#yeah when I said I was down bad
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Gn, hopefully tumorou I’ll post actual art :) yeee get ittt
#yeah when I said I was down bad#i meant it.#yorichi type 0 be kinda……..#hear me out okay#taking care of him as a favor but if you look deep enough he is quite handsome#q very realistic reply of a handsome sun hashira#his extra arms are just a bonus…..#and now you’re trying not to get caught cuz they’re looking for the robot
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I think that Dr. Christina "I was an excellent soldier" Raynor needs to deal with some personal things before she's anyone's therapist, because she strong-armed more of Bucky's autonomy away from him than Zemo did within the series.
#yeah man make amends for the shit that happened when you didn't even have control over your own thoughts#so she was giving him a way to “fix things” but that wasn't on him to do so#all she did was doubly reinforce what he already thinks - which is a justified but false and guilt-laden perception - about the situation#idk much about therapy but i don't think that they're sposed to do that. correct me if i'm wrong and then i'll go fight all therapists#bucky barnes#tfaws#alpine#my art#thank you for putting up with my drawings of a comic book character and his asshole cat lol#i had to put my dog down recently in a bad way and i can't rightfully get another house dog with my current work schedule#so i got a cat since they can handle being inside for the day and the shelter lady said she's super antisocial towards other cats#she's super antisocial towards me sometimes too but she sleeps on me at night and my house has never been cleaner#now that i have to vacuum cat fur and mind what i leave lying on the counter#i've never liked cats before but she's special i guess idk ain't everyone's cat special lol#anyway i'll stop using my tumblr blog as a blog now lol
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father and son
#ted lasso#ted lasso fanart#henry lasso#remember when jason sudeikis said that ted lasso was a show about bad fathers and we all thought it was about ted's own father and how his#passing caused ted to become the kind person he currently is. and we thought that was the 'bad father' part of him. and then s3 rolls#around and it just hits you how his passing did cause that and More. how ted became so afraid to let down others. to let down henry by not#Winning The Whole Thing. but yeah in the end you just have to try#and sometimes i wonder if ted ever knew that he was a good father (etc etc that conversation with dr sharon in 2x10)#despite the distance and his divorce.. cherish the moment he had with his son instead of the time they spent away from each other#pn.art#SORRY THIS HAS BEEN ON MY MIND FOR THE PAST 3 HOURS ITS 5AM RN I KNOW I HAVE A SHITASS SCHEDULE </3#ted lasso spoilers#i have sooo much stuff i wanna say about this and i know ill forget to say it later but god. god i just want him to know hes enough soo bad#<- normal about fictional characters#babygirl you are so full of problems they rarely addressed. godbless#IM NOT MAKING SENSE I JUST LOVEEEEE HIMMMM :((((
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C'elen was shooketh
C'elen in bg3 story is a daughter of country side ex-noble family. so she's been pretty sheltered and taught how to be a lady. but when her parents went bankrupt, her father offed himself and her mother died of depression, she was left to fend for herself and lived alone for a while, learning how to use the axe to protect herself from wild animals or monsters. She lived beside a river and pretty much a tiny simple home, it was the only home left from her parent's riches.
So she haven't really met that much people nor mingle much and just bases off her knowledge from the romance novel books she read when she was younger, as well as her concept or romance and s-x from more adult oriented novels she read in secret and what her teachers taught her that such things was only to be done to the person you have been betrothed with.
#crezztellations#bg3#baldur's gate 3#astarion#idk what people call the player character in bg3#also celen is actually my ffxiv wol#so bg3 celen is considered more like her shard of sorts#yeah#since celen is a miqote#astarion gave me a shock as well#like#look i played this game because i saw astarion flirty youtube shorts and some of his lines was so cute and cheesy like he was down bad#for player character.#then i played the game#and the way he said he will see celen later when theres no more people around and everyone is asleep after this scene#im like#SIR YOU HAVENT EVEN BUILT THAT MUCH CHEMISTRY WITH CELEN YET WHAT ARE YOU ON#i just value chemistry with pairings is all#coming from jp otome games that focuses more on chemistry building.... yeah.#i was shooketh too.#after this scene and going to sleep i actually chose gale since his reputation points with celen is higher but hen nothing happened so i#loaded the save and chose astarion instead#i also kinda felt bad for giving him false hopes when i chose the option 'ill see you later' for celen#sorry for rambling in the tags
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Theory: The Clone X was not Cody like some people think or even Fives (I know he's been dead for a very long time but so was Boba Fett and look where we are. Plus, Echo was supposed to be certainly dead too; making him Winter Soldier-esque storyline wouldn't be that surprising) or not even Slick.
((Also, now that we've seen his face devoid of any tattoos or scars I think first two takes are definitely not applicable anymore; they wouldn't put that much effort to make him unrecognizable))
Back to the point: In my opinion, The Clone X was none other than...
Fox.
Now let me explain.
Who else, other than X, was loyal to the law and justice dictated by it over any moral or ethic code?
Fox.
Who else was portrayed with such single-minded focus on hunting down traitors of the government he served, regardless of what it was?
Fox.
Who else could know not only Coruscant so well but also identify Rex like they knew each other?
He already was a remarkably successful tracker of traitors, why not make him more efficient by pointing them out for him?
Good soldiers follow orders, after all.
#clone assassin#commander fox#star wars tbb#i know that hes got killed really early after Order in comics but i would honestly prefer him to die this way#the bad batch spoilers#tbb#cc 2224#commander cody#arc trooper fives#ct 5555#tcw slick#cc 1010#star wars#sw tbb#sw the bad batch#the bad batch season 3#tbb theory#we dont even know for sure how fox looks like cause in one moment we see corries without helmets all of them have standard paintjob#there are 3 clones behind fox when hes shown and then the one taking off his helmet stands beside 2 others so it may actualy be it???#my point is: outside of one page incomic that can be at any point made noncanon or recontextualized theres no evidence that it cant be him#they already retconed more important things. why not this?#and as rogue said in coments X is a 10 in roman numerals so...#i think its likely that in case im right we can assume that all named corries were made into CloneX#none of them appeared yet despite how much of action happens on coruscant#and only thorn died on screen; in a way preventing him from being viable option nonetheless#three hits point blank months before Order seem unlikely but theyve done weirder things so him returning wouldnt be THAT weird so uhh idk#but yeah cx-02 is tech#winter soldiering doesnt stop#i mean THIS could be fox/other corrie but it being tech is way too cliche oportunity to waste it on them (derogatory towards disney)#pls disney let corries hunt down traitors like they used to pls
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I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI.
#not dislike. its hate#it made me cry several times today#thinking of how my classmates manipulate our teachers#and chatgpt AIs can EVERYTHING#its so painful to think of it#today I broke down in the bus and cried#idc what people think. hiding my feelings any longer would destroy me from the inside#maybe youve also seen how people use freakin AIs in their exams#the thing is that:#we wrote an exam for which Ive studies for like 2 whole days#this week we finally got the exams back (w the grades ofc)#and ok Ive got a 3 (C in America syste#*m)#my friends who used chatgpt throughout the exam got way better grades (I didnt expect it otherwise)#PLUS#the most provocating messages from the teacher:#“10/10 POINTS :)” “YOURE ROCKING THIS” “YEAH”#💔#seriously#this breaks my heart#dont the teacher see something suspect in the exam?!#why cant they open their eyes and get modernized to reality.#& they KNOW- the students Im talking of. they usally have bad results.#once our teacher came to a chatgpt student and said the most miserable thing:#“youve been using duolingo a lot lately hm? thats where your nice grades come from 😉🥰”#you get it?#no- this peoson didnt learn.#no- this person isnt even interested in the stuff we learn in lessons#AWFUL feeling to hear the praisings of da teachers when *I* gotta sit among the gpt-students and look like Im a worse student than *them*#[writing this at almost 1 at night] still have some tears. this topic really has the power to destroy someones day. 💔💔
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how it started:
one ren peeing twaddle conversation later:
#ria.txt#💀💀💀#this isn't even including the 'blimey ren i'm worried for you'#me at the start of the stream: funny how ren calls him unlucky with the ladies when 70% of his fans are down bad for him#me in tears in the middle of the stream: with all respect i understand now.#false's chats are environmental storytelling#also the way she came back and was like 'what happened' and then the pee convo and she left 💀#and ren said he scared her away 💀#its so funny how it started out as like :) yeah i'll help you with vh. lets discuss british biscuits. whats a rusk.#and then: its vulnerable when i eat with someone. and then the pee convo#normal ren stream trajectory but its stillllllllll so fucking funny#false at the start 'don't leave me alone 🥺'#false at the end 'bye im never seeing you again'#false and doc next time they meet up with ren irl: 🧍🧍#nooooooo bc why did he have to talk abt All Of That with two ppl he met irl and has prob ate with#ren's mods are the real heroes of the story#AT LEAST THE RUSK DESCRIPTION WAS NORMAL.#fuck it. im tagging ren#rendog#the rd difference#pogsupremacy
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.
#this ibs flare is atrocious#i am not QUITE at the point of being set off by drinking water but i am in the neighborhood#and it sucks that doctors can do p much fuckall to stop them#and my type doesn't respond well to medication#not that most doctors are any good at treating it either#it's just fad diets and eat more fiber which yeah no if you don't even know how bad insoluble fiber is for us i think you need to pipe down#and lay off the fodmap thing it is discredited and even the guy who devised it said it doesn't work#and it's effective for some folks for reasons that overlap with but are not exclusively fodmap related#i've tried everything i have access to including bovine IgG and it has only made it bearable not better#i lost like 30 pounds when it started because I was literally eating only broth and bread and peeled potatoes#anyway no advice please#this just feels awful
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Just going to accept that I'm gonna have a permanent "Ugh, well fine, whatever" reaction to RFTA Edgeworth because honestly the direction they took for his character works in some ways I do find interesting, and does not work in others. And by others I mean please stop comforting and reassurring him and let there be weight to his actions here narratively.
#send post#c: Edgeworth#It's not that ''character did not do specific bad thing they were accused of and the focus is more on their enthusiastic#participation in a violent status quo rather than specific individual wrongs'' can't work. Like it does work in theory. And it especially#does w a lot of who Edgeworth is as a person and professionally being affected by him being a public figure and him taking care to try and#balance a moral compass and controlling his image and his own sense of justice; him being target to an especially nasty rumour mill and thi#contributing to his drastic complete disappearance from the public eye works and makes sense.#I just feel like there's something lost if every character is reacting to him like ''but you didn't know so it's fine!'' every time he beat#himself up regarding what he's participated in? Like sure ultimately the fact that he had to leave and work on himself and he came back a#new man is the narrative saying ''yeah there was something wrong going on here'' but it undermines the feeling of This is His Fault and He#Still Did Bad when he's the only one saying it. Then to the audience it feels more like exaggerated guilt and self-hatred rather than guilt#based on something Actual that he did wrong even if he wasn't the sole perpetrator; or even a willing one! Bc yadda yadda participating in#the system as it is without inclination towards change or moving against it makes its crimes your own.#Silver-lining is he really had the worst time of his life and I love watching him suffer (affectionate) so I had that at least#I definitely put my foot down when Lana said ''It was us who acted corruptly not you'' though like we were almost there... you almost had#it and then you said this at the eleventh hour and now I have to grumble about this lol
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made my mom cry but i got some serious bull shit off my chest oh well happy mothers day
#shes reading this conference talk where this guy says “trust is the basis of all relationships” and she says i dont think thats true bc how#can a mother trust her baby. how can a mother trust a toddler. how can a mother trust an adult child who has lied or turned their life away#from their parents.#and so i asked her do you not trust us kids?#abd she waffled but eventually she said Yesh. like i love you and i know i can trust you for some things but all of you have hurt me so.#and i said Yeah thats natural. i think complete trust is a superhuman quality i dont think i trust anyone 100%#qnd she says Okay so why dont you trust me. What have i ever done to you.#first of all. 😐 you dont want to hear it so dont ask that lol. 2nd you just told me you dont trust me and i didnt react so calm down.#but anyways i just said to her “youre dependable and i know you wont let me down when youve made a commitment to do something.#but i have emotions and thoughts that i do not trust you with.“#and we both started crying but i stood firm and i told her i love her but she just got up and left.#she loves starting convos like that but i do kind of feel bad for dropping thwt on her esp when she like. had to leave soon for an appt#but . i didnt say anything I didnt mean. and i was just responding to her.
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Told my boss that NO I cannot take over customer phone calls because my anxiety will literally not be able to take it. And I’m being SO brave about it,
#I say this as I’m sitting here shaking and on the verge of having an anxiety attack. AHA#Shima speaks#She called me yesterday morning and was like. Hey your coworker is drowning and I KNOW you hate phone calls#But she really needs help#And I was like. Yeah okay. Maybe I can do this.#Fast forward to last night. I’m in bed hyperventilating bc no I CANNOT do this#My mental health has already been Bad for the past few months bc I’m already working overtime for this job#And now to take on the One thing I generally get anxious about? Bro. It’s gonna kill me. 100% no exaggeration#So I called my boss this morning and was like hi I’m so sorry I said I would but I actually can’t. I deadass had an anxiety attack#just THINKING about it last night#And she was like omg no I get it. I have anxiety too I know what it’s like. It’s debilitating sometimes#So she said I didn’t have to do the phone calls and now I’m like YIPPEE#And she said hey that was a really brave thing to do. Speaking up like that and making it clear when you’re not comfortable with something#Me still shaking and holding back tears: Thank you I’m being SO brave about this rn#Anyway I’m still coming down from the near panic attack I had before I called her to tell her lmao#It’s been a rough 24 hours. I’m fine (lying)#I’ll BE fine now that I don’t have to talk to angry customers on the phone tho 🥰
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had the thought 'it might be interesting to also collect a cicada nymph before it can molt and keep it as a wet specimen' and then immediately the concept of a cicada quietly growing underground for thirteen years to finally, finally emerge into the world only to get killed and put in a jar before it ever has a chance to stretch its wings just because some idiot thought it'd be neat nearly made me cry
#'jay aren't you gonna eat them' yeah#it's different#the main reason I stopped collecting insects after DJ and I broke up is that I get Weird about it#it's a weird... like. so vulnerable species notwithstanding#one thing about bugs in an ecosystem is that they're highly abundant and-- on an individual basis-- disposable#they lay a zillion eggs because they're getting eaten (or just stepped on even) by every other goddamn thing alive#in general my sincere belief is that a hobbyist with an insect collection is literally fine#but on a PERSONAL level because I'm not A Scientist and I know my personal desire for an insect collection comes down to 'they're pretty'--#feels weird. feels bad! feels like a bad reason to kill something even if killing that specific thing isn't measurably harmful to do#same way I feel about people killing spiders when I JUST SAID I would take care of it#like... okay there are a zillion other grass spiders where that came from but YOU are still a dickhead for doing that for no reason#ANYWAY. I'm making a collection exception for magicicadas because 1) okay @me come on there's gonna be a zillion. it's literally fine#and 2) this double emergence feels like such a genuinely big deal to me! first one in ~200 years and there won't be another for ~200 more!!#if I can collect scientifically viable specemins it feels like... there's a point to that#beyond 'I saw a butterfly so pretty I just HAD to kill it 🥰' you know??#... this has all come a bit tangential to the post I guess lol but... just feels existentially cruel#lots of cicada nymphs are going to get stepped on or eaten before they can molt into adults and I know that but it still just.. makes me sa#they live SO LONG. they've waited SO LONG for this. aahhh...#about me#cicada quest
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this is also why i stopped using my tracked tag for a while tbh
#and i might do it again bc its just#a reminder that no one rly cares abt what i do / who i am etc#which might sound over dramatic idk how else to describe it tho its just hollow#it feels very much like a Chore and a Task and if i dont reblog things fast enough from my tag#people get very angry and/or upset with me even tho theres just#so much content and i have 0 time so everything gets queued no matter what#like this whole experience feels like a chore lmao#and it never ever used to#but now theres so much animosity if i dont behave / interact with things Properly#or whatever the make believe rules are idk#this dash can just be so negative like have we all truly descended into madness during this hiatus#bc like i get it ive been up and down and all around too but ive never been straight up MEAN to anyone in this community#and i never want to either so this entire situation thats been bubbling for months just feels like shit#bc what the fuck changed and how do we get back to where we were#i never ever ever ever felt this way before like idk the middle of last year#but ever since like last fall its just been idk. Bad#once again im sorry if ive ever done anything to upset anyone but my silence / absence doesnt mean i dont care#ive just been Incredibly busy due to some real life changes that are out of my control#i might not have energy to answer everything but i do Read everything and it does make me smile#and i save messages that are kind in my heart so i can be reminded of the root of what this blog is supposed to be#a space for something im very passionate about and previously had nowhere else to express said passion#so like idk if we all like the same things why does this weird feeling of competition linger over us lmao#why do all ccs have to fight???? each other???? when we all love and do the same things????#i have nothing against anyone personally but what i Do take issue with is the way that ive been doing this since 2021 and im fully just#ignored and shoved aside by so many people for reasons i fully dont know or understand#so yeah idk this is a novel i just woke up from a spontaneous nap bc im so exhausted i can only stay awake for 3 hours at a time#but yeah anyways idk !#be nice its so easy !#tbd
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Random limlife Scott rant, GO!
I got this ask and decided that I’d give it my best shot but got so mad on my skim through some of the moments I remembered that I gave up.
#Okay im half joking#I got angry enough for me to decide that writing a post without careful consideration would probably lead to an inaccurate little ramble#I need to like. actually sit down and watch limlife and do a full overall analysis#because the context for how scott acts each season is so important. a skim just wont do#The reason I dont have notes on him to share with the class already is because when it was coming out I was pretending that—#Scott grew as a person after 3l and I wanted to believe that so badly I started making stuff up about memory erasure and limlife being—#dubiously real so that I could look the other way when scott started being weird about jimmy again#I was like yeah they barely remember it thats why scotts being uncomfortably weird about jimmy this season#not because scott doesnt think about jimmy like a person and just wants to hear him say words that make him feel better about his—#rough relationship history#not because the idea of jimmy gaining independence from him makes him feel insecure or anything#sighs. sorry im just saying things. again its been a while since ive watched it so I need to actually. Yknow. Watch it before making posts#Its just crazy how he treats it like proving a point more than actually caring#“I mightve given you the 30 minutes last week if youd said love you” he wouldnt have. he was already leaving when he said it#he’s literally just trying to get him to feel bad about not saying it#pretty sure he kills jimmy in the same episode he lets jimmy kill him. Like. He doesnt really care like that#He just likes to pretend that he does. He is going through the motions of caring#Its like he needs to believe jimmy still needs him. in like a possessive way. Its really weird man#I will say though since I see this a lot: I dont think him singling out tango in the 30 seconds scene was intentional#because if im being honest. I dont think he sees the ranchers as anything serious#He assumes tango was just putting up with jimmy bc he had to. He doesnt think tango actually cares about jimmy#in his mind no one actually cares about jimmy. because if scott struggled to care about jimmy and Scott is known for being an amazing ally#that must mean everyone else struggles to care about jimmy. If that makes sense#rant over I think. tldr limlife scott analysis postponed until I get my life together enough to be able to sit down and watch forthree hour#bree barks so fucking loud#asks
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Here's some angst, because sometimes bodies just feel like a mess. plus a bad background xoxo
#NOTES ARE IN THE TAGS LOOK DOWN HERE I was too lazy to put them on the post#cause then I’d have to be coherent and why do that when I could just ramble wordvomit about it instead#ANYWAY... healing isnt linear!#especially since like. lmao he's not done being surgeried xoxo#turns out if a lot of your body is made up of tech. taking said tech out. may shut it down a bit...#anyway so yea that's whats happening.#waking up in the night bc his body is on fire bc sure yeah its healing but theres still screws and bolts in places that hurt.#and he didnt feel so bad before they pulled everything out because things held themselves in place...#but now everything is loose and things need to be replaced ASAP and thats just possible because the body needs time between#exerimental surgeries (who the hell has reversed this bad of techno union augmentation before?)#and...#and sometimes. sometimes fives lives in a world where it feels like he could lose echo again at any moment. and he's so scared#he almost lost everyone and everything and now... he has echo.#he has kix and jesse and tup and dogma... and he has echo.#YEAH okay#And. to make things clear: echo's skin tone IS based off photos of temuera morrison#when he had probably not seen much sun in a while.#AND the white patches are chemical-induced vitiligo (skin pigment cells died)#*BUT*#that being said. i clearly have room to grow in my art and if it's wrong to have portrayed him this way#please let me know.#thanks <3#saleucami au#arc trooper echo#arc trooper fives#star wars: the clone wars#star wars#my art#mimse art
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📓🕯️🐇🖤
#just a little diary dump:#i've contacted my school therapist again. asked for help regarding anxiety abt schoolwork since i dont get any other treatment#she said she can help me go thru if there are other options since neither psychiatric nor healthcare center will help me#+ she said that she and i can talk abt my anxiety regarding school etc. so in two weeks i'll see her#school starts next week. 4days a week rip... lol thats much for me. a bum. a cellar dweller. i've decided that im gnna go to all my classes#and always work while im there since its harder for me to do it at home. and i will also talk more w my teacher nd ask them for help#then im looking into an online therapy service. it miiight be possible for me to do that. but then i have to contact them and focus on only#1 or 2 issues. in my experience it just doesnt work to go to them and be like everythings bad :(( they wont help u then. i have to narrow it#down for them. nd i'll think i will talk 2 them abt my extreme feelings of loneliness and also my procrastination behavior#but yeah i have no idea if it's possibly bc idk if i can get financial aid for that service. im still in contact w the healthcare center so#i hope she will come to some sort of conclusion nd not just leave my high nd dry (she sent another referral to the persobality disorder -#clinic. even if they rejected the first one. so i'll see)#hmmm yeah. the situation w my sisters is sooooo rough. i hate it. they make me feel so so bad#and the housing situation is roughhhh. it's impossible to get an apartment lol.#so i need to find a way to shut it off and try to not let it bother me#just focus on finishing upper secondary school. nd i've been thinking abt taking out a loan for it and take german/french/spanish classes#instead of doing what im doing now when im actually poor and stressed bc they can choose to cut me off anytime#im meeting my highschool friend on tuesday. she asked if i wanted to hang out for a bit c:#im a bit anxious but like yeah.. it's nice to get out and talk to someone besides my family. which is just my mom lol#i messaged my other old highschool classmate on insta and said i saw her in my neighborhood#she replied but i had lowkeyyy hoped for more... like maybe being able to befriend her T-T but she didnt seem so interested in talking to me#which is ok ofc. it just made me a bit sad bc idk how to make friends and i thought she was rlly nice. but oh well#im rlly sad atm. maybe heartbreak prob. even more sad bc it was my stupid fault but yeah#im still grateful for all that it gave me. nd how i got to experience feelings of warmth nd love nd appreciation i didnt know i could feel#so even if im just contantly heavily sad bc i keep being like oh. i wanna ask this. say that. wonder what theyre up to. etc etc. i just have#to... be sad and just keep going forward#hope and try to not fuck everything else up. even if it feels like... what do all the other things matter when what i rlly rlly wanted got#ruined..... thats life tho. i know. im just so bad at handling life :((#i feel so broken and confused and i hate that i didnt get to be normal and healthy#im so illequipped at dealing w myself nd my emotions nd there seems to be no professional help for me
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