#//everyone who does generally has a valid reason tbh

[reflections-of-mobius]

Lil thought process. Lil one.

Wears gloves while doing dishes: Fin, Cinn, Node, Rust, Tempest.

Doesn’t wear gloves while doing dishes: Arwen, Murk, Strawbeet, Bless.

The fuck’re dishes?: Tenebrosity.

[zvezdacito]

// TWST Book 7 spoilers, thoughts of Malleus's writing as a character

So I was reading some other people's opinions on why some people consider Malleus overrated/annoying, and tbh this makes me really sad. The general consensus is that a lot of people fixate on certain sides and can only see him as one extreme or the other and it results in many ppl thinking a watered down version of his character is how he is in canon.

I feel that its such a shame because he's the most interesting, compelling and well-rounded take on his character archetype I've seen.

From my observation, usually they kinda make this archetype (the broody misunderstood 'everyone fears him like a monster except for one special person') someone you can't take that seriously, because of how his struggle usually kind of written in a way where everyone involved feel less like actual fully fledged original characters and really just one note tropes interacting with other one note tropes.

To elaborate: What i mean when i say this is usually ppl who hate him kind of just do because of plot requires them to and to show how all their haters are "normies" who can't get him because 'he's not like everyone else'. The misunderstood guy still usually has toxic personality issues but the story really tends to make it feel like they don't fear him for that but because they're shallow and have prejudice to ppl like him, so his personality issues are not framed as wrong or character flaws.

I don't think there's anything inherenrly wrong or mediocre with the "one special person who gives him a chance before anyone else" trope like I'm literally a Malleyuu enjoyer lol but like i said its all in the execution cause otherwise it fails to be compelling and believable. Usually in the poorly written version of this trope the guy doesn't undergo any character development other than showing more emotion and kindess to his partner because they melted his ice I guess so it really makes his whole character feel like its revolves around the sake of romance and fanservice.

Malleus doesn't fall into this trap in my opinion because his situation despite how fantastical it is, the way he was written makes it believable as to why everything is the way it is with him, and it also challenges the viewer if they would be able to say they wouldn't fear him too in that situation.

"We're gonna give you this character who everyone sees as a monster and show you deep down he just wants the same love as everyone else, making you contemplate changing judgement on him. He wants to prove this, but his way of going about it always inadvertently harms others."

"You know where hes coming from and if he had that social connection to give him a better understanding of others this wouldn't be happening, but its also equally understandable that the people hes trying to connect with don't deserve this and fear him even more after this, trapping him in a cycle of isolation."

"Given his track record, do you go about giving him a chance or just considering the repeatedly proven danger he brings. With the valid reasons of both parties, can you really say he isn't a monster and demand that 'if only people be near him'?"

There's just such a tragic and thought-provoking dilemma to his character that adds so many layers that makes him so good.

As omniscient viewers we have the benefit of seeing what he's going through form his POV so we can sympathize with him and understand that he thinks what he's doing is the best course of action and he's just trying to create a "win for everyone" situation.

But also everything he does ironically reaffirms everyone's fear and distrust of someone like him. No one can deny he has a tendency to cause further destruction when he tries to do something "good", examples including: past Briar Valley lantern lighting fire, the Halloween 2 ghost world party, and now his Sleeping Curse stunt in Book 7 Part 2 (they really emphasize this by making the spoken name of his UM basically mean "Malicious Fairy" but have its written name used to convey what its meant to mean be "Blessing").

↑ Given this, it honestly makes sense others, especially those who don't know him all that well, would just expect the worst when he's around already, and you wouldn't be able to blame them for that given the track record. It doesn't help that this impression is worsened since he tends to cause misunderstandings due to his lack of familiarity with human social cues.

Alongside the bias and preconceived notions from his status and reputation, they also make a point on how his personality flaws are still also a huge factor in pushing people away, such as not being able to see things through the perspective of others.

He also holds a subconcious belief due to what has been ingrained in him since childhood as a Draconia and the next in line that because he's superior to others at certain things, he has the right and responsibility to decide on what will protect and help them, disregarding the individual values/priorities of human beings and leading him to take reckless and destructive action with good intentions.

His upbringing, character strengths and character flaws are all realistically connected to each other and the way they are subtly shown to be ever-present in defining his decisions, goals and thoughts throughout the whole story. So we don't really need to have a character go out of their way to exposition this to us this word for word just so we can understand and believe it.

Moving onto something slightly more lighthearted, I really also like how dorky Malleus surprisingly was. Other similar characters in the archetype I usually see don't really have any hobbies, interests, or quirks outside of being a broody authority figure, which might've been appealing to some at first but it really just gets stale and boring after a while.

This should be the bare minimum in making a fleshed out and interesting character so maybe i sound like im giving them too much credit for pointing it out😭 But yeah compared to the other examples it's good that Malleus has his Tamagotchi and Gargoyle interests it makes him feel like a believable person who has his own life going on too (with the bonus that these interests are also metaphors for aspects of his character). The gap moe adds an endearing side to him, and makes the gap between his intent and impact of his actions even more tragic. It wouldn't hit the same without this side.

(^ Forgot how the exact quote goes, but it basically said dark stories are more effective when there are moments of genuine happiness and good in them, compared to if it was always just grim and edgy. The former increases the stakes and tragedy because you have something you to care about losing, while for the latter there is nothing for you to care about so nothing the story does really matters. Same logic applies to Malleus)

Overall, it's just like an unfortunate incompatibility of goals and circumstances, which is what TWST is all about. Another thing I want to say is out of all the characters, I feel like Malleus is the one who is the ultimate embodiment of TWST's main themes:

-> How it's not about "hero" vs "villain" just differing circumstances crossing paths and clashing because of how people on either side have their own complex perspective and dreams they want to realize

-> And how connection and finding community is important to find people who will help you make up for what you lack in reaching your goals and to better understand all the factors that caused the situation in the first place.

As if seeing yourself reflected in a mirror, the more you get to know the people around you, you realize in many ways you are actually quite alike, and through understanding others you could also possibly better understand certain aspects of yourself. It's sort of encouraging you to do the opposite of dehumanizing others and yourself, which is something Malleus has most evidently internalized.

So yeah this was so long😭 I had a lot I wanted to say since Malleus is my favorite TWST character. Idk if I missed anything or if i managed to express my thoughts in a cohesive way but yeah. I kinda go into a rage whenever I see the worst takes ever be put out about his character but tbh sometimes I can't completely blame others since fandom trends and the convenience of simplifying things into tropes can warp your perception of a character and what you associate with them.

Also sometimes twst doesn't do a good job with utilizing his character like Book 5 where he got turned into a deus ex machina and Halloween 2 where they killed any hype and intrigue for the plot we had at the beginning through the ending reveal and gave the worst justification ever for Malleus and Lilia's actions ever.

Regardless, I hope more people manage to move past this and appreciate his character for what it really is soon though. He's an amazingly tragic character; a lot of thought was put into how his experiences, strengths and weaknesses would convincingly connect, and he represents something relevant in the story's plot and themes.

The fact that I've seen some people unironically believe that Malleus may just be faking his cluelessness of social cues to hide his "true evil" is evidence to how convincing his character's situation is, that even some in the audience who know more about him than the characters would still end up in the same place of doubt and distrust of Malleus because of what he's capable of.

Aight thank you for reading👍

[mafaldaknows]

I just don't understand what his team was thinking when they agreed to this stunt. Exactly how does he benefit from it other then being seen as an uber straight grade-A douchebag? Is this really the image his team wants for Timmy? There's just too much talent and potential there to be shamming with a Kartrashian/Jenner.

Hello, Anon:

It’s absolutely mind-boggling what having more money than God can buy in the United States of America these days: New lips, new hips, and a sparkling new image with a shiny new man who apparently doesn’t even need to be present to win.

The KarJenner PR team has been hard at work for the last few months for a classy reboot of baby sister Kylie, complete with a romance with the internet’s boyfriend, style influencer and fashion icon Timothée Chalamet, who also happens to be the greatest actor of his generation. At face value, it certainly does seem like an unlikely match, given the imbalance of (dare I say it?) intellectual curiosity and preternatural talents between them. But anything is possible, when one has more money than one can ever spend in several lifetimes and the other has greater goals and ambitions than his power and influence will allow at this point in his career.

Both parties involved, however directly or indirectly, can find benefit in being in each other’s orbits driveways, taco restaurants, tarmac, in an image-conscious culture ravenous for juicy content just like this.

One of the pair has received a decidedly more positive boost from it.

The other, not so much, perhaps by design.

He may have extremely valid reasons for wanting to promote that particular “douchebag” image, if he really is willingly participating in what appears to be yet another PR romance. His handlers and PR team probably assume that he must do this in order to continue to level up in Hollywood as the next Leonardo DiCaprio. And they are probably right, given the current wave of puritanical bigotry in the USA and elsewhere in the world. There is far too much money riding on the success of his next three potentially blockbuster projects and too many people with a vested interest in his success for them to allow his image to be seen as anything other than “normal” in order to appeal to the mainstream sensibilities of a global audience. His own ambitions most likely make it impossible to refuse.

Can’t knock the hustle. ✨💃🕺🏻✨ And both of them are hustlers. Maybe that’s what they have in common.

If this were truly an authentic romance, we already know that all they would need to do to keep it private is to KEEP IT PRIVATE: Say nothing to the press, don’t call the paparazzi to meet you in the parking lot, don’t alert the media at all. They both have the means and resources to disappear from public view whenever they want, if they really wanted to do that. It’s not a requirement to begin a new relationship with a press release, not even for celebrities.

And yet here we are, a love story loudly announced in a tale of two cars, maybe three, long driveways but park at the bottom where everyone can see, and taco dates with paparazzi who take photos but only with his wingman.

A story which has made it abundantly clear that at least one of them wants to

MAKE SURE EVERYONE NOTICES their super-duper-uber-private budding romance 🚘🌮❣️🌮🚘

I’m not entirely convinced that he’s even an active participant in all of this, TBH. Many of the details thus far don’t add up to much of anything except a lot of black cars being shuffled around in his driveway published by the trash gossip press with sensationalist headlines and articles intended to plant the idea in the minds of those who want to believe it or need to know it’s happening.

For reasons.

And all of this accomplished without a single decent photo as concrete evidence of this alleged romance between two people famously well-versed in the art of the selfie in the golden age of Instagram.

Not even a fan photo or one “leaked” by their team. Nothing, except some extraordinarily grainy outdoor shots in someone’s backyard where the only easily identifiable person is Kylie Jenner and only because of her unusual proportions, in a town teeming with Teemo lookalikes who would happily stand in for the real thing for nothing but the chance to say they did it.

The Devil works hard but Kris Jenner works harder.

Seeing might be believing, but only if we can actually see what we’re seeing.

Thanks for your comment. 🤔🥔📸🎪🫤🤷🏻‍♀️

[saltminerising]

honest to god. i get not liking ancients and i do think that this year was incredibly ancient focused in a bad overwhelming way. but some people who don't like ancients are such thundercunts for no reason. they act like staff wanting to be able to release unique breeds that arent held back by apparel has actively made the site an unplayable festering shithole. it isnt even impacting the work on moderns. you arent losing SHIT or dick and yet we have to constantly act like staff pissed in your cereal and told you to get lost for being a filthy modern liker. i get many complaints ur allowed and genuinely very valid for not liking ancients, i dont actually have many and tend not to scry em bc i hate not being able to dress them tbh. the schedule this year sucked, two ancient genes and only one apparel fest cycle feels sad, the lack of apparel in general feels sad, i hate how buggy the releases have been and so i do think staff needs to re-evaluate their priorities hardcore. does not mean i don't think ancients should exist period and that theyre ruining the game just for existing and everyone else is playing badly or wrong for using their butt ugly naked freaks. maybe im bringing a lot of vitriol to the table but every crit i see on tumblr of ancients always has such a shitty little nasty attitude about it instead of genuine crit.

[lawluenvy]

something a lot of people dont understand:

multishipping is just more fun!!!

why the fuck not? don't you love your little buddy? aren't you so in love with x character yourself that you imagine that everyone else must fall/be in love with them too?

like i know that lawlu will never happen but i love it anyways. cuz why the fuck not? why the fuck not imagine that law has fallen head over heels for the monkey boy that barelled into his life and saved it asking for nothing in return and trusting you when all logic says he probably shouldn't? why become invested in your pirate rival's future and wellbeing enough to go to the war you happened to hear he started and save him before he kills himself out of recklessness? you met exactly once before this. why do you care law??? WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!?!

you know what other one piece ship i love that has real concrete basis for? (altho censorship and heteronormativity may still prevent it of course) --- zolu!!!! undying love and devotion and trust in one another??? captain and first mate???? the only man Mr. Greedy Gut Luffy himself would ever/has ever offered to share his food with????? incredible.

multishipping is just fun y'all! shipping isn't/shouldn't be all about what is actually realistic or has basis or is the most "moral" based on real world modern standards

it's just fun to take two or more characters you love and try to imagine "hm how would this happen/work?" cuz WHY NOT?

just because i believe that zolu is legit and beautiful and endgame does not invalidate my wholehearted belief that law is in love with luffy and my desire to imagine "what if luffy liked law back?"

alright?

it's just fun y'all. fandom is supposed to be fun and an escape from the terrible disappointment that is real life - i'm so tired of people trying to bring real life into it. get your ugly ass reality out of here alright!? i'm here for the fantasy!!! i'm here for the "anything is possible!!!"s not the "actually this ship makes 0 sense for x and y reasons so you shouldn't be shipping that- people should be shipping my monoship only cuz it's more valid" like stfu no one cares you sound like a conceited loser

by all means if multishipping isnt for you cuz you just LOVE this ONE SHIP SO MUCH you can't picture anything else (so valid tbh) then alright you may ship what you wish how you like it of course buuuuut:

don't shit on other people's ships like fandom engagement is just some contest of moral superiority??? like??? who the fuck?

get out of here with that. so boring- if we wanted real life post-modern late stage capitalist "everything is a competition" and the heteronormative christian monogamy that simultaneously condemns but endangers individuals to manipulative and toxic relationship dynamics that is embedded within it --- why would we be here in the first place??? if that's what you want then why are YOU here?

i wish i lived in a world where it didnt fucking matter that luffy is only 18 because why should that matter? of course i know why in our reality it would be something to be concerned about but in one piece? on the grand line? where people can be made entirely of rubber or metal blades or goddamn smoke? and where law and luffy are in the same pirate generation and have obvious and clear respect for each other???

why on earth would i ever want to and choose to view lawlu in the problematic light of our fucked up contemporary where by its standards if luffy is only 18 and law is 26 then one would assume law must clearly just be taking advantage of luffy's naïvety cuz that's what people in this reality are most often like --- when the ONE PIECE REALITY is that law views luffy as his equal and is a MUCH BETTER REALITY! like why would you want to bring what sucks about our world into theirs??? it's not like luffy's pubescent like what is your problem??? y'all infantalize him so much when you do this and it's gross. he's a whole ass man with big dreams and a big ship and a big destiny - get outta here with that real life bullshit.

anyways.

i could rant about shipping discourse literally forever cuz its a subject that sadly never ends.

this applies to so many different ships in so many different fandoms but im just using lawlu vs. zolu as an example because the absurdity of one piece is just such an excellent demonstration of why applying our world's standards on fantasy worlds is a stupid waste of time

stopping forcing things into your black and white boxes of good and bad. shit's "grey" and rainbow as fuck. i look outside the window of my office right now and i see a world that is literally not black in white - there is colour everywhere. your rigid standards don't even work here despite the machinations of society demanding it must be so- and they definitely don't work in worlds that dont exist

fuck your real world problems when we're talking about fantasy worlds

i choose to spend my time in fantasy worlds cuz i fucking hate it here on our doomed planet earth

fantasy is so much better than here

let people have their fantasies - it is literally harming no one

[talesofanaudhdnothing]

Introduction

Good morning, it’s 1pm.

I’m a vlogger at heart and hope to keep up with my channel but thought I would try another avenue of connecting? Anyways the point of that was to explain how I got so used to saying good morning to my camera that I would accidently do it at 4 or 5 pm on my way home from work in the video diaries I would make (not even to upload, I just like to talk but only to myself). Eventually I just started to do it on purpose and while i’m sure no one actually cares, I personally find it hilarious so I have claimed it as my thing.

I’m Bee and this is my blog! Could I tell you what I’ll be posting here? No. Basically, this is just a void for me to shout into just like my youtube channel. I like to think I can offer a pretty realistic and relatable perspective on life and that’s why I like to share. Because I like to consume content I can relate to, and I want to be that content for other people. I crave connection into the world I feel like an alien to. I have autism 🎉 !!! I’m not sure if it’s related but honestly, it checks. Before we go any further let me give you the alphabet soup recipe:

Level 1 ASD 

Combined ADHD

Generalized anxiety

depression

And probaby cptsd, arfid, dyscalclia ????

Aaaand as of now that’s it but give me another month or so of introspection and observation and i’ll get back to you. It’s weird taking a piece of yourself and focusing so hard to figure out what it is like that. Things I thought were just normal, aren’t. Everyone isn’t having the same thoughts and feelings and emotions as I am. Everyone is not having as tough of a time as me. I’m also hyper-independent… for some reason so that doesn’t really help with ever asking for the support I need. Weird, right?

I was officially DX with audhd on april 4th, 2023 through some place online that I still kinda squint my eyes at. But I got my silly little paper that says i’m autistic so that’s really all I needed. And tbh I could have paid for and had the best ASD evaluator in the world and I’d still be like “ ok but like..are you positive bc?”. Not because I don’t want to be autistic, god no. I was RELIEVED to discover I might be autistic. And I totally respect everyones feelings and they are very valid but I never understood being upset. To me; If you are autistic, you’ve BEEN autistic. Having the words to it isn’t going to make it worse. It doesn’t give you autism to say you’re autistic. But what it does is validate that you aren’t crazy or weird or just an outsider. You aren’t alone and now you know how to help yourself. Why would I be upset to learn that the reason I get so irrationally angry and deeply terrified when someone revs their motor is because I’m autistic and I’m not just being dramatic???

Maybe I just guessed all the right answers. I don’t do XYZ or experience XYZ like other people who are autistic so maybe I’m really not and i’ just weird and destined to never fit anywhere. What if I’m just faking symptoms (not for attention because I keep it private because I’m embarrassed). 

But I know it has to be true, deep down and it always has been and always will be. And I just want to share my experiences and my knowledge. I want to help other audhd people like me. So I want to start this blog to talk about myself; Share my experiences, pass along my knowledge, and share the good and the bad. I want people to better understand us because I know I feel chronically misunderstood. And I just wanna have fun man. I have a lot to say when it’s on my terms and I want to say it!

[jacksprostate]

Regarding your take on neuroscience and mental illness what are your thoughts on placing people on a spectrum when it comes to ASD?

Frankly my opinion on this is once again incredibly unpopular for something on the eternal baby site. I'm not gonna get all the way into it but I'm going to put a little bit under the cut.

I'm not quite sure how to say this tbh, because no matter what I say it will probably be taken badly. And I actually have a lot of nuanced things to say on this topic but I can't write pages for everything. So I think I'm just gonna address one thing, which extends a bit into other things as well.

On tumblr and tiktok and in general, there is a very large contingent of kids and adults who desperately do not want to grow up who are burying themselves in diagnoses as a way to explain their mild (I do not say this to be cruel, but I mean it literally. Are you in normal schooling? Do you have a few friends, or an ingroup (INCLUDING you and all your x diagnosis buddies) Are you relatively independent? If we are talking about severe mental health disorders or neurodevelopment, that's mild. I would describe my own as mild on that scale) problems relative to their peers in a way that is encouraged and considered Valid Suffering and InGroup with their friends and community.

It's natural. You're very lost as a kid, you want to belong, you feel behind, like everything is more of a struggle for you than others. It's unfair you need to put so much more effort in to achieve a lesser result. You shouldn't have to, you feel. And there's a community of people who feel the same, and you're just like them, it nets you friends and an excuse and a right to think of people who want you to change as cruel.

And I am not saying, these kids aren't suffering, or don't have problems. But, for example, I may as well kick this hornet's nest: the sudden rise in children identifying as DID systems using terminology all invented on tumblr and expecting everyone cater to their current roleplay or else be considered ableist, is like, a lot. It's a lot. Social issues and identities have always been a tumblr clout measure and a way to get friends and shit. The systems thing is honestly one of the pinnacles of like, no, I'm not mean for pointing out the obvious. No, even the kids who say it can only be caused by trauma and are doing an rp of having the disorder rather than an outright rp, they also almost absolutely do not have the disorder. For many, many, many reasons which any degree of research into the disorder would illuminate. But that's not the point of it. For the kids who just like the rp aspect, they get to be the free love side of things. The kids that want to feel a sense of social justice will cling to the Actually x side of things. But they're both on sand.

Anyway, I used DID as an example because I really don't feel like ignoring that elephant anymore, if you (generic) think I'm mean for that then that's your problem and you should probably log off and do your math homework etc.

But, to a lesser degree of fakeness (because that's near total haha), this also applies to the online autistic community. And many others. That is not to say autistic people do not exist, or that they cannot be kids, or that they aren't caught up in the same social wave these kids are. In fact I'd bet some are thriving in it. Some though probably feel quite isolated.

Side note, but this does feel like the effect of calling people posers becoming weird anathema. It's not cruel to not believe in other people's things. I don't believe in otherkin either. I am an extremely scientific, grounded person. That said, I'm not gonna lambast any kid over it. At most I won't engage. I know a lot of people feel very hurt over the idea of not every person believing in Their Thing, but not everyone has the same faith or opinions or worldview. It just is how it is.

In the long and short of it, I do think there is a spectrum for ASD, I don't think it extends as far as tumblr advocates, I think there is a natural spectrum for human social development and I also think it's something that can be worked on. Anyway, I'm sure I'll be called an out of touch neurotypical for this because that's the easiest way to dismiss this lol. Very easy to assume those criticising you can't possibly be in x group. Certainly, I don't consider myself autistic. I know plenty of people who do consider me such including some psych personnel (not that I consider that more valuable than some guy walking down the street). I think I represent probably 1.5-2 standard deviations from the usual human experience and I just don't think that cuts it tbh.

[gece-misin-nesin]

I am a person who really fucking hates dabi (for personal reasons- he's fine to me it's just the entire lov fandom irritates the living hell out of me) so seeing your perspective is really fun. I generally disagree though. Also, I don't like the endeavor plot line either, but it's not like dabi is exactly demonized for being angry- natsuo, who the narrative is totally behind, is also angry in the same vein, he just. Doesn't blame his mom or younger brother for their own abuse(or kill people) which is probably what the narrative is condemning here. Dabi completely lost the plot and that's what's so interesting about him to me! But anyway. I like rei fuyumi and shouto best out of all of them so what do you think of them?

Tbh Dabi being so fucked up and can't helping but resent Rei and Shoto is what makes him so interesting to me, I LOVE that sort of complex and messy family dynamics, you're totally valid for disliking him tho! Everyone has different tastes haha

As for Fuyumi and Rei, I feel like both of them just easily forgiving Enji when they're the only women in the family is kind of ehhh writing wise. For Fuyumi, I objectively get that that's probably how she has been coping with the abuse all her life (by hoping they could be a family someday) but I personally find it annoying. As for Rei, her pushing Enji's wheelchair at the last chapters/epilogue is just. No. Like, why does she have to forgive him and play wife for him? I find it frustrating how the sons are allowed to feel complicatedly about it and not forgive Enji while the female characters just forgive him. Not to mention Rei is basically a prop for Enji's arc later on. I don't think she and Touya even had a conversation?? Because Endeavor was soo busy hogging up screentime??? Annoying asf. Anyway, I don't blame her for things that happened in the Todoroki Household, but writing from Dabi's pov resenting her is so much fun I love it.

As for Shoto..I don't really have any thoughts on him I guess? I mostly focus on him for his relationship w Dabi tbh. In canon he's fine I guess.

[venusvxen]

On Spider-Man Into The Multiverse As It Relates To LOA Concepts:)

This is more of a philosophical post as opposed to anything with methods… If you don’t believe in LOA… scroll right past thanks

Having just finished the new spider man movie (a few

hours ago) and yall being well aware of my affinity for the multiverse.. a new string of thoughts just popped up that i thought i would share..

first off.. here are my thoughts on the spider man movie and how it relates to the whole philosophy around the law in general not just manifesting..

1. One main takeaway from the 2nd half of the movie is the whole ordeal with feeling like you //have// to struggle and suffer as a rite of passage. Which is like… Insane.. Miguel basically saying that the suffering is one of the main things that connects them even tho there are infinite multiverses with infinite realities and possibilities… it just reminds me of how i feel guilty and a “cheat” at times for knowing the law and choosing to take the “easier” way out as opposed to letting myself go through unnecessary strife… which brings me to my next point…

2. Just like all those different versions of Miles were connected through the little spider web all different versions of You are connected through the web of consciousnesses. You’re not any more of a cheat for choosing an easy life over a hard life because at the end of the day it is still a version of you that exists within you��. you don’t have to **work** to prove to YOURSELF or THE WORLD that you’re deserving of a new SELF CONCEPT… it is quite literally INSIDE you.. has always been.. always will be.. because it is.. a different VERSION.. OF YOUSJSKKD….

I struggle with this sooo much at times … feeling like I need to go through all this pain and suffering for my triumphs to be valid… but who cares… because if we break this down to the most fundamental levels of the law.. None of us are really.. Any of the self concepts that we attach to ourselves… We’re neither rich, nor poor, happy, sad, depressed whatever.. we’re pure consciousness.. shifting in and out of states. A faceless formless being.. How are you essentially going to tell a blob who dresses up as who they want to be that they’re a cheat for not going through these man made human rites of passages when.. well.. they’re not rlly.. human… it’s pure consciousness. the societal rituals and norms that we cling onto rlly do not matter in imagination and that is the main takeaway…… let yourself just experience whatever it is you want…

which brings us to point number

3. the part where miles said “everyone is always telling me how MY story is supposed to go.. imma do my own thing” had to be like my fav part of the story for multiple reasons… i’ll try to break it down so this doesn’t take 30 years…

Earlier on in the day I was having this internal conflict with myself over this discourse I was seeing all over my twitter page. It made me feel uncomfortable but the reason why i felt the discomfort was rlly because a part of me still acknowledged the 3d as like.. real.. to some extent tbh.. bc if i was fully tapped into the 4d then that would’ve been water of my wings bc it literally… just… does not apply to the self in imagination…

anyways all day i was ruminating on the fact that a part of me.. after alllll this introspection.. still still STILL allows the outside world to dictate how MY story.. and MY life should go.. at times i put my fate into the hands of others..

But lately I’ve been thinking.. I know about all these theories of the multiverse I know how the law works… I know everything in the physical world is a delayed mirror reflection.. So like.. Why do i still allow myself to think i have to walk a path like everyone else around me?

There are infinite possibilities available to all of us.. We can pick and choose from all of them and live out a life that’s fulfilling beyond imagination.. Like seriously. Everyone reading this im sure is deep into this shit and is well aware the world is their oyster.. so why exactly do we continue to move as if the editor and publisher of our stories is some outside force and not us…

I’ve acknowledged that.. there is a certain fear that comes with trekking uncharted waters. Think about every successful person you know in your life or in the greater scheme of pop culture.. name a single one who wasn’t wildly disrespected or called crazy during their ascent to superstardom… You probably will come up short because ppl are very uncomfortable with nonconformity… Anything out of the norm is never rlly taken lightly..

All of them gunning for Miles just because he had the NERVE to want something different for himself.. it happens to all of us in the LOA community too.. We know that we can have anything we want.. anytime we want.. simply by thinking from the perspective of already being that person.. but there’s like this shackle of reason that drags us down because we take the laughs and snarky comments from others to mean that we should just give up on our dreams or that we’re too crazy…

BUT AGAIN.. JSKSKDKZ allllll of the ppl who have gone on to impact society in real tangible ways have all had to deal with people trying to write their story for them and dared to rebel.. Like not gwen’s dad about to live now just because miles broke the canon.. and who knows what will happen in the second movie (THAT COULD H E L P ALL THE OTHER SPIDEYS JUST BECAUSE HE HAD THE GUTS TO DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT)… In more practical terms.. everyone told steve jobs he was out of his mind for even talking about inventing the iPhone… not even 20 years later look how that’s effected Humanity as a whole.. Be sooooo ffr

I guess what I’m trying to get at here is… Don’t take your knowledge of these esoteric concepts lightly and base your path on the ones everyone around you is walking. Not everyone wants to be great chyle🤷🏾‍♀️ But You do. You’re doing the work to change and that could influence others around you in countless ways.. Stop letting people around you write your story even if it seems tempting…

All of your wildest dreams are available to you anyways you wouldn’t possibly be able to conceive of anything you desire if it wasn’t… Anyways

I am going to end this here… because it’s long. I hope any of this made sense bc it’s all over the place but this is also nothing more than my rambles…anyways bye

[depressedhatakekakashi]

nar*sasu keep crying about kakashi/sakura and their relationship with sasuke and how they don't understand him, but they live to ignore naruto still working with the two elders who ordered the genocide of the uchihas, naruto understands loneliness and understands that sas*ke's idea of ​​revolution would be him living a life of misery, but we literally have Naruto don't understanding sas*ke for everything else in series, but as there are two generic sentences about how they understand each other's hearts it's easy to ignore

I wouldn’t blame Nar*sasu tbh, as i know some of the fan’s def don’t think this stuff and enjoy both Kakashi and Sakura as well as their boys

It’s mostly a very specific type of Sasuke fan who think’s only Sasuke was right, sasuke did nothing wrong, and everyone (including Naruto in some cases) was terrible. There’s definitly a focus on Kakashi and Sakura, but a lot of the people saying these things also hate Naruto.

That being said, like they’re not totally wring

Kakashi was wrong to say that specific line to Sasuke, he’s just not wrong for saying it. I have no issue with them pointing out it was wrong for him to try and say it to sasuke, but it’s when they insist the whole belief of ‘you don’t need an reason to love someone’ is wrong that i have an issue because there’s actually 0 issues with the belief itself

It’s a good belief for Kakashi. It has guided him through his life and helped him create some strong bonds

It’s not a good belief for Sasuke, which is what he says

And honestly i think that scene is amazing because it shows how different sasuke and Kakashi are even with similar trauma’s. It displays how one type of trauma (in this case, losing your precious people) can affect two people completely differently

Now this is removing a lot of nuance to both characters, like Sasuke having someone to blame for his trauma where Kakashi always blames himself, but at the basis of ‘i have lost precious people’ they both react so differently and i think it’s beautiful

Sasuke guards his heart and refuses to allow anyone else in without a damn good reason because he has hurt too much already

Kakashi opens his heart and welcomes people in without hesitation because he’s desperate to heal and to ‘fill the hole in his heart’ (as he states to Obito in their fight)

These are two valid way’s to react to trauma and i don’t get why Sasuke fan’s (the extreme obe’s ov) are so desperate to villify everyone that they have to act like Kakashi’s being stupid for saying it

Then of course, they call him stupid and the. Act like he’s supposed to be the ‘wise one’ when Lishi never even suggests once that Kakashi is supposed to be a ‘wise character’

In fact Kakashi makes lots of mistakes and keeps himself rather open to learning from them, which is not something the ‘wise one’ usually does

[wcamino-confessions]

tbh u can enjoy amino all u want. if u enjoy the app. good. i hope it stays that way and ur not a bad or awful person for having fun and not thinking of it as a bad place. but there was a recent post made on here that imo didnt word things well. and i would like to comment on that and bring up my own opinions cause i can.

if anyone can explain this more pls do but im not sure how saying "-amino is a breeding ground for predators and toxicity-" is an excuse and what it would be an excuse for since its not really degrading anyone besides the predators and whoever is bringing in that toxicity and its based on multiple ppls experiences and is a good reason as to why some ppl including myself think amino sucks and was toxic. but what i mainly want to focus on is how weirdly worded this part of the argument + the cmments can seem. yes. all social media has these issues especially twtter. but twtter literally has murder-racially motivated assaults-cp and so much more posted on it daily. its not hard for it to be worse. and i completely agree that many apps are awful and that should not be a thing but is. but this is not twtter confessions. this is not kik confessions. the opinion was posted on warior amino confessions and is based around such. and thousands of ppl already discuss the nauseating posts and experiences on all social medias. ppl are allowed to focus on one social media being problematic and voicing their opinion on that. especially amino since its a dying and unknown app to so many ppl and it can be nice to know others share the same opinion + want to have a civil debate. just because one app is worse doesnt suddenly make another better. and it doesnt erase the racism-abelism-pdophelia-zphilia-abuse thats all been acted out on amino too. it doesnt erase anyones experiences. im not saying the posters or cmmenters intentions are to invalidate what goes on amino cause it most certainly was not. but it could have definitely been worded better. and ppl are allowed to use the live stream videos as an example in an argument as to why they dislike it. there were plenty of sxual content on the live streams that some ppl did not like to see and just because its expected by some does not make it any less valid. that was another part i figure is just not worded too well.

thats really my only cmment with that argument since i do agree with most points made but now its time for my own opinion. imo the minute pdophelia-abuse-zphelia-rcism and plenty of other problematic issues are commonly experienced on a social media platform. i am going to automatically think of it as a bad app and "-a breeding ground for pdophelia and toxicity-". and most ppl agreeing with this opinion are not saying u can not enjoy amino or have great experiences. u can enjoy apps that ppl think are bad. i enjoy a-lot of the apps i think are bad. i understand others have their own opinions and i am sorry to anyone who is being gaslit or attacked for thinking that. u all do not deserve that. this entire place is for us to express our own opinions and sometimes see others opinions on our opinions. but it should be calm and civil. if anyone wants to have a friendly debate on this i am all for it but both sides must be calm. we are all free to share our opinions but not everyone’s going to agree with them and ppl need to suck it up when that happens. to sum it all up. imo amino is enjoyable when it comes to individual experiences but is generally a shitty app. i struggled to make that point in this post even with how annoyingly long it is. but that is my opinion.

[wprowers]

i want to talk about sonic boom characters.

Long post warning.

First of all i would like to say that i really enjoy sonic boom !! I think it has a really healthy and silly humor that for me it's always welcome, so i like this show and its characters. But don't take my opinion as something biased bc i don't really think it is, i can't be biased towards a piece of media that holds little to no value to the true canon mainline games.

I have seen people dragging this show to hell, and at the time it came out it recieved a LOT of criticism for VALID reasons, valid when it comes to comparing them to the actual canon personalities of these characters (which varies from media to media but its mostly the same concept, but you can't say they haven't fucked up in the characterization of certain characters in mainline games but thats for another day).

But neither sonic or amy or tails or whoever in boom actually have any meaning at all, do they have a backstory? a purpose? any serious fight? is eggman even their enemy? Absolutely not!!

BECAUSE THIS SHOW IS NOT MEANT TO TAKEN SERIOUSLY !!

If we are talking about knuckles, he is not smart !! he doesn't have a life mission to protect the emerald !! There's nothing going on for him !! he doesn't even remember anything, in one episode he suddenly realized he didn't have a family and started to look for one, getting manipulated into an "evil" complot and that's he most arc he has ever gotten in boom (found family trope at the end of the ep, rlly cute)

And i did see some worries about the franchise being influenced by the boom! characterization. Mostly for knuckles and amy.

As for knuckles i think that some of you watched the scu shortfilm and immediately thought that they were bringing boom!knux into the mix, i disagree wholeheartedly with this (if s3 comes out and it is like that well then...) i think that scu!knux is just someone who gets represented by his pure heart (as every good representation of knuckles) and lack of knowledge of his surroundings and the people who came into his life. He gets easily manipulated and doesn't know what icecream is, bc he has been a loner for so long !! and he does not know earth, that does not mean he's stupid in any way, and i dont think that's what they would go for in s3.

And for Amy I've seen the discourse that boom! generated around her, some claiming that it was the best amy, for her not overly girly attitude maybe or for the fact that her affection towards sonic was hidden and she didn't show it at all, even though it was stated that she liked him.

So I've seen people saying that due to this amy being well received, it has influenced on how they made her in modern media, which i don't think is that much of a true tbh??? Like besides twitter takeovers, i haven't seen much of boom!amy influence in any other thing, perhaps yes they took a different take for her in frontiers or other modern games, but she has always been true to what really her character is, sonic or not Amy is Amy. Its not about how they made boom! canon suddenly but what is the path they want her character to take while she is still connected to her emotions and love for sonic and everyone.

And no i don't think boom!amy is the best version of amy, i don't think any boom! character is the best version of themselves and they will never be, because there is nothing that conveys their true selves in this interpretation, so it's impossible for these characters to be that.

LETS NOT EVEN TALK ABOUT BOOM!SHADOW because that boy is not shadow at all, then again this is a character that suffered a lot of misinterpretations from his own creators so,,,

So im not making really any point in here?

just simply stating the obvious !! sonic boom is a show that you watch to have fun ! it does not have any action or true emotional moments, never has the team gone through a serious situation. You watch it because it's silly and you don't expect much else from it! Everyone is loveable in their own way if you look at them with the right eyes, so maybe you could enjoy this show without thinking about how out of character most things are.

love you sonic boom i will always defend you

[vrisrezis]

General hcs for ur Bnha favs and a trans s/o (bonus points for trans Bnha hcs u have lol)

YASSSSSSSSS anyways I’m here for the transfem hcs I’m sorry . It’s always my preference since I have a trans gf LOL <3 I love transmasc hcs too ofc tho

Tw since I mention some .. “parental” figures being transphobic

Also when I say aka I just mean that the hc is they changed their name to whatever new name I put .

Katsuki - Aka Suki she/her transfem

She’s always supportive of a trans s/o, a lot of her support would be shown through helping you pick outfits out. She has a really good fashion sense so she’s able to help out regardless of gender, and it’s easy for her to recognize what clothes would make you the most comfortable. She’s good at a lot of fashion shit, hair, hats, etc she’s got it down.

Izuku - Aka izumi she/her transfem

Much more vocal than suki would be about being supportive. Always makes you feel valid in your identity and nobody has the right to make you feel bad about yourself because of it. Shes much more into positive affirmations when it comes to how you identify. She knows for some it’s hard to believe but she will do everything in her power to make sure you believe it and to make sure you’re content with yourself.

Touya - aka Dabi she/they transfem and non binary

Dabi knows what it’s like to be treated like shit for how you identify so she truly sympathizes with you. They’re always there for you though, and is also really patient when it comes to you coming out. It’s really a different experience when your both criminals, but she will burn anybody to a crisp that tries to make you feel like shit for how you identify. She knows how to do piercings, tattoos, etc so if it helps you feel more gender euphoria she’s glad to assist.

Tenko - aka tomura she/it transfem and non binary

It always listens to you when you wanna vent about anything, she understands tbh. Even her supposed caretaker isn’t the most accepting of how it identifies, but she’s at a point in her life where it could care less. However she wants you to be comfortable. Not the best with good clothing but had toga to help out with that. Really just a good listener and being a person that can truly understand you.

Himiko she/her transfem

Toga is sooo accepting and really great at helping you transition and with your fashion sense. Doesn’t matter who it is, she’s so quick to threaten if anyone makes the grave mistake of misgendering you, on purpose or not she does not take that lightly in the slightest. Especially since she knows what it was like for both her and big sis magne.

Rumi she/her transfem

If your nervous about coming out, miruko will detect it quickly and makes you wonder why you were even nervous in the first place. She can be overwhelming with her support, but she means well. Always going out her way to buy you things that she thinks would look super cute on you and would affirm your gender identity, she is patient with you for once in her life as well lmao. She’s all kinds of good when it comes to you and how you identify.

Fuyumi transfem she/her

So sweet to you, she makes you feel so comfortable and makes sure you know to take your time with things. It’s okay to not come out to everyone right away, or at all if it’s for safety reasons. She’s always there for you, and she loves you always. This simply doesn’t change a thing. Is happy to help you out if you need advice on how to transition. There’s no proper way, anyhow.

Shouto she/her transfem (I feel like she’d keep her name)

Accepting of course. I think she doesn’t see it as a big deal but she’s of course going to support you and any needs you may have. She’s not knowledgeable on a lot of gender identities outside of being trans, non binary or genderfluid so any other identity needs to be explained but she learns very quickly. She’s also a great listener when you want to vent.

Mina transfem she/her

So loving and accepting, she’s so excited to help you transition in any way you want. But please tell her if she’s rushing you, she gets in over her head and gets wayyy too excited about helping you out. It’s just that transitioning made her so happy and made her into a person she likes, and she wants you to have that confidence about yourself too!

Ejirou transmasc he/him

Very supportive as always, no surprise there. He’s loving and does everything in his power to help you transition and feel more confident in yourself. Will refrain from calling you manly if it makes you uncomfortable because he loves you so much and never wants you to feel bad about yourself.

Denki non binary he/they

Such a supportive boyfriend wow, always there to lift your confidence up. More masculine, they will match with you. More feminine? Same deal. You’re always supportive of their dresses and skirts, of course he’s supportive of you and every choice you make. Pretty bad fashion sense though, only reason they have it decent is because of their mother lol.

Kyoka transmasc non binary he/him

He is supportive and has a sick fashion sense so he can always help you out. Always there for good support, and he and momo help you out a lot. Denki too tbh lol. He’s also good at listening and helping you get your frustrations out through scream singing lol.

Fumikage transmasc non binary they/them

They’re good at listening, as well as giving banger ass advice on dealing with people and dealing with some “inner demons” and they’re always a good person to vent to about things. They like picking out goth clothes for you.

Hanta he/they/it genderfluid

So helpful, the kinda guy to make jokes about you both being trans too LOL they can’t help it… it’s funny … but other than jokes from time to time sero does take your identity seriously, but man it’s just not good at fashion. Or even good at advice really. But a good person to lean on when you have nobody else.

Hawks she/her transfem

She’s a good support system, and rich enough to get you any surgery, any clothes, any estrogen (I forget the male version but that too LOL) she’s extremely helpful and kind about it. And so very patient with you about it cause she knows how hard it is being trans. But she will always protect you, in the end.

Neito transmasc he/him

He may be the worst but he’s still good enough to support his love, he’s not transphobic and has always been so supportive with you about things even when he’s not vocal about it. Has a horrible fashion sense but insists he can help you with it and he has better taste in fashion than you do, lol,

Shouta transfem non binary they/she

Aizawa is supportive obviously. Tries to help you and be there for you, they typically will opt for others helping you fashion wise since she’s not the best, but other than that is actually really helpful and gives good advice.

Tamaki non binary transfem they/she

Tries to support you but has horrible fashion sense, leaves that to nejire and mirio. They help out with your transition with other things. Whether it he listening to you vent or trying to make you feel affirmed in your identity.

Nejire transfem she/her

So loudly openly supportive . She has good intentions tho. She just love you a lot and she’s so happy you’ve come out and she wants to help you any way that she can help you even if it’s only a little bit lol.

[rhaenyra-daemon]

what do you think of the theory that Daemon was s*xually ab*sed as a child? I feel like his rage, his vulnerability and always hyper alert mindset really supports this. And it probably was someone he trusted/ loved, it'd explain his love/hate relationship with sex in general. Like, real life psychology based, his attitude is very similar to people who were abused as children. What do you think??

I enjoy the idea (the more f*cked up the psyche the better). First time I hear it, though.

Based on the show only we see that Daemon has a lot of rage in him and is desperate for the attention of his older brother whom he loves above everyone else. We know both his parents died when he was young, and since Alyssa got to see Daemon becoming a "warrior" we can assume she died when Daemon was old enough to understand and feel the loss. Plus, if we are to believe Viserys, Daemon was always "mother's favourite". Some of his issues could stem from that.

His relationship with his father is a mystery but if it was healthy, why does Daem seek Viserys' validation so much? Daddy issues much? Perhaps this is why he connects with Rhaenyra (his mirrored image) so well.

Now, moving on to the question at hand, do I believe Daemon was se*ually ab*sed? What leads anyone to believe that? There are at least 5 other possible reasons I'd think of as the explanation for his behaviour before I consider that he might have been subjected to such abuse, tbh

But I'm excited to hear more!

[theangryjikooker]

just read your last anon and I’m usually just a silent reader, and tbh as someone who believe Jikook are a think I disagree with you a lot, but anyways I like reading your blog you seem very down to earth and I like that and I get your frustration. it’s not the first time that I see similar messages and i know I’ll get bashed for saying this but I don’t even believe half of the ppl out there pretending they’re queer (what does that even mean at this point) are anyway. I’ve been in shipping spaces for a long time, I share this "hobby" with a friend of mine and so many "cishets" as they say use the queer umbrella as a shield because we know damn well rps mlm shipping has been thrown upon (sometimes for good reasons, and often times due to misogyny, but that’s just my opinion ). I know some ppl are gonna get mad at this and call me names, not sure why I even send this but as a "cishet" (I usually refuse to use the word cis but that’s another can of worms I won’t open here) I’m seriously done with this mindset. i’m free to make assumptions and ship whoever I want or deny any ship I want to deny like anyone else and being part of the lgbt community is not a requirement to ship, what’s with people acting like the thought police here… ha sorry I needed to vent I guess, that post made me mad

Yes, it's fine to disagree with me! A lot of people who are following me don't agree with everything I have to say, if any at all. The only reason why I know this is that I've seen some familiar names interact with bloggers I 100% would not get along with, but that's really none of my business. I'm not here to change minds.

I think those followers tend to be curious about what I have to say about some aspect of Jikook. Sometimes it'll make them think; most of the time they think I'm full of shit. I have my own critiques of hardcore shippers/supporters, so I fully expect that my existence throws a wrench in all of that and incites aggression in others. All I do is talk about how I feel. Anyone who chooses to interact with me are doing so of their own volition and are responsible for their own actions.

I don’t even believe half of the ppl out there pretending they’re queer (what does that even mean at this point) are anyway. So this POV is a bit of a slippery slope. If we cast doubt on everyone and everything because a fraction of one's community is encouraging those feelings, it doesn't help anyone. Personally, I haven't "met" general ARMYs or shippers who have pretended to be queer, but I've read about this happening. I think the real culprit is the anonymity of the Internet and what kind of behaviors that's enabled over the years, but that's another can of worms I don't want to get into.

To be fair, I understand queer shippers who are tentative about shipping occurring amongst cishets, which is valid, but the way some of them go about protecting what they consider an exclusively LGBTQ+ activity can be extremist and nonsensical, in my opinion.

(Part of me also suspects that this overly passionate dedication amounts to how important fandom is to a person. I prioritize and cherish my real life more than I ever could about fandom, but fandom is also a much needed escape for others, so I can see how that might play a part in people's motivations and how they might go about protecting their safe space.)

Male, female, non-binary, gay, straight, bi, asexual, whatever your sexual or gender identity–don't be an asshole and don't be an idiot, that's all I'm saying. If you're cishet and shipping two males/two females, just be mindful about how you're going about it is all. Shipping because you genuinely care about the individuals involved and believe in who they are as human beings vs. fetishizing them (unintentionally or otherwise) can get a little blurry. (Fetishization is not the only issue that occurs in this cishet vs. lgbtq+ in fandom discourse, but it's the most common and most talked about.)

In my opinion, attraction isn't so discerning; sometimes people just gravitate to whomever they like. If cishets can recognize that attraction is just a feeling that can occur among and across different genders and sexualities, I don't see how this is a bad thing at all.

__

* Sorry, I talk about "cishets" like I'm othering them, and I don't really care much for that attitude, but for distinction purposes, it is what it is.

[sophia-sol]

A Strange and Stubborn Endurance, by Foz Meadows

Ohhhhhh boy. Where to start. Where to start with this. I suppose I'll start by saying that I think this is a very well-meaning book that is probably great for people who are looking for a specific kind of thing in their literature, but that person is emphatically not me and I am going to put a WHOLE lot of words of complaint after this.

(cut for a) significant spoilers, b) me being a grump, and c) discussion of rape)

This is a book that is advertised as a heartwarming queer romance plus political intrigue. I was not expecting to have extended on-screen rape in the first 25 pages. Like, there's a content warning at the beginning of the book that mentions explicit rape? But I was expecting us to work up to it, rather than be confronted with it IMMEDIATELY and at length, and before the reader has been able to build up any trust in the narrative to feel able to trust what it's going to do with this. It turns out though that it's not just that the book CONTAINS rape etc; it is actually ABOUT rape and the trauma of it and the recovery process, which you would never guess from the marketing copy or from the professional reviews I read, or even the content warning tbh. So it was really startling and uncomfortable in a bad way to be thrown into that without my expectations having been set appropriately.

So that....was an inauspicious beginning.

But even beyond that, there were a lot of fundamental things about the book that really didn't work for me in the way that they were clearly intended. 

So the book is an arranged cross-cultural marriage, between Velasin, a man who has been exiled from a culture that is very sexist and homophobic, and Caethari, a man from a culture that is not either of those things. 

The worldbuilding of that second culture feels a lot like the author was like, I'm going to create a culture that lives up to all my ideals!! which is so valid as a wish-fulfilment fantasy, but is not enjoyable to me as a realistic depiction of how things would work, especially in a multicultural context like this clearly is. Give me reasons why Tithena is like this, when none of the countries around it are?? But Tithenai culture has no sexism or homophobia or transphobia, everyone understands consent and it's a fundamental part of their laws and their customs, and it's understood that ritual is important when grieving a loss, including the loss of a pet or a horse. Even Tithenai food is better!

And there are two ways in which this makes other things not work for me in the book, even beyond the general issue with me not wanting my worldbuilding to be nothing but ungrounded wish fulfilment.

First: this makes the cross-cultural communication difficulties within the relationship really dissatisfying, because it's not "these two cultures do things differently and both Velasin and Caethari have to do some learning to understand each other," it's "Velasin has to learn to stop being so Ralian about everything because Ralia sucks." That's not what I read this kind of relationship dynamic for!!! It's uninteresting and reductive, imo.

Second: It makes the ways that there ARE still unquestioned issues in Tithenai culture far more uncomfortable, because I'm left being like "......does the author not realise the significant issues here?" Like, there are different legal privileges for people of the nobility, for crying out loud! And this is just fine???? Ugh, the unthinking classism throughout was a real thing. Also, although Tithenai people are generally better about Markel's inability to speak than anyone in Ralia is, there's still obviously ableism, because sign language is completely unknown in the country, nobody has ever met anyone who's mute before (or Deaf, or anything else related), and there are NO other disabled characters in the entire book. So like. If the author was trying to create a wish-fulfilment idealised culture here, I do not like it.

(And THEN the intersection between the classism and ableism as embodied by Markel made his close friendship with Velasin feel uncomfortably near to the "loyal servant" trope, too.)

(And if the point of the book is indulgent wish-fulfilment, then why so much murder and death throughout? There are SO many people who are dead by the conclusion of the novel! This is not indulgent wish-fulfilment to me!!)

And then. As if it isn't bad enough that nobility can access the judicial system through a different method than others, Our Heroes decide to work entirely extrajudicially to impose a permanent physical punishment on a person they believe deserving of it. And like, yeah, sure, the dude was a whole pile of dicks and did some extremely horrible things, but....WOW. What make you so special, my guys, that you can be judge, jury, and executioner on your own? And later in the book there's like, two sentences worth of them feeling mildly uncomfortable about this, and then it's dismissed forever. Let's not think about it! It's fine!!!!

But also why are Velasin and Caethari so intimately involved with the major criminal investigation that spans the book (....unrelated, at least at first, to the pile-of-dicks guy in the prior paragraph) in the first place? It's not either of their jobs, neither of them has particular skills or experience that would be relevant to them being the main detectives; it seems that it's just because it's attacks on them/their household and because they're nobility and can do whatever the heck they want. It would really be nice if there had been any kind of explanation of WHY they were part of the investigative team!

Which is a particularly funny complaint when I move on to the next aspect of this book I want to complain about, which is that it has a tendency to overexplain EVERYTHING. It feels like the narrative doesn't trust the reader to pick up on anything unless it's explicitly laid out. Even for something as simple as: a character says something that, from the way it's put together and the way it's said, is obviously a common saying or proverb in their culture. And then the narrative takes the time to specify that that's what it is. It's enormously irritating, and slows the whole thing down.

Relatedly, the characters are extraordinarily self aware of their own emotions and thought processes and these all get explained to the reader at length, both in the narrative and in their conversations. And they're always right in their understanding of their own thoughts and feelings! Plus people are awfully willing to extensively answer questions about all sorts of things in a way that doesn't feel naturalistic.

BUT. Sometimes the narrative deliberately chooses not to explain something, for no other reason than because I suppose the author wanted to hide a detail in order to make the later reveal more dramatic? Like when Velasin and Caethari make plans together -- on page! -- about what they're going to do with Killic when he shows up unexpectedly, but the reader isn't told what the plan is until it's enacted. This feels like cheating tbh!

Okay. Let's move on to talking about the main relationship and main characters. I've already touched on this, in the cross-cultural communication frustrations, and the way they all talk like they have swallowed a self-help book. But also. The two of them start the book foreign strangers in an arranged marriage that they feel weird about, and within DAYS completely trust and love each other. This is too fast. This is way too fast! Even with the extenuating circumstances, like yes near-death situations do make people who experience them together more closely bonded, it's still unsatisfyingly fast. I don't feel like I actually got to see them learning to know and like each other in any kind of real and deep way, despite all the extended conversations about feelings they had.

And it's fairly standard in a romance novel that gives equal pov space to both characters that both characters should get to experience a growth/development/character arc, but I really didn't feel like that was the case here. Velasin definitely gets one, but what's Caethari's? I actually feel like his arc is juuuuuuuust about to begin when the book abruptly ends. He's just discovered that his beloved younger sister has committed many crimes against him and people he loves, and then that beloved younger sister dies! But we just move RIGHT on past that and finish the book on Velasin's pov, which is all, wow isn't my relationship with Caethari amazing, the end. Again: unsatisfying.

The thing is, I can tell what kind of emotions the book was intended to invoke in the reader throughout, and none of it worked on me because I was too irritated by *gestures emphatically to all of the above* which then just made me irritated about the attempts to make me feel things! So it's possible I'm more irritated at this book than it really deserves, because despite all of the above issues, it's not overall a <i>bad</i> book. I'm guessing some readers find it helpful to have everything explicated in the narrative, and I'm sure many people find it affirming to get to read the story of a man who was raped getting to experience validation of the trauma, and healing, and love. And it can get tiring to constantly read books in settings where people with your identities are oppressed in various ways, so I'm guessing at least some queer people find it relieving to hang out in Tithena for the space of a book. And so on, and so forth. There are reasons the author wrote this book the way they did.

But I was reading this book at the same time as I was doing a reread of Gideon the Ninth, and the vast contrast between approaches was just.....so contrasting. And although on paper a queer secondary world fantasy romance with politics seems more likely to be my thing than a horror novel about necromancers in space, the way the two authors approach the stories mean that the necromancers are where I'm at!

One final complaint: The choice to have one character's chapters be first person and the other be limited third is weird. I've come across it before and I just do not understand it! What is the purpose behind this choice? If anyone can explain it to me, please do, because I want to understand.

Edit: oh and I can’t believe I forgot to mention! It’s supposed to be about politics but it is NOT about politics, the supposed politics are a murder mystery plot that resolves into what’s ultimately just an internal family inheritance dispute!