ethereal-ebullience-blog

[ethereal-ebullience-blog]

I’m so proud of myself for making it through the week. I’m proud of you, too.

[ethereal-ebullience-blog]

You Hold My Heart

A sort-of sequel to To Love Another Person Is To See The Face Of God

Word Count: 1049

A soft breeze fluttered through the trees, soft leaves fell slowly to the ground below. The sun shone bright, its warmth spreading and illuminating the darkest of places. Rosalind sighed softly, enjoying the serenity of the moment. Her mind was busy, images flicker through, soft hands, loving smiles, caramel skin and eyes brighter than the stars. She missed Beatrice, though she had not been gone for long and had promised a quick return, she couldn't help the ache that had made a home in her heart.

   Sleep escaped her that night, not being able to rest without the warmth of her girlfriend beside her. Girlfriend, Rosalind's lips twitched upward at the thought, she had a girlfriend. For someone who has been around as long as she had, forming heartfelt connections had always been something dangerous, something bound to bring suffering, Beatrice was anything but. Beatrice was peace and joy and sunshine, wrapped in smooth skin and soft features. Rosalind tried her best not to get attached but, soon after they met she knew there was no hope. Beatrice was intriguing, she was not put off by Rosalind's appearance, her pale skin and visible veins, her swirling tattoos that spring and coil with every movement; according to her girlfriend she was gorgeous, an otherworldly sight she said she was blessed to even see. Rosalind knew Beatrice was just flattering her because she knew she could get away with it but, unlike the other times she had experienced this kind of attention, Rosalind couldn't help the blush that spread to her face, she had ducked her head to try and hide it but, knew by the soft laugh from Beatrice, she had failed. 

Another memory floats to the surface, Beatrice had woken before her, the cave doing nothing to hide the streams of light that had decorated the walls. She wasn't as educated on what plants were edible but, she had thrown together a nice breakfast consisting of mostly berries. Her honey voice had woken Rosalind from her sleep, "Rosa, darling," she said, "Get up before the berries go bad."

   Rosalind mumbled something, still groggy from sleep, Beatrice had laughed, a soft feathery sound that sent her heart into disarray. When she had opened her eyes to see the sight before her, she had melted, never experiencing such strong feelings before, the world around her turned rose-tinted as she watched Beatrice, her hair a mess, berry-stained, and rosy-cheeked, dance around their makeshift kitchen, light-footed and graceful and humming an unknown tune. Rosalind had grabbed the bowl from Beatrice when she swayed by, still humming, eyes bright, and Rosalind has never fallen before but, this, the sun shining, the sweet smell of flowers and a rose-tinted girl, this is what love must be. 

   Before she headed out, Rosalind had made Beatrice a gift, a small piece of wood where she had carved a single forget-me-not flower, painted in a soft hue of the nicest blue she could find. She doubted that Beatrice knew the true meaning behind the gift, the love and hope that radiated from the simple wood but, when Beatrice had looked at it, wide-eyed and happy, all smiles and dimples, before tucking it into the breast pocket of her blouse, right above her heart, before giving her a sweet kiss, Rosalind knew it didn't really matter. 

   While Beatrice was away, visiting family, she said, Rosalind took a walk. Wandering through her old paths. They were lonely as she had not visited them for quite some time, the fauna leaned towards her, questions flowing form them in a thick haze. She smiled politely knowing her excuse of love would mean nothing to them. She soon found herself at the fountain, the statues of the Gods had yet to crack or crumble despite their age. They no longer judged her as they once did, she felt the faintest sensation of pride, as if she had done what she was meant to do. Rosalind lingered as she looked at the monuments, her tattoos came to a still on her arms. The statues hadn't changed but, they had an air of difference around them. Rosalind squinted at them, her eyes darkening at the unfamiliarity. She soon relaxed, brushing off her nerves, as she had been on edge about everything lately.        She moved on getting lost among the brush; she listened to the woods, it had felt neglected lately, a wave of dull anger made the air simmer around her and she dismissed it, not feeling like fighting with trees again. The animals rushed by her and they spewed stories without order, their neediness for attention making them careless and loud. Her head pounded, sharp pain flickering behind her eyes and she regretted the idea of a walk. Rosalind made her way back to her cave, her home, deciding that a drink of water and a quick nap would make her feel more at ease.    The serene feeling of her home was unlike anything she had experienced before, she had lived rather aimlessly before meeting Beatrice, she had been alone, been bitter. Nothing seemed to matter as nothing had mattered before; meeting Beatrice, making a home, it was new, it was nice, and a couple of days later when she saw Beatrice, sweet smile, soft hair, content and love radiating off of her, bouquet of wildflowers in hand, she knew nothing would ever compare to this.      The warmth that had pooled in her stomach, the light flowing through her veins, the smell of peaches and flowers making her heart flutter and her tattoos jump. The feeling of home she got when wrapped in her arms, a kiss to her forehead a quiet greeting and a quieter I love you, it made her want to laugh, it made her want to cry, overwhelmed by such intense feelings, it made her want to scream to the world, ask why it had taken so long for her to be happy. Rosalind knew how quickly her infatuation had come, she knew feelings usually took time to develop but, Beatrice tracing her skin, her golden eyes, her smile, her softness, her compassion, her love, it was all-consuming, she was Rosalind's world, she was her home. And she wouldn't trade it for anything.

[ethereal-ebullience-blog]

Among the Universe

Warnings: Mention of Death

Word Count: 734

I want to exist among the stars, swirling throughout the atmosphere, exploring the nothingness that they live in. I want to exist with the hope that all will be well, even if beauty such as theirs doesn't last forever. I want to feel the scorching heat of their blinding light as my body turns to ash. I want to experience the creation of destruction as my world burns around me. Let me know what the stars know; share their infinite wisdom, the likes that would cause my mind to shatter and seep through the cracks of my facade. I want to burn among the myths, among the gods, who will scoff at my futile attempt to be remembered. I want to live forever, yet die young, like stars, like myths, like destruction.

I want to exist among the darkness; among what surrounds us and swallows us whole. I want to sink into the icy embrace of emptiness, rest among the dead and forgotten. I want to send a shiver down peoples spine, their hair standing straight. I want the unearthly creatures that lurk there to be proud of me. I want to overflow with false confidence, oozing blind arrogance, hoping that I am superior. I want to crumble and shutter at even a glimmer of light. I want people to fear me but seek my presence in times of need.  I want to be forgotten quick, leaving no legacy, no trace of my existence. I want it to be over quick but full of pain.

I want to exist among the mist and the foggy feeling of doubt. I crave the animosity that it has, the unknown but, not unwanted presence of safety and insincerity. I wants to dance along with the wisps of cool air. I want mystery and the aching feeling of distrust. I want to feel paranoia sink into my veins as I decompose, as I question whether I lived up to my purpose, my potential. I want to curl up and disappear, vanishing the moment the sun rises, but leaving a distinct feeling. I want people to realize that I was there only to forget it moments later. I want to live in the cool dampness of clouds, floating, not a care in the worlds.

I want to exist among the dead. I want to waste away with the fear of missing out. I want to crumple and shrivel with memories of a long forgotten past. I want to to turn to dust that will mingle with the essence of others. I want to go out with a bang, something that will last; something that will change the world but no one will remember why it happened of who I was. I was to exist among the knowledge, the creativity, the ignorance of fallen kings, fallen poets, fallen people who existed long before me. I want to fade into history, only vague ideas, long over told stories and unexplained pity my only remnants.

I want to exist among the chatter of people. Among awkward encounters and easy conversations. Among love and lust, loss and gain. Among the feeling that we all fall victim to time after time. I want to exist with the faintest touch, the smallest smile, the longing and hatred  and excitement. I want to be alive, existing among the many amazing people of this time. I want to watch the world change, fuelled by the anger of the youth, the demands of ones who fight for what is right, who have lots to learn and are willing to grow. I want fire to fill my soul, consuming me with righteous passion. I want to thrive.

I want to exist among the cryptids. No one sure if I actually exist. I want people to fight over me, ideas and beliefs clashing. I want to exist among the music. Filled with emotion, either always wanted or needed; soothing even the sorest of wounds. I want to exists among the heat of the sun, the paleness of the moon, the depths of the sea, the eternalness of the earth. I want a form not limited to simple pleasures and easy displacement. I want to know my purpose, my potential, my future. I want to be everything I could be and more. I want to people to know me. I want to exist. I want to live. I want to feel.

[ethereal-ebullience-blog]

The Empty

Trigger Warning: Death, Implied Suicidal Idealizations. Loneliness 

      The ocean is vast, almost endless; the murky depths hold wisdom beyond our perception. The ocean holds reflections of days long past, of the sky above it, of you and all your inhibitions. The ocean holds the stars, the rays of sunlight, the shine of the moon, the ocean holds them close, cradles them in its cool embrace. The sky is endless, going on forever, witnessing everything that happens, remembering everything that has already past. The sky aches, it shivers, and shakes, and moans and cries; cries out for something constant, something it can hold, something that will last. The sky is empty, and cold, and so very alone, detached from the world. The sky is alone and knows it will continue to be so. The sky is silent and dying to break down.

      The earth is solid, holding everything, preserving memories of ancient times. The earth is alive, feeling every crack and bump, every ache and tear. It has heavy secrets, dark tales and an endless supply of stories, the earth shares them all. The earth is passionate, making art with a simple breeze, bringing joy with simple colours. The universe is beautiful, always expanding. Stars twinkle, galaxies glow, planets swirl. The universe knows of its beauty, its radiance. It knows how people worship the stars, the galaxies, the planets and it laughs.

      You stand in the center of it all, soft waves lap at your ankles. The universe swirls around you. Starlight dances along your fingertips, the fire of the sun lingers in your heart, filling you to the brim with warmth, the moon catches your eye, its soft presence enveloping your mind, soothing your worries. You take a deep breath as the water slowly rises, before stopping just above your knees. The stars glimmer in the water, turning the deep blue to a liquid silver. For once you feel content, you feel at home. Among the unsung chaos is where you find yourself, your purpose, your life. It's cool where you stand, a soft breeze ruffles your hair and you feel the water snake around your legs.

       The remaining tension melts from you as you finally relax and though you are content, you are also sad. A type of dull sadness that leaves you feeling empty inside, that makes every breath ache, every movement brings a pang of pain. You feel tired, exhaustion sweeps into your veins, and you collapse to your knees, ignoring the splash of the icy water. You gaze at the horizon, the sun long gone, taking it's warmth with it and pain sinks into your joints. Tears well in your eyes, a harsh breath breaks loose, all feelings of peacefulness vanish in an instant. You feel painfully alone, all you want is a touch of warmth, a sign of familiarity, anything to help, anything you can hold onto. The ocean catches your tears, a sob rips through your body and you curl in on yourself. Your skin is cold, icy against your eyes.

        You slowly collect yourself, the ache of loneliness stays and realization hits you like a train. The loneliness isn't new, the want of a constant, the gnawing need of someone has always been there. It's confusing, you've never minded being alone, preferred it actually. You were never good at making friends, and frankly, people annoyed you and you were fine with this. The pain that you felt now, feeling like it would never dull or waver, that feeling has never been there before. But it has, suppressed beyond belief, it's always been there, flickering in and out of your thoughts, resting in the back of your mind. You look at your hands, eyes tracing the lines and scars that litter them, nothingness swells in you and you are swallowed.

        Waves surge over your head, the light of the moon above fades into nothing but a small dot as you are dragged deeper into the depths. Air leaves your lungs and your arms shoot out out of instinct, but your mind stands still. Despite the cries of your lungs, and the numbness of you limbs, you can't bring yourself to panic or care. You sink further, no longer being pulled by the currents. Faint feelings or disgust and guilt pool in you, before dying. You are at rest. Finally at peace. But even that won't last.

[ethereal-ebullience-blog]

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it a-fuckin-gain:

Stop 👏🏾 giving 👏🏾 up 👏🏾 on 👏🏾 ideas 👏🏾 just 👏🏾 because 👏🏾 someone 👏🏾 else 👏🏾 did 👏🏾 it 👏🏾 before 👏🏾 you

[ethereal-ebullience-blog]

She Can’t

Honestly the trashiest thing I've ever written but i gotta vent somehow

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Mentions of suicide attempt, in depth suicidal idealizations, implied self-harm, swearing

Word Count: 909

A heavy weight settled in her, emotions dull and slow as they swirled through her. People around her laugh, waving their hands enthusiastically as they go over a story everyone's heard before, she tries to focus, tries to play along with what people expect of her. She's tired, tired of getting  up, tired of not knowing, tired of the dullness and the hopelessness.She crosses her legs under the table, focusing on the sharp pain that dances along her thighs as she does so, she tries to ground herself,doing everything that she can remember to bring her back to the here and now. She can't, not today anyway.

Days trickle by slowly, her mind stays sluggish. She looks down at her hands and runs her fingers over the scars that litter them, the scars that she put there. She should feel ashamed, she thinks, lasting scars, harsh pink and made with desperate nails. She can't bring herself to feel anything. She's used to being tired, used to being distracted, used to the ache she gets when she's around people she should consider friends. It doesn't make it easier, doesn't make it feel better. That night she breaks down in the shower, her social life is crumbling in front of her, the tension between her and others is palpable, her home life doesn't feel much better; parents who make her feel bad for being who she is, for knowing people, for existing. She cries, sobs muffled by the falling water and the music within the room.

She hates herself,loathes every inch of her body and mind. She can't picture living past this year let alone the rest are her expected life. She hates that she can't just hang herself in the woods by her house, because then who would take care of her dog. She thinks about college, how she'll probably off herself then, she'd be alone, no one around that cares, no dog, no nothing. She hates herself, despises her lack of motivation, of passion, of everything. Hates that she can't pull it together for one god damn day. She tries to drown it out with music,with books and writing and T.V. Everything telling her it'll be okay,everything will get better, she doesn't believe is, she can't. She hates it.

Days pass and soon she sitting in an office, her and her therapist sitting on the carpeted floor, playing Jenga and talking about the past weeks and how she's been feeling. He lets her talk about things, interests and she doesn't feel like she's wasting his time, it's nice. After a while he asks her about her thoughts, if she had any ones about suicide of self-harm, and if she's done anything like that. She says no, a small smile on her lips betraying how she aches when the lie falls from her lips. She won't talk about it, she can't. She knows he can help, that he is the one and only person she knows who can help, but she can't. She can't and it hurts.

Everything is awful and it shouldn't be. She's young, only in her second year of high school, she has a great family that she loves and a house over her head, and a warm bed and food and water and everything she could want. She has no reason, no right to feel this way, no reason to want to die and she hates it, hates everything, because it's all awful but it's not and she knows that it's just that everything feel bad,everything feels sad, and angry and dull.

She doesn't know how much longer she can take this. She can't handle the people, the dullness, the lack of everything she should feel, lack of passion,lack of motivation, lack of happiness. She doesn't know when she'll snap but it can't be far along, she wants to scream, at her supposed to be friends who keep trying but will always fail because there no common denominator between them, at her mom who thought getting her a dog would magically solve all her problems, at her dad who doesn't seem to care that his only daughter tried to kill herself, at her brother because he's hurting too and she doesn't want him to go through anything that she is, and at herself because she needs to stop being so fucking selfish and just get over herself because people are sick and tired of her shitty attitude and she needs to stop being mean to people who don't deserve it.

She lies in bed and thinks, about life and purpose and death. She knows life is precious,knows that everyone has potential, she knows it, she does. But whats the purpose of life if you can't feel it. She can't anymore, can't do it, she can't, she can't, she can't, she can't. She doesn't want to feel this way anymore, doesn't want to feel at all, she just wants everything to stop, everything to go away, she wants to be left alone, she wants no one to care about her like she knows they do.Them caring about her makes this so much harder. She can't she can't she can't she can't. She stands around dull and depressed wishing she could go through with it, a rope, a knife, another bottle of pills. Its so easy,too easy and she wants to but she cant, she can't, no matter how fucking much she wants to.

[ethereal-ebullience-blog]

Vox Nihili

Original

Word Count: 1221

     I stare at the edge of the forest. Tall trees loom before me, casting long shadows in the light of the setting sun. I shiver and tug at the sleeves of my sweater as the cool air settles around me. Mountains litter the landscape, scraping the sky with their peaks. I sigh, trying to relax as I take in the sunset. The warm lights paint the sky bright colours making the world around me glow with a rosy hue. Glancing around me, I watch as fireflies emerge, they dance through the open air making it look like the stars had fell to the Earth. I take a deep breath, the crisp air filling my lungs and I feel the tension melt from my shoulders as I begin my journey into the woods.

     I head towards the closest mountain, taking my time and walking as slow as I could as to not each my destination quicker then I wanted too. I knew that at the base of the mountain people would be waiting for me, people that my Mother had sent to help me despite my many protests. Besides, they couldn't help, not with this problem anyway. I take in the scenery around me, the dark trees sway lightly in the breeze causing leaves to flutter to the ground, the last light of the sun weaves its way through the maze of foliage, briefly illuminating my path before sinking into the horizon. The only sound is my footsteps, which travel through the otherwise quiet forest.

      When I reach the base of the mountain, I am greeted by a small group of people like I expected. There are three of them, none looking ready to climb a mountain. They're decked out in jeans, heavy boots and grossly large bags.  I walk past them heading for the start of the climb and nod in greeting, they quickly introduce themselves and follow behind me. It's interesting to have people with me, not a complete waste like I originally thought it would be, I start light a conversation with them still trying to sort out my thoughts. It's nice to have people to talk to, regardless of how awkward I am.

     Throughout the hike we take short breaks, I try to take my time, not wanting to get to the top too early but the others press on and, despite their lack of proper attire they have better stamina than I and never stop for long. We continue on quietly, I contemplate why my Mother sent them, this problem was more of a me thing, I wanted to sort it out with no external judgment to change my opinion. It wasn't terrible that they were here, they have extra water when I need it and what looks like plenty of snacks as well as a flashlight to light up the darkness of our path. I wonder how much they know about why they are here and what they would do if they didn't know and then found out. I focus on my surroundings, there was no time to spiral down that hole.

       Soon enough we reach the top. I move to the front to the group and walk to the edge of the peak.      I look up at the sky, it's a clear night, not a cloud in sight. We are far from any town or city and the world is dark around us but the stars twinkle brightly above and my mind get sucked into the swirling abyss that I've done nothing but avoid since I started this journey. The others are quiet behind me and appear to be setting up some blankets they've pulled from their bags. I continue to stare at the sky above me, I think back to everything that's lead me here, everything that's brought me to this moment in my life. A sort of hollow feeling fills my chest as my truth settles in  around me.  It's not surprising, I kind of expected it actually, but that doesn't make this any less chilling, “What are you thinking about?” One of the others ask, a sweet girl, who introduced herself as Eva.

     I hesitate, “I don't really know how to explain it.”

     Alec, another one of the group, a quiet boy with a stone cold expression, spoke up, “How about you start from the beginning.”

   I pause a moment before settling down at the edge of a blanket, “I've always been into learning about why people think or act the way we do, mostly from a philosophical point of view. Why we like art and what art is or whether we have free will or not,” I pull my knees to my chest feeling uneasy at the looks the others were giving me, “But, recently I've thinking about purpose, if we as a race have any and if so what it could possibly be. I decided to come up here, the quiet helps me think and nothing helps me contemplate my existence more then looking directly into the emptiness that is space. Anyway, I've come to a conclusion that we don't have a purpose. Not really anyway, the world was made in an explosion and we evolved from that, nothing and no one put us here for a reason. We as a society have put pressure on ourselves to find a greater purpose in life then just us, bigger then just our daily lives bigger then anything any of us could actually accomplish. And the human race has come so far as a race, as a society but it's ultimately meaningless in my eyes. With no greater purpose we seem so small in the vastness that is our universe.”

    “That's, um, really depressing.” Asa, the other person in the group, muttered.

    “There might not be a bigger purpose to life,” I rush to explain myself, I didn't drag them all the way out here just to depress them, “But we as people can create our own purpose for ourselves, we can do whatever we want in life without feeling like we aren't committing to our 'real' purpose because there isn't one. So, yeah, we don't have a real purpose as a race but we can still have a purpose to exist and it can be whatever you want it to be. Now, don't get me wrong, the abundance of freedom we have is terrifying but I wouldn't dwell on that let alone let it stop you.”

     They stare at me blankly, “Okay,” Eva breaks the silence, nodding absentmindedly, “That's...something.”

      The others nod in agreement. I stare back at them, before bursting into a fit of poorly concealed laughter, “This is so weird.” I wheeze out, “I never expect to go on a philosophical rant in front of people I don't even know.”

       They smile at me, and a thought hits me. This isn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be, sitting at the top of a mountain with people I had just met, all laughing in the face of the universe, nothing but the stars above to give us light, and the ground below to give us hope.  It's relaxing, a type of serenity falls over us like a blanket, enveloping me in a warm comforting hug and I know I'm where I should be.  

[ethereal-ebullience-blog]

To Love Another Person Is To See The Face Of God

Original

Word Count: 1061   

        Tattoos swirled up her arms, their symbols unknown to man, they writhed over her shoulder flowing onto her back . She prowled through the woods, glancing listlessly at the nearby animals. A heavy fog settled in around her and the sun shone brightly overhead, cloaking her in an ethereal glow. The trees swayed gracefully, emerald leaves dancing in the light. Her dark eyes swept across the forest, softening when nothing appeared to be wrong. Flowers sprung from dark crevices, spreading colour where there once was none, they shimmered and swayed calling out for her, she leaned in and they whispered tales of woe and courage, of love and hate, of light and dark, of forever lasting tales of life. At the end she thanked them with a teary smile and bid them farewell. Dragonflies flew around her head, calling her name, they flickered, ones that were there suddenly gone, before new ones appeared, their iridescent wings gleamed in the light, and in a blink they were suddenly gone.  The fog curled around her, pushing her on her way, she carried on her path glancing up at the millions of stars, at the swirling galaxies that reflected in her eyes, she held their knowledge close to her heart, through life and death, through heaven and hell the stars remained with her, always by her side, guiding her on her eternal path.

            A pair of crows swooped overhead, settling by her side, they told her jokes, and stories of soon to come adventures, men and women believing they are better then the rest, setting off on a quest they think they can survive. People who think they are gods, ones who can do anything with out any repercussions, who think they will never die. And, she has to admit, it's as if they never do, their tales being passed down through generations. She scoffs as the crows tell her of a brave young warrior who tried to defeat the sphinx himself, not just by answering a silly riddle, but by trying to kill the immortal beast, they failed and condemned themselves to an eternity of Hell. What fools humans could be.

        Ahead of her now lay a fountain, the birds fly off, going to find someone else to tell their never ending tales too.  Marble statues grace the edge, they depict the heroics of long dead gods, fighting off long dead monsters, saving humanity from themselves, and being worshiped. She is at her prime as they once were, she does not help humanity, knowing they will always end up back where they started, ignorant and angry. She almost feels guilty, knowing some of the old gods would be ashamed of her. Stuffing the feeling deep inside her, she sits at the edge of the fountain and glances in, her almost translucent skin, makes it easier to see the bronze veins that run through her body. She runs her hand through the water obscuring her reflection, smiling at the ripple effect.

         A drumming sound fills her ears and she sighs, struggling to ignore the call. Her tattoos writhe as if feeling a type of phantom pain and are trying to curl in on themselves to help ease the pain. A cry echo's through the forest, silencing nature. The stars burn above her, leaving a hollow feeling in her chest. She stands slowly, gliding silently through the trees, who were eerily quiet. Something was wrong, no one was supposed to find this part of the woods, it was shrouded in a mist, one so thick and dense that any who looked in would see nothing, and only hear the sounds of creatures not like their own. No one besides her, not even the other spirits dared to venture this far. She hid in the shadows of the trees, their shade obscuring her.

           Soon she came across the cause of the cry, a young women, clutching her side with red stained hands, she laid on the forest floor, tears falling down her face. The woman's hair was in disarray, the dark locks tangled and full of leaves, mud smeared on her arms, her legs littered with scratches. She felt as if someone had punched her in the gut, an overwhelming feeling of empathy filled her, she did not help humanity but, one human? She swept over, carefully lifting the bruised women in her arms and carried her off to somewhere safe, she smelt faintly like peaches and mint and a new feeling wormed it's way into her heart, how could a mortal make her feel like this. The woman's eyes opened, a startling, bright honey brown. She groaned in pain, her head lolling to the side, "Thank you."

     It was whispered so softly she wasn't sure if she actually heard it. She glanced down at the woman in her arms, "My name is Rosalind, you need not worry. I will make sure you're okay."  

    The woman smiled faintly, "I'm Beatrice."

       Rosalind soon came across a small cave, safe from any external elements. She set Beatrice down and frowned slightly at the now unconscious woman. She grasped a handful of nearby yarrow and spring water, and started to clean and dress the wound. When finished she sat closely by, waiting. Soon the sun began to set, its warm colours coating the world around them in a cozy hue, Rosalind felt a sudden, consuming power come from the rays of light, she smiled, silently thanking whoever was helping.

         Everything was going to be fine, she leaned over, brushing a stray strand of hair out of Beatrice's face, her tattoos swirling around her fingertips, and back up her arms. A lightness settled in her and she felt calm, a sense of happiness swirling around her. Once again everything was at peace, stray animals came and checked on her, dropping off what food they could spare, mostly berries and herbs. A couple dropped off flowers, which Rosalind used as decoration, laying them throughout the cave and making sure they never wilted. Days filtered in and out slowly before Beatrice woke up, bright eyes and a brighter smile, with warm skin and honey coated words. Rosalind laughed at something she said, hoping her voice was just as sweet. She stared at Beatrice, soaking in the warmth of her beauty and knew that this was meant to be, that this was fate.

[ethereal-ebullience-blog]

Angst/fluff Prompt List

Please don’t repost (stealing isn’t cool, but reblog if you wish) <3 <3

“I love you, please don’t go.”

“Stay here tonight.”

“Please don’t walk out of that door.”

“I thought things were going great.”

“Don’t you love me?”

“You make every day worth living.”

“I’ll keep you warm.”

“I’m never letting you go.”

“You meant too much to me.”

“I won’t let you.”

“How could you ask me that?”

“Don’t you trust me?”

“I won’t let anyone hurt you, you’re safe with me.”

“You look amazing tonight.”

“Shouldn’t you be with him/her?”

“I’ve got you.”

“I can’t sleep, can I stay here?”

“It’s late.  Shouldn’t you be asleep?”

“How are you feeling today?”

“You look amazing tonight.”

“We’ll figure this out.”

“This isn’t goodbye.”

“What’s cookin’ good lookin’?”

“Wanna go grab a drink?”

“What the hell were you thinking?!”

“Here, let me help you.”

“Kiss me.”

“I care about you.”

“You could have warned me!”

“That was unexpected.”

“You haven’t lost me.”

“Why are you doing this?”

“Don’t cry.”

“Please don’t do this.”

“You make me feel safe.”

“You’ve shown me what love can feel like.”

“Thank you, for everything.”

“All I wanted was for you to be happy.”

“I can’t do this on my own.”

“I wasn’t lying when I said that I loved you.”

“Don’t be afraid.”

“You’re always on my mind.”

“You have no idea how much I want you right now.”

“You’ve always felt like home.”

“I can’t imagine this world without you.”

“Dance with me.”

“Trust me.”

“Why are you crying?”

“Who hurt you?”

“Nothing is wrong with you.”

“You make me feel alive.”

“I wouldn’t change a thing about you.”

“Who cares about what they think?”

“Let’s go.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“Tell me what’s wrong.”

“You’ve always got me.”

“I’ve waited for this moment for a long time.”

“Is this okay?”

“You look like you could use a hug.”

“Did you need something?”

“Do you have a ride home?”

“I am home.”

“What happened back there?”

“That’s not gonna happen.”

“Why me?”

“I’m right where I belong.”

��Fine.”

“What do you want me to say?”

“After everything we’ve been through, you still don’t think that I love you?”

“You’ve been drinking tonight, haven’t you?”

“You need sleep.”

“Excuse me?”

“What are you doing?”

“What did you expect?”

“You’re not alone.”

“We’re meant for each other.”

“You’re worth it.”

“I don’t care what anyone else thinks.”

“I’ve always been honest with you.”

“It’s cold, you should take my jacket.”

“Just breathe, okay?”

“When I’m with you, I’m happy.”

“Going somewhere?”

“Don’t lie to me.”

“Don’t be scared, I’m right here.”

“You’re so adorable.”

“I’m better, now that you’re here.”

“I could never forget you.”

“Forget it.”

“That’s in the past.”

“You make me happy.”

“You’re more than that.”

“I won’t lose you too.”

“Come cuddle.”

“Can’t you stay a little longer?”

“It’s not that easy.”

“I’ve had enough.”

“I fell in love with you, not them.”

“You’re the only one I wanna wake up next to.”

[ethereal-ebullience-blog]

Greek Myths - Apollo

Poseidon/ Hermes/ Pan/ Dionysus/ Ares/ Hades/ Zeus

Goddess Series

[ethereal-ebullience-blog]

Inevitabilis Mortis

Original

Word Count: 579

       He wandered among the stars, drifting forever among the swirling colours. He glanced at the endlessness around him his dark eyes seeming to look on forever, if one were to focus hard enough they would notice the emptiness in them, for all that he had seen had sucked the life out of him. Everything was much too large, much too unpredictable for him to feel safe, everything was too much that he no longer felt significant. The constant anxiety gnawed at his heart, the endless bouts of depression tore at his soul crushing any hope left of feeling okay again. Alec sat among the darkness, bruised hands sitting peacefully in his lap, for once he was still, not moving with the rest of the world, not fighting against the whirlwind of existence. He brought his hand up and brushed a stray strand of hair from his eyes. A heavy weight soon settled in his stomach, the abrupt loneliness creeping up his spine sending his mind into shambles. The faint light around him allowed him to see the shadows that danced around him, they faded in and out of existence, none ever stayed long enough to be identified. They were shapeless, taunting him with their whispers, they shifted, weaving through the stars, twisting through galaxies, laughing and taunting the meaninglessness that was his life.

       He clenched his hands, rage surging through his veins but he stayed seated. The shadows faded out for the last time, leaving him alone with his thoughts. Galaxies swirl around him, he watched as they slowly collapse, as stars implode on themselves. He watches as a far off galaxy tears itself apart. A black hole forms nearby but Alec remains unfazed and unmoved. The stars that remain twinkle peacefully unaware at the destruction around them. He smiles at them before standing up and continuing on his way.

       He finds his way into the Milky Way, it's constellations come alive around him. Andromeda sways to a silent tune, eyes closed, a sad smile on her face. A serpent slithers in between his legs, coiling around his ankle and leaving stardust on his pants. Aquarius strolled by and smiled, water pitcher hanging lightly in his hand. Arrows flew overhead and Alec watched as Orion sprinted off after them. This galaxy as always full of life, they couldn't interact with him but their movement made him feel less lonely. The sun burned brightly, filling the sky with light. He skipped over Pluto, hopped to the Tadpole Galaxy, and continued to drift. He came across the rare omniscient deity, which usually ended with a fight. Alec never won but the contact with something other then himself made up for it.

        Space was cold, it wasn't surprising. It was also dark, darker then anything he had seen before, darkness that seemed to leech his soul. A nearby star burst and Alec jumped at the sudden violent movement, he pulled his jacket tighter and watching in a mix of awe and despair. It was a certainty in the universe, death was inevitable, for everything that existed must come to an end. He too would come to an end. It would be sudden and probably bloody, he almost smiled at the though, with how many gods he pissed off it better be. He flexed his hand, not even flinching at the flare of pain. A new type determination filled him, it was time to go piss off a god.

[ethereal-ebullience-blog]

Quarter Past Midnight

Old Original

Word Count: 691

It was a quarter past midnight when the feeling hit him, the feeling of self-realization, of confidence and motivation. The feeling he got when he felt like he could do anything and that nothing was truly stopping him. He knew it was hopeless, it was too late, he was too tried and nothing would be accomplished, not now anyway. He sighed, disappointed in himself, who cared if he was tired he should get up and do something. Ignoring himself he rolled over and closed his eyes.

It's half past one when the numbness settles in, chilling him to the core and filling his bones with lead. He lay there, staring at the ceiling, uncomfortable, but not willing to move. He doesn't feel anything but he's on the verge of tears, he refuses to let them fall and they go away, the numb feeling replaces them easily and he soon think that letting them fall would feel better than this. He thinks of his life, his family, his failures and all of the low moments in his life. He no longer feels how he should, nothing is real anymore and the quarter past midnight hope doesn't matter. Nothing he had done or will ever do matters because he will die and be forgotten.

It was ten to four when everything became too much, the feeling of the sheets above him, the sound of the birds and the howling wind outside his window. He feels heavy and jittery at the same, the nervous energy coursing through his veins making it hard to stay still, he clutches his pillow and his glazed eyes stare into the last of the darkness of the room. He conceals his heavy breathing with the mattress, the pillow, the blanket, anything he can so he won't wake the building. Everything is to much and it hurts, it feels like the weight of the world in on his chest, but he ignores it trying to think of things that once brought him joy.

It's six when he decides to get up, there is no point in trying to sleep anymore, he skips his shower, and walks to the kitchen, footsteps heavy, the numbness is back along with dread. He doesn't want to leave his house, he didn't even want to leave his bed. For breakfast he eats more then he should, trying to fill the gap in his chest, but just making himself feel sick. He does leave the house, going for a quick walk, something that he heard would help, the food in his stomach makes him feel guilty, but he doesn't have the energy to care. He smiles at people who pass by and they give him one in return. He runs into a friend and has a short conversation, he laughs at a story they tell, and their eyes shine when he does, warmth fills him. He stops with them at a cafe and buys something else to eat. The numbness stays throughout the day, the nervous energy comes and goes, the warmth has left long ago, but he refuses to let it show. The previous night soon takes its toll and he passes out later that day on his couch.

When he wakes up next it's seven, the sun has just began to set and he still just as exhausted as before. He eats dinner, watches shows off Netflix, and browses social media catching up on the latest trends. He finally has that shower, the first one in a while. He feels content, at home, maybe even happy.

It's five past eleven when he goes back to bed, he tries to congratulate himself on the small victories throughout the day, he got out of bed, he laughed and smiled, he ate, he went outside, he talked with a friend, he even had a shower. It was one of his better days and his final victory was getting a good nights sleep. It's ten when he wakes up, it's late in the morning but, not too late and, at the moment, he couldn't have asked for anything better and though he knew it wouldn't last he smiled.

[ethereal-ebullience-blog]

Esse Est Percepi

Original

Word Count 583

The cool breeze blew by, causing loose wisps of my hair to blow away from my face. The sun shone above, glazing the field with a warm, honey glow. I walk forward, long grass brushing softly against my legs. The air is crisp and the ground is soft. Water drops from the trees causing the forest to shimmer. The world stills as I start up the mountain. I slip over rugged and entwined roots. The earth and trees begin to whisper, it feels dark, empty, the earth is angry. I ignore them as I come across a gentle stream, pretending as if I didn't feel the glare of piercing eyes. I look in the crystal water, silently admiring the daffodils that are strewn around the edge, my eyes meet another, my reflection replaced by a young man, he reached out and smiled, eyes holding unmatched innocence, I leaned forward, his everlasting beauty alluring. A hazy fog wraps around my mind, I reach back, lightly skimming my fingers through the water obscuring his elegant features.

The wind quickly picks up, guiding me away from an unwelcome fate, the water bubbles lightly as I continue on my path. My eyes wander from the stream, I now notice the Hyacinths and Adonis' that grace the landscape, they lean towards me and plead for an unwavering love as I walk by. Their colours enchanting, but their secrets sorrowful. I smile politely at them as I feel the blood pumping in my ears. Leaves flutter down, reflecting in the light and creating an ethereal feeling of serenity, they cried out for hope, begging for something more than their predetermined fate. Animals dot the forest spreading gossip and sharing tales that have yet to happen. Magpies and Ospreys sway between the tree tops spreading stories that happened eons ago, mocking all that don't remember.

The air cools and a chill sets into my bones, my heart speeds up as I reach a ledge. An ibis swoops by, it's eyes judging all that it can see. Its beady eyes stare into my soul, carefully picking it apart before it disappears over the horizon. A snake slithers by my ankles, its scales burn as it brushes my skin, it hisses and my vision flashes, I grow dizzy, the ground sways briefly beneath me. My Will slips and my Essence coils tightly inside me. I blink rapidly, and everything settles. The sun has begun to set, colours burst and a slow melody sings out as the rays stretch, sharing purity and bright enlightenment. I take a deep breath, filling my lungs with ancient knowledge, I feel pebbles on my feet and happiness in my veins. I am content.

I smile and close my eyes feeling warmth caress my face. I open my eyes and I'm back were I started. I look up, the faint stars gleam as the sky comes to life, the feeling of an eternal spirit watching down fills me to my core . Butterflies flutter around, placing blessings of good luck on the crown of my head. I bend down the cool grass slipping between my fingers, my palms pressed against the damp soil, Vines crawl up my arms and I am soon submerged under the ground. Empty cries echo, people begging to be remembered. Gaea comforts me, she soothes hardships and dismisses unwelcome knowledge. I drift further, knowing I will wake once more, but for now I am at peace. I am home.