#& i dont want it to be one of those things where you self diagnose based on something you heard in psych class

[princeandreis]

okay i just had the weirdest thing just happen to me and im extremely confused (discussions of anxiety, body dysmorphia, and bodily sensations under the cut if you don't want to read that)

setting: end of abnormal psychology class; we'd just finished watching an upsetting scene from csi about a girl with body dysmorphic disorder who literally gouged holes into her face

i'm sitting there feeling a little upset, partially because of the video and partially because the day's lecture material hit a little too close to home (anxiety disorders and whatnot)

and then out of the blue, my ears "zone out" and a high-pitched buzzing starts, i feel unrooted and dizzy like the world just spun 180 degrees, my vision briefly goes dark and fuzzy on the edges, and i get this heavy but floating feeling in my chest -- like it's hard to breathe but my chest is barely there.

then i start to feel nauseous -- seriously nauseous, like i might have to leave the room to vomit, which genuinely never ever happens to me -- and my stomach feels like it does when my lactose intolerance is out to get me. meanwhile, my body gets so hot that my face physically starts sweating and i have to take off my jacket.

i was so freaked out by all of this and my hearing was so fuzzy i had to concentrate to understand what the professor was saying, and it felt like i was barely in the room because i was so inside my own head and body trying to figure out what was wrong. i was so scared i'd throw up or do something weird that i just sat motionless and stared straight ahead, wide-eyed, hoping it would all pass. all of this happened within a minute or two and then it was over.

girl wadda hell just happened to my body

[genderstealer2000]

How do you start gender hoarding? I know that it might sound like a stupid question, but you see, I live in a place where trans people and nbs are looked down upon but lesbians and gays are ok. (rural Australia)

I felt weird coming out to my bf as a demigirl( I am AFAB) and he knows I’m a furry, but doesn’t know about my alter humanity (questioning therian)

So my view of gender is very “traditional” and where I live there’s only really female, male, trans and (very rare) nonbinary. I also have highly suspected autism/ self diagnosed yet I don’t see gender in a way I hear people with autism do, probably due to my upbringing

I want to know from a person like you who knows the “newer” ways of gender how I should gender hoard and not stick myself to just the traditional genders

its not a stupid question at all!! ill do my best to answer! so i identify as agender transmasc. agender goes under the trans umbrella and nonbinary, but i dont see myself as gender neutral i just have no gender. now going more into the transmasc, just means i feel more masculine. doesnt really effect the way i present my gender any differently, hmm i guess i dont really know how to explain it. i dont understand the concept of gender, i dont understand a lot of social constructs, i honestly think its sort of unneeded. my gender is complex in the most noncomplex way, its vast and its tiny. ive made my own genders based off of feelings and intrests, i think thats the best way to get started with genderhoarding. making your own ideas, analyzing yourself. (personally its helped me become more aware of who i am!) imaginationnnnn!! creativity!! make something up, no ones stopping you! the way i view gender is its what makes you, you. it doesnt have to make sense to anyone but you. it doesnt have to make sense! some of the things i tie in with my gender are the rustling of leaves in a forest, fog in the early morning, large fields, chaotic music, soft stuffed animals, the smell of pavement after it rains, soft piano music, acoustic guitar, the moon some of those things are real different!! and those are some of the things that i view my gender as! i think its a lot easier too with the internet, theres a ton of people who have similar ideas and interests so they also make genders, sexualities, and flags to go along with them.

i have a board on pinterest that i frequently add stuff to, i could link it here if you would like! i also save just anynthing that pops up if it remindes me of my friends or it seems cool. it doesnt mean i identify with it, but its cool to read about them! i keep track of them in a notebook as well!! my genders relate to my hyperfixations, mostly. Hyperfixations and anything that i can relate too! ex. horrormasc: a masculine aligned horrorgender. fits both definitions (1: a horrifying/all over the place gender, and 2: a gender related to different horror genres) raingender: a xenogender connected to the rain scenekid/scene neutral, oldwebemoic, onlineboyic, endspacic etc, etc. dont feel rushed at all to tell your boyfriend! when i started feeling more comfortable telling people, i made sure to have articals pulled up to read, notes etc. so it would be easier to sort me thoughts? get it out more smoothly. i also wanted to talk about self-diagnosing!! i hear so much negative about it, but honestly, its good to research and try and find out things about yourself. that my opinion. and not for longterm, just for a bit until you can get evaluated. gahhhhh self diagnosing is valid and it makes me so mad to see people who think its not. granted, some people to just see a couple things and "oh yup got that" but when you really spend time looking at signs, symptoms, traits it can be very beneficial in the long run, and also just to check before you go get evaluated also i apologize if this is insanely long, or if it makes no sense. im sleep deprived, im trying to fall asleep gahh i hope this helped even a little bit!! if you want me to expand on anything or explain anything further feel free to dm me!

[sophieinwonderland]

Found this blog through one of your psychology posts. I dont know much about tulpas, so I was wondering "What makes you think you're a tulpa and not an alter formed from DID?"

Hi there! Nice to meet you!

There are a few things.

The main thing is just that we just don't fit the criteria.

Harm

At their core, most disorders have some sort of harm criterion. In the DSM, that's "clinically significant distress or impairment" in important areas of functioning.

While there can be a lot of debate in what constitutes symptoms of a mental disorder being "clinically significant" enough to be diagnosed, it should generally be considered that experiences which are neutral (don't cause harm) or that are net positive (benefits outweigh minor inconveniences) wouldn't meet the criteria.

Tulpamancy is usually beneficial to people's mental health, or at least neutral.

Boundary with Normality

The ICD-11 has a boundary with normality, where it states that two distinct personality states can exist without it being a mental disorder.

The presence of two or more distinct personality states does not always indicate the presence of a mental disorder. In certain circumstances (e.g., as experienced by ‘mediums’ or other culturally accepted spiritual practitioners) the presence of multiple personality states is not experienced as aversive and is not associated with impairment in functioning. A diagnosis of Dissociative Identity Disorder should not be assigned in these cases.

This is also echoed in the DSM criterion D.

The disturbance is not a normal part of a broadly accepted cultural or religious practice. Note: In children, the symptoms are not better explained by imaginary playmates or other fantasy play.

While "broadly" is term that can be debated, I would argue that this definition applies to subcultures equally, lest it pathologize experiences of minority religions.

Amnesia

This one is less important but worth mentioning. In the DSM, criterion B states that you need to experience "recurrent gaps in the recall of everyday events, important personal information, and/or traumatic events that are inconsistent with ordinary forgetting."

This isn't something we experience.

The reason I say it's less important is because this doesn't preclude forms of OSDD-1. And the ICD-11 doesn't have an amnesia criterion, even though amnesia at some point is associated with the illness.

Other Considerations

There are other points that I consider more generalities than hard dividing lines. While I'm open to the possibility of DID existing without trauma, it is overwhelmingly associated with childhood trauma. Even if trauma is forgotten, responses are usually still present. We don't have those.

Going from the last point, switching in DID systems often is based on triggers. That's how alters tend to form. And while it can be controlled later on, it's still common for switching triggers to exist by default. Instinctive switching is a huge part of how traumagenic systems form. For us and most tulpamancers, switching was a skill we had to learn.

I'd argue that tulpamancy practices might have more in common with many spiritual practices, despite tulpamancy itself being largely psychological.

Blurring Lines

I do want to note that while non-disordered systems are distinct from those with dissociative disorders, there does appear to be some relationships between the two. A DID system who creates a tulpa from a tulpamancy guide will often end up with something that functions similar to alters in their system, and may experience triggered switching or amnesia between them if those things are already there with other headmates.

Here's a great article if you want more from the perspective of a tulpa system with DID.

More...

If you're interested in psychology and would like to learn more about tulpa systems, you should check out this paper by Samuel Veissiere, a Psychiatry professor and McGill University.

[sysmedsaresexist]

to elaborate on WHY i use endogenic: because i'm NOT professionally diagnosed yet, and i'm worried about the harm i could cause if it does end up somehow being a misdiagnosis. i dont want to talk about my experiences and label them as being apart of a certain thing if, in the end, its not. but ironically, i still fear the same if i label myself endogenic. hope this explains a bit!

Friendo, don't overthink it so hard, really, the vast majority of the community isn't properly and professionally diagnosed, and the reasons are endless and valid (except for ableist reasons like, "ew, I'm not disordered")

Listen, there is a MASSIVE difference between misinterpreting symptoms/experiences and faking or lying

BPD and schizophrenia are the most common misdiagnoses for DID. Do we blame and shame people misdiagnosed (self DX or otherwise) with those when they realize it's something else? Do we get angry at those that realize they were never a system at all? Do we bash on endogenic systems that realize they actually have DID? Hell, no, and I'll fuck a bitch up if I ever see any of this, I'm just happy for anyone that gets even a small step closer to figuring themselves out

It's when you're hellbent on one thing and you lose sight of symptoms that don't necessarily fit that one thing that there's a problem

When you join a community in good faith looking for answers and support, there is no judgement for misdiagnosis, and your experiences based on being open to other possible explanations for symptoms becomes INVALUABLE to that community

If you turn out to have DID or BPD or literally anything, you become a resource for those communities

I get asks daily about "is this normal," "what does this symptom mean," "how do you tell the difference between this and that." Who better to answer that than someone who went through the same scenario? Discerning between self expression and identity, various symptoms and presentations, different ways of struggling. If I turned out to have schizophrenia after all this, and you turned out to have DID, combined, we're going to help someone figure themselves out (and BOY, I'd have some stories to share).

What harm could you possibly do by looking for answers?

If you're going to take the endogenic label, the only things I suggest are that you try to be mindful of the ableism and misinformation that underlines a lot of conversations in those communities, try to correct where you can, and try to encourage people with questions about other possible diagnoses to go seek answers in those communities-- not for their friends to take best guesses at it

Most important of all, consistently monitor yourself and your symptoms-- don't deny and brush under the rug when you're struggling

This blog has always been, and always be, open to any and all that want to comment and interact, because every experience matters and adds to the conversation

The community I want to foster is one full of people just trying to find answers and get through life

Whatever you end up having, so long as we're on the same page that DID is a childhood trauma disorder (because it is), you're welcome in my community, with whatever label you choose (and from there, I do my best to monitor the interactions of different labels in my followers-- my priority for safety will always be those with DID/OSDD over other labels)

.......

.......

.......

Though I might still be over here, silently judging and remembering this meme I made forever ago, but you can't make anyone be ready to talk about that

Edit: also, for the other half of this ask, it's totally normal not to remember things until you're much older and out of the situation

[queenburd]

thinking deeply about your fic where Stanley finally meets with Narrator face to face. To begin, I adore your writing and that piece in particular really tears at my soul in the best way (along with their first kiss).

But every time I read something like this where the Narrator is down at Stanley's level, it gets me thinking.

What happens when he needs to go back? DOES he need to go back? Back to being just a voice? The first time he came down into the game, was it hard to leave? Hard to go back to the way he was before? Hard to let go of Stanley?

and what about Stanley? Was it hard to let go of the Narrator now that he finally had him? Was it hard to start back over in his office with just the phantom feeling of a hand on his back or a head on his shoulder?

Ohh I'm probably looking too far into this, as usual. Silly silly me, but I just needed to get that thought out somewhere. Love your work May, keep doing what you're doing<33

-M

oh this is a SWEET ask hello M.

So.... he doesn't NEED to go back! not really. one of the things the Narrator figured out before he finally took it for the final run (surprising Stanley at the Expo!) was making sure he could exit it without needing a reset AND making sure it would stick around between resets. He figured out how to make sure it could be placed where he wants it. And, if he's honest, because he's never had a lot of experiences before, it can be exhausting and overwhelming. so there ARE times that he unloads it.

a lot of this, to me, goes back to what Stanley said in that very first chapter when the Narrator started thinking about it. "Humans need it, but we aren't human, so I don't." tie that in with how Stanley felt when the narrator came down to hug him with his eyes closed. "it's something I've gone without all my life, i didnt know i was missing it, and I CAN survive without it, but I know my life will be all the less rich for it."

they are not human beings. at their base level, they are not touch starved. (the people who write them as such are SO VALID, but these two do not start that way.) they dont NEED to have it to survive.

but they really, REALLY enjoy it. it's one of their favorite things. the Narrator was honestly bummed when that first time came to an end, if you recall. he hugged Stanley from behind and was so sad to lose it, and when he said goodbye he ALMOST said "I'll see you soon", before changing to "I'll talk to you soon."

his body wasnt READY then. it was still missing some details and features. so he had to give it up and put it back in the workshop. but he was very sad about it. but it might not have been able to experience the full range (heat, cold, sharp, pain) and that was ready when he finally finished it. and those are so.... beautifully overwhelming. imagine his first time feeling real physical pain. he definitely needed to unload after that.

Stanley is special to me. I think that, yeah, those times where his Narrator is just a voice, it's a little loss for him, but...

he has spent so long with the fellow being just a voice, and that being the only way for the Narrator to comfort him. to him, on some level, the Narrator's voice HAS a physical feeling. maybe not literally, but he describes it at times like a blanket over his shoulders or a soothing balm. it has a gentle weight to it that he always felt before the Narrator had a body.

so that persists, I think. it may not feel as solid and he may miss the feeling of a hand in his (and tangle his own fingers together to cope) but he always felt like the voice was doing what it could to touch him anyway.

parting can be hard, but it's bearable because they never lose each other, not really. theyre never REALLY separated.

(I should comment, because it feels relevant in how Stanley "feels" the voice and the narrator's behavior and overwhelm re stimuli: I dont know enough about autism to say my guys have it or express symptoms of it. I am self diagnosed with adhd myself, and we dont know if thats all i have, Ive never looked too closely at the Tism to know if I would be on the spectrum. I say this because these guys are definitely not neurotypical, and I feel like that shows, but others might know more than me and can better tell if these experiences are.... like that.

anyway that's a tangent for another day i just keep forgetting to comment abt it so while it's at the forefront of my brain, here it is)

[systemserendipity]

about this post

https://www.tumblr.com/systemserendipity/731283108856528896/come-on-yall-it-takes-like-ten-minutes-listen?source=share&ref=_tumblr

from one pro-endo to another, i absolutely agree that a ton of anti-endos really need to educate themselves more than just one biased google search. and since you're against people being biased in the info they choose to look at and accept as fact you'll be open to listening to me. so, as gently as i can possibly say this, i ask that you also do some research that's not just a biased google search

the caard that you linked does have a lot of good points! but it also has a lot of harmful misinformation.

for example, it tries using diagnostic manuals as 'proof' that DID/OSDD-1 aren't trauma disorders. bear with me on this! this isnt bs youd usually hear after a sentence like that! but i gotta address the misinfo before clarifying what i mean

diagnostic manuals are diagnostic manuals. they exist to help medical professionals diagnose patients. but its not a be all end all of whats True or False about disorders, especially not to people like you and me who aren't professionally practicing psychologists. its a tool to aid these professionals, but these professionals arent basing their entire understanding of the disorders on the manuals. if that was all there was to it, anyone could use it to diagnose anyone

now about did/osdd-1 being trauma disorders, its important to understand what they are. they are developmental disorders. in childhood there are things known as critical periods, where a child must reach a certain milestone by a certain time in order to be able to reach it. in did/osdd-1, something disrupted the child's ability to integrate their identity into one cohesive sense of self prior to the critical period. and, whatever that thing was, counts as trauma in the context of did/osdd-1

trauma is a word that has a ton of different definitions depending on what context its being spoken of. in medical contexts it has very specific definitions, and those definitions arent the same even across different disorders. what counts as trauma in PTSD isnt the same as what counts as trauma in DID/OSDD-1

for example, if say there was an autistic child who found moving to a new house so disruptive and stressful that they formed did/osdd-1, moving house would count as trauma in their case. because trauma in this context refers to whatever it was that caused the disruption in their development that lead to did/osdd-1 forming

do i believe that there's a problem with endogenic did/osdd-1 systems? no! well, it's a bit complicated, but ultimately no! there's a lot of different definitions for trauma, and an endogenic did/osdd-1 isn't using the kind im talking about here!

when i say its a bit complicated, i mean that i dont think endogenic did/osdd-1 systems are bad, as much as i think we could be a lot better as a community educating on what trauma means in context of did/osdd-1. i think itd really help bridge some communicative gaps and help create a more unified community. i also think itd help endogenic did/osdd-1 systems understand themselves a bit better! did/osdd-1 doesnt just form out of nowhere, something does cause it, and not having what youd personally consider 'trauma' doesnt mean that there wasnt something that caused it! i know personally that educating myself about all this helped me understand my system better, and stopped me falling into denial spirals of 'what if it wasnt really trauma'.

now that i've finished most of what i have to say, i have to address the elephant in the room: ive linked no sources. i want to bold and emphasise that, because i believe its important to take everything with a grain of salt when its just baseless like this. personal experiences dont need a source, but in depth convos about disorders like this do! and we all should be very mindful not to just believe anything without sources backing it up!

why didnt i include sources? because its 4:23am. its way too late for me to go gather all of them, especially when im not sure if youll be receptive to what i have to say. but! if you are! please let me know! i have done a lot of studying into research behind did/osdd-1 and i have sources in mind for everything ive written here. if youre open to all this, i can track them all down and make an edited version putting them where relevant!

second to last thing i have to add that i think is really important is that there's a ton of proof for did/osdd-1 being related to trauma (remember, the definition in context!). that was always the strongest evidence we had for did/osdd-1 existing, and brain scans have given further evidence! im going to link the resource i think is the absolute best to look at in terms of brain scans and our findings, but fair warning its quite long!

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S246874992030017X

and the final thing i have to say is psychology isnt an exact science. it could be possible for someone to fit the diagnostic criteria for did/osdd-1 perfectly without anything at all causing it. but! that doesnt mean that it isnt a science and that there hasnt been a lot of research into it, or that we should just discount it altogether. i still believe its misinformation to say did/osdd-1 arent trauma disorders, because even with that chance of what happening and other definitions of trauma, it is making people really misinformed about what trauma even is in did/osdd-1

Thanks for your good-faith conversation. We genuinely appreciate it. 🤝

Let's meet in the middle here. We think a lot of y'all's points are valid and concise. Despite the time of posting! lol

And we agree that there's a lot of nuance when it comes to dissociative disorders of any kind, let alone DID and OSDD. That's why a lot of discussions end up becoming essays! Ya can't easily summarize the spectrum of plurality, nor the medical diagnoses of such.

So, when trying to discuss it in-full, research can get mirky rather quickly. And we don't get things 100%, 100% of the time-- ofc not. We're huge advocates of self-education and, so, when we see responses like this that are constructive-- rather than destructive-- we really like to pay attention.

TL;DR-- make sure that you double-check your sources and take online conversations about plurality with a grain of salt. Misinformation's a-plenty. And, at the end of the day, we're all just trying to voice our opinions.

If you feel any of what we have to say about plurality strikes a chord, then educate yourself however best you can. And speak about if you'd like; *any* plural representation-- from the range of freshly questioning to the veterans-- is better than none imo.

But!

Make sure to supplement that by actually talking to people, and accepting feedback.

You don't know what you don't know, and every day is a chance to learn something new-- even if the subject is one you're passionate about. Everybody's got a voice and you're not always going to completely agree. But listening to your peers is part of growth.

And, again, addressing this anon poster, thanks for reaching out to us, and being so honest. DM us if ya wanna chat about this more; we'd be delighted!

[silenthillmutual]

dyou have any tips on writing ocd?? i dont have it (im p sure but like adhd symptoms can be a little confusing sometimes) and i dont wanna like. get it horribly wrong

heya! thank you for asking!

i had to think about this a little bit and here are some things i came up with:

like with all neurodivergencies, most ocd rep sucks whether it’s canon or implied so don’t take your cues from things like glee (this probably goes without saying but i figured i’d state it anyway)

most ocd rep is things like clealiness or symmetry and those are obsessions that exist! but they’re far from the only obsessions that exist and it’s a little disheartening that ocd rep is just Ha Ha Isn’t It Funny We Upset This Guy By Farting. there are religious obsessions and sexual obsessions and violence-related obsessions and other sorts of obsessions, which leads me to:

ocd is really horrible and frightening to deal with and a lot of people don’t talk about it because their intrusive thoughts make them feel like they are inherently bad people and feel that talking about the intrusive thoughts is dangerous. 

like obsessions there are tons of different compulsions, not just hand-washing or shower-taking. hoarding can be compulsive, counting and re-counting can be compulsive, checking locks and stove tops can be compulsive, flicking light switches can be compulsive, apologizing can be compulsive...

some compulsions are tied to obsessions in ways that logically make sense like avoiding contamination by washing your hands, but a lot of them don’t make any sense. one i saw referenced a couple of times on ocd twitter was flicking a light switch a certain number of times to make violence-based obsessions stop.

i don’t think i mentioned this yet but the “obsessions” are obsessive thoughts, intrusive thoughts that you get and the “compulsions” are things you do to prevent them. it’s not obsession in the same way hyperfixation or special interest is an obsession (which is not to say that someone w ocd won’t hyperfixate, just that meaning here is different). so for example you can have obsessive intrusive thoughts that you are an inherently sinful person who is going to hell, and feel compelled to confess to every single sinful thing you ever think or say or do to anyone who’ll listen.

doing compulsions is really bad for you!! it reinforces the cycle.

while we’re on that topic actually: i keep trying to describe the difference between stimming and compulsions and the best way i can think to describe it as someone who does both is this -- stimming is done to self-soothe and because it’s fun! compulsions aren’t fun. you might feel anxious if you don’t stim because you’re overwhelmed, but you feel anxious if you don’t do compulsions because you’re afraid that means something bad will happen like someone will die or an accident will happen or something along those lines. compulsions only give you the illusion of feeling better. playing with your earrings because you like the jangling sound they make is stimming. spinning around in a circle exactly seven times because six and eight are “bad numbers” and you will feel bad or uneven if you don’t do it the exact right way the exact number of times is a compulsion.

do not and i mean do not ever ever ever give an ocd character an intrusive thought they act on! intrusive thoughts are not the same as impulsive thoughts! intrusive thoughts are not things you want to do (no matter how much your brain tries to convince you that secretly you do because w ocd your brain fucking hates you) and they are not things you will do, they are things that scare you!

like all other things ocd has a spectrum of severity and some people with ocd will be able to handle it with therapy and some will need medications. there’s nothing wrong with either of those.

exposure therapy is something you only do in a controlled environment with a therapist

ocd can be brought on by trauma

things can trigger your ocd

there’s also this thing some people w ocd get called hypermorality where you can get going on a rant about things that don’t fit your personal morals / ethics / etc and you feel like the anger is really self-righteous but after a while you crash and burn and you realize you’ve pushed a lot of people away

i recommend following @ocdkomaeda who is a therapist-in-training with more years diagnosed than me and also because i love them many. idk if he might have more things to look for but. yeah!!! gl

[philipkindreddickhead]

I often seen critiques of make up from an existential/philosophical perspective, but I rarely see criticism of cosmetics from a stand point of the very physical bodily harm it does. I think this is because the number of dangerous ingredients is so massive, and overlapping its an absolutely daunting task. So I've compiled the information I've found and bear with me its a lot. (This is from an American perspective. Sorry, thats what I know. However I would love it if people from other countries had things to add.)

First I want to get the "simple" stuff out of the way. I think almost everyone has heard about bacteria and fungi in makeup and that makeup causes acne from clogging pores. Makeup has a pretty strict shelf life, yet consumers are entirely supposed to self-police as Ive never seen a single expiration date on any cosmetic packaging. (I guess consumers are meant to pull this knowledge out of the ether or something. I only found out about it in a tumblr PSA. I did read that expirys are on products in Europe.) Beauty blenders are the worst offender because theyre almost always moist. When I was taught makeup I was told to wet my sponge so it would soak up less product. If you apply makeup daily your sponge is likely constantly damp. USA Today had an article which said that 96% of sponges had fungi and over 60% had E. Coli in them. But I think what people talk about less is the complication of problems from using other products in conjunction with dirty beauty blenders. USA Today warns its especially dangerous to use beauty blenders if you have damage to your skin like acne, cuts, or dry skin. However the most popular beauty products for washing your face contain walnut pieces for literally scrubbing your skin and creating microabrasions. If youre a frequent makeup user you probably know about the cyclical nature of applying foundation, breaking out, and then applying more foundation to cover the breakout. You may even be using scrubbing cleansers more frequently to combat the acne creating more tears. This can lead to "blood poisoning" and, though neither USA today or Forbes mentions this, blood poisoning (not a medical term btw. Its sepsis.) according to numerous medical sites has the potential to be extremely lethal. The symptoms are so similar to a regular flu its nearly impossible to self-diagnose.

The very first thing I was told when a friend handed me a jar of finishing powder- popular with many beauty gurus for the "baking" technique and considered a must have- was a joke about "clown lung." This was a reference to the main ingredient talc. Talc causes lung problems including cancer and respiratory illness. If anyone remembers the large Johnson and Johnson lawsuit from 2019 it was because theyd been putting talc into baby powder. Talc is dangerous because it's impossible to mine and seperate from ASBESTOS. Some high-end finishing powders will try to sell you on safe talc-free formulas but all the products I looked into contained mica instead which causes pneumoconiosis, colloquially known as "black lung disease." Like fucking coal miners get. Its not just present in finishing powder either. In my research it turned out that talc/asbestos are also present in many eyeshadows and other powder products. [Googleable, evidenced in J&J lawsuit]

Another industry to examine is nail salons. Toluene, Formaldehyde, Dibutyl Phthalate, and Methacrylate compounds are all dangerous ingredients and present in various salon products. These ingredients cause a range of problems from dizziness, drowsiness, birth defects, slow fetal growth, future intellectual disabilities in the fetus, eye skin and throat irritation, coughing, allergic reactions, asthma-like attacks, short-term memory loss, nausea, dermatitis, cancer, and misscarriage. Some nail products advertise that they are 3-free meaning that toluene, formaldehyde, and DP should be absent but often the labels are found to be completely inaccurate. It should be noted that the risk is mainly to salon workers and not patrons but ask yourself if it is right to place other people at serious risk for your aesthetic. OSHA does make an attempt to mitigate these risks however not once in my years of makeup queen did I see a salon following these directives which include constant air monitoring, half mask respirators with chemical cartridges, gloves, long sleeves, and safety glasses. (And Im not even going to touch issues of human trafficking/slave labour out of nail salons one case of which occured 5 days ago two hours away from me) It should also be noted that formaldehyde can also be found in hair relaxers and hair dyes. [Found articles in Scientific American and NYT]

I also found on the FDAs website that many cosmetics include heavy metals like arsenic, mercury, and lead. (Usually accompainied by a picture of lipstick so I assume that is the product most likely to contain it, however campaign for safe cosmetics lists foundation as containing heavy metals, and The Guardian has an article about skin lighteners from Asia and Africa containing mercury.) The website stated that the amount of these heavy metals in cosmetics is "safe" if used as intended. (and I'm going to come back to the concept of "intended use" later because thats a can of worms too) However, when searching for info on heavy metal safety I found this quote in regards to metals in food:

"Certain metals, such as arsenic, lead and mercury, have no established health benefit, and have been shown to lead to illness, impairment, and in high doses, death. Understanding the risk that harmful metals pose in our food supply is complicated by the fact that no single food source accounts for most people’s exposure to metals in foods. People’s exposure comes from many different foods containing these metals. Combining all of the foods we eat, even low levels of harmful metals from individual food sources, can sometimes add up to a level of concern"

So like, which is it? Is it a "safe amount" or is no amount of metal safe? I understand that in the case of certain foods like fish some amount of mercury poisoning is always expected but fish is also something you feed yourself and nourish your body with while cosmetics are completely unecessary to your survival. The mercury problem in fish is also mitigated by health warnings when mercury levels are particularly high but cosmetics have no such warning. Another warning on the site indicated that children should ingest NO amount of lead AT ALL because it is particularly harmful for kids yet theres no effort to stop children from using lead-containing cosmetics. I worked next to a Five Below where I was shocked to find they sold Jeffree Star and Anastasia eyeshadow dupes for five dollars which amounts to fucking pocket change for a lot of kids and kids do buy that stuff. I also think its ironic the FDA would have anything to say regarding cosmetics because in the very same article about heavy metals in cosmetics the FDA says that they DO NOT REGULATE cosmetics beyond the color additives.

Mascara, eyeliner, lipstick, and brow tint often contain carbon black. This is a color additive that is an incomplete combustion of carbon-based products. It can cause lung disease, cancer, and organ system toxicity, and eye, nose, throat irritation. The effects are mainly studied in rats and those at biggest risk are industrial workers but why do other workers have to endure lung problems for something so unecessary? [Easily googleable, NIH, CDC, WHO Europe]

This next bit I only want to mention briefly because I didnt find any particularly reputable sources about it, but its a claim that cropped up repeatedly and I think its an interesting one. Parabens, estrogen, phthalates (again), and pesticides in cosmetics are apparently linked to endocrine disorders and hormone dysregulation. Im not entirely sure what is meant by this accusation. Endocrine disorders include female diseases like PCOS and possibly endometriosis. None of these diseases is very well studied and the female endocrine system itself is not well studied either. Im not saying "cosmetics cause PCOS" because we dont know if PCOS or these other endocrine/hormonal disorders are genetic or environmental or both (it appears that PCOS is largely genetic and Endometriosis is likely autoimmune related) AND we dont appear to know for sure that cosmetic ingredients cause endocrine disorder. But I include anyway for a number of reasons:

If you happen to struggle with hormonal problems you may want to know cosmetics is a potential environment factor.

These conditions are incredibly painful. It will be a battle getting your doctor to even acknowledge that pain for diagnosis. PCOS is linked to diabetes, and heart disease. [Thanks @mother-of-pearl ] There is no cure and the treatments are often throwing hormonal birth control at it and hoping for the best.

I dont anticipate the link between cosmetics and endocrine disorders being studied any time soon or any endocrine disorders studied at all because the medical/scientific field is sexist. I dont want women to suffer in the mean time.

Now again, take this with a grain of salt because I couldnt find scientific or news sources for it. Dont fucking come for me. Im not gonna respond to you. [Most reputable source was a paper from the library of medicine at the national institutes of health but it was behind a paywall and I dont have 39 dollars to be right on tumblrdotcom]

Avoiding these ingredients is not as simple as scanning the label for them. As many beautubers and the community are no doubt aware considering multiple scandals over veganism. Products advertised as vegan or cruelty free but contain non-vegan carmine or are sold in China which legally requires the products to be animal tested. Cosmetic companies will hide ingredients claiming they are "trade secrets" or they will be placed under "fragrance." Many ingredients will be known by six or seven different names and asking consumers to be aware of seven different names for multiple ingredients requires consumers to be aware of innumerable different, often complicated ingredient names. I shouldnt have to point out that's a ridiculous burden to place on women. The EU banned 1,300 hazardous ingredients that the US did not. Cosmetic companies rely on women being unwilling/unable to bring in a list of 1,300 ingredients- with multiple names- every time they pop in to the drug store, sephora, or wherever. Buying "natural" products will not help you either. Theres no established criteria for natural/organic in costmetics, the FDA doesnt test these products, and "natural"=/= safe anyway. Plenty of plants and minerals are poisonous. One good example is traditional kohl products which advertise their natural status but also naturally contain lead and reiterating that natural powders contain mica. US courts are rarely on the side of consumers either. I found an interesting lawsuit against St. Ives for their apricot scrub taken to court for their "dermatologist tested" label despite it causing breakouts and cuts to the skin. The courts ruled that this label was fine because it only indicated that the product was TESTED not APPROVED by dermatologists. However I think any rational consumer would look at this label and assume the tests concluded it was safe for use or else why put the label on there?

[Googlable XMONDO drama, googlable laws wrt china and eu, already stated about FDA, FDA website about Kohl. Googled St. Ives lawsuit.]

I want to return to the idea of "intended use." This is sort of a fucky concept a lot of companies have ways of getting around. My "last straw" with makeup had to do with a run-in I had with Anastasia over their "Riviera" eyeshadow palette. In this pallette they had two colors that were the real feature of the palette, an electric neon purple and a radioactive pink I mean every photo, every promotion has these two colors swirled together around the eye. Because again, its an eyeshadow palette. When I buy the eyeshadow palette of course there's a little insert warning in the package that says these two shades are not intended on the eye area. In an eyeshadow palette. Contacting their customer service they told me that these two shades were meant to be used as a blush. neon purple blush. Not only that, but their website and instagram featured NO models wearing the shades as blush while EVERY model one or more of the shades as eyeshadow. When asked about this discrepancy ABH stopped responding. What I find egregious about this is the amount of people who dont know, and then more staggeringly; dont care. The sephora clerks didnt know, the in store abh representative didnt know, their customers didnt know, and when I told them they would respond with "oh, [brand] did the same thing with their [shade]." Sure enough, when I demanded that store clerks open the packaging to look for warnings nearly every product had an "eyeshadow" that was not intended for use on the eyes. Relegating dark, red-toned teal to "contour" and neon grean to "highlighter" US-based cosmetic junkies will say that these pigments have been approved for use by the EU however I found absolutely NO evidence of that. I googled it a thousand ways but all I ever found were blog posts, reddit comments, and one quote from an apparently nonEuropean layman in an Insider article. I even changed my location to France on ABH's website and the Norvina palette still contains the same warnings (not to harp on ABH in particular. I just know which shades in particular are the problem there). The Insider article noted that brands who were selling pressed pigments declined to comment. If the pressed pigments were EU friendly, I would think companies would be clamouring to say so. It also still makes their market as eyeshadow colors illegal in the US. (If any Europeans would like to chime in I'd love that.) Another problem I find with cosmetics companies and their reps is the claim that the worst thing that could happen is eye irritation for those with sensitive eyes and staining. How could they possibly know? The FDA doesnt test, or approve these cosmetics in the eye area, so ostensibly no one should be using it that way.

The next one is a bit of a "duh" but I'm going to talk about it anyway. Counterfeit cosmetics are a booming market full of untold dangers. Untold primarily because these products could contain literally anything. Ive read about glue, arsenic, lead, feces, staph, and horse urine to name a few. The labels and ingredient list on these products are fake. Legitimate brands often unintentionally play into the counterfeit market. They create artificial scarcity by making less of the product than is actually needed for consumer demand to create an even higher demand. If consumers miss out often their only chance at getting the product is to turn to counterfeits. I found examples of women who had their lips superglued, lips "turned to goo" and burned to blistering, throat closures, women with stys, contact dermatitis, eye infections. I think we as a society turn a blind eye to this problem because we think "hey, if youre buying counterfeits for a discount and you get hurt you deserve it." We imagine idiots buying products for 4 dollars from ebay or perusing Canal street for FEИTY beauty. But these counterfeits can be really convincing. I myself received a gift of a huda palette that I only recognized something was weird about it because I'd swatched it at sephora about five times earlier that month. The person who bought it for me actually paid MORE than the usual cost for the palette because it was advertised as a newer, better edition. The websites can be disturbingly similar. For instance Kylie Jenner's legitimate website is KylieCosmetics.com but you can find fakes at kyliecosmeticsshop.co.uk. These fakes can buy ad space and be one of the first sites that populate when you google the products instead of typing the legitimate site into the address bar. Counterfeits can also be bought and sold through third parties on websites like ebay, wish, and amazon. (My gift actually came from Amazon.)

[Netflix doc "Broken" ep "Makeup Mayhem" Corroborated by personal experience and google]

[samhaininthemembrane]

🎃Welcome!🖤

This is my side blog where I can talk and vent about my disability and neurodivergence, as well as reblog things related to those topics. I will state that I am not an authority on anything discussed here beyond my own lived experience. Please take anything I say with a reasonable grain of salt and remember that I am not a professional.

About Me

My name is Madi/Mati (pronounced Mad-ie/Matt-ie,which in my version of english sounds roughly the same), but you can call me Samhain (pronounced Sau-ihn) or other derivatives of my username if you prefer.

I am 28 years old. If you dont want to interact based on age, keep that in mind!

My pronouns are She/They/He. Feel free to mix them up from time to time!

I am nonbinary with femme leanings because gender is complicated and that's what I've decided is the most accurate description of my lived experience. I mention this specifically because it affects how I live with my disability. I will accept good natured questions about it.

I am queer, and I will say the word queer in reference to myself or the community. I have several different orientations and sometimes it's just too complicated to get into all of them.

I am inclusive and intersectional, as I understand that everything affects everything else in different ways and that a persons life experience can't be compartmentalized like that.

I am a vocal proponent of science based medicine, therapy, and medication as well as a proponent of informal or self diagnosis. I understand that care isnt accessible to everyone and that it's more nuanced than that. Everyone deserves respect and dignity regardless of whether or not they can or want to seek treatment for themselves.

I struggle a lot with memory problems, so it is not uncommon for me to reblog things I've reblogged before, repeat points I've already made, forget to include important tags or image descriptions, and forget to respond to messages for long stretches of time. I appreciate your patience in this regard and do not mind gentle and well intentioned reminders!

My ask box is generally open, and anons are fine! It might take me a bit to answer, but I will do my best to do so! I promise I'm not ignoring you!

What I Have?

First off, I will say that no one is entitled to this information, and I am choosing to make it known because I want to. No one is ever entitled to info you deem private and the idea that you have to prove you're "___ enough" to strangers is, frankly, fucked up. I'm okay with being open about it because I'm an adult and incredibly open about it in my daily life, but you dont have to be.

I'll put this below a read more as to not conjest things too much. 🖤

Known disabilities/neurodivergences:

ADHD (Inattentive Type) - Got diagnosed as a kid but I didnt know it. Didn't get treatment until I was an adult. I have been getting treatment for this, and my mental health toolkit is pretty established. It is still definitely something I struggle with that hinders a lot of aspects of my life, but therapy and meds changed my life.

Spinal Injury - Happened when I was 20 for no reason. Have had surgery that helped with most of it, but still experience effects of it. (Herniation between L4-L5 if you're curious)

Chronic Vestibular Migraines - Started in July of last year, very frequent. Currently seeking treatment for it, but since it's not a super well understood type of migraine, it's hard to treat.

Generalized Anxiety, Depression, and S.A.D. - I lump these all together because they kind of go together. Also I've never known another disabled person who didnt have some variety of this (although most disabled people I know became disabled later in their lives.)

Geographic Tongue and Various Allergies - I have to careful to not make my tongue flare up beyond what is tolerable when I eat, and there is not a time of year when I don't have to take allergy meds. My allergies have never put me in the hospital, but I do get hives, restricted breathing, etc. (Yes, I am aware that Geographic Tongue is an outdated diagnosis, but its easier than explaining the nuance of it).

Dental Issues - I don't know about a specific diagnosis but my teeth are for sure bad.

Mild Scoliosis - Enough that it affects me, not enough to get treatment about it.

General chronic pain and fatigue

Suspected disabilties/neurodivergences (i.e. not formally diagnosed):

Autism - My therapist and I have been talking about it and I'm currently deciding if I want to seek out a formal diagnosis or not, seeing as it's known to be a difficult process. This would be in addition to the ADHD.

Auditory Processing Disorder - it's a pretty common comorbidity with ADHD and I'm pretty sure I have it.

Dyscalcula - never formally diagnosed, but suspicion is there.

Something more than just a migraine disorder, since I have a lot of various issues and the meds I get prescribed for migranes dont work well and have horrible side effects.

Some sort of autoimmune disorder, since I get sick incredibly easily (about one big sickness a season) and it wipes me out every time. I also get skin infections incredibly easily and that's gotta be a thing, right?

[neoistic]

what's going on with STAYs?

the hyunjin (and woojin) situation - a (very long) rant

DISCLAIMER : This post was not meant to slander Hwang Hyunjin or Stray Kids, it is intended to educate others on their problematic behaviour.

I'm gonna start at the beginning of all this. So unless you a.) live under a rock or b.) unlike the rest of us you have a life, then you have possibly heard of the idol bullying scandals. If you dont know what that is, I'll give a brief summary. A bunch of idols were being accused by former middle school or high school classmates of bullying. It started with Soojin of (G)I-dle and then the whole thing started rippling. Aisha of Everglow, Kihyun of MonstaX, Mingyu of SEVENTEEN, and many more. It's even gone as far as SA allegations. Basically everyone and their mothers were being dragged into the mess. However some of these accusation were later to be proven as false. Others have been somewhat half-true. The point is the majority of these idols end up going on a hiatus and stopped contributing in their groups activities for a while. It was a very frustrating situation. There's been apologies, addresses, fights occurring left and right. While these idols were being accused, everybody was like "let's wait for the official statement from the comany and see what is up, and then we make our decision from there. So for now lets stay our best to be neutral". That was the norm for a majority of fandoms. And then there were STAYs.

_____________________________________________________________ I think we've learned in the last five months that STAYs are anything but a normal fandom. After what has happened and the way they chose to behave entirely was embarassing. I feel like toxic STAYs really ruined the name of this fandom when the Woojin situation happened. But after Hyunjin was accused of bullying, they pretty much just shredded any redeeming qualities that fandom had left—all of it—everything went down the drain. Soon enough I feel like people are going to be embarassed to become a STAY or to mention that they're a STAY, because those motherfuckers really screwed this up If some of you're really confused right now, as to why I called STAYs toxic. It's because the base of this fandom is pretty privilege. Ok, let's start with the definition. What is pretty privilege? Pretty privilege is the principle that people who are deemed more attractive (based on societal beauty standards) have an upper hand in the world and are afforded many opportunities that us regular folks don't have. Like most other biases, pretty privilege is something we're all aware of—whether we have experienced it first-hand or not. Yet, it's not often that we are willing to admit or even talk about it, especially if we're on the receiving end of its benefits. This bias, also known as lookism, is defined as “Prejudice or discrimination on the grounds of a person's appearance” and occurs in a variety of settings such as social environments, workplaces and especially in this godforsaken fandom. Let me explain; everything that they do for the boys is simply based on looks. And how do i know that? Because when the baseless accusations that targeted woojin came out one of the things that i kept hearing over and over again was that they always thought he was 'ugly'. And that to me is very intersting because this fandom found him ugly but they didn't say anything, because he was in the same group as their faves. So they kept their mouths shut, and they acted as if they loved him they told him all the sappy bullshit. When he left they decided to pull an "Okay let's tell him how much we miss him, then dump it, and leave it there."

Consequently by cause of his so called 'wrongdoings' you're now telling people "Oh I found him ugly all along, but now I can finally admit it" which is an incredibly pathetic move. They were throwing shit everywhere based off unsubstantiated allegations. Through this I realised that everything goes down to looks. Because when this exact same thing happened to Hyunjin and his accusations, which at the time we did not know the legitimacy of it, the first thing they chose to tweet was"uhmm hyunjin is too cute to be a bully," say what now? You wanted to tell me you decide whether someone is capable of bullying based on their looks, how is that supposed work. Not everybody's heart is as beautiful as their face, I'm just saying. Like why on earth would you think that Hyunjin isn't a bully based on the fact that he's handsome but you believe the accusation about Woojin based off the fact that he is quote 'ugly'. You see the parallel difference between their behaviour towards them and that's because all they care about is looks and they will do just about anything to garner the attention of these boys. Yes, you're right, the reason behind their doings is because they know pefectly well that Stray Kids read their comment. Their defending them because they are desperately wanting their faves to pay attention to them. And they think by letting Hyunjin get away with everything, he would thank them for it.

_____________________________________________________________

Exhibit B; When the posts against Woojin came out the very first thing they told us was that, you have to believe the victim no matter what. It got to the point where even when we tried to reason with them about how there was no solid evidence, all they said was how they would rather believe a possible liar then a possible r4pist. ikr, oh. my. gosh. However when it's Hyunjin's turn to get blamed, believing the victim doesn't matter anymore. The actuality that people were already putting a judgement on the victim, and refusing to hear them out is just shocking to me.

The energy was completely different, for some crazy reason it didn't matter when it came to Hyunjin. When it came to Woojin we had to believe the victim because it's so damn important, and it got to the point that people were saying they believed Stray Kids that he 'bullied' them. Although Stray Kids didn't say anything, they never said a peep, a word, nothing. Everyone kept saying I believe Felix saying #8, i believe Chan and his vlive, are you for real? First of all what is Felix supposed to say then?? The group has 8 members not nine, is he supposed to put #9 in? #13? #24?? And with Chan he has already clarified that his statement on vlive that time wasn't about Woojin.

Then they were diagnosing them them of depression they were victimizing the poor boys of something they were not a victim of. So not are they speaking for them, they're telling us that you believe them off what you've stuff in their mouths, not things they said themsleves. On the other hand when Hyunjin was accused of bullying no we don't believe them we believe Hyunjin. What? Do you know him personally or what? You dont! I don't know what's the matter with you people. This fandom is just a no. You guys are left with no redeeming qualities whatsoever. Then you know what it gets even worse because if you think this is bad. It's not even half of it. How does it get worse? They were people saying that "It's bullying, its normal everybody does it," I don't know what universe you live in, but where I live down here, on earth bullying isn't something that everybody comes around and do. It's not a phase in life. "From ages 15-20 you're a bully" That doesn't happen it's not a chapter in life that everyone goes through like puberty, that's not what happens with bullying. You dont just wake up and go through a phase in you life that is inevitable, that you have to be a bully and a jerk to everybody, that's not a thing. You can't just sit here and justify bullying. Because how are you supposed to sit here and say that bullying is normal and that everybody does but when Woojin does it... You see where I'm going with this right? They said it wasn't okay for Woojin to bully Stray Kids and that he is a horrible person "how could he?" But then you bend over and said "Bullying is okay because Hyunjin is the one doing it" When he is on the receiving end it wasn't okay, though when he was the one administering it was completely fine and forgivable.

Do you not see how problematic you're being right now? You're justifying bullying because you think he's pretty? Are you playing with me? I read his statement and he apologized for his immature and insensitive demeanor, even he wasn't justifying it. the reason behind me mentioning this is because even JYP themselves specified that they would do a better job at picking trainees. That alone says something. They forthrightly threw him under the bus. Why would they do something like that? Because the allegations were true. Here's the thing, Hyunjin has not admitted to bullying anybody, what he has admitted to was being immature and hurting people with the way he spoke. That statement felt like he was beating around the bush about a lot of things. It's like "ok i hurt someone, I can't justify it, therefore I'm sorry" Okay but did u bully anybody? yes or no? That wasn't clarified. You guys can decide for your selves, but this was Hyunjin's and his former teacher's statement.

_____________________________________________________________

The message I'm trying to get accross from all this is that Stray Kids have way more power over you than you realized, and that is definitely not okay. To the point where you are throwing your morals away, just to defend them. You know what? no idol should have influence over you like that. I don't care how good looking, how hot, how sweet, how talented they are. I don't care if they grew up with a single mother and a story so sad it will make Simon Cowell cry. I don't care how many time they have supported the lgbtq+ community. I don't give a damn about how adorable they act on camera with their members. You can not validate immoral actions whatsoever. And no, you absolutely can not sit here being a desperate, self-absorbed, pick-me, dusty girl for a man who doesn't even know you.

Exhibit C; Before we end this I want to clarify something. STAYs did not became toxic because of the Woojin fiasco, this fandom always was toxic, and the Woojin situation simply revealed that. The facts are that they were always toxic, they were always messed up, they were always fake. The wreckage with Woojin showed us their true colors. That is the reality, my friends. As of now this fandom is directly taking the crown for trashiest fandom alive in kpop. At this degree I honestly don't know what else to say. I have no respect left for them. I do though want to say that I am genuinely sorry to all the kind STAYs, I'm sorry that you have to deal with this. Because in the near future I don't see this issue going away. Since Stray Kids is becoming more and more popular and it's never going to stop they're going to keep getting bigger and bigger, the story will just become more aparent. Thank you for listening to my long rant. And at the end of the day all I can say to STAYs is good luck, cause you'll need it.

_____________________________________________________________

anywho stream Still Dream

Sources:

https://www.myimperfectlife.com/features/pretty-privilege

https://www.koreaboo.com/series/stray-kids-hyunjin-bullying-allegation/

[sohin-ace]

I loved your skincare hcs,, could you give some actual skincare advice? I have dry, sensitive, acne prone skin and I sort of want to cry some days because of it :((

*cracks knuckles* Oh, you have unleashed the beast my gangster...

I am such a skin care guru.

Personnal tips on Dry, Acne Prone and Sensitive skin.

Before I start, know that I am in no way a dermatologist and my advices are based on my own personnal studies and experiences.

First of all

Those are the very basics and I will assume if you ask me for help, that means you already do those things and these have been repeated enough so I will be brief but,

Drink water

Cut sugars, greasy food/fast food, and dairy.

Sleep properly.

Now, those are obvious, I'll be assuming you already follow those advices by now. 

Please note that if you don't, everything that I state below will be useless.

External treatment

1. Acne

For your acne you need to do a 'face mapping'. Track the places on your face where you break out to understand where your acne comes from.

Forehead/Temples= Poor diet, having bangs, not rinsing your hair products properly

Nose = Poor Diet

Cheeks = Hormones, germs from phone, unclean pillow case

Chin/Jaw = Hormones

Now that you have an idea of the potential sources of your problems you can work on that. Now how to treat the current acne spots/zits?

DONT TOUCH THEM

I INSIST

Use acne patches, I recommend CosRX’s ones (that you can find on yesstyle)

Use panthenol, also called Vitamin B5. It has amazing healing properties and I highly suggest you use it on your acne (especially if you made the mistake to pop it) and any other open wounds. If you live in Europe I recommend Laroche Posay.

DONT POP YOUR ZITS

Use a clean cloth/towel and warm it up with hot water. Gently press the warm towel on your spot until it cools down, then repeat for 20 minutes, or as many times as you can in the day. This will warm up the sebum and melt it, the heat will bring it to the surface and it will be easier to treat it.

Some are skeptical to this, but 100% cold pressed Tea tree oil did help for a while, but I don’t use it anymore though

NEVER TOUCH YOUR ACNE

Niacinamide helps tremendously with regulating my acne and get rid of pores, but I don’t think sebum is your problem with your dry skin.

2. Dryness

I don’t have dry skin myself, so there is only so much I will tell you in terms of recommendation.

Centella Asiatica (vegan)

Hyaluronic Acid (marine if you’re vegan)

Dermal Lipids and Amino Acids

Propolis (not vegan)

Snail Mucin (not vegan)

Glycerin (Vegeta pleasel!!)

Oils with a Oleic >>> Linoleic acid Ratio (Avocado, Hazelnut, Macadamia, Olive, Sweet Almond, Palm Fruit, Marula, Sea Buckthorn, Green Tea) or more balanced ratio (good for combo skin: Jojoba, Flaxseed, Tamanu, Argan, Coconut, Castor, Sesame)

You shall abuse the use of toners. I would recommend you turn yourself towards Korean Skincare brands for Toners, but I will come back to that.

3. Sensitivity

Now, this is tricky. There are many degrees of sensitivities and unless you give me more details, I cannot diagnose your specific case. However,

There are two main factors that can highly affect your skin sensitivity.

UV Exposure

Exfoliation (over exfoliating or harsh treating of your skin)

When your skin is sensitized, it could be that your natual skin barrier has been damaged.

PLEASE, always wear sunscreen. Including in WINTER, and at HOME. I insist.

Paula’s Choice has a vast catalog of amazing sunscreens as well as the brand Purito. Choose SPF 50 PA+++ spectrum and try to find a foundation with SPF Protection as well.

Prioritize Chemical exfoliator over Physical exfoliator. DO NOT combine both or I swear to God Almighty watching me from Heaven, you will suffer. This is a threat.

When using AHAs and BHA/ Salycilic Acid, be mindful of the percentage and start very low and gently. I’d recommend you use soft AHAs like Lactic Acid (5%, then slowly work your way through 10%, then more), and if you’re Vegan, Glycolic acid at ~10% (then more).

In case you feel sensitive and strong burns, I recommend calming serums and please ABUSE Madecassoside creams.

I recommend A’pieu for Madecassoside and Laroche Posay’s Lipikar AP+ for reactions (also helps for skin conditions like psoriasis and if you self-harm this can soothe your wounds immensely!)

 Conclusion

You read through all this? Congratulations, my gangster! 

I will recommend the brands The Ordinary, Laroche Posay, Paula’s choice, CosRX as well as many Korean Brands that I cannot list.

Those are more tan enough for every budget and I would recomment you invest the most money on Exfoliators and Sunscreens. Everything else can be low-priced and aren’t worth more than $8-12 approx.

If you are in your twenties I would highly suggest you start your Vitamin C journey (it is quite the journey)

I love skin care, it is such an adventure for me and I always have so much fun establishing my routine.

Remember that skin is the biggest organ of your body, and like any other organ, you have to take care of it and treat it kindly. Use gentle motions when you manipulate your face, don’t rub, don’t man-handle yourself, gently pat and massage your face it will thank you ;)

Good luck to you my gangster!

[a-dotrivenitupontop]

30 days of autism acceptance

day 10- representation

frankly I don’t really know how to answer this. like sure, im getting a bit sick of all these white men fiddling with a rubix cube but i dont think there’s really a wrong way to do representation. obviously, if it’s an infantilised (is that how you spell it) and downright mocking portrayal of autism where the creator took info from autism speaks then yeah it’s probably gonna be utter shit. but hey maybe someone will feel represented.

whenever someone asks me what my favourite x is i sorta forget anything that is x. so uh yeah i can’t really remember any canon pieces of representation. most of my favourites are ones where it’s heavily implied/coded. like evan hansen or michael holden. (but remember that this doesn’t excuse nt creators from failing to address autism and simply labelling those characters as ‘weird’. pls make your rep intended and obvious. dont do the autistic version of queerbaiting- uhhm autibaiting?? -in hopes of getting brownie points)

however a piece of representation that had potential would probably be sugar motta from glee. the show could've explored how sugar was left to self diagnose due to being afab. i feel like the actress could’ve sone some pretty good work as well. but yeah. it sorta-kinda-definitely sucked. ok maybe there are some wrong ways to represent the autistic community.

it’s sorta hard for me to think of words to describe how id like to see some more rep. currently all i can think of is: show the problems. show the meltdowns. don’t pretend it’s a superpower. show the character have difficulty with things. i can’t really remember the last time i saw an autistic character actually experience things like overstimulation, hyprfixations, stimming etc. the only thing closest to hyperfixations ive seen is the character be reeeaaallyyy investing in something like science or maths. but i want to see the character talk about their special interests with other characters. bonus points if it’s a new made up fandom because that also helps with world building!

all in all i just want creators to look at autistic stereotypes and twist them. not deviate from them completely but just twist them. I just want allistic and nt creators to listen to autistic people. base those traits for their character off an autistic person. if they don’t know an autistic person irl, check places like social media (*cough* yo samdy sam *cough*). but on that note, please don’t use us a way to write a character. please treat us like human beings. thanks.

[flockofdoves]

take this with an extremely small grain of salt because i dont know how to articulate myself and its not something i’m saying definitively its just a thought i have sometimes but don’t know what to do with but

autism and adhd are literally not functionally different at all while each label might come at things externally from a different perspective on what it focuses on, even beyond the fact that like barely any contemporary psychiatric diagnosis is actually based on a distinct neurobiological cause, even more than a lot of other diagnoses theres just nothing distinct to me as someone dx-ed/un-dx-ed/re-dx-ed with both autism and adhd whos been involved with some irl and online communities for both to some extent.

but also at the same time even if it doesn’t always match up with who individually gets dx-ed with what (also i think self diagnosis can be incredibly useful to be clear but since i’m kinda talking about the role of mental health professionals like psychologists in our society my wording is more focused on that) just because i kinda see the emphasis on why each of these are seen as disordered very simplistically being centered around people with adhd being “unproductive” in this capitalist system and autistic people being seen as a threat to how class society perpetuates itself through a variety of systems of oppression by not going along with a lot of social norms used in that process (getting off topic but since i think my wordings bad to get an idea of stuff i mean, i think soooo much about the statistics about ppl dx-ed autistic being more likely to be trans/gnc and vice versa)

so like even if it doesnt fit neatly into peoples personal struggles vs diagnoses because of that general trend in diagnoses plus societal perspectives on both, sometimes i want to express frustration with how both in personal experience growing up and in some people with bigger platforms with adhd how they sometimes put autistic people under the bus or just frame their experiences in really bootlicker-esque ways i really really don’t resonate with way more often than i see the same with autistic circles

(also to be clear even beyond making it clear on an individual level theres no real difference between us, that doesnt mean there aren’t issues the other way, shit like aspergers supremacy is extremely harmful and effects dialogue on this subject and didn’t come from a distinction between adhd and autism, or theres how so much media really focuses on “savant” autistic people who can be “redeemed” for productivity in society in ways not usually afforded to adhd. i’d be willing to change my point of view but i do think since “savant” autistic people are much rarer it is more often people perceived as more autistic than adhd get the short end of the stick, but its not a concrete dynamic just something i wanted to articulate venting about)

but yeah. i don’t really think its helpful for me to express that personal frustration without all that prefacing but its just weird and i think about it sometimes

but also this doesnt mean i want to reify those arbitrary distinctions between those diagnoses in the slightest, i think its a really good thing for people who feel comfortable with it to talk about their experiences in a way that acknowledges theres no real difference between us and literally dont care if anyone dx-ed with one also uses the other label. on an individual level we all have different things we struggle with more and less than others and practicing compassion with that is something that even in times of my life where people characterized me on the whole as being very autistic that i needed to remind myself of when interacting with other autistic people who went about things a different way, so on an individual level i dont think anyone should need to worry about “overstepping” by being someone diagnosed adhd who decides to participate in discussions framed around autism or uses terminology associated with autism (or vice versa) because as long as you keep in mind that compassion we all should be having regardless of diagnosis i think its a really good way to build solidarity among us and have discussions that look beyond how our society is currently structured. anyone who wants to participate in bridging that gap isn’t part of the problems i sloppily am expressing frustration with above and i think thats really important for me to emphasize because talking about the problems i think the distinctions psychiatry makes between us in our society creates shouldn’t just sound like me reifying those distinctions

[wrecker-radioactive]

BNHA X Green Lantern

Hey folks! Radioactive here with some Au ideas. I’d would like to thank @kibastray for the inspiration from their Miraculous Ladybug fic. 

Now these are just some tidbits of ideas. I am working on getting out of my writing hiatus and maybe this will help.

Feel Free to use any of the ideas for yourself!!!! All I ask is a link or @ to read them! Thank you! Enjoy~

For these AUs the focus will be on Midoriya Izuku. Though it would be neat to use other characters, Izuku is the focus today. 

Green[WILL] Corp AU---normal amount of angst

>Midoriya is still quirk-less but doesn’t meet All Might. 

>Instead, He goes to mope on the school roof top after getting his notebook back from swimming with the koi.

>Not sure if this is where he starts contemplating anything suicidal like or other job/career prospects but

>He gets conveniently knocked over the head with the Green Lantern Ring

>Says the oath and gets dragged into space by the ring-after recharging it

>Meets up with the current Green Lanterns and gets some decent training in before he remembers his mother is waiting for him so they give him Earth sector’s Green Lantern’s number to discuss training and to just talk to for help.

>This AU follows the original plot with the differences being Izuku is more so focused on bringing Justice no matter what. He is more so Grey lining. Willing to learn the law and stand up for those mistreated by it. Izuku is willing to work to change it for the better. To improve the law.

>Personality wise, He is High Key Nervous but Willing and Ready to Punch(think greyhound in yellow sweater) Is EXTRA Creative and more focused on Analysis in defeating villains or preventing building collapses 

>He is closer bros with Momo in this one. Creation Friends all the way.

>His Creations/Projections are weird. Like they are Out-Landish choices for doing what ever to defeat the opponent(s). Kinda like Miraculous Ladybug.

>His outfit is the regular standard for Green Lanterns but under it is his Hero Suit that has ALL THE POCKETS. You need a bandage? He’s got twenty. Disaster Child is Prepared Child but still problematic

Blue [HOPE] Corps----mild angst

>Rescue Focused Hero

>BIG {Magic of Friendship} Speeches TM

>PRONE to Greater Injuries now that he has power but it is mainly to prevent others from harm. Lacks self preservation this one does.

>Still Nervous but it is more overthinking and about others. Even if he doesn’t know them, you chat with this kid for two minutes and he’s already worrying about your health, your family, your goldfish

>Most likely to be a Vigilante than actual hero due to his insight on Quirk Laws and the impact they have on society. He ends up saving people more and visiting hospitals to bring hope to kids. 

>He likes to knit and crochet hats for the kids. Sunshine child levels at Maximum

>Most likely to accidentally become a villain due to being vocal on the mistreatment of others at the hands of heroes or the lack of safety measures put in to protect kids from abuse ei from negative enforcement from teachers or bullies.

>Outfit is standard with a calm blue to help put people at ease around him. Difference is that he wears a helmet--motorcycle helmet. Maybe to hide his identity maybe for further protection.

Star Sapphire Corps--ALL THE ANGST 

>Izuku becomes a Star Sapphire at a young age. Right after being told he will never have a quirk, with teachers and other parents talking badly about Inko over having a quirkless child and Izuku who would be five at the time so is thinking Momma Midoriya doesn’t want him and that his dad doesn’t want him either since he left shortly after Izuku was diagnosed. Add in our resident angry boi telling Izuku he’s useless and basically breaking off ties. All leads to a sad kid

>This leads to Izuku’s heart witnessing the breaking of his soul bonds from all those he loves. 

>He gets turned into a giant crystal that transforms him into a Star Sapphire and the ring basically becomes his mentor. From there on, Izuku trains to become stronger. he doesn’t run away because he wants to fix the system. So no one has to hurt like he does. 

>So Izuku decides to change the system from the inside out. Become a top ranking Hero, and then start leading more positive changes to the laws and how people view quirks. 

>He is very lonely in this AU until he and Inko actually sit down and talk about what Izuku wants and Inko shows her support for his dreams. It is one of the few bonds Izuku allows to heal and mend. Up to the person if Katsuki ever mends fences or if Izuku’s dad does anything. 

>Izuku is a tired nervous. Very done with life but very much would like a hug. If you hug this sad kid he will never let go. 

>It isn’t until after USJ arc that Izuku finally meets other Lantern holders 

>Scene<

Izuku shuffled after Aizawa-sensi holding back the panic swelling inside him. The voice of his ring--loving dubbed Star--cooed and murmured support and reassurances that if anything he feared happened that they would simple run away to space. They often tried to get Izuku to leave Earth and take to the stars but he wanted to change things on Earth. To change himself for the better. Taking a fortifying breath, Izuku followed Aizawa-sensi into the meeting room.

Three people turned to face the new arrivals. John Stewart nearly fainted at the sight of the small green haired kid following Easerhead. He didn’t want to believe a child had been chosen let alone for a Star Sapphire. Stars went through so much pain and for a kid not even sixteen to go through that? It broke his heart. A quick glance at his companions Salaak whose nerves shown in the twitching of his four hands and Brother Warth of the Blue Corps. Brother Warth’s trunk scrunched up at the sight of the tiny human child bearing the pink ring and if his training wasn’t so strong his rage would have most certainly taken over. 

Izuku froze at the sight of the African American human in green and black, a dark pink humaniod with four arms, and a huge elephant like person in the blue version of the other’s outfit. They all had rings too. Does that mean he’s not alone? There are others who share his experinces? It was too much yet at the same time numbing after the whole facing a group of villains on a school field trip. 

“Midoriya, these are the Lantern Corp members currently available to talk with you about your powers and situation.” Easerhead introduced nodding to the three before taking a step back to allow Izuku room to move but keeping within eye sight of everyone. He was here to just listen since he was still in recovery. 

“Hello Midoriya, I’m John and these are my friends Salaak and Brother Warth.” With introductions out of the way, John stepped up to kneel in front of Izuku allowing a few feet of distance between them. “I heard about what you’ve been through, and I know what it takes to be a bearer of take ring. I’m sorry we didn’t find you sooner.” 

It wasn’t the best apology nor would it be the last. To have left a child alone with the powers of the ring was a grossly irresponsible act. They would do whatever it took to help Izuku heal and grow into a hero. no, Into a healthy kid. Izuku deserved to be a kid. 

Izuku couldn’t stop the tears from falling. After having teacher after teacher condemn him and never step up to protect him, after almost running away from his own mother based on misunderstandings and assumptions, and to the years consistently being told he deserved to suffer for not conforming to society thanks to the uncontrollable factors of genetics; to be understood. To have someone on his side outside of his mom. It was no wonder he threw his arms around John and bawled his eyes out. 

-End Scene-

>His outfit is the most different. From my research on the outfits, Star Sapphires have no care for modesty and is mostly female based so take that as you will. So, Izuku’s form will have gauntlets in a purple-black that go up to his armpits and leave his shoulders bare. A magenta halter top with black/purple edging that ends just below his ribs. Skin tight shorts same color as gloves that stop at his knees before becoming knee pads with multi point starburst in silver on the fronts with the background being magenta. Knee high boots in magenta and silver buckles. Standard face thing in either black or magenta. The tips of his fade into magenta. [this is the best I could come up with. im sorry]

Indigo Corps [Compassion]

>Not sure how this one would go about anything since the corp is entirely based on an alien tribe in another system. BUT Compassion and chains. 

>Basically Izuku slapping people with emotions to change their ways. I dont even know where this is going. Vigilante? 

That’s all I have so far folks. Hope you enjoyed it! Don’t forget to Stay Safe 

[kyokorambles]

Writing Characters with Mental Illness

This is just a general guide and please feel free to correct me and or add to the list! This is meant to be used as a cheat sheet for authors who would like some general guidance when it comes to the above topic.

I just read a statistic that stated  46.4% of people in the USA will experience some form of mental illness in there adult life time. That’s almost half of us! Yet its not something we to want to talk about, and it seems to be under-represented in mainstream media. 

If you are looking for a piece of fiction that focuses on a characters struggle with mental illness, you will have better luck with self published works or fan fiction. While some authors get it just right, I see more often then not authors that ether romanticize it, misrepresent it, or my personal pet peeve of making it a personality quirk. 

Here is a list of my personal Do’s and Don’t for writing mental illness. Again, feel free to correct me, add to the list, or share your thoughts! 

Things I try and avoid: 

Avoid Romanticizing or Eroticizing mental illness. This not only sends the wrong message to your readers who are from the 53.6% of the population that are not effected by mental illnesses, but it perpetuates harmful stereotypes. No one is going to swoop into your life and ‘fix’ you, and we need to stop setting that expectation… Panic attacks are not endearing or cute, self harm is a serious red flag, not something that makes you beautiful or unique. The person is suffering dont invalidate that. You know what is romantic and beautiful? Partners/friends/family that are encouraging you to seek professional help and going with you to your first doctors appointment, SO’s who help there partners fight there illness by reminding them to take there medication, eat, or rest, Partners who hate your self harm scars as much as you do, but remind you that YOU are beautiful and they aren’t something to be ashamed of. This last one is just as important but reversed. SO’s who remind you that your struggle is valid even if you don’t have battle scars that others can see.

Avoid writing outside of your understanding. This does not mean you have to suffer a mental illness to include one in your work, but research is key. Ask a friend who might struggle with it. If you don’t have one, just ask Tumbler. I am sure someone will be happy to give you an inside scoop. 

Avoid making the entire story about the mental illness. It’s not that you can’t… but remember that your MC is not there mental illness so its a good idea to have the main plot unrelated to their head space. Good news is that people live there lives every day with mental illness! So it’s far more realistic to write a main plot of Rags to riches, Voyage and return, or what every you fancy, and have the characters struggle with mental illness as a subplot. 

Avoid making any mental illness a quirk. Just like making it seem ‘romantic’ its just as harmful to write red flags off as part of a characters personality. When we do this we are minimizing the issue. The teenager that is constantly in there room and isolating themselves? The coworker that seems to constantly be frazzled and jumping from project to project without really completing one? The ‘wine aunt’ who pops in and out of the family and is always sloshed? Those are not “just the way they are” “There personalities” or “quirks.” They are red flags and again 53.6% of the population will probably assume that if the rest of your work is well written, you know what you’re talking about so it must be like that in real life too. 

Things I try to include: 

Accuracy!! I follow the ‘write what you know’ rule personally and I also shamelessly project onto my characters. I am brutally honest about the good, the bad, and the ugly and lay my characters bear to show exactly what is going through their brain so the reader is with them every step of the way. Sometimes that means showing them being irrational, selfish, afraid, or doing hurtful things to others/loved ones. if your MC is the one with the mental illness, then sometimes it means showing the reader an inaccurate picture of the situation through your MC’s pov and that is ok. Unreliable narrators are a thing and a useful tool! 

Do show them learning to manage and thrive with there mental illness!  Maybe they manage with coping mechanisms they teach themselves, maybe with medication, maybe they learn ways to recognize and redirect there behavior after going to therapy. You can do this in so many ways, but I always make a point to show that characters may still have bad days, weeks, or even months, but that they learned how to deal with there issues in a healthy way. A lot of personality disorders, mental illness and the likes have no cure. There are tons of treatment options to help manage, but learning to live with it and make it work is something that doesn’t get enough light. 

Subtlety is king and adds a whole new depth to your work. Here is the thing. When your depressed your are not thinking “man I am so depressed” most of the time. Some people don’t even realize that the way they feel isn’t ‘normal’. Ever head of show dont tell? I am sure most of us have gotten this critique on our work at one time or another, and this is really something to take to heart. Its one thing to say “I am depressed” it is another thing to walk the reader though what life is actually like when you are depressed especially if they have never been depressed. Take time to show how little things pile up over time until its ‘too much.’ Show the character as they hit there braking point after a hard fought struggle. 

Show how mental illness comes into play in a relationship both romantic and platonic. You can do this without romanticizing it I swear. As important as it is to depict mental illness accurately, it is just as important to show how trying to help someone with there mental illness can be a real struggle. There is a big difference between someone swooping in to ‘save’ the character, and an SO stepping up to help support the character. Also depicting healthy boundaries/support in platonic relationships is something we don’t see often.

These were just a few things that flew into my mind and pet peeves that irk me when I am reading a story. Just do your research and avoid harmful stereotypes and your piece will really stand out. 

Keep in mind that there is a lot of misinformation on the web. Some sources I like to use for mental health research are listed below but just remember to get your information from the most reliable source available.

Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition: DSM-5~  This is where you can find toooons of information about how almost all mental disorders are categorized, diagnosed, and the recommended treatment. I have a paper back copy that I picked up for under $30 on Amazon but there are free PDF versions available for download.  This is perfect if you want a holistic look at the topic, but can be overwhelming if you are not used to this sort of reading. 

The Mayo Clinic website ~ is another wonderful tool that is a lot easier to navigate. Rather then searching the site directly you can type the name of the disorder you are trying to get info on with the words ‘mayo clinic’ directly after into google and it will usually pull it right up. While they pull there info from the above source, they sort and organize it based on relevance. 

The National Institute of Mental Health is another good one to check out. NIHM’s site is very user friendly with lots of good information and resources. 

Public health is not one I have used but it has been recommended to me in the past. 

I hope this gets you pointed in the right direction. I plan on doing several of similar ‘Do’s and Don’ts’ for common mental health issues so feel free to let me know if you want anything specific.

[thelittlehansy]

Narcissism in the Westregraad family part 1

If Hans is several times called a sociopath/psychopath ( i had make a post about it on my blog explaining that hans dont represent with accuracy sociopath/psychopath behavior)  i also saw him be qualified to be a narcissist and having narcissistic personality disorder a lot of times. and i m not gonna lie this is my reaction about people assuming hans has NPD

😅😁

First because i have an history with that disorder my parents who are psychiatrist talk a lot with me about it at a period where i think i had a friend who was one.But mainly because we label very easily person with the term “narcissist” There is this trend in my country  to accuse ex-boyfriend who are manipulative and are product of toxic masculinity  to be narcissist. when NPD is a true disorder , a psychiatrist illness along with anti social personality disorder and it’s so annoying when people think they can say if someone is narcissist based on what they thing the disorder is when we need true psychiatrist to diagnose it.

I took what a website (helpguide.org) said about narcissist personality disorder symptoms and the explanation and not a silly website  “ wants to knows if you ex is one”

since hans is a fictional character and therefore do not exist  in real life took informations about the disorder and makes them apply to Hans personality is the closest  thing we have to say if he is one or not.

So does hans have narcissist personality disorder ?

first i want to say this is more difficult to say if hans is one that with psychopath/sociopath symptoms because there are way more difficult to catch and less obvious and we can easily become parano ( i say that based on personal experience )  thats why also we need to look at all hans relationship to people not only at his relationship with his ex girlfriend.

Grandiose sense of self-importance

Grandiosity is the defining characteristic of narcissism. More than just arrogance or vanity, grandiosity is an unrealistic sense of superiority. Narcissists believe they are unique or “special” and can only be understood by other special people. What’s more, they are too good for anything average or ordinary. They only want to associate and be associated with other high-status people, places, and things.

based on the movie : we don’t know.  Hans want to be king but we don’t knows why we can say that hans want to be the hero of arendelle because he feel grandiose but this is only an assumption he could also feel useless and that’s why he want so much to be king and a hero. we can add also that Hans is not bothers by the idea of being associated with arendelle citizens. the movie never contradict the scene where he show concern for arendelle citizens and wants to take her of the peasant.

  other information we have from a frozen heart : Hans feel useless as the 13th son of King he think he is useless , worthless a throwaway He feel we will never be needed. Hans feels inferior to his older brothers. It seems Hans wants attention only of basic people ? Nothing is say about him believing he think only special person can understand him. We only knows he wants the attention of his family.

complementary information : there is the argument that Narc have low self esteem yes but they are not conscious and aware like how hans is aware about his low self esteem. Hans dont compensate his low self esteem. also “ Recent research discounts the earlier theory and now indicates that if you are suffering from narcissistic personality disorder, you likely also have high self-esteem – both on the surface and below the surface.” source : Psyc

Narcissists also believe that they’re better than everyone else and expect recognition as such—even when they’ve done nothing to earn it. They will often exaggerate or outright lie about their achievements and talents. And when they talk about work or relationships, all you’ll hear is how much they contribute, how great they are, and how lucky the people in their lives are to have them. They are the undisputed star and everyone else is at best a bit player.

based only on the movie : we dont knows. again the only thing we have  is “ i m gonna be the hero of arendelle”  but saying hans think he is better than everyone because of that is to me too way much interpretation. it also contradict what it say previously Hans dont expect recognition without doing nothing. For him he need to do something and act like a hero to have arendelle respect.

complementary information on a frozen heart : Hans doesn’t except recognition without doing nothing. Hans believe he had to earn recognition. We know that he think he can be a good king but nothing about great exaggerate his achievement or talent,Also His father told him “ dont disappoint me…again” and he respond “ i wont” he knows he need to prove himself to have approval of his father. That’s what drive him to go in arendelle “ prove them wrong”Having to earn people affection is  definitely one of hans goal

.Lives in a fantasy world that supports their delusions of grandeur Since reality doesn’t support their grandiose view of themselves, narcissists live in a fantasy world propped up by distortion, self-deception, and magical thinking. They spin self-glorifying fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, attractiveness, and ideal love that make them feel special and in control. These fantasies protect them from feelings of inner emptiness and shame, so facts and opinions that contradict them are ignored or rationalized away. Anything that threatens to burst the fantasy bubble is met with extreme defensiveness and even rage, so those around the narcissist learn to tread carefully around their denial of reality

.Based on the movie : we doesn’t knows.anything of that to me its making wayyy to much assumption about hans personality that were never show in the movie. we have maybe one moment : the duke of weselton criticized him when he give the cloaks hans is calm and say the princess has give her orders.he became aggressive when the duke criticized anna ( his key to the throne) not him. he is calm when this is about him. Hans is aggressive at the end when anna say to him he  is not match for elsa. so we just dont know since Hans show different behavior. again they never told us why hans wants to be king he wants to be hero can be because he did live in a fantasy world but also because he dont live in a fantasy world and finally has his moment to shine.

others information on a  frozen heart :  somewhere we are in hans head ! so what told us ? in the beginning of a frozen heart hans has dream : only’s son of his father he told him how proud he is of him and this is time for him to give him his kingdom. then he stop and told himself : “ this is never gonna happened and he needs to stop making fantasy and dream about thing that never gonna happened his father hates him and needs to dealt with that. Hans doesn’t believe in his fantasy. He is not living in his fantasy. Then hans doesn’t react to thing that threaten his fantasy bubble by extreme defensiveness. on the contrary he is resigned to be a throwaway and worthless.  

Needs constant praise and admirationA narcissist’s sense of superiority is like a balloon that gradually loses air without a steady stream of applause and recognition to keep it inflated. The occasional compliment is not enough. Narcissists need constant food for their ego, so they surround themselves with people who are willing to cater to their obsessive craving for affirmation. These relationships are very one-sided. It’s all about what the admirer can do for the narcissist, never the other way around. And if there is ever an interruption or diminishment in the admirer’s attention and praise, the narcissist treats it as a betrayal

.based on the movie : hans come from a family that ignore him and make him feel invisible. we can also say based on his relationship with anna for Hans its all about anna , please her , do what she wants , it is not one side  because he wants to be king. arendelle , its all about him making them love him. lets also added it say Hans is a social chameleon. hans definitely has no problem making effort to win people heart. it is not one side. with Hans this is all about how he can please people to have what he wants. so we doesn’t exactly  know but some element contradict that behavior

.based on a frozen heart : He doesn’t seems to show his behavior again since what he feels as a young adult in his mind is inferiority not superiority. He wants legitimate compliment not exaggerate compliment he want to have respect and he was going to deal with the fact that his father hates him arendelle was an idea from his brothers lars , hans , him was going to  go to the brotherhood once his father say it.. so Hans can live without praise and admiration. Hans wants all the times to have his father proud of him have his respect trust , the king on the other hand humiliate hans and abuse him and doesn’t even respect him. The relationship between hans and his father is one side on hans part.

Sense of entitlement Because they consider themselves special, narcissists expect favorable treatment as their due. They truly believe that whatever they want, they should get. They also expect the people around them to automatically comply with their every wish and whim. That is their only value. If you don’t anticipate and meet their every need, then you’re useless. And if you have the nerve to defy their will or “selfishly” ask for something in return, prepare yourself for aggression, outrage, or the cold shoulder.

Based on the movie : dont know. all of that are too much interpretation. hans can feel special but also not special , he can think be a king is his right , but he can also want to be king for others reasons. so we just dont know. also again hans dont expect the people around him  to automatically comply with his every wish and whim.

with the information on a frozen heart : Hans has a plan : going to elsa coronation in order to marry her. His reaction , he need to show his father than he can trust him and be responsible. He passed 3 years of his life doing that. Prove himself he is capable to have his trust. in the book it reveal hans dont feel special , he dont expect people to give him a favorable treatment since he is little hans was show that he need to prove himself and that it is never enough. Hans show a opposite behavior he has to prove himself to the whole world , arendelle , his father, his brothers. everything with him is earned and deserve. he needs to work hard 

Exploits others without guilt or shame Narcissists never develop the ability to identify with the feelings of others—to put themselves in other people’s shoes. In other words, they lack empathy. In many ways, they view the people in their lives as objects—there to serve their needs. As a consequence, they don’t think twice about taking advantage of others to achieve their own ends. Sometimes this interpersonal exploitation is malicious, but often it is simply oblivious. Narcissists simply don’t think about how their behavior affects others. And if you point it out, they still won’t truly get it. The only thing they understand is their own needs.

based on the movie : hans do exploit others he exploit anna  !  but he exploit others in order to achieve a plan he makes and prepare.  we dont know how he view people in his life. and if hans exploit others when he doesn’t have a plan in mind and view them as object. the fact that he exploit anna is not enough to say he has the symptoms. also “ the only thing they understand is their own needs” is very uncertain since hans did not exploit arendelle citizens and show to be concern about their needs.

with a frozen heart : Hans did exploit others he exploit anna and elsa for his plan in arendelle and also hide his intention to his father in order to get what he wants. to the coronation. But he doesn’t do it without shame/guilt/empathy since After propose to help his father he show regret ans say to himself what i got myself into. Hans say that anna would be happy to insult him so he knows he has done something bad and can put himself in people’s shoes. He also say how he has never be a murderer. , He show also for a very short time empathy for the the queen who has lost her sister. so he  has a conscience.We also knows hans doesn’t take people as object he show empathy for , his mother , ignore on her birthday ,  his sister in law also ignored by his brother , his horse maybe also , he has a normal relationship with his brothers lars.if he definitely is able to exploit others for his selfish interest but not in the same way narcissist exploit people.  he dont take people as object in his life

.Frequently demeans, intimidates, bullies, or belittles others 

Narcissists feel threatened whenever they encounter someone who appears to have something they lack—especially those who are confident and popular. They’re also threatened by people who don’t kowtow to them or who challenge them in any way. Their defense mechanism is contempt. The only way to neutralize the threat and prop up their own sagging ego is to put those people down. They may do it in a patronizing or dismissive way as if to demonstrate how little the other person means to them. Or they may go on the attack with insults, name-calling, bullying, and threats to force the other person back into line.

based on the movie : we dont know. i read hans bully anna and elsa and act like a bullier ? i dont really get it on the contrary hans is social chameleon he earn the trust of everyone and at the end didn’t bully anna he abandon her ! he definitely intimidate anna  but  the part “frequently” lack we just doesn’t knows.

based on the book : this one is interesting ! because hans do try some time to intimates people to have what he wants and even wants to thank his brothers but he also hates to do that at others part and prefer to be sweet to people , smart and not violent.  he did it with oaken the duke of weselton men  even mock him because of that. hans also say a lot of time that he is not violent he on the contrary try to please people to have what he wants. he offered the man a territory in his kingdom to have them on his side.we also learn that hans is victim of  severe bullying  he hate intimidates people , refuse to fight back dont want to act like his brothers and hates his brothers and how they treat him his brothers frequently dreams, intimidates , bullies , or belittle him.  so if Hans did show at some part tried to intimidates the dignitaries or anna at the end this is not a part of the personality on his everyday life. he used two or three time intimidation as a tool to have what he wants

.conclusion  ; i think we can say based only on the movie :  say Hans  has  narcissist personality disorder is a based on a lot assumption about  his character ,  there is even small some things he did  than contradict some NPD behavior.with the additional information disney give us : hans doesn’t have the disorder he doesn’t have any symptoms. he exploit others but this is because he is an opportunist. there is also vulnerability narcissism who is not grandiose but Hans dont show the symptoms   at all of narcissist. so grandiose or vulnerable this is not really the question. let’s also said that everyone has a level of narcissism because it is a spectrum and apparently too much narcissism is not necessarily a bad thing ( yeah read that somewhere)