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Tim: hey Damian can you-

Damian: L + ratio+ kys

Tim: … wtf man

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I like to think that when the bat kids get upset with Bruce over small petty things they pull the your not my dad card like even Damian does it because he’s heard the other kids saying it for so long. Just imagine if you please:

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Bruce: Tim I am begging go to sleep the case will still be there to solve tomorrow

Tim: your not in charge of me your not my dad?

Bruce: (legally isn’t his dad) I’ll tell Alfred

Tim: you wouldn’t god damn dare

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Dick: (just stubbed his toe) oh fuck ouch

Bruce: language Richard

Dick: who the fuck are you my dad

Bruce: legally speaking yes watch your mouth

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Bruce: Jason stop stealing my tires off the Batmobile it isn’t funny

Jason: what are you gonna do ground me your not my dad bitch

Bruce: I DONT NEED TO BE YOUR DAD FOR YOU TO NOT STEAL MY TIRES DONT STEAL PERIOD

Jason: ok old man i think you’re going senile

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Duke: damn I got an f on my English essay

Bruce: you know duke you should really study harder if you want to be successful in the future

Duke: who do you think you are trust fund billy my dad?

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Steph: hey Brucie let’s do a tiktok together

Bruce: Steph you shouldn’t be on your phone all the time it’s bad for your health

Steph: sorry bruce didn’t know i was talking to my dad right now

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Damian: father I wish to go on patrol tonight

Bruce: Damian no you’re grounded you aren’t allowed to patrol

Damian: tt whatever you’re not my dad

Bruce: YES I AM?

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I say I’m not autistic but then I stay up all night and refuse to sleep because I haven’t watched every single episode of young justice to see dick Grayson in his prime.

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Damian: (literally just standing there)

Jason: remember when I fucked your mum immediately after coming back from the dead im your stepdad lol good times

Damian: I’m breaking the joker out of Arkham and giving him a crowbar so he can shove it up your ass stop bringing that up

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Jason: dicks the nicest of the robins he always has a nice word to say

Duke: yeah dicks so welcoming and lovely i would never say a bad word about him

Damian: Grayson is clingy but a worthy ally

Steph: dicks the best love him he’s a massive slay

Tim: dicks great man he’s like a brother to me

Cass: *aggressive thumbs up*

Alfred: master dick is a incredibly responsible young man im proud of the man he has become

Bruce: nightwing is an incredible fighter and level headed

Dick: fuck you batman you stupid prick hopefully joker takes you next dumbass

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Konner: I hate you guys I wish you never made me

Clark: ok lol whatever me to

Lex: no son that hurts daddy when you say that I’ll buy you Istanbul if you want would that make my baby boy happy oh yes it would how about we get some ice cream i love you soooo much

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Tell me why my girlfriend keeps telling me im crowley if Crowley was a basic goth white girl what in ever loving fuck does this mean? Bitch is just calling me a demon.

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I HATE HATE HATE when people headcannon conventionally unattractive characters as ace or aro or both simply because they’re not conventionally attractive. like yes if you want to headcannon aroace character please do so, (aroace rep is severely lacking) but for fucks sake just because they’re not to your standards doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be shipped with anyone. And this is obviously not me saying that said characters cant be aroace but gor fucks sake when its every god damn character you don’t personally find attractive it becomes so so so incredibly clear to me what you think of aro people.

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Im sorry but why is no one talking about aziraphale calling job “an absolute poppet” HES A FRUIT BASKET.

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One of the most important things to me is that although aziraphale has always been as kind. not because he’s an angel but because he genuinely and truly loves to help and care for people and i think thats wonderful.

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I going change this whole god damn blog to a aziraphale protection account THE MAN IS TRAUMATIZED AND GOT AN INVITATION OF BETTER TREATMENT FROM HIS ABUSER OF COURSE HES GOING TO GO THIS ISNT ABOUT CROWLEY ITS ABOUT AZIRAPHALE AND HIS TRAUMA.

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Good omens season 2 spoilers ahead:

I can’t believe the coffee theory on one specific basis of crowley has had thousands of years to accept that he is his own side with aziraphale no matter what that’s how he’s seen them as an “us”. aziraphale has never seen that to him it’s always been angels vs demons so, when he’s cast aside from heaven he is just managing to cope with his trauma and much like a toxic relationship if he’s able to go back he will no matter who it hurts (in this case himself and crowley). aziraphale is still latched onto the hope that there is a good and a bad if only subconsciously and he sees himself and crowley as good and able to change the way things are done in heaven and like maggie and nina said the boys are shit At communication. aziraphale has just been having a war in his head this whole time while crowley, although hes had the same thoughts, cant help him.

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Friendly jrwi hc :D, i believe with my heart and soul that jay started forcing gillion to sleep in her bed with her after the whole gillion is gone thing because she was so scared that she wouldn’t be there to help him if she didn’t. ( chip joins in a week after because he feels left out)

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so i've been thinking abt the circumstances of gillion's banishment (as one does) bc it Doesn't Make Sense cuz like,,, idc how fucked up the elders are or how much they may have hated gillion, why would you banish the chosen one over something like attacking a navy officer- the very thing you spent seventeen years telling him to do??? you wouldn't. you've spent almost two decades training this kid to be your perfect little weapon, you wouldn't throw him out for acting like the weapon you turned him into. for acting on the instinct that you programmed into him- especially considering gill attacked jayson because he could literally smell the evil coming off of him. you wouldn't give up an unquestionably loyal guard and literal holy figure for the sake of a bad deal with the very people you HATE.

so now I wonder. I wonder if sending gill to the oversea is just another fucked up test. I wonder if the elders lied to him about his banishment, and used him attacking a navy officer as an excuse to throw him into this test. to see if he could survive on his own.

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I was going through old Vox Machina posts, and I found one from @/eponymous-rose, where they came up with funny alternate titles for the episodes of the campaign. I stole that idea and did it with JRWI Riptide! Here you go:

Episode 1 : "How Did Everything Go Wrong, We Just Started"

Episode 2-7: "Laughing but it's Really Creepy Actually"

Episode 8: "This Hot Purple Tiefling Can't Possibly Be Evil"

Episode 9-10: "Getting Drunk and Making Bad Choices"

Episode 11: "Nightmare Sequence: Jay's Turn"

Episode 12-14: "These Are The Most Viewed Episodes Because a Popular Minecraft Youtuber is in Them."

Episode 15: "Friendly Fight to the Death"

Episode 16: "The Moment a Food Became the Biggest Ship Name in the Fandom"

Episode: 17: "Accidentally Abducting a Child"

Episode 18: "Bizly Makes the Single Worst Possible Decision for his Character Design"

Episode 19-20: "Holy Shit We're Finally Doing Dungeon Stuff"

Episode 21: "How to Queerbait your Audience"

Episode 22-23: "Cursed Artifact is Given to Person Most Likely to Use it"

Episode 24-25: "Battle of the Bands"

Episode 26: "I Bet This Decision Won't Have Any Consequences (Sequel to Cursed Artifact)"

Episode 27-28: "This Feels Like a Sidequest"

Episode 29-31: "Pirate Gladiator Battle (and Lots of Pantsing)"

Episode 32: "Oh Yeah, We're in the Middle of a War"

Episode 33-38: "Cat Fight (literally)"

Episode 39-40 "Oh Yeah, We're in the Middle of a War: Part 2"

Episode 41: "That Decision Had Consequences (Cursed Artifact Part 3)"

Episode 42-46: "Everyone Makes Bad Choices but Everything Works Out in the End"

Episode 47: "Yeah it Took Us This Long to Name Our Pirate Crew"

Episode 48: "Forgot We Had a Boss Battle"

Episode 49: "Was This Episode Real?"

Episode 50-52: "What the Actual Fuck Grizzly"

Episode 53: "Crying About Daddy Issues in Cosplay"

Episode 53-55: "The Mario Water Level of the Campaign"

Episode 56: "Why Would You Do That?!"

Episode 57-58: "Family Reunion and Lesbians"

Episode 59-60: "Chip's Suicide Mission"

Episode 61-62: "Everyone Makes Bad Choices but it Doesn’t Work Out in the End This Time"

Episode 63: "Loss of the Single Best NPC in D&D History"

Episode 64: "Nightmare Sequence: Chip's Turn"

Episode 65-67: "Roblox Murder Mystery"

Episode 68-68: "No, That's Not a Typo"

Episode 70: "Fighting Our Friend's Inner Demons (Not Clickbait!!!)"

Episode 71-72: "The Feywild is Insane"

Episode 73: "Wait Where'd He Go?"

Episode 74-80: "Hee Hoo! This Arc Was a Fever Dream!"

Episode 81: "Oops, This One's Got Self Worth Issues"

Episode 82: "Gillion Hatches"

Episode 83-84: "Semi-consensual Attempted Murder"

Episode 85: "How to Lose All of Your Money In Three Simple Steps!"

Episode 86: "Friendly Fight to the Death but With Character Development"

Episode 87: "Fighting the Sun for Your Homies"

Episode 88: "Return of the Single Best NPC in D&D History"

Episode 89: "We're Not High Enough Level for That Yet'

Episode 90: "Cat Fight (With Murder This Time)"

Episode 91-92: "The Riptide Pirates Get High and Then Die"

Episode 93: "Oh Shit Lore"

Episode 94-96: "Callbacks The Arc"

Episode 97: "Nightmare Sequence: Gillion's Turn"

Episode 98: "Gillion Doesn't Die (Somehow)"

Episode 99: "This Ended Too Well, Something Has to Go Wrong"

Episode 100-101: "Something went wrong"

(Since the campaign is still ongoing, I will be updating this as new episodes release)

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William: one time i played truth or dare at a party and someone dared me to go home

Ashe: i dont think ive been to a party since like 3rd grade

Vyncent: i got blackout drunk once at a festival and when i woke up i was in some old building and someone gently placed a rat on my head before leaving

Dakota: im gonna throw a party tonight i think

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some fnc+chip in a dress for the soul :)