat? Steve felt a hot sense of hopelessness burn against the back of his eyes as he sat on the floor of his bedroom, back pressed against the adjoined bathroom door.

“Steve?” A soft knock came from the front door. He took his thumb away from his mouth, he had resorted to subconsciously nibbling on the tip of it. Pulling himself off the door and towards the voice, he rubbed his tear-stricken cheeks in attempts to clean himself up a bit before seeing you.

“One sec, Y/N/N.”

When he opened the door, your face softened a bit before the smile that Steve, secretly, loved so much dropped off your face completely. “Stevie, what happened?”

Stevie, a nickname he hated for his entire life. A name that reminded him of the days before the super solider serum where he was a little guy getting beaten up on the streets of Brooklyn. Stevie, a nickname he loved hearing from your caring voice. Nobody else’s. 

“Just tired, Y/N” he sighed, “so,so tired.”

“Stevie,” your voice caught at the back of your throat. Seeing him in so much pain made your life turn upside down. He doesn't deserve to be in pain. “ S’there anything I can do to make you feel better?”

“Just stay with me? Please?”

You took him back into his bed and sat with him, just talking about life until his breathing turned back to normal and he seemed partially-okay. 

“Do you want to take a bath?” you asked, still stroking the blonde strands of his hair.

“Are you saying I smell?” He took his face out of the crook of your shoulder, feigning a look of hurt.

“No, punk, I meant to relax. You seemed pretty shaken up and I just wanted to help. I mean, that’s what I do when I feel down, relax in a bat-”

He cuts you off, “I appreciate it. Really, Y/N, I don’t know many people that are as loving and caring as you, sweetheart.” The nickname made a pang in your heart. You had like the super solider since you had met him, but never felt like he reciprocated the feelings. Even though you both cuddled often, and had movie nights, and he always let you beat him while sparring, and that one time you came down with a stomach bug and he fed you soup and-holy shit. Did Steve like you? “Sweetheart?”

“Huh?”

“I said, ‘A bath does sound nice’. What’s got you so suddenly zoned out?” He says, donning a smirk.

“It’s nothing. Let’s get you into that bath, mister,” you had a faux grumpy look on your face as you got up and walked to the bathroom, starting to fill the white, ceramic bathtub with warm water. “Okay, big boy. You need help getting up or are you okay?”

Rolling his eyes at your inauthentic tone, Steve pushes his tensed frame off the body and managed to stumble into the bathroom, while you following him closely to make sure he doesn't fall over from exhaustion.

“I get it, I’m old, but damn Y/N. I can walk perfectly fine,” He chuckles as he pushes himself up to sit on the counter top.

You start to fill up the bathtub with warm water, adding bubbles and lighting a few scented candles. He looked so pretty, hair sticking out in every direction, lips pink and puffy from biting them, his ocean blue eyes still misty as he looks down at his cuticles, picking them slightly. 

“Okay, I’m gonna leave so you can take this bath,” you say, shutting off the faucet, “Got it?”

“Y/N?”

“Yes, Stevie.”

“Stay, please.” His eyes were watering more than earlier. He had those puppy dog eyes, lip quivering as his voice cracked and wavered even with just a few words. He looked so vulnerable, how could you say no to him?

“Of course, Steve. I mean, the bubbles with kind of cover everything. I’ll just sit next to the tub with you, alright?” You awkwardly giggled and scratched the back of your neck. He nodded, hopping off of the counter and starting to undress himself with a wobble. “Stevie, you’re shaking like a leaf, let me help you.”

His eyes never met yours as you helped him pull his t-shirt over his head and looped your delicate fingers through the waistband of his sweatpants, dragging them down his muscular thighs. “You’re not gonna finish your job, doll?”

His boxers. The only clothes he had left on were his grey boxers. You wanted to give him privacy and not look, especially in such a broken and vulnerable state. But god, you could see the outline of his partially-hard cock through the soft cotton. You thought about what it would be like to have your mouth around his hard length, chocking on it as he rammed himself into the back of your throat.

“Ummm, I just--I thought--I mean I can---Only if you want--” The dirty thoughts clouded your brain. It made speaking a speaking a sentence almost impossible as your mouth watered just thinking about his cock.

“It was a joke, sweetheart,” he laughed heartily, “You’re too adorable.”

Pulling his boxers down his legs, he waddled tiredly over to the tub before stepping in. He groaned in pleasure at the feeling of the warm water encapsulating his exhausted body. You imagined that’s how he’d groan if you sucked his cock so hard he was seeing stars.

You were still facing the door, like you were as Steve got completely undressed. You knew if you turned around and look at him, naked and at ease, you’d jump his bones in a heartbeat. “Come sit with me, Y/N”

And you did. You turned around cautiously, like you expected, the bubbles covered his body enough for you to be able to handle yourself as you sat down next to the tub. You grabbed his hand away from his lips, running your soft fingers over his rough calloused ones. “I always see you biting your nails or cuticle or lips or your pens. Why?”

He sighed, “I’m not sure, I guess it just distracts me?” He said it more like it was a question rather than a statement. “I guess I don’t truly know why I do it, I guess I just enjoy having things in my mouth.”

You could read Steve like a book, his pupils blown with lust, his lip stuck between his teeth, a blush heating up his cheeks. You took a leap of faith.

“Yeah, like what?”

“You.”

His lips were on yours in a flurry, it took a second for you to react, but as soon as you did it felt amazing. Neither of you seemed to care about the water splashing over you as his hands trailed up your body, tugging at the hem of your shirt.

He pulls away panting, “F-Fuck, Y/N, I need you. Please. Oh my god I need you so bad,” His eyes looked as if they were welling up with tears and he looked so pretty still in the relaxing bubble bath, whimpering and whining for you. 

“God, I need you too, baby,” you stop to look in his eyes sincerely, “Are you sure you want this? I don’t want to do anything that you don’t want to do or that you will regret.” Your hand caresses his cheek.

“Just get in here with me and I’ll show you how much I want you,” he whispered, “Need you, really.”

You sighed before your hands moved shakily to take off your t shirt. As much as you wanted this, you were still scared of how the ripped super solider would feel about you and your body, As soon as your shirt was off, Steve was whimpering, dipping his hand into the soapy water to massage his aching cock. This only spurred you to take off your clothes and join him faster. 

“Did I say you could touch yourself, puppy?” Your stern voice caught him off-guard, making him pause his actions with a look of fear on his face. You step into the bathtub, straddling him. Your nails raked up his milky white thighs, trailing up his body admiring the beauty of it. “Y’Know I was planning on being nice to you because you’ve been so good to me, but you might need to be punished, baby? Do you need to punshied like a brat?”

He mewled, bowing his head in shame. You could feel him growing harder and harder by the second and you were starting to go crazy with the empty feeling inside of you that on he could fill. “No, ma’am. I’ll be good, I swear!”

“Mmmm, that’s my good boy.” Your hands slid up his chest and rested on his cheeks, hearing him preen at your praise, as you repositioned yourself over his cock. “Are you sure you want this?”

“If you dont ride me into next week right fucking now I’m going to scream, Y/N,” He breathed out with a chuckle, Grabbing your thighs, he helps you sink down on his cock. Both of you were moaning and whimpering messes by the time you were sitting at this base of him, trying to get adjusted to his large size. 

Hot tears burned at the back of his eyes as soon as you lifted yourself up off of him, only leaving the tip of him inside of you, and slamming back down on his dick. 

“Baby-please,” he whimpered, “n-need, shit, need your fingers, bad.” 

You were confused, slowing down a bit to make sure he was okay. But his puppy dog eyes showed that he was okay. Slowly taking your wrist from his cheek, he puts your fingers in his warm mouth. Moaning around them and swirling his tongue around them. He did it the same way you always dreamed about sucking his dick, chocking and gagging on his length.

“Yeah, you’re such a needy little slut for me, for this pussy. Look at you, so ruined and fucked out just because I’m fucking you.” He moaned sensually at your words making your core tighten impossibly. 

You had gotten a good idea as you were riding him. Slowly, you start to thrust your hand in and out of his mouth, watching the saliva dribble out of the corners of his mouth as he choked on you. The band in your tummy starts tightening as you feel yourself getting close. 

“Shit, fuck, baby, I’m gonna come. Oh my god, you’re make me come with your beautiful cock, puppy. So good for me, aren’t you?” Your free hand dips into the water, cupping his balls and rolling them around your soft palm.

He nods, choking on your nimble finger yet again his you massage his sensitive balls. “Gonna come,” he slurred and spit around you.\, “almost there.”

“I didn’t” you moaned as you feel his balls tighten, fall back down on his cock at a faster pace, “give you permission to do that. I thought you were going to be good for me?”

“I am” he spluttered loudly, “i am good, I swear. Just please let me come. I need it, oh shit, mommy.”

The name went straight to your core, making you grow weak as you feebly give him permission to come as you come undone with one more bounce on his large member. His hands come up to grope your breasts as he come with hot spurts inside of your tight cunt. 

“Oh my god,” you stifle a giggle as you stand up on shaky legs. You wordlessly helped him out of the tub and wrapped him in a white towel, walking him to bed while you dried yourself off. Collapsing on the bed with a grunt, the solider hollds out his hand to you, signalling you to lay down with him. You could easily tell he was still coming down from his sex high, starting to regain his self back.

“I dont know what possessed me to,” he pauses, trying to figure out a way to word the rest of his sentence, “to suck, I guess, on your hand. I’m sorry, Y/N, that was really weird of me.”

“What do’ya mean, baby? Having an oral fixation isn’t something to be ashamed of.” The words make him smile with droopy eyes, tucking his head into your neck and starting to fall asleep, happy and comfortable, cuddling you.

“And to be honest, puppy. I think it’s really hot.”