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simpforshitposts · 3 months
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unpopular opinion (but it really isn’t): I’d fuck Jacob Elordi’s grave too. I have no shame about it.
Like the one grandma on tiktok said “Jacob Elordi more like Jacob OH LORDY”
Yes I would fuck his grave but I draw the line at slurping up bathwater. I have no regrets.
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simpforshitposts · 1 year
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“are you patriotic?”
HELL YES I AM 🦇🦇🦇🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🦅🦅🦅
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simpforshitposts · 1 year
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Duke: (rizzing up some girl)
Steph (interrupting): yo Duke, Damian brought a cow home I’m trying to get the whole family to convince Bruce to keep it. You in?
Duke: No white girl I don’t know you
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simpforshitposts · 1 year
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Someone said Jason Todd is a sneaky link and I can not get over it. Like he forever will be a sneaky link. He will never be a in a stable committed relationship. But dw Jaybird I will gladly be your sneaky link so you don’t have to be any one elses
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simpforshitposts · 1 year
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Duke: yo Bruce use your connections to get me Beyoncé tickets
Bruce: No.
Duke: DID YOU JUST CALL ME THE N WORD!??!?!
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simpforshitposts · 1 year
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Dick Grayson is hot in any iteration….
even the ric grayson era
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simpforshitposts · 1 year
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I swear Batman 66 is a entrepreneur
3 seasons aired over 2 years and it had 120, 25 minute, episodes
Plus the plots? Immaculate
They just aren’t doing it like they used to folks
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simpforshitposts · 1 year
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literally something I witnessed today but edited to fit the batfam
Bruce: can you please stop talking when I’m talking?
Jason: oh yeah sure
Bruce: …Okay so-
*bad to the bone by George Thorogood & The Destroyers starts playing*
Bruce (making direct eye contact with Jason who is clearly playing the song from his phone): Stop that.
Jason: oh yeah my bad
Bruce: as I said earlier-
*bad to the bone by George Thorogood & The Destroyers plays again*
Bruce (glaring at Jason): Jason I said stop that.
Jason: sorry it’s just my favorite song
Bruce: It’s fine just don’t do it again. As I was saying-
*bad to the bone by George Thorogood & The Destroyers plays yet again*
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simpforshitposts · 1 year
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Duke Thomas takes full advantage of black history month.
Duke (pushing Dick out of the way): Move bitch, it’s black history month
Duke (talking to Bruce): since it’s black history month you have to pay me as retribution for your ancestors. How’d you think they got all the money?
Duke (making that one tiktok with Steph): SO IM GONNA STAND UP TAKE MY PEOPLE WITH ME TOGETHER WE ARE GOING TO A BRAND NEW HOME
Duke (after a white villain punched him): really dude, during black history month?
White Villain: Oh shit man, I forgot. Here, I’ll turn myself in.
Duke (talking to Bruce): you will hold a gala for black history month and I will be the face of it.
*bonus*
Dick (durring june 2020, kneeling and raising his hand to Duke): we might not be the same, but that’s not important. No freedom til we’re equal, damn right I support it.
Duke: uhhh thanks?
Dick: No problem brother (does the fist to chest thing)
Duke: 😀 (eyes wide and smile in shock)
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simpforshitposts · 1 year
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Lois Lane: Clark, I’m standing here outside the Metropolis Center for the preforming arts, where the new production of Annie has just premiered to cries of outrage. A rapidly growing organization called the “Ginger Separatist Movement” is furious that the lead role of Annie is being played by a boy, who isn’t actually ginger. Joining me now is the ginger’s head spokesperson, Jason Todd.
Jason Todd: That’s right this is bull crap! We, true gingers, are furious that the role of Annie is being minimized.
Lois Lane: What harm do you believe this actor is doing to the true redhead community?
Jason Todd: The bitch isn’t ginger! He’s just using makeup to look ginger and pretending to be ginger with makeup is the worst thing anybody can do.
*Dick Grayson walks out*
Jason Todd (pointing): There he is, get him!
*Jason, Barbara, Kory, among other gingers run to attack Dick*
Jason Todd (kicking Dick): YOURE NOT GINGER BITCH!
*cut to Clark*
Clark Kent: If you are a ginger and would like to join the ginger sepertist movement, you can attend thier first meeting this Friday at Wayne Manor.
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simpforshitposts · 1 year
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Like yeah I’m poor but also I don’t have to pay for school lunches and the state gives us money for food and free health insurance. So suck it bitches
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simpforshitposts · 1 year
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I have no idea what the whole omegaverse thing is. I know it’s based off of 2010’s Alpha and Omega but I had no idea that it has such a large fan base. Like why is there so many fanficions taking place in that universe. Don’t get me wrong I love the enthusiasm and recognition the movie is getting but why that of all things?
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simpforshitposts · 1 year
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Today I had the impulsive thought to cut my hair. So I did.
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simpforshitposts · 1 year
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Dick: you kidnapped Beyoncé? That’s illegal.
Duke: but Dick, what’s more illegal, briefly inconveniencing Beyoncé or not getting a world tour?
Dick: kidnapping Beyoncé, Duke.
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simpforshitposts · 1 year
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my new white boy of the month is Nicholas Hoult. Bro is majestic. I would let him him do unholy things to me. And yes it’s probably bc I’m watching the great Sue me. It’s my favorite show now
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simpforshitposts · 1 year
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here’s my fox family fancasts (besides Luke bc personally I love Camurus as Luke)
Lucius Fox- Dennis Haysbert
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Now a lot of people are gonna be mad because I didn’t stay with Morgan Freeman but hes 87, Dennis is 68. Dennis and Morgan are basically the same person but different font. They both have that same deep soothing voice. I tried to stick to someone similar to Morgan, as I think he was a fantastic Lucius. Slap some glasses on Dennis and he’d be good to go.
Tanya Fox- Alfie Woodard
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I love love love Alfie. She was amazing in Clemency. Alfie has RANGE. I truly believe she can play just about anyone. Plus she gives that motherly girl boss vibe Tanya has. And they look a like.
Jace Fox- LaRoyce Hawkins
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LaRoyce is an amazing actor. Go watch some of his clips from Chicago PD. He has the kind of attitude that I would expect Jace to have. Plus he is built for the role. Dude is 6’3 and buff. I feel like he would fit in to the role of Jace/Batman perfectly. LaRoyce is 34 and Jace is probably in his early 30s. Since he is the oldest of the fox children
Tamara Fox- Lovie Simone
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Tam is the 2nd oldest Fox child. Shes probably about in her late 20s. Now Lovie is only 24 and she has only played kids in highschool as of now but she has proven that she can have the emotional depth and maturity that Tam has. Plus they’re both bad bitches.
Tiffany Fox- Akira Akbar
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People tend to fancast Tiffany as someone who is much older. This is due to the fact she used to be the oldest sister in new earth continuity but since New 52 she has been the youngest in the Fox Family. Like right now shes probably only 12-14 ish. Akira is 16 but she is currently playing a 12 year old in bel air, which makes me think that she would be perfect for the role. In bel-air she encapsules the element of being the youngest sister so well.
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simpforshitposts · 1 year
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JACE FOX DUPPEEE
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