#you just know he's a monty python guy

[grindarkstudio]

Listen, I admit I have two modes: full on awesome illustrations with thought and purpose...

And niche fandom shitpost doodles.

[twistedteatime]

Super Soldier Theater: The Little Mermaid

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader, Steve Rogers x Reader, Stucky x Reader. It's not specific. No pronouns assigned to Reader past "you".

Summary: Bucky Barnes missed out on a lot while being controlled by HYDRA. Steve Rogers missed out on even more being frozen in ice. Since Sam has made it his mission to update them on music, you decide that it's your job to update them on what they've missed out on in cinema.

Chapter Summary: Deciding that the guys need a break from blood, monsters, and people getting eaten you decide that it's time to start them on Disney's animated movies. So, naturally, you choose The Little Mermaid. Nothing horrifying happens in that...right?

Word Count: 6.5K

Warnings: Mild Language (Steve will deal), warnings that come with The Little Mermaid, Bucky and Steve questioning logic and people's intelligence, Strong reactions to Ursula, Alpine being angry, other stuff I probably forgot.

A/N: Yeah...this...took a turn. Poll for the next movie is at the end. If you notice typos along the line of he instead of the or is instead of his, like a word out of place. It's my keyboard. I do not support my work being put into AI in any fashion

Ao3 Link: Super Soldier Theater: The Little Mermaid

Series Masterlist🍿MASTER Masterlist

Previous Movie:Jaws

Next Movie: Monty Python & The Holy Grail

You needed a break from MythBusters.

You didn’t regret introducing them to the show, but you needed a break from it. Reluctantly they agreed when you promised them it was going to be something completely different. Something classic and kid friendly.

Disney animation. The Little Mermaid to be exact.

You had debated starting with a different movie. Not Snow White. They were familiar with that. You contemplated starting with The Aristocats but decided against it after the mission they’d come back from and after deciding you didn’t need them trying to off the butler by dismantling the tv screen. Same thing with 101 Dalmatians.

Someone making a Poor Unfortunate Souls reference that they didn’t get was what tipped the scales towards The Little Mermaid for you. The fact that it was animation intrigued them both from the moment you mentioned that it was Disney. Still it took a few days for you all to actually be able to sit down and watch it together due to the mission debriefings that kept postponing movie night.

“Finally…a night at home…” Steve sighed as he put his feet up with his bowl of popcorn on one side of you while Bucky nodded with his Cracker Jack box on the other, “That mission was just…”

“Stupid.” Bucky said while handing you the remote.

“It was necessary, Buck.” Steve said but nodded when Bucky looked at him silently, blue eyes locked on blue eyes with a flat, unflinching gaze, “I could have gone without the crazy ferry boat guy trying to hide the explosives in a gas can stuffed with crawfish singing about crustaceans, though.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t jump on it.” You said and Steve sighed.

“The grenade was a dummy.”

“Don’t act like you haven’t jumped on anything else since then.” Bucky replied and you nodded in agreement while getting the movie started and Steve just licked his lips and sighed while shaking his head.

“Alright, enough. Time to watch the movie. Same rules as always. This is Disney so it’s different from the original tale written by Hans Christian Anderson by…a lot, but…it’s got music, pretty animation, and romance. There’s also a very fluffy dog.”

“Mao!” Alpine meowed from her perch on the couch and you reached over to pet her gently.

“You’re better, sweetie, and you know it.” You said, smiling as she purred, “Alright. Ready?”

They nodded so you hit play and relaxed, watching the opening castle sequence and waiting to see how long it’d take before you had to hit pause. You had a feeling you knew when and you weren’t wrong.

Their delighted fascination at the images dancing across the screen before them soon shifted to a glance of expectant knowing on Steve’s face and one of mischievous teasing on Bucky’s when Sir Grimsby’s green seasick face came on screen.

You paused.

“Get it out of your system.” Steve sighed and Bucky chuckled.

“That’d be you on that ship.” He said and Steve just rolled his eyes but nodded.

You said nothing and hit play again.

They were soon enraptured with the animation again. The colors, the fluidity, and the music. It was calming and they watched silently. Relaxed.

Then the seahorse herald announced King Triton’s arrival with his dolphin chariot lighting the chandelier in front of an ecstatic crowd. Steve narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. You weren’t entirely sure what was going to come out of his mouth but you knew it was something. Really you should have expected it.

“Why are those dolphins like horses but the seahorse has the frill thing?” he asked and you shut your eyes while silently chuckling and shaking your head.

“Because it’s Disney, Steve.” You said but Bucky had his own answer.

“Because you’d probly need 300 of those seahorses to pull Triton instead of three dolphins.” He said and Steve nodded.

You just shook your head and hit play again.

They watched the seahorse announce Sebastian excitedly then laughed when his fanfare was then played with a chorus of kazoos. The goldfish pulling him neighing like horses made Steve gesture at the TV again while Bucky narrowed his eyes and nodded in agreement.

“Disney.” You repeated and they gave up for the moment, watching the king and crustacean talk.

“What exactly is Sebastian?” Bucky asked while leaning over.

Steve answered.

“I think he’s a crab.” He said and you nodded and hit play so they could listen to Sebastian compliment Triton’s daughters and Ariel’s singing before complaining about Ariel not showing up to rehearsals.

You then stopped them from asking about how there was paper underwater, reminding them it was a cartoon before they silenced themselves to listen to the song Triton’s daughters sang. All with A names that the pair didn’t comment on.

They did comment on the huge empty clam shell opening up and Sebastian’s face in response along with Triton’s reaction. You paused, knowing this was going to be a more longwinded thing judging by Bucky’s face.

“They remind me of that one teacher we had whenever Steve would get into a fight in school.” He said and Steve thought and nodded.

“Yeah. Panic then anger, but it wasn’t my fault and you didn’t help.” He said and Bucky looked at him.

“Next time you ever have to go back in time make sure you tell my younger self to let you get flattened by Big Jim Bunson and every other guy in school.” He retorted.

“Don’t start.” You warned and pressed play when they nodded so you could watch the introduction of Ariel and Flounder.

They totally agreed with Flounder when he panicked about sharks. Then they stared in horror when it came into view. You mentally sighed.

You forgot about the shark scene.

“I feel so bad for Flounder…” Bucky said and Steve nodded before they both just stared dumbfounded at the screen when Ariel found the fork.

“Have you ever seen anything so wonderful in your entire life?!”

“Yeah.” Bucky said, “S’called a fork.”

Steve nodded and looked at Flounder when he questioned what it was before looking at Ariel when she said she didn’t know, “It’s basically the same shape as you fathers tri-the shark is outside.”

“Hmm…I wonder what this one is?”

“You have worse self-preservation instincts than Steve.” Bucky while shaking his head and Steve was too busy staring wide-eyed at the shark looming up behind Flounder in the window.

They watched carefully, and tensely, as the shark attacked and the chase scene began. Predictably they both yelled at Ariel when she went back for her bag with her things in it. They were relieved at the end when they got away.

They watched Scuttle, both arching an eyebrow but you waited until they looked at you when he declared the fork to be a dinglehopper. You remained silent and just smiled when they looked at you again when the bird described what the “dinglehopper” was used for. Then you paused.

“She has hair.” Steve said and you nodded.

“Her sisters have hair done up in hairstyles.” Bucky said and you nodded again.

“Do they not have combs?” Steve asked and you shrugged.

“I don’t know. I’m not a mermaid.” You replied and hit play and then pause again after Scuttle “explained” the use of the pipe and dated it back to prehistoric times when humans just stared at each other all day.

“I am so glad Sam isn’t here right now.” Bucky said and looked at you sternly when you smirked, “Don’t even say it.”

“Mm…I’ll be merciful. For now.” You smiled and Steve snickered before they watched as Ariel remembered the concert finally and took off.

At least until Flotsam and Jetsam showed up with their glowing eyes and Ursula made her first appearance.

Bucky shook his head back and forth at the screen, “No.”

“She’s a cartoon character, Bucky.” You soothed and he shook his head.

“No. I don’t like her. She’s evil. Why the tentacles?” He asked and Steve looked at you before he kept going, “Did they know? I doubt HYDRA would let themselves be portrayed as evil. I don’t remember anything to do with Disney.”

“Calm…breathe. It’s a children’s movie…” you soothed and he looked at you.

“She’s nightmare fuel!”

“She’s half calamari.” You replied and he calmed down with a deep breath, chuckling as Steve did when they both remembered what you had dubbed the HYDRA logo back when they first met you.

Calamari on Skull Island.

“Yes, she’s evil, but…it’s a Disney movie. They only stopped making the villains obviously different in recent years and they still actually kinda do that so…Ursula.” You continued and he nodded before letting you hit play again.

They watched as Triton scolded his daughter and as Sebastian helped him do so before Flounder attempted to defend her only to get her into more trouble when he mentioned the crazy seagull.

“What’s he got against humans?” Steve asked you and you paused when Ariel swam off upset with her father.

Bucky nodded, “Yeah, I mean…I get we kind of suck but it’s not that great and safe in the ocean. You got Jaws’s relative and then the tentacle lady. Not exactly safe.”

You paused to answer, thinking about it for a moment on how, “Well…it’s kinda complicated. This movie has sequels. Disney sequels…kind of have a reputation as being…crap compared to the originals. Some aren’t as bad as others. One of the ones for this explains why he hates humans so I’m…a bit torn on telling you outright. I’m leaning towards no because I want you both to see this as I did. The sequels took a good while to come out so Triton hating humans was just a thing for a long time that people theorized about.”

They nodded and accepted that answer. Pressing play again you all watched as Triton sighed, moped, and Sebastian complained about teenagers. It also allowed them a moment to see Triton as a concerned father, though you knew what was coming was going to trigger some thoughts from both.

Until that moment, though you watched them both stare flatly at the screen when Sebastian went off on what he’d do if Ariel was his daughter. Then they nodded when Triton thought before shaking their heads when he assigned Sebastian to keep an eye on Ariel.

“Saw that coming.” Bucky said and you and Steve both nodded then watched as Sebastian caught Ariel sneaking off with her bag and followed her, “It is so weird watching him swim…”

“Yeah…” Steve nodded as they watched him swim into Ariel’s grotto and stare at all the human stuff while Ariel sulked.

“I just don’t see things the way he does. I don’t see how a world that makes such wonderful things…could be bad.” She said; Bucky didn’t miss a beat.

“Try living in it.”

“SHH!” Steve shushed him when Ariel started singing.

You were surprised when they both just watched, listened, and thought. Quite honestly you were expecting some sort of comment but they both sat, listened, and watched. At least until you understood that it connected with them in two different ways…but that thought was quickly displaced.

“I betcha on land, they understand, they don’t reprimand their daughters. Bright young women, sick of swimmin’, ready to stand!”

“No.” both of them said shaking their heads and you sighed and paused.

“What?” Bucky asked blinking at you, “We all know that’s not what it’s like. ‘Specially back in the 40s.”

“Yeah. I mean…it’s better now but c’mon.” Steve said, “We’re adults and we get yelled at all the time. Sure we’re men but look at what Nat’s had to go through.”

“Yelena.” Bucky added.

“Peggy was far from typical for the day.” Steve added and Bucky nodded as did you.

“I know, but Ariel’s a teenager idealizing a world she’s fascinated with. Y’know…grass is always greener type of thing? Movie?” you reminded them and they nodded before allowing you to hit play again.

They returned to watching the rest of the musical sequence, enjoying it until Sebastian crashed into everything and started freaking out. Then they watched as she spotted the boat passing overhead and swam off, completely ignoring Sebastian. The question that came next was one that got you pretty good.

“Wait. It’s nighttime?” Steve asked and you nodded slowly, “How’s there light under the water then?”

“Yeah. I thought it’d be daytime. Sure it’s murky but…it’s underwater.” He said and you blinked.

It wasn’t exactly something you’d paid attention to, still you just shrugged and answered as simply and honestly as you could, “Movie logic.”

They nodded and let you hit play again to watch as Ariel surfaced and stared in wonder at the fireworks before swimming towards the boat. Comments on her self-preservation instincts followed. Then comments on the dog when Alpine meowed at the screen.

“C’mere, Al.” Bucky soothed and scooped her up to put her on his lap and pet her, “You’re better.”

“Mao.” She replied and purred, watching with him when Ariel spotted Eric and instantly fell in love.

Then Scuttle showed up.

“Is that seagull drunk?” Bucky asked and Steve thought for a moment.

“The seagull sounds familiar.” He said and Bucky nodded.

“Y’know…yeah. Rewind it.” He said and you rewound it to play the seagull again, and then again, “This is gonna drive me nuts…”

“Leonard Hacker.” Steve said and Bucky nodded, “He was enlisting about the same time we were. He’s not drunk it’s just how he talks.”

You googled it and nodded, “Yeah, Buddy Hackett was his stage name. Served three years in an anti-aircraft battery.”

Bucky nodded, “Alive?”

“No. He passed in 2003.” You explained and they shook their heads.

“Shame.” Bucky said and Steve nodded and you hit play again to let them watch Ariel swoon over Eric then watch Sir Grimsby introduce Eric’s statue of a very over the top statue before complaining about Eric not being about to get married, “I take it back. He’s not you, Steve. He’s Sam.”

“He’s Nat if she got seasick and was a man.” He replied and you shook your head at them then listened to Eric say that when he finds the girl of his dreams he’ll know.

“It’ll hit me. Like lightning.” He said and the clouds in the distance started flashing.

“Hurricane acomin’!”

You saw various questions on their faces when the hurricane was announced yet they didn’t say anything. They simply shook their heads and watched as the storm battered and hit against the boat and the sailors before it suddenly ran aground.

“Y’know. He’s goin’ back for his pet. He’s alright.” Bucky said before sighing as the screen focused on the powder barrel, “Of course they’re gonna blow him up.”

You bid your time and held your tongue. You knew you’d get your opportunity soon.

“Well, at least Ariel’s saving him. I mean, he should be in worse condition than that but…it’s a Disney movie.” Steve said and you nodded while watching the scene shift to the beach where Ariel was tending to Eric, “Okay, how’d she get him all that way out of the water?”

“Probly durin’ high tide and then just…kept hold of him. Or she’s stronger than she looks. She’s a mermaid.” Bucky replied and Steve nodded, eating some of his popcorn before choking on it as he laughed at Scuttle peeling Eric’s eye open then listening to his foot for a heartbeat.

Bucky laughed with him as well and you couldn’t help joining them even as Ariel started singing happily again when Eric started breathing. They calmed as Eric started coming around. Then, when the shot of Ariel looking down at Eric with the sun behind her came on…you couldn’t help yourself.

“So when Steve rescued you from the HYDRA base in Austria was that what he looked like with the light?” you asked and Bucky looked at you while Steve tried not to laugh again.

“I thought I was hallucinatin’ and then I was very confused because he was tall.” He answered and you nodded, smiling, “You’re up to somethin’…I know that smile.”

“Yeah…” Steve said slowly; you just smiled more and kept silent while hitting play.

The urge to point out the similarities between them and Eric and Ariel was strong, but you resisted. For now at least.

They let it go for the moment, watching Grimsby tease Eric about drinking too much sea water. Watching them watch Sebastian go on about forgetting the whole episode they’d been through so he’d stay in one piece you knew a comment was coming as it went in one ear and out the other with Ariel.

Bucky shook his head and glanced at you, “You’re saying Ariel is Steve…and y’know what? I agree. Talkin’ to him about not doing something dangerous is like talking to a brick wall. That whole thing. That was me back in the 40s tryin’ to keep him out of trouble. In one ear out the other.”

“What?” Steve asked with a smile that smile he wore whenever he was being purposely difficult and Bucky just shook his head while rolling his eyes and turning back to the screen when you unpaused it then paused it again when Ariel sang as Eric and Grimsby walked away, “They can’t hear that?”

“Apparently not.” Bucky answered and took a bite from his Cracker Jack box and you hit play again instantly causing him to scowl as the eels showed up and Ursula returned and started gloating about how easy it was before it showed her “garden”, “Ugh…what the hell did she do to them?”

“I don’t know, Buck, but it’s not right.” Steve said scowling at the screen.

“That entire lady isn’t right.” Bucky said and they watched the scene shift to Ariel with her sisters and the one announcing to their father that Ariel was in love, “Huh…”

“Triton took that well.” Steve said and the scene shifted to Sebastian pacing back and forth while Ariel daydreamed and picked petals to determine whether Eric loved her or not, “Well at least she has a plan.”

Bucky nodded then watched Sebastian try to get Ariel to stop daydreaming about Eric before the next music number began. They watched and listened, nodding with Sebastian reminding Ariel that the fish got eaten on the surface. All while Ariel went on unimpressed.

They continued watching as Sebastian went on about all the different fish and Flounder whispered some sort of plan. Sebastian was clearly having fun and they were clearly enjoying the animation and music, but neither were surprised when it ended with Ariel missing.

“Yep.” Bucky nodded, “I know how that feels. Enjoyin’ yourself…then you look over and…where’d they go?”

Steve said just pointed at the screen as it showed Triton happily imagining who the lucky merman to get his daughter was, “Shh.”

Bucky shook his head and scratched Alpine on the ears when she nudged his hand for attention. They both watched Triton question Sebastian and Sebastian try, and fail, not to panic or say anything.

They both then tilted their heads at the sight of the statue in Ariel’s grotto.

“This reminds me…” Bucky started and Steve sighed, “Yeah. Of that one weapons dealer that had a shrine to you.”

“Look, I know it was weird…but…well it was weird and yeah. It does.” Steve said and gestured at the screen, “I wanna know something more important. How’d Flounder get that statue into the grotto? It sinks so it’s obviously heavy.”

You knew he was just trying to divert the attention off of that particularly strange and somewhat uncomfortable mission, but you paused anyway. Bucky was nodding in agreement with him. They were also both looking at you.

“Disney…” you reminded them and they looked at you, eyebrows raised, “Look I don’t know how Flounder got the statue into the grotto. I don’t think it’ll even fit through the skylight. It’s a cartoon. For all we know he had a bunch of his family help him move it. Just watch the movie and stop questioning cartoon logic.”

They both nodded and you hit play. They grimaced at the sight of Triton watching his daughter swim about and cling to the statue of Eric. They watched the argument that took place, both shaking their heads.

Then they both scowled when Triton charged up the trident and destroyed all of Ariel’s treasures. Then Bucky scowled even more when the eels showed up and started talking.

“No.” he said and Steve looked at him.

“I mean, I can see how she’s tempted.” He said and Bucky looked at him scowling, “It’s not the same.”

“Of course you’d see how she’s tempted.”

“Don’t you two start arguing.” You said and hit play and they watched Ariel swim off with the two eels and Sebastian try to stop her.

“I agree completely with everything the crab says about Ursula. Stay the hell away from Tentacle Lady.” Bucky said and groaned when Ariel told the crab off, “Of course.”

“Well at least he’s not giving up.” Steve said and they looked at Ariel’s lair, “Okay she has an evil villain lair.”

“Yeah…that’s not creepy or a warnin’ sign.” Bucky added while petting Alpine, “She’s livin’ in the skeleton of a giant sea dragon thing. Sure. Totally fine. The shriveled-up husks of the Sea Witch’s victims are trying to stop you and you keep on going because this is such a good idea.”

You just let Bucky complain as Ursula talked and you looked at both him and Steve when she started singing. They both scowled. Then they gave her a new name.

“Zola.” They both said and you paused the movie while looking at them and they gestured at the screen.

“You can’t say we’re wrong.” Steve said, “HYDRA scientist. Got arrested. Given a reprieve by the government to start over and work for them. Still completely devoted to HYDRA and evil the whole time.”

Bucky nodded, “Yeah. ‘Oh, Sargent Barnes, you look so weak and tired, here let me strap you to this gurney and make you feel all better with my homebrewed super soldier serum’. That is Madam Zola.”

“She’s a cartoon character, boys.” You reminded them, hit play, then paused again when Ursula gave Ariel three days.

“Three days?!” Steve asked and you nodded.

“Same amount of time in the original story.” You said and they shook their heads and shook their heads when Ursula asked if she and Ariel had a deal.

They then shook their heads again when she asked for Ariel’s voice as payment. They watched in horror as Ursula made the potion while going on about how Ariel wouldn’t need her voice because human men really only wanted quiet women that were pretty and dumb. Both just shook their heads with sighs yet before they could say anything about that they were both face palming when Ariel signed the contract.

The wide-eyed look on their face while Ursula cackled insanely, shaded green on the tv was almost comical. Alpine hissing at the screen was, but you managed to hold it in

They watched as Sebastian and Flounder rushed Ariel to the surface after she was turned human. Alpine watched as well, meowing when the dog Max appeared on the screen again as Eric daydreamed about Ariel’s voice. Steve’s eyes narrowed.

“He’s not gonna recognize her because she can’t talk.” He said and you smiled.

“Mmmm…maybe.” You said and they watched as Ariel marveled over her feet and toes.

Then they shook their heads as Scuttle arrived and tried to guess what was different about her until Sebastian blurted it out angrily then began freaking out and panicking. They watched as he slowly understood when Ariel looked at him before agreeing to help her. Then raised their brows when Scuttle said he was going to dress Ariel like a human.

“Oh this’ll be good.” Steve said and Bucky nodded, petting Alpine when she cuddled into him more as Max barked, “Just a cartoon dog, Al.”

“Mao.” She replied and Bucky nodded.

“Not real.” He said and nodded at what Scuttle dressed Ariel in, “I was imagining much worse actually.”

“Yeah.” Steve nodded, “So was I.”

You nodded in agreement and watched as they watched while Eric discovered Ariel and she smiled at him excitedly.

Then you waited as Eric looked at her, staring into her eyes as if he had a revelation only to say she looked familiar as he looked at her thoughtfully. Thoughtfully but cluelessly and obviously not remembering the person that saved his life.

“Have we met?”

Steve looked at Bucky. Bucky hit the pause button himself and looked at Steve and then you. You tried not to smile, but it was a lost cause.

“Yeeessss?” you asked and he licked his lips, eyes narrowed as he gathered his thoughts and Steve just smiled slowly and full of amusement that bordered on mischief mixed with retribution.

“I’ll get you for this.” He said and you blinked at him as innocently as you could, “Don’t give me that. You’re both telling me that I’m Eric.”

“Yes.” You nodded and smiled more, “And if you start trying to get me back for it…we’re gonna watch Alien next and that will give you nightmares.”

“We already know aliens exist.” Bucky said and you tilted your head with a smile.

“How about the kind that burst out of your chest after hugging your face against your will?” you asked and he looked at you in horror, “Yeah…so…shush and watch the nice animated cartoon movie where you get to be an oblivious prince and Steve is a sheltered mermaid that thinks forks are hairbrushes.”

Steve laughed until he scowled, “I am not Ariel.”

“You are so Ariel.” Bucky retorted and you hit play so they could watch Ariel and Eric interact and watch her try to pantomime an explanation to him that she lost her voice before falling into his arms, “Yep. You.”

“Shut up, Eric.” Steve retorted and Bucky scowled at him.

“Knock it off.” You said with a smile, “Ariel.”

They both quieted down so you hit play again, the scene with Ariel enjoying her first bubble bath playing out with Sebastian being subjected to a scrubbing board and then being flattened. They both grimaced at it then tilted their heads when he was just flattened. A look from you silenced them, causing them to nod and mumble “cartoon, right” before watching as Sebastian landed in the kitchen.

“Oh no…” Steve said and you smiled as Sebastian fainted at the sight of stuffed crabs.

They then watched as Eric argued with Grimsby before staring in awe at how pretty Ariel was when she was presented to him. They nodded as he pushed her chair in for her, clearly approving, then they both shook their heads when she started to use the fork to brush her hair and blew into the pipe. What really got a reaction from them was hearing the chef’s “special” was.

“Stuffed…”

“Crab?”

“Yep.” You smiled, “And now the musical number Les Poissons. Queue the crazy French chef guy singing about how much he loves fish and cooking them…with murderous glee.”

“What?” they both asked and you just pointed at the screen.

They jumped as he started chopping up the fish with hard zealous strikes of his cleaver. Faces contorted in confused horror while Sebastian nearly puked at the sight of it. Looking at them you could see they felt sorry for the crab.

Looking at Alpine you could tell she was getting hungry.

“Hee hee hee…”

“Haw…haw…haw…”

You snickered but didn’t pause.

“Zut Alors! I have missed one!”

“Run Sebastian! Run!” Bucky said and Steve nodded.

“Guy loves his job but there’s something not right in his head.” Steve added, eyes wide as the chef started to prepare the little crab and stuff him, “He’s still alive!”

“Eh? What is this? Oh!”

They both jumped as the music shifted and Sebastian began fighting back and trying to escape. Heads bobbed to the music as smiles spread across their faces. At least until Louis the chef dove headfirst towards Sebastian with the cleaver in his hand.

“I think I’d better go see what Louis is up to.”

“You really don’t want to do that, ma’am.” Steve said and Bucky shook his head.

“No…it’s…gonna be bad.” He said and flinched at the mess depicted in the next scene then stared Steve at the sight of the chef’s torn clothes and disheveled appearance, “You need a new job.”

“I hope they’re not gonna serve her fish…” Steve said they watched Eric gaze at Ariel and Bucky smiled.

“See. He recognizes her. He’s not me.”

“Mhmm…” you nodded, knowing fully well what was gonna happen later and they watched Sebastian scamper across the table into Ariel’s dish she slammed shut before agreeing to join Eric on a tour of his kingdom the next day.

“Wonderful! Now let’s eat before this crab wanders off my plate!” Grimsby said with a smile.

“Too late.” You all said at the same time and laughed lightly then watched Ariel gaze down at Eric playing with his dog only to wave shyly and retreat bashfully into her room when he noticed her.

“And she’s still using the fork to brush her hair…” Bucky said and listened to Sebastian talk about the day being the single most humiliating one of his life then watched Ariel sink into the bed.

Both Steve and Bucky nodded but otherwise were silent while listening to Sebastian go on about what to do the next day to Ariel to get Eric to kiss her. That’s when the silence ended.

“Crabs don’t have lips.” Steve said and Bucky looked at him.

“Cartoon.” He reminded him and nodded when seeing that Ariel was asleep, “Yep. She takes advice as well as you do, too.”

You just shook your head at the two, “Don’t start.”

They nodded and watched as the seahorse ran back to Triton, reporting that they couldn’t find Ariel or Sebastian anywhere. They were clearly conflicted about how they felt about Triton at this point. Seeing a need for them to voice this you paused on the image of Triton sitting on his throne regretfully.

“You lost your temper is what you did.” Bucky said and Steve nodded.

“Yeah, after being a racist jerk, but…I have to give it to him…he at least seems to care about his kids.” He said and you nodded as did Bucky.

“Yeah…just wants to keep ‘em safe. Can’t blame him for that…but…y’know…if he wasn’t so hardheaded this might not have happened.”

“Yeah, but Ursula would have still found a way to interfere.” Steve said and Bucky nodded vigorously.

“Oh yeah. No doubt. She’s still gonna do something horrible.” He said and you nodded and pressed play when they signaled for you to.

They watched as Ariel was given a tour of the kingdom, enjoying the sights, scenes, and activities, including dancing. Bucky nodded with approval, for a moment. Then he shook his head.

“No…no…don’t let her drive! She’s Steve! You don’t let Steve…drive.” He said and shook his head as Ariel took off.

“I don’t drive like that.” Steve protested and gestured at the screen, “Besides they’re fine. See?”

You just shook your head and they looked at the screen when Scuttle said that the scene called for vocal romantic stimulation.

“I do not think ‘seagull song’ as romantic stimulation.” Bucky said with a chuckle Steve shared while shaking his head.

“No. Yes, Sebastian you’re surrounded by amateurs.” He said and tilted his head, “How’d they all know to listen to him?”

Bucky sighed, “Because Sebastian is a famous court composer. I don’t know. Shh, maybe you can learn something about setting a mood for once.”

“What’s that mean?” Steve said and you looked at him.

“Shh.” You said and he sighed and they watched, then watched Eric try to guess Ariel’s name.

“She does not look like a Mildred.” Bucky said and Steve shook his head.

“Rachel isn’t too bad. Wait, he can actually understand Sebastian?” Steve asked and you nodded.

“Disney movie.” You reminded him and they watched as the animals sang and then as the flamingos shut Scuttle up before the kiss was interrupted by the eels knocked them both out of the water.

“I knew it!” Bucky said and pointed at the screen, “Don’t you call Ariel a tramp you over-purpled calamari broad! I hope Jaws eats you.”

“What is she doing?” Steve asked you and you just pointed at the screen.

“Just watch and Jaws isn’t in this movie.” You said and Bucky looked at you still gesturing at the screen as Eric played his flute and moped.

“There’s a shark! That counts!” he said and you nodded then they both glared when Ariel’s voice started playing out of the shell around the mysterious woman’s neck and cast the spell on Eric.

“Oh…hell no!” Bucky growled while staring wide-eyed full of wrath at the screen.

“Shit.” You thought to yourself, “Movie! Cartoon! Calm…down…”

“Did she just brainwash Eric?” Steve asked and you threw a piece of popcorn at his head, “Hey! No throwin’ food!”

“Shut up!” you said and gestured at Bucky glaring at the screen.

“She’s right, Buck. It’s a movie.” He said and Bucky nodded, taking a deep breath.

“Right. Movie. Cartoon. Disney.” The ex-assassin nodded, relaxing then scowled at Scuttle flying in and excitedly babbling to Ariel “He’s getting married…not to Ariel. He’s getting married to that evil b-yep. There she is.”

“Oh no…” Steve said, shaking his head.

“I know and if this were the original story you’d be both very upset, but this is Disney.” You said and they looked at you briefly before scowling at Ursula singing in the mirror, “In the original story he does get married to some princess he thought rescued him, but it’s not the sea witch, though she does try to get Ariel to stab them both with a dagger so she doesn’t turn into sea foam.”

“What?” they asked and you gestured at the screen as Scuttle asked if he’d ever been wrong.

“Yes.” They both said.

“When it’s important?!”

“Debatable.” Bucky said and they watched Sebastian make a plan and put Scuttle to work stalling the wedding after having Flounder tow Ariel, “Okay so the fish is stronger than he looks.”

“Apparently.” Steve said and ate some popcorn, “I wanna see what Scuttle does.”

“Mh.” Bucky nodded as he ate some of his own snack and they watched him squawk and gather the other wildlife, “This’ll be good.”

They then watched as Ursula’s human form kicked the dog Max, scowling. Bucky scowled intensely at the sight of Eric just standing there stock still, responding “I do.” Like a robot. At least until the animals attacked.

Then the most satisfied smirk appeared on his face. Steve chuckled as he looked at Bucky and watched the ensuing chaotic fight, including Max pausing before biting down hard on the “bride’s” butt.

“Good dog.” He said and both frowned when the shell amulet broke until realizing it was a good thing, breaking the mind control on Eric, but both of them frowned as they talked, “Shut up and kiss already!”

Ursula cackled as the sun set and you had to physically sit on Bucky to stop him from leaping at the screen when the witch grabbed Ariel and gloated. Steve launched out of the couch and grabbed Alpine in mid-leap the screen, having let out an affronted growl at it.

“No!” he told her, landing on the floor before holding her as he got up, “It’s just a movie.”

“Movie!” You reminded Bucky as he scowled and pointed his finger at the screen.

“S’not fair! S-she violated the contract! She interfered!” he protested and you nodded as he watched Triton bargain with Ursula to save his daughter.

“I know, Buck, but it’s gonna be okay.” Steve said while comforting the cat.

“That’s not how royal succession works!” Bucky scowled and Steve nodded.

“I know, but movie. Movie.” You said and pointed as Eric stopped Ursula from hurting Ariel, “See, they’re gonna fight back. It’s gonna be a battle, but it’s gonna be okay.”

He took a deep breath but nodded and smirked when Ursula zapped her own eels, “Good. Wait…what’s she doin’?”

“Well…she’s made herself a bigger target.” Steve said and Bucky nodded, watching Ursula brag about her power and bring up the sunken ship.

“Yeah, a very big target for a very big spear.” He said and nodded when Eric rammed the boat straight through Ursula, “Good.”

Steve nodded as well but didn’t question how Eric got to the shore so fast, he was busy petting Alpine, calming her from seeking revenge on the tv for upsetting Bucky, “Yeah. See, princess? The bad lady’s gone. All gone.”

“This better have a happy endin’ or I swear…” Bucky grumbled and you nodded while pointing at the screen as Ursula’s garden captives were transformed back to normal, including Triton.

They watched Triton show remorse, looking at Sebastian when he said kids needed to be free. They both shook their heads at that before smiling when Triton expressed how much he was going to miss his daughter before turning her into a human. Both were emotional as the music picked up and transitioned to the two getting married after kissing.

They then laughed when Louis the Chef returned to chase Sebastian only for the crab to win once again by cutting a rope. They then both watched Triton embrace his daughter before letting her go be with her new husband, sailing off into the rainbow together.

The credit music started playing after the last kiss, you hesitated for a moment, “So…maybe…maybe you’re not ready for Disney movies just yet. That…uh…that had a strong reaction…”

“Ursula is pure evil and shoulda been chopped, fried, and put in some Japanese sushi dish you feed to prisoners.” Bucky said with a scowl and Steve nodded.

“Music was good though.” He said and Bucky nodded, relaxing a bit as the music played again.

“Yeah. Scuttle was funny.” He added and Steve nodded.

“Animation was gorgeous.” He said and Bucky nodded.

“Oh yeah. Absolutely. All of the animation was great. Different from Snow White but still Disney and great.”

“What are the sequels like?” Steve asked and you shook your head.

“We’re not watching the sequels right now. You two need a break.”

1 Week Later

“Bucky…what the hell did you order?” you asked as you set the box down on the table that had just been delivered.

Steve set his coffee cup down to stare at the large box and nodded, “Yeah…Buck…what is that?”

“I ordered some cat toys for Alpine.” He answered and opened the box with one of his knives and you started shaking your head when you saw what it all was.

“Really, Bucky?” you asked and he smiled and tossed the Ursula shaped kicker toy on the floor that Alpine promptly launched herself at to punish followed by two jingling Flotsam and Jetsam toys she smacked repeatedly with her paw.

“Good girl.” Bucky said with a smile and sipped his coffee.

A/N: I couldn't help the comparison between Bucky and Eric and Steve and Ariel. I mean...I only have so much restraint. As for Bucky's reaction, well...he feels strongly about things. Time to decide the next one!

I hope you enjoyed it! Please feel free to let me know! I appreciate all likes, I do because it lets me know you like it, but if you really like it reblog it and if you really really like it comment and tell me, write some tags, send an unhinged gif. It's all accepted and I'm not picky, just let me know.

That is all.

Ao3 Link: Super Soldier Theater: The Little Mermaid

Series Masterlist🍿MASTER Masterlist

Taglist: @maryevm

Previous Movie:Jaws

Next Movie: Monty Python & The Holy Grail

🍿Winner: Money Python & The Holy Grail🍿

[vaspider]

You know, John Cleese showed his whole ass like ten years ago, but finding out that he and Graham Chapman and Eric Idle (among others) bullied Miriam Margoyles when they were all in Footlights together and made a point of not inviting her to the cast party bc she had the gall to be a woman and funny instead of merely decorative just

"Oh, but Spider, that was over 60 years ago." Yeah & of that group of 6 she named, one has apologized, and it wasn't any of the Monty Python guys

[dark-lord-of-awesomeness]

Please consider: venus vampire trap Stan gives a fright to that one cat-curse witch, and turns into venus vampire trap Nikola.

To everyone else it's just like a muppet cat turns out to be the Monty Python rabbit (if you don't know about Monty Python rabbit, you should look that scene up, it's a classic! but imagine Salem from Sabrina in its place instead).

To Stan it's "For some reason I've become a cat, but odd muggers still try to bite me 😔". Ford is still in denial about his vampire cat trying to write and saying SOS in Morse. Emma-May is barely holding herself from descending into full-on mad biologist on Nikola. Fiddleford is going slowly mad trying to build the catranslator that constantly gets destroyed in the gang everyday chaos and vampire attacks. Bill has no idea where that cat even came from and why it's not Ford's twin, but at this point it's too late to ask. Stan thinks it's a little irresponsible to feed so much ice cream to your not that big cat but who's he to say no to some delicious treat!

Lol. Cat Venus Vampire Stan, Fords pet cat vampire he's feeding vamps too and vents to about Bill the teenage vampire overlord who's obsessed with him.

(I am aware of the rabbit, its a classic truly).

Stan's living a nightmare cat life where he's a cat but still smell super delicious to vampires so he keeps getting grabbed by weirdo's too into biting. Luckily they also still don't like it when he bites them, so he's managed to get through his new cat life in one piece (hmm. I imagine drinking blood is very much a version of stealing, meaning the curse is never gonna fade away on its own here). No one's picking up Stan's communication attempts as Stan calling for help, instead seeing it as advanced intelligence due to his vampiric state. The only reason he hasn't been dissected by a too eager Emma-May is because he exclusively eats vampires and thats a super useful kind of cat to have around. Ford has to keep rescuing him from her lab when she nabs him to run a million non fatal tests. No one knows why 'Nikola' likes Ford so much, but too many people keep saying its because he knows Bill likes him. Maybe 'Nikola' was Bill's attempt at a guard? So that other vampires can't get too cozy? Maybe 'Nikola' can sense Bill's favor? Ford hates all these theories because Nikola is his little vampire hunting buddy, and Stan hates them for the obvious reasons of 'hey! Bill's that guy who bit me! And I'm not a guard anything! Vampires aren't real!'

Bill has no idea about this weird cat thats eating all his men, but he also heard the rumors through being a creep and he can't let on that he's just as confused as everyone else. His teen pride can't handle the hit of the mystery vampire eating cat.

Him and Ford have a weird meet up at a obsucure library where they're both looking into mythology to see if vampire eating cats have ever been a thing that existed, and Bill tries one (1) flirt then screams when Stan pounces on his face. Ford doesn't help him but he does need to pull Stan off and run when the librarians start chasing them for being loud.

[mamawasatesttube]

6 or 17 for TimKon? :)

6. "Don't move, you're still hurt." 17. "Can you hear me?"

Consciousness slams into Tim like a breaking wave. It knocks the breath from his lungs and leaves him spluttering, gasping for breath—an instant mistake, because painpainpain explodes in his chest so hard he nearly passes out again.

"Whoa, Rob, chill out! Don't you dare move. You're still hurt!"

Kon, Tim thinks woozily, trying his hardest to blink the stars from his vision. He can't breathe from the agony. But he... he needs to protect Kon. A vague sense of impending doom floats through his mind, something green, something...

A tower. Why is he thinking of a tower? And blood. So much blood.

He has to protect Kon—

He can't move. He tries to sit up again and he can't move. A gentle but immovable pressure surrounds his whole body, keeping him in place, and he can't move. Panic floods him. He needs to protect Kon and he can't move and—

"Dammit, Rob, I said keep still! Can you hear me?"

...Oh. For the first time, Tim realizes that there's a reason that "blinking the stars out of his vision" didn't work. He never actually opened his eyes.

With effort, he forces his eyelids up, squinting against the dust in the air. He coughs. Pain lances through his chest.

Kon swears under his breath. He's—he's here? He's not hurt? He's... crouching in the rubble, bodily shielding Tim, and... and he's okay. He isn't bleeding, his body is whole and not twisted and broken and bloodied, and... and...

Emotion wells up in Tim's chest, underneath all the pain. He clears his throat and rasps, "Kon?"

"Hey, hot stuff." Kon flashes him a quick smile. "Hold still. You've got four broken ribs. Maybe a concussion too. Hard to say this soon, but..."

Oh. That would explain why breathing hurts. Tim squints up at Kon, then around him, trying to figure out where everyone else went. Weren't they fighting some... guy? Guys? Some Intergang guys... Right, and they were armed with Apokoliptian, um... thingies. And...

Now Tim remembers the reason for "green". Someone had a Kryptonite-tipped rifle round. Musta paid a fortune to Luthor to get that, or else they were doing the bastard a favor. Ugh...

"Your spine isn't damaged, thankfully," Kon continues. He tilts his head and narrows his eyes off into the distance, listening to something Tim can't hear, watching something Tim can't watch, and then looks back down to Tim. "Okay. Coast is clear. I'm gonna get you to the hospital."

Hospital? Eh. Everyone knows broken ribs just need a few weeks of rest. Tim grunts. "Hn. 'M fine."

Kon gives him the flattest look known to mankind. "You need a CT scan to check if you have a concussion. Also, need I remind you, four broken ribs?"

He exhales shortly, raking a hand through his hair; he only does that when he's stressed. He rests his hand on Tim's hip, and suddenly they're both floating into the air. It's odd, because Tim is still laid out flat and can't actually move, but he's used to Kon by now.

Still, though. "S'only flesh wounds." He just needs to sleep it all off. It's fine. They can watch Monty Python while he rests.

Kon, though, doesn't seem to appreciate the humor. The sky is a brilliant blue around him; the wind whips his ponytail around his face. He looks unimpressed. "Tim, your suit might be made of kevlar 'n' stuff, but it's not made to stop rifle rounds! Seriously, what were you thinking?"

Tim frowns. Isn't it obvious what he was thinking? "Had to protect you."

Kon stares at him for a long moment, flying effortlessly towards Metropolis General Hospital without even having to look. Several emotions flicker through his eyes too fast for Tim's dazed mind to follow, until finally he sighs, rakes his free hand through his hair again, and mutters, "What am I gonna do with you?"

That's another question with an obvious answer. Tim grunts again. "Mmph. Cherish and love me forever. Duh."

This time, he wins—Kon smiles despite himself, shaking his head as he starts descending towards the hospital rooftop. "Yeah, okay," he says, and leans down to brush his lips to Tim's dusty cheek. "Guess I'm okay with that."

Tim smiles.

[friendofthesharks]

SFTH as things my high school physics teacher said

I unearthed the quote book my friends and I made while suffering through physics with the weirdest man on the planet as our teacher so…here you go I guess?

AJ: Why am I having deja vu? Or maybe it’s vu ja de, which means none of this has happened before.

-

Sam: I’m just an adult that acts like a twelve-year-old.

-

Luke: I’m trilingual today, which means I try to use a language.

-

Tom: The world doesn’t deserve me, even if you guys do.

-

Sam: Wait, you speak French?

AJ: Not anymore. I had to make room in my brain for quantum physics and Monty Python quotes.

-

Luke: Why would any sane person give Tom coffee?

Sam: Why would any insane person give Tom coffee?

-

AJ: See what I did? I’m always thinking, except when I’m not.

-

Tom: This is an SNL sketch waiting to not be aired. But I find it funny.

-

Sam: When I want to talk concave mirrors, I go to Luke. When I want to talk Star Wars, I go to Tom.

-

AJ: If I were a supervillain, I’d use my doomsday weapon to give everyone hiccups.

-

Sam: Do you miss Luke?

AJ: No.

Tom: Wow, at 9:53, shade was thrown.

-

AJ: Say you’re in a box-

Tom: That’s Friday night. I’ve said too much.

-

Sam: *points multiple marble shooters at Tom while he’s minding his own business, doing work*

-

Luke: Now it’s the Sam-desk system, which sounds like a cool band name if you ask me.

-

Tom: It’s just like when I think I have money, and then I buy something and find out I don’t.

AJ: My cat has all my money. She keeps it in a box under my bed and whenever I go near it ‘meow, meow, hiss’

-

Tom: Tom knows fractals, Tom knows chaos theory, Tom IS chaos theory.

-

Sam: AJ-

AJ: Where?

Sam: …You’re right there.

AJ: Oh, good.

[capn-atlas]

Introduction :3 (Please read this before following)

[disclaimer- this post is not screenreader friendly. here is the link to the screenreader friendly one]

collective names--- Captain, Atlas, Anna, Cheshire, Saffron, and moots can use Atty/Addy

collective pronouns--- he/she/they/xe/any

collective genders--- genderfluid, non-binary

quick alter intros---

Anna/Atlas, she/xe/he/they/star/ze/any, *bodily age*, host, no full intro, this post is mainly written by me and is basically my full intro, I am an age regressor and I regress to around 3-4 years old Lennon, he/they/star/xe, 16, big brother of the system, new intro currently in prorgress, in an in-sys relationship with Maddelleine Eva, she + any neos, 6, syskid, full intro 1 (by Eva), full intro 2 (by Anna) Riko, he/him, 8, syskid/"Eva regulator", full intro (by Riko) Enzo, he/him, 7, syskid, full intro 1 (by Enzo), full intro 2 (by Anna) Maddelleine, she/her/him, 16-20 (age slider), protector//syskid caretaker, full intro (by Anna), in an in-sys relationship with Lennon Starwork, she/it/xe, age unknown, no role, no full intro Athena, she/her, age unknown, no role, no full intro Bella, she/her/they, 10, no role, no full intro Arley, she/they/bun/he, 3-5 (age slider), syskid, full intro (by Arley/unknown cofronter) Maxie/Bingo, he/they, 3, syskid, full intro (by Maxie and Anna)

we are an endogenic system. Anti-endos will not be tolerated on this blog. If you are anti-endo, please DNI. Endo-neutrals are okay.

I am very done with labels but uh girl pretty and no sex woohoo (basically lesbian/neptunic asexual or some shit idk man)

theriotypes--- brown wolf (Anna), black cat (Anna), brown rat (Anna), moth (not sure what type) (Anna), red fox (Lennon), meerkat (Enzo), prairie dog (Enzo), border collie (Riko), t-rex (Eva), tabby cat (Maddelleine)

fictionkin-types--- Cheshire Cat (Alice in Wonderland) (Anna), Mabel (Gravity Falls) (Eva)

otherkin-types--- alien (Anna, Riko, and Eva), deer cryptid (Anna), angel (Anna and Athena), winged cat (Bella)

objectkin-types--- doll (Anna), puppet (Anna)

current interests--- Only Murders in the Building, Wednesday (the show), Wicked (the musical, movie, and book), My Little Pony (Friendship is Magic, and we're on season two), botulism (a disease), Sweet Tooth, Arcane, Chicago (the musical)

currently watching--- MLP- FIM (season three), Call the Midwife (ITS A GOOD SHOW) (season nine)

favourite shows--- GLEE!!!!,Only Murders in the Building, The Owl House, Gravity Falls, MLP, Call the Midwife (I watch it with my mom it's actually a good show don't make fun of us), Wednesday, Bob's Burgers, My So-Called Life, A Series of Unfortunate Events, Sweet Tooth, Arcane

favourite movies--- Nimona, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, The Princess Bride, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Tangled, Beauty and the Beast, The Little Mermaid,

favourite musicals/movie musicals--- Wicked, Rent, Hairspray, The Greatest Showman (Ik Barnum was actually like. A horrible guy but The Other Side is so good that I don’t care actually), Come From Away, Chicago

poetry we've written care for some really depressing words?

our art request blog: @capn-atlas-art-requests

BEFORE YOU FOLLOW:

We are bodily, and mostly collectively, minors. 18+ can follow us, but NO DMs if you are over 18.

We do not like to swear. We will occasionally, such as when we are very upset or excited, and Maddelleine swears sometimes, but for the most part we do not. If you know you are interacting with one of the littles, please do not swear. Otherwise, go crazy.

DNI:

anti-therians/furries

TERFS

queerphobes (e.g. homophobes, transphobes, biphobes)

pedos

zoos

radqueers

any explicitly NSFW blogs

anti-endos

people that sexualize age-regressors

people that sexualize therians/furries

and just general assholes (basic DNI)

other than that, be respectful to us and we'll be respectful to you.

REQUESTS:

Alterhuman pfps (include the 'type/animal, what symbol (if any) you'd like me to put on the forehead, and if possible include a photo of the 'type so I don't get mixed up, and if you’d like a pride flag or two or three)

Name requests! (moots only) you may request a name/nickname from us if you are a moot. (examples)

beloved moots--- @mxmorbidmidnight @pocketsizedking @specss00 @thelab-experiment @but-aint-this-texas

@andromeda-flipss is my beautiful queer-platonic partner ❤️❤️❤️❤️

dividers by @kodaswrld Userboxes (first five by @kthecritter, goose one by @but-aint-this-texas, comfort one by @ghosting-plural-userboxes, and last three by @goldtouchuserboxes [base by @ghosting-plural-userboxes]) under the cut!

guys be nice. ^ as you can see, a morbid goose protects this blog. @mxmorbidmidnight is that morbid goose. ze will come for your head. (if ur not nice)

[gawrkin]

Do you think there's potential if you can use Chief Bard Taliesin as The Fourth Wall/Meta Guy™ of Arthuriana?

As in, Taliesin - as a supernatural storyteller, arguably superior to the prophetic Merlin - being an almighty observer of ALL continuities of Arthuriana, able to know who is who, what happens in what version, and just being able to jump in and out of the different storylines whenever he wants.

One moment, Taliesin is hanging out in Caerleon-on-Usk, performing for Lucius Artorius Castus and then teleport on over to laugh at Monty Python!Arthur and co. getting owned by the killer rabbit.

In another scene, Taliesin talks about the different versions of the Grail Quest to Arthur and Peredur, giving comments about what he likes and doesn't like about each one, while expressing how he's annoyed with the French writers obsession with Lancelot and Tristan. Also, Taliesin gets to talk about all the different love interests of Lancelot and Gawain to French!Lancelot (who's in complete meltdown) and Welsh!Gwalchmai, who's like 😎

Taliesin predominantly hangs out with Merlin, his tutor Blaise and fellow aspiring bard, Sir Dinadan, inside Magic Treehouse!Morgan's Treehouse but every once in a while, Taliesin gets into an adventure and then brings along whatever character he needs, from Sir Segurant and Culhwch to BBC Merlin!Merlin and Fate!Artoria.

[sleepyisnotagamer]

wizard101 worlds in sort of order but I tell it how it really is

Wizard City - you've been isakai-ed off of Earth by this old man and his owl and suddenly you're like the chosen one who has to save the city and fix everybody's problems. you get the feeling that this theme will continue.

Krokotopia - the kroks sure are here but it ain't a utopia, it's a takeover! and also these archeologist dogs are here. you don't know it yet but you hate them.

Grizzleheim - your scandanavian sanctuary against the evils of the world(s). also there's evil in this one but you're having a good time about it. only little bits of saving at a time.

Marleybone - this is where those dogs are from and yeah, they suck. cats are the enemy for no good reason and you'd prefer not to save the smog-ridden sky but you're a good person.

Wysteria - aren't you supposed to be speedrunning through the worlds so you can catch this necromancer dude? why are you suddenly asked to take part in a wizard school competition that feels depressingly like cleaning up yet another set of messes (because you are. cleaning up other peoples' messes. again.)?

Mooshu - this is a breath of fresh air, and you feel cheered by the color in the world. you're really not into how many miles you have to run to save it, though. also is like all of asia here? accidentally?

Dragonspyre - this is where the big baddie you've been trying to apprehend this whole time comes from. it's in ruins now but you can judge the architecture anyway. after tromping through far too many red-bricked streets you stop the man from resurrecting his dead wife and surely you will never see him again.

Celestia - so apparently some aliens (in a universe of separate worlds that are inhabited by mostly anthropomorphic animals and sometimes humans are here too) invented astral magic and you should team up with those blasted archeology dogs to learn it. so you do, because you are but a pawn in this game. it sucks.

Zafaria - you explore africa at large to rescue some students and along the way meet an archnemesis, learn to loathe elephant tombs, and don't catch the new baddie on the horizon: goth lady.

Avalon - you're stuck in an entirely unfunny version of monty python and the holy grail and it's just young wizard and the quests that you didn't sign up for. this sword you get doesn't make up for the dragons you have to slay.

Azteca - this is a beautiful world and you know what? you're rather keen to save it. there's a comet looming and as the chosen one you're destined to save the world from the apocalypse. that doesn't happen. you don't save the world. you don't- you don't save the world. also dead wife guy is a zombie now?!

Khrysalis - welcome to bug world, please don't state your name for the record and: infiltrate the shadow ranks, save a precious deermouse bean, spend way too long finding all kinds of new bugs for your monster collection, meet this totally harmless hermit guy and finally squash that goth lady.

Polaris - so it turns out the harmless hermit guy was actually a super old cosmic entity named grandfather spider, very estranged husband of grandmother raven, who by the way has been in your ear from time to time during your questing. anyway spider is bad so let's go join a couple entirely separate revolutions and don't freeze out there in the snow. also. Ratsputin.

Arcanum - oh by the way, even though you spent all your time doing extracurriculars (saving the spiral), you've still managed to graduate wizard school! so you get to go to wizard university! yay.

Mirage - you get the distinct impression that you're in a very extended reference but, gee, idk, whatever could it be? anyway you cross the deserts and fight the spider guy and he gets away, taking a new friend that you just made with him. dang. you just can't have nice things.

Empyrea - you get to use a space ship! unfortunately it comes with annoying pigs. but you get to experience top pop culture, and there's a bat! man. you labor throughout this endless world until you finally get to...sing songs and get the most ancient couple in the world back together. hooray? the spiral is saved. probably.

Karamelle - what if. what if candyland was not, in fact, a wonderful magical place, but a bureaucratic nightmare? it would not be fun.

Lemuria - it's a good time! there's a neo-noir detective mystery to solve, and also this guy that isn't anything is becoming something! and he is your friend. this is very important.

Novus - so the colonizers are colonizing and you are not a fan of that. and the nothing-something guy that is your friend is having an existential crisis but that makes sense because he kinda just pseudo-exists. sort of. he's like. um. becoming a world!

Wallaru - the dreaming! is bad. and the combat wombats! are uncanny. and. and you have to defeat this frog. and deal with petulant spiky balls that lowkey drive you to drink...dreamwater, maybe. but uh. you do it! wait, did you just save it all? everything? that's kinda chosen one-core, babe.

Selenopolis - what if - and hear me out - you went back to krokotopia. but this time you went to a section where you got to learn new magic skills and learned how to cheat at cards? well. learned how your enemies cheat at cards, anyway. and! it was. nice looking. eh?

presumably you acquired some sort of dwelling place where you have lots of nice couch potatoes growing and your pets scamper about and you can just chill where nobody can bother you. and your achievements only have to happen on a volunteer basis. and you can make stuff. and show off your stuff. and not save the world. again.

[justadram]

In "A Game of Thrones" the character Jorah Mormont has a famous quote where he says that the common people don't care who sits on the throne as long as the people are left alone. Does this accurately capture the sentiment of peasants in medieval Europe?

Oh my god, yes. Monty Python's peasants don't know or care and that's 100% accurate. The local lord, the local monastery--those are the authorities that shape their lives. Peasants lived incredibly insular lives to the point where they couldn't really picture a world beyond their village. I'll give you an example.

I study the inquisition and heresy. One of the early examples of anticlerical heresies has inquisitorial documents in which the people who murdered their local churchmen were interviewed. They essentially say they did it so there would be no more priests. They genuinely thought if they killed this guy, they'd be free of priests, as if the Church wouldn't just replace their priest immediately. Because the institutional Church beyond their village isn't something they can really envision.

[vintagetvstars]

Terry Jones Vs. Alan Alda

Propaganda

Terry Jones - (Monty Python's Flying Circus, Do Not Adjust Your Set) - I wish I could tell you all in a few sentences just how handsome, funny, intelligent, kind and soft-spoken Terry Jones was. How passionate he was about the things he loved, lacing his interests (like e.g. history) throughout all the projects he was working on. How he was supposedly always laughing and giggling when writing and reading out sketches. How he admired the art of silent movies/Buster Keaton and was obsessed with writing poems as a child. How he was described as a wonderful friend and a little as if he carried his own world around with him. But there is simply too much to tell and I adore him too much to pick the best facts, so this will have to do

Alan Alda - (M*A*S*H) - He is both the saddest wettest little meow meow and your kindly grandfather and your favourite eccentric uncle (mom's side). Somehow it works. Passionate Democrat, feminist, great writer, he and his books are hilarious. Did a cartwheel when he won an Emmy! How he met his wife is the best meet cute of the last two centuries, and they've now been married over 60 years!!!

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Additional propaganda below the cut

Alan Alda:

he’s just so good in MASH

he put so much bisexuality into hawkeye i think it fundamentally changed me when i was little and watching mash for the first time. anyway do we all know the story about how he met his wife when they were at a party together and they were the only two people eating the cake that fell on the floor and he fell in love with her over her laugh. i just think hes neat :) i love when theres a strange looking man. also feel it necessary to say that the guy that wrote the book mash was based on wrote himself as hawkeye and HATED alda's hawkeye bc he displayed his morals too much (alda had it in his contract for the show that every episode had to have an operating room scene bc otherwise you arent backdropping the fact that war is Not fun. actually. he almost didnt take the role bc he thought a war comedy would make too much light of the horrors)

please please please use this picture of him, he's so hot in it

His comedic delivery in MASH...

The story of how he met his wife is charming and sweet, and they've now been married 65 years

Just look at him. He's the most beautiful man I've ever seen but also he's completely average. He's got a weak jawlines and a round face and these big soft eyes and he's just so beautiful. He's capable of playing a silly charismatic sitcom protagonist in one scene, and a jaded army surgeon haunted by the deaths he's witnessed in the next. He's so hot that my dad once told me he decided to apply to medical school because of how much he was attracted to Hawkeye Pierce. That's literally how I learned that my father was bisexual.

He's also just a really great dude? He's been outspoken about his political beliefs for a long time, and has always been strongly and vocally anti-war, pro-feminist, and pro lgbt. He served a tour in the Korean war, and his experiences there informed his performance in the show. He (and honestly the entire cast, but especially him) really just soared above and beyond the standard for comedies of the day.

He's so funny and his eyes are pretty

He loves and is a champion of science (Source).

[the-moon-files]

Linked Universe Incorrect Quotes (ft. Masc!You)

Your many, many nicknames: Guide, Hero's Guide, Lead, Star (Guiding Star), Princey, Prince

Reader: (he/him)

(This gif got chosen bc i fully believe they could get goofy enough to act like the monty python campaign sometimes)

Wars, wistfully: I love hearing my Guide shouting at someone else. It makes such a nice change.

♡

You: Listen, listen, the ‘how the fucks’ and 'why are you so dumbs’ don’t matter. All that matters is that I have a magic gun.

♡

Hyrule, looking at your unconscious body: I need a moment alone to heal him.

The Rest of the Chain: Of course, take care of him please.

(leaves)

Hyrule, leaning over you: Okay, listen here you little shit. I know you’re not asleep.

You, sitting up: Yeah, no shit.

♡

Sky: Ha! Don't you know the trappers trap can trap the trapper??

Sky: ...I must be losing it, I'm quoting Star.

♡

(dead quiet in camp, everyone knowing the look on your face when you get annoyed at their reckless/self-sacrificing actions)

You: When I die, I want every Link here to lower me into my grave so they can let me down one last time.

(explosion of arguing and several "Hey wait a minute-!"s)

♡

Time, accidentally forgetting never to ask his Guide for advice: If this plan goes down the drain, where should we regroup?

You: The afterlife, I guess.

♡

You: Why is it that I always lose things as soon as I need them?!

Four: Actually, it's not that you lose things when you need them. You lose them a while before. It's just that you LOOK for things when you need them.

You: Okay yeah thanks so much Link, that's great to hear, now, WHERE'S THE FUCKING FIRST AID KIT??

♡

Legend: But what do I get out of it Princey?

You: A night of fashion, mischief, mayhem, and possible death.

Legend: Ooh, check, check, and check; not sure about that last one tho.

You: It won't be you.

Legend: I'll get my rings.

♡

You: Why are you guys acting like this??

Twilight: Oh, we're not acting. We really are like this.

♡

Link: Cause your pretty and your smart, and your ignoring me so your obviously my type.

You, who was distracted: I'm sorry- what were you saying?

Link: Perfect.

♡

Thanks for reading this shitpost lmao

I just needed smth more my flavor of reader, and reader/Chain so I made this snack to satisfy me for now

Ill probably be making a fic in the future but for now bs like this will have to do

(Might use some of these quotes in it acc lol)

Peace out,

🌙

[cosmic-navel-gazin]

Finished Felvidek and had a grand time!

Thought I'd do a lil list of things/moments/details I loved off the top of my head:

gave cursed coffee bean to a chicken and it mutated. Did it for science

game's got some twin peaks vibes, some monty python, a tad of hylics, along it a bunch of other ingredients, but it feels very much its own thing with its own identity

pear man and his daughters deserve the world, wish we hung out more

there's a fight with an invisible enemy, all your attacks miss because your guys can't see shit and I was laughing just imagining Pavol and Matej swinging their swords at nothing hoping to slay the forest fiend. Very Don Quixote, I love it.

the PS1 style cutscenes are sooooo beautiful I love them to pieces, they drip with style and charm. I knew I needed to give this game a go the moment I watched the trailer and was greeted by the cinematics. God I love them so much. And not just the syle but the directing itself, the way shots are framed, god...

I love the character portraits for everyone. There's so much detail and everyone feels unique/like an actual person with distinct features. From the Priest's very punchable face, to Pavol's grin to Josef's sexy ass... From main characters to NPCs to enemy sprites, I love everyone's design and colour coding (don't know if it was intentional but the purple for the cultists was neat, seemed to subtly imply early on that they were being funded by rich folk, since pruple is associated with nobility, power and wealth)

speaking of character design, shout-out to this lil guy, look at him please

Numnut the drunkard my beloved, I recruited him and less than a minute later he fell on flat ground into a nearby river (and drowns???). I reloaded a previous save to see if I could have him in my party a lil longer. I took a different path, got into a fight. "yay I get to see him in action!"- I thought. I used his one special move, called: 'good idea', and Numnut proceeds to punch his own face, dealing 90 damage (not even in the endgame did I deal such high numbers!). THE Character of all time, he drowned again after that and I'll never forget him.

BALLOON IN THE MIDDLE AGES! (possible Andrei Rublev reference? I can dream...)

just, the way things are worded:

cutting people's ears after killing them as spoils (and giving the ears to a maiden, as you do)

there's a quest where you have to cut a man's tattooed buttock to give to another guy, and it's all for nothing, you ruined a man's ass for nothing. I love it. The dialogue during this whole section had me dying.

I love that there's just this guy who lives in the castle's well. And our boy Pavol thinks it's a great idea to throw a bomb in there to make him come out.

this:

there's these lil inisghtful and mournfoul comments on the dead bodies you leave behind. Like, expressing regret at all the senseless violence and death or how cheap life is here. And I'm not sure if it's Pavol or Matej making them. It makes more sense for it to be Matej but I kinda like the idea of it being Pavol's comments, these small moments of introspection and realization in the midst of a drunken adventure. You've been engaging in all the violence while pissed drunk but then after you kill your opponents and look at their corpses... and it's like this sobering moment, before you're back at it with all the merry-making (I also like that a lot of these bodies don't disappear and just remain on screen, and you can see the carnage your guys leave behind in their quest)

the whole adventure felt to me like, this series of odd little events in a knight's life before it's passed down, told by and retold by different people, and after many generations it's been touched up and made more coherent and noble than the clusterfuck it actually was. Before it became a narrative I guess is what I mean

it can get a bit wordy and hard to follow but I really like the old timey way the dialogue is written and its dry sense of humour

there's these little subversions of gaming tropes that I found really fun too! Like as soon as Pavol's wife and your falling out with her is introduced you may expect a reconciliation between the two, or a moment where you have to save her and prove your worth and love to her to win her heart. As you would expect from a story with a knight and a damsel. But no she hates his guts lmao tries to murder him too! (tho I do think Pavol took her in that balloon ride at the end). There's also the fact that I am not allowed to play minigames! Josef wants to play tabletop games but your character always replies no. No minigames for you son! And like, this feels especially catered to me as someone who, more often than not, will dread whenever a game will introduce some sort of card game or the like. I was so happy that wasn't forced on me for once! Couldn't believe it. Kinda felt bad for Josef tho, I'm sorry Pavol doesn't wanna play Pexeso wth you.

the battle animations! I'm particularly fond of the eating porridge one, or the chugging down a bucket of sour cream, and the petard

the little *slaps face* animation

Pavol and Matej as a duo and the whole tavern scene with the two exchanging clothes

the lil moments of humanity where Pavol talks about his broken life and sense of self

the rare moments when Pavol stops grinning

it goes without saying but the art is absolutely gorgeous. Its nostalgic monochrome melancholy speaks to me on a deep spiritual level. Inject it directly into my bone marrow please. Shout-out also to the ost, it fucks and has tons of bangers. The Hrad track, the one that plays on Josef's castle... god... love at first listen, and have been listening nonstop for the last few days now while going on walks.

[drewthelocalnerd]

Monty Python got it right, wizards need shorter names. Wilfred the Great Calamity is cool and all but you piss off a guy just named Harold you don’t have a clue what’s coming for you.

God himself could be afraid of Harold.

How would you know if he wasn’t?

[yonderghostshistories]

I have been thinking about this for a while, as not only am I a fan of Tom Fisher (as well as having a crush on him teehee 🤭), but I’ve also seen Tom Fisher in other films aside from “Holy Flying Circus” (2011) and from what I’ve seen so far he’s absolutely great fr, especially as the Leading Man!! Plus I personally think he’s definitely an underrated actor and deffo think he should be in more things frfr!!

However, since I have ADHD and also never managed a second account before, I don’t know how I’ll handle that kinda thing. HOWEVER however, I am willing to at least try to do a second account, cuz it’s better to at least attempt to do smth rather than not do smth or whatever, ya’know?

Anyway hope you enjoyed reading this lil ramble of mine, and again do let me know your thoughts on this as I really wanna know! Also cuz I’m kinda excited by the prospect of starting a second blog!!

[darlingzelda]

What TV shows/Movies/Books the Court of Darkness Characters would like

Guy: The Prince (Machiavelli)

this needs very little explanation

It’s a book about how aristocrats or political figures can gain power and maintain status. Also known for justifying the means to the ends. (which Guy has definitely been known to do.)

Toa: The Lord of the Rings (Tolkien)

We know Toa really likes to read stories and romance novels

LOTR is perfect because it’s deep, creative, compelling, and has hints of romance here and there while still having the overarching theme of resilience in hardships.

Fenn: Twilight (Meyer)

you’re telling me Fenn wouldn’t absolutely be a Twihard??

You can’t keep him away from cheesy supernatural romances that may or may not be toxic in every aspect.

He would eat that right up

Definitely comes up behind every single person in the academy and dramatically says “This is the skin of a killer” and then laughs maniacally

Violet has had enough

Roy: Pride and Prejudice (Austen)

Roy is definitely the type to swoon over dramatic romance novels

He’d sit there in his little garden with a cup of tea and just… read

He just gives the aura of someone who would love Jane Austen stuff

Lynt: Harry Potter (Rowling)

Lynt is just full of childlike wonder so it makes sense he’d like a classic series that we all grew up reading

Would 100% lay on a pillow and have Tino read it to him like a bedtime story

Lance: A Series of Unfortunate Events (Snicket)

He just seems the type to go nuts for melancholy

They’re very good books, but since he’s kind of hardcore he just reads them for leisure

Can definitely see him skipping class and lounging up in a tree to read

Knight: The Cat Returns (Miyazaki)

Do I even need to explain.

I feel like he would love Ghibli movies, but especially this one because literally almost all the characters are cats

Also appreciates the unique art style

Jasper: Sherlock Holmes (Doyle)

something about him just exudes an air of ‘mystery novel lover’.

It’s both classy and intriguing, which is the perfect mix for him

Kind of like a parallel to his Sirius alter ego where he goes out on secret missions for Guy

Always manages to solve the mystery before they even get to it

Violet: Real Housewives shows

She would absolutely eat that drama right up

Strikes me as a feral reality TV lover

She would get INTO it. Everyone passing by her room can hear either cackling or very loud swearing when she’s at it

Would sit there with a glass of wine and watch to ‘unwind'

Grayson: The Phantom of the Opera (Leroux)

Like Roy, he’s definitely a classics lover

Perfect balance of music, drama, and enjoyable mystery

Definitely likes both the book and the movie and would very much go see the musical every time it was showing

Makes him feel things??

Tino: Avatar: The Last Airbender

He just loves classic childhood shows like Lynt

Absolutely identifies with Aang and Katara

Probably hides his face with a blanket whenever Azula is on screen

Just really likes wholesome content

Excitedly explains the plot of every episode and backstory to Lynt (who’s half listening or falling asleep)

Rio: Monty Python and the Holy Grail

This man would go feral for comedy

Perfect mix of knights and comedic value

Roars with laughter anytime a joke lands

Definitely can be seen banging items together and pretending to ride a horse like they do in the movie

Laughs at the jokes every time no matter how many times he’s seen it

Aquia: Sleeping Beauty

No surprise that he’s a sucker for romance

Definitely loves every single classic Disney movie and even cries when he’s watching

He loves the part where the Prince rescues Aurora because he’s secretly wishing that he could be a prince like that someday

It’s his comfort movie

Lou: The Office US

Every. Single. Thing. makes him laugh

So deeply absorbed in every single side plot

Sitting there on the edge of his seat with wide eyes watching it all go down

It kind of reminds him of the situations he finds himself in every day

Has definitely tried to say “That’s what she said” without understanding what it means, and everyone else is just staring at him with horrified expressions

Finds Michael Scott so funny

So invested in the Jim/Pam plotline that he actually cries when they get together

Such a fangirl that he hosts a version of the Dundies for the princes/ valets

It does not go well