#you can be happy they're maybe together without making a fucking sex joke

[visgrapplinghooks]

friendlinghood: a proposal

skip to "terminology" if you don't want the long explanation

QPRs are really difficult to talk about because of the way the modern queer community has kinda framed it as like "dating but without romantic attraction"

when that's not entirely true

I mean, you COULD say that's a kind of QPR but it'd be a mistake to frame all of it that way. this is in large part to internet misinformation and shit as well as amatonormativity from which a lot of relationship discourse is framed against

queerplatonicism, from my pov refers to what is essentially the natural byproduct of queer and neurodivergent people having close friends

the queer community has been aware for a while that its members would have close friendships that in some way violated traditional social norms for behavior outside romantic relationships or family, etc.

when you sit outside the neurotypical and patriarchal norm, the conventional social understanding of what relationships are kinda breaks down for you

you display levels of closeness and intimacy and affection that are "inappropriate" for neurotypical and patriarchal society. in most cases they're not formal relationships, but natural evolutions of friendships between queer and neurodivergent folks

cishet people actually do have variants on this like the concept of "blood brothers" where two men who love each other basically make a pact to always have each other's backs and be their support and they do the whole movie thing where they mix blood to bind them together (it's a very cinematic thing, but the point is it exists in the popular consciousness)

"romance" and "friendship" each refer to a set of social norms and expectations. there's like a whole narrative constructed around those concepts and people internalize and have their own versions of them

a lot of people probably have friends they want to fuck or kiss or cuddle or declare their undying affection for but it'd just be "weird" within the social boundaries of acceptability and so people pigeonhole their relationships into either friend or romantic partner.

queerplatonicism (from my pov) is essentially accepting or practicing relationships which are neither platonic or romantic or even strictly familial. many queer people have them with other queer people they're close to. if you know queer folks then you probably know what I'm talking about - the friends they have that they're not dating but seem intensely attached and close to. they usually have weird names for each other that go beyond friendship like they'll jokingly call each other wives and husbands and siblings and partners... but it doesn't feel quite entirely joking. they'll express a lot of physical affection in the casual way you might typically ascribe to romantic partners. they'll prioritize time with those people as much as any romantic partner they may have etc.

straight and cis people and neurotypical people obviously experience them to some extent, it's just that patriarchy was built around cishet neurotypicals in particular, so it tends to cling to their mindsets more strongly, and once you're already outside of the "bounds of normalcy" by being queer, ND, etc. then it's a lot easier to feel like it's okay for you to be in relationships that aren't "normal".

because like the idea of loving someone with your entire fucking being... it's so tied up in these cultural ideas on how to behave about those feelings and it never made sense to me, because if you just let yourself feel those emotions you start to realize there are people in your life that maybe you love so much more than friends. but "more than friends" is so washed up in romance that you force those feelings down and think "this is fine, I'm happy with being just friends, what else can we be?"

maybe I don't want to have sex or hold hands on a ferris wheel or get. married or kiss or any of that. maybe I just want to exist in the same room as that person know that that person is in my life and know that person cares about me just as much as I do them.

terminology

I've started to use the term "friendling" in my day to day life, now. the term is a portmanteau of "friend" and "sibling" and "loveling" (the english cognate of the German word "lieblings" which can mean "favorite", but is also a term of endearment).

to me, it's probably the most accurate way to describe the Everything All At Once feelings that are simultaneously your weird friends that are your found family and also "romantic" but twisted beyond recognition where the term stops meaning anything.

I'm just throwing this word and explanation out there for anyone who feels like me and wants to use it too. not exclusive to queer people or neurodivergence or anything, I just think it's often easier to be cognisant of those feelings when you are queer and neurodivergent.

that being said, I do NOT want this to be folded into another "attraction label". this is, as far as I can tell, not a unique form of attraction but quite literally the opposite. it's an abstraction of the core impulses of attraction that ALL humans experience without the labels or social structures built around it. I do not want the language that I've spent so long trying to find for my experiences losing all of its value and being reapporpriated into the amatonormative, allonormative, and cisheteropatriarchal framework.

"friendlinghood" - is what I see as an attribute of relationships and the extent to which they deviate from socially conventional definitions of a relationship.

"friendlingship" - used grammatically like friendship. referring to any complex relationship acategorically.

"friendling" - used grammatically similar to friend. referring to those involved in any complex relationship acategorically.

all of this shit is nebulous and doesn't really mean anything beyond what meaning you choose to give it. I think any relationship can have some amount of friendlinghood and I don't think there's a clear line between friendlingship and friendship or romance or family, because it's not a type of relationship in the first place. it's just silly words I made that helped me.

language and labels

so the biggest problem with terminology like this is you can end up creating labels. my point was to create personal terms for myself and my relationships because that's what helped me personally process my own feelings.

that's not to say everyone needs or benefits from them. you can just vibe and do whatever you want and many people are happy with that.

I don't think words like this being codified and standardized really helps anyone. it's unavoidable that we as humans like articulating feelings, but the entire point of my interactions with friendlinghood is about certain things defying labels and language. language in this sense is just a tool, it's a hammer for a nail. it's not embodying the concept itself, it's just useful shorthand.

I will still freely refer to friendlings as close friends, best friends, found family, and other words. as long as I know the intention behind it is all that matters. I just needed that initial bit of language to articulate the feelings before the other words felt right to me.

[royjamierot]

PLEASE say more about your ace jamie thoughts that’s so interesting to me

i think you sent this ask yesterday anon but i finally have the chance to answer it and i got SO HAPPY about this because i have so many thoughts on this and me and @picture-me-in-the-trees are always talking about it.

first off, i think jamie being ace is such an interesting idea with solid reasoning (as solid as a headcanon can be?)

for one, after early s2 we really don't see him have sex like at all? and like for the way he's shown in s1 that's strange. in s1 keeley says the only thing she and jamie were good at was sex, and even the same night jamie and her break up jamie goes home with a different girl. in early season two he famously goes on lust conquers all but we see the way he talks about it. he was strategizing, he seemed to not even enjoy the thought of what happened on the show. right after lust conquers all he goes back to richmond, and we don't see him have sex for the rest of the show? ever? like not even really jokes about it? he's a hot young footballer but we don't hear like anything about his relationships or one night stands.

i think it's because they're just not happening.

if we think about the timeline here, it falls in line with the amount of influence his dad has over him. i bring this up because i think jamie's sexual relationships happen solely because he has been told he's been called "soft" and "not a real man" if he doesn't do these things. i think jamie is ace and the only reason he's ever had sex is because of a.) outside pressure from his father to fit into a certain image of a man and also because b.) jamie loves nonsexual intimacy and he is basically willing to do anything to gain that and to please his partners.

reasoning a.)

when jamie leaves manchester it's influenced by his dad right? and maybe he is all in his head about his dad and about the image he needs to be. maybe he's angry that he can't be what his dad wants. maybe he joins lust conquers all, desperate to prove himself as a man. if he can't be what his dad wants when he's a football player maybe he can at least feel like a man, at least maybe he can feel wanted.

well that doesn't work and he gets kicked off and he probably fucking hated the whole thing anyways.

so he goes back to richmond and his separation from his dad is probably the farthest it's been in years, so maybe for the first time he doesn't feel this need to put up this front and fit into the image of asshole footballer who always has a girl on his arm and who's seen kissing strangers in clubs. maybe he can let himself desire something besides sex. maybe he just stops having sex all together and he figures out what it is he actually wants without the influence of his father breathing down his neck.

if we think about jamie's first Amsterdam trip within the context of the ace headcanon it's not hard to imagine the trip was forced upon jamie to 'fix' him. he was told there was something wrong with him, and his dad told him he'd become a man. this would make him a man. i think jamie's sexuality and masculinity got tied together at a young age, i think it was something he had to unlearn.

im just saying jamie's return to richmond and then a sudden lack of any sexual relationships is so interesting to me,, like there's so much to think about. so much to say about jamie's masculinity and his relationship to his father and sex.

(btw anyone reading this and interested please go read my acejamie royjamie fic)

[borathae]

ok other ones,

Who is most likely to cook for their partner without the partner asking and be like here, you haven't eaten today

Which couple is most likely to kink it up once they figure out they are alone in the mansion

Which couple disappears for an entire day having sex

Which couple is in charge of the group when they're organizing things

Which couple is just happy to be there

Which couple is annoying and giggling and causing disruption when people are trying to be organized hahaha

Which couple hunts at times for a threesome (they're like hey babe wanna have a 3way tonight?)

Which couple gossips together a lot

Which couple have the most inside jokes

Which couple doesn't discuss what happens in their relationship with people around them (private)

which couple dresses up the most

Which couple makes everyone feel like theyre third wheeling them hahahahah

OOOH YESS LETS GOOO hehehe 👀💜

Who is most likely to cook for their partner without the partner asking and be like here, you haven't eaten today

Y O O N G I without a fucking doubt cooking is his love language, his way of life, his grandest confession of love

Which couple is most likely to kink it up once they figure out they are alone in the mansion

Yoongi with his loves <3 cause he can be loud <3

Which couple disappears for an entire day having sex

Taehyung & Jungkook JFJDSFJ

Which couple is in charge of the group when they're organizing things

Yoongi and OC without a doubt, they're definitely the unofficial leader of the coven

Which couple is just happy to be there

BAHAHA please <3 Tae & Kook <3 they can turn into two loveable himbos when they know someone else is in charge

Which couple is annoying and giggling and causing disruption when people are trying to be organized hahaha

Tae & Kook 100% when they're being childish but also sometimes OC can be like that when Yoongi tries to be organised bhhfadsh

Which couple hunts at times for a threesome (they're like hey babe wanna have a 3way tonight?)

hunts as in like asking strangers? mhhm maybe Kook & Tae otherwise it's a tie between Yoonkook & OC or Taekook & OC

Which couple gossips together a lot

Jimin & Tae omfg these two are such xoxo Gossip Boys when they're together

Which couple have the most inside jokes

Yoongi & OC <3 my beloveds <3

Which couple doesn't discuss what happens in their relationship with people around them (private)

YOONGI with like any of his loves oh lord and also Seokjin is very private about it (Emma wouldn't mind though)

which couple dresses up the most

as in like fancy clothing? Tae & OC 100% but dressing up for role plays? actually fjsadjf it's also them bahaha

Which couple makes everyone feel like theyre third wheeling them hahahahah

brooooooooo I feel like in a sense Yoongi & OC but not because they're being insanely lovey-dovey but simply because of their bond also Jimin constantly feels like he third-wheels any couple and he will make sassy remarks about it bahahah

[marsbar17]

Hi baby, I hope you don't mind me, and I also hope your requests aren't completely full. Based on the suggestion of the last post I had the brilliant idea of the fruity three, Valk/Loba/Bangalore hcs perchance :D

If that's alright with you my lovely <33

Everyone say hi again to my partner^

Anyways here are some Valkyrie x Loba x Bangalore headcannons, sorry it's shorter than a lot of my stuff I just didn't have anymore ideas jdbfjsk

CONTAINS: NSFW further down

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

《SFW》

• Honestly I don't see Valkyrie and Bangalore getting along romantically, this is probably more of a "Loba has two girlfriends" than a trio couple

• Loba has scary dog privilege, but she can also handle herself and doesn't really need them to protect her

• They do anyways though, walking behind her like body guards pfff

• Honestly both of them are so whipped for her and she loves it, getting to tell people that she has the Anita Williams wrapped around her finger is her favorite thing

• Loba could live the life of royalty if she wanted to, Valk and Bang would do anything she asked of them

• They go shopping too much, Loba makes them carry all the bags full of clothes and accessories

• If Loba pays too much attention to Valkyrie Bangalore will sit (and maybe pout a little) and huff at them

• If Loba pays too much attention to Bangalore Valkyrie will just whine about it and talk about how much better of a kisser and cuddle she is compared to Bangalore

• It's all playful joking banter though, they're happy how they are

• Movie nights are always better when you have a muscular butch on either side of you feeding you popcorn <3

《NSFW》

• This might be an unpopular opinion but Valkyrie bottoms, at least most of the time

• Bangalore is a top, Loba is a top-leaning switch, and Valkyrie is a bottom-leaning switch

• Bangalore and Valkyrie are sexually together, and sometimes they even fuck without Loba there, but that's slightly rarer

• I don't know how to describe positions when there's 3 people but double penetration and eating each other out/sucking each other off are some of their favorite things

• I feel like they aren't super kinky, they bring toys into their relationship (straps, vibrators, butt plugs, shit like that) but I don't think they'd be into bondage or anything really kinky

• Sometimes Loba will tie Valkyries hands together with a scarf or smth but that's it

• But that doesn't mean that they aren't rough with eachother

• Bangalore is a soldier what do you expect? Super loving soft sex? Nah, she overstims them for as long as she wants

• The aftercare is always one of them cuddling Valkyrie while the other cleans everyone up, and then they watch a movie or have a nice meal

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you for reading! Requests for your favorite ship or favorite characters are always welcome and appreciated!

[markcampbells]

fandom: applauds Troye Sivan for chewing out an interviewer who asked a lewd and inappropriate question about his sex life

also fandom: make the same lewd and inappropriate suggestions when speculating two out celebrities might be together

[iguana-braces]

Bradley Bradshaw NSFW Alphabet

Have I started writing smut again after 7 years solely because I saw Top Gun: Maverick yesterday?

YOU BET YOUR ASS I AM

Never thought I’d be thirsting over Miles Teller with a trash-stache, but I bestow upon you the NSFW alphabet for our boy, Bradley Bradshaw. Enjoy and remember to drink some water. It’s hot out there ;)

Not sure if this is just a one-shot thing, or if this is my big comeback to fanfic and shit, but uh.... if you’re interested in more, hit me up! Currently only open to writing for Rooster, maybe also Hangman and Mav and Goose and Ice and Phoenix and Bob and Payback and Fanboy. It depends how interested y’all are...

MINORS DNI, 18+

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

He just enjoys spending time with you, whatever you're doing afterwards, whether that's talking, showering, watching TV.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He definitely values his trash-stache. Not only is it reminiscent of his father's, but it's obviously part of what made you attracted to him so he's gotta keep it looking good.

On a partner, I wanna say he really likes their back/shoulders/waist, because those are so grabbable! He will constantly just touch you there, have his hands on your waist, put his arm around you, rub your back. They're just little touches but they're so important to him.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically)

Wholeheartedly believes that spitters are quitters :P

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Definitely might take some of your clothes with him on duty because they smell like you and uh... Might include them in his self-pleasure. Would never admit to it to anyone but you.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

I mean, we're not talking Kama Sutra levels of experience, but he's definitely been around the block, he knows how to treat a partner right

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Probably cowgirl, I definitely get that vibe from him. He'd want to watch you on top.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

He's goofy as fuck, I mean, that bar scene??? The beach scene??? He'll serenade you with the worst songs, and somehow you're still attracted to him. He'll wear his shades in bed, he'll crack jokes, but he'll also take it so so seriously when it counts.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Keeps it pretty well groomed for everyone's satisfaction

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

He loves being close, feeling your bodies against each other, holding onto each other for dear life. He'd want to kiss you, but that goddamn mustache tickles so much and also drips sweat everywhere 😬

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

When he has to be away for long, it's a necessary act. But when you're together, he much prefers the real thing as opposed to porn or videos of you. But if you're not in the mood, he won't pressure you and will settle for those alternative methods.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

I feel like he'd probably be into role play in a semi-serious way, like he'd be spouting all those bad, cliche porn lines about whatever scenario you're in, but that's part of the appeal for him. It's fun and sexy.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Anywhere where it wouldn't be incredibly weird to be caught, if that makes sense? He's fine with some risk, but he's not gonna be doing it in the grocery store parking lot in the middle of the day. But doing it at the beach? Hell yeah. A quickie in the bar bathroom? Hell yeah. On base? It depends if he thinks he can get away with it but if he can, then hell yeah.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Just having fun together, lighting up each other's lives. He's dealt with a lot of shit in life, who hasn't, and it's just so nice to be genuinely happy with someone. Those are the moments where he realizes, "Holy shit, I love them SO GODDAMN MUCH" and then ya know, he wants to show you how much he adores you.

It also drives him crazy when you wear his shirts around the house. Just his shirt, maybe underwear, that's it. He's not possessive, but it's just a weird little thing that makes him feel so good. You are walking around looking that fucking good, wearing his shirt, one he's had since god-knows-when.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Probably wouldn't be into hard dom/sub stuff or pain kinks. It's not a mindset he can get into.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

He definitely seems eager to please, he'd be happy to get on his knees to rock your world.

As for receiving, he's respectful of your physical limits but my god, would he love to be deepthroated. Clear your mind for a second and just imagine him saying, "Open up your throat for me, take it all the way, babe. There you go, that's it. Let me fuck that pretty little mouth."

I'm sorry, it had to be done.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

He's more focused and deliberate. As stated below, he doesn't always have a lot of time to get the deed done, so he's making sure that whatever he's doing can provide the most amount of satisfaction in the least amount of time.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He survives on quickies. Yes, it'd be nice to take your time and get the full experience, but life is busy! It's better to have those short get-togethers rather than waiting days or weeks on end for some actual free time.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

As I said with locations, he's fine with a certain amount of risk. But he'd be pretty open to experimenting, he might find something new he really likes and he wants to fulfill your needs and desires, of course.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

We watched this man do hundreds of push-ups, he can keep going for as long as you want him to. Not continuously, he'll probably break to chug water or to catch his breath while still slowly thrusting into you 😉

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

If he has a few, he'd probably use them more on his partner. Although, as said above, he'd be open to trying them out on himself. He just might need to work up to it.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He's more of a playful teaser, he's not 100% serious about it. But if you really want him to commit, he will, and he'll spend an hour just keeping you on the edge.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

I feel like he's definitely more of a quiet guy, but he will make little throaty, "Mmh" sounds when he's really into it. Most of the time he doesn't even realize he's doing it.

Can and will definitely talk dirty though. Isn’t always good at it though :/

I’m skipping W cuz it’s just a wild card :P

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

It's a good length, mid sized. He's a tall guy so it's not exactly a third leg, but remember... It's not the plane, it's the pilot 😜

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

He doesn't consider himself to be a horndog, he's a pretty chill guy, but he can definitely be a horndog at times. As in, just constantly touching you and pressing against you and you definitely know what he wants, even if he's not consciously aware of it yet.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

If he's particularly exhausted, he'll fall asleep mid-sentence. You go to the bathroom to freshen up, having a full conversation with him, and by the time you come back he's already in the middle of a REM cycle

[ultimateluckystudent-writes]

Stress Relief (AKA: Two bros, chilling on a twin bed)

No feet apart cuz they're making out

Summary: Komaeda's a nervous, stressed guy. You're his best bro. Surely it's within a bro's duties to help out out another bro when he's all pent-up. Surely a bro can use another bro's body, right bro?

Rating: Explicit

G/N!Reader, Sex Neutral Reader, No Pronouns for Reader, Second Person

Tags: Intercrural Sex, Island Mode!AU, Smut, Slight Fluff

Word Count: 2.4k

Read on AO3

Author's Note: What was supposed to be a one paged drabble turned into... not that. This is my most vanilla smut with Komaeda to date.

You were only fucking Komaeda because you were such good bros.

He was a perpetually stressed and scrawny guy. He was always kinda shaking, like one of those tiny, sad, hairless dogs. When he walked around, he rubbed his hands together nervously in a way that reminded you of a rat, with his shoulders hunched and gaze away from anyone else’s. He always looked so happy every time you sat down with him at dinner or came to hang out during the day. But besides you, you could tell Komaeda was having trouble getting along with anyone else, besides maybe Chiaki and occasionally Byakuya. He gave off weird vibes sometimes.

On a trip where everybody’s success depended on their ability to get along, you could tell it was weighing on him heavily. You didn’t know what made the words fall out of your mouth, but in a moment of recklessness and confidence in your ability to play anything off as a joke, you told him that he could always come and use you if he needed some stress relief. You didn’t think he’d be reckless enough to take you up on it. You assured him when he faltered at your cabin that this wouldn’t change your friendship. You knew you’d still wanna hang with him and his scrawny ass, his fluffy hair, his thin but inviting lips, his warm smile, his long, long fingers-

You assured yourself you had no ulterior motives but being a totally helpful bro when he walked into your cabin late one evening. He was blushing already. Though he hadn’t said anything, something about the energy in your conversation today made you sure you knew what he wanted tonight. You cocked your head and smirked at him as he took a seat on your bed.

“You look stressed, Komaeda-kun.” You finally said, after he seemed determined to make small talk until he could gather up his nerve. You knew you would have been waiting all night. He opened his mouth a bit but no noise came out. “I’m not an idiot. Take off your jacket, dumbass.” You laughed as he shook it off quickly, letting his prized possession fall to the floor carelessly. You watched him approach you with shaky hands. It would be way easier to just take the lead on this, right? Just because he was obviously inexperienced. Not because your own nerves would threaten to incapacitate you if you kept waiting on the edge of your seat.

You grabbed him by the collar and pulled him into a rough kiss. He squeaked, obviously not knowing what to do. You continued to kiss him, unbothered, and guided his hands onto you. He seemed to relax just a bit as you did that. For a moment, it was just you two kissing, in a moment softer than you felt like you could take. Despite his constant shivering, Komaeda was so warm. He smelled faintly of soap, but mostly of the intoxicating human scent of his skin. One of your hands was on his cheek, the other still bunched in the fabric of his shirt. You could hear your heart pounding in your ears.

You slipped your tongue into his mouth without anymore hesitation. He seemed to startle a bit, so you decided to be just a bit more gentle. You met his with tentative motions. With each moment he became more and more comfortable, until he let out the first moan in the back of his throat. He was beginning to forget himself, running his hands up and down your back and gently grabbing or stroking your hair. He was exploring, simply put. Everywhere he touched felt alight. It must have just been a while since you had done this. That’s all.

You pulled each other closer and closer until your arms were wrapped around each other, and you were both half on your knees to hold yourselves up. He was now moaning with abandon, breathing heavily, and each noise he made sent a thrill through you. You began to allow yourself your own noises, which only excited him more. Komaeda was a sloppy kisser, but you couldn’t help but find it really hot. He panted and there was probably more spit than strictly necessary, but dear God you could tell he wanted it with every move.

As you moved your hands around him, you finally began to rub his legs. You moved them back and forth, avoiding going too high, carefully waiting for any sign that he wanted to stop. Even though he’d come into your cabin, and you knew he picked up on what you meant when you’d offered this up, you still waited.

In the meantime, you attempted to make your way down his neck. Komaeda, clueless, attempted to follow you with his mouth, resulting in a couple of wet kisses to the corner of his mouth and cheek. You laughed softly and finally tilted his chin up with your hand.

“Dumbass.” You murmured by his neck, and then began to kiss the pale skin. He shuddered, and now the moans finally bloomed fully out of his mouth. He sounded indecent, way noisier than you expected from this. You almost wanted to tell him to shut up, but you just… couldn’t. You liked his moans. You wanted them. Your kisses became more and more open mouthed, and you began to suck harder with each one. You tested a soft bite. He reacted like a button had been pressed.

“Ah!” His back arched and his hands clenched around where they’d been by your back and hair. You couldn’t help but giggle at him, just a little. You gave him a couple more kisses before biting down much harder. His voice broke during the moan, turning it into a needy whimper. His hips moved, shook even. There it is. 

You brushed your hands further and further up his thighs, kissing and sucking and biting his neck as he squirmed under you. You hoped you left marks. No, wait, you hoped you didn’t leave marks, because then there would be questions, and everybody would think Nagito was taken, and he certainly wasn’t taken-

“Yes, yes, yes-” He hissed, as your thumb traced the line between his thigh and stomach, drawing nearer and nearer towards the bulge in his pants. You forgot what you were thinking about.

“Can I-”

“Yes, please!”

“You don’t even know what I was going to say!” You snorted, but he didn’t seem in the mind to reply. Smirking, you finally traced your fingers across his dick through his jeans. He yelped just a bit, thrusting into your hand at once. “Wow, you sure are desperate.” You purred. You took pity on him and fully palmed him. He spread his legs wantonly and leaned back against the bed on his elbows. His head tipped back and he continued to make his indecent noises. You knew you should speed this up, this had already taken longer than you expected. You hadn’t made out for that long since you were a virgin. A voice that eventually won out urged you to move on. “C’mon then, let’s get these off.” You tugged at his jeans. His head popped up and he seemed surprised.

“Really?” He looked half-gone. He blinked and shook his head, coming back to his senses. “Wait- are we- are we going to-”

“No!” You scoffed, but you couldn’t help but let the images of something other than what you had planned linger in your mind. “I told you- you’re… you’re welcome to use my body for stress relief. I’ll show you. Can I?” You looked at his pants again. He nodded eagerly. You undid them, feeling like you were fumbling more than you ought to. He finally helped you shimmy his pants and underwear down.

His cock was hard after all of that, and he looked up at you, still on his elbows, through his lashes. His face was flushed and he was still breathless. His shirt hung off of his shoulder and he waited patiently for you to continue. You, however, were frozen, mouth agape.

“I’m sorry,” He began to cover himself with his hands. “I’m-”

“No!” You exclaimed, much louder than you meant to. Even he seemed taken back. You cleared your throat. “No, no, I just-” You’re cute. I want you. I’ve wanted you for a while- “Let me take my pants off too.” You quickly got out of your bottoms, trying to ignore the pair of eyes you could feel on you heavily.

“Ah.” As he studied you, you knew he was looking at the clear signs that you were as aroused as he was. His hands twitched, like he very badly wanted to touch, but he didn’t. You moved to your bedside drawer and grabbed a bottle. You squirted some of its slippery contents onto your fingers and moved back to Komaeda.

“Here, we’re going to need this…” You murmured. He moaned again as your hand worked him up and down. You took longer than you needed to, enjoying the pretty picture in front of you. Finally, you managed to pull away. “I- I told you you could use me if you ever needed stress relief.” As you got onto your hands and knees, presenting yourself to him, you felt much more embarrassed than you’d like. “S- So you can use my thighs.” When there was a beat without him saying anything, you turned back to look at him. He looked gobsmacked, his eyes flicking everywhere, trying to draw in every detail about you right now. “Well, c’mon then!” You snapped, regaining your confidence at once. He jumped up and began to position himself behind you. You squeezed your legs together, and he placed his knees on either side of them.

“Are you sure this is-”

“Yes! Shut up and do it, alright?” You scowled back at him the best you could, but you wondered what kind of effect it had in this pose. He finally let a shaky breath out. He dragged his fingertips down your hips and ass. You shivered at the unexpectedly soft touch.

“Th- Thank you.” He said, and before you could react, he was lining himself up and pushing in between the soft flesh of your thighs. 

The flesh of his cock was hot- you could feel its heat radiating onto your sex, which he already brushed against with his first thrust. It slipped in easily with all the lube, and his hips pressed against yours. It was slow at first, making you confront every feeling that arose as he sat so close to you, pressed so intimately against your back.

“Is it… okay?” You whispered. You didn’t have it in you to be any louder. You could hear his breath behind you.

“Yes. Yes, absolutely. More than. I- I couldn’t-” He didn’t finish, instead beginning to thrust in and out, gaining more and more speed.

His hips hit against your ass, making a lewd sound, which you didn’t expect. You gripped the bedsheets in front of you, attempting to keep yourself still as his force drove you forward and back. One hand held himself up and the other gripped your hips tightly. A moan escaped your mouth as he continued to move, and between the sounds, and force, and the sheer thrill of having Komaeda behind you, using your thighs to get off, or maybe the thought that he so happily got himself off using just your thighs… You found yourself enjoying it almost as much as he did. It felt like Komaeda really was fucking you, and it was driving you crazy.

The bed was beginning to squeak in time with the two of you. You were both moaning. You resisted the urge to spread your legs, instead squeezing them together until they were shaking. You were both beginning to sweat, and the mixture of that and everything by your sex began to drip down between your legs. You could tell Komaeda was beginning to forget himself and his nervousness by the way his thrusts became quick, shallow, almost animalistic. He bowed himself over your back, his breath by your ear hot and humid. 

“Good?” You managed.

“Good, good.” He nodded, his voice a pathetic whimper. “Oh- close…” His nails dug into your skin. He straightened himself and his position, allowing you a second to regain yourself, before going back to his rough, fast pace. He had begun to rub against your sex each time. Your eyes rolled up into your head as you lifted your hips even higher, letting him hit the spot better. You took the opportunity to finally take a look at what was happening.The pretty pink head of his cock just peeked through to the other side as he buried it the best he could. 

Lust and pleasure ran through you. You cried out, your eyes closing with the force of it. Oh God I can’t fucking cum from this- But each slam threatened to as it pleased something deep within you. Despite all his other noises, Komaeda came with a relatively quiet groan, spilling himself down your legs, a bit splattering your stomach, as he rocked himself in and out just a bit as he finished. You bit your hand hard. Don’t cum, don’t cum, don’t cum- But when he was done, Komaeda leaned down onto you, his full weight finally on you, his moans in your ear, and his cum-slick cock right against you, and you couldn’t even tell Komaeda what he was doing to you in that moment before your voice rose higher and higher until all your muscles tensed one last time as you came. It was confusing and surprising to you both, and when it was done, your arms and legs gave out, making both you and Komaeda flop onto the bed with an ‘oof’.

He finally moved off of you, fixing you with a curious stare. You didn’t want to meet his eye, but you were too tired to deny him or yourself. You moved to kiss him gently. You brushed his hair behind his ear and finally pulled away. After all this planning, you didn’t know what to do now that you were done. Komaeda, however, nudged you with his elbow, that ever-present small smile on his lips.

“You know… you’re welcome to use me as well if you ever need to relieve some stress.”

[pettyprocrastination]

Werewolf Poly FighterPilot thoughts nobody asked for

Pairing: werewolf!benny x werewolf!frankie, the beginnings of werewolf!benny x werewolf!frankie x Vampire!reader

Authors note: Happy spooky season everybody! I’ve toyed around with some poly FighterPilot (Benny x frankie) thoughts before and what better time than halloween season to talked about it! In this werewolves can like “smell” a vampire if that makes sense. Like I feel like to werewolves everybody has their own “smell” that they smell and is like “ah! that’s (Name)” if that makes any sense? No? cool. This is just beginning off hcs mostly on frankie and benny and if there’s a demand maybe ill show yall’s relationship together <3 Not edits or beta-read, take it or leave it this is yalls dinner tonight. shitty monster thots from a shitty monster write smooch smooch 

people i think would enjoy: @thesadvampire​ @ficsilike-reblogged​ @mostly-megan​ @captainsamwlsn​ @luxurybeskar​ @djarin-junk​ @madhyanas​ @max--phillips​ @humanransome-note​ @fleetwoodmactshirt​ @dilf-vader​

Frankie is the calmer out of the two 

Don’t get me wrong, they're both thought out, smart men. They were special ops after all

But Benny is young and impulsive, there are moments where he acts on feelings and feelings alone without thinking of the outcome. “That boy is all heart and no brain.” is what his mother used to say when he was younger. 

Their relationship didn’t start until they got out of the military. Before it had been lingering eyes, and some palpable tensions when one of them laughs at a joke and an adrenaline filled physical contact after a close call. But they never spoke on it. 

They never said anything while Fish holds Benny’s head in his lap during a particularly bad shift, or the way he cards his fingers through his hair while mumbling “I got you Ben. You’re alright.”

It had been Benny who took the leap after their service together. Calling him up and asking if he wanted to get some dinner together. 

“will the guys be there?”

There was a pause. “no, it’ll just be you and me ‘fish, that alright?”

But even then, Catfish was a man of humility and to put it kindly, painfully oblivious. So he didn’t want to assume anything and be wrong. 

I mean for fucks sake, this is Will’s brother. These men were his family. His pack. He didn’t want to fuck that up. 

it wasn’t until the waitress finally set their plates, well done burgers, no onions on frankie’s and no lettuce on Benny’s, that he finally said something. 

“I like you, okay?” The words came so suddenly from the younger Miller that Frankie found himself listening to his heartbeat, that was running wildly in his chest. “I like you a lot, man. And maybe im crazy but I think you like me too.”

Frankie took a moment to simply stare at him. Wide eyed and shocked and fucking ecstatic. 

“If im wrong, then shit, im sorry ‘Fish. We can forget this whole thing happened and just go back to normal, alright? But I can’t go another day without saying something.”

He had never seen Benny so nervous before. His usually grin was replaced with a drawn in bottom lip, chewing anxiously and eyes that skittered around the room. 

“could you please say something?”

Frankie smiled and knocked his knee against Benny’s. 

“You’re cute when you ramble, Miller.”

Benny sat up straighter and scoffed. “Fuck you, man.”

The weren’t being secretive, technically. They just, hadn’t mentioned it to the others. 

But Will knew Catfish well, and he knew his brother even better. 

Which is why he told them both sternly, as his coach and his brother. “training rule stays the same, alright? No sex before a fight.” and that was that. 

A tradition had been made. For full moons and ruts, Benny would accompany Frankie to his cabin out in the woods. Far away from hikers or any nature junkie that would stumble upon it. 

“my grandfather made it.” he explained. “we’ve got uh, a long running generation of shifters in the family. He thought it’d be best for us to have a place to escape to, you know? Without worrying about hurting somebody.”

They’d spent the next few days in a haze. Fucking and chasing and hunting like animals together. Before they’d return back home with satisfied smiles and a myriad of marks on their skin to cover up before the others gave them shit for it.

Now they were in love. Committed to each other to the point where Frankie, damn his heart, had caught himself thinking about a potential wedding, far in the future. 

But that didn’t mean they were blind. Sure, they noticed other people from time to time. If Frankie saw a man with a bright smile and toned body, he would let his eyes linger. The same way Benny would grin as the waitress paid extra special attention to him while taking their orders. 

It’s natural, neither of them caused fights over it. Because at the end of the day they loved each other. 

But you, had thrown a wrench in those plans. 

The bar had been packed that night. Benny couldn’t figure out why just yet. There was no game on or long expected fight for patrons to bet on and drink themselves dead over. But they were still packed in like sardines, to the point that Frankie found himself hitting shoulders with five people as he went to get drinks for the table. 

He had finally waved down the bartender when you walked by. 

The interaction didn’t last longer then 7 seconds at the most. You had just been trying to make your way through the crowd. 

Hand softly laid on his chest with a mumbles “excuse me, sorry.” and a sympathetic smile thrown to him as you were pressed up against him before slipping between a couple and disappearing. 

He tried to remember what he was doing before, but all he did was watch your form blend into the crowd until he couldn’t see you. 

Bar. he was at the bar. What was he going to order?

He couldn’t remember, all he was focused on was the way your hands laid on his chest and the way you smelled, fuck you smelled amazing. Rich and smoky and intoxicating. 

He felt like it should have tripped some alarm. That there was a crimson red flag waving in front of his face that he couldn’t see cause he was too busy thinking about you and the way it lingered around him. 

“hey, buddy!” the bartender snapped him out of his stupor and he stopped himself from growling before he realizes just what was going on. “either order something or fuck off, its a busy night.”

When he came back to the table, nobody seemed to notice. They were all too sucked in to a story Pope was telling about his sister and her trip to Paris. 

It wasn’t until Benny wrapped an arm around his shoulder and leaned into Frankie’s space that he froze. 

“you know, if you stared at her ass any harder I might've gotten jealous.” He could hear the tease in his voice, there was no anger or resentment.

Frankie swallowed dryly. 

“she uh...she smelled funny.”

His boyfriends sharp laugh shook off the fog that clouded his head. Benny always had that affect on him. 

They both returned to the conversation at hand, but even Benny could smell the sweet aroma that curled around Francisco and found himself enamored with it. 

[cultofbeatles]

parts of pete shotton’s book “john lennon: in my life” that stood out to me

(this is semi long and contains book spoilers)

john and pete being the first people ever to get banned from their church 

pete saying john would always share any candy he had with everyone around, but that he would maybe give john one piece of candy 

they held a competition to see who could go the longest without swearing and they both spent so much time focusing on not swearing that they sat in silence 

tw blood/cutting: wanting to do a blood oath and cut their wrists to be “blood brothers” but john brought a dull knife that wouldn't cut so they pretended to do it 

being pyromaniacs (seriously)

john crawling out of all fours and groaning after being canned and making pete get canned even worse because he was laughing 

john being known to pee himself when laughing 

john daydreaming while he was riding his bike, crashing into a parked car, catapulted into the air, hurt his arm pretty bad, but his main concern was the damage to his bike 

they once had a serious fight where pete was about to step on john’s glasses but intentionally missed just to tease john 

persuading their classmates to wear white dog collars that they made in class 

eleven year old john making pete watch him orgasm 

pete and john having sex with their girlfriends in the same bed 

john going through great lengths to avoid dancing because he was horrible at it 

john and paul’s first introduction being awkward as they both just stood there 

pete asking paul if he’ll join the band: “a full minute passed while paul pretended to give the matter careful thought: “oh, all right.” he finally shrugged.”

mimi slamming the door in paul’s face whenever john wasn't there to stop her 

george just pushing himself into the band because he wanted to be there 

paul, george, and john wearing buckets on their head and marching around on paul’s roof to make fun of pete’s cadet graduation ceremony 

one night after julia’s death pete found john completely passed out drunk on a bus and found out that he had been on it for hours. he took him home and tucked him into bed. 

john saying that he wrote in my life with pete and stuart in mind 

cynthia scolding john for saying something outrageous and then john saying something even more outrageous 

the quote, “john bamboozled his new soulmate” in reference to making stuart use his art show money to buy a bass 

brian epstein asking if pete wanted to come back to his house for sex and pete turning him down but following with, “no offense taken. actually, i take it as a compliment!”

calling ringo a runt 

“what’s a fucking wank between friends anyways?” - pete shotton

brian having a reminder of “haircut for george” on his desk because he was in charge of their grooming needs 

john giving pete one of his big beatles paychecks so he had money for christmas

john asking pete “isn't he lovely?” when first meeting julian 

john screaming “hi pete!” at a show because he told the staff to let him know whenever pete arrived 

john hated to be touched and especially by strangers 

john wanted to open his book in his own write with a dedication to pete saying “to pete, who got it first.” but didn't want to hurt mimi’s feelings so he drew a caricature of pete at the beginning and that’s how he dedicated it to him secretly 

pete telling john he would never go to a interviewer and talk about john for money. (he only talked to two authors about john. hunter davies, who he asked john for permission for, and philip norman. who told pete that he was only writing a book about liverpool pop music)

cynthia and john getting in an argument because she wanted a porsche and john said they're too dangerous 

paul was the beatle that was the hardest to get close to 

george’s proudest possession was a painting by bob dylan and he had a guitar shaped pool 

“there never was, and probably never will be, a group more self contained or tightly knit than the beatles were in those days..”

john loved a good pun joke 

john loved hanging out with the monkees and micky dolenz was the craziest one 

“the only thing john hated more than going to bed at night was getting out of it the next day.” MOOD.

john would literally read every single page of the newspaper 

he once saw a tv program talking about autistic kids and donated 1,000 pounds to an autistic foundation 

john making a random guest give him their sgt pepper album so pete could get one 

the beatles almost showed up to brian’s memorial service in bright colorful clothes for “good vibes”

tw suicide: john was convinced brian committed suicide 

george telling pete he use to think he was a “bad influence” on john 

paul thought magical mystery tour was going to be a big masterpiece 

at beatles financial meetings: paul doodling, john high on lsd, ringo asleep in the corner, george actually paying attention 

bill turner (childhood friend of theirs) telling paul he didn't like hello, goodbye and paul being taken back by that

the beatles bought pete a car (jaguar to be specific)

john was very insecure around girls and never knew if they liked him or not 

john thinking his housekeeper would assume him and pete were having sex because they were laying next to each other 

pete was actually happy at first when john and yoko got together because john was happy 

any time john and pete would be laughing together yoko would silence John 

the beatles had to constantly tell ringo he was the best rock drummer in the world before he agreed to join the band again 

paul asking pete if hey jude or revolution should be on the A side, pete saying hey jude, and then paul immediately screaming to john that pete picked his song over john’s. 

there was so many arguments with yoko that would have to be another post itself but i will say it’s awful 

george running after the press in his backyard because he took a photo of him while the police chase george around to arrest him for possession of drugs 

“remember pete, they can't kill you for speaking your mind.” - john lennon

when pete found out about john’s death he went to visit george 

“on the drive back home, memories of john flooded into my head. what a life, i thought.” <3

[dystopiandramaqueen]

i'd love to read a meta on Nick and Beth's relationship in the show 😔

Let's take a look at Nick and Beth.

In "The Art and Making of The Handmaid's Tale", Max Minghella says:

"For example, Nick clearly has some sort of relationship with a Martha at Jezebel's, but it's not really delved into. You don't know exactly what the history of that is there, what the nature of that is, emotionally. I really love that, I love getting to leave some room for the audience to lean in a bit and bring in their own ideas."

Beth isn’t a character in Margaret Atwood's iconic book. She was added for the show.

So all we're left with is Max and Kristen's brief moments together on screen in 1x08, 1x09, and 3x03.

A few things are very clear.

They’re bad kids. Trouble makers. Rebels. Punks.

Trading illegal goods on the black market.

(Continued Under The Cut!)

They're friends.

Exchanging jokes. Doing eachother favors. Watching each other's backs. Connecting outside their Gilead roles.

Beth's confused when Nick uses a formal Gilead farewell (The Eyes thank you for your service). She asks if he's ok- more willing to believe he's joking than withdrawing from her.

They TRUST eachother.

Nick trusts Beth enough to be vulnerable around her. He lets his guard down enough to smile, joke, and ask questions that would him killed if he asked anyone else. She's his safe haven.

Nick Blaine doesn't trust anyone. This lets me know Beth must be trustworthy. Must have passed his tests. She's a good secret keeper. A good person.

The consequence of all of this honesty? Beth can see right through him. She knows him better than he knows himself. When he starts making stupid reckless decisions bc he's got a crush, she gives him good advice. Tough love. And he knows shes right because her trusts her.

He’s into her.

Nick wants to impress Beth. He listens when she talks. He knows that cooking is her biggest freedom, and how much she misses fresh herbs. He steals to give her a chance to cook with fresh herbs, the way she used to.

He likes the way her face lights up when she's happy.

He doesn't want to worry her. He eats and compliments her pasta even when his stomach is churning. Like an obedient, !good boi. Because he likes her and wants her to be happy.

I get a feeling this is a glimpse of pre-Gilead Nick. The kind of thoughtful boyfriend he would be in a normal world.

They're lovers.

Not new lovers, either.

How often? My gut feeling is they've hooked up several times over the past year, maybe once or twice a month. Waterford only takes each Handmaid to Jezebel's once during their year long posting, but you know his corrupt ass goes there at least once a month to blow off steam. Those would be official excuses for Nick to see Beth, but he might have snuck over a few times on his own as well.

Beth can ask him if he wants to fuck without saying a word. Consent is implied, because before tonight- this is all it would take for Beth to get a roll in the sheets with Nick. Showing him she's interested.

Beth isn't afraid of being seen by other Martha's, so their relationship was no secret in that kitchen. One night stands between staff must not be the most shocking behavior at Jezebel's.

Note how automatically his body responds to hers, his eyelids lowering, opening to let her closer, resting his hands on her hips effortlessly because touches like this are familiar and comfortable.

He's not resisting. It feels good. He's into it.

The script says that Beth was offering him a blow job there in the kitchen, which was their usual.

I think it's clear they've done more than oral. I think they go to her room to hook up. Nick doesn't sleep over. He gets dressed right after, smiles, thanks her, and it's over. Nothing more asked, nothing more given.

It's low risk sex, since Beth is infertile. No babies, no consequences.

Just fun. No strings attached.

She wants more than he does

I think Nick's poverty and family addictions forced him to put up walls early. He learned that everyone he loves dies or gets hurt. That's why he prefers to avoid attachments. They only lead to pain. I think he went into his relationship with Beth in that mindset, and he intentionally kept it at a distance.

June may not have been Nick's first lover, but she was his first LOVE.

We said above- Nick is honest with Beth. He doesn't lie to her. He respects her enough to break it off, even though it's a little awkward for both of them.

He breaks off his casual relationship with Beth because he'd met his soulmate. His lovemaking with June was so intimate and spiritual and life changing that he's already in love with June. And Love is sacred to Nick. Being with Beth after meeting the love of his life would feel like cheating on June.

He doesn't lead Beth on, which shows his DEEP RESPECT for her.

A #fuckboi would have let her blow him in the kitchen. Nick isn’t a #fuckboi. He's not into girls just for the sex. He only sleeps with people he can deeply connect with and yaknow, anyone Gilead forces him to fuck against his will my poor son it aint right.

When Nick goes to Lawrence's house in S3, Beth expresses disappointment that hes not there for her, clearly still carrying a torch for him. Nick doesn’t know what to say, so he says nothing.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

In conclusion:

I find it fascinating that Nick wasn’t able to find what he was looking for with Beth.

I find their arrangement very erotic. Friends with benefits, casual lovers with no strings. What does that look like?

What does it look like to surrender your body to someone but not your heart?

I love that fucking was no big deal for them, but commitment was over the line.

I will explore these dynamics in Indulgences- my vampire au prequel to @nickblaine's Nightshade that ill start posting once Nightshade is complete.

I'm also working on some cannonverse Nick x Beth scenes showing what I think their encounters at Jezebel's looked like.

Fic Recs: (click for links to A03)

Lemons by @volaremos has... *perfect* Nick x Beth platonic content. Gilead never existed AU with Beth written exactly as I see her in my head. Fucking love the characterization and content.

@benofie did a great fic called Nick's Bliss- discussing Nick with his previous girlfriends, and how he got so attuned to his lover’s bodies.

In my fic Six Feet Deep- Chapter 3 shows a brief encounter between Nick and Beth when he thinks June is gone forever.

Protection is my fic where Nick lets the Eyes interrogate him instead of Beth. No smut, just whump.

Mayday by @chappedlipsfingertips on A03 - I haven't read this one yet, I can't wait to.

Ghosts is my 10 year post Gilead AU fic with Beth the worried best friend helping Nick find love again.

Beth got done dirty in the show. I was so sorry to see her character die in cannon, but you will live on in fic.

RIP Rebel Queen.

Thank you @nickblaine for the lovely #kapblaine gifs and the ask that you knew I was born to answer.

[gunshou]

Tell us about your wips!

:D :D :D

🅢🅣🅤🅒🅚🅨 🅕🅘🅒🅢

The Third Who Walks Beside You (pre-WWII, whump, eventually explicit) ★ ꜱᴛᴀᴛᴜꜱ: part one complete ★ part one was written for the Stucky Exchange, but my outline for the story was so much more complex than I could write in the time I had, so I decided to make it a series. I intend to whump the living fuck out of Bucky because that's what I do. I want to explore him in a bad headspace in an unsupportive environment (except for Steve, of course) and the sheer terror he feels at being drafted, although he puts on a brave face. ★ ᴩʟᴏᴛ: Bucky and Steve are basically inseparable until Bucky receives his draft notice. Bucky's father disapproves of their relationship, and is a drunk who beats his son regularly. When Bucky's father commits suicide after losing his business, Bucky leans on Steve and their developing romance to try and maintain some equilibrium. Trying to financially support himself and his mother and sisters leaves Bucky few choices, and he takes on other means of earning cash. Eventually the draft letter arrives, and Bucky has to accept that he and Steve are unlikely to ever live the life they wanted together.

'Til Human Voices Wake Us (whump, tragedy, romance, probably sex, who knows?!) ★ ꜱᴛᴀᴛᴜꜱ: one scene and a more detailed outline ★ this one is going to be my magnum opus, my "Not Easily Conquered". I have plans for this sucker; we'll see if life allows them to come to fruition. Set post-TWS and ignoring CW and everything after. ★ ᴩʟᴏᴛ: As he sheds the Winter Soldier, Bucky Barnes has to redefine himself out of the surfacing memories of his past. In the meantime, Steve Rogers will never stop searching for him.

🅗🅣🅟 🅕🅘🅒🅢 Registered Logo (Explicit, Winterbones) ★ ꜱᴛᴀᴛᴜꜱ: two chapters done of maybe 5 or 7 planned. ★ Set post-TWS and ignoring CW and everything after it, this is a story about Bucky trying to reconnect with his body and accept his darker desires. Prompted by a discussion in the dumpster with my HYDRA trash-loving besties and heavily influenced by @astralhux and @subverbaldreams and their characterization of the Winterbones ship. ★ ᴩʟᴏᴛ: Bucky is having a really hard time adjusting to life without the struct orders he was used to in HYDRA. The serum and his time as a captive only intensified darker desires he always had, and he feels uncomfortable asking Steve to give him what he wants because Steve treats Bucky like a fragile thing, terrified that Bucky might shatter or run away if pushed. It takes them forever to work up to having sex again, and Bucky tries to hide his spiraling anxiety and restlessness. HYDRA tattooed their logo on Bucky's lower back, half as a sick joke and half to brand their property more permanently than the Soviet star on his arm. Additionally, STRIKE scarred words into Bucky in intimate places while trashing him. Bucky isn't happy with the tattoo, but the scars make him think of how Rumlow always took care of him. He craves the certanty of following Rumlow's orders and the praise Rumlow used to give him. Even the pain doled out had a certain clarifying effect, and Bucky wonders if it would calm his racing mind. He hides the scars and tattoo from Steve for as long as he can, but in a truly terrible headspace, he repeatedly flays his own flesh to try and remove the marks so Steve won't reject him. Steve eventually notices what's happening and realizes that he can't hold Bucky's mental health together single-handedly; they're no longer the same men they were and they aren't going to work as lovers anymore. Bucky finds his way back to Rumlow, who gives him everything he's been craving and takes care of his best weapon the way he always has.

untitled xch fic (Explicit) ★ ꜱᴛᴀᴛᴜꜱ: two scenes out of...idk six? ★ Written for our HTP dumpster exchange. It was supposed to be due last week but it's not cooperating. Neither is real life. *sadface* ★ ᴩʟᴏᴛ: under wraps until the reveal, but it's from Rollins point of view, which is new for me. Let's see how it goes.

untitled fic (Explicit, body horror, psychological horror) ★ ꜱᴛᴀᴛᴜꜱ: one scene and a sketchy outline ★ inspired by my non-marvel bff who may not be in this fandom, but has been my writing partner in FFXII for a decade and knows me so very well. She births the plots, I nurture and raise 'em. This is the darkest thing I've tried to write in a long, long time, and I'm stupidly excited to write it. The more stressed I get, the darker my fics get, and the holidays always stress me out so much I retreat into a world where I can brutalize the fictional men I love. ★ ᴩʟᴏᴛ: The metal arm was the last graft Soviet HYDRA tried. Before that, they attempted to graft ordinary human arms to Bucky, trying to see if the serum would spread and make the graft take. It never worked, but it didn't stop them from trying, and with each iteration, they sliced off a bit more for a clean attachment point. Wracked with pain and sepsis, Bucky begins to believe that the arms are Steve's, and that if he can't keep the arm alive Steve will die.

[addictofsupernatural]

The Road So Far (pt. 1)

Sweet Pea x reader

Summary: Y/n Winchester and her two older brothers go to the small town of Riverdale for a case. Y/n must enroll into Riverdale High to help the case, and meets one Sweet Pea on tbe way.

Riverdale + Supernatural crossover

Requested by: @sgarrett49

Author Note: So Tumblr cut me off from writing any more on this text, so it's going to be stretched out into a mini series.

Chapter 2

Word Count: 3402

"I just don't get why I have to go to school to hunt a werewolf."

Dean closed the trunk of the car. "Because, we heard from some of the people here that the teenagers basically run this town."

"Really?" You said. "Ugh, it's like we got a case inside of some crappy new age TV show." Sam laughed and Dean nodded. You all went inside of a motel next to some trailer homes.

The next day you took your stuff and went to school. Apparently a school got closed down due to some hazardous stuff, so there was only one in the town.

When you got to school, there was a small crowd of teens waiting for you. "Excuse me, are you Y/n Winchester?" You nodded. "Okay then. Hi, I'm Veronica Lodge, and welcome to Riverdale High."

"Lodge, as in Lodge Industries?" You asked. Her smiled faded a bit, then came back just as quickly.

"Yes, but whatever daddykins does with his business, I am not associated with."

You smiled and compressed your laughter. "Daddykins, huh?" She nodded. "That's a new one."

She let out a small laugh. "Well, this is Archie, my boyfriend."

He waved. Then another one spoke up. "I'm Betty, I'm one of the people who run the blue and gold newspaper. This is Jughead, he also runs the blue and gold."

"You guys solved some murders right?" Maybe they could help you with the case. The two of them nodded.

Then Jughead spoke up. "This is Fangs and Sweet Pea." They both nodded.

You look at Sweet Pea's tattoo. "What's that mean?" You put two fingers to your neck pulse, indicating the tattoo.

"It's a symbol for the Southside Serpents." Her said, looking down at you.

"That a gang?" You asked as a joke. When he nodded, you responded with, "Wait really?"

A person bursted through the doors. "Ignore the hoodlums. Don't pay any attention to the raggamuffins, they're only important in their greasy, Southside bar. Hi I'm Cheryl blossom. Maybe if you lose the flannel and band shirts I could consider you to be a River Vixen."

"So you're captain of the cheerleaders?" You asked, amused.

"Yup." She said, smug. "I basically run this school."

You bursted out laughing. "Okay, let me get this straight. There's turfs, gangs, murders, and, no offence Ronnie, a mobster in this town?" They all agreed. "And yet, for some reason, cheerleaders and football players are still important? And the head bitch in charge is a ginger?"

You had began to laugh again. "Aw, this is a bad new aged TV show, isn't it?" Jughead snorted.

"You you have a problem with my hair color?" She looked pissed.

"Of course not, gingy #2, I think gingy #1 seems like a nice guy. Look, minus Carrie White over here, you all seem like pretty cool people, but unfortunately I won't have the pleasure of getting to know you. My brothers and I will probably be gone in a week or two. So where do I go to get my schedule?"

"Um, I have it right here." Veronica said. You were going to grab it, but she took it away. "But, we have been asked by principal Weatherbee to make you feel at home."

"No, you and Betty were and you two dragged us into it." Jughead said.

"Well, either way, I want to become friends with you, even if you will only bless us with your presence for a short amount of time."

You looked at her, amused. "Okay then."

She beamed her smile. "Alright, well you have a class with each one of us, and also four classes with Sweet Pea, so we will be with you for the whole day."

Sweet Pea had been watching the entertainment you had been giving this whole time. Who was this girl? One of the first people who didn't care about the social status in Riverdale.

The bell rang. "Alrighty then. You ready Sweets?" You asked. He was taken aback by the nickname. You did the same with Veronica earlier. Was that just a thing you did?

"Uh, yeah, let's go."

As you walked down the hallways, you see signed about some Red Circle group. You grabbed one off the wall. "The Red Circle? What is that?"

"The bulldogs made a group to terrorize the Southside. Trying to clean up the streets and protect their people."

"Really?" You giggled, confusing him. "What kind of piss poor excuse is that? They want to pretend that their in a gang so they can sound cooler than just being a group of sex deprived football players."

He laughed. He was so intrueged by you. You said what was on your mind, and your logic was that of an outside perspective. You were funny and adorable, and came with an I don't give a fuck attitude.

You walked into class together. The teacher told you to sit next to Sweet Pea, who sat in the far back, since you seemed to get along with him. As you walked to your seat, a guy said, "Careful sweetheart. I wouldn't get too close with the snake boy. He's not like us."

You stopped, looking at the letterman jacket he wore. You then held up the red circle sign. "You in this?"

"You know it. The name's Reggie Mantle."

"Wow!" You said in a fake overly happy voice. "You know, when I first walked through those doors I thought you were a douchebag, but I was totally wrong. You're a wanna be ghetto ass douchebag!"

You crumpled up the paper and threw it at him, continuing to walk. Everybody gasped and Sweet Pea smiled excitedly, nodding in his seat.

You silently laughed at him. "Woah."

"What?" Sweet Pea asked, still smiling.

"You look adorable when you're happy." You turned back to the front, missing the smile slide off his face as he stared at you.

As classes went by, you both enjoyed each other's company. Turns out that in every class Sweet Pea is in the back because the teachers fear him. You liked being in the back of the class with him though.

When it came to lunch Veronica practically dragged you to their table. This was your chance to get some information. "So," you said, looking towards Betty and Jughead. "I heard there's been murders of people and animals recently. Do you know anything about it?" They all looked at you, confused. "I'm just really into that stuff."

"Well you'll fit right in here." Veronica joked.

"Not much, but people have been saying things about werewolves." Betty said. "Ethel said that they had a pack at Fox Forest. We were gonna check it out tonight. Do you wanna come?"

"I'd love to." You genuinely smile. If you were to ever stay at one place, it would probably be this one.

Betty smiled. "Okay. This'll be fun."

"Gee gang, sounds like the start of a new mystery." You said without much thought.

"Did you just quote Scooby Doo?" Jughead asked.

"Yes?"

"I think this is the beginning of a new relationship." He said as he munched on his food.

When you got to PE Sweet Pea heard girls talking about you. They were talking about how you had scars covered up, and laughing about how they were ugly on you. He was about to go and tell them off, but was stopped by you calling out for him. "Hey, Sweets!"

"Yeah?"

"We're supposed to partner up, and I think you're the only one who could be close to keeping up with me." You playfully put your hands on your hips.

"We'll see about that, won't we sweetheart?" He gave a smirk.

"Sweetheart, huh? My brother calls his one night stands sweetheart." You counter.

"Don't worry Winchester, you're worth more than that to me." Your cocky smile faded and was replaced with a small, genuine smile with some red on your cheeks. "What's wrong? Not used to the praise?" He slyly said.

"Not at all." You said truthfully. He faltered a bit, but you just brushed your embarrassment off. "C'mon, let's just start the stuff."

Sweet Pea learned just how in shape you were. No matter what exercise was being done, you seemed to excell in it. It was a hassle trying to keep up with you, but he did.

PE was your last period, so the two of you were seen talking together right after school. It seemed that everybody saw, because the five others who greeted you in the morning, except Cheryl, went to go talk to the two of you. It was a rare thing, to see Sweet Pea even give a second glance to someone who isn't a Southsider. But here he was, happy as can be right next to you.

"Hey guys." Betty said. You waved.

"Well well well," Veronica said. "It seems that the new girl in town has found herself a man, and no other than the toughest guy in Riverdale." She was smiling slyly.

They have never seen Sweet Pea so happy, at least not at Riverdale High. Nobody had even seen him look at any girl except Toni, who was one of the guys to him. So having someone crack a smile on his face was a sight to see, and they all automatically wanted the two of you to be together. After all, you made him smile.

Betty then had an idea spring up in her head. "Sweet Pea," he turned his attention towards her, his face unintentionally being a little more colder. "You should come with the three of us tonight to Fox Forest. We're working on the deaths of those people and animals."

Sweet Pea thought about it for a bit, but looking at your waiting face made him not need to think about it at all. "Sure. You guys will need protection, so it's smart if I tag along."

Your face perked up into a smile. Just then a 1967 black Chevy Impala pulled up to the front of the school, classic rock being heard from inside. Two men stepped out and were both leaning on the side of the car. You were guessing that they wanted to look tough to show people not to mess with you.

"Nice ride." Sweet Pea muttered.

"Thanks." You said, everybody turning to you.

"Oh my God, who are those beautiful men standing over there?" Veronica asked. "Especially the one on the left." She said, staring at them.

"That would be Dean. The other one with the long hair is Sam. Those are my brothers." Everyone was in awe of how badass the two looked.

"Well now, some new blood hotties have rolled into town." You all turned your heads to see Cheryl enjoying the view as well. "Who would have known that they were related to a greasy little raggamuffin like you."

"Okay, let's not check out my brothers guys, this is weird and gross for me."

You look at Sweet Pea, who seems to be in a trance as well. "Really? You too?"

He laughed. "No, it's not that. I'm looking at the car." You laughed back. "Don't worry y/n, you're the only Winchester I like to look at." You giggled.

Dean spotted you laughing with some guy. "What the hell?"

"What's wrong?" Sam asked.

"Look at that kid, getting a little too chummy with y/n. I'm gonna have a little talk with him."

"You don't know if he's doing anything bad, they could just be talking Dean."

"The kid has a neck tattoo. He's a douche." They watched as you nudged him, smiling and talking. Sam cleared his throat, not knowing how to defend you anymore.

"Oh hell no." He angrily went over to the group of teenagers, ignoring Sam's calls. Everybody brought their attention to the eldest Winchester walking up. "Hey there." He said to Sweet Pea with a smile. "Wanna tell me why you're standing so close to my sister?"

"Dean." You said, standing in between the both of them, although not making a difference from you being a lot tinier than the two. "Don't."

"We were just talking sir." Sweet Pea said, sweating bullets. He stood up straight and his voice was clear, but he was more nervous than anything.

"Oh, you were just talking. Well to me it seemed like flirting, and if you think I'm gonna let-"

Suddenly a hand clasped hard on Dean's shoulder. "Okay, that's enough. Sorry you all had to see that." He smiled at everyone, making the females melt.

Dean took a few steps back before pointing to Sweet Pea and saying, "We have guns."

"Dean!" Sam said in a sturdy voice.

"Are you satisfied big bro?"

"Get in the car." He said in a strained voice. You mouthed the word sorry to Sweet Pea, then looked at Betty and Jughead, nodding. They nodded back.

When you got to the motel, you were on your way to the bathroom. "Imma go take a shower."

Dean grabbed your arm and plopped you on one of the beds. "Oh no, you're not." You innocently smiled at him, making him even more annoyed. "What the hell were you doing with that kid?"

You looked at him, dead face. "Talking."

"Talking my ass! I saw you two, way too close for friendliness. I don't want you around that guy anymore."

You huffed, kicking off your shoes and getting comfortable. "Why not?"

"Because that kid is bad news. He has a neck tattoo of a double headed snake, I mean, that says it all." He smiled, although unamused.

"It's just a tattoo! I have one too." You were referring to the anti possession tattoo just below your collarbone, which was the same place your brothers had theirs.

"That's different."

"Sam, help me out here."

Sam sighed. "I don't know y/n, you guys were standing pretty close."

"Ha!" Dean said.

"But you really could have only been talking."

"See?! Thank you Sammy. You know what, whatever. I'm gonna head to that 50's themed diner. Want anything?"

"Burgers."

"Just a salad. Thanks."

You nodded and opened the door. "Don't forget the pie!" Dean called out as you shut the door.

You huffed as you went into a diner called Pop's, heading to the front. You didn't notice the four people with leather jackets. You smiled as an old man with the name tag of Pop came. "Do you have pie?"

"Cherry's our best slice." He smiled.

You smiled back. "Perfect. I'll have that, two combo #1's, and a Caesar salad to go please."

"Sure thing. What kind of milkshakes?"

"Milkshakes?"

"Of course, everyone who comes here gets a milkshake. They're the best you'll ever have."

You shrugged, still smiling. There was something that you liked about him. He was just so peaceful. "Surprise me." He nodded and headed to the back. You sat at the counter, waiting for your food.

Meanwhile, Sweet Pea ducked his head when you walked up to the counter. "What's with you?" Toni asked.

"He's into the new girl over there." Jughead said.

"Until her brothers came and scared the crap out of him." Fangs teased.

Sweet Pea flushed from both embarrassment and anger. "No they didn't, I was just showing them respect."

"Then go up to her and ask her out." Fangs said all too casually.

As his three friends stared him down with their evil grins, he awkwardly stood. He knew he couldn't get out of this. He walked over to you, sitting next to you. "Hey."

You swiveled your seat in his direction. "Hey. Sorry about my brothers. Dean likes to get overprotective sometimes, especially when it's with guys that have tattoos on his neck." You have him a teasing smile.

"It's fine." He chuckled out, rubbing where his tattoo was.

"We still on for tonight?" You cocked your head as you waited for his answer, which he found adorable.

"Yeah, I have to be there in case you get yourself in trouble Winchester."

"My hero, but how do I know you won't leave me hanging with Jug and Bets?" There it was again, the nicknames.

"I'm not that kind of guy." He put a hand over his heart jokingly.

"Then why are your friends staring at me?" You squinted your eyes a bit at him.

He put his hand on the back of his neck and rubbed it nervously. "They, uh, wanted me to ask you out." You raised your eyebrows at him in an unimpressed manner. "But, I know that you deserve more than some date from a dare. The date will come, but it will take more time. And I don't care if you'll be leaving soon, I'll drive out to wherever you are and pick you up, and we'll have a good date."

You giggled. He suddenly felt hot, having watched him just pour out his soul. He probably seemed like an idiot right now. "That might have been the sweetest thing anyone has ever told me." You nodded. "Okay, you've got yourself a date. Full warning though, never been on a date. So if I'm weird I'm sorry. But on the bright side, you won't have to top anything from my experience."

He put up his hands to his eye level in victory. "I hit the jackpot."

"Just one thing," you put up your index finger. "You didn't answer my question. How do I know you aren't lying and leave me waiting for you?"

He took off his skull ring and put it on your middle finger. "I have to get my ring back from you." He saw you looking back behind him, then at you. "They're still watching aren't they?"

"Yup." You then leaned to him in your seat and gave him a hug. "Don't worry, I'll put on a show for them." You whispered in his ear, turning your head to kiss his cheek.

"Sorry to interrupt you two love birds up," Pop said, with a bag and a cup holder with three drinks in hand. "But your order's ready. The pie is on the top, and I labeled the flavors of milkshakes on the cups."

You leaned away from Sweet Pea. "Bless your beautiful heart Pop." You reached for your wallet, but Sweet Pea smacked some money down before you could get your own money out. You gave him a side smile. "Ever the gentleman."

"Does that surprise you?" He looked you up and down.

You grabbed your dinner, hopping off your chair. "I bet it would surprise most in this town."

He ignores your comment, and instead focuses on your situation. "Do you need a ride?"

"Um, on your bike?" He nodded, to which you responded by raising the items in your hand. "I have precious cargo."

"Then I'll walk you back to your place."

You gave him a questioning look. "And possibly see my brothers again?"

He shrugged. "I have to protect you, remember? I'm your hero."

You rolled your eyes and smiled. "If you insist."

You both walked and talked, you holding the food and him holding the drinks. "I'm thirsty." He said. "Which one of these milkshakes is yours so I can steal some?"

You laughed. "I have no idea. I told him to surprise me, so that's what he did. Which one do you think I'd like?"

"Peanut butter cup. Definitely." He then took a sip of it, taking it out of the cup holder and putting it towards you. "Try it. Maybe it'll make you stay."

You look at him as he smiled. "I wish. If it tastes bad I'm releasing my brothers onto you." He chucled. You then took a sip, not ready for that level of tastiness to be in that shake. "Holy crap that's amazing!"

"See?!"

"What is up with this ghostly bipolar town? I feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone." You then both got to the motel. "You can go if you want."

"You're living in a motel?"

"Always. Well, sometimes we sleep in the car." You said casually, knocking on your door.

Dean answered the door, eyeing Sweet Pea. "What are you doing here kid?"

"He was at Pop's, and wanted to help me carry dinner." You said with a smile. "He also bought our food! Isn't that so nice of him?"

Sam came to join in. "How considerate."

Your smile became even wider. "Right Dean?"

"You two go on ahead, I'm gonna have a little talk with Mr. Nice Guy outside."

[punkscowardschampions]

Lux & Amber

Lux: Hey, Amber, I was wondering if I could talk to you, when you've got the time to 💬 back and forth for a bit 😌 Amber: Hi Amber: this'll work... Amber: are you okay? Lux: Yes in the sense this isn't a total emergency Lux: but no in the sense I'm not bothering you for no reason Lux: I don't know how to start this Amber: total emergencies are what my mama's for anyway, but I'll still try to help, if I can Lux: Yeah Lux: not that I'll be having that kind of emergency ever Lux: well, it was his idea Lux: and I don't know whether he expected me to follow up on it or not but I'm going to Lux: so maybe I don't feel as insane Lux: it's about Dash Amber: Oh Amber: we're not together if that's what's worrying you, it was just once Amber: and it won't be happening again Lux: I knew you weren't Lux: maybe knew is an overstatement, thought, anyway Lux: what do you think of him? Amber: you did, because he doesn't do 'together' and we all know that Amber: what did he do to make you feel insane? Amber: I think it's probably similar to the way he made me feel stupid, but I'm ready to be wrong Lux: How did he make you feel stupid? Amber: I thought we were friends, we're not Amber: and I thought that maybe he was just a little lost, but he knows exactly what he's looking for Lux: Yeah Lux: I think it might be the same Lux: he said one thing at the time Lux: but then today he said something that made that all so Lux: gross Amber: because he wanted something different from you today from wanting to have sex with you Lux: he said it was part of the tour Lux: which in itself...but then he said he only did it to 'tourists' Amber: I've been here for months, how am I a tourist? Lux: I know! Amber: my family lives and works here and he goes to school with me, I see him every day for like hours, on the commune and outside of it Lux: I wanted him to admit that it was a lie, that this was like family, because that isn't what you do to family, even if it's totally chill or whatever, you still don't view all these girls as your sisters, like you clearly do the boys as your bros Lux: but he couldn't do that, 'cos if this is all bullshit then what is he doing Lux: but then that amounted to him essentially saying he did it to the most fucked up, vulnerable girls, who he knew would go away before it became an issue for him...and that's me, so, everything else he said is untrue and manipulative and Amber: I don't think he understands family for what it's worth, whether he really believes this is one or he's hiding behind that Amber: but if that's his perspective, I understand now why he seemed to immediately regret sleeping with me, because it's unlikely I'm leaving any time soon Amber: even if my 'vulnerability' did jump out Lux: you've at least confirmed I'm not hysterical Lux: he said I should ask you, that it's cool Amber: I'm sorry he hurt and used you like that, I didn't realise I'd have to start warning every girl here Amber: or that he was THAT person Amber: yes, he lied to me and stole from me but he's not the first hippie boy I've met who tried to do some kind of free love revival Lux: he said he wasn't scared of me 'telling' on him to these girls because everyone else is into it too Lux: but he asked me not to multiple times so clearly he doesn't think everyone would still be down if it was total transparency Amber: plenty of people here are into it and whatever you say or don't say, there'll be girls who are still into him Amber: I fell for it after everything I'd seen and heard because he made me want to, I was still willing to give him another chance afterwards Amber: pretty face and prettier words, right? Lux: I'm just sick of dealing with people who are shitty Lux: just because they're not as shitty to me as everyone else Amber: there are people here who would listen, I hope, hold him accountable instead of falling into the forgiveness and understanding speech immediately Amber: my mama, for one, if it came from you instead of me Lux: there's people here who don't like me too Lux: more than that Amber: Who? Lux: I'm not trying to turn this into a big tattle-tale party Lux: I tried to tell him but he wasn't listening Amber: you can tell me, I'll keep my temper and listen Amber: nobody wants to listen to teenage girls and I'm not feeding into that lie that we're all hysterical, even though I am angry Lux: some of the older ladies Lux: they don't think I am a teenage girl Lux: that I've co-opted the experience of being a woman for the aesthetic, without ever having to face the adversity and struggles they do, as biological women Amber: I don't have the vocabulary to express how disgustingly narrow and dangerous that thinking is Lux: it's interesting to hear it from a perspective other than religion, I guess Lux: but still Lux: he thinks it's perfect here, and everyone is Amber: and his brother thinks it's hell on earth Lux: you know his brother? Amber: I met him and my 'aesthetic' jumped out for him Amber: he decided who I am because I live here Lux: I almost thought he'd made him up Lux: in a weird way Lux: I don't know how you get Dash and then him, from what he sounds like, anyway Amber: their experiences are actually entirely different Amber: Dash has opted out of any of the struggles, by being here, so it is perfect for him in that way, I guess Amber: like a utopia Amber: it's no wonder his brother thinks none of us live in the real world Lux: He doesn't 'do' responsibility, he said that Lux: responsibility to be an alright person really is the minimum Amber: plenty of people here obviously don't either Amber: those woman you mentioned don't even understand their own privilege, they just want to tell you yours Lux: don't get me wrong Lux: here is fine Lux: and lots of the people are nice and whatever Lux: but whenever I talk about my family it's like this smugness of how backwards they are when I've got the same treatment from plenty of non-religious folks for no reason but disagreeing Lux: my parents think they're saving me from eternal damnation, because they love me, that's not nothing Amber: like the thinking that anything about living this way makes us superior isn't backward Amber: they're pretending to be free and open is the key to the kingdom and the only way anyone gets to be here Amber: but it's not Lux: I just need somewhere I'm safe Lux: so I can actually sort out what I'm doing with the rest of my life Amber: I know what you mean Amber: I feel like I'm always asking for time to figure things out but it doesn't happen like that Lux: Sorry to put more strain on your time right now Lux: it just Lux: ugh Amber: honestly, it's a relief that there's someone else who feels the same about this place Amber: I can't talk to my parents about it, they love it here Lux: You can talk to me about it any time Lux: even if I am your dad's teacher's pet right now Lux: I just get really bored of the manual labour here, I don't mind chipping in, obviously, but being stuck here all day every day, I want to be using my 🧠 Amber: he talks about you A LOT and I am jealous but I'm not holding it against you personally Amber: if only you could take my place in school... Amber: but for now, do you want to come with me? Somewhere where everything is concrete and plastic? Lux: Dash would be so upset we're not talking about him right there Lux: sounds like heaven Amber: does he 'do' upset? 🙄 Lux: I'm trying not to care right now Amber: we're caring about 🛍💅 like teenage girls with like ZERO struggles Amber: I full intend to buy the most uncomfortable and impractical bra ever and wear it everywhere those women are Lux: 😆 Lux: as long as I can find some falsies to fill mine Amber: I probably should too, there's not much going on here Amber: and when you're in a better headspace, I'll introduce you to my friends from school Amber: I think it'll help Lux: really? 😀 😃 Amber: Yes, some of them are so 'normal' it makes me feel 👽 Amber: but in a good way Lux: I could use that Amber: the conversations hit different because they are Lux: I liked talking to him Lux: 'til he messed it all up Amber: not to be ✌☮🕊 but do you want to give him another chance? Lux: I really don't know what I think or what I'm going to do yet Lux: I've got no desire to hate anyone or be petty Lux: but he isn't sorry so Lux: I'm just a pushover and an idiot if I give him another chance Amber: caring is important but you need to care about yourself too, especially if he isn't sorry Lux: I just hope he can make some better choices Lux: but unlikely Lux: he's happy with how it is right now Amber: treating girls right instead of passing them around like 🚬🌿 isn't growth he's ready for Amber: yet Lux: its hard to know what I should say Lux: if anything Lux: to these other girls he was openly being nasty abouy Amber: his honesty was brutal, why soften the truth if it only protects him? Amber: you can always show them the relevant parts of the conversation if you kept it Lux: I'd feel like crap if other people got hurt needlessly when I knew Lux: but I'm hardly endearing myself to them if they don't see it how I do and they just think I'm trying to like, claim him or whatever nonsense Amber: I can do it, he's already made all those jokes about me being 💔 Amber: and I've been here long enough for everyone to know who I am Lux: 🙄😒 Lux: why are guys like that Lux: they say they wanna chill with down girls but then their ego makes them wanna believe you're actually in LOVE with them Amber: I wish I knew, and that I didn't have sex with him Amber: but he probably would have said I did anyway, I guess Lux: He's the second person I've ever Amber: well now I'm really 😠 Amber: my dad'll be upset about it but if I see him around I will hit him Lux: I mean, I'm straight Lux: so I was gay Amber: that's adversity if those judgemental woman would like to get into it, liking boys is the biggest struggle Amber: they really don't make it easy for us Lux: Are there any boys you like that aren't him Amber: I need to make better decisions, so that means saying no to that question Lux: Gotcha Amber: but it's a lie and I'm not lying to you today too Amber: just so you know Lux: I appreciate it Lux: probably got enough frivolous boy chat for the both of us though, so you can try to be better Amber: he did say he likes me, I do have that in writing, but what have we learned today if not to trust stuff like that Lux: is he from school? Lux: not all guys can be total assholes, right Lux: that sounds like something those old ladies would say Amber: he's a good person but he insists he's bad for me, I have to listen to that, don't I? Lux: depends why he thinks that, I suppose Lux: it could be an insecurity thing Lux: or a genuine warning Amber: he thinks it's genuine, and I know why he does, we are very different Lux: good different like your school friends Lux: or the bad kind Amber: I don't know Lux: Tricky Amber: it's another thing I need more time to figure out Lux: You'll have it Lux: boys wait for girls like you Amber: girls like me? Lux: Beautiful Amber: that's girls like US Lux: 😌😚 Amber: beautiful and weird and getting out of here for a while even if boys are waiting for us Lux: heck yeah! Lux: he's waiting on Cleopatra though, currently Amber: who? Amber: is she new here? Lux: oh, that's not her real name Lux: umm Lux: another 💎 Amber: he's not waiting for me Lux: Sapphire! Amber: of course Lux: I don't know her Amber: she got here a few weeks ago, her brother Onyx tends to speak for her more than she does for herself Lux: don't love that Lux: was picturing Liz Taylor Lux: wouldn't need to worry about her Amber: did he say she looks like Elizabeth Taylor? Lux: just Cleo Lux: well, 'vibe' which can mean everything and nothing, I really don't know Amber: I don't 👀 it Lux: like you said, if anything his words are pretty Lux: which is nice, in a fucked up kinda way Amber: I don't think I'll try and remember how he described my 'vibe' though Lux: just let me know if he's doubling up on 👼s Amber: there are less 👼🏽 it would be creative Amber: but no Lux: not going to keep a list for him so he can keep track or anything Amber: if he keeps one himself I didn't find it when I searched his room Lux: wait, WHAT??!? Amber: he stole my stash, I didn't want my dad to get upset with me so I went to his house to see if I could get it back Amber: that's how I met his brother Amber: I didn't find it, if he smoked with you, that was on me Lux: asshole Lux: I need to find something cute to wear at the shops Lux: it's the most teen girl response possible Amber: [tells her where she can find all the best clothes because it'd be such a free for all cos nobody has proper rooms or storage like] Lux: 🤞 having my ankles on display is a CHOICE LEWK Lux: ['cos how many of these malnourished girls are 5'10 lol] Amber: ✂ Amber: short shorts are a teenage girl staple Amber: I'm going to get something else pierced while I'm this young and beautiful Lux: 😄😄 I have the legs for it 💁 Amber: and if you get 😽 called, you get to say everything Dash refused to listen to earlier Lux: Alright, I'm ready 😎 🤩 🥳 Amber: 🙃 Amber: let's go!

[stormtrprinstilettos]

Chameleon - Ch. 9 (Roger x Reader)

Summary: (slow burn!) Reader (that’s you!) moves to London, hoping to leave her past behind and find happiness. She makes friends with her new neighbors. (Guess who?) - So far we’ve established that Reader & Freddie are BFF, Reader & Roger have a thing and it really should be more, and Reader & Brian are putting their small past behind them. {If you’re a new reader, please know that there is no proper summary to the story. I have no idea where this is going and take my direction from messages and comments that I get, so interact with me! I don’t bite!} 18+ please!

[A/N: Y’all wanted fluffy Roger so, here – have some fluffy Roger. What about some smut thrown in the mix? You’re welcome.]

Word count: ~ 7.7k | Warnings: language (as always), smut, feels

Tagging: @chocolatealmondmilkshake @thisjustfantasy @clogwearingspacepoodle @rogerrhqpsody @reedusteinrambles @akerith

Other chapters here || AO3

You had a sudden bout of energy today. It wasn’t even noon and you finished the work around the house you wanted to get done for the entire week. The new curtains were hung, the new rugs were laid, and the place was starting to look more like you wanted it to. After the fiasco your birthday evening turned in to a couple of weeks ago, you decided to take some time to yourself. Of course, the guys were still around constantly, as were their girlfriends, and you did spend time with them, but you needed to rejuvenate yourself, and that included some retail therapy. You had a new attitude, new outlook, new clothes, and now new home décor. You managed to finally rid yourself of the ghost of Mark that constantly haunted you, which finally made you feel fully free. You’re certain that he’d still be sniffing around had John not decked him, and for that you are eternally grateful. You never asked for details of what transpired that night they all followed Mark outside – you didn’t need them. You just know that they took care of the problem, and you were forever in their debt.

As you were standing in the middle of the living room, appreciating the new look, someone started to open the door. You thought it was Freddie so when you heard the door open you didn't bother to turn around. "What do you think of these curtains? I think they fit great with the rugs."

"Umm... they're nice?" You spin around and see Roger standing there, holding flowers in one hand and a white box in the other and a huge smile on his face. You haven’t spent much one on one time with him since the night of your birthday. There was nothing wrong. They were busy with the band and you weren’t going to interfere. You’d see each other, of course, but by the time you’d finally get alone together, all you’d do was fall asleep – and that was okay with you. Any time spent with him was perfect.

"Hey! I wasn't expecting you." You hurry over to him, beaming, smiling as wide as you could. "I thought it was Freddie." He hands you the flowers, another bouquet of sunflowers, and opens the box before presenting it to you.

"Oooh, macarons! My favorite!" You grab one and hold it up to his mouth for him to take a bite before you the same. "Mmm, these are sweet, but not as sweet as you," you tell him as you tap him on the nose and walk to the kitchen to get a vase for the flowers. “What’s all this for?”

He follows and leans against the wall, amused as he’s watches you struggle to get a vase from the top cabinet. “Can’t a guy bring his favorite girl flowers and sweets without there being an ulterior motive?” he facetiously asks as he watches you with a grin.

“Your favorite girl, huh?” you chuff. “If I didn’t think there was an ulterior motive before, I do now,” you giggle as you keep trying to reach the vase.

He starts tapping his fingers on the wall, trying to decide if he wants to keep you struggling for his entertainment or not. "I just saw Fred and he said to tell you that he won't be home to go to lunch because you have other plans."

You’re frustrated because you can’t reach the vase, so you turn around with your hands on your hips. "You mean he has other plans. And dammit, Roger, can you help me out?"

He chuckles before reaching over your head to grab it. "No, I mean you have other plans." You watch him curiously as he starts going through everything in the refrigerator, pulling out a few things and placing them on the counter. He grabs two bottles of wine from the rack. "Which one is better?" You point to the one on the left, and he turns to dig around some more.

"Hey Rog?" he doesn’t answer. "Roger?" He was concentrating too hard on whatever he was doing to hear you calling his name. "ROGER!"

"What's wrong?" he answers, startled by your yelling.

“What are you doing? Are you hungry or something?"

"No, no... Do you have something we can put all of this in?" He reaches to the cabinet above him and pulls out two wine glasses. "I'm taking you somewhere.”

You walked out of the kitchen, saying nothing. He didn't know if you were mad, or sad, or happy. He stood there, perplexed, before you walked back in with a basket. "Will this do?"

"Perfect." He kisses you on the cheek and loads his findings in the basket and goes back to ignoring you as he walks into your bedroom and starts looking in your closet. You follow him slowly and raise an eyebrow as you stand behind him. He turned around, startled by you glaring at him. “Blankets. We need blankets.” You point to the top of the closet, your face not changing. He grabs two and turns around, and you’re still standing so close that he bumps into you. He starts to chuckle at your unamused look and pats you on top of your head. “You’re cute when you’re frustrated.”

You swat his hand away and giggle. “Where are you taking me?”

“It’s a surprise. Get dressed,” he says as he starts to walk out of the room.

“How can I get dressed when I don’t know where I’m going?”

He starts to laugh. “Blankets? A basket of food? A bottle of wine? Clearly I’m taking you to a movie.” You start to laugh as you nudge him out the door. “You’re such a numpty.” You flip him off as you push him out the door. “Can’t I watch?” he hoots from the other side.

“No,” you laugh back. “Fuck off.” You hurry and throw on some jeans and a t-shirt and brush your hair before going out into the living room where he’s pacing back and forth mumbling to himself. “Sometimes the best conversations you can have are with yourself,” you snicker, snapping him out of his zone. “Are you nervous about something?” You’re giggling, and he starts to get embarrassed. “Come here, silly.” He walks over to you and you lace your fingers through the belt loops on his jeans. He lays his arms over your shoulders, bends down and gives you a quick kiss and smiles. His eyes make you melt every time you look in them.

“Ready to go?” he asks. You smile and shake your head. “Which movie do you want to go see?” You both start laughing as you playfully slap him. He grabs the basket, you grab the blankets, and you both head out the door.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

He’s sitting with his legs stretched out, leaning against the tree you picked out to sit under and you’re lying on your back with your head on his lap. For the past hour the two of you have been telling stories, cracking jokes and laughing harder than you have in a long time. You started asking each other random questions – some serious, most funny – and were reminiscing about the first time you met 8 months ago. Everything was funny – you were almost finished with the bottle of wine.

“Fred tried so hard to keep me away from you,” Roger said as he lit his cigarette. “I mean from the second he told me about you moving in, before I even saw you the first thing he told me was ‘I will not let you corrupt her.’” His imitation was priceless, and you were laughing hysterically. “If only he knew how naughty his Princess was.” He winked and chuckled while you kept laughing.

“Hey,” you said firmly. “I did what I had to do to let you know that you weren’t going to be the one in charge.” He raised an eyebrow, curious about what you were saying, and you raised an eyebrow in return. “Oh, please, Rog, like you’re whole ‘I could never just have sex with you forget you exist the next day’ crap that wasn’t just to get me in bed.”

He smirked sneakily, trying hard to mask the laugh that was boiling up. “Maybe?” You slapped his arm, pretending to be offended. “I would have never done that to you, but fuck, Y/N. I wanted you so bad I would have done anything…” He can’t help but start laughing with you. “You didn’t make it easy, so I didn’t know what to do! Especially since I thought you hated me.”

“Aww,” you chuckle. “How can anyone hate those eyes?”

He tapped on your forehead with one of his fingers. “Don’t act so innocent in all of this, doll,” he chuckles. “You enjoyed making me absolutely mad.”

You smirk, thinking back to the whole cat and mouse game the two of you played with each other before you finally caught each other. “Probably.”

“You don’t understand,” he started to explain. “I never met anyone like you before. You’re so different from the slags around here. I knew it from the very first time I saw you.”

“Why? Because I didn’t throw myself at you?” you snickered.

He leaned his head back against the tree and took a deep breath before exhaling loudly and playing with your hair. “Partly, yeah. I don’t know what, exactly. You had such a different vibe. You weren’t ever trying to be someone you’re not to impress people. And your accent…” he drifted off as you looked up at him. “It did things to me then and it still does today.”

You roll your eyes at his smirking. “I don’t know how anyone can find this accent sexy. You should hear a bunch of us speaking with it at the same time. You’ll change your mind quickly.”

“Do you miss home?” he asks.

“I am home. Nowhere else ever felt like it. I didn’t know what home even meant before I came here.”

“If you were to go back to America tomorrow, what’s the first place you’d want to go?”

“The mountains,” you say without hesitation. “I don’t even care which mountains. Any of them will do. Camping. I miss camping.”

He let out a hearty laugh. “Camping? In the woods? You don’t seem the type for camping.”

“Yes, camping,” you giggle as you sit up and face him. “It’s the epitome of freedom. No one bothering you, complete and total serenity.” He gives you an unconvinced look. “Oh, city boy, you have no idea what you’re missing.”

“Bugs,” he chuffs as he starts poking you, making you laugh and slap at his hands. “That’s what I’m missing. Bugs and other assorted critters.”

“And campfires at night,” you continue. “The stars. The fresh air.” He still looks unconvinced. “One day, Taylor. One day I’ll get you out there in a tent. Then you’ll see.”

“Yeah,” he chortles. “I can see myself out there in a tent.” You both start to laugh at the thought.

“There’s this one place, in Virginia, in the Appalachians. I was there once with my mom. We sat outside one morning to watch the sunrise. The sky was so open you could see the exact point where night and day meet.” You sit up and sit next to him, laying your head on his shoulder. “Stars to the left and the sunlight to the right. It was magical. I’d love to see that again. It was like time just stopped…” Your voice trailed off as you remembered how it looked.

He starts to play with your hair again and lifts your head so he can stare deep into your eyes. “I wish time would stop when I’m with you, so I could keep this feeling forever.” You smile softly, and it was as if time really did stop at that very moment. The entire world ceased to exist. It was just the two of you on the entire planet – in the entire universe. He bent down so you could meet each other’s lips and kissed you tenderly.

“I’ve done so many things wrong, and I’m sure there will be many more things I do wrong, but being with you isn’t one of them,” you say quietly as you reach up to touch his face.

“You blew into my life like a monsoon, Y/N, and now I can’t imagine my life without you in it.” As he leans over to kiss you again, the sounds of some kids who suddenly appeared, laughing and playing right next to you, draws the two of you out of your shared trance. “Do you want any of those?”

“Maybe one day. Not anytime soon,” you tell him as you sit up and lean against him. “There’s too much I want to do first. Never really thought about kids.”

“Yeah, I need to conquer the world first before thinking about all of that.” He gave you a half grin before leaning back against the tree you were sitting under and sighing.

You watch him as he starts to watch the kids playing with a small smile across his lips, clearly enjoying their laughter. “Three,” you blurt out, causing him to turn and look at you, confused. “Two boys and a girl. Jacob, William and Claire.” He started to smirk. “And a nice house in the country with a yard they can run and play in.”

His smirk grew. “Never really thought about it, huh?”

“Nope,” you smirk back before standing up to stretch with your back turned to him.

He stands up behind you and wraps his arms around your waist, resting his chin on your shoulder, slowly swaying you both back and forth. “A swimming pool in the back garden,” he said lowly in your ear. “A dog or two, maybe even a cat.”

You lean your head over to rest gently on his. “Lots of flowers, all different colors,” you whisper as you close your eyes.

“And sunflowers, of course.” He turns you around to face him. “I’ll buy you a whole field of them if that’s what you want,” he sighs as he grips you tighter. “We’ll put the house right in the middle of them.”

The expression on your face turns almost sorrowful. He notices, of course, and searches your eyes for an answer as to what’s wrong. “I have so much baggage, Roger,” you whisper.

“Then let me help you carry it,” he says as he smiles softly and gently caresses your face with his hand. “I would do anything for you.” Happy tears start to fall down your cheeks as you grin, having never felt like you do in this very moment, but you know exactly what it is. “Let’s conquer the world together, Y/N.”

You hold his face in both of your hands, smiling. “There’s no one else I’d rather conquer the world with.”

“I love you, Y/N,” he tells you, surprising you – and himself – your face turning completely shell shocked. He starts to stumble with his words, thinking he shouldn’t have said anything and nervous that you don’t share the feelings he has, despite everything you’ve just told him. “I… I… fuck I’m sorry!” He starts to back away, feeling dejected.

You rush your body to his, wrap your arms around him and he loses his balance, falling back, and you land on top of him, both of you laughing hysterically. You lean down and kiss him, still laughing, unable to control it. “You love me?” you ask, giddily and wanting to make sure you heard him correctly.

“Yeah,” he beams. “I love you.”

“Good,” you say with a leer before a quick kiss. He sits up, you still straddling him as you wrap your arms around his neck. “I love you, too.”

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

When you get back to the flat, you lean against the door before going inside. He leans down to get his mouth gets close to yours, but you put a finger over his lips. "Not yet," you whisper with seduction in your tone and in the smile you give as you bite your bottom lip and hand him the key. He leans in close, his body lingering over yours, and opens the door.

You slowly move inside, you walking backwards, and as soon as he kicks the door shut, he leans down and kisses you with the passion of a million burning suns. The anticipation of what was to come is aching every fiber in your bodies. You’ve done this with him before, many times, but this time it was different. You step back as Roger takes off his jacket, throwing it over a chair, before grabbing his hand and leading him into your bedroom. Once inside, he gently closes the door and takes in every inch of the goddess standing before him. "You... From the second I saw you, Y/N... Before I ever met you... It's been you."

"I'm yours, Roger. All of me."

You move in close, his hand gently under your chin and he lifts your mouth up to meet his. Your tongues entwine, the kiss growing more and more heavy. You break apart only so you can undress each other. Your eyes said all that needed to be said. You kiss again as you move to the bed and lay down, his body on top of yours. He grabs hold of your hips, molding your bodies together, chest to chest. "You're so beautiful it almost hurts to look at you," he whispers as he props himself up on his arms on both sides, cupping your face with his hands. You drink in the moment, staring deeply into each other’s eyes. He leans down and kisses you some more as his hands start exploring your body like it’s unexplored territory.

When he touches your breasts, you let out a tiny gasp, and he responds in turn at the feeling of your fingernails gently running up and down his back. You move a hand in between your bodies, finding his erection, and rub it gently. "Mmm, you keep doing that and I won't last very long," he says with a smile before he moves down, just out of your reach.

"That's not fair," you snicker. He winks and goes back to kissing you all over your body. Your neck, your collarbone, down to your breasts. Your moans encourage him to continue, his hand moving lower to explore the world below your waist while his mouth continued to travel slowly behind. Once his hand finds your essence, you can't help but moan louder. "Oh..." He looks up into your pleading eyes, searching for what you want him to do next, but you couldn't answer with words, only your reactions. His fingers graze gently over your clit, and the sudden shudder of your body lets him know exactly where to go. His eyes never leave yours as he slowly and softly kisses a trail from your stomach down to your mound. He pulls his head back, wanting to watch as he guides one finger, then two, inside of you. "Oh my god..."

He continues to gently toy with you enjoying your moans and movements. "Does this feel good, baby?" he asks, already knowing the answer, but wanting to hear it.

"Yes," you struggle to answer. "It feels good."

Suddenly he pulls his fingers out and tastes them. "You taste delicious. I'm going to have more of you now. Is that okay?" Again, he already knows the answer.

"Yes, Roger. Please..."

He slowly lowers his mouth to your folds, letting you feel the warmth of his breath on the lips, before having his tongue discover more. He stares up at you, finding encouragement in your expressions. You stare down at him, finding pleasure in seeing him enjoy what he was tasting. You reach down, grab some of his hair and push him closer. He moves his tongue into you, thrusting it in and out before focusing his tongue's attention on your clit, sucking and nibbling as he pushes his fingers back inside. You let out a moan, releasing all inhibitions, arching your back, pushing yourself into his mouth and hand. As you crashed back onto the bed, you struggle to catch your breath as you look back down to meet Roger’s gaze. His tongue travels up your slit one last time as he smirks, pleased with what he had just done. "Good girl," he whispers as he moves his body up to meet yours. He meets your mouth with his and kisses you passionately, your breath still short from the explosive orgasm you just experienced.

He rubs his hands up and down your body as your tongues circled, the slight callousness of his fingertips intoxicating you. Your reach down and take hold of his shaft, rubbing gently up and down. "I want to feel you inside me," you whispered in Roger's ear, begging.

He kisses a trail down your neck to your breasts. He glances up and simpered, teasing, enjoying the fact that the focus today is on you and you alone. "Soon, doll." He licked over your nipple. "Soon..." He once again moved his body, so you would lose your grip. You let out a frustrated groan, but quickly went back to enjoying the sensation of Roger taking care of your every want and need. He moves back up to your mouth, kissing you once again, softly. "I love you," he whispers, as you stare into each other's eyes.

"I love you."

He goes back to memorizing every inch of your body with soft, gentle kisses, his hands reaching the areas his mouth could not. He massages the inside of your thigh as his mouth works on your nipples some more, eliciting tender moans from your lips. You run your fingers through his hair, willing where his next move would be. You push his head up, nudging him to meet back with your lips. "Tell me what you want, baby. Tell me." He pleads with you, wanting only to satisfy your every wish.

"I want you. All of you. Now." Understanding the desperation in your tone, he guides his arousal inside of you. The two of you moan in unison, holding your shared gaze, as he fills you with his love. "Don't stop looking at me," you command.

"I couldn't even if I wanted to.” He slowly moves inside of you, wanting to take his time, savoring every second. Your bodies move in perfect unison, feeling the pulsation with every motion. With each moan that purrs from your lips, he probes deeper, picking up a little speed along the way, the intensity building with each thrust.

His cock was bulging inside of your saturated flower. Your fingernails dig deep into his back as you plead with him. "Don't stop, Roger. Just like that." Your gasps get louder, and he feels himself melting with each one. "You feel so good inside me."

"Fuck, baby, I don't know how much longer I can go." He’s reaching his peak, but he doesn't want to finish until he knows you’re ready. "Tell me what you need," never taking his eyes off yours.

"Go faster," you beg. "Faster..." He quickens his thrust, both of feeling a sense of urgency. You grip his back and shout out, "yes, Roger. Yes!"

The feverous speed suddenly comes to a halt as he pushes and holds himself inside as far as he could, both of you reaching your climax at the same time. He falls towards you, your bodies once again becoming one, satisfied and quenched. He leans down and kisses you deeply as your hands press to his chest. He moves back, staring adoringly at you and playfully asks, “is this the first phase of our world conquest?”

You giggle. “Absolutely.”

He rolls over and lays next to you, wrapping an arm around you, while you turn on your side and snuggle against him, laying your head on his chest and wrapping an arm around his waist. He kisses the top of your head (you get those elusive butterflies every single time) and plays with the back of your hair. He holds you closer, you squeeze him tighter. There was nothing that could bring the two of you down from your euphoric high. You soon doze off, he feeling the comfort he didn’t know he longed for and you feeling safe wrapped in his arms.

You were awakened by a soft knock on the door. "Ugh..." you groan as you roll over to see what time it is. It’s only 6:30 so you know you hadn't been asleep that long. The knocking starts again.

"Y/N? You in there?" Freddie loudly whispers.

“Of course I am, Freddie, where else would I be?" You tried to mask the frustration in your voice.

"Did I wake you?"

"Yeah, you did. What do you want?"

"Well..." he pauses. "Do you, uh, know where the, uh, Parmesan cheese is?"

"We don't have any. Why do you need Parmesan cheese?"

"Oh, it's not for me. It's for John."

"Tell John to get his own fucking cheese."

Almost immediately after you hear Freddie walk away, there’s another knock. "Hey, Y/N?" This time it wasn't Freddie.

"What, Brian?"

"Didn’t you have some grapes yesterday? Are they all gone?"

"Yes, I ate them."

You roll back over and snuggle back up against Roger, who’s finding all of this quite amusing. "I want to fucking kill them," you whisper, trying to contain your laughter.

Just as you get comfortable, there’s another knock on the door. "Hey, Y/N?"

"What, Freddie?" you ask with apparent irritation in your voice.

"We're almost out of toothpaste."

"I'll get some tomorrow. Now fuck off."

Roger starts to shake with a silent laugh. "Is he always like this?" he whispers, trying to keep his presence a secret.

"You mean annoying? Yes. He’s always annoying." As soon as you finished your statement, there’s another knock.

"Hey Y/N?" This time it was John, who wasn't doing a good job hiding his amusement.

"For fuck's sake, WHAT?"

"Tell Rog we have pizza and beer out here if you two want any." He bursts out in laughter and walks away.

You bury your face against Roger’s chest, mortified, but laughing. "It’s not like they didn’t know we… you know," he says.

"How did they..." you start to question how they knew he was in there. "Your jacket! You left it on the chair."

"Oops," he chuckles. “You want pizza?" he asks. You sit up and rub you face. "I want pizza.”

Sighing, wanting to stay in bed instead, you pick up his shirt on from the floor ground and put it on before walking over to the dresser to grab a pair of shorts. You looked over to him as he was pulling up his pants and pointing at his shirt.

"Oh, whatever, they know what we were doing in here so what's the big deal." You pull the now-messed up ponytail down and start to brush your hair as he was waiting for you to give him his shirt back. "Nope, it's mine now. It's comfortable."

He grabbed at the shirt and pulled you close, kissing you sweetly, and grabbed your ass. "I'll just have to get you out of it later then, won't I?" He winks.

There’s a pounding on the door and Freddie starts yelling. “Rog, come on! We have to go meet with the label!” You and Roger give each other a confused look before he flings the door open. Freddie, Brian and John are all standing there with massive smiles. “Oh, did we not tell you? Trident wants to talk about signing us. Give him his shirt back, Princess. We need to take him for a little while. We’ll give him back soon.”

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

“Sit still,” Mary giggles. “I’m almost finished.” She’s sitting at the dining table with Jane, trying to apply eyeliner. You had the girls over at the flat getting ready for tonight’s show. The guys were already at the venue setting up and none of you had seen them all day. They’ve been busy, having signed their new contract and spending most of their time rehearsing or recording at ridiculous hours.

“I’m sure I must look a sight,” Jane laughs. “This is ridiculous.”

“It actually looks really good,” you tell her as you sit across the table. “Very becoming.” You like this version of Jane. She may have become friendly to you because of he-who-doesn’t-need-to-be-named-ever-again, but you don’t care. You’ll take it. “Brian’s going to love it.” You smile at her, and she smiles back meaningfully, and the two of you share unspoken apologies. You quickly stand up from the table. “I have an outfit that would look amazing on you.”

Gemma walks in the front door carrying an overnight bag. “I didn’t know what to wear so I brought four things. You’re going to have to help me choose.”

“I haven’t done this since I was 15,” Mary says. “This is fun. Girl time.”

“I never did this before,” you tell them. “Aren’t we supposed to gossip and talk about boys?” You pour everyone a glass of wine and settle in.

“I’ll go first!” Gemma exclaims. “Y/N. I need to know. Is Roger good in bed?” You start screaming with laughter, as does Mary and Jane. “Oh, come on,” she tells the other two. “Don’t say you never wondered.”

You all notice Jane starting to blush and stifling a laugh. “Okay, I’ll admit it. I’ve always been curious.” She covers her face and screams. “It’s just… he seems so…”

“Animalistic.” You all look at Mary who was not embarrassed at all by what she said. She shrugs and grins. “He does.”

You start to giggle. “Well… he does know what he’s doing, I’ll just say that.”

“Brian and I went out with them one night,” Jane tells them. “Don’t let this one make you think she’s timid because she’s just as animalistic as he is.” Your eyes get big as she talks. “You should have seen them. It was turning me on and I’m a fucking prude.”

“Surely, you’re not a prude, Jane,” Gemma tells her. “I have it on good authority that the wariest, most shy people really have it in them to just let it alllll out.”

“Maybe I would, but Brian really isn’t the type,” she says. “Don’t get me wrong, he is good,” she sighs. “It’s just that he’s not… aggressive.” You can feel your cheeks start to fluster with heat, because the way you remember it, he’s quite aggressive.

“So make him aggressive,” Mary pipes up. “Take control.”

“Oh, I don’t know if I can’t do that,” Jane says shyly.

“Sure you can. I got John to…” Gemma starts to giggle as she stops herself.

“Have a go when you’re in the middle of bickering about something,” you tell her. They all turn to look at you, Mary’s face shocked because she knows your secret. “Get him when he’s mad. It’ll be aggressive.”

“Angry sex is pretty amazing,” Mary tells Jane. “It’s raw and…”

“… kind of rough,” you interrupt. “But, Wow.” You all start to laugh. “Or maybe… we can get you in that outfit I’m thinking about, yeah?” You grab Jane’s hand and bring her in your room.

“Y/N?” She starts when the door closes. “Can I wear that red dress?” You look at her, confused. “That dress is sexy, and…” She sighs and plops down on your bed. “Do you think I can pull it off?” You smile and go to get it out of the closet. “Things with him are just so bland right now,” she tells you. “I don’t know what it is. I mean, we have sex but it’s like his mind is somewhere else.” You take a gulp, hoping she doesn’t sense your complete discomfort with this whole conversation. “I want to spice it up a bit, you know?”

You turn and face her, red dress in hand. You know how Brian feels about that dress – that color – on you. You know you should probably talk her into wearing something else, but you don’t. You’re not sure why you don’t, but you don’t. “Yeah, I know,” you smile. “This will be stunning on you.” When she looks at it, she hesitates. “Put it on and try it. Show some skin,” you chuckle.

“What about you? What are you wearing?” she asks as she changes, and you sift through your clothes. “Not that it matters. Roger’s crazy about you no matter what you wear,” she says, with a minor tinge of jealousy.

“Hey, Bri’s pretty crazy about you, too,” you tell her, “and you are going to blow his mind tonight. You look absolutely beautiful, Jane!” She turns to look in the mirror, taking in her makeup and outfit and a smile starts to slowly come across her lips. You reach on your dresser and pick up a long, gold necklace and hook it around her. “Perfect.”

She turns to you and gives you a hug. “How can you even stand looking at me after the way I’ve treated you?”

“Probably the same way you can stand looking at me.” You both laugh as you walk back to your closet to find something for yourself. The guilt of knowing what you did with Brian was starting to poke at you every single time she opened her mouth and you had to figure out a way to stop it, but she keeps talking and asking questions.

“How do you keep Roger interested? It seems so effortless for you,” she moans.

“Oh, honey, Roger and I are… well, it’s all still kind of new for us. I’m sure eventually we’ll…”

“No you won’t. He’s so…” She stops. “There’s just something about you, Y/N. They all flock to you. Why?” You give her a curious look, not sure what she’s trying to say. “I probably shouldn’t even tell you this, but I will.” She takes a deep breath before she spits it out. “One night, Brian and I were, you know… and he was so into it, like he never had been before. Doing all these things he never did. It was so good… and then he said… your name.” Your heart sank. He told you about it before, the night he took you to see Saturn, and having this conversation with Jane was extremely awkward. “You’re gorgeous, so it’s not hard to see why he finds you attractive.”

“Jane, listen to me. It has nothing to do with me.” You start to chuckle, trying to stop her from keeping this conversation going in the direction it’s headed. “Don’t you think about other people sometimes? When you’re in bed with him?” Her face drops. “Oh, come on, we all do it.”

She starts to blush and flashes an embarrassed smile. “Yeah, I have. Only once. It was…” She looks at you as if to ask if it’s okay to proceed, and you let her know that her secret is safe with you. “That night we all went out to the club, us and the guys.” She shook her head. “No, this is too embarrassing.”

“Hey, it’s okay. If you don’t want to talk…”

“Roger. It was Roger.” You were surprised. “The way he was looking at you, touching you, dancing with you. No one ever acted like that with me. And all I could think about was how I wished Brian would act like that with me, like I was completely irresistible. I was so jealous of you, Y/N. It was like you weren’t even trying to get him to act like that.”

You had to laugh. “Honestly? I was.” She was intrigued. “I wore that dress with a purpose,” you wink, “just like you’re going to wear it with one tonight.” You turn her to face back to the mirror. “You are going to show off those knockers, and seduce the hell out of Brian tonight, you hear me?” She looks so confused right now. “We are going to stand in front of that stage tonight, not off to the side. You are going to flirt your ass off. Play with the necklace,” you say as you put her hand on it right between her cleavage. “Look up at him and bite your lip. Do not take your eyes off him.” She’s laughing nervously. “You are a knockout, Jane. There’s no way this night is going to end without your boyfriend begging you for…” She started to blush again. “You know what I mean.”

“You think this will work?”

“Observe the master,” you giggle. “Watch how I handle Roger when we get there.” She starts to look at herself in the mirror again, her smile beaming. “One look at you and Brian will be putty in your hands.”

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

The four of you walked in like you owned the place, all dressed up ready to see your men. You sneak your way through the crowd that has gathered at the back of the venue and walk through the door. The crowds were getting bigger now, and you all knew they would just continue to grow. You were proud of the guys. You lean over to Jane and whisper in her ear. “Remember. Putty. Don’t be too forward. Tease him a bit.” You wink and walk over to sneak up on Roger.

He quickly turns before you can grab him. “You can’t startle me, babe. I feel a tingle whenever you’re around.” He wraps his arms around you and gives you a kiss. “You’re looking quite delicious,” he growls in your ear before you pull away.

“None of that,” you smirk as you move his hands from your hips. “Getting worked up now won’t help you when you’re out there.” You turn to walk away but he pulls you back. “Roger,” you giggle as you move his hands again, “you have to focus.”

“I am focused,” he laughs. “I also haven’t seen you all day and I’m quite hungry.” He nibbles your bottom lip as his eyes move to look behind you. “Who is that with Brian?” He squints his eyes to get a better look and his mouth drops open. “Is that Jane? Holy hell, I didn’t recognize her.”

“Yeah, that’s our Jane.” You were beaming with pride, quite pleased with the transformation you and Mary had accomplished. “Doesn’t she look great?” He pulls you closer to him, close enough to where your thigh rubs against his crotch so you can feel his hardness underneath his pants. “Calm down, tiger. You have a show in…” you glance at your watch “… 10 minutes.”

He moves back a couple of steps and puts on a fake pout. “Oh, alright then,” he groans. “Guess I better go finish setting up.” He leans down and gives you a quick peck before heading off.

“Come on, Y/N,” you hear Gemma calling you. “We’re going up front.”

“I’ll be there in a few,” you tell her. “Save me a spot. Need to go to the restroom first.” The girls all giggle at you and your blatant American-ness sometimes. “Stop laughing at me. I will never start calling it ‘the loo.’”

When you walk out, everyone is gone except for Brian, who is sitting down, quietly making sure his guitar is tuned. Without even looking up, he starts to talk. “Did you do this for her or for me?”

“I’m not sure what you’re…”

“Dressing her up like that. In your dress. Was that for her benefit or mine?” You look at him with a raised eyebrow and he finally looks up at you, smirking as he stands up.

You clear your throat of the lump that has suddenly formed before answering. “She asked to wear it.” You can tell by the look he’s giving you that he thinks there’s more to it than just that, and he’s not going to let you get away with that simple explanation. You start to run your thumbnail between your fingers. “It was all for her benefit.”

He starts to chuckle and points down at your hand. “You’re lying.”

You hurry and move your hands behind your back and start to laugh. “Hush. She asked to wear it, so I let her. She looks great tonight, doesn’t she?”

He moves closer to you, not awkwardly close but close enough to let you hear when he whispers. “You know how much I love that dress, Y/N.”

You look up to his eyes that are sparkling in the light. “She wanted to wear that dress for you, Brian.”

He chuffed softly. “Either way, thanks.” He brushes past you, not taking his eyes off you, still smirking. “You seem to be feeling bright green tonight,” he says, and walks off to get to the stage.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

The next morning – okay, afternoon – you wake up feeling like you just got plowed over by a huge truck. You look over to your left and see Roger still sleeping. You don’t want to move. Your entire body is aching, and it feels much better to just lay there. Roger feels you stirring and rolls over, grabbing you and pulling you close. “Good morning, babe,” he grunts.

“It’s 2:00. Afternoon,” you giggle. “What did we even do last night? I feel rough.”

He starts chuckling. “Everything.” He starts to kiss the back of your neck. “We did everything.” The phone starts to ring in the living room, causing you both to moan with displeasure. When you start to get up he pulls you back. “Fuck it. Let it ring.”

So that’s what you do – let it ring. And ring. And ring. “Whoever it is won’t give up until I answer,” you groan, standing up and throwing on your robe. “I’ll make some coffee while I’m up.” You look at him as he’s sits up in the bed, smiling at you, and you can’t help but pause and smile back adoringly. “You’re so adorable,” you pick at him as he shakes out his hair.

“I know,” he jokingly quips. “You’re lucky to have me.” The phone finally stops ringing and he pats the bed next to him. “Come back. Don’t leave me,” he whines teasingly.

“I’m going shower,” you mumble. “Come with me.” You don’t have to work hard at convincing him. He jumps up out of bed and slips on his pants, unbuttoned, and holds you from behind as you go walk out the door, both of you giggling and unable to keep your hands off each other.

When you open the door, you’re greeted by Freddie, standing there with his hand up like he was about to knock. “For fuck’s sake, can’t you two stop for five minutes,” he sneers. “Jane’s on the phone. She can’t find Brian.”

“We don’t know where he is,” Roger quips.

You move Roger’s hands from your waist and hurry to the phone. “Hey Jane. What’s going on?”

Her voice is angry and rushed. “Where is he?” she seethed. “I know you know where he is.”

“Slow down. Let’s try to figure this out,” you say, trying to calm her down. “There’s a reasonable explanation…”

“Don’t patronize me, Y/N,” she sneered. “Where is he??”

Your tone starts to get defensive. “Jane, I don’t know…”

“He did it again!” she yelled.

“Did what again?” you have no idea what she’s talking about.

She started to cry. “I’m sorry. This isn’t your fault.”

“Let me shower and I’ll come over,” you tell her before looking up and seeing Brian standing there with his finger over his lips. “It’ll be okay.”

She sighs and is apologetic. “No, I’ll be fine. I’m not feeling well. I’m probably overreacting.” You hear her sniffling. “I’m sorry. I needed to lash out at someone. I’ll be fine.” The phone clicks and the line goes silent.

“I fucked up,” Brian mumbles and sits next to you. Freddie and Roger walk over, and Mary comes out of the kitchen. “I try so hard to make her happy and I always end up fucking it up.”

You rub a hand on Brian’s back. “I’m sure whatever happened wasn’t that bad.”

Mary starts to giggle. “If it was, she wouldn’t be looking for you.” She sits on the other side of him and rubs his arm.

“I’ll go shower and go over there to see if I can help…” you start to say but are quickly interrupted.

“No!” Brian yells as he stands up. “You’ve already helped enough!” He storms out and goes to his flat.

Freddie glares at you. “What did you do?” You and Mary glare back at Freddie. “Y/N…” He never calls you by your actual name, so you can tell he’s upset with you, but he has no reason to be, as far as you’re concerned. Roger, on the other hand, gets an uncomfortable feeling thinking back to last night and walks out of the room, into your bedroom, and closes the door.

You slowly stand up, still glaring at Freddie and talk quietly, teeth gritted together. “I’m not responsible for any issues Brian and Jane have, Fred.”

He relaxes his glare into an easy look and puts a hand on your shoulder. “You’re either blind, stupid or in denial, and I know you’re not stupid or blind, Princess.”

“Fuck,” you whisper, your glare also easing. “The dress…”

“Yes, the fucking dress,” he interrupts. “What were you thinking?”

“I was thinking…” you try to reply. “I wasn’t thinking.” You sigh. “I need to talk to Rog.” You walk away, hurriedly, and go into your room.

He’s sitting on the bed with an expression on his face that you can’t quite read. When you walk in, he looks at you and smiles and beckons for you to sit next to him. “I love you,” he says softly as he looks into your eyes. “You did nothing wrong, you know.” You sigh and smile back, feeling relieved that he’s not upset with you. “If Bri can’t control himself, that’s not your fault.” He starts to chuckle. “Now how about that shower?”

You lean over and give him a soft but quick kiss. “Love you back,” you smile. “Let’s go.”

When the two of you are finished, you go back to your room to get dressed. Roger hasn’t fully moved in yet, but he kept some clothes at yours just in case. You’re both extremely startled when you’re greeted by Brian standing by the window.

“What the hell, mate?” Roger yells when you see him.

Brian turns to face the both of you. “We need to talk. All of us.”

[citycfangels]

text: raquel ⇄ charlie

Raquel: knock knock.

Raquel: nevermind forget knock knock almost jokes. Did you forget about the starving really hot girl in your apartment?

Raquel: is this is a hint for me to leave?

Raquel: maybe it isn't but I hope everything is okay. I'm worried.

Charlie: everything is okay, babe. i just ran to someone and i had to say hello

Charlie: i wouldn't forget about my almost naked, hot, starving girl.

Raquel: okay, just making sure. I wasn't thinking up crazy scenarios or anything. Nope.

Raquel: well I hope you wouldn't forget about me. Not even if you get amnesia or something. You're supposed to remember me forever.

Charlie: i wouldn't do that ever, babe.

Charlie: can i ask you something hypothetical, babe?

Raquel: well you're still away but you sure are making up for it by being cute. 😘

Raquel: ... what's the hypothetical????

Charlie: my face and my body makes it up for it, babe

Charlie: okay, i don't know how to say this so

Charlie: imagine a couple in which A and B are 'dating' but B is with C too

Charlie: what if A sees C cheating on them?

Raquel: this is a weird hypothetical. I just want you to know that.

Raquel: what are you trying to say?

Charlie: yeah, it sounds weirder that it did in my head

Charlie: i saw Nathan with another girl a moment ago. i don't know if he saw me but

Raquel: babe, nathan isn't even in town.

Raquel: I am with you and I know that I'm the bad guy in that relationship. I know you think he isn't right for me and that I should be with you, and I already said I would but you don't have to tell me he is cheating on me when he isn't even in town. He wouldn't do that to me.

Raquel: are you sure it was Nathan?

Raquel: i know how my last texts sounded and I don't want to call you a liar and I'm not it's just I was okay knowing that I was cheating on him. I was okay with being a bad person and not giving our relationship a shot. I was fine with being in love with you and not with him even when I knew I should be with him. And I know it's wrong that I might be a bit upset if that was him. I just didn't think someone would actually cheat on me. Maybe flirt with other girls or whatever but I don't know.

Raquel: shouldn't you be happy about this?

Charlie: then he lied to you.

Charlie: i know it sounds crazy but it was really him, with one of the girls that came to his promotion party. it may sound like something i'd say so you can finally break up with him, but it's not.

Charlie: no, it's not, i guess. i've never been in your position but i would have probably be upset too.

Charlie: as for me, i don't know. a part of me is because i always thought he was going to do something sooner or later to fuck things up between you two, but the other part of me doesn't want to see you upset.

Charlie: i'm sorry i'm the one breaking it to you.

Charlie: wait, did you just say you're in love with me?????

Raquel: no, if anyone had to tell me he was cheating on me I'd rather it be you.

Raquel: I'm sorry that you have to tell me and that I'm being this weird. I shouldn't care.

Raquel: I guess I'm not upset. I just I don't know. It just means our relationship went longer than it should have if we both weren't in it. It's just I was fine with being the bad person in this. It's just shocking to know that he wasn't the person I thought he was.

Raquel: of course I'm in love with you.

Charlie: no, i think it's something normal. you were in a relationship with him, even if you weren't as invested as you are in ours. still, i'm okay with you being weird about it.

Charlie: besides, i can't tell you how to feel about it. i had a feeling about him, but i hoped he was a good man. it was shocking to see him with his tongue down someone else's throat.

Charlie: damn. now i'm here smiling while looking at my phone like an idiot in the middle of the street.

Raquel: maybe I should just be happy for him. Maybe he found someone to be with just like how I'm with you.

Raquel: he is a good guy. Unless Im saying cheating makes you a bad person. I don't know because ifit does then I'm worse, right?

Raquel: then maybe you should get out of the middle of the street crazy person.

Charlie: if you tell me he is, i believe you. you're not a bad person for cheating, but there's people who won't see it the same way.

Charlie: who are you calling crazy now???

Raquel: maybe other people don't matter. At least not when it comes to this.

Raquel: I'm still calling you crazy. You're completely crazy. I'm the sane one in this relationship.

Charlie: you're right, they don't

Charlie: what did i do to deserve this attack?

Raquel: at least they don't matter when it comes to this and honestly the only person whose opinion really matters is yours

Raquel: you can't call it an attack if it's the truth.

Charlie: that's it, you just lost the privilege of seeing me cooking while naked, just wearing an apron.

Raquel: what?

Raquel: don't be a tyrannical dictator you cant just start taking things away from me. I can do that too you know. Or I can just go home.

Charlie: in that case i'm open to negotiate as soon as i'm home in a couple of minutes

Charlie: although i could do that without a problem because we're at my place, remember?

Raquel: which is exactly why I can go home if you want to start taking away reasons for me being here. There's no negotiation.

Charlie: oh, so you're there because of the nudity?

Charlie: i think i will cook with nothing under the apron then... if you're also naked.

Raquel: obviously. Nudity and the coffee and maybe the comfortable bed but that's it.

Raquel: do I really have to be naked? I was thinking of wearing a full on nun outfit for a change.

Charlie: and you're not there to see me read and look smart and sexy while i'm at it? now i'm hurt

Charlie: yes, you have. i'm not going to be the only one naked, right?

Raquel: eh maybe I am but that's just a bonus.

Raquel: depends... what are you going to do to convince me?

Charlie: for starters i'm going to cook you a decent meal instead of ordering food, whatever you want me to make with everything i bought. naked, of course, only wearing an apron

Charlie: then we'll see what happens. i haven't thought about it yet

Raquel: sounds like the beginning of a good plan.

Raquel: maybe you shouldn't overthink this. From the sounds of it food, maybe wine and you is a pretty solid plan.

Charlie: a good plan that will likely end up in sex

Charlie: i haven't bought wine but i'm sure i have something in there, you can look for it before i arrive

Raquel: Is that all you think about with me?

Raquel: I'll start the scavenger hunt now. hOpefully I find something good.

Charlie: not always, but it's what happens when i've been in my apartment with you for myself for two days in a row

Charlie: good luck, i'll be there in a few minutes

Raquel: really? So it's only because I've been here and it's not just because your mind just automatically goes to the gutter?

Raquel: So there's no weird stuff I shouldn't find? Nothing you want to hide from me?

Charlie: maaaaaybe yes, maybe not

Charlie: i have nothing to hide, what would i hide?

Raquel: I think that just means definitely yes.

Raquel: I don't know. Stuff. There could be a lot of things you can hide at your place. A collection of weird dolls, drugs, other girl's panties. The list is endless.

Charlie: busted

Charlie: i don't do drugs, i haven't fucked any other girl since we started being somewhat serious and i don't have creepy dolls. and the porn is on my laptop, so you won't find any porn either

Raquel: big time.

Raquel: Okay. I believe you. Not like you would find anything at my place if you did want to go snooping. i don't have anything from you

Charlie: i thought you'd have at least one t shirt at this point

Raquel: If I did I wouldn't be hiding it. Your t shirts are only yours while you wear them. Once they go on me they're mine.

Charlie: oh? then i'm never get them back?

Raquel: nope. They're mine now.

Charlie: well, keep them. i don't really mind you having them to be honest

Raquel: so should I take that as code for "sure babe, you can have all my shirts"?

Charlie: yes, you can have them. i can always buy new ones anyways and you look good in them

Raquel: you do know that that just means that you'll just always be buying shirts.

Charlie: i only ask you to not steal too many of them, or else i'll have none to wear

Raquel: you not wearing a shirt wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.

Charlie: in private, but me not wearing one in public and attracting too many girls at work? you're sure you want that?

Raquel: .... maybe I don't. You did say that you weren't seeing other girls so if we are going back to being exclusive, exclusive then they can look but they can't touch.

Charlie: i wasn't seeing other girls, so yeah, i can do that. i have no intentions of having anything with someone else if that's what you're asking

Raquel: it's not exactly what I was asking but it sorta is.

Raquel: there's just me for you and I know that now. I just wasn't sure if we were on the same page or not.

Raquel instagram post: https://78.media.tumblr.com/30e75391e84d85e259bea50f5133086d/tumblr_or6lnecFwu1w7ltgxo1_500.jpg Quellersmal When you’re completely okay with the thought of never wearing pants again. #mymanisnttheonlyonewithabs #nopantsforme #noshirtsforhim

Charlie: we are in the same page and you can have my shirts

Charlie: and by the picture you just posted, it seems like you're going pantless

Raquel: yessss I get a new part of my wardrobe.

Raquel: any objections?

Charlie: nope, no objections. you know i like your ass so much, so you won't hear a complaint from me

Charlie: it may distract me, but i won't whine about it, babe

Raquel: well distracting you is what I'm best at even if I do want you to get through your books.

Charlie: you're the best at it. your ass is distracting, especially when you're not wearing pants

Charlie: what if i don't read today and we do stuff together? watching a movie, for example

Raquel: sure we could do whatever you want. I think us taking a break from sex will actually be just what your neighbor wants. Either she is just not a nice person or she is just sick of hearing us. I went out and saw her and let's just say I didn't get a warm welcome. Hopefully for neighborly sake she is nicer to you.

Charlie: which one of them? is she the blonde one?

Raquel: yeah, I think she said her name was Candice or something.

Charlie: oh

Charlie: she's a bitch, don't pay attention to her. she's probably jealous.

Raquel: jealous? Why would she be jealous? She's a knock out and if I were completely single and in a world where you didn't exist maybe I would try to hook up with her

Charlie: i don't know, it was a guess

Charlie: i know, she's hot, but i find you hotter, babe

Raquel: I don't think I'm someone pther people would be jealous of. Even if I am pretty lucky and I have you.

Raquel: you are winning a lot of boyfriend points. But since when is leggy beautiful blonde not your type?

Charlie: yesh, you're lucky bc you're with me, but you're hot and smart, so that's hitting the jackpot

Charlie: i'll be honest with you: i hooked up with her once, she became clingy and i don't do clingy

Charlie: don't worry about her, okay? she may be jealous and bitchy but i'm with you, babe

Raquel: when did you hook up with her?

Raquel: was it when we were together?

Charlie: no

Charlie: it happened at some point in those four months after we broke up. i can't recall when, but we weren't together at that point, that's for sure

Charlie: she's the only girl i regret hooking up with, and that says a lot coming from me

Raquel: right, because you have hooked up with so many girls.

Raquel: it's not that I don't appreciate your honesty. I do. I just don't know how I'm supposed to feel knowing that some girl you hooked up with a) lives so close and b) still acts like she has some sort of claim over you.

Raquel: I guess I was okay with not knowing who you hooked up with but now it's like I can picture it. You with her and I hate it because I know I shouldn't worry. I know I should just be fine with it but right now I don't know.

Raquel: I'm not upset but maybe I should go home (unsent)

Charlie: she's pretty much aware of me not wanting anyone but you at this point, so she won't make a move. or at least i hope she doesn't pull off any shit.

Charlie: the only girl i want is you, babe. isn't that enough? she may live next door, but i wouldn't go to her ever, not even if things get rough between us.

Raquel: are you 100% sure? I don't want you to wake up one day and realize that you want her and just go next door because I am in this. There is no one else for me. What happened with Nathan and us breaking up was a mistake. I know that now and I know you're saying I'm the only girl you want now, but I don't want those to be just words. You gave me time to figure things out and if you need the same then I can give you time. I just don't want you making a decision you might regret later. She isn't the only one that can be clingy or obsessive.

Charlie: babe, why are you insecure?

Charlie: sure, she's hot, she has the legs and the body and she looks like a damn model, but that means nothing to me if she's ugly inside. you're beautiful outside too, but what makes you different from her is that i fucking like you for who you are. you're beautiful inside.

Charlie: i would never go to her, i'm 100% sure of that. i don't even need time to think about it.

Raquel: I'm insecure because the fact that you're with me still baffles me. You could be with any girl in the world.

Raquel: can you just come home please?

Charlie: i could, but i chose you

Charlie: let me take the elevator and i'll be there

Raquel: i guess I choose you too. And I'm going to keep choosing you until you get sick of me.

Raquel: chop chop.

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Poor Pablo

Jimmy: You here? Janis: standing to attention, like Janis: what's up? Jimmy: Can I stay at yours tonight like? Janis: 'Course, my Dad already extended the offer when he was trying to parent me lol Janis: Yours doing your head in? Jimmy: Seriously though? I'll sleep in the bath and try not to have Skerries flashbacks. Give a shit Jimmy: Yeah Janis: You don't have to Janis: though I've been told its comfier than you'd imagine if you're feeling it Janis: What's his damage...not ideal they had to call the parentals in but it is just detention, not a court date, y'know? Janis: I'd have figured out a way to take all the blame if I knew he'd go off Janis: Wank bank fantasy getting outta hand in the stalls? 🤔😉 Jimmy: It's an excuse for him to get at me, that's it Jimmy: Doesn't really matter what the drama is Jimmy: 😍 Proper romantic you 💕 Janis: Yeah Janis: Suppose it'd make a nice change to have you as the bad guy for once, eh? Janis: fuck that though Janis: Who me? Janis: never Jimmy: What d'you mean 😎👎💔 Jimmy: I'm so bad Janis: Very bad boy, NOT bad guy, waaaaaay different vibe Janis: Silly Jimmy: Good save Janis: Not a goalie or a superhero Janis: but Janis: 💪 Jimmy: 🏆 Jimmy: What time can I come over? Freezing here casually Janis: Come over now idiot Janis: Be doing me a favour anyway, be your charming self so I can escape the fam Jimmy: Done Jimmy: Want me to bring you anything? I'm thinking chips but no pressure Janis: Quite the offer Janis: but no need Janis: there's always so much food going in this gaff Janis: may as well help yourself Jimmy: Yeah? Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: I'm just gonna get Cass to bring me some stuff out #doorstepdrama Jimmy: Like fuck am I gonna come back here any earlier than needs Janis: That's fun 😒 free entertainment for the neighbours, nice one 👍 Janis: at least Cass'll get a kick out of helping the outcast hero Janis: Best to let him have his paddy, yeah, he'll be begging you back when he can't figure out where the kid's school shoes are Jimmy: I wouldn't bother but I need my charger in case Bobby can't sleep. Cass shouldn't have to handle that on her own Jimmy: She's be the definition of #buzzing for this part at least Jimmy: Maybe Twix'll shit in his shoes this time, 'cause bitch be loyal Janis: Shame you can't bring them both but kidnap would technically be something to shout about Janis: They'll be alright though, she's a tough cookie and a smart kid Janis: Get Grace to facetime him a bedtime story, he'd love that and she'd feel like she's doing jackanory, like Janis: We can only hope girl comes thru Jimmy: He'll take her up on that if I don't. Boy is 💕 for Gracie Jimmy: You're not about to get off light though, Cass wants to hear from you that I'm alright Jimmy: My word isn't worth a damn apparently Janis: She ain't offering for you! Even if you're currently in her good books for taking a 🔥 photo, like Janis: Still not good enough to be her fave 🤷 Janis: Tough ground Janis: Well, she's got you there, you're not the best at using 'em 😏 100% taking the fact I'm being considered the reliable one for once Jimmy: You win this round Jimmy: Don't get too comfy with it though Jimmy: I am on my way Janis: S'lonely at the top Janis: Get on my level, boy 🥇 Jimmy: 🎻 Janis: rude Janis: biting the hand that feeds Jimmy: Learning from your true love like Janis: I won't stand such slander on her good name Janis: she's a revenge shitter only not a biter 😂 Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: I'm having a smoke, you joining me or am I coming knocking? Janis: Lungs won't thank me but Pablo would if he knew how close he was to getting a smackdown Janis: Save me some I'm running Jimmy: *He took it easy on this one (not for her sake, you snooze you lose, mate) having been puffing away consistently since he slammed the door on his dad's ranting 'cause he'd needed to calm down. Or shut down. Naturally, it crept up on him, as persistent, which is why he's here, huddled in another cold doorway, waiting for a distraction that'll have him forgetting the barney his dad started days before and wasn't done with yet. Argumentative prick. Jimmy was happy to let Janis have that win, the only where he wouldn't (and couldn't) compete being in this, in drowning out the shit with something that isn't. There's no hiding the smile when he sees her, if the shadows do let him get away with it, they won't for long 'cause he's closing the gap between them instantly, refusing as much of the space as he can without giving himself away for doing it as he passes the cigarette over.* Janis: *She takes the cigarette like its second-nature, kiss on his cheek, feeling the familiar dimple of his smile, like they are too. Far from it on both counts. She's not a smoker, she needs her lungs clear and strong. And she's not in love, same reasons for her heart. Simple as. Still, she could enjoy the benefits of both without committing, couldn't she? Why not. It's not like she's faking either, just...dipping her toes. Only likely to incur minor damage, she reckoned she could take that and still get away laughing. Sure. Long drag before passing it back because without needing to even look his way, (though she did regardless, studious expression taking in his tight, stressed as shit, posture right now), she knew he needed it more. Janis jogs her legs up and down, 'brring' in the cold Winter night air.* You alright then? *She adds, as if they're just meeting on her doorstep by chance, not for reason. She smirks, shaking her head at herself, nudging his side.* Jimmy: *With the cigarette back between his fingers and the girl by his side he gets what he needs, the familiarity a reminder that this is his normal, not what he rushed to leave behind. To pick up his girlfriend for dinner his dad will have to drop this, rely on moody silence to show how he really feels and his own fakery, in this woman's company, for what he thinks he should. They all know how to handle the first, years under their belts, and the second idea's even more temporary. Fuck it. Jimmy could make a single cigarette last longer than his dad's current relationships, and had done, sometimes. Not this one though. Nah. He wasn't the dickhead to keep his girlfriend shivering while he pissed about blowing smoke in the dark. He took a final drag before flicking it away to meet Janis's contact with his own, using his now free hand to gently brush a loose curl from her cheek.* Yeah, mate, you? Janis: *Janis scrunches her nose up, batting his hand away, mix of bashfulness and banter, blown with a raspberry. Turns out, sex is alright, stunning review there, indescribably better than alright obviously but- its the smaller, everyday moments of intimacy, that had flown under her radar when she wasn't receiving them, that she still finds herself flinching from, or covering up said flinch with some kind of bullshit she finds it easier to wear, to shoulder.* Fine. *She blurts out, flustered and being a little sharp with it. Get it together. More jokes, forever skirting around serious, not getting too real or too deep 'cos they both know there's no coming back and why ruin it and- She peers at him, like he's a dog in Crufts, pretending to shine a torn in his eyes, checking his teeth, that kinda shit.* Hmm, healthy enough specimen. Gonna give me anything else to give to your Sister though, like? Dunna if 'yeah' is gonna get her off the phone in a hurry, to be honest. Not that I give a shit, or nothin', don't get it twisted. *She grins, turning to the door and then back again, lingering, reluctant to open the door yet, knowing they'd get descended upon by someone almost immediately. All fun and games. Still, there wasn't a world in which she was gonna turn him down and have him out on the street, like. No way.* Jimmy: *He plays along as though it's still a game and why not? He's just admitted to himself how used to fakery he is, being a family trait like, with both of them for him to thank. Not that he's sparing a thought for his mum, first or second. Not now. He told himself no more slips with the girl beside him and meant that just as much. More. It's easier to stick to on every level, and he does, ruffling her hair fully when he gets the chance. Eyebrows raised and an expression of his own ready to wear. This, he can keep up all night, same as the exaggerated huff that he let's escape, like a Twix snore, into the night along with the shrug that follows.* Use your skills, throw in as many hashtags as it takes to put her at ease. Throw in a selfie if she still isn't convinced. Me sleeping sound should do it. * He's joking but not wrong for it, not able to remember a time when he fell asleep before the other two. Cass'd be beyond 'shook' to even see a fake out of him getting a good forty winks. Jimmy smirks through the thought, forcing it to pass.* You got this, girl* He retorts it in the best mimicry of how Mia and that crowd speaks that his accent can do, wincing slightly both at the impression and idea of them being around. Still, he claws some of his 'clout' back with a challenging look that adds 'What else have you got.' 'cause who are they if there's not a challenge ongoing. As if to emphasis this, he goes towards the door himself, pushing it open with more daring than he actually feels. * Gonna invite me in then, or what? Janis: *She kisses her teeth angrily, full on 'boy, if you don't stop-' vibes, planting a balled fist in his stomach, gentle warning like, no need to assault him before the family saw to it with their over-the-top nature and curiosity. She knew it would but it was getting to her more than she imagined even. The cooing and awwing or the piss-taking and wink-wink nudge-nude of it all, whatever approach they took, why did they have to? What business was it of theirs? Of anyones? Why did there always have to be a song and dance about everything? The hot takes she'd never ask for. Ruined everything. Why did they care? About this? About her? Just fuck right off. Messy. Too messy. Family, feelings- fuck it all. She used to kid herself, couple of years ago, when it happened, that she'd move out as soon as she could and that'd be it. They'd leave her alone. And she could just exist. Run, sleep and repeat. And that is all she'd have to do. No thinking or feeling ever. But she knew better now. They weren't just going to disappear, even if she changed postcodes. Even Edie couldn't manage that. And she had really tried. The others didn't want to. So she was stuck. Here in the land of the living. Forced to participate, like it or not. Then Jim had come along. Made her like it, a little bit, like. And he'd made her think maybe she could add to her shortlist of approved activities. But let her think about that for too long and she always came to the same conclusion; that she was a fucking idiot and it'd all end in tears. She sighed, overexaggerating it last minute to pretend it was in reply to his showy huffing and puffing.* Not my skill-set, kid. You were always better at it than me. Not just the snappin', like. Right up until you jumped ship for a pretty face, #commitment. *She laughs.* But for Cass, I'll see what I can do. *Cringing at the accent-attempt and gasping in mock-horror at the invocation of Mia and co. (as if say their names three times and they'll appear to tell you your outfit is ugly) she puts a finger to his lips, pushing him behind her at the same time so she can lead the way in too.* Ta-dah! *She flourishes, with a shrug to say 'you asked for this' 'cos there was no hiding now. The downstairs open-plan, parentals unconvincingly 'busying' themselves in the kitchen. Iggy, Diego, Gus and (thank fuck, 'cos we know who's the likeliest to be a prick here) Pablo so far unaccounted for, Grace watching telly, curled up with her phone as per. Janis was ready to bolt up to her room, not so much as a hello but reckoned Jimmy wouldn't want the rep of being her 'rude boyfriend' (as concerned as he was with opinion clearly, bless) so she shouts out 'Jim's here', eyes on the stairs, giving them five seconds to respond before she was up 'em, like.* Jimmy: *The house makes him feel the same as it did the first time he was here once he's through the door again, thankfully though the urge to whistle is muted today, full of sobriety as he is, in every sense. He knew her family weren't renters in over their heads like his from day 1, it isn't just that like. He isn't just some reverse snob, it's everything here they haven't had to buy, and he couldn't if he had armfuls of cash. The 'vibe' he'd probably call it if he was Grace or her crowd. Still, he nods at everyone about as if it's common place for him to him to be greeted by a warmth that's nowt to do with temperature.* Evening. *He's got his smile back on but Jimmy's hand is scratching the back of his neck before he can stop it giving him away and all he can do is 'reckon' on Janis being too caught up on her own family dynamics to call him out for his lack of. That's the real #goals, isn't it? He thinks to himself, trying to shake these feelings off him without moving. Or sighing. You massive dickhead. Grace waves at him without looking up from her phone screen, a slice of his home life #relatable enough he can follow her sister's gaze with a decent smirk and a readiness to deal with what's gonna come down. Need's must had him here in the first place, alright, but now he's made it as far as asking to be let in, he'd like to stay. Not only be a grumpy twat Janis is stuck with, but a laugh she wants to stay about. In her gaff and out of it. When nobody immediately appears he heads up himself, not forgetting her insistence to lead the way before, he looks over his shoulder at her, obvious with it that's there's nowt for her to do now but keep up.*  Unlucky, mate. You're not getting off that easy, we've got a whole night ahead. Janis: *Janis is holding herself rigid, eyes fixed as tight and strong on her parents letting them know in no uncertain terms to behave...and they did? Leaving it at cheery hellos and promises of dinner being done in about half an hour if they fancied it. Hm. First time for everything. Letting disbelief at their ability to be normal for once in their friggin' lives (where had this been all the other times she'd begged them/the universe for it?!) carry her up the stairs behind Jim. She let him flounder in the burrow-like corridors of upstairs, so different to the openness of the downstairs, that'll teach you to go ahead, boy, she thought with a smirk, now pushing in front with arms wide open.* Pick a door, any door! *She laughed, heading to her own before he actually did, not knowing who was in.* Welcome to my humble-abode... *She added, as they were over the threshold, kicking her gym bag, over-spilling with laundry, aside. She sat down on her unmade bed to assess, from outsiders, from his, eyes. Not here enough anymore that it was critically messy, that was good; old posters covering up old holes in the plaster from older anger, nothing cringe, thankfully but- It was a bit sad, to be honest...bare, lacking...anything, personality, life. She sighed. Red-faced from embarrassment and redder still from anger at feeling that embarrassment. She didn't care about herself, yeah. And what? And what is that her room said as much in no uncertain terms and having him see it was just- well. Shaming. Time for a joke.* If this setting don't get you in the mood, I don't know what will. Jimmy: *10 kids, he reminds himself, when he reaches the top and is met with an upstairs that belongs to a different house. That disconnect continues, growing, when Janis opens one of the doors in the maze. Hers. He's got no room to judge, none of his house looks lived in yet, as if Cass can protest having to by refusing to help unpack, knowing he doesn't have (or want to make, 'cause there's enough stuff in there for it to be boring, but then there's what's missing too, which is worse. Depressing.) the time to tackle the unopened box on his own after months. He isn't. Judging, that is. But he can't stop himself looking about, eyes focusing again on what there is, and isn't. What it means. And doesn't. Fuck. What a pair, they are like. Jimmy has to say something, silence will have her thinking all kinds of shit that isn't right. Least of all that he's a twat. Which, sort of is. He's equipped to be that though, which is something. He can easily grin at her, fall into simple, old habits. Banter by numbers that'll be #nodrama for her to throw back at him. 'Cause whatever his dad might think right now, he's not the dickhead trying to make everything harder. Why would he? The day to day shit already has that covered. So he aims his biggest 'heart eyes' at her, from the earliest days of their fakery, hiding any real expression in the over-the-topness of it all, for her as much as him (he tells himself, without needing much convincing with the blush spotted. It isn't thanks his charms, they both know. But in a second they can pretend it's his cringe factor.)* Only got eyes for you, babe. We could be anywhere. *Still, even as he's mocking himself with mimicking throwing up in his mouth, before she can, naturally, passed that, somewhere real he's deciding that should she suggest getting out of here to elsewhere tonight he's not about to fight it. Wherever they end up. #nocringe. It'd be too much of a lie to act like asking to come here was too much and everything that's come after, as a result, is too. He shouldn't have done it and there's no wonder everything's been off since. Her room could be the same as downstairs and he wouldn't wanna stay there, would he? It's his 'vibe' fucking things. Cheers dad. Jimmy sighs, throwing himself on the bed, and turning it into the appreciative whistle he didn't do at the door. Fucking hell.* Janis: *The eye-roll comes so hard it has her reeling, spinning out in her own head. At least, its better for them both if she pretends that's what's got her feeling dazed and disorientated. Sick with not knowing how to play this. No 'oh my, a boy in my room!' giddiness, fuck that shit. It was 'oh my, having to spend time in this depressing pit'. And his hand forced to spend his time here too. It'd be different if he had wanted to. Maybe. Okay, probably not. But if he had wanted to then they really wouldn't care where they were, paying no mind to anything but each other, not like his car was a lambo or like she'd given two fucks then, so it might've been tolerable. Ignorable, at the very least. But he HAD to be here. Nowhere else to go. That paired with how this room inadvertently showed all her cards had her feeling as bare as their surroundings, #exposed as they would say for the craic. Not that she was mad at him for not begging to sleepover just 'cos he wanted her so bad, again, fuck that shit hard. Not that girl. Everything was just weird and off and it didn't lend itself to a good night's sleep for either of 'em, she was willing to bet. She shrugged, those muscles so overworked, never skipped, massaging at the tension there in vain. Bounced from the dramatic way he flung himself down, she rests herself down on her elbow beside him, face to face.* If you want, we can go to the Barn. Its kitted out, like- *She pauses, thinking back on the times when it had been a place they all made Diego's films together, the times it had been Edie and Rio's bedroom, sneaking in there with them, leaving Grace alone in the dark of their old shared room. Now, well- She spent even less time in there than she did here. Only venturing when it was so dark and she felt so alone, it just felt right to hide out in there; harking back to all those many nights she'd sneak out, praying Edie would be there again, and to the one night, she was. Tucked up in her bed as if she'd never left. As if she wasn't really there. But she was. She was. And she'd gestured for her to get in with her and they'd just held each other...Janis holding on for dear life, determined to NEVER let go, so she couldn't leave again. She thought she felt the same desperation, in the way her big sister clutch to her too, almost hurting her but she would have never of complained. Determined to keep her in sight, eyes wide open and staring into hers, barely visible in the dark but there. She was there. Of course, she had fell asleep, and of course, when she awoke, the sun was up and Edie was gone. She was just a fucking kid, like. 'A fucking failure is what you were. And are.' She shook her head. At least the barn HAD memories, more than you could say of the box room she'd relegated herself too. No longer able, or needing to share with anyone. Not Grace. Or Rio and Edie. They'd all gone. Empty rooms to fill.* All mod cons and a comfy bed, like. But you can keep that between us and add to your sob story, yeah? *She mimics the tiny violin he was always sending, #IRLShade like, hoping the piss-taking would distract from the disjointed nature she'd made that offer in. Ghosts refusing to let her go, let her be with him fully. She never could be. It was the sad kind of hurt when you just know, know that whatever you're doing, or want to do, won't work. And knowing this and knowing you're gonna hurt the other person, so far so clueless. Oh, Jim. Why do you think I was on my own when you met me, boy?* Jimmy: *He's fucked it instantly, looking at her too hard, all the bollocks stripped back and away by how close she is, suddenly, though he should have expected it. Not like her bed's big enough for anything much else, but he never does, somehow. Still. Ever. Breathing hurts but he forces himself not to keep it shallow, refusing to swap places so soon when she was meant to be the one swooning. Fake or not. And there's so much real shit he wants to say, but can't. Again, too much. It leaves him only inhaling and sighing, brooding like the kinda poser he isn't trying to be on any day. Least of all this one. Does it matter though? It doesn't feel like it when his hand drops before it can reach out, touch her in any way, jokes as out of bounds as anything. He isn't meant to be lost with her, but tonight doesn't give a fuck about that, does it? He jumps on the offer a change, nodding, frantic for a kick that'd have him behaving like less of a dick. Please. The fucking break he hasn't asked her for is there, inching closer to letting itself be said, and he's scared of that, going there like.* Alright. *He wants to give himself a smack for how quiet he sounds. Serious. Okay knobhead, calm it. Good luck following that through when you know you've got none though, Jim. He's up and taking her hand before he can dwell on it, moving to take the lead as far as retracing their steps and being out. He can handle that geography. Jimmy does allow himself a pause small enough only to draw a cross over his heart playfully once she's played the violin for him. Thanks, mate. It's almost spoken aloud 'cause of the relief the familiarity of it , brought here and now, comforts him. Alright, calm it again, tosser. But yeah, that works, letting him. He walks stretching their linked hands as far as possible while staying connected, laughing genuinely, still soft but out there. He draws a quick tick over the same space, hurriedly.* Done. Janis: Alright. *She confirms with a nod as serious as his close-to-silence was. Couldn't accuse him of being a man of too MANY words usually, like, but still, spoke volumes, didn't it? Could write friggin' volumes on how badly she was fucking it up with him now. That's what you did after break-ups, right? Write wanky (in all the ways) poetry. Fuck that. Get the fuck out of your own head, fucking eejit! Now! He's still here yet. She seized the conversation by the balls, 'fore it got away from her grasp again, immediately adding-* Alright, alright, alright! *Matthew McConaughey style. 'Cos Christ, someone had to cut through the tension and she weren't about to invite the fam up to give it a go. Fuck that, too. Even if it was awkward as arse, to say the least, and the dead and buried past was unearthing itself just to try drag her under tonight- she still wanted it to be just them. Him and her, fuck the rest. And that was something. Even if that was all she could get, all she still had. She'd cling to that with bleeding, broken nails, jaw clamped, teeth sunk deep in the flesh of it. It was something. She was so fucking used to, so fucking sick of, nothing. A promise, or a prayer, she repeated it over and over, 'til she near believed it herself. With this in mind, she pulls on the hand that is leading her, pulls him back, understanding his rush and only wanting to slow it for one thing. She mimics shooting him where he had been tracing, where she wants to trail her own fingers badly, as he draws in, she puts her fist over his heart, thumping up and down, up and down, before exploding out- And with that, she kisses him, as desperate as he was to take up her offer and run, she needed this more. And she had never known anything she needed more than to run. But she did. She did.* Done. *She mirrors, drawing her lips away from his, with a smirk. Ahead again, one foot on the top step.* Jimmy: *He's about to descend back into mockery, the words 'all about the obscure refs, you' there, ready to go if he's willing to release them, thoughts already going backward, onto the typed convo where she tried to give him an artsy education, school him about muses, all of that, but before he can take the step she's pulling him, literally to where she's forced a stop. In the first second he's tense, thinking it's a full one, that she's done with him and the company he isn't being tonight, but before he can fall further into his pit (he's in there enough, prior that she's tried to dig at him with her best McConaughey, for fuck's sake) he all but floats out. There's no # that could cover this in his stunted imagination, he thinks, before his brain shuts off. The kiss is more than the break he didn't have the balls to ask for (though it lasts about as long as the one he'd gave her, standing on some twat's marble floor). It's a separation from all the shit that's been running him ragged for days, forcing him to run here in the first place. Jimmy knows then that he'll stay, has to, not 'cause there's nowhere else to go, but 'cause nowhere else exists when she kisses him like that. Fuck. It basically escapes, not as the word, but in sound that he can't escape either. Doesn't want to. The only thing he cares about is keeping this close to her and knowing she's alright with him being there. More than fucking alright like.* Nah mate *He retorts breathlessly, clawing back some strength back only as his hands find her hips and use the grip he's found there to spin her body round to face him. He isn't done yet, there's no chance. Not now she's given him one to erase the last few days and land him back into decent ones with her. Jimmy's an echo of how he was after running from Mr Lucas and he's not letting go of that. What for? 'Cause his dad wants him to. Fuck that and fuck him. What was he done with was feeling like shit. So of course he kissed her again, sinking only into the depths of that, trying to say everything with it that he couldn't verbally. Needing to have a go even though it meant hearing Janis' clatter into the beginnings of the banister with the force of everything he was desperate for her to know, 'cause if he pulled back then that'd be it and he's not having that. Fuck no. He's lost enough, tonight's bed being the least of it. Janis: *If she was going to complain, (she wasn't), he doesn't give her the time, or space, to do so. Exactly what they both needed; and she didn't need to reckon that. Crashing together, crashing into the wall, like. No room for anything to come between 'em, not their thoughts or past or any of that bullshit; all blurring into background nothingness, where it belonged. In these moments, there was nothing but them and their need. And it was good. Really good. The kind of good she didn't need to second-guess or overthink. Just be in it and soak in every second, every touch, the heat and feel of his skin against hers, alive, human, real. The violence of the urgency, the competitive one-upping- Not only keeping it interesting (to say the fucking least) but keeping it as something she could understand, something that didn't scare the living shit out of her, frankly. Easy as breathing, this; Though both theirs was heavy now, laboured from the control of letting some of said go, whilst not losing themselves to it so wholly that they alerted someone to it, spoiling their fun for the second time in a week. A game of meeting every kiss of his with more, and then some. Biting, tugging at his bottom lip in, trying in vain to make the kiss even deeper. Nails dug into his shoulders, pulling him down with her as her back slid down the wall, him sat at the top of the stairs, her on his lap. 'How did you stop yourself though?' A faint voice in the back of her mind pondered, with no intention to found within her. Clearly, they needed the Mr. Lucas' of the world or they'd never get anything else done. Clearly channeling the man himself, Pablo chose this time to appear out of his room, quite literally stumbling onto the scene, and them, Janis sticking out an arm (and jumping off Jim's lap) with lightning reflexes so he didn't topple down the fucking stairs.* Oops, watch it... *She didn't have time (nor desire) to be embarrassed. Her older Brother's mumbly, half-asleep grumbles of 'a-fucking-gain? Really Janis?!' and promises to 'have words with you, later!' to Jim, had her creasing. When Pablo was out of sight, and out of mind as soon as, she rested her head on the shoulder she'd left nailmarks in, kissing it gently though she wasn't particularly sorry about it.* Jimmy: *It isn't until she has to save him from hitting the bottom of the stairs with a thud that he even sorts out in his head again where they are, beyond the abstract bollocks of 'together' and all that. It takes that much to get through to him, but he isn't sorry, 'cause he isn't alone in it. If he's falling, figuratively as well as the near literal, then she is too. And that's alright by him. More than fucking alright, as per like. Jimmy can laugh through this interruption, at what it takes to pull them apart now (unlucky Mr Lucas but you probably won't cut it next time) adding to it himself with the breathless whisper of 'fucking hell, mate' that finds only her ear as he shakes his head affectionately at the pair of 'em. Janis' brother's appearance (along with anything he might have said) forgotten as soon as it's happened, same as before. If they'd been any room for it he might have felt bad for the lad, keeping mugging him off like that, but he still wants what he wants. Needs, honestly. There's no forgetting, or ignoring that any 'itch' has only been scratched so far as to make it more 'itchier', more noticeable in the first place. It's a crap analogy but it's what's there as he pulls her down the stairs and back towards the door, rougher and noisier that he would if he could make a string of thoughts or words fit together properly to promise her that this still isn't done. Jimmy 'reckons' in a semi coherent idea that he'll barricade the barn door with any or all manner of shit, once they are there,  to guarantee no more interruptions tonight. Bet on that, mate, his expression says, as they go. Jinx. Fuck. He almost kicks the door in frustration upon hearing the shout for dinner, her dad's head catching them as 'ready' for it. Pfft. No chance. It smells good, yeah, but there's no contest. Janis feels, looks and smells incredible like. Meals can wait, they always did at his, even when he had his mum there to do his job of moving a tray of something from freezer to cooker, or his pop's of fetching a takeaway when in from work, there was no sitting down at a this or that time. No table to eat at either, just the sofa, or his bed when he was being the type of utter dickhead that only a certain age manages, whenever it was put in front of him. Here at Janis, that time, was right now. And worse, ('cause of course there's worse with his English luck) before he can do a dash that'd have that school day looking like slo-mo, his stomach rumbles, sealing the deal and their fates. His girlfriend has never let him go hungry yet. Shit. To be continued then.*