theredhood1e

[theredhood1e]

actually can we have Tim not being adopted into the batfamily and instead after his parents go broke and then die leaving him with nothing he just decides ‘well i know where the batcave is’ and starts living in the tunnels underneath Wayne manor because of the logic that he can’t get kicked out bcs 1. squatters rights and 2. whats Bruce gonna do? call the police and say ‘this guy won’t leave my secret lair. no im not Batman wdym’? and he manages to go unnoticed for like. a good fucking while. not even Alfred realises bcs wtf would he be snooping around down there for?

even better is this happens after Jason dies so Tim still becomes Robin and Bruce is so overwhelmed with grief that he literally never realises that Tim has never once used the front door to come over. he just kinda sneaks up from somewhere in the cave. he assumes that Alfred’s letting the kid in without telling him. Alfred assumes Bruce is doing the same.

Damian finds out first because that’s so much funnier. he gets to Gotham to 1. gain his birthright and meet his father and 2. do some reconnaissance/avenging of this replacement Robin that’s been the centre of Jason’s angry rants at the league for the past 6 months. he follows Tim ‘home’ and finds him fucking. golluming it up a 15 minute hike through the cave system and he’s like. wait what.

Damian, reporting back to Jason: Drake is a mole.

Jason, vindicated: like he’s working for the enemy?!

Damian, standing in front of an indignant Tim in the middle of his ‘camp’, phone pressed to his ear: no like he lives in a fucking tunnel.

Jason:

Tim, mumbling: slightly harsh,

Damian, angling his face away from the phone momentarily: i watched you dig a hole to unearth the protein bars you’d buried there.

Tim:

Jason, rapidly changing his opinion on this kid: ok actually lets not kill him because thats fucking hysterical and i want to know more-

Tim really likes living alone in the tunnels because he’s a weird little guy and he’s gotten used to the independence and lack of sun, and Damian grew up in the league where ‘wilderness training’ was monthly, mandatory, and from the age of three. so he really doesn’t see the issue in it. he just kinda shrugs and accepts his brother lives in the cave system. Jason is so delighted and amused by the vibes these two kids have going on over in Gotham (he gets video calls from Damian just. in Tim’s camp while they hang out together sometimes. Damian brings him water bottles and various sustenance offerings like he’s appealing so some ancient deity living under their house. Jason thinks it’s incredible) that he decides fuck the league, he needs to see this in person. killing the Joker is a side quest he did on the way; he really only came to see what his idiot little brothers had going on under Bruce, Dick and Alfreds nose. he visits Tim’s little cave home while waiting for his new Crime Alley apartment to be ready.

eventually Bruce and Dick are working on a case and they’re following a lead to do with a criminal escaping via cave systems that they theorise may connect to the batcave, so after Damian’s gone to bed they suit up and start searching around. they come across Damian, Tim, and the fucking Red Hood chilling around a small fire just casually eating leftovers Damian snuck down from the kitchen, just quietly enjoying each others presence in this clearly years old campsite, quietly discussing whether or not the weather will be clear enough next week to go to the new art museum together. Dick shines a flashlight at them and they all snap to attention like that scene in ratatouille where the human comes in the kitchen and the rats all freeze and look up. nobody says anything for a solid three minutes.

eventually Tim is just like “I have squatters rights. you can’t evict me.” and Red Hood nods and points at him.

Bruce, desperate to gain some kind of thread of understanding here: “Damian, you’re supposed to be in bed. …Tim, I’m actually not sure where you’re supposed to be, come to think of it, but I don’t think it’s here.”

“He just said he has squatters rights, father.” Damian responds instantly. “Keep up.”

Dick: “And does the Red Hood have squatters rights?”

“I have a gun,” Jason points out cheerfully. “Same thing, ain’t it?”

Dick and Bruce are so confused they become convinced that they’ve been dosed with something and only figure out whats going on after putting on gas masks and testing everybody’s blood.

[theredhood1e]

spiders have got to figure out contracting I need to be able to call my local spiders union and be like "hey can you send a guy out for a few days the fruit flies are back" and then pay it in spider currency. I'll learn the conversion rates. I'll be generous with my rounding. please.

[theredhood1e]

is it me or is the screen of hannibal s3 even darker than the other seasons?

like.. the other seasons I could sometimes not see very well, yes but s3... it's a whole other beast.

and there's even less dialogue, so sometimes i don't really look at the screen (it's a re-watch, im studying at the same time) and I miss like 13 plot points and 80% of the nuances of the scene

[theredhood1e]

whoever the sick fuck who decided that abigail should appear to be alive in the beginning of s3 just to mysteriously dissappear, slowly taking my hope and dreams with it and leaving me ??

like wdym the priest looks at abigail, but nobody really acknowledges her? "he took you from me again". nobody looks at will weirdly for talking to thin air. the cut opening again? his did as well. that man is tripping balls, what am i supposed to think?

anyways, i just wanna talk (theres no dennys' parking lot in my country but i'll make do)

[theredhood1e]

hannibal fanfiction casually ripping my heart out... what do you mean thats the ending?? should I just go on like that?

i feel like I just ate the most scrumptious, tastiest, mouth-watering meal, and the most beautifully appetizing desert was placed in front of me but oh no! can't eat that just yet. gotta work that appetite.

[theredhood1e]

I want a season 1 yj fic where no one on the team knows who Batman and Robin are behind the masks. Wally is friends with Robin, but he only knows him as Robin, and he’s never seen him without the mask or without his sunglasses.

And Dick thinks they’re all friends. Sure, they don’t know his name or half of his life, but they know him. He thinks of them as some of his best friends. He doesn’t actually have a whole lot of friends. He has Barbara, but she doesn’t know about Robin. And he has Bette, but she’s his cousin, so she doesn’t really count.

So when he walks into the lounge area in Mount Justice one day and hears most of the team talking shit about Dick Grayson, who was just shown on TV with Bruce Wayne because there was a big charity gala last night, he’s trying so hard not to get upset. Because they’re making fun of him. They’re talking shit about him. They don’t even know Dick Grayson, but they’re saying such mean things about him.

“I’ve seen him around school, he’s such a snob,” Artemis complains. “His hair is always gelled so obnoxiously and his uniform is always perfect, and,” she snorts, “he’s captain of the mathletes. What a dork.”

Alfred insists on his uniform always being perfectly ironed and his shirt being tucked in. He gets the longest lectures whenever he gets a detention or a pink slip for his uniform being out of line.

And Bruce has been doing Dick’s hair before school since Dick started going to school. He’d been so nervous the first time, because he was eight and he’d been homeschooled in the circus and he’d never been to a real school before, so Bruce did Dick’s hair just like his, and it made him feel so much better. Dick does his own hair mostly now that he’s older, but he mostly sticks with how Bruce first showed him. It’s easy. It’s a classic style. It makes him feel a little less nervous.

And who cares if he’s captain of the mathletes? Bruce insists it will look good on college applications. You can never start preparing too early. Plus, Gotham Academy is full of nerds, it’s far from the dorkiest club on campus. He’s mostly only on the team because his math teacher insisted.

He’s lingering in the hallway, just before the doorway to the lounge, leaning against the wall as he listens in on their conversation.

“He’s obviously a publicity stunt,” Wally snorts, and Dick can hear him stuffing chips in his mouth. “Was Bruce Wayne getting bad press when he first adopted him or something? I always thought it was weird he just plucked a kid from out of nowhere.”

“I thought he was from the circus?” Conner asks, but he actually sounds confused, curious.

The question only makes Wally and Artemis laugh louder, and even M’gann is giggling now. Dick feels like his heart just dropped into his stomach.

“The whole thing is so weird,” Artemis laughs. “Bruce Wayne takes him out like he’s some sort of little accessory, it’s so weird.”

“They are a pretty weird pair, aren’t they?” Wally laughs.

“I mean, the kid seems like a pain in the ass,” Artemis says, and Dick can just tell from the way she says it that she’s smirking. “I don’t know if I’d feel that bad if their whole father-son schtick was all for the camera. Brucie probably treats him like a toy he can just put back on the shelf when he’s done playing with him. He’s probably nothing but a charity case.”

Dick can hear someone pushing Artemis into the side of the couch, but he can tell they’re still all laughing and joking around. Dick feels like his breath is caught in his throat.

“That’s a horrible thing to say,” Conner says.

“Oh, come on, Conner,” Artemis huffs. “I’m only kidding.”

“It’s not something to kid about,” Conner says. “He’s a real person. They’re both real people. You know nothing about them.”

“I know that he struts around school like he owns the place!”

“Does he really?” M’gann gasps.

He can hear Artemis, Wally, and M’gann all continuing to gossip together, to laugh about his photos that Artemis is pulling up on her phone. He can hear Conner mutter something about them being childish, and then get up towards the kitchen area.

The hand on his shoulder startles him, and he’s so mad at himself for not hearing Kaldur walking up behind him.

“Robin, is everything alright?” Kaldur asks, and his voice is so gentle, so concerned.

“M’fine,” Dick chokes out. “M’just, I - I’m gonna go, actually. Can’t stay for training today.”

“Are you not feeling well?”

“Just…feeling a little sick. I’ll be fine.”

Conner has since walked into the hallway too, and he’s looking at Dick all concerned now too. But Dick feels like everything is too hot and he can’t breathe right and he’s suddenly so upset, and he can’t stay here anymore knowing that half of his friends are sitting just a few feet away, making fun of him.

Dick rushes back home, and he finds Bruce sitting in his office going over some WE paperwork. Bruce is surprised he’s home so soon, but holds onto Dick tightly when he falls into his lap.

“What’s wrong?” Bruce asks, squeezing Dick tight. “Did something happen at training? Are you hurt?”

“People are mean,” Dick mumbles into Bruce’s shoulder. “They were watching something about the gala from last night. Didn’t wanna stick around.”

“Oh, Dickie,” Bruce sighs, because this isn’t exactly the first time Dick has heard people he thinks are his friends talking about him behind his back, even if this is the first time it’s people who don’t realize they know him talking about him.

“They called me a publicity stunt,” Dick says, pressing himself closer to Bruce. “And a charity case.”

“You aren’t either of those things,” Bruce says, his voice firm, leaving no room for argument. “You’re my son, no matter what anyone else says.”

“I know.”

Bruce sighs again, resting his cheek on top of Dick’s head. They’re both quiet for a moment, Bruce swiveling side to side in the chair a bit.

“I know it’s difficult,” Bruce tells him. “But how about I put these papers away, and we go watch a movie before Alfred has dinner ready?”

“Yeah, okay.”

“Or we can go down to the cave and we can train a bit, if you’d rather do that?”

“I kinda wanna hit something,” Dick mumbles. “But can we watch a movie after dinner?”

“We’ll do whatever you want, chum.”

Dick continues to cling to Bruce while he straightens up his desk, but he hops up and rushes over to the clock to go down to the cave. Black Canary eventually calls the cave to ask Batman if Robin is alright, because she missed him at training and no one could tell her why he left, but he just tells her that Robin wanted to train with him today.

Later that night after dinner, Dick is cuddled up next to Bruce in his favorite family room, a movie playing in the background, and Dick falls asleep like that. Bruce doesn’t disturb him. They both end up falling asleep on the couch, and Bruce decides to take the next day off and to keep Dick home from school so they can spend the day together.

[theredhood1e]

Happy pride month to these sweethearts who deserved better. So here they are in an impossible afternoon light.

[theredhood1e]

I think as a culture we have all forgotten that fandom is supposed to be fun.

It’s not that serious.

It was never supposed to be that serious.

Especially since most of the drama and hurt revolves around shipping.

All of the ships are fictional. Being canon doesn’t actually negate the fact that the ship isn’t real. 

No ship, or any aspect of a fictional universe, is important enough to treat another real life human being badly. 

It’s not that serious.

[theredhood1e]

me: hey, i want a new Jason comic, would be good if—

DC: AN ANNOUNCEMENT, A NEW JASON COMIC IS INDEED COMING. IT WILL HAVE HELENA BERTINELLI AS HIS MAIN LOVE INTEREST, AND THEY WILL BE RESOLVING A COP KILLER CASE (of all things)

me, with my eye twitching: —as i was saying, would be good IF IT WAS WRITTEN IN CHARACTER AND WASN'T COMPLETE BULLSHIT.

[theredhood1e]

i tried

[theredhood1e]

stephcass prompt for dcforgaza<3

[theredhood1e]

Your honor, I see no lies here.

[theredhood1e]

BatFamily + Supergirl <3

Bruce:

Batman The Brave and the Bold #147

Kate:

Batwoman/Supergirl: World's Finest Giant

Babs:

Supergirl #0 (2005)

Batgirl Annual #1 (2016)

Supergirl #11 (2016)

World's Finest #169

?, ?, ?, ?

Dick:

Batman Chronicles #20

Batman/Superman: World's Finest #2

Justice League of America #60 (2006)

Justice League of America #49

Evil!Cassandra:

Supergirl #14

Jason:

Supergirl #35

Stephanie:

World's Finest #4 (2009)

Batgirl #14 (2009)

Batgirl #14 (2009)

Tim:

Superman/Batman #62

Superman/Batman #62

Superman/Batman #62

Damian:

Superman/Batman #77

Superman/Batman #77

[theredhood1e]

AU where instead of throwing him off a cliff or whatever after shoving him in a Lazarus Pit, Talia takes Jason and hides him as a regular ass guard. No one is gonna connect the scrawny braindead kid with this intimidating fridge of a person, and Ra’s doesn’t tolerate people looking him directly in the eye anyway, so it’s not like he’ll notice the specific shade of green his eyes are. And it WORKS. Literally no one questions where this guy came from, because Talia gaslights them like “you don’t remember??? smh” and they’re like shit, I guess he’s been here the whole time and I’m just an idiot (he has, but he was basically an experiment during that time)

Anyway, they only get caught because Jason is stationed next to Ra’s in the throne room (he and Talia made a bet about how long it’ll take to get found out, since at least a year has passed like this and they’re starting to wonder about the man’s situational awareness), and someone like Ghostmaker comes in and Ra’s is all “how long has it been since you and Bruce trained here? Twenty years?” And Jason, because it’s Bruce, mutters “twenty slutty, slutty years,” under his breath because he literally cannot help himself. He then realizes he fucked up, as Ra’s and Khoa are just fucking staring at him, and he said that in English, and his New Jersey accent is really obvious.

Dealer’s choice for what happens next, but in my mind this is definitely a “Jason and Damian were brothers in the League” type of deal. Damian shows up in Gotham and tells Bruce he thought he’d be taller bc he’s used to being around Jason, and then when he first sees Brucie he makes some comment like “ahki did call him a slut that one time,” and everyone loses their minds because what do you MEAN your brother, and why was someone in the League slut-shaming Batman???

He refuses to elaborate on either point, other than saying that Ghostmaker was there and it’s the only time he’s seen him laugh.

[theredhood1e]

4 lives destroyed because a man couldn't accept that his pet project's opinion diverged from his

(salty about mizumono dont mind me)

[theredhood1e]

armand + text posts [pt. 4]

[theredhood1e]

oh that's the-

the "is your social worker in that horse" episode? yep, exactly.

me after looking at margot's eyes: well- you know what, it's not that bad- honestly-