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ajy006 · 4 months ago

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Monsters :Mikey Sano x Reader x Izana Kurokawa

Chapter 4: The Calm

[series summary]: your grievous sin was Emma standing up for you to her brothers. and now you’re going to pay the heavy price for destroying their perfect family dynamic.

[chapter summary]: Everything comes crashing down right before your very eyes when something horrible from your past resurfaces

[cw]: DARK CONTENT, NSFW, angst PTSD, bullying, victim blaming, attempted rape mention(s), implied sexual intercourse (character x character), choking, mommy issues, implied masturbation (m.), public sex, violence, misogyny, betrayal, parental abuse amd neglect, religious trauma, implied past homophobia, dark impulse Mikey, homelessness

[r-18+] not suitable for 17 and under

[wc]: 12.2k

[A/N]: There is a new taglist linked here, so please reapply or if you haven't applied before, it is there. I accidentally ruined my old one.

[masterlist] [chapter 3] [chapter 5] [taglist] [a03 + bonus side story] [wattpad]

NO ONE ever tells you about the guilt of keeping secrets from your one and only true friend.

It eats you alive daily, soaking into your very core as you look at Emma from the corner of your eyes, jotting down anything the lecturer says eagerly. Her blond hair is in a neat ponytail, exposing the beautiful slope of her neck from behind you, her back curved from leaning down to take notes.

How do you tell your friend that her brother had attempted to force himself on you?

‘I should have never let things get this far with Mikey.’ you lament internally. ‘Why didn’t I just reject the offer in the first place? The worst that could have happened was Emma being mad at me. Then that night would never have happened. What am I supposed to do? What if she finds out from someone else?’

Even if you tell her anything, she might never believe you; women are never believed for these kinds of things, if life taught you anything, but they sure were blamed all the time. And if she does, who knows what Manjiro Sano would do to you as revenge.

It’s not like you have anyone else to turn to, your parents consider you dead to them and everyone in this school hates you for existing.

For the first time in your life, you don’t know a way out of this situation.

“... and that is the end of today’s lesson. You can all leave now.”

You’re snapped out of your self-inflicted guilt trip at the sound of professor Hanabi concluding his lesson. Panic overtook you as you looked down into your notes only to see that it was half written when you were paying attention from the beginning to mid-way in the lesson, and the rest of your paper was empty.

Just your luck.

“You spaced out, again? Are you still thinking about your parents?”

Your hand flies to slam your book shut at the sound of Emma’s voice from beside you, Hinata following not too behind, embarrassed at the two of them seeing your half-baked notes. She only chuckled in response at your hasty action, shaking her head in disapproval before putting her hand on your shoulder. “There’s no need to do that, come on. I’ll lend you my note after class.”

You slid your hands over your face at being caught red-handed; As usual, Emma is being so kind to you even as you continue to lie and keep secrets from her. She’s tried everything to get you to open up as to why you keep spacing out, but you deflect and change the subject.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” you sighed out, deflating visibly with your hands still covering your face. “Some days are good, and some days are just…”

Another comforting hand rests on your shoulder, this time belonging to Hina. “You’ve got to stop getting all up in your head, (Name).” Her voice is gentle, trying to ease you off whatever tension looming over your head. “Come on, let’s get you boba in the school’s cafeteria.”

You nodded weakly and packed your books into your worn out school bag, before hurriedly following them behind along with the last of your classmates.

The walk to the cafeteria is a short distance, as your departmental building was very close to it and soon, the three of you had gotten your boba drinks, now in search of a place to sit. “Senju and Yuzuha are around here,” Emma said, scanning around to try and find them in a throng of people. A lump in your throat forms on hearing Yuzuha’s name; you haven’t spoken to her in a long time, since that incident. You wonder if she still hates you for what your family did to her.

“Oh there they are.”

The pink haired girl, Senju, eagerly waved at you three from her table, with Yuzuha glued to her phone, not looking up from it and Emma waved back, before grabbing your arm and gently pulling you with her towards the table, Hinata following not too far behind.

Senju Akashi was the president of the sorority group Brahman and also, Emma’s childhood friend. From Emma’s point of view, Senju was closer to Mikey than her, always opting to play with the boys, Keisuke and Sanzu, rather than her. The pinkette never left the tomboyish phase in her teenage years and hasn’t left it since then, only now she’s more willing to let Emma fix acrylic nails for her and she puts on makeup, probably to cement her status.

Yuzuha was someone you knew as a child. She was just a few years older than you in school, not to mention very popular with the student body as she was a mixture of beauty, brains and brawn and the only person that used to care about you.

Until your family ruined it all.

As you sat down on the chair, facing Yuzuha and Senju, with Emma and Hinata by your side, you realized how small and insignificant you were compared to them. Emma was the wealthy IT girl and her brothers practically have a tight leash on the school, Hinata ran the school’s newspaper and was on the dean's list regularly, Senju was the leader of the most popular sorority and Yuzuha was the financial advisor and also always on the dean's list, as well as the leader of the university’s cheer team.

And you? The only notable thing about you was Izana and Mikey’s obsession with ruining your life.

Feeling even worse, you shrank in your seat, swirling your straw as they have a full on conversation about another upcoming party, their chatter excitedly echoing through the table. You try to tune them out, occasionally looking at Emma as she talks animatedly about whatever the topic was.

Your heart twinged with jealousy at how her eyes lit up as she spoke, breaking into fits of giggles every now and then. When was the last time you made her laugh? Or happy? All you do these days is mope and get her worried-

“Were you invited, (name)?”

'Huh?'

You’re roused out of your thoughts by Senju’s cheery tone, all eyes on you now. Suddenly conscious at your slouched sitting position, you quickly sit up, the question tumbling out of your mouth before you could stop yourself.

“Um, invited to what?”

The entire table raised a quizzical brow at your question and you felt stupid for even asking in the first place instead of just pretending to know what they were talking about. Emma shoots you an annoyed ‘seriously?’ look, in lieu of your absent mindedness and you bit the inner parts of your cheek, looking at your lap.

You have a feeling Emma is getting exhausted of playing babysitter. You can’t blame her.

Deciding to take pity on you, Senju reiterated what she was talking about, leaning closer to you as she whispered. “Tenjiku’s Bacchanalia. It’s where all the popular kids, the crémé la crémé, come to party every year to network. It’s really exclusive and the four of us went last time.” she giggled, as if it was an inside joke you were supposed to be in on. “Izana usually handles the invitations personally, so you had to have been invited, right?”

The question itself was like a slap to your face and an ego boost to your insecurities. If you didn’t feel embarrassed and out of place before, you sure did now.

An important party where the rich kids hang out and the person who hosts it hates your guts.

“I wasn’t…invited. I didn’t even know about it”

Your reply makes Senju’s face crumple slightly, her green eyes darting from you to Emma, who also looked uncomfortable. “Oh” she uttered.

Just as Emma opened her mouth to speak, her phone started buzzing, interrupting her. She picked up the device and cursed underneath her breath as soon as she saw who was on the line, hurriedly standing up. “I’ve got to take this, I’ll be right back.” She mumbled, reaching for your hand squeezing it. Your gaze lingered on her as she walked away, before looking back at the group again.

You catch a glimpse of Yuzuha’s eyes sharpening before looking back at your boba the moment Emma was out of range, causing a chill to run down your spine, as if the atmosphere just shifted.

‘It’s probably all in my head.’

The table is silent, briefly and you’re almost relieved that nobody's prying further information from you until Senju switches her attention to you, her eyes twinkling with mischief as she prods you further.

“So you really weren’t invited? For real?” She hummed, her perfectly glossed lips shimmering underneath the fluorescent light above her, pink lashes fluttering. You shook your head in response, afraid you would stutter at how pretty she was. She placed a hand on her chin curiously as she added. “I thought since you were Em’s friend, you would be invited.”

“Well, I wasn’t…”

“The Bacchanalia is only for people who have something important to offer, either in talents like Mitsuya with his designs, Tetta with his businesses or Hajime with his connections. (Name) is a talentless pleb with nothing to offer.”

You nearly had a whiplash with how fast you turned your head to look at Yuzuha who didn’t look bothered at your reaction to her statement. You swallowed hard.

“Maybe I wasn’t invited because Izana hates me.” You replied in an attempt to stay coolheaded.

Your heart palpitates as Yuzuha shares a knowing look with the rest of the girls for a minute before bursting out in laughter, their yelps echoing throughout the entire canteen for the next three minutes, making you grow hot from embarrassment, as if you had said something stupid.

As the laughter died down, Yuzuha rolled her eyes at you and let out a disgusted scoff as she folded her arms across her chest, peach lip gloss coated lips quirked up into a sinister sneer. “You know what, maybe you are good at something, acting…” Her voice is full of venom, like she has been holding back whatever sentiment she was saying right now for a long time. “ ...like a victim.”

You quickly realized that this was serious and your heart dropped in your stomach.

You felt blood rushing to your head as her words settled in your mind. You could feel all their eyes on you, as if they were gauging your reaction.

You looked at Hinata, hoping to God she would shut it down but instead she only sits back even further, legs crossed over each other. “Don’t look at me (name)” She chimed in. “You know all you ever do is cry and hide behind Emma, making us look bad.”

Your heart sank at the bottom of your chest. Even Hina hates you too.

“I’ve known her for a while so I’m not shocked by her manipulative tendencies” Yuzuha snarked back, leaning in further until she was close enough for only you three to hear. “Ever since Emma became friends with her and brought her into our dynamic, she has been the cause of every fight. I don’t even know why Mikey apologized to you when you were the one who blew things out of proportion first!”

Your mouth grows dry at the comment. They were blaming you for the fight that happened at the night of the party, despite it not being your fault at all.

Yuzuha doesn’t stop there, turning her gaze back to you, the fire burning in her eyes so bright, it hurts. “Maybe Emma has you fooled, putting on rose tinted glasses for you; because you could never do shit for yourself- but none of us…” Yuzuha gestures with her hand at Senju and Hina, to drive her point, “like you.”

You look at the other two girls and nearly reel in shock at how their demeanor shifted from one of worry, to one of nonchalance and placidity. Senju picks at her nails, looking at you with a devious smirk. “What the hell do you expect? You embarrassed the entirety of Toman and Tenjiku when you made Mikey and Izana fight with Emma. Am I meant to be on your side?”

Hinata, picks up her pumpkin spice latte, mumbling at Yuzuha. “You better hurry up Yuzu, Emma’s coming back soon.” before sipping the drink and leaning back on her chair, rolling her eyes at your shocked expression. “I don’t want to deal with her being mad at me for making her precious (name) cry.”

A lump forms in your throat at the two comments made. How bad of a person were you that the nicest girl in the entire school hates you?

“See?” Yuzuha continued, whispering furiously as she inched closer and closer to your face. “We’re all sick of you driving a wedge between Emma and the rest of us. If you had just stayed in your own lane, then we wouldn’t be doing fucking damage control on our interpersonal relationships each week.”

You sit there, speechless as Yuzuha tears into you, blaming you. For things you know, for things you didn’t even know. “I fucking warned Emma that you were nothing but trouble, but she insists on picking strays off the streets.”

Your eyes widened in shock, mouth agape as you stuttered, trying to defend yourself. “I … don’t call me…”

She laughed at your pained expression, her lips curled up into a mocking smile. “Aw, are you going to cry?” Her smile drops as she lowers her voice, just so that only you could hear her next words. “It’s obvious what you’re doing, isn't it? Sinking your dirty little poverty ridden claws into the highest bidder. That’s why you’re around Emma right? To get to Mikey?”

You could feel the entire canteen drilling holes into your head, all eyes fixated on you. You can hear the little murmurs and snickers following it. Your face burns with embarrassment, wishing that the ground would swallow you whole.

Yuzuha leans further, smirking at how your body shook with a mixture of fear and anger until she lowered herself closer to your ear, lips merely brushing the shell. “I’m going to make sure Mikey will never like you. He’ll know what you truly are and then he’ll never ever want you again.”

Your blood turns to ice at her words, heart dropping down to your stomach. ‘That was years ago… she’s going to tell them… everyone will really hate me-’

You try to get up from the chair and hurl your guts out in the bathroom but a manicured hand forces you to stay put, her orange eyes glaring at you. “Don’t even think about it.” Hina hisses lowly. “You want to make us look like were're bullying you? Sit down.”

You don’t say anything, opting to comply instead in order to placate them. What good would storming off do anyways- other than get Emma very angry at them, proving their point?

Instead, you pick up your boba with shaking hands and sip it fast, washing down the bile gathering up in your throat as familiar footsteps approach your table, the switch flipping in the atmosphere, as if nothing had happened in the first place.

The chair scrapes the floor and Emma sits down again, tossing her phone on the table. “Guess who didn’t write a letter informing the school about the annual party this year?” her voice dripping with sarcasm, rubbing her temple with one hand to soothe her headache “And guess who has to do it for him?”

Senju chuckled at her plight, hand resting on her chin playfully, a stark contrast to her mocking stare just a few moments ago. “I told you that he’d forget about it. Izana is too busy fucking my girls to remember that he’s the one hosting the party.”

Emma grimaced at Senju’s comment, before checking the time and sighing. “Might as well write the damn letter after the next lecture. Come on (name), Hina let’s go.” She said, packing her stuff. You follow suit, trying to ignore Yuzuha’s gaze fixated on you as you arrange your bag and get up from the chair, eager to be free from the uncomfortable situation you found yourself in.

“Bye guys. We’ll meet up at the boutique after school? We still need cute bikini sets for the pool at the party.”

You swallow your jealousy as Emma smiles at her back, eyes gleaming with interest. “Of course! At 6pm sharp I’ll be at the Sorority house with Hina.” She waved at them. “Bye!”

You don’t say anything about feeling excluded from the conversation as the three of you walk away. Emma and Hinata’s excited chatter about the Bacchanalia became nothing but background noise to you as you three walked back to class, Yuzuha’s words ringing in your ears with each step you took.

“Hey, (name), are you alright?”

You don’t look at Emma as she questions you, just shrugging your shoulders while you keep walking down the path to class. She walked closer to you, gently putting her arm around your shoulder as she tried to make you feel better. “Hey, don’t be sad. That kind of party isn’t your scene anyways.” She comforted “We do a lot of stuff that you’re not ready for.”

“Mhm”

Your response dampens her mood a bit, but at this point you’re too far in your head to care. It sounds patronizing at this point how she’s talking to you, like a petulant child who doesn’t understand when they are not wanted.

You understand loud and clear. She doesn’t need to pretend or pity you.

“Come on! You know what, how about this? You can come shopping with us -”

“Excuse me.”

You push her arm off you gently and walk faster towards the departmental building, much to her shock. You don’t answer her constantly yelling your name as hot tears streamed down your face, storming into the building with gritted teeth, bile rising up in your throat once again as you rush to the bathroom on the ground floor.

You make it just in time as you hunch over into the toilet.

“WHAT do you even see in her, anyways?”

Mikey doesn’t pay Senju any mind. He usually doesn’t pay her any mind whenever she’s in one of her rather curious moods about his life. He doesn’t pay her any mind because he knows her like the back of his palm; ever since childhood, she’s always followed him, Keisuke or Haruchiyo around like a headless chicken with no direction.

Those were fond times of simpler days; back when he was a kid and all he had to worry about was what game he, Keisuke and Sanzu were going to play. Or fighting with Shinichiro because a pretty girl hugged him and he didn’t want to wash her off by showering. Since childhood, she always had that mischievous hint in her tone, irritating him to no end at how she would always butt into their business whenever the boys were playing.

She inserted herself in their spaces much to Haruchiyo’s dismay until she made it fit into her own expectations. It wasn’t like Mikey couldn’t kick her out, but he knew that probably doing that would cause a bigger rift between Haruchiyo and Takeomi and she would drift into other predatory, male groups that could get her into big trouble.

But right now, he’s not feeling so generous. It’s the third time she’s asked this question and if Mikey didn’t have any control over his dark impulses, he would have crashed the car to shut her up, permanently.

“Who are you talking about?”

“You know, that lapdog that has attached herself to Em like a parasite.”

Senju’s voice is like nails scratching on a board to his ears, as sweet as sugar, yet as salty as the sea. She knows you are a sore topic for him and yet, she chooses to frustrate him.

The car rolls to a halt, stopping beside the library. He’s never seen Senju in the library before, but she whined about having to walk all the way there when she called him and he decided to just help her out. He expects the conversation to be over now as she’s at her destination, for her to get out and complain about how he doesn’t tell her anything.

Instead, she shifts closer to him from across the passenger’s seat to the drivers, her colder body pressed against his warm body, a constant for her. A soft sigh escapes his lips as her hand worms its way to his hair, fingers gently massaging his scalp in a satisfying way. He finds himself visibly relaxing, the tension slowly leaving his body as she rubs circles into his head, her acrylics giving a nice feel to her gentle actions.

Oh. Mikey understands what she wants. She’s jealous of you.

“Come on, Mikey.” her voice is soothing now, no longer having the masculine edge she uses, as if she’s pouting. He likes it. He thinks this is why she’s so successful in her own gang, her ability to switch personas, you can never tell who is the real Senju. “Does she fuck better than me? Is that why you spend more time with her now?”

Mikey scoffs. If only that were true. You wouldn’t even let him touch you if it was the end of the world. He supposes it was partly his fault for being too rough, but was he that repulsive that you would rather die than sleep with him?

At first, he felt guilty for making you cry. It plagued him for nights on end. Then, he got tired of feeling guilty and it was swiftly replaced with annoyance instead. Why do you get to blame him for anything terrible that happened to you, it's not like he forced you to sleep with him? Or sit on his lap to feed him? It’s not like he made you buy those expensive clothes or he threatened you to enter your room.

You were a willing participant to everything that happened between the two of you. You just didn’t want to acknowledge it because it went against your religious ideals. Afterall, you liked him romantically, what girl wouldn’t want her crush to want to sleep with her?

Sometimes he wonders if you truly like him or its his money that makes you tolerate him.

“That’s much better now isn’t it?” She whispered in his ears and he only nodded in response, not wanting to sound like a fool if he opened his mouth to speak. Ever the weakling for being pampered by anyone, he leans into her touch and lets his guard down. “Or you’d prefer her to do this for you?”

He flushes red at her constant teasing, wanting nothing more to bury his head inside sand with how hot he was feeling right now, being caught red handed. “You keep mentioning her, almost as if you want to get on my nerves” He finally gets out after a few minutes of staving off thoughts about you being so touchy with him, voice strangled with need. “What do you want from me?”

She chuckled into his ears again, making his neck hairs stand at attention. “Just curious, a few months ago, you wanted nothing to do with her.” She hummed in his ears. “Now every waking chance, you’re practically thinking about her, to the point you spent so much money on her. Don’t you think it’s strange?”

“I didn’t sleep with her. You know I don’t touch virgins, so what are you getting at?”

Senju paused her movements, putting her chin on his head as if she’s deep in thought. “Well personally…” Senju started in a sing-song voice. “... I think she’s really pretty and that’s obvious, but she’s not that stunning to begin with. You’ve been with much prettier girls and she doesn’t necessarily have the looks to turn heads.”

“Not everyone can be you, Senju.”

“I know I’m the prettiest girl you’ll ever be with, Mikey.” She snickered, completely ignoring Mikey’s sarcastic comment as she continued her analysis. “But, come to think of it, she kinda reminds me of a certain someone.”

Mikey frowned at her words, not liking the inflection of her tone, as if she was about to imply he was doing something wrong. She took his silence as a hint to continue taunting him.

“Soft, caring, gentle, miserable.”

She lowers her lips to the side of his head, lips gently brushing the shell of his ear as she utters one word that tipped him over the edge.

“Maternal.”

The next moment was a blur, Mikey spinning Senju around until she was face up and he was on top of her in the passenger seat, large hands wrapped around her neck tight. His eyes were darkened completely, nothing behind them but pure, unbridled rage, practically pinning her down with all his weight.

His breathing is heavy, hot against her skin as he lowers his head to hers, their foreheads practically touching each other as he pierces through her soul with his hate filled glare. With each moment that passes, the pink haired girl loses air, her circulation slowly cutting off.

A normal person would be rightfully afraid and fight the hell for their lives, biting and scratching him to let go. Senju used to fight him off like that too, when he would lose his temper because she refused to listen to him about fighting with people. It used to be an effective scare tactic to show her just how easily she could be overpowered.

But now, Senju knows him. Knows the darkness that consistently plagues him and drives him to the wall. Mikey is no enigma or mystery to her anymore as he is to his foolish admirers.

Instead, she smiles at him, her own eyes shining badly with mischief and something entirely different, naughty. “H-heh. Y-ou’re ju-st as sick as Iza-na” she croaked out snarkily, her minty breath invading his nostrils. “M-mother fuck-”

“Say that word and I’ll snap your fucking neck.”

She clamped her mouth shut at his promise, opting to smile sultry at him instead, despite her dwindling air supply. Maybe it was the masochist in her, but the constant choking had made her a little less scared and a little more interested in the twisted desire of Mikey lashing out on her, doing this repeatedly. Haruchiyo barely paid attention to her presence and always blamed himself for anything Senju did and Takeomi always blamed Haruchiyo, completely skipping her entirely, even when Haruchiyo had nothing to do with it and she did something bad just for anyone to tell her she was wrong.

Mikey though. He fulfills her fantasy of being scolded, hurt, not treated as some fragile princess, but a tool to take out his hurt and hatred on. And she loves it. Perhaps it’s why he’s always the victim of her constant and persistent attitude, watching him tick was always so fun. At least she knew the one place to win him since he was physically stronger than her.

Dark impulses.

Emma’s lucky to have brother’s that care enough to interfere. Maybe that’s why the blonde girl isn’t as twisted as she is.

The air between the two shifts into something hotter, more charged than before. She coughs violently as Mikey removes his hands off her neck entirely and sits up, his hands flying to his belt. As usual, she watches him from her lashes with interest as he fumbles around with it, ever so impatient to understand or think about what he was about to do with her.

“You’re so desperate” she chuckles as he tosses his belt somewhere in the car. “Bet she can’t fuck you right, huh?”

He didn't say anything as he shrugged his pants off to his knees, breathing harsh as he lowered his face towards hers, capturing her lips in a bruising kiss. She returned it with equal feverency, her fingers digging into his hair.

She smiled into the kiss, closing her eyes to relish in the taste of the sweet pastry he had eaten prior. He pulled away from her lips and began to kiss her neck with fervor, each kiss articulated with quiet “(name)” spilling from his lips as he pushed into her.

The pair don’t notice you staring at them from across the quad, tears streaming down your face.

“YOU’RE not performing as well as you ought to. What is going on (last name?)”

You could think of a myriad of answers to professor Hanabi’s question, but all of them would sound unbelievable to anyone with a good head on their shoulders.

You didn’t know where to even start as you stood in front of the older man. Maybe it was the crushing feeling of guilt that followed you around, or the invasive dreams when you do manage to sleep off, the Sano brothers taking advantage of you in different, shameful ways as Yuzuha’s voice repeats "karma" until you’re screaming awake, tears rolling down your eyes.

It’s apparent your condition was far worse than before. Concealers could hide your eye bags, but they couldn’t hide the slump in your shoulders or the flash of fear whenever you lock eyes with any of the Sano brothers, especially Mikey.

It was a no brainer as to why school was the last thing on your mind right now.

Your gaze casted down to the big F written on your script. You had thought at least your make up test would be good enough for a C with how stressed you were, but apparently, you were wrong about that one too.

It didn’t make any sense, you had Hinata, the smartest girl in class, teach you before the test. So how did this happen?

‘Oh.’ You remember the events of yesterday at the cafeteria. It makes sense to you now that Hinata would lie to make you fail.

Of all courses it had to be the most difficult of them all with an equally difficult lecturer, who happened to be the Dean of the English studies and Language department; professor Daniel Hanabi.

“I-i don’t understand professor-” you started, about to say the words ‘I did everything right’ but quickly stopped yourself. Professor Hanabi was a strict man who prided himself in being correct every time. Assuming that you did everything right would mean that he was wrong and would only get him angry with you, reducing your chances at any form of negotiation. Instead, you changed the tune of the conversation. “- I thought I was prepared-”

“You cannot keep assuming you are prepared for anything, Ms. (Last name).” He hissed, silencing you immediately. You bowed your head in embarrassment as the blonde haired man started tearing at you. “How do you assume you are well prepared for a course, my course specifically? It is either you are or you’re not and looking at this excuse of a test score, you’re NOT. And you know why you failed? It’s because you’re a moron! A bimbo with nothing in that head of yours-”

You stayed silent as the man continued barking at you, tuning out his hurtful words with every curse and insult thrown in your face. You bit back any form of tears so that he wouldn’t find another reason to shout at you.

“- everyday I spend my time trying to impart knowledge onto you people and in turn you all disappoint me. What do you have to say for yourself?”

You took a deep breath, holding back tears of humiliation as you clasped your hands together. You knew the best thing to do was to tolerate his insults so that he could give you another chance. “I apologize, Professor Hanabi.” You began with a humble voice. “It was my fault. You gave me a lot of time to study and I failed to deliver. But please sir, you have to let me try again! I can do better. Please!”

The room fell silent again after your plea, the only noticeable noise being the whirling of the AC in the dean's office. A lump began to form in your throat at the tense atmosphere, wondering what next he was going to say.

“Fine.” He said, making you sigh in relief, one good thing finally happening in your life for the first time in months now. “I’ll let you retake the test next January.”

“Thank you sir!” You said appreciatively. “I’ll do my very best-”

He waved at you dismissively, not in the mood for any sort of thearatics, now facing the rest of his papers. “Just leave my office before I change my mind.”

MIKEY should know better than to bother you.

There’s a sensible part of him that knows he should keep his distance from you. With how you cower away from his presence whenever he comes to see Emma after her classes, or how your body goes rigid when he turns to your direction, attempting to greet you, it’s evident that you don’t want to be in the same space or vicinity as he was. Even Emma complained to both him and Izana that she feels like you’re slipping away from her, that you look for every excuse to not hang out with her anymore and she feels so sad.

It’s not like he didn’t deserve it, even before the events of that night, all his actions prior - from bullying you, to isolating you from any potential friends, the insults, the berating, the way he tormented you for months, turning everyone he sunk his claws into to your enemy, making you the most hated girl in the school- it was only a matter of time until you couldn’t bear to look at him without throwing up in your mouth a little.

He should be happy. After all, it was all he wanted, wasn’t it? For you to be out of their lives? He has finally chased you away.

So why does it annoy him so much that you're avoiding him now?

He stares at you from across the table, taking in your features; you look terrible as compared to the vibrancy of the friend group; your eyes have prominent dark circles, as if you haven’t slept in days, your lips are chapped, dehydrated and your hands twitch nervously underneath his scrutinising gaze, fiddling the spoon in your hands. You’re not looking anyone in the eye, and despite you being usually silent, today it’s different, you look defeated.

Like you don’t want to be here.

“Come on (name), Mikey’s being generous today! He never pays for lunch.” Emma chirps in, nudging you playfully, but you don’t budge. One may think she’s oblivious to your suffering right now, but everyone notices the nervous edge to her voice and the worried look in her eyes.

It’s like there’s this wall that’s impenetrable between you and her.

“I’ll eat”

You fall silent once again, and the meal goes on uneventfully, a little small talk here and there between some of their other friends. Mikey has been quiet too, trying his best not to be obvious in sneaking glances at you, often flickering his gaze to everyone else in their friend group to throw off suspicion. You don’t pay much attention to him or anyone, unlike how in the early days you used to stare at him with so much adoration. There used to be so much life in your eyes, in your body language, in the way you eat, in everything.

He’s succeeded in killing you finally, leaving only your corpse to roam the earth, but he didn’t mean to. If he could bring back that part of you that would worship him, he would. He hates not being the center of your life, not being the reason you’re happy. Sure, it seems like he is being selfish, but he has his own needs as well that you didn’t honor, even when he tried to be nice to you.

You hurt him too, dressing up only to reject his touch. It was humiliating having to deal with the fact that a girl doesn’t want him sexually. He was even willing to break his rule of not sleeping with a virgin for you. He bought you things, he spoiled you and tried to take charge when you were acting like a dead fish and in return, you threatened to kill yourself because he wanted sex like every normal man does and he had to leave with blue balls that night.

Senju was right. He wonders what he saw in you in the first place.

“... can you imagine? They’re not letting anyone stay back in school for winter break.” Emma whined, bringing Mikey back to reality. Everyone else on the table perked up from their food. “What for? What about people who want to stay behind and study? Or people who don’t have anywhere to go?”

Oh yeah. It was in the newsletter that Draken read to him earlier this month -and forced him to listen to. Mikey decides to chime in for the first time since the meal began. “Em, it’s not like they want to chase people out. The school’s undergoing some renovations and they don’t need any one interrupting them.”

“But that doesn’t answer my question.” Emma huffs out. Izana only chuckles at his little sister’s mini tantrum, while Mikey shakes his head. “What about people that don’t have a home to go back to? People that their families abandoned? Where are they supposed to go?”

“They’ll figure it out.” Draken scoffed dryly and some people on the table laughed in response.

“Ken, don't be so callous! (Name)’s in that category since her parents don’t even talk to her anymore-”

Mikey sees it. The subtle way your jaw clenches. But you’re not one to lash out, so he’s not worried. You know how to hold yourself. But Emma doesn’t, continuing on her tirade on just how she hates your parents so much while everyone else on the table looks from her to you.

“- ever since they disowned her, they’ve never bothered to even ask how she was doing! This school’s policy isn’t fa-”

“Emma…”

“-ir at all. Can you imagine? (Name), tell me you’re not going back to them? I can talk to the school if you want me to, they’ll have to listen to me-”

“Emma, please-”

“Don’t worry about it. You don’t have to go back to your shitty parents. Not like they deserve a good daughter like you anyways-”

“Stop it, please-”

Mikey knows that Emma’s in her own world, assuming she’s doing good as she rants about your shitty parents expecting you to agree with her like you always do with everything. But right now, she doesn’t hear the desperation in your tone or see the look of humiliation etched onto your features as everyone turns their attention towards you, staring at you either with pity, amusement or indifference.

“You’re too kind, always protecting them.” Emma sighs, turning to Senju, who like Izana only watches in amusement as you crumble further, tears slowly rolling down your cheeks. The pink haired girl has never liked you from day one, probably because Yuzuha hates you and she - Senju- adores the older woman. “Senju, can you imagine? They kicked her out for wanting to go to school. Ridiculous. Aren’t they terrible people? How would you not want your kid to go to school cause she’s a girl? And (name)’s incredibly smart too-”

“Please stop talking about my parents like that-”

“Oh come on! This again, (name).” She turns back to you, annoyed that she isn’t getting the reaction that she wants. “Why are you protecting them? You know they treated you badly! Your father used to beat you all the time and your mother would just watch-”

“Stop it, you’re making her sad!” Draken tries to cut her off, but it only makes Emma angrier, now facing Draken too. “I’m not! I’m just telling the truth! She keeps taking their side. When have they ever been good parents? Do you know she called her mother some months ago to talk? You all want to know what her mother had to say?”

“Please… don-”

“What did her mother say, Emma?” Yuzuha cuts in, now interested in the conversation, casting her phone aside. Her expression is curious, but there’s a sick glee in her honey coloured eyes, like she’s been waiting for this moment for a long time. “Can you tell us?”

“Gosh! Her mother called her a whore, Yuzuha. Her own mother! What kind of mother calls her virgin daughter a whore for wanting an education?”

The girls on the table dramatically gasped, not because they’re shocked, but because they knew it was upsetting you.

Yuzuha is the first to react, gleeful eyes finding yours, tearfully looking at her as her lips curled into a pitiful smile. “Oh (name), how the tables turned.” She says in a sickening sweet voice. “I know you didn’t think you would end up being your mother’s scapegoat, right? What a shame it happened to you too.”

Your body goes rigid for a brief moment, before snapping back to reality, please spilling from your lips. “Yuzuha please-”

“Huh…” Hinata chimed in, shutting your pleas down as she curiously asked, “Come to think of it. You did grow up together… did you ever encounter (name)’s mother?”

“Of course I did. I babysat her.” Yuzuha says the next part bitterly, as if she’s been holding this in for a very long time now, waiting for the right chance to speak her truth. “Unpaid labor to watch over (name) and teach her good manners. It was hell.” the girls, even Emma laughed, before Yuzuha continued. “You know, (name) acts like a saint now, but back then, she was a self-righteous, obnoxious brat who reported everyone’s wrong doings to her mother and father -letting her parents spread rumors about others, isolating people for silly things. But you know, I forgave her cause it wasn’t her fault she was like that. Her mother was a bible thumping idiot, so it made sense for her to turn out that way, just to get a crumb of attention-”

“Yuzuha, please-”

“But you know what IS unforgivable, though?” Yuzuha’s voice is curt, her eyes narrowed into slits, dealing a devastating blow to your already crumbling reputation. “Your mother called me a lying whore after I told her that your big brother tried to force himself on me.”

The whole table goes silent. Mikey trails his eyes to you, not believing his ears that you were involved in such a terrible act, until he sees the shame and guilt written all over your face, your shoulders trembling with sobs, whispering “I’m sorry” over and over again.

‘So that’s why she didn’t tell anyone anything about what I did.’

Mikey realizes that in a way, he was your karma after all. You would have deserved every single thing he did to you that night.

Yuzuha isn’t done yet. No, she’s been waiting for this opportunity for years, and nothing will stop her from dragging your name through the mud. She starts blinking out tears, trying to hold it in as everyone turns their attention towards you, blood lust permeating the air.

Emma can’t even stare at you. There’s this look of shock on her features, before morphing into one of utter disappointment.

“I understand if you still want to be friends with her, Emma. I kept this secret because you care about her, but everytime I look at this girl, all I can see is the church women berating me for a traumatic experience that wasn’t my fau- fault- oh god I can’t-”

Yuzuha suddenly breaks down, her head buried in her hands as she starts to cry. Hinata and Senju rush to hug the girl, while everyone else stares down at you, furious.

“I feel disgusted just looking at you.” Mitsuya is the first to speak up, his voice full of venom. It’s natural of him to be so protective of Yuzuha, especially because he’s so close to her and Hakkai. “So it was your mother that tried to ruin Yuzuha’s life and then you pretended like nothing happened and tried to join our group?”

“Wait, please I can explain. I wasn’t part of it-”

“Oh, you want to make excuses now?” Keisuke cuts you off angrily. “You’re lucky you’re a woman or I would have beaten you up where you sat.”

One by one, everyone started to gang up on you, cursing you out, not letting you say a single word. Eventually, you felt so powerless surrounded by people screaming at you that you started to cry even more, begging them to hear you out. You turn to the one person that could still have your back, your hands pressed together in a prayer. “Emma, please, you have to tell them to listen to me, please-”

“Why the fuck are you crying now?” Rindou suddenly snapped at you, pushing Emma behind him, not before you saw her turn her head away from you, as if she couldn’t stare at you any longer. “Why do you always have to act like the victim, huh? Is something wrong with you? You should be apologizing to Yuzuha, not dragging Emma into your stupid mess”

You’re quick to fall onto your knees in front of the orange haired girl, your head touching the ground, apologies spewing from your lips. But neither of the brothers, nor their friends care anymore. Mikey feels foolish for worrying about a pathetic human being like you, for having mercy on you instead of taking advantage of you like he should have. All this while, you acted like you were a harmless little ant that can’t do anything, writhing around when someone says something mean to you.

How could he have been so blind?

“Get out before I kill you.”

You look up at Mikey, about to open your mouth to beg him when Izana throws his drink at your head, splashing it on your entire body, sending the message loud and clear; get lost.

Mikey doesn’t feel an ounce of guilt when he sees you carrying your bags and leaving, sobs echoing throughout the entire school.

SOMETIMES, you wonder if you were cursed.

In the year of your birth, your father had lost his job and became a terrible drunk. Your mother had taken even more frequent violent beatings - already a victim for the majority of their marriage- that year, more than any other year and hadn’t found out she was pregnant until she nearly miscarried you.

Bloodied with a swollen eye and a busted lip, she had more things to worry about than a budding child in her womb. Your immediate elder brother was four and the baby of the house, your three older brothers, aged ten, twelve and fifteen had an amazing relationship with your dad, him never hitting or hurting them. She already had four sons to raise, four sons that would carry the (last name) on for generations and for a split second she considered getting rid of you, despite being against it from a religious standpoint.

But then, your father assumed he would have another son. A fifth son. Your father loved sons, they were easier to raise and they were his pride and joy. The others were turning out good, and despite your father’s violence, life was good. A son brings luck and your father assumed he would get a job soon.

You were born unlucky. You were a girl.

Except for the prompting and care of your maternal grandmother, your mother practically abandoned you, hoping you would starve to death. You barely saw your father’s face, except through pictures and he hated touching you.

You knew your crime was being born a girl; you apologized every day and paid dearly for it. You did everything you were told, down to the most humiliating experiences of your life. You were smart enough to realize that if you could gain the love of your father, then everyone would love you too.

Misfortune after misfortune.

You thought the horrors would end there when you ran away from home. That you would change your destiny and live a normal life. All those books you read talked about finding yourself and love in high school, and you couldn’t really, because of the scrutiny of your family, perhaps university would be where you found it.

But now, it’s all gone. You’ve lost everything the moment you gained it, all for things you couldn’t control.

You don’t know how long you've been crying in the payphone booth, pressing the phone on your ear, waiting for someone to pick you up. It’s late in the night, and you’re clad in only your pjs and a jacket to ward off the cold, standing in a cramped space, miles away from your dorm. Your eyes feel swollen from sobbing for long hours, the only thing you do after school, while applying for jobs, while doing your assignments - an everlong sadness etched into the very crevice in your soul.

“Hello, who is this?”

There are no ties left between you and your mother or any member of your family after you ran away two years ago, to show how foolish the idea was to go back to your vomit. But with everything that has happened, there was no other person you could turn to but your parents.

At least there, you knew where you stood and how to avoid trouble. You knew not to look your brother or father in the eye and you knew they rather have too little salt in their food than too much. Your life back then was horrible, but your brothers respected you enough to not allow any man touch you or humiliate you in public like the Sano family and their group of horrible friends have done, even if it’s all to preserve your family’s image.

“I’m sorry but if you’re not going to say anything, I’m going to have to cut the call.”

“W-wait don’t go-” You blurt out quickly, racking through your brain to say anything before she starts getting suspicious. “I-i- is the (lastname)’s home?”

“Yes. What do you want?”

Your heart nearly breaks into two at the fact that not even your mother recognizes your voice. Sure it’s been two years but surely your voice hasn’t changed that much since then, has it? Were you that irrelevant that you - her child, her only daughter- were not something of importance or someone to remember?

You comb through your brain to think of something to say. What do you even say to someone who called you a disgrace to all women? That told you she will never ever forgive you for breaking her heart? You’re sure if you lead with a ‘hey, mom, it’s me’ she’d cut the call, still angry at you for running away from home and bringing shame to your family’s name by doing so.

Your parents never forgot your past transgressions when you were in the house, always holding it up over your head and weaponizing it against you to get you to be a good girl. Back then, you were sure they hated you and all your classmates muttered about how abusive it was to be in that kind of situation, but now, even the beatings given to you pales in comparison to the trauma the Sano brothers have put you through.

You want to go back to your parents and tell them you were sorry for thinking they were bad people. That you love them and you’re ready to be a good child and do as they say. “Do you by chance have a daughter?” you decide to test the waters, hopeful she’d be at least receptive to hearing about you. “I’m her friend and I know that I’m doing this behind her back but she really misses you-”

“I had a daughter” she cuts you off abruptly, her tone cold, talking about you in past tense as if you’re dead. Maybe you are dead to your mother at least, with how hateful she sounds, as if your name is poison. “If by any chance that whore is trying to reconcile then tell her to not bother us. Goodbye.”

“Wait, mama it’s me! It’s (name)! I’m sorry, i’m sor-”

The line goes dead before you could say anything else.

Sobs escape from your lips, the phone slipping from your hand to the ground with a dull thud, your body sliding down the phone booth, head buried in your hands as your shoulders tremble. Of course, what did you expect? That your mother would want you back? You’re not her beloved sons who would carry the family name further, you’re a liability of a daughter who couldn’t do one thing right.

Even if you do come home, you’re already partially soiled with Manjiro touching you, with nothing to your name but the shame of failure in every aspect of your life.

“Please mama, I want to come home.”

‘sixteen missed calls from: (nick name) <3’

‘Thirty unread messages from: (nickname) <3’

‘5 voicemails from: (nickname)<3’

HOW do you forgive someone who has been lying to you your entire friendship?

You're the least person she’d expect to betray her like this. She assumed you were an open book, that you told her everything about your past, your family and your life, because she did so. You’re the first person she dared to bare her heart to that wasn’t either a childhood friend or her brother’s goons. You’re the person she risked all her relationships for, always fighting for you, defending you against her brother’s accusations, that you wanted something from her, probably because you were poor. She even dared to fall in love with you, in love with the person you showed her you were.

But that was a lie. Everything about you is a lie. You weren’t an innocent, helpless girl who was kicked out by her cruel family, you were just as cruel as they were. Outing Hakkai for being gay, keeping quiet about what happened to Yuzuha, ruining a girl’s chance to escape her arranged marriage by telling her family where she hid? It just kept getting worse with each tearful story Yuzuha had told her.

You were not the person she thought you were.

Her brothers had tried to warn her. Izana is usually a good judge of character, and he was always paranoid when it came to you. Mikey’s friendly to everyone, but for some reason, you and him clashed so often. Emma used to put the blame on her brothers’ difficulty to accept change. Now she realizes that maybe they saw something dangerous in you that she didn’t.

Her phone rings loudly again from across the room, but Emma has not made any effort to pick it up, opting to just lie face down on the hotel bed, waiting for Draken to come out of the bathroom. She knows it’s you calling her, begging her to please listen and hear you out, but she can’t bring herself to do so. Even if she picks it up, you’re just going to lie, hide the truth from her to save your skin. How many secrets have you been keeping from her? How many more? How could you betray her like this?

She won’t fall for it. Never again.

Eventually, the calls stop coming in, probably because you’re tired or you’ve figured it out that you’re not needed anymore. She asks Draken to help her delete all the messages and voicemails when he comes out, not wanting to look at them anymore, or she might cave and call you back.

And when he was done, she asks him to fuck her until she can’t remember the name of her traitous friend.

It doesn’t work.

IZANA loves being right.

Watching Mikey furiously pace around, his fists balled at his side as he curses you over and over again was vindicating. All along, Izana knew you were suspicious, that good girl act of yours, how quickly you became friends with Emma, how not even Hinata liked you when they first met you; it had to mean you were hiding something.

He didn’t expect it to be so big, of course, but it felt good to be correct.

So now, while everyone is reeling from Yuzuha’s confession, Izana is gleeful. You’re finally, finally the villain in this story for the first time and he’s not seen as the crazy bully who tormented you for nothing. Sure, Emma is crying her eyes out in her room as Draken tries to comfort her, and Mikey’s having a mental crisis about how he should have gone ahead that night instead of sparing you, he’s personally, is having the time of his life, pouring shots after shots for himself and Kisaki.

If he had it his way, he would have thrown a ‘fuck you, (name)’ party to celebrate you being gone from their lives.

“Come on now Mikey!” he calls out, holding out a drink for him, a wide smile on his face. “You’ve got to sit down, have a drink. I’ll even get you a cocktail that’s sweet, just the way you like it. Stop pacing around like you’re the guilty one.”

Mikey stops for a moment, his dark empty eyes darting from Izana’s drink to Izana’s smirking face. His facial expression is almost unreadable, if not for the brewing irritation hidden beneath his carefully crafted blank stare.

‘Oh’ Izana reminds himself of that unfortunate night that he wasted all his energy on helping his brother to get you, his smile dropping outwardly. ‘I forgot that he was also beginning to have feelings for her. How troublesome.’

The white haired man sets down the drink carefully, refusing to break eye contact with his younger brother. It seemed Mikey’s opposing mood must have sobered up Izana, at least to the point where he could stand up carefully and walk up to his little brother until they were standing face to face with each other. Kisaki watches the event unfold, one leg strewn over the other as he sips on his drink.

“Manjiro, rejoice, you can rest easy now” Izana starts, after a momentary long pause. “She can never use what you did to her against you. No one's gonna believe her. I know she was beginning to mean something to you and you were navigating very difficult feelings, things you don’t understand-”

Manjiro’s eyes hardened at Izana’s words even further, the frown on his face deepening. “I think I understand my feelings very well.” He snaps defensively, as if saying he had feelings for you was some kind of insult. “I was not in love with her. I’m just annoyed that I fell for her innocent act.”

Izana blinked once. Then twice. Then three times.

‘This idiot cannot be serious’

Composing himself, Izana takes in a deep breath, rubbing his temples with a groan. He’s back to Mikey denying his true feelings to cope, square one again. “Mikey, it’s okay to feel betrayed by (name). Everyone knows you wanted her and that’s fine-”

“I did not want her.”

“Mikey don’t lie to yourself. I know what I saw that night-”

“I don’t care what you saw, I did not want her then and I don’t want her now-”

There’s a growing frustration gnawing at Izana’s mind, but also amusement. Mikey is so prone to denying his own feelings, and denying the truth, even when evidence was face to face with him, that it was nearly hilarious to watch him do it, especially when it’s someone he feels is beneath him.

“Mikey, do you like her?”

“No.”

“You’re lying. You do have feelings for her. Just admit it. That’s why you’re upset about it right? About what she did? Because now, you’re torn between loyalty to us and going after her-”

“I said I don’t like her. I even feel disgusted for ever touching her in the first place.” Mikey looks terribly pissed at this point, his face red with anger. This was getting ridiculous now, it’s written all over Mikey’s body- the twitching of his left fist, the rapid blinking, even how he’s trying to even his breath to calm down; each denial is a confession. “I’ve got many girls that want to fuck me, she’s not the only one.”

“-and yet, you wanted to chase after her.” Izana spat back. “Isn’t that right?”

“Keep believing in your own delusions, Izana.”

“Delusions? Says the man who keeps jerking off to her nude photos every night.”

Mikey hadn’t even realized when he jumped on top of his brother, pushing him down hard on the wooden table and knocking the drinks over, shattering the expensive bourbon whiskey Kisaki had just acquired to the ground and started exchanging blows with him. Izana doesn’t hold back either, wrestling Mikey off him to the ground, swinging twice as hard.

“Oh come on,” Izana yelled, articulating his words with brutal blows to Mikey’s jaw and face, sending it flying upward. “Everyone knows what is up Mikey. You’re head over heels for her-”

All Mikey saw was red as he swung his head downwards, landing on his elder brother’s nose hard and destabilizing him, before throwing Izana on the wall. Mikey corners him in place, before punching his abdomen repeatedly, making the older man cough violently. “I told you I don’t love that bitch,” His voice didn’t change inflection as he switched his direction to Izana’s cheek. “Why the fuck don’t you ever listen to me? Are you trying to piss me off?”

The older male blocked the last fist aimed at his face and kneed his brother in his stomach, before kicking him to the floor. A psychotic grin made its way to Izana’s face, like the painful blows were nothing to him. “Just a few weeks ago-” he kicked Mikey in the face, making the blond tumble across the floor. “ -you were all over her, wanting her to sit on your lap and feed you? Bet you called your other sluts her name, didn’t you?”

“So what if I did? Doesn’t matter! I’m not in love with her.”

“Really? That’s not normal Mikey-”

Izana’s mockery only fuelled Mikey’s anger, making him push himself off the ground and kick his brother violently in his face. The white haired man fell straight to the ground, howling with laughter at Mikey’s outburst as the blonde jumped on top of him, ready to punch his face again.

“You’re so in love with her-”

“THAT IS ENOUGH!”

Mikey’s hand froze mid punch at the sound of Kisaki Tetta screaming at the top of his voice from the sofa. Kisaki looked at the two of them, nose turned up in disgust as he folded his arms around his chest. The two brothers looked around them, realizing the wreckage they caused within just minutes of fighting- broken vases, the shattered whiskey soaking into Hajime’s imported rug, and glass shards.

His glass encased eyes scanned around the room, tsking at the destruction. “Kokonoi’s going to fucking kill me.” He murmured before looking at the two males, a frown on his lips. “All this over one bitch?” he asked, a brow raised in disappointment and shock. “I’d be impressed if I wasn’t pissed.”

Izana was the first to react, scoffing at the younger male’s unwanted interruption. “This isn’t your problem-”

“It’s mine now.” Kisaki shot back hotly, irritated by everything that was going on. “Since we can’t even have peace of mind now that she is gone, it’s definitely my problem. The both of you, get up. Now.”

The two of them begrudgingly untangled themselves from each other and got up, dusting their clothes, ignoring the bruises scattered all over their body. Or the blood dripping down Mikey’s face from the cut on his head, and his eye that was now black and swelling up, even the way Izana held his abdomen painfully. Kisaki eyed both of them, moving from Mikey to Izana and then Mikey again.

“Mikey, you know normally I don’t care about what woman you see, as long as it’s not affecting our business.” He starts, taking in a deep, long breath before letting it out. “But everyone’s noticed the change in your demeanour since that party where you and (name) fought.”

“Are you agreeing with Izana?”

“Come on, even Kisaki can see it, you’re the one who’s playing dum-”

“ENOUGH!” Kisaki interjected once again, extremely frustrated by their constant squabbles. The brothers kept quiet, as Kisaki continued. “Mikey, it’s clear there’s a tension between the two of you. I don’t mind whether you label it or not, but it’s clear this is affecting you.”

It was Mikey’s turn to roll his good eye, voice dripping with sarcasm. “I’m fine.-”

“Manjiro Sano, you are twenty-four for god’s sake. Stop being so childish for once.” Izana spat back, getting fed up. Kisaki nodded, agreeing with Izana. “He has a point. You can’t keep pretending it doesn’t exist forever. For some reason, you want her.”

Mikey took a long and deep breath, trying to make headway and listen to what Kisaki was saying, despite the whole ordeal being so difficult for him. His good dark eye flickered to Kisaki’s face as he asked. “What the fuck are you implying”

“It’s very easy,” Kisaki shrugged his shoulders. “you just need to get her out of your system.”

Izana started smiling deviously, wanting to piss off Mikey even further. “Like a rebound? Well, Senju tried, but then she got really pissed with him moaning a different girls name while being balls deep in her-”

“Shut up and let me finish.” Kisaki barked. When he was sure no one was going to interrupt him, he continued. “Mikey, you have to sleep with (name)”

As much as Izana wanted to pass off Kisaki’s idea as a stupid plan, it actually sounded like a good idea. Sometimes, you just need to get something to see how worthless and unimportant it was so that you can let it go. He had to admit, as much as Kisaki was a bastard who was only doing this for his drug business, he couldn’t deny he was more insightful than anyone when it came to interpersonal relationships.

Too bad he couldn’t use that skill to get the woman he loved.

“You’re fucking crazy.” Mikey interjects, his face scrunched up in disgust, repulsed by the idea. “She has rejected me so many times and look at the way we kicked her out of the group. She’s not going to believe me if I suddenly switch up and pretend to be nice just to get in her pants. And I don’t sleep with virgins-”

“But it seem like you really want to fuck this one.” Izana retorts dryly. Kisaki shoots him a dirty look, making the older man raise his hand not clutching his abdomen in mock surrender.

“I don’t want her.” Mikey spits out. It’s clear he’s getting tired of everyone being on his case about you. “Yeah, I wanted to sleep with her at some point, but she sucks at everything I ask her to do. She can’t even satisfy me sexually, even when she’s on board. There’s nothing redeeming about her personality, she’s a boring prude with nothing to offer. Why the hell would I chase after her?”

“Mikey, are you sure? You know, we can help you-”

“If she ever approaches me again, I’ll snap her neck.”

Without saying anything else, Mikey picks up his phone and storms out of the room, slamming the door behind him. Kisaki collapses on the couch, snatching the bottle instead of the shot glass, mumbling something along the lines of Mikey being a ‘spoiled brat’ and how he’s tired of all this dramatic nonsense before downing the drink in one go.

Izana stands there, looking at the door, blinking slowly as if processing everything that just happened, the wheels turning his head. He knows Mikey is lying about not wanting you, Izana can see it in his younger brother’s eyes and it should anger him, after all, he went through the stress of dealing with the aftermath of the situation, then setting up the mall outing that would make you indebted to Mikey and do whatever he wants with you. After all, those are times where Izana could have been doing something else entirely.

He should be angry. He had every right to. Any normal person would be angry for that much effort over something that didn’t work.

But when you’re Izana Kurokawa, you take every opportunity that has been staring at you for so long, even the one that doesn’t seem desirable enough at first glance, because in the end, you know the rewards are far greater and more interesting for the future.

A twisted grin makes its way to his face, his eyes gleaming with overwhelming excitement as the pieces fall into place for his next move. He was known as the gasoline to Mikey’s flames, always fanning the flames of dark impulses in Mikey’s heart and pushing him to be the worst version of himself.

And it seemed like Mikey just needed a little push in the right direction to lead him down the path Izana wants him to go.

‘It’s my turn to play with your toy, little brother’

Bonus:

SCHOOL closes eventually for the holidays.

Your roommate was already gone days before the official day came, leaving you all alone and you would have asked to come with her, but you know her answer would be a strong no. You tried calling Emma again, but her line doesn’t go through anymore, reminding you of the bitter reality that you’re truly alone in this world.

The school’s order was swift, kicking anyone left out or handing out suspensions to anyone that refused to leave. The last thing you needed was a suspension, so you packed a little of your things and wandered around in the bitter cold of the winter.

Things were hard at first. You tried your best not to look suspicious so that no one would suspect you’re homeless and call the police to report you or harrass you. At night, there was so much violence- fights would break out, there was so much stealing. Some of the men in the surrounding area had tried to take advantage of you, but you didn’t hesitate to defend yourself, fighting back and escaping.

It’s not like it’s your first time being homeless. So you know. It’s not easier for you, but at least you’re not as naïve as you were at seventeen.

Eventually, you wound up at a homeless shelter somewhere around town. It was crowded, cramped and smelt like damp mold most of the time, but at least you had a bed and two warm meals everyday. You could study now with little fear of getting robbed here, and go out and look for some odd jobs to do to earn money.

“Hey, missus cambridge, it’s food time.”

Your head snaps up from your book as the woman calls out to you. You didn’t really know her name or anything about her other than how she lost her kid and then everything in her life spiralled, wounding her up here. She was as nice as one could be trying to survive, giving you the name missus cambridge because you always held your bookbag so tight whenever you slept and then you did nothing but read all day or work all day.

“Yes mam.” You said, dropping your book, stuffing it into your bag and strapping your bag to yourself, before heading out towards the church. You were told that every Christmas, they donate food to the shelter from December to January, before disappearing into thin air. You found it ironic, the way that the soup drive gave them something to say they’re good people and call it a day. You don’t blame them. You don’t blame anyone for doing what they want to do.

After waiting your turn and getting your food, you sat down quietly somewhere far away from others. For once in your life, despite not having a roof over your head or a stable place to eat, you had peace of mind. No one was dragging you around and forcing you to do what you don’t want. Or breathing down your neck and telling you want to do. Or trying to rape you constantly.

Just peace and quiet.

‘Maybe this is better.’ you thought to yourself. ‘It’s better if I am alone. Everyone I loved always betrayed me or turned their backs on me. And it’s exhausting to keep enduring it. I don’t have to pretend to like people that hurt me or want me dead. I can live my life, now.’

With that understanding, you eat your food like it’s the best thing in the world. Being alone wasn’t so bad after all.

417 notes · View notes

ajy006 · 6 months ago

Note

Omg, that last fic you just wrote, omg 😭😭, I was like, wowww!! And then the end say 'to be continued', I legit just cried reading that, I need more of this please, you can't stop at that 😭 . Anyways your fic is always good and I love reading it when there is a new update 🥹

Sun

Female reader

Warnings : Love bombing. Manipulation. Bullying.

⌜Aww, thank you dearie for loving my fiction. It's warms my heart to know you enjoy and here, it is the second chapter⌟

𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒

Life is full of unexpected surprises and she could had never assumed his approach in her life as well as his lies and motives. Is giving second chance to the same man broken your heart the right decision ?

Cameron and (Y/N) both went to the same high school. Separately not together. There is a vivid difference, they might shared the same high school, same year, same section even shared same desk however they never shared words let alone looks because way before they both knew they will share an romantic bond, one thing was clear to her that he was the sun and is the sun to this day. Before these university students knew him or even met him, (Y/N) recognize him just from his mere name, a name so unforgettable, so different it made people crank their neck and once look at the said boy's face to be beyond satisfied, it lure people in more than they already were like sun does and thankfully she wasn't one of them in her high school time because he didn't wanted to lure her, catch her attention. She vaguely remembers how in the class he didn't spare a glance at her as if she was never present, a ghost of once lived person that's how she was treated by Cameron unlike by other students who knew her, liked her including her friends who she had to farewell to attend in the current university she is in. It was a very bittersweet emotions, full of fear and new possibility to come and one of those possibility Cameron was never even a suspect.

The popular boy, the sun of the school also succeed becoming the heart of campus within a span of months, like each passing person wrapped around his fingers and she could see why, his personality down to earth, no necessary fights, teacher's golden boy and rarely a showoff why would he ? when his causal go to shoes, watches, dress are more than enough to recognize from one look. A independent money maker makes his own brand by money but people born with money are the brand. No in-between she believes yet she never envies or wanted it because as much as she knew money buys everything even happiness because one of the choices it buys is where happiness lies along consequences, misery, stress, fakeness so she is content with her life, walking though her major classes holding books and studying hard to pass like others, blending into faces of others and ever once catching glimpse into the heart of campus boy circled by his friend groups, all laughing, enjoying. Looking genuine picture perfect friendship she yearn back recalling her own tore friendships due to decreased calls, different schedule and distance. In here, she is a loner, studier. Well, to think of the brighter side she has her twenty-four seven hour privacy, assignments submit on time and grades better than one another and on weekends have time to spend with parents.

"Today chapter 8 will be studied.." She tailed off sitting on the first row of her classroom with few more students on their seats, her eyes focus on the chapter they will be studying which she already did and even though it went over her head, at least she is prepared however thinking of the teacher makes her regret seating on the first row. What if he asks her questions ? and embarrass her in front of everyone and be the jester of their cruel joke for a week or two until a new comes ? No, (Y/N) isn't here to be remembered so her hands jumbly grab her spread belongings and went to the last row and sit on the corner where the teacher might have problem spotting her like a shark smelling for blood because of his near-sighted vision.

A sigh pass her lips, feeling less anxiety. Anxiety ? her mood sombre of how once people grow and shed their childhood lives into adulthood, it also earn new things like anxiety she never had before. What a life. Another sigh pass her lips.

"You are sighing a lot for someone so studious". The sound of his voice, both gentle and jarring made her jump with surprise. Her mind knew who it was to turn her head to face the Cameron she never knew would be talking to her, sparing a glance. Her wide eyes met his daze ones, his head rest on his shoulder on the desk like his sleeping was disturbed.

"I am sorry". She mumble not knowing why she had.

"It's okay, so ?" A yawn escape his lips.

"So ?" Her voice quiet yet the room quieter she was afraid her heart racing could be heard. It was his time to sigh now, slowly sitting up only to lean back in his chair.

"Why did you come from the front to back ?" His gaze lazy and voice husky.

"I thought you were sleeping". Her words escape more than she could allow.

"I was not, only laying". He shrug his shoulders. "Resting". Tiredly he announced making her head nod. "So ?" (Y/N) gulp, licking her lips, suddenly a stranger to talks perhaps the person not be the heart of campus without difficulty she would answer.

"I was scared for the professor to ask me question and I do not want to be embarrassed by not knowing the answer". She doesn't know if his constant nods were for understanding or a show.

"So, even a studious person is fearful ?" A smile tug his lips like the tugs inside her heart. Did she never notice how handsome he is while smiling. Wait, her mind pause for a second questioning how he knew of her existence, yes at first she notice the word but repeating it makes him appear he knows her.

"How do you know I am studious ?" Was the question inappropriate ? laughable ? because why is he chuckling like she said a joke ? maybe he notice her confusion too for him to cough and hide the unhidden blooming smile.

"Everybody knows you. Yes, you think cool kids are popular". His both hand's fingers quote. "But smart kids are also known, where you also fall in that". Oh. Really ? then why no one forward a hand to be her friend she desire to ask but refrained.

"Okay". At her quiet voice he nod his head and her eyes concentrate back to the chapter she left earlier, feeling her skin burn under his gaze. For the entire time until professor Martin came did she felt relief to breath after his watchful gaze was taken off, gulping hard and head decking a little to not caught the professor's eye.

"Good morning class, let's start the new chapter, shall we ?" The students clearly with lack of energy spoke yes in unison satisfying the professor who's eyes scan the page for a minute.

"Here it comes". Her fingers cross, heart ratting against her cage.

"Because this chapter is almost like a squeal of before chapter, how about I ask how much you remember chapter 7 ?" a sadistic smile appear on his lips with his eyes searching a prey to relief his stess of personal life. "Hey you !" His finger pointed to her and her heart paused, breath halted and soul whisk outside of body.

"Yes ! You boy". Huh ? Her eyes narrow slightly realizing the finger is actually pointed to Cameron, not her. How grateful to god she is biting back a smile yet feeling sympathy for him. Cameron smile standing up.

"Explain your feeling of this art movement". The professor asked pointing to the art display on the huge projector. (Y/N) saw the painting and her curious mind desire to know his answer.

Confidently Cameron spoke "It's a revolutionary paradigm shift, sir! It'll unlock the secrets of the human psyche, tap into our collective unconscious, and reveal the meaning of life!" Her jaw dropped and the professor's harden.

"What !" Her eyes stare at his side face.

"It's a style of wallpaper design from the 1970s. You've been reading too much into the patterns". Dryly Martin said. "I asked your feelings about the painting not analysis". The silent class bust out into laughter yet (Y/N)'s ears notice the laughs aren't biting, harsh, even mocking rather the opposite she experienced with her friends if she said a dad joke. A mellow comforting it was just like he is, smiling sheepily as if he isn't even ashamed.

"Mr. Clerk—".

"You know me sir ?" A forced sigh left the professor being cut off.

"Do. Not. Dare. Cut. Me. Off". Slowly he warned, his lips curving to the letters like he wants to slap the young lad with it causing Cameron comically make a zip his lips only to increase the laughter from the students. "Also in collage here is no student or teacher not heard of you".

Professor glaring directly. "So, Mr. Clerk, may I know why a business student is in my art class ? It's a far different class to be lost". Bemused his voice was. Right, (Y/N) realize how never did she met him so close before because their majors are completely different.

Her eyes slide up to flinch meeting his.

"He is staring at me". A strange sensation slit her body inside. The bright blazing eyes of his bored into without the intention of looking away.

The aged voice clearly losing thread of patience. "Mr. Clark, eyes on me". She look down in fear of getting caught.

"Think of it to study with my crush". Her heart skip a beat feeling his eyes still heat her skin abnormally. "Sir". He added finally taking the gaze to the aged man.

Groaning the teacher. "Make sure to not fail". Defeated the older man roll his eyes knowing serious answer won't be earned out of him. Or was it really a serious answer (Y/N) wondered for some reason glancing to see him sit before averting to resume her study like the teacher.

As usual her mind focus, eyes on information to soak and finger holding pen to copy any important notes however what unusual she feels is his occasional asking questions of few things. How distant was she to forget the interaction with strangers ? Or maybe his presence cause her react differently.

Watching his polite, humble and funny side from so close, so near she almost felt she could see the sun directly without being blind as writing a tiny smile curve to her lips having someone beside her, not alone.

"Okay then, see you tomorrow". The professor left holding his belongings looking as if he fought a war and (Y/N) strech her stiff shoulders and begin packing when a figure towered over her in front of her desk. From below her (E/C) eyes saw the familar black shirt he wore with jacket.

"What is your name ?" Her hands halted as her eyes look at him through her lashes.

"Why you ask ?" She returned with an question.

"Because I want to ask you a favor".

"What is it ?"

"Well, I want to do arts and I am terrible at it knowing my course is business but you know, there is a thing called burned out ? So I wanna try something new yet need a person to help me...". He tailed off, gazing sideways himself and he didn't need to finish when it reach her.

He needs her to be his tutor.

"I am average myself. You should ask the top student". She suggested, zip the chain with a click.

"But I am comfortable with you only". He blurt her and stole her breath. "Also I saw you today, your skills are good, really good". He awkwardly compliment, smiling as he himself, the campus of the heart is shy. How strange, She thought seeing a side she never knew would be towards her.

"Okay". She agree not seeing any reasons not to unaware along opening the gates of her life, she opened her heart too.

They exchange numbers and decide to study at liberty checking their schedule and part ways. Her mood was cherrier, happier feeling a step closer being with someone, knowing a new person regardless of their popularity walking through the halls to reach her next session.

BANG !

Her heart jumped on her throat despite used to hear them everyday, the vivid jerking, banging was usual, a daily occurrence she wish wasn't. Her (E/C) eyes went to the owner of the sound— four boys surround another boy slamming his body like a ragdoll to the metal bars, depriving pleasure from the boy who's blood trickle from his forehead painting a gut-wrenching scene she was forced to look away, walking without a second thought, like a coward, an accomplish.

But what could she do ? she won't be the first to complaint, forward a hand and become next target of the gang, the leader— Adrien, his face flash her mind, sending a sour taste on her lips knowing the information he is one of the many friends of Cameron. Despite never involving with the bullying himself, he never stood to retaliate either however then again the bullying never happen in his prescene always his lack of.

"Was it good to be closer to him ?" Hate the sin, never the sinner. A saying her mother speak frequently which she disagree with also in this case Cameron isn't even the sinner so pushing him, judging him without knowing him isn't it harsh ? Stop. Stop. focus on study. She remind to divert from a dilemma that isn't even hers to choose.

The next classes were at ease as she focus on her studies and went to home only to receive a text message from him reminding her of their beginning of the sessions. A nervous shudder pass her spine and doubts creeping her whether she will reach his expectation making her study extra hard not to disappoint.

Day 1

She smiling, held her book tightly to her chest walk to her period. Her eyes glance at the window to stare at the burning sun and suddenly she thought "How pretty it is". Before flinching.

A deafening unpleasant noise shudder her body as she stop in her tracks. She open her eyes daring to look at the direction of the noise she knew was their bullying however she stopped herself. It's none of her business and she rather like not getting involved walked away as always, this time gulit worse because she feels like a remorseless person left without sparing a glance. Cruel. Cruel and selfish she is so are others she felt.

"It's okay. Study". Convincing herself mentally she went inside the class drowning in studies and like a cool breeze of summer time pass along classes when she stretch her hands finally catching a break when a notification catch her attention.

"Could you meet now to study ?" She didn't had to look who and beyond happiness she collect her belongings walking to the library after typing "Yes". And there she found him sitting turning the white pages of book by his slender pale fingers. The sun's ray behind him like a halo of angel glowed him and in the bluest sky of white birds flew above his head he looked nothing less than a dream, a beautiful dream her heart strings tug hard and fingers twitch to capture the heavenly moment.

"How beautiful he is". For a motal daring to merely look at the sun is a blessing she felt. Unaware it burns those same eyes too. Naïve little girl she could hear her grandmother scold. Beautiful faces have the most wicked hearts a saying her grandmother learnt and passed to her who ignored walking near him and sat earning those onyx eyes on her and a grin on his lips.

"Shall we start ?" She nod happily, teaching him the best she can, answering his each question patiently, clearly even sometimes using visuals to understand the topic more clearly and like a good guy he is, nod, doing as he is told, correcting his mistakes with apologizes and thinking with his brain not his ego. Slipping some compliments too pulling small smiles and chuckle out of her.

Their study session was at ease the buzz of time limit alarmed her because the ticks of clock melt like water in their moments she couldn't realize how much time pass. Seem it surprise even him.

"See, I told you. I am comfortable with you". Grinning he proved a point she didn't even considered.

"I can see". Smiling, her finger pad press the red circle of stop on the alarm. "Also for a beginner you are great. Beyond average". Honestly she said, a lace of envy hidden underneath. How could it not when a beginner like him is better than she was sinking another realization how some people are born genius, exceptional to ace anything.

"No, nothing like that". He was quick to shut the praises, his brows furrow so is hers. She tilt her head.

"Why ? It's brilliant". His shinning onyx eyes bore into hers.

"It's alright". He shrug, still denying the great art he done. A art better than most of her art peers.

"Well.." Biting her lips, her fingers took the sheet of paper. "Yes, it's alright than most of the seasoned artist including me but look at the way you draw it in your first time with the lighting, shading, coloring. I think it's marvelous". She look at him and his thin pressed lips bust out laughing. She remained pluzzed.

He laughs a lot she notice and it was comforting like the rays of sun touching the skin when it's setting down at sunset.

"Alright to others...." In between the soft words slip, laughing before glancing to her. "Thank you. You are funny". She is ? For the first time someone said it to her, even her friends of previous high school do not consider her the clown of their group, she was always the silent type of the group. Well, some people just appear different to other eyes she assume.

"Welcome and thank you". Wider her smile become only to turn pale remembering she is late to her class. "Oh shit !" Grabbing her things she stood up. "I am sorry, goona go". He laughing nod, waving byes. Looking amused.

Day 2

"Sorry, I am late". Panting puff of her heavy breath, she sat down. Rubbing her eyes a little.

"Why ? Chased by a tiger perhaps ?" Her weighted sleepy eyes awaken and hands halted. She look at her him and he smile wider. "Joking. It's to make people laugh". Mellow his laugh vibrate at his own sillyness. Never knew joke was part of his self. Then again she know nothing about him other than at passing glances. Somehow that meaningless moment to him was a flutter to her heart because she was learning about him.

The sleep from her eyes vanish and with sweet feeling she begin forgetting how sour her day was, waking up late due to her alarm clock's battery low and coming to class late and be center of attention of teacher's scornful eyes and almost fell asleep again when the class ended slip away the thought of their session. Like a candy he was, with one taste on her lips the more she savored the tiny thing the sweeter it taste to fresh her mind.

They begin studying and as usual the time melt in back as the pair focus on the important things. With him studying never felt like a chore rather a favorite time of her day where she could share her ideas, methods to someone at the end of day where the other would genuinely listen and he does. Soak her methods and appreciate her.

"So if you ever want to do the shading good you have to—".

Please please please don't prove I'm right ! Please please please don't bring me to tears when I just did my makeup so nic—

SLAM ! Closing her eyes in embrassment she shut the phone down and open to see him hiding his same smile.

"I forget to silent my phone". Sweating nervously, she blurt out, glancing to other few students who seem to be in their little bubble and she silently curse to not make the same mistake she once did. Quickly she message her mother who's personally she tune the song for that she will talk late. She is busy.

"Okay ! So where we were..." Tailling she avert her eyes to meet his despite feeling the weight on her self.

"You like Sabrina Carpenter ?" She wince not wanting to recall the moment ago mistake. Blush red her skin, she knows she is overreacting yet little moments like this keep her awake at darkest of night.

"Can we—".

"It's okay. I am just asking". He pursed his lips. "Because of her sudden hype ?" He cleared his throat, genuine interested in her answer.

"No !" Too eager she deny.

"Then ?" Cameron push a little.

"Well, I liked her for a long time. From the song feather". Expect honesty her whisper voice said.

"And I from nonsense". Drop ! The casualty of his unfolding another part of himself was surprising that she turn to look at him shock.

"O my god ! I never thought you would also know her from that time !"

"Common than you know, like finding people with similar likings".

"Yes ! But not from you" Shit ! Her hands clasp on her lips little late than the words escape causing the tables to turn and his eyes to suddenly wide.

"Really ? Am I that uncool and unapproachable ?" Hint of offense lace in his voice she couldn't hide her blossoming smile. "Wow ! What a girl, you are laughing at me now". Scoffing Cameron playfully glare at her wider her smile too much than her comfort.

"Sorry, I am sorry". Snort overshadowed her apologies that he scoff louder. Not out of offense rather at fun. She shuffle her laugh a little well. "I am genuinely sorry". With her best thin pressed lips she said.

"Are you ?" Skeptical he narrow his eyes.

"No". She bust out laughing so does he. She is laughing a lot she felt, he is contagious she thought. His habit clinging to her. Not good for her heart as she mute her laugh at best.

"It's okay I was joking. I like your laugh". Her heart skip a beat and the blush deepen. Not good for her heart indeed.

Day 3

"I am thinking nightcore should be popular again". Out of blue he commented, the back of his pen within his fingers poke his pink lips.

"Huh ?" She tilt her head, coloring the shade without glancing she could feel his gaze rest on her. Out of blue he likes to say the most random things she ever known. Another unknowm part of his she entered.

"Yes, because I was listening the mix nightcore songs named six pills and seven days by Rosendale". She pause. Look up at him.

"O my god ! He is such a underrated star ! I love his the rose and the king song". Cameron sit straight, a habit she observed when he found something interesting.

"I too ! I like his the neighbors. The way he makes stories turn into songs it just amazing ! He has a talent and need recognization". (Y/N) truly believed that thought.

"Also I do agree your thinking of nightcore needs popularity because you heard the male nightcore version of alibi by underdogs". Cameron shake his head. He didn't and with pleasure she pick her phone that is on silent mode and put the song.

Her fingers then gave him the otherside of earbuds to listen and he took it, his onxy eyes stare at the thumbnail a little. A smirk lift his lips.

"You sure, you didn't click the video by the image of geto from jjk ?" His eyebrows raise at her pause before connecting their eyes.

"Yes, so what ? I am just a girl". Puff her chest she said, pat twice on her chest he flicker his eyes at to her face. Snicker he listen to the song, drawing his heart out and on the other end of earbuds she finish her unfinished works. Both basking at one another's presence. The sunset outside with birds was pretty too.

Day 4

"Class, tomorrow the test results will be in your hands ! Hopefully you all have done well". Professor Martin said, holding the bunch of white sheets and leaving groaning and sighing students behind.

A sigh came to his ear. Cameron turn his head to his seatmate. (Y/N) who is on her shoulder rest her head. At the verge of tears.

"What happen ? Not good ?" She shake her head in his confusion. "Then ? Extremely bad ?" She shake her head again to further puzzle him. "Then ?"

"It was good, great actually ?" He nod, a sign to continue. "And that's worrisome ! Because how can all the questions answer can I know ? There must be few where or many where I will be found wrong ! There is no way I found all the questions revisioned !". A chortle pass his lips as he rest on his shoulder too, facing her on the desk.

"(Y/N), that only means you were brilliant. Not that deep". Soft the edges of his eyes become, staring at her and for some reason a bubble of their own little world came to her, washing away others behind leaving only him and her. Them alone.

His eyes on hers and heat of their hands brushing against each other and knees touch a little. They are close she felt. Closer to where she felt to call him as her friend yet her cowardness was bigger than her courage to say out loud. She was afraid of rejection, deathly afraid. The reason why she never forward hand of friendnship to others first in fear of rejection or played. So, clearing her throat, ripping the tight silent air she sat up, rubbing her lips together.

"Would you like to go to a cafe ?" Breathing she meet his daze onyx, unfear of anything as he layed on the desk. "With me ?" It took her a back at his sudden proposal.

"Why ?" Her voice quiet.

"Because I want to". His simply words assure her afraid heart.

"When ?" Still averting eyes he manage to surprise her.

"Right now".

"Right now ?" Her words louder she quickly dart her sight to find no one. "So suddenly ?" She felt strange. A little funny inside her stomach.

"As I said, because I want to". He sit up. "So will you ?"

"Yes". (Y/N) agreed finding herself few minutes later at a little serene and cushy cafe. Few people drink away their peace, spending their time either in alone or sharing with another. Waiters with genuine smiles serve the orders, enjoying their lives too.

"So how are you liking it ?" His words snap her from her trance, tearing her eyes to look further and focus on him.

"Wonderful. Better than I expected". Truly she expected to be uncomfortable at a bustling or expensive cafe instead of a little cafe like this turn reality from children's fairytale. She didn't even know let alone pass a cafe called 'cutieeva'. Truly a befitting name for the sweetness.

"Glad to know that I did not disappoint you". He sip the drink he order and (Y/N) did too, fond of the aroma and the drink too much. Perfect after a stressful day. "Perfect after a stressful day isn't it ?" Like a magician he said her thoughts out loud. Wide her eyes slightly.

"Yes". Thoughtlessly she said yes, one sip of the drink when a thought pass her mind. A thought she desired to say yet afraid to be false.

"Did you choose it for...." She crease her voice. "me ?" She finished with a breath.

"Yes". His eyes on the tea. "I thought to see you not have winkles on your forehead sooner that's why I brought you here". The little thought touch her body to warm her even in the cloudy whether. To stranger she was, one of the million to him yet he cared of her mind more like a friend. She couldn't help feel special. His kindness win her trust little by little.

Day 5

SLAP !

The noise never fails to fuel her gulit and darkness little by little. Blaming her a part that it was her fault the poor boy was still receiving bullyin— no the word isn't severe enough. Abuse and violence he was getting. Why ? All because one person wants to vent on a living being, the weakest of the group. Her eyes dare look at him. The bloody face, painted in red. Drenched in strench. Plant in shame and laughed in misery. An unfair game it was. Adrien had no right to toy with someone's life, emotions, body. It simply shows he is the weakest of the group. People who can't control their immature feelings. People who toy with others are the worst and they are better off dead she believes because a human heart is fragile even though the thing stays inside hard bones of cage if hit too many times even the hardest cages break to be too late to save.

So, decide to be a braver person, better version of herself she find a white untained napkin in her bag. One step she took, the painful groan fill her ears.

Two steps. Their mocking laughs surround her vision.

Three steps. His face slammed on the metal like a bull.

Four steps. "(Y/N) !" A loud yell of her name tear her head to the direction. The voice of the owner was Cameron. The boy she never thought call her name out in front of all. Because their meetings kept within the walls of library and little glances exchange when met in passing each other. Never did one of them step forward to knowledge the other until now. It surprise her, she will be honest and the others too because Adrian's eyes on her now, a wicked smirk playing on his lips and those knowing eyes seem so odd, wrong.

"(Y/N), I was hoping would you like to go to cafe with me today ?" His proposal taken her a back again, a minute ago when their session finished not a word he utter and suddenly he says misleading words in front of others.

"Uh—". Too aware of scornful eyes of thousand, hush whispers and the light tower over her was so sudden she felt awkward, out of place. Still she said "Okay". Rejecting him in the spotlight would bruise his heart she knew was kind and soft also she adores his gentleman presence.

"Let's go then". Placing a hand behind her back (Y/N) felt was a gesture of comfort. They about to walk away.

A whistle made her turn her head not his. He kept his head straight. "Cameron forget our hangout ?" Another of his friend beside Adrian grin, too wide to be friendly yet too happy to be not. They were all too happy, she felt confusion not shy like she should because it remind her of her friendship where if her crush came near her, the other girls giggles, laugh and create all sorts of silly sounds. That was endearing not this, it felt like a insider joke she wasn't welcome.

But is it even a joke when Cameron wasn't laughing, his face serious. The first time she saw this face in her prescene so unlike of the happy, goofy ones. "I am not going". No looking back he walked, pressing his hand on her back to drag her feet away too.

"Dude ! Enjoy your date". The sentence made her blush yet the biting laugh wince her for some reason. Something feels unreal, wrong. She can't bring to put her finger on.

A nervous laugh she let out to break the tension. "They are funny". It seems to work, because a grin break out.

"They sure are". So he does love his friends, because he won't say that otherwise. They both reach the same cafe, sitting opposite of each other, sipping their drinks.

Pit. Pat. Pit. Pat.

The sounds of water always awaken a happiness within her. The louder the drops hitting the ground, the harder she could laugh, the harsher waters fall the smoother she felt. Perhaps this sterms from her naïve thought that even cloudes need to cry sometimes and that comfort her. That she wasn't alone, the sadness of clouds were there for her. Crying alongside her or simply crying to her, drowning the road away.

"Shall we leave then ?" The cup cleaned empty from how delicious it was and Cameron who always silly, goofy seem gloomy and silent. Maybe cloudy weather didn't comfort him, sunny must do because he looks alive on those days. Happy and charming as if even the sun was glowing for him.

"I would like to stay for few minutes". Tender at the edge his voice was, place the porcelain cup with a light click and continue to stare at the empty cup like thoughts minging inside him.

His face shadowed and the mute colors of the cloudes hid the sun away completely, turning the roads slippery with it's sadness. He looks sad. She thought and for the first time she realize how she comes to not like the rainy day, blaming it for him. When a idea plant in her head convincing her to stand up and go near the waiter.

Cameron for some reason can't stop lowering his gaze. From confusion or hatred he is unaware but he prefers to not meet her warm (E/C) eyes. Those intelligent and honest mirror of hers. The shade of her eyes unconsciously come to be his favorite. "Here". A little shuffle of plastic pass his ears and a cream white bun wrapped in a plastic came to his sight.

"Eat it. Whenever I feel sad. I always eat it, makes me happy. Eating food is a way to relieve stress for me". (Y/N) smiling ear to ear gave him, sit beside him for a support she knew was never said.

Hmm ? Tilt his head, Cameron hold the bun and he look at her finally meeting those very same eyes his heart skip beats for, race fast and he felt like falling in love again. Rainy days never made for him yet the drops of water seem serene with her.

His hand touch her hand, intertwining like pieces of puzzle. Her breath hitched. Intimate the touch felt and caress of his thumb seem an unspoken approval. Her eyes flicker to his lips to his clear eyes where her own self seem far beautiful than she was, as if looking at herself from his view where she is most beautiful of all. The onyx eyes drop to her lips and stayed, her lips part a little and suddenly she felt dry.

Doubts creep in the back of her mind. This is not what she precieve, right ? His face lean a little, the warmth of his hand overshadow the coldness of the rainy breeze. He rest his forehead on hers and gosh, the people, whispers, droplets of rain all went in vain, white noise. She suck her breath, a knot in her throat and funny her stomach felt not knowing what to do. First time she is closer to a boy before in her high school, or middle school only limited to lacing hands.

Does she want it ? The kiss ? He lean more, chocolate breath of his coffee caress her gently and she close her eyes. Scared and uncertain. The knot of her throat more tighten and the funny in her stomach vanish leaving her stomach empty.

His lips about to touch, his warmth about to spread on her lips too when CLASP ! (Y/N) flinch, fear her life turn away and find a waiter accidentally break a glass. Heart racing inside her cage so fast she is afraid it might break out and the knot in her throat become lighter and doubts flee away.

Quitely she dare look at him through her lashes and breath hitched to find him stare her already. Pulses of her beat race faster and before her heart could bust bloody she stood up. "A-actually I reme-mber I have something to do". Stuttering she took her belongings, lay her payment of order and left without hearing his reply. Too afraid, too awkward to hear anything.

Day 6

"He's late". Sitting alone at their library, waiting for him was scary because of how unknown she is to his feelings. She knew him only for days to know if he cross the boundary in heat of moment or genuinely like her in that way. A way she is unsure if she feels the same but if she didn't why let him kiss her ? Strange confusion is feeling. Uncertain both his returning and her feelings.

Leaning back on the chair, peeking at the open window to see the cloudy weather cowering the sun makes her heart ache a little. She liked the warmth of the sun, it's ray kissing her skin and light to her sight. How odd once a rainy lover comes to love the sun too ? Suddenly buzz of her phone startled her realizing their session end and her next period is about to begin.

(Y/N) curl her fingers to fist, dugging crescent moons on her palm. At least the physical pain will divert her from the doubts of him ran away. That he toss her, threw her like a used person or became a coward person to go hiding after attempt to kiss her. She doesn't know which is worse. Perhaps the latter because at least her heart rest to know he liked her enough to try kiss her not for fun.

She waited few more minutes. Watching the clouds thunder.

More minutes to watch the thunders turn to small droplets of rain.

More minutes for the cloudy to cry finally. Rain heavy to soak the earth with it's sadness.

"It's time". She decided glancing at the time. She risked to almost miss her class and now if she hurry enough her class won't be miss so she grab her belongings with reluctant.

TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP.

Following loud sounds of footsteps did her (E/C) eyes saw Cameron standing. Panting his breath and little soaked at the sleeve and shoes holding a small bouquet of flower.

"I am sorry. I am late. I miscalculated that how long my class held me so when I went to buy flowers, almost all the shops near were closed so when I went to far I didn't knew what time pass". (Y/N) saw his eyes averting at every second and blush red his ears as his hand forward the daisy in his hand. A symbol of first love for a girl she read one time.

"The reason I went to buy flowers because I want you to be my girlfriend and flowers were my first thought to propose with". Shy his voice was and gaze lowering so many often times she fears he will never look again.

Joyful laughter spread across the empty library causing the boy to look up and met with the scene he almost felt his heart stop. Her lips wide in happiness escaping sounds of joy and eyes almost close in bliss behind her the sounds of rain melt like an painting he swears she is the most beautiful girl.

"I would love to be your girlfriend". Smiling so wide her apple of cheeks hurt she strench her hand to accept the flower when yelp pass her lips and eyes wide feeling his fingers circle around her wrist, pull her to collid the lips they couldn't yesterday. A satisfied sigh left his lips while (Y/N) pause.

A furrow in her brows came when his tongue part her lips to slip and move their lips together, in a rhythm like a melody of a beautiful song that is only made for them. He tastes like chocolate she notice. He taste good, smell good with rain however a sense of unease silt her stomach as his lips hungrier, greedier and pulling their breaths closer than more possible. The soft kiss melt into desire with their teeth mingling and his tongue exploring her flesh, sucking and licking all inside she felt she suffocated and in split of desperation she pushed him, sucking breath to her lungs.

Cameron panting to breath whisper "I am sorry". Holding her body and resting his face to her crook of neck.

"It's okay". She wondered if all first kiss were this passionate and the fairytale kisses were lies.

"Is your class starting now ?" He stare at her. "Are you free ?" The hopefulness in his voice melt her heart that changed even her mind.

As something told her utter out the words she never knew would be uttering. "I do not have any". The smile in his lips was enough to satisfy the lie. A lie she didn't regret telling.

Day 7

"I was wondering something—". Sitting beside each other. (Y/N) continue to say. "—at our first day when professor Martin asked why were you there and you answered to study with your crush. Was that a lie ?" Or truth she left unspoken, fear to be false. His hand on her waist caressing.

"What do you think ?" He returned with a question, she narrowed her eyes playfully as he tenderly smile more.

"Lie ?" She wished for him to correct her.

"Yes. It was". He spoke hiding his face on her neck. Peppering small kisses. She bite her lips and curl her fingers in tense of the sudden affections but she question if he is telling her the truth.

Lost in thoughts she felt him kiss on her neck tailing to her chin and to her lips finally. She pulled away laughing learning how touchy he is. "You are clingy". A little intense too. He laughs.

"How can I not be when I have the girl I like in my arms ?" Flirtatious words deepen her tone of blush very much to the strawberry Cameron likes to eat.

"What a flirt". Pushing him away to have space she lean on the chair. The libray is empty and a relive fill her because she wish no one to see her like this.

"Cameron, What are you doing ?" Adrien voice stuck her in her root. Many other footsteps close the gap when they come from her behind.

"Hey !" He greet her and (Y/N) didn't spoke a word, keeping her eyes on Cameron. She hates violent people and he is one.

"What are you doing buddy ?" Another of his friend, William asked, darting his blue eyes between the couple.

"Date with your girl perhaps ?" Giggling the red haired girl said, Harper.

(Y/N) thought for a second whether their relationship is secret or not and she definitely wanted the latter because relationships are meant to be open and they are in collage so it shouldn't be a problem.

"Yes, I am his girlfriend. Nice to meet you". She said noticing how he is not introducing her nor laughing like he does. He is looking grim.

"Oh ! Girlfriend ?" William smirk, the snicker made her discomfort for some reason. "Nice to meet you too". He forward his hand to shake but Cameron slap it away.

"We will be going". He commented, taking her hand to drag her away from the group. From behind (Y/N) heard the laughter increase and she felt weird. Shouldn't they be upset instead of laughing ? And why is he dragging her away ? Was their relationship meant to be secret ? Is he angry ? Was she wrong to say out loud their love for each other.

"Cameron.." She stopped, that face. The same shadowed face scare her, afraid to snap him. His jaw clench, lips pressed thin and eyes clouded with unknown thoughts. He looks scary. She didn't ask at the end.

Day 8

Life in collage after having a boyfriend didn't change much. The same mundane early mornings, walking through the hallway to classes save for the open abuse. She wonder did Adrian got bored and toss him away, she hopes so for the boy's health going on her day to study. The another change was their meeting at library isn't for study solely rather to spend sweet little time where he is as intense and touchy. Bathing her in pure hearts, bringing foods to fill her hungry stomach, whispering flirtous words.

He is the perfect boyfriend she ever dreamed of. The perfection of the sun she fell for. She is more than happy to do the same that's why she remembers his favorite foods, surprise him with little token of loves, share interest together. Not a single second of their share time was bitter or sour. It was fill with such sweetness a candy couldn't even satisfy now.

She happily even told her parents who were elected to see their daughter dating a good man from the praises she sang of him and they are too happy to meet him if possible which Cameron says he will meet when the right time comes.

"Three".

"Two".

"One !" (Y/N) felt a surge of relieve seeing Cameron came right at time before professor could enter. She wave her hand a little to help him spot her where he smiles and sat next to her.

"Hi". He greets her putting his bag back on the side.

"Hi". She greets him back, smiling in adoration.

"Cinderella".

"Aren't they are the Cinderella couple ?"

"O my god ! That's so cool ! I root for her".

"Shut up ! It's not that serious dating, you idiot !"

"Yes, they aren't actually dating".

Cinderella. (Y/N)'s favorite Disney princess because of how Ella, the real name of her was full of kindness and silent resilient. So, after dating Cameron their relationship slammed into Cinderella felt more like a mock to her.

"What's wrong with people". She roll her eyes thinking are these students from middle school ? Calling a couple Cinderella simple based for the fact they see Cameron as a prince and her a pleasant. (Y/N) wasn't from a poor family, her family fairly wealthy than middle class and they were normal couple. The whispers of the name always follows her.

"It's okay (Y/N), do not pay attention". Calmly his palm pat on her back, meeting her eyes to smile and she returned in a smaller one. She knew Cameron hated it and their dating became so public after they met his friend group yesterday. The one to sprinkle gossip. Talk about rudness yet a relive met her mind at Cameron's openness about their relationship.

Professor entered the class and (Y/N) couldn't help but sneak her hand under his to touch and Cameron glance at her, a twitch on his lips before intertwining to her surprise. A smile couldn't stop blossoming as she lean and rest her body to him peeking to find a smile on his too.

Day 9

"Cameron, you know that I like you for you not for the gifts you give me everyday". Leaving a exhausted sigh she look at the fourth gift of their short relationship. A golden ring for her pinky finger and as much as it's endearing to see it's burdening as she was gifted unwanted and not needed things.

"But I like to seeing you in my things". Lifting the smile she comes to adore he hold the tiny ring and pull her closer to kiss, a slow and soft kiss. A kiss she prefers than those passionate ones when a grasp part her mouth and (Y/N) broke to find him slide the ring on her finger already.

Playfully she glare at him to return with cute scrunch on his face. "Such a silly fox". A fox she is not afraid to love.

Day 10

"Cameron". Gently her (E/C) eyes finds his, "Don't. Not in the library". Stern her voice she push the needy boy to complete the assignment last minute before summiting.

"Cameron !" Yet here he goes again, dragging the wooden chair, screeching the legs of wood against the floor to hold her waist and pepper kisses over her neck to cheek.

Discomfort churn her stomach and fear threat to discover by someone she quickly scan for any yet finding none didn't melt the unwanted touches. "Cameron, please not outside. Not public". Like a exhausted parent she glare at him, their discussion of her not finding comfort in public touch has been talked however he seems to can't keep his hands.

"How can I control ?—" Before any sweet words win her.

"You can control. You just don't". Smiling she spare one look to soak in her work feeling his shoulder slump and in defeat to only lean on her body. The sight of golden bracelet remind her of his another gift today. Giggily telling her it suits her.

In silence she wrote the lines her mind commands listening to the seren breathing of her boyfriend beside. "Hey !" Her pen pause and she look to met Walliam, one of the familiar faces. "Dating in secrecy ?" Amused he let out, eyeing the pair.

She felt Cameron sitting straight, the humor dissolved into seriousness she couldn't fathom.

"Leave". One word and a mystic glint flash in William's eyes.

"Why ?" Challenged he raise his eyebrow and (Y/N) see the palpable tension she wanted to question suddenly because she notice too frequently how the cryptics words exchange in their talks confuse her and when she tries to join, she was quickly pushed aside with a brush. It pained her as a part of her wants to befriend or at least know them.

Another fact that didn't change ick her is she still felt like a outsider to the group and a loner. The laugh—

"Fine. Dude, keep your girl". Snicker he break the tight eye-contact to gaze upon her only to laugh, the laugh she was thinking. A laugh biting and mysterious. They always do whether she merely pass by them or few times wave her hand in courtesy. For odd reason it unnerved her because if bunch of people laugh at one with no known humor in context is strange.

They are strange. The image of their perfect friendship seems to distort a little and Cameron does not seem to tell her.

"Do you like them ?" He look at her sudden question, seeing him leave. "You do not look happy to face them anymore". Her eyes wasn't blind, she never saw him with humor when they face.

"I do like them. It just..." He tailed off, his eyes low and voice sounds distant. "—complicated". Wanting to ask more to bear even a slight of his burden on her shoulder as well. She part her lips.

"Your homework is completed right ?" He quickly smiled, lit up to kiss her swallowing her words inside and she let him dislike to ruin the happiness.

Despite being discomfort to kiss in public.

Day 11

"I know. I know we are only dating for few weeks now. Or more like days but—". Her words halted keeping her doubts at bay to talk straight. "—I am very close with my family. We always talk about crushes, love very freely. My parents even says that loving someone shouldn't feel wrong if both parties are adult and consenting so from very young age I always shares my crushes and few boyfriends to my family who met them to know if the boy is safe for me to date—". She look at those unreadable eyes. "—you know not dating me for bad intentions". He nod and she isn't sure from his blank expression what displeasing thoughts were running in his head. She bite her lips, perhaps pressuring him was a bad idea after all. His comfort comes first.

"I am sorry. You don't have to meet them if you don't want to". She added, sitting silently on his bed in his dorm room and look down almost regretting everything when heels of chair screech across the floor and her sight meet his legs and his hand wrap her wrist and pull her to his lap.

She yelped at the unexpected action, her toes curl a little. He grin. "You know you look like an scared rabbit ?" Cooing her, he lean to kiss the corner of lips, fluttering the butterflies in her stomach. His petal lips light kiss on her lips before turn her body a little to press her against his body.

Her breath hitched, her breast touch his chest and nervousness spread her. It is her another time such close range to a boy and the way his kisses tail on her jaw to her collarbone while those charcoal eyes directly gaze her awaken heat under her skin.

She grasp his sleeves and lean away a little. "Not here. I am not ready". Truthfully she says.

"Why ?" His brows furrow. "Do not worry I will meet your parents. Sooner or later". His smile lift the sensual air, sliding his hand on her back in smoothing manner. "It's alright. Nothing will happen". His hushed voice assure her. She rest her head on his shoulder. Little guilty for stopping him but she doesn't want to be rash for his need. They have rest of their lives to wait. Or at least that's what she thought.

"By the way, be ready. I am taking you to date". (Y/N) smiles, nodding letting his touch stay.

Day 12

"That date was magical". She thought walking to the gates of university when her eyes caught the sight of a small flower shop and his proposal with flowers flash across her mind. "Why not I give him a flower now ?" The idea opened the doors of his surprise expressions so immediately glancing at her phone for the time realizing she has no period pick her pace to the shop.

She choose the simplest. White roses represent pure love, hope and new beginning, the definition of their relationship. Isn't it ideal ? Sniffing the crisp and clean scent remind her of his musky and traditional ones. Closing her eyes in bliss she begin thinking the path to the business hallway to surprise him with flowers. Of course in secret not in front of all.

Holding the little bouquet of white roses she peek to the windows of classes finding him at none. Confusion sink a little.

"I miss my boyfriend". One of the passing girl thoughtlessly shared.

"Your boyfriend William ? Where is he ?" Her assumed friend asked.

"Of course with his friends at the esport facility". The girl replied, sounding upset yet (Y/N) ears perk at the mention of the familiar name and at the place they are at.

"Bunking class ?" She chuckle not knowing he is the type to. Walking fast she look around to find the facility she went only once or twice with her classmates by the teacher for sports practice.

"Where it is ?" Her teeth sink into her bottom lips, standing near a door and eyes searching for the room.

"Hey Cameron, what game are you playing huh ?" (Y/N) jolted slight at her boyfriend's name called from behind and she turn her head to stare at the door behind.

"What do you mean ?" His smooth, soft voice asked. Her heart skipped.

"Stop beating around the bush and say it what game are you playing with that girl ?" A unfamiliar male voice irritated asked and she tilts her head in confuse. What girl ? Which girl ?

"What girl ?" Cameron glare at his friend, Leo.

"That girl you are recently dating from art class". Her heart skipping more feeling intrude into their private conversation yet the desire to hear what he really thinks of her grip her in her roots.

"What about (Y/N) ?" An exhausted sigh echo the room.

"Hey ! Buddy, you know what we are talking about ! Stop playing dumb". The harsh, horse voice of Adrian add. "We told you the bet was to date that girl and kiss her within five days. So why are you still doing hovering over her ?" The air around her turn cold and her feet and hands felt frosty.

What ?

"Yes, Cameron, are you trying to fuck her too ? That's why you are following her like a shadow ?" William's deep voice joked. Laugh vibrate in his chest and maybe the laugh was contagious because all joined in save for Cameron and Leo.

"Stop it ! The bet was to merely date and kiss her not to make her fall in love ! It's not a laughing matter when someone's feeling is in hand". Leo sounded agitated only to fuel their laughter.

"Leo ! Stop sounding like a fucking saint when you were the one to give the bet". Adrian tsk in irony, looking away from the group to the door.

"I know and I regret it". He answered back, sparing a look to Cameron who's choosing silence the entire time.

"I wondered if she is virgin because why else Cameron wants her so bad ?" William smirk, glint mischievous at earning Cameron's glare while Adrian furrow, making out someone's figure outside of the door.

"What wanna—". Another friend's voice cut off.

"Who's there ?" Adrian's shout causing all to look at the door. "Hey ! You outside !" (Y/N) jumped in cold sweat hearing the footsteps closing to near and near and near yet her body isn't hers to listen anymore.

She watched the door wide open meeting many pairs of eyes however her found Cameron's wide ones. Fear and panic in those onyx ones she only saw bashfull and confidence. Was that also an act to make her fall ?

"(Y/N) ?" His utter break the silence and Leo mutter fuck under his breath. The others forming smile at the new entertainment about to begin.

"(Y/N)" The name roll from Cameron's voice suddenly sounded bitter, distant. Like she was a stranger to him and he was to her. She wonder how she even manage to stood not run away like in the movies she watch ?

"(Y/N)—".

"I know you are dating me for love right ?" Words she didn't ponder to say escape. The white roses in her hand bend a little by her force of fist but she didn't care. She looked straight in his eyes and waited to hear the answer she knew was truth.

He likes her.

She knows. She knows he likes her. The bet must be somesort of joke that turned truth later, she believes he won't betray her trust in that way. She knows she is being dating because she is liked, loved. No way the adoration, love, smiles, flowers were lies. An illusion. An decoration to the prey to sink his fangs.

He must like her right ?

"I am—". She breath in relieve and the boys scoff in disbelief. "—now". Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Why the word now feels foreign, unheard and confuse word. What does he mean by now ? He didn't soak sleeves to propose with flowers for love ? He didn't try to kiss her for love ? He didn't bring her to cafe for her peace of mind ? He didn't call out her name in front of others for love ?

What does that mean ? What they were then ? If not girlfriend and boyfriend ? If not in relationship ? Because the reality of her faith in him was shattered by the single word. Now.

"Do you love me ?" He flinch and she thought why unaware her voice sounded cold.

"Yes. I do now—".

"Did you loved me ?" He wince again and she is thinking why ? When she should be the one in pain.

"Did you loved me ?" The guilt in his eyes should have been the answer but she wanted to prove the illusion wrong that he did loved her.

"Did you loved me ?" She repeated, her voice stronger than better. Harsher than previous.

"No". The root of grip over her body collapse and the trust for him shatter.

"Did you approach me solely due to bet ?" She asked once more, little crack at the end.

"Yes". The honesty she always like stings like a snake bite, poisoning all the reality she believed, lived in only to be shattered and realize how big of a fool she was.

The men in the room laughed a little. That same biting laugh and she realize another thing. They all knew. Not only the men but the others too, all the students knew. She was from the beginning jester to their sick joke. An outsider to the group. When she thought all were laughing with her turns out they were laughing at her.

And the orchestra was done by the one and only person she trusted and come to love. Her beloved boyfriend Cameron. She should have known no mortals are allowed to look at the sun directly. It burns their eyes, flesh and left nothing but ashes of burnt. She should have been better.

She turn her heels and walk. Walk straight to her dorm. Feeling the blaze of sun rays. Today the sun was pretty warm.

She layed on the bed. Unmoved, untouched and unlive too. Staring at the ceiling with her dry eyes. She thought why tears weren't comforting her when her heart was squeezing her to not breath anymore.

Ding !

(Y/N) stood up, livelessly went near the phone when the little bouquet of love. The white roses fell to the ground silently. She watched them and in errie slow way she crounched down. The white wrapper around them fell apart, the bunch of roses draft from one another. Her fingers touch the green stem.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

The delicate thorn of the stems nicked her finger accompany with the sting of pain and drops of ruby hue fell to the group. As silently as the flowers. Her head title, staring at the errie blood on her fingers, not a hiss left her lips. The pain was for a second, light yet.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

Finally the tears in her eyes roll down her cheeks. Quiet salty tears swell up however sudden little whimper form in her lips turning to sounds of pain as she begin crying out loud. Louder and louder and louder the cry become.

"It hurts. It hurts". She whimper and for some reasons it was not the pain in her fingers and she hated to acknowledge the real pain. She wanted to believe in the illusion she thought was her reality.

"It's hurts. It really really hurts". She wail, fat tears one after another falling down and ears plumbing hard to not let her hear anything.

Why ? Why ? Why he played with her ? Why he do that ? She really, really loved him. His smile was sweet, his laugh was louder, the daisy was beautiful, his embrace was warm. He became her many things she liked.

Even if the days they bond was short, the feelings were deeper than the days. Why ? Why did he do all those ? Just for a bet ? If so why was he so honest there ? He could have lied and she like a fool in love believed him. She totally could have.

Wailling alone. In the cold room despite the sweeping of sun rays. She stare at the white roses. A represention of pure love, hope and beginning along sorrow and regret she forget.

Suddenly the door of the room bust open, she couldn't care. The pain was becoming unbearable by passing second when a strangled grasp left her lips upon the touch of a pair of hands around her frame.

The touch was too familiar it was nausea.

"I am sorry, I am sorry (Y/N) for doing that to you. I am sorry. I am really really sorry (Y/N). Believe me I am". Cameron hug her tighter and she cried harder.

"I am sorry. I love you. I do love you (Y/N)". The special words of love instead of touching her, fluttering her heart turn her stomach.

"I love you. Believe me. You must believe me". He let her go and cup her soaked face, staring into the pained (E/C) eyes. "I love you. Yes, I approach you with motive but believe me I fell for you in the process. Look if I didn't love you then I wouldn't brought you the flowers, get wet in rain, spend half of my time with you and bring you to the cafe". He in desperate voice told her.

"I love you. You are my first love (Y/N), my first and only one. You made me fall for you". (Y/N) sobbing look at the stranger in front and sniff.

"H-how can I believe you ?" Cameron froze. He stare at her, those teary ones, the reason of her pain.

And connect their forehead. "Think about it (Y/N), if I didn't love you so much would I still date you even after we kissed ? If I didn't love you would I have still dated you ? Think about it. If I didn't love you shouldn't I throw you away ? I loved you and took care of you. Always thought of you". (Y/N) sob halted and her numbed mind thought of the sense of his speech.

"If I didn't love you I wouldn't chase after you and hug you so dear to my arm ?" Now she couldn't stop thinking how good he treated and loved her. Yes, late but at least loved her right ? If their relationship wasn't a love story then what ? Of course it was love right.

She loved him a lot. And seeing him in his knee cradling her makes her forgive him, give him a second chance. "Will you be my girlfriend again ?" It was an unspoken break up.

"Yes". She didn't want to lose him so she said yes slipping the consequence of her mistake because even if he loved her, late. The pain and the scars were already dug too deep.

He hugged her tightly in happiness. She really didn't want to lose him but how could she differentiate the lies and truth drop from his lips when it was the same lips approach her with deceit.

Also if he loved her then why did he not notice the drops of blood yet ? Or he doesn't care enough to.

𝑻𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒖𝒆𝒅

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