#yeah sometimes i make fake posters ...

[beelzeebub]

Goncharov (1973) dir. Martin Scorsese

“The greatest mafia movie (n)ever made.”

[steddielations]

Eddie’s queer awakening Part 2 | Part 1

Steve doesn’t know what else to do to make Eddie realize he likes him. Never in his life has he had to work this hard at winning someone over. Never.

Even with Nancy in high school, there was always a hint that she wanted him to chase her, which made it worthwhile. Sometimes, Eddie will do something that makes Steve sure he feels the same, flirting back. Then Eddie will do something that makes Steve not so sure, laughing it off.

Steve doesn’t like resorting to bullshit queer stereotypes because he doesn’t exactly fit them either, but Eddie looks like those rugged guys on his posters and album covers. Sometimes it feels like a masculinity performance worthy of King Steve, but sometimes it feels genuine.

Eddie’s not dressing like Bowie, but he prances around on cafeteria tables yelling about sodomy and he’s never had a girlfriend that Steve knows of. He could like both, same as Steve, of course. Or it could be nothing, of course. Steve’s just putting all these moves on a straight boy, about to get his heart broken again.

Robin’s given him countless pep talks, assuring him that he’s right about Eddie when he starts to doubt it. “You sniffed Vickie out just from her VHS returns. If anyone has a functional queer detector here, it’s you. Trust it.”

“What if I ask him out and he rejects me?” Steve fully understands Robin’s worries now, it’s not the same as getting shot down by a girl. “I’ve got enough rumors about me already.” They all wanted to say it in high school, calling Steve a pretty boy in tight pants that spent too much time in the mirror.

Tommy used to shoot them all down. Now he’s not by Steve’s side, snarling at anyone who suggests it. Which was mostly just Tommy trying to convince himself that everything they did under the covers at sleepovers was “just guy stuff”, and he convinced Steve too. To the point where Steve hadn’t even considered any different until a few months ago when he told Robin and— yeah, that was an eventful conversation. The first time he stumbled across the word bisexual— from a Bowie interview in one of Robin’s magazines— it felt like something clicked into place.

“I don’t think Eddie’s the type to out anyone, either way.” Robin’s right. She’s not always right, everything would be easier if she was, but she’s right about that.

“I keep having to pretend to like his shitty weed to get him to come over. Not even the yawn and stretch move worked on him. Y’know, this,” Steve demonstrates, stretching an arm above his head and then draping it over Robin’s shoulder. She shrugs him off with a fake gag. “I kept looking at his lips and I thought we were gonna kiss, but he laughed and poked me in the ribs and called me dude.”

Robin listens to all his boy troubles and then they come up with a plan. Steve decides he’s going to come out to Eddie, just put it out there that he likes guys. In a totally platonic way and hopefully that gets the ball rolling the other way, where he tells Eddie he likes one guy in particular and hopes all his Romeo efforts don’t blow up in his face.

So he goes for it. Eddie strolls into Family Video and picks out a movie that Steve’s actually heard of for once. It’s easy for Steve to throw him a smile and invite himself over. “You know this is the closest thing to a romance movie you’ve picked? No way I’m letting you watch this alone, somebody’s gotta hold your hand through the sad ending, looks like it’s gonna be me.”

Several emotions fly across Eddie’s face, landing on overwhelmed disbelief. “I don’t get it, man. How do you not have a girlfriend? You’d be so easy to fall in love with. Hell, I feel like you've made me fall halfway in love with you already. If I was a girl, I’d date the shit out of you.”

It looks like Eddie wants to clap a hand over his mouth as soon as the words leave it.

Steve watches him carefully, trying to think clearly over his heart pounding in his chest because Eddie just said he loves him, kind of. This is it. “Would you still date me as a guy?”

Eddie’s nervous hands jingle with chain bracelets as they tug his hair and hide his face. “You mean, objectively? As a guy would I date another guy? I mean, could I want that? I hadn’t really considered that option until now. Uh. Shit. Wow, this is-”

“Because I would, you know,” Steve jumps to say, as earnestly as he can, needing Eddie to finally know. How could he not know? This is it. Steve didn’t come all this way just to tap out at the finish line. He goes for it. “I’d date you as a guy, Eddie. I’d date the shit out of you, too, just like you are.”

Eddie’s face is flushed now, his eyes wide and swimming with both questions and realizations. Steve snaps out of it for a second, looking around to see the store is thankfully empty, Robin’s still on her break, but this isn’t the place for this conversation.

“Wanna talk about it over the movie tonight?” He offers.

It moors Eddie, he relaxes more and Steve hopes he’s not imagining the faint hint of a smile. “Yeah, that’s— yeah, talk. I can do that.”

“Okay, it’s a date. See you then.” Steve hands over the tape, their fingers brushing and making warmth flutter all through him. He watches Eddie halfway trip out the door, running into it once and pulling on it three times before pushing it open.

Steve can’t stop grinning, thinking about later, determined to tell Eddie he’s already in love with him too.

[inkskinned]

it takes a really long time to unlearn but there's no such thing as "cheating" or "half-assing" being a person. if you need to leave the cabinet doors open, leave them open. microwave your tea. sit down in the shower. buy the eggmaker. use your phone to calculate tip.

it's mostly fake posterity rules. who cares if you microwave your dinners. who cares if you use instant coffee. who cares if you stop watching the show that got boring. we all have a different set of skills and a different life and taking care of yourself is fucking hard.

at the end of your life there will be no final scoreboard. nobody is going to judge you because you brushed your teeth in the shower. there will be no final count of the number of times you had the same meal five nights in a row. there will be no fanfare or party because you won at being a person - and no one will be disappointed that you never understood the point of using paper towels to dry your hands off after washing them.

yeah, in this world, people will put up a fuss. i've noticed some of the biggest fusses are over what you'll put in/on your body. the fact that i will regularly eat deli meat straight out of the bag makes a lot of people genuinely concerned for me. but here's the thing: sometimes that's the only way i'm getting any protein. my doctor says i am doing fine. i'm sticking to my weird snacks and calling it deconstructed charcuterie.

they'll say they're horrified because you take a shortcut. that's fine. it's just that it looks like a shortcut to them because they're on a different life path. these kinds of things stand out to them as important. that's fine too. but for you? you've got other things that already make you pretty hard working. and these tiny things - well, they're just clutter on your journey.

[sciderman]

Round boy + mask = square jaw

Pointy boy + mask = egg

Why?

wade's mask is masc. (hahaehehehahaeo...)

wade does a lot to mask his soft interior – he worries a lot about appearing soft.

[x]

he's GETTING SOFT (and peter loves it. he loves when wade gets soft.)

[x]

underneath it all, wade's soft and round. no matter how he tries to hide it.

[x]

wade is always hiding it – to way more extreme and destructive measures than peter, actually.

it's kind of funny, wade's insistence that peter needs to be honest to himself - because wade's the poster boy. wade finds it difficult to be true to himself, because he doesn't even know which "self" is true at this point. he's constantly pretending to be someone or something else.

something that'll please others. make him more palatable. more entertaining. make the audience side with him, even if he thinks he's undeserving. fake it till you make it.

sometimes i think about how wade lost his virginity the night before he enlisted (because he was worried the guys would make fun of him if he was a virgin.)

of course they made fun of him anyway.

he doubles down - he puts on the macho air that everyone expects from him. he can be the bad boy. he can be the rugged antihero that is a total jerk but everyone loves anyway because he's the tough guy. it's why you'll never get to see what adult wade looked like pre-weapon X - you'll see wade in his teenage years - but once he enlists - that's not wade wilson. he's constantly playing a role. cool action hero, whatever'll get him the girl.

it isn't until weapon X that he's forced into a position where he can't hide anymore. everything is on his skin. plain as day, for everyone to see.

[x]

deadpool becomes the mask wade can hide all his damage and his insecurities behind because lord knows he can't hide a thing when he's out of it. like a lobster out of his shell. he's soft, and pink and tender. he couldn't survive without that hard red shell exterior, to make him look tough.

peter's mask is also masc, but his mask is peter parker.

spider-man is kind of funny. in that – outwardly, it does look similar to deadpool's performative masculinity. he has "-man" in his name, for christ's sake - but - it's not, really. you wouldn't say spider-man is overly macho. even as much as peter insists it is - nobody buys it.

you'd definitely, by all accounts, call peter parker the more masc aligned of the two - peter wears baggy clothes, he's kind of uptight, a little bit boring - and spider-man - spider-man's downright flamboyant - from his mannerisms, his jokes, and his tights. oh, and his fluttery little web-wings. he is fruity.

spider-man, in his tiny fruity little tights: YEAH. take a look at ME, girls. this is what true manhood looks like.

you might say the confidence it grants him is what makes him macho - but i think the fun thing about peter's gender journey is his embracal that actually - confidence isn't necessarily a masculine trait, and that - actually, his gender icons (save for uncle ben) are largely confident women.

i think that's why olive is so dear to me - that peter's leaning into a confidence and self-assuredness that doesn't come from being conventionally masculine. and, in fact - peter parker might be so shy and insecure because he's trying to fit in a box that doesn't fit him.

i think spider-man is more of a playground for peter. a place where he can experiment with his gender and his sexuality and the concept of "manhood" and what it means to him.

he can explore, because the anonymity grants him less social pressure to fit in. society can despise spider-man, and yeah - it'll get him down, but the repercussions are relatively little. peter has to fit in, to survive. and, as peter parker, he's terrified of those repercussions.

peter has such a desire to explore his identity and understand himself better - but, under safe, controlled conditions - whether that's under the anonymity of his mask or... or with people, who make him feel safe.

so, spider-man is peter's outlet to be fruity without repercussions. peter's og dragsona, actually. so – lithe, and curvy. he is so shape.

[happy74827]

Promises and Ballads

[Todd Ingram x Female!Reader]

Synopsis: Todd notices the gloomy outlook on you, and although he’s not much help, he still attempts at making you smile.

WC: 1458

Category: Comfort

So, I decided to watch Scott Pilgrim Vs The World last night, and now I’m obsessed. It’s so chaotically good. Todd was my favorite evil ex out the seven, so ofc I had to write about him. And now, here we are.

『••✎••』

The dim glow of Todd's apartment was pierced by the vibrant colors of posters plastered on the walls. The distant sound of guitars being tuned hinted at the imminent performance of "The Clash at Demonhead." You, however, were sitting on the couch with a storm of emotions clouding your expression.

"So," Todd started, pulling you from your thoughts, "How's college life treating you?" His question was followed by the tapping of the tuning pegs as he finished tuning his bass.

"It's fine," you said, giving him a fake smile. "Nothing too special."

He turned away from the bass to face you, his eyebrows raised. "…Really? Nothing too special? I find that hard to believe, considering… well, you know. I'd expect at least a few crazy stories from you by now."

You sighed and stared into your hands as you pulled them from the sofa, a pained look on your face. You didn’t respond.

Todd let out a soft hum, then walked over and sat next to you on the sofa. He draped his arm over your shoulders, pulling you close. You flinched, your breath hitching, but you didn't pull away from him.

Todd was your best friend since high school. You weren’t very popular and had a hard time making friends, but then you met Todd. Brash, stubborn, and confident Todd. He was your opposite in every way. That was probably why you both hit it off so well.

During the first few weeks in high school, Todd would get in fights. It was always something stupid. Someone would call him a chicken, and he’d hit them, or someone would insult his hair, and he would deck them in the jaw.

Eventually, after a particularly bad fight, he brought enough concern that your algebra teacher decided to dump him on you to “guide” him.

It didn’t work, obviously, as Todd just gave you hell for being a teacher's pet, but that eventually led you into being friends when he realized how little you stuck up for yourself.

It was a weird friendship, you had to admit. But it worked out.

You grew up together. Todd would skip class, and you'd help tutor him. You'd sneak out at night and see bands and shows with him, and sometimes, you'd hang out here in his apartment and watch old movies or play video games. You two were as close as you could possibly get. Well, not as close as you'd hoped you could be, but that's life, right?

"Alright, whose ass do I need to kick?" Todd asked, breaking you from your thoughts.

"What?" You asked, confused.

"Well, you were super excited last week, and now you're just a slump. I’ll go vegan-punch their asses for you, no problem." He looked into your eyes, searching them, trying to find an answer to his question.

You laughed and pushed his arm off you. "I still find it weird how you got powers just for being vegan."

"Hey,” Like on cue, his hair suddenly rose as his eyes became glowing beams of white light. "I’m not complaining. Shit’s awesome, especially since I get to kick the shit out of some people,"

As you sighed, turning away from him momentarily, his hair died down as his eyes faded back to their normal color. Despite the humor, they were filled with concern. He didn't like it when you got quiet like this. It reminded him of the old days.

He gently turned your face toward his. "Hey, what's going on?"

"Todd, I," You bit your lip, trying to think of how to word what you were feeling. "I'm going to miss this."

"Miss what? My handsome face?"

"Stupid, you mean? Yeah, but that's not what I meant." You paused and looked around his apartment, your eyes landing on the many posters of bands that hung on the wall. "This."

“The… posters?” He asked.

You shook your head and turned away from them. "No. This. Us. All of it."

He stared at you, blinking slowly. "What?"

His voice was soft, dazed. Confused

He wasn’t getting it. God, it was so frustrating. How was he this stupid? Why were you friends again?

"Friendship. I mean, our friendship. When I leave again, we won't see each other as often, and when we do, we won't be as close. You’d be… well, busy.”

His expression was blank, his eyes wide and unblinking. "That's what you're worried about?"

"I—" You opened your mouth to answer him, but you couldn't think of the words you wanted to say. You just let out a deep breath and closed your eyes.

Todd leaned in, gently placing his hand on your cheek, turning your face toward his again. Your eyes opened to look at him, confused and filled with worry.

"Don't sweat it about that stuff. We'll still be friends, alright?" His words were firm, leaving no room for argument. "I won’t let you go."

His eyes were filled with that same determination; his hand was warm on your cheek, and his hair was bristling and sticking out every which way. This was Todd. This was the boy who took on everyone, whether they were ten times his size or a hundred times more skilled than him. This was the boy who took on bullies and came out on top.

And despite all that, despite everything, you had a nagging feeling in the back of your mind. You felt like something was going to go wrong.

You didn't realize it then, but in those moments, you realized that Todd didn't see you as a friend. Not just a friend.

He didn't see you as anything less, either.

It was at that moment that he finally saw you, and you were able to see him.

He smiled, that dumb, idiotic grin he always did when he was about to do something stupid. Most situations where he smiled like this were either terrifying or amusing, depending on if you were his enemy or his friend.

"You think you can escape me that easy?" He said, his words carrying the same tone he'd use in the school hallways when someone would try to make a fool out of him. He shifted himself on the couch, leaning into your space. He was getting closer and closer. You could feel his breath on your lips.

Your heart started pounding, and your head filled with fear, excitement, and confusion. His face was so close to yours, and he was so close to your lips. You wanted to look away, but you couldn't. You were frozen in place.

"T-Todd, what—" You swallowed the lump in your throat. You didn't want to let your fear out, but you could feel it. You didn't understand.

He grinned, "How can I resist a challenge?"

He moved his lips to yours, gently placing them in your mouth. He pressed them lightly, sending electricity through your veins. You felt your body start to heat up as your mind went blank.

He slowly pulled away and stared at you.

"There," he said. "That's one thing I'm going to miss about you."

"Wh-What?" You breathed out.

Todd leaned in, "Your smile."

You stared at him, dumbfounded, as your brain tried to catch up. Your mind was going a million miles a minute, but nothing made sense. You looked down, avoiding his gaze.

He grabbed your chin with his fingers, pulling your face toward him. He stared deep into your eyes.

"You don't think I see you? That I don't notice you? I'm not stupid." He placed his hand on your cheek, "Well, not that much, anyway."

"Todd, I—"

"Hey, look, you don't have to say anything, alright? Just—" He smiled softly at you, "Just go back to smiling."

Your heart felt like it was about to burst from your chest, but for once, you were feeling something good. Not just something, you were feeling a lot of different emotions. It was overwhelming, but you were glad for it. It was the first time in years that you felt that way.

You placed your hand on his and looked into his eyes. You nodded, "Okay."

His eyes lit up, and he smiled even brighter, which you didn't think was possible. He pulled your hand to his mouth and kissed your palm, then held it tightly. "Wanna hear me absolutely demolish this killer riff I’ve been working on? It'll blow your mind."

He went off on a tangent, talking about the music he was writing and how amazing he was, and how you had no clue what he was talking about, but that didn't matter because he was happy, and so were you.

College might be hard, but as long as you had him, everything would be fine.

[dulcelovestoomuch]

Devildom's Idol // Obey Me Brothers x Idol!Reader Headcanons

As you stand on the stage, you realize after a long journey that you have made it. A mere human singing on a stage, surrounded by hundreds of demons singing along to your music.

It took time for them to recognize you, but no one could deny your voice or impact anymore. You sung your heart out on stage and that alone gave rise to the fanbase before you. You were truly an idol that transcended the realms.

The music blared and you raised your microphone to your mouth.

"Are you ready, Devildom?"

The crowd screamed and you smiled. You began singing, listening to the chants of fans and watching swirling light-sticks in the crowd. This was everything you ever wanted, but you didn't do it alone.

You glance to the person staring at you behind the stage, waiting for you to finish your last song. He had been with you every step of the way.

✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°

Lucifer

Definitely proud of you and having a famous partner is probably some type of ego boost to him.

Would be protective of you though, from fans and both the industry itself.

Not afraid to put any creepy idols or executives in their place.

Looking over contracts with your manager for sure.

You're just sitting there as they go back and forth on the prices to negotiate for.

Would be like a second manager to be honest.

Makes sure you eat and take care of yourself.

"MC, did you take a break, yet? You've been practicing since early morning." "Uh..."

Will pick you up and force you to sit down and rest.

He knows how hard your work to give your best performances.

You will have to do the same to him sometimes.

You both work too hard.

Mammon

Definitely would ask for like 10,000 grim whenever someone wanted a picture with you.

Partially out of jealously even if he denies it.

Would sell some random things of yours, nothing too personal, but a pen is definitely going missing when he can't fight the urge.

"Mammon?" "Yeah, MC?" "Where's my pen? "..."

He bolts every time.

Photoshoots together 100%

People would definitely realize you were together at some point.

There would be rumors and gossip, sometimes people talking bad about Mammon, but you didn't tolerate that at all.

He may not be perfect, but he was yours.

He secretly doesn't understand why someone as great as you is with him.

May or may not know some fan chants, but that's his business only.

Levi

Probably stans you

"I-I can't believe the idol MC hugged me???" "Levi... We've been dating for six months..."

Can't believe he's dating an idol

Is this an anime plot???

Posters of you in his room

Definitely fights to get merch of yours even though you could give him freebies

Would be jealous at other fans talking about you, but would then realize he's the only one that actually has you.

Still gets jealous though.

He tries his best to attend your concerts, sometimes he's overwhelmed, other times he's waving his light-stick and chanting in perfect harmony with the other fans.

You are both in awe and horrified at how perfect he does the fan chants.

Satan

Sometimes when he wants background noise while reading he'll put on your music.

Always manages to go to your concerts.

If anyone tries anything, they better be careful.

Once a demon tried to grab your hand and pull you close.

Satan got involved.

You prayed for that random demon.

Secretly feels like he has a one-up on Lucifer by dating you.

Not that it's the reason he's dating you, but it's a bonus.

Definitely would buy all the magazines that featured you in someway.

Front covers?? Interviews??? Boy has got it all.

He makes even the most dedicated fans look like fake fans with his collection.

"Satan, you don't have to buy every magazine I'm in," "I don't have to but I want to."

You wore cat ears a fan gave you once and it literally broke him.

Asmo

Selfies everyday, and I mean everyday.

Everyone in Devildom would be delusional if they didn't notice you were together

The most sought after demon and the most sought after idol??

Definitely lots of talk about you two.

You used to sing at his "Asmo Nights" but the crowd got too large at some point and Diavolo had to step in to prevent a hazard.

So, only sing at concerts please, for Diavolo and Barbatos' sake.

You find out that boy can sing and the Devildom is flipped upside down when you two release a duet.

However, even with all the attention, he would always make sure that you know he's loyal to you. He doesn't care about others or fans as much as he cares about you.

Your love is what he needs most.

"You know I love you the most, right? <3"

Beel

Feel like he would be proud of you, but in the end it wouldn't matter to him if you're famous

He just likes you for you

And your cooking

I can see him going to every event though, waving a light-stick in one hand while munching on something with the other.

Seeing how hard you work makes him hungry.

He would be protective of you though, not afraid to step in if a fan was getting too close.

Brings extra snacks into the practice room and tries his best not to eat them so that you can eat when you're done.

"MC, take a break," "I can't Beel, I still haven't got this step down," "Well, I brought your favorite," "..."

You try to say no, but your stomach growls and you end up beside him, munching together on your favorite snacks.

Belphie

Sings your songs while he's asleep.

You recorded him singing in his sleep. You watch the videos whenever you need to pick yourself up.

Tries his best to stay awake during your concerts, but if he can't, he'll find all the posts he can about it.

That way he can see if he missed anything.

Definitely makes it a goal to have you rest.

You are booked and busy, but you can't forget to sleep.

Admires how hard you practice.

But is possessive and hates when can't spend time with him.

Sleeps in the practice room as you learn new dances.

You wake him up when you're done and he just pulls you close and cuddles with you awhile.

"Belphie, I'm sweaty," "And?"

Eventually will let you go so you clean up.

✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°

Hope you enjoyed. I tried my best to make things accurate, I'm still new to writing the boys and Satan gave me the toughest time. This is my second work and my first time doing headcanons in the fandom, hopefully I can do more soon, and maybe make this one a series!

[eeveearoace-creative]

a speech about goncharov i made for my public speaking class!

note: this is not exactly what will be spoken for my class, as i am not reading my speech word-for-word. however, this is an outline of the speech i will be presenting, and i thought y'all might be interested in seeing it.

Introduction:

The purpose of my speech is to inform my audience of the fake movie “Goncharov” and how it has impacted me. My goal is to inform my audience of how the fake movie “Goncharov” came to be and of the value it has. 

By a quick show of hands, how many of you have seen or heard of Goncharov before? [Quick pause as I wait for no hands – or almost no hands – to go up.] Alright. So, Goncharov was a 1973 mafia movie supported by Martin Scorsese, and has been widely regarded as the greatest mafia movie of all time. It’s about the Russian mafia in Naples, Italy, and follows a variety of characters such as Goncharov himself, Katya, who is Goncharov’s wife, Audrei “The Banker” Daddano, and my personal favorite, Joseph “Ice Pick Joe” Morelli, with actors such as Robert De Niro, Cybill Shepherd, Harvey Keitel, and Lynda Carter. So, why have you never heard of this movie before? Well, everything I just told you? It’s all a lie. It’s all made up. Goncharov? Yeah. It never actually existed. 

I remember being part of the Goncharov fandom as it first blew up on Tumblr in late 2022. It was a great source of joy for me and made a significant impact on Tumblr’s culture. I am going to show my audience how Goncharov came to be, the creativity is spawned, and briefly reflect on how the website it originated on was vital for its growth. 

So, what is Goncharov, and what is going on here?

Origins:

Goncharov was a fake movie created by Tumblr in late 2022. 

Sometime prior to August 22nd, 2020, Tumblr user ZootyCoon posted a photograph of knockoff boots they had bought that advertised a non-existent movie, Goncharov, on them, claiming that Goncharov was “the greatest mafia movie of all time.” In response, on August 22nd, 2020, another Tumblr user, AbandonedAmbition, commented “This idiot hasn’t seen Goncharov”, which was then added to the post itself by Tumblr user LoserMo. 

While ZootyCoon’s original post did receive some attention, it wasn’t until November 18th, 2022 that Goncharov truly hit it off as a cultural phenomenon, thanks to Tumblr user Beelzeebub, who posted a fan-made poster for Goncharov, receiving almost 20,000 likes and over 15,000 reblogs in three days. 

Fandom:

As it turns out, you don't actually need a piece of media to be real in order for a fandom to form around it.

Countless fanworks were created for Goncharov, including fanart, fanfiction, music, scene analysis and analysis of motifs, gif sets, memes, and so much more. As mentioned in a YouTube video by YouTuber ColeyDoesThings, there was even a time where Goncharov had more fanfiction on a popular fanfiction website than James Cameran’s Avatar, the highest grossing movie of all time. 

So much lore was being created for Goncharov in such a short amount of time that efforts had to be made to record it all. Multiple individuals attempted to create a “master copy” of Goncharov’s lore, including what is now a 48-page Google doc that includes a plot summary, brief descriptions of various scenes, and links and sources to various contributors. 

But Goncharov could not be contained just to Tumblr. Various media outlets, such as The New York Times, The Guardian, Forbes, and The Washington Post all posted articles about Goncharov, an internet phenomenon. 

Tumblr:

But, why? Why this fake movie, and why on Tumblr of all places? 

As a social media site, Tumblr has an incredibly weird culture. There are no public follower counts, no verification for users, and a whole array of weird social rules. But one thing that really makes Tumblr special is the interaction between large and small blogs alike. Because anyone can and is encouraged to create their own content and add to others’ content, something like Goncharov could very quickly become a “yes, and” game among Tumblr’s users. 

Tumblr is also very much a “fandom” site. Fanart, fanfiction, and other fanworks dominate the website, and Goncharov in its heyday was no exception. Interactions between fans and fan creators is what really causes fandoms to grow and survive, so it makes sense that Goncharov thrived the way it did considering how easy it was to find fellow fans. With no pressure to reveal your “true” self, there’s a lot less pressure when you share what you’ve created. 

Conclusion:

So, what can we learn here?

The fake movie “Goncharov” was unintentionally created by a tag on a pair of off-brand boots but didn’t truly become popular until Beelzebub’s poster. Fandom quickly grew around it, creating countless fanworks, but Tumblr’s unique culture as a social media site is what truly allowed it to thrive. 

There is joy and creativity in unusual places. Whether or not you believe Goncharov to be a waste of time, the popularity of a fake movie says something about the human fascination with stories. Thank you. 

[cyborg-franky]

Hey, I love your stuff, and I hope you're talking care of yourself <3

Requests, how do you think the Stargate would raceway react to finding a stowaway on their ship after Usopp screams bloody murder seeing them hiding in the storage area?

And 2 how do you think Ace/Zoro would react realizing that reader avoids them when shirtless cause reader has a crush on Ace/Zoro and seeing them shirtless makes them blush?

I picked the second one! I only did Ace because I am getting used to getting back into reader stuff. I hope that is okay <3

and thank yooou and I am... I had water near me at some point haha. -sweating-

Oh boy, you really should get used to this because the man hates wearing clothes, even in winter he’ll be walking around tits out without a care in the world because that’s how he rolls, that and his power keeps him nice and warm.

He wore a shirt once, there’s a wanted poster of him wearing one, though it seems like a distant memory.

Ace is fond of you, definitely has a big fat crush on you, and doesn’t really click you feel the same way.

That and every time he comes to hang out with you, sit near you, or even just accidentally pop up in the same hallway together the way you act, the way you run from him, adverting your gaze because it’s hard to keep your chill around Ace when he’s on display.

You can’t help sneaking a look but it makes you incredibly flustered.

Ace takes it to heart and asks others what your deal is. 

Marco and Thatch know right away, both smirking at one another because they know you avoid Ace because you get too flustered around him.

Both do not hold back when they drop you in it, telling him just why you hide from him, why you look so awkward when he’s just doing his duties and being hot in your general vicinity.

That makes him grin ear to ear, even with the blush across his freckled cheeks.

With this new found power and knowledge he likes to tease you, flirts harder, and purposely flexes and postures when he knows you can see, as you try and look away.

“Like what you see?” He asks when he leans on the table as you eat your dinner, you can’t run, Marco is on the other side of you and won’t budge.

“I… I..” You go as red as the beads he wore around his neck. But he laughs, loudly and good-natured, smiling softly at you and you relax a little.

“I like you too,” Ace says, sighing and itching his cheek, all the fake confidence he had a moment gone as he really, really thinks it over, looks at you, his nerves starting to bubble up inside as you still haven’t answered.

“Who told you…” You heard a chuckle next to you Marco, you shit. You were going to hide eggs around his office for a week after this.

“So you do?” Ace pressed as he chewed the inside of his cheek. “Yeah, I do, I really do…”

The smile that broke out across his face warmed your heart and you felt yourself smiling to match.

“Just one thing though,” “Anything.” Ace leaned in closer like you were going to tell him a secret.

“Please wear a shirt sometimes, my heart can’t handle it.” You confessed, the blush on your face growing, burning the tips of your ears and he laughed a little, putting an arm around you. “I’ll see what I can do since it’s you.”

[svechnikovvv]

watermelon sugar

pairing: trevor zegras x fem!reader

warnings: profanity i think?

summary: trevor agrees to be your fake boyfriend to a wedding

a/n: my eyes are wanting to close, but i wanted to get this out there

series masterlist: here

breathe me in, breathe me out / baby you’re the end of june / getting washed away in you

you could be so stupid sometimes. what were you thinking telling your mom that you had a boyfriend to attend your cousin’s wedding with you? the closest thing you had to a boyfriend was the poster of henry cavill in your room. where were you going to even find someone in three weeks to accompany you? a lightbulb goes off and you grab your phone, holding it up to your ear and listening to the ringing.

“y/n?”

“trevor, hey. i need a favor”

trevor zegras. one of america’s most prized hockey players. and one of your closest friends. now, when trevor got the call that you needed a favor, he could only wonder what. you were independent and hardly asked for anything, so he couldn’t help but let his mind wander.

you’re engulfed in a hug when you open the door of your apartment for trevor. he breezes past you and takes a seat on your couch.

“so what’s this favor that couldn’t be asked over the phone?” you take a seat on the recliner adjacent to him and clasp your hands together.

“i need you to be my fake boyfriend.” his eyes slightly widen and he points to himself.

“me?” you nod “but why?” you let out a sigh and rest your head in your hands.

“my cousin is getting married and like a dumbass, i told my mother i had a boyfriend and, well.” you wave your hands around and he pieces it together.

“you don’t actually have a boyfriend and want me to be your fake boyfriend.” he finishes and you nod

“pretty much. look, i’ll pay you if i-” trevor cuts you off.

“i’ll do it.” his eyes meet yours and your surprised to say the least.

“you will?” he nods

“i don’t see why not. your family already knows me, so it’d be more believable. and don’t worry about paying me.” you let out a sigh of relief and get up, giving him another hug. he laughs and hugs you back, rubbing your back.

“thank you so much, trevor. i promise i’ll do whatever i can to make this up to you afterwards.” you pull apart from him and look at him with a smile and trevor knew right then that he was fucked.

see, he’s had a thing for you since jamie introduced the two of you to one another two years ago, and he’s been shoving his crush to the side. but you know what they say? what goes up must come down, and vice versa. and he knew the more he shoved it aside, the more it’d come to bite him in the ass later. what god did he piss off to be put in this position?

yeah, he was internally celebrating that he gets to be your boyfriend, fake or not, but you were the greatest thing to happen to him and he was afraid to let his feelings get the best of him.

“woah, z. i can practically see the gears turning in your head.” you softly laugh and place a hand on his shoulder. your expression then turns serious. “we just gotta sell it, okay? you were in an episode of mighty ducks, you know how to act. and i’ll be there with you every step of the way.” he nods

he knew he could sell it, being your fake boyfriend that is. he would be the best damn fake boyfriend there was. he was afraid he’d like the act too much. he liked to think that his feelings for you were like autopilot and he had no control over them.

“when’s the wedding? and what color is your dress?” you’re a bit taken back by his eagerness but that just eases your nerves.

“the wedding is three weeks away and my dress is a light blue. i figured sínce he’s getting married at the beach, the blue would be great.” trevor nods, making a mental note.

it was finally time for your cousin’s wedding and you felt really good about what was to come.

trevor parks his car somewhere and the two of you get out, him rounding the car to come to your side. he extends a hand to you and you give him a smile, exhaling and taking his hand in yours.

“everything’s gonna be okay. we got this.” trevor nudged your shoulder with his and you looked up at him to see him looking down at you. you nod and the two of you begin your walk to where everyone was. you take your seats and talk quietly amongst yourselves while you wait.

the wedding was beautiful and your cousin cried when his bride came down the aisle. you think you even saw trevor tear up a bit. reception time, your favorite part.

“god, these heels are killing my feet.” next thing you know, trevor’s scooping you up in his arms bridal style (sorry for the wedding jokes) and you let out a loud howl of laughter.

“trevor what are you doing?” he’s laughing and he looks down at you, smiling.

“carrying you because your feet hurt.” he says in a “duh” tone. he walks over to where the reception was being held since it was at the same place, and you rest your head on his chest.

“i could nap right now.” trevor laughs

“i’m glad someone’s comfortable.” you nod against his chest

“with you? always.” trevor hopes you can’t hear his heart rapidly beating. did you not know how big of a crush he had on you? because according to jamie, it was as clear as day.

he then gets to the little venue that was all decorated for the newlyweds and sets you back down on the ground. he takes your hand in his and the two of you walk through the doors.

“y/n! there you are!” your mother’s voice was the first thing you heard when you entered and you wanted to turn back around and go home already. trevor squeezes your hand and you remind yourself to thank him profusely later.

“mother, what a surprise.” she gives you a fake smile and gives you a hug.

“i can’t miss my nephew’s wedding.” she laughs in a mocking way. she then looks at trevor and then back at you.

“who’s this?” she eyes him up and down and you can sense trevor’s discomfort. you grab his hand and squeeze it, returning his favor from a few seconds ago.

“mother, this is my boyfriend trevor.” she gasps

“i didn’t think you were telling the truth when you said you had a date for the wedding.” she laughs and you feel embarrassed to say the least. trevor coughs and sticks out his hand.

“nice to meet you.” he gives her a fake smile that you’ve learned he uses when he doesn’t like someone.

“oh the pleasure’s all mine.” she shakes his hand and then excuses herself, without a doubt going to talk to your aunts. you exhale when she’s gone and trevor turns you to face him.

“hey, look at me.” when you do, he smiles. “there she is. don’t pay her any attention okay?” you nod and he pulls you into him, placing a kiss atop your head.

“now let’s go find our seats. you said something about those heels hurting?” you nod and trevor takes your hand, leading you to a table. trevor pulls out your chair for you, pushing you in slightly. however, he doesn’t take a seat, instead squatting on the ground.

“what’re you doing?” you ask and he pats his leg

“give me your foot.” you furrow your brows and do as told and he starts to undo the strap on your left heel, taking the shoe off. he does the same for the other heel and sets the shoes beside him, finally taking his seat.

“that better?” you give him a soft smile and nod and trevor swears he’s putty in your hands at your smile. the two of you converse as you wait for everyone to arrive. lucky you, your mom is seated at your table.

after everyone said their speeches and people she’s their tears, it was time for food.

“so, y/n, how did you manage to snag someone like trevor?” your mom asks and your face heats up. you feel tears prick at your eyes slightly and then trevor starts talking.

“i think what you mean is how did i manage to snag someone like y/n.” he gives another fake smile in her direction and she lets out a laugh.

“your daughter is an incredible person—woman at that—and everyday i feel like the luckiest man on earth for simply being with her. i don’t even know why she picked me. she has the beauty that would make any guy look in her direction, yet i’m the lucky one to call her mine. i don’t know what i’d do without her.” you felt like you were going to cry at his words. nobody has ever said anything that nice about you, or stood up to your mother for you.

suddenly, can’t help falling in love by elvis came on and you gasped, standing up.

“come dance with me.” you grab his hand and he takes it, smiling and joining you on the dance floor. trevor rests his hands on your waist and your arms wrap around his neck. your head rests on his chest as the two of you sway back and forth.

“thank you, by the way.” he hums

“for what?”

“what you said to my mom back there.”

“it’s true.” you’re a bit confused and look up at him.

“what do you mean it’s true?” it was now or never

“y/n, how do you not see it? i’m so in love with you. have been since the minute jamie introduced us.”

you’d always heard the bad sides of love. how it’s this anchor that weighs you down. that it’s some sort of burden that only holds you back from living your life. you’d been conditioned by your mother all your life to believe that.

what she didn’t tell you, though? love has good sides. love is the little things. it’s feeling like you can breathe again. it’s seeing them in things everywhere you go. it’s even as simple as them taking your heels off for you.

you cup trevor’s face in your hands and connect your lips together. he melts into the kiss and pulls you closer to him. when you both pull apart, you meet his eyes and he gives you a smile.

“if i died right now, i’d die a happy man.” you both laugh and you give him a peck on the lips.

you weren’t one to be vulnerable, but the truth? love is infectious and it’s great. it was like the end of june, when summer’s just getting started and you have all this adrenaline to do whatever comes to mind.

trevor was just that, for you. you don’t know if you could ever go without him.

tags: @goldenbrokenheart @liquidflyer @woodruff-edwards @hockeyboysarehot @ajbird2010 @hughesx3 @iheartzegras @theywantedplayer @k1ttyt3ar @jackhughesily @fratboyzegras @marauderzkinnie @babydollmarauders @akengii @livs-garden @nowandkei @starsandhughes @angzls @jhughesl0v3r

[nishimiyachan55]

My curse boyfriend

(chapter 3)

Pairing : Mahito(jujutsu kaisen)xreader

Chapter : 3/?

Other chapters : chapter 1 , 2

'a curse'

Opening the doorknob you entered your apartment. It was pitch dark inside. You hit the light button and gestured mahito to come inside. You closed the door and threw your bag on to the couch and took off your shoes and placed it on the shoe rack. 

"um....can you take off your shoes and put it here? Actually I don't like dirtying my floor...hehe" 

Corners of his mouth turned into a frown. but he decided to follow your order. After putting his shoes on the rack he started to wander around your house. Checking all the things you arranged in place, posters on your wall, your anime merchs, the way you arranged your closet and the picture frame with your best friend. Taking it in his hand he asked "who is this?"

"ah that's my best friend...."you replied to him while taking off your jewelries. 

"best friend! Does that mean she is someone special to you?" He asked out of curiosity 

"she could be annoying at sometimes but yeah she is very special to me" sitting on the chair in front of your mirror you turned your head towards his side and smiled at him.

He wasn't sure of this best friend thingy but he knew humans could make strong bonds with each other. He didn't want to question it more. instead his eyes searched for something else....Something else he was expecting to see but couldn't find in your room,

"Y/n, i thought you like to read a lot, but why there isn't any books in your room?"

His question made your jaw drop, embarrassment took over you as you search for an answer. 

"ah....i...! I usually read on my phone". Without thinking more you answered with a fake but confident smile. 

"hmm.... really! You can read on your phone!?" He hummed still not satisfied with your answer. 

"yes. Here see...." You opened a manga reader app in your phone and showed him the manga you were reading. That was the only thing you like to read. Books were always boring to you. So you never initiated to read them.

"i see.... you're into stuff like this huh....! but i like books more. Its more comforting than this electronic thingies" he smiled. 

You didn't want to push this conversation much further so you walked to your kitchen.He followed you putting his hands on his pocket. 

"so...what do you like to eat....? Don't worry, im not that bad at cooking" you giggled.

"hmm....eat huh! Anything you like" his face brightened with a smile, "I'll eat anything you cook for me Y/n". Actually he felt really happy. Questions like this were first for him. Even though he didn't need to eat he wanted to try things you could make for him. Maybe he will compliment your cooking even if he couldn't taste anything. 

"ah well then....just wait here, lemme change my clothes and I'll be right back" you walked to your room with a smiling face and locked the door. Walking towards the mirror you started unbuttoning your shirt. After doing the last button you raised your head to peer up at the mirror. A short breath came out from your mouth. He was standing right behind you! Your eyes widened as you turn to face him with a jerk.

"what!! Are you..." Before you could finish your sentence he pushed you back against the mirror. Your thighs hit the vanity table and losing balance you sat on it. You did lock the door right!! Then how did he came inside!!?

You stared at him blankly when he came closer, and he planted his hands on your thighs spreading your leg wide and placed your legs on his hips. Your back pinned on the mirror. Heart starting to beat fast as the feeling of fear started taking over you. You covered your chest pulling both sides of your unbuttoned shirt. He leaned forward and touched your hair slowly caressing it.

"i told you Y/n im gonna make our this date even better than last one" he held your chin up forcing you to look into his eyes "don't you wanna have fun with me....??" The look in his eye turned into a sharp glance.

 You weren't ready for this. You never expected a sudden move like this from him. It's not like you never wanted to do it with him, it's just you weren't ready at the moment. After all its only your second meeting.

"No...! Just get away from me" you tried to push him back pressing your hands on his chest. But he didn't even move a bit, you could tell he was too strong. His hand moved from your chin tracing down to your neck. a sharp noise of a knife like thing in your ear held your body still. Your eyes shifted to his hand on your neck. The sight of it made you tremble with fear. His hand shaped into a knife! and it was pressing against your throat. He can change the shape of his hand!!?? The pressure formed in your chest started to come up to the throat stopping right under where he held that knife. 

"No....! please" a whimper came out from your mouth. eyes filling with tears you begged for mercy. 

"you're not suppose to say NO to me Y/n, say Yes. Come on.... say it" he put a little more pressure on the knife almost wounding your skin. The look on his face made you shudder. It wasn't like the cute one you saw before, it was a terrifying one with that evil grin. 

Tears falling down to your cheek you said "Yes..."

"That's good, now stay like that. You're going to be a good toy for me Y/n.....Aren't you?" He looked at you with that evil grin again. Pressing his hand on your thigh he said "Say Yes". his tone was a commanding one. 

"Yes" another whimper escaped from your mouth.

 His grin grew wider as he started trailing his hands over your thigh sliding your skirt up. When his hand reached to your clothed slit, one thumb rubbed against the fabric. You squirmed from his touch and the sight of you wriggling send sparks of excitement to his abdomen. He continued it until he felt a wet sensation on his finger. His lips curved into a grin. 

"hm....you like this huh...!? What if i put my finger inside....will you squirm more for me...?" He leaned to your shoulder and whispered in your ear. Your legs squeezed his hips unconsciously. It was all the answer he needed from you. He put his hand inside and slowly started to slide his middle finger along your slit. His other hand still held that knife on your throat while the other started giving pleasure to you. A feeling of pleasure mixed with fear...  

"Mahito...! Please... stop...." You tried to fight back the warm feeling forming inside your core. But he never stopped he put another finger in and started to thrust in a fast and slow pace. You couldn't hold back the soft moan escaped from your mouth. He kept thrusting inside you pulling his fingers back and forth. The hands placed on his chest for pushing him away slowly tugged into his cloth but this time to pull him closer. 

The sight of you was absolute pleasure to him.... Your head under his knife, hands tugging on his clothes pulling him closer, your legs squeezing his hips and the moans made by your lips. 

You couldn't hold back yourself from almost about to cum. But that's when he pulled his hand out. You peered at him, your face turned into confusion and disappointment hit you. but still you try not to show it. He held his hand in front of you , fingers coated with your wet juices, with a smile he smeared it on your chest finally retrieving that knife from your throat. 

"that was too close... isn't it?" He smiled at you bringing back that innocence in his face like as if he didn't put a knife on your throat. At that time you thought he was done with you. But you were wrong. He was just starting.... Lowering himself down on his knees he sunk into the floor and he placed your legs on his shoulder. You couldn't stop your self from shivering when the feeling of shame hit your body. 

"calm down Y/n im not gonna hurt you. Don't be scared, im just trying to make our date a memorable one..." his sudden change in behavior made you a little calm but still not convincing to push back the fear he made before. He threatened you just before this and now he is trying to comfort you.

He leaned closer to your cunt, his hair swirled on your thighs, his cool breath tickled your lower half. Before you could react he pressed his tongue on your wet cloth. His saliva mixing with your wetness, he started to move his tongue upwards and downwards and in circles. You raised your hand to cover your mouth to block your self from moaning. But his hands grabbed on to your wrists holding it still. He gave a sharp glance up to you showing his disapproval and he licked the corner his lip. You closed your eyes and quickly turned your head to the other side. You bit your bottom lip trying to suppress the pleasure he gave you. 

The sound of his giggle made you open your eyes again and you tilted your head to look at him. He pulled his head back, glancing up to you and he gave you that innocent smile again.

It was hard to tell what he was thinking. Is he going to pull that knife on you again or is he gonna give more pleasure to you...you couldn't understand this guy, he is just unpredictable. 

He slowly started to slide down the cloth under your skirt. Your eyes widened and embarrassment rushed to your face. That's when you lost control of your self.  

"Just let me go you freak!!" Taking all Your strength you tried to pull your hands from his grip. twisting your body, you put one leg on his chest trying to push him away and with your other leg you kicked on his face. 

Luckily you were able to move yourself from his grip. You covered your exposed self with your skirt in a quick movement and curled your legs up on the vanity table. It was a sudden reflex of your brain from the feeling of pride. You never wanted to get raped by someone, even if you like the guy. 

Then you looked down at him. He didn't move a bit from there, he just stood still on his knees keeping his head tilted to the side from your kick. He never expected that. He thought you will never resist after he pulled a knife on you. 

The feeling of fear took your body,a cold feeling in your chest. You knew you messed up. Why did you do that! You could just stay there just taking the pleasure he provided you. Your damn pride wouldn't allow that. Now he is gonna be so mad at you. No! Maybe he's going to kill you. 

Tears flood down from your eyes, you were expecting to see his mad face when he tilted his head to face you. Instead you found a smiling cute face. He started to giggle, soon turned into a big laugh. Not an evil one, but a really cute and sweet laugh. He threw his head back closing his eyes and he pushed himself back from his knees to sit on the floor almost like a fall. He kept laughing so loudly like he was laughing at something really funny. 

Your face turned into a frown, confusion taking over you. Why is he laughing? Is it because he find it funny!! Or....is it because he is going to kill you!!?? You couldn't move your self from there. You just sit there, frozen.... 

After taking a deep breath he looked at you "you were better than I thought Y/n. I never thought you were this fun to play with" he slowly raised himself from the floor and placed his hands on the table pushing himself up against you. He leaned closer caging you under him. You curled your self under his chest expecting him to turn himself into a sharp object to kill you. 

"don't be scared Y/n, im not gonna hurt you...come here.." he hugged you tight wrapping his arms around you, like a hug of comfort. But you thought he is going to squeeze you hard and going to kill you by breaking your bones. But he didn't. He leaned back lifting you in his arms and walked towards the bed. 

He dropped you right into the pillows. You tried to get up in a flash but his hand held your head pushing you back. Your head sank into the pillows. When his hand retrieved from your face you glance up to him. What you saw before your eyes hitched your breath. 

He was removing his top. now you could see his big chest, toned muscles and his abs. He was more hotter than you thought. You couldn't blink your eyes from the sight of his body. At that point you decided you are not going to resist him no matter what he do. He looked to your face and gave a soft smile. 

How can someone be this hot and cute at the same time!! You never felt this feeling towards any other human males before. He wasn't a human after all. 

But, You skip a beat when you saw what's under his pants. It was so huge... your eyes widened on the sight. Heat rushed to your lower half as he leaned closer and crawled on top of you. His face right above yours staring into your eyes. You could hear your heartbeat in your ear. 

"don't try to resist this time Y/n....., last time i allowed it. don't expect me to do the same again...." It was a warning. His smiling face didn't hide that sharpness in his voice. 

You laid under him like a good toy when he removed the rest of your clothes. You didn't resist, you didn't dare.... Laying all exposed under him. He lifted your head and wrapped his hand behind your neck allowing you to rest your head on his hand. He trailed his tongue along the crook of your neck pulling you closer to him and nuzzled on the side of your neck. You closed your eyes and clung your teeth. When he pull back his head he looked down at you with a crooked smile.

His fingers wrapped on your wrist and he lifted your left hand along with it to his lips. He started kissing on each of your fingers one by one. At that moment you thought he was expressing his sweet love to you. 

When he kissed the tip of your left ring finger he pushed it inside his mouth and gave you a rough bite with his teeth. You couldn't stop the scream came from your mouth. It hurt so bad....and tears trailed down to your hair. When he pulled his mouth back leaving your finger, you could see his bite mark on your finger with blood, a mark that look exactly like a ring... a present of love from him...

"here....take it. Now this will tell...you belongs to me....Don't worry when it fades I'll make sure to give you another one Y/n. It stays on your finger, forever..."

No it wasn't a gift! It was a mark of his dominance over you. The only thing you could do was crying with pleasure and pain at the same time when he started thrusting into you with his cock. He was rough, his pace was too fast and it shook your whole body. You held your hand on the side of your tear soaked pillow squeezing it in your fist. You even lost the count of your orgasm, your brain couldn't handle this feeling Mahito gave you.

 You breathed heavily trying to pull your self together. But that didn't work when his thrusts hit harder on your inside. You thought you would break in half. You tilted your head to look at the clock beside your bed. What time is it? When did he start this? It's been at least two hours! Is it? Or maybe more than that!?

 He pressed his palm on your jaw and forced your head to look on his face. He was watching you all this time even when you closed your eyes. He was enjoying each and every second of his view in delight. The pain and pleasure he is causing you. Absorbing each minor expression you made for him....

He quickened his pace preparing to give you the final thrust. He knew you couldn't handle more at this point. At this rate if he continues this, maybe he will end up breaking you. He didn't want to break his new toy this soon. So even if he didn't wanted to but he decided to end this right now. 

Your hands moved to wrap on his shoulders when overstimulation hit your core. You hugged him tighter in your arms with shivering legs. one hand pulling fist full his lakeshore blue hair and with a loud moan you released your cum at the same time when his white ooze filled your inside. He gave a light soft moan in your ears along with it, squeezing you into his chest. 

He stayed on top of you like that for a couple of minutes, you both panting heavily. He could hear your heartbeat so louder. After a moment of silence a light laugh came from his mouth. He lifted his face from your neck and glanced into your eyes with that soft innocent smile. That mesmerizing eyes were something else right! The way it stares into yours always made your mind wanting to kiss him. But you didn't do that, instead you asked him with panting unsteady voice

"Mahito, wha..!!what.... are you...!!?"

He stroked on your hair with his fingers moving the strands of hair covering your forehead 

"A 'curse'...., a curse born from human hatred...."

[topguncortez]

First Time- N. Trace

pairing: Natasha 'Phoenix' Trace x female!pilot word count: 3k warnings: SMUT, fingering, oral sex (f receiving), fxf smut, Hangman (yes, he is his own warning) based on this request:

Note: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR OVER 500 HUNDRED FOLLOWERS:) I LOVE YOU:)

“Never?!” The loud sound of a beer bottle hitting the table had you cringing, as the boys at the table started snickering at your confession. Hangman’s jaw was slightly dropped at the revaluation and you wanted to hide under the table. 

The simple game of ‘Never Have I Ever’ went from the innocent topics of stealing a pack of gum to faking an orgasm. The second Rooster had a smirk on his face and said his confession, everyone groaned as they took a drink, except you. 

“You’ve never come from head?” Hangman asked again. 

“Never had it,” You mumbled, sipping your beer. 

“Never?!” Hangman said again and you rolled your eyes, “Even Bob has! Do you live under a rock? Oh my god… are you still a-?” 

“No, i'm not still a virgin,” You blushed. 

“But what about your last boyfriend?” Hangman asked, “The uh… the radar operator!” 

“Wasn’t ‘in to it’” 

“Oh you poor girl,” 

You rolled your eyes once again and threw a discarded poker chip at him. The game picked back up, but you couldn’t help but notice a certain pilot's gaze on you. You looked up at Phoenix and gave her a shy smile. She smiled back and then turned to respond to something Coyote said. It was no secret the tension between the two of you. You guys had hit it off from the jump, being the only two females here. You two had created an alliance the first night at the hard deck and it went on from there. You guys would spend nights after training together, watching stupid reality tv shows, or going to the gym, or getting drinks. There was constant flirting, and glances and touches that would drive the both of you crazy. 

You bit your lip and looked down at your now empty beer as Rooster asked the next question. You excused yourself from the group and walked to the kitchen to get something else to drink. Phoenix watched as you left and then got up to follow you, asking if anyone else wanted a drink. You looked over your shoulder as she placed some empty bottles in the sink before turning to lean against it and gave you a smile. 

“So. . . it’s true? You’ve never gotten head?” Phoenix asked, as you scanned the diminishing beer selection. 

“Yeah,” You said, “There’s like nothing in here, besides budweiser,” 

“I got a case of mic ultra back at my dorm,” Phoenix said, “Wanna make a run back?” 

“Sure,” You shrugged. She nodded and grabbed her jacket and keys. You both walked back into where the boys were now talking about some stupid basketball game, “We’re going on a beer run, be back in like 20.” 

“Oh! Get more crown please!” Fanboy yelled and you nodded. 

Once settled in Phoenix’s car, she looked over at you and asked again, “So you have seriously never gotten any oral sex?” 

“No,” You chuckled, “I just. . . it’s hard for me to even get off from sex in general. Usually I just fake it or the guy I'm with doesn't even pay enough attention to know if I’ve cum or not.” 

“Hangman was right, you poor girl,” Phoenix laughed and you shook your head. 

The ride was quick back to the dorms, as you followed Phoenix into her dorm room. It was small, just like the rest of them, but she did a good job of making it her own. As she went to go find the beer, you looked around the small living room she had. There were various band posters and pictures of her friends and family. You sat down on the small couch and let out a sigh. 

“Here,” she said and handed you a beer, “Looks like you need it.” 

You let out a laugh and cracked it open, taking a sip before leaning back in your spot, “Am I just broken? Like I like sex, I want to have sex, I just can’t like. . .” 

“Maybe it’s just not with the right person,” Phoenix said with a shrug. You looked over at her, your eyes going to her lips as she licked them before clearing her throat, “Sometimes men just don’t know what the hell they are doing and hate to admit it.” 

“Yes! Like let me help you!” You said making Phoenix laugh too, “I’m pretty sure I know what feels good and how to help you out. Just let me.” 

“I think it’s kinda hot. Ya know, when they ask and you tell them.” 

You nodded, feeling a sudden rush of heat between your thighs. You shifted in your spot, squeezing your thighs together, which didn’t go unnoticed by Phoenix. She moved in her spot and got a tad closer to you. 

“My favorite thing is when they look up at you and demand you to tell them what you want them to do. Where to touch them, or better yet, when you take their hand and direct them what to do.” 

“Y-yeah, that would be. . . nice,” You let out a nervous chuckle, “Another thing on my bucket list.” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Phoenix said, shaking her head, and moved away from you, “We should get going,” Phoenix went to stand up but you stopped her grabbing her wrist. You gave her a look and she sat back down on the couch closer to you than before. Her knee touched your thigh and you felt like your skin was burning. Your hand had slid from her wrist to being in her hand and you took a deep breath. 

“What does it feel like?” 

“Head?” 

“Orgasms, in general,” You asked, a deep blush on your cheeks. 

“Well, uh,” Phoenix said, clearing her throat, “Ya know when you drop on a rollercoaster?” You nodded, “It’s like that but so much better. It’s hard to explain. You get this feeling, kinda like you really need to pee,” She laughed, “But it’s the best feeling.” 

“Phoenix. . . can you-” You fumbled with her hand, “What do you do or have them do to get you there?” 

Phoenix smirked at your sudden nervous nature. You were quieter than most pilots but still not as shy and quiet as Bob. You were always confident, never shying away from a task or a dare. But to watch you have this uncertainty and curiosity in your eye was making a certain heat rise in Phoenix. She tested the waters, placing her hand on your thigh and felt the goosebumps rise on your skin. 

“Well, I usually start with kissing, make the connection ya know,” Phoenix said and you nodded a little too enthusiastically for your liking, “Start with lips, god some people just have the softest lips I have ever felt. I usually feel them up, feel their bodies,” She gently traced her fingers of your tan skin, moving them tantalizingly slow up and down your thigh, “and then move from their lips to their jaw, to their neck. Usually there is this spot,” She gently brushes your hair back from your neck, “Right here,” She tapped, “That just makes your toes curl and makes your squirm.” 

You sucked in a breath as the feeling in between your thighs grew. It was almost too much as you found yourself trying to move your hips for some type of friction. You had never been so turned on from just talking and simple touches. You didn’t even know it was possible. Phoenix bit her lip as she watched you move in your seat. You looked down at your hands in your lap, too embarrassed by your body’s reaction to look at her. 

“Y/N.” 

“Hm?” You answered, still not looking up. Phoenix grabbed your chin gently making you turn your head to look at her. Your eyes were wide with lust and she looked over your face and settled on your lips. Her thumb gently grazed your bottom lip, pulling it from between your teeth. 

“What do you feel?” 

“What?” 

“I know you feel something, you’re squirming in your seat,” Phoenix said looking down at your clenched shut thighs, “Tell me,” 

“Warm,” You said, and closed your eyes in embarrassment. Your mind was running with delay and you had to gather your thoughts before speaking, “I-I feel warm, like my body, and other. . . areas. I think I feel my-my. . . ya know wet?” 

“Yeah, that happens when you’re turned on,” Phoenix said, and went back to caressing your thigh. 

“It’s like a tingle, when I move a certain way it feels good.” 

“How about this?” Phoenix asked and moved to straddle you, “What do you feel now?” 

“You on top of me,” You said innocently, and she smirked, “But I feel more warmth and like. . . a pulse?” 

“Totally normal. I’m shocked, no one has made you feel like this?” 

“Not like this. I only feel like this when I watch uh. . .porn,” You mumbled the last of your sentence. Phoenix raised her eyebrow and bit her lip, “Maybe I can show you. . . sometime?” 

“I think I'd like that,” Phoenix sighed and then leaned in, grabbing your face in her hands. You closed your eyes as you felt her lips ghost over yours, before she finally kissed you. Her lips were soft, just as you had imagined.

Phoenix moved her hands from your face, to tangling in your hair, as yours went to her hips. She moved in a way, that one of her legs was in between yours and she was situated in between one of yours. She moved her lips, just like she said she does, from your lips to your jaw, placing kisses down to your neck. You let out a breathy moan as you felt your hips buck and the feeling of her strong thigh between your legs. You could feel her smile against your neck as you moved your hips again, letting out a louder moan at the feeling. 

“Oh fuck,” You let out as your felt Phoenix bite your neck, and threw your head back against her couch. 

“You like that?” 

“Yes, fuck, Nat,” You said, running your hands along her back. 

“Sit up,” Phoenix ordered you. You did as told and she lifted up your shirt, your nipples straining through your whtie sports bra. She gently ran her fingers over the erect nubs and watched as you withered at the feeling, “Anyone touch you here?” 

“No,” You whimpered, “I need- fuck,” You could feel yourself clench around nothing, as you moved again against her thigh. Natasha lifted up your sports bra, and you sat up so she could remove it. She leaned back in, kissing your neck a couple times before moving to kneel in between your legs. You whimpered at the loss of weight on your lap, but sucked in a breath as her tongue swirled around your right nipple. 

“Oh my god,” You bucked your hips up, “More, I need more,” 

“What do you feel?” Phoenix asked you, as her finger went to your nipple, rolling it between her thumb and pointer finger. 

“I can feel myself, clenching around nothing, fuck Nat, I need something,” You could feel your achy hole begging for some sort of penetration. Phoenix licked your nipple before taking the whole thing in her mouth and sucking on it. Your hand went to the back of her head, tangling in her hair and scratching at the base of her neck. She moved from your right breast, to your left one, her hand coming to pay attention to the now neglected side. She bit into the flesh and you pulled at her hair. She sucked gently on the upper part of breast, making sure to leave a mark only visible to the two of you. 

You felt her hands move up your thighs, before they dipped into the waistband of your shorts. She removed her mouth from your chest and looked up at you, and you nodded frantically. You lifted your hips enough so that she could slip your shorts down your leg. She threw them to the side and leaned in to place kisses on the inside of your thighs, occasionally biting and sucking marks into the soft flesh. 

“No shorts for a week,” You breathed out. 

“Nah, I want them to see,” Phoenix winked at you. She stopped right before the area you needed her the most. She bit her lip as she could see your glistening core through your sheer lace pink underwear. She ran her finger over the soaked covered area and watched as you withered in your spot. Even the slightest touch had you melting underneath her. Phoenix leaned in and placed a kiss right on your clothed clit and lurched forward at the feeling. 

“Jesus fuck,” You called out, “You haven’t even done anything and I’m already like this.” 

“Because babe, when the job is done right, you should be begging for more,” Phoenix said, and dragged her fingers up your hips to your underwear. 

She tossed them with your shorts, and wasted no time, spreading your open and licking a stripe from your core to your clit. Your moan echoed off the wall as your hand went to her hair, pulling her in closer. Her nose nudged your clit as her tongue licked a circle around your opening before diving in. She moaned at the taste of you on her tongue as she thrusted her tongue into you. 

“Natasha,” You whined, “More. I need. . . use your fingers, please.” Your brain somehow remembered what Phoenix had said earlier about being directed. Natasha looked up at you, and she wished she could take a picture of your fucked out look. She lifted her hand to your mouth, and you opened your mouth instinctively to suck on her fingers. Once they were wet with your saliva, she brought them down to your opening. She circled around it, and placed a kiss on your clit. You moved your hips, trying to get her to touch you. 

“So fucking needy,” Phoenix said, her voice lower and somehow in a mocking tone, “You’re never going to want to go back to men.” 

“Fucking touch me,” You begged and Natasha did as she was told. 

She pushed two fingers inside of you, and sucked your clit into her mouth. You knew you were a goner as she curled her fingers in you, hitting that sweet spot right at the top. She licked and sucked at your clit, making sure to pay attention to all the area around it. You couldn’t help but pull her face in closer and grind your hips. Not that Phoenix minded at all as she moaned at the feeling of you using her and chasing your own pleasure. It was quite a sight as she looked up at you, head thrown back, eyes screwed shut and gyrating your hips in such an obscene way. She could feel you clench around her fingers. 

“You close baby?” Phoenix asked, pulling away. 

“So-so close, oh my god, it feels-” 

“Like you have to pee?” 

“Yeah,” You breathlessly chuckled. 

“Just let go, I got you babe,” Phoenix said and went back to lapping at your clit. 

You feel your belly tighten and your toes curl and thighs try to close at the pleasure. Phoenix didn’t mind as your thighs tightened around her head, as you chased your orgasm. She watched as your body contracted, silent moans coming out of your parted pink lips as you let the wave of pleasure wash over you. Your body and brain somehow seemed to match up and you let out a scream of pleasure. Phoenix helped your ride out the pleasure, not stopping the curling motion of her fingers or the gentle suck on your clit. You laid your head back on the couch, feeling the aftershocks of your orgasm. You had to push Phoenix’s head away from you, feeling too much at once. 

Phoenix smirked as she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. Your chest was rising and falling rapidly as you opened your eyes to see looking up at you. She looked even more beautiful, her messy hair, swollen lips and lust filled eyes. You placed your hand on her head, patting her head gently. You both laughed at the movement, knowing that was all your brain could probably muster up to do. 

“That was. . . shit, you’re right. I’m never going back to men,” You said. 

Phoenix chuckled, “Told ya,” 

You bit your lip and moved to sit up a little more.  You leaned down and captured her lips with yours. You could taste yourself on her tongue, and for some weird reason, you liked it. You pulled away and Phoenix looked at you. 

“It's my turn for you to teach me.” 

— — — 

The next day, you and Phoenix walked into class together. Both of you are somewhat closer than ever before. The night was spent with exploring feelings both sexual and emotional. You guys hadn’t put a label on it yet, but there was an unspoken knowledge that you two were together. You sat in your normal seats, Phoenix next to Bob and you next to Hangman. But the second you sat down next to him, you wish you hadn’t. 

“Hey, Y/N,” Jake said with a smirk on his face that you so badly wanted to smack off of him, “How are you today?” 

“It’s 6 in the morning and I’m seeing your stupid face, how do you think I’m doing?” You snapped back. 

“Oh I’m guessing you’re great. I’m guessing you relieved some much needed tension last night,” Hangman gave you a look and you could feel the red creeping up on your face, “Did you sleep nice? Cause I didn’t. My next door neighbor was going at it all night. And whoever she was with. . . they were doing a good job.” 

You glanced over at Natasha who had a smirk on her face as Bob was looking back and forth from you, hangman and Natasha. When he figured it out, his eyebrows rose and his jaw dropped. He looked at Phoenix who rolled her eyes and hit his chest. He then held his first up to bump knuckles with his flight partner. 

“You’re just jealous that you haven’t made a girl scream like that,” You said and winked at Natasha. You grabbed your book and moved to the otherside of the room, taking a seat next to Rooster. 

“No, I’m pissed I didn’t get my beer!”

--- --- ---

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[captaincapsicle83]

Soldier Boy

Prolouge

TW: Sexism(?), cursing

Summary: Steve Rogers was scrawny and no match for the US army. Luckily, he meets someone else in a similar situation. The other soldiers consider them weaker, but they find themselves growing closer as friends.

But Steve's new friend seems to have a secret to hide.

(Have you ever watched Mulan? This is basically the plot of Mulan)

"Line up!" The man's voice called out through the crisp morning air like a foghorn.

The young men, striding tall and proud, stood in musty, battered army green uniforms. Each of their faces were stoic, eyes empty, prepared to be filled with the scars and horrors that were bound to fill them someday. That, or they would die.

Steve, a boy with thinning blonde hair and a chest full of spite, stood as tall as he could. Admittedly, for Steve, this wasn't very tall at all. The boy was a 1940's poster child for malnourishment. But Steve had heart. And heart was what he needed to get by.

A tall, mean-looking man stalked down the line, sneering in the faces of the men before him. The man, Officer James B. Pench, stopped, in front of a man two spaces down from Steve. The biggest man on the field, the size of a truck, stood between Steve and the guy Pench was in front of. The other man was just as small as Steve, maybe a little larger.

"What's your name Soldier?" Pench commanded at the other fun-sized man.

That man, the man was you. And you, truthfully, were no man. You had cut your hair, and you gave yourself a fake name, and you joined the military.

It wasn't hard to do. You didn't have any friends, not really, and you had grown up an orphan. You remember being moved quickly from home to home, so often you barely had time to meet people.

So, y/n disappeared and you became-

"Peter," You yelled out, deep from your gut. "Peter Parker sir!"

"Parker!" The Officer barked back. "You been working out sir?!"

"Sir, yes Sir!"

"Sure as hell don't look like it!" You kept your hand saluted, not wavering once. It wasn't the worst thing him, or anybody here for that matter, could say. In fact, the absolute worst thing that could happen here would be if somebody pulled down your large bulky combat pants, revealing your lack of manliness.

Like, Literally.

Combat was insane, and not what you as a little girl were taught to do. You weren't taught to do much, but mostly to sit and act like a "lady." You liked the feeling of a constant "go!" mindset and were especially fond of the brotherhood present in the army.

You had made one steady friend, possibly, the first one you can remember. His name was Steve.

"Where're you from?" He asked you one night. The two of you were lying on the roof of a building.

"Brooklyn," You lied, saying it so easily in such a monotone voice. God, you felt horrible. Even if Steve was your first friend, he really wasn't. He was "Parker's" first friend, sure, but that's because Parker only existed for about 4 months.

"So am I," shit.  "We should hang out sometime. Grab a drink."

"Are you even old enough to drink?" You laugh, making a stupid joke in hopes the conversation would drop. You didn't want him to find out...And even if you could hide it well enough to galavant around New York with him, you didn't know if you could lie to him that long.

"I'm sure Bucky would come to," Steve seems to ignore your joke, focused on his little dream. "Have you met Bucky?"

"Y-yeah. Kinda," You stuttered out the words, not looking over at his puppy dog face and little beady eyes that were always so full of hope.

You decided that night, that maybe it would've been better had you not ever joined the military. Not that you weren't of use, you were doing a pretty bang up job.

But lying to people, most prominently Steve, it broke your heart.

***

You wished the nazis would've blown you to bits in Germany. If they had, you would've had a much better time with the rest of your life.

You signed up for the first trip over, even after discussing with Steve the two of you would take the second.

Maybe he was mad, hurt a little, but imagine your surprise when you returned and "lil' Stevie" was labeled as Captain Fucking America, and was about the size of a truck.

And if you thought you were surprised, with your racing mind and many thoughts, imagine his. His when the truth came out.

Sorta.

You were standing at the desk of your superior officer, the same one who stood in front of you in a line of men, bigger and stronger than you, and told you, you were nothing.

The day you had been dreading, where the lies became too much and you knew you would have too... have to leave. To resign.

Have to come clean.

But for now, you hoped only leaving would be enough. Hopes you'd never have to see any of these men again.

The Officer was standing opposite of you, behind his desk. His wrinkled face was curled into something of a smile, as he extended his hand to you.

"Officer Parker," He spoke. "It has been my utmost pleasure having you apart of the service."

You clasped his hand, a similar grin on your face. When you drop it, he sighs, and comes around the front of the desk. He stands opposite of you for a moment, before opening his arms.

He pulls you into a tight hug, which you return gratefully. He leans his mouth closer to your ear, and his whisper sends chills down your spine.

"I know."

TO BE CONTINUED

[fdcreviewswithmark]

Guess who's back?

Hi, I'm Mark. Today I'm just looking at FakeDisorderCringe. Due to the blackout, a lot of cringe subreddits shut down, but FDC is still viewable. The posts are probably gonna be old, but who cares.

(Note: some posts will be skipped)

So, here we go.

1. Nonverbal person makes communication cards that are a little funny, so that means they're obviously faking! /sarc

2. Autistic person putting down self diagnosed autistics in the form of memes.

3. Asking questions isn't allowed, you can't question if you have a disorder- at least according to the post in question.

4. A minor-bodied (likely introject heavy) system has alters and in-system relationships. None of these prove they are faking. Some systems, especially with particular trauma and especially in the age of the internet, will find out they're a system easier and Introject more often. In-system relationships happen- big fucking whoop. I hate FDC sometimes... They also use the boundaries and triggers of some alters as "evidence" of being fake which is really shitty. If someone is uncomfortable with something, don't be an ass about it.

(not e from Adam: they screenshotted the system's rentries. Dunno, just makes me feel weird that they went through a whole system's rentries, taking pictures, and then highlighting random things that bother them.)

5. Stimming means you're faking in the eyes of random people on the internet.

6. Introject(?) of monster can in a newly discovered system that doesn't know systems don't need amnesia. Introjects can be basically anything so no idea how any of this proves they're faking.

7. Person with more than one disorder makes meme. Obviously people can't have more than one disorder! /s

8. System doesn't remember childhood. Gets fakeclaimed because, in the OP's words: "Can't remember every detail of my life, must be a system." Despite the OOP never saying that. Literally making up arguments to get angry at.

9. Another poster that doesn't know the definition of stimming... (Self stimulation.)

10. Saying random people have Munchausen's because..... *Checks notes* they self-diagnose.

11. An for autistic women event is inclusive towards self-diagnosed autistics and that's... Bad?

12. Neurodivergent person, likely a minor, in crutches makes a joke on TikTok. Gets posted.

(Note from Adam: It's weird they posted a minor, and it's also weird that they didn't know that physical issues are common in folks with neurodevelopmental disorders. For people who spend their time claiming people are fake on the internet, they sure don't do their research!)

13. Person with DID on TikTok. Probably a minor. That's... The reasons for fakeclaiming them.

14. Person with autism does something silly, means they're faking and are just a silly neurotypical. /s

15. Systems exist.

(Note from Jonah: fucking dying rn)

16. Self-diagnosed autists can mask. Shocker.

17. System makes meme about the parts of being a system that aren't necessarily pain and suffering. (EX: forgetting simple objects!)

(Note from multiple alters: Weird how FDC fakeclaims autists for being covert, and then fakeclaims people with CDDs for being overt- oh wait nevermind they fakeclaim both for being both overt and covert. They just can't decide, can they???)

18. Things are stims. FDC gets mad. Everyone knows the drill by now.

19. OP is mad that there's more systems. Maybe, just fucking maybe, it's because the disorder is getting more recognition and therefore more people can realize they have it, and the lessening of stigmatization encourages people to be open about it. The more you know!

(Note from multiple alters: I guess people can't recognize their own symptoms anymore! Fml. Literally- I guess that means we're faking? Yeah, guess we're faking since we saw our own systems and recognized what was going on. Well, more like we recognized our symptoms when compared to the diagnostic criteria? Still, guess we don't exist. I wonder what they'll say about people who recognize their own symptoms and then go get diagnosed with something! Are they faking too, now???)

20. A person recorded their faintng spell for educational purposes. They said themselves that they were getting a bit loopy but were conscious enough to recognize they were getting there.

Gonna end it here. Thanks to whoever read our whole post. Hope you enjoyed the combined idiocy of our system and that dreaded subreddit. Have a nice whatever.

[evilwizardcrab]

Assinging popular UK rollercoasters TMA fear entities.

Because sometimes your roller coaster autism and magnus archives autism combine into a secret, third thing.

Also, obviously most roller coasters are kind of inherently tied to vast/spiral, but for the sake of variety I'll only be assigning those entities when it happens to be really thematically relevant.

All clear? Good. Then in no particular order, let's begin.

1 .The Smiler (Alton Towers)

Figured I should start this out on what is quite possibly the UKs most iconic rollercoaster. At a whopping 14 inversions this Gerstlauer infinity coaster holds the world recor-

The spiral. It's the spiral. Yes, I know I literally just said I would be reserving spiral judgements for certain rollercoasters but just. Just look at this fucking thing:

This is quite possibly *the* most spiral aligned rollercoaster you could possibly make. In fact it might literally be the most spiral aligned rollercoaster ever, because with 14 inversions it literally is the most amount of spiraling you can physically do on a rollercoaster.

I mean, watch the goddamn TV Advert for this ride and tell me Fuckhands McMike didn't have a (yaoi) hand in the creation of this thing. Fuck Sanakov land I'm pretty sure the smiler singlehandedly counts as a failed spiral ritual.

It literally sends you insane! That's it, that's the theming! It's logo is a literal fucking spiral! Words themselves cannot get across how quintessentially Spiral this coaster is!!!! Even the FUCKING MUSIC is spirally!

It's even yellow.

So yeah, 10/10 spiral aligned coaster would ride again.

2. The Swarm (Thorpe Park)

From one heavily themed rollercoaster to another, let's take a trip down south to The Swarm, Thorpe Park. I'm going to be biased off the bat and say that the swarm is absolutely one of my faves (just look at that inverted drop!) not to mention the being only wing coaster in the UK.

That being said, despite my fanboying The Swarm was initially a hard one to place. My gut feeling was the Vast (mainly due to how it emulates the feeling of flying) or the corruption (literally called the swarm).

But then I took a step back,actually looked into the theming and lore itself, and it became clear. The Swarm is the Extinction through and through.

For those of you FREAKS no well aquiantted with Rollercoaster Lore, the story of swarm is as follows - an evil Swarm has destroyed humanity).

Thorpe Park even went as far as to put up fake posters around the park and release ARG Style adverts about it (and this song, because Merlin is nothing if not excessive when it comes to it's parks)

So with that in mind, swarm absolutely embodies the two main aspects of the extinction; both the active destruction of the apocolypse and the fear of something new replacing us (in this case presumeably sentiant rolercoasters)

3. Oblivion (Thorpe Park)

I'll keep this entry to roughly the same length as the ride itself.

You go in a Big Hole In The Ground

It's The Buried.

4. The Roller Coaster Formerly Known As The Pepsi Max Big One (Blackpool Pleasure Beach)

Finally, a coaster entry that isn't from a Merlin park. And being both the tallest and steepest rollercoaster in the world, let us introduce the pepsi max big one.

(off screeen whispers)

Wait what do you mean it's no longer the tallest rollercoaster in the world

(more whispers)

What do you mean, "or the steepest"

(even more whispers)

Wait, what do you mean it's not even the Pepsi Max Big One anymore? The Big One? really?

The Big One is an interesting case to me, in that despite technically being the tallest rollercoaster in the UK, there appears to be somewhat of a relative lack of discussion surrounding it. It's just ... there. Hell, while making this list I actually forgot it was the tallest rollercoaster in the UK. Not to mention the whole deal with its changing, corporate name. It just feels so Bizzare. Strange, even ...

That's right motherfuckers we got ourselves a Stranger rollercoaster! It perhaps isn't the most obvious choice, but I'll be damned if I hand over the tallest rollercoaster in the Uk to the Vast, that’s just boring. Plus, I personally find it quite thematically pertinent. Something about the idea of an object getting so subsumed by it’s corporate identity that when that is removed, it’s left with nothing. Something about staking a permanent identity on inherently shifting factors leading to a [redacted] Big One shaped void. 

If you want to, if you can imagine it was initially Vast before Fairchild enterprises took a hit and Nikola Orsinov swooped in to claim it. 

5) Stealth (Thorpe Park)

We've got ourselves our first pure Vast rollercoaster here folks! Coming in at a hot 5th place we have the 1st most fastest rollercoaster in the UK, that launches you 0-80 mph up 62 meters of pure steel baybe!!

And um.

It doesn't do much else.

But that simplicity is exactly what makes it so vast! The Vast wouldn't fuck around with complex things like "inversions" or "ride experience". It goes up. it goes down. If Simon Fairchild made a rollercoaster it would look like this. Take one look at this thing and tell me it doesn't embody the spirit of Mike "sought out the tallest ride at the carnival" Crew.

If the Spiral gets The Smiler as its quintessential rollercoaster, The Vast gets this.

6) Wickerman (Alton Towers)

Now, the Wickerman is another personal fave of mine, and (in my personal opinion) a key example of how amazing theming can elevate practically any rollercoaster. (To go on a tangent, I'd absolutely recommend riding this during the evening at fright night, if you can. The night serves an already great ride experience into something amazing)

Not only that, but the central theming of said rollercoaster centers around both a) Cults and B) Copious amounts of fire. So, in a manner clearly befitting its assigned entity, it doesn't exactly take an expert to put two and two together and get Ouch. That’s right, it's desolation. 

RIP Agnes Montague you would have loved this ride.

Scratch that maybe not considering how she seemingly felt about her cult. Let me change track.

RIP Gertrude Robinson you would have FUCKING LOVED this.

8) Nemesis (Alton Towers)

What, you thought I could make a UK coaster list without bringing up Nemesis? Surely not,I wouldn’t dare shaft  everyone's favorite (and currently unavailable!) B&M invert. Wait, what do you mean you don't want to hear about how it "holds up amazingly well over 30 years" and it's "Intensity rivals even that of modern coasters"?

Jokes aside, Nemesis was another hard one to place. Like Swarm, I had a very strong initial preference - this time for the slaughter, mainly due to the whole "trapped alien" deal it has going on.

But, once again like The Swarm, another look into the deeper RollerCoaster Lore (TM) revealed another core aspect of nemesis - this time, that of the Buried.

Specifically, the Lore of Nemesis centers around a mysterious alien entity (aptly named nemesis) found Buried deep underground, and having to promptly be pinned down with tons of steel (which also coincidentally, happend to be the exact shape of a rollercoaster). Hell, the lore even had a comic book made of it. 

Not only that, but the actual construction of Nemesis actively involved digging up the earth in order to create the space for it. And if that doesn't scream "buried" it's probably because you can’t hear it under all the layers of dirt. 

Honerable Mentions - Kiddy Coaster Edition

9. Flying Fish (Thorpe Park)

It's everones favourite Thorpe Park Kiddy coaster, Flying fish - a coaster with a title that is only 50% inaccurate.

In all seriousness I only chose this coaster because for some inexplicable reason I associate it with the Lonely. Specifically, Peter Lucas. No, I cannot justify this choice other than the fact that look at it and tell me you can't picture Lucas sitting on this, alone, going around and around. He doesn't move or make a sound. Just sits there. Silently .Having the time of his life.

 I like to imagine he buys out the entirety of the park for a day with the Lucas family fortune just so he can enjoy this one ride without having to see another human being (you wouldn't catch him dead in a theme park otherwise)

And this is probably as good a point as any to finish the list. Obviously there are way more UK rollercoasters you could assign fears to but these felt like some of the more interesting ones to explore. Anyway if you made it this far then damn. Well done, but also thanks for sharing in this incredibly niche magnus brainrot with me :)

[darkfictionjude]

Yes, Hello, My name is Elder Grant and I’m here to ask if you have time today to speak about our lord and savior Nia—

In all seriousness, I’m just here to pop in with some Nia love. Mostly because it was getting me thinking, I believe you said at some point that sometimes Nia is hard to love, and it’s just been kinda slow table turning like a microwave plate in my head and part of thinks it’s by design (of also hers, not just yours). And then another part of me thinks it’s a conclusion she’s come to herself. And part of me wonders if she’s selfish in love because she kind of knows what it’s like already to have all of someone’s attention, and for it to be real attention. Not, attention for this sort of façade that she built (still very much her, but a her for the masses, a her that won’t get stained with any of their messy fake ideas of her), but attention on the most transparent version of her she’s ever been willing to show. She’s literally mc’s only friend, and perhaps it wasn’t normal attention, or maybe it didn’t seem like it was total the way someone else’s attention felt. But she has to know that it was as total as total can get, when mc who can’t be paid to remember normal shit about their family or their lives, and regularly forgets things that happen to them and that they’ve done has this little mental notebook with her name on it, just living rent free in their head. It’s been a year, a hellish year, mc can’t tell you shit about what Percy gets up to, only that it’s “Percy stuff” but mc can still clock a lot of her behavior. But only as they understand it, maybe not as it really stands. Part of me thinks, it doesn’t so much make her hard to love because as much as she might have double standards about certain things, it feels like her main focus is that reciprocal balance of selfishness and love in a relationship. She wants all that she can get for herself, and she wants to be held on that pedestal as well for like an mc in a relationship. But in a way, doesn’t that kind of mean that she does the same with mc (don’t get me wrong, I’m hardly saying Nia is the poster child of equality)? Like, wanting this from this mc more than she does from anyone else, doesn’t that also kind of put mc on this pedestal? Like finding someone you finally think is worthy of you almost? And doesn’t it make sense too kind of? (And don’t we kind of see a bit of that if mc runs after her?) And what does it say about her strength of emotion and the regard she holds mc in, that she isn’t afraid of them (and she’s certainly seen some shit) when mc’s own dad is? Mc will never be her meaning in life (and they shouldn’t be) but if Nia believed in that weird soul mate shit even a little, their probably as close as anyone will get. A, “I breathe with you, rather than for or because of you.” And I find that more compelling.

Like it feels like most of the relationships she has, the ones that aren’t her choice, are dictated by what they can do for other people more than for herself. She’s routinely told/talked to about how amazing and better she is, and how it will benefit other people and get her the things she wants. She’s got like a direct value type of interpretation for herself. If her presence is going to be used for the benefit of others, why shouldn’t she take them for all they have? And why wouldn’t she feel this desire to hoard as much genuine feeling as she can get from someone she respects and wants to be around? She’s spoken to by her parents like a living investment, a living legacy of them, not even of herself. Who wouldn’t want to be a little selfish faced with that?

(Lo siento por el ensayo, pero no porque Nia es un tesoro. Bien hecho con este. Cuídate prima 💛)

Damn this was a whole character analysis essay. You should’ve started this off with “in this essay I will”

Yeah to me Nia is the most mysterious of the ROs. You don’t get much from her, only through the lens of how mc interprets her words and actions. I think it’s an interesting interpretation to think that Nia holds mc on a pedestal, it could be so. Or it could be that Nia can’t love unselfishly. She was never taught and doesn’t want to learn. Like a succubus she wants every last drop without giving much away herself. Some people might say that isn’t love but I believe that if you’re a person who can feel romantic love, then it’s coloured by your personality. Love isn’t only pure, if it were we’d all be the same.

Gracias por tanto amor a esta que es más helada que un témpano de hielo 💜

[filmnoirsbian]

can u give an example of the graphic porn being sold back to kids thing bc it confuses me do u mean like heinous rule 34 stuff

Yeah literally porn made of kids' media characters and then advertised not as porn but just as art/videos of those characters, which means it will be mostly kids clicking on it. I'm not anti porn and I think we can all agree the people making porn are not going to stop but at least fucking say "hey this is porn/not for kids/adult content". If I'm teaching my niece internet safety (among other things, what content is and is not appropriate for her) how exactly is she expected to recognize something isn't for her if it doesn't even acknowledge it's adult content? Kids stumble upon stuff all the time, that's not the creators' fault, and likewise sometimes kids sneak stuff they know they shouldn't be reading/watching, that's normal, but there is also a huge amount of adult content out there being peddled to kids either actively with malice or because these creators/posters are irresponsible. And that's not even getting into the other shit; it's not just porn. My niece loves to watch hamster maze videos--also mostly advertised towards kids bc kids are an easy audience to make money off of--and mostly those are fine so we felt comfortable letting her watch them. Only for, in the middle of one, it to turn into a fucked up fake snuff video. This kind of thing is done on purpose, and it is not uncommon. At this point what are our options? Youtubekids/parental controls only go so far. Her ability to self-monitor depends on the honesty and well-meaning of others. When she and her friends are trying to look up tutorials for a g rated kid sims game they shouldn't find only video compilations of those sim characters having sex, labeled "all ages" and titled "x game kawaii."