#you carry the serotonin

[just-french-me-up]

psssst... add that Florence + The Machine song to that playlist. Add that Hozier song. Add that Mitski song. Add that popular bop. Someone's art touched you to your core and relates to you, as it did with millions of other people

that's not cliché

that's the fucking human experience, gorgeous

[spiderthread]

why don't you let yourself be gently peeled off the ground and tossed across the back of a horse like a sack of potatoes by the most handsome man in china, then maybe you'll calm down

(+ bonus:)

[dannydoesnotexist]

Prince Richard Banes everybody, the only man who can out-bottom Izzy Hands

[es-peon]

The answer is always yes unless you’re asking me to show you my 2016 search history in which the answer is no. Not out of pride but simply because i’d like to hold onto the itty bitty shred of dignity I still have left.

[sh1-n0bu]

✿ 𝙟𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙤𝙪𝙨 ✿

characters: jing yuan x gn!reader

warnings: fluff, bad attempt at humor, reader is immortal, established relationship, jing yuan being jealous, found family slightly in there, yanqing coming in at the wrong time pt19487288482877

notes: i have fed yall enough horny food. now its time for fluff food aka small dosage of serotonin. open wideeeee🚂🚂🚂

the constant noise of your irritated lover was something that you disregarded with little to no attention. you could feel it after all. that familiar feeling of your husband’s eyes boring into the back of your skull like the insanely heavy glaive he carries. it wasn’t exactly a common feeling to receive but on the moments that it happens, you could never forget the feeling.

you can just imagine it already. the pout pulling on the white haired man’s lips, the slight narrowing of his eyes, the impatient thumps of his feet rapidly hitting the floor as small sparks of lightning would float around him. of course, you can’t forget the iconic, “what about me?” puppy eyes he pulls.

“beloved” the deep baritone voice of jing yuan calls out, sounding way too serious for anyone’s comfort. if his soldiers that stand guard inside his office would still be around, they would be shivering in their armory from the sheer amount of unsettling feeling it brought. it wasn’t like that they have never seen their general angry or serious. it was just that, it rarely happens and so much fewer now since he was nearing his retirement.

turning around from what you were most greatly occupied with, you give him a few seconds of acknowledgment. finally, you were looking at him now. your eyes on him, the brightest stars he loved to gaze into even as the ever burning ones around him twinkles. you were always his favorite.

“jing yuan” you simply hum with a nod before turning back to what you were obsessing over. the loud dramatic gasp that comes from where your husband is barely fazes you, as you knew he was simply trying to get your attention. you knew your husband like the back of your hand and you knew for a fact that he wasn’t hurt as he shows himself to be.

“how dare you!” the man’s voice raises a bit, the sound of his steps sounding heavier than usual as he finally comes behind you to sweep you up into his arms. you immediately let out a soft grunt, feeling his strong arms tighten around you possessively as he refuses to let you go. instead, he pulls your smaller form flush against himself, face buried into the crook of your neck with a "hmph!". such a big baby you were married to.

"jing yuan, let go of me" you say, not bothering to wiggle yourself out of his grasp since you knew it would be an impossible task. your husband can be dangerously clingy and possessive at times and this was definitely one of those times.

"nuh.." your husband immediately rebuttals, shaking his face and proceeding to nuzzle his face further into the crook of your neck. deeply inhaling your scent, you could see his broad shoulders visibly relax and slump to indicate that he was calming down from his earlier mini temper tantrum. the two of you stay like that for a while. you, held captive in his arms as your husband takes his time to cuddle you close to himself. as close as fleshly possible. not even single moment for something else to wedge between the two of you, not even the cool air of his office. if there were to be the smallest bit of distance between the two of you, he would be extremely deprived of his already dangerously low level of [name] affections.

you had been away to the xianzhou zhuming for a business trip. as one of the most accomplished merchant and the head of the trade association, sometimes your work required you to move back and forth between places, worlds and even galaxies. and this time was no different as your business partner of long time in the xianzhou zhuming had come to a stalemate in their business there due to the ipc's recent dabbling in the xianzhou alliance's trading business. it had dragged on way longer than what you would've liked which also translated to an extended period of time of not seeing your husband, your son and daughter all together. a time away that your clingy husband took very badly, even worse than your son and daughter.

but not for you, as the first thing you did upon coming back from the trip and stepping in through the large doors of his office was to head straight towards your daughter - mimi. the large lion was sulking quietly in his office ever since you went away for your business trip, constantly pawing at jing yuan's clothes and whining for your presence. and upon seeing your face, she immediately pounced in your direction, wasting no time as she pushed you down into the hologram showcasing the large starchess board as she licked all over your face. an act of affection that you returned with a hearty laugh and kisses to her adorable fluffy face. an act of affection that your husband was very very very jealous of.

he was supposed to be the one to tackle you down and pepper your face in kisses and in return have his face peppered in kisses in return! not mimi!

and yes, jing yuan was jealous over his own fluffy daughter stealing his spouse away from him. blatantly, unabashedly, without shame was jealous over. which led to now, in you being trapped in his inescapable hold. really, the galls of this man.

"mmrrp? mrreeow?" mimi meows, butting her head against jing yuan's legs to get his attention while also making it sound as if she wanted the attention back on her again. it was tough having not one but two needy lions scampering for your attention.

"mimi, you have already had enough of their attention. now it's my turn with my own spouse!" jing yuan chides the lion softly, making her let out an irritated huff. mimi wanted her parent's attention but jing yuan also wanted his spouse's attention. it was a tug of war between the two lions with you as their unfortunate victim.

after many back and forths between the two lions, jing yuan had decided he had enough and decided to swoop you off of your feet. quite literally. the smug bastard had kicked your legs under you, making you fall back into a dip with a startled gasp. giving you an "i told you so" look, your husband cups your cheek in the palm of his hand before leaning in to place a fluffy of kisses on your face. cheeks, the bridge of your nose, forehead, chin, eyelids, lips - nowhere was free from the mercy of his kisses and jing yuan was going to make the whole world be reminded that you two were happily married.

"general! i heard that [name]'s bac-EWWWW!!!" the sudden barging in of you two's son is what finally separates you from his barrage of kisses. turning to look at his son, jing yuan makes a shooing motion with his hand - momentarily letting go of you cheek in the process - with mimi.

"me and [name] are busy right now, yanqing. take mimi out for a walk for an hour or two" the white haired man says without an ounce of shame, your breathless self still in his hold. reluctantly, yanqing does as told, calling mimi to his side to leave you two lovebirds be for some time. but not without one final word of advice.

"wait until back home at least, you two!!" and with that, your son and daughter were gone, leaving you both behind to have at least a small dose of affection that the both of you were deprived off of. with an amused chuckle at his son's words, he shakes his head before turning to you with his resting cat face. pair of golden eyes crinkling as mirth and devotion dance in them while his lips pull upwards into the genuine smiles he permanently has on his face whenever you were in his line of sight. all jing yuan could do was thank the reignbow arbiter and every aeons out there for granting him to be able to live in the same time as you.

"how i am blessed to be with you, my most beloved"

[loveforquanrui]

the love I hold for you

제로베이스원 - jebewon as things they would definitely do as boyfriends!, gn reader. i dont think there is any disclaimers but let me know if i missed any!

-jiwoong-

showing a different side of himself

would show his true authentic self with you <3

would be really protective of you

since he wants to show he cares without being too "obvious" he would also over offer his help

but its so cute so it cancels out!

would care and love you so much

-hao-

introverted but clingly with you

hao is an introvert as we can all tell, and may need space but never from you

when he's tired, he would find so much comfort in your presence

constantly wants to be around you even if you guys aren't talking he just loves knowing you are there

you are his favorite

he chooses you over anyone else

-hanbin-

planning dates in advanced every week

hear me out in this, hanbin is an observer

he would allow you to plan the first few dates, and in those dates he is taking mental notes of your likes and dislikes

now he will tell you, he wants to plan the following dates

and from then on its funnn

he would take you to many new places like a art gallery or even invite you to his dance studio as a fun date

somehow hanbin will always think of something different for a date idea

-matthew-

teach you how to play video games

i know we all saw this man play league of legends now-

i have a feeling he would try to get his s/o into gaming

he would try to teach you how to play, and he is very patient

since he wants you to play with him, he is willing to spend some time teaching and training you to play these games

he takes it very seriously too

if you ended up not liking the game he would try to find another game that you'd like

regardless if he's not into that game, he would learn how to play it just for you <3

-taerae-

perform for you

strong believer in simp taerae

he would be so deeply in love with his s/o that sometimes they are above himself

if you are anxious, he would sing your favorite song to calm you down

if you are trying to fall asleep, he would play a calming tune in his guitar until you are fast asleep

feeling bummed out, no worries, taerae is dancing the newest tiktok trend for you!

this man will perform for you anytimes if it will make you smile

if you wanted to film a little dance video he would do it proudly

ahh taerae is such a cutie :'(

-ricky-

attention seeking and physical touch

hear me out ricky can sometimes be dismissive

although he clearly cares about other i think the baby cat has some trouble expressing it sometimes

since ricky would struggle to tell you he loves you sometimes he would be surprisingly very cuddly?

he would want to constantly have his arms around you even if he wasn't speaking to you

small gestures like cuddling or holding your hand are a big deal to him

its his way of showing his love

he would also seek your attention in the same way

he has very grabby hands constantly wanting your attention without actually saying it

-gyuvin-

carrying extra items for you

gyuvin is a goofy guy but he is also always taking mental notes of you

he would notice your favorite snacks and items you constantly use

he secretly carries your favorite snacks in his backpack

in his backpack there is chapstick, germx, and much more items you use on the daily

you would say "i'm really craving __" and all of a sudden he pulls out the snack from his backpack

needless to say gyuvin is prepared for anything you might need

-gunwook-

have a photo album dedicated of pictures of you

gunwook adores you

sometimes you catch him just starring at you deeply with a smile plastered on his space

he just loves looking at your face, as its a boost of serotonin for him

since he realized how happy it makes him, he takes about 3 pictures of you

sometimes you don't even know he is taking pictures, yet you still come out looking so good

and when he is in a bad mood or simply misses you he would go to his album titles Y/N and just look over all the pictures

he would be so smiley and thankful to have such a partner in his life

-yujin-

get you flowers at the right times

yujin would love getting you flowers

he knows how happy it can make you so he always gets you flowers

yet unbeknown to you he actually always steals one flower from the bouquet he buys

why?

because that way he knows when he needs to get you more flowers

of course he doesn't tell you this, since he wants to be seen as cool

but it's a sweet gesture that he loves doing <3

ahhh guys I did not post as much as I wanted to for a bit. Buttt i hope you enjoyed this. Let me know if you would like a part two or even a fic. Don't forget my asks are always open not just for request but also for any questions or just talks you want to have <3

[natureselements]

I recently made a chain catshark sculpture for an inspiring little marine biologist who is quite dear to me. Thus, creating these little babies that you can carry around for a little cute serotonin boost✨ I only have three available currently, but I’d be oh so happy to make more🌿 check them out here!

[yanderecrazysie]

Twisted Zoo Chapter Seven

This is based on the stories of a keeper reader with the octotrio by @ashensgrotto and @merakiui .

Also @twistedcece @cenatour @ursinaw @xiaopleasecomehome @bearshideout @koebishrimpuwu @vash-yuu @help-whatdoimakemyusername @secret-potion @magmdnv @sunshine-for-serotonin @mel-star636 @silkkorchid @thatpersonuouknow @the-ace-reader @pamv11 @coffee-or-hot-cocoa @hrhqueenfox @goseew @luxthestrange @juno-of-wonderland @who-mst @despairingy-obsessed @lanxianschoenheit @ceramic-raven @sirenetheblogger @a13x15a5133p @abcdontbotherme @m0063576 @kimdourden @rammylog @starshiningsirius @im-here-for-the-fun-of-it @the-monochrome-jester @leleunderscore06 @tinymonke @lonelybluesworld and @thisisafish123 wanted to be tagged! Let me know if anyone else wants to be tagged for future chapters. If you no longer want to be tagged, please tell me! (Some of the tags might not have worked, and I’m sorry if so!)

Summary: You’re a brand new zookeeper at The Halfling Zoo- a place where half-animals live in captivity. Your job is simple- feed them and study them. Your main worry is that one of the more dangerous halflings might kill you. 

Unfortunately, that may become the least of your worries.

WARNINGS: none

Previous Part: Chapter Six

Next Part: Chapter Eight

Note: All characters are aged up, since there will be mature themes in future parts.

Also, I can’t promise I’ll finish this. I suck at finishing stories.

—-------------------------------------------------------

You balanced the boxes of donuts in one hand while you pulled open the door to the savannah exhibit open. Then, you slid inside, happily carrying the boxes through the heated exhibit. The heat was already causing beads of sweat to appear on your brow, so you made sure to hurry.

The hyenas were where they were the other day, by the waterfront, chatting animatedly between each other. At least, they were until Ruggie yelled “Hey!” and, in a storm of dust, raced over to meet you.

Ruggie stood in front of you, eyes gleaming, no signs of being afraid of you anymore, “You brought donuts!”

“Yes, I did promise you that I would!” you said with a laugh.

Ruggie wrapped his arms around you and placed his head on your stomach in a strange hug. You couldn’t really hug back with the donuts in your arms, but it made you smile all the same.

“What kind do you want?” you asked, opening the top box. Ruggie snatched up a chocolate frosted donut with rainbow sprinkles and plopped himself down on the dry grass below, chowing down on the donut without leaving time to breathe between bites.

“Slow down, Ruggie, you’re gonna choke,” you laughed, motioning for him to calm down. Ruggie looked up at you with a mouth full of donut and he looked so innocent you couldn’t help but melt a little. 

He tried to say something, but it was muffled by the chocolate in his mouth. He seemed to realize you couldn’t understand him, so he chewed, swallowed, and said, “All for me?”

“Nooo, everyone gets a donut,” you laughed, “You are not eating 36 donuts on your own.”

Ruggie pouted and continued to chomp on the rest of his donut. The other hyenas came up and each took their own donut. Once they were all finished, you picked up another chocolate sprinkled donut and handed it to Ruggie, “One for the road, hon.”

“Road? Hon?” Ruggie was confused, tilting his head at you as he tried to understand.

“It’s a phrase and a nickname,” you said, patting Ruggie’s fluffy hair gently, “Don’t worry about it.”

Ruggie leaned into your touch as he scarfed down the new donut. You waved goodbye to the hyenas, who all hesitantly gave you a little wave back, before heading across the savannah to the far end, where the lions laid.

“Hey guys!” you yelled, “Who wants donuts?”

No response. Oh well, you were used to that.

“Hey Leona, which donut would you like?” you asked the king of the savannah.

“I eat meat, not sweets,” he replied coldly.

“Have you ever had one before?” you asked coyly, “Or are you just trying to avoid me?”

Leona’s jaw hardened and, after a moment of glaring at you, he held out one hand with claws extended, “Give me a donut.”

“You have to pick which kind,” you explained, “There’s too many flavors.”

Leona growled, but he allowed you to open the box and show off its contents to him. Leona reached for a powder sugar donut and gasped in surprise when he saw his fingertips, “This donut! Its white covering sticks to your paws!”

You tried not to laugh, “Yeah, powder sugar gets everywhere, but it’s really good.”

Leona raised the donut to his mouth hesitantly. You smiled encouragingly and he tentatively took a bite. His eyes fluttered closed at the sweetness and he let out a pleased hum.

“Still don’t like sweets?” you teased.

“You were right, herbivore,” Leona conceded.

The lion halfling sat up on the rock and called out to the other lions, “Take one donut each! Do not be tempted to take more just because of their sweet flavor.”

“Thanks, Leona” you said, turning the box so the other lions could see. One by one, they each took a donut.

You watched them eat (and Leona lick powdered sugar off of his claws) for a while before you realized the sun was starting to go down. You bid them goodbye, not realizing that Leona’s eyes followed you until you were out of sight, licking his lips both from the powdered sugar and the predatory instincts he felt around you.

You finally left the hot savannah and headed for the wolf exhibit. A little girl came up to you and asked if she could have a donut. “Of course you can!” you said cheerfully, letting her pick from the leftovers.

From his perch not far away, Leona’s eyes narrowed, one thought going through his head until you disappeared into the wolf exhibit. You would make a good mother.

Unaware of Leona’s dark thoughts, you walked through the wolf exhibit. You barely made it a few feet when the wolves popped out from their places behind the trees.

“What do you want with us?” one of the wolves snarled, “You keep returning!”

“I’m a researcher,” you explained calmly, “I have to come back, that’s my job.”

“What’s that you’ve got there?” another wolf demanded to know.

“Donuts!” you said happily, opening up the box and showing it to the halflings. Disgusted, they backed away into the shadows without another word. You sat down on a tree stump, disappointed by their reaction.

“Donuts,” a gruff voice said. You instantly brightened when you realized Jack had stuck around.

“Yes, would you like one?” you asked. He nodded and sat down in the grass next to you, taking a random donut from the box without really looking. His eyes lit up at the flavor and he began devouring it like a man starved.

Pretty soon the both of you decided to split the remaining dozen. You both chowed down and, by the time it was over, you felt like your stomach may burst. Even so, you and Jack smiled at each other.

“Frosting,” Jack said, shyly reaching out his thumb to brush away some crumbs on your lips. He leaned in close and, for a moment, you thought he was about to kiss you. Instead, he nuzzled your cheek affectionately. You wondered if he could feel the heat radiating from it.

Jack placed a gentle kiss on your temple and your face grew even warmer. “I… um… I should probably get going.”

It wasn’t just an excuse- it really was getting dark outside. Jack backed away with a nod and escorted you to the exhibit door. You gave him a pat on the head and he melted into the action, sighing softly at the feeling of your hand on his white hair.

Then, without further ado, you headed on home to write your notes out. A special about lions was playing on TV.

“When a female is in heat, she will mate with a male from any pride, and they will stay together for three or four days. During this time, they will mate every 20–30 minutes, with up to 50 copulations per 24 hours.”

“Jesus Christ,” you muttered, “That’s crazy. I’m glad I’m not a lion.”

[reidbae]

DAY 2: Drenched In You — shower sex w/dom!spencer reid

KINKTOBER 2023: masterlist

summary: After spending some quality time with your husband, the two of you shower together to clean up. But, cleaning up isn’t the only thing that the two of you have in mind while you’re in there.

pairing: dom!husband!spencer reid x sub!fem!wife!reader

warnings/mentions: vaginal sex, unprotected piv sex (pls do not do this), use of pet names (honey, my love, angel, baby, sweetheart), praise, fondling, titty sucking, thigh gripping

wc: 1.6k

tags: @nalycandy @prettyboydrspencerreid @mega-kittyglitter-1

"Come on, honey. Will you please let me clean you up?" Spencer asked you with a soft smile.

You were cradled in Spencer's lap with your face buried in his chest, having just made love with him. Spencer had been asking if the two of you could get up and shower for a short while now, and while you did feel a little unclean, you were too comfy where you were to want to move even an inch.

"Mmm, but I'm so comfy here," you voiced to him, only burying your face further into his body. Spencer chuckled at your behavior, running his hand softly over your hair.

"Yeah. But you're going to feel better after you clean up, sweetheart," Spencer whispered to you as he played with your hair. "Showers can decrease one's anxiety, as it relaxes the muscles and reduces tension, relieving stress from the body as a whole," he explained.

"And, it can also increase the production of mood-improving hormones, like serotonin and norepinephrine," the genius rambled on.

You grumbled a little, because as much as you didn't want to admit it, he was probably right.

You weren't one to doubt the words of a genius, especially when that genius was your husband.

"Okay, okay," you muttered. "We can go shower."

Spencer kissed the top of your head, bringing you closer to him before getting up, with you in his arms. "There's my good girl," he praised you in a warm tone of voice.

You felt your face heat up as Spencer carried you to the bathroom, setting you down on the counter. You were already naked from your time with Spencer earlier, with him being in just his slacks.

Spencer ran the water until it was warm, then removed the rest of his clothing. You tried not to look down as he did, but your eyes weren't too fond of the idea. You skimmed over his body, biting back a smirk.

Spencer was too preoccupied with the idea of getting you clean to notice the look that you were giving him, and took you back into his arms. You wrapped your legs around his torso, laying your head on his shoulder as the two of you got into the shower together.

Spencer wasn't joking when he said he'd clean you up. He made sure to get every bit of your body, pressing kisses to your skin before washing down each area. He asked if he could wash your hair, too, to which you let him.

You closed your eyes as he rinsed conditioner out of your hair, relaxing into the affectionate manner in which he was handling you.

If there was one thing your husband was, that was just it: Husband material.

After finishing up with washing your hair, Spencer wrapped his arms around you, hugging you from behind as he kissed your neck. "Do you feel better now, my love?" he asked gingerly.

Your eyes were still closed as you let out a happy sigh, muttering, "Yeah. Yeah, I do."

After a short while of silence, you then spoke up again as you opened your eyes. "Well—"

Spencer's eyes met yours as you tilted your head back to look at him, giving you a curious expression. "Well, what, honey?" he asked, running his hands over your torso.

"I- I'm still—Needy for you," you responded shyly, turning your face away from him.

You could see Spencer smile out of the corner of your eye, raising a hand up to tilt your chin, so you were gazing at him again. His look was loving as he rubbed his thumb under your face. "I'm always happy to please you, honey. You know that," he murmured. "No need to be shy about it."

"I- I know," you said in a timid voice. "Still, though."

Spencer shook his head and pressed a kiss to the top of your head. "You're too cute, baby," he said in a sweet voice. "What do you want me to do to you, my love?"

You considered it for a second, blushing as you gazed up at the taller man. "I want to feel you again. If that's okay with you," you said, like you even had to ask for permission.

Even after years of being married to Spencer, you still felt so shy around him. It wasn't what he did, really. It was just who he was.

But Spencer had grown used to it, and he knew exactly why it was the case.

And, of course, he also knew how to handle it.

"Of course it is. I want to feel you again, too," Spencer smiled down at you, moving a piece of your own damp hair away from your face. "Can I pick you up again, angel?"

You nodded your head quicker than you meant too, causing Spencer to laugh softly. Handling you as if you would break like glass if he dropped you, Spencer took you back into his arms, to which you then interlaced your fingers behind his neck.

Warm water fell over your backside as Spencer's lips met yours, bringing you in for a soft and sensual kiss. He was incredibly slow and gentle with you, knowing that there was no need to rush a thing when the two of you were together like this.

Your hands played with his wet hair as your lips moved with his, his hands rubbing your back with a gentle touch. You could feel him smiling against your lips as he kissed you, sinking deeper into it as the time went on.

You felt the cool surface of the shower wall on your back as Spencer pushed you up to it, veiny hands gripping your thighs to hold you up. He then managed to move a hand away, now only holding you up with one. His free hand moved down just to feel his cock, that had since become hard.

You opened your eyes as water ran down your faces, gazing at him with needy eyes as you looked down. You could feel yourself growing wetter as you eyed him, and that wasn't just because of the shower.

Spencer moved his hand up and down for a few more seconds, then guided his tip to your cunt slowly. Gently, he pushed himself inside of you, and you quickly melted into the feeling that you'd been craving ever since your time together earlier.

Spencer moved his hands back down to your thighs, gripping them again as he moved himself into you, your back still pressed into the wall.

Spencer set you down to your feet, taking one of your legs into his hand and lifting it up for better access as the two of you made love. "You're so beautiful, my love," Spencer whispered.

You smiled, meeting his eyes with a needy expression. "Mmm, am not," you said in response, your brain too messy with pleasure to say much else.

"Yes, you are, baby," Spencer said, bringing his free hand up to cup one of your tits. He ran his thumb in slow circles over it and squeezed down with force, causing your head to tilt back on the wall in pleasure. "Especially when you're needy for me like this," he teased.

You only grumbled in response, allowing your eyes to close, and your body to refocus on the feeling of Spencer inside of you once more. You weren't quite sure how the taller man did it, but the hand that was fondling your breast was suddenly replaced with his mouth.

You couldn't miss the gorgeous view of your husband with his mouth full of your tit. You opened your eyes again to look at him, whimpering at the view of him bending down just to pleasure you.

Spencer's tongue swirled around your nipple as he pounded harder into you, holding your gaze as he did so. You couldn't help but moan out his name in a soft tone, muttering, "Mmm, Spence, please, keep going."

Spencer indulged you as rapidly as you had asked, his pace never slowing down.

He pulled back after a while to lean back up again, meeting your mouth in one more passionate kiss. His free hand moved down to rub your clit this time, moving in hard circles.

When Spencer heard you whine out at the new feeling, he looked at you, face still shiny with water from the shower. "You like that, huh, angel?" he asked in a teasing tone. "You like the way my fingers feel?"

You nodded, moving your lips up to kiss him with a passionate need. "So much," you whispered in response. "You have no idea how much."

"I think I have a clue," Spencer chuckled as he continued. "I like making you feel good, honey. I'll never get sick of it."

"Please don't," you groaned out.

That was the last thing you could ever want.

Spencer could feel your climax closing in after a short while, which only encouraged him to get you there quickly, so long as that was what you wanted.

Of course it was. It was what you craved, at that.

Spencer's tongue moved with yours as the both of you soon rode out your highs. You allowed both the water from the shower and pure bliss to wash over you as you reveled in the tang of Spencer's lips, the feeling of his cock, and the way he was moving his hand all at once.

You soaked Spencer's dick with your release as he filled you with his, the feeling being the final touch to fulfilling your needs when it came to having sex with Spencer.

You took a few deep breaths to calm yourself down as Spencer lowered your leg, taking a second to relax as well. When he did, he used both hands to cup your face gingerly, and pressed soft kisses to your jaw, nose, lips, and cheeks.

You giggled as he peppered you with kisses, smiling breathlessly up at him. "Thank you," you said.

"You don't have to thank me, angel. Making you feel good makes me feel good, too," he smiled down at you. It was clear that by that, he didn't mean only in the physical sense of the phrase.

"Now, for the second time today," he smiled, kissing the tip of your nose again. "Can I get you cleaned up?"

–

reblogs are very much appreciated <3

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please let me know if you want to be added to my taglist!

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[yandereforme]

how would the yandere bat fam react to y/n having meltdowns (e.g kicking and screaming and sobbing ect)

TW: mentions of self harm and meltdowns, sedatives,

That depends entirely on why.

If it’s because of something like the hot and cold treatment, and you throwing their treatment back in their face? Then they will be a lot more patient than if you wanted to leave.

Bruce won’t react outwardly. On the inside? He’s beating himself up for everything he’s put you through. He feels like a failure, and will try to compensate with gifts and attention. He can’t fix the past, but he can make sure he doesn’t do it again. If you are a danger to yourself? He will try to talk you down, but if he can’t, he will knock you out. You will be on suicide watch until he thinks he can trust you again.

Dick will feel guilty regardless, and the only way he will step in is if you are in danger of hurting yourself. He’s angry at himself, you needed him! You are obviously acting out just like he did! Get ready to be infantilized to the extreme, and not have any alone time to yourself for a while. If you hurt yourself, she will be worse. Do you want be allowed to even stand, he will carry you from place to place. He didn’t do anything for you then, so he’s going to do everything for you now.

Jason will take it all without complaint. He knows he messed up and he will take the punishment. You need yo get it out of your system. If you are in any danger of hurting yourself, he will stop it in a second though. You can hurt him, but you will never be allowed to hurt yourself.

Tim won’t take anything you say as anything more than hysteria. He’s such a delusional yandere that he’s genuinely confused as to why you are doing this. Hewill get you any comfort items you have, but he will not know what to say, and may end up setting you off again. The second you are in danger of hurting yourself though? He will knock you out without hesitation.

Damian will flounder. He has no idea what to do, since this will be the first time he sees you like this. He will most likely just let you go through it, silently standing by, and will bring you water and food that he knows you enjoy once you stop. If you start hurting yourself, he will instinctively stop you. He’ll probably restrain you, and talk to you like a spooked animal. I can honestly see him being the best with you when you’re like that.

If you were having a meltdown about wanting to leave the manner, they will do the same things, but be a lot less guilty and a lot more firm. You almost died the last time you left. You aren’t allowed to leave. They have to make up for what they’ve done to you. Also, Damien will definitely sedate you if he thinks you want to leave.

You wanted this love for so long. You’ve got it now. They love you. Now be a good sibling/kid, and don’t try to leave. It’s too dangerous for you outside. They are giving you everything you wanted and will buy you whatever you’d like. You just have to stay with them. 

Edit: Thank you for giving me this request. I’ve been having trouble writing these days, but your request gave me some much needed serotonin, so I was able to finish this and a few other things. Please send me more requests, and comment on my posts more. I crave validation lol

[avelera]

Let's Play: What's Wrong with this Sculpture?

Following in the theme of sharing astonishing moments of ancient sculpture pedantry here on Tumblr, based on my brief undergraduate stint as a T.A of ancient art history, I thought I'd share one of my other proudest moments of being an absolutely insufferable know-it-all about ancient sculptures.

In the process, I hope I can also share some of the sort of largely useless (from a practical perspective) information that Tumblr tends to glory in, so buckle up buttercups.

This question was posed to me on a walking tour of the Capitoline Museum in my ancient art history class while I was living abroad. Our professor, a delightfully curmudgeonly Belgian, stopped in front and asked us to figure out why this sculpture is just plain wrong.

I intend to walk you through the process of how I got the right answer and, after gaining my teacher's rare approval, glowed with enough serotonin to power a small nuclear reactor.

So, let's return to the original question: what is wrong with this sculpture?

Because if you are truly eagle-eyed you should be able to spot what very famous sculpture this actually is, before an overly imaginative Frenchman brought it back wrong.

Hint #1: It was incorrectly restored.

Look closely at the the difference of the patina, or color of the stone. It's a bit hard to tell in this photo, but the head was added later. It's a paler white than the core of the torso, which is what we have of the original sculpture.

Hint #2: It was incorrectly restored in the 18th century by a Frenchman (Pierre-Étienne Monnot) who made some, shall we say, creative interpretations of what's going on here.

You can tell it's by an 18th c. Frenchman because the facial features are so delicate. Ancient statues tend to have less narrow and delicate chins and noses. In general, that is a dead giveaway when something is 18th century French vs. Ancient Greek or Roman.

Here's a good example. The first sculpture is 18th c. French, the second is the famous Venus de Milo. Note her blockier chin and less delicate features. So in the future, you can tell these sort of later additions to Greek or Roman sculptures if they added a new head because 17-19th century sculptors in Europe had tools (like finer drill tips) and tastes (beauty standards that favored more delicate men and women) that led to a pronounced difference in the faces.

Hint #3: Check out the anatomy of his lower shoulder. That's another addition, that arm should not be coming straight out of a torso where the muscle, if you look closely, is turned inward.

Seriously, that looks painful.

Hint #4: The sword he's holding up is just total nonsense for the Roman era. I mean, the restoration makes no secret of the fact that this sword is a later addition, but it's also just an absolute nonsense sword with its silly little curved cross guard. This Frenchman literally just made it up.

Here's an ancient sculpture with a sword in it that actually looks right:

From the Ludovisi Gaul, a famous Hellenistic Baroque work of Greek sculpture. Note the much blockier sword though I will admit, it could be a later addition, I don't know for 100% certain, but I'm pretty sure it's the original. Regardless, it fits the sculpture much better and let me add that sword I'm criticizing is completely made up for the sculpture we're talking about and is not there in the original sculpture that was incorrectly restored.

Ok, so those are all the hints.

Look closely at the body of the first sculpture. Cut away the arms that are not connected to the body correctly, the sword that shouldn't be there, the face that was far too delicate. When you separate those later additions out, can you tell me what sculpture that actually is?

Because here is the reveal!

The Discus Thrower, aka, the Discobolus by Myron.

The French restorationist got carried away by his own imagination, saw a twisted torso and thought it could only possibly be a warrior in the midst of twisting around to fend off a blow, not an athlete in the midst of a demonstration of skill. It's a martial, fanciful read that completely misinterpreted the subject.

This is why most restoration today employs a much lighter touch, rather than trying to reattach pieces incorrectly, they tend to just outline where the missing pieces are with a light sketch of an educated guess of what might have actually been there. Faulty restorations like the Capitoline Discobolus is one reason for this modern stylistic principle when it comes to restoration work.

When my professor asked us to identify the correct original sculpture that day on the museum tour, it was the sword that pinged me as wrong first, but zeroing in on the core of the sculpture, the torso, is what revealed the true statue underneath.

This notoriously difficult to please professor was very proud when I blurted out, "It's the Discus Thrower!" and the high-octane serotonin I got from his approval probably could have propelled me into the sun that day, and brought to you Yet Another Moment of Ancient Sculpture Pedantry.

[mediumgayitalian]

“It’s half past eleven, Nico. I told you to get some rest.”

Nico’s face twists somewhere between a scowl and a frown.

“I don’t need to.”

He’s sorted the medicine cabinet eight billion times in his life — Will doesn’t need to think about it. Instead, he lets his mind wander, lets his hands handle themselves, lets his eyes stray to the hunched way Nico is standing, one knee resting on the cot Will assigned him, the other straight, foot resting, pointed, towards the door. His fingers twist and steeple together, thumb worrying his skull ring, faint scratches picked and scabbed over. His clothes sag off of him.

“It’s safe,” Will assures softly. Nico startles, turning his big, dark eyes to face him, and Will meets them head on, determined to let the seriousness show in his face. “Argus is watching the door, and Peleus is awake at the border. Nothing is going to attack us while you sleep.”

Nico worries his lip. “That’s not it.”

Half-lie. He was worried about being attacked — Will can feel it, the same way you can feel a bug crawling on your skin. Tiny brushes of something foreign along the sensitive nerves of his skin. But he’s shifty, still, beyond that, beyond the same fear they all carry.

“What is it, then?”

Nico shrugs. Squeezing his eyes briefly shut, Will focuses his energy, sending out teeny tiny vibrations too tightly wound for regular human senses to pick up, waiting for them to bounce back at him. Usually, he hates doing this — too much input. He can feel the ions shaking on the metal bed frames, feel the cling of every microbe on non-sterile surfaces, feel microscopic patch of skin flake off every person’s body, feel the ka-thunk ka-thunk ka-thunk of every heartbeat. It’s hard to sort and hard to interpret. A massive wall of noise beyond auditory.

But he focuses, channels the input as much as he can, and interprets like Rachel taught him — like picking up a handful of silt and focusing on one grain of sand at a time. One person out of the masses — one input at a time.

Sweat, gathering in the palms of his hands, chock full of DHEA and adrenaline. Pinpriked with serotonin and a sprinkling of cortisol. Elevated heart rate, barely so; increased blood pressure. Fourteen hundred hair follicle deaths. Minor lactic acid buildup in the muscles. Contracted veins and capillaries.

“You’re feeling guilty,” Will guesses.

Nico gapes.

“How did you — there’s no possible way you — lucky guess,” he lands on eventually.

“Stress is just pouring off of you, man,” Will says, holding back a small smile, “I can feel it.”

Ha. If only he knew.

“Whatever. I just —”

Will waits, tucking away the last of the half-used bottles. They’re going to have to start rationing nectar, soon. And he might have Nico cut some bandages if he’s up for it, tomorrow; it’ll save him some time before Chris’s surgery.

“You just?”

Nico gestures helplessly at where Will is finishing up the last of the inventory. “There are a dozen more deserving people than me of this bed, I can’t —”

“You’re important too, you know.”

The click of Nico’s jaw snapping shut rings throughout the quiet infirmary. It’s just barely louder than sleeping patients shifting in the cots, and a little quieter than Miranda’s snoring.

“I know that.”

“Do you?”

Hesitation. Cortisol and adrenaline, again, even higher heart rate.

“…Yes?”

Hm. Interesting.

“You’re telling the truth,” Will muses. He tilts his head. “Do you trust me?”

“Yes.”

The immediate honesty in Nico’s voice is flattering. Will smiles, and he flushes, slightly.

Serotonin flash. Salivary gland inhibition.

Interesting.

“Listen to me, then: you’re important. And you’re still dangerously exhausted — medically exhausted. You’re a step and a half away from a coma, dude. You need this bed as much as anyone else here.”

“There are stab wounds in some of them,” Nico argues. “And missing limbs and slash marks and —”

“And they’re all stable,” Will interrupts. He raises a challenging eyebrow. “D’you think I maybe know what I’m doing after three years of this, Nico? I know how to triage. Is anyone close to death?”

Nico purses his lips. “No.”

“Right.” Will shrugs. “I know you’ve been teetering on the edge of fading, which isn’t great. The only reason I waited until now to get you in here was because I had people in worse condition. They’re stable now — and so I have space to prioritize you. Okay?”

Slowly, Nico nods. Gut serotonin and heavy endorphin release — good.

“Okay,” he says quietly.

Truth.

“You’ll sleep?”

A ghost — ha — of a smile flashes on his face. “Yeah, you nag, I’ll sleep.”

“That’s all I ask,” Will responds, meeting his smile. “Night, Nico.”

“Goodnight.” He hesitates. “Thank you, Will.”

Will grins wider.

“Anytime.”

[crow-raven-crow]

Heyyy, love your writing!

It’s a bit specific but I was wondering if you could do a Larissa x reader fic where reader takes antidepressants but stopped taking them for whatever reasons then decided to start taking them again and gets really bad serotonin syndrome as her body gets used to the meds again? And Larissa is just concerned. Like just a cute fluff kinda type vibe???

Much love and take care x

𝐋𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐍𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞

𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭 - [𝐧𝐬𝐟𝐰 𝟏𝟖+]

✧･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧ :══════⊹⊹══════: ✧･ﾟ｡˚☾.･✧

𝐋𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐚 𝐖𝐞𝐞𝐦𝐬 𝐱 𝐟!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬: ~1.8k 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬/𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭: FLUFF, serotonin syndrome (symptoms and definition below), numbness, emptiness, ungrounded feelings, restlessness, crying, soft love, literally so soft i melted writing this i love larissa

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: see ask above

𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

AO3 link in title ✧･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧ :══════⊹⊹══════: ✧･ﾟ｡˚☾.･✧

✧･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧ :══════⊹⊹══════: ✧･ﾟ｡˚☾.･✧

Serotonin Syndrome - a potentially fatal drug-induced condition caused by too much serotonin in the synapses in the brain. This is caused by a medication or mix of them building up high levels of serotonin.

Signs and symptoms include: restlessness, insomnia, confusion, rapid heart rate, high blood pressure, dilated pupils, loss of muscle coordination, twitching muscles, muscle rigidity, nervousness, sweating, nausea, blurred vision, feeling like you're in a dream like state

✧･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧ :══════⊹⊹══════: ✧･ﾟ｡˚☾.･✧

The covers gave you no comfort tonight - fabrics and scents you usually melted into only stuck to your skin like static. The darkness of the room was casted away by the welcomed silver light of the moon, but the clouds at the edges of your vision only fed restlessness and frustration to you by the spoonful as you turned over for what felt like the thousandth time that night. Your body felt stiff, stuck, tired as you continued to beg it for some rest.

You were back on your antidepressants after long days of contemplation. You didn't think it would be this hard, things never seemed this hard.. The blankness, the dullness that compressed your mind being oh so silent yet all too loud at the same time - the overwhelming presence and lack of your thoughts that stood stationary at the front of your mind pressed on with no will to stop. Your body felt heavy, your bones carrying an ache you wished to forget.

You moved to her side of the bed, bringing your knees close to your chest as you inhaled small pieces of her perfume. For how exhausted you were, the rapid hammering of your heart only served as a reminder of how much longer you could be awake tonight. The pounding in your ears didn't settle no matter how hard you tried to calm your breaths, and the constant inhale and exhale was taking much more out of you than you'd like to admit. You moved the covers off of your body, upset at the layer of sweat that covered your skin, and forced the cool air of the night to shock your system.

As waves of goosebumps appeared across your skin and shivers ran through you, your eyes wandered over to the golden light seeping in from underneath the bedroom door. Your lover sat beyond those walls, a goddess of comfort, a source of haven that you were so grateful to have. You longed to forget this heavy feeling. Running your hands over your legs, you thought of the comforting warmth that sat just past those doors, the gentle kisses, the softest touches, the sanctuary that was just feet away.

You breathed in through your nose, feeling the air swirl in through you until you felt your lungs max out, hoping that the action alone would calm the newfound pit growing in your stomach, and stood as you pushed the air out of your mouth. The long night had slowly turned into a dream to you, the chill you felt under the moonlight only adding to the pull that the golden glow gave to you. You felt weightless as your feet sunk into the rug underneath you, yet the weight in your chest was ever present the closer you got to holding your hand out towards the handle.

Wood, dark and ancient and carved and worn - the only thing that separated you from something you wanted so badly, from someone you wished to melt into. The doorknob shocked your fingertips as you took hold of it, the small spark of light being enough to cause your heart to rage on again. Your lips formed into a thin line, your mind blanking as the sudden thought of going back to the bed faded from your mind - you pushed forward.

The heavy door creaked as it moved, showing its age as your wish to walk into her presence quietly slipped away from you. Your mind acknowledged the fact that you had entered the space completely, but you couldn't help but feel disconnected from yourself - knowing that you had entered a new room, touching the cold planks under your feet, feeling the heat from the roaring flames greeting your side, yet not knowing if you were truly awake.

The door to your shared quarters shut with a click, and your eyes slowly made their way to the concerned figure presented at the desk. Her hair was pure white as the moonlight guided though each strand, but the flames that burned in front of her painted her features in a caramel hue. Her eyes, capsules that carried the ocean in their blues, wandered over your tired figure in growing worry - gliding over your wrinkled, oversized shirt, to the fidgeting of your hands, to the small heaves of your chest. She took in every ounce that you offered her, and damn did she read it all like a book.

"Darling.. Is everything alright..?" Her voice cut through the air like a hot knife to butter, her accent coursing through the room and wrapping you in its safe hold, the love, the worry dripping from it completely unhidden from your soul. It was hard to focus, your eyes moving in slow, blurred circles around the room that made the cloudy edges of your vision ever more present.

"U-Um.." You didn't mean for your voice to crack, didn't mean for it to break and weaken and fade out and run from you since you never wanted anyone to worry, since you never wanted her to worry… But you were hers.. and she was yours, so she knew the truth without asking.. So of course at the first sound of your voice escaping your lips in such a small way she was already up to her feet.

The soft pads of her heels stepping onto the large rug beneath her desk soon faded into heavy clicks against the dark wood floor, growing louder until they stopped in front of you. Her fingertips, gentle and soft with their touch, traced over the curves of each of your wrists. They circled around and traced their way up your arms, the touch grounding you and bringing you back to her.

Your eyes slowly focused on hers as one of her hands came to rest on the curve of your waist, the other moving to cup your cheek. It was easy to melt into her touch, to melt into the present when you were with her. Her thumb traced back and forth against your cheek as her eyes jumped from every little bit of your features, scanning your face with a quiet worry.

It was like your body allowed everything to crumble as you stood there in front of your love, the adoration and true care that radiated from her being all it took to let your true exhaustion show. A shaky sigh left you as your body felt heavy again, and your eyes, now glossy, finally opened again to meet hers.

"Darling..?" You didn't know if it was the way her thumb stopped moving against your cheek as she saw the true emotion in your eyes, or the way that her other hand sprawled out to touch more of your skin, or the way her voice got evermore quieter as she looked at your fragile being, but a choked sob broke through you with no restriction.. then another.. and another.. and suddenly you found the stream near impossible to stop.

"Oh, my love.. Come here, darling - I've got you, I promise.." Her voice lifted you into her trance, safe and warm, as she pulled you into her arms. She pressed small kisses against your hairline, her hands tracing patterns along your back as you pressed into her. Your hands were quick to grab onto the fabric of her dress, holding on as though your life depended on it, to find some sense of reality again. Your crying was quiet, yet wrecked your body with a release it needed as your tears soaked into her grey dress.

You listened as her rapidly beating heart came to a slow, the rise and fall of her chest becoming an easier task to follow as she asked you to breathe with her. Soon, the lightness that you were missing, that you seemed to be begging for, rose to your chest, your breaths matching and mixing together as the fire crackled on next to you, as the moon grew evermore present in the sky.

You felt her pull away, but before you could move, her rose painted lips were pressed against your forehead. It was gentle, full of adoration, full of pride… A blush was quick to grow on your cheeks as you watched the goddess pull away to meet your gaze, the smallest of smiles coming up to curl her lips. She understood every part of you, and seeing her acknowledge something so small yet so hard for you only made love settle in your chest.

"Why don't we get to bed, hmm?" You knew it wasn't a question, especially when she saw the exhaustion in your eyes, the heaviness in your stance, especially when the release you had just overcome started to present the toll it really took on you.

She was an easy woman to follow, a better one to try to please, so when her hand glided over to the small of your back with a small push towards the bedroom, it was as though your legs moved on their own. The haze that was over you was different than the one you had felt when you left the room, and you were so grateful that she was able to help you change that with just her company alone.

Your body sunk into the mattress, the foam latching onto your limbs and pulling you into it's welcoming hold. The covers were cold as she pulled them over you, something you appreciated when your head met the pillow. Your eyes were quick to close, the weight of your lids making itself known, but you still tuned into the rustling you heard throughout the room.

Just as the small sounds became white noise to you, they stopped completely and nearly prompted you to open your eyes, but the opportunity was taken away when you felt the mattress dip on the other side of you, replacing a hope with a lovely fact. Arms, hushed and secure, were quick to wrap themselves around you after you felt her body settle. You turned in her hold, your own arms coming to rest on her waist as you buried your head in the crook of her neck, your fingers lightly tracing the expanse of her porcelain skin.

The lingering smell of her perfume filled your lungs, and the soft hum of her heartbeat was something easy for you to sink into. Her hand pushed underneath your shirt, smoothing over the skin of your back and traced mindless patterns there. With another sweet kiss to your head, her voice, low yet soft, rang out in the new lightness of the room, "Sleep well, you sweet thing.. I promise, I've got you.."

~~

✧･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧ :══════⊹⊹══════: ✧･ﾟ｡˚☾.･✧

𝐚/𝐧: CRYING SOBBING BANGING THE WALLL

I LOVE WRITING LARISSA FLUFF COME ONNN

this one was very healing for me to write. i've been feeling a lot of emotions lately as i've forced myself to work through things and being able to have something like this was really helpful.

larissa is a comfort character to a lot of us, and i am so honored that someone trusted me to write something that can be so personal sometimes. we all need a person like larissa sometimes

im so sorry ive been mia LMAO so much is going on. im officially a double major (yippie lol) and im looking for a house with some friends and its midterm season andddd i increased my hours at work aaannnnddd ya know life LOL

BUT

im glad you all are so understanding <3 it warms my heart when you all still think of me or mention me because this is a really nice part of my life that i am soooo grateful for :)

here you go anon :) sorry it took so long - thank you so much for your patience <33 i hope you liked it!

xx,

~ 𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐰

✧･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧ :══════⊹⊹══════: ✧･ﾟ｡˚☾.･✧

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: (tagged anyone who asked/wanted to be on the "all works" taglist)

as always, feel free to ask to be added :)

@autumn-leaves-chasing-breeze @weemssapphic @readingtheentrails @finnja555 @barbarasstar @vendocrap8008 @lilfartbox1 @agathaandgwenslesbian @lvinhs @elvira-dear @kimiinou @ladybathoryy

✧･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧ :══════⊹⊹══════: ✧･ﾟ｡˚☾.･✧

[jackiepackiee]

hi hi , saw that your requests were open, can I request hcs of how Chuuya with a GN!Reader would react to them getting tattos that's similar to his corruption scars?

𝒞𝒽𝓊𝓊𝓎𝒶 𝓍 𝒯𝒶𝓉𝓉𝑜𝑜 𝑅𝑒𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓇

𝒲𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈 - 𝓃𝑜𝓅𝑒

𝒯𝓎𝓅𝑒 - 𝒽𝑒𝒶𝒹𝒸𝒶𝓃𝑜𝓃𝓈

Got carried away with this

Cried.

How could see something so terrible as beautiful?

He hates corruption.

He hates the pain, the destruction

He’s hates how he could hurt you because he had no control

but you make it better

He also thought you hated it, and that it terrified you

Contrary to his belief, you found it breathtaking

How much power one person could have

How he floated in the air as if he was above it all

A god. But not Arahabaki. A god, Chuuya Nakahara

So when you tell him you have a surprise, he expects a bottle of wine?

Maybe even a cute little kiss, an adorable thing you did sometimes

But no, a sleeve tattoo of the “worst” part of him

And God… you looked like an angel

Ink painted your skin, twining the scars covering his body

The one you adored

Not for his muscle or for any twisted reason

But for the reason you could see just how much he had been through and lived through

And how human he was

How every scar made him more worthy of that title that any man you knew

Your cute smile, expectant eyes, and shy body language made his heart explode

He kissed you

Not a hug and smile like when you gave him your usual presents of a watch or wine

Not a soft kiss like before bed or a quick one before he had to leave for work

One full of every emotion he held for you

Every emotion that made him human

He then kissed down your arm to each tattoo

Every ink spotted section of skin

“My pretty baby…”

Tears fell softly, but he didn’t pay mind

Eyes bore into yours when he held your face

“You like it?” “I love you.”

He couldn’t stop saying that, I love you

He had never felt so much at once

Like an overdose of serotonin

If he wasn’t human, or if he was

It didn’t matter

Because you’d be with him through it all

[ohtobeleah]

Way Down We Go // Jake Seresin

Summary: Burnout isn't an academic exercise. No. It's an all-consuming, systemic condition. It's your entire body sending you one clear message. Something has to change and it has to change now.

Warnings: Angst. Mental health talks. Jake Seresin x F!reader. Friends to Lovers to ex’s to enemies to friends to lovers trope.

Word Count: 3.5k

Author Note: Based off my own recent experience with Burn Out. Writing this helped me process some of my pent up frustration with accepting the fact I experienced my first real major burn out at 24.

In 2019, the World Health Organisation officially recognised “Burnout” in its international classification of diseases. Studies show that aviators who report signs of burnout have enlarged amygdalas. The area in the brain that regulates fear and aggression. 

But burnout isn't an academic exercise. No. It's an all-consuming, systemic condition. It's your entire body sending you one clear message. Something has to change and it has to change now. 

Put simply, Burnout comes from a deep imbalance. Too much stress with too few rewards. You're exhausted. Depleted. You no longer have patience, pleasure of serotonin. This is the end unless–

You turn it into something else and find your path to recovery. Pick the pieces you want from your life and find a new way forward. But sometimes it isn't all that simple. Sometimes the all-consuming is just that, it's all-consuming–

And sometimes it's easier to drop the deadweight than to try and carry it on your shoulders.

“Anyone see Rouge today?” It was Hangman's tone that sent a shiver down Roosters spine as he scoffed down the turkey sandwich he had slapped together this morning in the rec room. “We’re on the schedule together after break and I haven't seen her all day?” Rooster knew exactly where you were. At home, probably in bed under a plethora of blankets just trying to catch up on some sleep. 

“I uh–” Rooster was raised by an intelligent and loving woman who had always told him not to talk with his mouth full, but in times like these where every second mattered, that rule seemed more obsolete with every day that passed him by. He did however, make an effort to cover his mouth as he chewed and spoke. “Actually I think I’m with you this afternoon, Mav just hasn't had a chance to change the schedule.” It wasn't technically a lie. 

“Is Rogue not in today?” Jake frowned as he crossed his arms over his chest. “Or is she just avoiding me or something?” You and Jake Seresin had a complicated history. On again and off again romantically, on again off again friends, but these days it seemed to be that the two of you were more off than on. To the point where if you could avoid it, the two of you would ignore each other's existence completely. It was easier that way. 

Which meant Jake didn't know just how bad things had gotten for you. He didn't know you’d decided to take an extended leave of absence from work until you could figure out just what the hell was wrong with you. He didn't know that Rooster had been at your house last night on a welfare check mission. He felt it was his responsibility, after all you were his uncle's daughter. 

“Kerners decided to take some time off work.” Rooster explained the best he could without giving too much detail about your personal problems away. “After yesterday's mishap, she got spooked and asked Simpson for a few days to collect her thoughts.” 

Jake swore his heart left his body when he saw you lose control for those few seconds. All he could do was watch on in pure horror as you tried to regain control of your fighter jet after getting caught in his jet wash. You panicked, something that was completely out of the ordinary for you which led to you losing control of your F-18 for those brief moments in time. 

Jake wanted to talk to you after you landed, but within seconds of touching down you were heading straight for the locker room to grab your things. Unbeknownst to him it was your final straw. He hadn’t seen you since. And now Bradshaw was telling him you weren't in at all and wouldn't be for a while? Things weren’t adding up. Not to Jake. This wasn’t like you at all. 

“What aren't you telling me, Rooster?” Jake pressed as he paced up and down the rec room with his arms folded. He cared about you, he just didn’t know how to convey that care. He’d never not care about you. 

“I’m not not telling you anything.” Bradley replied, he looked like a deer caught in Jake's headlights. “We should get ready for our next hop man.” Bradley tried his best to change the subject, the subject being you and your mental stability. “I’m sure if Rogue has something to say she’ll say it.” He shrugged as he stood, knowing that Jake was probably the last person you would ever want to come clean to about being so vulnerable. “We better get going.”

“You’d tell me if she wasn’t alright, wouldn’t you?” Again, the tone Jake used sent a shiver down Bradley’s spine. He knew how tramaltious your relationship was. “If Kerner wasn’t alright you’d let me know?” Jake didn’t need Bradley to reply, his silence spoke louder than any excuse he could make up on the spot. “Dammit Bradshaw—“ 

“She didn’t want you to know!” 

“Know what!?” Jake hissed. He didn’t raise his voice in fear of bringing any sort of unwanted attention to the situation, but he was worried. Worried about what he didn’t know, worried about you. The best friend he couldn’t talk to. The love of his life he couldn’t admit to. You were the only woman in the world who knew how to take his breath away, in more ways than one. “God Rooster, just tell me what’s going on!” 

“She’s afraid to burn in—“ Bradley sighed as he held the bridge of his nose and hung his head in shame. You trusted him like an older brother and yet here he was, spilling your dirty mental health laundry to the only person you begged him not to tell. Jake Seresin, the love of your life that drove you insane. Your best friend who you couldn’t confide in, the only man who made you want to shoot for the moon and capture all the stars too. “She took an extended leave, told the Admirals they either needed to sign off on the paperwork or they’d be signing her death notice.” It was hard to hear because to Jake this was coming out of nowhere. “She just needs time.” Jake didn’t know how to respond, but most importantly he didn’t know how to react. 

“I don’t have time for all this melodrama, Rooster.” Jake shook his head in disbelief. “If Rogue wants to throw her career away because of a few bad days so be it but I’m not sympathetic.” It was the only response Jake knew how to give, but he was panicking on the inside. “I’ll see you for pre-flight checks.” 

“I think it’s more than just a few bad days, Hangman.” Bradley wasn’t going to say when he saw you last night he hardly recognised you. “She’s hid it well.” In all the time Bradley had known you, he’d never seen you this bad before. It was serious. He’d experienced his own burn out a few years back just after the Uranium mission. Before you joined the Daggers. It had taken its toll on him a hell of a lot more than he was prepared for. “She hid it so well I didn’t even know something was up until she was on the edge already.” 

In that very moment Bradley came to realised why you didn’t want Jake to know you were struggling, you didn’t want him to know that if given the chance you’d quit tomorrow because the burn out you were in was so entirely consuming that it made it hard to even get out of bed. When was the last time you ate? 

“She hid it so well it’s almost hard to believe, don't you think?” Jake snapped over his shoulder as he left the rec room, completely in denial about the fact you didn’t let him in. 

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***

The entire day had passed you by before you even contemplated the idea of getting out of bed. The idea in and of itself seemed exhausting. Expending any kind energy other than the minimal amount to breath seemed like a chore. 

Your stomach grumbled as you sat up and looked out the window that nestled itself beside your bed—pushed up against the wall just the way you liked it. It was dark, the day had passed and even though you couldn’t be bothered doing anything, the idea you’d wasted a full day in bed made you feel like shit. Plain and simple. You felt like crap and there was no one else to blame for that intense feeling of disappointment than yourself. 

As you climbed over your mess of linen and covers, a not so subtle knock began to echo out through your apartment. 

“Rooster!” You groaned, pressing your forehead into your mattress as you slumped in defeat. “Go away! I told you I’m fine!” You weren’t fine, you just didn’t want anyone worrying about you. You had this under control right? Even if you didn’t know what was happening to you. 

When the knocking persisted you knew you had to let Bradley in, he’d camp out in the hall before he left without seeing you. 

“My god I told you I’m fine!” You groaned as you made your way down the hall. Still in the same clothes you went to bed in yesterday afternoon. “I don’t need you doing welfare checks on me every dam—“ As you opened the door, it took you a second to register that it wasn’t Bradley standing out in the hall. “Jake?” You frowned, suddenly feeling a hell of a lot more vulnerable than you did six minutes ago. “What are you doing here?” 

“Bradshaw said you’re on leave?” Was all Jake said as he stepped into your apartment, it still felt like home despite the fact he hadn’t been over in months since your last bust. “What gives Rogue?” He was still in his flight suit, usually Jake showed before leaving base. But you were the priority right now. He just needed to see you. See for himself what the hell was going on. 

You watched as Jake made his way into your home, into your sacred space without so much as an afterthought that he may be intruding. He never did think his actions through if he wasn’t inside an F-18.

“Is that your way of asking me if I’m alright?” You rolled your eyes as you shut the front door, making a note to lock it behind you in case any other nosie aviators with callsigns that belonged to the flightless bird community came knocking. 

“It’s my way of asking what gives—“ Jake made sure to correct you. “So what gives? It’s not like you to take a break, you’re as good as they come—don’t actually get any better if you want my personal opinion.” It wasn’t a secret that you and Jake rotated as ‘The Best’  like a rositery chicken. He was on top one week and suddenly it was you by just a few points. But the sentiment remained, you were the only one who ever came close to matching Jake Seresin. It was just in your DNA. 

“Yeah I don’t remember asking for it.” You hissed, pushing past Jake as he stood in your hallway like a fungus you needed to get rid of before it had a chance to infect you. “Just because I’m the best doesn’t mean I don’t deserve a break from time to time.” 

As you made your way down the hall toward your bedroom, Jake noticed the way your shoulders slumped just the slightest bit. He noticed the way you looked as if you hadn’t been out of bed all day, the way your hair looked like a bird's nest atop your head. And he wasn’t sure why you were wearing the T-shirt he thought he’d lost three weeks ago but as it turned out you had it all along. 

“Y/n—“ Jake sighed as he watched you disappear into your room without so much as an explanation. “Wait.” 

“I need to shower.” It was the toneless way you explained yourself that sent warning signals off in Jake's mind as he followed you. 

“Hypothetically if I were to ask if you were doing okay would you tell me the truth?” You and Jake hadn’t always been so short with one another, but it was just the way it was now. It was the dynamic you were used to but loathed so much. You just wanted him to love you the way you saw in all the Disney films that were crammed down your throat as a kid. 

But Jake couldn’t. It wasn’t in his DNA. 

“Probably not, but like I told Bradshaw last night, I’m fine, just needed some time off work.” You shrugged as you fished through your dresser for a fresh pair of socks. Jake just stood off to the side, unsure of what to make of the mess that was your room. Usually you made it a note to keep your space clean and tidy. But when Jake looked around all he saw was complete chaos, a quick look into the inside of your mind looked like. 

“Isn’t that what weekends and annual leave is for?” He mumbled just loud enough for you to hear. 

“Couldn’t wait—I’m taking this unpaid and uninterrupted, so if you’ll excuse me, I need to shower.” 

“Don’t lie to me.” It came out more like a plea than a demand but it still didn’t sit right with you. You knew Jake Seresin didn’t care about anyone but himself. You’d known him long enough to know that he was selfishly egomaniacal. He didn’t care, not about you anyway. “Don’t lie to me Kerner—“ 

Jake had stopped you from moving any further towards your ensuite, with a gentle hand wrapped around your forearm. 

“I’m. Fine.” You had grit your teeth together to stop yourself from breaking. The force was enough to make your jaw ache. “Let. Me. Go.” 

“Really?” Jake challenged. “Because I’m standing on a pile of washing that smells like the inside of Fanboys locker.” 

“What has that got to do with anything!” As you ripped your arm out of Jake's grip he was quick to follow you into your bathroom. “I’m behind on laundry, big deal.” 

“It’s a big deal for you!” You could feel yourself crumbling the more Jake pressed you for the truth. “I don’t know what’s going on but—“ 

“Oh what exactly do you want me to say Jake? That I get up and then all day I'm tired, and that I wanna take a nap all day?” Everything you had been trying to hold in and deny was finally bubbling to the surface. “Do you want to hear me say that I have no motivation? That I don't wanna do anything.” 

“Y/n—“ Jake tried to interrupt as you threw your stuff on the bathroom floor in a heap. “It’s—“ There wasn’t a single thing Jake could say that could comfort you once the damn had been broken, you had held it all in for so long. 

“That I don't want to work, I can’t Jake because if I’m not in my own mind than I could kill myself up there or even worse–I could kill one of you!” 

All Jake could do was to stand there and listen as you let him know everything you had been struggling with for the past few months, slowly losing yourself day by day. You didn’t know what was wrong with you, why you felt this way, why all the enjoyment and all of the life had been sucked out of you. 

“I don't want to talk to anyone, especially you!” It was then you shoved at Jake’s chest, completely fed up with your emotional turmoil. He didn’t fight back, no. Jake simply held you close to his chest as he pulled you into a warm embrace that you so desperately needed. “I don't want to hang out with anyone, I don’t wanna watch TV or read a book or even go on my phone but at the same time as all of that I'm so bored! I don't care about anything because all that I care about is just surviving.” 

“You’re burnt out Rogue—“ 

“I’m not!!” Jake swore black and blue that was what you’d been trying to get at. “I can’t be burnt out!” He was even more confused than he was when Rooster had tiptoed around the situation earlier that same day. “My dad burnt out when he was at the height of his career and you know what he did?” Jake knew, he loved your dad like his own. Ron Slider Kerner was one of the best men Jake had ever had the pleasure of knowing. “He became a goddamn airline pilot!” There was anger in your voice, a deep sadness that Jake didn’t understand, what was so wrong with being an airline pilot? 

“Y/n, Y/n—“ Jake held you as tight as he could. He hadn’t held you like this in what felt like forever. “You’re gonna be okay.” Your head dipped just perfectly under his chin as you broke, there was nothing worse than crying into the arms of the man you loved and hated all at once. “I’m here, you’re gonna be fine.” 

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” It was the sadness in your cry for help that broke Jake's heart the most, how long had you been dealing with this by yourself?  How long had you been telling the people closest to you that you were fine when you really weren’t. “Why can’t I just—“ You couldn’t breathe. “Why can’t I—“ You couldn’t finish your sentences without nearly gasping for air. “I—I can’t—“ 

“Okay, you’re alright, come with me. Something about Jake Seresin that surprised you the most was the way he dealt with panic attacks. For a guy as level headed as him he sure suffered in silence for the longest time. But you knew—it was one of the reasons you thought Jake couldn’t stand you half the time. 

You knew his biggest weakness. Himself. 

“Sit.” Jake led you over to the side of your bed as he knelt on his knees before you. “Now just breathe with me alright, I’ve got you.” It was the calming tone in his beautiful voice that had you giving yourself entirely to him. You didn’t want to be trapped inside your own head anymore. “There’s nothing wrong with you Rogue, everyone goes through burnout, it’s a part of life.” Jake wasn't diminishing your feelings, but from his own experience he knew that there was a weight on your shoulders you needed to rid yourself of. “And it’s real, and it’s valid and it doesn’t mean you aren’t incredibly good at what you do.” 

“I can’t handle the pressure—“

“No, you put too much pressure on yourself, that’s what you can’t handle.” 

“Oh what do you care Jake!” He’d never seen you like this, so lost and so broken. “Why are you even here right now!” 

“Because I care about you! Why else would I be here, huh?” Jake cupped your cheeks gently as he wiped away the tears that streamed down your supple cheeks. “I care about you and when Bradshaw told me you took a leave of absence I knew something was up. This isn’t you.” It was the truth, it wasn’t you and that’s why it scared you so much. You didn’t feel like yourself. “Baby, this isn’t you.” 

All you did was cry in Jake's slightly rough palms as he kneeled before you and tried to do what he could to just be present. He hated seeing you like this, so out of your mind and dealing with an existential crisis. But Jake knew what it was like to experience burnout. 

“I can’t be burn out—“ 

“Why not?” 

“Because it’s not real?” That was probably the stupidest thing Jake had ever heard you say. “My mum always used to say that being burnt out was just an excuse for not being good enough, it was a cop out.” 

“Something tells me that’s a reason why your parents divorced huh?” You couldn’t hold back the small chuckle that escaped through the sobs. “Y/n, what you're experiencing right now is so real it’s not funny—burnout is real and I reckon once you accept that? It’s going to be easier to overcome than to fight off.” 

“You seem to know an awful lot about this for a guy who’s as confident as ever.” 

“Contrary to popular belief Rogue, I wasn’t born the best.” Jake winked as he leaned in to kiss your forehead. “How about you go have that shower and I’ll order some food and we can talk about it, all of it.” 

“Is this your way of trying to get in my pants?” 

“Mmm—it usually would be, but no, not this time.” Jake admitted as he graciously helped you stand as you sighed out a deep breath. “I’m here to help, can’t leave my wingwoman behind.” 

“I love you Seresin.” You smiled softly as you pressed your lips together in a fine line. It was hard to admit, but you’d never not love Jake. “Thanks for showing up.” Jake mimicked your smile before his lips pressed into a fine line of their own. He nodded softly before you turned on your heels, heading into the bathroom before shutting the door behind you. 

“I love you too.” 

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~

[yelena-bellova]

Twenty Years Later: Joel Miller x F!Reader - One Shot #4

One Shot #4: The Artist Formerly Known As Joel Miller

Plot: Joel gets another little piece of himself back in the form of music.

Word Count: 700+

Warnings: none (for once lol)

A/N: A little bit of well deserved fluff. I feel like I haven’t written anything for TYL that isn’t tainted with sadness but this is a rare dose of pure serotonin for y’all. Hope you like it!

—————

It was a truth long denied; Joel Miller needed music.

His long held dream of singing and strumming for a living was put to rest when Sarah was a blip on an ultrasound. There was no way to support a family on bar gigs. He hadn’t minded all that much, knowing the million to one odds he’d make it. Still, Joel wasn’t 100% Joel without a song.

In the three months that he’d been settled in Jackson, there’d been shockingly little rest. First there was fixing up the house. Nothing major, adjusting the furniture to his and Y/n’s liking and general cleaning. Then there were the emotional adjustments. Ellie and Y/n took a long while to ease out of the fear Silver Lake had left them with. Not to mention the new life the three of them had been given and how wildly different it was from the one they were used to. Joel and Y/n got set up with the work rotation of the town and Ellie started to (with great hesitation) socialize with the other kids.

It wasn’t until three months in that Joel allowed himself to think about the little things.

He’d been in conversation with a neighbor on patrol one day. An older guy who’d miraculously managed to live into his 70s in a post-Cordyceps world. They were talking about something and somehow it came up that Joel used to play guitar. The man mentioned that there was an old Taylor sitting in his spare bedroom. He’d never been any good and was too old to get any better so it was up for grabs.

Joel immediately accepted.

He beamed as he strode back home with the instrument clutched in one hand. Sailing through the front door, he let go of it only long enough to leave his snow coated boots at the door and remove his gloves.

“Rose,” he called out.

“Kitchen,” his wife called back. He could hear the sink running.

Joel moved through the house to where Y/n stood at the counter doing dishes. Sensing his presence before she even heard him, she looked over her shoulder and her face lit up. First upon seeing her husband, then at what he was carrying.

“Oh my gosh.”

Joel didn’t even try to temper his joy. “I know,” he smiled.

Y/n flicked the faucet off, her attention fully focused somewhere else. “Where?”

“Bud down the street,” Joel nodded in the general direction of their neighbor, “Said I could have it since no one was using it.”

There were only two things Y/n wanted for their patch-worked family: happiness and health. Music was directly correlated to a percentage of Joel’s happiness, making the guitar a gift from God himself.

She threw her hands out expectantly, “Well?”

Joel left the doorway and headed towards the living room, Y/n grabbing a towel to dry her hands and following suit. They perched themselves on opposite ends of the couch.

Joel adjusted the guitar on his knee before pausing, “It’s been so long.”

“It’s musical bike riding,” Y/n washed away his hesitation, “Play me something, cowboy.”

He chuckled under his breath, waiting just another few seconds before pressing down on the strings and forming a cord. The callouses needed weren’t a problem due to years of manual labor. Y/n and him both grimaced in anticipation of what twenty year old strings might sound like. Surprisingly, they were decent as Joel strummed once.

“Not bad,” he commented, “Little out of tune.”

But Y/n didn’t hear the imperfection. Nothing touched her. She was too struck by the sight in front of her. Joel, back in his element, plucking the strings. The way his hunched frame hanging over the guitar’s body was relaxed as ever. How his fingers found their way as naturally across the fretboard as if they’d touched the wood every day since Texas.

Joel was transported with each note. Back to some spiritual space where he had no fears and no worries. Nothing could break through his front door and destroy his life. No one could hurt him. The world didn’t cease to exist, it reframed itself. For every strum, every pick, every change of chord, the world held itself together without his help. He could just be.

However many minutes passed, neither one of them were sure. Y/n pulled herself back to reality enough to remember she had to finish cleaning before grabbing dinner from the mess hall. She swiped the tears beginning to form and got off the couch. Joel didn’t move, still transfixed.

Smiling, she leaned over her husband and kissed the top of his head. The guitar’s song sang sweetly for the rest of their evening.

——————

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