Venting out trauma : BPD, C-PTSD, & GAD diagnosed : she/her : Bisexual : Original Poetry and Art : Literary Quotes
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Intrusive Thought #3892-B
#bpd#mental health awareness#actually bpd#bpd feels#bpd mood#mental illness#mental health#emptiness#mentally exhausted#russia#russian language#russian#split#tw self destructive thoughts#self loathing#self sabotage#bpd emotions#bpd thoughts#actually cptsd#just cptsd things#living with anxiety#living with borderline#generalized anxiety disorder#i hate everything#i hate my existence#i hate my brain#i hate it here
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My mind has been arsoned, with no way to stop the violent flames.
My heart has been set ablaze, with no means to press charges.
My soul has been turned to ash, with no way to stop the terror of my returning memories.
#bpd#mental health awareness#actually bpd#bpd feels#bpd mood#mental illness#mental health#emptiness#mentally exhausted#emdr therapy#therapy#dbt therapy#intrusive memories#intrusive images#memory loss#coping with trauma#actually cptsd#cptsd vent#just cptsd things#borderline splitting#actually borderline#living with cptsd#living with anxiety#living with borderline#tw sex abuse#sex abuse
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Intrusive Thought #3892
#bpd#mental health awareness#actually bpd#bpd feels#bpd mood#mental illness#mental health#emptiness#mentally exhausted#journaling#bpd emotions#bpd thoughts#actually cptsd#cptsd vent#bpd vent#bpd vibes#generalized anxiety disorder#living with anxiety#living with borderline#living with cptsd#tw self destructive thoughts#self loathing
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The fear of ridicule keeps me in a stagnant state.
The secrets exact a toll to an extent I can’t yet estimate.
The fear of not being believed advances the need to isolate.
The sheer gravity only continues to complicate.
#bpd#mental health awareness#actually bpd#bpd feels#bpd mood#mental illness#mental health#emptiness#depressing poem#women poets#sad poetry#just cptsd things#living with borderline#living with anxiety#generalized anxiety disorder#living with cptsd#cptsd vent#actually dissociative#actually cptsd#actually borderline#short poem#tw sex abuse#sex abuse
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The actions, purely malicious.
The words, truly venomous.
The guise of religious sincerity, only to extricate the pious.
The permanent demeanor, perpetually anxious.
The outcome, my soul left rancorous.
#bpd#mental health awareness#actually bpd#bpd feels#bpd mood#mental illness#mental health#emptiness#mentally exhausted#artists on tumblr#depressing poem#women poets#female poets#sad poetry#savior complex#sex abuse#religious trauma#domestic violent relationships#tw narcissistic abuse#tw sex abuse#tw narcissism#adoption trauma
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Gravity of the Total Eclipse
[Original Painting, oil on canvas]
Светлана Николаевна Ширикова - April 20, 2025
#bpd#mental health awareness#actually bpd#bpd feels#bpd mood#mental illness#mental health#emptiness#mentally exhausted#artists on tumblr#oil on canvas#oil painting#original painting#canvas painting#painting#orginal art#women artists#actually cptsd#solar eclipse#space
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Fuck having to socialize and go to dumbass gatherings because it is Easter.
#bpd#mental health awareness#actually bpd#bpd feels#bpd mood#mental illness#mental health#emptiness#mentally exhausted#social battery#socially anxious#socially inept#religious trauma#easter#actually cptsd#just cptsd things#bpd emotions#bpd problems#bpd splitting#feminine rage#rage#generalized anxiety disorder#living with anxiety#anxious#anxiety
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You tell me to be reasonable, I dissociate.
You say I need to meditate, I ruminate.
You take logic to an extreme, I feel gruesome.
You force your way through the flame, I find abysmal shame.
#bpd#mental health awareness#actually bpd#bpd feels#bpd mood#mental illness#mental health#emptiness#mentally exhausted#actually cptsd#cptsd vent#just cptsd things#actually ptsd#actually dissociative#actually borderline#depressing poem#women poets#women writers#female poets#sad poetry#artists on tumblr#living with anxiety#generalized anxiety disorder#toxic relationship#fp bpd#bpd fp#bpd favorite person#favorite person
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When your therapist says,
“Professionally we don’t intentionally lead people towards a conclusion but… I do agree that what you are indicating comes from repressed sexual abuse.”
#bpd#mental health awareness#actually bpd#bpd feels#bpd mood#mental illness#mental health#emptiness#mentally exhausted#emdr therapy#actually ptsd#complex ptsd#savior complex#tw narcissistic parent#tw narcissistic abuse#tw sex abuse#actually dissociative#actually cptsd#actually borderline#child abuse#abandoment issues#post traumatic stress disorder#those dissociative feels#time to dissociate
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It’s the willingly walking into a torture chamber and then doubling down for me.
#bpd#mental health awareness#actually bpd#bpd feels#bpd mood#mental illness#mental health#emptiness#mentally exhausted#bpd emotions#emdr therapy#bpd splitting#just cptsd things#living with cptsd#those dissociative feels#emotional dysregulation
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‘Would you like me to ask you a certain riddle I have here?’ ‘Go on, then.’ Mitya took the scrap of paper from his waistcoat, unfolded it and showed it to Pyotr Ilyich. In large, clear handwriting it said:
‘I punish myself for the whole of my life, the whole of my life I punish!’
Братья Карамазовы - Фёдор Михайлович Достоевский
Book VIII: Mitya
#mental health awareness#fyodor dostoevsky#brothers karamazov#russian literature#classic novels#classic literature#literary quotes#quotes#bpd feels#bpd mood#mental illness#mental health#emptiness#mentally exhausted#bpd#living with cptsd#mentally unstable
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Another night of insomnia, seething with emotional turmoil until sunrise.
#actually bpd#bpd#mental health awareness#bpd feels#bpd mood#mental illness#mental health#emptiness#mentally exhausted#bpd emotions#bpd splitting#those dissociative feels#actually dissociative#time to dissociate#cptsd vent#just cptsd things#borderline splitting#bpd thoughts#generalized anxiety disorder#living with cptsd#living with anxiety#living with borderline#intrusive images#insomia#emotional dysregulation#emotions#tired af
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I thought everything was sorted…
In no time at all those thoughts were crushed.
The weight of sitting in limbo has me decimated…
I can’t escape unscathed.
#actually bpd#bpd#mental health awareness#bpd feels#bpd mood#mental illness#mental health#emptiness#mentally exhausted#depressing poem#women poets#women writers#artists on tumblr#short poem#borderline splitting#bpd splitting#split#cptsd vent#living with cptsd#living with anxiety#living with borderline#generalized anxiety disorder#anxious#anxiety#panic attack#those dissociative feels#time to dissociate
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*bargaining for death like my life depends on it*
#actually bpd#bpd#mental health awareness#bpd feels#bpd mood#mental illness#mental health#emptiness#mentally exhausted#tw grief#grief/mourning#stages of grief#bpd poetry#bpd emotions#bpd thoughts#bpd problems#tw sui vent#tw self destructive thoughts#just cptsd things#it shouldve been me
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Today is your birthday, everyone is celebrating in your memory...
As I celebrate your life, I can only think it should have been me who committed suicide…
In your stead…
#actually bpd#bpd#mental health awareness#bpd feels#bpd mood#mental illness#mental health#emptiness#mentally exhausted#tw grief#grief/mourning#tw suicidal thoughts#tw sui vent#tw sui talk#tw suicidality#cptsd vent#just cptsd things#bpd emotions#bpd love#bpd thoughts#bpd things#bpd problems#living with cptsd#actually cptsd#actually dissociative#actually borderline#tw death#bargaining#stages of grief#dealing with grief
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*hour long, full blown, and sobbing panic attack all before 10AM*
#actually bpd#bpd#mental health awareness#bpd feels#bpd mood#mental illness#mental health#emptiness#mentally exhausted#panic attack#living with anxiety#generalized anxiety disorder#cptsd vent#bpd emotions#bpd thoughts#bpd splitting#living with cptsd#just cptsd things#coping with trauma#bad coping mechanisms
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My focus on the anxiety and the irrational negatives far outweighs the rational positives present.
#actually bpd#bpd#mental health awareness#bpd feels#bpd mood#mental illness#mental health#emptiness#mentally exhausted#emotional dysregulation#irrational fears#delusional#irrationality#borderline splitting#bpd emotions#bpd thoughts#cptsd vent#just cptsd things#living with anxiety#generalized anxiety disorder#anxious#intrusive images#intrusive daydreaming
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